#and every time this happens my first thought is....did i get shadowbanned or something? but no.....i can see it in the tags so it's not tha

[bloodydeanwinchester]

i truly cannot tell whether people just aren't seeing the gifset i just posted on their dashes or if it just isn't getting any notes. but that would be weird because they always get at least one note actually usually at least a few before i reblog with the taglist.

[nonexistent-introvert]

One Drink (Paper stars 8)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Content: all the usual stuff, hangovers, alcohol mentions,

A/N: Short chapter, i feel like im shadowbanned but whatever

Paper stars masterlist

    The consequences of Joel’s actions hit him like a bucket of cold water. He massaged his temples as he sat up from the couch where he had crashed onto the night before. The smell of alcohol clouded his senses and made his head spin more. Joel reached for his phone, letting out a sigh before he plugged his phone into the charger on the counter. Joel stumbled ever so slightly to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of water. He opened the cupboard and closed his eyes to try to focus on something else other than the pounding pain in his head. That’s when he caught sight of the post-it note stuck onto the cupboard. 

   “Off to school. Just a heads up, we ran out of ibuprofen.” a note from Sarah. 

   He was just down on his luck to have ran out of ibuprofen today. 

   Joel emerged from the shower, feeling slightly more refreshed than before but still sluggish. He leaned over the counter, picking up his phone. Joel flinched at the sight of the notifications that flooded his screen. 

    “You crashed pretty hard huh?” 

    “Took the day off you for you, seems like you need it.”

    Tommy. The rest of the messages were from you. 

    Messages that made him sit down, messages that weighed heavily on his conscience. 

    “Where are you?” 

     “You’re so buying dinner, you’re 15 minutes late.” 

    “Joel, I’m getting worried.” 

    “Did something happen?”

     “The restaurant’s closing. I’ll head home first.” 

     The multitude of missed calls from you too. He ran his fingers through his hair, wincing at the thought of you sitting at the restaurant by yourself. He didn’t mean to stand you up, it was just supposed to be one drink. 

================================================

      “Tommy, I gotta go somewhere.” Joel brushed his brother’s invitation off. Tommy rolled his eyes, “It’s not a blind date.” Joel grunted, “Please, just one drink. And I’ll let you off.” Tommy pleaded. “Another day Tommy.” Joel stuffed the documents into his bag. “Come on, I promise you can go by 8” Joel stared at Tommy. “One drink.” Tommy grinned triumphantly, swinging his arm around Joel as he led him out. 

     One drink, Joel thought to himself as he ordered his usual whiskey on the rocks. Tommy was awfully cheery today, his eyes darting to the entrance every so often. Joel noticed of course, but he had learned over the years to mind his own business when it comes to what Tommy was up to. If this was another scheme of Tommy’s to get him a partner he might just burst a vessel right then and there. “My treat, drink till you're full brother.” Tommy stated confidently. Joel raised his eyebrows skeptically at him, “Did you win the lottery or something?” Tommy smiled, “Something along those lines.” Joel swirled the whiskey in his hands, “Great, you can start with paying more for the rent for the office.” Tommy hummed, Joel was sure he hadn’t heard what he had just said and merely agreed, if he knew he would probably be whining like the younger brother he always was. Joel’s thoughts eventually drifted to you, he fumbled with the necklace around his neck. He looked down at his outfit that he had changed into after work. He had made reservations at a restaurant and had bought a bouquet of flowers that he was due to collect in a few minutes time. Joel was going to do what he didn’t get to do in the last decade, he was going to make his feelings for you known. As soon as that thought left him, he chuckled to himself, taking a sip of his whiskey. He was a man turning 30, a single father, his health was declining and he wasn’t even confident enough to call himself financially stable. Not to mention, it had only been months since Tommy and he decided to leave the small carpentry company he had worked in, his first job, to start their own carpentry company. The business was slow and their projects were time-consuming he had no choice but to pull long nights due to the lack of manpower. This date with you, it sounded terrible now. Who in their right mind would choose someone like him? You are smart, have a job that pays well, and a series of opportunities awaiting you. A future that no doubt is brighter than his. 

    Joel did what he did best then, overthinking. A habit that he had picked up and hated with all his heart. Sure, that habit made him more rational and probably helped him make more good decisions than bad but he sometimes wished he was as impulsive as he was when he was younger. When he could do something without going too much into the specifics of the consequences. He downed the whiskey, drowning those thoughts away.     Was he being selfish? 

    Joel raised his empty glass to Tommy. His index finger raised to remind his brother of the promise of one drink. Tommy’s eyes widened, taking the glass from him as he gestured for the bartender to fill it up again. “Please. I swear it’ll be worth it.” Tommy pleaded, giving Joel a look that reminded Joel of a younger version of Tommy. It was the same look that he had used to dazzle and charm multiple women into doing favors for him and also the same look he had given to his own mother when he was a child, begging for a toy in a toy shop. Joel hated that he had a small and tiny soft spot in him for Tommy’s stupid look, he really should be immune to that by now. Joel sighed, taking the glass again from Tommy. He did need the liquid courage if he wanted to go through with his plan. He glanced at the watch on his arm, hitting it when he realised it had jammed again before giving up and checking the time on his phone instead. He still had some time to spare. 

   Tommy was practically bouncing in his seat, he was quieter than usual. Too busy looking at the entrance for someone to busy himself with a conversation with his brother. Unfortunately for Joel, today was one of the days Joel wished he would distract him with a conversation and not leave Joel to his own devices. Joel couldn’t shake the feeling that he was making a bad choice, what if you had to give up opportunities for him? Because he was in no place to leave right now. His thoughts went back to how you mentioned wanting to work at a studio that was located in New York. Could a long-distance relationship with his already hectic schedule even work out? Would the both of you even work out? He didn’t want to lose you again over some stupid relationship. Unknowingly, Joel had downed more than just two glasses of whiskey. 

    Joel debated on telling Tommy about his plans for tonight. Not wanting to be mocked by Tommy or see Tommy’s shit-eating grin Tommy’s dreams of the both of you getting together was becoming true. He wanted it to be a surprise if the plan worked out smoothly. If it didn’t and you rejected Joel, he would act like it never happened and move on, he didn’t want the words of consolation from Tommy.  Upon realizing that he may just explode from the doubts that were forming in his head, he decided that maybe telling Tommy and getting advice from him who knew you better than he did would do him some good. 

     “Hey, you know… later I’m meeting with-” He started, words slurring slightly from feeling a little tipsy, but Tommy hopped off his seat before Joel could say anything. 

    Tommy came back with a woman on his arm. The woman had shoulder-length hair as she waved shyly at Joel. “Joel, my older brother. This is Maria, we have been dating for a few months now.” Tommy smiled shyly at the last part. Joel’s jaw dropped, he had never realised that his brother had found himself someone. He cleared his throat before extending his hand out. Joel should have nursed his tipsiness if he knew who was coming, he figured that being in a tipsy state was not necessarily the best first impression. 

   Maria is a fantastic listener. A contrast that complimented Tommy’s talkative nature. She was friendly and easygoing, she had a comforting aura that made Joel willing to open up about the worries he had for the date that already seemed to be spilling over. A keen eye noticed that Joel was nervous about something, Joel almost felt like a kid again. A kid whose mother was scanning their body language. That was how Joel found himself talking to Maria about the date, how he downed a few more glasses of whiskey, how Tommy butted in when he was practically out of his mind with another topic of conversation. The date and time just slipped his mind and soon his consciousness it seems. 

    When he lifted his head from the counter again. He looked around groggily. “Hey, you’re up.” Maria’s voice woke him. He smiled, sleepily wiping his eyes. “Not for long” he muttered. Maria laughed. “Tommy went to get the car. Said he will meet us out front, he was planning on helping you back because of.” She gestured at Joel’s state. Joel leaned closer, finding difficulty in hearing her because of the loud music blasting. “Sorry?” Maria repeated herself patiently, gesturing for the bartender for a cup of warm water for Joel to sober up. Joel thanked her, drinking the warm water in his hands. He didn’t even realise Maria had patted his back to better help him, or maybe she was just afraid that he might just puke all over the counter. The nauseous feeling seemed to make that scenario a possibility. 

   It was all a blur from then. He only briefly remembered dropping onto his couch and knocking out. 

================================================

   Joel shuffled into the pharmacy. Wincing at the sight of the bright lights in the pharmacy. He made his way to the usual section, where the hangover cures and pills sat. That’s when he spotted you. His throat grew dry, he needed to apologize for yesterday, for standing you up, but he was hesitant to do so, unsure of how to phrase his words. You walked past him, your eyes were swollen, your right hand was on your left shoulder, massaging an ache. He noticed the ibuprofen in your hands too. Were you nursing a hangover too? Your eyes were in a daze, your earphones dangling from your ears.  A blank look in your eyes, too into your thoughts or whatever is in your mind. Your feet tapped softly to the beat that he assumed was playing in your ears as you paid for the pills. His eyes followed you anxiously as he waited for the cashier to finish the transaction. When the cashier handed him his pills, he took off running. Apologizing to the pedestrians who he had to push past while his eyes followed you. He sprinted as he watched you cross the road. 

     Joel waited at the other side of the road, clutching onto his knees as he panted from running after you. He glared at the red light in front of him. He had tried calling out to you but you didn’t hear him because of the earphones. He had called you through the phone too but it had gone straight to voicemail. Joel hitched a breath when his eyes met yours from across the street. A look of realisation dawned upon you before it darkened, you bit your lip, your eyebrows furrowing at the sight of him then you looked him in the eye. Joel’s blood froze in his veins as he noticed the look on your face. Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to bite back the frown that was forming on your lips. The look of disdain and disappointment that you had shot him before you increased your pace. He never wanted to be greeted with that look again. He couldn’t help how his whole body stilled and froze. 

    Joel had messed up. Real bad this time. He was never someone who was good at not messing up, but he was one hell of a fixer.  He would go to the ends of the earth for you, he had to make this right. The question was how? 

[camgoloud]

a couple days ago the lovely @nancywheeeler​ tagged me to do an ao3 wrapped here! i have had a Very busy weekend so i am only now getting to actually posting, but here are my belated responses:

Works published: 5 at the moment (with at least 2 more i’ll be putting up before the end of the year; possibly one or two more than that if i can get my act together and finish up the treat(s) i’ve been chipping away at in exchange to my main assignments in a couple holiday exchanges. busy end of the year for me!)

Words written: 41510 posted this year so far—more than i thought!

Hits: 3647 on my 2022 fics

Bookmarks: 118

Most popular by kudos: Do my friends think I’m dying? (or do I just need to go to sleep?), my singular to-date contribution to the ted lasso/colin hughes fandom and first foray into redditfic (which by the way was SUCH a blast to write that i think i’m going to have to do it again sometime soon. i ought to be more sorry about that than i am)

Most hits: look at the desperate man (omg rip to this fic... worked on it for a little bit this summer when i was feeling particularly angsty about Some Stuff i was dealing with. ran out of angst steam halfway through the final chapter because my life improved lol, got re-possessed by various locked tomb wips around nona release day, and now i kind of just don’t ever want to look at it anymore. maybe i’ll finish it someday?)

Longest: same as previous

Shortest: shovel talk (in f major) (most of which was hurriedly written in one day as a last-hurrah before nona came out to smash my entire life into bits!)

Most comments: inside problems which people have been VERY nice to me about agghhhh

Fic that made me cry: any discussion about the fics that did maximum emotional damage to me MUST mention syntheseas’ INCREDIBLY ambitious and well-written nothing but dark and sound, which i reread following its most recent update. if you’re a locked tomb fan and you’re not already keeping up with this fic... well you need to be. basically. shoutout also to @forjodssake​’s feeling good was easy when he sang the blues, which i just read this thursday and have STILL not recovered from—AMAZING character work!!!

Fic that made me smile: so many! but my favorite comfort read for the last year and change has been @nancywheeeler​‘s four weddings and no funeral. melts my heart every time! cannot recommend highly enough :)

Gifts: does this mean gifts given or gifts received? unclear. anyway in terms of gifts given—do my friends think i’m dying was my tribute to @nancywheeeler​‘s excellent good old-fashioned lover boy, and i’ve got exchange fics i’ll be posting for a few people shortly. for gifts received, there’s whatever comes out of those exchanges!

Collaborations: none this year—or ever before, actually! BUT i am very very interested in the prospect… 👀 friends/mutuals/likeminded individuals active in any of my fandoms, if you’ve ever got an Idea you want to bang on about together or are particularly interested in fleshing out any of the half-formed Concepts i toss out into the void, hit me up and maybe we can make something happen! (well, hit me up whenever my dms are working again, anyway… the shadowban glitch which i’ve been living under for going on a MONTH now is a curse upon this earth)

Events taken part in: yuletide 2022, and the 2022 locked tomb holiday exchange!

thanks again em for the tag! in turn i will tag @aberfaeth​, @rnanqo​, @palamedes-sextus​, and anyone else who’s interested! (and who actually sees this—unsure if any of you will get a notification when i post this, due to the aforementioned shadowban :/)

[lokisprettygirl22]

I'm yours (loki x female reader) (angst, fluff)

Summary : When you catch you boyfriend loki flirting with a supermodel at Tony's birthday bash,You snap. The good ol jealousy trope.

Note : my blog @lokisprettygirl is apparently shadowbanned so I'll post here for now.

"Nobody can know about this okay?" Loki said to you as he got up to dress himself. He spent the last few hours with you, your bodies tangled up with each other, pleasuring each other.

"Umm yeah okay"

"I'm serious y/n , nobody can know" he said sternly. "I don't want to make a big deal out of this and I would appreciate it if you don't either okay?" What an arse.

"Yeah whatever, it was not that great anyways" you replied. That's not what you expected from him after the first time you both had sex, but then what did you really expect ? It's loki.

"That's not what you said when I made you scream and curl your toes few moments ago" he smirks. A giant arse.

"Whatever loki" you rolled your eyes.

"Don't get me wrong y/n , you were amazing, atleast from your usual mortal standards. But I don't want you out there, talking about how you're frolicking with the God of mischief himself " wow! He was really starting to piss you off now.

"You know what, we are never ever doing this again. Get out" you get up to drag him out of your room.

"I know you're trying to be intimidating but you're butt naked right now so it's not really working" he laughs and you wanted to slap that grin out of his face. "And We'll see darling. We'll see" he winks and leaves her room.

That's how it started for the two of you. You should have known that's how it will always be. You should have resisted his devilish charm, his sly little touches, And specially his shallow promises, promises that lasted as long as you were both alone with each other. You'll always be his dirty little secret, someone he comes to at night to quench his lust and leaves before you see the light of the day. You should have been careful. At first it felt exhilarating, it was sexy and thrilling when he sneaked you out and he fucked you mindlessly in every secluded corner of the tower. But then you started to really care about him and it hurt you when he dismissed you in front of everyone, like you meant nothing to him. You fell in love with him , and he wouldn't even look at you in public and it hurt, it really hurt.

"How come two brothers be so different from each other, it baffles me" you heard Jane's voice and it snapped you out of your thoughts. Tony was celebrating his 40th birthday and he had a grand celebratory party, you know to celebrate himself. This party had every big name in the field of everything you can imagine. Industrialists, scientists, actors, supermodels. "What are you talking about janey?" You ask her as you turned around to face her "look at him, being a manwhore" jane points towards loki , he sat on the other side of the hall with a beautiful, tall, gorgeous blonde woman. Your heart instantly felt heavy at the sight, it should have been you, you should have been the one making him smile and laugh. You wore this stupid green dress, hoping he would atleast look at you, maybe pull you to the side and whisper how beautiful you looked but none of that happened "They are just talking I guess and don't call him that" only two people who knew about your rendezvous with loki was jane and wanda, and they weren't fans of him, considering how he mistreated you.

"Yeah just talking, totally not flirting" jane says and you see the blond batting her eyelashes at him, then she leaned in closer to whisper something in his ear and it made you furious with jealousy. You can't even blame that woman, she have no idea that he is taken or is he? Do you really believe him when he says you're the only woman for him, does he really reject all that temptation? Do you really think he is loyal when he have so many willing subjects? You order two neat vodka shots and gulp it down in one go. "Woah woah that's my girl, you know what forget him ,let's get drunk, I'll go find wanda and be right back"

When she leaves, you walk up to were loki was and you could see how she was so attracted to him. She kept running her fingers on his shoulders and they sat too close for your liking. He wore an all back gucchi suit and he looked gorgeous, if you were one of those ladies you would want someone like him to flirt with you too. Loki turns his head to the side as you approach him and his eyes didn't even met yours properly before he turned his attention towards the pretty blonde again. She was even prettier up-close. "loki can I talk to you ?" Normally you would keep your distance and act like he doesn't exist but you were extremely jealous and got the liquor courage you needed. He looks up and gives you the eyes, the look that he reserved for moments like this "I'm a little occupied, if it's about the mission, I'll discuss it later" he shrugged and now you felt her looking at you too "it's not about the mission, let's go dance or something, I haven't done that in a while" your voice cracks a little as you say that, you were really putting yourself out there, you were hurt but you loved him and you just wanted him to acknowledge you once.

"I don't dance darling, don't know what gave you the impression that I would dance with you and look like those fools" Couldn't he see he was hurting you ? How could he be so cogent? Did he really not care about your feelings at all? The blond woman had one of those judgemental smile on her face "by the way, this beautiful lady here is Christine, she is a model-i learn something new about midgard everyday" he looks right into your eyes as he introduced her "uhh a supermodel" you hear her correcting him and she leaned into him as she giggles. "And you are?" She asks you but you kept your eyes on loki and turned around to walk away. You couldn't be there anymore, you couldn't do this anymore. Not only did he disregard you in front of her but also rubbed how gorgeous she was in your face "wow some people really can't deal with rejection huh? Pathetic"

You heard the venomous insult she threw your way and you just wanted to disappear. You walked and you walked untill you were far away from them.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that you foolish mortal" he spat at her when you were out of sight. You looked beautiful today , you always did but he knew you wore this dress today for him and he wished he could just grab a hold of you and tell you how beautiful you looked but he couldn't, so many people here today. He couldn't risk it, he couldn't risk them having a suspicion, he couldn't risk you.

You went to your room and slammed the door shut as you got inside. That's when you allowed yourself to breakdown. You were remarkably hurt and you have felt yourself breaking slowly overtime. Was he ashamed of you ? He must be, why would he want to be seen with you when he had the likes of Christines to show off. You were done being discarded and you were done feeling sorry for yourself. You wiped your tears, fixed your make up and went back to the party again. If loki doesn't care about this relationship as much you do then you can't be his dirty fling anymore. You deserved someone who would be proud to show you affection in public, and you may not find him today but atleast you can distract yourself at the party. Your eyes looked around for wanda and jane but unfortunately your gaze fell upon loki. There he was dancing with Christine and looked exactly like the fool he said he would. Not really though, you couldn't deny that he looked sexy, the way he moved his hips slightly, as he moved with her and the way he held her hips as she rocked against him. You were so done with him.

"You're too sexy, beautiful everybody wants a taste that's why I still get jealous" you heard the song that was playing currently. What are the odds. Why everything had to suck today? You went to the bar and ordered one more shot, if you're going to get over him, you're getting over him in traditional ways. Getting shitfaced was one of them. You gulped your drink down when you heard a voice "you okay y/n?"

You turned your head to look at James , well everyone called him Bucky but you two were not close. When cap brought Bucky, he was out of control and his mind needed a lot of therapeutic healing . His therapist quit after a day because she said something that triggered him and he attacked her. So loki took him under his wings, he helped james clear his head, used his powers to train him to differentiate between what's in his head and what's reality. Loki has been in his shoes, he understood how it felt to lose your mind, to be tortured, to be used. You didn't just fall for him because he was exceptionally good looking or because you had the best ever sex of your life with him. He had a heart, as much as he tried to act like he didn't give shit about anything or anyone. He loved thor, and he cared about James, and you thought he cared about you but you're just someone to warm his bed every now n then nothing more.

"I'm completely awesome, just having fun ..I mean you agree right ? I am awesome, you know what do not answer that" you say to him and he gives you a small smile "As much as I have heard about you, you're more than just awesome " your drunk head didn't even register weather who he heard it from about you. He was good looking and had this whole broody and mysterious vibe about him. And only if you were not hopelessly in love with loki, something might have happened. "Do you wanna dance?" You ask him and his eyes widen "I don't think that would be appropriate" he says politely. What's with men not wanting to dance with you today ? You're an amazing dancer "why it wouldn't be appropriate?" You chuckle and grabbed his arm, to walk towards the dance floor. You were totally not trying to make loki jealous but it happens organically you wouldn't be opposed to it.

"Just relax James, it's just a dance" you smile and put your arms around his neck to bring him closer. "You can call me Bucky" you heard him saying something but music was too loud "what did you say?" You yell so he leaned down to say it again. "oh okay Bucky" you giggle and he started to relax around you. Then they started to play some slow romantic music you have never even heard of and you shook your head. You so didn't want to see if loki was still dancing with her, he must be. "You know I learned to do waltz, but it has been like 80 years since I did it last" he says to you and you chuckle as you thought he was doing that _it's been 80 years_ meme thing from Titanic. But then you realised he meant it genuinely.

"I know how to waltz, the thing is once you start doing it,no matter how long it's been everything comes back, muscle memory and all you know" you tell him "you wanna try?" You giggle and he nods but you needed more space. "Let's move there" you point towards the centre of the hall and drag him there. The music was perfect and you both put your arms out and got in the stance. Then you both started moving elegantly and you put your head towards the side, for a second you felt loki's eyes over you both but you ignored it . Honestly to hell with him. You both were doing so good that most of the attention was drawn towards you two, but you didn't care, you were having fun. After few moments Bucky twirled you around and then you finished with a dip, You see him smiling as you stretch up "I have always wanted to do that" you say to him "I'm glad I could make that happen" he smiles and then you both you hear clapping and it's wanda and jane with a huge grin on their faces.

"You should go join your friends, besides I wouldn't want any trouble for you" he says as he leaves and it confuses you. He was fun to be around and you had a feeling you two could be good friends if nothing more. All the drinking and dancing did make you forget loki for few moments but once the adrenaline went down, you felt that heart ache again. How could he be so callous, how could he flirt so shamelessly with other women around you. You say goodnight to wanda and jane, they wanted you to stay but you felt drained and you just wanted to cry in peace. On the top of that loki wasn't even at the party anymore, is he fucking Christine? Your heart shattered at the realisation and you felt nauseated so you said your goodbyes and left.

When you went inside to your room, loki was there staring out the window, he was the last person you wanted to see right now but atleast he wasn't with her "What are you doing here?" He turns his head around as he heard your voice and glared at you "the question should be what the hell you were doing out there, with barnes" he asks you and God the nerves and audacity he had right now. "It's called dancing loki and the hypocrisy is commendable really" you yell at him. He had no right to judge you when he wasn't any better. "The hypocrisy? What's gotten into you y/n ? Didn't we agree to keep our relationship private? Then why would you approach me and ask me to dance out there? Don't act like I tricked you into this, you knew what you were getting into" he raised his voice and it made you flinch.

He was right you knew what you were getting into but you couldn't do it anymore " I know I agreed for us to be low-key , no pun intended, let me make that clear" you clear your throat, "but there is a difference between a private relationship and a secret relationship loki. Is this even a relationship for you? Or I'm just someone you're fooling around with untill you're bored?" You raised your voice too and that's When he realised how hurt you actually are about all this "is that what you really think of me ? Of us? Is that what you think I'm doing? Evil loki with his evil plan right?" He walks towards you and he looked sad? Why would he be sad? He can have anyone he desires. You take few steps back as he gets closer to you , no you wont let him turn this around on you.

"That's how you have made me feel today loki, you made me feel used, you made me feel so small today in front of her like she was important to you and like I meant nothing, you can't flirt with the most gorgeous woman in the room ,throw it in my face and then expect me to not care" your lips trembled and your voice quivered as you lash out. All those pent up emotions you had , all of them were going to come out today. He wasn't trying to hurt you but you approached him out of nowhere and he wasn't ready for that.

"She means nothing to me y/n, and you're wrong about her, she wasn't the most gorgeous woman in the room and besides I just met her and I found her very infuriating to say the least"

"Yeah that's probably how you felt when you were grinding on each other"

"Don't use that tone with me y/n "

"Fuck off loki, you want to act like I'm unimportant then fine have it your way, go fuck Christine and her supermodel friends"

As soon as the words left your mouth he closed the distance between you two as he kissed you roughly and deeply. He have heard enough and he can't lose you like this, he won't let it happen. You want to fight back, and you want to get away from him but you don't, you give in and you kiss him back. All that anger, the jealousy, the hurt you feel right now makes you want to Pull his hair out but also fuck him at the same time. He lifts you up by your waist and you wrap your legs around him. He walks untill you're stuck between his strong arms and the wall, he pulls on your hair to stretch your neck and you feel his lips sucking onto your neck, he's leaving his mark, you were not the only one jealous, when he watched you dancing and giggling like that, he wanted to be there with you instead of barnes, he wanted to carry you around in his arms and he wanted to be the man who made you happy today.

His hands moved under the dress and he squeezed your ass. He rolled his hips forward and you felt his erection rubbing against your pussy, and that elicited a moan from you. You wrapped your leg around him more tightly as you bucked your hips into him, you were so frustrated, so upset and so horny at the same time. A tear rolled down from your eyes and loki looks at you he heard a soft sob from you, his heart clenching at the broken noise you made. He never wanted to hurt you this much and he definitely didn't want you to feel like you meant nothing to him, how could he when he felt the exact opposite. He kisses you softly on the cheeks and puts you down on the floor. "Are we not going to hatefuck ?" He hears you and he's perplexed. Now you think he hates you? "I do not hate you y/n , have I treated you so horribly that you think that? "

"Then why wouldn't you accept me in front of everyone? Huh? Are you ashamed of me? Am I not enough? I mean I'm not the supermodel I know..is that it? What is it loki? Tell me" You yell again and he have had enough of you self doubting your worth. He can't let the woman he loves feel this way.

"Because I'm trying to protect you, you silly stubborn woman" he yelled and took a step back from you. "Do you even realise what kind of man you are with y/n? I'm loki, the god of mischief and lies, the war criminal, the murderer, I have been alive for thousands of years, do you have any idea how many enemies I have made during my existence, they're out there looking, hunting , sniffing for my blood, they're looking for a weakness. When Thanos's henchmen tortured me, they used illusions to mess with my mind, showed me things they would do to me and those I cared about, gruesome fatal ending of my mother frigga, my brother thor. So I did what I had to do but I failed y/n and someday they'll come for me, and unfortunately it's not just them. Remember when I was fired at last month?"

He asks you and you nod your head "I do..he lost his brother during NY attack and he blamed you" you tell him and he smiles "now imagine if you were there with me, I made it out without a scratch but what would have happened to you y/n? You would have died on my watch and there is nothing I could have done to protect you, you mortals are so fragile, one bullet would have taken away the woman I love, once they find about you they'll use you to get to me and I can't let that happen" You were not expecting to hear that, you were not expecting any of that, you were pretty sure he was just bored and using you to get by but it made sense, everything made sense. How could you be so blind, how could you never see that after everything he has been through he was scared, scared of losing more, scared of losing you, for the first time he was being vulnerable with you "You love me?" You say softly and he looks at you "is that the only thing you heard?" He chuckles "no I heard all of it loki but you have never been so open with me about any of this before, last time I checked only one of us could read minds and it's not me so can you just open up and talk to me? So I would know what bothers you and what scares you and why you do what you do?"

He nods and he closes the distance between you two. He wraps his arms around you tightly "you're my weakness y/n , I never wanted to have one but then you came along. But I can't do this the way you want me to, I can't give you what you need right now, I can't tell everyone that we are together, not untill I make sure nothing will ever harm you again or take you away from me" he says to you as he continues to hug you

"Okay" you answer him and he pull away to look at you.

"Okay?"

"Yeah okay, i love you loki and I would rather be with you even if it's just both of us who knows about it then not be with you at all. So okay I'm okay with it, that's only if you still want to be with me"

"There's nothing I want more than that. You think it's easy for me to let you walk around as if you're not claimed? As if you're not mine? It's not, it's torturous, no pun intended, let me make that very clear" he imitates you and it makes you giggle "But I'm yours okay? I would never betray you and I never want you to feel like you're not enough or that I'm ashamed of accepting you, because you mean more to me then you'll ever know, I just need you to be safe, I just want you to be okay" his voice cracks , he was pouring his soul out to you and it makes you tear up and you lean in to kiss him. He kisses you back with same intensity and he runs his hand over your back.

"So beautiful you are, the prettiest. I love the dress princess" he kisses your forehead

"Thank you love, I got it in your colour" you smile.

"I know but It would look better on the floor"

"Did you read it online?" You raise your eyebrows

"Yes I'm not proud of that"

"Shouldn't be, by the way jane knows about us, not my fault, thor told her and wanda does too, just cause she's my best friend but nobody else will"

"Well that explains the deathly stares I receive from them on daily basis and barnes does too, and that's exactly why I need to talk to him about the dance, I only sent him to make sure you were okay"

"Awn you were looking out for me?"

"did you not hear anything I said?"

"I did, and that explains his hesitation, it was not his fault though, so go easy on him, also no more grinding with supermodels, or models or any human except me "

"I feel awful about that y/n, I don't know what I was thinking, please forgive me?" He does feel guilty about everything that happened today, You look at him and smile and get on your tip toes to kiss him. Not even an hour ago you were assured you won't have him in your life anymore.

But Life have a weird way of working itself out, when two people are meant to be together there's nothing that can keep them apart. Someday loki will figure out what he can do to make you less fragile,less mortal, someday he'll finally finish that protection charm he has been working on for you. And someday he'll tell the whole world what you mean to him but for now this was enough. He picks you up bridal style and walk towards the bed. He lays you down and kisses you until you are gasping for a breath. Then gets up and looks intently at you as he loosens his tie.

"Y/n"

"Hmm?"

"I can waltz too"

[potentialsandwhich]

Part 3 to “fucking the enemy” when the team actually sees her sleeping but naked then obviously understanding what happened, and her trying to explain herself. If you want to ofc

I gotchu, hopefully this is what you wanted.

Also, Tumblr is really shadowbanning me. My posts and account are not showing up under any of the tags :(

Are there such things as crack fics? Because if so, this is a crack fic.

Warning/s: References to sex, but nothing explicit

Previous Parts: [Prequel],[ Fucking The Enemy] <-Both of These ARE 18+

This is PART 2

---

Natasha messed up.

"OhHhHh, please tell me you are seeing this."

She messed up big.

"Tony, stop." Reprimanded Steve from his place beside the brunette.

Pulling up the sheets draped across her front, Natasha shrank into the mattress beneath her, hoping to disappear as her team mates all stared into her soul, something she would've normally never done if not for the incriminating circumstances of her current situation.

"Stop? Oh, come on! This is gold, Rogers, no, better than gold." Tony chuckled with excited eyes.

There came a sigh from the Avengers' Captain. Looking extremely tired, Steve turned his weary attention away from Tony and onto the Russian still naked on the hotel bed.

"Natash-"

"I can explain!" The assassin blurted out before Steve could finish, hands reaching out defensively, almost causing the sheets around her chest to fall down.

A wicked grin spread across Tony's face, "Yeah? This should be good."

Shooting the billionaire a pointed glare to stay quiet, Steve nodded at Natasha to continue.

The full attention of her team back onto her, the Russian cleared her throat nervously, "Well-you see-it started when you gave me the file on a new top priority-"

"Damn, that long ago? You've been secretly sleeping with our number one enemy behind our backs for that long?!" Tony interrupted. Wanda used her magic to slap Tony across the back of his head.

"No! I just meant that's where the story starts. I didn't-" Natasha turned to meet Steve's glance, "I didn't sleep with her then." She clarified.

Steve slowly nodded in acknowledgement.

"My relationship with her was strictly professional in the beginning. She was the target, and I was meant to bring her in, and I knew that, and that's what I did for a year. Back and forth, and back and forth, I would gather intel and go after her, following every new trail and evidence I could find, always just on her heels, or so I thought, but it soon became clear that she was purposefully lead me on goose chases all around the globe, seemingly toying with me for fun."

"I prefer a different type of foreplay, but to each their own, I guess." Tony snickered under his breath.

"And I don't know where things change. I never meant to sleep with her, it just sort of happened."

Tony nodded, "I too have accidentally found myself in someone else's bed before." A dream like look passed over his face, "Ahh, Delilah."

Bruce's face scrunched up into a blend of mild disgust and uncomfortableness.

"I swear I didn't, but the first time that we-I had been having a bad day and just really needed to let out some steam and- it was only suppose to be a one time thing."

"And yet here we are." Steve pointed out.

"She's very convincing."

"And talented with her tongue in more ways than one, too, I'm sure. There must be a reason why you kept coming back," Tony added.

Natasha flushed red, "Tony, I swear to god, one more word out of you and I'm going to strangle you to death with by bare hands."

The brunette's smile only grew as he up and downed the Russian, "You should know better than to tempt be with a good time, Romanoff."

Steam practically rolled out of Natasha's ears, "You are in no position to judge. Not when you've practically slept with half of Manhattan!"

Tony only whistled, "Oh, no, I'm not judging. In fact, I'm actually proud. Look at you, Romanoff, getting your much needed sex appointment, extra points for it being taboo."

Clint, having silently been watching the interaction from the corner of room, suddenly picked up the complimentary pen on the T.V stand, and threw it with pin point precision at Tony's head. The pen hit the billionaire with a dull thud.

"Ow!"

"Shut it, Tin Can." The archer growled.

"What? I'm just voicing everyone else's thoughts. Natasha sleeping with SHIELD's most wanted is an awfully hilarious turn of events, that I'm sure none of us saw coming, so I am simply enjoying the circumstances of everything."

An awkward silence fell upon the room, and for a breath of a second, barely noticeable to the normal eye, a flickering look passed over the rest of the teams' faces.

"Wait-what was that?" Tony asked.

"What was what?" Steve replied innocently.

"Wha-what was that look you all had just now." The brunettes pressed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Bruce responded.

A dread settled over Natasha, "Please don't tell me that-"

"HAVE YOU GUYS KNOWN ABOUT NATASHA AND (Y/N) PRIOR TO TODAY?!" Tony suddenly shouted in disbelief.

Some of the better liars on the team shook their heads, but the less proficient ones hesitated.

"No!" Natasha groaned. "How did you guys-"

"We've actually caught you passed out like this many times before, without Tony of course, and we've just snuck back out before you woke up in the past." Wanda admitted.

Natasha's jaw dropped.

"YOU GUYS KNEW AND DIDN'T TELL ME?!" Tony exclaimed, still flabbergasted.

"Yes, dumbass, because you can't keep your mouth shut." Clint retorted.

"You guys...knew." Natasha was mumbling under her breath.

Steve awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, sorry, but for what it's worth, you and (Y/N) are pretty cute together."

You burst out hiding from the hotel closet, "Yeah, I suppose we do look cute don't we?"

"What the-"

[redrobin-detective]

love language

“Ben,” the voice said softly, “wake up.” It was familiar in a way Ben couldn’t put his finger on. 

“No, mom,” Ben groaned, “five more minutes.”

“Not Mother,” the voice said with an amused huff. “Been longer than five minutes, worried now,” it continued on awkwardly. Ben frowned, confused by the situation. He opened his eyes and sat up to assess what was going on. At least that was what he tried to do.

“Woah,” he gasped as he found he couldn’t move much at all. He didn’t really have sensation or form, there was nothing around him to see and no eyes he could use to see anything with. Ben felt like his brain was spread thin, like cream cheese on a bagel, making every thought feel strange and disconnected. “Where am I?”

“Safe,” the voice soothed and Ben couldn’t help but believe. “Always safe with me. We’re away from attack now, recover here for Grandpa Max or Cousin Gwen to find us.”

“Us?” Ben fumbled as he added up the words in his head. “Wait, you’re the Omnitrix, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” the voice - which now that he was listening Ben recognized as his own just a slightly different pitch and intonation - said happily. “And you are Master, Ben Tennyson.” 

“So wait, am I inside the watch?” Ben asked. That would explain his lack of a body, his whole brain was just floating around inside the alien device. It was weird and a bit scary, no wonder Ghostfreak didn’t like it. “Are you in my body?”

“Sorry,” the Omnitrix said almost apologetically, “was necessary. You were unconscious, your life threatened. Had to access your nervous system to get you to safety. Switch back now?”

“No wait, not yet, I wanna talk some more,” Ben pleaded. “Could you always do this? I feel Azmuth would have shadowbanned me ages ago if he knew he could.”

“This was an emergency, we will always do what is necessary to save the Master’s life.” the Omnitrix responded, it’s words coming more naturally now that it was getting used to it. Ben could practically feel the device flicking through his knowledge language and vocabulary to better communicate. It should feel invasive and yet somehow wasn’t. “And Creator does not get an opinion on the Master.”

“Harsh,” Ben responded back, “what do you got against Azmuth? He did make you, helps fix you when I mess up even though he doesn’t have to.”

“Creator tried to separate us,” the Omnitrix bit back harshly. “He lied to Master, drugged you and attempted to remove me from your person. It did not ask either of us, simply decided a child could not handle the responsibility.”

“Woah,” Ben had gone to Galvan Prime many times, fallen asleep quite often. How many times had Azmuth tried to take the device from him?

“Only once,” the Omnitrix chimed in as if reading his thoughts which, oh, it probably was. Weird. “We shocked him to unconsciousness, to prevent him from trying again. We will not be separated.” 

“Protective, aren’t you?” Ben chuckled awkwardly. It was one thing to know Azmuth wanted to remove the watch, it was another to realize the watch wouldn’t let that happen.

“You are the Master,” it said fondly, “We love you, more than anything in the omniverse. We would watch it all burn if it meant keeping you safe.”

“What?” Ben asked flustered. His parents said they loved him constantly, same with Grandpa and Gwen. But this felt different. “Why? Like seriously, why me? I’m 16 years old and I’m just as much a mess as I was at 10.”

“We...” it paused as if thinking. There was a vague feeling of moving and Ben wondered what the watch was doing in his body. “We can’t explain, Master was just right.” 

“Many wanted to claim us,” the Omnitrix continued. “For many Earth years, we were pulled across the universe, searching for the perfect host. Creator grew tired of the debates, the lies, the deaths that followed and eventually abandoned us. It told us to choose wisely who could use our power. Kings and warriors and scientists demanded it and still we did not relent. None were worthy until you.”

“Seriously?” Ben questioned, “I was like a C student with unmanaged ADHD and about 4 complexes stuffed in a trench coat. Plus we met on accident, Xylene was trying to send you to Grandpa.”

“We like Grandpa Max,” the watch hummed, “but he is too much of solider. Sometimes he even forgets your his family. When the pod opened and we scanned you, we only found your curiosity and wonder. You were the first being to look upon us without ulterior motives. It was, nice.”

“I get that,” Ben mumbled to himself, more than used to everyone in his life expecting something or other from him. 

“We, too, were curious about you. Creator did not add human DNA in our storage. He only cared for relevant species at the time, Earth and it’s people were as alien to us as we were to you.”

“Is that why you latched on?” Ben asked again. 

“Partially, we knew were under attack and needed some manner of escape. It wasn’t going to be forever but we found we liked you; your bravery, your creativity, your love... it inspired us. You went from Host to Master and we bonded more permanently.”

“Huh,” Ben said thoughtfully. “I never really realized you were alive, that you chose me.” He chuckled sadly, “I turned out to be kind of a disappointment, huh?” 

“No,” the watch responded forcefully, enough to startle Ben out of his dark thoughts. “We love you, all of you. All your successes and failures, flaws and strengths, we love them all. We are one in the same, bonded in entirety. We will spend the rest of your days together and when your natural death comes, we will die too. There will be no Master after Ben.”

“So even when I’m just messing around...” Ben asked, changing topics from that heavy comment.

“You taught us how to play and we learned,” The Omnitrix teased. “You ask for Humongosaur too much though, we can have our own fun.”

“Oh so you’re the reason I always get the wrong alien,” Ben laughed. “You’re gonna get me killed one day!”

“Never,” the Omnitrix said warmly but with a steely protectiveness in there. “We will always protect you.”

“Hmm, I guess so,” Ben hummed. “What’s going out in the real world?”

“The battle is over as far as we can see. No sign of Cousin Gwen, Friend Kevin or Partner Rook. Grandpa Max was still in the satellite orbiting the planet last we heard. Do you wish to return now that the danger has passed?”

“Nah, not yet,” Ben sighed, enjoying a few minutes without someone needing him. “I know my body is in safe hands. Tell me more about some of the bozos who tried to wear you.”

“Aurius the Magnificent was one of the more annoying,” the Omnitrix said in the tone Ben used when he was feeling petty. “Just put me on and demanded that I chose him. He did it in front of his whole court and was so frustrated when I would not attach. His concubines laughed at him.”

“Oh man, how embarrassing,” Ben cackled. He let go of his worries, of his responsibilities, of everything and just basked in the familiar tones and the omnipresent love around him. 

[almanacrat]

Lover, Leaver

(This was a request but I am reuploading it because of my shadowban. That will go for many of the ones I am about to re upload.

I am doing great! a bit tired as it is 2:30 a.m. where I am, but im having a ton of fun writing this :)

-

Y/n always hugged Josh a little longer than the rest of the boys. Their goodbyes always sadder and their connection always stronger. Josh thought about her night and day, though he knew he shouldn't have. Y/n and Sam had been dating for three months now. They seemed happy, but Josh felt that something had gone unsaid by Y/n. The longing glances they would send across the room, the party that was never quite complete without without the other, and the relishing of time when they were together all told a tale of love.

Almost every song he wrote was about Y/n, and it pained him to have to keep it a secret. Josh would tell it to everything if he could; the people he knew, strangers, and even the dirt on the ground and the crickets in the grass. However, he couldn't; so he settled for singing those songs to the masses, hoping desperately that she would recognize that they were about her.

It nearly broke Josh to see Sam and Y/n together. Josh would never dream of getting in the way of anyone's relationship, but Y/n was the exception. Josh felt as though they were in a royal kingdom, and Y/n was betrothed to Sam, leaving him helplessly in love with her. Each time they were around each other was a reminder that he wasn't allowed to have her. Josh lamented that Sam met her first, certain that she would be leaning against his shoulder right now if that was the case.

That, however, was not how fortune fell. Right now, guests were buzzing throughout the large yard and chatting lively in front of the bonfire. Sam was telling an entrancing tale as Y/n sat under his arm. To anyone else, she seemed content, but to Josh, she seemed disgruntled and weary.

This much was true. She had been observing Josh, wishing she could admit her feelings to both herself and him. Y/n was halfway there. She had admitted to herself that the innate connection she had with Josh was inappropriate when she had Sam, but wouldn't admit to loving him as much as she did.

Josh needed to clear his head. He went inside to the kitchen to put himself a drink and breathe some air that wasn't permeated with smoke.

Josh had only been standing for a moment before Y/n walked through the door. He wasn't surprised as this would often happen. The two would sit alone in a room after the party had worn out, and they would talk about anything from philosophy to what the best kids show was.

"Tired of the party already?" Josh asked.

"Not yet, I just came in to check on you. You seem a bit distracted." Y/n stood beside him, pouring herself a glass of cola.

"I could say the same about you. You seem absent as well." Josh stated.

"You always see right through me. Sometimes I think you know me better than Sammy." Y/n's words caused a hush to fall between them.

"Why are you still with him?" The words escaped Josh's mouth before he could think.

"I love him Josh, I-"

"You love me too, Y/n. You don't have this kind of connection with someone you don't love." Josh insisted.

"I like you a lot, but, Josh... I couldn't ever cheat on Sammy."

"I'm not asking you to cheat on Sammy." Josh told Y/n.

Unbeknownst to both of them, Sam had wandered into the kitchen, stopping to listen in the doorway when he picked up on the serious tone of the conversation.

"Then what are you asking? What do you want from me?" Y/n asked, wishing she had never met Josh and fallen in love with him.

"I don't ask anything of you, just that you tell me the truth. Do you love me?"

"Yes... I love you, Josh. That doesn't matter though. I'm with Sam." Y/n admitted quietly.

"If you would have met me before you met Sam, do you think- I mean- is there any possible way- I- would you..." Josh shut his mouth, frustrated at his failed attempts of getting his question across; however, Y/n knew what he was trying to say.

"I would've picked you. Every time." Y/n looked at the floor shyly, her soul sinking knowing she couldn't have him.

"All I want is your love, Y/n."

"You have it, Josh, but we can't happen."

"Stop saying that. We can make it happen, Y/n, if that's what you want because it's the only thing I want. It's the only thing I've wanted since I met you." Josh felt himself getting choked up, but repressed it.

"How?" Y/n wondered despairingly.

"Break up with Sam." Josh stated, holding her hands in his.

The two jumped in surprise as Sam appeared, storming into the room and shoving Josh away from Y/n.

"That's enough!" Sam roared.

"How much did you hear?" Josh asked.

"I heard enough to know that my brother is in love with my girlfriend and trying to break us up." Sam was full on shouting now. "You're gonna pay for this!"

Sam punched Josh square in the face, causing him to stumble back. Josh threw a punch that was just as hard and the Boyd started fighting. Josh had the upper hand at first, but was soon overcome by Sam, who began to beat him again.

"Sam, Sam, stop it!" Y/n cried as Josh tried to wrestle away.

"Why should I? He's trying to split us apart!" Sam wondered.

"Because I love him too!" Y/n confessed.

"You what?" Sam got off of Josh and stood up to face Y/n.

"I love him." She said softly. "I'm sorry, Sam."

"What about us?" Sam's voice was at a whisper.

"I love you, too, Sam. Just- not in that way. I'm sorry I didn't realize that earlier." A tear slipped down Y/n's face as she disclosed her feelings.

"I'm sorry, too." Sam's eyes grew weary and sad. "So we're over?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Y/n nodded her head slowly.

"Sam-" Josh began.

"I need a few days to myself." Sam told Josh, then trudged out the front door.

Y/n twiddled her thumbs as a hush filled the air.

“Hey.” Josh broke the silence.

“Hey.” Y/n chuckled lightly at how casual he was being. “We need to get you cleaned up.”

Josh led the way to his room, and began to clean his face with a warm and damp washcloth. She got out the antiseptic spray and cleaned the cut on his face, the burn of the chemicals making him wince.

“Shit, he got you good.” Y/n stated, examining the bruises on his jaw and eye.

“I got him better.” Josh boasted, making Y/n shake her head and laugh.

Josh rested a hand on Y/n’s waist, guiding her to move closer to him. He bent down and placed a tender kiss on her lips. Their lips seemed to collapse into each other as they explored the other’s lips, this long awaited moment finally coming true. 

-

“You’re the stars in the sky, mon amour.” Josh spoke softly to her as they cuddled in bed.

“Speak French for me, please, Josh? I like how it sounds in your voice.”

“Tu es mon âme et mon réconfort. J'ai parlé de toi aux étoiles et elles se sont émerveillées de ta magnificence.”

-

Translation- “You are my soul and my comfort. I told the stars about you and they marveled at your magnificence.”

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 18

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: angst Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

A/N: so sorry I’ve been slow with updating Tumblr - my blog was shadowbanned (basically Tumblr hid my blog in searches, notifications, tags, etc.) and it just got fixed so I’m working to update here!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“You’re back,” Dr. G smiled as you plopped down in the seat across from her. 

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and instead forced a tight smile. “I’m back,” you confirmed with a dramatic nod for emphasis. You didn’t know why you were feeling so hostile. You had shown up here willingly this time. 

Bucky didn’t even know you were seeing your therapist again. But it wasn’t exactly like he was around to find out. He had left for his mission yesterday in the very early morning and you were now on constant edge. You didn’t know what he would encounter. You knew none of it was at your clearance level seeing as you had no government clearance level to begin with but still… You didn’t like that anything that went wrong would come back to you in the depths of your sleep. Even if Bucky had shared everything step-by-step, any mishap was another blow. Even if everything went right, you feared you were bound to see something. 

“Would you like to share anything?” Your therapist asked, disrupting your spiraling thoughts. It was like she knew and, well, maybe she did. You really did kind of suck at hiding your emotions. You could practically feel your face darkening with worry. 

“Bucky and I learned something about us recently,” you said a bit nervously but Dr. G nodded in encouragement. You tried to steady your breathing and continued, “Our soulmate bond has been disrupted. It happened when he was part of Hydra — I mean, not like part of. That makes it sound like he joined willingly which he absolutely did not—,”

Your therapist said your name sharply, cutting off your words. “I know what you meant,” she said.

You nodded briefly, recomposing yourself, and began again, “While under Hydra, he was brainwashed and in that process, they thought they had rid him of his soulmate. But, turns out, all they were doing was tampering with the transmission lines. This means any sort of trauma or… or really emotional occurrences in Bucky’s life gets passed along to me, intercepting any, well, normal dreams. And there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Nothing?”

You glanced away. “Well, I’ve asked him to retire to maybe… minimize the damage.”

Dr. G nodded as she scribbled something on her notepad. She let out an interesting hum. “How did Bucky respond to that?”

You fought back the urge to roll your eyes. You weren’t really upset with him, more angered by the situation. “It took him a second to come around to the idea and, sure, eventually he did but then he was given another mission. A mission he couldn’t turn down.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

Another feeling of annoyance flashed across you at the cliche therapist speak but you could also recognize the question for its worth. Someone was actually asking you how you felt about the new, and last, mission. Lord knows Bucky hadn’t.

You bit your lip, feeling tears already threatening to run down your cheeks. “It made me feel bad, to put it simply. I just felt horrible and scared. I know that with time it’ll go away and maybe we’ll find some peace but I’m just really hurt it has to be this way.”

More notes were scribbled. “How did Bucky react to hearing that?” Dr. G asked without looking up. You shifted awkwardly in your seat, fiddling with your fingers out of habit. Your therapist glanced up once her writing has finished. Her brows raised as you struggled to find an answer.

“He doesn’t really know.”

Your therapist placed her pen on her notepad and leaned forward in her chair, eyeing you a bit upsettingly. “Do you remember what I told you during your last session?”

Talking. Talking, talking, talking. Just let it out. How could you forget? That’s exactly what you had done and while it made some kind of progress, you were still stuck at this godforsaken dead end for the time being. 

You picked at the chair cushion. “He didn’t ask,” you sighed. “Besides, what good was it going to do? I couldn’t have stopped the mission.”

Dr. G shrugged. “No, I doubt you could’ve, but that’s not the point. The point is you’re hurting and your soulmate needs to know this, especially when it involves him. You can’t beat around the bush or try to sidestep this kind of stuff. Be gentle, yes, but little progress can be made if everything is bottled in.”

“Well, doc, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’m sure he knows very well how I feel about all of this,” you snapped back. “Think I made myself super clear during our first conversation about retirement.”

“Fine,” she shrugged. “Assume he did. Assume Bucky knew everything that was going through your mind. Did it open any conversation?”

Your shoulders slumped. You looked away. 

Dr. G continued, “My point exactly. Of course, you don’t want to hurt him but you can’t hurt yourself in the process. How many people actually knew about the nightmares to begin with?”

“None,” you mumbled. And it was, sadly, the truth. Your coworker was the first to know. You hadn’t even had the guts to tell your parents. 

“I’m sure I make it sound easier than it really is but there are some benefits to it over time,” your therapist said after a moment. 

You let out a dramatic sigh. “You’re kind of annoying, you know that?”

Your therapist laughed. “You’ve been wanting to bite back for a while, haven’t you?” You didn’t answer. She shrugged. “Already testing out those communication skills I see.”

You let yourself roll your eyes this time.

***

It was nearing midnight when your cell phone rang. You jumped, suddenly disturbed by the ringtone as you laid on your couch watching some sitcom reruns. You frowned in confusion as you stretched to reach your phone on the coffee table. You weren’t expecting any calls.

You turned the screen around and were greeted by one name: Bucky. You just about yelped when it registered he was calling you -- and from his mission, amazingly. You sat up quickly and answered.

“Hi, Buck,” you greeted, hopefully sounding a bit more cheerful than you felt. Your therapy session from the morning still had you a bit shaken. 

“Hey, doll,” Bucky responded, his voice a bit hoarse. He sounded exhausted and...defeated. 

You sink into the couch. “Is everything going okay?” You guessed it wasn’t too weird he was reaching out while away but something was off in his voice. You thought you had already mentally prepared for the worst.

“For the most part,” he mumbled. “I have to tell you, sweetheart, it wasn’t smooth sailing. We… We all had to do some things we aren’t proud of.”

You shut your eyes, trying to reel in your panicked brain before you said something you’d regret. This couldn’t all fall on Bucky, it wasn’t fair. He had a job, one final job, and you were going to have to accept that. 

Regaining your voice, you said, “What… What things, Bucky?”

He fell silent on the other end. All you could hear was some soft breathing and others talking in the background. The rest of the team you could guess. You said his name into the receiver again.

“Just know I didn’t like what I had to do and I can’t wait to put this life behind me.”

If that was all you were getting from him, you’d have to accept it. “Okay,” you said, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I understand.” You didn’t really but you knew after tonight you definitely would.

Bucky took another pause. “You deserve so much better than this.”

“Bucky-,”

“You really do, sweetheart.”

“Bucky, please, listen,” you sighed. “While this isn’t ideal and I was very upset you just jumped on this assignment without speaking to me, I know it won’t be like this forever, right? 

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about the assignment before leaving,” Bucky responded. “I-I knew I couldn’t do anything about it but that’s still not fair to you. You deserve to be heard.”

“It’s okay, honey,” you said, fighting back some tears getting ready to start again. “You’re almost done, you’re almost back home.”

Bucky hummed. “I am,” he confirmed. “And when I get back I’m going to make up for all of this, I promise.”

You let out a weak laugh through the tears. “You can make it up to me by getting home safely.”

Bucky was about to say something else but was then cut off by someone yelling at him in the background. He gave a curt response before turning his attention back to you. “Sorry, doll, but I have to go. We have some debriefing to do.”

“Of course,” you said, waving a hand in the air like he could see you. “I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“See you soon, sweetheart,” he said. “Love you.”

The line cut before you had the chance to say the words back. You held your phone out in front of you, staring at your lit homescreen, shocked and overwhelmed. He loved you. And he had said it.

***

You were dreading getting ready to go to sleep but, at the same time, your body was practically begging for it. You were finally getting back into the swing of working and now with therapy sessions on top, you couldn’t believe how exhausting life was. As if you had forgotten at some point. 

But with that craved moment of relaxation, an unnerving threat lurked. 

You practically moved with caution when it came to your nighttime routine now. You washed your face carefully and precisely. You scrubbed every tooth again and again for a good minute. Even combing out your hair seemed to be tedious. 

It was all sad attempts at procrastination and you knew it but what could you do? It wasn’t like you were jumping into bed happily no matter how much your body screamed. 

When there was no more to do in your routine, you had to accept it. You had to finally lay down in your bed, let your head hit the pillow, curl up under the duvet, and welcome whatever kind of sleep was going to greet you. 

Almost immediately, you were hit with everything.

As always, you’re seeing it in glimpses from Bucky’s eyes, from his mind. In this instance, he appears to be located in some kind of warehouse. It almost reminded you of where you had been taken to but abandoned.

At first, Bucky seems pretty calm and collected. He’s assessing his surroundings and mapping out a plan. He says something to the person next to them. You can’t see them and possibly you don’t want to. 

They agree with whatever Bucky has suggested but before their plan can commence, they’re both attacked. Guns blazing, doors busting, a whole goddamn ambush. You’re panicking, you feel Bucky panicking. But it doesn’t last long for him. No, within seconds he’s in destruction mode, stomping towards the pop-up army - you don’t even know what they’re part of - dodging bullets and taking them down one by one. 

Some others are helping out it seems but you’re only allowed to be consumed with Bucky’s take on the situation. Despite how much you don’t want to be, especially when he… You see the glint of his metal arm rush past. They’re dying. Being killed. These soldiers or whatever are dropping left and right around him. You feel Bucky’s pulsing anger. He has no plans of slowing down. You feel the tension in his arm as he strangles another and another and another. At one point, he even throws some across the room.

They’re finished. No more men pour in. The rest of the team has stopped. They’re all looking at Bucky, wide-eyed and nervous. You feel his fury turn to shame. You didn’t know the mission’s expectations but you could guess they didn’t exactly involve this much death. No one says anything as they move on. 

The images fade but the feelings don’t. You suddenly want to cry in your sleep feeling Bucky’s distraught and embarrassment. 

Unable to deal with it anymore, you force yourself awake, everything vanishing as your eyes open. You look around your dark room. The clock beside your bed reads just past three a.m. 

You curl back into your blanket and face the wall. You stare at it for the rest of the night, heart pounding and hands shaking.

[catzula]

Bakugou isn’t afraid of bees

Request: Would Bakugou with an s/o the complete opposite of him be a better request? Like he has a partner whose shy, soft, doesn't curse, cute,etc?

A/N: soo, this is long overdue, and I'm really sorry for that! But I have a lot going on, family drama, school and I'm just going through a lot, and I love writing, it helps me cope with stress, but all these things happening just make me slower, I'm sorry for that :(

Thank you for requesting this, btw, I'm not tagging you because last time I tagged anyone I got shadowbanned 🤡 so I'm avoiding tagging people like the plague, but thank you so so much for requesting! Hope you like it 💕

Synopsis: going swimming with the Bakusquad seemed like a good idea, but it was always guaranteed to end with some kind of a disaster, also, Bakugou is afraid- ow, sorry! Bakugou dislikes bees.

Bakugou had told you, he had told you that it was a bad idea to go.

He knew it, they did, and even you did too, but you went anyway.

But it wasn't your fault that you just wanted to spice up your summer break, and going swimming with the Bakusquad seemed like a perfect idea!

And you knew Bakugou wouldn't make you go there alone, especially if you wore your go-to swimwear that you knew just looked good on you. The one he liked oh-so-much.

"No fucking way, Y/N." He told you the moment he saw you standing at the entrance of the room with your beach bag hanging from your shoulder.

"Oh, it's going to be fiiine," you told him with an innocent smile, emphasizing the last word. "Kami-kun told me that they found this small cliff we could jump from and- h-he told me its only 5 meters tops, not even a cliff, really!" You corrected yourself when you heard a growl you were a bit too familiar coming from him.

"Kami-kun?" He repeated. "Kami-kun's gonna be there, huh? And when you're wearing that?" 

"Well, yeah! He even told me they'll make camp if the weather allows it, if not, he told me not to worry cause he'll make a fire and have a drink of two, you know." You kept talking with an innocent smile he usually adored, but it only made him want to shake some sense into you at the moment.

"No," He told you through his teeth, voice dropping an octave and sending chills down your spine, his blood boiling with something he didn't want to name (jealousy), his right eye started to twitch as he thought of the many memories he had of lightweight Kaminari.

He started walking towards you, the look in his eyes reminding you of a wolf that was looking at its prey.

"Don’t fucking go there, especially without me." He was suddenly too close to you, well aware of the widening of your eyes as he hovered on your frame purposefully, making you feel small underneath him. He smiled when you inhaled a shaky breath when he smiled, his lips almost touching yours, but not quite.

"That's no good, I already told them I'm coming." You whispered with a smile, your eyes fixated on your hands, "Kami-kun was so happy to learn I was coming, though he did sadden a bit when he heard you couldn't." Bakugou was well aware of how your eyes widened when his hand touched your cheek, sliding down to your chin to tilt it towards his face. He knew you couldn't maintain eye contact when he looked at you like that and that caused a warm feeling to spread in his chest, Bakugou would never admit it, but he adored your shyness.

"Well then," he told you as he backed up just a bit, "tell him he doesn't have to be all that sad since I changed my mind."

***

To say that Bakugou was protective of you would be an understatement. His hand was attached to your waist, sometimes even sliding down just a bit to tease you every now and then, causing your face to heat up.

He didn't even let you go when Kirishima and Kaminari had hugged you to greet you, growling threateningly when he thought Kaminari hugged you a little too long.

Despite the act he had on of the threatening, scary boyfriend, though, you knew all he would do was glare and frown till you kissed him on the cheek and told him he was your one and only.

Still, you were grateful he actually came with you since you knew he wasn't a big fan of the sea and what came with it.

He especially despised mosquitoes, something he had named 'the curse', and he was right to do so, too, making it the most hilarious thing you had ever seen.

An 'unnatural phenomenon' as Kiri liked to call it, was that the mosquitoes loved Bakugou. Even though he always had a mosquito spray on him and renewed it almost every hour, it never worked, and he often got bitten at least 20 times a day. He did everything he could to try and stop them from biting him (except for killing them since he hated killing mosquitoes) Bakguou always had you applying cream to his bites he often turned into wounds because he couldn't help himself but itch them.

(Still, you had to admit that the curse came in handy time to time since whenever Bakugou was around, nobody else ever got bitten.)

He also hated sand, hated getting wet, was too pale, and usually got burned very easily, and most of all, he hated bees. He wasn't afraid of them, Bakugou Katsuki wasn't afraid of anything, but it was safe to say that he disliked the black-yellow striped creatures with every fiber in his body.

So even though he said he was just there because he didn't trust his dumbass friends, you knew it was because he could tell you wanted him there, and he came, despite hating almost everything. But he didn't hate you, and that was enough.

"Get the fuck away from me you little shit!" He screamed right next to your ear, making you wince and giggle. "Did you spray your-"

"Of course I fucking sprayed the bug repellant." He grumbled as he itched the newest bite, his voice was harsh and words hard, but you knew he wasn't mad at you and that it was unintentional.

"Don't itch it, Katsu." You told him, putting your hand on the bite to stop him from itching it anymore, and he could swear he felt the itch went away with your touch.

"I'll get back at you, you know, for forcing me to come here." He whispered into your ear, but you chose to play dumb and smile at him innocently. "But I didn't do anything, you said you wanted to come."

"Y/N, you know very well that-" His speech was interrupted by the joyful way your name was announced, a blonde skipping your way with a charming smile. "Y/N, hey, Y/N, come on, let's swim!" Kaminari cheered, holding you by the wrist and pulling you up to your feet, away from your fuming boyfriend.

"If you fucking touch her again-" He started to threaten but closed his mouth when he saw a frown forming on your lips. "Be careful, dumbass." He told you instead, trying and failing to suppress the smile that forced his lips upwards when you flashed him a cute smile.

"Don't' you wanna swim, too?" You asked sweetly, and he scoffed. "Of course, I don't wanna fucking swim." He muttered, playing with the grass he ripped from the ground. "Ah, the weather is so hot, a shame, Bakubro." Kaminari smiled and shrugged, but Bakugou noticed how his eyes widened when you took your beach clothes off and stood with your swimwear.

"Wh- Woah, Y/N, you look... really nice!" He told you, his cheeks turning into a rosy color, the interaction making the others turn to you, too. You felt your cheeks starting to heat up, not used to getting so much attention as you felt your boyfriend rise to his feet, his arm wrapping around your waist with a scoff.

"I thought you didn't want to swim." You told him with a giggle. "You seemed really opposed to the idea just then."

"I changed my mind, shitty woman." He growled. "Dunce face is right for once in his life, the weather is really fucking hot."

***

"Soo," Kaminari muttered, looking at his friends' faces. "Who's gonna jump first?"

He sighed when no one answered him. "Oh come on, you guys are no fun! Kiri? The manliest of our group, won't you be brave and-"

"Nope, sorry bro, I choose to live." He told him with an apologetic smile. "I'll go in second, though." He grinned cheekily, and Kaminari sighed. "How about you, Mina?" He tried his chance with the girl who avoided his eyes with all she had. "You're the most adventurous and the craziest, I'm sure only you can pull this off." He sent her a wink but was answered with another apologetic smile.

"Nope, same as Kiri here. I'll agree to jumping when I see somebody can survive."

"How about you, dunce face? Trying to force people to jump, but not brave enough to do it yourself?" Bakugou teased him, causing Kaminari's cheeks to take a red color. "I-it's not that I'm scared, but I just- just..." He looked at his friends for any kind of help, but they liked watching him squirm instead. You couldn't help but take note of just how close he stood near the edge, almost a push away. But, of course, you wouldn't push your boyfriend, would you?

"Huh, you have to be more clear, Kami-kun," he kept teasing. "Why won't you-"

"Ka-katsuki!" You suddenly interrupted the panic written on your face making his heartbeat to double. "Y/N, what's wrong?" He asked as he started to come towards you.

"N-no, don't move!" You told him, trying to ignore everyone looking at you like you lost your mind. "Katsuki, don't panic but there's a bee-" before you got to finished your sentence, Bakugou had already thrown himself off the cliff, a splash sound following it not long after.

Your friends watched you silently, trying to understand what the fuck just happened-except for Kirishima since he was well aware of Bakugou's dislike of bees-, it was your and Kirishima’s simultaneous laughs that caused Bakugou to understand you tricked him into jumping in.

"You know he's gonna get back at you for that, though, you know that right?" Kirishima asked with a mischievous smile and you bit your lip. "If he can get his hands on me, of course." You went near the edge, slightly leaning forward to take a peek at your boyfriend.

He looked so utterly annoyed, it was pure comedy for you, so you didn't notice Mina and Kirishima sneaking up on you as you kept teasing Bakugou. "And how is the water, Katsu?" You asked him with a teasing smile, though his answer was the last thing you heard before you were also wet.

"See for yourself!" He had cried out with a grin. The first thing you knew after you fell was the warm body of your boyfriend's. He had pulled you to himself almost immediately before you even got the chance to run away.

"So you think you can play with me like that and run away?" He asked, voice low on purpose to make you flushed. His face got closer to yours, his lips millimeters away from your trembling ones that didn't get used to the cold water yet. "Wh-what are you doing?" You exclaimed since you knew he hated PDA more than he did the sand, and he grinned, the kind of grin that caused your breath to hitch in your lungs. You combed back his heavy, spiky hair that fell on his face now instead.

"I'll-" you didn't get to hear what he was going to do since his little teasing game was interrupted by another loud splash that came from right next to you, making you scream with how close it was, Kaminari who had tried to jump right on top of you two. "That little shit-" Bakugou muttered as he swam towards him, his hands finding Denki's head the second he came out to surface, pushing him back in before he got the chance to breathe, and you felt bad for laughing at his screams that were coming from the underwater.

Thankfully, Kirishima didn't take long to jump and save the dumb blonde from your boyfriend's hands.

Mina was the last to jump, falling with a loud cry of victory, falling right on top of Kaminari, who was just rescued by Kirishima from Bakugou's hands, their odd friendship making you giggle and secretly long for something similar.

"So," Kaminari spoke when he was done coughing water, "who's ready for round two?"

***

"Ah, to have someone as adorable as her rub sunscreen to my back." Kaminari sighed loudly before he got Karate-chopped on the head. "Shut up if you don't want to get killed today." Kirishima told him, his eyes turning to the angry blonde that sat in front of you, taking a relieved breath when he realized Bakugou hadn't heard him.

Since Bakugou had jumped earlier than expected -thanks to you- he hadn't worn enough sunscreen, and it was your job to rub it on his skin and try and stop him from complaining about it the whole day.

"Ah, it fucking burns, dumbass." He hissed when your hand touched his bright red shoulders. "Oh, stop being a ba-" You bit your tongue before you got to finish that sentence when he glared at you. "I'm sorry, Katsu." You grinned cheekily, leaving the smallest peck on his shoulder. "There, feel better?"

He did, in fact, feel much better.

"Shut up." He told you, turning his face in front of him so you couldn't see his smile. He had the smile the whole time you rubbed soothing circles on his back and arms, smile turning to an immediate frown as you did his chest, but you knew how he was feeling, if not because you knew him well, his heartbeat gave it away.

He bit his lip, trying to suppress the sigh of relief as you massaged his muscles along with the sunscreen. "Okay, we're good to go." You told him when you finished, moving to stand up, but were held back when he got ahold of your wrist and pulled you back, making you fall on his lap.

"K-katsu, what are you doing?" You whispered, face burning with embarrassment. "I couldn't get my kiss back there." He told you with a smirk, his face getting closer to yours.

You held your breath, afraid his friends would see, but also longing for a kiss. You tilted your face upwards to receive his kiss, jumping in your place when you heard a loud whistle. "That's my boy!" Mina cheered, clapping, "get the girl!"

"For fucks sake, we can't even get a minute alone." He muttered angrily, standing up without kissing you. You held the hand he offered as you stood up, but he stopped you before you could even take a step.

"Watch where you're going, dumbass!" He told you angrily, his eyes locked on a shiny piece of glass right next to your foot. It wasn't the only one, either, big and small pieces of glass were scattered on the beach, some even being pushed back and forth by the waves.

"Don't swim anymore." He told you suddenly, eyes still on the pieces of glass. "Oh, I'll be fine!" You told him with an encouraging smile, but he didn't seem so persuaded. "I'll be careful, okay?" You told him one more time, knowing he couldn't resist your smile, and he gave in with a sigh not long after.

"It's getting dark already," he told you, "just one more jump."

You smiled with glee, running back to the water to tell them to go for another round of jumping.

What happened after that wasn't Bakugou's fault. He had told you not to go many times, but you did anyway, and now he had to deal with this.

You had jumped too close to the shore, the water wasn't as deep as it was supposed to. He could tell it wasn't the moment you touched the water and heard your muffled scream of pain. You surfaced the water with the look of pain on your face, and he hadn't missed a beat before he jumped down.

"What is happening? What happened?" He heard Mina's voices as he surfaced, his crimson eyes looking for your figure. "I think she hurt her leg." Kirishima answered, also getting ready to jump in. Bakugou spotted you trying to get back to the shore, holding your left leg as you pushed yourself with your arms and one leg.

He swam to you as fast as he could, his arms wrapping you and stopping your sloppy movements. You stilled as soon as you felt him pulling you to his chest, carrying you out of the water.

You were out of breath, and he could see the tears in the corner of your eyes. "What happened, baby?" He asked, concern laced in his voice when he saw the drops of blood dripping from your foot to the sand. "I- is it bleeding?" You asked, trying to hide the tremble in your voice. "I think I jumped on a piece of glass, or maybe a shell? I don't know."

"Okay, it's okay, don't worry about it, I'll take care of it." He soothed you, finding a good spot to put you. He felt your grip on him tightening when he tried to put you down. Thankfully, Kirishima had reached you as well, Bakugou nodded at him, receiving another nod from his best friend.

"I'll look at your leg now, okay?" Bakugou told you, and you nodded, biting your lip and trying not to cry. "Hey, Y/N?" Kirishima spoke, shielding your vision from seeing your leg. "Remember those brownies you made for us once? Did you know Mina tried to do them for us too, but ended up burning the kitchen?"

"Hey!" You heard Mina protesting as you laughed, she had also jumped and came to see what was happening. "You promised not to tell anyone!"

"Where's Kami?" You heard Kirishima whisper, and Mina smiled faintly. "You know he can't see blood."

"Should we go to a hospital?" Kirishima asked, and you whimpered. "No, no hospitals, I can't-"

Bakugou shook his head. "The cut's not that deep, we don't have to go to a hospital, but I have to clean and bandage this." Ksirihima finally moved away and you saw the cut on your leg. It was true, it wasn't very deep, but it still hurt a lot.

"We have to go back now," Bakugou told them as he swept you in his arms in bridal style and smirked at you. "'Im sorry," you told his friends, feeling bad about the fun ending because of you. "No, please don't say that!" Mina told you. "Yeah, we can do this again after you're well again!"

"Oh fuck no!" Bakugou growled, making you chuckle.

"Promise." Kirishima mouthed with a wink, and you chuckled again.

***

"You idiot." Bakugou muttered as he cleaned and finally wrapped the wound on your leg, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "I was fucking worried back there."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to jump on a glass." You told him with a pout, making him sigh. "Whatever, I’m just telling you to be fucking careful." He sat on the couch you were laying on, careful not to disturb you, the way he was acting as if you were a fragile doll making you roll your eyes.

"Can you get under the blanket already?"

"You're just trying to cuddle, you needy idiot." He told you grumpily, snickering when you didn't protest. "Yeah, I might be a needy idiot, but I'm a wounded needy idiot."

"Don't call yourself an idiot, dumbass." He told you with a light flick on the forehead and making you laugh, smiling when you laughed, doing as you said and getting under the blanket, his arms wrapping you and pulling you on top of his chest.

"How are you feeling?" He asked after a few minutes. You snuggled deeper into his chest, eyes already heavy with sleep. "It hurts a bit." You admitted, knowing he could tell if you lied.

You felt a soft peck on your lips.

"There," he muttered, recalling the way you soothed his burns earlier that day. "Any better?"

You grinned. "Much better."

[misterewrites]

A Part of Something Bigger (Welcome to the Underground!)

Hello everyone! E here, hoping you are safe and sound and doing good! The new chapter of the Underground is here and I'm excited for this and the next chapter. I am so happy I finally get to reveal something I’ve had in my head since I first started creating the Underground! Man am I cheek E. oh puns, I’m terrible. 

:D

I hope you are all have a great week! Stay safe, wash your hands, take care of each other, get the vaccine if you can, push for companies to give it world wide all that jazz. Feel free to comment (I love feedback) tell your friends, reblog I appreciate it all!

If you’re new and curious what the heck I’m talking about, feel free to check out the whole story and have access to my other work right in the link below (cuz I’m 95% Tumblr has shadowbanned me) 

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/pseuds/MrE42

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814297/chapters/68094967 (first chapter)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814297/chapters/78927370 (latest chapter) 

Have a great week, E is out!

Summary:  Turns out Oliver is a part of the Choir, a secret organization that operates within the Underground. Something big is happening tonight and It's up to Oliver and his allies to ensure it does not. However, the bard has to figure out what's going on before anything else.

-----

Oliver had been many things in the 18 years of his begrudging existence: An orphan, a thief, a con-kid, hopelessly in love, a scout, fry cook that one week and an aspiring minstrel. Many masks and different roles to survive each new day.

The one he took a quiet pride in was being a member of the Choir, a secret organization whose goal was to keep the Underground free from malicious and devious intent.

Every society had their dark, treacherous shadows where evil did its business (Oliver assumed. He only really ever lived in the Underground but you know universal constants and such.) The Choir’s purpose was to ensure those plans never came to fruition.

Rather than being an openly known identity, the Choir was more a loose collection of independent agents operating under secrecy. The organization employed any and everyone who was willing to fight for the cause, each in their own way: Merchants passed coded information, tavernkeepers offered safe havens, those with some level of magical proficiency gathered to study abnormal phenomenon. Fighters fought, clerics healed with lords and ladies used their influence for the greater good.

Sometimes, as is the case now, one individual was too limited for what was required of the organization’s purpose. In these rare moments, agents were granted permission to request help, often leaving hidden messages and imagery for other wandering members to respond to.

That’s what brought Oliver here to this dark alley in the middle of the night: When he first arrived to the capital, he caught sight of the coded symbol asking for any Choir member to lend their skill set to a mission tonight. No details added but that was par for the course.

Terri was the first to recover, her slivers eyes wide with wonder “A soprano? No joke?!Flora, he’s like you!”

Terri was tall, taller than anyone else here. She wore a red vest with torn off sleeves, probably because her muscles were too thick to actually allow them to exist in the first place. Her long jet black hair was elegantly tied into braids with her dark blue leggings tucked into thick hiking boots.

Flora pursed her lips thoughtfully, irises of lavender giving Oliver a curious look “A fellow magic user? Interesting. Wizard?”

“Bard” Oliver corrected “You?”

“Druid.” Flora spoke before drifting into an uncomfortable silence. Oliver suspected she wasn’t impressed by his response.

Flora seemed unassuming but Oliver knew better than to be lured in by appearances: Long silvery hair with petals of green and yellow flowers scattered within. She wore a white blouse with splotches of brown dirt and a long green skirt. Her feet were bare and free to be soiled by the floor.

Terri rushed over to the petrified Tyrell, dragging him into a bone crunching hug “Tyrell here is a baritone like me!”

Tyrell, the youngest beside Oliver, shifted his brown eyes away from anyone’s gaze. He wore rather well kept clothes: A tunic of purple tucked under a leather vest, his leggings were dark gray that blended fairly well in the darkness. His footwear seemed a little too fancy to be workman’s shoes.

“Fighters” Oliver nodded in understanding “Always useful. And you mysterious stranger in the darkness?”

The cloaked figure had pulled back deeper into the shadows, red eyes gleaming in the shades of night. They were trying to hard to hide their appearance but Oliver caught sight of a smooth featureless bronze face. Metallic armor of a matching color and sheen covered the rest of their body, an automaton it seems.

“You may call me Sel. I’m a tenor.” the figure responded, their voice tinged with scratchy static.

“You are going very useful. Lockpicking?”

Sel shrugged casually “Among other less savory techniques. As per usual for tenors.”

Oliver nodded “Okay, fill me in.”

Flora took a step forward, pulling a letter out of her pocket as she did so “Are you aware of one Reiner Brambleoak?”

“Oh fucking hell” Oliver rubbed his eyes tiredly “Him again? What’s he planning this time: Gonna burn an orphanage? Or maybe sell moldy food to the poor? Wait, I know!” Oliver snapped his finger “He’s going to be a terrible piece of shit.”

“Right on the money!” Terri growled.

Sel let out a mechanical click “He is planning to tear down several homes in West Haven.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes “I thought it was illegal to tear down homes in that area?”

“Not if the owners signed them over.” Flora explained “Then he would have the authority to do whatever he wished with them.”

“Let me guess, he tricked them?”

Terri flexed her muscles angrily “His representatives would change languages and double talk when they spoke to the poor folks. Most hadn’t the slightest idea what was going on and the orc thugs his people brought didn’t exactly make them feel warm and safe.”

“So.” Oliver stretched his arms “He’s strong armed his way into property, going to evict helpless folks onto the street and probably fill them with his own thugs to get the rest of the neighborhood to fall in line.”

“Unless we stop him.” Sel spoke with righteous fury.

“Tonight.” Oliver chimed in “Throwing another party?”

“You are good.” Tyrell whistled.

Oliver gave a playful wink “Naturally. What’s the plan?”

Flora reached into her pack and handed Oliver a letter: it was written in such a fancy hand he swore he was getting a headache just looking at it.

“One for each of us.” Flora explained, distributing the rest to the others “A fellow Choir member secured these tonight’s mission.”

“Helpful. Alright here’s the plan….”

“Wait” Flora interrupted “Who said you are in charge bard?”

“Me” Oliver countered with a grin “Because I’ve been to these types of festivities. Have any of you?”

Flora opened her mouth then promptly closed it, irritation in her glance. Tyrell gave a sheepish but unhelpful smile, Sel remained silent while Terri gave a thoughtful scratch of her chin.

“Thought so.” Oliver tried to keep the smugness out of his voice “Look we just need to work together for tonight.”

“Agreed.” Flora spoke with a softness that did not match her glare.

Sel inched closer to the group “What is the plan Oliver?”

“Where’s the party? Merchant Ward? I assume he’s using his office to host it.”

“Correct” Sel confirmed “His office has been chosen as the venue. He claims to be throwing the party as some sort of fundraiser for a charity that is no doubt a front for his illegal operations.”

Terri huffed, crossing her arms furiously “Probably making some more deals to trick people out of their hard earn money.”

“Without a doubt” Oliver agreed “But without any hard proof, we’re not taking him down tonight. Our mission is to ensure those contracts he forced people to sign mysteriously disappear.”

“Will that actually stop him?” Tyrell frowned unhappily “What’s stop him from forging new ones? Or just bullying people again?”

“He can’t forge new ones” Oliver explained carefully “They’re a special type of document only found here in Haven’s Nest. You can only get them from city hall and they’re magically enchanted to be untamperable with. He’ll need to get the ones he has to city hall on open court day which I assume is soon.”

“Indeed. Tomorrow in fact.”

Oliver continued on “So since open court day is the only day any major changes are allowed to be introduced to the city, if we grab them he’ll have to wait a month for another chance of snatching up that land. He’ll no doubt try to bully the folks again but now that they know what he’s up to, hopefully they’ll won’t be as easily pressured and if a few rough looking folks who can take punches and give them back start hanging around the neighborhood when his goons come knocking again…”

“They’re gonna be less eager” Terri cracked her knuckles cheerfully, already savoring the feel of bruised skin and broken bones that would bless her hands.

Oliver caught Tyrell’s eyes “One problem at a time. If you look at the mountain, you’re going to get scared.”

Tyrell nodded timidly in agreement.

“So.” Sel’s voice crackled with curiosity “What is the plan bard?”

Oliver closed his eyes, mentally mapping out the Brambleoak bank: three stories of corrupted, immoral finance who preyed on the helpless and lost. He could still see the faded green hue and cracked paint of the building in his mind’s eye. The ground floor would no doubt be where the bulk of the party would be taking place: a large space with an elevated stage normally reserved for long winded speeches could easily repurposed for a band or some sort of entertainment. His guests would range from any and everyone with any amount of influence or wealth. The second floor were the offices of his lecherous employees while his office took up the entirety of the third floor.

“Alright” Oliver spoke after a moment “I have a good idea what to expect. We’re going to break up into two teams.”

Everyone stared him expectedly.

Oliver gestured to Terri and Tyrell “You two are going to hang out at the bar across the street: The Stinkeye. Charming place, ran by a former pirate captain. Sunday is sea shanty night I think."

“Whoa, wait a minute” Terri grumbled unhappily “I am not letting Flora go into that place without me! It’s enemy turf and I don’t feel comfortable with the idea."

Flora took Terri’s hand within her own “Agreed sweetie.”

“Look this isn’t exactly a fist loaded, knives out situation. Any sort of brawling inside will be dealt with swiftly and painfully. Brambleoak doesn’t like anything scaring away the prey and causing a scene inside won’t accomplish anything. Outside, however.”

Terri’s eyes knowingly sparkled, Tyrell just looked dumbfounded.

Oliver gestured with his hand, muttering a phrase under his breath as magic formed around his hand in a golden light. A small image appeared in his palm: A heavily scarred elf with ashy blonde hair, one eye a brilliant forest green the other dull and cloudy. He wore an elegant officer’s uniform, dark green with various medals pinned to his chest with a long flowing red cape that trailed behind.

Oliver opened mouth to speak but Terri’s low snarl beat him to the punch.

“Lea Foot.”

“Acquaintance I guess?””

Flora nodded, gently squeezing Terri’s hand to get her to calm down “Lea has been a constant thorn in our sides. I believe he suspects we are a part of some greater organization. He has never seen us but he sends his underlings to bully us.”

“So I don’t need to explain his whole mercenaries for hire deal. Been exclusive to Brambleoak for a while now.”

“Can I punch him?” Terri murmured darkly.

“Yes, can she?” Flora chimed in, unable to keep the plead out of her voice.

Oliver shook his head “Maybe but we’ll see. He’s gotta show up at some point but I doubt he’ll be there right at the start. Likes to push old people around, probably eat a child or two before ‘working.’ Your job is to keep him distracted at all costs. He’s a sick man that likes to watch a good fight and the longer he’s out there, the better chance we’ll have.”

Sel tilted their head quizzically “Why is it important to keep him outside?”

“Basically” Oliver cracked his fingers “He’s very perceptive and the person most likely to catch our plan in action. His crew is made up of a nobodies with a perchance for cruelty and a thirst for violence but Lea is an old hand. Keeping himself outside is the best chance for success and if you guys accidentally get too close and managed to stray a hit his way…”

Terri chuckled manically the idea. Tyrell just looked sick.

“Meanwhile Flora, Sel and I will be inside. We’ll be looking for a chance to get Sel into the stairway so he can break into Brambleoak’s office. Without any sort of information, there’s no point to flesh out a full plan but we’ll make it up as we go. It’s a giant party of people who think they’re special. Shouldn’t be too hard to cause some drama and distractions.”

Flora said silent for a moment before speaking up “It’s not a lot to work with but admittedly better than anything I would’ve come up with.”

“Agreed.” Sel added “Without proper intel, it would be pointless to attempt to formulate any sort of long term plan. This works best to our strengths. Wait and create an opportunity,”

“That’s on us.” Oliver cut in “Your job is to get in and out. Preferably without being seen but who knows what will happen.”

The group, previously lost and anxious, glowed with renew sense of purpose and determination: 10 minutes ago they had no plan and now they were ready to do what they signed up for.

“Get ready team” Oliver gestured about “We leave in five.”

Everyone broke away to prepare for the mission: Terri cracked every bone in her body, ready for any brawl she would start. Sel slunk back into the shadows and remained still among the darkness. Tyrell held leaned unevenly against the brick building nearby, trying to steady his breathing.

Flora, on the other hand, approached Oliver, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“Oliver.”

“Flora.”

“I have a question for you.”

Oliver was confused “I’m not sure what about but go ahead.”

Flora pursed her lips “You were coming from West End, delivering a package to a Choir member out there correct?”

“Yeeeeees.” Oliver unsure where this was going “The old man. Lady Rozalin said it was the upmost importance.”

Flora bit her cheek nervously “Before you left, did you see him?”

His stomach turned cold as he remembered how uneasy he felt the day he left with Archie and Abigail, the chill that ran down his spine “No, why?”

“We haven’t been able to contact him. He is not responding to our wizards long range message spells. We’re…..worried.”

Oliver could feel his skin crawl with anxiety, his pulse raced as a horrible realization dawned on him.

“He’s missing.” Oliver spoke what Flora did not.

She nodded in response “As a high ranking member, he is important to our cause and since you were the last person to see him, the higher ups were wondering if anything suspicious happened the last day you spoke with him.”

Oliver remembered it clearly: The free money, rushing them out the door, his ‘tiredness.’ There was no such thing as free money in his mentor’s eyes and Roland was never known for pushing a guest out of his house or being tired in the middle of the day. He was attempting to get them to leave to prevent something from happening.

“He was acting weird.” Oliver admitted “At the time I found it strange but he gave me little room to argue. Now I’m wishing I had.”

Flora’s face was indifferent but Oliver could hear the sincerity in her voice “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. If you need a moment…”

“No” Oliver cut her off quickly “I’m good. We have a mission to do and we need to focus on that now. Afterwards we can talk about finding out what happened to the old man.”

Flora gave a simple nod before wandering over to Terri’s side, lightly kissing her cheek with affection.

Oliver took a deep calming breath: There was no point to let his mind wander, to worry about things out of his control. Even if he wanted to do something, he was needed here and now. Besides the Choir would investigate Roland’s disappearance and there were agents far more experienced than he about.

He would leave it up to them. For the moment he needed to balance out the universe and root out the evil that laid in the shadows.

[1tsnoya]

HI love can you do a HC where the reader is in like a 'team slumber party" w the whole Karasuno vbc bc hONESTLY my heart is so soft for that idea like they're all jus vibing 😭😭 love my babies so much

IMPORTANT | a/n: i believe that i’m shadowbanned so my message history disappeared and my posts will probs slack for a bit >:( pls don’t mind </3 super sorry babes ! hopefully it gets resolved soon

✧･ﾟkarasuno sleepover✧･ﾟ headcanons

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

↳ it was like 2 in the morning and the gc with the volleyball club was blowing up

↳ everyone was awake and it was just CHAOS

↳ so it made you wonder — wtf would a giant sleepover with us all be like

↳ so u asked just that in the gc

↳ the responses were...

tsuki: no way

yams: cmon it’d be so much fun!!

kageyama: sure

hinata: LETS DO IT

noya: FUCK IT UPPP

tanaka: YUH GET INTO IT

daichi: sounds interesting

tsuki: fine

suga: i’m down!

asahi: me too!

yachi: i’m scared

kiyoko: it’ll be fine yachi

↳ so it was scheduled for friday night at 6pm

↳ and when everyone got there WOW it was so loud there was so much going on

↳ everyone finally calmed down when pizza was ordered hksksjhs

↳ a debate about pineapple on pizza went down

↳ HUGE SUPER MARIO PARTY GAME HOLY SHIT

↳ there were 12 of you (including yourself) and max was 8 players so kiyoko, yachi, asahi, and tanaka sat out

↳ tanaka was yelling at noya and hyping him up though and so was asahi at suga

↳ hinata picked diddy, kageyama picked the goomba, tsuki picked bowser jr, yamaguchi picked shy guy, suga picked yoshi, daichi picked donkey kong HSHSJJSH, and noya picked wario obvi

↳ so. much. SCREAMING

↳ tanaka: “NOYA OHMY- dont fuck this up you need to roll 4- LETS GO BABY LETS GET A-”

↳ he rolled a 4 pure luck and him and tanaka started running around screaming “LETS GOOOOO”

↳ tsuki: “you have 0 stars”

↳ noya: “wtf i’m still gonna win-”

↳ daichi was clueless at first but then really started getting into it

↳ suga was hyping everyone up but was super determined to win

↳ kageyama had the WORST luck. he could have sworn that the game was against him

↳ hinata made fun of him HAA

↳ SUPER CLOSE GAME BETWEEN SUGA AND TSUKISHIMA

↳ tsuki won are u fr?

↳ after another round, tanaka and noya suggested spin the bottle

↳ sigh

↳ they obviously were hoping to kiss kiyoko

↳ she played ONE round. ONE

↳ landed on yachi ofc<3

↳ SO MUCH YELLING WHEN IT WAS JUST A QUICK AND SMALL PECK BETWEEN THEM

↳ yachi was so nervous it was hilarious

↳ OH AND THEN IT LANDED ON TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI

↳ tsuki did it like it was NOTHING

↳ cue the screaming. again

↳ after a few more turns, it started getting late so asahi took some uno cards out of his bag

↳ everybody changed into their jammies and sat in a circle

↳ hinata was wearing some old tee from grammar school as his pj shirt and the first and second years FLAMED him

↳ anyways. uno game. right

↳ tell me why daichi got the worst cards every turn

↳ hinata was peeking at other people’s cards

↳ kageyama was pissed off by how many cards he kept having to pick up

↳ so. many. plus 4 cards. from suga

↳ but ohohoh he got some karma

↳ yamaguchi placed down a +4 to give to yachi (he picked it up and was s o s o r r y) then she placed another one down to give to hinata, THEN HE PLACED ANOTHER +4 AND LASTLY TANAKA ADDED 4 AND GAVE IT TO SUGA

↳ 16 fucking cards- he was scared

↳ yamaguchi won <3

↳ and then asahi whipped out another game

↳ family feud....

↳ you can already tell how bad this is gonna get

↳ team #1 consisted of: hinata, kageyama, daichi, yachi, nishinoya

↳ team #2: tsukishima, asahi, suga, kiyoko, tanaka

↳ yamaguchi wanted to be the steve harvey of the night so you helped him keep track of points

↳ in the gc, asahi texted a msg for someone to bring a button

↳ tanaka brought a “nut” one 💀

↳ you placed it in the middle of the table. boom. what could go wrong?

↳ round one began...

↳ tanaka vs daichi

↳ yams: “name something you find sand in after a day at the beach”

↳ the fucking button SLAMMED AGAINST THAT TABLE AND SOUNDED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO BREAK

↳ tanaka: “MY ASS-”

↳ the GIGGLING THAT ESCAPED EVERYONE’S MOUTHS-

↳ daichi was just “:O um. my turn-or?”

↳ noya: did he get the point?

↳ kageyama: he is on the OTHER TEAM

↳ hinata: i guess but it was a good answer..

↳ i’m pretty sure you can already guess what team won

↳ a few more rounds were played and it was like midnight so you put a movie on

↳ tanaka noya and hinata sat in the front, laughing at every single thing going on

↳ kageyama: “hinata if u don’t shut ur FUCKING MOUTH”

↳ yamaguchi: “can you raise the volume?”

↳ tsukishima: “no they just need to shut the fuck up before i go over there and-”

↳ a pillow was thrown...

↳ shit went down..

↳ asahi: “come on guys let’s just watch the movie”

↳ daichi threw a pillow at him

↳ cue the surprised pikachu face @ daichi

↳ yachi was sCared

↳ so her, kiyoko, and you snuck off to the bathroom while chaos erupted between the boys

↳ kiyoko: “okay when they all fall asleep, i want to mess with them”

↳ yachi: “are you sure that they won’t kill us-?”

↳ OHOHOHO a plan was devised

↳ you three waited until the screaming died down a bit and then walked out

↳ feathers everywhere, uno cards all over the floor, and the nut button was smashed...

↳ wtf happened you left to the bathroom for like 6 minutes-

↳ “ummm...”

↳ “so...”

↳ “bed..time?”

↳ it was 1:30 in the morning and i’m sure you can already tell who was wide awake

↳ daichi, kageyama, asahi, yamaguchi, and tsukishima were trying to get ready to sleep

↳ you and the girls were trying to stay awake for your little plan

↳ hinata, noya, tanaka, and suga were just... wired

↳ yeah did suga surprise u? nope not me. that boy is chaotic at sleepovers don’t @ me

↳ they set up a smash game (while the others were sleeping) so tsuki woke back up to beat everyones ass-

↳ it started getting loud until daichi got up like - “shut✨the fuck✨up✨”

↳ so everyone quieted down HSJSHS

↳ you joined in on the game and teams were formed

↳ you and tsuki vs hinata, noya, and suga

↳ tsuki: “just pls don’t fuck this up-”

↳ you and him won😫obvi

↳ at the end when it was only tsuki and suga, he kept RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM

↳ suga was just — :p u cant catch me

↳ and when he did.. yikes..

↳ everyone eventually fell asleep

↳ except you, kiyoko, and yachi

↳ kageyama grumbles in his sleep, daichi sleeps like a serial killer, suga was just-he looked like an angel, asahi was lowkey breathing loud, noya and tanaka were SPOONING, hinata kicks in his sleep, tsuki sleeps with his headphones in?? and yamaguchi turns around every second

↳ it was time for the plan nehehehe

↳ kiyoko put makeup on kageyama, tanaka, and asahi

↳ yachi started doodling on daichi’s, noya’s, and yamaguchi’s faces

↳ you put an alarm set to go off in the morning and blast ‘deepthroat’ by cupcakke on tsuki’s phone ***yes he still had his headphones in

↳ and you all put some creepy clown doll right next to hinata’s face so that it could be the first thing he wakes up to

↳ next thing you know it’s 7AM and all you hear is “hUMPME FUCK ME-”

↳ tsuki was the first one awake and was already grumpy

↳ he thought that it was noya and tanaka’s idea to mess with him so he like shoved them awake

↳ “cupcakke? really?” and then he stopped to look at their faces

↳ yachi drew some fucked up shit on noya’s face and tanaka was wearing red lipstick with pink eyeshadow

↳ “it’s too early for this...” HE LEFT TO THE BATHROOM LMFAO

↳ oh god and then everyone woke up

↳ you and the girls were fake sleeping and listening to it all go down

↳ breakfast was.. interesting

↳ hinata was traumatized from that clown incident (he scream sounded like it came from his little sister) the boys were trying to rub off their makeup and it was smudged all over their faces, and the other boys were just ... trying to ignore the drawings on them

↳ ofc yachi drew a mustache on daichi

↳ oh and noya was trying to play the drawings off as tattoos😔

↳ you don’t even wanna know about breakfast-

↳ everyone agreed on pancakes and well...

↳ batter was everywhere and the smoke detector went off

[musicdork]

jjba social media/tiktok au!! (hcs)

there’s a lot about josuke im so sorry sfjlesfejk,, it started out as just him and then i was like “”,, what about other people?”” other’s are at the very end

it’s pretty fuckin long i,, im so sorry hh,, also my thought process was kinda Everywhere with this so like,, hope you can still enjoy this haha

[ edit ] this’ll be like,,, a masterpost or something for my hcs so this is,, very long,,

- you CANNOT tell me that Josuke isn't the kind of person who'd make thirst traps n him just being confident in his body like!!!

- tiktok josuke would be a blessing for me

- he'd make the thirst traps but in the caption be all embarrassed about it and like???? hOW ADORABLE!!!!

- i also feel like he'd make some gaming jokes,,,

- then ppl see jotaro a couple times and are like 👁️👄👁️💦

- OH MY GOD

- WHAT IF HE GOT OKUYASU N KOICHI TO DO SOME DANCES WITH HIM!!! or just them generally being dorks n they have a whole fanbase

- AND THE GIRLS AND THE GAYS GO BATSHIT LMAO (he's on gay tiktok, period. and like, other niche n weird spaces of tiktok)

- josuke's making a tiktok and it starts off in his room. he points up n text appears, "you guys wanna know how joot and i are related?"

- then he does a basic transition to where he's at jotaro's hotel room, having him and jotaro in frame with an arm wrapped around his shoulder.

- josuke's grinning

- jotaro has no fuckin clue whats going on

- a text appears above them, "say hello to my little nephew"

- i can see josuke doing povs, not the cringey kind but some that would be comforting for others;; who really need it.

- for his username my brain came up with starboy99 but he would definitely have his full name at the top of the screen

- probably part japanese to shorten the amount of characters he has to use (what i should've said is part KANJI n part romanji but hhh)

- i feel like he uses they pronouns too

- i have to think of his bio 👀

- definitely have his pronouns

- maybe a small quote? "just here to have a bizarre adventure! 💫"

- maybe something like that

- DEFINITELY have that he's a minor cause when he didn't have that,,, a lot of adults were simping for him and i feel that would make him Uncomfy

- he's adequate at transitions, but doesn't take too much time to learn them tbh. he's definitely the person to have vloggy type of tiktoks where he just shows a minute of his day

- absolutely would have okuyasu in his tiktoks with them doing dumb shit (like pranking rohan hehe) and them just being DORKS. a lot of ppl would think they're dating or just have a really good bromance

- he got a second of jotaro with his hat off and everyone died that day

- jotaro's in his tiktoks but very rarely

- when he is, people go BATSHIT with the simping

- i can see his following being fairly decent, and him getting decent traction but would also get shadowbanned a couple of times

- he definitely talks about retro games a lot and makes memes centered around them

- i can't say for certain what side(s) of tiktok he's on except for the obvious gay tiktok

- the more wholesome side, definitely activism, some povs, splash in some diversity, maybe japanese tiktok?? im sure that exists

- idk the more obscure sides,,

- he's a casual tiktoker for sure, maybe posting twice a week

- when he's especially bored he might post a couple times in a day, maybe an hour :'))

- i take that back, maybe three times? three times sounds fair

here’s a little break for your eyes lmao, there were a Lot more than i thought holy shit,,

-  JOSEPH (P2!) WOULD DEFINITELY HAVE TIKTOK SJSNS

- rohan makes two tiktoks

- they both blow up (and act like they don’t know nobodayy HAHAHA)

- he has a large following (mainly jap)

- but he barely uses tiktok after that

- i can't see giorno having social media tbh

-  he'd try to predict the algorithm based on the stuff he posts when he first gets the app.

- its mainly just him being a goof with a couple thirst traps thrown in there once he realizes "oh shit, i have simps?"

- caesar is featured once n already has a fanbase under joseph's acc (joseph's not jealous or anything,, nooo,,,,)

- like he's in the mafia,,,

- wait

- or maybe he just takes really good pictures of nature,,, i can see that

- a lot of people ask "where is this dude's parents,,,"

- narancia,, is the one who has tiktok (in bucci gang)

- mista would always (not ALWAYS but very. often.) find ways to be in them/photobomb

- i can see his (narancia’s) fyp being like super wholesome with some dumb memes but also popular music covers

- like rock covers or sumn similar

i deadass thought i had a couple for johnathan and erina too but!! can’t find them so,,

-  so one day he makes a tiktok, inside the turtle lmao

- at first he's like "why are you guys asking where my parents are;;"

- the camera flips to abbacchio and bruno

- "they're right here"

- cue a chuckling giorno and a laughing mista

- they do all the couple tiktoks together,, all the cute ones at least. i can see them doing the more wholesome dances too! they would all around just be the cute couple everyone else aims to be

- also thought i had some part 3 hcs saved?? wtf my saving skills are terrible,,

- polnareff is the one with tiktok. he would go around filming small snippets of stuff that happens with the crusaders (ignoring that,,, tiktok Did Not exist at the time haha)

- jotaro and kakyoin were definitely featured in his tiktoks!! i can see avdol with his arms folded being like “...we have better things to do--”

- but pol is like “but the fans, avdol! think about the content they’ll be missing out on!!”

- he’s hopeless LMAO. but honestly?? he'd make a good vlogger too!! his charisma would definitely be to his advantage

- you bet your ass that oldseph photobombs any chance he gets lmaooo he’s also the guy that a small part of polnareff’s fans simp for. 

- actually, each crusader has their own small fanbase within pol’s tiktok account. i feel the majority would be fans of jotaro and polnareff (it is his acc,,)

- jotaro’s fyp, when he reluctantly gets tiktok, consists of animals,, animal facts, funny animal tiktoks, ocean tiktoks for sure, just a lot of naturey stuff!! but he barely uses it though haha

- kakyoin uses tiktok every now and then! i feel he would prefer instagram more. he mainly posts his artworks, and the occasional retro game case hehe. he does the Dumbest shit on his “close friends” story, it’s great. i feel that’s also where he goes to ramble about whatever’s on his mind

- avdol definitely has a work instagram, only using it for his fortune telling business and trying to network with different tarot readers and fortune tellers. he likes the small community he has,, hehe,,

whoever read all this I'll cry in your arms

[ktheist]

hello! saw your post about your fic not showing in tags and it took you three tries before it showed. Was there something you did differently for it to start showing? Asking as a fellow writer. Had same issues before and I gave up I just stopped writing 😭. I noticed even if I post on my sideblog, just to test, it won't show. I'm figuring there must be content that's appearing as spam that's why it's getting blocked

miss gurl it took me too many tries to count but it happened to me 3 times on 3 different fics 😭 my earlier statement must’ve been confusing or i might’ve phrased it wrong, sorry.

but i’m sorry tumblr is being a big nasty turd to you (and possibly many other writers we don’t know of because well, tumblr decides not to show these writers’ content in tags).

there could be a lot of factors but i’ll try to explain what i remember since i forget things too fast (take it w a grain of salt though bc we don’t know why or what made our posts not show up in tags).

the fics that didn’t show up:

1. this fic and its sequel never showed up in tags no matter how many times i repost. probably tried like 5 times for the first part. changed the title but also didn’t work so i gave up. didn’t even bother reposting for the second part because i was too tired to be stressed out but yeah i gave up and decided to just pin it instead (i recently took it down bc it’s been there too long lol)

2. this fic showed up only in certain tags. forgot how many times i tried with this one but i know it’s less than 5 times. after the latest repost, i asked some lovely people if they could check out some tags and see if they could see the fic too. they all said they could see it in certain tags but not all the tags that were tagged in the fic (i’m sorry i can’t english) ):

this is when i found out that i saw what they saw and tumblr’s “theres a bajilion content being released every minute, just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean others don’t!” is a lie. but it did pretty well (surprisingly).

tl;dr if you can’t see it, others probably can’t see it too

3. the fic we’re talking about rn. i tried like 5 times minimum and what really did it for me was:

i posted without the title and without the pic.

after posting, i checked the tags and see it showed up for some

then, i added the title and pic

why i thought it didn’t show up:

all of the fics that didn’t show up had mature theme in them so i always thought that was the reason. i’m not sure if yours was mature or not but for mine, it’s still sus because we have mature themed fics everywhere and those show up in tags. and tumblr may have banned p*rn but nor written erotica.

but you mentioned that it could be because our fics are treated as spam which could also be it but at the same time... what’s the difference between our fics and the rest that showed up in tags?

on the sideblog:

i have a burner sideblog that i made to post little fics too and surprisingly, all the posts showed up in tags. but when i posted the jimin fic there, it didn’t show up in tags.

so i’m assuming tumblr picked up on the contents / distinct characteristics of the fic eg. title, pic, certain words used on it and decide to shadowban it regardless of which blog it’s posted from. 

but we never really know for sure /: 

it’s demotivating when this happens and i’m sorry tumblr made you stop writing altogether but i wish you the best in your writing endeavor even if you’re not writing now. i always believe sometimes we need to take a break maybe for a month, maybe for a year but we’ll eventually pick up that wip / idea we were thinking about and start writing again. i truly hope the same goes for you and that if you’re not writing right now, you will in the future. and if you are writing but not posting on tumblr or any other platform, i hope you find happiness in building your own world through writing <3

[yandere-sins]

hi there!! i've been following you for a while, and i've finally gotten the balls to open my own yandere blog. I was wondering if you had any tips, or anything that you would've wanted to know beforehand!! i hope you have a lovely day/evening, and that you stay safe!!

Hey!! That’s amazing, let me know your handle, I’d love to read your writings ^-^ It’s a big step but I am sure you’ll do great and I hope you have a lot of fun! Only recently someone asked me on my Arcana Blog what my advice to people with a new Tumblr blog was. You can find my answer here!

As for what I would have liked to know before I started one... hmmm... I guess there are three things I had to learn the hardest over the years:

Nobody cares about your rules. As harsh as it sounds, it’s better to know your own boundaries and just delete requests that go against them, instead of always referring to your rules and point towards them. I wouldn’t even bother with making any (though it can help if you want to make a point in any kind of arguing about why you did this and that), because maybe like 20% of the requesters are really going to be interested in them. Every time someone requests something against them, you will feel angry about it and upset because you will feel like your rules (aka feelings) mean nothing to those people. That’s just bad vibes you don’t need in your life. And if you’re not careful, and are really offended, you call out someone who will then start to argue and hate on you. That’s really not something you need. Take the requests as they come and form them into what you are comfortable with/what inspires you, or just delete them so you don’t have to constantly look at them.

Turn off notifications! I learned this much too late. It really ruined my nights and mental health that I’d constantly check notifications on my phone to see if my posts get seen and stuff. I highly recommend turning off notifications so you only see what’s happening when you log into the Tumblr app or website. It will also help a bit with not comparing notes with other artists and just overall does good for your mental health. Just remember that you also won’t be notified about private messages anymore this way, but if you check on the app regularly and in a healthy way, it won’t matter much.

Interact with others! Something that even I haven’t learned after so much time is how to get yourself into connection with others in your field. It can be amazing to make friends in your field of creativity for inspiration and thoughts-exchange. But also, it can help grow your blogs because you two can collaborate and followers will be able to find the other’s blog through those projects. There are only good aspects in any way, though of course, be reasonable when moving around in fandoms and try to not get into any discourse that isn’t yours just for the sake of being liked or anything. Fandoms can be really bad sometimes, so try to just find a few people you like to hang with and culture your relationships with them! That’s enough already ^^

Technically, I said these points in the post linked above already too but I just wanted to give them another go. All that I mentioned in the other post is of course important for growing as a blog, but those three tips here were something I really wish I had learned early so I wouldn’t have had to find out the hard time or end up struggling with them.

Also I want to mention that when you create a new Tumblr blog, you’ll probably get shadowbanned for the first two weeks or so, to verify you’re not spamming and a bot. I feel like it’s easier to go around the shadowban if you use a side blog, but if you don’t mind the low period for a while, you should make a new Tumblr so you can have your writing blog as its own blog. It’s better for interactions!

Anyhow, I wish you a lot of fun! I love my yandere blog very much and I feel very welcome and happy in the community, so I am sure you’ll do great too! ^^

Stay safe too!

[meimi-haneoka]

Clear Card chapter 39 - review

AT LONG LAST!

Real life really takes the will to do lengthy things away from me, even if it’s for fun.

But I love Cardcaptor Sakura so much, so I take this almost as a “duty” to pay respect to this wonderful series. I love when things are done properly and not left “hanging”, so here we go, even if a bit delayed compared to usual: (long)THOUGHTS ON CHAPTER 39 under the cut!!

I’d like to start with a small consideration before going with plot-centric rants: I have noticed the post with this chapter obtained a lot less notes than usual, but it’s a trend that has been going on for a while. I’m not really sure what could be the cause, it can range from Tumblr shadowbanning posts from the tag search if they include a link (so the posts are not visible that much anymore, despite my efforts to make a second text post), to people preferring other sources to get their chapters (and that’s fine), to the fandom moving altogether to other sites and communities, or....to the fandom’s interest slowly fading away. Since it seems we’re almost going towards the climax, I’m not sure how to react to the latter option. I think this is supposed to be the moment in which the fandom’s interest is the more active, but I could be wrong. Anyway, if that’s the case, then I guess it’s really time for CLAMP to wrap it up.

Without further ado, let’s analyze this chapter!

The color page was L O V E L Y. Oh my gosh Sakura-chan, look how grown up you appear here. More beautiful than ever. She’s even re-using a sweater from another color illustration, lol. It’s perfectly fitting with the autumn season and I loved it!

Let’s bother her a little more

Starting off from where we left in ch. 38, Sakura is blown away and Syaoran tries to have The Shadow look for her once again, but....”fooled once, not fooled twice” thinks Kaito, isn’t it? Kaito wants Sakura to do stuff on her own, so he literally “throws” her into a dark tree hole, where her shadow can’t be traced, because well....there’s none. He isn’t looking particularly amused while he does this, well, what I mean is that it’s not like he’s having sadistic fun, causing her troubles. His face is kinda apologetic when he's all “here comes the knight but thanks, no thanks”, as if he understands that Syaoran wants to save her, but he cannot really do otherwise. Sakura needs to do this alone, in order to produce a fitting card. Would you care to tell us readers what this damned card is, Kaito?

The first conversation

Kaito is in the mood for some memories. Memories of the first time he spoke with Akiho. I found it interesting that he used the verb “having a conversation with” rather than “meeting”, and the reason is also pretty easy to guess: for him, it wasn’t the first time. He saw her (although from afar) when he analyzed her through that ball, to determine whether she had magical powers or not.  And their first conversation didn’t start in the best of ways: Akiho’s first reaction is to run away. But what can you expect from a little girl who was used to be considered a bother and only basing on her magical capabilities, and not as a human being. So when Kaito asks her if he bothered her, her confusion is plain visible on her face: Is he talking to me? Me, who is usually the bothering one here?

And so she’s surprised big time when he actually shows to be interested to know which book she was reading. NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE ever did that for her. Remember what environment she grew up in. He is the first and only one wanting to even have a conversation with her (her family only made “questions”). By the way, thanks to Impatient Scans, we actually aknowledge Akiho here might be reading “Momo”, by German writer Michael Ende. That opens a whole new box of questions, starting from “IS THIS where Momo takes her name from? Who gave it to her? What is her real name? Could the story actually be giving plot hints?”

All in all, let me just say I loved this flashback. I always love when there’s a Kaito or Akiho flashback, because I’m so hungry for their background story. I know the story has to sacrifice a bit of the other characters in order to show more of them, because 30 pages are just 30 pages, after all. But it’s ok, that’s also the reason why I’m glad I warmed up to both of these 2, because every month I have more things to look forward to, and I generally am never disappointed with a chapter’s content.

There’s no turning back

As if on cue, Momo starts an inner monologue on Kaito and Akiho, and how much he changed for her.

He really didn’t care about anything, before. He couldn’t be bothered to do anything. He was a very apathetic boy, some fans have theorized he could be on the brink of depression himself without even realizing it (again, consider what a shitty environment he grew up in, a den of delinquents).

And yet.

Among all those criminals, he raised his hand. His voice loud and clear, “I’ll go”. He, the boy who found everything a bother, decided something for himself for the first time ever, and to assist someone else, no less. Momo wonders, to herself, what changed inside of you? Cause something must have changed.

This was another part I really really loved. All the memories of their travels together. You can see the different countries they’ve been to, and their body language, that implies there was still some kind of “distance” between them. Akiho seems still kinda “wary” of Kaito in these shots (and with a reason, who would trust anyone if they were raised up like she did?). But we can see them being more relaxed and at ease the more they spend time together, and it’s on this time spent together that Momo puts the focus on. It’s where Kaito should ideally start to find the answer to the big, complex question.

What made you do this?

Momo muses over how Kaito learned to do all sorts of things in order to please Akiho and to make her live in a healthy environment (remember Akiho saying that Kaito makes by hand all her meals?), finally not neglected but at the center of someone’s attentions. She makes a random example on the tea. Why someone who didn’t give sh*t about how tea tasted, went all the way down to learn how to make it in a delicious way? I love how CLAMP cleverly used the word 術 with the furigana “sube”, which means “how to do something”, but with the same kanji and the reading “jutsu” it also means “spell”. This probably to imply that some magic might have been included in this learning process, err. XD

I also loved how Momo thinks that Kaito needs to look at the truth straight in the eyes, without turning away. Could he be scared to admit the truth? Loving someone (and hear me again, love of any kind, not romantic love exclusively) comes with a little fear. For someone who never experienced it, all the more. It’s a totalizing feeling that might destabilize you.  If he doesn’t wake up to this, it’s gonna be too late. That’s literally what Momo says.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE SHOCKER OF THIS MONTH! Momo and Akiho’s mom knew eachother, and Momo even received her ring and the task to look over her daughter, and Sakura as well. “My Alice, and that girl’s Alice”. I mean, I knew Akiho’s mom was going to be important, but dammit she really looks like she’s been the one moving some plot threads since long time!!! I love this.

The nightmare

And here comes the part where I start screaming “WHAT THE F*CK IS HAPPENING HERE”. Sakura finds herself in a strange land with big flowers (she’s still tiny, let’s remember that), flowers that can actually speak. At her surprised face, the flowers reply “You wished for this, didn’t you?”.

EH?

And then we get to this creepy scene of Akiho appearing out of nowhere, with her experiment outfit, calling Sakura in a dead tone. I was seriously freaking out at the panel composition. Made entirely to evoke creepiness. Apparently, we’re in Alice’s story. Yes. BUT WHICH ALICE?

The strange reality turns into a nightmare. Literally.

Everything turns dark, Sakura is having another one of her dreams. The “shaaan” and the clocks are a sign of it. MCF appears behind Akiho, who this time is in the same position she was when she was turned into a magical artifact by her clan. Sakura’s face twists in horror even before MCF opens his robe, because she knows who’s under it. The last time she saw MCF in a dream was also the last time she saw who was under it. Her heart and mind scarred irreparably forever. And there he is. Syaoran, dead in his eyes. Sakura’s shrieks “NO!!��� in horror, she completely refuses to believe this is a real thing. Now, I don’t really know what’s happening here, because after this, everything breaks and she captures GUESS WHAT, the “Break” card. So it’s hard to determine if it was a real dream or only an illusion. Maybe Kaito made her go into her subconscious to find bits and pieces of what she experienced before, in order to shake her enough to produce the right card. Because, if all of this is coming from her, then it means a part of her brain does remember despite the time rewindings of Kaito. And it’s very important. She saw Akiho’s past when she was trapped inside Akiho’s book, but all of that was erased when Kaito rewound time. Well, not from her heart, however, because she hugged Akiho tightly while crying. So now what do we have here? A part of what she’s not supposed to remember. I think this vision is a twisted mix of horrifying things she saw previously, and indeed her natural reaction is to destroy in pieces what she’s seeing. Quite literally, since the two kanji for “Break” actually mean “Destruction”. Is this the card Kaito was looking for? I’m not sure. Because he said that “Rewind” went quite close to it, and I can’t make out any relation between “Break” and “Rewind”. I still have the impression the card he might want her to make has got more to do with “restoring” things to how they were before. So, if it’s instead Kaito the one who made her see those things, he might have wanted her to wish to bring everything as it was before. HE needed a strong reaction from her. But she made “Break” instead. Will it be ok for him so we can move on to the climax?

I have to admit I kinda loved the more creepy and nightmare-ish atmosphere of the last 10 pages. Sakura evidently has got something big going on, and it’s time she talks to Syaoran about this. It’s time she tells him fair and square what’s she’s seeing more and more often. It’s about him too, at this point. She can’t keep this a secret anymore, not when it’s eating her sanity and peace of mind away.

Next chapter is going to be published in the February issue, in stores on the last days of December if everything goes as usual (for New Year’s they always anticipate the release of that issue). So we have another unexpected break as I already said, and I kinda figured it when I saw CLAMP going on a trip 20 days ago. It’s ok, we can do this! If we’re approaching the climax, it make sense that they take vacation now, so afterwards they can work fully straight into the finale.

Thanks for reading this long rant, and I wait for your comments!

[yeonchi]

A Final Word About the Log Off Protest

So for the past week, I’ve been participating in the third stage of the log off protest. According to the organiser, the protest apparently made Verizon’s stock drop again to a level that we saw following the first protest.

Once again, the protest wasn’t just about the NSFW ban or anything else that resulted from it. This article lists all the things that happened since the Tumblr app was first taken off the Apple App Store. Some new controversial features were introduced over the past week (as if it wasn’t coincidental enough), such as a “facelift” and a topical “group chat”. In addition to this, a “100 paragraph limit” was brought to light, although this was fake news because it only applied to the app and not on the actual website.

If you don’t like the new blue, then Xkit has an extension that will allow you to change it back. Honestly though, I do find the colour a bit jarring on my desktop or on the app, but I don’t see that much of a difference on my laptop when I have it on low brightness (which I usually do).

During the week, there were a couple of times when I accidentally found myself on Tumblr, though I made sure to leave quickly. The organisers have decided to end the protest here, though I would have stopped participating at this point anyway even if they continued. I probably couldn’t bear staying off Tumblr for longer even with my casual attitude of checking things every now and again.

I understand that there are some fans who have decided to completely log off or delete their accounts as a result of these events. It will be sad to lose you if you are one of those people, though you can still find me on Facebook.

In the aftermath thoughts post I did following the first log off protest, I used the first half of a section from the Tana Mongeau Content Cop to make a point about how all posts with “female-presenting nipples” should be allowed or not allowed, without making exceptions for any reason. I didn’t write anything based on the second half because I wasn’t sure how to word it, however, I feel that I have an idea how to do that now, so here it is.

Like I said in that post, children will stumble on “female-presenting nipples” at some point as they grow up, whether real, drawn or animated. You can decide not to see them if you want (by not watching porn, for one), but chances are that you will see them, one way or another. Even if you’re a male and you’ve never seen a female nipple before, you can have an image in your head of what they look like because you can’t necessarily tell them apart. As such, we become more and more desensitised to nipples as we keep seeing them, to the point where looking at a nipple (or a breast, for that matter) basically means nothing because it doesn’t have the same allure it had when we first saw them. So by highlighting “female-presenting nipples” as something evil while making exceptions for what is allowed to be posted, Tumblr has given “female-presenting nipples” the power that they so desperately want it to not have.

According to people on the #logoffprotest and #phasethree2019 hashtags on Twitter, Tumblr has been deleting reviews on their app store pages to keep their ratings up. I’ve also heard that people’s Tumblrs have been shadowbanned or in rare cases, terminated as a result of these events or the protest (though I have no solid confirmation as to whether this is the case or not). Tumblr has always been lax when it comes to enforcing their rules, which is the reason why Nazi blogs and child porn blogs are finding ways around this so they can continue. This leads some people into a situation where they think they can call Tumblr’s bluff by talking shit about them on Tumblr only to have their accounts deleted because they can’t take criticism. To adapt a little quote from the end of the Keemstar Content Cop (which I also used to respond to a certain hater of mine a couple of years back), “Oh, you’ll ruin our careers, Tumblr? Good fucking luck. You’re not gonna ruin our careers because we’ve shown you why you’re not gonna ruin our careers.” I don’t want to tempt fate, but this is honestly becoming a dare at this point. Koei Tecmo or any other Japanese game company never stooped to that level when they were faced with #NoDubNoBuy or criticism regarding the omission of English voices from their localised games.

In September and October last year, an event called the “National Fuel Strike” was started on Facebook in response to the rising fuel prices in Australia. I denounced it as the equivalent of #NoDubNoBuy because the government doesn’t care about it and even if they did, the same thing would happen years later. I didn’t want to compare the log off protest to #NoDubNoBuy, but at this point, it might as well be.

The organisers have also been harassed by opinion-neutrals and trolls who are seemingly in support of Tumblr’s decision. If Tumblr hasn’t pissed you off already and you’re still in support of them, then you might as well kill yourself because you can’t respect our opinions or know what it’s like to be in our position (much as I hate to say it now).

For a website who is known for being left-leaning and also claims to empower marginalised demographics such as women and the LGBT community, they are surprisingly accepting of far-right groups, although this can really be chalked down to Tumblr’s apathy. I haven’t had any Nazi blogs follow me, although like porn blogs and porn bots, they will be blocked if they do.

Like I said before, there is pretty much no way that Tumblr can reverse the damage they did at this point because it’s already been done. All they can really do is keep driving it into the ground and either not make any progress or cause their own downfall.

When the NSFW ban was first announced, people found their posts being flagged and there was no way to see all of them on one simple page. Luckily, however, they did so at the start of last month, which was why I was able to appeal the erroneously flagged posts on the Waifu Network.

I’m not going to delete my Tumblr or switch platforms because I have no interest in them and it will be hard to regain whatever following I have. The Ecchi Waifu Network will remain as it is and the main Waifu Network will resume posting soon. If it does become necessary for me to switch however, you will hear about it on Facebook. I will keep on using Tumblr because I only think of it as a way to simulcast my anime posts and post things that are too long for Facebook. My ranting days are already over with the end of the Dub Logistics series, so now I’m just posting things I find interesting as a way to maintain the positivity on here.

This is going to be the last time that I’ll be talking about the log off protest, the NSFW ban or anything else related to them. As with many others here, we implore Tumblr to do the right thing and at least do something about the Nazis, pedophiles and porn bots instead of silencing people who truly care and have something to say about it. Even then, Tumblr is no better than Koei Tecmo at this point - in fact, I would have to say that they are worse, because they have been ignoring their fans and silencing them while also flexing on them with posts that are meant to distract people from the real problems. If my Tumblr gets deleted because of this post, then it proves everything that I and many others have said about this.