#and finished this a week or two ago so i'm glad to finally get this transferred to digital wjgdkh

[dollofdeath]

catching up on whale weekly

[unabashegirl]

Camping — oneshot

Harry and Y/N were friends in college until that day. Now they are being forced to face one another...

Author's note: this one shot was posted on Patreon a long time ago. Happy that you all have a chance to read it!

check out my patreon and get access to this week new one shot (y/n's bff dad) and much more :)

warning: smut

word count: 4.8K

masterlist

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"I can’t believe you’re making me do this," she said as April tossed her backpack into the back of her car. "This feels like kidnapping."

"Stop being so dramatic and get in the car," April replied, a big smile on her face. You and April had been best friends since college, bonding over the ridiculous workload assigned to your class each week. You were opposites: you loved city life, running water, and comfort, while April thrived on nature, adventure, and challenges. She adored plants and meticulously cared for the ones she had at home. In contrast, April had once gifted you a cactus, which you managed to kill.

"I got us muffins and coffee from that place you love," April said.

"Is this your way of bribing me into going?" you asked, reaching for the bag of treats. "I know this is Mark’s idea." April just shrugged as she started driving.

"Aren’t you tired of the city? This will be good for you! All you do is work, sleep, watch The Office, work out, and repeat," April said, giggling as you stopped chewing.

"Leave The Office out of this," you warned. It had been your favorite show since high school, your comfort show, always playing in your apartment. You even tried to get others hooked on it. "I’ve seen you laugh."

"Listen, there’s something I need to tell you," April said, turning down the music.

"Did Mark propose?" you asked immediately, knowing they were endgame. The three of you had met in college and stayed close ever since.

"No," April replied.

"You’re pregnant then?!"

"Shut up!" April interrupted. "Harry is coming. Mark invited him, and I had no say in it," she blurted out, like ripping off a band-aid.

"Oh! Let me out. I am not going," you said, instantly annoyed at the mention of his name. "I thought Mark and he weren’t friends anymore."

"He just came back from America. He called Mark a few weeks ago, and they had drinks and dinner together. Apparently, he’s changed and is more mature." You rolled your eyes as you finished eating your muffin. Your appetite was gone, and you felt suddenly nervous. "You have to let go of that grudge against him!"

"It’s not a grudge, April. The man ghosted me after we had sex. That was all he was after. Him leaving was the best thing that could have happened to all of us," you said. You had fallen for his charm, and after much convincing, you finally gave in during your senior year.

"You’ve moved on, and so has he. I’m just asking you to be polite, babe," April insisted. "I just want us to have a good time."

You sighed, leaning back in your seat as the cityscape blurred past. "Fine. But if he starts anything, I'm not holding back."

April laughed, patting your leg. "That's the spirit. Just remember, we're here to relax and have fun."

The rest of the drive was filled with casual chatter and music, the tension slowly easing. As you neared your destination, a clearing in the woods where you would set up camp, you couldn't help but appreciate the serene beauty of the place. The stress of city life began to melt away, replaced by a reluctant sense of peace.

April parked the car and you both got out, stretching your legs and taking in the fresh air. "It’s gorgeous out here," you admitted begrudgingly.

"See? Told you it would be worth it," April said, grinning.

Mark emerged from behind the car, waving. "Hey, you two! Glad you made it. I'm surprised you managed to convince Y/N,” he said, wrapping his arms around April.

“It took a lot,” April giggled as Mark kissed her cheek. “Muffins and coffee.”

“I can still go back,” you said, throwing your backpack over your shoulder. “How long is this hike going to take?” you asked, walking up to Mark and giving him a friendly side hug.

“About thirty minutes. Is that fine or are you going to melt?” he teased, grinning.

April slapped his chest playfully before opening the trunk to get the rest of the stuff out. “Where’s your friend, anyway? Or is he still the unpunctual asshole he always was?”

“M’ right here” Harry said as he emerged from the trail that they were going to take to the campsite. You abstained from saying anything surprised at his appearance. He had kept his good looks. He had even gotten more attractive with more age. However, you would never admit it aloud.

April turned to look at you with her eyes widen opened. You gave her the same look, letting her know that you agreed. Harry wore tiny black shorts that left little to imagination. His legs seemed to never end and his thighs were inked. His grey shirt was tight enough sculpt his chest and his pectorals. His curls were tucked under his basketball cap and his eyes hidden away by some aviator sunglasses.

“You were saying, Y/N? I didn’t catch the last part” Harry asked you, with a small smirk. “Are you still a yapping bitch?”

“Just that we should start the hike” You responded, looking straight at him. You weren’t the same quiet and shy girl you were in college. You had matured and life experiences had shaped you. You were more outgoing and vocal about your opinions.

“I thought so” you heard him say as you turned your back towards him.

As you all gathered the camping gear, the anticipation of the weekend settled in. The woods were peaceful, with the sun filtering through the trees, casting dappled shadows on the ground. Birds chirped in the distance, and the fresh scent of pine filled the air.

Mark led the way, carrying the heavier equipment with Harry, while April and you followed. Despite your reservations, the beauty of the surroundings began to work its magic, and you found yourself relaxing a bit.

After a short walk, you reached the designated camping spot, a small clearing by a bubbling brook. It was picturesque, almost like a scene from a nature magazine. You couldn’t help but admit, if only to yourself, that it was a nice change from the city’s hustle and bustle.

"That was more than thirty minutes," you complained, dropping to the ground to rest your legs. "You're lucky the view was pretty." Mark and April laughed, while Harry remained silent, just watching you.

"Let's set up camp," Mark said, and he and April began unloading the gear. You took the opportunity to pull out the speaker and connect your phone.

As you selected a playlist, music filled the air, blending with the natural sounds of the forest. You watched as Mark and April worked together seamlessly, their laughter and chatter a comforting background noise. Harry joined in, helping with the heavier items, his actions precise and deliberate. You couldn’t help but feel a simmering resentment toward him, remembering the night that had led up to the hate that you had grown towards him.

You glanced around, taking in the beauty of the campsite. Tall trees encircled the clearing, their leaves rustling in the soft breeze. The nearby brook added a soothing melody to the scene, and the late afternoon sun cast a warm, golden glow over everything.

Harry approached, handing you a bottle of water. "You looked like you could use this," he said, his tone neutral.

"Thanks," you replied curtly, accepting the bottle but avoiding eye contact. His gesture did little to ease the tension between you.

With the tents set up and the campsite organized, the four of you gathered around the fire pit. Mark expertly built a fire, and soon the flames were crackling as the sun descended behind the trees, providing warmth and a focal point for the group.

"How was America?" Mark asked Harry as he handed him a beer. "Did you enjoy living there?"

"It was nice for a while," Harry replied, taking a sip. "But it got lonely after a bit. I'm actually happy to be back."

"Marketing, right?" April asked, earning a quick nod from Harry.

You listened quietly, not fully trusting his cheerful demeanor. It was hard to forget the history between you.

"Well, we're glad to have you back," Mark said, clinking his beer bottle against Harry’s. "It’s like old times again."

April smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, just with more responsibilities and less reckless behavior."

"Speak for yourself," Mark joked, earning a playful nudge from April.

Harry chuckled, but his eyes kept drifting toward you. You avoided his gaze, focusing on the fire instead.

Mark instantly got up from his spot, his eyes twinkled mischievously as he took off his jacket and shirt.

April raised an eyebrow, “What are you doing?!”

“I’m going for a swim” he said, grinning widely as he took of his pants along with his boxers.

You burst out laughing, shaking your head as you covered your eyes not wanting to look at your best friend’s boyfriend privates.

“A swim? It’s pretty late, Mark.” April said as Mark used his hands to cover himself.

“Why not?” Mark said, standing up and stretching. “We’re out here in the middle of nowhere, no one around for miles. It’ll be fun.” He wanted to cut the tension. He wanted for everyone to have fun and it was a way to get everyone out of the funk especially the both of you. “Oh, it’s fucking cold” He said as he ran towards the lake.

April rolled her eyes but smiled. “You’re crazy, you know that?” she yelled after him as she got up from her spot.

“That’s why you love me,” Mark quipped, winking at her.

You bit your lip, considering it. The idea was wild and spontaneous, something you wouldn’t normally do. But maybe that’s what made it appealing.

“Alright,” you said, surprising yourself. “I’m in. But if anyone mentions this to anyone back home, I’m denying everything.” as you started stripping. You couldn’t see Harry, but you could feel Harry’s stare on you.

April laughed. “This should be interesting. Okay, I’m in too.”

Mark clapped his hands together. “Harry?” He yelled as he splashed water. The water was surprisingly warmer than expected.

As soon as your pants came off, you sprinted towards the water, not wanting to give anyone a chance to inspect your body. April followed right behind you, and before you knew it, both of you were submerged in the cool, refreshing water.

The initial shock of the cold water took your breath away, but it quickly turned invigorating. You surfaced, laughing and pushing your wet hair out of your face. April emerged beside you, her laughter echoing across the lake.

"This is crazy!" she shouted, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Harry was right behind, diving into the water with loud splashes. The four of you swam around, the thrill of the spontaneous adventure making everyone giddy.

"Not your worst idea, Mark," you admitted, floating on your back and gazing up at the starry sky. "This is lovely." Mark grinned, splashing water at you.

“Things haven’t changed at much. We still let you convince us into doing shit” said, his tone lighter than it had been all evening.

For a while, you all floated and swam, the cool water refreshing and the company surprisingly pleasant. The tension and animosity seemed to wash away with the gentle waves.

The atmosphere grew quieter as April nestled closer to Mark, the two of them wrapped up in each other's presence, sharing quiet moments and exchanging soft words. The only sounds breaking the silence were the faint music playing in the background and the gentle crackling of the fire.

You glanced over at April and Mark, their closeness evident in the way they leaned into each other, their whispered conversations carrying an intimacy that made you smile despite yourself. It was a rare sight, seeing them so openly affectionate, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of envy mixed with genuine happiness for them.

Harry saw opposite you, lost in his thoughts as he stared at the sky. The events of the evening seemed to have softened his demeanor, his usual guarded expression replaced by a contemplative look. For once, the animosity between you felt less palpable, overshadowed by the camaraderie of the evening.

The music played softly in the background, a soothing backdrop to the quiet moments shared among friends. The night air was cool against your skin, but the warmth of the water and the company kept you comfortable.

"It's good to see you again, pup," Harry spoke up suddenly, his voice breaking the peaceful silence. The old nickname tugged at your emotions. He had called you that since college, back when you both shared dreams and aspirations.

You looked at him, caught off guard by his unexpected warmth. "Yeah," you replied softly.

"I heard you landed your dream job," he continued, glancing at you with a hint of a smile. You nodded, trying to conceal your own smile. "A reporter for BBC News. I remember how you used to talk about it non-stop. Proud of you."

“Thanks. How is your mom and Gemma?" you asked, recalling that final year of uni when Harry had invited you to his family home. It had been Easter weekend, a time when you got to meet the two women who made Harry’s world turn.

Harry's face softened at the mention of his family. "They're doing well," he replied, a hint of fondness in his voice. "Mom's as busy as ever, and Gemma is a mum now”

"Wait, what?!" You were taken aback, genuinely surprised by the news. It was unexpected, and you hadn't seen it coming.

Harry chuckled softly at your surprised reaction, his eyes reflecting a mix of amusement and pride. "Yeah, she had a baby girl a few months ago," he explained, his voice tinged with happiness. "It's been quite the adjustment, but she's doing great."

You couldn't help but smile at the thought of Gemma as a mother. "That's amazing," you replied genuinely. "Congratulations to her."

As you processed this new information, you felt a twinge of nostalgia for the times you had spent with Harry and his family. It seemed like another lifetime ago, yet the memories were still vivid in your mind. Despite the distance that had grown between you, moments like these reminded you of the bonds that once connected you.

"Listen, Y/N..." Harry began, but he was swiftly cut off by Mark and April.

"We're heading out. We are starving!" Mark called out, trailing after April as they exited.

Harry paused, his words hanging in the air as Mark and April hurriedly headed towards the campsite. You exchanged a glance with Harry, both of you momentarily sidelined by the interruption.

“I’ll see you out there” You said, trying to sound casual despite the awkwardness of the moment. Deep down, you wondered what Harry had wanted to say—whether it was something about the past or the tentative future you both seemed to be tiptoeing around. However, you didn’t want to stay behind. You weren’t skeptical about giving him a chance to explain himself.

Carefully, you swam back to shore and climbed out of the water. Attempting to regain your composure and stride confidently back to camp, you couldn't help but feel you'd failed miserably, especially with the chilly air gnawing at you.

Everyone changed into comfortable clothes while Mark prepared hot dogs for dinner.

"Did you bring your sleeping bag?" April asked, emerging from her tent.

"Yeah, I think so. It was in the hall by the door," you replied, brushing your hair. As you watched April search for it, a feeling of panic began to creep in. You mentally retraced your steps, recalling the things you had taken out of the trunk.

"No way," you muttered under your breath, frantically rummaging through your belongings. "I thought we grabbed everything!"

"What’s wrong? What are you looking for?" Harry asked, wanting to help.

"I think I left my sleeping bag at home," you sighed, realizing it was going to be a tough night. You had brought your tent, but sleeping on the bare ground wasn’t part of the plan.

Harry frowned, considering the situation. "we'll figure something out," he said, his voice reassuring.

Mark, overhearing the conversation, turned from the campfire where he was tending to the hot dogs. "I brought an extra blanket. It's not a sleeping bag, but it should help.”

"Thanks, Mark," you said, grateful for the gesture. Still, the thought of an uncomfortable night's sleep loomed over you.

April emerged triumphantly with a blanket. "Here, hopefully this makes it more comfortable," she said.

You took the blanket from her, managing a small smile. This trip was definitely not going as you had expected—it seemed like one thing after another.

"Hot dogs are ready!" Mark announced cheerfully as he handed everyone their plate and they gathered around the fire.

“Remember the last time we went camping?” April asked as she swallowed a bite of her hot dog.

“Wasn’t that the time that Mark though there was a bear attacking us?” Harry smirked, taking a bite of his hot dog. “What animal was it?”

“It was a racoon” You joined in, the memory making you chuckle.

“In my defense it was SO loud! It made a lot of noise” Mark laughed, shaking his head. “It was bloody big”.

"Was that before or after you tried to scare it away by singing 'Eye of the Tiger' at the top of your lungs?” April busted out laughing.

“He was so off-key. I am surprised the racoon put up a fight”

“I was just trying to protect us!” Mark threw up his hands in mock indignation.

Everyone busted into laughter again, the tension had melted away in the shared amusement. For a moment, it felt like old times, with jokes and stories like in college.

Later, as you settled into your tent with the borrowed blanket, you couldn’t help but think about all the conversations that you had with your friends. Harry's earlier attempt to talk still lingered in your mind, and you knew that the conversation was far from over.

Just as you were about to drift off, you heard a soft knock on the tent flap. "Hey, you still awake?" It was Harry’s voice.

You sat up, your heart beating a little faster. "Yeah, what’s going on?"

Harry unzipped the tent entrance and peeked in, holding a sleeping bag. "I thought you might need this."

"You brought an extra one?" you asked, suspicion creeping into your voice.

"Yeah," he replied, but his eyes betrayed him. You knew Harry too well to be fooled.

"You're lying," you said, stopping him just as he turned to leave. "You can’t fool me. I know you, Harry Styles. I know this is your sleeping bag."

He paused, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. "So, what if it is?"

"That I’m not taking your sleeping bag from you," you insisted, handing it back to him. "Thank you, though."

He hesitated, the flickering firelight casting shadows across his face. "Let's share it then," he suggested softly.

You blinked, taken aback by his offer. You were nervous. The though of you sharing such a tight space and being in such proximity made your heart beat faster and the palms of your hands sweaty.

“Are you sure?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” he said firmly, stepping into the tent. “It’s cold, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable”.

With a nod, you scooted over to make room. Harry stretched out the sleeping back and unzipped it for both of you. As you both settled into the sleeping bag, the proximity was comforting, but unsettling at the same time. The warmth of his body next to yours was a stark contrast to the chilly night air. You both shared a pillow and the blanket that April had giving you.

His scent enveloped you — a mix of pine, musk and a hint of the campfire smoke. His warmth radiated through the thin layers of the fabric, soothing the chill of the night air. The gently rise and fall of his chest against your back created a rhythmic presence. His arm draped lightly over your side and the sensation of his body pressed against yours brought an unexpected sense of nostalgia.

“Are you confortable?” He whispered as if sharing. secret, as if what you were doing was somehow forbidden.

You nodded slight, feeling the wright of his questions. “I am” you whispered back, the darkness amplifying the intimacy of the moment.

The silence that followed was filled with the soft sounds of the forest and the distant crackle of the campfire outside.

“Thank you” you murmured, your voice barely audible.

“No problem” he replied softly, his words brushing against the back of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to sink into the moment. There was still something in the air. Something unspoken.

“Remember that night?” Harry whispered after a while, his voice a gently murmur in the quiet night. Referring to the night of passion that they had shared back in uni. The night that had stayed with you ever since.

“Every second of it” you replied, your voice tinged with a mixture of longing and hurt. Memories flooding back, vivid and bittersweet. You could still recall the feel of his lips, the way his touch had ignited a fire within you. “Why did you never call or text back?”

Harry sighed softly, his warm breath against your neck. “I was a coward,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret. “I was scared of what I felt for you, of how much you meant to me. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I ran”

His words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions. You turn slightly to look at him, your eyes searching his for the truth. In the dim light of the tent, you could see raw vulnerability that he rarely showed.

“I thought I wasn’t good enough for you” You admitted, “I resented you for it” Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of relief and sorrow.

“I am wrong. I was so wrong. I missed you” he confessed. Harry reached out, gently brushing a tear from your cheek.

The air between you grew thick with unspoken words and lingering emotions. His eyes locked onto yours, his gaze intense and unwavering. You could feel yourself drawing closer, every inch of space between you crackling with tension. The warmth of his body, the gently rise and fall of his chest and the soft brush of his breath against your skin all conspired to lure you to him.

He hesitated, his eyes flicking down to your lips, and you felt like your breath hitch, the moment stretching into an eternity. The desire to close the gap, to feel the familiar yet thrilling sensation of his kiss, was overwhelming and every fiber of you yearned for that kiss that would final bridge all those years of resentment.

Harry’s gaze was intense, his eyes searching yours as if trying to decipher your every thought. His hand trembled slightly as he reached out, cupping your cheek with a tenderness that spoke volumes.

With a deep breath, Harry leaned in slowly, closing the miniscule gap between you. His lips brushed against yours with a feather light touch, tentative yet filled with longing. His lips were warm and soft, fitting against yours as if they had always belonged there.

A soft sigh escaped Harry’s lips, a mixture of relief. His hand moved from your cheek to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer. The kiss deepened, each movement a silent confession of years of yearning and regret.

Lost in the moment, you ran your fingers through his hair, savoring the texture and the closeness it brough. His touch sent sparks through your body, awakening every nerve ending with a delicious ache between your legs that only he could take care of.

“Let me have you” His breath mingling with yours as he whispered, “I want you so bad” His hand took yours, guiding it to him, making you feel the intensity of his longing and the very evident erection that he had grown for her. His words hung in the air, heavy with desire.

You nodded slowly, your breath hitching in your throat. "Yes," you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation. "I want you too.” You didn’t think much about it. Your mind was too clouded.

Harry closed the distance between you, his lips capturing yours in a kiss both tender and urgent. He used the kiss to roll you to your side with your back towards him. Harry pulled off the sweater off your body and pull the straps of your bralette off your shoulders, exposing more skin for his lips to capture.

Harry hands came down to your pants as his lips trailed down to your neck, each kiss a lingering, deliberate caress that sent shivers down your spine. As his mouth found the sensitive spot just below your ear, he paused, letting his lips brush lightly over your pulse point before his right hand found its way into your underwear.

“Try to stay quiet, yeah?” As his fingers started playing with you, touching your most intimate spots. His knee came between your legs, spreading them more and allowing him to explore more of you.

Harry left arm went under her head, for you to rest your head against his bicep while he had his way with you. You bit your lips, arching your hips towards his hand just as his fingers entered you. A rush of pleasure coursed through you, mingling with a cascade of nerves that made your heart race.

“God. You are so wet, pup” He groaned as he tried his best to contain himself. Harry left hand came down to cover your mouth as your moans got louder. “You are doing so good, baby”, he mumbled, his arms tightening around you.

“For the love of fuck” you gasped as you came undone on his fingers. It was hot, you were both still nuzzled in the sleeping bag. Just as you unzipped the sleeping bag and sat up, you caught Harry sucking the same two fingers that had been in you a second ago.

“Come here” Harry commanded as he slipped off his joggers and boxers. It was a sight that she hoped to never forget. The muscles of his abdomen flexed proof that he spent his diligent time at the gym. His erection stood tall and proudly inviting you to ride him.

You slipped off your pants and underwear. Harry hands gripped your waist tightly and guided you down on to him. The pleasure was instant as he stretched you out. Harry’s fingers gripped you tightly, holding you still for a second as you both adjusted to the sensation.

His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as his head was thrown back.

“Show me how much you missed me” You said to him which only ignited the fire within him. His hands guided your hips, as you both tried to find the perfect rhythm to drive you off the edge.

“Look at you. So fuckin’ perfect just f’me” Your words only ignited the fire within him, a spark that quickly grew into an all-consuming blaze.

His hands firmly guided your hips, every movement deliberate and driven by an intense desire to bring you both to the peak of ecstasy. The sensation of his strong hands on your skin, the way he moved with you, sent waves of pleasure rippling through your body. You both sought the perfect rhythm, each thrust and shift in sync, the friction and pressure building with every passing second.

“Oh, baby… you are so tight” he moaned, Harry’s grip tightened on your waist, his fingernails digging into your skin. Your thrust and grinding became sloppier and soon enough both of you were moaning. You clenched around him as Harry lifted his hips from the ground as you both came undone.

You laid down on his chest with him still in you. It was comforting, having him in you. Harry’s hands came up and brushed your sweaty hair back.

“You aren’t going to disappear now, are you?” You asked as he drew patterns on your sweaty back.

“I am not going anywhere”.

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Hangman Trying To Convince You To Go Out With Him

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin X FemReader

Rating: T

Warnings: Beer, flirtations, and teasing

Word Count: 1.4k

(A/N:) Wow! Look at me having a Top Gun idea in what seems like forever! I always love going back to movies I wrote so much for! But sometimes it takes a hot minute to get imagine ideas, but I had this idea a few weeks ago and it's been a little bit of a pain to get it from my brain into a post. But I finally succeeded and hopefully this makes the Hangman/ Glen Powell fangirlies happy! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

Taglist: @chaoticcassidy, @the-marshals-wife, @hotch-meeeeeuppppp

The Hard Deck was more rowdy than it had been in awhile. With the Top Gun pilots celebrating a hard won victory, them and everyone on base had came in to celebrate. It was busy enough that Penny called in backup to help serve the rambunctious pilots who deserved every drink they ordered. It wasn't often that she called you in, but when Penny did you knew that the night was going to be a crazy one. You had a reputation amongst the pilots, as being no nonsense and out right refusing any advances towards you before the navy men even finished a sentence. While the rumors kept the majority of would be suitors away, it only made the top pilots in Top Gun more bold.

With drink orders coming in so fast that you were barely able to keep up with them. Penny stayed close by picking up the orders you couldn't handle and ringing up tabs. You didn't pay much attention to the people that came to the counter until a familiar uniform caught your eye.

"Give me just a second and I'll be right with you," you handed off two beer bottles before setting into opening several more.

"I'll wait all night for you if that's what it takes," the pilot replied.

You stiffened, recognizing that voice. He was a notorious flirt and never knew when to take no for an answer. It wasn't your first time dealing with him and this moment would not be the last either. No matter how many times you shot him down he always kept coming back, always cocky and sure of himself.

A few moments ago...

Hangman didn't know the definition of the word defeat and he had his eye on the prize. And that was taking out the most difficult female bartender in the Hard Deck's lineup.

"Dude," Coyote tugged on Hangman's arm stopping the pilot in his tracks. "When are you going to give up? She's shot down more pilots than Maverick has and Rooster crashed and burned just last night with her."

"That's Rooster," Hangman scoffed. "I'm different."

"No you're not. What is this the third time you've tried?"

"Fourth."

Coyote rolled his eyes but watched Hangman walk away.

Now....

"Oh great," you sighed, "it's you again."

Hangman chuckled leaning against the counter, trying to get as close as possible. You took a step back, removing the last bottle cap a little violently and passing the drinks out. Grabbing more you glared at him sending a cap flying in his direction.

"Aren't you glad to see me," Hangman asked.

"Not particularly. I don't have time for you."

"And here I thought that the whole world had time for me," he smirked.

Rolling your eyes you turned away, another group of people calling for your attention. But still though you had walked away, Hangman stayed. His eyes never leaving you, watching you closely. You tried ignoring him, but when that didn't work, you glared. That only made his grin widen and he gave you a little wave. You slammed glasses down a little harder than necessary as your patience was wearing thin.

"Why do we have to do this every time?"

"Because," Hangman purred, "I don't like taking no for an answer."

"I noticed."

Watching you intensely while you grabbed another bottle of beer, you removed the cap and took Hangman's hand. His fingers immediately curled around yours and you slapped them back open, causing him to jolt before you placed the cold glass bottle in his palm, then wrapped his fingers around it and waved your hand in a 'shoo' motion. Digging some money from your tip jar, you put the cash into the register, 'Shoo. It's on me. Have a nice life Bagman."

Hangman laughed, defeated once more but not done in the slightest as he made his way back to the pilots crowding into one corner of the bar. Laughing at him and pointing fingers in his direction. What they didn't know was he was wounded, but not crashing and burning just yet. He saw that glint in your eyes and he had to sink the hook in a little more and he would have you.

Hours later and Penny flipped the sign and locked the door. You were finishing cleaning up the last bit of the bar when a check was waved in front of your face.

"Thank you so much for coming in and helping out," she said taking a seat.

"No problem," you replied putting the check in your pocket.

"I see Hangman has taken quite a liking to you," she grinned mischeviously.

"Ugh," you rolled your eyes, "don't remind me."

"He's not a bad guy."

"Sure if you like egotistical pilot maniacs. He's very obnoxious."

"Isn't that what makes him charming?"

"Absolutely not!"

Penny laughed before taking the rag from your hands, "Go on and go home. It's getting late."

"Let me know whenever you need help again."

Penny waved and you made sure to lock the door behind you. She wasn't lying that it was getting late as the sun had long ago set and quiet had settled over the beach. It was always a little creepy, especially the walk to your car. Normally you weren't scared but it was just a little off putting when no one was around and anything could happen.

"Leaving already?"

A voice sounded close by your shoulder causing you to jump and spin around. Hangman started to laugh at your startled expression, causing you to start punching him in the shoulder.

"Don't do that to me!"

"I was hoping you'd jump into my arms instead, I wasn't taking into account that you're a fighter. Can you please stop hitting me now?"

"Depends," you were fuming, "are you ready to stop being a jerk?!"

"Not particularly."

"Then I'm not done beating you yet!"

He let you get in a few more whacks before grabbing your fist and keeping a firm grip on it. You sucked in a breath, gaze flickering from his face to your joined hands back again to his face. He never stopped smiling.

"C'mon let me walk you to your car," Hangman cut the silence. The tension eased from your body and you tried yanking your hand away, only for him to tighten his grip. You huffed but relented, though you did start to protest when he intertwined your fingers together.

You could admit to yourself, that you did feel better that you weren't walking alone in the dark. Hangman had been waiting, not wanting to give up just yet as he really did like you. He just enjoyed aggravating you because you were so easily riled up.

"If you felt uncomfortable walking alone you could have said something to me," he mumbled rubbing at his neck.

"I appreciate it," you looked away squeezing his hand. "Maybe you aren't that major of an egotistical jerk."

Hangman laughed, releasing your hand so you can grab your car keys. "That makes me feel better then."

You unlocked the door and he opened the driver side door before you could even reach for the handle. Ushering you in he closed the door, letting you get buckled before leaning against the door. You rolled the window down and he stuck his head in.

"Thank you," you picked at the threads on the steering wheel.

"You're welcome," he tapped his fingers against your arm. "Does this mean that I'm growing on you?"

"Possibly."

"Think you could stomach a date with me?"

"I'll think about it."

"A kiss for your knight in a pilot uniform," he pointed to his lips.

"Absolutely not," you laughed rolling the window up causing him to hurry up and yank his head out. You backed up leaving Hangman in the headlights as he waved at you. For such a smug Top Gun pilot he could actually be really sweet. He wouldn't give up and you could respect that so for the first time you broke down.

Quickly rolling the window back down as you drove away you yelled out the window.

"Hey Bagman! Pick me up here tomorrow evening and buy me dinner!"

He laughed loudly, "It's a date!"

"Sure it is!"

You drove off, leaving an extremely happy pilot behind.

[upsidedownsmore]

Hollowframe 57 + Umbra, my submission for the TennoCon 2024 Community Showcase!

Sorry that it took this long to post! This update is special for many reasons, and I'll go through them all here!

First up, Dante AND Jade!

This is the first time I've added two frames to the project at once, rushing to get both finished in time for Tennocon. In order to do so I had to skip making backgrounds for them, however I still plan on making them as soon as I'm able!

You can find more details about the delay and my change of plans regarding their solo compositions in the thread here

In addition to the two new frames, I also took the liberty to rework and tweak a bunch of the older designs that I felt weren't fitting the goal of the project well enough. It was nice drawing simpler designs again! (old on left, new on right)

Here's a timelapse of the changes made to the poster! Tumblr can only have one video per post, so you can find a twitter reply with videos for Dante and Jade here!

Now to get sappy, cause this poster had two journeys through Tennocon! The first being that it got accepted into the community showcase, so here's pics of that! What an absolute honor omg

The second journey was my own personal print, which got signed by so many amazing and lovely people from DE!! I'm SO glad I got the poster printed for myself from Mercury Blueprinting the day of TennoVIP oh my lorrrrd

I might as well add that you can also find all this in my new ArtStation portfolio! Link to it here:

Aaand if you want to check out the Hollowframe Google Drive folder for free or more, it's now available on my new Ko-fi! Link to it here:

Previous Hollowframe update:

I think that's it! There's no way I would have ever guessed how far this project would go when I started it 3 years ago. Thank you guys so much for the support throughout the years, just absolute insanity and i'm losing my ability to word good i still cant get over iiiiiiiiiiiit

[rambling-at-midnight]

omg a part 2????

i loved it so much!!!

Ahh I'm so glad you liked it!!! It's my first Jason x reader fic :) Here's a part 2!

Pros and Cons of Midnight Snacks (Part 2)

Pairing: Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Civilian!Reader

Summary: Now it’s time for a meet-ugly-ish with some dude named Jason. Also, you see the Red Hood again.

Word count: 6.3k (holy shit)

You’re not crazy, right? It’s weird that the library is completely empty because it closes in two hours and the weather is actually nice outside for once, and some random dude wanders in and sets up two seats down from you. He’s not even here to study; he pulled out a sci-fi novel as soon as he sat down.

Who comes to a GCU campus library to read recreationally? The seats are uncomfortable and plastic. And the sun is shining. Everyone else is outside soaking up the Vitamin D.

Honestly, you’re mostly surprised the chair he’s on didn’t snap as soon as he sat. The dude is huge. Football player huge. Shouldn’t he be at practice, instead of forcing the chair to make the most irritating squeaking noises known to man every time he moves an inch?

You grit your teeth and put on your headphones, but you can still hear the poor chair’s dying lamentations, so you turn on an instrumental playlist that hopefully won’t distract you too much from studying.

You let yourself stew over the annoyance until your stomach growls so loud you hear it over the soft music. He has the good grace not to look at you, but you definitely see him pause.

Okay, you’ll call it even. This is what you get for running to the library right after six hours of classes. You need to cement the knowledge in your mind while it’s still fresh, and if that means you have to forego lunch…

He’s still there two hours later when the closing time alarm goes off. It’s a shrill old-school bell, the kind no one can ignore, and he jumps like he’s never heard it in his life. The poor chair finally gives up. He tumbles to the ground.

You look over in case he needs any help, but he’s scrambling for the book, face bright red.

If he is a football player, you wouldn’t be surprised that he’s never heard the bell before. That sort rarely stays this late at the library—if they enter at all.

He rushes out. You pack up a little more methodically. All that’s left for you to look forward to tonight is trying to study in your apartment, but you never have much luck.

He’s outside the library on his phone when you walk out. Maybe waiting for a ride? You’re a little on edge from the events of two days ago, so you watch him out of the corner of your eye as you walk away.

Thankfully, he doesn’t follow you.

At least the library closes earlier on Wednesdays, 6 pm instead of 9:30. You don’t know why. It’s still a weekday. But it forces you out while the sun’s still shining, which is probably a good thing.

Within two minutes of the twenty-minute walk home, your hip hurts. By the ten-minute mark, you’re trying not to limp.

Despite your better judgment, you keep your gaze turned to the rooftops, even though you know the vigilantes are nocturnal. It’s stupid to want to see a flash of red helmet, anyway. The Red Hood probably saves hundreds of people every week; there’s no way he would remember you.

Of course, when you finally get back, there are the stairs to contend with.

Your cat, that ungrateful little beast, beeps at you furiously for being gone so long. Never mind that your roommate works nights, so at most the cat’s been alone for an hour. He makes a break for the hallway, and you box the doorway with your legs and slam the door closed against your hip as you slip through.

Your injury explodes with pain, but at least the cat doesn’t get out. Ungrateful little beast. As if he isn’t fed and loved enough.

You finish slipping through the doorway and just stand for a moment listening to the blood rushing through your ears. Damn, but that hurt.

In the bathroom mirror, you hike up the hem of your shirt and check the state of your injury.

All in all, it could have been much worse. The bullet scooped out a fair chunk of skin, but it was just a surface wound. There’s no fresh blood on the gauze, and when you change the wrappings, the skin is pink and raw but starting to scab. It scooped out a chunk and left a trail of bruising, but you got off fairly lightly, all things considered.

The GCPD released the robber’s mugshot yesterday morning. In the picture, the man’s eyes were so swollen from your pepper spray he could hardly open them.

You preferred the bullet, honestly.

You try in vain to study a bit more, but even after you take more painkillers, you’re not in the mood. You feed your cat, then curl up on the couch to watch a couple episodes of the show you’re currently in the middle of.

That was the first time you see the huge guy, but it’s certainly not the last.

You wouldn’t notice him so much if he wasn’t the size of a damn refrigerator. He’s gotta be a linebacker for the Knights, but he’s not on their roster. You looked it up after the third time he wandered into the library just a couple minutes after you. It’s probably not updated yet, but you see him so often, you’d like to know his name.

Also, he’d bleached a patch of hair right at the front of his head—was that a trend now, or something?—so it wasn’t hard to spot him.

On Saturday, your feelings shift from mild annoyance and curiosity to a sinking sort of dread when you notice him at the coffeeshop you always visit on the weekends. The employees know you by name and use it to call out your order, so now he knows it, as long as he’s paying attention.

You think he might be.

You don’t want to be that person. Not everything in the world revolves around you, obviously. But you might still be shaken from what happened on Monday, because the thought wiggles in the back of your brain: what if you have a stalker?

You try to tell yourself that it’s just paranoia. GCU isn’t that big a campus, after all, and there are only so many places in the city that are: A. close to campus, B. reasonably priced, and C. comfortable to work in. You’ve run into classmates here before, and you don’t have a monopoly on the library or this coffeeshop. Just because he shows up at the same time you do doesn’t necessarily mean anything. He might be establishing a schedule that just so happens to line up with yours.

But, you have to admit, it is easier for stalkers to stalk people when they know their regular schedule.

You keep a watchful eye out and are pretty good about keeping off the streets after dark, but a week and a half later finds you stranded an hour’s walk from your apartment. The buses worked for two days, then shut down again, and you foolishly believed that following the detour that said would get you home would actually get you home. You don’t want to call an Uber because traffic would make the ride longer than the walk and bankrupt you in the process. Same reason you can’t call anyone to pick you up unless you waited the two hours until rush hour dies down.

Walking is, unfortunately, the best option.

So you clutch your trusty pepper spray and prepare yourself for a long night of looking over your shoulder and ignoring the pain in your side. The wound has mostly closed, although the bruising has gotten worse.

Three minutes later, you hear the roar of a motorcycle followed by angry car honks. You barely pay it any mind until the motorcycle pulls up next to you and doesn't pass.

You keep walking, avoiding eye contact. Maybe ignoring them will dissuade the rider from catcalling you.

It doesn't work. "Hey," the rider says, and it's only because the voice is mechanically distorted, recognizable only because of how many videos of him that you won't admit to looking up the last week, that you look at him. "What are you doing?" asks the Red Hood.

"What are you doing?" you counter. He's blocking the flow of traffic talking to you.

The Red Hood looks over his shoulder, flips off the person honking behind him, and steers his motorcycle onto the sidewalk. He drives fast, and you flinch in case he tries to run you over, but he screeches to a halt at the last second.

"Haven't seen you in a couple of weeks," he says casually, like you two meet up often.

"I've been staying out of trouble," you say.

"Not tonight?"

"No. That wasn't my fault, though. I took the Southwest bus because it was supposed to connect with the L line, but all the signs they posted were a lie, apparently, because—" You cut yourself off. "Never mind, I'm sure you don't care. Point is, I'm walking home. It's not too far."

"It's about an hour," he points out. "How's your bullet wound? Will it object to that walk?"

"I'll be fine."

He pats the back of his motorcycle seat. "Hop on. I'll drive you."

You take a couple hasty steps back. It may not be a white van, but you know better than to follow candy into someone's vehicle. "Oh, no, thanks. Traffic's pretty bad right now."

You get the sense he's smiling when he says, "I bet I can get you back faster than walking." If only he wasn't wearing the stupid shiny helmet, you would be able to read his expressions better.

"Really, I'm okay. I'm sure you have better things to do than drive me home."

"Helping people is literally my job," is his response. "I have to make sure you get home safely. So either you get on the back of my bike, or I follow you the whole walk back to your apartment."

You know a losing battle when you see it. As a general rule of thumb, it's usually smart not to argue with the dude carrying at least two guns. "Don't kidnap me," you order before slinging your leg over the seat.

He chuckles. It's the first time you've ever heard him laugh, and it makes him sound so much younger. "You can't ride like that."

"Like what?"

He cranes his neck to look back at you. There's at least six inches between both your bodies. You clutch the sides of the seat with both your hands, hoping he doesn't take off with such a lurch that you topple off the back. "I drive fast. You'll have to hold on."

"I am holding on."

"To me."

You've only met the man twice. You're pretty sure clinging to someone's back is at least a third-meeting type of touch, but he reaches back. The Red Hood snakes a hand nearly twice the size of yours into the crook of your knee, then yanks you to him. You shoot forward with a strangled yelp and catch yourself on his back.

You've never before understood the phrase 'wall of muscle,' but you get it now.

He is huge. And strong. You gingerly put your hands on his shoulders. That's not an inappropriate touch, you think.

He has to live at the gym, right?

"You're still not holding on," he chides. "I don't have a helmet for you, so you really shouldn't fall off."

You swallow and move your hands, but he's too thick for you to link your hands around his front. So you fist both of them into his jacket. It presses your bodies tight against each other from shoulder to thighs. Through the layers his body radiates heat, but you shiver.

"Going," is all the warning you get.

Then you're gone; the bike shudders beneath you, then takes off like a jet.

You can't catch your breath. This must be what riding a dragon feels like, is your first nonsensical thought, a side effect of your roommate's obsession with Game of Thrones.

The bike roars beneath you, but you can hardly hear it over the rush of wind and the pound of blood in your ears. You can't see much with the wind drying out your eyes, so you press your head against the Red Hood's back and squint to one side. Cars and street lamps blur together into a stream of mismatched lights and colors.

The Red Hood drives fast. He weaves between lanes, runs through red lights, cuts onto the sidewalk. A couple bikers shake their fists at him when he passes them in the bike lane. A lot of cars honk at the two of you.

Judging by the way his shoulders shake with laughter, he likes pissing them off. You have to admit, the feeling is a little intoxicating.

You can't hear the sound, but your front is plastered to his back. Even with the layers of his suit and leather jacket, you can feel the vibrations of sound deep within his chest. He has a fairly deep voice, after all, unless the helmet changes that.

No less than ten minutes later, he parks abruptly. You lift your head, blinking moisture back into your eyes, and stare dumbly at your apartment building.

He'd actually brought you back.

Maybe he really was reformed.

You stumble off the bike onto unsteady legs. The Red Hood kicks his stand into place and rests against the bike, leaning with elbows on his handlebars. Like he expects a Midwest goodbye. And you find yourself dawdling.

Maybe you want one, too.

"Thanks for the ride," you finally say awkwardly.

"Anytime," he says, and you laugh, thinking it's a joke, but he doesn't. After a brief awkward pause, the Red Hood tries, "So how have you been?" as if you're old pals meeting up for brunch, and the question is so ridiculous coming from a sort-of-reformed crime lord slash serial killer that you respond without thinking.

"Pretty good, except I think I may have a stalker."

His helmet doesn't do a great job translating whatever sound he makes in response to that. It comes out as a crackle. "What?"

"I've noticed this dude recently showing up wherever I go," you say. "But I think it's just a coincidence. Sorry. That was a bad joke." It wasn't, but you don't want to accuse someone without proof of stalking you. If he's not, you'll seem self-obsessed. If he is, then he knows that you know, and it's not like the GCPD will do anything. One of your friends from your hometown had a stalker for literal years, and the police never did anything, even after he sent her death threats. They said there wasn't enough proof to make an arrest then, so someone showing up at the same places you are definitely isn't enough proof now.

The Red Hood tilts his head. "Does he make you uncomfortable?"

"You don't need to beat him up or anything on my behalf," you say. "I mean, you've seen me with a bottle of pepper spray. I'm pretty sure I can handle myself."

"I know you can," he says. You can hear the smile in his voice, like he finds something about the situation funny. "And I'm pretty sure that you know that I'm going to check this out anyway."

"No," you say, surprising yourself with your firmness. You can't rely on vigilantes to solve all your problems for you. "Seriously, it's okay. Thanks for the ride. Maybe I'll see you around."

"I'm counting on it," he calls as you walk away.

And he's right. Two days later finds you at the gas station at ten-thirty at night. You don't want to see him, per se. You're definitely not looking over your shoulder at the slightest sound. You definitely didn't check the parking lot for a notorious red motorcycle on your way in, and you certainly aren't taking peeks out the window every time headlights pass by on the street.

You're just... curious.

Maybe.

But you have absolutely no warning, not even a suspicion that someone is behind you, when you reach for a box of Cheez-Its. Someone else's hand gets there first and you nearly jump out of your socks.

"Hey," the Red Hood wheezes. He's clutching his side like he has a cramp. "Question: if I buy these for you, will you patch me up?"

"What?"

"I may have been cut," he admits. Judging by the angle of his hunch, it's a little more serious than just a 'cut'. "So: do we have a deal?"

The thought occurs to you, as you help him up five flights of stairs to your apartment, that you're escorting a strange man into your place of residence. You haven't even given your roommate a heads-up, though you're pretty sure tomorrow's his night off.

Sure enough, the only person there to greet you when you walk in is your cat. As per usual, he tries to escape. The Red Hood gently but firmly ushers him inside with his foot with such ease he must have one of his own. "It's cute," he says, still clutching his side.

"Thanks," you say. "He always tries to get out, but if he actually escapes then he just freezes in the hallway until I bring him back inside." Then you realize that you're discussing your cat, of all things, with the Red Hood. You clear your throat and say, "Let me take a look at you."

The crime lord and cat trail after you into the bathroom. It gets a little cramped because the Red Hood's about as small as a fridge is small, but you two figure out a passable system: he's too tall, even while sitting down, and you don't want to bend in half while you stitch him. So you sit on the toilet, he stands in front of you, and your cat jumps on top of his leather jacket on the counter to observe and judge. Luckily, the suture kit is still in the bathroom from when you thought you would have to stitch yourself up, so it's not long before you're instructing him to lift up the hem of his shirt so you can see the damage.

You hiss between your teeth at the sight. Someone grazed his side with a knife, by the looks of it, but the wound is deep. It might go all the way to his subcutaneous tissue.

After you clean it off, you're sure that it does. "You call this a cut?"

"I've had worse," he says gruffly.

"And you're still alive?" You squint at him.

He huffs like that's funny.

"They basically cut you in two! I don't know if I can fix this. I've never stitched someone up before!"

"What do you mean?" He tilts his head. "You stitched yourself up, remember? You told me you would."

Shit. Of all the ways to stick your foot in your mouth—

"It wasn't that bad," you say weakly.

“It looked pretty bad.”

“It just looked bad because I was wearing a light colored shirt. Don’t worry; I’ve learned my lesson.”

The Red Hood scratches under your cat’s chin. “About wearing light colored clothing, or about getting shot?”

You’re trying to thread the suture needle, but the stupid thread won’t cooperate. “Hmm?”

“Which lesson did you learn?”

“The former, mostly. Believe it or not, ‘try not to get shot’ is something most people, including me, know intuitively.”

"Let me see."

"Yeah, right," you say, "my apartment's basically a strip club, isn't it? First your shirt's coming up, then mine. Absolutely—" You slap his hand away— "Not. I'm fine. Now hold still while I stab you."

The process goes by quickly. He stands like a statue the whole time, like he's used to the pain of getting stitches. Considering his profession, he probably is.

Actually, you can see a couple healed-over scars on his torso just from the small bit of skin he's revealed by pulling up his shirt. And, you're pretty sure, a perfectly defined six-pack, but that's none of your business.

"I don't have the fancy dissolving sutures, unfortunately," you say while you tie off the thread. "These should come out in about a week."

"Yeah, I know," he grunts, letting his shirt fall back down. And you're not disappointed. At all. "Same time next week, then?"

"What?"

"To get them out."

"Uh." Your brain stalls out. You'd been operating under the assumption that this was just another freak coincidental run-in.

Is it just you, or is the Red Hood looking to make a friend out of you? Or maybe just a free pseudo-surgeon?

"Sure," you say. It's not like you can stop him, really.

"Thanks," he says, stroking your cat one more time. Then he nudges the pest off his jacket and shrugs it on, even though there's not really a need for it. The weather's been pretty mild the last week.

You walk him out the door. He pauses in the hallway, turns, and says, "By the way, what's your name?"

You tilt your head and tell it to him.

"Nice to meet you," he says. Then he walks away.

You watch him walk down the hallway until your cat escapes, and then you have to chase him. You're pretty sure the Red Hood sees it, because low-pitched laughter hits your ears as you gather the little bastard up, but when you look, the vigilante's gone.

"God, I hope he's up to date on his tetanus shot."

You find yourself at the coffee shop the next morning, determined not to let a buff bookworm change your routine. You're the first customer, and they have your order ready by the time you finish setting up your stuff on a small table in the corner of the shop, far from where the line will build up when more people trickle in.

Like clockwork, the bookworm wanders in just a couple minutes after you do, orders two coffees, and settles down across the room with his front to you.

Every time you glance up, he's utterly focused on his book. He's probably not watching you. Right?

Fifteen minutes later, the coffees untouched, he stands up. You watch out of the corner of your eye as he picks one up, approaches the counter, and...

Walks right past it.

Walks in your direction.

You stare blatantly, and he holds your gaze with a set jaw and something a little challenging in his gaze.

He's walking to you.

The coffee cup slams on the table, splashing a little over the edge, and you jump to move your laptop away from the liquid.

"Shit, sorry," the bookworm says. He runs away.

You stare until you realize he's grabbing napkins and hurrying back. At least ten, even though the spill's pretty small, and he piles them all onto the table.

His face gets redder the longer you watch without saying anything.

Once he's absolutely sure your laptop is safe from the couple drops he spilled, he balls them all into one large fist and rushes out, "I'm sorry—I was supposed to meet my brother here, but he canceled, and your drink cup's empty, so I was just wondering if you wanted this one? It's a little warm, but..."

"But free is good," you say, deciding to put him out his misery. And he certainly looks miserable rambling in front of you. Like he's mortified for some reason. "Um, thanks. What..."

"Just an iced coffee. Probably watered down."

You take a sip, just to be polite. It is watered down, but he didn't add any milk to it, so that's probably a good thing. "Thanks..." You tilt the cup to look at the name written on the side. "Jason?"

"Yep." He nods. He's still standing in front of you, like he wants to be invited to sit, but you have a lot of work to do, and he's a complete stranger, and all his stuff is still on his table across the room.

Something clatters behind the counter. You both turn in time to see the two baristas duck out of sight, whispering furiously. Probably about the spectacle you two are making.

"You go to GCU's campus library a lot, right?" Jason asks suddenly.

"Yeah, I do. So do you." You don't phrase it like a question.

"Yeah," he says. "It's peaceful to read in there. Quieter than my apartment."

"Okay," you say slowly. You're really not interested in this conversation, but you don't want to be rude.

He must understand you, though, because he rubs the back of his head and steps backwards, mumbling something about getting back to his book.

Jason's brother never does end up meeting him. You tell yourself that's why you keep glancing at him. Once or twice, you two peek at each other at the same time, and you always look away first, face hot like he's caught you doing something wrong.

The next time you go to the library, it's packed. The weather has turned, so students have nothing better to do than prepare for their finals. You head to the quiet floor, slowly losing hope that you'll find a seat.

A head snaps up the moment you walk in, dark-haired with a striking streak of white at his forehead. Jason.

Something like relief passes over his face, and he waves you over.

"I saved your seat," he whispers, dragging his bag off of the chair.

"Thanks," you say, actually touched. "You didn't have to."

He shrugs. "You're my reading buddy."

The next day, he's sitting at the library's entrance when you walk in. Jason shakes his head. "All the seats were already taken when I got here."

"Ugh." Strictly speaking, you don't need to study tonight. You're pretty confident about the next test's material, and you're also pretty burnt out.

"We could check out the Student Center?" he suggests. As if it's a given that the two of you are going to spend the afternoon together. And, you realize, after two straight weeks of studying in his proximity, you don't mind the presumption. That's how you made your closest friend in undergrad, anyway.

In fact, you think you might want to get to know Jason. Maybe ask about his white streak; you've been growing more and more curious about it. And why he's about seven feet tall and two hundred fifty pounds of muscle but has a passion for romance novels.

"I don't think I've studied in there before."

"It's not too bad, but it's a little louder than the library."

So you two head to the Student Center, but he doesn't open his book, and you open your laptop but don't turn it on. He buys you coffee, though you insist that you can pay for it yourself, and a simple query into what book he's reading currently turns into a two-hour conversation.

Jason likes to read every genre, but he likes classics and romance best. He doesn't just have one brother, he has four, and a sister. He's not on the football team like you'd assumed; he just likes to work out. He's finishing up his sophomore year of undergrad studying English Lit—he sees how your smile freezes at those words, and you're asking how old he is, and he's laughing when he tells you he took a couple gap years. He's your age, actually, and that's relieving for reasons you can't quite put to words.

When you check your watch and curse at the time—it's almost time for your cat's dinner—he asks for your number, and you put it into his phone.

You feel good on your walk home. You haven't made a new friend since the first semester of vet school; the course load is too demanding for you to participate in any GCU clubs. Your roommate asks why you're smiling and you wave him off. Of course, your cat doesn't care that you're in a good mood. He only cares about getting fed.

You see Jason a couple more times over the week, and soon you're too embarrassed to admit that you thought he was stalking you. He's almost as bad a texter as you are, responding at such hours you're half-convinced he doesn't sleep, so you're less self-conscious about taking hours to respond.

You've just gotten around to answering his last text when something knocks against your window.

You drop the phone on your face.

The Red Hood is laughing at you when you open the window to let him in. You'd forgotten he was coming, but you don't say so. He tumbles in, moving a little stiffly, but a lot better than he'd been last week. Your cat, the little traitor, runs to greet him and rubs against his ankles, purring like an engine. The Red Hood bends to pet him. "Hey, kitty." The red helmet tips up and those unnerving white lenses fix on you. "Hey, doc. Here to get my stitches out."

"How have you been feeling?" you ask.

"Good," he says, almost defensively.

It makes you suspect that something is wrong, but when you all pile into the bathroom again like it's a clown car and he pulls up his shirt, the wound is healing nicely. No pink or heat that signals infection, no puffy skin. You remove the stitches quickly, and again he hesitates, like he wants to stay longer.

You find yourself thinking about Jason. You're pretty sure you wish he was here.

"Well, thanks."

"Anytime."

He pauses. "Really?"

You shrug. "I mean, not if you need a hospital. Then I'd expect you to head straight to a hospital. But stuff like this—no worse than this, ideally—I guess I can help you with."

"You're pretty cool for a vet," the Red Hood says. "The last one I visited kept freaking out on me for stealing codeine."

"Well, that's a restricted—wait, you were stealing codeine? What for?"

He shrugs.

"What were you using it for," you repeat sternly.

"Okay!" he says loudly. "Well, thanks for patching me up, doc. I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Wait," you call out uselessly, but he vaults out the window. You gasp and rush to the sill, but there's no Red Hood-shaped puddle on the ground. Instead, his rapidly shrinking form disappears in the distance, swinging between the buildings that make up the Gotham skyline.

You don't see the Red Hood for a while after that, but you hear whispers of him wearing a new costume. You get caught up with finals and Jason, who asks you out after the semester ends.

Your vehement 'yes' takes you by surprise. Him, too, judging by his wide eyes and wider smile. You wonder why he asked if he thought you would say no. You wonder why you didn't realize earlier how desperately you wanted him to.

Now that you're out of school, you pick up shifts at the vet clinic. By some unhappy circumstance, they can only schedule you for the evening shifts. Jason works nights, too, and you've never fully squirreled out where he works, but at least you can spend some days together.

It's when you're walking back from your first shift that you see the Red Hood again after almost three weeks of radio silence. He pulls up next to you on the motorcycle. It's so late that there's no one on the road, so he stays on the asphalt and idles along at your walking pace until you break and say, "Long time no see, Hood."

"Did you miss me?" he teases.

You stop walking, because.

Most of his costume changed. Because it's summer, and even the nights are hot and muggy, you assume.

The pants are the same. So are the boots. But his jacket is red and sleeveless and has a hood that goes down to his eyebrows, the armor beneath short-sleeved, which means most of his arms are bare.

And...

Your mouth is dry. You swallow.

You're pretty sure not even Batman is that ripped. He looks like he's chiseled out of marble.

The longer you're speechless, the more amused he gets. You don't know how you know that, but something about his posture seems smug.

"You're taking 'red hood' seriously now, are you?" is all you manage to say. Because what else are you supposed to comment on? His bare forearms? His veins are so beautifully pronounced, they would be a dream to take blood from, but you have a boyfriend of a whole one and a half weeks, and you may be many things, but you're not a cheater.

He laughs, then pulls his hood low when it slips back a bit. His voice is still modulated, although it's not through a red helmet anymore. This is more like a muzzle. You can't tell if the eye covering is part of it, or like the domino masks that Batman and Robin wear, but the lenses are red now instead of white.

He's really leaning into the theme.

"You want a ride?"

"We're two blocks from my apartment."

He shrugs. "I'm heading there anyway."

What the hell. You've already hopped on the back of his bike before. It's easier to do so the second time. You wrap your arms around his torso again, and when his arms settle over your own, they're warm with his body heat, but not hard, even though the muscles look sharp enough to cut glass. He's firm all over, but his skin is soft, apart from the raised, bumpy scars that seem to cover him from head-to-toe. It makes you worry about him, just a little.

He doesn't drive fast this time. He drives slow enough to hold a conversation and tosses over his shoulder, "So what's new with you?"

"Not much," you say into his ear. Is it just you, or does he shiver? "I finished another semester of vet school."

"Top grades, I'm sure. Did you get extra credit for patching me up?"

"I wish." No, your grades are good, but not exceptional. But exceptional is what got you into vet school. As long as you graduate with a DVM, even if you're the lowest in your class, you're a licensed doctor. There's some relief in that. "The dude I thought was stalking me asked me out, actually."

"Really?" he asks, interested and alert. "Was he really stalking you? Do you need me to scare him off for you?"

"No," you say, smiling at the thought of the Red Hood trying to scare off Jason. They're about the same build, now that you think about it, which you're sure the vigilante isn't used to. And Jason's never been anything but gentle and polite, but you saw an undercurrent of something strong, something like titanium, under that gentle spirit the one time he stood up for one of the baristas at the coffee shop that you first spoke to each other. He hadn't needed to do much apart from stand up and glare at the beleaguered corporate guy angry that there wasn't enough sugar in his coffee, and the dude shut up and scurried out as fast as he could.

It was probably the hottest thing you've ever seen him do, except for that one time you pushed your laptop a little too close to the edge of your desk while studying, it tipped over, and he caught it one-handed without looking up from his book. What can you say? Saving you a couple hundred dollars in getting that fixed was hot.

"It was a misunderstanding," you say. "We just ended up in the same places at the same times."

A gust of wind pushes back the Red Hood's hood, exposing a head of thick, dark hair, the same shade of black as Jason's. The motorcycle swerves in his haste to pull his hood back up, and when you reach your apartment and hop off the bike, he's pushing his hair back, back, beneath the hood.

What's the point of ditching the helmet if he's just going to be fussing with the hood all the time?

"What's new with you?" you ask, scuffing your toe against the sidewalk. Your shoes are falling apart; the sole is peeling away.

"Same old, same old," he says. His voice sounds rougher, but that might just be the new modulator.

"How's your side?"

"How's yours?" he counters. "You still haven't let me see it. I bet it scarred because you were too stubborn to take my advice and patch it up."

You will never admit that he's right. You challenge, "Let's compare scars, then," knowing full well his armor dips below his pants. It's a little silly to picture the Red Hood wearing an armored one-piece, but that's all you can imagine.

He clucks his tongue and shakes his head. It dislodges the hood. A patch of hair falls down to his forehead, and it's white.

But the back of his hair is black.

White and black—

Your stomach flips.

"I thought you had a boyfriend, honey. Why're you asking me to strip?"

So that's what all the teasing's been about. He hasn't been flirting—or he has, his own weird version of flirting, because he's a dumbass.

For a moment all you can hear is the rush of blood in your ears, then you flex your fingers to regain feeling in them. You roll your eyes and say, "I think we've established that my apartment is basically a strip club. Why don't you come up and show me, Jason?"

"Well, I'm flattered, but—what?" He splutters like he's choking on his own tongue. Serves him right. "I'm not—why do you think that—I mean, I could be anyone—"

Yeah, he can have his little crisis on the street. You tug on your own fringe, then swipe into the building.

You hear his muffled cursing as the door closes.

You look forward to him catching up.

(My requests are open, so let me know if you want me to write anything in particular! Also let me know if you want to be added to a taglist.)

Forever tag list:

@lemirabitur @annymcervantes @queenmissfit @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @iksey @thehyperactiveteen @luxmoonlight @andreasworlsboring101

[bunnyreaper]

𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖈𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 𝔞 𝔰𝔬𝔞𝔭 𝔪𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔵 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝖕𝖙 3 — 𝖕𝖙 2 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 wc - 7.2k warnings - 18+/nsfw, dom sub dynamic, hints of petplay, mild public play notes - part 3 kind of ran away from me, if you can't tell from the word count!! i had a lot of fun with this one, so i hope you enjoy! also on ao3! ♥

Life was teaching you early on in this budding relationship that life without Johnny drags. 

The first day or two he was gone wasn't so bad. Before he'd even left the country, he'd sent you an incredibly drool-worthy photo of him in his fatigues. You've spent more time looking at it over the past week or so than you probably should've—fixated on the size of his arms, the confident pose, and the mic set around his neck. 

The sight of that alone sent your thoughts reeling—and was the part you'd zoomed into on the most, beside Johnny's handsome face. 

Then came the voice note, the one you've been listening to on repeat—addicted to Johnny's words and voice. Finally, you have it captured to listen back to on demand. He'd sent you other voice notes since, shorter ones with "I'm thinking about you." or "Just met a street cat, his collar said his name is Halim!" with a photo accompanying it. 

Those made your heart sing, and your smile wide, but the last one he sent was him explaining he'd be going dark, and he'd message again whenever he could. 

That had been over a week ago now, and the radio silence left your nerves on edge, frayed and tested as you waited for any sign.

Some sense of salvation had come in the form of an after-work drinking session that turned into a full-blown night out—it was a welcome distraction and an oasis of general socialisation after your desert of solitude.

You were dressed up nice, getting a little tipsy and dancing the night away—only checking your phone as you pulled it out to pay for a drink. 

The missed call notification has you rushing to down the drink, so you can head out the back of the club. As soon as the pounding music fades away, you're pressing the phone to your ear and listening to the dial—it feeling tortuously slow as you wait for Johnny to pick up with every ring. Just before it goes to voicemail, his voice is blessing your ears once more. 

"Hey, pretty girl." He greets, his voice seemingly as bright as always. 

"Johnny!" You all but squeal in excitement, a heady combination of missing him and the effects of the alcohol making your enthusiasm bubble over.

He laughs, slow and sweet, as warmth spreads through your chest. "Missed me that much, aye?" 

You missed him far too much considering the current state of your relationship, but even in your intoxicated state, you know to keep that mostly to yourself. "Missed you so much!" You giggle, moving further away from the door as a group of people join you out back—cigarettes hanging from their fingers.

"Missed you too. Where are yer?" Johnny asks, clearly hearing the commotion in the background. 

"I'm out with some people from work, but I'll go home right now, I swear—" 

Johnny cuts you off before you can even finish your offer. "Don't you dare, lass, enjoy your night. I just wanted to let you know I'm back, tha's all."

Hearing from him was such a relief, and you are so glad he called—though now you don't want to stop talking again. "Does that mean we can meet soon?" You ask—voice light, flirtatious, and most importantly hopeful.

"I was thinking Sunday if that works for yer?" 

"Making me wait again, Sergeant?" You practically twirl your hair around your finger as you tease him, smiling unreservedly as you hold the phone to your ear. 

"Keep talking like tha' and I'll come down there right now." His growl is playful, but you can tell using his rank has some sort of effect on him. 

You pull your lip between your teeth, giggling once more and flushing with need. "Do it, I dare you." You taunt.

Johnny's sigh is a little defeated, his tone a little tired and flat compared to usual."I cannae, still got things to wrap up. Tha's why I said Sunday and not tomorrow, sweet thing." 

You relent with your joking, not wanting to keep up with teasing when Johnny seems a little... low. "You're worth the wait." You whisper into the phone, soft and sincere—you hope that makes him smile at least. 

"We'll sort out the details tomorrow, yeah?" 

You nod, even though he can't see it. "Sounds good." 

He perks up a little bit, even if it sounds somewhat forced. "Feel like doing me a favour before you get back to yer friends?"

"Anything." Your answer is instant, especially if it would cheer him up right now. Coming back from the things he must see has to be hard, and you can't blame him for continuing to be affected by it. Is that why he needed an extra day? To decompress and adjust back to being Johnny instead of a sergeant in the army? 

"Send me a picture of your outfit." The sentence lands somewhere between a question and a command—though you had every intention of complying anyway. 

"Yes sir." You answer instinctually, not putting too much thought into it until you hear Johnny's growl in response. The kind of growl that ignites something deep within you every time you hear it. 

His voice is low, rumbling down the phone with a hint of playful warning. "Bonnie..." 

"Sorry." You laugh lightly, before turning more sincere. "I'm glad you're safe, Johnny."

The line is silent for a moment, just long enough for you to worry you've said the wrong thing, but as always, Johnny washes away your doubt.  "I'm glad you waited for me." 

"Of course." A shiver passes over you, the night air making you want to retreat back inside. You wrap an arm around yourself as you brace yourself from the cold. "Talk tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, for definite. Have a nice night, angel." His wish is sincere, the softness in his voice something you'll replay over and over again. 

"Night, Johnny." 

You wait for him to end the call before you rush back into the club, beelining straight for the bathroom to snap a picture just for Johnny. The dress isn't your usual clubbing outfit, having come straight from work, but you look cute, and you feel confident as you send the picture straight to Johnny.

The next day drags even more than the last few have, especially with the mild hangover thundering your skull. Every part of the day is just about going through the motions, getting through it, so you're one minute closer to seeing Johnny. Every moment is a little dull, until you find yourself waiting for him at the exit of the train station.

The excitement and the nerves wage war inside you—with each passing second, you're getting closer and closer to being swept up in Johnny's arms, to hopefully feeling like you're finally home. But with each second, you're inching closer to vulnerability, to risk, to the possibility that somehow he might decide after today that he never wants to see you again. 

Maybe he'll look at you and realise he doesn't quite like your body, or the way your mouth moves when you talk. Maybe he'll hate your mannerisms, or find that in person you're actually really boring to talk to. Perhaps he'll just know within moments of meeting you that you'll never be his home, never be his.

The thought is terrifying, crawling around the back of your mind as you scan every passing face in the hopes of seeing the silly little mohawk you long to run your fingers through. 

And when you do, the world stills.

You spot him before he spots you, and you get a moment to appreciate his searching gaze, his quietly confident swagger, the way his denim jacket stretches over his shoulders, and his shirt clings to his stomach. 

In short, he's a vision. All man—big and strong and beautiful. It takes everything within you to not launch yourself into his arms as soon as he gets close. 

He continues to look around as he makes his way through the ticket barriers, glancing between the crowds and his phone as he makes his way closer and closer. You emerge from your hidden spot, your legs carrying you without hesitation over to him—and when your eyes meet, you both stop completely still for just a moment. Nothing but wide smiles on your faces and a magnetic pull that draws you together. 

The bodies in between you are a hindrance, a barrier you both need to be gone as you weave through them before finally standing before each other—and at that moment everything feels right. 

"Wow." Johnny says as he looks you up and down and drinks all of you in.

"Wow yourself." You giggle, checking him out just the same and adjusting to just how much more handsome he is in person—as if such a thing were possible. "Hi Johnny." Even you are surprised by how breathless you sound, but it makes perfect sense when you consider how fast your heart is beating, how your hands are starting to shake. 

"Think I must be dreamin'" He blinks in disbelief, unable to keep the radiant, infectious smile off of his face. 

You blush deeply, and find you can no longer meet the intensity of his eyes. "Flatterer." Your word is a whisper as you push yourself to your tip toes and wrap your arms around Johnny's neck, pulling him in for a hug.

His strong arms wrap around your waist, holding you close, tightly enveloping you in a serene feeling of safety, as well as his fresh, masculine scent. 

Home. You think it's the closest you ever felt to it, bundled up in his arms as he cradles you like you're the most precious thing on earth to him. 

His hands roam over your back, caressing you so delicately and savouring every bit of you, as your own hands thread around the back of his neck, and you sink your fingers in, grasping him to ground yourself in the moment. It's real, he's real, and being in his arms feels so right it almost hurts. 

"You're even more gorgeous in person, bonnie." He whispers in your ear, breath hot and sending shivers all over your body. Thank god he's holding you upright, as your entire being is so vulnerable right now to every sensation. 

He pulls away slightly, but keeps you close, his eyes returning to yours once more, looking at you like you're everything. 

"I could say the same about you." You giggle, feeling self-conscious beyond belief. "Your eyes..." They're so blue, two oceanic pools of deep emotion, pulling you under the longer you stare. 

Everything you feel is reflected in his eyes—hope, bliss, excitement. 

"Grew them maself." He laughs, his nose wrinkling as he laughs at his own silly joke. 

He has you captivated entirely, as you drink in every single feature on his face—the strong brows, the scar on his lips, the dimples hidden behind his stubble. Every detail makes your heart thump against your rib cage, makes you want to reach out and trace your fingers over every little thing you discover. 

You're snapped out of your reverie when someone's bag brushes past you, and you remember you're in the middle of a train station, blocking people's way. 

"We should move out of the way." 

"Aye." He nods, slipping an arm around you so as to not lose contact as the two of you shuffle out of the path of the commuters. "Fuck. Am not letting you go now." 

His grip tightens around you as he pulls you in once more, hands settling on your waist as he stares down in adoration.

"Good." You can't help the smile on your face, so big and bright your cheeks hurt from how unwavering it is—that's just the feeling Johnny inspires. 

This time, it's him who seems affected by your gaze, as he averts his eyes from yours. "'s a bit weird, though." He admits, a strange shyness to his tone. 

Nothing about Johnny right now would suggest he's anything even close to nervous or uncomfortable, but you figure a man like him is very good at masking how he really feels. Your hands slip to his chest, your thumbs rubbing soothingly back and forth as you try to project a sense of calm to soothe you both. 

"Have you never done this before?" You ask, curiosity brimming but with no underlying judgement.

"No." His cheeks begin to redden as he glances at you briefly, a rare display of shyness from the seemingly endlessly confident man. "Don't laugh, it's ma first time." 

You continue your soothing gesture as you speak from the heart. 

"I wouldn't laugh! I have done this before, and I'm still so fucking nervous." Said nervousness escapes you in the form of a clipped laugh. "... If it wasn't obvious from the blushing and shaking." 

Johnny made you nervous, and yet peaceful all at the same time. His pull was irresistible, concrete, even if you stumbled to him on shaky legs. You knew what he might be feeling right now, if his heart was anything like yours. 

"Oh, am sweatin' a tonne right now, if ya cannae tell." His laugh and smile are almost disgustingly sweet, along with his unbracing honesty. Johnny really is something else, you think. 

You step away from him, intertwining your fingers into his much larger hand, as you start to lead the way out of the train station. "Better get you out into the fresh air then." 

The two of you walk in comfortable silence across the short distance until you're hit with the sun's warmth and a blast of cooler air. You start walking into the city centre, aiming to wander around for a little to kill time.  

As you walk, Johnny's grip tightens, and his hips sway playfully into your own, nudging you only to pull you back to his side with a bright grin on his face. "Meant what I said about not letting go of yer hand." 

"Keep it, it's yours." You squeeze back, looking up at Johnny to see him observing his surroundings keenly—must be a soldier thing, you muse. "Do you come here much?" 

"A little. Usually kept pretty busy back on base." He answers, glancing at you before taking in more of the area.

"Well, I guess you'll be getting familiar." You nudge his hips, returning his earlier playfulness as you flirt with him unashamedly.

His eyes are fixed on you now—a brow raised and a mirthful smile on his face at your assumption.

"Oh, will a now?" 

"I hope so." You admit sincerely, feeling the heat in your cheeks. If you keep smiling as much as you have so far, the expression will be permanently etched onto your face. "But that'll be more, so after we see the kitties. Our slots in 20 minutes, right?" 

"Aye, you excited?" He looks at you as if to confirm your true reaction, his eyes searching. 

"I am, honestly I was expecting just a normal coffee date but as soon as you suggested it, I couldn't let it go." You're practically rambling, but honestly, Johnny's suggestion was perfect. First, it let you know he enjoyed, or at least was at ease around cats, which was always a green flag. Plus, it was something different, catered to the two of you that shows he'd been thinking about it, and who wouldn't swoon at that? 

And on the off chance there was an awkward silence where you didn't know what to do, at least you had furry friends for you both to pay attention to. 

His eyes flicker with doubt for a moment, before he masks it with a distracting smile. "Was worried it might be a bit naff." 

If only he knew how much you had been freaking out about how cute you found the whole thing—and the fact that he might as well have just straight up said it was the beginning of your new dynamic together. You'd be his pet, the whole thing made perfect sense. "If it is naff, it'll only be because I might get jealous." 

"Ach, why?" He asks, seemingly finding the idea of you needing to ever feel such a thing ridiculous. 

You look up at him with soft, pleading eyes and a playful pout on your lips. "Well, you'll be giving all the cats head pats, but will you have any for me?" Even the tone of your voice is designed to tug at his heartstrings, slipping into your role so naturally. 

"I'll always have some for you, kitty." He laughs, letting go of your hand just to ruffle at your hair until you playfully shove him away—then he's grasping at you again, not wanting to relinquish contact for even a second. 

"Besides, they get to wear collars and flaunt it right in front of me. Don't they know what they're doing?" A suggestive smirk is directed at him, which he eagerly returns.

"Oh, you'll be in one before you know it, bonnie." He drops this news so casually, like it's the most natural thing in the world— as if the two of you are just having a regular conversation  "We'll come again, make them jealous right back." 

You swallow thickly, already aching for that eventuality—even if it may be a ways away.

"Sounds like a date." You mumble, filled with shyness and need. Coughing, you take a moment to compose yourself and steer the conversation away from something that will send your thoughts spiraling. "I did look through the website to see what kind of cats they had, and there's a cat with your name, different spelling though." 

Johnny pulls you closer, head dipping slightly to talk close to your ear, his tone dropping to a dangerous low. "Now I'm gonnae be the jealous one." 

His words make you shiver, make it difficult to keep walking like everything is fine—but you can flirt just like he can. You look up at him, fluttering your eyelashes prettily as you smile so sweetly. "I've only got eyes for one Johnny, don't worry." 

The blush that rises to his cheeks tells you that your act had the desired effect.

"That's what I like tae hear." He mumbles, squeezing your hand in an affectionate gesture. 

After wandering the high street for a short while and just enjoying each other's company, you circle back to your destination. The two of you enter the café, kick off your shoes (or boots for Johnny), and are seated at a table toward the back of the room— just a little out of sight from everyone else. You order a tea, while Johnny orders a flavoured coffee, giving you an insight into his tastes and preferences that makes you smile. 

You remind yourself to keep that information in mind for later, filing it away under your list of things about Johnny that you're sure will only expand throughout the day. 

When the server leaves the table, the two of you look upon each other fondly—shy smiles and burning cheeks. There are so many words at the tip of your tongue, so many things you want to say and ask and know about the man before you—as your brain buzzes with energy, so do your hands, feeling a little lost now they're no longer connected to any part of his body. 

It's easy to tell that Johnny sees more than he lets on, as he observes you before him and seemingly filters through your thoughts.

You return the favour and watch Johnny intently—eyes fixated as his tongue darts out to wet his lips, as his throat bobs as he swallows, and your brain is invaded with a deluge of inappropriate thoughts. 

Luckily, you're saved by the bell—a little tinkling noise from a cat beside you as it walks on by and demands your attention with a haughty meow.

"Look, there's Jonny!" You gasp quietly, the cat just a few feet away staring at you curiously. Taking it slow, you lower your hand to the ground and make no move toward the cat, waiting for it to get a smell and a feel for you. It isn't long before the cat in question is launching himself into your lap, drawing delighted laughs from both you and Johnny. 

You run your fingers through the thick fur of the white longhair, figuring out what spots the cat likes most. 

"He likes you." Johnny comments with amusement, shuffling ever so slightly closer until your thighs touch—his arm slips around the booth seat behind you as he settles in.

Your eyes meet his, your skin prickling with the intensity of his closeness. "Hopefully like the human version." 

"Definitely." The arm around the back of the seat comes to settle on your shoulders, as Johnny slowly moves his hand over to the cat and lets him sniff his fingers. Johnny's eyes brighten unmistakably when the feline nuzzles against his hand, and then he breaks out into a mischievous grin. "D'ya think he's cuter than me?" 

Johnny tilts his head to the side, almost puppylike as he preens at your attention—your eyes roaming over him as if you're making a difficult choice.

"Hmm. He has a lot more hair than you do, but I think you win." You give cat Jonny another stroke, while you smile at human Johnny with glee. "I'll have to feel how soft your hair is to make a real decision, though."

You say it mostly as a joke, but Johnny looks sincere as he urges you to do it. "Go on." 

You raise your hand, panic flowing through you as you hesitate for a moment—your fingers hovering inches away from Johnny's head. He leans into your touch, as you stroke through the short tufts of hair. "It's... so soft." You admit, pulling away quickly before you get carried away. 

"What did yer think it was gonna feel like?" Johnny asks with a barked laugh that you can't help but return. 

You crinkle your nose, because honestly, with the fact he clearly uses styling products to make his mohawk stand on end, you hadn't expected it to feel as soft and pleasant as it did. "I don't know, I can't imagine you have premium shampoo and conditioner in the army." 

"They're just naturally luscious locks, dinnae what to tell yer." He swishes his head playfully, as if he's flipping a head full of hair. 

"Effortlessly flawless, just like the rest of you." You tease him, joining in the joking. 

"Oh aye?" He asks with a wink, playfully fishing for more compliments. 

Not that he needs to fish, you think. Surely Johnny knows how handsome he is, and even before meeting him, you've gushed over his good looks.  

Still, you look upon him with genuine admiration and rapidly unfolding infatuation, you're exalting words tumbling freely from you without much thought. "You're just so... gorgeous, godlike, really."  

"As are you, bonnie. Cannae believe it." The look in his eyes is so real, so intense it makes your heart twinge, and leaves no room for you to doubt the sincerity of his words.

The two of you continue to stare into each other's eyes, enjoying the silent conversation that seems to pass between the two of you—the unspoken desire and adoration. 

"Are we just gonna spend the day staring at each other?" You giggle, breaking the moment when it becomes a little bit too intense for you.

"Wouldnae be such a bad thing." Johnny replies swiftly, ever so smoothly. 

Jonny the cat takes that moment to crawl off your lap, rubbing himself along Johnny as he all but demands pets from the man. Johnny indulges him instantly, large fingers scratching at that perfect point between the kitty's ears. Watching it shouldn't make you blush as much as it does.

"I think he likes you too." 

Johnny nods, a serious look on his face. "He knows we're chums."

"You must give really good head pats." You tease, wishing you could take the words back as soon as you said them. Was saying such a thing too much too soon? Was it too early to start to invoke elements of your potential future dynamic? 

Johnny meets your eye, his lips curling into a smirk as his eyes turn mischievous. "Wanna find out?" 

"Of course." Your response is instant, breathless—already offering yourself up to the man before you. You quickly remember your manners. "Please."

Johnny lets the cat on his lap jump down before he turns his attention to you fully, his hand settling on top of your head as he gently, carefully caresses you. Your body is quickly overwhelmed with shivers, an electric sensation coursing through you as his fingers dip deeper into your hair, massaging at the back of your neck until your eyes start to slip shut from the sheer bliss. 

They shoot back open when his fingers dip the chain on your neck, tugging sharply enough to get your attention without putting any real force behind it.

He leans in as if to share a secret, his smirk wolfish as you continue to react so perfectly to his touch. "Nice choker, by the way, pet." 

"Wore it just for you." You whisper, words weak as you tremble with so much need for Johnny. 

He's pulling back, taking all his warmth with you, before he strokes through your hair one more time. "That's my girl."

You could burst into flames right now, or simply melt under the intensity of his gaze. Not even an hour into date one, and you can already feel how wet this man has made you, how much he makes your heart call out to him. Your body and soul burn with need, already wanting more of him in every way.

"Fuck." You sigh in frustration, burying your head into his shoulder to hide your aroused expression. "I hate that there's so many people around right now." 

"Feeling naughty?" He chuckles in such a knowing way, because he knows exactly what he's doing and how you feel about it. 

You meet his gaze, eyes desperate and pleading for mercy. "Johnny, I feel drunk and mindless already and you haven't even actually done anything." 

He moves one of your hands from your thigh to his, holding onto it for a moment. He won't offer you mercy, but he will at least let you see how you make him feel too. "Can I borrow your hand?" 

"Why?" You ask reflexively, before your thoughts catch up to you. Oh. Oh!" 

You allow him to move your hand further up his thigh until your fingers graze over the hardness in his jeans, and you have to stifle your gasp with your other hand.

"Why am letting the cats come to me insteada the other way around." He whispers, voice gravelly and strained. 

The feelings both his words and his body inspire in you are dangerous, causing you to act as you palm at his cock through his jeans, listening to the hitches in his breath as you begin to stroke and caress. He's rock solid, all before you even laid a hand on him, and it's addicting to you that he's clearly in just as deep as you are—that he sees all this as you do. 

His hand moves to grab at your wrist, warning but not painful. "Ach, quit it." He groans, now on the receiving end of such wonderful torture.

"You started it." You whine, taking the chance to grasp him one more time before you stop your teasing. "Johnny you're fucking huge." 

Already your head spins just contemplating it, but Johnny only adds to your delirium. 

"Wait until it's stuffin' yer little cunt full." He purrs, lips brushing against your skin as he does, and you have to resist the urge to moan aloud.

You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to pull away from Johnny as you slip out of the booth. "Okay, I need a breather, join me at the cat tree when you've... calmed down." 

His smile is devilish, as he watches you go, content to spectate from afar as you coo over the kittens until he can join you.

Your time at the café passes quicker than either of you would have liked, and when it's time for you to vacate your table, the server approaches once more with a bill for the teas and coffees you had enjoyed. 

"Will you be paying together or separately?" They ask, which causes you to glance at Johnny questioningly.

You'd already, in your mind, prepared yourself to offer one or both halves of the bill.

Johnny speaks before you can. "Together." He insists, reaching for his wallet and offering his card to the server—not allowing any room for argument. 

You stay silent until the transaction is complete and the two of you are alone again, before you decide to address it. "Johnny... I would've paid." 

He shakes his head, flipping his wallet shut as he slips it into his back pocket. "Don't be ridiculous." 

You open your mouth to offer further protest, but his brows quirks as he almost challenges you to say another word.

Accepting defeat, you smile graciously and sincerely. "Thank you."

"My ma would pitch a fit if she found out I let yer pay." He continues to wave it off like it's nothing. "Let me spoil yer, aye? You'll hafta get used to it anyway. Okay, kitty?" 

You're not sure if it's the idea of him spoiling you or the nickname that makes you shiver the most, but the combination of both makes your head spin.

"I better start thinking of ways to repay you." You joke, throwing him a flirtatious wink as your hand snakes under his jacket to stroke at his chest. 

Johnny pulls back, face flashing with a realisation and a bright grin. "Oh, before I forget." 

You watch him, just a touch confused, as he reaches into his jacket and pulls out a small, patterned paper bag—he hands it straight to you. "Got yer a little somethin'" 

"Johnny..." You groan playfully, having not expected a gift, or having brought anything for him either. 

"It's nothin', promise." He smiles, encouraging you to open it. 

You peel open the paper bag to find a handmade, woven bracelet inside—one you've seen in countless stalls across your life, but the sight doesn't fail to make your heart sing.

"Oh my god, a friendship bracelet?" Your delighted gasp is genuine, as you feel touched by the gesture. 

"Needed to buy something at a souvenir shop. Y'know blend in, look like a tourist." He shrugs casually. "Thought of you." 

"I love it, thank you." You clutch it to your chest, genuinely so pleased. "Did you get yourself one?" 

"No?" Johnny plucks the bracelet from you, as he takes hold of your wrist and gets to tying the threads together. 

You pout, half joking and half serious, as you realise you won't be matching. "Wow, guess we're not friends then." 

"Puppy." His tone is warning and serious, drawing your attention to him so obediently. 

You swallow, nerves flooding through you. "Yeah?" 

His eyes never waver from yours, the sincerity within making you tremble. "The things I'll do to yer, friends don't do tae each other, yeah?" His low tone and the lack of a playful smile make you clench. 

"Understood." You nod dumbly, too awestruck and aroused to give him a real response. 

"Good girl." He grins, patting your wrist with the bracelet now attached. "Ready to go?" 

"Yeah..." 

He takes your hand in his once more, leading you back to the entrance to collect your shoes before you make it back onto the street. All the while, you turn his words over in your head, desperately holding on to the soaring feeling in your chest and the pit of arousal deep inside you. The effect he has on you is downright vicious.

"Where to now?" He asks, waiting for you to lead him around the city. 

The cooler air of the street helps calm you down, as you steer your thoughts back to more appropriate things. 

"I was thinking we could just walk around, window-shop. Maybe grab some dinner? When have I got you til?" 

"Last train is at 9." 

You sigh wistfully, already dreading the moment he has to feel. "Doesn't feel like long enough." 

"You'll be sick of me by then, lass." He chuckles, his smile still making you feel as full as it did the first time you saw it. 

"Not if you're sick of me first."

The two of you take in the city streets hand in hand for a little while, wandering around the shops and chatting about anything and everything. The conversation comes just as easy as it always does, and before long the two of you head for something to eat and drink at a nearby pub.

The atmosphere is cosy as the two of you tuck yourselves away at a table in the corner, order your food and drinks and get to chatting once more. You've already teased Johnny for ordering another coffee along with his meal, while he needled you for ordering several side dishes instead of a main. 

Both of you are excited to tuck in when the food arrives, and your conversation turns to getting to know more about the other. 

"So, what can you tell me about work?" You ask, finally feeling brave enough to broach the subject. Johnny's work will come with a lot of complications, you already know that, and one of them is likely that he will have to be careful about the things he shares. That doesn't stop your curiosity, though. 

"What d'ya wanna know?" He responds, open and earnest, as he dips a chip into his sauce.

You think for a moment, trying to conjure up your most pertinent questions. "Who do you work with?" 

Johnny swallows his food before wiping his hands on his napkin and pulling out his fun. He turns it to you when he brings up a photo, zoomed in on an older man in tactical gear.

"Well, first there's the Captain, Price. Best captain we could ask for." He comments, looking to you for your response.

Something in the Captain's eyes tells you he's dependable, and you can hear the respect he holds from Johnny's voice. 

"Interesting facial hair." You giggle, referencing the grown-out mutton chops that surprisingly suit him.

Johnny laughs, nodding in agreement. "Oh aye, a right character he is." He swipes along the photo to another man, much younger but tall too.

His smile is the first thing you notice, so bright and earnest, and with perfect teeth. 

"Gaz, Kyle. We're always getting into shit together." He adds with a mischievous chuckle. "Good lad though."  

"He looks nice." You offer, before scrolling across the image yourself. 

The next man in line is the tallest and broadest, his face hidden behind a skull mask that you find strangely endearing. "Ooh, cool mask." 

"That's Ghost." Johnny whispers, his voice more sombre than before.

The lack of a real name combined with the mask confuses you. "Just Ghost?" You ask. 

"Aye, unless he tells you otherwise. Scary motherfucker, loves a good dad joke though." Johnny humanises him, and the fondness within his voice doesn't escape you. 

All in all, you're left with more questions than answers, but you already feel privileged that Johnny has shared this much with you. Still, there's something pressing on your mind. "Everyone gets a nickname, what's yours?" 

"Soap." He answers firmly, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

"Soap? Why?" You can't say you're familiar with military nicknames, but Soap certainly seems like a strange one. 

"Am good at cleaning house." There's something underlying his playful tone that you can't quite put your finger on, something hinting at the inevitable darkness underneath. 

Johnny pushes past it like it never happened, turning the attention back on you. "How's your work, anyway?"

"Boring, though I imagine every job is compared to yours." You pause, taking a sip of your drink as you try to conjure up anything interesting about your career. "I work at my PC all day and the highlight is office gossip, which is often about one or two messy people fucking everyone in the building." 

"Like reality TV, but you live it?" He smirks, already seeming amused by the inevitable stories he'll get to hear. It seems Johnny might be a little bit of a gossip. 

"Yes, exactly!" You giggle, finding his intrigue endearing. "So I live in reality TV and you live in one of those gritty military shows." 

"Pretty much." He clicks his tongue, turning to take a sip of his own drink as his eyes glaze over again. 

You dread to think of all the things he's seen—witnessing them on TV is already too much for you, never mind seeing them for real. 

"... It must be tough." You offer earnestly, unsure of what else to say. 

"Sometimes, it's no' so bad, really." He shrugs, a tight smile on his lips. "I'd rather not talk about it while I'm with yer, not now anyway. That okay?" 

The softness in his eyes fuels the guilt gripping at your chest—you never meant to pry or make him uncomfortable, only to offer yourself up as a safe space. "Yeah, I'm sorry." 

"Nothing to apologise for. You'll have plenty of time to get to know that part of me, tha's all." He gives you a smile, a more earnest one this time, as he refuses to let either of you settle in a solemn moment. Instead, he redirects to the idea of you spending time together in the future. 

"Oh, I will?" You ask, voice hopeful—any negative emotions swirling away as Johnny reaches out to stroke your hand.

"Already planning our second date in ma head." He winks cheekily, that gorgeous smile back on his face in full effect. 

You settle back into your meal with a contented warmth spreading through you, feeling like there's nowhere else you'd rather be than by Johnny's side.

When you make it to the train station hours later, your heart starts to sink as you get closer and closer to your goodbye. The sun is only just beginning to dip into the sky, but the train schedule demands Johnny's return to Hereford. 

The two of you stand before the departure boards, savouring your last moments together as you hold each other close.

"How are yer getting home?" Johnny asks, ever the gentleman. 

You don't look him in the eye as you speak words you know he isn't going to enjoy hearing, in fact, you all but hide in his chest as you mumble. "I was planning on walking." 

He stiffens, pulling away slightly. "I'll order an uber." His words are laced with a protectiveness—and whether it's his instincts as a man, a soldier, or a dom you're not sure. Likely, it's a combination of all, making him determined to get you home safe and sound. 

You already know better than to argue with him on this. "I can order my own uber." 

His eyes soften, clearly relaxing upon hearing you relent so easily. "Promise?" 

You nod. "I swear, I will." 

You cuddle back into his chest again, the two of you clinging to each other. With your ear pressed against him, you can hear the steady rhythm of Johnny's heart, and you focus on it beating as you absorb every last moment with him. 

That moment is interrupted by the station announcement, informing you that the next train to depart will be his. 

"I better get going." He loosens his grip on you but still holds your arms as he stares down at you adoringly. 

"Don't want you to." You admit, voice a little forlorn. It already hurts to let him go, especially since you don't know when you'll see each other again. Johnny could be deployed again at any moment, and after making all of this real, the thought seems paralysing.

"I don't want to either, but I'll see yer soon." He whispers soothingly, a hand stroking across your cheek as the promise falls from his lips. 

You force yourself to smile, to feel strong in the face of your separation. Something within you urges you to put on a brave face, to show Johnny that you can be resolute for him. "We'll have to think more on a cool date number two idea." 

"We will." He nods, fingers still stroking oh so delicately across your cheek, as his eyes flicker down to your lips. "Bonnie?" 

"Yeah?" Your response is barely audible, your breath stolen as you know what's coming next, and you crave it so desperately. 

"Gonna kiss yer now, if tha's alright."

"Please." 

Johnny closes the final inches as he presses his lips to yours—soft and gentle at first as his hand cups your cheek, before the other comes to grasp at you too, holding you in place as he deepens the kiss. Your body floods with euphoria, desire, peace—as you kiss back with everything you have and pour all of yourself into him. 

The two of you are lost in each other, all grasping hands and lips caressing lips—two hearts opening up to each other. 

Johnny is the only one of you with enough restraint to pull away, settling his forehead against yours as he smiles unreservedly—his eyes shining with delight. "Fuckin' Christ." 

You push against his chest, putting some distance between you as you giggle. "You better go before we commit acts of public indecency." 

"Aye." He nods, yet he tucks a finger under your chin to angle your mouth up at him. "One more?" 

You nod enthusiastically before diving back in, savouring his lips on yours—the taste of coffee, the softness contrasted with his stubble, the hint of a groan that rumbles through him. 

"Okay." He sighs, forcing himself to step away, even if your hands remain linked. "Message me when you get home, yeah?" 

"I'll be texting you the second you leave, sorry." 

"Oh, I was planning on doing the same, dinnae worry." He winks.

Reluctantly, you let him go—instantly feeling a little more lost without him at your side. 

"See you soon, Johnny." You call out, smile soft as he makes his way over to the ticket gate. 

"Not if I see yer first, sweetheart." He calls back, then turns his attention away to scan his ticket at the barrier. 

On the other side, he catches your eye once more, offering you a tiny, playful salute before he turns to make his way to his train. 

You're left in a weird state between euphoria and emptiness—feeling like you have everything and nothing at the same time. Johnny was everything you could've wanted and more, and you're already counting down the days until you can see him again. 

You watch until his silhouette disappears, and turn your attention to your phone to get to ordering that uber you promised him you'd take. When you unlock your phone, a message from Johnny is waiting for you. 

Miss you already, my pretty kitty <3

[gracieheartspedro]

Somewhere With You

Part 4 of How Long

pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller

FIND Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 HERE!!

description: sleeping with your exes brother is one thing, but envisioning a whole life with him? that's a dangerous game. but you did it. now you're here, and tommy is fucking pissed.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! fear of being caught by sarah?, unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING, dirty talk, overstimulation, titty fucking (yw caly), light violence, tommy is literally evil.

author's note: jesus christ i'm so glad I am finally here with this. I feel like finishing this is my greatest success in life lmao. I will probably continue this series but this is the last part for a while. I appreciate everyone's love on it and I can't wait to get more stuff out to y'all!

“Are we going to have a celebration when we get home?”

Joel laughs, “Yeah, we can. What did you wanna do?”

You just listen to Sarah list off all the possible ways to celebrate winning the tournament. The movies, going to the mall for new jeans, going to the local ice cream parlor every night of the week. Joel shakes his head at that one as he turns the truck onto the highway. You have your knees up to your chest, the zip up Joel let you borrow hanging off your shoulders. You had complained about how cold you were all weekend, so Joel shut you up by tossing you his zip up. You haven’t taken it off since. 

The sun was setting over the horizon, drawing the Sunday to a close. You had to work in the morning and you were dreading concluding the weekend you spent with Joel and Sarah. 

Everything with them seems natural. It felt like family. 

You did not want to face tomorrow, especially when there was no set plans as to when you would be hanging out with them again. 

Luckily, Sarah has not mentioned much of anything about what she saw early Saturday morning, so there was no awkward tension. The only time it came up was when you all were tired from Saturday’s events and you arrived back to the hotel room.

“You two sleeping together tonight, too?” She asked, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. She wasn’t even trying to be rude or demeaning, she just wanted to know if she could fall asleep in one of the beds without being stirred. 

“Yeah, you can have that bed hun.” Joel answered. 

Sitting on those horribly uncomfortable bleachers and cheering Sarah on had taken a lot out of you, so you were ready to throw yourself into the plush mattress, too. 

You watched Sarah throw herself onto of the comforter, sinking into the pillows face first. It makes you giggle while you grab your pajamas to change. 

Joel nudges you while you dig through your duffle, “No funny business tonight, ma’am.” 

You shake your head, his comment making your stomach turn upside down with nerves. You smack his chest with the back of your hand, “No duh, asshole.”

Sarah puts her headphones on, drowning out Joel’s humming to an old country song. You just stare ahead, watching him speed pass car after car. His truck revs every time he does it which makes you clench your knees a bit tighter. 

“In a rush, dear?”

The nickname makes his heart race.

He taps his fingers, trying to act like that nickname doesn’t drive him insane. “Want to make sure to get you home so you can be rested up for work in the morning.”

“That’s mighty sweet of you, but take your time. I’m in no rush.”

He eases off the gas a bit, taking your advice. 

“You talk to your Mama lately? She still likin’ Maine?” 

It wasn’t a question you were expecting coming from Joel. You had told him about your mom around the time that she moved away, however long ago that was. You truly didn’t expect him to even remember.

“We talk every week, she likes it there. Wants me to come experience a winter there, so I may go up for Christmas,” You explain, remembering back to conversation you two just had last week. She wanted you to feel what fluffy snow felt like and maybe go skiing with her. 

It makes Joel’s heart sink a bit. Not because you would be visiting your mother, but instead you would not be here to spend Christmas with him and Sarah. He had already planned on making a spot for you at the dining table. 

“That’d be nice,” He licks his lips, contemplating if he should say what he really wants to say, “‘M bettin’ she misses seein’ your beautiful face everyday.”

You smile, your cheeks burning hot at Joel calling you beautiful. You knew you had to throw him off and give him a sarcastic response to keep him on his toes.

“Gonna freeze my ass off there. May have to borrow some of your flannels.”

He chuckles, tilting his head towards you, “You already havta’ have about four of my t-shirts, now that hoodie. You wanna raid me some more?”

“If I’m remembering correctly, you said I just had to “get with you” to get clothes,” You’re whispering, leaning into him. You don’t want Sarah to hear the words you’re speaking to her father, “How many times do we need to go at it before I get one of those denim jackets you own?”

He peers over at you. You smirk, quirking one eyebrow up.

“You with me to get my clothes or somethin’?”

“That and other things,” You tease, pulling away, leaning your back against the seat again. 

Joel peers into the rear view mirror. Sarah is asleep, her headphones blasting her favorite pop album. He tilts his head towards you, his eyes not leaving the road, “You’ll havta remind me of those other things when we get home.”

He could get used to always having you in his passenger seat. 

-

Sarah was dead asleep in the backseat, so you both decided to get all the stuff from the back inside before nudging her awake. You quietly shut the door, grabbing Joel’s one bag from the driveway and slinging it over your shoulder. 

You follow close behind him as he unlocks the front door and places Sarah’s stuff on the staircase. 

The idea of having to leave made you want to scream. You didn’t feel like driving home and laying lonely in your own bed. You didn’t want to resume your boring life at work. You just wanted him. 

This weekend made you realize that you really couldn’t live without him. You’re not only comfortable around him, but he’s exciting. He cracks jokes and compliments you when you don’t expect it. Those couple of months without him were still months he was plaguing your mind, even though he wasn’t physically around you. 

You snap out of your thoughts quickly. You start watching Joel’s muscles restrict over his gray t-shirt and it’s enough to send you to your knees. You didn’t even realize how crazy he was driving you. His messy curls that were trapped under a hat most of the weekend are finally loose and curling up his neck. And the way his jeans hugged his ass while he walked away from you? You didn’t know how long to could refrain from telling him you needed him, right this second. 

“I may call out tomorrow. Too tired to sit on my computer all day and run reports,” You say while he wonders back to you from his bedroom down the hall. You’re hoping it leads to an offer.  

He nods, tossing his keys on the entry table next to you,“Yeah, I am off tomorrow. Have to get this house in order and make sure Sarah actually wakes up for school in the morning.”

No offer. Maybe you could propose it?

“Maybe I could just spend the night.”

The air is thick instantly with tension. You can hear the hitch in his throat. Once you say it, you realize how desperate you must sound. But you want to be able to lay next to him again. You want and need him. 

“If that’s what you wanna do, sweetheart. I don’t mind none. Love havin’ you here.”

He grabs your waist lazily, pulling you into his chest. The connection sends chills down your arms. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to you to think I’m being needy.”

He doesn’t even hesitate, he just bows his head to capture your lips with his, giving you a slow sensual kiss. You move your hands up to his neck, pulling him down further into you, eager to be close to him. 

When he realizes that’s where it’s going, he pulls up for air. 

“Lemme go get the last couple bags and get Sarah inside.”

As he says that, the door flings open behind you. A sleepy Sarah blinks at both of you, shaking her head instantly when she sees her Dad’s arms wrapped around you. You push back, flinging yourself backwards and away from Joel. 

“Can you lovebirds do that somewhere else,” She groans, while rubbing her eyes, “Don’t need another sibling created right in front of m-”

“Sarah Jane!”

-

You smile when Joel drops onto his mattress with a huff. 

“So…” You drift off, crawling onto Joel’s lap, “You come here often?”

He chuckles, his hands beginning to trail your waist.

“Come here quite often, actually,” He jokes, his hands resting right under your shirt and on your hips. “How about you?”

You hum, “Not really. Maybe a couple times. Would love to come around, more though.”

“That so?”

You lean down, using your fingers to pull back his brown locks and pivot his head upward. You kiss him gingerly, smiling at his small groan.

You pull away, “I’d love to come to your bed every night, Joel Miller.”

The guttural moan he makes sends a rush to your core. He grabs the nape of your neck and brings you back down to his lips. He takes control of your movements, switching positions by gently laying you back. He leans over your body, his lips carrying the weight of his emotion. You’re scrambling though, tugging at his shirt, trying to rid it off his body. He pulls away to throw it off his body, motioning you to do the same. Soon, you two are completely naked.

“I never get sick of this view,” He rasps, his eyes raking your body. 

You smirk, “Back atcha, babe.”

He positions himself on top of you, his lips lingering on your neck and collarbones. 

Joel’s kisses are always intentional. It’s like he knows every pressure point on your body. His lips are always wet and supple, dragging across your soft skin. 

When his mouth reaches the skin around your breast, you start to arch up for more contact. He grabs your stomach, pushing it softly down onto the bed. 

“Patience, baby,” He mumbles, kissing the same area on the other breast. You jerk up again, absentmindedly.

“Can’t help it,” You whine, trying not to sound so desperate. 

He clicks his tongue, “You can and you will.”

His lips wrap around your nipple and you just watch with hooded lids. His eyes are closed, so focus on teasing every inch of your body. You can feel the slick pool between your legs at the sight. 

“Joel, please.”

He releases the pink nub, “What, baby? Use those words.”

“I want you all over, Joel.”

“Yeah? Where? Here?” 

He grabs your breast roughly, making you mewl. 

You finally gesture down. Your hand slides between your legs, dragging up and down your own slit. You gather as much slick as you can, bringing it up to Joel’s surprised expression. 

“I see…” He brings your fingers up to his lips. You gape at his next actions, amazed that he’s so filthy. He takes your two fingers and licks them like a popsicle. You audible sigh as he sucks on your fingers like a man starved. 

“You goin’ to be extra good for me?” He asks when your digits escape his mouth. 

“Always am.”

Your voice is shaky when you say it. It makes Joel smirk. He loves when you sound ruined.

“Love hearing those words come out of your pretty little mouth.”

He crawls down your body, peppering kisses from your stomach down to your thighs. You watch him closely as he props your thighs over his shoulders. He does not waste time, diving straight into your divine center. You try to refrain from screaming his name, knowing Sarah may not be asleep yet. You clap your hand over your mouth while he licks your sensitive clit. He lays his tongue flat, pressing into you as he shakes his head back and forth. When he does that, you yelp into your palm. 

“Mmm, baby girl wants to be loud so bad,” He chuckles darkly, using his fingers to spread your lips, “You wanna be loud for me huh?”

“Yes, please, God,” You pant, “Need you in me, Joel.”

“Yeah? Lets stretch you out a bit,” He doesn’t even give any warning when he sinks his fingers inside your pussy. “Gotta make sure you’re nice and ready, baby girl. Want you to cum before I stick this cock in ya.”

You swallow, letting him take the lead like usual. You liked it this way, when he ravishes you with his abilities and you get to cum several times. You never had sex like this in your life, especially consistently. 

His fingers curl inside you, pumping in and out. You can hear how wet you are, the wetness sequelching against Joel’s fingers. Your pussy is graced with his tongue again while he fucks you with his digits. It’s like it’s pulled out of you. The orgasm sends white hot flashes to your vision. You know you’re saying something, but it’s no word in the English language. 

When you come back down from euphoria, Joel’s ontop of you again. He’s kissing your cheeks, mumbling something about how beautiful you are when you cum. 

“Joel, please,” Your hands grab onto his biceps, “Want you inside me.”

His cock drags along your navel, as he situates himself between your legs. 

“Yeah? Always so eager,” He grabs his cock with his free hand, “Wanna try something a little different?”

Your stomach drops, “Like what?”

He toys with your nipple with his pointer and thumb, “Always wanted to fuck these.”

You smirk at the thought, your stomach finally at ease.

“You want to fuck my titties, Joel?”

“If you’ll let me,” He squeezes your boob gently, “Think these things are perfect. Want my cock right between them.”

You nod, “Fuck ‘em then, baby.”

He pulls you up, practically shoving you on the ground beside his bed. He wasn’t being aggressive, just guiding you to follow his lead. You sit on your knees, watching up at him as he pumps his cock over you. You use both hands to push your tits together. He grins as he touches the head of his cock to your hard nipples. 

“So good for me,” He groans, slipping his cock between your cleavage, “Obeyin’ me and doin’ everythin’ I want. My fuckin’ dream girl.”

He starts to fuck your squeezed together tits as you stare up at him with a completely spent expression. You dribble some spit down between the break in your breast to lube up the area. Your pupils are blown and you feel the wetness of you slit soaking the skin of your legs. You can tell by the look on Joel’s face that he could cum at the sight of you. 

But he stops and instead, grabs your bicep and tosses you back on the bed. You watch him crawl up between your legs, his face untamed and filled with anticipation. 

“Need to cum in that pussy,” He pumps it a couple times before slipping in between your pussy lips, “Do you need me to put on a condom or anything? I don’t have to fuck you raw every time.”

You bite your lip, “I like feeling every part of you, Joel. I promise.”

“Mmm,” He hums, sinking his cock head inside you, “Love to hear that, baby.”

You circle your hips, practically fiening for him to sink all the way into you. He takes the hint, plunging into you with one snap. Once he’s finally sheathed in you, you groan out which only instigates him. He draws out and back in, his pace painstakingly slow. You grip onto his forearms, digging your nails into them. Maybe he will take the hint that you need it faster. 

But, no.

“Words, darlin’. Tell me what you need.”

You choke out the words, “Faster. Harder.”

He kisses your lips, shushing you as his tempo picks up. He wants to feel the vibrations of your moans. He knows if you’re too loud there may be listening ears, so kissing you will hush the sounds of pleasure. He sits up and repositions, grabbing the back of both of your legs, practically folding you in half. You smirk in delight, watching his furrowed expression focus on your body’s reactions. 

“This pussy is mine,” He huffs, watching himself plow into you, “All fuckin’ mine. Ya know that?”

“Yes,” You manage to peep out, “It’s yours, Joel.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” He spreads your legs, opening you up nice and wide. His thumb finds your responsive clit, circling it with the momentum of his hips, “Cum for me, baby. Soak this fuckin’ cock.”

Your body reacts in the way he finds so satisfying. Your hips lift up as the climax takes over, your whole body shaking at the ecstasy he brings you. He doesn’t let up, chasing his own bliss. You are so overstimulated, you are just gasping for air. He starts to falter, his pace slowing as he coats your insides with his cum. 

You start to chuckle when his body practically collapses onto you. His sweaty curls stick to your perspiring cheek. You find yourself kissing his temple, practically thanking him for fucking you so good every time.

He stands up, his half-hard dick slipping out of you pain-stakingly slow. You whimper at the feeling, still a mess from your orgasm. 

“God, you are perfect,” He mumbles, his hand slipping down your bare thigh, “Could fuck you every day for the rest of my life.”

You are still awestruck by the interaction, you don’t even know you’re saying it, “Why don’t you?”

He smiles while he helps you sit up, “I will. Now let’s get you all showered and ready for bed, huh?”

“Yes, please.”

-

Luckily for you, your body naturally wakes up at 5:30AM. You creep out of the bedroom, making sure not to stir Joel awake. You find the house phone and call your boss, letting her know you were “sick” and needed to use a sick day. She just mumbled a “whatever” and you hung up, heading back to the warmth of Joel’s bed. 

Joel wakes up as soon as you crawl back into bed, but he knew he had to get up and make sure Sarah got ready and off to school, anway. He cuddles you for a bit, watching you nod back off to sleep. He let you sleep in while he cleaned up the house a bit. He tries his best not to much too much noise, not wanting to rattle you awake. 

You did wake back up when you heard the vacuum. You pull yourself together, putting your hair up into a bun as you stumble out of the bedroom. Joel stands in the living room, not even aware you’re behind him. He jumps when he notices you in the threshold, turning off the vacuum. 

“Mornin’ sleepin’ beauty,” He laughs as he wraps up the vacuum cord. 

“Mornin’ handsome.”

You watch him roll the machine back into the hall closet before taking note to how nice and clean the house looked. 

“Looks good in here,” You mumble, noting how every surface looks dusted, “It’s missing one thing. You have a vase?”

He silently nods, looking at you confused.

“Go fill it with water, I’ll be back.”

You walk towards the front door, swinging it open as you begin tip toeing to Joel’s side garden. He had started it with Sarah years ago, and for the most part, it was completely overgrown. Some flowers still bloom in the Texas sun, so you pick the prettiest from the dirt. Once you have a bundle, you practically jog inside to show Joel your bouquet. 

“Hmm,” He smirks, “Didn’t think we needed flowers.”

“Well, you do.”

He shows you the vase on the coffee table, letting you take on the responsibility to make it pretty. He watches you carefully, your tired eyes trained on the task. 

You were his dream girl, truly.

Once you’re satisfied with your arrangement, you make a grand gesture. 

“Beautiful, baby,” He beams, wrapping his arms around your waist. He drops down onto the couch, pulling you into his lap. 

“Who me or the flowers?” You joke.

“Both.”

You give him a lazy kiss, smirking into it. 

This part of life with Joel is so domestic and perfect. You two could create this little world and live in it forever. He appreciated your silly antics, knowing how neglected this side of you must have been with Tommy. He didn’t care about the small gestures like Joel did. 

It was so reassuring being with Joel. He praised you like you had never been before. 

As you pull away from his lips, you hear a door slam outside. Before you could even react, the front door swings open into the house. You sit on Joel’s lap, turned away from the front door, completely dumbfounded.

“What is going on here?”

His voice scares you. You don’t even want to turn around in Joel’s lap to face him. Joel slowly helps you out of his lap, his eyes never leaving Tommy’s. 

When you finally turn to face Tommy, his eyes are wild and bright red. He looks like he hasn’t showered in days, his longer hair greasy and standing in all sorts of directions. It’s not his appearance that scares you, it’s the energy he’s brought into Joel’s living room. It’s the same scary tension you experienced when he lashed out on you before. 

Joel finally speaks up, clearing his throat. “What do you mean?”

But Tommy isn’t talking to Joel. He’s looking at you. 

“Are you fuckin’ my brother?”

He’s pointing at you, his finger waving at you like an adult who’s scolding a child. You open your mouth, but you can’t say anything. Your throat is dry, the shock and terror taking ahold of your vocal chords. 

“Tommy, we aren’t doing this.”

Joel puts himself in between Tommy and you, ensuring he doesn’t creep closer to you. You want to believe Tommy would never get physical with you, but the way he looks now, you’re not one hundred percent positive. 

“That’s not what I fuckin’ asking, Joel. Are you two sleepin’ together?” 

His voice is booming, bouncing off every corner of the room. It makes you shrink three sizes. 

Joel places his head up, warning him silently not to get any closer, “Tommy-”

“Answer the fuckin’ question!”

You want to curl into a ball. You knew this would fucking happen. You knew he’d go insane. 

You look at Joel finally. You realize your eyes were trained on Tommy in terror, unsure on how to console him. Joel licks his lips, rolling his eyes a bit. You just nod, trying to answer Tommy’s question without saying anything. You didn’t want him to realize how shaky your voice was. 

Once he gets confirmation, all hell breaks loose. He’s pushing on Joel with his chest, screaming expletives at him. You stand in the corner of the living room, your body practically wedged between a lamp and the couch. You want to become one of the dustbunnies on the floor boards, not wanting to be apart of this situation.

“You’re a fuckin’ asshole! You fucked my girl-“

Before he can even finish the statement, Joel becomes a brick wall. He’s staring down at Tommy now, all the while snot is running down at his little brother’s face. He looked pathetic. As he nudges Joel’s chest, he hardly moves a milimeter. Joel doesn’t even hesitate when he says the next words. 

“Not your girl.”

You truly cannot believe the words coming out of Joel’s mouth. You knew what he was insinuating and it brought chills up your back. Tommy’s movements completely halt and he stands there in a stunned silence. Joel’s jaw is slack, his eyes trained down at Tommy. It’s a stand-off. 

Tommy crooks his head to the side, like he’s stretching it. “You want to pull that shit now, Joel? I knew you wanted my sloppy seconds the moment you told me she was at your house that night.”

Being referred as “sloppy seconds” makes your blood boil. It’s so dehumanizing. 

“Stop talking about her like that,” Joel warns, his voice a whole octave lower. 

“No,” Tommy growls, his gaze finally falling on you again, “You’re a whore. Just like your stupid sister.”

You swallow hard. It’s finally your moment to shine. The burst of adrenaline chorusing through your veins finally propels you forward, pushing Joel out of your way. 

“You’re the town whore, Tommy Miller. You fucked your way around Austin and then came home to me every night,” You are shaking. Luckily, your voice isn’t wavering, “You lie. You cheat. You are a decietiful little shit. And I’m so glad you are because if you hadn’t slept with my sister and told me, I would have never realized how terrible you were to me all these years. I wasted so much time on babying you.”

The vein in his forehead is bulging and it makes you smile a bit. 

“If I could go back in time, I would’ve saved my fucking tears and ran the other direction.”

He has the audacity to giggle, “Instead you ran right into Joel’s arms.”

You don’t hesitate, “You never gave a damn about me, he actually did. I should’ve taken the hint the moment he brought me flowers for my graduation, and you showed up with a flask.”

“You graduated college! Big fuckin’ deal! Get over yourself!”

Now you’re laughing. 

“Bite me, Tommy,” You reach out and grab his t-shirt, pulling him into you. It makes Joel super nervous how close he is to you. He knows Tommy’s temper and how easily he will snap. He doesn’t know the next words about to come out of your mouth. 

“You cheated on me, you fucking loser. I told you then we were done that night, did I not? What I did after that point is not your business. I’m not yours anymore. And your brother, he treats me real good. Way better than you ever did. He can actually last, unlike you,” You smack your lips together, “He can fuck me better than you, that’s for sure.”

Joel’s eyes widen at the words. Tommy looks completely dazed, but as soon as the last line leaves your mouth, he pushes you backward, right into Joel. You squeak at the contact, your brain registering that he actually put his hands on you. Joel quickly grabs you from tripping over him, and places you behind him quickly. Tommy reaches out for you, but Joel stops him meer inches from your face. 

“Fuck you!”

Tommy tries to throw his hand at Joel’s head next but it’s quickly stopped by Joel’s forearm. Instead of Tommy continuing the fight with you two, he takes it out on the new flowers and vase you just put out on Joel’s coffee table. He uses all his force, grabbing the vase and launching it towards the wall. The glasses shatters, water splashes on the wall, and pieces of flowers litter the floor. 

The action sends Joel pushing Tommy backward and against the wall. You want to yell out for them to stop, but all that comes out his Joel’s name. 

When he pins Tommy to the wall, he finally turns to you. 

“Don’t.”

It’s the only word you can say. You’re shaking, your eyes welling with tears. Joel knows you don’t want to see him demolish Tommy with his fists, so he thinks quick. He grabs Tommy’s collar, dragging him out the front door. 

You follow far behind, not sure what Joel’s gameplan is. 

Tommy is yelling, telling Joel to unhand him. Joel just tightens his grip. 

“Coming into my house, talking to my girl like that. Fuckin’ disrespectful little shit.”

“Fuck you, Joel,” Tommy yells, his voice probably waking the neighbors. Joel launches Tommy’s body into the front yard, right near the flower bed. You watch from the doorway, wanting to keep your distance from the confrontation. 

“Remember when you had temper tantrums when Momma told you no as a boy? Nothings changed. You’re an immature little brat.”

Joel reaches down into the flower bed, grabbing the hose. Tommy is still on the ground, scrambling to get up. Joel does something so unexpected, it makes you yelp. He starts soaking Tommy with the hose. 

“Yeah, like the girl said before,” He aims towards Tommy’s face, “bite me.”

Tommy starts to spit up water, jumping up and away from the stream of water. Instead of tackling Joel like you anticipate, he just shakingly wipes his hair out of his eyes. 

“You two are sick. Fuckin’ sick. And everyone will know about this.”

It makes your heart sink to your stomach. You don’t really care if anyone knows anymore. You knew this was going to be the worst part, but its the way he makes it sound like a threat. 

“I bet they will, I just don’t give a damn.”

Joel sprays him while he stands up, making Tommy groan and yell out in annoyance. Joel just smiles, sickly. 

Tommy storms off to his truck, dripping wet from the shower Joel just gave him on his front lawn. Joel tosses the hose back into the garden, satisfied with his work. You two stand there, watching Tommy do a burn out and speed off down the road. You breathe out loud, your hands finding your face. Joel glances between his neighbour’s houses, ensuring there is no one outside watching the events unfold. He did not care if they did watch, but he knew you would probably care. 

He grabs ahold of your shoulders, guiding you back inside the house. Your eyes instantly fall on all the shattered glass and flowers as you walk inside. Joel ignores it and brings you into the kitchen. 

Your mind is racing. You knew every word you said to Tommy was right deep down. But the girl you were, she wouldn’t have instigated his rage. She would’ve sat there and took every word he said to heart and believed them. 

But the girl you are now, that girl is completely ruthless. You are petty. You are harsh. You are angry. 

You kind of scared yourself. 

“Joel-”

“No baby,” he mutters, “You better not say what I think you’re gonna say.”

“Joel, we can’t d-”

“We can. Because fuck Tommy. Fuck everyone,” He grabs your hips, letting his hands settle softly on your curves, “I want you. I want you so bad. I am not lettin’ you get away. Tommy can tell everyone in the fuckin’ world about us, and I won’t fuckin’ care. What he says doesn’t reflect you. You did nothin’ wrong. Okay?”

You swallow. You know he’s right, but you’re so scared of all this fallout. You don’t want it to scare you away from Joel, but it’s nervewracking to wait around and anticipate all of the chaos that will follow this incident. You did not want to tear apart a family. It’s the same feeling you had the morning after you first slept with Joel.

You’re scared to have him because of what it means for him. It means weird holidays and weird stares at grocery stores. It means you will be known as his brother’s ex girlfriend never just his girl. 

You don’t realize it, but you’re staring past Joel. He tilts your head towards him, making your eyes connect. 

“I love you, okay?”

His words make your heart flutter with relief. Maybe that’s what you needed. You needed him to finally say those words. Because those words were hanging in the back of your mind, simmering, waiting to be said.

“I love you, too, Joel.”

[peterparkouryo]

no way remedy | ꕥ

back to school. | ꕥ

warnings: angst per usual, and a glimpse of fluff :3

word count: 3.3k

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ taglist

IT HAD BEEN TWO WEEKS SINCE PETER'S IDENTITY WAS REVEALED. Two weeks left of your summer break, tomorrow being the first day of school that you dreaded with each hour that passed by.

As expected, your dad limited your hangouts with Peter, not wanting you to face more trouble than you already ensued before, which, yeah was ultimately understandable, but you both knew he couldn't just deprive you from seeing your boyfriend. He opted to one hour phone calls instead.

You and Peter had broken that rule, going hours on end during the night while your dad slept soundlessly, oblivious to your loophole.

Currently, you were doing just that, chatting on FaceTime, paying no mind to the fact that it was a school night.

You had missed Peter these past few weeks, and you were finally glad you'd be able to see him tomorrow, but there was no doubt chaos would be awaiting you and your friends.

"Did you get a chance to send in your applications?" You questioned after your conversation about things you expected for Christmas died out.

"I literally just finished my MIT one." Peter tells you, the phone screen bright in your face, a stark contrast from the darkness that surrounded you.

You knew the chances were slim with getting into certain colleges, so you all had came up with a plan to apply to the same backup colleges if all goes wrong, or if miraculously none of you were accepted.

"You?" He retorted back.

"I did, few weeks ago." You admit, shuffling into a more comfortable position.

Peter hums out a response. "Could you imagine if we both got in? MJ and Ned too?" The boy wondered, to which you nod in agreement to. That was the plan after all.

"Yeah, but we'd probably have to get scholarships so that we could actually go." You say, a bit doubtful at your chances.

It's not that you didn't have hope, but with everything that's been going on, you knew your chances of getting in decreased, scholarship or not.

"Come on, you got the scores and the grades." Peter reassured you, dismissing your rational words.

You squint at him in scepticism.

"Are you trying to say I'm being too realistic?" You pondered, raising your eyebrow expectingly.

You probably were, but your question wasn't serious, just only teasing.

"No-, well, yeah, maybe." Peter stuttered out his reply carefully.

Peter shrugs as you let out a low chuckle, watching his face relax into relief, realizing the question wasn't to be taken serious.

"That's okay, though." Peter said after two seconds of silence, giving you a small smile.

"It's one of the many things I love about you." Peter confessed, and he could've swore your eyes got brighter at his sentence.

You smile, feeling the heat warm up your face at his disclosure. The boy seemed to always know what to say at any given time, one of the many things you loved about him. 

"Really?" You amused, Peter giving you a small nod.

"What are the other things?" You wondered, rubbing your cold feet together in attempt to keep them warm.

Peter pretends to think about it for a second, and you roll your eyes at his stunt.

"Well.." He starts, with a smile plastered on his face.

"I love how brave you are." The boy tells you, looking back at the phone.

You hum, waiting for him to continue.

"You're also super nice to people." Peter jokes, to which you laugh at.

"Yup, I just love being nice." You agreed sarcastically.

"Your humour, which can be...really dark at times." Peter continued, you give him a grateful smile.

"It makes it more funny." You say nonchalantly, giving Peter a cheeky smile, watching the boy shake his head.

"And..." He trailed off.

"You make me really happy." Peter finalized, and your heart just about flutters in your chest.

You never really made it a goal to prioritized Peter's happiness, but you would never neglect it on purpose either. There was just this unspoken agreement that you had to always no matter what, make the most of what you had. There were going to be times and obstacles in your life that you would face, and you hoped in some way Peter would be there with you every step of the way.

You could say just about the same as well. You never had anyone in your life make you feel the way you felt when around Peter. His presence was enough to make you melt into a puddle, and you were glad you had found him.

You were truly thankful for him. If he asked for the world, you would give it to him in a heartbeat.

You open your mouth to express your reciprocation, but something, or someone snoring obnoxiously loud in the background breaks your train of thought.

"What's that noise?" You quizzed with furrowed eyebrows.

"Oh, it's Happy, look." Peter replies with a whisper, panning his phone over to a sleeping Happy in his recliner.

"Gave his room to May so he's sleeping down here." The boy adds informally, and you slowly nod before deciding to change the topic.

Since the unexpected situation at Times Square that happened, you had this nagging thought in the back of your head that always seemed to make a guest appearance when you were alone with your daydreaming.

You wanted to ask Peter for awhile now, but you never had the time, or chance to.

You figured now's a good time more than any.

"I have a..weird question." You start unsurely, your tone lowering with each word.

You didn't know how to ask it, really. It only just being a thought in your head, words jumbled together, not really making sense, but you thought it never the less.

"Does any part of you feel relieved about all of this?" You finally let out, watching your boyfriend's face twist in confusion at the lack of context you provided.

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

"Like, with the whole identity thing being revealed." You say more clearly, and his face pondered at your sentence.

A few seconds of silence creeps through the phone, the question still lingering in the air, awaiting to be answered.

"Ever since I got bit by that spider.." Peter starts, breaking the silence as he slowly answered the question.

"I only had one week where my life felt normal." He tells you and you couldn't help but feel bad.

"Or kind of normal, I guess." Peter adds and you nod in silence as he continues.

"And, that is when you found out." He says, gazing back at the phone.

You pout slightly, your sympathetic eyes staring behind your phone as you listened.

"Because then everyone that was in my life that I wanted to know, knew." Peter admits, and your eyes shift back toward the phone.

You understood where Peter was coming from, glad your question was answered. You really couldn't imagine the things your boyfriend had to go through after being bitten by a radioactive spider.

"And it was perfect." 

You sigh in defeat, your face falls into a sad expression, at a lost for words or even a proper reply.

"But now everybody knows and I am the most famous person in the entire world." Peter states with a heavy sigh as he stared at the condo ceiling.

"And I'm still broke." The boy joked, making you let out a giggle.

You were silent for another minute, your heart beating at a steady rhythm against your chest, content with Peter's answer.

You couldn't bare another day without physically seeing him, the daily routined phone calls not enough.

"I really miss you." You tell him with a soft tone, your eyes looking at the carpet of your bedroom before looking back at the phone, seeing Peter's face gleam.

"Yeah?" He asked with a smile.

"Mhm." You hummed. "I also can't wait to see you at school tomorrow." You confessed, your eyes half lidded, tiredness hitting you like an ocean wave.

"I miss you, and I too can't wait to see you at school tomorrow." Peter retorts, his smile only growing wider with each word he says.

"Wrap it up." A voice demands from Peter's end of the phone, making the boy jump in alert, as you just furrow your eyebrows.

"You both like each other. We get it. Hang up." Happy countered sternly and you fight back a laugh at his annoyance.

"There's no new ground being broken. I need my eight hours." The older man says, his voice muffled by the ventilator.

"Have you been listening this whole time?" Peter questioned.

"Hi Happy." You greet awkwardly.

"Uh, not by choice." The man admits, to which you do laugh at.

"Y/N says hi." Peter tells the grumpy man.

"Hello." He waves, slowly drifting off back into his slumber.

You two suppress your giggles after Happy falls asleep again. It only got harder since the mere thought of poor Happy listening to you two talk all sappy to each other, tortured him, and you could take a few guesses as to why.

You yawn after you both stop your laughter, the action not going unnoticed by Peter.

"You should probably get your eight hours in." The boy teased, you snort at his joke, nodding in agreement.

"You as well." You tell him, stretching the lower half of your body, once again shifting into a cosier position.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, 'kay?" Peter agreed, and you could see the sleepiness in his eyes.

It was a wonder how it only took Happy breaking your conversation midway to make the two of you realize just how tired you were.

"Goodnight Peter." You reply, a lazy smile on your face.

"Goodnight." The boy says softly, the phone call coming to an end.

You stretch once more, putting your phone on the nightstand near your bed, turning over to get more comfier under your blanket, closing your eyes and picturing a world where you and your friends didn't have to go through the torment you were going through now.

Hopefully your school day wouldn't be as bad as you thought.

School was just as bad as you thought. As soon as you exit the car, there was a mob of either citizens or students swarming the front of the school. 

You and MJ had to ride to school with Peter and Ned, via Happy's request because May feared the worst if you four weren't together when attending school. You were glad that she suggested it, because compared to how you imagined, it was chaos.

Chaos is probably a bit of a stretch, but when you were walking up to the school, there was people with homemade posters, claiming just how wrongly villainous Peter was, blaming the boy for Mysterio's death.

As mentioned before you weren't a people person, and you didn't do well in a large crowd, though this wasn't exactly your problem, you made it your problem because you knew Peter. You don't regret it one bit though. The one thing you wished for really was for the people to understand Peter's side of the story.

No one deserves to be wrongly accused for something they didn't do, but you knew how the world worked. People believed what they wanted to believe.

Your anxiety worsen as you walked side by side next to said person, Peter, your sister, MJ, and best friend Ned, closely behind the two of you.

You and Peter instinctively reached for each-other's hand, being one another's unsaid emotional support, guiding through the roaring crowds of people dreadfully.

People were either shouting your name, Peter's name, even Ned and MJ's. Some were saying things you couldn't quite hear, insults here and there, one civilian even asking you if you were going to have Peter's, "spider babies". You shivered at the thought.

Thankfully, a lady who guided you through the crowd, had made sure no one got too close to you or your friends.

"You know he's a murderer right?

"Peter. Do a TikTok with me."

"Mysterio forever!"

"Do a flip!"

Was all you heard as you walked by, your gaze worriedly going to Peter's who face was pinched with cringe, his strong urge to ignore the words being thrown at him.

When the four of you had finally arrive at the threshold of the front doors of Midtown, there was a few security guards waiting at the door, one with a body scanner.

The one with the body scanner, scans Peter, who after he was done attempted to wait for you and your friends, but obviously they wouldn't let him, and your face is evident in defeat.

"I'll see you inside, okay?" Peter reassures as a security guard body scans you, you give him a weak nod.

Soon after, MJ, and Ned get scanned as well, you waited inside the building patiently.

One of the front doors open, revealing MJ, who quickly goes over to hug you, her curly hair in a down do hairstyle, different from her common one you were so used to.

You quickly hug her back, embracing each-other for awhile before pulling back.

"You okay?" You ask her, she nods in response.

"Yeah, where's Peter?" She questioned.

"Class probably." You answer unsurely.

To be fair, you really had no idea where your boyfriend had went. You figured he'd be in class anyway, but not without going through expecting students that most likely lingered in the hallway.

It was your senior year you realize, this was supposed to be it. Instead you were doing everything but beaming with happiness as your final year finally rolled around.

"'S fine, we have him next period." She says, linking her arm with yours as the two of you wait for Ned.

You had no first period class with the two of them, but you decided on earlier in the car you all would walk each-other to your classes, but since the plan backfired, you just had to make do with what you got.

Ned arrives shortly, asking the both of you if you were okay, and you two tell him you were before dreadfully making your way to class.

When lunch finally came, Peter finds his way to you somehow through the expecting large crowds of people who lingered to gaze at him, some amazed that an actual superhero was attending their very school. 

The boy had pleaded for the two of you to go someplace quiet, anywhere away from the pestering students inhabiting the school, it didn't take much convincing on your end.

Peter had taken you to the roof of the school, a place you knew was probably the most quietest the two of you had been to in what felt like forever.

"Can we just stay up here all day?" Peter asked from above you, you reading through a newspaper you had found on your way to school.

You two had been up here for five minutes, you resting your head in his lap as he relaxed above you, staring off thinking about only god knows what.

"It is so crazy down there." He tells you, and you hum in agreement, something in the newspaper article catching your eye, almost making you laugh out loud.

"Wait, 's one's good." You say with a small chuckle.

"Some suggest that Parker's power include male spider's ability to hypnotize females," You share with a more bigger chuckle, and from the corner of your eye you see Peter's face fall in disbelief. "Which he used to seduce Jones-Watson into his cult of personality." You finish in amusement, hearing Peter let out a groan.

"Oh, Come on. Stop, stop." He pleaded, and you mischievously smirk.

"Yes my spider king." You mock teasingly.

Peter shoots you a glare from above as you break out into a giggle, the boy soon chuckling as well.

Once the both of you stop your chortling, you sit up from where you rested in his lap, placing the newspaper next to your backpack, gazing at Peter who was already looking at you.

You notice the boy's stare shift from your eyes, trailing to your lips, and you can't help but do the same. Peter smoothly places one of his hands on your cheek, the warmth of it burning against your fair skin.

You already knew where this was going, you had been touched deprived from him for way too long, and you were finally happy the two of you got the alone time you deserved.

You close your eyes just as Peter does the same, both of you leaning in, your lips just inches away, you could feel his breath so close to yours, going in for what you needed most.

"Finally some privacy." Ned bursts through the exit door of the roof, MJ trailing behind him with her bag half on her shoulder.

You and Peter slowly pull away, the boy's hand falling from your face and you give him a sheepish look with a shrug, your eyes watching the two come sit across from you and Peter.

"It is so crazy down there." Ned says, shrugging off his backpack and you just nod in agreement as MJ looked in-between you and Peter.

"What were you two losers doing?" MJ questioned knowingly, narrowing her eyes.

"Nothing."

"Talking."

You give Peter a look, which only made MJ grow more in suspicion at what you were really up to.

Truth was, you were doing nothing, the only thing about to be done didn't happen, and you were talking at first, so not much of that was really a lie.

But thankfully your sister decides not to harass the two of you anymore, pulling out a book from her backpack, blocking the three of you out for the mean time.

"So, I was thinking.." Ned trails off, grabbing his backpack and unzipping the bag to dig through it.

"When we get into MIT, we should live together." The boy suggested as he pulled out his school laptop.

You smile at his words, nodding in agreement as did Peter.

"Yeah, for sure." The spider boy verbally agrees.

"Yeah, love that." MJ deadpans.

You ignore her, focusing your attention on the laptop that Ned had pulled out, showing the front page of MIT.

MJ looks up in curiosity, glancing at the laptop that was held on display for the three of you.

"This is gonna be us." Ned smiles.

"Sure." You say, whole heartedly agreeing with him.

"Minus the Frisbee and the smiling." MJ added, her face cringing at the mere image.

"MIT's obviously the dream, but if we match our backup schools, then either way we'll be in Boston." Peter countered with hope laced in his tone.

"New school, new town. I can Spider-Man there." The boy suggested, getting approving nods from MJ and Ned, turning his gaze to you and you shrug.

"They have crime in Boston, right?" Peter asked you absentmindly, you once again shrug, giving a verbal answer as well.

"Totally."

"Wicked crime" Ned adds in.

"It'll be like a fresh start." Peter states, still expectingly gazing upon you.

You reluctantly nod, sparing a glance at MJ, who's face fell from her grimace to a much more dreaded look.

Peter noticed the lack of the both of your hopeful faces, furrowing his eyebrows in wonder.

"What's up?" Peter questioned, darting his eyes in-between the two of you.

You told MJ about your doubts of the two of you getting to the same school, well not just the two of you, all of you, really. You never had a single doubt before, but now that the knowledge of Peter's secret identity was revealed, you feared that with you knowing him your chances would decrease.

You just wanted all of you to be in the same place at all times, safe and happy. It was easier said than done unfortunately.

"Nothing, it's just..." You trail off, not knowing how to word what you were feeling.

"If you expect disappointment, then you can never really get disappointed." You hear your sister say, the three of you turning your heads to look at the girl.

You nod at her words. It was something she would rarely say, this being the first time she shared her words to anyone in a long time.

"No, hey, come on." Peter says, taking a hold of your hand, before looking back at MJ.

"Be a fresh start, and we'll all be together." Peter reassured, his hold of your hand only tightening, showing you a reassuring smile.

There was something that lingered inside you at his words, you couldn't pinpoint it but you figured you best drop the uneasy feeling still stirring in your gut, giving your boyfriend a nod in agreement.

"Yeah, fresh start." You mutter, giving him a weak smile.

"Fresh start." Ned also says, placing his hand on top of yours and Peter's and when MJ didn't, the boy's other hand dragged her free one on top of his.

You had only hoped Peter's words were right. You couldn't bare another disappointment ensuing. 

[blackbirdie1234]

The Strange Encounter

Paring: Embry Call x Reader!

Here is the link to part 2.

This is my first time writing a fan fic. If you guys like it let me know! I'm going to post part 2 very soon! Hope you enjoy :)

No warnings

Summary: You recently moved back to Forks after not being in the town since you were eight. When your old friend Jacob Black asks you to come to a party down at La Push you accept. What's the worst that could happen?

It was a calm and cool fall day in Forks. You are helping your mom at the bookstore she owns. As you stock the shelves you look out the window and see a group of guys around your age walking. You recognize one of the faces "Oh my god, Mom is that Jacob Black?" you ask in shock. Your Mom comes over to you with a confused look on her face "Oh wow, yes it is honey" Your mom pauses for a moment and smiles "Well hasn't he grown" You look at her, she has a smug smile on her face "I almost didn't recognize him, he chopped all his hair off" you point out. "why don't you go out and say hello" your mom says with a grin. "I haven't seen him since I was 8 mom, he probably doesn't even recognize me, and take that smile off your face he definitely is not my type," you say as you both laugh, your mom walks away as you continue to stare out the window for a moment noticing a cute boy standing next to Jacob. You used to live in Forks when you were young and just recently moved back but you didn't have many friends besides Jacob, so you still consider yourself the new girl in town.

As you finish cleaning up the store you look down at your watch 6:00pm. "Oh shit, I gotta get going," you say to yourself. You grab your bag and your keys and lock up the store. From the distance you can hear a group of people laughing and talking loudly, you look up and see Jacob and his friends walking down the street coming towards you. You turn and start walking to your car not wanting to run into them, you aren't sure if Jacob remembers you and you can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing yet. As you are walking you hear your name being called 'Y/N?" you hear from behind you "shit" you think to yourself. You slowly turn around and see Jacob running up to you he has a big smile on his face and his thoughts are confirmed when you turn around "I knew it! I saw your mom coming out of the bookstore earlier and recognized her immediately, when did you get back in town?" he says with the smile still on his face you can see his friends in the distance talking amongst themselves, "Jacob, wow so good to see you" you say with an awkward smile "We moved back about a week ago, I figured your dad would have told you I'm pretty sure my dad and yours caught up a few days ago" you say with a bit of confusion "Yeah my dad and I haven't been talking much recently" Jacob says making the mood shift " Anyways your mom opened up a bookstore, that's so cool" He says obviously trying to change the topic "Yeah its always been a dream of hers so it's pretty nice we finally get to do it" you say smiling "Thats great, I'm really glad your back in town, hey my friends and I are planning on going down to La Push to have a bonfire, do you want to come? Maybe we can catch up?" he says looking at you eagerly. you hesitate for a moment thinking it over "Uh, yeah sure that sounds like fun" you say with a small smile "Great, come at any time we're heading out there in an hour" He says excitedly "Okay, I'll see you there" you say turning around and getting in your car not noticing the eyes on you as you drove away.

You're in your room getting ready, it's a chilly night so you throw on some jeans and a long-sleeved shirt with a zip-up jacket. After you finish getting ready you grab your keys and hop in your car. When you arrive at La Push you see the big fire in the sand and tons of people surrounding it. "Woah, I didn't think it would be that many people" you mumble to yourself, regretting saying yes. You get out of your car and see Jacob approaching "Hey! Glad you could make it, follow me" he says and you start walking together. He introduces you to a few people and you start talking with a guy named Quil, as you guys are talking another guy comes up to you. You realize it is the guy you saw earlier, as you make eye contact his face goes from smiling to completely awestruck. You stand there confused as he just stares at you for a moment before excusing himself and basically speed-walking to the house away from everyone. You turn and look at Quil confused "What's his problem" you ask genuinely Quil looks at you and tells you he will be right back before turning and walking to the house. You look around and lock eyes with Jacob, he walks over "What happened?" he asks me confused "I don't know, Quil and I were talking and then one of your friends walked up not even saying anything, and then ran to the house" a look of understanding crosses Jacobs face " I will be right back I promise" it seems like hours but it's more like a few minutes of sitting on one of the rocks watching the fire burn as everyone else is drinking and having a good time. You were about to stand and leave when Jacob came up to you "Hey, I'm sorry about that. He's just a little drunk don't worry about it. Everything is all good" Jacob says but you can tell something is off. Jacob still has the same lying face as he did when you were eight so you aren't easily convinced but decide to let it go. You and Jacob sit in awkward silence for a while until Quil comes back. "Hey, what are you guys talking about" Quil says in a much too cheery mood considering what just happened, "Nothing much, we're just enjoying the scenery" Jacob responds obviously trying to make it seem as though this isn't the weirdest interaction in the world. Out of the corner of your eye, you see someone walking up to you and turn your head, it is the same guy. "Hey guys" the man speaks to Jacob and Quil seeming perfectly fine now, with not even a hint of awkwardness, again acting like nothing happened. Suddenly, he turned to face you "I'm sorry about earlier, I don't know what got into me," he said a bit shy " I'm Embry, what's your name?" there was a spark in his eye as he spoke to you, like he already knew the answer, like he knew everything about you, like it was his life mission just to speak to you. "Don't worry about it, it happens," you say politely "My name is Y/N" his eyes perk up a bit at that. You don't know who he is and why he's acting so strangely but damn is he hot. Without your knowledge, Quil and Jacob left as you and Embry were talking. Now you were stuck, not that you minded having to talk to Embry, but something about him seemed off. "So I heard you just moved back here from (insert city/state name)?" Embry questioned "Yeah, My mom got her own bookstore and my dad got a new job that allows him to work from home so we decided to come back," you say as both of you start walking to a more secluded area of the beach "Are you happy to be back?" he says with a bit of hesitation, he's not trying to push any boundaries, it seems like he genuinely wants to get to know you "Yeah I'm pretty happy about it, I've always loved cold and rainy weather," you say making Embry laugh a bit "What?" you say looking at him with suspicion but a hint of amusement on your face "Nothing, nothing it's just not every day you hear someone actually enjoying that type of weather, it's my favorite too" he says blushing a bit as we come to a stop near the ocean. We've walked pretty far and we can only see the smoke from the fire rising above the rocks. "Y/N I need to tell you something," Embry says nervously.

[aurumacadicus]

Y'all I'm sorry this post was not finished here is the end 😭

--

Tony doesn't know what to do. He'd thought his breakup letter was lost forever, not just misplaced to send later. He doesn't want to break up with Steve anymore. But apparently he doesn't have a choice in the matter anymore. Steve had finally read his first letter, his intent to break up on his first month deployed. How cowardly he'd been, saying goodbye in a letter instead of face-to-face. How bad a friend he was, when Steve knew how Tony had promised to never send one specifically because of how much Rhodey had been hurt in the past.

He shoves it into the couch cushions and stands, backing away from it as if the couch might attack him. Then he goes to grab it, to put it in the trash. Then he backs off again, too scared to see those big, blocky letters blaring at him like he's Hester Prynne or something. Maybe he can call Pepper to dispose of it. Except she's in France right now. She won't be back for a week. He rocks back on his heels, feeling jittery and sick.

It can wait for a week, he decides, backing away.

But he's too ashamed to tell Pepper about it when she comes back, and he's too ashamed to tell her that he's been dumped. She'd probably ask if it wasn't what he'd wanted all along. And maybe he did, because he was scared, because he couldn't believe that Steve was different from every other person he'd dated, but he doesn't want to be dumped now. Now that he's written and received hundreds of letters, has fallen even more in love with Steve, had hopefully given Steve some reason to love back--

He deserves this, Tony thinks, hurt fading into a hollow in his chest, until he just feels numb. What was it Steve had joked? He was his own tragedy. That had been in response to him getting an ice-cream and then immediately dripping it down his silk shirt, but apparently Steve had had him pegged from the beginning: All of his unhappiness has been because of his choices. And this was just the unhappiness from his stupid Dear John letter finally coming back to bite him in the ass. So he puts all the letters he's kept in a box, hands it to Dum-E, and tells him to incinerate them.

If Pepper notices that Tony's not picking through his mail anymore, she doesn't say anything, and Tony puts it out of his mind. This was always the conclusion with his letter, he reminds himself. Just because it took a little longer to reach this point, it was always coming.

"What's this?" Rhodey asks a month later, digging the envelope out from under the cushions after the corner pokes at his hip. Tony tries to snatch it from his hand, but Rhodey bats him away, looking it over. "Dear John," he says a moment later, raising an eyebrow. He looks up at Tony. "Did you label this yourself?"

He looks so bewildered that Tony just lets it spill out, even though he's certain that Rhodey will hate him for it. How he'd sent Steve the breakup letter, but it hadn't gotten to him, and he was too cowardly to send another, and how he'd fallen even more in love with Steve and was getting over his trust issues and was looking forward to Steve coming home so he could tell him about his stupid letter and how glad he was that it never made it to him and he was so certain Steve would laugh about it and--

"Oh boy," Rhodey sighs, pulling him down into a hug as Tony blubbers about how sorry he is that he ever found out his friend was a hypocritical coward who did the one thing he promised to never do. "Tony, that was ten fucking years ago. We were young. I don't blame her. And I don't blame you."

It takes a weight off his shoulders, even if the ache of losing Steve still sits heavy in his chest. Once Rhodey is gone, Tony hands the letter off to Dum-E, telling him to put it with the others. He's healing, he thinks, as Dum-E does a spin before zooming away with the envelope in his claw.

So of course Steve arrives on his doorstep two weeks later, crutches under each arm and a bandage over his right eye. Tony gapes up at him, stunned.

"Sweetheart," Steve breathes, hopping closer. "You stopped sending me letters."

Tony steps backward. "You," he finally manages to sputter. "You sent it back. Returned to sender. I. I didn't know you could do that."

Steve squints at him, brows furrowing together. "It's... the mail? Of course I--but I didn't? I've been in a coma. For the last three months."

Tony reaches up to cup his cheek and stops when he remembers he doesn't get to do that anymore, fingers curling back toward his palm as he draws his hand back. "Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? Can I get you anything? I can--I can pay for a specialist if you need--"

"Tony," Steve cuts in, gently but firmly. He reaches out to grab Tony's arm, pulling it so his hand is back up, and he leans his cheek against Tony's palm. "I got your letter."

Tony stares up at him, unable to comprehend. "You... got lots of letters."

"You tried to break up with me, but Colonel Rhodes warned me that might happen, so I ignored it, and just wrote to you like I normally would. I figured, if you meant it, you'd send another, and if you didn't, you'd be too awkward to say anything," Steve says, smiling. He's missing a tooth, Tony notices vaguely. "And it worked! You kept writing me back."

"What the fuck kind of convoluted logic," Tony chokes out, but he finds he can't quite bite back a slightly bewildered smile, either.

"And then I got got," Steve sighs, his own smile fading. "Grenade. Had to put me in a coma to heal right. And one of the guys found your Dear John letter when he was grabbing something for me and decided to send your last letter back. He thought he was helping me I guess." He looks down for a second, then back up, smile back in place. "But! I'm here now. I'm on medical leave!"

Tony blinks at him slowly. "...Steve," he says after a moment. "Are you supposed to have a chaperone right now?"

Steve sways forward. "Tony, I'm going to be real honest with you," he whispers. "I am still on so many painkillers. I took Bucky out at the knees with my crutch and booked it."

"...Steve, you are in a lot of trouble," Tony tells him gently, then lifts his other hand, cradling Steve's face between them. "I am going to let Bucky yell at you. But! I will hold your hand while it happens."

"Well," Steve sighs. "As long as you hold my hand." Then he brightens again. "I had Dum-E store my letters for you. I knew you'd try to get rid of them. That deserves a kiss, right?"

"...How long did you plan this out?" Tony asks, frowning at him.

"Colonel Rhodes was very explicit about what would happen. I'm better than all your previous partners," Steve tells him proudly. "I! Am going to marry you someday. Also! Don't worry! I know I am not better than Pepper."

"What?" Tony asks, but then Steve is pressing in, peppering his face with sweet kisses. "Steve. Wait. Wait a minute. I have to--"

"We have maybe ten minutes until Bucky gets here and beats me to death please let me love on you," Steve whines, and Tony doesn't have the heart (and is still too confused) to tell him no.

[sseastar]

✶ tingly feeling ; lee heeseung.

info. fluff ; lee heeseung x gn!reader warnings. physical touch / cuddling. listen to. it takes two by fiji blue.

[✧] “see, this is nice, isn’t it?” a muffled voice says against the skin of your neck. it’s funny how much you’ve become used to the feeling of his lips grazing over your skin. you could barely look at him early into your relationship and you think you’ve come a long way. especially since your boyfriend could have anyone in the palm of his hand just by smiling. or those damn eyes.

“i suppose,” you tease, taking your hand to run your fingers through the locks of your boyfriend’s hair, his head tucked at the crook of your neck and his body half draped over yours. his arms tighten around your torso as he presses a soft kiss on a spot on your neck, and you giggle. a little under a year ago, you would’ve slapped yourself for giggling, reprimanding yourself for letting a man make you giggle. but lee heeseung always had that effect on people anyway, and you were no different.

well, except for the fact that you were the one he chose to love. and frankly, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“what do you mean you suppose? i know you���re comfortable right now,” heeseung lifts his head from where it rests against your neck and shoulder, lightly tapping his forehead onto your cheek. you only laugh, tightening your hold around the boy that lays halfway on top of you, patting both of your hands against his back and shoulder and pressing a kiss onto the top of his head.

against the sound of your oscillating towering fan in the corner, you can hear the morning birds chirping outside the window you decided to leave open the night before in hopes to cool down the stuffy summer air. the chirping was what woke heeseung up from his slumber next to you as you finished up one of your assignments before turning it in. as soon as he watched you click the bright blue ‘submit’ button and the webpage celebrated with animated confetti, he was shutting your laptop and forcing you back down onto the pillow. ‘this is your punishment for not letting me wake up in your arms.’ you only rolled your eyes at him, but allowed him to take up his rightful place over your body.

“no, yeah, you’re right, i’m enjoying this because you’re being a big baby right now.”

“hey!” he huffs, and his grip on you loosens as he props himself up to interrogate you. you don’t think you it’s possible to not get flustered by the way he hovers over your frame. even if he’s whining right now. so, you yank on his shirt again and he gives in, returning to the position he had been in. “what do you mean ‘big baby?”

“i’m saying you need to be cuddled as much as i do and that i’m glad i’m the only one that gets to see your clingy, cute side under your whole…husband material…apparatus.”

“oh, you think i’m husband material?” heeseung raises his head from your chest again to quirk an eyebrow at you and you take your hand to push his face back down to its original spot.

“hee, you already know i do, you dork,” you pout, and he only laughs against your neck, only for you to join him when you realize how content you are right now. content in this moment, in this place, in his arms.

no matter how asleep your leg is.

⌕. author’s note ; ayo guess who's back! it's been so long sinc i last posted, and this is so so short but i currently am in finals week and just need a break so i wanted to post something here! i'm still very much working on my wips rn but i keep losing motivation and getting inspo at the worst times (like i said i have finals this and next week) so thanks everyone for the patience! i'm obviously not a consistent writer just because my personal life doesn't allow for it, but posting stuff every once in a while is just something i want to continue to do because i don't want my writing to just be stuck in my google drive! anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this very very short thing that i ended up posting as a blurb because i couldn't find a good wip to put it into lol <3

⌕. taglist ; @soobin-chois @koishua @iwonzzi @enhacolor @chrysbibi @acaiasahi

[hayakawalove]

Innocence Lost (Chapter One)

All Chapters

Summary: After a messy situationship, you and a friend decide to start fresh with a girls night. You meet a mysterious man at the bar who instantly charms you. Toru Oikawa. After an unforgettable night, you find yourself falling for him, without knowing who he really is.

A/N: I'm so excited for this fic! I wanted to try a new way of writing, and it turned out way better than I was expecting. I've never written anything like this, so please be patient with me. I really hope you enjoy! I would love to know how you're feeling after you read it!

CW: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Humiliation, Brief Mention of Cheating (not between Oikawa and Reader), Assassin AU, Post Time Skip, Female Reader, AFAB Reader W/C: 12,408

Credit to cafekitsune for the banner

The smell from the dinner you made is permeating in the house, while your nails tap the glossy wood on your kitchen table. You were getting impatient. Of course he was late again. It shouldn’t shock you, and it didn’t, not really anyway. This was the third time this week that he came home later than expected. He promised you he would be home two hours ago. You try to tell yourself that it isn’t a big deal, but that makes it hurt even more somehow. 

Why does it even hurt? It’s not like he belongs to you in the first place. 

All he is is your best friend and roommate, nothing more. Even if the two of you have crossed the line together multiple times. 

The lock from the front door clicks, and you suppress a shudder. You can hear his fingers grab the door handle before easing it open, as if he could maybe sneak by you if he tried hard enough. It was a little bit insulting, if you were being honest with yourself. You were tired of a lot of things, you were tired of waiting up for him even though part of you knew he wouldn’t show, you were tired of acting like everything was fine, but above all else you were tired of being made out to be stupid. 

Your best friend carefully tiptoes through the threshold of your front door, his teeth tightly clenched as he attempts to be as quiet as a mouse. He slips his shoes off one at a time, nudging the priceless black John Knobbs to the side, next to your much less expensive naturalizer flats. His keys are clenched tightly in his fist, preventing the metal from clanging against each other. You can hear the sound of fabric rustling as he shrugs off his black jacket, placing it on the corner of the couch before he makes his way further inside. 

You, the ever observant tabby, lift your chin up as you prepare for an argument. 

“Welcome home, I’m glad you could finally join me.” You say, venom laced in your words hinting at the fact you weren’t really glad. 

You play the part of a spiteful girlfriend, even though you aren’t even at that status yet. 

“Oh- uh, hey.” He looks startled as he glances around, gaze flicking back and forth between you and the dinner that was much too cold now. 

It’s awkward. An uncomfortable silence settles over the two of you. Who would break it first? The expression on his face shows that he knows he’s been caught, he knows he’s in trouble. Disappointment laces your features as you keep your eyes trained on him. 

“It’s late, Atsumu.” 

“Uh- yeah, sorry I got caught up at the office again.”

You look down and notice the first button on his shirt is undone, and there’s a smear of what looks like red lipstick stained on his collar. You don’t wear red lipstick. 

“You smell like alcohol.” 

And he did. There was a distinct smell floating over to you now that he was only a couple of feet away. Your eyes were beginning to water, and you were unsure if it was due to the pungent scent or for some other reason. 

“Some of the guys brought some drinks while we finished up.” 

You almost appreciate the persistence of his lies, if it didn’t make you so furious. You hum and turn your head back towards the spread of food in front of you. Steak, green beans, and noodles that were once appetizing were now cold to the touch. It was making your stomach sour. The meal had taken you hours to make, you were excited to share it with him. Maybe you were a fool. 

Atsumu shuffles in his spot, you can tell he wants a way out of the situation. It wasn’t always like this. This is a new development. The two of you had been best friends since childhood. You were such good friends that you decided to move in together during adulthood. You knew each other more than the back of your hands. Over the past year, the lines blurred. It’s hard to remember who even made the first move. It was probably him, but it could have just as easily been you. Once it started, it was impossible to stop. The two of you were so intertwined that it was almost inevitable. The only issue is that you weren’t ‘official’. No matter how much it felt like you were. You aren’t even sure why you weren’t. Maybe it was a carefully concocted plan on his side. If he wasn’t official with you, he could still see other girls. Even if it felt like you were special. 

And what’s worse, he treated you like a girlfriend. He was kind, bought you gifts, made you laugh. You couldn’t pinpoint when things became ugly. When he became unhappy with your arrangement. Somewhere along the way he stopped calling you beautiful, stopped holding you at night, stopped caring. 

You dig your teeth in your lip as you stare at the plate. Your eyes are watering even more now, your sight nearly blind due to the salt water that dripped from your lids. Atsumu slides closer until he sits across from you, his hands clasped on the table in front of him. All he does is watch, watch as you fall apart in front of him. 

It doesn’t make sense. He wasn’t betraying you. There was never a promise to break in the first place. Yet still, you feel the sharp tip of a blade stab your heart. 

The old Atsumu could’ve never done this. He would’ve never hurt you in this way, you’re positive. The old Atsumu hated to see you cry. It broke his heart. His warm arms would envelop your body and he’d apologize, apologize until his throat was sore, not that it was ever his fault in the first place. The new Atsumu just sat across from you, watching as tears poured down your face. You wonder if he feels bad. Part of you hoped he would. 

Why did he string you along, make you feel as though you belonged to him? Like he belonged to you? Was it for the sex? You would have liked to believe he wasn’t so shallow, but you aren’t so sure anymore. 

You remain quiet, refusing to make any noise in case it might show how actually hurt you are. Salt water slides down your cheeks, and you can taste the remnants of it on your lips. It tastes like betrayal. 

How could he do this to you? 

Did you cause it?

He was supposed to be your best friend. How could he hurt you like this? 

Should your little arrangement never have started in the first place? Maybe your other friends were right when they told you not to stir the pot of your relationship. 

All at once insecurity grabs ahold of you, its deep claws sinking into your tender flesh. It reminds you of all the times you could’ve been better, of all the times you might have done something wrong. You peer up at him with wide eyes, hoping for some comfort, because even now you still look towards him for love. 

Atsumu has a blank stare on his face. No longer awkward, as if he’s accepted his fate. Maybe he’s relieved that he won’t have to keep lying. He looks into your eyes, and you almost wish he would have looked away in shame. His eyes are hollow. How could a gaze that used to be filled with so much love turn into something so heartless? 

“What even are we?” Your voice is shaky as it comes out. 

You don't know the answer to that. Best friends, sure, but you’re more than that. Best friends don’t know how each other's skin feels at night. 

“Friends.” 

How could such a beautiful word cause so much pain? 

“Atsumu.” You begin. 

He licks his lips and looks away. 

“You know that’s not true.” You murmur. 

“We aren’t dating.” 

“We may as well be!” You argue. “What am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to feel?” 

What an ugly mess. 

“I don’t belong to you.” 

His answer is resolute, as if he’s been thinking it this entire time. It hurts because it’s true. A strangled sob racks your body and you shift your hands beneath the table to claw at your legs. Your nails dig into the fabric of your pants, desperate for something to ground you. Was he really doing this to you? 

If you knew this is how it would end, you wouldn’t have gotten tangled up with him in the first place. Maybe it really was your fault. 

“Atsumu,” you begin, unsure what you were even going to say next. 

He finally looks away from you before standing up, shoving the chair back. He had the audacity to look slightly angry. Why? Why was he angry? What did you do to him? Atsumu steps away from the table to unbutton his shirt while walking towards his bedroom. The same one you’ve shared countless nights together in. 

That’s it then. The conversation was over. 

You feel safe enough now in his absence to finally start crying, echoes of your despair rattling throughout the apartment. You feel awful, and you feel awful for even feeling awful. He’s been treating you like shit for a long time now, you know that, but you can’t help but to cling to the past; memories of your old love plaguing your mind. 

You sob until your body becomes sore. Your throat is hoarse and your eyes burn. There’s no energy in your body to do anything else. You pull yourself up to your feet, and will yourself to walk to your bedroom. You hadn’t slept in there in ages. The food would just have to wait until tomorrow. You can’t fathom the idea of trying to put it away now. 

The bed is cold and empty when you flop onto it. Atsumu isn’t laying beside you, the bed feeling larger than it ever had before. Your bedroom door is open and you can see light leaking through the hallway from his room, you think Atsumu must be in there doing something. You don’t know what. 

Even now, under the safety of your covers you’re reminded of him. The sweater you wore was his. His cologne clings to the clothing like a sick reminder. You wonder how long it will stick. 

When you wake up in the morning Atsumu isn’t beside you. Why would he be? Last night felt like a dream, some kind of nightmare. You know it wasn’t though, because the two of you didn’t sleep next to each other. He slept in his bed (if he stayed here at all), and you slept in yours, just like how you did before this whole thing started. You feel like your body is full of lead as you sit up, your cheeks sticky from all the crying you did. Your eyes are puffy, you don’t even have to look in a mirror to know that. All you want to do is rot away in bed. But you can’t. Not when there’s a table full of spoiled food waiting for you. 

The process of cleaning the kitchen up takes longer than it normally would have, if not for your mental state. It’s sad how you have to force yourself to move, force yourself to be productive. As soon as you finish, you notice a notification on your phone. Not from Atsumu. 

Ikumi: Hey, free tonight? Wanna party?

You bite your cheek and slowly type out a quick response. 

You: you were right about Atsumu 

Ikumi has been your friend for almost two decades. Even longer than you and Atsumu had been friends. She’s been with you through thick and thin. You tended to be a bit more reserved, but she was the opposite. Carefree and happy. You wish you were more like her, maybe then Atsumu wouldn’t have strung you along. 

Ikumi: what?! I’m coming over

You: please don’t 

The mere thought of seeing another person made your head hurt. All you wanted to do was curl up in a ball. Ikumi never liked Atsumu, so you were unsure how effective her comforting words would be. 

Your screen lights up with an incoming call and you can’t even pretend to act surprised. Of course she was going to call. You take a long deep breath and click the green answer button before turning her on speaker. 

To her credit, she listens patiently the entire time. There are no ‘I knew it’s, or ‘I told you he was bad for you’s. Just quiet humming as she lets you get it all out. After you’re done telling her everything, all the way from the dinner to the lipstick, you feel a tiny bit better. It felt nice to get it all out, but there still was a pain deep inside your heart. 

She offers to come over but you decline it once more, telling her that you really just want to be left alone. Ikumi doesn’t push the subject and instead tells you to call her if you ever need anything. It feels nice to be loved. 

You don’t know how long you spend alone. Every day has been much of the same, staying in bed as memories flick through your head. Atsumu had left the day after your fight, most likely going to stay with family. You haven’t showered in a week and all you’ve had to eat were frozen things. You were running low on supplies, but you dreaded the idea of having to go in public. 

Ikumi has given you space, which you were grateful for. Although now you’re starting to desire human connection, but you aren’t even sure what you want. Maybe she could come over and the two of you could just watch something? 

Just as you begin to ponder, you get an incoming call from the woman herself. 

“How are you feeling?” She asks, concern in her voice. 

“Still like shit.” You respond, because it's the truth. 

“I know what you need. We need to go out for the night, what do you think?” 

You internally groan and cover your eyes with your arm. Being in public sounded awful right now. You couldn’t stand to be around judgy eyes and strangers. 

“I don’t know Ikumi-“ 

“No, no! Come on, it’ll be fun. We haven’t been out in such a long time, it’ll just be you and me.” 

Well, she wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

You wander to your closet with her still on speaker in your right hand. As you look between your clothes, you feel your stomach tug. The last time you changed was right after the fight with Atsumu. God, you were a mess. 

“Just wear something sexy, I’ll come pick you up in two hours, okay?” 

Would that even be enough time to clean yourself up? It would have to be. Ikumi would drag your ass out even if you weren’t ready. You mutter a ‘goodbye’ before hanging up, tossing your phone on your bed to begin flipping through your clothes. You hadn’t dressed up in a long time. There were several dresses in the back of your closet, you were unsure if they would even fit. You let each individual clothing piece slip through your hands as you push each item to the side. You land on your favorite black dress from years back when. The fabric feels foreign beneath your fingertips. You tug it out and hold it in front of you, your eyes trailing down the outfit. It was sexy. 

One long shower later and you almost feel refreshed. The scalding water washed away some of your pain. You look like a completely different person when you step out. Your makeup and hair take just as long as your shower did (45 minutes). It’s hard to figure out what to settle for, so you just pick something simple. You leave your hair down and decide on a natural look for makeup. To your surprise, your dress still fits. It’s a bit tighter than you remember it being, but then again maybe it was supposed to be like that. It did make your boobs and ass look great. 

It’s a simple black dress, stopping mid thigh to show off your legs. You feel a bit exposed in the outfit, but the longer you look the more it builds your confidence. You had felt self conscious this past week for obvious reasons, but your shoulders were starting to feel lighter now that you were taking another look at yourself. 

Ikumi calls when she pulls up to your apartment. There’s a mixture of fear and anticipation crawling inside your stomach, fighting over each other. You were going to have a good night, you tell yourself. You don’t know if you believe it or not. 

Ikumi’s car is nice. There are expensive leather seats and an air freshener between her vents making the car smell like lilacs. It fits her. The outside was jet black, but the second you stepped into the car you were greeted with heaps of pink. The splash of color makes you feel just a tiny bit better. Ikumi sends a quick glance your way to acknowledge your presence, with a soft smile on her lips. She’s treading lightly, you can tell. She knows things aren’t completely back to normal yet, so she doesn’t want to push too much. 

“You look wonderful.” She says. 

“So do you.”

Ikumi is wearing a skin tight dress, purple fabric covering her figure. Her cleavage was out, so much so you feel a bit bad for staring. Her long brown hair is curled, hugging her shoulders as she waits for you to buckle up. 

The ride to the bar was nice. Ikumi rolled down her windows to let in the fresh air, and the feeling of it whipping your face left you feeling renewed. Lights from the city flash by, brightening up the entire car. There’s pop music playing on her radio, the vocals relaxing you.

The second she slows the car down, you know you’ve arrived. It’s a bar you’ve frequented more than several times before, often enough that you know the bartender by name. Saeko. A brazen woman with a boisterous laugh. Ikumi parks the car and you’re left to prepare yourself before entering the building. She looks towards you and asks if you’re ready, which you aren’t entirely sure you are. But there’s no time like the present. You reach for the door handle and force yourself up, standing to your feet as you shut the door behind you. It looks busy inside and you’re happy about that. 

The interior of the bar is dark, as expected for similar establishments. The floor is black granite, along with each table top. The sparkles from the floor reflect from the dim lights above, making it look like you’re walking on diamonds. Saeko’s working tonight, and she can be seen behind the bar chatting with a customer. When she catches sight of the two of you out of the corner of her eye, her face animates.

You can tell that she’s shooing the other customer away in order to make room for you. Ikumi walks ahead of you, sliding onto one of the bar stools. You glide into the seat beside her, and let her do the talking. 

“Hey Saeko, how are things tonight?” Ikumi starts the conversation off while Saeko begins to make your usuals. 

You let their conversation fall to the background. It’s easy to zone out here, the lull of the music putting you in a trance as you look around. You see new faces and faces you’ve seen countless times before. Most of the patrons were regulars, including you. You weren’t even sure how that came to be. It didn’t feel like you fit in at this high end bar. The two of you just happened upon it years ago, and it quickly became your favorite. 

Saeko slides over your glass with a meager grin. Ikumi must have told her what was going on. You take a sip, noting that Saeko poured with a heavy hand tonight, before facing the two women. 

“So… did you want to talk about it?” Ikumi pries, her chestnut eyes flicking over to you as she drags a manicured nail around the rim of her glass. 

You really didn’t want to, but you know you should. 

“There’s nothing to talk about. We slept together a couple times. We weren’t ever official,” you feel your voice get smaller as you stare at the counter. Your eyes water with the memory. You remember the sleepless nights the two of you would share together where he would hold you tight, acting like he would never let you go. Promises floating from his lips that you were special to him. 

It all only started a year ago, but you’ve felt this way much longer than that. You may have even loved him. You thought he felt the same. 

The two women are listening intently, eyes never leaving your face. “I just thought I meant more to him. I guess I didn’t though, he was still hooking up with other girls at the same time. I just don’t know why he would’ve treated me like that. Like I mattered, if it was only for sex. He didn’t cheat, but it felt like it.” You force the words out, each syllable tasting like acid on your tongue. 

Situationship from hell.

Ikumi looks downright furious when you look up. Saeko’s face is scrunched up as she hears you recount the details. 

“Men are fucking pigs.” Saeko murmurs. 

You agree there. 

“And like, I know it’s my fault. He was free to do what he wanted. I just wish he was upfront about it.” Your tone is pathetic and you can tell. You throw back the rest of your drink and feel your mind get slightly lighter. 

“No! It’s not your fault at all. It’s his for being a dickwad.” Ikumi downs the rest of her drink, intent on staying at the same pace as you. 

And that’s how the night progresses. You recount each awful thing he’s done over the years, feeling your anger fuel. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol, but it was starting to feel like it was the right choice to end things. 

“And he, he lives with me. I see his shit all over the place. I can’t escape.” You whine, unsure what number you were even on now. 

Ikumi is just as gone as you. Her face is shiny and she leans against her elbow looking at you. You aren’t even sure if she’s still listening, but that doesn’t really matter. 

“You know what you need? You need to dance it off.” Ikumi says, getting off her chair. She’s unsteady on her feet at first, her fingers gripping onto the counter top. 

“What do you mean ‘dance it off’? I don’t feel like going to a c-“ 

“Saeko, turn the music up.” Ikumi grabs hold of your hands and pulls you from your chair. The world spins on its axis as your feet touch the ground. 

Crowds have begun to fill the space. Heat is bouncing off all the bodies next to you. Saeko leans over and turns the speakers up, letting the melody fill the bar. Tove Lo is on, her song “Glad That He’s Gone” filling up the bar. A bit on the nose, but you don’t mind. 

Ikumi turns forward, slapping her hands on the granite. It’s impossible to tell what she’s going to do until you see her jumping up. 

“Are you-“ you begin. 

She manages to sit on top of the counter, swinging her legs over. Ikumi reaches a hand out, and you feel the last remaining bits of apprehension in your system. 

“Come on.” She encourages. 

And that’s all it takes to convince you. 

You grab her hand and jump up on the counter. Saeko is unfazed as she watches you stand up, a tiny smile on her face. The two of you have caught the attention of several onlookers, but instead of feeling embarrassed you just feel empowered. Ikumi begins to dance and your body does too, letting the tune flow through your veins. You felt carefree. And so, so good. Fuck Atsumu. You could have fun without him. 

Your body sways back and forth, your hands dragging up your frame as you dance. You don’t feel fear about falling off the counter, there’s only music. The crowd below you has begun to dance as well, and you let your eyes trail around the room. You see girls dancing, their laughter filling the room. In your periphery you see men sit at tables, their eyes wandering around. 

Your heart is pounding, head swimming. You dance song after song, happiness spreading throughout your system. You were so glad Ikumi convinced you to come out tonight. 

Eventually she had to jump down in order to pee, so you reluctantly hopped down as well. Saeko reaches a hand out in order to help you step down, which you gratefully take. You don’t even notice the heat of a new presence beside you.  

“You’re new here.” A man states. 

You whip your head around to face the voice. A tall man with brown hair is looking down at you, his eyes flicking over your face. 

“I’m not,” you reply, your gaze sliding down his figure. 

He's dressed pretty nicely. A gray button up with black pants. It makes you wonder what he does for a living. There's a multitude of jewelry dotting his outfit from rings to a necklace. 

“I guess I just haven’t seen you before. What brings you out tonight?” He steps a bit closer to you, his cologne instantly filling your nostrils. His demeanor is calm as he waits for a response. 

“Girls night.” It’s a bit hard to know how to talk to a man. You haven’t had to do it in a long time. Not when your eyes have only ever been focused on Atsumu. 

You fall into the stool next to you, your feet pleading for a break. 

“Yeah? I didn’t know dancing on counter tops was a common thing for that.” He must be teasing you, there’s a tiny smile on his face. It fills you with warmth. 

“Yeah, it’s not. I just got my heart broken, so…” Your mouth moves before you can think. It seems like honesty is on the menu for tonight. 

“His loss.” 

You feel your heart stutter at his words. For a moment, it feels like you must’ve misheard him. You peer up at him to look for a sign showing you that he’s joking, but you find yourself empty handed. Instead, he glances down at you with a cocky grin. A shiver runs up your spine and you force yourself to look away again. 

“Can I buy you something to drink?” He asks, sitting next to you. His presence isn’t unwelcome per se, but it does strike you as a bit odd. This man could have anyone tonight, yet he chose you. 

“I've had enough for the night,” you reply, your brain begging for you to slow down.

“Water it is, then.” 

He flags Saeko down before placing an order for a water as well as a whiskey. Saeko's eyes flick over to you before she turns around once more to retrieve the drinks. It’s hard to decipher the look she gave you, but if you had to guess it would be something along the lines of “jump his bones”. 

“My name is Toru, what’s yours?” 

You say your name, missing the smile that spreads on his lips. The water bottle gets passed to you and you gratefully accept it, tossing back a gulp of the liquid. Toru holds the glass of whiskey carefully in his hands, taking measured sips. 

“I know, heard your friend say it.” 

“Why’d you ask then?” 

“Wanted to see if you would tell me,” he jokes. “Wanted to see if you’d be interested in me enough to tell me.” 

When you glance back at him, he’s already looking at you. He wets his bottom lip with his tongue before setting the alcohol down. Heat spreads across your stomach and your heart begins to speed up. You were interested in him. 

“You have your answer then,” you act confident even though that’s the last thing you’re feeling. 

“Where’d your friend run off to, anyway?” 

Good question. Unless she fell into the toilet it shouldn’t be taking her this long. You turn in your seat and look around the building, faces that don’t match Ikumi’s clouding your vision. Desperation crawls up your skin, and you begin to fear that she may have left you here all by yourself. Suddenly, you hear her loud laugh from across the room. You flick your eyes over to her and find her sitting at a table with a man, the two of them looking mighty cozy. As you watch, she places a hand on his chest and leans in to kiss him. Your brows raise as you watch the salacious scene unfold. 

“Oh, guess she found Iwa.” Toru says, following your gaze. 

You look towards Toru, staring at his side profile as he continues to watch them kiss before turning back towards you. 

“You know him?” 

“Yeah, he’s my best friend. Guess they both bailed on us, huh?” 

You let out a chuckle, and his features light up immediately. It’s as if he was waiting for a reaction from you. 

“I think you bailed on him first to come talk to me.” 

“And it was worth it,” he quips, nudging his foot against yours. 

You chuckle softly, nudging your foot back against him. He smiles at that and allows himself to fully relax, letting his shoulders hang as he looks back at you. 

“So how do you know Saeko? I saw you guys talking earlier.” He asks, a hint of curiosity in his tone. 

So he was watching you. The idea that he’s had his eyes on you all night was unbelievable. How did you miss him the entire time? You bite your lip as you feel his gaze burn holes into you. 

“We met here. We always talk whenever Ikumi and I come out. We used to come a lot more but you know…” you let your eyes carefully pick out the details of his face. “Life gets busy.” 

Toru hums at that, leaning against his hand on the counter. There’s a glint in his eyes, shining under the dim light of the bar. He looks like he knows something you aren’t privy to. There’s an air of confidence that seeps from his bones, and you can’t help but find yourself desperate for more. 

“That it does.” He murmurs, glancing down towards your lips before looking away. He tosses a look towards Saeko, who rolls her eyes and smiles. “I’ve known Sae a long time, I was friends with her brother back in the day.” 

“Friends? Yeah, that’s funny. I’ll make sure to tell Ryu you said that.” Saeko laughs, the tone of her voice rich like silk. 

Toru pouts and lifts his drink up, the rim pressed against his mouth. He takes a small sip before setting the glass back down. There’s liquor on his bottom lip, which he slowly licks up with the slide of his tongue. The action draws your attention far too much, and you think he noticed. 

“Fine, we were friendly competitors.” 

Saeko huffs a laugh before grabbing a bottle of wine to fill up a stranger's glass. Competitors? You wonder what he means. You didn’t know much about Saeko’s brother. You knew she had one and that they were similar, but that was about it. She was proud of him and would talk about him sometimes, but it was only surface level stuff. 

“Competitors? In what?” You ask. 

Toru sneaks a look towards Saeko underneath his lashes before darting his eyes away. Her nose twitches and she shrugs, looking unbothered. 

“Oh you know how boys are. Their friend groups would just try to beat each other in everything.” 

“Competition is what makes life fun.” Toru tags in, lifting his glass once more, his pointer finger lifted from the cup and sticking out towards Saeko. 

Your mind drifts back to Atsumu, unfortunately. He was competitive too. Almost too much. You would always try to calm him down when he got too heated. You’d like to think you toned him down over the years, but you’re unsure. 

You wonder what he’s up to right now. You plaster on a grin and softly chuckle, agreeing with the two before looking down at the counter top. Maybe he was having dinner right now. You were always the cook out of you two. Maybe he was ordering in? 

As your thoughts run away from you, you feel the soft graze of finger tips against your shoulder. When you peer up, you see Toru’s worried expression. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” 

Your mind immediately becomes a blank slate, all thoughts of Atsumu vanishing without a trace. Toru’s brown eyes are wide with worry, his lips slightly turned into a frown. That’s right, you were here to enjoy yourself. Screw Atsumu. You didn’t want to dedicate any more time to him than you already had. 

“Yeah. So what do you do for work, Toru?” The second you say his name, his mouth morphs into a smile. The calm and cool demeanor is back, and he relaxes into his seat. 

“Well, I’m a freelancer. I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that,” you’re about to ask what he means but he changes the topic. “What do you do for work?” 

“I’m a student actually, but I’m a waitress too.” 

“Beauty and brains? Lucky me.”

Heat rises to your cheeks and you clear your throat and look away, suddenly flustered. Toru chuckles to himself before leaning in closer to you, his arm wrapped around the back of your chair. His cologne fills your nostrils, the heavy musky scent making your breathing stutter. He must know the effect he has on you, as his lids are low and there’s a cocky smile resting on his face. 

“I, uh. Just brains.” 

“I happen to think you’re very beautiful.” Toru twirls a piece of your hair between two of his fingers. 

You suppress a shudder as you watch your locks fall from his fingers, before dragging your eyes back up to him. It’s hard to breathe around him. His presence is all consuming. 

“Come on, take it outside.” Saeko complains from across the counter. 

You’re snapped out of the daze, turning your head to look towards her. There’s a sly smile on her face as she watches the two of you. You know she’s not mad, not really. 

“Oh come on Sae.” Toru whines. 

“No, plus we’re closing up soon anyway.” Saeko responds. “Last call!” She raises her voice, a series of disappointed sounds filling the bar. 

What time was it? 

You check your phone and note that it’s nearly 1 am. How the hell did that happen? Toru exhales and stands up from his seat, holding a hand out to you. His touch is warm as you accept his offer, your legs easing off the chair beneath you. 

“Wanna go for a walk?” He asks. 

“Sure,” you breathe out. 

But first, you needed to do something. 

Looking around the bar you find Ikumi still wrapped around Iwa. The two have wide grins plastered on their faces, their hands wandering across each other's bodies. You wonder if you should go over there and drag her home instead. It would be the right thing to do. It would be the smart thing to do. 

“She’ll be safe with him, he’s a good guy.” Toru picks up on your hesitation. 

Could you trust him? Saeko did apparently, so that was a good sign. You fix your hair and start off towards Ikumi and Iwa. 

“Hey, are you staying here?” You ask. 

“Yeah! I think I want to hang out with him a little longer.” Ikumi giggles, dragging her manicured nails down his cheek.

Iwa looks down at her face, his eyes attached to her lips. Your body feels hot all over from the clear display of attraction. It was a girls night but she was going home with a man. You did spend the last while talking with one too, so maybe you weren’t all that better.

“Call me if you need me.” You murmur to her. 

It’s hard to know if she hears you over her raging hormones. She laughs and places a kiss on Iwa’s neck, running her hands across his stomach. 

“Oh, hey Toru-“ Iwa stutters, looking past you. 

You look over your shoulder and find Toru standing behind you, his posture relaxed as he watches the sight in front of him unfold. 

“Hey, having fun?” Toru teases. 

“F-fuck off.” 

Toru laughs behind you, and steps forward to wrap a hand around your waist. Your breathing gets caught in your throat as his fingers tighten around you. 

“I’ll see you later, Ikumi.” 

She pulls away from Iwa and smiles, waving you goodbye. You and Toru step away, his hand still attached to your waist as you navigate through the bar. It’s still packed, but there’s a steady stream of people leaving as it was closing soon anyway. Toru holds the door open for you, and you step out, the brisk air enveloping you completely. You suppress a shudder as your body acclimates and Toru walks up to your side. 

“Beautiful night, right?” He comments, sliding his hand away from your waist. You find the sudden lack of contact disappointing, your bottom lip slightly jutting out. 

Toru looks down towards you, a gentle smile on his face. You knew he was attractive in the bar, that much was obvious, but it’s like you’re seeing him in a completely different light under the moon. The night sky treats him kindly, letting white rays illuminate the side of his face. His hair is chestnut brown and wispy, a portion of his bangs covering his forehead. His eyes are like chocolate and kind, the sides of them crinkled as he looks down at you. Inside the bar he looked sexy, but out here he looks marvelous. 

“Shall we?” 

The words don’t register to you, not first anyway. You’re too caught up in his beauty, your eyes focused on the small details of his face. He raises his brows as he waits for a response, the action causing you to snap out of it. 

“Oh! Yes.” You tear your gaze away and look down at the ground, heat rising to your cheeks from being caught. 

“I didn’t know you drank that much.” Toru teases, starting off down the sidewalk. 

“I didn’t drink that much.” You ramble, following after him. 

The crowd thins out the further you guys walk down the sidewalk. You aren’t scared to be alone with him, even if you know that maybe you should be. 

“No? You just make a habit out of staring for fun?” He’s joking, and the ease of it all makes your heart lighten up. The conversation is flowing so well, it feels like you’ve known him for weeks. 

“Says the guy who’s been watching me all night. Plus, I only stare when I’m looking at someone who’s-“ Your lips blabber, liquid courage still flowing through your veins. 

Toru stops in his tracks, his eyes watching your movements. “Who’s what?” 

He knows what you were going to say. He just wants to hear it from your lips. 

“Who’s hot.” You put on a brave front, eyes darting to the side. 

Toru coos, pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. The action is entirely too delicate, the pads of his fingers brushing against your scorching flesh. It causes your face to tingle, a rush of energy bursting under your skin. 

“Aren’t you precious?” It’s a bit condescending, yet the tone of his voice is sultry. 

Your breathing stutters, your teeth instantly digging into your bottom lip. He must know he did something, because he lets out a chuckle before he resumes walking. He gives you no time to address the situation before he’s moved on, his hands now shoved in his pockets as he leisurely glides across the sidewalk. You catch up to him, letting your eyes wander around the buildings you’re passing. The area is nicer than what you’re used to. You’ve never walked this way. Toru must’ve taken a different route than what you’ve been on before. It isn't rich by any means, but there are a handful of businesses scattered around, the reflection of your bodies shining off their windows. 

You stroll for a while, words bouncing off each other as you make conversation. You talk about your classes, what your job is like, and how his day was. You’ve been walking for an indiscriminate amount of time, and the impromptu ‘date’ feels like it’s nearing its end. 

“Let me walk you home,” Toru offers, his posture relaxed as he looks down at you. 

Honestly, you aren’t even really sure that’s a good idea. It’s a bit dangerous, you think. Not just because he’s a stranger, a man you only met tonight. You think it’s dangerous because you like him. There’s happiness flowing throughout your body for the first time in weeks, and you’re actually having fun. And he was easy on the eyes. 

“Okay,” you agree. 

The two of you backtrack until you’re by the bar once more, where you begin to walk in the direction of your house. There’s a gentle breeze kissing your skin as your heels clack against the sidewalk. 

“So did you have a good girls night?” Toru asks, glancing your way. 

“Yeah, although I didn’t really want to come initially.” You reply, looking at him before darting your eyes away. “I’m glad I did though.” 

Toru smiles and looks up towards the moon. Silence floats over the two of you, but it isn't awkward. 

“I was a bit surprised when you told me about that guy. Did you want to talk about it?” 

You pull your arms close to your chest. Did you want to talk about it? 

“Just sucks, is all. We knew each other for a long time. I really cared about him. And I thought he cared about me too.” Your voice gets softer at the end. “I liked him a lot and we were best friends. Doesn’t help that we’re roommates. I have no idea what’s going to happen with that now…” 

You hate the pang of sadness you feel in your chest at the memory. Toru listens quietly, until you’ve finished speaking.

You realize you may have said too much. Your dilemma feels like a major red flag. Nervously, you look up towards Toru. 

He doesn’t look as bothered as you would have figured. His eyes are slightly widened, but other than that he looks normal. 

��No shit, huh?” He says. 

“Yeah.” 

The two of you walk in silence a bit longer before he asks a question. 

“Did you love him?” 

A couple of months ago you would say ‘yes’ with complete certainty. Now, you aren’t so sure. 

“I thought so, though maybe I just liked the idea of him more.” You dig your nails into your arms. 

“If it helps any, he’s a dumbass. I’m not sure why he’d fuck things up with you.” 

You grin, feeling a sense of happiness spark inside you. Toru was easy to talk to, almost a bit too easy to talk to. You feel a sense of ease each time he speaks, something you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“Well, I’m flattered.” You respond. You’re glad you didn’t ruin the mood. It may be a long shot, but you decide to ask anyway. “So, is there anyone in your life right now?” 

Toru’s brown eyes flick to you before he looks back up at the night sky. There’s a deep sort of sadness behind his irises, one that’s a bit hard to pick up on. You may have missed it, had you not also been feeling the same way. 

“No,” You almost feel bad for asking, if not for the grin he sends your way. “Why? You interested?” 

You chuckle breathlessly and roll your eyes. He straightens up at your response, as if he was keeping a tally of every time he made you smile. 

“And if I said I was?” 

Toru cocks a brow at that. You think you see a flash of disbelief cross his face, but you aren’t sure if it’s a trick of the light. 

“I’d ask if you were sure.” 

Now what kind of question was that? 

“Of course I’m sure.”

Toru shakes off the seriousness of the situation, the vulnerability, before lifting his chin up. The quick changes of his moods are leaving you reeling, only making you want to know more. 

“How’d you and Iwa meet?”

Toru chuckles, as if he’s reminiscing about some fond memory. 

“We’ve been friends since we were kids. We went to the same school and I never left him alone. He just sort of let me hang around and the rest is history.” 

The idea makes you smile. You could see that. You haven’t known Toru long, but it feels completely in character for him to just force his way into someone’s life. Much like how he did with you. 

The two of you talk as you stroll down the sidewalk. There is no rush. Not only was Toru extremely easy to talk to, but he was fun. You had forgotten what that felt like before tonight. 

The view of your apartment comes sooner than you were hoping for. Instead of the relief you were expecting to feel, you feel disappointed. The night is over, yet you want more. 

“Thank you for walking me home.” You toss over your shoulder. 

“Of course.” His words drip with honesty. 

He follows closely behind you as you make your way to your apartment. The hallway leading up to your front door feels a little less lonely than it did before. 

“This is me.” You turn around after sticking your key in the lock. 

Toru’s looking side to side, as if waiting for someone else to pass by. Once he looks down at you, a grin spreads across his face. It sends warmth throughout your body. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” 

“Aw, you’re worried about me?” You place a hand on his chest, easing it up near his throat where you pull at his collar under the pretense of fixing it. 

“I just know you were pretty upset earlier.” Toru follows the action with his eyes, before looking back down at your face. 

“Yeah. I just need to forget about it all.” You run your tongue along your bottom lip slowly. 

“Did tonight help?” 

“It did.” You try to breathe deeply but it’s as if all the air around you was sucked out. 

There was only you and him. His light brown eyes appreciate your face, and his lips are inches away. 

You know you shouldn’t. You know that. 

You’re heartbroken, and this is a stranger. He won't be able to fill the hole in your heart from Atsumu. 

All the rationalities fly straight over your head. They weren’t important. 

“Do you want to help me forget some more?” You look up from beneath your lashes, your hand trailing down his chest. 

He doesn’t say anything for a couple of moments, instead choosing to look at your face. You’re worried you may have misjudged the situation. Maybe he wasn’t interested in you. 

“I can help you with that.” Toru steps in closer, pushing your back up against your door. 

You aren’t completely sober yet, but you’re sober enough to grasp what you’re doing. Toru leans in, his lips just a breath away. He doesn’t close the gap, instead letting you make the final decision. 

Fuck it, what’s one night with a stranger. 

You press your lips against his, feeling the heat from his mouth transfer over to yours. A moan pushes behind your lips, threatening to escape if he pulls away. There’s a grin on his face, you can feel it against your lips. He tastes like whiskey and split second decisions, and you’ve never tasted anything better. You fumble with the door knob behind you before you’re finally able to turn it open. Your feet stumble beneath you as you walk back, you would have nearly fallen over if not for Toru’s hand on your lower back keeping you steady. He steps in behind you and closes the door after him without even breaking the kiss. You both kick off your shoes as you desperately grasp at each other's bodies. 

You need oxygen before he does, so you pull away to get a gasp of air. The room is spinning as Toru moves his mouth to place kisses down your throat. They’re wet and sloppy, complete messes as he trails down your neck. He runs a hand through your hair, letting your strands wrap around his fingers. You can feel his teeth scraping against your skin, unspoken temptation for him to bite down. 

Your hands slide down his chest where you grab to feel his body underneath. You knew he was in shape just from the sight of him, but you were beginning to think that maybe he was even more athletic than you thought. Your hands grope at the muscles underneath his shirt, and he lets out a chuckle against you. 

“Want me to take it off?” He asks, his teeth finally biting down on your jugular. 

You whine and tilt your head back in the opposite direction, letting him have even more reign than before. His mouth pushes down so he can begin to suck, making a moan float from your lips. 

“P-Please,” You ask, your voice shaky. 

Toru pulls away and looks down at you. You must look like a mess. Your lipstick has to be smudged, and you wouldn’t be surprised if your hair was fucked up from his fingers. He gives no indication that you’re anything less than marvelous. There’s a sparkle in his eyes and a soft smile on his face when he leans down to place another quick kiss on your lips. Then he’s stepping away again, his fingers starting to work on his shirt. Before you know it, all the buttons are undone. He unbuttoned it faster than you would have. His shirt is open now, hanging off his shoulders to give you a glimpse of his abs underneath. Toru yanks the shirt from his body before returning to you, both of his hands reaching up to keep your face in place as he pushes his lips against yours. 

There’s even more urgency now, a desperation flooding the gates as he kisses you. He lets his hands drop down to your thighs where he lifts you up, your legs automatically wrapping themselves around his waist. Toru presses you against the wall by the door, and you feel a mildly sharp pain spread across your shoulders from where your body makes contact. He quickly soothes you by sticking his tongue out, trailing it against your bottom lip. Your mouth opens and he slides in, tangling his tongue with yours. You almost forget you wanted more than a kiss, it was knocking you off your feet. Toru remembers the same time as you, as he steps away and turns to walk more into your house. The ease at which he walks and carries you is astonishing. You ignore the discarded shirt on the floor as he steps around it, walking down your hallway even though he has no idea where he’s going. The lights in the house are completely off, Atsumu still wasn’t back, so you’re forced to trust his blind instincts to not run into something. 

“To- to the right.” You moan against his lips. 

He follows your instructions and pivots, bringing you further into the house. Your hands slide down against his arms where you appreciate the muscles holding you. Toru finds your room and walks inside, the bright moon from your window finally providing some light. 

Toru places you on the bed and then stands up straight. The moon compliments him, the soft white light bathing him. His stomach and chest look mesmerizing. The curves of his muscles reflect the light as he reaches up to run a hand through his hair. 

Your mouth feels dry as you watch him. The moment almost feels unreal. Sort of like a dream. You dig your teeth into your bottom lip and he leans down, crawling on top until his heavy frame is completely over you. He kisses you once more as you inch backward, giving the two of you more space. 

“You’ve got a nice room,” he murmurs, placing a hand on either side of you. 

“You can’t see it.” You respond, meaning for your words to sound like a joke, but instead they’re airy and needy. 

Toru hums and pushes a piece of your hair behind your ear. Your hips arch up while you look at him. 

“I suppose so,” he trails his hands up your sides, his fingers sliding underneath your dress as he pushes it up. 

You reach down to help pull it off your body, throwing it across the room. It hits the floor, the sound of the impact against your hardwood filling the room. Toru chuckles as he grazes a finger over you, and goosebumps quickly follow. 

Your hands run away from you as you grab onto his skin, sliding up and down. He’s smooth. Toru lets you feel him as he slides in between your thighs, opening them wide enough for his hips. His fingers are making quick work of your bra, his warm palms finding their way beneath your body as he unclasps your bra before pulling it off. He throws it to the side, where it lands in the same direction as your dress. You’re getting nervous now. You haven’t had sex with anyone since Atsumu. Will it be good if the love isn’t there? Will you be able to indulge yourself in the pleasure completely?

“Lift your legs, baby.” Toru requests. 

He snaps you out of your thoughts, and you see his fingers laced in your underwear. He wants to pull them down, but he’s waiting for your help in doing so. You nibble on the inside of your cheek, pushing your legs up so he can slide your underwear off your body. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, tilting your chin up with his pointer finger. 

He must have been able to sense your mood. 

“Yeah,” you sound breathless in your response. 

“Do you want to stop?”

“No! No,” you murmur, pulling him back down towards you. He follows your lead, his bare chest pushed against yours. 

The scratch of his nipples against yours sends a rush of adrenaline through you. It sends your mind right back to the place you initially were. Your nipples pebble as he pushes against you, sending a short wave of pleasure through your body. 

Toru presses a kiss to your lips once more. It’s different this time. A bit more tender, a bit more soft. Like he’s bringing you back down to earth. He kisses his way down your body, and you watch with bated breath as he inches closer and closer to your pussy. 

His hands spread your thighs open where he selfishly invites himself in. He’s more broad than you by far, but you force your legs to comply. 

“Tell me if you want to stop,” he murmurs, placing a kiss on your thigh. 

You wet your bottom lip and watch as he purses his lips, letting a large dollop of saliva drop onto your pussy. The sensation causes your legs to twitch, so much so that you almost close them. Toru is one step ahead, as he holds you open while he leans in. His tongue makes contact with your clit, where he licks hungrily. A moan escapes from your lips as he licks you. His tongue is firm and pointed while it circles your clit, drawing out groans from you. 

His fingers are digging into you now, the restraint he’s showing is applaudable. You can feel the trickle of his saliva dripping down your pussy, getting you ready for what was to come. 

“T-Toru!” You moan.

Toru licks your clit, his eyes never leaving your face. He’s unabashed about it. He reaches up to you with his hands and you immediately get the hint, intertwining your fingers with his. Toru lets you squeeze his hands as you hold them, your fingers digging into the back of his hands. He’s groaning as he eats your pussy, and you aren’t sure why. Either he really liked the way you taste, or he likes the pain you’re doling out on his hands. 

He wraps his lips around your swollen nub, sucking softly before increasing the pressure. It felt so fucking good. You were a fool to think it would be anything less than. You’re positive that nothing else has ever felt like this. In that moment, you decide he’s ruined you. You don’t think sex with any other man would ever compare. Your hips jump up as you try to get more from him, even though he’s seemingly already giving his all. 

Your legs lay against his shoulders, while his face is buried in your core. You’re almost worried he doesn’t have enough space to breathe, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Toru’s moaning into your cunt, alternating between sucking your clit and fucking your hole with his tongue.

“You’re gonna make me, you’re gonna make me cum!” You groan, unable to look away from him. 

“Yeah? Gonna cum on my tongue, baby?” His hot breath sears into your pussy as he speaks. 

“Mhm,” 

Toru grins against you before pulling away, placing open mouth kisses around the inside of your thighs. All the momentum that he had built up was slowly draining away, replacing all the heat in your body with something much more lukewarm. Your brain’s malfunctioning as you watch him. 

“What the hell?” You sound a bit dejected. 

“What? You wanted to cum that early? That wouldn’t be any fun.” Toru clicks his tongue, his brown eyes slyly looking at you. 

He must be taunting you. Your bottom lip juts out as you pout, your eyes flicking away. Toru coos at you and nips your leg, making you jolt. 

“I’ll tell you what,” he says, his mouth inches from your pussy once more. “How about you cum on my cock instead, hm?” 

You look back at him, and you almost wish you didn’t. Toru sticks his tongue out, laying it flat as he licks a single strip from your hole all the way to your clit. It’s slow, but it feels so fucking good. 

You whine, clenching your toes as you watch him. 

“How does that sound, pretty girl?” 

You murmur a ‘yes’, too flustered to say anything further. 

“Yeah? You want that?” 

His face is lit up as he keeps egging you on. 

“Toru…” you mumble, nervously glancing between his eyes and your wall. 

“Aw, I’m just teasing you.” Toru lets go of your hands, and you immediately feel a sense of sadness wash over you. 

You wish you could keep holding them. 

He sits on his calves, looking down at your poor pussy while he rubs the insides of your thighs, soothing all his love bites. He looks like he’s contemplating something, before he finally glances your way once more. 

Toru crawls up to you, and you can see the shine of your wetness smothered across his lips and chin. He sticks his tongue out to clean up, but it barely makes a dent in the mess. Once he reaches you, he smooshes his lips against yours. Your nerves are on fire as you kiss him. Everything feels like it’s been amplified, as if all the pleasure in your body was nudged up to 100%. 

He leans back again, sitting on his calves as he digs around in his back pocket. There’s an urgent expression on his face, his eyes full of determination. 

“What’re you looking for?” You ask, your pussy desperately needing to be filled. 

“Condom.” He murmurs under his breath. 

Toru finds his wallet and pulls it out, fingers shuffling between cards as he looks for protection. He retrieves it, fingers making quick work of opening it. 

You shouldn’t. 

You know you shouldn’t. 

“You don’t have to wear it,” you say, knowing damn well you shouldn’t have. 

Toru’s eyes look up to you where he studies you for a second. You reach down to tide yourself over, your fingers dipping to your clit where you circle it. 

“No?” He questions. 

“No, unless you want to.” 

Toru chuckles once before throwing his wallet to the side. He’s easing off his pants, finally fully naked like you. It’s hard to appreciate what his cock looks like in this lighting, so you put faith in the fact that it must be as pretty as him. 

He’s hovering above you, his face inches from yours as he situates his cock closer to you. You share the same breaths, each of your heads spinning from ecstasy. 

“Ready?” He asks, pushing his cock against your pussy. 

“Yeah,” you groan, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

Toru eases his cock in, going slowly at first to acclimate you to his size. You wrap your legs around him, silently urging him for more. Toru pays no heed to your actions, instead sliding in at a slow pace. 

“Toru, please. I need it.” You whine, digging your nails into the skin of his back. 

“Patience, baby.” He kisses your forehead. 

You’re positive you’re full already but he keeps going. You’re starting to wonder how big he is, until he finally stops. It feels like he’s behind your belly button, the depth causing your breath to stutter. You wanted it faster, but now you aren’t so sure that was a good idea. 

Toru places a kiss on the side of your sweaty neck before he pulls away once more. He’s admiring your face, the way your eyes are almost rolling to the back of your head. 

“I'm gonna start now, hold on tight.” 

You could slap him at the teasing tone of his voice, but you refrain. Because he was right. You may need to hold on tight. Toru pulls his hips back, leaving only the tip of his cock in your depths. You dig your nails in harder, anticipating the feeling of him plunging back inside. On the way out, his cock scrapes against your gspot causing a moan to slip from your lips. Toru’s glancing down at you to see your reaction, before he presses himself back inside. You wince as he enters again, the mixture of pleasure and pain holding you hostage. 

“What happened to ‘faster Toru?’” Toru says, pressing his chest against yours once more. 

“Shut up,” You say it with a sharp voice. “You’re so big.”

You know that he knows that. He must have an idea, just from the way he was prepping you beforehand. Toru chuckles and slows his hips down, only pushing into you shallowly. 

Your pussy grips onto his cock as he fucks you, making it nearly impossible for him to pull from you. Slowly, your body gets more warmed up to his size. He pays close attention to your face, pressing himself further in the more you relax. Your eyes are shut as he fucks you so you can focus on loosening yourself up. You expect him to look frustrated when you open your eyes, but he doesn’t. He looks patient, an easy smile on his face as he fucks into you. It causes your breathing to stutter, an odd sensation flowing throughout your body. 

“Ready,” you say softly. 

“Yeah?” Toru arches a brow, looking down at where you’re connecting. 

You almost wish you could see how it looked from his perspective, but you're sure it would push you over the edge. 

Toru speeds his hips up, fucking you at a faster pace. The sensation feels better than anything you’ve felt so far. His cock was reaching places you could only dream of yourself. You’re moaning as his cock drags against your walls, and they tighten around him. He’s also groaning, his face pinched up in concentration as he fucks you. 

He’s still only an inch away, the closeness of his body only heightening your senses. Sweat is beginning to drip from his forehead and you’re sure it’s from restraint. He has an crooked grin on his face as he fucks you. You dig your nails around, trying to release some of the bottled up pleasure. 

Toru reaches down with one of his hands, skillfully locating your clit as he begins to draw circles on it. You moan louder, the feeling of both his cock and his fingers only bouncing off each other. 

He pushes himself to sit up straight to have more power. The new angle leaves you reeling. His finger rubs against your nub faster, as he delights in the sounds you let out. His fingers and cock are bringing you closer than you thought. Toru slams into you, his cock filling you up. The room feels sweltering, there’s sweat lining your body, surely staining your sheets. You can’t remember the last time you’ve been fucked this good.

“Feel so god damn t-tight,” Toru says, his words faltering at the end. 

His torso is shining in the moonlight, and his hand has a hard grip on your knees as he fucks you. His cock presses against your gspot each time, earning a slew of whines from you. Toru’s thumb swirls around your puffy clit, making you clench around him more. 

“So fucking full, holy f-fuck!” You’re close to sobbing now, your head thrown back as he fucks you. 

You wish you could quiet down. Toru’s moaning, and you really want to hear it. But you can’t, not over the sounds you’re making. 

Toru’s speed increases, his hips pistoning in and out of you so fast you can hardly catch a breath. He’s going hard too, the feeling of his cock pounding into you surely leaving bruises. 

You grab at the pillows behind you, digging your fingers into them for some sort of solace. Toru’s murmuring things above you that are hard to discern. His hands have a tight grip on your thighs as he fucks into you, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was leaving marks there too. 

“Taking me so well.” He’s speaking under his breath. “Fuckkk,” He draws the word out. 

“Toru, Toru,” You moan, feeling yourself inch closer. 

His soft brown eyes flick to you instantly. He must be picking up on what you’re trying to say. 

“You gonna cum for me, baby?” His thumb slips around your pussy, the wetness making it hard to stay in one spot. 

You groan, digging your teeth into your bottom lip. It feels like you’re going to burn up any second now. The bed is shaking beneath you, you can hear the rustling of the blankets under you. 

“Yes!” You try to take in a shaky breath. “Yes,” you sob. 

“Yeah?” He’s focused on your face, circling your clit with his thumb as he fucks into you. 

He must feel it before you do. He lets out a drawn out moan once you start to cum, your pussy keeping a tight grip on his cock. White hot pleasure floods through your veins, temporarily blinding you. It feels so fucking good. Toru doesn’t stop rubbing your clit until you start to whine his name. 

Once you do, he takes his thumb away and lifts it up to his mouth, where he pops it between his lips. The sight leaves you dizzy. 

Instead of fucking you hard and fast, he starts to roll his hips. You think he must be close, it’s written all over his face. 

“I’ll pull out, just, just give me a second.” He lets out a deep breath, trailing his palms against your thighs. 

He’s savoring every inch of you. 

After he’s composed himself, he looks back down at your face. Even though you had just cum, your body was still sensitive. 

“Hold on for me, okay?” 

You blink the tears away from your eyes and agree, unsure what he was even getting at. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck. He lets his speed pick back up once more, as well as how hard he was going. Even though he had given you a heads up, you still find yourself reeling. 

“T-Toru!” 

“I know, I know. Take it for me, okay?” His brows are furrowed while he concentrates. 

Your body shakes beneath him as he uses you. His cock pushes into you at a rough pace, leaving you breathless. 

“Okay, I’m gonna- Fuck,” He moans, looking down at your pussy. 

The sight must make him lose his breath. 

You want him to cum inside. You want to feel his hot seed spill into you until it leaks back out, staining the bedding beneath. 

Before you can ask for it, Toru slips from your hole. He jerks himself off above your body, using your cum as lube. You want to seer the sight into your brain. He lets out a loud groan as he begins to cum, white shooting out from his cock onto your tummy. 

It’s a welcomed warmth as it pours onto your skin. Toru keeps rubbing himself until nothing more comes out. His shoulders sag while he composes himself. A soft feeling floats over your body, and you relax into the bed. 

You drag your pointer finger through the cum on your stomach. It’s still warm as you bring it up to your mouth, pushing your finger past your lips to taste. Toru watches it all unfold, a cocky grin on his face. 

“You’re unreal.” He murmurs. 

You grin up at him, taking that as a compliment. The cum settles on your tongue, salty but mostly unflavored. Toru leans over you, one hand holding himself up beside your head while the other tilts your face up, with his finger beneath your chin. The two of you share a moment, neither of you breaking eye contact. 

“I know,” you respond, your voice low. 

Toru lets out a chuckle, before leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips. You weren’t expecting that. The moment is over quicker than it started. He leans back up, looking around the room. 

“Do you have a towel I can use?” He asks, eyes flicking back to the pool on your stomach. 

“Oh! You can use-“ 

Toru’s standing up off your bed, digging in the hamper beside you. He pulls out a white shirt, looking over his shoulder towards you. 

It was Atsumu’s shirt. 

He had lent it to you a year ago, but you had never returned it.  

“What about this?” 

You don’t know how to respond. Your breathing stutters as you try to form words. Toru raises his brows while he waits, a confused expression on his face. 

“You can-“ 

“Great.” 

He turns around, walking up to you once more. You watch as he drags the shirt against your skin, cleaning up any remaining evidence of your prior activity. It almost feels like betrayal. But then you remind yourself that it isn’t. 

Once he’s done wiping you clean, Toru balls up the shirt and throws it into the hamper again. He sits besides you, and when he looks back he notices the apprehension on your face. 

“Hey,” he begins. He cups your cheek while he speaks. “You doing okay? Hopefully it helped at least a little bit.” 

Oh. Yeah. You told him you wanted him to help you forget. 

And he did just that. You forgot, all up until this moment, anyway. 

You smile, and reach out to grab his other hand. His skin is warm beneath yours, a welcome feeling to the otherwise cool air around you. 

“It did, thank you.” 

Toru lets his hand slip from your face and he begins to look around once more, until his eyes find your clock. Maybe he was thinking about leaving. The idea shouldn’t hurt you as much as it does. He wasn’t anything to you. 

“Are you heading out?” You force yourself to ask. 

“I should,” The clock reads 3 am. Its bright, red numbers providing a sliver of light. “Do you want me to?” 

Oh. 

“No.” You answer before you can put any real thought into it.

You aren’t sure why you wanted him to stay, but you knew that you didn’t want to be alone. Toru strokes the back of your hand with his thumb before slipping free from it, standing up. 

“Alright,” his tone is soft, as if he was telling you he’ll stay. 

You scoot to the side of the bed, giving him more space. He crawls in beside you, lifting up the covers as he slips beneath them. You follow the action, letting your body brush up against his. Under the blankets next to Toru, you’re warm. You can pretend that all is right with the world. You can act like this is any other night. 

He pulls you close to him, your naked bodies fitting together immediately. You rest your head on his shoulder, letting your finger trail across his chest. His breathing is steady beneath you, and you focus on the slow rise and fall of his chest. 

“Thank you for coming home with me,” you say, your nails dragging across his skin. 

Toru hums underneath you, his fingers strumming your shoulder. 

“Of course.” 

You let your eyes close. This is nice. Even though the past week has been shitty, you’re at least glad that you met Toru. Even if tonight was the only night you would see him. 

If you want to be tagged, please let me know. Just specify what you want to be tagged in.

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Promise me!

Rook had to keep their guard up, the trio made it safely here. But Auron was somewhere, they didn't know where and it was slowly freaking them out. Faust, Auron's mom and Trish were here as well Rook knew they needed to keep a cool head or things would get out of order quickly.

"Where the fuck even is he?" The question made everyone think, worry and confusion filled the room as they tried to think. The bluenette looked at Rook for an answer, they didn't know, but they all didn't need to worry about that.

"Auron just told me to get you all here and he'd meet up. Something about needing to finish something." Calmly Rook explained as they turned to the window. Auron, where the fuck are you? That seemed to ease some people, like the trio but the two older women were having a silent conversation with their eyes.

Then Auron's mother, Aurelia looked at Rook, "I have another question? Are you my sons partner?" The question gave something for Rook to focus on.

"Yes, ma'am I am. Sorry we had to meet like th-" The older red head lady gasped and started to ask even more questions. How did you two meet? How many dates did you go on? Did Auron treat them right? And their personal favorite.

"Is he always keeping you on your toes?" Cheekly with a sly smile, Aurelia asked her final question. Trish was smiling with her friend, knowing that she always did this when there was a tense situation. Distract and figure out emotions.

"We met at work, we went on five so far, yes he treats me like royalty, and as you can see from him not being here. Also yes." Answering all the questions shot at them Rook crossed their arms to themselves. Faust, who was listening then spoke.

"Wait aren't you that person I asked for a coffee?" Sighing Rook nodded. Faust looked slightly embarrassed, "Sorry. Um didn't know you were my- his partner." Rook just gave a nod then turned to the trio. Alphonse the pink one was looking at the small group, Seth was listening to the third one. And the third one named 'Boo' was looking at Rook, like they knew Rook?

All of that was weeks ago, a month even. They were all told by Auron to stay here because of something. He never told Rook with such desperation to just stay put, they did put up a fight but was knocked out. Now they had to keep the peace because Faust and Alphonse kept butting heads, the shorter man got scolded by the older women. And Alphonse was scolded by his partner.

Rook giggled as Alphonse deflated slightly at the scolding, so did Seth. It seemed only those two had a problem being here. Aurelia was nice to chat or gossip with along with Trish, they were told many stories of their youth. Even some about Auron when he was a child, how he didn't like to be told what to do and would get a pouty face when told to do something.

Rook would be looking out the window tapping on something to ease their mind. Keeping them grounded even, but Auron always did know how to keep everyone on their toes. It was annoying really, he could at least told them what he was going to do. Aurelia saw how much Rook loved her son, and was so happy he finally found someone.

"I'm glad to know the person that made my son swoon for them." A random Wednesday she started this conversation. Snapping out of their thoughts Rook looked at the older woman her hair combo of red and white made them wonder if Auron would have that when older.

"Yeah, he's crazy about me." Softly smiling to themselves they crossed their arms. Nerves were getting more worst by the minute fuck where is he? Doesn't he know that their scared shitless for him? Fuck they're really starting to hate that savior complex he has.

"Rook, focus on my voice dear. Your starting to hyperventilate, you need to slow your breathing okay?" Smooth words filled their ears and they nodded slowly starting to do what they were told they felt tears fall again. Fuck their crying in front of their partner's mom. "It's okay dear, Auron doesn't think of how him leaving would effect other people. I think he got that from me." Aurelia said trying to make them focus on something else.

"Y..yeah he really does. Doesn't he?" Wet laughter was heard from Rook as they slowly sat down on the floor curling into themselves. This was really, really over do Rook having a crying session. The wanting of being strong for Auron and everyone here, because they felt like if they were panicking that would cause other's to panic.

"You don't have to be strong. I got you sweetie." The older woman felt so bad for them. Auron you better come home quickly, or I'm going to come get you myself. Thinking to herself as she opened her arms for a hug, waiting to see if Rook wanted one. They did, they really needed one right now. And so both were hugging, Rook was silently crying into her shoulder, Aurelia rocked them slowly. Humming a tune Rook felt as their emotions start to settle again. They were in a guest bedroom, so there was a knock with both being gone for so long.

Aurelia shielded Rook from the door, "Yes? Who is it?" On the other side Trish called out.

"Groceries were delivered. I'm thinking of cooking. Any requests?" The other older woman knew that she shouldn't point out that she heard everything. So she decided to play dumb for the sake of Rook, Trish knew the fear they had for Auron. She felt it everyday since Auron took being head of the company, how his step father wasn't a very nice man and made lots of enemies in his business. That boy still thinks she doesn't know, but she does, she always found out.

"No, not really. Thank you for asking Trish." Aurelia answered for both of them as Rook started to collect themselves. Thanking the shorter woman they finally got up and went to the guest bathroom to clean their face. When the bathroom door closed Aurelia let her tears fall a bit, she really needed her son to be back and to be safe.

Now it was Thursday, Rook woke up early as usual being with Auron for so long they got use to his schedule. Sighing they made their drink, and decided to reheat the dinner Trish made yesterday. Watching the microwave they wondered how the guards outside are doing, are they worried for Auron as well?

A door was opening, Rook snapped their head to the front door. It slowly opened and a tall man walked through then flicking on the light.

"Auron?"

"Rook?"

Both were looking at eat other with wide eyes, Rook made the first move. Rushing around the island and wrapping their arms around Auron who hurried to lock them in his arms. There was no ore words between them, they really needed to feel each other after being apart for so long. The red head slowly walked them to the couch and sat down still holding Rook tight, they didn't complain they basically had their claws sinked into his back. Both made sure the other would escape the hug, the fist hug they had in a long time.

Then, they just stayed there like that. Both didn't know for how long but the first few to wake up and see them were the trio. Boo made themselves in charge of breakfast, it made them ease their minds and give them something to do.

"I guess we'll be leaving now?" Boo spoke as they looked at the couple. Auron nodded and Alphonse almost said something but Seth held his hand. Shaking his head all three went for the door and was let out, they just wanted to go home and be with each other in peace. Just like Auron and Rook. Once again, Rook was the first to make a move. Lifting their head from his shoulder Auron saw the tears that fell from their eyes.

"Promise me you won't do that shit again." Demanding as they glared at him slightly. Auron was about to speak but was interrupted, "Auron I fucking mean it. Promise me, I can not! Go through this again." Serious was all over Rooks features. So the taller man nodded and kissed their forehead then letting his arms go from the hug holding their face lovingly.

"I promise, and I'm sorry." Gently saying as he looked into their eyes, taking the promise Rook nodded and kiss him.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Distance makes the heart grow fonder (Alyssa Naeher x Reader)

It's been a long month and a bit but things are finally settling down and I'm back! Posting might not be as frequent for a while though I'll try my best to get my motivation back.

I started this like a week after the world cup started, but it's finally finished. Hope you enjoy :)

Words: 4.1K

Two years ago, I made the hardest decision of my life. I left the person I was madly in love with, the person I thought I would marry. Leaving Alyssa was the hardest thing I had ever done, but at the time, I needed to be home.

After my mum had died, my family needed me and I needed them. Even though with Alyssa I was the happiest I'd ever been and she was the most supportive, loving partner. It wasn't enough. We knew we wouldn't survive distance that large so we ended it before the possibility of maintaining friendship was ruined. Even two years later, she was still constantly on my mind, no matter how much I tried to forget about our relationship, it never worked. We still kept in contact occasionally so I guess that didn't help. I could never fully let her go though. 

Missing Alyssa may have been the motivation behind packing up and moving to Auckland for the duration on the world cup. When I lived in Chicago, I trained and worked as a physio, but when I moved back, I never had the motivation to do the things needed to work as one in New Zealand. So instead I just went into security. Maybe it wasn't what I wanted to do, but it was easier at the time. 

I hadn't noticed anyone in the hallway with me, but a voice calling my name stopped me in my tracks. That voice is one I would always instantly recoganise no matter how much time had gone by. 

"Alyssa." We just stood staring at each other for a few seconds before I broke out of the trance. The women I was still madly in love with, was actually standing in front of me for the first time in years. "Do I get a hug Lys or are you just going to stand there?"

Alyssa's arms wrapped around me tightly as she spun me around, I giggled, burying my face in her neck. She refused to let me go when I tried to pull away. I didn't fight it though. After two years without her, being back in her arms was the best feeling in the world. "What are you doing here?"

"Working. I got a security gig for the duration of the world cup."

"Well I'm glad you're here. I've missed you."

"Me too Lys."

A clearing of the throat behind us, made me aware of the fact that we weren't alone. Once Alyssa had pulled away, I was bombarded by hugs from the girls that were on the team when I worked with them. "Alright, alright, I missed you too but please let me go now."

We spent a few minutes catching up, but I had to go before I got in trouble for being late. "I have to go."

"Me too. Come by my hotel later? It would be good to catch up properly." 

"I'll be there. Send me the address."

Later that evening, I was waiting anxiously outside Alyssa's door. Hanging out with Alyssa was a sure way to be hurt again. I had every intention of keeping things friendly, that didn't mean the feelings I had for her had gone away or I wasn't already wishing we could be together again. Two years later, she was still the person who had my heart. Getting to spend time with her made the pain worth it in the end. 

Alyssa opened the door, a small smile appearing as she hugged me quickly, "Thank you for coming Y/n/n."

"Like I would miss spending time with you."

We spent the next hour or so getting caught up on what's been happening in each others lives. Just getting to sit and talk with Alyssa again was amazing. After the initial awkwardness, it was surprisingly comfortable, almost like old times. We used to spend hours sitting or cooking together, while talking about random things. In almost 5 years together, we never ran out of things to talk about.

Alyssa was lying on her back, but when she turned on her side to face me, my heart felt like it skipped a beat. She was looking at me the same way she used to, with so much love and adoration. I quickly looked away before the urge to kiss her got to much. "I thought you were in Wellington with your family?"

"I am, but when I found out you would be in Auckland, I thought I would try my luck and temporarily relocate." I blushed, suddenly embarrassed at the confession. Moving to a different city for over a month in hopes of seeing your ex-girlfriend who you were still in love with, but couldn't have, was a bit ridiculous when you actually thought about it. 

Alyssa tried to hide her smile as she linked her pinky with mine. I didn't even think about pulling away. "You did that for me?"

"Maybe. I kinda missed you."

"I'm really glad you did Y/n/n. I missed you. Even if you weren't here I was hoping to see you anyway."

---

The first and second night went okay, I ended up back in my hotel despite wanting nothing more than to stay. We were trying to maintain some boundaries knowing that we would be apart again soon. On the third night though, that plan failed. Over the course of the movie, I ended up cuddled with Alyssa. Cuddling with Alyssa felt so natural, I barely noticed it was happening until she pulled me closer, kissing my forehead as I started falling asleep. Everything about it was a bad idea, but I gave into my desire and ended up staying. Before I knew it, I hadn't slept in my own bed for almost a week. 

Once again, I woke up in Alyssa's bed. Well, I hadn't actually slept much so I was more just lying there as she slept soundly, arms wrapped tightly around me with our legs intertwined. It had hit me last night that Alyssa would be leaving in a few weeks if not sooner, that we were moving past our attempted boundaries and into relationship territory again. It was going to hurt all over again if we let it continue. 

When Alyssa started stirring, I let myself enjoy her for a few seconds before reluctantly pulling away. Alyssa pouted, letting out a sound of protest while trying to pull me back in. "Lys, we can't keep doing this. It's just going to hurt in the end when you leave."

Alyssa took a few seconds to reply which was expected since she just woke up, but it didn't stop me getting nervous. I still wanted to see her, I just knew it was going to hurt. "I know. The rational side of me is saying to stop, but I would rather enjoy this time with you and deal with the pain. God I wish I never had to leave, even after all this time, I'm still into you."

I felt tears sting my eyes, trying to escape as I turned away to not let her see me cry. We had an almost perfect relationship, sure we fought occasionally, but we understood, trusted, loved and cared for each other unconditionally. We fit together perfectly. Alyssa showed me her soft side, something that she didn't do easily. We were constantly talking about our life together, hell I was a week away from proposing, but I had ruined that when I left. "I'm sorry I ruined us Lys."

Alyssa turned me around, the most sincere yet serious look on her face, "Don't ever apologise for that Y/n. You did what you had to for yourself and your family. It wouldn't have been fair for me to ask you to stay knowing why you had to go. It sucked beyond belief, but I understood then and still do. Please don't blame yourself because I never will."

My brain was telling me no, but my heart won as I lent forward, connecting my lips with Alyssa's. All the feelings, love, butterflies and tingles came back full force. Everything I had felt for her 2 years ago came back just as strong if not stronger. I guess it's true what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Alyssa cupped my cheek softly, pulling me so I was practically on top of her. Hands slipped under my shirt, my skin feeling like it was burning at the touch. Yet again, I reluctantly placed my hand on her chest, pushing her away.

"You have practice, I have work."

"I wasn't doing anything."

"Bull shit Naeher. I haven't forgotten your tricks."

---

Whatever boundaries we had set, had completely gone out the window after our kiss a few days ago. I hadn't slept in my bed again and there had been a fair few make out sessions. Tonight I had come back to her room after work to find her dressed up in slacks, a button up and a leather jacket. I was confused until Alyssa directed my attention to the clothes laid out on her bed. "Get dressed, I want to take you out tonight."

"Is that any way to talk to a lady Miss Naeher?" 

"My sweet, beautiful Y/n, if you could please change and accompany me on a totally platonic, non-romantic evening?"

I held back my laugh as nervousness started growing on Alyssa's face. It was subtle unless you knew Alyssa like I did. Alyssa could be sweet and caring, anyone who knew her could tell you that, but there was a soft, gentle, loving side to Alyssa that only the people she was in love with got to see. I just happened to be lucky enough to still be that person. "I would love to accompany you on a totally platonic, non-romantic evening."

Alyssa had taken me to a little beach to watch the sunset. It was one of my favourite things from when we were together.  Whenever we got the chance we would go watch the sunset. Whether it was the beach, park or just our backyard, it didn't matter. It was our time away from the world, our way to keep connection with each other even during our busiest times. 

I sat between Alyssa's legs, cuddled as far back into her as possible with a blanket wrapped around us. Maybe winter wasn't the best time to be watching the sunset on the beach, but between the warmth of Alyssa and the blanket, I wasn't feeling the cold yet. 

Alyssa kissed my cheek, breaking the silence with a whisper, "You know I forgot how much more beautiful your are in person than in photos, which is saying something because you look incredible in photos."

I giggled, pecking her lips before settling back to my original position, "I forgot how soft you actually are."

"You know it's only ever been for you."

"It's one of the things I love most about you. I know it's kinda ridiculous, but honestly, I've never felt more special then when I was with you Lys. You made me feel like I was the most important person in your life. I could do anything with you by myside." 

"You are special Y/n. You are one of the most special and important people in my life. No matter what happens or where you are, that'll never change."

There was no response coming to mind that would properly portray what I was feeling, so I just cuddled further into her. The words swirling around my head. I knew this would destroy me, having her back then losing her again, but I was so in love with her, that it didn't matter because even if it was just for a few weeks, I got to be with her again. Alyssa kissed my temple, fingers lacing with mine. "Are you okay Y/n/n?"

"I am. Just enjoying the moment. Even though I don't have the words to describe what I'm feeling, just know you mean the world to me."

"Ditto."

We sat cuddled on the beach long after the sun had set, talking about anything we could think of. The temperature had definitely dropped, my fingers and toes becoming colder the longer we sat there. Alyssa's nose sent shivers through me as she nuzzled it against my neck. I felt the vibrations of her chuckle despite her trying to hide it. "Are you cold darling?"

"Your nose is freezing, but I am getting quite cold now."

Alyssa laced her fingers with mine, wrapping her arms around me tighter, "Me too. I had dinner reservations for us, but I think we've missed them now. How does pizza sound?"

"Pizza sounds amazing. Can we go for a spa afterwards? I think the hotel one is still open."

There was no one else around so I settled myself in Alyssa's lap, head resting against her shoulder as I enjoyed the warmth after hours in the cold. Her fingers traced patterns along my back as I played with the string of her bikini. Everything tonight had taken me back to when I was happiest in life. It took me back to the countless nights spent cuddled with Alyssa, whether it was watching the sunset at the beach, watching tv or reading. They were some of my favourite moments in life. They were intimate and safe, the moments where I felt most at peace and loved. Of course I knew I missed Alyssa, but tonight made me realise just how much I missed those moments. It also reminded me that I only had it back for a limited time. 

Thoughts of moving back started swirling around my mind, but they were joined of thoughts of leaving my family and having to start over again. Honestly, it scared me. What if I decided to do it, then Alyssa didn't want me back? What if we got back together and we didn't work as a couple anymore? I know what we were doing and how we were acting. We're in this weird space of together, but not. 

Alyssa kissed my temple, arms tightening around me, "You've been more quiet than usual since we got back, everything okay?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, I'm just tired."

"I don't believe you, but I won't push it. Just know if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

I kissed Alyssa's shoulder before cuddling back against her, "I know. It's nothing serious though so please don't worry. Thank you Lys."

---

It was one of those days where there was too much going on in my head. Mostly about the situation with Alyssa, but also the thought of moving back. I had pretty much resigned myself to being hurt when Alyssa left. However, I also felt stuck. My plan was always to go back to the states at some point, I felt like I couldn't leave though. My family was here and after mum dying we had become so much closer. It felt wrong to just leave them again. 

"Hey Y/n. You okay?" Julie asked, steadying me as I almost walked into her. 

"Shit, sorry. I don't know."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's okay, I know you're busy."

Julie looked at me like I had just said the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. Then she wrapped her arm around me and guided me to sit down, "Never too busy to talk. What's going on?"

I groaned, hiding my face in my hands, "Have you ever done something you know will destroy you, that you know you should stop, but you can't. You can't because you are so in love with that person that the pain is worth it because you get the little bit of extra time with them."

"Alyssa?"

"Yeah. I've never loved anyone as much as I love her. Even after all this time, the feelings I have for her never went away. I miss her like crazy. Hell, I'm thinking about packing up my life again for her. I know I should stop this, not for me, but for her. To stop her from feeling more pain then she needs to. I just can't do it. I don't know what to do."

"Maybe that is the best thing to do, maybe it would save some heartbreak. Though, something tells me that even if you tried, Alyssa wouldn't let you without a fight. During tournaments, she usually does everything to stay focused and in game mode. Sleep overs would never have been an option, but you come along and you're sleeping in her bed every night. Alyssa is obviously happier and seems more free than we've seen her in a long time. She's more focused because of it. Alyssa loves you, you love her, but you need to decide if the pains worth it in the end, that's not a decision we can make for you."

"Yeah I know. Thank you for listening. Can you not tell Alyssa about this conversation?"

"Of course. If moving is something you want to do, what's stopping you?"

I sighed before letting out everything I was thinking about the situation. It felt good to finally be able to talk to someone that was impartial in the situation. That I could just be completely honest with and not have them be upset or get their hopes up. Julie just listened as I talked, offering comforting arm squeezes every now and then. "I know it's scary and you'll miss your family, but you need to do what is best for you. If that means moving back to Chicago then they'll understand. They supported you the first time didn't they?"

"I guess so. Thanks Julie, everything just feels like a mess at the moment, guess I have a lot to think about."

---

It had been days of non-stop thinking. Just when I thought I had decided on what to do, the what ifs started. What if Alyssa was it for me and I wouldn't ever find anyone else? What if my family hated me? What if something happened again and I had to move back? They were just some of the many thoughts that ran constantly through my mind, sending me back to square one every time. Alyssa could tell something was going on, but thankfully wasn't pushing me to talk about it. I didn't want to talk to her before I had things sorted and end up hurting her even more. 

Alyssa had left early this morning, leaving me completely stuck in thought until my phone ringing brought me back. I was planning on ignoring it, but it was my dad so I sucked it up. We went through the normal stuff, how are you? What are you doing etc until he finally called me out.

Are you okay? You sound off.

I sighed, deciding it was finally time to talk to someone in my family about it. You remember Alyssa?

Your ex?

Yeah, well she happens to be here for the world cup and I've been sleeping in her bed pretty much since the world cup started.

Oh right. So what's the problem?

I'm still madly in love with her dad

Okay, so get back with her. If your sleeping in her bed then she obviously feels the same. 

It's not that simple. We live in two different countries, thousands of kms apart.

You could always go back. 

I can't.

Why not? If you love her as much as you claim then make the move Y/n.

But you guys are here, I can't leave you again.

You've done it before. You always said you would make the move back once the time was right and if you ask me the time is right. We're okay. Do you really think your mother is happy that you're not where you want to be just because of her? She was always so proud of you for taking the chance and doing something you really wanted to do. We'll miss you, but please don't hold back for us. You deserve to be where you want to be, doing what you worked so hard for and be with the person you love. You loved being a physio, you worked so hard to get there, please don't let that go to waste.

I'm scared dad

I know, but you've never let that stop you before so why start now? Being scared isn't a bad thing, just don't let it stop you from doing things you want to do. At least think about it okay?

I will. I have to go. Love you.

Love you too Y/n

---

There was a time where I never imagined my life without Alyssa, but it had happened and it was the worst 2 years of my life. With the encouragement from both Julie and my dad, my decision was a little bit easier. Now that I had Alyssa back, I never wanted to let go of her again, even if that meant moving away from my family for a second time. The last thing to do before solidifying the decision was to see if Alyssa was even interested in me moving back. Honestly, that's what I was most nervous about.

We had just gotten back after a game and Alyssa was on the verge of sleep as we cuddled up in bed. Maybe it wasn't the best time to bring it up, but I couldn't wait. The nerves were building too much, almost too much to handle. 

"You played great today Lys."

"Thank you. I'm so ready for our day off tomorrow though."

I kissed Alyssa softly before sitting up, successfully getting her attention. "I know you probably just want to go to sleep, but can I talk to you about something?"

Alyssa sat up next to me, concern starting to show on her face, "Anything."

My fingers laced with hers, bracing myself for whatever her response may be. "I love you Alyssa, I've never stopped and I don't know if I ever will."

"I love you too Y/n, but-"

"I know, I know what you're going to say, but please just listen to me. Back then I didn't have a choice, I needed to be with my family so we could heal together. It's still hurts, but we're living life again. Now I need to live life for me. There's not a day that went by where you weren't on my mind. Where I didn't wish things could go back to the way they were and I could be back with you. I finally got you back Lys and I don't want to lose us again. I want to try again, I want to try us again."

Alyssa looked as if she was processing. I knew it was a lot, but every second that past I was getting closer to freaking out. After what felt like forever, Alyssa squeezed my hand, "What are you saying?"

"If you think maybe you might want to be with me again then I'm ready to move back to Chicago."

"Are you sure? I love you Y/n, but I don't want you to feel like you have to or do something you're not ready for."

"I'll miss my family, but they'll be okay without me. I have the ability to come back and visit more then I did before. I'm serious Lys. This isn't something I just decided on a whim. I've been thinking about this since before the world cup even started, but my dad told me to go. He made me realise I was holding back because I was scared."

Lips collided with mine, the kiss quickly turning salty and tears fell down Alyssa's cheeks, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

I giggled, "So is that a yes?"

"Yes. I would love to try again."

"I need a couple of months to sort stuff out. You know job, housing, visas."

"You can move in with me again, one less thing to worry about and maybe you could get your old job back. I think one of our PTs is leaving after the world cup."

"I was hoping you would say that. I would love to live with you. And I'll get in contact with my old boss, see what he says. Can I just say, no one would ever believe your reaction to this. The stoic Alyssa Naeher could never be so soft."

"Shut up," Alyssa muttered pushing me away slightly only to pull me back next to her again. She turned, letting our a quite sigh as I wrapped my arms around her. It wasn't an everyday occurrence, normally I was the little spoon, but sometimes Alyssa preferred to be held especially when she was tired. I was never going to say no to it though. "So considering I'm going to move back in with you, will you be my girlfriend Lys? Again."

"Hmm I suppose so."

"Good because this would be awkward otherwise. I have one more question before you go to sleep. Do you think you might be able to stick around after the world cup? Even if it's just for a few days, I would like you to meet my family in person."

Alyssa cuddled further against my side, eyes already starting to drift closed, "That could be possible. I would love to meet your family, I'll talk to coach."

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #40 | 5.1.24 ๋࣭⭑

Happy April (pretend I'm not late on this devlog)!!

April flew by in the blink of an eye. It's been a really busy month for me personally--I'm not sure about you all!

This devlog is going to be structured differently from the past devlogs for two reasons: 1) my concussion is lowkey kicking my ass and 2) I had a release going on almost every week this month because I am a Crazy Person HA!!!!

This month was filled with some kind of release every weekend, which is equal parts exciting and exhausting. Because releases always take a lot out of me, I basically spent every day this month cycling between phases of post-release euphoria, post-release depression, pre-release excitement, recovery burnout, burnout guilt, and just about every emotion in between.

THEN!! I got into an accident about a week ago and have been throwing hands with the resulting concussion since. So it's basically been a crazy month in the Crescence world.

That being said, let's run through the month in chronological order, and every weekend release :crazy eyes & hysterical laughter:

Kayn's Beta Route Out Now!

Kayn's Beta Route has been Finished!

In Extremely Exciting news, Kayn's beta route was finished during the first weekend of this month! I had put off publicly announcing it because I didn't want to clash with the demo release. But it was released quietly to patrons and beta-testers. Feedback so far has been very kind, and if you'd like to get access to Kayn's beta route, you can play it with the Hydra ($10) tier on my Patreon ^^

I will publicly announce the route sometime later. But for now, for those who bother reading my devlogs, here is a treat!

Enhanced Demo Release

Bro we fucking did it

Second weekend of April, we released the ENHANCED DEMO OFFICIALLY!!!! It was so exciting (and nerve-wracking) to be able to finally get this out to the public. Reception has been so nice, and it's been rewarding to see people finally be able to play the enhanced demo and see what I've been working so very hard on these past couple of months. I'm really glad you all liked it and appreciated all the details that I've painstakingly polished <3

I mentioned it before but I was really nervous for the release---I had no idea how it would go. But as always, I could not be more appreciative of the support you all give to little old me. Thank you, and I hope you all like the taste of what is to come in the Alaris world!

If you haven't gotten a chance to play the demo yet, please check it out here!

ALSO..... if five people want to rate the demo and haven't rated it yet...... it would make me very happy....... we are so close to 300 ratings.....

Velox Formida

Yes, I did help make a game in 36 hours.

Adding to the madness, I got sucked into this game jam by beloved and crazy @shewassaying. You have to make a game in 36 hours. It was a crazy whirlwind of an experience, but with people I always love being with. We finished a beautiful fantasy game if anyone would like to check it out!

Are you tired yet? I sure am.

A Faerie's Tale

We aren't done yet gamers

Finally, to round out the marathon, I created the GUI for this beautiful little game that was submitted to Amare Fest (which you should check out, since a lot of other cool games were submitted!). I had the opportunity to work with some extremely talented devs (@steamberrystudio, @jeneara, @windchimesgames, @tuffmallowinteractive, and feniks of OL fame), some of which are like titans in the VN community to me ;_;

The game is an enchanting, short little story (and FREE!) about a Fae. Something I know many of us are suckers for nyeheh. Please feel free to check it out here

That's it... Kinda.

And that's about it for this month! As you can see..... it was very much a back-to-back month. Because of that, I'm trying to use right now as a break (everyone thank my concussion for forcing me to take a break, yippee!).

Some other things that I want to highlight this month:

We released an official trailer for Alaris. She's stunning, and if you haven't seen it yet...... well, what are you waiting for....

intertwine is part of a Palestinian Relief Bundle. For only $8, you can get access to over 300 cracked games and support an important cause. If you haven't donated yet, please consider doing so. We are close to almost half a million dollars raised! Bundle ends in 4 days, so please consider buying if you haven't already

Alaris is part of a small little collaboration/cross-promotion of other magical and mystery otome. If you like sexy games by cracked devs, please check them out at the bottom of my itchio page. Some of the other games include Obscura, Lost in Limbo, The Good People, Save the Villainess, Snow White Ashes, and more! I would link them here, but I'm starting to get a headache teehee.

Anyways, that rounds out this month and a bunch of exciting news! I know it can be overwhelming to look at. Per usual, I never expect anyone to play every single game I am involved with. But if any of them catch your eye, I encourage you to check them out since many of the people I work with are very talented and you never know what new devs/games you'll get introduced to as a result!

See you all next month! <3

[writeforfandoms]

A Lonely Place - 3

Find my Soap masterlist

The last part of this fic, and my last entry for Soap It Up hosted by the amazing @glitterypirateduck

Let's see if you guys can find which prompt I used this chapter.

Discoveries are made, scarves are knit, and somehow things work out.

Warnings: Swearing, Feels, seriously more Feels, bit of anxiety, nameless characters, a familiar face shows up (if you read Gaz's zombie au fic).

Word count: 2.1k

Days passed easily with them - you helped out in the kitchen, learned how to chop firewood, and met several other members of the little community. 

It was very different from anything you'd experienced before. It really was a community - everybody knew everyone else. It was common to see at least one of the four protectors out and about. 

But you saw the most of Soap. Johnny, he offered, after a few weeks. He was funny, and kind of sweet, and very competent. 

He even showed you how to use the knife to protect yourself. 

It wasn't long until you were missing him when he was gone. Until you debated inviting yourself over to the house. 

But you always talked yourself out of it. 

The weather turned colder, making you glad for the heavy coat you'd picked up, and for the sweater you were finally almost done knitting. 

Somehow (you suspected the MacTavishes), word got out that you could knit. The first request came from a woman a little older than you with two children. 

“Could ye make scarves?” She asked, reaching out without looking to grab the younger of her two children. “Something warm.” 

You shrugged, absently scratching the back of your neck. “Yeah, should be able to,” you agreed, looking between the two. “I've got enough yarn.” 

She grinned at you. “How long?”

You shrugged. “How soon do you need them? I can have them ready in a week, if you're in a rush.” 

“Perfect. What do ye want in return?”

That stumped you, and you shrugged again. “Not sure, really.” 

She harrumphed but nodded. “Ah'll bring ye somethin’ good,” she promised before she strode away, little ones in tow, leaving you blinking after her. 

Well. Guess you'd better get to work on those scarves. 

You pulled out all your remaining yarn, frowning down at the spread on your bed. You already had the yarn set aside to finish your sweater, thankfully. Which left you with a few skeins. Not a huge selection, but you'd make it work.

At least it all felt like wool, rather than synthetics. 

“Runnin’ out?”

You jumped at the question, not having heard Mrs. MacTavish coming. “Oh, uh, yeah. I suppose so.” You shrugged. 

“Hmm.” She leaned a bit to one side to look around you and clucked disapprovingly. But she was bustling off before you could ask, muttering to herself too fast for you to parse what she was saying. 

Leaving you bewildered, blinking after her. 

Then you shrugged and picked out one of the remaining skeins. Fortunately it had already been wound into a ball, so you didn't have to worry about that. 

Without any pattern books or your usual online resources, it would be pretty plain, but it would be a warm scarf at least. 

It was only two days later that Johnny and Gaz stopped by the house. You'd finished your chores already and had settled comfortably on the couch to try and finish up the first scarf. The door opening caught your attention, and you looked over just as the two tromped inside. 

“There ye are!” Johnny hopped over the back of the couch to drop down near you (though not on top of your yarn, thankfully). “Doin’ alright?” 

“Same as two days ago,” you agreed with a little laugh, shaking your head. “Which is when you last saw me.” 

Johnny pouted, exaggerated and over the top. “Ah cannae even check on my favorite knitter?” 

“I'm the only knitter,” you pointed out dryly, though you were trying to hide your amusement. 

“Tha's beside the point, bonnie.” Johnny grinned at you, reaching over to tug playfully at the end of the scarf. “And what's this, then?” 

“A scarf for one of the kids,” you answered, swatting at his hand but not trying very hard to hit him. “One of the moms asked for her two, so I guess I'm taking commissions now.” 

“Brilliant idea.” He sat up straighter, eyes bright. “Be a big help, too.” 

You snorted. “For these two kids, sure. I'll have enough yarn after that to maybe make a few hats, but that's it.”

He blinked, just once, and then nodded. “Ah see,” he murmured, something calculating in his gaze. “Good thing she asked first then, aye?” 

“I suppose,” you said slowly, eyeing him. You weren't sure you liked that look. “What brought you over, by the way?” 

“Oh, that.” He reclined again, arms spread along the back of the couch. “We'll be goin’ on a supply run. Wanted ta see if there's anything ye need.” 

You shook your head. “No, I've got things, I'm fine.” 

“Ye sure? We find all kinds ‘a things,” he wheedled, leaning a little closer to you. 

You just shrugged, because you couldn't think of anything you needed, except yarn. And that was a long shot. Better to ask for nothing, so you wouldn't be disappointed. “I'm okay.” 

Johnny looked like he wanted to argue more with you, but the back door opened and the other three came in. So he simply sighed through his nose and stood, offering you a hand up. 

Dinner was lively with the two additional people. It helped that Gaz and Johnny played off each other beautifully, keeping the entire table entertained. 

After dinner, Johnny pulled you out front with him while Gaz was still chatting with his parents. 

“Gotta be somethin’ you want,” Johnny wheedled, still holding your hand from when he'd pulled you out the door. You didn't mind, heart fluttering at the gentle press of his thumb against the back of your hand. 

Your lips twisted and you looked down at your linked hands. “It doesn't matter what I want.” 

“Course it does.” Johnny leaned closer, tugging your hand gently to pull you in closer. “Anythin’ ye want, promise ah'll find it for ye.” 

Your lips parted at the sincerity in those blue eyes, mouth going dry at the promise. 

But you didn't have a chance to respond. Gaz stepped out the door and nodded to you. 

That was enough for you to smile and pull back, shielding yourself again. “Stay safe,” you said instead of giving him anything else. “Come back bite-free or I'll be very upset.” 

Far from being deterred, Johnny's head tipped, gaze laser-focused on you. “That what ye want?” He asked softly but no less intense. 

“Yes.” You met his gaze and didn't back down this time, briefly squeezing his hand. 

He nodded decisively, a brilliant smile breaking like sunlight across his face. “See ye in a few days,” he promised. He darted forward to press a kiss to your cheek, warm and fleeting, before he walked away. Gaz grinned at you, eyes warm, before he jogged after Johnny. 

You pressed a hand to your cheek and tried to deny the warmth blossoming in your chest. 

It didn't work.

You spent the next five days thinking about him in between your work. Chopping wood? You wondered where Johnny was, how far they'd traveled. Knitting? You hoped they were staying safe and avoiding the infected as much as possible. 

You couldn't deny that you wanted him to come back safely. You wanted to see him. 

Even if you couldn't yet admit to yourself why.

The fifth night, someone new came over for dinner. She introduced herself as Kyle's partner. (It took you an embarrassingly long time to realize she meant Gaz.) 

The best part was that she brought fresh bread and cookies with her. The cookies were the best you'd tasted, and you told her as much. 

You walked her outside, shivering briefly at the chill in the air. 

“They're fine, you know.” 

“Hmm?” You blinked at her, half-turning to her. 

“I worried the first few times they went out, too.” Her smile was soft and a little embarrassed. “I still worry, honestly. But they take care of each other.”  

You nodded slowly, though you eyed her curiously. “Why are you telling me this?” 

She rolled her eyes at you. “Oh, come on. We both know you're worrying about Johnny.”

“I'm not–! I mean, not that much.” You floundered for a moment, looking away even as your heart stuttered in your chest. 

She clucked her tongue. “Honestly, you're not really fooling anyone,” she chided gently. “You care for him, we can see that much. And he's a good man, he deserves someone to fuss over him.” 

You huffed. “He's sweet,” you muttered, still looking away. “And he's a good friend.” 

She laughed, stepping forward and patting your shoulder. “Keep telling yourself that,” she said with a cheeky grin and a wink. “Get back inside before you freeze. I'll see you soon.” 

“Stay warm,” you replied, stuffing your hands in your pockets and watching her take the first few steps away. Only when you saw her flashlight beam moving steadily away did you go back inside. 

You tossed and turned all night, unable to stop thinking about your conversation with her. Were you really so transparent about your feelings? Your… regard?

Just thinking that made you feel too much like a Victorian novelist. You snorted and rolled over to your other side. 

Clearly, you were not as subtle as you thought. You smothered your groan in your pillow. It was fine. It would be fine. 

It had to be fine. 

You delivered the two completed scarves by midday the next day, taking more fresh bread back with you, with the promise of some kind of sausage to come. 

Idly, you kicked a rock down the dirt road, debating what else you could do. You could make a few more hats - probably one each for the MacTavishes, to make sure they stayed warm enough. Beyond that? You'd have to wait and see. 

“Bonnie!” The cheerful call yanked you from your thoughts, and you blinked a few times as your gaze focused on Johnny. Hole and hale and safe, standing in the doorway. He positively beamed at you as he jogged the distance to you. 

“You're back.” You blinked at him once more, your brain still rebooting a little, even as your heart fluttered and swooped. 

“Aye, safe n’ sound, as promised.” He stopped in front of you, taking one of your hands in his. “Are ye busy?”

“Right now? No.”

“Good.” Johnny wasted no time in pulling you along with him, ignoring your little yelp. You gave in, laughing a little, and let him tug you back to the other house. He chattered the entire walk, telling you about where they'd been, some of the things they'd seen. It was comforting, having him near, holding your hand, talking your ear off. 

You had a brief glimpse of the others in the kitchen, mugs on the table, supplies scattered around in various stages of packing or unpacking. But Johnny didn't give you time to do more than wave with your free hand before he was tugging you up the stairs. 

“Johnny,” you half-protested, laughing a little. “What are you doing?”

“Ye'll see.” He let go of you only to put a hand in front of you. “Closer yer eyes.”

“What?” You blinked at him, startled. 

“Eyes closed.” He wiggled his fingers at your face height. 

With a huff, you gave in, closing your eyes. The door clicked as it opened, and for a moment you stood with no indication of what was going on. 

“Gonna guide ye forward,” Johnny murmured just before one big hand landed on your shoulder, the other taking your hand again. You moved cautiously, hand holding tight to his, uncertain but willing to trust him. But he guided you true - you didn't so much as bump into anything. 

“Okay,” he murmured, keeping hold of your hand. “Open yer eyes.” 

You opened your eyes and gasped. The entire bed was covered in yarn. Skeins, balls, balled remnants, in all colors and sizes. It was more yarn than you'd seen in ages. “This is… incredible.”

“Ah found more, but Price wouldnae let me fill the car with yarn.” Johnny shrugged when you looked at him, his cheeks pink, even as he continued talking. “But is close enough we could get the rest another time, aye?” 

You stared at the yarn for a moment longer, and then turned your gaze to Johnny. He'd brought all of this back. For you. Just for you. 

You tugged your hand free, but only so you could cup his cheeks, cutting off his nervous rambling. You kissed him. 

Johnny made a noise, something startled that you thought of as a squeak. And then he was kissing you back, eager hands cupping the back of your head and your back, pulling you in closer. 

When the two of you parted, neither of you went far, both of your lips shiny.

“Thank you,” you whispered to him, fingers scratching through the longer hairs at the back of his head. “For all of this.” 

Johnny just smiled, bright and besotted and incandescently happy, and kissed you again.