#and even still only had enough energy to get myself up onto my couch

[ghostickle]

Have had health issues my whole life that make moving hard and it took till 21 for me to cave and just buy a cane

[zoofzoofxx]

—The art of eyecontact—

Pairings ; Axel Kovacevic x fem!reader

Summary ; After Sam insisted you accompany her to the club, you finally agreed, hoping it would help you move past everything that happened with Axel. However, a peculiar interaction with Kwon set off a series of unforeseen events that caught you entirely off guard.

Warnings ; Alcohol usage

Pt. 3

୨୧・・・・♡・・・・୨୧

‘Come onnnn, Y/n, don’t be boring,’ Sam whined, her voice dripping with exaggerated desperation as she gave me a firm shake. I was curled up tightly in my blanket, fully immersed in the comfort of my couch and a random movie that I wasn’t even paying much attention to. Her relentless persistence was beginning to chip away at my patience.

‘No,’ I replied flatly, shaking my head with finality. Sam was on a mission to drag me to the club tonight, but the idea of stepping into that crowded, chaotic environment was unappealing—especially because I’d seen Zara’s story earlier. She was there with her team, and of course, Axel was with her. The thought of seeing him so soon made my stomach churn. I wasn’t ready to face him yet. Tomorrow would already be challenging enough, and I needed time to steel myself mentally for what was inevitably going to be an awkward encounter.

‘Please, Y/n!!!’ Sam’s tone shifted to a dramatic plea as she sank to her knees, hands clasped together like she was begging for her life. Her exaggerated antics might have been amusing under different circumstances, but right now, they only added to my irritation. I barely glanced in her direction, still shaking my head in defiance.

Despite her theatrics, I remained unmoved. The mere thought of Axel lingering in the same room as me tonight was enough to make my resolve unshakable. Yet, as persistent as Sam was, I knew she wouldn’t give up without a fight.

Sam groaned dramatically, throwing herself onto the couch beside me, her arm draped across her face like the world had just come crashing down.

‘You’re such a buzzkill,’ she huffed, peeking at me from under her arm. ‘It’s one night, Y/n. Just one. You don’t even have to stay long, I swear. And let’s be real, you’re going to look amazing in that dress you bought on our first day here in Barcelona. It’s way too stunning to be wasted.’

I looked up from my cocoon of blankets, unimpressed. ‘The dress is still in the bag, Sam. And I’m wearing sweatpants.’

‘And that’s fixable,’ she shot back without missing a beat. ‘Ten minutes, max. I’ll help you get ready, you’ll look incredible, we’ll dance a little, and—’

I cut her off with a flat tone, ‘And I’ll have to deal with Axel.’

Her teasing expression faltered for a moment, the dramatic air she carried around her suddenly softening. Her voice was gentler now, almost careful. ‘Y/n, you don’t have to talk to him. You don’t even have to look at him. Zara’s going to be busy with her team, and Axel… well, let’s just say he’d be a fool to let anything ruin your night. He’s not worth it.’

I hugged my blanket tighter, staring at the muted movie playing on the screen. I wanted to go—part of me really did—but the idea of seeing Axel tonight made my stomach churn. It wasn’t that I didn’t know how to handle him; I just wasn’t ready. Not yet. Tomorrow, I’d have no choice but to face him, and that was already weighing on me. How could I mentally prepare for that if I had to deal with him tonight, too?

Sam didn’t say anything for a moment, letting the silence hang in the air between us. Then, she shifted, sitting upright and leaning toward me with a small, knowing smile.

Sam’s knowing smile widened as she leaned closer, her energy impossible to resist. ‘Listen,’ she said, her voice soft and encouraging. ‘We’ll keep it simple. Just get up, put on that stunning dress, and I’ll help you with everything else. Trust me, you’re going to feel amazing. We’ll have fun, and you’ll completely forget about… well, you-know-who.’

I hesitated, my eyes drifting to the chair where the shopping bag from earlier this week sat. Inside was the dress I’d bought on our first day here in Barcelona. It was from a cozy little boutique we’d stumbled across while wandering the streets—full of warm lighting, vintage mirrors, and racks of carefully curated pieces. The moment I’d seen the dress, I knew it was something special. It wasn’t flashy, but the soft white fabric and simple elegance had caught my attention. Sam had encouraged me to try it on, and though I’d hesitated, I couldn’t stop smiling once I saw myself in it.

‘I don’t know…’ I started, fiddling with the edge of my blanket.

‘Y/n,’ Sam said firmly, her tone kind but insistent. ‘You loved that dress. Don’t let it sit there when you could be out feeling as amazing as you look in it.’

Her words were enough to push me into motion. I sighed, tossing off the blanket and rising from the couch. ‘Okay, fine. But if this night turns into a disaster, I’m blaming you.’

Sam grinned triumphantly, clapping her hands together. ‘Fair enough! Now, let’s get to work.’

While she rummaged through her bag, pulling out makeup brushes and curling irons like a magician revealing her tricks, I grabbed the dress and headed to the bathroom. The silky white fabric felt cool against my skin as I slipped it on, the fit just as perfect as I remembered. When I stepped out, Sam froze mid-motion, her mouth falling open in mock astonishment.

‘Y/n,’ she said, drawing out my name dramatically, ‘you look like you just stepped out of a movie. That dress was made for you.’

I rolled my eyes with a small smile but couldn’t deny the hint of confidence her words gave me. ‘Alright, what’s next?’

‘Sit down,’ she instructed, waving me toward the chair in front of the vanity. ‘Hair and makeup, obviously. You’re in good hands.’

As Sam worked, her chatter filled the room, light and easy. She styled my hair into soft waves, adding just enough volume to make it feel glamorous but not overdone. For makeup, she went for a natural glow with a touch of shimmer on my eyelids and a classic swipe of mascara.

‘You know,’ she said as she blended the final touch of blush, ‘tonight’s not about anyone else. It’s about you having a good time. So, don’t overthink it. Just enjoy yourself—you deserve it.’

I met her eyes in the mirror, her sincerity catching me off guard. ‘Thanks, Sam,’ I said quietly.

‘Anytime,’ she replied with a grin, stepping back to admire her work. ‘Now, look at you! Ready to turn heads.’

I stood up, glancing at my reflection. The confidence I’d been missing started to creep back as I smoothed the fabric of the dress. ‘Alright,’ I said, grabbing my clutch with a newfound determination. ‘Let’s do this.’

Sam beamed, linking her arm with mine. ‘That’s the spirit. Now, let’s show Barcelona what you’re made of.’

We stepped out the door together, and for the first time that night, I felt like maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

—

Sitting by the bar, sipping on an espresso martini, I found myself engaged in polite small talk with a few familiar faces from the opposing team. The atmosphere was loud and lively, filled with the thumping bass of the music and the hum of conversations around us. Sam and I had been chatting casually, laughing at something ridiculous she’d said, when she suddenly announced, ‘I need to call Miguel.’

I raised a brow at her. ‘Right now?’

‘Yes, right now,’ she said, grinning and waving her phone. ‘It’s important.’

The music was far too loud for her to have any hope of hearing him, so we decided to step outside. The crisp night air hit me the second we walked out, the stark contrast to the heat of the club sending a shiver down my spine.

Sam wandered a little further down the alley, pressing her phone to her ear and trying to find a quieter spot. I stayed back, leaning against a random wall as I waited for her. That’s when I felt it—the cold. It wasn’t just chilly; it was sharp, the kind of wind that made you regret not bringing a jacket.

Rubbing my hands together in a futile attempt to keep warm, I realized how much the alcohol had gotten to me. The espresso martinis I’d been nursing all night suddenly made my head feel heavy, and my thoughts a little sluggish. Drunk and cold was not the ideal combination, and I couldn’t help but shiver as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, trying to stay warm.

The street around me was quiet, apart from the muffled music spilling out from the club doors behind me. I glanced over at Sam, who was pacing slightly as she talked animatedly into her phone. It was strange being out here, away from the chaos inside, but a part of me welcomed the break, even if it came with the chill.

I sighed, rubbing my arms as the cold wind sliced through me, making me shiver uncontrollably. The night felt even colder now that the alcohol in my system was wearing off, leaving me feeling a little disoriented. A yawn escaped my lips as I glanced toward Sam, who was still pacing further down the alley, her phone pressed to her ear.

The sudden sound of the club door opening made me turn my head, and there he was. Kwon.

He stepped outside, letting the door swing shut behind him, his sharp eyes scanning the area before landing squarely on me. He was wearing a black jacket with a bold Cobra Kai logo stitched on the chest, the emblem catching the dim light. His presence was unmistakable, commanding as always, though his expression was hard to read—part surprise, part amusement.

‘What are you doing out here?’ he asked, his tone blunt as he walked closer, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets.

I straightened up instinctively, the cold biting at my skin even harder under his gaze. ‘Just waiting for Sam,’ I said, motioning toward her as casually as I could. ‘She’s making a call.’

Kwon stopped a few feet away from me, tilting his head slightly as he looked me up and down. ‘You look like you’re about to freeze to death,’ he said flatly, a hint of mockery in his voice.

I laughed nervously, rubbing my arms to try and warm up. ‘Yeah, it’s colder than I expected.’

‘Clearly,’ he said, arching a brow. ‘Did you even think about bringing a jacket, or are you just bad at planning ahead?’

I frowned, his tone making my stomach twist uncomfortably. ‘I didn’t think I’d be standing out here for so long,’ I muttered, looking away.

‘Right,’ he said with a smirk, shrugging off his jacket and holding it out toward me. ‘Here. Take it before you turn into an icicle.’

I hesitated, glancing between him and the jacket. ‘I’m fine. You don’t have to—’

‘Don’t make this more complicated than it is,’ he cut me off, his voice sharp. ‘Just take it. It’s not like I’m doing this for you—I just don’t want to hear about how someone froze to death outside the club.’

His words stung a little, but the cold won out. Reluctantly, I took the jacket, slipping it on. It was warm, the fabric carrying a faint scent of him—clean and woodsy, though I tried not to think about it too much.

‘Thanks,’ I said quietly, avoiding his gaze.

He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘You’re welcome,’ he said, though his tone didn’t carry much warmth. After a pause, he added, ‘Next time, maybe think ahead. You don’t seem like the type who handles cold well.’

I bit back a retort, pulling the jacket tighter around me. Kwon always had a way of getting under my skin, but at least now, I wasn’t shivering.

‘I’ll be leaving,’ Kwon announced, his voice cutting through the stillness of the night as he saw Sam making her way back toward us.

I glanced at him, still not entirely used to his bluntness, but before I could respond, he patted my shoulder arrogantly, the motion deliberate and a little too forceful. His touch lingered for a second longer than necessary, and I could feel the slight warmth of his hand through the fabric of his jacket.

Without waiting for a reply, he turned on his heel and started heading back toward the club. He didn’t look back, his strides purposeful and confident, as if he hadn’t just done me a small favor moments ago.

I opened my mouth, about to thank him for the jacket, but the words died on my lips as he disappeared into the club without a second glance.

I stood there for a moment, the jacket still draped over my shoulders, feeling the cold night air around me once more. I wasn’t sure why his arrogance stung, but it did. Sam was just reaching my side as I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the awkwardness.

Sam raised an eyebrow as she approached me, noticing the slight shift in my mood. ‘What’s up? You look like you’ve been hit with a wave of confusion.’

I shook my head, trying to brush it off. ‘Nothing, just… Kwon being Kwon.’

Sam tilted her head, a smirk forming on her lips. ‘Oh? Kwon being Kwon? What does that even mean?’

I sighed, glancing down at the jacket draped over my shoulders. The familiar Cobra Kai logo on the sleeve caught her attention instantly, and her eyes widened in surprise.

‘Wait a second,’ she said, her voice rising with shock. ‘You’re wearing his jacket?’

I felt a flush creep up my neck, suddenly self-conscious. ‘Yeah, he gave it to me,’ I muttered, feeling oddly defensive. ‘I was freezing, and he—’

‘Gave you his jacket?’ Sam interrupted, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. ‘Hmm, that’s… not something I would expect from him. What did he want from you?’

I blinked at her, momentarily thrown off by her question. ‘What do you mean, what did he want?’

She gave me a pointed look, clearly not buying my nonchalant tone. ‘Come on, Y/n. Kwon doesn’t just hand over his jacket for no reason. There has to be more to it than that.’

I hesitated, unsure how to explain it. He hadn’t really wanted anything, at least not directly. He had been his usual distant self, sarcastic and borderline mean, but there was something in the way he’d offered me his jacket that made me question his intentions. Maybe I was overthinking it.

‘I don’t know,’ I said slowly, feeling a bit uneasy. ‘He just noticed I was cold and… I guess he didn’t want me freezing out here.’

Sam raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. ‘Really? That’s it?’

I sighed, crossing my arms and glancing back toward the club. ‘Yeah, I guess so. It’s not a big deal.’

Sam didn’t seem entirely convinced, but she let it go for now. She looked me over one more time, her eyes lingering on the jacket as if trying to piece together some unspoken motive. ‘Well, I’m not complaining. It’s a good look for you, anyway,’ she said with a wink, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at my lips. ‘Thanks, I guess.’

I could tell Sam wasn’t a big fan of Kwon, and I had a feeling her compliment about me looking good in his jacket wasn’t exactly genuine. She was just trying to distract me, to get my mind off Axel. It was clear in the way she’d casually brushed it off, as if the whole thing with Kwon was no big deal. But the truth was, it wasn’t that simple.

I tugged the jacket a little tighter around myself, feeling its warmth but also the odd weight of it, like it carried more meaning than just the fabric against my skin. The whole encounter with Kwon had been strange. There was something in the way he’d acted—his arrogance, his nonchalance—that made it feel less like a simple act of kindness and more like a gesture wrapped in layers of unspoken tension.

As we walked back toward the club, Sam chattered on about the night, about how great it was that I’d decided to come out and how much fun we were going to have. But I couldn’t focus on her words. My mind kept drifting back to Kwon’s indifferent attitude and the way he’d just left without a second thought, and then there was the nagging thought about Axel.

Axel.

The thought of seeing him again tomorrow had already been enough to set my nerves on edge, but now, with Kwon’s jacket wrapped around me, it felt like there was something pulling me in two different directions. I didn’t know what to make of any of it.

Sam nudged me playfully, clearly unaware of the storm brewing in my head. ‘Come on, don’t let that jackass mess with your vibe. We’re here to have fun, remember?’

I smiled faintly, trying to force myself back into the present, but the weight of the jacket, of Kwon’s words, and the unspoken tension between me and Axel stayed with me. It wasn’t that easy to forget.

We stepped back into the club, and the contrast hit me immediately—a hot, suffocating wave of air, thick with the mix of bodies, music, and lights. It was a sharp reminder of how loud and alive everything was in here compared to the quiet, chilly night outside.

Feeling the heat creep up on me, I slipped off Kwon’s jacket, draping it over my arm. The faint scent of it still lingered, grounding me in a way I didn’t fully understand. I opened Instagram on my phone, typing out a quick message to him: Hey, is there a chance we could meet later? I have your jacket. I hit send but noticed it stayed unread. Typical Kwon.

Before I could dwell on it too long, something else grabbed my attention. Sam was weaving her way back toward me through the crowd, grinning like she’d just won the lottery. In each hand, she held a shot glass, the liquid inside glinting under the strobe lights.

‘Look what I got!’ she said, her voice cutting through the music as she handed me one. ‘Cheers to us, Y/n!’

I hesitated, eyeing the glass suspiciously. I knew my limits, especially after everything I’d already had tonight. ‘I don’t know, Sam,’ I started, shaking my head. ‘I think I’ve had enough.’

But Sam, ever persistent, rolled her eyes before knocking back her own shot effortlessly. ‘Come on,’ she coaxed, her tone playful and teasing. ‘It doesn’t even taste like alcohol. I swear.’

She stuck her tongue out dramatically, proving her point, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little. She was clearly in her element, and her energy was infectious. Relenting, I finally raised the glass. ‘Fine. Just this one.’

‘That’s my girl!’ Sam cheered, pulling me into a quick side hug as I downed the shot. True to her word, it didn’t have the harsh kick I’d been expecting, just a subtle sweetness that lingered.

I smiled faintly, raising the now-empty glass in a half-hearted cheer. ‘To us, I guess.’

Sam clinked her empty glass against mine, her enthusiasm practically radiating off her. I, on the other hand, found my focus slipping as I clutched Kwon’s jacket in one hand and tried to lose myself in the moment. But my thoughts kept circling back to Axel.

What was he doing right now? Was he here somewhere in this chaotic crowd, or was he still out with Zara and the others? No matter how much I tried to shake it off, the thought of him loomed in the back of my mind, pulling me in a direction I wasn’t sure I wanted to go.

‘Soooo… another shot?’ Sam asked, her tone mischievous as she swayed a little, clearly enjoying herself.

I shrugged, feeling the buzz of the night taking over. ‘Sure!’ I replied, grinning and forgetting entirely that I was supposed to be keeping track of my limits.

Sam disappeared for a moment and came back with a different color this time—a vivid blue shot that glowed under the club lights. I took it in my hand, ready to drink, when Zara suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

She was as drunk as we were, her excitement bubbling over as she hugged me tightly. Her words were slurred, tumbling out in a chaotic, happy mess.

‘Whoa… re-repeat what you just said!’ I laughed, holding the shot in one hand as I tried to make sense of her rambling.

I was about to drink it when a firm hand stopped me. Turning, I saw Kwon standing there, his expression sharp and unamused.

‘I think you’ve had enough,’ he said curtly, snatching the shot glass from my hand before I could even protest. He placed it on a nearby table with a deliberate motion, clearly unwilling to argue.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Sam grabbing the abandoned drink without hesitation and knocking it back, oblivious to Kwon’s disapproval.

‘Oh! Kwon!’ I said, suddenly remembering the jacket. I grabbed it and shoved it into his hands with a bright smile. ‘Thank you for warming me up earlier.’

He looked at me with a mixture of exasperation and something unreadable, but I didn’t give him time to respond. Turning to Sam, I grabbed her wrist. ‘Sam, let’s go outside. I don’t feel well,’ I said, pressing a hand to my temple.

The club felt overwhelming—the heat, the pounding music, the blur of lights and voices. My head was spinning, and the sensation was too much.

I managed a weak smile at Zara and Kwon before guiding Sam toward the exit. Once outside, I collapsed against the same wall I had been leaning on earlier. The freezing night air hit my skin like a splash of cold water, helping to clear my mind, if only slightly.

I sat there, eyes closed, focusing on my breathing as Sam lingered nearby. A few minutes later, I heard footsteps, and when I looked up, Kwon and Tory were walking toward me. Kwon carried a bottle of water, his usual sharp demeanor still intact, while Tory’s expression was softer, filled with concern.

Tory knelt beside me, gently grabbing my hand as she offered the water. ‘Drink some water,’ she said firmly.

I barely registered the sound of more people spilling out of the club, their footsteps crunching against the pavement as they approached. My eyes stayed closed, my body too heavy, the cold air lulling me toward sleep against the wall. That is, until a familiar scent drifted past my pink-tinted nose—a warm, intoxicating mix of something unmistakably Axel.

My eyes snapped open, and there he was, kneeling beside me. His hand rested gently on my knee, its warmth cutting through the chill in the air. Axel’s expression was calm but serious, his gaze flicking to Tory as he murmured something about getting me, Sam, and Zara home safely.

Tory nodded, giving me one last reassuring smile as she rose to her feet. Kwon followed her without a word, his jacket slung over his shoulder, and they both disappeared back into the club.

I blinked sluggishly, trying to piece together what was happening, but before I could form a coherent thought, Axel scooped me up effortlessly. My head lolled against his shoulder as the steady rhythm of his footsteps replaced the chaotic noise of the night.

The crisp night air carried his scent, a mix of cologne and something inherently him. I found myself leaning into it, breathing it in as my eyelids fluttered. My thoughts grew hazy, and the world around me blurred into a comforting haze.

The next thing I knew, we were in the quiet sanctuary of my hotel room. Axel carefully laid me down on the bed, his movements gentle and precise, as if afraid I might shatter. The softness of the mattress beneath me felt like a cloud, pulling me further into the depths of sleep.

Zara appeared out of nowhere, rushing to my side and enveloping me in a drunken hug. Her voice was a jumble of words I couldn’t quite make out, but the warmth of her embrace was familiar and comforting.

Axel gently but firmly pulled her away, his touch protective yet restrained. As Zara stumbled back, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

I blinked up at him, catching the subtle shift in his eyes. They weren’t cold or indifferent like they usually were—they held something different, something warmer, something… admiring. He didn’t smile, but the look was enough to stir something in my chest.

I muttered something under my breath, barely audible even to myself. Maybe it was, ‘Sleep tight.’ Maybe it was nothing at all.

As I rolled over, hugging the small teddy bear I always kept on my bed, the faint sound of Axel’s footsteps retreating faded into the quiet of the room. My last thought before sleep took over completely was the lingering feel of his presence and the way his eyes had looked at me—like I wasn’t just another fleeting part of the night.

[boredpotate]

Happier Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Arcane or any links. I only own the concept idea for this story.

Concept: Isekai Fem Reader turns back time to fix her timeline, but has unforeseen consequences.

Reader Pov.

I'm in a clear white space with blue pulsing light that that endlessly spread throughout the whole space. Up, down and around. I don't know how I got here, but a little ways away from me I see someone. A hooded figure with some kind of staff.

"Hello?" I call out and the figure turns to me, though I can't make out a face under the hood. A sharp pain suddenly goes through my skull and I black out.

My eyes shoot open and I feel my body being shaken on the bed again and grunts that I know only one little girl makes. I turn my head and see Isha trying to shake me awake, which makes me smile and forget about the weird dream.

"Five more minutes," I grumble and turn over to the other side, making Isha climb onto the bed and shaking me more to wake up. Her little grunts and hums insisting that I wake up for the day, "*sigh* Okay, I'm up. I'm up." I say as I sit up and get a morning hug from Isha. Her hug being much tighter than before, since her body has become much more healthy during this passing month. Along with more energy to run and jump around.

After separating from the warm hug, Isha hops off the beg and grabs my shoes and leg brace for me as I scoot over and swing my legs over the side. She helps me get my shoes on and put on my leg brace; tightening the lower straps while I tighten the higher one's before holding my hands and helping me stand up. The cane no longer needed now that I have enough strength in the rest of my body to balance myself, but my braced leg still not fully recovered, but getting better. I let out a big stretch and groan before putting on my gear. Isha almost immediately tugs on my hand after I'm ready and heads towards the bedroom door. Always acting like she's my nurse or caretaker ever since she started getting healthier.

What has felt like a little over a month has been nice. Therapeutic in a way. It felt like home again. Having talks with Vander, Silco and Benzo. Getting to know the older Claggor and Mylo and what their interests are and bantering like old times. Talking with Sevika, Vi and Cait about their work and learning that Vi and Cait moved into their own place; even getting invited for tea sometimes. Though most of my time was significantly spent with Powder, Ekko and Isha in Powder's lab. Surprisingly the same one Jinx had but a vastly different mood in it. Though more bright colors have been brought into it thanks to Isha and Powder's drawings and decorating together; creating a strange, but nice, mix of themes.

Mostly Powder, but with a touch of Jinx.

Both Powder and Ekko invited me in to help them with their project for the Innovator's Competition, in fact it felt like they insisted on it with Isha either pulling or pushing me to the lab with them. If I remember correctly it's some kind of chem energy cell that lasts longer and outputs more power. I couldn't do much on the research or figuring out how it works, but I could help with more labor tasks just like old times and Isha seemed to love learning from them. Besides that they would plop me into one of the bean bags or couch and let me watch them at work. Occasionally playing with Isha when she get's bored of waiting to continue working. I didn't mind; it felt nice not being alone. We eventually got the damn thing working, but they still need to run some tests.

Anyway, Isha drags me out to the bar where I see the boys with Powder sitting at their usual table and Vander getting the bar ready for the day while talking with Benzo. He turns to Isha and I as we sit at the bar. Opting for two tall chairs with backs to lean on instead of the regular stools.

"Rise and shine. Today's gonna be a big day," he says before heading to the back and coming back out with two plates of food, "Here, eat up. It's still warm." he says as he sets them down for us. Isha immediately stuffing her face, which makes me slow her down before enjoying my own.

"So, how many people are you expecting tonight?" I ask curiously as I eat my breakfast.

"Quite a lot. There's gonna be a whole party goin' on here along with the competition. Music and dancin'. Y'know Gert, right?." He asks, making me smirk.

"Of course. The girl Mylo has a crush on~" I say out loud teasingly as I glance at him. He flips me the bird as a response and I giggle before I turn back to a chuckling Vander.

"She has a band called "The Chem Sisters". They're gonna perform tonight, and Heimerdinger said he might play some toons too. Said he was working on some bar songs."

"Ha! Can't wait hear those!" Benzo says with a laugh.

"Hey I never asked, what's the big deal about the competition anyway? Is there some big prize?" I ask and I am greeted with Powder sitting next to me and scooting closer.

"Yes and no." she says as she steals some food off my plate. I give her a glare before poking her arm with my fork, making her laugh as Ekko comes up to sit next to Isha. Scooting his stool closer and laying and arm across Isha and I's seats, and I feel his arm brush against my back.

"There is a trophy for the winner, but it's mainly to catch the eyes of investors. Get them to invest in you or your invention, or at least have eyes on you to invest in for future projects or something." Ekko explains for me.

"Ooooh, so the real prize is just getting the spotlight in front of the investors?"

"Yup. The top three are likely to get more eyes on them and if your invention works and you get your bag, that's when you can start taking off in life. Or at least that's the idea." Powder says as she leans her head on my shoulder and letting out a sigh. A normal occurrence from both her and Ekko whenever we hang out somewhere. Ever since that one night we accidentally fell asleep in a pile in Powder's lab after losing track of time and spending all day working.

'It actually wasn't that bad. Best sleep I ever had in fact.'

For some reason, I spot a look from both Vander and Benzo. Their eyes going between Powder and Ekko, and I glance over and see Ekko shifting and adjusting in his seat; avoiding eye contact.

"Something wrong?" Powder asks sounding a little nervous, but is acting casual. Leaning more into me.

'Did they do something?' I wonder before looking at Vander and Benzo. The both of them having slightly narrowed eyes before glancing at each other, then looking back at us.

"Nothin'."

"Yeah, nothin'. Don't worry 'bout it." Benzo says as Vander moves and leans over to him and they start having a hushed conversation. Making me even more confused.

"What was that about?" I ask both Powder and Ekko.

"I dunno." "No clue." They both say with shrugs.

'Clearly I'm not gonna get an answer. Better just drop it.' I thought before I put whatever that was aside and finish my breakfast.

"So, you and Isha gonna join us again?" Powder asks, making Isha tug on my sleeve.

"I know, I remember Isha. Don't worry," I say to her before turning back to Powder, "I promised Isha I'd take her out for some ice cream today and get her an outfit for the party tonight, if she didn't have another paint bomb accident." I say making Powder stiffen before sitting up.

"You-You're going alone?" Powder asks with concern clearly in her voice.

"No. I going with Isha. But yeah, besides her it might just be the two of us."

"But what if you two get lost or something?"

"I think we'll be fine. It shouldn't be too hard to find our way there."

"What if you get hurt?," Ekko asks which makes me look at him in confusion, "Zaun is more safe than ever, but that doesn't mean there isn't any bad eggs stills around. Your leg still isn't fully healed, so if something goes wrong, you might not be able to get away." he explains his worries, but I still feel confused about their concern.

"You're not wrong, but what are the chances of something really bad happening that I'll need to run away? There's a bunch of enforcers on patrol too." I say to try to reassure them, but fail based on their conflicted looks.

"We can go!," I hear Claggor call out and we turn to look, "Mylo and I aren't doing anything today, so we can go with you. We could use a break after spending so much time on our plants." he explains and I see Powder relax a little out of the corner of my eye.

"Are you sure? You don't need to do any finishing touches on your plants or anything?"

"No. The samples from the tree and the plants really helped out a lot into understanding how to get them to grow and still produce air. We already spent the past few days running tests, so we're pretty much ready for tonight's competition."

"There we go. That solves it." Powder says before going back to her relaxed posture leaning against me again and I glance over to Ekko to see he also relaxed. I hear a chuckle from Claggor and glance back to see Mylo shaking his head.

"And people say I'm stupid," he says to Claggor sounding perplexed before turning back to us, "So what are we doing? I wasn't listening."

"We're gonna get clothes for Isha for tonight, then get her some ice cream. Maybe one of those big cones with three scoops." I say, which makes Isha excited; bobbing in her seat.

"You think we spoil her too much?" Ekko asks as Powder picks more food off of my plate.

"Definitely," I pinch Isha's cheek because she's being too adorable, "but she's our spoiled kid, so who cares." I say before pulling in Isha for a quick tight hug, then once again catch Vander and Benzo giving a skeptical look our way before turning back to their conversation.

"A-Anyway, we better get the energy cell ready. Right, Ekko?" Powder says as she stands up from her seat.

"Yeah. You two stay safe out there." Ekko says quickly as he stands up and they both go speed walking out of the bar. Clearly in a rush.

"Well. I'm done, what about you?," I ask Isha and she nods her head before hopping off her seat, "Alright. You two ready to go? Or you need to get breakfast too?" I ask Claggor and Mylo.

"Nah, we got something on the way here this morning." Mylo says as they get up from there table.

"Alright. Vander, we're heading out. We'll be back before the competition starts." I say as we head towards the doors.

"Stay safe out there."

"Bye!" I say and Isha gives him a wave before we all head out for the day.

Vander Pov

"She has got to be the most clueless person I've ever met." Benzo asks after we watch them leave.

"No kiddin'. I mean, I knew they spent a lot of time together. Never thought they'd get like that though." I say, as I look at him disbelief and remembering Powder leaning against Y/n and Ekko having an arm out behind her and Isha being protective, "I know those kinds of looks Benzo. You saw that too right?"

"Thought my glasses might have been playing tricks, but you're right. Those two lovebirds are usually always with themselves in that lab of hers; never seen them bring anyone else with them in there that much," he says as I refill his drink for him and filling a glass for myself, "I'm wonderin' if they both know what each other's feelin'."

"They most likely do if you ask me. After that "she's our kid" comment those two looked more red than a tomato." I say with a chuckle at the image.

"I see why they would. Have you seen those four goin' out around town? Only a month and they're already actin' like a small family they are. I heard the rumors, but thought that's all they were." Benzo says before drinking from his glass.

"You're not alone. I only found out about it when Gert asked me one time during her shift, thought she was joking till I started really taking notice of those two's behavior around Y/n. It's pretty obvious now. Especially after that; never saw Powder get that comfy with anyone but Ekko," I say before taking a sip from my own glass, "So, what's your opinion on it?"

"Y'know me Vander, if they want to and Y/n is fine with it, then I don't see a problem with it. It's not like we haven't met anyone before who had some "friends"."

"That's different. What those two got goin' for her is more than just wantin' a "friend" Benzo. They want her heart."

"Hah! That's pretty obvious. They're already rasin' a kid with her. We better be careful, or else next week they'll be married. Wouldn't mind her as a daughter-in-law though. She fits right in around here." Benzo says, making me chuckle at the idea.

"I wouldn't mind either."

Ekko Reader

"Well it looks stable, power is going through fine, no leaks and not overheating. I think this baby is ready," Powder says after checking off a list of precautions we're taking. I watch her from her workstation as she examines the power cell and can't help but admire the look in her eyes. The passion behind them, "You're staring again."

I snap out of it and fumble with a screw driver I was holding as she laughs.

"U-Uh sorry. Can't help it sometimes." I say as she walks up and wipes some grease off my face before she leans in and gives me a peck on the cheek

"You're cute when you try to flirt," She says as she sits on the chair for her workstation and stretches, "I wish Y/n and Isha were here. We would be celebrating together." she sees with a fond look in her eyes and I can't help but do the same.

"It feels like somethings missing without them."

"Yeah," she says, obvious that her mind is wandering before blinking out of the trance she was in, "By the way, should we talk about that? Y/n, I mean. Y'know?" Powder asks, the first time either of us have actually addressed this topic about her.

'It's pretty obvious.'

"I mean, if you want to. We can. Only if you're ready though."

"Are you ready to talk about it?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

".......Tomorrow then?"

"That sounds good." I say with some relief in my voice. Too much on my mind today to really talk about this.

"So, I guess we're finally done. Investors are gonna eat this thing up, so be ready to feel like eye candy to them." she says with a satisfied smile. I can't help but feel conflicted as I glance between the energy cell and Powder, not wanting to ruin the moment.

".....Hey, I uh, I wanted to actually ask you something." I try to start off, but she is already giving me a skeptical look.

"Yeeeaaaaah?"

"I-I was thinking. Maybe we can present it together, as partners?" I ask her and I already see the hesitance on her face, "I wouldn't have been able to do this without you, and you seem to really like doing this. If we were to present together-"

"Ekko. I just.... I just don't know, okay?," she says as she starts to close in on herself before shaking her head and standing up, "I'm going to get ready. You should too." she says before she starts to leave.

"Powder!," I call out to her, but she doesn't stop, "Damn it."

Reader Pov

"Look at you. You look great Isha," I say as she wears her new frilly dress I got her. We got back awhile ago to prepare for the party for the Innovator's Competition and because the sun was getting low. Isha immediately wanted to go put on her dress; dragging me upstairs without giving me a chance to say hi to Ekko at the bar or bye to Claggor and Mylo before they left to get the plant they chose to show off for the competition, "Ready to show off to people?" I ask and she nods her head before holding my hand and we make our way back down to the bar.

As we walk down the stairs and I look over the people that have arrived a little early for the competition I hear Vander call out to us over all the noise.

"Now who let a princess in the bar, huh?" he says making Isha smile brightly and laugh a little while I also see Benzo and Ekko smile at her from there seats. We reach the bottom of the steps and I help Isha up onto a seat.

"Aw, she looks lovely," I hear from behind and turn to see Silco.

"Silco! You made it!" Benzo says as he claps a hand against Silco's shoulder.

"I wouldn't miss such an important event. Plus, we have royalty visiting." he says as he gestures to Isha with a slight bow, and Vander pulls out a coloring book and crayons from behind the bar for her.

"Get over here. I'm gonna need help serving tonight." Vander says, making Silco chuckle and he ruffles Isha's hair before heading behind the bar with Vander.

I smile at the two before noticing Ekko looking down and I get a look from Benzo. He nods towards Ekko, before moving over to Isha and asking her about her coloring book while I take his seat next to Ekko.

"What's got you so down in the dumps? Something happen to the power cell?" I ask, a little worried about all the hard work he and Powder put into it going to waste.

"No. That's not it. It's just..... I made Powder upset." he says and I give him a skeptical look.

"You didn't say something stupid did you? Did you say "Yes" when asks if she looks fat in a dress? You always say "No". It's not an actual question, Ekko" I ask jokingly which makes him chuckle and nudge my leg a little with his.

"No! Not that. At least I don't think I said something stupid," he says now making me look at him in genuine confusion. He turn on his stool to face me directly and I do the same, "Look, I know we've only known each other for little over a month, but we spent a lot of time together. You..... You see the same thing that I do in Powder, right? When she works? And focuses in on an idea?"

"Oh, yeah! Of course! Passion in her eyes, fully invested on the task, prodigy, genius, talented and a whole lotta potential. You both are the same like that..... except Powder has a habit of biting her lip when she's in her work trance," I finish before looking at Ekko and he stares at me in silence, "What?"

"U-Uh sorry. But yeah, yes! Exactly! I asked Powder if she would present the power cell with me as partners, so that maybe she would start pursuing her passion, but she didn't want to. It's not just this either. She has always been hesitating on pursuing a dream or passion and I don't know why. I know she can be great, an-and I'm not saying I don't like her now, it's just I know she has this passion that she loves and can pursue. But-"

"She's holding herself back for some reason?"

"Yes," he says with a sigh and takes a few breathes before hesitating to look back at me, "I know this might seem like a weird thing to ask, but d-" I cut him off by with a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll talk to her." I say which makes him smile before surprisingly he gives me a hug.

"Thank you." he says and I gladly return the hug even tighter.

"It's fine. As long as you don't mind keeping watch of princess over there." I say as I point a thumb over my shoulder towards Isha.

"It would be an honor, but I don't really know where Powder went. I haven't seen her since she walked off."

"I'm sure I can find her." I say as I stand up and head back up the stairs, already having an idea of where she might be.

'There was always a certain spot she liked to go to.'

I make my way up and up through doors and more stairs leading to upper levels of Zaun. I see and hear more people making their way to The Last Drop for the event. I get to look out over Zaun, the higher I go the more of Zaun and Piltover I get to see before finally reaching that special place I have engraved in my head. Powder sitting by herself at the edge in a new outfit and her hair down.

"Powder?" I call out to her and she turns around. I see she applied makeup and her new outfit in full. A nice jacket with a white dress making a simple, but very good combo.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?" she asks sounding confused as I walk closer to stand nearby, not wanting to invade her space since she might still be in a bad mood.

"Looking for you. Ekko said you were upset." I say, which makes her slightly sad before turning back forward to the beautiful view of our home.

"You didn't have to come looking for me. It wasn't anything bad."

"I know, but I wanted to find you make sure you're okay and..... maybe talk about something?" I say that last part with a little hesitance, which makes her sigh.

"Why?," she asks, still looking forward at the view, "Why does everyone keep pushing me on this? What's wrong with just staying where I am?"

"Because then you'll be stuck Powder. You'll be stuck while the world moves on and regrets build up," I say to try to reach out to her, "We all care for you, and we all know you have a gift. I know that may sound weird since we only met like a month ago, but I've seen the way you work with Ekko. You love inventing and working in that kind of stuff. What's holding you back?" I ask, genuinely curious on the reason.

She stays silent for a few second before I finally hear something.

"I'm scared."

"Huh?"

"*sigh* I'm scared." she says, now making me perplexed at that answer.

"Scared? You? What could you possibly be scared of?" I ask with a short laugh at the idea.

"My-......Myself."

That freezes me in place. My feet feeling rooted in the ground at that answer. At Powder being scared of herself. Just like before. Before she became Jinx.

"W-What?" I ask, trying to control my breathing and ignore the old memories resurfacing again.

"All my life, ever since I was young I always found a way to just mess something up," she says my eyes widening at her words. At their similarity to what she said to me before, "It's like I was bad luck or something. I go on a job with my siblings, it goes wrong. I try to invent something, it doesn't work or ends up hurting someone. What if..... what if I mess up again?"

"But, you were young then Powder. There's nothing wrong with failing; we're all supposed to fail and learn from them to get better. It shapes us. Makes us stronger." I say to try and reassure her, but I don't seem to reach her.

"I-I..... I don't know," she says as she stands up, "Maybe I'm just a jinx."

Jinx. That damn word echoes in my head. Memories of a young Powder crying and blaming herself for the deaths of Vander, Mylo, and Claggor. Believing herself to be destined to hurt everyone close to her. To never know peace or happiness.

'No! Not again!'

Powder turns around and walks past me to leave, but I grab her arm and turn her back around to stop her.

"No!," I say letting my emotions get to me as she stares at me in shock, "You listen to me, Powder. You have the making of greatness inside of you, but you gotta push for it. You need to leap! Charge down the path you want in life and let nothing get in your way," I take a step back and gesture towards the city with my arms, "and when the time comes in life for you to really test your inner iron and steel and show the world what you're made of. I-I can only hope I get to be there that day Powder. Catching some of the light shining off of you," I say as I look up at the stars starting to shine in the night sky, "You may not believe in yourself Powder, but I do," I say before turning back to look at her with tears running down my eyes and cup her face with my hands gently, "You're gonna rattle the stars one day. I know it."

I stand there in tears and see her eyes water before she shoots forward and embraces me into a close hug. I hold her close to me, hearing her sniffles and labored breathes. I take in the moment and just hold her close to me, feeling my shirt get wet from her tears.

We stand there for what feels like forever in each other's embrace, before I feel her pull away but still hold on close and I see her makeup streaking down her face, so I wipe them away with my sleeves.

"You-You're makeu-"

"Shut up." she says before I feel her grab my collar and pull me into a deep kiss her arms wrapping around my neck. My head blanking for that moment not knowing what to do as I feel her explore me deeply before pulling away. Then I start to panic.

"Wha-!" I go to yell, but she puts a finger over my lips.

"Ekko knows," she says, making my brain even more fried than it was a second ago and based off her laugh it shows on my face, "C'mon, I'll tell him about this tonight and we can talk about it all tomorrow. I just really needed that." she says before dragging me back down the stairs and leading me to the bar while I'm left with no words.

'What the fuck.' Is the only thing I have on my mind as we arrive back at the bar. All the sound and music not registering as Powder puts me on a bar stool.

"You're back!" I hear Ekko yell out and I turn to see him and Powder hug and kiss. The kiss brining back memories from just a few minutes ago and Powder gives me a wink, confusing Ekko and making me blush.

"I want to talk to you for a second." Powder says to him before pulling him off to somewhere as I stare at the bar counter; still processing what the fuck just happened.

"You okay?"

My head shoots up and makes eye contact with Vander and I immediately start to panic again.

"U-Uh u-um, ye-yeah. I'm fine. I just....," I say as I stare at the back door of the bar that I know leads to the alley, "I just need a breather from all these people. Be right back." I say before quickly rushing off towards the back door, and step outside for fresh air.

I take some deep breathes of the cool fresh air of the night.

'Calm down. Just breathe and calm down.'

I slowly steady my breathing before looking back at the door and consider going back in, but back out and instead head down the alleyway.

'I need to walk. Get my mind off of, whatever the fuck just happened.'

I thought before walking down the alleyway towards the main street which looked much more busy and crowded tonight.

"It really is a par-"

I'm cut off by a sudden force of pain to the back of my head and falling to the ground; my helmet rolling away from me. The world goes blurry and my head dizzy as I reach for my gun, but my hand is stomped on and my gun is taken from me.

"Got you now. Bloodhound," I hear someone say before I feel my multiple footsteps and my hands be tied behind my back and my mouth gagged, "I think it's time for payback gang." they say before I feel myself be picked up. Too light headed and dizzy to fight back.

'Help.'

Hope you enjoyed. Sorry if there are grammar mistakes.

[rizzyu]

▵▿— 3am Teacher’s Lounge

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x gn! reader

Category: tooth-rotting fluff

Warning: reader is also a teacher, my own scenario where there are teacher dorms in Jujutsu High

Summary: You woke up with a sore throat in the middle of the night, so you decided to drink some tea in the teacher’s lounge, only to find Satoru unable to sleep as well.

A/N: bro it's much faster when I have a clear idea of every single "scene" in a fic rather than writing when I only have an overall idea god damn...

Blurriness filled your vision as you slowly opened your eyes. Drowsiness shrouds over you as pain radiates from your throat. You sat up on your bed while swallowing thickly, futilely attempting to get rid of the soreness. Your eyes dart over to the digital clock sitting on the nightstand beside your bed. 3:14am. Lately you’ve been getting less and less rest due to all the meetings and new missions you were given. Appearances of curses were increasing rapidly after all.

With a groan, you pulled yourself off the comfort of your bed. You slowly treaded out of your dorm room before heading over to the kitchenette in the teacher’s lounge to make yourself a cup of tea to soothe your sore throat. As you pour the freshly boiled water into the cup, colour spreads from the tea leaves in the tea bag, and warm steam ascends into the air. You inhaled softy, taking in the tranquillity unfolding around you.

“What’re you doing up so early?” You abruptly turned your head around upon hearing a voice behind you, only to see Satoru treading towards you with his hands tucked in his pockets. The snow-haired man wore a wide-collared black t-shirt, tan pants and rectangular framed sunglasses, even though the sun was long gone. His face was adorned with his typical wide smirk. Though you’d never admit it verbally, but you had always found him looking captivating in his casual clothes (as if he wasn’t already usually).

“You’ve already been lacking rest. You won’t get any energy if you keep sleeping late but waking up early.” Satoru watched you over his sunglasses as he leaned against the fridge. “I can’t if I have such a sore throat.” You responded, “But wait, why’re you up early then?” He chuckles, “Because I have had enough sleep.” Satoru got off the fridge and went over to the couches at the centre of the lounge. Light from the fireplace illuminating his face as he watched the fire dance around. “Besides, I felt a bit lonely by myself. I wanted some company y’know?”

You felt your cheeks heat up a little at his words. And you only hummed in response as you sat next to him on the couch with your cup of freshly brewed tea. You quietly sipped on your tea as you both sat there comfortably in silence. Only the gentle noises of fire crackling radiated through the room.

You gently placed your cup down onto the coffee table after you finish your tea. “Is your throat feeling better?” Satoru asked with a tender voice as you set down your cup. You returned him with a nod and a bright smile. “Yeah, much better” You leaned on your seat on the sofa with a sigh. “You’re right, I haven’t been getting enough rest lately. But for some reason, I can’t can any even if I got the time to.” You turned over to look at Satoru when you felt his fingers tenderly comb through your hair. “Me neither” Satoru pulled you closer to him, hand still stroking your hair as a soft smile tugged on his plump, glossy lips. “Try to sleep now.” Your cheeks were practically burning now. And you were hoping that Satoru doesn’t notice how flushed your cheeks were and how fast your heart was beating.

He did but decided to keep quiet about it.

On one hand, you were nervous as hell to be this intimate with Satoru. But on the other hand, this was quite comforting. It was extremely rare to see Satoru acting like this. Usually he'd be all silly like a little child. If only everyone else could see how much of a sweetheart he could be. But for the first time in a long time, you felt yourself peacefully start to drift off to sleep. But right when you were about to close your eyes, Satoru shifted the position to him lying on the couch, with you lying on top of him, legs tangled with each other. Satoru had an arm draped on your waist, keeping you impossibly closer to him. Normally you would’ve mentally squealed from the intimacy, but just this once you let it slide. Besides, Satoru turned out to be a pretty comfortable mattress as well.

With a drowsy voice you spoke “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Satoru’s smile widened at your words. “I already know.” He chuckled lightly, before leaning down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. “Now go to sleep.” And before your body succumbed to slumber, you felt Satoru press one last quick kiss to your forehead.

imagine the other teachers (especially Nanami) walking on you two sleeping on each other the next morning

[lilac-den]

TSR Snippet - A Tired Day

Warning: Contains angsts and self-loathing for MC!

It's been three days since I lost them.

Two nights since I last had a good night's rest.

And merely an hour since the final day of the funeral was over.

The rain is heavy, the air is cold and everything just seems so...numb.

I stare at the doorknob in front of me, connected to my new apartment that Benefactor decided to give me as a gift.

"You don't have a place to live in, right? Just take up this one. Don't worry about rent. Consider this an investment."

I still don't get why ze wants to hire me. But I don't have much in me to question further, nor the choice to refuse the offer. The cops went and turned my old apartment into a crime scene and, because of it, the landlord blames me for the 'mess' and 'noisy ruckus' that she doesn't even let me grab my stuff to properly move out.

"Get out before you get more of my tenants killed!"

I finally gather enough energy to grasp the doorknob and twist it, swinging open the door.

The new apartment is brand new, which is surprising already. There's no odd smell or broken hinges, nor are the flooring and walls marred with past damages from previous tenants or residents.

Everyone would love this place.

I stop just before the flooring and begin pulling my feet out of their shoes.

"Welcome home, [Name]!"

I lift up my head.

But no one is there, no one waiting in front of me.

I squeeze my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose. I must be imagining things.

Even lifting my feet feels so heavy as I take my first step in unfamiliar territory. I don't even make it to the couch. I simply let my body drop onto the floor and let the weight sink me against the wooden surface.

"[Name]! What are you doing?"

I lift my head slightly, eying a familiar pair of feet and legs.

"You shouldn't be sleeping here! Come on, get up. I'm bringing you to bed."

"No..." I wave her off. But her voice persists. I can even tell there's a pout on her somehow, like a faint presence with significant warmth.

"No, you're not going to sleep here!"

Hands wrap around my arm and in that brief moment, I feel bits of warmth. I move my hand to grasp for that warmth.

I only touch my own fingers.

I blink and find myself facing the empty space.

I could have sworn-

I close my eyes and refuse to let that thought go on. I prop myself up with my arms and exhaustively move off of the floor. Feeling particularly heavy, I look down at my clothes, heavily soaked from the rain outside.

Shower.

I close my eyes and sigh. I can imagine Maverick telling me with a stern gaze, more worried about me catching a cold than getting the floor dirty with my drenched self.

I make my way to where I believe the bathroom to be. It is a small apartment, fit for one person. The Benefactor has mentioned there to be two bathrooms - one for guests, the other a personal one.

I step into the bedroom, opting for the personal bathroom. I turn on the lights.

The bedroom isn't much, but it is at least furnished. A king's size bed, a bedroom closet, a window overlooking the night sky and a door of what I imagine to be the bathroom. The walls and floor are in cool colours; not too bright to hurt the eyes nor too dark to be absorbed by it.

It feels so big to stay here.

I continue my walk for the bathroom, my clothes already sticking against my body with its soaked embrace. In spite of my wet state, I move over to the bathroom sink and my face with the water in the hopes it was cold like the one in our previous apartment.

No surprise, it's warm. I raise my head to look at the mirror.

Enid's eyes stare back at me.

Guilt and pain consumes me and I headbutt against the mirror, a resounding crack echoing against the bathroom walls.

Something crimson runs down my face, around my nose and off my chin. My reflection stares back at me, my own eyes blazing.

Why?

Why did it have to be them?

It should have been you, I hear my voice. Whether that's reflection talking or me saying it...I can't even tell anymore.

Then I laugh. I laugh and laugh and laugh as something warm and fresh run down my cheeks while my head tears apart with its wound, the pain my only source of relief in this bleak oblivion.

But the heartache is still there, reminding me of all that I lost.

[meiyudo]

Enigma// ch 16

anakin x reader

a/n: this chapter is a longer one, i have so many plans for the future of this story and there’s gonna be a looot of angst (hope that’s good w u guys hehe)

You finally tell Anakin the news you had been dreading

warnings: cursing, cannon disabled character, insecurity, mentions of pregnancy, arguments, verbal degradation (not the fun kind), slut shaming, alcohol abuse, relapse, mentions of alcoholism, just heavy chapter all around

_______________________________

“Anakin…I’m pregnant” 

He froze.

If you hadn't spent so much time together, you wouldn’t have even noticed the shift in his demeanor, but you knew him and you knew something was wrong.

“What did you say?” he responded stiffly.

You took another deep breath and repeated.

“I’m pregnant, Anakin”

He stood from the couch, blankly staring at you.

“I don’t know how, I thought you said you didn’t- you couldn’t… “ you started, hoping to alleviate his unsettling aura.

“I cant.” he cut you off.

“I don't know what to do, I’m scared!” you cried.

He was still just standing there.

“Please, Ani-, Please say something!” you begged.

“Get out”

“What?” 

“Get out of my house” he repeated.

“Ani-”

“Don’t fucking call me that”

“Anakin, what- why are y-”

“get the fuck out!” he shouted as he pointed towards the exit. 

“You and I know damn well I can’t have children, so that's just heartless to even bring that up to me.” his face held a viscous scowl as he yelled at you. 

“But It’s true! I’ve been to the clinic, I have the-” you pleaded with him. 

“And it wasn’t me, so who the fuck got you pregnant? You aren’t the fuckin’ virgin Mary, so you have to be fucking someone else?” he spat.

“I swear, I have only been with you Anakin, I’ve only been with you” you cried

“Don’t fuckin lie to me, Y/N!”

“I trusted you...I shared myself with you and this? This is what you do?” he yelled as he began to breathe heavily. 

“I’m not lying” you pleaded with him.

“I don’t wanna hear it”

“I’ll get a test, I-I’ll show you all my messages, I-i’ll do whatever, please, PLEASE! I’m telling the truth- You have to believe me!” you were full on sobbing on his living room floor. 

His breathing was becoming jagged and he stumbled back to reach for his inhaler.

“I don’t have to do shit” he said venomously before grappling with the small device in his hands. 

“Ana-”

After he took a large puff of medicine he shouted for you to leave once more.

“I told you to leave, don’t make me throw you out” he said with such disdain.

Even with his limitations, you knew he was strong enough (and angry enough) to do just that. So, weakly, you gathered yourself from the floor and stumbled out of his apartment onto the sidewalk where you collapsed once more. 

You didn’t know what you expected, but it wasn’t that. You clutched onto your shirt and sobbed, not only were you pregnant, you may have just lost the man you loved.

_____________________

The next few days consisted of you floating in and out of reality as you sat absent-mindedly in your classes. You were only getting one meal a day and spent most of your time cocooned in your bed, facing the standard dorm-beige wall.

You didn’t have the energy or the will to do anything…you could feel depression creeping up on you.

Even if you got rid of it, your relationship with Anakin was basically over. But if you kept it you would be stuck as an undergrad student with a baby… not exactly a great way to start your adulthood. 

Ahsoka stopped by to check up on you after she hadn’t heard from you for three days; she came with your favorite snacks and some other stuff to cheer you up. 

The two of you had a self care night and you told her what had happened over the weekend with Anakin (Of course keeping out the fact that he is the one who knocked you up). You told her how angry he was that you were pregnant and not because you were young, instead he was just mad that you had been in a situation to get pregnant.

“Ash, he threw me out… h-he literally threatened to physically throw me out” you cried as you recounted the traumatizing fight.

The tears spilled over as you struggled to breathe, “I jus-st don’t u-understand why he-” a loud sob cut you off.

Quickly Ash gathered you into her arms and coached your breathing.

“Shh, shh, it’s going to be ok… Let’s breathe, ok?” 

You nodded and sniffled.

“Ok, Deep breath in through your nose… good. Now out through your mouth” 

Once you were calmed down she responded to your news. 

Her older friend’s behavior disgusted her, “Y/N im so sorry. Truly, I have no idea what has gotten into him…He has no right to talk to you that way.”

You thanked her for being there for you and tried to move on with the girls' night, you needed to focus on the small bouts of happiness you could find.

The next day, you went ahead and told Ben and Satine, because they were the last two in the friend group you hadn’t told and it covered up the reason you told Anakin (Instead of letting them know you told him asap because he was the father).

Even though he was a total ass, you still wanted to respect the privacy deal the two of you struck back in the beginning of your relationship. Though honestly, you were starting to not give a fuck about the secret; a part of you wanted everyone to know he got you pregnant and was now being a complete asshole about it. 

Days went by and then weeks where you silently hoped for an apology from Anakin, but you knew it wasn’t coming.

Since the confession, he closed himself off from everyone; he no longer attended dinners, texted in the group chat, and you hadn't even physically seen him since then. 

Everyone still got together for the routine dinners, the only difference was that Anakin was a “no-show”. The four of you discussed his recent absences (of course you knew that it was probably because he hated your guts right now, but that was no reason to cut off everyone else), you all worried that he may be drinking again.

Ben explained back when he was first struggling with drinking, he’d disappear like this for days or even weeks, going on unhealthy and reckless benders. 

The more Ben told you about Anakin’s past patterns, you felt more and more sick to your stomach. What he described was wildly unhealthy and you hated that you could be the catalyst that turned him back down that path. 

At the end of the dinner the four of you agreed that Ahsoka would go over to Anakin’s and confront him; Ben and Satine both had work and they thought it best not to send you, incase he was drinking and became violent (plus you didn't think he’d react well to you showing up at his door).

Also, Ahsoka had lots of experience calling Anakin out on his bullshit- she could stand her ground against him drunk or sober. 

Hopefully the group would finally get some answers out of him. 

_____________________________________

Ahsoka arrived and noticed that all of his blinds were drawn and the mail in his box was piled up. 

She took a deep breath; she could already tell this wasn’t going to be good. 

Anakin hollered an aggressive,  “Who is it?”, when he heard the knock. 

“Snipps. I’m comin’ in Sky guy, alright?” she said as she pushed the door open. 

Anakin squinted as the light from outside shone through the doorway; he was lying on the couch in a shirt and a pair of old army shorts and wasn’t wearing his legs. 

Ahsoka gently closed the door behind her and allowed her eyes to adjust to the dimly lit room. It was a mess; dishes all around, dirty clothes scattered on the floor, TV on, and sadly… bottles…all around. 

He relapsed. 

Everyone knew he had been doing really well about keeping his drinking under control, but there were worries of a relapse when no one had heard from him. 

Anakin glanced over to his friend, “I like the new hair, Snipps”.

Ahsoka had her hair rebraided and added more white and blue a while ago. 

“Thanks, It's not that new though, I got them done like two weeks ago. But you wouldn’t have known that, right?” she passive aggressively said.

His blue eyes glared at her as if to say “what the hell did you just say?”.

“Well hello to you too” he huffed as he brought the bottle of rum in his hand to his lips. 

Beside the couch was Anakin’s wheelchair; he usually avoided using it at all costs.

“I didn’t feel like going through the hassle of puttin’ my legs on” he said when he noticed Ahsoka looking at his chair. 

Ever since he could stand to have his legs on, he always wanted to have them on; he never wanted to feel “helpless” and for some reason he was ashamed of his wheelchair. But the fact that he had it out now was a major concern. He wasn’t doing well. 

“Anakin, where have you been?” she sighed defeatedly.

“Uhh, look around, then tell me what you think?” he shot back at her with a patronizing laugh. 

“That’s not what I mean”

“Then enlighten me, what do you mean?” he was getting defensive and irritated, but she was not leaving until she got to the bottom of his sudden absence. 

“We haven’t seen you in weeks. Ben and Satine are worried, so is y/n, and so am I”

“Why would that bitch be worried about me?” he snapped as he tossed the empty bottle into the trash bin beside the couch.

“I know you aren't talking about y/n right now” Ahsoka became defensive and was starting to lose her patience with the man in front of her. 

“Maybe I am, why the fuck would you care if I was?” he said as he cracked open another bottle.

“I heard how awful you were to her”

“Yea. And who’s to say she didn’t deserve it?” he annoyedly stated, rolling his eyes.

“Why are you so upset that y/n is pregnant?! I mean sure she’s young, but it's her life!” Ahsoka yelled at the half drunk man on the couch.

“You wouldn’t understand, Snipps,” Anakin said, resting his head on one of his gloved hands and taking a swig of rum with the other.

“Maker, sometimes you're such an asshole.” Ahsoka huffed. 

“I am not an asshole, she’s the one who fucked up, ok?” he snapped back

Ahsoka narrowed her gaze and watched angrily as Anakin tilted back his bottle once more. 

“You gotta stop with the drinking Anakin.”

“Add it to the list of shit I gotta fix” he huffed out a laugh.

“You were doing so well-”

“Do you not think that I know that? I fucking know I fucked up my sobriety, you don’t have to remind me!” he yelled.

She sighed, “I just don't understand where your aggression is coming from”

“I’m not being aggressive, I’m treating y/n how she deserves to be treated, like the whore she is.”

Ahsoka stomped up to Anakin and snatched the rum out of his mechanical hand.

“What the fuck Ahsoka!?” he yelled.

“You have no right call her a whore, I don’t fucking know what your problem is Anakin Skywalker, but i’ll be damned if I allow you to talk about y/n that way. After all she’s done for you?’.

The color drained from Anakin’s face and he froze.

“Yea. I know she’s come over here to help you, I know she offered to help you when you had to be in your chair that week, I know she helped you when you fucking fell out of bed cause you were too wasted to get up and go piss!! You will not disrespect her like that!! Do not EVER say that again, do you hear me?! ” Ahsoka barked at the man in front of her.

His eyes widened and he shook his head, “Get out”.

“No, I’m going to find out why you’ve been acting like such a dick”

“I said OUT!” He shouted pointing to the door; not that he could really enforce his wish because he wasn’t coordinated enough to get out of his seat. 

“ANAKIN, I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU! YOU ACT LIKE SHE WAS COMMITTING A DELIBERATE ACT AGAINST YOU WHEN SHE GOT PREGNANT” Ahsoka yelled back.

“SHE WAS” he practically screamed.

“What are you talking about?!”

He staid silent and looked away.

“wait…. Anakin…. Do you- do you have a thing for y/n”

Anakin let out an annoyed laugh and rolled his eyes. 

“Anakin, she has a boyfriend”

“I know”

“Then why are you upset? Is it because she’s with someone else?”

“No” 

“Then what is it?” Ahoska pleaded.

“The doctors said I couldn’t have children”

“I know that Anakin, what does that have to do wi-”

“I'm her boyfriend… well was.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened, “what…”

“Yea, fuckin surprise. So it is a personal attack on me ‘casue how the fuck did she get pregnant if I cant have kids?” he lamented with a sad smug look.

Ahsoka shook her head, “Anakin, I think you should get your fertility checked again-”.

“Are you serious right now Ahsoka? Do you even hear what you're asking?”

Ahsoka’s face was serious as she spoke, “yes, it has been years since-”

“Do you not remember what happened last time? What happened with P-” his voice began to waver as he remembered the heartbreak of his last relationship, “Padme”.

“I remember, but I know for a fact y/n has not been with anyone else. She loves you. So much Anakin, and honestly I don’t know how she deals with you”. 

“You don’t know that-”

“Yes I fucking do, I was there to see how much your words affected her. I was there to help her breathe when she was choking on her own tears. I saw a girl whose heart had just been shattered. Why would she be that upset if she wasn’t committed to you?”

Anakin’s heart fell.

Fuck.

A wave of guilt washed over him, maybe he was too quick to judge… but the doctors.. They said..

“I-I don't know what to say” he managed.

“You've said plenty, Skywalker.”

“Could you please tell her-”

“No Anakin. I’m done running interference for your fuck-ups” she said as she headed for the exit.

“Ahsoka…” Anakin called, attempting to follow her; in his drunken haze, he must have forgotten he didn't have his legs on. 

She turned as he landed on the floor with a thud. He groaned and he tried to get upright.

Ahsoka was still angry, but she knew he needed help. 

When she sat him up, he was sobbing.

“Fuck. Snipps, I loved her. I-I just felt like- like she- fuck!” he cried.

“You’re drunk, Anakin. I’m going to put you in bed and spend the night on the pull-out, but we’re done talking about this until you sober up and get a test”

He was shaking, but nodding his head “o-ok-ok o-ok” he repeated.

Ahsoka was drained, on one hand she knew why he was like this and as she helped him to bed all she saw was the kind hearted boy she grew up with. She saw how emotionally damaged he was, she knew how hard he had it. But that was no excuse to act the way he did; the other half of her was disgusted by his behavior and the fact that he spoke to you that way. 

She decided that she was making him an appointment tomorrow morning. No excuses.

___________________________________

The ride to the doctor’s office was silent, the only sound was Anakin’s occasional ragged breath from a night of crying. They arrived and Anakin was taken back to an examination room, but not before Ahsoka insisted he ask for a fertility test.

Anakin hated medical facilities, whether it be hospitals, doctors offices, orthotics offices, or the physio center; he had spent almost half his life in those goddamn places. He sat patiently for his examination and was compliant with his doctor's inquiries. 

“Do you have any more questions, Mr. Skywalker?” the doctor asked as he straightened his wiry glasses.

Anakin debated asking such an odd question at the moment, but he wouldn’t have peace of mind unless he asked (plus Ahsoka would kill him if he didn’t). 

“Yea… you know my results said I wouldn’t be able to have kids”

The doctor nodded as he met his patient’s eyes, “yes… are you inquiring about children?”

"Not really, but is it possible that some of me is still…viable?” his face was surely red with embarrassment.

“If you are asking me about the fertility possibilities for your sperm, we have a test for that, but you’d have to make an appointment at our clinic for fertility and It’ll cost a bit extra but we will be able to get the results back to you in a few weeks.”

“Could I-”

“Of course” the man in the white coat said as he promptly left the room.  

Anakin leaned back against the wall and exhaled a large breath. Fuck. Was he really going to do this again?

He could remember the anxiety he felt when going into that clinic for the first time with Padme all those years ago; the fate of his relationship was on the line back then. 

Now, he had ended his relationship with you but deep down he prayed that he would be able to have kids because the possibility of you cheating on him was tearing him apart. He wanted to believe you wouldn’t do that to him, but he wasn’t really counting on his viability– but after years of no activity, why now would they choose to become active?

But also he didn’t know how he would face you if he were viable…how would he make it up to you after treating you like…that?

***

a/n: next chapter comes after this in the theme line then imma do a small time jump to get to another plot point haha- i hope you guys are still enjoying!!

taglist : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana @imarimon

[prismaticpichu]

HIIIIII PICHU

Question!! Do you like sickfics?? (I have my fair share of them posted its my weakness ajsjaqjwj). If so, I would love to see your take at one. How about for mini prompt/drabble/headcanon Zack with appendicitis and Sephy taking care of him? 💙 Just imagining Sephiroth realizing something is wrong with him before anyone else and treating him so gently 😭

Shshdjdjsjsh AHHHHHHH!!!! THE FEELS!!! 💕💕💕

As a matter of fact, I do like sickfics!! <333 (And have had the pleasure of reading your adorable ones, my friend!) I’ve actually managed to accumulate a few myself: Priorities, Delirium, and Guard Dog are all fics I’ve written that fall under the fic of sick genre (although Guard Dog is admittedly a little old; I think I was only in, like, 8th-ish grade 😂❤️).

Tysm for the adorable prompt, my friend!! I’ll give it my best shot!

It was the second longest time Sephiroth had ever waited in the medical wing.

The doctors had told him to get up—to stretch his legs, to get some fresh air, to at the very least get something to eat as he waited for his lieutenant to regain consciousness. Only the last he had relented to. And even then, it was to a very slim degree: a nibble from the vending machine, something cheap from the mess hall, a bite of an energy bar… Something about the idea of eating just seemed so cruel, so unbelievably wrong. How he could sit here and eat, when the last thing Zack had eaten hadn’t been able to stay in his stomach? When he wouldn’t be able to eat comfortably for over twenty-four hours?

Sephiroth shifted in his chair, half-filled wrappers crinkling in his coat as he leaned against the arm, green eyes almost burning as he continued to stare at the mummified figure in the gauzy hospital linen.

Zack…

He first noticed something was wrong when the young SOLDIER refused to eat. Zack was always hungry, he knew that much about his friend, and to see him sitting across from him idly picking at his food was an immediate cause for concern. Upon asking him what was wrong, Zack had expressed concern about his stomach. That it “felt funky”, and that he even had a bit of a headache. The explanation—as far as his naïveté had been concerned—was enough to soothe most of his worry, and Sephiroth had simply chalked it up to a bout of anxiety. Zack did have an upcoming solo mission, after all, and things had become rather tumultuous with newfound sightings of Wutain spies in the area. Appetite lost was a common symptom for such uncertainty.

Satisfied with his own explanation, Sephiroth told the boy not to worry.

Neither thought his appendix would burst that very evening.

Leather fingers tightened heir hold on the chair, and Sephiroth strained his eyes, keeping them shut as the ambush of guilt and regret and anger rushed up to greet him with an almost warlike fervor.

…The man’s heart had nearly stopped upon getting the call that night that Zack was in the infirmary. It was standard protocol for one’s superior officer to be notified when they fell ill or were injured, but that didn’t do anything to whittle the dagger when the horrid information reached Sephiroth’s ears. It didn’t do anything to lessen the agony—the sting, the phantom of memory that came crashing back like a virus reborn from a newfound strain of infection.

He was down in the infirmary in minutes, and he hadn’t left since.

~~~

“Am I hurting you…?”

The words were soft and tender as Sephiroth eased his friend down onto the couch, unable to shake off the crushing feeling that he was jostling Zack’s wounds despite carrying him as gingerly as he could. But a feeble shake of the black spikes assured him or otherwise.

“Naw…” Zack’s voice was still groggy from the anesthetics. “I’m fine. Thanks, bud.”

Sephiroth had alredy pulled a blanket over the aching First. “Are you feeling any discomfort?”

“…Hungry. Can I eat?”

Sephiroth shook his head, silver bangs swaying gently with apology. “Not until tomorrow. Here.” He handed him a cup of fresh water. “Hydrate.”

Zack gratefully accepted the drink, swishing it down in a single gulp, although it was clear as he set it down that it wasn’t what he exactly wanted.

“Man…” Zack grumbled sleepily to his stomach, then glanced up with pleading, doelike eyes. “I really can’t get something to eat?”

“You heard what the doctor said.” Sephiroth sat at the edge of the sofa.

“Yeah… but I’m here now!” Zack gave an innocent look.

Sephiroth gave him a Look in return.

“I’m not disobeying the medics,” he said sternly, but his visage softened as he added: “…I promised them I would take care of you.”

Something in the green eyes flickered, and he scooted closer to Zack, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder.

“…And I promised you.”

…

“We can keep him here for the rest of the night, Sir. He needs the rest after the procedure—and we can only imagine that you’re quite busy.”

Sephiroth felt the hand around his tighten at the doctor’s words, glancing down to see a ghost of concern flickering across Zack’s half-conscious face. From the moment he’d begun to stir Zack had been mumbling his name, asking the doctors where “Seph” was amid his delirium. They were confused at the nickname—as anyone would be, given who it was bestowed upon—but Sephiroth hadn’t had the mind to explain Zack’s quirks to the medics. All he could do was reach out, letting the doctors watch with their feebly-disguised gaping eyes as he clutched Zack’s hand and assured him that he was right here.

And now, as unintentional as it might have been, the doctors had just implied that he was too busy to look after his own treasured friend.

“…No,” Sephiroth said softly, glancing up to meet the doctor’s still-startled gaze. “…I will bring him in. Thank you.”

…

By the time Sephiroth reined himself back to the present, Zack’s eyes were beginning to droop, a heavy fatigue eclipsing the just-immediate hunger in his eyes.

He yawned.

“…Exhausted?” Sephiroth allowed a vague smile to play on his lips.

“J’us a lil’…”

A small chuckle rippling in his chest, Sephiroth eased himself off the couch to give his friend some space, reaching over to tuck the quilt around his shoulders before extinguishing the den lamps.

“Get some rest…” he said gently, straightening up again. “I’ll be right here.”

…I promise.

[sleekervae]

New York Romantic 1.4

Masterlist

pairing: Tom Blyth x ballerina!oc

summary: tom returns to england for the summer

word count: 4,191

taglist: @watercolorskyy @carolanns-world @alana4610

They sat side by side on the fire escape, legs dangling over the iron grates as the warm Manhattan night stretched out before them. Neon lights flickered in the distance, and the rumble of city traffic created a soft, endless backdrop. Noelle hugged her knees close, glancing sideways at Tom. The city lights reflected in his eyes, a quiet glow against the usual sparkle in his gaze.

“Do you think you’ll ever want to go home?” she asked, her voice just loud enough to carry over the hum of the street below.

Tom hesitated, looking down as he thought it over. “Maybe,” he said softly. “It’s hard to imagine leaving New York, but… I think about England sometimes.”

She smiled, nudging him with her shoulder. “I’d want to see you there. You’d blend in so well with the fog and cobblestones,” she teased.

Tom laughed, but his gaze was intent. “If I ever did go back, I’d want you to come with me.” He lifted a hand, tracing invisible lines in the air as if sketching out the life he imagined. “I’d show you London, the side of it you don’t see in movies—the old pubs and quiet alleyways, places I’d wander when I needed to think.”

She tilted her head, the idea filling her with a quiet thrill. “And York?”

“Oh, especially York,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “You’d love it. The city walls, the narrow, winding streets, little teahouses and bookshops tucked in every corner. And the countryside… it’s like stepping into a story.”

She could hear the wistfulness in his voice, the way he painted each image like it was part of a secret world only he knew. “That sounds beautiful,” she murmured, imagining herself beside him in each scene.

Tom’s hand brushed over hers, his fingers threading through hers in a way that felt like a promise. He looked at her then, his expression both hopeful and unsure. “Maybe it’s silly, but it’s hard to picture it without you there.”

Noelle’s chest tightened, and she gave his hand a small squeeze. “If I had the funds,” she added with a laugh, glancing out at the city lights, “I’d be right beside you on that plane.”

Tom’s smile softened, his gaze resting on her profile as she took in the view. "I can still stuff you in my carry-on, if you want." he jested.

Noelle let out a soft laugh, nudging him playfully with her shoulder. “Oh, sure. I’ll just curl up next to your shampoo bottle and pray TSA doesn’t notice.”

He grinned, leaning closer. “You’d make a pretty convincing carry-on item. I’d tell them you’re an exotic import.”

“From Maine?” she raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Sure, they’d buy that. I’ll just work on my British accent, tell them I’m smuggling myself back to the homeland.”

Tom chuckled, the sound soft against the hum of the city around them. “Pretty sure I could get you through, no problem.”

“You're so kind,” she teased, resting her head on his shoulder. “But be careful. You might actually end up having to follow through with that plan someday.”

Tom looked down at her, his face softening. “I’ll find a way,” he whispered, and in that moment, she almost believed him.

The days leading up to Tom’s departure slipped by faster than Noelle had anticipated. Each one felt like sand sifting through her fingers, a countdown she couldn’t control but felt with every beat of her heart. They filled their time as best they could: late-night walks through the city that hummed with energy, quiet mornings spent on his fire escape, sipping coffee in a comfortable silence, his shoulder brushing against hers. They wandered every pocket of Manhattan they hadn’t yet explored together, turning even the smallest moments into memories she knew she’d hold onto while he was gone.

Some days they’d find themselves tangled on his couch, his arm around her waist as they laughed through some old movie he swore she needed to see. Other times, they’d be in her kitchen, where she tried, with mixed success, to teach him to cook. He’d grin sheepishly as he chopped onions too thick or stirred a sauce that was seconds from burning. She pretended to scold him, their laughter filling her kitchen, and though his final attempts were far from perfect, it didn’t matter—the way he looked at her when she tasted his dish made her wish this summer wouldn’t come so quickly.

He’d only be gone for the summer. She told herself that every night, letting it echo like a mantra. Just for the summer, just until August, when they’d be back in the same city, back to the familiar. But already, the weeks ahead felt emptier than she’d expected. She kept trying to imagine the days stretching without him, the absence like a faint outline around everything, making her wish the fall semester would hurry up and arrive.

Tom’s suitcase lay half-open on the floor, already stuffed to the brim with clothes and scattered items he’d tried—and mostly failed—to fit in. Noelle stretched out across his bed, propped up on her elbows, watching as he attempted to zip the bag shut, laughing as he pushed down on it with his whole body.

“You’re really risking your entire wardrobe exploding in the middle of JFK,” she teased, folding her arms. “It’s impressive, actually.”

He flashed her a grin, half-exasperated, half-amused. “Well, if it does, that’ll just mean I’ve gotta show up to set in, like, pajamas or something. But hey, maybe that’ll give me an edge.”

She raised an eyebrow, and he took a breath, pausing to sit beside her on the bed. “The whole thing’s kind of… scrappy,” he admitted, leaning back against the headboard. “You know, tight budget, limited crew. We’re basically just a few people running around old buildings, hoping no one catches us.” He laughed, but there was a spark in his eyes she recognized—a rare excitement. “I’ll probably be holding the mic myself half the time, but it’s… it’s the type of thing I’d watch if I came across it.”

“Scrappy suits you,” she said softly, her fingers tracing small patterns across his blanket. “It’s exactly the kind of project you’ve always talked about doing, right? Not some overproduced blockbuster.”

He looked over at her, his expression shifting to something softer. “Exactly,” he nodded, leaning closer, and for a moment, they just sat there, the silence stretching comfortably between them. “But,” he added, his voice almost a murmur, “I’m gonna miss this. You. A lot.”

She felt her heart skip, the weight of his words settling between them. She’d spent days pretending it wouldn’t be hard when he left, but now, lying here on his bed, so close yet almost feeling the distance already, her resolve faltered.

“I’ll be waiting to hear every single detail when you’re back,” she whispered, forcing a smile to cover the ache building inside her. “Even the embarrassing bits.”

Tom chuckled, reaching over to brush a stray strand of hair from her face. “I promise there’ll be plenty.”

Noelle nodded, a playful glint sparked in her eye as she cocked her head, “So… are there any spicy scenes in it?” she asked, trying to sound casual as she plucked at his pillow.

Tom’s face flushed immediately, and he scratched the back of his neck, a nervous chuckle slipping out. “Spicy? You mean -- like...? Uh… I mean… maybe? I’m not really sure. We haven’t gone through the full rundown yet,” he mumbled, looking everywhere but at her, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. “I… I didn’t ask.”

Noelle grinned, biting her lip to keep from laughing. “Oh, you didn’t ask?” She propped herself up on one elbow, watching him with a growing smile. “Well, if there is, you better hope they don’t pair you with some drop-dead gorgeous movie star. Wouldn’t want you getting all flustered and forgetting your lines.” She raised her eyebrows, giving him a teasing smile that made his ears go even pinker.

“Oh, you mean someone like you?” he said, running a hand over his face as he tried to smother his own grin.

“Do I distract you, Tom?” She asked with a satisfied smile. The blush was still there on his cheeks, and she swore she’d never seen him look so endearingly flustered. She loved it—watching him stumble, his usual easy confidence thrown just a bit off-kilter.

Finally, Tom shook his head, shooting her a look that was both exasperated and undeniably soft. “You’re going to make this whole thing so hard to leave, you know that?”

She sighed, stretching out on the bed like she owned it, her head nestled into his pillow as she gazed up at him. “Good. That’s the plan, anyway,” she said with a playful shrug, fingers absently tracing circles on the fabric of his bedspread. “Gotta give you a reason to hurry back.”

Tom looked down at her, taking in the soft curves of her smile, the way her fingers seemed to fit so naturally against the folds of his life here. He leaned over, his hand brushing a stray strand of hair from her forehead. "Trust me," he murmured, voice a little hoarse, "I already have a million reasons.”

He let his hand linger at her temple, fingers grazing the edge of her jaw as he looked at her, something tender and steady in his eyes. Her breathing hitched, barely noticeable, but he felt it, and it pulled him closer, made his hand settle on her cheek, thumb tracing the softness of her skin.

Noelle’s eyes fluttered, her fingers finding their way to his shirt, curling into the fabric. She didn’t say a word, but the look she gave him—so open, so full of that same quiet, relentless pull—was more than enough.

Tom leaned in, closing the small space between them, and when their lips met, it was like the last piece falling into place. The kiss was slow, deliberate, his mouth moving over hers in a way that made every second feel stretched and sweet. His hand slipped behind her neck, holding her to him as he shifted, letting himself sink down, his weight pressing her into the mattress.

He broke the kiss just long enough to catch his breath, to see her flushed and bright-eyed beneath him, but it was like gravity pulling him back. He kissed her again, softer this time, savoring every inch, every warm press of her lips against his.

Noelle’s hands slid up to his shoulders, fingers threading through his hair, and he could feel her smiling beneath him, her heartbeat a steady rhythm under his touch. For a while, they just lay there tangled together, his forehead resting against hers, breathing her in, the thought of tomorrow and his flight so far away it barely even felt real. All he could think about was her—her warmth, her laugh, the way she felt in his arms, the way this felt more like home than any place he’d ever known.

Tom's first days back in England were a blur, the early mornings and late nights blending into one another. Jet lag had him feeling simultaneously wired and exhausted, his body unsure of whether it should be asleep or awake. But there was no time for rest; he hit the ground running, diving straight into filming *Scott and Sid* with the low-budget crew.

The grey skies of London welcomed him back, the crisp air and familiar sights of home a comforting contrast to the chaos of the movie set. Tom found himself strangely energized by the scrappy determination of the crew, their passion for the project infectious. The hours were long, filled with rewrites and reshoots, but there was a sense of camaraderie that he hadn't experienced since leaving England.

Yet, in every quiet moment between takes, Tom's thoughts drifted back to Noelle. Her absence was a constant ache, and he wondered what she was up to at times.

Noelle couldn't believe how quickly the summer was passing by. It felt like just yesterday she had been counting down the days until Tom's return, and now he had been back in England for over a month. She missed him terribly, but tried not to let it consume her thoughts.

She had settled into a comfortable routine in Maine, spending her days at the beach with her family and catching up with old friends. Her friend Bianca was always there to keep her company, teasing her about Tom in that knowing, big-sister way. Noelle would blush and laugh it off, but she couldn't deny that she found herself constantly checking her phone for any messages from Tom or re-reading their past conversations.

Despite trying to distract herself with summer activities, Noelle's mind often drifted back to Tom and their time together in New York. She wondered what he was doing at that very moment and if he was also thinking of her. But she didn't want to be too clingy or seem too eager, so she tried to play it cool and not reach out too often.

One day, as she lounged on the beach with Bianca, Noelle's phone beeped with a message from Tom. Her heart skipped a beat as she eagerly opened it.

"Proper geek." it read, above it was a picture of Tom in his full costume — brushed hair, a pair of thin-rimmed glasses and a blue school uniform sweater. He was making a goofy face and giving her a thumbs up.

A smile spread across Noelle's face as she typed back, "Absolutely adorable."

But as much as they missed each other, neither of them wanted to rush into anything or put pressure on their relationship. They knew that long distance was hard and they didn't want to make any promises they couldn't keep.

Noelle sighed contently as she watched the waves crash against the shore. She was grateful for this peaceful moment and for having someone like Tom in her life. Despite the distance between them, their connection only seemed to grow stronger.

Their lives wove in and out of each other, connected by texts and late-night calls, each one holding a piece of the other in their days. Tom would send her snapshots from the film set—sometimes ridiculous selfies of him in costume or somewhere on location, or little glimpses of the English countryside that looked like something out of a storybook. She’d send back photos of sunsets over the ocean, snapshots of her goofing around with Bianca, and the classic Maine lobsters that were bigger than her head.

Each night as he finally fell into bed, Tom found himself missing her more. But there was a warmth to it, a quiet comfort in knowing that come August they would be back in the same city again.

For now, they just carried each other in these little ways, savoring each small piece of the summer they were spending apart.

One afternoon, during a break on set, Tom sat on the edge of a wooden crate, his phone in hand as he typed a quick message to Noelle. He grinned to himself, re-reading her last text—a playful complaint about Bianca trying to set her up with the summer lifeguard as a joke.

“Oi! Who’s got you smiling like that, then?” Richard, his co-star, appeared beside him, raising a brow with a knowing grin.

Tom looked up, caught a bit off guard, but his smile didn’t waver. “Oh, it’s... my girlfriend," he replied.

Richard raised a brow, "You got yourself a girl? How come you never mentioned her?" he asked.

Tom shrugged back, "I don't know. We've been busy. She's back in Maine right now so... I miss her. I try to talk to her as much as I can."

“Maine? An American girl?” Richard chuckled, leaning against the crate. “Well, let’s see her then. You’ve got a picture, yeah?”

Tom hesitated for a moment, feeling an odd sense of protectiveness, but the warmth of Noelle’s face on his screen drew him in. He unlocked his phone, scrolling through his camera roll until he found one of his favorite pictures of her—a shot he’d taken on his last day in New York. She was sitting on a bench in the park, hair catching in the late afternoon sun, laughing at something he’d said. Her eyes were bright, her smile genuine, and he remembered feeling like that moment was burned into his memory.

“Here,” he said, handing the phone over.

Richard took the phone and stared at the screen, a slow smile spreading across his face. “She’s beautiful, mate. Got that all-American look,” he teased, though Tom could tell he was genuinely impressed. “You two look good together.”

Tom’s cheeks warmed, but he nodded, glancing down at his hands. “Yeah. She’s… she’s something special. Feels like I got pretty damn lucky.”

Richard handed the phone back, giving Tom a knowing look. “So, what’s the plan then? You sticking around in America with her after all this?”

Tom blinked, taken off guard. “I don’t know… I haven’t really thought that far,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s early, you know? We’ve only been together a few months.”

Richard nodded slowly, though his gaze was still steady, like he was weighing Tom’s words. “Yeah, early,” he echoed, a hint of a grin tugging at his lips. “But you don’t look at her like it’s early. More like you’re already thinking about the next five years.”

Tom let out a small laugh, trying to brush it off, but he couldn’t shake the flutter in his chest. He’d spent so much time thinking about the present with Noelle, about every text, every late-night call, her voice and laughter and the way she made him feel grounded and alive all at once. Thinking about them long-term… it was a new thought, one he wasn’t ready to dive into. But still, it stayed with him.

“Maybe,” he murmured, a bit quieter. “Maybe it could be something that lasts.” He looked back at Richard, a small, uncertain smile on his face. “Guess we’ll just have to see.”

Richard clapped him on the shoulder again, giving him a nod of approval. “Well, whatever happens, don’t let a good thing slip away. You’ve got something rare there.”

As they headed back to set, Tom’s thoughts drifted. Long-term, he mused. It felt almost surreal, but the more he thought about it, the more the idea of a future with Noelle settled into something that felt natural—like an unspoken promise waiting to be made.

The sun was starting to dip lower in the sky as Noelle, Bianca, and Chiara strolled through the heart of Bar Harbor. Everywhere they looked, storefronts and streetlamps were decked out in red, white, and blue. Families passed by holding little American flags, vendors set up tents with hot dogs and ice cream, and kids ran around with sparklers as if the fireworks had already started.

As they rounded a corner, they stumbled upon a group of re-enactors in costume, some dressed as American revolutionaries and others as British soldiers. The “colonists” were reciting lines from the Declaration of Independence in overly dramatic tones, while the “British” soldiers replied with equally over-the-top disdain. The British accents were… something. Noelle winced as one guy in a red coat threw his arm over his head and bellowed, “Hoo-w dare yew betray the King!”

Chiara stifled a laugh, then nudged Noelle. “Would Tom find this offensive?”

“Oh, 100%,” Noelle chuckled, picturing Tom’s face if he were here. He wouldn't say anything outright, but she could imagine he'd make a couple wayward comments in her ear.

“You should video this shit,” Bianca grinned, pulling out her phone. “I mean, they’re going all in with the terrible accents -- and the hair! It's so bad!”

Noelle laughed, already composing a mental message. She knew Tom would roll his eyes and probably have some choice words for the wayward “Brits,” but she also knew he’d secretly love it. It was the kind of thing they’d laugh about later, swapping stories about all the silly, small-town quirks in each other’s worlds.

As they continued down the bustling streets of Bar Harbor, Chiara glanced over at Noelle, her curiosity piqued. "So, when’s Tom coming back?" she asked, her tone light but with a subtle hint of something else, like she was trying to piece together something Noelle hadn’t said yet.

Noelle let out a soft sigh, adjusting the strap of her bag as she answered. "Some time next month. He has to be back in time for second year."

Chiara nodded, though her eyes stayed focused on Noelle, as if waiting for her to say more. But when Noelle didn’t, Chiara pushed forward, her voice quieter now. “Are you going to move to England with him when school's done?”

Noelle blinked, the question catching her off guard. “What?” she asked, a little confused.

Bianca, who had been listening to the conversation while scrolling through her phone, looked up at Noelle. Chiara continued, though there was a touch of something almost protective in her tone. “Well, it’s just that… I mean, you’ve been talking about him nonstop. You obviously care about him, Noelle. It’s not too far-fetched to think you might want to, you know, be with him when you're done uni.”

Noelle shrugged, not quite sure how to explain herself. She hadn’t really thought about it like that. Tom was in England, and she was in New York—one of those things had to give eventually, right? But even if she did want to be with him, she didn’t want to be that person who just followed him around because it was easy. She wanted to figure out her own life, too.

“I don’t know," she said, her words coming out slower, as if she was still working through it herself. "I just think… I don’t want to rush into anything. We’ve only been dating a few months. And there’s a whole lot I need to figure out first.”

Chiara raised an eyebrow, a playful grin spreading across her face. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t want to move to England with a guy like him? You could see the Queen every day!”

Noelle’s lips twitched into a smile, though it was bittersweet. “I don’t think that's how it works, Chiara. Maybe I’d love to. But I think it’s more about figuring out where I'm going. What I want. I don’t want to just go where the wind blows.”

Bianca’s gaze hardened as she glanced at Noelle, her tone shifting from gentle to something sharper. “Look, Noelle, let’s be real here,” she said, her words cutting through the air. “If you and Tom are both serious about your careers—especially if we're getting scouted for NY Ballet—you won’t have time for each other. Not like you think you will. Long-distance? It’s hard, and that’s assuming you both even have the energy to keep it going with everything on your plate.”

Noelle’s heart clenched at Bianca’s words, the cold reality of them hitting harder than expected. She didn’t want to admit it, but part of her knew Bianca was right. With all the competition and hard work it would take to make it in ballet, would there even be time to maintain a relationship with Tom? Would he even have the space to stay committed when his own career was taking off?

Bianca continued, her voice a little less forgiving now. “You really think he’s going to stay in the same place, waiting around for you? You’re both young, and England's got a big film industry too. You’ve got your dreams, but you also have to face reality. People change, and careers don’t slow down for anyone.” She gave Noelle a pointed look, almost daring her to disagree.

Noelle felt a tight knot form in her chest, but she refused to let Bianca’s words unravel her completely. She wasn’t sure how to respond—she knew that Bianca could be so blunt, so… harsh. But she couldn’t just ignore the undercurrent of truth in what she said either.

“You’re not wrong,” Noelle muttered, her eyes tracing the cobblestone street. She felt the weight of Bianca’s words sink into her chest, making her chest tighten even more.

But there was still a part of her, stubborn and maybe a little naive, that refused to believe everything had to be so black-and-white. “But I’m not giving up on him or on me, Bianca. We’ll figure it out. If it’s worth it, we’ll make it work. Even if it’s hard.”

Bianca didn’t reply immediately, but her eyes softened, almost reluctantly. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Noelle. It’s easy to romanticize things, but reality has a way of crashing down. Just be careful, okay?”

Noelle nodded, though her mind was swirling with the uncertainty of what the future would hold. She didn’t know how everything would turn out—hell, she didn’t even know if Tom would be happy to come back at the end of the summer. But for now, she wasn’t ready to give up on what they had. It was too early after all, and for the first time in a long time, she truly felt happy.

[literaryfandomangel]

The Promise - Chapter Twenty-Nine

Unfortunately, our summer came to an end as the dawning of the school year occurred. That meant that I couldn’t spend as much time with the guys, just a few hours because I needed sleep. Thankfully, I was able to spend most of Friday and Saturday nights with them since I could sleep in the next day. 

Within three months of being in Santa Carla, I was gaining weight, steadily. I was actually eating, had an appetite. I was now around 105.4 pounds. Mom and the four guys were extremely proud of my progress, always full of praise whenever I would eat something. 

Sam kept insisting that it was strange that my boyfriends couldn’t pick me up from school. He would wave the Vampire Comic underneath my nose at every chance he could get. I always fluffed off his reasoning of vampirism, though, I couldn’t deny it was weird. One day, I stole his comic and read about the living dead Sam was obsessed with. It was an interesting read, but I’ve seen all four guys eat garlic, no one had to count rice if it spilled before them, and I’d seen their faces in my bureau mirror. 

One Friday night in October, they were taking me home after we had fun on the town. All the midterms had sucked the life out of me, therefore, they wanted me to be able to do something fun. Instead of constantly studying. Though, the four guys were able to help me with studying my senior classes. 

Shockingly, Marko was the best at helping me with mathematics. He was patient while he explained the formulas. Sometimes, he'd smirk as I'd get lost in my thoughts while staring at his head of golden curls, but Marko was an excellent tutor. With Marko's help in understanding the formulas and reviewing the homework, my grades in math rose. David's specialty was science class! He loved to read the chapters before the work. Then, if I had any questions about the homework, David would explain the situation. Dwayne loved reviewing my literature assignments, though it was more debates about the latest books. Paul, well, he helped with history. By help, I mean he would stand in the cave and do inaccurate monologues about the most outrageous situations in history. Dwayne would roll his eyes, shoving the blonde with the wild hair, while I fell off the couch, dying of laughter. 

Even though I knew these four were cruel to others outside their circle, they were totally sweet towards me. I'd seen David threaten a group of Surf Nazis, the sound of his voice causing my blood to curdle, then he would turn towards me with a faint smile and gentle touches. Marko was one of the cruelest, I'd come to learn. I watched Marko bash a kid in the head with a napkin holder just for commenting about me. Marko laughed the entire time the kid cried, holding his hands to the bleeding gash on his forehead.  

Regardless of how my blood curdled in those terrifying minutes, my heart warmed every time they turned their gentle caresses onto my skin. I knew how deadly their touch could be; it only proved they felt something for me. Not one of the guys had ever touched me in anger; David had snapped a few times but apologized profusely. 

I had fun just losing myself in one night of no studying. Mom told me to leave the house and have fun, but she took my bag. She said I didn't need to take any textbooks with me tonight, and Paul had whooped, kissing Mom's cheek. Therefore, that night had been filled with fun, laughter, and going on rides. Even though the tourist season was over, it was still warm enough that most amusement rides were open. 

Once we had arrived at Grandpa's house, the guys cut the engines to their bikes. David was the first at my side, offering a gloved hand to help me down from Marko's bike. I leaned down to gently kiss Marko, and then Paul swooped in like the whirlwind of energy he encapsulated. Dwayne waited his turn before David captured my lips in his smug smile curving against mine. Unfortunately, I was so lost in their company and touched that I didn't even notice the Volvo in the front yard until it was too late. 

"ARIA ELIZABETH EMERSON!" I drew back from Marko, who had once again planted a kiss on my lips, fear washing over my body. I knew that voice - it was my father. I gulped as he glared at the group from the porch, Mom hovering behind him. She was wringing her hands in anxiety, knowing that Dad wasn't going to accept this relationship. "You let her kiss a group of guys?"

"Robert, it's fine. They love her," Mom tried to reason with Dad, but he just shrugged off her hand. I slunk back, trying to hide behind David. The four guys had picked up on my fear but couldn't challenge my father without giving away what they were. They also didn't want to hurt my father, even though he was angering the predators in front of him. 

"Get in the house!" My dad roared, reaching around David. He grabbed me roughly by the coat and pulled me away from the safety of my four guys. "And you four - never come back here again!" My father shoved me into the house. I heard the four men growl before my father slammed the house door so hard the windows shook. 

"Dad!" Sam protested, standing at the top of the stairs, hearing the commotion. "She's fine. Leave her alone!"

"Sam, get back to your room," my dad pointed at my baby brother. I nodded to Sam to listen before wrapping my arms around my body. "You. . .You two!"

"Robert, this is my home," Grandpa opened the door to his taxidermy room, glaring at my father. I sent him a grateful smile at his intervention. 

"My daughter won't act like a whore! You are letting her get passed around by four bikers," Dad shook angrily, pointing his finger at my mother as if it were her fault. "She's coming home to Phoenix."

"Daddy!" I protested, tears welling inside my eyes. "I love them!"

"Robert, you can't do that!" Mom protested as I felt the tears spill from my eyes. "You signed away all your rights!"

"I will go to the courts tomorrow and demand both the kids, Lucy," Dad threatened, and my heart sank. "Or I can just take Aria and return to Phoenix."

"Mom," I said, voice soft. I knew what needed to happen. I needed to return with Dad to Phoenix. "I'll be back for Christmas, yeah?"

"Honey," Mom wrapped me in her arms, shaking her head. 

"You best be packed and ready to leave by the day after tomorrow," Dad pointed a finger at me. "I mean it." With that, Dad swept out of the house, his car pulling away. I started to cry in earnest, feeling as if my world had shifted again. 

"Mom, the guys!" I whimpered, feeling my heart crack at the thought of having to leave them. 

"I know, baby," Mom rocked me in her arms, trying to comfort me. "You can write me letters, okay? I'll make sure that Max gives them to his sons."

"I've never felt like this about anyone," I whispered, knowing that what I felt was love. My mom nodded her head, understanding. She wasn't judgmental about the relationship, having witnessed how the four men treated me. They treated me, her daughter as if I were a Queen. A priceless artifact under heavy surveillance at a national museum. A tomb of unopened treasure worth billions. 

"I'll help you sneak out tomorrow," Mom promised, pressing kisses to my hairline. I nodded, detaching from Mom both physically and mentally. 

"I'm going to bed," my voice felt wooden, tongue too thick. I started up the stairs, looking down at the place I felt was my home. It felt more like I belonged in Santa Carla than I had living in Phoenix. I dragged my body up the stairs and went into my room. 

"Princess," I heard Dwayne's velvety voice say, and I jumped. As I looked up, I saw all four men I loved sitting around my room. I didn't question how they managed to sneak into my room; I was just grateful to see all four of them.  

"Dwayne!" I wailed, crashing into his body, tears streaming down his naked chest. He hummed, speaking to me in his native tongue, Navajo, I believe. Marko slammed into my back, running his hands through my hair, obviously in distress as well. 

"We'll kidnap you," Paul declared, a frown on his face, once I had stopped crying. I was lying on the bed, head on Dwayne's chest. 

"My dad would find me," I shook my head, even though my heart ached for that scenario. To be kidnapped by the four men I loved, spending all my time with them. "I don't want him to take Sammy back. It will kill Mom. She's already going to be in pain without one kid; she needs at least one of us."

"Are you certain?" David asked, flicking his cigarette butt out of the window. He crouched by the bed, tracing my delicate features with his pale fingers. "We could make him disappear."

"Of course," I giggled, shaking my head. "My big, bad bikers."

"You know it, baby," Marko grinned, head on my shins. I rolled my eyes before letting out a sigh. 

"It'll be okay," I sighed, sounding upset even to my ears. "Mom said she'd bring letters from me to Max. That way, we can keep in touch. It shouldn't be long. I promise. And I'll be back by Christmas!"

***LOST BOYS POV ***

'David, we need to tell her,' Dwayne told his best friend and brother. David shook his head, almost imperceptible if not for vampiric sight. 

'She can't know,' David disagreed. Paul's lips tightened in anger. 

'She's going to know,' Paul sighed. 'The mating bond is already wreaking havoc on her. Remember when we didn't see her for a few days? She was getting sick again.'

'I'll ask Max,' Dwayne sighed. Even though they didn't get along with their sire, everyone had been trying to have peace for the sake of the Emersons. Aria was their mate, while Lucy was apparently Max's. 

Once their mate's breathing had softened, obviously in the throws of sleep, the four left her room. They flew to Max's house, where the man opened the door, obviously shocked to see his four wayward sons. 

"What happened?" Max asked, wordlessly holding the door open. 

"Aria's Dad is taking her back to Phoenix," David stated as the four sprawled out in Max's living room. Max sucked in a breath, shaking his head. 

"Have you solidified the bond with her?" Max asked, raising an eyebrow as he pulled off his clunky glasses. The four shook their heads, negative. 

"She's not ready for that," Dwayne stated, voice a deep rumble. Max pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"I'm not going to lie to you, four," Max said. "She's going to get worse if she's away."

"How much worse?" Marko snarled, looking feral, fangs flashing in the dim light. 

"Aria met you guys before," Max sighed, finally dropped the bombshell onto the four guys. 

"WHAT?" David roared, face changing into his vampire visage. He was furious at this news. 

"She was thirteen years old," Max sank into his armchair. 

"No, we would have remembered!" Paul whined, looking lost, but Max just laughed. 

"I erased your memories of her and her memories of you," Max revealed. The four vampires snarled, becoming angry at their sire for messing with their mate. "I had to!" 

"Why?" Dwayne forced himself to calm down. He knew they needed to hear this story, and none of the others could calm down enough to listen to it. 

"She was thirteen," Max pointedly stated. "You four didn't want her to leave for Phoenix. I knew the mating pull would bring her back, hopefully when she was older. However, I didn't account for how strong your connection is with Aria."

"Is that why she's sick?" Paul hummed. Even though he was a stoner and enjoyed being aloof, Paul's mind worked. That was the reason he preferred to be stoned because sometimes he needed to shut his brain down. 

"Yes," Max looked upset at his decision. "It's why the four of you hold such disdain for your sire. Your subconscious vampire knows that I removed the memories of your mate. But I did it for all five of you!"

"That's against the rules, Max," David snarled, lighting a cigarette to calm himself. His hands were trembling in suppressed anger. 

"I know," Max dipped his head. "But usually, meeting your mate once, if she were human, wouldn't invoke such responses from the five of you. It wasn't until I saw her that I realized the error. It appears Aria was feeling the mating bond and tried to fill the void with a boyfriend. However, that made her sicker, which is why she suffered from Anorexia. That's why once you five found each other this summer, she's been able to start recovering."

"So she was searching for her mates and found Justin," Marko mused, humming as the pieces clicked together. 

"That's why I'm worried about her state if she goes to Phoenix," Max admitted, and their eyes flashed golden at the thought. 

"She was in such a bad state just from meeting us once," Dwayne muttered. "The mating bond will strain upon her now that we've been together for over three months."

"Mates aren't meant to be apart," Max agreed. "The male vampires are supposed to cherish their mates. We all know that mates aren't strong enough on their own, hence the reason a nest has multiple male vampires and only one female."

"Yes," David waved a hand in the air pompously. "We all know this!"

"Do you know how mates have to feed, David?" Max's eyes flashed gold in his anger towards his firstborn. David shook his head. "Mates only feed from their mated vampires. Their fangs aren't strong enough to feed on humans. The other reason why there are multiple vampires per mate."

"So, we have to feed her?" Marko's eyebrows creased as he looked up at their sire. They were all confused as none of them had heard about this. 

"Yes, mates drink from the vein of their vampires," Max got up and filled a glass with bourbon. He drank it down, refilling the glass. "Mates cannot be away for long. Once the bonding has been solidified, she can be away for a few days. But Aria needs the venom and blood of all four of you running through her veins to turn."

"What's going to happen if she goes?" Paul asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. 

"I'm not sure," Max's eyes looked troubled. "All I know is it won't be anything good."

End Part 1

Part 2 - Time After Time - Chapter One

[metamorphosisff]

|Chapter 14| The Motions

My body felt heavy as I left Dr. Mitchell’s office and reentered the damp heat of August in the city. It’s been this way ever since I have been at odds with my father. We still haven’t talked since our argument last month. I had mixed feelings about the whole ordeal. Feelings I had yet to process much to the chagrin of Dr. Mitchell, which is why he tasked me with reaching out to my mother. I have inadvertently ignored her in the midst of this and it was not fair. She did not ask to be placed in the middle of our mess. In my mind though, I automatically put her on his side. Not once considering how our actions were affecting her until Dr. Mitchell pointed it out. By the time I rode the subway, walked to my building, showered, and redressed, I knew it was time to call her. 

Grabbing my phone, I plopped onto the couch where a stack of papers waited to be graded on the coffee table as soon as this conversation was over. Like always, she picked up on the second ring, her sienna face filling the camera from her perch on the kitchen island. Her glasses sat on the tip of her nose which let me know she was probably in the middle of doing work. As a personal accountant to a few executives in the finance district, she often brought home extra documents to comb through uninterrupted. We were alike in that way, always working, never quite comfortable with idle time or hands.

“Look who remembers he has a mother who is worried sick about him,” she teased, pushing her glasses further back onto her face.

Outside of a few sporadic texts which were mostly about Granddad, she hadn’t heard from me, so the barb as light as it is, was warranted. “I’m sorry about that. I just needed to clear my head.”

“And have you? It doesn’t look like it from what I can see. Have you been getting enough sleep Xavier?” she fired off, face leaning in closer as she observed me.

Ma has always had a sixth sense when it came to my moods. I don’t know how she did it but she knew when something was off with me. Usually before I even had the words to express so. There was not much I could keep a secret from her and I currently did not have the energy to try. 

“I sleep but it doesn’t really help with the kind of tiredness I’m experiencing. To answer your question, no, I haven’t cleared it yet. Well, in some ways I have and in others…I don’t have the energy to,” I shrugged. 

“Care to expound on that a bit?” she asked warmly. “It’s only me and your sister here, and she’s upstairs talking to her friends so you can be real with me. I’d like you to be real with me. I don’t like seeing you so out of sorts.”

Once again, Ma knew my concern without me having to verbally express it. Since she confirmed that I wouldn’t be overheard- potentially adding more fuel to the fire that flamed between Pops and I answered her question with no hesitation.

“I have come to the realization that I am never going to be good enough for Pops and I can’t force myself to be what he wants nor apparently, can I make him like me by being myself. So I think I’m done trying,” I said.

Maybe we weren’t supposed to have a close bond. Pops and I got along best when we stuck to neutral subjects like sports and Veronica’s shenanigans. Well that wasn’t entirely true. We shared a lot of the same interests and were more alike in our demeanor than either of us realized. There was a layer of something though in our foundations that made us appear to be oil and water. It appeared the moment I turned fourteen. Like a switch went off, Pops went from being my dad to my drill sergeant without any warning or notice. My first reaction to the switch was anger but over the years that has settled into what I’ve found to be is disappointment.

“Your father said something ugly in the heat of the moment but it wasn’t true. Even as he was saying it, I knew it wasn’t which is why I was shocked he told such a bold lie in an attempt to try and even the playing field with you. I had to remind him that there is no game to be won when our child is hurting. No points to be made. No puffing of the chest. Nuh uh, none of that,” she said, wagging her finger for emphasis.

Though glad that she had stood up for me, it did not change much for me. “He still said it though.”

“That he did.”

“That shit hurt. Like a lot. On top of all of the other stuff going on between us, that felt…,” I sighed, shaking my head. I was still having trouble trying to name the exact emotion that is evoked when I relive the argument. “It felt like something I don’t think I can bounce back from.”

“I can’t blame you for that. When I was around your age, my mother said something hurtful to me and I didn’t talk to her for months. Me and you are alike in that way. We need time to sit with situations and that time can range until the moment we feel like we can face it,” she said, which was true.

I didn’t know how to move past anything without over analyzing it. Especially when I was dealing with someone I loved. It was hard for me to set boundaries and even harder to enforce them but I can’t go on like this with Pops. I shouldn’t have to. 

“So I’m not going to convince you to speed that process up,” she continued, pulling me from my thoughts. “All I ask is that if your father approaches you in the interim to give him a chance. You and your sister are teaching him that the world is not the same as when he was a child. Change is scary but he’s learning though it doesn’t seem like it at the moment.”

“No it doesn’t,” I sighed out, squeezing the bridge of my own. “Pops always said a man stands on his word. So I’m taking his words for face value at the moment and if he is changing, then he’ll stand on that too, and we’ll be able to see it. Until then I’m going to keep my distance.”

Nodding her head, she said, “Like I said, I understand baby I do. That’s my piece on that. So let’s talk about this new girlfriend.”

A laugh escaped my lips as I shook my head. “She’s not my girlfriend Ma’.”

She was close though. So close to being everything. The thought both scared and excited me because it was new. I never had a woman fit so intrinsically into my life or heart. There were days I questioned if she was real because how had I been so lucky? Mila was my better half in every way that it mattered and in every way that it didn’t. What we had was rare.

“Not yet but soon by the way you're blushing over there. I can’t wait to meet her. You’ll excuse me if I say, I hope she’s nothing like that high string Miss Thing you were last with,” she said, refusing to say Mariah’s name.

I shook my head. “Nah, she is the complete opposite, trust me.”

“Let me refill this wine glass and then I want to hear all about her!” she says with a silly smile that makes me chuckle. 

As she gets up to head to the refrigerator, I make a mental note to check in on her more often. I may be at odds with Pops but Ma’ has always been one of my best friends. 

Having enough of my “bitch ass moping”, Aiden said he was taking me some place to get my mind off of things. Knowing that was code for hellish workout, I dressed ready for the gym, and called an Uber for the Williamsburg address he sent me. I could have taken the train but my attitude wasn’t ‘take the train’ ready. This past week I have not been able to distract myself enough from the issues with my father. The minor incident I had with Granddad the other night had only worsened my mood as he overheard me on the phone with his doctors and launched into a two hour lecture on how he didn’t need any more check ups or anybody meddling in his affairs. Whatever Aiden had up his sleeve, I hoped it was enough to tire me out to the point where I’ll be too exhausted to overthink. 

It only took me thirty minutes to pull up to what seemed to be a converted warehouse. Converted to what remained to be the question. I could not tell by the crowd filtering in and out of the large building that sat on a dead end street across from another converted warehouse that was used for indoor paintball. It took a few seconds but eventually I spotted both Aiden and Rah standing not too far from the entrance.

“Ayo,” I called out, catching both of their attention as I strolled up. “What is this place?”

Rah snickered and shook his head. “Let me pull my camera up. This is about to be good,” he says in lieu of greeting and answering the question.

I turn my gaze to a mischievous looking Aiden. “What exactly does he mean by that?”

“You know he's just dramatic,” Aiden says with a wave of his hand. “But to answer your question, remember when we talked about participating in amateur boxing matches?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose already knowing where this was headed. “Vaguely.”

“Great so you do remember. Anyway I signed you up and you're slotted to fight in an hour. I got everything with me so don’t even trip,” Aiden said.

“You signed me up for a boxing match and didn’t think it would be a good idea to give me more than five seconds notice?” I asked, with a raised brow.

“Yes. We haven’t been in the gym doing drills for nothing. Now, let's go,” Aiden said, walking towards the door.

I stared at his back incredulously as Rah zoomed in on my face. “I hope all that practice wasn’t for nothing,” Rah laughs.

“After I win this fight, I’m beating both of y’all asses. Both,” I said, pushing his phone out of my face so that I could follow behind Aiden.

“Not it’s fuck 50,” Rah cracked beside me.

“It definitely is. You know this is wild,” I said with a shake of my head.

“Eh it’s better than what he initially planned. I was able to talk him down to this,” Rah said with a shrug. 

“That is…oddly comforting.”

“I thought it might be.”

In the hour before the fight, we are placed into a small room with just enough space for me to change into shorts and my shoes. Aiden wraps my hands and leads me through a few warm ups that gets my blood pumping. There’s a sharp knock on the door followed by a deep voice shouting, “We need Taylor upstairs in five!”

“We're leaving right now,” Aiden yelled back before turning to face me. “You got this shit bro. Use all that anger you keep inside, let that shit out, and win some money in the process.”

“Money? Is this legal?” I asked.

“Legal-ish.”

I don’t have time to curse Aiden out because we’re being called again and the man magically sounds even less impatient than he did thirty seconds ago. Within the next few minutes I’m ushered upstairs where a boxing ring has been set up in the middle. The crowd is thick in attendance and the workers have to lead us ring side as a Meek Mill song blasts from above. My opponent is reaching the ring the same time as me and I instantly start picking out our differences. I take note of his height and build, which hand he uses while he talks, and how he shuffles his feet in constant motion. This is supposed to be an amateur fight but it’s clear to me that he is a bit seasoned.

“Don’t let that nigga’s size fool you into think he’s better,” Rah says, appearing out of nowhere with a towel draped over his shoulder. Apparently while we had been downstairs, he had been up here getting the corner ready with supplies. “His name is Chris but he is known as C Knock-Out. That changes tonight.”

“Rah right. Niggas his sized get beat up everyday. This just another day,” Aiden said.

“Got it,” I said as he popped in my mouth guard. 

There wasn’t time for any more conversation because things were underway with the flashing of the lights. In what seemed like instantly, we were given the rules and expectations of the match. There would only be three, two minute rounds and any dirty moves would result in points being taken away or automatic forfeit. After that we were touching gloves and a bell was sounded.

Chris wasted no time in charging at me, his style of fighting was aggressive but his movements were clumsy. I was able to tire him out in the first round but it cost me a few body shots. We’re both feeling each other out because my hits are surprising him with how close they land to his face. To his ribs. The last jab I send to the latter area wakes him up. I can see the moment he realizes this won’t be an easy fight and he locks in. I spent the last twenty seconds of the second round dodging a flurry of punches, two of which connect to my jaw and send my head snapping back. I duck the follow up punch with just enough time before the bell us rung again sending us back to our corners.

Aiden is pulling out my mouth piece and I’m not surprised to see it filled with blood. Rah gives me water which I use to rinse my mouth out some.

“He mad now. He getting sloppy. He gon’ give you a window of opportunity, use that shit big dawg,” Aiden coaches, slapping my shoulder.

Rah tossed me a look.

“What?”

“Stop holding back your punches. Rock that nigga.”

I nod my head and with that, I’m ready to go back out. 

Like the two times before, Chris charges at me but isn’t prepared for me to charge back. We met in the middle and instantly began to search for openings. He lands a punch to my arm that sends me a few steps back.

“You know I’m putting that ass to sleep right?” Chris taunts.

“We’ll see about that.”

He starts sending punches to my ribs again and one of them causes me to bite back a groan. The muffled sound I do make is enough for him to sense a weakness. He continues his onslaught of punches but I don’t make it easy as I take him around the ring. I’m quicker on my feet than he is, something that he has yet to take notice of. He relies on his arms being longer so much that it has become a disadvantage. The moment he rushes to close the gap between us I send a right hook to his jaw and follow it up with my left. The shock of the punches causes him to stumble and that gives me the leverage to continue my assault. Like instructed, I use all of the anger that has been flowing in the undercurrent of my being behind my punches. Every stressful conversation, argument, and lost memory pours out of me until the bell rings and we’re being separated. I don’t knock him out but by the end of this final round only one of us is leaning and it isn’t me. 

It doesn’t register to me that I won until Aiden picks me up. The crowd is cheering and the energy is electric. Chris and I slap hands, him with a promise to see me again but he won’t. As much fun as this was, I think I prefer using boxing a method to clear my head, not as my livelihood. I didn’t need to take a spot from someone who really wanted this life. All I wanted was a distraction and Aiden, as backwards as his methods are, came through. I don’t know if it’s from winning or burning off some of the dark energy I had been carrying around but I feel lighter.

I’m riding this high as I go downstairs to change into my regular clothes. I have a busted lip and what I’m sure are fractured ribs but I feel amazing. Until I get around to checking my phone that is. My screen is filled with notifications and when I unlock it, I have five missed calls and thirty six texts. 

All from Mila.

[orangeypepsi]

You're the only one - C.S

"I like smaller gatherings rather than large parties, I don't know. I have more fun." Chris says with a smile to me as I nod, agreeing with his statement. The music is playing on a low volume in the background, but still loud enough to sing along to the lyrics. It is a small gathering at Chris' apartment, he only invited a few friends including me. We all know each other pretty well, so there's a comfortable energy hanging in the air.

Chris is wearing his favorite shirt, the camouflage one and it fits him really well. I think it might be my favorite too, but I'm used to subduing these thoughts about Chris. He's walking around socializing and sipping on a hard seltzer, his baggy jeans barely holding themselves up on his waist and showing off the waistband of his gray underwear, without a single care. He is constantly fixing his cap which he has on backwards, and everytime he does that my breath hitch a little.

As the hours pass by us, the get-together gets smaller one by one. People leaving as they say their goodbyes to the rest of us, yawning or drunkenly walking. I smile as the last of our mutuals hugs both me and Chris tightly and leaves. My heart is beating a little faster knowing now that me and Chris are alone together. We are friends, but everytime his shirt rides up a bit my heart stops or there is even times Chris puts his hand on my lower back and I get aroused right there. It is embarrassing but I can't make my feelings known, I suppress them knowing the damage this do to me. Chris sighs, pulling me out of my thoughts, and he walks over to the corner cabinet in the kitchen. I look curiously in his direction when he turns around, only holding a small clear plastic bag. "Chris, is that...?" I say smirking before Chris interrupts me. "Yes, this is pure happiness if that was what you were thinking." he says back to me smiling while slightly shaking the bag. The bag is filled with what looks like small dark green mossy spheres. The urge to smoke weed has never been this high, and I usually smoke pretty often. The thought of me alone with Chris smoking is... exciting to say the least.

Chris shows me his work, a joint tightly rolled and I smile examining his work. "And the award for the most beautiful joint goes to... Chris Sturniolo!" I say loudly, laughing knowing I made a corny joke. "Thank you, thank you!" Chris laughs loudly while making a half-assed attempt at bowing. We sit down on the couch, Chris groaning as he realizes that he forgot the lighter. "Fuck..." Chris states, and I look at him with a wondering expression on my face. "I forgot the lighter in the cabinet." Chris sighs and I smile a teethy grin. "Don't worry, I'll get it for us." I say excitedly, I just want to smoke so I can feel relaxed around Chris, especially since without knowing it he has been teasing me all night. I get up and walk over to the cabinet adjusting my jeans, they are supposed to be low-waisted but they ride up all the time making me irritated. I stop in my tracks, unbuttoning my jeans and letting them ride down, accidentally losing my grip. The jeans hooks themselves onto my ass, revealing my panties if anyone had been looking. I pull them back up, giggling to myself hoping Chris didn't see it. I look back, and Chris quickly look in my eyes smiling. I shake the naughty thoughts out of my head and grab the lighter from the cabinet. I toss the lighter to Chris, and I see him lighting the joint up while I walk back over. I plummet down onto the couch, my stomach aching for the taste of pure happiness on my tongue. Chris is so focused on the first few hits, my thoughts start to wander but they quickly disappear as the joint is in my sightline. Chris smiles handing the joint to me. "Don't choke on it" he laughs, continuning to speak. "Like I did the first time." I look at Chris, and I grin. "Come on now, you can't possibly think this is my first time. I tried weed before I even knew what alcohol was. Like let's be so for real." I laugh while bringing the joint to my mouth. I inhale the smoke and let it travel slowly down my throat, enjoying the taste of it before I blow the remaining out. "Shit, my bad. How can I not know this about you? We've been friends for so long." he asks genuinely, and I shrug. "Never thought it was important enough." I smirk taking another hit before passing it back to Chris already feeling the calming effects. It was true, we had been friends for a few years and he knew everything about me. Clearly not, but most of my embarrassing and deepest secrets lies within Chris. If he remembers it ofcourse. We were just friends, but I've been hiding my feelings for so long, wondering often if he ever felt the same. I take a hit, pass the joint back, he takes a hit, passes it back. The vibe in the room is calm, yet there's something else I just can't put my finger on what it is. I look deep into Chris' eyes allowing myself to fall into them, and I swear he looks at me the same.

Suddently there is faint sounds from a phone call. Both Chris and I, without breaking off the eye contact, search for our phones frantically to see who's phone it is. I finally find my phone, and it is an old friend calling me. Ashley, a childhood friend of mine is calling. This can't be good, since we don't talk that much. "I need to answer, it's a childhood friend and I don't think she's doing good" I explain to Chris and he nods letting me answer.

"Yoooo tall girl" I groan at the nickname I've had since we were children. "Where the fuck are you at? I need to see you" Ashley yells over the phone, and I notice immediately that she's drunk. Out of the corner of my eye I see Chris reacting too, but it wasn't because she was drunk. "Ashley? What the fuck?" Chris looks at me baffled, but about to laugh. "How do you know Ashley?" I look into his eyes and are about to ask how he knows her. "Tall girl why are you with my ex?" Ashley asks looking like she is about to cry. Everything that is happening makes me confused and I'm high so I start laughing. Chris starts laughing too, and Ashley scoffs. "I understand it didn't end well" I continue to laugh making Ashley upsetter by the minute. "Well yeah, he fucked my best friend and broke up with me. I fucking hate him." Ashley replies angry. I look over at Chris with my mouth open as he finds this amusing. He whispers to me that he'll explain later. Ashley's voice is heard again yelling profanity at Chris even though she doesn't see him. "And one last thing before I hang up on your fake friend ass, he has the smallest dick I've ever seen." she screams at me and hangs up. My mouth is hanging while I look at Chris surprised, laughing. "What the actual fuck just happened?" I laugh even more. "I don't even know" he laughs even more. Feeling the need to clarify why Ashley and I are friends, I tell Chris that even though we are childhood friends, we had a falling out a couple years ago but that she had called a year prior and wanted to rekindle the friendship. Chris understands and wants to explain what happened between him and his ex. "She came home one time from a party, at the party she cheated on me and I didn't know. A mutual told me, a fucking mutual. I asked her when she came through the door what happened. She threw herself at me wanting to have sex 'one last time'." He says quoting her on the last phrase. "I broke up right there and she screamed and cried. Never saw her again." he shrugs as if he doesn't care. I move closer to him to try and comfort him, but Chris only smiles. "I don't care, I'm over her and have someone else in my thoughts." Chris smiles. My stomach feels like a thousand knives are being stabbed into. Fuck, I didn't even have the chance to sleep with him first.

I try to ignore the feeling in my stomach while I joke around with Chris. "But you do have small dick energy" I laugh, as Chris' gaze deepens but lightens up again. "Why don't you see for yourself instead?" Chris states smiling. My stomach drops again, did he just say that? No, we're friends. He didn't mean it. But he looked at my ass earlier, or I think he did. Did he? Yes, he did. He leans forward to grab the joint to take another hit washing it down with whatever's left in his red plastic cup. The entire situation with Ashley made the night feel so much longer than it needed to be, and now when there is another sensation between my legs I ignore it. One thing though, when you're not supposed to be thinking of something, that's the only thing on your mind. I thought about Chris slowly making his way down on me, how he kisses, if he's big or not. Especially that, does he have a girther dick rather than a long one? These things running my mind while Chris talks mindlessly about anything makes me horny, and wet, and...

"Hey idiot!" Chris calls, and I snap out of my thoughts seeing the joint in front of my face. "I asked if you wanted the last hit?" he says but bringing the joint back to his face, meaning I missed my chance. In my horny state of mind I quickly get over to Chris and demands he shotgun kiss me. Without hesitating he drags the last smoke out of the joint, and exhale. The smoke dancing between us before finally ending up in my mouth and I lean my head back inhaling the last of it.

I give Chris' soft lips a peck and thank him for doing that for me. Chris' eyes shoot up and his mouth is open. I lay down on the couch before I realize what the fuck I did. Fuck, this is the alcohol mixed with the weed making a move on me. I quickly stand up. "Chris, I don't feel so good. I'm going to the bathroom." I say without even waiting for Chris' reply. I get to the bathroom, and I see myself in the mirror. I'm swaying left and right, feeling like the weed really hit me now. I laugh at myself. "It doesn't matter, it was friendly" my now heavily intoxicated thoughts affecting my feelings. What I didn't know was that after that kiss and watching me walk away Chris groaned wishing it wasn't just a kiss. He had been watching me all night wishing to fuck me, and even tried to hint it to me. He had watched as my jeans fell down earlier and almost got a hard-on. The truth was that everytime Chris needed to masturbate, or he found himself in a situation with a girl, he only thought of me. How I felt sucking him off, what my ass looked like, how wet could I get for him? He always felt bad since we were friends, but now that I had kissed him he couldn't stop his dick from hardening.

I walk back out from the bathroom and see Chris laying with his hand covering his eyes. My only thoughts are that it is over now, he is sad that I kissed him and I've lost a friend. Clearly my drugged mind not handling anxiety well. Chris removes his hand away from his face, and look at me with a slight panic in his eyes. I walk closer to him and see his hand under his pants. I open my mouth in excitement but Chris takes it as a bad thing. "Sorry... fuck-" Chris sighs, and I interrupt him. I smile and straddle him.

"No problem touching yourself when I'm in the apartment?" I laugh. Chris unsure how to respond just nods. By looking at him I feel my panties starting to get wetter by the second. Seeing my expression, Chris smirks and places his hands on my hips. "This might ruin our friendship, but I just kept looking at you today and I wanted so bad to bend you over and fuck you until the upstairs neighbours hear you scream my name." Chris states calmly and my pussy tingles like crazy knowing I've wanted this too. I lean closer to him, putting my hands on his chest. "Let's see if we can make the neighbours across the street hear me scream your name" I whisper into his ear. This was enough to set him off. He grabs my waist pulling me in, holding my face an inch from his face. "You are the one I think of when I jack off" he whispers, and my pussy clenches at the thought of him thinking of me. I can't deny how wet that makes me so I grind a little. He holds me down, smirking. I'm impatient so I kiss him immediately, which he is quick to respond to. His tongue graze mine as his hands travel all over my body before ultimately ending up on my ass, gripping it hard. I gasp breaking away from the kiss, and he just brings me back in again. He tugs at my shirt wanting it removed and I follow his wish. "It's unfair if I'm going to be naked but you fully dressed" I whine. He chuckles at my whiny remark as he sits up, and pulls off his t-shirt. "It's just a t-shirt" he laughs. I smirk and stand up, slowly undressing myself. I'm basically becoming a stripper for Chris, and with the look in his eyes and the low moaning I'm feeling myself. Dancing to the seducing beat in the background smiling, touching myself all over my body. My fingers searching and finding my pussy, I slowly rub my clit with my eyes closed and moaning. Chris is in shock but quickly pulls his jeans and underwear off of him, panting and palming his dick. The weed are definitely making its impact on both me and Chris.

I knew I would like kissing Chris but I never knew how much, in fact I fucking love it. I lay on the couch as Chris is on top making the most out of this little make out session. The weed affecting our perception of time, it feels like hours since I slightly kissed Chris. Chris has his entire body weight on mine and I feel his dick rubbing unintentionally against my clit. He is kissing me so forcefully I think he is afraid this is our only moment together. I push him off and down on the couch, I sit down on my knees and pull his legs to face me. This is the first look I've gotten of his dick and I have to admit, I'm in a bit of shock. "Hope you don't choke on my 'small' dick?" Chris smirks. I laugh as I spit on his dick and let my hand spread it all over his large and throbbing dick. "Have you been waiting for this?" I ask slowly jerking him off. "You have no idea" he moans low, letting his head fall back and closing his eyes.

[My first oneshot, I did not have the energy to finish this, but will happily make part twoooo]

[cannibalisticskittles]

got home a little after 1:00 and then launched into updating my sub plans bc. no way am i going to be good to work lmao. i normally wake up at 6 and it's 2:39 right now, even if emotionally i'm keeping it together, i will be so sleep deprived as to be less than useless

so. the deal with tonight. i'm working some shit out here and it's the gory details so. you've been warned.

my parents' neighborhood have a christmas celebration each year and they hire someone w/ a horse-drawn carriage; i think they work at one of the ranches nearby. buncha family came up for that.

i came back to the house earlier. i swap some laundry. i come downstairs and my dad is carrying my grandma onto the couch. surprising for several reasons; they had stayed back to ride the carriage and they shouldn't be back yet and... why is she being carried.

he's calling her name. she is... not responding. but he says "we need the inhaler" and leaves her with my grandpa so i think oh damn, okay, an asthma attack. the inhaler is found. but he's still calling her name trying to get her respond. she is... not responding. he says it sounds like she's maybe got something in her mouth or is trying to spit something up. at this point i have my phone out and i am mentally preparing to call emergency services. i figure he will tell us if/when that's needed but for now he seems to not think that's necessary.

...and then after a bit it becomes apparent that maybe he's not in a state to make that call. someone notes that my grandmother does not appear to be breathing at all now. "we should call," I say. "you or me?" to my mother. she doesn't know what to do; she's never called. i have; I call. my sister and her friend come down at that moment. my sister's friend is immediately leaping to help and checking her breathing/identifying a pulse.

emergency services says, based on my description, to start on cpr. i tell them this. my father is still trying to get grandma to respond. she's drooling out spit now. i repeat that cpr should be started. he's focused on trying to get her to spit out whatever he feels is in her mouth. i am trying not to scare him but if cpr is needed -- and it is -- then it is needed NOW. i repeat myself again and my sister's friend also urges this. this time, he listens, mostly bc of the friend i think, who gently shifts my grandma to her and then quickly takes her fully into her arms and sets her on the floor. i am cpr certified but my arm strength is fucking weak; in the trainings I've done, i can only maintain sufficient depth for a short period of time. even so, i am trying to answer questions over the phone while preparing to do compressions -- but the friend jumps into them

they are fucking flawless. perfect technique. enough that I immediately know that I can shift my full focus back to the phone call because she's doing everything exactly right. tho it's hard to shift my FULL focus; grandma is vomiting listlessly onto the carpet; i have to tell my dad to turn her head to the side bc the friend is putting her energy into those compressions

paramedics get there fast. they're there within 4 minutes of the phone call. i realize that we have a whole host of family members who went on that carriage who will be coming back soon so go to check in on that as there's nothing more I can do but be in the way inside

unfortunately people are already coming back. I spend some time outside, gently explaining to both teen siblings, one at a time, "grandma isn't breathing. paramedics are here. it's your choice to go inside or not but it might be a scary sight." and then fielding questions from the rest

it's probably soon after that that she's wheeled out but it felt like a long time. couldn't have been more than 5 minutes later tho.

then I spend a few hours with my teen siblings. waiting for further word from my parents. my sister gets a text that is not a sure sign of bad things..... but probably is. she goes upstairs to "put the kids to bed" which is mostly just saying "hey. stop. go to bed. you have school. turn your lights off. seriously stop playing for a while, go to bed" and then she hollers for me to come up. it's obvious what comes next but. yeah. grandma has a DNR on file which we didn't know about. grandpa makes the decision to honor her wishes. up to us if we want to be there. up to the teen sibs too.

sister wants to be the one to break the news to them. both think it's too hard to be there. sister and i decide yes we will go. even if not there for the moment, we will be near.

god. she looked. god.

i'm used to seeing people all tubed up. my cousin got the full course of tubes in her time in the hospital. more, even. but god it's a hard sight to see.

she never regained consciousness. by all accounts, she was likely not in pain. and when they pulled the tubes she breathed for a bit but passed quickly after, within minutes.

just. jesus. we don't even know what happened. i mean, she was 74. she semi-recently battled cancer. we knew it was coming. but like this? so sudden? walking and chattering and drinking cocoa and then unresponsive in her son's arms? vomiting in unconsciousness as her sternum is broken from chest compressions?

it's been a hard night. i compartmentalize. i am. okay. there was some grief. there will be grief again. but i struggle to conceptualize death and it never quite feels real to me so it will be. well. not a fully linear path out of this.

i didn't even say hi to her beforehand. i was in the shower when she got there and then she left to go to the carriages before i did, and then we weren't in the same group. jesus.

[crmsnmth]

September Sky Chapter Two, part 9 (End of Chapter Two)

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're getting blood everywhere!" I was bleeding out, and she was more concerned with the rug. Her voice was right in front of me. My eyes were closed at this point. My hand didn't hurt, it was just numb and wet and sticky.

"Oh my god, Chris! Shit." I could feel her lift my hand up and actually look at the cut. I felt the pressure as another handful of towels was held tightly onto the wound. I didn't really care. I was tired. I was really tired. Of life in general.

"Fuck. Come on, get up. I'll take you to the ER. You need stitches and I can't get it to stop." I felt her lift me up to my fee and help carry me out of the apartment, and she loaded me in her car. I groaned, trying to tell her no, don't, but I was just tired.

I opened my eyes. I was staring into our bathroom mirror. The cut in my palm had been cleaned. I turned around to face the door. Emily stood there just watching. There was no sound at all. Pure silence. I tried leaving the room, but she would not move out of the way. I'd step to the right, she'd step to the right. Like a mirror image

"I'm sorry," Emily's voice echoed, as if the bathroom was a cave, cold and dark. I'd heard those words so many times, they lost all meaning. One of us was always sorry. One of us was always guilty. And one of us was always the victim. Two words that meant nothing fixed it all.

* * * *

Blue light from my television screen lay my room in a cold glow. My eyes opened and the walls were instantly in my face, my small room shrinking into a claustrophobic hell. Sweat broke out along my forehead, and even though I could feel my face heating up, I shivered. I kicked my blankets off.

My breath came in sharp and cutting gasps, my lungs begging for more air. I just couldn't inhale. I knew, deep down, I was safe and in my own bed, but it was buried under the panic of the nightmare. My eyes searched the ever-closing walls, looking for some way I could run. My hands shook, and I closed my eyes as tight as I could. Tight enough that lights and colors danced behind my lids.

I was having a panic attack, and I was not in control of it. I held my body, in the fetal position on my bed. The air was getting heavier with each breath. I gritted my teeth so hard, I swear I could feel them cracking behind my lips.

I focused, with all the energy I could muster, on my breathing. Slowing it down. Keeping my eyes shut tight, I made each breath longer than the last. Inhale, exhale. Repeat slower. Eventually, my breathing stabilized itself, and I opened my eyes again. The walls were back where they belonged. I was freezing, in drying sweat. Stomach acid bit into my throat. I reached up on top of my dresser, finding the Klonopin, and chewing up two of the little pills. I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling. Still focused strictly on my breathing.

Eventually, everything came home, and this panic attack went the way of all the others. Out of memory. Out of mind. I got out of bed, grabbed my cigarettes and headed out onto the porch couch.

It was chilly outside, and I was a little angry at myself for not throwing on my coat, but it didn't matter. I lit my cigarette and sat down.

I found myself looking at the palm of my left hand. A large pink ribbon of scar tissue went across the whole thing. It wasn't the only one either. My arms were covered in tiny razor scars that only come from self-harm. Even my chest had a bunch. And there were quite a few large ones that scared some people. Most of these large ones wasn't mine. My wrists were.

I tried to kill myself at 15. I was a loner kid. I didn't get invited to hang out, or to actually do anything. Sometimes I'd show up, but I never really was one with the crowd. I was a novelty act. And I knew it.

That's a lot for an already fucked up teenage mind, but add on the idea of bipolar starting, it was hopeless. And three months after school started, I slit my wrists in the bathroom. My13 year old younger brother found me. He's the only I've ever felt the need to apologize to. He shouldn't have seen that. He wasn't supposed to be coming home, but he did. I'm sure I fucked him up for life.

I finished my cigarette and headed back into the warmth of the house. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling again, counting minutes instead of sheep. I made it to forty-eight minutes, before I finally was able to fall back into sleep. And pray there were no more nightmares coming. None came. No dreams at all came.

[artdecosupernova-writing]

OC Kiss Week Day 7: Sloppy

WIP: WASTE Pairing: Guetry x Oren Timeline: before shit went down, obviously CW: drug use, drug mention, sexual situations Rating: M Words: 845

***

Playing a show while zooted to oblivion on reaver rock has always been one of my favorite things to do.

Alec hated it, of course, but she always preferred me to be high under her supervision rather than to do it alone, or, worse yet, with Oren. However, despite spending the majority of my high times around her—on show nights, anyway—I still had to go back home to Oren.

And sometimes that was even worse than the drug.

One night in particular, I dragged myself through the front door of my Node apartment to find him sitting on the couch, a pipe already prepped for me and outstretched in my direction.

"Man, I dunno," I muttered, propping my beat guitar against the wall. "I'm coming down hard."

"This'll help," he said. "You'll sleep better."

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face...my soft face, my pillow face that always puffed up when I was coming down. Sticky with dried sweat and warm, and gross. "Yeah, I feel like shit."

He handed me the pipe as I dropped onto the couch beside him and lit up.

"You didn't come to the show?"

"Nah," Oren said, wrapping an arm around me. He loved it when I was at my lowest, loved it when I didn't have the energy to be anything but pathetic. "I was tired. I'll be there next time, garçon."

He never was.

The smoke in my lungs numbed my skin and once the air started to feel like fur, I climbed onto Oren's lap and drowned him in lazy kisses, peeled his shirt from his body, and marked his shoulders with my teeth.

I'm taller than him, but not by much, yet it always surprised me when he could maneuver me by carrying me or laying me over the coffee table, or even the times he would fuck me against the wall or...whatever. Truly, the sex was nothing special. As it was happening the rock made it seem mind-blowing, which I think was part of the reason Oren would make sure I was high when we did it half the time.

Another reason was that he liked to test his products on me, too, but that's neither here nor there.

I left my room as common morning broke and started to put the rock away, head pounding and the rest of me sore from being a bit too rough with Oren. He came out sometime later to find me still trying to tidy up, which was slow going due to having just been body-checked by a passing lenayan dreadnought.

"No, no," he said, taking the box of rock from me and setting it back on the coffee table before I could stuff it into my stash safe. "This is the one I'm selling later."

"Oh, shut the fuck up," I groaned.

He grinned. "I could make you breakfast. How's that sound?"

"I guess." I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat at the island in the kitchen. "How much is this haul gonna net you?"

"Twenty-five easy," Oren said, bare chest puffed with pride as he baconed my eggs and sausaged my toast. I don't know what that means, either. "How much you need for that new drum set you wanted to give Alec?"

I waved the thought away, nursing the cold bottle and relieved the headache was on its way out. "I've got enough. I just got my deposit from the vineyard the other day."

"Right, right." Oren glanced at me from the stove. "That reminds me...how's Gisella been, d'you know?"

At the mention of my mom, my hand tightened around the beer and I turned a lethal glare onto him. "And why the hell do you want to know that?"

"I'm just curious."

"I told you to stay away from her. She's actually trying to get clean for once."

He shrugged. "Okay, relax. I just..." He grimaced and took the pan off the heat. "Well, this is, what, attempt five? You don't really believe it'll stick after so long, do you?"

The smell of food and the physical hell racking my bones were the only things keeping me from vaulting over the island counter and braining my boyfriend with the frying pan. That was a startling realization, but I didn't feed the intrusive thought too much. "You see why it's extremely fucked that her former drug dealer is pretending to be concerned about her trying to get clean, yes?"

Oren, sensing that I had cleared the pathetic stage and was no longer in the headspace to take his shit, nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry, garçon."

I rolled my eyes and took the plate of food from him. "Come eat with me."

We shared breakfast, which helped return some of my strength to me. I showered and lit up again, which returned the rest of it, and then I left the Node altogether for an assignment I was given to take down an allegiant base on Voka.

And if you were wondering, yeah, my mom relapsed the next week. Wonder why.

[keneestorytimelibrary]

CHAPTER 2

“Gurl, I wish I fucked them up more!" Caden said angrily, as he slouched over his small kitchen counter. He had just finished updating me on what happened after I left, and what their “punishments” were. Danny and Veronica received final warnings, with a four day suspension. Caden walked out with a three day suspension, and his first warning. Jack wanted to fire me for walking out on a shift, but Ryan decided otherwise. It didn't bother me as much if they did fire me; I don’t plan on working with Danny or Veronica again.

"But besides that bullshit, tell me exactly what you did!” Caden demanded in a drunken slur. He had already finished his fifth glass of Pinot Grigio, and was pouring his sixth. I was slumped over his small couch, trying to keep myself together. The empty gallon of Cookies and Cream ice cream and empty bottle of Jameson meant that I was going to have a “fun” morning tomorrow.

“Cade, you should have seen the mess I made in his apartment!” I exclaimed, my eyes fixed to the floor. For some reason, I couldn’t muster up the strength to lift them. I kept my eyes fixated on the small dent Caden made months ago when he decided to wear red Peep-Toe Mary Janes for Halloween. The cheap floor caved in the second he walked on it with heels.

“Rockey, YOU should have seen Danny's face when he and Veronica left the restaurant! I swear Danny shitted himself when he saw what happened to his car!” Caden rejoiced as he recounted the look of horror Danny had plastered all over his face. “The dumb ass is probably still there crying…”

‘I would have paid money to see Danny’s face…’ I thought to myself. The thought brought a small smile...and tears to my face. I thought I had gotten over the need to cry years ago, after my grandpa died. Guess not…

Caden stumbled over to me, and jumped onto the other side of the couch, landing on my feet. I made some room for him, though it was a bit difficult. After walking for hours, I had lost feeling on both legs. The air became heavy, as if I was being cornered in a hoarder's house. I knew he wanted to “talk”...

“Rockey...babe...I am so sorry this happened…” Caden said, reaching out to grab my hand. I could only squeeze his hand back; I didn’t have the energy to do anything else.

“Why do guys cheat?” I asked, not expecting an answer from Caden. It was mainly a question that I wanted to ask myself. “Like, was I not enough? Did I mean nothing to him?!” Caden remained quiet, allowing my thoughts to run wild outside my mind.

I felt my body lift itself off the couch, and I found myself stumbling across Caden’s living room. Thankfully his roommate was gone for the night; I knew that my little performance would not be quiet to any degree.

“I mean, I work THREE FUCKING JOBS to help pay rent, and put gas in his car! I bought him so many things, including his stupid ass video games! I spent so much money on him, thinking that I was building a future! I lost so many years because of him. What the fuck am I? A 27 year old slob with no degree, and no place to stay!” I was screaming at the top of my voice; the thought of Caden’s neighbor was the last thing on my mind.

“But don’t think I didn’t get even! I fucked up his entire apartment! I sprayed painted EVERYTHING inside. I destroyed all of his appliances and burned his clothes in the park outside. And I smashed his video games and Play Station. I even sold his Macbook to cop weed!” The more I spoke, the stronger the urge was to cry. I didn’t want to...I didn’t want to admit how hard Danny affected me. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction…

Caden jumped up from the couch, and slowly made his way to me. "FUCK MEN! Men are nothing but dogs! You deserve so much better!” He exclaimed. Caden could care less if his neighbor’s called the cops.

My phone began to ring, bringing me back to reality. Caden and I looked at my phone as if it were a foreign object. I had left my phone on top of the three bags I brought over. There was nothing but clothes, underwear, and my grandpa’s possessions. Whatever I couldn’t carry, I gave away. The walk from Danny’s apartment to Caden’s was two hours that I will never get back. And the walk from one side of Newark to the other was fun.

We looked at it for a few more seconds, before I stumbled over to it. As I neared it, I noticed Danny’s picture. ‘He was calling…?’

“What the fuck does he want!?” Caden demanded as he saw Danny’s picture.

“Maybe to curse my life out after the mess I made?” I said laughing. “The fucker deserved it…” I felt my hands move on their own, and before I could process what was going on, I answered the call.

“What the fuck do you want you lying piece of fucking shit!?” I yelled. Caden was beside me, trying to grab the phone. For some unknown reason, I did what I could to hold onto it.

“Rockey, baby can we please talk?!” Danny pleaded. It sounded like he was crying for hours. It was a neat trick he used before to get me to forgive him. I could feel a heavy feeling growing at the pit of my stomach, and I had this growing urge to hug and comfort him. Thank God he was not here…

“Just tell me Danny...why?” I asked. I could hear my voice crack. I was going to cry. “What have I done to deserve this?!”

Silence. I could barely hear Danny breathing. Caden stopped as well, as if he wanted to know the answer to the question as well.

“Have I not supported you? Was I not attractive anymore…?” My tears began to fall, and my words were getting harder to understand. “Was it because I was always working? Did she give you something that I didn’t? Did she make you feel special?!” I could barely hold myself together. It sounded as if I was choking on a fruit that would not go down my throat.

“Rockey...please I can’t understand you when you’re like this…” Danny said softly. I pulled the phone away from me, trying my hardest to collect myself. I hated how he made me feel like I was acting like a fool.

After a few minutes of silence, I brought the phone back to my ear. “Understand this…In a few years when you are alone, wondering why there is nothing good going on in your life, I want you to think of this moment. I want you to think of what could’ve happened. I want you to ask yourself why you allowed yourself to go astray. I hope that at that moment you understand the pain you put me through. I want you to understand how alone and humiliated I feel right now. I want you to waste years wishing you did not give up on us. I want you to feel this fucking agony. Then, and only then, are you allowed to call me and ask to talk! Until then, go fuck yourself you fucking cock-sucking, dirty ass FUCKWEASEL!” With that, I hung up the phone and threw it against the wall.

I collapsed onto the floor, crying harder than I have ever done. I hated this feeling! I hated feeling vulnerable and low. All I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and die; anything was better than this.

Caden rushed over to me, comforting me as best he could. “Rockey, listen to me… This pain is only temporary.” He brought my eyes to meet him, as he wiped away my tears. “Honey, Life went ahead and showed you that he was not meant for you. Lessons learned are not a waste of time. Feeling this pain, and embracing it, is going to make you stronger. You have a fighting spirit, and at times you are going to have to be tested. It is going to suck, but I know that you are going to pull through. And before long, you are going to look back at this moment and realize that everything you’ve been through has led you to a better future. A future where you learn to love yourself again. Where you learn to let go of your fears and anger. And when you learn that everything is going to be ok, you will find someone who deserves to be with you. Someone who appreciates the little things you do for them. Someone who won’t give you up so easily. Until then, remember you always have me.”

I gave Caden a weak smile, but it was enough for him. He gave me a hug and continued to hold me until I fell asleep. Whether I was ready for it, Life was going to continue pushing forward. I knew at some point, I was going to have to get up and move alongside it.

[thexflyingxpotato]

Wednesday, November 15

2023

(10:02pm)

Today I woke up feeling sad and beat up, it was gloomy and raining outside so I went downstairs to prepare some tea. AND GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?! I was surprised with two kittens 😭😭😭

“Did you see the cats yet?”

Cats? Wait— cat? MY cat? The one your aunt asked if I wanted one???

“Yeah! They’re right here *opens mesh bag on couch that’s been chilling there for a while* see? Take your pick. One is going to my sister”

🥺 they’ve been so quiet and haven’t meowed… I didn’t even know there were cats in the house. *looks inside and dies of cuteness*

———

I woke up sad but now I have kittens. It’s almost like… god really said “here, some cuddle cats for your recent troubles.”🥹

———

Also, I spoke too soon. So that whole, “I came home feeling light and not heavy like I expected”??? Well SURPRISE BITCH! Cuz the cPTSD has sunk in and been triggered. — I literally can feel my adrenaline rushing and pooling up the sides of my neck and tension concentrating in my upper back and shoulders. >.<

I’m easily irritable and am finding myself snapping at literally everything. The sad part of it all is the fact that I tried to take my highest dose of ashwaganda like I used to, to manage the adrenaline fatigue (I take it when I need it, and then take breaks so my body doesn’t build a tolerance) BUT THIS TIME ITS SO MUCH IT ISN’T WORKING AT ALL!!! 🥲😭

I noticed I hadn’t ate for two days straight… and it dawned on my only last night that seeing my mom at the viewing triggered me. And now, I am back in survival mode.

The first time it took me half a year to get my body to calm down and feel safe again after YEARS of abuse. Then one encounter happened and it took me 4 months. Then I was forced to run back into her just so I could have closure and grieve (my grandma died and it’s my mom’s mother… so no way I wouldn’t not see her there). And I’ve been looking for someone who would take me in for psycho therapy, but now I’ve been gifted cats to help me through this tough time 🥹🙏🏼

Life’s crazy but I feel blessed rn.

(Super quick update:

-my landlord got petty and anonymously reported my car to get it towed

-I then got stressed out about having enough and finding somewhere to get my remaining cars squared away so my landlord couldn’t have them taken away too

-my grandmother died

-I had to see my mom (my abuser) at my grandmas viewing. I had so much anxiety about running into fake ass family and having them tell me to mend things with my mom. —— turns out, everyone let me grieve and never brought it up.

-only my dad brought up that I should bring my son around more often (if at all) because “life is short and you might feel guilty about not doing so” 😒 how rich. My parents still owe ME an apology. And I’ve done my part and tried to fix things but they keep hurting me over and over again. I told him “I did my part, I feel no guilt.” Bold of him to assume I feel guilty for not seeing my grandma as much as I could in her last days… I spent my whole life with her and visited and even slept overnight with her when she was in the hospital when I could.

I don’t feel guilty. I feel at peace that she’s able to rest and not suffer in her aching body anymore. I also won’t feel guilt when my mom passes as he’s unaware of the horrible conversation she and I last had. If anything, he’s projecting his guilt onto me and trying to pass off his pride for mine.

-when I came home from the viewing I didn’t feel as heavy (energetically) as I had anticipated. Which was a good thing?

-but the next day I had a fever and body aches… then the next morning after that I felt a lot better but I kept spitting out blood and throwing up “nothing”. — I was worried about if I had worn all black to the viewing, it would absorb everyone’s energy. So I wore a white blouse and kept my hair in a bun. The part that sucked was that everyone was placing their hand in the middle of my upper back to say “sorry/ condolences” 😭😭😭 all their sadness and empathy, but also their fake ass vibes and envious energies (they were upset that I had a baby and hadn’t grown or changed in body figure like they expected me to) all transferred into the area between my shoulders. Where all the pain and “sickness” was felt.

-I had asked for only one cat… but now I think I was meant to have two this time around.