#and damn if that doesn't make me cry!

[eury--dice]

crowley and aziraphale bond through humanity. they are -- should be -- fundamentally, diametrically opposed on all things relating to the divine plan. (they aren’t, really, though aziraphale would say they are.) the drinking, the bookshop, arguing about what’s moral or holy, are all things that demons and angels do as affectations of human life. but crowley and aziraphale live the experiences of humanity. and so there is nothing ambiguous about what they share, as long as what they share is human. a brunch at the ritz can’t be dressed up as something else -- sharing food between two divine beings is collaboration, plain and simple, whether it is beelzebub and gabriel or crowley and aziraphale. demons, angels, all these beings don’t have to feel things in the way that humans do. they don’t have to express love as humans do. it doesn’t have to come down to getting wet and staring into each other’s eyes and vavoom, kiss, all done. love can be something different, divine, unutterable. but in a last-ditch moment, a pure act of desperation, crowley kisses aziraphale. the devotion is not new, the partnership is not new, but it is a declaration all the same, a statement that aziraphale cannot misinterpret: there is nothing ineffable between us. we don’t need to do this the way humans do, crass and tactile and unmistakable. but i will. if you won’t listen to me on divine grounds i will declare it to you on human ones. a kiss is undeniable. it shifts the tone from theoretical, theological, to something intimate. they could have been partners. they could have been a team. this, this romance -- this is what they could have, as plain as it appears.

[hood-ex]

The desire to have a No Capes AU where the Titans crew go to a boarding school and sneak out at night to read poetry in a cave...

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[levinbolts]

WHAT KIND OF LOVE ARE YOU?

Love as a Force of Nature.

Your love is like whiplash –– it comes in with the rain, it blows the doors wide open. When you fall in love, it is sudden and hard and immense. It is powerful. It is earth-shaking and world-ending. Nature is a force, and that force can be destructive if you're not careful. See how the world is doused in gasoline and set on fire –– your love consumes, your love takes, your love burns. You're hot and cold all at once, a hurricane and a wildfire bound together in skin, and when you're in love, it can feel like it's eating you alive from the inside out. When you love, it is with everything you have because it is everything you have. Be careful, darling, because not everyone survives the storm.

tagged by: @vanoefucks (thank you !!! 💗)

tagging: @shadowcursedballs, @fizzytoo, @barbieaiden, @lucidicer, @mattodore, @rottengurlz, @kashisun, @illithiad & @boobpancakes

[just-slightly-chayotic]

Thinking about Kim meeting Chay. Kim, who hasn't known affection, who hasn't been touched (aside from stylists and hairdressers and makeup artists) without violence or ulterior motives since the day his mother died, meeting a boy who touches him without any other reason than the fact that he wants to.

[softquietsteadylove]

Ohhh Gil, after being rescued by Thena 2 days ago, has nightmares wich she learns when she decided to stay for one night because it was storming outside. She has trouble waking him up but then she comforts him and learns about the story behind his claustrophobia.

For the wildfire one please

"No! No, help! Please, someone--anyone!"

Thena jolted awake. She was used to doing so when she was out in the wild, but she was at Gil's. It was storming outside in a decidedly angry way. She had radioed it into the towers and made her way to the cabin so as not to roast her ass with lightning (again).

"No! No!!"

Gil was in his bed, absolutely thrashing. The sheets look like they had taken on the fight with him and lost. He was covered in sweat. And he really sounded truly scared for his life.

He sounded like he had when he got locked in the cellar.

"Please!"

Thena threw herself off the recliner in front of the fire and rushed over to him. His pleas for help really did sound visceral and terrified. She all but slid on her knees to the bedside. "Gil!"

"I can't-!" he was full on screaming, and that was when he wasn't gasping for breath or panting from trying to scream with no air in his lungs. He was clawing at the t-shirt sticking to his skin.

"Gil, wake up!" she barked, shaking him by the chest. Those muscles were heavy, but she knew that from when he had latched onto her, hugging for dear life. She shook harder, digging her nails into his chest. "Gil!"

"Please, please, someone help!" he gasped. He was hyperventilating in his sleep now.

This wasn't good. He would cut off his own air at this rate. Thena shook him more roughly, pressing down on his heart. "Gil, come on! Wake up, just breathe! It's me!"

He flinched as she pressed harder. It wasn't gentle, but she was going to wake him from his nightmare no matter the cost. She winced, "sorry, big fella."

Gil shot up in bed as her palm connected with his cheek. He took deep, gasping breaths, his hand over where she had tried to claw her way through to his heart. "Wh-Wh-Wha-"

"Hey, it's me, just breathe," she whispered, putting her hands on his cheeks and forcing him to look her in the eye. The sky was quite light from the furious storm happening outside, not to mention the occasional lightning bringing a glow to the room every few minutes.

Her thumb traced over his cheek. She did feel bad for having to slap him like that.

"Th-Thena?" Gil gasped, gulping in between breaths. His throat was dry and rough from all his screaming. "What's-?"

She sighed heavily. He really scared her with that episode. She patted his cheek again before reaching for his canteen. "It's okay, just take a second, right?"

He nodded, accepting it from her and gulping the water down greedily. He tipped it up to get the last of it.

"Hey," she frowned, pulling it away from him to prevent him from waterboarding himself. "Not so fast or you'll hurl it up again."

He let her take it from him at least, slumping against the headboard. "Sorry, I must have scared the shit of you."

He sure did. But she settled back as well, sitting on one foot with the other dangling off his bed. "What was that?"

He scratched at his neck uncomfortably. "Never had a nightmare before?"

But she didn't take his little joke lying down, nor did she think he would expect her to. "Gil."

Just his name from her lips made him get the sad puppy eyes on again. The big guy had absolutely no ability to hide his feelings at all. He sagged. "I'm sorry I woke you up like this."

"Gil," she prompted him again, even moving closer. The bed really was a mess. "I've never seen you like that before."

He nodded, accepting that this conversation was happening, no matter what. "I don't get them as often as I used to. It happened probably ten years ago, now."

She furrowed her brows; he knew what scars she had from work--everyone did. But she had no idea he had anything that had sparked his intense claustrophobia.

"I was on search and rescue, and cave duty, as luck would have it," he started slowly, still trying to smile through it and deliver the story lightly. His hands were picking at his blanket pulled over his lap again. "We got everyone out, but when I was checking to make sure we got to the back of it, there was a tremor. The front of it caved in. I wasn't crushed, but it was worse--it took them a week to dig me out."

A week trapped in a cave could drive the best of them insane, no matter what training they had. Thena shivered at the thought.

"They tried to communicate with me. I was able to make small fires if I really needed the warmth. But the dark, the dripping of the water in there, not knowing when - or if - I would get out of there..."

Thena bit her lip, trying to think of what to say. Gil cleared his throat, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes again. Just the story was enough to have him in tears again. And she could see why.

"I was always kind of nervous about enclosed spaces, but since then," he shook his head, "I just can't. That, uh, that's actually why I moved here to the cabin."

That was why he didn't live at the station? She had always assumed it was simply a byproduct of his strength and ability to do both search and rescue and active duty fire fighting.

"I couldn't live at the station anymore," he admitted quietly. "There are so few windows, the rooms are so small and dark-"

"I know," she interjected, rushing to keep him from going on about something that so clearly pained him. She even reached over and put her hand over his in her haste. "It's okay, Gil."

He laughed faintly, sniffling up the last of his tears. "Real cool, huh?--a firefighter who can't be indoors for too long?"

She shook her head. It wasn't nearly the embarrassment he thought it was. The fact that he had come back to it after an event like that was exemplary. Something like that would have most of their own applying for retirement, if not an extended leave of absence. "I was a firefighter who couldn't go into fire."

Gil's jaw bobbed in his hurry to denounce the shit she was talking about herself.

But she smiled, tucking her stray leg up on the bed as well. "The rumours were half true--I did have a hard loss after a search and rescue gone wrong. I lost a family--even the kids."

"Thena-"

She pressed on; if she didn't get it out now, she never would. "I was separated from everyone, trying to read the wind in the middle of a dry lightning storm. I read it wrong and...this whole family just got...swallowed up--right in front of me. I tried to go in and get them but it happened too fast. They were already gone."

She shivered again. It was no wonder she had failed her psych eval after that--she would still fail it today, she was quite sure.

"We've all had losses," he assured her, also touching her hand in solidarity. "They're all hard. No one could blame you for needing time after that."

She shook her head, swiping her tears away before they could fall. If anything, Gil was stronger than her not just for going back to work in a way she couldn't, but for allowing himself the weakness to cry over it. "I tried, but...I chose perimeter duty. I let the rumors run wild because it was easier than explaining the truth--that I didn't know if I could ever go into a live one every again."

Gil reached and, to her horror, she wondered if he would wipe away some tears that had escaped her. But he caught the last of the trail of one, and then pushed her bangs away from falling over her forehead. She made a face. He chuckled, "you're tougher than you think you are."

"I am tough," she countered.

"You are," he agreed, smiling more like himself. "And you're even tougher than that, because you could have walked away completely."

She eyed him. She had never told anyone the complete story of her exile--not even her boys knew the whole story. No one needed to know, as far as she was concerned. "You didn't."

He shrugged, "I did, in a way. But you also stayed--because you had to, right? Because thinking of leaving the fight all together just isn't right to you, is it? Because you wanted to do what you could, even if it was doing daily routes and telling campers to put out fires. Because that still helps."

That sounded like some touchy-feely-bullshit if she ever heard it. But it didn't feel as condescending as it did from her old Chief, or as pitying as it did from her second hand when she had left the unit to him. Because Gil was so genuine with everything he did and said.

"So, we both have our shit," he shrugged. How did this become him cheering her up? "So what?"

She laughed faintly. He had heard her scream herself out of a horrific nightmare or two in their time together. He had never asked, and she had always been thankful for it. Now, she had returned the favour, so that was that.

"We're both tougher than that, right?"

She tilted her head. She had to admit, she didn't mind Gil knowing the truth of her story. He wasn't the type to whisper, and he had been nothing but sweet to her since they met, even when she was just a white wolf passing through his backyard silently. "Right."

Lightning lit the sides of their faces again, drawing their eyes to the window. Before the thunder followed, she frowned. He rubbed his cheek, "you don't pull punches, huh?"

The thunder rattled the window, but she didn't jump from the sound of it. She smiled, "shaking you wasn't doing the trick."

"Thank you."

She blinked, her eyebrows raising in surprise. "For slapping you?"

"For waking me up, no matter what," he clarified with another pat on her shoulder. "I appreciate it. And, y'know, if you want me to return the favour, I will."

She wasn't sure about that. But she nodded, accepting the kindness for what it was. She patted the hand of his on her shoulder. "Can we go back to sleep now?"

"Sure," he sighed heavily, going back to watching the storm. "If you think you can."

He had a point. They were exhausted, but they were also wide awake after all the excitement, and the heart-to-heart. She sighed. "We should try, at least."

"Yeah, guess you're right."

She looked at the big guy again, catching the sad, lonely puppy eye routine. He looked so pitiful sitting in his own bed. She rolled her eyes, so he would know she was being reluctant about it. "We can sit up for a bit--just a little!"

"If you're okay with it." He couldn't have sounded more excited about it.

She glared at him as she crawled over to the inside of the bed, slipping into the spot where she had spent plenty of time (without him also in the bed). "We are not making a habit of this."

"'Course not," he volunteered, just happy to have a little company. He even shimmied closer to the edge of the bed, to allow her more space to be comfortable.

Thena settled down and closed her eyes. Unfortunately, the bed really was quite comfortable, and it was terribly hard to resist letting its plush warmth lull her into sleep again. "Big softie."

"Yeah, that's me," he lamented with a big grin on his face. He also settled in again, propped up with his pillow and keeping his ankles crossed. He looked up at the ceiling. "Thanks, Thena."

"Hm," she tried to make it sound disgruntled (so he wouldn't think they were going to get all cuddly like this again). Her feet just barely brushed his sweatpants as she bent her knees.

"I'm glad you were here."

She was too. She knew those nightmares, that feeling of drowning in your own mind. She wouldn't wish it on anyone, and she had certainly experienced enough of them in the cold, quiet of camping alone.

Gil settled in and closed his eyes, lying on his back and with his upper half propped up in not that comfortable a way. He even had his arms crossed for personal space reasons. But he looked deeply happy.

Thena closed her eyes, resolving not to peek at him anymore. She frowned, listening to the sheets swishing, "my feet are cold."

That was the only reason she was pressing them up against his at the base of the bed, letting him know that she was right there.

"Sure."

[mercymaker]

— you wear your indifference and cruelty like armor. so no one would dare come close

[seaofreverie]

First day back at the university and I still suck at this exactly as much as I did 4 years ago

[sysig]

I wasn’t using that heart anyway it’s fine (Patreon)

[hauntingblue]

WE STILL GOT ARCANEEEEE

[silent-sentinels]

THIS COLLEGE IS STRAIGHT EVIL I THINK??

[kateis-cakeis]

people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh

(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)

[burymeinwillow]

Everytime I draw Joe Cartwright I get overwhelmed with the desire to only ever draw Joe

[steelthroat]

When you have the perfect joke and pun, but you can't share it because it would lead to your doxxing...

This, this is the real suffering.

[lucyvaleheart]

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[running-in-the-dark]

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