#and even though they're not the main characters of my lore anymore they will always be my Lair OGs

[the-violet-sea]

the rain cloud/the storm cloud

(celebrating 10 whole years on FR w some (very overdue) new bio art of my Pluvia and Esther, my progenitor pair!!)

[livesworthlivingau]

Two Hats Lore Drop/Chapter -1?

So I decided that Two Hats went a liiittle bit differently in my fic, mostly because some things always kinda bothered me about it, like how even with craft exhaustion Loop is FAR too easy to fight, and that Siffrin would just kill them without hesitation basically. So I've decided to rewrite the fight portion! the lead up to it, and the post fight scene of Loop winning are still accurate to canon, but the in between went a bit different, most of the lines were kept though, albeit a little altered. Hope you enjoy my own rendition of Two Hats! CW: Blood, violence, mental spirals, suicidal ideation, and all the usual two hats CW implications.

-"Let's fight, you and I! Let's have a cute, miniscule, old-fashioned little fight like a bonded couple. Okay~?"

(You stare silently... You can't find the words to say... to imagine everything that Loop went through, to imagine where you would be right now if Loop weren't there to guide you...)

"Ha... Nothing to say, still? Haha... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! STARS, killing you will make me SO HAPPY." (You watch as for a split second, their form blinks away into yours, before flashing right back. You stumble back a step.)

"Are you ready?" (You open your mouth to protest-)

"No, you don't get a choice! We're doing it!!! Let's go, Stardust~~~~~~!!!!!!" (Loop draws their weapon, their eyes showing a bright smile across their face... You can't tell if this one is fake anymore.)

"Let's just get right to it." (You hesitantly reach for your dagger. You don't want to fight them, you CAN'T fight them! Not to mention you're still exhausted from everything. Your body feels heavy, sluggish, weak... You slip your dagger from it's sheath, hoping you won't actually have to use it.)

(Loop takes a deep breath, as if to prepare themself for what's to come, before suddenly lunging towards you. You just barely managed to deflect it in time, but you're sent sliding back a few feet.)

"What's the matter Stardust, too tired for a little squabble~?" (They tease in that familiar tone, though much more manic now. Their eyes staring at you, wide, crazed, almost feral... You have to defend yourself, but... but you can't bring yourself to attack them. What if they're right?... I stole their happy ending... do I deserve this?...)

"Come now Stardust, it's no fun if you won't FIGHT BACK!!!" (They shriek as they lunge for you again, deflecting it just in time, only for your dagger to be sent flying out of your hands and onto the grass. You fall backwards and onto the ground, looking up at them and sliding back a couple feet.)

(Loop simply stares at you, nodding their head towards your dagger... They want you to fight back... they want to earn this... You try to craft a speed bonus, Make Up The Time. A wave of nausea rushes over you as you can't quite manage to produce it. Right... Craft Exhaustion... You slowly grab your dagger, watching Loop cautiously, getting back to your feet. They simply watch before giving a smirk once you're standing again.)

"You know, in a way, I am so very proud of you! You did so good, Stardust~! I am so proud, Stardust~! The Universe brought you to victory~! It only had to lead, and you followed~! And I suppose, what the Universe wanted from me, was to just shut up and take it! Everyone's favorite cosmic joke~! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"

(They suddenly rush forward again, you're not fast enough this time, their dagger slices across your shoulder. You let out a cry of pain as your hand goes to cover the wound, dark fluid slowly oozing out from under your hand.)

"From main character," (They take a wide slice at you, easily avoiding it. They're just thrashing about, not really trying to hit you yet.)

"To stage director," (Slice)

"To sponsor," (Slice)

"To CORPSE!" (ACK! That last lunge caught you off guard, slicing across your chest. You stumble back again, panting, shaking, the adrenaline pumping through you helps numb the pain and exhaustion, likely the only reason you're still on your feet.)

"... The king... It took me dozens, hundreds, thousands of loops, just so I could beat him a single time, did you know that? No matter how hard I tried, the King always defeated me." (Loop stares at the wound they'd left on your chest, still tightly gripping their dagger with their arms hanging at their sides. After another moment they snap out of it, that bright, fake smile visible across their eyes once more.)

"And yet, look how easily you beat him, your first time! Oh, you may think it was easy, but just seeing you succeed... I was so blindingly angry!!! Why did you manage to beat him this easily?! What kept me from defeating him?!? What script was I following that kept me from victory?!? IS THAT WHAT THE UNIVERSE WANTED FROM ME?!? THE UNIVERSE, THE STARS, THE KING... OUR COUNTRY... I HATE THEM ALL!!! I HATE THEM!!! THEY CAN ALL DIE!!!"

(They rush towards you again, you spot an opening, you have to fight back! You have to stop this! You grip your dagger tighter, ducking below their strike and slashing across their chest, you don't want to hurt them, but you have to do something to defend yourself.)

(They stumble some, gripping the wound on their chest, looking down at it, then back up at you... Their eyes twitch, looking raving mad at this point... They start to laugh... laugh and laugh and laugh, growing into a manic cackle, then practically screaming in a fit of hysteria. They lift their dagger, stabbing it into the star emblazing their chest. You stare in horror for a moment before...)

(Rewind SFX)

(Loop stands before you, their right eye glowing that visceral shade now, the wounds gone, just as if they never happened.)

"What? Surprised you're not the only one who can loop back? Did you already forget my little sob story~? I guess that's what you do best, isn't it, FORGET?!"

(Loop Just Attacks you, guarding just in time to avoid serious damage, but you're still blasted back several feet. Your heels dig into the ground as they skid across. You huff out heavily, your vision going hazy, you don't know how long you can keep this up...)

"... I finally saw your party, earlier. I did really well, this whole time. Made sure they never saw me. Made sure I never saw them. Those pale copies of the party I knew. I didn't want to see them, ever again. Didn't want to know. Hah, can you believe, I forgot their names, for a time? Despair and trauma does that to you, sometimes, doesn't it?... But... I had to talk to them, didn't I? I was ready to tell them everything... Tell them who I was, what happened to me, that they had to go after you... And yet... And yet, when they saw me... It was like they were looking at a stranger... Can you imagine how it feels, Stardust?..."

(Loop trails off, staring down at their dagger... your dagger... coated in your own blood. They glance back up at you, their eyes filled with pure, seething rage. You take a couple steps back, tears forming in your eye... You can't do it anymore... you can't fight back...)

"I loved them... I loved them... I loved them...!!! And yet, they didn't recognize me!!! Didn't remember me!!! Because, it never happened to me, did it? It happened to you!!! You're the one who got their perfect ending!!!!!! This... remembering the times I spent with them, when they can't remember me, this is worse! This is worse than forgetting!!!!!! I wish I could forget, Stardust!!!!!! Ooooh, Stardust, do you know how this feels? Can you imagine it? DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS, TO KNOW THAT SOME COPY OF YOU WON, AND YOU'RE LEFT WITH NOTHING?!? MIRABELLE... ISABEAU... ODILE... BONNIE...!!!!!! THEY WERE MINE, THEY WERE MINE, THEY WERE MINE!!!!!! THEY WERE MINE FIRST!!!!!!

AND YOU STOLE THEM FROM ME!!!!!!"

(Loop is right... You stole it all from them... You didn't earn it, you don't have the right to claim it, you're just a thief... Loop runs at you, dagger ready to strike once more. You stand still, dropping yours to the ground and closing your eye tight... accepting whatever comes next.)

(With a flash of pain, you're knocked to the ground. In another moment, Loop is above you, hands on your neck. They'll kill you, you know they will.)-

-------------------------------------------

[rontra]

tell me more about these OCs. What’s their deal. How’s life where they live. Do they have games on their phones

the 4 dipshits i drew yesterday are from one of the oldest oc settings ive got (they were minted from the forge of stupid fuckheads in the year of our lord 2011) (and i'm very mean to them<3)

so because it's so old a lot of my followers will recognize them or even be familiar with previous iterations of their story/lore... there's been like. 3 discreet incarnations of it by now. and 3.0 needs some serious aid so this might be 4.0 now. so basically things people know may or may not be canon anymore. i just go in there and sift thru the entrails like fnaf mangle when im bored its my toys

but basically they live in chess world. and they all hate it. and life is bad. because of the Forever War. we should put a stop to that. but the Powers That Be are very picky about the steps that need to be taken to End the Forever War so that part sucks too. also because its chess world everybody has a lil rank and title and has to go perish on the battlefield or whatever

yesterday''s posts,

these two assholes are flang (blonde) and kaitlin (has games on her phone). they're part of the group of 4 main characters with kaitlin serving as the "guy everyone gives exposition to" vehicle, because she just got here, because it's also an isekai (surprise!). so she owns a phone and has games on it but she can't use it anymore because there's no phone service in Chess World. sad!

her rank is king (she/her king W), which means she has a lot of responsibilities in a lot of areas--none of which she wants or really signed up for, but her fun new wife (the black queen) just kinda recruited her into it. in the setting, king/queen are primarily military titles, then government positions; it is not necessary to be royalty "by blood", hence these unruly (albeit rare since there can only be one of each at a time) pawn-to-queen and pawn-to-king promotions happening on the board. she also has a cursed sword that is surprisingly unrelated to all of that but it has magic powers

flang (they/she) is From chess world and has grown up in alabaster. her mother is a doctor so she is too. her rank is pawn. she has a lot of issues and almost all of them are because alabaster sucks ass to live in if you're even like 1% outside of what alabaster considers Proper. it's a "reasonably stable and reasonably safe" kingdom to live and work in, but that safety and stability is always conditional; it's only stable and safe if you're born 100% conforming to it or discard your existing self to assimilate into it. this has made flang a very precious kind of insane that hurts them and everybody around them all of the time. but it can be repaired by defecting from the country, scaring their family, getting a fun haircut, almost succumbing to a fever, and finally the tender touch of a lesbian who has games on her phone

the other two people in the Main 4 are aster (kaitlin's wife, queen) and erin (the other queen) and are NOT the people i drew yesterday (BDHJBGS)

this is aster and erin 👇

you can tell because they have the look of 2 people who have been ruining each other for like a decade now and arent gonna stop until they change or die

aster (she/they) is trying to kill the white king for Revenge Reasons and ending the forever war is just like a cool side effect for her. she's the one who got kaitlin into all of this mess which is complicated because on the one hand, she got kaitlin into all of this mess and is trying to strongarm her into doing things she absolutely doesn't want to do (like killing people). on the other hand though, being roped into all of this mess did pretty directly save kaitlin's life in the first place and somehow loops back around to improving her mental health in the long run. so who's to say whether big murder plots that only you like and want are bad to do or not

erin (she/her) is normal about that freak^ but is in a very bad position because aster getting kaitlin on the board and starting their big dumb plan is a very clear signal to erin that aster has already won, long before anyone else thinks that. erin doesn't really gaf about the white king but she has other things she cares about and is willing to die to protect. to erin, aster's victory means she's on borrowed time and it won't be long before aster will go Through Her to get what they want. there's a confrontation on the horizon where erin fully believes one of them will kill the other one. but also they're like in love. but also erin has way better gfs available. you understand

the two other bitches i drew yesterday are NOT in the main 4 theyre just some other freaks . this is zarni (short hair) and fal (blonde) 👇

faolan (she/her) is the white queen's bishop which means she's the piece closest to the queen--basically shes erin's right hand arm man. she's erin everything. her confidant. her best friend. her silly rabbit. (is that what erin calls her?) no.

fal WANTS to be all of those things and has a weird crush on the queen but erin never lets anybody in and that includes fal. but basically faolan is the bitch who's always in it for Rank And Power and has climbed as high as she can and is still vying for erin's personal approval and acknowledgement because nothing's ever enough for her. she sucks to hang out with and almost dies very badly but zarni has her back

zarni (she/her) isnt actually from either kingdom she's with the unrelated third party pirate faction that mostly keeps to itself and has its own squabbles and drama that doesn't really have anything to do with the Forever War. an outlaw... a GRIMINAL... she met faolan way back when fal was much lower rank than she is now. fal was escorting her to the capital to receive basically a slap on the wrist for doing crimes in alabaster territory and they kinda hit it off in a weird way. right now zarni is technically like. fal's hired muscle. her right hand arm man (henchman edition). but for zarni it mostly doubles as a convenient way to have free passage into and within alabaster, for her own sidequest reasons. she ends up saving fal's stupid life because unfortunately they care about each other now and it's embarrassing for everyone. but maybe it'll distract faolan from looking at erin just long enough for her to realize she needs a big strong woman to carry her off into the sunset and build her a cottage where she can fucking retire already. or something. one can dream

anyway that's the people i drew yesterday (and the 2 in the middle that i didnt even draw but i would feel neglectful if i didnt mention). ssorry for the long post i just love talking about my ocs and these ones are 13 years old so talking about them comes Very Easily To Me MDJBSBJGS

i skimped on details just to get thru the tl;dr basics but i hope it was at least entertaining (and if anyone has more questions after this i dont mind i know i skipped a lot HDHBJG)

to me this is an oc setting entirely populated by stupid assholes who are constantly ruining at least 1 other character's life in some way. and that's how they all save each other. and that's beautiful. godbless our beautiful gay chess soldiers

[fluff-writing]

I haven't read Book of Prava so I can't see how the lore justifies her actions, but even if you take VoH's explanation Prava gives of "I didn't actually want to kill any of you initially plus it doesn't matter anymore" at face value, Prava still acts dickish and sometimes even downright villainous in the main storyline. To list a few of her offenses:

> Orders Vigo tortured and killed and enables the use of Father's Grace for most of the Cathedral army (which under customs of war would qualify as torture and gratuitous suffering)

> Personally tells you, the player that Rathma deserved to die and Inarius was completely and utterly justified in murde- uh I mean "it's not murder when daddy does it..." And there is 1 in 7 chance you are currently playing Necromancer...

> Sends her forces at Donan's request to Scosglen who do nothing but commit petty hate crimes on civilians, and when something that warrants their help (read: Astaroth) shows up, they just get outta here and are never mentioned again.

> Just straight up orders everyone in Caldeum killed and it is even implied Knights at Kor Valar were repeatedly taught every single person in Caldeum is demon-posessed.

> Tells Donan that she's glad his son died to his face

Based on all this, it was probably originally planned for her to become a villain at some point but as we know that didn't happen. So, how does current lore justify or at least explain Prava's jerkishness/villainy when the expansion insists she's the reasonable one in her faith?

I've been mulling this ask around for a minute now, and it's just making me tired and killing my motivation. Here you go.

Prava is a villain, and a morally grey character. She's Inarius's right hand, and the head of the Cathedral of Light, both of which have been pretty consistently presented as a villainous force. She's a fanatic who believes her God's word is complete truth. She also believes wholeheartedly that she is doing the right thing.

It's incredible what a human is capable of when they think it is correct and just.

Yeah, she's going through a character arc in her book. Prava was an extremely sheltered young woman who had been indoctrinated by fucking Inarius for most of her life. The guy who always hated humanity, and would've detonated the planet if he still could. Yeah, her views are going to be pretty harsh. They're supposed to be. You're not supposed to agree with her. The Cathedral is a mad angel's murder-cult posing as absolute good (and, unfortunately, is a better option than a lot of other things going on around Sanctuary). You might have an ally in her, if your goals align, and right now she's not interested in making more enemies so she's playing nice.

The difference between her and Urivar is that she's beginning to realize that there's more to the world than what she was taught, and more to humanity. She's making an attempt to learn and change, now that her god is dead and the army that she made was slaughtered around her. Urivar is burning people alive because they're weak, Prava is beginning to gather people together so that they can be strong together (sounds like some other mother we know.)

You're allowed to not like her.

I like her because she is flawed, and she has the potential to change her ways. You keep saying that the redemption arc fell flat, and I'm going to tell you that the redemption arc hasn't happened yet. It just started.

This is Diablo we're talking about though, so brace yourself for some inevitable disappointment.

Speaking of disappointment, I don't believe at all that it was planned for Prava to become a main villain that we fight, but I do think it's possible that Inarius was, at one point. DIV's development was weird as hell, with an entire prototype getting thrown out, and you can feel how clunky the resulting story is. Yeah the cinematic where Lilith kills him is incredible, but it really, really should have been a human that took him out for good.

It makes sense that the right hand of what could have been a main antagonist would do and say some despicable things.

[analyzing-people-like-hell]

ANALYSIS #3: 03/09/24

A new critter has entered the ring, a very goober-ish one indeed. Yours was a bit tricky to pinpoint, especially with my unfamiliarity of the characters you've chosen, but I think I've done a decent enough job for now. Hopefully you're able to find something that resonates.

What were those characters you picked anyways?

Ahh, you're a very eccentric little fellow, aren't you? You seem quite fun, but the fun ones are always the most concerning. Why don't we try looking at your background first?

"LORE":

Loneliness is a feeling you know all too well. You've been backstabbed, abandoned, forgotten. Almost everything associated with the idea of being alone is something you're able to understand. Though, you're weird in a sense. You have friends, you're able to make conversations with people, but it never seems to last, does it? You're always the second option. The temporary friend. A tutorial guide, even. Left to built paths for others but never being given your own. You yearn to have the lasting relationships that come so naturally for others. All you really want is to be seen. By anybody. Somebody. Just one person would be enough.

And by gods, what in the seven hells is going on with your parents.

I might not have much proof for this one (other than Scaramouche, I suppose), but I have a specific feeling that one of your parents has abandoned you, either literally or mentally, and the other simply can't take care of you properly because of all the slack they're picking up from the other. They both either can't or don't pay attention to you. They never seem to fully support you or understand your needs. They're usually too consumed with their own lives or their own problems to recognize yours. Either that, or they attempt to but are too unstable to really give you what you what you need. They compare you to others. They expect you to follow in their footsteps but they don't even tell you how you're supposed to do that, let alone consider if that's something you want. You're left in the dust and then expected to find your way back home alone, but the truth is that you don't even know what home is. Home is where the heart is, but your heart has been kicked around so many times it can't tell left from right anymore. You just wanna know what home feels like. Why is home so much to ask for?

People tend to push you to the side. Most likely because you don't think the way they think. You're not the most logical person in a room, or at least not in the way people expect you to be. You're more experienced in emotions, feelings, and desires, not economics. You do have many skills, but you're never given the opportunity to prove yourself. These skills would be great in the real world, but the real world doesn't see the value in them without proof, which is the same proof they're preventing you from having. They even have the audacity to judge you for not having said proof. That's why you stay on the outskirts of life. You sit cheering on the sidelines while desperately hoping that one day you'll be able to join their games. That one day they'll realize you do deserve to be on the big screen. You swear you do. Why won't they let you play? Why don't you deserve that attention? What are you doing wrong? It consumes you.

I am afraid I can't do much to mend the empty tears in your heart, but I can try to identify the main ailments. Let's see what really keeps your mind pacing.

THE TRUTH:

You don't entirely feel human. You love people, you love making connections, but it's like there's something wrong with you. Like God cursed you to be indefinitely incompatible with the world. You try to embrace your differences. Confidence is always key, isn't it? It has to be. Because if it isn't, you won't have anything. Because if it isn't, all you will be left with is the intrusive fact that you will always be disconnected from the people you long to be next to. You know it, we both do. You're stuck in a loop of your own isolation and it is driving you mad by the second.

Despite being so in tune with your feelings, you have a lot of trouble verbalizing those emotions. You tend to have trouble knowing yourself in general, which is ironic considering how you're also unapologetically yourself. It's a weird mix to have, and it's confusing to even yourself. This confusion bleeds out into the rest of your daily life. You might accidentally make promises you can't keep. You're probably not the best at planning because of it. You also might need a lot of personal space to figure out your own thoughts. It's all just so confusing. You wish things wouldn't be so frustrating anymore.

What makes this worse is that you're actively ignoring the problems that you can recognize. It is inarguably evident. I can't blame you really, since ignoring them is all you're really able to do with what you've been given in life, but at some point you will need to confront them. You can only stay in a house engulfed in flames for so long. One day you will lose control, and all that will be left is an empty rage. And that's assuming you aren't already burning as we speak.

I'm afraid I can't even think of much more to add. The world has drowned you and in retaliation you are flaming. It hurts you, but you will do anything to make sure it hurts the world more, to make sure it feels the exact same pain it's given you. There's not much to add to such a self-explanatory tragedy.

I don't have a solution to aid something like this, but maybe showing you your own best traits would help restore your faith in humanity, even if it's only for a second. 

YOUR BEST TRAITS:

You see the beauty in things that go overlooked by most. You have a genuine appreciation for the smallest things in life, and you want to do what you can to keep those things at their best. Not everybody is willing to take the time to notice these kinds of details, and then to make sure those details stay noticed and remembered? That's the kind of "Tender Loving Care" that can only be given through people like you. It's an important value, and you should make sure you remember that as well.

You bring out the best in people by being yourself. You help people let loose, and frankly everybody needs a little more of that in their lives. You're smart though. You know when to take a step back, you know your boundaries and stop when needed. You're empathetic and observant, and it makes you one of the greatest protectors anybody could have. People should be honored to have you on their side, because you'd go as far as you could to make sure the people you truly care about aren't left behind like you were.

Despite all the shit you've been put through, you do love the world. You want to live. You want to have fun. You want time know people. You're adventurous, you live in the moment, and you'll be damned if you don't try to make all your suffering worth it. Your passion shows throughout every aspect of you. Do not let go of that. It is what keeps you fighting and the world needs more fighters, especially in this decade. Just make sure you don't die a martyr. As honorable as it is, we cannot lose the few warriors we have. And you are one of the most priceless and irreplaceable warriors we have. Do not let the world take that away from you.

Also you'd be an awesome rockstar B}

And with that, I think I'll leave my thoughts here and take my bow.

With utmost gratitude (and hopefully utmost accuracy),

Dr. WZ

[asystemerror]

Drop the blorbo list! Tell us why you like them!

Prompt from here!

I have a lot,,,,, Some I haven't even yapped about on here yet,,,,,, Imma break them up by fandom though to make reading easier haha

Identity V:

-Andrew Kreiss:

I like Andrew for a lot of reasons! His design, gameplay, overall theme, there's so much I could ramble on and on about. I remember what really cemented him on my fave list was parts of his personality and general character tidbits (one being sun sensitivity). Additionally, a lot of what I consider to be my "weirder" interests happen to align with him. Sometimes it's easier to delve into them and be my authentic cringe self with the guise of character deep dives haha.

All in all, I think he's an interesting character. Kinda my go to guy to say "Ah yes my son" when speaking about fictional characters.

-Emma Woods:

One of my faves from when I first started! She actually was one of the 3 that drew me in tbh (I called her the "cute gardener girl" back then). I remember being convinced I would main her, but alas.... only in duos. Despite this, she's stands strong as one of my top faves. I find her backstory/manor game to be really interesting - and weirdly entertaining considering the drama she causes in the game. I really enjoy her general "cutesy but dangerous" vibe. I've always been a sucker for that troupe.

Additionally, Lady Truth is one of my favorite spin off characters in the game! I love a good mystery with a female lead!! I honestly hope we see more of her outside of anniversary events.... She has so much good lore potential!

-Kurt Frank:

I didn't choose the Kurt life.... the Kurt like chose ME. No seriously I never would have guessed I'd end up mailing him. The percypocolypse does things to a man. I'm glad it did though. Kurt has honestly become one of my fave characters, I find him so silly and interesting. While his deductions are...interesting to read, I loved his manor game story! I wish there was more content of him (ex. translated twitter replies) I could look at for him :/ That aside, as a fellow daydreamer, I find Kurt's attitude contagious and his rambles fun. I wish he didn't die before sharing said story, but whatever. Maybe another event with him leading it will appear to fill the void with silly.

-Martha Behamfil:

Not only was she my first rescue main, but Martha helped me figure out my gender (real) (not clickbait). So uh, I do love her a lot for that. I also love her general themes of independence, while still keeping in touch with one's femininity in a way (ex. chasing her dreams to be a pilot while also indulging in a love life). I also just honestly love her outfits and gameplay as well. She's never not slayed in my eyes thus far. I have a very soft spot for her dskhafj -Ann

Annnn!!!! My lovely hunter main. She's sunk her cat claws into my heart and I do not wish for her to let go. I honestly love everything about her. Her backstory is hella engaging (NETEASE GIVE ME MORE FOOD), her abilities are fun, and honestly I find Apostle funny.

She was very quick to becoming one of my faves. I honestly could gush about her forever, but Im trying to keep these explanations semi fair!

-Michiko

I love Michi..... She brings me great calm and reminds me of my grandmother (she had a painting of geishas in her house when I was little). She's one of the few characters I've genuinely nearly cried after reading their backstory.

While I don't main her much anymore, I can't say I have ever stopped loving Michi as a character/looking at cool content of her. She's just gRAHHhh /POS

Fnaf:

-Mangle What's not to love about Mangle? They're like a silly dog. And I honestly fuck with that. I also just love there concept as like a robot nerd, but yk. My precious mungle fungle tungle bungle.

-Toy Bonnie

I honestly was very "meh" towards him for a good while. UNTIL I like essentially got kin assigned him by my old amino friends. He was basically my mascot for a bit so like I hold a lil bit of "hehe lil guy" to him.

-Ballora

I was OBSESSED with her as a kid. I cosplayed her, I drew her, I made fics, honestly I like was fully ready to see this crazy ballerina robot lady attack people. Alas, she only got scooped... LUCKILY THE FANDOM FILLED THE VOID THOUGH!! I love seeing neat content with her!

Don't Starve Together:

-Wendy My silly main! I mentally adopted her and Abagail a while ago hehe. I find them really fun to play, plus like... I think I just like semi morbid but cutesy characters so, HELL YEAH. I'm still learning the best way to play her, but I find it a fun relaxing experience to do. Overall I associate her with great calm and zen. She's a great gal.

MFMM: (Shortened list so I don't put the whole cast)

-Miss Fisher She is the moment, she is iconic, she IS Miss Fisher. No character has made me feel as empowered as she has. Like it's actually insane. She is another character that I associate with my grandma as well as they introduced me to the series itself. It truly wouldn't be Miss Fisher without me remembering the beautiful lady posed on the covers of the books on my grandmother's end table. Its been overall a very nice piece of media to sink my teeth into... NOT TO MENTION THERES SO MUCH OF IT!! I HAVENT EVEN FINISHED THE BOOKS!

-Dot

I love Dot. In both mediums of the series. Her character growth and overall attitude complements Miss Fisher's perfectly and is honestly such a delight to see. I also find her own moments of sleuthing to be really fun! I love when she has that strong confidence. TLDR: I wanna pinch her cheeks

[majormeilani]

Hey, just wondering; do OC asks count as requests (i.e., the 6/10 in your bio)? I want to send you an ask but I'm not sure. Also, which OCs are you interested in at the moment? I don't want to bother you with OC asks for OCs you don't really like anymore (I was thinking about sending an ask for your Sunshine characters but IDK if you're wanting to talk about them).

oc asks are always open!!! the requests thing in my bio is just for these drawing requests i was taking a while back as both a reminder for myself to do them and also how many of the ones i was taking got fulfilled thus far. they got a bit pushed back in priority due to irl stuff or other things going on 😔😔😓 (i had art trades and artfight happened as well as shifting interest, lack of time, motivation, my health and other stuff. i like doing requests but typically i prefer being given payment or doing art trades stuff over just drawing for free tho sometimes depending on stuff i do take them ??? but usually only if i REALLY want to draw something or it's oc related cjhxjccjhxcj tho once i find the chance i hope to finish those requests but i have a lot on my plate rn......)

but i'm open to any questions about any of my characters! rn my main focus is on my hattytime ocs but i'm okay with questions about literally any of my other ocs too!!!

with sunshine, i do like to talk about those characters but any super in depth questions i may not answer if they're plot related but i appreciate inquiries about them and such! there is a lot that i can share about them that is rather general though but for the time being i'm keeping most plot+lore under some wraps.

but that doesn't mean i don't welcome any curiosity regarding them or their characters! i still like all my other oc stories too (salem, ale, jer, ect) even if i don't talk about them as much. part of me doesn't often just because most don't seem all that interested in them and also my personal hyperfixation often shifts. but just bc i'm not as fixated on them doesn't mean i don't like em or anything! just my adhd brain likes to focus on certain things more but if ppl want to hear stuff about a character or something i'm always happy to share.....

[pens-swords-stuff]

Hi there! For your AMA asks; what are the kinds of asian characters that you would personally like to see in the media that you consume?

I personally don't have a certain kind, archetype, trope, or anything specific type of Asian characters I want to see.

I just want to see more of them. In every possible iteration and archetype possible. As long as they're well-rounded, have a lot of depth, are treated with the same love and care that white characters are given, and aren't just caricatures or stereotypes, I'm here for it.

Seriously, any sort of Asian character will do. It doesn't matter what they are, as long as they're well-developed!

I had a bit of a shock and a minor identity crisis a few years ago when I looked back on some of the characters I really loved in American media and realized... Oh man, they were really my favorites just because they were Asian. In Harry Potter, I've always cited Cho Chang as my favorite character even though objectively, she's not written to be that great of a character. I didn't even realize that Numbuh Three in Codename: Kids Next Door was Japanese until I was doing a deep dive into the lore of the show when I was an adult, but she was my favorite character anyway because I related to her; she looked like me.

Every single Asian character (especially if they were a female character) that I grew up watching in American shows and reading in American books, I gravitated towards as a child. It didn't matter if they were well written or badly written; they were my favorite.

My point is: Representation matters. Even if I didn't realize it at the time, it apparently meant a lot to me; It's not a coincidence that I gravitated towards Asian and Asian-coded characters, what few that I had. Think of how much powerful that could've been for me if they'd been written really well? If there were a lot for me to choose from? But instead, I was left with a startling realization that wow, I really wanted that representation as a child, and I clung to the few that I was allowed to have — even if they weren't even that good.

And I also personally never found the question of "what kind of Asian character do you want to see more of" very helpful or enlightening. To me, it seems like there's no real answer and risks further stereotyping or swinging too hard the other way. (For me! Personally! It's a valid question, just one that never really worked for me). I want to see every kind of Asian character, just as many as white characters. I want every single background, heroes and villains, love interests and main characters, best friends and enemies... Everything. Absolutely everything.

I don't want to be drawn to an Asian character just because they're an Asian anymore, just because they're the only ones I had in American media, just because they're the only ones that look like me. I want to have so many Asian characters to be drawn to so that I can pick and choose which ones are my favorites and which ones that I identify the most with. I want to have the chance to be choosey and picky about which ones are my favorites.

As long as they're well-written and developed and have depth, that's valuable representation. And it matters so much. It definitely mattered to me when I was a young child.

AAPI AMA 2022: Ask me anything about being Japanese!

Remember that these are just my personal experiences and opinions! My thoughts and experiences are not necessarily representative of every Japanese person, and should not be taken as such.

[corishadowfang]

Hi! Hope you don't mind my asking, but would you be willing to talk some about your oc Kiru? They seem interesting, from the tiny snippets I've seen so far. Hope you're having a good day, by the way!

Yeah, of course! (I'm always up to talk about these dorks, haha.)

Kiru's from a story that I've been working on for, uh...a very long time, haha. (I have some old info for it--plus an older picture of Kiru--here, though I very much need to update...a lot of stuff. There've been a lot of lore changes since the last time I worked on the story, even if the basic premise is still the same.) He's a Familiar, which--the short version of that is:

Dragons used to exist in the world the story's set in and were the only creatures capable of using magic.

People wanted to be able to use magic, and found out they could do it through the 'cores' found inside dragons.

Dragons were basically hunted to extinction, but people found out how to artificially recreate the cores from the remaining ones they had.

The cores could be kind of dangerous to use without some sort of buffer, and initially once they were used up, they were gone, so people created little creatures to stick them in to extend the cores' lifespans and protect themselves.

Kiru's the main character Aiden's Familiar! He was originally bought to act as Aiden's pacemaker, but they ended up becoming friends, too. (Which is, uh...pretty odd in this world, since Familiars aren't technically supposed to be, like...sentient. Kiru's a bit of an outlier, as far as he and Aiden are aware.) He's kind of a goofball and really likes learning new things, and cares about Aiden a lot, but there's definitely...a lot of things he struggles with, even if he tries not to show it. (Specifically, a lot of stuff related to how most people don't really...see him as a living thing, and the loneliness involved with not really knowing if there's anyone else out there like him.)

The drawing I posted earlier is his and Aiden's combined dragon form! Basically, the more magic someone uses, the more draconic they become. There are all sorts of side effects to that, but Aiden and Kiru don't have many of the normal ones (which are usually, uh...severe injuries and potentially death), and instead have this weird thing where like...their minds kind of merge temporarily? Not scary while they're in that form, but definitely freaks them out a bit afterwards.

He's a lot of fun to write about, anyways! He and Aiden have a very fun dynamic, since they both care about each other a lot and kind of literally depend on each other to survive, but there are also a lot of stressors in their friendship that really only start to be addressed after the story kicks off and they don't have a choice not too anymore, haha.

Thank you for asking!! It's fun to talk about my dorks. (And thank you, my day's gone well; hope yours is going good, too!)

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

I'm broken and it's absolutely beautiful! Happy Disability Month!

So my main fandom the Ninjago fandom may not know this about me even though it's pinned on my page, I am a disabled lgbtq member! I use a walker, forearm crutches and cane to get around because my body is really messed up it's not just my knee.

I actually have a genetic disorder called ehlers-danlos syndrome my body's collagen is either nonexistent or very messed up and it leads to whole body issues and as of yesterday I was also diagnosed as a covid long hauler my body is severely feverish constantly and severely heat intolerant. I also have balance issues due to my Eustocian Tubes (Tubes that go from the inner ear to the throat) being too small they don't equalize properly

I'm also taking this time during disability pride month to remind you this is why Cyrus Borg is so important in Lego Ninjago! He is the representation that we rarely get and even more rare he is a highly respectful representation. He never makes it about his disability, he's always stubborn and proud of who he is whenever on screen.

I love cosplaying him I always make sure I am sitting when I do the only Time I cosplayed him while walking around was at Brickworld with Diisdoodles and Though.She.Be.Little

(Final Note) A reminder we have since had a falling out so I cropped the photo out of respect as they both have me blocked and want nothing to do with me anymore( I will just say they were at fault as well but they do not want to admit it) I do treasure the originals however. Diisdoodles is even cutting my characters from their projects as someone told me so have patience with them as my characters were going to play a major role in Benevolence of a Physician I honestly don't know remembering the lore and everything how they're going to manage that but I wish them best of luck in rewriting their entire project.

[emordnilap-fr]

Emordnilap #197534 || hatchery || sales tab || gen1 sales tab || art dragon sales || bsky

emord/vinnie || he/it || 24 || trans guy :]

sideblog: @hailthedragonmaster <- where everything else goes. also where i talk more generally now

i'm a yapper. i yap. it's rumored that sometimes... i even draw

i have a hatchery, and can breed dragons on request. all dragons are first come, first served when posted, unless you've asked for something specific. i always post on tumblr and list on the AH at the same time!

i don't do commissions anymore, though i may occasionally do a YCH or sell dragons with art

i tag for the following:

genes, as "[x] gene": jaguar/rosette, orb/weaver, tapir, hypnotic, jewels, polkadot, chess/checkers, octopus/rings, tentacles, featherbeard, space, and mandibles

eye types, as "[eye type]": multigaze, shadow primal, plague primal

apparel: chitinous armor

other: blood, death, body horror, eyestrain, flashing

general tags:

emord rambles, not fr, my art, my lore, art by others, lore by others, more but they're going in the tags

characters as "c: [name]"

locations as "[location name]"

vv extras vv

i'm a welder! graduated with a TD on may 18, 2023. :3 sometimes i talk about it on my sideblog. currently i build food processing machinery as a stainless steel TIG welder

"what do you use to draw?" currently i use my finger and my phone. app is 'sketch - draw and paint' and is no longer available on app stores. i'm god's strongest soldier (<- is not)

aside from fr, my main media interests are mp100, halo, fossil fighters, and more. pls feel free to talk to me about them

i don't have a DNI i curate as i go. figure out about me yourself. but real quick: 🇵🇸 🏳️‍⚧️ <- support these or else

[student-film-lying-piece-of-shit]

Hello! So I'm here today with an idea I've been bouncing around for a long, long time. A few folk have been headcanon-ing that Tim may have DID, but I do think it's a 100% canon possibility Tim has an alter.

I know some people might think that me talking about this possibility could be seen as me mirroring other possible tropes we've seen in horror films (let's look at media such as Split, which dictates a kidnapper who has several personalities as the prime one) and the countless almost comedic portrayals in others (the strange reoccuring theme of "sneezing to become xyz in anime for some odd reason?). However with Tim it's different.

So, I want to start off with this. Marble Hornets is a heavy character study, and the lore isn't too highlighted on. What I mean is that we don't know how the operator takes over people, and we're not sure how these dissociative states work. Not that we're constantly left in the dust. It's a manner that it's focused on the protagonists going through these trials and tribulations rather than spoon-feeding us the intricate details on how this being works.

We know the side effects, and we know how to "stop" it (the medication we see throughout) but as far as how the operator actually takes over the characters (more so referring to Tim and Brian), it's more up to us to break down if we want more than just "spooky being does spooky stuff!"

So I will use this allagory for how I see it: Brian and Tim both have a car (this is a stand in for their body). Brian owns his, it's all in his name and he doesn't let anyone use it. Tim has a car, however, he shares it. It's understand two names legally.

Imagine Brian gets robbed and he's held up at gunpoint to drive. He has to do whatever this guy says or else he'll get shot on the spot. Or even that the robber straight up puts Brian in the trunk, and drives and does whatever he wants with the car and Brian is absolutely left in the dark. This car may be his legally, but he's barely the owner anymore.

Okay, now that we have that, imagine Tim drives the car, and it's pretty okay. Then the other person he shares the car with gets hijacked and the robber forces him to do things, or throws this person in the trunk and does whatever he wants. However the robber returns the car to Tim with seemingly no damage, alongside with his friend. Every time, or nearly everytime the other person drives, this happens. Tim has absolutely no control over these things, and sure, he does get his car back sometimes, but at what cost?

The main thing that makes Brian and Tim different is how Brian never, canonically, had a break in his hoodie state. He never wakes up as Brian, scared and confused. He never is not under the influence. The fact he carried the audition tapes can make this theory a bit wonky, but back to the car metaphor. Imagine Brian bashing his legs and screaming in a trunk, and the robber noticing. He has to do something to get him to shut up, even if it's something small. So it could easily be that aswell. However I'm going by the deal that there was never a break.

Tim is not in the Masky state (from what see, which to be fair, could be a lot more) as frequent as we make it up to be. He loses giant gaps, but we see him a handful of times on screen as "The Masked Man". The big deal is that Tim has these breaks and they're for days, weeks. He isn't always under this influence. He has more control.

We can chalk this up to the medication they take, and I feel like Hoodie at one point would've takened the meds? And we would've seen Brian. We also see empty med bottles around where Hoodie's been (he could've dumped them but still, I wanted to say.)

I don't think the meds 100% prevent Tim's dissociative states. It just helps with the other aspects and ends of his slender sickness, and it can aid in it, but I  think him taking the meds /=/ him not becoming absolutely feral. He should of course take his medication, but I think it more so helps with his seizures and psychotic effects.

Hence why he shares it with Jay: why would he share something that Jay wouldn't need? Jay never has a masked state, canonically. Why would Jay need meds for something that focuses on Tim not dissocating? It feels weird, not to mention very out-of-character and pointless.

Now, let's look at the functionality of how dissociative disorders work. We're gonna focus on the disorder I believe Tim has in the cluster of dissociative disorders, Dissociative Identity Disorder. The basic criteria is

-  having one or personalities (inculding the core) which distinct, individual features

- amnesia (ie: missing large gaps of time due to people fronting, "knowing" people despite never remembering meeting them, waking up in random places you don't remember driving to)

- feeling detached from your body, also known as dissociation, or just not in control

One thing we can obviously apply is the first two. "Masky" is obviously a state that is distinct from Tim's, and is obviously not him. The second one is also stated

"...imagine going into your job only to find out that they fired you for not coming in for three weeks."

As an example of this being canonically said. We are aware Tim feels out of control, and that he doesn't own this body, he's very vocal about not understanding what's going on in his life and body. That he was dragged into this situation and he knows just as much as Jay (though near the end he does have tapes that have information, but even then he barely knows what he's doing in those tapes / has no memory of it).

The second biggest difference between Brian and Tim's slender sickness experience is that Tim has delt with this his whole life. He's seen as a carrier of the sickness the entire third season by Alex and even by himself for some time. He was rasied in a hospital and he talks about how they locked him in his hospital room during outbursts that he didn't remember. His childhood together is something extremely vague to him.

One thing I WANT to highlight, and this thing was actually vital for me to understand there's ambiguity here is how Tim says "They settled for Schizophrenia, but even they weren't really sure."

DID is so commonly misdiagnosed, and there's such a common misconception that Schizophrenia carries the symptom of having multiple personalities. Even among the professionals because of how frowned upon it is to diagnose it if it isn't 100% the ideal presentation of what to expect with a dissocative disorder. Tim 100% could've easily been misdiagnosed as a child.

DID is also a disorder that nearly always stems from severe childhood trauma. It's usually asiocated with heavy abuse. However, picture a 5-8 year old being abandoned by their parent(s) in a facility, which even if it's not the stereotypical psych ward, is still a horrible place to live. As someone who lived in a facility for years, there's so many things to list that I won't weigh on this post. But it is a very stressful place for the staff, let alone a mentally ill child.

Tim had symptoms of a psychotic disorder beforehand, but that doesn't mean he's immune to developing a traumagenic disorder.

So, here's how I see the entire deal:

Tim being a child abandoned by his mother, under the care of inpatient staff, easily witnessing violence and could've been at the end of the horrible health care system (especially for minors) developed an alter to protect him from the stress of the inpatient. When TO came into their lives more frequently, Tim's alter was the victim of TO's influence, not Tim himself.

So yeah! This is my take. I'm willing to talk but read the banner below if you're gonna talk to me about how I'm explaining DID 🙃

[dragonqueenbizawagi]

This shit's awesome! I've been looking through @polarspaz page for a while, and at first I came across this au and it's art and was like, "ew, star wars, ah well, the art is cute at least" but then I started thinking about why I hate star wars now when I used to love it and honestly? I still do love it! I love the detailed, well-built world - the movies just did a shit job at giving it a good story line.

The original trilogy I watched first (because my parents insisted) when I was young and I loved it! But when I got old enough to rewatch it I was old enough to know how sexist and racist George Lucas was and didn't want to (plus I don't want to watch movies much anymore, they're too long, too much commitment).

When I tried to watch the prequels at some point I was warned they would be hard to watch, and yup! Too hard in fact. They are long, complicated, and boring, with almost no familiar characters to latch on to. They're story building, and I didn't remember enough to care about knowing more.

Then recently, I decided to give the new ones a try when they came out because, hey, there's a girl main character and the tv is playing flashy lights and fight sounds! Fine, I guess I'll join you and give star wars another try, mom. And yeah, they were kinda cool. I still couldn't tell you what was going on plot-wise, but they're having a war in the stars and oh look they pulled the surprise siblings twist again, but they're enemies-to-family this time. Woo.

What really made me realize Star Wars wasn't for me though, was when the darkest hour scene hits in one of the movies, Commander Leia and her ship are slowly running out of time and are about to lose, the others are trapped in a mountain about to be death starred into oblivion, and I realized why I hate this. I hate that "we must hold out hope even when there's nothing giving us hope" mentality. It's kinda the same thing that makes me hate dystopian stories and grimdark especially. Actually, Star Wars is a dystopia! The government is a corrupt, evil force and there's a small rebellion force that's usually losing most of the time. If I wanted that I'd watch the news. I live in that, why would I want that in fiction? I like star wars for the magical space knights/cowboys I like the sentient robots, the battle between light and dark magic. And most of all, I liked the CHARACTERS! I mostly go for character focused works with some cool world building, and star wars is that! But then it ruined it with complex politics and grimdark mentalities.

This was all a long and unnecessary rant to say I'm giving Star Wars another chance. Not the movies, but the fanfiction. I think I'll be able to get a better feel for the characters they're in well written stories that care about character growth and taking the time to show that (to be fair, movies are a bad medium for that, they're too fast paced and character growth, like in real life, happens slowly). Plus, anytime I hear about the extra lore not found in movies, especially about the force, it's always awesome! The movies rushed by a lot of it's cool bits of lore because they couldn't display it with cool special effects. That or my ADHD brain could only pay attention to the flashy parts, especially as a kid. But I don't think there was anything about this cool balanced third order I keep hearing about! Sounds like I should consult fanfic, where I learn all the best (and totally accurate) parts of a world!!!

Balance

Just wanted to write down this random scene idea in the Luke and Vader AU, where Obi-Wan and Vader are watching Luke practicing some kata’s. Obi-Wan has only been there for only a few weeks and is still extremely wary of Vader, but is also utterly confused by Luke’s force signature.

He thought for sure Vader would be teaching Luke how to use the dark side of the force, but he can’t sense any darkness in the young one, and yet at the same time he can’t sense any pure light from Luke either.

His curiosity finally gets the better of him and he asks Vader what exactly is he teaching Luke. And Vader just responds. “The Force.” 

Because Vader had explained the duality of the Sith and the Jedi to Luke, explained how the dark side of the force gave you both power and pain, while the light side gave you peace along with emptiness. Vader knew better than anyone what both sides offered and Luke listened intently to his father’s every word.

So when Vader asked Luke what path he wanted to take, Luke just thought about it for a bit before shrugging and saying “Why do I have to be one or the other? Can’t I just be me?”

And Vader, who’s had more than enough bullshit from both the light and the dark side of the force is like, you know what? You’re right, we’ll just wing it. Fuck it.

After hearing the story Obi-Wan is whiplashed as he finally understands what he’s feeling from Luke. It’s balance, true and perfect balance, neither light or dark, just the force in its purest state.

[kyurilin]

Writing ask game: all of them bc I’m genuinely interested!

Gabby you're a menace and I mean that with all the love in my heart

notebook: I have two regular sized notebooks, and then two half sized ones where I will occasionally still write out notes for stuff. Since I switched over to using Google docs exclusively none of my notebooks get used as much anymore

pencil: I honestly love Calibri which is the fucking default font for like Microsoft word. Which is funny because I could use that for my Google docs horde but instead I'm apparently typing in arial

paper: the living room couch is honestly the best place, I can just curl up and type my atrocities to man

docs: so I'm not exactly sure what the exact longest thing I've written is because for one story I only know the page count, but my handwriting is also huge so it would likely be far shorter if it were typed. So my two contenders for longest are Truth Is Golden, the FNAF AU I never finished writing at I believe 290 pages (or close to that) and Present Mic's Totally Bullshit Life at 54k words and a printed copy of 140-ish pages. If I ever type up Truth is Golden maybe it'll be less

nano: I have not mostly because I can't make myself write daily I'm terrible at that

computer: Google Docs, gotta say it's just super nice since I can now just infodump onto an app on my phone rather than pulling out my bag of pens and a notebook and having to make sure my handwriting doesn't look substandard to me that day

genre: I'm 90% sure that now my favorite genre to write is Hurt/Comfort and that I am just as much of a sucker for reading it as I am for writing it. Hey Gabby remember when my favorite genre to write was Action/Adventure and I was terrible at it? I've really grown as a person, now I just emotionally damage my characters

tropes: Childhood Friends to Lovers, I am just absolutely weak for that even if it's not like a main part of the story

tw: I think the darkest theme is actually a part of the character building from my matching tattoos au wip where a character has a history of suicidal thoughts and an attempted suicide.

characters: every character I make no matter the universe loves the hit Pixar franchise Cars and has nothing bad to say about it, they're all Lightning McQueen's #1 fan, I need this to be known. Okay, more seriously though, I think I accidentally dump my own personality into every character a little and I don't mean to which is why I get attached to some in particular. And if they're not like a major OC in a story, their name or personality or look is from a character in something else.

wip: so just to give myself backstory for the current chapter story that I'm very slowly working on, I started a side doc that leads up to the events in that. For anyone reading crumbled rooftops, yes, there is legally a doc out there about Shouta and Hizashi that goes from chapter 298 until the start of the story that will probably never be put out because I wanted to more firmly establish what their relationship was going through since crumbled rooftops has Oboro's perspective and he's a bit of an unreliable narrator at the moment. Gabby I'm so sorry that means nothing to you

coffee: it's the same thing I drink continuously and that is diet Dr pepper at this point my blood is probably diet Dr pepper

personal: I love to slip in hints of stuff that would be fun to write by itself. My favorite part of writing has always been having this whole expanded lore in my mind and being able to incorporate tidbits into other things. I just really love to write and it's fun to share it with people even if I don't share nearly as much as I used to.

playlist: Spotify at some point is going to fucking break into my home and beg me to please chill on the character/story specific playlists I make because I usually find stuff that fits the right sound for a character and it also fits for like three story ideas. I have so many playlists I don't listen to and the mood wildly changes with each one. I have playlists for Cars OCs I have only thought about in passing. I have playlists for stories that never got started. I have a playlist for a character that still, 2 years later, only has one song on it. I cannot be stopped.

[iamcinema]

IAC Reviews #19: Wishbone (2000)

Hey, is anyone still alive out there? I hope so.

Coming off of last year was a disaster, and well, we didn't enter 2021 on the highest of notes. I guess you could say I've been burned out and not having a ton of motivation to do a lot, even with how much I've been grinding on Letterboxd over the past few months. I think I'm ready to come back, and since there's a storm is brewing outside, let's make today a movie night...and boy, do I have a treat for you.

I think I've made it kind of apparent that I have a weakness for terrible, low-budget, trash fires. There's something oddly charming about them where they always find a way to lure me in, and given the scene on Letterboxd, there's a bunch of SOV masochists out there waiting to get their next fix. While digging around for material to cross off my lists on titles to find and add, I was reminded of a terrible, low-budget film that was shot in my hometown over 20 years ago. I'm full of fear for what's to come, and you should be too.

________________________________________

Wishbone is a 2000 horror film directed by Timothy Gaer and co-created by Michael Fasciana, centering on a woman named Laurie who receives an unusual artifact from her eccentric aunt she acquired from a pawn dealer that causes those around her to disappear when they make wishes on it. Hmm, seems simple enough. Let's what we're in for, and I'm absolutely not ready because the IMDb page says this shit is over two hours long, despite a version on Youtube having it just a bit over 90 minutes. Let us pray.

Wishbone in One Gif:

This acting is might be the death of me, but I'm not sure what's going to be the catalyst that causes me to fall down the stairs and break my neck: the sound quality, the weird editing, or the music...oh, god what the fuck is the music doing? So much noise, noise noise!

Okay, so let's dig into this before I take too long of a break and I don't come back to this. I've already had to pause the movie a few times to catch my breath or just rewind and go back because there's a good amount that I keep missing because, apparently, the star of the film is the score and not Laurie. This is so, so slow. I've seen a lot of long horror movies, but at least with those, it feels like things are happening. Even Blood Lake had filler that did something to some degree, and with that, it was consistently bad. This movie doesn't even know what it wants to do. So, as a disclaimer, there's a good chance I'm probably missing some key details that I didn't hear because it seems that characterization isn't important if the music insists on talking over everyone.

________________________________________

So, to date, this might be one of the worst horror movies (and movies in general) that I've ever seen and it might be one of the slowest things in the entire megaverse. This is over 90 minutes of, somehow, nothing and something happening simultaneously - if that makes any sense.

This takes its sweet ass time moving along and there's so little pay-off. The majority of the characters are either nameless or we aren't introduced to them in a way that matters enough for us to care about them. It's kind of like with Violent Shit and other low-budget slasher films where the majority of the characters serve no purpose but to be disposable. Next to the two main leads, Laurie and Joe, and maybe a few others, everyone is just forgettable and even then I couldn't honestly tell you anyone's name if it was explicitly brought up. IMDb isn't helpful either, and at this point it just makes me care even less. I'm not sure if my patience has been tested too much with this, but it's kind of sad that I'm more invested in seeing what the background characters are doing than Laurie and Joe - even though I can't really hear what the hell they're saying.

Yeah, I really can't move on without talking about the sound and the music. Why is it always the audio with these movies? This has an estimated budget of $100,000, or $154,779.43 today in August 2021. How do you have the ability to somehow not make this look like a potato for the most part, well for the day shots that is, but you don't have it in you to get a good mic and someone who knows how to mix and edit correctly? I would sort of understand if you spent the majority of the money on talent to cut corners, but this is just ridiculous. Did they use the cameras' built-in mics to catch the audio here?

I feel like I need to interrupt the movie constantly to tell them to speak up because if I turn up the volume, I'm just getting bombarded with this really weird soundtrack that doesn't fit. I shit you not, during one of the kill scenes, the music booming over it sounds like it was ripped from Kevin MacLeod's "lounge" library and then the reverse happens where ominous music is playing over a more touching scene - and that's not even a dig at Kevin as an artist. That's just how inappropriate and unfitting this editing is. The weird fucking thing about this specific kill scene is that it sounds like the audio is stacked, so there are two different instrumental tracks going on.

How do you fuck something as basic as tension up like that? The audio choices are so painfully inconsistent and it doesn't know what it wants to do. There are moments where you can hear the dialogue just fine, but then the music comes in out of nowhere to segway us into the next scene and it starts to muffle things out. If it isn't that, then the dialogue is just so soft that you'd think there was a pillow on the mic or we're hearing them from the opposite side of a sound-dampened room.

This is what I meant earlier when I said I apologize in advance if I miss anything crucial because I can't make out half of these conversations. So, I'm having to keep going back if I care enough or just having to pause and take breaks because there's only so much I can handle. This means that there's a good amount I'll blank on because I have to keep going back because I can't remember the majority of these no-named characters. Who the fuck are you people? Why am I supposed to care?

If I'm understanding the non-existent rules of the wishbone, you're connected to whoever dies in some way. So, why is any of this relevant to what's going on? If it's random, then it's another reason for me not to care just because some frat kids made a wish at some point. Again, who the hell are you and why am I supposed to lament over them? Why is there so much useless filler here? Did I mention that this is over 90 minutes long and there are *three* fucking party scenes? Party scenes are to Wishbone as ten-minute-long jetskiing and beer game scenes are to Blood Lake.

Oh, speaking of other shit that's annoying. Let's talk about general editing because the sound isn't the only thing that's a mess here.

I swear that almost every single scene in this ends with a fade-out/fade-in shot. Only one or two scenes come to mind where this doesn't happen, and the first time it did I thought my browser was freezing because it abruptly cut to black and then smash cuts to a party scene. I've never, ever seen a movie that abused this that much before and it's on par with something I would have seen made by a bunch of high school kids. So, when we have a moment where this doesn't happen and it plays out normally, it feels like a breath of fresh air. I'm sure this movie's run time could have been shaved down by at least a minute or two if this wasn't a problem, along with all the useless close-up shots that serve nothing to the plot.

It's such a waste of time. I'm so fucking tired. How was this movie's budget $100k? Did they spend most of it on renting the Scranton Police Department for a few shots or did it go towards their impromptu trip to Party City? I'm so tired and I don't care anymore.

Do you want to know what the real kicker is? With just barely twenty minutes left, the whole lore about the monkey's wishbone paw comes back and that's when Laurie and her friend Karen think something is weird. Isn't this whole realization trope that happens within the first or second act, not now with your Great Value brand version of the Dream Warriors?

Also, it's not specified how much time has gone by since the start, but it has to have been at least a week or two. It's incredibly weird how they paint the main characters and the unnamed background ones as such good friends that they don't think it's weird how almost all of them have disappeared - especially one girl who doesn't seem off-put that her boyfriend (or ex) disappeared after getting into an argument at one of the parties and none of his friends could reach him either at his own house.

The final showdown is an utter pain in the ass to get through because the conflict ends as abruptly as it starts and it's so unsatisfying. We get to see the face of our villain, I guess, and then more or less cut to our leads holding hands down the street set to the same looping lounge music we've been dealing with for over 90 damn minutes. Is everyone else who went with them dead? Did they live? Who cares! That's one thing the movie and I can agree on since we never see them again. We end on a shitty cliffhanger that's supposed to prepare us for a sequel, which thankfully never happened.

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And that was Wishbone. Holy fucking shit, I've never been so thankful for a movie to be over in my life. It's 11:07 PM as of tinkering with some minor revisions and I've been in purgatory with this for over five hours, and yet, it feels like an entire lifetime has gone by.

I've raved about how bad Blood Lake was with its incredibly bad pacing, but this is next level awful and a testament to bad filmmaking if I've ever seen it. I expect a lot of the things I complained about from super amateur filmmakers who are shooting on an actual shoestring budget, not people who had that much money to fuck around with. How did they have that kind of a budget, and the most they can give us is bad audio, Windows Movie Maker levels of basic editing, three wrap parties, and a few crumbs of gore that we could see?

This was physically painful to see and I'm in much worse shape having endured it than I would have been if I sat through something liked Boardinghouse, and that has a two-and-a-half-hour-long version tied to it. This is just a marvel and I mean that in a so-bad-it's-bad way, not like how SOV enthusiasts who love this stuff pine over. If I had to give one thing going for it, one single granule of gold that I enjoyed from this, it's the limited shots we get of the area so I could make a game out of seeing what local spots I recognized. If playing I Spy is the only way for someone to endure your movie, then I don't know what else to say.

Wishbone is a hot mess where shit's happening, but also nothing is happening at the same time. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. In fact, I wish this movie never existed or would die in the ether and never return to our mortal realm ever again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have a smoke and hope I don't get run over by a hearse tomorrow.

RATING: 0.5/10