#and doesn't hurt kids
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2.6 Spoilers
Oh really? Because that's literally the opposite of what he did the last time we saw him. He's canonically a character who shot a kid in the face and then run away from the IPC.
We saw him shoot more kids than "IPC lackeys." And we saw Luka fight more "IPC lackeys" than Boothill did.
Are the writers mocking us? Are they deliberately bringing our attention to it?
I'm sorry, but I still don't understand what the writers are doing with Boothill. I mean, is it a thing now? Is it a running joke at the expense of a good character? Him talking about how he hates the IPC to then do nothing about them when the chance arises?
We can discuss whether death threats and being shot in the face is a valid way to help a teen suffering from a severe mental disorder, but the fact remains—the only person we saw him actually shoot (by the moment of that dialogue) was an innocent kid. And of all the IPC people we saw him meet this far, he became friends with one high-ranking executive, ignored two other high-ranking executives and their goons, nonlethally incapacitated a couple of bodyguards, and just ran away from some IPC cops.
Somebody might object: he's a weird guy, but he's smart and savvy in his own way. Just attacking all the IPC people he meets wouldn't benefit him; he wants to get that one particular guy who's responsible for his tragic backstory. Except that's not what he said in the dialog I posted in the beginning (about killing IPC lakeys). And let's not forget that he destroyed Luka's pristhetic arm just for having an IPC logo on it (not because Luka's a fan of the IPC but because Topaz kind of manipulated him into getting this prosthetic). BTW, despite being enhanced, it's still a prosthetic. For the arm Luka lost protecting a child from monsters. Boothill showed more hatred towards Luka's prosthetic than towards any IPC pesron we saw him encounter so far.
Is it because he's a popular character and the writers feel that the fans wouldn't notice the sloppy writing?
The weirdest thing is that the game kind of admits that him shooting Luka was the wrong thing to do. He gets scolded by Argenti, admits that he was wrong, and apologizes to Luka. So is it character development?… Did he just now realize that he should fight the IPC instead of some random kids?
And excuse me, but I'm glad that this quest had two major locations. And there was probably a reason why the screenwriters didn't let Boothill into the university. A trigger-happy man (whom we just saw shooting a kid in the face) armed with a gun running around a school and pulling his gun on innocent students isn't a picture that I need from a lighthearted gatcha game.
(BTW, is a silly little quest about people turning into monkeys and saying "bana" a good time and place to delve into characters' tragic backstories? Especially when one of them is sporting the mother of all wedgies. I mean, Rappa's story is the most grotesquely nightmarish of all we've seen this far, and it explains why she retreated into her imaginary world of Ninjas, but it doesn't work as well as it could when I keep thinking of Borat every time I see her)
#my stuff#honkai star rail#boothill#luka hsr#rappa#yeah it's me again#I'm sorry#I already made a post about him shooting luka#and a lot of people were kind to explain how they understood that situation differently#but him bragging about how he shoots the ipc lackeys#and doesn't hurt kids#just made it worse#hsr 2.6#hsr spoilers
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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Perceptive kid, I wonder just how much they pretend not to overhear.
#ignooore that a5 bonnie doesnt get the nice resolved versions of their discussions with sif.. i still think they can navigate it eventually#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#the dialogue in this kicked my asssss. trying to balance loop's evasiveness and layered meaning...#to spell it out: it's not that loop is actually *that* worried they'll hurt bonnie. it's that they think siffrin is being a fucking idiot#and being extremely sloppy in their protection of their party by trusting them to not be a loose cannon. THEY simply wouldn't#be that irresponsible if it were them!!! hmph!!! ... because they care. and because they maybe Are a little worried.#they don't want that responsibility. they gave that all up. stop making them responsible again. stop stop stop#and as for the other half of the meaning here: get called out idiot. not on purpose of course. bonnie doesn't know (yet).#but it's a brisk reminder of the hypocrisy (since even if loop makes sly reference to their identity to sif all the time... one must wonder#how often it actually sinks in that that's true....? it must be hard to get your head around when you refuse to admit that your habits and#demeanor have changed so drastically since then. like wtf thats not what i would do! clearly a different guy ! faker !! and yet...)#but yeah idk i think about loop and bonnie's relationship a lot. the one party member i dont think loop could ever bring themselves to be#mean to. because cmon. thats a kid. but still... the emotional distance probably stings even worse than usual.#and once bonnie finds out.... ! well. that emotional distance probably stings. even worse. than usual.
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i so badly want one of those fic examinations of steve's relationship with joyce and hopper but solely through eddie's pov like hear me out
steve and eddie chat a lot in the upside down (and later in the hospital, when they learn hop is alive). steve has taken charge of filling eddie in on the rest of their of-age crew without the kids butting in. he never mentions his own parents, but he talks about the rest of the party's a lot, especially joyce and hopper. eddie knows what it's like to desperately want someone to be your parent and trying to hide it from his own childhood, when he would try to be cool about wayne dropping him off at his dad's house. steve obviously adores joyce and hopper, thinks the world of them and legitimately looks up to them.
eddie isn't sure what he expects from a cop who came back to life and the world's most determined housewife, but he's excited to meet them as someone steve loves.
cue eddie's horror when he realizes that neither of them really feel much for steve rather than annoyance and vague distrust. that joyce trusts will with eddie, an accused murderer, in a heartbeat and still hesitates to leave him with steve. that hopper brushes off every ounce of steve's hero worship and joy.
he tries to broach the topic with steve, gently, and is heartbroken when steve genuinely has no idea what he's talking about. and not because he's oblivious, but because steve thinks that's what he deserves. he thinks that's the parental love that someone who was an asshole in high school needs, because that's what would make him a good person. he needs people to call him out constantly, obviously, because why else would they keep doing it? why would nancy? at least they're here. at least they're not ignoring him. at least they're not forcing him into a box. they just want him to be better.
like, this is the man who thanked a girl for calling him bullshit and telling him she never loved him. he doesn't Know that's not how you're supposed to handle things. no one ever taught him that.
and now eddie's gotta figure out how he can teach steve how to be loved the right way without outing himself and his huge crush on his love-starved dork of a friend.
#shut up az#steddie#i just had the flash of eddie in a hospital bed staring up at hopper and the way he talks to steve in horror#like hopper saying something off the cuff about how he's not surprised there was so much collateral with steve in charge#and eddie thinking about steve always putting himself in harm's way#and the way steve got mauled by bats way before eddie did and then KEPT. GOING. but no one is mentioning that#no one is mentioning that steve was the first one of their group physically hurt by this.#and steve is just nodding like he agrees and eddie doesn't want to be rude bc these ppl are obviously Important to his friends#and then Mike comes in later and says something Mike-y and Eddie snaps at him#then he has to apologize because Mike is a stupid kid who loves Steve in his own way#and Eddie shouldn't blame him for the behavior of adults who should no better just because Mike is an easier target#anyway Eddie doesn't know how to have parents right either so he ropes Jeff and Lucas and Gareth and Robin into OP: Teach Steve Self-Worth
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when the angels would hear sam devil's-future-vessel winchester praying did they ever get second-hand embarrassment
and they’re looking at dean like are we sure that these two aren’t meant to be swapped
#him growing up feeling like there's something Wrong with him and all he wants is to be Good#like oh honey....#this kid doesn't even know#hard to watch#a bit cringe tbh#someday i'm gonna run away and become a lawyer and help people without hurting anyone!#*figuratively pats head* *nervously shifting eyes* (all 1000 of them) okay sweetie that's nice#sam winchester#sam and faith
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❝Let's go talk somewhere else.❞
FIRST KANAPHAN as KANT PATTANAWAT and KHAOTUNG THANAWAT as BISON episode 4 of THE HEART KILLERS
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#kantbison#gmmtv series#gmmtv bl#thai bl#mlm#thkedit#th: the heart killers#bibi gifs#i want to talk about this scene and i barely make any sense but still#bison went to kant's place with an agenda. he wanted to seek him out to call him out on the things he was hiding from him#and make him questions that he's already suspicious of the answers#but the moment he sees babe's bruises he drops his own issues to go on babe side quest (that i really liked)#maybe he was deflecting and just buying himself time to avoid continuing the kant conversation? not likely bc again he's on a mission but o#but he took a glimpse at some purple's in this kid's body that he doesn't even know well and went on you know what there are more important#matters for us to attend to let's put a pin on this#i'm not team babe is gonna die but i do think that if anything were to happen to him neither kant or bison would allow that#as in they would actively put themselves in harms way to prevent it from happening (and i'm aware it's wishful thinking and speculative but#even if bison didn't do that there's no way kant would stay with him knowing that he'd cause babe harm indirectly or otherwise#i'm also just a sucker for person a get hurt in front of person b type of dynamic)#they are morally grey characters who do morally grey things to have a positive-ish outcome (or so they think)
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Thinking about Cas roped into a little kids teaparty while they're investigating a case and being firmly told he's a princess and a plastic crown slapped onto his head and Dean checks in on him saying "hey you wanna come to [next investigation scene]?" And all the kids go noooooo bc they love Cas bc he's Weird and very serious and patient with them about their games which is very funny to them and he pays focused attention which almost always makes kids happy.
And Cas, very solemn, goes "I'm a princess now Dean, I need to oversee my kingdom's affairs". And it becomes a comedy C plot of Cas n the kids fantasy game getting really politically detailed and fucked up while the boys do all the investigation work. Maybe there's some cut-betweens of the kids fantasy violence of smashing dolls together and Sam n Dean getting thrown around.
#the joke is how engaged he is in the game not that he's a princess#he's a princess bc he'd make a cute princess is all#i think cas IS good with kids but it's not quite in the way that's depicted in the show when he talks to that one little girl with Hannah#he's good with kids because he gives a lot of attention and would let them do whatever play they needed to and would stop them getting hurt#but would let them try difficult things rather thab do things for them#and he's remarkably patient unless it's with someone he already doesn't like
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How does that first encounter go down between them in your Spitfire AU? I imagine some real conflicting emotions on all sides!
I would love to hear you ramble!! ❤️
*cracks knuckles* Alright, let's do this.
As far as the world is concerned, Lu Ten II doesn't exist and the Royal Bloodline ends with Princess Azula. The little kid that follows Prince Zuko everywhere? That's Ten Ten, an orphaned stowaway his Crew found and adopted for some weird reason no-one ever questions—the kid is just that lovable.
(It helps, honestly, that Lu Ten II is a carbon-copy of poor, forgotten Ursa. No one would ever think to connect him with Fire Lord Ozai, long may he reign.)
Little Ten Ten loves to run off when the Crew is on shore leave. He gets into trouble sometimes, but only because of his chronic inability to look away from people who need help (it makes Zuzu both so proud and so shouty-because-he's-worried. It's fun until it isn't).
By now the Crew knows not to panic when the kid goes missing for a couple of hours in a harbor town—which is why no one noticed Ten Ten's disappearance until it was too late.
"Could someone please explain to me," what starts as a mutter becomes a shout as anxiety takes over Sokka, "why on earth did we go into town to buy necessary, highly specific supplies, and returned—not only with a stolen waterbending scroll—stolen! From pirates, Katara!—but with a Fire Nation-looking KID?!"
While Ten Ten is having the time of his life goofing with Aang, out-sassing why-is-this-happening-to-me Sokka, and melting Katara's heart—Zuko is losing his mind, sanity, and temper because how on Agni's name do you lose a Prince of your nation?
But, sir, he's like three-feet-tall—
HOW, JEE?!
Needless to say, the pirates kidnap the pretty waterbending thief and her kid with the sharp tongue and fancy-looking clothes. Which turns out to be a Bad Idea™ because, well, a skinny guy from the watertribes and his way-too-young-to-be-bald companion? They can absolutely deal with them.
A Crew's worth of murderous Fire Nation soldiers lead by the unforgiving, terrifying, bloodthirsty Prince?
They are not ready for that.
#dema answers#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#Spitfire AU#Lu Ten II#the gaang#atla sokka#atla aang#atla katara#the waterbending scroll#In which Zuko loses his kid and goes full Sozin on the pirates#Which—understandable#Imagine the Gaang just standing by and looking befuddled during the whole thing#“Who on earth is this guy and why is he—oh he's your big brother? Can't really see the resemblance—what do they mean he's THE PRINCE?!”#Cue Sokka passing out (he did NOT faint) Katara cursing her (un)lucky stars and Aang trying to become friends with the bloodthirsty warrior#The battle is over quickly. Now the pirates are gone and Zuko just stands there for a minute straight scowling and breathing heavily.#And then he snaps out of it and runs towards a beaming Ten Ten and just bear-hugs the kid like he's the only thing Zuko has left.#Saying things like “I was so worried” and “please don't ever do that again” and “are you okay? Did they hurt you?” and “I love you Spitfire”#And the Gaang just...understands#He's not a bloodthirsty villain looking for a fight. He's a terrified big brother who would do anything to protect his sibling.#Zuko doesn't say anything to them that night. He recognises the Avatar immediately (those tattoos are not subtle). But he just doesn't care.#They protected and took care of Spitfire. Even if they didn't have to. Even if they knew what he was (what nation he belongs to).#And he's thankful. He still wants to kill someone—but he's thankful.#So he looks at each of them in solemn contemplation. He nods. He takes Lu Ten II in his arms and leaves.#And the Gaang is left wondering what just happened and what will this mean for them in the future.#(Ten Ten doesn't shut up about them for ages. He tells Zuko stories about the funny arrow guy and Grump and the girl with the pretty smile)#(And Zuko doesn't quite know what to do with that)#(So he just smiles and changes the subject when Spitfire says that he'd really like for Zuzu to meet his new friends)#(Zuko isn't ready for that—not yet)
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Cinch had three charges in her care once, Celestia entrusted her with the day-to-day care of Prince Blueblood, the new Princess Cadence and her student Sunset Shimmer - running a kingdom is difficult enough alone without three young ponies to look after - so when Celestia is absent (often) that means Cinch was in charge of these three ponies. And while the matron of the castle was always rigid about rules and wanted her three charges to uphold her reputation and to build their own budding reputations high, she cared about them very much. You'd have to, spending your time with the same three young ponies for so long, guiding and teaching them to be their best...
By the time Ditzy came into the picture, Cinch was down to two charges. She refused to fail them the way she failed...
Well, with one down, there were two left and she cared so much she wouldn't let anyone ruin them, especially not themselves. Surely they would come to realize Cinch was only helping.
#my sketches#my little pony#mlp#equestria girls#eqg#sunset shimmer#abacus cinch#Princess Celestia#prince blueblood#ditzy doo#princess cadence#mlp fim#mlpfim#mlp g4#my little pony friendship is magic#swap six#side stars au#(Doubt anyone will read the tags but if you do some bonus lore:#Sunset leaving meant Celestia decided to take over caring for her new student completely to try and fix her mistakes#so that's why Twilight isn't Cinch's responsibility and why she doesn't care for that one and whatever happens to her#but if Cinch was in the picture for Twilight she would NOT approve of her actions#not morally speaking Cinch is pretty firmly amoral#but Twilight would probably be a humiliating blight on her already tenuous reputation#so y'know - that's why Cinch is bothered with Blueblood and Cadence but not Twily)#Cinch is not a good person and she will not be receiving a redemption once things fall apart - she definitely screwed up these kids#but she does legitimately care about them its just she is such a damaged old mare that her help hurts them more often - her redemption#if she gets one - will definitely be therapy or sumn...#(also sorry for the art absence losing a big platform depressed me and also I'm a busy person but fuck it we ball)
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I'm still in bed so apologies if this is incoherent but. I was thinking about how Binghe is often watching SQQ's reactions really closely to better adapt his behavior to what SQQ wants/needs, and I can't help but wonder if that's something originating from Binghe's history of abuse. Binghe is stated to be very clever and perceptive, and I get the impression that he trained those skills on trying to track SQQ's (especially original SQQ's) moods. It's not uncommon for abused kids to become hypervigilant when it comes to the moods of the adults around them, and it would make sense if he was especially observant around original SQQ so he could avoid additional punishment brought out by SQQ's bad moods
When Shen Yuan took over, he probably had to completely adjust the way he'd been reading SQQ's moods (more evidence that he knows damn well that this is not his original shizun) and though he likely got to relax a bit after realizing SQQ was no longer going to abuse him, that habit is hard to break. SQQ definitely doesn't make it easy for him since he's often intentionally hiding how he feels, but Binghe probably got good at telling this is how he looks when he's happy, when he's tired, when he's annoyed, etc.
Which probably made the Endless Abyss betrayal even worse! He thought he'd gotten so good at understanding his shizun, but it turns out he didn't understand at all. After he escapes the Abyss, he's trying so hard to be what SQQ wants, trying so hard to figure out what he wants him to be, but unfortunately for him, SQQ is an unpredictable motherfucker who thinks emotional honesty might kill him, so Binghe has his work cut out for him when it comes to figuring out what SQQ wants! But he's nothing if not a dedicated study, which is why we see him again and again watching SQQ's reactions so carefully and adjusting like "is this what he wants? Maybe this instead?"
#svsss#luo binghe#i love bingqiu so much but i think we need to acknowledge the way binghe's abuse has affected him more often!#deep down binghe is ultimately an abused kid trying to understand#and though SY!SQQ is never going to abuse him the way the original goods did#he is still really unpredictable and either doesn't want to or CAN'T reveal why he does the things he does#because of the system's restraints or his own fears based on PIDW#but that unpredictability makes things really difficult for binghe#who just wants sqq to love him! and he wants to figure out how he needs to be so that sqq is happy with him!#ouuughhhhhh their miscommunication it hurts me
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The GIW made a mistake when they went after Phantom. They made yet another upon venturing into the darkened alleys. They made their last when they harmed the ghostling. Gotham is a viscous, vengeful being, and their guardians just as much.
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#eldritch batman#eldritch robin#spirit guardians#gotham#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton#GIW#guys in white#danny phantom au#Good thing Danny's eyes are closed#Robin will hold his hand and help bandage him up while Batblob has a meal#Batblob curls around his ghostlings and coos once they've been comforted#It's the first time Danny has called him dad!#He's so happy about it#Very distressed he's hurt though#He still remembers lil baby Robin-Jason#Doesn't want to lose another kid#art#comic#slight blood#dcxdp
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The Judoflip in HOO
Do you know what always bewildered me? The judoflip scene in HOO. Not only did Annabeth unexpectedly slam Percy (her boyfriend, not an enemy) on the hard ground with her knees pressed to his chest and her arm to his throat as she threated him to never leave her, but also Percy was slammed to the ground ON HIS BACK WHERE HIS MORTAL SPOT ONCE WAS!!! Annabeth didn't know that he didn't have the curse anymore. That could have easily killed him! One misplaced rock could have hit the small of his back, and he would be DEAD!
Not only was this an abusive and concerning reaction to slam Percy on the ground, but it really shows how much Percy's fatal flaw being loyalty can not see how this is WRONG because he laughed! You don't hit your partner if they're being stupid; you don't elbow them in the ribs if they can't guess what you're thinking; you don't kick them in the shins to shut up. AND YOU DON'T JUDOFLIP YOUR PARTNER FOR BEING KIDNAPPED!!!
This isn't a romantic or healthy relationship. It's toxic and unhealthy codependent where Percy will give and give, and Annabeth will take and take until Percy has nothing left.
#anti annabeth#anti percabeth#anti annabeth chase#percy jackson rant#pjo annabeth#pjo percy#percy jackson#fatal flaws#percy jackson deserves better#percy jackson defense squad#heroes of olympus#pjo hoo#hoo#i hate annabeth#annabeth chase#annabeth need consequences to her actions#you don't hurt your partner#she could have killed him!#pjo#annabeth chase bashing#percy jackson and the olympians#annabeth's fatal flaw is pride#that means she never apologizes#that means she can never be wrong#that means that she thinks she's better than everyone#and percy's fatal flaw is personal loyalty#and his loyalty is to annabeth#he will never call her out on her behaviors#not only was he trained not to as a kid by gabe#by he doesn't know that it's an unhelathy relationship
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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I wish there were more meaningful insights into Wyll's relationship with his father that didn't turn into "lol daddy kink amirite" or "this is why we should kill Ulder"
#twilitalks#I'm just going to holler this into the void and not any of the fandom tags#sometimes your dad is a stoic traumatized dude who hasn't gone to therapy and loves his kids but Isn't Very Good At It#that doesn't excuse the way he's hurt his kids or make him a horrible irredeemable person it just makes him A Person#you can love someone and still be angry and hurt at them for what they did to you#can you tell I relate to Wyll a lot in this regard
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Finally finishing totk
#Totk#Art#Comic#Link#This one gets main blog privileges lololol#Context: I had beat 1 dungeon and promised my buddy not to progress without them. I was just filling out the map and these guys appeared#Totk spoilers in the tags#Okay so here's my totk story because it hurts everyone I tell including myself#First time I played totk I got really fed up with the tutorial. It would just never end.#I got so fed up with it in fact... I never did the story. At all!#My buddy wanted to watch me do the story but we kept missing each other#So I ended up avoiding anything even tangentially related to plot#I never met any characters. Never even knew there were bosses and dungeons. Never entered the castle#And one time my buddy told me there was the awesome boss in the depths I could fight-- a king dragon. Woaaahhh#I made my way over there and was so ready for this epic battle and ended up killing it in 5 seconds. I was too powerful 😂#Keep in mind I did NO DUNGEONS and had grinded up the dynamic difficulty entirely through common enemies to the point of silver lynels#So yeah I stopped playing because I realized I was way too overpowered to start the story#So I started all over again. Finally doing totk the Intended Way™#Uhh... Doing one single dungeon raised the difficulty to the point of black hoglins appearing?? What???#I'm basically rushing every dungeon (I just finished the second one) without preparing at all or doing any shrines#(I killed colgera while dying from cold damage at 4 hearts because I ran out of cold res LMFAO)#So this is really testing my Zelda skillz. It's very fun.#Also. During the first dungeon. I was so obsessed with the kid I almost looked up how I could keep him as my companion#My buddy was so excited for me to find out what the reward was for beating the dungeon 😂😂😂#What else funny... Oh yeah my old save was so jank I never actually got any more than 5 hearts.#Yes I had to defeat lynels mostly hitless since they can kill you despite the mercy quarter heart#I also went to do the first dungeon on the first save and accidentally entered the ship without the child. It TRAPS YOU INSIDE.#It doesn't even give you a warp it just says “die or warp out”. Except I didn't get the shrine halfway up. So I decided to hoverbike out 😓#Oh yeah and it turns out you can ABSOLUTELY get the master sword so so easily.#She flies right past the water dungeon and phases out of existence near immediately it's very funny.
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i desperately want more spin-offs like UDG where we're given the events of DR through Very Different points of view.
one idea i always enjoyed is a Protagonist completely disconnected from the main cast, who does not know or care that the Remnants were once innocent kids and will once again be (mostly) innocent kids, who is not invested in hope versus despair or whatever the fuck. they see terrorists and suffering and they want the Remnants dead.
battling big-ass Nekomaru is cool and all, but i'm thinking boss fights to agonize the player where you're chasing down non-fighters like Ibuki and Mahiru and you see a flash of who they used to be before delivering the blow. each time the protagonist has to be convinced to only knock them out, to let the FF deal with them. each time the protagonist has to tell themself that the infinite layers of grief they see in those young eyes are manipulative, false.
you don't know who Sato or Natsumi or Chiaki are. you know half your friends are gone and your city's exploded and you haven't heard from your partner in two months. you're able to split up the yakuza couple and, heavily injured and unable to move, the bodyguard woman with the sword yells for her boss. what was it? Inuhiko? Fuyuhiko? she reaches out. you swing the bat.
because it doesn't matter what they were: it only matters what they took from you, the Protagonist
#danganronpa#have this unusually Fucked Up idea from me#but in all seriousness i think the idea of a game where YOU know what these kids used to be but the PROTAGONIST doesn't#and has to deal with the immediate ramifications of what they've done#EXTREMELY interesting#YOU don't want this protag to hurt Ibuki#YOU see Ibuki's despair#YOU feel bad when Ibuki's finally cornered and scrambling to get out of the protagonist's reach#but the protagonist just sees a beast wearing the skin of a cute little 19-year-old punk rocker#and swings. and swings.
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