#and every joke ending with ‘POOP!!’

[bilboyagathechickenfootedhobbit]

Not me singing this to my son all the time when he was a baby and then hearing it in an old Futurama the other night and crying because now my sweet adorable baby is a six year old lunatic who is powered by farts and an absurd amount of sarcasm for such a small human.

[ququoquaw]

honestly ice spice was probably at her best on boys a liar pt 2

[delusionsofgrandeur13]

pt. 2

you just saw your ex boyfriend, dick grayson, for the first time since he broke up with you.

you ran into him on the street.

no, like, literally ran into him.

you were walking your mom’s dog for her, a german shepherd she got when you moved out. she’d aptly named him trouble. despite his name, trouble was usually a mellow guy, even if he was huge. walking him was just another thing you were doing to try and ignore the thoughts constantly pounding out a beat in your head.

oh, dick would think this is funny! that’s dick’s favorite color, i should buy it! dick and i should go there on our next date!

and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on and-

anyways, you were definitely trying to keep yourself busy.

any time a memory popped up in your brain of him—

laughing at your jokes, holding you close while you fell asleep, kissing your neck while he thrust into you

—you’d empty the dishwasher, paint your nails, (any color but blue) turn on reality tv, read a book, stuff your face, whatever.

anything to stop fucking thinking about him and his stupid blue eyes and his dumb smile.

you’d been been watching the news, sprawled across the couch. just the regular gotham news: don’t use main street, mr. freeze’s ray iced out the pavement. the iceberg lounge had been raided by the police for the third time this month. the justice league defeated yet another extraterrestrial threat to humanity, blah, blah, blah. you weren’t really watching. the news program ended, and the next one started. a gotham gossip show. they were doing a special segment on the wayne family.

of course they fucking were. even your tv was conspiring against you. you had to resist the urge to chuck the remote at it.

you turned it off instead, heading to your room to get ready for a run.

(running for exercise or running from your thoughts?)

your mom had asked you to take trouble right before you’d walked out the door, and so you grabbed him and his leash and headed out. you’d forgotten the bags for his poop, but you didn’t think you would be out that long, so you just kept on going.

you were wearing the leggings dick had bought you, ones he joked should be a specific blue color. you hadn’t understood then, but you more than understood now. it was warmer, and so you just had on an old sports bra on top, and some converse.

you were not the athletic type. that was dick. probably still was. you wouldn’t really know.

you hadn’t talked since it happened, like three or four weeks ago.

time had become a little fuzzy. your mom said you could stay with her as long as you needed, but you were starting to get the itch to move out.

nothing against your mom, it’s just hard to sob really loudly into a pint of ice cream when she’s there.

and she keeps trying to wash the one shirt of dick’s you still have. you know, fully well, how dumb it is, (and a little gross) but you’re still wearing his shirt every night to bed. and maybe it’s all in your head, but it still smells like him. you aren’t ready to wash it. besides, now that you’re sleeping by yourself, you’re pretty sure it’s helping you fall asleep. something that was hard to do the first few nights without your big warm boyfriend next to you in bed.

it probably isn’t good for you, to keep wearing his shirt.

you’d had your hand between your thighs more than once late at night thinking about being enveloped in his scent. your nights were haunted with thoughts of his body over yours, his phantom voice in your ear. calling you angel, asking you if this was heaven, like the last time you’d had sex.

it definitely isn’t good for you.

but neither is life without dick grayson.

you try not to dwell on the fact that dick had given you a sort of non-reason for the breakup. sure, it got lonely sometimes, or you got anxious for your masked boyfriend, so you cried. so what if your patience wore thin after a few too many “i’m sorry, angel, i can’t make it this time”-s.

you were human!

but you’d never, never once complained about his absence or his commitments to his family.

never.

he’d just assumed you were silently suffering and it really irked you if you thought about it for too long. you still weren’t sure if you were mad at him or sad, or whatever. it felt like your brain couldn’t decide on an emotion so you just got twelve at once. but what you did know for sure was that he was 110% worth it to you. you just wish he’d realize that. see that. instead of just the times you were a little emotionally strung out. your ex boyfriend was too willing to sacrifice his own mental health for the sake of yours and you were sick of it. but you didn’t know if you had the courage to say that to him. or even see him, after the way this breakup had hit you.

your friends had managed to get you out of the house, a few times now.

you’d gotten almost too drunk every time, escaping your friends and going outside to get some air. this time, you saw a guy that looked just enough like dick, and it’d all been too much. so you got out of there. you sat yourself down on the curb, looking up at the hazy rooftops. you were always looking up. always.

and since the break up, you’d noticed the vigilantes of your city more often. maybe there was more criminal activity. maybe you were just paying more attention than you used to.

you’d seen spoiler and orphan, pounding the pavement behind you to run after some seedy looking guy holding a briefcase. you think spoiler tried to high five you on the way past, but there was no way. you wrote it off as your memory embellishing things.

you were pretty sure red hood had nodded at you before disappearing down a fire escape on the other side of the building.

your mom had recently gotten a delivery of security cameras for her house. but she hadn’t ordered them. the shipping address had only the address of some warehouse on the dock, the name just, ‘R.R.’ you’d set the cameras up, but you and your mom both were still baffled about it.

and here, sitting on the curb, you were staring at what looked like a dark figure crouched on the rooftop opposite. they’d been there when you’d entered the club, too.

you squinted, trying to make out shoulders and suit colors, when they stood up, and the light bounced off his shiny cowl.

fucking batman?

you shook your head, trying to shake your drunk brain like an etch-a-sketch. there was actually no way.

a smaller figure, one you hadn’t seen behind the shape of batman (!?) pulled a weapon, a gleaming silver sword, and pointed it at you. your head spun. batman (there was no way) shook his head at robin. he sheathed his sword, throwing his hands up in what looked like annoyance. you blinked, and they were gone.

you weren’t really sure if it had happened or not. you’d been trying not to think too hard about the fact that you still hadn’t seen nightwing. you’d really been trying.

so instead, you were walking your mom’s dog.

trouble had, in fact, pooped, and you were frantically looking around for something to pick it up with. gotham was already shitty enough without the addition of, well, literal shit. the streets were busy, but not crowded, and someone down the block whistled for a cab, catching your attention. you turned, and at the same time, trouble jerked your arm, pulling you backwards into someone walking on the sidewalk. the stranger made a choked sound.

“trouble??”

your heart stopped. you held your breath, turning around.

trouble was at attention, looking up at your ex-boyfriend with his head cocked.

dick’s eyes were wide. his hair shorter than you remember. he leaned down to scratch trouble behind the ears, his biceps and shoulder muscles in hard relief. are you dreaming? you didn’t recognize the shirt he had on, but he was wearing your favorite jeans of his, and his matching converse. your mouth felt like a desert.

trouble trails around the two of you, the leash long. he loves your ex-boyfriend, you know he won’t go anywhere.

“did you cut your hair?” you take a step forward. dick does too.

“i-” he clears his throat. “i did. do you like it?” he shifts his eyes, his cheeks bright pink.

you make a show of looking it over. he turns his head so you can see it from all angles. like he always did when he got a haircut.

your chest hurts.

you nod approvingly, flashing him a weak smile.

“it looks really nice. you’re very-” your face heats as you stop yourself. “it looks very handsome.”

that’s an understatement. you would’ve climbed him like a tree the minute he’d come home looking like that. the way his biceps were bulging out of his shirt sleeves could not be good for his circulation. it was great for yours, your heart was beating a mile a minute.

dick smiles down at you, stepping forward again.

“thanks.” he looks down, taking in your outfit. “nice leggings, ang-” he’s cut off when trouble spots a squirrel and darts, barking wildly. the problem is, trouble had been walking his leashed self around you and dick.

you’re now chest to chest with your ex boyfriend in the middle of a sidewalk, tied to him by rope. you vaguely hear trouble whine at the way his collar bit into his neck from the leash pulling taut. you didn’t even have the time to process the fact that he had almost called you angel. which was probably a good thing.

you’re breathing heavily, while dick doesn’t seem to be breathing at all.

he’s put his arms around you on instinct, and you hate the way you feel like you’re home. a shiver runs up your spine at the sudden closeness, and dick peers down at you through half-lids. your mouth dries up again. you suddenly feel indignant.

“you are not allowed to breakup with me and then show up and look at me like that!” you hiss at him.

you would throw up your hands in exasperation if they weren’t basically pinned to dick’s body. a smile breaks across his face, his bright blue eyes telling you everything you need to know. he stares at you, studying you. you wonder if he can feel how hard your heart is beating.

“alfred taught me a new recipe.” he blurts, his hand clutching at your back.

he’s adorable. but you school your face and raise an eyebrow at him.

“..oookay?”

dick blushes, his face sheepish. “i could make it for you, if you wanted.”

“what i want is an apology.” you look him up and down.

your ex boyfriend grimaces, squeezing his eyes shut. “understandable.”

“on your hands and knees. i think this is one of those begging-for-my-forgiveness type situations, don’t you think?”

dick nods, a strand of hair falling across his forehead. his eyes flash.

“you don’t have to worry about getting me on my knees.”

one heartbeat pounds behind your ribs, the other one between your legs. you huff out a weird sort of nervous laugh.

“oh, i’m not joking.” his lips curve up in a smile, one you know very well. he obviously plans to make up on lost time.

you forgot how charming he was. you have to practically force yourself to breathe. you’d do anything to have the real thing over his old t-shirt. you give yourself a mental shake.

he can flirt all he wants, but what about your heart? you look up at him, and his face softens, his pupils huge.

“can you get us untangled?”

dick nods, whistling for trouble. he frees an arm and grabs trouble’s collar, guiding him back around so the leash falls to the sidewalk. you step back, taking a deep breath. you’re cold at the sudden loss of his body heat. it’s a harsh reminder of reality. you grab trouble’s leash, having him sit. you look at your ex boyfriend.

“thanks.” you take another deep breath. “can you promise me something, though?”

he nods, his face serious. “anything. anything at all.”

“promise you won’t break my heart again?” you hold out your pinky finger.

dick coughs, surprised at your words. he looks down, taking a shaky breath. he’s in disbelief, he’s ecstatic, he’s on top of the world, he…has a lot of apologizing to do.

when he looks back up to offer up his own pinky, his eyes are shining. the sight makes your heart melt. you take his finger in yours, beaming up at him.

he gives you a soft smile in return. “i promise.”

you take your hand back, feeling the most hopeful you have in a month.

a breeze picks up, and the whiff you get reminds you of your earlier predicament. you look down. dick looks down too.

shit. literally.

you forgot about the fact that trouble had used the sidewalk as a toilet.

“is that trouble’s?” he asks.

you nod, making a face. “i forgot the poop bags.”

“rookie mistake.” dick shakes his head, smiling. you look him up and down, and then turn, walking back the way you came.

“text me about that recipe!” you lift your hand in a wave.

“but-..uh, the shit?” he calls after you.

“that’s alllll you, baby!” you yell back, practically skipping away. you feel like you’re floating.

[seat-safety-switch]

"The ocean is basically all pee," I announce proudly to a packed audience of the United Nations Ocean Conference. They are hanging on my every word, and as well they should. Ever since my brilliant invention to clean the ocean of microplastic (it's free plastic, dude) everyone has been waiting for me to drip my secrets about water in their ears. Little naval joke there.

Seizing the moment, I click to the next slide, which is difficult because it's just the photo album on my phone (I procrastinated until the last minute.) I hold it up, way up, above the podium, but I am pretty sure that at the very least the delegates in the back cannot read the contents of the screen. When I return the phone to my pocket, I realize that I accidentally brushed the screen, and it was showing the esteemed minds of our generation a picture of my cat the entire time. Oops.

"You have to realize," I stumbled over my words quickly, changing the subject, "everyone who pees eventually has that pee end up in the ocean. Rainclouds? Also all pee. Some of it, I believe, is dinosaur pee." That last one is pure conjecture, of course, but I know that I have to give the newspaper journalists something to go on. Tomorrow's New York Times will lead with a picture of my ghoulish face and a headline: "STRANGE MAN SAYS DINOSAUR URINE COULD CHANGE BALANCE OF ELECTION." I am beginning to lose some scientists, however, who are squabbling about each other in the back, angry at some generalization or glib oversimplification I have made. I rushed to correct myself, so as not to lose face in front of these powerful nerds.

"Some of it is also poop," I add. The audience goes wild.

[carnelianfoxx]

When I was 14 (or 15?) I was thrown into a school-wide film competition. The production went fucking awful. I had never wrangled so many people together before. Since we were all freshman, we were a rowdy bunch, and most of what I recorded made little sense and was impossible to work with.

So when I sat down to edit (at my church’s computer, because I had no machine to edit with at home), I decided to turn the whole thing into a youtube poop. Funny cuts, random xD jokes, and goofy editing. I had very rudimentary knowledge of Final Cut Pro 7 and photoshop so that made things exponentially harder. I did the best I could in a trial by fire.

I keep thinking about the day I was waiting for my parents to pick me up to take me home after working on it. I thought I was going to die. The footage sucked. The editing was embarrassing. It was an extremely low point in my life. The entire school was going to see this. There were tears.

The day of the premiere, I was prepared for the worst. Why did I do this? Why did I think I could compete against the school? There were seniors who had help from their teachers. I was all alone.

But when my film played, I was no longer alone. It was a hit. Every joke landed, every goof made the student body roar with laughter, and my classmates kept looking at me as if I was a hero. Seniors asked me what software I used to make the video. The “random xD” humor was perfect. It ended up possibly being one of the happiest days of my life.

I had a recording on my iPod touch of everyone’s reactions. I watched it on repeat for a long, long time. It was the first time I was recognized for an achievement with film. I always made videos before, but never had this kind of audience, and certainly not this nice of a reception.

I didn’t win the competition, but second place isn’t bad for a freshman. Everyone laughed the hardest at mine and talked about mine the most.

The iPod recording of the student reactions is long gone now, and I would give anything to see it again. I guess I have to go forward and make new memories.

[fiftyfiftyfinchy]

Things ArthurTV would do in a relationship <3 (Part 2)

Meticulously plans themed movie nights where you both dress up as characters and invite all your friends, but his costume is always hilariously underwhelming.

Writes you cheesy, handwritten notes and hides them in random places like your bag, shoes, or cereal box.

Gets overly invested in your favorite TV show, then bombards you with theories and plot predictions like he’s part of the writers’ room.

Invents a secret handshake that gets more ridiculous every time you do it, but insists it’s “our thing.”

Runs a ‘science experiment’ to find the best brands of tea, involving blind taste tests and spreadsheets.

Accidentally calls your parents ‘mate’ when he meets them and cringes about it for weeks afterward.

Creates a “Relationship Museum” folder on his phone filled with candid pictures of you, funny screenshots of your conversations, and inside jokes.

Acts like a tourist in your own city, insisting you both go to the most cliché spots and take cheesy photos together.

Freaks out when you’re sick, bringing you soup, tissues, and about twelve unnecessary over-the-counter remedies, taking your temperature each hour, googling how far away the nearest hospital is.

Does a dramatic reading of your text arguments (after you’ve made up) in silly voices to make you laugh.

Becomes unreasonably attached to a stuffed animal you win at a carnival, naming it and treating it like part of the family.

Casually drops ‘fun facts’ into everyday conversations, like, “Did you know that wombat poop is cube-shaped due to their unique digestive system?”—then gets defensive when you tell him you’re trying to eat. .

Insists on celebrating obscure holidays like National Pizza Day or World UFO Day with themed activities and matching outfits.

Attempts to learn a new hobby with you, but ends up making a mess (e.g., flour everywhere during a bread-making attempt).

Gets competitive during board games, accusing you of cheating in the most ridiculous ways, like “You rolled the dice too confidently.”

Leaves you voice notes of him narrating his day in the style of a nature documentary, with commentary like, “Here we see Arthur in his natural habitat: the kitchen, scavenging for snacks.”

Takes you stargazing, only to completely forget the picnic blanket but makes up for it by knowing the scientific names for constellations and the mythology behind them.

[indie-ttrpg-of-the-week]

His Majesty the Worm

its wormin' time Genre: Dark(?) Fantasy, Dungeon Crawler, OSR

Touchstones: Classic TTRPGs, Dungeon Meshi

What is this game?: His Majesty the Worm is a Tarot-Based game that aims to take all the boring parts of OSR and make them into goofy and fun features

How's the gameplay?: Hoo boy, this is gonna be a dense one His Majesty the Worm takes on a Maximalist approach to game design, with many sub-mechanics affecting your overall performance, the core game's mechanic is using Tarot instead of Dice for randomization, while a Tarot deck (w/ minor arcana) is recommended, the game is designed so a standard 52 card deck could also work, albeit not recommended. Whenever a character needs to do something a TEST OF FATE starts, characters have stats based on the Arcana's suits, Wands, Pentacles, Cups, and Swords, and whenever a TEST OF FATE starts, they draw a card from the Minor Arcana deck, then add that stat to the number they drew (Face cards are 11-14, Fool is a 0). Characters have a choice between 4 paths (also corresponding to the Suits in a minor arcana deck), a Kith (species), and a Motif (a quick sum up for your character), if I wanted to play a crotchety wizard asshole I would play a Path of Wands character with the Motif "Grumpy Scholar" and the Kith Underfolk, since my wizard is a halfling. The game is split between two distinct phases, Crawling and Citying, The crawling phase is going into the megadungeon and looking around for loot, while the City phase is going into town and buying shit! This game really focuses down on the minor, mundane parts of adventuring, Food management, Managing what you're currently holding, Torch supplying, Equipment Upkeep, and Weight management are all vital parts of a character, this might sound boring, and in any other game it'd be! BUT his Majesty the Worm is built entirely around these granular, seemingly inconsequential mechanics, they feel warranted and fun. The game also has an in-depth Guild building mechanic, after paying the 50% tax that all adventurers must pay to enter town, you gotta use up all that gold from dungeons somewhere! and the best place to put it in is equipment, but second place is helping out your community by starting an adventurer's guild! By investing your hard earned gold into your community you can build many things! like Taverns, Unflattering statues of your rival guildmasters, Monasteries, and other such fun things! This isn't even getting into things like Sorcery and Alchemy and how those end up mattering, Status effects, Language management being a part of gameplay… His Majesty is a maximalist game in every way, but it knows how to blend all of its strange and seemingly menial mechanics to make a very fun experience, it takes some of the most unfun games in the market and goes "Ok but what if it worked?"

What's the setting (If any) like?: Uhhhh, there's a setting alright! It shows up in bits and pieces of flavor text and the like, but there doesn't seem to be a setting guide or anything, the setting is fairly malleable, but a general dark fantasy vibe is the norm, the game explicitly says its not supposed to have a set in bedrock setting

What's the tone?: Goofy Dark Fantasy, its a grim world, but its also silly and pokes fun at tropes of the genre as well as just has copious amounts of poop jokes, its not a game to be taken seriously tonally speaking

Session length: 4 hours minimum, this is a complex game

Number of Players: 5 is my recommendation, 1 gm and 1 player of each path

Malleability: Very malleable! its an explicit design goal!

Resources: The game's website has many resources available, including an online tarot deck, player sheets, and a guild sheet

I really didn't think I'd like this game that much! it's an extremely well made and well thought out look at the OSR genre, if we keep getting OSR game I hope they look more like His Majesty

[jadeoru]

coffee beans.

synopsis: valentine's day was spent the same way every year: coffee, and studying, all while trying her best to avoid the happy couples in love. unfortunately, her tradition was interrupted by a clumsy pretty barista. or: kiyoko felt like she wasn't capable of feeling love, turns out she's just gay

warnings/tags: reader is a barista! fluff, meet-ugly, afab!reader, reader is referred to as a girl, kiyoko's pov, kiyoko is an anxious shy mess (me too), flirting (pathetic), kiyoko's gay awakening lmfao, kiyoko's a la dispute fan because i said so, poop jokes, i actually hate how this turned out but oh well, wrote this for the 3 kiyoko lovers of the world

wc: 3.5k words

now playing: very cliché but definitely girls - girl in red lmao 🎶

Kiyoko saw love as a waste of time. She lived her whole life in a society held together by the prospect of love. It chased her in many forms: her parents, her friends, music, art, - she knew it well. In her childhood, love was just another friend of hers; a familiar taste on her tongue, similar to her mother’s cooking. It was a feeling of home. But as she grew up, the flavour grew progressively more acrid; bitter. She watched as her friends changed, each of them infatuated by the weird feeling. Everyone around her had a crush on someone. Conversations with her friends quickly became dull. No one was the same as they got older. Everyone around her was falling in love; a victim of cupid's spell. She felt left out; ostracised. In her eyes, love seemed like a trap; a chain, connecting you to someone for the rest of your life. She never understood the appeal, and how everyone saw the cruel, suffocating feeling as a warm embrace - whirling inside of you. She was frustrated. It was stressful not knowing what was wrong with her - why she was so different from her peers. She tried relationships, they always felt wrong. She was asked out by 2 different guys, each time she said yes. She agreed not because the feeling was mutual, but because she hoped she could force herself to feel the same. In the end, she discovered that butterflies are just colourful moths that find home inside of your gut, and mess everything up as they inevitably rot away. Cupid shot Kiyoko with their arrow on multiple occasions; each time left her on the cusp of bleeding out. All everyone cared about was love. As everyone around her found their person, she found herself slowly left behind. Love was in the air, and she was allergic.

In a way, her friends felt bad for her. They didn’t understand, and honestly, neither did she. They frequently tried setting her up on dates. She met all kinds of guys, each one somewhat worse than the last. Every date felt so strange; something wasn’t right. Was that how all dates went? - That’s it? She honestly felt guilty. Her friends put so much effort into those dates, trying to find her soulmate. They genuinely cared about her. They wanted her to experience true love. She felt bad for being so difficult. It got to the point where she’d resort to pretending. She’d choose a random guy in her class, one that was objectively attractive, and led her friend’s to believe her poorly acted out infatuation was true love. A part of her hoped that by lying to her friends, she could lie to herself, and believe it. With fingers crossed, she prayed for her to finally succeed, She hoped that maybe, she’d finally experience the warmth of her heart pounding in her chest. 

Graduation passed her by; it never worked.

To her, it was pointless. She tried it so many times, and in the end, she was always left unsatisfied. She lost faith in her search for love ages ago, and honestly stopped believing in it. Instead of flowers and holding hands with someone, love found her in other strange ways. To her, love was the cat that always met with her on her way to college, or when she found a song that she related to deeply. Love was the face of her mother when she was accepted into college. Love was spending time by herself; writing mediocre poetry, back pressed almost comfortably against a tree. With the exception of her father, love was never the face of a man. That was something she never came to terms with until her early adult years. That was something she thought she'd never understand;

She was wrong.

February was the worst. As if the people around her couldn’t get even more annoying, someone had the bright idea to make a whole day about love. She hated it. The commute to town was even more unbearable than it usually was. Instead of being surrounded by groaning strangers that had too much to drink last night; definitely did not get any sleep, mother’s carrying their screaming babies, the annoying screeching noise that erupted from the train every time it came to a halt, she was surrounded by cheesy lovers that flirted way too loudly. Noise-cancelling headphones were the greatest purchase she ever made.

The train to town was almost worse than the bustling, busy streets. Almost. As if her day couldn’t get any worse, all of her favourite places to spend her lunch were overrun, infected by insufferable couples. She turned her nose up with negativity. She wasn’t mad at them, if anything, she was envious. Why did she have to spend this magical holiday alone? It was unfair. She wanted not just to be loved, but to love. Her head spiralled every time she questioned herself;  she never thought about it too much to prevent her from the gnawing pit that grew within her. It took a few miserable Valentine’s Day’s for her to cultivate a steady ‘celebration’ routine; A survival plan: she would take the train at 8:20, which would be significantly less busy than the one she usually got, put on her headphones, blasted La Dispute for the entire duration of the train ride while staring out the window, and then scurried her way through the hectic crowds to her favorite, quaint, quiet, family-owned coffee shop. There, she would grab the biggest, strongest coffee they had (with a generous amount of caramel syrup, to satiate her sweet tooth), and ploughed through her assignments with peaceful relief etched into every line her pen wrote. 

That was how she spent every Valentine’s Day without fail - Without interruption. She finally had a stable routine that wouldn’t make her feel like a dysfunctional human. A routine that wouldn’t make her feel like there was something wrong with her. A distraction from the onslaught of love that crept up behind her; always facing her back, never once meeting her face to face. Up until now, it almost always went smoothly. It almost worked. She got off the train with high hopes, a subtle smile on her features as she silently appreciated the lyricism of the song she had on shuffle. She had only one notification on her phone: a warning to turn her volume down. All of her friends were busy spending time with their person. Of course they were too busy to text her. With a sigh, she increased the volume to the loudest it could go, and drowned out every thought and jealousy that plagued her mind. She didn’t care about damaging her hearing. At least she wouldn’t have to listen to grown adults talking and cooing to each other like babies. She hated that.

The walk to the coffee shop was fine. She kept to her side of the footpath, and held stern eye contact with the pavement. The cracks in the concrete were way more interesting than the romance that clouded the public anyways. Turning the door-handle, she silently rehearsed her order in her mind, before making her way to the counter. It was relatively quiet; empty. That’s how it normally was. This place was her escape from reality. It was small, quiet, the music they played was nice, and the baristas were always so polite to her. However, as she walked up to the counter, she was unable to recognise the barista behind the register. Was she new? She must’ve been, Kiyoko went there at least three times a week, and never once had she seen her. She wasn’t upset though, not in the slightest. She just hoped she would be as nice as the others. She watched attentively as the girl took the order of the person in front of her. She was smiling widely after each sentence that fled her lips. Not a fake customer-service smile, but a real genuine one. Kiyoko admired that. She continued to watch as she took the money from the customer and quickly placed it into the cash register. In one quick moment, Kiyoko found herself standing speechless directly in front of her. “Hey, what can I get for you?” She asked, giving Kiyoko absolutely zero time to mentally prepare herself to talk to her. She stuttered out her order with a strange feeling in her chest. She cringed at how stupid she sounded. “Of course! Would you like that in a takeaway cup?” She asked, flashing her a smile. It was so strange. Her smile seemed so familiar, so warm. The smile on her face almost made her feel at home; safe. She typed her order into the machine. Kiyoko was relieved - the eye contact was becoming too much for her. “Yes please.” She almost whispered, her voice unusually soft. She only nodded in response, letting out an “mhm!” in acknowledgement. She looked up at Kiyoko again, and she finally understood what it meant to have your heart skip a beat. “That’ll be 5,60! Are you paying with cash or card?”

The moment lasted only 30 seconds at most, and yet Kiyoko felt like she was suffering with a life-long crisis. As she handed her cash to her, she found herself questioning every choice she had ever made that led up to that moment. She couldn’t find the right words to describe how she felt. Conflicted? Confused? She couldn’t think of the right one. She couldn’t think of anything, besides the feeling of her hand touching hers for a split second, as she handed the money to her. She placed the money inside the register just like she did with the last customer. But, unlike she did with them, she leaned over the counter - propping her head up with her hands.

“It’ll be ready in about 5 minutes, pretty.”

With bright red cheeks and wobbly knees, she nodded her head, and almost sprinted to the pick-up counter.

There are a lot of things you could do in 5 minutes. You could listen to a song, count the tiles on the floor, or even count each second down to the last minute. Kiyoko chose neither of those. Instead, she stared at the floor, replaying the interaction in her head over a hundred times. She wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong with her, but one thing she knew for certain was she never felt that way about someone before. Ever. Those five minutes were spent questioning her entire existence. She struggled to come to an obvious conclusion. As it reached the tip of her tongue, her name was called out.

She spoke her name in a way that drove her crazy. The way each syllable rolled off her tongue had her worried she was going to suffer a heart attack. She quickly whipped her head around to face the barista again. She was suddenly very aware of how uncomfortably warm her face was. “You know… your name is almost as pretty as your face.” She almost whispered, a grin widely displayed on her cheeks as her eyes consumed Kiyoko whole. She leaned over the counter again, holding the cup out to Kiyoko. She really liked when she did that - for some strange reason. Her compliment caught Kiyoko completely off guard, hitting her almost like an arrow to the heart. A stupid smile spread out on her face. She wasn’t sure how else to react; It wasn’t socially acceptable to kick your feet and squeal in the middle of a coffee shop. Muttering a shy, “thank you so much!”, she held her hand out to grab the coffee from her. But, before she could get a stable grip on the cup, the barista let go of it too soon, almost out of embarrassment. In doing so, it caused the large, hot coffee to fall directly onto Kiyoko’s hand-made, wool sweater; crashing onto it like a boiling wave, spilling all over her and soaking her in the warm liquid.

There was a moment of mutual shock between them, a brief few seconds spent silently staring at each other. She did a terrible job at hiding the disgusted, uncomfortable look on her face as the coffee seeped through her sweater, ruining the shirt she was wearing under it, and sticking to her bare skin. She looked down to assess the damage done to her clothes. They were ruined. A big, attention-grabbing stain was spread unevenly on her sweater. This was the worst. She looked up at the barista, who looked even more terrified than she was. Her hands flew to cover her mouth, but Kiyoko could see the guilty, fearful look in her eyes. They stayed like that for a few seconds. Uncomfortable silence engulfed the room; like time stopped. Kiyoko didn’t look away from the barista, but she could tell that other people were definitely staring at the two of them. She wanted the ground to swallow her up. The barista was the first one to speak up.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She could tell by the tone of her voice just how serious she was. Kiyoko opened her mouth to speak, to quickly forgive her. She just wanted to go home. Embarrassment enveloped her entirely, and the strong scent of coffee attacked her nostrils in an almost painful way, but the barista spoke up again. “Wait here, I’ll go get you some tissues!” She pleaded, raising her hands cautiously. She nodded in response, watching in silence as the barista urgently dashed through the door behind her. She silently cursed herself for not staying silent. She wiped her hand on her sweater, before holding it to her face to look at it. Her fingers were stained brown. At least her sweater didn’t absorb it all. She waited at the counter for the barista to return like a deer in headlights. She didn’t close the door to her break-room, so Kiyoko could just barely see her.

She was really pretty. Like, really really pretty. Even in her coffee-stained apron (She’s probably done this before to someone else - Kiyoko almost laughed at the thought), and her hair all messy from a probably stressful day, she was beautiful. Even as she frantically tore apart her break-room, Kiyoko couldn’t help but feel her heart whirling around at her irresistible pulchritude. A dumb smile plastered across Kiyoko's face. Technically, she should feel annoyed. She loved that sweater to death. But, in a weird way, she was glad. She knew that from then on, every time she looked at that stain, she would see a trace of her. Although she wasn’t entirely sure what any of her feelings meant, she didn’t have the time to care. For now, she would just let herself feel whatever feelings she felt, without the need to understand. She would have a crisis later. For now, she needed to befriend the clumsy, pretty barista. 

She speed-walked back to the counter, holding tissues out to her. Realistically, tissues would not reverse any of the damage, but it was the thought that counted. “Here. I’m so sorry about that.” She said, lips curving into an apologetic smile so nice Kiyoko couldn’t help but mirror it. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” She answered, staring at her lips for an embarrassingly long moment, before finally returning to her eyes. She reached out to take the tissues from her hand. Have her fingers always been this shaky? The lack of sleep she got the night before must’ve been affecting her mind, because she could’ve sworn you grazed your hand over hers purposefully. She must’ve imagined it. She awkwardly wiped her sweater with it, staining the tissue in the process. The stain didn’t budge.

The barista cleared her throat. “Would it help if I told you I still think you’re really pretty?” She fidgeted with her hands, an empathetic look in her eyes as she silently hoped to uplift Kiyoko’s spirits. Totally not because she was also insanely into her. Totally. Kiyoko almost dropped the tissue. Hell, she almost dropped her jaw at the sudden flirtatious remark. Her face went hot as the line between a friendly compliment and flirting was incredibly unclear to her. Was she just being nice? “Maybe it would.” She began, raising her hands, leaving the stain on full display. and tilting her head with a smile. “Would it help if I told you I think you’re really cute?” Kiyoko made a mental note to learn how to flirt later. The barista smiled, letting out an airy chuckle. “Well, it wouldn’t help the sweater I ruined, but it would help my ruined confidence.” She joked, looking at the ground. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed, it was my fault.” Kiyoko stated matter-of-factly, the girl looked at her like she had two heads. “Nope. It was my fault, cutie. I won't accept any other opinions.” She said with a wink - a wink that almost made Kiyoko fall over. Her knees were immensely weak, and she couldn’t tell if it was from the nickname, the wink, or both.

She sighed with defeat knowing not to debate with her any further. “Does it look like I just shit myself?” She asked with a laugh. The barista laughed with her, which only sorta, kind of, slightly, made her heart flutter. “Nah, more like someone shit on you.” She responded, scratching her chin in playful thought. “I’m seriously so sorry about that by the way. Let me make you another coffee, free of charge. Is there anything else I can do to help?” She asked, her words laced with genuine interest. She grabbed an empty cup, writing something on it before turning around and beginning to make her drink. Kiyoko waved her hands dismissively. “Don’t be sorry, accidents happen! - At least now I have an excuse to talk to you longer.” If she didn’t stutter her way through that sentence, it probably would’ve sounded way less pathetic. Unfortunately, Kiyoko felt she wasn’t anything but pathetic. She wasn’t aware of how it took everything in the barista not to get on one knee and propose to her at that very second. “You have a point. Maybe it’s a good thing I spilled it on you.” She chuckled, turning back around to face her again, handing her the new drink - carefully this time. 

“Um, this might be incredibly out of line, but could I maybe get your number?” She smiled nervously at Kiyoko. Normally, whenever a guy asked her for her number, it made her scoff and roll her eyes. But she was different, Kiyoko never nodded her head so enthusiastically in her life. “Yeah, of course!” She did little to hide the excitement laced in her words. The barista smiled the widest she’d seen that morning. Whispering a quiet “thank you,” she handed Kiyoko her phone, and she shakily typed in her number.

“Oh uh, I never got your name?” Through a smile, she responded, “it’s Y/n.”

“Y/n..” she repeated, handing her her phone back, “that’s a really pretty name. It suits you.” With every sentence it was as if their smiles grew tenfold; heightened by mutual happiness. “Thanks Kiyoko, your name is lovely too.” “Shimizu.” She corrected abruptly, y/n furrowed her brow in response. “Please, call me Shimizu.” she almost begged, craving to taste her name on her tongue. “Well then, Shimizu. It was lovely meeting you. I’ll stop bothering you and let you enjoy your coffee, for now.” She winked again, doing very little absolutely nothing to help convince Kiyoko she’s still straight. “For now?” She asked, confused. “Well I’ll definitely be texting you after my shift, so, for now, I will grant you peace and quiet.” She laughed her words out, to which Kiyoko reciprocated.

“I definitely won’t enjoy it when I could be talking to you instead.” Kiyoko took a sip from her drink. If she wasn’t sure then, the deliciousness of her coffee definitely confirmed just how in love Kiyoko was with her barista. She laughed, “Call me whenever you want someone to spill coffee on you. I’ve proven myself to be very good at that”

“Oh believe me, I will.”

[nortism]

What the Ghosts have been watching on TV

Everyone

Channel 4 Home renovation shows: They're free with ads and there's an infinite amount of them so Alison puts them on for the whole gang when she and Mike have work to do in same way people put on YouTube videos for their dogs. This has backfired slightly as all the ghosts now have very strong and conflicting opinions on how Button House should be renovated.

The Great British Bake-off: A whole family event, they all get very invested. Kitty thinks Alison Hammond is the funniest person in the world. The Captain feels normal about Noel Fielding. As well as a watching it live, I'm sure they've also watched the whole back catalogue together.

Mama Mia: This where the Captain learnt his ABBA songs from. Pat and Julian enjoy the nostalgic music and I think the others are just bewitched by the story and music

Robin

Anything David Attenborough: For obvious reasons. I think he'd get a kick out of trying to do his voice. The others sometimes join in.

Cunk on Earth/ Britain: I think they've got a similar attitude towards history and I think he'd find serious historians trying to answer silly questions incredibly funny

Horrible Histories: He watches this with Kitty, they both find poop jokes funny.

Humphrey

Antiques Roadshow: I'm not sure why. I honestly think he's just glad to watch anything.

Mary

Gardener's World: I think she misses being able to look after plants and I think she'd be endlessly fascinated by how hosepipes work.

Mio Mao: She loves them fucking plasticine cats. She will not stop singing the theme song

Honestly think she'll watch anything with anyone and would get invested, she seems like the ideal person to watch telly with.

Kitty

Ru Paul's Drag Race: I think they all watch this every so often but Kitty is invested. There's bright colours, fun outfits and drama, it's definitely Alison's go to when she needs Kitty distracted.

90s and 2000s romcoms: I believe that every couple of weeks Alison and Kitty have a "girl's night" where they watch all the romcoms that Alison used to watch with her mum, mostly because I love watching romcoms with my mum and Kitty deserves that. Kitty is particularly fond of Twilight.

Thomas:

Any Jane Austen adaptations: He watches them with Fanny as they were both big fans when they were alive (its the only thing they agree on). Kitty also joins sometimes. His favourite is the 1995 Pride and Prejudice tv show.

Fanny:

Grey's Anatomy: I haven't seen it but my mum's a big fan and there's millions of seasons, I think she'd pretend she's not that into it but she definitely is.

Call the Midwife: Same as above.

The Captain:

M*A*S*H: I've seen about half an episode of this but it seems to be about fit young men in a war so it sounds like his thing. Probably Pat's recommendation.

Our Flag Means Death: I think Alison has been trying to sneakily show Cap gay media under the pretence of saying "it's just a fun show about pirates". I think the whole gang watched it together. The Captain definitely didn't cry at the end of season 1 why would think that?

Pat

Taskmaster: I think this is one they all watch together but it's definitely one of Pat's favourites. He probably attempted to set up his own version of the show with the ghost which ended horribly.

Doctor Who: I think he watched the original run when he was alive and was absolutely ecstatic to find out they made more. Julian makes fun of him for it.

Julian

Have I Got News For You: Has been airing since 1990 so he definitely watched it while he was alive. I think he likes to keep up with current politics but not in a very serious way so this is his middle ground.

Succession: I haven't seen this show but it seems to be about horrible men in suits being horrible to each other which seems right up his alley.

The Thick of It: Speaking of horrible men in suits being horrible. I think he watches this with Robin who has absolutely no idea what's going on but just laughs when Julian does and they have the best time. Julian is constantly pausing to add his own anecdotes

What We Do In The Shadows: Alison put this on as a 'let's show the Captain it's ok to be gay' show and the Captain was immediately horrified so Julian adopted it. He identifies with Lazlo.

[dixie-the-pixie]

i swear, 99% of the people online who like warhammer are just weird racist white men who think the imperium is morally correct

like every other account i see talking about warhammer ends up just being a weird 20-40 year old man who thinks racism is the pinnacle of comedy, and that saying slurs instantly makes them the funniest people ever

like warhammer 40k has some of the most intricate lore i’ve ever seen, but most of the people in the hobby only get their lore from people like majorkill. like the guy can’t go two sentences without saying “cock” or “shit”. it’s like he’s trying to be moistcritikal, but somehow doing a far worse job than charlie ever could.

not to mention he doesn’t know anything about the lore he’s talking about. like this dumbass unironically says that Fulgrim and the Emperor’s Children spends all their time just having a massive orgy, or that the Orks can just think a log is a cannon and then use the log as an actual cannon, and that the Tau are space communists and that the only reason humans join them is because of mind control

any actual knowledge of the lore would show how stupid this moron is, but most warhammer fans don’t care about the lore. they just want to hear someone say poop jokes and slurs, and majorkill is the biggest source of those in the community

[th3-0bjectivist]

Dear listener, this will be my final musical entry for 24’ and for several months, and we’re gonna end it with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, one of the elite few great classical composers of all time. I feel like these days, classical music has been somewhat devalued and relegated to running in the background of ultra-absorbent paper towel commercials. This is a damn shame, because classical music changed music on planet Earth forever, and composers like Mozart once represented bleeding-edge innovation in the realm of music. For his time, Mozart wrote music in every available and accessible genre and excelled at each of them as well. Much like classical music in a broad sense, WAM attempted to create works that were universal in application. Much like me, the man genuinely enjoyed pleasing every segment of his wide-ranging audience with his personal versatility. Is it any wonder that you’re familiar with WAM’s name and works even though you weren’t even living during his era? So, how do men like this become immortalized? Join me below for an answer from some guy on the internet. Just above is The Requiem in D minor, K. 626, a piece Mozart didn’t even finish before he died. It is haunting, beautiful and really exemplifies WAM’s range. Thank you, all my dear listeners on Tumblr, for celebrating another year of music with me. I’ll be doing more of the same next year as well, but without further ado… the WAM you’ve been waiting for.

Dying young at 35 but filling his entire short life with his own firebrand of musical creativity, WAM started his career at an extremely fresh-faced 5 years old when he wrote his first keyboard composition. He wrote his first SYMPHONY when he was an 8-year-old… and I don’t know if anyone is aware of this but, that kind of natural compositional talent doesn’t exactly grow on trees these days, or even hundreds of years in the past. Like many other classical artists, WAM was brought up in the Church, specifically in the Catholic faith. He is well known for composing ‘divinely inspired works’, specifically designed for Mass between Epistle and Gospel. Performing for imperial courts as a mere child and then going on to create 600 + total musical works in his lifetime, WAM wasn’t just some musician from Austria; he was a Bonafide genius. He could speak over a dozen languages, was awarded the Order of the Golden Spur by Pope Clement XIV and was perhaps one of the most notable and famous Freemasons of all-time. WAM even went as far as producing openly masonic works like The Magic Flute and Thomas, King of Egypt. Unlike other classical artists (Brahms, Beethoven, Vivaldi), WAM was a family man who cherished his children but left very little to them because of his excessive drinking, extravagant general spending, and personal generosity. His lack of money-management aside, WAM stands tall as one of the most, if not the MOST famous Austrian musician of all time. Fun fact: WAM loved fart and poop jokes. I’m NOT kidding. He went as far as writing scatological music for his recreational and drunk buddies and quipped about his bowel movements to close friends and family members in numerous letters. Why would I mention this, you may ask? Because, for his time, this man was a walking immortal on Earth. Mozart’s shit-based humor humanizes him to me, and I love how this yester century genius thought absolutely anything coming out of the human ass was hilarious. Having been subject to numerous infections and bumps on his skin before his untimely death, WAM died young and under entirely mysterious circumstances which have never been properly identified or explained. Just below, you’ll find The Best of Mozart. Smash play, enjoy, Happy New Year. It was a pleasure, as always, to provide Tumblr with music and information in 24’.

A prodigy, more versatile than his contemporaries, and more influential than the vast, vast majority of any common musician…Mozart is a legend and an inspiration. Is it any wonder that his surname is well-known even to this day… even though he had no grandchildren? Image source: https://www.redbubble.com/i/kids-t-shirt/Wolfgang-Amadeus-Mozart-digital-painting-in-high-resolution-by-hypnotzd/142756337.VXRIW

[the-phantom-author]

Harry Lewis | General Dating Headcanons

Some W2S stuff. Will I do more for him, maybe. Request are open!

Probability meet through some interest or activity. As Simon said, Harry is one of the only Sidemen who actually has hobbies. So I can definitely see you meeting him through that and being in the weird “what are we” stage where you two are seeing each other while doing without doing the activity that you meet through.

It’s to the point that yeah, you know all his friends, and he knows yours, and you do plan things together so you can have time to spend where it’s just you two, but you’re totally not dating. Heaven forgive anyone who implies that you are, because no, that would be odd, that’s not what you two are. Nope.

Harry’s an awkward guy, we know that. It does not matter that you are seeing each other, he is still going to be awkward. It’s going to last for a while as well. He needs to know that you are comfortable; with both him and affection in general. You’ll probably need to actually tell him.

WIth that said, once he knows that you're comfortable with affection, he becomes that most attached person, behind doors. Man is weird about public affection, you won’t be able to convince him to do more than hold your unless he’s drunk. But in private, the biggest fan of cuddling and napping together.

Cooking together. Do we remember his cooking streams? W2S Cooking Show, I miss it. But helping him cook and whatnot. Closing the cabinets when he leaves them opens, please organize his kitchen. I can’t stop thinking about what the kitchen set up was like when he lived with the Cals, with things just everywhere, the silverware in the cabinet.

A lot of inside dates. Cooking together, convincing him to watch movies with you (even if he doesn’t actually watches them and just picks and pokes at you), doing arts and crafts together,Just doing simple things kept between the two of you.

I can also bathing together becoming a common thing, as we know this man likes his showers, he take one every time he poops. So I can see him joining you every so often, washing your hair and whatnot.

Harry’s not the best when it comes to wording things. Istead he shows his appreciation and love though doing things with and for you. Like he’d be your biggest supporter, if you want to learn a new skill or hobby, he bo so willing to learn it with you. Like if you take an art class or something, the next time you see him he’ll be wanting to know everything, or if you get into yoga or something he’ll want you to teach him. He treats your interest with the same amount of respect that he would want you to treat him.

Stare at him. Do it, he’ll get flustered. He’ll stutter out a little “What are doing” tell him he pretty, or just compliment him in general, he’ll go red and “Oh, o-okay” in a really small voice and try to hide his face in his shirt or mug or something.

Also vacationing and taking trips and whatnots. He’d take you with him whenever he can on non-work related trips. Having set things that the two of you want to do, but ended up getting side tracked and just exploring. Or going on a holiday while the guys and ending up getting a tour of a prison or abandoned factory some other random thing.

You do have to act as a live action censor. Harry likes to say polarizing things in his attempt to be funny, and while it usually is funny in context, sometimes it doesn’t come off best to strangers. So you do tend to take notice of when he goes quiet for a bit too long and see that he has his thinking face on, you do take it upon yourself to just listen to the first part of his joke to just be ready to stop him if it might go a bit far.

Ultimately he’s a very soft guy, and it’d be a very soft relationship.

[fandomwe1rd0]

Every Rick and Morty episode ranked!

This took me 3 hours and Mircosoft excel was being a bitch but I did it! The ranking is under the cut! I really hope you enjoy! Sorry if my reviews leave some to be desired, this took a VERY long time!

~ F tier, this tier is for episode. I just don't like, they have little to no redeeming qualities and just aren't good. There's very little here since most Rick and Morty episodes are really good! ~

71. Claw and Horder Special Ricktim Morty. Horrible episode with no redeeming qualities. Rick is unlikable. There's no funny jokes, and it's just a really uncomfortable episode overall, F tier.

70. Rickdependence Spray. Very little redeeming qualities. Rick is really the only good thing in this episode, and even then it's just because he wasn't a complete ass to Morty. There's only like…one funny joke and that's it. Also Rick and Morty writers, PLEASE STOP SEXUALIZING A 14-year-old boy. I BEG of you!

69 (heh). Rise of The Numericons: The Movie. Just a really boring episode, it focuses on 2 characters who I don't give a shit about, and it has a forced romanced subplot and just has a very uncomfortable scene.

68. Raising Gazorpazorp. Rick sucks in this episode. He's a sexist asshole, and the sexualization of Morty is really insane. There was one funny joke in the beginning and everything else sucks.

67. A Rickcovient Mort. Romantizing groomers is crazyyyy. The B story is also just overly sexual.

66 & 65. A Rick in King Mortur's Mort & Ricktional Mortpoon's Rickmas Mortcation. Lumping these 2 together due to similar problems. Rick is a douchebag, unfunny jokes, and I do NOT like the focus of Morty's…manhood in Rick in King Mortur's Mort.

64. One Crew Crewcoo's over Morty. Rick was an asshole in this episode, and there's not even funny jokes to make up for it like in The Vat of Acid episode, I just feel bad for the poor boy.

~ D tier, these episodes are bad, but have more redeeming qualities than the episodes in the F tier. ~

63. Mortyplicity. There was a sweet moment between two of the decoy familes but that's it.

62. Anatomy Park, just a really boring episode, really it's only redeeming quality is that it can be used for like a biology class but that's it! There's not really anything I spefically dislike about it, it's just kinda boring.

61. Rick Dinner Andre. Eh. This episode was lame. I expect better premires. But at least Morty was a little badass and there was 1 funny moment. And I appreciate the foreshadowing to Rick's backstory.

60. Childrick of Mort. Eh this episode is fine. The joke at the end was funny and Rick and Beth did have some sweet moments, but this episode was mostly just boring and unfunny.

59. How Poppy Got His Poop Back, definetily the weakest premire, this episode again is just boring, I liked Rick and Morty's interaction at the beginning but besides that there's like…nothing. Just a really forgettable episode.

58. Forgetting Sharick Mortshall. Meh. There was an emotional moment at the end but that's really it. Not much to say about this episode. I mean I liked Morty here at least.

57. Rickmancing the Stone. Eh, it's just kinda boring. Nobody was particually good or bad in this episode. I thought Beth was cute in the episode but that's it, this is just..meh.

56. The Jerrick Trap. I dunno if this opinon is unpopular or not, but it's just not that funny or interesting, Morty was cool here though.

55. Rickstar Ricklatica. Rick was an ass in this episode, there was 1 funny joke and I like Jerry here, but Rick was too much of an ass here for me to rank it higher.

54. Never Ricking Mort. There is some funny jokes, but that's it. And the forehead kiss scene makes me uncomfyyyyy

53. Auto Erotic Assimulaton. Wooboy gonna get chased by an angry mob for this one. This episode is heavilllyyy overrated. It's not funny and just really boring. It's only up this high because the ending scene in fucking amazing and heartbreaking.

52. Ricksy Business. Boring episode, but the ending was cute, but overall the weakest finale.

51. Rick: A Mort well Lived. I liked seeing Morty doubt that Rick cares about him, but this was done leagues better in Fear No Mort, here it was just kinda bland, same thing with the side story with Summer.

50. Juricksic Mort. There's a lot of good Rick moments here, and I liked some of the jokes, but other than that, there's not much here.

49. Pickle Rick. Probably my most controversial pick for the list. I mean this episode isn't bad persay, just extremely overrated. I thought some jokes were funny, and I liked Dr. Wong's speeches, but besides that this episode was just boring.

48. Gotron Jerrysis Rickvangelion. Some funny moments, but other than that, meh. The ending scene haunts my nightmares though.

~ C Tier every episode here is average to good! They aren't the best to offer, but they are ok! ~

47. Rick & Morty's Thanksplotation Spectacular. Funny moments, but that's really it.

46. Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate. Ik this is a controversial pick, but I think people are too hard on this episode, yes the focus on dicks is gross, but there's funny bits and Rick is actually likable here.

45. Air Force Wong. It's good for seeing how much Rick has changed, but besides that, there's just not much to this episode.

44. Amortycan Grafetti. Great for Rick's development,and there was one funny joke, but other than that eh. I LIVE for Summer calling Morty a creepy little grandpa's boy though.

43: The Old Man and The Seat. Fine episode. some jokes are funny and the end is sad, but there's not much else to it.

42. Promortyus. A controversial pick to be sure, but besides the facehugger part, the human part was very funny and the aftercredits scene is also funny.

41. Rickternal Friendshine of the Spotless Mort. This is kinda overrated, but I see the appeal. It's not very funny, but Rick is likable here, and Birdperson was back. I do appreciate them showing Rick's sexuality, but that's about it.

40. Night Family, not really funny, but the story and action are great. Not much else to say.

39. Bethic Twinstic. Again, yes the 2 Beths being in love is gross. BUT the B story is cute and funny, and the jokes about the rest of the family being traumatized are funny.

38. Wet Kaut American Summer. This was funny, and Rick was likable here, but the story and Kauto part is too weird for me to put it in B tier, but it's a really solid episode!

~ B Tier, these episode vary from good to great! Solid, enjoyable episode! ~

37. Pilot. I tend to flip flop a lot on how I feel about this one…but the jokes are funny, there's some cute moments, and it started the show to begin with. So B tier you go!

36. Lawnmower Dog. There's funny moments, I like the inception plot, and the ending was really cute!

35. Big Trouble in Little Sanchez. This is another one I flip flop on, but the B story is enjoyable enough with some funny jokes, same with the A story, it's not spentacular, but an enjoyable watch nonetheless.

34. M Night Shaym-Aliens! We get a bit of protective Rick in this one babyyy. I like the plot, everyone was likable here, and the crystal fight was too adorable for words. There wasn't that many funny jokes, but this episode doesn't try to hard to be funny, so it doesn't bother me.

33. Final Desmithlation. Yes, yes, the incest part is gross. BUT Rick is likable, the fight scenes are cool, and there's legitmately funny jokes but…don't watch this one with family.

32. Edge of Tomorty. Eh this episode wasn't amazing, but it has some funny jokes, both stories were enjoyable, if not a little unmemorable, not a great episode, but a good one.

31. These Ricks Must Be Crazy. Another one I flip flop on. I'm not crazy about the plot, but there's a lot of funny jokes, so I'll give it a pass.

30. The Abcs of Beth, not very funny, but it is plot important and it shows Rick in a pretty likable light for the most part, this was also the first Rick and Beth episode and they did it MUCH better than Childrick of Mort.

29. Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri. Good episode, enjoyable plot, introduces Space Beth, funny jokes, and emotional ending. Not the best episode ever, but a really good one.

28. Vindicators 3: Return of World Ender. Jealous Rick in this one babbyyy. I LIVE for his pettiness in this episode, the Vindicators are enjoyable characters, even if they get killed, it's not the best episode, but it's definetily an enjoyable watch.

27. The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy. Rick is likable here, the B plot is enjoyable, Rick's "The reason why you suck" speech to Jerry was pretty on-point. Deducted some points because it's not very funny, but solid episode!

26. Morty's Mindblowers. Does it deserve to be ranked this high? …Probably not. But it's one of the first episodes I watched and it holds a special place in my heart for that. It's funny and has some good Rick moments.

25. Mortynight Run. I like Morty trying to do good, but failing at it. Rick is a little unlikable here, but he has some good moments, it has memorable side characters, and a good song, but it's not that funny.

24. Mort: Raganrick. Rick's character development is shown amazingly well here. I'm so proud! There's also quite a few funny moments, I think the B story is a little overrated, but still good, solid episode!

23. Get Schwifty. I like the song, Rick was funny here and was likable in an asshole way, it also introduces the president. So yeah, good episode!

22: Something Ricked This Way Comes, this episode is really funny! Rick is pretty likable, I don't really like Summer, but that's really it, I also really like the B plot and Jerry was really likable!

21. The Vat of Acid Episode. Very funny and I liked Morty a lot in this one, Rick was just an asshole just to be an asshole here, but it's too funny for me to place it any lower.

20. Total Rickall. The ending scene is fucking amazing holy shit. But unlike Auto Erotic Assimulation, it has good stuff besides that, the jokes are funny and the action is fucking awesome! Would definetly recommend!

19. A Rickle in Time. Okokokok. This might be a little too high for it but HEAR ME OUT! Ok, it isn't very funny, but the B story is very cute, and there were a few funny jokes. The ending scene also reveals SO MUCH about Rick's character and is SO amazing and fun to anaylze! PLEASE watch this episode if you haven't already!

18. Rixty minutes. Funny episode, with really good emotional beats and both the A and B story are really good. Defineity check it out!

17. That's Amorte. This episode is really really good. It handles it's serious theme exceptionally well! I had to dock it a little bit since the jokes weren't funny, but this episode is phenominal.

16. Anaylze Piss. Again great episode! It handles it serious theme well, Rick is amazing here, so proud! I didn't like all of the jokes about piss, but everything else makes up for it. Please PLEASE check it out!

15. The Rickiture Mortyidate. Rick is likable here, very funny story, good pacing, character development for Beth, and there's even some cute bonding moments between Rick and Morty! Very good finale!

14. Rick Potion #9. Very good episode! Funny jokes, powerful ending, and it's very important to the plot! Some points were deducted because Rick was insuffable here and Morty was a creep, but still an amazing episode!

13. Full Meta Jackrick. UGH I love Rick so much here! There's a lot of funny jokes, an interesting story, and Rick is sooo likable! The pacing can be a bit slow at times, and I wasn't a big fan of the last few minutes, but great episode nonetheless! Go watch it!

12. Rest and Ricklaxation. UGHHH THIS FUCKING EPISODE! It makes me go feral in the best way, there are some funny bits, sure, but really it's the Rick character development for me, the line "irrational attachments lives rent free In my head ughhh. Please watch this one! It's sooo fun to anaylze!

11. Look Who's Purging Now. Very good episode! This one has funny bits, but it's the Morty character development for meeee. His repressed rage really needs to be explored more! And Rick lying about the candy bar to make Morty feel better was sweet.

10. The Rickshank Rickdemption. DAMN this is a good premire! It's very plot important, the action is awesome and we get Rick's backstory (although it isn't confrimed canon till later) and the garage rant was hilarous! Terrific episode!

9. The Wedding Squanchers. Great finale! It's funny, it's plot-important, and everyone is likable, and the ending STILL makes me sob.

~ S Tier. These episodes are great and nearly FLAWLESS! These are also my top eight!

8. Meeseeks and Destroy. I might be giving this one a bitttt too much credit, but it's really important to me, and I love it a lot! The jokes are funny, and they handle the serious topic near flawlessly, Everyone here is likeable (Besides Mr. Jellybean but he's not supposed to be) and I will NEVER not cry over it! Such a good episode!

7. Rickfending Your Mort. Such an amazing episode! Rick is so likable here! Everyone is! There's so many funny and heartwarming moments and it's amazing proof for Rick's character development! Please watch/rewatch it when you get the chance!

6. The Ricklantis Mixup. UGHHH the plot episodes are ALWAYS amazing! This episode shows Evil Morty's manipulation well and makes you excited for his next apprerance! It's not very funny, but the plot is so awesome that I can excuse it!

5. Close Rick-counters with Rick kind. Really great episode! Introduces Evil Morty (My Evil Babyboyyyy) and Doofus Rick! Rick crying over Morty always gets to me and Morty is amazing here!

4. Solaricks. Morty is a sweet little baby angel here, the emotional moments HIT! Everyone is likable and it's just a good episode overall, it's not very funny but it's a phenomial episode, please watch it!

3. Rickmurai Jack. I mean c'mon. Rick's backstory revealed? Rick treating Morty like an equal? THE FUCKING ENDING?! This episode did damn near everything right. Unmortricken is slightlyy better because I find it to be more emotional and is a lil more unique. This episode is fucking amazing though holy shit.

2. Unmortricken. Do I even really need to explain myself? It's funny, we got my three favorite characters center stage here (Rick C-137, Morty Prime, and Evil Morty) The death scene is POWERFUL and the ending scene really knows how to kick you in the stomach! The only reason why it's not the top is because I'm not crazy about Rick Prime as a villian, but amazing episode nonetheless. It's also very funny and Rick and Morty's hug at the end is everything to me!

Fear No Mort. MORTY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FUCK YEAH! The exploration of Morty's trauma is incredible! And it has so legitmately funny jokes! The emotional moment really hits you in the gut! The pacing is really great, the montage is amazing, and the hug is EVERYTHING! This episode is so much fun to anaylze and just ughhh! It's so so sooo great! Please watch it!

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Skelly learns their kid needs glasses because kid called another skeleton dad (said 'other skeleton is similar in shape) extra points if the 2 skeletons don't like each other lol

Heya I'm back! Did you all have a fun Christmas?

Undertale Sans - That's fine. He totally didn't get offended when you ran past him to run in Red's (Underfell Sans) arms and watched helplessly as Red played along, looking him straight in the eyes. Someone is going to find dog poop in front of his house later today.

Undertale Papyrus - I mean, it's ok, he's confusing himself with Delta (Disbelief!Papyrus) every day as well, he's not mad. It's easy to mistake them all together. Delta feels like the chosen one right now, so Papyrus lets him have his fun.

Underswap Sans - He huffs, annoyed the kid confused him with Nugget (Horrorswap Sans). He's not particularly mad at the other skeleton, but clearly, make an effort. He's missing an arm??? Nugget is just happy to have attention even though he looks very uncomfortable with the sudden hug. Please, help him.

Underswap Papyrus - His heart breaks in pieces as the kid runs past him to jump in Rus' (Swapfell Papyrus) hands. How can you do this to him? With this walking trash can out of all people?! Honey falls dramatically on the floor like a dead sea star. He's done.

Underfell Sans - He hisses at Dune (Dustale Sans) as the kid runs straight to him. The poor skeleton is so confused, not understanding what's even going on as he suddenly has a child in his arms. Oh well. If it comes to him, it's his. Red can only watch in horror as Dune blips in thin air with his kid. Uh oh. S/O is so going to kill him.

Underfell Papyrus - His jaw falls on the floor as his kid runs happily to Torpedo (Mafiafell Papyrus) and hugs his legs like it's a perfectly normal skeleton. Edge comes running, snatches his kid from him and throws himself at Torpedo's face to attack him lol. Torpedo is way stronger than he is though so it gets quite embarrassing when Edge has to flee, his kid above the head, chased by a very pissed-off mafia leader who swears he will end him before the end of the week.

Horrortale Sans - The kid runs straight to Sans. Oak looks at the scene, completely defeated. Welp. That happened. There's a long awkward silence between the two skeletons lol. I mean, Sans did nothing wrong, but, uh, he can guess why Oak feels hurt by this so much. He tries to defuse the tension with a joke, but Oak stays silent. Big boy is sad :(

Horrortale Papyrus - He's so confused when the kid runs to hug Chief (Horrorfell Papyrus), almost knocking the poor skeleton out of his wheelchair with their force. They look nothing similar???? Well, Willow is not (too) mad about this, since Chief is part of his dysfunctional family, but still. That was rude. He's pouting.

Swapfell Sans - He gasps loudly as the child runs and jumps in Wine's (Fellswap Gold Sans) arms, both from shock and offense. Wine is in shock as well actually. His eye sockets are entirely black. He just picks the kid by the hood, looks at them from head to toe and just "Ew." before pushing him back to their father. "EW? WHAT DO YOU MEAN EW?" Nox screams, enraged. Wine simply shrugs. The kid has the good idea to take a step back as Nox lunges at him to kill him as usual.

Swapfell Papyrus - He looks at Coffee (Fellswap Gold Papyrus) as his kid runs to him. Coffee looks in utter panic, not knowing what to do. Rus simply smiles at him. "Welp, you're the father now. Good luck." Rus then vanishes in front of his eyes as Coffee is asking if he's joking, then screams at him with more and more distress to come back lol. Rus is such a jerk.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He's scandalized as his hair runs to that asshole of Sam (Farmtale Sans). How dare they?! He raised them and all of this for this? That's it. Wine is pissed off. He leaves like a drama queen, stomping the floor angrily, leaving the confused kid behind with the framer who gasps in shock when he realizes Wine is abandoning his kid. What the hell? Sam grabs him by his expensive jacket and throws him on the floor, asking what the hell is wrong with him. Wine growls back, hissing like a snake. Uh... Either of their brother better act quick because they are going to fight and none of them is willing to stop lol.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - The kid runs happily to Creeper (Mafiatale Papyrus) which makes Coffee, who ran after him, stop dead in his tracks. Uh... Coffee is terrified of that guy. He's not sure what to do now. He's too scared to go and ask the skeleton to please give back his child. So, uh... He's just staring, hiding behind a tree, slowly having a panic attack. Please? Help? Someone?

[sequinsmile-x]

Barter

He knew if he took a moment to step back and think about what he was doing. About the fact he was bargaining with a cat, and an unconscious one at that, that he’d think he’d lost his mind. But Aaron knew he’d do anything for Emily, for his wife, even if that meant he ended up making promises to a cat who had made it his life work to poop in all of his shoes.

-x-

Hi friends,

This is for the lovely @em-prentiss! She wrote a fic about Aaron and Sergio being indifferent to each other recently and it made my brain whir and here we are!

As always, please let me know what you think <3 I am going to go give my cat a massive hug.

-x-

Warnings: sick pet, pregnancy

Words: 2k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Aaron had always known that Emily and Sergio were a package deal. She loved that cat, and he loved her back. He followed her around her apartment like a shadow, the click-clack of his claws on the hardwood floor a soundtrack to her life as she moved from room to room. Sergio, however, had always been much less keen on Aaron. 

It was something that was clear from the first night he’d ever slept over at Emily’s. He’d snuck out of bed, a kiss pressed against her forehead before he headed for her kitchen, intent on waking her up with breakfast. Instead, she’d woken up to the sound of him yelping in pain as Sergio appeared from nowhere and sunk his claws into Aaron’s bare back. Emily had apologised profusely, all flushed cheeks and messy hair as she stood behind him wearing only his shirt and she dabbed antiseptic on his scratches. He said it was fine, because it was, and they both joked Sergio would get used to no longer being the only man in Emily’s life. 

Sergio’s indifference for Aaron, something he returned in equal measure, continued as their relationship grew. As Aaron and Emily shifted from boyfriend and girlfriend to living together in a house with both their names on the deed, to husband and wife, Sergio continued to make his dislike of Aaron clear. The cat loved Jack, and would often sleep curled up at the end of the young boy's bed, and sometimes Aaron wondered how he’d ended up in a situation where he lived with a cat who somehow knew what freshly clean clothes were his when he dragged them out of the basket to tear them up. 

He’d lost countless ties and shirts, pieces of them found shredded across the house, even though Sergio had more toys than a cat could wish for. Aaron was powerless against it, the love that reflected in his wife and son’s eyes when Sergio purred happily in one of their laps enough to make him put up with all the chaos the four legged creature had brought into his life. He’d lost even more of his will to do or say anything about it when he’d watch Sergio curl up with his head on Emily’s pregnant belly, the shock on the cats face whenever the baby would kick at him funny every time. 

Aaron yawns as he walks through the house, scratching the back of his head as he goes over everything he has to do before he goes up to bed to join Emily. He’s about to go, his foot on the bottom step, when he spots something near Sergio’s food bowl out of the corner of his eye. He furrows his brow and walks over to check, his confusion turning into concern when he sees Sergio laying on his side next to his still full bowl.

“Hey buddy,” he says, crouching down next to the cat, anxiety building in his chest as Sergio doesn’t even react to him, “You didn’t want your dinner?” He asks, trying to move the bowl closer to him, his lips pressed together as he still doesn’t get a reaction. He moves to pick Sergio up, something that would usually result in hissing and a batting of his paws at Aaron’s arms but there is still nothing. He simply lays there as Aaron lifts him into his arms and stands up, “Okay, Serg. We need to get you to the vet.”

He’s suddenly very grateful Jack is at Jessica’s tonight, that he only has to tell his wife, who he knows will insist she drags herself out of bed and go to the vet with him, that the cat is sick. He keeps a hold of Sergio, who is tucked against his chest and heads upstairs to wake up Emily.

At first, she’s bleary eyed and irritated that he’s woken her up from from a deep sleep - something that was rare for her these days because of their very active baby - but the moment he shows her Sergio she’s wide awake. She wraps him in his favourite blanket, a bright pink thing from his days living with Penelope, and hold him close as they drive to the emergency vet. Tears she blames on her pregnancy hormones, as if being upset about her beloved pet being sick was something to be embarrassed over, streaming down her face. 

Their concern is only heightened when the veterinary nurse immediately takes Sergio from them. Her eyes wide as she tells them she’ll check them in as soon as Sergio is with the vet. It’s a long wait as they sit there for news, the only sounds in the otherwise empty vet’s office Emily’s sniffles and the clock on the wall. 

Aaron isn’t entirely sure how much time has passed when the vet comes out to see them, a tight smile on her face he doesn’t have to be good at his job to know isn’t good news. She tells them that they’ll monitor Sergio overnight, and if he makes it they’ll operate in the morning. Emily cries into Aaron’s shoulder, tears and snot seeping through the thin material of his t-shirt. The vet tells them they can see him for a few minutes before they leave and they follow her back past the reception desk. 

Emily gasps as she walks in, the sight of her cat lying there with an IV almost too much for her to take. She sits down at the chair pulled up next to him and she strokes over his soft fur, her other hand on her bump as she tries to soothe both of her babies at the same time. 

“Hi Serg,” she says, swallowing thickly to try and push her emotions down, “You’re going to be okay. You’re in the best place. Everyone is going to take really good care of you and you’ll be home before you know it,” she keeps talking to him, reassuring him as if he’d understand even if he was awake. She sits there for a few minutes before she blows out a shaky breath and turns to look at Aaron who had stood dutifully behind her ever since they’d stepped into the room, a solemn look on his face as he rubbed comforting circles on her back, “I need to pee. Again,” she says, a flash of a smile across her face, “Your kid is on my bladder,” she slowly stands up, letting him help her without fuss for once, “Can you sit with him whilst I go?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” he says, kissing her cheek and then her forehead. The vet shows her to the bathroom and Aaron finds himself alone with Sergio for the first time since he’d found him unresponsive on the floor. 

He clears his throat and then he sighs, leaning in to get closer to him, the stillness of the creature that was usually always on the go unnerving. 

“You’ve got to pull through, buddy,” he says, scratching between Sergio’s ears, almost wishing he’d bat at him like he usually would if Aaron dared touch him, “I know we’ve never quite seen eye to eye, but she loves you a lot. So does Jack. So if you make it through this for them I’ll buy you all of the treats you want. And I’ll stop complaining about you shredding my ties or using my shoes as a litter tray.” He knew if he took a moment to step back and think about what he was doing. About the fact he was bargaining with a cat, and an unconscious one at that, that he’d think he’d lost his mind. But Aaron knew he’d do anything for Emily, for his wife, even if that meant he ended up making promises to a cat who had made it his life work to poop in all of his shoes. Aaron sighs and scratches Sergio’s head again, “I promise.” 

He hears Emily clear her throat behind him, her smile shaky and face unreadable other than that and the tears still shining in her eyes. He has no idea how much of what he’d said, if any, that she’d heard, and she steps towards him, her hand on his shoulder as she makes it to his side, “I’ll just give him a kiss and we can head home.” 

He nods and stands up, letting her take his place. She leans down and kisses Sergio between the ears and she whispers something against his fur before she stands up straight, wincing as she places one hand on her back and one on her bump. He closes the gap and rubs a hand on her back where he knows it hurts the most and he drops a kiss to the top of her head. The drive home is silent, one of Emily’s hands in Aaron’s and the other on her belly to distract herself from the fact Sergio isn’t with them. 

It’s only when they are home, snuggled up in their bed, that she breaks. Her tears slipping down onto her pregnancy pillow as he wraps himself around her, doing his best to surround her with love and reassurance. 

“What if he dies?” She asks, trying to catch her breath, both of her hands wrapped around one of his as she secures his arm against her chest, “For a long time he was all I had and…he can’t die.” 

He tries to soothe her, murmuring words of comfort he knows don’t mean anything against the top of her head in between kisses. She eventually falls asleep, worn out by the last few hours and the preemptive grief stuffed in her lungs. He lays there and finds himself wishing for all sorts of things that don’t make sense - cursing himself for not going to veterinary school so he can save Sergio himself, and by the time he falls asleep he’s bartering with a god he isn’t sure he believes in.

___

Sergio makes it through the night, and then his surgery, and before they know it he’s home with a shaved paw and a shaved belly and he’s lapping up the attention they are all giving him. He sits curled up in Emily’s lap, loving all the head scratches and kisses, his loud pur giving away any attempt at indifference. 

He’s been home a day when Emily brings it up, her smile coy and teasing as she turns to look at Aaron, Sergio fast asleep in her lap as she smiles at her husband. 

“So…are you going to make good on your promise to get him all the treats he could ever want?” 

His eyes go wide and he swallows thickly, his cheeks flaming with embarrassment, “You heard that?” 

“I heard all of it,” she says, reaching up to cup his cheek, leaning in to kiss him, her smile pressed against his lips, “You’re sweet. Who knew all it would take for you guys to become friends was a near death experience” 

He sighs, “I just know how much you love him.” 

She hums and kisses him again, “If I said we’re out of treats, and the pet store happens to be next to that ice cream place baby and I like…what would you say?” 

He rolls his eyes even though they both know he is already planning on going, and he kisses her before he stands up, “I’d say I’ll be back in 30 minutes,” he leans down to kiss her again, “Rocky Road?”

She nods, “You’re the best. I love you.” 

“I love you too,” he says, sighing as he scratches Sergio’s head, “And I love you buddy.” 

He shakes his head as he hears Emily tell Sergio that she always knew Aaron would come around. He goes to put on his sneakers and turns up his nose at a familiar smell emanating up from them. He picks one of them up and has his suspicion confirmed and he grimaces, sighing to himself before he reaches for another pair of shoes and grumbles. 

“A promise is a promise.” 

[masterjedilenawrites]

if you want could you do some hcs for pet names for the bad batch? like maybe some joke pet names and some that they would like to be called?

Hunter: Loooves anything that puffs him up, makes him feel strong and manly or gives him authority. Stud, prince, handsome, tiger... He tries to brush it off or act annoyed, but it's obvious he's melting on the inside. He'll take whatever teasing comes from his brothers to hear you keep calling him that. Venture into sir or daddy territory, or just straight up call him hot, and you'll have him wrapped around your finger.

Wrecker: Nothing makes him laugh louder than a fun pet name. He'll gladly accept any and all configurations of words, especially when they end with a buns, cheeks, muffin, or poop. Yes, he is a child, but an endearing one. Some days he can't wait to hear what you come up with, and would be a little disappointed if you forgot or circled back to an old one that's lost its charm.

Tech: Doesn't understand pet names, so he could be called just about anything and he won't bat an eye. You'll have to try out all sorts of names, look for a reaction, and of course the most random one will earn it. Tech's ears will perk up and his heart will feel all fluttery. He'll ask you to say it again. Sexy brains. Oh yes, he quite likes that one.

Crosshair: Hates most pet names, to be honest, especially ones that are "cutesy" or silly. It makes him feel belittled, like you don't take him seriously or are making fun of him. He may tolerate something like dear from time to time, as it sounds more caring. And in more intimate moments, you can probably get away with sweetheart. Otherwise, he really just likes to hear the sweet sound of his own name.

Echo: Really likes the really tender, kind of old-timey names. He likes how they sound both warm and domestic as well as grand and musical. It can feel like a contrast to how he looks, part man and part machine. But he aspires to live up to those names every time he's called them. Darling is probably his absolute favorite, but he also likes Beloved, Lovely, and Sugar too.

Every Character Tag: @dangerousstrawberrypie, @justanothersadperson93, @arctrooper69, @sleepycreativewriter, @techie-bear, @theroguesully

Bad Batch Tag: @kaijusplotch, @rebel-finn, @lucyysthings, @marvel-starwars-nerd, @nekotaetae, @severalseashellsbytheseashore, @lackofhonor, @flowered-bicycles, @foodmoneyandcats

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