#and far away from the heightened version we see in the show as if they were truly two twenty somethings living rn <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[punishmp3]

heres a link to the first chapter (21k words) of my Rhaenicent modern AU in case anyones interested!

includes things like: Alicent POV, them reuniting after years of no contact, Rhaenyra flirting pretty much from the moment they reunite, a slow-ish burn but a decent amount of romance/eroticism down the line <3 amongst other things, this chapter is the intro, their backstory, and the first two encounters :)

[basiclupineurology]

why troy & abed were doomed from the start

i'm back to say i've come back to community and i've been thinking a lot about the state of troy and abed's relationship through the seasons and why they work so well comedically but, somehow, the writers weren't able to sustain their friendship to the end. (not even talking about s5 here. the cracks started showing in s3.)

the obvious answer is that sitcoms tend to go down in quality over time, the characters becoming flanderised versions of themselves and losing who they are, but i can't really say that - barring the gas leak season - abed or troy lost who they were for the entirety of the time they were on the show together.

i think what doomed them from the start was that they were not only comedic partners in a sitcom, but best friends. there was a tangible realness that underscored all their actions, beyond the cheesy heightened melodrama of most sitcom relationships (platonic or otherwise) that audiences could recognise and wanted to see develop. so, develop they did.

but troy and abed both appear in the show at a very interesting point in their lives. every member of the main cast, of course, has major change in the trajectory of their lives at greendale, but troy and abed in particular come off several years of being a kind of half-person. troy spends most of his life playing into the character of the popular jock, someone who is still inside him throughout the series but becomes increasingly diminished, a voice in his ear rather than this all-consuming persona. abed is who his father wants him to be. he's never had any friends, spent most of his childhood bullied and most of his adulthood thus far pursuing his interests in a vacuum and inside his own mind, with no one to share them with. for lack of a better term, troy and abed come of age throughout the run of community. they figure out who they are as individuals.

and, frankly, as geothermal escapism put it best, it's impossible to figure out who you are on your own when you're being consumed by another person. i'm not saying that either one of them is guilty of this, but what started as a close but casual 'fling' of sorts between the two of them became increasingly intense to the point of overwhelm, and as they started moving away from their early-season caricatures and becoming complex and flawed and human, things between them naturally became more intense on a deeply emotional level. the writers recognised this. never crossing the line into romance, they had to express troy and abed's love for each other through every other method under the sun. we see them, in their own misguided and silly ways, sacrifice what they want for each other over and over again. until it's too much.

too much to believe? too much to handle?

troy and abed remind me of that very best friend you have as a queer kid. you're stepping out from your parents' or your siblings' shadows for the first time and here's this person to catch you. you love them more than words can say. then they're gone, because nothing so childish lasts, and you can't really explain why it meant what it did. the person they were, maybe, and who they were to you, but you also know that no one, no matter what they're like, will ever be this special again.

and so even though we can't cling onto those people, because we get older, we change, we grow up and we grow apart, it is really fucking hard to let go of the first person you've chosen to let into your life.

and because the community writers are fantastic at their jobs, we get to see that reality play out in front of our eyes.

[gaijin-fujin-resonance]

FROM NOW ON

Another song where I managed to illicitly download a radio rip before the initial release - and probably the biggest surprise of the batch! What is that beat? Is it.. Is it… wicked  2-Step? Buck-Tick have long flirted with dance music - mixing punk guitars with techno beats since the 90s to create a musical version of Cyberpunk. But this time they’ve abandoned all pretense of being a rock band at all.

This is my second attempt at writing about this song...

...my first entry got bogged down in a potted history of the transition from UK Garage to 2-Step to the original (far more interesting) UK vision of Dubstep and my god, no one cares about this ancient history! All you really need to know is that while rock genres are usually defined by the lead instruments - the style of the guitars or vocals - dance genres are all about the beat.

That hip-shaking rimshot snare on the offbeats during the verse, that comes via the Jamaican influence of 2-step and Dub. However, the musical styling of From Now On are more drawn from trip-hop, from the echoey piano pings to the distorted washes of guitars and crashing waves of electronic feedback like ghostly seagulls coming in at 0:35. It sounds like a beautiful homage to 90s-era Massive Attack.

Buck-Tick have long been blatant in their admiration of Massive Attack, even namedropping them in the lyrics to Devil’s Wings. But where Massive Attack used their dreamlike soundscapes to create an atmosphere of restlessness, tension and unease, From Now On is about warmth and reassurance. The verses start with unresolved, suspended notes and minor chords. But there’s a pumping drone bass at 0:58 slowly building as you realise the tension is from anticipation, rather than fear, until it finds release with the vocals coming in. When the breakbeat hits at 1:27, nervousness gives way to pure excitement.

Again, Buck-Tick show their skillful use of silence to create a sense of space that heightens specific elements - when the music drops out at 1:34, so quiet you can hear Hide breathing, it highlights that little panting intake of breath before assuring us “It’s alright! Don’t worry, don’t worry.” Tension and release, perfectly and effectively balanced. The tiny break of silence makes the throb of the heart-pounding bass at 1:41 hit even harder.

Best bit: the aforementioned “don’t worry” break, obviously. But my personal favourite moment is the solo drizzled lightly between 1:52 to 2:36. It’s the kind of sound that seems to go round corners. When it first comes in, it sounds like feedback. The little swoops and tapped drop-out bits around 2:00 sound like Stabilizer Guitar. The 2:10 - 2:15 slide into the bass region sounds like a theremin. (I clearly miss the theremin so much I’m hallucinating theremin all over this album.) But the bit at 2:30 sounds like synth knob-twiddling. By the ending, from about 3:30 onward, it sounds so convincingly alien, like transmissions from an alternate galaxy, that I've stopped trying to work out what is making the sound, and just allow myself to be carried away by it. This is just the beginning. A long way to go. But the point of a journey is the journey itself, and not the destination. It’s experimental music in its purest sense - making a track just to see where it goes.

Who is the exhortation and reassurance for? Is Hide talking to himself, reassuring himself about the unfamiliar ground the band is treading, creating an album for the first time, without their charismatic singer? Is he talking to the fans, reassuring us that this album itself is a journey out of grief and into hope for the future of the music we love? My own personal explanation is pure fan fiction: over the year of the album’s making, Hide spoke often about his son, who had travelled abroad, a long, long way, to study in England. By the time the album was complete, the son had changed his mind and returned to Japan, probably having found life in post-Brexit Britain too difficult. So I like to think of the lyrics, specifically written in English rather than Japanese, as a message of reassurance to his English-studying son: it’s alright. You can travel far. You can come home. You can always make a new beginning. That's the beauty of such polysemous lyrics. Any and all interpretations fit.

[billpottsismygf]

I just went to see the Wicked movie and I was absolutely blown away. Like many other fans of the stage show, I was skeptical and wondered why they couldn’t just give us a proshot instead. However, this film is real proof of the value in properly adapting this story to film, rather than just giving us the stage show again. There are unique possibilities in every medium, which for film is things like editing, cinematography, scale, close-ups etc., and Wicked uses all of these to great effect.

Spectacle is at the heart of both The Wizard of Oz (with its cutting edge use of technicolour) and the Wicked stage show (which is notable for its incredible costumes, stage design, lighting etc.), and spectacle is also very much at the heart of this film. My jaw quite literally dropped in the opening moments as the camera flew over the land of Oz, and it stayed open throughout most of the first number. I’m so glad I got to see it at the cinema; it’s absolutely worth seeing it on the big screen. I might even go again!

I was also worried about the run time, given that its 2 hours and 40 minutes cover only Act 1 of a stage show which runs that length in its entirety. However, the length felt entirely justified. It didn’t even feel like they added that much! What they did add – bits of dialogue, exposition, reframing of scenes, flashbacks etc. – I loved, but for the most part it just felt like it was faithfully adapting the first act of the show.

This was a phenomenal piece of cinema and I'm only sad that I don't get to watch part two for another year! This might even end up being the definitive version for me, which is so far from what I was expecting. Obviously nothing is quite like live theatre, but nothing is quite like this either. I’ve included more detailed and spoilery reactions to specific parts below, but I can only recommend this movie!

SPOILERS BELOW! (And I mean spoilers specific to the movie. If you’re a fan of the stage show already but don’t want to have some surprises ruined, I really recommend going in without knowing!)

No One Mourns the Wicked

I’ve already mentioned that my jaw was dropped throughout this song, but I was also sobbing copiously.

It does such a good job capturing the celebratory nature and then shifting to show the darkness at the heart of this celebration.

The way the camera cuts back to Glinda’s face at certain moments really heightens the emotional kick for anyone who knows how the rest of the story goes.

The effigy is so sinister and horrifying, as is Glinda’s face as she’s made to be the one to light it.

We all knew Ariana Grande could hit those high notes, but goddamn.

Dear Old Shiz

Not much to say about this one, but such great costuming and I love how all of the arrival scene plays out.

The Wizard and I

This is one of the songs that benefits the most from the filmic medium.

We can see Elphaba’s face in close up as she begins to have this revelation.

The way the lighting changes to show her de-greenified when she’s singing about that!

The fact that she (and we) really can very hazily see ‘a vision, just like a prophecy’! The dissonance between the hope in her eyes and what we know is happening made me cry again!

That run up to the cliff at the end is so exhilarating! Slight Maria von Trapp vibes, but also it’s the scale and spectacle again, and this huge drop that will be mirrored at the end of the movie.

What is this Feeling

Ahhh! The editing in this one!

That initial split screen as they’re writing the letters works so well.

The cuts between shots and things happening on the beat are delicious.

It’s so clever to use this song as a montage!

Something Bad

All of the stuff with Dr Dillamond and the animals was very effective.

I really like the way this scene is located and the way shadows are used to represent things happening.

There seems to be a little cut in the music so we don’t get ‘under the surface, behind the scenes’, but that doesn’t feel like much of a loss.

Dancing through Life

This is one of the longest sequences in the musical and it’s used very effectively here.

Firstly, I love how bisexual this Fiyero is with his flirting, and how both male and female students are shown to be into him.

Setting it in the library is funny and I love the set design with those spinny bookcases, as well as how the song develops to have the choreography on them.

God, the emotion of the silent dance sequence. They’re really not afraid to let it play out in its full awkwardness and I’m so glad.

The chords underneath when Glinda starts to dance along! I know it’s the Dancing Through Life music, but the way it sounds like the start of For Good had me sobbing yet again!

The dance itself! The close ups on their hands and faces! Ahhh!

Popular

Not much to say here, but beautifully done.

I’m Not That Girl

Lovely visuals, beautifully sung.

One Short Day

I love the extended introduction, especially as we’re treated to the spectacle of the outskirts of the city and then the city itself.

Of course, the hugest thing has to be the Wizomania section.

THIS IS MAYBE THE BIGGEST SPOILER IF YOU’RE STILL HERE AND DON’T WANT TO KNOW

Because holy shit!!!!!!

The little additional Wizomania bit started and I thought ‘oh cool! They have written new music’ and then!

I’m soooooo happy that Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel got their cameos. It was entirely unexpected and I sat there with my hands over my mouth in excitement - I'm so glad I didn't see any spoilers about It! Also Kristen got to do her high notes and Idina got to do her Defying Gravity riff.

The Wizomania addition was also valuable in giving the lore behind the Grimmerie, though I was too excited by Kristen and Idina to pay that much attention to the lyrics.            

A Sentimental Man

There was a slightly weird cut into the start of this number, with them suddenly all sitting down. It would have felt slightly more natural to lead into it from where they were, but maybe they cut something out there.

Defying Gravity

I was not expecting the balloon to come into play like that!

So well played between our two leads. It hits all the emotional beats it needs to and has such a sense of scale and excitement.

Again, it all comes back to spectacle. This is one of the most spectacular moments of the show and they don’t back down from the challenge here.

I’ve obviously always adored that moment where Elphaba is in the air at the centre of a green star, and I always will, but there are things here that film can do that stage shows can’t.

That drop to the ground really ratchets up the drama, as does her flight up and then back down again. It actually reminded me of that famous moment in the first Spiderverse movie – so exhilarating!

That enormous cloak! The lighting!

That extended unlimited bit with the cuts to people learning about Elphaba’s new status as a fugitive! So good!

I wanted to applaud!

Other

I love Elphaba and Fiyero meeting in the woods initially.

I love that we actually see Elphaba learning magic.

Madam Morrible’s presence is also really well used. She’s nowhere near as sinister a figure as she is in the book, of course, but I like how well she’s introduced as a maternal figure to Elphaba, or at least as an adult who actually believes in her, and then the mask finally slips as soon as Elphaba stops doing as she’s told. Michelle Yeoh gives a really understated performance, but she’s not a cackling villain and so it works well to see this other side of her come forward in this way.

It’s interesting that whenever the Grimmerie is read from it's only spoken aloud rather than sung. I wonder if that will continue into No Good Deed and Wicked Witch of the East in part 2.

Hell yeah, I just realised we should finally have an official recording of Wicked Witch of the East when part 2 comes out!

Anyway, what an amazing film!

[highfantasy-soul]

NATLA - Episode 3: Omashu (3/3)

[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]

An explanation of what I'm doing here and my history with ATLA.

Of course, full spoilers ahead.

<previous/next>

Katara is drawn to Jet as she sees her own rage, loss, and desire to fight reflected in him. In the animated version, Jet shows up to save the Gaang after they stumbled into a fire nation campsite and Katara immediately falls for him but it's not super clear why other than 'he's hot and beat up firebenders'. In the live-action, we meet Jet walking into Omashu and he helps the group with no ulterior motive - setting up his character as someone who truly cares about people struggling in the war and is willing to go out of his way to help. He only reveals he's a freedom fighter when Katara sees Sai trading info with a fire nation spy - so they both are sharing a secret about the enemy rather than an obvious connection of 'yeah, everyone can see the fire nation soldiers would be bad' connection like in the animated show. The live-action adds nuance and secrecy, and not letting Sokka in on seeing that secret adds to the conflict between him and Katara later on - they both have negative info on the person the other has attached themselves to in Omashu. I like how Sokka didn't 'immediately clock' Jet as a bad guy in the live-action or at least, didn't immediately get super jealous of him. Yes, their relationship starts out rocky with him annoyed Jet is taking the lead talking to the guards and flirting with his sister, but he doesn't have the heightened 'I don't like this guy because he's succeeding fighting the fire nation in a way different from me' that he has in the animated version.

It's funny to me seeing people complain that live-action Katara got a lot of agency taken away while saying nothing about how in the animated version, Katara immediately turns submissive to Jet and they have their whole flirtation and Katara defends him to the ends of the earth. I don't have a problem with the animated way the story was told, but it's funny to see people complaining about the live-action when the same issues (or more pronounced) are in the animated version. In the animated version, I didn't see Katara's connection with Jet being that he shared her anger and desire to fight the fire nation, it came off as 'he's hot and charismatic therefore everything he does must be right'. In the live-action, we see how Katara's fire and rage at the fire nation is reflected in him and that's what she's drawn to - yes he's hot and charismatic, but it's more clear that she identifies with every aspect of him: he's fighting back (something she's always wanted to do) and he's created a community to help those harmed by the fire nation. Having Jet help her through a waterbending block by remembering the good aspects of her mother added so much more depth than him just complementing Katara's skills and her deciding to blindly follow him. Instead of just 'Katara, you can do this' he actually gave her good advice - making her defense of him much more believable.

Animated Jet is cartoonishly evil, kicking old men, lying about him being an assassin, kidnapping Sokka, flooding a whole town, and tricking Katara and Aang into helping him kill the village - live-action Jet is much more believable and nuanced which I think is a really good choice. We see that he's "right" (ie, he IS rooting out spies and ineffectual leaders who have led to the fire nation operating with impunity in the city) it's only his methods that are wrong.

While it's good to see Sokka caring about someone just because in him defending the old man Jet was harassing, I think it adds a bunch of depth that the person Jet is attacking in the live-action is the person Sokka connected to - plus, the fact that he actually is a fire nation spy. The animated Jet is painted as 'look at this obviously bad guy going way too far' while the live-action makes him much more nuanced and less clearly 'bad'. Yes, he's willing to sacrifice some innocent lives for the cause, but it's not like he's just making information up to get people on his side or trying to kill an entire village. He's still 'wrong' to be willing to sacrifice Teo's life and the lives of people who aren't responsible for the state of the city, but it's not cartoon levels of misguided. In the animated show, he just attacks and bullies an old man just wandering around - in the live-action, he's actually going after spies causing real harm in Omashu - he's not a caricature of a rebel fighter, he's a real person who's mostly doing the right thing.

This actually mirrors and combines the lessons Katara and Sokka learn in The Great Divide - they each side with the group that's more like them and both don't want to believe that the side they identify with could be wrong. But instead of 'these people are clean, organized, and educated, therefore I like them' for Katara, she sees her desire for justice, change, and community reflected in Jet. Instead of 'these people like to eat, are ok being messy, and are more war-like so I like them' for Sokka, he sees his desire for more than just being a warrior, for him to contribute with his ingenuity and creation as well reflected in the Mechanist.

Sokka being drawn to The Mechanist as he sees his own ingenuity and curiosity - rather than strict 'warrior' expectations reflected in him. I like that he's directly responsible for completing the designs for the airship that ends up in the hands of the fire nation, not because they stole the wrecked ship, but because he trusted the Mechanist and helped him before realizing he was purposely giving the designs to the fire nation. It adds just that small bit of direct connection/lesson for Sokka. I also like the very clear parallels between the Mechanist and Jet - in the animated episode, the Mechanist is found out and there's no question, the jig is up immediately. I like how they handled his duplicity like they did Jet in the animated series - one of the siblings knows the truth but the other won't hear it. The Mechanist is also able to give Sokka some great advice to change his world-view while in the animated version, they just both fall in together naturally with no real character building dialogue to solidify that. The animated show does a lot of that sort of dialogue so I'm not sure why they didn’t make a point of it in this episode, but I guess in the animated version, the focus was on Aang and all the 'lessons dialogue' we got was Aang learning that it was ok that the Mechanist was changing the Air Temple. I like that Sokka gets a good character moment in the live-action and we get to see his nuanced arc with gender roles explored.

Because of this reassurance by the Mechanist, we now start to get Sokka stretching out his skill set and starting to come up with mad, slap-dash plans to achieve their goals. While that was always present in the animated show, I like that it took Sokka getting some confidence and growing as a character to start embracing that side of him. And what a first plan it was: riding those crates to the top of the mountain.

And finally, Aang's role in this episode: I adore the fight between him and Zuko. This is the first time in live-action that we've seen them go head to head and I'm glad they waited for it to be a *moment*. The fight was so stylized and classic - demonstrating Zuko's martial skills without bending and the differences in their fighting styles. The different sets and props used were such a nice touch and you can tell so much care was put into that fight.

Some specific things that were incredible there: Zuko's skill with the bowstaff, him screaming "YOU READ MY DIARY!!!!!" sorry, sorry "YOU HAVE MY NOTEBOOK!!!", the auntie beating him with a brush for daring to hit a child!!! How dare he!!, THE CABBAGE MERCHANT, and Aang constantly trying to stop the fight like 'bro, chill tf out!"

Aang's lesson is really delved into in the next episode and I like the 2 episode arc structure they move to so that the themes and lessons can breathe. Again, in episodic, 20 minute animated episodes, you follow a singular plotline and it's resolved within that 20 minutes, but all 20 of those minutes are devoted to that one plot - when you only have 8 episodes, that 20 minutes per plot is split up and woven together with other plots rather than seeing the singular story in one chunk. It's just a different structure (that fits better with the serialized, binge structure) of 8 hour long episodes.

I think people got so used to seeing ATLA in bite-sized chunks where the focus is super narrow and issues are solved immediately, their brain had trouble shifting gears to be open to a different structure for telling the story.

Anyways, there's my analysis for episode 3 - it was the episode where I became fully invested in this telling of the story and couldn't wait to turn on the next one.

[masschase]

20 FOR CASEY

Touching prompts- still taking!

20. bandaging/stitching up an injury

OK, so since a pairing wasn't specified here, this was the perfect oppurtunity to do something I'd already wanted to do and rework a piece to form a part of the Ultor AU-AU that me and @whoredmode have been working on. For more on the basics behind this AU check out Teddy's original version of this AU. Credit to him for the general differences that define this universe as well as other details mentioned such as Johnny and Aisha's son's name and I'm sure a few other bits. The key difference here is that Casey is also around in this version; having been a part of with the Westside Rollerz from 2004-2006, doing jobs for The Brotherhood up until 2011 and then the Saints when they re-form under Johnny, eventually joining them for good as part of the altered Brotherhood questline and taking over as Boss in SRTT.

The piece I originally wrote already had this trope in it (it's one of my faves!) and was originally going to be the setup to a GatBoss fic that we would find at the end was the night before the start of Saints Row 3. However, in this AU Aisha is still alive (as is Carlos as you'll see in the fic) so the attraction is very much one-sided. But hey, delicious angst!

Fandom: Saints Row

Universe: Ultor AU AU (we'll give it a real name eventually! 😅)

Pairing: Boss OC Cassandra "Casey" Clark x Johnny Gat (one-sided), Johnny Gat x Aisha (offscreen)

Synopsis: When a robbery goes wrong, it's obviously going to lead to an argument. 2895 words, set just before the start of SRTT.

The atmosphere was strained as they got out of the car and ran down to the crib, shutting the door firmly behind them. Neither of them liked running away; it always hurt their pride. The silence that hung between the two of them in the tiny studio only heightened the tension. Shaundi and Pierce were at the Penthouse Loft having the huge party they'd arranged as a distraction. The assisting homies had fled to Purgatory. But the cops were on Casey and Johnny, and it had taken some time to get enough distance to finally lose them by ducking into the Red Light Loft.

Casey plopped down on the sole comfy chair, sucking in a loud hiss of a breath now she didn’t have to hide the pain, resting her bleeding arm in her lap. In front of Johnny she felt she could at least show a little vulnerability. “Bandage my arm.” she ordered flatly, holding it up show him the wound.

“You’re fine.” her best friend responded, perching on the arm of the chair beside her and giving it only a cursory glance. “You made it this far without bleedin’ out, didn’t ya?”

She turned her head to him quickly, mildly offended. “What? You know the rules, Johnny. You caused this shit, you fuckin’ patch me up.”. It was a good excuse, but there was probably a little more to it than that. He was the only one who bound it tight enough. The only one she trusted to do it right.

“Oh yeah? I didn't tell you to punch through a fuckin’ window, Boss.” he replied sarcastically. Johnny was still very much the leader of the Saints, reluctant as he often seemed to hold that position. That said, ever since his son was born, he’d taken somewhat of a step back. Shaundi had recently been busy focusing on sobering up, Pierce always had shoots and tv appearances taking up his time, and Carlos still didn’t feel confident to lead, so Casey had been the one to step up. She’d been doing enough behind the scenes by that point that it didn’t even make much of a difference.

“I wrapped my hand.” she insisted. She’d thrown her jacket around it to punch into the car window but she’d still managed to cut her forearm on the way back out. Better than a bullet in the head. “No fuckin’ way were we gonna get away otherwise. Not after you started shootin’ up the place.”

“Thought that was the fuckin’ point.” Johnny complained. “What, you wanted to go round givin’ out cookies or some shit?”

She sighed exasperatedly. “Johnny, we said we'd start round the left side and take ‘em out one by one.” she reminded him. “Then at the last minute you suddenly go for the guy right in the middle of the store?”

“I told you, he was lookin’ at me funny.” he insisted.

“Funny how many guys seem to fuckin’ look at you funny Johnny!” she snapped in return. If it was a one off, then perhaps she wouldn't think much of it. But not only had it been a rather frequent occurence lately, but this shit really wasn’t going to fly when they had a big bank heist planned.

“Look, I don’t see the problem in doin’ this shit like we used to.” Gat pointed out. His jaw was a little clenched though, like he wasn’t telling the full story.

“I just think when you’re reppin’ a fuckin’ brand, you try a little harder to remain professional.” she complained, standing back up, pushing her hair off her face and walking over to the kitchen area to rinse her arm in the sink.

There was a pause, like he was processing that. He turned slightly on the arm of the chair. “Man, when’d you start fallin’ for all this “professional” shit?” he complained, getting up and taking a couple of steps in the same direction, arms crossed suspiciously.

“Maybe since it got us street gang of the fuckin’ year?” she replied, a combination of defensive and just a little smug. It was just a stupid magazine award but still it was something, some kind of mark of status. She wouldn’t usually care about that kind of thing. But she couldn’t deny that it was the one thing that had most undermined her credibility in Sharp’s eyes years back; way more than the money. She fumbled through the cabinets and managed to locate a bandage.

“That’s what it’s about, huh? You gettin’ to parade the Saints around like a fuckin’ prized poodle?” he asked.

She snorted even through her annoyance, turning back to him, leaning back against the counter. He made no secret of the fact he didn’t like the direction they were going, but at the end of the day, if he wasn’t fucking there, it wasn’t his call to make. “Please, you know if the Saints were a dog we’d shit on the carpet and steal someone’s burger.” she retorted. She began attempting to wrap her arm pretty clumsily, being that it was her right one and she was right-handed.

“Then what?” he replied, his eyes trained far more on what she was doing than her face.

“Johnny, it’s everything that comes with the success. The money, the power, the fuckin’ women...?”. She hesitated. Obviously that one wasn’t really relevant for him. Not when he seemed almost sickeningly happy with Aisha. Still she pushed on with her point. “Man... none of that means anything to you?”

“You really think- holy shit, you’re drivin’ me crazy.” Johnny interrupted himself. He stepped closer and took the bandage from his best friend, starting again and applying it to her arm much more precisely to stem the bleeding, shaking his head at her.

“Not like I didn’t fuckin’ ask.” Casey muttered, hiding her relief. There was a moment of quiet as Johnny focused on the job, and she focused on him. His hands brushing her arm as he worked. His face considerably closer than usual. His attention on her, and her only. “Look... I just want what’s best for you guys...” she insisted in a softer tone. “The other three all seem to be doing better since we signed that damn contract, and you...”. There was an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach, but it didn’t change that she was happy for him. She was. “You got your perfect little family, right?” she said, giving him a slight smile as she looked up at him.

He didn’t smile back, but something within his eyes brightened at the mention of them, something she found so nice to have trained in her direction, even for just a moment. “So this is you playin’ hero, huh?” he mused with interest and a little scepticism. “You doin’ all this for us?”

She blinked at him, not knowing exactly what he meant by that. “What the hell else would it be for?” she asked curiously.

He tied up the bandage, but kept his hand under her arm, supporting it. “What about you, Case?” he asked, that same mystifying tone to his words. Like he was insinuating something. “The hell do you want?”.

Something about the fact it was Johnny asking her that made her so uncomfortable. Because there were a lot of accurate answers to that question, but the most obvious one was something she’d recently admitted to herself, could probably admit to Shaundi or Pierce... but not to him, never to him. But the way it made it feel like he was teasing the answer out of her? God, it made that feeling in her stomach all the worse because it felt nicer, lighter, hopeful when she knew it really couldn’t be. “What do you think I want?” she asked, shifting her shoulders slightly.

He released her right arm slowly, leaving her to bring her left one up to support it. It wasn’t as gentle as it could have been, but for Gat, it seemed pretty gentle. She guessed the moment couldn’t last forever. “C’mon, Case. I know what this is.”. He said, rolling his eyes slightly. “You got the lifestyle you think you deserve, without having to run home to daddy.”

That shocked her a little. “You don’t know shit about my parents Johnny.” she pointed out. No matter how much they bonded, she never let it go that far back. Suffice to say she hadn’t seen her father since she was 3 years old at most. Thanks to her mom, neither did she have a home to run to.

“We know you were with the Rollerz.” he pointed out. “Don’t take a genius to fill in the gaps.”. He folded his arms. “What, you get tired of tryna piss ‘em off, decide to go clean?”

She hated that not only was he assuming things of her that were completely untrue, which she was pretty sure everyone had been doing since the moment she joined, but it felt like he was actually mocking her for it. “That’s what you think of me?” she asked, mentally clutching at her injured feelings the same way she was clutching at her hurt arm.

“That’s what everyone thinks of you, Case.” he informed her, like it was nothing. “But I think somethin’ else, too.”. His mouth finally broke into an ever-so slight smirk. “I think deep down... you love this shit.”

That expression, not to mention the hint or solidarity, threatened to draw her in like a moth to a flame, and she hated it. “You love this shit.” she replied defensively. “I just do what I gotta do, Johnny.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked, his tone still amused. “And what makes you feel more powerful? Drinkin’ champagne in the VIP section of a fancy restaurant...?”. He came right up to her and stared her down. “Or when a guy twice your size is standin’ in front of you and you hold out your pistol and pop him between the eyes?”

She wasn’t sure if it was his words or the dizzying proximity, but she drew a sharp intake of breath as she stared back at him. She swallowed, not knowing how to respond to that.

“Yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought.” he said smugly, stepping back and then turning to walk away.

“Hey!” she replied, affronted from the sudden release from overwhelmed to abandoned. “Don’t you fuckin’ walk away when I’m talkin’ to you!”

He turned back, but he still looked amused. “Well, I know you ain’t gonna admit I’m right, so what’s the point?” he asked flippantly.

She emitted another angry sigh. “OK, fine Johnny!” she replied. “I fuckin’ love...”. It was weird actually saying it. Coming face to face with the weight of what they did on a regular basis. “...killing people.”. She lowered her voice to a mutter. “Especially with you.”. She didn't really remember it being this way before though. She’d been in the gang life a good ten years now but since she started working with Johnny... she'd began to lose her head a little. She had to rectify it, here and now. “But we gotta stick to the plan, y’know?"

“Jesus..." he said in a low voice of realisation. "You sound like fuckin’ Dex.”

Casey didn’t know Dex, not really, not like Johnny did. But the comparison to someone she knew her friend hated, that stung. She wasn't afraid of him though. “Well then maybe Dex had a point.” she challenged.

Johnny's anger broke more openly on his face at that. “Do you even hear yaself?” he responded, tapping his index finger against his temple and nearing her once more. “You’ve really got it into your head that you’re right, don’tcha?” he accused, the volume of his voice beginning to crescendo. “You’ve bought into this shit so bad you’ll say anything, anything to support your bullshit!”

“Johnny... no-one else seems to have a problem with this shit except for you.” she pointed out, her tone rising to meet his.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, what, I'm supposed to be real happy that we're fuckin’ corporate sellouts?” he practically yelled back.

“You're supposed to be happy that we don't have to engage in stupid little turf wars just to survive!”. She couldn’t help but step closer, dangerously close to getting right in his face right now. “You're supposed to be happy we have food on the fuckin’ table and aren't getting shot at 24/7!”

"I AM HAPPY!” he shouted right in her face, although he certainly didn’t sound it, so he paused, then spoke a little more slowly so he could clarify, his tone still dripping with bile. “I’m happy when I’m at home with Eesh, and Tye, and every second, every fuckin’ second I’m away from ‘em I just wanna get this shit over and done with and get back to ‘em! How do you not understand that?”

“Oh, ok, ok, I get it!” she snapped back, finally getting the sudden impatience. It was very much fighting fire with fire now; once one of them started it was hard for either of them to back down. Him throwing his happiness in her face, as a reason to endanger both their lives no less, only stoked it. “Jesus I always knew you were violent but I never realised you could be this self-destructive.”

“Yeah well I never knew you could be such a stuck up bitch!” he snapped.

"JOHNNY!" she yelled. "UGH, I just... I swear, sometimes I just wanna...”. She reached for her pistol but her hand squeezed itself tight before she could even near the holster.

“Just what?” he taunted viciously to her unfinished sentence. “Just what, Case? What, you gonna fuckin’ shoot me? No you ain't, so just-“

His words were interrupted as she grabbed his face and her lips crashed up against his in a pretty violent fashion. All of that which she had held inside for so long, all of that which she didn’t even fully understand herself, suddenly violently erupting. The culmination of so much she’d held back, only to last for less than a second as Johnny pushed her away roughly, taking several steps back from her in shock, almost tripping over the chair.

“Woah, woah, what the fuck, Case?!!!” he exclaimed, staring at her both confused and completely horrified. She meanwhile, was frozen, no idea what to say after doing... that. Her mouth opened but no explanation came. “You... like me?” he assessed disapprovingly, staring at her almost like she was a complete stranger. Like everything had changed. She hated it.

“Well not right now...” she muttered flatly.

Johnny gritted his teeth, eyes still boring into her, shaking his head. “Trust you to give a fuckin’ bullshit answer to that, Case.” he replied. “Cause I fuckin’ know you.” he responded, pointing a finger at her in accusation. “I fuckin’ know if you just wanted to fuck me you’d have tried somethin' sooner." He paused. "So I figure this has gotta be more than that.”

She was silenced once again, because that was such a loaded statement. No matter what the exact nature of her feelings, she would never have tried to make something happen with him, never. It made it feel like he was boiling her down to nothing but her promiscuity based on this one mistake. At the same time... his conclusion that this was more than just lust was probably entirely true. “Look, Johnny...” she began.

“You realise I have a wife and a son?” he interrupted before she could even get any further.

Every single thing he said felt like he was twisting the knife. “I know, I fuckin’ know that, alright!” she replied, her tone oddly pleading. “Look I tried to ignore it, every time I thought about it I fuckin’ ignored it Johnny because... I don't even want more than we got. This is what I want." she said, flicking her finger between them. "And you know I love Aisha and I love Tye and-“

“Every time?” he interrupted, the rest clearly not placating him right now. “Just how long you been feeling like this?

Another tense silence. She couldn’t even answer that. She knew it hadn’t been that long since she'd actually realised. Maybe a month or two, and she’d spent the whole time beating herself up about it. But how long it had actually been going on for? She’d spent too long in denial to say. “I don’t know.” she said truthfully.

He stared at her again, shaking his head in disappointment. “Bullshit.” he said flatly. “Bull. Shit.”. Barely looking at her anymore, he headed for the door again, unlocking it quickly. He paused, not even looking at her this time, gritting his teeth and shaking his head again. “Y’know I really thought you were my best friend.” he said darkly, before slamming the door behind him, Casey flinching slightly at the noise in the state she was in.

“I am!” she shouted back with as much conviction as she could muster, but there was no way he was going to hear her. She stood there for a moment, left hand gripping tight around her bandage, making the wound sting. Then she walked back over to sit in the chair and put her head in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut tight. No way, no fucking way was she going to cry over some guy.

But the weight of her mistake came crashing over her like a tidal wave. Johnny wasn’t just some guy. He was some guy who could destroy every single one of her friendships, friendships that had already had a rocky start due to her past allegiances. He was some guy who could topple whatever semblance of a career she considered herself to have. But above all, he was some guy whose sudden absence from her life was liable to completely destroy her.

It was too late though. She’d already set it in motion. “...I was.” she corrected in quiet realisation.

[sageandred]

In depth wtFOCK Season Three Thoughts (Part 2 Through the Seasons Review)

The other girl (Noor) storyline was questionable. (Having it take 3 episodes before Sander is introduced was a choice).

-and it's not like I'm closed off to changes, but I feel like they still could've introduced Sander in a different way without taking a 3rd of the season to do so (but I do like the little Where's Waldo of Sander in background scenes)

-I really thought there would be more significance/fallout to the Robbe-Noor graffiti. (I get it shows she's artistic like Sander, but) I thought that scene would contribute more to the entire storyline rather than just Robbe/Sander (first sighting).

I get the intended Robbe internalized homophobia. I don't hate it; should be interesting what changes it brings in the story. This is a much darker feel than the other evaks where "Isak" is concerned.

-the little things like the music he listens to as he walks up to his friends gives me the perception that he's always performing;

-and how his voice changes from when he's talking with the boys to when he answers a call from his mom

I'm a bit upset we didn't see more Robbe-Yasmina moments (he didn't leave the weed with her in this version, which is fine). [I know they spent some time during summer doing retakes, but I needed to see the friendship development or some bigger moments between them].

A change I like is that the season doesn't start off with "Isak" automatically living with "Eskild" (Milan).

Forgot to say this with the other seasons-this Skam might have the best cinematography and clear direction-but this season it's heightened

Love, love the apartment crew with Milan, Zoe, Senne, and Robbe!

Top tier first meet scene

-also grocery shopping was a nice change (plus music choices are great this version)

This "Isak" has some guilt immediately after during what would be the morning after the pool kiss scene; also it's kind of a change I like due to the obvious direction with the music suddenly coming to a halt as he blocks Sander.

Actually the use of Bowie in scenes is chilling (and RUDE-the Robbe-Noor sex scene); it's a good storytelling choice.

I like the changes, but the pacing and lack of a resolution with talking things out/really addressing things make them generally unimpactful so far [Robbe internalized homophobia (& projected homophobia)]

-I actually feel like Noor could've been used more strategically to display the intensified shutting out of his sexuality had they taken the time to properly flesh them out (it definitely showed), but again the pacing, because in some ways I think they needed deeper scenes to develop them, but I wouldn't want too much time dedicated to them that would ultimately take away from the actual love story of the season.

The reimagined convo with Milan worked, because their relationship is different here and it would've been unrealistic had they copied the og dialogue verbatim; also I'm glad they didn't have a copy and paste of "Isak" talking about how he couldn't be "gay" in the world while offending "Eskild"-the advice was a nice change and good the convo didn't end on a bad note.

-edit: I spoke too soon on the offending part. hurts (every time). [also: Milan's "maybe you should look at yourself" and then the clip ends with Robbe looking in the mirror. ok wtFOCK direction]

Glad Robbe broke up with Noor before things got even more complicated and it was actually a pretty well received exchange [up until her obvious shouting in the club scene] compared to other versions in which she gets immediately angry and the "Isaks" don't really break up with her properly face-to-face.

Again with the lack of resolution-srry, but there was no point to the attack in the street on Robbe & Sander. On one hand, it could be useful to be informative, having a purpose in the plot of the season, but it was barely talked about in the aftermath or hinted at being deeper addressed later. I kind of feel like they are just trying to tackle too much with this and there's just not enough time to really address it in an already storyline heavy season. The only good thing that came from it was how caring the apartment crew showed to be w/Zoe, Senne, & Milan (but that's not a shock).

(Skam season with the most trigger warnings award goes to).

I do think the coming out scene to Jens was cute. Very different version with the best friend having a non-reaction that just makes sense with him

May I shove Robbe's friends (minus Jens) into the pool that Robbe & Sander made out in. (God, they are painful to watch)

I like how Sander's manic episode was filmed. It was very pov heavy from Robbe's perspective with flashes of Sander and I feel like the characteristics were a bit different to what you normally see in tv all the time, even by Skam standards, which I found refreshing.

I really don't get why the change of Sander and his gf only dating 6 months if they were still going to have her overstep and be so controlling. It feels unbelievable that his mom and Robbe's friends (Zoe, Jana..) are so receptive to her knowledge on Sander and his illness. And I hate that they're all being so dramatic about Sander's abilities.

They actually resolved things pretty nicely in the last ep-his friends, Sander, Noor (and the additions with his dad the whole season were really sweet; minor note: his poor dad tho when Robbe suddenly left the restaurant with no explanation).

All in all: this season is great in terms of acting, chemistry, production, and direction. However the writing is pretty awful; aside from the obvious missteps, the season messes up when they make changes and fail to follow through (almost undoing the change in the first place) by rerouting back to the original and doing the same just at a different timestamp (It's frustrating to watch and I do really wish they would just commit to those choices, while handling topics with care; I think I would have a very different opinion on the overall season and how it fares next to other remakes in the long run). I suppose, overall that wtFOCK is fun, even with some wrong choices, though the story suffers with a lack of cohesiveness, development sometimes, or focus on what's important (that sounds like everything that matters, lol, but it was enjoyable).

[mikadosekimura]

B-PROJECT RYUSEI*FANTASIA

Mikado Sekimura - Ending Route

**SPOILERS AHEAD READ WITH CAUTION**

「Running away is prohibited. Aren’t we together all of the time?」

This was translated in 2022 before the English version of the game was released. Please buy the game to support it, this ending is missing a lot of context if you don't play it, the game is very long, so this translation is probably not even 1% of the text in the game. It is available on Nintendo Switch and Steam, so please purchase and play to support team B-PROJECT and Nemui-sensei's wonderful writing.

JOIN MESSAGES - route one

Mikado: I’m with the NEWS NOW staff at the moment. Today and always [Kokoro no chizu] is a big success with everyone.

Sorry for the sudden message. I’m just so happy. Every time I’m being praised I feel like telling you. A&R:

I love to hear from you anytime! I’m so happy! I’m so happy!

I hope that more and more people will listen to it!

Mikado: I hope so! This song with everyone in MooNs I’m so glad I was able to work with you. I’m thankful to everyone that was involved.

JOIN MESSAGES - route two

A&R:

I’m so glad that you’re reporting back to me! The number of downloads is continuing to grow We have completely entered the era of MooNs!

Mikado: The era of MooNs

How beautiful and sweet it sounds!

ROUTES CONVERGE

Mikado: Towards the end of the program I was really proud to report to the audience about the hit song! As an idol and as a caster, I’m getting more and more fired up!

A&R: [Kokoro no chizu] is looking likely to become a long running hit, and is an important indicator for Gandhara to release more songs in the future. MooNs too, will surely grow into an even bigger group in the future. As the A&R in charge, I should have no shame in my work.

---Practice Room

After the success of the Nagoya concert, which we took on with a fresh determination, the next concert in Sapporo is just around the corner-----

Mikado: Alright…… then, again from the top please.

A&R: (Mikado’s first solo appearance on a music program…A medley of [Kokoro no chizu] and [Breath]-)

A&R: (They are in the middle of their tour, the quality of their performances are still very high, and when it airs, it will become a hot topic again)

As a caster of the program [NEWS NOW] and as a member of MooNs, who performs the ending theme song, Mikado-san is in the spotlight more than ever before.

It was only last week that I was approached by a singing show on the same station to do a solo.

A&R:  (The recording will be the day after tomorrow, and the day after that we will all be going to Hokkaido.)

A&R: (It’s been so busy that we don’t have much time for lessons… and yet its almost perfect already, I’m sure he’s been making time for himself and  practising.)

Although he is sincere and stoic about his work as usual……

His face is much brighter and livelier than before

A&R: (That’s not all but I feel like he has become more expressive. Maybe it’s not a surprise that he’s caught the attention of more people than ever before.)

A&R: However, he's going to need some rest soon.

I took out my phone and opened my schedule app to see MooNs’ schedule.

Then I noticed that everyday has a yellow label on it and I couldn’t help but gasp.

Yellow is Mikado’s member colour. That is, it represents him.

A&R: (After the Fukuoka performance everyone has a full day off…… But even so there is no rest. Even though the universities are on holiday, all the time that is free is filled with work.)

A&R: (Although the pressure of suffering for so long is gone…… i’m still worried----) 

Mikado: whew.. Since I made it this far, all that’s left is to check before recording and we should be good to go.

Choreographer: no, no it’s amazing Mikado. Everything is heightened!

Mikado: Oh, can you see it!? My rising!  It was perfectly showing then!

Choreographer: I get it, I get it, but don’t overdo it. If you come across anything that bothers you in the choreography feel free to JOIN me anytime.

Mikado: That saves me. Then, I'll see you at the tour rehearsal.

Choreographer: Yes, Good work today

Mikado: Good work today!

A&R: Mikado-san, here’s some water.

Mikado: A&R-san, Thankyou very much.

Mikado: -sips water-

Mikado: What did you think of today's lesson? If there’s anything that bothers you from your point of view, please feel free to tell me.

Mikado: Who would’ve thought I’d get to sing [Kororo no chizu] by myself…..It’s fine as It’s a song I'm used to singing, but it’s quite painful to carry the expectations of this song on my own shoulders.

A&R: There is nothing to hurt over!

A&R: Mikado-san’s [Kokoro no chizu] has individuality and sincerity and is full of dedication, so it has a different charm to it. 

A&R: I’m sure when it airs, many people will search for it and listen to MooNs’ original version.

Mikado:  Do you really think so? That would be nice……!  For me I want to bring the original earnestness to the forefront. But that’s only due to the quality of my voice.

Mikado:  Hmmm.. I wonder if I can somehow transplant the vocal chords of all four into my throat……, 

A&R: R, Rather than doing that, It’s be better for all 5 of you to go out together……

Mikado: Indeed…… That's right. Hmmm… Then, rather than becoming a fake MooNs It’s better to be yourself……

Mikado-san lightly puts his finger onto his chin as he makes a serious expression as he scratches his head.

His appearance is so full of love for MooNs that it fills my heart up just watching them.

A&R: We’re taking a longer time in this studio,so if you want, we can practice some more. I’ll accompany you.

Mikado: Is that okay? I’ll take you up on that offer!

A&R: Of course. But after taking a break for 10 minutes….. After that you’re free, right?

Mikado: Yes! I have a lot of homework to do, but I’m done with work after this. You are as well, right?

A&R: I have a meeting with the company at 7, so until then.

Mikado: Ahhh……Until 7. You’re as busy as ever, are you holding up alright? I’m worried.

A&R: No, no, I’m okay. Rather, I’m worried about you Mikado-san…… I was looking at the schedule just now, You really don’t have much time to catch your breath.

A&R: Even though I’m very happy that you’re receiving a lot of attention lately.

Mikado: A&R-san…… Thank you very much. I’m happy that I’m cared about this much.

Mikado: However, unlike how busy my schedule is, I actually have a bit of free time. Even though my schedule is full everyday, I still have a reasonable amount of time to rest up and sleep.

Mikado: I don’t think I would have been able to accept the offer for this music show if I was unable to move freely.

A&R: That may be so……

Mikado: Haha, well…… a lot happened, It’s natural that you’d be worried.

Mikado: I, too, have learned to make my own choices.

A&R: Make your own choices……?

Mikado: Yes. Just the other day , I had an offer for a popular drama. It’s a historical one and if I can play it well, I’m sure the audience would appreciate it.

Mikado: If it was me from a few months ago, I’m sure I would've taken it.

Mikado: But this time I declined it. Not only because it would’ve been tough with my schedule, but also because I’m convinced that my priority right now isn’t to take on new challenges or to have more means to demonstrate my skills.

The look on Mikado’s face as he speaks gives off a sense of confidence and composure.

A&R: (....It’s not that he is forcing himself. Mikado-san is already in a position to take control of his own situation.)

A&R: I understand. I’m sorry for worrying unnecessarily.

Mikado: It’s not unnecessary. I’m still immature. So please continue to keep an eye on me in the future and scold me if I lose control!

A&R: Fufu, Understood. When you’re so busy it’s easy to be worried. But lately Mikado-san is really sparkling and wonderful lately.

A&R: Even though up until now you’ve been cool enough…… I realise what I knew about Mikado-san’s charm was only part of it.

Mikado: Yes, This isn’t all! Prepare yourself A&R-san!

Mikado: Not just me, MooNs and B-PRO too, are going to break through the atmosphere with a big bang of tremendous charm!

Mikado:  Therefore, I have to rest my heart and body now, and prepare for that time.

A&R: Fufu, that’s right.

Mikado: Yes! That’s right.

A&R: Yes

Mikado: ……No, the message hasn’t been conveyed at all!?

A&R: Eh?

Mikado:  As I just said, I have a good amount of leeway, But A&R-san, you have been overworking for a long time, haven’t you?

You: That’s not so……

Mikado:  Haven’t you?

A&R: Ahahaha…….but actually I have tomorrow off.

A&R: Also once the tour is over, the schedule should go back to normal for a while, so it’s okay, please don’t worry about me.

Mikado:  Even if you say that……By the way, what are you planning to do tomorrow?

A&R: That’s right. Various things.. Like going to the city hall, It’s embarrassing to say.

Mikado:  No,no. Even though you seem as dainty as a fairy, I still understand that A&R-san is still human.

Mikado:  But, even so it seems like quite a busy day.

A&R: Yes. I think if I can get it all finished in the morning I can relax in the afternoon…though I’m unsure if I can get up in the morning.

A&R: When I don’t have work or commitments, I can’t help but get distracted.

Mikado: I see. In that case……would you like to join me for breakfast?

A&R: huh?

Mikado:  Actually, I have a longing to wake up early and have breakfast in a café. If you don’t mind, would you like to accompany me?

A&R: A café breakfast…It sounds good. But, Isn’t that a bit much……

Mikado: Of course not. I always get up early for school or work, and It’s not very often that I get to start my morning with something I enjoy unless there's an opportunity like this.

Mikado:  How does it sound? How about…… 7am?

A&R: Is it really okay?

Mikado: Of course! Then, It’s decided?

A&R: Yes, then……by all means. Fufu, I’m looking forward to it.

---Morning

Mikado:  Ah-......Freshly baked bread and the fragrant aroma of coffee, this is the ideal morning……!

When I headed to the appointed café, Mikado-san, who had arrived earlier, greeted me with his usual bright and friendly smile.

The air seems a little clearer in the morning……clear skies and Mikado-san’s warmth.

A&R: Haaa…… Its a pleasant morning. This might be the first time I've been to a café so early in the morning. It’s exciting and fun even just to be here.

Mikado: I understand. I wonder what it is. It’s as if we’re abroad.

A&R: That’s it, That’s the feeling……! Fufu, It’s been a while since I had this kind of fun. It’s thanks to Mikado-san inviting me along.

A&R: If I spent it alone, I definitely would have been lazing around until the afternoon.

Mikado: Me too. It seems that after all, promises make people move.

Mikado: Last night, I was looking forward to it before I slept.

Mikado-san’s eyes smile with happiness when he says that.

That could be a sense of kindness that keeps me in mind.

However with that one gesture, the apologetic feeling within my heart was blown away, without a trace, in a spectacular manner.

A&R: (I can understand why the fans love Mikado-san so much. Just with that smile alone it gives you a sense of security, as if he is affirming you.)

Mikado:  …….Hm? What’s the matter?

A&R: No……It’s just somehow I feel so happy.

Mikado:  Aha, If that’s so then I’m glad. It’s often said that the early bird catches the worm.

Mikado:  With that said, this refreshing feeling is irreplaceable.

Mikado:  Mmm…… The coffee is also delicious. Haa……This is nice. What is this calm atmosphere……It’s like I’m not abroad, but in a different world.

While sipping his coffee lightly, Mikado-san lets out a sigh of relief.

Seeing that, my shoulders relaxed comfortably from relief.

A&R: Somehow, It’s kind of like my head is empty right now. It’s like all my work is just……slipping away.

A&R: I wonder how long it’s been.

Mikado: I’m the same. Even when I lay down, I’m always thinking about work and what’s next on my schedule…..It’s hard for my brain to rest.

Mikado:  I enjoy working and studying however, but once I’ve done all I want to do while I’m young, I want to spend my old age peacefully like this.

A&R: Fufu, Isn’t it a bit early to be thinking about old age?

Mikado: Is that so? I think it’s surprisingly fast. A lot has happened in the last few months alone, but looking back, doesn’t it feel like an instant?

 Mikado: From now on, I’m sure it will continue to repeat……Before you know it you’ll be in your 80s.

A&R: Eight- Eighties…….It’s a little scary, I see…… Eighties…. I wonder what I’ll be doing then.

Mikado: Fufu, I’m sure you’ll still be the same charming, intelligent and wonderful woman as now.

A&R: If you say so…...Mikado-san is the one who will age beautifully, I’m sure of it. Just by looking at you in the eyes, I’m drawn to you as the wonderful person you are.

A&R: At the same time, as an active idol still.

Mikado:  A.. haha that sounds pretty harsh…… That would be nice, an active idol in his 80s. Dancing may become difficult but at least maybe the 5 of us can sit down and sing together.

Mikado: In order to do that, all the members must live a long and healthy life.

A&R: That’s right. Fufu…….I’ll do my best to live long so that I can see MooNs with my own eyes.

Mikado:  Oho? Saying that like it’s someone else’s business, but if we are active, then of course A&R-san must also be active!

A&R: Eh? That’s, well……

Mikado: Running away is prohibited. Aren’t we together all of the time?

A&R: That’s right. But, hmm……Fufu when I think about it though I'm a bit unstable…..I wonder if I can do my job properly. 

Mikado: Even if that’s so, come along. Besides, the live can’t start without A&R there.

Thinking about the distant future the smiles will go on eternally.

A time of peace, and abundance.

A&R: But if I could really spend time like this……every morning in my old age and see you all on stage from time to time… I’d be very happy.

A&R: If I think that maybe someday, that day will come, I feel like I can do my best.

Mikado: Yes, that’s true.

Mikado: …….Today I am feeling a little carried away. I feel like I could really make such a big dream come true somehow.

Mikado: At that time, If A&R-san was smiling in front of me like you are today……

Mikado: I can then proudly say that it was the most indulgent and happy life I have ever had.

A&R: Fufu, are you okay with it being me?

Mikado: It’s not just okay, it has to be you A&R.

Mikado: Because when I have you by my side, no matter how many years pass by, I will still be smiling just as I am today.

Mikado: To have a morning like this again someday, the two of us is absolutely necessary. 

★ The main reason I wanted to re-upload this is that I feel the English localisation completely missed the mark of Mikado's tone in his ending, this is the first time he is seen as properly relaxed, vulnerable and shows his sensitive side. This is the real Mikado Sekimura and It's a shame that many will miss out on this because they removed all undertones of any meaning, regardless if the viewer sees them as romantic or platonic. I hope you enjoyed reading!

★ Happy Birthday Mikado!

[bigfootbeat]

Bigfoot as Boogie Man

The concept of Bigfoot as a boogie man taps into deep-seated fears and cultural myths that span across various societies, including Native American folklore. Traditionally, the boogie man is a creature used to frighten children into good behavior, often representing an unknown or mysterious threat lurking in the shadows. Bigfoot fits seamlessly into this archetype due to its elusive nature and the aura of mystery that surrounds it. Most people associate Bigfoot with a large, hairy, two-legged humanoid that frequently appears in North America's dense woods. People fear the unknown and the sneaky behavior of the creature, which they rarely see but often hear through creepy howls or strange footprints. This is a wonderful example of the boogie man idea, where people are afraid not of a real creature but of something they haven't seen or heard of.

Native American folklore about Bigfoot and other similar monsters often includes stories about how they steal children. These creatures have different names and stories for different groups of people. The Salish people, for example, talk about Sésquac, a huge, hairy being that takes wicked kids away. The Iroquois talk about the Stone Giant, a huge monster that grabs kids who get too far away from home. These stories aim to instill in children the importance of staying close to their families and towns, thereby reinforcing the notion that Bigfoot is a boogie man. In Native American mythology and modern society, Bigfoot is a figure that warns people not to do unlawful things. Using the idea of Bigfoot to teach kids to be careful and respect nature's dangers, parents might warn their kids not to go too far into the woods. This bears similarities to the traditional boogie man, who enforces adherence to safety guidelines and societal conventions. Children and adults avoid the wilderness because of Bigfoot. They respect its limitations and the potential dangers it poses. The story of Bigfoot also plays on our basic fears of being watched or attacked by a being we can't see. People who have seen or heard of Bigfoot often say that they felt like they were being watched or followed. This adds to the creature's mystery and the fear it causes. Because people tend to think of the worst things that could happen, this psychological feature makes Bigfoot a beneficial modern boogie man.

Pop culture portrays Bigfoot as a frightening figure. Movies, TV shows, and books often depict Bigfoot as a terrifying, almost magical entity that lurks just out of sight. These creature depictions heighten fear and uncertainty. The more people see this version of Bigfoot, the more ingrained it becomes as a scary figure in their minds. That's all there is to the boogie man. It's a scary creature from the unknown that represents the dangers and secrets that lie beyond the safety of the known world. Bigfoot bears a resemblance to the boogie man from ancient myths and cultural representations, such as Native American tales about monsters that kidnap children. He serves as a reminder of the potential dangers lurking around the corner.

[soaringhawk159]

Belle

I've been thinking about Belle now after I've had a chance to think about it (and perhaps after having seen it too many times). The thing that kept me coming back again and again was that scene, the one where everyone cries. And what makes it work so well, is "A Million Miles Away."

Belle's songs serve a storytelling purpose. "U" introduces us to the world and all the excitement and possibilities of the virtual world. "Gales of Song" is the release of everything that Suzu's kept holed up so many years and finally being able to express herself. "Lend Me Your Voice" is the song that represents Belle reaching through to the Beast. And fittingly, "A Million Miles Away" is the final song.

It's the desperate plea of Suzu reaching out to Kei, hoping that her vulnerability speaks to him more than empty phrases he's heard countless times before. And oh, what a vulnerable song it is. Aside from how well they show this visually (they take the time to animate her lips trembling!), the emotions carry on through the whole song. ALL EIGHT MINUTES OF IT.

But what heightened this even more for me is it's relationship to another piece on the soundtrack, "Memories of a Sound." This is the instrumental version of "A Million Miles Away" and runs at less than two minutes. What makes it important is it's placement in the movie. The song plays during the flashback montage with Suzu and her Mom and all the memories associated with it, from how Suzu learns to love music and the loss that led her to where she is at the start of the movie.

Remember how "A Million Miles Away" is around eight minutes and "Memories of a Sound" is around two? I'm not confident in it, but "A Million Miles Away" feels like it has three parts to it, and the lyrics to that first part is below:

"Light glimmers in a flower

Like jewels in a dream

The sky breathes life, love to everything

At times I’ve thought “I’m not enough”

The chains that tie my heart

But there’s still a path that lies ahead for you and I

Memories fade away, clouds of yesterday

With no one to love Is this life worth living?

Come back to me, and stay by my side

I feel my heart shake. Come, ease this ache

I’m standing over here, reaching for you

A million miles away, come back and stay

No matter how far the memories may be

When I close my eyes, you’re all that I see

Come back to me A million miles away, come back and stay"

The song lays out Suzu's circumstances and how she is feeling before diving into her act of pleading to Kei. "A Million Miles Away" gets through these lyrics in about two minutes. In contrast, "Memories of a Sound" is stuck at the first two verses (term?), repeating them twice. It has the chance to go through the whole piece, but it doesn't. It fits so well with where Suzu is at the beginning and the journey she needs to take. And perhaps a small part of me wonders if she hasn't come up with the other parts of the lyrics yet. Perhaps she isn't capable of going any further with the song.

Lastly, this theme (is it a leitmotif yet?) comes in the middle of the movie where Suzu tries to sing. She attempts to sing "A Million Miles Away" but only gets to the first line before she physically cannot go further. This is a song that's present from the very beginning of the movie, and we only get it at the very end when Suzu's journey is near completion. "A Million Miles Away" represents Suzu's memories of her Mom and the loss and trauma after. It hurt so much that she physically can't sing. It's her most vulnerable song, and she opens herself up to Kei and the world. Kei and the world then respond to her in kind.

Is it any wonder then that "A Million Miles Away" is my favorite song?

[wikipediafag]

NBC Hannibal and *the Will Graham situation*

@two-captains im just gonna link your post here for future reference lol it was just wayy too long w both our shit so (HERE) thankss <33

We have basically the same character conclusion abt Will Graham so let's start there. Yeah, WG seems like he's autistic with frequent hyper/hypoempathy flip-flopping. It makes him capable of good projection (which the show heightens to Magical Abilities, to steal ur words lol) as well as prone to "turning off" his empathy when distressed. FOR HANNIBAL this is honestly not too hard for me to believe. Like they've asked us to roll with weirder. I'm autistic and a lot of my friends are, many of us have a similar but less drastic empathy problems/abilities coupled with projection skills. Unironically, Will Graham has the sad emo version of Abed Nadir's Dreamatorium HAHA

Side note: Unpopular opinion perhaps but I really like the way they visualize how Will runs through a crime scene in his mind, pulling the details away and then adding them back in order. Idk! I think it's a good idea to ground the nonsense in Something thats easier for the understand compared to Hannibal Lecter Literal Supervillian. And it's a great way to visually represent bottom-up thinking. It gets off-course as the show goes on, but that pilot intro???? At very least I'm so glad it wasn't Sherlock style LMFAO

They definitely go too far implying from the JUMP that Will is ~off~ hes soooo Spooooky like. Hello. That man is shitting bricks in every scene. They rlly just... started saying that and prayed we wouldn't argue. It's definitely weird, they almost always go wrong when they rely on tell-not-show and everything they showed us was Will being abused so..... very much not him being evil lol.

But, like you said, the part that REALLY rubs me wrong is the fact that we're just supposed to be okay with how much blame he's taking for insane amounts of coercion. I have no idea how we were supposed to believe that any of that was malice from him. AT VERY MOSTi would call some events, like the initial Garrett Jacob Hobbs overkill, negligence or reckless endangerment. Like, it's fucked up, but so much more of it is the fault of everyone else who put him in those situations knowing from day 1 that he wasn't mentally stable enough to be FBI. If it's negligence, it's on the part of Jack and whoever else signed off on him being in the field knowing he is not stable!!!

Every character uses it against him. Jack's abuse of it is probably the most egregious, second only to the guy who literally tried to saw into his skull so. Yeah. I really love the character tho. Lawrence Fishburn totally sold it imo. I think Jack's character doesn't get enough praise because.. well hes a shitty guy lol. Great character tho. Jack really does tie a lot of the emotional parts of the show together in a way that is FAR more believable. His dismissal is realistically selfish and he's very obviously in over his head. The C-plot with his wife was really interesting and emotional! Jack's treatment of Will is more condemned by the show I would say, with Alana pushing against him from a compassionate perspective. And there's what bothers me. Alana Fucking Bloom. oh my god. (sorry this is long lol)

Alana Bloom is a good character. I like her. Let's establish that, but I think the show regularly mishandles or misrepresents her characterization.

I'm of the opinion that Alana being with Margot Verger is weird and uncharacteristic bc she literally spent two seasons scared of Will like wtf. YOU CAN TRUST HER AND NOT HIM???? I think it's very weird they try to play it like she's an angel-turned-girlboss when her ACTUAL character as presented is incredibly interesting without all of the random details added later! See: "professional curiosity". It feels like they we're trying to "prove" she'd changed since S1.

There's a lot that could've been done with her gray morality that gets tossed just as quick as it's mentioned, leaving all of her main plot moments feeling.... off. I feel like they wanted her distrust of WG to make us legitimize the claim that he's Evil or whatever, but it really misses the mark, at least for me. She's kind and caring, but often picks professionalism above both. Her character was a debate on judgement and boundaries, if you're justified to be prejudiced if you're compassionate and/or correct. She just seems selfish with an extreme embarrassment about it. Then her character arc FULLY derails and she randomly stops being ashamed and Boom. Verger Baby. wtf. The Alana we see is far more like Dr. Chilton than the writers seem to think. At least when it comes to prejudgement in a psychiatric, moral, or social context.

I feel like you summed it up best w/ "It's like the show wrote two characters, will Graham in the dialogue of how everyone including himself sees him which is how we seem to be supposed to see him". It reminds me of the Midsommar arguments everyone was having back when it first came out, about weather or not it had a happy ending. I have the same opinion i do about Hannigram and Midsommar, that its awfully reductive to equate a character being pleased or satisfied or happy or whatever with a net-positive "good ending". I'd say Will is happy in his last scene, but he's certainly not sane or healthy. If you score based on protag's mood in their final scene, both Midsommar and Hannibal end on "positive" notes, but I don't think I have to explain why that's sort of irrelevant if you look at their plots for a second lol. It can be moving and passionate and your protag can be happy, but if there's serial murder and double suicide idk what to tell you kekw. Probably not The Good Ending, just a satisfying one.

I'd say Hannigram, as a whole, is a thematic departure. In my opinion, they never link it back around to fit in with the whole "psychological diagnosis is not an exact science" thing that Hannibal Lecter media tends to play into. just because Hannibal The Character believes that. It's here nor there imo, but it does feel like two concepts with similar enough emotions and aesthetics mushed together rather than weaving them together neatly. There is the Real Adult Life mental illness and trauma plotlines and... the Hannigram ones. idk. Both are interesting shows to watch! I'm a horror nerd lol I fucking love the romantic insanity shit, but together i think it loses whatever message they were trying to carry over from the Hannibal books.

Like listen. If you wanted it to be Super Fucked Up Murder Husband Show then why do they make it seem like Will actually harbors deep unresolved hatred for Hannibal until the end of S3??? like, he should. that's the sane thing to do. But if you don't want sane Will, then you have to commit to that and make that mf evil!!! They have thee most random catharsis moments, if you look at it based on characterization and plot. I think it's super easy to ignore if you're watching because the emotional beats land pretty often because. well. These actors are amazing. There's not much else to say. Its brilliant because of the cinematogrophy, og concept, and acting. Unpopular opinion perhaps but the dialogue is high-level mid, B+. It's only brilliant because we're used to TV being atrocious with dialogue.

#like it sucks in the way that. the way Hannibal is always superior always getting out of stuff is such bad main character syndrome

and ^ honestly i have this complaint of every single Hannibal Lecter media. they literally gave this dude superpowers lol wtf do you MEAN you can name the smell of Clarice's perfume from YESTERDAY through a WALL??????

anyway ya those r some thoughts and uhhhh Beverly stan club

[tanadrin]

Dev Patel and the Green Knight

I finally got around to seeing The Green Knight. Overall, I enjoyed it--David Lowery does a good job capturing the essential weirdness of the tale, which is very much about taking a mundane circumstance (a Christmas feast) and suddenly catapulting the reader into a mythic otherworld through the intrusion of the alien and monstrous, and the fantastical costumes, dramatic lighting, and dissonant score all contribute very well to a sense of otherness that permeates the original story.

But I find it interesting--and, I'll admit, a little frustrating--that no modern film adaptation of medieval literature is really capable of taking the story it's adapting on its own merits. This isn't an objection to modifying the source text, or taking it in new, non-literal direction. I can think of plenty of adaptations of work that play with the source material in interesting ways, and are better for it. Even very faithful adaptations like Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings are inevitably going to alter the source based on the need to adapt it for the screen and the whims of the director. But when it comes to medieval classics, texts like Beowulf or Gawain and the Green Knight are always held at arm's length. An ironic layer is always interpolated into the original story, and even in modified form the story is never allowed to stand on its own.

Contrast, for instance, modern retellings of Arthurian legend; or Wagner's Nibelungenleid; or something like Neil Gaiman's book of Norse mythology. These are all adaptations of much older stories, all medieval; and the authors typically happy to let the stories operate on their own terms. In fact, that is often a selling point: dipping into these tales is a way of sampling an alien culture, one that is remote from us in time rather than space, and part of the sense of heightened drama is the understanding that these stories do not necessarily depict the world in the same way that modern realist prose does. They are fairy-stories, in the Tolkienian sense, and something not quite even like "high fantasy," which, although it is a genre which owes much to the mythic tradition, is usually *told* in the same manner as other realist fiction. And you could take these stories and re-cast them in a realist mold--that's definitely been done with Arthurian legend, either via anachronism or trying to place them in an era-appropriate historical context, and even that yields something quite like the original in tenor, even if the language used to relate the story is often very different.

Watching this movie, I was *strongly* reminded of Robert Zemeckis's Beowulf, in that this did not feel like an attempt to adapt Gawain and the Green Knight for the screen. It felt like an attempt to tell a story *about* Gawain and the Green Knight (the text), a story which does not stand on its own. You don't have to have read the text to understand the movie (although I think some directorial decisions would be a bit mystifying if you hadn't), but the movie definitely situates itself *as a response* to the text. Which is an odd choice! Actually, another good point of comparison is Spike Jonze's Adaptation. It started life as an adaptation of Susan Orlean's The Orchid Thief, but Charlie Kaufman sort of gave up writing that halfway through and wrote a movie about the difficulty he was having writing *that* movie, and the result is something very weird (and very good) that is full of metafictional elements that depend on the existence of this other work, in a way that a straight retelling of The Orchid Thief for the screen obviously would not. And while The Green Knight isn't that extreme, it is definitely playing on the structure of the medieval poem, and replying to it.

The core of the movie (as I understood it) is a tension between young Gawain's aspiration to knightliness, his ambition which is born at least in part from his mother's encouragement, and his own failure to live up to the heroic ideal of greatness. Not chivalric--this is a movie in which the ethos of chivalry makes not even the briefest of appearance, which is weird given that it's nominally an Arthurian romance, and that the chivalric ethos is extremely important to the original text. Instead we have a generic greatness being described, one which is associated with renown, with taking part in mythic events, and with achieving high rank and honor. In the service of seeing her son obtain all this, Gawain's mother seems to cast some kind of spell, whereupon the titular Green Knight appears at Arthur's Christmas-feast; and as in the poem, a game of beheadings is proffered. Gawain accepts the challenge, beheads the knight, and the knight rides away, promising he'll meet Gawain a year and a day hence at the Green Chapel. So far so straightforward. When Gawain sets off a year later to meet the knight, his mother gives him an enchanted belt to keep him safe from harm. Gawain goes on to have a couple of side-of-the-road adventures and mishaps, the kind of thing that's par for the course when you're telling an Arthurian romance, until he arrives at the house of a mysterious benefactor, just about a day away from the Chapel, who grants him hospitality until the day of his challenge.

Now, in the original story, this is where Gawain gets the magic belt, and it's hugely important: Gawain and his host promise to exchange anything they might receive at the end of each day, when the host has been out hunting all day and Gawain has been in the house recuperating from his travels. During this time, the host's wife repeatedly tries to seduce Gawain; and Gawain is trapped between the imperative not to sleep with his host's wife (a major violation of the rules of good chivalric conduct!) and the imperative not to offend the woman (also a violation of those rules). He succeeds, for the most part; he is forced at one point to give his host a kiss at the end of the day, since the wife kissed him; this is shown as him holding nothing back and acting in good faith on the vow he made to his host. When Gawain finally rebuffs the wife for good, she insists that, even if he won't sleep with her, he should at least take a magic belt she has woven that will keep him from harm. He does; but he does *not* give this to his host. When he finally goes to the Green Chapel, the Knight returns the original blow as promised--but only nicks Gawain lightly. He reveals himself to be none other than the host who was sheltering him; the nick was his reprimand for withholding that final gift, but because of his good conduct he is otherwise left unharmed. The whole thing was a test of sorts, one which Gawain passed. Despite flinching at first from the blow, and keeping the belt secret, he shows himself ultimately to be a man of good (albeit not perfect) conduct, and *that* is why he wins honor from the whole affair.

The movie takes this basic narrative and alters it in key places, completely changing the valence of the whole thing. First, Gawain gets the belt at the beginning of his quest, as mentioned; he loses it on the way, but when he reaches the castle, the wife of his host (who succeeds in seducing him with a handjob) presents it to him as if she had woven it herself. He does not actually engage in the game of exchanged with his host, who is *also* not the Green Knight. And we're treated to a monologue about the color green from the wife that feels beat for beat like it's been ripped off from someone's undergraduate essay about Gawain and the Green Knight, which is a little weird even in the context of the rest of the movie. Finally when Gawain reaches the chapel, the knight goes to return the blow--and Gawain completely chickens out and flees. We are then treated to an extended sequence of Gawain returning home; being feted as a hero; earning his knighthood (presumably by lying about what happened); succeeding Arthur as king; him abandoning his low-class beau once she bears him a son, and marrying a princess; going to war; his son dying in a war; and finally, as an old man, being trapped in his throne room as a besieging army breaks its way inside. Just before they do, he removes the magic belt from around his waist, his head fall off, and bam--we're shown this has been an Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge thing this whole time, and the Green Knight has not yet landed his blow.

Gawain finally takes off the belt, throws it aside, and tells the knight to go ahead--and the knight bends down and congratulates him. In context, the reading seems to be this: the belt is a talisman of Gawain's mother's influence, of external expectations for what kind of man he is. The Knight is Arthur or perhaps an agent of his, and the test in *this* case is whether Gawain can be his own person. All the events leading up to this point are perhaps a part of the original magic Gawain's mother cast, an effort to Lilith Weatherwax her kid to greatness by putting him into an epic story. Implicitly, then, the Gawain and the Green Knight we all know is the false version of the tale, the tale as Gawain's mother would have it told.

This is all very clever. But I'm afraid it's so clever it falls apart in the end. Because the structure of the original story that this depends on is dependent in turn on taking the whole notion of chivalric virtue seriously, which this movie plainly does not. Gawain is shown as irreverent and lustful and a bit of a party animal--lovable and good hearted fundamentally, but definitely not an Arthurian hero. That's fine, but that's a very modern sort of character, one that feels out of place in a movie that is trying very hard also to be tonally unmodern, firmly embedded in a mythic otherwhen of Arthurian legend. Moments of slice-of-life mundaneness, while charming, strain mightily against the epic tone the movie tries to take in other places, and strange events like a ghost seeking her lost head or immense giants striding the landscape. We are jostled: are we in the land of myth? Or are we in historical Britain? We cannot be in both!

And this is a movie that was definitely made by people who had read the original text; not just the original text, but also a great deal of criticism *about* the original text. The movie namechecks the theme of fivefold symmetry that's incredibly important to the structure of the poem; there's the aforementioned undergrad essay about colors about 3/4th of the way through; and there's the fact that the structure of the original plot (down to Morgan LeFay in disguise as an old woman in the host's castle) is present in altered form in every detail. But none of these details add up to much. There's a weird homoerotic kiss with the host that implies that in fact *he* wanted to sleep with Gawain, in addition to his wife; the ghost Gawain encounters early on tells him the Green Knight is in fact someone he knows (and therefore *can't* be the host; I think it's implied to be Arthur, like I said, but this is never quite confirmed), and while all these things *about* the original poem are shown, none of them ever get integrated thematically into the plot.

I think as a result, whatever Lowery was going for, the whole movie kind of falls apart in the end. And that's a pity, because somewhere in there is just a really weird, visually striking, really gripping, embellished-and-polished-for-modern-sensibilities-but-also-thematically-true-to-the-source retelling of Gawain and the Green Knight. And that would have been a much better movie! What are we to make of this, a movie that purports to be telling a story-behind-the-story, but one that leaves no room or context for the original? After all, Gawain in the end does *not* flee, does not return home a coward and a liar; presumably, he earns his honor, and can be honest about what happened. But if he is honest, none of the rest of what we have been shown makes a lick of sense, or has any point.

One feels a bit as if modern directors, when confronted with medieval texts being a bit weird, a bit alien in their worldview, instead of realizing that's actually something people like some of from time to time, feel like they have to construct an artificial bridge between the Middle Ages and the present day. But because it is invariably metafictional and self-referential, as if to say "don't worry, we know nobody REALLY wants to watch a bunch of boring medieval shit played straight," it comes off as cringing and ashamed of its source material. This isn't a plea for historicity! Gawain and the Green Knight is not history. But one does occasionally want to see an adaptation of one's favorite works without directors being ashamed of the text they are adapting! And since most people will not have read the original, I am rather confused about what the director intends for the audience to get out of all these references that are dependent on it, but don't stand on their own merits within the narrative of the movie itself.

The acting was good, the set design and costumes were terrific, I loved the slow and measured pacing and the weird score, and the design of the Knight himself, and the landscapes and almost everything else about the movie. So I don't think it's a waste of time, especially if you have read and enjoyed Gawain and the Green Knight, in the original or in translation. But it's definitely a pity to see a movie that was, well, *almost* great, but ended up merely OK.

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION EPISODE 6 THOUGHTS

SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

GOOD GOD I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS

GIF NOT MINE

pietro maximoff as ‘himself’ | in the opening credits, pietro is introduced as playing himself? this just made me more suspicious about him and who he really is. it’s like wanda (since she’s the one broadcasting her show) trying to convince us, and herself, that this is her dead brother.

billy talking to us | i know tommy talks to the camera at the beginning for a brief minute but it’s mainly billy talking. i think this was a hint at his incoming powers. plus, in promo trailers for the ‘modern family’ episode, wanda’s the one talking to the camera. i bet we’ll see the kids talk to the camera in that episode but i just find it interesting that billy’s the one leading us through the beginning of the episode. plus, in rewatching the episode, pietro seems to be aware of billy talking to us and reacts to when billy talks about vision and wanda’s relationship going through a rough patch.

haydick hayward’s an ass | there’s no denying that hayward has something up his suspicious ass. first with showing the footage of wanda stealing vision’s body. then, putting in a missile and planning on killing wanda. yea, the five years were hard for everyone - no one’s denying it but there’s just something that isn’t right. we clearly see that he’s hiding something when darcy finds a file of sorts that only hayward can see and that he’s been able to track vision without telling the team. either he’s got a personal vendetta or he’s covering for something more sinister. personally, i think he’s just pissed that wanda, one of the most powerful beings in the universe, took away vision’s body when he needed it to create more weapons and whatever else he was planning. i wanted monica to punch him in the throat when he told her it was better that she wasn’t around when her mom died. bless monica for keeping her cool.

wanda’s interaction with herb | their brief interaction makes me believe that herb is just as aware as agnes (if she happens to be a victim in all this and not agatha harkness) about what’s happening. we got a hint about it in episode 3 when he tried to tell vision what geraldine’s purpose in westview was. we see him mimic agnes from the previous episode when he asks wanda if there’s anything she wants changed. he looks to her the same way agnes did when she was thrown off script. both these times involve vision throwing everything off. vision’s the one that’s been off script from the beginning of the episode this time around instead of after a weird event.

residents being in a loop or immobile | as vision gets farther from wanda and explores westview, it’s evident that there’s something off about the people. we get that shot of the woman and presumably her husband stuck in a time loop of hanging decorations and putting a pumpkin on the front steps. the woman not only sheds a tear but her hands look purplish presumably because of the cold or being stuck doing the same task for god knows how long. clearly, the woman’s in pain and is aware that she can’t break free. as vision gets closer to the loop, residents are completely immobile and stuck wherever they stand. it’s eerie and further proves that this may be wanda’s doing and wherever she is, it’s easy for the residents to be active or for her to control those near her. it could also mean that the closer you are to the hex’s border, that you become immobile as you’re farther removed from the fantasy life wanda has created.

yo-magic commercial | by far the creepiest and most disturbing commercial in the series. i’ve seen people theorize that this commercial is referring to wanda’s detainment on the raft in civil war. it would make sense since the yogurt could represent wanda’s powers and opening the lid should be simple and easy, just like using your powers. on the raft, wanda was detained with a straitjacket and a collar on her neck so she couldn’t use her magic. the island could represent the raft since it was in the ocean. ‘yo-magic, the snack for survivors’ could represent wanda being a survivor in many instances: strücker’s experiments, the battle of sokovia and the lagos incident.

pietro’s ‘part’ | when wanda questions pietro, he gets defensive about how he’s just trying to do his part: come unexpectedly, create tension with vision, stir up trouble with the twins, and ultimately give wanda grief. grief holding a double meaning. obviously, pietro did bring wanda grief when he died in 2015 but it also means to cause trouble which he has done since his arrival to westview. whenever wanda questions him about their childhood or tries to trip him up, pietro retorts with a question or makes rather meta remarks about westview.

the details are fuzzy | the comment pietro makes after a moment of silence between them. he claims he got shot in the middle of the street and next thing he knew wanda was calling her. i think when ‘pietro’ was brought into the westview reality, his memories mixed with those of wanda’s pietro or skewed them at least - it’s probably why things seem hazy to him and can see that wanda doesn’t believe him to be the pietro she remembers. pietro knows he looks different to wanda and it’s like a comment to us because even though pietro only appeared in one movie with wanda - we the audience know he’s not the same actor. this could also be mephisto really mind tripping wanda because she would remember what her brother looked like but the memories are remembered differently. enough to keep her on edge with him and make her suspect but not want to because he also says “i knew you needed me” no stranger would say that right? of course, siblings and family can tell when another member needs them. this episode really makes you laugh at pietro’s antics but go down a rabbit hole with every line he says.

the hex’s effects on people | when darcy explains to monica that her cells have been greatly affected by her entrance and departure from the hex, it doesn’t seem like monica is surprised. maybe this is hinting that monica already has her powers or simply mean that she’s putting on a poker face to hide her fear (or astonishment) at wanda’s level of power. it’s interesting to see if wanda’s gonna be responsible for birthing some mutants or at least awakening the x gene if it hasn’t already. does it mean that anyone can simply leave or that if you leave, you’ll come out with serious side effects that are possibly life threatening? monica states at the end that she’s seen cells in remission which makes me believe that this is hinting at the x gene. we’ve seen what the hex does once you go in, but what happens if an ordinary westview resident leaves?

agnes and vision | we see agnes in her car supposedly leaving town or as she claims, she got ‘lost’. when vision takes her out of her trance, agnes seems shaken and even questions if she’s dead. she also seems to confirm that wanda is the one controlling everyone because she doesn’t even let them think about leaving westview. we see more of where vision’s memory stands because he doesn’t remember (or know) that he was an avenger and that he died (twice). when she says that all is lost, she quickly starts laughing maniacally like a witch. this again makes me think that agnes knows more than anyone what’s going on. assessing what she got from vision, she’s probably laughing because it’s amazing to her that wanda’s gotten so powerful and maybe everything is going according to plan - she just possibly couldn’t overcome wanda’s control and only has a heightened awareness of the situation. there’s no mention of ralph this episode and you would think she’d bring along her husband to leave and go to her desired destination in town. i don’t know, i still think she’s got an ulterior motive and plays a bigger part in all of this.

the twins’ conversation | after sharing a sweet moment, pietro quickly calls out the obvious - the kids. only in episode 3 did children finally come into the show through billy and tommy. now, for halloween, all the kids are out and enjoying halloween. pietro, like rapid fire, remarks that wanda probably kept them peacefully asleep in their beds and didn’t wake them until now for the “occasional holiday episode cameo” so as not to traumatize them even more since she’s always been the “empathetic twin”. he seems to know that this is all in a television reality which gives him even more awareness than any other supporting character we’ve met so far. he even goes into assessing (and somewhat praising?) wanda’s handling of this whole westview reality as ethically possible. he knows that wanda wouldn’t rewrite everything: couples and families stay together and personalities aren’t far off from what they are. with this, it heavily hints that this isn’t the pietro we’ve known in the mcu or the peter from the x-men universe. to me, this furthers the point that this ‘pietro’ is just a puppet for whoever is behind all this (or just a multiverse version of piet) since he seems more impressed than anything by wanda’s powers. also, he’s been the only one to ask what we’ve all been thinking since the first episode: how the hell did wanda do this? once again, wanda doesn’t remember how all of it started which still makes me thinks she was probably taken advantage of by someone and earlier in the episode when recounting a childhood memory, pietro comments that she’s probably suppressed the trauma hence why she doesn’t remember it the same way. at the end, this could all be wanda’s doing due to her feeling so alone and grieving that she may have suppressed that memory of how this all started.

pietro’s corpse | again, us the audience and wanda are reminded that this universe’s pietro is dead. it’s another person closest to wanda that isn’t alive - harking back to her comment about feeling so alone and endless nothingness. this may just be that when wanda lets her guard down and is possibly at peace with a situation, this one being of her accepting that this is the pietro that’s going to be her brother that sticks with her moving forward, she’s reminded of the truth - none of it is real and she can’t bring them back.

vision’s breakout from the hex | as we’ve seen in promos, vision is able to break through the hex. what we were hit with was vision nearly getting killed...again. it seems that he can’t live beyond the hex either due to him just being parts when wanda recovered him or because wanda won’t let him go. either way, vision can’t live outside of westview. it physically seems like wanda can’t let him go because as he steps out of the hex and is being torn apart, the hex looks like it’s trying to pull him back into it. i know the hex was wanda’s doing but this physically makes it seem as if wanda can’t let him go and is holding him back. it’s kind of true because since vision became more aware, he’s been breaking away from wanda and she’s been trying to keep him in place and on script so that they can be happy together. in their fight in the previous episode, she says that all of this is for them as to say that everything she’s doing is for their happiness. it’s a twisted way of showing how vision can’t live without wanda since it seems that she’s the one keeping him alive.

wanda expanding the hex | wanda’s clearly gotten more powerful over the years and this episode really shows us how fucking powerful she is on her own. it’s hysterical that the base and the most of the agents are turned into circus acts such as clowns. i’ll admit i’m upset darcy got sucked in and not hayward. i’m very interested to see who monica’s guy on the outside is. with wanda expanding the hex, it’s becoming more evident that wanda may be the ‘villain’ of the show or if there is someone else behind all of this, we may not see them until multiverse of madness. still, i believe wanda is victim in some capacity - even if it means she’s fallen victim to her trauma and grief.

[waitingforseason5]

@kyushuplease​ This is from the 2012 S4 episode: Dethcamp. Wrt catching up on the show, it depends on what season you last watched. 

Regardless, here is The Great Metalocalypse Plot Round-up of Key Events:

Season 1:

Dethklok are revealed to be apparent demigods, according to Sumerian cuneiform.

Dick Knubbler becomes Dethklok’s music producer.

Murderface’s backstory is brought to light in Performanceklok.

A fan going by the name of Edgar Jomfru is thrown in Mordland’s jail after attempting to pirate ‘Fansong’.

We learn that Toki Wartooth has a kind of “everything I love dies!” schtick going on for reasons unknown.

The Tribunal’s General Crozier sends in a hitman for hire to assassinate Dethklok, but ends up dying in a comically brutal way.

Crozier locates another assassin, who happens to be the hitman’s younger brother, who then swears revenge against the band for being the apparent cause of his demise.

The Metal Masked Assassin (MMA) crashes one of their big concerts and pursues them into the Arctic wilderness. This is where we find out that their CFO is secretly a badass, as he singlehandedly defeats the Assassin. All the while this is happening, the Klokateer army is facing against the Tribunal’s army - to which the Klokateers are defeated. Mr. Salacia shows up and kills the Cardinal and puts Crozier to sleep before they could kill Dethklok - and ultimately alter the course of the prophecy surrounding the band.

With the death of a religious figure, the gears of the prophecy are set in motion...

Season 2:

Vater Orlaag takes the Cardinal’s place at the Tribunal.

The MMA helps Edgar Jomfru to escape Mordland prison grounds and they form an organised terrorist group known as The Revengencers.

Pickles’s brother, Seth gets married to Amber - they have a kid which may be supernatural.

Nathan Explosion gets in touch with his Yaneemango roots, and the band discover their spirit animals.

Nathan oceanic abilities are made evident in this season, as well as his backstory in Dethgov.

Toki’s backstory is revealed. Toki’s father dies and an episode later, he goes full berserker mode in Snakes N’ Barrels II.

Dethklok completes their album, and their 5 respected planets begin to align.

Murderface continues development on his side gig: Planet Piss.

The Revengencers attack; Mordhaus burns.

Crozier gets brainwashed and possessed by Mr. Salacia. 

Edgar has a change of heart and spares Dethklok - ending up being recaptured by the Klokateers.

The season ends with the apparent death of their manager.

Season 3:

Charles comes back apparently from the dead, and stops Dethklok from signing their careers away.

Skwisgaar’s backstory is revealed in Fatherklok.

Pickles backstory in Rehabklok.

Charles goes into full dad-mode in Doublebookedklok, and we find out that he’s The Dead Man in the Dethprophecy - the shepherd that would never lead the Chosen Ones astray.

The final shots of the S3 finale show that Edgar is now working for Charles behind the scenes, and we then have a brief flash of Charles/His Demonic Form/Mr. Salacia, before the finale’s end.

Season 4: 

Mordhaus is rebuilt, and Mordland is once again rejoined from the air to the Earth.

Nathan’s connection to the Whale Prophet is shown; his state of heightened emotions seems to cause tumultuous weather again, and he destroys the record that his band had just completed.

Edgar informs Charles that the Whales around them are signalling something, which he deciphers as “Dethklok must go back into the water...”

Abigail Remeltindtdrinc joins the staff as a record producer, and throughout the episodes, Nathan develops a soft spot for her.

This and the destruction of the record, puts a strain on Nathan and Pickles’s relationship.

Meanwhile, Toki befriends the band’s former rhythm guitarist (aka. the one he replaced).

We see through a flashback that Magnus Hammersmith was kicked out of the band because of how violent and hard to work with he was.

Dethklok break up.

Since he needs the band together, Mr. Salacia finally gets off that throne chair and shows up at their final concert - killing Roy Cornickelson in the process.

Charles and the high holy priest Ishnifus Meaddle give Dethklok a tour of the Church of the Black Klok - an underwater church dedicated to the prophecy surrounding the band.

It’s revealed that they are to fight the Half Man (aka. Salacia) in a final battle to decide the fate of mankind.

Before anything further can be explained, they attend Roy’s funeral.

Nathan finally apologises to Pickles, they make up, and Dethklok are revived once again.

The funeral gets invaded by the Revengencers. Magnus reveals that he was with the Revengencers this whole time, and therefore stabs and kidnaps Toki, along with Abigail.

The finale ends with Charles telling them that they need to produce a final song that’ll be their salvation against the Half Man. The band themselves swear revenge against the attackers, and they set to find Toki and Abigail. 

The Doomstar Requiem Special

The Doomstar is born.

Abigail and Toki have been held captive for quite some time underground the building where Toki had his first audition.

His band of brothers have lost themselves with drinking, partying, doing drugs, in an attempt to forget the pain of their missing guitarist, and former record producer.

Ishnifus encourages Charles to let Dethklok have the chance to prove their heroic capabilities (since they are destined to lead a far greater battle in the near future)

Since this breaks Charles’s oath as band manager, Charles sadly hands in his resignation and leaves the band alone with Ishnifus.

Along the way, Murderface meets a shapeshifted younger version of Mr. Salacia, who then “accidentally” scratches him with his infected gauntlet spikes. Thus, sealing Murderface’s fate as the Traitor among Dethklok.

Ishnifus dies protecting Dethklok against the MMA - turns out, his death was prophesised. 

Dethklok then gather the courage and determination to rescue their bandmate-bro and Abigail, while awakening their inner powers, with the Doomstar turning to red. They unconsciously use the powers of the Dethlights to render the MMA to nothing but a crimson cloud. 

Magnus sees that he was in the wrong the whole time, and commits suicide.

Dethklok are reunited; Charles is initiated as the new High Holy Priest; and the afflicted Murderface spirals onto a dark and twisted path.

[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: What's left behind

*Credit to gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Reader

Pov: Deans

Warnings: Talking about past fights, including scars, Dean, Fluff, Dean!Fluff, laying in bed together, swearing, mentions of past smut, verging on implied smut, playfulness, Sassy reader.

Summary: Laying down with Y/n she starts to point out all my scars and tell her some stories I've not told anyone else.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This is for band--psycho 1.5k followers Bingo Challenge. I'm so excited that I get to be a part of this writing bingo challenge.

Square- Scars

Masterlist

Taglist: @band--psycho @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69

Y/n had just showered and was getting ready for bed. We'd already been together for so long that it had turned into a traditional thing for the two of us.

Every time that Y/n showered and we were going to be in bed I'd give Y/n a shirt of mine and she wears just that and a pair of panties. Seeing as we were just going to bed. There wasn't a single night that we didn't do that cycle.

Y/n would grab the remote to the TV, and I could turn our bedroom overhead light off, turning on the side table light instead. Y/n would climb under the sheets of our bed, grab a book and throw the remote in my general direction.

I'd climb under the sheets., and flick through the man channels that we have. Before landing on the same stupid cartoons that I wasn't able to watch as a child seeing as I was taking care of Sam.

After a few episodes of cartoons, Y/n would put her book down along with her reading glasses and cuddle up with me. Ask me what we were watching. "We're watching scooby-doo. I think it's actually an older version of the cartoon." I said this time around.

She snuggled closer and draped her uncovered leg over my pajama pant leg. The pajamas always make her laugh. The ones that have hotdogs printed them. My shirt grazing over my bare chest.

This is how we fell asleep. Snuggled close to each other, our arms wrapped around each other in the most intimate, protective sort of way. This night was different though.

Y/n started to trace my light scars that covered my body. The ones from being stabbed, or shot during a hunt. Or just the simple more domestic ones like the cuts I get while I shave my jaw.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" I asked her, truly wondering what had gotten into Y/n.

"You know, we do the same thing every night. I have seen you shirtless many times. In many different situations, and I've never asked you were certain scars come from. Talking about the ones that came before I was in your life, baby." Y/n said still tracing scar lines.

“You want me to describe my scars?” I asked her. A little confused as to what Y/n was asking me. “Yes, you goofy! What do you think I was asking?” Y/n said rolling her eyes and smirking at me.

“Okay, I get that. Pick a scar and I’ll try to tell you the story of said scar.” I noted.

Y/n grazed her fingers over my shoulder, down my forearm, around the side of my stomach, and then she abruptly turned me to my side. Tracing her hand down the back of my spine. Then Y/n turned me back around on my back. Pointing at the scar that was on my stomach.

It was a long slender cut. It was about midway down my stomach right above my belly button. “This one, Deanie. Tell me the story of this one.” Y/n voiced.

I had to think for a moment. Going back recalling the memories and fights of old hunts. “Let’s see this is a scar from about six years ago. Sam, and I were on a hunt to kill a Ruagru. It was down in South Carolina. The town was on the smaller side.”  I stated. I took a breath in and then let it go, and continued talking.

“The drive was nice, and it was during the summer. So, the three layers of clothes and long flannels needed to come off. This time around Sam and I only had one layers clothes on. We went ahead and did the research for the hunt. The town was losing many kids. The kids in the morgue had they had absolutely no blood in their bodies. That was odd for the small town to deal with.”

Y/n tapped my shoulder, “Is this story a long one?” She asked giggling. “Patience my dear child!” I said starting to tickle her sides. “TELL the story, Dean!” Y/n shrieked. “Okay, okay I’ll tell you the story.” I spoke.

“Sam eventually found out where the ruagru was staying. He found out like the little hacker he is by duh hacking into the tariff lights and such and tracking them down that way. It was of course an old barn, down an old torn up road deep in the woods. Like really, but whatever right. So, we grabbed our shit from the back of baby and got to work. Now let me set the stage for this hunt.”

Y/n hummed in a response for me to continue.

“The barn was old like I have already said, the outside was painted red, but it was so old that most of the paint had come off already. The inside was much different, it was fixed up and made to be livable I would assume. Sam and I snuck in through an open space near the doors of said barn. Sam had a Molotov cocktail, and I had a weapon that looked fucking awesome.”

I said with excitement flowing through my words. Y/n raised her eyebrows and shook her head. Like I was child who had just said the stupidest thing ever, but she doesn’t want me to know.

“It was just a demon killing knife, I bet.” Y/n said rolling her eyes.

“Hey, hey now don’t ruin my story now.” I spoke. Hushing her and continuing on telling my story.

“So yes, a demon killing knife is was I had. I walked in first being the over protective brother that I am. Sam behind me and ready to throw his Molotov cocktail. I was ready for anything if there was more than just one monster. When we finally found the ruagru I guess I must have startled them because they turned around and were in my face within seconds. Within seconds after that they had picked me and thrown me all the way through a wall. The old sherds of woods grazing past my stomach.”

“OH, ahhh!” Y/n said being a smartass.

“Don't be a smartass Y/n. Let me finish the story you so gracefully wanted.” I spoke.

She shrugged and bumped my shoulder with hers. Letting me continue telling my story.

“I didn’t realize until long after Sam and I had killed the ruagru was killed that I was bleeding through my shirt. Sam was actually the one to realize that I was bleeding. I was so mad when that shirt got ruined by the time, we were able to clean our clothes the next time. I ended up throwing away the shirt.” I said with a sad tone behind my voice.

“What was on the shirt?” Y/n said a worried expression on my face.

“You know to think about it now, I think it was an ac/dc shirt, or maybe an old guns and roses shirt that I had found in a local thrift shop at one point long ago. To be honest with you I hadn’t really thought about that since that moment.” I said shrugging my shoulders.

“Can we do one more, before we go to bed?”  Y/n asked me nuzzling up closer in to my chest. I wrapped my arm around her and roughly brought her as close as we could possibly be to each other.

“Sure baby, choose away!” I said, a yawn ending my sentence.

She looked around and ended up landing on the cut just underneath my jawline. She outlined it and then said; “What about this one?” Giving Y/n a rather confused expression I made sure that was the one she wanted next. “Are you sure? This one doesn’t really have a great story behind it.” I spoke.

“Duh you goof I realized that, but still, I want the story for this one.... PRETTY PLEASE!” Y/n said screaming the last part. I looked over at her, with my eyebrows raised far up on my forehead. She giggled when she looked up at me, “I’m right here sweetheart. There’s no need to scream!” I whispered. “Whatever you say grandpa.” Y/n came back with.

This time my mouth was wide open my eyebrows still far up on my forehead. I rolled my eyes and closed my mouth. “I’m just going to forget that statement and start my story.” I said, “So, this little scar is actually from when I shaved for our first date.” I said getting thought in thoughts about our first date.

Y/n wore a beautiful short red dress, paired with a pair flats. Y/n pretty much had no make-up on and wore her hair naturally. I took her not to a bar, but an actually four stared restaurants, not that far from the bunker. That night ended very much at the front of Y/n’s bedroom door.

But I remember as I went to walk back to my room. I was pulled by my wrist into Y/n’s plump lips. Now I’m not going to say kissing Y/n didn’t make me feel like a teenager all over again but that’s pretty much what it felt like.

That night we went slow mostly because I knew in that moment when Y/n pulled me into her lips that I wanted to be with her forever. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. That only made everything else feel more heightened.

I went slow with her, learning the curves of her body that night. I just listened to her body, I wasn’t trying to show off, or make her remember me. That was something we could do later, but in that moment, I just want to feel her and be with her in every single way.

I was forcible pulled from my thoughts when Y/n jerked my arm rather hard. “What!”  I said a stream of worry flowing through my bones. “Nothing, don’t get you panties in a wade. I just was wondering if you were done telling that story?” Y/n asked with raised eyebrows

“Umm. To be honest with you. All I can remember from that night was how beautiful you looked, and how that night at your bedroom door that I wanted to spend that rest of my days with you. I knew right then that no matter what Chuck said or what Billy said that we were going to be together because I love you.” I said kissing her lips.

Just like every time I kiss her lips it reminds me that she isn’t going to leave. That we are together through anything that could possibly be chucked at us. It reminds me that I’ve got everything I need and it’s all in the room.

When we released each other lips, Y/n looked at me, with bruised lips and said; “I love you to y’know. I remember that day so vividly too. You were wearing your normal jeans and a nicer shirt; we went to a four-star restaurant, I think. I remember you dropping me off at my bedroom door. I so wanted to kiss you before I shut that door, but I couldn’t balls up. I guess that thought of this never happening was too overpowering because the moment I heard your shoes start to fade I opened the door and took the best leap of my life. I love you too Dean.” Y/n said.

Y/n kissed me again in the process ended up in my lap. “Y’know we always end up like this.” I stated as Y/n kissed down my neck. My hands falling down to hips. “This is going to end up with you being submissive, and taking me so well dear.” I spoke. Digging my nails into her hips. She bucked.

“Not too fast naughty boy. Treat your girl to a show first” Y/n said winking at me, before somehow getting out of grasp and running out of our room and down the hall. “Let’s play a quiet game of tag baby. Oh, and just to let y’know. You’re it Dean.” Y/n said running down the hall.

“Yeah, yeah. You better keep running little girl. Because once I catch you. You will be bombarded with kisses all over your body.” I yelled as I followed her around the bunker halls.

“He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none” - Madeline Miller, Circe.

Completed on: 04/07/2021

[charming-2d-boys]

Hi, I just want to say that I really love your writings and they actually really help me relax after a hard day!😊But today i just wanted to feel pain, so can I please have a dying! reader headcannon with Chrollo. If you do write for these, Im really sorry if you dont.

Oh, anon, who hurt you? I'll make myself cry, most probably 😭

Anyway, thank you and I'm glad to hear that! 😄 And thank you for the request as well! I hope you'll enjoy this! 🙇

A/N: the idea sorta came while listening to A Grave Mistake by Ice Nine Kills (I love the live version from SiriusXM, like please 😭💞). And I was so close to writing a scenario and then I read headcanons and I just kinds stopped like oh, yeah 😂

Warning: very long, angsty, description of injuries and death

you’d never thought it could hurt so badly

or that there’d be so much blood

but, alas, that was the unfortunate situation you found yourself in

the several gashes you’d acquired during your fight were making you dizzy from blood loss

your attacker had died a few seconds before, blood still flowing from the stomach wound you gave him

that was also the only serious hit you managed to land on him

unfortunately, you just knew that it only saved you for a bit more time

you had barely managed to get out your phone, only to see the screen cracked

and you were honestly scared it wouldn't work, but you felt relief when the screen lit up

you called Chrollo, but you had to put the phone on the ground, next to your ear

you had never felt happier to hear his voice

if only you could see him one last time as well...

Hello, love! And Happy Anniversary! Where are you? I hope you're on your way because I wouldn't want dinner to get cold-

Chrollo...

he suddenly went quiet as he heard you and you could hear shuffling in the background

(Y/N), where are you?

you told him, wheezing when you felt a sharp pain in your side as you tried to breathe in more air

you heard more shuffling before the city noise filled the background on the other end

Stay on the phone with me. Tell me what happened.

it hurt so badly to talk

your throat felt as dry as bone and also wet and the taste of blood was prominent

but you tried to talk, telling him about the one who attacked you while on your way home and how you tried to defend yourself, but their Nen far surpassed yours

apparently, your attacker had friends who wanted to destroy the Spider as well

and they would cling to anything that would hurt them or get them closer to the Phantom Troupe

you’d rather tell your boyfriend about this face to face, though

you did laugh and you heard his chuckle when you told Chrollo about the fatal hit you inflicted on your attacker

but when he asked you how bad your injuries were, you couldn’t answer

what were you supposed to say?

that you’d never seen so much blood in your entire life?

or that you could feel yourself slipping away?

(Y/N)? Talk to me, darling. I’m almost there. Just keep talking.

you told Chrollo about the cake you had bought and how you wanted to go on a date the next day or just sleep in and spend the entire day celebrating at home

he only hummed, hurrying over to you as fast as he could

good thing Shalnark installed an app on your phone that allowed Chrollo to pinpoint your location with accuracy

he swore he’d only use it in case of emergency and he’d kept his word

Chrollo felt his heart drop into his stomach when he saw your figure and all the blood surrounding you and the figure a few meters away from you

(Y/N)? I’m here now. Everything’s going to be fine, okay?

his hand caressed your cheek while the other hovered over your waist, where most of the blood seemed to come from

you leaned into his touch, smiling at him despite all the pain you felt and the numbness that started to overtake your limbs

Chrollo had already called Machi to heal you and Feitan, more for reinforcement than anything

and a few seconds later you could both hear them rapidly approaching you

Machi, please.

she only nodded and got to work, with Feitan going over to your attacker and inspecting him closely

Chrollo held your hand the entire time, smiling down at you and kissing your knuckles, hoping that you’d be saved and coming back with him injured, but alive

Machi managed to stitch most of your wounds and the bleeding stopped, but you were still pale and trembling from all the blood loss

How are you feeling, love? Better?

you wanted to say yes, just to keep that hopeful sparkle in his eyes

but you couldn’t

No... It hurts a lot... I don’t think I’ll-

Stop. Don’t say it.

Machi had gotten up and taken a few steps away from the two of you, still hearing you, but giving you some privacy

she’d done her best and you were thankful for that

you had felt her hands tremble slightly

you were friends and her boss’ lover

the idea of someone else she grew close to dying was making her sick

and Chrollo felt the same way

despite being around death so often and for his entire life, he still hated the idea of someone he cared about leaving his side like this

it was too soon

he still had so many things he wanted to experience with you and show you

he couldn’t lose you just like that

it wasn’t fair

there were tears forming in his eyes and you felt your heart clench in pain and pity when they started descending down his cheeks

your fingers wiped them away, the dry blood on your fingertips leaving faint marks where they got the blood wet again

Shhh... Don’t worry, we’ll meet again one day. Okay? And I’ll watch over you. So don’t cry anymore, please.

you were no better since you were crying as well

it really wasn’t fair

you didn’t want to die

you didn’t want to leave Chrollo

and seeing him actually react like this really moved you

as cool and charming as he always acted, even with you for the most part

you really didn’t think that he felt so strongly about you

you kissed the top of his head lightly as his face rested over your neck, lips pressing over the still warm skin and moving as if he was mumbling

or praying

Chrollo, sweetheart, please, look at me.

his eyes were teary and a little bloodshot as his hands were holding tightly onto yours

you looked so pale, but you still smiled at him

and Chrollo felt his heart crack

because it was his fault

he should’ve kept you safe

he was still trying not to be loud

and only you could see his face and feel his trembling hands

It’s not your fault. Understood? Don’t blame yourself. I want you to promise me this.

he couldn’t do that and you knew it

he’d always feel some guilt because this could’ve been avoided

if only he’d been with you, he could’ve protected you

just like he promised you

and he broke it

I promise.

he knew how stubborn you were sometimes

you wouldn’t take no or I can’t for an answer

not this time

I love you, (Y/N). I’ll always do.

his voice was anything but loud

this was only for you to hear and no one else

not even Machi or Feitan

So will I, Chrollo. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, alright?

you smirked playfully, though even you felt like it was a pitiful attempt at making everything more light-hearted

he cracked a broken smile and kissed your forehead, arms slowly lifting you up so he could hug you properly

you hugged him back tightly, hand going through his hair as his hands clung to your torn clothes, feeling the dry blood that had soaked through

it honestly hurt to stay like this

but it didn’t matter anymore

even now, you felt safe in his arms

his cologne always brought you this feeling of familiarity and home

and his skin was so warm that you never wanted to part with him

but you slowly started feeling even more sluggish

there were black spots gradually growing in size and numbers and you closed your eyes, letting your other senses heighten

his breathing was ragged but still quiet

his fingers were digging into your skin only a little

his grip tightened just as yours started to weaken

you could only press a kiss to his shoulder before you felt a few more tears fall onto your skin

if only you could apologise for making him cry, you would’ve done it

but you could barely open your mouth to utter a whimpered sorry

and the last thing you heard was Chrollo, thanking you for loving him

as he got up, with your lifeless body in his arms, cradling you protectively

Chrollo looked down at your face

you looked as if you were sleeping

just like that time when you went to an amusement park and he had to carry you home because of how tired you were

if only there wasn’t so much blood and your body was warmer

Machi and Feitan were looking at the both of you without saying a word

Machi’s eyes were shining with unshed tears

while Feitan grimaced behind his mask

things would never be the same now that you were gone

he could already sense the change in Chrollo

Feitan, do you know who he is?

Yes, seen him before. Yakuza from the northern side of the city. Had a clash a few months ago.

Chrollo only nodded and his fingers tightened their grip a little over your skin that was growing colder

Let’s head back. After all, we should forgive our enemies. But not before they are hanged.

Chrollo and the other two Spiders walked away from the scene in silence

every memory the two of you had built over time, good or bad, was burnt into his mind and kept replaying

he glanced at you again

you would never be forgotten

you would always be loved

Chrollo swore this

and swore to get even and kill them all

revenge is a confession of pain

and he had never felt so much of it before