#and esp hearing nothing from them haha

[tacou]

damn not to depression blog on my long inactive tumblr but like... yall ever be reminded of the miniscule impact you've had on others bc it’s once again your birthday and the only fellas who have contacted you are like...fb posts on your timeline from extended family haha

[sehodreams]

hiya!! first off wanted to say i love ur blog and i enjoy reading all ur content but esp look out for ur toxic!riize headcanons those are fun haha, i was wondering if and only if ur comfortable with it cuz it’s a little weird.. but thoughts or a drabble about like bully! or toxic! sungchan with plus size!reader but he likes to tease her for her size sometimes but it’s really just to hide how attracted he is to every aspect of her.. idk like only if you’ve got some ideas, that’s all… thank you and i hope you have a great day!

pinching

TW and tags: oral sex (f receiving), bully!Sungchan x plus size!reader, bullying (duh), heavy dubcon.

WC: 1.8k

Comment: thank you so much hahaha, I'm happy that you like my silly content, I love toxic!riize too, to be honest, I also want to write a toxic!sungchan x plus size!reader, I have an idea but I've been so busy I haven't been able to write properly in days, still, i hope you like this bully!Sungchan. Pd: please look at that picture, I imagined him looking like that the whole time.

You have a couple of memories from that place, like how good it felt to hug your grandmother before bed, how there was a little stall in front of your school that always had tasty sweets, and how there was a little boy you used to walk home with after classes finished.

There wasn’t much objection once your mother said you would go back and live together in your grandmother's place to not leave the house empty. You had a couple of friends, but it was nothing special, so you said goodbye to them and moved with your mother without problem.

You had to admit you were even kind of happy, perhaps you could eat those sweets again, and you wouldn’t be able to hug your grandmother, but at least you would feel her presence with the old floors and flower decorations that surrounded every room, and especially, you hoped you could see him again.

You should've known by that point in your life that having expectations only leaves you with the sour aftertaste of disappointments.

The stall wasn’t there anymore, your mother changed the whole house, leaving no trace of your grandmother behind, and the sweet boy that used to follow you with a smile now followed you to make fun of you.

It was easy to recognize him, he had the same eyes and shiny smile, and you were elated to see a good old friend now all grown up into a real man, but he wasn’t as happy to see you there, showing you a disgusted face once you told him who you were.

‘’Don’t fucking talk to me’’ he said, and you didn’t understand what you had done wrong, perhaps you were too confident, or your perfume wasn’t to his liking, or your hand was sweating too much when you touched him, you had no idea why he reacted like that, but you understood that, just like his appearance, he had changed, because that sweet boy you used to know would never talk to you that way.

Just that interaction was enough to make you never want to approach him again, and you tried to not even look at him when you recognized his voice, you didn't want to hear that tone ever again, and you did your best, but it was useless, you had become his new favourite thing.

At first, he was all words and no bite, throwing comments every now and then about your physical appearance, comparing you to a pig when you ate your lunch in the cafeteria, or mocking your uniform for being bigger than normal because of your size.

His friends only laughed at his comments, and those who weren’t his friends stayed silent, no one dared to approach you afraid of receiving the same treatment.

Then, he started to touch you.

He pinched your arm, telling you to give him your homework to copy it, then it was your cheeks, telling you to stop eating if you didn’t want to gain weight, and then, one day, when all of them had left for EP class and you were searching for your towel in your seat, from behind, he pinched your waist.

You turned to him, scared, it had hurt a lot more than when he did it to your cheek, and he definitely had done it with the intention of hurting you.

When you looked at his face, his typical grin wasn’t there, replaced by a surprised face and curious eyes, and you felt that something wrong was about to happen, so you pushed him out of the way and walked out of there as soon as you could without caring that you left with empty hands.

‘’Where’s your towel?’’ your professor asked you.

‘’I forgot it’’ you answered, not wanting to go back to the classroom.

Later, Sungchan arrived with your towel in his hand, and you got punished for not bringing all the obligatory material.

He got worse.

if he crossed you in the hallways, he would shamelessly pinch your waist until you hissed, and when he found you in the library, between shelves, he would pinch your ass, grinning from ear to ear at the picture of you biting your lips to not make a sound and get in trouble again.

As if everything he did was an innocent game, he smiled at you after nipping you in different parts of your body, like the side of your ribcage when you decided to walk away, the back of your hand when you tried to push him or your thighs when he sat beside you in the cafeteria or the study room.

‘’Why are you doing this?’’ you whispered, pushing his hand away from prying under your skirt and pinching your upper leg.

‘’Look at all that skin, your body is begging for it’’ he answered, grabbing your round hand with force to stop you from getting away, and then when you tried to do it again, he pinched the space of your boob that your bra didn’t cover, making you whimper of pain, laughing at your hurt expression.

‘’It really hurts!’’ you tried to reason with him, but he was a lost case, and he didn’t care that you were full of little purple and green spots, flinching at the mere sight of him lurking around, he wanted more.

This is going to end at one point, you tried to fool yourself.

He’d get tired and leave you alone when he found a new toy, it was impossible he only focused on you the whole time, and even if it was like that, it was your last year. After that, you’d never see him again.

Everything has an end.

Your house was the only safe space you had, even if it wasn’t anything like the warm memory you had about it, it was a place that had never been tainted by Sungchan, not like your school or the streets you walked to get there.

He would sometimes follow you and murmur insults while pretending he was your good friend walking you home, but once you opened your door and saw that he stayed feet away, you would exhale, relieved of him not trying to follow you inside too.

‘’Your friend is waiting for you in your room, I’ll go and buy something for you to eat later’’ your mother smiled, ‘’He’s become such a handsome boy’’.

She, unlike you, was excited to have him there, and you, trying to breathe properly to not show how the panic was consuming you, nodded.

There was nothing you could do to run away, it was your house, and opening your door, you saw him calmly looking at your stuff.

Your pillow wasn’t where you left it, he had definitely been roaming around for a while, invading your space and doing whatever he wanted, like he always did.

Standing in front of your bookshelf, one of your books open in his hands, he recognized your presence.

‘’Thought you would never come, didn’t know you took so many walks’’ he said and went through the pages of it, as if there was exactly something he was looking for, ‘’it doesn’t explain why you still look like that though’’.

‘’Sungchan… I’ve done nothing to you’’ you sounded as if you begging at that point, ‘’why… I don’t get why’’.

‘’I have my reasons’’ he answered, leaving the book where it was.

You flinched when he showed the intention of getting close to you, your hands becoming fists, alert, ready to run to another room in case he tried to hurt you again.

‘’We were friends’’ you said, lower lip trembling, ‘’please stop, Sungchan, it hurts’’.

He saw you like that, broken, vulnerable, and he beamed with it, walking towards you, and you thought your body would listen to you and escape, but it didn’t. Closing your door behind you, he pressed the little secure, making you finally react with the sound of the click, trembling in your place.

‘’But if I don’t touch you, who else will?’’ he whispered, taking your shaking hand, not pinching it this time, he interlocked his fingers with yours and pulled you closer to him, ‘’if you’re good, I’ll stop being so hard with you, what do you think about that?’’ he offered.

You didn’t understand, being good with what? You stayed still, looking up at him, your chest pressed against him, and his other hand went to rest over the small of your back, the generous curve from your ass to your waist that was the object of so many of his jokes.

You could see where the thing was going, and you felt yourself get nauseous with his aroma flooding your room and his temperature making you hot with almost no distance between your bodies.

‘’My mom will come back in any second…’’ you didn’t know what other excuse to use.

‘’I’ll be quick’’ his tongue poked out and wet his lips, sending a signal to your brain that screamed just be good and finish it.

‘’Will it hurt?’’ your face betrayed you, plainly showing all the fears you had, giving him, once again, the upper hand.

‘’Not anymore’’ he assured you. His hand that used to bring you so much pain suddenly became gentle and trailed up, caressing your arm with multiple marks from him, groping your chest a few times before he cupped your face. You didn’t make a single sound, not the hiss you always left out when he pinched you, or the cry when he was being too much, ‘’well done’’ he praised you when you let him open your thighs with his leg.

He quickly found his place, your pants were somewhere in your room, and his head was between your trembling legs, slurping all the involuntary wetness your body made you drip to accept him and not suffer.

Not being able to say his name properly, you moaned when his palms gripped your meaty thighs a bit too hard and his tongue found your entrance, bumping his nose against your clit between your plump folds, making you squirm at the intense sensation of him eating you out like a hungry man.

Your hands went to his hair, and you don’t know what flooded you, but you felt free to hurt him too, so you pulled his hair and moved your hips to crash his face, using him instead of the way around.

Then it felt good, to hurt him felt really good, and you thought, maybe this is why he does it, because you had never felt so powerful and in control before, especially with him.

Looking down, you two made eye contact even with your chubby stomach prodding out. His eyes had nothing of the mockery they always showed, completely lost instead, and you whimpered when he seemed pleased to have you focusing on him and what he was doing.

Not much after he started fucking you with his tongue the knot in your stomach started to feel so tight you knew it would snap in any second, so closing your large legs around his head, you crushed his head as much as you could while cumming, overflowing over his mouth and nose, asphyxiating him for a few seconds before you relaxed and finished giving him all you had.

He didn’t move away, gulping your juices and then moving his mouth up to leave a loving peck on your clit, as if he was proud you had abused him like that, and before he caught his breath again, he talked. ‘’See? This didn’t hurt’’ he smiled with the lower half of his face glistening with your orgasm.

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Eps 28-29 Speedrun...

I'm trying to play catch up after falling behind a bit, so here's just a highlight reel/speedrun (as much as I can speed...which is not very much tbh). The meta has dwindled down to nothing; I do apologize. This is very much just reaction-based. Also, I'll probably have to stay out of the tag once the express episodes come out, unless the site I'm watching on uploads those eps too.

Spoilers incoming!

Ep 28

Heh. ZYC's plausibly deniable jealousy is back and boy have I ever needed it. His cursing better be more intense now that he's basically confessed to ZYZ several times over lmao. And oh how precious he is, taking Ying Lei's ice marks comment seriously enough to double check his neck.

Ah. Watching WX's convo with Princess Longyu while knowing what happens in ep 29, the irony of her lie about being poisoned...Good (and terrible) stuff...

Oh god oh dear I was watching the whole acting ordeal through my fingers with preemptive second-hand embarrassment for ZYC. The moment WX pulled out her little booklet but we were cut off from seeing the msg, I knew, esp given the very pointed shots of the fish right before their whole convo haha. Not bad of a set-up imo, more subtly natural than usual which I like since I prefer explanatory flashbacks to have a bit more premeditation baked into the original scene for viewers to pick up on in real-time, which this show doesn't always do.

But oh my. I have to say this. I apologize in advance but it's in my damn handle so forgive me but—ZYC is so fucking lovely when sulky and embarrassed. I'm smitten. I had seen the director post those shots of TJR all dramatically lit and beautifully framed months ago and I had no idea it was going to be used for this. And this is coming off the heels of the previous episode's mpreg joke, which I'm still not over. This show's commitment to flustering ZYC's character needs to be studied and replicated in fanfics. Who said that? Not me. Anyway.

I've seen mixed reactions to ZYC not being in on the acting, but just for me personally, I like that it wasn't intentional for them to leave him out, and I really am glad to have heard his honest feelings in that moment. It felt significant to see him make that decision against even the rest of their family, and I'd personally rather it come out while the rest of them are playing at discord than actually seeing them fight internally just to witness ZYC draw his ultimatum so genuinely and seriously. It feels like yet another moment where the narrative is creatively committing subtext into text for us and for ZYZ to hear, without having to torment us with somehow worsening the stakes within their group to the extent that would elicit such a reaction.

WZY and Chongwu Camp really invest in a lot of latex skin huh?

Oh my god I love that PSJ sucks at acting too. Her panic at having to pretend lmfaooo. Also, this gets at something I really should have realized much earlier on, but the way ZYC and PSJ have so many similarities in disposition and belief, and also how WX and ZYZ overlap a lot in their inclination for acting and playful tricks and teasing—I love that. WX and ZYC each gravitating towards respectively familiar personalities in romantic partners, which actually very much happens irl. Basically seeking out personalities similar to their comforting (pseudo-)familial bonds. Also explains why I love both ZYC and PSJ so much.

Lmfao Ying Lei's theme song kicking in as he volunteers to hold onto the dragon scale really does get me. His song captures his character so well.

Any day I get to watch TJR inception-act as Ao Yin acting as ZYC is a good day for me. That little snarl of a reaction after Ying Lei pulled out his weapon is some good shit. I love that even the texture of his voice and the cadence of his line delivery is different (the stark contrast when actual ZYC shows up in the next scene is *chef's kiss*). And he is uniquely suited for batting his eyelashes, I must say.

Okay! Onto Ep 29:

First ZYC forgets how to count when he calls them a group of five...now ZYZ tricks Ying Lei into giving his all to protect an empty box...when will the grievances against Ying Lei end?

My live reaction to finding out WX's been fatally poisoned: ZYZ, ZYC, Bai Jiu, and WX passing around the hot potato of mortality.

I'm glad for some more emotional development on the Li Lun!Bai Jiu front! I feel like he's been on the back burner for a bit with the ZYC demonizing (which he caused anyway, lol). I am certainly intrigued by Ying Lei being around to hear Li Lun!Bai Jiu's monologue and what this may lead to. And it's been said but LZY (Bai Jiu's actor) does soooo well here it's such a great watch.

Also...Li Lun wants a roof (well, technically, eaves) to shelter from the rain and a lamplight in the dark? Sounds like a throuple with ZYC and ZYZ really might fix him tbh.

Justice for WX in ZYC's flashback from two years ago. She does not say "Are you stupid?" but more along the vibe of "Don't be silly" as she and ZYC discuss his snake bite. The subs are too literal here it makes her sound so out of pocket lmao

God I'm so glad PSJ slapped all of WX's will to live back into her in ep 27 because yes girl!!! Fight for your right to live!! Also, speaking of, where tf is PSJ ): Her girl is dying, why doesn't she get any screen time to react? Do I assume she knows or not?

But yay! The contract ripping was cute. As an aside, I do wish I personally felt enough of a spark between ZYZ and WX to ship them on my own because the writing is there for their pairing to be pretty solid. Like I've said before, they're sweet and good together but they just don't rot my brain. I wonder what's missing for me because I honestly like their acting much more than I expected to. Perhaps it could also be a matter of contrast, as some dynamics in the web of relationships stand out to me in terms of chemistry more than others, even if we're not talking strictly romantic (I mean, I'm of the belief that TJR could have chemistry with a brick wall if he wanted to). Anyway though, I'm going off topic. ZYZ and WX cute (and tragic)!

I gasped at ZYC going to meet WZY. That's what I call desperate measures.

Ha, ZYZ asking ZYC to protect him while he's weakened from the Ever-Burning Wood reminds me of CQL c:

Yooooooo ZYC grabbing the newly reforged Cloud Light Sword and all that gorgeous light. What a hero. Smitten, I say.

Ohhhh the Li Lun/ZYC superimposed images, the way I was holding my breath and worried for a second that ZYZ would call ZYC by the wrong name !!!! That's some legit ex-vs-current-lover storytelling like whew. But I needed ZYC to catch ZYZ a little better than that when he fell like embrace the man already pls

The cave scene!!!!! I'm looking through my fingers. I feel like I'm intruding. How many jade pendants does ZYC have on his person for ZYZ to drink at any given moment? And oh wow something about the framing of ZYC's hand on the wine bottle as he mixes it—what an intimate ritual. Feels like I watched ZYC make three separate confessions just seeing him pull out the jade, mix the drink for ZYZ, and hold it out to him with his eyes averted...And then he goes and lays his heart bare (again! once more on top of the conversation in ep 26 like he is really not letting any chance of misunderstanding arise he is trying to show his hand as much as possible wow). But yeah who's gonna gif the wine mixing for me?

Fuckkkk, they're zhiji, they said it, I'm going insane.

I love ZYZ's pause right before he drinks the first cup. Watching the gravity of this moment and ZYC's absolute sincerity hit him, settle on him. Such a meaningful and significant breath between actions. Like, we are allll aware of how serious this is.

ZYC holding intense eye contact while drinking the second cup??? Uh??? I really should be turning away now right? And ZYZ's stare back is truly indistinguishable from his openly loving looks at WX. I am on the floor.

All of ZYC's toasts are about ZYZ being a savior of some kind ;-;

Another live reaction: WHEN DID ZYC BECOME A SURGEON THEY JUST DID SURGERY ON ZYZ'S CORE IM CRYING.

ZYC most dramatic surgeon I've ever seen did you see the way his hair caught the wind? God but his nonchalance is killing me. Yes why not bare your heart and soul over some wine you mixed specifically for ZYZ and then operate on ZYZ's core in one sitting? All in a night's work I guess. Also ZYZ's still recovering from the Ever-Burning Wood oh my god someone take ZYC's license away what is this medical malpractice. Bai Jiu is out of commission for a little bit and all of a sudden everyone thinks they're a doctor smh.

All I have to say about the WZY meeting is sometimes I get so distracted by ZYC's eyelashes. Also goodbye and good riddance WZY! Unless the drama decides to pull a fast one on us, which is never beyond the realm of possibility here. But at least he burned.

PSJ is back :D Head empty except for how pretty her red cape is.

Ouuugh Li Lun who is constantly possessing people and obsessively making others look at the real him and Ao Yin who is constantly impersonating people and now asking to be remembered for how she actually looks. What a pair, I can see why they stuck together all this time. Also Ao Yin's true form is so pretty. Girl I know you killed a bunch of people and continuously framed our heroes and caused so so so much heartache for them but I'll remember your true form dw )-:

The borrowed sympathy Li Lun gets while in Bai Jiu's body is quite poignant and so complicated and tbh I want more of it. As someone who doesn't want him to go down this unfortunate path any further, I have hopes about the potential there, but it's probably safer to expect the worst.

Not sure if this more surface-level commentary is still fun to read, but this will probably be all I have time for from now til the end. And since I'll be staying out of the tag soon, it'll just be me shouting into the void for the next few days. Thanks to anyone still sticking around and reading these!

Also sorry I don't add more photos on the regular, I'm watching the show in pretty shitty resolution and on a player than is awful to screenshot from (-:

[crystallinestars]

Hello again, it's been a while! (since the last rants after the homophobia thing haha) I just wanted to send you and all the previous anons much love and support! I also hope that all these discussions will be seen as the humble brainstorming / sharing of experiences and ideas that they are.

As for all that was discussed before (loved the rants btw), I've said it before and I'll say it again: many people don't see stories as carefully woven threads / creative tools made by humans, they see it as tropes and mirrors. I feel like at some point experiencing stories has stopped being about "how do these things connect and what kind of interpretations can you draw from the source?" to become "what does this story says about / how can I make this story about me, myself & I?". And it doesn't help that this take echos one of the most common (but also very cliché ngl) thing that can be said about what a story is (I think we've all heard something like "stories help us learn things about ourselves").

If we go from there, what can you say to someone who sees their reflection in a story without looking or sounding like the "bad guy"? After all, how dare others question one's identity? Surely they must be some kind of puritan evil and a "x-phobe"!

I saw discussions on Twitter saying a few years ago that some people have cannibalized "leftist" jargons so much that they end up sounding like the very conservative they're trying to push back against and now "social justice" in many communities (esp in fandoms) is used as a weapon to police what everyone does in their corner, even if they're not bothering anyone else. It's too bad imo that in the court of social justice and its jargon, bullying and harrassment aren't treated as serious offenses, but I digress 🤷🏻‍♀️

Going back to the "people love tropes" thing, while I find it sad that it often seems they do not see anything beyond these tropes, a huge part of the blame definitely lies with the creators / companies providing this content. I agree with you 1000% that Mihoyo knew what they were doing with Alhaitham and Kaveh, what with how popular the phrase "and they were roommates!" has become. This is also why I hate when fandoms tell people like the bi anon for example that they should just "find other people like them in the community <3", because it essentially means "go be a killjoy somewhere else and spend your time dodging the content you don't want to see". I'm also not a big fan of popular fandom activties (shipping being at the top of the list, even if technically I don't mind hearing people talk about their hcs and interpretations, so long as they do it respectfully) so I understand how restrictive the experience can be.

And finally, the Kaveh situation. Both you and the anon made great points and frankly? Thank you so much for addressing all these things! Nothing irks me more than people going "omg x behaviour / outfit is SOO gay". I know it's supposed to be a facetious little joke originally and I'm also not here to bring justice to the pixels, but after hearing this so many times I'm starting to believe that many people genuinely think that you can identify a person's orientation just by looking at them. What happened to "traditional / straight men should embrace their 'femenine' side"? Idk, I think about this a lot and I've yet to truly gather my thoughts on the subject, but I do feel like this way of going about these things is a slippery slope leading straight into stereotyping territory.

Also, I feel you both when you say you don't think kavetham is a viable ship. It's of course a matter of taste and people are definitely allowed to play with different dynamics (healthy or not). I just think it's also a case of latching onto a trope (opposites attract maybe) and rolling with it. I've been friends with people whose personalities were drastically different from mine, and while it was fulfilling because we were constantly challenged by each other, let me tell you that this constant was also EXHAUSTING, to the point that it sometimes felt like having to walk on eggshells to keep the balance stable. So yeah, while I can see the appeal in a ship like kavetham, I'm not a fan. I could enjoy it if people focused more on the fragility and vulnerability that such a relationship can create, but alas. I suppose top/bottom discouse brings much more instant gratification.

Anyway, I think the girlies here (and all those who wish to join) should form an alliance and keep doing their things away from the drama. I'm really glad that your blog is a safe space to vent and talk about these things 💜

Glad to see you again, Anon! 💚

I never imagined that stating I'm not into BL in my bio would spark so much discussion on the topic of modern fandom culture. Not that I mind since I enjoy talking about these things, but it does make me wonder if there should be a dedicated space for it so everyone can talk about it together. In the meantime, I am more than happy to be a safe space for others to vent their frustrations and share their opinions on the topic 😊

We talked before about how people project themselves onto stories and characters, and you also made a really good addition to this that I haven't thought of before. It does seem like people stopped interpreting stories for their message/idea, and are now using it as a way to validate themselves instead. It makes me wonder what it is about modern Western culture that's pushing people to project so heavily onto entertainment media.

I won't comment too much on political jargon since I am not American, and oftentimes struggle to understand American politics. One thing I have noticed, though, is that a lot of Americans view everything around them through a political lens, even when said thing or person has nothing to do with politics. They jump to conclusions about where on the political spectrum said thing or person lies based on whether it aligns with their views, and then judge it to be either good or bad. No in-between.

And I also agree that the social justice camp has done a 180, and went from promoting equality and acceptance, to now policing everyone who doesn't adhere to their strict views of what is morally correct. It has led to a rejection of equality. I also wonder why these people feel the need to police everyone around them. Are they trying to make up for something deep down?

I am also very thankful to the anon for opening discussion on the issue of people assuming character sexuality based on physical attributes or behaviors. As we talked at length prior, the term "coding" is being thrown around everywhere to justify people's headcanons about characters. We've gone past sliding down the slope of stereotyping, because I've seen people use stereotypes to describe characters, and parade them as proof that the character is gay-coded.

For example, I saw someone say Kaveh is gay-coded because he whines and complains a lot, dresses feminine, and shows no interest in women (Said person also said a lot of other WILD things to try and defend their point. It was one of the most surreal conversations I've ever had). Some of this stereotyping started out as a joke, as you said, but lately it doesn't feel like a joke anymore.

Glad you are also of the opinion that Kaveh and Haitham wouldn't make a good romantic couple! Every time I see someone compile a list of how they're designed as a pair, and therefore meant to be lovers, I want to write a list stating why their personalities wouldn't make them work. Or if they do start dating, then why it would inevitably fall apart. But I digress.

I feel you when you say you've been friends with someone who is your polar opposite, and how difficult it can be. Though I wouldn't even call us friends because we are just too different to understand each other's point of view. It's frustrating and exhausting, for sure, which is why I commend you for being able to keep a friendship going.

Sorry for writing so much. I thought I would write less, but somehow I never can.

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us! It's definitely encouraging and vindicating knowing there are others who share our views out there.

[millepara]

himitsu no aipri episode 1 (a week late)

it's been so long since I've written about a priseries (or any other idol) show... I'm realizing that I legit didn't think I'd ever get the chance again. I got tired of doing it before because I felt like I was either complaining too much (planet) or just happy abt everything that was happening (primagi) and thus had nothing interesting to say either way, but ever since watching aipri on sunday I've been looking forward to this... I think I'm just happy about new idol anime content after such a long drought tbh but it's something good that aipri has already brought us, no matter what you or I think of anything else about it.

I missed the first 5 minutes bc I was reading bad fanfiction in bed to wake up (nigh daily routine) and totally forgot abt aipri... then I did remember and had to sprint to my computer, but the stream kept stopping so I missed some critical stuff throughout. I liked the ep okay, but maybe actually seeing all of it will improve it?

ohhh ok it starts off with those cute lemon coords in the op. actually this does help, those coords are easily my favs that I've seen in aipri so far. esp Mitsuki's blue one is sooo cute... I am saying this as a person that buys every single blue gingham item of clothing I come across though haha. I will say that the coord & dance totally don't match the sort of sweeping fairytale (just mistyped that as dairytale. hm) majesty that the bgm and voiceover is going for, but...

oh, I didn't know that Mitsuki had a snippet of performance in here. I've seen it in gameplay videos already, I like it ok---wow, it's already over.

the way Mitsuki is pausing for her viewers to answer is just like shows for preschoolers... they're really going after that age group, huh. (do actual streamers do stuff like that....?)

oh, I already saw Himari get a call from her sister. looks like I only missed 1 minute.

that is the ugliest anime dog I've ever seen, hands down, but Hiiro is cute. I'm sure she's well on her way to being the Non or whoever the prichan little sister was of aipri, in terms of popularity.

I do think it is very, very interesting that in this pretty series anime which is aimed at perhaps the youngest audience yet, they have put the mc in a dorm, away from her family. weird. actually I am for the first time realizing exactly how many anime have schools with dorms. you'd think japan is overflowing w boarding schools but idk of a single one lmao...

Mitsuki: it sure was the right decision to move into the dorm!

Himari: (completely ignores her statement to bring up aipri)

Himari's look out of aipri is really cute, I've finally decided. it's a shame that her twintails as an aipri are such a weird shape??? why do they curve up on the outside like that, all I can see is a large intestine when I look at them...... :(

the first time I watched this my internet cut out just as Mitsuki's face was approaching Himari's. I knew what she was doing bc of the comic in the aipri fanbook, but still it was like, oh! looks like it's gonna be another totally straight pretty series show!

oh man, the op. the song itself is cute and catchy, but this vtuber's voice is just too much, and it gets more too much as the song goes on. I get the appeal of her being a "real-life aipri", and presumably she's popular so her fans might be drawn to watch, but I hope she doesn't sing the next op too..... oh you know what would be kind of cool is if every op was sung by a different vtuber. that way if one sucked we wouldn't have to hear them again, and they'd showcase a lot of different people.

Meganee is especially exceptionally cute in her op cameo!!!

oh. A Crush. let it be insignificant 🙏 but if they become idol princesses too I'll allow it.

I like Chii's voice a lot, and her passion regarding aipri, but on the list of things I'm finding myself saying "oh. shame :( " about is her unfortunate hairstyle. also speaking of things that remind me of other things, her name Chii Mamiya sounds like "chi mamire" (blood-soaked) or "chi mame" (blood blister). surely I am not the only Japanese understander who hears this.

Yusa Kouji-sensei has by far my fav character design in this show. he is officially my favorite aipri.

wow, it's the classic post-covid tv broadcast opening ceremony... a chillingly real element in this fantasy rich kid school. irl this is the first year since covid we've had in-person opening ceremonies in many schools, it's a shame they don't get to at paradise academy yet lmao

I'm not even going to touch this whole welcome speech. I'm just going to slowly back away and pretend like I didn't see anything.

I love the aikatsu-level background character design in this classroom!! bicolor twintails is cute.

I wonder if these elementary schoolers are relevant or are just there to show how many people are watching Himari.

lmao despite what I said about Chii I think we were sharing the same braincell when she said "Her Victoria levels are out of control!!" they totally are!!

am I misunderstanding this or did Victoria not ban aipri? didn't she say "in moderation" only...? this is literally the same kind of thing schools say irl abt cutting down on screen time. just more dramatic.

so the elementary kid is relevant. Yuma... will he be an aipri too? if not, why would he even exist?

I didn't catch the first time around that this bracelet was the one uh, Candy Motif was fiddling with in the student council meeting. where'd she get it from?

this is the least amount of love I've ever seen put into a commercial break eyecatch.

are the aimus... cute? I can't see it...

it's very funny that the lipstick immediately disappears when they go 3d. they knew it looks bad, and they've still gotta cram it in there for that single second to sell toys.

this cgi. I think everyone's said it so far, but it's really not the best... I think I might like the game's graphics a little better, even. I do like seeing the coords lit up at least.

P.O.P.P.Y is a cute enough song. it's just barely on the listenable side of the line for me, but I do think it's a great match for what aipri is going for. also that is definitely a dance that was made for preschoolers to imitate.

buzzalyume... idk if anyone is aware or not, but buzz is a word that's in really common use regarding social media in japan atm. like you would say "that's buzzing" (literally I mean, figuratively it's more like "that's all the buzz" like the english use of the word) about something that's all over your timeline or whatever. so it's not totally out of left field for them to choose that word in particular, but it doesn't mean that it sounds any less forced, that's for sure!!

Bear Bear Bear's voice is cute.

I don't like these emoji reactions all over the screen. not cute.

the ed is cute.

...finally, I watched it all. whew. I have to say, I was not wowed by it! but it was fine. it's far better than having no pretty series at all. I keep thinking "I'll put off my opinion till I know more about it" about aipri and I'm tempted to say it again now--in this episode we barely met the main two characters in favor of worldbuilding. it kind of makes sense as the first ep of a little kid show, but will the rest of the show stay at this same level of character depth? it's way too early to say. but for me, that's what'll determine how much I like it.

[wheelsup-sevenup]

20 questions for 20 writers

thank you @gingerpeachtea for the tag!! :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 20 😮‍💨

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 69,349. (69‼️‼️)

3. What fandoms do you write for? a lot of marvel, mostly black widow (meaning nat-centric, though i do have a lot for bw 2021) or hawkeye (queerplatonic kate/yelena i love and miss you), and lately some agents of shield too!! those are the ones i tend to finish + post but trust i have so many wips from other fandoms locked and loaded. how do we feel abt tma

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. you’ve begun to feel like home — 926 kudos, wednesday (2022) 2. at least i know i am here to stay — 575 kudos, hawkeye (2021) 3. we’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got — 485 kudos, black widow (2021) 4. okay, this looks bad — 329 kudos, hawkeye (2021) 5. put your arms around somebody else — 306 kudos, hawkeye (2021)

goddd these are all so old haha. anyway

5. Do you respond to comments? ofc!! sometimes it takes me a min because i like to let em marinate but yes i love the interactions and sometimes you get a conversation going its delightful!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ooh shit. see a lot of my fics are angsty as hell but they tend to end on a positive or at least hopeful note so this is hard. maybe nothing we were ever trained for ? or take this longing from my tongue if it was finished lol, the last chapter’s pretty angsty

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? probably put your arms around somebody else. just a coupla goofballs being dumb and gay (platonically)

8. Do you get hate on fics? not yet and hopefully never. i’ve had some low reading comprehension takes tho

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? ooh so. i would. and i might. especially the angsty thematic and insightful kind

10. Do you write crossovers? yes :3 i don’t even have my longest one posted and i fear it never will be

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? god i hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no but i have gotten comments in other languages which means someone translated it, if that counts lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? noo but i absolutely would

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? i’ve never shipped anyone or anything (/j i just can’t choose)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? either my aos high school au (the outline is delicious but it refuses to be written) or that kate/yelena road trip thing. i actually really want to finish that one too but it’s been soooo long

16. What are your writing strengths? i’ve been told i keep things in character really well esp. dialogue, which is super cool and i’m really glad things come across that way. one thing that helps is to take real lines from the character and write them out to see how their speech actually looks written and not spoken, i figure stuff out better that way

17. What are your writing weaknesses? umm sitting down. writing. completing literally anything. not deciding i hate my wip and deleting the entire thing (i’m getting better about the last one, at least i keep my old drafts now)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? well the only other language i’ve done dialogue in is russian and i do not remotely know russian. so that part is google translate. that said, every “writing bilingual characters” advice post has said that real people don’t mix languages midsentence, but i really think that depends because where i’m from, you hear a lot of spanglish, which is definitely mixed throughout the sentence, so you know. don’t believe everything you see online i guess? anyway those are my thoughts

19. First fandom you wrote for? ough i’ve been writing for a long time so i don’t even really know. but first official fic? gotta be criminal minds. jemily <3

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? GODDD I DON’T KNOWW!!!!! maybe we’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got. i like whump and i like writing it, and i think it’s really in character not to mention it was very popular.

this took me forever to finish but trust me it was soo much fun i love talking about myself it turns out <3

tags!!

@spadesmusings @katebishopofearth @lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently @quietlyimplode @thewickedverkaiking

no pressure as usual, and anyone else who wants to do this please please do!!!

[superfluouskeys]

Personal ask anon here! Yeah, no worries, it is a bit of a personal question! I just found that even though I never thought I'd have a partner and least of all get married, I have completely accidentally met a woman I'm now engaged to, and it has been such a weird experience, in the sense that I am not even remotely as crazy about it as I thought I'd be. I never believed in engagement nor marriage, and then one morning relatively recently I was just totally impulsively like haha, this is so great, marry me? And she was like, yeah! :) And I was so taken aback by my own behaviour that it took me several weeks to process lol, especially because I feel no regret about doing it. I have had dozens of weird flings, situationships, relationships, and most of them were toxic and weird as fuck, but then I find myself at almost thirty (which is still pretty young imo), this woman comes along and I rediscover the power of love lol?! Is that what getting older is?? I simply wanted to hear from someone my age or older who might have Thoughts to share that are not "uwu you've Found One True Love Disney Bullshit" haha! I genuinely think it is a shift in me personally, and not me just finding the perfect person that Cured Me, even though we are objectively a good match on many levels. It just feels so normal?? Anyway, this was ranty! You don't have to respond, I just thought you might have interesting opinions on this topic, you vibe like someone who has Lived Life in the sense that you're not a chronically online person whose perception of relationships is forged on the internet lol

Ahhh, I understand now!! That's really wonderful news, congratulations!!!!!

Since I didn't want to answer the first question (which I suppose is a kind of answer lol) I wasn't sure how to frame the rest without more info! I definitely find lately that I'm thinking a lot about how I used to view and be in relationships when I was younger, and especially how much I've chilled out about it lol! I think it's partly just getting older, but it's also learning and growing from your past experiences, and being open to the changes within yourself! Lots of people get older and keep doing the same shit, and/or they're the ones out here propagating fake bs that makes themselves feel better about their shitty choices while making esp younger people feel like they're just doing it wrong, or like that's something they could never imagine for themselves. Learning from both good and bad experiences and choosing to do and find better is not nothing!

And I definitely feel you that it takes a little bit of an adjustment period just to be like, 'oh, i guess i'm like this now?? huh.' I used to be really emotionally closed off and guarded, and it took me an unreasonably long time to even decide if I liked or could trust someone on a very baseline level. Not too long ago I realized I'm fairly open-hearted these days, and that I can trust my instincts--when I know I like someone, I know, and if it turns out it doesn't work for other reasons, I can accept that it's not some kind of moral failing on my part. But it took a couple of months of just sitting with that realization before I could be like, yeah, I think this is just how I feel now, and I need to adjust how I act accordingly to respect that change in myself!

And god I also used to hate how people would be like 'you'll just feel different when you're older, your priorities will just change uwu' when from my perspective they were justifying settling for less than their worth LOL! When really what I think it comes down to is meeting someone you click with when you're both ready for it, and you've done enough work on yourselves to be able to roll with the punches! It's a truly beautiful thing to realize one day that in spite of everything, you're willing, able, and ready to love! I wish you all the best, and thank you so much for sharing!!!

[halfdeadwallfly]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers✨

!!! (I realized too late this is five things, ten ppl :(((( sorry abt that one.... Feel free not to read but I wanted to talk abt them haha )

My acappella group--- I was in a lot of groups and things in high school, and I listened to a lot of sentimental graduation talks about people finding their home and their family in those places. It always made me so sad, because I never did. But even though I'm not close friends with everyone in acappella now, I already feel so much more comfortable and at home with it already than I ever did in high school. I love the people all so much, and I'm so happy to be around them every time we go to rehearsal and every time we perform. Being in acappella has been the highlight of my year honestly, and I'm so grateful for it. I love the music, I love to direct and lead and sing, and the people are just so so so kind. Genuinely. Even when I feel anxious or stressed or I feel like I need to hide, I know that I can work through it, because I really just trust that outside of my own social anxiety, these people are kind and genuine. I love them so much and being around them makes me so happy.

Making flower chains -- pure pure fun. Can do anything you like during. Or nothing. Listen to a podcast. Listen to the buggies. Like down. Run around. Frolick. I love finding a good patch of flowers with long stems, esp if there's multiple kinds, and just really investing myself in them. You can find little buggies and greet them and love them so much when you are in the grass and such, and it is super nice to see them all. My favorites are rolly pollies but I also like snails and slugs a lot and also I think ants are cute and beetles and worms so I always try to help out the worms if they get lost

Writing poetry -- very good to do, do not always recommend rereading. Do recommend taking poetry 1 with [redacted] at my school bc he is the greatest and so kind and helpful. I love writing poetry even if it does make me hate myself for being too pretentious sometimes. Sometimes I like what I write and it is nice to talk about with people and get thoughts and opinions

Reading abt gender theory -- Genuinely life-changing thing taking that intro to wgss class this year lolollll. Maybe it is silly of me, but that class really made me rethink myself and where I want to go with my life. There's so much more that I want to read and learn and I'm almost anxious that I can't do it fast enough

Looking at the stars and clouds -- a good one. It makes me happy. I am very small. Sky is beautiful like art. It's the same and it's never the same. I'm getting tired sky is still up there. Space is very very very cool. Clouds are very very very cool

Cicadas -- BEAUTIFUL CREATURES!!!!! they have been so loud this year and I had to wear headphones outside while watering the plants for a while, but I also get to see all of them out there!!!!!!!!!! And different kinds too!!!! They are so beautiful and lovely and it makes me so happy to see them and hear them too most of the time. When I was little they would always be dying under the trees at recess and the boys would mess around with them when they couldn't fly away, so I had to go make them stop so they wouldn't be dying while being tormented by ten year old boys. I was always very mad when they did that and I'm always still super sad to see cicadas in the midst of dying when they can't fly anymore. But I love their singing and their songs and their nice nice eyes, and I like to pick them up if they let me and have them crawl all over my arms because their legs are sticky and nice. They're the prettiest little bugs and I love them

Melted brie cheese -- yummy.

Putting on pajamas after work -- I work in a warehouse with no ac which is ok but kinda sucks in the summer, esp when it's super humid like it is now where I am. I also package coffee that often is flavored with really strong syrups, and is often ground, so I almost always leave work smelling intensely like pancake syrup (less nice than it sounds after nine hours) and covered in gritty coffee. It's a good job and I like it a lot actually, but boy by the end of a day when the temperature is high, it's super tiring. When I get home I just take off all my work clothes and turn off the lights and lie in the dark, and it's so nice and calming and I really love getting to do that, and relax into a calm cool late afternoon.

Drinking coffee with real cream -- Aka. super duper yummy. I get to work before everyone else in the morning, so I make the first coffee pot and I always make me and the other early packaging person's fav blend, and it's basically my favorite part of the morning, watching the sun rise while the coffee brews and coming back to my work area to greet the morning window spiders. At home in the summer, I love making iced coffee with milk and adding just an eeeeensy bit of cream, it's so tasty and it makes it all nutty and buttery and rich, and it brings out all the good flavors.

Listening to podcasts -- thank you podcasts you make me so happy. Right now thank you tanis for driving me insane and thank you wolf 359 for helping me feel calm and safe when I'm stressed. Special thank you to zach valenti because his voice in particular is like really soothing and anyway that sounds weird but like you know what I mean. Past thank you to potterless for getting me into podcasts and referring me to the bright sessions, which was the first audio drama I listened to and got sooo into. Special thank you to lauren shippen for being like my favorite podcaster ever oh my gosh, and honorable mention to briggon snow for being in so many of those lauren shippen related shows. Thank you wtnv for coming near me so I could see the attic. Thank you to literally every show I've listened to. Basically everybody in my life thinks the podcast thing is kinda weird and laughs a bit when I get too into it, but honestly this is like. A really important thing to me now. I love podcasts a lot and they make me very very happy to get to listen to

[celestie0]

ellie did you hear about the solar storm thing thats been going around?

my friend gave me a detailed explanation abt what it is whats going to happen n all n honestly i am TERRIFIED.

like it genuinely seems so real that i cant even convince myself that this is another one of those silly things that go around each year

the fact that research for this solar storm has been going on since 2019 is ???? scary ????

makes it seem more believable tbh bc if it was not real it wouldn't have been going on for so long

IM SO SCARED 😭 genuinely cried when my friend was telling me ab this and she also said thwt we'll get to know ab when the solar storm is going to hit about 30 minutes before AND NOW IM PARANOID BC IT CAN HIT ANY MOMENT NOOOOO

and to top this off my mother told me that not many ppl will survive till 2027 i have no idea where she got that from but she scared me even more

this is so bad.

hii my love yess ive heard of the solar storm, i know that solar flares in general have been talked about a lot for a while now but i didn’t know that there was recent news about it!

i’m sorry you’re experiencing anxiety regarding it :””( yeahh ive heard that solar flares are near impossible to predict in advance for a lot of reasons, so that can definitely heighten the fear

hm idk if it makes you feel better but i remember nasa n other news outlets were talking about solar storms the exact same way about a year ago (i just remember telling my dad ab it cuz he works in aerospace n figured his company might’ve been discussing it) but nothing happened at all within the six month period that the news had been freaking out about LOL. i panicked a lot then too n my dad said it was just fear mongering lmfaoo 💀 (he’s kind of a cynic though haha) but yea i just bring this up because it’s not the first time this sort of news has been sensationalized

following any sort of space stuff can be scary for sure n it’s super easy to get lost in article rabbit holes that can really disrupt your quality of life in the present :( but i think there have been multiple instances of space phenomena that have been hyped up in media (even by a lot of reputable news outlets) that have not really affected daily life as much as it was thought to (like the never ending cycle of news about new asteroids, the whole aliens thing, etc)

i think it’s important to remember that the scientists that are actually behind the research are completely different entities than the people writing up articles about it online, so you always have to take the news with a grain of salt or maybe try to look into accounts from the actual researchers behind the findings (who, more often than not i’ve found, don’t even panic about their own research to the level of extent a lot of media ppl do online haha)

i’m not saying i don’t believe in the possibility of a solar storm or anything like that lol i just think there’s a lot of tendency in news these days to scare tf outta people for no reason

also correct me if im wrong but the largest danger of a solar storm would be disruption of radio & internet frequencies right? i thought they werent actually powerful enough to cause any sort of biological radiation harm ;0 loss of internet access would definitely be a weird thing to see and could put stress on more developed countries, but a lot of the world doesnt even have internet access to begin with so i’m not sure how much it will actually affect livelihood (i’m aware that it’d affect a LOT of things for sure, but i’m talking ab dangers like life or death situations, n i just cant imagine that being the case? but if you’ve looked into that more than i have n have more to share then lemme know i’m really curious)

sorry, im just bringing this all up in hopes it helps w your fears, n not to invalidate them! bc i totally get it, it’s scary stuff esp when it’s stuff you feel like you have no control over. but there’s a lot of things in life we have no control over, i think it’s best to just focus on what we can control n just try to enjoy today :)

thank u for ask bb <3

[natto-axolotl]

choose violence ask game. hollow knight

hi nonnie!!! unfortunately the last time i was super into HK was 2021 but i will try.

the character everyone gets wrong: lurien. he gets watered down into a pk fanboy almost every time i see him.

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom: never ever thought about this, never ever will

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr: not going to go into detail bc everyone's moved on and it was bad but it was a lot of weird discourse that happened a couple years back

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?: discourse.

worst discord server and why: this is personal beef, but the daily HK server that imploded from surpassing the Users Prone To Discourse threshold in horrific flaming fashion. it's been literally almost 3 years though so we're all good.

which ship fans are the most annoying?: anything with grimm. terribly sorry this is not a particularly romance-inclined fandom and i cannot think about them being in love in canon

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?: grimm. sorry.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about: I haven't been keeping up with this fandom at all lately so i really dont know WJBDEJDBEN HAHA

worst part of canon: there's nothing i really don't like about the game :D

worst part of fanon: I don't reaaaally like the intense babying of pv and ghost in post canon "everyone lived" fics. let them have agency man.

number of fandom-related words you've filtered: none!!!

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them: lurien!!! this is because i briefly ran an rp blog as him, but also because i think it's interesting to think about what would've brought a character like him to be so devoted to pk's cause, and what kind of person he was when hollownest was in the prime of its life. funny towel man.

worst blorboficiation: grimm. SORRY SORRY SORRY

that one thing you see in fics all the time: strangely contrived prose to refer to the body language of all the characters. i get it but Why

that one thing you see in fanart all the time: ghost being drawn with other indie protags. little baby is officia delegate of hollow knight.

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc): everyone loves memeing on pale king as being a guy willing to kill his own babies to save his kingdom but i genuinely want some exploration of him beyond just a surface level flanderizing "lol. lmao he threw his kids off a cliff" joke. Hupis Incarnate

there should be more of this type of fic/art: i love gijinkas/humanizations esp modern day gijinkas never stop making gijinka content. also anything to do with the radiance. i love the radiance.

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...: CORNIFER AND ISELDA AND THE FIVE KNIGHTS AND (hk fixation kicks back in 2 years layer)

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...: lace/hornet. we don't even know the BACKSTORY. but do you think yuri can bloom on the battlefield.

part of canon you found tedious or boring: actually have never played HK lol

part of canon you think is overhyped: like 40% of the grimm troupe expansion. it's cool but the fanbase latched on too hard.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores: KINGDOM'S EDGE AND EVERYTHING ABOUT MONOMON AND THE SIMPLE FRAMING OF THE INSTRUCTIONS AS BEING FOR HIGHER BEINGS. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.

ship you've unwillingly come around to: lemmquirrel, i see it and im like "neat! middle aged bug yaoi and the aimlessness of a quest to reacquaint yourself with purpose! i haven't read sbabl ever!"

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse: (stares at camera) Shipping.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing: when silksong (me too. but give them some time.)

[officialtayley]

Hey :) I'm newish to the deep fandom Tayley energy, so big apologies if you've covered this extensively before. but I'm just wondering what you think the true trajectory of their closeness is, like do you think he always had feelings, do you think there's evidence that she did and just repressed or that she truly didn't see him that way until AL sort of time...just curious really and like hearing you talk about them haha x

i don't really like to say if either of them always had feelings or not because it gets people divided so i avoid that, but i'll make an exception.

i do think that taylor may have always had feelings tbh. even from way back in the day before they were famous and he'd just get on aim (i think it was aim) to talk to her for like 1 second and then leave.

as for hayley, i don't think she always did. she was def infatuated with josh back in the day (esp considering she wrote miz biz and villainised a girl over nothing), but i do think it sometimes in the later years (2011-onwards esp around 2014-2017) feelings developed for her. just based on how she'd act, but i also think she just didn't even realise that's what it was. late 2017 is when i think hayley started to see it and start to act on it rathe that repress it. in liar, she even states she doesn't know the moment, so that leads me to believe it could've easily been before AL time, but she was dead set on not being a failure with her relationship with chad and the marriage in particular that she never allowed herself to explore those feelings earlier.

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

ask thing! 1, 2, 47 (although feel free to say bff or marry since these questions are weird LOL), 50, 60, annnnnnd 83? 👀👀👀

hellooooo friend thanks for sending the thingggg <3 1. What is your biggest turn off in a person? ooof a lot of things bc i am a Bitch ahahahaha. jk, i won't act like a bitch if i don't like you but i am veeery picky about who i actually choose as my friend. i really dislike cowardice in people, generally, but esp regarding personal relationships -- we are all little gremlins afraid of rejection, but i feel like that's no excuse not to at least Try ya feel me? it also makes my blood boil when ppl try to rationalise or explain their lack of empathy and human decency as some sort of natural selection like oh i am right to hate this person because they are WEAK like. pls chill :) you are allowed to hate who you want but pls don't be self righteous about it! this also applies to ppl rationalising bad things happening to ppl as something they deserved -- i am aware this is their defence mechanism so their brain wouldn't have to deal with the reality of a Bad Thing happening to them but it makes me so angry lol -- they apply this child-level analogy of like bad things happen to bad ppl and i am Good so therefore nothing Bad will Ever happen to me and usually those ppl have also read about law of attraction and heavily misinterpreted what that's actually about :) also -- selfishness is a biiig turn off! 2. What is your biggest turn on in a person? i will tolerate many things if i like your general vibe hahah! a really big thing for me is actually being able to have quality conversations during which i feel seen. i like people who are able to process and actually hear the things you say and then actually respond to them -- many times ppl will just wait for their turn to talk or not even try to understand where you're coming from, which is fine i guess, but pls miss me with that shit bc i have no patience for it! i guess that requires a high level of emotional intelligence and that's a trait i highly value in ppl! i will try my best to offer the same courtesy to them! i also love when ppl just... try, you know? i understand it can be hard but i really love it when ppl just show up in a relationship (of any kind), flawed and broken, i don't care, but they came and they put in the effort and i will also put in the effort and.... congratulations!! you are building a relationship haha. for real i just love when ppl care and then they show they care, and sometimes it's just as simple as showing up and getting coffee together even though you're busy. it's surprising how many ppl just act on their natural instinct to pull away or get scared of genuine connection (myself included but i am WORKING on it okay). 47. If you could choose one Disney princess to be your best friend who would you chose? i chose to read this as "wife" instead of "bff" and i will have to say megara from hercules, she's exactly the type of woman that i'd go crazy about irl hahaha 50. If you had to live in the world of the last T.V. show you watched where would you be living? thaaaat would actually have to be wednesday hahha! no complaints, any world that has larissa weems in it is a good world to me! as for murderous monsters, those exist in every world, i'm not too worried haha 60. What is a relationship deal breaker for you? my last relationship ended bc my ex had trouble showing me she cared about me in a way i could understand, which, now that i think about it, is a reason many of my relationships came to an end or fizzled out over time, i just wasn't feeling appreciated. so i guess if i'm not feeling wanted i will not waste my time being there, i no longer do that to myself (i used to tho!) 83. What was the last thing that made you laugh? i laugh a LOT ahahahah and i find the stupidest things very funny. i think the last thing that made me scream with laughter was a video of an escape room chase lol it was very scooby-doo-esque. i was watching it with my sibling and literally banging my fists on the table here's a link to it if anyone is interested but prepare to be disappointed bc my sense of humour is that of a 5 year old

[t-h-i-n-g]

Prompt List

Event headline

(Limit to one scenario and one dialogue prompt per ask)

Scenario prompts

when he is not very eloquent in expressing his words that's why he tries to spend time with you more often

playing video games together (and u beating him haha)

his friends teasing him whenever you're around

going out for a walk any time you can't sleep (even in the middle of the night)

having a random eye contact and him winking at you

grabbing you by the waist when pulling you from something

when you're reading something and he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear

buying your favorite books (esp. when they know nothing abt it but still buys it anyways because he knows how much you like them)

talking about future plans when cuddling

talking and realizing they're just nodding to everything you say (because they're busy admiring u dhsdbgfgydesuh)

caressing thigh (non sexual way)

applying sunblock on your back

scrunching their nose every time you smile (because they find your smile vvvv cute)

staring at you when very focused on something (which leads to you getting flustered and not focused anymore)

trying to learn about things you like (e.g. sports)

creating you music playlists ^^^^ @chenuaswriting

hugs that always last a second longer each time

one not being able to take their eyes off the other

constant compliments. especially if one gets upset or insecure

always carrying the other's favorite item/snack with them just in case

purposely trying to make the other laugh just to see them smile

heart pounding whenever the other does so much as to hold onto their wrist while guiding them through a crowd

one just casually sitting down on the other's lap and they start internally freaking the hell out

when the other holds onto their waist briefly as they're passing by and it just send chills down their spine

their breath hitching whenever the other gets a little closer ^^^^ @novelbear

accidental hand touching

eye contact across a crowded room

exchanging secret smiles

first conversations alone

admiring them from afar

asking them about their family

visiting them at their place of work

discovering common interests

exchanging gifts for the first time

a surprise encounter

nervous embarrassment around them (blushing, fidgeting etc)

complimenting their appearance

looking at their lips as they talk

finding excuses to be alone with each other

naturally gravitating closer together

noticing their individual quirks

hello/goodbye hugs that linger

talking late into the night

clumsy attempts at flirting

playful teasing

being unable to keep their eyes off of them

attempting to find out if they are single/available

sharing an umbrella in the rain, or a coat/blanket in the cold

surprising them with their favourite treat

visiting their home for the first time ^^^^ @eloquentmoon

Dialogue Promopts

“how many times do i have to tell you you can trust me?”

“what can i get you? do you need water? a hug? space?”

“are you frustrated with me?” “never.”

“i just don’t want to be hurt again.” “i understand.”

“can you give me a second? i need a moment.”

“don’t apologize.” “sorry.” “name.” ^^^^ @corvase

"move, you're on my side of the couch."

"no, i'm not going to give you a bite because i know you're not gonna like it. then you're going to ask me how the hell i like it, and i don't want to listen to that right now."

"get up, you're snoring and i can't hear the movie." "then turn it up..." "so you can yell at me for waking you up? no!" "you woke me up anyway!"

"oh my god if you buy one more plush to occupy my spot on the bed i'm kicking you out to sleep on the couch."

"uh-uh, no more reading before bed. you keep waking me up with your dramatic gasps every time you turn the page." "well, i'm sorry that i engage and connect deeply with literature!"

"what's the point of the blanket being on the couch if it can't be used?" "it's for show!" "oh for the love of god-"

"take an extra jacket, it's cold out." "okay, mom."

“i can’t find the remote.” “i’m actually going to kill you.”

“i told you i have a meeting in an hour! get out of the bathroom!”

“as much as i’d like to stay in bed with you, i have breakfast to make for the two of us.”

“i didn’t want to wake you up...”

“snuggle with me.”

“god you’re bleeding! how the hell did you do that?” “i was trying to cut the tomatoes!

“how about this. i go out, get your favorite ice cream while you take a nice bath and by the time we’re both done, we can watch our show.”

“you look exhausted. go to bed, i’ll straighten up and take care of everything else.”

“damn it, i forgot to pick up the toothpaste.”

“well i put it on the grocery list!” “i didn’t think i needed the list!” “you clearly did!!”

“hon’, if you take any more naps on the couch you’re going to mess up your back..”

“it’s raining again..” “i guess that means we’re not going out. what movie do you want to watch?”

“i smell something burning, you’re sure you’re okay in there?” “i’m fine! i’m fine!”

“no, sweetie, it’s okay...”

“you’re so warm.” “i hear you, but we really need to get up, love.”

“close the curtains! my eyes are burning!” “don’t you think you’ve slept in long enough, you little vampire?”

“did you seriously use the last of the milk for this?” “i thought it would taste good!”

“how about you come help me clean all of this up before my mother gets here?”

“Hey, how was work- woah why are you crying? Come sit, talk to me, love...”

“I swear every time you clean I can never find anything..”

“Smells good in here! What are you making?”

“It’s been two days since you’ve moved in and you’ve already nearly burned the house down...step away from the stove.”

“I don’t think I like this color very much...maybe a lighter shade will do?” “You couldn’t have said this before we painted half the room?”

“I’m starting to think you’re breaking the dishes on purpose so that I’ll stop asking you to wash them.”

“I’m tired, let’s go on the couch and watch a movie.” ^^^^ @novelbear

"Don't sugarcoat it!"

"I don't even need to hear it!"

"I've had enough of your empty promises!"

"No, stop your sweet-talking!"

"Stop evading my questions!"

"Oh, so we're getting personal now?!"

"Have you ever considered how it's making me feel?"

"Stop beating around the bush!"

"Oh, come on! Don't act like you care!"

"But you're not making any sense!"

"We're not getting anywhere."

"No, you're unreasonable!” ^^^^ @youneedsomeprompts

[apoptoses]

(1/2) hi, so branching off of a question you answered about specific details where you mentioned knowing the scents Armand would have Daniel wearing/15th century scents being your specialty etc.: fragrances are such an obsession of mine (esp. learning more abt historical fragrances) and i would Love to hear you talk more on that subject and about those aforementioned analogous modern products 👀

(2/2) when i first read the detail about how Armand had Daniel wearing a frankincense-clove-cinnamon blend and how it melded with his usual cig smoke aroma i thought ahh man what an atmospheric gift this is. i also immediately wanted to know if there's a real world frag that you had in mind when writing that or if i'm just going to have to be insane and make my own Daniel blend to sniff haha

So when it comes to 15th/16th century perfume there's a couple things going on that's important: ambergris and civet musk. These are the base notes of so many perfumes from the time. Ambergris comes from sperm whales and while still legal to use, it just doesn't get put in perfume anymore. Civet musk was straight up banned in the 90s.

Which means whatever modern perfume you get, it's not going to smell 'right'. Synthetic musk smells nothing like the real thing. But when Daniel and Armand were first together the real stuff was still being used so high quality perfume that matched historical scents would have been around.

As far as other notes go, there's two main categories: herbs/florals, and woods/spices/resins.

For herbs and florals you see a lot of lavendar, rose, chamomile, rosemary, sage, elderflower, jasmine, carnations, lily, juniper, orange blossom, and saffron.

For woods, resins, and spices you see a lot of sandalwood, agarwood, benzoin, cinnamon bark, cloves, frankincense and mastic resin.

They would be formulated in either a water base or an oil base. Rosewater and olive oil were common. And you either go for a spicy scent or a heavily floral scent.

SO. FOR MODERN PERFUMES.

The scent I described Daniel wearing is based on a real 15th century Venetian perfume called Olio di Gugliemo Piacentino. I don't know of a modern perfume that smells the same- in my head, Armand had it custom blended for him (because of course he would).

Number 1: You want to go for eau d'parfum. Most expensive, yes, but this is the strongest smells and won't be diluted with synthetic stuff that changes the scent profile. If you can get online and get an antique bottle that isn't gone sour, it'll be even more similar to renaissance scents.

Number 2: I suggest sticking to scents where the name includes or even hints at the scent profile itself. I just have more luck finding stuff that doesn't smell synthetic that way.

Number 3: Obviously these perfumes are insanely high priced. Sniff them, find one you like, then google a good dupe and go sniff that if you want to buy and wear it yourself. It won't wear the same but it'll be similar and not $500+

The two perfume houses I'd start with are Tom Ford and Clive Christian. Some specific scents are: Oud Wood (Tom Ford, woody/ spicy), Rose Prick (Tom ford, floral/roses), Jasmin Rouge (Tom Ford floral/amber), Amber Fougere (Clive Christian, resin/amber), 1872 Masculine (Clive Christian, floral/herbal/woody).

You can also find people doing recreations on Etsy (ymmv) and you can find the recipes to makes it yourself but the components are super expensive.

Another cheap way to dupe a scent profile from a historical recipe book is to get matching essential oils, put a couple drops into a carrier oil like olive oil, and then wear that.

I hope that answers your question ♥

[gggoldfinch]

Rammstein rant post ready GO!

I know like nothing about them but I love hearing about people’s interests info dump to your heart’s content my friend! Teach me all about these concerningly sweaty dirty (?) men and their pyrotechnic shenanigans I am sitting here with my favorite pen and notepad ready to take notes. <3

anon. I love you so much. thank you for enabling my insanity. this is gonna be a long, unhinged post

Okay, here we go. My darling anon, I had to HUNT in my blog archive to find this post, but here is my basic rundown of Rammstein itself as a band (<-linked). So come back here after reading that post if you really don't know anything about the band bc this def won't make any sense. In THIS post I'd love to discuss WHY I'm so obsessed R+ and all the things that I personally love about them. I will format it in bullet points to spare myself and everyone's sanity:

I feel like the most obvious point should be the first; I love their music! I grew up on industrial and synth, so introducing metal to that mix is like a heavenly mashup. The heavy guitar, the synth keyboard, the gorgeous vocals and deep (often complicated) lyrics??? I would insert the music directly into my chest cavity if I could and that sounds really fucking weird but that's where I feel like it should live 🧍🏻‍♀️

I have daddy issues point blank, that much is obvious from my blog LMAOOO so ofc latching onto gruff middle aged men is a fundamental human need for me at this point

The style and uniqueness of the band is incredible. Who else do you know that lights everything on fire while looking like they just walked off a movie set? Their outfits are so fucking awesome. Like every time I see a new fit I eat that shit up and stare at pics for hours on end because they're so intricate and cool and kinda kinky?? I WISH I could be their fashion designer like jfc. Also their makeup/ face paint is always killer. I need to kiss their stylists fr !!! The 90's-y2k looks are some of my favs

the history of the band is also very interesting. a bunch of weird dudes from East Germany end up becoming pals and form a band and rise to stardom while soldiering through the trials and tribulations such fame throws their way? love an underdog story. I highly recommend watching the documentary Rammstein in Amerika, it gives a lot of insight into the band's origins and history up through 2015

Some of the shit they pull is so freaky and weird that its camp at this point. The dick mold dildos? camp. The fact that they need licenses to use all their pyrotechnics? camp. Being arrested for public indecency? camp.

I am incredibly, overwhelmingly, unhingedly down bad for Till, Richard, and Paul (and also Schneider to an extent but not as much). I would allow for unspeakable things to be done to me if given even the slightest opportunity if you know what I'm saying

PAUL'S HAIR !!!! He is so silly goofy but I fucking LOVE Paul's stupid little haircuts. like yass go off with your little monk bowl cuts I'm eating it up I'm putting you in my pocket

(the photo of his red hair isn't even showing the back where he LITERALLY shaved it like the fuckin monk tonsure)

everyone is so fucking queer. like. deadass. Paul and Richard regularly kissing on stage is so precious ???? they're just two besties being besties kissing n shit. The band also supports the lgbtq+ community and are outspokenly against bigotry which is always a win. A lot of people have accused them of being bigots themselves and they're like ummm haha no get fucked (cue "Links 2 3 4")

Richard is a perfect little baby angel and I would die for him. I love his spiky hair. I love his nail polish; I paint my nails like him. He is so cute. I love the way he speaks, in German and in English. I also LOVE his band Emigrate, esp the most recent album. He's so awesome 😭 that being said I wish he wouldn't smoke like a chimney because I dread hearing the news one day that he has cancer but ofc I can't do anything about that in the slightest

I mean. do I need to make a bullet point dedicated to Till being built like a fucking brick house?? because I think I do. He is soooo,,, AUAUGHHHHH !!!! Like, the guy is 60 and still looks that incredibly built ?!!!!! homeboy was an olympic swimmer he can swim in my p *gets shot*

Till has a precious smile 🥺 I love his fucked up teeth. he's such a sweetie fr, a big scary looking teddy bear. I need him fr

Flake in his entirety is just so silly goofy. Like homeboy looks like just Some Dude.. he's so normal (he also looks like my step grandfather only tall and skinny, which is very strange...). But then he pulls shit like whacking Till with a keyboard or getting fake fucked on stage. Homeboy also apparently just up and ditched everyone in America and went home after 9/11 because he was so freaked, which in itself isn't funny but imagining him just fucking leaving is a little bit...

Darling little (not so little...) Doom Schneider has an incredibly gorgeous side profile. And I love the pornstache he occasionally sports. He's also another one who is just like. A Normal Guy in my head. He is also very very pretty and very well spoken. I loved listening to him talk during the Rammstein in Amerika documentary

I also think Ollie is also just a Dude,, tho admittedly I don't really even think about him much because he is so normal and not unhinged that he kinda just blends into the background most times. He is 6'7 tho so that is fucking insane

Anyway yep that's all for now I'll stop torturing everyone with my depraved insanity 👍🏻 THANK YOU AGAIN ANON for indulging me for a moment

[quaranmine]

loved hearing about you talking urself thru ideas while driving! i do the same esp during traffic life series releases i’m just rotating them in my mind for an hour everyday in the car haha

how about 28?

OMG! yes there's literally nothing like talking yourself through ideas while driving. I used to have to drive like 6-7 hours total a week back and forth between college and I would always use that time to come up with stuff. That was while Last Life was happening, so I spent half of those drives probably just theorizing about what would happen next. I also came up with like half or more of my Jimmy/Listener headcanons and the Watcher stuff from HTBAHB during those drives. I love that I'm not the only one slfjsdlfks

i literally just get into my car these days for a long drive and my brain is just like "oh time to pick a topic to rotate for the next hour!"

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Like average-average? Impossible to tell since there are many days I do not write. But whenever I do a challenge I get a sense of how many words I'm capable doing in a day. During my not-really-nanowrimo-challenge in November I averaged 712 words a day!

The best indicator is probably my original writing challenge from last year, where I sat myself down and was like "you're gonna publicly track how many words you write every day until you finish this fic." It took 71 days, and I averaged 548 words a day. This is maybe the best indicator because I did skip days which lowered the average by introducing 0 into the number set. So when attempting to write every day or as often as possible I average 500-700 words.

As for writing in one session, it's extremely rare I write more than 3000 words. A Serious Writing Session is most likely to result in 1000-2000 words.