#and don't mean in a 'they go out of their way to treat me like crap' kind of way

[suiana]

fellas, have you ever wondered if a man could ever be as adorable and cute as a baby kitten? well now you can experience and love on in real life! suiana presents to you innocent! yandere and smitten reader ❤️

your very own innocent boy who doesn't even know what NNN or OF means. his instagram feed is full of baking and and clothing ideas, he goes out to help stray animals, and he goes on daily walks to the park to reconnect with nature. he has no idea what a skibidi toilet is, brain completely nourished with the books he borrows from the library. yeah, this guy smells like bread and cookies too btw, he does lots of baking. and cooking. have i mentioned he's completely skilled in the kitchen? yeah, he is.

by some stroke of luck, you meet him one day and... look, he's just the cutest thing ever! i mean, he's fashionable, smells good, and was even defending a stray dog from being bullied by some kids. so you ask him out on a date, but the second you ask him the question you swear you could just die on the spot... because tell me why his entire face is red and he's genuinely so happy??? all smiley faced and blushing like a tomato???

oh it's his first time getting asked out and he's flustered??? he's never been approached by anyone before??? he thinks you're really attractive and he would like to go out on a date too??? oh my god guys, he's even asking if you're comfortable with him rambling like this and not trying to get too close without your consent😭

anyway the two of you go out on a date and you think you just might marry him on the spot with how much of a gentleman he's being??? INSISTING on paying for your meal, respecting your distance and being genuinely curious about you on a deeper level. no mention of hooking up, being casual fwb or anything like that. he's... actually looking for a serious relationship unlike your previous partners? holy shit? so you asked him his thoughts on cheating and some other stuff...

"so what are your thoughts on cheating?"

"cheating?"

"yeah, like when you get with someone else when you're dating."

"isn't that illegal?"

HELLO??? he thinks cheating is ILLEGAL??? you had to spend the rest of your date trying not to cry or hug him because he ended up finding out some devastating news.

"yes... cheating is illegal unfortunately."

"I don't know why. it should be illegal, that is a very bad thing to do 😦 do people actually cheat? really? no way."

UGRHGRGR you two end up dating and he's the sweetest guy you've been with. cute date nights, reassurance that you're perfect and enough, handmade gifts and deep talks into the night that deepen your bond together... the only problem is just that maybe he's a little too sweet.

he's constantly buying you gifts, telling you how much he appreciates you and just... being the perfect boyfriend? the perfect clingy boyfriend.

at first you found it cute. but...

why is he so in love with you? why is he so nice? you don't know what to do with a man as sweet as him and can only give into his seemingly harmful actions. you used to think that he had an ulterior motive but... you don't know whether you're being deceived or not. why would you? he's not being manipulative. how could he ever be manipulative? he's just a sweet and nice green flag!

asking you to always be with him? that's just a romantic thing everyone else says. chasing away any people who shows the slightest bit of interest, even if it's not confirmed to be romantic? what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't do that? asking for your location if you ever try to go out without him? silly lover, why would you worry him like that?

no no, he's not being possessive. okay, maybe he is. it's just a tiny bit though! surely you're fine with that. after all, he's still treating you like the royalty that you are. he should be allowed some grace for his unwillingness to share.

you're not sure whether or not he's truly innocent or not. was he even innocent to begin with? maybe, maybe not. perhaps it was all just an act...

but you shouldn't think that. why would you think badly of your boyfriend who's only ever been sweet to you? even during fights, he doesn't raise his voice and actively listens to you, trying to resolve the issue. he could never want to hurt you.

after all, he's your innocent boyfriend that you're smitten with, right?

[shouyuus]

Hear me out on this🤚🏼 vi and reader arguing over something stupid and reader says something sideways that’s like Loki kinda freaky and vis like oh yeah mf and then boom freaky time but a bit of rough talk so vi can get reader to admit she’s right???

hahahahahahah /gunshots/ this grew legs and ran off on its own omfg; hope u enjoy!!! also credit where credit is due i immediately thought of this textpost when i saw this ask so. 18+, mdni dom/slightly mean!vi, college roommate!vi cinematic universe

"fuck you."

"no fuck you -- y'know what -- why don't you just edge me into next tuesday -- that'd be less painful --"

"i --" vi blinks, staring at you as you run your hands through your hair, still mumbling to yourself, apparently entirely unaware of the change your words have just wrought in her.

a spate of desire twists knife-sharp in her gut as vi imagines pressing you in half, a hand wrapped around your throat the other teasing between your legs, the way your hips might jump if she curled her fingers just so.

she wonders how quick she could get you begging; she wonders, a second later, how quick it'd get her on the edge when here she is, careening towards it at the mere thought of taking you apart.

"ugh -- whatever, i have to get back to my research paper -- i don't have time to --"

vi's arm shoots out and she's got her fingers wreathed around your wrist before she can stop herself. your alarmed look catches like a spark in the dry-grass tickle of her stomach and suddenly there's heat pluming up the back of her neck like smoke as she backs you into the apartment wall, licking her lips as she watches confusion and the hazy sheen of unmistakable want flicker to light behind your eyes.

"v-vi?"

she almost shivers. she thinks it's a testament to how well she's always treated you that you don't sound frightened -- only curious, and a little surprised.

"we're not done here, princess -- and i don't really think i like it when you try to walk away from me like that," she whispers, leaning in close enough to feel the way your breath stutters in your chest.

"vi -- i don't -- this isn't --"

but her questioning smirk as she pulls back silences the stumbling words on your lips as your cheeks go dark and your eyes cut away from hers.

"aww, c'mon princess --" and this time, she leans into the word like it might be an insult, doesn't miss the way your lashes flutter or the way your breathing's shallowed out to small little hitches, or the fact that you're stock still against the wall, even though her grip is light and there's nothing to stop you from pulling away.

"where's that fire from a second ago? weren't you just calling me a bad roommate for always forgetting to run the dishwasher before i leave?"

you swallow, the bob in your throat making her heart skitter up her ribcage like climbing up monkey bars.

"that... okay fine -- that was mean -- but it's not like i was lying about the --" your voice pitches as you look back up at her, and for a second, the hard light in your eyes catches again, only to sputter out as you meet her gaze for the second time, a guttering candle to a winter's breeze. vi bites back a grin. this is too easy.

"mm, but it still hurt my feelings, princess..." vi coos, leaning in to brush her lips by your cheek, reveling in the way you tremble beneath her, "and really, i don't think i'm that bad of a roommate, right? i take care of you, don't i?"

the moment her lips catch the lobe of your ear, you let out a soft whimper that makes vi's vision tilt sideways. and before she knows it, she's sucking a dark hickey into the skin of your neck and your fingers are fisting in her hair, making her groan.

she sinks her teeth into your skin, pulling back to pin you bodily to the wall, pressing a leg up between yours just to hear you keen.

"admit it -- don't i take good care of you?"

you whine through pursed lips, your eyes glazed out as you frown up at her, nodding faintly. she grins, feeling the heady, full-body rush of knowing she's got you right where she's been wanting you for weeks, for months.

"c'mon, say it --" she teases her free hand down the length of your body to flip up the hem of the large t-shirt you're wearing (it's one of hers; the thought catches her off-guard like punch to the side, the knowledge of it wringing through her with a bell-toll of desire) to skim along the hem of your cotton panties.

"y-you're -- you're not a bad roommate -- vi --" you twitch as she dips her fingers into the waistband of your panties and slicks a finger between your folds, hissing out at how wet you already are.

vi's grin is sour-candy-cyanide as she pulls back, her gaze half-lidded as she watches you chewing on your bottom lip.

"god, princess -- did that turn you on?" she asks, though both of you know the question is useless and purely rhetorical. she swallows down a thick moan as she inches a finger between your messy cunt lips to tease at your entrance. your answering huff only makes her chuckle, and this time, she does groan out when she finally eases her finger into you, feeling your hot, wet walls flutter around her, making her own cunt twinge with want.

"mm... i think i'd still like a formal apology -- tell you what," she says, putting on a false, considerate air even as she teases her finger in and out of you, nice and slow, almost thoughtlessly as she cocks her head, "admit that you were wrong and... we'll call it even, yeah?"

immediately, she sees you stiffen, feels you clench down around her as your eyes snap up. you've always hated admitting you were wrong, and even when you have apologized in the past, you've always danced around the words. and vi had thought it was just a cute little quirk of yours, chalked it up to your massive brain -- it must be so hard for someone so smart, so used to be in unequivocally correct all the time to admit, out loud, that they'd been mistaken.

a rush of heat crests into her chest at the thought, and she quirks her finger inside you to brush against the tender spot she knows will get your eyes rolling.

and it does, but not before you give your head a tiny, obdurate shake.

vi sighs, licking her lips as she brushes her thumb against your clit and watches, with a thrumming satisfaction, as your mouth falls open around a silent moan.

"just three little words, princess -- and then... i promise, i'll make you feel so good..." she croons the words into your ear, shudders at the thought of making you cum, of how good you'd look shaking over her fingers. "unless," she hums, "you really would like me to edge you into next tuesday, which --" she makes a noncommittal sound, "saturday afternoon and i've got early morning practice tomorrow, but i'm sure something can be arranged."

you let out another debauched moan as she bullies a second finger into your wet heat, still fucking them into you at that mind-bogglingly slow pace. you try to arch your hips, but her other hand slams you back against the wall.

she tuts, leaning back ever so slightly.

"uh-uh, i don't think so."

you scowl and try to shove at her shoulder, but there's no strength in the motion and the hand on your hip flashes up a second later to grab both your wrists, pinning them above your head in a single fluid move.

it happens so quickly you barely have time to gasp before she's leaning forward again, her words hot as she murmurs into your ear --

"go on, princess, try to fight back -- give me a reason to get rough with you."

at once, you still, but the you give both your wrists an experimental tug, only for vi to tighten her hold. you can't quite stop the moan that works its way out of your throat, nor can you control the way your pussy slickens impossibly around her fingers as she laughs, the sound caught somewhere between amused and mocking.

"gonna admit that you were wrong, princess?" she asks, crooking an eyebrow.

you press your lips and whine, looking away. her fingers pump a few more times inside you, her thumb finding your clit with truly disarming ease.

"vi -- f-fuck --!" you yelp as she flicks her thumb and your whole body jolts, electric tendrils of pleasure ricocheting through you, harsh as a loose bullet.

"there y'go... c'mon -- be a good girl and say it --" vi can't quite stop the way her voice frays around the edges as she leans in to ghost her lips over yours, her vision tunneling as she starts to fuck you with her fingers proper, working them into you in tandem with the rhythm of your hips, watching as you expression falls slack.

"mm -- nnngh -- please, vi -- i --"

"ah... that's pretty good but... still not an apology," she muses, slowing her pace again, dragging both her fingers along your inner walls, pressing them up, watching as your eyes squeeze shut, your entire body jerking as she massages your clit from both ends.

"i -- i'm s-sorry, 'm sorry, i -- i was wrong -- fuck -- oh -- shit, that feels -- v-vi --!"

"thereee you go... that wasn't so hard, was it?" vi soothes, picking up the pace, grinning as you keen, your knees nearly giving out, but she's got you held up by your wrists, her thigh still slotted between yours, her fingers plowing into you till you're almost writhing against her.

she lets out a long groan, low and thick, a panting gasp working out of her as she fucks you through your orgasm, watching with soft-eyed wonder as you whimper, your whole body twitching with the aftershocks.

"hey, hey, princess -- you still with me?" she asks, letting go of your wrists in favor of cupping your cheek, swiping a tender thumb along your skin. you lean into her touch, your head lolling ever so slightly as your lashes flutter and you fight to focus your eyes.

"y-yeah -- think so..."

vi laughs, slowly tugging her fingers from you, unable to keep a grin from twisting at the corner of her mouth as you shudder at the loss.

"jesus, princess..." she says, holding up her hand -- there's wetness slicking down the back of her hand all the way to her wrist. you blink at it for a second before a tiny, embarrassed scowl digs itself between your brows.

"i -- you --"

vi laughs, shaking out her hand and reaching for an errant napkin on the dining table to wipe down her fingers.

"no, no -- i'm not makin' fun -- it's actually kinda hot."

you purse your lips, cheeks stained damson as she watches you readjust your panties, tugging on the hem of her large t-shirt.

"still think i'm a bad roommate?" vi asks, biting back a smile, her heart caught somewhere in the back of her throat.

you look up, eyes bright, your head already shaking.

"no! i -- that was --" your head drops back down even as your shoulders shrug up, "i... i was just annoyed but i -- i didn't mean it --"

a beat, in which vi finishes cleaning off her hand and strides over to throw the wad of napkin in the trash.

"i... i'm sorry," you say, your voice small.

vi looks up to find you watching her from beneath your lashes.

"'s okay, princess. apology accepted." she smiles, and this time there's no poison hidden in it's corners, only the steady sweetness you've come to know her for.

"i -- uhm --" you clear your throat, still worrying at the hem of the shirt. vi cocks her head.

"i can make it up to you... if you want --" you say, barely meeting her eyes.

vi pauses, her eyebrows kicking up. a second later, she's grinning again, rolling back her shoulders and leaning into one of her hips.

"yeah? and... how'dyou propose you do that?"

you bite down on your bottom lip and jerk your head towards the open door of your bedroom, even as vi's stomach gives an unruly lurch at the clear implication.

she fights to keep her expression flat as she looks you over.

"damn, princess -- you really weren't kidding about that tuesday-thing, huh?"

you crinkle your nose, sniffing slightly, even as vi brushes by you, breezing into your bedroom and plopping herself onto your bed with a satisfied sigh. you follow her in a moment later, climbing on after her and giving her shoulder a tiny shove so that she's backed up against the apartment wall and you've got room to straddle her lap.

"well... i have been thinking about it for... for a while," you admit, your voice soft as you thumb at the collar of her shirt.

vi groans, her palms settling around your waist, fingers digging into the plush of your ass.

"yeah? oh fuck -- ah --" she jerks as you trail your hands down her front, pausing to tease her nipples over the material of her shirt.

"mhm..."

"what else have you been imagining in that big, beautiful brain of yours, hm?" vi asks, breath hitching as you tug the shirt from her and lean down to ghost your mouth over her hardening nipples, tongue flickering out to tease at the cold metal piercings.

"lotsa stuff," you say, almost casual as you wiggle down to settle yourself comfortably between her legs, glancing up at her with what can only be called a chesire-grin --

"w-wanna tell me about it?" vi asks, reaching up a hand to run her fingers through your hair. you hum, laving a tongue against her nipple before sucking the entire thing into your mouth.

a groan punches out of her as she shudders, her head tipping back with a dull thunk against the apartment wall.

"i could... but it'd be so much faster if i just... showed you, no?"

[mr-mercutio]

I remember once I was at a T-shaped intersection, crossing on the right side of the T from top down. About a second into walking into the street, y'know - after waiting for the lights to change and the walk signal to come on, this guy revs up and pulls into the intersection, ready to turn right. Already breaking the law of course, pulling right into the street before I was all the way across. And then he leans out of his window and starts screaming at me to hurry up and get across the street.

I didn't even have the opportunity to check for this fucker to see if he was going to let me cross. Put aside that I had right of way and had waited for the lights to change, he hadn't even BEEN at the intersection, just came zipping down at me.

I didn't feel terrified until after the whole thing was done. In the moment I was just so angry because how dare he, honestly? How dare he come so close to being able to just murder me with his fucking truck and then get mad at ME because I'm slowing him down by a few seconds?

I was so mad that I actually stopped in the middle of the crosswalk and looked him dead in the eyes. And I wish this was the part of the story where I could say he looked ashamed of himself, where I could think maybe he learned something that day that would change how he drove or treated people. Maybe he looked back at me and realized how much power he held over my life in that moment and mouthed "sorry" at me.

But no, he just got more angry and leaned on his horn and called me a faggot. I must have been the worst part of his day, the way he was acting.

So I just gave him the finger and resumed crossing the street, albeit at a snail's pace because I'm a petty little bitch when I'm mad. And as soon as there was any clearance behind me he went zooming off, still screaming at me. I could see another driver waiting at the intersection, one who had a red light still, look absolutely horrified. I think she felt more shame as a driver than this guy did.

And seeing her face was when I felt scared. When the reality dawned on me of how easily I could have been killed in that moment just because I was an inconvenience to an asshole. I slowed him down for an extra 20 seconds, and he treated me like absolute trash. He could have killed me so easily. The only power I had in that moment was to make his day just a little bit worse by extending the inconvenience a few more seconds. And I took that power gleefully in the moment, but I really shouldn't have. I should have just crossed the street because what if he did decide then to run me over? I would love to say that even this douchebag supreme wouldn't be that bad, but honestly? How could I know? If he was that willing to fly off the handle with zero provocation, I shouldn't have trusted that he wouldn't run me down for slowing down and giving him the finger. But taking the tiny bit of power I had in that moment felt really good and necessary in the heat of the moment.

I dunno, I don't have a good lesson here. I don't regret it in the slightest but I do also think it wasn't the safe thing to do. It wasn't worth the risk of dying in that moment.

Some people have no concept of the power they hold. This story is far and away not the only time I feel like I've come close to being killed by drivers who were stupid, angry, mean, or just plain not paying attention. I wish more people would remember that they're piloting a killing machine at high velocity and I'm just a little fleshbag out in the open air. I have to be so careful, and it makes me a bit bitter to watch the drivers who blithely zoom around and forget to stop or slow down or check for pedestrians like me.

Nothing exposes the inability of people to navigate power imbalances quite like the relationship between drivers and pedestrians.

For example, I just had a driver get screaming-at-me mad because I stopped walking at a slip lane to make sure he was going to stop. And like, buddy, I know I have the right of way, but if I assume you are going to stop and I guess wrong, I will literally die. Whereas if I wait to see if you're actually going to slow down, I am just delaying both of us by a couple of seconds. And that might have more to do with why I made the choice that I did than my being a stupid bitch who needs to learn the rules. Like, if you can't understand why the fact that you could effortlessly accidentally kill me (and likely face no consequences) means I am reticent to assume the best from you, maybe you just shouldn't have any power over anyone ever.

[meanbossart]

Hey, I was just thinking about Drow as a companion, you've talked a little about what you think he would be like. Have you thought about how he would act at the goblin vs. the tiefling party in act one?

Good question! Supporting the grove happens to be one of those unambiguously good choices that he is 100% behind. He finds Khaga (and the druids in general) to be insufferable, despises Minthara because she's a drow and a cultist, and most importantly cares about the tiefling children's safety. Because of this, he will likely be unhappy about the grove being raided... Yet, not enough to leave the party or strongly challenge a Tav on it. Massacring the grove would sate that blood-lust in himself, and he would draw pleasure from it, despite it going against his bare-bones morality. DU drow would be too conflicted about his own feelings about it to express himself strongly one way or another after the deed is done, kind of like Shadowheart reacts to the whole ordeal.

If you save the grove, you will find him sampling from Mol's secret wine stash. Mol tells you they cut a deal and you can either pay her the 100 gold you "owe" her for his antics, or tell her to sod off.

You can then find DU drow hidden away and drinking himself into a stupor. He's still coherent but occasionally slurring his words, clearly a really experienced drunk. He talks about Mol, how he thinks she's a riot and just thought he'd teach her a valuable lesson about business. If you ask him why he's isolated himself, he will jokingly say he's too humble to be showered in all this praise. You can succeed an insight check to find out that he's nervous about something.

If you ask what he thinks about what you've done, he's expresses indifference about the adults but, again, that he's glad the children are okay.

Tav: You're drinking like a man with a guilty conscience. Just to remind you - we're the good guys tonight. The drow: (Scoffs) The hellspawn aren't making it far. They are too... too bright-eyed. We've only put-off the inevitable. ...I only lament the fates of the children. The little sods didn't choose this life. Tav: They're clever enough. I'm sure they'll be alright. The drow: Cleverness can only get you so far. They're still little.

You can trigger his romance here, but you can't have sex with him yet. Through being flirtatious but not pushy he will promise you to pick this up another time, when he's not quite so indisposed. The scene would trigger during the next event-less long-rest.

In the goblin party, on the other hand, he will be found standing at his tent as normal. He's sober and there's no nervousness to be uncovered through any checks, in fact, he doesn't seem to be in too foul a mood - but he does treat you with a degree of coldness.

Tav: You seem a little pouty. Don't tell me you're sour about a few dozen dead tieflings. The drow: Not at all - the ceremony was quite lovely, I'm just finding the reception to be... Lackluster. Tav: Oh - the goblins aren't worth your company, your highness? The drow: They aren't even worth roasting for supper. To make no comment of the head-fanatic - you'd be spewing her out both ends for days, if you chose to indulge.

As long as you don't antagonize him for his diarrhea joke, you get to actually have sex with him that very night as well as trigger the romance.

As an addition - if he's in your party he will actually kill Minthara when she tries to turn against you in the middle of the night. You still have to fight all of the goblins after this, but she will have her throat slit by him during the cutscene. This means you can only recruit both of them if you knock her out at the goblin camp.

[mysterylilycheeta]

ONYX STORM REVIEW:

After 2 days of catching up on all the work I had postponed for the sake of reading OS, and organising my thoughts, I'm here with my spoiler free review of Onyx Storm. Please remember that these are my personal thoughts and opinions and you're free to agree or disagree based on your views

Rating: 3.25 stars

The Good:

The absolute lack of miscommunication between Xaden and Violet: This book is a gift for all those people who were annoyed to their wit's end by the repetitive stupid fights between Xaden and Violet in Iron Flame. They trust each other, communicate with each other and don't get mad about secrets. I was so pleasantly surprised

Ridoc: Ridoc went through such amazing character development, he easily became one of my favourite characters in the story. We saw him as only the comic relief friend till now but man, he shows such badassery in this book while still being his clown self. And, let's not forget his favourite dick jokes!

The Dragons: Anyone who knows me knows my favourite part about the series is Tairn and the other dragons. Love seeing my grumpy dad dragon, he's such a mood. We also have our sassy teenager Andarna to give him grief. I love all the moments Tairn started boasting about his lineage and his feat: he's such a dork!

Dain and Cat: I never truly hated Dain because I knew from Fourth Wing itself he never intentionally wanted to harm Violet. My only gripe with him was about breaking her trust and looking through her memories without her consent. But man, does he redeem himself. Needless to say, Dain is on my "need to protect" list. I really hated Cat in Iron Flame because she was such a stereotypical cringey evil ex and the way she attacked Violet was so crass and below the belt. She still has some shitty moments in the beginning of the book but she gets a lot better so much so that I want good things to happen to her in the next books. RY did a great job writing these two

Jealous Xaden: My o my was it a treat to see Xaden so jealous. RY fed us with those entertaining af moments. Read the book and you'll find out what I mean

Aaric: I was intrigued by Aaric in book 2 but he stepped up the game so much in this book. He is an amazing character and I'll throw hands if RY even tries to harm him in any way, istg.

The Bad:

Very mediocre worldbuilding: This might be just a timing issue, but the last fantasy book I read was the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson, and every fantasy fan knows the kind of world-building Sanderson does. Onyx Storm tries to introduce us to new places beside the continent, but it is not well done. We spend half the book in the Isle Kingdoms, yet they're not even mentioned on the map. They talk about routes to get to the kingdoms, but how am I supposed to follow them if you won't even mention them on the maps? Every Island has a god it worships and things go according to that but I think we could've had a little more information about them beforehand instead of being presented basic info right before we arrive at the next island. "We're going to said island, this is the god they believe in, here's a five point bullet lost of their customs"- NO, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT! Like I said, it might be because my last book was by Sanderson so my expectations were higher but the world felt so lacking.

Lack of Glossary: A glossary should be a must in every fantasy book, especially if you're branching out and diving deeper into worldbuilding. We are introduced to gods, islands, uprisings and groups of people we haven't even heard of before and we get hardly one or two lines about them in a chapter and then they are mentioned again 2 chapters later and we're supposed to follow. There were so many new names in OS, it was difficult to keep track of them after a while. I still don't completely understand who the Krovlan people were and what was their deal.

Lack of Basgiath: My favourite book in the series till now has been Fourth Wing and one of the biggest reasons for that was Basgiath. I loved that place and the way it felt an actual character in the story. That Basgiath charm is missing in this book. Basgiath is the biggest strength of this series, it's the reason why FW was so successful, the war college and it's deadly atmosphere, the challenges, the interpersonal relations, it was entertaining af. However as the series is progressing, it's turning into another typical romantasy involving young adults leading revolutions, making alliances, fighting wars etc. I started reading Fourth Wing because of it's setting and yet with each new book, we spend less and less time in Basgiath and it's just dampening my mood.

No real surprises: Let me be brutally honest- this book felt like a filler. Of course there are a few shocking moments with new information but it hardly hit the mark like the previous two books. There were no moments that essentially packed a punch. It's just a bunch of random sidequests to gain alliances which didn't up feeling all that meaningful because of worldbuilding problems. It also seemed like fanservice because of a lot of reasons but I won't mention them as they can be accounted as minor spoilers. Some characters died but it didn't feel impactful at all. It seemed more like Ry was just filling up the death quota because we can't have a book where no one dies

Violet and Xaden: Okay so here's the thing, I like both of them as characters and I think they make a good pair. However, I didn't ever truly feel the romance and this has been a problem since Fourth Wing. They have a shit ton of lusty moments but hardly any soft romantic domestic moments that make the relationship feel organic. I have always been disappointed by the lack of proper romantic development between these two. The problem in this book however is the dialogue- they felt so cheesy and downright cringe at times. Maybe show more and say less?? The way they keep saying nothing else matters as much and I know people are feral for how Xaden and Violet are ready to throw off the entire rebellion for each other but it irks me so much. Xaden, you are leading these people and you have accepted that responsibility. Stop endangering the lives of people you swore to protect because Violet might be in danger. She has other people to support her. Violet, don't get mad when people tell you your needs and wants will come second to Xaden's duty towards the people. He is their leader, he has to make those sacrifices, If you think that's unfair then find someone else to fill his position. You can't have the leadership position yet be each other's top priority. It might seem unfair but that is the right thing to do. I really don't feel like the two of them are fit to lead people. Agree with @thequietesthing's review about Violet's god level power feeling over dramatic and out of character at times.

The Ending: If any of you have talked to me about the book in the last few days, you'll know I'm frustrated af with the ending. It doesn't exactly feel like a well done cliffhanger, it's just plain messy. A bunch of unanswered questions to keep the reader confused and hooked for the next book but it just ruined the whole book for me. I have no issues with cliffhangers but the book should feel complete. The way Onyx Storm ended, it feels there were at least two more chapters that got deleted. It's just all over the place.

That was the review guys. I'll still wait for the next book to get published but my excitement has gone down quite a lot. I was expecting more of a Harry Potter style story where the main still occurs in the school/college itself but it seems like that isn't gonna be the case. I honestly believe this series should've been just 3 books instead of 5 but oh well, what can we say. Really agree with @justallihere and @justascrollingghost. We have almost the same complaints with the books lol P.S: The best surprise in this book: Broccoli, the kitten

[love-byers]

i’m having byler doubt rn and i can’t stop thinking about mike already knowing that will’s gay and he might’ve realized that over the few months of will being away in between s3-s4

what if the “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” scene isn’t mike projecting but him sort of having a feeling that will likes him romantically. or mike hearing from el that will is painting for a girl he likes, and then he sees will holding a painting in the airport and realizes, that’s why he was being so awkward. and before someone says “mike saw the painting after the awkward hug with will”, what if he actually saw it the moment he walked closer to them and that’s why he pointed it out right away?

and the whole “that’s because she’s my girlfriend, will” “we’re friends. we’re friends” scene. what if he was trying to reject will without being obvious about it. i know he’s like canonically oblivious but what if he’s not?

this is me asking for reassurance/proofs that counters this because it’s bothering me sm 😭 i have some claims in my head that oppose to these but i guess it’s better to hear it from others

1. if mike was suspecting will was gay in the rain fight then he's being homophobic lmao

same dude that tried to fight a homophobe for talking bad about will takes a jab at will for being gay? what changed? why did mike become mildly homophobic between s1 and s3? bc he got a girlfriend? that's not a great message to send...

and like...come on. look at his face. he's heartbroken because will just said he used to want to spend the rest of his life with mike, but not anymore, because mike has made that out to sound outlandish and clearly doesn't want that. that should be further confirming to mike that will does have feelings for him, and he reacts like this?

and if he does suspect will has feeling for him, wtf is this?? 😭 why is he so giddy about will reaffirming what once made mike think will likes him??

2.

it seems like mike had pre planned how he was going to greet will, which was with a shoulder pat. "i can't hug him, that's weird, isn't it??" which would imply that mike thinks hugging will would be romantic....why? he hugs all his other friends normally with no hesitation. and how could he have figured out will liked him between s3 and s4 if he and will barely spoke? and if that's how he treats will when he thinks will might like him, then he's an asshole! 😭😭

and if mike suspected the painting was for him, he was noticeably upset after will said it wasn't for him

he doesn't seem very happy to have confirmation will doesn't have feelings for him 😭 and he went on to be pissy the whole day because will wasn't talking to him. why is he more worried about his platonic bro than his girlfriend?

like i just said, will not giving him the painting should ease all his worries that will has feelings for him. they're just friends. and then will goes on to ignore him all day. why would he still be in the mindset that will likes him during the rink o mania fight?

and we don't have to theorize what was going on with mike between s3 and s4 and at rink o mania. he tells us

"thanks by the way."

"for what?"

"for knocking some sense into me, i mean was being a total self pitying idiot."

during the rink o mania fight, will is knocking some sense into mike. he's saying will was right about everything.

"hey also, about the last few days--"

"you don't have to say anything. i was being a total jerk to el, i deserved it."

"no. no you didn't deserve anything. listen, the last year has been weird, you know?"

mike goes straight from his behavior towards will to how he felt during their time apart. so the two are connected, clearly, since mike is telling us

"i mean max and lucas and dustin, they're great, they're great, it's just...it's hawkins it's not the same without you. and i feel like maybe i was worrying too much about el...i don't know, maybe i feel like i lost you or something."

mike was acting that way because he desperately missed will and felt like will had left a hole in his life. home didn't feel like home anymore. he was torn up inside over it. and he worried that will wasn't reaching out because of how he'd treated will over the summer (ditching him to hang out with el), and that he'd lost will because of that. he's kicking himself, hating himself because he screwed it all up. and he thinks that at the same time he is torn up missing will, feeling all these big feelings about him, will is unbothered, off making new friends. not only does this make him feel like he's feeling too much for will, but he shifts the blame onto will (because he's a self pitying idiot). he feels like it's his own fault, so he projects onto will and makes it wills fault. he doesn't reach out because he thinks will has grown up and moved on like mike had been encouraging him to do all summer, and he doesn't want will to know about all these deep feelings he's having, like will has left a hole in his life, so he doesn't reach out either. he doesn't want to come off desperate. he begins questioning the nature of his feelings towards will, worrying that it's something more than just friendship. if will doesn't care, why does he? why does he care so much?? what's wrong with him??

so he goes on defense. he is not going to let will know how he's been feeling, he's going act aloof. he's going to act like he doesn't care. we are just friends. i don't feel anything more for you, will. see? i don't even want to hug you, i am very clearly your platonic bro. see, everyone? see, el? see, jonathan? i'm straight and he's my platonic bro friend. he's making a spectacle out of it, because grappling with internalized homophobia. he feels like he needs to prove that he's straight.

however mike is a dumbass and instead of realizing that he was way too in his own head. and considering that treating will that way might hurt his feelings, he just gets angry that will isn't treating him the same. will isn't talking to him. will is acting glum. why?? how does he have the audacity to act sad?? this is all his fault in the first place!! if he hadn't gone off and forgotten about me and made me feel this way then none of this would've happened!! he's got to be doing this on purpose!!

and then in the rink o mania fight, it ticks mike off even more because now will is acting like he did nothing wrong. and then:

"well what about us?"

"what?"

uh oh. this is what mike feared. us?? what about us?? there is no us, that's a romantic thing, and we're friends, totally just friends.

"you called maybe a couple of times. it's been a year, mike. meanwhile el has like a book of letters from you."

"that's because she's my girlfriend, will!"

if mike had sent will letters, it would've been gay...? why? actual straight guys don't have to go out of their way to not be gay💀💀

"and us?"

"we're friends! we're friends!"

mike takes this as will asking what the nature of their relationship is, because that's what mike had been doing the whole time they were apart. it was already fresh in his mind. he was being hypervigilant. but that backfires, because will wasn't questioning that. he merely misses their friendship, because will thinks that's all they'll ever be. if he can never have mike romantically, he at least wants to preserve their friendship.

will never questions the nature of their relationship. he thinks he's got it all figured out. he likes mike, but mike is straight, and that's how it'll always be. they will always be just friends. meanwhile mike is still being a disaster with internalized homophobia, questioning his own feelings and projecting it onto will. he's confused and scared and messy as fuck.

but will knocked some sense into him. will made him realize that all this defensiveness and projection was hurting them. will isn't playing with him, will isn't out to get him, will hasn't moved on from him. will still cares, and mike can just be honest with him. so he is, and that's how we get the talk in wills room. mike is honest and vulnerable and puts it out there that he just misses will and wants to be best friends and stick together. and at the end of the day that's all will wants too.

and also, about mike trying to reject will by saying we're friends, again that's a pretty aggressive and homophobic-ish way to do that don't you think? if mike has will all figured out why is he being an asshole?? most people who suspect a friend has feelings for them do not go on attack mode and shoot down every advance the friend makes, even if they're just platonic. that's the behavior of someone who is projecting

here are some other posts i've made about this topic:

here

here

here

here

here

stay strong my fellow byler warrior, this battle will be over soon

[donttxtathebeach]

masterlist

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variety

Liked by yn.nolan, drewstarkey, ellefanning, and 67.7K others

Variety's #ActorsOnActors, photographed by @alexilubomirski.

Watch their full conversation at the link in bio.

drewynlover OH, MY GOSH

user wait, I thought she was doing her's with Harrison?

varitey we realized that because they are ex's, maybe we should have two people that are not as close. if you pick up what we were putting down.

user HARRIS AND YN DATED

user Yeah, a while back after she did the blackcoats daughter, they are still quite close

user guys, they figured us out 😔

user we were supposed to keep this under wraps, not out in the open 🤦🏽‍♀️

ynolan_updates I’m in shock; it was so good.

rafecam the way he consistently made sure she felt comfortable and safe the whole time I can’t take all of this

user HE KEPT CALLING HER BABY AND HONEY

user she called him love user I’m going to hold your hand when I say this…. she calls everyone love. user let me just have this one thing, ohmgeeeee

y n.nolan thank you for having me; it’s always a pleasure 📌

variety pinned this comment

drewstarkey

Liked by yn.nolan,brooke_starkey, madelyncline, and 60.9K others

drewstarkey Thank you so much, @variety, for having me. It was truly an honor to get to sit and talk with that beautiful @yn.nolan

View Comments:

brooke_starkey how does it feel to live my dream, @drewstarkey. She and I are best friends in my head.

yn.nolan @brooke_starkey You’re absolutely stunning. Next time I’m in New York, I’ll reach out to you, takeyou and to one of my favorite bars, my treat!

brooke_starkey oh my gosh, i would love that so so much

yn.nolan I'll get your number from drew

drewstarkey How do I dislike an Instagram comment? I do not intend to share you with my sister.

yn.nolan relax Drew, it's not like were dating

drewstarkey in my head were married

this comment has been deleted

user HELPPP he is so down already

yn.nolan truly loved getting to know you a little better, even if it was on camea.

drewstarkey don't worry, honey, you and i will spend a lot more time together

yn.nolan is that so starkey?

drewstarkey its not everyday you get to speak with Hollywod's most beautiful girl; I sure as hell would be crazy not to hang out with you.

yn.nolan you flatter me

user GUYSSSSS IT'S HAPPENING user again we have to act like we don't see it keep it on the dl

user yeah, you tell them

drewstarkey keep what on the dl

yn.nolan i would like to know aswell

user oh, look is that @sabrinacarpenter

sabrinacarpenter I have been summoned

yn.nolan Sab Babes, I Miss You

sabrinacarpenter hi baby love

ellefanning Not you acting like she is your best friend in the whole world... thats my place.

yn.nolan ella bean, this is not what it looks like

drewstarkey @sabrinacarpenter grab the popcorn

sabrinacarpenter i am one step ahead of you, @drewstarkey

user I have no one to talk to about this. Oh my gosh

yn.nolan

liked by dreystarkey, madelyncine,ellefanning,and 17M others

yn.nolan @variety Thank you for such an amazing opportunity, and @drewstarkey, thank you, love, for being such a grounding presence. Our actors on actors interview is now yours!

view comments

drewstarkey The pleasure was all mine, baby.

yn.nolan drew, im going to block you.

drewstarkey no, your not honey

yn.nolan @ellefanning help

ellefanning @yn.nolan you are on your own here, baby.

user not trying to tame him

user AHHHH they look so so good

user i don't know if i want him or her

dualipa you stunning little flower

yn.nolan love you, dua

user im so excited to see them all in a movie together

harrisdickinson your absolutly stunning darling

yn.nolan keep it away from me, Dickinson; we already tried this

harrisdickinson yn why this is awkward... i was taking about @drewstarkey

yn.nolan 🧍🏻‍♀️oh then proceed as you were

haileybieber gorgeous, gorgeous girl

yn.nolan 😚💋

user YN FOR RHODE

halieybieber 🙂

user WAIT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

user I love her so much

yn.nolan_updates oh we’re about to get fed

user oh my gosh, you’re right Anora press tour

madelyncline goregeous gorgeous girl

yn.nolan have you seen yourself?

carlicagrant stunner

y/n's phone

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[growling]

how do we feel about low/no empathy Wolfgang chat. He has a strong sense of justice and really wants to do right by others and his intentions aren't purposefully malicious but that does not automatically mean he has high or even usual amounts of empathy, in fact dare I say he's gonna have to be one of the least empathetic students in Eden's Garden. Damon has more empathy than him going by his inner dialogue, though that could also be sympathy or something other, I am not well-versed on Having Feelings and all. Honestly it might have been sympathy. Still 10.2% higher empathy than Wolfgang

Similiarly I propose NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) Damon and Eva. Damon is so narcissistic it's not even funny - his insecure little lines made me snort a few times in the beginning but as it kept going on and on I honestly just felt bad for him. And I'm saying this in the most positive way possible as a narcissist myself. He literally acts how I would do if I didn't know the concept of fear and an inside thought, I fully understand every single thought process that he has and conclusions he comes too (but agree with only about most of these. Damon you're so socially inept.......), I don't even have to project on him he's doing that to himself. I want to give him infinite brownies and affection and kisses directly on his mouth I will not be able to rest safely until I know he's happy. Damon my little shitcritter I am so fucking sorry the fandom mischaracterizes you so badly and treats you either as a joke or an un-nuanced asshole that hates everyone and everything. Always happens to my favourites that also happen to always act suspiciously cluster b.............

Eva is a different flavor of NPD altogether and I got less on her because I'm still figuring her out like a fun little puzzle since she doesn't have a PoV but I am. Feeling semi strongly about it. I also recall seeing some other poster hc her with BPD and hell yeah I can also adopt this into my beliefs. Love this horribly self-sabotaging specimen her arc brought me indescribable agony. Unfortunately suffers from a similar yet slightly different mischaracterization hell from Damon being that she's either a sad little victim girlboss babygirl that did nothing wrong ever or an evil heartless bitch worse than Satan himself that deserves no compassion whatsoever. My faves cannot win! So sad. Anyway I also got "Jett is not entitled to Mark's friendship and Mark is not in any way 'cruel' or 'unfair' to him for not liking him back" for my future post ideas but I am unsure as to whether the P:EG fandom is quite ready for that one yet unless I am mistaken

[callmemonster68]

SUNGHOON - Jealous ( slight smut )

Sunghoon getting jealous

Pairing: Sunghoon X FemReader

Genre: Obscenity

Warning: Contains explicit content, unprotected sex, suggestive, penetration, explicit language, climax, sex, swearing, loss of virginity, hickeys, messy make-out sessions, dirty talk, compliments, rough sex, touching bruises, handcuffs, chains, sadomasochism , masochism, brands, public sex, oral

The atmosphere was tense in Y/N's apartment. The soft music played in the background, but the sound seemed to not reach the two of them. Sunghoon was leaning against the table, arms crossed, eyes sparkling with anger as he watched Y/N fiddling with their phone.

Sunghoon: (in a cold voice) Who was that guy?

Y/N looked up, clearly confused.

Y/N: Which guy? What face? What are you talking about, Sunghoon?

Sunghoon: (narrowing his eyes) The guy you were laughing and talking with today. I saw you two at the café before you met me.

Y/N: (sighing) Ah, Minho? He just came to ask about a project. It's work-related, it has nothing to do with it.

Sunghoon let out a dry laugh, shaking his head.

Sunghoon: Ah, of course. And did you really need to laugh like that? That didn't seem like 'work stuff.'

Y/N: (raising their voice) Are you hearing what you're saying? I was being polite! I'm not going to treat people badly just because you're insecure!

The tension in the air increased, and Sunghoon's face became even more closed off. He took a few steps towards her, his eyes burning with jealousy.

Sunghoon: (low and intense) Insecure? I know you, Y/N. I know the way you smile... and that smile wasn't for him.

Y/N: (staring at him) Oh, so now you even know the meaning of my smiles? Congratulations, you are a fortune teller!

He took her by the wrist, but gently, enough to capture her attention. Their faces were close, their breaths mingled.

Sunghoon: (hoarse voice) Don't test my patience, Y/N. You know I hate this feeling... Of someone looking at you as if they had the right.

Y/N: (challenging) And you think that gives you the right to act like a crazy possessive person? You don't control me, Sunghoon.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. The music played, increasing the tension between the two. Sunghoon let out a bitter laugh and ran his hand through his hair, clearly struggling against his own feelings.

Sunghoon: (almost whispering) I just... hate the idea of losing you, you know? It consumes me.

Y/N felt her heart race. Despite everything, she knew that Sunghoon's words were genuine. He was lost in a whirlwind of emotions. She approached, gently touching his face.

Y/N: Sunghoon... you won't lose me. But you need to trust me.

He held her hand to his face, his eyes fixed on hers. Then, without warning, he pulled her into an intense kiss, filled with all the repressed feelings.

Y/N: (whispering between his lips) This doesn't solve anything...

Sunghoon: (with a crooked smile) No, but it's a start.

He picked her up, his strong hands gripping her thighs as he carried her towards the bedroom. His eyes were fixed on hers, Sunghoon's gaze was intense, almost fierce.

Sunghoon pushed the bedroom door with his foot, his expression revealing something between desire and desperation. He placed her on the bed carefully, but his movements were urgent, as if he feared she might escape.

Sunghoon: (softly, close to her ear) You are mine, Y/N. It always will be... I'll do anything to have you all to myself.

The grave tone of his voice sent a shiver down Y/N's spine. The weight of his words was palpable, laden with an obsession that both attracted and made her hesitate. He ran his fingers along the line of her face, as if he were etching every detail into his memory, before bringing his lips back to hers.

The kisses started intense, full of repressed passion, but soon became slower, deeper. Sunghoon explored every inch of her mouth, as if he wanted to claim every part of it. His hands traced paths along her waist, slowly climbing up her back, as he pulled her even closer.

Y/N closed her eyes, feeling the way he held her body, as if she were something precious, something he feared losing at any moment. But there was something more: an almost desperate need to prove how important she was.

Sunghoon: (with a hoarse voice, as his eyes slid over her) You don't understand, Y/N. Just the thought of someone near you, looking at you... I lose control. You are everything to me.

Sunghoon: (hoarse voice, as he ran his fingers along her jawline) I need you, Y/N... more than anything else.

She felt her heart race with his words, the serious and sincere tone leaving her speechless. Before she could respond, he leaned in and kissed her again, but this time the kiss was different. It was deep, intense, as if he were trying to convey everything he felt — the love, the fear, the obsession.

Sunghoon began to slide his hands over her body, his agile fingers reaching the hem of her blouse. He lifted it slightly, his movements careful yet determined, as he removed the piece of clothing. His eyes fixed on her, admiring her as if she were a work of art.

Sunghoon: (softly, almost like a whisper to himself) You are so beautiful...

Y/N felt her cheeks burn with the intensity of his gaze, but she didn't have much time to process it because he was soon leaning in again, kissing the space between her neck and shoulder, leaving a warm trail wherever his lips passed.

Meanwhile, she brought her hands to his chest, sliding her fingers over the shirt he was wearing. With a hesitant movement, she began to unbutton it, feeling the warmth of his skin under her fingers. He helped her, pulling the shirt off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor without ceremony.

The skin-to-skin contact made them both sigh. Sunghoon's hands traced every curve of her body, as if he wanted to know every detail, every inch. He slid his fingers along her waist, stopping only to unbutton her pants and slowly remove them, his eyes never leaving hers.

Sunghoon: (in a low voice, while watching her) I need you to know... how much you are mine, how much I want you.

She felt a shiver run down her spine as he spoke, the sincerity and intensity in each word being almost palpable. Sunghoon was not just in love; he was completely consumed by her.

With care, he removed the rest of her clothes, his fingers brushing against her skin in an almost reverent manner. He was taking his time, as if each piece removed was a moment for him to appreciate even more what was before him.

When she tried to pull him closer, her lips searching for his, he stopped her, holding her wrists gently.

Sunghoon: (looking deeply into her eyes) No, Y/N. Today, I'm going to show you how much you mean to me. I don't want to rush... I want you to feel everything.

His words made her swallow hard. There was something in his voice, something in his expression, that made her realize how vulnerable he was at that moment. This was not just desire; it was something deeper, almost desperate.

He kissed her again, but now his lips explored every part of her — the neck, the shoulders, the breasts. He lingered in each area, as if he wanted to leave his mark, as if he wanted her to remember that she was his.

When it was his turn to remove the rest of his own clothes, he did so calmly, his eyes fixed on hers, as if he wanted her to see everything he was willing to offer. As soon as the last pieces were discarded, he approached again, the heat of their bodies now without barriers.

He leaned over her, their fingers intertwining as he looked at her with a mixture of adoration and intensity.

Sunghoon: (whispering) You are everything I need, Y/N. Everything I will always need.

He trailed his lips down Y/N's neck, leaving a path of slow, hot kisses while his hands explored her body with reverence. Each touch seemed to carry a silent message: "You are mine." Only mine."

Sunghoon: (whispering against her skin) You are so perfect... I have no idea what I did to deserve you..

When their bodies finally united, there was a moment of pure stillness. Sunghoon closed his eyes, as if he were completely absorbing the sensation, while Y/N arched their body under his, a sigh escaping their lips.

Sunghoon: (with a hoarse voice, looking into her eyes) You have no idea what you do to me, Y/N. How much I love you... how much I want you.

Each of his movements was deliberate, full of care, but at the same time intense. He held her hands above her head, intertwining his fingers with hers, as if he wanted to keep her even closer. His eyes never left hers for a second, as if he wanted to make sure she felt everything he was feeling at that moment.

Y/N: (whispering between sighs) Sunghoon... I am yours. Always have been.

Her words seemed to ignite something in him. He leaned in to kiss her again, the kiss deep and full of passion. Each touch, each movement seemed like a declaration — he wanted to show her, without a shadow of a doubt, how important she was.

The rhythm between them gradually increased, both of them getting lost in the connection they shared. Sunghoon whispered fragmented words against her lips, praising her, saying how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, and how much he needed her.

When the final moment approached, they could both feel the climax building like a wave that could not be contained. Their gazes met again, and they held on even tighter, as if the world could collapse around them and it wouldn't matter.

Sunghoon: (almost out of breath) Stay with me, Y/N. Always...

And then, together, they reached the climax, their bodies trembling with the intensity of the moment. The room filled with a heavy silence, broken only by their irregular breathing. Sunghoon collapsed beside her, immediately pulling her into his arms, holding her as if she were his anchor.

He ran his fingers through her hair, still trying to catch his breath, while gently kissing her forehead.

Sunghoon: (softly, with a tired smile) I love you so much... You are everything to me.

Y/N nestled against him, feeling the warmth of his body and the weight of his words.

Y/N: (whispering) I love you too, Sunghoon. I will always be yours.

They remained like that, intertwined, allowing the comfortable silence to speak for them. In that moment, all insecurities, fears, and doubts seemed to have vanished, leaving only the certainty that they belonged to each other.

✿ If you don't reblog and comment, you can be sure I'll be showing up in your dreams tonight... and I won’t be as sweet as in the story ✿

[genderqueerdykes]

TW: Transphobia, intentional misgendering/mentions of abuse, gaslighting, and generally gross behavior. You asked for experiences from transmasc people, so, here I am. I'm a transmasc person. Still figuring out what kind of person that is, but... I'm transmasc, which is what matters here. I've been told a LOT of harmful things in the community, both from abusers and from friends(who I no longer talk to). This is my experience. My first real experience with all of this was from a shitty ex, who at that point controlled my life and had identified as bi since he was 12. He denied me the ability to transition (I couldn't drive myself to the doctor and had no money to pay for more than the prescription), saying that I would turn into a monster and break up with him, abuse him, become violent, etc. He pressured me into using she/her pronouns along with he/they. I used genderfluid transmasc at the time as my labels, and he used this as an excuse to proudly call me "his wife in training", saying that because I didn't bind half the time, I was practically a woman. I'm now in therapy because while the term genderfluid fits, I legitimately get panicked when I try to use it because not only did he use it against me, but people used it to... detransify me. De-masc me.

Now, I'm a feminine person in some respects. I like a good accessory and bright colors and cute things. But because I wasn't performing hypermasculinity to become "a true man", people used genderfluid as a term to say "Well, clearly you're fine with female pronouns and terms because you wear earrings/paint your nails, and genderfluid falls in the scale of woman, so I'll just call you woman." People used the term so often to de-transify me, ESPECIALLY in the community.

When out and about, it does not matter if I have he/him or they/them pins on- people, even queer people, CONSISTENTLY read me as transfeminine even though I'm the opposite. I love trans women, but that's not what I am- and to be agressively labeled female by people who mean well and aggressively labeled male in a "you're just a monster masquerading as a female" way from strangers who are transphobic feels like absolute dogshit.

I'm nervous about top surgery sometime this year or next year. I want to keep a little bit of my chest, because I'm a larger person- but I'm legitimately worried my doctor will go against my wishes and give me a bird chest or carve out too much. I want top surgery not only because it will make me feel more like myself, but because my stupid chest is what EVERYONE points to- queer or non- and says that "but you have that, shouldn't you enjoy it?"

Being labeled a faker, a potential monster in the making, as someone who's just confused, and worst of all, being labeled as someone who didn't know what my own label meant... it's worn me down. I'm not sure what to do with myself, and am in gender therapy to unpack the trauma of what other people have placed onto me, both queer and cishet alike. I have quite a few understanding, loving friends in the community- but there have been just as many people who haven't understood and try to fit me into a box until I bled.

This stuff isn't just "oh silly transmasc! That's part of the experience! You just have to deal with it!" I don't, actually. And I refuse to. I refuse to give up the things I love for other people's assumptions of my body, label or identity. Even if it hurts to fight back, I'm tired of letting transphobes inside and outside our community harm me based on what THEY think I should be. This is my story. Sorry if it's bleak, but... that's the truth. I hope it helps others see that blaming us for all the harm the community faces, and making us into your blank dolls to play with, breaks us. It's awful. Please, treat us better. We deserve better. We always have.

Thank you for letting us share our stories.

thank you for taking the time to type this out and share, i really appreciate it. this is very insightful and important. i can't believe how awful people are to you. that shouldn't be happening. i don't want to take away from your story so i'll keep it brief

people, even queer people, CONSISTENTLY read me as transfeminine even though I'm the opposite. I love trans women, but that's not what I am- and to be agressively labeled female by people who mean well and aggressively labeled male in a "you're just a monster masquerading as a female" way from strangers who are transphobic feels like absolute dogshit.

this happens so often. this is what i mean when i say that trans men and mascs are also affected by transmisogyny. many people mistake trans men and mascs for trans women and transfems. it's a real thing and we need to acknowledge it.

[dadrielle]

There won't be another Aeor now, because Aeor was a very specific kind of tragedy, wherein the gods prioritized their own survival over the survival of huge swathes of mortals. They had choice after choice after choice where they could have diverted to a more merciful path. Even in the very last moments, they could have just destroyed the Factorum Malleus and spared the rest of the city, and found another way to deal with the knowledge that had been disseminated. But they chose their own immediate security over the lives of every regular person in Aeor, every refugee and civilian and child. The Primes may love mortals, may work to protect them, but when it comes down to it, they will choose themselves (and their Betrayer kin!) every time. It is love with a very big caveat.

Two thirds of the world's population died in the Calamity because the Betrayers were initially banished, not destroyed. The gods say they cannot let any of the Betrayers die because they might need them if a bigger threat arises, but what good does that potential possible protection do Exandria if their warring wipes the world out now? Why should anyone, god or mortal, expect that the Betrayers would help fend off such a threat anyway, when they very clearly want the Primes and all mortals dead? There was so much emphasis in Downfall on how, despite it all, the Primes and Betrayers are family and the Primes cannot let that go. It's hard to take Ayden at face value when he says that they need the Betrayers, in the light of that. SILAHA says "That's all our problem. It's all about ourselves. At least I have the, well, confidence to actually accept it." And that's the truth of their motivation that their actions indicate in Downfall.

The Arch Heart and the Matron explicitly told the Hells that the world was on the cusp of another Calamity. Except for those two, when confronted with the possibility of Predathos, the gods wanted to chose, once again, to sacrifice the lives of countless mortals in order to protect themselves. The Divine Gate is meant to stop another Calamity, but now we know that they are willing to tear it down to save themselves. So Calamity is the threat that hangs over the world much more immediately than potential cosmic horrors.

I don't think anyone is out here saying that this plan with the gods becoming mortal means that there will never be any danger to Exandria again. There ARE terrible threats that exist, like the Chained Oblivion and there are almost certainly more that exist out is the cosmos that are currently unknown. Predathos might eat those or it might not, we don't actually know. There absolutely will be more evil mortals, just as there will be mortal heroes to stop them, as they always have. This is not the creation of utopia. It's the aversion of another apocalypse.

But something that struck me, at least, about Aeor, something that I think often get lost underneath all the other debate, under the focus on hubris, is the stark fact that mortal understanding grew to the point where they could create a weapon that could kill a god. That's incredible. If the gods saw mortal understanding reach so far and instead of saying "you are children and cannot comprehend and so we will strike your knowledge from the world because it is too dangerous for you," said "you are our children and you are growing up, perhaps we should help you understand" what might mortal innovation have accomplished? What solutions would mortal creativity come up with that might have surprised their creators? If the gods chose to treat mortal attempts to understand with encouragement instead of condescension, what might the Cassida Previns of the world built?

You say that level of power has to exist to fight off the next eldritch horror that arrives. Why does that power have to be concentrated in a small handful of gods above any sort of accountability? Why can't it be power distributed amongst a larger number of mortals, defending themselves? Why can't it be mortals, no longer children to be shielded but instead come into their ascendancy to fully inherit the world and its responsibilities? Why can't mortals be equal to the gods, not in the sense sought by those power-hungry mages, but as a collective, with the gods reborn among them and treating them, as it were, as adults, who might come to understand?

In the final narration for Downfall, Brennan says:

"In short, brief life can even the infinite change, realize, recognize, commit to something new, singular. To move forward on the paths of destiny and fate, changed."

And I think this choice being given to the gods to become mortal again, beyond just giving them the ability to survive at the cost of their power, is also offering them the chance to learn and grow the way mortals do again. Being mortal in their quest to destroy Aeor, ending even as it did in something horrific, did actually change them enough that they created the Divine Gate. That was a sacrifice and it was better than what was before it. But it was not enough and now that the flaws in that approach have become clear, it's time to look for another path. Mortality offers that. And I think seeing how mortality could change them further will be a hell of a story, and I'm looking forward to it.

Anyway, I don't particularly think this is going to convince you or anything, you seem pretty mad, but it's fun to talk about this stuff, and you gave me an excuse, so thanks.

[postcardsfromheapside]

I watched video clips (I had only romanced Emmrich at the time - I'm currently working towards Neve and Davrin when I'm not fucking around with DA2 again).

I get where you're coming from with the pattern part completely, but I think their issue was the content of that pattern for Lucanis. They were expecting him to act a certain way (more like the almost-kiss), and thus for there to be certain extra scenes or clips related to the romance. I've had people rail at me because they thought it was really shitty that he had the same commitment scene to Rook or Neve, that it didn't mean anything for there not to be something unique to Rook. I had to make a whole separate post about that.

To me, Lucanis having a very quiet romance route without overt flirting or sexiness makes complete sense even if you leave the demi reveal out, just from a trauma perspective.

They've built him up into this Shadow Daddy persona and he's just a weird little Italian guy who wants to make you food and troll his friends. His job is Stab but he's very good at Househusband. Let him be a pathetic wet bird. He's not a priority romance for me, I just love him a lot as a bestie and I find the way people treat him - especially in fanart and fanfic - to be very cringe and off-putting.

(and no, I don't give a fuck what anyone found in data mined files. If it's not in the game, if it doesn't get released in a DLC or an update, it's not canon and I don't care. I don't care. You weren't robbed. The writers made a decision based on who the character is, and they scrapped it. Go outside. Go outside and walk on the cold grass. If I hear about the art book or scrapped files one more time I will start chewing on my goddamn phone.)

I low-key hate adding to the Lucanis discourse at this point but like-

At some point in my insomniac scrolling last night or this morning I passed a post saying something like “I'm dissatisfied with Lucanis' romance and tired of pretending I'm not” and I really need y'all to consider that maybe you don't actually like him. You like an idea of him.

Way before the demi reveal, Mary was dropping lore hints of him being just a weird little guy.

I mean, there are other companions you could romance, heaven forfend you should consider Davrin maybe, but I just think it's not the romance that's bothering you, because it makes sense for who Lucanis is and what he's been through in his recent history.

[astriiformes]

Getting my first grad school rejection today was not ideal (not that it was something I was exactly looking forward to, but this week has sure been a week), but I am feeling somewhat soothed by the fact that I opened the email while on the way to my first independent study meeting with my favorite professor, who definitely made me feel a bit better about the whole thing. Which I especially appreciate seeing as he wrote some of my letters of rec and as a result was familiar with all my application materials, so hearing him say he still thinks I'll get in somewhere eventually means a bit more.

I think this project with him (on abnormality in the history of science) is going to be so nice because he's genuinely very excited about the topic and a great person to study it with, but also because it's very comfortable and casual, and regardless of what else happens with my applications this semester, it's nice to have a fellow academic in my corner who is already treating me a little more like a grad student than an undergrad in some significant ways. We were able to talk pretty frankly about some of the reasons this particular application might not have worked out, and then move on to chatting about what readings we wanted to do this week. I even recommended a new book to him that he got very excited about, which was fun since it's one very related to my PhD thesis proposal, but also to a class that he teaches.

I don't know. I'm still very stressed and will remain so until I've heard back from everywhere, and then I'll be a different kind of stressed (regardless of what I hear, honestly). But I think that rounding out my final year of undergrad with something like this--where I can process some of my feelings about it with someone who's been there, and who also treats me like I actually know things about my research topics--is going to help a lot, and I am feeling particularly grateful for supportive mentors today.

[fisgirlblog]

˗ˋ ୨ Where did kindness go? (a random rant) ୧ ˊ˗

Growing up, everyone always talks about being kind. We are taught to treat each other with kindness and respect. But very quickly, we realize how mean kids are. And it doesn't change when you get older, it only gets worse.

Today, I was wearing this cute outfit, and it was a new style for me so I was scared on how people would react to it. I wanted to try out what being scene for a day would be like! So I teased my hair, put on my white leg warmers and my coolest 2000's shirt that I own. When I walked over to my friends and sat down, two of them immediately looked at me and chuckled. When I was looking down at my legs, they kept looking at me and then laughing. I looked up at them and immediately they looked at each other and tried not to laugh.

Why must we make fun of others for not looking like us? Yes, I can be judgemental. Yes, I get all the normal teenage, typical, mean girl things. But I save that shit till I get home. And I'm asking that we all do the same. We don't know how much that could hurt someone.

I just get so pissed off when I see others excluding people that are supposed to be their friends or when people decide to all gang up on someone. At the end of the day, we should all just be kind to each other and treat each other the way we want to be treated.

(sorry for this random ass rant)

[alexdswfan]

Hange and Levi's first meeting in No Regrets and what it means to Levi

I'd like to talk about a scene in No Regrets that gets brought up sometimes by certain people in the fandom, which is Levi and Hange's first meeting, but I don't think fandom talks enough about the emotional impact this scene must've had on Levi, or why that first meeting is so important to him. This scene always manages to make me feel emotional no matter how many times I think about it, hence why it's my favourite part of the manga, because for the first time since Levi, Furlan and Isabel got in the Survey Corps, someone treated them with kindness and didn't look down on them.

The first thing we can notice from the way Hange approached them is how genuine and excited Hange is with what they achieved with the Titan, making sure to include them all in the achievement and not only Levi as seen here by how Isabel tells Hange that their group is amazing and Hange agreeing with her.

Hange is interested in getting to know more about Levi's strength, but it's in a way where they want to learn from him and get taught by him rather than in an idea of using his strength as a tool. By bringing the other Scouts in the conversation as seen below, Hange encourages Levi to teach them his tricks so they can all have better chances of survival and also kill Titans more efficiently from now on.

Hange wants to get to know Levi as a person first and foremost, which does impact Levi who hasn't really met anyone in the Survey Corps until that point to be interested in himself as a person and not just as a tool, and in his friends too as he's inseparable from them. Hange doesn't forget about them and even includes them in the conversation in their own easygoing way as seen in this panel.

Continuing on this idea, one of the most important parts of this scene is how Hange isn't only friendly with Levi, but they're friendly with Isabel and Furlan too, going so far as to give Isabel a treat for the start of their new friendship. It might not mean much, but for people who recently left the Underground where getting treats was probably a luxury or at best hard to come by, Hange's action will impact them far more than some people might realize. These three have constantly been called thugs or have been disrespected until they showed their technical prowess with Titans during their first expedition, so to see Hange push past that barrier by wanting a genuine friendship with them is such a contrast to the way they have been treated by the others all this time. And even when Levi is curt with Hange, they don't give up, inviting them all to a meal after the expedition is over, which shows how much Hange wants to get to know them better as people, and not only as soldiers skilled with ODM gear.

I think what impacted Levi the most out of that exchange wasn't necessarily that Hange was kind with him. It's definitely important, but when we know how much Levi cares about the ones he loves, how he values their lives much more than his own, it's that Hange was so kind with his friends that really impacted him the most, and I don't think fandom talks enough about it. How affected Levi must've been by Hange's sheer kindness without expecting anything in return from him in a world where that concept simply didn't exist. Levi was being kind with others, but this is the first time we see someone else that isn't part of his group be kind to him in return. I think what Hange did that day for him and his friends meant a lot more to Levi than we realize. Someone in the Survey Corps finally treated them as they should've always been treated, with respect and kindness and not with disdain or even coercion. And Hange isn't bothered by his refusal to communicate with them as seen by Furlan's reply here: "Anyway, Hange doesn't seem particularly bothered."

They respect his boundaries when Levi doesn't feel like answering since he doesn't want to get attached to new people (we know how that plan failed in retrospect, but he still tried), and that's because Hange doesn't try to force anything out of him. They tried and he didn't want to engage, that was fine with them, they'll still want to be his friend in the future regardless of Levi's answer. And I don't think fandom gives enough credit to Hange in this scene.

This scene will forever remain my favourite in No Regrets because it shows just how incredibly kind and friendly Hange was with Levi since the very beginning. Yes, this has to do with Hange's personality, that it's just like them to be attracted by the new outsiders or misfits and try to befriend them, but the important part is that someone at least tried. And it makes total sense how out of everyone we know, it had to be Hange to carry out that role. Someone caring as much about his friends as Levi simply cannot be hated by him. This scene actually destroys that claim even more, because by this definition, Levi would have to hate the first person in the Survey Corps to actually be friendly with his friends, the most important people in his life at that moment in time. It's again completely nonsensical to say that, and I do think the people who keep saying it either have forgotten this scene exists or they'd rather ignore it because it wasn't included in the OVA. But regardless of the reason, the fact remains this scene is part of the No Regrets manga and is important to delve even further into the relationship of Levi and Hange as it presents the blueprint of their relationship. Supportive and caring for each other until the very end.

Edit: I want to add that Levi definitely felt suspicious towards Hange's kindness at first since genuine kindness doesn't exist in his world. Coming from the Underground, he has all the reasons to be suspicious of Hange (as people have pointed it out in the reblogs). That being said, Hange's intention was to be friendly with him without wanting anything in return from that friendship, and I do think Levi was more appreciative of the whole exchange later in time when he got to learn Hange better. I struggle to say that someone who later in the story becomes one of his closest friends tried to be manipulative with him at the beginning of their relationship like the man with glasses in Bad Boy. Levi would never try to befriend such a person in my opinion. But we all know how their relationship grew instead, where their communication skills are beyond anything we've seen in the manga, so in the end, Hange's intention of becoming his friend proved to be genuine despite Levi's first suspicions.

[theeternalbanquett]

Crystalline Scars

The Witch cocked her head to the side, unsure if she should get involved.

A Doll knelt in the middle of the road. Perfectly Still, serene as can be. It didn't react to the honking and swerving of cars around it.

An unusual sight, for sure.

Well there has to be a reason. Either way it's not my problem.

She turned to leave.

A thunderous crash. A sickening shattering noise. The silent screams of a Doll who can only remain frozen in place as its body is crushed into a fine powder between two metal beasts.

She whirled back towards the road and ran towards the accident.

Oh thank goodness it's not as bad as I thought. She lifted what was left of it into her arms

The Doll was in poor shape, but it wasn't completely destroyed like she assumed. It was missing both of its lower legs and half its torso, but the core was intact. It could be rebuilt.

It was a Beautiful thing, made up of emerald, ruby, and sapphire held together in a golden wire frame. Gently pulsating with golden light. The prettiest heartbeat she ever had the pleasure of seeing.

"...please leave this one here."

She forced herself to look away from the transfixing light. "What? No. Where's that ones witch?"

"Miss told this to kneel here and not move until she gets back. This one will already be in trouble for being broken."

Her hands clenched in barely restrained anger. She had heard of these kinds of witches before, those who treat their Dolls in horrific ways. Like less than the dirt beneath their feet. Toys to be played with until they shatter and break.

Some Witches don't deserve Dolls.

"I'm not going to leave that one in the street" Seeing the Doll start to protest she cut it off "I'm not listening to any argument that one might make, the witch is going to find any excuse to be angry at it until it sits there and dies quietly. If that is what it wants then I will put it down right now, but it has to look me in the eyes and tell me it wants to die today. I'll at least do it courtesy of making it quick and painless. "

It's silver eyes looked away for a moment, then it shook its head.

"no" it said softly "this one does not want to die today."

"Good. Now tell me where I can find that ones witch

----

The Witch was satisfied.

With more than a few threats the Dolls ownership was transferred over to her. She'd be sure to put in a report tomorrow with a recommendation that the other witch be restricted from doll ownership in the future. It won't do much but at least there'll be a record of what happened today. For now though..

"How are those parts holding up?" The Doll had some spares from its old mistress attached before they left. Nothing permanent by any means, just barely good enough to make it home on. She wouldn't be surprised if that witch grabbed the worst ones out of spite.

"They're holding Miss. This one estimates another hour or two before the temporary enchantments fail"

"Good thing we're here then."

She stopped in front of a brick townhouse. The front door swung open with a gesture and she strode across the threshold. The Doll did not follow.

"It can come in, it's that ones home too now."

The Doll lit up when she said that, its core shining through its blouse.

Gods what did she do to it? For it to be that easy to bring it extreme happiness..

It walked it and shut the door behind it. Then it waited expectantly.

"Yes?"

"this one is waiting."

"What for? It can do what it wants." She never owned a Doll before, never saw any need for one. Unfortunately that meant she didn't know what to do really with the Doll in front of her.

It struggled for a moment, clearly looking conflicted, so she suppressed a sigh and said "That one can draw the both of us a bath, we need to clean off all debris anyway before I do the Regrowth spell."

It beamed at her again, then awkwardly shuffled towards the room she had indicated while speaking.

Yeah those legs are intentionally the wrong size.

She grabbed towels out of the linen closet in the hall then followed it in.

---

The tub was closed to a smaller sized hot tub, and set into the ground. The walls were a gentle purple, with a flowing mural that bled into the floor. The Doll was fidgeting, but the hot water was running as she asked.

"I appreciate that one for getting things ready, thanks for being a good doll." It flinched as she patted it on the head but relaxed into the touch once nothing else happened.

"this one didn't do anything.. it was already on and running ..."

Oh. She had forgotten about that spell. "The House likes to be helpful too. That one did well by waiting here for me. " The Doll didn't seem convinced it wasn't in trouble but it nodded anyway.

She started to undress herself but partway through The Doll took over. She let it, then got into the bath.

She had to tell The Doll it was okay to bathe at the same time as her, and as The Doll undressed then got into the water she noticed a faint glimmering in the porcelain torso of its body. "May I?" She wanted a closer look.

It nodded, and obliged her.

She stared at it for a while before it clicked. "Oh Gods..."

It was an ultra fine webbing of cracks that radiated out from its back throughout the entirety of its remaining body. As if instead of using Regrowth it's previous witch decided to painstakingly put each piece back into place by hand before using some sort of crystal to hold the pieces together.

It had to have been an extraordinarily painful process. It must still be so, so painful. It was only partially sealed, each countless edge had to feel like a raw wound being scraped against a rock over and over and over again..

She took a deep breath, attempting to leash her anger before she scared The Doll with the force of it. "I can fix this if that one wants to live without it." She lightly traced the largest of the cracks, likely made worse by the impact of the car earlier. A blue light followed her touch "However I won't make that choice for it, and I'll always be available to remove this if that one decides it wants these gone."

It shivered at her touch, and shook its head. Good, it doesn't seem as afraid of me anymore.

"I understand." She dropped her hand "Well, let's get it ready for Regrowth."

She started by sitting The Doll down on the ledge in the tub, then removed its legs. Next she managed to work the patched sections of the torso out, exposing the core of The Doll once again. The water scattered the gentle pulse of the light from its core, and like earlier The Witch almost lost herself in the Beauty of it.

She tore her eyes away from it and focused on getting the grime out of the internals. It looked like the previous witch never bothered, you could see shards of broken porcelain on the inside of its chest cavity sticking to various unknown substances.

For the third time tonight she found herself wishing violence upon the previous witch.

The Doll was locked in place as she worked, its eyes closed. The only thing betraying its nervousness was the increasingly quick pulses of light radiating from its core.

And then, she was done.

"The hard part is over now. Don't panic."

She stood up and muttered under her breath for a moment. The Doll floated gently upwards, then rotated until it looked like it was laying on an invisible table above the bathing pool.

Its eyes were wide, but it did not panic.

The Witch smiled and patted its head again. "That one is being so brave." She closed her eyes and Called porcelain and all of her gemstones from her storage.

Her Doll was going to have a Beautiful Vessel to match its Core

---

True to her word she didn't get rid of the cracks.

The Doll stood in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing in wonder at the new Vessel it has been given.

The cracks still spider webbed out, but now they were properly inlaid with sapphire. It was no longer agonizing to move.

Its chest was embedded with rubies, yellow topaz, and emerald in the shape of a heart.

Its legs also now had bands of topaz running up them, its hands and arms had ruby shards embedded so that it sparkled in the light.

It was a walking piece of art. Its happiness would make all of the gems within it glow, sometimes blindingly so.

It truly was Beautiful now.

And its Witch refused to let it forget that.