#and eddie cant risk being one of the people who asks too much

[feral-peacock]

I TAKE IT ALL BACK

BUCK NEEDS TO CHOOSE EDDIE

AND EDDIE NEEDS TO BE CHOSEN BY BUCK

I cannot believe they've done a full 180 on me.

[ronancebyler]

Ronance headcanons?

oh my goodness of course i do hehehehe (if you cant tell I love them)

i am ignoring the canon plot and using the bits that are convenient to me because I do what I want

Before Robin realized she liked Nancy, she truly didn't understand the deep level of fury she felt against Jonathan. It made no sense because they were friends and she had so much fun with him! Except whenever him and Nancy were together suddenly she had the urge to rip her hair out

Nancy figured her feelings out before Robin did. I know this is controversial and I do agree Robin fell first Nancy fell harder. However, I think the fear of falling for someone who she loves and cares for very much who if Nancy finds out Robin could lose her both from being a lesbian and for being in love with her, just manifests in denial. This is also compounded by the fact that she's convinced she likes Vickie who conveniently is out of reach and (presumed) straight, so if Vickie wasn't into her she wouldn't be risking as much since she's not planning to confess in the first place

Nancy on the other hand very quickly figured it out. After losing Barb, her fear manifested less in denial and more as an overdrive of all her emotions because if she doesn't figure it out quickly she might lose Robin before she could even say a word, so the moment she falls she figured it out then and there. She doesn't want another situation where she didn't tell a person she loves how much they mean to her

that night she had a panic attack that was BRUTAL like she sobbed for hours realizing she's probably going to have to choose between being true to herself and a relationship with her parents. she already knew she liked girls, she figured it out after barb's death, but liking someone new felt so tangible. robin heard her crying and didn't ask, just sat with her for the rest of the night tracing her thumb in circles on her palm

A fluffier one: Nancy plans to confess but Robin does it before she does on accident. Like she's just talking about journalism and how much she enjoys investigative journalism and Robin is just like "I'm in love with you." My assumption is that Robin had already come out to her beforehand but she was just horrified. Nancy was shocked but then was like "you beat me to it <3"

Nancy had not come out to Robin yet, she was planning to do it with her confession, and she had already talked to Eddie (platonic soulmates edancy lover till I die) and talked to Steve so she was prepared but Robin was just FLABBERGASTED

this girl has the most godawful gaydar known to mankind so despite nancy staring at her with heart eyes on a daily basis she was in shock

hAND KISSES I WILL NOT STOP WITH THE NANCY GIVING HAND KISSES HC

wrist kisses too her favorite thing to do is hold robin's fingers or pulse against her lips and just feel her warmth

robin is really warm, unreasonably so, and nancy is really cold

they both love shoving their noses into each others neck and just breathing in each others smells

robin loves rubbing the fact that she's dating nancy fucking wheeler into people's faces

"you're better at me then this???? well I pulled nancy wheeler stevie!! and I actually kept her unlike you so shut up"

her and eddie are constantly at war at who her favorite person is

"you already have stevie this is MY emotional support comphet fruit"

robin hangs over her shoulders while she writes and just reads her words

there was a solid bit of time that robin thought eddie and nancy were together. she accidentally asked them and triggered the longest giggle battle she has ever seen seen

bisexual nancy or lesbian nancy, she's filled with so much comphet

fully convinced that romantic feelings for guys and platonic feelings for girls felt the same

sometimes she feels guilty and feels like she's 'replacing' barb but the feeling lessens by the day

robin gets anxiety attacks every once in a while and nancy knowing exactly what to do when it happens really calms her down. like it reminds her that the person she loves is the most capable ever

robin loves nuzzling herself into nancy's stomach because cold and nice

poor, poor steve. the amount of rants he's heard from both sides

"nancy is so amazing and cool!" "robin is so pretty when she talks <3"

Mostly Robin for obvious reasons but jfc it's concerning at this point

that poor man needs to start charging per hour at this point

I will never shut up if I keep going so I'll cut it off right here.

[infinite-orangepeel]

it's rotten work (loving a heart like mine) pt. 5 excerpt

feel free to make my day and check out the rest of the fic/this chapter on ao3 here. love youuuuu <3

tw: feminization, slapping, emotional pain but it's hurt/comfort and the fic is angst with a happy ending

“Do it again,” Steve knows how crazy he sounds–doesn’t care, “Harder this time.”

At that, Eddie smothers him in a chafing kiss, tugs his head back by the hair, and moans deeply into his neck–vibrations that make Steve whine with want. 

“Call me Daddy from here on out or you don’t get my cock. If you’re gonna act like a horny painslut, I’m gonna treat you like one,” Eddie threatens and snaps the elastic of Steve’s underwear against his waist making him hiss, “Are you afraid of me, kitten? Of what I might do to you?” 

“No,” Steve’s cheek stings as he grins to say it, eyes squeezed shut in compliance, “because you’d never really hurt me. Not in any way I didn’t ask for, not in any way I didn’t deserve.”

“For fuck’s sake–you don’t deserve pain, baby,” Eddie slaps him again on the opposite cheek, eliciting a whiny yelp from Steve, “You deserve patience. You deserve kindness. You deserve love.” 

“It scares you though, doesn’t it? I scare you,” he counters, fucking himself against Eddie’s thigh–somewhat unnerved when he doesn’t find himself held back from friction. Eddie’s letting him take what he wants, adding his hands to help him cant into the seam of his boxers,“You’re afraid of me. You’re afraid of how I make you feel,” his breaths come shakily as he debates the risks associated with pushing Eddie too far, “You’re afraid of how far I’ll go to prove I’m yours.”

“I’m afraid of myself,” Eddie confesses, jutting his knee up between Steve’s thighs and rubbing below the swell of his balls in smooth, tormenting circles, “I want too much. I want to own you, claim you, wrap you around my finger so tightly that no one else would even dare think about calling you theirs. People aren’t supposed to want each other like that, Steve. It’s not healthy. I don’t even know if it’s human.” 

“You’re punishing yourself,” he clumsily finds Eddie’s lips and presses two fingers to them to silence him, “but you don’t have to. You can have everything you want if you’ll just let me give it to you.” 

“Baby,” Eddie grabs his wrist, “You don’t–”

“Color?” Steve asks, slowing the thrust of his hips to a stop and crossing his arms over his naked chest defiantly 

“You don’t have to color check me, Steve. I’m the dom–”

“Color,” he tips his chin up high and puffs out the fullest part of his chest, “or we don’t play.” 

He’s being a cocky asshole. 

He’s being Steve from High School. 

He’s being Steve who always gets the girl, always makes the game-winning shot, always gets to wear the crown. 

“The stoplight system is to keep you safe, not the other way around,” Eddie drops his knee so they’re no longer touching. Poised to stand off like they’re starring in the opening scene of an old western movie. 

“I’m going to open my eyes on the count of three. I’m going to look at you. I’m going to get in the shower and you’re going to follow me. Then, I’m going to get on my knees and fucking worship you and tell you how beautiful you are and you’re not going to stop me. And once I’m done, you’re going to fuck me until I cry,” Steve hears Eddie choke back something akin to tears, “So for the last time, color?” 

“Green, you switchy little shit,” Eddie laughs brokenly and buries his salt covered face into Steve’s messy hair–mirroring him from earlier, “God, I suck as a dom. First day on the job and you’re already taking control of me. Please don’t put this on my permanent record, I’m begging you.”

Steve reverently wraps his arms around Eddie’s sulking body and kisses every last part of him that his lips can reach without undoing their embrace. Stamping his devotion into Eddie’s shoulders, his biceps, his eyelashes, his teeth. Gluing him back together bit by bit; as is their way. Assbackwards, delusional, buggy, and strange. 

“You’ll have plenty of opportunities to prove yourself in a minute,” Steve jokes cautiously and reaches down to push Eddie’s boxers to the floor, along with his own–pools of cotton at their feet,“I’m going to start counting. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just me.”

I hope he can’t tell I’m making this up as I go. 

Eddie tightens his hold on Steve; pulling him so close it’s a mystery that their atoms don’t fuse. 

“One.” 

He’s just close enough to the shower to reach in and turn the nob all the way on; hoping it won’t freeze them to death but who knows with the age and general condition of Hopper’s cabin. 

“Two.” 

Then again, it wouldn’t be such a bad way to go–naked in Eddie’s arms, holding the only man he’s ever loved. There are surely worse fates. 

“Three.”

Steve touches before he sees; runs a clinical autopsy on Eddie’s fears by way of fine fingers. With surgical precision—he frames his lover’s neck, applies gauze made of sweet nothings, and hollows himself out to make space for what once was. 

“Hideous,” the boy with the hummingbird heart cries salt and hate—cacophony of despair, “I know I am.” 

“Beautiful,” the boy with the stained-glass soul replies too earnestly—his fatal flaw rushing to the surface, “Even more than before. I can see you, all of you. Everything,” he cups his face and licks up his tears, “The best nights—my favorite nights—happen when there’s nothing in the way to block the full moon. When the light swallows up the darkness and I don’t have to feel so alone anymore,” he kisses the few knicks on Eddie’s scalp and smooths a tentative hand over his shortened hair, “You have no idea how many times that’s been the thing that saves me.” 

Eddie leans back, water trickling into the basin of the tub beside him, and reveals the totality of his body to Steve—broad daylight, mid-morning, two drops of blood drying on his neck where mistakes have been made, coffee on his breath, thicket of curls remaining on his pelvis, vicious scars decorating his torso, fine line of blackened hair punctuating his navel—magnum opus of celestial creation. Space dust and vulgar ink and full lips. 

Heaven sent or something greater. Beatific when he smiles through bloodshot eyes and heavy tears to constrict Steve’s throat in his hands like the snake of Eden. Giving him exactly what he wants—a thank you, an apology, a means of forgiveness. 

“But remember this,” Eddie squeezes and Steve feels t.v. static in his veins, “The moon has no light of its own without the sun,” he kisses the tops of Steve’s eyelids in praise of all that they’ve done. 

[r-is-typing]

prompt list

r is typing…

i recently decided to add a list of prompts, hoping to draw in more requests, as well as new readers!

credit for the list can be found at this link here.

below you can find all of the prompts i am currently writing!

when requesting prompts, please name the character you’d like and the prompt number, or just the prompt quote.

ex: fluff 20 w/eddie, angst 5 with steve

Angst/Emotional:

“All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me.”

“When did you stop loving me?”

“Just please open your eyes.”

“Wake up. You have to wake up. Please. For me.”

“Just please, don’t leave me.”

“When was the last time you said you loved me, and meant it?”

“Why does everyone always leave?”

“It hurts so much. Why does it hurt so much? I just want it to stop.”

“Forget it. Just like you forget everything else.”

“I never ask for help because I’m not sure I know how.”

“It’s alright to feel broken every once and a while. And it’s alright to take time to heal.”

“I feel like I’m falling apart.”

“What is it about me that isn’t good enough?”

“I wish I was brave.”

“Whats the point in trying if only one of us is willing to?”

“You almost died and you’re making jokes?”

“I’m scared.”

“I don’t need you to tell me who I am!”

“I don’t miss you. I miss us.”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“I can’t lose you.” “You already did.”

“Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” “Like you still love me.”

“Will you even miss me at all?”

“You weren’t there…why weren’t you there? I needed you! I needed you! And you weren’t there!”

“I would give up everything for the chance to hear your laugh again. To see you smile. To see you happy.“

“If I never see you again, just know that I love you so, so much.”

“All I wanted was a happy ending.”

"Whatever you do, don’t let go.”

“You don’t have to hide your tears from me.”

“What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

“You said we’d be together forever, but I guess forever really isn’t that long.”

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“You left without saying goodbye.”

“For once in your life, do what you want! Be selfish!”

“Being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain.”

“Whatever you do, do not turn around.”

“No matter what they made you think, you are worth saving. You are worth loving.”

“You said you wouldn’t leave, and then you did.”

“I’m a fool for believing you meant what you said.”

“For what it’s worth, I never gave up on you.”

“You are not your past.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“This is the third time you’ve broken a promise to me, I’m starting to think you are doing it on purpose.”

“Whatever you do, do not close your eyes.”

“I know you’re tired, but you have to stay awake.”

“I’ll come back for you, I promise.”

“You would risk letting all those people die for one person? Why?” “Because it’s not just one person…it’s you.”

“I’m just tired of being tired.”

“Whatever you do, do not make a sound.”

“I always said I’d die for you.” “I didn’t think you meant literally.”

Fluff/Romantic:

“I just cant see myself ever living without you.”

“If there was ever anybody meant for me, it’s you.”

“The closest thing to love at first sight I’ve ever experienced happened when I first laid eyes on you.”

“I didn’t believe in soulmates until I met you.”

“Did you just tell the person I was gonna go out with that we’re dating?”

“You owe me a kiss.”

“Go with me?” “Only if you hold my hand.”

“I’d feel much better if you’d let me walk you home.”

“If I asked you to stay, would you?”

“You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe.”

“I’ve never felt this way before, and truthfully it scares me. But, the idea of never trying scares me even more.”

“You’re telling me you believe in love at first sight?” “I’m starting too.”

“I promised to love you forever, and that is a promise I intend to keep.”

“Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

“You give me a reason to be better, to do better.”

"All I’ve ever wanted was a place to belong. Somewhere I could call home. And you gave me that. Because you are my home.”

“They don’t compare to you. No one does.”

“I thought I had the worst luck, until I met you.”

“No matter how much time we’ve spent apart, I never stopped loving you.”

“I could see the worst parts of you and still think you are the most beautiful person I’ve met.”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“You brought me breakfast?” “Well you said you always forget to eat before you go to work, so I thought I’d make sure you ate something.”

“Everything feels right when you are with me.”

“I don’t care what others say, I want to be with you and that’s all that matters to me.”

“You bought me flowers?” “Yeah, well I noticed you’d seemed kinda down, so I wanted to cheer you up.”

“I’ll be damned if anyone makes you feel like you aren’t worthy of being loved.”

“I wasn’t sure what love really felt like until I met you.”

“You owe me.” “I owe you $20 not a day of pretending to be your boy/girl-friend to get your parents off you’re back.”

“I can braid your hair for you- I mean, only if you want.”

“Maybe if you stopped staring at them and actually talked to them, you might have a chance.”

“You said you wouldn’t fall in love with me.” “I lied.”

“I want you. All of you, and not just halfheartedly, but wholly. And maybe that’s selfish, but I don’t care.”

“Can you stay? Just for tonight, please. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.” “'l’ll stay for as long as you need.”

“You are my family.”

“We’ve been by each other’s sides for years, you think I’m gonna leave now?”

“Take my jacket, I don’t want you catching a cold.”

“I’d wait a thousand lifetimes for you, because you are worth waiting for. So when you are ready. I’ll be right here.”

“I will never stop fighting for you. I will never stop protecting you.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. No matter how hard I try, you’re always on my mind”

“Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I don’t want you to die for me, I want you to live for me.”

“I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this.”

“How long have you had this planned?” “Since the moment I fell in love with you.”

“You came all the way here for me?”

“Why are you staring at me?” “Because I think you’re beautiful.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” “I think I’m okay with that.”

“What are you doing here?” “I wanted to see if you were okay.”

“The world gets a little brighter when your around.”

“They say we wont last.” “Then lets prove them wrong.”

Miscellaneous:

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone screw something up that fast before.”

“I’ve never told you that before.”

“You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”

“At least it couldn’t get any worse.” “I really wish you hadn’t said that.”

“I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.”

“I’m telling you, I’m haunted.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Wake me up when it’s over.”

“Next problem… we might die.“

"Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you”

“I think… everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves.”

“At least I kept my promise.”

“I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you.”

“…Did you just sniff me?”

“I hope you find it someday.” “Find what?” “Whatever it is you’re looking for.”

“Of course I noticed, I notice everything about you.”

“Are you alright?” “Yeah, why?” “You look mad.” “That’s just my face…”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“You don’t actually have to like me, you just need to pretend you do.”

“Can someone explain to me, in not so many words, why they are here?”

“I don’t think I’m alone in here.”

“You’re bleeding.” “No shit.”

“For the most part, I am, in fact, an idiot. But I fully admit to it, which should count for something.”

“Stop grumbling and just tell me where your medicine cabinet is.”

“Close your eyes and hold out your hand.”

“I hate that I let you convince me to do this.”

“We really need to stop meeting like this. "Then stop breaking into my house!”

“Why are you creeping outside my bedroom window?!” “I thought it would be romantic if I climbed up here.” “You gave me a heart-attack!”

“What are you doing here?” “I got locked out of my house.” “Again?”

“Run.”

“I can’t stand you!” “Then sit down.”

“Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise.” “I hope the surprise involves food.”

“You wont regret it!” “Already am.”

“I like being wanted.” “You should NOT like be wanted by the police!”

“I am nothing if not consistent.” “Yeah, a consistent pain in my ass.”

“What happened?” “Do you want the long version or the short version?” “Uh, short?” “I made a mistake.” “Okay, long version.” “I made a very very big mistake.”

“Do you take constructive criticism?” “Not without crying.”

“Are we all on the same page?” “Yes. Just of different books.”

“Why did you break up with them?” My dog didn’t like them, and that is never a good sign.“

"I’m sorry were you talking to me? I tend to zone out whenever you stark speaking.”

“What happened to your hand?” “I hit my hand on something.” “On what?” “Your ex’s face.”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’ve been thinking-” “Uh-oh”

when requesting prompts, please name the character you’d like and the prompt number, or just the prompt quote.

thank you <3

r is signing off…

[aceeddiekaspbrak]

The gang goes to disneyland

Bill, Bev, and Richie have gone before the return to Derry.

Bill, is a hat collector, but in his defense he doesn’t go Too Often and only gets one set per trip so it’s fine. he has some that are sewed but not all with ‘bill’ some are billy or will yknow. he and Audra have a set of the bride/groom ears with their names on it. he’s not the biggest fan in general but it’s good fun. He liked classic Innovations building and Tom Sawyers Island (the storytelling immersion!). He cried when he went on the train the first time and didn’t know why, just a quiet few tears–later it occurs to him that it was probably because he knew, some where in his head, how much georgie would’ve loved that damn train. I dont think he would ever go on the storybook boats for similar reasons.

Bev goes and enjoys the parades, shows, and cast member costumes. she likes to see how it’s all set up, and compare the costumes to how she might’ve done them separately. she dresses up real nice for Disney but not in a dapper day kinda way just casually. if she had kids who wre into it, she might bound with them. I could see her being a big fan of those keys they’re making now for characters/lands/rides. Her favorite ride is Matterhorn, left side of the mountain.

Richie has gone the most in comparison to any of them, being a So Cal resident. He might pin trade, but he’s a slut for the popcorn buckets he has too many and he complains every time about that but he still get them when he goes. probably has an annual pass so he can get special pins and special popcorn buckets. when he was Sandy they would do a lot of young lovedumb things to see how much they could get away with before getting kicked out (surprisingly a lot, they might have never actually been kicked out). he thinks about that a lot when he has to quietly hold Steves hand when they’re on small world, and gives him a quick peck of a kiss behind the trees during the fireworks (Steve rolls his eyes, because he’s so ready to fight anyone that’ll give them shit in Disneyland of all places, but he gets where Richies coming from and respects that a lot). Richie also eats the plants in Tomorrowland regularly when waiting or line or he wants some Mint for his drink, nbd. His favorite ride is probably changing frequently, he enjoys a nice quiet train ride, Indiana Jones is cool and decorated so cool and also harrison ford,… probably a big space mountain guy too. His favorite ride in both parks is Guardians though.

Ben goes now and then, has probably done one of their runs. I dont see him as a big ride or character guy, but he likes the history of the park, knows some fun facts, like the immersion more than anything. Also was a big fan of classic innovations and the Home of the future stuff. but over all, hes not gonna go a lot to just ol’ Disneyland, has probably been to more international ones (so i cant really speak on that!)

they all hate Pirates of the Caribbean and don’t know why. It’s like it terrifies them, deep down inside, but for no reason they know. Richie throws up in the water the first time he’s on it and he gets escorted off the ride and asked how much he’s been drinking. Bev and Bill cry, and have to try and explain to the partners why without even knowing. Audra never has Bill go on it again but it’s Toms favorite so if they go Bev just try’s to shut her eyes and get thru with it. The dark dank sewer like walls and water, even if it lacks the smell-just strong chlorine- there’s something about it.

>sidebar, Bill and Bev probably go to Disney World as much or more than Disneyland (but I’ve never been there so I can’t chip in on that), Richie is more of a Disneyland guy (bc close) but has been and enjoys it too. Eddie has taken Myra to Disney World, and hated it bc theme parks are disgusting but enjoyed some rides and that Myra for a time enjoyed it, but she also fussed over him a lot. Stanley Does Not Support Walt Disney or His Damn Mouse, but he and Patty have gone to Disney World as the typical young couple thing and it was... fine. They had fun but again, theme parks are gross. The next time they go, some time after they are married, why go dressed up (dapper day?) so Stanley has gloves and feels a little better about the germs, but it hurts a bit to see all the kids and their families, both thinking about when they will be able to bring their little ones.

Mike, Eddie, and Stan never went to Disneyland pre return to Derry.

After defeating IT, the losers take a group trip. Bev, Bill, and Richie want to see how they feel about Pirates now, but keep Mike off because regardless of pennywise, it’s not a good ride for him. So he gets those nice seasonal beignets and a mint julep and watches the train and the people go by as he waits with Ben, who doesnt want to risk it. The food and the people watching are probably some of his favorite things there. (Richie still throws up in the water, but it’s better). Mikes favorite ride…. Im gonna go the new Smugglers Run ride. Its immersive and also so many buttons and they get to squad up.

>bonus: to make a point Eddie and Stan insist they take mike to Disney World too. It’s Florida, it’s bigger, and is a little west coast v east coast Losers Club competition. Stan’s a little upset they’re giving so much to The Mouse but he has a point to make. Mike is probably a bigger fan of Disney World.

[letsdiscoverkitty]

Do you remember your dreams? What’s one you’ve had this week? Do you think dreams mean anything?

I would say maybe 50/50 I but after a few days they seem to flitter. I think I remember last nights actually (or it might be the night befores?) It’s a bit odd/really bloody random and when I was writing this I actually remembered so much, which is kind of freaking me out....(I’ll put it under a read more)I dream a lot about “running away” from things/beasts/places and there is always a lot of chopping and changing between scenes. I would like to think they mean something but I don’t think you should ever read too much into a dream (as my example below will show). I think a lot of our dreams come from things that we may have encountered in the day on a surface level memory basis - so things that haven’t gone deeper into our memory and so they all kind of join together at night and play out? Idk though. Because sometimes you can have the weirdest of dreams and not have a clue where they came from. 

I used to have reoccurring nightmares when I was little that would always be the same thing...always. okay so if you have ever seen the original BBC lion the witch and the wardrobe you will know what I mean when I saw “the standing up wolves” that were the white witches? Basically men dressed in these costumes. Anyway these “standing up wolves” were the things of my childhood nightmares. They used to kidnap me or my mum or people I knew and I always remember being terrified and trying to save people or trying to escape dungeons/prisons and these wolves would be chasing me in both places that I did not know but my home was a reoccurring scene - especially the garden. As you can see they left a BIG impression on me and happened a lot when I was growing up. Okay I will stop rambling now as this has gone on a lot. Enjoy the weird dream below :)

(DREAM) basically I remember my old PE teacher being pregnant (she was a teacher I really admired at school) and she was a mentor in this weird ‘game’ thing that we had to work through in teams (kind of like a zelda dungeon? killing enemies and getting to the heart of the dungeon/tower - this one was a tower and we had to work up the levels defeating monsters...) and we were being ‘tailed’ by another team who were trying to find the secret entrance that we had found (the team included Draco Malfoy?), anyway we were ahead of them and managed to get to the top of the tower first and defeated all the monsters and then defeated them? (it turned into some weird shoot out with bows and arrows) and we had won (we were teams of 3) so we headed back down the tower but then I realised that I had lost/forgotten one of my shoes (it was black btw) at the top of the tower so me and my friend had to go back up through a secret passage way and all the monsters had re-spawned so we had to kill them all again and we nearly died but our other team mate cam and helped out as he realised what had happened, we just managed to defeat them and made our way back down. We bumped into a man who was clearing the way for the next teams (weirdly the old science tech from school). Anyway, then I remember coming home and my PE teacher coming with me and we heated up some food and had baked beans. Then weirdly I had a letter telling me that for my audition for the school play I had to play the part of Grindelwald from this 1 page script (it had three parts; newt, Grindelwald, and a knight - everyone who wanted to be in the play had one of these roles given to them to help the directors choose roles - my lines were near the end, newts were first and then Gindelwald was disguised as a knight/guard amongst them all and tricked them and was then meant to show himself). Anyway it was really odd because she was like “hang on one moment....do you like taking risks?” and I was like “if it will help me then yes” and she disappeared and next moment there is this door opening and we are outside and she comes out is says “Eddie Redmayne is my nephew and he has been staying with me and he said he would go through the script with you and tell you all about the context and how the scene plays out” so then Eddie Redmayne appears and I am SO STAR STRUCK and in love with him. He sits with me and we go through the script and I keep starring into his eyes and he is so beautiful. Then we go for a walk and he is really nice and genuine. Soon word got out about him helping me with the script and everyone wants to meet him but he refuses to go through the script properly with anyone else, so I end up falling head over heels. Then later when he is gone I ask my teacher how old he is and she tells me (I cant remember I think she said a few years older). And I remember a scene being played out from the new Fantastic Beasts film...very very odd.

[beepbeepprichieee]

You’re More Then Enough

Requested by @be-more-boyf-riends slight trigger warning: Just a mention of suicide nothing graphic, just a comment. Sorry this took so long and sorry it’s so short and just overall god awful. I wrote this so quick so I’m so sorry. Feel free to leave some feedback :) it really helps alot with motivation and inspiration. And it doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative feedback anything helps. :) Thank you AND ENJOY Summary: Richie gets kicked out of his house and feels awful and so so worthless. He goes to Eddie’s house and Eddie is just so helpful and supportive!! and just a wonderful loving boyfriend?!?!?

Richie didn’t know how to deal with his emotions. This wasn’t at all unusual but this time was different.  Everything bad happened in one day. Just the span of 12 fucking hours. The main thing was that his parents decided he wasn’t worth their time anymore and kicked him out of the house. This event got him thinking, maybe he wasn’t worth it to anyone. Why would anyone want him? Maybe he just wasn’t good enough. Maybe nobody deserved to have to deal with the burden that is Richie Tozier. His parents didn’t want him so why would anyone else? Why would Eddie? God Eddie… Normally Richie would just go straight to him when he felt as awful as he did, but he was rethinking it. Eddie shouldn’t have to deal with his stupid shit. Eddie didn’t deserve any of that stress. 

Richie sat with his head and hands rested against the steering wheel of his truck. He was parked outside of Eddie’s house. The house, dark and silent, looked almost abandoned. It just looked so…cold. Richie was just planning to sleep in his truck in a parking lot or something. He could just drive all night, find some place new where no one knew who he was. He wouldn’t be anyones problem if he was far away from Derry. Richie paused his thoughts as he reached in his console for his package of Winston’s and lucky blue lighter. He shakily pulled a cigarette out of the package and put it to his lips. Richie fumbled with the lighter for a second, probably running out of fluid, he thought, when he saw Eddie’s room light flick on in his peripheral vision. He lit the cigarette still hanging between his so lips, not taking his eyes off Eddie’s newly lit bedroom window. He drew in a shallow breath. 

I couldn’t bother Eddie with this. Richie mind wouldn’t stop running two thousand miles a minute. He doesn’t need me in his life. If I go up there he will just get annoyed, it’s too late. Honestly maybe I should just do everyone a favor and leave, just die. It would be so easy. He held back a few tears which he explained away by telling himself that it was the cigarette smoke getting in his eyes. Jesus. Maybe he would just go up there and tell Eddie he loved him and maybe apologize for being a fucking burden all the time. Before Richie could change his mind, he opened his door and threw the cigarette butt into the street as he did. Damn, finished that one quick. He started walking. He knew he needed Eddie. Just needed to see him for a second. Needed to see his face. He walked up to the tree growing up to Eddie’s window and began to climb. God Eddie really was a fucking real live panacea. Sometimes Richie felt that he really couldn’t live without him in his life.

The light glowed from the window as he rapped his knuckles softly against the glass. Richie could feel tears welling up in his eyes again. He wanted to make it stop but knew he couldn’t. He really didn’t want to cry in front of Eddie. A very tired and confused Eddie was now pulling the window up and letting Richie in. As soon as he was in the room, Richie collapsed on to Eddie.

“Richie! Are you okay?!” Eddie asked as he pulled back just enough to see Richie’s upset face. The tall boy opened his mouth to respond but he couldn’t. The only thing that left his lips was a strangled sob.  

“Hey, hey, hey…shhh…it’s okay- you’re okay. I’m right here. You’re safe right here with me.” Eddie cooed over and over again into Richie’s shoulder and neck and dark hair as he gently ran his fingers up and down his back. Richie continued to sob as the smaller boy held on to him like he might be taken away from him at any second. Eddie held him like this for a few minutes longer until Richie calmed down some. He moved himself and Richie slowly over to his bed and sat on the edge. Eddie didn’t once let go of Richie’s hand in this movement. 

“Hey talk to me, Rich. Tell me what’s wrong.” Eddie whispered to him with furrowed eyebrows, forming a very worried look on his face. Richie kept his head down as he spoke. 

“Eddie I’m so sorry.” He manage to choke out. “I’m sorry for coming here and making you deal with me and this shit. I’m sorry for not being good enough for you. I mean fuck, I’m not even good enough for my own parents. Jesus christ I just want to do everyone a fucking favor and go away. I don’t even have anywhere to sleep now. They fucking kicked me out Eddie! Who does that? They kept going on and on about how awful I was and how I am a horrible son and they never wanted me. Jesus fuck I’m so sorry Eddie… you don’t deserve this.” Richie some how managed to mumble all this out aside from a few sobs and hiccups, his hand still clutching Eddie’s. He moved his free hand up to cup Richie’s face. He held his beautiful face in his hand.

“Richard Tozier.” Eddie began, his eyes not moving off his face.

“You are so God damn perfect.” Eddie placed a small, soft is on his cheek.

“Your parents couldn’t be more wrong.” He whispered softly. Then kissed Richie’s other cheek, feeling a dampness on his lips from the tears there.

“You deserve so much more then you get in this stupid and unfair life.” Another kiss, this time on the tip of Richie’s nose.

“You make my life 100 times better then what it would be if you weren’t here with me like you are right now.” A forehead kiss.

“I cant live without you, or your stupid mom jokes, or your horrible impressions, or your silly shirts you always wear, or your crazy cute big glasses. I love you. If your parents can’t see that then they can’t even be people because it’s impossible for them not to see.” Eddie kissed his lips sweetly after he finished, his hand tracing circles on his shoulder blade. He pulled back and played down on his bed bringing Richie down with him. His head resting on Eddie’s chest.

“I fucking love you Eddie. I love you so much that it fills my heart up until it’s overflowing with love.” Richie said quietly into his chest.

“You can stay here you know.” Eddie said after a moment of silence.

“No, what would you tell your mother?” Rich looked up at his lovers face as he spoke.

“I’ll tell her that we have a big project to work on for chem or something.”

“Eddie it’s okay. I don’t want to risk you getting into any trouble.”

“I don’t fucking care. You are not sleeping in your truck that’s for damn sure.” Eddie said matter of factly. “Plus you’re safe here and that’s all that matters. Okay?” He gave Richie a kiss on the top of his head, inhaling the smell of him when he did. He could definitely tell he smoked a cigarette or two before coming here. Richie gave up arguing woth Eddie and decided he would save it for later. Eddie kept him in his arms until he felt Richie fall asleep. How could Richie ever in his life think that he wasn’t enough for him. That was purely impossible. He was so perfect. He was so much more then perfect. So much more than enough. Eddie was the one who so often felt that he wasn’t good enough for Richie. He felt like he was too boring or too annoying. Richie was eccentric and just so vibrant. When he walked into a room people couldn’t help but turn their heads to look at him. He had an electromagnetic field that pulled people to him automatically. Richie stirred on top of Eddie, interrupting his thoughts. He smiled softly down at the boy he loved.

Eddie just wanted him to be happy. He loved him so fucking much. He would do anything to keep him safe.

[mrsashketchum]

Unique questions: ALL OF THEM (Minus the one you already answered).

woooo let’s do this

thank u for asking!!

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

any of you guys honestly

meeting any of u followers would be super cool

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

(the book nearest to me is my sister’s book so it’s definitely a bit random)

“Grew regarding Major Hutter who would be the eyes and” – Quezon’s Sukiyaki (Ambeth R. Ocampo)

4) What do you think about most?

hmmmm anime, Sou, my personal art projects, the fact that i still have so much to do but i’m not doing any of them, what i’m having for dinner

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

definitely man, but they’re personal so i cannot disclose the info sorry o(´∀｀*)

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

err, i’m afraid of mascots and clowns, especially the ones used for like mcdonald’s or jollibee or something— basically anything that looks like they’re in a big enormous suit of a creature? it’s really weird i know but

if they ever get near me i would freak out and freeze on the spot

or if they tell me to dance with them i’d honestly die of fear

7) What’s your religion?

Christian ∩( ´∀` )∩

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Marianas Trench, if i had to pick only one :3

10) What was the last lie you told?

i did lie about something but i can’t tell anyone what it is because i forgot ;;

11) Do you believe in karma?

yes, especially instant karma heh

12) What does your URL mean?

mrsashketchum just means Mrs. Ash Ketchum, meaning i endowed on myself the responsibility of being this man’s wife

BUT it is not my responsibility right now, so i used the initials of the URL for my tumblr name, Mak, which i honestly would rather to be called here (i dont want to be known as Ash’s wife anymore haha;;; he’s more of my child now)

click keep reading if you would like to learn more!!

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Greatest weakness: procrastination and being unmotivatedGreatest strength: drawing, or anything to do with arts

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

Eddie Redmayne!!!!! I MEAN LOOK AT HIM??? 

15) How do you vent your anger?

I usually just either keep it in or let it out regretfully :/ i also sometimes talk to people about it but it’s only sometimes…

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

right now, i’m sure my past self would be very happy

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if… Sou and I were still together like old times?

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I believe in both of them. They’re out there. (just not the vengeful attacking kinds of ghosts? and the aliens aren’t too nasty-looking imho)

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I stuck both out and i still touched air

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing :3

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

I can’t think of somewhere that I consider the “worst”. It’s just the atmosphere and situation that makes a place bad, but right now, there’s nothing that bad

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

sou (i still cannot believe he’s still part of my answers���)

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

i’m not going to think more about this so i’m just gonna leave this unanswered else i’d have to wrack my brain for why we’re alive

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do drive, I’m learning, and I almost crashed. 

27) What was the last movie you saw?

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2! Awesome effects tbh

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I haven’t technically had a really bad injury, so none

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

i dont want to think about this o_o

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yeah, but only for a second, or if the grudges are really bad, then the most I can do (if they haven’t apologized yet) is a week, in general

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?

Bitter Sweet Love by Michael Faudet (i’m planning to give this away, because, despite its wonderful writing, some of the content isn’t something i want to keep on my shelf)

34) Love or lust?

L♡ve

35) In a relationship?

i wish;;

36) How many relationships have you had?

eh, i think just 2.

38) Where is your best friend?

in his house? lol?

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

asleep >_>

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

hell yeah? but i’d be irritated by myself in no time ;;

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

heck forget my boss and forget my job i’d risk my life for that dog

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I would of course tell only the people I cared aboutb) I would get to those artworks and finally give some to my close friends (especially the ones that I owed an artwork to), and I would say parting words to my family and close friends.c) Of course, but i don’t think I would regret anything at that point

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust, loyalty, patience, understanding, and of course, love.

45) How can I win your heart?

sorry i cant disclose that information as my heart is already with someone ;_;

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

It depends on what kind of “creative work” you’re going for

For me, I don’t really want to be insane exactly just for the sake of creativity lol

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

This is such a hard question?

I guess the fact that i’m still drawing? Like i made the decision to not give up on it and I’m glad I’m still drawing until today

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

please let me have that written on mine

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

I love any color in pastel !!!

one of my favorite palettes:

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

why just explode one? donald trump & mike pence?

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

this one o_o

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

that one heartbreaking scene in my life

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

none please i want to sleep alone

59) Ever been on a plane?

Yes!!

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

omg i dont have a list sorry ;;;;

i dont necessarily find a lot of celebrities “hot”

thank you for asking !!! …all of the questions haha;; hope u have a nice day!

[survivornavarino]

Episode #9: I’m A Fighter -Jake

*loud screeching noise* AHHHHHHHHHH omfg i cant believe we just did that #beam 4 life ok so like i feel horrible because i love drew but he was trying to make an alliance and it didnt include me and i had to take him out before it was too late because while it wouldnt be me this vote it probably would next time so like sorry drew i love u im sure this doesnt help my case for like why u should b my friend but like i rlly am sorry.  also i feel bad for lying to jake but it just wouldve gotten back to drew and i didnt want to risk that.  im hoping he doesnt hate me too much for blindsiding his ally but like again, they were trying to have a majority alliance that i wasnt a part of and i just didn't want to deal with it tbh.  maybe jake and i are just doomed to eternally be on separate sides in games idk (sad music plays) umm trixie idk we dont really talk we just kind of coexist UM HOLDUP JESUS CHRIST WE JUST FUCKING MERGED WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WIG ON PLUTO WHAT TO HECK ????? im off to plot heathers demise xoxo gossip beckka

Woot Woot its merge loves. Time to be a complete mess and be first merge boot. Hehehe

I MADE IT, MY SECOND ATHENA GAME AND I MADE IT TO MERGE AGAIN IM INCREDIBLEY HAPPY. Let’s hope I don’t get eighth place again, and if I’m gonna be honest I need Drew gone if I’m gonna win. He’s so fucking good at challenges. So eliminating him would mainly be out of fear.

Remember how I’m a dumbass? Me too ok so Drew was eliminated already.

Excuse me I am stupid and don't get letters are better as numbers... and also reversed. I would like an explanation plzz

words tried in number form and reversed so far that have not worked. Emily-Amanda-Abbey-Francie, Navarino, Survivor, Athena. Im gonna cry I cant find it yet.

Oh yeah tea, I ended up finding a secret advantage called the deja vote which means I can steal someone’s vote from a tribal and re-use it at a later tribal 

This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out. Okay so looking back at my last confessional, bitch I'm boo boo the fool. I seriously thought Eddie and Autumn were being honest with me because I trust(ed) them sooo much, but it turns out they were playing me and orchestrating a Drew blindside behind my back. So before I went out last night, EVERYONE told me they were voting Matt. Then two minutes before the vote, Eddie and Autumn message me like "JAKE! Are you here??? SOMETHING is happening" like bitch shut the fuck up something is not happening don't act like this shit just happened last minute. Then they say "Drew is getting voted out tonight!" So...I went to Drew and told him to play the idol if he had it. Because I didn't want Matt staying if I was voting for him. But Drew said he didn't have an idol, and Eddie found out that I told Drew and told Autumn. So after I got home I messaged the group chat with Eddie and Autumn and told them that I was upset by them lying to me bc I did trust them the most. Then Autumn decided to get ballsy and reply "I don't buy that at all since you told Drew to play his idol, you were more loyal to him than me." GIRL STFU yes the fuck I did tell Drew because you told me TWO MINS BEFORE TRIBAL - MEANING YOU KEPT THE VOTE HIDDEN FROM ME ALL DAY. DON'T SAY IM DISLOYAL WHEN YOU WERE THE BIGGEST MFING SNAKE THIS ROUND! ...Anyways. Autumn then tries to come for me by saying "So tell, what's with this alliance between you, Eddie, Drew, and Trixie." And this is when I got more mad. BC Drew proposed this alliance to me, but it was never made, hell I didn't even tell Trixie about it. And when I told Eddie about it I told him I think we should tell Autumn about the alliance (Since he wanted to as well) So it became clear that Autumn was spreading to rebecka and matt that I was in an actual alliance with them to get them all to turn on us. So um Autumn, I wanted to trust you and go far with you in this game, but you're dead to me in this game now and I want you GONE. Autumn has the most connections here. She has Eddie, Rebecka, Matt, Ben, and I've heard that she has Mitch as well. She is a huge threat and if I can find a way to take her out, I will. But right now I need to focus on surviving. After the vote, Trixie added me to a call with Julia. Julia told us all of the alliances she's in (and she's in a damn lot) and said she basically likes Trixie more so she's working with us. Umm okay that's cool. I hope she's being serious because my life in this game is in Julia's hands now. She has all these connections and I need to get her to gun for someone that isn't me, Trixie, or Shoib. I've decided that my ideal final 3 would be with Trixie and Shoib because I trust them the most now, we've been together since day one, and we're all fans. It would be perfect. Sooo yeah. I also talked to Heather and basically blamed Tyler for all the animosity between us. I am trying to repair relationships and hopefully push the target off my back because I am worried about being targeted for 12th. IDK WHAT ELSE TO DO! I am in SUCH a bad position right now and it's so annoying. At the start of this game I had a lot of allies and the two people who trusted me the most (Tyler and Drew) are gone. But I'm a FIGHTER. I will NOT give up! I was in the minority at merge in crossroads and turned it around and made it to FTC so I just have to keep pushing and hopefully I'll get the same results! Woo wig! This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out.

https://youtu.be/iUDlOxxgtz0 my face in the thumbnail for this video is so funny cause it's when i found out of another to do the idol search. Obviously we know it didn't work adhshjks

I am pumped for this merge, I feel like I am playing a really under the radar game and it will make people come to me and ask me to vote with them if the game does break down into two sides, which I think it will. I trust Julia and Trixie the most right now and Trixie has two FREAKING idols omg. I also trust Mitch and Autumn but they are my secondary alliance which I will fall back on if I lose Trixie and Julia

Ok so no one is really messaging me about the vote, which is scary. I don't want to be first merge boot. The only people who have spoke to me are Matt, which he is confused, and Jake, which says no one really spoke to him about the vote yet. I did hear that people thought Ben and I were close, which like we have voted together, but aren't to close. I know now that Trixie has an idol and someone found the merge idol so FUN. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FIRST MERGE BOOT.

Me starting a grassroots movement of Ben vs Heather cause I'm not aligned with either? Yep. Me forcing people to show their hands and make choices? Absolutely https://68.media.tumblr.com/41399c7dcc99b69388de05d609f7323c/tumblr_inline_o6ola1oDhw1sso1z7_500.gif Look none of these votes will be easy cause I like everyone and I'm aligned with almost everyone but it's Survivor I ain't scurd. I neeevvveerrr talk to Ben or Heather so I'm just gonna be a swing vote in the mess I created. Also feel free to give me the villain edit that's the one thing I haven't accomplished in Athena, besides winning or beating my placement. If not that's cool too I'll just continue to be my messy antihero self. Ok bye! Time to disappear and let the drama fester while I'm at work

You know what would be great, if more people would know who the vote is gonna be. Won't be surprised if that is me to be quite honest. Right now I hear Ben and if that is the only name I hear, I'll do it.

i never thought i'd say this but I WANNA HEX JULIA THE WITCH. okay not really bc i dont want her to read this and think im actually mad. but im wary of what i say to her now considering she told heather about my idol hehe

The votes for me cuz Beckka is bitter over another game. At least in that game I didn't isolate her. I'm prob just gonna cry in a corner.

This is a mess

this round has been a fucking mess and a half and im too busy rn trying to save my ass to make it all sophisticated i have a lot to say so if i stay ill explain everything later but basically autumn came to me today saying she wants to flip on ben so im trying to rally eddie trixie shoib julia and heather to get 7 on ben but apparently ben is throwing my name out bc he doesnt want to vote heathwr and immm fucking nervous idek if heather will wanna vote ben now if hes trying to save her what if she flips like this is bad help

The first merge vote is stressful as fuck cus there’s 12 people. I’m fine as long as it’s not me.

Don't know what's going on. Voting heather and hoping it works!!!!!

Good god am I glad I'm immune for this bullshit Let's start with merge. Woo merge! The idol system is announced. I actually make progress on the advantage hunt! Then I finish it. And someone already has it. GREAT So then I try the idol hunt and someone ALSO has it! GREATER. So now I have to worry about that shit. So I won immunity somehow because I guess preparing was a good idea since I blew through the second round. I won't be first merge boot in Athena woo!!! But now the vote is fucking crazy. I want to vote out Heather because, as sweet as she is, she's got a lot of ears listening for info for her and it's better to get someone like that out early before it's too late. But people don't want to because they're the ears! Big surprise. People are between Jake and Ben and Heather and honestly? I want to keep Ben around a little more. My plan for now is to not have one big alliance, but rather to be a part of small trio alliances so people can have my back without the worry of a huge alliance fracturing. I just have to keep the trio members safe. My planned trios are as follows: Ben, Mo, myself Shoib, Autumn, myself Rebecka, Julia, myself (WIP) That's 7 people who have my back in varying circumstances, as long as they're being truthful. I've also been alerted to a greater alliance of Matt, Ben, Julia, Mo, and Rebecka. Hopefully this trio plan will help me get in with those people more, and perhaps in the close future I can take out Matt and get rid of that variable.

i made merge!! its lit!! there hasnt been a lot going on so far. nobodys really reached out to me and ive been so busy so im just going with what rebecka wants, which is heather. i’m not sure voting heather is a good move for me, in fact i know its not, but unfortunatelt i dont have the time to make another move and im just tryin to survive

What is going on here on this day? This is a mess and i'm just on the train a long for the ride. I'm hearing Ben, Jake, and Heather, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's me tonight. Like I'm sure they're afraid of Jake having an idol, so why not throw their votes on someone who's irrelevant at the moment and who probably wouldn't see it coming? Anyway, I HIGHLY doubt Ben is leaving tonight, and I don't really believe that the votes are going on Heather or Jake, idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk. I really hope Jake stays, and I really hope Ben goes or I am probably screwed af.

[artistsintheclassroom9]

Wisdom 2.0: New Leader Summit | The Computer History Museum (May 2018): My Notes

Wisdom 2.0. New Leader Summit. The Computer History Museum. May 2018. Mountain View, CA

Disclaimer: As with all of my published notes from workshops or conferences, these are in no way comprehensive. Nor are they a literal summation of what was said. They are simply my notes, my interpreted, perspective-ed reflections, photos, and jottings, that occasionally combine my own records & thoughts with those of the speakers. There might be some typos.

Good Morning! ☀️

The Vision of the New Leader | Soren Gordhamer (Wisdom 2.0):

“I didn’t just want to do it for 30 minutes, it needed more breathing room.”

“Maybe instead of having all the answers, a leader knows how to ask the right questions”.

Wisdom & Compassion in Business | Scott Shute (LinkedIn):

Old wisdom is making its way into boardrooms.

Holding the tension between what’s easy and what’s right.

“You’re going to have to make that right.”

Do what you say you’re going to do.

Your work matters.

Finding our community & making the world a little bit smaller.

“Maybe they’re going to want to have you deprogrammed if you talk about this...” (on mindfulness & meditation..).

The tension between one’s authentic self, and the person we’re brining to work.

My question: How do we hold that? And how do we close that?

The Growth Edge.

Business As Community | Giving Back and Moving Forward | Ebony Frelix (Salesforce) | Soren Gordhamer (Wisdom 2.0):

If you can’t describe your job to your Mom or a third grader, you’ve failed. (Agreed! )

Modeling starts at home, and in the community.

Stressing the value of focus.

You only have so long to burn the candle at both ends.

Battling what’s taught about leadership and the leader I was becoming.. (me too).

Balancing the drive between growth & results, and growth & vulnerability.

Something that you thought was a disaster, and failed, was actually something people admired.

Often, the meditation room is something equated with the looser room (glad this is changing ).

The opportunity to unplug at work.

Vet & EMPLOY.

Not every job needs a degree.

Equity In Tech | Shifting Power Dynamics And Reimagining Leadership | Scott Shute (LinkedIn) | (Karla Monterosso (Code2040):

Started at the intersection of poverty & health work.

“The whole next economic & social contract of the country is being built in the cloud, and no one that looks like me is there.”

Often companies do not have enough people of color concentrated in one place to understand their experience, and it’s not safe for those people to speak up.

Software creates the world ethos; you’re going to have a future developed by what’s happening right now.

AI is not machine learning, AI is pattern matching, and those patterns are being discerned / navigated by humans.

Our program is set up with the understanding that “minorities” are not the problem.

Temporary strategy? Permanent strategy? Where is it?

Failing to evaluate their own hiring processes.

You want & need data.

It’s not a feelings problem – we don’t need to feel better about having more diversity in the work place -  it’s an operations & management problem.

Setting goals that give us direction.

Evaluate your systems & processes..

“Stanford” is not a skill.

Tech Justice League.

This is not about lowering the bar; it’s about creating it (Woot Woot!  ).

By 2040 there are going to be more Latin & Black people in America than anyone else.

Affinity groups are being asked to do the heavy lifting that leadership should be doing. (Agreed. I’d say that’s true in public education as well).

We need training in how gender bias and racial bias operates at a deep level.

We’re treating inclusion as an add-on program, and that’s not right.

Leaders need to understand the experience that their ethos has created.

How do personal & institutionalized power work? (My question as well).

The flow of data, and capital.

WE COULD BE BUILD SUCH AN EXCITING WORLD!

We don’t have to take advantage of some people to make the pie bigger. (Amen! ).

Wisdom @ Work | The Modern Elder | Chip Conley (Joie De Vivre) | Soren Gordhamer (Wisdom 2.0):

Liberating “Elder” from “Elderly”.

We’re living longer, and power is moving younger.

Intergenerational Collaboration.

A wisdom seeker as much as a wisdom keeper.

Rethinking what it means to be valuable & relevant in the workplace.

Rites of passage happen in cultures to help people through transformative places in their life.

How do we help re-value, and re-purpose people @ mid-life?

Age agnostic – valuing people regardless of age.

Re-purposing yourself at any age.

Emotional Intelligence grows over time.

Editing your identity – What is it that is no longer serving you? Let it go.

Environmental Mastery.

What & How are optimization questions.

“Why” & “What If” actually uncover blind spots.

Asking questions that uncover blind spots…. That’s wisdom.

Evolve, Learn, Collaborate.

DQ – Digital Intelligence.

EQ – Emotional Intelligence.

A confidant, is also a person that gives you confidence.

Who in the organization do you go to for advice?

Who in the organization is generating invisible productivity?

Environmental Mastery – Where are you putting yourself when you’re at your best?

On reclaiming terms.. “Queer”, for example.

Owning the term doesn’t just allow you to re-claim it, it allows you to organize around it.

Find the habitat that is going to embrace the demographic that you are.

Encapsulate your wisdom in a way that helps people “get it” very quickly.

Thinking of systems & organizational issues around a societal problem.

The system needs to be changed.

Changing the system & disrupting ______ (cant’ read my writing) in the work place.

It’s not just about the length of your life, it’s about the depth of your life.

ERG = Employee Resource Group

Less than 10% of companies in Silicon Valley have ERG’s for people who are older.

How do we find spaciousness?

Being curious enough to not know the answer in advance.

Collateral costs & benefits of decision-making.

Re: Coaching – Is this a knowledge share? Or is it creating more internal awareness, and awareness development?

Community Connections | Harnessing Group Wisdom | Scott Shute (LinkedIn):

You have one mouth, and two ears.

Lean, teach, share.

A book that was recommended to me in our breakout group: Unstoppable, Cynthia Kersey

Coaching The New Leader | Jonathan Rosenfeld (Trium Group) | Michelle Gale (Author):

Educating leaders of teams on systems theory. (YES!)

How do we need people to contribute to the room?

Being personally responsible for the success of the group.

How is this team operating as a highly complex system?

It’s the most adaptable that succeed, not the smartest or the strongest.

On Coaching – You don’t want to foster dependency, you want to come in, do an effective intervention, and then get out. (YES!)

Fostering behavior that’s in everyone’s best interest.

What serves both us & the group?

What do you notice in some of the healthiest company cultures?

It starts at the top (Indeed!).

Courage (to venture into uncomfortable spaces) & Humility (to trust the process).

Care about people.

BREATHE  

The Role of Diversity In Tech | Eddie Medina (BetterUp) | Jennifer Fonstad (Venture Investor) | Rachel Sheinbein (Lemnos):

Public trust & moral leadership.

Not just building valuable companies, building good companies.

There’s power in diversity from an economic perspective.

Teams perform better when they’re diverse.

#FoundersForChange

Flipping the power dynamic.

A lot of women & minority groups are often told “You need to work harder than anyone else..”, “Don’t stand out too much, don’t piss anyone off..”

You need to be able to take risks & fail, if you want to do anything audacious & big, and simultaneously, if you fail, you just confirm everyone’s unspoken beliefs.”

Vacillation between fear & greed.

Being committed to being a diverse employer from Day 1.

Building an inclusive culture.

Bringing diversity to a company doesn’t really matter if you’re not allowed to voice anything (YES! – Think this is a prevalent norm in student  & educator culture in Public Ed.).

The problem is treating inclusion as an HR Program vs. a business strategy (it need to be a business strategy)!

The hard thing is to be courageous in environments where you don’t feel like your voice will be valued or heard. (YES!)

(#MeToo) - that sense that we’re innocent, and then there are those bad apples… Isn’t helpful to anyone.

A reminder about the biases that everybody brings to the world.

The New Leader | Harnessing Wisdom & Compassion | Jeff Weiner (LinkedIn) |  Soren Gordhamer (Wisdom 2.0):

Spoke a lot about Ray Chambers

Embodied Leadership (YES ).

Walking the walk.

You need to recruit & onboard against your culture & values.

It’s not just about the What, it’s also about the How.

Transformation, Integrity, Honor, and Results.

What we’re looking for:

Steep learning curves, vertical learning curves.

People who don’t take themselves too seriously.

People who you look forward to coming in to work with everyday.

A multi-varied equation in terms of the constituents you’re trying to service.

Is this in service of our vision?

When you’re an individual contributor you tend to be more focused on the work, and more in your own head.

Awareness.

Managing with compassion.

There’s a difference between egocentricism and egomaniacism.

Expecting other people to do things the way you did is extremely uncompassionate.

It requires a lot of energy to manage compassionately, to sit with someone when they’re suffering.

There’s a difference between Managing, Coaching, and Mentoring. Rare individuals can do all three, but they’re different.

Managing = making sure the work is getting done.

Coaching = helping someone learn & grow.

Mentoring = helping someone understand what they ultimately want to do with their career, or life, and then sharing your experiences with them.

Re: Checking in with someone right away if there seems to be tension, or a misunderstanding. A certain kind of intensity – we need to address this right now.

Seeking to understand, so we need to be in conversation.

If you don’t nip it in the bud right away, if becomes way more than the actual issue, because they might speak about it with their colleagues, and then their team, and before you know it, it becomes about the team, and then perhaps the department, and eventually thousands of people.. And then all the energy goes into navigating the politics of that.

You never want to be giving your power away to things you cant control (YES!).

Education Reform, and managing compassionately.

“A Class Divided”

Compassion should be the operating system upon which we teach everything else.

Actually operationalizing the vision statement.

Creating economic opportunity for every member of the global workforce.

We don’t need other people’s charity. We need access to opportunity.

There are fundamental difference between managers & leaders.

The clarity of ones vision, the courage of ones conviction, and the ability to lead from both of these places.

Who are you serving through your products & services? And even more importantly, who are you not serving?

Start Ups That Work | Investing In The New Leader | Gus Tai (Trinity Ventures) | Tim Chang (Mayfield) | Ann Crady Weiss (True Ventures) | Michelle Gale (Author):

Emotional intelligence & grit; Founding is a lonely job.

Just because someone was one way before doesn’t mean they will be that way in the future.

There’s a lot of risk.

80% of all start-ups don’t even return capital.

Venture Capitalists (VC’s) questions when considering funding / backing:

What is this person like when they’re at play?

What are they like when they’re under deep stress?

Do they know their core wound, and are they aware of it?

(On a promising founder..): They deeply know who they are and what they want to do, and what is right for them at that moment…. And how to get the resources they need.

The best way to be different is to be true to yourself.

(For founders of prior failed start ups, that want to try again): Outcome doesn’t matter, but I’d like to know what they learned from it, what was their learning.

A learning opportunity & a lack of luck.

Something that keeps you going when the times gets tough..

When you feel present & at ease, you’ll probably feel wiser.

The human mind clutches on recency.

All misery comes from over-attachment to outcomes, and if outcomes are all you talk about, well…

The narrative that’s working really well in venture capital is diversity.

Our wealth disparity is greater than ever.

Advice for a potential entrepreneur (like me  )

You’re never as good as you think you are.

You’re never as bad as you think you are.

Develop a practice of self-compassion & kindness.

Who are you really? Keep double clicking on that.

What do you really want? Keep double clicking on that.

What are you in service to? Keep double clicking on that.

On pitching: Explain why you are uniquely qualified and have an unfair advantage to do this.

Show me why now is a particularly interesting time.

Sell it.

If you don’t believe it, I’m not going to believe it.

Leadership As Alignment | Directing without Dictating | Joshua Reeves (Gusto) | Soren Gordhamer (Wisdom 2.0):

What does a CEO do?

They’re a steward of the purpose of the company.

Doing an “all hands”.

We went from 50 people to 500 people (!), in a relatively short amount of time.

How have you navigated that growth?

How have you maintained culture throughout that growth?

No one there wears shoes. Seriously.

A program focused purely on motivation & values alignment.

Focus on “Alignment” when hiring.

It’s not about a company trying to get someone, or an individual trying to convince someone to hire them, it’s “are our paths / values aligned?” (YES! And I’d say this can only happen when neither side is desperate.).

Show, don’t tell.

Am I eager to say what I’m doing? Do I want to evangelize about it? Or am I in stealth mode?

Introspection – the why & then the how.

Entrepreneurs have to be inherently optimistic.

“It’s just really fun to fix stuff.”

Can you fix something?

Can you do it in a way you are proud of?

Wisdom-Based Leadership | Lessons In Guiding People & Teams | Soren Gordhamer (Wisdom 2.0) | Karen May (Google):

Originally she was an organizational psychologist & coach.

As a leader, it’s important to own the seat that you’re in, and take that responsibility seriously, and also know that you’re not the seat that you are in.

Leader with responsibility vs. Leader with ego.

At the end of the day we’re just talking about humans trying to get things done, through & with other people.

It’s really difficult to give something up that’s worked for you in the past.

What got you here, won’t get you there – (Conditions of growth, from my perspective – the next leg of the journey requires new skills).

Watching people trying to unlearn old habits.

When we look at old successes, where we came from: luck & skill -- putting it together -- is almost worse, because you can’t help but feel like it had something to do with you.

Withholding feedback from someone is also a disservice.

Being aware of your conditioning.

You have to be self aware enough to know what your intentions are in giving the feedback.

Often people giving it really want to see the other person be successful.

Sharing that you get what they’re about is helpful.

“And I think you’re getting in your own way in couple of ways..”

“If I were you, I would sure hope that someone was telling me this.”

Check your intensions first, then think about how you’re going to deliver feedback.

If there’s a power dynamic, give choice to the receiver about how & when it will happen.

If we continue on, doing exactly what we’re doing today, we won’t be successful. Because you’re not evolving.

At Google you’re rated on your feedback giving, and it’s public.

The world is a difficult place to be in if you don’t want to hear feedback.

Things need to be taken seriously, and also not very seriously.

What gives you the most satisfaction at the end of the day?

Self-Awareness.

Being open to the possibility of working in a different way.

Compassion.

Gratitude.

Enabling others & seeing them.

Inspiration.

Bringing Mindfulness To High Performance Environments | Scott Shute (LinkedIn) | Alexis Pokorny (Mindful Millenial Leader):

Overnight, I lost 48% of my business.

People have been recognized at an operational level.

Doing an “All Hands” call.

(On mindfulness in the workplace): It’s got to be relevant to the business, and align with its’ goals.

And then just start DOING IT!

Productivity & Fulfillment

Perspective.

Results?

More thoughtfulness in hiring.

Meetings take less time.

Giving people permission to leave; Having the right people in the room.

An understanding of what’s being said that isn’t actually spoken?

Closing | Soren Gordhamer (Wisdom 2.0):

The Universe is here to help us. It’s on our side. How do we partner with it?  😊

My Experience in Photographs: 

Related Links (17-18):

Wisdom 2.0: New Leader Summit | The Computer History Museum (May 2018): Ebony Frelix (Salesforce) | Giving Back & Moving Forward

Wisdom 2.0 2018: Day 1: My (Primarily Visual) Notes

Wisdom 2.0 2018: Day 2: My (Primarily Visual) Notes

Wisdom 2.0 2018: Day 3: My (Primarily Visual) Notes

Wisdom 2.0 2018: Mindfulness, Capitalism, and the Emerging Consciousness: Rich Fernandez (SIYLI) - I Agree! This Level of Poverty Is A Crime

Wisdom 2.0 2018: Thank You! ❤️

Wisdom 2.0 2018: Some Of My Favorite Talks - Part 1

Wisdom 2.0 2018: Some Of My Favorite Talks - Part 2

Wisdom 2.0 2018: Some Of My Favorite Talks - Part 3

Wisdom 2.0 | The Future of Mindfulness: Meditation & Apps | LinkedIn (Oct. 2017): My Notes

Wisdom 2.0 | The Future of Mindfulness: Meditation & Apps | LinkedIn (Oct. 2017): My Experience In Photographs

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