#and even then like...i understand it i see exactly WHY they did it and the though process there. it makes sense
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Oh boy okay I think my smallest / least known fave is Ambersun (formerly known as Albion, changed because of how many other bands have the same name), and I am begging everyone to listen to this band because seriously it is so good.
Summary: it's a power metal band which I think may be basically a one man show plus various guest vocalists I'm not sure, which does story-based concept albums based on different works of fiction. Possibly qualifies as Rock Operas? Anyway I love "fandom music" and this is one of my all time favorites even though two of the albums are for "I don't even go here" fandoms and the other is for a book I found through the music, because the sound is awesome, the lyrics are awesome, and you can just hear the passion put into them.
I'm now going to post a bunch of lyrics under the cut please please please listen to these songs. Actually just listen to the albums in order, this is one of those bands where the songs are already good as standalones but you really need to listen to the full album to get the full experience.
We are lost, in an endless night, the sun drained from our eyes
Gone, when we sold our lives to the plague that stole the sky
"Life Before Death," from The Poison Skies
Erased and they don't care, but you would still be here if only you'd stayed, been mine only mine
It's so unfair to leave me, the tribe I formed deceived me, but now I'll fight in your name
There's no way to hide from their stare,
I still feel their eyes everywhere
And the hatred that clouds all their minds, it hides the truth of it all
"Out In the Wilds" from The Poison Skies
The one to keep the noble name, to carry all their hopes and dreams, a future severed when one night became forever
"Run" from The Poison Skies. This. Freaking. Song. Has changed me. "Run" is a banger on its own, but reading The Afflicted and reaching the scene this song is about made it so much better and also slightly painful. Which can be said about the entirety of The Poison Skies but this song especially, because the entire song is a character high on adrenaline, deluding himself into believing he can actually pull off the promise he made to his friends that he was going to survive the badass self-sacrificing stunt he was pulling. Also I have no idea how I have not gotten a speeding ticket while playing this in the car yet.
Visions that I can't erase, every time I see her face,
She reminds me of how I never tried
Now I watch us as we fall, can't help anyone at all,
Why did I alone survive?
Survivor's Guilt!
"Survivor's Guilt" from The Poison Skies
This worthless weapon symbolizes who I am
Remaining silent, offer no resistance,
And I become the iron mask
"Disappear" from The Poison Skies
Survive one last dance through the wind and the cold,
We can't change our stories, but they still can be told
"Snow" from The Poison Skies
Sealed in cryogenic cold, I'll dive into the dark, reanimate your soul
Together we will rise up hand in hand this blackened night
"Morning" from The Day the Night Slept
I'll burn in the night, I'll light up the sky, you'll see,
And I'll be the Scorpion's Fire!
"The Scorpion's Fire" from The Day the Night Slept
Lost in the night, but still he survives
I'll tear apart time so his heart never dies
"Asriel Must Be Saved" from Buried Souls. Yes this is exactly what it sounds like from the title. A 15 minute musical fix fic about finding a way of saving Asriel Dreemur from Undertale with some sort of timeline fuckery I don't understand because I haven't played the game. And it's glorious.
Mighty wheels will turn again, flames of faith ignite
Chase the legend of the sun, and bathe our world in light
"Bring Back the Sun," currently a single release.
enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
“You Came.” “You Called.” | Tommy Shelby x Reader
Request: yes by anonymous
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!Solomons Sister!Reader
Summary: Tommy Shelby and (Y/N) Solomons despise each other…….or do they?
Warnings: language, slight sexual situations, weapons, threats
Word Count: 1304
A/N: I’m sorry this isn’t as long as the others have been. I need to get these requests finished and this is what I was able to come out with. I hope you’ll still enjoy! Also I’ve tried something a little different at the end - hopefully you’ll participate and not be too mad at me for it! :)
A/N 2: Oh and this is the story where the Solomons!Sister won the poll — I’m not sure if it’s angsty enough…I tried my best with it. Also I’m sorry if Alfie seems ooc here…it’s been a bit since I’ve written him and I’m rusty.
COMMENTS & REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! — I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THE STORY!
comment/message me if you’d like to be tagged!
"You came," she sounded surprised.
"You called," his response was nonchalant.
"Yeah, but I didn't call you."
The story of Tommy Shelby and (Y/N) Solomons is a long, complicated one.
To give a quick summary: they first met the day that Tommy showed up at Alfie's 'bakery. She was the first to greet him and instantly was able to realize that there was more to his motives than what he was letting on.
She was cautious when dealing with him at first, but his charm soon enough chipped away that hesitant exterior she'd put up.
Neither could help but cross the line one late evening after a successful business dinner.
She thought that that would be the end of Tommy Shelby. But now he'd shown up at her door...when she was expecting her brother.
"Where's my brother?" (Y/N) asked, looking to either side of the doorway, hoping that Alfie would be close by.
He wasn't.
"He's busy," Tommy answered.
"So he sent you?" she asked, her brows furrowed.
"Not exactly," he shook his head.
"I'm not understanding what you're saying. Ollie told me that he'd take a note down for Alfie and that he'd inform him as soon as he became available." (Y/N) was confused now.
"I saw the note," he began, "took it upon myself to see what was needed to be discussed."
(Y/N)'s jaw just about dropped. "Tommy, why did you...would you, you shouldn't, you..."
"My name was on the note, love," he cut off her attempt to string words together.
"Just because it was on the note does not mean you were to be involved!" she couldn't stop her voice from raising, her eyes widening as she spoke. Now she was wondering how Ollie had phrased his note to Alfie. A few beats passed before a sigh escaped her lips. She ran a frustrated hand across her face before asking, "what...what did the note say?" Her thoughts had gotten the best of her.
"It said that you needed to speak about Shelby...had some information you wanted to be made known," he answered her, his eyes boring into hers. (Y/N) opened her mouth to say something but he didn't let her, taking a step inside, making her back up in the process. "What is it you wanted to tell him, hmm?"
His close proximity made her heartrate increase. She was quickly losing her ability to think. "Tommy, I..."
"What really was your goal last night, (Y/N)?" he asked her, his brows raising.
The willpower to keep her hands by her sides and not reach out to take hold of him was leaving (Y/N) by the second.
"I thought your intentions aligned with mine..." he trailed off, raising his hand so that he could run it down her jawline in a slow, teasing manner, "at least it seemed that way when you brought me back here."
Instead of dropping his hand when he reached her chin, he grasped it; taking it between his thumb and index finger so that he could raise her fleeing eyes to match his. This action made the breath get caught in (Y/N)'s throat, and every valid argument left her mind the second her eyes locked onto his icy blue ones. All hope was lost now.
"What are your intentions with me, (Y/N)?" he asked her.
"You know them, Tommy, I.." she couldn't quite string a thought together.
"Tell me."
"I.." she paused again, interally freaking out. Think of something, anything, (Y/N), come on! "I wanted to tell him about you...about us," she decided on telling him a lie, hoping that he would take it as the truth.
"Yeah?"
She couldn't decipher what he was truly thinking from his one word response. His widened eyes didn't help either, other than making her fall deeper into his trap with each second that passed. Now she was wracking her brain to think of ways to sell this.
The last thing she wanted to tell him was that she was going to sell him out...to tell Alfie what she felt his true intentions were.
"Yeah," she breathed, nodding her head as much as she could with his fingers still holding her chin. Sell it, (Y/N)!, her mind screamed before she raised her hands up to grip his lapels. All coherent thoughts flew out the window as she leaned in and kissed him.
This wasn't a loving kiss. It wasn't a slow one, unlike the ones they shared last night. She kissed him hard, hoping that the passion she put into it would be enough to get his mind off of the damn note and seal her lie for good.
His hold tightened on her chin, but he didn't break the kiss. In fact, his other hand moved from his side to her hip, where he began bunching up her skirt in order to make contact with her bare skin.
Success.
(Y/N) also became absorbed by the passion that they both were showing. It was hard not to given the fact that he was Tommy Shelby. The night they shared was one of the best she'd ever had. Conniving business man or not, she would remember it for the rest of her life.
"What in the bloody fucking hell is going on here?!"
What (Y/N) did not remember before getting sucked into this situation was to shut the door to her home.
Her eyes shot open and she became frantic, trying to break the kiss and move away from Tommy as quick as she could. "Alfie!" she shrieked, surprise clear on her face.
"Why're you fucking kissing my sister, mate?!" Alfie asked Tommy, speaking with a seething anger.
While (Y/N) was just about shaking from the shock of her brother showing up, Tommy didn't seem to be phased.
"Alfie he...he was just..."
"No," Alfie cut (Y/N) off, shaking his head and stopping her attempt to cover for the man now standing beside her, "I asked him not you. He knows family is off-fucking-limits, so I want him to answer me why."
Tommy said nothing. (Y/N) shrunk into herself more and more with each passing second. She'd never seen Alfie this angry.
"I said fucking answer me!" Alfie bellowed, drawing the revolver he had tucked into his waistband. He wasted no time in cocking it and holding it in Tommy's face.
Tommy still didn't move; didn't even flinch.
"You're going to fucking answer me," Alfie demanded, his voice low and menacing, "yeah, you're going to fucking answer me or it'll be your fucking brains blown out all over (Y/N)'s fucking foyer."
"Alfie, don't," (Y/N) begged her brother, reaching a shaky hand out in hopes that he would see it and lower his weapon.
"She called for you," Tommy spoke, his voice level and stoic.
"She fucking what?" Alfie asked, his brows furrowing slightly, confused by why Tommy was saying this.
“She called your office. You weren’t around. But my name was on the note,” Tommy shared more details.
“And what does that have fucking anything to do with you fucking kissing my sister?!” Alfie’s anger had returned.
“It has everything to do with it,” Tommy was still level-headed. “You see, she was going to tell you about this, about us,” he then dropped the bomb, motioning between himself and (Y/N) to emphasize the point he was making.
“I can explain,” (Y/N) was quick to blurt out, her eyes trained on the gun in Alfie’s hand, which he’d - thankfully - lowered from being aimed at Tommy’s head.
She couldn’t read the look in her brother’s eyes. The seconds felt like hours as they passed. She stood frozen as Alfie rose the revolver again and…….
Ok I’m evil, I know but……..
Don’t fret, if the poll’s closed by the time you’re reading this, you’re still more than welcome (and I’d encourage you, actually) to share what you think would happen next!!
p.s….this story won’t be getting continued. I’m just curious as to what y’all think.
MASTERLIST
Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21
@mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings
@just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry
@captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @mischievouslittlecreature @stevie75
@lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @cillmequick
@dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @garrison-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety
@justrainandcoffee @dragons-are-my-favorite @mrs-bond @cljordan-imperium @brummiereader
@red-riding-wood @everythingelseisextra @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @shaddixlife
@ryecosse @padfootdaredmetoo @novashelby
#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby x y/n#tommy shelby x you#tommy shelby imagine#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfiction#peaky blinders#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders x y/n#peaky blinders x you#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic
177 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you guys ever think about dementia Charles seeing Pietro and getting sad or becoming really happy because his poor mind connects the dots that he's Erik? It dosn't compute that this wouldn't be Erik because hes too young to be Erik rather assuming that he is young Erik and not exactly having the logic to understand that they are so differently aged.
"Oh! My old friend, you've gotten a haircut. Quite bold of you. It makes you look much younger."
".. yeah, yeah, old man.." he mutters, trying to avoid him best he can, but sometimes, when the others are busy, he can't stand to leave him alone. Coming to sit with him just to litsen to him gab about random nonsense, talking so fondly about his X-men and memories dear to him.
"Do you remember?"
"Do I remember what?"
"When Jean got her first bad grade and she cried to you about how cruel I was to her." He chuckles softly. "And all she got was a B-"
Pietro stares at him like he's crazy. Jean cried to his father? But why? He had his own children to take care of. So why would he treat her like that? It makes him a bit angry. "No.. I don't. What else?"
"Hm?"
"What else happened? With jean and my da- erm. Me."
"I believe it's Jean and I." He corrects his grammer, making the younger man roll his eyes in annoyance. Once a professor always a professor I guess.
"Sure. Jean and I.."
"You acussed me of being too hard on her, but when I explained it, you laughed... I haven't seen you laugh like that in so long.." It's sort of now that Charles remembers what's going on. Who he's talking to.
"..Im sorry. Who are you again?"
"Well you like to call me speedster."
"Pft. No I do not. Mr. Maximoff.. you've grown so big since the last time ive seen you."
'You just saw me yesterday' he thinks but makes that awkward smile and nods. "Yup.."
"Youll have to forgive me. Im not always.... here."
"I know.. are you alright?"
He shrugs in his chair. "About as alright as anyone could be in my situation." Ah yes. The paralyzed old bald man who was losing his mind still had jokes. Funny. But sad. He remembered him being so similar and yet.. so different.
It's not long before Jean comes to give him his medicine again, convincing him that it was for the kid's saftey. "You don't want to hurt them. Do you, Charles?"
"No... but I'm not that gone yet. I can decide when it's best to take my medication."
She smiles so sweetly at him. "Professor, you made this time schedule yourself. Im just doing what you told me. You always knew best for us."
"Oh.. well, alright then."
Before Jean can walk away, He stares at her.
"....Why did my father like you?"
"Excuse me?"
"Charles... he said.." He trails off, not sure how to say it without talking too quickly.
"He said you cried to my father. And.. he defended you."
Jean tilts her head. "I wouldn't say defended. I was just a child having a fit." She admits then shifts, looking at the walls as if remembering.
".. He was here a lot.. and then he just.. stopped coming. Im sorry. I don't know why. Like I said I was just-"
"Didyoureadhismind?"
"Uhm.. just a couple times."
"Jean used to con you into getting her ice cream." Charles smiles, closing his eyes, reminiscing.
"He.. got you ice cream?"
Jean's not dumb. She understands his frustrations, glancing at the old man and then to Pietro again. "Like I said.. I was just a kid.. I was just excited to be able to use my powers. I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't even know he had other children."
"...He never got us ice cream.. he didn't even bother sign my birth certificate.."
"Im sorry, Peter... Professor? Tonights dinner is potatoes gravy turkey with apple sauce. Remys making it so it might be a little spicy."
"Oh, that's alright. He means well. Erm.. thats the blue one right?"
Jean snorts. "No Professor. He's the card one."
"Oooh yes. Reeemmyy... right." He says his name slowly as if trying to connect 'the card one' to 'Remy' in his brain.
"...Bye Peter." She says, now awkwardly leaving.
"Remys that rat from the cooking movie" Pietro whispers and Charles' eyebrows raise. "Ahhh! Remy! That's right."
He might be an x-men. But he could still pull a little evil here and there.
#pietro maximoff#quicksilver#charles xavier#professor x#jean gray#erik lehnsherr#magneto#cherik#charles has dementia#x men#x men days of future past#x men first class#dadneto#remy lebeau#gambit#remy ratatouille#what if#peter maximoff
170 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why Magneto’s Storyline in X-Men: Apocalypse is The Worst (it’s not just Cherik)
Ok I just need to vent because this has been chewing away at my brain for far too long.
Cherik is far from the only reason why Erik’s family plotline in X-Men: Apocalypse is some of the stupidest, sloppiest, and most character-ruining pieces of writing I’ve ever seen. Haters may say “oh you’re just upset because he married someone who wasn’t Charles.” But, like, aside from the fact that the original timeline already established that Erik’s top priority was always the fight for mutantkind and he had no interest in settling down - whether that had anything to do with his feelings for Charles or not - the problems with the Apocalypse writing go WAY beyond just him & Charles:
Erik would never abandon his cause at this point. By the end of DOFP, Erik has just been imprisoned for a full 10 years thanks to the JFK situation. Meaning he has spent a full decade being forcibly inactive in the fight for mutants. And he just learned that all of his fears about humans and mutants came to pass in the future to the level where a time-traveler had to be sent to change the past. And he was so set on averting that future that he tried to kill his friend and the sister of the man he loved, and then made a whole speech on international TV begging for the mutants of the world to fight alongside him. This is the POLAR OPPOSITE of a man who would feel like settling down and walking away from the fight within the next decade. The Sentinels being cancelled did NOT make mutant life easy overnight; Stryker was still up to no good, and there is no way that there weren’t others like him doing the same. Yes, Raven’s actions made a very positive difference, but I think we have enough brain cells to agree that this did not mean things for mutants immediately became sunshine and rainbows to the level where Erik - the most (understandably) paranoid character in the X-Men series - would even consider taking a break, let alone giving up the fight permanently. Knowing what he did about the possibilities of the future would’ve made the Erik we know double down on his commitment to his cause and follow up on his actions in Washington.
Erik wouldn’t risk starting a young family at this moment in his life. Erik was a Holocaust prisoner, his people were massacred, his mom was shot when he couldn’t move the coin, and then Charles was shot when Erik accidentally deflected a bullet into him, and then every member of his Brotherhood save Raven were captured and killed. Not only is this more than enough grief for one character to have, but the man wouldn’t dare risk having a new family of his own when everyone he’s ever loved has gotten hurt (largely because of him), and when he’s an international fugitive. That is no time to risk being selfish, and he would know. He would’ve been the first to realize that a potential spouse and child would also end up killed, and so he’d avoid that altogether. In fact, he wouldn’t even consider it, because, as mentioned, he wouldn’t leave his cause behind. You know, if he was actually in character.
Magda is a human. At this point, Erik hates humans. Again, he has just been imprisoned by humans for 10 years for trying to save a mutant, and he just learned that in the future, humans would’ve wiped out mutants, exactly as he feared. Everything that happened in DOFP would only further inflame his already-passionate hatred of humans. He is not in the mental state to even begin to consider Charles’ philosophy and give a human a chance at a relationship, let alone marry a human.
The family lives in Poland. The country where Auschwitz is. The country where Erik and his family and people was imprisoned, tortured, and executed. The country where Erik had to watch Shaw kill his mother. Basically the LAST country in the freaking WORLD that Erik would want to ever see again, let alone spend the rest of his life in. Erik is fluent in multiple languages - he is shown to easily converse in French and Spanish in First Class - and has been all over the world thanks to his Nazi hunting, so if he really needed to flee the U.S., there were a hundred other countries he could’ve gone to and blended into (Canada, France, Mexico, anywhere in South America, heck, he even could’ve discovered Genosha during this time). But in the original timeline, he didn’t leave the U.S. at all despite being a national fugitive after escaping his plastic prison, and he never did get caught again, so….
Erik’s first meeting with Magda is completely OOC for him. Erik mentions that he told Magda who he was the first night they met and he trusted her then. EXCUSE ME??? Erik Lehnsherr does not trust strangers. Erik Lehnsherr does not tell the complete truth about himself and his past to just anyone; look at how deeply Charles had to probe before Erik opened up to him. This stupid line was obviously shoehorned in just to make their relationship seem like perfect soulmates and thus ensure it is doubly tragic when she gets thrown in the fridge 5 minutes later (more on that in a sec). Obviously the intention is for the audience to go “aww, he instantly trusted her, she instantly accepted him, this is true love…” Give me a break. You’re really telling me that Magda met this stranger one night, found out he was none other than the international fugitive who apparently killed the U.S. president and just tried to kill another president on live TV, and went “oh, no problem, honey, let’s make a baby and live the cottagecore dream!” That’s some BS if I’ve ever heard it, and I’m convinced the writers subconsciously knew it; there’s a reason that is revealed in a throwaway line rather than shown onscreen, because then nobody would’ve bought it.
Fridging. Magda and Nina exist in the movie for one reason and one reason only: To get brutally killed and give Erik even more grief and trauma so that he’ll seek revenge on the entire world, aka do what the plot demands of him, aka have the same journey as he did in First Class (more on that in a sec). That’s all. Neither of them are any more than one-dimensional plot devices. They are not characters at all. Magda isn’t even named in the actual movie (he doesn’t even say her name when she dies) - it’s so obvious they didn’t even know what her name would be when they made the movie. This is textbook fridging, and one of the worst examples of it of all time. It’s all the worse considering that Erik never met Magda in the original pre-DOFP timeline, meaning Magda originally most likely lived a long happy life and died old in bed. But now, she gets fridged just because the writers didn’t know what more to do with Erik. It’s misogyny of the highest level.
A parenthood story for Erik was already set up. DOFP already hinted at Erik being a father, with Peter’s comment about his mom. So if the writers wanted to show Erik as a father, and to include Magda, they already had a solution that would seamlessly flow from the previous film - make Erik and Peter’s relationship one of the centerpieces of the story, and let Magda be Peter’s mom! (You know, like she is in the comics!)
It doesn’t contribute anything new to Erik’s character development. From a screenwriting POV, this is unforgivable. May I remind you that Erik’s entire storyline in First Class revolved around grief and trauma for the loss of his family and people, especially his mom, and seeking revenge for it. Giving him a wife and daughter just so they can get killed too adds absolutely NOTHING to his character development. It’s merely retreading everything that already happened in his arc: he loses his family and goes on a roaring rampage of revenge. Completely superfluous, right down to Charles insisting that there’s good in him beyond the pain. The redundancy becomes apparent even in the dialogue, where Charles literally says “I told you since I first met you there’s good in you too.” The script itself can’t help but point out that all of this has happened before and literally nothing new has been added to Erik’s character arc.
See? It’s not just because of Cherik. Erik’s story in X-Men: Apocalypse is an atrocity in basic screenwriting and character development, on every level. And I will never accept it.
(Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way…)
#xmcu#x men#x men apocalypse#anti xmen apocalypse#magneto#erik lehnsherr#magda gurzsky#nina gurzsky#mutants#fox xmen#magneto xmen#x men movies#x men films#x men prequels#x men days of future past#peter maximoff#quicksilver#cherik#charles xavier#professor x#xmen meta#xmen magneto#xmen apocalypse
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
I do indeed have much I can say on all of this! I don’t have time for a full breakdown, but let’s hit some key points.
🌪The Milton evacuation and changing the direction highways.
This is called “contraflow” and it is indeed a thing that is frequently used in evacuations. However, from what I understand, Florida might have laws against this? At least that’s what I’ve heard, or maybe just laws that do indeed make it very difficult. I haven’t had a chance to look into it too closely. And it is a tricky thing to do safely just off the cuff without a known procedure in place, which you wouldn’t have if it’s against the law in your area. You’ve gotta shut down all the exits/entrances accordingly so you don’t have issues with head-on traffic, you’ve gotta make sure you have effective alternate routes for emergency traffic, you’ve gotta have a space to reintegrate traffic into the proper lanes once the contraflow segment has ended, etc. etc.
You’re right that this isn’t a police problem, it’s a LAW problem. Maybe also a police problem in the sense of what trainings are available to them, what procedures they have in these situations, etc., but not an ACAB style police problem. Plenty of places DO use it, like I said. (Also, sometimes you’ll get spontaneous contraflow, where people just start doing on their own, but that’s a whole different can of worms.)
🚗 Over dependence on cars.
America is indeed super car dependent, but that’s not exactly the issue here, at least not in the way you’d think. First off, evacuations are just HARD. That’s a lot of people to move. Even if you took every large transport vehicle in a given area (so all the buses of any sort, any trains, any planes), you’re not going to get the entire population moved out in a timely manner, even if every seat is taken. It just isn’t feasible for so many reasons. People DO need to be able to evacuate via car. It’s also very dependent on the disaster in question. An evacuation for a hurricane is very different than most other evacuations due to the amount of time you, usually, have.
Now, one thing that happens and causes problems during evacuations is that people take ALL their cars instead of just one. Mom takes one car with the kids and as much stuff as possible stuffed in the back, and Dad takes his truck with the dogs and the bed piled high. A lot of evacuation planning doesn’t account for this. They see a four person family and think, “ah yes, the family sedan has six seats, they’ll just take that and go, we don’t need to plan for them to put both their cars on the road and at all the gas stations along the way.” But then they do take both cars, and so does every other family on the road, and suddenly you’ve got a shit ton more cars doing something that you expected a lot less cars to be doing. I have a lot more thoughts on this I can share later, if people are interested, but for now we shall move on.
(There’s also definitely an element of poor city planning and infrastructure in some places, but that’s very much a case by case thing.)
👩🏻🚒 We need a better emergency management system.
Yes! Though, actually, we already have a pretty good one as compared to other countries. Not great, by any means, but something like FEMA is pretty rare. Most countries just kind of ad hoc disaster response on a case by case basis, which is also what we did until we created FEMA in the 70s.
I have A LOT of thoughts about how we could improve the system as it currently stands, which is a big part of why I want to do a PhD in emergency management.
🔥 When to evacuate.
You mentioned this in relation to the Camp Fire, and that one is…yeah, that one was so bad. There’s a lot that goes into making evacuation decisions, and unfortunately studies have shown that a lot of emergency officials still believe the myth that people will panic if you give them too much information about a disaster. This leads to delays in evacuations, among other things. Also, evacuations are expensive, and that makes officials hold back. Plus, there’s the “cried wolf” effect where if it turns out the evacuation WASN’T needed, the next time it IS needed, people will be less likely to go, which again makes officials hold back.
With the Camp Fire, though, I don’t know if any of that specifically was what was at play. That thing just moved FAST. Also, this was a small mountain town. There were not a lot of ways out, just thin mountain roads. I guarantee those officials who made the evacuation call hesitated because they knew people WOULD get stuck on the few potential roads to safety. They weren’t making a choice about evacuation, they were making a choice on where they wanted people to be when the fire DID hit. Because it was going to hit. So do they concentrate people all in one spot, on a road that itself won’t burn but will be completely surrounded, or do they keep people spaced out all over town hoping that pockets of it might be safe? And they had to make that decision at the drop of a hat, knowing people were likely to die either way.
Fires are, in my opinion, the most terrifying thing to have to manage an evacuation for. They are both incredibly quick, but also potentially long lasting. They can shift direction at a moment’s notice. They can do things you never knew they could do. They can consume absolutely massive areas. They can die down and pop back up when you least expect it. And to be the person making the decision on how to handle that must be a very, very heavy weight.
👋🏻 People in positions of power just waving their hands.
Some do, some don’t. There are so, so many amazing people out there who care about this stuff and are doing their best to address these issues. But they need support. Taking over the department of transportation isn’t the answer, your local emergency management department is. Check out what their emergency plans look like, they should be on your county and state websites. Read through them, find the holes, go to meetings, contact your representatives. Be a nuisance to Congress RIGHT NOW.
🎓 Disaster education
Lastly, to @kyraneko’s point about needing better disaster education, yes! Yes we do! I think one of FEMA’s weakest points is its lack of addressing and helping individuals directly prior to a disaster, rather than in large groups. I’m working on it. Got a big project in the works that will, hopefully, start addressing this issue. And that’s not including the PhD.
Sooooooo….yeah! :D That ended up a lot longer than I thought, lol. Hope some of it was interesting to those of you who have made it to the end.
So I have a friend from high school who is a cop. (Yes, I KNOW.) I shared a photo on Facebook of a packed highway of people attempting to evacuate from Hurricane Milton, all while the lanes going in the opposite direction were open and empty. And my Facebook post was basically me screaming, “Open the other side of the highway and reverse it so that people can GET OUT.”
His response was essentially, “Yeah, that is *really* difficult for us to do.” Not in a condescending way, because he genuinely isn’t a huge asshole. (Yes, I KNOW.)
And then I may have vented in my response, in which I tried not to imply that the police were a problem. Because to be honest, I don’t see this as a police problem. I see this as how we have fucked ourselves as a nation by making ourselves so dependent on cars.
There is that poll on this site – or multiple polls, at this point – asking how long people can tolerate being in their cars. And the thing is, Americans (and Canadians as well, I am imagining) have almost no other options. We have to be used to spending a good 12 hours in a car without breaking a sweat. Everything in this country is built around being in a car. There’s a reason when you ask us how far away a place is from somewhere else, we normally give that distance in hours and not miles.
Air travel sucks. It sucks for a multitude of reasons – cost, the hassle of dealing with security, the time suck, etc. – and in an emergency, only a select few are going to be able to use it to get away from a hurricane. And that’s one of the few disasters where air travel is an optional escape.
Train travel sucks. Amtrak is not something you’re gonna be complaining about if you’re trying to get away from whatever disaster you need to evacuate from. But next to so many other countries, Amtrak looks like we’ve been receiving other countries’s leftover railway systems from the 70s. It also doesn’t go everywhere. I live in northeastern Pennsylvania near Scranton, which prides itself on its history in the train industry. We have a museum and everything. We have multiple things named after that museum, including the Steamtown marathon which is happening tomorrow.
Can you get on a passenger train in Scranton? Nope.
(The main argument against this always seems to be that people will come here from New York City and commit crimes, which is hilarious considering if somebody wanted to come here from New York City and commit crimes it’s only a 2.5-hour drive.)
Anyway, disasters.
If the only option you’re gonna give most people to get out of areas of Florida that are being targeted by hurricanes or areas of California that suffer from wildfires or places in the Midwest that face flooding are cars, then we need a better fucking emergency management system regarding transportation in this country. You can’t just sit there and mock people for not evacuating because they can’t or won’t when getting away from Milton meant sitting on highway for hours with absolutely no gas stations whatsoever nearby having any gas at all. (It just makes me think of those photos of people stranded on the highway in their cars in blizzards where people are like, “Now imagine imagine how bad it would be if all of those cars were electric!“ Well, all of those cars in that photo in that blizzard run on gas and they’re fucking stranded, sooooooo.)
Look, we can change the transportation system in this country. we did it before and we can do it again. We used to have more train options, fewer highways. My small hometown had a fucking trolley in the 40s. Now, if you don’t have a car here, you’re stuck. You can’t even get Uber here. if a wildfire started here and surrounded the town, it would be a clusterfuck.
Regardless of how you feel about the police, if police and fire departments in this country cannot organize an evacuation on a highway in a way that will reduce the backup so that tens of thousands of people aren’t sitting in their cars when a hurricane hits, that’s a problem – not just for those people, but for the police, and the fire department, and emergency management in general.
The people in charge of emergency management are just people, just human. I’m researching the Camp Fire in 2018 right now, and you had a bunch of people calling 911 saying, “I can see a huge fire off to the east. Are we safe? Should we evacuate?” The 911 operators could only work off the information they had. They could have told people to evacuate earlier, but Cal Fire didn’t anticipate the strength of the fire. Which is understandable. Nobody could anticipate the strength of that fire. But the 911 operators were sitting in an office with no windows, and they had no idea what was going on the east. They couldn’t look out and see exactly what was happening. If they could have, they probably would have told people to leave as soon as possible much sooner than they were told to. Instead, they waited for official confirmation, and when they did start telling people to evacuate, traffic managed to back up in a small town of 25,000 people until many of them were trapped in an unimaginable hellscape.
When people need to evacuate from a disaster, and they stay instead, far too many people - including those in positions of power – just kind of wave their hands and say, “Well, we tried.” No, we didn’t. This country made not trying its watchword, and now we’re at a point where unless you own a car, which is a luxury a lot of people cannot afford in this economy, escaping from disaster is impossible. So you can get in your car or somebody else’s car and go sit on a highway and hope your gas doesn’t run out, since none of the gas stations for 100 miles have any gas to give you, or you can stay in your house and hope you don’t die.
Sometimes, I really wish somebody would make me the head of the department of transportation. I would demand an absurd amount of money to build a better train system, to provide better transportation options for smaller towns, to provide extensive training for rescue personnel in managing evacuations like the clusterfuck in Florida this week. I would become an absolute fucking nuisance to Congress. I would be asking for money left and right to make it so that our only options as Americans weren’t to get into cars we can barely afford these days and attempt to organize our own evacuations from the growing number of natural disasters in this country.
Y’all keep posting these polls about how long you can tolerate being in a car at the same time that tens of thousands of Floridians were sitting on highways trying to get away from Tampa so they wouldn’t die in a hurricane.
We can tolerate being in a car all goddamn day. It’s because we don’t have a fucking choice, even when it’s life or death.
762 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hung!R and Lucy are hiking along and R touches some weird plant or bitten by a weird animal, and it makes R painfully erect and bigger than normal. Lucy has to help relieve R by making him cum several times, maybe with some special cure (that's basically lotion she has to rub on his dick)
Lucy maclean x male reader
“Are you sure we aren't lost?” You ask Lucy who's confidently walking ahead of you through the forest.
“Y/N I told you I know exactly where I'm going,” she says over her shoulder.
“Are you sure? I'm pretty sure we passed this tree an hour ago,” you reply, seeing a tree with a mark carved into it that you recognized from before.
“Come on mister downer, this way,” she says pushing apart a bush taking you to a new path.
“Ow! What the hell was that!” You yell when you step through the bush, gripping your arm when you feel something cut your skin.
Lucy immediately stops and inspects your arm, a little blood dripping from it, “looks like that spiky plant cut you, you'll be okay.”
She pulls her first aid kit out of her backpack and quickly cleans you up so you can continue on your journey.
It's been maybe half an hour since you were cut and your body was starting to tingle in a way you didn't understand.
“Can we stop for a minute? I'm not feeling so good,” you say and when Lucy turns around she sees something unexpected.
“Oh my gosh,” she blurts out, staring at the lower half of your body.
“What? What's wrong?” You say panicking and looking down not knowing what to expect but then you see it too, an erection creating a huge bulge in your pants.
You cover yourself with your hands not sure why this is happening or why you didn't feel yourself getting hard.
“Are you okay Y/N?” Lucy asks.
“I-I didn't mean too I swear,” you tell her, “I think it was that stupid plant!”
“How did that plant give you an erection?” She giggles.
“I don't know it must have been mutated or something but it hurts,” you say as your erection grows more painful.
“Do you want me to take care of it for you?”
“How? I don't think there's anything in your first aid kit for this.”
“Like this,” she grins, sinking down to her knees in front of you.
Your eyes go wide as she undoes your pants, taking your rock hard cock out, sure you've had sex with her a few times but you were right out in the open now, vulnerable to whoever or whatever passed by.
“Golly it's even bigger than before,” she says wrapping her hand around it and stroking you.
You instantly feel some relief from her touch and let out a low groan.
“Is this helping?” She smiles.
“God yes,” you grunt.
Lucy moves her hand slowly up and down your cock, feeling it throb in her palm.
You can't help the moan that comes out when she takes you in her mouth, this she had never done before.
“Oh fuck Lucy,” you say tangling your hand in her hair as she sloppily bobs her head along your cock.
Eventually she finds a nice steady movement with her hand gripping the base of your cock.
You moan when you cum in her mouth, Lucy doing her best to swallow but has to spit some of it out when she frees you from her lips.
“That was fun,” she chuckles, wiping away some cum dribbling down her chin with the sleeve of her jumpsuit, “do you feel better?”
You look down to see your cock is still incredibly hard and huff in frustration, “why didn't that work?”
“Maybe you need to ejaculate again? Would you like to have sex?” She says unzipping her jump suit to reveal her bra.
You eagerly nod and look around at your surroundings, “over here,” you say taking her hand and guiding her to a nearby tree that you can push her up against and kiss her deeply.
She shrugs her jumpsuit off her shoulders, pushing it down her waist and around her ankles while you kiss and nip at her neck.
It's an awkward angle but when your pants hit the ground you ease your cock inside her, Lucy moaning as you start thrusting your hips with the tree bark scratching at her back.
You soon cum a second time but you're still fully erect so you just keep thrusting, Lucy grasping at your shoulders as she whimpers and sighs.
You palm at her chest over her bra, Lucy reaching a hand down to rub at her clit.
Hitting the right spot inside her she cums around your cock, moaning loudly.
Hearing her sweet moans takes you over the edge for the third time as you ride out your highs together.
This time you finally feel your cock begin to soften, pulling out of her to find you're now flaccid.
“Oh thank God, I don't think I could take anymore,” you say totally out of breath.
“Me too, I'm starving,” Lucy chuckles, pulling her jumpsuit back on.
You stuff your cock back in your pants, “the sun is going to set soon, we should find somewhere to set up camp for the night and I'll make dinner.”
“Sounds good, just don't go touching any plants okay,” she teases.
59 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi can i req ff that “really nice guy to everyone but you” thank youu
them being really nice guy to everyone but you
content: sort of enemies to lovers implied, not angsty at all, implied repressed crush, etc.
wc: 651
a/n: i've never heard this concept before so im assuming its some sort of repressed crush type of thing(?) sorry if i got it wrong</3
masterlist
seungcheol -
he's petty and stubborn, so this game could last forever to him. he'd want to be very obvious in his niceness towards other people in front of you whilst just completely disrespecting your existence. it'd give him satisfaction when he'd see you fume at him. maybe it was something he needed to externalize to understand why it pleased him so much.
jeonghan -
god you're the biggest target to his pranks and teasing. wont leave you alone ever. he just finds so much entertainment out of making you miserable. unlike with other people where he'll prank them half the time and be a caring angel the other half, you just get a demon out of him 24/7.
joshua -
he's a cocky bastard in your presence. he's the perfect gentleman to everyone else but you never really get to see that side of him. what's worse is that he'll only ever smile at you when he know's he's getting under your skin, and it's always a smile of satisfaction.
jun -
he would not have even meant to be mean to you right off the bat but somehow things ended up like this. so now he's just kind of a dick around you whilst being his easygoing self with everyone else. you're mean in return so it kind of works out.
soonyoung -
he'd slip up sometimes, lost in staring at you in the midst of what was supposed to be some weirdly mean interaction between you. you'd probably know that he liked you beneath all the rudeness, but it'd be fun to play around with him.
wonwoo -
he'd drive you insane with how soft and sweet he is with everyone other than you. you'd feel dejected at first, but at some point you'd treat him exactly the same. this would either lead to sone amazing slowburn between you or someone being killed off the friend group. no in between.
jihoon -
it'd be easy for him to be perceived as mean by you. he didn't even have to try, he was just a little dismissive by nature anyways. he'd never actually be too outwardly mean, but he'd be able to get away with it the most.
seokmin -
it'd be obvious to everyone that he didn't mean it. he could never be mean a day of his life. he'd try very hard to make it seem like he didn't like you, but he'd snap out of it sooner or later, making amends and treating you as nicely as he did everyone else.
mingyu -
he'd be cocky as hell around you, giving you snide remarks left and right. he just loved when you'd fight back, insulting him twice as hard and even attempting to go after his gigantic physique.
minghao -
it'd bug you how obvious he'd make it. he'd give you a dirty look one second and the next he'd be hugging someone as he greeted them. it'd piss you off, but the mere reaction from you would just get him to amp it up even more.
seungkwan -
when you realized this special mean treatment was reserved for you only, a war would start between you. it'd become a battle to see who could be meanest to the other. it'd be painfully obvious to everyone else that you liked each other behind all that meanness.
vernon -
he's just so annoyingly indifferent around you, it'd drive you crazy. he's not even mean, he just ignores you .... except when you're not looking. all his friends would know the truth, but he'd keep the act up in front of you.
chan -
would be weirdly standoffish and a show off in front of you just to piss you off. knows all your pet peeves and ticks and takes advantage of that. classic example of trying to get your attention by being rude and basking in it even if its only ever to tell him he's annoying and a loser.
#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#seventeen oneshot#svt reactions#seventeen reactions
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
(agent grayson 2014-2016 issue #1)
i felt like this panel was a good way to show how reading this made me feel.
before i get to what i feel about how it treated midnighter, i just want to say.. i am so sorry to dick grayson and helena bertinelli for being in this comic series. i'm sorry for the spyral plot. i didn't do it but somebody gotta apologize to those two.
as for midnighter? a very long array of me going like 'he would not fucking say that' which i'll explain below. also i didn't miss the chin spike at all and where is my favorite freak's smile when he fights? they made him grumpy.
it feels like some of the dialogue gets close to understanding how he is, but just tacks on pieces he wouldn't actually say. i'll provide an example that ties into another point of why he wouldn't say a particular word for what he said;
original text bubble: "not bad, boy. i can read the electrical activity inside that pretty head. no superpowers. no meatware. but you found me anyway."
how i would've written what midnighter said: "i can read the electrical activity inside your head. no superpowers, no meatware, but you found me anyway. not bad, kid."
see to me, that sounds more like how midnighter talks. he typically prefaces things with statements.
example from the authority (1999-2002) issue #2 with one of his most famous text bubbles: "i know what moves you're preparing to make. i've fought our fight already, in my head, in a million different ways. i can hit you without you even seeing me."
as for calling his head pretty? no. he wouldn't do that. i'll be repeating this as i read this series but he would not flirt or sexualize dick grayson. he never has done that to others before the new 52 from everything i've read up to (i am finishing the worldstorm arc) because it is strictly against his character. he isn't the sort to do that to another man. you want an example of why i say that?
here's a line paraphrased (because fuck ennis and his homophobia) from midnighter (2006-2008) issue #5 that helps support it: "what it means is that i'm only interested in men. one man in particular."
he's talking about apollo. his husband, his sun god, his other half. he's the only man for him and he's an utter sap about it! everytime he sees him he gives him a compliment. he's so in love it makes me so happy to the point i get nauseous in a good way.
so to all the dick grayson fans who've read agent grayson and hate it for dick's sexualization, i just wanted to let y'all know that midnighter wouldn't be doing that to him. in fact, he'd let him know he doesn't deserve it or have to take it for the sake of the job. body talk by kermit_coded on ao3 (ily friend) approaches it exactly how i would've.
so all in all, he wouldn't flirt with dick or sexualize him in any way, and he'd say less of the goofy lines he said in this. not that he can't be goofy, but it's a more.. violent goofy i guess.
so why would midnighter be there following my idea not tying to the garden or anything? well, midnighter hunting down random shit like people put under surgery to become meta bio-weapons still feels up his alley. considering him and apollo did something similar back in their first ever comic appearance in stormwatch vol 2.
where's apollo then? well, he was following up on a lead about other possible meta bio-weapons on his own and then he and m were gonna go out to dinner with jenny q. to celebrate. sadly, the fates (dick grayson) had him get hit with a laser that shot him away team rocket style. now he's gonna miss dinner with his family.
#dc#dc comics#wildstorm#the authority#midnighter#dick grayson#nightwing#agent grayson#buds.txt#hopefully tagging this with agent grayson gets the reach i want.#i love dick grayson's character and i just want people to know midnighter ain't like that. he got treated like shit in this series too.#btw angie heard how it went and got footage of mid flying and after laughing so hard she cried she saved the footage.#of course she left a message asking if he's alright. and now has that footage on the carrier so everyone can watch it.
29 notes
·
View notes
Note
Maybe I should be asking an Orthodox person this, but I do not understand the hubbub with the Filioque. To me it is hair splitting, could you explain why it would not be hairsplitting? Or if there is an aspect I am missing as to why it was the final straw for a schism?
Okay, ah, I think there are two aspects that need to be addressed here. The first deals with the simple fact of its inclusion in the Creed, and I'm going to come off as a traitor here, so let me clarify my personal position; I believe the filioque best represents the reality of the Spirit's procession, but I think it was bad that the Western Church inserted it into the Nicene Creed.
As Henri de Lubac talks about in The Christian Faith, the Church allows for many theologies, spiritualities, customs, and liturgical traditions to coexist; "from one country to another and from one century to another there are many differences in emphasis." What connects all these elaborations and practices of the Christian faith is that they are all anchored in that faith, as revealed by God and distilled in the Creed. That faith is the unity of all Christians everywhere.
And what convinced me that the inclusion of the filioque was not a good move actually came from another Catholic thinker, Karl Rahner, who wrote "the inevitable pluralism met with in theology cannot and must not cause the unity of the creed of faith to disappear from the Church, even in its verbal expression." Except.... that's exactly what the Western Church did. It took the Creed as articulated by two separate ecumenical councils, and unilaterally added words to it. And while there are historical reasons for that inclusion, and while I think the theology behind its inclusion is true, I think modifying what was meant to be the unifying symbol of the Christian faith was not a good move. And I can see why the filioque inclusion seems like a rupture from the Orthodox tradition. Because... we have caused the unity of the creed of faith in its verbal expression to disappear.
And I think that's a bigger problem than the content of the filioque clause itself, to be honest. But, as far as the content goes, let's talk about that, too.
In the Orthodox perspective, the three Persons of the Trinity share a common nature, and there's a kind of symmetry where the traits of any given Person is either held in common by all three, or is reserved for one of Them. So, for example, the state of being uncreated and eternal are traits shared by all Persons in the Trinity, as is the fact that They are almighty and infinite. Those are traits derived from their divine nature. But in terms of traits distinctive to Their individual Personhoods, well: the Father is seen as the Source of the other two, while the Son is the only begotten Member of the Trinity, and the Spirit is the only spirated Member. An Orthodox Christian may argue that the filioque ruins this symmetry of Persons; if the Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son, the distribution of Personal traits is no longer equal (two Persons have a trait that one Person does not have). This can be seen as a kind of ontological inferiority on the Spirit's end.
From the perspective of the Roman Church and Her western descendants, the articulation of the Trinity doesn't really involve this "common to All or particular to One" logic. Instead, we tend to use a sacramental logic that assumes that how the Persons of the Trinity operate within Their creation also tells us something about how They relate to each other from all eternity. So, the Father sends the Son into the world (John 17:1-4); hence the Father begets the Son. But the Father sends the Holy Spirit to the disciples "in [Christ's] name" (John 14:16-17, 26). So, the Father sends the Spirit, but the Son is somehow involved. The Holy Spirit is believed to still have one origin, but this one origin is the joint act of Father and Son. Part of this may have to do with different starting assumptions. Eastern Christians tend to start their thinking on the Trinity as Three existing in Unity, while Western Christians tend to start their thinking on the Trinity with One existing in Multiplicity.
But this is a super complicated subject, so if someone wants to correct me about either of the perspectives I tried to lay out, please feel free to do so.
#asks#Christianity#Catholicism#Orthodox Christianity#Holy Trinity#God#God the Father#Logos#Holy Spirit#Karl Rahner#Henri de Lubac#Creed
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Supernatural S04E21 When The Levee Breaks
This my favourite episode ever! Can you guess why?
of course it means it will also be heavily anti Dean. Dean girlies, this ain't for you.
God, Dean getting pissed about Sam lying, as if Dean hasn't lied to Sam before is getting me pissed off
Sam's angry "Dean!" Is so hot
it makes me so angry that Dean and Bobby left Sam to deal with the detox all alone. How could they? And the fact that it didn't occur to Dean that Sam could die during that? Like wake up!
no Bobby, he is not here because you love him too much. He is here because you are scared of Sam!
Poor Sam, all alone, screaming for help, terrified of everything happening to him, not sure what's real what's not and they left him to rot in there! What's even worse? They cuffed him to the bed and left him to wake up alone again ?! 😤
at least Bobby had the sense to doubt their actions whereas Dean was busy being self righteous. Pull that stick Outta ur ass, Dean
ahhh Jared played the junkie role so well! The tremors, the trembling hands, the blinking eyes, the seizures, the agitation!!!
I know Jared's a professional but don't tell me he didn't have fun manhandling Ruby a bit!
Sam had no right sexualizing drinking demon blood 😍 sorry, I'll allow the demon blood drinking if it's this hot
Dean, honey, you did exactly what Ruby did. Left Sam alone. You're not better than her just because your eyes don't flash black. Yet.
that exchange between Sam and Dean is so important to me. Despite Dean locking Sam up, he is glad to see his brother and wants him to join him to bring down Lilith but Dean.. he just can't give up control, can he? The one time Sam's begging him to trust him but nope. Sam is still so understanding but the moment Dean calls him a monster..damn!
Woohoo!! That punch was so long overdue! Anyone else noticed that sexy roll of Sam's shoulders?
Dean should be glad Sam doesn't get physically violent as often as Dean does. He would get his ass handed to him
no matter how much of a dick Dean has been to Sam, the one thing that I never liked was Sam strangling Dean. Like, honey, no! You are better than this
seeing all the shit Dean has pulled through the seasons, i realised just how forgiving Sam is. He doesn't punch him back everytime Dean hits him. He never brought up Dean calling him a monster or the corrupted voice mail. He trusted him even when Dean said he was going to say yes to Micheal. He moved past Dean killing Amy. Sam is too good. Dean.. eh!
#Supernatural#Spn#S04E21#when the levee breaks#Sam Winchester#Ruby 2.0#anti dean winchester#jared padalecki#sam girl#jared girl#Bobby singer
33 notes
·
View notes
Note
is there anything you're critical of Dean for? not meant as a gotcha, i just haven't been reading your blog for long.
i just struggle getting out of the Doylist perspective and holding characters accountable. i'm annoyingly cognizant of the external factors like them not wanting to pay Misha or having to cater to a sizeable portion of their audience that preferred the easier digestible, more accessible "two bros in MotW episodes" that didn't serve the overarching storyline or relationships or if they did, didn't take up that much air time or did it superficially (flashback to Dean being called overdramatic in 6x20 because they just didn't. get. it.).
I think it's clear that Dean and Cas’s relationship issues involving communication are an active choice made by the writers that don't just exist because Misha isn’t in all the episodes. If the writers didn’t want us to pay attention to Cas’s absences, they would establish that Cas consistently keeps in communication offscreen over the phone and that things between Dean and Cas are good when they see each other in person. Instead, they choose to do the exact opposite. They show Cas being avoidant and hiding in episodes he's not in and in episodes he's in too. They emphasize that Cas's absences are more than physical—he creates emotional distance—he hides and lies and keeps secrets when he feels ashamed or has become convinced that he needs to handle things on his own. This is a very core character hangup for Cas. It also doesn't make him a bad person. It makes him (for lack of a better word) human. His flaws are understandable and tragic and rooted in trauma, and one of the worst parts about the end of Supernatural is that Cas never gets to fully work through these feelings and have his eyes opened to exactly how deeply he is loved and that his worth is more than what he can do for others.
To be quite honest though, I think people need to become more comfortable with hearing that Cas isn't perfect without jumping to conclude that he is being condemned for being imperfect. No one is perfect—especially not our Supernatural blorbos. That includes Dean who is also imperfect. I'm not sure exactly what post of mine prompted this ask, but I don't actually think I've been that critical of Cas or condemned him for anything. I've only shined a light on some of his flaws—particularly in episodes where fandom has tended to ignore them and condemn Dean as The One And Only Bad Friend.
I guess I just wonder why it has always been acceptable to highlight Dean's flaws (even ones that don't actually exist) without ever mentioning a single thing another character did "wrong" to contribute to a conflict, but when I highlighting anything Cas ever did wrong in a conflict with Dean without a healthy helping of deancrit, people feel I'm not being "fair" enough. It's very clear that people want me to protect Cas more—even against the lightest criticisms— but I'm not sure why he's considered more deserving of that than Dean. I'm also not sure why a doylist perspective would invalidate Dean's experience as a fellow character within the story affected by Cas's absences and not an omniscient viewer who's thinking about how many episodes the writers can afford to put Misha Collins in (and again—I do not think a doylist perspective explains Cas's behavior—the behavior is intentionally written into his character for seasons upon seasons).
I'm not going to fight it if people choose to call me "cas critical" or "sam critical" because that's their prerogative. To be clear though, I don't prefer to engage with stories as competitions where we count up who did the most wrong things and assign that person as The Bad Character Among The Good Characters. I can understand if it looks that way from an outsider's perspective, but I'm actually reacting to fandom largely deciding to engage with Supernatural as if it should be consumed as a story about The Bad Character Among The Good Characters and deciding that The Bad Character Among The Good Characters is Dean. I'm far less critical of Sam or Cas than I'll ever be of fandom’s need to make everything about keeping score of who did the most wrong stuff. It can be fun to shitpost about it to piss of crits, but the actual point of the story isn't to figure out which one did the most bad things and "hold them accountable".
26 notes
·
View notes
Note
I didnt realize Payne clarified that Sauron wanted Galadriel to be *his* queen. I've seen some antis insist that he wasn't attracted to her in the least so he meant to say 'I can make you A queen, but not MY queen'.
And they were also going on how there's a hierarchy in the film industry, in which certain positions hold more narrative and directional authority despite what actors and lower level exec's say. That's why they kept using this hierarchy that Payne and McKay override Charlotte's words about haladriel. But if we go by the Anti's information, then that confirms that Sauron did want Galadriel as HIS QUEEN (love or not), since its stated exactly that way by Payne himself. If not, then why didn't he say 'A queen with me', or 'A queen by my side', instead? There are other ways he could've phrased. Even if you say that he used 'basically', that still doesn't change the fact that Payne made it clear that Sauron wanted Galadriel to rule WITH him, not by some corner of ME (I know we're kind of ignoring Gal atm to dissect the wording but I see them as fictional characters not real people lol). It also kind of overrides some of Charlie's earlier remarks where he denies or subverts Sauron's intention regarding making her queen. But it echoes back to what you said though, that things change over time.
And just to make it clear, we don't need to necessarily obey what showrunners/actors have said and treat it like it's a hard rule for how we interpret these characters. This is just an interesting piece of info I think should be pointed out. Especially since haters will find anything to try to minimize and invalidate haladriel. I feel very sad (for them lol).
Well, I'll answer that by saying that first, I don't think that I can do that ignoring Gal's response, simply because what she answered is important to understand why Sauron didn't say "my" queen, imho.
I think we can't leave Galadriel outside of the loop here, because the phrasing used by Sauron is directly connected to the way she herself used. She said, "you would make me A tyrant", to which he naturally answers, "I would make you A queen". Then she's the one using the "MY" : "And you. MY king".
What I think, it's that the writers wanted to highlight the fact that them being together as king and queen/husband and wife was her idea as much as his. I think it's important for the interpretation of that scene, for the audience to realize that Galadriel wanted this.
Let's say Sauron had said, "I would make you MY queen", and she had answered, "And you would be the king" : it would have sounded like something that was forced on her : she would have been his wife in this scenario, wether she wanted it or not. It would have given "forced marriage" vibes, and would have deprived Galadriel of her agency. And believe me : if the antis are now using this scene against shippers because Sauron didn't say "my queen", you can be sure that they would have weaponized this scene even more if they could have interpreted it that way.
With Galadriel being the one who says, "And you. My king", it says that she was seeing herself ruling with him, as queen and king and as husband and wife. Notice that he didn't correct her, as it was probably what he wanted to hear.
It also kind of overrides some of Charlie's earlier remarks where he denies or subverts Sauron's intention regarding making her queen.
I mean, I don't know if it overrides it. Charlie first denied that it was a marriage proposal, but later admitted that this was "de facto" exactly that.
"Sauron, meanwhile, won’t make the mistake of connecting with someone ever again, not after Galadriel’s rejection of his de facto “marriage proposal,” as Vickers describes it, at the end of Season 1. “He’s moved on to bigger and better things” since, Vickers argues, but try as they might, there’s no denying their entwined fates. "Galadriel and Sauron share the deepest connection to another being either of them has ever experienced, a fact that haunts them both in the new episodes. What they share “is greater than romance,” Vickers explains. “Their connection runs far deeper than anything surface level.”
Source
Now if you refer to the fact that Charlie claimed several times that if Galadriel had accepted his offer, she would have been nothing more than his secretary, another shiny ring at his hand, I also don't think that it contradicts the idea that he wanted her to be at his side as a queen. I often read that Charlie's wrong, because Sauron is a Maiar who was created to follow and serve. So by this logic, he wanted to worship Galadriel like he worshipped Morgoth.
I think it's true, for most of it, and we saw it during all season 1 : who called all the shots ? Galadriel did. Who followed her despite his initial refusal ? Sauron. She wanted him to be a king ? He made himself a king. She wanted him to go rescue the Southlands with her ? He went with her, even if first, he didn't want to ! The fact that it was in his personal interest to do that is besides the point : at no moment did he try to force her into doing anything. It's not in his nature, and being in his repetant era then, Sauron was more inclined to listen to his nature than we saw him be in season 2. In season 1, Sauron was the happiest we saw of him so far, especially when he was at the forge, doing what he was created for, but also when he followed Galadriel on the battlefield :
I mean, words have their importance especially when it comes to Sauron, who never chooses his words randomly :
She "pushed" him. He described here exactly what a leader does. After Morgoth's defeat, he found himself leaderless, and he was lost because due to his nature, what he really wants/needs is someone who takes the lead. In Galadriel, he recognized someone who had the potential to do just that. In season 2, we saw him in a position of leadership, manipulating everybody like a puppet to make them do everything he wanted, yada yada. And yet, that was his face for 99% of the season :
He seemed as alive as a dead fish.
Now, where my opinion often diverges from what seems to be this most popular opinion, is that I believe Charlie's nevertheless right regarding the turn their partnership as king and queen would have taken, had Galadriel accepted. Thousands of years ago, Mairon was corrupted by Morgoth, and as time passed, I think he developed a desire to overrule Morgoth, because that's what this kind of corruption does : it gives an hunger for power, even to beings who are not originally meant to want it. As Sauron, he was given an incommensurable power over others, and he enjoyed it. He always followed Morgoth and never betrayed him (probably because he had sworn a blood oath to him, preventing him to take any action against him), but he grew extremely frustrated of his methods, as he had a different vision.
And of course he did, because destroying was, again, not what he was created for. What Morgoth did, and asked him to do, went against his nature. As apprentice of Aulë, he became skilled at crafting and making things. When Celebrimbor told him his only craft was treachery, it must have hit HARD, because it wasn't always the case.
(Aside note : I was a bit annoyed that Celebrimbor was the one who got to hit Sauron where it hurt the most, while Galadriel only got a pathetic "heal yourself" that couldn't mean anything to him because they never had any conversation about his corruption by Melkor).
He started dreaming of the idea that if Morgoth was ever to disappear, he would take his place and rule in his stead, and that's exactly what he tried to do once Morgoth was defeated :
As we saw, it didn't turn out very well. Why ? I think, because Sauron wasn't Morgoth, he wasn't a born dictator, and he didn't manage to inspire enough fear of him to Adar and the Orcs, only resentment, so when he tried to put Morgoth's crown on his head, they betrayed him.
(idk but maybe looking like a twink didn't help. Just sayin')
But it doesn't mean that Sauron gave up on his dream of ruling, though. So I think that when he decided that he wanted Galadriel to be his queen, he was probably torn between what his nature dictated him to do (giving her all the power she needed to have to be THE queen of Middle-Earth, while he would get the follower's role he had beside Morgoth back), and the ambitions he nourished of ruling Middle-Earth himself, leaving only crumbs to Galadriel like Morgoth did to him. Even in this scenario, he would have shared his power with her, but not enough to take the reigns of the kingdom.
We can't know what would have happened, we can only speculate, but I tend to side with Charlie on this one because at the beginning, there's a clear power imbalance between them : Sauron is a powerful Maiar, a demigod, and Galadriel is just an Elf. For her to become as powerful as him and be his equal, would have required him to willingly share the entirety of his power with her. Would have he done that, while he had all these ideas about healing Middle-Earth and believed he and only he knew exactly how to do it... ?
I mean, the only thing we can be sure of, it is that it was his intention to give her plenty of power. He wanted everybody not to just respect her, but to worship her like a goddess. It's the extent of this power that we don't know about. And did he want to be worshipped too ? I'd say, probably yes, personally.
Sorry anon, I didn't start answering this ask planning to write a dissertation... I guess I can't help myself, when it comes to Sauron. He's just that interesting !
#saurondriel meta#trop meta#sauron#galadriel#haladriel#saurondriel#sauron x galadriel#trop#galadriel x halbrand#halbrand#mairon#annatar#ask answered
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Serious question but no need to answer if you don’t want to
I see a lot of talk about Amber’s portrayal being sexist in the show, but I’m not quite sure why? To me her motives always seemed really well-defined (high pressure = “I’m only worthy when I’m successful”) so she puts on this sharky mask with a feminine facade so she is feminine enough to get a certain amount of approval but never shows how much she cares (which could be used against her but also could be used to undermine her “oh you’re too soft”). I thought the show did an excellent job of showing a mask for her
But a lot of people talk about 00s sexism and how it impacts her characterization. The sexism… Is it that she gets called a cutthroat bitch? Or how her story revolves around a man after she leaves House’s team? Is it the fridging?
Any of those could be it I guess but it just sounds like you and others are talking about something a little more fundamental to her personhood so I thought I’d ask if I’m missing anything.
Very interesting question! I think you're getting at exactly the trickiness of the issue, which is that sexism always operates systemically. It's not that any key aspect of Amber's character "is" misogynist, it's that every aspect of her character is automatically filtered through a lens of sexism.
In today's world where "bitch" has been very de-clawed, turned into a more casual and way less gendered insult that's used without cruel intention in queer slang, I think it's hard to understand just how violent the term was--and was meant to be--in the aughts. House in canon is not calling Amber a bitch in a cute, almost self-deprecating, friendly way (though I think it's valid to re-write it that way in fic to defuse the term!). He is calling her a bitch to contain and belittle and dehumanize her. We see the term mobilized this way against Cuddy in 5 to 9 as well: calling a woman a bitch was an extremely powerful rhetorical tool to turn any dangerously competent, brilliant, threateningly accomplished woman back into a harmless, debased, controllable object. So, "CB" reflects how easily the fact that Amber is the "female House" gets turned against her--it doesn't mean she's an eccentric genius like him, it means she's an evil copycat who needs to be put down. And this kind of structural logic applies to her whole characterization--it doesn't matter that House does it all more frequently and worse, if she does it, it's unacceptable because she's a woman. (There are parallels here with how racism means that when Foreman acts like House, he also gets the axe instead of the narrative bending over backwards to make what he did alright.) That's why she was fired, after all!
And her death. Woof. Classic case of killing a woman for man-pain. Everything supposedly about her death is actually about how her violent destruction can be used to fuel Wilson and House's character arcs. The narrative is occasionally conscious of this, for example, Wilson saying "none of you even liked Amber" is an almost metatextual reminder of how cruelly she was disenfranchised in every way (including the sexism of her trying to "defect" to the men's team early on, having no female friends, because unlike House who has so many people orbiting him, she is truly alone). Comparing her death to Kutner's is instructive: Kutner gets a whole episode that's about characters desperately trying to know him better. They trace their relationships towards him. Amber, on the other hand, is nearly absent from her own death. The characters trace away from her and towards the way male characters feel (Wilson's loss, House's guilt). Amber becomes just an imagined figure of House's guilt. Even her ghost is not her own. (Though I think many fans do a more feminist read and reclaim the way she haunts the narrative--but imho that would be a negotiated if not fully oppositional reading, to use Stuart Hall's decoding/encoding terms.)
One easy way to see that gendered difference is in how the show refers to these characters after death. Kutner is always "Kutner," never just "House's dead fellow" or rarely "our dead colleague." Amber is often referred to as "Wilson's dead girlfriend." Kutner is his own person, Amber rhetorically gets reduced to an object belonging to a man.
In conclusion: sexism operates structurally, which can make it hard to identify! And one of the funny effects of contemporary fandom doing so much good work to un-fridge women and give marginalized female characters richer personalities and more chances to grow is that canon's intended message of sexism gets obscured. Which, is awesome? Keep up the good work! Let's make misogyny unintelligible 🎉
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
SHIFTING ISN'T SPECIAL
please bare with me on this one bc it might be a bit longer than i expected (and excuse my very bad title-naming skills 😭)
in this essay i will try to put down in words exactly what i realised today as i started my first day into reprogramming my mind, something that i’m doing while following reya singh’s method. what is that?
shifting IS easy.
yes, i know everybody says it, but it’s the truth and i’m not telling you this as someone who shifts regularly to her drs, because i don’t (yet!). however, it did just click in my mind why people always say it and mean it. and i feel incredibly stupid for not understanding it waaay earlier than just now, 4 years into my journey.
now, let me walk you through the thought process behind this.
in reya’s 4-day method for reprogramming your mind, she instructs to write a list of your beliefs and non-beliefs. this may sound really silly and kinda useless at first - believe me, i woke up this morning thinking “what exactly am i supposed to do after that?” - but there’s a valid reason for it, which is to help you delete from your mind the idea that shifting is like a superpower that’s simply not for everyone and very hard to reach, when that is not the case at all!
in my own beliefs list, i’ve written “i am capable of shifting” right in between “i can speak english”, “i can write and read” and “i can eat --” (and some other things like “i can’t eat gluten”, bc i have celiac disease, “i can dream”, we all do! and “i can lucid dream”). you see where i’m going with this? i’m putting shifting in the same category as things we all normally do, that we sometimes don’t even think about doing since they’re such a natural activity. to this list i could add “i can breathe”, because we do it automatically, without even realising unless we focus on it. the same can be said for drinking or eating really, if you’re angry or thirsty you just go and get whatever pleases you the most and not dwell on it.
in the non-beliefs list, i’ve written obvious things like santa and the easter bunny (which isn’t common here in italy tbf but yeah) and sentences like “i can’t swim”, “i can’t draw”, “i can’t eat strawberries” and in between them also “i don’t fear shifting”. here, the point is that all these listed beliefs are stuff i know for a fact to be false: i can swim perfectly, i am an artist and i love strawberries + i’m not allergic to them or anything. by placing shifting there, i'm stating that just like i KNOW i can swim or whatever, i also KNOW i'm not scared of shifting.
you’re literally gaslighting your subconscious mind into believing what is real for a fact and what isn’t.
after writing down this list, which can be done on paper just like on your preferred device, i reread everything twice explaining to myself why i chose these things and why they are beliefs or not. that’s how i realised that shifting is easy. when people talk about it “clicking” they weren’t lying!
shifting isn’t special, this is what the list thing tries to prove you. it’s not special because, just like breathing and eating and reading, we do it subconsciously everyday. take your own first language: you speak it naturally without having to doubt it, and if you know a second language well enough like i know english for instance (my mother-tongue is italian) then you can even start talking to yourself and think in that language without having to search up translations.
what’s the difference with shifting then?
the difference is that shifting hasn’t been taught to us in the same way as a language has been, all throughout school. the same thing goes for reading and writing: we read and write naturally because we’ve been taught how to when we were young and it’s now engraved in our brains, just like with learning our first language, which is something we normally do thanks to our teachers, our families and the people around us, of course. this doesn’t happen with shifting in most cases, as we all know, which means it’s normal for it to take a bit to grasp as a concept and existing thing/activity. it’s natural, most of us human beings just don’t know about it, nor that we’re capable of doing it.
this is why i said it’s not special: just like breathing, everybody can do it (and so do you)!
going back to the non-beliefs list; i should also add that as a society we usually are taught what to believe in from a young age, and specifically what is believed to be a fantasy, a dream, or something real. as grown-ups, though, we have the right to believe in whatever we want, like shifting. as a realistic person, i understand that some people may have a hard time believing something as great as shifting could be true, because it genuinely doesn’t sound like it! so yes, this is also a factor that can and does make it harder for someone to trust their guts and expect to wake up somewhere that’s only fictional here.
shifting clicks for everybody at different times, but i hope this post will help some of you here understand it better and know that what more experienced shifters say always has a meaning, you just need the time to properly reflect on it to get it!
when it clicked for me a few hours ago i felt a huge rush of adrenaline and happiness bc yes, i can actually shift. i’m just overcomplicating it for no reason and so many of you are doing the same!
it’s okay though, we’ll all get there <3
(psa: if you saw any grammar mistakes or anything NO YOU DIDN'T and also please don't mind if this rant doesn't sound logical, i tried my best to explain myself like i wanted to 🥲)
#lola’s thoughts ✮#shiftblr#shifting blog#shifting realities#shifting community#shifting IS easy#shifting motivation#shifting antis dni#reality shifting#shifting methods#desired reality
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Complete | Paul Aron
Hello loves! Thought I would make another book now that I'm on Thanksgiving break. My requests are open if anyone would like me to write them a little something! I hope you enjoy it!
Paul Aron X OC
Summary: Paul is unhappy with the race results and Olivia decides to spend the rest of the day trying to cheer him up
Warnings: none, it's all fluff!
Paul leaned back against his car, eyes fixed on the ground. The pit area was quiet now, the buzz of the race weekend already fading into the usual background of his life. But today was different. Today, disappointment felt heavier. He was lost in thoughts of missed turns and split-second miscalculations when he heard familiar footsteps approaching.
"Hey, you," Olivia said, her voice bright and comforting as she walked up beside him. Her smile, as usual, softened the edge of his frustration, if only a little.
"Hey, Liv," he murmured, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.
She tilted her head, looking him over. “Rough day, huh?”
Paul nodded, swallowing back the urge to vent his frustration. His races mattered to him more than anything, and today’s loss—well, it stung. “Could’ve done better. I don’t know...everything felt off.”
Without a word, she leaned against the car beside him, shoulder to shoulder. He felt a familiar warmth, the same comfort that Olivia always brought. They'd been close for years, ever since he'd started racing in junior karting leagues. She’d seen every high and low and somehow never wavered in her support.
“Hey, I have an idea,” she said suddenly. “How about we leave the pit and just...do something fun? Like, something not-racing related?”
He couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. Olivia always had a way of making things better, even if he didn’t quite understand how she did it.
“Alright,” he said, surprising himself. “What do you have in mind?”
* * * *
They found themselves at a small park overlooking the city, and Olivia had come prepared with a blanket and a bag of snacks she’d picked up on the way. Paul realized how rare it was to see this side of life, away from the endless noise of racing, the thrill of speed. He hadn’t really just...stopped in a long time.
They sat down, and she handed him a snack without a word, her usual sense of timing impeccable. She knew he needed a little time to shake off the disappointment.
“It’s okay to feel let down sometimes,” she said, as if reading his mind. “You’re always so focused, so hard on yourself. But, Paul, it’s also okay to just...be.”
“Be?” He chuckled lightly, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s in my programming, Liv. You know that.”
She laughed, nudging him with her shoulder. “I know. But you can try for one afternoon, can’t you?”
He looked over at her, really looked this time. Her bright eyes, her steady presence...for a moment, the frustration of the day melted away. She wasn’t here to talk about the race, to criticize his laps, or even to ask him why he was feeling low. She was just here for him, exactly as he was.
“You know, I don’t say this enough,” he said quietly. “But...thanks. For being here, I mean. For always knowing exactly what to say and when to say it.”
A soft smile spread across her face, a look he hadn’t seen before, or maybe had never really noticed. “It’s nothing, Paul. It’s just...I know you. I know how much racing means to you. And it’s okay to be disappointed. But you’re more than one race, you know?”
Her words lingered in the air, and for the first time, he found himself really seeing her, understanding what she meant to him. Olivia had been there through every victory, every setback, her presence as constant and grounding as the road beneath his tires. She wasn’t just his friend—she was his anchor.
He took a breath, suddenly aware of how close they were sitting, their shoulders brushing, their faces just inches apart. There was a spark between them, something he’d brushed off or ignored, thinking it was just the comfort of a close friendship.
But now, in the quiet of the park, with her gaze soft and knowing, he realized he didn’t want to ignore it anymore.
“Liv...” he started, his voice catching. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to speak the words he’d been holding back. “I...I don’t think I could do this without you. Racing, life—any of it. You make it...better.”
She looked up, her eyes searching his face, her expression softening. “Paul, I’ll always be here for you. I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to be...you.”
He felt his heart pound, realizing just how precious she was to him, how much he’d come to rely on her presence, her quiet strength. Without thinking, he reached over, letting his hand find hers. It was a simple touch, but it said everything he couldn’t quite find the words for.
For the first time in what felt like ages, he didn’t feel the weight of the race, the disappointment, or the pressure. He just felt...complete.
As they sat there, watching the city lights blink to life in the distance, he realized that maybe—just maybe—he’d found something even more valuable than a win on the track.
#f1#f1 fanfic#formula 1#formula one#paul aron#fyp#fanfic#books#formula 2#formula racing#f1 x oc#x oc#f2 x oc#i love paul aron smmm
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wrote this weird little zombie poem/short story and for some reason my brain was supplying buck and eddie from 9-1-1 as the characters, so here’s the buddie cut of this stupid little story (trigger warnings of the normal zombie related media stuff<3)
my best friend died on thursday– car crash.
it’s saturday now but don’t cry for him, he was alive a few hours later.
my best friend died on thursday– but i think he came back wrong.
i still don’t understand what happened,
buck was in the hospital, in a coma and dead to the world.
i was sat there with him, holding his limp hand in mine,
his girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) didn’t have the heart to show.
he looked so small and pale, covered in bandages from head to toe.
then his heart stopped, they couldn’t get it pumping again.
they dragged me out of the room, to let them work.
thursday, 1:17pm.
thursday, 3:34pm, buck called me.
i hadn’t left the hospital, i thought it was some sick fucking joke.
“my best friend just died, how fucking dare you-” i remember yelling into the phone.
that certainly turned some heads but then he was standing there,
my fucking dead best friend, in a hospital gown with bandages hung loosely off of him.
what the fuck– i thought i was dreaming–
some fucked up grief induced hallucination but nurses were scrambling to help him.
the person from the morgue was running down the hallway after him.
all of them ushered him away, into an exam room.
he was making a scene, apparently i was too.
what the actual fuck-
no, no, no- his heart stopped, all brain activity had died, he died-
anyways, i passed out. (thursday, i don’t know what time.)
i must have hit my head pretty hard on the way down
and there he was, sat like i had been earlier, holding my hand.
his hand was cold, that pink that always flushed his skin hadn’t come back yet.
the nurses had given him some clothes and me, a bandage for my head.
“you died, buck..” i said.
“it didn’t stick,” he shrugged.
they wanted to keep him for observation but he disagreed, seeing as he was perfectly fine.
every scan was clear, even the random ones they pulled out of their asses to keep him longer.
my best friend who had just died, who earlier was more bandage than skin, was fine.
i don’t get it but they discharged the both of us,
we uber’d back to his place, he wouldn’t let me sleep on the couch,
i can’t remember his reasoning but we shared his bed– i held him in my arms.
(we cuddled, not that either will actually admit it.)
friday, 8;13am, he was gone when i woke up.
i found him downstairs, doubled over the toilet.
the kitchen, a mess and food strewn out across the counters.
the ground beef (we were planning to cook for dinner) was torn into–
like an animal had got to it. he had eaten it, my brain supplied.
“don’t throw that away!” he said, wiping the bile from his mouth.
“did you eat this?” i asked, the beef held frozen over the trash.
“i- you know the answer to that.”
“why?” i sighed, rubbing at my temples and setting the half eaten- jesus-
i sat the half eaten thing of ground beef back where i found it.
my best friend looked at it, pink and raw and ground, and then back to me,
i wasn’t sure what buck was exactly getting at with that look.
he scooped his fork into the beef, not breaking eye contact with me and took a bite.
i nearly vomited but he seemed fine, unaffected,
which confused me given the initial vomiting on his part.
“what the actual fuck are you doing?”
“what? i’m hungry,” he said with his mouthful.
“so, some raw meat was your choice of a nice breakfast?”
“i cooked some eggs but they made me hurl.”
“are you fucking serious, buck, and this? this isn’t making you sick?”
“nope.” he answered matter-of-factly.
friday, 7;46pm, he broke up with his girlfriend.
his girlfriend of three years, the woman he was going to propose to next month.
it’s kinda understandable as she didn’t visit him in the hospital when he literally died.
other than that, the breakup came out of nowhere. broken up just like that.
she’d come to check on us– no, come to check on him.
(we had an understanding. she didn’t like me and i didn’t like her either.)
(she always said i was jealous of her which… i can’t fight her on.)
he was angry at her, rightfully so, and things got heated.
she’d cheated on him, she revealed post-breakup. i shouldn’t have been listening–
but it was kinda hard to ignore when they were screaming at each other
and then she was screaming bloody murder.
i ran into the kitchen, she was on the ground flailing and he was on top of her-
holy fucking shit, my best friend fucking bit her!
he tore right through her neck and gnawed at her flesh.
what the actual fuck was happening? holy fucking shit, this was actually happening.
i pushed him off of her but she’d already bled out.
“do you mind?” he asked, blood smeared across his face. coating his nose and chin.
“yes. i do mind! you- holy fucking shit, buck! are you crazy?”
“i was hungry,” he said meekly. “also, she cheated on me and i-”
“you didn’t have to eat her!”
saturday, 1:02am, we buried the body in a field out in the middle of nowhere.
we buried a body in the middle of nowhere.
no, we buried the bits and pieces that my best friend decided he didn’t want to eat.
what the actual fuck is my life turning into?
“this better not become a habit of yours.” i sighed, dropping my shovel.
“and what if it does?” buck smirked.
“i’m not helping you bury more body parts.”
“oh really?”
“really.” i said, lying through my teeth.
it’s him and i til the end of the line, i’m his accomplice in this
and i wouldn’t have it any other way.
“so, are you zombie?” i asked, starting up the truck.
“i think so.” he replied, looking out the window. “are you okay with that?”
“are you still, y’know, you?”
“i think so.” he repeated.
“then yeah…” i laughed, awkwardly as i often do. “as long as you don’t eat me.”
“i wasn’t planning on it.”
“i’m glad.”
“besides, it would be kinda mean to eat you before i take you on a date.”
“what-”
“i’m serious, eddie.”
“oh.” i blanched, “i’d like that.”
oh. oh- oh my god? what the fuck is happening?
it’s not every day you get to bury a body with your best friend
or burn evidence or scrub the kitchen down from top to bottom
because he happened to decide he was craving human flesh.
saturday, 7:30am, my boyfriend after a long conversation, took me out for breakfast.
he was full, he’d just eaten an entire person minus the gallbladder and some bones
because apparently he’s like a cat who won’t eat every part of the mouse.
i still don’t understand how this happened, he died,
became a honest to god zombie, he ate his cheating girlfriend,
we buried her body, lied to the police and now,
here, we are getting breakfast.
how the fuck did i manage to get a boyfriend out of this…
it’s been a long two days.
#isaac screams into the void#911#911 abc#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#isaac writes poetry#art by druid
20 notes
·
View notes