#and fart out something like this. which is so silly. enjoy

[deadchannelradio]

descartes

t, gen, humor, 4.9k, 1/1

“It’s fine, Jason,” Dick says. “Chill out. I’m a grown adult, it’s not like Slade’s bothering a teenager anymore. It’s enrichment for me. I get a little shot of adrenaline and a bug treasure hunt. Sometimes he even makes me coffee.” “And you drink it?” “Well, yeah. It’s my fucking coffee, I’m not going to waste it.” “I’m going to kill him,” Jason decides aloud. “Next time I see that man, I’m gonna kill him.” “No, Jason, do not,” Dick says in the same tone Jason uses to tell his dog not to chew on his boots.

Read more on AO3

[spenceragnewfics]

spencer and reader fake wedding on tntl

I hope you enjoy! This also helped me write something I wanted to featuring Court's birthday TNTL!

WEDDING BELLS?! | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader

TW: Cuteness is all I can think of.

Word Count: 1.3k

Description: Filming a birthday TNTL is always special, especially when Y/N and Spencer can do a joke poking at their best friends. 

Try Not To Laugh is one of Smosh’s biggest series that the channel does. It’s one of Y/N’s favorites to film because it’s never the same, every episode is different and fun to film. As one of the newest cast members, Y/N was still nervous to film the show but today was going to be different because her boyfriend Spencer was filming the episode as well. It was a very special one because it’s for Courtney’s birthday.

Sitting on one of the stools, she’s scrolling through her phone when she feels arms wrap around her from behind. Her face lights up when she sees the familiar tattoos and smells the ever familiar cologne, “Hey, Spence. Whatcha doin?” She asks, leaning her head back onto his shoulder.

“Just seeing what my beautiful girlfriend is doing.” He says, rubbing her arms as she smiles at him. “Well, I’m just waiting for my amazing boyfriend but I can’t see to find him. Have you seen him?” He rolls his eyes as she laughs, he playfully frowns before walking away with his head down. “No, no, babe. I’m sorry. Come back.” She gets off the stool and follows him. She hugs him from behind when he stops, resting her head on his shoulder, “You’re so mean to me.” He says, faking to be sad but she doesn’t know that.

“I’m sorry baby, I was just joking.” He turns around with a big smile on his face, “I know, I was messing with you.” She huffs as he pulls her into his arms. “Okay, you two are sickeningly cute. We get it.” Angela says as she walks on set. “Awe, Ang, I can help you find someone.” Y/N suggests, “Nah, I’m okay. This is plenty for me for now.” The two women smile at each other before more people start to come in.

It’s not much longer until everyone is on set that needs to be there so they can start shooting. Y/N stands between Courtney and Spencer to do the intro, “Woohoo. It’s Courtney’s birthday!” Ian says as the entire cast and crew cheer for them.

“So we, we have a very special try not to laugh today. We have so many people, including maybe some surprises.” Ian continues, making a silly voice towards the end. Courtney laughs then mocks him before he continues, “It’s gonna be a big one. Courtney, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling extremely nervous, I haven’t seen any of you all day until literally two minutes ago. So it’s, we’re doing like shock therapy. Here we go! We’re going in, we’re diving in!.” They say, their nerves slightly showing. “All right, let’s dive in guys, let’s go!” Ian says as everyone cheers then moves around. 

The first four on the stools are Shayne, Courtney, Y/N, and Spencer. Amanda starts it off, doing a very good security guard impression and everyone is able to hold their water in until someone dressed as Freddy Fazbear pops out. Y/N screams when she sees it, spitting out her water while Courtney spits out theirs from laughing. Shayne and Spencer spit their water out a second later.

It turns out that Trevor is in the Freddy suit which makes Y/N surprised. “I would’ve never guessed it was Trev. Honestly.” She says, laughing as Trevor talks about how he can’t see anything.

Ian goes next, using a speaker to play some sound effects. Courtney, Y/N and Spencer laughed and then suddenly it’s Ian reading straight from Twilight. Y/N grips Spencer’s arm as she starts laughing even more, “I can’t, I can’t” She says breathless as she holds onto him for support.

Next is Olivia, who makes everyone laugh with her gagging and farting before she comes out as Boneless. She gives Courtney two paintings she did before leaving.

Erin D walks out dressed as Gerald Cakes and does a little and turns before saying “I’m on my way.” Making all four spit out their water as she twerks. 

Damien is next and Tommy walks out first. The four wait until Damien walks out dressed like Baron Harkonnen, he doesn’t even get to do anything as Y/N already spits out her water from laughing. The bit gets better as it goes on, everyone spits out their water before it’s over.

Vida comes out next with a ukulele. “There’s nowhere to- actually. There’s a lot of places to masterbate when you’re at Smosh.” She sings, making everyone shocked. Courtney covers their mouth while Shayne turns away. Y/N and Spencer look at the crew shocked while she grabs his hand.

“Just don’t tell my boss.” Vida sings, Shyne spits out his water almost immediately. “And as my gift for you, I’ll share a few.” Y/N squeezes Spencer’s hand, getting ready for whatever is about to happen.

“So the crying bathroom’s obvious and the voice over booth.” Courtney spits out her water at the one. “You can use Ian’s office, just make sure Ian’s through.” Spencer lets the water out of his mouth, shocked that this is going on. Y/N remains the only one with water in her mouth.

“On the games stage, you can master your moose.” Y/N spits out her water at that as Spencer quickly shakes his head. “Dear god, please no!” She begs looking at the camera. Vida soon ends her song to applause as everyone laughs, shocked at the whole thing.

Brett Miller, comes out and sings Court happy birthday as Marylin Monroe. The final one before they switch out is Bailey. Emily gives the all clear and the four wait, she doesn’t walk out from behind the divider.

“So, guys, do you have any plans after this?” Bailey’s voice asks from behind and they look to see her dressed as Bystander. They all spit out their water as Y/N and Courtney scream.

Angela runs out screaming, “He won’t leave me alone.” The two do the bystander bit and after it’s time to switch out.

Y/N, Shayne, and Spencer walk behind the divider as Ian and Olivia sit with Court. “So, Spence, I think we should do our bit together.” She suggests, looking at her boyfriend excited. “What do you have in mind? You look very mischievous.” He asks, a little nervous.

She whispers the plan in his ear, making him smirk as the plan is genius. “Ooo, Tommy! Come here!” Y/N says, pulling the man in and she fills him in on the plan.

A few minutes later it’s Spencer and Y/N’s turn. Tommy walks out first, a bow tie around his neck and book in hand. Courtney looks at him confused until Y/N walks out in a white outfit with a veil on her head. Spencer then walks out with a tie around his neck, the crew screams in excitement as they try to see if what’s about to happen, happens.

“Dearly beloved cast and crew, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of the Courtney wannabe and Shayne wannabe.” Courtney spits out their water as they laugh. “Do you take each other to be wedded husband and wife?” Tommy asks, “I do.” Spencer and Y/N say in unison.

“By the power vested in me and the state of Smosh. You are officially copycats!” He declares as Spencer dips Y/N and kisses her. The cast and crew cheer as they stand up straight. “We really aren't’ going to beat the rumors now huh?” Y/N jokes and Spencer shrugs before they walk back behind the divider.

Once the two are behind it, they start laughing as he pulls her into his arms. “Maybe that’ll be real one day.” She looks at him with a raised brow, “Maybe? I was hoping for definitely.” He chuckles before kissing her cheek.

[thoseyoulove]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part II (with a bit of spoilers)

I found out my problem with the narration and description isn't with Anne, but Lestat. That dude sometimes focuses on the most useless stuff instead of telling what is happening or what he's feeling. I'm like, Lestat de Lioncourt, get your priorities (not) straight? But it's not much of a problem anymore now, because it gives me a better idea of who he is and how he thinks, so I appreciate that. I enjoy the immersion, even with someone as chaotic and as distracted as he is.

Turns out when Lestat FINALLY gives me a good picture of things, it's with the WORST event possible.

Remember what Louis said about the little drink? That's the whole experience from the moment Magnus kidnaps Lestat, turns him, kills himself before his eyes and leaves him completely alone. Multiply your worst case scenario by a trillion.

Not that I would want Magnus to stay, God forbid, but the next moment is still pretty bad. You might believe it gets better after his death, but it's not immediately.

Lestat goes from being too frozen to move, to fighting with every fiber of his being and then trying to take it as a positive thing? Which, well, it's a realistic reaction to it, but also heartbreaking.

It's not exactly "rape", but it has pretty much everything a rape can have without penetration? So it basically felt like the same thing to me.

It's quite a long chapter, it's considerably graphic (at least for me), took me over 2 hours to finish it (maybe it was even closer to 3 hours, I don't remember anymore, but I struggled a lot), I kept taking pauses, whenever I thought it was over it kept going and kept getting worse.

It is well-written in the way that makes sense, that moves the story, that narrates and describes what's happening with details, that you can really picture it in your head, that is extremely intense and emotional... But it's obviously not an exciting part.

I feel bad for the way Lestat immediately shifts afterwards and tries to make the most of it. Not that I wanted him to be miserable and feeling sorry for himself, but I'm like, something terrible happened to you and it's okay to take time to deal with it. I'm not even sure he understands how traumatic that was? If he does, he doesn't acknowledge it, let alone admit it. Not even to himself. And it's just frustrating.

Even after I read it, it stuck with me and took me more than a day to get over. I kept remembering it even when I was doing totally different stuff.

It's cool to navigate through things with him as Lestat finds more about how his body and powers operate.

When he went to the village and began to experiment with his powers was fun. Him jumping, cutting trees and whatever the other silly things he was doing and I can't fully remember... It was like an ADHD child high on sugar and sort of cute.

Is that presence... Armand?

You can take the man out of the church, but you can't take the church out of the man (or the vampire), apparently.

This probably isn't necessary, but I want that scene that he sees the house with the family and reads their thoughts? The idea of seeing the thoughts of babies is so sweet... It's not even for him, it's more of a me thing, I guess. I would just like to see it. I don't know. Maybe I'm being too sensitive and PMSing lol. Don't @ me.

Lestat has kissed so many people at this point and he hardly gives details, so I'm like, what are you kissing? A cheek? A hand? A mouth? Is it a friendly peck on the lips? Is it tongue-kissing? Elaborate? I mean, I don't care because the way he does it feels as trivial as a fart lmao. The only one he really has a deeper relationship with so far is Nicki, so I only kind of care about Lestat with him. It's not really a problem, but I just find the whole thing vague and ridiculous lol.

It's not even Lestat that has BPD, but BPD has Lestat at this point. The man is intense, has crazy mood swings, has extreme reactions to things, engages in dangerous behavior, is highly irresponsible with money, has a chronic fear of being alone... I know one when I see it. And vampirism didn't fix it, it only made it worse.

A bit off topic, but there's something about France that is so enchanting? I've always been obsessed with it in some ways, some places, the architecture, the language, the art... It's not like I'm a big nerd or anything, I can't barely name stuff to save my life, but just looking, hearing and thinking about it... There's just some charm to it. I've realized that the simple fact of stories being set in France makes me excited for some reason. I would love if they filmed there and in some of my favorite spots (cough Sainte-Chapelle and Carcassonne cough), for the mere reason it would look gorgeous and they should because I said so. Maybe in a past life I lived there or something, but I've always had that fascination, God knows why.

"Why the hell did Anne write and word it like that?" moment #1, I guess. At least it was fast and I can erase it from my memory.

The book has gotten quite faster and more eventful now, it's definitely better than when I first started it. I hate when it takes too long for things to happen, so this pace is good. And crucial moments happen pretty early on, which I appreciate. It's nice to know I've read some of the most important events by now, even as disturbing as they are. One of the downsides of being in this fandom is not having the full information, so already knowing part of the big events is satisfying.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat's narration, which can be unreliable. I'm reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I'll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I'm enjoying it. I'm posting these comments only for fun.

[katiekatdragon27]

People sleeping on this hypothetical tbh.

Oh, First King you grump and unaware old fart. You have no idea how scary and cool you look to these kids <33

Notes n stuff below cut:

I get all the jokes about FK being a zombie and evil n stuff, but like, not really?? He's just the FIRST KING OF THE GLADE that's all. He's probably been unjustly necromanced into today's world when he was just chilling with being dead. He would be the last thing from evil. Maybe kinda rude to other species, but that's normal for older people.

Idk, I just want grandpas in the world who actually want to help care and raise the next generation (cuz peepaw Polokus is doing daedally-shit)

Since I'm self-indulgent and biased to my own ideas, I had this silly idea that when FK was resurrected, he and Markus (the name for the Grand Minumus always hanging with Rayman for me), got into some arguments about just general stuff regarding the Glade and it's management. It might've gotten violent, and this got FK banished to the Livid Dead for a couple years, hanging out in the upper levels with Romeo, Shadi, and Goth (kinda).

When Big Mama found him there, she quickly brought him back to the surface and showed the Fairy Council. Betilla is very conflicted about him being back (cuz daddy issues), but she makes a decree that nothing harmful shall be bestowed upon him. So, he can do whatever without being sent back down to the Livid Dead.

Now, onto the school-related parts:

FK has a had a liking for kids ever since he was known as Aurthr Grandur (shameless The Sacred Dream plug sorry-not-sorry). So, when he was allowed back into the royal ranks, he began basically being everyone's royal babysitter when he wasn't listening in on Fairy Council meetings. That's where someone proposed for him to be a teacher, to which he took up the offer.

History has a tendency to be kinda skewed in the Glade, often neglecting the stuff predating Rayman and the rise of the Limbless race along with every other group in the Glade. Stuff that FK went through first-hand. He was not really vibing with the lack of diversity in the schooling.

As the magic school's history teacher, he always makes an effort to share all kind of history, not just Rayman's. This consists of every kind of creature in the Glade and of course his own. He even talks about the fairies as "kids" on occasion too. He is very well-liked amongst his students of all ages. Also, he doesn't give homework and does live-acting demonstrations of certain events with crazy swordsmanship, so bonus points there.

Many adults were wary about what they thought to be a nightmare teaching their kids but grew to appreciate him more b/c of his old-school "fuck around and find out" methods of teaching and discipline. Kids got better when in his class, which was something not that seen prior to him.

And in the background, he tutors students that show an interest in hand-to-hand combat. He loves seeing younger people actually using sharp weapons and learning the powerful method of channeling magic. He's an actually good PE teacher, I always thought those weren't real

Here is his full drip:

Enjoy the essay and have a good one fellas ✌️✌️✌️✌️

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

nina, jane, jeff and clockwork with a scene! s/o? :3

scene kids >>>

Also i feel like you picked some of the most perfect creeps for this prompt

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nina

I feel like she would be a mix of scene and emo

Mostly scene though

So she adores having a scene s/o!

You borrow each other's hairspray and teasing combs and accessories, etc

She steals your shirts sometimes if it goes better with her outfit

She always returns it....

....after she covers it in her perfume

Hair dying dates are very much a thing!

Whether shes dying yours, youre dying hers, or maybe you both do each others!

Another common date is making kandi together

She's made you bracelets that say her name, say both of your names, and say silly things like "fart"

Someday, she wants to go on a concert date with you

The two of you, wearing matching outfits and partying all night long to the music

It makes her heart flutter!!

Speaking of things that make her heart flutter, she gets butterflies when she hears your clothes jingle

She doesn't quite know what it is about it, but she loves it so much

If you are someone who wants to get married, she constantly talks about how she's gonna get gerard way to play at your wedding

She also loves doing your makeup!!

Her favorite part is the lipstick

In her opinion, it brings the entire look together

Though, you'd look gorgeous no matter what

Jeff

This guy is an absolute metal head

But in his younger years, he was a emo kid

We're talking sode part, too many belts, a strange amount of mcr t-shirts, the list goes on and on

So when your relationship with him begins, he will most likely give you all of his old gear

You will have to wash most of it because lord knows this boy does not shower

Maybe if you asked nicely enough hed dress up again for you

But he would refuse to go out like that

He would like to go shopping with you though!

A date i think he'd have fun with is going to the mall together, getting boba and just walking around buying clothes and accessories

Which is something he can do now, since he spends most of his time in the underworld

You'll just have to hope that you don't get caught up by the paparazzi

Which is almost never the case, especially with him being JEFF. THE. KILLER.

If you do manage to have a nice time with just the two of you though, congrats!

Jane

I feel like Jane doesn't really enjoy the scene aesthetic

She's a very toned down person, so all of the accessories and loud music just kind of overstimulates her

But, its not like shes gonna make you dress any way

If you like the way you dress, then thats your choice and she respects that

She would like to watch you style your hair and do your makeup though

Shed find it intriguing, and she enjoys seeing how your styles differ

She might let you style her hair as well, but it would take a lot of convincing

She is very particular about her hair, and seeing all of the hairspray you put in yours, it would really make her uneasy

But if you did convince her, she'd be pleasantly suprised!

She'd want you to style her hair more often, because she discovered that the way you style it actually flatters her face shape very well

I feel like shed be open to going to a concert with you!

Just dont expect her to really do much

She'll be very busy just enjoying the music, she wont drink or really even dance much

If you are shorter than her, she will hold your hips and sway side to side with you to the beat

If you're taller than her, then she will stand in front of you, with your hands around her shoulders

Clockwork

I feel like she wouldn't really care that you're scene

In the nicest way possible

Like she just doesn't really care what you dress like, she loves you and thats all she knows

But if you wanted to ramble all about your fashion or music, shed be happy to listen!

Shed be the most willing (besides nina) to let you dress her up

She feels super cool once she gets all of the belts and chains around her waist

It gives her a sort of nostalgic feeling

She wasnt necessarily scene when she was younger, but she had the classic bangs and she wore mostly baggy jeans and band t-shirts

She is willing to let you do basically anything to her

If you wanna practice makeup on her, she will let you

If you wanna see how an outfit looks, she'll model it for you

Shes the most chill with doing whatever you wanna do

Like she will literally say yes to anything

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey, Sex Witch! This one's uhhh probably different than your usual fare BUT here goes. I'm pretty close to middle-aged, monogamous (m/f), and having some trouble with like. positions. Because we're both like ow my knees and ow my hips and yes this is the one position that seems to work but now we're BORED. Which has led to all sorts of anxiety issues around initiating and having sex at all. Do you know of any resources to help a couple of old farts out?

hi anon,

this is actually soooo normal for what I do here! a lot of Sex Witch Advice(TM) boils down to "okay, so try something different then," and that's exactly what we're going to do today!

right off the bat if knees are an issue: hey. have we tried some padding. you could buy, like, this 95 dollar sex pillow from goop if you really wanted to

but you could also just, like, fold up your own blanket or strategically place your own pillows to do exactly the same thing! padding in general can be a huge help; just prop em up wherever you need them to support the parts of your body that need support and go to town.

or, hey, just buy some knee pads and/or knee braces. this may just be the roller skater in me talking, but knee pads are so sexy. having sex that requires its own gear is soooo sexy, and knee pads are no exception!

this is lingerie. to me.

also, pro tip for you and anyone reading this: this also 100% applies to things like wrist or elbow braces! any supportive devices! whatever you need to support your body and keep it comfy during sex, just do that!

aside from just padding things out, let's talk about sex that requires less hip movement. y'all have, presumably, fingers and mouths and a variety of exciting erogenous zones, all of which can be combined in fun and exciting ways.

there is also a wide, WIDE world of sex toys out there to explore together. hips too achey to thrust much anymore? that's fine; just buy a thrusting vibrator and get each other off that way, babe. I've heard particularly great things about Hot Octopuss, a company that found unexpected popularity with elderly customers who enjoyed how accessible many of their toys were for bodies that aren't quite as flexible as they used to be, but obviously anything that tickles your fancy is fair game.

(just, you know. check the packaging to make sure it's body-safe. no jelly dildos, so help me god.)

it sounds like the problem absolutely isn't you and your partner not wanting to bone. in a strange way I consider it a great sign that you've gotten bored, because it tells me that you and your partner like variety and expect to have fun when you have sex together!

to me, that means you're in a fine position to get back in the swing of things by doing a little experimenting together. approach sex like a game, playing together find out what works. try things like the list of positions offered in this article, seeing what works for you, what doesn't, and what just feels silly. when something doesn't work for you, that isn't a failure - just a learning experience, and a great opportunity to laugh together.

listen, you guys are in a super cool part of life where the gift of your lived experience is starting to make itself known and require different accommodations. learning how to do that now is GREAT, because (if everything goes right) you're just going to keep getting older, and your body will continue to change! how great to get to learn what intimacy will look like as you spend more of your lives together!

[buildarocketboys]

also 68 + valvert for old time's sake <3

We Shall Not Overcome by Frank Turner

Cosette POV modern AU, vaguely based around the lyric "Ever feel like an awkward understudy thrown into a cast where you just don't get along?" Hope you enjoy, it was fun to dip my toe back in the Valvert pond after so many years!

Today is the third day the big scary policeman has come to their school, at least according to Cosette's friend Camille. Cosette hadn't seen him till today. In her opinion, he doesn't look all that scary. Just grumpy.

They're doing final rehearsals for Jack and the Beanstalk, and Mrs S is worried because Mr Fauchelevant is off sick and he's supposed to be playing the giant. Cosette loves his "Fee fi fo fum".

"Now, children," she asks, as Cosette spies the big policeman plodding closer to the stage. He looks kind of embarrassed, she thinks. And kind of silly. Like he doesn't know how to be around children. "Would any of your fathers be able to stand in for the giant? It's not too demanding, and they can read off the script."

Cosette's hand shoots up into the air. Her papa would make an excellent giant - he's big and tall and has a deep voice. Of course, he's not at all scary, but Cosette thinks maybe he can be, with practice. Cosette will volunteer to read with him, so he can learn his lines and not have to rely on the script.

Mrs S points her out. "Yes, Cosette," she says. "Do you think your papa would be willing to be our giant?" She looks a little surprised, probably because her papa is quite shy and rarely comes to school functions, but he's coming tonight. And her papa will do anything if she bats her eyes at him, she just knows it.

She nods.

The policeman approaches even closer, mounting the stage and then bending to talk to the girl, his eyebrows furrowed pleasantly. "Your father will be coming tonight?" he asks.

Cosette nods again; she's decided she likes the funny policeman with his silly expression. He looks like he's trying not to fart. She giggles at the thought, then snaps her mouth shut. "Yes," she answers him, trying to look serious and grown up. "He's coming to watch me - I'm the golden goose!"

The policeman's expression twitches, and for one second Cosette thinks he's going to laugh. Then he straightens up. "Well, isn't that something," he says to himself. Mrs S glances at him worriedly. "I'll see you tonight, then-" he waits politely for her name, and she gives it, remembering her manners.

"Cosette," she says, and he smiles knowingly. She feels a little worry tug at her gut, but she ignores it.

"Javert," he replies, offering her his hand. She takes it bravely.

Yes, she decides. She definitely likes him.

Papa is very reluctant to be the giant at first, which confuses Cosette. He's going to be there anyway! She knows he's shy - that's why he hides when strangers come knocking at the door instead of answering - but the giant barely has to say anything at all. Just "Fee fi fo fum I smell the blood of an Englishman!" Which Cosette knows he knows, because he used to read that book to her when she was smaller.

Eventually he agrees, and she makes him practise with her, and he does do a really good low growly giant voice. Cosette giggles at him, and he looks pleased.

They arrive earlier than really necessary to school, because Cosette is impatient and manages to convince him that they need to be there before anyone else. So they spend most of the time before the play starts milling around backstage among the other kids. Her papa looks so funny and awkward surrounded by kids so much shorter than him - he really does loom like a giant. She remembers the policeman from earlier and thinks that her papa kind of reminds her of him. Awkward but kind.

Cosette's scene and her papa's are one and the same, so she drags him by the hand to the stage when Mrs S calls her name.

"Remember, Papa," she says seriously. "Your lines are "Fee fi fo fum I smell the blood of an Englishman". Her feathers are digging into her hair and she can't see very well through her mask, but she doesn't mind. Her papa is with her.

He nods, looking a bit sick. She goes on stage ahead of him, honking her patented golden goose honk. The big policeman is sat in the front row, leaning forward, hands on his knees, as if poised to pounce.

Cosette looks behind her for her papa. He makes two steps onstage, glances towards the audience - to Javert, she thinks - and then dashes back off.

"Papa," she hisses. Jack is waiting on the other side for his cue - Papa is meant to say fee fi fo fum but he's vanished. "Papa!" she says louder, looking desperately behind her then back at the crowd.

Javert gets to his feet. He climbs onstage.

"Don't worry, Cosette," he says, resting a hand on her shoulder. "I'll get him. You just keep up with your honking now."

She scowls at his back as he heads backstage, and then follows at a distance. It's her papa, she thinks, so she should be the one to get him.

When she gets backstage, however, Javert and her papa are in the middle of a heated conversation, and she hides herself behind the costume rack to listen.

"She's waiting for you, Valjean," Javert says to her papa. "What, are you just going to let her down?"

Her papa glowers at him - she's never seen him look like that before. He's actually kind of scary. "And then you arrest me straight afterwards? Or worse, in the middle of the play?" He shakes his head. "I don't think so Javert." He turns to go, to leave, and Cosette gasps, then slaps a hand over her mouth. She can't believe he's going to leave.

"Valjean," says Javert sharply, his hand landing on her papa's shoulder. Why does he keep calling him that?

Papa look up at him, bitter hatred in his eyes. Then he lets out a laugh. But not his normal one - a mean one, like when Brigitte had stolen her lunch and then lied to the teachers about it. "If you're so concerned about the play, maybe you should play the giant. You're a lot scarier than me."

Cosette isn't sure about that - there's not much between them as they glare at each other. But Papa's right - Javert would make a good giant. Maybe she should have asked him in the first place, instead of getting her papa involved.

Javert is the first to look away. "Look, what if I promise not to arrest you?"

Papa squints up at him suspiciously. "Why would you do that?"

Javert shrugs, looking embarrassed. "I like the kid. And she clearly cares about you." He snorts. "No accounting for taste, I guess."

"So you don't arrest me...ever?" asks Cosette's papa doubtfully.

Javert snorts. "Nice try, Valjean." He sighs, looking him up and down. "But I'll give you some time. A week," he says. "To make arrangements for the kid."

Papa glares. "Why do you care? Gone soft in your old age?" he taunts.

Javert shrugs uncomfortably. "No," he says. "I don't take pleasure in this, you know, Valjean."

"Could have fooled me." He shrugs Javert off his shoulder, thinking.

"Well?" Javert asks. "Is it a deal?" Then, leaning forward to whisper in his ear, so Cosette can't hear, "You know she's been hiding behind the costume rack this whole time, right?"

Her papa pales at whatever the policeman - Javert - says in his ear. "Alright," he says. And then raising his voice, "Cosette, you can come out now."

Cosette pops out from behind the costumes with an uncertain grin. "You're gonna be the giant?" she asks, eyes only for her papa. She gives Javert the cold shoulder - she'd only understood a fraction of the words that had just passed between her papa and this man, but she knew he wanted to arrest her papa. Her good, kind papa who had never done anything wrong. Cosette has changed her mind about liking him - she hates him, actually.

"Come on, papa," she says imperiously, ignoring Javert. "We're late."

She pulls him onstage and he stumbles over his lines and everyone stares at him. But that's okay because Cosette squeezes his hand and he rallies, carries on. At the end of the night, he brings the house down.

Javert disappears, and Cosette, forgetting she hates him now, can't help but feel a little disappointed.

True to his word, he doesn't appear to arrest her papa that night. Or the next. Or the next. Cosette soon forgets about him, although one day she thinks she sees him as she plays at the park, looking over at them thoughtfully, even sadly. She runs to tell her papa.

"Papa!" she yells. "Look, look!" She drags him towards the bench where Javert was sitting only moments ago, but he's gone.

The only thing he's left behind are three, possibly magic, beans.

Maybe it's Javert's idea of a joke.

[anxious-lee]

|| Lackadaisy (Pilot) Tickle Headcanons ||

A/N: I have ONLY seen the pilot as of now, so if any of these headcanons are ooc or even canon divergent, please be kind and take them with a grain of salt AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS 🫣

---

Rocky

-- cheeky ler 😏

-- we all know he lives to cause mischief, and what's more mischievous than this?

-- LOVES TO TICKLE PEOPLE

-- the grin on their face and the boisterous laughter both warm him up inside

-- plus he's just a little jester who likes to play games

-- teases are his greatest weapon

-- uses EVERY tease under the sun, including ones i havent even heard yet lol; baby talk, compliments, teasing about how much you like it, he does it all

-- don't even bother holding your laughter inside, he'll take personal offence and won't rest until you've given in

-- "ohoho come now, sweetheart, be sensible. do you really think you can keep from laughing when we BOTH know how ticklish you are~"

-- "you devilish little rascal! you got the drop on me... for a few seconds, that is. no matter; all is forgiven, right after you've been taught a lesson in tomfoolery from THE tomfool himself!"

-- sporadic scribbling and random pokes are his favorite tickle techniques

-- likes to pin the lee's arms and legs to keep them from squirming away

-- tickles freckle the most; he knows his poor cousin needs it

-- while he may not show it outwardly, it saddens him to hear freckle sad or self-deprecative; in these circumstances, his intent is more to help freckle than it is to entertain himself

-- he has a bad habit of not knowing when to quit and can tickle his lee half to death, but he usually snaps out of it when he hears the lee become breathless

-- tickling ivy is both relatively difficult and easy; on the one hand, she enjoys a good tickle fight, but on the other, she is just as, if not more, competitive than rocky is

Ivy

- she's a crafty little ler

- she'll commit to a full bit just to dupe her lee into making themselves open to tickles

- her favorite lee is freckle obviously

- her sweet beau needs a chance to let loose once in a while, and doing that for him is her favorite job

- she's also incredibly competitive, as mentioned earlier

- good luck trying to take her down in a tickle war, because she will fight to the very last breath; and once she's won? oh hell on earth, it is going to tickle

- her preferred method is, you guessed it! Raspberries!

- rip freckle

- she loves them mostly because it's hard to take anything seriously when you're being tickled by random fart noises lol. it's goofy and silly and helps the lee to relax by bringing down their walls

- she IS ticklish and somewhat enjoys being tickled, but usually only by freckle

- if it's anyone else, you probably won't even get the chance to tickle her

- teases with baby talk, also for the sake of not taking it too seriously

- her primary motivation to tickle is to have fun and bond with her friends

- she and rocky sometimes have tickle wars that go on FOREVER, meanwhile freckle is blushing on the side, very conflicted on whether to help or not

Freckle

- 100% lee

- he's too shy to tickle anyone unless it's Ivy, and even then he's very very gentle

- is indifferent to being tickled; he doesn't actively like it, but he never tells the ler to stop, so he does choose to let it happen, and besides, he can admit it's nice to laugh hard once in a while

- again, doesn't actually dislike the sensation, but his imposter syndrome hates it when someone gives him any kind of affection bc he doesn't feel he's worth it

- which, of course, just makes his friends tickle him more

- rocky is his most common ler; he often tickles poor freckle to get him to admit something nice about himself (or rocky lol)

- "don't be bashful, my careful cousin! give us a smile~"; "it's very simple, freckle, just repeat after me, 'rocky is a dashing, debonair Robin Hood'"

- ivy tickles him because it burns her up to see him put himself down or worry, so she takes it upon herself to lighten his spirits

- while she does start playfully forceful, she never makes it impossible for him to escape. she sits very gently on his hips and scratches lightly enough to give him breath; even with all of those mercies, freckle still doesn't fight her, not really.

- however hard it is for him to accept it, getting tickled by his friends makes his feel supported and loved ❤️

- panics immediately at the first sign of mischief

- will try to talk the ler out of tickling them

- and when that inevitably fails, he will bolt

- "nononononononoNONONO!"

- actually just yelps "no" and "please" constantly, mostly out of reflex

- "please what, freckle?" "I DOHONT KNOW"

- his laugh is so contagious, full of heart belly laughs and bashful giggles

Mordecai

- HOOOOO BOY 😳

- ler

- idk if the comic displays him any differently but LOOK AT HIM

- an evil tickler

- touches you just softly enough to make it absolute torture

- uses maximum two fingers, teany tiny scritches

- the kind of ler to trail a claw from the base of your belly alllll the way up to the top 😖

- teases by reminding you constantly how utterly helpless and immobile you are, and his low, smooth voice makes it all the more unbearable

- watches you with his drilling eyes, making note of what places and what techniques wear you down the most

- most common lee would be his romantic partner (if he has one)

- I can't imagine what reason such a serious and somber man would have to tickle people, but I'll leave that up to you

- he is a little ticklish everywhere

- not ticklish enough to laugh, but enough to smile, which he'll fight as hard as he can

- most ticklish spot is his palms would you believe

- no one dares try to tickle him, they don't have a death wish

- even if they did try, they'd probably think he wasn't ticklish anyway

- serafine once tried to give him a quick tase to the side, but he doesn't laugh and she couldn't see his smile so she just assumed it didn't work. plus she got a death glare in response so that endeavor didn't last long

----

[seabreezeraincloud]

So I recently watched through all the major StarKid shows that are available on YouTube and decided to rank them from least favorite to favorite. This was really hard because most of them are just so good in their own way, but I did my best.

12. Me and My Dick

Yeah, this one wasn't for me. It definitely has heart, and I like the message of accepting both love and lust as normal and healthy aspects of attraction, but the whole premise was just too juvenile for me to really get past, personally.

11. ANI: A Parody

I had this really sinking feeling when I realized that the characters weren't going to be singing any of the songs. I can respect experimenting with the medium, but it felt less like a musical and more like a movie with licensed music that just happened to be performed on a stage. The plot also felt like a lot of nothing, and while the comedy writing was pretty good like any StarKid production, it wasn't enough to make up for it.

10. A Very Potter Sequel

The Potter musicals are pretty low on this list because I just don't have the nostalgia for them, but even with that in mind, I was a little disappointed with this after the first one. It's still good; it just couldn't "recapture the magic", so to speak. It goes on for too long, and Umbridge and Lucius, while they do get a few laughs, just can't compare to how iconic Voldemort was in the first one. Draco was easily the best part of this show for me.

9. Holy Musical B@man!

Even watching this in a time where I'm growing sick to death of superheroes and even superhero parodies, it's a pretty solidly fun show. Good jokes, good songs, good performances. I probably would've enjoyed it more back in my Mainstream Nerd Culture phase that I went through shortly after this came out, but it's still pretty good.

8. A Very Potter Senior Year

A definite improvement over AVPS. Voldemort is back, and while he doesn't live up to his presence in the first one, he's still pretty great. I'm not sure why this recording is a performance at a con with the actors holding the scripts, but it didn't bother me at all. In fact, it kinda added to the charm. And I'll admit - even though I don't have any nostalgia for these shows - I kinda got a little teary-eyed towards the end.

7. A Very Potter Musical

Even with all the hype behind it, I honestly didn't have very high expectations for this show, but it ended up being lot better than I thought it would be. There's just something so...pure about it. For the group's first production, it's a really good start. Voldemort and his dynamic with Quirrell was amazing.

6. Starship

This one is just really cute and fun. Those first few minutes in I already just had a big smile on my face. The puppetry and sets were really pleasing to look at, and as usual, the songs were great - probably among my favorites. I also love how Little Mermaid-coded the story is. Bug is just such a Little Guy.

(If I had a nickel for every time I got really attached to a character named "Bug" played by a StarKid cast member, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice in one year, right?)

5. The Trail to Oregon

Peak StarKid silliness. It's hilarious, the songs are bangers, and it's all around just a great time. It kinda loses me near the end with all the fart noises, which is what knocks it down a bit, but most of it is such a blast.

4. Firebringer

I don't really have much of a reason as to why I put this show here other than that I guess I just really vibe with it. It has good music and humor like any StarKid show, but I also really appreciate how it's a female-centric story with some sapphic representation, even if it definitely could've been fleshed out better.

3. Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier

This is absolutely the best parody musical from StarKid's lineup, no contest. I may be biased because of how much of a Disney Person I am, but I love all the little references and nods (although the whole "2D department" thing just makes me sad, come on Disney, I am still angrily tapping my foot). It's not only a fun parody, but a really clever and heartfelt one too.

2. Black Friday

So when I first watched this back in 2020, I liked it, but I was a little disappointed in it compared to its predecessor. However, watching it again after some time has passed...it still has its flaws that I could go on about, but its strengths far outweigh them. I was debating on whether I wanted to put it this high because I don't necessarily think it's better than, say, Twisted, but as a Hatchetfield fan, I just simply like it more. It's a really impressive production, and it's grown on me a lot.

1. The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

This is the first StarKid musical I ever saw, and it's still my favorite. Do I even need to explain myself? It's just a great concept with a great execution. S-tier, 10/10, no notes.

[fartenthusiastwriter]

The Saga of Billy Boy Part 9 - The Move In

Billy Boy is back! I apologize for my hiatus, but I have finished the next installment! Please enjoy Will and Clay's first night of Frank and Bomber staying with them. If you need it, here is a masterpost with links to all parts of TSOBB.

- - - - -

I ended up working until 6:30. As soon as I was done, I quickly shut down the computer and collected my things to go home. Frank had left at 5, but I saw that his grocery list was quite long, so I figured he’d be taking a while at the store. Still, I rushed to get home. 

I parked in the lot, and made my way up to our apartment. When I entered, I was met with the smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen. I followed the aroma to find Clay and Frank in the kitchen. Their bodies were facing each other with Clay’s back to me, but he had turned at the sound of the front door. 

The wonderful smile of Clay’s spread across his face. “You’re home!” He exclaimed, as he walked toward me. Clay grabbed my head and leaned in for a sloppy kiss. I could taste the beer on his breath. As he pulled away, I smiled back at him. I noticed several empty beer bottles on the counter, with two half full. 

“Hey, babe.” I replied, followed by a look toward Frank. “I’m surprised you got here so quickly. You had quite the grocery list.” 

“I used the app to do a grocery order pick up.” Frank explained. “I was only at the store for about ten minutes.” I realized that meant Frank had likely been here for over an hour alone with Clay. “Fortunately, dinner is almost ready.” 

I took a deep whiff of the kitchen now that I was at the source. The food smelled wonderful. “What’re we having?” 

“Well, we’re having broccoli chicken rice.” Frank said motioning to himself and Clay. “At your size, this food would mess you up. You better have something else for dinner.” 

Frank’s face had an aha moment as he turned to open the freezer. “I just remembered I did throw something in the order for you.” Frank pulled out a bag of dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. 

Clay drunkenly burst out into laughter as I grimaced at Frank. “I put regular ones in the order, but they were out apparently.” Frank defended. “I figured chicken nuggets were still chicken nuggets and Clay mentioned you loved them.”

It was true. I supposed it was a harmless mix up. Frank set them out onto a pan and put them in the oven. “They’ll take about ten minutes, which is how long our food has.” Frank looked at me with a smirk. “That’s just enough time for Bomber to tell you how excited he is to be your new roommate.” 

I was confused by this behavior from Frank in front of Clay. I looked at Clay to see how he reacted. He looked back at me with that same smile.

“It’s okay, babe.” Clay said, and leaned in to kiss me. “Don’t let me ruin the fun.” He whispered in my ear, reaching his hand down the front of my pants. “If you don’t mind, I’d love to join.” He finished as he started kissing behind my ear. 

I couldn’t have been hornier. Getting to sniff Frank’s farts and fuck around with Clay sounded incredibly sexy. “Of course,” I replied. Frank approached us. He grabbed my head and kissed me aggressively. I realized that was the first time I kissed Frank. He pulled away and did the same to Clay. 

“Go to the bedroom,” Frank commanded. “I have an idea.” I traded a look with Clay and he seemed turned on, starting to walk toward the bedroom. I followed him with Frank behind me. “Lay down on your back, Billy Boy.” 

Clay giggled. “That’s a silly nickname.”

“Bomber likes to show his affection through pet names.” Frank teased, as he began to take his clothes off. I did as I was told and laid down on the bed. “Good boy. Now, while Bomber releases the awful smells I’ve been sparing you to Billy Boy, how about you suck him off so he can really enjoy it?” Frank asked Clay.

A smile spread across Clay’s face; he quickly went to my crotch, unbuttoning my pants and pulling them down to my ankles with my underwear. He grabbed my already hard cock and gently kissed the head. I pushed my head back into the pillow in ecstasy. 

Frank climbed onto the bed, placing both feet on each side of my head. I watched as he slowly crouched down and the residual stench of farts and sweat wafted toward my face, a hello from Bomber to my nose. The hairs of Bomber’s crack made first contact with my face on my nose and I took a big whiff. Bomber steadily engulfed my head, until all I could see was black and all my senses were focused on him. I wiggled my face, searching for his hole with my mouth until I found it. I longingly kissed Bomber’s mouth, realizing just how much I had missed him in the time we were apart. It puckered, but no gas came out, as if Bomber was simply returning the kiss. 

“Bomber is so happy to see you missed him as much as he missed you.” Frank emphasized, jiggling his ass all over my face. “As much as he loves kissing, he has a lot to tell you and you’re a much better listener with your nose.” With that, Frank leaned forward, moving Bomber’s mouth to my nose. I immediately dug in and sniffed loudly. I felt a couple of giggles come from Clay’s throat with my cock still deep inside. 

“You better get used to this. Now that we’re living here, Bomber won’t be able to resist Billy Boy.” With that, Frank tensed and

PRFFFFT

“Bomber is an early bird, so Billy Boy doesn’t need an alarm anymore. Bomber will be happy to wake him up with breakfast in bed.” Frank grunted.

PRFRFRFFFT

“Bomber insists that we carpool to work together now. We can even replace my seat in the car so Billy Boy can ride face to face with his lover.” 

BBRRRBRBRBRBT

“At dinner time, Bomber can tell Billy Boy about his day as I give Bomber the fuel to continue giving him what he loves so dearly.” 

PRT PRT PRRRRRRRT 

“Then at night, Bomber will lovingly tell Billy Boy a bedtime story.” 

FSSBRBRBRBRBRBRBT

“That’s how things are going to be around here now, whether you like it or not.” 

If I hadn’t been in such a horny bliss, I may have realized I wasn’t the one he was talking to. 

Frank coughed, flexing Bomber’s mouth against my nose. “Pee-you! Bomber’s sweet nothings are for you and you alone, Billy Boy.” Frank reprimanded, suddenly stern. “Men like Clay and I have no interest in your conversation. You need to learn to be a better listener.” Frank pushed hard against my head, further engulfing it and shoving my nose right up Bomber’s mouth, completely surrounded. My cock was throbbing as Clay continued sucking it.

I felt a slow hiss of gas ease into my nose. The gas having nowhere else to go, I had no choice but to inhale all of it. When I felt I couldn’t take anymore, it stopped and I managed to breath out my mouth. Once I was done, it started again. 

“Ahhhh, that’s much better, Billy Boy. You’re starting to learn your place.” Frank said, as he reached down and lightly petted the top of my head. At Frank’s gentle touch, I lost all control and shot down Clay’s throat. Like a pro, Clay swallowed it all despite the lack of warning. Frank remained in place, as Bomber continued to slowly whisper down my nose. 

Clay finished slurping up the last of my cum. “As much as I love the surprise treat, I was really hoping we were gearing up to put that cock up my ass.” Clay admitted, almost bashfully. 

Frank finally rose off my face. “Well fortunately, there’s another cock here fully capable of doing that.” He approached Clay, unbuttoning Clay’s pants.

“That’s true…” Clay said, but looked over at me. 

Frank followed his gaze. “Come on, the boy got to get off, why don’t the men?” Frank teased Clay, as he was stroking Clay’s cock. “Billy Boy would be happy to watch me fuck you, isn’t that right?” He asked, looking over at me. 

“Of course!” I said without hesitation. “It’d be hot.” I added. I wasn’t sure why I was so quick to agree when I really did have some reservations. But I wasn’t lying when I said it’d be hot given how hard I am when I’ve dreamed about just that. 

“Well okay, then yeah let’s do it.” Clay agreed, pulling off his pants before laying on the foot of the bed. 

Frank grabbed some lube and lathered it over his cock as Clay raised his legs to show Frank his ass. I watched from where I lay as Frank thrust into Clay.

Frank applied more lube to his hand and slowly started jacking Clay’s cock to the rhythm of his hips. “How does that feel?” He asked Clay. 

“Amazing.” Clay moaned, closing his eyes and relaxing his face in pure bliss as his body jostled. Once Frank saw Clay’s eyes were closed, he looked into mine. If my cock hadn’t already started to get a second wind, I may have seen the pure malice in his eyes. 

Clay’s moans began to rise in volume and as he sputtered cum all over his torso when Frank, maintaining our eye contact, said to us both: “You’re mine, now.”

- - - - -

Check out The Saga of Billy Boy Part 10 - A New Smell here!

[jurassicsickfics]

5, F, and 😣 

I can’t decide on the sickie/caretaker soooo author’s choice! (I love your writing btw :D)

I’m thinking maybe Sickie ate something that upset their stomach before having to go to a college lecture. They don’t think much of it; some gurgles here and there, but nothing too noticeable… until they have to start muffling nauseous burps, which draws the attention of Caretaker and a few other students. Comfort ensues🥰

Sure! Hope you enjoy!

Quick disclaimer that I know a few of these characters died before college but we're just gonna pretend they didn't for this fic. Lol.

Lynda knew good and well that she shouldn't have eaten those eggs for breakfast this morning. Without fail, eggs always made her sick to her stomach, and yet, because she was in a rush and they were the first thing she could grab out of the fridge, she ate them anyway. She had barely even arrived at campus before her belly was feeling bloated and bubbly. She didn't think much of it, in fact, being the preppy cheerleader that she was, her biggest concern was how she was going to keep from burping or farting during class. Little did she know, she'd soon be longing for the days of simple embarrassing gas.

As Lynda made her way to her usual spot in class, her boyfriend, Bob, caught her attention.

"Mornin' babe." She cood, giving Bob a kiss on the cheek. He smirked and said, "There's my darling baby." The two giggled in that silly was that young lovers do as they sat in side-by-side desks. The two talked, waiting for their professor to make an appearance, (she was always late), and, suddenly, Lynda's stomach contributed a loud gurgle to the conversation. Bob stopped mid sentence. "Was that your stomach??" He asked. Lynda's cheeks lit up in an embarrassed blush. "Y-yeah, it was..." she answered sheepishly.

Bob gave the blond a concerned look. "You feel ok? Your stomach isn't usually that vocal."

Lynda shrugged. "Yeah. I'm ok. I just...ate eggs this morning, that's all."

Bob sighed deeply. "Lyn, you know eggs make you sick. Why'd you do that?"

Lynda gave an embarrassed shrug. "I dunno...I'm an idiot I guess. But...it'll be fine, I'm sure..."

Laurie and Annie had come sprinting in seconds before they would've been considered late. They sat in the desks near Lynda and Bob, and the 4 young adults greeted each other quietly as the lecture began.

They were only 25 minutes into the excruciatingly boring lecture when Bob began to notice Lynda squirming uncomfortably in her seat. She rubbed her belly when she thought no one was looking, and occasionally burping as quietly as possible into her fist. Laurie, who was sitting next to her on the other side, mouthed, "you ok?", as she noticed too.

Lynda lied with a nod of her head, and tried to take a deep breath. She could barely even get the air in, though, because her belly felt so ridiculously full. She'd never felt so bloated in her life.

Within another few minutes, she was ready to throw in the towel on touching it out. She was so nauseous she thought for sure she was going to throw up. She didn't even mind the thought, actually. In fact, a good puke sounded like it'd make her feel better right about now. Now to work up the courage to tell Bob she wasn't feeling well.

She nudged his leg with her foot, and the curly haired boy turned to her. He gave her a look that said, "What is it?" Lynda scooted closer and whispered in his ear, "My stomach hurts...I need a belly rub...please..."

Bob, being the sweet and caring guy he was, was quick to oblige. He scooted as close to Lynda as he could, now more thankful than ever that the classroom's desks were so close together, and began to massage circles into her stomach. The cheerleader gave a soft, pained moan and buried her face in her boyfriend's shoulder, burping into his shirt.

This was a red flag for Bob; Lynda never allowed herself to burp out loud like that, unless she felt terrible.

As Lynda cuddled up to Bob, she suddenly felt Laurie's hand patting her back. "I told you not to eat eggs anymore..." Laurie murmured. Lynda's eyes widened and she turned around to look at Laurie. "How...how'd you know?" Laurie shrugged with a sympathetic smile. "Well, eggs are about the only thing that makes you sick like this, so..." she replied in a whisper. Lynda nodded in agreement; Laurie certainly had a point.

It was then that Annie noticed the commotion. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Lyn's got an upset stomach. " Came Bob's hushed reply. Annie gave a sympathetic click of her tongue and began to run her fingers through Lynda's silky, blonde hair.

Between burping and breathing through cramps, a thought occurred to Lynda.

"Well...obviously feeling sick in class isn't ideal...but being pampered by my awesome friends and boyfriend certainly does help..."

[box-dwelling]

I keep seeing stuff in the AA fandom talking about how like, some takes are surface level and I do just want to say that while deep interesting analytical takes are excellent and I enjoy them greatly and love applying interesting frameworks to my silly lawyer game. I think the basic takes are also good and ok too. I think presuming every single post an from AA fan on tumblr dot com has to have an academic level of analysis because the text can absolutely facilitate that is maybe a little extreme.

Like media analysis has frameworks and lenses that you can switch out and apply to get new and interesting results and it's ok if that's something you don't always have on when posting because if you do default to one frame work always, you risk missing all the interesting stuff you can get from the other frameworks. But that means you have to be consciously applying them, so its ok if sometimes you also are not doing that. Having the ability to do that is a valuable skill that will enrich your life and media consumption but also its ok if sometimes you just want to not think that deep for a post and say something surface level. Just because you do one doesn't mean you aren't capable of doing the other. This isn't an academic setting, sometimes a post can just be a thought you have.

I want the more academic stuff, fuck I was just looking at a thing talking about hegalian dialectics in AA, a thing I've been internally screaming about the existence of but feel woefully under qualified to discuss so hadn't and I'm so glad to see someone more knowledge than me put words to it. But I think we shouldn't expect it of everyone.

Plus while complex media analysis is wonderful and I eat it up, it's not something everyone is trained in to the extent others are. I like to think I'm better at it that a lot of people I know irl and have had a decent amount of study into it but don't forget that this is something people can and do dedicate their lives to and not everyone in fandom is going to be one of those people.

Idk I just think it's unfair to expect everyone in fandom to have every post have an academic level of rigour. If someone just wants to say "Hey so those von karma siblings, pretty fucked up what happened to them huh," then I think that's OK too. It's different if they're actively misinterpreting the text by leaving shit out (eg ignoring the themes of AA4 to think Phoenix is genuinely uncaring) but I just think it's ok if a post isn't that deep. People are doing this for fun and we can't expect everyone to be functioning at max brain power for every damn post.

Stuff gets popular randomly. One of my most popular posts was a shitpost scene I wrote at like 3am because I thought it was funny. Some of my posts I put a ton of thought and effort and analysis into get no traction. It just depends on random factors like timing or which mutuals find it good enough to reblog. It's the nature of the way social media is. This isn't a meritocracy. Just because someone's brain fart gets popular doesn't mean its the only analysis they're capable of

[countthereds]

reasons I smoke:

1) stress relief

2) I look cool, i like the way the smoke curls up and the way I look with a cigarette in hand

3) it's gender affirming, i smell like a man and I have a deeper voice

4) tobacco taste nice, shisha is preferable to cigarettes flavour wise but I still like tobacco (i should try that one coffee that promises to have hints of tobacco in it)

5) it's something I can do because I have decided to do. Nothing my parents envision for their "pretty little girl". It works entirely against that shitty image they have of me as a sanctimonious woman who has a stick up her arse. I'm not _flat_ like that. and while I can play that stereotype well, i'm so sick of always having to hide myself from my family.

even if I _do_ try to communicate, it doesn't work. they don't want to see me anything else, so I only have to prove it to myself. and mentally "proving" it to myself is not enough, verbally is nowhere near enough, I Need to be out doing things that break the stupid puritanical image they cast on me.

6) I'm comfortable doing it. Both mum and dad were chainsmokers. I know the different brands, i know what the average price of a pack is having to look anything up. I know what kinds I am likely to like.

7) it's socially inoffensive. Nobody looks twice at someone smoking

8) it's cheaper than other things

9) the fallout of it is not horrible. my parents find out I smoke, they get pissed, so what? even if a cousin does, who _cares?_ It's not sth to get disowned over or get religious sermons over

10) I can store it easily in my room. in my bag, i can get it from any grocery store, nbd. Life is easy

11) I smell Nice, i didn't think i would enjoy the smell tobacco leaves on my body but i do

12) i made my boyfriend cum just with my voice today, which was deeper and hoarser than usual bc i smoked last night

13) It doesn't make me silly like alcohol. I am a happy drunk, and while that is nice, I don't like how i end up more trusting

14) alcohol fucks with my meds. I can only have a tiny bit.

15) it fits the moody aura, it affirms an image in my head. I look more like myself with it.

16) cigs are cheaper than shisha, and they're easier to carry around, cheaper than vape, and look cooler lmao.

17) the withdrawals are not as bad as other stubstances

18) I can't keep popping anti-anxiety pill every time I need to calm the fuck down, nor can I go rub one out, and sometimes even physically managing anxiety and stress doesn't work

19) I can just step out to smoke a bit and not come back absolutely silly and hugging everyone. it fits

20) the sting of smoke balances out the relief of nicotine

21) it tempers my apetite. I always get more hungry when stressed. I need to get rid of that and I can't just go bust a move whenever I want to relax

reasons i should quit after this pack:

1) I'm healing from surgery, and it would suck to ruin all my progress for smokes

2) I'm training for a marathon for fuck's sake

3) I never told Lee

4) I promised to be healthy

5) i don't think using cigs as a bit of self control/self harm move is the best mentality to start Any habit with

6) it will definitely affect my medications and my hormones and the health of my teeth

7) it's expensive in the long run

8) I can't smoke at work

9) i want to be able to handle my anxiety without substances, because i want to be able to have that much control over myself

10) I want to live a long life with my darling

11) I don't want to ruin my lungs

12) I want to be better to the environment than that

13) I want to not be part of the problem

14) I don't want to be a hypocrite. I'm doing this to lash out against the current situation, but I most definitely do Not want to be a smoker forever

15) smokers actually stink, tobacco might smell nice, the rest of that crap getting metabolised through their bodies is Not

16) my farts stink sth fierce rn

17) it can make me more likely to get sick in winter

18) my tits hurts whenever I smoke, i did Not pay a ton of money for my to fuck it up for a short term thrill

19) I'm Better than that, I'm better than relying on a cig for relief, I just need to find a way to do that. I'm sick of suffering through anxiety, i want a way to make it go away

20) I want to be able to donate blood (this stops me from getting tattoos, too)

21) I want to be healthy, that mystical wonder of "healthy" where I can run around freely no problem and where I can swim laps at 80 years od age and not be worn into pieces

22) I want to be a role model to the kids, someone to look up to. I don't think I could look them in the face and lie about having never smoked a single cigarette in my life anymore.

23) nicotine IS mood altering, just bc it doesn't make me silly doesn't mean it doesn't change me. I do Not want to be more irritable

24) I CAN take ashwagandha, which is cheaper and better for me, AND longer lasting and has a better effect, even on my depression and doesn't fuck with my blood pressure

[kicksnscribs]

Spent the majority of my day setting up my school laptop and attempting to get rid of as much bloatware that I possibly could without breaking the entire thing while simultaneously playing nothing but Monster Hunter Stories 2 when I should have been working on other things isn't exactly the best feeling ever but it is what it is.

I'm in the final week of my core classes and soon Ill be able to take the art and 3d fundamentals that I've been looking forward too but i cant help but think that I'm walking into a dragon's den of sorts. I feel like i'm underestimating just HOW much work is going to go into these classes and i'm kind of apprehensive at the thought.

So i'm just gonna take some time and ramble for a little while so i can get used to this new keyboard setup and see what I can uncover when I type out my thoughts

I feel like i'm being selfish with my goals, in that I'm only going through with this so i can actually force myself to learn these concepts since i lack the ability to do so on my own either through mental illness or just pure laziness. I just want to learn this stuff for the sake of learning it so i can make my silly little animatics and game revamps and fart around with this head-world that I've started to work on [of which i really need to get into the habit of writing the ideas down so i can start working on the field guide]

Like I had this class that made me write down all of my goals and while others wanted to make these grand changes in the industry and all that I simply said that I want to make stuff for myself. If i have something that others enjoy then great! But for the most part i don't expect my ideas to take off or to even be noticed. I just want to get the ideas out of my head so i can play with them, see what they look like and daydream about stuff that will never happen bc I just hate this reality that I'm forced to live in so much that I want an escape.

Idk i just want to create for the sake of creating or something. I'm not really comfortable with sharing ideas since a lot of times nobody really comments on them or they are just way out of my league with the world-building and i just feel like a toddler compared to them. Not to say that I don't have good ideas, they are just so remarkably tailored to my interests that i don't think anybody can relate to them so now i'm debating on keeping them to myself and just posting art and writing that's commission/work/school based rather than any actual fan work.

I was looking into getting an apartment in the next year if by some chance a miracle happens to allow that, but what with my bills piling up and my car in constant need of repairs [this time its new tires] it's starting to put a damper on that dream. My paycheck is just being nibbled to death by small thing after small thing and I no longer have any money for anything that isn't food or bills. I still need to buy new jeans since ALL of them now have holes in the crotch [which by the way I should be mending a few of them now]. I wish there was some way to afford the luxuries but for right now it's just not possible.

I did find out that money [or lack thereof] is one of my depression triggers, which when you think about it may be a lot of peoples triggers, but i'm starting to veer back down into that level of hopelessness that comes with the general unsatisfaction that is found with living a boring ass lonely life with no money to go out and do new things. The decision to go back to school is a good one imho, but i would be lying if i didn't say that i am not dreading the time when it is time to start repaying that loan.

either way there's a lot more to get off of my chest but i think i will stop there for now. If you've read this thanks, and you're not obligated to respond to this or anything i just really needed to get used to this keyboard and get some things out of my mind before they started to reek is all

[seasideretreat]

Decisions

I maintain nonetheless that we must ultimately conclude Sartre's whole philosophy is a bit numbing. People speak about analysis paralysis: I suppose that is the essence of Sartrianism.

Why do I like IT? Because it is animational. It gives a soul to the world. Sure, you can design eco-friendly power plants, but that is just going to throw more buildings into the world, buildings where nothing happens: on a computer, you can play games and music and you can watch movies or read books - animation. Of course, you're gonna wonder, what is the world going to be without the substance of carpentry, physics and chemistry? And the answer is: information. But we do need some substance of course, but I nevertheless feel that if we stop believing in computer science is the day we lose it.

Now for some philosophy: if the whole world consists of atoms, and robots could become infinitely more advanced, what makes it so that humans are sapient and computers are not? Maybe this is the killer question that is the reason religion seems so silly nowadays. We are starting to see that there is little magical about our bodies. We are just machines that are incredibly highly developed. Yet I instinctively feel there are tons of problems with that notion as well. Edsger Dijkstra said that the question whether machines can think is comparable to whether submarines can swim. Clearly, that invites us to think about really advanced water engines that can mimic swimming. So it really seems that thinking can become mechanized. Nevertheless, I gather something is faulty about this. Thinking is connected to mental activity, just like living, writing, reading, speaking and dancing. We have trouble assigning such notions to animals, even though we can see that animals do many lively activities. Despite that, we can't say that animals have minds like we do, simply because they don't speak. We usually ascribe this to their brain-capacity, but some animals with highly advanced brains don't seem to speak either, viz. the octopus or the elephant. Of course the notable exception is dancing. We do say that bees dance, sometimes. Also, singing is an exception, because we do say that whales sing. It seems we are just frantically guarding this notion of speech to keep ourselves in a position of superiority over the animals.

If animals can think, that says nothing about whether robots can think. A striking taciturnity. Kurt Vonnegut once quipped that we are on this Earth to "fart around", i.e. dilly-dally, which seems weirdly true - and maybe it is also a little tragic. Robots have a singular purpose. They can't skylark like humans can. However, we don't really have to do anything to animate the world. We just have to wake, or watch which is the same word. On the other hand, I think it is hard to stay awake when we've got nothing to do. And that brings us back to that primordial question: what to do? And I always answer this with: help people go on holidays. Of course, if everybody did that the world would descend into anarchy, but it can be all right for a while until you figure out what to do, I mean it really is an inexhaustible industry. The world is a dangerous place. Everybody needs to eat. But we can't all be farmers; that's how things used to be, sure, but people farm more efficiently now. I mean, I want to be better with IT, but I don't know if I'll aim at making money from it. Right now I work for the mail, but that can't last forever, and I don't want it to last forever. I don't even really enjoy it.

There was a time when people aimed at being polymaths, the homo universalis. Good in math, good in languages, good in arts, good in sports maybe even, maybe even good at warfare. Leonardo da Vinci is the most important exponent of this, and he wasn't probably that perfect in the last analysis; but I don't suppose polmathists want to be perfect, they just want to be cultivated. Cicero said you have to be a fool to dance. He also said that a house without books was a house without a soul. Certainly, conversation often consists merely of talk, but I do wonder if dancing cannot be a good way to animate the world. The Dutch author Gerard van het Reve said too that his books were meant to "liberate people from the material world." I've just made the same point for computers. But surely there is more to life than working and otiose conversation. But I don't study computer science to animate the world, I just do it because it clears my head. I just need to have something to fix my attention on. As I said, to animate the world, all you need do is wake (that is to say, watch). But I am not anti-religion or anything; you know religion does all these rituals right, that do seem to serve the purpose of animating the world. But it is probably not per se up to us to instigate such celebrations, which are beyond our control. Computers are simpler. That reminds of a quote by John von Neumann: people think mathematics is complicated because they don't realize how complicated life is. Yeah, it really seems like priest is such an interesting job. Doing those rituals really connects you to all those people, and you're personally involved in all those theological disputations that somehow connect to the things you do in the church: it's a lot. But, the real question is what is the soul of a city? Because obviously being a priest is peanuts compared to the vast totality of the society - even though I do think it is a fine job. And the thing is, you should just focus on the task at hand. Animation is not for nothing tied to silly children's entertainers. You could just do random things to animate the world, but that would be foolish, and you could draw silly faces and do weird things, but that would also be foolish. So it's best to just focus on the task at hand. Sometimes that will be IT, and sometimes that will be talking to your neighbour or enjoying a cup of tea. Or if you're a priest, it might be taking a confession from a vexed fellow.

[newedensgarden]

To be an Idiot

To be an Idiot - P1 MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR TW FOR SEVERAL THEMES.

https://youtu.be/8orOcI6N_tE It had been a week or two since the brain injury. Wesley still wasn't quite ready to talk about what had happened. His family and friends were trying to support that. It was growing difficult. He hadn't been able to get back to work yet. He hadn't been able to get back into the director's chair just yet. Speaking of chairs, he was having to use one. Wheeling himself everywhere for a bit, refusing to accept assistance from anyone unless it was Mamma Moriah. He felt...well. As his own hounddog of a Daddy used to tell him "The Old and the Weak are doomed. You have no idea what it is to suffer like I have, shaa." What a real piece of work he was. Moriah met him once. He even really liked her. Never again.  The man wheeled down the marble and stone hallway of the Anne Rice house that was in the heart of New Orleans. Been out of the hospital for a week or two, after the memory trigger day. It felt like a different house somehow. Perhaps it was the different perspectives or he just wanted to redecorate or what, Wesley wasn't entirely sure. The old fart wheeled down the middle hallway on the lower floor, sighing and seeing a faux fur coat on the railway of the vintage staircase. West was not a man of many complaints. But he had been raised by several women to be a southern gentlemen. Hell, before he transitioned they treated him like a southern belle. So he got the best and worst traits from both sides of the south. He grabbed the jacket and folded it up, standing up out of the wheelchair which was definitely possible, but not doctor recommended. Moriah unfortunately caught her husband walking instead of rolling. She came out of the kitchen, sweating from the fact she was trying to learn to cook. She popped his arm in a playful manner. "You better sit your ass down, old man. Before I sit on you."  West grunted and retorted, not realizing how mean his next statement would come across. But they griped like an old married couple despite only tying the knot a while ago.  "You sure? You might crush me. You are carrying three babies round in'ere." He teased, emphasizing his accent to be silly while he gave her a silly smack on the ass. A ripe peach sitting at the bottom of a sweet picked pear. She gasped and bowed up as if she were going to fight. Anyone who had spent anytime in their household had quickly figured out. They talked a lot of shit but nobody ended up getting hurt.  West spent years being around men. Trying to be the most masculine. Literally in the marines. Fighting, bootcamp, sports, working out, wrestling. When he found out he had not one but two boys who would eventually grow to enjoy similar masculine things, he was also burdened with an overabudance of joy in the form of not just twins and a pair of triplets. All girls. So his femininity could shine with them.  Moriah however... "Come on. Either way, it looks bad. If I win, I beat up a cripple and you fought a preggo woman." She teased, sticking out the tongue that was stained blue from candy the kids brought her earlier. He leaned onto the back of his wheelchair, huffing and puffing like an angry little rhino.  She jumped into his lap. "Give up yer guns, fellas. Slide 'em over." Westley laughed and nodded. Dimples creasing his stubble cheeks. He was starting to get a pepper beard again. "Very good impression of me. Your fake southern accent is getting much better, moonshine." "it was from Cowboy's and Angels. DId you catch that?" Moriah asked, feigning offense that he didn't get his own damn movie reference. They put up both their fisticuffs at each other. Their eighteen year old padded down the staircase that creaked with every third step. The tan boy moved past his parents and got something to drink, going back up stairs and calling out "Their being weird again!"  

  To be an Idiot - P2 MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR TW FOR SEVERAL THEMES.

based on a darker twisted version of this scene, which me and Mo just adore: https://youtu.be/Hbw9om0u2C4 this current drabble references this other drabble I did and also continues the story of 'GIgi' a bit: https://www.roleplayer.me/view_bulletin.php?bulletin_id=2471951 The room was white. Sterile white. Off white. This would typically piss West off as soon as he opened big brown eyes. But instead, he sat up and saw the nurse. But then spotted Moriah coming in, a baby boy on her hip. She was staring at him with a deadpan. The baby looked happy to see someone he recognized. West hopped up and out of the hospital bed, walking closer to the woman with a black ponytail and reddened face with bloodshot blues. West reverted to his twenty year old self. "I feel like a tornado in a trailer park." He spoke for the first time. Southern accent dripped thick off each syllable. He took some closer steps towards Moriah who stepped back again in caution. "Wesley Alexander..." This caused him to stop, tucking strong caloused hands into his pockets. But they weren't pockets. He was wearing a hospital gown that he hadn't noticed. He then winced and raised fingers to the side of his temple which was bandaged. "Hello gorgeous. What's your name?" "Mister Mason." The nurse spoke up. He kept rolling. "How would you like to ride home on a real cowboy." The woman with black hair and sweatpants passed off the little boy in her arms to the eighteen year old with curls. "I got a six pack of cold ones, on ice. And my damn roommates out all night..." They stepped into the hallway and he stopped, blinking rapidly for a moment and gripping his head again. Moriah placed her manicured hand against his chest through the thin paper hospital gown. "So, you can scream my name as loud as you want all night, sugar..." After West went on his speil he felt a bit dizzy and leaned against the hospital hallway wall. No one was in the hallway but Moriah and him now. Doctors too busy, nurses wandering. Moriah cupped the side of his face, her eyes rimming with tears. "I hate to do this to you, Daddy. But the therapist recommended it..."

To be an Idiot - P3 MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR TW FOR SEVERAL THEMES.

Moriah cupped the side of his face, her eyes rimming with tears. "I hate to do this to you, Daddy. But the therapist recommended it..." She reached into the pocket of her clothes that, as he looked closer, realized it might of belonged to his closet. She lifted a necklace up out of the collar. Not a necklace. A dogtag. She placed it into the palm of West's hand before also pulling out a polaroid. Him in the very same hospital. With three babies in the woman's arms, two boys on either side of what appeared to be an exhausted West, and two girls who looked exactly alike on the other side. One of them held up what looked to be a rock and roll symbol with her hand. West blinked a bit, not wanting to think about the bad things. So he forced a smile, dimples and all. "Well, who is this pretty bunch I wonder?" The woman with black hair then covered her face and tried to control her emotion, failing. Wesley saw his two brothers come down the hall. The younger one hugged him quickly. The other one stood beside Moriah and tried to comfort her in his own awkward way. Just a pat to the shoulder. "Is it working? Are you doing what Doctor Tony said?" Moriah rolled her bloodshot eyes, seemingly more blue and bright than before. She glared up at the person who was clearly her brother-in-law. "her name is Doctor Liara T'Soni. Be respectful." But West was having trouble remembering anything before....well. Him. "hey, have you guys seen Ethan anywhere? I have been meaning to ask him--" West stopped, trailing off. Furrowing brows. Something in the back of his brain was clicking. Like someone was trying to spark the light on a stove and it just wasn't going, but you could definitely smell the gas. Moriah reached out and reopened his palm to show the dogtag she gave him. It read

MASON-STILLS

WESLEY A. POS

666999000

USMC, L

CHRISTIAN. ISH.

Wesley stared at it, trying to put the pieces together. This was his dogtags from the marines. It had his name, social, blood type, even gas mask size. He stared, almost zoned out in the hallway still leaning against the hallway wall with the support now of his younger brother. They called him Billy the Kid. "Ethan." he repeated.

  To be an Idiot - P4 MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR TW FOR SEVERAL THEMES.

Wesley stared at it, trying to put the pieces together. This was his dogtags from the marines. It had his name, social, blood type, even gas mask size. He stared, almost zoned out in the hallway still leaning against the hallway wall with the support now of his younger brother. They called him Billy the Kid. "Ethan." he repeated. "Ethan is dead." Jesse, the eldest said. Moriah hit him in the abdomen with one of her rosegold rings. Her last anniversary present was about to be used to beat her brother-in-law. Wesley staggered back, gripping his head. It hurt to remember. It sort of hit him in one fell swoop. Moriah's sad eyes looked up at him. She looked into his eyes. She saw them change. Dark chocolate of a young twenty year old kid who is trying to prove his masculinity. It faded, melted into the cold coffee tones with slight flecks of gold. The gold pieces she put into his eyes, simply by knowing each other. She saw her husband come back and she let out the quietest little laugh. "Heh!" Moriah bit her bottom lip, now bruised and abused from nerves. Both Mason brothers looked over at Moriah, wondering what the laugh was. "How are you doing, dummy?." West let out a sigh and reached his arm out, pulling her into a strong but firm embrace. He kissed the top of her black ponytail, skimming bandaged fingertips through her ponytail. "Better, now that I see your goofy face." Wesley spoke right back. His eyes and seemingly his voice aged almost instantly. The trials of having seveire PTSD. The brothers helped him up to a normal standing position and helped him basically wobble his way back into his hospital room. Apparently more people had filed in since he woke up. Riley and Avery were in the corner, looking over their phone. The freshly four-year-old Armie was in the bed where his father just was. Probably because it was warm and smelled like his Dad. Then of course the rotten teenager was pacing nervously, asking the nurse a billion questions about triplets and how they function.