#and doesn’t really acknowledge the Hulk as a person much less a person that struggles

[daydreamerdrew]

Daredevil (1964) #163

[anakinisvaderisanakin]

Tony Stark Is An Emotional Man - My Unpopular(?) Take

So, I’m rewatching the MCU - because of course I am - and I just realized something watching The Avengers for the first time in probably 10 years.

While everyone believes Tony is a prick - and don’t get me wrong, he is 60% attitude in a small package - until he saves the damn planet; the statement he gives to Banner about the Hulk saving him is very heartfelt. He opens up about his own condition with the shrapnel, which is a rare moment of him being openly vulnerable - especially in the earlier phase of the MCU. He is being genuine, and he is trying to make Banner see the positives and understand that perhaps, the situation isn’t as bleak as he’s been thinking.

Tony is trying to provide help, to comfort Banner; not for his own gain but because he recognizes himself in Banner, in spite of their very different ways of handling their inner demons, and their wildly differing personalities. Because he knows what it’s like to lose your way and your self worth, and he wants to see Banner regain some sense of himself the same way he has.

It’s nice to see the kind side to Tony, and for him to expose it willingly to help a fellow team mate - and eventually friend - accept himself and his inner struggle. Tony does not get credit enough for the fact that he always did have that side to him, he just didn’t know how to show it. Even his jokes and snarky sarcasm get less “mean spirited” as he evolves, and grows as a person.

I feel like Iron Man 2 coupled with The Avengers (and of course Iron Man 3 added onto that) are a perfect portrayal of how Tony’s more outward sense of caring for people, despite his awkward sense of socializing, was already beginning to shine through the cracks.

To me, Tony Stark is by far the most compelling character because while I am not entirely like him, I recognize so much of myself and my own hardships. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself, and Tony is the perfect metaphor for that. He even directly likens himself to a phoenix in Iron Man 2, although played for laughs at the Stark Expo.

But not only that, later on in the movie when Steve insinuates that Tony is not a hero, that he would never sacrifice himself on behalf of another; that he fights for himself alone, and tells him he's basically nothing without the suit - you can see it's hurting him. Tony never really holds eye contact unless it's worth while; unless it's getting to him and requires his full attention coming from someone he truly trusts, unless it means something. You see him keep his eyes off of everybody in social situations before he knows them or they have earned his respect; you see him avoiding getting in neck deep, avoiding and brushing off comments on his distant persona.

But that insult right there; from the man his father would rave about, that's taking. You see the pain in his eyes, you see the fact that he's being torn open. You see that he's brought right back to who he once was, reliving the guilt of every mistake he ever made. All because of Steve's judgmental, misguided perception of him. Tony hides his true self; hides his suffering, and his internal grappling with his shame and guilt over every problem and death he's directly or indirectly caused. The fact that Steve Rogers - of all people, as the revered Captain America - cannot see through his surface disguise is really getting to him. I believe Tony had assumed Steve would be superhuman, and he's struck by the realization that Steve is no more human than he himself is. He has imperfections, and flaws, and jumps to conclusions.

And the fact that it is Steve, of all people, making these assumptions of him and taking these jabs at him makes it all the worse. You need only watch for Tony keeping eye contact throughout the verbal onslaught to know it's hitting home; and to know that Tony feels, Tony knows this is what people all initially think of him. He had just hoped that somebody as subjectively righteous and morally good as Steve would have the ability to see through the facade. The fact that he doesn't, and that he doesn't hold back on his opinion, is what hits the hardest.

Another point is when Fury informs the remaining team of Coulson's (faked) death. Tony doesn't look at anyone, he sits turned completely away from the conversation. You can see he's close to losing it, and if he were to speak, if he were to look up, were to make any sort of eye contact directly - he would crack. That's one thing I love about RDJ's portrayal of Tony; the fact that he is so terrified of showing his vulnerable side in front of others, even when he is grieving or blaming himself for any mishap. He feels like he has to be the strong one, like he has to keep it together. Not for himself as much as for everyone else - because if the unfeeling, arrogant Iron Man breaks, how are any of the other team mates going to make it?

If Tony of all people reveals he takes it harder than almost anyone else present, how are they going to see him as the same man? I love how it is only later in the MCU, that he exposes this side of himself more willingly and freely - like in Endgame where he mentions how he lost “the kid” while referring to Peter. He not only maintains eye contact with Steve as he admits that, he chokes up. This same theme is prevalent between them in Civil War when Tony asks Steve to lay down his guard and hand over Bucky, “because it’s us” - which is a testament to the fact that Tony has now accepted Steve as a friend and ally, and this betrayal of his hard earned trust is breaking his heart. But this early on, none of this has become a valid option to him yet. So he keeps it inside; refusing to show his true colours.

And in this moment, what does he do when it gets too much? When he's required to speak up, to acknowledge Fury's mention of The Avengers project? He ups and leaves. Because if he speaks; judging by the eyes alone (which is yet another credit to Robert) he's going to tear up. And hence, he walks out to get it under control, to reil himself back in. It’s a habit he throughout the franchise will begin to display less and less; as he learns to be more comfortable with the team as friends, as well as openly displaying his own emotions.

We see another side to this later when Steve approaches Tony alone one on one; and Tony initially attempts to make quips about how Coulson shouldn't have gone alone, how he was an outgunned idiot. Steve cuts straight to the core, and Tony snaps. You see him nearly tear up, you see how upset he truly is deep down and how he was only doing his best to play it off the only way he knows how. But as soon as he is spoken to, is forced to make an assessment, to actually talk about it; to look Steve in the eye and defend himself - that's the exposed vulnerability that is the real Tony Stark.

Behind the snarks, behind the facade, behind the charade of the arrogant, nonchalant prick he’s been trying to make the world see him for. He's as human as he could ever be; and I believe this is also the first time Steve notices that there is more to Tony than he had presumed. He too, had assumed Tony is too wrapped up in his own ego and lavish life resume to care for the smaller man. But here, he sees that Tony feels, Tony sympathizes, and Tony is deeply traumatized by the fact that he - as he feels - allowed this to happen. He sees that Tony believes this is on his conscious.

Tony's glassy eyes and emotional turmoil betray him, and even though he jumps right back to his intellect and brains as a safety net and a defense mechanism - addressing Loki's plan to hit them at home and split them apart - this is the first time Steve is exposed to Tony's determination, ability to assess and deduce the situation, as well as his belief in doing the right thing (another theme seen later in Age of Ultron regarding Tony’s creation of Ultron himself, as well as in Civil War where Tony is adamant that the Sokovia Accords are the right path to take to pay for the critical mistake Ultron turned out to be.) And as they assemble, you're struck with the realization that this has been enough of an eye opener for Steve to realize that there is more to Tony Stark than meets the eye.

And who is first to the tower, leading the charge if not Tony?

And despite his blind faith in his own skill and ability to stall Loki just long enough; there's the epitome of the courage Tony possesses. He knows that without the suit, he has no fighting chance. He knows Loki could snap his neck in the blink of an eye. And still, he never backs off. Indeed, there is an underlying death wish or at the very least a sense of him subconsciously feeling he deserves and is fated a grim deminse - but it does take unprecedented bravery to put yourself in such clear danger.

Tony Stark could be called many things; but a coward is not one of them. Sure, he does have the untested suit on hold, but he did not know 100% it was going to work as planned. He was counting on it, but you know a part of him knew it was a long shot and might not work out in the end. The suit could have been faulty, Loki could have cracked his head open; the cavalry could have been running late. Still, Tony gambles with his life and luckily barely comes out on top.

At last, we have the finale. What can be said about it, except the fact that it shows exactly who Tony truly is? He knows he's going to die - indeed he doesn't - but he is intent on that, he is accepting death and welcoming it. If it helps save the world, if it will keep Pepper and everyone he loves, everyone he knows; everyone alive safe.

Here, the decision from the first Iron Man to actually show us Tony's eyes and face behind the mask is a godsend. Seeing as RDJ is an actor who communicates so much of his emotional range with his eyes only; we are given an easy access to see everything Tony is experiencing flash through them. We see the fear, the pain, the uncertainty; the acceptance of the inevitable. We see his eyes convey the jumbled mass of conflicting emotions speeding through his mind, we see how he finally just relents and gives in to what he thinks is going to be his time of dying. His final moments.

And he has made them worthwhile, he has already achieved what Yinsen begged of him in that cave in Afghanistan - he has made his survival count. He has saved numerous lives, and if his death is what it takes - so be it. Cue the parallel to Endgame. Hell, even Age of Ultron has elements of this as previously mentioned; although that one was on Tony himself, and his irrevocable fear and flaws as a human being. However, here the team sees Tony's will to sacrifice himself firsthand, for the first time; and contrary to Steve's initial assessment that Tony would never put his life on the line for anyone but himself - he does just that.

This is what makes this movie so powerful.

Sure, it builds upon every team member’s arc; even Fury's. But it is Tony who proves himself above all; who shows the team what we the audience already knew. That he is a hero, that our past does not define us. That Tony Stark feels, that he knows right from wrong although he's still stumbling blind half the time - just like the rest of us. And it proves to Steve - to the entire team - that he is not merely the selfish, arrogant asshole only sticking up for himself. He is a man, albeit a flawed one, who cares deeply. Who feels, who mourns, who appreciates life and the people around him; and who is - behind the barrier he's placed between himself and everyone else to avoid getting hurt - extremely insecure. He is fearful, apprehensive, sensitive, and well aware of his shortcomings.

And Tony Stark is, first and foremost, a good man.

Repost from my previous blog.

[mockinghawk-romanrogers]

Over Analyzing Marvel Moments Part 1

I have lots of thoughts on all things Marvel content, and often tend to put a bit too much thought into it. So I figured why not share it so that the whole internet can know my thoughts and see all my typos. Here is part 1:

I saw a clip from AOU and this line “That I was an Avenger. That I was anything more than the assassin they made me.” REALLY stood out to me. Yes she calls herself an assassin, but she still has yet to call herself a monster. This is the 4th movie she has been in, and had never described herself as a monster. Sure she admits she has done bad things and been a bad person, but that’s all. I know this all seems stupid and you have probably moved in, if not I promise I will get to the point soon. To call oneself a monster has a lot more weight behind it than we think about. When you think monster what is the first thing that comes to mind? For me it is a disfigured creature who prays on the fear of children. If you look it up monsters are described as imaginary creatures, generally large and grotesque. I would not count Natasha as any of those. While yes she may be a fictional charter there are such things as assassins and spy’s. Comparing her to a billionaire in a metal suit and actual God’s she seems pretty real. And while her title may loom large, she is not remarkable in size. Generally never above 5” 6’. And she is not grotesque, we have eyes (weather you are talking her in the comics or Scarlet Johnson's portrayal). Yes she has a grotesque past and has commuted heinous acts, everyone on that team is capable of horrible things. She is a human, who has faults and is simply trying to right her wrongs and help people. She is not a monster.

Now why does it matter that I don’t consider her a monster? Well in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t, but you have read this far so something must have interested you. During this conversation with Banner he does tell her she is being hard on herself but the moment she deflects and turns it back to him everything that comes next becomes about the struggle of being both Hulk and Banner, and how the Hulk has taken so much from him.

Bruce Banner: Natasha, where can I go? Where in the world am I not a threat?

Natasha Romanoff: You're not a threat to me.

Bruce Banner: You sure? Even if I didn't just...there's no future with me. I can't ever...I can't have this, kids, do the math, I physically can't.

Natasha Romanoff: Neither can I. In the Red Room, where I was trained, where I was raised, um, they have a graduation ceremony. They sterilize you. It's efficient. One less thing to worry about. The one thing that might matter more than a mission. It makes everything easier. Even killing. [she hesitates a moment] You still think you're the only monster on the team?

She only calls herself a monster when trying to level with Banner. Because she is a spy and she can read people, but she isn’t heartless. He is hurting and she want to help. How do you help someone who believes they are a threat? You level with them, make them not feel alone. This is the first and only time she had called herself a monster, and she says it because she is trying to help someone else. So what she can’t have kids, that doesn’t make her a monster. She has killed, but so has everyone on the team. It is it like SHIELD is made up of angels. The Red Room broke her, tore her to pieces and sewed her back together with lies. Does she really believes she is a monster, probably, but that isn’t all. And here all they do is reduce her yet again. “Oh your a monster, well here is the Hulk you two fit”. They called her a monster to make her better fit with the Hulk. But that doesn’t even work, cause a relationship where they define you by your worst trait does not work. Now she wouldn’t define Banner by his worst trait (“I don’t judge people on their worst mistake”). Being in a relationship with Banner forces her to thinking herself as no more than a monster so that he won’t feel alone. So that he won’t feel like a burden. Being in a relationship with him means compromising her own growth. We have seen CA:TWS, we all know you can try to be your best despite past decisions. That you can’t be defined by one thing. The conversation she had with Steve where she spoke about trading the Red Room for Hydra, Steve doesn’t blame her. He doesn’t focus solely on that one piece of her. Yes Steve is America’s golden boy but he truly trusts her, and sees something in her. Something she doesn’t see in herself: a hero. He may not say it but he doesn’t reinforce her when she calls herself something horrible. He reinforces her when she acknowledges the good she has done or how far she has come. That is what a healthy relationship looks like. Supporting growth, trust and not reinforcing bad habits. Also with Steve it goes both ways, they bring out the best in each other. Support one another.

Did I write this entire thing because I don’t like Nat with Bruce and think her and Steve are the better pairing. Yes. I don’t like her with Bruce. I don’t like her with Bruce because that relationship is not positive, sure there are good parts. But we have seen how people can make a profit out of misery. Bruce doesn’t make her better. She deserves someone who looks at her and sees all of her, because that is exactly what she does for everyone else. So for the writers to pair her with someone who looks for the parts of people that they relate to and judges them on that, isn’t okay. I am defiantly going to far into this and am being crazy, but in Ragnarok he calls Valkyrie “angry girl”. It is played off as a joke, but you can’t tell me that isn’t a trait the two share. A trait the two benefit from even when it is seen as negative and harmful. I’ll stop. This is long and I sound about two second away from getting out my tinfoil hat, but I never said I would do a good job over analyzing or that I wouldn’t seem like a crazy person.

[fpinterviews]

Jaclyn Santos

FP: We've spoken about the subject of the male gaze, and even part of the mission statement of FP is to question what it means when women artists control the power of their own objectification. There have been other artists who have paved the way, ie. Vanessa Beecroft, why do you think it is still considered controversial and shocking for a female artist to portray her sexuality as outwardly powerful and/or vulnerable?

JS: While many women artists have displayed their own sexuality in their artwork, every girl and woman still has to confront this topic individually and form her own convictions. It's something we continuously re-examine as we age and deal with new personal  struggles. There are so many conflicting messages in society regarding a woman’s stance on her own sexuality and most women are still trying to figure it out for themselves. On one hand, society definitely rewards physical beauty yet, in many other ways, it can be an impediment. Increasingly, I think people turn to media figures as a barometer for their own morality. For the "Shock Challenge" I wanted to generate discussion about the way women are often criticized because of images they present of themselves – particularly the way certain female celebrities objectify themselves by posting sexy personal photos on social networking platforms such as Twitter. Often these photos are low-resolution and snapped from cell phones. I decided to photograph myself in this manner as a sort of contemporary “self-portraiture” and elevate the photos to fine art status by re-contextualizing them. I then displayed the images in the gallery and allowed the audience to physically alter the work in any way with sharpies, which draws attention to the way women are criticized online. I titled the piece, “Triple Self-Portrait in Bathroom,” which references Andy Warhol, an artist known for working with the idea of celebrity persona.

Another reason it may still be considered controversial is because of female competition, which occurs in part due to socially imposed myths of female worth. The scrutiny with which women can judge each other is incredible. Growing up, I wasn’t horrendously unattractive but I did go through an “awkward phase,” and for five years of my life other girls ridiculed me nearly every day. Now that I am older and have grown into my looks, I am condemned by some women because I keep up my appearance, when if I didn’t I would be put down for it. The world sets up a standard for beauty, then criticizes those who admit they struggle with it. I’m willing to honestly examine this contradiction through my artwork.

FP: You've also mentioned isolationism in your statement...a theme that seems to be prevalent in American culture today, particularly because of the internet, and our ability to be alone yet still remain virtually connected. Can you speak about how that relates to your work?

JS: I think the piece I did for the "Art That Moves You" challenge on WOA, "11x17", touches on the issue of isolationism in contemporary urban culture. It also examines voyeurism, a somewhat natural response to isolation.  While most people do not spy on their neighbors' with binoculars, voyeurism has transcended to the internet in a more diluted version, where many of us use social networking platforms and blogs to comment on the lives of those we see on Television and other forms of Media. The pseudo-anonimity of the Internet offers protection while potentially causing further isolation. I think this has affected women in a very specific way. Oftentimes women display sexy images of themselves in an attempt to garner attention or praise, yet this often backfires into “unwarranted” criticism. Too often photos or explicit videos are released without consent.

FP: In regards to the nudity on the show...it really was a missed opportunity as you said for the production to discuss the current state of feminism as it pertains to the art world. Such a HUGE topic and yet (for the sake of time constraints? titillation of tv?) Bravo chose to edit down your provocative "shock value" piece to a hot girl defaulting to her own voyeuristic sexuality more than anything else. How did you feel about that? What could they have done to further the dialogue? What do you think would have happened if say one of the male artists had asked to photograph you naked or had photographed themselves naked...do you think more or less would have been made of that episode?

JS: So far my character has appeared very one-dimensional. The fact is, I am not a "bimbo" in any capacity.  Instead of portraying my true personality, they jumped on every opportunity to dumb-down my character. I was very disturbed by the way my piece, “Triple Self-Portrait in Bathroom,” was depicted on Work of Art as well as the way my character and art making process were completely distorted. I don’t think this was done because of time constraints; rather, it was done to create a very simple story arch that any casual viewer could follow. This was problematic because it made me look like I default to nudity without any thought behind the concept of the work, which undermines my art process. I am not shy about my appearance as they suggest, but I did feel incredibly vulnerable being taped in the nude. There's a huge difference between presenting a photograph that I have carefully selected and composed, verses handing over raw footage that can be manipulated in any way whatsoever. I was very hesitant about doing this but I believed in the piece and the producers said they needed the footage only to display my process. Yet in the episode, the rest of my process was barely discussed, then it was falsely made to look as though I was not responsible for conceptualizing the final product.

The treatment of sensitive issues on set was different for the boys. A male contestant was not required to film himself ejaculating on a piece of art, which caused some tension on set.

FP: In The Art of Reflection: Women Artists' Self-Portraiture in the Twentieth Century, Marsha Meskimmon states: "If the task was to find oneself, then the crisis for the postmodern subject is that nowhere is home, everything shifts and changes. What is the reflection in the mirror that 'vanity' holds? She refuses now to be the 'site' of another's desire and reflects back to you the insubstantiality of your projections."1

Do you think it's possible for the physicality of an attractive female artist to ever be a separate entity from her work, particularly if she is the subject matter of her own work? Is vanity and the mirror important to an artist?

JS:  To answer the question, if the womans' chosen subject matter deals with nudity or sexuality in the form of self-portraiture - i.e. Marina Abramovic, Cindy Sherman - no, I don't feel the artist's appearance could be a seperate entity. If the subject matter involves sexy images of other women or the imagery is more illustrative - i.e. Lisa Yuskavage, Hillary Harkness - I think it will be much less of an issue. I think it can only be a non-issue if the artist completely plays down her appearance or doesn't acknowledge it in her work. Yet this doesn't necessarily mean it won't be an issue. At a college critique, a guest artist was invited to our studios and the minute he saw me, before he ever saw my work, he blurted out, “you are the artist”?  “You don’t look anything like an artist... YOU are as interesting as your work." This sort of thing happened so often that I made a decision to incorporate my appearance into my work.

FP: Another great quote from this same book: "One of the key issues in feminist theory has been that of women's voice in male language. To what extent is it possible to enunciate a truly different position when you are already within the structures which mark your difference?"2 Do you think the art world is still a predominantly masculine one or is it now equal...what has your experience been thus far?

JS:  While certainly more doors are now open to female artists, there’s no denying the highest paid artists are all still men. There’s also no denying that the vast majority of Art collectors are men.  I worked for Jeff Koons for two years and there were very few women who came in to purchase work. Granted, this may simply be because men still make more money than women and if women had more spending power, more of us would invest in contemporary art. I think it is a challenge to make work about women that can appeal to both a male and female audience on the same level. We respond to images of the female form rather differently, and it's hard to subvert the provocative aspect of a sexualized image.

FP: The high-low art status is interesting in your pieces --do you think anything can be elevated to art status by redepicting it?

JS:  Yes, it can, if done in a particular way.  Intent is important -- low art must be appropriated in an intelligent way. For instance, a high school student copying his incredible hulk comic book is entirely different than Jeff Koons appropriating the hulk into his personal iconography.

FP: You worked as a studio assistant to pop art icon Jeff Koons. Has he influenced your work? And who are your biggest influences?

JS:  Before I ever worked for Jeff Koons, I loved his Made in Heaven series as well as his Luxury/Degradation series. Speaking of Made in Heaven, that’s a prime example of low-art being successfully elevated to high -art. Jeff Koons is brilliant and there are very few people who love art as much as he does. Working at his studio was an incredible learning experience. It was so interesting to see how he spoke with visitors about his work and I learned an incredible amount of technical skill while at his studio. Jeff talked "acceptance" quite often. We must accept who we are -- our individual and collective pasts -- our shortcomings, failures, weaknesses, and strengths. As artists, we must be honest with ourselves in order to make work that is personal yet transcends to a wider audience. So many artists have influenced my work, but to name a few: Damien Hirst, Marilyn Minter, Laurel Nakadate, Liz Cohen, Vanessa Beecroft

FP: Where do you see your work evolving now that you've participated in Bravo's Work of Art? Has the show inspired you in a new direction? What's on the horizon? Where can we see your work next?

JS:  Participating in the reality show was an experience like no other. It really made me more aware of the internet as a portal for criticism and dialogue in fine art. It also opened my eyes to how incredibly critical and voyeuristic our culture is, and I think I would like to comment even further on these qualities in my new projects. The show also allowed me to branch out into other mediums when appropriate, something I think I may have been afraid to do before.  Since the show wrapped up, I’ve been continuing my series of figurative paintings as well as a new series of explosions that respond to the war and oil spill.

Check my website, www.jaclynsantos.com for frequent updates of my new work.

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 19: MJ is NOT a super hero

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Master Post

Mary Jane is an incredibly gifted woman who you don’t want to mess with. But do those gifts really make her a hero, one who could take on Mysterio?

I was initially planning on looking at Mary Jane’s combat record in this post. However, before doing that there needs to be a dash more context to really put things into perspective.

I could simply cite Sen v2 #32 to prove my point. In this issue the Parker family are on the run since Peter unmasked and opposed the Super Human Registration Act. At her wits end MJ contacted Sue Richards for guidance.

During their conversation MJ opens up about how stressed she is. She even refers to Sue and other heroes as ‘you people’, clearly demarking a difference between them and herself.

Sue basically tells MJ to toughen up, referencing herself, Jessica Jones and Storm, the (then) wives of Reed Richards, Luke Cage and Black Panther respectively.

However, at the end of the conversation MJ points out the difference between herself those women was that she didn’t have powers to fall back on.

There you are. MJ herself acknowledging she has no powers and is not a super hero.

End of discussion.

Well no, because we can dive much deeper.

Let me start with this irrefutable statement: Mary Jane is a bad ass.

She truly is.

Mentally, emotionally, physically, she’s pulled off some truly impressive things.

But the thing is those things she’s pulled off…they wouldn’t be that impressive (if at all) if say, Wonder Woman did them. Or She Hulk. Or Mockingbird. Or Batgirl/Barbra Gordon. Or you know…Spider-Man himself.

So why do fans gravitate towards these things, these feats of heroism, self-defence and protection of others?

Because they are impressive considering Mary Jane is NOT a super hero.

You see it’s all a matter of scale.

The Chameleon is a trained and experienced mercenary but doesn’t possess any super human powers beyond the ability to change how he looks. In what has become one of her most iconic moments, Mary Jane defeated him with a mere baseball bat. This occurred when she knew what to expect, when Chameleon was underestimating her and when he was unarmed. That is  impressive no doubt.

But were the situation the same but Batgirl was substituted for Mary Jane it wouldn’t nearly be as impressive because Batgirl, even with just a baseball bat, is at worst on a similar power level as the Chameleon. But in all seriousness is almost certainly his superior in terms of combat proficiency. She’s thoroughly trained in various forms of hand-to-hand combat, strategy, thinking on the back foot and highly experienced.

And experienced against people who’re actually much more physically dangerous than the Chameleon, such as Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy or the Joker. When you remove Chameleon’s stealth and weapons you are left with someone who is highly violent and could kill the average civilian if given the chance…but ultimately not someone as dangerous as most of the famous super villains from Marvel or DC.

If anything arming Batgirl with a baseball bat would be needlessly excessive, she could defeat Chameleon with just some punches or kicks.

Now apply that same scenario but substitute in Mockingbird, who can dent steel with her bare hands and has an accelerated healing factor and arguably superior fighting skills to Batgirl. Or how about She-Hulk, someone with vastly more strength, an even better healing factor and immensely more durability. And as Wonder Woman…she is literally a millennia old demi-goddess with divinely empowered durability, strength and speed, fast enough in fact to easily deflect bullets. *

If you were told any of these  women defeated the Chameleon with ‘just a baseball bat’ would you  be impressed? Would you feel that’s a huge accomplishment for any of them?

Of course not.

Because on even an incredibly rudimentary power scale common sense would clearly define for you that Chameleon wouldn’t be a physical threat to any of them.

Because they are actual super heroes wit either physically enhanced physiologies or advanced equipment or highly practiced expert level combat training.

The reason MJ dispatching the Chameleon has been celebrated for over 20 years is because none of that applies to her.

Let’s unpack exactly  what MJ does and doesn’t have in her arsenal.

Mary Jane lacks any bona fide super human abilities or advanced combat training.

She has experienced being targeted directly by criminals or being caught up in criminal encounters. But these are intermittent experiences resulting from either her association with people the criminals have a grudge against (typically Spider-Man) or plain bad luck. She does not regularly  in her day-to-day life deal with such things nor does she even deal with them on a weekly basis in her life. If she does they are likely the result of simply living in Marvel’s version of New York city, which thereby means most of her experiences are the same as the average resident of the city.

Apart from these intermittent experiences (and exempting her seeking help from others) the traits she possesses that might (in one capacity or another) be applicable in a dangerous situation are as follows:

She is a physically fit woman approximately aged between 24 and her mid-30s. But nowhere close to being Olympic athlete levels of fitness. 

Excerpt from ‘The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Spider-Man 2004’

In terms of conventional/stereotypical beauty standards she is generally considered to be stunningly attractive. She is 5’8” and weighs in at 120 lbs. Her outward appearance then could potentially be used to make her would-be assailants underestimate her or even be dazzled by her beauty as a distraction

Mary Jane is not blind to the harsher realities of life and has developed proficient street smarts. But it’s not like she knows where to find stool pigeons and how to go about shaking them down for information, nor the inner workings of the criminal underworld.

She is a skilled actress particular practiced at adopting the façade of a seemingly carefree and simple party girl

She is at worst rather experienced when it comes to flirtation. Arguably we could extrapolate this into her being decent at general seduction but that’s debatable

She has good at improvising

She is exceptionally skilled in social interactions

She has a pretty decent ability to read people’s personalities, but is not a fully trained psychologist or any similar field that’d make her an expert at reading people very quickly and taking advantage of them as a result

She has certain basic self-defence skills gleamed from classes most people can attend

She has had at exactly one basic training session with Captain America, where the focus was more upon mental discipline and focus. The session never implied he taught her any practical self-defence moves and the session was geared more to instructing Peter  not Mary Jane.

She has demonstrated/developed certain basic and unrefined (albeit often proficient) self-defence skill. These primarily consist of using melee weapons (typically objects not actually designed for such a purpose, like baseball bats) and to a lesser extent firearms, and to an even lesser extent hand-to-hand attacks. Mary Jane for instance has never been shown to practice using a handgun, although she does know how. She can slug someone in the jaw, but she’s never been shown to have trained how to do that, you see what I am getting at.

Technically speaking she possesses a pair of bracelets that are modified web-shooters, along with a set of regular web-shooters. 

The former have a limited amount of web-fluid and are designed to stall a target, with the aim being for Mary Jane to surprise her assailant and buy time to escape, not engage in an outright fight. She has been shown to rarely carry either of these on her person though and there is no implication she has them in Amazing Mary Jane #1. Additionally since she is on set it would be unlikely that she’d be allowed to wear them as they wouldn’t be part of her on outfit for the movie.

Along with most of New York she has possessed identical powers to Spider-Man (in addition to organic based web-shooters) for less than 24 hours, during which time she displayed a proficiency in using them (due to bad writing, literally no one struggled to adjust to the use of Spider-Man’s powers). She has never possessed these powers again since, and this includes in AMJ.

On a handful of occasions she has piloted various different advanced armoured suits designed by Tony Stark. These have chiefly included his rudimentary MKII armour and the Iron Spider armour originally designed for Peter’s use. 

In both she demonstrated proficient defence skills. It is not clear how easy the armours are to use so whether MJ’s proficiency was due to a natural skill or due to the armour’s design is debatable. Regardless there is no indication she regularly has access to this technology and certainly not in AMJ.

MJ possesses incredibly strong willpower and understands the need for self-sacrifice, demonstrating in her time a willingness to give something of her self for the good of others. This could be important in regards to protecting other people.

As you can see MJ’s skillset is impressive for a civilian.

But some instances (like the Stark armours she’s donned) make the depths of her skills unclear. The most advanced equipment she has access to are her web-shooters but she is shown to only use or even carry them on occasion. In both cases she is not shown to have access to either in AMJ. Her other skills are things anyone in real life could hypothetically possess and in fact several other civilians in the Marvel universe either do possess or could possess.

What I'm saying is Mary Jane is, by any metric, a civilian.

A civilian who knows how to use a gun, has had cause to defend her self dozens of times and is very good at thinking on her feet. But a civilian nevertheless.

She has the spirit to cut it as a superhero but not without powers, training or access to advanced equipment like Iron Man’s armour. None of which she currently possesses or has access to in AMJ.

When you get right down to it the reason we fans celebrate whenever Mary Jane triumphs or survives or even just pulls off some good moves against a criminal or super villain is because we understand she is ultimately the underdog.

We grasp that it’s innately more impressive for someone in the featherweight division to even hold their own for a little while against someone in the heavyweight division because normally they wouldn’t stand a chance and we are naturally inclined to be sympathetic towards them.**

This isn’t exclusive to Mary Jane by any means, underdog stories date back to the Bible itself with the classic tale of David and Goliath.

To use an example closer to home though, in ASM #229-230 Spider-Man had to stop the Juggernaut, a villain whose strength and durability had given him a reputation as unstoppable. He regularly tangled with the Hulk and was over all far beyond Spider-Man’s weight class. The story is widely regarded as one of the all time best in Spider-Man history, primarily because  it is such a shining example of an underdog story.

Such stories are fairly common in super hero comic books, but so too is the popularity of civilian supporting characters that contend with outright super villains and criminals.

Alfred Pennyworth is utterly beloved within the Batman fandom with his attempts and successes at dealing with Batman’s infamous rogues celebrated. The same goes for Edwin Jarvis, sometimes celebrated as the bravest of all the Avengers. Jarvis’ popularity is such he was in fact the main character of the milestone 400th issue of the Avengers. And to use a closer equivalent to MJ, Lois Lane’s moments of skill, toughness and bravery in the face of danger are celebrated within Superman circles.

NONE of these characters are super heroes. Even Alfred, who (in most modern incarnations) has some military history, is still a more elderly gentleman thereby accentuating his vulnerability and making his victories all the larger.

With that out of the way, we now have the appropriate context to start examining some instances of MJ defending herself.

* And what about Spider-Man himself? Has he not tangled with Chameleon often? Is it not usually impressive whenever he defeats him? Indeed it is…but rarely whenever Spider-Man physically  over powers him. 

Because we readers are very aware that Spider-Man is physically stronger and faster than the Chameleon and his other powers give him yet more physical advantage over him. 

In fact a poignant Chameleon storyline entailed Chameleon (in disguise) tricking Spider-Man into removing  his powers and thereby rendering him vulnerable.

Even then, the Chameleon opted to hire muscle (mainly muscle with super powers) to take on Spider-Man rather than fight him personally.

Chameleon’s awareness of Spidey’s superior might is arguably the reason he recruited physically powerful Kraven the Hunter in ASM v1 #15 (Kraven’s debut and Chammy’s second outing). 

Spidey’s victories over Chameleon are impressive or cathartic not because Peter overpowers him physically, but does so mentally. This is in fact showcased in the very same storyline that Mary Jane famously took a bat to Chammy’s cranium; specifically Spec #243.

In this story, Chameleon (in the guise of Doctor Kafka) uses drugs and makeup to trick Spider-Man into believing he is someone else. However, drawing upon his will power and affection for his loved ones Peter breaks free of Chameleon’s trap.

**And I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that a part of that for at least some fans is the fact that Mary Jane is a woman doing such things, and a female love interest to boot.

Stereotypically women aren’t superheroes or action heroes, and stereotypically love interests are the ones in need of saving, not the ones saving themselves or others.

For some fans this appreciation of stereotypes being subverted can come from a bad place. “Mary Jane just beat a super villain even though she’s a chick!”

For others the appreciation can be viewed as empowering. To perhaps reveal a stereotypical view of my own, I imagine female readers would constitute the majority of this category, although in theory anyone who feels like an underdog or perhaps vulnerable could resonant with MJ’s victories.

Finally there are definitely some readers who appreciate these examples because they are just plain refreshing.

And of course some people might just like Mary Jane in general so seeing her shine in some capacity could do it for them.

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[khentkawes]

The Russos think Steve’s ending made the movie “hopeful” rather than “depressing,” and I’m like...what?

While Black Widow and Iron Man get tragic, heroic deaths, Captain America gets a different kind of emotional ending – heading back into an alternate past to live a happy life with Peggy Carter. Not only was it a logical end for his character arc, but it offered hope where killing him would have destroyed it. “Once you kill a beloved character like [Tony], you've got to have hope at the end of the movie in some regard, and the only person to give you that hope is the other co-lead,” says Joe Russo. “Had we killed both the leads, I feel like people would have been walking out into traffic after the film. The intention is not to destroy people, it's to hopefully tell a complex and dimensionalised story in a way, that makes them feel a varied range of emotion.”

(via Empire)

Just read this in Empire’s summary of the “spoilers” they got from interviews with the Russos and Markus & McFeely (it’s #24 in their list of “juicy” tidbits) and I’m just like...what?

So the goal wasn’t to “destroy people” with that ending. They gave us brutal, tragic deaths for Tony and Natasha, but figured that Cap’s “hopeful ending” would save the movie from being too depressing? I think they miscalculated because that math does not add up.

I think they missed the fact that Tony is the most human (and therefore the more relatable) character and that Natasha has been, for the bulk of the MCU, the only real female hero representation we’ve had (until Age of Ultron, she was literally the only one, and it’s only since the women of Black Panther and Hope Van Dyne showed up that we’ve actually had a variety of female heroes). I think they are missing how utterly depressing it is to kill off the flawed characters who have struggled towards redemption and a life of heroism--killing off the guy with PTSD and anxiety who has struggled to cope with mental illness and to become a better person who has made up for past mistakes, and killing off the abused woman who has fought to regain her agency and make her own path in life, who was also the only woman on the team for way too long--in favor of saving the traditionally handsome, stereotypically “good” white guy. He gets the hopeful ending. They don’t. And that’s supposed to save the movie from being too depressing? Really?

And okay, I am not saying that Steve doesn’t deserve a happy ending. I’m saying that saving the old-fashioned hero, the one with no flaws who happens to look like the narrow stereotype of white Americana (a stereotype so few Americans actually fit into), and killing off the characters who are less than perfect and less than the ideal of white, blue-eyed, blonde perfection is not hopeful...unless you identify with the white male "good dude” archetype. I guess if you wholeheartedly believe you are righteous and good, and you have had that idea reinforced your whole life, then maybe you would identify with Steve and see his happy ending as the reward for all of his years of doing the right thing. But as a woman who struggles with mental illness, that narrative isn’t hopeful to me. That narrative tells me that only people who are stereotypically "perfect” and fit into this narrow definition of what it means to be “good” get happy endings--and yeah, apparently Hollyowood’s go-to story to reinforce that message is a white guy who “wins” the girl as his “reward” for being the “white hat” good guy. It’s such a tired trope, and in 2019, it’s over-done more than it inspires some sense of hope.

But let me be clear: the problem is not that they gave Steve a happy ending. It’s that they only gave Steve a happy ending. Tony and Nat are dead. Pepper and Morgan are mourning. The last images we see of Rhodey are of him with tears in his eyes (seriously, this franchise and even the fans are continuously doing Rhodey dirty. If one guy should be worthy of the hammer, it’s Rhodey, not Steve...but right, he’s not “the lead” and he’s black, so...). Thor is still depressed and has lost everything; he’ll probably go on a journey to heal and make a new life for himself, but it’s not a happy ending, not even particularly hopeful since he has no clear direction and is left adrift. Bruce gets no ending at all: his character is literally ignored at the end and we have no idea what will happen to him. Zero resolution there, and not much reason to hope that there will be more for his character later (the Empire article also suggests that Bruce/Hulk is a symbol of hope in the movie because he moves on to be an active hero during the five year time gap...but since they show us almost none of this, again, it doesn’t feel particularly hopeful). Clint is mourning Natasha (but he is the closest of the other characters to get a happy ending--and Joe Russo basically says that’s because he identifies with Clint as a father and family man). Sam looks confused and Bucky looks vaguely sad. The Guardians are a broken family trying to piece things back together, and Nebula is broken too (still). These characters don’t get happy endings. Sure, some of them have a chance to rebuild and live on. But the story doesn’t focus on giving them “hope” to salvage the depressing ending. We are given no real promise that things will look up for these people or that they have hope for their futures. It’s pretty much either bittersweet (i.e. Sam getting the shield) or very bleak. Steve is the only one who is truly happy and we end the movie on images of only him being happy.

So the problem is that the only person with a well-resolved happy ending is the white, male paragon of virtue. All of the other characters, who could have been on complex story arcs and could have been used as symbols of hope...they get nothing. We could have ended with characters rebuilding Avengers Compound, with scenes of Wakanda rebuilding and helping the rest of the world, with Rhodey taking the younger heroes under his wing, with Pepper showing Morgan her dad’s legacy or a shot of Morgan tinkering with parts of an iron man suit as a bit foreshadowing, with nods to the next generation taking up the mantel, and with Steve looking proudly at all of that, knowing that they followed his example and Tony’s legacy. That would have been a hopeful ending that all of us could find some hope in. But instead, the movie focuses almost exclusively on Steve--so “hope” is defining as a white dude getting the girl and dancing with her in the past...a regression, rather than progression, moving backward rather than forward. That’s what these writers and directors consider hopeful.

If Steve got some version of a happy ending (hopefully one less ham-fisted than what we got) and we also had much more focus on hopeful scenes for the other characters, then I would feel less like walking out into traffic after this movie. But as it was...Russos, your attempt was not successful. Your hope is only for the perfect white male heroes that you clearly idolize, but it’s not for women or POC or people with mental illness or people who have made mistakes or people who just don’t fit that “perfect hero” stereotype. And that’s not hope. That’s depressing as fuck.

I mean, at least Joe Russo actually called Tony a “beloved character,”  acknowledging that they knew his death would be devastating and they would have to mitigate that somehow...they just clearly had no fucking clue how to do that, so it failed royally.

[regrettablewritings]

Okay so I got asked earlier about elaborating on my feelings towards Fantastic Beasts 2...

Disclaimer: These ramblings are my personal feelings on the most recent addition to the HP franchise, Fantastic Beasts 2: Crimes of Grindelwald. You needn’t agree with them, but I have a right to express my feelings concerning the film and how it handled its story, its editing, characterization, and motivations. If you liked the movie, great! I didn’t. And here is where I will dispense why. Also, as if it bears mentioning, spoilers.

So...There’s a lot to unpack here. And, unfortunately, most of it is not fantastic beasts – mainly because aside from a few creatures that only exist as trailer fuel, the story’s pretty much departed from the importance of creatures and the allegories they can potentially offer. I mean, on one hand, I understand that it must be difficult to make five films revolve continuously around weird creatures and Newt’s efforts to utilize them and be the magical Crocodile Hunter. But on the other, they’ve made, like, five films centered around people reviving dinosaurs so this frankly isn’t impossible if done with good planning.

This, in my opinion, was not done with good planning. Rather than be done with the intention of being a suitable continuation to the promising first film, CoG wound up being a jumble of poor editing, nonsense twists, and character bastardizing to name a few.

But before I get into that, let me make it clear that I didn’t hate everything about it. The movie had some good qualities about it such as:

Theseus is actually a good brother. For years, we were kinda inched towards the idea that because he was the socially favored Scamander brother, that he must be a golden boy and even a bit arrogant. Newt’s impressions of him didn’t exactly help, either. But what we wound up with was a well-meaning if a bit primmer guy who’s affectionate (“a hugger” according to Newt), controlled, and ultimately does love his younger brother even if he doesn’t necessarily see eye to eye with him. I was talking with a friend about him and their relationship makes a bit more sense and even gains more points if you consider how Newt is coded as autistic: Theseus doesn’t get his brother and admittedly does wish he’d calm down, but he clearly isn’t comfortable with others looking down on Newt for his oddities.

Plus, Newt stepping out of his comfort zone to give Theseus a hug in his time of need is especially heartwarming even if in the face of something tragic.

Leta Lestrange being an example of how Slytherins aren’t all prejudiced assholes, rather they are characterized by their ambition and cleverness rather than the evils that can result from those traits going untamed.

Newton Scamander is the only person to make “your eyes look like salamander eyes” romantic.

“WALK WITH ME!”

Niffler babies!!

And, uh . . . yeah, that’s it. Everything else either left a bad taste in my mouth or punched me in the brain. So without any further ado or necessary order, let me just air my grievances and get this one-ton pain off my chest:

Too many storylines. I know this was a common complaint directed at the first installment of the series, but here, it’s really evident because we’re following Newt and Jacob following Tina who’s following Credence who’s following a trail and eventually following Grindelwald and Yusuf who’s following Tina to follow Credence and Grindelwald who’s not exactly following Credence but whatever then we got Leta who’s not necessarily following anyone but holy shit that’s without delving into the respective meat of all of the A, B, C, D, E, and so on plots

Queenie. Just. Queenie. What did they do to our favorite blonde Goldstein sister?! In the first movie, Queenie was established as being the more openly soft sister. Yes, she was more emotional than Tina, but it was never to the point of her actually making stupid decisions – especially because it was proven that the airheadedness was all a ploy and that Queenie’s actually pretty smart and intuitive (you know, when not reading minds). Which makes her decision to bewitch Jacob into marriage the first sign that something was wrong. The thing that made their attraction to one another in the previous film unusual yet still enjoyable was that it signified that not all magic-doers in America were against interacting with No-Majs and a potential allegory for interracial marriage, given how her initial intrigue towards Jacob as a No-Maj quickly evolved into genuine intrigue for him as a person.

By the time of CoG, however, this care has evolved into obsession wherein Jacob’s treated more like a commodity rather than an actual person. Yes, he does return Queenie’s feelings, but robbing him of his consent regardless is just an awful thing to have done to him. Jacob’s unwillingness to marry Queenie isn’t one born of fearing commitment; it’s because as much as he loves her, he hates the idea of her suffering for his lack of magic even more. Unfortunately, to Queenie’s now apparently rapid mind, this translates as him being too afraid and that it’s up to her to make any moves – moves that are highly concerning for everyone, let alone somebody who displayed such consideration in the previous film.

Going off of this, her decision to join Grindelwald is just . . .? The man will literally have people like the one you claim to love killed. Maybe not all, but the ones that do survive will likely not live well. This includes Jacob. So what sense is there to this?! And this is without considering she can read minds

Credence. I mean, I think everyone was sort of prepared for him to do what he did in the end, but actually watching it honestly made me realize how stupid it was for him to do that. I mean, you could argue that as far as he’s concerned, Graves and Grindelwald are two different people, as whatever was left of him managed to wisp away before the big Scooby Doo reveal. So as far as he may know, Graves did him wrong; Grindelwald is only trying to help. But even still, I hate what they’re doing to this guy.

Going off this . . . The whole Aurelius thing. I’ll admit that by that point, I was dead in my seat so I wasn’t sure if I heard the specifics, but did Grindelwald specify that Aurelius was Albus’ brother? Because if not, he’s just a relative in the Dumbledore family. Which kinda defeats the previous claim of Credence’s importance to the wizarding world imo.

Newt’s sudden infatuation with Tina comes off as clumsy. Yeah, it’s cute, but it seems so out of place. Sure, we can assume during the time skip that they kept in touch decently, but I sincerely doubt that in that amount of time, Newt managed to fall for her, let alone to the extent that he displays. I know I keep referencing the first film, but considering they’re, you know, supposed to be part of the same franchise, it’s key. But in the first film, the attraction is hinted at in the lightest of ways. We know they’ll get married, but that doesn’t mean they need to be immediately into one another, much less to the extent wherein Tina displays jealous tendencies and Newt is full of Freudian slips about how attractive he finds her. This wouldn’t seem too out of place later down the line, but to have that already just seems misplaced.

The situation regarding Yusuf and Leta’s mother and Corvus Lestrange . . . If this was supposed to be a sort of reference to the r@pe of black women from white men, yeah, it happened, but I’m not so sure how I feel about it being used here, mainly because it winds up contributing to Leta’s “tragic mulatto” trope. However, it also makes me wonder if it would be as intensely questionable if Leta’s mother had been white but that doesn’t really make it any better considering that the marriage was nonconsensual and resulted in death by childbirth.

This is more of a nitpick, but it bothered me how a lot of important exposition seemed to come from the mouths of those bearing hard-to-decipher accents.

This is just what I remember and what I condensed by the by. There’s probably a few other gripes I have rattling around up in the old noggin but I’m already exhausting myself here and this is already a pretty damn long list as is. But I the thing is, I don’t think I would’ve been this frustrated if they had just waited to do some of these things in a later film.

Some of these motivations and whatnot would’ve made more sense a little ways down the line after putting the characters through situations that pushed them to do the things they do. For example, Queenie’s nonsense decision to join a man who’d rather her lover’s kind mostly die doesn’t make sense in a movie that we acknowledge has had a timeskip, but doesn’t show what occurred within the timeskip. Choosing to join Grindelwald should be what happens after the audience sees her struggle to maintain the relationship. We need to have a reason to understand her dive into a darker mindset. The audience needs to see a woman who has been through trial after trial and snuck high and low to little success just to be with the one she loves, not a yandere flapper girl in the making.

Likewise, we need to see how Credence put himself back together. If the sequel to Fantastic Beasts couldn’t showcase that, they needed to at least dedicate time to Credence familiarizing himself with the magic world. The dude was a stranger to it all before, how did he wind up finding a magical circus? They’re not exactly lying about, especially in America, so who did he find or who found him and brought him into the wizarding world? I wanna see that, not him suddenly knowing how stuff works. (Going off of that, how did a mind and body-consuming form of dark magic go from a means of death to basically an Overwatch Ultimate? An Obscurus isn’t like a Hulk serum you can whip out and reel back in, that shit is deadly and nearly wiped out half of Manhattan.)

Anyway, by showing Credence’s further involvement in the magical world, he can be introduced to further situations that may arguably make him more pushed toward Grindelwald (even though it’d still be kind of dumb no matter what way you slice it). Having him suddenly join to find out who his parents were just feels . . . weak. Even for Credence, who’s in a constant state of vulnerability.

Like, Jo. Joanne. JK. Ms. Rowling. Please: I get that you’re trying to live up to the hype or what have you, but try not trying. Your stuff flowed better when you were just trying to tell a story, not hash out a story with intent on it becoming famous. I get wanting it to thrive from a business standpoint (anyone who pretends they wouldn’t want their shit to make beaucoup money is a damn lie), but it just doesn’t work when you’re forcing it.

So . . . yeah, that’s the gist. There’s definitely people who can say it more eloquently but whatever, you chose to read my take on it, so you got it. Like I said before, if you liked Crimes of Grindelwald, that’s fine. I like quite a few films others find trouble enjoying. I just didn’t like this one.

[portfolio-ni-rizza]

Avengers: Endgame [Personal] Review

After 11 years and 21 films, we get the culmination to a cinematic franchise unlike anything we've ever seen before, and it is everything we expected it to be–even the bad ones.

What Avengers: Endgame does well, it does REALLY well. It's hard to imagine, at this point, any other franchise being able to churn out an output of this caliber. On the other hand, what Endgame got wrong, it got VERY wrong. And it's all the more frustrating to think they would never have gotten this right, anyway. Even with its (debatably) best release to date, the MCU still failed at the one thing it never got right: it's female heroes.

(But, to be fair, Marvel perennially disappoints every other character who isn't played by Robert Downey Jr., so no surprise here.)

So let's start with Endgame's biggest, most disgusting, but easily solvable mistake: killing off Black Widow.

To give credit where it's due, the Marvel comics was made at a time when women were still largely seen as less than a person; when their worth only went as far as their ability to hold babies in their wombs and arms. And with the MCU being heavily based on those materials, it's not surprising that the movies carried these oppressive sentiments too.

Even so, the MCU wasn't made in the 40s. Majority of it is set today, for today's audiences. So the fact that it still chose to carry those misogynistic, outdated values is just plain ridiculous. 

And the Black Widow, in all her iteration be it in the comics or movies, is still very much a product of those values. She is very rarely, if at all, portrayed as a person on her own, without being defined by her connections to others–specifically the men around her. In the MCU, this was most obvious in her god-awful portrayal at Whedon's Age of Ultron. She was the classic damsel in distress: just another girlfriend/wife character whose express purpose was to be saved by a man, and be a platform with which to show HIS heroics. Worse, Widow explicitly called herself a "monster" during AoU when she was talking about, of all things, being sterilized.

Umm... what? She thought herself a "monster", not because she kills people in cold blood, topples world organizations, and threatens the peace of nations... but because she can't be a mom?

Yikes.

AoU was already a massive fall from grace for Black Widow, from whom we finally got to see some well-deserved badassery, and definitive lack of sexualization, with The Winter Soldier JUST ONE MOVIE AGO. But what's even worse was that this same trope was covertly exploited again in Endgame with–literally–Black Widow sacrificing herself because Hawkeye has a (dead) family.

It's like, hey girls! If you don't have a family of your own, then feel free to throw yourself off a cliff! 

The MCU and its proliferation of male directors and producers never, ever knew what to do with Black Widow, so I imagine it was with a sigh of relief that they FINALLY got rid of her, the first chance they get. And if you think I'm making this up, guess again: Endgame writers themselves (Stephen McFeely, Christopher Markus) said, and I quote, "Her journey, in our minds, had come to an end if she could get the Avengers back."

That's it. That's the sum of Black Widow's character. She was always just a supporting role. She was never a plot. She was just another plot device. If her male colleagues can do their heroics, then her purpose for existing, in the writers' minds, has been served.

Never mind that Natasha Romanoff had the most character development in the entire franchise. Never mind that she was a direct support to 4 of 5 of the other Original Six, and was literally instrumental in making THEM into the heroes they were (Iron Man's recruitment, the Hulk's pathetic and flimsy lullaby, her partnerships with Hawkeye and Cap).

Maybe it might have been easier to take if she was as discarded as Hawkeye. But Black Widow didn't simply disappear in the mainstream storyline for periods of a time with a convenient explanation: she has always been at the center stage in one form or another. Always in conjunction with another character, sure, but THERE, regardless, which is more than we can say for Hawkeye, who really only appears (extensively) in Avengers movies.

But despite how central Black Widow actually is to the entire MCU, she still gets fridged at the first opportunity. Now that Marvel can safely say it has other females on the Avengers roster, they don’t hesitate to throw Widow under the bus (or off a cliff), and still manage to over-glorify and cloyingly romanticize female martyrdom at the expense of helping her male colleagues along. And she didn’t even get the send-off she deserved (hell, even Gamora had more drama around her death). They mourn her for all of 5 minutes, then she gets a passing mention in Tony’s funeral. Now a point can be argued that Iron Man is a public figure, he deserves a funeral, etc. etc., but think about the people who actually attended. None of them were outsiders. They were all, in one form or another, people in the Avengers immediate circle. There was no press. No cameras and grieving audiences ala Superman’s send-off in BvS. So why couldn't–didn't–they acknowledge Natasha Romanoff?

But it’s not over. Knowing full well that people will be angry at chucking off the MCU’s first real, if laughably flimsy, attempt at diversity, Endgame decides to soothe our ruffled feathers with, no surprise, fan service. The MCU may have killed off one of its most important female characters (both inside and outside the context of the cinematic universe), but fans can have 2 minutes of gIrL POwEr! Watch Captain Marvel zoom across an army of aliens (Where was she the whole time, by the way? Infinity War heavily implied a much important role for her, and they certainly touted her as the “strongest Marvel character” but she was completely useleess for 3/4s of the film… and barely on the last quarter), while the other sTRoNg ladies of the MCU have got her back!

Because 2 minutes is enough to compensate for a decade’s worth of callous disregard, of course.

And while those 2 minutes were certainly awesome and easily one of the highlights of the films, there’s no denying that it was all a blatant, pathetic attempt at pandering to a group Marvel never really much cared for. And those 2 minutes show you precisely what the MCU still is: a movie about boys, made by boys, for boys, who still don’t know how to handle women as people.

As amazing and kick-ass as those 2 minutes had been, they were an aberration in a longline of blatant disregard for female characters, and they could have easily been removed from the film because they contribute very, very little to the Infinity Saga’s narrative. McFeely and Marcus are even the first to admit: they only kept that scene in because it was “too fun”.

And just in case you think I’m just an angry, man-hating femi-nazi at this point, who only cares about fighting for women’s rights insofar as it puts me above men, look how Endgame also treated its male cast. Ant Man was nothing but a fussy, whiny, worrywart who couldn’t do the ONE thing that was supposed to be HIS thing: the quantum realm (guess who made that work? Iron Man!). Captain America was a selfish jerk who potentially messed up the entire MCU as we know it because he can’t get over his first crush (guess who was a selfless, self-sacrificing kid from New York? Iron Man!). The Hulk suddenly, miraculously lost the very essence of his character–his struggle between being Bruce and being the Hulk–with just a few punchlines about how he just decided to get the best of both worlds, as if he never could have possibly thought of that before, as if his struggles and demons never overwhelmed him so much to the point where he literally tried to kill himself (but guess, AGAIN, whose struggles and demons we DID see? Iron Man, of course you silly ninny!). Iron Man was given the VERY BEST of each of these characters, because duh, he’s Iron Man. Never mind that a SHARED cinematic universe wouldn’t have worked without other people to share it. Like the past three Avengers, Endgame is just another Iron Man movie. 

Thank GOD he’s dead.

Finally, FINALLY Iron Man is gone. The overrated, over-powered Golden Boy will darken the Marvel Cinematic Universe no more, and we might finally get a film franchise that DOESN’T unflinchingly throw its characters under the bus for the chance to give its poster boy his 15 seconds of glory. Looking back at how Russos, and the production team behind Endgame, shamelessly claimed that Endgame is the story of Cap, Widow, and everyone who didn’t get their screen time on Infinity War, it is all the more irritating to watch 3 more hours of plot-armored Iron Man “saving the day”.

And that’s the tea for today.

PS: Can we talk about the fact how the ending with Cap literally ruined the entire movie (and universe) because of his messing with the timeline?

[sazorak]

My Hero Academia’s hero and villain are not very good

My Hero Academia,  Kohei Horikoshi’s shounen manga take on Western super hero comics, has been running nearly three years now. I am something of a binge-reader when it comes to media; I don’t care for the drawn-out schedule that comes from following serialized releases. But My Hero Academia (alongside One Piece, Berserk, and One Punch Man) is one of the few that I actively follow. Lately though, I’ve been wondering why.

It’s not that the comic has taken a particularly egregious downturn in quality or pacing – it’s been fairly consistent all in all. The current arc about the class becoming intern sidekicks has been interesting, and it’s been moving at a rather brisk pace. The issue I’m struggling with is more fundamental. It’s a problem My Hero Academia has had since the beginning, and it’s done little to ameliorate over time.

The main protagonist and antagonist of My Hero Academia are just not very good.

The lead of My Hero Academia, Izuku Midoriya, isn’t a bad character per se. The angle of an ordinary kid born into a society of supermen finding himself entrusted with power by his world’s urhero is a pretty good one. It’s an underdog story with tons of good karma built in as Midoriya is forced to struggle to surpass those who had mocked his lack of abilities. It’s also good for hitting those power-fantasy notes that are so crucial to making the shounen genre work. He’s earnest and likeable. It’s easy to root for Midoriya and put yourself in his shoes as he is manages to pull himself to the front of the pack by sheer heart and willpower alone. These are all good attributes for a protagonist in a heroic work!

But as time has gone on and as his powers have developed, he has ceased to be the underdog. Where he was once only keeping up with his classmates’ inborn genius by hard work and determination, now he’s not only the most driven but also the most talented. Midoriya’s climbed what should have been the first foothill on his journey to the top, and we’ve found that there is actually nothing else on the horizon— the foothill was the mountain. Midoriya’s journey of growth being essentially complete is dire, because it’s all Midoriya actually has: It turns out he’s REALLY boring.

Midoriya’s character revolves entirely around his desire to become a hero and imitate the super hero paragon, All Might. That’s it. This is literally all there is to him. He has no other interests. No particular ambitions beyond the dream to be The Best Hero. The only real struggles remaining for him are narrative happenstance and the gradual power-ups that are practically prescribed at this point. There’s nothing else to his story.

Here’s an example: In order to convince All Might’s former side kick to give him an internship, Midoriya has to make him laugh. This isn’t going to be easy; the sidekick is a straight-laced nerd, AND he has the ability to see the future. This concept has a lot of good goof-potential. You could conceive Midoriya in all his earnestness constructing an elaborate comedic scenario that, while perhaps falling on its face, would at least show off his good qualities. Maybe he’d screw up and it’d result in the kind of unplanned comedic pratfall that would be easy for the sidekick to laugh at. 

Instead, what does Midoriya actually do? He does a bad impression of All Might of course, because “I want to be like All Might!” is his entire character! It pisses off the sidekick so much that the whole laughing angle is completely abandoned, and instead a scenario is contrived where Midoriya has to steal the approval stamp from the future-seeing sidekicks hand. Ultimately? He gets the internship because he didn’t damage any of the All Might memorabilia in the room. Midoriya’s All Might-mania would be a funny gag if it wasn’t the crux of who he is.

The only other aspects to Midoriya’s character beyond his hero-crush is his very typical shounen budding romance with Ochako Uraraka (that has not and will not ever be developed until the very end of the story, as is the staid shounen manga way), his willingness to occasionally break the rules in order to save lives (and then let McGruff the Crime Dog unironically say that he should have let his friend be murdered in front of him), and a mostly one-sided rivalry with his childhood bully Katsuki Bakugo. Only the rivalry actually feels that impactful to the story, and that has more to do with Katsuki’s personal arc than Midoriya’s.

The issue isn’t that Midoriya doesn’t have any major flaws necessarily – though that certainly doesn’t help – it’s more that there’s not much else to his personal story at this point beyond the narrative events unfolding before him. He fundamentally lacks agency and meaningful personal struggles. Things happen, and he reacts to them; his arc is essentially complete. It’s a foregone conclusion. His single-mindedness makes the story flat in a way that it really need not be.

Narratives revolving around villains doing nefarious things tend to lead to reactionary heroes, but the best heroes are ones who are more than just the mask—they’re also people. Peter Parker has a day job, has to deal with people trying to constantly hunt him down and kill him, and has to fight to balance his romantic dalliances with the responsibilities of being Spider-Man. Bruce Banner may fight the occasional radiation monster, but the Hulk’s story is more about his struggle with his own inner demons than him punching real ones. Hell even Superman, the poster Generic Nice Boy, tries to have a personal life beyond the cape and liven up his Fortress of Solitude.

There’s more to good stories than Good Man Beats Up Bad Guy. While personal struggles can be completely ancillary to the action at hand, they can also be far more challenging for the hero to surmount and far more engaging. Even if the are trivial, that doesn’t make them unimportant. Diversions may not matter much to the ongoing “plot” always, but they give the characters character. Something as inconsequential as the heroes going out to get Italian food can be huge as far as characterization goes; it speaks volumes to the interests of the characters, it humanizes them, and makes their situation more relatable.

The tragic thing is that there are major characters in My Hero Academia who would make for far better protagonist material than the actual lead if the story had been built differently. The frog-girl Tsuyu Asui is a good example. She’s been raising her siblings on her own while going to hero school due to her parents being constantly away at work. Her powers seemingly have low potential (she does whatever a frog can do), but she rises to the top by being smart with them. She wants to become a hero to help people— but seemingly doesn’t have too much of an interest in getting into the bad-guy fighting side of things. Throughout the story, she’s also wrestled with the whole legality / morality of saving people without a license, which frankly the most under explored aspect of the narrative by far given how weird and complicated the subject matter is. These are all interesting angles that easily have been built out to create a different, more engaging My Hero Academia.

Not having an engaging protagonist for your narrative puts a greater onus of the villain being interesting. For My Hero Academia, this is a BIG problem. If the hero Izuku Midoriya is uninteresting, the main villain Tomura Shigaraki is outright lame.

As is the super hero convention, Shigaraki is dark mirror of Midoriya— where Midoriya is a child who looks up to heroes and wants to grow up to be like All Might, Shigaraki is a man child who never grew up, doesn’t like heroes, and wants to murder All Might. And just like Midoriya that’s literally all there is to him. He has some kind of tragic past due to heroes not saving him when his parents died, but even that’s paper thin. Ultimately, he’s just a petulant kid who never grew up; he occasionally sends mutants his spooky adopted dad made for him to punch trucks. Because that’ll show ‘em.

The narrative openly acknowledges the fact that he doesn’t have any particular beliefs beyond disliking heroes. Other villains with actual raisons d’etre confront him about it,  and he no joke throws a tantrum over the fact that they have views. Like Midoriya, the single-note nature of the character comes across as borderline comical. (Also: his character design looks stupid.)

Villains, like protagonists, need motivations to be compelling. That motivation can be as small as being a crazy mofo or just plain greedy, but it should at least be understandable. Shigaraki isn’t a revolutionary— he’s a child with a gun. An inordinate amount of power has been thrust into his hands for no particular reason. That doesn’t actually make him feel like that great of a threat to society as a whole; it just makes him a deadly nuisance if anything. Earthquakes are unpredictable and can hurt a lot of people but that doesn’t make them particularly compelling villains.

Villains need to be likeable. Not necessarily as a people— far from it in most cases, really. But they need to have some trait that is inherently admirable to make them work as the foil for the protagonist. In X-Men, Magneto is a fantastic villain because he’s ultimately a flawed idealist; his charisma and the fact that his views sometimes seem attractive is what makes him so compelling. He’s complex. Single-mindedness too can be admirable if it’s portrayed well. Kira Yoshikage, despite being an outright serial killer still has admirable traits in just how ruthlessly efficient he is at maintaining his “ordinary life”. That doesn’t make him less reprehensible— if anything those traits are what makes him so potent a threat, far more than his murderous tendencies.

Totally uncharismatic antagonists can work as small-bit villains – but there’s a limited lifetime for which their existence is tolerable. Past that point, their continued position as a central part of the narrative just becomes annoying, if not totally implausible. How are we the audience supposed to believe that Shigaraki can amass followers and inspire loyalty in them when we cannot muster the slightest bit of admiration for him ourselves? He’s not even shitty enough for it to be played up for comical effect!

This situation is all the more crazy when you remember that My Hero Academia serializes alongside One Piece.  One Piece’s Oda Eiichiro has writing good bad guys down to a science. His bad guys range across the whole spectrum, from the immeasurably bad at their job to the point where you’re actively rooting for them (who the hell doesn’t like Buggy the Clown?) to the dark-mirror of the lead that you just love to hate (Blackbeard you monstrous son of a bitch), to a whole heap of over-zealous enforcers of law and order (go to hell Akainu). Oda’s a master at manipulating the audience’s feelings and creating characters that work in both short and large doses. Characters with short-lived appeal are dealt with appropriately, while those more sweeping interest and unexplored complexities are kept around for years. Oda will occasionally even turn past arc’s main-villains into bit-players in ongoing ones. Knowing when and how to subvert expectations like this speaks a lot to Oda’s abilities at constructing characters and narratives.

The sad thing is that I just can’t see Kohei pivoting with My Hero Academia. The trajectory My Hero Academia is on looks to be the one it’ll stick to for the future. The foregone conclusion of Midoriya’s journey is in plain sight; while I’m sure the ongoing story will take some amount of twists and turns, there’s not a lot of mystery left in how Midoriya fits into it. Shigaraki taking his place as the main villain is outright uninteresting and unappealing at this point. While the actual writing of characters and the flow of the chapters is good, the broader sweep of the work viewed from a weekly-perspective now leaves something to be desired.

I suppose there’s nothing left for me to do at this point than to let it fall to the wayside and just read at my own pace when more of the material is built up. Actively following a work as it releases requires considerably more personal investment, and I’m not sure I can muster that for this story anymore.

Oh well!

[drunkdragondoes]

Summoner AU Bonus #2: Blake Belladonna

The science world knew the Belladonna name quite well. Her mother and father, having been doctors in the field of aura studies who met by chance, were both well-published. For many the name didn’t matter. But for some it was everything.

Blake found herself not fully understanding at first. She was too young to see it at the time. But as she grew older and learned about her heritage, she felt an anger bubbling within. Had the Faunus race as a whole not done enough? There were tales of heroes and kings and queens and all of the good things they had accomplished in the name of a united humanity.

But it was the crying of her parents that broke her. Sometimes, when they thought she was already asleep, tired from hunter training, one of them would cry. Sometimes it was her mother, other times it was her father, but usually it was both for their works were linked together. One’s sorrow often drew out the other’s.

They were few and far in between. She didn’t put two and two together until a little later, when she realized that the crying tended to occur after a scientific summit or meeting. Her parents were well-respected. Scientific circles often praised what they did and based their own experiments and theories from it. But even science was burdened with its old traditions, and sometimes they got in the way.

One night, after her mother had gone to bed early, Blake moved through their house and found her father staring into an empty fireplace and she asked the question. “Father, why do you cry?” He played it off at first, but eventually she broke down the barrier and he talked. The summit he had spoken at had laid out the thesis and experiment to be carried out, and yet they rejected the findings.

“I’m not young anymore. Stop hiding from me,” she angrily said. “You’ve done nothing wrong, and there’s no reason for you to be crying like that.”

He closed his eyes and breathed long and slow. Her ears stood straight upon her head, waiting for his answer. “I cry because it acknowledges who I am.”

“But you spent a whole year on that project! It’s rude! You followed every little-”

“Blake.” He said her name with a heavy sigh, as if he still thought she was too young to understand. But she bit back her retort and quieted down, straining her ears to hear him. “I don’t cry because I question my worth as a person. I’ve never done that before. I followed the steps, I put in the time and energy, and I made sure that nothing was out of order. I cry because it is they who do not see me as such.”

Blake wanted to scream, to yell at him for his answer at the time. But despite what it seemed to carry, his back only straightened. It pushed him to his full impressive height, even if he was seated, and that was the end. She had asked why he cried, he had given it. It was her problem that she was dissatisfied by his answer.

She wanted him to say it was unfair, that he was struggling to break out of that lower status like the Faunus heroes in history and in her books. But instead he had said he was already equal on a technical level - it was the others who were trying to lower him. She hated his response.

The hunter academy also knew her last name. It was inevitable - she needed to give it if she wanted to have any chance at becoming a huntress. This meant that the world she was a part, if the average hunter ever put any time into reading books, knew where she came from. It didn’t take long for her Faunus status to come out in the social spheres she was in.

And just like how it was for her parents, for most it didn’t matter and for some it was everything.

Blake tried to ignore those some. But whenever she set foot out into the town, a black bow rested over her ears hiding who she really was. And while it kept the stares off her head and the uncommon sneer away from her, it made her teeth clench.

One day she wore it to class. She promised herself it was just this once. Then just one more time. Then she swore herself off of it, but no matter how hard she tried to step away she wanted it because otherwise she remembered that she wasn’t worthy yet.

Her partner, Yang, gave her hell and back for it all the time.

“They already know who you are, and guess what - you wipe the floor with them in class!” the blond nearly spat. “You’ve proven you’re bigger and badder! They should conform to you, not the other way around! They’re not going to care about your achievements, and frankly I don’t think you should care about what they think.”

Until one day Blake finally said something about it.

“It’s not about who’s the better hunter. Who is better doesn’t matter when I’m not the same as them. They’ll always view me differently. And besides, I don’t even have a summon yet.”

“... And what would a summon mean to you?”

“It means that I’m one of them, and they can’t deny it anymore.”

Yang was rearing to continue the fight, but she relented in the end. Since then she hadn’t said a word about her ribbon and she wore it day in and day out. It was a victory she didn’t want, not even worthy of the term pyrrhic. But it was a comfort, and at the time that was what mattered.

But all it ever did was make her angrier. If she thought about it, Yang was right. There was a time where those who mocked her didn’t have a summon, when they were trainees as well. And when she finally got a summon, that didn’t change anything because they already had one. She would just be going through the phases expected of a hunter.

So when it was time, her heart pounding in her throat and all four of her ears, with light gathering at her front in the summoning hall, eyes closed and listening, she felt her rage boil to her top again. This was the moment she was waiting for. Here was where she would become a huntress. Here was where her mockers would face the light.

Blake hoped the summon would be big, gigantic even. She hoped it’s worth a damn to prove all of the other people wrong, that she could match the prowess of a human. But as the light swirled more and more, she realized that it had stopped growing in size. The summoning had paused, and shortly afterward the light began to unravel itself. It was not a common occurrence, but neither was it unusual. In fact, it was something witnessed in perhaps forty percent of the summoning rituals with an equal occurrence across all intersectionalities.

Yet for it to happen to her now was horrifying. This was her proving moment. Yang was watching from the sides. She couldn’t lose now, not when she put so much weight into this. She tried to breath, to slow herself down. But then came the voices. They were little snickers playing in the back of her head. Words calling out to her to say lines and sentences she would never dare to repeat.

Blake began to panic.

“Faunus filth.”

“You’ll never be one of us.”

An image of bruised and defeated student wiping blood from his lips, of her putting away her sword.

“Hide behind your bow then. I know what you are.”

All this time, Blake wanted to be accepted as a human. She wanted to be able to walk down the streets and be free of the errant gaze or stare. But her two damned ears atop her head meant she could never truly be one.

Her body and breath trembled. Lips quivered before gritting her teeth in anger. Heat stung at her eyes before streaking down her cheeks.

But despite the realization, despite the pain it brought her, only one word echoed in the silence that was now her mind.

No.

It would not end here, and her eyes fell shut. Slowly, her arms pulled out Gambol Shroud from her back, holding it in front of her and pulling out the blade. In her best, slowest, calmest breaths possible, Blake’s body began to bend and turn, going through slow forms and stances and disciplines. Hardly useful for combat, but it was taught in the academy to calm and discipline the mind. Gradually she went through more advanced twists and turns, the movements drilled into her body.

Once the last step came to an end, she felt her body snap and flicker. Moving faster and faster through her own personal variations this time, she let go of the blade and used only the ribbon to control its swings and arcs. Despite her eyes being closed, she knew where it was at all times, knew just how to pull it so that no bullets fired. And she moved until her limbs burned, her rage fueling her movements until each pull and tug was followed by a roar from her lips.

This was hers, something that she had earned because she was always physically capable of doing so and drove herself to achieve it. Anyone could learn to do the basics, and with enough training anyone could do what she had done. Anyone.

She was already a hunter.

With one final tug of her ribbon, the blade arced upward and flew neatly into its sheath and she slung it across her back. Now breathing heavily, tears lost amongst sweat, she realized what her father was trying to tell her, what Yang was trying to tell her. With a steady hand, she reached for her bow and pulled, the cloth becoming undone and falling to her feet.

She didn’t feel the need to be a human anymore.

Whoosh

Her heart picked up once again. Turning her head to her side and looking past the dying light, a hulking black bull faced her, red eyes staring back. But in its mouth was the handle of a sheathed sword, elegant and beautiful.

Her rage would always be there, just like the coiled muscles of the beast before her, ready to lash out. Yet her presence of mind was refined like blade in its jaws. There would always be someone who thought less of her. There would always be those who oppressed Faunus rights. But she no longer needed their approval. She didn’t need to try and reach and be them, for she already stood tall in her own light.

Before she was was a hunter, she was a Faunus. But before she was a Faunus she was Blake Belladonna, and no one could take that away from her. Not even herself.

[marvelatmytrash]

Divided: Part 15

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader

Warnings: ANGST, SO much Angst. 

Word Count: 2914

Series Summary: You have always been one of the best agents at the Avenger’s compound, now you come face to face with the Winter Soldier and find yourself drastically underprepared. This follows along the plotline of Civil War, inserting the reader’s character into the storyline

Chapter Summary: After escaping with an unconscious Bucky in tow, reader and Steve finally have a moment to talk. 

Divided: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6Part 7 Part 8 Part 9Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Post Credit Scene

“There are helicopters still circling to the west but they don’t seem to know we’re here.” You jog towards Sam, entering the dirty and dark room. Your eyes dart to Bucky’s limp form, his torso bent at an awkward angle as his metal arm remains restrained in a mechanical vice.

“Is he still unconscious?” You ask hesitantly, pausing to listen for Bucky’s coarse breathing. “Yeah, he hasn’t moved since we got here. He’ll live… he put Steve in a much worse state last year.” Sam growled turning a stern eye to you, attempting to remind you of what Bucky was only a year ago.

“And Steve came back from it.” You spoke slowly, your eyes falling to the floor, unable to fully defend Bucky’s past actions. “It wasn’t him Sam. Back then or…” 

“Just now? When he Hulk smashed his way through the place?” Sam interrupted you, rolling his eyes as his arms cross firmly over his tense chest.

“It wasn’t him; hydra did something to him. Steve knows that! Steve went after him to keep him safe. You chose to follow Steve so why are you getting angry now?” You bite back, raising your voice slightly.

“You’re right. I did choose to follow Steve.” Sam’s voice drops, his stance cold and withdrawn. “But at a certain point, I have to wonder if I’m following Steve, or if Steve’s just following after you.”

At that he turns his back on you, walking forward to inspect the grip on Bucky’s arm, making it clear that your conversation was over. You turn away, swiftly stifling a tear as you walk out of the room.

Coming into the open space, you see Steve checking the perimeter of the east side. You move quickly and silently towards him. 

“Captain I…” His body tenses as he remains with his back to you.

“I don’t want to talk to you Y/N.” He speaks firmly, his voice low and harsh.

You stand there silently, breathing slowly as you stumble through all the things you want to apologize for in your head. For how much you’ve hurt him. For the lies. For the deception. For knowing full well what you were doing to him… but ignoring it… because it felt good. Steve always made you feel good… safe…

“Thank you… I just… Thank you for protecting me… for always protecting me. You’ve always worked so hard to keep me safe, before we were… and… even now. And I just… I don’t think I’ve ever actually said thank you.” You breathe slowly, watching him tentatively as his body tenses, his head bent forward towards the gap.

“I want to say I’m sorry, but you yelled at me last time… so thank you, thank you for everything that you’ve done for me.” He turns suddenly, remaining slightly in the shadows.

“Stop… you don’t get off that easy.” Steve’s voice is low, his body tense as he moves forward into the gaps of light. “You lied to me, Y/N. You lied to me as a lover, as a friend, and as your Captain.”

“I didn’t mean to… I promised him… I tried to convince Bucky to let me tell you. I told him how worried you were about him, how much you still cared for him, and believed in him. But Steve, he was scared, he was scared that he wasn’t himself, and that he’d never again be the Bucky you’re looking for.”

Steve stands there watching you, breathing slowly as he bites his lip, his hand flying up to pull agitatedly through his hair. “You lied to me because you promised him?” Steve speaks low, his voice rumbling in his chest as his brow furrows.

“I had been looking for him for months, for over a year Y/N. You knew that. I had talked with you, intimately, about him. You knew how badly I wanted to find him. How much he means to me!”

Steve’s voice rises rapidly, his anger reverberating in the empty warehouse, before he remembers your precarious hiding position and gains control once again, returning to a low growl. “How could you not tell me that you had found him and that there was even a shadow of the person I knew?”

“I… I don’t know… I just… I didn’t think of it like that. I got wrapped up and overwhelmed… I thought if I could just get to know him, I could convince him to come to the Avengers for help. To turn himself in. I thought I was helping…” Your voice is weak and quiet as you try to defend your choices, realizing only now how meager your logic was.  

“How long?” Steve barks, no longer patient with your excuses. 

“It’s complicated…”  You bite your lip as you try to think of the best way to explain yourself. “How long?” He asks again, arms folding across his chest as his shoulders rise and fall with heavy, annoyed breaths.

“We met in Bucharest… on that mission when I went missing. There was an explosion and I was knocked unconscious and he rescued me and took me back to his apartment. He wasn’t there that day as a hostile, he was trying to look out for you, have your back.” You explain hastily, your words falling over each other as Steve’s jaw tenses.

“That was weeks ago, months even… All the times you’ve left the compound… when you disappear after missions…” Steve looks you up and down as if seeing you clearly for the first time, his brow furrowing with anger. You nod sadly, confirming his suspicions.

Your eyes fall to the floor unable to look at Steve, unable to see the disappointment and dislike painted across his face. “Are you sleeping with him?” Steve asks quietly, your eyes flick up to him, to find his own gaze cast down now, unable to meet yours as you respond to his reluctant question.

“Yes… I… Yes…” You hear him take a deep breath, his fist clenching slightly as his jaw sets firmly. “But only after things ended with us… I started having feelings for him and I realized it wasn’t fair to you to keep…” 

“You realized it wasn’t fair to me!?” Steve’s voice rises once again as he cuts off your explanation.

“That’s when you realized it wasn’t fair to me? That after months of us sleeping together, of me clearly falling for you, weeks of you lying to me and going behind my back. It took you until developing secret feelings for my best friend, a wanted assassin, for you to realize that this was UNFAIR TO ME?” Steve’s voice rises once more, all of his anger and pain finally breaking through, showing you clearly just how badly you had hurt him.

“I’m sorry!” You yell back, tears beginning to stream from your eyes, “I fucked up. I’m sorry I hurt you. That I made selfish choices. That I lied to you… I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to do any of it! But I know I did… I understand if you hate me, but I just had to make sure you knew how sorry I am… and that I still care about you.” Your voice falters as you hiccup slightly, the tears now flowing silently down your face.

“Ain’t that the god damn kicker though…” Steve speaks slowly, shaking his head slightly as he looks at you. “I don’t hate you… I wish I could… You’ve given me every reason to… But I don’t. I can’t. I still love you. I don’t know why. And I wish I didn’t. But just because your feelings changed doesn’t mean mine did.”

You stand there silently, your eyes rising slowly to Steve’s. You feel your stomach twist at his words, hearing the sincerity of the pain in his voice, the frustration at his situation. 

But there was nothing you could say. Nothing that would make it better. Nothing that would be able to undo his feelings. Only time could.

“Do you love him?” Steve asks, his voice softer now, as his eyes fall from yours once again. 

“Yes,” you whisper quietly, hearing his breath catch in his chest at your word.

“Did you ever love me?” Steve whispers quietly, his voice tense as though struggling with himself over whether or not to even ask.

You feel a small knot form in your stomach as you think on his words. The less painful option would be to lie, and say you hadn’t, allow Steve a clean break to move on… but you had lied to him so much… would another lie really help him now…

“I thought I did… there was a time… You made me feel safe and happy… but, love is more than just happiness, it’s chemical… it’s unexplainable and irrational, as if everything else in the world is blurred except for that one person.” You speak quietly, the truth of your words surprising you.

Steve nods sadly, acknowledging your response as his hand rubs through his hair once more, sliding down his neck as his head hangs forward. 

“Hey Cap!” Sam yells down the hall, causing both of your attention to snap towards the small room.

Steve moves forward, walking past you slowly as he heads towards Sam, you hold your position, tears still sliding softly down your face. Steve stops suddenly, turning slowly to face you once more.

“Does he know? About us… Does Bucky know?” He asks, his words awkward and uncomfortable.

You shake your head, “No… There wasn’t any time… it was hard to explain.” You make fervent excuses as Steve nods, a grimace pulling across his face as he turns towards the room again, jogging forward.

You take a moment to wipe your eyes, hearing Bucky’s voice filter into the large hanger from the small room. You take a deep breath and walk slowly forward towards the room. Listening closely to gage Bucky’s presence in his own mind.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” You hear Steve growl, hearing the shadow of his anger remaining in his voice. Your steps falter as you hear Bucky’s voice in response.

“Your mom’s name was Sarah. You used to wear newspapers in your shoes.” You sink cautiously into the shadows outside of the room as your shoulders relax at the sound of Bucky’s quiet chuckle.

“Can’t read that in a museum.” Steve laughs softly, the ghost of a smile relaxing on his face. Sam, however, remained tense and defensive. 

“Just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam asks skeptically as Bucky sits up slightly, wincing at the restriction of his arm as he looks around the room, eyes falling to Steve.

“Y/N? Is she alright? Where is she?” Bucky asks in a panic. You quickly slip forward into his eyesight. 

“I’m right here, Buck. I’m ok.” You speak softly as he gently reaches out to you with his unrestrained hand.

You feel Sam and Steve tense beside you as you move forward, trusting Bucky once again as you sink to your knees beside him. Allowing his fingers to slide gently into your hair as he pulls you close to him, taking a deep breath as his grip tenses protectively around you.

You burrow into his shoulder, a sob threatening to rip from your chest once more as you finally relax, feeling safe in the comfort of his arms, his familiar smell permeating your mind. His fingers twitch softly in your hair, rubbing your scalp as he hugs you closely.

“What did I do?” He asks softly, his voice gravely in your ears as it rumbles through his chest. You pull back from him slightly, keeping his hand in your hair as you turn your worried eyes to Steve, shooting him a look of caution. 

“Enough…” Steve confirms, a look of empathy flashing across his face for his poor friend.

Bucky sighs as his gaze falls, his eyes closing sadly “Oh, God, I knew this would happen. Everything Hydra put inside me is still there.” He looks sadly at you, biting his lip slightly as he looks at your face, his fingers twitching slightly as his thumb rubs lovingly against your cheek.

He turns back to Steve, looking up with somber eyes, “All he had to do was say the goddamn words.” 

“Who was he?” Steve asks worriedly.

“I don’t know” Bucky sighs turning towards you again as your hand flies up to his cheek, pushing his hair out of his face.

“Bucky, it’s ok…” 

“People are dead. The bombing… the setup…” Steve interrupts you, his words hurried and harsh as he interrogates Bucky, “The doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you.” His voice is stern, causing Bucky to recoil slightly as you shoot an angry look at Steve “I need you to do better than ‘I don’t know.”

Bucky looks up at Steve again, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion as he tries to remember. His lip twitches as he tries to form the full thought.

“He wanted to know about Siberia,” Bucky says finally, the look of confusion still etched on his face. He pauses for a moment, thinking further before adding, “Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where.”

“Why would he need to know that?” Steve asks cautiously, his confusion mirroring Buckys. Bucky tenses beside you, his gaze flashing to you as his fingers pull back from your hair, sliding down to your shoulder, his gaze flicking back to Steve in horror.

“Because…” He starts, the fear and worry causing his voice to fall into a low growl once more. “I’m not the only Winter Soldier.”

Bucky began to explain about a stolen serum. How it was administered to Hydra’s top 5 most lethal assassins. As Bucky spoke, you, Sam, and Steve cycled through asking questions. As he explained, Bucky moved slightly wincing at the restriction of his metal arm.

“Can’t we release him already? I think it is well established that he’s not going to attack us for fuck's sake.” You raise your eyebrows at Steve as he nods towards Sam. Sam reluctantly moves forward, flicking the switches and raising the lever that releases Bucky.

Bucky winces slightly as his hand is freed, stretching the metal fingers as he rotates his arm gently, testing the full range of motion. You rise once more to your knees beside him, raising your eyebrows at him to make sure he is alright. He nods slightly as his hand grazes your cheek softly, flashing a small reassuring smile at you.

“Who were they?” Steve continues, wanting more information on the chosen assassins. Bucky’s attention flashes back to Steve, the tension in his jaw returning 

“Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in Hydra history. And that was before the serum.”

Sam had returned to his withdrawn position, leaning cautiously against the doorframe, but he spoke up now, “They all turn out like you?” He asks, barely hiding his dislike of Bucky.

“Worse.” Bucky shoots back, tensing slightly in response to Sam’s hostility. You shift in your sitting position on the floor, drawing back closer to Bucky.

“The doctor, could he control them?” Steve asks, drawing Bucky’s attention back to him, Bucky sighs as his gaze flashes down to you, a small flash of fear dancing across his face.

“Enough.” Bucky nods, confirming Steve’s fear.

“He said he wanted to make an empire fall,” Steve remembers, his gaze flashing to Sam as he thinks back on his encounter with the imposter. “With these guys, he could do it,” Bucky confirms cautiously, “They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night, you’d never see them coming.”

Bucky rambles off all the information he has, causing both Sam and Steve to tense as they realize the direness of the situation. Sam moves forward to converse with Steve, the new information now on the table.

Bucky’s head drops forward as they talk, “Hey, you did good.” You whisper as your hands fly up to his face once more, your lips rising to meet his in a soft kiss, his arms wrapping gently around you in response. “Now that we know what we’re up against, we can fight it.”

He pulls back slightly, his gaze falling once more, “Just like you had to fight me…” He whispers, his voice full of shame, “Hey… hey… Bucky, that wasn’t you. That wasn’t your fault.” His eyes flash back up to yours, his gaze tracing over your tattered and bruised appearance.

“I could have hurt you… I could have killed you…” He whispers, his voice wavering slightly. “You didn’t, you never would.” You whisper quietly as your lips rise to meet his once more, your fingers slipping softly into his hair as you pull him closer to you.

“We’re on our own” Steve announces to the room at large, interrupting your moment with Bucky as you awkwardly withdraw from him. 

“On our own? But what about Tony, surely he’ll help once we explain the real threat?” You respond, confused at Steve’s decision.

“The accords limit his ability to intervene, the doctor is already ahead of us, we have to act soon if we want to stop him. So for now, we are on our own.” Steve declares. 

“Maybe not…” Sam interrupts tentatively, everyone in the room looks at him skeptically as he smiles slightly, “I know a guy…”

Part 16

Authors Note:  Alright, I am hopefully back for real, and will have more time to write, so ideally I will be updating more. As for this scene, to my darling Steve lovers, I’m sorry. (Not really) That being said, I hope you all enjoy it, I always love hearing from you guys, so drop a line with thoughts or predictions! Also, Civil War is now on Netflix, so you all should definitely rewatch asap <3  Tagging is open, just ask

Tags: @imhereforbvcky @heismyhunter @iamtal @nickel5socks @ohmygoshbucky @person0thats0not0a0people0person @spacegaystrashcompactor @creideamhgradochas @shamvictoria11 @discophony @imheretomarvel @k-nighttt @lbouvet @mitra-k-w @pabegay1 @unevenpages @spookymlder @ginamsmith @sapphire1727 @making-the-most-0f-it @alphaallie @myhighanddry-blog @denialanderror @nykitass @colt-eleven-impala-sixtyseven @feelmyroarrrr @lilacs-lavender @yknott81 @almondbuttercup @callamint @thisisthelilith @angel--radio @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @nikkitia7 @himasugi @amrita31199 @avengerofyourheart @nodramaaloud @ailynalonso15 @you-didnt-see-that-cuming @watch-out-for-thorns @thewintersoldierprogram @skeletoresinthebasement @specs15 @marvel-lucy @seargantbcky @hardcorehippos @brittanymcsharry @runaway-escape @kyloreindeer @buckybarnesisalittleshit @demondeansdomme @emmatheawesome @buckyn0 @kaiyaisbae @i-swam-through-twelve-oceans @umm-sorry @originalaura @chrisevansisdaddy04 @captain-sassy-bum @mairhof1 @dont-let-me-go-again @givemethatgold @sorryidontspeakgrounder-world @kristygear @factorfreshness @maygenjayne1 @kristygear @eloquentpetrichorpeculiar @charlottedurin99 @sammyissassy 

[adambstingus]

6 Backward Ideas Hollywood Still Has About Men

Men are complicated, nuanced beings. No two men define masculinity the same way, and each of their boners hides its own precious secret. Many are desperate for every woman to love them, while at the same time compelled to explain their own jokes to them on Twitter. But despite the vast and wondrous spectrum that is man, Hollywood seems to have extremely specific ideas of what a man is supposed to be. And it’s not super great.

6

If You’re Less Than 6 Feet Tall, You’re Not A Real Man

You can be the most handsome, witty, charismatic male on Earth, but if you’re one inch below average height, then tough shit. Hollywood will desperately avoid revealing that awful truth to the audience, lest they vomit in the aisles with disgust. Such is the life of a short action star.

If shortness is acknowledged on screen, it’s as a punchline — a hilarious inadequacy that either leads to constant, desperate attempts at comedy or a life of crime as a bad guy’s sidekick. Movies would have us believe that short people live a life of existential struggle, that they are nothing more than incomplete souls crying out from children’s clothes.

The average height of an American male is 5 feet 9.5 inches tall. (Strangely enough, surveys reveal this is the exact same length of the average American penis.) Tom Cruise is famously 2.5 inches shorter than this average, but we only know that because our own insecurity demands we find a flaw, any flaw, in this 54-year-old man with 2 percent body fat and chiseled features that become only more handsome with age. Yet you’d never know he was a tiny man from watching his movies. For example, Ving Rhames is over 6 feet, but he’s shorter than Tom in that picture up there. How? Is he sitting down? Forty yards behind him? Take look at another shot from Mission: Impossible …

Mark Whalberg is 5’8 and Zac Efron is 5’8. Sylvester Stallone is barely two apples high. And yet every time they’re in a movie, they are looking all the normal people in the eyes, filmmakers forcing them to stand on little boxes to hide that they are grotesque, undersized genetic failures.

And god forbid we reveal that the 5’9 Robert Downey Jr. is in fact 3 inches shorter than Chris Evans. We could do this all day!

Question: Do you think this weird prejudice is with filmmakers or audiences? Do you really think we’d refuse to be inspired by a hero who possesses every other positive trait on Earth — courage, humor, charm, muscles, wealth, confidence, sexuality — if they can comfortably ride in the back seat of a Civic? It’s not like we’re expecting the hero to solve every mystery and defeat every bad guy with slam dunks. Although now that we think about it, that sounds like a pretty sweet goddamn movie.

So if you’re a short (or even average height!) male watching, then guess what: The only trait that apparently matters is the one you can’t do anything about.

5

You Can’t Just Be Smart; You’ve Also Got To Kick Ass

Back in the 1980s, we didn’t care if our burly action heroes could say anything coherent. Arnold Schwarzenegger talked like a moose trying to describe the peanut butter in its mouth, and Sylvester Stallone sounded like that same moose gently lowering itself onto a whoopee cushion. We didn’t care, though, because their swollen pecs and rattling M60s did all the talking for them.

“Aarraragaooooaaahhhh!!!” — John Rambo

In an ’80s action movie, diplomacy was a dick-measuring contest with a stick of dynamite, and Jean-Claude Van Damme always won. Heroes weren’t paid to be smart; they were paid to strangle mooks and walk silently away from exploding gas stations.

We’re obviously so much more sophisticated these days. The good guys in movies can’t be musclebound meat sacks anymore — they have to hold multiple PhDs and have a particular set of skills for every occasion. Ethan Hunt can speak 75 languages while maintaining the sexy abs of Instagram’s douchiest bro. Jason Bourne can predict his opponents’ every move ten steps in advance. Even the biggest, dumbest superhero, the Hulk, spends most of his movies as one of the planet’s leading scientists.

Marvel Studios To be fair, this is a pretty smart way to take down a fighter jet.

It would be nice to think that the message is “Even nerds can be cool!” But these guys don’t win by being nerds. In nearly every case, the real heroism comes in the form of a punch to the throat.

Remember those Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes movies, in which Sherlock uses his brilliant mind to beat the shit out of guys in shirtless pit fights? That was weird, right? But at least it shows him fighting as a hobby, to get good at it — the BBC version also wins every fistfight he’s in and can easily out-dive exploding bombs. You also might remember in the new Star Trek movies, wherein Mr. Spock uses his Vulcan logic to form plans like “Hold my beer, I’m going to go fuck that guy up.”

Warner Bros. Pictures “I can tell by the speck of paint on your shoes that your face is quite susceptible to temple punches.”

Take Tony Stark out of the Iron Man suit, and he can still beat the hell out of a mansion full of henchmen in Iron Man 3. When Transformers 4 needed a nerdy inventor protagonist, it cast this guy:

In fact, if you’re in a Hollywood film and you realize you’re only brilliant, we have some bad news for you: You’re not the hero. In fact, you’re probably the obnoxious sidekick nerd. Check to see if you’re Simon Pegg or Seth Green. If you’re not, we have more bad news: You’re probably the villain.

The message is clear, boys: Brains are fine, but only if you use them to invent better punching. And if you use your mind exclusively for non-punching endeavors, you’re either ridiculous or evil.

4

Broken, Tortured Men Are Sexy

There’s something sexy about a dead-serious man willing to do anything to get the job done. The Batmans and Liam Neesons of the world, men who ruthlessly cut through criminal organizations while brooding about the atrocities they’ve been forced to commit. Even the supposedly goody-two-shoes Superman now scowls as he struts out of exploded court houses filled with charred corpses and jars of pee. Is any of this sexiness getting you hot and bothered yet? Too bothered?

They are almost never seen eating, but always drink. If they’re in bed, they’re having nightmares about those they’ve lost (or, you know, having sex). They are emotionally cold and distant when they’re not being glib. This is all done in the name of emotional complexity, but can we still call it that when every character is the same?

For example, why does Hollywood refuse to accept Superman as simply a morally sound hero who genuinely wants to help people? Struggling to protect those weaker than him is a perfectly legitimate problem. Did they think we couldn’t relate to him unless he cried in an ice cave like he’s in an Evanescence music video? Did they think he’d look like a “pussy” if he didn’t destroy an entire city and snap Zod’s neck in front of two children?

Every action movie and show seems to be in an arms race to give their stars the most severe PTSD or the highest number of dead loved ones. It used to be we that showed how grizzled a cop was by how old the Chinese takeout was in his filthy refrigerator. Now it’s measured by how many times he flashes back to his family getting tied to chairs and set aflame.

It’s not like this is making these characters more relatable to young males. (“See, he has problems just like you!”) After all, it’s not like they are heroic despite their tortured psychology, or that it’s something to overcome. The psychological damage is the source of their power — John Wick is a boring retired dude until a pair of tragedies utterly destroy his life, at which point he expresses his grief through numerous therapeutic sessions of gun-fu. Mad Max’s defining character trait is that he never smiles, jokes, or shares anything about himself — telling a comrade his name is treated as a shocking breakthrough.

At every turn, the message is the same: You’re not a true, sexy badass unless you’re a tortured shell of a man.

3

Movie Princes Are Non-People

A lot of analysis has gone into movie princesses, specifically the ones Disney has been cranking out for most of a century. That’s because for decades, they were the only lead female characters in kids movies, which put a lot of pressure on them to be positive role models. They taught young girls how to believe in themselves and be courageous, but also that a woman’s greatest virtues are good looks and shutting up.

We’re not paraphrasing; that’s literally a verse in a Disney song.

Still, no matter who you are, there’s a solid chance you can name ten Disney princesses off the top of your head. On the other hand, can you name more than two or three Disney princes? Probably not, because most of the movies don’t even bother giving the poor bastards names. The characterization of the princesses might send mixed messages, but the princes are forgettable handsome shells containing zero personality and a fetish for teen girls. They exist only to rescue the women.

Cinderella’s dream husband? He doesn’t have a name. Beast from Beauty And The Beast? Aside from that mean nickname, he has no actual name. Snow White’s prince? Maybe he’s a Trevor? Could be a Graham or a Tony. We’ll never know, because the writers didn’t think the character was worth naming. These movies give names to the horses and the mice, but not the princes.

The main characters are supposed to spend the rest of their lives with these guys, and the only thing we know about them is that they’re single, heterosexual, and not child molesters. Except wait — we don’t know any of that. The only thing we know about Disney princes is that they fall in love easily and have no problem putting their mouths on sleeping strangers. Finding a girl in the woods and licking her awake isn’t a great contribution to a relationship.

The point is that when it comes to royal romances, a princess brings dynamic character and a sense of adventure. A prince is handsome and has nothing better to do. We suppose the rebuttal is that these are fantasies for little girls and not boys, but that doesn’t make it any better. What’s the message for them? “Some day you’ll meet a walking mannequin who will be perfect for you for one reason: He’s a prince.“

2

Prison Rape Is Hilarious

Jokes about female rape are still circulating out there (though not as many as were a few years ago), but it was always rare, if not unheard of, to see a movie play a violent male-on-female sexual assault for laughs. But if the victim is a male and doing time? It seems there is nothing funnier.

It’s this reprehensible nightmare of a thing — the worst thing happening in the worst possible circumstances — yet Hollywood cannot get enough of prison rape jokes. To show you how easy going we are about it, realize that every time anyone ever joked “Don’t drop the soap!” they were hilariously referring to a criminal raping you. Jokes about it are so acceptable they show up on SpongeBob SquarePants. They refer to it in Naked Gun and Guardians Of The Galaxy, and they hang the entire plot of Get Hard on it. If Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart had negotiated their contract to get paid $15 per rape joke, they could have tripled their multi-million-dollar salaries. This is a real, horrible phenomenon that’s happening to someone, somewhere, right now.

The unspoken implication is that these victims deserve it. Really? Is that what we’re going with — that our civilized society has built a justice system in which one of the punishments for selling weed or stealing a car is the possibility of being violated? Even if Congress codified that into the law, even if we decided that rape is a suitable punishment for tax evasion, it would still be super weird to joke about it. And if the victim is himself a rapist, so what? You’re trivializing the very thing he’s guilty of.

This is, in fact, part of a larger trend …

1

Men Are Cannon Fodder

In the real world, human life is a precious thing to be protected by all means. In a movie, lives are snuffed out as punchlines. Human bodies get blasted into pieces any time a film needs to pick up the momentum, and when we say “human,” we specifically mean “men’s.”

Yeah, we talk about how filmmakers and moviegoers are desensitized to violence, but that’s not true — it’s only violence against men. Let’s look at an example. In this fleeting moment of awesomeness from Batman v. Superman, Batman bursts up through the floor and pounds the shit out of a group of thugs.

He’s still working through the sting of not getting a Best Director nomination for Argo.

It’s pretty fun, right? Now imagine it was a warehouse full of women. Everything else is the same. They’re still armed, still up to no good, but every time Batman crushes one of their collar bones, it’s a woman’s voice screaming out in pain. Turn up the sound on that clip — imagine every painful grunt is a female voice. Imagine if the heads Batman smashed into the floor had ponytails and eye shadow.

We’re not even sure that sequence makes it into the theater — somebody at the studio would get Zack Snyder some counseling as soon as they saw the script. It’s not because women would be no physical match for Batman; nobody is a match for Batman. He is tearing through those guys like a rat terrier loose in a hamster cage. The fact is, that kind of violence toward women would hit you in the gut. When it’s dudes, it’s either awesome or hilarious.

You can do this with any action movie. Imagine watching Return Of The Jedi, only every time a Stormtrooper head is bashed in by an Ewok, you hear a female scream. It would be chilling — the cops would kick in George Lucas’ door and assume he has a crowd of female corpses in his freezer. It’d be equally weird if he had, say, given the battle droids in the prequels Jennifer Tilly’s voice. And remember in The Two Towers when Legolas and Gimli are whimsically counting out their kills? Can you picture that being the same kind of fun if those were female orcs?

In fact, find any movie in which a human death is treated as slapstick, make the victims female, and you are left with a video suitable only for a serial killer’s crawlspace. Indiana Jones once comically shot three Nazis with a single bullet:

If you can’t watch the clip, there’s a little comedy music cue that plays as their bodies slump aside. Imagine all three are women; at the very least, it becomes deeply uncomfortable. (“Uh, was Spielberg going through a rough divorce when they made this?”)

And no, we’re obviously not demanding Hollywood show more women getting butchered to make it equal. We’re not demanding they show us fewer dead dudes. We’re just saying that we’ve definitely been conditioned to react a certain way to on-screen brutality, and the difference between dread and hilarity is usually whether or not the victim has a penis.

That’s weird, right?

Guy Bigel is a professional flute player, and he uploads fun arrangements to his YouTube channel. Check out his stuff here. Jordan Breeding has a blog, a Twitter, and wishes Hollywood would portray him as a super nerd with biceps the size of basketballs.

For more horrible ways Hollywood influences us, check out 6 Obnoxious Assumptions Hollywood Makes About Women and 6 Insane Stereotypes That Movies Can’t Seem to Get Over.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/6-backward-ideas-hollywood-still-has-about-men/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/176405958897

[junker-town]

Ric Flair's 30 for 30 doesn’t tell the whole story, and it's Ric Flair's fault

13 thoughts on the big, messy life of one of wrestling’s greats.

1. The Ric Flair documentary Nature Boy features a story about Ric Flair surviving a plane crash. The plane was a Cessna 310 headed from Charlotte to Wilmington, North Carolina, and it overloaded at takeoff with beefy wrestlers and a promoter, David Crockett. The pilot dumped fuel to compensate for all the extra weight and tried to switch to the tanks in the wings—empty fuel tanks, it turns out—and the engine died. The plane fell rapidly, narrowly missed hitting the water tower of a prison, and hit the ground just short of the runway in a stall at around 100 miles per hour.

The crash cracked three vertebrae in Ric Flair’s back. When Flair healed and got out of the hospital, he became Ric Flair, the flamboyant, rhinestone robe-wearing, trash-talking, luxury brand wrestler completely. There is before the crash, when Flair would live as Richard Fliehr off camera, and there is after the crash. That’s all in the movie.

What isn’t in the movie: The time he was struck by lightning and lived while another man died, or the time a well-past-sixty Flair got pantsless onstage Myrtle Beach bar and ordered drinks on the house, or the time he went overseas for a tour where he desperately needed the money, but found a bar on arrival and bought drinks for the bar with money he didn’t have, or...oh god, the spaghetti incident. The spaghetti incident is not in the movie, and if the spaghetti incident isn’t in the movie, well, it has to make you wonder what other lunacy sits on a cutting room floor somewhere.

2. That is not the fault of Nature Boy as a documentary. Like almost everything in the documentary, that is Ric Flair’s fault. Ric Flair is at fault for so many things, according to the principal witnesses in Nature Boy. Ric Flair is to blame for losing the money, all of it, every night to bartenders, to attorneys, to the former Governor of North Carolina whom he bought a limo from after bragging about having a limo, and then realizing he didn’t have one. Ric Flair paid a random teenager in Charlotte $25 a night to drive him around and called him “his driver.” That’s not in the documentary either, by the way. Ric Flair told the audience that afterwards in the Q and A in Atlanta. Ric Flair can’t even tell all of Ric Flair’s stories at once.

Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

3. The witnesses detailing this include a legendary roster of wrestlers and friends, sure, but the principal witness—and most damaging one—is Ric Flair himself. He is situated front and center, interviewed by director Rory Karpf sitting just off camera. Flair looks like someone who treated his body brutally, but honestly given what wrestling for forty years while drinking heavily could do to a person, Flair—on the outside, at least—looks great.

4. He starts to look even better when he talks about what being Ric Flair entailed: at least ten drinks a day, to start, along with wrestling two or three times a night for years on end, the aforementioned random plane crashes and other perks of constant travel, all while somehow staying in wrestling shape year-round. Despite attempting to destroy himself with prejudice in his prime (and well beyond it), the documentary brings in heavy hitters and bit players in wrestling to all acknowledge the same thing: for most of his career, Ric Flair was a brilliant technical wrestler who made everyone around him better.

5. That part might be the most comfortably compelling part of the entire documentary. A genuinely humble-seeming Hulk Hogan shows up just to admit he could only wrestle four kinds of short matches, while in comparison Flair could go full-bore for an hour in any scenario you liked. Ricky Steamboat talks about Flair’s unreal stamina and the brutal workouts they endured as rookie trainees in Verne Gagne’s wrestling camps. The Undertaker not only talks, but thoughtfully and approvingly breaks down Flair’s technique in the ring. That’s not surprising to anyone who knows Mark Calaway outside of the ring, but is still jarring for the casual viewer used to only seeing his face rise ominously out of a coffin or glowering from under a hat.

The file footage backs that up brilliantly, too. When Sting laughs and says Ric Flair was “the biggest whiner in the ring ever,” there’s a fantastic cut to scenes of Flair operatically flying to the mat, pleading to the referee, and taking a theatrical beating from Sting. There’s also the follow-up by Sting: That as a young wrestler, Sting wasn’t owed any of that. Yet Flair went out of his way to coach up-and-coming wrestlers in the ring, and sold their moves with complete commitment to the bit, all out of a real generosity he showed to his partners in the ring. If anything in a story about wrestling is real, it’s that. Flair, at least in the ring, appears as the most caring, charismatic, and giving man who ever eye-gouged someone in a Loser Leaves Town match.

6. The rest of his life is the expected disaster—maybe more so than expected, actually. There are all those interviews and file footage, but Most of Nature Boy is told by Flair himself, in his own words. Note: Not told by Richard Fleihr, but Ric Flair. According to Flair, the guy with his birth name was “some guy who couldn’t last one year at the University of Minnesota.” The interviews with his first wife, Leslie Goodman, are particularly haunting for that switch: At some point after the plane crash in North Carolina, the persona of Ric Flair took over, and Richard Fleihr ceased to exist.

7. It would be possible to watch the entire documentary and take it as a standard sports dramatic cycle of rise-excess-fall-tragedy-redemption. That could be done, if you wanted to watch it that way. There is a fantastic segment about Flair’s rivalry and in-the-ring creative partnership with Dusty Rhodes. There are all the stories of Flair’s drinking and profligacy and his distant relationship with his parents. (Who according to Flair saw him wrestle a total of three times in his life.) There is—with some careful editing—the redemption of Flair’s failure as a father with his son, Reid, through his daughter Charlotte’s entry into professional wrestling.

8. Nature Boy can go that way, if you want it to. It’s also possible to see Flair slowly sink into the horror of his later career and demolished personal life and see a person so devoured by his onstage persona he never recovered. Seeing Flair talk about his son Reid—who overdosed at the age of 25 trying to start a professional wrestling career like his father—is excruciating. It’s also made excruciatingly clear that Ric Flair had no ability whatsoever to parent his children, much less deal with their problems when they became adults and needed real help. The attention to detail and generosity in the ring translated to outright negligence outside it.

Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

9. Worse: By the time all 90 minutes of Nature Boy rolls by, it’s clear that there really is no difference between the in-ring character and the man. It’s not that the tears aren’t sincere: It’s that at every point in the interviews with Flair—even the most emotional, vulnerable points—it feels like Ric Flair is selling. It’s genuine, but it’s the kind of genuine you get from someone with a overpracticed, stage-ready genuine. At the end Nature Boy has Flair holding his daughter’s hand up in triumph in the ring after Charlotte wins her first WWE title. The scene is heartrending: he’s clearly a proud father, but also Ric Flair basking in the role of being Ric Flair in the spotlight.

10. The most moving scene in the documentary, appropriately enough, involves his other family: Wrestlers. More specifically, it involves a wrestler, Shawn Michaels, chosen to retire Flair in a Career-Threatening Match at Wrestlemania XXIV. Present-day Michaels is interviewed for the segment. He sounds little like his in-ring persona, and openly mourns for what Flair had become: A wrestler who stayed too long, gave almost everything to the business, and let whatever was left leave with his alter ego. For Michaels, Ric Flair went from an idol to a warning.

Then Nature Boy lets the scene roll: The retirement match, after nearly thirty minutes of classic Flair struggle, ending with Flair eye-poking Michaels, nearly pulling off a pin out of nowhere, then taking a massive counter hit and staggering in the ring waiting to be finished. Michaels plays the role of remorseful finisher to the hilt, even pulling a move before it starts, too overcome to end a legend’s career.

Michaels then says “I’m sorry, I love you,” and ends the match with a pin, a post match kiss on the forehead, and a grief-stricken retreat from the ring.

It’s not real, and it’s also as real as anything else in Nature Boy.

11. That’s probably Ric Flair’s fault, too. With no separation between the ring and real life, Ric Flair in Nature Boy is never off duty. Everything is a sell, or a work. It’s bad enough when his ex-wife or his son says as much. It is much, much worse when the bulk of the evidence comes from the man himself through on-camera interviews. Flair happily admits to the excess of Ric Flair being completely real, but also shows no ability to introspect and consider why it all happened in the first place. Rory Karpf tries gamely and repeatedly to get Flair to talk about his chilly relationship with his parents. He gets nothing. The overwhelming sense is not that he’s stonewalling, but that after years of embracing the act there might not be anything back there anymore.

13. This wasn’t in the movie, either. After the screening I attended in Atlanta there was a Q and A with Flair, where he talked about the aforementioned spaghetti incident, how he got drunk after a match in Philadelphia, went to dinner, screamed “I GOT ELEVEN OF THESE” at the table and threw his $30,000 Rolex watch into a plate of spaghetti. The next morning, he had to go through the trash trying to find it. This is also when he told us about the time lightning struck his umbrella while he was getting off a plane in Charlotte in 1983, bounced to the man behind him in line, and killed that man. He explained neither of these, and then offered to buy everyone drinks next door.

12. TL; DR: It would be very hard to write a wrestling version of Sunset Boulevard and not cast Ric Flair as Norma Desmond. Nature Boy’s biggest fault is being too short to encompass the extravagant, rhinestone-dotted plane crash that Ric Flair’s life evidently was and still is. But after 90 minutes you get the point: Ric Flair was ready for his closeup, and after 90 sometimes hilarious minutes of looking at it, the face looking back after a lifetime of hard-lived wheelin’, dealin’, and kiss-stealin’ can be a terrifyingly empty one.

13. In conclusion, say it with me in a sad, low Ric Flair voice after considering the impermanence of humanity’s greatness, and and the hollowness of fame writ large on a single man rendered incapable of taking care of the ones he loves through ego-driven self-deletion and alcoholism: Woooooooooo.

[thejohncamp3ablog]

JOHN CAMPEA: THE UGLY STATE OF MARVEL DENIAL

Back in 2008 when Jon Favreau’s Iron Man hit the big screens it signaled what Marvel fans had been waiting for… a cinematic universe for their B characters. For years they had to watch as DC successfully launched titles such as Batman and Superman culminating in 2012’s The Dark Knight Rises . For the most part we all enjoyed those films along with the die hard DC fans, but it gave them fans of Marvel, an even greater hunger to see the likes of Captain America, Trash Panda, Rocket Raccoon, Black Panther and others up there as well.

Iron Man was met with the critical praise that most of us were surprised by. A small majority of critics didn’t like the film (currently a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes), but it failed to connect with those critics on the same level as WB’s Batman films by Christopher Nolan did. On a personal note, I absolutely loved Iron Man and my love for the film has only grown with each passing viewing. To me, Favreau’s film is a masterpiece in the genre. A sombering look at a billionaire who thought himself a Wayne, raised practically in a mansion with a butler while in plain sight, completely unaware of his own identity with no abilities that could even hint this pompous money spender and war lover can become a hero. A person deeply hated yet resoundingly alone in the universe. And when that old man finally discovered his identity, his origin, he is confronted by new questions and new struggles. The question “who am I” transforms into “who should I become”? Confronted by the contrasting philosophies of 2 fathers and a world that could possibly fear and misunderstand him yet needs him desperately at the same time, Tony Stark becomes the Iron Man. It’s astonishing. I wish more people saw it the way I do.

But many people did not see it the way I did. Many fans and critics alike found Iron Man too much of a departure from the “classic” Iron Man they had known and imagined. Tony wasn’t the same person as in the comics, he had completely become Robert Downey JR, down to the clothes and the witty charm. It was more boring than they we hoped. It was more fun and comical than they had hoped and it was a disappointment in my eyes. Despite my vehement disagreement all I could do as a fan was realise film is subjective and just because I loved it doesn’t mean they have to and hope they enjoy whatever the next film Disney and Mickey Mouse put out.

However, while the majority of Marvel fans adopted the same mindset as I did, some did not. Some allowed their disbelief that others would not share in their love for Iron Man to turn to bitterness which then eventually turned to resentment. Resentment towards those who didn’t like Iron Man, to those who gave overly good reviews to Iron Man and eventually to the DC films that seemed to be enjoying more super heroic images than trash pandas. Instead of celebrating their own enjoyment of the film Marvel and Mickey Mouse had given us, their attention turned to placing blame on those they perceived to be their “enemies”.

This situation became amplified with the release of Iron Man 2 and The Incredible Hulk . Two films that were failures in the box office and didn’t show anything new or interesting to the masses. However, instead of being the movies that would unite all comic book movie fans, they once again were Trash Pandas. The majority of critics and many fans walked out of these movies crying.

This wasn’t just another batch of trash movies. Those were the ones we had been waiting for. This was Fucking Iron Man 2. Even those who enjoyed the film, like myself, had to acknowledge that there were a number of weaknesses in the movie that didn’t play well with the audience or the critics. Again, the majority of Marvel/Disney film fans understood that other people didn’t need to like Iron Man 2 to validate their own enjoyment of the film. The majority of Marvel film fans celebrated their enjoyment instead of focusing on others who didn’t enjoy it. Sadly though, within a small portion of the Marvel fan community, a culture of denial set in. Not a harmless quite denial, but rather a venomous and bitterness fueled denial that refused to acknowledge even the slightest flaw in the Marvel Trash Cinematic Universe while purposefully setting out to vilify anyone, or anything that either didn’t enjoy the films or pointed out problems with the current situation. They even began to turn on their own, attacking fellow fans of Marvel film who were not positive enough for their tastes to better suite their narrative.

This culture of denial has manifested itself in several unhealthy ways:

1) THEY ASCRIBE NO MOTIVES TO CRITICS WHO DID LIKE THE FILMS

A normal healthy film fan, like the majority of Marvel film fans, will see that a critic or another fan did not like a movie they enjoyed and say to themselves “Oh that’s a shame they didn’t like it. Oh well, I liked it.” and that would be the end of it. However, in this subculture of Marvel denial a negative review of a movie (by a critic or a fan) is perceived as a direct attack on themselves. For a critic to say Iron Man 3 was complete utter trash is to delegitimize their own opinion (obviously this is not the case, but it is how some people perceive it). Subconsciously these people believe that if someone says a Disney movie isn’t good, then they are directly being attacked.

What it breaks down to is that since they can not come to grips with others not enjoying the films they enjoy without it feeling like an undermining of their own enjoyment, they create ulterior motives for the naysayer calling Ant-man anything less than brilliant.

Hence, the denier would rather believe that the critics were afraid to tell the truth, or that the critics had a secret pro Marvel meeting and prefer to say what the popular opinion is, than believe the critics just honestly hate the film. As ludicrous as it sounds, to the denier, it was more feasible that Warner Brothers actually make much better films for adults, than to admit they have been loving children movies with zero substance, terrible villains, bad music scores, ugly cinematography, phoned in acting and generic ass plots.

2) THEY WILL TURN ON THEIR OWN

Much like extremist religious movements, be it Christian extremists, Muslim extremists or any number of others, to the denier being a Marvel fan is not enough. Those in Marvel denial are all in or nothing. It’s not enough to them that you liked Iron Man. It’s not enough to them that you thought I Doctor Strange was a good Benny Hill rip off. It’s not even enough if you have a Wasp tattoo on your left leg. If you don’t profess complete love for everything in the MCU movies and every bit of news coming out about MCU, then you are no longer welcome among them. You are now the enemy and you shall be treated as such.

I’ve not only watched this play out with people I know who legitimately love the Marvel properties, but its happened to myself as well. Despite the fact that I am the world’s biggest champion and defender of Iron Man, despite the fact that I am one of the minority of film critics who actually liked Avengers Age of Boredom and despite the fact that I am also one of the few critics who gave Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 a positive review… I am absolutely hated by those hardcores in MCU denial. Why? Because I express frustration and doubt in Disney handling of the Marvel properties when numerous events happen that would cause any sane fan to feel frustration and doubt. Yes, that the level of honesty I have towards doing reviews, you can check my Star Wars review, I am not some fan boy that cares for the brand.

From my perspective, if you are truly a fan, you will care when things are not going right. If you are really a fan, you will be frustrated when things seem to be mishandled. But those in MCU denial don’t see things that way. To them, any utterance of truth to their trash movies, any whisper of doubt is paramount to high treason. You are the enemy. You are a “hater”. They don’t care if you love Marvel and Star Wars and Baby Groot… you don’t love them the way they say you should love them and therefore you are “not one of us”.

3) THEY DEVELOP AN US VS THEM MENTALITY

Those in MCU denial need multiple targets for their misplaced anger and resentment. While the majority of Disney fans are level headed people who celebrate everything in the world of comic-book films, those in MCU denial believe in a 1 world view totalitarian fandom. If you are truly a Marvel bitch fan (by their twisted logic) you can not acknowledge any redeeming qualities in any movie by DC or Fox. By their definition, to love MCU means you must also hate FOX. It is the purest manifestation of an unhealthy fandom. This is not to say that anyone MUST enjoy DC films, but when your hatred of another film is automatic your default position due to the fact that it comes from the “enemy” brand, something is seriously wrong with your fandom.

The toxic progression of this is it moves from just an automatic hatred for the “enemy” films, but also for those that are actually fans of the “enemy” brand. We see this play out every day on almost every chat thread across the web. One can not mention Batman, Batgirl, Nightwing or Superman in a thread without an all out “DCEU sucks!” troll battle breaking out. The fallout is that casual fans looking to get more involved in online fandom become instantly turned off by the rhetoric and leave which put the community of fandom in a stale situation.

FINAL THOUGHT

MCU denial is a very real thing, but thankfully it represents the majority of MCU fans out there. The bitter, the less well adjusted, the angry. Most MCU film fans are the kinds of fans we hate in our fandom. The ones that celebrate the films they love with feeling threatened or lessened when others don’t share their views. Those who will not celebrate a great comic-book film from another brand without feeling the need to automatically be opposed to it. Those who do not embrace fellow fans even when they love the films in different ways or for different reasons. And let’s not pretend that if DC films were suffering the same sort of circumstances that MCU films are that DC fans wouldn’t also be in their own form of denial. Because they would be I assure you of that.

Fan denial is a broad reaching thing not just limited to the boundaries of certain MCU fans. We should all check ourselves as fans to see if we are part of the problem. Do we exhibit tendencies to ascribe ulterior motives to those that don’t share our opinions or do we accept them? Do we form an “us vs them” attitude or do we judge every film on their own merits? Do we aggressively turn on fellow fans who don’t specifically adhere to our own fandom standards? If so, in the immortal words of Michael Scott… “Check yo self”. Then, let’s just get back to being fans. Fans that cheer or boo as the cause arises. Fans that share and discuss. Fans that love to love what they love regardless of what other fans love. That’s what fandom is.

  i

[regrettablewritings]

Loki Odinson x Reader Ship Meme

A/N: *awkwardly posts this in the wake of IW* The second part to @twisteddamselartwork‘s request! Like with the Bruce Wayne one, there’s a bonus question to this so . . . Let’s see how long it takes my ass to post that one.

who is more likely to hurt the other?: Loki, whether he intends to or not. And given who he is and what he has a tendency to do, he has a few more extra ways to potentially hurt you than the average person does. At his core, Loki’s about mischief and getting ahead and even though he tries his best to assure that you keep up with him and not get caught in the crossfires, sometimes . . . things slip. Maybe he accidentally takes a joke to far, maybe he lets a lie go on for so long that it comes back to bite the both of you in the ass. He doesn’t mean to come off as inconsiderate to your feelings or how deep his actions my impact you; he’s just so used to being on his own that it sometimes slips his mind that he’s not alone anymore.

who is emotionally stronger?: . . . The man attempted to take over a kingdom and then Midgard due to daddy issues. I think you won this particular vote as the most stable.

who is physically stronger?: Loki, but really not by much at all. Thor was always the fighter; Loki’s more of a scholar by comparison. He can fight very slightly, but not for long at all.

who is more likely to break a bone?: Neither party is particularly prone to bone-breakage. Particularly because Loki tries to have clones fight for him, and you stay in your lane enough to avoid circumstances that might lead to breaking a bone.

who knows best what to say to upset the other?: Loki is basically the God of Trolls, it’s in his nature to know what ticks you off the most.

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument?: Post-Battle of New York, Loki has slowly but surely been redeveloping his sense of sympathy. The word to focus on here is “slowly”: He’s much faster at embracing his wheelhouse as being one of trickery and reliant on humor at the expense of others. It’s just safer to acknowledge that Loki’s sense of sympathy will never be quite as warm or open as others’ generally tend to be. Expecting him to be readily tripping over himself and smothering you with adoration is only going to set you up for disappointment. (He does have his moments, but don’t expect him to be particularly lovey-dovey in the traditional sense is the point. He’s capable of it under certain circumstances, but even then it’s done with a bit of Loki flair to it.) That being said, while he’s getting better at recognizing and accepting his mistakes, apologies are still something that he has to work on. He’s a bit clumsy about them, even when he tries not to be -- and when you’re involved, he really does want to try. It just doesn’t come out as smoothly as nearly everything else he says. That being said, he tries to be the first to apologize. The problem is, it doesn’t sound as genuine as you may like in your frustrated state so your mood may potentially worsen. (Though usually, it’s awkwardly cute how much the great, silvertongue Loki Odinson struggles to properly express his apologies and ask for your forgiveness so you tend to cool down a bit better.)

who treats who’s wounds more often?: He doesn’t really do too much that gets him jacked up. Plus, no offense to your own wound-tending capabilities, whatever they may be, but nothing quite beats Asgardian medical care. (Or Sakaarian, for that matter, so long as you’re in good favor with The Grandmaster.)

who is in constant need of comfort?: You’re a Midgardian he met during his trip to Midgard to drop off Odin. He grew fond of you, kept coming back whenever he could just to see you. More grew from it. Too much grew from that. Now you’re on the other side of the veil, on a completely different branch of the World Tree, and completely out of your element. Technology the likes of which you’ve never seen exists here, beings who are bizarre even after acknowledging the existence of the Hulk as well. Not to mention you’re away from everyone and everything you’ve ever known or understood. Your whole world view has been turned on its head and the only person you can really rely on (until Thor’s eventual return to Asgard) is Loki, albeit he can only appear as Loki when in private with you. And even then, there’s whispers swirling around you. Asgardians murmuring claims of how a Midgardian has been brought to their realm. Loki (in his Odin form) expresses intensely that this isn’t the case and for everyone to butt out. But it’s all so easy to become overwhelmed by such rapid changes, by the unintentional but arguably inevitable comparisons between yourself and the beautiful Asgardian women, brought on by none other than you, and so much more. You feel the fatigue inhabiting your psyche and at one point barely ever leave the room you’ve been accommodated with. And Loki feels terrible for it. That you’re suffering, that the change isn’t going as smoothly as the both of you had hoped, and that he’s far too selfish to let you go back to Midgard without the fear of you disappearing from him haunting him. He’s not entirely the best at comforting you but he’s getting better. Turning himself invisible, sneaking into your quarters, and cuddling with you while whispering that it’s going to be okay, that he’ll do what it takes to make you happy here, is the least he can do after convincing you that joining him in Asgard would be worth it. You know that Loki’s notorious silver-tongue has created lies before but . . . you’ve been around him just long enough to recognize when he’s being treacherous. Something about the way he talks to you when he’s trying to sooth you feels . . . real.

who gets more jealous?: Loki is. For the most part, he’s pretty good with you being around others. He trusts you. However, it’s others he doesn’t entirely trust. In addition to this, while the two of you were still in Asgard, he had to mostly stay in Odin form -- he couldn’t be his flirtatious self towards you without raising suspicions, so he had to keep himself composed. Which is difficult to do when you’re watching some buff Asgardian men grin at your beloved, or beautiful Asgardian women flutter their eyelashes at him. His remedy is usually to draw attention away from you or making an excuse to get you away from them, and then an excuse for himself. At some point, expect him to be a pouty child demanding your attention in some way.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other?: If it weren’t for the fact that there are a limited number of ways to get in and out of Asgard, Loki would fear it to be you. Heck, even with the consideration of portals, Loki is certain that it is you. It isn’t that he doubts your love, it’s that he acknowledges that being with him is difficult no matter what form he’s in or where he’s at. If the two of you are in Asgard, he’s mostly in Odin form and can’t easily spend time with you without raising suspicions. He can’t take you for a walk through the city, can barely hold hands with you in the palace. He has to wait until nightfall when he can much more easily slip into your room -- where the two of you often remain confined to for quality time. He can’t stay on Midgard, either because of the whole New York incident or because he’s needed on Asgard (arguably). He’s a trickster-based deity who’s still working through his alliances and issues. And while he’s genuinely trying to some degree (especially when you’re involved), deep down Loki feels as though he doesn’t have much to give you as compared to as much as he can take from you by being who he is. He sometimes fears he’s reenacting that Midgardian legend about the king of the afterlife stealing away the beautiful spring goddess to live with him in his dark domain. He really doesn’t want to, but if it comes to a breaking point, he will force himself to bring you back to Midgard and never return.

who will propose?: Neither can really propose per se. Loki wants to -- he truly does -- but in his Odin form, he cannot. The most he can do is perform something reminiscent of asking for your hand in marriage by asking you to be patient and stay by his side. “I know that things aren’t exactly . . . ideal,” he uses his words carefully one evening. It started off normal, with him sneaking into your room and cuddling you to his chest as you both rest after a long day of masquerading as Odin and his “mysterious new guest.” But for whatever reason, his mood appeared to be...different. “I know I don’t always get things right,” Loki continues. “I know that this honestly isn’t how you would’ve wanted things. And you and I both know that this likely isn’t the best situation to put you in. But we both also know that I’m selfish. I just wanted you to know that...that, if you’ll have me, I’ll do whatever is in my ability -- whatever is within the nine realms -- to make it up to you and do right by you. I’ll do whatever I can to make things right for you. Even if I spend our entire lifespans doing so.” He’s quiet for a moment. “If you’ll have me,” he repeats. His tone was meek because he knows that you know he’s right. Not much about this situation is ideal. But since when has anything been truly ideal? And what was one to expect of a god associated with imbalance? It wasn’t ideal. But the way the two of you held one another, foreheads pressed together in silence, with you replaying his words over and over and he with your response . . . That was.

who has the most difficult parents?: Good night!

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?: When he would visit you on Midgard, he surprisingly would be eager to hold your hand. At that point in time, he could only visit you so he would have to make do with as much physical contact as possible. Unfortunately, even when you came to Asgard, not much changed: He has to wait until he can be alone with you to touch you, much less hold your hand. But when he does, there’s a sense of relieved giddiness vibing through him to you.

who hogs the blankets?: When the two of you share a bed, you do. Loki’s Jotun heritage makes him come off as rather chilly to others, especially since body temperatures drop when you go to sleep anyway. You don’t mind cuddling with him, you just need to assurance of extra blankets around you.

who gets more sad?: You do, though you wouldn’t immediately admit to it. When you stayed on Midgard, there was no telling when Loki would come visit you. Plus, you couldn’t exactly show off your boyfriend of sorts even when he was in your dimension. Now that you’re on Asgard, you’re in closer proximity but there’s so much going on that you still can’t quite be together as a regular couple. You’re almost certain that Loki is aware of how you feel, though. He doesn’t say anything, but it’s almost as if he’s too scared to bring it up vocally. So he sometimes goes out of his way to help alleviate the stress and occasional loneliness your new circumstances have wrought.

who is better at cheering the other up?: For being the type of person that he is, Loki’s quite good at getting a smile on your face. If he can get away with it, he has no hesitancies about using his mischief-based magic while in his Odin form to cause some form of minor mayhem or trickery that is sure to make you flash a grin or giggle. He’s actually quite fond of your laughter, something of which he has no problem telling you. (However, what he does have trouble admitting to you is that another part of him feels that he owes you happiness since he’s screwed up a lot of it by wrapping you up in his life in the sloppy manner that he has.)

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?: Neither, surprisingly! You may gently smack Loki if he’s said something rude but otherwise, the man is too goofy for his own good sometimes. If you had to smack him for every silly joke he’s told you or for every thing he’s done that’s made you laugh in general, he’d have one very sore body and you, some rather sore hands.

who is more streetwise?: It depends on the dimension. While Loki is very good with comprehending Midgardian customs and presentation, the last time he came has left him somewhat on edge. As a result, you’re a bit of his safeguard in a way. But on Asgard, he’s completely in his element and you have to rely on his experience there to get by.

who is more wise?: You are; you at least know how to not be a jackass. Usually.

who’s the shyest?: You are. Loki may be the quieter of the Odinsons, but that doesn’t make him anywhere near shy. He was raised in ways fitting of a ruler, after all! Besides, he took to that position like a duck to water -- if the duck was a mischievious one. Plus, it bears without saying that you are hesitant to cause a fuss in your new environment, whereas Loki doesn’t seem to care much at all. He finds your comparative shyness adorable, however, which has resulted in a series of nicknames based on this trait that range from “Little Mouse” to “My Shrinking Violet.”

who boasts about the other more?: Neither can, really. When he would visit you on Midgard, it wasn’t exactly the best idea to say you were seeing somebody like Loki. And on Asgard, he can’t reveal your relationship to him, lest suspicions of what’s actually going on were to arise.

who sits on who’s lap?: When the two of you are in your room, late at night, he’ll gladly collect you into his lap and hold you there. Regular couples in such a position would likely discuss how their respective days were but as you essentially stick close to Loki whenever possible, this is unnecessary. Instead, the two of you just . . . talk. He recounts stories from his many, many, many years of life. You bring up anecdotes from your far fewer years that he nevertheless can’t help but find intriguing in spite of his previous beliefs regarding your species. Even if you fall asleep on him in this position, he’s not quick to move you off of his lap and onto the bed. As stated before, Loki doesn’t get to be as physically connective as he wishes he could be with you. Times like this are some of the only times he ever gets to be with you. And considering your Midgardian heritage . . . He just wants to spend as much time with you as he can. He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve you. But Loki Odinson is nothing if not a man who clings to what he desires, even if others may not see the point in it.