#and everyone else shows blatantly how little they care for me

[nachtnabelle]

i want him to want me. i dont care if he hurts me, i just want to believe that i can be wanted, and loved, and actually feel it. i want to believe i can be loved.

[bkgml]

meanie katsuki makes the reader jealous on purpose then she cries bc he thinks he doesnt love them anymore ☹️

katsuki messing up!

katsuki has never seen you get jealous. to him, anyone who looks your way is a threat. he wants you all to himself, it’s selfish he knows, but he just needs you so badly.

you never ever showing him you’re jealous annoys him to no end. do you even want him that bad? maybe you care less about him than he cares about you.

he takes his problem to kirishima. he’s the only one he trusts to talk about this.

“so? what do i do?” he asks.

“i don’t understand, you want her to be jealous?” kirishima questions.

“i guess. i just want her to show that she wants me.” katsuki frowns. he sounds so damn vulnerable right now.

“try and make her jealous then. see if she cares enough about you.”

“huh. how the fuck do i do that?” katsuki asks.

“anytime a girl comes up to you, flirting with you and stuff, flirt back a little. don’t tell them to fuck off like you normally do.”

“flirt back…”

“hey there, sexy.” a woman calls to katsuki in the street.

he’s used to this shit. people are always coming up to him in the street flirting with him. can’t they see you’re right there holding his hand?

‘flirt back’ he thinks.

“hey.” he smiles.

‘what the fuck? did he just flirt with her?’ you think to yourself. you’re used to seeing katsuki be flirted with, but to see him flirt back? how dare he?

you frown for a moment but quickly neutralize your face so he doesn’t see your jealousy, he’s never been disloyal you have no reason to nag him with jealousy.

things go on like this for weeks. someone will flirt with katsuki and he’ll blatantly flirt back. you’re growing upset. why is he doing this right in front of you?

eventually, you’re at your wits end.

you went to visit katsuki for lunch at his agency and he told his secretary to tell him you arrived while being discreet. he had a coworker in his office that’s always been flirty with him, touchy and blunt with suggestive remarks.

he decided to indulge her this time so you could walk in and see him flirting with her.

“hi, handsome. you wanted to see me?” she asked.

you arrived at his office and opened the door.

“uh huh. wanted to know why you were walking around with those tight ass pencil skirts.”

you stiffen.

“katsuki…?” you say, voice cracking.

“shit. why are you crying, pretty?” he stands and orders the woman out of his office.

he shuts the door and turns to you.

you look so small and fragile like this.

he cups your face but you back away shaking your head.

“are you cheating on me?” you say, tears finally falling.

“what? no. never.”

you look down, hands clenching into fists.

“then why have you been flirting with everyone? every single person who’s flirted with you in the past couple weeks you’ve flirted back. you’ve acted like i don’t even exist when someone else is there. i tried to let it go but now you’ve pushed me over the fucking edge katsuki!” you scream.

katsuki winces. he went way to far.

“it was a stupid fucking idea, baby. im so sorry, i pushed you too hard on this.” he defends.

you look up at him and glare.

“what idea?”

“i was talking to kirishima about how i’ve never seen you jealous and i was fucking insecure. i didn’t know if you wanted me because you always brush it off when other bitches flirt with me! he told me i should try to make you jealous!”

“you think it’s easy to brush it off? i was trying to not make you think i was clingy because i am so obviously out of your league! i thought you’d fucking leave me if i clung to you like this!” you’re pissed. he made you feel worthless because of some stupid idea?

“i wasn’t thinking. you’re out of my league, sweets. i messed up so fucking bad because i was insecure. can you forgive me? please? i don’t deserve it but i only have eyes for you and i always will.” he steps closer to you.

you think for a minute before sighing.

“i forgive you but i’m still fucking pissed. you’re going to be making this up to me for years.”

“promise. i’ll spend forever making this shit up to you.” he steps closer again.

“can i hold you now?” he pleads.

you laugh lightly and he smiles.

you raise your arms and katsuki rushes forward, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you.

he places kisses all over your face and neck before burying his face in your chest.

“i messed up.”

“yeah.” you smile.

he walks to his desk chair and sits with you in his lap.

he places a kiss to your lips.

“i’m an idiot.”

“yeah.”

he wipes your old tears off your face and kisses your temple.

“kirishimas an idiot too for giving me that advice.”

“yeah.”

you wrap your arms around his neck.

you kiss his nose.

“you’re perfect and no one else compares.”

“yeah.”

katsuki laughs and holds you tight to him. rubbing your back and weaving his fingers through your hair, breathing in your sweet perfume.

“wanna have lunch now?”

“yeah!”

[dyaz-stories]

found an island in your arms || Eun Hyuk x Reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings & tags: angst, eun hyuk deserves a hug and he gets one, eun hyuk is a little controlling towards the reader

previous one-shot

A/N: my entry for day two of @neohumanmonster's Turning a New Leaft event! Prompt: Change in Nature. While this is in relation with yesterday's entry, there is no need to have read it to understand this one, it just provides a little more context.

Eun Hyuk is more tense lately, more irritable. Everyone can feel it, though most people chalk it up to the dwindling rations and the growing fear that the army simply isn’t coming to save you. You can tell that Eun Yu doesn’t believe in that, though, and neither do you.

Eun Yu doesn’t seem to have an actual explanation for her brother’s out of character behavior. She pokes and probes and throws out cutting remarks to see what sticks, but she doesn’t seem all that worried either.

“He does that sometimes,” she answers you bluntly when you ask if she thinks Eun Hyuk is doing alright. “There’s probably something he wants to fix. I’m sure he’ll get there. He just needs a little push.”

That doesn’t satisfy you. You don’t like to sit idle while people are in pain, don’t like to sit idle at all, actually, even if someone is hammering that you’re doing it ‘for the greater good”. But the thing is, you and Eun Hyuk… don’t get along that well. You clashed a bunch in the beginning, before you were outvoted by the people who thought Eun Hyuk would bring them safety, at least. It was a short-term solution, what he was offering, you’d argued — to which he had replied that yours was a death sentence.

You still admired him. The decisions he had to make on a daily basis couldn’t be easy ones to make, nor were the sacrifices. Of course, you still often believed he chose wrong, but you had to admit that he had kept most of the group alive until now, and considering the circumstances, that was truly impressive.

You just wish that he would let you do more. Instead, he’s constantly getting in your way, particularly when it comes to helping the infected. ‘Your abilities could help the whole group’, he’d say. ‘We can’t afford to lose them because you trusted someone you shouldn’t have.’ It drove you insane, how easily he’d interfere, always with these pseudo rational arguments that you never really bought were genuine ones.

It felt as if they were just for show, and as such you never felt all that guilty for going against his orders.

You weren’t dumb. You wouldn’t put others in danger unless they were willing to risk themselves for something. But you also refused to let others get hurt through your own inaction. So if you had to sneak around to see Hyun-Su’s in order to treat his wounds and bring him food, then you’d do as you damn pleased, and neither Eun Hyuk nor anyone else had any say in that. It was your life, and it was your decision.

Still, you can’t say you’re thrilled when you find Eun Hyuk waiting for you when you exit Hyun-Su’s so-called room. He’s leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, and he gives you an annoyed look when you come out.

“What did I tell you?” he asks you coldly.

You grimace. The two of you are almost the same age, and you hate that patronizing tone he insists on taking with you.

“Hyun-Su needed help,” you say. “There is a limit to what even you can ask of me.”

He’s silent for a while. You notice him clenching his fists, and something unusually dark passes in his eyes. His jaw tenses, a vein bulges on his forehead. You think you’ve done it now, that you’re going to get an earful — even if you still don’t quite understand why. There’s simply no reason for him to care that much, and the lack of control is blatantly unlike him.

You’d run into him often, before this whole— thing— started. He was always quiet but sweet, would smile politely when you got in the elevator, maybe exchange niceties with you when you met in the lobby. He’d leave early and come home late, with the look of someone who hadn’t taken a breather all day, but it never appeared to have any effect on his temper.

That’s what’s throwing you off right now. How angry he seems to be.

After what feels like an eternity, he exhales, relaxes his hand.

“I guess you’re right,” he says, but his voice sounds too even now, like it’s forced. “I can’t force you to do anything. I just wish you’d consider that—” He cuts himself off the second his voice becomes strained again, looks away from you.

None of that is normal for him.

“Eun Hyuk,” you say, taking a step towards him. “Is there something wrong?”

He stares in your eyes for a second, and for that second, you think that maybe he’ll give you an honest answer.

“Everything is wrong,” he says in the end, and again, you know it’s nothing more than a half-truth. Then again, you can’t blame him for not telling you. “Can you even remember the last time thing went right for us?”

It’s not that he’s lying, it’s just that you know he’s not being genuine, and so you don’t bother continuing that line of discussion. It unnerves the other residents when you drop a conversation that is clearly going nowhere, makes them think you’re avoidant, but you think Eun Hyuk understands it. Close enough, anyway.

“You should still tell someone,” you tell him.

“I— What?”

“I get why you wouldn’t want to tell me,” you say with a shrug. “I still think you should tell your sister. Or Jae-Heon, I guess, if you’re more comfortable with that, but I get why it can’t be me.” You take a step towards him, put a hand on his shoulder. You do it slowly, as if you were trying not to spook a skittish cat. Eun Hyuk glances down at your hand, but makes no movement to get rid of it. “I’m here if you need me.”

He scoffs, looks away from you, pushes his glasses higher on his nose. But you don’t let go, and he doesn’t actually move away from you.

“I mean it,” you say softly. “If you want to talk, or if there’s any other way to help you. Just let me know.”

He closes his eyes. You wait for it to sink in, then take your hand off, hoping you haven’t pushed a boundary already. As you break contact with him, though, he grabs your wrist without warning, and pulls you into him. Your chest collides with him as he wraps both arms around and his chin comes rest on your shoulder.

You’re surprised by how strong his embrace is, how he clearly doesn’t want to let go.

“Eun Hyuk?” you squeak.

“Just— Just give me a second,” he says, voice so low you barely hear it. “Please. Just let me have that.”

You feel your heart almost breaking at the desperate plea. Slowly, you close your arms around him, start rubbing his back. You’re not sure what’s happening, not completely, but you know he’s warm against you, and you know you need that contact, too.

Seconds go by, until he takes a step back, clearing his throat. He refuses to meet your eyes, but you don’t miss that his cheekbones are dusted pink now.

“Sorry, I—” Then he lets out a long exhale, and appears to get himself back under control. “You offered.”

You’re not fooled in any way by that, but you still nod.

“And the offer still stands. If you need any help, you know where to find me.”

Another long exhale.

“You— Why— Why would you—”

“Because you need help,” you answer. “You’re the one who’s looking after everyone, and I want to make sure there’s someone looking after you, too.” Eun Yu does, sure, but Eun Yu’s a kid, and that’s a lot of responsibility to put on her shoulders.

“Thank you,” Eun Hyuk mumbles, still not looking at you. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Then he gives you a vague nod and leaves the hallway without once looking back.

Your eyes follow him, worried. You’re afraid he’s reaching his breaking point. This situation is revealing things about people, about yourself, too, even if you don’t like looking at it. Clearly, it’s changing you.

You can only hope that Eun Hyuk will withstand that change — and be by his side for as long as he needs you to.

hope you're enjoying this! tomorrow's entry will be for hyun-su ^-^ as always, reblogs and comments are strongly appreciated and keep me motivated and writing :)

more writing for sweet home

[grimalkinmessor]

The parallels between Tsubomi and Reigen drive me so fucking insane you have no idea like—that shit had to be at least SOMEWHAT intentional even if not in a specifically romantic way.

For one, Tsubomi and Reigen are two of the only few people that call Shigeo "Mob" consistently. (Yes Tome also calls him Mob eventually but she starts out calling him Kageyama-kun and likely picks up "Mob-kun" from Inukawa or Reigen later on). We don't know how Reigen started calling Shigeo "Mob", though we can assume that Tsubomi was likely part of the group of kids that originally misread Shigeo's name as Mobbu to begin with so she's less of a mystery on that front. Maybe Reigen saw it written on his backpack or his shirt tag and started calling him that too, or maybe Mob even just told him that that's what everyone else called him and was what he prefered to be called at the time. Either way, it's a little odd that Reigen's one of the only people who use that nickname when we don't really get a reason why beyond "it can also be read like this", especially since Reigen is a grown man with (presumably) full literacy of kanji and would know how to read it.

Then there's the other obvious parallel that's made in the show; how Tsubomi and Reigen treat Mob. How they see his powers. They're not special, they're just a part of him. Nothing to be scared of—even though they kind of,,,,are lmao. The fact that Tsubomi continues to sit in the park even though a literal hurricane is approaching because she thought Mob sounded upset on the phone happens at the same time Reigen goes sprinting full-tilt into said hurricane because Mob is in trouble always stands out to me. It's less obvious than Mob's own words: "She never treated me any differently because of my powers" "Master never treated me any differently..."—but it's still a pretty blatant parallel to me.

Not to mention that both Reigen and Tsubomi's personalities are actually very similar as well! They're both described as people that hide behind a mask, a facade, while still being brutally stubborn. If Tsubomi doesn't want to do something, she's not gonna do it. While Reigen is more laid back because he's used to getting his hands dirty for work (money), he's still very stubborn himself when he doesn't wanna do something. He'll find a way to wriggle out of it and talk circles around you if you let him. Dimple even says that Tsubomi is the type of person who can't be swayed by words or peer pressure. She and Reigen were actually, again, two of the only people brainwashed through airborne Vibes™ instead of through food like everyone else. The biggest difference between them on this is that while Reigen lies fairly blatantly, Tsubomi seems to only lie through omission. Tsubomi is more of an introvert too, compared to Reigen's extrovert (though you could argue that both of them are good with people, with the only difference being that Reigen enjoys being the center of attention while Tsubomi presumably does not).

Plus they're both pretty goofy too once you think about it lmao. They're both prideful and hate to be humiliated, but they also care a lot about their public image and how people perceive them. Every time the scene with Tsubomi and her friends outside cleaning up leaves comes up, her expressions and panic always remind me of Reigen. And then there's Mob, calm and unjudgemental, willing to help her with no questions asked. Mitigating her humiliation, just like he does for Reigen :)

Another thing that always strikes me is how Mezato says, "If you can accept her for who she really is..." followed by Reigen's echo during his confession: "This is who I really am". Mezato essentially tells Mob that Tsubomi isn't who she seems on the outside and that if he wants to be accepted by her, he needs to also be ready to accept her as well. Which, we don't get to see much of Tsubomi's life outside of Mob—wow just like Reigen—so we don't ever really know who she is beyond that outer mask, but we see her slowly opening up to Mob later, as a friend. But the fact that Reigen's own confession mirrors Mezato's words to Mob about him accepting Tsubomi always makes me vibrate in place a little like,,,Confession Arc my beloved 🙏

I don't know man, there's just so much there, it makes my head spin. I could go on and on about it but I better cut myself off because if I don't I'll start crawling on the walls going feral about it because what, what was the point of this if not to make it clear that the relationship between Mob and Reigen is supposed to parallel his relationship with Tsubomi like what do you MEAN—

[chronicdisasterwrites]

you touched my hair and i almost passed out

pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader

genre + warnings: - SUPER FLUFF !!! jealousy, pining, kissing, megumi being a fantastic lil' wingman, swearing, a lil s2 spoiler.

word count: 2,750

summary: PART 3 of the gojo series !!! satoru is flustered, reader is dense af, she touches his hair and he almost dies.

enjoy this mess lmfao

“You’re pathetic.”

“Excuse me?” 

Megumi looks uninterested and downright disappointed as he glares at his teacher. Whereas, Gojo Satoru looks bewildered as to what he might've done to make his student extra bitter today. He always finds a way to piss Megumi off; even sometimes just by breathing too loudly.

Megumi rolls his eyes and sighs as he goes back to reading his book. Satoru crosses his arms across his chest as he leans back on his chair and crosses his legs. He waits for Megumi to explain himself, only to be answered with pure silence and an overwhelming aura of pity. 

Satoru pouts and scoffs, “Seriously?”

Megumi simply takes a sip of his ginger tea as he looks at Satoru with his usual look of pure disdain. He clenches his jaw as he looks as if he's waiting for Satoru to figure it out already, but to everyone else around them, it simply looks like they’re in the middle of a serious staring competition. 

“Your pining. It's pathetic.”

Satoru’s jaw drops and he quickly closes it and leans forward, putting his arms on the table, and staring intently at Megumi through his sunglasses. Megumi is unfazed.

“I am not pining. I am simply observing.”

Megumi raises a single brow and looks back to where you were standing and conversing with some guy. You've been talking to him for quite a while now and Satoru has been hopelessly staring since you left the table you three were seated at. Megumi turns back to look at Satoru and scoffs, “Yeah. Sure you are.”

This time Satoru does nothing to hide his gaping jaw. He lets out a humorless laugh and slaps his hand on the table,

“No no seriously, I don't care if she talks with some guy. I mean, it's totally cool. Some random guy shows up outta nowhere and sweeps her off her feet whereas I have been here all this time giving her very obvious signs all of which she'll just blatantly ignore, so yeah yeah it's totally cool.” Satoru leans back and crosses his arms across his chest, all while his face is burning red and Megumi almost sees smoke come out of his ears. 

Megumi’s eyes are wide with concern. Mainly because people around them heard Satoru’s little monologue and are now muttering amongst themselves and some even snickering. Megumi could die from the embarrassment. He always knew his teacher and guardian had a very obvious thing for his other teacher and sort of guardian. You were pretty much always around since Megumi and Tsumiki started living with Satoru. Or more, near Satoru, because there’s no way anyone could make Megumi stay in the same apartment as Gojo Satoru. So he and Tsumiki stay in the apartment right next to Satoru’s. And according to Megumi, you were a saint for tolerating Satoru’s ridiculous antics for so long. But Megumi’s observant. He sees through people, and he could see very well how much you both liked each other. In fact, it was sort of endearing at first; watching the two of you do small things for each other, give each other fleeting glances and hidden smiles, ghosting touches on each other's skin. But now, it's just plain annoying. The unreleased tension is killing Megumi and the boy is only 13. He shouldn't even know what this tension is. That's how obvious you and Satoru were. And Megumi had had enough of this ridiculous pining.

Sighing, Megumi crosses his arms across his chest and furrows his brows, staring intently at his guardian, “Just be a grown-up and tell her.”

Satoru scoffs, “Tell her what? That I obviously don't like her? Sure thing.”

Slapping a palm on his face, Megumi wishes he could slap the immature adult sitting across from him instead. Before he lets his intrusive thoughts win, you walk over and place a bag on the table, right in front of Megumi and Satoru. They both look at you with quirked eyebrows and you smile, thinking how strange it is that they both look so similar.

“This is for you. Call it a ‘first day as a teacher’ gift,” You look at Satoru with that dazzling smile and Satoru feels his resolve dwindling. Curses, he thinks. He skeptically peeks into the bag and sees a black box wrapped with a ribbon. Looking back at you through his glasses, he raises a silvery brow, “Did your little friend give this to you?”

Your smile drops and morphs into a perplexed look,

“What, Haru? No- wha- I bought this for you.”

“Ah, so he has a name. Didn't ask but okay,” Satoru huffs and you see the muscle in his jaw twitch. You cross your arms and stare down at him with extremely confused eyes, “What’s your problem?”

Satoru sighs, places a couple of notes on the table as he stands, and takes the bag, “Nothing. Forget it.” He walks away, you presume to the car, without another word. You look at Megumi and see that he's already looking at you with expectant eyes. You shrug and point your thumb at the obviously pissed-off man, “What’s with him?”

Megumi stands, tight-lipped, “He’s being a child because he’s scared of his feelings.” 

You're absolutely bewildered now. Feelings? What feelings? What did I even do? Wait- Is he jealous? No way. 

You think Megumi can see into your mind as he raises his eyebrows and looks at you, hoping you'd crack the code. When you simply stare with a slack jaw he sighs, “Talk to him, please.”

He follows his guardian and you stand there wondering what the hell was going on. 

—-

Satoru enters his apartment with a heavy heart. It's ridiculous to act like this, he knows that. You don't deserve his attitude just because he is incapable of expressing himself like a normal human being. All these years, he's loved you. As a friend first, then at one point, it exceeded that, and now he can't imagine his life without you. It's suffocating and he just cannot bring himself to tell you. He wants to, but then his mind fills with thoughts that keep him up at night and rob him of the little sleep he tries to get. What if you freak out and refuse to even be friends anymore? What if you run away? What if you say you feel the same way and then you end up breaking up? I don't deserve you. You can have someone normal, with a normal life, and a normal past. What if I can't make you happy? What if someone targets you because of me? What if I can't protect you? What if I lose you? 

Satoru sighs as he removes his glasses and puts them on the empty dining table, in the empty room, in his empty apartment. He pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales. I should apologize, he thinks. He will, but first, he'll open the gift. He takes out the black box and takes off the ribbon, opening the lid. His eyes soften as he lifts the long, midnight-blue blindfold. He smiles to himself. You remembered. He remembers years ago he told you he would start wearing a blindfold since glasses stopped being effective enough for his Six Eyes. He remembers telling you the glasses were hurting the bridge of his nose so a blindfold would be the best option, but he was too picky and couldn't find the perfect blindfold for his “perfect” eyes. He couldn't believe you remembered, considering your reaction when he told you this minuscule information was a simple, “Okay, you do you.”

He takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling. I'll tell her. 

—-

“Hey, you busy?”

You jerk from the sudden voice as you turn around to see Gojo Satoru standing in your living room, uninvited. You breathe heavily as you relax your clenched hand that effectively ruined the report you were working on before getting so brazenly startled. 

“What the hell, Satoru?”

Satoru smiles sheepishly as he scratches the back of his head. He holds up the blindfold and says, “Thanks for this. I didn't think you'd remember.”

You sigh and turn back to continue working on your report, “Of course I remembered, Satoru.”

His heart is pounding and he can't remember ever feeling like this. He feels like a child with a crush and he doesn't know what to do. Just say it. For fuck’s sake, just say it. 

“Will you cut my hair?”

There's an uncomfortable silence filling the room and Satoru wants to teleport away and hope you'll forget this encounter. You slowly turn back to look at him with wide eyes. Satoru feels his face warm up. 

You blink, “You want me to cut your hair?”

Satoru gulps and decides to roll with it, “Yeah, I mean- my hair won't look nice with a blindfold the way it is. It'll just fall off. So I guess- y’know- gimme an undercut or something, maybe?” He looks everywhere but your eyes and continues fiddling with his hair. He's so adorable, you can't help but think.

You laugh and fully turn around on your chair to face him, “I can't believe you'll let me touch your precious hair.”

Finally looking at you, Satoru feels himself fall even more in love with you. Your effortless smile after the way he treated you earlier that day made him feel like absolute shit. But that smile; he'd die twice for that smile and then come back to life just to see it again. 

He smiles and shrugs, “Yeah. I trust you, so why not?” 

You grin and walk towards him. Bringing your hand up to assess his hair, you purse your lips, “Alright, I’ll cut your hair.”

—-

I can't do this. This is too much. She smells so good. Her hands are so soft. Fuck, this was a mistake. Killing Toji was easier than this shit.

Satoru was sweating and his brain was about to implode. You sat him down in your bathroom filled with everything you need to cut his hair perfectly. You were excited, as a child would be after getting an entire bar of chocolate for themselves or a cool pair of shoes. Little did you know, Satoru was freaking out. This wasn't even the closest he had been to you. He kissed you on the forehead, he had touched your chest. Albeit innocent, he knows that if he wasn't having a panic attack he would've short-circuited right then and there. And you didn't see him lean against the wall to control his breathing right as he turned the corner after kissing you on the forehead, after you almost died. He had been loving you for so long, that he wondered how dumb you could be sometimes despite being one of the smartest people he knows. But now, you're too close, your face inches from his as you check the length of his bangs. His eyes are locked on his clasped hands lying on his lap as you snip away. 

As you move behind him and turn on the trimmer, he finally releases the breath he had been holding. The cold steel of the trimmer touches his neck and shivers run up his entire body. You watch goosebumps form on his skin near his nape and ask, “You alright? Are my hands too cold?”

“No no, I'm good. Perfect, actually.” Satoru slaps himself mentally for being so painfully obvious. Then he remembers he was supposed to confess anyway. You mutter a small “okay” and get right back to working the trimmer on the underside of his hair. Taking the bottle, you spritz some water on his hair and comb through it with your little brush. Your hands run through his hair and Satoru feels he might just pass out. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath and tries to control his racing heart. The sound of the scissors cutting more of his silvery white hair brings his head down from the clouds. The soft touch of your fingers against his neck just sends his head into overdrive again. Your hands fluff his hair as you move in front of him again to check your work. You look into his eyes and Satoru can't help himself anymore. 

“I love you.”

The way your eyes widen and shoulders drop almost breaks Satoru’s delicate heart. You open your mouth but Satoru beats you to it. He stands up and starts rambling,

“You don't have to say anything. I just- I love you and I had to tell you, I just couldn't keep it in anymore. I understand if you don't feel the same and you don't have to, It's okay, just please don't freak out and stop being my friend or something.”

You keep staring at him and he thinks this is it. The end of it all. Almost a decade-long friendship; thrown down the drain. He says your name and looks at you with the softest eyes you've ever seen in your life.

“C’mon say something. Anything. “Get out”, “Shut up”, something, anyth-”

“I love you too.”

Satoru stands still, mid-sentence, gaping like a fish out of water, “Huh?”

You snort and cover your face with your hands, shoulders shaking with laughter, “I said, I love you too.”

Satoru exhales deeply and leans down to rest his hands on his knees. He looks up at you, still laughing, and asks, “Why on Earth are you laughing?”

You chortle and look at him with gleaming eyes and the brightest smile he thinks he's ever seen, “You just look so ridiculous.” 

Satoru looks at the mirror and mentally facepalms at his appearance. A giant plastic bag wrapped around his upper body and half-wet hair making him look like a wet rat. Yeah, he did look ridiculous. He shakes his head and laughs. Moving closer to you he slowly places his hand on your cheek. He looks at the fully healed scar and leans down to kiss it gently. Resting his forehead on yours, he breathes, “I love you.” He then leaves an even gentler kiss on the tip of your nose, “So, so much.”

He's gazing into your eyes and you're gazing into his, with the same look you've always given him, which makes him think out loud, “How long have you…?”

You sigh as you close your eyes and bring up your hand to touch his wrist near your face, feeling his pulse. You release a short laugh, “Long enough.”

Satoru smiles and brings his other hand to caress your other cheek, “Can I kiss you? Please?”

You smile and loop your arms around his neck, “Yes, please do.”

He leans down as you lean up and you can feel his smile against your lips. His large hands on your face, his lips against yours, his breath in your lungs, all you can think is Satoru, Satoru, Satoru. The kiss is slow, like you're both memorizing each other's taste. Like you're fully immersing yourselves in this experience as if it's the last time you'll ever be able to do this. You never thought you'd have this, but now you do. He loves you. Your hands stroke his undercut, feeling the freshly cut hair on your skin as your hand moves up to brush against the longer strands on top. 

His hands are holding onto your face as if he's afraid you'll slip away if he lets go for even a second. Then he feels you caress the back of his head and he lets one of his hands travel down to wrap itself around your waist. This is real, he thinks and he can't believe it. You love him. His lips move against yours in a perfect rhythm, as if you've been kissing each other for years. It's comfortable, safe, familiar.

Finally stopping, you both breathe heavily with the dopiest grins on your faces. Beaming, Satoru wraps his arms around your waist and hugs you, clutching your head to his chest. You let out a breath, getting lost in the rhythm of his heartbeat. The vibrations from his laughter cause you to look up at him with a questioning look on your face.

He shakes his head and brings a hand up to gently rest your head back on his chest. Perching his chin on top of your head, he strokes your hair.

“Megumi will have a field day when he hears about this.”

------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: okkkk finally the morons confess! also I added a guy called haru bc i love haruka from free! and i could, so yay.

taglist: @thepup356, @porridgesblog, @stray-npc, @daisy-the-quake, @reignsaway, @ainetx, @icarusignite, @mariapierce789

[nanawritesit]

Twice Headcanons: How They Act When They’re Jealous!

Nayeon:

on the outside, she’s completely calm. she gives off such calculated control, you’d never even know she was jealous

however on the inside, she’s having a complete downward spiral

her jealousy just validates the insecurities she already has; that she’s not pretty enough, not smart enough, not cool enough… not good enough for you.

she’ll start overanalyzing everything about her personality until she’s drowning in her own self criticism

all of this introspection makes her grow distant, which is your ONLY sign that something is wrong

the only thing that will snap her out of this is if you sit her down to her and explain in vivid detail how much you love everything about her, and how no one could ever replace her 💞

Jeongyeon:

scarily quiet

doesn’t like feeling threatened, so she gets insecure whenever someone seems to be making you happier than her

will start digging for dirt on whoever seems to be interested in you, doing a full background check

“hey Y/N, did you know they flunked out of college? no? oh, i just heard that through the grape vine.”

gives you a cold glare every time you mention their name

will protectively place a hand on your lower back the whole time you’re out with them

it’s not that she doesn’t trust you, it’s them she doesn’t trust.

if she gets pushed hard enough, she won’t hesitate to call them out on it in front of everyone

“why don’t you find your own girlfriend/boyfriend/ partner instead of chasing after mine? it’s honestly really pathetic.”

Momo:

the opposite of jeongyeon, she’s loud and fiery about her jealousy

not afraid to make a scene whatsoever

it’s kind of hot honestly

won’t hesitate to publicly humiliate someone for coming onto you

“Oh, you thought they were interested in you? That’s cute. Why would they want you when they already have me?”

would get violent if anyone put their hands on you

“get your filthy hands off of them before i break every bone in them.”

will kiss you in public if it makes people stop staring at you, and will smirk at them from across the room afterwards to rub it in their face that she’s the one who gets to kiss you

you would never even think of trying to make her jealous, she would be far too terrifying 😭

Sana:

her? jealous? no, never. jealousy is barbaric and petty, something totally beneath her!

at least… that’s what she tells you

if it’s just some average person, she wouldn’t care and just brush it off

but if it’s someone she perceives as more successful than her, she’ll start getting insecure

she doesn’t like competition, so if someone manages to shake her, she turns a little sour 😙

very passive aggressive

“why don’t you go hang out with them, since you two are so close?”

however, she’s adorable when she’s jealous, and has the cutest little pout… you can’t stop yourself from grabbing her face and kissing her, which 9 times out of 10 makes her feel better

Jihyo:

she doesn’t get jealous very often, she trusts you a lot and knows you wouldn’t run off with someone else just because they showed interest in you

she doesn’t see other people in your life as competition, she’s secure in the fact that she’s the one you chose as your partner

she would pretty much only get upset if she felt that you were blatantly disrespecting your relationship by shamelessly flirting with others

she doesn’t like to be controlling, but there are times when she’ll tell you not to associate with certain people anymore because of how they don’t honor your relationship. it’s not an ultimatum, more of a test to see how much you really care about her

but that’s only in the worst case scenario. most of the time she’s very open about her feelings. she’s not afraid to be vulnerable with you :)

Dahyun:

she doesn’t get jealous too often, but when she does, it can be intense

she doesn’t like coming off as insecure so she tends to keep it to herself

if it starts getting to her, she might start mirroring your actions

you start hanging out with your friends more than her? she can do that too. you have friends of your preferred romantic gender? she has some of those too

it will either go two ways: one, you’ll feel hurt and realize how you’ve been making her feel, and then the behavior will stop on both ends

or two, you’re perfectly fine with what she’s doing, and she realizes her jealousy was silly and lets it go

after this, she would FINALLY feel secure enough to have a talk with you about spending more time together 😑

Mina:

turns into a completely different person

she’s highly competitive, and will immediately double down and turn their little game into a death match

if you don’t seem interested in the other person, she’ll go to extreme lengths to secure your love by making extravagant public displays of affection

that person needs to know that she loves you more than they ever could

however, if you decided to play with her heart and act interested in this person? you’ll surely regret it

she has a ph.d in revenge, and will make you 10x more jealous than you made her 💋

she hates feeling replaced or forgotten, so if you start making her feel that way, she’ll immediately try and flip it back on you before it sinks in.

Chaeyoung: 

she’s highly possessive in her relationships. you belong to her, and she belongs to you. that’s the agreement you both made when you made things exclusive

and she’s not likely to stay with someone who doesn’t honor that commitment, so if you think she’ll tolerate you flirting around and playing the field, she won’t 😬

however if you’re not actively trying to make her jealous, she’s way more calm in how she handles things

she won’t lash out on you, but rather explain to you that it bothers her how this person looks at you/ talks to you. that way, if you continue to let it happen, she can’t say she didn’t set clear boundaries with you 😗

Tzuyu:

probably the least jealous member tbh

has a mindset of “if they want to, they will.”

i.e, if you want to cheat on her, you will. then she’ll leave you and move on with her life 💁🏼‍♀️

but obviously you don’t want to, because HELLO you’re dating chou tzuyu???

for real though, she’s super confident in herself, so she doesn’t get threatened easily

if you ever did manage to make her jealous, she’d probably just tell you straight out

and you’d apologize profusely because you’re WHIPPED for this woman as you should be

[chaifootsteps]

that post about triangulation gave me the chills

because that's what the show has become basically since s2 started. any time a third party is brought in to judge they always come down in Stolas' favor

Loona talks to Via in Seeing Stars? she should cut her dad some slack for a repeat pattern of behavior

Blitzo has a heart to heart with Fizz in Oops about how Stolas looks down on him? Fizz immediately takes up for Stolas and even pulls the total BS 'if you judge royalty you're as bad as them' liberal line of thinking on Striker

Blitzo reads Stolas for filth? he gets an invite to Verosika's party where she nonstop empathizes with him despite Stolas talking trash about her and everyone there behind her back

and the thing is ever single time it happens the deck is blatantly stacked so Stolas can come out looking better. it's either stuff being left out or everyone involved being OOC.

Loona has no reason to think anything of Stolas outside of 'man my adoptive father is forced to sleep with so we can pay rent', yet she gives Via this speech full of platitudes about why Stolas is trying is enough (and then doesn't cut Blitzo any slack, so it's not like she's saying this because she's learnt anything about her own relationship with her father - it's just here to benefit Stolas)

When talking to Fizz Blitzo rightly notes it's a fetish to Stolas - but the writers also make him bring up a bunch of phone calls that happened totally offscreen to make Stolas look better. there's plenty of things he could tell Fizz but he's never allowed to just so the writers can make him look cynical for doubting Stolas

Verosika is the straightest example of triangulation. she's biased against Blitzo to the point she'll believe when anyone says anything about him, but the writers never allow her to find out Stolas was never 'dating' Blitzo but coercing him into sex instead. her projecting all her baggage onto Stolas is barely even mentioned in the episode as being a problem when she inserts herself into the scenario - the viewers are supposed to side with her 'it starts with saying good for him' line despite how little sense that makes. it contradicts the episode's whole thesis that it's OK for her to be mad at Blitzo for awhile - but Blitzo can't be mad Stolas went and made out with someone else right in front of him the night after he told Blitzo he supposedly cared very deeply for him

that's why this isn't just garbage but infruriating. the whole universe is distorted to favor Stolas and everyone's characterization suffers as a result because they all have to take a bunch of stupid pills in every scenario instead of talking plainly about all the shit Stolas has pulled. Loona and Fizz especially should show some care for Blitzo over Stolas, but they don't. and Blitzo is never allowed to tell anyone else just how badly Stolas screwed him over so they can keep gaslighting him that he's the problem

it's probably also why more of the audience is turning on Stolas. most people can't relate to having a hitman called on them or any of the cartoonish things Stella does

but most people sure can relate to having had an argument with an ex partner or friend and feeling like they want to scream because said partner/friend manipulates everyone around them into taking their side or pressuring them to 'own up' and 'apologize', likely in just the same ways that Stolas does

what the show is putting Blitzo through is just dehumanizing and depressing. his feelings don't matter, how he's been treated doesn't matter. because we're just supposed to accept that he's dirt not worth scraping of Stolas' bird claws, whereas Stolas is pure and good and has only made transgressions so minor they don't even warrant mentioning. and the only way the show will treat him as worthy of anything is if he gives Stolas unconditional love while getting nothing in return

You know what? I have nothing to add to this. You took every last word right out of my mouth.

[ririsasy]

This man is so normal about Varadha (Deva and his possessive madness.)

Thinking about Deva's lines that's mostly "DON'T TOUCH VARADHA" how could anyone watch Salaar and think they are just friends when Deva showed this level of possessiveness. No straight man would this offended over another man getting touched by anyone ever.

(Please anyone even if you haven't seen this movie and see this gifset, do you think this is hetero lines? I need to know.)

He did warned Naarang like 4 times not to touch Varadha,

Which is in itself kinda an insane line to repeat that many times, with all kind of begging gesture. I mean he could have said other kind of variation like "don't hurt him," "don't kill him," "don't hit him," or just anything like the usual lines I often heard when someone pleading for the safety of others, but nope, Deva was clear with what he wanted, he didn't want anyone touching Varadha, not even a touch, more over to harm him.

When people didn't want to hear his kind request, what did he do? He lashed out, he became someone who was uncontrollable n only unreasonable rage left in his veins when prople crossed that simple condition, I mean just look at the way he just broke that chain and his eyes basically bulked out from anger like he could literally torch the entire court room just with the fury flame in his eyes.

What's interesting to me is the way Varadha also got the end of his anger about this (even though later he said sorry for lashing out toward Varadha) but almost like "Varadha, don't let anyone ever touch you" . The literal madness of possessive display, even Varadha himself, he forbid him from letting anyone to touch him.

It's crazy gosh the way he raised his voice that echoed to the entire prison even Bilal, rinda, and basically everyone else also could hear it, almost like it's also a warning to them "NO ONE SHOULD TOUCH Varadha di you hear me?!", everyone else should understand this line that Deva had drawn, Varadha is not to be touched by anyone else and they all should make sure of it if they didn't also want to get the taste of his wrath the way Naarang had suffered.

If I was Varadha, I would have shivered to my core lmao either you run so far away from this kind of man that hold a big sign of redflag possessiveness, but perhaps because Varadha is just like Deva, he, himself, is crazy, he perhaps even loves this part of Deva the most who is so obsessed with him and basked in this level of madness display gladly.

Even when Deva was just a little boy, that idea of no one should touch Varadha had gnawed it's way to his brain, he perhaps didn't know how it happened, but it's almost like part of him, the reason that he lives is to protect Varadha, even from himself.

So I counted it like a total of 11 times that Deva said don't touch Varadha lines

It's really too many right? I don't think even other heroes got to show their possessiveness this strong, this many times on screen, with this really undeniable lines to show how much you care about this person.

It feels like in The Princess Bride movie somehow when Deva says "No one should touch you" the way Westley said "As you wish" but unlike Buttercup, Varadha still doesn’t perhaps have a clear clue that it means "I love you" just the same, the fact that Deva keeps saying it over and over again like he was trying to get the message across, because often times the word love is too heavy on the tongue to say it blatantly, men really do try to find any other way to avoid saying love lol either through action or say it differently but they literally mean the same thing.

Sometime I wonder if Varadha ever try to let anyone other than Deva to touch him intimately but literally couldn't continue any further because Deva's possessiveness ringing in his ears like a warning "no one should touch you.", Varadha who subconsciously thinks that all of him belongs to Deva and he should have asked his permission first even if he wanted to let other people touch him, which Varadha himself knew that the answer is No, Deva is not going to allow it, so he stop and think of Deva and just want him to be near him and hold him and possessed him the way he wanted to, body and soul.

[suguru-getos]

“I have love and dreams too.”

It feels like finally, he was candid & vulnerable & like his real self to Yuji. He knew he was going to die there, and yet he just used this opportunity to show a little bit of the golden, selfless heart he carries. I really don’t understand how certain people in the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom view Satoru as selfish… it honestly irks & confuses me to bits. Anyway, that’s not the point here. The point is how absolutely shattered it made me. My heart literally sank at that line & the way he said that. He’s always the “annoying one”, the “Strongest” but only when needed.

It’s really something else when you finally come to the realization that the only person who treated Satoru like an actual human being is Geto Suguru. I’d like to think his students would take care of him, would remember him well… but I don’t see that happening. The ending of JJK has been nothing short of tragic to me. It’s how everyone relied on him & they were always a foot short on the gratitude. Even after his death he is being blamed for not killing Yuuji on time & letting this happen. Give him a fucking break.

I don’t understand the ending of this manga honestly, Gege has time & time again showed they are brilliant & then they do something like this. It’s blatantly obvious how much they hate Satoru though lol but then why use him to milk the manga sales until the last possible minute? :3 Sly and disgusting to me. I don’t want to say anything else despite I am absolutely PISSED with the ending because at the end of the day it’s their story. I will be balming my wounds writing fanfiction as usual. :3

A part within me was gut-wrenched when I saw the panel, those were the words of a man who knew his last moment… is here. Satoru, wherever you are, I’m sure you’d be happier. Maybe being united with Suguru is what suits you best in the world of JJK. :// Also, nothing’s changed? The ending isn’t Shonen-esque at all to me? Ugh whatever—

The summary of this in my head is — shit ending, fuck canon. He comes back & gets to live his hopes and dreams.

[zoe-oneesama]

Saw your post about Andre

What do u think about Zoe, then?

As a character, she's not bringing anything worth getting excited about. Personality wise, she's just Marinette-Pre-Origins: sweet and eager for friends, but ultimately letting her fear of Chloe rule her behavior until someone else reaches out, and now she suddenly has a spine. And I'm all for the idea of Marinette taking the lessons she learned in Origins about standing up for herself and not sitting by and letting injustices happen, and then turning around and inspiring someone else to do the same, so on paper, Marinette being that person for Zoe would be sweet and make sense. Except we have a full class of kids that she could've and should've already been that inspiration for, so this feel very Too Little Too Late.

And the few things they did to try and make Zoe unique didn't have enough thought or effort put into them so they fall flat.

So she got bullied out of her old school because she "was playing a part; being someone else" and when she dropped the act, "everyone turned against me". Um, yeah, if I found out my friend who'd I'd been confiding in and getting close to lied and faked their entire personality, I wouldn't want to be friends with them anymore either. I wouldn't go so far as to put cockroaches in their locker, but I can't blame Zoe's old "friends" for feeling betrayed.

(And let's be real, the writers definitely HAD to throw in the cockroaches thing so that Zoe actually had examples of being bullied instead of "no one wanted to be my friend anymore when they found out I was a totally different person")

So she's an actress, putting on different faces to please the people around her (clearly, she learned nothing from her previous experience - it's reasonable that people didn't like you because you lied, not because they didn't like who you really are). But then they didn't even keep up this 'acting' thing for more than one episode! Sure, she dusts it off in "Gabriel Agreste", but that entire aspect of Zoe's story is resolved as soon as it's introduced.

(Though it's obvious that the show is trying to convince you that her old friends DID turn on her JUST because they didn't like her as a goody-two shoes nice girl).

With Zoe putting on a fake persona, there could've been intrigue over the episode, or even the season, about who Zoe really is. Like, Marinette is SURE that Zoe is faking being like Chloe, but she has no way to know Zoe wasn't faking being nice to her when they first met. Why not show Zoe putting on different personas than just those two? Have Zoe interact with Juleka by being low energy and stand offish, then swapping to bubbly and energetic around Rose? Have Marinette be confused and that becomes part of the Mystery of Zoe?

And how about that contrivance, that Marinette met "nice" Zoe first and so is SOOOOO sure that Zoe is faking being "mean"? And because Marinette declares this To Be So, all of her friends just believe Marinette and are willing to give Zoe a chance. (despite not believing her about other things *cough* Lila *cough*) This is the same Marinette who's canonically declared her hatred of "liars" more than once, so even if Zoe is only "pretending" to be mean, why is Marinette giving her a pass? I'll tell you why - because we need to seamlessly integrate Zoe into the main friend group so we can speed run her taking over as the new Bee.

Because that's the main problem with Zoe - it's so blatantly obvious what the writers are trying to get out of her, because they don't even TRY to hide it. Don't get it twisted, I don't care that Zoe is brought in to replace Queen Bee, Queen Bee deserves to be replaced. I care how Zoe was brought in to replace Queen Bee. If the writers had taken enough time and care to ACTUALLY seamlessly integrate Zoe, instead of just shoving her in and bending the characters to accept her with no hesitation, then Zoe wouldn't come across as such a Mary Sue-Diet Marinette.

We already have a pretty full cast, so making the audience care about this new character that they've neither hinted at or bothered to build up to in Season 4 was already a big ask. Which is why I believe they should've stretched her "faking personas" story over several episodes. Have Marinette be as wary about Zoe as she was about Lila, esPECIALLY since she's Chloe's sister, but then have Zoe showcase her range of "personas" to throw Marinette off guard. Then you can have scenes of Zoe's mask slipping, like small acts of heroism where there's no time to think: pulling someone out of the way of an akuma attack, distracting the akuma if it gets too close to Ladybug, or even using her acting to help someone else get out of trouble despite Zoe getting nothing in return. Show the REAL Zoe through her actions DESPITE her acting, which then justifies Marinette being sure that "mean" Zoe isn't the real one.

Could've even had Chloe notice that Zoe's slipping and isn't acting very much "like a Bourgeois" and make it CHLOE who digs up that Zoe was bullied, make it CHLOE who airs out all the things that were done to Zoe. I mean, who better to call out a poser than Chloe? Especially since the rest of the class would more willing to take Zoe's side against Chloe (you would think) and it helps with the whole Zoe vs Chloe thing with the Bee Miraculous. Plus, having that information aired out when Zoe didn't want it to could've been a better reason to be akumatized than just "I'm giving in to playing the role I was already determined to play and putting my shoes in this hole with my dreams." Just saying.

But they didn't want to take the time. They didn't want to try. They didn't want to put in the effort to make Zoe someone to care about, both for the audience and for the characters. They shoved her in, gave her an exposition dump, and suddenly everyone was totally cool with her, No Questions Asked. In fairness, they didn't actually have Zoe be mean to anyone other than Marinette One Time in front of Chloe, so there wasn't much to overcome. But that's just another check in the "wow, you didn't even try" column.

I can't bring myself to care about Zoe because she's just a tool. She was brought in with the sole purpose of putting in nearly no effort to become friends with everyone and use the Bee Miraculous, as quickly as possible and as effortlessly as possible. Never mind that such a thing probably should have been earned. I just hate it when I can see the writer's intentions so blatantly.

But I get it, the Bee Miraculous is seriously OP and it'd be a shame not to use it just because Queen Bee was benched. Too bad Ladybug can't just merge Miraculouses and use it hersel- ohhhh, wait.

[tamelee]

Just a little rant about HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE NARUTO FANBOYS OH MY GAAWWWDDDD besides the obvious reasons (homophobia, misogyny, incels) they worship the shit outta the worse characters ever like Shikamaru and Itachi and Hinata. Like I just saw on the Naruto Reddit (my fault, I know, but I searched something up about Naruto and the first link discussing that was Reddit) and they all used that stupid dumbass filler where Shikamaru was asking his dad about Naruto and why everyone hates him and how he doesn't hate him (even tho in CANON he did 😤) and they all said not only is he a better friend to Naruto than Sasuke ever was but (here we go again) Sasuke's more of a brother 🙄 and they also said Sasuke treated Naruto like trash and was the worst friend 🤦🏻‍♀️ like it's so insane to me the dudebros lack of brain and reading comprehension. Like how do you as a grown ass man not know the difference between what's actually real and what's not about what you're watching? Or maybe it's that they just hate Sasuke so much and how much Naruto loves him and keeps talking about him and how he's his best friend in canon (he said it way too much for me to believe that even these ugly incels couldn't understand) that they'd rather give the credit to someone else that isn't a threat and doesn't make Naruto act borderline homosexual. Oh and they obviously ignore Shikamaru's blatant misogyny and still consider him the best thing ever because why would they care 🙄 anyway end rant, sorry. I just hate this fandom 😭 I stay on my side of things mostly (well, other than this one time. But when I do I just rant about it to someone and move on)

Ah yeah it’s frustrating isn’t it? 

I think it’s obvious if you’ve read the Manga. I wonder if they’ve only seen the Anime and just don’t bother checking what is canon first. So much is changed from Kishimoto’s original. (Has anyone seen that twt discussion on filler? I’d love to read your opinions on it.) 

I mean, Hinata’s supposed backstory with Naruto is just ridiculous, but I don’t understand why people think Naruto was friends with any of them? Even if it’s shown in filler that Naruto was around them or they asked their parents about Naruto... what makes fans say they were friends? 

Sasuke was the only one who acknowledged Naruto with a smile and they weren't even friends until much later.

Right before the exams, Shikamaru tells team 7 not to die. Not because he’s worried for them, but because he believes they’re not capable, largely because of his lack of faith in Naruto. While Naruto calls them idiots and insults both Shikamaru and Hinata as he introduces them to the reader. 

'A big mouth idiot' and a 'weirdo' (I believe he actually also called her creepy but I can't find the translation, but remember when Kushina told Naruto not to go for a weird girl? She used the same words xD) And then Shikamaru immediately wanted to target Naruto in the forest of death.

Had either of them at any point been friendly to Naruto or whatever, then we would’ve known here and Naruto wouldn’t have insulted them like he did (as is his right) because he craved a connection more than anything. It’s ridiculous how the Anime at times just blatantly ignores the lonely misery Naruto had to grow up in (ALONE) in favor of these other characters. As if sugarcoating that would make any of them look less bad. And don't get me started on Hinata during that written test because it's no wonder Naruto got so confused and didn't trust her "kindness".

Regardless, I think a lot of Naruto-fans who tend to glorify any of these friendships and extending it for what it is largely do so because they side with a narrative regarding the system and don't get why Sasuke (and others) challenged it in the first place. Brushing it off like it was some evil, selfish thing. I personally like Shikamaru's development and who he is as a character in the end because him showing change might've been very helpful in actually changing the system had they worked towards that. But you know... we'll never know.

[clydesavage-thefox147]

[Part 2 to Big Long Awaited Theories. This one is a bit..Roman slandering so be warned, be civil and hear me out here please, sorry if it's a bit jumbled heh] (Part 1 here)

Unpopular opinion/theory here but:

I think Roman sided against the callback because if he picked it, he would be supporting Janus who was seen as a villain at the time by everyone else, so he wanted to avoid any more affiliation. His need to be the hero and feed his broken ego was bigger than achieving a life-long dream.

Don't believe me? Then what does this line mean?

Furthering this belief, there's a notable pattern throughout season 2, particularly to start with Fitting in. When Roman was assigned the role of Slytherin in the group, he was rather taken back. He refused to believe it because he pushed the understanding that Slytherins were evil. This then followed with him saying "I'm not evil!" then Virgil(in a pretty Janus sounding tone) saying "Says who?". (Also coincidence how the snake affiliated house gets called evil here).

Then cut to the episode CLBG. I find it quite funny that Roman felt like Janus used him during this episode even though Roman himself was the one who stated FIRST that acting was like lying AND started the idea of disguising as Joan to help Thomas practice. Janus only nudged him to do it on a stage. Then later into the episode, Roman states about Janus "I hate this guy and his creepy snake face, however he is very kind". First off, making fun of Janus for his snake traits that he has little to no control over having. And two, blatantly admitting that he believed Janus' flattery. He left the window wide open for what happened later in SvS.

Speaking of, in SvS, it was clear that Roman wanted the callback desperately and so did Thomas. Roman is part of Thomas' personal dreams and goals. Janus knows this. Roman was willing to give Janus the benefit of the doubt and let him explain his side of the situation which Virgil obviously wasn't too happy with. Throughout the court case, Janus' flattery was his way of keeping Roman on his side, the best overall decision that was the callback while simultaneously pointing out the denials of all the other sides and Thomas. He eventually got so fed up of them beating around the bush that he made Thomas finally admit that he wanted to pick the callback instead. Like I said before, Janus knew this beforehand so he did low-key rigged the case in favor of the callback choice. This is a positive form of manipulation called a "Contrivance". Something meticulously planned piece by piece in favor of a desired outcome. Virgil I guess was right about it being rigged. But, when all was said and done and Janus was so close to winning the case, Roman pulled out last minute, making Janus reasonably angry. Roman stated "It is my sworn duty to help Thomas achieve his hopes and dreams, but Thomas wouldn't dream of attaining his hopes through deceitful means" following with Janus pleading that that wasn't true. But, Roman's line proves that he picked the wedding to avoid committing what was believed to be a selfish act. You can see how desperate Janus was for the others to see his perspective, even benching Logan in the process to have his lesson heard instead(then did it again in POF). Janus wanted the others to see that they were blowing this simple problem out of proportion but no one cared. He knew the answer was obvious but everyone refused to agree.

Then cut to DWIT, the following episode where Remus was debuted for the first time. Many believed that Remus was sent out, out of pettiness on Janus' part which could be possible. If Roman wanted to be a good person, Janus was going to show him(and Thomas) that it wasn't so easy. Remus made Roman realize and admit that he doesn't want to end up like him. Furthering why I think he made the decision he did.

Then cut to Healthy Distractions, where I find it funny is that here's Roman trying to avoid villainy...but commits petty theft and voter fraud. Roman literally said "I was gonna rig the vote anyway". So much for trying to avoid what he literally talked about an episode prior. Sure, he could've stolen the hat out of a joke but it still is petty(both be petty bitches).

Then..cut to POF: SvS Redux. This is where a lot of this come into play. One noticable thing is within the song. Not only was the line I previously stated there but the lines leading up to it paint a different picture.

Ro: "And no one wanted you to go more than the that slimy snake"

Th: "Who pushed to do the egocentric thing auditioning" (Ro: "Yep that's Deceit!")

Now, correct me if I'm wrong..but don't you have to audition before you get a callback? And isn't Roman the physical representation of Thomas' Ego? And didn't Janus point out Egoism in SvS? AND didn't Thomas called Roman " a bit of an egoist" in the 2017 behind the scene vid? Yes. All yes. So, this can only mean that Janus, in the few months that he and Roman were on decent terms with one another, must've influenced him to get Thomas to audition(or influence Thomas to get Roman involved) since Janus is a part of the 'selfish desires'. In this case, Janus is within his right to be mad at Roman. He spent time setting up the perfect end-goal for Thomas here as a show of good faith and intentions, but Roman shoved it aside because the other sides believed Janus' was still no good.

Then after the song, when Patton was struggling with his rhetoric of morality, some moments seemed to correspond with the court case. Two of these moments Roman himself brought up in conversation. Roman stated the view of how it shouldn't matter why the prince saved the kingdom as long as the citizens are safe(in this case the prince did it for a reward). However, Patton didn't like that conclusion, claiming that that doesn't make the prince a good person. Which then prompted Roman to respond with somber expression "Yeah probably not". Roman wants to avoid any villainous affiliations. But, he also wants the praise of being a hero for his own external validation which he's desperate for(no wonder Janus' flattery almost worked). His reward was that praise and he got that for a short time.

But, according to Patton, this is a selfish act. Roman has stated that he is "a proponent of following one's heart" It would make sense to appease the heart and morality to remain on his good side. However, Roman said shortly after "if it's not helping to fulfilling one's longing, then what is the point?" Patton wasn't fulfilling Thomas' goal of finally being a star. Roman didn't really like that. But, to avoid upsetting Patton, he followed along with him. Hell, Patton was the one who gave Thomas the inspiration to even start video creation. Another incentive for Roman to follow along with him. Double Hell, Roman initially didn't like Patton's idea of using puppets back in LNTAO but then immediately flipped script which Virgil pointed out. Patton definitely contributed to Roman's final decision on the wedding. Roman thought that he was the problem for making Thomas want a 'selfish desire' over friendship, even though this desire wasn't really a big issue at all(and he sent Thomas to wedding as punishment for wanting said desire). Which prompted Patton to beg for Roman to stay on his support team. No wonder when Patton started to view Janus in a different light, Roman got immediately defensive, trying to push that Janus was evil and he wasn't. He didn't want to feel like his decision was for nothing but it ultimately was. Janus states "it served no one" after giving Roman some credit for his sacrifice. But, if that sacrifice was for the praise and glory of the others for his heroism...that's just as selfish as going to the callback. No wonder Roman was upset when Patton thought it was bad. So, why is Roman mad at Janus when he should direct some of his anger at Patton for contributing to his final decision and the moral confusion. Is he afraid of hurting his feelings? Also tagging on, the same episode he said he followed the heart, Roman said that Patton should only stick to knowing the difference between right and wrong and leaving the rest to them...well, look where that took them. Lead Patton to guilt Roman into making him feel bad for pushing Thomas to be dishonest and dishonorable which just made him more confused.

The second thing being that Roman stated the Trolly Problem. The situation of deciding to save the larger group of people or the one person. Roman did this exact same thing the court room. He had to pick between siding with the others (the larger group) on the wedding..or side with the one person(Janus on the callback). He picked the former and let Janus get hit metaphorically.

It all collimated in the final scene between him and Janus. Janus being vulnerable with revealing his name as an attempt to gain trust..all to get laughed at and made fun of. Janus retaliated with the now infamous line "Thank God you don't have a moustache, otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn't know who the evil twin is". Roman couldn't take it. He can dish out all these insults but the second it's him who's insulted he shuts down or gets pissy right back. However, maybe Janus was right with his statement. I mean, there's been only two confirmed times Roman was ever influenced by Remus. One was the "Naked Aunt Patty" line from the 12 Days of Christmas vid and the bubbagump shrimp line in the carol itself. But, there's been moments where it seems that Roman had no influence from him and it was all his wording. Like how he responded to Janus' pinata metaphor with "I believe he's saying that you beat someone up and rob their unconscious body". Or how in one scene in CLBG, as Joan, he stated "-like your weird habit of gluing your butt cheeks together". Or how in Moving On pt 2, he was all about that butt dial lie and wouldn't stop. And finally, remembering way back to the QnA, when they were asked if they all had YouTube channels, Roman said quote "Epic fail compilations of all the horrible deaths my enemies incur after I impale them". Roman...wanted to film himself..killing people..to post on YouTube. For what? To laugh? To gloat? Does this not sound creepy to any of you? And just adding his petty theft and vote rigging and all his bullying insults up to now...yeah Janus' retort holds a lot of weight.

Another note is that Roman has been getting pretty close with Virgil lately. What's noticable here is that Roman's might be playing favorites. Notice how when both Virgil and Janus revealed their names, they were both equally vulnerable. Virgil revealed his name because he had already gained trust with the others but Janus did it to gain trust with them. Roman gave Virgil congrats for his admittance and bravery and only laughed at the Virgin joke Patton said. But, Roman laughed and insulted Janus? Even though both Janus and Virgil are of dark side origin? What makes Virgil more special? Especially when Roman hated Virgil to begin with and now they're best buddies...then he supported Janus at first and now flat out hates him. He pulled an Ono reverse card on them. Roman mainly chilling with Virgil now because they both hate Janus is definitely 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'. Hell, in FWSA, Roman and Virgil were calling Thomas a liar constantly after he accepted Janus. Meanwhile if Roman continued to do so, he would be in the same boat. Mind you, only Patton has accepted Janus completely. Thomas and Logan are 50/50, and Roman and Virgil are against it entirely.

Janus is aware of the others' denials, lies and desires. He's aware that Roman is in denial. Roman wants to believe he made the right decision but he knows he didn't. He keeps moping and whining over how he wants to be happy and achieve his dreams but he lost that opportunity because he made a stupid sacrifice. If he was confident in his choice, he wouldn't be acting this way. Janus knew Roman would be hurt if they missed the callback. And him behaving this way long after just proves it. Janus said right to his face in the court room "You want that callback so back and it will CRUSH you if we miss it". This was true. And if Roman were to say that he did make a good decision he'd basically be lying and stooping to Janus' level. So both ways he's screwed and played. Roman is also very fraudulent when it comes to his facade. He likes to act like he's this brave prince who isn't insecure and can handle his problems alone when that is clearly a lie. Janus wants Roman to be honest with both himself and the others, the others know by now that Roman is very insecure so what else is there left to hide? Janus would know about facades..and he sees right through Roman's and so does everyone else. Tagging in here, Janus' 'wroammin' spelling meant 'remorse' signifying that Roman was giving Janus sympathy while also showing Roman's imposter syndrome(alongside other times he corrected people on his name). This wasn't Janus insulting his name first, this was him proving a point.

To add on, Roman turned to Janus after he said "I thought I was your hero" and Thomas replying "You are". Roman trusted Janus' confirmation. Janus' nod was confirming that Thomas is telling the truth but Roman only believing Janus was lying, he took it as Janus confirming Thomas was lying. Or, Janus was sadly confirming that Thomas was in fact lying. But I think the former is most likely. Roman now believes he lost his "hero" title..which honestly might be a good thing, maybe he'll try to earn it back in a very honorable way without letting the power go to his head. His bullying and grandiose behavior was his way of making himself feel important when he deeply felt like he wasn't good enough. Roman is so desperate for external validation because he can't love himself without it and Janus is trying to tell him that. Quit acting like you love yourself and actually..do so.

In conclusion, I believe Janus was more in the right here but if we must compromise, they both must reach an understanding and an apology. My theory stands that Roman sided against Janus to avoid any further association for the reward of heroic praise.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Feel free to correct me or change my mind if you so please but remain civil.

Part 3 soon.. maybe.

[keyslox]

have you ever noticed how part of c!jack’s character is he is obscure and nobody really knows him and how in the fandom he is also obscure and nobody really knows him

Jack Manifold was never really given the time of day. Sure, he had a small part in the server (ultimately the one who ended the whole thing), but his presence was not respected all that much. Placed into the lowest rank of L’Manberg’s cabinet, killed by Wilbur Soot for ‘not being seen’. He never got a REAL apology for that, by the way. I will stand by the fact that Wilbit’s apology to Jack was manipulative, half-assed, and more for himself than Jack’s wellbeing. It was well before the ‘Apology arc’ and THAT IN OF ITSELF shows just how little it actually meant to Wilbur. He was just doing it to make himself feel better and didn’t actually have Jack’s feelings in mind.

The biggest thing I see going around is Tommy being excused for what he did to Jack. Killing him when Jack went to visit him in the Nether during his Exile. Tommy has trauma. We all know that. He was a victim to extreme manipulation and abuse and a slew of other things. Yet he blatantly ignores every attempt, denies and/or doesn’t fully grasp that he did what he did. Which I can understand because the dude went through severe trauma, but that’s not an excuse. He still needs to take the accountability for his actions.

Jack deserves so much more than he’s ever gotten and it SHOWS. He literally wants friends. That’s it. He wants friend and companionship and he wants what he THOUGHT he had. Because he never actually had it. If he had it Wilbur wouldn’t have killed him, Tommy would actually listen, and he would be shown an ounce of respect for his own traumas and hardships when he tries to talk about it all. All everyone does is dismiss, downplay, and invalidate c!Jack’s pain. That’s a big reason why he’s the way he is! Every other attempt to let himself express his issues ends in him feeling worse about himself.

And we’ve seen time and time again that everyone else Jack tries to talk to and vent to takes Tommy’s side! (Ex: Puffy) There’s bias that Tommy can do no wrong and is the ‘savior’ of the smp. But even if he’s the ‘main protagonist’ doesn’t diminish he causes pain.

They give the excuse that Tommy was a child, that children should be protected and yada yada. Jack was more-or-less a child when he first joined, too! He should have the same excuses, the same treatment as all the other kids on the smp but he doesn’t because he was left alone and had to grow up faster.

He didn’t have anyone to lean against, so he just never let himself fall. And when he inevitably did no one cared or batted an eye because no one was there. He died 3 times and no one batted an eye.

The fandom is so bias sometimes. I’m not huge on DAMP fanfics that involve Jack because they mischaracterize him so much. Put him as a bully in School AUs, make him mean and rude for no reason. The reason in canon is because no one gave a single fuck about him. (not including Niki) Jack had a reason for being ‘cruel’, no one else did. It comes with the fact that Jack’s POV just isn’t as watched, so people don’t know his side of things. But what bothers me is that it feels like fans don’t even try to see stuff from his point of view. He was abused, manipulated, killed, and used in his own right. If everyone else gets excuses for the shit they did, he deserves it too.

Below is how I interpreted Jack’s ending, and how, despite everything he’s gone through, his character gets some sort of ending that isn’t completely angsty. I acknowledge that Jack isn’t the morally-perfect character, that he was fueled by anger and rage. He had a slight victim complex. But from a more basic pov, and for the fans who don’t really understand his character, I think he was redemptive. In his own right.

REDEMPTION:

From its literal definition Redemption is “An act of redeeming or atoning for a fault or mistake, or the state of being redeemed. deliverance; rescue.” The state of being redeemed comes in many shapes and sizes. Actions and words big and small. For some it may take great showings of purpose and selflessness. For others it can be as simple as “I’m sorry.”

Someone can go their whole entire lives fighting with something they ultimately in the end agree with. A lot of it is a matter of perspective. Jack only had one perspective.

Jack was alone for most of his life on the dsmp. Yes he had friends in the beginning but wars and betrayal had him distancing himself and trying to find ways to fix it. None ever worked. Because he was alone. When you only work with one perspective you don’t understand the other side, and how it might actually clear things up and switch your own views.

It only took Jack a matter of minutes after arguing with Tubbo for him to realize he didn’t have the whole picture. Someone so close to Tommy, someone who WAS there to see the other side of things. Someone Jack trusts and respects, who’d he call a friend, to listen and then fight him on his thoughts even if it was in the form of an argument. Though he fucked up and killed everyone, I think his actions of still attempting to save Tommy with Tubbo have given him a bit of redemption. Not all, everyone has faults. But he was on the path to healing when he died. If only for a few minutes.

Jack died by his own hands trying to right his wrong. If that’s not a symbolic Jack ending I don’t really know what is.

[goodolddumbbanana]

BE A MIRROR [3]

An Au when Sun is dead (by Nexus), Dark Sun pretends to be Sun while trying to find some way to revive him in secret. Nexus is having a mental breakdown, maybe get some redemption later. Everyone is not having a good time except Sun, that poor boy only when he is dead (temporarily) can get some rest.

Summary: In this AU, This is the time when Sun and Dark Sun start gradually becoming quite closer. They were still very wary of each other, but more or less, it was less tense than before.

What is the value of a life? If a human life is priceless, then how much pain and suffering does Sun have to pay for his sins so he can wash all the blood off his hands?

Technically, he has never killed anyone. It's always Moon, or Eclipse, or Bloodmoon or someone else. Sun was always the 'innocent' one in everything.

And isn't it ironic that Sun, after everything, is still at the center of all the destruction, like a curse that brings death?

The reason why he used so much detergent to clean himself and everything in daycare. Or how sometimes Sun would see a red color at the edges of his eyes that wasn't there, or feel a sickly dirt like mud stuck to his metal shell.

It feels like a sign that his subconscious is trying to say something is wrong that Sun actively ignores.

"Are you always this dazed when playing games or do I myself always have a special honor to experience it?"

An annoying voice rang in Sun's ear, something Sun had been trying to ignore for the past 15 minutes or so but failing miserably.

Sun never thought hearing his own voice could be so unpleasant. He always felt a little bit self conscious about his voice because his voice was quite high, but being the one to hear it directly, made him feel sorry for his listeners because he used to speak very loudly in the past.

A face identical to his, with a bland smile that never reached the bottom of their eyes and empty red eyes that seemed to have given up on the world, this annoying visitor often appeared at random times and only left when they wanted.

"Why did you keep breaking into my house here? Do you have anything to do? Moon is busy in his lab, just go and put your cryptid show on him." Sun asked weakly. He didn't really expect an answer, knowing that it would only lead to a metaphorical can of worms that he never wanted to open.

After the appearance of M–Nexus… Dark Sun became Moon's lower threat enemy. The priority one is Nexus. His brother was busy in the lab with Ruin and Puppet, tracking Nexus's whereabouts. 

Moon invited him to go, but honestly, he couldn't help, with all the complicated AI and quantum physics theories that both Ruin and Moon knew so well… It would be better for Sun if he just stayed home. And practice magic.

It is really weird that both Moon and Puppet's machines can rarely see the Dark Sun. He is like a ghost in the eyes of the “All-Seeing One” and these geniuses. And everytime, Dark Sun shows up, there is something troubling, again.

"Can't I come see what I'm doing?" Dark Sun hummed, he looked at Sun and up at the television screen playing "Cult of the Lamb" in what, if Sun didn't know better, he would have considered a look of disgust but nostalgia.

"Don't make me laugh, you always want something, mister 'I don't care about anything unless it benefits me somehow'.”

Sun focused on the final boss, his hoarse voice box echoing a dull rhythm. There was no response, just a slight movement that shook the soft sofa he was sitting on. A bright yellow body chose a comfortable position right in the center of the chair, blatantly, something Sun himself would never be comfortable enough to do so. Too much open space, too few grip points. There is a feeling of being exposed and naked shaking Sun’s inexistent skin, causing Sun's system to always flash an unpleasant red warning.

Why even though the Creator hates them so much, he's still so invested in a delicate area like emotions?

What does a robot need emotions for?

Just to feel dead in the feet and hope tomorrow will not be worse than today?

There was a brief moment of depression as he thought about his hated father, before hearing a solid sound with a slight accent, almost like that British Ruin loved to show off himself with.

Is it self-awareness because Dark Sun feels like he shouldn't be too similar to Sun so he behaves more like Ruin?

Sun's AI brain weaves its way through logical thoughts, morphing and dancing in the form of 1s and 0s.

The bright light on the screen was almost a hypnotic drug, making Sun reduce the stress he felt that had been present since Dark Sun arrived.

“I've played this game before too… Too much management and responsibility, not really my taste.”

Sun suppressed his bites. 'If that's the case, why don't you just leave me alone?', but he was too tired, he no longer had the strength to care or even respond.

The space sank into silence again, with bustling electronic noise, almost like white noise, lulling Sun into a feeling of sleepiness.

“Orange juice?”

"Right?" Sun nodded confusedly. On the table top of them are just a glass of orange juice, and it's always been orange juice for the past few weeks, nothing has changed. Why does Dark Sun act like it's odd?

“Hmm.” Dark Sun hummed. “No more wine?”

"I do not drink alcohol anymore." Sun replied defensively, feeling as if he was ruffling feathers. He was so tired of these jokes from Monty and Puppet or those concerns from Earth that he is drinking too much or he is an alcoholic, he didn't need any more words from that guy.

“The other day it seemed like it was a lie.”

Things start to become awkward.

No one said anything next, neither Sun nor Dark Sun wanted to rekindle the event that caused the annual stormy evenings where Dark Sun appeared unusually with lies like this, just to hang out with Sun.

Something about Dark Sun always comes on cloudy days.

It wasn't exactly raining, as it seemed stormy and the water here almost never reached the island.

No, it was the kind of weather where the stifling oppressive heat of the sun turned everything gray, of the wind being quiet and the sunset melting on the edge of sand crumbs torn apart by the tide.

Perhaps it was dramatic, as the nature of every Sun and Moon had always been inherited from their 'dear father' in every line of code. To choose to always appear in those moments when gray shards as smooth as egg whites are whipped to the edge of the sky, like a novice chef's masterpiece blend with a child trying to beat the paper with paint. Sun just hides it better than Moon, and at the same time he has too much anxiety and lacks energy to be able to continue that ‘dramatic role’ for long.

Dark Sun appears, it's almost like looking into a distorted mirror, that never allows you to see your true self form but always in some deformed variation.

Sun's stupid thought was that Dark Sun always appeared at this time because he wanted to match the name they gave him.

“I don't really care if you drink or not.” Dark Sun hummed, stood up and casually walked into the kitchen as if he owned the place, taking out two shiny bottles of wine. Dark Sun's rays of light twisted and moved with each step of Dark Sun like the way a cat wags its tail when something stimulates its curiosity.

“Isn't it tiring trying to please everyone?”

The reddish brown color ripples in the glass bottle, like the enticement of the snake in the Garden of Eden. Annoyed at the way he was being read so clearly, Sun grabbed the bottle from Dark Sun's hand and gulped it down.

Then one sip.

One more sip.

Another sip…

One more… and one more…

The smell of alcohol spread in the air and rippled in Sun's hands. The bell clanged against the side of the jar, perhaps a few drops of wine got on the red cloth wrapped around Sun's wrist.

“Hmm… How long has it been since you drank? And I'm not talking about 'last time'.” Dark Sun took a sip.

The person in front of him was indifferent, calmly took the controller in Sun's hand and chose to sacrifice instead of killing the boss like Sun was trying to do. That fucker even killed Sun's first apostle without hesitation.

“Weeks… Months? Before that Moo–n… Nexus… They, Earth didn't like me doing this very much. So I switched to soda.”

“But soda is horrible.”

“Yeah… It tastes really bad.” The alcohol made Sun chuckles.

“I don't understand why they are so worried. Aren't we all robots?”

“That's exactly what I said, and the bottle, it's just this small…”

“It's not enough to make me dizzy…”

Sun's voice sounded like he was shouting, he leaned back in his chair, wondering why everything seemed so normal.

Why did he let Dark Sun in, why did he only warn Moon about Dark Sun's appearance, but never about the moments when they sat down to play games and drink together.

A song and dance Sun and Dark Sun, forcefully have played with each other so damn countless times, with Dark Sun’s words always lurking menace behind them, and his clichés about tentative plans for an uncertain future, entangled in the webs of lies like the strings of a puppeteer, that Sun cannot understand and does not want to understand.

As always, Dark Sun will appear suddenly when Sun is alone, asking random questions about someone who is not there as if hoping that Sun has the answer before they both sit down and play games or just drink together.

How did their relationship become like this? Sun really didn't know.

About how it started or why it continued, even though he knew Dark Sun had a hidden agenda and was only taking advantage of him, even though both of them know they can never be friends, when Dark Sun is still actively a threat to Sun's family.

Perhaps it was the feeling of being understood without being wanted that drew them together. Both are like two sides of the same coin, over time they have been destroyed in different ways that cannot be repaired or came back.

Like trying to pour water into a broken vase, a meaningless action that only crazy people and idiots would continue to do.

If Sun fills that void in his chest with family, with cleaning, with giving himself a purpose to live for. Then Dark Sun just tries to destroy everything by himself to escape from reality. He surrounds himself with a layer of armor full of spikes, blocking anyone who wants to enter, numbing all his feelings until the days they become too hard to crack.

It was a strange thing that Sun wanted to say he understood that feeling, and sometimes, sometimes, he longed for it.

Not like M-New Old Moon, Nexus tearing down and throwing away everything, heading down a path of destruction without even caring how much it affects everyone. A liar, a liar, a liar. Words mumbling in Sun’s head like there is still someone in there. A bitter and sick to his stomach whenever Sun thinks about this... brother.

No, what Sun wants to talk about here is about just being alone and normal, where you just live and don’t have to care or need to care about anyone.

Why did Sun say that? Such ungrateful things about his family, who care deeply about him?

Maybe because that love and care that his family gave Sun sometimes felt like a burning fire, that made him burn when he touched.

Maybe because he just wants to look and care from afar, but doesn't want to touch or be close to them?

Sun loved Earth, she was the best sister he could ask for.

Sun also cherishes Lunar, his mischievous, sometimes crazy younger brother, who acts innocent and childish but actually a stone cold brat from the inside due to the trauma and manipulation that Eclipse caused, sometimes make Sun feels like looking at a twisted combination of him and Moon with sharp words and intelligence hidden in Lunar’s starry eyes.

Despite all the miserable things his brothers put him through and even now, despite the smoldering bitterness still gnawing at his heart, Sun also loves Moon with all his heart, both old and new.

But sometimes, Sun just wants to stay away. It's confusing to say, but Sun is fine with the occasional game together and these terrible jokes, but when stepping into the boundary of care and love, Sun just wants to stay away or cower like a maggot.

It is not worth it.

Sun is not worth it.

Sun doesn't deserve that love and attention.

Why are people always so close, so demanding, so caring to him?

Why does the way Moon tries to make amends, or Earth visits him more and more often, or Lunar gives him a touch or a knowing look, make him sicker than this evil version of himself sitting here? .

Dark Sun doesn't care. Dark Sun never cared. He was just using Sun as a distraction. Or a backup of a backup of a backup of some… he doesn't know, maybe some of his evil plans.

But strangely, Sun feels so comfortable. It's like breathing fresh air. A collar that has been taken out, making Sun easy to breathe. They are not even the same, with totally completely different personalities and intelligence. Heck, even Dark Sun doesn't like “Cult of the Lamb” or he is being too manipulative and indifferent to Sun's liking.

But their essence was still Sun, and even though Sun was stupid, he could still see the core features still there, behind the worn and distorted exterior of a person named Dark Sun. And isn't it disgusting, to feel more comfortable with a version so different and so similar to yourself than with your loved one?

Self-destruction is a curse. A realization lit up in Sun's head, realizing how in the way Eclipses all hated Moon but still wanted his approval, how Solar was scared of Moon but still supported him like a workaholic, how Ruin hated Moon’s guts so much but he still appreciated Moon’s intelligence.

Something about them all have things in common. They all hate, if not hate, then blatantly looking down at Sun, or consider Sun to be too dumb to consist as a threat.

Once may be a coincidence, but two or three people agree on the same opinion, then it’s not their fault, but him. Perhaps, it's just the truth that Sun hates himself so much that his code is passed on to others that are embedded in their subconscious hatred for Sun.

That's the hard truth. Sun just despises himself.

And Dark Sun even hated Sun, and his hatred and critics caused Sun more discomfort than others.

But surprisingly, it's also more comfortable…

Maybe it's because Dark Sun hates him, not because he's stupid or helpless.

Dark Sun hates him because he was once Sun, because he knows Sun can do better...

And because this hate is as familiar as an old blanket. A phantom pain, like the way his body twitched slightly and his fan ran a little too fast when he was in a closed space or he saw something red in the corner of Sun’s eyes.

Though, this hatred goes both in the same places.

Sun hates how Dark Sun can look straight in Sun’s soul to determine how much he is worth. He also hates how Dark Sun shows how bad Sun can become.

He also hated Dark Sun because actually he was just Sun, it was just circumstances that made that person change, that makes Dark Sun different. 

This is sick, disgusting even..

There must be something wrong that happened with Sun, which could cause Sun to have thoughts of sympathizing with this person's actions and thoughts, like Dark Sun deserves sympathy.

Their hate draws each other closer like a fragile chain, an unhealthy relationship, a deceitful friendship of one side covering their eyes and the other covering their ears.

“I wish if you hated me so much, you could just kill me instead of approaching me like this.”

It was dark outside. With only the buzzing sound of the game console and his cats in the basement.

“You… You guys… are all the same… Why can't I have a normal day…”

Sun didn't know if it was him talking or the bottle of wine talking. That's strange... Sun shouldn't be drunk, the bottle is really too small.

“Maybe if I close my eyes and then open them again, all this… crazy stuff will go away… I'll just be me, a regular Sun…”

“And you would accept that? Instead of taking charge of your own destiny, you just want to lie there like a snail waiting to die, right?”

A silence responded. Sun raised his eyes... Red electronic light flashed behind the milky white shell seemingly annoyed.

“Just keep chewing like that day after day. Crying and moaning like that, Sun, do you think it would solve anything?"

“I just don't know what to do…” Sun mumbled, his hand wrapped tightly around the bottle of wine, hugging it to his chest as if he wanted it to protect him.

“You will die soon in the future if you stay like this.”

The words were indifferent and cold, as if reflecting a truth, a truth that Sun had witnessed many times in different dimensions, and in the dimensions that Dark Sun showed Sun.

“ Like I don't know. ” Sun's shadow shines in front of the piece of glass, revealing a sad and exhausted face. The eyes, once bright blue, had turned white since the day Sun used magic to expel Eclipse from Sun's head.

A silence, nearly peaceful silence, between their two, like hands in hand in the drawing sea.

“Oh… Hmm… By the way, I accidentally killed Narinder.”

There was silence. And then the scream that followed almost alarmed the other side of the island.

“YOU SON OF B%TCH!!! WHY DID YOU KILL MY WIFE!!!”

[oldsargasso]

pit babe movie stream of consciousness

staying up very very late to watch a movie recut of a show I've already seen several times…what a time to be alive.

Dean cleaning the helmet for sooo long kills me every time

forgot Babe blatantly hitting on Charlie immediarely like okay buddy. the first thing I notice about a stalker is how hot they are as well.

anybody else incredibly distracted by babe's tits in that tight white shirt

what DO they call you babe btw

my soul would genuinely leave my body trying to watch this in a cinema full of other people. I'm here clutching my chest and making squeaky noises how do people watch things normally

I'm genuinely insane over this like!!! the way charlie is kissing him the way babe is touching charlie's face. they were gone IMMEDIATELY. worth the price of admission for this extended scene tbh

forgot how insanely delightful everyone's faces are in the bar scene where Babe brings Charlie along for the first time

I love winner so muchhhhhh

the car winner uses for the drag racing is hot tbh the tyres??

the EYE CONTACT the SONG they are IN LOVE five minutes after meeting each other it's honestly wild

god this scene with the rosy dawn light coming in I CAN.NOT. it's so gorgeous. GIVE US THE LONGER SCENE YOU WOACRDS (<- not fixing this typo I love it)

dean's in his crime hoodie

I never noticed jeff's litle smile in thisd scene before! he knows he can do it!!

insaaaane watching this scene knowing charlie already knows all of it.

the little "well, I also want something from you" exchange is sooooo.

it doesn't have quite the same emotional weight coming so soon but goddd their first kiss still has me clutching at my heart. SO SOFT AND ALSO TENDER!!!!

babe's delicate soft curtains are p[erfect

tony's bonsai time is so deserving of being included regardless of plot-relevance of the conversation happenning

the fact that in this cut we see Kenta first in babe's flashback holding him to get hurt and then now as Tony's proper assistant sure is something

Alan the strongest man alive I would give Dean everything he wanted the moment he asked nicely HE DESERVES IT

"you're a promising young racer" so he HAS been racing already just not anything major

everyone's squeaky shoes on the garage floor is killing meeeee I've never noticed that before

PETE!!! is his suit not fitted correctly

bitchy way my beloved. the peanut gallery just like :D the whole time lmao

godddd the fact that charlie is the only one jeff lets close for so long 😭😭😭

"meditate" is that what the kids call it these days

I never noticed dean all in black for this race

I adore how the only time Kim looks pleased is right before they finish and he knows he beat babe for real

Winner is soooo delightful how can anyone hate him. so pathetic. so terrible.

babe being so overcome by charlie's steady belief in him���if anyoen needs me I'll be on the floor.

tony's pinstripe suit IMPECCABLE

charlie must be the fastest runner around

oh thank god they left the kim confronting winner scene in IT'S PERFECT (second only to the cigarette scene but alas)

jeff, way and dean all in x hunter gear during this scene when they're all on different sides itches my brain like crazy

charlie walking in and blocking dean out….chef's kiss

the way Way is trying to be like "wow Charlie's LYING to you" and babe's just like "they're brothers yay"

they left in the sponge bath scene kill me babe's little smile DEATH

just realised what's missing where's l;actasoy

"I don't care" he said, caring deeply

babe gives up soooo easy truly the babygirl of all time

honestly understandable from dean in the long run I too would try and murder someone who waltzed in and took the job I was gunning for just because they were sleeping with someone. and then babe's just like "sorry dean you're just not good enough" like! murder. acceptable tbh.

they need to put little nametags hovering over the cars in this scene for idiots like me who can't understand anything because all cars look the same

way in his sunnies god he's SOOOO pretty and soooo unimpressed by everything that is happening in front of him

the subtitle's translating phi as brother like. hm.

this scene under the stars is the prettiest scene ever. the headlights, the fog… gorgeous. THEY ARE IN LOVE BTW

COWARDS GIVE US THE MAMA/PAPA ROLEPLAY BEGINNINGS

way hates everything so much I love it

honestly insane of babe to light his cigarette off way's like NO WONDER way's in love with him

god this scene is exruciating. babe knowing and ignoring so they can stay best friends. way just hoping the whole time.

way's breakdown in the car deservedly included SO PRETTY

honestly wild that kim and babe are like half a room away and tony and co don't notice. there's a SHEER CURTAIN in between and then babe yells at charlie lmao

charlie giving babe the glass of water is such a great note in this scene

the fact that this is the first time they're mentioning babe's sense disapearing is hilarious tbh this movie cut is really for people who watched the show

locker room scene in the flashback my beloved

they dropped the child plotline but still kept the enigma mention in lmao AND THE "can mama not break up with papa" incredible

this is my favourite scene I think the HUG "you have to make up for it for the rest of your life" that's marriage actually

bloodied kim on his knees LOOKING RESPECTFULLY 👀👀👀

HOW is tony's security so bad. jeff is RIGHT THERE

Pete buying all the kids to save them 🥺 the only rich man who should be allowed to live

who's phone IS jeff using. I say kenta's

Pete immediately punching babe back is my favourite thing actually

Pete's casual "btw I am the most powerful guy around" and we don't even know he can read minds yet

Way bluescreening as Babe reveals Pete's an enigma. nut is SUCH a good actor

'Charlie ❤️' leave me here to die actually

it's the way Way is so CALM about it it's skin-crawling

at all times I am wondering why Tony values babe's powers over Way's. he can MIND CONTROL PEOPLE

it's midnight and there's still an hour to go. I could pause and continue tomorrow but no. we are committed.

way getting slapped and bent over the table is just for me actually 👀

Winner's smug face!!! that's my boy

jeff's lucky he established himself as very stoic because his reaction is like "oh well. I guess he died. 🫤"

wait I]m not emotionally capable of watching babe go trhough this

honestly pit babe having such a raw real depiction of grief is. I'm constantly thinking about it.

not enough Kenta in this cut but thankfully they left in him getting slapped until there's blood in his mouth. best scene.

way getting tossed around 👀 I am watching very respectfully

aww we didn't get the kim getting not rescued scene. this movie cut isn't great for north and sonic enjoyers (everyone)

pete's sweaters look so soft

babe appealing to kenta using their shared history my HEART

kenta! on! his! knees! kenta begging…. I will never be normal about this

imagine giving winner responsibilities 💀

pete dressing down by wearing a hoodie zipped alllll the way up

they really went "eh people will get the gist" when cutting these scenes lol. dean just straight up disappeared.

alan just leaving the kids behind I cannot get over that like WHAT are you doing

actually this would've been amazing in the show too if this was the first we saw of charlie after he died. this reunion lives in my mind forever the way babe's voice goes all wavery as he says charlie's name "when you weren't here, I wasn't happy at all" GOD. charlie starting to understand that he is important to babe because of WHO he is

they gave pete a chair but not way lol

I know its not the point but jeff's pants are like. perfect.

I hope winner is exactly the same in season 2 he's perfect 😌

I know that scene's not in this cut but what's the point of pete being so good with a bow and arrow if he can't also use a gun just as well. like one's a little more practical these days

KNIFE🔪 TIME 🔪 it's the best. that single tear… kill me as well actually

the fact that none of them even tried to crawl over to way while tony was monologuing they didn't even TRY

I forgive every flaw when babe cries so well and way is so pretty even dying

(god I'm so hungry but it's like 1am)

charlie kissing babe's stomach and babe calling him "dad" that's because babe's pregnant actually 🤠

LOCKERROOM SCENE AS THE POST CREDITS SCENE genius. give them an oscar right now.

final verdict: no regrets definitely worth ~$20 and staying up late for no reason

[trainingdummyrabbit]

[SURFS INSIDE OF THE ASKBOX AGAIN] hello i am Here to ask about what the Hell do magpie and luci have going on. Considering the whole Thing. magpie's watch being important to him and how luci is associated with the backwards clock. That Kind of Ordeal ^<^

hai . i am so capable of being normal about this. lie.

ok so im once again going to be At It, some mix btwn scattered notes and infodumping and me just saying words You Get It. i have Not been talking abt them as much as i think abt them, theyre another dynamic that haunts me to death. you understand. anyway; ~28 paragraphs.

so first i should Probably actually go over magpie as a character bc i. somehow. dont think i have. at all. so ^_^

magpie, our funny little manager, is introduced mostly as a negligible character. honestly? he just kind of sucked. shows up to be really annoying before dipping again, yapping just because he can, mostly. hes set up entirely to be some 'rich completely-inept asshole climbing the corporate ladder,' acting like hes So In Touch With Everyone (but still blatantly comes across as a complete and total narc). this is on purpose. magpie is a liar.

none of that is true, and he simply plays up the role so that people dont really suspect anything of him. actually, hes not supposed to be the manager at all. at his core, hes actually just. some guy from the backstreets people hire to do misc dirty work-- delivering information, just so happening to mess up in places that takes attention away from someone else, poking his nose places it doesnt belong-- hes got the look and charisma of someone who can be trusted, and he plays it up Hard. multiple times.

he has several different presentations he cycles through to get people to see him a certain way. he is Very Good at his job. he Hates his job. so much so, in fact, that after a particularly. messy. instance, he dropped off the map entirely to figure out some way-- any way at all-- to regain some sort of stability. (to stop the inevitability of harm even a little bit, even just once. (to make up for it all, maybe.))

so. yeah! magpie lies. a lot. he doesnt really care for status or the company as a whole at all-- originally it was just t cause problems for people he views as In Power, but like… fuck dude theres a LOT of people who Just Work Here, and if he went through with just Causing Problems like he thought he was going to, well. oof. so. change of plans! honestly now hes just trying to find some way to Get Everyone The Fuck Out Of Here.

he plays the part, and he snoops. he pretends not to notice shit he Definitely shouldnt be allowing (but like… if it makes shit easier for them, then yknow..) and pretty much just… lets people treat him however. because ultimately his act is Annoying and Untrustworthy yes, but also Completely Nonthreatening. people will let him get away with a LOT of shit with the excuse that he is "kinda stupid" and "doesnt know what hes doing." and well, yknow. whatever works! there is no way this can backfire <33

. so his thing with luci.

luci also generally sticks to her role as just kinda. yknow. Managerial Guide. at least to start out with. shes just figuring shit out yknow. and honestly, nobody really catches onto her being like… Conscious. except for Magpie. because he would always make dumb little quips and jokes at her out of habit-- yknow, like one talks to a particularly unruly printer or something-- and then she would respond in kind. like… snarking back enough to be like Okay Theres No Way Someone Just Programmed That In There Right. and not just that, she'd return with her Own little quips and questions, then act as though she didn't.

magpie originally takes this as a kind of "haha ok thats kind of fucked, at least thats something Super Illegal against these guys we can use if we need to" but then. unfortunately. the thing about magpie is that, against his own instincts, he cares for people. a Lot. he doesnt much enjoy watching people in danger-- and most certainly doesnt want to cause any of that Himself, he's over that.

which is to say: he Instantly gets attached. he cant really say it, but he counts her as as much of a person as anyone else is pretty much instantly, despite him knowing he really really shouldnt be doing that this is so stupid he cant just jump to conclusions like that and if anyone finds out theyre all So Dead. but he cant :( he cant help it… hes just a lil guy and luci is very obviously doing a horrible fucking job at hiding the fact that shes like… conscious. and he has a role to play up too, so its not like he can Do anything, especially since shes part of the damn facility's system and can probably get into contact with important people really easily..

so for a while, its just. luci thinking shes doing a great job at slinking around and playing the manager for a fool the whole time, and magpie fully aware but pretending not to notice and trying to just make things passively easier for her to figure herself out without anyone noticing. its insufferable. because theyre both Correct and Entirely Wrong about each other.

luci completely falls for his Dumb Manager facade and plays the part accordingly, playing around with him because its convenient and kind of funny, she also happens to be the only one who catches on that he is Not Supposed To Fucking Be Here, but plays along because, again, convenient. easy enough scapegoat if she needs it. meanwhile magpie clocks onto her Instantly, but Completely misses the fact that she isnt just innocently futzing around like he thinks she is. he somehow completely trusts her, so much so that despite being the only person who could possibly figure out her Scheming he just. completely rules it out. i really have to reiterate, they are So fucking insufferable.

it isnt until past halfway through th fucking game that luci catches on that magpie's front is . well, a front. and she is genuinely insulted she never caught on. its so fucking funny. and then things get kinda complicated bc like… [waves hands around] story events…..

luci kinda functions as a sorta "final boss" for the whole thing, in heavy quotes. ihavent decided exactly how itll go yet, but. waves hand around. the point is that shes kind of directly responsible for a LOT of people dying, and also kind of for directly threatening Them as well. but the thing is, she hinges Immensely deeply on the idea of Relevancy. because her own nature is so fickle and fragile, shes insistent on making a strong Impression of herself-- as this is what she feels like will root her into reality. something much like how abnormalities function-- ideas dont really ever die, and neither do they. and Thats what she wants more than anything.

so. while it wasnt exactly her entire Goal from the start, if she can cement herself as a Villain, then sure. whatever. it could be fun! and she plays it up. as she is wont to do.

that whole thing is important because of th fact that like.. the only person who Doesnt immediately believe that image of her IS magpie. like… yeah hes kinda had th rug pulled out from under him completely (and its kind of true that if he'd been a little more observant that he could have literally stopped all of this.. he tries not to think about it too hard.) but he also just… god, despite everything he still hates the idea of having to do anything to her.

it takes him a while to figure out why, but its because he's ALSO immediately able to call out her bluff. AGAIN. due to being pretty much the only person that talks to her directly (and.. genuinely ??? kind of??) he can tell when she is intentionally hiding something. she is very deliberately playing up the Idea of what a villain Is, goading everyone on, but he knows damn well what shes about. the issue is that it isnt wholly untrue either.

its like. yeah she intentionally hurt a lot of people, and will probably keep doing that if someone doesnt Do something about her (like everyone else wants to do…) but also… well to put it bluntly, again, she wants little more than simply to be able to Live.

shes purposefully putting herself into a role in order to get what she wants, confident that she can do whatever she wants with no consequence, and treats the entire thing as a weird little game. she doesnt really hold any malice in her heart, she just. she's just desperate and deeply, deeply confused.

shes not good, but shes not evil either. she is JUST stupid. she doesnt know what shes doing and will do just about anything to hide that fact because she hates the feeling of not having control over these things. something she Also tries to hide. honestly hes not really sure if she even notices it herself.

at this point luci has literally never had to deal with the consequences for her actions so this is quite literally the Peak of her hubris arc. to put it in a way, shes convinced she understands how the story goes and can change it how she wants, and she Does Not and Cannot. her arc is essentially trying to assign narrative significance to things in the hopes that it Fulfills something in her. it does not. instead she just has a bunch of problems she caused herself. oops. oh well <33 and its not like magpie doesnt try!! unfortunately its a little hard to talk someone down when theyre Actively Trying To Kill You, and also when theyve completely resigned themself to this sort of Only One Of Us Can Survive ultimatum.

which is to say luci keeps collecting death flags and well. oops <333 which kind of ends with magpie being literally the only person who knows that luci was ever anything other than that Antagonistic Presence she insisted on being (because she would rather have committed fully to that than to ever reveal that maybe, just a little, she was terrified of what would happen otherwise..)

but most importantly, luci ends up being Another Person that magpie couldn't help. its not like he couldve DONE anything, she would've refused anything and everything regardless, its just. man. god. ugh. that… that sucked. its not like he has a horrible track record of repeatedly failing to save people or anything… lol lmao………

so hey, the watch, right?

its something he got from one of his little jobs. last one he ever took, actually. he'd never say it was really a Moral way to make it day to day, but like, what Was, right? nothing was Really moral, everyone just kinda did what they had to; so like, no need to worry about it right? no time for all that. but then you pay a little too much attention, slip up a little, get to know someone a little too much; learn they're pretty much exactly like you are. someone with wants and hopes, little preferences and stories they get excited to share.

and then you get the guy killed. part of the plan from the start, of course, but like... he was Right There. its different when you have to look em in the eyes when you do it, yknow?

magpie's key running emotion is Guilt. he spent so long trying to avoid facing the reality of who he was and what he was doing, but unfortunately it catches up to him Big Time. he's just deceptively good at acting as though that isn't the case. no time to slow down, after all. he couldnt Afford to do anything else. honestly? his entire stunt with lcorp wasnt even something he Thought about too hard. it was stupid and impulsive and he knows it, but now he's Here, and he Has to do something. it has to be something, he can't just let it go. can't just let them go. (some part of him hopes that at the very least when it Does all backfire on him, at least it'd help somebody in the process...)

the watch is a reminder. something kind of absentmindedly tossed at him by the guy who put him on the job as a little something extra, (or in other words, something they didnt bother to want to deal with.) and then it turns out, it was just some petty fuckoff disagreement between them that started th whole thing! but its cool because he gives you the dead guy's watch "to sell for at least a little extra, as a tip." right. of course. yeah, that's... yeah, thanks. great!

he cleaned it and fixed it up and he keeps it as a memento. a little "hey dont fuck up again ok buddy?" a little "you could literally die at any time so like just remember that ok buddy?" ... an "at least let me honor this somehow before karma comes back and inevitably kicks my ass." equal parts reminder and weight to bear. sentimental piece and confession of guilt.

luci's ordeal with backwards clock is a mostly out-of-narrative subject-- assigning her abnos to thematically tie with for funsies. the clock is, wouldnt you guess it, linked with her experience with regret. its... very, very complicated to explain, especially because of the fact that 1) shes already so goddamn hard to decipher and 2) she is Also fully incapable of processing it for what it is.

which... kind of brings me to the whole Thing. magpie is plainly, fully aware that trusting luci in the way that he is is by all means a horrible, horrible idea. she's made it abundantly, repeatedly clear she will simply do whatever benefits her most at any given point. but all magpie can really see is someone struggling just a few paces behind him, exactly somewhere he has been, something he remembers incredibly clearly. as stupid as it may be, he wants to help her. he wants her to be able to find herself, confront what she refuses to acknowledge, give her a fighting chance.

he cant stand the idea of letting someone slip through his fingers like that. it's... its complicated, but its something he wants to stand by. luci just doesnt get it. she still holds a grudge towards him after everything, an odd caution knowing that he just. knows things about her. has seen her for what she is, further than she can bear to acknowledge herself, as bad of a job as she's doing hiding it. luci will continue to refuse any opening he gives to her, but he will continue to offer the option, time and time again.

. anyway heres some images.