#and for some reason my brain has decided they are ex-boyfriends

[iwanttobepersephone]

Y'all ever get obsessed with a fandom despite never interacting with the original thing and basing your understanding of it purely off of what the common consensus among the fandom is?

And then, years later, your brain decides to briefly get obsessed with it again, but instead of going and watching the original content, you just base everything off of your now even more vague understanding of canon? And then, eventually, you end up just creating your own thing that's slightly based on the original concept?

Yeah, that's me with Sanders Sides right now

Anyways, here's some doodles

[okwonyo]

✴︎ LET ME LOVE YOU.

PREC𝒾S ⠀⟡​⠀​ seven minutes in heaven with your ex boyfriend.

( 엔하이픈 희승 ) ୨୧ f .. r 1800 university au slight angst fluff exes to lovers getting back together ── flirting heavy make out skinship use of profanity ⠀ ｡｡ ⠀ recue𝒾l

ˊᗜˋreblogs&feebacks。C𝑙𝑖CK

DED𝑖CATED to ✶ to my puppy riri @isoobie mwah 🎀

a good portion of your life decisions has to be rethinked. half of the said portion needs to be modified, or even, destroyed with your bare hands.

starting with the one that let you here in the first place; agreeing to go to your friend’s party. leading you to end up in the middle of young adults drenched in sweat added to the scent of pure alcohol and other substances, loud music buzzing all the way to your brain, the ground vibrating as bodies jump up and down along the beat. not that you are shaming anyone ─ it is not as if you weren’t on the dance floor as well. vibing to the music after one of your friends dragged you to it with her, you bumped into a few people you could recognize the face or name’s first letter of. some you knew way better but decided to ignore until you were ready to face.

without even realizing, the simple fact of letting yourself loose around your friends made you stay at the party, that you were originally planning on staying for one hour to, much longer. as all your favorite songs were playing on the speakers, you didn’t even notice most of the people leaving. then when you did, the couch was too comfortable to get up just yet and quickly a bunch of people gathered around you until forming a full circle with you in it.

the second decision you should have made was leaving as soon as you saw a guy that you can’t reckon the name or existence of finishing his bottle of beer eagerly before putting it flat on the center of all of you. not because seven minutes in heaven is a silly game, although it is, there is a more important reason you should have avoided being in this circle or this party as a whole.

now, the bottle landed on you, heeseung being the one who spinned it in the first place. you find yourself trapped in a ridiculous closet with your ex boyfriend. which you haven’t seen in the flesh since he left korea during a whole year. and no, not even when he came back three months ago.

(not because you resented him. most likely because you were too nervous to confront him about your relationship’s current situation.

everything was too complicated, acting as if he was your ex boyfriend made your heart lighter and slowly became a reality as the months passed by.)

you could practically hear the grin growing on his face as you walked into the small piece, you wanted to kill him when he opened the door for you.

arms crossing themselves under your chest, you watched heeseung close the door behind him. his grin being ten times bigger than when your eyes met in the circle, “so─”

he got cut off as soon as he started talking, “we are not,” you emphasize on the last word. “kissing”

he fakes a saddened sound and a little pout, it doesn’t last long, though. his beautiful smile is back on his lips when the thought that you saw right through him runs in his mind because of course, he was ready to for it. he steps in front of you, “why?” he asks, tilting his head to the side. his voice is deep and slowly goes into a whisper, “are you getting shy? we already did that plenty of times before.”

the sound of his voice solely makes you court-circuit. you can feel your whole face getting red at the memory of his hot mouth on yours, the way he sighs in your mouth after a long time being away, his tongue traveling inside of it, his hands all over your body like he wants to make sure every part of it is still there, you remember it well. your eyes shot back and forth between his lips and his eyes ─ panic quickly settingin.

heeseung seems to notice your state of mind because he tilts his head to the other side, his smile turns into a playful smirk and he cocks one of eyebrows. a hum leaves his chest and vibrates in his throat as his mouth is still closed, silently asking you for an answer.

you cringe when you finally make your heart beat normally again, “we─we are exes!”

instead of ‘we haven’t seen each other for more than a year’, because it would be too weird, this is the only excuse you can come up with.

“is that all?” he chuckles, he takes another step towards you. for a second; he seems hurts, you brush it off. you furrow your eyebrows deeper at his movements as well as at his question. your excuse should be enough, alas it seems like it isn’t, “are you going out with anyone else these days?”

his body was beginning to be too close to yours for you to keep eye contact. you huffed anyway, as if you weren’t too busy mourning your semi-failed relationship with him to fall for somebody else. his stares is insistent on you and you can’t help but drag your gaze anywhere but on him.

you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding, “no, i am not,” there is no reason, for why you didn’t just tell him it was none of his business, not one you can wrap your head around at least. maybe you are not so petty anymore or maybe you don’t want heeseung to think you are in a relationship.

heeseung head falls, looking at his shoes. he stayed silent for a worrying amount of seconds, so much that you looked up to his face just to see him fighting a smile from spreading all over his face. he nodded while fighting for what seemed to be his life, slowly going back to looking at you. his tongue poked his cheek, despite all his efforts, he was still smiling.

he steps closer to you again, now you have to tilt your head up to look at him, “good,” he affirmed with full confidence, like the way he carried himself in front of you, “you don’t need anyone else,” there rest of the sentence is unspoken but still written all over his pretty face: other than me.

these simple words make all your control over your mind vanish. all the thoughts in your head vanishes in a few seconds, getting quickly replaced by the sugarcoated words of the man in front of you, who keeps on coming impossibly closer to you. he slowly is cornering you between the small closet’s wall and himself — before you can touch it, you almost trip over your feet as you walk backwards, his strong hand hold your lower back to prevent you from falling. your hands hold onto his biceps, you can feel his skin under your palms, your fingertips sinking in the muscles beneath them.

your heart is racing so much that you can feel it in your feet, warmth floods through all your body and you feel embarrassed by the thought of how red your face must be at this exact moment.

“are you okay?” he asks you gently. and hell, you could make a mess of his mouth right now.

you only press your lips together and nod, letting out a weak sound of ‘mhm’. then you just stare at him for a while, your chest rises and falls, your breath is heavy, the tension is building and heeseung is very close from combusting, you know it. however, he doesn’t lean in just yet, he wants you to make it ─ he wants to make sure you want it.

he speaks up again but his words are barely registered by you, “the only reason you have been feeling alone is because i wasn’t there,” nodding your head, your gaze too focused on his biceps. “i have been feeling the same as well,” he whispers, your thumbs rub against his skin, your mind is empty. he tucks a hair strand behind your hair, “but i��m here now,” he assures. “hm?”

you nod, although you didn’t really listen. there is only one option left.

your hand goes up to his shoulder, brushing against his neck to the back of it before reaching his hair. you lean him down as you put yourself on your tiptoes, heeseung lets you do whatever you want.

softness closes over your mouth. as usual, heeseung sighs into it, as if he has been craving this for months, and maybe he did. you could feel your body getting weaker. his arms hugging your waist gently the same way yours hug his neck ─ you both pulled each other as close as you could. your mouth fell open and he gently licked into your mouth.

he kisses you softly, carefully and kindly. heeseung always kisses you like that when he has missed you. his hands grip into your shirt as if he doesn’t want to you go away from him, bringing you closer and closer as the kiss goes on, he wants to melt into you.

he pulls back quickly, feeling himself losing it, “i missed you so much,” he tells you. his breath brushes right against your mouth. you can only look at him, not knowing what to say, with your gorgeous eyes and flushed cheeks. he whines, “don’t look at me like that,” and his tongue goes back to working in your mouth.

he wants to devour you.

you mind completely clouds over when heeseung tilts his head to the side in hope to get better access to your mouth, and his wish is given to him in a silver plate. you let out a song you are too embarrassed about to not throw into the bin of your deepest and darkest memories. you release a shuddered breath against his mouth when his hand drags itself from your waist to your nape, sending you chills through it. heeseung’s hand on the back of your head made your lips press even more against his.

you don’t know how long heeseung kisses you breathless but suddenly he slowly leans back up, his grip on your waist getting tighter. you slowly gets lifted off the floor for a hug-kiss. the joy bubbles up in your chest, threatens to burst out off your chest, and heeseung has to stop the kiss because you are smiling too hard.

you hug him tightly, hiding your face in his shoulder while his lips travel on your neck, leaving kisses here and there while you giggle. you missed him so much.

for sure, you could stay like this forever and you would if it wasn’t for the loud banging against the door. the seven minutes are over, still heeseung kisses you ─ a few quick pecks before putting you back on the floor.

he stares at you for a moment, a curse gently leaves his mouth and weirdly because it’s him, it doesn’t sound so be, “you are so pretty.”

you fight the urge to roll your eyes. feeling so soft and flustered, suddenly even more shy than earlier.

heeseung dragged you out of the closet with his hand in yours. you put a lot of effort in avoiding eye contact with your friends, which happened to be the majority of the people present here. with an arm hugging your waist when you both reached the couch, heeseung made you both sit on it. his arm lay heavy on your shoulders while he swooped in to kiss you softly on the cheek.

everyone groans loudly. you are both so back.

ㅤㅤ𓈒ㅤㅤ𓈒 taglist open !

(..◜ᴗ◝..) thank u for reading ! ^^

[bluebugjay]

A lot of people aren't vibing with Charles and Crystal's romance and honestly i think it's because it's not necessarily supposed to be a full-fledged, endgame romance.

I think it's written to be a fling.

Charles is a flirt; one of the first things he thinks about when Edwin tells him ghosts can't feel is that he would miss kissing, he says himself it's nice to be seen by someone his own age, he calls Crystal fit, etc. Assumably between cases he has a very small social circle of literally just Edwin so it makes sense that this girl who he gets on with and finds attractive immediately becomes a bit of a crush for him.

Then Crystal picks up on his flirting almost immediately, again they get on, etc. She says if he wasn't dead and she wasn't dealing with the aftermath of her toxic relationship with David he would be a good addition to her body count, i.e. just a fling. She doesn't say they'd date or she could fall for him just that they'd probably hook up.

Their first kiss happens when they're both dealing with some heavy stuff, Charles is angry, continuing to push down his trauma with his father and his past, Crystal is annoyed about not being any closer to getting her memories back whilst trying to deal with the trauma her last relationship caused her. They find comfort in each other in that moment. Crystal says she wants something real and the care they have for each other is real, there's no manipulation, no secrets. It's honest and it's innocent.

The song that plays in that scene is called Young Blood (White Sea Remix) by The Naked and Famous and has lyrics such as 'we're only young and naive still' and 'can't help myself but count the flaws, claw my way out of these walls, one temporary escape' and 'we lie beneath the stars at night, our hands gripping each other tight, you keep my secrets hope to die' - It does align with the idea that they're what each other wants in the moment, a distraction, to be able to pretend everything is normal and ok (keep each others secrets)

Crystal in the next episode, the next morning after their kiss, literally calls Charles a 'cute distraction' and says they should be friends. This time both of their issues and trauma are the reason for them not continuing the relationship. Blatantly, Crystal isn't ready for another relationship so soon after David, she wakes up with a nightmare about him and Charles. They bring up Charles fighting the Night Nurse and Charles says that he thought they were on the same page about it and 'at least that's how it seemed last night' which again leans into the fact they were both looking for comfort. Charles and Crystal kissing had nothing explicitly to do with her supporting his actions fighting the Night Nurse and yet that's how he took it because that's what he was searching for comfort from and acceptance on. Which is most likely why he seems to take the rejection harder than Crystal, seemingly agreeing to be friends more out of respect for her choice than the want to call it quits himself.

Charles tells Edwin later on about the kiss (right after Edwin is complaining about having to cancel plans with Monty) and says though he didn't physically feel it, he did feel it 'up here' and points to his head. The mind is generally not the place you feel love, I feel that's a given. (reminds me of the starfish on the beach that Niko says are in love, Edwin points out starfish have no brain and Niko says love doesn't require logic, meaning: love is not stored in the mind.) Charles and Edwin's conversation veers off to being about there own relationship, with Charles saying he wouldn't want to be dead with anyone else - not even the girl you just kissed? No? Ok.

The way that episode goes (The case of the two dead dragons) Crystal and Charles end up arguing about the very reasons they decided to not continue their relationship. Crystal likens Hunter and Brad to David, and Charles defends them saying not everyone is her demon ex-boyfriend which seems like he's projecting and really defending himself. Then Crystal calls him out on his 'rage problem' and what happened with the Night Nurse. So though they comforted each other the night before, their real feelings for each others issues are surfacing and they're not so on the same page. Of course they get over this and apologise soon enough. Though in the end, it's Edwin Charles opens up to and actually talks to about how he's feeling rather than pushing it aside and looking for a distraction. And after that, Charles gives Crystal genuine comfort not just a distraction by listening to her talk about her nightmares/visions about David. (immediately followed by the scene of Edwin and Monty on the swings in which Edwin suggests they don't see each other anymore, then back tracks, they kiss followed by rejection which definitely has... parallels)

After that, Crystal and Charles are still an obvious source of comfort for one another, they talk to each other about their stresses, they stick close together a lot of the time but there's nothing inherently romantic to their actions aside from the fact we know they have kissed which gives their actions a depth that, for example Edwin and Niko's don't, despite them also being affectionate and spending time together alone.

Then in the last episode as Crystal is attempting to leave for London, her and Charles share another kiss. When she tries to say bye to Charles, he says it feels like a 'good-bye good-bye' rather than a 'see you back in London good-bye' and Crystal doesn't correct him, essentially confirming it was supposed to be a forever goodbye. She instead kisses him. It's a good-bye kiss. A (supposed to be) final kiss. A 'we had a good run' type of kiss. Crystal kisses him because she thinks she'll never see him again. It's similar to the first in which the kiss itself is the beginning and end, and it doesn't mean much past that. It's a kiss as a secret again, like their first kiss. A kiss to fill the space left by things they don't want to talk about. She doesn't want to admit she's planning on leaving for good so she kisses him instead, it's a comfort and it's a distraction. (and its consistent)

When Crystal decides to stay in the end, Charles says it'll be great, then specifies that 'solving cases together' will be great, not anything else that could of implied. Which could either be them just being awkward, or a flip in their dynamic that now Crystal is the one more involved in their relationship and Charles is the one setting boundaries.

Overall I think they have a really interesting dynamic. They are exactly what each other needs in moments and then the opposite in the next, they care about each other so much yet are possibly the people that unearth each others insecurities and traumas the most. They're both looking for a new, different kind of relationship and find it within the other but inherently once the novelty fades they fall more into being friends than anything more. I think like most of the relationships in this show, they're supposed to be complicated, they're supposed to be more of a journey than a destination. They learn and grow from their interactions together and I think that's something really beautiful.

[lilac-5ky]

get him back! (ex-boyfriend!Toji x Fem!Reader)

mini kinktober tribute: hate sex

plot: you broke up with toji and he decided to break your friends, until you decide you've had enough.

tags: hate sex, toxic relationship, exes to ???, reader tried to be a good friend, toji is a manipulative asshole, against a door, unprotected sex, spanking, recording, derogatory petnames, slight angst and arguing.

wc: 2.2k

Masterlist | Kinktober Masterlist | AO3

“You fucking asshole! I know you’re holed in there like a damn rat; open up!”

Your fist bangs against his door with abandon. You don’t care that it’s 4 a.m. on a Thursday night or that the neighbors probably think of you as some crazy bitch, which maybe you are. You turned into one the moment your best friend was dumped through a three-word text.

“Saw your clunker out front; open up or the whole block will learn what a prick you are!”

Kimie was in love with him. She was in love with him when she collapsed on your doorstep an hour ago, and she was still in love with him when you left her sleeping soundly in your bed. So were Nanako, Azami, and Rio—the victims before her.

His modus operandi was the same with all four of your friends. He approached them one by one, casting the same spell that enchanted the panties off their thighs, dated them until he got bored, and then broke them into a state beyond repair, leaving you to pick up the pieces.

“I swear, if you don’t open the door right fucking now—” You’re suddenly dragged into his apartment, your wrist pulled against a firm wall of muscle as the door shuts behind you with a thud.

“And they say prayers don’t get answered.” His smile makes your guts churn, pearly white canines beaming below a taut, scarred lip. “Tad late though, aren’t ya? Been—what, two hours since I dumped that b—”

An attempted slap has your hand joining its twin in his grasp. “Call her a bitch again, and the next will be your balls!” You flail, trying to break free.

He doesn’t look disturbed in the slightest. His grin only turns wider at the sheer hatred with which you look at him.

You hate him. You hate Toji with every inch of your being. You hate how he ruined your friends’ lives on a whim; how he poisoned them against you, pointing you out as the reason for each of their breakups. You hate how there’s an ounce of truth in that accusation because, in his twisted brain, he’s doing all that for you. Because his ego can’t stand that you bailed on him first.

“Oh yeah?” He sneers, shoving your hands back against your chest. “Try me, girl. Show me what you got.”

His eyes provoke you, as smug as the rest of his face. You hate to think they were once the most wonderful thing in existence, and you treasured them like pure jade.

Your hands ball into fists, that remain glued to your sides. Your threats are empty, and he knows that. You aren’t there to fight. Just to give him a piece of your mind and hopefully, put an end to this insanity.

“Finally came around?” Toji asks at the lack of reaction.

You sigh. “How long will you keep this up?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Any more cute friends of yours left to fuck?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Your voice climbs a whole octave above his.

“You are.”

“Really? You’re gonna pin all of that on me?” It takes every bit of self-restraint not to pluck the hair out of his stupid head. “Please, enlighten me!”

“I miss you.” He admits, and he sounds earnest, but you aren’t fazed. You’ve heard all of that before; read all about it in the countless texts he’s sent over the past five months. “I miss my pretty baby and all the fun we had together. Miss how we talk, how we laugh, how we fuck.”

You managed to disregard the sculpted muscles decorating his bare chest that had been in plain sight since before you entered his place, yet now you look at them with a stare that is almost nostalgic.

“We were so good together, princess. Why be apart now, mm?” He reaches out to you, his forefinger curling near your cheek. “Don’tcha think your tantrum lasted long enough?”

“My tantrum?” You smack his hand away. “You are the one who had it good, Toji. You are the one who had a maid, a girlfriend, and a wallet all in one. You did nothing, and I did everything! I cleaned for you, I cooked for you—I even tagged along to all your stupid races, and you did what exactly? Fucked all my friends to get back at me for calling things off? If you really think it’s my fault, then you’re sick in the head, though that’s nothing new. You killed us; not me.”

Toji scratches the back of his head uncomfortably. As expected, he has nothing to say in return. He doesn’t miss you; he misses the comfort of you, and you don’t miss him either. You simply miss the way he sometimes held you tight against his chest and whispered he loved you so many times that you were inclined to believe him. You miss the dreams you created—the entire life you’d planned together only for it to be viciously torn apart by his current self.

“Can’t you see it? There’s no ‘we’ anymore. There’s only ‘you’ and ‘I’, and the poison that’s left behind from what we once were. It’s over between us, but ” you take advantage of his silence, “Kimie did nothing wrong. She loves you, so better give her a call, say you got high on some shit—I don’t fucking know—and apologize. Beg if you have to, but get back with her.”

“And why would I do that?” His arms fold over his chest, a thin obsidian brow shaping an arch. “Boring bitch was only good at getting my dick wet. Nothing like you.”

His voice mellows down as he speaks your name, his eyes waning past his eyelids, both soft, unlike the calloused palm that traces the outline of your face. “I was serious about you. Still am. Why else you think I did all that? I love you. Love my baby and her little pussy so much.”

“S-stop that.” Your heart skips a beat as he corners you against the door, your hand searching for the handle behind your back.

“My pussy.” His lips ghost over your neck while his hips buck into you possessively. “C’mon, baby. Be honest with yourself. You don’t really give a shit ‘bout Kimie. You came to me cause ya knew I’d fuck you good. Haven’t let anyone in my pussy since last time, mm?”

“You are wrong.” You breathe out, nails digging sharply into your palm. You don’t want this. You don’t want him. You are here for your friend—the only friend you’ve got left after he turned everyone against you. “You ain’t shit, Toji.”

“Yeah? How many guys have made you scream like I have? How many of ‘em have fucked both your brain and thighs into mush? How many of ‘em you called daddy, hm?” He bites into your shoulder, and an immediate shudder circuits from the point of impact across your body. “Thought so. No one fucks you like I do. No one will ever love you the way I do.”

“Fuck you, Toji.” The way his knee presses between your thighs coaxes a sigh he doesn’t miss. He grinds harder, your heat pulsing below your soaked underwear.

“Yeah? Fuck me?” He’s gone back to facing you, his minty breath tickling your bottom lip right before it follows his tongue into your mouth. Your body doesn’t resist; worse, it reciprocates.

“Yes. F—fuck you,” you mumble, having found a new reason to hate him.

He is right. You never cared that much about Kimie, because if you did, you wouldn’t have sneaked out in the middle of the night in your skimpiest outfit. Avenging your friend was the last thing in your mind, an afterthought drowned by his lips and his hands crawling beneath your dress.

“Why not do it yourself, baby?” Toji nibbles at your lip in the exact way he knows that you like. “Fuck me. Fuck me, and I’ll take that bitch Kirie back ‘f that’s what ya still want after.” His finger curls around the elastic band of your panties, awaiting your answer.

“God, I hate you so fucking much.”

“Hm?”

“It’s Kimie, you asshole.”

In an instant, your arms loop around his neck and your legs around his torso as Toji lifts you up against the door. He grunts into the kiss, teeth and tongues clashing while each tries to gain access to the other’s body. He rips your underwear into a single shred he flings away, giving your ass a rough smack that makes you whine countless little I hate you’s into his mouth.

Fumbling with the laces of his sweatpants, you lower them enough for his cock to spring free, already rock hard even when you’ve done nothing besides arguing. You almost moan at the sight, thinking to yourself there might just be a part of him you actually missed.

“Shoulda wash that potty mouth for all the useless shit it spews,” he murmurs against your skin, sliding your dress’ straps below your breasts and rolling the hem over your stomach. “‘member how much ya loved to suck me off? Gagged on every inch and swallowed every drop like the fucking cockslut that y’are.” His teeth dig in your flesh, coloring a mark right above where his fingers close around your neck. “My cockdrunk whore.”

“Just fuck me and get this over with.”

Your breathing grows strained the more pressure he applies, your walls clenching around his cock as he finally sinks inside. You try not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction, pursing your lips together while his thick girth stretches your cunt to its limits. You channel all the miserable memories he left you with, every tear you shed over him seemingly gathering as slick that squelches with each thrust your moans drown out. Oh no.

“Liar,” Toji smiles haughtily, a continuous drum from his hip ruthlessly slamming yours against the wooden door, your back rising higher each time. “Knew ya wanted this as much as I do.”

“N-no,” you pant out, stubbornly holding onto your last vestige of self-respect while the tip of his cock insists to kiss that one spot that has you seeing stars quicker than you can account for.

“Don’t tell me ya still lie to yourself ‘bout doing this to be a good friend.” And when you don’t answer, he reaches into his pocket to dig out his phone, first pointing the camera at your face and then at the point where his cock splits you open. “Wanna make a video and send it to her? See what she makes of you getting railed?”

“You fucking piece of shit!” You slap the phone from his grasp, the entire screen filling up with cracks before going dark.

“That was new.” His tongue clicks against his mouth’s roof. “Guess I’ll have to make you pay for this, hm?”

Both his palms drop to your ass, spanking both cheeks in tandem with his thrusts until tears thread your eyelashes, the intoxicating mix of pain and pleasure speeding up your orgasm.

“A bit louder, baby. Don’t think the neighbors heard ya.”

He bullies his cock faster into you, husky moans complimenting your high-pitched whimpers that fill the space and echo across the halls of his apartment building.

“T-Toji, I—” He finishes you off before you can finish your sentence, your eyes squeezing shut as fireworks blast behind your eyelids.

“That’s my girl.” He praises, laying soft kisses that you reject on your sweat-covered forehead. You don’t want to be fooled again. This is a one time thing.

“‘m not your—ugh, fucking girl.” You hiss, yanking at the frayed tufts of hair your fingers pick from his skull. “Never will be.”

“Sure about that?” A hand sneaks between your bodies and finds your clit. “Bet if I make ya cum ‘nough times, you’ll come crawling back to me.”

“N-not a chance,” quickly shifts into a loud, “Fuck!” when he starts rubbing quick circles around the sensitive nub. You can’t seem to stop moaning for him, feeling your second climax creep up on you at the same time he spills his load, fucking every velvety rope of his cum deep inside your sopping pussy.

You stand on your feet for the first time in a while, your knees trembling as you struggle to keep straight without his aid. Toji looks so smug with his cock still throbbing in his hand, the swollen red tip mocking you and your efforts to resist it.

He pulls his sweats up, and without a warning, the door flies wide open. This is your chance to leave. It’s what he wants. For you to either bear the shame of stumbling back home with his cum staining your legs down to your ankles or stay the night and be tricked into getting back together; humiliation on both ends.

“What’s it gonna be, baby?”

And as the door falls shut behind you, you know you’re going to hate yourself even more after this night than you ever hated him.

a/n: so i planned this waaaay too late, but i still wanted to partake in the madness known as kinktober. i'll be doing some of the days at random, sometimes adding more than one kinks to one one-shot. most will be about toji, unless-

and yes, i'm obsessed with olivia's new album. sue me. masterlist tomorrow, it's 5 am ffs.

[fanficwriterlover]

My Choice Our Consequence

Chapter 1: The Consequence...

Summary: You're a sniper/medic, part of the team 141. Everyone considers you their light, however, your light has diminished and has started taking a toll on the rest of the team because of a choice you made...now you have to face the consequences of your actions and live with that reminder forever..

Expectations: Slow burn, Breakup, Depression, Panic Attacks, Yelling, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of SA, Romance, Slow Romance, Fighting, Violence, Blood, Killing, Shooting,Stabbing, Smut, Fluff, Flirting, Teasing, etc...

Call Sign: Hera or Lil Light

Word Count: 7.4k

A03 Version

Did you predict this would happen to you ? No...not to your full extent of your brain capacity. Were you regretting that night because you were emotional that night and took a huge risk ? Absolutely ! You wanted to kick yourself so hard for how stupid you were for not being rational, and God for bid even allowing him to keep it in. Yet, there you were, trembling in your bathroom holding a mere plastic with such simple symbols that held so much weight...

"Fuck..." you mumble to yourself. To be honest, you were horrified by this revelation, because you had broken up with your ex over a month ago, and neither of you had sex in well ages... yet during your time of solitude, you took the liberty to drown your pain with another man. Now in some cases this shouldn't be a big deal right ? I mean...just tell the man you laid with, that apparently your birth control didn't really prevent the bastards bloody seeds from entering your womb and creating a growing child. Oh yeah, with that, your ex decided to walk back into your life wanting a second chance, and he's been awfully persistent in stalking and threatening via text messages and more. Oh and to top it off...the possible father to be, had been avoiding you like the plague. So yes...everything is just lovely. You groan out in a choked sob yet you grumbled with anger. Of all people and of all times...why you ?

Over a month ago~

You had to get yourself together though, because unfortunately you weren't some mere woman who just happened to be knocked up...oh to make it worse you just so happened to be a Sargent who is part of the task force 141 as their designated sniper/medic and to make it WORSE. You were supposed to be leaving for a mission in the next hour. You dropped the plastic into your sink as you slouched down onto the cold tile flooring pressing your back to the wall and cradling your head "Oh fuck...what am I going to do" you nearly sobbed trying to hold back your tears from gushing down your cheeks.

God forbid they notice the tear stains on your cheek, or puffy eyes that are blood shot and red nose, your team will definitely be on your arse about what's got you so moody. Honestly when you noticed your mood being more...well gruff you simply thought it was due to stress. Especially what happened a month ago....all you wanted was to be left alone to eat your breakfast especially with how horrible your morning has started, the one solitude moment of peace and enjoyment. Mind you, you loved the company of Soap and Gaz (your teammates) but for some reason, their obnoxious banter and rowdiness was only making you irritable. Honestly you thought it was from lack of sleep considering a week prior your ex has been unrelenting on getting a hold of you, asking for forgiveness and wanting to try again.

He was a civilian, you knew him since highschool before you enlisted. However, this job demanded a lot and your time became few and few. Which caused a tear in your relationship, even though your ex knew of the reality of your job you always did your best to reach out to him and spend any waking hour to contact him. Sure, there was signs of distancing but you didn't know better....then after one mission, you came back early, and as eager as you were to surprise your once boyfriend, you found him on your couch with another woman. It was an earth shattering moment. In that moment of weakness you did something stupid...

I don't know how long I was standing outside in the rain...shaking and crying. An hour ? Two ? Three ? Did it honestly matter ? The image of your boyfriend in between the legs of a woman you've never seen on your couch shattered you into pieces. You were standing before the gates at your base, debating on whether to return to your bunk, but everyone knew you would be going home to your flat to be with your boyfriend. Yet the idea of confrontation by your team wasn't something you wanted to deal with at the moment. Let alone for them to see you in such a state. So you decided to do your best to sneak past everyone. Slowly dragging your feet, you made your way into the building where all the bunkers were, you could hear members laughing loudly and celebrating as you passed the lounge area. You tried to remain unnoticed and silent, sneaking by, which in the moment you thought you were successful. Drawing near as you kept walking down the halls to your door, however, what you didn't realize was a looming shadow who was watching your every move. Just as you were about to open your door-

"Why are you drenched ?" A deep Manchester voice spoke, that all so familiar voice sent a rush up your spin and it wasn't even from the cold of your soaked clothes. His voice always made you tremble and flustered. Hesitantly you made eye contact with the owner of the voice, seeing the balaclava of the skull man standing dauntingly 6'4" with his blonde lashes partially slitting his almond eyes that took in your features. Even with his eyes on you, you wanted to shrink. Mind you, Ghost and you had no qualms with one another but you always found him intimidating yet together you worked well as a team. "I- went for a walk and ended up getting rained on" you fumbled up a lie avoiding eye contact squeezing your hand on the door knob silently praying he wouldn't notice.

"That so?" He says lowly. It makes you gaze back up at him once more not fully looking in his direction as he had his arms crossed still looking down at you, you heavily gulped "Y-Yeah ?" You could see a partial shift over his eyes, it meant he raised a brow at you before approaching you more as he stood directly behind you now, his chest nearly pressing up behind you, this made you hesitantly turn to face your Lieutenant who was looking down at you more seriously. His head tilting down at your short figure his arms coming down to his sides. You had to put a hand up onto his chest to stop him from drawing any closer as your heart began to race and you immediately averted your gaze from his towering figure.

You didn't even realize he had you pinned into your door with his hand over you gripping the ledge of the doorframe as you could feel the rise in your cheeks. "You 're lying. What did he do ?'" his eyes scanned over your features. Obviously the rain did very little to hide your tear stained cheeks and the redness in your eyes. Yet you still refused to meet his gaze. For what felt like an internity his gloved hands reached up and lifted your chin slowly. The sensation of his rough leather skeleton gloves made your eyes widen as he tipped your chin up to meet his looming gaze. How could you look away now. Your eyes latched on to his menacing gaze. You can see his eyes slightly flickered with some kind of emotion...now you wouldn't consider yourself an expert on reading his expressions but you'd like to think you could a little....yet it was impossible that Ghost...the Lieutenant Ghost was sympathetic for you ?

Don't even think you realized what was happening or that he had slightly lifted his balaclava up just over the bridge of his perfectly shaped nose, that showed the hint of a scar that peeked under his mask across his strong high bone cheeks and perfect lips that has a scar slicing the right corner. You didn't even realize then, he leaned near your ear and whispered "Y/n...snap out of it" ....wait no thats not what he said.

"Oi ! Earth to y/n ! You get any shut eye ? I miss your sexy voice Bonnie" Soap snickered as you were brought back into the moment having been in position, as it seemed your mind was seamlessly going to recall that moment between you and the Lieutenant yet, your body already knew what it was doing. You had your sniper rifle in front of you with the scope brushing at your long eyelashes. You were stationed not that many klicks from where the boys were moving into action. You could see Soap stealthily moving around another building trying to move closer to the targets building without alerting the guards until they've breached their walls. Of course, the living myth and legend was leading them closer to the building, he camouflaged impressively well into the shadows for such a big guy.

Again your mind was drifting and the static in your comms rang through your ear as your Lieutenant spoke "Hera. Take the two on the west building." This snapped you to attention as you shifted your scope as he had directed, your finger moving to the trigger as you took a deep breath to stop your queasy stomach. Pulling the trigger you took down one man, who crumbled down quickly the other becoming aware of his partner down but before he could so much as spread the word you had pulled the trigger already and he was down as well. You radio into your comms "Clear. Proceed with caution Bravo 0-7, there's 4 at the back entry." You locked your rifle as you moved your eyes from the scope "Copy that Hera." He says through the comms. You had to shift positions now, lingering in one spot was dangerous, as you slid back from your spot out of sight hitting your comms "Alpha 2-8 moving positions" you swiftly made your way to another spot that gave you a different angle to where the boys were going to be entering as you got into your knees setting down your rifle.

Yet something felt very wrong. You were frozen to the spot, listening intently, your nose, due to your pregnancy, it was heightened and you could smell someone's sweat from where you were. Over the comms you could hear that Soap and Ghost had already breached the walls making their way to find the enemy hiding within the walls. Behind you, there was nothing but high grass, and you were wearing beige clothing to blend to the tall dying grass.

You pull out your knife and pistol, clicking off the safety and check it's loaded. Even now the scent was more potent, you wanted to throw up, the unwanted man was wearing heavy cologne of sorts and for anyone in the SAS that's a stupid move. Even now you could hear the ringing in the comms as Ghost and Soap updated on their movement and such.

Yet even when you heard them ask "Soap, to Alpha 2-8, what's ya status lass ? " you could hear the slight panic in Soap's voice yet right now you were remaining still observing your surroundings. Even now you can hear how frantic Soap was becoming and the deep booming voice of your Lieutenant sounded through your earpiece "Hera. What's your status." He sounded gruff and annoyed probably not to you but you did catch between the two over the comms that the enemy was not in the building and that it was a setup.

That much you already knew. You reached for the comms pressing the button and speaking softly "This is Alpha 2-8....my post has been compromised" and yet that is when you saw your stalker lunge out from the tall grass, immediately you pulled the trigger, but not before he tumbled into you having a knife in hand slicing your shoulder deeply, you yelped upon impact, tumbling to the ground, hitting the back of your head, but not hesitating to wrap your legs around the man who was trying to stab you hovering over you with him trying to push it down to your throat. You grunted trying to hold his grip as he straddled you down, you can hear Soap frantically calling through the comms "Oi! Hera ! Answer us Bonnie !" You couldn't as you grunted pushing with legs to knee him in the groin which caused him to roll off you. Quickly you reached for your dagger and rolled to where he was stabbing down hitting him then the chest, as you didn't hesitate to grab your pistol that was tossed to the side and shoot him in the head.

Panting hard you held your stomach immediately feeling sick, the blood all over your hands and face, the scent...oh God that potent iron scent. You had to move away to empty your stomach all the whole Ghost and Soap were making their way back to your last known location hearing you hurl your stomach. Ghosts loud booming voice could be heard from a distance while he hit the comms "Hera !" You began to cough more as you tried to take deep breaths. Reaching painful to the comms with your wounded shoulder "I'm good. Just had a tussle."

You were shaking looking away from the dead man, not aware that Ghost and Soap reached you. They took in the scene then you. Soap quickly approaching you seeing you look sick and bleeding "Jesus Bonnie... thought we lost you, you sure ki-" he paused mid saying "Aye...you good ?" You were going to respond but it felt like your stomach was acidic. You didn't even know. But your vision began to blur and you fainted. You could only feel strong arms quickly catch you before the fall but it was numb everywhere throughout your body. You could see the skull mask hovering and the slight glimpse of the Mohawk figure looking over you trying to get your attention. But your eyes closed.

White, a color you probably absolutely hated seeing that blinded you in every corner. Sitting in the chair your legs dangling as you fiddled with your fingers. You had recovered after you've fainted when they loaded you on the chopper, you assured the team you were just dehydrated. But of course, Lieutenant gave you that knowing glare that made you relent. You knew what the doctor was going to say, he drew your blood, tended your wounds, and checked for bruising which was on your hips, wrists, and chest.

Even now your anxiety was high as you nearly jumped out of the chair at the sight of a familiar doctor who you'd often work with around the med base. Dr.Connar. Good looking man, he was slender tallish(no where close to military big like Ghost) tustled brownish black hair, deep brown eyes and genuine smile. He was holding your chart and you knew what to expect. "We have got to stop meeting like this y/n." He snickered seeing you as he pulled up a chair in front of you as you gazed up at him waiting for the inevitable. "So...your wound isn't infected. Just some mild bruising will be gone in a couple days. You hit your head I see. Slight bleeding nothing serious though...." this was when he gazes up at you seriously over the chart we he was reading resting it on the table to the side, he leaned forward his elbows resting on his knees as he looked at you seriously

"As you know... protocol. I have to check your blood to ensure you were not given anything into your bloodstream or got an unknown infection." You nodded your head slowly not averting your eyes from his serious gaze. "Then you also know...I must give this report to your Captain of your condition? " you flinched as he considered it as a condition now looking down. His eyes still boring into you as he let out a sigh "What the fuck y/n ! You should've been nowhere near the battlefield. You could've been seriously hurt or killed !" You flinched a bit more, tears forming in your eyes as you couldn't hold it any longer.

"You don't think I don't Fuckin' know that ?!" You cry out in anger yet he doesn't so much as flinch just simply gives you a sympathetic look. "I didn't ask for this ! Any of it !" You get out of the chair huffing annoyed as you began pacing the room his eyes watching your every movement. " You know since you are my patient I'd have to put in you are suspended from combat, training, or field work. Considering even maternity leave by second trimester." He says so casually but it makes you glare daggers at him, deep down logically you know he's right but...fuck you didn't want to have everyone questioning you why you're being pulled off when you are physically fine.

"Please Peter....don't do this to me." You beg him looking at him, he stands up placing a hand on your shoulders making you look at him "Y/n... believe me. I am not doing this as your doctor. I'm doing this as your friend. If something were to happen to you-" you interjected "Nothing will, I can fight-" yet he grips your shoulders more firmly "No ! You could've lost it or your life ! I will not stand by as your doctor or friend to put your life or that child in harms way !"

Child. Huh. Funny, you just found out... could barely even consider it a child as it's just a mere embryo at this point not even a human body formed yet. But deep down, without so much thought your hand slid down touching your stomach and Peter guided you to sit into the chair. "You're my dearest friend. I know this is terrifying...but you have to think outside yourself now" you glance at him as he was boring into your eyes. You knew he was right...deep down you would want to protect your growing child. However, knowing the horrors of the world and your enemies made you terrified to think the timing was just horrible. You couldn't stop. The tears rolled down your face heavily and you sobbed into your friend's shoulder as he let you, hold you.

The next day, you were asked into the office by Captain Price, everyone was expecting you to have to hand in your medical sheet, yet you begged your friend to allow you to talk it out with your captain. You were terrified. Gazing at the door in front of you that had Price's name plate on it, you tentatively rasped your knuckles onto it. As if immediately you hear the Liverpool accent gruffly acknowledge "Enter." John has always been a comforting Captain despite his ranking he valued every solider it's why you remained loyal to this taskforce especially after being handpicking from him. He glances up from the piles of papers he was signing off seeing you enter as he gave you a content smile "Good seeing you Y/n. How are you feeling?"

He motions for you to sit as you do so nervously, "Good sir...um I brought you my medical chart" you reluctantly stretch it out within hand to offer him to look at it as he takes it, even before he opened it you spoked "Permission to ask a favor sir ?" This caught his attention as he set the file down taking in your nervous features. You looked nervous, barely looking like you've slept and definitely have been crying. He tips his head to tell you to go on "Go on..." you let out a shakey breath. "I'd like to request that...my medical condition not be shared outside this room please ?" You almost whispered the please, your eyes begging him to understand and this was a request he was taken back from. Setting the file down rather to hear it from you then read it himself . Honestly John's heart was beating so hard, it was going loudly in his ears "I'll agree...that is if you tell me what it is you have ?"

Honestly his eyes raked over your form, despite being small, you weren't exactly weak, infact he wouldn't even consider you the type to have an illness so imagine his surprise to your request yet nonetheless he was patient and understanding.

You bite your lower lip gripping at the knees of your cargo pants shamefully looking down starting to shake, John placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. You didn't realize he was sitting in front of you at the edge of his desk leaning forward. He was willing to wait until you were ready to tell, and looking into his ocean eyes you gave in "I- I'm pregnant sir..." his eyes were wide for a moment reeling from the news.

Sure he knew you had a boyfriend but you hadn't interacted with him in months that much he was aware of. He would console you some nights when you'd cry about being distant and how he doesn't treat you or touch you the same. Of course he wanted to support you, you were like a daughter to him, so he spoke softly yet with authority "I can see this is a big deal...then I am to presume..." glancing at your figure he didn't know much about pregnant women but he could tell you were no where near showing. "I will not reprimand you y/n...but I need to know." He looks at you seriously waiting.

You knew what he was asking for and it made you even more scared. Having to tell your friend was already a huge step but to tell your captain? "L-Lieutenant G-Ghost sir..." you looked down with shame.

However Price was more shocked than anything. Their Simon Riley? He wanted to gawk at this news but knew that's not what you needed right now, quite frankly he had to contain to his rank. Sitting back "You are aware of the consequences to such inappropriate conduct ? You could be stripped of your rank and court martial." He frowns at you seriously which you nod your head seldomly "Y-Yes sir" he sighs out pinching the bridge of his nose "Does he know ?" This makes you flinch. You really did not want to walk up to your Lieutenant and tell him you're possibly pregnant with his child. That's a big F no. You glance up at your Captain. "No sir... I don't think I can." He gives you a look as you respond immediately "Please Captain, I don't want to cause trouble. I'm begging you. Please make an excuse to suspend me." You gave him a pleading look.

Now under most cases he would've given into your puppy dog eyes but this was serious. You were asking him not only as a Captain but as the best friend to Ghost. To go behind his back and lie to him. He crossed his arms over his chest letting out a deep sigh "Y/n...I am not keen on withholding information from my lieutenant-" you were about to interject yet he raised his hand, which made you silence blushing heavily heart racing "However...I'll grant this request on ONE condition." You seemed hopeful with this proposition. Yet John gave you a very straight look, "I don't care when you do it. But you MUST tell my Lieutenant." He looks at you daring you to object. Now deep down you wanted to. The fear in your eyes was evident. Approach Ghost ? No way...I can barely handle his intense gaze let alone confronting him about this. You bit the inside of your cheek considering it, before relenting "I-I agree sir...when I find the right time. I will. I promise." He studies you looking to see if you were lying but he found none, if anything he just saw how fearful you were from all this so he had to trust you.

Nodding his head accepting that answer he moved back around to his chair sitting down "I will work on a reason for your suspension until you've well..." he seemed flustered to say the least as he cleared his throat. "I'll have Laswell make sure to come up with a decent reason to keep the other lads off your radar." You smile gratefully nodding you head. As you salute him then take your leave. You didn't realize how much you were holding your breath as you let out a shaky breath. Great...now how do you tell a Ghost that he knocked you up ? Grumbling softly you began walking to your bunker, by now, Price was probably working up a reason for your suspension so it seemed only right to pack. Perhaps maybe you'll find the right thing to say to him...why you....such a big responsibility on your shoulders and yet you have to make a choice. Yet depending on what you choose...will it be good ? Or make it worse ?

You make your way down the hall, heading to the food court where everyone was gathered, grabbing their trays of food. Seeing faces that were unfamiliar or people you recognize but never really got to know. Everyone was chatting with another. You took in the room, it was almost overwhelming. Especially the smell, god, the smell of men was potent. Was it always this musky smelling with different colognes drifting through the air. It made you want to hurl your stomach. That was when you felt a large arm drape roughly over your shoulders causing to grunt from the impact as you look up to meet a familiar blue eyes and Mohawk figure. Soap. “There you been lass ! Save a seat for ya’ !” You sigh inwardly “Jesus Christ Soap, I just got discharged-“ he seems to immediately look at you worriedly “You broken Bonnie ?” he studies you almost inspecting to find the source of your pain “Nah, I’m good. Just bit sick to the stomach” he seems to relax at that patting you gently on the shoulder and pushing you to go up to grab some food “Glad you good, had us worried there for a ‘ec, shoot, don’t think I’ve ever seen LT so panicked.” He wiggles a brow at you which makes you shrink and blush before batting his arm away as you grab a tray to pick out food. “Oh hush Soap…any news since-?” you ask curiously as you grab fruits and a salad then take a glance in his direction.

He was stacking his plate up with everything. Jesus that man could eat. It made you start to realize now that you should probably eat more than you’re used to since now you’ll be feeding for two. You decided based on the selection of food presented that you would think your stomach would tolerate is a simple chicken sandwich. Placing it on your plate Soap mumbles lowly “No…nothing. Fuck’n sucks. Feels like we just chasing shadows.” You look up at him sympathetically and toss and apple at him which he fumbles to catch yet does looking at you “You need to even out your diet Soap. Need some form of fruit or veggies in that belly of yours.” As you look down with a smirk to his tray. Boy this Scottish man can eat, not one not two BUT three sandwiches. You snort shaking your head dismissively walking toward where Gaz was seated at a table waving the two of you over. As Soap snaps back “Oi ! I’ll have you know I gotta feed my gains ! We all can’t be tiny and slender like you” he grumbles. This makes you blush, because already you felt you were more bloated than usual. Sure the bump wasn’t as pronounced if anything looked like you gained a few pounds. However, you were always athletic and physically in shape.

Taking a seat next to Gaz you smile at him, which he returns the gesture “Glad to see you well Hera. Had us all worried.” You blush and smile at him. Oh Gaz was probably secretly your favorite he was charming and sweet and absolutely the best kind of friend you could ask for. He is the definition of blood brother. You two always looked after each other and you were the one who mentioned his name to Price so there was a mutual friendship long before the taskforce. “Sorry for making you worry…by the way where’s Ghost ?” you cock your head looking at both men. They seem to frown at the mention of his name but Soap finally answers “Honestly…’aven’t seen him much lately…LT been very weird lately. But I bet he’ll be happy to see you up and about,” he pats your shoulder playfully smirking at you. You laugh softly. Eventually you finally begin eating, guess they seem oblivious to asking why you fainted which you were glad. They knew exactly how to make you relax, between their bickering and story telling they made you relax and feel normal and forget about the looming secret growing.

Immediately your instinct is to reach to your thigh where you usually wore your strap holding your dagger but of course. You were literally butt naked. Turning fully to look at the figure, you realize it’s none other than Ghost. You breathe out a sigh “Fuckin’ hell Ghost. Why you have to be such a creep !” you hiss out in an annoyance after nearly being scared trying to soothe your heart rate down as you look at his eyes rake over you. “You need to sharpen your awareness then. Could’ve been anyone.” He says seriously, his arms crossed over his chest looking at you. Now not only were you flustered but him correcting you at the moment really triggered you as you snap, “Well I shouldn’t need to be on guard on base !” you glare at him, yet he doesn’t so much as seem bothered by your features. Instead he approaches you, moving closer as he looks down at you. Your back pressed into the edge of the sink as he leans forward-

The day went by so quickly, you went with the boys to shoot some rounds, finally approved by your friend to hold a rifle to shoot some rounds. Of course, your aim is flawless when holding your favorite rifle It made you feel normalize in your life. After that you decided be best to take a shower as there are so few women on this base, and most the building was set up for men, you’d often wait until late as possible to be able to shower in peace. Taking a change of clothes and a towel you enter the shower room setting your bag down and undressing. Immediately your eyes scan over your naked form, for now you showed no signs. In fact you still looked sleek and fit. Yet you knew the wiser. Glancing at the side of your profile, you immediately felt insecure, the idea your body will change and expand that you’ll put on weight made you shiver. Tearing your eyes from the mirror you step into a shower stall and turn on the water. The gushing of cold hits your hand as you wait for it to warm up, now normally your body could handle such, but now you felt it was too cold to tolerate. Even with your body barely been pregnant long it already seems to be shifting to accommodate this unborn form.

You step under the warmth of the water letting it glide over your body. Its almost cleansing feeling the water graze over your body, as you comb your fingers through your scalp down to the end of your hair length. You began rubbing yourself with your bar of soap and sponge taking your time to clean yourself fully. Once you finished you turn off the water and wringing out your hair before reaching for your towel. The bathroom room was now full of your shower steam as it fogged the mirrors. You stood in front of one of them with your towel wrapped around, leaning closer you use your hand, in a circular motion to clear off the fogged mirror only to see a skull mask looking directly at you.

Ghosts POV

When they heard you over the comms tell them your spot been compromised he felt horrified that they wouldn’t have been able to get back to you on time and would’ve found you dead. Yet instead, they found you losing your stomach. It was all weird. You were if anything the most toughest women he’s met aside from Laswell, and that speaks volume. You were someone he let his guard down with, without regret. He didn’t mind showing you his darkest side, his pain, his reminders, and face. You took him in. You acknowledged him. You were patient with him too which is something he respected about you. You were someone who carried them self with such maturity, purity, and selflessness. And he…stupidly took advantage of that. From that night.

The minute you began to faint, he was immediately lunging to your side and catching you before you hit the ground. Judging by your state, didn’t seem like you were wounded extremely. Maybe some bruising. However, he found it unusual that you were losing your stomach after killing a man. I mean, everyone’s done stuff that made them sick, but he’s seen you calm and collected stabbing a man in the neck when you were lunged at one time during a mission. He always found you resilient so seeing you this sensitive seemed odd. Soap disrupted his thoughts looking down at your passed out form “Oi, Bonnie !” he immediately checked your pulse yet he knew wiser “She ‘s alright Soap. Just fainted from the looks of it.”

He then reaches to his vest still cradling her in his arms as he radios in the help, “Nikolai, bring the helo to RV. Coming in hot, Hera fainted.” He immediately picks you up bridal style, despite wearing a vest and armor you were still light. He nods his head, “Keep up Soap” as he already begins running to the rendezvous. Upon seeing the chopper lower, you began to stir in his arms and mumbles hoarsely “I-Im good. You can put me down Ghost.” He doesn’t even look down at you saying deeply “Didn’t look that way Sargent.” Yet you protest more, which he relents to setting you carefully onto the ground. His hands honestly wanted to linger over you longer but Soap came in supporting you with your arm over his shoulder “Aye ! Glad to have you back Bonnie. Gave us quite a scare !” he shouts over the loud chopper blades as they both walk in sync to load in.

Ghost lingers a good distance scanning their surroundings before getting into the chopper. He sits across from you, his eyes not leaving your frame. You seem distant... Like your mind was elsewhere yet you tried to remain present in the moment. He couldn’t help but try to read you as you made your best attempt to assure everyone you’re fine. But he could see otherwise. The way your eyes fluttered, how you forced a fake smile that seemed to work on others but couldn’t fool him. He also couldn’t help but notice how your hand instinctively went to touch your stomach.

He squinted his eyes, ‘Did you get hit in the stomach ? Is she hurt ? She didn’t seem bothered when I had my hand there carrying her.’ All these thoughts ran through his mind during the whole flight back. Once they finally returned, you of course tried to brush off that you were fine, yet Ghost wasn’t having it. You were off. He could feel it. He simply gave you a stern look and a sharp tone, “No. You’re getting checked up. End of discussion Sargent.” This made you flinch with his tone, but he had no choice. You wouldn’t have listened to reason no matter how much Soap begged or even asked you. However one thing he did admire you for, as a soldier, you always obeyed orders. You made your way to the med base, his eyes never leaving you as he wanted to make sure you actually headed that direction, yet Soap pulled him from his line of sight. “Gee, LT, didn’t have to be all ‘trict on ‘er.” Ghost side glances Soap with a slight brow raise. Then huff. “I don’t care. She needed to be told. She listened. ‘nough said” Taking his leave before Soap could say anything else he needed to get his mind off you.

Now he stands in front of you, with you barely covered before him. This was different. He could see the traces of bruising form on your shoulder. One was peeking just above your cleavage. His eyes took you in as your drenched form stood in front of him shying away from his line of sight as he was so close to you. He’d give anything to feel you again like before especially as you stand here practically exposed to him. Yet, as much as he wanted to give into his temptations... “I ‘ear you been askin’ ‘round for me,” his eyes scan between yours as you seem to gulp at this, obviously indicating it was true. “But now you loss for words ?” you bite the inside of your cheek, obviously he hit a nerve. Cocking a brow as he saw the strength in your eyes that always made him honestly want to give in. You spoke-“I was….there was something I wanted to tell you,” he tilted his head to the side narrowing his eyes a bit then nods “Well what is it ?” He takes a step back from you, his broad arms crossed as he gazes down at you.

He was leaning close to your ear, you were trembling before him, your hands out pressing onto his hoodie chest. His heart rate spiked from under your touch. Your lips said one thing but your body said something else. He watched you that day talk excitedly about seeing your boyfriend. Yet, he finds you a mess with tear stains avoiding everyone. He knew. He bloody fucking knew it. Your boyfriend was everything he hated and would even compare to as his own father. You who fought everyday, gave yourself willingly, everything as an amazing women and girlfriend. Only for that selfish prick to break it. It boiled him. To see you this way, you were their light. To see you so diminished was something he'd tear the world to bring that shine out in you. He leaned close to your ear “Say the word love. I’m here.” Your eyes looked up at him, oh those doe eyes. He would surrender to that sight in a heartbeat.

You were his weakness…

...but he also learned to see you were also his strength. You mouth slowly began to parts your eyes seemed to show a since of strength ‘Fuck…even when broken she stands strong. This women…’ he didn’t waste a minute crashing his lips onto your trembling lips. They were so plump and soft. You tasted salty from your tears, which he sucked away but the lingering taste of cherry from your lips made him want to devour you more. His hand sneaked down still holding under your chin, while the other unlatched from above the doorframe to rest on your hip. Pulling you closer to him, he could feel your hand slowly slide up his bicep to his neck. The sensation feeling of your soft fingers fleeting over it made him more riled. He immediately let go of his hold on your chin and opened the door to your bunker. He guides you in his hand pushing you in at your hips as he almost guides you to your bed in the corner. You stop just in front of the bed, his hands cupping your cheeks and neck kissing you more fiercely. You’re the one to make the first move, during the intense heat, you begin tugging at his belt loop. He can feel it. Yet-

Being practically naked gripping your towel around your dripping body was definitely not how you imagined telling him about being pregnant, however, maybe you can ask something else- “What happened a month ago... do you regret it ?” perhaps getting some kind of answer will bring out the courage to tell him. You watch for any kind of shift in his eyes yet you barely see much. However his eyes does narrow in on you, you wonder if he sees you’re dodging what’s the real reason you’ve been asking around of his absence. Just when your mind was planning to handle whatever response he gives, everything hit you like a bullet into a vest-

Wrong, because less then two days later he was making his way to the Captains office, knocking on it and telling him of his arrival. With the Captain deeply grunting to come in. What he wasn’t expecting was to see the Captain, stressed ? The man looked exhausted like he was fighting a battle of some sort. He looked as if he was atlas holding the world over his shoulder, every muscle tensed and jaw clenched using every ounce of power to keep going. Then when the Captains eyes met his, and the words came out, Ghost world came shattering. “Y/n, has quit the taskforce…” his eyes went wide, he was a man to hide any emotions but this…he wasn’t expecting you to up and leave. Did you even say bye to everyone? Were you crying your eyes out when you decided it ? But the one question that bothered in the back of his mind was; Was it because of HIM ?

He grunts a bit “Was a one time thing.” His eyes unwavering and stoic as if this is such a silly subject to be bringing up as he decided it was best to burn this bridge before his feelings got worse for you. He could not allow this to become more. He promised- now swore he’ll never get attached and he stupidly did. It was obvious for Soap to see, and if that was the case, how many others would notice too ? “It meant nothing Sargent. We both needed an escape. If this is what you wanted to waste my time for than we are done.” ‘Fuckin’ ‘ell, that should do it…’ he thought to himself, yet what he didn’t expect was to see the tears daring to form in your eyes he simply just stood there, your little fists were gripping the towel so tight your knuckles were white and your jaw was clenched. Yet, he didn’t stop there. He should have. “You’re a burden to this team…we don’t need dead weight. If you can’t get better than your no use to this team.” He said it…damages done.

The words hurt him just as much as it seemed to have hurt you. But instead of lashing out, which honestly he would have preferred you do then maybe he would’ve taken back his words. You… just stood there silent. It was worse than a ticking bomb going off. Your eyes were blazing with anger and he can see your tears wanting to crash down yet you suck in a deep breath, he honestly was expecting the worse, and you just went to grab your stuff. You began changing you didn’t even care if he would be watching or not, of course he wouldn’t dare instead was looking at the sinks only daring to listen to you as you shuffle. In matter of minutes you were dressed, holding your bag about to leave, you hand on the handle yet you stop. Looking at him ,‘Fuck…now I’ve done it. Price gonna rem me for it now’ he thought but instead you look at him with that same strength in your eyes “Good night Lieutenant.” It came out sharp he could hear it the slight venom in it but he didn’t so much aa react. He stupidly just stood there side glancing you before you finally took your leave. He then gazes back at the mirror, seeing his reflection he hated what he was seeing in himself but it had to be done. Maybe when you’ve cooled your head he’ll approach you differently. Perhaps these words would encourage you to do better. Perhaps now he won’t distracted by your alluring presence. Right-?

…

[respectthepetty]

I still feel bad for Top.

And . . . I think he is the only sane one of the group.

Mew - When Top slept with Boston again, no matter how much Top wanted to be Mew's boyfriend, Mew had Top down in the "just talking" stage, so he didn't cheat. Boston even pointed this out. Also, Mew wasn't upset that he has sex, but instead he was upset that it was with Boston.

Boston - Top always has to fight off Boston or give in to him and even he told Boston in the elevator that he is tired of fighting off Boston while Boston told Ray he is just greedy for Top.

Nick - He recorded both Boston and Top having sex, then told Top to leave Boston alone (the audacity). Top even warned Nick that Boston was trash pero Nicolas no le importa.

Sand - Top has tried to let the past stay in the past both times he has encountered Sand in the wild, but Sand has gone left both times and Top has matched his energy. He even tried to get Sand to call a truce, but instead, Sand stole the sex tape off of Nick's phone and gave it to Ray.

Ray - Top knows Ray is in love with Mew, which is partially the reason that Ray hates Top, but I don't know if Ray didn't spill the beans about the sex tape at the party in front of everyone because Mew already knew or because Ray has some level of ethics that these other people lack. Either way, this is why he is my #1.

Chueam - This is a me thing, but homegirl is really strange about Top. She always talks about him being top-tier TO HIS FACE and mentioned Mew losing his virginity to a top-tier guy one too many times for my liking.

YET NONE OF THIS IS EVEN ABOUT TOP!

Top is not seen as a person to any of these people and is a pawn in Boston and Mew's weird competition with each other. We done been knowing this isn't about Top.

This is about Top being the prize trophy in this toxic ass friendship!

Mew doesn't like Top. He likes the idea of Top. Because instead of making the sex about Top, Mew makes it about Boston.

Mew and Boston are two sides of the same damn coin!

Look at Top's face with both of them. He can't wrap his brain around the mental gymnastics these two are doing in order to make everything about each other. Which is why they have continued to use Top as a prop in their Toxic Ass Friends Olympics.

Then, insert Nick and Sand.

Nick is so obsessed with Boston that he Jolene-ed Top which is humorous since Top doesn't understand why anyone would openly want Boston. And Sand is so obsessed with avenging his broken heart (which is ironic that he told Ray to focus on him instead of Mew, yet this shit all went down because Sand was so focused on his EX CHEATING ON HIM that he dragged Ray into his plot for revenge!) that he won't let the past stay dead and buried, but instead decides to walk it around like a pet zombie.

Ray, even though he is in love with Mew, is the only one who got this right.

Top isn't a prize.

He isn't a cheater.

He isn't just a body for sex.

He isn't the villain.

He isn't a pawn.

He isn't a Jolene.

He is an asshole.

Surrounded by a bunch of fucking dicks.

And they all want a piece of him.

[raquellemonsta]

bad idea right? (bokuto x reader)

this has been in the drafts for a while, sorry! it's based off of the olivia rodrigo song of the same name :)

also the osamu x reader is still coming but bokuto just always find his way back into my brain <3

warnings: suggestive themes (nothing explicit), language?

wc: 1670

--------------------

why on earth would you do this to yourself?

you're on your way to your lecture on ancient rome (yay). it's a distribution requirement, and it's one of the only classes that takes attendance, so you have to actually show up to lectures to pass (otherwise you definitely wouldn't). it's just your luck that it's a 9 am, so you have the pleasure of being up bright and early. days like this make you wonder why you didn't just get this class out of the way freshman year. it had seemed pointless at the time, but you were immensely regretting it now that you were one of the only juniors in it.

much like other days you have this class, you make yourself more presentable in an attempt to encourage yourself to not feel half-dead. this mostly entails ditching your normal comfortable sweatsuit for a nicer ensemble. you also opted for some makeup and spent more time on your hair than usual; all to say that even though you feel like death, at least you're smoking hot.

you put your phone away once you reach the building your class is in. walking through the front doors, your eyes immediately fly to a familiar white-gray and black hairstyle.

it had to be him. the even more familiar back all but confirms it.

koutarou, your ex-boyfriend.

you'd broken up with him a few months ago for several reasons, with one being most apparent: you were sick of always coming second to his sport. he was always busy with volleyball, which was something you were willing to accept at first. it became an issue for you when he would stand you up on dates because he had stayed at practice longer than he should've, or when he'd hang out with his teammates more than he did with you.

knowing him, he definitely hadn't been doing these things on purpose. unfortunately, he was entirely oblivious when it came to most things. he can't help the way he is, and you would have felt like a bad person if you asked him to change.

that's why you decided to let him go.

there's still a dull ache in your chest when you think about him. it turns into a painful throb that targets your heart (and something else in your joggers) when you see him in person. you're feeling it now as you try to avert your eyes from him, but it's like there's an invisible force keeping your gaze trained on him.

you breeze past him, turning around to see if he notices you. to no surprise, he's staring directly at you, his gorgeous eyes piercing your soul. he's always had a knack for sensing your presence, though you're the same way with him. every time you see him, your stomach fills with both butterflies and pain.

unfortunately for you, you run into him more than your better judgement would probably wish for. the two of you met by being in a few of the same classes though, so it only made sense that you still see him so much in passing. and that he's in this same lecture because he didn't have the time in his schedule to take it earlier on, which is actually what made you somewhat excited for this class back when the two of you were still together. now it's just a nagging reminder of what you no longer have.

oh, and of course he plays on the renowned men's volleyball team, so it's impossible to avoid his face on the posters that are literally everywhere.

you take a seat around the middle of the class and try to clear your mind from the one man that never seems to leave it. out of the corner of your eye, you see him sitting down on the opposite end of the hall, though in the same row. roughly 20 auditorium seats are between you and your ex. you don't dare to look over until you notice another figure appear on the same side: a relatively cute looking girl sits down merely two seats away from him.

you aren't together anymore, you shouldn't be annoyed at this girl (who was probably entirely innocent, but out of everywhere in the lecture hall she had to sit there?) for just attending class.

but you are.

head now buried in phone, you check the weather app and aimlessly tap on different apps, searching for anything to distract you from this whirlwind of emotions you're feeling.

you look up one last time, to get a better look at the girl of course.

he's already looking at you.

maybe it wasn't a good idea to decline your roommates offer to join them going out. that way, you wouldn't have had so much time alone with your feelings. you certainly wouldn't have access to the box in the bottom of your closet, which holds sentimental items from kou that you haven't been able to bring yourself to throw away.

now, you've pulled that box out and begin to go through it on the floor of your bedroom.

the box is filled nearly to the brim with things he'd given you over the course of your relationship. cards for valentines day and other important occasions, a bracelet he had a matching version of, a stuffed owl he bought because supposedly it 'reminded him of you'. the worst part though were the printed out pictures, polaroids and the like.

staring back at yourself when you were far happier than you are in this moment is like a punch to the gut. the familiar lump in your throat worsens as you flip through more of the pictures, each one reviving memories of fun experiences and reaffirming your love.

the two of you at some random frat party, out to dinner with friends, one taken by a campus photographer that you printed because his face looked totally goofy.

your palms began to sweat when you got to a certain photo.

the picture was taken with one of the team manager's digital cameras, giving a slight fuzzy quality, but you still remember everything about the moment. it was of you and him after his team had won a particularly big tournament. he had been so happy (and sweaty), and ran to find you to see if you saw him. after confirming that you did, in fact, see him and that you were very proud of him, the manager caught you and offered a picture to commemorate the win.

so, your handsome boy wrapped his arms around you and smiled brighter than the sun, causing you to do the same, head comfortably on his chest. this one had always been one of your favorites. kou always loved it too. "my two favorite things in one picture! what's not to like?" he'd say.

those words echo in your mind. he would've been willing to make it work. he had told you as much when you broke things off, but you were clouded by negative emotions at the time.

if you look deep within yourself, you know that you aren't over him. the love you two shared was like no other, even if it had only been for a little over a year.

sometimes, it takes all of your self control to keep yourself from texting his number (which you probably should've blocked by now).

unfortunately, you don't have very much self control today, and your phone is within reach of the mess you've made of the items from the box. your fingers move faster than your brain even can, and when you blink again you're staring directly at a blue message.

'i miss you'

the contact name causes your heart to drop, wondering what just possessed you to send that. you feel your stomach flip and throat run dry, tears threatening to run down your face. three dots suddenly appear and you hold your breath when you see the message.

'i miss you too'

a rogue tear finally falls down from your eye. is this what you want?

'come over?'

your fate is sealed.

you have the entire drive over to think about what it is you're doing. there are several opportunities for you to turn back, but you never do.

no one else, save for him, knows what exactly you're doing. you haven't texted any of your friends to consult with them, because they would probably call you crazy. you're just reconnecting though, what's so wrong with that.

yeah, you're delusional.

pulling into a spot on the street, you stare up at the house of the volleyball team, a place you used to frequent often. it used to fill you with excitement, though now looking at it your heart is pumping anxiety into your chest.

walking up the path, your thoughts are racing.

is this what you want? to be the kind of girl who folds so easily for her ex?

but that's not necessarily who you are, you don't fold easily for your ex.

it's for koutarou bokuto, the love of your life.

he's worth folding a million times over.

maybe that's why you never blocked his number, or threw away the box with memories of him in it. maybe it's the real reason you always spend so much time getting ready for a 9am: you knew you would see him, and you wanted him to see you.

you knock lightly, hands shaking as you do so.

you're praying that one of his other teammates doesn't answer the door. not to say you didn't like his teammates (you did, actually), you just don't trust yourself to follow through if one of them asks why you're there. you'd probably immediately bolt back to your dorm building if that happens.

seeing you tonight…

it's a bad idea right?

when you're starting to regret this, the door swings open. there stands the most attractive man in the world, hair unusually down, likely from just having taken a shower. that would also explain his lack of shirt, leaving him in sweats that you do your best to keep your eyes away from (for now). your favorite part of this entire image is his face, relieved smile and gorgeous eyes perfectly dilated to take you in.

you can't help but crash into his waiting arms.

fuck it, it's fine.

[writegoblin]

I have been severely craving my boy. No no, not Michael. Boseph uwu

Look at him. Unf.

Anyways.

Bo Sinclair Headcanons!

SFW

- You ended up in Ambrose because your car alignment decided it had enough of these off road shenanigans.

- Your reasons for being out that way, for story purposes, are running from your old life. All your old family and friends are shitty so you an conveniently disappear bc smthn smthn deus ex machina

- HOW you find out about your car alignment is another story. Let's just say, tumbling in a car is much more painful than it looks. What's worse is landing in a roadkill pit. Yeah boy. You know what time it is B)

- Lester almost shit himself when you came from over the highway. He thought you were dead and was going to call Vincent when you punched out the front seat. That's hot. Alright stranger, you're coming with me!

- He tries to clean you up and get your name. Takes you back to his place because he doesn't want to catch the twins off guard. But the day you spend there is lovely.

- You get the Ambrose and immediately shits off. Long story short, you become something of a live in maid. They can't kill you because it would be a lot of hassle on their end (another deus ex. You're related to a cop or something idk), and they COULD turn this situation around. Get use out of you.

- Bo likes how witty you are. You don't like to be bossed around which is clearly why you ran away from home (what are you, 10?)

- At first he's very callous to you and makes no effort to understand you. As far as he's concerned, you're another spoiled out of towner, just impeding on he and his brother's strange get rich scheme (more on that later. I'll explain in end notes.)

- What's worse is you're argumentative. Whenever he asks you to do something (read: yells at you), you always gotta talk back. You say funny stuff sometimes but it's annoying mostly. Vincent enjoys it much more than he does.

- You make nice with Vinny first. When you aren't forced to do chores, he lets you help him with the wax. Bo sees this and eventually realizes that while you are certainly mouthy, you are human with like hobbies and shit.

- He's a chef he's a gourmand

- He cooks for he and Vincent because Vincent, due to some brain damage, has a weird palette. So anything he makes either has way too much seasoning, or it tastes like cardboard. Bo on the other hand, grew up running around the streets of Baton Rogue with his friends after school. He KNOWS how to cook good.

- He's also good at first aid. The actual surgery and medical stuff is Vincent's wheelhouse but once you broke your arm trying to fix some shutters he told you to fix. He felt bad so he very gingerly fixed your arm. It healed really nicely but you'll never forget the way those blue eyes of his were so warm when he looked at you, touching the bend in your forearm and his voice, gentle as the day you first met went, "does it hurt?"

- Yeah but you looking at me like that bout to get me pregnant hurts worse sir

- As a boyfriend he's only jealous/protective around tourists. But as a dude in a town with a population of technically 3.5 if you count Lester's visits, he gets it. He does not mind his twin ogling you. He does not mind sharing EVENTUALLY. At first, he's very apprehensive.

- Bo's love language is physical touch. Even nonsexual touch is nice. He likes laying his head in your lap while yall watch TV and you rake your nails through his scalp gently.

- When he gets night terrors he likes to hold onto you in the dark like hope. He puts his face in your chest and he's almost like a little kid for a second. You have no choice but to coddle aw noooo aw man can't believe I have this hot sexy guy in my lap crying ohbhughghh

- If you're pear shaped? He loves your hips. Man, woman, ethereal creature, it don't matter. He was born an ass man he'll die an ass man.

- If you like star gazing, he'll listen to you rattle off about constellations. He likes listening to people ramble about unique special interests because it gives him a little taste of variety in his quiet life.

NSFW

- big. Thick. Cut.

- leftward pitch and he loves doing mating presses.

- much more inclined to rough sex (obviously)

- I do know he likely and unfortunately assaulted those ladies on the wall but in my HCs I like to think it was CNC instead. What stops him from doing the same here is you're too loud and mouthy, so the attraction is initially not there.

- As you soften up because of Vin though, and start opening up and smiling and being cute, he can't help but let his mind roam sometimes.

- Loves fantasizing you in different little costumes to dress up in. A visitor once visited and she was a cam girl! In your size! So lucky!

- please were garter belts this man will not be normal

- Loves intercurral. To punish you if he catches you masturbating, he'll fuck your thighs until he cuts, leaving you all hot and bothered.

- The basement does not come into equation until after the first time. And the first time is more of a gentle, romantic moment of vulnerability.

- Your first time was during a thunderstorm and you were telling him about your past and how so many people hurt you. Abused you. He felt so connected to you. You always held back your anger and he let you express it by throwing stuff and by the end of it you were a sobbing and screaming and laughing mess and he was standing in the debris and he saw himself and he reached out and kissed you in an attempt to ammend himself.

- When he made love to you that night, he decided your ass is never moving out sorry lol

- Exhibitionist. Likes to take you to Baton Rogue for little dates and fucks you in alleys and parks. The most exciting was a drive in theater he took you to where you gave him head. He fucked you in the wooded area outside after.

- PRIESTKINKPRIESTKINK

- Hahaha okay but what if you confessed and he fucked u in the confessional would that be crazy or what

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have a few HOW headcanons actually!

- the boys do the whole house of Wax thing in an attempt to get rich. Bo decided "oh I guess I could be mayor but hm no money here" and he rubbed two cells together and was like "WHAT IF WE MADE AN ATTRACTION THAT WAS THE BESTEST."

- tricked Vin into it cause "they're carrying Mom's legacy :(((( she'd love this trust me we're gonna expand the house into a town it'll be great."

- Lester's there cause he loves his brother's and is also admittedly a bit crazy himself. He's definitely tied a few people up and intimidated people, but that's not his usual job. He's too baby.

- Canonically, where Ambrose is located, it would be a roughly 30 min drive (or 2 hours I forgor lol) to Baton Rogue! So fun fact. They're Baton boys uwu

- I think even though Bo is a good cook, gumbo is Lester's wheelhouse cause he's just got that swagger to him. Like if I met Lester and he was like "do u want me to make you gumbo" I'd say yes, no hesitation.

[winterchimez]

Lip Sync | Ji Changmin

pairing: ex Changmin x f!reader

genre: angst, suggestive

warnings: influence of alcohol, making out scenes, mentions of s*x, bad breakup, cheating, unrequited love (in some way)

word count: 2,751

a/n: so.... i can explain 🤡 what made me wrote this oneshot on a whim was because of Changmin's whisper from the song itself 🫠 (delusional to the max tbh 🙃) but in all honesty this is my favourite track from their latest jp album, and i knew i had to write a fic about it!! i just hope i managed to execute it well according to the lyrics (yall i tried my best ><) feedback would be much appreciated! 🩵

You watched as the clock continued to tick as it reached closer to the hour you were going to be done with this dreaded lecture you were having. 

3… 2… and finally… 1. 

The clock strikes 14:00, and everyone seemingly grabbed the belongings that they had obviously packed way beforehand and rushed out of the lecture hall. You, on the other hand, were in no rush to head to your next destination, which was your accommodations.

As you took your time packing away your things into your backpack, your phone lights up and produces a ding sound, indicating that you have received a notification. You immediately took up your phone that was lying front screen down on the table, and read the notification mentally. 

Hey Y/N, remember this time during 2022? 

Snapchat. Always with the monthly notifications that you’ve never bothered clicking into to see what it was because your college life was never entertaining in the slightest bit. You were a lone girl, and you’ve always preferred staying in the university’s library till late at night and then heading back to the comforts of your accommodations. You were never an outgoing person, so attending social parties was definitely out of the question.

However, for some reason, your brain decides to do the opposite today, as you clicked on the notification, with the thought of just having a quick glance at whatever Snapchat wanted to remind you about. 

Now, you wished you could’ve turned back time and that you’d never clicked into the application in the first place. 

A picture appeared on the exact same date from a year ago, depicting you with your former boyfriend, Ji Changmin.

Honestly, the Y/N from your freshmen year would’ve laughed if she had known that you and the f*ckboy of your university were actually a thing for a good solid 2 years. Ji Changmin was infamous, to say the least. Not only was he a good dancer that has basically contributed to winning several trophies from various dance competitions that were held annually throughout the state, but he was also the face of the university. 

Many students and lecturers admired the way he was. The manner in which he presented himself, those doe-like eyes and how he’s able to put on this adorable yet captivating look that just makes everyone swoon over him? He was a winner for sure. 

Everyone could’ve sworn he was definitely up for the job to take on the role of the president of the student council, given the good grades that he has worked so hard to maintain throughout the years. But the lad always turned the offer down, saying how there were better students up for the role, especially his close bud Kevin or Sangyeon. 

In reality though, what really stood out the most among the students was that he was the infamous f*ckboy in university. Oh, how many girls have given up anything to be able to spend a day with him, or even doing the deed with the man himself. 

You have seen how he was always with another girl almost every other day, and being the goody two shoes that you were, you decided that he was someone you’d rather jump off a cliff than associate with.

That was until a frat party that happened 2 years ago when your assignment mate at the time, Eric, was basically dragging everyone he knew to come to join him. And of course, he had to bring his newly met friend along too because according to him, the more the merrier. 

You came up with so many excuses that night, saying how you were sick or how you had way too many assignments due the next day. But that did not stop the male from actually showing up at your doorstep and basically dragging you into his car, not even letting you have a say in all of this.

So there you were, at your first frat party which you obviously did not enjoy the slightest bit. So many times you’ve tried to avoid everyone like the plague, retreating to the kitchen most of the time to be alone while having the least intoxicating drink you could possibly find. 

Of course, your demeanour that day stood out entirely from everyone else, and that has piqued the interest of the f*ckboy that was watching you ever since the moment you stepped into the party. He had his eyes on you the whole night, desperately waiting for the right moment to hit on you. 

Ji Changmin definitely had to thank the hosts of the party for organizing the infamous beer pong game, for that was when both of you truly came face-to-face with one another. During that time, all of you were split into two different teams, playing the game against each other to see who would win. He was the representative of his team, while you and Eric were the ones for yours.

Apparently, turns out that Eric wasn’t the best at holding his liquor, and he passed out after having 5 shots. Naturally, you had to take on the responsibility of continuing the game. 

You wished so badly that you’d said no that time, for you became tipsy, unknowingly chugging down more than 10 shots for basically losing against Changmin’s team that night. 

As the game ended and everyone was basically minding their own business throughout the apartment, you quickly excused yourself to the bathrooms and tried to calm your spinning head down. 

And there was when Changmin took the chance of visiting you to see with his own eyes, how the girl that has caught his attention throughout the night has become. You were a mess, and that somehow turned the male on even more. 

“Please… I don’t want any trouble….” You whimper.

“Funny you say that because you’re clearly enjoying whatever I am doing to you right now.” 

Both of your arms were pinned up against the cold bathroom walls above your head, and somehow the male ended up leaving trails of kisses all around your neck, while he shoved his legs right in between yours. 

When his lips finally met yours, you seemed to have enjoyed it more than you thought. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but you for sure did not reject that idea and eventually, it turned out to be a steamy make-out session in the bathroom. 

Changmin has made out with multiple women before, yet somehow you just felt so different from the rest. The whole experience? The soft whimpers and moans you produced? Oh, he couldn’t tell you how much they sounded so sweet to his ears, and he craved for more. 

“I just can’t get enough of you.” 

As he began to untie the pretty white lace dress that you were wearing, he couldn’t help but stare at your collarbone as he drops your clothing right onto the ground. He licked his lips, and he couldn’t wait to dwell deeper into his fantasies. 

“People say that I tend to go wild and bite when I’m drunk. Don’t worry sweetheart I won’t do that, unless you’re into that sort of thing.” 

And that was how you ended up with a hickey and a bite mark on your collarbone for a good 2 to 3 weeks. You could only vaguely remember what happened back then, you were too intoxicated to tell from your own perspective. But the male surely did remember every single detail from that session, which was what made him turn his whole interest towards you.

God, he was persistent. He always made the effort to get close to you, while the only thing you wanted was to stay far away from him. But your efforts turned out to be an utter failure most of the time, for he would always be a step ahead of you. 

He somehow got your number and began following your social media accounts and leaving comments on almost all of your pictures, texting you almost every single day, up to sending your random snaps where the male just somehow always manages to get good photoshoot-worthy shots. Honestly, at that time you insisted on blocking the male for good until your assignment mate Eric convinces you otherwise.

“Give it a go, expanding your horizons is what you’re supposed to do in university.” 

You probably would’ve thought that Eric was insane, but later down the line, you realised that you were the one going insane instead. 

Eventually, Changmin decides to get close to you in person, where he’d leave you random post-it notes in your lockers every day and purposely bump into you whenever you both cross paths during lunchtime in the cafeteria. These actions that you once thought to be annoying and intrusive, were slowly turning into ones that you actually enjoyed. 

He was goofy and flirty at the same time, which somehow always manages to put a smile on your emotionless face that clearly indicated how exhausted you were from all the lectures you were dealing with on a daily basis. Eventually, you began to enjoy his company, so when he offered to take you out on your first date, how could you possibly say no? 

Both of you were head over heels for one another, and eventually, the university labelled you both as the new lovebirds of the season. It wasn’t until the 10th date (at least from what you could remember) that both of you finally decided that you both were to become official. 

Of course, it also ended up with having a heated make-out session after having a little too much to drink in his apartment. During that heated moment, Changmin finally took the first step of asking you to be his girlfriend. Being madly in love at that point, you had no reason to say no. 

Instead of giving him a direct answer, you immediately gave him a smile and pulled his face down to your lips till both of you were merely inches apart.

“Just shut up and kiss me already.” 

A bittersweet smile was plastered across your face as you decided to take a seat in your lecture hall. After that Snapchat notification, you unintentionally find yourself to be stalking his Instagram page that you once blocked. 

As you tapped into his icon, you began scrolling through his feed while tears started to form in your eyes. You looked through the dozens of pictures that he posted, and you couldn’t help but to reminisce back on the good old days. 

And that smile of his.  

That smile was something that you’ve grown to become unfamiliar with, it was a thing of the past anyways. 

What exactly happened that made you both parted ways? None of you really knew exactly. 

As both of you eventually reached your senior year, the number of struggles and burdens that you both had to bear was becoming more and more unbearable, which has led the both of you to spend less time together. 

Unfortunately, the struggles were too much to bear for Changmin, and he eventually returned back to his f*ckboy roots, going out and sleeping with a different girl every other day. He did not want you to bear his difficulties while you were already clearly struggling to make ends meet since you provide for yourself, hence he could only vent out his burdens with what he knew best. 

You, on the other hand, were heartbroken, to say the least when you found out that he was doing what he used to in the past before establishing a relationship with you. But eventually, you had to accept the hard truth. 

At the end of the day, f*ckboys will always be f*ckboys. 

As you were lost in your thoughts, your phone suddenly dings which was where you received a new notification, this time from Eric. 

Eric ⚾️: Hey, since finals are over care to join a frat party for tonight? 

Well, since you had nothing better to do and you were basically depressed all over again after reminiscing back on your ex, you immediately took up the offer, in hopes of going for the sake of taking things off your mind for a bit. 

Y/N: Sure, pick me up at 8pm. 

As you turned off your phone and the screen goes dark, you were met with the reflection of your poker face.

Everything is going to be alright. 

So here you were, back at a frat party. You haven’t been in one since the last where your first encounter with your ex happened 2 years ago. 

You just wanted to let things off your mind and basically used this as an excuse to forget about your ex.

Or rather, actually hoping that you’d bump into the male himself. Knowing him, he definitely would not miss out on such an occasion considering his position as the university’s f*ckboy. 

As you make your way around the apartment, sure enough, you found the male on one of the couches, with a random girl he has hooked up with for the night. 

It didn’t take long for the male to notice your presence, perhaps he could feel that a pair of burning eyes were basically directed towards him for some time now.

Not wanting to create a scene, you retreated back to the kitchen, trying your best to find any liquor you could get. Basically, it was kind of an excuse to keep yourself occupied. 

It didn’t take long for the male to present himself in the kitchen, now looking right into your eyes. It has been a good 6 months since you both unofficially ended things, and the tension in the air was awful. 

Not even asking about what both parties have been up to, Changmin immediately broke the tension off by posing a question that seemed a little too harsh for your liking. “We… have no feelings anymore, don’t we?” 

No Changmin. I still love you. After what you’ve done. But, why can’t I say it out loud? 

With the quietness that you returned to him, he slumped his shoulders in defeat and gave this painful smile that you wished you could’ve helped ease.

“Honestly Y/N, you’re too good for me really, for a f*ckboy like me. If there’s someone as similar as you out there, perhaps I could’ve made it work. I guess fate has its plans and you’re just not the right one for me.” 

Don’t say that. 

As the male walks up closer to you, he returns you with a hug, one that you knew that it meant to be the last farewell. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” 

You returned the male with a hug, and you tried so hard to hold back the tears that were basically going to stream down your face full of makeup that you’d done rather beautifully for the night. 

“Don’t worry about me, Changmin. I can never thank you enough for all of the beautiful memories we have made for the past 2 years. Your happiness comes first after all. I’ll be okay.” 

As you both broke off the hug, he decides to give you a quick peck on the lips, and oh how you savoured that short-lived moment. 

If this is really the last kiss, then let me remember it fully, from the shape of your lips to the scent that you gave. 

“You deserve someone better, Y/N.” Changmin pulled away and turned his back as he made his way back into the crowd in the living room. 

Right when he was gone, the tears that you’ve tried so hard to hold back finally poured down onto your face, and you desperately tried your very best wiping them away with your bare fingers. 

I wanted for us to start all over again so badly. But my ultimate decision was to put up a brave face in front of you. 

As you were done wiping the tears away, you made your way towards the exit and decided to take a breather and stroll around the area before heading back to your accommodations on your own before it gets too dark to be dangerous loitering around alone. 

With a huff, you looked up into the dark sky and tried your best to put on a sincere smile. 

Let’s both give our next love with our future significant other a shot. And may we truly find the right person to spend our lives with.

a/n: i'm actually considering to write a oneshot based on Eyes On Me & Door as well, do let me know if any of you would be interested in reading them ><

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @flwoie @hokupi (join my permanent taglist here!)

[bluenotemagpie]

a jake simmonds/mickey smith fic recommendations post

hello, it's me, who for some reason set up camp in this particular corner of rarepair hell back in, like, 2012 and has not left. i've tried, but i live here now. all because i watched age of steel and thought:

there are 80 fics in the jake/mickey tag on ao3, and a handful scattered on ff.net. here are the ones i've returned to over the years. <3

The Spiral by LetThemRot

excerpt:

Harriet Jones is on the tele, like she's been for the last ten nights, saying that yes, the Cybermen are gone (it's taken three years for the information to get out - the factories have been sealed off and uninvestigated for so long that none of the public noticed), and no, it's not information that the public has access to. Everyone should understand this and get on with their lives. The Cybermen have been separate for a long time - now they're just gone for good. Let the authorities handle this.

But she is Jackie Tyler, and she knows the authorities. She's living with three of them.

summary: The Doctor is in one world, Rose Tyler in another, and the Void stretches between them. Life in the days following the Battle of Canary Wharf, told by those stranded in Pete's World.

thoughts: on any given day there is a 50% chance that i am thinking about this fic and chewing on the walls. this was the first jake/mickey fic i ever read and i might have to credit it with how unhinged i am about this ship. it follows rose, mickey, jake, pete, and jackie after the events of doomsday, and it is so canon in my brain that getting through the immediately post-doomsday parts of my own fic was a real challenge because i wanted to just go "look, go read The Spiral and come back, that's what happens." it is in my writer DNA. i could not choose one of the actual jake/mickey parts of the story for the excerpt because i just want you to go read it and experience it. i love it so much.

--

These Conversations We Have by LetThemRot

excerpt:

Rose turns away once Jake presses his lips to Mickey's. It's not the jealousy of what they have, or the daydreaming - so she tells herself - it's the roommate-kissing-your-ex-boyfriend factor. It's not the unfair way that they can be happy and know (roughly) where the other is at all times and whether they're safe. It's just the roommate-and-ex-boyfriend factor - that's all. She plants her chin on a jumper-covered fist and stares resolutely at the screen, not seeing a single atom of it.

summary: Things said and heard in Pete's World. Life is hard when everyone has a different idea of what's right. Post-Doomsday, pre-Journey's End.

thoughts: like the above, this fic is in my writer DNA. rose, queen of burnout, is determined to get the dimension cannon working even if it kills her. rose & jake are besties and flatmates, which is truly a delight because they're both goddamn disasters. this is also a fic which doesn't shy away from how - even if jake & mickey get their shit together and decide to date - the ghost of ricky smith will never be easily disregarded.

--

Not Made of Tin by Nope

excerpt:

Three years before this, he comes awake, startled into the sudden chill of the back of the van. He can't hear, can't remember the noise that brought him out of the dark into this bleary half-light, tinted, smeared windows and Jake snuffle-snoring in the front seat, but there are seabird screeches and the faint rough hum of traffic and he has the strangest craving for ice-cream, proper fake soft Mister Whippy style ice-cream, all chemicals and sugar buzz cold. They should sell that on the sea-front, he reckons. That's what people do, even in foreign parts. Assuming they even have ice-cream in this damn dimension and, if they don't, he's going to invent it and make a fucking fortune. How hard can it be?

thoughts: this is a dark fic - I'd add a warning about non-con & rate this E - but it also has some really excellent, prickly characterization & an intriguing narrative structure. ymmv depending on your tolerance for the aforementioned warnings. but i love fics that put the characters' flaws front & centre, so on the list it goes! (this was also written in 2009, so there's some ableist language that wouldn't fly today, fwiw.)

--

Guy Fawkes Has Nothing on Us by misspamela ( @miss-pamela on tumblr)

excerpt:

It was three days before Mickey got himself together enough to freak out.

He woke up an hour after he'd gone to sleep, with Jake sitting first watch up front and the communications equipment turned down to a dull hum. The van was dark, not the dark of his room at home, ringed with fluorescent lighting, and not the whirring, yellowish dark of the TARDIS. Cold dark. Alien dark.

Next thing, he's thrashing about and yelling, knocking wires and ammunition to the floor.

"You're not losing it, mate?" Jake scrambled into the back of the van.

All Mickey can think of to say is, "I've never even been to Greece."

thoughts: this hits my favourite tone of "lighthearted banter with some emotions & growing fondness" <3 i'm very fond of fics where there's clearly an action movie plot happening in the background, but that's not the focus dammit the feelings are the focus

--

Rain Like Ghosts by carolinecrane

excerpt:

Jake shifted against him, somehow moving closer without touching any more than he had to. Like he was afraid what Mickey would say if he noticed how close they were. Like it would be possible for Mickey to miss it. And it was probably just as well the French blokes had given them a room of their own, because Jake's arm had landed on top of him somehow and his hand was pressed against Mickey's chest, heat radiating from his fingers and making Mickey feel in a way he hadn't for a long time.

thoughts: god bless carolinecrane for writing many of the fics in the jake/mickey tag. idk where you are now but i salute you 🫡 in any case, who can resist a "there was only one bed" fic

--

Birds by carolinecrane

excerpt:

He liked the way Mickey kissed him -- different from Ricky, less intense but sweeter somehow -- and he liked that Mickey needed him more than Ricky ever had.

He didn't think much about what that said about him until Rose crashed back into Mickey's life, dragging her mum with her and suddenly Mickey didn't need Jake so much anymore. And he'd never really thought of himself as selfish until Jackie and Rose turned up, but as it turned out, he didn't like having to share.

thought: you might be noticing a recurring theme, which is that i really enjoy fics where jake is a bit of a bastard. this one is set around the trip to bad wolf bay & is very cute

--

sorry for the runner-up by carolinecrane

excerpt:

"Look, mate, I know it's different for you and me. You and Ricky…well, it was different, anyway."

"We got shot at a lot less," Jake says, and Mickey knows he's trying to be funny, but he doesn't feel much like laughing.

"Maybe that's your problem."

"You think I should get shot at more?"

thoughts: jake's "you think I should get shot at more?" joke to avoid discussing his own feelings is so canon to me that i did end up putting a reference to it into my own fic while editing a chapter recently. mickey's down bad in this fic, which is sometimes a challenge when you're stuck together in the back of a zeppelin. 10/10 very fun times

(carolinecrane has other v good jake/mickey oneshots, but these three are my favourites!)

--

Possibilities, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bananas by rosa_acicularis

excerpt:

“Suppose I don’t have to ask how it went last night, do I?” Pete Tyler said from the doorway. Unconsciously, both Mickey and Jake straightened in their chairs.

Rose gave him a wan smile. “He was an idiot.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Pete replied evenly as he walked to the coffeemaker, ceramic ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug in hand. Rose and Mickey exchanged an amused look; a man as powerful as Pete Tyler hardly needed to fetch his own coffee, much less travel the three floors down to Recovery and First Contact to get it. Yet two or three days a week he spent his five minutes of precious free time with a woman who was not his daughter, a man who was not her boyfriend, and a man who may (or may not) have been his boyfriend. Pete poured his coffee and sipped at it gingerly. “So,” he said, leaning back and resting his elbows on the counter just as Rose had done moments ago. “Should I be forming a taskforce to deal with an imminent invasion of alien fruit and veg?”

“No,” Mickey said.

“Maybe,” Rose said.

Pete looked to Jake, who shook his head. “I’m just sitting here, reading my paper. I am opinionless.”

“Spineless,” Mickey muttered, and Jake arched an eyebrow in his direction. Rose watched them and sighed inwardly; their epic saga of will-they-won’t-they had recently resolved itself (to neither man’s satisfaction) as they-will-but-just-the-once-because-apparently-they-are-both-idiots. They rarely let the tension interfere with their working camaraderie, but it was beginning to get under her skin nevertheless.

thoughts: genuinely one of my fave fics. rose-centric, takes a different path from journey's end. all the character relationships are spot-on and crack me up, including rose's little brother - HOLD ON I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE AUTHOR HAS A BUNCH MORE DOCTOR WHO FICS, BRB I GOTTA GO READ THEM ALL RIGHT NOW

--

Interlude (The Space Between Breaths) by freefall

excerpt:

Later, when the fight is over and the wounds are bandaged, and it’s just you and Mickey again in the hull of an abandoned warehouse, the only light coming from some flickering candles and the only warmth from the slow heat of cheap gin in your stomach, is when he asks. ‘Course he asks, and you realize that somewhere along the way he had learned you just as well as you learned him (and how is that even fair when he didn’t have the advantage of knowing his parallel universe self, but he did it anyway. Bloody Mickey.)

thoughts: this fic fucking slaps. i don't read a lot of second-person stuff, but the second-person here has such a strong voice to it. short but sweet with a lot of that good good subtext.

--

a parisian sunset by @lesbiandonnanoble

excerpt:

Jake pulled his thermos out of his bag. In the middle of winter, with just a van and just the two of them, it really was the only source of warmth. It usually held some kind of tea - spiked, more often than not - or cider. He unscrewed the cap, which also functioned as the mug, and filled it up. He looked down at it, swirled the liquid around in the cup, and passed it to Mickey. “Cheers.”  Mickey didn’t know what Jake wanted him to do. Logically, it was a drink for him. He should drink it. But there was only one cup, and Jake had been very hesitant to share anything with him insofar. Did Jake want to share it? “For me?” he asked.  Jake laughed. “Yes, man. You look cold.”

thoughts: CUTE SHIT. i love a good jake-and-mickey-have-emotions-in-paris fic. and as someone who gets cold very easily, i'm obsessed with helping people get warm as an act of love.

--

so there we have it! the jake/mickey fics that have haunted my brain like my mind is a cursed cathedral!! my own fic is still a WIP - it's a long one, currently going through edits - but you can check out the beginnings of the first draft here if you want more. or i post about it with the my dw magnum opus tag, because i have had this fic rattling around in my brain for over a decade and was finally compelled to put it to paper.

happy reading! <3

[kinzis-writing]

Only Exception Pt. 4 | Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd

Summary: After almost two years of being together, Y/N had only met Bob’s family once. Turns out the next holiday her boyfriend had off was Christmas and it just so happens that he has an important question to ask the Mitchell girl and the girl has a surprise for him.

Warning(s): mentions of marriage, mentions of pregnancy, maybe a few cuss words, mentions of alcohol, spending time with in-laws (not really a warning but sometimes it should be.), Mentions of sexual activities, mentions of clingy ex.

Series Masterlist: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four 

*Not Edited!* 

*Not my Gif! sorry if I wasn’t suppose to use it.* *Also I got the names of Bob’s family from another post I saw on Tumblr. I am not trying to copy and I would definitely give the person credit if I remembered their name!* 

It had been almost two years since the mission that had Y/N on the highest dose of anxiety medication. Since then, Bob hadn’t been on too many suicide missions. That didn’t mean that he got any free time off work, but neither did Y/N. The Mitchell girl had worked at the base for six months and decided not to renew her contract with the navy. She had actually packed up and moved wherever Bob went. That is why she became a travel nurse; the pay was slightly better than a stationed nurse and she had a contract that allowed her to follow her boyfriend around whenever he had to be stationed all over the country. 

“Good morning.” Y/N mumbled as she looked up and noticed Bob checking his phone. The couple knew that they had a flight to catch in order to make it home for Bob’s family’s Christmas. 

“Good morning.” Bob replied sitting his phone down and turning his attention towards his girlfriend. “How’d you sleep?” he asked softly as his hand rubbed up and down y/n’s arm. 

“Amazing.” She mumbled as she sat up slightly to lean over his body, the sheet going with her to keep her naked body hidden from the morning air. “I needed all of that last night.” she mumbled as she leaned closer to his lips. “The shared bath, the massage, the orgasms, just being with you.” she murmured before gently pressing her lips to her boyfriend’s. 

“I’m glad I could help you relax.” He whispered once the two pulled out of their kiss. “We have to get ready if we’re going to make it to the airport on time.” he mumbled. 

Y/N nodded before sitting up fully and getting out of bed. She grabbed her clothes that she laid out the previous night and headed towards the shared bathroom. She would never admit it, but she was nervous. It had been forever since she met his family, and she wasn’t sure if they liked her or not. Given, it was a short visit so his family didn’t really get to know her as in depth as they would have liked. This time the couple would be spending a full week with the Floyd family and that was why she was so anxious. She didn’t have to try to impress them the last time she saw them, now she had to make sure that she didn’t do anything to make his family hate her. 

“Baby, we have to leave in ten minutes.” Bob called out from the bedroom. The man knew that it would be Y/N’s first time not spending Christmas with her father, she had expressed how she was fine with going to visit his family instead of the pair spending the holiday with Penny and Pete. 

“I’m done.” Y/N spoke as she walked out of the bathroom. “so, for anxiety reasons, who all am I going to have to impress?” 

Bob let out a small laugh before racking his brain for everyone that is going to be there for Christmas. “My mom and dad, obviously.” he stated as he was silently making a list. “My sister, My brother, My aunt and uncles, and My sister might let Elaine come.” Bob stated before walking over to his girlfriend and letting a small smile grace his face. “I just want to tell you before we get home, that Elaine and I have some history. It’s nothing serious... but she seems to keep holding on to what happened in high school before I joined the Navy. I gave my sister specific instructions to keep her away the first time you met them because you are important to me.” 

Y/N nodded taking everything he said in, “So what’s different about now?” The Mitchell girl asked as she raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend. 

“The difference is that I know for a fact that nothing can come between us now, I was still a bit insecure in our relationship back then.” He mumbled causing Y/N to smile bigger than she had during the whole conversation. 

“Were you scared to lose me, LT. Floyd?” She teased before kissing his cheek and walking around him to pack her toothbrush that she had just used in the bathroom. 

“Actually, I was.” He admitted before grabbing their bags and heading out to the vehicle. 

** 

The flight was not as long as Y/N expected, and they were in Bob’s hometown. The first time the girl had met his family, she was shocked to know that Bob was a bit country. His family lived on a ranch, and she thought it was beautiful. It seemed so peaceful and quiet, having all that land to do whatever you wanted with. 

“I love this place,” Y/N spoke out as their rental car arrived at the ranch. There were already quite a few cars in the driveway of the house. “It seems so peaceful to be surrounded by nature.” 

Bob was over-the-moon about how well his girlfriend liked where he came from. Given, he knew that she liked nature and there was plenty of it on their property Once the car was in the park, the couple got out and grabbed their items from the trunk. Y/N let Bob walk in front of her because of it being his house and she didn’t feel comfortable just walking in. “Mom, Dad?” Bob yelled once he opened the door and came in without knocking. The chattering in the kitchen halted upon hearing Bob’s voice and the sound of footsteps heading towards the beginning of the room couldn’t be missed. 

“Robby!” A high-pitched voice squealed as Bob got tackled in a hug. That made him have to regain his balance. The strong smell of cotton candy wafted over to Y/N which caused her to crinkle up her nose.

“Elaine, what did I tell you?” Bob’s sister spoke up as she got in sight of what was happening. “He has a girlfriend, if you’re going to act like that just go home.” She spoke up again while rolling her eyes. The younger girl gave Y/N a small apologetic smile before yanking her best friend off her older brother.

“It’s good to see you Bub,” Reagan spoke as she walked up to her older brother and pulled him into a hug. “Nice to see you again, Y/N.” She added as she pulled the girl into a hug. “Ignore Elaine, she’s had her mind set on marrying Robert since they dated in high school.” she whispered before pulling away and giving the couple a smile. 

“Good to have you back, little brother.” Bob’s older brother Sean spoke pulling Bob into a hug and nodding at Y/N with a smile on his face. “Nice to see you again, Y/N. We’ll get to know more about each other during your stay.” He added before heading back into 

“I’ll take our bags to my old room.” Bob spoke as he picked up all the bags. “where’s mom and dad?” he asked his sister as he passed her.

“They went to the store for last minute items that mom forgot she needed.” Reagan spoke as she followed behind Bob but turned into the kitchen instead of going to his old bedroom.

“So your Y/N? The girl that everyone talks so highly about?” Elaine asked like she was trying to size the girl up.

“I guess so.” The Mitchell girl replied before heading in the direction where Bob went.

“Don’t be fooled,” Elaine started causing Y/N to roll her eyes but she stopped to face the desperate girl anyway. “Bob promised me a future too.” She stated before prancing off into the kitchen.

Y/N walked into Bob’s old room where he was putting his clothes away in his old closet. The younger girl was rubbing her temples before plopping down on her boyfriend’s bed. “What’s up?” Bob sighed as he stopped what he was doing and joined his girl on the bed.

“You really did a number on Elaine, huh?” Y/N muttered while she laid her head over on Bob’s shoulder. The jet lag was starting to set in, and the annoying voice of the girl downstairs was making the girl have a headache.

“Believe it or not we weren’t that serious. We dated for like four months and then I graduated and decided to go to the navy. She begged for me to marry her so she could say she was married to someone in the military.” Bob explained as he laid his head over on hers. “I didn’t see a point in marriage. I tried to love her but I couldn’t.”

“What about now?” Y/N asked quietly as her nerves set in. The couple hadn’t really talked much about marriage, but they had painted a picture of their future together. “Your view on marriage, I mean.” She whispered.

“I see us getting married.” He answered softly as his hand grabbed hers “I’ve never loved someone as deeply as I love you. Even if we broke up now, you’ve already ruined me, Y/N.”

Y/N let out a small huff and snort mix, “yeah right, bobby.” she muttered as she glanced up at him and noticed his blue eyes staring a hole through her. “I promise you that I am not that special, there are millions of girls out there better than me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” The wso replied as he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his girl’s lips. The couple heard the door open, and voices pick up. The shuffling around and sound of grocery bags were enough to make Bob grab Y/N’s hand and head out of his room 

“We noticed the car in the driveway, did Bob and Y/N get here?” A sweet lady’s voice asked as Bob’s siblings started talking amongst themselves.

“We made it about 30 minutes ago.” Bob spoke up as he walked into the kitchen with the Mitchell girl’s hand intertwined with his. Irene and Joe walked over to hug their son before Irene pulled Y/N into her embrace. 

“It’s so great to see you, honey.” Irene smiled as she pulled away from the hug she started. “I hope my son’s been treating you right.” She stated with a knowing look. Some how her statement sounded like a question in a way. 

“He’s been great, perfect, really.” the Mitchell girl spoke as her cheeks got a bit red. She never liked being put on the spot and knowing that this Christmas will determine if Bob’s family likes her was enough to make her double check herself. 

The rest of the evening was spent with Bob and his family catching up. Irene getting to know Y/N before the girl excused herself after dinner and headed to bed. Claiming the Jet lag had gotten ahold of her but she’d be up for more bonding time tomorrow. 

“I can come with you.” Bob offered starting to stand up before she ushered him to sit back down. 

“No, spend time with your family.” Y/N insisted. “You can come to bed later. I’m just going to call my dad and tell him that I made it, before going to sleep.” She assured. 

That’s what the girl did, she went to Bob’s old room and called Pete so he wouldn’t worry from not hearing from the girl. After talking to her father she had laid in bed and slowly drifted off to sleep. Bob had come to bed around 10 pm and carefully climbed in his bed to not wake up his girl. 

*2 Days Later*

Over the last two days the Floyd household had gotten pretty full. It was now Christmas Eve and everyone was getting ready for the evening dinner and then the first round of presents. The second round of presents would come tomorrow morning, something that Bob’s aunt and uncles came up with to encourage their kids to go to bed early. 

“Mrs. Floyd, I can help you if you want to go open presents with your kids.” Y/N offered as she stepped into the kitchen. Bob’s aunt and uncle were trying to settle everyone down. “I can hold the food down until you get done.” she explained a bit better as she walked over to where she was fixing a pre-dinner. Something that Y/N didn’t know about, the fact that they have a big dinner on Christmas and a medium dinner the night before. She wasn’t used to big dinners, honestly. 

“No, Hunny, they can wait. You have to open your presents too.” Bob’s mom told the younger girl as she started on her potatoes. “and please, call me Irene.” 

Y/N was confused about why she would have presents under the tree. She had only met Bob’s family once before this and they only stayed for a day. No one really got to meet her and get to know her. “Bob and I aren’t exchanging gifts until in the morning. So I can really take it off your hands.” She offered again softly. 

Irene gave the girl a smile. “Did you know that you are the first girl that Robert has ever brought home since he joined the navy? He’s told us about a few girlfriends but later he ended up telling us that he didn’t see a future with them.” Y/N’s shocked expression stayed on her face for a moment before she came to her senses. “That tells me that you’re important to my son and so Joe and I bought you a few presents too. We never like anyone to feel left out.” 

The Mitchell girl felt herself blush before glancing through the door into the living room. Bob was in there playing with some of the kids that had showed up this morning. They were his cousins and she heard him apologize not knowing that his entire family would be here and not just the usual. Y/N understood, he was home from the Navy and that wasn’t a common thing. “I love him, a lot.” She spoke up as Bob met her eyes and gave her a smile. She finally turned around towards her boyfriend’s mom again and let Bob go back to what he was doing. “I hate to ask and I trust Bob completely, but what’s the story behind Elaine?” She whispered so no one would risk hearing her. 

Irene huffed a bit before thinking about the problematic girl that Reagan had brought to Christmas this year. The older woman knew that Elaine never stood a chance when Bob was bringing Y/N around his family. Not that she stood a chance anyway. “I don’t even know why Robby dated her in the first place, he wasn’t interested in her. Maybe he just wanted to have some experience before he went out in the world.” Irene huffed making Y/N cringe at the news that those two were probably each other’s first. “They broke up when he joined the navy, she kept on pushing for them to get married since he would be away all the time. He kept telling her that he didn’t want to settle down at that young age. I mean he was freshly 18. He hadn’t really got to experience other relationships.” 

“Was she in love with him or just obsessed?” Y/N asked softly as she helped the older woman put all the food in the rightful place. Dinner was basically done now and they just needed to get the plates and silverware out. 

“Both, i guess. I’m not clear on that.” Irene answered before she turned to the younger girl that she knew held her son’s heart. “He loves you, Y/N. so so much. I can tell by the way he acts around you.” 

Y/N went to answer before a voice interrupted their conversation, “What are you two talking about?” Bob asked softly as he entered the kitchen and went over to his mother and girlfriend. 

Irene sent a wink to the Mitchell girl before leaving the kitchen to go get the rest of the family. Bob raised his eyebrow at his girlfriend as he waited for her to talk. “You need a hair cut, ya know.” Y/N stated as a smile grew on her face. 

“You aren’t going to tell me?” Bob asked before he kissed her cheek. 

“Not a chance, Lt.” The girl laughed as the family started gathering in the kitchen to get ready to eat. 

* 

“I’m sorry my family went all out on those gifts,” Bob sighed as he ran a hand over his face. “I didn’t tell them what you liked so if you don’t like them, then we can do something.” 

“Babe, it’s the thought that counts. But they were lovely.” Y/N honestly wasn’t expecting to receive what she did from the Floyd family. You could tell that they spent the same money on you as they did Bob, which was crazy since he was their son. “I love you, you know.” She told him even though she knew that he knew how she felt.

“I love you.” Bob mumbled before pressing his lips to hers.

**

The couple woke up to the smell of lunch already cooking. Y/N could smell the ham and turkey baking as she looked over at the clock on bobs nightstand. 10:49 lit up in big red letters causing the girl to furrow her eyebrows at how she slept so long. “Bobby.” She whispered as she turned around in his arms so she was facing him. “Babe.” She mumbled again.

“Mhm?” He questioned as he stretched. The sheet falling down his shirtless chest, evidence of their previous activities. “Is it really 10:52?” He asked as his eyes caught the clock.

“That’s why I was trying to wake you.” Y/N mumbled as she got out of bed and put her undergarments back on and grabbed her outfit for Christmas out of her bag. “I have to put on light makeup, I’ll be down in a minute.”

Bob got ready and headed down to his family that was waiting in the kitchen and living room. Y/N quickly put her makeup on and did her hair so she looked decent and left the room. Y/N knew that she needed to talk to Reagan before everyone started opening gifts. Mainly because she needed to know if what she felt was true was accurate.

*

Two pink lines popped up instantly on the test that Y/N was holding. Reagan had taken the girl to the store with a few questions asked along the way. Turns out Irene had forgotten a condiment from the store and needed that as well.

“So?” Reagan mumbled from outside her private bathroom. She had noticed what the Mitchell girls bag held and immediately wanted to know if she was going to be an aunt or not.

Y/N walked out of the bathroom with her hands trembling, “it’s positive.” She spoke, the words sounding foreign to her. She carefully handed the test over to Reagan.

Before either of the girls could say anything else, the Floyd girls bedroom door opened and Sean walked in with Elaine behind him. “Mom’s been looking for you two.” Sean spoke up before looking down in his sisters hand. “Is that?” He asked looking between the two girls.

Reagan and Y/N looked at each other as the Mitchell girl was pleading with her eyes to take the fall. Reagan understood that the other wanted to tell her brother before the rest of his siblings or family. “It’s mine.” Reagan spoke up. “It’s negative.” She added before walking in her bathroom and throwing it away. “Those one night stands getcha sometimes.” She added as she ushered everyone out of the room.

“Thank you.” Y/N whispered as she passed her boyfriends sister.

The four joined the family down in the kitchen. The kids were already eating and other family members had started a line around the kitchen. Bob was nowhere to be found in the kitchen, which made Y/N sneak away from the rest of his family and wonder off to his bedroom.

“No, Natasha. I can’t talk right now.” Bob was whispering when Y/N quietly entered the room. You could tell that he didn’t hear his girlfriend come in. “she doesn’t know, and rooster can’t know either. why? because he’ll kill me.” Bob mumbled. “If either of them knew what we have been doing this last year, rooster would kill me, and I don’t even want to know Y/N’s reaction would be.” the slightly younger girl felt tears well in her eyes. Of course, it was partly her pregnancy maybe, but the fact that Bob sounded suspicious had her worried. She never once doubted him, not in slightest, so why did this all sound like cheating to her. 

“Babe,” Y/N called making herself known. She was hoping that she was masking the worriedness and sadness on her face. “Your mom is wanting us.” 

“Listen, I have to go. Talk to you later.” Bob hung up the phone and walked towards his girlfriend. “Sorry, Bradley called. Apparently, them two are having some troubles.” 

If there was one thing that Y/N Mitchell picked up from Pete, it was how to hide emotions. Something that he had been good at since Goose’s death. “I hope they work it out.” She mumbled as Bob intertwined their hands together before they left his room. 

After everyone ate it was time for presents and that is when Bob and Sean took the gator to go check on some animals. Y/N sat alone in the corner until she was joined by Elaine. The Mitchell girl dreaded what was to come, but she knew that she wouldn’t make a scene. It was Christmas after all. 

“What’s wrong?” Elaine asked softly. The annoying sound in her voice completely gone. “I know, I was bitch earlier... I just wanted to see if Robert was serious. I am sorry for how I acted.” She apologized making Y/N give her a small smile. 

“Even though I probably shouldn’t trust you, I heard a strange conversation between Bobby and a mutual friend of ours. It honestly sounded like they had been cheating on me and my brother with each other.” Y/N mumbled as she watched the kids go crazy over their gifts. 

“The positive pregnancy test in Reagan’s trash can has nothing to do with your feelings?” Elaine asked softly and quietly. Y/N’s eyes widen slightly as she turned away from the girl. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” 

“Reagan told you it was hers.” Y/N stated as she felt the nerves act up and her hands get clammy. 

“I have been out with Reagan everywhere; we are best friends after all. She hasn’t hooked up since her ex-boyfriend. That was way too long for her to want to take a test.” the younger girl explained. 

“I haven’t told him yet.” Y/N mumbled as she played with her fingers. 

“I know. If it helps, Robert is head over heels for you. Whatever you heard had to be a mistake. He’s always been loyal to everyone, even if he wasn’t happy.” She whispered as the two boys entered the room. 

The two girls gave each other a smile as Sean asked to speak with Elaine for a moment. Bob had joined his girlfriend in the spot that his ex-girlfriend had left. 

“What was that about?” Bob asked softly as he grabbed your hand. 

“She was apologizing.” Y/N said before turning towards Bob. “We need to talk.” 

Bob nodded before he stood up and offered his hand for Y/N. She grabbed his hand and stood up. “I want to take you somewhere.” With that the couple made their way out of the house and to Joe’s gator that was sitting outside. “I know you said that you love how peaceful it is here, so I want to show you around for a bit.” Bob said as he helped her up in the UTV. 

The couple made their way away from the ranch house. Y/n honestly thought that he would stop and show all of the animals that he took care of as a kid and so on. That’s not what he was doing at all, and she realized it once they passed all the animals and headed towards a trail in the wood lining. She figured now was as good as any to ease into the natasha talk. She didn’t want to come straight out and accuse him of cheating, it wouldn’t be like either of them. “It’s crazy, isn’t it?” she asked softly as she took in the beautiful scenery. 

“what is?” Bob asked softly as he drove carefully on the trail. 

“How we’ve been together for so long.” Y/N stated as she looked down at her freshly polished finger nails. “I almost figured you and Natasha would have eventually ended up together.” she whispered but loud enough for Bob to hear her. 

The Floyd boy let out a laugh, “She’s like another sister. I am head over heels in love with you, Y/N/N. I already told you that you have ruined me and i meant that.” 

Y/N felt a bit at ease, but she knew that her worry would still be there until she figured out why he was calling Natasha in secret. It was still a bit of an uneasy feeling. “I have something I really need to tell you-” Y/N started only to cut herself off when the trail ended at what seemed to be a hunting cabin. The cabin had lights hung up around it and the porch was decorated beautifully. 

“I want to give you a tour and then you can let me know if you’d like to stay out here tonight.” Bob spoke before getting out of the gator and then heading towards the other side to help his girl out. ‘I thought we could use some alone time.” 

Y/n gave her boyfriend a smile before waiting for him to open the cabin door. It wasn’t very big, but you could tell that it was made for a hunting party or maybe even birthday parties for the Floyd’s. 

“This is the living room space, it isn’t much but the couch does pull out into a bed.” He explained. “Then the kitchen is over here, it isn’t anything fancy, but I already stocked it up with your favorite snacks.” He blushed a bit making y/n squeeze his hand. “In this room is an extra bathroom and this one is the extra bedroom. bunk beds. And then the master bedroom.” He stated as Y/n felt his hands start to sweat a bit. “Open it.” he urged softly. 

Y/N gave him a look before grabbing the door handle and twisting the doorknob. Pushing the door open, a small gasp left her lips as her hand came to cover her mouth. She felt her eyes watering up as Bob stepped in front of her slightly. The room was covered in rose peddles, had blackout curtains hung up so the candles and fairy lights were the only lights in the room. Mini letter lights spelled out “Marry Me?” on the bedside table. 

“Y/N, I have loved you since you took notice of me in the hard deck. I thought you were beautiful when you came over to greet Bradley and I wasn’t expecting this to go anywhere because you are way out of my league. How i managed to get you and keep you is out of my knowledge. I love you so much and i know that I want to be with you forever. Will you please do me the honor of marrying me?” Bob asked. 

Y/N could sense his nerves and she knew there was a lot more that he wanted to say. She knew what her answer was even if he didn’t get everything he wanted to say out in the open. “of course, Bobby.” She mumbled as tears came down her face. Bob slipped the shiny diamond ring on her finger before standing up and pulling her in for a kiss. “I love you so much.” 

“You still have a few more presents at the house, so we should probably get going.” Bob mentioned after he placed another kiss on his fiancee’s lips. 

“Were you serious about staying here tonight?” She asked bob as he nodded, ‘because I would love to celebrate alone with you tonight.” she mumbled. 

The ride back to the ranch house was silent. The two were just enjoying each other’s peaceful company before the Floyd household would start celebrating. Y/N had no idea that one of Bob’s Christmas presents were waiting for her back at the ranch house to congratulate her. Of course, Bob asked Maverick for permission before he proposed. He asked him months before he even asked, he wanted the time to be perfect and he knew the Floyd hunting cabin would be the perfect place. That’s when he knew it would be around Christmas time.

“I’m ready to go spend the night with you.” Y/N whined slightly as her left hand made its way to the back of Bob’s head as they pulled up to the house.

“You can in about three hours.” Bob mumbled. He then grabbed her hand and gave it a kiss before getting out and helping her out of the gator. “Your next present is right through that door.” He mumbled kissing her head.

Y/N gave her fiancé a small smile while shaking her head. “You’re something else, Floyd.” She stated as she walked into the house first. The multiple shouts of “congratulations!” And balloons flying everywhere made the girl jump. Before she noticed what bob was talking about.

“Congratulations, sweetheart.” The older man said as he opened his arms for his daughter to come give him a welcoming hug. “How did my little girl get grown up so fast.?” He mumbled with his voice growing in sadness.

“Time flies.” Y/N mumbled pulling away from Maverick. “I’ll always be your little girl.” She added as she wiped the tears from her face and her father did the same. Maverick never liked showing emotion in front of anyone and over the years he had slowly been okay with showing emotion in front of Penny, Y/N, and Bradley.

“I know you will.” He nodded before Bradley pulled the girl into a hug.

“Brownie, don’t mess up the hair.” Y/N groaned as she shoved her brother figure off of her playfully.

“Here I thought I’d be married before you.” He shook his head.

“Grow a pair and maybe you still can.” Y/N winked as she playfully hit him. The girl then looked over and saw Natasha beside Bradley wearing a smile on her face. She nodded at the girl, still feeling uneasy about the situation earlier. She quickly turned around and wrapped her arms around bob. “Thank you so much. It means a lot that you’d ask my dad and brother to fly out here.”

“Anything for you.” He mumbled before pulling her into a kiss. “I love you so much.”

*a few hours later*

After opening presents from everyone, the families all made their way to bed. Bradley, Natasha, and Maverick was staying in a guest loft inside an extra barn that the Floyd’s had used for their stable men. With Joe being retired, they didn’t need to hire anyone to help with animals anymore so the loft was left unused and was cleaned up for Y/N’s family to come stay in.

Y/N and bob had made their way to the cabin about 30 minutes ago, where Bob had immediately drawn the couple a bath to unwind. That’s where they were, in a soaker tub (which was a new upgrade) and relaxing against one another. The bubbles covered their bodies as Y/N’s back laid against Bob’s chest.

“So, did you propose to me in the room you lost your virginity in? Cause if so, very classy Lt. Floyd.” Y/N joked with a laugh and intertwined her left hand with his hand. His fingers playing with the ring on her finger.

“No, you were actually only the third.” He admitted honestly. Most people had the talk before getting engaged but it didn’t bother the couple. They knew that they were each other’s forever and that’s what mattered.

“Elaine?” She asked expectantly.

“Never did.” Bob spoke softly. “I wasn’t very popular and I wasn’t the one that people went for. One night stands were never my thing. I was 21 when it happened. It was with someone I thought I loved, but now I know that I didn’t know what love was. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, that’s how I know you’re my forever.”

Y/N turned her face up so she could look at her handsome man. “I lost mine at 18.” She mumbled before placing a kiss on his jaw. “It was someone I almost married, he was in the army, turns out he knocked up another girl while I was engaged to him so, that’s why that ended.”

Bob’s hand came up and rubbed over her jaw line as he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “That’ll never happen with me.” He promised.

“I have to ask you something,” y/N whispered so she wouldn’t cause tension. “I heard you on the phone with Natasha, earlier and you lied to me and said it was Bradley.” she started. She could see bob’s gears shifting in his head, trying to see where this was going. “You said that Bradley would kill you and that you wouldn’t wanna see my reaction if I found out what you two were doing.”

“Did you think I was cheating on you?” He asked carefully as he noticed panic in Y/N’s eyes. “Baby, it was Natasha helping me buy things for the proposal and ring. I told her not to tell Bradley that I asked for her help instead of his for ring shopping. I also didn’t wanna see your reaction if you found the ring before I was ready because I really wanted it to be special.”

Y/N gave him a small smile, “it was my anxiety, it wasn’t me in general. I know you’d never do that.”

The two carried on with conversation before getting out of the bath and headed towards the shower to clean themselves. After finishing showering the two went to their bags that were placed on the king bed in the cabin.

“Bobby,” y/n called as she tucked her towel so it would stay up on its own. “I have one more present for you, I just didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone.”

Bob gave his girl a look before carefully grabbing the gift box out of her hand. It wasn’t too big but it wasn’t super small either. It was neatly decorated with his name scribbled on top. “You didn’t have to get me anything else.”

“Just open it.” She urged with a smile. She could feel the tears coming while she waited for him.

He sat down on the end of the bed with y/n standing beside of him. He carefully opened the box and read the top before his eyes widen and he noticed tue white stick with a blue lid. A red plus sign on a test, and pink two lines on the other stick. The box contained a letter board reading “I can’t wait to meet you daddy.” And the lid of the box, which he read first said, “to the best daddy ever.”

Y/N wanted to get a pair of booties or a onesie to put in their but she didn’t get a chance too. She wanted to wait and make it special but today was special just as well. “Are you serious?” Bob asked with tears in his eyes. “Am I gonna be a dad?”

Y/N nodded as her own tears started spilling, “you’re gonna be a daddy.” She whispered as Bob stood up and pulled her into a hug. “I just found out today and the only one that knows is Reagan. I thought we could wait and tell everyone after our first ultrasound to make sure everything is okay.”

“Baby, you’ve just given the best gift ever.” He mumbled as he rocked the couple back and forth.

“I love you forever, Robert Floyd.”

“I love you, Y/N Floyd, forever and always.”

| The last part! It took so long because I had so many other problems but it’s all good. I have a Jake “Hangman” series coming so… if you like him then you can check my profile because it should be up in the next few days! It could have ended better but it is what it is.|

[beezusvreeland]

a very good idea - chapter 12

summary: After your boyfriend cheats on you at a party, you break up with him, who tells you nobody else is willing to be with you like him. You decide to prove him wrong, with a little help from a new friend.

ship: miguel o'hara x f!reader

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Chapter 12

You weren’t avoiding Miguel. Well, you sort of were, but you just needed some room to breathe and process what Peter told you. Miguel doesn’t just like you. He has had feelings for you ever since I met him. Probably even before that.

Peter was a good friend and there was no reason for him to lie to you. Still, it was hard to believe: Miguel likes you, he has liked you for a long time. The swirl of your feelings quickly transformed into a ruthless hurricane. Because Miguel could have anyone one he wanted, yet he wanted you. 

Although it was exciting to even consider this possibility, you were so confused. You had known each other for many years and he never made a move. And he had plenty of opportunities to do so: the only person you ever dated was Harry, you had been single the rest of the time. Which begged the question: why did Miguel never ask you out? Why wouldn't he even talk to you? Was he embarrassed of being seen with you? Was he embarrassed of you? 

It hurt to even consider that. Over the years, you watched his line of ever changing girlfriends grow, one girl more beautiful than the other. Miguel was mysterious and low key, with the smoothness of a bad boy without really being one. Every now and then, you found him in a hidden corner with a smirk on his face, whispering sweet nothings into girls’ ears as he stroke their hair or their hips. It drove them crazy. And now you understood them. He could make you feel like you are the only person in the room. If Miguel has liked you so much for so long, how come you had to drag him into a fake relationship scheme to find out? 

Your brain went from one memory to another. That night at the party, before everything went south, the two of you were having a nice moment. You could feel Miguel’s walls breaking down. Yours too. You barely recognized yourself from the way you flirted with him, not because it wasn’t you, but because it was a new and intriguing part of yourself you didn’t know you had. When you were with Miguel, you could just be present and enjoy his company, a nice change from always wondering about the future as if the present was something you were watching on the sidelines. 

The amount of mixed signs overwhelmed you. Because deep down, you knew you had feelings for Miguel. You thought about him often and sometimes would allow yourself to fantasize what would be like if the pair of you were together, actually together. And then there was the other part, the devil on your shoulder releasing all of your insecurities telling you that it was all a joke, Miguel would never want you for real, he was just messing with you. 

***

Your anxiety was so bad, you skipped lunch. Not only your stomach was acting like a balloon being squeezed until it almost popped, you knew you couldn’t handle the idea of seeing Miguel. So you spent that time in a hidden nook between bookcases in the library. Seated on the floor, you put your headphones on and pressed play on your phone. The playlist “in case of emergency” you created started with “Backseat”, by Charli XCX and Carly Rae Jepsen. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, the harmonies of the song slowly making you feel a bit more comfortable. All alone, all alone, all alone, all alone, they sang. My fingers run through his hair, my fingers run through his hair, my fingers run through his hair. 

Feeling a tiny bit better, you got up and headed to your english class. You were so focused on not breaking down that you didn’t pay attention to where you were going, you just trusted your body to get there. 

Everything else was a blur. That must be why you didn’t notice your ex-boyfriend’s best friend Flash Thompson waiting for you in the hallway. You were walking past him when he grabbed your arm, making you stop. He brought you closer to the wall.

“So, do you have the essay with you?”

You must’ve looked confused, because he added: “The history essay I paid you to write a few weeks ago.”

Flash Thompson was right, which was extremely annoying. But the fact that you completely forgot about this assignment was even worse. You never failed to submit your work to your so-called clients at least a day before the assignment was due. And Flash, for what it was worth, always paid her good money. Not being cheap was one of his few redeeming qualities. 

“Remind me again when you have to turn that in?”

“Tomorrow!”

And just like that, it had become hard to breathe yet once again. Your heart was beating as fast as your mind tried to remember and organize everything you had to that day — and you panicked when you realized you had a couple other assignments from other clients, as well as your own essay. How was that possible? What was wrong with you?

“Flash, I’m sorry, I completely forgot”, you don’t know how the words came out of you, talking felt really difficult all of the sudden.

“You what?!”, Flash asked in a volume above his normal one. Seeing you shriek because of it, he grabbed your arm once again, this time to bring you closer to him. “If I don’t submit that, I’m gonna fail and if I fail, I won’t be able to have my birthday party in a yacht!”, he whispered.

“Is there any problem?”, a third voice spoke behind you. 

Miguel. He had his arms crossed and gave Flash a look you had never seen before, not even when he fought with Harry at that party. His stern expression was heightened by his sharp features. You would be scared if you didn’t know him. Like Flash was.

“No, man, we’re talking about an assignment, right?”, Flash said, looking at you. 

Miguel did the same. You nodded. His face softened for a bit, his eyes showing concern, then he looked back at Flash and all the sternness came back. It was all too much, you couldn’t handle it anymore, it was too hot, there was no air and you were pretty sure the room spinned for a moment.

“Anyway, we have to go”, Miguel’s delivery was the coldest possible. Taking your hand in his, he said: “We are going to be late for class”. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure, man. Hey, y/n, can you send me that article you mentioned by the end of the day?”

Again, you just nodded. 

Class had already started. Mrs. White was writing something on the board and gave you a wink when she saw you and Miguel holding hands. All of your classmates were already there and, just your luck, the only available seats were the two in the back, one next to the other.

You could feel Miguel’s eyes on you as you made your way to the seat, but you didn’t have it in you to look at him back, your anxiety was reaching a breaking point. As you sat, your head also throbbed a bit, a headache was coming. It can always get worse, you thought. 

“Hi”, Miguel whispered in your ear. “Are you okay?”

All you could do was nod, slightly turning to have a look at him. His brown eyes analyzed your face, as if he was searching for something. You were paralyzed.

“What did Flash do to make you so upset?”, his hand suddenly in your face, his thumb making circles on your cheek. 

“Nothing, we just discussed an assignment.” 

Miguel still had no idea about your side hustle and you intended to keep it that way. His eyes analyzed you again, his thumb still caressing your cheek, like he was trying to decide if he believed you or not. 

“I missed you at lunch”, he said so softly you almost cried. “Where did you go?”

“I had to finish my chemistry homework”, you said. 

“Oh yeah, sometimes I forget how much of a nerd you are”, Miguel looked at you, clearly expecting a laugh you just couldn’t give him. The room was spinning again and you struggled to focus on Miguel. He was saying something about ice cream.

It’s just 15 minutes from here, Peter said it’s great and I looked online, they have lactose free options, so you are safe. I was wondering if you would like to there with me? Maybe after class? 

Yes. Yes, of course you wanted to. You just had to keep your eyes opened and hold your self because you were slipping from the chair...

Baby, what’s going on? What are you…

You were swallowed by darkness. 

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<< chapter 11

all chapters

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a very good idea playlist

[inevitably-johnlocked]

what are your top 5 favourite fics of all time?

Hey Lovely!

OOOOF! This is a question! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh are you looking specifically for Johnlock? Because my top 5 faves, if I was forced to choose, are multi-fandom fics LOL.

First, check out these lists, because I have a LOT of fave fics, and choosing just 5 hurts me so much:

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Ten Fave Short Johnlock Fics (Easy Reads April 2018)

25 Fave Johnlock One Shots (April 2018)

Top 10 Fave Fics (September 2018)

Top 20 Bookmarks of 2018 (March 2019)

Another Top 10 Fave Fics (June 2019)

Top 30 Read-Again Fics (March 2019)

Top 30 Read-Again Fics Pt. 2 (Sept. 2019)

Fave Read-Again Fics (10) (Dec 11/20)

Top 25 Fave Non-Ao3 Fics (Nov. 2019)

Top 25 Fave Non-Ao3 Fics Pt 2 (Apr 2022)

Top 25 Fave Non-AO3 Fics Pt 3 (May 2023)

Top 25 Bookmarks of 2019 (Dec. 29/2019)

Top 30 Bookmarks of 2020

Top 25 Bookmarks of 2021

Top 20 Bookmarks of 2022

Top 20 Comfort Fics (Feb 2022)

Top 30 Fave Angst Fics Under 10K

25 Fics for Fic Rec Bingo

-----

So, currently, in 2023, here are my Top 5 Fave Johnlock fics, I think. Probably repeated on one of the above lists:

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w., 4 Ch. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice, Escort Service) – Clara's American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she's also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she's placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, Primarily POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won’t let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

You Have Drawn Red From My Hands by J_Baillier(T, 67,085 w., 17 Ch. || Three Garridebs, Heavy John Whump, Hurt / Comfort, Pining, Heavy Angst, Case Fic/Adventure, Slow Burn, Sick Fic, Injury, Guilt & Depression, Just Talk Already Please, Medical Realism, PTSD) –  John getting injured leads Sherlock on a path of guilt and revelations.

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w., 19 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate's charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim? 

SO hard to pick, y'all. Decided to pick the first five fics I thought of rather than arguing with my brain LOL.

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AND if you're interested in other fandoms, here are 5 other fave fics:

The Picnic; or, the Drawbacks of Loving an Angel by sorrowfulcheese (G, 3,776 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Apocalypse/Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Misunderstandings, Moving On, Picnicking, Idiots in Love, Crowley POV, Cranky Crowley, Mutual Pining, Light Angst with Happy Ending) – Aziraphale lures Crowley out for a picnic. It doesn't go remarkably well. 

perilune by Pokimoko (T, 14,000 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S1, Marc / Layla / Steven, Jake & Layla Friendship, POV Layla, Romance, Fluff, Asexual System, Aromantic Jake, Queerplatonic Relationships, Light Angst, Protective Layla, Allosexual/Asexual Relationship, Established Relationship, Touch-Averse Jake, DID, Communication, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Soft Jake, Autistic System, Panic Attack, Insecure Marc) – In which Layla and Marc go to a party and share an important talk, Layla and Steven go on a date under the stars, and Layla and Jake go out for breakfast and come to a realisation.

Hand in Glove by lizardkid(T, 14,223 w., 1 Ch. || RED DWARF || Post-S9, Internalized Homophobia, Repression, Hurt/Comfort, Lister Whump, Worried Rimmer, Ableist Language, Cuddling) – Lister is mortally wounded in an accident. Rimmer is forced to reassess everything.

so this could be the death of me (or maybe just a better me) by darkerintheday (G, 25,029 w., 4 Ch. || MOON KNIGHT [2022] || Protective System, Hurt/Comfort, Dissociation, Feral Protection of Each Other, Emotional Protector Steven, Protective Jake, BAMF Marc, Smart-Ass Steven, Language Barriers, Kidnapping / Torture, Murder, Discussions on Morality, Loneliness / Light Jealousy) – One time Marc saves Steven, one time Jake saves Marc, and one time Steven saves Jake. (And so forth.)

Moving Forward, Circuit by Circuit by  DoAndroidsDreamOfElectricPolarBears  (E, 50,605 w., 18 Ch. || Post-Ending AU, Amnesia, Connor Whump, Alcohol Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Android Slavery/Trafficking, World Building, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Hank Being Hank, Memory Loss/Wipe, Rebuilding Relationship, Case Fic, Protective Hank, Interrogations, Police Work,  Love Confessions, Fixing Connor, Caring Hank, Friends to Lovers, Going Undercover, Self Depreciation, Bed Sharing, Kissing and Hugging, Flirting) – After the liberation of androids, society is changing ... for everyone except Hank. To him, it seems that life has returned to normal -- especially with the absence of his partner. That is, until he finds Connor, components modified and memories erased. The two must work together to catch the man responsible (and sort out their feelings along the way).

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Hope you this pleases you! <3

[demons-mind]

This is one of the main reasons why I made that poll, I don't care very much for Chaggie. I know the ship is Canon, and I know it's very popular, but I just don't care for it very much. (I did like it in the pilot, but in the series, it's just so boring to me) henceforth why I made OCS for them.

Anyway, here's some facts about these two couples I made.

So, for Cain x Charlie, it kind of starts a little after Cain's exile and him wandering the Earth for a (long) while. He starts to give up on moving and just wants to die right then and there until he hears a sweet melody coming from a large gate like portal. He was skeptical at first, but the song was pulling him in. It turned out Lilith and Lucifer were keeping an eye on Adam's family to see in some way that we they did worked or not. Lilith (for reasons I will talk about later) felt guilty for what happened to Cain, so after talking to Lucifer about it and making sure that the angels aren't looking, they set up a "trap" and bring Cain to hell. At that time Charlie was around a young child (I know Charlie's not that old, but I don't care it's part of my AU) and apart of Cain's curse is that he ages much slower then before (Again part of my au but he was kind of young when he killed Abel) so the two hanged out a lot when whenever they could. Cain was the first to start having feelings for Charlie. However, she was dating other people for a while so he really couldn't tell her how he felt without getting his heart broken so he kept it in for a long while. Eventually after Charlie broke up with kind of a dick head boyfriend, Cain took his shoot and asked Charlie out (no he did not ask her right after she and the other guy broke up, there was a two week gap between her break up and him asking her out). Charlie didn't know what to say at first because of one hand she did like him but on the other hand their parents really didn't get along, at all, and she was kind of scared of what would happen to him if either of their parents found out, but took a leap of faith and decided to go out with him anyway. Things were going well for them. They're still together after 10 years of dating, Charlie's parents were very supportive of this relationship (honestly neither Lucifer or Lilith care who Charlie dates as long as they love and care for her, they won't care. Even if he's Lilith's Ex's son). Cain's siblings were just as excited and supportive about them to (I didn't post his siblings yet I know, they'll be coming out soon after this post). Things are going great for them so far and their excited, and a little scared, for what the future has for them!

As for Vaggie x Sonia, unlike Cain x Charlie, I don't know if Exorcist are Heaven born or Winners that worked their way up the rank. However, for right now I'm just going to say that their Heaven born. So anyway, Vaggie and Sonia were really close to one another when they were still training to be exorcists and throughout their childhood. Eventually when they become exorcists they started dating and things were going well for them so far (by the way, I know when Lute said "their love is blasphemy" a lot of people took it as she was bringing homophobic. Therefore all of Heaven is homophobic. However, my brain took it more as she meant an Angel and a Demon being in a relationship was blasphemy. So I'm leaving my girls be and take it as I organized it to be). However, after Vaggie "fell" Sonia became heart broken. She was told that Vaggie was a trader to Heaven and she deserved to be there. Sonia didn't believe that for a single second so whenever it was extermination day she would spend her time trying to look for Vaggie to get her questions answered, of course she killed a bunch of demons as well, but her main focus was to find Vaggie and make sure she was alright. But she never found her. That is until a certain asshole fell himself, making his eldest son (and her best friend) in heaven take charge of the exorcists army, only then does she find the love of her life, safe and sound at the Hazbin Hotel.

Hope you all like what I have so far for my Hazbin Hotel AU, even if I don't like Chaggie very much...💚💚💚

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Bee Movie

According to all known laws of aviation... eh, forget it. You know the rest.

So uh... Bee Movie is surprisingly pretty good? Yeah, I know, I'm surprised too. I mean of course, Bee Movie is an Iconic Staple of Meme Culture and for good reason, its humor is just... probably some of the most insane shit out of Dreakworks ever (more on that in a bit). But it's also a pretty compelling roller coaster ride of a movie that held my rapt interest the whole way through???

So what's the story here? Barry B Benson is a bee who ventures outside the hive and meets a florist named Vanessa, whom he of course falls in love with (and she falls for him too, its fuckin weird man). Eventually, Barry discovers that humans make a profit off the backs of bees by selling their honey, so he decides to sue the entire human race. Yeah that's really the fuckin plot they came up with. It's fucking wild, man, from start to end.

Our characters here are just as wild to match that crazy ass plot. Barry is a snarky lil fella, but you can tell he cares about his... people? Bees? Idk man this movie has short circuited my brain. Anyway, Barry is a fun character to follow as our main. Vanessa is a little less developed and kind of all over the place personality wise, and well... she falls for a bee. Enough said. Barry's best friend Adam is cool, almost dies from stinging a guy, so that's fun. We also have Ken, Vanessa's ex-boyfriend who literally gets cuckolded by a bee this movie is actually insane.

The comedy here is just... ridiculous. Again, there's a reason why this movie has produced so many iconic memes. I cackled out loud at some of these jokes and references, many of which I imagine would probably go over a kid's head (the Sting and Ray Liotta jokes especially like... c'mon those are some deep cuts). It's kind of breaking the recent trend I've been noticing from Dreamworks where they're aiming down for a younger audience. Instead, Bee Movie harkens back to their earlier movies, aimed more at adults with blink and you miss them naughty jokes that are actually really funny here?

The animation is also like... insanely impressive for the time this came out? Some of the camera angles and movement on these bees is just... amazing? The flying scenes really make you feel like you're flying along with Barry, taking you through densely colorful and sometimes actually beautiful setpieces. I also enjoyed the worldbuilding inside of the hive and all of the little devices they use to produce honey. I feel like this movie is doing what Antz was trying to do, but accomplishing it so much better, with way less Rancid vibes than Antz had.

The music is also fairly solid, not as many pop songs as you'd expect from a memey movie like this, but the ones that are very are pretty good and backed by a competent score. I think my biggest gripe with this film is... well, it's a little all over the place and out of focus? Like one minute it's about Barry struggling to figure out what he wants to do with his relatively short life, then its about him falling for Vanessa, then its about suing the humans, then its about restarting pollenation so the entire planet won't shrivel up and die? (yeah did I mention this film has an environmental message?) Really, this movie is kind of just... a jack of all trades and a master of none? All of its various plots are ok, but none of them are standout fantastic. It's just... a little messy??

But really, I did enjoy myself watching this movie. I didn't think I was going to, because its been years since I've seen it and well, the internet rags on it all the time, but it's surprisingly well-made! It really is Dreamworks at their most Dreamworks (warts and all) and I think that's a testament to why its so memorable (in both good and bad ways lol). Anyway I just got one last thing to say before wrapping up this review:

Ya like jazz?

Overall Rating: 7/10

Verdict: Watch the Entire Bee Movie but every time they say literally anything the movie starts over until you die

Previous Review (Shrek the Third)

Next Review (Kung Fu Panda)

[heleizition]

u cannot just present me with gold right when i have to go to bed. i have a sleep schedule to keep to! for health! and sanity! and brain! i love them so much. ur ocs. i love twin characters, so many dynamics and all are good. the art is also just -wants to squeeze- affectionately. who were they in their past lives? is josephines 'i failwd to protec' a thing that also happened in past life? bunny person very good. love how expressive the ears can get. also cute. i think i watched the first ep of d.gray man way way back?? or the first few? i have very little memory of it but a vague plan to get back to that sometime. angel love, angel life, angel delight. the concept of god being a baby of a big species of gods is -chefs kiss- love it. sleep tiiiime, sleep well when u do byeeeee

HEHEHEHE >:3 im evil .

i looooove siblings dynamics........... so so much ........... both chronos & nath and then nell & belly weren't even twins at first it just Happened lmao... chronos & nath were almost the same character in two different stories and i couldnt decide who to keep lmao and then belly was supposed to be nell's little sister he ran from after she saw him kill their father (to protect her) (nell is an idiot) but . it jst happened. anyway

SO THEIR PAST LIVES.

The group of oc is composed of many i havent introduced yet but the major ones are here i think except my Bad Guy. so keep in mind the story is cringy and bad lmao but i still like it to this day...

post apocalyptic earth where humans live under domes bc the outside is too toxic + technology evolved so now cyborgs exist + a while back some government doctors & scientists were working in a secret lab to implants animal genes w humans to make hybrids & something about genetic preservation whatever whatever. anyway.

eve is the protagonist. she's the only daughter of head doctor of that hybrid lab. it exploded 20 years ago which cause people inside that specific dome to mutate into hybrids (people woke up to agonizing pain bc their body was breaking and morphing and it wasn't made for that. josephine was one of those people ! she was a wolf hybrid :3)

we follow eve and her then group of friends until for some reasons (<==== guy who does not remember what that plot point was) the dome had to be evacuated. something about a deadly virus ? ofc as always the rich people got away first until the dome got closed off completely <3 . eve meets several people including chronos (human guy, future bf, hes a simp) maria & arthur (yes i will draw them at some point OTL) and they stick together to survive as the inside of the dome is becoming a battleground. doesn't help that part of the reason the dome was closed off so quick was that ~mafia~ (idk how else to call it, its not rly mafia tho oTL) boss stanislas was in here and has always escaped the government's assassination attemps thus far.

SO this virus slowly contaminate everyone but its slow and rots you from inside. terrible deadly soulcrushing. + stanislas is using every means he has to try to control the city & find a way out. except ex cop and also ex girlfriend jo (josephine) is here to basically kill him lol (he broke her trust & her heart and also killed a lot of people and revenge is her whole life). josephine at first is a lone wolf (haha) until she gets very badly injuried and ends up in a small alley where eve & her friends took quarters. they get her inside and find a way to keep her alive. also at this point the group has also met gabriel ! (bunny guy! he has a tragic past and i love him. hes my mary sue) and stephan ! (his not yet boyfriend who also has a tragic past and that jo feels very guilty about). gabriel used to be a test subject in the hybrid lab. he and eve used to know each other :] they are best friends now.

at the same time nath (who was supposed to be dead) shows up like hiiiiiiiiiiiii btw im here (hes one of stan's agent but when he was supposed to die he actually survived and got turned into a cyborg with special modification in his brain which makes him obey. but he did not Forget and he will fight what stan makes him do <3)

SO um after they all meet its basically just. a fight to survive and also moments where they're like. oh we're gonna die here. lets party so hard.

stan also realises he doesn't rly have a way out and dedicates himself to ending his and jo's fight for good this time which also put eve's group in danger since jo . stuck around . there are casualties which is why she feels she failed them..................

anyway . there are more stuff but its rly all over the place soobssss im sowwyyyy

LOOOVE D.gray man . one of my first and favorite manga if u ever get the chance to pick it up for a bit longer to see if u enjoy it ... yeah .....