#and for anyone who might say 'you can just make adult self inserts if you want to do self-shipping. even if you're not that age irl'

[somerandomcryptid]

having self inserts that are minors is so fuckin weird bc for multiple dynamics I'm just like... if they were an adult then these guys would fuck. but I'm not doing that bc they are a CHILD and I just don't want to explore that particular flavor of terrible with my blorbos it's just like T-T why does my brain keep wanting to make any of this shit romantic/sexual in any way I fucking hate you brain.

[solar4seekstron]

Character Introduction - Reader in the Bayverse. (If anyone has a good name for reader please let me know)

Hello! Hello! Your dear Solar is here! Guess what? I’m rewriting the Bayverse movies (Kinda)!!! And add ing in reader because I mean who hasn’t imagined theirself as a Cybertronian fighting alongside OP and Bee, right?

In the 5 Movies there is………………………………a lot. Going on-

As some of you have guess these chapter will be pretty long and although it’s a rewrite. Not too much will be changed and like with my other stories like Before and So Forth and Transformers One Awakening series. Yes, the reader will be Gender Nuatral so They/Them will be used. As always you guys can just imagine it’s saying he or she if you are that gender. While yes it’s a self instert in the story it’s also a story of an added character of my creation. I’ve been wanting to write this since I realized I enjoyed writing when I was barely an adult.

Just wanted to wait till I had more of an audience. Even if all of my followers don’t always like my posts >:(!

Jk. Jk. I know SOME people like my works. I’ve always wanted to create a character for the series just because I love that crap. If reader inserts and x reader stuff isn’t your cup of tea. DNI then. This is for people who do to enjoy and just have fun talking to other fans. I only wish for people to enjoy my work while self instering time to time.

Overall this post is to give a deeper look of what I have planned for you all and the series of the bay films. This introduction under the cut will tell you what you need to know about the character and what to expect. Hopefully as I write the series I can continue to make thier personality shine.

This is a true passsion project of mine. So the first chapter wont be released until Christmas. And then will be released every Sunday.

Seeing that there are some sexual scenes at times I don’t see why the robots can’t? (In my own opinion I feel that it makes sense that because the robots are sentient and now we have a nonbinary robot! Along with when you look at wheelie and the twins from the second film. So I’ll try my best to add in the humor when it feels right for the situation.

In the movies it’s always Optimus Prime, Megatron, and Bumblebee but now here it’ll be with the reader add in all the movies.

Since the story is x reader in a way the characters are semi soft yandere. But not all the time.That’ll be explained and explored later. I did change up the lore a bit so please bear with me please I did as much research as I can but had to keep remembering that I’m also doing this to have fun. So you know if there are things in here that you weren’t expecting or you didn’t see what you wanted in part of their lore. Sorry my writing isn't always for everyone.

Notes: Wheeljack in the third film will be rewritten. I’m sure some people like his design and character. But I hate it- My boy deserves more respect and love then this!!! So like I’ll do in the Knightvers with ROTB I’m going to rewrite him like how he is in Prime. He’ll still die because I know I can make that an interesting plot point like with every other character.

Not just Optimus Prime ok. As for in between movies I’ll do the best research I can since I know there are comics for them. And if anyone has a link to them online or overall plot points for the movies and in the comics. Let me know!

Reader will have their large part in the story like how I’ll write for the others. I hope you guys enjoy this series and yeah knowing that the movies have a lot going on it might take me a little over half a year to finish.

And not to worry I won't grow bored of this series. I have been thinking about and planning on working on this series along with the knightverse movies for a long while and I don’t wish to disappoint!!

Anyway, here’s the reader and their character! I hope you guys like them!!!!!

———————————————————————————

Character.

Basics:

Besides Optimus, Ratchet and Senitnel and a few other Decepticons. They can speak Cybertronian. In a way a former Knight like Optimus. Worrior under Sentinel during the war before Optimus became leader.

Uses They/Them Pronouns.

B - Info:

Lives throughout the movies and is always there. Being the Ride or Die of Optimus like Bumblebee. The fighter in every battle. There to help guide but also learn. One to believe in signs and path. Goes through their own growth along side the many around them. Struggles for their fallen friends.

Is one of the strongest characters in series.

Team Prime:

Scout/Warrior/Soldier (Former Knight). Voice of Reason. Cool older sibling.

Age:

Around the same age as Optimus Prime and Sentinel. The other Knights being a bit older. (I imagine they’re all around the same age. But in the story the reader is a little older then OPtimus Prime.)

Note: After some research for the story, the google search told me Hound is 60 millions years old??? And Optimus is still referred to be 9 million years old. I know they’re all supper old but for Hound to be 60 million is a bit strange to me. So I’m changing the age for them a bit.

Hound will be 29 million years old and while OP and Y/N are around 15 million years old. And the knights being only 19 million years older.

And so in the equivalent of human years OP and Y/N would be in their early 40’s.

The Knight in their mid 40’s. And Hound in his early 70’s.

Appearance:

Y/N is a pretty tall bot. Being 4 feet smaller then Optimus in robot form. So the 2nd tallest compared to the others. Their vehicle mode being a 2003 Porsche Cayenne.

(Don’t ask I think its a nice care. But do feel free to educate me in the comments I don’t know cars that well.

Y/Ns colors are black with tinted red on their paint. Y/Ns robot mode being almost like a knights but modern (Much like Sentinel Primes armor in tf5) but to match more with their own alt mode. Only looking slimmer then Sentinel because of how small they are.

Their head armor looking a lot like Rodimus helmet in Transformers Animated (But if it was styled in the berverse. Think like Nightshades armor peice and how it covers a bit of their optics.)

Their optics yellow and faceplate grey like the others. Having optics that are mostly dim but brighten when feeling certain emotions. Their optics piercing in yellow that helps with their thousand yard stare. Though they aren’t always glaring at someone when they turn their attention to someone. That’s just something that happens when really they’re just- staring.

Having a few Cybertronian writings on their helm. Both back, top, and side. A it on their shoulders and arms and different parts of their body.

Always seen with a smile on their dermas even in the toughest situations under their mask and even when they take their mouth guard off. Their visors being the color blue and their mouth guard being a grey is red.

Weapons:

A thing most noticed about them is they have two swords on both side of their hips in sword handles. Their swords being long like Sentinels but not as wide. The handles in more of a dark red with a tint of black on them. But the handles being completely black. Something others might not notice too is their somewhat small gun held at their lower back. With a Y initial on the side of it. Their arms also turning into blasters.

Though they rarely use them.

Appearence Traits:

At times throughout the movies can be seen always keeping their visors on but will take their mouth guard off even when they don’t speak. They only take both their visors and mouth guard for only important moments and if they are having strong emotions. That’s when their optics really brighten.

Usually when not fighting. They can be seen either standing with one arm down and the other will be bent. Always having at least one cervo on a sword handle being on guard. Or can be seen cleaning their swords and loading their gun after each battle. It being big or small. Or training with the others, or talking to them, or just standing there listening and waiting for orders.

They rarely cross their arms.

Fighting:

They work mostly in hand in hand combat. Only using their swords to help out in fights as more then just a weapon to slash someone with. At times using different parts of their sword when they don’t wish to kill someone.

If they are really mad. Their fighting combat becomes almost like a wrestler, which is something not seen much in battle. It’s just them showing why they don’t punch as much as they do in battle.

Note: For an example of how they fight with their swords watch “The Elder Scrolls Online: High Isle Cinematic” The way the knight fights against the three characters is basically how they fight.

Traits (Sort of):

While they usually have their mouth guard down if they’re not in battle. They will at times also move their visors off as well. Mostly if its during certain situations like they’re really surprised or confused. (Plan on doing that a few times throughout.) At times they will speak but only when they’re needed to.

At times they can be seen cleaning their swords. Either it be because they have to or they’re worried and got something on their mind.

If they are really mad or just wishes to speak to the other privately. They will speak in Cybertronian. So while the others choose to speak in. They will speak in their more native language when it’s something important.

I was thinking about doing a relationship with the others part but I don’t think people will care that much and just wait to read the first chapter since that’ll show to establish their relationship when it comes to the first movie. Same thing for their backstory.

But I tell you what.

If there are people who do wish to read on their backstory and/or future relationships like a special early preview. Then let this introduction post reach at least 500 likes and I’ll give y’all a treat to help you figure out what to expect for future events!!!

Hows that? Lol.

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this and I cant wait for you guys to see the first chapter when it releases. If any of you wish to be tagged in the first chapter to know when I’ll post on Christmas just let me know.

I cant wait for you guys to read it!!! And if you wanna talk about it just leave a comment! LETS TALK!

I hope you all are having a good rest of your day and I’ll see you guys in the next chapter!

How I imagine readers hips with swords look like. (If you know the artist type in their name on here or twitter in the comments so I can add it here please I tried looking but wasn’t lucky)

[ultravioart]

Okay I will admit it, I am a hater.

Venture's VA narrated the Venture comic and botched Mauga's accent, butchered the pronunciation of πυξίς (pyxís said like peekSIS not PICKsis) and Iram. It's tonal and phonetic errors, not Venture's accent.

Where are the voice directors??? Why aren't words being checked if they are pronounced right? It's annoying enough that the Greek ruins were not researched (digging into cliffsides/under ruins in Greece is desecration/dangerous, Venture's drill would shatter terracotta artifacts, handling artifacts WITH BARE HANDS is a no-no, and a Westerner claiming 'no one is here to protect these Greek ruins, so I HAVE TO STEP UP' is such bs) but the pronunciations and accent butchering is just... the unprofessional cherry on top lol.

The VA was also very nsfw in a community that included minors (Overwatch isn't rated Mature, there are teens here. Such as interacting with streamers in a suggestive way even though those streamers have minors in the audience. If Overwatch was an adult series I wouldn't be complaining.) I get the VA is nsfw sometimes but READ THE ROOM. YOU are the adult here, CHOOSING to work on a T rated game that has a large online presence. Make a side account or something for nsfw!

The VA also encourages thirst trap art of Venture which to me feels SO ooc for Venture's character. Overwatch characters should NOT be self inserts! Did we not learn this already with Cassidy?!?! Sure, Venture's character can be flirty, but I see it in more so a 'hopeless romantic' super-hero whimsy way. Look at how Venture embellishes their intro in the intro animation! "Those boots, the drill, that perfect smile!"

It's light hearted and camp, not unironic gooner thirst trap lol. (Plus that mummy skin fanart trend for Venture eventually turned into people making fanart including orientalist fetish costumes. Smfh.)

There's nothing wrong with expressing sexuality, in fact I am happy for anyone that finds who they are and embraces it! But yeesh, as a professional VA in a T rated game, be appropriate for a T rated audience!!! Don't be horny on main when sfw fans are just trying to ask you about the VA profession. It's not cute, it’s immature and irresponsible and extremely unprofessional. Sorry to be a hater but. This person also voices characters in Monster High, a series aimed at a younger audience. The VA also voices a character in Genshin Impact... and I needn't say why it's concerning that the VA doesn't respect the audience the VA AS AN ADULT chooses to work in. :/

I also have beef with how Venture changed from concept to final product (loved the big smile, long lashes chill vibe + Venture's curls got nerfed >:/) so I might make a redesign of Venture in the future...

[greattigerssimp]

~I'm opening up Punch Out roleplays!!~

---

Yep, y'all heard me. As someone who loves writing and roleplays, I will officially be opening up roleplays! You can play as your OCs, self inserts, etc. alongside any roleplay starter I list below (or your very own!) Ofc I'm going to be using my AU of the characters (as seen pinned to my profile) in order to play as said characters (mainly from the Wii version of PO).

Rules:

- No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.

- Please engage! Write at least 2 sentences per response so I'm not just role-playing by myself ;-;

- I will do nsfw/f*tish roleplays (I'm an adult after all) buuuut you need to NOT be a minor + you need my permission

- OC/self insert x canon roleplays are allowed!

- Please let me know if anything I write makes you feel uncomfortable (I'm autistic lmao idk when I cross boundaries)

- Have fun!!

I tend to use a variety of different roleplay styles, typically script-style and standard, but you can use any style you'd like! ^^ Anyways, with all that said and done, let's go over some roleplay starters!

Starters:

Starter 1: The new boxer in town!

"You/OC has recently moved to NYC in order to participate in the rising boxing league, the World Video Boxing Association! You came from *insert country/state here* and are excited to meet your new co-workers. The first night of your job sees you invited to a small welcoming party held at the WVBA gym near where you live."

Starter 2: The mysterious anomaly!

"You and the other boxers find each other stuck inside the WVBA gym during a thunderstorm. The power is out, and everyone is stuck hanging around the locker rooms. After Bear Hugger tells everyone a spooky story about "The anomaly" (see AU for details), everyone is placed on edge for the night, as everyone quickly realized that all the exits of the WVBA have been blocked off. What will you do?"

Starter 3: WVBA Anniversary vacation!

"Tomorrow morning is the 30th anniversary of the WVBA, and the network higher-ups have offered to take the boxers on a little fun trip to commemorate the occasion. But the boxers have to vote on what to do... should they cruise to an exotic island? Go to a fun theme park for a day? The choice is anyone's suggestion... perhaps yours!"

Starter 4: Uncovering Dreamland!

"After overcoming Lil Mac and Mr. Sandman and becoming the pound for pound champion of the WVBA, you get a special invitation to have dinner with the CEO of the WVBA (and the network)... Mr. Dream! Will you uncover something nefarious about the millionaire CEO? Who's to say..."

Starter 5: Box-con!

"Box-con is an annual event where the WVBA brings all of its boxers together at a special event (similar to comic con, but for boxers). All the boxers ever featured on the WVBA (which means the SPO boxers) are attending. Who knows what may transpire?"

Starter 6 (oc/self insert x headcanon only): The secret admirer!

*insert love interest here* has been on your mind the moment you two have met... after a difficult match, your love interest is exhausted and beaten down. You decide to help them... and possibly ask them out or such. Either of you could take the helm! (NSFW is allowed)."

Starter 7: WVBA World Tour!

"The WVBA is airing a brand new special, involving matches taking place in each boxers home country! From Paris, France to California, you join the boxers as they each reconnect with their roots and family's, all filled with drama and heart before the tour brings your OC/self insert to their native country."

Starter 8: The new trainer!

"You've been employed by Mr. Dream himself to become a personal, dotting trainer for all the boxers. Your goal as a trainer is to support and help each boxer prepare for their fights against one another, and to just look after their wellbeing in general. You'll learn about each boxers, their past, their fighting style, etc. You may even fall for one of them, hehe~"

(I might post more starters in the future!)

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 7

this may take me longer than usual because I have hurt my hand so it's wrapped up rn and it makes it hard to type 🫡

TTTTAKING OVER TEENAGE REBELLION

I miss ayda aguefort i hope she shows up in this episode.

pitch perfect 2 mention! I used to be so into music related movies

So much happened last episode, this recap is so long

I am not a fan of Grix.

AGENT CLARK...

Two Kristen's again

OH NO

ADAINE COMING IN WITH THE SAVE

"Pretty fun to commit fraud"

"That was sophomore year, I'm cool now"

Body rolling I love body rolling it's so fun to just vibe

Mandatory drug test????

Bard class cool as hell

GRIX NETTED DURDEN?

Rip Gorgug he fell on the stairs

"Did she cast a spell on you " "I mean, in a sense..."

Littledoggy Girlcollar

they should investigate definitely

"If we all do drugs, they can't expell all of us."

Riz trying so hard to keep Fig from being expelles

shrimp burrito

Gorgug not being a fan of Mary Ann is very interesting to me and very reasonable.

"I think it's a really good thing you're thinking."

kipperlitty is subliminally messaging people with the food?!?!?!?!?

I can't wait to see the fan art that comes out of this episode

"Hey.... Girlie"

THE SILENCE

"Did you hear? She passed." KRISTEN EHEHEJWKEHBEE

OHHH KIPPERLILLY. THAT WAS SHADY. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY IT SO LOUD. I ABSOLUTELY KNOW YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE

KRISTEN KRISTEN KIRSTEN KRISTEN KRISTEN

"Hey do we need to lock it in" yeah probably

Max Durden is probably my second favorite npc

"Everyone has to have a least favorite friend, it's fine" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fabian running a study hall is so cool

This downtime sounds fun

SPECIAL THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN IF GORGUG GETS NAT 20????????

Riz "The Ball" Gukgak

SERVER AT BASRAR'S!!!!!!

Aewlyn mention 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

SHE GOT THE JOB

"Nice new shirt, did you buy it underground?"

The stress tokens are actually making me real life stressed

GORGUG NAT 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SECOND GORGUG NAT 20!!!!!!!!

"It might be more stable than mine"

i miss Cassandra I hope she's okay

The shrimp jump. WAS a miracle

let's go Cassandra!

Fig paladin of Cassandra??????????????

Oh my god is Fig Multiclassing

oh my god wait craig he's still around

"it's like animal piss but in a good way"

"Kristen, your adult man is being weird"

"You'd be a nasty as paladin?"

"I don't want to harsh your vibe"

"Everyone has to lick me"

oh no he's a noodler

DETECTIVE BABY

gorgug has tunnel vision

Gorgug is literally so stressed

"I SUCK, YOU RULE"

the rage!

Fabian is such a loser when it comes to talking with girls

This is so painful, Fabian needs something. I don't know what but God he need something

THIRTY TWO????

Fabian stress token

Walking store Adaine

ya hoo

av class 🔥🔥🔥

i need art of fishing club Riz just goin' fishing

NAT ONE THAT BECOMES A 10

Gorgug & Riz joint birthday party!!!!

17 having a ice cream party sounds absolutely lit

SELF INSERT PC CLARK

Gorbag and Roz!!!

goodbye lucilla she's gone to the skies

"I think you're being weird here"

oh my god fig

Fig is having a strange day

"Why can't I tell him he's weird"

A YOGURT YEAR

"Haha! Counterspell! ♪"

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

oh my god Brennan said teenage rebellion.... just like... just like the song teenage rebellion... T-T-T-TAKING OVER TEENAGE REBELLION IT'S OUT TIME IT'S OUR YEAR—

"Can I take a stress for Kristen"

Riz is the only character allowed to take a stress for another person

popular kid Kristen!!!!

"Anyone who think he's cool" me too I fall in love with everyone who thinks I'm cool

alter emo hauntings a kid's dreams

"Not All Who Wanda Are Lost" single released on all listening platforms. 1 mil listens in a week

oh no...... this is going to be awful and awkward.

ohhhhhh....... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... Fabian.......... This is painful........

Ivy is catching these hands, leave my girl Mazey alone

"You missed your shot, playboy" no he has a call with his bank

Riz is at his conspiracy board

Something does feel off about grix

Everyone has a stress token

"Go roll me a corrupted bardic"

Even I'm grieving Lucy, she sounds lovely...

oh there's something deep going on with lucy

"It's the boss, baby"

Murph has figured it OUT

The epic music

This stress system is making me STRESSED

I relate to the stress causing antisocial things

LYDIA!!!!!!!!!

ohhhhhh goodness.....

[proshipconfessions]

I know this is more of a personal thing than a Proship thing, but TW for big age gaps and a 16 year old flirting with a 13 year old.

So I joined this Proship discord and this person is MEGA flirting with me. Matching pfps, ship edits of our self inserts, all that. I don’t know what to do because I’m 13, but say I’m 14 online for well, Internet safety. But it just feels wrong now.

Okay, I know that this is a confession blog so I don’t normally give any input, but I’m an adult who’s been on the internet since I was twelve, so I wanna give you a little advice.

1. It’s safer to just be vague than to give out specific ages (even if they’re incorrect). Like, for example, just “I’m a minor,” and don’t elaborate to anyone unless you fully trust them. (Most Discord servers and similar spaces that I’ve seen allow you to give an age range.) Most people understand that it’s for safety reasons. Creeps will be creeps no matter what age you give, and it’s honestly safer to be as vague as you can in the first place. If you feel like it would put you in a more comfortable place to let these certain and specific people know your age and understand why you are especially not willing to do this whole thing, that could help your situation a lot (even if people might be temporarily mad at you or something, I imagine that most people would understand where you were coming from when you did it).

2. But if you’re not at a point where you can do that anymore or you wouldn’t be willing to tell them about your age, I’ll give you a little advice for that situation. You should definitely tell this person that you’re uncomfortable and not interested in that kind of relationship with them. You never need to state a reason for not wanting to be involved with someone, and if they disrespect your boundaries after you state them, then they are not a person who you should be friends with. There’s a good chance that they’ll just apologize. If they try to insist like “OH IT’S JUST A JOKE!!!” or get mad at you for expressing boundaries after you say that it makes you uncomfortable, run and don’t look back.

[giornos-mother]

Welcome. ✨

First, imma post my persona, along with the male version. Forgive me if i'm not that good at height comparison, along with the anatomy.

Second, This account is for doodling and Fanart but it's mostly for self insert and OC & Canon stuff, both platonic and romantic. I might even include reader insert if i felt like to.

Any self insert art will be marked as under a post whether it's platonic or romantic as doing a self insert doesn't mean you gotta have romantic scenario, sometimes even you want to draw yourself being friends with your comfort characters, hell- even being their own enemy. (If you got a beef, just don't go too far...), the same can go for OC & Canon.

DNI list:

•Minors and ageless users: even though everything i write or draw will be 100% sfw, that does not mean i'd still want to interact with minors, especially since the content will be related to an adult content (example; drawing a Sunny Day Jack sfw while it's from an adult game) and because of the amount of adults ended up being creeps, i'm afraid for the sake of our safety (as i don't feel comfortable anymore having minors around me), it is best to not interact, even if adults being friends or interacting with minors is supposed to be normal.. (and before anyone says "you're not supposed to in the first place", minors and adults can chat without having to include sexual content but because of that, not anymore. Please do not suddenly call anyone a pedophile or groomer just because they interacted with a minor)

•Proshippers, lolicons..: While the two of us may be under a disagreement, you may discover that i'm not into incest and pedophile (or even those anime tropes atp, the example being a loli and stuff), any taboo topic that should be romanticized, even if fictional so please, if i'm not to your liking, it's best to block me. If you were to caught me writing such a thing then it's not for "romanticizing purposes", there's differences.

•Racists, anti-religious (someone who talks shit on religious people or religion itself and harass them), anti-LGBT, any kind of hatred towards a group: i don't think i need to explain the obvious, i do NOT want hate in my page.

•False accusers (someone who falsely accuses something with false evidences or without it), trolls, etc..: i don't care how much attention you ask for, i don't want you in my page.

•Anti-self insert/OC x Canon (someone who makes fun of people for doing self insert/OC x Canon): i don't care how it can be cringey to you, this page isn't for you.

•Pedophiles, incestuous, zoophiles...: do i have to state the obvious?

•A.I. 'artists': i'd rather interact with someone who actually is able to draw, no matter how bad it looks (their words) than someone who's lazy af and lie that they can when in reality, they're using a machine. Pick a pencil or just leave.

That's all for now.

[nanjokei]

no but it honestly really is tragic how joker basically has no real identity. i think the content added in royal is really good (should have been in base game but lol)

like, there is at least a clear thesis statement for minato and souji ("being indifferent to death until its time to go and realizing you actually do love the world and your friends that inhabit it" and "whether its the city or the boonies what matters is your connections with others for better or for worse".. ofc this is my own interpretation.) and they are a little similar but they are stories written by the same guy and he's known for recycling elements though i DO NOT consider having similarities in this case to be recycling.

wtf is up with joker? society is bad? i want to reform it? but the cops are ok. and actually idgaf. also (specifically in vanilla) akechi who is a direct result of Society Bad is actually a terrible person who should die.

i have always maintained that p5 is hashino at his most self indulgent... and his most spiteful. everyone knows about the artbook exerpts where he talks about the female social link characters in weirdly disparaging ways. i think ikutsuki and adachi are also reflections of his spite, but they are also a bit "relatable" to him. despite this the thoroughline for all three of his twist villains are his hateboner for anyone who seems nice on the surface (all three) and are perfect/good at a first glance (ikutsuki and akechi). akechi he wrote fully to be some kind of hatesink, it is honestly seriously meanspirited how far it goes, if you look at it from that angle it immediately becomes clear. this is not a post about akechi but i think it is important to talk about because of how critical it is to understanding hashino. with akechi it was so... yeah no you wrote this character to assauge some kind of deep rooted insecurity.

it's the same with ikutsuki, but at least for him, he was an adult. with akechi hashino was lording over a 16 year old in an abusive situation. after a while of thinking i could not really seperate that, knowing how spiteful his writing is. even with the p4 gang! look at everyone's shadow selves. and then compare to the p2 shadow selves. it is so spiteful and it is super clear to me that it is at least somewhat influenced by how he sees other people which makes me very sad to think about. i think he needs to clean his brain for real.

because p5 is the most indulgent in hashino's spite it really falls apart... and that influences joker immensely. we can sit here and talk about how p4 can get really unpleasant but at least at its core even if its weirdly executed the message of p4 is there even if the commitment to it is incredibly questionable. the reason why royal is so good is because the addition of maruki (and kasumi) injects a much needed angle of empathy into p5. needless to say the humanization of akechi in royal whos hatesink status in vanilla was so excessive it made little to no sense also helps.

i can't even talk about joker even though this post is about him. because he is so nothing in his own story. there's nothing to talk about. his existence or lack thereof outside of royal exclusive content makes no difference. you could make mishima the protagonist or any rando really and not much would change. joker's existence might as well just be to be an actual self insert, which is insane to me, i never consider most protagonists in ANYTHING self insert unless i am explicitly told "this is You, form You however you want" (like for example harvest moon).

[phoenixwrites]

I looked into some of their posts because I wanted to see the full info on both sides. I wanted to reach out to say they are really just something else. First, please know they are searching deep into your blog for your selfies and info that they can find, while who find one DID color over your face .... it's uncomfortable the territory they are on the fencing of. Stay safe. Second, I had a good cry as a csa and in general survivor too, because this is appalling, it's so freaking horrifying how YOU could be considered the same realm... they reblogged a PSA about someone else in ST fandom who writes genuine CSA like 6 year old x 20 year old Eddie, 12 year old x grown ass Steve and Billy, so on and not even all ST, but all is smut. A commenter was saying that they were going to write smut about a 12 month old. I wish I was joking or being dramatic. The someone claims they are writing it for their own trauma, but it really does not read from the screenshots of fic as such (vs how your posts seem missing context) I feel sick from seeing THAT callout post contents, THAT chilled me. I don't fucking know how you could be considered of the same cut like that kind of person ??? All over older Erica x Dustin ??? Like WHY deliberately take your asks and responses out of context, why are you evil for thinking about the characters grown, nothing to do with the actors? Yet they write self insert smut about teenaged Billy, Steve, so on. Include gifs of showering Billy. They seem hellbent on focusing on everything else, or maybe a personal projecting since they can't separate actor from character almost. Hell, even the camp counsellor Eddie x younger camper Chrissy fic they were blasting you for reading is different than freaking that someone's fics. This entire thing reads like a personal vendetta finding any morsel and making into some abomination. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this bullshit. Protect your peace and yourself from this insanity. Lots of love to you. This is long as crap so you don't have publish it, but I just felt like you deserved to know what was being said and compared.

Hi there! Thanks for your message. Seriously, guys, the support has been amazing and I can’t express how much I appreciate it.

I nosed through last night for a little bit but I think the benefit of my social media being very open over the years is…there’s not really much to find. I am far more boring than antis believe. Even my Erica fics will be particularly disappointing to those who are looking for ThoughtCrime—they are probably the tamest thing I’ve ever written. I will try to implement measures in case someone doxxes me or something.

I’m so sorry for you. I’m so sorry that you’re in this shitty club with me. I would not wish the flashbacks, the dehumanization, the guilt, the shame, the triggers, or the nightmares on anyone. The accusations they make about me are genuinely nauseating.

I’m not familiar with the other writer’s callout post you mentioned, but even if they are writing disturbing dead doves—we don’t know them. We don’t know why they wrote it, I don’t know their situation, I don’t know their reasoning, hell, it might all be out of spite. But I don’t want to “ugh look at this OTHER writer writing this gross stuff, YOU could NEVER be considered one of THEM”, you know?

I am not going to condemn a dead dove writer just because that is something I would never read. It’s words on a page. No one is harmed. As viscerally chilling and disturbing those plots are, they exist in the author’s brain. I don’t know WHY they exist in the author’s brain, if they’re processing their own shit or genuinely trying to titillate. I don’t really want to know either way. Either way is triggering to me. Either way, that is content that would make me throw up and I would avoid.

So I do the fucking ADULT thing and block those fics. Or ignore them. Ignoring them is a great tactic. Because I don’t know the author’s story and I would never try and assume that I do. I protect my own peace.

Another example. I have a weird trigger. It’s a trigger that is innocuous and harmless to most people. Some people really love the trigger. But I cannot abide it. I start having flashbacks. Anxiety attacks. Even just by SEEING this piece of media. And I feel a ton of shame for it because I blame myself, when actually it was my abuser’s fault. Not me. Not you. Never the victim. Ever.

But I do not expect tumblr to CATER to my trigger. I have this piece of media blocked on every social media site. I intentionally avoid it. My brother has even refused to accompany his friends on a Disneyworld trip because they were cosplaying as the Trigger and he didn’t want to trigger me. My community knows of it and they try very hard to use spoiler tags or ask others to spoiler it so I don’t interact with it. If I come on it accidentally (happened a lot during Philly, many breathing exercises were done and I had to step out a few times from the Artist’s Alley)

This is all MY responsibility. Not Tumblr’s. I cannot demand that every fic writer who writes about the Piece of Media that is a Trigger take it down for my own comfort, just because I am rightly and justly disturbed by it.

Oh, it is DEFINITELY a personal vendetta. Comes with the territory of any outspoken woman in fandom.

Your guys’ support means everything to me. And to all writers.

I’m sorry if this came off preachy or lecturing, I didn’t mean it that way. I just really, REALLY do not want people taking the mentality of “Phoenix isn’t writing this shit, but OTHER writers are, so let’s go harass them!” No.

Leave the dead dove writers alone. Leave all writers alone. If you do not like something, don’t read it, block the author, mute the tag, do whatever you can to protect your peace.

[marshmallowprotection]

Do you think shifting is real? I’m getting tiktoks on it again and I won’t lie it messes with my mental health as it convinces me I can go somewhere where I’m actually happy with all the media that’s comforted me for so long. I like how I’ve seen old posts of yours where you slap sense into people who want to shift and I need that right now. Ha.

If you're not hurting anyone or yourself, it's perfectly okay to journal, draw, and write all the fantasies you want. After all, what is the great comfort in media and fandom if not the experience of getting to see what it might be like to be friends with your favorite character? Or to see what it might be like to be with your favorite character in a more intimate setting like a date? There's nothing wrong with that!

Hell, I'll be writing these scenarios all day long for my comfort and others! It's fun to dabble in the heads of your favorite characters and see what it could be like if there was no universal divide. There's a lot of fun to be had in making your characters or even self-inserting into the media.

However, I don't care for the in's and out's of Reality Shifting in the sense of someone trying to explain to me how it isn't just another form of daydreaming. I won't argue if it's real or not. I will just say Shifting looks no different than daydreaming to me.

I'm sure that Shifting is just a form of mediation and daydreaming at the end of the day. It isn't harmful unless it impedes your life. Now, I won't tell people not to have fun. Listen, if you're having fun and you see that it helps you, that's okay. There's no need to get into the thick semantics of if Shifting is "real or not".

I'm not going to scold people for it. I want people to be able to have fun at the end of the day in the way that works for them best, and me talking about this isn't to shame anybody or make them feel bad. I'm just concerned for people's health. I just want people to be aware of the risks of excessive daydreaming and dissociation.

Because, it does not matter what you believe Shifting is, if you spend hours of the day in bed with your eyes closed tight when you have to do other things, that's not healthy for you. This goes for fantasizing of any nature, not just Shifting. 

I say this as someone who experiences Maladaptive Daydreams.

Your average daydream as you stare out of a math class window is not the same as a maladaptive daydream.

“Maladaptive” means you have an excessive amount of daydreams to cope with or adapt to a problem, and it doesn't solve the problem, it just allows you a chance to disconnect from reality to survive. It's not a healthy thing. It's not something I always enjoy. I wish people were more informed on the subject but it's not it's widely known.

I genuinely just want to warn people about excessive daydreaming. I want people to be well informed about what can sometimes happen when you experience a disconnection from your sense of self or your sense of reality. 

Hell, someone who's reading this might not even realize that there's a word to describe their Daydreams, and if that can at least help somebody understand that they're not alone, it's worth talking about. 

[Maladaptive Daydreaming]

Ever since I was young, I've daydreamed excessively to cope with things my little mind should've never had to have dealt with. It's a form of dissociation that's continued into my adult life to kept me cope, and that's true for many other people. This condition isn't a very widely known one or even vastly studied, but it does fall under the dissociative umbrella.

Imagine being immersed in a world that is so much better than your reality, now imagine what it might feel like to be pulled out of that. In that sense, you wouldn't want to leave the daydream. That's why it can be so addictive. It can get to the point where it interferes with your life on a day-to-day basis.  

I don't think there's anything wrong with daydreaming. I don't think there's anything wrong with having fun and imagining different universes. I think it's great that we can shape our minds to create so many wonderful things. I just worry for people who aren't informed about making sure that they are mindful in their consumption of fantasies. 

I can spend hours at a time in a daydream, totally disassociated from the world around me, and while having these vivid daydreams can make for a great writing experience later on, it's not fun to lose hours of your day. It is addictive, as it is a lot better to be in a reality where everything goes the way you want it to instead of the one where we live, you know, where things don't always go right. 

I've got a way better handle on this these days because I've got more tools and means to keep myself grounded, but the dissociation is still a part of my day to day life, even with progress.

I experience Derealization and Depersonalization in part because of this.

[A visual of Derealization vs Depersonalization].

I understand how people feel when they want nothing more than to be in a reality where they feel loved and cherished by characters who love them all the same. I get that, because that's where people start excessive daydreams when they are young, in most cases, not all of them.

I just worry for people who get too caught up in their fantasy that they forget to live in this reality, if that makes sense. We can "Shift", Daydream, or what have you any time, but at the end of the day, we live in this reality, and we can't change that.

We have to fight to make this reality a better one, even if this one doesn't feel as fun as holding Saeran Choi to your heart, you know?

Make this reality the one you want it to be.

Don't let yourself not have fun with fantasies, though, because there's nothing wrong with that. Make those CMCs and Self Inserts to have fun! I do it, too. At the end of the day, just be mindful of the way you consume daydreams and roads that help you shape realities in your mind, no matter the avenue you explore them because you deserve to have fun. 

Keyword: Moderation in your teenage, young adult, or adult life.

[poetandwolf]

About

Look it, see the little wolf creature? That is ‘me’. She is also my OC and self insert with in the series. :D She’s one of his creations and yes they have a very heavy master/pet relationship, while I don’t get much into that here. Bare in mind it my come up. So soft block me you need to.

With that said; I am a real adult. I may talk about adult things here. If you are not comfortable with that do not follow. I am not your dad. I can not monitor your internet interactions. But block/flag/whatever you do with a ‘NSFW’ tag if that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable but you still want to follow me. I know the whole “minors do not follow” is not as enforceable as it SHOULD be and you kids are gonna do whatever you want- fuck the police. This is my first and only warning. lmao.

Second, I am like. Not.. ‘hip with the kids’. I do not know all the terms and I also can not monitor or be up to date what is.. ‘bad’ with in fandom. I also kind of don’t care, lol. If someone I reblog or someone who follows me did something you don’t like or don’t agree with it is not my responsibility to keep track of others actions.

The Basics:

Hey there, I'm Tala or Grunge, or whatever. I'm a real adult over the age of 35 (that's all your getting. I am probably old enough to be your weird crazy aunt/uncle.) My F/O and spirit husband is Alhaz!ad/Alhazre!d. I often call him “Al” here or “Aub”.

INFJ, Scorpio, I'm trans-masc, trans-male/ftm and stealth irl.

Trans rights are human rights, and Protect Trans Kids

I draw, a lot, and paint. My hobbies also include hiking, working on my house, gardening, landscaping, spending time with my family, cooking, reading, and writing. I do take commissions - so if you’d like me to draw or paint you f/o. Look at my commissions :}.

Metal health check; ADHD/ASD - dx’d, in the early 90s. iirc. Retested and diagnosed with ADHD in 2022. Currently seeking treatment for it. Medication has been like night and day for me. So, fellow Autistics and ADHD’s. Welcome. I am negativing them both and it’s been a TIME. There are sighs of OSDD/DID. I have tried talking again and again with therapists making 100% Al is not apart of that; while when channeling him the symptoms are similar; he doesn’t fit the criteria.

Some what of a witch, well. I kind of do what works for me. There are *plenty* of other witch based blogs you’d wanna follow for those resources. This blog is more or less centered around my relationship with Aub. (Alhazred/Alhazad).

Before any judgments here that I might be some loser living in my parent’s basement. ...lol. No. I’m a real adult doing well on my own with a whole ass house, job, and car and all that neat stuff. You can be ficto and be independent, free, and happy. It took a tonne of work to get this far. And it was worth every penny.

Uh... I’ll update this as I get time. yes yes.

DNI:

DNI: It should go with out saying; MAPS, pedos, zoos, Nazis, TERFS, and any else of the sort. Nope. :|  If you're a HP fan and still support Robert you can go get fucked.

I'm also mildly scarred/due to trauma and it's hard to see DBZ (the saiyans), FF9, or PPG. I’m not saying *your* versions of said characters are bad, it’s just ahahaha.

System hoping is a grey area; you do what works for you. But-....if you are gonna come into my DM or Asks telling me how Aub visited you and did this and that and some bullshit magical adventure or slept with you or is involved in some astral war. I will block you and he will personally make your life a living hell. Don't do that shit to me, or anyone else for that matter.

[zerocksout]

1. My first OC ever was from DBZ. A Saiyan named Magenta (Mah-Gen-tuh) who was taken from the planet she was meant to destroy and experimented on by a rogue scientist running from the Frieza Force.

2. Yes. It's a tie between my OC from TMNT, Aria, and Titan from TSAMS AU.

3. Yes. Her name was Chusi-Chu from the Sonic Verse. She was a Komodo Dragon with fire magic who loved motorcycles, strength based and loved hand to hand combat, and playing the drums.

4. ...His name was Twitch...and he was a cicada mutant who was a horrible flirt and had the energy of a child on a sugar high. He kidnapped cats and children because he had a soft spot for them but was VERY off putting about it.

5. Andromeda

6. I don't have that... yet...

7. Uh, Dancing Through Space currently.

8. Not anymore! I wouldn't mind doing it some day, though.

9. I might make an adoptable some day. But none of my current ones.

10. Andromeda and Twitch are the most complex designs. Twitch was a cicada mutant based on Cell from DBZ's base form with a little more cicada like features. Andromeda is the first DCA OC I ever made with a bunch of tiny stars peppered all over her casing and rays and most of them were individually dotted on there.

11. Andromeda and Chusi-Chu

12. I don't have favorites. I love them all.

13. Twitch.

14. Between Aria and Magenta, I'd say they're equal in their own way. They were both kidnapped young and experimented on. Both managed to escape in young adult age. The difference is Magenta healed. Aria never did. She lived her life seeking vengeance and while she tried to love and move on, she had a lot of rage issues and tended to lash out a lot due to the trauma.

15. Yes. I really do. I don't mind discussing, explaining, answering questions and even going through various scenarios.

16. Titan

17. OC x OC? No. OC x Canon Characters?

Aria x Leonardo

Magenta x Piccolo (Platonic love/bbfs)

Or Magenta x Broly

Andromeda x Kill Code

18. Yes.

Aria x Raphael (they actually butt heads)

Aria x Donatello (if he wasn't big bro material)

Zevina x Sonic (she thinks he's stupid)

Andromeda x Titan (if he wasn't a jerk)

Andromeda x Eclipse

Titan x Solar

Titan x Earth (LMAO)

19. Zevina from Sonic verse. She had a little bit of everything that I enjoy and was a bit of a self insert. She didn't pair with anyone, didn't want anyone. She adopted two small kids as her siblings and cared for them. She was headstrong, independent and homeless. She just coasted through life and did whatever it took to protect her younger siblings. Zevina was my first and only Jack of All Trades and enjoyed life to the fullest. She was perfect and spunky and I'm SO MAD the Sonic verse was so TOXIC because I'll never play her again.

20. I am a theater kid. Almost all my OCs sing. Zevina's voice was based on the lead singer of Dorothy. Andromeda is based on Ekaterina Shelehova.

21. Aria liked to draw and paint.

22. Aria and Twitch. Aria was often mistaken for someone who is demure and weak. She's vicious... Twitch is often mistaken for a feral monster. He's just a feral toddler who wants friends.

23. Andromeda was the biggest change. She was actually meant to be the lead singer of a band at a strip club that goes out of business. Her and the band get sold to FazCo but she's the only one who got fixed up and becomes the new animatronic in charge of Bonnie Bowl which would have been renamed Striking Stars. She also was first designed to have hair like Roxy does but it was gonna be silver and flat and shoulder length.

24. Aria. So I could give her a hug and apologize.

25. Uh...Aria when she was human before she got mutated.

26. No. Never. I've never allowed someone to go 'I don't like that, change it.' I've said: You could scroll along and look away or you can block me. Ain't changing sh*t for anyone but for me.

27. Some of them were, actually. Andromeda was inspired by Loves Goes On and On by Amy Lee and Lindsey Sterling. Titan was inspired by So Cold by Breaking Benjamin. Aria was inspired by my Avenged Sevenfold playlist, especially Buried Alive. Magenta was inspired by Blow Me Away by Breaking Benjamin. Zevina was inspired by Geronimo by Sheppard. Twitch was inspired by Sandstorm.

28. Oof...Aria and Twitch are tied again. Aria for her anger and strength. Twitch because while he is a giant mutant child he's still a mutant and he CAN and HAS devoured people. Granted, they were bad people. But he's actually very lethal and unpredictable.

29. Titan.

30. Magenta. Saiyans don't need such things. They're warriors. But that's gonna stop her from collecting all of the food themed plushies and squirreling them away.

31. Out of all of them, Andromeda would definitely have a tumblr. She'd be taking a lot of nature pictures and posting them. She'd follow other nature based accounts and compliment each one she really liked and make a folder of saved photos. She'd also post a few pictures of the tree house with the twins running around in them. Andromeda would also take a lot of pictures of bugs and post videos of different spiders she'd find.

32. A tie between Titan and Magenta because they're the most level headed out of the bunch and won't freeze up under pressure. They'd be heavy into inventory and remembering where they came from not to mention actually paying attention to lore/information AND enemy patterns.

33. Aria.

34. Not...yet? It's a thought.

35. Zevina adopted Chusi-Chu as her sister.

36. Ahahaha yeah. Titan and Andromeda. Andromeda is dating Kill Code. Titan is a sad, strange metal man.

37. ...... NEITHER OF Y'ALL ARE HUMAN.

38. Andromeda (well she's programmed so...) Aria.

39. Well the ladies got introduced (even Twitch), so hiiii...this is Titaaaan... He's smart but he's got the emotional span of a teaspoon. He's very handy and is the Moon of his dimension. A security bot by night. Mechanic by day. He's very stoic and serious about his work. His emotional matrix needs some work. I hope he grows a bit. I think he could have been very sweet if he didn't prioritize work over building connections with others.

40. No. They're all spontaneous OCs that actually made it out alive of my headspace and into the real world. They're the lucky few.

41. A friend made a hand drawing of Magenta in high school. I still have it. My spouse made art of Aria and Zevina a few years ago :3 and my header is fanart! (The artist who made the header is tagged on my pinned!) So I have 4! And I cherish them SO SO SO MUCH! My serotonin 💕

42. Aria was into biology and history. Specifically marine biology and ancient history. She did this for fun to keep her mind busy and 'zen' to occupy her mind. Greek and Roman history were actually her favorite subjects.

43. Cute, feminine and lashes. But strong. Absolutely can curb stomp a bitch while looking pretty. Also the color purple. Magenta had...well... magenta-ish hair leaning to the purple-blue side. Zevina was an eggplant purple hedgehog. Aria had amethyst colored eyes. Andromeda has purple peppered on her frame. They all sing in some way. Aria and Andromeda dance. Magenta only hummed.

Titan and Twitch are tall AF.

44. While they have some similarities, they're each their own person in some way. They each hold a different part of me yet have taken a life of their own.

45. Callista (Zevina's other sister) she just kinda fell to the way side and never really took off. She was going to be a mage but I got side tracked by focusing on Zevina.

46. I was told I bullied Aria a lot. I mean. A LOT. And I look back on it and just get a thousand yard stare and think: Yeaaah.....I wouldn't change a thing.

47. Yes. Twitch. And I just had to ask. W H Y?!

48. ✨ Andromeda ✨

49. Aria. To cope with her stress, trauma and anger.

50. Aria: If I had the chance to switch my life and experiences with my younger sister, I'd go through this hell again. I'd rather go through it a thousand times if it meant keeping her safe. Master Splinter keeps telling me that: The challenges we face in this life can either mold us into a stronger being or break us into a creature of despair and anger. Healing takes time and energy. It's up to me to use that energy wisely.

Sometimes, it's hard to face my inner demons. I still have nightmares from being stuck in that underground cell...from all the experiments. The horrors I saw...

But then...I look at Master Splinter. At Leo. Don. Mikey. Maybe Raph... Heh. Maybe not just for my sister but for them -- I'd do it again.

I guess pain is a necessary evil and a part of life if you wanna get to the good stuff. (She is in love with Leonardo but will never speak on it because she knows she's not mentally capable yet and I was getting close to her breakthrough before she left the planet to stay with the Utroms/I stopped RPing TMNT)

Some OC questions

[bedsheetghost413]

Ghost rants about Mariko Tamaki's "Skim."

Honestly, the Mariko Tamaki hate is kinda deserved because "I am Not Starfire" is a shitty self insert, and "Skim" has a literal teacher-student romance that isn't ever shown as really bad or illegal. But I think people ignore her other work that is actually kinda good. I grew up reading her comics in middle school, and they felt important and like they had something profound to say. Probably because I was a gay tween trying to figure out myself, but it still shows that they still had an effect on me. Particularly "This One Summer" and "Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me."

It's also kinda weird how the only people I've seen actually review her work are "comics/media is getting too woke now!!1!1!!!11" types. Like, it feels like they're just hating on her without trying to understand why certain artistic choices were made or if there was any meaning behind a character's actions. I remember that the art teacher did tell Skim she wanted to end things, idk if it was when Skim came to her house after she left the school or another thing, but every review I've seen skips over that. I feel like with the inclusion of that part, the story becomes more of a "teacher takes advantage of a student who feels lonely and isolated, feels guilty and bad about it, student still doesn't understand because she isn't mature enough to realize what happened was wrong" story. The art teacher feeling bad doesn't do anything to make the situation better or absolve her of her actions. She was the adult, and she should have kept things professional and legal. But it changes how the reader can interpret the story. I still don't understand why it was included, though. It could've just been a "gets a first girlfriend and then she breaks up with me for no reason" romance instead, maybe even make the girlfriend her friend's older sister (but still within an acceptable age range) to imply that the girlfriend broke up with Skim because she felt bad about dating her little sister's friend.

I always thought of "Skim" as being about a high school girl who's angsty and shitty. We're getting a small glimpse of her life and what happens in that time frame. We see how there's a tragedy at her school that she sees the response to as being "over dramatic." Which is ironic because Skim herself is just as dramatic, not how she thinks her classmates are being, but in the way a kid on a TV show goes through an edgy phase. I think people forget that a protagonist can be an asshole because that's another complaint I see brought up all the time. Skim is an ass. You don't have to like her, she doesn't care if you do, but she also does because she wants to be liked. She's a teenager, anyone who's recently been a teen, one that was an outcast like Skim and had an edgy phase, can relate to that. You want to be cool, but not like the popular kids are cool, so you go too far in the other direction, and you feel like everyone else doesn't like you, so now you feel like an outcast.

Another thing I don't get people complaining about is the diary format and how it's "too disjointed." It's a diary. Is it supposed to be like reading a day by day basis of what happened and how and where and when? No! A diary is meant to be a collection of thoughts, feelings, and other shit you want to get off your chest. Does it always work? No. Does it mean it's a bad format? No. I feel like it fits with what "Skim" is going for. It just may not have been executed well.

I think I might re-read all the books of hers I read as a kid to see if they still hold up as much as I felt they did. It's been a good few years since I've read any of Mariko Tamaki's books, so maybe I'll interpret things differently now. I based all of the above on what I remember thinking and how I interpreted the book when I read it in middle school.

[hexonthepeach]

Hello! It's me again, the one from the last ask who ran out of positive adjectives to describe your masterpieces.

I have since then devoured and thoroughly enjoyed your notes on the ncta, and I'm so excited about all of that wonderful worldbuilding!

I also found your introduction, and I didn't know you're autistic! I am, too. I am also very shy, and in my case that has severely limited my life experience.

That made me kind of self-conscious about my writing — thoughts like "if I can't read people well, how can I write them?" or "would this thought process even make sense to anyone else?"

Would you say absorbing those things from movies and written work is enough? Additionally, how can I have my hyperfixations work for my writing not against it?

I'm so sorry for rambling, I hope you have a nice day! 🌷🤍

first and foremost thank you so much you really are such a good soul to come in with all of the adjectives i really feel like crying right now at how kind and real that is when I feel so undeserving of them.

thank you thank you thank you over and over again (and also sorry if i include both asks in one i want to make sure i answer you well and don't miss anything) but also apologies for not being able to make this brief

not to be narcissistic but i'm really grateful you read my lore and notes. it's one of the few things that i go back to ground myself knowing that i don't always have the energy to write but getting it out there has been meaningful. i wrote my fic over 8 months so i had a lot of time to think about things and edit and go back to ideas but the gist is i'm not a super good writer with a lot of references, i just let things carry me when i'm lucky enough to find them and pick and edit when i can.

not sure if you are familiar with the baader-meinhof phenomenon but there were a lot of weird moments writing out that first draft where i was wondering if the universe might be smiling on my absolutely weird delusional self-insert fantasy. knowing people have enjoyed reading it has been helpful, so again thank you so much

i'm going to answer your questions as honestly as i can as someone who realized they were autistic after i turned 30-something and am still struggling with my own internal questions about what that means, as well as how i approach the rest of my life. like i knew when i was a kid but they didn't really have the language for it then for afab persons, they just put you in special classes and testing and thought it was funny you could memorize full books you read. for a long time i desperately wanted to be "normal" and there might still be a space in my heart that does regardless of how angry it makes me to think it's necessary

so, that said, i was able to have a lot of life experiences. pretending to be normal, and sometimes not. but it felt like, and still feels like, they were at a great cost.

one of the pivotal experiences for me back in 201x when i reached my burnout mode as an afab adult was learning from other f-presenting asd persons about how socialization constructs our experiences. we learn how to wear masks and we learn how to read people and we learn how to say things separate from our own, personal sense of self. i really thought that was the way the world worked for a long time and was maybe lucky enough or maybe cursed enough to be called out on it multiple times as an adult. it made me more cognizant of the fact that when other people are present, my only desire is to disappear

this kind of mentality is also pretty common from people who have been through abuse and trauma (which unfortunately i have also been through) but when you're a self-actualized adult as a child/teen because your brain is working more than people expect it to, it's normal to feel lost. and it does get worse when you try to be "normal".

im luckily older so i don't feel compelled to fit in and have made friends with a lot of other neurodivergent individuals. but what ive also found though is what is "normal" doesn't really exist and questioning it is really more of a gift than anything. it's why a lot of autistic individuals don't feel bound by concretization of gender or sexuality or societal constructs in general, or feel bound to them from some ethical or moral framework that doesn't actually exist. so when i think about the correct way to apply what ive observed i dont always feel bound to it, i guess?

that's how i write, and how i will imagine people is sort of existing outside of those boxes

i think i may have already answered your question in terms of "how can my hyperfixations work for my writing not against it?" but just to belabor the point a little more

fiction exists as a liminal space where we can experience things without being personally affected by them. and if you have difficulty, like i do, reacting to anything as it happens when you do find the courage to participate, oftentimes you will find yourself in a place where a performance makes the most sense.

ive always really enjoyed theater and media for that reason as well as transformative writing because it does have a level of self-actualization. i honestly think imitation is the highest form of flattery as well so that’s why i pull a lot of other work in but on an introspective level i think it makes sense why i hyperfixated on kpop for the last few years because it's the unreality that makes it special. 

when you know what it takes to be something you are not, you understand that there is a person underneath--acting or writing or performing--that you cannot and do not need to involve, and you are free to take the skin off of it or a surface level reading and make it your own. but it’s also something to relate to and even if i don’t always have the words to describe how i feel i think those emotions are still there and can be invoked by studying the way others present them

and not to be too forward with my advice but the best i've received in the past for writing is to be authentic to yourself without fear of judgment. because even if you believe you don't have an audience, there are always people out there who will have a similar experience. don't be afraid to idealize situations you have not been in and walk yourself through with a hand held internally through it. no one is going to give you a quiz or a test at the end, they'll just be grateful you helped them through it, too if you share it with them

i legitimately am rambling now but it's so nice to meet you and i hope i gave you a little bit of courage to continue creating, as you do me

bless, and thank you

[onewomancitadel]

@anomalous-fox said:

God it's so dumb. It's always the people who have no exposure to fanfic or even actively turn up their nose at it that feel emboldened to speak the most on it, when it literally couldn't affect them less. Every single criticism of the donation drive is like, the op doesn't even have a functioning grasp of what ao3 exists to be. It's so tiresome.

I mean sometimes I wonder how close I am to the issue that I lose sight of the fact that this is bizarro weird nerdy shit and most of the social perception of fanfic is 'my anime crossover self-insert' or 'mafia boss abducts me and makes me his maid' or 'my mum sold me to One Direction' so, the idea of anybody having money in their pockets to donate (mothers often make the largest demographic for entertainment spending) and actually having real motivation for doing so (when they should be donating to uhhh ME!!!!! nevermind that from a charity perspective, I really think people need to be made aware of services and charities that can support them without having to solely rely on online donations) is laughably absurd. Like, why would anyone do that, AO3 is for freaks. Well, I don't use social media outside of Tumblr (which is a microblogging platform, kind of a hybrid leftover) and based off of how much time I spend on writing, and specifically fanfic writing, there's real incentive for me to try to 'give back' in the ways that I can when the rest of the Internet is fucked.

But the demographic bit is interesting because again, most people with an elastic budget are going to be adults (and I gather that a lot of people involved in this discourse don't have much of a conception of budgeting) and in this case I think it's also really gendered. Then you've got that age-tension where the silly women who should be in the kitchen are... doing things? They're reading weird fanfic where Hawkeye and Pierce make lovey eyes at each other? The Fandom OG's are the Spirk housewives. God bless.

Anyway, I have actually seen people in fandom mock the idea of donating to AO3, and I get it - being a little edgy is part of the fun of being online, staking territory in a silly little issue is part of the fun - but on the other hand I sort of don't, because it's bad faith to say that AO3's donation drive is the same as any other. What prompted this post was someone saying that it's hysterical to conflate supporting AO3 with ~supporting free speech and marginalised voices~ and whilst I think people can get a little heated with the rhetoric... Chinese women have been arrested for writing slashfic??? There was recently someone trying to get on the board of AO3 to moderate AO3's content (with vague language, mind you) which - to the consternation of pro-censorship Leftists - will always be used against Leftist interests (always. Always. Always always always). Like, yeah I think the pro vs. anti debate is absurd and deserved of nuance, but this is a genuine issue which affects people in the real world, and it's sooo weird that it's AO3 that people get weird about in particular. None of these people want to have a conversation about actually hard stuff (like do they want to talk about CSAM on pornography websites in broad daylight?)

I just don't know what it is about AO3 that gets people fired up. I honestly think it might come down to the social grossness of nerd shit. To circle back to the point of my reply, most peoples' perception of nerd shit is... sweaty gross nerd shit, not the sleek clean Funko pop collector or that guy who's a little too much into Marvel, I really mean in the general social dislike of nerdery and the antisocialness associated with it. When you strip away the Internet aesthetics of social justice ~discourse~ it comes back to the most simplistic stuff.

I have argued in the past that anti and proshipping is the new schoolyard bullying - there is almost very little real moral nuance to be had - but I think this is more of the same stuff. Literally schoolyard shit. This is why they speak with such derision of the website and yeah, I think the whole 'fanfic is real literature' thing has never taken up in the mainstream at all, ever. Most people are very quick to mock this idea, and as much as I think the 'Dante's Inferno is fanfic' opinion is completely fucking stupid, I don't think there's ever been a social shift in favour of fanfic. I think we are permanently in the 'fanfic is for nerds and weirdoes' zone, and I think we probably have to reckon with that - because that, maybe above all, is motivating this type of discourse.

Well I think I'm feeling a little bit better today than I was yesterday.

I love extremely bad faith takes on AO3 doing donation drives. It's my most used website and supports one of my major hobbies, it is not at all like not giving money out to people on my dashboard and there is absolutely no need to conspicuously advertise how much I do or don't donate to charity. It's like fucking asking for tithings sometimes with this website

Seriously, this is why I don't get people being weird about spending money on Tumblr. This is like the last decent website left anymore that has a mostly active userbase where I can post a lot of my writing and engage with people in my hobby; whilst I'm largely against the monetisation and corporatisation of the Internet, this is probably one of the very few ways to combat it against, you know, shareholder interest lol.

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

billy/stu (and the rest of the slashers if you want) x child! reader (platonic) with like some 11 year old kid who’s ✨unstable✨ ex like meltdowns n basically said kid is just a sad little critter who needs help-

if you can’t complete it/write it DW i completely understand since it’s a *heavy* topic ! ^^ also if i didn’t give enough detail lmk i’ll rewrote my thought! tysm! :3

You talking abt 11 year old me? 😔 Sorry I'm adding some self inserts here and there, I can't help it.

Billy n Stu with unstable child reader!

Both are extremely concerned for you, I mean adults and teenagers? Yeah that's pretty common but a literal 11 yo child?

Will try the best of their abilities to help you even if it doesn't make much impact at least it's progress.

Will silence anyone who dares to say something about you, they're not the one experiencing so what would they know.

It crushes their hearts almost into dust seeing you breakdown after things get a bit too tough for you. Will try to eliminate anything that caused you to be like this.

They feel hopeless.

But they don't give up, they try to give you much fun in life as possible. If you don't like being outside that's ok, they can spend the time inside. Don't like the sun or bright light? That's ok you three can hang out at night or somewhere dark.

If you show any symptoms of depression, anxiety, etc etc+ seeing therapists, psychiatrist and shit it is! Will be hesitant if you tell them you don't want to and will be happy if you tell them you do.

They want you to get better as much as you do too. They'll never make you feel like you're doing this all by yourself, like you're suffering all alone with no one else to help you or know what is happening to you.

Becomes really protective of you but they try not to make it visible because they don't want you to think they pity you. All they want is to be by your side and is scared you might get the wrong idea.

If it makes you feel better and takes your mind off of things they'll take you on their little silly killings.

Please tell me if I should add more things <3