#and dont give me any of that “well just carry them” bullshit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

magnoliamyrrh · 2 years ago

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You’re posts have really opened my eyes and resonated a lot with me and I now find that I am in agreement with more radical feminist writings than I previously thought. I am interested in reading more and learning more about these topics, and I am someone who subscribes to trans inclusive feminism, but how do you walk that line and own your status as a radical feminist without people trying to group you in with TERFs?

hmm, maybe you wont find this answer too satisfying. people do all the time, i just dont care that much

because, heres the thing. in many regards its much like the "swerf" thing. you disagree with sex work or you question things and youre an evil bitch who hates sex workers and wants a genocide against sex workers and youre a prude and a conservative and also somehow youre a racist white supremacist too lmao and a fascist and a nazi andddd - ive fucking heard it all by this point. ive heard it all. i think its obvious by now that all that is bogus, and that "swerfs" dont exist, that im not any of these things and i dont want any of these things. i think its obvious now that these are baseless and exagerrated and insane accusations thrown around by people who lack the ability to understand or bear another viewpoint, lack critical thinking abilities, and find it much easier to throw around a whole bunch of shit to shut you up instead of coming with any half real damn argument or discourse. ive come across an incredibly small handful of radfems over the years who shame "sex workers" and i and many don't even consider them radfems, because how tf can you call yourself a radical feminist and shame women who are just trying to survive. every group has their looneys, every forest has its dry patches

thing is, as ive said many times on here before, liberal feminism is the way it is because it is postmodern and because it is quite literally a psyop of the cia to wreck class conciousness, which it is doing very well. when you fully get what postmodernism is, how it functions, and WHY exactly the cia found it to be the complete anthises of marxism and why it was "unconventional warfare at its best" and "an subtle covert operational carried out at the highest intellectual level" - the words of us government officials, many things about current day liberalism and wokeness and western culture and whatever the hell else click into place. m a n y. im not willing to shut up and play the cias game. i refuse. im not willing to shut up just because mostly priviledged western liberals who claim to be so open minded lose their absolute shit when you say anything at all outside of the narrative. ive lost friendships, ive had people threaten to beat me up over the "sex work" shit, had plenty of ppl online tell me i should kill myself or be raped lmao, i am very aware that quite literally at LEAST on a good day 40-50% of my university campus and probably more actually thinks i should be beaten up or whatever the fuck for not supporting "sex work." i dont give a shit. im still vocal about it both on here and at uni and wherever else. my women and girls are currently, as i write this, being trafficking and raped and some are even being non-sexually tortured and killed because of this ideology. a significant amount of my women and girls are stuck in slavery because of this, everyones priviledged 0-class-conciousness delusions detached from material reality aside. and ive personally been through way too much fucking bullshit and horror. i dont have the privilege of silence, no matter the sheer aggression, hostility, and violence that the western liberals have been deluded into

there are many things ive said on here which would instantly get me labled a terf. many. being a lesbian really doesnt help with this lmao. i use the word female, i use it to refer to the female sex - including trans identified females such as nonbinary ones or transexual men, i still know biological sex exists which even that is controversial to some, i acknowledged that transexual women are male, i acknowledge that the opression of biological women is directly linked to biological sex, i dont use the word cis etc. i still call myself a homosexual. i critique femininity and masculinity - social gender - for what they are - social constructs of stereotypes assigned to the sexes build in a patriatchal system which are particularly made to opress the female sex. i have said before i want the abolishion of gender. yes, this makes me gender critical. im not willing to spend 90% of my time talking about endless individualistic relativity and language politics and "does such a thing as woman even exist at all ¿?¿" because this is postmodernism. all of these things ive said on here before one way or another and all are already enough to get me called a terf by plenty of people - because most of these dont mesh with queer theory at all (postmodernism) - i just stopped giving a shit. because this is feminism in 99% of the world outside of western liberalism. because we need to be able to have language which allows us to talk about important shit. because postmodernism be damned we need to be able to deal with the issues we have in Material Reality. because as far as im concerned only privileged westerners have the ability to sit around endlessly spending most of their time going on abt how "WoMeN DoNt ExIst" "FeMiNiTy is OpReSsEd nOt FeMaLeNesS" and calling this feminism. because frankly a whole lot of this was accepted even in trans circles like less than a decade ago before queer theory (postmodernism) took off

you say any of the above, and to many youre already a terf. you dont 100% agree with modern day queer theory, youre a terf or a transmedicalist or both or whatever the fuck else. you dare to question anything ever, and youre a terf. you dare to be 0.5% critical, and youre a terf. sure, whatever. im not playing this game and im not dancing to this tune. i dont care about performativity and i dont care about virtue signaling. what the fuck am i supoosed to do exactly, never be able to make the most basic feminist statements accepted everywhere else on this planet? nah. similarly - am i supposed to shut up abt that whole sexual slavery thing bc im gonna be called an evil swerf? nah. this is not a healthy culture, this is not a healthy discourse, this is not a healthy mindset or society or community. open discourse and critique is necessary. everything should be up for questioning, everything should be up for critique. when this stops being the case, we have an issue on our damn hands

no, i dont believe in queer theory for a long list of reasons. no, i do not agree with 10000% of modern day trans ideology. no, this does not make a genocidal fascist maniac. no, this doesnt make me a racist - this concept is ridiculous anyway because a) theres plenty of nonwestern cultures who never had, even before colonializism, any concept whatsoever of a third/other gender system, b) the nonwestern cultures who have third-gender systems (the balkans being included in this frankly w the sworn virgins tradition, which comes from sexism btw, most known in albania but spanning several balkan countries including my own) dont traditionally believe in modern day western liberal queer theory, and in fact i think its cultural colonialization and the importation of western ideas to lable those ppl and ways of understanding things by modern western understandings. theres Plenty of nonwestern third-gender people who straight up speak against this,,, and who speak against queer theory- sooo,,, yea..things are really more complicated than baseless accusations being thrown around. theres plenty of nonwestern/woc who are critical of queer theory so, yea, more complicated than baseless accusations being thrown around

does this mean i "exclude trans people" thus the (te)rf? or that i hate them or that whatever else? no. i identified as nonbinary and agender and demiboy for a good while there, i understand where people are coming from, i understand the workings of the ideology. i just dont believe in it now for a long list of reasons. this doesnt mean that i exclude female people who are trans-identified from my feminism, nor that i exclude transexual women bc as ive said in another post, while they do not experience opression on the basis of being biologically female, and while theirs is a different experience from being female, a transexual woman especially one whose passed for many years does experience a form of misogyny, and we do have shared experiences and struggles in common. as ive said before, sex dysphoria can be a very serious and debilitating and painful medical condition ive experienced myself especially when i was younger, and i have sympathy for those who are trying to cope and live their best lives.... why is it than i must agree 10000% with the new woke ideology which has barely existed for less than a decade and changes every 5 days or i somehow want people dead, apparently? hell, theres plenty of transexuals, especially older generation ones, who dont agree with it, and i get why, all my sympathy to them because they cant even talk about their Own issues without being dogpiled

again, i dont believe in postmodernism. i dont agree with completely rupturing class consiousness, completely denying material reality, and spending 99% of the time talking about hyper-individualism and language. do i hate people who believe in queer theory? no. in fact, i have several friends who still do whove ive had very open, very long conversations with on being gender critical, and guess what, we were able to hear each other out and disagree on some things and agree on others and see eye to eye and either fucking way, they understand that i dont hate them or want them dead or exclude them or whatever the hell, simply because i hold another point of view. some have come to agree with me alltogether, some havent. either way, all got that its stupid as hell to call me a "terf," because sometimes, nuance still exists on this planet.

do i think there are radical feminism who are genuinely transphobic? yea. have i come across them yea? yea. i dont engage w them, i dont engage with anyone whose throwing around slurs or etc. do i think and know a whole lot of those women who get called ~terfs~ are just, get this, not transphobic but women (and some trans ppl frankly, there are indeed trans ppl who are radfems) who dare to even question shit or have a different opinion, but dont want anyone dead, or harmed, or see anyone as less human or deserving of saftey and care etc? yea, yea they are

so, to answer your question, i walk the line by not giving a shit anymore, and saying what the hell i think, because by this point if i didnt i wouldn't be able to say most things ive ever written abt feminism on this blog. radical feminism is not inherently trans exclusionary, it is not inherently transphobic, material analysis is not transphobic, most of radical feminism has a whole lot more to focus on than this particular issue anyway, and daring to have any sort of different opinion isnt trans exclusionary, either

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red-woods · 1 year ago

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i was a child when i saw it happen , i was walking down a street i didnt usually , feeling a little scared , a little lost , a little excited be the idea of not doing what i was supposed to , and quickly squashing it down with guilt . i wasnt supposed to do what i wasnt supposed to and if i did i wasnt supposed to like it .

and then i saw something strange , sorry , someone strange . i saw a fly on a wall , call me crazy but id seen them before , their wing was torn up and they had to walk .

i searched in my pockets for something to give them but , was caught in an odd feeling . it was anger . whatever i could give them wouldnt be enough to keep them fed forever , or protect them from the winter , or keep them safe . they were so small and vulnerable , and to so many people inconsequencial , and it made me angry at something deep , and fundamental that i couldnt place , or maybe just the society we lived in . i chalked it up to being angry that my parents would never let me bring a bug inside to take care of them but - it ran deeper than that . it was - cosmic . and it hurt . it hurt really bad .

my pockets were empty , and i felt a sense of guilt , and , i couldve sworn : hunger , and all at the same time : forgiveness ? i wasnt sure what i had to forgive so it confused me .

i saw them fall from the wall , and i rushed over to try and help , in whatever way i thought was possible but : bugs dont have doctors .

but i swear , i saw something come out of them . it was still them , im not sure how i knew but : it , sorry , they : grew , with long spindly , shadowy limbs , they grew hands , they tried growing a face but couldnt really so their face was sort of just blank . they were a child , and they held my hand .

i felt sad .

i said : hey , lets get you some food . and had a twinge of recognition that beforehand , i wouldnt have gotten it for them . i hoped it was because i felt like theyd have moved had i left , but i knew that wasnt it . i couldve carried them with me , and hidden them , and gotten them all the food they had needed . and i felt angry at myself .

we walked to my house , and i felt the need to hide them , because , they werent entirely human . i asked them to wait in the garden , and id get a cloak from a ren fair that could hide them . they didnt know any of those words , none if them were in the bible . i ran inside , tried to ignore the start of one of my mom's infamous hour long rants about some bullshit unrelated to literally anything , found a cloak , and brought it out excitedly along with pants , a shirt , the works .

i stopped .

someone saw them , and was starting to target them with the distinct cadence of someone who had found someone who isnt human , and who they know they can hurt .

i walked over calmly as if i was seeing an old friend , made up a convincing enough name , and said " hey i heard you were trying out your new halloween costume ! i got mine ready , i think your dad is right around the block over there with his costume !

i felt fear deeper than i ever had , i felt small , and weak , and i knew what was going to happen . i could feel it , not entirely , but i winced noticably , i passed it off as a sneeze .

they werent hiding their fear as well as i was because they scrambled to get away from the person , but werent sure where to go . i felt distrustful and scared , especially of the person who had been coming at me , but also of the person who didnt see me as - human ? what was a human - where did the lines blur , if i wasnt human , and humans were the only life they seemed to feel like was worth going out of your way to protect : what was i , did i matter ?

i was shocked at the thoughts id just had and felt very sad and apologetic but understood - the thing id been mad at , the cosmic , unfair thing i couldnt name : wasnt just the way the universe functioned was ingrained inside of me . and i suddenly felt it was something i had to destroy completely , at all costs .

the person with no face fled . i dont blame them honestly , because , i dont want to get into it . and i didnt see them again until later , when it happened .

i saw a circle of people i knew , most of them assholes to be honest , not surprising giving the circumstances . and then i felt it . i doubled over from the pain and screamed , loud . i tried to stand up and crashed into people nearby , some people there tried to help me , but quickly dropped it when others closer to the inside of the circle started regarding me as if i were something , or someone - to poke with a stick .

i felt horror , a fear of the cold dark nothingness , of a universe that genuinely didnt care about me , about flies , about some strange and horrific structure that should mean i would go home safe while someone else didnt . god , there was no way i was going home safe was there . haha oh god ,

i blacked out . when i woke up no one was around me , i think theyd scattered - which , was fair i thought - it looked like the scene of a crime . but - i started to remember that it was . i was lying in a puddle of blood , i coughed , tried to pull myself up from where i was lying , and fell back down but i knew it wasnt my blood , i was going - was i going to be okay ? it - was my blood , oh god i had bruises and cuts all over me - who was myself , who was them , were they with me now ? was one of us going to vanish ? i didnt think so , i wouldnt let that happen . i felt something around my neck , it was a chain . i held it gently , and - it said both of our names , with a symbol .

it looked like the symbol for yen almost , like this ¥ , but not quite . it was more rounded , and had one more line .

we lay there for quite some time . after a while the world stopped spinning , our heads stopped throbbing , we felt good enough to get up , although extremely slowly and gingerly . we limped back to my house clutching our injuries , we had both agreed to go their home and eat a metric fuck ton of every food we werent supposed to , and pass the fuck out in a comfy bed . and we did . we looked at our hands , there was a shadowy one there only we could see , and a body to hide them , we laughed about it , and dumped rotting garbage on the lawns of all who crossed us .

the end ^ w ^

The beast was dead. It took every adventurer in town and many a casualty, but the beast was finally dead. The town was saved - until someone noticed the creature was wearing a collar and a nametag.

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catt030516 · 1 year ago

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The burning fire of our fallen tree makes me reminiscent youth. Coon hunting till late, starting a big fire, pulling the trucks around it. Getting drunk.

Being in love like never before.

You can’t replicate being naive. We actually never used anything. I think we thought we were going to just have babies and live happily ever after.😂😂😂 we never had any which must have just have been the universe.

But, he broke up with me because (I told you the cologne story) I wasn’t forthcoming about hanging out with someone of the opposite sex. Then his dad signed him out of school the next day.

In response to him having a cheating scandal or two with his ex and Mary.

Like I said I miss being naive. Because now that I look at it without the “buts…” it’s harder to just blame me. He hurt me w/o excuse. I did the same. Wish I’d have been stronger and then I’d have been less scared of the truth. And he had no reasons to cheat on me. That was mean.

Just saw Mike in my driveway today. Asked me how the fire was.

I instantly thought:

“Kelly? Cate? For the love of Christ why did you fuck that up and give this man another shot when he was clearly fucking another woman???!?!?”

Fear.

Fear of change.

Fear of what others would think.

Its almost always fear. Fear prevents more unhappiness then any straight up abuse does.

I was scared to lose my kids. I was afraid he’d take them from me. At that point in his life, Buoy did nothing but support and love me. He was good with Evan who was two. And I never appreciated that until it was too late.

And damn, Bukowski said it best:

“…and there’s nothing ever worse than “Too late.”

We get such a small flicker of time on this wheel of karma tic life, and it’s amazing what lengths we go to to gain the favor of someone or everyone else but ourselves. Just so we can live another lifetime ( I believe within our own family lines) and try to do it correctly.

**If I’m rambling quit reading because I’m copying it/pasting it for the journal entry I have to do😂😂**

I think the hardest decisions are the ones the ones we carry out in length because we are afraid. Afraid of hurting someone. So we what? Hurt ourselves? Hurt other people with us? Hurt our futures.

There was a time, when for approx. a month I would be sat down on Sundays prior to leaving to go home. You’d give me these dancing words, basically you were trying to say, “Look, I feel like lost. I need more of you.”

You are human. It would be hard to process, but with Evan, hell, I have asked his father. Even 6 months was not unreasonable. But in your confusion you let her, exactly a year to the week,come and tell you you were together.

Which was made clear to everyone but her.

After every sacrifice I’d ever given you. After all of the missed holidays, swallowed grief, sleepless night, long drives. Shared secrets. Shared motherfucking secrets.

Just because you could never look up and say, “yes, Dawn. You moved out I’ve been seeing someone. It’s going well. I don’t hate you. You are the mother of my children. We both made mistakes. But I understand and respect the life you’ve made this year as well. I’m sure you will respect my life as I respect your

Instead, it was jokes and dancing instead of answering the direct question. Who knows WHAT you are are afraid of. Maybe your just a borderline who can’t exist without the presence of chaotic relationship? I honestly have to admit I DONT know. I can’t know you at all after any of that, can I?

So for about a month you’d have these talks with me. Usually right after sex once I was dressed and ready to leave to make the drive home. Instead of saying, “I’m lonely don’t leave” you’d act like a stepdad/someone who was not Ron. You’d tell me how you weren’t divorced. All this bullshit I will never listen to again in my life. You acted like I didn’t have someone I just lost! Someone your cowardice denied me the right to sit at his funeral. The nerve of you.

Yes, I was very caught up in my feelings. When Ronda found me passed out barely breathing there’s no way to describe how angry I was she found me. I acted like Sylvia Plath.

And why wouldn’t I? I was begining to experiance the very long eulogy that is burying a man that never existed. Whose not physically dead. But there’s nothing NOTHING left of who I thought I knew.

I understand a lot of people live the way they do. It’s about the years, not the rules or any degree of happiness. I want you to remember (and I’m sure you do) who was really there for you, when you were hard? working Friday nights, when things were upside down with your mom. Did you ever have to worry about me running around Ron, Did you? Did you ever? Did you care when your kids heartbeat stopped or were you relieved? I at least bought in to the fact I was part of your family. I introduced myself to the nurse as your girlfriend. Stupid me. Should’ve told her to hurry in and close the door.

“ I’m the mistress. Yes it’s been a year my boyfriend is afraid of his wife finding out and not being his friend anymore.”

😂😂Could you fucking imagine? Me putting up with you in that capacity??

Yeah, I can’t either.

That fear made all of that even harder then it had to be. Just because you couldn’t just say the truth. You drug this out so long, have said or done things nearly unforgivable ( I forgive once I process, for very selfish reasons.)

I hope you had a nice time we were together. I hope you long to feel how wonderful it was since wAaaay back in Angola. I hope it felt good to have me there next to you. Inside of me in our bed you now share with Dawn.

Because unless you’re

on your knees pleading for apologies for your egotism and dishonesty, you’ll never so much as kiss my cheek.

Ron Stroupe died last December. I don’t know who you are or why you’d think I’d put up with any of your antics. Please don’t cause this home, the home that brought you in without question, anymore damage.

The Ron Stroupe I knew had an estranged wife. He isn’t afraid to tell her about me. He wouldn’t have done that to us. He was a man. Hard or not, he was a man, not a coward.

6/23/2023

Can you celebrate 29 years or do you have to jump back to year 27 1/2?😂😂😂

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indeedaesies · 2 years ago

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4/4/23

Cultures in any working industries is stupid & ridiculous.

Everyone rushes & competes who can carry the boss’s balls the highest. Boss takes advantage of his position and literally behaves like the biggest asshole on this planet.

I just got FUCKED by the worst boss I’ve ever worked for and his work bitch, aka The Manager. They’re quite well known in the company as Clown 1 & Clown 2. All for an MC that I had received from a certified doctor as I was diagnosed with Influenza B, a contagious disease and somehow almost everyone in my timeline is getting it in Singapore now. New covid? I was still not well yet I wore my mask and dragged myself to work as I did not want my colleague to be on shift alone, KNOWING how that felt like. Only to be fucked as early as 0830 on a Sunday morning.

Could not wait till work ended? Oh that’s right - coming from “the boss” who works everyday where he comes in at 0800 and fuck any nurse who arrives later than him, has time for exercises in between consults, goes for a two hour break unbothered, goes of as early as 3 or sometimes earlier, complains and bitches when he has to do a procedure for the patients, find faults with nurses, beats the patients up, does surgery without sterilised gloves contaminating everything, sides with his entitled clients who lies to his nurses but comes up with bullshit stories for him and when nurses try to clarify and explain themselves, he takes it as talking back and will make your life hell.

Oh, & lets not forget the work bitch - comes in the latest among all the nurses, dont even bother helping anyone with any treatments in the morning, sits at the front every single shift and claim “as the manager I need eyes everywhere so being at the reception is where I need to be to know everything”, has no idea everyone at work hates her, make so much promises but delivers nothing, turn the nurses and doctors against one another, telling me “as the new manager you should not join in the bitching” but bitches the most, act like someone you can trust behind the boss’s back but immediately give a whole new charade in front of him, acts nothing like a leader, purely lazy, throws the phone to other nurses who are having their breaks when clearly she is supposed to be the one mending the phone as per a receptionist does, will literally talk shit non stop, extremely bias, bitched about a nurse and claiming she wants to terminate her just because this nurse’s mom is a kidney dialysis patient and needs to be sent for treatments, hits patients too, really not around as she is busy chain smoking her lungs out, also leaving work as soon as the boss goes home.

I swear to god, this company’s a J O K E. These two clowns tell clients their pets are safe with us. THEY ARENT, especially not with these two mother fuckers who really, I do not understand why the fuck are they in this industry. Patients are being left ALONE overnight but these two clowns will tell clients “there will always be a nurse to take care of your pet overnight”. NO, there IS NOT! Coming to 5 months, I have seen 4 patients DIE overnight as there was NO NURSE OR VET to take care of them. My heart breaks every single fucking day. I vowed never to work for a company that does this shit and fuck me I was just desperate and an idiot to think I could change this place for the better. These two mother fuckers are inhumane. I saw once the boss CHOKE a motherfucking corgi with the leash because he was fierce. I had it handled, I was already restraining the corgi and this piece of shit grabbed his leash and held him in the air. I had to yell to tell him to stop. That corgi was so afraid. I have seen this monster castrate a cat when the cat was not even down yet all because he was in a “hurry”. I cried and I prayed for the cat because I was useless, I was a nobody and that was all I could do, help the cat recover from such a traumatic experience.

I try my best every single day, to do what I do best and that is to save animal lives. Help them. Be their voice. Make them comfortable. Everything that happens in this clinic goes against everything I believed in.

On that unfateful morning, while getting yelled at by the two clowns, all that went through my head was what would happen if I were to snap? My boss told me “i paid you your full salary to do your job” and tell me clearly what the fuck have i been doing all these months then? Come in to work and open my fucking legs and sit on my ass all day? He told me “I cannot work with you anymore, you took more medical leave than I did through my career. Go find a company that will tolerate this and do not tell me I am unfair” That’s rich coming from someone who is so full of it? Like I wouldnt come to work every single day if I get to not work, pass my surgeries and procedures to my nurses and other vets, go for undisturbed breaks and leave before 4 everyday? And Ive been slogging for them and this was my very first long medical leave BECAUSE OF A VIRUS MIND YOU.

Then coming from the work bitch “You can kiss your manager post goodbye, there is no way I can handover this position to you, this is unacceptable” - well funny how this is coming from someone who is not even FIT to lead a team. Also, I have already mentally checked out the managerial post as I have bigger plans coming my way and that is to get the fuck out of this company ASAP.

All for a medical leave. They know it is illegal to terminate me as MOM will not allow it, so here they are making it unbearable for me.

Dont get me wrong, the other doctors and nurses are amazing. I am really close to them as I bothered to get to know them. I took the time to hear them. I try my best to be there for them or help them. I understood what they go through. No matter what happens outside work, I still come to work every time with a smile on my face and make it worthwhile for everyone. But these two pieces of shit - in it for other reasons. And I do not know, for the first time in my life, what to do next.

All I know is, they can try their very best to get me to quit on my own accord but too bad, I am a survivor. I have been through shits after shits to be who I am today. They want me gone, they’ll have to give me a payout. Funny how this bitch is telling me all these bullshits to put on a good show for him when she’s the one that confirmed me as a permanent staff on my second month and even increased my salary. All because of a medical leave that I was entitled too. Amazing right?

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lxvebun · 3 years ago

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So… I know you have 2 HC’s of this now. But may I make a request of some more chubby reader x Dabi 👉👈 I absolutely adore reading your other ones, especially if I’m not in a good mood it makes me feel better!

Dabi + his beautiful chubby partner pt 3

A/n Hi angel ofcourse! Im so happy you like the other ones and i hope you like this one as well! I tried my best not to repeat too much from the other ones. I love writing chubby reader fics but in the future when you guys want to request one please give me scenario cause im worried i will start repeating too much with general hcs xc

English is not my first lanuage so im sorry for any mistakes

CW dabi calls you babydoll,baby. Cursing. mention of disorderd eating (you dont actually do it) sickingly fluffy cause mans is such a simp for you as he should be

Dark content, k!¡nk and ed blogs fuck off, do not interact, leave my fics. how can I make it anymore clear that i don't want you here?

-♡this man is so head over heels in love with you its ruining his edgy villain reputation. you're on his mind constantly and he wouldn't have it any other way

-♡lets be very clear Dabi loves you for more than just your looks, I mean, it's you! You're absolutely amazing no matter what you look like.

-♡But your appearance is *chefs kiss* your pretty face, your soft arms, thick waist, squishy thighs😤 everything is so soft, and beautiful, and comforting about you. He wonders what good deed he has done in his life to be blessed by the sight of you.

-♡Your thighs are not safe around this man. He's touching them, poking them, laying on top of them, kissing them all the time, especially when you show a bit of skin.

-♡also your hugs and cuddles *faints* he just melts everytime you pull him into your arms. It's his own soft little heaven.( pls come cuddle me as well ty)

-♡you don't ever have to worry about anyone saying anything mean to you because Dabi will have turned them to ash before they could even get the words out. No one disrespects his beautiful babydoll

-♡as I said, no one disrespects his baby, so he is also not going to let you disrespect yourself. At this point he can just sense it

" I don't like my body" you mumble under your breath

*Dabi breaking down the door*

"I heard you were talking shit"

-♡Dabi is very protective, and he knows the bullshit plus size people have to endure, and how it affects them, so man needs to know that you're eating enough. Whenever he's home it's not weird for you two to start feeding eachother little bites of your meal, and if he's out he either calls you while you're eating or makes you send him pictures of your food.

-♡it may sound a bit controlling, but it's more so that he doesn't have to worry about your health and safety. Seeing you eat enough is kind of a comfort thing. He knows you're okay, you're safe, and you're caring for yourself

-♡Dabi needs you on his lap at all times. You walk past him to sit on the couch? No, you're not, he has pulled you into his lap and it is now time to cuddle.

-♡as I mentioned in my Dabi as your boyfriend fic, he really likes to dance with you, so you have to be prepared to be randomly carried bridal style or thrown over his shoulder because he decided it's the perfect time for dancing

-♡you're his beautiful, amazing, chubby partner that makes him feel so loved and safe. He adores you and he will do whatever he can to protect you from all the nasty stuff in the world.

dc blogs and that also includes if you reblog dark stuff stop interacting with me, k!nk and ed blogs do not interact you will be blocked

Thank you for reading bunnies<3

♡navigation♡ ♡Dabi masterlist♡

♡byf/dni♡

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symphorine · 10 days ago

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im playing a sword and shield warrior elf rook, nonbinary, warden, on mouse and keyboard

im about 40 hours in rn? about to enter the cauldron and ive done most side and companion quests available to me so far

- combat. im enjoying it! its dynamic and its the first time ive thought of warrior playstyle as fun in da. its the right difficulty for me, it feels rewarding. obviously subjective but its enjoyable

- weisshaupt. fun! i likes the way it was set up, making you feel the urgency and drama, then the confrontation with ghilanain. i enjoyed the boss fight, and i liked what it said abt ghilanain as well in a way. confused as to why ppl dont understand why davrin didnt die? p clearly its bc ghil absorbed the blighted sould before leaving. but now that im typing this i dont remember if the soul thing is warden knowledge or smth morrigan told us in dao...

- responsiveness to background. rly good so far! ive had quite a few warden dialogue options or even sometimes straight up interjections from rook.

- responsiveness to race. ive found that i had a fair amt of options when talking abt the gods, as an elf, though a few hiccups regarding, like, whether or not im included when ppl are like "our gods" (sometimes its fairly clear theyre not including rook). also i used a vallaslin but it seems a non vallaslin elf (so ppl playing as city elves) get the same options... which doesnt super make sense in most places ive seen them. so mixed bag there

- gender... rly good. ive had quite a few occasions to respond with rooks own nonbinary/coming out/etc experience to ppl, esp taash! and its so nice seeing trans characters?? not just the pc

- speaking of taash. gender stuff in their quest? good! cultural stuff? what. are you doing bioware

- actually this is more abt how qunari are handled. theres a few npcs around, plus taash and their mom, that seem to give a more fleshed out and diverse account... but then in general the qun is still presented as stifling and backwards and violent - bc even tho ur reminded a lot that the antaam broke away from the rest of the qun wnd they are the qunari enemies u will deal with, theres also plenty talk of conversion, how they treat mages, etc. in taash's personal quest, i could encourage them to listen to their mother or do whatever they wanted, and i was like cool but theres a pretty clear choice yknow, and its very much designated as so in their narrative. but when I hovered over the options, the "bad" path was underlined as "encourage taash to embrace qunari culture more", which was absolutely not the vibe i got? and the "good" choice was associated with encouraging that to embrace rivaini culture more. like thats such blatant bullshit. AND! a lot of dialogue with taash so far has been abt how they are BOTH! so what the hell is that about! they dont have to choose! like. no the writing is both muddling the point AND being offensive there. its a shame.

- ig irt gender thing other than how its being forcibly tied to culture its good. kinda nonbinary and trans 101 which is good for a wide public but wasnt particularly gripping for me.

- lords of fortune. meh. their outfits? bad and very heavily orientalist imo. like u can see a lot of the inspiration is just... very exotifying?? like ooh shiny riches and barely covering clothes. associated with rivain. ://///////// bad. and the worst offender - WHAT IS ISABELA WEARING. for the love of god let her have pants this isnt fucking funny. other ppl have already spoken on this but oh my god. its infuriating. also criticism applies doubly for the antaam - ur telling me theyre running around in underwear and a mask? it makes me rly uncomfortable in terms of depiction. its like. disney jungle book level imo. and if u add that to how theyre basically just ennemies and fodder for the pc to kill... man i wasn't expecting perfection but its just bad.

- oh yeah cameos from characters - not carrying over any choice other than those 3 makes all writing around them suffer imo. morrigan talks abt her mother, wouldve been great to talk abt kieran there! also the well of sorrows! but no. hawke apparently never existed for isabela or varric. and shes also mostly a set piece (as is varric) so its disappointing. the inquisitor... as far as i can tell its a repeat of hawke in dai. no personality - and i know the inquisitor already didnt have much of it, but if you hated solas you cannot have that come through at all. which sucks! forget any nuance. and its silly how theyll juuuuust not go into details about the inquisition decisions. literally harding talks abt inquisition ppl - including... sera... who u can just Not Recruit. so what does that mean bioware. obviously i love her so im not advocating for not recruiting her but like. what. makes no sense. im still mad about getting rid of decision imports it was bad and stupid. give me back my worldstate.

- yeah varric is basically just saying platitudes. he better have a point bc otherwise he should have been killed off.

- companions. i love them all tbh. i LOVE the voice acting for bellara i think its one of the best performances. ive enjoyed time with all of them and their personal storylines and im excited to have more

-banter. good imo! i do think this is a front on which inquisition did better tho, in that the relationships between companions could be more overtly fraught or antagonistic, and that made it more interesting overall. kinda miss that. but im enjoying what im getting so far still! could trigger more often

- item upgrade system. i like it. im usually not super into crafting tbh so again, subjective.

- misc: theres a lot of... handholding i guess. that i wish i could turn off. a lot of announcing that x decision will have consequences, and y thing is happening bc u made x decision. but in a lot of cases its like... it didnt need to be announced, u could let the game mechanics/narrative do the work perfectly fine. and i dont like that its announced even for the bigger stuff, especially when, again, its obvious anyway.

- i dont rly like the little varric narrations... feels in the same vein of having to. idk. make sure the player is spoon fed whats happening and knows Something Else Is Coming when its pretty clear anyway. im hoping itll have a point later in terms of. hmmmm. narrative structure? like how da2 was yh varric was actually telling. but other than that i dont like it.

- visuals. pretty. hair physics amazing. colorful and varied environments. combat can make the screen very cluttered tho

- music. varies. some parts ive rly noticed and liked but most of the time it doesnt register

- assan. adorable. i love him.

- ive actually rly been enjoying the level design! nooks and crannies to explore in maps but usually u can like, trust the design where u need to if that makes sense? like itll loop back around to bring u where u need once uve explored a part a lot of the time. things arent too far apart, even tho i do wish we could move a bit faster.

- lore things. ill wait to be done with the game for judgement there i think? by itself the elves' origin is cool. in universe + context of how bioware handles them... hmmmm idk

think thats my thoughts for now... i should sleep

can't sleep so gonna jot down some thoughts abt davg under a readmore. itll have spoilers!

#dragon age #davg #davg spoilers

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whorror-barbie · 3 years ago

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One wrong move (salesman x fem! reader) part three (final part)

Summary: uh oh, what's going to happen?

Mini series warnings: degrading, humiliation, choking, name-calling, slapping, BDSM dynamics, a salesman is an asshole in this series lol, housewife kink, smut in general, porn with little plot, blow job, vaginal sex, rough sex, there is fluff stuff this time, purposeful loose ended storyline? If that makes sense lol.dub-con disclaimer just in case. DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED, AND IF ANY OF THE WARNINGS TRIGGERS YOU, PLEASE DO NOT READ FURTHER.

A/n : what a journey lol, this has become therapeutic for me in a way. This is it for now! btw, smut is not an easy thing to write lol, but I tried.

Ps: this might be a long one, it's just pure smut. enjoy!

The salesman is standing up straight, admiring your form on the bed. He tilts his head with a smirk seeing the fear in your eyes as well as seeing the lust that is swirling around in them,very dark "now sweetheart" he gets closer and you react giving him a doe eyed look" if anything gets too rough now,you know the safe words,right?" He quirked an eyebrow, waiting for your response. " Yes,sir I do " you said. " Then tell me,pet" he said sternly. you swallow nervously, "what's he going to do to me? "You thought. " Red, yellow, green,sir" you said fast. "Aww well would you look at that, you're not so dumb after all " he said, laughing sarcastically. "Good girl" he gently pats your head which makes you shy, looking away.

"Whatever shall I do with a pretty little thing like you,maybe it's your turn to get tied up, and we'll figure it out from there,how does that sound,hmm?" His arms folded scanning out your reaction on your face.oh how he loves seeing you helpless at his whim,it makes him harder now. You nodded enthusiastically " use your fucking words, darling, I'm tired of having to repeat myself. " He's getting annoyed and it makes you more wet than you already are"just take me already!" you wanted to scream, though it stayed as a thought. " Please,do whatever you want to me, sir. I'm just a dirty whore who needs to be taught a lesson, treat me like you would a hooker on the street" you said breathlessly. "Mmmmm I like the sound of that" he said in a low satisfied voice that makes you whimper.

He went to get something out of the same dresser, grabbing more rope "turn around and put your hands behind your back" you do just that, then he expertly ties you up, giving your ass a smack. You position yourself to sit on the edge of the bed. "So tell me, sweetheart" he chuckles " what made you want to try being dominant, huh? I mean don't get me wrong,you did a great job for your first time but why exactly" he gives a warm smile that does not reach his eyes,and you proceed to chew on the inside of your mouth "just wanted to switch up is all." You make eye contact with him that you thought was convincing, of course he sees right through it "bullshit, sweetheart" he's closer now with a smile still on his face ,you are eye level with his crotch, and you get flustered.

"honestly, I dont care anymore...let's get to your punishments,shall we? I need to be inside that sweet cunt of yours" he said darkly, you react by squeezing your thighs together."I'll be right back, don't move a muscle" he walks away from you for a few minutes, then came back with a sliver suitcase. It looks familiar,yet it was way bigger than you remember. he opened it up it's a bunch of brand new sex toys and gadgets you have never seen before. And your eyes grow wide " do you just carry this briefcase with you around town or something? What if you accidentally take the wrong one" you joked with small giggle, picturing it in your mind of him opening the briefcase to his clients and it's that ,trying to hold in your laugh. He was not amused, and you gulp.

He grabs you by your hair manhandling you which causes you to lose your balance on the bed "be a good pet and shut the fuck up " he said angrily as helps you bend over so your ass in the air,you do just that, trying to adjust with your bonded arms.you can hear him looking through his suitcase "hmmm so many toys to torture you with,this is going to be so much fun" with a low tone which makes you whimper in anticipation. " oh,this will do" he said behind you. getting curious you want to turn around,but you know that's not a good idea, so you just wait for his instructions. He has a cane in his hand "start counting to ten, this will definitely hurt" then he hit you with the cane on your bottom ,and you jump in surprise. oh fuck! That hurts "....one,sir" he does it again, "...two,sir... three,sir..four,sir" with each hit, the pain gets worse everytime. your makeup is for sure ruined at this point from the tears." Doing so well,baby.better than I thought, almost there" he praise you.

With the final hit "......ten,sir" you toughen it out . It was pretty painful, but you loved every minute of it. A smirk plastered on his face satisfied with his work he then man handles you again grabbing by the hair,you moan out as he flips you on your back with your arms still in the back of you." How is she feeling huh? . He asked " I'm green, sir" looking at you with ruined make up,just love this sight ." Good fucking whore " he said. "Hmm what else should I do to my personal hooker, huh? " he said darkly with a smirk.

He pulls out nipple clamps and a vibrator from the suitcase, Placing the objects on the on the bed. you were a bit confused yet a little nervous at the same time. his attention is back on you ,riping your thong off with your garter belt and knee socks still on. He takes off his clothes until he's down to his grey boxer briefs, admiring him. No Matter how many times you see his toned body,you always get flustered. " Like what you see, sweetheart?" Titling his head with a smirk. " Oh yes I do, sir!" Licking your lips with lust. Then he Angrily grabbed you by the neck,he just wants to see you struggle for a second, this man really is sadist. "you look so pretty like this" you grasp for air, then he lets go. He chuckles darkly after that two faced moment, he grabs the clamps, placing them one by one on your sensitive nipples and you holler in pain. " How are you feeling? still green?" you nodded trying to hold in a breath, giving him the go head then he turns on the vibrator to the highest setting.

He put the vibrator on your clit, "oh fuck yes,..yes..yes.." you start squirming like a worm. The pain of the nipple clamps then the feeling of the vibrator was such an interesting sensation with a perfect balance of pain and pleasure. The salesman is beating off with his left hand as he's holding the vibrator in his right, you came twice now, you are losing your mind. watching you overstimulated under him. He can't take it anymore, so he moves his cock to your entrance then starts to enter slowly. You both let out a sigh as he continues to enter into you." ah,shit!" He said sheathing all the way into you, almost forgetting the vibrator in his hand. he's moving in and out of you at a slow pace.the vibrator,the nipple clamp,his cock was too much " ooooh! Sir YEEEES oooo fuck!" Giving innocent look which makes him pick up the pace. He drops the vibrator and removing the clamps off your breasts, you moan out then he goes to grab your hips to proceed to fuck you hard. Watching himself going in and out of your tight pussy. "This is some good pussy" he grunts seductively; you pathetically moan in reaction. You love seem him lose control inside of you. he goes to suck on your really sensitive nipples playing with your tits, making eye contact with you as he’s destroying your walls. the contrast of him being gentle on your boobs yet rough on your pussy makes you go insane.’’oh fuck sir!’

He pulls out for a second to grab you by the hair now on your knees with your hands still bond to your back" open that pretty mouth" opening your mouth,he shoves it in tasting the mixture of both of you as he fuck your face. He reaches for red lipstick from his bdsm suitcase to write on your forehead." W...h.."he grunts as you deep throat him trying to make him mess up on purpose "...o..r..e. whore! that exactly what you are". Continues to face fuck you, "mmmm fuck that mouth does wonders,baby " you breath through your nose as you are sucking him off like you were trying to suck a piece of fruit through a straw, he grunts’’ damn, have you been practicing because oh fuck’’ you moan on him, he takes over your head to go deeper in your throat .then he pulls out once again, and he slaps you in the face with his cock pretty hard a couple of times as you look up at him with doll eyes. " Fuck,I'm not done with that pussy" so he roughly grabs you to turn you around with your ass facing him.

He puts his face in your ass to taste how sweet you are. "Mmm taste like Christmas, sweetheart" giving you a gentle slap on your bottom as he chuckles, then he shoves himself right in causing you to jolt your body forward alittle bit. he doesn't go easy on From the start, his big thick cock going in and out of your walls as you squeeze him " how is it possible that you get tighter than you already are,fuck! " Looking down at your ass, ‘mmm and i fucking love this view, this ass was made for this position’’ squeezing your cheeks together. The rooms fill with echo of moaning, grunting and cheeks clapping loud in the air then throws his head up grunting "oh yeahs"and "oh fucks". it sound so pornographic that it taking you over the edge. You are about to cum around him. "Wait, pet I'm almost there you can hold it" he said breathlessly. You try your hardest.why is he doing this to you now? " Please sir, I need to cum, I have to c-cum". He grabs your waist, start to really ram into you violently,ass bouncing against his pelvic loudly, your mind goes dumb, you can't process this pace . Knocking stuff over on the bed,he doesn't care he's trying to chase his own release. this was so cruel,but luckily for you his pace was becoming irregular which means he's almost there" cum inside me, sir" you whimper pathetically,he grunted at that" I'm about to cum,get ready" he said losing it. "Now! " you both cum together and he cums deep in your walls. Still inside of you as you untie the rope as. It feel good to be able to move your arms again.he pulls out going soft, and is out of breath. looking at each other as you both calm down from the high. he goes in for a deep kiss, it was hot make out session for a split second then he pull away.

He leaves and comes back with a towel to clean your make up." You did such a good job for me today, sweetheart" he gives you a kind smile and clean you up alittle bit. You returned a smile back. You love this caring side of him. "do you need anything? Ice cream maybe? " He said sweetly. " I need water" you said pointing at your throat, left the room to get some water and came back with a glass " thanks" you drink some water. looking at your hickey visible on your neck" babe, why did you do this? we have to visit the next door neighbors for a party tomorrow" you giggle, he joins in. " It will be ok,they will just know that we are freaky people,beside I'm pretty sure they can hear us. you're not exactly quiet" he chuckles at you blushing. "You wanna hop in the shower with me,baby?" Of course you said yes " oh and can we cuddle up and watch Netflix, there is this zombie film I want to watch" he rolls his eyes playful with a smile" you and those zombie films lately, you're going to have nightmares" looking at you.

"Well that's why you are here to protect me" you pout and he agrees with petting your head still smiling. You both going into the bathroom together. You didn't now what this relationship was or even if it was one at all really. you know that you love him, he does too. Maybe this can go farther than the arrangement possible?

The end:)

#the salesman #salesman x y/n #salesman imagines #salesman x reader #gong yoo #squid game smut #the salesman x reader

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wooahaes · 2 years ago

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sorry this is two parts w like. idk more nsfw-related stuff under a cut? i don’t write smut here (i’d consider it for another sideblog but eh, i def wouldn’t be as active there bc sometimes trauma shit hits hard when it comes to that sort of thing--literally just depends on the day), but yeah i consume it sometimes lmao

i... genuinely think i try to skip a fic every time it doesnt contain warnings at all. like you don’t have to have a setup like i do and like other writers do where we have a word count and a warnings thing + what the pairing is, that’s fine? but like. come on. at least put some warnings on your fic if you know there’s potentially something triggering there. not all triggers make sense and can be preemptively warned for, but the least you can do is warn for the bigger ones. that’s for both sfw works and for smut. like: a lot of writers do! a lot of writers do warn for shit, and i appreciate them a lot. but idk i guess some people want to just get straight into their writing and while i get it, i think that can be extremely harmful if you know your fic has something triggering in it.

i’ve seen people argue about trigger warnings before because of the whole “the real world won’t hold your hand” thing but that’s bullshit. p*r*site is one of my favorite movies and i watched it in a class for the first time and one of my friends went out of their way to tell me that there’s an uncomfortable sex scene in it bc they knew it could fuck me up depending on the day. people i know will go out of their way to give a heads up for things. i’ve suggested movies to people i don’t know well and said “oh, shit, btw, huge trigger warning for (x)” because it’s a triggering subject and i don’t want anyone to suffer as a result. websites exist to warn people about shit. and even offline, there’s those things vets put in their yards around fourth of july because the sound of fireworks can be triggering to them. anyone who says that the “real world won’t hold your hand” is a dick who just wants an excuse to not care for others imo.

anyway fat girl rant under the cut specifically (nsfw warning in general for the topic bc god its abt smut. sorry gamers. minors dni with that part or ur getting blocked if u say anything)

idk what to call them other than a bulge kink but if thats wrong then my b. idk they feel... a liiiil assuming that reader is skinny? that u can see a bulge from where a dick is inside someone? bc there’s nothing in front of it (i.e. fat)? idk man fucking warn for that shit because it automatically sends up the red flag of “ohhh readers skinny...” for me every time i stumble across it w/o any warning. like idk if any other chubby writers wanna weigh in on that, feel free to? i just tend to look at myself and see my chub and im like. yeah theres no way ur seeing ur dick bulge out unless ur super fucking hung and if u are then i am afraid for me.

also sorry these arent really put together lmao im literally just talking at this point. i used up the brain power w the “include warnings” part.

idk i think... a lot of smut just assumes reader is thin, moreso than sfw stuff. ik ive spoken w someone abt this (i wont @ her since idk if she wants that) but like. the whole “jump and ill carry you” thing feels like we’ve been conditioned to find it hot and all i can think about is the fact that i don’t think it’d ever work unless the person’s fucking ripped. do u think ming/hao from s//v//t can lift my ass? no. id break him like a fuckin twig probably.

i dont have an actual ending for this bc admittedly im tired. sorry to ming//hao for saying the truth that id break u </3

#wooahaes.txt

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the-midnight-slasher-official · 4 years ago

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vincent sinclair-breeding

WARNING: SMUT. FORCED BREEDING. LYING

you have been in ambrose for awhile now. You cant really remember your life before ambrose. Your positive no one remembers you and or misses you. Yes bo is a huge asshole to you, and vincent is always your saving grace when bo is in a shitty mood. and lester would also be a huge saving grace as well, but hes always away doing god knows what.

Bo was huge on killing you because he didnt see any potential in you. but vincent wanted to keep you, and lester liked having you around also. So bo let you stay with vincent. Bo made it clear that your vincents pet and that your vincents problem. If anything bad happens to you vincent would be cleaning up the mess and dealing with your body. But vincent would never let anything bad happen to you. He always keeps you by his side and never lets you out of his sight.

He fell too deep in love to let you out of his sight let alone going to the bathroom. Vincent absolutely hated it when you sneak out of the room at night. He was extremely paranoid that you would leave the house and run away, and tonight just happened to be one of those nights. you were currently laying in Vincent and yours shared bed. you were locked in the bedroom in the house while Vincent worked away in the house of wax. you couldnt escape through the window because he had bo bolt it shut. you stared up at the ceiling determining whether you hated vincent or not. He kept you trapped here, and would never let you leave his side. But you deep down were very in love him, and you tried to hate him because you couldnt ever deal with the rejection from him.

while you were thinking away your worries and anxiety in the bed at 2:23 am. Vincent was also busy thinking about his worries and anxieties while he was drawing in his wax cave under the house of wax. He stopped drawing a long time ago because he began to focus on the thought of you leaving while he was trying to draw, and now thats all he can think about. So he sat at his desk and thought really hard about what could make you willingly stay without him having to force it upon you. his biggest turn on's he had with you was your size. you were smaller than him and he found that cute and a huge turn on.

He wanted to take good care of you and give you flowers and give you baths. but he already does that. he already gives you a roof over your head and feeds you three times a day, and gives you baths and every morning he gives you flowers. But he also went to bo for advice on how to keep you close, and of course bo being bo said that he doesnt give a shit about what vincent does with you because your not his problem. But bo did suggest getting you pregnant so you could stay with vincent and it would also give him an opportunity to show you that he can treat you well even when your pregnant and be a good father to the child.

Vincent thought long and hard while he sat at his desk. And he chose that he will get you pregnant so you could stay close to him and rely on him. He wants to do it out of love. Because he loves you dearly. he loves you so much that hes willing to kill his own siblings that hurt you in any way or form. He huffed out of exhaustion and closed his sketch book and cleaned everything up, and shut off all the lights. He headed through the tunnels and made his way up to the trap door that opens to a room in the house. he opened the trap door and hoisted himself up out of it and walked through the house to get to his room.

he opened the door to your and his shared and room and noticed that the light was quickly shut off and you quickly got into a fake sleeping position. he sighed and closed the door and kicked off his boots. he walked over to the bed while taking off his wax covered apron and tapped your shoulder. you got scared and jerked and looked up at him, not expecting him to touch you in any way or form.

"what where you still doing up?" he signed to you.

"i was asleep" you said fake yawning.

"bullshit" he signed.

you rolled over facing away from his side of the bed. vincent got into comfy clothes and slid into bed and put an arm around you and played with your hair until you actually fell asleep. a few hours later you woke up and had to go to the bathroom but vincents hand was wrapped around your waist. you knew he hated it when you left the room at night. but you had to pee very badly.

you very carefully moved his arm and slid out of bed. occasionally looking behind you to make sure that hes still asleep. you looked over at his night stand and seen his mask. It made your heart melt and you smile. He was confident enough to take off his mask around you. you looked at the ground and seen his discarded clothes, and that kinda turned you on a little bit, and you looked at him and seen that he was wearing plaid boxers and a korn shirt. his long hair was all over the pillows, and his body was wrapped up on the sheets. you admired one of his strong arms behind his head.

you quickly turned around and tip toed to the door. you quietly turned the knob and realized that he locked it. you felt stupid for forgetting that he locks the door at night as well. you tip toed to his nightstand and opened the little drawer it had and grabbed the key. He doesnt know that you knew the key was in there. you walked back to the door and quietly unlocked it and went to the bathroom. after going to the bathroom you walked back to the room. you stepped into the door way and seen vincent still sleeping. so you took this advantage to go downstairs and get a glass of water since you didnt get a glass before bed.

you walked pass a sleeping lester on the couch to get to the kitchen. you didnt want to wake him up either. not that he would hurt you or drag you back upstairs. you just didnt wanna wake him up from his dream. he looked extremely exhausted. you went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass and opened the fridge to get some fresh filtered cold water. you filled the glass, and took a few huge chugs. you walked passed lester again asleep on the couch and you noticed the front door. sure vincent would be awake for awhile. so you stepped out onto the front porch to have fresh air. and you didnt realize that you were out there for more than ten minutes.

you heard a noise and turned around and seen vincent fuming angry behind you. he was breathing heavy and his eye brows were furrowed. he grabbbed your arm and pulled you through the front door. he dragged you up the stairs while thinking about what to do with you. because you just flared up his paranoia about you leaving. as he reached the top of the stairs, he picked you up and carried you to the room. he set you on the bed and grabbed the key out of your pocket and locked the door. he angrily slammed the key on the dresser. he looked at you wondering what to do.

he thought about what bo said. But he wanted to do it out of love when you were ready and not force. But he realized that he had to get you pregnant in order for you to stay with him. Besides he really wants a kid with you, but he knows that you dont want any with him, at least he doesnt think.

you deep down wanted his kids but you never said anything to him. He stared at you while he thought about how to deal with this, but knocking you up seemed to be the only thing on his mind. fuck he wanted you to have his kids. he walked over to you and pushed you down into the bed.

"vincent. i wasnt trying to leave, i promise. i was just getting fresh air" you said. but he shut you up by kissing you. and lifting you shirt. you swatted vincents hand away. but he slid his hand right under your shirt and groped your chest. the small moan you made was all vincent needed to continue. he roughly slid off your pajama pants and stood back up admiring the way you looked so small and vulnerable for him. he loved how you were so much smaller than him. that makes him feel more confident. He bent down and kissed you passionately. he unbuttoned the crotch area of his pajama pants and took his cock out, without taking off the pants. and he plunged into your soaking wet cunt.

he began at a fast angry pace.

"v-vincent" you groaned. he only thrusted faster. grabbing your thighs and pushing them to your chest as he leans over you and pounds you into the mattress. after awhile he reached down to your cunt and began to rub your swollen nub. making you scream in ecstasy. when he thinks you've squirted enough, he pulled out and signed for your to get on your knees. once you did, he signed for you to open your mouth. you opened your mouth and he grabbed his cock and slid in. throwing his head back as he began to fuck your mouth like he did your pussy. pre cum and spit began to drool out the sides of your mouth and hit the floor and run down your chest. his wet balls were smacking against your chin. every moan you make, made him shove his big hard cock deeper down your throat.

after a few minutes of the wet sounds of his cock balls deep down your throat. he pulled out and laid you down on the bed with your head hanging off the end and he slammed his cock back down your throat. he absolutely loved the way his cock made your throat bulge. he wrapped his hand around your throat feeling the way his cock pumped in and out. he quickened his pace and you felt his balls smack your face over and over. you gagged out pre cum and drool out of your mouth around his cock. he slowed down just to hear the pre cum and drool hit the floor.

he pulled out and flipped you back around facing him and he plunged back in full force making you scream. he fucked you faster than ever before making you see stars. the only sounds filling the room was his balls smacking your ass and your loud moans. he looked down at you signed

"do you want my kids babygirl?"

"yes. yes please. i want your kids so fucking bad. knock me up good baby" you moaned. and that was enough for him to bury his cock deep in your sopping cunt and shoot his seed. he then leaned down and kissed you deeply.

"i love you" he signed.

"i love you too vincent" you said as your forehead pressed against his. he looked surprised that you said that you loved him. but kissed you deeply shoving his tongue down your throat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the next morning you walked down the stairs and seen bo and lester staring at you and vincent. you blushed and vincent held the small of your back as he walked with you to the kitchen. he sat you down at the table and went to the fridge to get you something. you know they heard you and vincent last night.

"fuck loud enough?" bo said shooting you both a dirty look.

"fuck off" vincent signed.

#vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair smut #bo sinclair #lester sinclair

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mrstsung · 2 years ago

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Comfort character asks: Raiden mk edition:

1. how long have i known about them: omg I've been a mk fan since baby nerd days. In my teens. Raiden was my go to man besides kung lao. They are THE BOIS ok? Like kung lao was my main dude,still is but lao was more of an all around i just love him ok?. But raiden was A HEARTTHROB CUTIE for me. But he also became my comfort too. (Shang was my fave og baddie and he will always be that one bih but this aint about him rn)

2. whether or not they’ve ever made me cry: ok several times. Like why can't y'all be nice to him? What did he ever do but help the best he could. The elder gods are assholes and none of y'all are grateful. That's why he turned dark in that one timeline. Because of Y'ALL! So if you want happy raiden? Put some respect on his name! Makes me cry. He needs a hug and a long ass vacation. Thats why fujin is here to help. Because y'all he broke his back for you. Ungrateful asses.

3. whether or not i have any merchandise/objects with them: i want some. But a bih is broke.

4. what about their personality i like: ok ok look we have so many interpretations of him. But for me? My take on raiden? His comforting presence,his wisdom,his compassion. Lord his PATIENCE! like damn

5. what about their backstory makes me emotional: his burdens. Omfg raiden plz let fujin help! Good lord raiden plz hunny sit down and relax in a hot spring! Raiden doesn't deserve this shit.

6. the moment of theirs that made me the saddest: any death or falling. Like i don't care for dark raiden (but i dont blame him either ya know) it's more just too sad for me to like this universe of raiden.

7. the moment of theirs that made me the happiest: when he finally gets a fucking break. Come here rai,i got you.

8. something about them that made me laugh: omg raiden pulling cheeky banter is the best. Because its so sassy but dry. Like how? Only he can pull this off.

9. my favorite canon outfit of theirs: honestly raiden looks cool in all his outfits. Do i have to pick?

10. my favorite moment with them in canon: ok look my brain isn't capable of retaining info like that well. But honestly any fight with him and shang is epic or him fighting shao khan (tho sadly they make him so weak sauce when fighting shao khan compared to shang tsung. And shangs pretty tough. And it doesn't feel fair and is bias af)

11. my favorite relationship they have with another character: eh i love his big brotherly vibe with his bro fujin. But his mentorship with kung lao and liu kang is wholesome too. Honestly him just being big bro to everyone is nice. 💖

12. what i like about the way the fandom portrays them: eh i guess i like it when the fans can actually write him domestic and do it without being boring or stiff. But i haven't seen many good portrayals yet. Only a few. But i will say. I loooooove when people talk about the temple and describe the interior. Like they do other things so well but people be lacking in the character development part.

13. what i dont like about the way the fandom portrays them: they make him too stiff. Now raiden is responsible,wise,and a bit more stern than his brother. But he isn't emotionless,monotonous or harsh. Is he a bit tsundere? A tiny bit,at first or for a small sec. But it never lasts long. He'll let loose more easier. Unlike a certain shirai ryu we all know n love. Raiden just gets flustered easy. But he welcomes it at the same time? Compassion and his connection with humanity is his #1 trait. Remember that. Him and fujin are similar but the key difference is,rai has a few more notches under his belt and had to take on more bullshit than his brother emotionally. Rai gets overburdened easy. So thats why fujin it there to help carry said burdens. They go hand n hand. Just like the mythos. Where there is thunder n lightning there is wind. And where they are. A storm brews. And after the storm? Peace,calm,and life giving energy n water. (Sorry to get all zen and philosophical on you guys)

14. what i liked about the way canon portrayed them: He did gets some oomf to him. But i dunno. Canon has been weird to raiden. Also unfair too. So i dunno really.

15. what i dont like about the way canon portrayed them: well i already mentioned above and in other posts i don't care for dark raiden. So other than that i got nothing else. Fans are more of an issue if anything. But even then its whatever.

💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙⚡💙

The op deactivated. So i found another source post/reblog. Apologies.

Linking because i wanna fill a blank one,but wanna credit too?

#mortal kombat #raiden #raiden mk #raiden mortal kombat #comfort character #he's both a comfort character and self ship character too #i have many faves ok? i can't pick one #don't worry the shang tsimpin will return just let me love this thunder god for a little while

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kaz11283 · 4 years ago

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Love Never Wins

Summary: Words will be said but do you really think either one of you mean them. Sometimes actions speak louder.

Warnings: slight angst

Characters: Loki, Thor, Y/n, Clint, avengers in the background here and there

Loki x you, Thor x you (platonic), Clint x you (brother,sister)

ANNOUNCEMENT: Not going to lie. This was going to be a simple short sweet straight to the point drabble but it turned into such a looooong one shot (i guess) I was in a good head space wgile writing this and just couldnt stop really. But it is something that I am very proud of.

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: I've had to make this a simple 2 part. I got way to carried away with everything in it!

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's going on with you?" You yelled as you grabbed Loki by the arm pulling him away from the girl who was obviously flirting with him and he with her.

"What are you talking about? We were talking." He yelled back.

"You were flirting Loki in front of everyone! Openly! Don't play me for the fool you think I am. You've been off lately. Not around as much, zoning out when we finally have some time together. If there's something you want to say tell me now." You felt the tears rush to your eyes. You had seen all the signs, hell you were an expert at the signs. Multiple boyfriends had given you the signs before but for some reason you though that maybe, just maybe, he was diffrent.

"I just feel like we've grown apart in the last few months y/n. I don't think I can do this anymore." he said simply.

"You said I brought out the best side of you, that I was the love of your life." You said tears streaming down your face now, to hell with the makeup you was wearing you wasn't going back to the party anyways.

"You're not." He stated simply clenching his jaw.

"Ok fine. It's not the first time I've been broken up with. Just the first time that I had ever put so much into someone that I truly did see a future with just to have my heart completely ripped out in front of me. You got me good this time trickster. Don't think I'll be able to fully recover from this one." You spat back at him before turning to head up stairs to your room that the two of you had shared for so long.

Luckily Tony hadn't done anything to the room you had once occupied on a lower level of the tower so you easily moved all of your clothing back into there in a matter of no time. You weren't use to the feeling of being alone but thats all you wanted right now for the rest of your life. The god of tricks had ruined other men for you, he had once shown you love like you had never felt, and now your heart broke like it had never broke before.

"Hey sis, noticed you weren't- oh god what did he do?" Clint asked walking into your room. "Knew something was up. I could feel it."

"Hawk stop with the twin shit, its creepy." You huffed whipping your eyes on the back your long sleeve hoodie.

"What happened? All I know is you two disappeared, he came back, you didn't, and he said I should probably find you in your old room." He sat down next to you.

"We broke up. Easy as that. Ya know I never understood why they say not to date your co workers till today." You shrugged turning to him. "When we first got together you hated it-"

"To be fair he did brainwash me."

"I didn't say you didn't have a right. We kept it from you for a while though. But we hadn't been together long, Hawk, I thought he was diffrent from any man I ever dated-"

"Well he is a god, kinda different."

"Would you shut up so I can vent just for a little bit then you can go back to the party."

"Na, parties lame anyways, I was thinking about hanging out here for a little bit." He said kicking his shoes off and proping his feet on the coffee table throwing his arms across the back of the couch.

"Whatever," you rolled your eyes as you snuggled into your brother. "He was so kind, gentle, he was paciant with me. He knew that me and you were close and he didnt wamt to get in the way of that. He wanted us to be closer than he and Thor was. I think it helped him realize just how important family is when you only have each other. We kept it a secret for so long though." You pulled the hood up closer to your face. You didn't want to admit to yourself but you had kept the jacket because it still smelled like him.

"Nat seen the two of you making out in the hall weeks before you told anyone by the way." He laughed pulling you closer to him. " I didnt say anything though because I knew you would tell me when you were comfortable with it."

"I love him so much and he played me. Completely tricked me into these feelings that I dont think will ever change." You sobbed wrapping your arms around his waist, he through his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer.

"Hes a dick with a god complex. Hes not good enough for you at all. Coming from a brother, a twin brothers point of view, I think you could do better. All is fair in love and war, but dont put it past me to be a little rougher on him during training, and I wont point anything out if you happen to let some bad guy kill him on the field." He said kissing the top of your head.

"Hawk, you know I'm not like that. I habe a reputation to up hold." You said slapping his arm before pulling away. "If you wanna stay theres still some of your sweats that I stole in the bedroom and ice cream in the freezer, but your sleeping on the couch. Its been since we were kids that we shared a bed but I bet you still kick."

~~~~

A few weeks had passed since you and Loki had called it quites. You had been mainly staying in your room trying not to cause any uncomfortable silence if you and Loki wede in the same room. On one occasion when you had ventured out to the living room you seen Loki holding an icepack to his eye and a busted lip, your first instinct was to rush over and make sure he was ok but instead you turned and took a seat between Thor and Clint.

"Lady Y/n, as always your peresnts lights up the room. We just havent been seeing much of it as of late." Thor greeted you with a warm smile throwing his huge arm ober your shoulder, making you look smaller than you already was.

"No more gods." Clint mumbled beside you.

"Thor is just a friend. One of the best I have." You laughed. "What happened?" Nodding toward Loki.

"Payback." He shrugged.

"Ah yes, it turns out Loki is not very good at hand to hand combat unles he is able to use his magic." Thor laughed. "I always tried to get him to train with me but he never did, turns out he probably should have."

"Oh for god sakes I'm right here and you three are not really whispering. I shouldn't have to learn hand to hand combat I have my sedair! I'm assuming it was just your brothers idea so that he could get back at me." He yelled.

"And you forget that there could come a time when you might need hand to hand. I told you many times that you needed to train but no mister 'I'm Loki prince of Asguard, burdened with glorious purpose', mister I have my magic. Bullshit. Your just sour because a mear mortal bested you at something. Grow a pair and learn how to actually fight." You jumped up. You had finally snapped. It had been coming tough sitting in you waiting for the right, or wrong, time to show up.

"You watch your tone!" He shouted jumping up. "I know how to fight better than half the people in here." Clint and Thor slowly stood watching the scene in front of them neither one know what to do.

"You know how to use your pixie dust to make things happen! Well guess what tinker bell this aint Neverland. We get in weird predicaments all the time you never know what to expect." You yelled back. "Hell Loki, your probably so bad at hand to hand even I could beat you."

"Oh your on. Training room, 30mins. That is unless your scared?" He said giving you a mischievous smirk.

"Trust and believe I'm not afraid of you by any means. No weponds, no sedair strictly hand to hand." You said turning on your heel to walk to your room to get ready leaving Clint and Thor standing alone in the living room aww struck.

"So what do we do?" Clint finally asked.

"Well of course we have to stop this. It will not end very well." Thor answered.

"So tell the others?"

"Yes you tell the others I will get refreshments for the battle." They took off in seprate directions.

#loki and thor #loki avengers #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki x reader #loki daily #loki #loki angst #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki fandom #loki x y/n

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sxvxrxssnape · 4 years ago

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severus' sixty-first birthday

- minerva sends severus a birthday card every year and though she doesn't sign it or return address it, he knows they're from her. they worked together for years, he recognizes her handwriting

- he's not entirely sure how she found his address but maybe owls are just that good at tracking people. still, she never asks to see him or mentions how the rest of the wizarding world has long thought he's dead

- at this point, he opens his kitchen window in the morning and watches the sun peaking over the horizon as it starts to rise, sipping on his coffee, as he waits for the letter to arrive

- he'll read through it, smiling softly (though he wonders about the part where she mentions a gift on the way. shes never sent anything more than a card) before tucking the card away with all the others. he'll get dressed then and then walk into town. it's a quiet place where he's chosen to live and he's made friendly with a number of people and sometimes he misses the vibrancy of the wizarding world and the comaderie of being a hogwarts professor but that atmosphere had long fizzled out and going back would never truly mean going back. he's moved on and he's fine with that

- he prefers early morning to get the shopping done. it's less crowded and the world feels untouched, pure and magical, at this hour. he'll stop at the local bakery, buy himself a pastry and another cup of coffee, savoring sweet almond and blueberry, before continuing to the grocery store and picking up the few things he needs for tonight's dinner

- its his 61st birthday today and though he doesn't want to make a big deal out of his birthday, he's learned that it's okay to celebrate your own existence and indulge in the things that make him happy

- as it stands, a well made shepherds pie with good bread and red wine would make him very happy today

- his grocery tote is charmed to keep cool and feather light, so after gathering what he needs he'll head to the bookshop. this is one of his favorite activities and absolutely not reserved for his birthday. his favorite bookshop is old and quaint, hosting strange books with mysterious origins. a lot of the locals think its all false but severus has a trained eye and can recognize magical tombs when he sees them. the first time he came, he cleared out any that could be considered dangerous to muggles. now he likes to browse through the remains and pick up a new read or two; they're not all magical but they are all interesting. the shopkeeper is a very old woman who looks very out of place in this millennium, but he supposes he does too some days

- she wishes him a happy birthday, eyeing his black coat with a certain kind of scrutiny he's gotten used to from her. he was never able to give up his long coats and now he wears them unbuttoned over black turtlenecks. it makes him look less imposing, he supposes, although enough people have asked what he teaches that it sets him on edge

- he doesn't remember when she learned his birthday, but he pays it no mind. a few of the people he's come across here have learned his birthday by now. its the reason he'll get a free scoop of ice cream on his way home. she always looks at him like he's familiar but just can't place how, and part of him worries she's going barmy and starting to forget he's been coming here for years

- as he's paying for the two new books he's found, she says something that feels like its meant to be a warning but feels more like a threat: the aurors are in town today

- "pardon?" he asks, but she just smiles sweetly and waves him off like nothing was amiss, as if his blood hadn't just turned to ice beneath his skin

- he leaves the shop numbly, thinking it over. she couldnt have meant anything serious by it, although now he's kicking himself for not realizing she was a witch (or perhaps a squib?) he kept up with the wizarding world fairly regularly when he'd first disappeared. he knew potter had cleared his name posthumously and that he was hailed a hero, so whatever the reason for the aurors being in town, it has nothing to do with him. he decides to carry on as normal; too many years have passed for him to be known by this new generation of aurors.

- he does get his free ice cream, a scoop of vanilla caramel with a drizzle of chocolate, and he's sitting in a wrought iron chair outside the shop, under a carefully cast warming charm to keep him comfortable in the january air but with a cooling charm cast over his frozen treat, when he sees them

- there's two of them, fairly young and most likely born during the second war. they're dressed in the muggle version of their uniform he's come to recognize and watches them from his peripheral as they head down the street and wonders what they could be in town for

- he doesn't notice the third, older auror watching him with widening eyes, no longer paranoid enough to check who's standing behind him, as he swirls his spoon through the remnants of melted ice cream and gets lost in his thoughts

- he heads home after that, lights a fire, and makes a tomato and cheese sandwich for lunch. he catches up on a few episodes of his current favorite show (a historical drama this time) and enjoys his quiet afternoon

- when its time to start on dinner, he'll put something on the record player (he's got a soft spot for the record player alright, he's aware of what spotify is, he just enjoys the nostalgia of vinyl), and get to work. he's got a glass of wine and he's singing along to pearl jam as he cuts carrots and potatoes

- he grows wild thyme and rosemary in the front yard, right next to the white chrysanthemums, so he puts his spoon down and goes to fetch some

- he doesn't expect to find potter standing just outside the gate with a pink bakery box in his hands looking simultaneously like a deer in the headlights and like he's just seen a ghost. which he supposes he has

- he ignores him in favor of picking the herbs. once he's done, he glances once in the direction of harry potter before returning inside. he leaves the door open and waits. it isn't until the herbs are washed and finely chopped, being stirred into the stew, that potter finally enters the kitchen. he holds the box tightly and blurts out "i thought you were dead"

- "evidently not." severus responds, spooning the mix into a baking dish and begins to top it with the mashed potatoes. "how did you find me?"

- he mutters some nonsense of working a case involving a local store selling magical wares to muggles (and severus frowns at this information, worried it might be imelda) and seeing him outside the ice cream shop. getting his address wasn't that hard and the cake he brought was simply a social nicety

- perhaps he hasn't been a professor for years now but he can still smell bullshit so he raises an eyebrow at the answer he's gotten. potter has grown in the years since he's seen him, no longer a strong-willed seventeen year old but now a tired looking auror of forty who's still just as bad at lying as he ever was. he thinks how he was around his age when they last spoke and that fact feels a little dizzying

- "you dont seem that surprised." severus muses, putting the pie in the oven and bringing down another glass. he has a feeling potter will be staying and the idea is already giving him headache. he thinks back to minervas letter and wonders if this is what she meant. perhaps its time to finally write back, he thinks, as he pours them each some wine; they have a lot to talk about it seems

#this was meant to be a plotless one shot but i never found the time to write it so have the bullet point version instead #snapedom #pro snape #severus snape #snape lives #current snape #harry potter #minerva mcgonagall

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prongssmrrcury · 3 years ago

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a very bleak christmas

wolfstar fic /// one shot

word count ( 6.2k ITS LONG SORRY)

fluff, not much smut

this turned out awfully long IM SORRY😭 having that said i hope you enjoy <33 ily mwahh

"you ready wormy?" james said, shutting his trunk and looking at his bed and around the dormitory to make sure hasnt forgotten anything. he looked over at the shorter boy with sandy coloured hair who was bending down apparently trying to get something he dropped from under the bed, but struggling a great deal. he nervously shot his head up giving james a weak smile and said "yes, im ready, i just dropped something here im not sure what-"

"just tell moony to fetch it for you while we're away" james said and peter just agreed and left the dormitory trailing after james with his trunk, shutting the door on his way. the gryffindor common room was emptier than usual, but the fireplace was lit with a couple of people huddling around it to shield themselves from the ruthless cold of december. despite this however, peoples spirits were as light as ever as almost everyone was departing for two weeks to spend christmas with their families, even lily evans stopped rolling her eyes every time james breathed, and started spending more time with him and ( to james' great delight) enjoying his company. speaking of lily, she was standing by the fireplace with her hair up in a ponytail with a furry winter cap on her head. james noticed her at once and made his way down the flight of stairs and tapped her shoulder softly, she turned around and gave him a warm smile, a short hug followed.

"happy holidays james!" she smiled so widely it watered james' eye. she called him james, not potter.

"happy holidays" he managed to respond, taken aback by the sudden affection she just showed him. she looked around furrowing her brows slightly then spoke, "wheres your trunk? have you not packed?"

"oh no i have! i left my trunk with peter to um, you know, come and say hi" he said the second part of the sentence quietly, she let out a soft laugh, god he just wanted to kiss her so bad. "wheres yours?" he asked quickly. she turned around slightly to show him her trunk which was standing behind her, tapping it twice.

"alright then, lets go down to breakfast, minnie wouldnt want us to be late" he told her, taking her hand and leading her out of the common room with him. he looked back at peter who was struggling with his own trunk and james' but peter just shot him a thumbs up as if he got everything under control.

"alright wormy, dont be late" he muttered. the pair of them walked down from the gryffindor tower to the entrance hall and right to the great hall where elaborate christmas decorations were encapsulating the place, giving the entire castle a more homey vibe. the four house tables were emptier than usual, james and lily made their way to the gryffindor table where they were met by a handsome boy with long hair that he managed to scruff in a very messy pony tail, and a taller boy sitting across him who seemed to find his buttering his toast to be a very intriguing activity. lily and james took seats next to them.

"morning" sirius spoke, looking at lily then at james.

"morning sirius, how are you" lily replied, who also began buttering her toast. sirius didnt respond right away, instead he eyed her then finally spoke, "oh im, im very good" it didnt really seem like it, sirius didnt seem to be in his loud, arrogant and flirtatious mood today, instead a rather dull and quiet one. lily looked at james silently trying to understand what had caused the sudden change in sirius behavior, she was met a mere shrug from james. the four of them sat in silence for the next ten minutes, no one breaking silence that seemed to have swallowed them. remus then looked up for the first time and sighed loudly, which made sirius look very attentively at him, waiting for him to say anything.

"im gonna go, im in the dorm if you want me pads. enjoy your holidays james, you too lily" he said lowly, also clearly in a dull mood in contrast to everyones mood right now. he got up and left, shooting them a weak smile before disappearing out of the great hall.

sirius watched him so closely even when he had gotten out of sight. it was common knowledge that the pair are in love and clearly fancied each other, almost everyone in school knew that. maybe its because of sirius' shameless attitude, cuddling with remus in the common room, sitting on his lap in the middle of the great hall, or pushing remus against a wall and just stand in front of him doing god knows what. the only problem was... neither sirius nor remus knew they liked each other. they obviously knew they had a different relationship than anyone else but they were so oblivious to the fact that theyre in love that it sometimes made james just want to scream it in their face.

"you okay pads?" james said mockingly, sirius had been staring at where remus left for at least ten minutes completely transfixed, he came back to his senses at once and looking abruptly between james and lily then back at his doughnut, fiddling with it slightly. he then shot james an alarmed look and said, "dont call me that james". he spoke so firmly, he knew james knew this is what remus calls him. no one was really allowed to use that nickname with him, even he and james who had a light hearted friendship that was basically based on jokes and pranks, sirius pronounced the words looking into james' eyes, which made james know he was being one hundred percent serious. james didnt respond, feeling a rush of guilt in his stomach, he just took a bite of his oatmeal.

"how are things with you two" james asked. sirius once again didnt respond right away but instead took time to ponder his answer.

"what do you mean how are things"

"you know, have you guys had a row or anything?" james asked, stuffing more oatmeal in his mouth.

"oh- um yea no. not really no" sirius hesitated a bit. the truth is that remus and him didnt have a row, but today was one of these occasions where sirius woke up finding himself on remus' bed not knowing how or why. it had happened a couple of times before and when it did, remus would immediately smile warmly at sirius and pamper him with kisses here and there on his cheek and his jaw. however, today, remus woke up a bit more shaky to the fact that he was in the same bed as sirius. he straightened his pyjamas quickly giving sirius an awkward smile and leaving without a word.

james dropped his oatmeal and looked at sirius looking serious for the first time, giving him a smile that carried something between sympathy and support.

"are you ever going to tell him?"

"tell him what" sirius said bluntly

james smirked. even lily suppressed a knowing look. sirius rolled his eyes.

"you guys are not onto that bullshit the whole school talks about right?" he asked cringing slightly.

"if the bullshit includes you and remus being blindly in love then yes" james gave a small laugh.

"literally blindly" lily mumbled, but sirius heard her and gave her a look.

"guys- hes my best mate"

"doing a lot of canoodling with your 'best mate' ?" james smirked rolling his eyes.

"first of all, what the fuck is canoodling james, this isnt the eighteenth century" he ppinted out the weird choice of wording.

"whatever, point is, people dont sleep on their 'best mates' chests every day padfoot" sirius opened his mouth to protest but james cut him again "just save your breath will you. im trying to help"

sirius sighed heavily burying his head in his hands and shaking it.

"i dont fucking know what to do prongs. fuck ugh i hate this so much why cant it be simpler" sirius' voice got weaker.

"mate just talk to him, remus cant read your mind. and its pretty obvious the feelings mutual" james tried to convince him.

"i dont know if hes into- you know, into me" sirius tried to explain. sirius had come out to the entire school three years ago so it was common knowledge that was gay.

"oh he is" lily said

sirius blinked.

"i mean, i spend a lot of time with him in our prefects meetings and in the library and stuff" she explained. sirius blinked again.

"i mean" she began again, "he talks about you an awful lot and seems to be quite fond of you" she smiled.

"look, you'll never know if you dont ask" james said again. "look at me, i had to ask lily out at least fifteen times-"

"james what the fuck this isnt the same, why are you even comparing it" sirius interrupted

"oh of course its not the same, but communication is key, no matter what the relationship is"

"yea and when i ask him out and he just says i misunderstood all his soft affectionate gestures, then stops hanging out with me because im gay and he would know i have feelings for him, that clearly arent mutual. i'll just ruin everything, and i'll lose probably the only person that likes me in this lousy world" sirius spilled, laughing bitterly.

"sirius! you know remus would never stop hanging out with you because of that, you know it!" james said, his voice getting a bit louder.

"yea but it'd be a sticky situation when your gay friend has feelings for you" sirius said, his eyes filled with tears that he wiped right away hoping james and lily didnt see that.

"sirius.." lily said lowly

"lily can you please check up on peter and help him if needs any assistance" james told her firmly, she didnt need telling twice, knowing he wanted to be left alone with sirius. she made her way out of the great hall until she was out of sight, then james look at sirius again who had his head buried in his hands once again.

"sirius i dont know whats gotten into you today, but you know damn well that neither moony or i would ever think of you any differently because you're gay. stop saying that as if its something that hinders you" this was one of the rare occasions where james was serious and firm. he wanted sirius to know meant every word that left his mouth. at this moment he heard a sniff followed by a weak sob.

"james, i sometimes wish i wanst- wasnt, you know, gay" he managed to say between sobs. james' face fell suddenly.

"no dont say that. please dont say that, you know we love you the way you are and we dont give two damns if you're gay or not" james got up and made his way across the table to sit next to sirius rather than in front of him.

"you're me best mate, i dont like seeing you like this. i love you a lot sirius and nothing your little overthinking brain comes up with could change that" he said, pulling sirius into a hug, so hard that he mightve broken a few ribs. he wasnt gonna let go before sirius does, he could stay here all day until sirius was ready to let go. he heard strong sniffs and felt his chest going up and down. sirius broke the hug after a few minutes, looking a lot more content than he had a few minutes before. james gave him his usual cheeky smile.

"your fucking snout sirius" james laughed, picking up a handkerchief trying to clean his shoulder.

"fuck off" sirius managed to laugh, sniffing again.

"thank you" sirius said quietly

"come off it, dont thank me" james smiled at him. he watched him grab a cigarette and right when he was about to light it with the tip of his wand james stopped him hesitantly. james never really liked to mother him about smoking or give him lectures about the effects smoking had, but he noticed sirius was eating less and smoking more the past couple of days. sirius shot a "what-do-you-want" look to which james responded, "um, can you please just eat something before you smoke" james said. he knew this was a touchy subject, he never liked to mention it but they were alone and he knows he's the only one sirius would listen to. sirius gave him a hesitant look, before stuffing the cigarette back in his pocket.

"just for you prongs" he rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his doughnut. james however was filled with so much joy seeing his best friend do that just for him.

"what are you smiling so much at you prat" sirius said between bites. james shook his head softly before saying, "im very proud of you sirius, i hope you know that" sirius smiled and laughed dismissively at that statement, james knew it touched him but sirius never really knew how to respond to affectionate words.

"you're very sappy you know that" sirius laughed slightly.

"whatever" james felt his cheeks go red. "anyway i have to get going before i get minnie mad on christmas" he said, getting up, swinging his backpack on his back leaving the hall.

"tell moony i say merry christmas" james called, leaving the great hall also disappearing out of sight.

later that night, james and lily departed home to spend the upcoming weeks with their families to celebrate christmas, so did most of the school. as homey and welcoming as the school felt, everyone loved going back to their family, everyone except sirius. sirius was never fond of his family, he never had a good relationship with them and all they did was make him more miserable, he would take any chance to be away from them. sirius was sat in the library that was emptier than usual (but the ceiling was enchanted to fake snow) he was sitting with two giant books opened in front of him, yellowed by age. he looked over at the books, he hadnt read a single word despite being here for nearly an hour. he came here in an attempt to distract himself from the intensifying amount of nerves and stress, however, he was so lost in his thoughts that not even that gigantic book can save him from his exhausting overthinking. he sighed heavily, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulder, shutting the books that made a loud thud and put them back in their place. sirius swung his backpack on his back and left the library making his way to the gryffindor tower. he just wanted to sleep. yes, sleep, thats what he needed. he went through the fat lady's portrait and climbed up the stairs to his dormitory, finding remus sitting on his four poster bed completely engulfed by a book. remus shot his eyes up the second he heard sirius walking in and gave him a wordless smile, going back to his book. sirius' stomach did a funny lurch.

"i was starting to think youve forgotten your way around the castle" remus said, flipping the page of his book, still reading it. sirius looked at him nervously, not sure what he meant by that.

"what?" sirius asked, he was going to take his shirt off and get in his pyjamas but stopped abruptly. he didnt wanna make remus uncomfortable around him, especially after what happened this morning. they always had a very intimate relationship though, changing in front of each other was never a problem. remus suppressed a chuckle which made sirius look at him, unsure what he found comical in this very intense atmosphere.

"you can take your shirt off if you want sirius" remus said, still poured into his book.

"how can you even see me?" sirius couldnt stop himself. remus looked up from his book and gave him a is-that-even-a-question look. sirius slipped his undone tie, unbuttoning his buttons his fingers shaking horribly for a reason he didn't understand. he knew remus was looking in his book (not that he didnt want remus looking) but he still felt like all the worlds eyes are on him. a couple of awfully long minutes passed and sirius finally was in his pyjama and got into his bed under his blanket and stared absentmindedly into the wall. remus flipped the page once again, he hadnt read a word on the previous page. how could he? he was so preoccupied by sirius changing in front of him. remus did freak out when he found himself on the same bed as sirius this morning. he doesnt know why he freaked out the way he did, its not like its the first time. he knew that this had made sirius extremely self conscious the whole day, he was wearing a very dull look. he had to make up for his unexplainable actions, he cant stand seeing sirius this upset, especially if he was the reason hes feeling like that. he couldnt stand seeing him in such a bad mood on breakfast this morning that he had to dismiss himself early. but sirius' loss of his loud flirtatious attitude was what stirred the pot for remus. he didnt walk in the dorm and try to slip in bed with remus, or get a kiss from him, or remotely try draw any attention to hismelf from remus rather than that book in his hand, which was as un-sirius as one can get.

"why were you late?" remus asked sirius, knowing hes not asleep. sirius mumbled something inaudible from his bed that remus didnt catch onto. remus furrowed his brows slightly. he shut his book and put it on the bed side table, the sound he made when he shut his book made sirius shift in his bed to face remus who was staring back at him.

"where were you?" remus asked

"in the library" sirius said simply, avoiding any sarcasm or any joking around. remus face wore a surprised expression.

"oh- by your own will?" he said with a breathy laugh.

"yea" sirius replied

"what were you reading?" said remus, sounding excited. sirius didnt exactly know why he wad being interrogated by remus about his absence.

"um, i was just doing homework"

"oh, thats actually nice pads" remus smiled. sirius' stomach did another flip at the nickname. god this was so awkward and tense, sirius thought.

"sirius are you mad at me?" remus said, going straight to the point. every muscle in sirius' body went tense and completely still.

"no" sirius said bluntly.

"sure?"

"yea"

"okay. great then. um do you wanna come lay here with me?" remus offered, this was quiet foreign for remus as it was never him who initiated anything sexual or intimate. but he was willing to go out of his comfort zone for sirius. just for sirius.

"uh- sorry moony im really tired" it pained sirius to say these words, if he was being honest, he wanted nothing more than to lay in remus' chest right now and give him soft pecks and kiss his stupid plump lips.

"oh, okay" remus said lowly. "okay then" sirius wasnt sure what he meant by that tone, and before sirius has any other second to think about it, he felt his bed dip slightly and remus climbing on him, placing himself on top of sirius with his legs wide opened around his waist. sirius felt like all the oxygen in the world had escaped his lungs.

"tired, you said you are pads? want a little massage?" remus cooed softly. he leaned down on sirius' chest undoing his pyjama buttons revealing his tattooed chest.

"remus-" sirius tried to stop him. sirius promised himself he wasnt going to do anything like that with remus because he doesnt want to make him uncomfortable or possibly hate him more, however, this is different. its remus thats initiating it. it remus that did it.

"what pads?" remus continued cooing softly, completely stripping sirius of his shirt and attaching his lips on sirius' neck. at this exact moment, sirius moaned louder than he intended. he shifted slightly in his bed and put his hand through remus' hair. remus continued nibbling sirius' neck. he bit and licked at all the right spots, leaving a soft trail of kisses all over his neck and made his way up to his chin and on his lips, where he left a soft peck. sirius however pulled remus' head back towards him to kiss him properly, remus licked sirius' bottom lip which made sirius moan approvingly into the kiss. remus slipped his tongue in sirius' mouth and deepened the kiss, he felt sirius' hand wandering around his shoulder and slipped in his shirt to touch his bare skin.

"god this is so" remus moaned breaking the kiss only to attach his lips on his once again.

"remus-" sirius stopped him abruptly. remus looked down on sirius, his eyes mobing fast between his godly features, furrowing his brows slightly not understanding why sirius stopped him. did he make him uncomfortable? was sirius really not in the mood and remus overstepped a boundry? remus felt a horrible tingling feeling in his stomach as his brain raced between all the possibilities.

"remus im sorry- i cant do this" sirius said, as soon as the words left his mouth he felt horrible, reading the shocked and bewildered expression on remus face, he looked very hurt and unsure of himself.

"oh- fuck okay im sorry" remus said quickly, getting off sirius and leaving his bed, but sirius held his arm to immobilize him and not make him leave. they stared at each other for a few seconds that felt painfully long. both of them felt confused, upset with themselves and unsure of what to do or say next.

"can you please stay" sirius said quietly avoiding remus' eye. remus didnt respond which made sirius feel a horrible pit of nerves in his stomach.

"i- i don't understand. you just asked me to stop and told me you cant do this" remus spoke lowly with a soft rasp in his voice. sirius buried his head in his hand, he was on the brink of tears, he honestly didnt know what or how to explain his confusion to remus. how could he explain it or put it in cohesive words when he himself didn't understand.

"sirius please talk to me" remus said softly, holding sirius' hand

"rem i dont know how-"

"do you trust me?" remus cut him off.

"what- yes of course" sirius said sternly.

"then please tell me how you feel"

"how i feel about what?" sirius asked

"about doing this" remus tried to explain, sirius knew at once he was referring to all the sexual stuff they do.

"remus i love it. i enjoy it a lot, i sometimes just want the day to end only to get in bed with you. i- i dont know how to word my feelings because it's honestly just all a mess inside me" sirius spilled. this was the most he'd spoken all day. remus smiled at the last sentence. "what about you?" sirius asked, feeling the same horrible pit of nerves in his stomach increase. remus however smiled.

"i do things for you pads that id never do to anyone" he said, smiling more. he leaned closer to sirius' face and brushing a few strands of his hair out of his face. "but, if you feel unsure about this, we can stop and just be friends. i'd completely understand"

"no what the fuck moony" sirius said before he could stop himself, remus looked in his eyes. "no im unsure about your feelings to me, not about my feelings to you" he tried to explain.

"you think i dont like you?" remus asked quickly.

"well not exactly but im not sure how you feel towards me". at this, remus leaned down to kiss sirius lips a soft and tender kiss. he took his time to savor every bit of his mouth he could.

"maybe this would give you a good idea about how i feel about you" he smiled at him. "we're both exhausted, its best if we just go to sleep"

"right okay. can you sleep with me?" sirius asked, remus gave a breathy laugh at his sweet request.

"yes darling i can" he said with his usual rasp apparent, getting under the blanket and spooning sirius playing with his hair for the the next foreseeable hours until both of them were sleeping.

soft sun rays illuminated through the window of the gryffindor tower and on the entire hogwarts grounds. the translucent curtains that were in the dormitory were not doing any shielding from the sun rays whatsoever. it fell gently on the two boys that were sleeping together, tangled together, their bodies almost intertwining so perfectly with each other as if they were jigsaw pieces. sirius' head was on remus' chest, remus hugging sirius' body towards him and their legs just tangled. they looked so peaceful, their chests raising and going down every couple of seconds, it was all so perfect that one could confidently bet that even their heartbeats were in sync.

an owl came knocking its beak on the window above the bed theyre on, breaking the gentle yet majestically peaceful the state they were in. sirius shifted slightly in his sleep, opening his eyes to find uninvited sunlight penetrating right through his eyeballs. the owl made another knock on the window trying to grab their attention.

"fine okay" sirius said rasply, he got up sitting upright opening the window for that stupid owl that interrupted his sleep. the owl had two parcels tied on its leg. sirius untied them and the owl flew out at once.

"whos that from?" a raspy voice spoke he immediately knew it was remus.

"um, i think its" he turned the parcel around to see if there was any name, he smiled when he saw the senders name.

"yep, its from prongs" he said looking at remus who also smiled warmly.

"well, we'll open it later, lets just get up quickly now before we miss breakfast" he said, sitting up right and sliding his legs out of the bed. the two boys changed into their normal clothes. remus got into a hand knitted sweater and pants, sirius also got into a baggy sweatshirt and sloppily tied his hair up.

"pads is that mine?" remus smiled looking at the sweater sirius was wearing.

"maybe" sirius replied with a cheeky tone.

"course it is" remus rolled his eyes. "you literally have the biggest closet out of all of us, yet youre never wearing your shit" sirius gave him a weird look.

"not that i mind it darling" remus said softly, playing with sirius' hair slightly. they both left the dormitory and walked down to the common room with the intention to leave to the great hall, however they were met by a small table that was put in front of the fireplace with breakfast food laying on it. they looked at each other exchanging weird looks.

"there was no point of making you leave the common room only to go down and eat when its only you too in the whole school" professor mcgonagall's voice spoke. she was sitting on an armchair wearing her usual green dressing gown. "well anyway, im going down to have breakfast with the rest of the teachers. you two have a merry christmas" she smiled slightly and left the common room.

remus and sirius were just left there standing stupidly in front of the food table.

"well, i guess we're not leaving. sit down lets eat im starving" sirius said sitting himself down and starting to eat toast. they both ate until they were full and just laid on their armchairs to take their breath.

"wanna open the parcel prongs sent?" remus asked after ten minutes of silence.

"uhh sure" sirius said, getting the parcels, handing remus one box and he opened the other one. he tore the wrapping and opened it, a smile breaking on his face.

"he got me a wand polishing set. oh and look, he got me some hair bands" remus laughed a little. sirius put the hair bands in his wrist.

"what are you laughing at, i love it" sirius smiled "what did he get you?"

"he got me part six of 'crows or crowns'. its my favorite book and he knows i couldn't find that volume anywhere" remus' face wore a very big smile from that present. "oh and look! he got me a vest, it's beautiful"

"i'll be wearing that" sirius said at once

"of course darling you can wear it whenever"

"remus open my gift!" sirius said with so much excitement, remus held the huge box wondering what he has inside. he stared at sirius before opening it, unsure of what will meet him when he opens it. his suspicion grew larger when he was met by a cheeky smiling sirius.

"its not gonna blow up in my face right?" remus laughed a little

"only one way to find out" sirius shrugged

"oh god" remus joked. he opened the box and the first thing he saw was a big box inside labeled 'book polishing kit' remus' face fell with shock.

"sirius! sirius is this a book polishing kit? oh my god" he was gasping. sirius felt his cheeks burn by the fond expression on remus' face.

"holy shit pads where did you get this, these are so rare and expensive" he held it close to his face examining it with so much excitement.

"shhh its a gift" sirius was kind of embarrassed fora reason he doesnt know. "theres more stuff"

remus looked inside the box and laughed out loudly when he saw at least a doesnt bars of chocolate.

"what are you laughing at! this is the muggle chocolate you told me you like" sirius said flustered a little.

"yes yes i love it" remus smiled. "thank you"

sirius shrugged, not knowing what to say in situations like this.

"um, right open my gift" remus said looking nervous. remus' gift was something a little different and not very expected, he spent a lot of time thinking whether its a good idea or not. hes so nervous for sirius to see it, he felt his stomach lurch so badly he might vomit. he handed sirius an a4 piece of parchment that was folded into quarters. sirius gave him a confused yet excited look.

"are you giving me your transfiguration homework as a christmas gift moony" he joked.

"oh shut up and open it" every fibre in remus' body was screaming in anticipation and nerves. sirius unfolded the paper and read:

"dear sirius,

i am writing this in the dormitory for the fifteenth time at least. i thought so much about this and decided that its perfect. six years ago when i laid eyes on you for the first time, you had this aura that carried so much charm, something about your stupid gorgeous personality was so seductive and made me in complete lust for you. there aren't enough words in the english language to explain how you make me feel, nothing will come close to describing how i feel when you slip in bed with me every night, when i play with your hair, when i hear your heartbeats, when i hold your hand and stroke it with my thumb, when you kiss my scars, when you sit next to me in class sit there looking pretty doing nothing. i came to the conclusion that every little thing you do has me in utter awe. no one has ever made me feel like that, for a long time i was so confused as to why and how you could do that so effortlessly. i was confused about how i felt about you for so long, i was so confused about myself, and you helped me come to terms with who i am, by being so unapologetically you. at the end of a hard day you're always there to cheer me up, even in my darkest days, when nothing felt like it'll be okay ever again, you're always fucking here to change that. the number of times you've saved my life sirius, i couldnt tell you, by just merely being here. i figured that no matter what happens and no matter where life takes me, i want to always be with you. i never want to see that day i have to depart you, i dont ever see it coming because not even the strongest force from the gods above will make me leave you. im in love with you. im so fucking in love you idiot. im in love with the way you talk, the way you tie your hair, the way you dress, the way your eyes crease when you smile, your bark like laugh, your stupid jokes that i find funny unironically, your chirped nail polish... just in love with you. so sirius, this is me asking, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

sirius read the letters at least three times to make sure he wasnt missing anything, to make sure he was reading it correctly. was remus asking him out? was remus actually in love with him? none of this felt real. sirius felt like he's seeing stars in his vision, like he was going to pass out any second right now. he looked up at remus who was staring attentively on him and watching his every reaction. he met eyes with him and felt like all the worlds oxygen was being drained.

"so?" remus asked, his voice quivering.

"so?" he repeated as if this was a incredulous thing so say, " fuck yes i wanna be your boyfriend" sirius threw himself on remus on his armchair and splattered him with kissed everywhere he could reach.

"i never thought id be the lucky person to actually end up dating you" sirius breathed

"please, im the lucky one here" remus rolled his eyes.

"i mean hell yeah you are" sirius said sarcastically.

the pair of them spent the rest of the day sitting on the armchair cuddled up with the heat of each other, sharing soft intimate touches every now and then. they spent the whole day in peace and delicacy and made the most out of each other’s company. soon enough before they knew it, the holidays were over and students were returning to hogwarts for their second term.

“hi remus! hey sirius, good holiday? how are you two?” james showered them with questions enthusiastically when they saw him come in the gryffindor common room, he seemed to be in a cheerful mood.

“yea, great holiday” remus mumbled finding himself an armchair and sitting in it. the rest followed and sat on armchairs around him but sirius sat on his lap which remus scooted over a little to make space for him. james and lily looked at each other rolling their eyes playfully but happy that theyre on good terms, unlike the last time they saw them.

“what about you two? and you wormy? how was ur holiday” remus asked calmly, playing with sirius’ hair absentmindedly.

“great we had a great a time, i invited lily and wormy over, wormy couldnt make it though. but lily and i had fun, my parents liked her a lot” james smirked looking at her. “obviously they knew her because i always talked about her to them, but they’ve never really- woah WOAH” james’ speach was cut abruptly when he saw sirius attach his lips to remus’ and remus kissed him back fondly. they all exchanged shocked looks but they werent too shocked, they knew something was happening between the pair of them.

“woah guys” james laughed as they broke the kiss apart and giggled at their reaction.

“yea um, remus and i are dating” sirius said, lookinh flustered slightly. remus was still playing with his hair softly.

“does that mea we can go on double dates?” james said at once

“james potter i am not going on double dates with you and sirius thank you very much” lily said sarcastically.

“suit yourself, james and i are going on dates” sirius shrugged

“james and you are what-“ lily looked confused but cant help a laugh.

“thats right evans” sirius said in a dignified tone.

“dont you talk to my girlfriend like that black!” remus said at once. they all laughed at the sitiuation but lily said with a serious voice, “guys im so happy for you, youre finally together” she smiled wamrly. remus and sirius scooted closer next to each other smiling back at her.

“really proud of my mates” james said, trying to keep a serious tone but smirking at the same time.

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