#and even *less* leave any indication of their thoughts on the matter

[luimagines]

Okay, I can't pick just one, so here's like...5

In terms of single-post headcanons, I think that 'the boys as husbands' and 'the boys as dads' are top tier and I continuously go back to reread them because they're so domestic 💛💛, let them get their happily ever after they deserve it (except in Hyrule's case cause his hc were just sad).

In terms of multi-part scenarios (and I've said this before) my favorite is the 'you misunderstood a conversation' and 'you guys are soulmates'. The first one is because miscommunication my beloved💛, but I also think that you wrote those scenarios like you had bills due that night they were so good. I also frequently revisit it and I think it's the only one where wind's was actually my favorite, but legend's was also so fucking good I'm 50/50 on it still. Soulmate scenarios are self explanatory: I like soulmate au, you have soulmate au, stonks. It's the only one I listed that I don't really go back to as often, but it's so cute and I'm a weak person.

Honorable mention: prince! Sky scenarios you wrote, it has a really interesting story that kept me on the edge of my seat while also warming my heart (mainly cause it's Sky, how can he not?). Also the multi-part commission story (everyone pinky's commissions are open) Twilight my beloved 💛. Once again, I'm really weak for soulmate au, also you accidentally posting that part made me read the entire thing, where you promptly dropkicked my heart off the side of a cliff, I will be mailing you my medical bill. The story telling and suspense is really good and I encourage everyone to read it.

Bee!!! XD

I love the way you word things. Dropping kicking your heart off of a cliff? Writing like I had bills due? Where do you come up with this? XD

I have no idea where I was going with Prince! Sky so I'm glad that it's entertaining ^.^*

As well as all my other stuff, you know I love your reactions. <3

[sunniques]

— 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞

➺ PAIRING: jeon wonwoo x female reader

➺ GENRE: boyfriend’s dad au, smut

➺ SUMMARY: your boyfriend’s manipulative father helps you get revenge in the nastiest way possible.

➺ CW/TW: yandere themes, slight obsession, age gap, cheating, manipulation, baby trapping, dry humping, panty stealing, mentions of masturbation, wonwoo is a depraved perv, dilf!wonwoo, nipple play, spitting, fingering, some cum play, unprotected sex, squirting, creampies

➺ WC: 4k

NOTE: don’t like, don’t read. @wonustars hope you like it <3

Wonwoo is a sick man.

He knows this, he acknowledges it, and most importantly, he hides it.

When people thought of Jeon Wonwoo, they thought of a respectable lawyer, widower, loving father of two. And they were right. He had never done anything to indicate otherwise. Not publicly, anyway. For years he’s hidden his most depraved side without letting anyone know it existed.

His facade all starts to crumble when his son comes home from college with a lovely girl who he’s apparently head over heels for. Wonwoo recognizes the starry eyed look in his son’s eyes, and instead of being happy for him, all Wonwoo can feel is faint disgust and disdain. It’s pathetic and vile, but it’s a feeling that he can’t get rid of no matter what he does.

It gets worse when you start coming around more often, prancing around in your little shorts and skirts like Wonwoo doesn’t get hard just seeing your exposed skin. He’s sick for stealing your dirty panties when you come over and using them to jerk off, but again, he can’t stop his despicable actions. His obsession with you only grows as time goes on, and eventually he decides that he’s going to have you no matter what.

The first step in Wonwoo’s sick plan is showing you just how lavish life is with a man who can provide. He ruthlessly cuts his son off, insisting that getting out in the real world and being independent is necessary. It’s easy to ignore his son’s protests and clamors about how unfair it is that his sister doesn’t get the same treatment, mostly because he sees how fast this strategy works.

When he overhears his son tell you he actually can’t buy you the bag you’ve been wanting he can see the disappointment in your face. Wonwoo is smart enough to know it’s less about the bag and more about the seemingly empty promise. It makes sense since his son can no longer pay for your food or makeup or any clothes you like. His son can’t even get you lavish gifts you’d grown accustom to.

That’s why when your birthday rolls around, you don’t expect much. It’s perfect because you don’t expect to be spoiled which makes your reaction that much sweeter.

“Mr. Jeon!” You cry out in shock when you open the bag your boyfriend’s dad gave you. “I-I don’t know what to say! This is– I mean—Thank you!”

Not only did he gift you an expensive bag that his son had failed to give you, he also got you the biggest bottle of your favorite perfume, some clothes, and a very expensive necklace. Wonwoo smirked smugly when you hugged him, loving how you pressed your entire body against his. His son couldn’t have known, but he saw the way you started to look at him with less appreciation. Of course, it was only natural. After all, all women loved a man who could provide.

The next step was something Wonwoo couldn’t really be blamed for. All he did was have his coworker and her pretty daughter over for dinner when you were away visiting your family. He can’t be to blame for the fact that his son is a weak man who hasn’t truly accepted monogamy. Sure, he did push it along by leaving two college kids alone in a house full of liquor. And yes, he was responsible for them often meeting up whenever you weren’t around, but again, it wasn’t entirely his fault.

The final step to this long winded plan was making sure you found out.

Wonwoo is lucky his daughter has more of a moral compass than he and his son combined. The second she realized what was going on, she didn’t hesitate to tell you. Admittedly, he was saddened to know how heartbroken you initially felt. However, when he saw you again, you seemed void of that. All he could see was your thirst for revenge.

Luckily for you, he was more than willing to help you make that happen.

You still haven’t broken up with Wonwoo’s son, much to his annoyance. In fact, you’re acting like nothing’s wrong even when you come along to their vacation home during the summer. His son is hardly paying you any attention and his daughter has gone off with her friends somewhere, leaving you to your own devices.

“Hey, babe. I’m running to the store real quick. Need anything?” Your boyfriend asks without looking up from his phone.

Before, he would’ve insisted you go with him. Things change, but you don’t care. Not anymore.

“No thanks. Be safe.”

He doesn’t kiss you goodbye, and you’re glad.

Your eyes drift over to Wonwoo, appreciating how good he looks. The perfect idea for revenge had occurred to you a while ago, and with the older man quietly sipping on some liquor on the couch, you know there’s no better time than the present to set your plan in motion.

Boldly, you get up from where you’re sitting and slide onto Wonwoo’s lap. Your panties are already slick with your arousal as you sit directly on his crotch. Dark eyes look at you in surprise when you gently start to grind your panty-clad pussy down without any qualms. All you do is smirk seductively before you go to kiss and suck on Wonwoo’s neck.

“Sweetheart.” Wonwoo groans, cock already hardening because of the wet heat that’s pushing down on him. “What about—?”

“Your son’s an asshole.” You say bluntly. “And I want him to feel as shitty as I do.”

You pull back, expecting Wonwoo to push you off of him or tell you what you’re doing is wrong. Instead he only laughs and goes to kiss you. A quiet squeal escapes you when he starts to lick into your mouth. You’re quick to melt into the kiss, moaning into his mouth when Wonwoo starts to guide your hips down onto his covered cock.

The sound of a car door slamming has you pulling away. You smirk when Wonwoo groans in disapproval. The wet spot you’ve left on his pants only turns you on even more, and all you do is wink at him before running upstairs to the guest room he provided for you.

The rest of the evening goes by without incident, well except for the fact that your boyfriend got a little too drunk on wine and was now passed out on the couch. His sister only looks at him with disgust and announces that she’s going to bed. You know the truth. Earlier, she confessed that she was going to sneak out to go clubbing with her friends. This was perfect since you were going to need her gone to execute your plan.

“Goodnight, Mr. Jeon.” You purr as you stretch your arms over your head, noticing his eyes drift down you where your skirt had ridden up.

You don’t bother to hide your smirk as you go upstairs. As soon as you get to the room, you leave the door open, slipping out of your clothes and putting on a tiny night shirt that came just above your belly button. You get on the bed and settle on your side, cunt still thrumming with arousal. All you can think about is getting fucked raw by your boyfriend’s dad, and you hope he hurries up and gives you what you want.

Slowly, you slide your hand into your panties, teasing your fingers across your swollen clit. It’s easy to lose yourself to the pleasure. Especially since your mind can’t stop replaying what happened earlier in the day. God, was Mr. Jeon a good kisser. Way better than his pathetic son. You mewl quietly, wishing the ache between your legs was being soothed by someone else.

Wonwoo almost cums in his pants when he sees you on the bed. You’re only wearing a small shirt and panties, which makes it easy to see what you’re doing. He smirks, slowly undressing himself as he approaches you. It’s funny how you don’t notice him until he slides in right behind you.

“Need some help?”

You pussy throbs in excitement, and before you can answer him, you feel his hand slip down your body to cover the one you have in your panties. The mewl you let out makes his cock twitch and throb. Wonwoo holds back a groan, ready to have you in the way he’s dreamed of for months.

“You have to be quiet, sweetheart.” His breath fans against your ears. “I can’t have my kids walking in on us when we’re just getting started.”

You almost tell him his sweet little daughter is out partying with her friends so there’s no real reason to keep quiet, but you resist. After all, no one would be able stop you from fucking the insanely hot man playing with your pussy.

“So fucking wet.” Wonwoo whispers hotly. “What were you thinking about?”

“You.” It’s easy to admit, especially because you can tell how much he likes it. “And how fucking wrong this all is.”

Wonwoo hums, and it somehow seems like he’s gloating. His fingers circle your throbbing clit over and over until you’re squirming against him. “Maybe, but you like it. That’s why you’re dripping all over my hand. You like your boyfriend’s dad playing with your pussy that much, huh, baby?”

“Fuck yeah.” You hiss, eyes falling closed when he pinches your wet clit. “You’re so fucking hot, Mr. Jeon. Way better than your pussy ass son.”

Wonwoo’s dick presses against your ass as he rolls his hips to grind against you. Juices gush from your cunt as he groans into your neck. “I fucking knew it—I’ve always known it. Even before you were grinding your wet pussy on me.”

You bite your lip, slightly embarrassed that he knew you were attracted to him this entire time. It’s not like you can be blamed. He’s one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen, and obviously he felt some bit of attraction for you as well.

“Roll over and show me those pretty tits, baby.” Wonwoo rasps in your ear.

His words has more of your arousal coating his long fingers. You’re feeling hot all over, and you don’t hesitate to comply. You twist your body before you pull your shirt up to let your tits free. Immediately, your nipples harden under his dark gaze

“That’s it.” Wonwoo groans deeply as he rubs your pussy harder. “Prettiest tits I’ve ever seen. Fuck. Makes me want to suck on them until you’re creaming all over my fingers.”

You moan and arch your back into him. Wonwoo licks his lips and stops rubbing your pussy to pull off your panties. He grabs his cock and rubs it along your pussy. You cry out quietly when you feel his hot cock skip between your wet folds and drag against your clit and dripping hole. By now you’re panting, hips writhing from the stimulation. Wonwoo drags wet fingers up to pinch your taut nipples.

“You’ll let me suck on your sweet tits, won’t you, sweetheart?”

“Yes!” You agree immediately, feeling an arousing thrill when Wonwoo lets out a deep groan.

He twists your upper body some more until your back is against the mattress. Your hips are still twisted at an angle so his cock can keep rubbing against your pussy. The position isn’t uncomfortable, and you watch with anticipation as Wonwoo ducks his head to drag his mouth across the swell of your breasts. His eyes never leave yours when his mouth dips down to suck on one of your sensitive nipples. As you feel the hot wet suction, your eyes slip close with a whine.

You grind your cunt down on Wonwoo’s cock, dripping slick all over him. He moans against you nipple as he slowly drags his dick back and forth to stimulate you. The head of his cock leaks precum making your pussy messier and stickier. You drag your hand through Wonwoo’s hair, sighing and mewling as his hot mouth suckles on your hard bud.

“Fuck, just like that!” You mewl, arching your back to shove more of your tit into his mouth.

The next time he catches your gaze, you can see his pupils blown wide and a light blush spread across his face. It’s so attractive that more of your arousal drips onto his cock. Wonwoo then sucks a bruise on the curve of your breast, teeth gently digging into the soft skin. You gasp at the dull ache, pussy clenching around nothing.

“So fucking sweet.” His voice is low and raspy, tongue lapping at the bruise he left behind.

You whine and arch up into him more. “S-Shit, Mr. Jeon. This is so fucking dirty.”

He just grins at you wickedly, hips swirling against you so his cock brushes against your throbbing clit. Wonwoo starts to press wet kisses on your tits tenderly, dark eyes never leaving yours. “It is, and yet you still like it. That’s why you’re not trying to be quiet. You want my son to know your little pussy is aching for my cock.”

You moan loudly when he starts to roughly suck on your other nipple. He’s not bothering to keep his own moans quiet as he swaps back and forth between your nipples until they’re both puffy and sore. As he works his teeth and tongue on your hard buds, he grinds his cock up against your slick hole making you part your legs further.

“I know you want it, baby.” Wonwoo says after he’s satisfied with the marks he’s left on your tits. He rubs his leaking tip against your clit to hear you moan again. “Want me to split you open on my fat cock, hm? I’ll show you how a real man fucks.”

“Fuck—please.” You whimper desperately. “Need you to fuck me, Mr. Jeon.”

“Call me Wonwoo, sweetheart.” He groans as he gets up and positions you so you’re fully on your back.

You mewl when Wonwoo rests his dick on your stomach. The sight is dizzying in the best way—an arousing image of how deep he’ll reach inside you once he slides into your pretty pussy. His leaking tip is almost to your belly button, and he wishes badly that he could take a picture. Wonwoo licks his lips as slowly rubs his cock through your slippery folds, covering it with your juices. His fat tip brushes against your clit and makes you whine.

You moan when he eases his cockhead past your slick folds. The squeeze of your hot cunt is tight, and it makes Wonwoo roll his hips into yours, fucking himself deeper into your clenching pussy.

“Wonwoo!” You mewl, already feeling so full even though he’s not even all the way inside.

Just hearing you moan his name has him thrusting forward and burying his cock balls deep inside your wet pussy with a deep growl. You cry out loudly, tits bouncing at his roughness. Wonwoo’s large palm immediately covers your mouth, cock throbbing inside you.

“Shh, baby. You don’t want us to get caught do you? What would my son say is he walked in and saw his dad fucking his girlfriend’s tight little cunt?”

You moan against his hand, pussy clamping down on his dick tighter than before. Wonwoo clicks his tongue, slowly grinding deeper into you. The thought turns him on too, more than he would ever admit.

“Oh? You like that?” He hums as you buck your hips up to meet his slow thrusts. “What a dirty little slut.”

Wonwoo keeps your mouth covered as he slowly fucks your cunt. All you can focus on is how stretched open your pussy feels. You keep whining and moaning as he bullies his cock into your fluttering hole. Even though they’re muffled, the cute little noises you’re making are driving Wonwoo closer to the edge.

“You’re so fucking tight, sweetheart.” Wonwoo groans. “Feels like you’ve never had a cock this big stuffing your little pussy.”

Wanting to hear you, he removes his hand.

You shake your head before you moan out an answer. “You’re the biggest—fuck—I’ve ever had.”

Wonwoo’s cock twitches inside you as he goes to cover your mouth with his. You two share a series of wet kisses between your filthy moans. His thick cock keeps rutting into your squelching pussy and slamming into the spongy spot inside your cunt that makes you keep tightening around him. At this point your mind has gone fuzzy. All you can think about is the man on top of you and the orgasm coiling in the pit of your stomach thanks to him.

In the haze of skin slapping together and the arousing scent of sex, Wonwoo feels like he’s found heaven. He’s absolutely thrilled to have you how he’s wanted since he first saw you. After months of planning, he finally has you trembling on his cock. Wonwoo groans lowly when you squeeze even tighter around him. You whine, moving your hips to meet his thrusts.

Wonwoo smirks when he sees your fucked out expression. He can’t care that his son is passed out downstairs while he’s quite literally fucking his sweet little girlfriend’s brains out. It’s what you deserved after all the hell his idiot spawn put you through.

“Looks like you’re already addicted to my cock, baby.” His laugh is so attractive that it makes your pussy flutter.

A deep pleasure shoots up your spine as Wonwoo fucks you hard and deep, plunging his cock into your sopping cunt. You cry out his name, feeling a pleasure you never have before. His hand moves between your bodies to flick and rub your sensitive clit.

“God, sweetheart. Fucking love how your sweet cunt squeezes my cock.” He groans in delight.

Wonwoo’s fingers keep rubbing your sensitive clit until your back arches off the bed. Wet slapping and loud squelching fills the room as the coil in your stomach abruptly snaps. Your legs clamp around his slim waist at the same time your cunt tightens around his dick, milking him for all he’s worth as your arousal gushes around his throbbing length.

“That’s it, baby. Milk this fucking cock.” Wonwoo growls as his hands spread you open even more. “Fuck. I’m gonna fill you with my cum and watch it spill out of your pretty pussy.”

You whine out, wanting nothing more. “Yes! Fill my pussy with your cum!”

Wonwoo growls into your skin, ramming his dick straight into your sweet spot until he reaches his own climax. With a loud moan of your name, he spills his hot cum inside your cunt. Thick ropes of his seed paint your walls as he keeps stuffing you full until it leaks out around his cock.

It feels like you’re stuck in a blissful haze, and it’s only until Wonwoo slowly pulls out of you that you come back to your senses. His eyes are dark as he watches his cum slowly drip out of you. It’s an erotic sight, you’re sure, and you can’t help but want more.

“Wonwoo.” Your voice comes out in a sigh. “Think you can go again?”

The older man groans in his throat. You’re insatiable, and so is he. Fuck. He knew you were perfect for him.

“For you? Always.”

Your eyes roll back when the bulbous tip of his length nudges your tender pussy. Wonwoo smirks and presses forward. His aching cock penetrates you in one deep thrust. Large hands hold down your squirming hips as he sheathes his big cock to the hilt. Wonwoo groans when your juices spill around his girth. He leans back and lets a string of spit falls straight onto your pussy. The filthy action makes you moan wantonly.

“Your sweet little cunt is driving me crazy, sweetheart.” Wonwoo hisses as you clench around him.

Your hot cunt is pulsing and soaking his cock as if you’re claiming it as your own. It makes him smirk. Wonwoo keeps pounding into your creamy cunt until only lewd squelching and pornographic moans fill the room. He can’t even think about his son anymore. All he cares about is splitting you open and molding your tight pussy to fit the shape of his dick.

“You just love this cock, don’t you, baby?” Wonwoo moans.

“I do—Fuck. Feels so fucking good!” Your voice is loud, and you’re both beyond the point of caring. “I love your cock. Love how you fuck my little pussy.”

His fat cock is splitting you open deliciously, weeping tip reaching your cervix with every strong pound of his hips. You’re already close again, and you know this next orgasm is going to be more intense than the last. Wonwoo seems to feel it too because he keeps driving his cock into you savagely until your thighs are trembling around him. His cock is piercing directly into your g-spot then drawing out, letting you feel every vein before plowing back into your sopping mess. His rough thrusts never lose their strength or depth. Not when you scream and convulse around his cock.

“God, you’re such a nasty slut.” Wonwoo groans. “You don’t even care that your boyfriend can wake up any moment and find you dripping all over his dad’s cock.”

You manage to smirk at him. “He has no right to be angry. Not when you’re fucking me better than he ever did.”

Wonwoo smirks back at you, thrusting deeper if possible. Your depraved words make a sick thrill shoot straight to his cock. It turns him on more than it should. Dark eyes are glued to your sopping cunt. The sight of you stretching to take his cock is so hot that he almost cums right then.

“Oh my god!” You cry out as your pulsing walls constrict around the dick ramming into you.

You let out a loud cry when Wonwoo’s spit lands where you two are connected. A guttural groan escapes him when your pussy squeezes his throbbing cock and your juices spill all over him. You topple over the edge he’s been pushing you toward, squirting all over his cock and abdomen. Your release covers him, dripping down his cock and to his heavy balls.

“Cum in me!” You plead loudly. “Stuff me full again!”

Wonwoo’s fat cock keeps sliding along your convulsing walls. The tip of his cock slams into your spot unrelentlessly, making you see stars. You keep falling apart as the older man uses your body how he wants.

“Just look at your pretty little pussy, squirting all over this cock like you own it.” Wonwoo’s grin looks wolfish and unfairly attractive. “Now I have to fill your slutty pussy like I own it.”

Wonwoo groans your name deeply. His hips are flush between your thighs as he presses to the hilt, his fat cockhead rutting into your most sensitive spot. Your toes curl tightly as you scream out his name once again. All you can see, feel, and think about is your boyfriend’s dad. His hot cum fills you up, coating every inch of your wet walls, stuffing you to the brim.

The older man falls forward a bit and buries his face in your neck, biting your sweaty skin and fucking his cum deeper into you. In your aroused daze, you can’t recognize how intoxicated he is over the feeling of you and your tight cunt.

When Wonwoo finally he pulls out, his hand lands on your tingling core. He cranes his neck to watch his fingers enter your hole. Licking his lips, he gently fucks his cum back inside you and gently toys with your messy pussy. Growls rumble in his chest as his cum slips out of you and down to your smaller puckered hole. The sight makes his cock twitch and ache all over again.

“My cute little slut.” Wonwoo coos as you slowly start to drift off to sleep. “All nice and bred—just like I’ve always dreamed.”

You look precious while you sleep, and Wonwoo can’t help but feel completely satisfied that he came inside you while you were ovulating. His son was such an idiot for not cherishing you how you deserved, but it was for the best.

Now you were all his. Only his.

[heavyhand61]

I have prepared my dream (and probably unrealistic) time line for a feedee

Starting at the day then move in

First 6 months

All prior commitments will be cancelled (work, schooling, ect)

All social medial accounts that don't revolve around feedisum will be blanked out

There will be a push to sign you up for every available feedist community (more extreme the better

Daily calorie intake will sit around the 4000cal mark

Next 6 months

Contact with anyone not completely in support of your goal of immobility will be broken

You will have regular posts about your gains on any and all available feedist platforms

Any content that does not revolve around obesity and weight gain will be banned

An expected gain of 40-60lbs a year

First year

Trips from the house will be limited

Decreasing step limits will be applied

Most media will be replaced with feedist porn

10000cal minimum per day

1 funnel feeding per day

Increase rate of post of feedist content

Second year

Leaving the house will be disallowed

Trips from bed or couche will be severely limited

15000+ cal minimum per day

3 funnel feeding per day

Clothes will be disallowed

Only consumable content will be extreme feedist porn

Any communication on social media will be limited to extreme feeders and other pro death feedist feedees

Expected 100+ lbs per year gain

Third year

Any movement beyond 3 steps must be done by scooter or wheelchair

Minimum 4h of viewing extreme feedist porn per day

25000cal+ per day

Tube feeding is standard aside from the occasional food "treat"

Must spend 4+ hours a day tube feeding

Forth year

Involuntary immobility, you will be confined to bed regardless of current mobility status

35000+ Cal per day minimum, to be consumed primarily as fats and sugars cut with only a minimum of nutrition supplement

Every hour from wakeup to sleep will involve tube feeding and a constant stream of the most extreme feedist porn

Sleep will be deferred if calorie goal has not been met

Fifth year

24/7 live stream of you're immobile fourm

50000 cal minimum

All windows blocked, all clocks removed, no indicators of date or time

Feeding tube lives in your mouth

Diet is mostly fats

Sixth plus years (don't expect to survive this long)

No contact with outside world, other feedist included

24/7 feedist hypno playing for you

Feeding tube size increased and feed slop made even less healthy and even more fattening

Start of year calorie goal of 100000+ an additional 1000 a week to be added to the minimum every week for the rest of your life

Six years and I plan on taking you from a normal healthy person to the perfect feedee, no thought, no life, just growing, growing GROWING, all that matters is growing all that matters is more all that matters is your life cut short by obesity

[orcasoul]

Not My Man

Summary: Joel is accused of abusing you, and, oh hell no! You're having none of that!

Warnings: Swearing, injury, implied domestic abuse, use of Y/N.

Word Count: 4,132

"Ow, shit! That really stings." You wince and pull your head back as Joel lightly dabs a alcohol soaked cloth over your cheek. His hand slides behind your head pulling you back in, keeping you in place. "Quit squirming and it'll be done quicker," he tells you firmly yet softly, his big chestnut eyes fixed intently on the task at hand. You grudgingly obey, - keeping still despite the the burn of the alcohol seeping into the raw cut across your cheek - holding an ice pack over your eye on the opposite side. You just know it'll be black by tomorrow.

"How's the head? Feeling dizzy or sick at all?" It's the millionth time Joel has asked you this, and every time you have to reassure him. "I'm okay, Joel. Really," you stressed, but you can see the guilt and anger simmering within him flicker to the surface every time you try to make light of it all. "I shouldn't have let you go off alone. Fucking hell... if I'd been just a few seconds later you'd be-" Joel closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, both to calm his nerves and to avoid having to finish that sentence. Just the thought of losing you makes Joel want to rip his hair out in vexation.

"It's my fault," you try to reason, cupping Joels' scruffy cheek and forcing his eyes to meet yours. "I should have been paying closer attention. Don't you dare go blaming yourself." "You're never leaving my sight again," Joel declared, his voice low and determined. "Joel-" "I mean it Y/N! From now on when we're outside these walls I'm gonna be on your ass like your shadow!" You sigh, knowing there's no getting to through to Joel when he gets like this. So, you silently concede with a nod, mostly for his peace of mind.

After applying some antiseptic cream and a large plaster, Joel leans in to press a featherlight kiss over the sensitive gash and rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. "I could have lost you today, sweetheart." The ache in his voice stirred a deep ache in your chest in return. You place your hands over his own, which are now cradling your face. "But you didn't, and that's all that matters." It crushes your heart to see Joel so torn up over something no one could have seen coming, over something he couldn't have known.

But, here he is again; blaming himself for circumstances beyond his control. All you can do is comfort him and try to make him focus on the here and now and not on the "what could have been". Easier said that done, though when your mind keeps replaying that dreadful encounter. You could kick yourself for letting your guard down.

You and Joel had started to take Ellie out to prepare her for patrol duty, now that she'd turned 18. A small town about 5 miles west of Jackson seemed like the best option, given that the place mostly remained infected free at this time of year. Most of the wooden houses had collapsed in on themselves over the past two decades. Only brick buildings had survived the ravages of time and the elements, and even some of them looked to be on their last legs. Once it appeared the three of you were alone you'd proposed you split up to inspect the last few unchecked buildings, just to get it over with ASAP. The sooner you were all done, the sooner you could all get home and stop freezing your asses off out here.

Joel, of course, objected immediately but you brushed off his concern, insisting it was safe enough. Famous last words! While Joel and Ellie searched an old bank building, you'd turned you attention to a restaurant next door. You entered slowly, gun raised in front of you, head turning in every direction, ears pricked for any indication of company. The crunch of broken glass underfoot was deafening in the eerie silence.

As the moments wore on, you began to feel less tense, there being no signs of raiders or loners passing through, and if there were any infected in here, surely they'd have heard the scraping of glass as you'd entered. A thorough scan of the dining and kitchen area revealed no danger, luling you into a false sense of security. You absentmindedly lower your gun as you make your way to back room, which you assumed was an office. All you could think about was the hot bath awaiting you later on as you opened the door and walked through.

It all happened so fast after that. A ear splitting scream echoed through the room and before you could even turn to face it, you are tackled from behind, both yourself and the rotting corpse on your back tumbling over a desk and landing with a hard thud on the floor. The impact of your head hitting the ground sent the room spinning around you, but even through the haze, your body reacted instinctively, pushing the furious creature away from you by it's shoulders. It's putrid breath and brown teeth almost made you gag as you fought desperately to keep it's searching fungal tentacles away from your face.

You let out the loudest scream you possibly could, hoping Joel and Ellie would hear. Your gun had gotten lost during the skirmish so all you had to rely on right now was your own strength, which was waning by the second. Just when you felt like you couldn't hold out any longer a gunshot split the air and the infected fell to the side of you in a heap. Through the ringing in your ears you could hear Joel's frantic voice calling your name, his hands grabbing and pulling at you, checking you over for bites. "Holy shit! Is she alright? Is she bit?" Ellie asked breathlessly from over Joel's shoulder. "No, no... she's not bit. She's fine," Joel sighed in relief.

The fog in your head cleared, bringing you back to yourself and that's when you noticed how much your body hurt. A dull ache settled in your ribs where you'd landed, your head felt like it would explode at any moment and your cheek and opposite eye socket throbbed continuously. A warm, tickling sensation ghosted along your cheek. When you pulled your fingers away they were red and sticky. You can't even remember hitting your face on anything in all the commotion. "Joel..." you whimper, body trembling from fear and adrenaline. Before you could say another word, Joel pulled you into his arms, holding you against his chest in a crushing bear hug, a chorus of "You're safe, sweetheart" and "I've got you" repeating over and over.

You're snapped from the memory by Joel's weary sigh. "It's my job to protect you and I nearly failed... again." You're heart sank on his last word, knowing exactly what he meant by "again". Pulling back, you gently cup Joel's face in both hands, staring compassionately into his tormented eyes.

"Don't do that, honey. Please. It was my fault." you asserted, shaking your head. "I suggested we split up, I let my guard down. That's on me." Joel released a small, humourless laugh, clearly not about to relinquish any of the blame and it guts you; to see what your carelessness has caused. "But do you know what's all on you?" you ask, your tone softening. Joel shot you a quizzical look. You wave a hand over the front of your body, Joel's gaze following your gesture.

"Me... here, alive and well. You saved my life today. If it wasn't for you I'd be dead... or worse," you shudder at the thought. "So, you see, you didn't almost fail. You saved me and I love you for it." Joel exhaled long and slow, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. Joel lifted his hand to caress the back of your head and pulled you towards his face. His soft lips pressed against yours in a deep, lingering kiss. "I love you too, sweetheart, so damn much!"

The next morning as you, Joel and Ellie made your way towards the mess hall for breakfast, you can't help but notice the stares from passers-by. You were right about the black eye; the deep purple hue had bloomed overnight, the swelling causing your eyelid to slightly droop and a few bruises decorated your jaw. Even the area surrounding the bandage on your cheek was flushed red. You must be quite the spectacle right now. After collecting your food, the three of you joined Tommy and Maria at their table, as you do every morning, but this morning something felt... off.

A few times you could have sworn you'd heard yours and Joel's names mentioned in hushed tones, heads turning away from you quickly as you glance around. Joel and Tommy, being so deep in conversation, remained oblivious to the odd atmosphere, and Ellie was too busy shovelling food in her mouth - like it was her last ever meal - to pay attention to her surroundings. Maria, however picked up on your unease, also noticing the excessive looks and whispers in the hall. She looked to you, eyebrows raised in silent question, to which, you could only shrug in response.

Once you had finished your meal, you got up to take your tray to the used area, setting it down on the pile. Just as you turned to walk away you hear your name being called by Millie - one of the serving ladies. With her short, dumpy stature and short grey hair, she gave off the classic warm granny vibe. She's also a renowned gossip around town. "Are you okay, dear?" she asked in a breathy whisper. "Um... yeah?" You weren't really sure what she meant at first. When you noticed her concerned eyes darting all over your face you suddenly remember how ghastly you look. "Oh this..." you wave at your face, casually. "I got jumped by an infected yesterday. Knocked my face pretty bad but I'll be fine."

Millie didn't answer for a few seconds, her eyes flicking to your table, then back to you. "Are you sure?" she finally spoke, even quieter than before. "Of course." you tilt your head, wondering why she's acting so weird. "It's just..." Millie bit her bottom lip, nervously. "If you need someone to-" "Millie? Can you help me out in her for a minute?" came a shout from the kitchen. "I've got to go. You take care," she smiled sympathetically before rushing off into the kitchen, leaving you bewildered. "What the hell was that?" you muttered under your breath before returning to your seat.

Later that afternoon you were alone in the house when you heard a knock on the door. Maria stood on the other side, and one look at her face told you this isn't a social call. "Hi, can I speak to you?" she asked. "Sure, come in." You opened the door fully and stood aside, allowing her in. "Is everything okay?" you asked sitting on the settee opposite her. "Maybe I should be asking you that." "What?" Maria cleared her throat and shifted, uncomfortably. "Is... everything okay... between you and Joel?" "What do you mean? Why would there be something wrong?" you queried, taken aback at such an abrupt question.

"Look, if you don't feel safe enough to talk about it-" "Talk about what? What exactly are you insinuating?" You don't like how this sounds one little bit, but you want to hear her say it before you possibly jump to conclusions. Maria sat forward, looking you dead in the eye. "Y/N... did Joel do this to you?" There it is; what you were hoping she wasn't going to say. "Of course he fucking didn't!" You sprang to your feet, fists clenched at your sides. "You know what happened. I reported it yesterday when we got back!" "I know but-" "How could you even think Joel would do such a thing!" Maria raised her hands in a show of surrender.

"I'm sorry. It's just I heard he might have been... hurting you and as a member of the council I had to investigate. I'm also your friend," she continued, "and I just had be be sure." You can feel the blood in your veins boiling as the seconds tick by. "Who the hell has been spreading bullshit like that?!" "There have been rumours going around-" "Rumours!" you scoff. "And you believed them?" Maria stood up slowly, counteracting your indignation with calmness. "I'm not saying I believe them-" "It's obvious you do or why would you be here?"

"I just needed to know. We both know that Joel can be volitile-" "Oh trust me, I know how Joel can be. I travelled across the country with him, remember. I know what he's capable of and I also know what he would NEVER do! He'd never hurt anyone he loves. Your head is now throbbing from the anger bubbling under your skin, but you just can't stop yourself. "He's never laid a finger on me or Ellie and I won't have anyone spreading vicious lies like that!' "He's killed innocent people before. How can you be sure one day he won't-" That's fucking it, the last straw!

"Do you trust Tommy?! Do you fear what he might do one day?" you throw back at her, sarcastically. "Because Tommy killed innocent people too, or have you conveniently forgotten that?" Maria's demeanour hardened slightly at your judgement of her husband. Good. Now she knows how it feels. "Tommy was just following Joel's lead." "Oh don't give me that bullshit!" you snapped in frustration. "He's a grown ass man capable of making his own decisions, and he chose to do that. You can't keep making excuses for him, but still hold it against Joel." Maria remained silent, seeming to realise the truth of your words. You inhale a calming breath before continuing.

"Maria, you've got to let go of this constant animosity you feel for Joel. Yes, he's made some wrong choices in the past, but he's not that man anymore... just like Tommy isn't. And wether you like it or not he's your family now. If not for Joel's sake, do it for Tommy's. Joel means the world to him and you know it." After a few tense seconds Maria nodded slowly, looking slightly abashed. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. As a council member it's my job to keep the peace in Jackson, so I had to ask..." she steps closer to you, taking your hand in hers.

"As your friend, I believe you. I can see how much you love Joel. No one would be so fiercely protective over someone who hurt them." Your shoulders sag as the tension drains away. "Thank you." "You also make a fair point," Maria says. "It's true I've never been Joels biggest fan, and maybe I have been a bit harsh on him," she rubbed the back of her neck, awkwardly. "I'm sorry. I'll try to... make things right with him, I promise." You squeeze her hand back. "That's all I ask."

"So, we'll see you tomorrow for breakfast?" The sincerity and hope in her voice, softened you up a bit. "Sure, see you then," you smiled at her. Maria began to walk towards the door but stopped when you called her name. "If you hear anymore gossip-" "I'll be sure to set the record straight," She interjected. "Thank you." When the door closed and you were alone once again, you slumped back down into the settee, leaning your head over the back, bringing your hands to your face in exasperation.

The weak winter sun began to dip behind the mountains, casting looming shadows in the streets of Jackson. Joel was due home from maintenance duty any minute, so you put the kettle on to make him a cup of coffee before you head out together for dinner at the mess hall. Worry had been plaguing you all afternoon. You just hope word of these rumours hasn't reached joel's ears. As Joel entered the house - tired but otherwise in good spirits - you felt your worry settle, knowing he's none the wiser or he would have, rightfully, been a murderous mood.

The last thing you want is for Joel to have to deal with hearsay from sad busybodies with nothing better to do with their lives. If you can discreetly nip this in the bud without Joel having to know, that would be for the best. Joel sauntered into the living room after kicking his boots off, sitting down with a groan. Even though his back ached and knees creaked, he relished in the deep satisfaction that came at the end of a hard day's work. He never though he'd have the opportunity to live a normal ( well, as close to normal as you can get) life again.

Instead of smuggling and scraping to get by on a day to day basis, he now has the chance to do something honest and meaningful, and he'll never take that for granted again. "Hey honey," you greeted joel as you sat next to him, handing him his favourite tawny owl mug. "Thanks, darlin'," he smiled and kissed your forehead. You watched as he closed his eyes, savouring the rich flavour of coffee as he swallowed. "You look tired," your voice was a gentle whisper as you ran your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck, knowing how it soothes him. "I'm okay," he said, stifling a yawn.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?" Joel gently brushed your hair behind your ear, examining your your face. "I'm fine. The swelling's actually starting to go down now." Joel smiled, relieved. He still blames himself for what happened but any indication that you're recovering is music to his ears. "MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLES!" You both jumped half a mile in the air as Ellie barged through the front door, slamming it so hard behind her the whole thing rattled. "Whoa, whoa, easy. What happened?!"

Joel rushed over to Ellie, his shoulders tensing and fists balling. You've seen that posture many times on the journey here. A posture that screams "I will kill anyone who hurt you". "Stupid people running their fucking mouths. That's what fucking happened!" Ellie seethed as she ripped her jacket off and flung it on the floor. Oh god, Ellie. Please don't! "What the hell ya goin' on about?" Joel drawled, his Texan accent thickening as it always does when he's upset. "Oh you didn't hear? Well, you would have soon enough. People have been going around saying you gave Y/N those bruises."

"What the fuck?!" Joel roared, the muscles in his shoulders and arms visibly straining as anger flooded his body. Joel looked back to you, a mixture of disbelief and fury contorting his features. You dash over to him, resting a hand on his arm in support. "Joel, please ca-" "What the hell is wrong with people!" he continued to rant looking between you and Ellie. He felt sick to his stomach that anyone would even entertain the idea the he would hurt you. "I'll fucking kill whoever said that," he mumbled in an ominously dangerous tone as he began pacing back and forth. "I'll rip their goddamn tongues out for them. I'll make sure-"

"Joel!" Reaching out, you grab both of his shoulders, forcing him to stop and snap out of this manic descent he had slipped into. When his eyes landed on yours, the darkness swirling within them, melted away, replaced with a devastation that almost made you cry. Joel brought his hands to cup your face. "Darlin', you know I'd never do that." "You don't have to tell me that, honey." Joel brushed a thumb over your cheek, sighing and shaking his head. "Did you know?" You nod, pressing your lips together in a thin line. "Yeah. I was hoping to put an end to it without you having to know."

"What do you mean?" Joel asked, his brow furrowing. "Maria came by earlier..." Joels face slid into a cold stare. "Of course she did," he huffed with disdain. "Oh don't worry, honey. I had a few choice words for her. I told her, well, practically screamed at her that you'd never do such a thing. And if she hears anymore talk, to shut it down." "Even when the world goes to shit, people still love a gossip," Joel spat the last word out like it was a bad taste on his tongue. "So, did she believe any of it?" he asked, his expression hardening once more.

"I think at first she did." Joel rolled his eyes. "But after I corrected her," - you emphasized the word corrected - "She believed me." Joel huffed with scepticism. "Joel, I don't want you to worry about this okay. I'll take care of it." "We both will!" Ellie, who'd been watching the whole exchange in silent anger, piped up. "We're not gonna let them drag your name through the mud. I'll make them fucking eat it first!" You couldn't help but chuckle at Ellie's choice of words.

"Ellie, as much as I would love to see that... and help you, we can't just go around roughing people up. There's rules here for a reason, unfortunately," you muttered the last part under your breath. "So... what? We just sit back and let them slander Joel!" Ellie threw her hands in the air in irritation. "Absolutely not!" you retorted, determination settling into your voice." We show them just how wrong they are." Joel placed his hands on his hips, a typical stance for him when he's stressed. "And how exactly do we do that?" he asked, sounding defeated.

"By presenting a united front. We make them see how strong and happy we are, all of us..." You look to Ellie, then back to Joel. "We show them there's nothing to hide or be ashamed of, and then they'll have nothing to yap about." Taking Joel's hand, you give it a reassuring squeeze. "And if I hear just one more person bad mouthing you, I'll make sure they regret it." Joel's face softend into a grateful smile. He's not convinced he's worth such loyalty and devotion, but he can't deny the warmth spreading through his chest at the thought of his girls so eager to defend him. It's an odd feeling for him, as he's used to being the protector. He could secretly get used to this.

"It'll be okay. I promise," you say, not letting go of Joel's hand. "We've got your back, old man." Ellie slapped Joel on the back, drawing a chuckle from him. "Not that old, you little shit," he replied in mock offense. "Now... let's go," You moved to grab your coat and boots. "The mess hall is open and I'm starving."

On the way to dinner, you found yourself paying close attention to everyone you passed, noticing a few side eye glances and disapproving looks. And every time, you pulled Joel's arm further around your shoulder and nestled closer into his side, a silent sign to the doubters that you feel no fear or discomfort in his embrace, as you would expect from an abused victim. Dinner wasn't as bad as you were expecting. Maybe Maria's influence with the townsfolk is to thank for that.

However a few inevitable glimpses were thrown in your direction. A middle aged couple made the mistake of allowing their eyes to linger on you for too long as they passed your table and you just couldn't let that slide. "Something you want to say to us?" you narrowed your eyes at them, daring them to open their mouths. Joel's arm snaked it's way around your waist, his jaw ticking as he too, stared them down. The woman's colour left her puffy face, while her husband forced a placating smile.

"Um... uh no, no." You smiled smugly at the alarm the old man was trying and failing to keep from his voice. "Good. keep it that way," Joel growled. The nervous couple looked at one another and hurried on by. Ellie smirked, "Fuck yeah, man! That's how it's done." "Damn right," you agreed, triumphantly. You could feel Joel's whole body relax around you and you gave him a "we've got this" look.

It may take longer than you'd like for all this nonsense to die down, but no matter how long it takes, you'll prove Joel's innocence, one way or another. You remember a saying from "Before"; "it's not all men", and if it's the last thing you do, you're going to make damn sure everyone knows it's certainly not your man!

[northopalshore]

Dorotheus Of Sidon:

Predicting the number of children you'll have

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

This post is based on a DM I got recently, I didn't have time to explain to them as clearly as possible so I thought it would be interesting to touch on a Dorotheus of Sidon method; derived from writings in Carmen Astrologicum specifically to predict the number of children you'll have. Masterlist

──────────୨ৎ───────────

This is a brief post explaining how the method is used to predict the number of children one will have.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

♀Step 1:

•So to begin, look at the sign your Jupiter is in. Then look for their triplicity lords ; It’s an old concept, similar but less "impactful" compared to domicile, exaltation, exile and fall.

•This is a Hellenistic/medieval astrology method, so it's done using WHOLE SIGNS. Other than that Pluto, Chiron, Neptune & Uranus will not be taken into account for the calculations.

♀Step 2:

•Determine the triplicity lords (rulers) of said sign & it's order according to your chart (day vs night) .

For example, if your Jupiter is Aries and Sun is in the 7th-12th house (day chart) Your triplicity rulers are Sun-Jupiter-Saturn while if your sun is in the 1st-6th house (night chart) it's Jupiter-Saturn-Sun.

──────────୨ৎ───────────

Here is a reference chart you can use; from Anthony Louis (Astrology & Tarot blog).

Fertile signs & sterile (non-fertile) signs (top)

Fairly fertile signs & fairly sterile signs (bottom)

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

♀ Rules:

According to Dorotheus, fire signs & earth signs are "sterile", water signs are considered fertile & air signs are.. somewhere in the middle. HOWEVER , please stick to the chart above on this matter for the sake of calculation.

If Mars or Saturn is present in any of the signs from the AC to the triplicity lord, that will signify a loss or miscarriage.

If Jupiter or Venus is present then the chance of having children is doubled. The same can be said if the sign is double bodied (Pisces, Sagittarius, Virgo,Gemini). Could also mean twins.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

♀Step 3:

•To determine where you start applying this concept, look at where your triplicity lords & determine which one is stronger (day vs night).

•For example, with an Aries Jupiter in a day chart Sun is more dominant than Jupiter. From there, count the number of signs from the ascendant to the dominant triplicity lord.

♀Step 4:

•Determine whether those signs are in good placement or not (refer to the sterile vs fertile chart given).

♀Timing:

The timing of this method is rather vague, but it does give an estimate. If the triplicity lords are in the ascendant or midheaven, (assuming they are fertile & benefic) then the native will have a child in their youth which is like 20s to early 30 (personally, I believe if Part of Fortune is present it will also indicate this).

On the other hand, if these lords come after the 1st house towards the 7th or even 8th house then they're likely to have a child in their middle ages (during/after late 30s).

William Lilly also has a method of predicting timing (mostly answering the question whether the individual will get pregnant/a child that year or now). Though, I'm not really going to touch on the "timing" topic in this post.

♀Examples:

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson has 3 children (that we know of). His Jupiter is Libra & he has a night chart. His triplicity lords are Mercury -Jupiter-Saturn. Mercury is stronger than Saturn so we'll count from the AC to his mercury ( following the zodiacal order) so there are 5 signs ; Aquarius, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Scorpio & Libra.

However, Capricorn is sterile & Saturn is in Sagittarius. So that leaves Scorpio, Aquarius & Libra. Three children.

Still don't understand? See simplified version here.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Beyoncé

Beyoncé has Jupiter in Libra, and she has a day chart so her triplicity lords are Saturn- Mercury- Jupiter. Saturn is stronger than Mercury here. So we'll be counting from the ascendant to her Saturn.

There's just 1 sign; Libra because it's in the same house. However, she has Saturn, Jupiter & Venus here. Jupiter and venus are benefic planets which indicate double children or twins. (2 for each sign) however, since saturn is here one may not manifest. She lost her first child to a miscarriage (saturn influence). So, there are 3 left. She has one daughter and two twins.

Note: usually if the triplicity lord is in the ascendant, there will be no children/one child depending on the sign (especially if saturn is present) however, that also depends on the other planets occupying this house as well as the sign it's in.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Northopalshore (gaia)

Predicting my children; My Jupiter is also in Libra. I have a day chart. My Jupiter triplicity lords are Saturn-Mercury-Jupiter.

Saturn is stronger than Mercury, so I'll be counting from my ASC to Saturn. There are 7 signs; Aquarius, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Libra, Virgo & Leo.

Capricorn, Virgo & Leo are sterile. Mars is in Scorpio. So there's Sagittarius (w venus), Aquarius, & Libra. So I'll likely have 3-4 children. With a possible miscarriage because of mars. Also since I have Saturn in my 5th house ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ.

(I thought I'd have like 1-2 but I guess that's what you get for being nasty.)

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

***disclaimer: educational purposes only, reader discretion is advised***

Thanks for reading ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

@northopalshore

@northopalshore children in astrology 2024.

[literatooru]

𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮

pairing: gn!reader x nanami kento

note: check out my masterlist for part 2!

“I’ve been thinking,” Nanami says suddenly.

His voice is quiet but it still manages to startle you a little. You look up from the cutting board to glance at him as you give a soft hum to indicate you’re listening.

“I could tell.” You focus back on the matter at hand, the only sound filling the kitchen being that of the knife hitting the wood. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him place the peeler on the counter and rest his hip on the edge, arms crossed over his chest and head slightly tilted to the side as he examines your face.

“You could?”

“Yeah. You keep doing the… frowning thing,” you mutter, gathering some of the carrot cubes and tossing them in a bowl before continuing with the rest. 

“The ‘frowning thing’,” he repeats.

“Yeah,” you say again. “You know, I’ve heard your face might get stuck like that if you keep it up.” Nanami gives a soft laugh accompanied by a shake of his head, and he sighs as his hands move up to interlock behind his neck. “Also, that’s three sighs in a row. So, tell me, Kento. What’s keeping you up at night?”

“You,” he murmurs.

Your hands don’t cease their chopping even when your head snaps up to narrow your eyes at him, a reproachful look on your face.

“Okay, I did not hear any complaints last night when we were—”

“First of all, don’t take your eyes off the knife when you’re using it,” he says just as his hand shoots down to rest on top of yours to stop its movements. “It’s dangerous. And I didn’t mean that, I meant… us. This.” He gestures at the space between your two bodies.

You jut your bottom lip out in a pout Kento thinks is the cutest thing ever, and he has the sudden urge to kiss it away. He doesn’t.

“Is that a bad thing?” you ask, your voice dropping to a whisper right when you feel the anxious knot in your stomach starting to form.

“No,” he says reassuringly. When you still refrain from looking at him, he takes a step closer and takes your chin between his index and thumb to turn your face to him. “Hey, it’s not a bad thing. Quite the opposite.”

“Well, the way you’re saying it is making me think that maybe you want to—”

“Get married?” he interrupts you. Your lips part in surprise and you blink twice, three times while gathering your thoughts. “Because that’s what I was thinking.”

Get married? Kento wants to marry you? It’s a little shocking, to be honest. Despite having dated for years, Kento and you have never talked about the future, really. At least, not that kind of future. Does he mean it? What about everything else? His job?

“You want to get married,” you say, and it comes out as more of a statement than a question.

“Yes. If… that’s what you wan too,” he replies, and there’s a little hesitance on his face. 

Nanami’s hand starts to withdraw, and your hand shoots up to clasp his wrist. He looks confused, embarrassed, and a little hurt, all in equal parts. Don’t you want the same? He was pretty sure you did. Did he read everything wrong?

“I want to. God, you have no idea of how much I want to,” you whisper with a nervous laugh. You’re totally not about to cry. Sure, this isn’t a proposal, but it’s really damn close to being one. “But what about… you know?”

“I’m quitting,” he says. Kento’s answer is simple and resolute. He understands he can’t really have both you and his current job, if anything for the sake of your peace of mind. There’s nothing more terrifying than kissing him goodbye without knowing if it’ll be the last time you see him. “I’m done with being a sorcerer. This time for good.”

Sure, being a sorcerer sucked a little less than his previous job, and at least he could help people. If Nanami has to give it up to be with you though; really be with you — he’ll do it in a heartbeat.

“Are you sure?”

He smiles and leans forward to place a tender kiss on your forehead, the warmth of his lips leaving your skin tingling even when they’re not on it anymore.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life. My future is with you.”

You laugh softly, relief flooding your body. You won’t have to worry about his safety ever again. You sigh as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, his arms automatically wrapping around your waist to pull you as close as possible.

“I love you, Nanamin,” you whisper, your warm breath tickling the skin of his neck.

Kento gives a small huff, although a smile eventually makes its way onto his face. He takes a deep breath, instantly relaxing when your scent fills his senses, and his arms tighten around your body a little more.

“I love you, angel.” He pulls back to look at you, then leans down to place a kiss on your lips, then on your cheek, and then on your nose. “I’ll do it after Shibuya. I won’t leave you alone ever again.”

[propertyofhenrywinter]

Long live the walls we crashed through

Max Verstappen x driver!reader

Summary: you are involved in a crash so horrid everyone assumes you couldn’t have survived.

WC: just under 2k

You honestly didn’t know what exactly had happened yourself. You remember when everyone was waiting for the rain to end, so the race could begin. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like the downfall was going to stop anytime soon. All drivers were instructed to wait on the starting grid, so you and Charles, who was starting P5 next to your P6, where keeping each other entertained by playing some stupid game involving a lot of hand gestures. “Okay, I’ve just received word they are going to try and start the race despite the wet conditions.” your engineer’s voice interrupts you while you here trying to gesture a horse to Charles. “What? In this weather? Are they sure?” What you really had wanted to ask if they were plotting to murder one of the drivers or if they were just plain stupid. You look over at Charles as you saw his body language change, you assumed he had just gotten a similar message. “They gave us some vague reasons about the fans waiting and keeping the fight for the championship as exciting as possible,” your engineer explained.

The race had started out boring, slow, and mainly wet. None of drivers really felt secure while driving so there were almost no overtakes, no battles for a better place, nothing to entertain fans. Not that you thought that mattered considering you were quite sure the track wasn’t even visible from the stands thanks to the rain. However, between lap 4 and 5 the conditions started to better and some battles emerged on the track and positions started changing. You had managed to overtake both Charles and George, leaving only a certain Aston Martin driver standing between you and a place on the podium. The weather was almost dry at that moment, but you didn’t realise, no, you were only focused beating Alonso and joining your boyfriend on the podium. (Because let’s be honest best-case scenario: he was first, again. Worst case? Second) What you also failed to notice was a red car behind you disappearing to pit for slicks, because his team was so sure it would stay dry.

Although what had occurred after happened in a blitz, you could still remember that part as well. The Ferrari driver had just joined the track again and was being separated from you by George, when suddenly, the rain came back. It didn’t start with a drizzle, no warning droplets, just from zero to one hundred faster than any f1 car could. You vision was now reduced to that of a senior mole, giving you indication about the location of the driver in front of you. Lucky for you, you were familiar with the track at this point, so you didn’t worry about crashing yourself, but an invisible man in front of you was plenty of worry. You could hear your radio turning on, but you never heard what your teams plan of action was.

Because unbeknownst to you Charles, his brand-new slicks, the rain, and a nasty sharp turn steered his car into the young Mercedes driver. It was only a slight, soft touch. Just a tick. A little nudge if you must name it. But in those bad conditions George started to spin. But before he had started to spin and before he had been touched by the Ferrari, he had shortened the distance between the two of you by quite a lot. So, when he spun it took less than three seconds to feel his car touch something again. Now this wasn’t a nudge this is where your memory gets a little hazy.

George’s car spun into you. You lost control as well. You went through a wall. You flipped upside down. The car broke in two. Fire. Lots of fire. You got out.

You got out. You don’t remember how you did it, but you lived, and you were standing next to the burning vehicle. Half in shock from what happened you couldn’t deter your eyes from the flames you were a part of moments ago. You stood there in complete stillness contrasting your team’s garage at the same time.

“Max please come in, red flag.” “Yeah, I thought I saw something in my mirrors. I saw some yellow tints. Was that fire? Is everybody OK?”  “Just come in, please, we’ll explain then.”

Max jumped out of his car once he reached his team garage, where it was unusually quiet. “What happened? Why didn’t you tell me over the radio?” Max already started asking his questions before he had even pulled his balaclava all the way off, so his words sounded more like scrambled mumbles. Not that it really mattered; his team knew what he wanted to know. “Wait, why did only I get called in?” he asked once he noticed your car wasn’t on the other side of the garage, where it usually would be if you had to wait out a red flag. Max averted his gaze from the empty spot to the mechanics, who gave each other looks as if to say “I’m not saying it. You do it.” “Max,” he heard Horner trying to catch his attention. Normally the presence of the team principal would make him wonder what was bad enough that he had to intervene himself instead of sending someone else to deal whit whatever the issue was. Right then, however, he didn’t have to wonder. His eyes had caught the screens behind the engineers displaying a view of the track. This wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary if it wasn’t for your car. Specifically, the back side of your car; he couldn’t see the front, but he assumed it must have gone through the barrier. “Along with you,” he couldn’t stop himself from thinking. Due to the fire, he couldn’t see or estimate the severity of the crash, but it did not look good. “You have her vitals, right?” he asked Horner, who had been tuning out ‘til now. “Well,” the principal began. “You’ve talked to her through the radio. Please. Tell me you know she’s alright.” Max said more as a question. At the lack of response his head started spinning. “We haven’t been able to contact her yet. No input about her vitals has come in since the crash.” Max stopped listening after that and just bolted to his driver’s room. Shutting the door behind himself, he was glad none of his team members tried to follow or stop him. Tears were already forming in his eyes while he turned on the small tv to be able to check on any updates regarding your crash.

Meanwhile you were already on your way to the team’s garage. You were surprised that no reporters intercept you on your way there, but you figured they were just focused on the crash site. You knew you should’ve gone to the medical centre first, but you felt fine and cared more to let everyone know you were alright. As you made your way trough the paddock, you start to wonder if people knew you got out of the car. They didn’t, you had no way of knowing this of course but at that time fire marshals were busy putting the fire out.

Max was watching them on the screen in his room, trying not to think about you in there. He almost threw up at the idea that you were still in there and that you might never come out, or that you might already be gone. He really didn’t want to, but he just couldn’t stop his mind frow straying to thought about waking up without you beside him, having dinner alone, never getting to complain about your shoes lying in the middle of the hallway again. His thoughts were about to make him physically sick when there was a nock on the door. He really didn’t want to be disturbed so he didn’t even bother responding. Another few nocks got ignored until he got fed up and shouted, “Leave me alone.” His request however got denied as a male voice sounded from the other side of the door. “We have an… update on the crash.” Max recognized the voice as one of the mechanics who was in the garage earlier. Although he was pissed off that he hadn’t been left to sulk in his misery alone, he was intrigued by the news, since there had been no new information shared on the broadcast he had been following on his TV. He also got scared, considering it was most likely that whatever it was it wouldn’t be good.

You were chatting to a still slightly worried Horner when you heard someone rapidly approaching you. You turn your head to see Max walking towards you with an unreadable expression on his face. “Hi,” you said softly right before he reached you. When he did, he just looked at you for a split second and then pulled you in his arms. He put is head in the crook of your neck, pulling you up to your tippy toes to reach it, and held his arms so tight around you that you believed it would leave a permanent indentation in your ribcage. “Let’s go somewhere more private,” you suggested, suddenly feeling the eyes of everyone around you burning in your back. “Okay.” Max said before almost dragging you into your driver’s room, considering it was a little closer by than his. He shut the door behind you and was back beside you before you could even bat an eye. “Are you alright?” he asks as he takes your face in both his hands. “I’m fine.” You pull one of his hands away from your face and just hold it. “You really scared me,” he said right before he pulled you in for a hug. “Well, I didn’t mean to,” you respond. “Just don’t ever do that again,” he says while he starts placing soft kisses on your face and head. “Wasn’t planning on it,” you scoff before pulling him in for a real kiss. You two stand there for a while, just holding each other, before you decide to rejoin the paddock.

“For a moment I really thought I killed you,” George confesses. Every knew you survived the seemingly survivable crash and the mood throughout the whole track was a lot less heavy than it had been a few minutes before. “It wasn’t your fault, you know that. Even if something worse would’ve happened I wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for a single second,” you explain. “It’s a risk we all take every time we get into that car and we’re all very much aware of it,” you add. “And it isn’t like I could leave anyway,” you smile. “why’s that?” George asks. “I mean who would play gestures with Charles before the races?” you look over at Charles before getting cut off by your boyfriend’s voice. “It’s not our fault you two won’t explain your made-up game to anyone else,” he protests. In response you and Charles give him a universal recognized obscene gesture while laughing to yourselves. While the conversation takes another turn you take some time realizing how lucky you are; not just for surviving the crash but for the amazing life you had. You wrap your arms around Max and lean you head against his upper body. “What is this for?” he asks but wastes no time in returning the gesture also wrapping his arms around you. “Do I need a reason to show I love boyfriend al of a sudden?” you playfully say. Max just smiles and says, “I love you too.”

Part 2

AN: So, this was my first ever fanfic so fee back and corrections are more than welcome. Also, I do have an idea for a part two so lmk if you would like that.

[anlian-aishang]

Levi with an (Episodically) Depressed S/O

Tags: levi x reader, angst, hurt-comfort, gn!reader Word count: 900

Levi invites you to shower with him, making the obstacle less daunting and much more attractive. In his black robe, leaning on your bedroom door, two towels slung over his arm indicate the knowledge that you will say yes and accompany him. The way that he looks, the low plea in his voice, how could you say no? 

It would be more accurate to say that he was bathing you, but he does not phrase it that way. Instead, he is humble, letting his actions speak louder than words. He does not tell you that he will shampoo your matted hair, does not flaunt how deliberately he exfoliates your limbs, he just does them for you. Some days, even just tipping the bottle or pumping some soap into your hand can seem mountainous. On those days, he sees those activities not as tasks, but as privileges. It is his honor to be the one looking after you in your most dire time. He would always prefer someone to take care of rather than someone to miss. 

Showering together not only ensures that you stay clean, but his company prevents you from those timeless sessions sat on the tile floor. At the moment you look refreshed but before you become sleepy, he jerks the handle to the left and halts the devastatingly relaxing rain. 

Always, your clean clothes are already folded atop the bathroom counter, waiting for you. Some times, you fail to remember that you did not put them there. Other times, you notice the sign of his relentless consideration, but are artificially silenced from expressing your gratitude. No matter in his mind. You are clean, clothed, and out of bed, and that’s already better than you were before. 

Without one complaint, Levi scoops your dampened towel and old clothes from the wet bathroom floor and drops them in the hamper for you. He has seen the piles that can amass, and if it were anyone else in any other circumstance, the clean freak would be quick to chastise, but any sight or thought of you disintegrates any instinct to discipline. You are sat in the living room, admiring the ivy that swirls around the balcony’s posts, thumbing the petals of the bouquet vased on the coffee table. White-gold rays move just a tad west to cast your figure in therapeutic light. You’re too tired to move away from the sun, and for once, Levi finds your fatigue favorable. As the morning temperature rises, he can see that your resting smile does as well. 

While you are entranced with the scenes of summer, Levi swiftly searches for and alleviates the areas you have left neglected. He dumps your sock drawer upside down and mends the pairs that you have discarded as singles. In your closet, he finds the clean pile and dirty pile and either folds it or washes it accordingly. Under your bed, on your nightstand, in your bedside drawer, he discovers the dirty dishes that have been missing the sink and returns them to their proper place. 

Between those tasks, he rolls his shoulders back or rubs the side of his neck and allows himself to sigh. It is difficult - not to bandage these tiny wounds - but to see the harsh bruises left by the illness. Sure, you were forgetful, and not quite as tidy as he was, but still - the mounds of laundry, hidden dirty dishes - this wasn’t like you. Levi lives for your joy - not the superficial smile, your peace - not the misleading silence. He lives for you - in sickness and in health. The times you forget your worth, that is when he whispers it in your ear. When the world is overwhelming you, he lets his touch communicate it. 

Once your space is in order, he can start to work on getting you to leave it. Rather than annoying reminders or obligations, he mindfully manipulates the steps of treatment into desirable invitations. Rather than Do you want to… or Would you like to…, his proposals are statements, taking the responsibility out of your hands. Concerts in the park this afternoon. Let’s go to the farmers market. Apple orchard just opened.

Or even less far away. 

Plants look thirsty, water them with me? Rain just cleared, read on the porch with me? Full moon tonight, stargaze with me?

To you, with me frames the activities, frames your presence as favors for him, and even in your lowest state, you are always keen to help him with anything. To Levi, it is no framing, your relationship is the greatest gift that fate has bestowed on him, and he treats you as such. It is in his selfless actions and his careful words, but it is more than that, traits you can’t quite categorize. The near flat, subtle smile you wake up to in the morning. The tight yet painless combs through your hair that leave you feeling divine. The low, calming timbre of his voice, decorated with a tender tone that he reserves for you. 

Even before the haze you’re in now, you’ve never been able to label those qualities of his, and instead settled: it’s just who he is. 

Like the sentiment that motivates his care: it’s what you deserve. 

// masterlist //

[roosterr]

put me back in it

nikolai x gn!reader wc: 2.3k | ao3 summary: nikolai up and disappeared one day. you thought you'd never see him again, but then he shows up at your door in the middle of the night. warnings: angst, implied smut, kinda ex!nikolai, eventually happy ending

sometimes, on nights where sleep evades you, the memories of him creep back in from the corners of your mind, filling you with the same empty longing that ensnared you like barbed wire around your heart when he vanished all those months ago.

it’s nikolai, the one your thoughts always seem to wander to when you're not paying attention. he never told you his last name, you’re not even sure if that's actually his first, but it never mattered to you back then. 

the night you met still brings a smile to your face. a concert, some obscure band you can't quite remember, where he'd spilled his drink over you and dampened your mood in an instant. with how apologetic he'd been, you found it hard to be annoyed with him, especially after he laid his jacket over your shoulders. he was by your side for the rest of the night, your grievances all but forgotten when his hand met the small of your back and the warmth of his body enveloped you.

you’d given the better part of a year to him, but he’d left you. slipped away in the middle of the night, while you were sleeping in the bed you shared more often than not, and that night was the last you heard from him. waking up alone, without so much as a note explaining why he disappeared, hurt you more than any explanation he could’ve given. no matter how many times you called him the line was always dead, every text left unseen. you resigned yourself to the fact that you would never get the closure your heart yearned for. eventually you stopped trying to reach him altogether.

it happened so fast, a romance so fleeting you’re not sure you have the right to be so torn up about it over a year after you first met – but still, you are. you still think about him when you watch the planes fly overhead, the streetlights against the night sky, and in the company taking up space in your bed as you gaze up at the ceiling.

the guy from the bar looks vaguely similar to nikolai, and that's admittedly why you'd taken him home with you, but the regret was sinking in now and you were already thinking up a way to kick him out as soon as possible.

the sound of a heavy pounding on your door breaks the silence. your companion makes no indication he's even still awake, the arm laid over your abdomen feeling more like deadweight than anything else.

"i'll get it," you mumble, mostly to yourself, tossing his arm to the mattress and pushing yourself up. you feel blindly for a shirt, finding one on the floor by your closet you're sure used to be his, and you don't particularly want to wear it but the knocking has increased in intensity and doesn't seem like it'll stop anytime soon.

so, with an airy sigh, you make for the front door, grabbing your robe as you leave your bedroom to slip over your half-dressed form, and calling out as you turn on the light in the entryway, "i'm coming, shut up!"

in your exhausted state, it slips your mind to check the peephole before you swing the door open and frown at whoever is on the other side. if you had, perhaps you wouldn't have opened it in the first place.

your muscles seize up, and in an instant it's like you're paralysed, one hand on the door and the other holding your robe together, scarcely even breathing as you lock eyes with the man in front of you.

it's nikolai.

his hair is a mess and his stubble is more grown out than you'd ever seen it, as if he had no time to fix his appearance before coming here, but he's no less beautiful even after all this time. the way his chest rises and falls indicates that he'd been running, and you can tell he's holding something behind his back.

your eyes narrow as you meet his, in curiosity or malice you're not quite sure. his brows are knitted in what could only be regret as he opens his mouth, but by now your sense has returned to you and you go to slam the door in his face. it doesn't shut, and you look down to see his boot wedged in the frame, his free hand coming up to push it back open as you gape at him.

he whispers your name, so softly it barely reaches your ears, but you hear it and the familiar shiver it sends down your spine scares you more than anything.

"let me explain," he's pleading, his gaze earnest as those endless brown eyes stare into yours. you stop trying to close the door on him, against your better judgement, and let him push it open once more.

"what could you possibly have to say that would excuse what you did?" you hiss, igorging the tremble in your bottom lip. you fold your arms tightly over your chest as he eyes fall guiltily to the floor. "it's been seven months, i thought you were dead, nikolai!"

"i will tell you everything, солнышка, please, just let me in." he murmurs, his voice uncharacteristically weak as he leans against your doorframe. his smoky scent reaches you all at once, a wave of nostalgia crashing over you from simply standing so close to him.

your heart constricts, that barbed wire he left there making itself known again, but you take a step back anyway. you don't look at him as he crosses over the threshold, closing the door behind him and making a beeline for the living room without meeting his eyes once. you hear him remove his boots before he trails after you, and curse him for being so considerate.

the crinkle of plastic meets your ears as he follows, and you turn around to see him bringing a small bouquet of roses out from behind his back. the quiet of the night buzzes in your ears, unable to tear you eyes away from the crimson petals as he holds them out to you, and the way the light from the hall illuminates him from behind. the thought crosses your mind that you should reject them, but you can’t bring yourself to. you take them from him, careful not to let your hands touch, and set them gently on the coffee table.

you sink into the corner of the couch while he does the same at the opposite end, the distance sending another aching twinge through your heart. despite the pain that he put you through, the resentment you hold for him, you still longed to be comforted in his arms, for him to hold you close like before.

"explain, then." you murmur, his gaze causing goosebumps to ripple across your skin as you curl into yourself. the anger has left your voice, replaced by the never-ending tiredness that he left you with.

he clears his throat, something nervous in his body language. it's unnatural, so unlike him that it rubs off on you too when you hear it in his voice, "i’m sorry, my love–"

"don’t." the endearment still gives you butterflies, even though you know it shouldn't, and you wish it didn't.

"i couldn’t– you would have been in danger if i stayed with you, i couldn’t do that to you." he leans forward, his elbows on his knees, the crease between his brows deepening with every word.

"what do you mean danger?" you frown again, sitting up straight in disbelief and slight unease from the seriousness of his expression. he purses his lips and looks away from you. "nikolai?"

"i’m…" he pauses, running a hand through his hair. his obvious anxiety only feeds into your own as you wait for him to continue, subconsciously leaning closer to him. "i am a dangerous man, солнышка. i make a lot of enemies."

your heart stutters at that, a fear creeping in from the corners of your mind – not for yourself, but for him. "you’re not explaining anything. just tell me, nik."

there's another pause. he shuffles closer again, meeting your eyes with a look that has the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end.

"i’m a mercenary." he finally admits. it was a surprise, of course, but you couldn't help but feel like it made sense. all the secrecy you'd looked past before, working odd hours but never telling you more, even when you'd pried.

he moves closer again, letting his hand rest next to yours on the cushion. you feel the warmth radiating from him, and your fingers twitch with the effort of keeping them still.

"i work with dangerous people, special forces…" he lets his voice trail off, taking in the shock of your expression. "we fight terrorists, my love, people who would do anything to hurt us."

you scoff, humourless and a lot more defeated than you intended, "so you thought you’d disappear in the middle of the night? let me think you hated me?"

a shaky breath escapes him, his hand finally closing the distance and covering yours. you can't even bring yourself to think you should stop him anymore, the part of you that's missed him for all these lonely months wins over easily and you lean even more into his touch.

"i never wanted to hurt you, милая, i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to you." he murmurs, barely any space between you now but he still doesn't push you past what you're ready for. "i never should've left you like that, and i'm so sorry that i did."

"why’re you telling me all of this now?" you whisper. your uncertain gaze meets his and it's like the rest of the world has faded away. his shadow covers you and you lean even closer, feeling his breath fanning over your face.

"because my life isn’t complete without you." his eyes search yours, his free hand coming up to run his fingers along your jaw in a featherlight touch that leaves your skin tingling in his wake. "you have every right to hate me, but i have loved you for every moment we were apart."

it's involuntary when you lean into his hand, his palm cupping your cheek so tenderly as the whisper of his name passes your lips, "nik…"

his forehead touches yours and any opposition you had to letting him near you again is forgotten. "please, let me make things right, my love."

instead of responding, you push forward and close the final gap by pushing your lips against his with a desperation that he easily reciprocates. he sighs into your mouth, shifting his hand to the back of your neck and pulling you impossibly closer, tiling his head for a better angle. it's sweet and passionate, and it takes you back to when you first met him, the bittersweet memory bringing the sting of tears to your eyes.

you pull back after a moment, your breathing laboured and your eyes glassy as they flutter back open. he smiles softly when you bring your own hand up to cradle his face, leaning back slightly to meet your gaze.

"i'm not forgiving you," you start, stroking your thumb over his cheekbone. you watch his eyes widen at your words and his smile falter, and you quickly continue, "but, i am willing to give you a second chance."

his grin returns, and he presses his lips to your cheek in a lingering kiss. "i will never hurt you like that again, милая." he murmurs in your ear, giving your nape a gentle squeeze where his hand still rests.

the tension between you is gone, he feels comforting and safe, like he always had before; everything feels right again.

the spell is broken unceremoniously by the guy from the bar – who you'd, somewhat embarrassingly, completely forgotten about – piping up from the doorway, "who the hell is that?"

"fuck–!" you startle, parting from nikolai and staring wide-eyed at his silhouetted form over nik's shoulder. he's staring the two of you down with a look that's a lot more offended than you think it should be, considering you only met a few hours prior and he hadn't been significant enough for you to even remember his name.

with a tired groan you drag a hand down your face, securing your robe across your front as you stand. he's dressed, thankfully, so you pinch the bridge of your nose and wave him off noncommittally, "can you just go?"

he scoffs and throws his arms out to the side in annoyance, taking a step towards you as he spits, "seriously? you're just gonna–"

nikolai interrupts his complaining by standing to his full height, towering over the man as he puts a hand out to stop him in his tracks. it works, and whatever he was planning on saying immediately dying on his tongue as he looks up at nik. 

the silence in the room is stifling as your eyes dart between the two men, but it's short-lived. nik takes a menacing step towards him, and though you can't see his face, you're sure he's wearing a deadly expression to match.

it takes less than a second for him to cut his losses, quickly backing out into the hall and fumbling hurriedly with your front door. nik follows him as he leaves, making a show of slamming and locking the door behind him.

he turns off the hall light before returning to you, bathing the two of you in darkness and strips of pale moonlight. your skin bristles as his fingers gaze your sides, his thick arms finding their way around your back as your hands rest at his collar.

"no need for cheap imitations," he utters, low and sultry, the vibrations of his voice felt under your palms, "you have me now, мои люблю."

[charmtale]

Shameful secrets cause a person to become haunted. She cannot sleep, for a shaming secret is like a cruel barbed wire that catches her across the gut as she tries to run free.

(Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves)

the fact that no one* knew about akio's abuse of anthy is far from the only thing wrong with it, but the inherent shameful secrecy of it was an integral part of her abuse, something that significantly served to isolate anthy from her peers.

it was definitely akio's plan for utena to see anthy and akio at the end of ep. 36. (anthy's hands disappear into her hair = she had no hand in this. + the way the scene lights up like how lights come on at the beginning of a new scene in a play (anthy's previously black silhouette gaining color and features) = it was staged. not to mention her bleak expression) akio thought that utena would just be disgusted by her, and/or feel betrayed, and that would be that. however, he sealed his fate (anthy being able to ditch him) with this action, because utena offered anthy compassion and understanding instead of condemning her.

utena acknowledging anthy's pain as a result of being abused by akio touched anthy more than any of utena's other actions up to that point. while utena says a lot of stuff in that scene about utena's ego and being a prince, anthy only has visible reactions to two of utena's lines until utena is completely done speaking.

"And the night I learned about you and Akio...!"

the camera focuses completely on anthy, nothing else shown, as anthy slightly tilts her head up. there is no dialogue while anthy makes this small movement; anthy is listening intently for what utena will say next, and the show wants us to notice that.

"I thought that you had betrayed me. Even though you were suffering so much...!"

when utena talks about suffering- acknowledging that akio's treatment of anthy caused anthy pain- anthy uncurls her body significantly. a visual indicator of feeling less shame, immediately in that moment.

anthy does not move in reaction to anything else utena says until utena is fully done speaking, when anthy and utena are now shown kinda-holding eachother. utena may or may not know the full impact of her words, but it is clear to the viewers what moved anthy to say:

"It doesn't matter now. Just leave this school. Forget about everything that happened here!"

in anthy's opinion, this has to be the kindest, most honest thing she can say in this moment. utena leaving would ruin akio's plan and anthy would be the obvious reason why (likely leading to punishment), not to mention how anthy would obviously miss utena. the fact anthy said it anyway shows how impactful utena's statement was

it's good to talk about utena's obsessive girlprincing and how it was damaging. it's good that utena acknowledges it herself. but i think the fandom commonly overestimates how much that mattered to anthy, especially in relation to this scene. i feel that people sometimes abbreviate it as 'utena apologized to anthy for her egotistical behavior, and that brought them closer together!' like yes, she did and that was positive and indicative of utena maturing. but i do not think that was the most important aspect here

[sourtoruu]

”Baby? can u call me back..it’s so lonely in my mansion..”

Toji X f!reader ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

warnings! blowjob m!receiving, edging, pet names (princess, baby, & good girl) p in v, not proofread, pure filth

toji didn’t wanna leave you alone at the house this weekend, but he had other important issues to deal with. not that you were ever an issue or less important, but as he says it’s “for your sake”. you trust him so you know nothing bad is ever gonna happen to you. he won’t allow that.

it was only 9pm..& you were soooo needy! toji barely texted you all day.. the occasional “hey baby” followed by an update as to his location & hearting your message was beginning to make your patience run thin. without a second thought you picked up your phone with its cute little cake charms as you set your led lights to a hot pink then began to record yourself fondling your tits & teasing your clit with soft taps. shallow breaths leave your mouth as you pant & moan his name in a sweet tone.

  ‘ping!’

|| miss u </3

seen 9:30pm

seeing this message made toji’s dick tighten in his pants. he couldn’t just leave the meeting, even if it was an embarrassing matter like this, he would just have to wait til he got done to deal with it.

lying down on your soft pink silk sheets as you ponder on if he actually watched the videos & paid any mind to them you hear rustling. you don’t bother to see what it is out of pure laziness & because whatever it was would’ve probably killed you by now if it was actually dangerous. snapping you out of your thoughts, a sudden slam of a door is enough to make you sit up. only to quickly realize it’s your buff boyfriend you haven’t been able to reach all day walking into your bed room. “toji..you scared me, i thought someone was coming to murder me or somethin” playfully pouting before getting up to kiss him. what was supposed to be a sweet, cute, welcoming peck became a sloppy, wet, dripping mess. “toji- wait.. you’re-“ barely managing to speak between each kiss he eagerly kept reconnecting between you two.“think it’s funny to tease me like that?” harshly groping your tits & giving each one a slap before turning you around to face the bed. whining as he drags his tip across your aching pussy agonizingly, you arch your back & press against him. unable to resist the way his dick catches onto your hole every time he slides up & down, he caves & slides in. “fuuuuuck..oh my go-mmph!” within an instant he starts slamming himself deep inside your velvet walls at a fast pace. “takin’ it so well baby..almost made me forget about what you..hah.. did.” grabbing a handful of the plump flesh on your ass before smacking it & grabbing it with a firm grip again. the sound of skin slapping aligned with your pathetic moans fill the room. the way you clench down on him relubricates his dick, creating a sloppy white ring around the bottom. “toji !! i canttt.. im gonna cum..” after another deep thrust he slowly takes his cock out just before you can finish, which causes a whimper from you in response to that.

“think you can jus’ cum that easily after today?” grabbing your hips to sit you up & turn your glossy body around he slowly begins to stroke his cock closer to your lips. immediately knowing what he’s indicating for, you prop yourself up on your knees & glance up at him. “good girl..” slapping & smearing the tip across your pouty lips teasing himself before pushing his length all the way into your mouth suddenly. “gonna use this throat til you can’t speak” leaving no time for you to react as he harshly slammed into your face. muffled sounds & squelching bouncing off the walls as you choke down onto his cock. he grabs a fistful of your hair pushing your mouth down further with a grunt.

“fuck.. just like that princess.” whining as you play with your puffy clit in a repeated rhythm.“want me to fill you up?” nodding your head eagerly as you’ve already been on edge since he pulled out the first time, rubbing your sensitive heat didn’t help. “please..” almost instantly he lifts you up into his beefy arms & aligns himself with your entrance. thrusting deeply as his pace begins to pick up speed, he holds your ass tightly as he empties his cum into you. grunting as he jolts his hips upwards into a few more times making sure a drop doesn’t go to waste. feeling yourself reach a high just as he does for himself you grasp his biceps for some sort of support. “nnngh..” panting & breathing softly as you feel him deep inside you before pulling out & planting a sweet kiss onto your lips.

“let’s get you cleaned up yeah?”

this was my first fic & honestly took way to long T^T i hope it wasn’t too rushed though !

@sourtoruu

please do not repost my work as your own ! thx

[daenerysstormreborn]

“Why is it always Rhaegar that fans talk about when it comes to what happened to Elia and not Tywin or Gregor?”

Because Tywin and Gregor are presented unambiguously as villains in the text. Gregor does not have any depth to him at all. He is cruel, violent, and evil. There is not much more to say about him. He did something absolutely horrific without remorse. Tywin is more interesting but still entirely unsympathetic and unambiguously evil. Even Cersei, who idolizes Tywin, thinks he went to hell. Plus we saw both of them alive on page, so there’s less speculation to be done. Meanwhile Rhaegar never appeared alive on page and we only have information from various characters. He’s more of a mystery to the reader, and he’s not presented as an unambiguous villain. Most characters think about him positively. The only one to really speak ill of him is Robert, who is awful. The kind of person Rhaegar was is more up to the readers to decide. There is simply more room for discussion.

Second, Tywin and Gregor are held accountable by characters in the narrative already for the death of Elia and her children. Their culpability is not something to be discussed. It’s obvious. And characters already find it vile. You could make the case that since we don’t get a lot of animosity towards Rhaegar in the Martell POV chapters, that Oberyn’s anger was directed at Gregor, that they don’t assign any blame to Rhaegar. But two things: 1. Rhaegar is dead and gone, whereas Gregor and Tywin were still living and able to be held accountable. For the readers, all three are fictional. And, now, dead. And 2. The characters not blaming Rhaegar isn’t an indication that he’s blameless. The readers are often invited to come to our own conclusions about what is wrong or right, evil or righteous. Jaehaerys is regarded in universe as a good man and great king. But we the readers know that he slaughtered his teenage daughter’s lover while she watched. We get to decide for ourselves if Jaehaerys was a good man regardless of the opinions of the characters.

Gregor and Tywin are undoubtedly the most culpable for the deaths of Elia and her kids. One ordered it and the other did it. This is known and nobody is going to contest it. It does not erase this fact to say that if Rhaegar had not absconded with Lyanna, leaving his wife and kids in King’s Landing, they may have survived. It was short-sighted of him. He didn’t know he would die. He didn’t know that his wife and kids would suffer—but he knew that what he was doing would cause political unrest, and he knew that his father had no love for his wife and kids. Perhaps Rhaegar truly believed that having a child with Lyanna was the key to saving the realm. Even if this is true, he still bears some responsibility for the deaths of Elia and her children. I’m sure he did not think they would be harmed—but therein lies the problem. He should have thought more of them, even if his intentions were noble, because he knew he was going to incite political unrest and he knew his father didn’t care for Elia and her kids.

Saying that Tywin Lannister, Amory Lorch, and Gregor Clegane are evil and culpable in the deaths of Elia, Aegon, and Rhaenys is just very “water is wet.” It’s preaching to the choir. We can all see this. The characters in the story see this. Trying to understand the kind of person Rhaegar was, including the BAD, since we’re given mostly positive views of him, is something to actually talk about. The only one really speaking ill of Rhaegar in universe is Robert and it’s most certainly NOT because he cared about Elia and the kids. Elia’s end was tragic and it echoes through the story just like Lyanna’s. Speculating about her relationship with her husband (which GRRM himself has said was complex) and what he could have done to protect her is just a matter of investigating a series of events that is still rather shrouded and thus is actually worthy of discussion

[liliesonpandora]

I’m a Warrior Like You

Pairing: Jake Sully x Daughter! Reader

(Gifs by World-of-Pandora)

Plot: You are Jake and Neytiri’s only daughter and youngest child. You disobey your father’s orders and leave home to join the mission where you put yourself in danger. He saves you and you have a fight when he gets home.

Warnings: violence, family conflict, angst

Note: single quotation indicate inner thoughts; double quotation indicate spoken dialogue

You and Lo’ak sat crosslegged in your family’s tent at High Camp, waiting for Neteyam to return with news from the war party. As his figure appeared at the entrance, you both got to your feet anticipating his report.

“Teyam, what’s going on?” You asked him without hesitating, curious to find out what the mission was.

He paused to take a breath after running all the way back. “Cargo train is on schedule to come through pretty soon. It’s carrying weapons and all kinds of materials. We’re gunna stop it on the route and steal as much cargo as we can before they hit us back.”

You and Lo’ak exchange a look. You both knew that hitting a cargo train was huge. They go incredibly fast and don’t do unplanned stops until reaching their destination. They wouldn’t be expecting an attack.

“When do we head out?” You ask Neteyam.

He quickly glances at his brother with an expression you don’t quite recognize. He hesitates a little with his response, which is different from the conviction he had less than a minute ago. “Um Dad’s waiting on a report from Tarsem, and then he’ll give out orders any minute now.”

You run over to the weapons shelf to grab your bow and secure it on your body. Lo’ak and Neteyam watch you and you can already tell what they are thinking without having to ask. ‘So that’s what this is about,’ you think to yourself. You speak before either one of them could say anything.“Dad is gunna let me come this time, he has to.”

“I don’t know, baby sister. Don’t get your hopes up,” Neteyam warned while giving you a sorry look. Your father rarely lets you join the war party like your brothers. You were the youngest. But you’ve been practicing your flying and hunting everyday. It was only a matter of time that he let you come on the mission. And this one was big… they would need as many eyes in the sky as possible.

“If you guys are going on this mission, then so am I.”

Lo’ak shot one more skeptical look at Neteyam and shrugged. They could think whatever they wanted, but you didn’t care. A few moments later, Jake came sprinting into the tent. His eyes scanned the area to take a look at his children, and they settled on his eldest first. “Okay, we’re moving out. Neteyam, report to Tarsem. He will put you and the other young hunters in position. Follow his orders.”

“Yes sir,” Neteyam replied with a nod before exiting the tent.

He turned to Lo’ak next. “Lo’ak you’ll be spotting from above and calling in any enemy aircrafts. You know what to do.”

‘So do I,’ you think.

“Wait for your mom’s signal and then head out, copy?”

“Copy.” Lo’ak’s eyes linger on you for a while while he is exiting the tent. You give him the slightest nod, letting him know that you would be okay. You watch him leave and then turn back to your father. He is now reaching for his rifle and checking his ammo. You wait patiently for your order, but it never arrives.

Without even looking in your direction, Jake begins to walk out of the tent. You couldn’t believe he was doing it again. ‘Theres no way he’s going to ignore me,’ you think. You run after him and clear your throat. Suddenly there was a lump that wasn’t there before. You remember that every other time up until now, you had stayed home while your parents and brothers went on missions. You never complained, only obeyed. But today was going to be different. Today you were ready, and you were certain of it.

“Um Dad, what about me?” But no response. ‘Is he too preoccupied? Or is he ignoring me?’

“Dad!” You shout, which finally gets his attention and he looks in your direction, waiting for you to speak. You can’t tell what the expression on his face is. ‘Is he annoyed?' You don't know and you don't care. His eyes travel down to your body, like he is only now noticing that you are equipped with your bow. You swallow and speak.

“What should I do? I can get in position with Lo’ak when it’s time,” you offer.

“No babygirl, stay here with your grandmother.”

“What?”

“You heard me, y/n. I don’t have time to argue with you right now, get back inside.”

You open your mouth to protest, but he interrupts before you can. “Don't make me repeat myself, you understand me?”

You said nothing, only stared at him while your bottom lip started to quiver.

“Do. you. understand me?” He said once more, but much slower and harsher. ‘What was this tone? He had never spoken to you like that before. Why was he being so mean?’ You were fuming with anger. Why was he so unwavering in his decision? You hesitated for a little, considering talking back. But you knew this wasn’t the time or place, it would only make him mad. So you swallowed your pride and answered him.

“Loud and clear,” you say through gritted teeth, making sure he knew how you felt about the situation. Without another word, he mounts his Ikran and takes flight. At this point, you are fighting back tears. You couldn't believe he would force you to stay home once again while everyone else was out fighting. But you knew one thing... there was no way you were going back inside.

Everyone had already left, and your grandmother was stationed in the healing and recovery tent. You could leave and no one would even realize you were gone. You moved swiftly because you knew that if you gave yourself more time to think, you would talk yourself out of it.

You ran to your ikran, which was already saddled up. It provided for a smooth mount. You connected your queue with hers and felt her deep breathing through tsaheylu. “Okay girl, let’s do this,” you tell her. And within seconds, you were off gliding through the air.

Lo’ak had left a good while ago, but that didn’t matter. You knew exactly where to meet and you would catch up to him in no time. You often listened in on the war party’s strategic meetings. Not only were your senses keen, but you were also good at staying hidden and evading anyone before being caught. It served you well.

You eventually spot Lo’ak and circle around, greeting him. A smile lit up his face and he looked excited to see you. You had to admit, it felt good to be out here with him; it was exhilarating.

“Y/n! Dad let you come?”

“Yeah, he gave me orders right after you left,” you lie.

His smile of excitement turns into a skeptical smirk. “Bullshit, then how come he didn’t just tell us to leave together?”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance at how quick he assumed you were lying. You thought about continuing the lie but ultimately decided against it and admitted the truth. “Alright fine, he told me to stay home. But I left anyway.”

He put his hand up to his head and groaned. “Jesus, you’re done for.”

“I’ve always done what he asked of me and this is the first time I’m doing something for me. He can’t be that mad.”

“I don’t know sis, first offense is always worse cause he expects more from you. Take it from me, a repeat offender," he warns with his palms up in the air.

You hate to admit it, but Lo’ak might actually be right about this one. You really didn’t want to disappoint your father, but you felt like you would be easily forgiven. Yeah you snuck out, but you were being safe and useful. You decided that the reward was worth the risk. “Don’t worry about me,” you tell Lo'ak.

“Okay come on, I’ve been circling the area.”

“Anything, yet?”

“Nah.”

After waiting for what seemed like five minutes, you spotted something down in the forest. “Lo’ak, AMP suits 9’ o clock.”

“Holy shit, I didn’t even see em.”

“Hurry up and call it in. Or do I have to do your job for you again?”

“Damn sis, go easy on me. Maybe Dad should have you out here."

You smiled at him proudly. You’d call it in yourself but you left your tech at home, which was an amateur move on your part. Oh yeah, and there's also the fact that you weren’t supposed to be there and your dad would kill you if he found out.

Lo’ak pressed the mic on his comms and called to your father. “Devil Dog come in, this is Eagle Eye.”

“Eagle Eye, send your traffic.”

“Got eyes on two AMP suits, carrying heavy gear.”

“What’s their position? Over.”

“About two klicks south, right past the old cave. Over.”

“On my way. Over.”

Lo'ak turned to you next. “Y/n, you should probably get out of here before Dad sees you.”

“No way, things just got exciting.”

“It’s your funeral.”

“We’re so far away from the action, it’ll be fine. I’ll leave before he-

“Eagle eye come in, this is Devil Dog.” The sound of your father's voice interrupted you.

“I read you," Lo'ak responded.

“We’re taking fire over here, I won’t make it to you. Abort the mission and get to cover!”

“Copy that!"

"Alright baby sis, we gotta go," Lo'ak said to you.

“Wait, we can do it.”

“What?”

“Dad can't get here in time, but you and I can do it.”

“I like a little adventure as much as the next guy, but that plan is actually insane.”

“It will work. You saw all that gear they were packing, it's a major jackpot. There's two of them and two of us. If we attack from above, they won't even see us coming. They won't have time to hit us back."

“I don't know about this. Usually, I'm the one doing stupid shit. Who are you?”

You ignored his joking demeanor, you were serious. “Aren't you tired of being overshadowed and ignored?”

“Yeah, I guess?”

“I don't know about you, but I wanna prove what I can do. And I know I can do this.”

He looked like he was thinking it over, going through all the scenarios in his head. And then finally he agreed. “Okay.”

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Let’s do it.” You knew you could count on him, he always had your back. The both of you began to dive down into the forest, getting closer to the targets.

“How’s your aim?” You asked him.

“Could be better.” Suddenly he was worrying you.

“That’s not what I wanted to hear, big bro.”

“Don't worry, I got this.”

“That’s more like it.”

The two of you go over the plan a few times while flying to the location. Hidden amongst the trees, you would aim your bows and take them out simultaneously as they were walking in your direction. If either of you failed, it would alert them to your position and trigger a counterattack. So you knew you couldn't fail. You took a few deep breaths, all your training had prepared you for this moment. You lined up your arrow and signaled for Lo'ak to do the same. "On me," you whispered. He nodded in agreement. Then you mouthed a countdown silently and… released.

You watched as both arrows instantaneously pierced the glass of the suits and the bodies that inhabited them. The machines, no longer having someone to control them, fell to the ground with a huge thud. You and Lo'ak looked at each other in amazement. He put a finger to his lips, telling you to stay quiet. You waited for a while in silence, wanting to make sure they were dead. When it felt safe, you jumped down from the trees, leaving your ikrans perched. Creeping up behind the machinery, you confirmed the kills. "Oh my god,” you exclaimed, in disbelief that it actually worked.

"We actually did it! Woohoo!" Lo'ak yelled while raising his arm to give you a high five. You slapped his hand with yours and pulled him in for a hug. "Hell yeah, I knew we could do it!" You cried. The smile on Lo'ak's face was big and bright.

"Okay, now let's see about the gear," he reminded you. You nodded in response. You were about to begin opening cases of weapons when you were interrupted by the loud whirring of a helicopter approaching. You looked to the sky to see where it was coming from. ‘Oh no.’

“Shit! Run back to the Ikran, go!" Lo'ak screamed.

Without another word, you took off running as fast as you could. Why the hell would you leave the ikran so far away?! You weren't thinking.

"Call Dad!" You screamed over your shoulder at Lo'ak, but you couldn't see where he was. Your vision was blurred and your legs felt like jelly from the adrenaline. An explosive hit the ground by your feet, flinging your body into the air. You hit the ground below with incredible force. And then there was just darkness.

***************************************************************

“Y/n! y/n! Baby, wake up please!” You slowly opened your eyes and your father's face came into focus.

“Dad?”

“Oh thank god, what the hell are you doing here y/n?!”

Then you remember where you were and what you did. You opened your mouth to speak, but it was difficult to talk. “I just... wanted to help.”

You moved to sit up, but dizziness overtook and there was an aching pain in your head. ‘And where was Lo'ak?’ you wondered. “Woah not so fast, I got you.” Your dad said before he scooped you up in his arms and began to run.

"Dad."

"Yes, baby."

“My head hurts.”

“You must have hit it pretty hard. But you know who I am and where you are, so that’s a good sign.”

“I’m sorry. Are you mad?”

“Never mind that. I’m gonna get you home now. Just try to stay awake for me okay?”

“Okay.” But you could already feel your vision getting blurred again, and your eyelids felt extremely heavy. The last thing you remember is your father calling your name before the darkness.

***************************************************************

You opened your eyes to the ceiling of the tent. You were lying in one of the bigger hammocks at home, and there was wrapping all over your body. You guess that's where you were wounded. You notice that your head no longer hurts like it did before. Grandmother must have healed you. You begin to sit upright. “Ma ite, you are awake," your mother said softly with a smile.

“Mom?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. Where’s Lo’ak?”

“He is with Neteyam, he is alright.”

“And Dad?”

“He is taking care of the aftermath of the mission, he will be home soon. You hit your head, we were so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry, mom.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to scold you. I’m afraid your father will do enough of that for both of us.”

“You don’t agree with him, do you?"

“That doesn’t matter right now, my love. You know how much worse this could have been. You are never supposed to go off on your own, even if your brother was with you.”

“I know.”

The screech of your father’s ikran echoes throughout the cave. Your heart begins to race. ‘Be strong, be strong,’ you repeat over and over in your head. Your mother gives you a concerned look before she leaves the tent to greet your father.

“Hey sweetheart, where’s y/n? Is she feeling okay?” You hear him ask her. 'So he is worried about me, that's a good sign.'

“She’s inside. She said she feels much better… Jake go easy on her for now, she’s still recovering.”

'Uh oh,' you think. Your father enters the tent and walks over to you.

“Dad.”

"You feeling better, honey?" You nod, taken aback at the question.

“What were you thinking? Do you know how dangerous that was?!"

“Yes sir."

“You deliberately disobeyed my direct order and put yourself into harms way!”

“You refuse to let me come on missions! I was just trying to show you that I can handle this! The mission was going fine, I just got ahead of myself at the end and… I messed up okay! I know that!

“There’s a reason I told you to stay home.”

“Really? What is it then?! Because whenever I ask, it seems to just be cause you said so. I have listened to you every time. I have obeyed every order from you. And the one time…”

“You’re not ready.”

“I’ve passed every test a warrior needs to pass, Dad. I am more than ready.”

“You don’t understand the gravity of what you've done. What if things were worse? I need to be prepared to get all of you out of there if something goes wrong. If I don’t even know where you are, let alone that you’re out there at all… how am I supposed to make sure you’re safe? Did you think about that?"

You said nothing.

“No, cause you didn't think at all. If you can’t even follow simple instructions at home and trust my authority, how can I expect you to do that on a mission?”

“So, you’re authority at home now too?" You don't know why you said that. You just wanted to get back at him.

“You’re grounded. If you think you’re leaving high camp in the next century, you’ve got another thing coming.” He turned to leave the tent.

‘He can't keep me here,' you think to yourself. “We’ll see,” you mutter under your breath.

He turned back towards you. “What did you just say?”

‘Fuck.’ “Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Stop treating me like a little kid.” You don't know why you kept talking back. You were just so upset, you couldn't sit there in silence like a little soldier.

“So grow up, and stop acting like one! You made your choice and now here come the consequences. But you can’t even take em like the so-called adult you wanna be. Instead, you’re throwing a tantrum cause you didn’t get your way.”

“I'm not throwing a tantrum. I’m yelling because I’m just as good as Neteyam, but you don’t respect me enough to let me show it.”

“Guess what sweetheart, you gotta give respect to get respect.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You wanna know why Neteyam got to go on all the missions? Because he listened and acted responsibly when I asked him to. Because I know I can trust him. I can’t say the same for you.”

“Jake!” Your mother hissed at him. She knew he went too far with that one.

That hurt… a lot. “I hate you!” You screamed, tears welling up in your eyes. You looked up at the roof to slow the process but you knew that if you blinked or thought about his words, the tears would fall. You refused to let him see you cry. You refused to let him know just how much he hurt you. So you ran out of there as fast as you could.

You couldn’t even see where you were running to, but you ended up in Neteyam’s arms. He must have been there the whole time… listening to the entire argument. You tried to push him away but he held you tightly against his body until you stopped fighting him.

You let it all out, all the tears you were holding in. He held your head to his chest as you cried and ran his hand over your hair. Lo’ak appeared next. You were sure he got his ass chewed out too, but here he was to comfort you. You released from Neteyam’s hug to look at him. “You okay?” you ask, examining all the wraps on his body.

“I’m fine sis, don’t worry about me.” He wiped your tears away with his hand and tucked a few of your braids behind your ear. Neteyam’s arm was still around you, and you didn’t want him to let go. Both your brothers knew what it felt like to get scolded by your dad, so it warmed your heart that you weren’t alone right now.

“It’s okay baby sister, he won’t be mad forever. It will blow over soon,” Neteyam comforted.

“Whatever, I don’t care.” You lied, you did care. You had never had a fight with him like this. He was always so gentle with you, it felt like your special bond was breaking.

“Come on, let’s go find Spider at the lab. He’ll cheer you up,” Lo’ak offered.

“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea," Neteyam chimed in.

You appreciated that they didn't tell you ‘I told you so.’ So you nodded and agreed to go, taking Lo'ak's hand and following behind him.

“Neteyam.” You heard your father say from a distance away. It sounded like he was trying to speak quietly.

“Yeah, dad?” He replied.

“Just make sure she’s okay. And come back for dinner.”

“I will Dad, don’t worry.”

Jake probably thought you didn’t hear him say that. You could not believe he had the nerve to yell at you like that and then act like he cared.

Neteyam and Lo’ak ended up being right, Spider did get your mind off things. You told him all about today’s mission and he went on and on about how cool you were. He was a great friend to you, like another older brother… only smaller.

When you and your siblings returned home, you joined your parents for dinner. Everyone made small conversation, but you ate in silence. Your dad kept trying to catch your eye, but you tried twice as hard to avoid his gaze. You lost your appetite and could barely stomach the food, which was unfortunate because it was your favorite dish. You were sure your mom made it, especially for you.

You weren’t about to let your father think you were still affected by him, so you ate your dinner as quick as you could. You hoped that you could trick your brain into thinking you weren't feeling sick to your stomach. But that ended up backfiring because your dad reached over and refilled your bowl once it was finally empty. There was no way you could eat a second serving, so you accepted defeat and put the bowl down. Both Jake and Neytiri looked over at you in surprise. “Actually, I’m full,” you admit.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart. You ate so fast, I thought you wanted more,” he explained. That was the first time you made eye contact with him all evening. He had a sad look.

“Ma ite, don’t force yourself if you can’t eat anymore,” your mom added.

“Thanks, it was delicious mom. May I be excused? My stomach is a little upset.”

“Of course, my love," she said. Your parents gave you a look of concern before Mo’at interjected. “Shall I have a look at you, my child?”

“No grandmother, I’m okay. I’m just going to go rest.”

You went off on your own for a while, trying to occupy yourself with a million different things… like sharpening your knife and continuing to bead a necklace you had been working on. You stayed away for as long as you could before accepting that you had to go home at some point. Just as you were about to enter the tent, you stopped short. Your parents were talking… about you.

“Ma Jake, you were much too hard on her," your mother said.

“I can't let her think she can talk back like that and get away with it. Her attitude is out of line.”

“Hm… I wonder where she gets it from.”

“She wants to be treated the same as her brothers but when it comes to discipline, I’m too hard on her?!”

“She is used to being your little girl. If you yell at her like that, what do you expect is going to happen?”

“Why is she so eager to go out there on missions? She’s just a kid!”

“Our kids see Toruk Makto, the great warrior and the fearless Olo’eyktan of our clan. They just want to be like you and live up to your name. Neteyam and Lo’ak were like this too. Why would it be any different for y/n?”

“She’s not ready. She’s stubborn and she doesn’t listen. I can’t have her out there, it’s too risky.”

“No, she’s headstrong and she has been blindly following your orders without question... until today."

“What?”

“I know you are upset that she disobeyed you. But you know that you cannot keep her sheltered here forever. It is not the way.”

Your father began to say something but your mother cut him off quickly and continued.

“And this is not about her not being ready. She is more than ready. This is about your fear. She is your only daughter and she’s growing up. You are afraid to lose her and that is okay. But be honest with yourself and be honest with her, or she will end up resenting you for it.”

“Fuck, I just don’t know how to do this baby. It was so much easier with her brothers.”

“She doesn’t need a sergeant Jake, she just needs her father. That’s all you need to be. Show her that you care before trying to reprimand her. Right now she’s hurt and embarrassed, and you need to go to her and make it okay.”

“You always know the right thing to say.”

“I know, I'm amazing. Now go find our daughter.”

'Shit, he's coming,' you think. And you run as fast and as quietly as you possibly can. You went to a hideaway that you made with your brothers. The adults weren't supposed to know about it, but they did anyway. You were sure he was going to follow you there. You pick up the jewelry you were working on before and act busy, facing away from the entrance of the hideaway.

You hear him approach. “Sweetheart? You in here?” You don’t respond, wanting to hurt him like he hurt you.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you like that, it wasn’t okay.”

You’ve been replaying that fight over and over again in your head all day and trying to hold it together. Now that he was addressing it directly, you felt like you wanted to cry. ‘No, not now please. Not here in front of him’ you told yourself. You could hear the leaves on the ground crunch beneath his feet. He had entered the hideaway, but you couldn’t see because your back was turned.

“Please turn around, I just wanna talk about it,” he pleaded. He sounded desperate but you wouldn’t give in that easily.

“What is there to talk about when you won’t listen? It’s your way or no way, I should know that by now.” Your voice was trembling, you were so anxious now that you were being confronted by him. You couldn't hold back the tears.

“I’m ready to listen, okay? I promise.” Based on what you overheard between your parents, you knew he was being sincere. But you wanted him to suffer just a tad bit more.

“Come on, I’m trying here. Please look at me?”

But you couldn’t stay mad for long, no matter how hard you tried. You turned on your heel and faced him finally, but your eyes stayed at your feet. “Babygirl,” he called to you. His voice was different this time… softer and almost broken. When he called you that, it felt like suddenly everything would be okay again. And all you wanted to do was run to him.

You rose your head to look up at him. At the sight of your tear-stained face, he instantly dropped to his knees and opened his arms without saying a word. “Daddy!” you cried while running to him. Your little body hit him with so much force, he almost fell backward. But he held you tight, stabilizing the both of you and placing kisses all over your cheek and temple. Your crying became audible, but it sounded muffled against his body. It was like you were letting out all that you’ve been holding in today. It’s been such a long day.

“Shh, I’m here. I got you now,” he soothed you softly while running his hands over your hair. Your airways felt tight and it was difficult to breathe normally while you cried this hard.

Jake could feel you hyperventilating against him, so he motioned for you to take deep breaths with him. When your breathing returned to normal, he lifted you off the ground and began to walk over to the corner; taking a seat with you on his lap. The tears kept flowing while you spoke.

“I’m sorry… I talked back to you,” you cried.

“I know baby, it’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I said a lot of mean things to you back there, and I wish I could take it all back.” He cupped your cheek with his hand and the warmth of his skin was so comforting.

“I’m sorry I said that I hated you, I was just so mad at you. I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you didn’t. But even if you did hate me, I’d still love you.”

“Even after what I did today?” You looked at him with surprise but then lowered your gaze down to your lap, suddenly feeling ashamed.

“Look at me,” he ordered. His voice was stern but still soft, so you obeyed.

“There is nothing you could say or do that would make me stop loving you. No matter how upset I am, or how much we argue with each other… my love for you will never change. Because you’re my daughter, and I love you unconditionally. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now tell me what was going through your head today.”

“I just wanted to prove myself to you and show you that I could do it. And I know now how dangerous it was to go without informing anyone. And how dangerous it was to attack without orders. But Dad… we did it! We took out those guys so fast. We just weren’t prepared for the counterattack and everything got screwed up.”

Jake let out a deep sigh before speaking. “Babygirl, you don’t have to do things like this to prove yourself to me. Although you’re younger than Neteyam was when I let him on his first mission, you surpassed him in skill when he was this age.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Then I don’t understand. You know I can do it, so why won't you let me go?” Your mother said it was cause he was scared, you knew that now.

“Because I’m selfish.”

“What?”

“You’re still young, but you’re growing up so fast. I wanted to shield you from this war as much as I could. But it was foolish of me to think that I could keep you from being anything less than what you are. You’re a warrior like me. That’s what you’re meant to be, as long as you want to be.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Mhm. Your mom and I were talking it over and I couldn’t understand why I became so angry that you would even think of doing something like this. And she said it was because I was scared of losing my little girl. And she was right.”

You placed your head on your dad’s chest, wanting to comfort him like he was doing for you. He looked down at you and smiled, then continued to speak.

“When I saw you with your bow today, all dressed for the mission… I just wasn’t ready to send you out there. And when Lo’ak called me and told me that you were there with him, it felt like my heart had stopped beating. Thank goodness Lo’ak was fine when I got there, but to see you lying there unconscious… was one of the scariest moments of my life.”

He must have felt your tears on his chest because he looked down again. “Daddy, I’m really sorry that I put us in danger today. I didn’t want to make you and mom scared. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, y/n. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset by telling you all of this. All that matters is that you’re safe now.”

“Thanks for saving us."

“I’ll always come and save you kiddo. Anyway, I want you to know that you are ready. It was me that wasn’t ready to let you go.”

You took a deep breath and you felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. You could breathe again. “I feel like I’ve been fighting to be seen by you. Trying to live up to not only you, but Lo’ak and Neteyam as well. It was so hard, Dad.”

“I know baby, you can stop fighting now. You’ve worked so hard. You have exceeded my expectations, and you make me proud every day. I see you.”

Once you hear these words, you are overwhelmed with emotion. You started to believe you would never hear your father say this. You hug him even tighter and you feel his strong and steady arms around you.

“Will you forgive me for how I acted?” He asked.

“Of course I will, I love you.”

“I love you more.” He gave you another kiss on your forehead.

“Wait, this means I’m not grounded anymore right?”

He chuckled. “You are no longer grounded. But don’t think you can get away with that little attitude in the future.”

“And I can go on missions from now on?”

“For now, you’ll go on the ones I let Lo’ak go on. But you know you can’t pull today’s shit again.”

“I know.”

“You guys will follow orders, and always have your communication devices on you. No rogue missions, no impulsive decisions. Any slip ups from either of you, and you’re staying home. Copy?”

“Copy.”

“Good girl. How’s your head and stomach feeling?”

“So much better now.”

“Good. Oh and for what it's worth... I saw those AMP suits in the forest and your aim was spot on. We got the gear too, so thank you for that.”

“Yes! I knew it!”

“Alright alright, you got your skills from your mom…”

“And my attitude from you?” You cut in.

He laughed lightly. “I was gonna say confidence, but yeah that too. You’re definitely my kid,” he said while messing up the top of your hair.

“Dad!” You groaned.

“Come on, I’ll change your wraps before bed. I’m sure your grandmother’s probably sleeping by now.” And he knelt down in front of you so you could hop onto his back for ride like when you were little. You climbed on, wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“Now you gotta redo my hair too.”

“Alright, I got myself into that one. Let’s get outta here.”

He carried you out of the hideaway and you made your way back to your tent. A father and his little warrior.

[dingodad]

Ok, so this has driven me crazy for the longest time. What the fuck happened to post retcon Japsersprite? The one we know is from pre retcon, since he was on John’s planet when he brought it into the void. Nothing was ever mentioned to happen to post retcon Jaspers, so where is he. I can’t believe Hussie forgot about him, he didn’t forget about the two Nannasprites. Did post retcon Jaspersprite just not exist? Maybe he died on LOWAS when Typheus blew it up, but there is no mention of that at all. I guess only Jade or the Nanna’s would know then, but nothing is ever said about it. Also is there a way to know if the Arquius that becomes lord English is the pre or post retcon version?

i'm gunna play good cop bad cop here cus there's an answer you don't want to hear and then there's a sort of interesting consolation prize answer at the end.

the answer you don't want to hear: it doesn't matter! :P i don't think this really needs explaining but the whole point of davepeta/jasprose's ultimate self spiels is that tying yourself in knots trying to figure out who's "pre-retcon" and who's "post-retcon" is, as they say, for the birds. john is john is john. hussie didn't "forget" that there are supposed to be two jaspersprites: while a story can occasionally get away with having two Daves or two Roses because Dave and Rose have interesting things to say to themselves, the fact that homestuck has even ONE character called jaspersprite simply strains the reader's ability to give a shit. there is the room nor the need for TWO jaspersprites, of all the damnedest things.

(there can be two nannasprites because two nannasprites are funny - but if there's one thing worse than creating the same CHARACTER twice, it's telling the same JOKE twice.)

the other answer is about sprites in particular. do you know why video game graphics used to be called "sprites"? i only thought to look this up just recently: it's because, like the fairies or spirits of folklore from which they get their name, they float above the background of the game world without interacting with it directly. this should form the basis for our understanding of homestuck's kernelsprite, as well, which borrows both from folklore and from computer programming. they are of course ghosts on a literal level, with spritely undead tails and the ability to pass through walls and physical barriers like they weren't there - but the way they interact with the story itself is similarly ethereal-and-or-ephemeral.

sprites appear at the whim of the heroes to serve a very particular purpose - which, you will notice, is exactly what davepeta says they're doing when they show up in hell - but then the moment that purpose is complete they might as well stop existing. dave- and jadesprite show up inexplicably on the battlefield as the reckoning begins: are they killing themselves now that their purposes are complete? where are all the lususprites, anyway; did they do the same thing? erisolsprite initially seems to indicate that he's going to fuck off and possibly explode like all the other sprites who hate themselves, but then just shows up again 200 pages later later at the convenience of the trickster arc. the same is true of all the sprites presumed-dead following the events of GAME OVER, who show up as-needed in the new timeline to form the next generation of redundant ghost freaks. this is simply how sprites operate. whether they're "alive" or "dead" at any given moment is the wrong way of looking at it - they're ghosts for goodness' sake!!

the fact that the story never tells us what happened to "that other jaspersprite" is supposed to make us think less about it, not more, because knowing where one of them is - the "ultimate" one, in fact - should be enough to put our minds at ease. but it also deliberately leaves the door open for another jaspersprite to show up if the story ever somehow, against all odds, finds a place to squeeze one in. which is again exactly what the plot point is currently doing with sprites like erisol, who for all intents and purposes was dead up until the moment page 666 started

[malfiora]

Can't Get Enough

by captainBAEhab

Tags: GrayWing, getting together, previous DickKory, fluff, thirst traps

The first time they met was...less than stellar. Kori had been raving about her new boyfriend for ages and finally got to introduce him to the Titans during their annual holiday party. "You'll like him, he's from Gotham," he'd been assured.

Nightwing is curious – until in walks the princeling of Gotham, Dick Fucking Grayson. There's a blissful moment in which he thinks (knows) this is a mistake, but, nope, Kori is greeting him with a kiss and heart eyes. How had they even met? And what could Kori have possibly seen in him?

He watches to find out. Dick waltzes around, flashing his best paparazzi smile at the Titans and regaling them with ridiculous socialite stories. What's worse is that everyone else is actually charmed by this, if the faint blushes and waving hands are any indication.

When Dick finally makes his way over to him, he gives Nightwing a sweeping look and his smile tightens to a smirk. "You, I know," he declares. "My family's cleaned up enough of your messes."

And so Nightwing vows to hate the guy, even if the others vouch for him.

"Oh, c'mon, he was trying to be nice," Troia says. No.

"Yeah, isn't that just how Gothamites say 'hello'?" Beast Boy tries. Nope.

Nightwing gets the last laugh when Dick and Kori break up three months later.

---

Or so he'd thought. As fate would have it, night shift in Gotham falls to Nightwing one weekend. Batman and Robin are off world, Red Robin is on the West Coast, the Batgirls are on the other side of the world for a "mission" (read: vacation), and Red Hood won't return his calls. And apparently some upstart gang thinks it's the perfect window to kidnap a Wayne for ransom. But not just any Wayne, oh no.

Dick Fucking Grayson is sitting in the middle of a dingy room, gagged and tied to a folding chair. Nightwing removes the zip ties first and the gag absolutely last. As soon as he's able to, Dick pushes off the chair to stand but immediately falls back into it with a grunt.

"Whoa, take it easy," and Nightwing scans him for injuries. "Looks like your ankle is sprained."

"Doesn't matter, the girl –"

Nightwing raises an eyebrow. "What girl?"

"The other victim." Turns out, the upstart gang is more daring than they initially seemed and kidnapped two hostages. "I'm not leaving her, I gave her my word."

It's a bad idea, he should complete Dick's rescue before going back for another hostage, but Dick's eyes are burning with determination and it's crumbling his resolve. "Fine," Nightwing sighs, "hang onto me."

They hobble down the hall to another dilapidated room. Huddled in the corner is a girl, probably a preteen, with smudged glasses and a shock of red hair. She launches herself at Dick the moment she sees him and hugs him around the middle.

"Hey, Carrie," he says through a pained smile and he pats her head. "I told ya I'd come back for you. And I brought a friend."

Carrie peeks up at him and smiles. Nightwing crouches so he's level with her. "Hey, Carrie, my friend here's a little hurt, so I need your help. Is that okay?" She squeezes Dick tighter but eventually lets go and nods. "Awesome. I need you to go a few steps ahead of us and tell me if you see or hear anyone coming. If you do, make this signal with your hands." And he flaps his hands like a bird.

"Like this?" She imitates the gesture.

"You're a natural."

Carrie diligently checks around every corner as Nightwing supports Dick through the building. Either the goons all left or they get extremely lucky, but they don't encounter anyone, and soon enough they're free of the lair. GCPD arrives a minute later with paramedics, so Nightwing gives Dick over to the paramedics and calls it a day. But not before he watches Dick smile down at Carrie and offer his hand to her while they wait for her parents.

See, he's never seen this side of Dick before. Warmth, protectiveness, concern for someone and something other than his hair and his fancy clothes and gaudy cars. It's...weird and vulnerable and a little precious, and so now Nightwing is curious – what else is there to Dick Fucking Grayson?

Which, of course, leads him to Twitter. He scrolls through Dick's posts and retweets, just skimming, all the way back to when he first created it, just as part of his investigation. It's not obsessive if he's only looking, right? It's a patchwork of silly ramblings, vague political statements encouraging Gothamites to vote without endorsing anyone, links to interviews with various Waynes, and photos of charity events. Normal, even a little thoughtful. Must be Dick's PR team, right? Except that wouldn't explain the thirst traps.

There aren't many, but they're there, sprinkled into perfectly innocuous posts. Hashtag-no-filter selfies of him allegedly just waking up, post work out poses, fit checks in various dressing rooms, just there, for everyone to – FUCK.

He accidentally liked one of the posts.

And so now Nightwing is faced with a dilemma: does he un-like it and pretend it was a mistake? Or leave it there and act nonchalant? Dick is going to get the notification either way, and moment now –

"Well hello there 😏" comes the DM notification from @ not_a_dick_joke and nonononono this can not be happening right now. "Glad you liked the pic! But here's a more recent one" and sure enough Nightwing gets an alert saying he's got a photo.

Dare he? Should he open the messages to see? Well...a peek couldn't hurt at this point. Lo and behold, it's another thirst trap, this one of Dick with his shirt half unbuttoned and holding a sign with a scribbled 'to my savior' on it.

Nope. That's enough Internet for the day. Nightwing logs off of Twitter and considers deleting the app for five whole minutes before doing something more productive like polish his wingdings again.

---

And everything is fine for another couple weeks, in which Dick definitely sends more selfies and Nightwing definitely looks at them and leaves him on read and this is definitely normal and healthy behavior for both of them. Until it isn't.

@ not_a_dick_joke: is getting kidnapped the only way I'll get you to talk to me? okay then 😊

What...what does that mean? Holy fuck, is Dick Fucking Grayson going to get himself kidnapped just to get Nightwing to talk to him? That's just...(stupid/hot/crazy/sweet).

So naturally, Nightwing must check on him. He drops by Wayne Manor, onto a balcony he's seen Batman use before. Sure enough, Dick is there, waiting, elbows leaning on the balustrade. He grins when he sees Nightwing.

"So that did the trick, huh? I was wondering what I'd do to get you over here if that didn't work." And then he's tugging at Nightwing's wrist and pulling him inside the manor. "C'mon, I wanna show you something." He tossed a wink back at him. "Something I can't post on Twitter."

[karlachismylife]

And We Just Disagree

CW: gn!reader, hurt/comfort, mentions of arguments (no actual fighting written), reader is having bad feelings, but it's a good ending, smoking.

(Title from "We Just Disagree" by Dave Mason)

Having arguments is always hard. No matter the point of disagreement, no matter how big or small, loud or quiet, they always leave you miserable whenever you fail to find a compromise or convince someone to accept your point of view. Every fight strips all your defences clean off, right to the bare, hurting periosteum, scraped with the harsh blade of someone's animosity.

You'd rather never argue at all, but there are times where you can't just accept whatever you're given. You're not afraid to stand your ground.

But God, it never gets less exhausting. Especially with Simon.

You don't fight often, and whenever you do, you find a solution sooner or later. After sliding through the loops of the barbed wire he surrounded his six-layer walls, you found that he wasn't as bad with disagreements as one could think. He never yells, never lets offensive words spill from his lips - whenever he says something harsh, he's just beng honest. Maybe you'd preferred a little more sugarcoating, but you didn't choose this man for being easy to deal with.

Maybe that's why having actual fights with him hurts so fucking much. Because you want to be as gentle and accepting with him as possible and you know the wish is mutual, but sometimes you just bloody can't.

That's when you find yourself feeling vulnerable and unsafe in your own apartment. As if every time you lose Simon's unconditional support for whatever reason, you lose your home entirely. He stops whatever discussion you were having, pinches nis nosebridge, blond eyebrows painfully furrowed, and throws a gruff "I need a smoke" your way before slipping away to the balcony.

Outside the apartment door to smoke at the communal staircase, if he needs more time.

Going out for a whole circle around the apartment building - once, when you honestly thought you might break up over the issue.

Today is a balcony day. It's a slight consolation, but it fails to reach you as you curl up in a ball of gloom and misery on the living room couch - the balcony is in the bedroom - and feel your fingers get cold and unpleasant nausea rising somewhat up to your solar plexus. Not all the way to the throat, but it isn't any less irritating; your body knows something wrong and tries to tell you.

Stupid body that doesn't understand it's not an issue you can just resolve by puking a poisonous fruit out or cuddling up to the members of your pack for warmth. A genius and yet such a useless evolutionary mechanism.

The balcony door closes with an echo that makes you uncomfortable. Simon walks silently, a literal Ghost no matter the size, every creaking floorboard memorized without even trying, but you notice his shadow in the corner of your eye and feel the couch dip heavily underneath his mass.

He brought cigarette smell - a tangy clove aftertaste of an expensive, fashionably black cancer stick - and outside's coolness to the living room. It's the only familiar thing about a man that feels no closer than a stranger in your depressed post-fight misery pit.

"Lookin' good, love." His voice startles you, not because you weren't expecting to hear him speak, but because it sounds exactly like that - like a stranger just coming up to have a chat and hopefully learn your name, phone number and relationship status.

"You're not so bad yourself, I suppose." Your answer is a bit distant, but you accept the game. If it's strangers he wants to play, you'll be a stranger. No one said you have to be a convincing one. "I like you."

"I like your eyes," Simon retorts immediately, a small movement indicating he's turned his body towards you in an invitation. "Even when they're sad."

A tired sigh. You're tired. Your eyes are tired. Your body and mind are tired.

"I don't want to be sad. Not when I'm with you."

"I want to make you happy, then, love." He's being sincere. Just a lad offering something so simple and yet dsirable to someone he took a shine to.

Can he make you happy right now?

"I want to kiss you." It's not the solution to all problems, you know that, and yet you out your wish since it'll probably make the pathetic feeling of your own smallness go away.

"I want to kiss you too."

You finally turn to him, offering him to drown in your upset eyes, and Simon meets your gaze with the same solemn expression, a sad frown on his face right up until his big hand - smells uniquely like a hand of a man who just had a smoke - cups your face and pulls you in for a short, soft, shallow kiss.

Your stranger's kiss.

"Let's talk about it again, lovie," he whispers, resting his forehead against yours and brushing his thumb along your jawline reverently. "'M not gonna talk until ya say everything ya want, a'right? Will listen. We can resolve this, I know we can."

He's right. And he's there for you, so you can be there for him too. You clutch his loose T-shirt right under his collar and sigh, looking down as you feel warmth seeping back into your body reluctantly.

"Wanna kiss a few more. Then talk."

This is definitely not something Simon will ever argue against.