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thepolyamorouspolymath · 1 year ago

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Ok, but Jasnah ended slavery because unlike any monarchs of the time in our world, she truly had absolute power. And there's no uprising at her unending everything by doing so bc the most prolific and valuable slaves across the planet just turned into a terrifying warrior race waging an existential war against everyone. And bc people didn't have give up their important slaves (bc the point is made often that the human slaves pretty much suck and aren't really important to running anything) bc again they all ran off already to turn into an army to fight a genocidal war. Nobody argued with her bc the slaves were already gone and bc if they had done it early, they could have avoided some of the trouble they were having (though not all as the Fused were still coming back bent on genocide -- which I get wanting revenge but they've literally lost every time for millenia. How have they not gone fuck it, this just ain't happening, the fuckers breed like crazy and live everywhere?)

When the slaves go THAT way, it's a whole different story to just abolish slavery. Plus terrified populace -- scared people are sheep, and they are not going to fight too hard against the most intimidating woman alive and the Blackthorn to keep slaves who have already left and are trying to kill them all.

In any other situation, yes the sudden abolishing would be insane. This however was not a normal thing. Note that it wasn't Jasnah or any of the Kholins were such great people they'd always wanted it, it was that the singers showed slaves to be a very real threat. Nah, human slaves weren't the same but since humans could and did join them there was a risk of human slaves joining the singers or just rising up together in the future as a lesser headache but still a headache. And since people were already shell-shocked and having to cope with losing their good slaves, might as well rip the bandaid off quick.

Not to say Jasnah hadn't been opposed to slavery before, we don't have her on record at all. We don't have any of them on record. That's kind of a statement in itself. They took it for granted bc their station allowed them to.

As for race, they're shown to be much like actual people. They have some prejudices and some not. Dalinar trusts a dark eyed man more than anyone else before he discovers Kaladin is a Radiant. Yet still looks at other nations in bigoted ways at times. Adolin seems to not really notice -- I don't think his initial issues with Kal came from racism but from embarrassment. Jasnah looks down on literally everyone. Renarin looks down on no one. Elhokar is confused bc he doesn't get why he's demonstratably not better than them. Only Elhokar and Dalinar became better people -- Dalinar well on his way to being better from the moment Gavilor died -- and he didn't save shit.

And they very much did not save the world. They had big beats yeah. But the Windrunners who were the dregs of society? The Lightweaver built by Shallan out of deserters who'd turned bandit? Lift... I don't even know how to describe her. Szeth, who straight up murdered people unthinking bc a guy holding a rock said to? The Kholins did important shit, but they'd all be very very dead without the Radiants, which they're the only royals among them. He'll Elhokar would have died with no redemption if not for Lopen's mom who took no shit from him.

Adolin and Renarin didn't need to realize their racism was bad bc they never really had it. Adolin doesn't see Kal as a darkeyes -- we see him relating to darkeyes charmingly many times. He doesn't like Kal bc Kal is bitchy and made him feel inferior, which he wouldn't have liked from a lightened either bc the boy has ego. Renarin doesn't think he's better than anyone no matter their race or species bc the boy fails to meet societal standards in every way.

The fact is none of these people would have thought much about racism enough to realize it was bad. Royals wouldn't in any world bc everyone is a chess piece. The story about race shouldn't be told by them, bc they're the worst person to tell it -- that's a story that belongs to the oppressed. If you want to look at the race story, loom at Kal, arguably the most important character, learning not just that not all lighteyes are bad (which is not the way you wanted the racism story to be told but it is still a racism story) but also like when he sees the singers as just people despite being his enemy or when he tells Rlain he understands and gets checked for it and goes you're right I don't but I want to and actually listens to the oppressed man.

He's the race story. The Kholins are not

Proposal for Re-working the Kholins’ Character Arcs - a semi-coherent “essay” by me (feat. @akpaley, thank you for your contributions and for your attempts at editing.)

Hey guys. Different kind of post this time around, compared to my usual brand. It’s time for some fix-it fanfiction masquerading as literary critique. I won’t be using a readmore, I dunno, probably to punish anyone still following this blog or something. So! In this post I’m going to solve the all the issues of racial theming associated with the Kholin family.

I’m often very harsh on the Kholins for benefitting so much from exploitative power structures while doing little to help those below them. But then I’ve also criticized them for actually addressing these very problems in-universe. How can I be upset at them for their inaction and then also be annoyed when Jasnah ends slavery? The short answer to all of this is just that the ways these topics are addressed all feel very inauthentic. For example, in real life history it took over a century of protests, slave revolts, political campaigning, and civil wars to legally end slavery in Europe and America, and abolitionists were met with fierce opposition at every turn. A fictional world need not follow our same historical trajectory, but it still seems a little disingenuous for a monarch to just decide to end it within her first year of power because it doesn’t mesh with her philosophical framework. It’s more like trying to wrap up a subplot than actually address the topic.

Ultimately however, there’s only so far this line of criticism can ever take me because the Kholins are the protagonists and you can’t get rid of them without turning the whole story into something else entirely. And Sanderson shouldn’t have to, these are characters that he created and he’s allowed to tell a story about them. And I actually like a lot of their personalities and arcs and outlooks quite a lot. I do think it’s…unfortunate…to have used slavery and racism as disposable props in a story that ultimately turned out to be about a bunch of royals learning to be better people and saving the world along the way. So I guess what I’m interested in is if there’s a way to keep the premise, keep the characters, keep the general story beats, keep the themes of honor and personal growth, keep the basic structure of everything, and still handle those themes with grace. You know, could this be a compassionate story about addressing racism told from the point of view of nobility? Is such a thing possible?

Well, I’m going to try my best. And I’m going to be imperfect about it, obviously, so if you actually care enough to read all this shit, I welcome discussion and disagreement.

Jasnah is the most obvious example to point to as being indicative of the problem, but I also think she has the easiest character fixes. She’s already been established as an outspoken dissident on many of her society’s deeply ingrained values. Just add to her atheism and feminism that she’s also always been an outspoken abolitionist. Give her ties to an ongoing reformist movement. Have her lecture Shallan about it in Way of Kings. Make that a reason she’s butted heads with her family so much. I do think it’s poor writing to have a ruler end slavery on a whim, but I won’t deny that having the right person in power can make a huge difference. It’s not as cathartic as having Kaladin lead a slave revolt (or as having Moash destroy society <3) but that doesn’t make it inherently bad so long as the topic itself is still treated with weight. Have her moralistic ideology be firmly pre-established so that when she has to explain why she’s abolishing slavery, her reasoning can be purely pragmatic. The reason she’s moving so fast is because this is a historical point of heightened change, and so her reforms are more likely to work, but if she waits too long and things settle back into a new status quo, she may have missed her window. Not to mention, when her nephew comes of age, her own legitimacy as a ruler might be challenged, so she needs to do as much as she can in what may be end up being a short reign. As a character, Jasnah has always been able to girlboss her way past political realities through sheer force of personality, and that’s great and all, but I think it heightens her character’s competence if she does have to deal with real backlash, not just to her but to her policies as well. The narrative doesn’t even need to linger on her opposition, but acknowledging it and acknowledging that she’s simply a member of a preexisting and ongoing movement would have done wonders to portray slavery as a real and prescient issue. Then again, this is a topic which people have fought and continue to fight wars over, so it wouldn’t be unreasonable for her to have receive major backlash either; perhaps when the Kholins hear in Words of Radiance that she was assassinated, the news could come as tragic but not entirely unexpected so as to imply that her opposition has attempted such in the past. All this is to say, I don’t think it’s at all wrong for Jasnah to do what she did. I also don’t think her entire stance on abolitionism should have come down to a comment where she tells her uncle she’s trying to rule according to ethically consistent values. The fact that slavery was insultingly easy to end not only delegitimizes is as a topic worthy of discussion, but also is a really scathing indictment of literally everyone else in the ruling class who didn’t even think to try.

Jasnah done, easy, Dalinar next.

Dalinar is probably the most complicated character for me to discuss and form coherent statements on. He’s just so rife with contradictions down to his core. That’s probably why I continue to like him so much, why he’s still my favorite, even though I still consider him to be a Bad Person over all. I think deep down I’ll always lean a bit too pacifistic ideologically to ever consider a warlord/general to be a good person, no matter how honorable he may be or how much growth he may undergo. Don’t get me wrong, I still do love his growth. Dalinar is characterized by his constant change and forward momentum, even moreso than the rest of the cast. So for discussing him, at what point can I point to him and say “this is Dalinar, this is who he is, this is what he believes and what he cares about”? Of course, during any point in his arc, you’re going to have to grapple with the fact that all of his lofty rhetoric about honor and striving for personal betterment is ultimately going to be pretty useless to all the people whose lives he’s meaninglessly thrown away across his military career. For me personally, when I talk about his character I like to take the end-of-oathbringer approach, where I acknowledge everything he did in the past as Blackthorn, I agree that it was pretty fucked up, and I forgive him and grant him a clean slate. All this to say that even if I’m judging him purely by his behavior as the current Dalinar within the present day continuity of the books, he’s still a massive hypocrite with horrific amounts of blood on his hands which he’s never even bothered to consider. I dunno, when I first read Way of Kings and I first got to meet this general who’s leading an army in a literal genocide campaign, I sort of figured he’d get some kind of “wait am I the bad guy” moment at some point in the future. And he did get a moment in Oathbringer where he has to fully confront his guilt over past actions, it was great, I really really loved it! But it was also all about actions he took before the series even started, so I guess wiping out the listeners wasn’t a sin he thought needed any atonement. I’m not going to get into the narrative’s treatment of singers and listeners on this post (for no other reason than because I have waaaaaaay too much to say there) but the point I’m getting at is that however good Dalinar’s growth is and whatever direction it takes, it’s always going to have poisonous roots to me. And his treatment of class/racial issues is no different.

Fixing Dalinar is going to take a lot of what Dalinar does best: introspection. In Way of Kings, Dalinar dislikes how Sadeas treats his bridgemen because he believes it to be dishonorable, because he believes Sadeas is forcing others into a situation that he himself would never put himself into. He also has various sympathetic reflections here and there about how sad it is when soldiers die, and about how without the benefit of the Thrill, violence is actually kind of bad. You know how it goes. But I don’t think he ever put himself at risk to actually help or protect any of the people who are dying. Whether he wants to end the war or not, he still continues to participate in it. And he’s still willing to set aside the lives of literally everyone beneath him so he can pursue his dream of unity. The book ends with Kaladin and the rest of bridge four saving him and Adolin, and in gratitude, he purchases their freedom and gives them honored positions in his household. You know, because he’s so honorable. Everyone loves this scene, so I’m going to make it the catalyst for Dalinar’s new and improved character development. The problem with saying Kaladin helped Dalinar so Dalinar helped Kaladin is that when I’m being reductive and uncharitable (like I’m being right now), I can argue that their relationship basically started as a quid pro quo. This scene is meant to prove that Dalinar really is the most honorable person in Alethkar, just as Syl thought, only it doesn’t actually do that. See I don’t actually want Dalinar to start treating Kaladin as an equal. I want Dalinar to, in that moment, realize that Kaladin is better than him. That for all of his pontificating about honor, he would have never even considered risking his own life and the lives of his own family to rescue a bunch of bridgemen. I want him to see Kaladin’s honor, and rather than be validated in his beliefs, I want him to be thoroughly humbled. Let him spend all next book reflecting on all the lives of darkeyes he’s destroyed. Let it shame him, as Evi’s death shamed him. He already flirts with these lines of thought, and he already has an arc about confronting his past actions. Let the racial injustices he’s participated in be a part of that. Let him abandon his books and traditions instead look to Kaladin to learn what honor truly means. I don’t know how any of this would translate to his actions, because if we’re being honest his ideals are already quite incongruous with his actions, but the fact that he manages to have such strong theming regardless makes me think maybe that’s okay. I guess ultimately it would be enough for me if his character, as someone who symbolizes the ideals of a nation, was able to look at a darkeyes publicly be a follower rather than always trying to lead by his own personal example.

That’s Dalinar. Elhokar next?

I actually don’t think there’s too much wrong with Elhokar’s writing, especially in the first two books where a much greater emphasis on these themes were placed. He’s not a protagonist and we the audience aren’t supposed to endorse his actions. Most of what I’d change about his story is more about Kaladin and Moash than it is about him. I definitely don’t love that he can throw away the lives of his own people by the thousands in the genocide campaign that was the vengeance war, and then have the narrative just ignore all that in favor of him being sad about his own incompetence. If Elhokar is meant to be a sympathetic character, then when he calls himself a bad king, that’s what he should be thinking about, the number of lives he’s wasted over these years. I actually like him a lot more as a less sympathetic character, and I think I would have preferred if in oathbringer the narrative and the other characters would have stopped making so many excuses for him. Back to Kaladin and Moash, those are the two characters defined by their experiences as members of the downtrodden caste, so I personally sort of judge the problematic-ness of the whole story by how they get treated. Everyone loves to talk about how those two are foils. So. In order to strengthen Kaladin and Moash’s characters, either Elhokar needs to be as much of a monster as Amaram, or Amaram needs to be just as sympathetic and conflicted and having-of-a-toddler as Elhokar. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love the trope of finding at the end of a revenge quest that the person you hated has changed and grown. But I hate how this means that Moash’s hatred is wrong and unjustified, whereas Kaladin’s is validated at every turn. I don’t actually dislike Elhokar. I mean I think he’s a bad person, but I like a lot of characters who are bad people. I just think that if this story really wants to grapple with class and race (because it sure brings them up a lot for a story that doesn’t want to talk about them), then Moash is a much more important character than him, with a lot more to add to that kind of discussion, which is why I think Elhokar’s characterization would have to come second to Moash’s development. (Obviously if this series were being reworked to be better on this topic, Moash would have to be written with a lot more compassion in general, but this post isn’t about him.)

Intermission time. Gavilar.

Gavilar is already perfect, 10/10, great character all around, what a guy, no notes, no wonder he’s so universally beloved among all of the fans, social justice icon.

Okay onto Navani.

I may not be the best person to talk about Navani. She has never been a favorite character of mine, and so compared to the others I haven’t thought as much about her values or the way she thinks or the narrative impacts of her actions. Someone who has more love for her would probably write better criticisms of her. (I’m going to reject any premise that falls along the lines of “Navani isn’t racist because she feels X,” but I’m not wholly confident in my analysis here, and I welcome any good faith critiques both of my own thinking and of her character when come at from other angles.) It’s hard to say where she should have grown from how she starts out viewing darkeyes because I don’t actually know how she starts out viewing darkeyes. I know I’m probably meant to assume she just treats everyone equally because she’s a Good Person on Team Good Guys, but it’s hard to just accept that she had all around good values when she married a warlord and was in love with his more violent brother. I dunno, was her “good guy” status meant to have always been an element of her character, or did she get it secondhand from her association with the new and improved Dalinar? With someone like Adolin, we got to see what shitty values he held at the start of Way of Kings (I’m talking about the Alethi warmongering, not his interest in fashion) but we also got to see how his father gradually won him over throughout the course of the book, and then later on we get to see him develop further on his own. For someone like Navani, I find it strange how she’s always so proactively supportive of Dalinar in everything, even when his own goals and values are in flux. I assume her character is just meant to be super ride or die when it comes to her family, and I do like that in a character, but that also means that she’s been wholly willing to support or at the very least excuse her family’s oppression and exploitation of darkeyes without comment. (See, Lirin is a much better parent than Navani, he would never have let his son start a whole genocidal vengeance war for fun and profit (I say this as if I’m joking but I’m kinda not.)) Some people have reminded me that she was pretty much shut out of the political process by Gavilar and Elhokar, and I agree with that, but I don’t really have any evidence that she would have cared much about darkeyes even if she had been more involved. In general it just seems like the whole topic doesn’t matter much to her. So what I would wish for the narrative would be to lean further into this. Draw attention to her cognitive dissonance and try and make the readers feel conflicted about her as a person. Highlight the fact that she’s willing to overlook the suffering that befalls other families if it means success for her own. I think one of my issues with her is that to me, this is a major (and interesting!) character flaw, but the books never seem to treat it as such. Honestly I think if this were intentional, I’d probably find her character really interesting, but from my reading of the text, I feel that I’m supposed to think of Navani as a generally decent person who’s by and large on the right side of things. The thing is, with the caste system playing such an integral role in their culture, I think she needs to have some sort of feelings about it, or else the fact that she doesn’t should be an issue to overcome. Otherwise she becomes another factor delegitimizing racial oppression as a real and important problem. If she’s a good guy and she doesn’t care about racism, then that’s saying you don’t have to be antiracist to be a good person in this world.

Probably could have done that one better. I dunno. Leave me angry and hateful comments if I’m totally misrepresenting your favorite character. Moving on.

Adolin already has some great character development across the books. And he already has kind of engaged with this stuff in his story. Unfortunately, that’s less used in the��“this person was racist but is becoming better sense” and more used in the sense of “Kaladin learns that #NotAllLighteyes are bad” which is pretty unfortunate for a number of reasons. Especially since, if he actually was going to prove he’s different from other lighteyes, out of all the Kholins I think Adolin is the best candidate for being a full on class traitor. I’m serious, looking back over the events of his plotlines, it would suit him shockingly well while disturbing the overall narrative shockingly little.

Adolin’s current plot is loosely as follows: in Way of Kings he likes all the things someone of his station is supposed to like, clothes, violence, dueling, warfare, swords, hangtime with the guys, all the good stuff. At the beginning of the book he doesn’t understand why old, stuck-up Dalinar can’t just let loose and be a relelntless war-monger like everyone else, but by the end of the book he’s come to understand a certain value to honor and thus has begun to become a better person himself. Words of Radiance has him lose his popularity, fall out of favor with all of his friends, grow disillusioned with his society, perform a prison sit-in in solidarity with Kaladin, and murder Sadeas. Most of this is done again, because of his father, and how Adolin now wants to help and support him and his ideals. In Oathbringer he mostly isn’t involved in courtly politics, being away on a mission for much of it, but he does make a pretty big move by rejecting the throne. In Rhythm of War we see the schism that’s formed between him and his father until he leaves on another long-distance mission. Summary over. In general I reject the idea that making the Kholins be individually less racist makes for a better, or more nuanced and compassionate discussion of the topic, but if anyone is primed for a “lighteyes learns racism is wrong” character arc, I think it’s Adolin. Imagine him following a bit less in Dalinar’s footsteps and a bit more in Jasnah’s. You almost don’t even have to change any story beats: in getting to know Kaladin, something clicks in Adolin where he realizes that if he wants to treat Kaladin as his equal, he has to treat all darkeyes as equals, and so he realizes to his horror that he and his entire caste of friends and family are all monsters for treating them the way they do. (Actually, there is one plotline in WoR I’d probably scrap, and that’s his slowburn bromance with Kaladin. I mean I get what Sanderson was going for with the ribbing and then eventual friendship, but Kaladin was an absolute stranger who risked his own life to save Adolin and his father from certain death, and so I feel there should probably have been a bit more overt respect upfront there.) In pushing for his newfound belief in equality, he ends up burning through all of his intracaste goodwill and political capital, causing all of his friends to drop him. When he kills Sadeas, it doesn’t have to be about protecting Dalinar or about personal revenge, it could also be that he’s gotten to know Bridge 4 and learned firsthand about the atrocities they’d gone through, and so there’s no way he’d allow such a pioneer of human rights violations to stay in power. In the following books, maybe he’s become so politically toxic due to challenging the very foundations of his own power, his own family has to send him away on missions so he can’t rock the boat too much at home. Maybe refusing the throne was more of a political statement than a personal one, because he’s come to understand that being a ruler means oppressing thousands of others. Maybe this is another form of hypocrisy he criticizes Dalinar for, how Dalinar might claim to value darkeyes but how he still retains power bought with thousands of their corpses. None of this has to modify actual events very much, it just affects the reasons for them. And it would also meaningfully show why he gets to be a “good lighteyes” if he actually engaged with his status and rejected it, knowing it comes at the expense of others.

Okay, enough about that. Renarin maybe?

I won’t say too much about Renarin here, because I’d probably just end up repeating a lot of the same criticisms of how he’s used as a “good lighteyes.” From a narrative standpoint, all those criticisms hold for him as well. You know, he wants to join Bridge Four, and future-villain Moash doesn’t like the idea because he doesn’t trust lighteyes, but Kaladin reassures him that Renarin is a good boy, so don’t worry about it, and everything works out fine in the end, proving that lighteyes are good people just like you and me. This isn’t a problem with him as a person or character, it’s just more of that general theme of “the caste system is fine so long as nice people are at the top” which I clearly think should be interrogated. Thus far, in contrast to the rest of his family, Renarin is very young and has had much less of a political presence, not to mention fewer POV chapters anyway, so I think delving too much deeper here will feel a bit hollow to me.

Does Shallan count as a Kholin? I’d like to talk about her super briefly.

Unpopular opinion, but I actually think Shallan is one of the better characters on the topic of race insofar as how she’s written, especially compared to the other Kholins. But wait, I hear you say, what about all of her dozens of instances of casual racism? Yes, that’s what I’m referring to. I like how Shallan demonstrates how ingrained these harmful ideologies are in their society. I like how every time she has a distasteful thought, we the audience are reminded that racism still exists and even good people will continue to promote it if they don’t view it critically. I like that Shallan is problematic, because their society has problems! At least with her it doesn’t feel like the story’s trying to sweep the fact under the rug. There are plenty of issues with her writing, plenty of jabs at Kaladin that probably shouldn’t have been treated as cute. She’s actually the main character whose racism and classism I see criticized the most. And I think that’s a good thing! My issue with the Kholins isn’t that I think they should all be less racist, my issue is that their positions are inherently oppressive, and it seems as though the narrative doesn’t think that matters so long as deep down they’re good people. When people critique Shallan in specific instances, I tend to see a fair amount of consensus and agreement there, but when I critique the Kholins people will argue with me by pointing out that Dalinar/Adolin/Navani/whoever actually treats darkeyes as equals, so my arguments are invalid. Purely my own anecdotal experience of course, but it tends to make me think that there’s something in Shallan’s writing that’s working right, something that isn’t working for the other lighteyed characters.

Now obviously with all of this, I’m not saying I want these books to have more racism in them. What I’m arguing is that if the books are going to explore the topic (which they do) then they should treat the topic with an appropriate amount of gravity rather than acting as if it can be solved by having aristocrats become nicer people.

If you’re still here with me, thank you for reading, I love you, I hope you enjoyed yourself through my descent further and further into rambly nonsense. If you just scrolled to the bottom, that’s fair enough, there won’t be a tl;dr but you’re welcome for filling your dash with massive text blocks.

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shysneeze · 4 years ago

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i solemnly swear i am up to no good (george weasley x reader)

request: what if one night the golden trio is look at the marauders map that the twins gave Harry and they see the reader and George sneaking around hogwarts and they ask George about it the next day? ~ anon

warnings: yo i don’t even think i swear in this one it’s a miracle, can’t think of anything else but Fred’s dramatics

authors note: this is the best porcastination I have ever tasted (fuck chemistry uno?) anyway, I hope this is what you were looking for anon and thank you for the request <3

...

It's a carefully constructed routine, one that George has perfected by now. He's worked out that Lee is always the last to fall asleep, and so the coast is always clear when he begins to snore, that he's safe to slip from his covers and creep down the stairs, by which point the common room is always empty and he's free to leave completely undetected.

He knows the corridors to avoid, the ones with the gossiping portraits and regular prefect patrols. He knows that McGonagall keeps her classroom lit through the night to discourage snooping students and that the ghost will turn a blind eye at most things, unless they're in a particularly bad mood.

He's thought it through perfectly, even if he does say so himself. In fact, he's not had an incident since the first night they met up, when Peeves decided to draw the attention of every sleeping painting in the vicinity, who awoke rather grouchy, and ready to take their complaints straight to Dumbledore until George convinced them he wouldn't let it happen to again.

Now, though, he's sure he's considered everything and he's rather smug with himself when he arrives at the kitchens. (Y/N) smiles at him when he arrives, already perched on one of the counter tops beside two mugs of hot chocolate.

"Still beat ya, Georgie." She grins.

"Right you." He teases. "You have no idea the expedition it is to get here without getting caught."

"Excuses, excus-"

He's kissing her before she can finish, her laughter vibrating against his lips until she recovers from the abruptness of it and is gathering a handful of his jumper and pulling him closer as she does every time.

They've thought of everything to keep it their own, their sacred routine and their special secret. They've eliminated every possible hiccup that could occur, they're sure of it. Everything always goes as plan and their relationship is kept protected in it's own little bubble, the way they like it.

"You're not still obsessing over that map."

The boys by the fireplace jumps at the sound of Hermione's voice, staring wide-eyed as she stands on the bottom of the girl's dorm's staircase with a disappointed frown. Harry clutches the map against his chest, as if it will anyway hide it from her.

"'Mione." Ron exhales. "You gave me a bloody heart attack!"

"What are you doing up?" Harry asks.

"I left my textbook down here." She informs. "You?"

"We're uh, checking to see if Flitwick is still in the hospital wing with the flu." Harry admits shamefully. "So we don't need to the do the homework..."

"Of course you are."

She comes forward with a sigh, dropping into the seat beside them. She can't help but be slightly curious on the matter, even with her already completed homework upstairs. The map is characteristically empty for the time of night, most people's names stationary in their dorms except from the occasional pacing teacher, still up marking, or the prefects on their rounds.

It's what makes the set of footsteps tiptoeing down an empty corridor so noticeable, George Weasley's name so stark on the otherwise empty stretch of enchanted parchment. Hermione frowns at it curiously and points.

"What is George doing?"

"Who knows." Ron shrugs. "Probably just setting up some sort of prank."

Hermione gives him an unconvinced look and drags her finger up to the Gryffindor tower, halting at the boys dorms, where Fred's name lies still where he is sleeping. Ron takes a minute to catch onto the implication.

"Then why is Fred not there either?"

"Maybe he's gone rogue?" Harry suggests.

"I doubt that."

They return to George as his inky footsteps lead further through the castle, looping through hidden corridors and secret passage ways methodically before arriving at the kitchen, where upon realisation, Hermione lets out a chuckle.

"Oh."

"What?" Ron frowns.

"Look who already in the kitchens." She explains.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)." Ron exhales. "What's he meeting up with her for?"

"Think about it, Ronald." Hermione smiles knowingly.

Ron's brows scrunch in confusion, looking expectantly to Harry, who seems to have already clued himself in and is grinning knowingly. Then his eyes begin to widen with realisation and Hermione nods.

"He can't be- with (Y/N)?" Ron gasps. "No..."

"Seems that way." Harry gives an amused smile.

"That smug git." Ron breathes. "I knew he was hiding something!"

Hermione lets out a soft laugh, soon followed by Harry. Thoughts of Flitwick's whereabouts long forgotten at this new information and it's implications. In the kitchens the pair's names have stilled together, oblivious to the secrets they've spilled.

George sips slowly at his coffee, willing it to make up for his late night with a burst of energy. Even through his tiredness, he's grinning to himself at the memories of the night before. His eyes search for (Y/N)'s across the room, finding them quickly, well practiced in the art of doing so. She’s nursing a cup of coffee in a similar way, and gives a knowing smile before dropping her gaze with a slight shake of her head.

Across the table, Ron watches the exchange with insider knowledge and scowls at his elder brother, a mixture of perplexed and impressed. Harry nudges him warningly, but wears a knowing sort of smirk that George catches from the corner of his eyes and causes him to grow slightly uneasy from.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing." Harry assures, coughing out a laugh. "Nothing, George."

"Alright..."

He attempts to return to his breakfast when he hears Ron snigger, rounding back on them with a frown. Hermione lifts her glass to her lips to hide her smile, only adding to George confusion. Fred's picked up on it too now, watching their little brother and his friends curiously.

"What are you lot so smug about?" Fred asks.

"That's what I'd like to know." George agrees with a frown.

George watches as Ron's eyes drift across the room towards same place as his had a moment ago, to (Y/N). George's jaw slackens ever so slightly, alerting Fred to this new development, also glancing over at the girl. (Y/N) isn't blind to this new attention, lifting her eyes to meet theirs and frowning in concern.

"Shut up." George tells Ron sternly. "Don't say anything."

"What?" Fred frowns. "What are you on about, George?"

George fixes Ron with a glare whilst also trying to figure out how he's come to know this information. He's so sure he'd considered everything, yet his brother is grinning at him like he's just won the lottery for best blackmail material possible.

Then, from the corner of Harry's robes, he recognises the aged parchment that he and Fred gave the boy themselves. He finds himself gulping and his cheeks growing warmer by the second as Harry chuckles at him.

"What the hell is going on?" Fred ask sharply, growing agitated at being left out of the loop. "What has (Y/L/N) got to do with it?"

Ron last two seconds before he's blurting it out despite George's pleading look.

"George met up with (Y/N) in the kitchen's last night."

"Merlin..." George groans.

"What!?" Fred bursts loudly. "You what?"

George groans and drops his head into his hands as Fred stares wide-eyed and betrayed. George should have considered the map, the most damning piece of evidence there could be, that no perfect timing and strategic route planning could save them from.

"You absolute git!" Fred exclaims, punching his twins arms. "You've got yourself a girlfriend and didn't tell me!"

"Ah!" George exclaims, sitting up to rub his arm soothingly. "No need for violence!"

"Uh, yeah there is!" Fred argues. "How long has this been going on?"

"I don't know- a few weeks?" George offers.

"A few week-" Fred gasps. "And Ron knew before me?"

"I didn't exactly plan that." George defends. "Harry's got the bloody map."

"Wow." Fred folds his arms. "You think you know someone."

"Oh come off it, Fred." George groans. "I would've told you eventually."

"Eventually." Fred scoffs. "I'm your brother- your twin! I should have been told the minute it started!"

George runs his finger through his hair with a sigh and gives Fred a sheepish look, although it does nothing to appease his twin's sour look. He's nice enough to feel somewhat guilty for it, even with his brother's dramatics.

"Are you ashamed of your family George?"

That's when George clocks that he's just being a dramatic git. He rolls his eyes at his brother as he starts up with a rant on loyalty and brotherhood, hand on his heart like he's quoting Shakespeare.

"You'll get over it soon enough." George decides flippantly. "We just liked sneaking around."

"That's possibly the most goddamn boring excuse you could come up with." Fred announces disappointedly. "You just ruined my whole thing- I was hoping for something like she thought you were me the whole time and this was actually a case of identity theft."

"Sorry to disappoint." George smirks with a shrug. "But she thinks I'm the better looking twin."

"She's clearly blind."

"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you all." George sighs. "It started as an accident and then we just kind of got used to it."

"Wow, romantic." Fred jokes.

"Shut up." George scoffs. "It's not everyone's idea of a nice date but it's ours and we like it."

Fred smiles quite genuinely at this, the defensiveness in his brother's tone.

"You really like her." He observes. "Huh?"

George's eyes drift unsubtly towards the girl in question, where his smile widens at seeing her with that smile he's so used to feeling on his lips when they kiss. He chuckles to himself before turning back to his brother.

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"Then I'm happy for you." Fred decides, clapping his brother's shoulder. "But ever keep anything like this from me again and your twin status is revoked."

"Noted." George grins. "Oh, and Ron?"

Ron gulps at the change in his brother's tone.

"Yeah?"

"I'd be checking your shoes for spiders for a while mate."

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george x reader #george weasley imagine #Fred and George imagine #george imagine #weasley twins #weasley twins imagine #fred weasley #harry potter #harry potter fanfics #fred and george

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youbloodymadgenius · 3 years ago

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Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 4

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite , who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310 , @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria . Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 2877

Additional note: This is the final chapter. There'll be an epilogue, but you'll have to wait a bit because there are a lot of challenges I've signed up for and I'm way behind schedule.

Enjoy 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

Devastated and angry at the world. That's how Ivar is feeling.

Holed up in his room since the night before, and despite Lagertha incessant requests, he doesn’t plan to come out, not now at least. Come to think of it, he might as well decide never to leave his room again.

He can't stand the idea of facing his brothers. He doesn't want to have to tell them about his failure. He doesn't want to endure Ubbe's pity and condescendence. He doesn't want to see the look of triumph on Sigurd's face. The thought makes his stomach lurch while at the same time a murderous urge creeps into his mind. No, he definitely can't see his brothers.

Surprisingly, and unlike Lagertha, his brothers have left him alone, as if sensing that entering his room would be as moving into a minefield. Only Hvitserk had taken a chance earlier, cautiously poking his head through the door. His disapproving look obvious when his eyes had taken in the scene before him, Ivar's belongings scattered on the floor, some of them smashed into pieces.

"I got you a chocolate muffin from the kitchen, baby bro," he had explained, putting it on a nearby shelf, and it had almost brought a smile to Ivar's face. To Hvitserk, there's no predicament that can't be improved with comfort food.

"Look, Ivar," scratching his neck, Hvitserk had then said, "I don't know what happened and I don't want to pressure you. You tell me when you're ready, if you are. But I'm here, okay? Whatever the time of day or night, you don't have to be alone if you don't want to. If I'm upstairs, just call me, okay?" With these words, he was gone, the door closed.

Ivar can't get the events of the previous evening out of his mind. Like a waking nightmare, they are playing over and over in his head: how he had freaked out when he heard the beeps; the confused and then so disappointed look you had given him when he sputtered his need to leave; finally, his shameful escape into the night.

What could he have done? What should he have done?

He does know the answer. He should have been more cautious. He should have checked the time, asked for your number and just walked away.

On the other hand, what difference would it have made? He would still have no future with you, right? He would still be a cripple, and you would still be... you... perfect... too good for him.

So yeah, he had run away like a coward. He lets out a bitter chuckle to himself. Run away? Who is he kidding? He hadn't run away, that would have been too easy. Cripples don't run away. Without his cane – why the fuck did he leave it behind?? – he had pathetically limped away, stumbling, his feet sinking into the sand. He had still been on the beach when the battery had died. He had had no other choice but to crawl like a worm the rest of the way, silently praying to the gods that the darkness of the night would prevent you from seeing him like this.

Tears of despair run down his cheeks for the umpteenth time. He's used to feeling humiliated, but feeling humiliated and heartbroken simultaneously is really too much to take. He feels like he's dying from the inside over and over again, cursing himself for wanting to attend the party, for wanting to see you again. He should never have let his walls down, he should never have dared to hope. What was he thinking? He may have walked, and even danced with you, but at the end of the day, he still is a pitiable cripple with stupid, crooked legs, in love with a girl way out of his league.

If he's being honest, that's what hurts the most. He now realizes how delusional he had been. Holding on to a dead dream for years, he had not forseen the painful yet unavoidable reality check. And now, it's like he's been hit by a train. Because there's no denying it, dreaming of a life with you is no longer an option, not after last night. And even though it's almost unbearable, he knows now he has to let go of you, of the idea of you and him being together. As much as this mere thought is devastating, he has no other choice. He has to stop fooling himself, for his own sanity, if nothing else.

Giving a guttural cry, much like that of a wounded animal, Ivar doesn't hear when the front doorbell rings. Not that he would have reacted even if he had heard it, too busy wallowing in self-pity.

***

"Thank you for having us here on such short notice, my dear." Your uncle states joyfully, his eyes sparkling, as Lagertha greets him with a handshake and a tight-lipped smile. Even though you don't know why, it's obvious that she's not his biggest fan.

Your uncle, who doesn't seem to notice – or doesn't care, you're not sure – keeps giving her a beaming smile. "My niece here," he turns his head toward you for a short moment, "has a weird request. She met a boy yesterday, during the party. He lost something and my sweet Y/N has been adamant since this morning that she wants to find him and personally return it to him. We were wondering," he turns his gaze in the direction of the couch, "if it could be one of your wards."

There are indeed three young men, half sprawled on the couch, who get up as one when Lagertha gives them a stern look. If you vaguely remember having seen them before, a single glance is enough for you to know that the one you're looking for is not among them.

You're on the verge of saying so but your uncle doesn't give you a chance to. "See boys," he unceremoniously grabs the cane you're holding behind your back, "here is the lost item. A cane! Fairly uncommon, if you ask me. Anyway... Does this... thing belong to any of you?"

Since you know it doesn't, you're surprised when two of the guys both take a step forward. "Actually, it's mine," they say in unison, each of them only then becoming aware that the other is speaking.

Dumbstruck, you look at one then the other successively. They've got a lot of nerve! You know they're lying, and you would have known it even if these two idiots hadn't spoken at the same time. They just look nothing like your handsome stranger – if he's a stranger.

"Sigurd, you know it's mine!"

"Don't play dumb, you never use a cane, Ubbe! Whereas me, I do sometimes. Everyone knows artists tend to be eccentric, right?"

The blondest one – Sigurd if you heard right – points his finger at a guitar leaning against the wall and then winks at you, "I'm a musician, you know?" You don't even have time to roll your eyes as the other one – Ubbe? – yells, his nostrils flaring.

"Shut up Sig, you're so full of shit! You know I've got a sprained ankle!"

"A sprained ankle, no kidding? Who did a ten-kilometer run today, huh? It's not me! So, you are the one going to shut up, you fucking douchebag!"

It's almost funny to watch them arguing back and forth. If you weren't so pissed off, you'd laugh. But right now, you're mostly mad at them. Their blatant lies make your blood boil with anger.

Are they really thinking you're a complete idiot? That you can be fooled so easily? Who do they think they are? Who do they think you are? Some stupid chick ready to fall for their good looks? If they think that, they're kidding themselves.

"You're the fucking douchebag, Sig!! Don’t forget I'm the oldest!"

"And what's the difference, huh? You can't have all the girls, Ubbe! Keep fucking Margrethe and just let me be! Stop being a controlling asshole!"

"STOP!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!"

Lagertha's shout is deafening and if looks could kill, these two morons would be lying dead on the floor right here, right now.

"Y/N, my dear," Lagertha gives you an apologetic smile, "I'm so sorry for that. I swear they usually know how to behave, better than that at least. Guess they don't know how to handle your striking beauty. Now sweetheart, tell me, is one of these two knuckleheads the one you were with last night?"

The silence that falls on the room after her question is so complete that you could hear a pin drop. Acutely aware that all eyes are on you, you shyly lower your gaze, shaking your head slightly, as you clasp your hands over your belly. You eventually speak, your eyes meeting Lagertha's, and you can see she knows what you're going to say. "No, the guy I was with last night is not one of them."

"How can you be so sure?" Sigurd's voice is soft and tentative now, and Ubbe adds, seemingly for once in agreement with his younger brother, "yeah, how can you? It was pretty dark after all."

You give them a smile. "How can I be so sure? You mean beside the fact that you obviously don't need a cane? Neither of you?" The third brother, who still hasn't opened his mouth, chuckles, giving you a thumbs up. "Look, I appreciate your interest, I really do, but neither of you are the one I am looking for. Therefore," you look at your uncle, "we should leave, don't you think?" Checking the time on your watch, you shrug. "What about the Eyvindsson family? Didn't you tell me about three brothers? We may have time to go and see them tonight if we hurry."

Your uncle nods, handing you back the cane. "You're right, Y/N, we should leave." Taking two steps forward, he grabs Lagertha's hand. "Sorry dear, we will waste no more of your time."

You're about to thank her when one of the boys clears his throat. "Ahem..."

Turning your head, you're surprised to see the third brother, the silent one, raising his hand. "I think I might know who this cane belongs to." Frowning, he glances at his brothers. "And you both know it too."

"Shut up, Hvitserk!" Sigurd spits, clenching his hands into fists. "Don't bring the fucking cripple into the conversation."

"Sigurd! Keep your mouth shut!" Lagertha glares at him for several long seconds then her face softens as she looks at Hvitserk, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What are you trying to say, Hvitserk? Do you think this cane belongs to your baby brother?"

Hvitserk nods. "I know it does, actually."

"Come on, Hvit, you're talking nonsense. It cannot be, it just cannot. That guy was standing. It wasn't our brother. Our brother wasn't there last night." Ubbe stubbornly insists, but Hvitserk just shakes his head.

"Of course, he was. I saw him. And don't bullshit me, Ubbe, you saw him too. With Y/N." Hvitserk states. That's when you realize that your palms are sweating and your pulse is racing.

Hvitserk keeps going, now speaking to his guardian. "I know what I saw, Lagertha. It was him. I don't know how, but he was standing, Ubbe is right. He was even walking. It may sound weird but I swear, it was him."

Lagertha nods. "I believe you, Hvitserk." A beaming smile spreads across her lips and she tilts her head. "I wouldn't be surprised if Floki had something to do with such a miracle. Go get your brother, Hvitserk, please."

Your heart leaps at these words, you're barely able to contain your excitement and as you let out a nervous chuckle, you cannot help but jump for joy. Needless to say, Ubbe and Sigurd seem much less enthusiastic than you.

***

Reluctantly following his brother, Ivar mutters under his breath, "you're pissing me off, Hvit. I'm fucking not in the mood for whatever you have in mind."

Hvitserk pays him no mind though, a small smile dancing on his lips. "Trust me, baby bro, you'll be in the mood."

Ivar wants to protest, or maybe just turn around and wheel back to his room but all at once the sound of your voice reaches his ears and he stops, frozen in place, his eyes wide open. He may have stopped breathing.

Patting his shoulder reassuringly, Hvitserk whispers, "It's Y/N, baby bro, but I have a feeling you already know. She's here for you, she was looking for you, Ivar. Go..." before giving a single push to his brother's wheelchair, his right hand on the backrest.

Ivar honestly doesn't know how he manages to wheel himself into the living room. What he does know, however, is that you're suddenly standing right in front of him. The heart stopping smile you flash him blows all the air out of his lungs, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, and the outside world – Lagertha, his brothers, Harald – ceases to exist.

A little voice tells him he should be feeling self-conscious with his hair all messy and wearing worn sweatpants, but he can't bring himself to care, not when you kneel in front of him with stars in your eyes.

"Here you are, finally," you breathe, gently placing a hand on his knee. Ivar didn't know until now that one could die of happiness, but that's exactly what he's feeling and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

Swallowing, he blinks several times. When he speaks, his voice trembles, his bottom lip quivering. "Hello Y/N, you were... looking for... for me?" He has trouble getting the words out, his nervous fingers fidgeting on his lap.

Grabbing both his hands in yours, you nod, your thumbs stroking his knuckles tenderly. "I was, yes, and for a very long time."

Shyly lowering his head, Ivar, almost feeling dizzy, can't wrap his head around your words. They're just too good to be true. "But... why?"

"Why?" You giggle, your laughing eyes lighting up your face, and he's positive, you're even more beautiful like this. "Isn't it obvious? I want to know more about you, what's your favorite color, what you eat for breakfast, where you see yourself in ten years. I just want to spend time with you, Ivar."

'Ivar' You've just said his name and it's like the sweetest music to his ears. He can't believe it. Wow. "You... You recognized me?" There's so much hope and joy in his voice, he cringes.

You shrug, your smile never leaving your lips. "I wasn't sure at first. You've changed a lot." Your hand cups his cheek. The sensation on his skin is so overwhelming he has to hold back the tears threatening to gush. Yet, he can't help but think you're speaking about his legs.

He grits his teeth. "Yeah... Standing tall can change a man."

"No! no, no, no," you retort without missing a beat, "That's not what I meant. In my memory you still looked like you did when we were ten, but look at you now, all grown up! Your hair was so short back then." Reaching out, you brush a strand of hair back and tuck it behind his ear before letting your fingers run slowly down and up his bulging biceps, your hand finally lingering on his forearm, "Plus, you clearly work out a lot. So, yeah, I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure. When we were dancing last night, I thought I'd ask you right after, but then you left and... well... I didn't have a chance..."

Ivar wraps his fingers around yours, a frown creasing his forehead. "About that, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left like–"

You shush him, holding a finger to his lips. "It doesn't matter, Ivar. You don't have to explain. All that matters is that I found you." Standing up, you lean forward and gently kiss his cheek and he feels like he's floating. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you whisper in his ear, "I reckon we got some lost time to make up, you and me. Can we go stargazing now?"

Hearing this makes Ivar's insides turn to jelly. Barely able to think, he is on cloud nine and wishes with all his heart never to come back down to earth again. But despite the daze, despite the fog in his head, despite the blinding happiness, he knows one thing: no matter how many stars he sees, you'll be the brightest one.

"Yes, Y/N, you're right," bringing your hand to his mouth, he gives it a kiss, "let's go stargazing."

And as he leaves the room, you walking alongside him with your hand on his shoulder, his heart filled with joy and wonder, he doesn't miss the thumbs up Hvitserk gives him, nor the scowl on Ubbe's and Sigurd's faces.

For a fleeting second, he thinks he should – he could – taunt them. They deserve to be laughed at, don't they? But then, he realizes he doesn't have time for that. The time for happiness has come, and it's far more important.

Giving you a beaming smile, Ivar inhales deeply before releasing a sigh of satisfaction. Yeah. Happiness. Happiness sounds good.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar’s taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom @adrille88

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings @heavenly1927 @dini73

#ivar #modern ivar #modern!ivar #modern-ivar #modern ivar x reader #modern!ivar x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar imagine #ivar fic #ivar fanfic #ivar fanfiction #ivar vikings #vikings ivar #cherrypie’s500 #fairytale retelling #ivarello

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butt-watch · 3 years ago

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Deltarune Chapter 2 Theory

DELTARUNE SPOILERS AHEAD

I'll put under a read more, but just in case it doesn't work. Here's your warning to block "#delatrune spoilers" or scroll really fast.

Spoilers for end game and bonus boss, and a long ass dump of all the ideas I have in my head before I forget them. So, sorry if I got anything wrong or it's a mess.

I've seen a lot of theories flying around, but haven't seen this one yet. (Sorry if it is already out there and I just haven't seen it, I'm sure somebody will already have put it together better than me.) This is just some funky ideas I've been throwing around, because I'll be honest here, I love the main 3 so much, and would be sad to see any of them turn out to be evil like so many theories are suggesting.

Maybe I'm just trying to be optimistic, maybe it's the weird nb kid deep inside me latching onto a kindred spirit, maybe I'm on to something.

So here's the thing. I don't believe Kris is the knight.

I know, I know, but stay with me here.

There's no denying that at the end of the chapter, Kris created a new fountain, and with it, likely a new dark world. But I'd like to argue, this is the first one they've created. My evidence is shaky, but I think there's something there that could blossom.

I'll start off with the simple fact that multiple characters who have met the knight, Spades King especially, didn't recognise Kris at all, and you would have thought they'd recognise the person who's been feeding them so much information. You do also have a couple of dialogue options with the king this time, and definitely with the Queen, so it seems strange that neither of them recognise the voice of their Knight in shining armour.

This is where stuff starts to get a bit flaky, but also, a lot more intriguing.

At the end of the chapter Kris opened a fountain, and the night before, we saw Kris remove the soul inside them and brandish their knife. Assuming that Kris spent that time without the soul creating a fountain is a fair assumption to make, and I think it's possible that was Kris's intention, perhaps they have some connection to the knight, and knew how the fountains could be opened. But, they were missing one important ingredient.

In Chapter 2 we get an explanation from the Queen about how dark fountains are created, and with it a word that has largely been missing from Deltarune.

That's right, good old Determination.

Fountains are created when a determined Lightner plunges a sharp object into the ground. And here's where the theory comes in. I believe prior to the end of chapter 2, Kris didn't have Determination. Throughout the game, they've been filled with various sources of power, from Fluffy Boys and Mean Girls, to Cat signs. But at every save point we've been missing the signature Determination.

The closest we get is at the end of Chapter 2, just before the fight against the queen, when "a certain power" is alluded to.

And that lack of Determination, would have made opening the fountain impossible for them, after all, Queen spent the whole game building Noelle's determination high enough to open a new fountain. A smidge of determination doesn't seem to cut it.

So how did Kris get the determination?

Through the good old power of Friendship. Through the trials with their new friends, Kris has gained determination, even without the soul inhabiting them. And even though that started as half a joke (only half), whilst writing this post and trying to find screencaps, for the next section, I realised it's actually more likely than I suspected.

And that brings me to everyone's new favourite:

Spamton. During his dialogue and initial boss fight he offers a deal, rewarding Kris with [[Hyperlink Blocked]] if they accept. As far as I'm aware you're forced to accept the deal. (If anyone else tolerated more than a few minutes of smashing no deal like I did and managed to get a different outcome, kudos to your perseverance.)

What is [[Hyperlink Blocked]]? Well I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this. I believe it may well be Determination or something similar.

During the initial confrontation, Spamton refers to the players Soul as [[HeartShapedObject]].

But prior to the boss fight against Spamton NEO, he has no qualms about saying SOUL.

I've seen a lot of people theorising Spamton is being censored, and I agree that definitely seems to be the case. From a meta standpoint though I think it's interesting that the [[Hyperlink Blocked]] he mentioned so much in his first encounter doesn't seem to be mentioned at all, now the he has slightly more freedom of speech. I personally believe it's because revealing whatever Spamton was offering would have given too much away.

So how does this come back to the power of friendship? Well, upon defeating Spamton, whether through ACTing or beating the crap out of him, he realises the real treasure was the friends we made along the way.

He suggests that together, the three of them could "break their own strings"

Following the fight, there's a moment, where Susie notices that Kris is acting out of sorts. Whichever option you choose, it's obvious that Kris is shaken by the event, even going as far as to yell the answer if you let them admit how they're feeling.

The similarity to Kris's own situation, being puppeted by the player is a valid reason for the response. Whatever shook them did so with enough effect that the fear showed despite the players control. Either that, or Kris has something they didn't have, more control. More... Determination to overcome the soul.

That last part is reaching a little, which is saying something, given the amount of shaky evidence presented in this post, so I want to wrap this up mostly with something slightly unrelated, but still a Kris theory.

Why do they open the fountain?

There are a lot of theories, about being a pawn for Gaster, being an asshole, etc.

I'd like to think Kris is just a weird kid who's gotten caught up in a mess they don't really understand. They created a scenario where Susie would be forced to stay the night, and opened up a new dark world, that Susie, their friend, expressed a want for before they left the dark world.

A place where they could get away from their lives for a little while and have more adventures together. And I can understand the reasoning, opening a new fountain isn't bad, I mean, as long as they close it at the end, nobody gets hurt and they have more memories. Where's the harm in that? Right?

As much as Kris obviously wishes to be free of the soul's control, that very soul has helped them make real friends. It's taken them on adventures and well.

Somebody had to let it out before the morning.

So to summarise, the strongest power known to man is a group of lonely teenagers, if you run through a peaceful game murdering everything and then blame a video game character for the decision you made, I'll kick your ass, and I guess I'm a Kris stan now, oh god.

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #kris deltarune #kris dreemurr #The amount of people I've seen jumping on this weird kid and calling them a murder makes me feel... uneasy #Kris sweetie I got your back #and I pray to Toby that he shows mercy and doesn't do you dirty

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guitars-and-kaleidoscope-eyes · 3 years ago

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Queen Band; X Reader; Rock Intern Chapter Eight: Paul's Attack

Here we have it, the first attack of The Snake In Human Form. If you haven't hated him before, you will now.

WARNINGS: Paul Prenter🐍, injuries, hospital, and our good ol' friend, anxiety.😒

July 9th, 1978

Your POV:

So far I really seem to be getting more relaxed here in England. And of course the boys are really helping me feel at home. Freddie's always encouraging me to try more with music, John has basically become the older brother me and Joey always wanted, Brian is, in a way, the second father in my life, and Roger of course is always protective of me and Joey. I swear, he treats us as if we were his own.

So you can only imagine how furious he was when Paul Prenter made an attack against my family. Joey in particular.

July 9th, things are pretty tense in the studio right now. For one, John Reid got fired by Freddie. There's a ton of arguing going on amongst the band. But at least they've hired someone really nice. His name is Jim Beach. (Though Freddie had dubbed him "Miami".) He really seems a lot nicer than John Reid was. He also takes well to Joey and I hanging out in the studio. (Much to Paul's dismay.)

To add to the tension here, they've been under a lot of pressure to get this new album, Jazz, recorded and to set a tour up.

And to top it all off, this heat wave is driving everyone insane! Its on the third week and the highest it's been is 118 fahrenheit!

I'm sitting in the studio sweating up a storm. The studio doesn't have she conditioning everyone is going mad from this.

I came into the room where everyone was warming up there instruments and asked.

"I'm going down the street to get us some drinks, ever she's everyone want?"

Everyone agreed on water so I grabbed my purse and told I'd be back in 15 minutes.

3rd person POV:

While (y/n) was getting the boys water, Joey was watching everyone rehearese.

Apparently everyone else had the same idea because the line for cool drinks was a mile long.

Joey was getting impatient for (y/n) to return, dad wasn't even here because he was trying to help his wife recover the AC at the house, and everyone was busy in the studio. So to amuse himself, he begin playing around with the amps in the other room.

Being only seven years of age, he really didn't think anything was going to happen, but it did. One of the amps feel and the cord snapped.

Joey was frantically trying to fix it before anyone noticed, but it was too late. Paul was lurking in the other room watching the whole time.

"And just what in hell do you think you're doing?!?" He voice stuck intense fear into the young boy's heart.

"M-M Mr. Prenter please, I can explain!" He stamered.

"Messing with the boys stuff, are you? This damn album is already taking to long to record with you and your sister always distracting the boys from there work! They don't need you messing with the equipment as another burden!"

With that, Paul smacked Joey across the face and sent him crashing onto the amp they had broken. That fall was enough force for Joey to feel a rip in his ankle. As tears began pouring down his face, Paul continued yelling.

"You know you're nothing but a pain to them. You and your dumbass of a sister!"

"Don't talk about (y/n) like that!" Joey yelled. "You're a rat!"

At that, Paul was just about to attack Joey again when he felt someone sucker punch him. He turned around to see Roger standing there, furious.

"R-Roger, I wasn't-"

"SILENCE!!! I saw what you were about to do to Joey! And let me tell you, if you ever do anything to Joey or his sister, I will kick your ass through the bloody window!"

At that, Paul ran from the room in the studio he was in, leaving Roger and Joey.

Your POV:

After finally getting the water, I was returning to the studio when it heard Roger yelling.

"If you ever do anything to Joey or his sister, I will kick your ass through the bloody window!"

At that, I ran into the room they the yelling was coming from to find Paul leaving the studio with his tail between his legs. I looked in the studio to see Joey lying on an amp with Roger hovering over him as the other three and Miami come in.

"What happened??" I asked frantically.

Roger explained everything and if it hadn't been for Freddie, I would have darted out of the building and ran after Paul.

We took Brian's car to the hospital and the doctors took Joey away from me to have his ankle looked at.

20 minutes passed and mom and dad came into the hospital and Brian explained as they had happened.

"Parents of Joey (l/n)?" A doctor asked out.

"We're his parents." Mom answered as they both stood up.

"Your son tore his peroneus tertius. It's mild enough that it won't need to be operated on, but it will need to be kept in a badge for 4 to 6 weeks to insure it won't turn into a grade three tear." The doctor explained.

"Can we see him?" Dad asked.

"Of course." The doctor answered. "He's in room 301."

We got up to his room just as the doctor was finishing bandaging up his ankle.

"Oh honey, are you alright? How do you feel?" Mom asked.

"They had to give me a shot!" Joey wined. It was then that I noticed the Scooby Doo bandaid on him.

"Oh Joey, I'm so sorry. But your going to get better soon. I promise." Mom said.

Mom, Dad, and Queen all gathered around Joey all talking to him. But I just stayed in the back corner.

A few weeks later we the two of us were back in the studio as Miami and Dad discussed a few things about the new record. Paul of course managed to stay with Queen. And for some unknown reason, Freddie didn't take hardly any offense to him. I mean, I know he was incredibly mad they he attacked Joey, but he really only yelled at him.

Joey was sitting in my lap, his little crutches sitting next to him. I just stared at him with this soft look in my eyes.

"(n/n), are you ok?" Joey looked up at he and asked.

"Yeah Joey, in fine." I said.

"Hey (y/n)?" Brian, who was just coming out of the recording room, asked.

"Yeah Brian?"

"Can I see you for a minute?"

I picked up Joey so I could get up and put him back down. I followed Brian into a secluded room and gestured for me to sit in one of the seats as he took a seat in the other chair.

"(n/n), I noticed at the hospital that you didn't really want to come up to Joey when we went to see him. May I ask why?" He asked with pure concern in his hazel eyes.

I looked down. "It's... stupid."

"Honey, I know when something is deeply bothering you. If you tell me I might be able to help you. But if you don't... I can't."

I looked down for a while more. Brian was patient with me. Finally I inhailed deeply and started.

"You remember that talk we had when you came over my house a few days after my family and I moved?"

He nodded and I continued.

"Well not only did I want to protect myself, but also my family. When I first saw Paul I knew that he was dangerous. I vowed that I would protect them from Paul. Now I feel like I've failed."

He stared at me for a moment. Almost lost with words. Then started again.

"(y/n), look at me." He said as he lifted my chin up with his thumb and index finger.

"Love, this is not your fault. Ok? Paul was a total jackass for hurting Joey. This was none of your fault. And even if you had been here, he could of hurt you as well."

"If he really, I mean REALLY did more than hurt him," I started. "I don't know what I would do."

Brian then continued. "Well you don't have to worry about that. Because you've got four others to help you. We love you (y/n), and we'll do anything to help you and your family."

"You really mean that?" I asked.

"Of course." He finished.

We both got up and pulled each other into a big hug. I felt him gently rub and pat my back. Being surrounded by the warmth and love of him, and knowing that he truly cared about me, I just purely felt grateful. And I hope that everyone will be able to get this kind of affection.

#affection #fanfiction #queen band #rock music #imagines #x reader

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franniebanana · 3 years ago

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CQL Rewatch - Ep 22

It feels so good to see these two together, talking about old times, and most importantly, not arguing. It's as if this was the conversation that was meant to happen back in Yiling, but it didn't because emotions were too high. I guess it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Wei Wuxian has time to think about and come to the understanding that Lan Wangji isn't fighting him, but instead showing concern. And Lan Wangji gets to hear Wei Wuxian's side of the story, about what he did those three months in the Burial Grounds. It's so refreshing to have this release after so much tension had built up, where the two of them are just open and honest with each other. And you can see how Wei Wuxian's relationship with Lan Wangji is different from his relationship to everyone else. While we get to see him being vulnerable with Jiang Yanli, he won't tell her everything; we see him connecting with Jiang Cheng again, but as is his temperament, Jiang Cheng is often flippant and dismissive, and only really cares that Wei Wuxian is back within the Jiang Clan fold. Lan Wangji really cannot be satisfied until he knows what's been going on; he wants to be reassured that Wei Wuxian is okay in both mind and body, he wants to know that he's not gone to the dark side per se.

And this moment is so pivotal here. Now that they've finally talked and gotten everything out that they've both been ruminating on over the past however long (idk timelines lol), Wei Wuxian is in a place where he can say he'll accept Lan Wangji's help. Wei Wuxian doesn't agree to it begrudgingly, but I think it's a hopeless agreement. Unless you know about his lack of a Golden Core, his response seems odd--maybe you think he's tired, maybe you think he's just doing it to appease Lan Wangji, but is being dishonest. With the knowledge of the transfer, you can see that he is agreeing to appease Lan Wangji, but not in a lazy or dishonest way: he knows that he can never learn the sword again, but he allows Lan Wangji to at least help him with his temperament. I don't think it's him agreeing to get Lan Wangji off his back, I think instead he's letting Lan Wangji know how important he is to Wei Wuxian--he's special.

After Wei Wuxian agrees to letting Lan Wangji help, he walks away smiling. He doesn't let Lan Wangji see it either. I feel that he's indescribably happy that with so many changes in his life, he has his relationship with Lan Wangji back--he has his best friend, he has someone who he can trust. And remember, he's not concerned about his temperament being overwhelmed--Wei Wuxian has always considered himself a prodigy, so while this is challenging, he believes that what he learned from the Gusu Lan Clan is enough. Lan Wangji, on the other hand, is still very concerned, and he devotes all of his free time to figuring out ways to help Wei Wuxian, to steady his mind and temperament.

So, while I'm watching this filler, I'm imagining a terrible scenario they could have done. When you're adapting a book or a play or really anything, it's not uncommon to add scenes, right? CQL has plenty of added scenes for context and padding, plus shit they just made up. Okay, so this would fall into the latter category. Imagine if they had had Lan Wangji get turned into a puppet/Urukai, and then there's some big, dramatic way that Wei Wuxian has to save him and turn him back, and it only brings them closer together as brothers in arms/whatever bs they were trying to sell us without making it romantic. Sounds like a terrible idea, right? Aren't you glad the writers had enough integrity and respect for the novel that they didn't do that? I complain about things that were added or changed as well, but if they had given me an actual explicit acknowledgment of wangxian love, I would have been happy. Of course, censorship is a bitch, so that's a no go. The point of this is that it could have been a lot worse.

Oh, god. Soup drama. Thank you to that person who posted the soup drama in Lan Wangji's POV. You are amazing, and that post always makes me cackle.

Ah, but this is canon to the novel if I remember correctly. It's totally valid and is actually kind of sad for Yanli, but I still think it's hilarious the way Wei Wuxian just takes off like a shot without knowing what's going on. The thing is, Jiang Yanli is just embarrassed about the whole thing and wants to leave, but of course Wei Wuxian wants revenge. He still harbors no love for Jin Zixuan, and any chance he gets to put the peacock in his place, he'll take.

Yanli is tugging on him with both hands, and Wei Wuxian doesn't move. He is just standing there, glaring at Jin Zixuan. There are two people in the world who Wei Wuxian will defend forever: Jiang Yanli and Lan Wangji--and Jin Zixuan has just offended one of them. Wei Wuxian is beyond pissed. And now couple that with how he was trapped in a sunless graveyard for three months, has been doing nothing but fighting since he's been out, and is using his spiritual power in a dangerous and unstable method. His mood, my friends, is not great right now.

I love how Lan Wangji looks inside the tent, and then proceeds to immediately nope out of there. I blame that soup drama post for everything that I see now, because it really does look like he's just thinking, "Ugh, soup drama again." But in all seriousness, I think this is just Lan Wangji feeling awkward again. I think he came out of genuine concern for Jiang Yanli, because remember Wei Wuxian took off without even hearing what was going on, but when he sees that it's clearly a matter between her and Jin Zixuan, he leaves. This isn't his business, and it also involves romance, because of course he remembers how they were betrothed until the fight broke out in Cloud Recesses. Regardless of how Lan Wangji carries himself and how he's so respected as a cultivator, he's still a young man, who still feels awkward about the idea of love and doesn't really want to be around any of it--lovers' quarrels and whatnot.

The other thing is, they don't pan over to Lan Wangji for no reason. Perhaps he's still remembering the conversation he had with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng back in Yiling: this is a Jiang Clan affair. And this time, he's choosing to bow out when he realizes it isn't his business. However, he doesn't want to go far, because he knows how dangerous Wei Wuxian really is, especially if he loses his cool.

Honestly, Jin Zixuan is such a dick here. Every time I think he's made progress, he takes a step backward. Jiang Yanli is the sweetest person, and is just giving him soup every day to provide him with some comfort. We're to understand that she is a good cook and her soup is The Best, so she wants to do something nice for him, perhaps bring him the comfort of home in the place that is farthest from home, and he practically throws it back in her face. It's a total misunderstanding, but my heart breaks for her. And after this moment, Jin Zixuan starts to try harder. I think he finally sees who she is, what kind of person she is, and understands how genuine and loving she has always been. He finally opens his eyes and gets to know her as a person, not as the girl he's engaged to, not as the girl he was engaged to, not as the girl his parents want him to marry--but as the girl who he's interested in.

Not a lot to talk about this episode. I swear, half of it is just fighting. But let's take a moment to appreciate Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji fighting together. I am a sucker for this sort of thing, so I love seeing Lan Wangji swoop in and knock a baddie's sword out of the way to protect Wei Wuxian. It feels good seeing that and seeing them on the same side, fighting together.

Wei Wuxian tried it their way. He tried to fight without using Chenqing, but the fight was impossible. As stated before, the puppets are unkillable, so there was no way to win just by fighting them, and obviously what Nie Mingjue was doing wasn't helping. The only way to survive at this point was to try and control the puppets into working against Wen Ruohan. There's a shot of Lan Wangji before this, where he looks concerned, but I think he even knows that they had no other choice.

This was a short one, sorry! But really, I'm not going to babble about nothing. So much fighting and not a lot of dialogue or other things really happened. We're just getting through major plot points right now to be honest.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | Or just check out the #CQL Rewatch hashtag

#wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #cql #the untamed #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #ep 22 #cql rewatch

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r3b3lgrrrrrrrl · 5 years ago

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A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 87) "XX Marks His Spot"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@crystalbaby12

❗SLAP❗

Colson's firm hand comes down on Luna's bare ass cheek. Holding her rocking hip, he spanks her again in the early morning light.

❗SLAP❗

"Oh SHIIIT, Bunny!!" She cries out as he continues to fuck her.

Colson wraps his fingers in her long blonde hair, pulling her towards him. Sliding his large hand around her throat, he watches the sunbeams illuminate her golden hair. Prisms of light bouncing off her tattooed skin. Slightly tightening his grip, he fucks her harder until they both explode. Colson collapsing on top of Luna after expelling inside of her.

"WE CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!!!" Sam shouts from the other side of the door.

"Then go somewhere FUCKING else!!!" Colson shouts back.

Luna shifts, pushing him off of her as she rolls on to her back. This makes him whine. He likes staying inside of her.

"She's gonna fuck you up for that." Luna tells him as she yawns.

Fingers twisting around the chain of the padlock secured around her neck. Colson scootches over to her, laying his head on her right shoulder. Trying not to stare at her bandage, he looks down. Finding himself tracing the outline of her scorpion and drawing hearts on her toned, tattooed stomach with his index finger.

"I don't give a fuck. I'll fuck you where I want, how I want and make you cum as LOUDLY as I fucking want." He states.

Bringing his mouth to her stomach, he gives her a raspberry. Squealing from the tickle of it, Luna tries to wiggle away. With his grasp on her tight, Luna calls him an Asshole before giving up on the struggle.

"Soon you'll be stuck with This Asshole 'fo liiiiife." Colson grins, lifting his head to kiss her neck.

"Lucky me..." Luna says in a dry tone with a smirk and loving eyes.

"Shut the fuck up." He teases her.

With no one else banging on their door, they stay in bed together. Cuddling, kissing and talking about what they need to do on his day off.

"We should see if we can bribe a maid to clean up this shit hole if Case is coming on tomorrow...." Luna thinks out loud.

They haven't even been on tour for a month and The Bus looks like a crime scene. Even with three females on it, the now seven men do more than outnumber them. Neither of the women are interested in cleaning up after anyone but themselves either. Making The Bus a hazard zone, with even Luna knowing it's not kid friendly.

"What? Like on here alone?" Colson asks with raised eyebrows.

"Noooo. Like I'll sit here if I have to but shit needs to be cleaned, sheets washed. This place is fucking gross." She answers with another yawn.

"Ash never complained." Colson counters her.

"Yeah. Out loud." Luna turns to look at him.

They're tangled in each other under the blanket. Sharing a joint. Arguing semantics as usual. Colson and Luna both have strong personalities and opinions. Rarely holding back from each other.

"Fine..." He rolls his sky blue eyes into his head as he hits the joint.

Luna opening all the windows before they head off The Bus to check in. They're spending the night in Kansas City.

-------------------------------------------------

Luna admires the 1920s neoclassic architecture of The Ambassador Hotel as Colson checks them into their suite. Luna popping up beside him to ask about Maid Service.

Neither bother to unpack, they'll be gone by tomorrow night. Colson lighting another joint as soon as they walk through the door.

Luna starts the shower as Colson crushes and lines up their individual pills to start their day. Three 30s for Luna. Three 30XRs for Colson.

Stripping off their clothes, they climb into the hot shower. Water cascading around them as the different drugs swirl through their brains.

Colson lifts Luna up by the ribs, wrapping her wet, naked body around his. Letting the warmth wash over her as he fucks her against the shower wall.

Mouths and tongues sucking the water off each other's necks and shoulders. Her hands roaming his body, nails dragging, fingers pulling at his hair. Colson grips Luna's thick ass, thrusting hard into her as they both cum.

It's a skill they've mastered.... Or so he thinks. Luna usually having two or three small explosions before their Big Bang. His dick is HUGE.... Annnd he definitely knows how to use it.

-------------------------------------------------

Once dressed and settled within themselves, everyone reconvenes in Colson and Luna's suit. It's larger than the others, the ten of them having more than enough room to hang out and do whatever they'd like. It is their day off after all.

Rook and AJ set up the PS4 for a Call of Duty marathon with Benny and Bullet. Slim and Baze pull out a mini soundboard. Setting up their laptops alongside them. They have new music they're working on. While Ashleigh, Luna and Sam set up shop for Colson.

The sounds of Oasis float through the air. Wrapped in weed smoke and conversation.

Sitting around a table, they have a system. With a black Sharpie, Colson signs the top right corner of the white Hotel Diablo hoodies him and Ashleigh chose.

Passing them to Luna, who places the correct card inside while boxing it. Writing the initials on the top corner of the outside of the box, she slides it to Ashleigh.

Double checking the initials with the mailing lable, she then slips the package inside it's wrapping. Slapping the addressed sticker on it, she pushes it down the line.

Sam is last. Sealing the packages, double checking the names off on her own list and stacking them by the door to be picked up and shipped.

They have a very efficient system. Keeping Colson's hands full of joints, fresh Sharpies and hoodies, the four of them bang out 82 personally addressed packages. All handled with love in a surprising two hours.

Sighing, Colson leans back in his chair. Lacing his fingers together, he stretches them and his arms out in front of his long body.

"You did it, Sugar." Luna leans over to kiss his tired cheek.

They call each other Whatever after the other night.

"Can you imagine how surprised they're gonna be when they receive these?" She beams.

"God, I love that fucking smile." Colson thinks as he studies Luna's face. Genuinely touched by how she cares for every member of his family. From Casie to those who's names he doesn't know personally.

"I couldn't have done it with out you." He says, leaning towards her to nuzzle and kiss her neck. "Thanks for the idea."

Lifting up, he looks at Sam and Ashleigh. "And a HUGE THANK YOU to you two Boss Ass Bitches. You know I spin because of you, Ash." He smiles over Luna's head to one of his bestfriends, his ONLY sister. "And Sam, I'm really glad you're here with us. You fit right in with The Fam." He grins at her.

The Girls find Colson's words sweet but he's dealing with two major Assholes.

"Awwwww.... My little Baby Booo..." Luna teases him.

"Yeah, I'd fit in a lot better if I didn't have to listen to you two fucking." Sam deadpans with a smile.

Ashleigh is the sweet one. Rising from her seat between Luna and Sam, she hugs Colson from behind.

"I love you, Kells. I know this is hard but you did good. Never have I ever doubted you for a second." She says, kissing his cheek. "Well, maybe a second or two." She laughs.

A smile plays on Luna's lips as she watches them. "I'm so glad he has her.... I really don't know..." Luna's thoughts are interrupted by a bang on the door.

It's Kevin. Colson's Tattoo Guy.

-------------------------------------------------

Setting up his gear, Kevin comments that it's nice to see Luna again. Asking how their punk bunny tattoos are holding up, they both show him his work with pride.

Sliding his arm around Luna's waist, Colson grins with glee.

"And you'll never guess, Dawg..." He starts.

"You two are getten' hitched?" Kevin looks up from the area he's sterilizing.

Feeling slightly deflated, Colson asks how He Knows.

"Homie. I knew the two of you were destined for each other that day in The Shop." He states to anyone in ear shots agreement.

Luna grins. Finding his prediction to be heart warming. A slight solidification to what she's always known. If you will.

"Alright.... Fix that shit up!!" Kevin says regarding Colson's hair.

Just then their hotel room phone rings. Luna answering it.

"Yes, I did. Thank you.... Mhmm.... Yes... I'll be down in ten. Thank you again." Luna ends the phone call.

"Who dat?" Colson asks her.

"We got a maid for The Bus...." Luna tells him.

"You what?" Ashleigh asks, in amazement.

"Yeah, Man. It's fucking disgusting. Case can't come into that nonsense..." Luna answers her.

Somehow Ashleigh loves Luna even more at this moment.

"So you're kinda free right now?" Sam perks up to Luna's shrug. "Wanna audition Mikey for Ellen?" She asks, reminding Luna of her need for a bassist.

"Yeah, that'd be perfect." Luna reels back at the easy connection.

"Mind if I come?" Ashleigh nods towards The Boys.

"Bring yo ass, Bitch!!" Luna grins to Ashleigh's cheesing smile.

Luna let's her just BE. Just be Ashleigh. Not a Momager to The Boys. Not a scary real life mom to Ashton. Not a wife. Just Ashleigh. Free. Loose of responsibility. Even if it is just for a moment.

"Imma check this bassist out while The Bus gets cleaned." Luna kisses Colson.

Taking a step back to look at him. He's in the middle of getting a patch shaved off in the back of his head. Running her fingers through her hair, down the back of her skull she touches her own ink. Smiling to herself. They're so much alike but completely fucking different.

"Love you, Kitten. Good luck." He says after their kiss.

Bending his head down so Rook can finish his cut.

"YO!!! You gonna catch one too, right!?!" Slim hollers out.

The Girls turn back. Looking at him inquisitively, not knowing of what he's speaking upon.

"That Fam XX." He dares Luna.

"Sure. But I want my own." She states with a smirks.

Taking a minute to search on her phone. Finding what see wants, she shows Kevin.

"Yeah, no problem... I'll pop it on when you guys get back." He tells her.

Luna smiles at Kevin as she thanks him. He's a really easy going guy. Throwing another I'm Outta Here over her shoulder, she closes the door behind herself, Ashleigh and Sam.

"What the fuck's another one?" Luna rolls her eyes to herself. Although covered in tattoos, they're all special. With their own indication, memory or statement. Luna having no ink that doesn't either tell a personal story or touch her soul. This one following the same code. "Fuck.... It'll be, what? My fourth in less then two months... Third I've gotten with him." She smiles to herself, remembering the day they had fucked in his Rover after their Bunnies. His reaction still making her cheese. "I fucking love him.... I'm actually going to marry him..." Luna's brain topples upon it's self. The whole idea of solidifying one's love through the government being ridiculous to her before. Now.... Now, she oddly wants them tied together in a way she never needed. Luna wants Colson on her name. Documented in history that HE is her husband. "I won't lose him...." She thinks in a heart wrenching way. Like most do when they've seen the edge of the fucking world.

Brain bursting as she silently rides the elevator down with a talkative Sam and Ashleigh.

"I like that they like each other..." Luna smiles to herself as the random positive thought dips inside of her dark head.

--------------------------------------------------

"AAahhhh... Mmm..... Yeeahhhh!!!"

Those are the sounds coming out of Colson's mouth as Kevin tattoos the back of his head.

"Get it Motherfucker!" Colson shouts.

"Shut the fuck up, Ken Keniff!" Kevin fires back, trying to keep Colson's head still.

--------------------------------------------------

"Hi! I'm Luna. This is Ashleigh and Sam." Luna greets a brunette named Michelle at the desk with her signature smile.

The four girls exchange pleasantries on their way to The Bus. The other three helping with Michelle's supplies.

"I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind....." Luna trails off.

"No!!! It's no problem!! I actually love you and Kells. Bad Things is like, my favorite song right now! I even have tickets to the show tomorrow night!" Michelle exclaims happily.

"No shit!!" Sam cuts in, nudging Luna with a teasing grin.

"Yeah, I fangirled out a minute when I realized who you guys are." She says a little sheepishly to Luna's equal embarrassment.

Luna and Ashleigh glance at each other. Both almost positive they're thinking the same thing.

Michelle gets to work, pulling their linens first as Ashleigh, Luna and Sam gather on one couch in the front of The Bus. Sam setting up Skype with her friend Mikey.

"Damn, I wasn't expecting three pretty ladies..." He teases with a gleaming smile.

Sam laughs at him to Shut Up, introducing Luna and Ashleigh. All saying Hello.

"You get the tracks I sent you?" Sam asks.

"Yeup!" Mikey responds.

He moves his laptop so that he can step back and be fully seen. He's tall and skinny like Colson but has dark features. With the bass across his body, he hits play on the rough track with only Luna singing, drums and guitar begins. Mikey dropping his notes in with the opening chords just as Luna had imagined he should. He's incredible. They listen to his first run. Ashleigh nodding her head to it's roar and strong feminist message. It's the first time she's heard it, feeling hints off their night in Chicago popping through.

"What do you think of the lyrics?" Is one of the first questions Luna asks Mikey before adding "You comfortable backing them as a dude on Daytime TV?"

"Fuck yeah." He replies without hesitation. "There's nothing like this out there right now and it's needed. Plus.... Honestly, it'd be an honor to work with That Brooklyn Bitch."

Luna blushes. Sometimes her heritage and reputation truly embarrass her. Thinking of the song, she asks him to run through it again. Luna singing lowly with him and the track for a better feel.

Once he finishes, Luna looks at Sam giving her a nod. Asking Ashleigh's opinion, she loves the idea of it and wait to hear it completed.

Mikey bullshits with The Girls a bit more. Locking in solid plans to meet early before the show to rehearse and feel their actual energy together. All agreeing to continue practicing. With the chords being simple, none of them are really concerned. All in all it's a productive hour long conversation. Switching from the front to the back of The Bus as Michelle continued cleaning.

Satisfied, Luna steps off The Bus to smoke a cigarette. Ashleigh and Sam behind her.

"How you know him?" Luna turns, asking Sam about her potentially new bassist.

Remember that band Imposters I played with?" Sam asks as she takes a drag. "He was in that."

Thinking back, Luna agrees Yup. She remembers. Liked their vibe too.

"What happened to them?" She asks.

"Lead singer got the guitarist pregnant." Sam shrugs.

"Bummer...." Luna thinks to herself. The idea of getting knocked up turns her stomach as she smokes her cigarette.

"Yo..." Luna says turning to Ashleigh as she leans against The Bus. "You think we can cut Michelle a hoodie? Box it up and leave it at the front desk before we check out?"

Ashleigh laughs. Realizing both had the same idea at the same time.

"Right there with you, Loons." She continues to laugh. "I think you should both sign it though." Giving her opinion.

Luna nods in agreement as Michelle comes walking towards them, across the parking lot with their sheets. Heading back on the The Bus to finish up.

Staying outside for another few minutes while Luna and Sam chain smokes. The Girls talk about Mikey, Ellen and Colson's show tomorrow.

Touching base on Casie coming on The Bus. Luna and Ashleigh agreeing tonight The Boys need to let loose. Getting Whatever out of their systems so shit calms down while she's with them. Ashleigh can't help but hug Luna.

"I'm so glad you're here. Things are so different. There's less randos, Kells is so much chiller. I feel like you have my back on shit I was alone with before... It's just easier." She sighs as Luna squeezes her back.

Colson is a maniac and there are very few with can tell him what do to do, if anyone. Tours before this included much more vandalism, obnoxious antics and tons of random sex.

"No doubt." Luna assures Ashleigh from inside their hug.

"All finished." Michelle pops off with her supplies.

The three girls thanking the young employee. Luna slipping her a $100 tip, telling her she hopes she enjoys the show.

"Ugh!!! You're a genius!!" Ashleigh exclaims.

Arms wide, she inhales the fresh scent of clean as soon as they walk back on to The Bus.

Laughing, they collect their things before heading back into the Ambassador to meet up with The Boys.

-------------------------------------------------

"Check it out!!" Colson comes bouncing up to Luna, fingers pointing at his new ink.

"Stand still." She instructs.

Grabbing her camera. She shoots the back of his head. After taking his picture, she studies his lines. They're incredible clean.

"It's perfect." She says, after admiring Kevin's work.

Pulling Colson in for a hug. She asks him how it felt as she rests her head on his chest.

"Yo, I'm not gonna lie. That shit fucking hurt." Colson whines into the top of her head.

"Told you. Like your brain was gonna jitter out of your ears?" She laughs against his chest.

Luna's mentioned the specific pain of a skull tattoo before. This is the first time Colson catches it. Pulling her away slightly, he gives her a cocked eye and furrowed eyebrows.

"That's exactly how it felt... How'd you know that?" He asks her, puzzled.

Luna takes his one hand and places it on the back on her skull. Setting it upon her tattoo.

"Feel right there? I have one for my mom." She explains.

"You lyen'." He teases her. "Lemme see."

"Okay." She shrugs with her arms still around his waist. "Remind me when we're alone. I don't like people knowing I have it..." She trails off.

Luna looks into Colson's eyes with One Look. Nodding, he pulls her back into him. Placing his chin back on top of her head.

It's not rare to catch Luna and Colson simply standing together in a hug. They do it often. Sometimes it's the only thing that quiets the madness surrounding them.

"You ready, Luna?" Kevin's voice invades their private eutopia.

Squeezing him tight. Luna tippy toes to kiss Colson. Throwing her long blonde hair in a top knot, she grabs a seat.

It's a small, slightly detailed piece. Taking maybe a 45mins once Kevin sets the stencil. Choosing a version of the cards they had sent to his fans, Luna gets the XX with a single rose. Behind her right ear. Sitting in the same spot as Colson's.

Kissing her cheek, Colson asks if she likes it. One Look and her beautiful smile tell him Absolutely. There's a special comfort in being able to talk to someone without words. Luna and Colson knowing they're lucky to have that.

The Boys come over to check it out before Kevin wraps it. Slim giving Luna his nod of approval.

"Still better than a stupid name." Luna smirks, sticking her tongue out at Slim.

Teasing him over his comment a few weeks ago regarding the couple's penchant for marking themselves for each other.

"Fucking LunaTic." Slim rolls his eyes and shakes his head at her with a light chuckle.

-------------------------------------------------

With both new pieces being protected. Music, smoke and loud conversation fill the large suit. There's so many of them now.

There's The Original Eight plus Sam and Bullet. Kevin's there with a few Roadies and some random girls finding their way also. Alcohol flowing since Kevin first knocked on their hotel door.

Perched on the arm of the couch, Luna's feet are tucked under Colson's thighs. Sharing a joint, she asks him If This'll Change for Her, referring to the atmosphere and Casie.

Resting his arms on her knees, he takes a moment before he speaks.

"Kinda but not really.... You know I don't smoke in front of her and how she kicks it wit me and The Guys so that won't be different... BackStage won't be as crazy but we still gonna ride. It's like anywhere else. I don't hide who I am from my daughter, Loons, but I do wait until she's in bed to turn all the way the fuck up." Colson waits for her reaction.

Luna doesn't have kids so she has no basis in parenting. Only her uneducated, personal opinions. Still, there's something that makes her nervous for Casie to come on tour. She just can't put her finger on it.

"Sooooooo, party our fucking faces off tonight and tone it down while she's with us?" Luna asks.

Colson pulls on her chin to kiss her with a YUP. His sweet lips and words slightly relieve her worries.

"What are we doing tonight guys??" Luna turns, asking Their Crew.

Her words reminding Ashleigh of Michelle. Taking a moment, she leaves the room. Collecting the items for the fan's gift.

Everyone else is throwing out ideas as Ashleigh hands Luna a hoodie, card, Sharpie and packaging. She grins a Thank You.

With a small personal note and a quick explanation to a distracted but inquisitive Colson, Luna uses her knees as a table. Preparing the gift with care and his help as they rejoin the conversation. He doesn't know what he wants to do tonight as she passes it to Ashleigh when she finishes.

Slim wants to know if there's a strip club or gambling. AJ agrees. Baze wants to eat. All agreeing that's a necessity. Rook wants to get fucked up and skate. Ashleigh wants to check out Kansas City's Light District while Sam has been DYING to get into the large jar in The Bus's freezer.

"Let's do it all then." Luna interrupts them. We'll eat first. Grab slushies for dessert. Board over to The Light District for a few drinks... We'll probably be able to find out where the good gambling/stripping is from the locals and then head from there....." Luna throws out with a shrug.

Everyone in the room looks around at each other. Heads slowly begin to nod as the idea of the plan formulates. Devilish grins spreading across their faces.

Rook comes up from behind Luna.

"MAYHEM!!!!!" He shakes her to everyone's laughter.

Catching a nervous Ashleigh's eye, Luna points at her from across the room. Holding her finger in place while never breaking eye contact, she mouths her the words I Got You. A look of relief playing on Ashleigh's face as they smile at each other.

Benny looks at Bullet with an Are You Ready look. Bullet's been with Kells for a long time. Seen and handled a lot of shit with The Band. Yet, he hasn't had the experience of going out with a LunaTic and Her Gunn.

Deciding Yes, tonight will be a See All, Free For All. Rolling hard through Kansas City.

Agreeing to meet in the hotel bar, they split up for their own rooms to get showered and dressed for the night. Finally leaving Colson and Luna alone.

--------------------------------------------------

Finding two shower caps for tattoo protection, Luna stands on the lid of the toilet, trying to put one on Colson. Her giggles tickling his ears from behind as they both stand shirtless.

After she hops down and is playing with her own, he suddenly remembers what she said earlier.

"Show me that tat." He requests.

Flipping her head over, she warns him to be careful of the new ink. It takes careful moments for him to fully make out what it is under her mass of hair.

"WARD?" He asks, only knowing Luna's mom died.

Lighting a joint, Luna hops up on the double sink. Patting the open space beside her for him to join.

Sitting together getting high, Luna tells Colson the story of the Life and Death Of Lizard Ward. Choosing to omit one KEY detail. Tonight's not the night for that. She hadn't even intended on tell him about her mother tonight, only choosing to because it blossomed organically.

"Yo. You come from some HARD ass bitches." Colson stares at Luna in awe.

Inhaling the last bit of their joint. She shrugs with a smirk before putting it out.

"Come on." She hops down, placing herself between his legs. "We gotta get ready." She says, pecking his lips.

Colson grips her nipple peircings, with his index finger and thumb. Pulling her in hard for a deep, sloppy kiss. Igniting a hungry fire inside both of them.

Careful of their heads and her gunshot wound, Colson lifts Luna up around his waist. Slowly sliding his huge cock into her tight, wet pussy as she moans for him.

"There's my dirty girl." He husks happily into her ear.

Gripping his shoulders and back as he thrusts himself into her bucking hips. Luna closes her eyes as they pound it out in the shower. Feeling herself about to explode, she wants to grab his hair. Frustrated, she bites down into his neck. Her moans vibrating his throat as she bites down harder, feeling her walls clench in orgasmic pleasure.

"FUUUUUUCK!!!" Colson shouts as he cums inside of her.

"Seems a little bit of pain, makes it feel really good sometimes....."

---------------------------------------------------

To be continued....

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Ava & Nancy

Ava: Has he told you? Nancy: Yeah Ava: How are you holding up? Nancy: better than he is Ava: Not saying much but Ava: that's something Nancy: how are you holding up then? Ava: It's been, a rollercoaster implies that it's in any way on the rails so not that, something as up and down and side to side Ava: tornado, perhaps Ava: but it's far from about me so I'm just here, you know Nancy: I know what you mean Ava: It's more to do with you than me Ava: so, what did he say exactly? Nancy: You know what he's like, just coming out with it Nancy: there's nothing for me to argue with Nancy: maybe if I had a clue then but now Ava: Yeah Ava: but none of us did Ava: I think mum was probably right, even if that's fucked Ava: taking it to the police wouldn't have done anything Nancy: She'd had talked her way out of it, his word against hers and he doesn't come across well when he's upset Ava: Exactly Ava: it's one of those legal grey areas Ava: morally black but you know Ava: can't get charged for that Nancy: I feel like shit, if I hadn't left it wouldn't have been her and none of this would be happening Ava: I know, but you have to try not to think like that Ava: she picked him, really Ava: he was angry and upset, with you, yeah, but Rio too and you know, everyone and everything Ava: but I don't think he would have pursued her, if he were in any state Ava: and she had her problems with you, but I don't think that's solely why she did it either Nancy: I know but he could've used any girl in Chelsea to get back at Rio, it was her because of me, that's all my thoughts keep coming back to Nancy: and no other girl would've used him like that for any reason Ava: We all let each other down Ava: sometimes you have to do what you have to do Ava: and then sometimes bad shit happens because of that Ava: Chloe wouldn't have felt the need to drop this if I weren't with James Ava: we could all just keep on not knowing Nancy: It's not your fault, Av, she hated you cos she hated me first Nancy: it's not like she's heartbroken over James Ava: Still, it wouldn't have happened, you were never going to be dating him Ava: but none of us can live beholden to her and the things she has over us, we shouldn't Ava: at least now, we aren't, she's played all her cards Nancy: Did Buster tell you she's already engaged? Ava: I heard Ava: I looked on Gen's profile and he's like her dad's age Ava: and really stereotypically Italian Nancy: Gross Nancy: I swear to god, she's not a real person Nancy: who does any of this? Ava: I think she does her hardest not to be Ava: fuck everyone else Ava: her parents are just Ava: at a total loss Ava: we say ours are ashamed of us but this is so real Ava: they've had more to do with James than her for years now Nancy: At least he's got their support Ava: I think they're just as scared that they'll lose contact as he is Nancy: Yeah, of course Ava: Did he say if he'd told Ri yet? Nancy: I asked, when I was at my angriest, before I really understood what the circumstances were Nancy: He wouldn't talk about her which either means he has and it didn't go well, or he's still working up to it Ava: She's going to know something is wrong, he can't hide anything from her Ava: and the test takes as long as it takes, I know he was waiting for that but I don't know how Nancy: Right now, I'm selfishly glad that she knows we barely talk so she won't ask me Ava: That's going to be Ava: not fun Ava: never mind how pregnant she is Nancy: Oh god, don't Nancy: I was going to come back for a while but maybe that'll make it worse Nancy: Like he'll think I'm just there to oversee his downfall or something Ava: You don't think that will happen, do you? Nancy: I don't think she'll leave him Nancy: But the old wounds this is gonna open up, even though nobody's disputing he didn't actually consent, when they're still dealing with everything that happened with Venus Nancy: add her hormones in and his way of reacting to literally anything Ava: Fucking hell Ava: you should come back, if you want to though Ava: regardless Nancy: Ri might need me Nancy: not that she'll admit it, obviously Ava: 'course Ava: I don't think it would hurt Nancy: I'm a crap babysitter but I'm a great person to vent at about him so Nancy: if I slag him off enough she'll start leaping to his defence automatically Ava: An evil-good plan Nancy: something good needs to come out of all the evil Ava: We can but try Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I know I need to Ava: Does feel better than doing nothing Ava: only a bit but Ava: still Nancy: I wish there was more I could really do, but it all just feels too late Nancy: inventing a time machine feels very above my capabilities, if I'm honest Nancy: Feel free to tell James I'm here if he ever wants someone to talk to about his monster of an ex Ava: I will Ava: you might have to open a hotline, by the sounds of it Nancy: That'd be a decent earner while I'm back Ava: Time is money, like Nancy: exactly Ava: Wonder what the wedding will be like Nancy: what I remember hearing about hers and James' sounded awful Nancy: but of course this one will have to be more stereotypically Italian Ava: fucked herself on flower girls too Nancy: unless he's got a big family she can insert herself into Ava: Heaven help him Ava: or she's already knocked up, the only way she does it is with a gun to her head and the groom's Nancy: has anyone checked he can speak enough English to know what's going on, like? Ava: I don't know if we've got the welfare team on that Ava: he looks pretty pleased with himself Ava: the pictures would really confirm your homosexuality for you tbh Nancy: Well that's disgusting Ava: If he was the teenaged pool boy, be all over that, obviously Ava: can only hope she's met her match this time Nancy: Even if she hasn't, like you said, there's no more she can do to any of us Nancy: And she'd never get the kids back if she wanted to try that as a last resort Ava: Not putting anything past her obviously Ava: but yeah, I can't see her trying and failing at that any time soon Ava: it's a small mercy Ava: she was no mother Nancy: Imagine having her as yours, oh my god Nancy: it makes me wanna hug mum Ava: Let's not get too crazy Nancy: the urge will have passed by mid-flight, don't worry Ava: Unless you have too many complementaries, of course Nancy: well yeah Ava: No one would blame you on that score Nancy: it doesn't help though Ava: The drink or the lack of blame? Nancy: Both Ava: Yeah Ava: not much in the party mood myself Ava: pity or otherwise Ava: though being forced to 'focus on my schoolwork' like that's remotely important right now is getting me close Nancy: Is there a brochure for the planet mum and dad live on cos I'm really intrigued by it? Ava: They really think they can keep me out of it Ava: Like I'm not the one who did the DNA test, like I'm not the one who got James and Buster to talk Ava: sure, I'll forget about that and write my politics essay, hold on 🙄 Nancy: I'll do your essay as long as you leave enough time for a thorough spell check Ava: You really wanna keep busy, yeah Nancy: Yeah Ava: You are allowed to be angry with him Ava: you know Ava: because he was a victim too doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel that Ava: even if it means you don't direct it at him, you don't have to try and repress it Nancy: I am angry at him, but I'm also so tired of being Ava: Damn genetics Nancy: He can't forgive me for going and I can't keep defending why I had to Nancy: cos he'll never accept that it's not entirely my fault, that I needed him to help me and he wouldn't Ava: He does though Ava: he's told me Ava: like you said, it's too late Nancy: He'll never tell me, so we'll only ever talk when he has good or bad news to give me Ava: Yeah Ava: it's because it doesn't change it Ava: like you said, no time machine Ava: getting him to admit that he wasn't there doesn't change that he wasn't, even if you want to hear it Ava: just like you explaining why you had to leave doesn't mean you stayed Ava: it's all just words, you know Nancy: Then how can we ever? Ava: Maybe you can't Ava: because that isn't a truce Ava: if neither of you is willing to leave your post there is no middle ground Ava: you actually have to be ready and willing to drop defending yourself and blaming each other Ava: and neither of you is, so Ava: that's that Ava: you can't make yourself give it up, clearly Nancy: It's so unfair Nancy: that everything turned out like this Ava: It just is Ava: you have to get to a place where you can just say that's what happened Ava: not attribute why's and who's to it, see it entirely objectively Nancy: maybe if I fly to Tuscany first and murder her Ava: Maybe Ava: you'll still hate yourself though Nancy: Thanks for the reminder Ava: Like you forgot Nancy: my phone alarm is set for hourly bursts of self-loathing, of course Ava: That'll be why you're tired Ava: can't even put that on him, eh Ava: unlucky, like Nancy: I'll have the luck of the Irish and all that good craic to fall back on soon enough, like Ava: 'Course Ava: be a blast Nancy: It always is Ava: It's been a while Ava: things might have changed Nancy: This family would have to catch some kind of break first Ava: Naturally, when I finish this essay, it'll all be worth it Nancy: Just make sure it's worth sticking on the fridge Ava: 'Cos that wouldn't fuck with the aesthetics Nancy: It's no finger-painting, sure Nancy: But if anyone needs the reminder that you're not a toddler it's mum and dad Ava: Really surprising they're not more elated to gain a ready-made grandkid Nancy: If the mother was anyone else, they'd be jumping for joy, no doubt Ava: Unless that mother was me Ava: of course Nancy: James has probably been well and truly scared off Ava: I reckon she's a pretty strong contraceptive Nancy: I'm in no danger but if you put me in a room with her I'd take the pill Ava: 💀 cyanide Nancy: or whichever colour gets you out of the Matrix Nancy: bye babe Ava: Careful Ava: that's what 'woke' lady and minority haters call themselves Ava: don't wanna get in that camp Nancy: is it? Ava: yeah, they're 'red pilled' 'cos they know 'the truth' Ava: the truth that feminism is a lie and all women are evil bitches, like Nancy: Oh great Ava: You accidentally been making loads of enemies over there? Ava: Whoopsie Nancy: I'll say that's the reason now Ava: Go the whole hog and call yourself an incel Ava: when any of the fam asks you how your love life is going Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Don't make me laugh though, my head is killing me Ava: I feel you Ava: the only pills I've been popping are paracetamols Nancy: Nurofen express 💚 Nancy: my actual true love Ava: so rock and roll Ava: shame even by American standards, that's no bitch's name Nancy: Read it in your best impression of the accent if you wanna swoon though, obviously Ava: It clearly does it for you, like Nancy: It's a very diverse place, thank god Ava: Sure babe Ava: the fashion industry is known for it 😏 Nancy: 🙄 Ava: Thanks for not trying to deny it Nancy: I'm not their spokesperson, pros or cons Ava: Not part of the job description of photographer or girlfriend then? Nancy: No Ava: Phew Nancy: Find a way to include it in your Politics essay Ava: Alright, mother Nancy: Never call me that again, please Nancy: if I didn't have a headache before Ava: Yeah, we didn't reckon you'd be next Nancy: Weird that you've discussed it, but okay Ava: The heat needs to be taken off somewhere, like Ava: What about Billie and her fella, do you reckon they'll go for 👶👶? Nancy: No Nancy: they barely see each other at the moment Ava: I won't put my money there then Nancy: You'd be better off keeping it on Buster Ava: I think he's disqualified by default Ava: obviously Ava: don't need no 🔮 Nancy: This one better not be born early cos of the drama Ava: She's getting out of the danger danger zone at least but still Ava: having babies is like what they were born to do Ava: missed those genetics, clearly Nancy: Lord Ava: 😂 You're so squeamish Nancy: I don't like babies, excuse me Ava: I didn't mention anything about the miracle of childbirth even Nancy: thankfully Nancy: cos it's not a miracle, it's a 🤞 & pray for the best kind of situation Nancy: you might tear open or get cut open and you get off lightly if you only 💩 or 🤢 everywhere Ava: 🙄🙄 the dramatics Ava: I've had worse nights out Ava: and I didn't get a cute kid at the end of it so 🤷 Nancy: it's not me that you need to convince so Ava: I don't think I know anyone else so definitely anti-child Nancy: I've got nothing against children, I just don't want any Ava: uhuh Nancy: It's only considered weird cos this family is so obsessed with having as many as possible Ava: Nah, it's not that Nancy: Like I said, reserve the soapbox for someone who wants to hear the pros and cons Ava: Okay Nancy: Okay, I've got loads to finish up before I can leave Ava: 'course you do Ava: I'll let you go then Nancy: I'll talk to you soon Nancy: without time zones to factor in Ava: Cool Ava: no worries Nancy: Let me know if you wanna meet up, who knows where mum and dad will decide to base themselves and when Ava: Regardless, I don't have time to come over there so I won't Nancy: Yeah, exactly Ava: Focus on what you need to do Ava: I was just checking you were okay Nancy: And I wanna check in on you too, so let me know, okay? Nancy: It's the shortest flight ever Ava: Seriously, there's no need Nancy: Alright Ava: Just focus on helping Ri, if that's what you're going to do Nancy: I'll do my best Ava: 👍 Nancy: Later then Ava: Bye Nancy: 🧡 Ava: Is Billie coming over too? Nancy: I don't know Nancy: I'll ask her when she gets home Ava: She should Nancy: I'll do my best with that too Ava: Alright Ava: that's all then Nancy: Okay, bye

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09yards · 5 years ago

Text

8 - When You’re Gone (days gone by - nct)

All the mystery and the magic You light up what once was tragic And I know that I will miss you when you're gone I could never have imagined All the heavens pour with passion But I know that I will miss you when you're gone

Johnny had been right about one thing tonight; it was indeed a family affair. What felt like just about everyone Mark was close to, was dispersed throughout Yuta's house. The parents had all congregated in the kitchen, about five too many bottles of wine left empty on the side for the number of people - the chatter and laughter rang in Mark's ears.

God, he hated being drunk. The smallest of sounds seemed to echo in his ears but at the same time it felt like he was hearing things underwater, his head was spinning and he was about six too many drinks in and he'd barely been there two hours. The air around him feels thick, muggy from too many people being crowded into the various rooms.

Jisung had somehow managed to get out of the whole ordeal, arguing with their mum about how it would be inappropriate for someone who is (even more so than the others) underage to be surrounded by drunk people and the possibility of him therefore partaking in said underage drinking would be increased and that's not good for his health. Johnny had called him a pussy under his breath and had promptly earned a slap to his stomach from their mum and a stern "watch your language John" who then turned to Jisung (whose face was now adorning the slight pout and puppy dog eyed look - aka how to get their mum to do whatever they wanted look), her face relaxing into a gentle smile before kissing the top of his head (on her tiptoes which made her pout) and telling him to rest well and not stay up too late studying or engrossed in whatever novel he was currently working his way through. Mark stuck his tongue out on the way out the door - the kid could get away with everything, he and Johnny had dubbed it the youngest child effect. Johnny was pretty upset that he'd wasted good chocolate milk and now Yuta was going to get to drink it.

Mark had been dancing around since he'd first arrived, back and forth between rooms in hopes of avoiding Donghyuck. Honestly, he wasn't entirely sure why he felt the need to avoid him, the younger was probably doing the exact same thing though since the lack of communication between the two since way back to Mark's birthday. Mark had spent some time pining and was okay about the whole situation now (as okay as he could be on the surface anyhow). Mark had been so busy with school - even with only being a month and a half in - he'd been spending lunches in the library, study periods with his tutor to talk about his personal statement and what felt like every second of his free time was spent pouring over his textbooks, homework and whatever else he could get his hands on. The only breath of fresh air was when he finally submitted his uni applications, nudging the whole ordeal to the back of his mind rather than playing the waiting game to see if he'd get accepted or not. He'd drifted apart from everyone in a sense but with Donghyuck it was weird. When he passed the others in the hallways, they'd spare a second to flash a smile or give a quick wave, things were normal, but with Donghyuck it felt like he purposefully averted his eyes every time, maybe Mark's mind was playing tricks on him, maybe it wasn't.

Renjun had ranted to him over facetime at three am one night about how Donghyuck seemed to squash any and all rumours quite quickly about whether or not he was gay, Heejin and him had made up somehow apparently and Renjun had seen the two of them spending time together - what for, Mark didn't know, nor did he want to. Renjun had said it was probably some sort of ploy due to Hyuck's parents. They all knew the story and they weren't the worst, but when Hyuck's older brother, Taeyong, had come out they just seemed to ignore it - they pretended like it hadn't happened and they never brought up dating around Taeyong ever again until Taeyong had gotten quite sick of it and had decided to bring his boyfriend (although he hadn't introduced him as his boyfriend, it was quite clear by the two's body language that Taeil very much was) to their annual family Christmas party. Not his proudest moment he has admitted on multiple occasions but, to Mark and the others it was quite the scandal, particularly as lovely as Donghyuck's parents were, they just seemed to not realise the number of people around them that were gay, much to the amusement of the majority of their friends. Just about everyone was gay, bisexual or pan between Mark and Johnny's friends, as well as a copious amount of people attending their school alone were part of the LGBTQ+ community and openly expressed their support of it and how the Lee's were yet to realise it no one would ever know, as well as how they've managed to live in their surprisingly accepting small town where political and social 'issues' weren't taboo. Taeyong had moved out the moment he was accepted into uni and promised that he wouldn't end their relationship for the sake of Hyuck, even if it meant the only time he spoke to his parents these days was when 'required' to at family events and the occasional birthday phone call. Mark and Donghyuck had grown distant over the last two months and Mark couldn't help but feel like it was to do with the rumours. Mark knew Donghyuck's parents wouldn't be happy about him being gay, if he was (Mark was still confused as to whether or not he'd come out to him that day) they would just pretend like it wasn't happening, make up a girl that he was supposedly dating to rely it to the family - it had happened before and it would more than likely happen again. But alas, Mark was far too drunk for him to be able to work up the emotional capacity to act like the best friend, if he could even call himself that anymore, he should be too Donghyuck.

- - - -

"Jaehyun, please stop, I'm too drunk for this-"

"Being drunk is the perfect time young padawan! As the expert on all thing’s soulmates, please remember I have known mine since I was a mere five years of age, I am the most qualified to educate you here."

"You're probably more drunk than I am right now-"

"I probably am, okay, I definitely am but, doesn't stop me from being happy and in love and married to the best person in the world."

"You aren't married?"

"That's what you think."

"Jaehyun, what on earth is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that just because I may not be legally married, yet, that doesn't mean I won't be anytime soon. I just need to pick a ring and then ask him but it's not like he's going to say no right? Having a soulmate, you are bound to that person for the rest of your life, that's the whole idea of marriage, is it not? Oh look, there's Doyoung, see you later Mark!" Mark was flabbergasted, apparently Jaehyun had turned into some kind of Tumblr drabble reciting robot when drunk off the dubious substance in his cup, although if you asked him he'd probably just say it's what happens when you're in love and then flash you the famous Jung smile - dimpled and gummy.

"Wait!" Even when he raised his voice himself it made his head pound, "You didn't give me your advice?"

"Oh yeah," Jaehyun could barely stand straight, gently swaying as he paused in his steps half turned to Mark, “Just confess already. The pining isn't doing you any good and there's no other way to find out if he's your soulmate or not unless he tells you he's the one who caused your tattoo. Right now, you're only hurting yourself, stop feeling guilty all the time and be a little selfish for once, not that telling someone how you feel is selfish. You'll only make yourself sick, literally, either way and yes it could end up worst case scenario but you could also end up happy. You deserve to be happy Mark, you've spent so long doing things for everyone else because you felt like you had to, do something for yourself." Mark let his weight sink to the floor, his back pressed against the cold wall of the hallway.

Maybe it's what he needed to be able to let go?

"Mark, hey," Jungwoo turned the corner, finding Mark still cuddled up against the wall where Jaehyun had left him earlier, "I was looking for you, you disappeared on everyone."

"Jungwoo... I want to apologise again about what happened at my birthday. I was drunk, wasn't thinking straight. What I did was wrong, so wrong and I'm so sorry for it and for upsetting you and-"

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm okay? Taeyong introduced me to this older friend of his anyway, very cute, very mature so no risk of him doing any classic teenage pining. Besides, neither of us were exactly thinking straight Mark. You and Haechannie will figure things out soon enough."

"Jaehyun told me to confess, that's why I'm here, debating whether that would be easier than yeeting myself off a cliff." Mark couldn't look at Jungwoo, he still felt guilty, sure they'd both been drunk and neither were exactly hoping to start anything in the future but it felt sucky, Mark never wanted to hurt someone else and in that moment he did, whether Jungwoo was okay now or not.

"Maybe you should, get everything out in the open rather than keeping all those emotions bottled up. You never know, maybe good things will come from it."

"Thank you, Woo, I know what I did was super shitty and I really hope you know how sorry I am."

"Shut up Mark, it never happened."

"Right, it never happened."

For the first time in a while, an actual smile threatened to appear on Mark's face. "Come on, lets re-join the party! Winwin got everyone dancing, even Johnny," Jungwoo grabbed his hand to pull him up from the floor, "let’s have some fun."

As Jungwoo and Mark joined the makeshift dance floor of Yuta's living room, more drinks were pushed into their hands as their friends whooped and cheered that they were back, all far too drunk to remember any of their actions come morning. Jaehyun and Doyoung were cooped up in a corner, speaking in hushed voices to one another, both of their eyes filled with complete adoration for one another. Lucas was twirling Yuqi, the two of them bursting into fits of giggles whenever they made eye contact, it was endearing, Mark thought. Yuta and Winwin seemed to no longer be hiding their relationship status when Sicheng was not-so-subtle, sitting on Yuta's lap, the two leaning in for an R-rated kiss that Mark swiftly looked away from. Jaemin's head was resting on Renjun's thigh as they sat down on the sofa, evidently Jaemin had drunk more than he could handle and Renjun's hands gently cascaded through the younger's hair. Mark liked seeing his friends together, it made him realise just what having one’s soulmate can do, how it can make you feel. But he couldn't help the pang in his chest at the thought, he was alone, his eyes somehow having found Donghyuck among the copious amounts of people dancing. Mark couldn't take his eyes off of him, he gravitated towards him, dancing with some girls from his class who dragged Mark to join them - pushing him towards Donghyuck.

The younger's head snapped up at the mention of Mark's name, no longer focused on perfecting the choreography to whatever song was playing with Yeri and Irene. Before Donghyuck could escape, Mark clasped his wrist, looking at him with pleading eyes. Now or never, now or never.

Donghyuck freed himself, flashing Mark a disgusted look before walking out of the room as fast as he could without drawing attention to them, Mark close behind.

"Hyuck, wait up please!"

"Leave me alone Mark."

"Come on Hyuck, at least let me speak," Mark's shoulders slumped as he let out a deep sigh, attempting to build up his courage, now or never. "J-just let me say this and then you can scream, yell, runaway or whatever it is you want to do," Donghyuck's resistance against Mark pulling his arm again relaxed, "just, please let me speak."

"Fine. What do you so desperately have to say?" His voice was wobbly, Donghyuck was telling himself that it was because of the cold October air and not his emotions getting the better of him. Donghyuck doesn’t even remember at what point they’d made it outside – nor does he see the audience of one they’ve gathered.

"Okay, right, here we go."

"I don't have all night Mark."

"Right, sorry. Of course, I just need a second." Was the air getting thicker or was Mark just having trouble breathing?

"Here goes nothing," Mark took one last deep breath and closed his eyes, he had this speech engraved in his mind ready to use it at any moment, "I like you Hyuck. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you and I'm also fairly certain that you're my soulmate.

I know that we're young and I'm definitely dumb and you aren't even eighteen yet but, I know that I'm in love with you and I trust that the universe made us meet that day in the library because you are my soulmate. I can't imagine my life without you, I can't imagine waking up next to anyone else. I can't imagine kissing someone else, holding someone else in my arms, running my hands through their hair, listening to them hum along to the radio. It's always you, in my daydreams and my nightmares, whether I'm asleep or awake you're always by my side.

Believe me when I say I tried to stop, I tried to convince myself that you're not the one. I spent so long crying myself to sleep, begging the universe to let me stop loving you, I tried, I really, really tried... but, I'm always going to love you. I think I've known that since the day we first met and I need you to know that, I'm always going to love you. No matter what. I've imagined me saying this to you hundreds of thousands of times and I was never going to say anything but I can't keep doing this. I can't fake another smile, I can't fake like everything’s alright all of the time, I can't fake that I'm alright. I love you Donghyuck."

"Mark," Donghyuck inhaled sharply, "I don't know what you want me to say..."

"Say you feel the same, say you can feel your soulmate mark showing up, whatever," the pleading in Mark's words was clear by his breathlessness, "Hyuckie, please, I know you can feel it too."

"I'm sorry Mark, I really am," his shoulders slumped and he couldn't meet Mark's eyes, Mark's pleading gaze, "I'm so sorry. I can't do this. I don't feel the same, I'm not in love with you Mark. You're hurting someone else by doing this, please get over me and stop - I know you won't be able to handle the guilt. I can't let you hurt someone else, I can't hurt you by lying like that. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

And with that he turned away, leaving Mark behind, hiccupping in attempts to breathe while he sobbed uncontrollably. A pair of arms wrapped around him, pulling Mark into a warm chest, a gentle hand patting his head and muttering "it's okay" over and over again.

Mark had never felt more sober than he did in that moment. Dizziness overtook him, the walls if the hallway felt like they were closing in around him, getting closer and closer, suffocating him. He sobbed and sobbed until he didn't have a single tear left to cry, his body spasming as he tried to catch his breath, hiccupping into the comfort of Johnny's arms.

Mark had never wanted to get drunk more in his life.

- - - - -

Donghyuck is peacefully absorbed in his history textbook when his attention is snapped away from medieval medical treatments and to Jaemin quite literally plonking himself in the chair over the other side of the table to Donghyuck, letting out an exasperated sigh as he does so, backpack discarded on the floor by his feet as his eyes meet Donghyuck's - they're inquisitive and Donghyuck feels himself shrink in on himself a little, out of apprehension, fear or embarrassment, Donghyuck isn't sure.

"What happened with you and Mark?"

There was a slight bite to Jaemin's voice, no traces of any gentleness or subtly. Jaemin wasn't for softness when it came to life generally, particularly when someone’s upset, he approaches situations with the grace of a herd of elephants.

"Nothing."

Jaemin tuts, rolls his eyes and lets out a deep sigh, clearly not satisfied with Donghyuck's answer - or rather lack thereof.

"Oh, that’s not what I heard?"

Donghyuck can't tell if Jaemin drew the short straw and is the one tasked with interrogating him over the events of the weekend or if he's genuinely doing it for himself. Maybe Mark is keeping quiet about the events of that night, however even with how good the two are at avoiding one another it is clear Mark hasn't been in school the last few days, they aren't that good at not having crossed paths remotely once. Donghyuck couldn't help the pang of guilt. Donghyuck also knows that Jaemin isn't giving up, he's tapping his fingers against the desk as if he's hoping that'll prompt Donghyuck to talk. Jaemin is nonchalant about most things in life (aside from anything Renjun related), yet he doesn't back down and is evidently undaunted when it comes to getting what he wants.

"Well, nothing happened."

"Bullshit." Jaemin counters, without missing a beat.

Donghyuck is taken back by the harshness of his voice. Honestly, Donghyuck thought they would drag this out for longer, more like he was hoping he could keep up his charade of 'nothing happened' for longer, staying in his little bubble where he could pretend like everything was okay - like that night hadn't happened and he hadn't broken his best friends heart. Jaemin was the type to bug you to just the right level of being ridiculously annoying to get what he wanted out of you - driving you to insanity bit by bit was more his style unlike the current look of utter despair lacing his usually kind features.

"That's utter bullshit and you know it. Whatever fantasy charade you're keeping up by pretending everything’s okay is ending right now. You keep sighing in lessons, I can practically feel the anguish radiating off of you from the other side of town and here you are straight up lying to my face and just about everyone else, including yourself."

"Why do you care so much?" Hyuck didn't mean to sound so cold, it was just a second-nature defence mechanism at this point as well as being caught off-guard by Jaemin's sudden outburst.

Jaemin looks at him again, staring dead into Hyuck's eyes like he's searching for Donghyuck's last remaining brain cell, jokes on him though because it's not there. "Because Haechannie, I actually care about you and want to make sure you're okay as well as Mark. The tension between you two is downright depressing and I thought all the melodrama ended when Renjun and I got together but clearly, I was wrong, the two of you are so much worse. Both with permanent pouts on their faces, avoiding talking about whatever happened so no one can do anything to help which again, is just," Jaemin let out some disgruntled sound in lieu of an adjective but laced with the same disgust he was attempting to convey, "you see? Everyone has been here before, we're not all Jaehyun and Doyoung, you're more like Johnny and Ten and the utter mess that was the start of their best-friends-to-boyfriends transition. We all care about you; we all want to make sure that you're coping and not making yourself sick." Jaemin's now looking at him with one eyebrow raised as if Donghyuck's now supposed to magically understand whatever Jaemin's word vomit was actually implying.

Donghyuck lets his eyes wander over Jaemin's appearance, his hand griping his hair in anticipation of Hyuck's reply, pupils blown, wide and gazing at Donghyuck's face for any hint of emotion, looking slightly manic. Donghyuck evaluates his current position and with a deep breath he feels calmer, his muscles have relaxed, a smirk graces his face and-

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask, how are Johnny and Ten?"

6 NEW MESSAGES FROM RENJUN

I don't know what you did but you broke Jaemin

I've been trying to get him to shut up for years and you did it in less than half an hour

teach me your ways

he hasn't said anything since he got back, he's just sat there staring out the window with his mouth hanging open

Jisung and Chenle are seeing how many blueberries they can get in his mouth until he snaps out of it

they're up to nine

let me know how many they get up too

and tell Jaemin I'm sorry and that I'll

talk when I'm ready.

Donghyuck smiles, its only small but it’s his first genuine smile in a while.

- - - - -

The rain is bouncing off the ground as he walks home, splashing his ankles and soaking the ends of his jeans. The temperature seems to have dropped by a million degrees since this morning and he's wishing he checked the weather app and put a warmer coat on. He's at the point where the harsh October air feels like it’s getting in his bones, just about every inch of him is freezing and just when he thinks things can't get any worse, as he turns the corner to his house he's met by a tall figure sat on the steps leading up to his door.

The rain is the last thing on his mind as he lets his umbrella drop to his side, tilting his head as if that would help him get a better look at the boy that's slouched over, flicking his phone between his hands.

Upon hearing Donghyuck let out a pathetic attempt at a cough in hopes of gaining the others attention, the mop of blonde hair moves until Hyuck is met with a heart-warming, lopsided smile he could recognise anywhere.

"Hey, Haechannie."

"Hello, what can I help you with?"

"I think you know why I'm here."

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