#and for the summer i have a few very thin and smaller ones

[c4tto626]

anyways merry christmas to everyone who like me celebrates this evening, my mom knows me well and got me a 2x2m super soft and fluffy red blanket which my cats also love very much lol

[zae-heeyyy]

Aegis

Summary: You defend your daughter from Micah. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Female!Reader Word Count: 1,810 Tags: fluff, family, girl dad Arthur, angst, high honor Arthur Warnings: Violence, mistreatment of a child

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an: This was an anon request. I was weary about this one because I'm not a mom, nor do I spend a lot of time around toddlers, but omg exploring girl dad Arthur was so fun! Shout out to @emerald-ranch for helping me with a horse fact for this one! Thanks for reading. Enjoy!

Aegis: as in protection, means or method of defending

A pair of hazel eyes cut through the dark, shining like twin stars burning holes in the blanket of night. Those usually bright supernovas seemed dull now, washed out by the weight of the world. Your daughter's tiny form scooted in impossibly closer, and you bundled her up, swaddling her like she was still the wiggling newborn you'd held in your arms three years ago.

"Bea," you sighed, trying your best to shield her from the beast that was your frustration. Exhaustion had settled in your bones hours ago, pressing your patience paper thin. Sleep called out to you from the void, and you wanted so badly to answer, but your daughter reeled you back every time.

"I want Daddy," she whined, clutching the fabric of your shift in her little fists. 

You missed him too; she had no idea. In a time that seemed like forever ago, you and Arthur laid in this same cot, your fingers tangled in his shirt in the way your daughter's were in yours now. Motherhood terrified you, and after telling Arthur you were pregnant, you cried all through the night. Raising a child was daunting enough, but doing it with an outlaw in a gang seemed like a nightmare turned reality. 

Solid arms held you together in body and mind. He was your rock even though he was going through his own quiet panic. Arthur knew the harsh realities of parenthood all too well. Still, he knew the brightness, blooms, and blossoms it could bring, and he let himself want it more than anything. Making good on his second chance at having a family, he married you right away and devoted all of himself to you and the baby.

That warm summer night after your screams and her cries had died down, he bowed his head over her, staring without a word. First, one salty tear fell from his face and onto the blanket you'd knitted for her, then another, and another. You tried to offer him the dignity of silence, but your tears burst out with a sob. It was only then that he spoke, snapping out of his baby-induced trance, his eyes wide with concern.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong at all."

And his baby loved him oh so much, the very definition of a daddy's girl. He was the one who protected her from spiders and wasps, the one who made her giggle til her face turned red, the one who'd lift her up on his shoulders and run amok through camp, and the one who snuck her candy when she thought you weren't looking. He was her Polaris, and little did she know, she was his entire universe. Leaving both of you at camp, even if only for a few hours, chipped away at a piece of his soul every time. In the present, you combed your fingers through her light-colored hair and kissed her on the head twice–one from you and one from Daddy, as you always told her.

"I know. He'll be here when we wake up, honeybee."  

And the tent fell silent, but your daughter twisted and shivered, unsettled by passing footsteps.

"Momma…" Her words came out smaller than her. "M'scared."

You wanted to tell her there was nothing to be afraid of, but you couldn't lie to her–not when there was a price on her father's head, not after Blackwater, and not after Colter. In yet another attempt to calm her, you whispered soft shhs. But then she spoke once more, a single word–a name, and your breath caught in your throat.

"Micah."

You sat up with the quickness of a startled doe, sweeping your eyes over your daughter. Tears stained her rosy cheeks, but she was otherwise unharmed.

"What about Micah?" The question came out more urgent than you'd intended, and she hid herself in your bosom. You hoped she didn't hear your heart pounding wildly against your rib cage. 

"Don't want him to come here."

"Why'd he do that?"

She only shook her head. You peeled her away from you, wiping her tears away with the pads of your thumbs before cupping her face in your hands. Your voice was loving but firm–a quiet, motherly demand.

"Bea. Talk." 

She vocalized as best as she could: "He's scary and mean."

And then, after a long pause, her small hand came to rest over yours on her cheek.

"He touched my face."

A curtain of red-hot wrath veiled your vision, and it took everything in you to hide it from the baby in your arms. No matter how big she got, she would always be that pink, wrinkly baby in the knitted blanket. You put on a stellar performance, eyes twinkling, your smile adding light to the darkness that'd settled over you. You reassured her that Daddy and Uncle Dutch would take care of that, that she had a whole family looking out for her, and that she was safe. 

In one last attempt to get her to settle, you laid back down, closed your own eyes, and began a slow hum of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." In the middle of the second run-through, she'd gone limp, finally.  You tried to follow suit, but your thoughts were louder than ever. 

Arthur'll be back soon.

Let the men dish it out. 

Get some sleep, get some sleep, get some sleep.

But your legs swung over the cot, and you left your eaglet behind in the nest as you soared into camp, sharp eyes scanning for your prey–a rattlesnake masquerading as a man. The drunk bastard saw you coming, flashing his fangs in a smug display of mockery. He didn't expect the beer bottle he'd been nursing to explode across his head, the glass shattering like a storm of meteors crashing down to earth. The impact sent him sprawling to the ground, and you were on top of him in an instant in the only way you'd ever be–out for blood. A blackhole temporarily swallowed both of you as you slammed your forehead into his with all the force of two colliding planets. 

The shockwave drowned out everything around you–so much so that you didn't hear someone shout for Arthur and didn't notice your husband had returned just before you left the tent. Micah fought back hard, trying in his intoxicated stupor to twist free, but you had him good, your nails like talons breaking skin and cutting off his air supply.

An owl-like screech tore through your lungs as two strong hands yanked you away. Your husband's eyes locked onto yours, grounding you, clearing the haze of fury. Time seemed to slow as you saw yourself reflected in concerned chrysocolla-colored eyes.

"Hey now, hey, easy…"

Just when he thought he'd calmed his distressed mare, the snake hissed in the grass.

"Get control of your whore, Morgan!"

"Arthur," you caught his attention, him looking from Micah back to you, "Beatrice." 

At hearing his daughter's name, Arthur bared his teeth and dug his nails into his palm. Without thinking, he shoved you aside, and you knew if you let him get to Micah, all hell would break loose. Roles reversed, you grabbed at his sleeve with both hands, pushing your weight into your heels to keep him in place. Micah started a mocking chortle. 

"That seed of yours." He tried once again to rise up on his feet, "Ain't much hope for her. She'll let fellas buy her for a penny just like her momma."

His taunting stung enough for you to temporarily lose hold of Arthur, and he took his chance, sending the metal tip of his boot flying into Micah's chin. The devil incarnate spit out blood and chipped bone and let out a hoarse, guttural bellow of pain, but he didn't try to stand anymore. 

"Lucky she got to you first." Arthur spat, "I ain't stopping her next time."

Your husband stomped off with his arm around your waist, back to your lion's den where your cub was still sleeping soundly. Collapsing onto the cot, you dug your palms into your eyes, trying to ease the pressure of a building headache. Lantern light came into your field of vision as Arthur's calloused fingers pried your hands away. 

"That was stupid," he whispered, aware of Beatrice still sleeping. One hand clutched your chin, and the other moved your hair out of your face to get a good look at you, "I woulda' handled it."

The cold sting of a wet cloth against your bruises made you wince. 

"I know. Couldn't help myself."  

Arthur didn't say anything else and finished cleaning you up in silence. Though the presence of your family back together brought you a semblance of peace, you twisted the gold band around your finger, lost in hellish thoughts. You and Arthur made promises to each other and to your little girl, and you'd make good on them, no matter the cost.

"I'll kill him next time."

Arthur had stripped down to his union suit and nodded at you as he took his hat off and set it beside the photo of your daughter's namesake.

"I know."

Then, his face lit up. He stopped your fidgeting by taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles. Deep down, he knew you had it in you, but something about his wife, the sweetest thing he'd ever met, nearly ripping a man's head off his shoulders with her bare hands, struck a cord of pride within him. 

"Though I don't think anybody in their right mind would tempt you after seein' that."

And you felt embarrassed of your wild display of maternal ferocity. But Arthur, in all his tenderness and love for you, made all your doubt vanish.

"That's my girl," he whispered, holding his hands out.

You let him hoist you up into his warm embrace. The steady rise and fall of his chest and rhythmic heartbeat could've lulled you to sleep right then and there. This closeness had become a delicacy since parenthood, and you savored every bite. Arthur sighed contently as he breathed in the scene before him. Though you were buried in his chest, you knew he was looking over at his sleeping baby girl while he was hugging you.

"Maybe one day she can spend the night with Abigail and Jack, and we can have some husband and wife time." 

You hummed in agreement, tempted to let your limbs fall weak in his arms. The sounds of rustling blankets woke you right back up.

"Daddy?" 

Arthur didn't let you go. Instead, he squeezed you harder, a silent thank you for the life you'd birthed, the life you'd given him. He guided you back to the cot beside your daughter, tucking both of you in and pressing a soft kiss to your foreheads.

"Hey, sweetheart. I'm here," were the last words you heard before soaring serenely off the cliff of consciousness. 

[storm-angel989]

🎀IM SORRY FOR BLOWING UP YOUR INBOX! But Val/Vox(idrc which one) x Anorexic Daughter Reader?🎀

PLEASE READ BEFOREHAND

Hi Friend,

You’re not blowing up my inbox- I keep every request in a google doc and when inspo hits I work on it! If I ever decide I won’t do a request I won’t just delete it- I’ll post and say it directly <3 

Preface for this work:

 I’m considered a plus sized equestrian/plus sized human. Eating disorders come in all shapes, sizes and issues. I believe it’s Blythe Barid who said “If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story.”

Stories like these are based on my own experiences and issues- and on this topic, I’ve had quite a few. Please remember that all bodies are worthy of love and respect, care and concern. It's a tough concept to wrap our heads around, and admittedly I still struggle with it. 

A little background info: 

ED’s are a huge part of my writing that I haven’t published. Ana and Mia are characters I have created (or maybe my own food issues created them). Either way, they’re  separate entities for separate stories- demons that I imagine have their own place in hell as well as in my writings (all of which have been in existence far longer than Hazbin). That being said, naming your ED is something I did and I have done. Even for the purpose of writing this story, the entire thing felt wrong without Ana running the behind the scenes. 

With this one I tried to pain the pain, the anger and frustration behind that never feeling good enough feeling. I would be open to doing part two if folks would be interested. Please also know I’ve written on this topic in several other forms if you explore my masterlist (or I can directly send you the links if you PM me). 

<3 Mandy 

I stepped on the bathroom scale and looked at the number that flashed below. The words of my coach echoed in my mind- I needed to lose the summer weight, or else I would be benched for the rest of the season. She had helpfully provided me with a journal to keep track of my weight, what I ate in a day, activities I did and how many calories I burned in accordance with my VoxTech watch. 

A month ago, I had met her goal, thus ending the weekly weigh-ins. According to her, I had lost enough weight to maintain my place on the team. It was on me now to make sure that I maintained that weight, or lost more. In her exact words, you could never be too skinny. 

“Bebita? Breakfast,” my fathers voice called from the hallway. “Come on, before it gets cold.”

The number told me I hadn’t gained weight, but I hadn’t lost weight either. I picked my backpack up and slung it over my shoulder. 

“Sorry, Dad! I’m late! I’ll eat at school, I promise,” I answered back as I rushed out the door. 

Surely skipping breakfast wouldn’t hurt. 

Skipping breakfast turned into skipping lunch. Skipping lunch turned into avoiding dinner. Sugar free jello and skinny pop became my go to snacks as the numbers in my book slowly but surely began to get smaller. Somewhere, a little voice inside my head began to cheer my successes on the scale. Over time, I learned that she had a name. 

Ana. My secret diet partner. My invisible cheerleader. The willpower I needed to keep going on the hardest days. And most importantly, someone who paid attention to me, 

With each passing day, Ana grew louder. She encouraged me to keep my diet a secret from my family. After all, they wouldn’t understand. Pleasing her, it became almost like an addiction- a game I played with myself to see just how little I could become. Food became nothing more than numbers, an obsession that consumed every minute, every second of my thoughts and desires. 

In my household, it wasn’t hard to keep it to myself. Hell, one could argue that I wasn’t technically even keeping it a secret. My father had a very important job, after all. And my Auntie Velvette and Uncle Vox also wouldn’t have had the opportunity to make the connection. A quick, I ate earlier, sorry! And I got off scott free. Ana cheered with each no thank you I uttered. My head between my knees after practice had become a ritualistic practice. Waiting for the black spots to fade, taking deep breaths to try to regain the energy to stand up and walk out to the awaiting limo. It wasn’t like there was anyone waiting at home for me anyway. 

On the daily, I kept a careful eye on my voxtech watch. The first time my blood sugar dropped, I got a call from Vox. Paniced waves rushed through me. A suggestion from Ana to bribe to a friendly tech demon. A brief trade later, I had constant vitals being sent from my watch, my real ones hidden behind a password. With this newfound freedom, outside of homework and practice, my time normally devoted to hobbies or hanging out with friends became time to sleep. After all, I was working on the perfect body. I needed my rest. 

For almost six months, Ana and I were best friends. 

Saturday morning. Game day. One of the busiest days for my father. After all, lust and depravity raked through the weekends like wildfire. Or at least, that was what he claimed. I stood in front of the mirror trying desperately to tighten the drawstring 

“Hey bebita?” I heard my fathers voice call from the hallway. “Baby, are you up?”

“Yeah, Dad. I have a game today,” I snapped as I tied another knot in the string. 

Why the fuck wouldn’t these stupid shorts stay up? I fumed to myself. Every part of my body ached, and even yanking on my shorts sent black spots and exhaustion rushing through my body. I leaned my head against the mirror and tried to take a deep breath. I could do this. I had to do this. 

The next thing I heard was my fathers voice, felt his hand shaking my shoulder. It took every ounce of energy to open my eyes. 

“Bebita? Reader, can you hear me?” Valentino asked frantically. “Princessa, wake up, now!”

“I’m fine,” I muttered as loudly as I could. Somehow, I managed to push myself upright. 

“You most certainly are not fine,” he replied sharply. “I’m taking you downstairs to the doctor, right now.”

Doctor. That meant I would miss the game. No, I had an obligation to my teammates. Somewhere in my head, Ana screamed.

Get up, fatass!

You really want to fuck this up for everyone?

You better not let him take you to the doctor, you do that and you’ll never find perfection. 

“I’m fine,” I growled, louder this time. I pulled myself to my feet and black spots dotted my vision. I felt my fathers arms around me and in seconds, I was off the floor and in his arms.

“Put me down, I can walk,” I tried to yell. Inside my head, Ana screamed louder, demands and insults about my current predicament. I pressed my hands to my head and curled my fingers in my hair, “Dad let me down NOW!” 

He ignored me as he carried me down the hallway. 

“Vox? Velvette? Both of you, with me. Now. We have a problem.” He said loudly. 

“Woah, what’s going….” Vox’s voice began. 

I shoved my hand against my father as he walked through the living room.  To my relief, he set me down on the couch. 

“What?” I snarled as three sets of eyes stared at me. “What the fuck are you looking at?” 

Vox checked his phone and then walked over to me. With one finger, he lifted off my Voxtech watch. 

“Hey! Give that back!” I demanded. “I’m going to be late to my game!”

All three of them ignored me. Wordlessly, Velvette walked away and returned moments later, bathroom scale in hand. She set it infront of the couch and gave me a hard look. 

“Step on.” 

“Fuck you,” I snapped as I stood up. I tried to ignore the black spots that danced just out of sight. “My weight is none of your fucking business.”

“Reader!” Valentino said in dismay. “That’s no way to talk to your Aunt.”

“I’m leaving, I’m already late. Thanks, Dad,” I continued sarcastically as I kicked the scale aside. 

Inside, Ana cheered. I bent down to pick up my backpack and the world around me spun. Three steps,  and Vox’s hand gripped my upper arm. The last thing I heard was Ana’s voice screaming indistinguishable words. 

When I came to again, I found myself in a room of gray and blue. Wires stuck out from my chest, and I tried to cough and spit the feeling of something painful in the back of my throat. I tried to reach up, to shove my fingers down my throat, and my skin met padded white cuffs. 

What the fuck?

You’re going to have to work hard to get yourself out of this one, Ana taunted. Great job getting caught, fatass. 

“Hey, baby, it’s alright, Papi is here,” I heard my father’s voice say somewhere far away. 

“Mr. Valentino, I promise we’ll be in touch when she’s more stable,” a new voice said. “For now, it might be best to give her some space to…”

Indistinguishable arguments. My fathers refusal and reminder of who exactly was in charge here. My Uncle Vox and Aunt Velvette chiming in, a mix of talking him down and agreement. 

Panic shot through me as the haze slowly began to wear away. Realization. Through the fog, only one word came to mind. 

Fuck.

[amynchan]

I'm going to reblog this sometime in August, but I need American College Freshmen to know this:

*cups your face gently* Do Not Take 5-6 classes for your first college semester. This is Not high school. Classes are counted differently here.

Each class has a specified number of units. Most classes are 3 units, some electives are 1 unit, and some classes with a required lab component are 4-5 units, depending on the college and the class itself. If it helps, think of those units like intensity levels.

In college, a full load is 12 units. Twelve. Let me break it down a bit.

A full load means that college should be on-par, time and effort-wise, as a full-time job. That's probably why some of the higher tiers of financial aid require full load; these guys have very little time for extra income to help them get through. A full load can be tough, and you should only go above it if you are absolutely determined to make it through in as few semesters as possible and if you are willing to sacrifice the extra time, mental work, and emotional stamina to get there. A full load should allow students to also participate in extracurriculars, but it is still tough, and you should not go above full load if you are in a sport or a club. No, it's not extra padding "in case you fail a class." No, it's not a security blanket or something to lean on. It is a disaster waiting to happen. You will burn out.

12 units means that the number of units for all classes in one semester should add up to 12. Here are some examples:

Let's say I take a science with a lab like biology (4 units), a mathematics course (3 units), a choir course (1 unit), an intro to college course (1 unit), and a speech class (3 units). 4+3+1+1+3=12 That's 5 classes to get 12 units, but that's because I took two 1 unit courses.

Let's say I take an introduction to art class (3 units), a government class (3 units), an English class (3 units), and a mathematics class (3 units). 3+3+3+3=12 That's 4 classes for 12 units, and that's more common.

Summer course loads are smaller, I believe, so check with your college if you wanted to try taking a summer course to try and get used to the type of work college will be expecting of you. A warning, though: summer classes are really fast and can be hard. I dropped my first one, and there is No Shame in it. It helped me figure out the culture difference between high school and college Real Quick.

Why am I saying all of this? Because I am seeing this pattern in the freshmen that I have in my classes. The ones I have to drop are the ones with 5, 6, 7 classes all at once (a lot of times even while playing a sport! wtf????), and in spreading themselves thin across those classes AND a sport as well, they are failing at everything, including their own health. Guys, I am a teacher, not a torture dungeon master. I want you guys to get your degree and thrive, and you cannot do that if you are working yourself to death.

For my college freshmen just coming out of high school, not knowing any better, still used to having to take 6 classes every year of high school and thinking 6 is gonna be typical or 5 will be a load off, it is not what you think. Please, I am begging you. Look at your load and lighten it if necessary. As you get the hang of college, maybe you can add more on, and maybe you can rub it in my face of "nyeh-nyeh, you were wrong!" Sure, go for it afterwards! But I'm begging you to not burn yourself out.

First semester. 12 units only if you want a full load. Test yourself first with this type of load. Do your best, but don't burn out.

(also, if any first gen students want college tips, tricks, and hacks, I will straight up give them to you for free.)

[therealmofstarwars]

hey! I’ve seen a few posts about your server & it seems like an interesting idea! but I think your expectations/tone may be putting people off.. i know for me, I like a server where I can come and go based on my time & interest, and a lot of servers im in have dozens of members with a much smaller core active group. I can see how that’s frustrating as a mod! but your posts would make me nervous to join the server because it sounds like high expectations for creative output. & ultimately fandom is a hobby, that i do when it’s fun & when inspiration strikes, which sadly i cannot control. I can only speak to my own thoughts & experience of course!! but I wonder if others are feeling similar & so you’re ending up with low engagement :((

I understand perfectly thank for sharing your side of story you need to understand why I am pissed off why my tone and expectations is like that but you need to understand it just really annoying from my side of story just trying to get along with people who change their mind leave last minute without communicating sabotage plans for server which is rude I am doing with same problem for last 8 months one years it fucking annoying I am not putting people off I am just finally venting that all is really I am Aries I am very passionate my personality is like Anakin I have no regrets I can’t take this shit anymore I am fed up . It stressful I am recovering from college burnout my patience is thin I am exhausted I try to patient a good sport I finally had enough in general the mask just slipping

For this summer I just want to relax and write as fun hobby collab with others for fun

That what my server is I am a hothead when I vent I just let it out writing is art form I have no regrets

Sorry my tone come up like that and drive you away just know we are all humans with on and off days

I am finally venting it fucking annoying I am tired with this shit to the point I am thinking of disbanding my server and writing group chat all together just join fandom writing support group

I am done pleasing others fix in box as young adult you have zero fucks to give at this point

I try to be patient it really annoying. 😒

I am pissed off tired had a lack of sleep I finally vent

I am a writer I am tired of being a motherfucking saint. I am over it. I being my true self.

Fanfic is fun hobby I am a only mod in dead server also in a dead SPN writing group

When I try to collab everyone is offline my reaction privately 😒 believe me I am friendly try to communicate others just keep wasting my time

I am trying not to give up it just so annoying

It so annoying. It pissed me off. I am a perfectionist type A so I finally vent because I am writer it catharsis.

I don’t regret finally venting

It really annoying

I don’t care if my posts are passive aggressive I just finally had enough.

No I will not give up. Just understand where I am coming from.

Have a great day.

Aries do not sugarcoat they tell how it is. I am an Aries a passionate and leader sign.

I been patient for a year I am over it. Done being a motherfucking saint. I just want a break and go to spa.

Now I trust the universe go with the flow.

Have a great day.

Thank for being honest Guest I just need to vent.

I am glad we trust each other to be honest.

Just know I am not changing my post tone

I am done pleasing others I am go with my guts trust in the universe

Stay safe guest 💜✨💫

[bonesandthebees]

FINALLY CAUGHT UP ON ROSE AFTER FALLING BEHIND IN THE SUMMER YAY

im really enjoying tnt duo AND NIKI AND PUFFY👀👀 its great

the rainduo fall out was bound to happen, we knew it, but somehow this coldness and quiet and uncertainty between them hurts so much more than any anger could

its the fact that what split them was just slow distancing and loss of trust and the one wilburs lie that they both knew was a lie but didnt acknowledge, like it was never really said out loud, just shown through smaller things like having lessons apart

schlatts assassination in reaction to crimeboys attack and wilburs injury is very based, phil is protective and spiteful af and i love that for him

everything going amazing on the crimeboys front, the bonding definitely got much deeper after that assassination

and the dynamic going on dhdhdhhdhdh like wilbur is attached to tommy, but hes also under phils tutoring and so hes working on securing his place, manipulative even on tommy, you can see he sees the world through a different lense, hes grown a lot in that sense in the three years

theres a thin line between wilbur caring for tommy and manipulating him bc hes kinda doing that to help him secure the throne but also its still manipulation and its just so DELICIOUS to read, im obsessed

also his cane, rhdhhdhdhdjdjdh, just the fact that he has a cane changes the image of him in my mind and i love it sm

the forever reminder of his and tommys fates getting tied together

its really cool that it feels quite balanced, like im kinda inclined to think that tommy will get the throne just bc wilbur is our pov, but its still feels like everyone has a chance (well not quackity rn, but that doesnt mean he still cant win and for it to work)

like i know you, i know its not gonna be that simple

but its also not like im rooting for just one side, they are all kids who have been uprooted for the chance to be a ruler, but there will still be two left with nothing at the end of this (that is assuming no one gets killed which i wouldnt rule out too)

aaaand thats all the thoughts i have now that i didnt put in the comments (wanna bet that im gonna remember three more things as soon as i send this?)

i hope you kick the sicknesses ass soon and are enjoying arcane, happy and calm holidays bones

EILEEN HELLO I'm finally getting to this <33

it's funny I actually wasn't planning on making the puffychu as explicitly romantic until I was writing that scene and then I was like fuck it why not. like it was going to be implied no matter what but I wasn't planning on directly pointing it out that's just kind of how the scene went and I'm very happy with it because I think the tntduo dialogue there is so fun

godddd writing rainduo like that hurt so badly. writing them as being so unfamiliar and cold with each other compared to just a few chapters ago when they were so close- ouch. my heart.

you do not fuck with phil or his kid that's the lesson to be learned here. like there were probably more reasonable options besides outright killing schlatt but. phil was pissed lmao.

i'm sooo glad you're liking the crimeboys dynamic it's such a fun one for me to balance. because they're so brotherly now and wilbur does genuinely care for tommy but he's also so outright manipulative and it's a bit chilling to write sometimes. and while logically wilbur knows this isn't 'right', a part of him is desensitized to treating tommy like this because of how he's been raised. it's what's expected of him and how he was taught to interact with people thanks to phil.

very glad you like the cane addition :D I'm trying hard to balance making sure it's not just disregarded/forgotten about in a scene and using it as a way of showing wilbur's emotions in any given moment. but also wilbur is our main pov, the fact that he's a cane user is only one part of who he is as a character so I don't want it to seem like I'm mentioning it too much. it's just a balance I'm trying my best to strike.

I'm so glad the battle for the throne feels balanced! I really want to emphasize how niki (and quackity as well, to an extent) are both far better suited for the throne, but neither of them have the backing that tommy has being supported by the consil, the keeper of knowledge, and the consil's son. it really evens out the playing field.

but yeah, the tragedy is that none of them should've been put in this position in the first place. sam should've been man enough to choose an heir when they were a child (tbh he should've just chosen niki outright the only reason he didn't was out of obstinance) so now he's got these young people ruining their relationships and struggling to play political games because of it.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter!!!

[shakespearefreak]

The Addy doll shown in my last post is my childhood Addy. A few years ago, my mother and stepfather moved to a smaller house, and held an auction for all the stuff they didn’t have space to store anymore. I went through my AG dolls (Molly, Kirsten, Josefina, and Addy) and all their stuff, deciding what to keep and what to sell. I still have Josefina; I auctioned off Kirsten, whose hair was extremely thin and messy at that point; and I decided to sell Molly and Addy online later, as I knew they go for more. I’m not the biggest Molly fan, but the thought of selling Addy tugged at my heart a little; however, I thought someone else would be able to give her more love and attention than me, and I didn’t want to be selfish and keep her just to keep her. So I dressed her carefully, put her hair up in a bun, hugged her tight and promised she’d go to someone who would take good care of her, and put her away in a box under my bed. I posted her on Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist, but no one bit, so I’ve only taken her out twice since then: for the 2022 post with her and Makena I mentioned before, and for this one I just made.

While I was taking the photos of Addy for that last post, I began to feel super close to her again. I tried to tell myself I didn’t need her, that I barely have room for the dolls I have… but then I caught myself double-knotting her shoelaces. The reason that’s important is this: my cat, Spork 🐱, is very rambunctious and likes messing with my dolls. One of the things he’ll do is grab their shoelaces in his teeth and try to untie them, so I always double-knot all my dolls’ shoes and hair ribbons, etc. When I saw I was double-knotting Addy’s laces, I realized that I’d already lost the battle: she was staying.

The frustrating thing is that I already sold all her clothes at the auction! 😤 Furthermore, I realized when browsing Mercari and eBay to get them back that someone got some VERY good deals. I had her Pleasant Company rope bed, her limited edition stilting outfit, and her summer dress complete with the berry pin, and they went for such a small amount that I’m ashamed to tell y’all how much. 😓 I did my best to research how to price everything properly back then, but I was new to this whole thing and I really had no idea.

Anyways, while I'm working on getting back her books and finding her some clothes again, I did restring her cowrie shell necklace (I don’t think it was ever the official version, in hindsight; it has a metal loop hot-glued to it for the cord, rather than a hole drilled into it), removed a shine mark on her nose with a magic eraser, and, after some consideration, took a steam cleaner to her hair — it’s still definitely textured, but far less frizzy than it was (check out the 2022 post to see the "Before"). I also learned how to do her braided bun properly (before I’d just put it in a regular braid down her back and pinned it up with bobby pins) and gave her a new blue hair ribbon. One of her eyes has a tiny bit of silvereye, the smallest bit of wig “scalp” shows near her hairline from certain angles, and she has a tiny scuff on her cheek, but otherwise she’s in fantastic condition. As mad as I am at myself for selling her clothes, at least I didn’t make the big mistake of letting her go, too. ❤️‍🩹

[esta-elavaris]

Weight loss // body image issues talk/vent under the cut

Does make me laugh that when my meds made me go from my skinniest to my all time heaviest over the course of months a good few years ago, it was all my relatives could ever talk about - out of “concern”.

Now I’ve lost almost 50 lbs, just a little left to go before I hit my goal, and none of them have any interest in discussing my weight anymore. Not even from a concern standpoint, but like, they completely pretend to not notice the loss. Decent relatives will bring it up and compliment me and the relatives who were so judgemental in the beginning act stunned at the comment and pretend they’ve never noticed or that it’s not true and I haven’t lost anything. The most they ever do is get very very angry when I say I don’t want takeout or chocolate or whatever when offered.

One even tried to force a relative to buy clothing several sizes too big for me when they were Christmas shopping together, because she insisted there’s no way I’d be able to fit into the size of clothing that I currently actually AM. This same relative always does this - over summer she gave me a skirt because “it’s just miles and miles too big for me” and wouldn’t believe me UNTIL I SHOWED HER that it also was far too big for me, too. I’m talking it literally fell off of my body. When she gave me it, I literally held it up and my brother, who knows nothing about women’s clothing, laughed and said “there’s no way that’s going to fit her”. That’s how obvious it was and that’s how strange her weird little mind games are.

I mean, I’m not doing it for head pats, it’s entirely health and confidence based, but it’s genuinely as if they got off on seeing me get heavier (the worst thing anybody can be, in their eyes…while also not being healthy themselves) and gossiping about it, and now I’m not anymore it’s a disappointment.

Strange, strange people. And this started in my childhood. I have vivid memories of crying while school clothes shopping with this aunt at 8 years old because she made me try on every pair of trousers in the shop before deciding none of them would work because none of them made my ass look smaller. She’s mentally unwell. But I mean I also have a cousin who is very very thin and she gives her absolute abuse for that too, to the point where it develops into explosive arguments, so she’s just obsessed with making the younger female generation in the family feel like shit about their bodies.

It just got worse after the gain. It’s no wonder decent body image is such a battle for me 🫠 - and also the BIG fear I have with meeting up with this one guy I’ve been talking to for months, even tho he’s seen a full body outfit photo of me and loved it. Fucksake man.

[whatavery]

Camp Colvin (Comm.)

Here's a little comm. I wrote for @akilleanchameleon featuring his OC Cole and Calvin (AKA Freckle) going on a little camping trip. I had fun with this one, I thought it was a very cute idea! Hope y'all enjoy it!

-----

As the car came to a halt off the side of the dirt road, the shifting of the tires kicked up a small cloud of dust. Once the car finally came to a complete standstill, Cole turned to smile at the ginger tabby by his side. “Well… here we are. Last chance to back out now, Cals.”

Calvin had his hands together in his lap, having been mostly quiet for the duration of the car ride. The orange tabby’s yellow eyes met Cole's, before he cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t head back if you paid me.”

Grinning Cole gently patted the other cat’s shoulder, before he opened the left-side door and got out. Once the two of them stood outside, Cole cast a glance around. Sweeping hills surrounded them, the grass out here coming up to their knees. A path ahead led up to a forested area, many of the trees with their lush canopies situated on higher elevation up on the hills. The sky was darkening noticeably, but the sun didn’t seem like it was going to fully set for another hour at least.

It was so quiet out here, so far from the noise of the city; the familiar sound of footsteps on sidewalks, of cars rolling along the cobbled roads, people talking. It was so peaceful out here…

Cole was lightly clad, given the warm summer weather that didn’t seem like it was going to change anytime soon; over his button up shirt, he wore a thin, brown jacket, alongside a pair of blue denim pants and a pair of hiking boots. Calvin had likewise taken to wearing a pair of brown pants and a dark gray sweatshirt – attire that would keep him warm as it would soon get dark, but not too warm. He also wore a pair of large, sturdy-looking boots that dug into the dusty ground as the two made their way to the backseat of the car. Inside, they each pulled out a large rucksack and put it on. The two of them had been planning this particular trip for a while now, and finally time had allowed for it. They planned on staying out here together for a few days.

“Alright, you ready? Sure you don’t want me to carry that for you?” Cole asked as he closed the car door, offering the shorter cat a smile.

“Oh, yeah… It’s fine, I can handle it,” the smaller cat replied, face mostly neutral as Cole locked down the car. Cole nodded and smiled pleasantly. He knew not to underestimate Calvin; he may look like a small, unassuming fella, but Calvin had surprised Cole before in several ways. He was stronger than he looked, and not just physically.

When they first met, Cole had thought Calvin had initially seemed like the kind of man who might break down from being spoken to in a harsh tone. Cole had later come to realize that this was how others may initially see his lover, but he knew that Calvin was special. Small, often quiet and reserved, and polite to boot, Calvin had caught Cole's notice quickly. What they had now was… certainly unorthodox, they both knew that, but they were both perfectly happy.

When the calico offered a hand to Calvin, the smaller cat took it, grasping it firmly, as if his life depended on it. That was one of the traits Cole liked; even if Calvin might not often use his words, his actions were often times more telling of what he thought, what he felt. Cole gave his hand a squeeze and walked with him.

Leaving the black vehicle behind, the two walked along the path together, tall grass on their sides. They'd packed plenty of things for camping and Cole had most certainly made sure they had more than enough food. He'd most certainly brought everything necessary to cook as well, even if it wouldn't be quite as elaborate and fine as the food he'd normally have made Calvin, had they been somewhere with a kitchen.

Climbing the gently sloping hill, Cole glanced sideways at Calvin. Even without him saying a word, he could tell Calvin had a lot on his mind. “So, what did you tell your ma then?”

The calico’s tone was gentle, and yet Calvin gave a slight start. Their eyes met, but Calvin averted his gaze quickly. Cole had learned that Calvin often did that – not out of disinterest or rudeness, but just a natural habit he had.

“Oh… I- uh… I just told her I was going camping – that’s all,” Calvin responded, his grip on the taller cat’s hand still as firm as ever. “With a friend…”

When Cole chuckled, Calvin's rounded ears laying back in a somewhat embarrassed display. Cole gave his hand a squeeze. He of course knew why he’d told her that specifically. Nina McMurray was many things, as far as Cole knew. He knew she was a woman of faith, and he knew she would likely have a cow over her son seeing another man in the way he did. At least if what Cole had heard about her was to be believed.

Cole hadn't yet met her, mainly because neither of them was quite sure how to go about such an introduction. This wasn't a normal case of bringing a significant other home to meet one’s parents, after all. Looking sideways, Cole couldn’t help but smile, remembering how guilty Calvin had felt about his feelings. Making Calvin come around to see that they were just a couple like any other had taken time, but all Cole wanted was to make the tabby happy.

Once the two made it to their designated campsite, the sky had already gotten considerably darker. Soon, bats could be seen flying overhead and already fireflies were coming out, hovering around the woods like floating Christmas lights. It was a small clearing near a large lake, the dark water still, safe for when the occasional summer breeze created ripples on the surface

“Cole?” Calvin gave his hand another squeeze to get his attention. Instead of saying another word, Calvin shifted his hand till their fingers were interlocked, their palms firmly pressed together. Taken by surprise, Cole blushed quite a bit, but being initially flustered didn’t stop him from grinning like an idiot.

Once they came to the center of the clearing, they did need to let go of each other’s hands, however, in order to remove their backpacks. Each was stuffed full of everything they’d brought. Cole had barely put his rucksack down before a pair of short, yet surprisingly firm arms locked themselves around him in a bear hug, pinning his own arms to his sides.

“Calvin…” Cole chuckled, going red in the face under his tri-colored fur. The hug didn’t last forever, but they both savored it, before they set about being at least a little productive as it got darker. Setting up a campfire was easy enough; there was plenty of wood around they could use to fuel the flames. Cole couldn’t help but smile once the fire took hold and illuminated the area; Calvin appeared to positively glow, given his orange fur – at times he almost looked like he may have caught on fire, though Cole hoped he wouldn't have to throw him into the nearby lake. With the trees around them, the last of the daylight was mostly blocked out, but above the clearing they could still see the darkening sky taking on a more purplish hue.

Setting up a tent in the darker lighting conditions wasn't ideal, but the two of them made do – if there was one thing Calvin could do, it was hammering and he made sure the pegs that held the ropes in place weren't going anywhere. The tent was an old one, which had clearly seen its share of wear and tear over the years, a testament to how strong it was. It seemed like it would still keep out water if it started raining.

Though dinner wasn't the grandest of feasts, it was still nice to just sit with Calvin, roasting bread, sausages and even cooking beans over the fire. The scent of food also added to the coziness. Though he'd initially seated himself opposite to Cole, Calvin eventually moved to sit beside him, the two of them sharing a log for a natural seating arrangement. They had dug it slightly into the ground, so it wouldn't be wobbly.

Calvin rested his fuzzy head on Cole's left shoulder, while they each enjoyed their little campfire dinner in mostly silence. Occasionally, Cole would break the silence, telling Calvin about this and that. He knew Calvin didn’t enjoy talking about his own work, but Cole didn’t mind talking about his. It was how things worked for them and Cole wouldn’t want it any other way.

Though dinner wasn't the most exciting, once they’d eaten, Cole took to trying to entertain Calvin the best he could. Stories and songs with funny words seemed to do it. Cole wasn't sure if it was his singing or the words that made Calvin chuckle, but regardless he wasn't going to complain. Calvin's laugh was small and soft, but it was one of Cole's favorite sounds in the world.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Cole exclaimed as he put more wood into the fire, stirring up the embers as he did. “I discovered something new we could try.”

“Uh… And what’s that?” Calvin wondered aloud, sounding nervous, but Cole knew he would enjoy it. From his own rucksack, he produced a couple of things; chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers. Calvin eyed the ingredients curiously, before looking up into Cole's eyes, which seemed to gleam in the firelight.

“Just watch,” Cole said excitedly. Of course, roasting marshmallows on a thick, sharpened stick was nothing new, but it was what Cole did with it afterwards that he was excited for; placing the marshmallow on top of a piece of chocolate between two crackers. “It’s called Some More.”

“Some More? Some more what?” Calvin asked, though he seemed quite curious. Cole let him have the first one as he set about making another.

“Beats me! I saw it in a book, but I’ve never heard of ‘em before,” Cole said pleasant as he watched his lover sampling the treat. “How is it? Any good?”

“Yeah, I like it. It’s sweet – like you,” the smaller cat said. Though their fur hid both their blushes, the firelight made their cheeks appear a warm orange regardless. Leaning on over, Cole placed a kiss on Calvin's nose, which almost made him drop his Some More. “I… I think Cole’s a much better name than Some More, though…”

“Aw, look who’s being sweet, Cal,” Cole said, his own cheeks feeling so warm. As they sat together and enjoyed their Some Mores, they held hands as the sounds of the night’s critters sounding all around them. At this very moment in time, there was nowhere else Cole would rather be; as far as he was concerned, nothing else existed beyond the threshold that was the clearing itself; the world was reduced to their little space here, and nothing else mattered.

By the time the two of them dressed down to just their pants and undershirts, and climbed into the tent, it was completely dark out. Their bedrolls were comfortable enough, despite them not being the most ideal of surfaces to sleep on, but they were certainly better than the cold, hard ground. A flashlight helped illuminate the tent once it was closed. The fire was out, reduced to embers and so the only light in the clearing came from their tent. Laying on their backs side by side, they looked up at the roof, nocturnal insects congregating on the outside where the flashlight shone through the tent.

“This used to be my father’s,” Calvin said suddenly. Cole turned his head to look at him curiously. Calvin smiled. “He took me camping a few times, before-… He would’ve liked you, I think.”

“I'm glad. I’ll make sure to take you camping more often – and give you lots of love too,” Cole said warmly, reaching over to stroke Calvin’s cheek. Putting out the flashlight, Cole felt Calvin shifting by his side, before he pulled him close. Cole held onto the tabby protectively, listening to his breathing, feeling his heartbeat. In the dark, their lips met in a gentle, slow kiss. Out here in the dark, no one could judge them or their love. “I love you, Calvin. I’m so lucky to have you in my life, you know…”

[sigyn-foxyposts]

The lokissons twins head cannons!

Vali 🐺

Vali's birth name is actually Nari because Loki thought it was cute making the twins have matching names.

Not only do they sound similar but Loki thought it was fun to reference how some twins look when born: one big the other small.

Nari's name. means "feeder/nourisher"

Vali's name is unknown, but it could have something to do with valley's.

Nari likes going by Vali or Val instead of his birth name. He doesn't hate his actual name, but he just prefers it more.

Odin actually took and used Vali's name for his own son. Intentionally causing confusion between the two and wanting Vali to be forgotten when punishing loki.

Odin thought it was stupid to let Vali use another name when he was already given one. Loki did not appreciate this.

Relationships!

The other kids in Asgard like calling him Ali out of innocent fun.

Because Vali never understands who they're talking about until they tell him it. Vali finds this as annoying as it is funny.

Vali really looks up to Loki and is definitely a daddy's boy. Their chaotic nature match up after all.

He thinks Loki is super cool in whatever he is doing, even if it gives everyone else second hand embarrassment.

He also looks up to fenrir for pretty much the same reasons. I mean what isn't cool about having a giant wolf as your older brother?

Vali and Thrud are best friends, not just because their fathers are, but because they genuinely get along.

Their shared interests are: play fighting, playing make believe, exploring and collecting rocks.

Likes and dislikes:

🟢Forests, Mountains, the colors blue and green, being read/told stories, open spaces, jumping in puddles, the rain, His family, Magni because he looks out for him and Narfi, protecting others & Narfi, doing very dangerous stunts, drawing on anything, climbing on everything, wolves/dogs, bears, snakes, playing hide and seek.

🔴 Rules, Closed spaces, mud or clay, Modi because he's mean to him and Narfi, getting in trouble, being blamed for something (even if it is his fault, seeing someone get hurt/cry, heights, bugs.

Narfi 🦊

Narfi means "narrow or difficult birth"

Since Vali doesn't really use Nari as his name anymore, Narfi uses it as a nickname because he has an attachment to the name.

If it wasn't obvious, Narfi was the smaller twin out of the two and like his name suggests he came into the world with a few difficulties.

He looks very pale and sickly, he is smaller and thin in comparson with Vali and has health problems.

He tends to get sick very easily during winters too.

This is probably why he is so careful in nature compared to Vali. Who unlike him doesn't have much health problems and is a Daredevil.

Relationships!

Narfi looks up to Sigyn more than anyone else because she has always been there to care and protect him.

He knows whatever she is doing is always to make sure he is okay, which is very comforting to him.

They have a very close bond, which makes Narfi quite the Mama's boy.

Narfi also really likes Hel and Sleipnir, both being very calm and collected people.

Though he mostly favors Hel because they've gotten to bond more with her. This is because Sleipnir isn't much around.

Narfi doesn't really socialize with anyone but his family, when he does though he prefers people such as Njord, Forseti, Idunn or Bragi.

They tend to have a lot in common, especially with Forseti.

But because Loki isn't very fond of Baldr's family whenever Loki sees Narfi hanging out with Forseti he makes the hard decision of stepping in and taking his kid out of there.

Likes and dislikes:

🟢 The color yellow and brown, reading or being read to, snuggling with Sigyn or his siblings, making flower crowns, riding on his families backs, quiet environments, being around Vali, Sigyn or Hel, Summer & autumn, listening to bragi's poems or music, drawing and writing, foxes, deers, cats.

🔴Loki's behavior, being told he looks like Loki, listening to Loki's rules, winter, being sick, slipping on ice, Skadi for winter alone, Modi because he picks on him and Vali, being scared/crying easily, being around too many people, social situations, loud noisy places, mud or clay, playing hide and seek because Loki always wins.

[balioc]

I am a newer LARPer and I have attended a couple of blockbuster games, but I'd love to get more into the theatrical LARPing community. Do you have any recommendations for theatrical games planned in the coming year that might be looking for a motivated and interested player? I live in Oregon, but would happily travel for the right game. My ideal would be a weekend or multi-day event with lots of narrative intrigue, but I'm flexible on setting and playercount. Thank you for any help!

Mrgle.

So -- real weekendlong litform theater-style LARPs are pretty thin on the ground, these days. Standards for writing and design have gotten high enough that a weekendlong is just immensely hard to write. My own extended LARPing circle has generated three such games within the last few years, and that was after a very long period when there just weren't any coming out; the one I wrote took the better part of a year to create, for three serious and experienced authors. Organizing and running them, once they're written, is also very difficult and expensive.

(The blockbuster games of which I'm aware tend to be a somewhat different kind of thing -- to my mind, a worse kind of thing -- in that they are generally much less prewritten and much less narratively-integrated.)

Point being, if I become aware of an upcoming weekendlong run, I'll point you in its direction. But (a) right now I'm not aware of any, and (b) anything of which I am aware will probably be in the Northeast.

-------------

If "multi-day event" includes "opportunity to play a bunch of smaller games in a row," that's much easier. You should go to a theater LARP con; that's precisely what they are. And the Northeast has a bunch of those.

Unfortunately, your timing here is poor. The big-ticket event, the five-hundred-pound gorilla of theater LARP cons, is Intercon; the 2024 Intercon is this coming weekend, so, uh, not a lot of time to jump on that one (plus most of the games are full). The other LARP con I frequently attend is Dice Bubble at RPI, which is also coming up very soon (end of March). If the travel difficulties aren't too burdensome for you, you might consider checking out Summer LARPin' (July in Boxborough, MA).

-------------

I do know some Bay Area LARPers, and if they have any big events that are looking for people, I'll get you in touch with them.

[paledoptera]

Glad you liked the snowberry clearwing suggestion! Big flashy ones like a lot of saturniids are somewhat hard to come by here (one of the more notable instances I've been able to find is the time someone found a cecropia cocoon in the woods and it ended up on the news because nobody who saw it initially knew what it Was lmao), so we've got a lot of smaller, less distinct (or at least less well known) ones - That clearwing is probably the most unique of them, but there's some others that are relatively notable, I think!

We've got a few sphinx moths - While at the mall this past summer, I had an encounter with a lettered sphinx, namely one with a reddish spot on the back like the one in sighting 1347349 on butterfliesandmoths (dot) org, but I would argue the one that leaves the most impression after the clearwing is the white-lined sphinx! They're another one that's fairly commonly referred to as a hummingbird moth, despite not being closely related to the hummingbird hawk-moth of Eurasia - A lot of sphinx moths around here have similar sizes and flight patterns to hummingbirds and also tend to hover around flowers when feeding, so they're all largely lumped in as "hummingbird moths" by casual observers, but the white-lined sphinx is probably the one most commonly referred to as such.

Outside of the sphinx moths, a REALLY distinct family we have here are the plume moths - They have a frankly bizarre shape to them, with a long, thin body almost more resembling a dragonfly than a moth in shape, and long, thin wings near the front of the body, so that, when at rest, they form an almost T shape. There's a few different species here, but the most common one I've seen is the morning glory plume moth - There's usually one or two hanging out on my front door during the warm months at night! Weird little dudes, they give me robber fly "what the fuck is that??? what IS that?????" vibes.

As far as smaller, less distinct moths go, there's a few here that are better known for their status as caterpillars than the moths themselves - We have both Isabella tiger moths and Virginian tiger moths here, better known as the wooly bear and yellow wooly bear in their larval forms, respectively! There's also the American dagger moth, which has a rather nondescript appearance as an adult, but a very distinct one in its larval form! As caterpillars, they've got a very dark face, and are covered in pretty vivid yellow yellow hairs, with a few black tufts that resemble spikes - There are some reports of skin irritation from their hairs, but they're seemingly non-venomous!

Another moth larvae that causes skin irritation, this time due to their hairs being toxic to humans, is the brown-tail moth! They're not native to the US, but there is a population in New England after they were introduced, and they've been particularly widespread where I live for the past decade - In 2018, the front wall of my then-workplace was absolutely COVERED in the adult moths, which are white with, as the name implies, brown tails (sometimes bordering on reddish). A few of them actually made their way into the building, and I brought them back outside - Interestingly, they lose the toxins in their hairs after they pupate, so adults don't cause a rash the way the caterpillars do! They used to be significantly more widespread through eastern North America, but they've declined for... not-fully-clear reasons, but one theory suggests that their population was suppressed by parasitic fly species introduced to counter ANOTHER introduced moth, the spongy moth (Whose scientific name is lymantria dispar! The name spongy moth is a relatively new one for it, so you may find more documentation using its scientific name than its common one. It was formerly known by another common name, but that name also happens to include a slur, so! I'm gonna make the choice to Not include that here 👍👍👍)! They've got some neat sexual dimorphism going on - In addition to the relatively common antennae size difference, males are a light brownish color, while females are a rather bright white with sort of rippled brown striping on the wings! I personally think the females stand out as more flashy than the males, which is neat to see, as someone who also gets a kick out of birds, where the opposite is often true - Usually in birds males are the ones with the more flashy plumage, or at the very least, females tend to have more spotted or mottled colorations in species with dimorphism, to help keep them more hidden while nesting. Even species with relatively little dimorphism beyond size tend to display this pattern - Common barn owls, for instance, can often be differentiated by spotting on the breast and the color of the feathering around the facial disc, where females tend to have heavier black spotting than males (whose breasts are often white with no spotting at all, though they get speckling occasionally) and also have darker facial disc feathers. (I follow an artist in the UK who has livestreams of the raptors that use the nest boxes in his garden, and he works alongside a rehabber who visits when their hatchlings get old enough - Some of the species he has are hard to differentiate even as adults by visual alone, but for barn owls, those are the standard ways of sexing owlets when they're getting their ID rings. But that's getting a bit off topic lol)

Anyway, the male spongy moths veer a bit in to LBJ territory, to borrow a birding term (LBJ stands for "little brown job" and is sometimes used by birders to refer to those fairly common brown birds that are difficult to distinguish - Trying to tell sparrows apart at a glance, for example), which is where a lot of the other moths here fall into. A lot of them aren't especially distinct, often various browns and greys - I'd say even that lettered sphinx I mentioned at the start probably falls into that territory if you're not as Normal About Bugs And Birds As Me. We do have one seemingly-LBJ moth that stands out off the top of my head, though - Amphipyra pyramidoides, or the copper underwing of the US (a distinct species from the copper underwing of the palaearctic), looks like a pretty unremarkable LBJ when its wings are folded up at rest, but as the name implies, the underwings have a distinct copper color that can be seen with their wings outstretched! Underwing moths have a bunch of species with that trait of colorful lower wings, highly recommend poking through them if you have a chance.

Anyway, that's a bit long, so TLDR: I'm Just A Touch Autistic and had a bit too much time at work with the snow this morning keeping customers away and yelling about moths is how I opted to spend the slow day, I suppose bfnfngmdngndn No pressure to read all of that if you haven't already, or to respond to it, naturally! I just get a kick out of cramming excessive amounts of words about bbugs (and bbirds) through my ISP's wires haha. Thanks again for the moths, and I'm glad to hear you're recovering well! And I gotta say, even if they're intended as a sort of quicker and easier, tiding things over while you're sick solution between the more detailed pieces (which are Very Good, for the record), I also love the ms paint moffs tbh. Iconic.

i don't know who you are anon but i love you thank you for putting an entire ass essay about moths in my inbox i knew about a lot of these species (because i'm a nerd who does a lot of research about shit) but i didn't actually know about plume moths!! they look really cool, def gonna draw them at some point.

they remind me of like, dragon wings or bat wings

[peachyblkdemonslayer]

Wait new AU idea: the Toman guys have to work at Paradise Grill for the summer after losing a bet to Satsumi and it's hell on earth for them

"Man this is bullshit!" Baji hissed as he threw down a towel hard onto the kitchen counter. It was hot way to hot for the boys as they worked in the kitchen and got used to things around the place.

"Yeah he's not lying it blazing in here my god I can't wait to be off Peh-yan whined tugging at his damp collar.

"We wouldn't even be here if yall did your part when it came to the bet" Nahoya chimed in as he passed along with Souya with plastic trays of dirty dishes and pots towards the back where the dishwasher was.

Baji flipped the twins off as he got back to deep cleaning the tables and counters. It was thankful enough a very slow day for Paradise Grill which gave them a bit of down time to talk to each other. Any other day they would be running around like they were chickens with their heads cut off. Mikey and Draken entered the kitchen with bags under their eyes and a drag in their walks as they took a seat.

"Ughhh I'm so tired!! I hate this, this is all your fault Keisuke" Mikey mumbled as he put his head down. Baji chucked a dirty towel at the blonde's head with no time lose between Mikey saying that and his reaction.

"Eww don't throw this greasy shit at me I'm telling the truth!" Mikey growled.

"You shouldn't have taken Satsumi up on her offer! If you didn't we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. I feel like a middle age man with how much I'm working between this and the gang stuff and trying to spend time with Chifuyu I'm getting stretched thin"

Draken chuckled after gulping down half his water in one go, "In Mikey defense all you guys had to do was not cause any problems here for Satsumi and her family. But you just couldn't help but push Mahiru buttons huh?"

Baji flinched choosing to get back to his duties with him mumbling under his breath. Draken wasn't too sure what it was but he had a feeling it was something along the lines of "Fuck off".

Draken rolled his eyes before looking back at the smaller boy across from him who looked like he was a few seconds away from falling asleep. He gave him a few hard nudges to get him to keep his eyes open, Mikey huffed as he brought his head up.

"What is it Ken-chin?" a thick layer of annoyance apparent in his tone. Draken acted as though he couldn't hear it or maybe he just didn't care.

"No sleeping on the job remember Satsumi said she'll dock your pay if you do" he reminded him.

"I fucking hate it here"

"What was that Sano?" a voice said behind the duo.

Everyone in the kitchen jumped out of their skin when they heard the voice and whipped their heads to see who it was. Satsumi stood there in all her shimmered annoyance of them with some bags filled with little things they needed in the kitchen. She raised a bleached brow at the two as if asking them, "What are you doing?"

"Are you guys done with what I asked you to do?"

Draken and Mikey nodded their head, "Yeah just taking a short break is all"

She stood there a few moments longer before giving a nod of her own and walking different into the kitchen. She passed Baji on his knees trying to get some kind of smudge off the stainless steel, she wouldn't tell him that they had tried for years to get rid of it and nothing ever worked.

[kaibutsushidousha]

A Day in Haruki’s Life - Friend-making (Sagrada Reset 4)

[INDEX]

She liked cats more so than she disliked them.

The answer was infinitely close to "neither like nor dislike", but if pressed to answer, she'd tend toward "like" in the slightest way. She knew she would be sad if cats went extinct. That said, she wouldn't even consider the idea of willingly facing hardship for a cat's sake.

It's been five minutes since reached for the cat snuggling at her feet for no reason. The cat swiftly climbed her arm and reached her shoulder. It later tried to go around her neck and slipped. When she felt the cat's claws through her thin blouse, Haruki reflexively bent forward. She thought the cat wouldn't fall to the ground if her back was horizontal.

Her trick worked, the cat lay flat on her back, and since then, neither of them moved. Being on an unstable position with a cat on her back for a long period of time was quite stressful.

Haruki had no way to know if the cat liked her back or if it was just as unable to move was she was. She tried asking it to get down, but it didn't even meow in response.

Her abdominal muscles were in pain, probably from staying too long in an uncomfortable position. She had trouble breathing. While she tried to psych herself up to stand up in one go, she heard a voice.

"What are you doing?"

Haruki softly turned her head to the voice, trying not to break her pose.

A girl sat alone on the very few stone steps of a tiny shrine on the mountain. A very pretty girl with pale skin and long dark hair. She wore her high school uniform in the middle of summer vacations for inexplicable reasons. Her name was Nonoo Seika.

"I'm here to see you.", Haruki answered. It was difficult to project her voice due to her pose.

Nonoo looked at the cat on Haruki's back.

"And how did you get like this?"

"A lot happened while you were asleep."

When Haruki visited the mountain shrine, Nonoo Seika was sleeping. With a cat (not the same cat as the one on Haruki's back, a smaller cat) on her lap. It slept furrowing its brow, unable to sleep well under this heat. 

She tried to put her hand on a cat to pass time until Nonoo woke up, and got in her current position.

"Got it. That's rough."

Nonoo nodded and said "Here." with a gentle voice.

That's all it took for the cat to jump Haruki's back. At the moment, Haruki felt minor pain from the cat's claws digging to her skin before the jump.

Haruki stood up watching the cat hop to Nonoo. She lightly stretched, cracking her spine.

Nonoo ushered in the approaching cat and stroke the curve of its back.

"So, what are you here for?"

Haruki approached Nonoo, following the cat.

"I'm here to become your friend.", she answered.

Nonoo returned her gaze to Haruki, stopped petting the cat's back, and tilted her head.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You could stand to have a few more friends", said Asai Kei three days ago.

Haruki asked "By the way, do you have any recommendations?" and he answered "I guess Nonoo". Therefore, that day, August 11th, Haruki came to the shrine.

Nonoo nodded at the end of the explanation.

"Got it. Reasonable motive."

"On these grounds, could you be my friend?"

"Yeah, fine by me."

(I got done with my objective so swiftly. I imagined making friends took a lot more time. Who could have thought it was that easy?)

"Well, take a seat."

Because of Nonoo's request, Haruki sat next to her. On the short staircase in front of the shrine. The branches of the nearby trees stretched above her, forming a shade from the sun.

The shadows of the leaves flickered with the blowing wind, letting whispers of sunlight leak through.

"On that note, what do you consider a friend to be?", Nonoo asked, looking at a cat.

"A person who plays or studies together with you, as far as I know. The key points should be spending a considerable amount of time together and lacking a hierarchy between the two."

(I checked "friend" in the dictionary before coming here. I'm sure I didn't answer wrong.)

Nonoo giggled.

"You won't get me studying. I don't have the patience for it."

"Then would you play something?"

"Not a bad idea, but I prefer sitting down and chatting."

Haruki nodded. She was okay with anything.

"What should we talk about?"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't have any preference."

Nonoo giggled.

"You're always so honest."

She disagreed but didn't say it out loud.

Instead, Haruki asked her own question.

"Is honesty a problem?"

"It's generally a virtue. But it can become a problem occasionally."

"When, for example?"

"For example, do you like me?"

"No, I don't like or dislike you."

Nonoo giggled again.

"Those words can hurt people, depending on whom. Not me though, I prefer the comfortable distance."

A cat climbed to Nonoo's lap. She put her hand on its head and continued.

"Comfortable is always the way to go. Oh, I know, we should talk about something stupid and meaningless, the kind of talk that pushes you to fall asleep. Pure conversational fluff with nothing productive."

Stupid and meaningless chatter.

Asai Kei was fond of that. But Haruki was unable to spontaneously come up with topics for it. So she needed to ask the important question.

"About what, specifically?"

"Let's see. How about we try to find the kindest sentence in the world?"

"The kindest sentence?"

"It could be the most fun or joy-bringing sentence if you prefer. As long as it's not the saddest or the most desolating. We could do this for pretty much anything, but let's start with kindness today."

Nonoo turned her gaze to Haruki.

"What's the kindest sentence in the world to you?"

She never thought about that. She didn't even know where to start. The question had her blindfolded in a labyrinth.

"I don't know.", Haruki answered.

Nonoo nodded.

"Then let's take a more concrete line of thought—Imagine a starving cat asleep on the chilly asphalt on a cold night. He's exhausted and emaciated. Do you believe there is any sentence capable of bringing solace to this cat?"

Haruki imagined a cat.

An emaciated cat. Exhausted, starved, and shivering.

Haruki could tell the cat was suffering. She knew it didn't want words. It would take milk and a blanket to save the cat. That would fill its stomach and let it sleep sound somewhere warmer.

(Is there any sentence that can replace milk and a blanket? Is it possible to save the cat with words?)

She thought of an answer but wasn't confident she got it right.

"You don't need to rack your brain so much. Pointless chatter doesn't have answers. Just say whatever comes to mind.", Nonoo smiled.

Haruki quickly nodded and answer.

"Then I'd say 'I'll go search for what you want'."

"Hmm?"

"I'd promise to bring back milk, blankets, and whatever else it needs."

(But does this count as kind words? I believe I'm circumventing the design of the question. Because what will ultimately save the cat is the fulfillment of the promise, not the sentence itself.)

That's why Haruki thought her answer was wrong, but Nonoo nodded satisfied.

"Good one. A promise that leads into hope."

"Oh, hope?"

"Knowing that he'll be saved in due to time might inspire the cat to endure the hunger and the cold night a while longer. Cats and people alike need hope to endure suffering."

"Is hope kind?"

Nonoo quietly giggled.

"Not necessarily. I could be just cruel. The cat could still be starved and shivering in the cold the next day. But I have to say the will to give others hope is kind."

(I don't get it.)

Haruki started thinking she didn't know the definition of kindness. That she knew only a superficial meaning and assumed that was whole nuance.

That's why Haruki needed to ask her question to Nonoo.

"What do you consider to be the kindest sentence of all?"

"If I found a cat suffering from hunger and cold, I'd say 'It's so cold. I'm hungry and it's so cold'.", Nonoo answered with her head tilted and her hands softly scratching a cat.

"Would that save the cat?"

"Not a chance. Nothing I can say would make a difference. But it would tell the cat I'm on the same boat."

"And what does that accomplish?"

"Depends on him. If I invite the cat to look for food, he'll answer 'let's go'. If I say I want a warm bed, he'll completely agree."

"And what if the cat doesn't say anything?"

"Then I'll sleep next to him, also without saying anything."

Haruki didn't know if Nonoo's answer was correct.

(What would Kei decide?), Haruki thought. She had a tendency to think that whenever she was indecisive. When she didn't know what to say, the words often came out naturally when she tried to imagine his voice.

Haruki imagined Kei's answer and spoke.

"I found your answer very sincere."

(That's what he'd say, I'm sure.)

"Sincere how?"

"You accept reality as it is, without trying to distort it."

"And is that a kind thing to do?"

"I don't know."

She still didn't know what kindness meant.

"But I believe it would bring some modicum of peace to the cat.", Haruki added.

Nonoo smiled without giggling.

"That's nice."

"Agreed."

"But the thing is… I don't trust words much."

She scratched the cat's neck area with complete naturality. The cat closed its eyes and yawned loud.

"Are you unable to trust words at all?"

"When you verbalize what's on your mind, people might interpret it completely wrong. This kinda unpleasant."

"The dictionary contains the meanings to all words."

"Yeah, sure. But this dictionary is also made of words. You need to know words to look up the meanings of other words."

(I see the problem now. That's certainly complicated.)

Haruki believed that if she looked up "kind" on the dictionary right now, she wouldn't be able to assimilate its meaning.

"I pet cats as an expression of love. But how can I express this same level of affection through words?", Nonoo said.

Haruki thought about it. She didn't have an answer.

The silence persisted. The locusts cried in the distance.

After a while, Nonoo shook her head.

"Sorry, that was a bad question."

"Not at all."

"But that's the appeal of stupid chatter for me. I love questions without answers. They make for pure conversational fluff with nothing productive. A space where conveying your message incorrectly will never become a problem."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two proceeded to spend a long time saying whatever came to their minds. Chatting about their recent dreams, the shapes of the clouds, and the beans on a cat's paws.

A conversation with no meaning, a simple exchange of voiced words that they'd forget the next day.

Eventually, the sun begins to set and Haruki stands up from her seat at the stone staircase. Then, in a moment of sudden curiosity, she asked:

"Did we become friends?"

Nonoo looked puzzled.

"Maybe? Still feels closer to acquaintance territory to me."

Haruki agreed, but couldn't explain why.

(I figured I hadn't achieved the objective yet. But I'm not on any deadline.)

Nonoo smiled.

"Come back again whenever you feel like it."

"Will that makes us friends?"

"It will. One conversation makes us acquaintances, but many makes us friends."

"Is that how it works?"

"Not sure, but I think so. Besides, I liked you rather well. It won't take long until we're friends."

(Great news.)

"I was actually quite uneasy. Previously, I only had one person I could call a friend."

"Only one? You mean Asai?"

"Not him."

(No matter how much we talk, I don't believe he'll ever fit the friends category. He belongs in his own, more special and inexplicable, category.)

The only one she could consider a friend was a girl she met two years ago. A girl who loved playing at the swings and had a tendency to grip the hem of Haruki's uniform skirt. But Nonoo didn't know her, so Haruki didn't see the point of mentioning her by name.

"Then will be back another day."

"Sure, I'll be waiting."

After a quick wave, Haruki turned her back to Nonoo.

The light beginning to mix with the madder red of sunset stretched the shadows of the trees.

Haruki Misora climbed down the mountain thinking about today's results.

Haruki Misora's friend-making operation was still ongoing.

She didn't know when she would have anything to show for it. But she didn't think it mattered how long it'd take.

[poealexholloway]

Books

A collection of book covers seen in the moyses hall in bury St edmunds. I'm going to write about them, what they convey and my own personal opinions on them, starting with one of my favourite books: The Hobbit

This is not the cover that I am most familiar with, I believe I have an older copy of the book, but this still conveys a similar feeling. To start, smaugs features appear exaggerated in the neck and face size, with the nose being particularly thin. The treasure in the majority suggests large amounts of coins but does not actually show all of them, and the defined items in the bottom right lack any finer details beyond its outline. These details all give the cover some fantasy feel as it feels like an image you would get from a tale being told to you by a bard at a tavern, or an old traveller entertaining curious kids. Omitting details in favour of a large picture, and exaggerating features to increase the presence in the story. The font used has the style of a quill and has additional curved flairs, which adds to the fantasy feel as the font is likely to appear in the universe. The borders at the bottom and top of gold with black dwarven runes also hints at some of the characters featured in the book. The whole cover also screams the main theme of the book: gold and treasure.

Brambly hedge. Books about mice, the covers reflect the name of the series, pictures of scenes from the book bordered by quite dense branches. As each of the books are based around a different season, it makes sense that what is growing on the branches is reflective of this, spring has leaves with flower buds, summer has the flowers blooming, autumn has more berries and less leaves as they drop in autumn and winter has the most amount of thorns growing, least number of leaves which have now gone red, and everything is frozen. The covers actually remind me of either tiles or coasters that have been hand painted very carefully. They also make me think of the 1980s and 90s, which makes sense as that's when they were made. You could also describe the covers as giving the feeling of looking into a smaller world because of the hedge border.

The dark portal has two versions of the cover shown, the older one on the left and the newer one on the right, both giving demonic feelings but differently. The one on the left has a wall with a window into darkness, bordered by candles and peering out are two glowing red eyes, highlighting the brow of the creature within. The face in this reminds me of the enclave power armour helmet seen in fallout 1 or 2 and the x 01 seen in fallout 4. The newer cover is instead bathed in orange light by an orb of fire encasing two eyes, held aloft by a giant rat creature, surrounded by the misty forms of the skulls of the dead.

I had fun writing that. The older cover gives the idea of a hidden cult, as its hidden in a wall and appears to be underground, and the candles have become linked with rituals at some point, likely due to the creation of electrical lights. The newer one, on the other hand, looks like it is showing what is one the other side of the portal, and is revealing some of the more supernatural elements of the book, and still giving a creepy feeling with the fog skulls. I prefer the older one to the newer one because of the hidden cult feeling behind it

The Deptford mice almanac. The cover feels like an old magical book with metal clasps. The golden hinges in the shape of paws and similar golden corners with large green gemstones makes the book feel important and the leather pattern makes it feel like an old journal or magic book. There is not much for me to say here, I feel like have seen this cover a few times, though I know I have only seen this once, the positioning of the mice in the centre looking over a book with light coming from it feels like it's been done for ages, so I'm not really interested.

Disney book covers. They feel like screen shots from the animation and I don't really like them. They may work well for kids books, the style is the same as what would probably be seen in the animation so would provide the sense of familiarity and they are easy to look at, and all the covers have the main characters in and can be described by their titles, they are really simple, and it bores me slightly, and epbecause it looks like they have just used sections from the animations it does feel slightly lazy. The only cover that looks interesting is the little mermaid, but unfortunately, the resolution is not good enough to have a proper look.

Narnia, the book cover looks fun. The border of the centre picture is stylised on a thick hedge, bush or tree. The trees on the side also look twisted and warped and move in ways that they possibly shouldn't. Given the setting of the book starts in world war 2 and focuses on refugees, it makes sense that they would want to escape to a hidden world behind a series of hedges to escape the house they were sent to as refugees to somewhere more fun and filled with adventure. The shape of the trees also suggests that this may not necessarily be real and could infact be just a dream or imagination

[hello-patricks]

Meltdown and stress

I have been masking for so long that I don’t know how to feel like myself, and I don’t correctly identify those masked meltdowns, but these last few days I have been able to live one, live from my living room, so here it goes.

My brother is extremely ill, and is having an emergency surgery with unknown outcome. No one know what will happen.

So he calls me, and I book a flight to another country to see him: my ex-wife loans me the money for the ticket and travel, and I am ready to book it except:

1 – it took me one 90 minutes in front of the screen to see what flight to book – I couldn’t press the “book now” button.

2 – I forgot that I chose a flight that was leaving in 30 minutes, so of course I got late to the airport.

3 – The airline got me a reservation in another flight, I go back home, re-pack because I had forgotten all essentials, and go back to the airport.

4 – I forgot the passport. The airline changes the reservation for the next day, again, because they can see I am almost crying. I am a boxy looking old man, wizened, serious, and even so they were able to see the distress.

5 - During the whole thing I am sweating like crazy, which I attribute to the heat of summer, but I was with AC the whole time.

6 – I fly the next day. I forgot my very essential medicine, my toothbrush, my exercise gear, my rain jacket: all of those are on the bed, where I was packing.

7 – I have been traveling internationally since I am 6 years old. I have procedures lists methods that I use, and usually can get packed in 30 minutes or less. This took me hours to put my underwear and shirts, I got the wrong pants, the shirts are one size smaller, the toiletries are all forgotten, I took five trips to get the running short ready and there they are, on top of the bed next to my meds, one country away.

8 – Flashbacks: I was having thoughts reminiscing about those times where I have been sweating like crazy, and now I recognize as “about h=to have a meltdown-shutdown” but at the time I thought it was simply stress. The memories of stressful moments came back, flooding, and that is when I am realized the common thread between those moments and now.

9 – When my mother passed away, 20 years ago, I stopped eating and dressed only in black. Not a conscious mourning, but all my mind could do. Food was coffee and something else, and I must have dropped 60 pounds. These days I have been more conscious about what I eat: water, chicken wrap, some carbs on hand for when insulin demands, but even so I am not hungry.

10 - I tossed in bed last night for 49 minutes, my little watch told me, without falling asleep, just realizing how we all abandoned my little brother and seeing it now, first hand, how his heath fell, how his life fell. It looks good on paper until you see him, thin and haggard, his studio pretty much a bleak work environment without a soul, what his books are, the cupboard with only one for, one spoon, two knives. How did I not see this!

11 – The sweating is back, the memories are back – I am going to the hospital today for the surgery.

12 – The intrusive thoughts are back: “How did we fail this guy like that. How were we able to push his pain so far away. We are responsible for those we love!”