#and cries about Distortion 'verse

[yanderestarangel]

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐓!𝐁𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐗 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

TW: Sinful context, smut, masturbation, poetic language, angst, poem, priest!lbi han, corruption of values, unreliable narrator, cock warming, dom!reader, extreme worship, bi han's mind is distorted, nsfw, catholic context, inspired by edgar allan poe, angst.

Always following the heavenly orders, written by ancestral men, an ancient prayer said in choir. The collective echoed off the walls of the church Bi Han was accustomed to as a monotonous future and present written by the god he dedicated to his mortality.

But you were anything but ordinary.

For Bi Han, you were perfection, not even in sacred verses did he see such perfection, but not on a carnal level but, yes, in the soul, as if your soul called and cried out the submission of him, the priest without any error in years of priesthood , you made him question his faith in some divine being, an unreachable and implacable being or perhaps, you made him redirect his worship towards you.

The priest struggled with deeply buried desires.

His eyes, once pure, now lingered and yearned, while forbidden flames within him burned.

He was on his knees daily, his sore flesh was proof of Bi Han's failed attempt to divert the sensations of desire for you.

The weight of sin pressed against his chest, what was right or wrong?

Bi Han didn't know what words to say, a sigh and whisper was heard through the piercing stillness of the space once sacred to him, but now, there was no logic shelf.

The only god he wanted to worship was you.

Your eyes, your lips, your face, your body, every imperfection and perfection drawn on you, your mistakes, your sins...

He needed the worst thing he had in you.

With trembling hands, he clutched the rosary, seeking redemption for the sins that kept him captive, nebulous and vivid fantasies entered his mind, the bitter taste of a pleasure denied by ties he himself chose.

Fool, lost in vain.

He wanted you, he wanted to adore you more than he adored everything about the breath of life he had.

Like a glass house, about to break, this was the real Bi Han.

The vows he took, a solemn oath, now he threatened to collapse, because his spirit was torn apart, by the lust you awakened him, and he...

He just wanted to accept all of this.

Through the stained glass windows the moonlight streamed, Enlightening a soul in turmoil, it seemed.

The priest, torn between the call of pure requiem and earthly lust. He looked in the moonlight at the silver bath that entered the dark fortress that should be full, far from iniquity and lasciviousness.

But that was a counterpoint, an illusion.

Bi Han's hand guided itself to his own throbbing member, while he used his other hand to muffle the sounds from his mouth, all of them, coming out your name, like a prayer, a prayer he was used to directing to another lord, but now, his lord... It was you.

Throwing his head behind the messy linen sheets, his black cassock now open between his legs, he shed tears down his face, tracing painterly lines that could be read by someone as some kind of regret.

But not.

He had found his lord, something perfect.

𝐘𝐨𝐮.

The thick, pearly ropes shot out of his thick shaft, making him completely dirty as he fell to his knees, smiling, thinking about you.

If he believes in hope, Oh Lord, he well believes!

His source is most divine, most sacred, you.

He looked at your hands, he wanted to kneel and kiss your feet at that moment, grab your legs and never let you go, spread the veil of power that you had on your head, because the pleasure.

It's the most splendid thing you brought and the thought of serving you was much greater satisfaction than continuing that farce.

Bi Han was madman devoted, but it was for you.

Hands tangled in two sweaty bodies, sculpted by perhaps divine perfection.

He lowered himself to you, his priest's cassock, completely rumpled by your brutal and rough movements on Bi Han's poor hole, skin-to-skin sounds echoed with each passage of time.

𝐁𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐦𝐨𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐝, 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.

Bi Han's round, pale ass, now marked by your hands, was a worthy tomb.

"-Please, please my lord-"

As he always did on the nights he lamented about being a weak man, and taking pleasure in thinking about your body dominating him.

But there he was... A delicious sin, a sin of Eden.

There was no regret for him, you were everything he needed and if there was a divine being, a delicious chill, with each thrust stronger and stronger, given by you.

He dirty the church floor, the image reflected in the marble was of a submissive Bi Han and a mess, a angelic mess.

"-Don't stop, please, Oh Lord-" He screamed at you, his hands and legs sought some relief from the lack of support in your body, he reached release, staining both bodies moments after begging and worshiping you.

And it was, at your feet, the world, all luxury.

𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. "𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐤, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐄𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧."

[frytk-a]

I saw all of us strangers for the second time today and cried like a baby (again)

I have a lot of thoughts so here are my theories cos I needed to get this out of my system

(major spoilers below)

okay so after the first time I watched it, I wasn't sure, but now I really think that adam dies in a fire during the movie. in a twisted way, thinking of it this way hurts me less cos at least he doesn't have to live with all that happened :")

there is so much red in the film. red/sunset coloured lighting is a recurring theme, especially when adam is shown. there are also so many red props, clothes, decorations, literally so much of it. a lamp in Adam's apartment, multiple things in the box from his childhood, red lining of Adam's jacket, his father's shirt, his mother's belt, earrings, nails in a later scene, so many things in his childhood home and room

and when the film starts, there's this red reflection of adam in his window, and then we see a red point on the horizon, kinda like the sun but not really, that grows and then the whole screen turns red/orange and the title appears

the film starts with a fire alarm going off. when adam and harry first meet, adam is listening to the power of love and the last verse before he pauses it to open the door is "feels like fire"

then there is harry's comment regarding the alarm, that one day it's going to be for real

when Adam is at his parents' for the first time, his dad says something like must be hard, leaving with all this smoke (about living in a big city like london) and then when they're reminiscing, they talk about a bonfire night and adam being scared of fireworks

in the club scene, there's a lot of red lights as well and at one point, adam starts yelling like he's in great pain. I feel like this is the moment when in real life the fire gets bad

after that, he's suddenly in his parents' house again

when they are decorating the christmas tree, there's a shot of adam sitting on the floor with a fireplace right behind him

when he's in bed with his parents and then turns and harry's there instead, blue lights appear like from an ambulance. there are background noises that you could hear inside an ambulance as well.

the first time I watched the film, I thought it's about his parents accident, but now I think it's actually him being in an ambulance, as he wasn't anywhere near his parents' car crash

then he's on the tube and starts coughing real bad as you would from fire smoke (coughing and breathlessness also come up a couple more times throughout the movie) he sees his distorted reflection that changes into him as a child and wakes up with harry

one more recurring thing is adam being hot. that's what harry tells him before he has a bath, what his mom tells him when they're decorating the christmas tree, and again during their last meeting

after the tube scene and adam waking up (why is it still sunday?), I feel like there's less red lighting in the scenes that follow (however, the lighting in the last scene is very red and the last scene with his parents is quite golden)

maybe I'm reaching, but it really feels like all these can be subtle cues that he dies in a fire and we see him in between life and death. most of those can be attributed to different things that are happening, like being hot after getting caught in the rain, screaming when he's on drugs etc., but I feel like when put together they paint a different picture

there are also a lot of scenes where we see Adam's reflection (basically every time he's on the train, on the tube, in the first scene)

and when he's in the elevator with harry in the early stage of the film, it's shot in this way that we see their reflections, and cos there's a mirror on the other side of the elevator as well, there's an infinity of them, each reflection getting smaller and more blurry

I feel like all these symbolise being in between the worlds and the passage from life to death

(side note, when adam takes harry to his parents, I feel like this is when harry realises he is dead and that's why he gets so freaked out when he notices them. cos they're dead. so if he can see them, it means he is too 😭)

thanks for coming to my ted talk

edit: I'm listening to an all of us strangers playlist and one time Adam's at his parents', a song called "I don't want to set the world on fire" plays (i think it's when he's there for the first time?)

also the song that plays in the club scene is literally called "death of a party" :")

I'm also now thinking that in the club, the lights keep changing from red to blue and these colours could also be associated with ambulance lights, give me a break I can't do this anymore

[1uckygold]

Jack-IN-The-Box, Song

Summary: High School was a pain, but now it’s time for the next chapter… College. Except this time, what happens when packing up for the dorms, you come across an old childhood toy? Memories say inside the box held a friend—But what are you worried about, right? It’s in the past, a child’s imagination.

WRONG! Innocent eyes see farther toward the unknown… But sometimes, the unknown can see you too.

~Pairing: Jung Hoseok (BTS) | Yandere/J-Hope x f! Reader

~Genre: Yandere au, Imaginary/Monster au, Angst & Mystery

~Word Count: 258

**Warnings: Hallucinations and slight blood.**

A/N: I'm working on Part 2, but while you wait... Here is lyrics to a song I created base off this story! Jack-IN-The-Box

~~~~

(Verse 1:)

In the darkness of the night, fear takes its hold, A twisted tale of horror, a story yet untold. A Jack-In-the-Box, an omen in disguise, It's playing with your mind, truth blending with lies.

(Pre-Chorus:)

Heart pounding in your chest, stomach full of dread, As you stumble upon secrets, nightmares in your bed. The melody haunts you, whispers in the air, Every turn of the handle, a glimpse of despair.

(Chorus:)

Run, run, run, through the halls you flee, Chased by shadows, a twisted reality. But no one hears your cries, your desperate plea, Lost in a nightmare, can't break free.

(Verse 2:)

A roommate appears, a stranger in the night, Relief washes over, fears taking flight. But the darkness still lingers, doubts remain, As the Jack-In-the-Box hides, its secrets retain.

(Bridge:)

Eyes wide open, terror grips your soul, The hallway distorts, reality takes its toll. A force grips your shoulder, pain tears you apart, Invisible nails digging deep, leaving their mark.

(Chorus:)

Run, run, run, to the safety you seek, Haunted by demons, your voice too weak. But no one can save you, in this twisted game, Trapped in a nightmare, consumed by its flame.

(Verse 3:)

Back in your room, behind locked doors, You hide away, broken to your core. Sleep offers solace, a brief respite, But darkness creeps closer, ready to ignite.

(Outro:)

The closet opens wide, a sinister grin, Hoseok emerges, the nightmare begins. Blood drips from your wrist, a mark of his claim, "Welcome home, my sunshine," he whispers your name.

~~~~

<3

[daitranscripts]

Skyhold Conversation: Mother Giselle

Investigate: Tell Me About Corypheus

Skyhold Masterpost

PC: Can you tell me anything about Corypheus?

Giselle: I know nothing of the man personally, but the Chant of Light speaks of what he claims to be. “No matter their power, their triumphs, the mage-lords of Tevinter were men, and doomed to die. The a voice whispered within their hearts, ‘Shall you surrender your power, to time like the beasts of the fields?’ You are Lords of the earth! Go forth and claim the empty throne of Heaven and be gods.”

Dialogue options:

Special: An Old God. [1]

General: Let’s discuss another matter. [2]

1 - Special: An Old God. PC: That was one of the Old Gods speaking in their dreams? Giselle: Yes. Dumat, as I understand it. “In secret they worked magic upon magic… All their power and their vanity turned against the Veil, until at last, it gave away.”

Dialogue options:

Special: That sounds familiar.

Special: That sounds familiar. PC: That sounds like what happened with the Breach. Giselle: Very similar, Inquisitor. “Above them, a river of light, before them the throne of Heaven, waiting. Beneath their feet, the footprints of the Maker, and all around them echoed a vast silence. but when they took a single step towards the empty throne, a great voice cried out… Shaking the very foundations of Heaven and the earth.”

Dialogue options:

Special: Corypheus disagrees with that.

Special: Corypheus disagrees with that. PC: Corypheus said he only found chaos and corruption. Giselle: The Chant of Light says that it was beautiful until the Maker Himself spoke. “‘And so is the golden city blackened with each step you take in my Hall. Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting. You have brought Sin to Heaven, and doom upon all the world.’”

Dialogue options:

Special: Again, that sounds different.

Special: Again, that sounds different. PC: Corypheus seemed so certain that he heard nothing. He described it as “dead whispers.” Giselle: Bitterness, perhaps? He paid a high price for his crime. “Violently they were cast down, for no mortal may walk bodily in the realm of dreams… Bearing the mark of their Crime.”

Dialogue options:

Special: Like my mark?

Special: Like my mark? PC: Waking bodily in the realm of dreams is exactly what Corypheus said he did. But the mark… Could it be related to the mark I bear? Giselle: I cannot say. Perhaps Andraste saw clearly and we misinterpreted her words. It was always taught that the mark they bore was the shape of darkspawn. “Bodies so maimed and distorted that none should see them and know them for men.” That is all I know of your adversary, Inquisitor.

Dialogue options:

General: It matches, but not perfectly. [3]

General: Thank you. [4]

General: That’s just myth. [5]

3 - General: It matches, but not perfectly. PC: Some of the Chant of Light describes what we’ve seen and what Corypheus said. But not all of it… Giselle: The Chant of Light is the work of mankind. We of all people must accept that mankind is fallible. Listeners may have misheard Andraste’s songs. Just one word sung incorrectly could change everything. And how many verses were stricken or changed for foolish political reasons, like the Canticle of Shartan? [6]

4 - General: Thank you. PC: Thank you for taking the time to share that with me, Revered Mother. Giselle: All faithful should recite the Chant of Light once a week. It would speak ill of me to fall behind. Take what the Chant says, but do not be bound by it. [6]

5 - General: That’s just myth. PC: That’s nothing but myth and legend. Giselle: Myth and legend that matches at least some of what your adversary himself said. You want a literal truth, and I cannot fault you for it. I would, as well, if I faced such a foe. [6]

6 - Scene continues.

Giselle: A century from now, your own story may be another verse… and who knows how much truth it will hold? Still, I would trust these words over any spoken by Corypheus. I hope they help you. Scene ends.

2 - General: Let’s discuss another matter. PC: Can I ask you about something else? Giselle: If you wish. Scene ends.

[rawrxdinaryheroes]

XDH as 3DG Songs

Gunil: Time of Dying

"I'll wait here for you"

This song is unique in that it switches meter

It goes from 4/4 to 6/4 which I feel like would be fun especially for someone who plays drums!

I also think this song is his style (especially coming from a Muse perspective)

The lyrics are also incredibly introspective and he seems like a very introspective person to me???

Jungsu: Lost In You

"Now everyday, I find myself saying I want to get lost in you"

Jungsu is a professional cutie patootie sweetie pie with frosting on top

This song is INCREDIBLY sweet

I actually cried hearing this song for the first time because of how sweet it is

This has been a comfort song for me which reminds me of Jungsu bc I feel like he has such a warm presence????

Pure fireplace during the wintertime vibe <333

This song played with acoustic guitar and piano, slower tempo, and Jungsu's vocals would be a godsend

Jiseok: Riot

"You're not the only one, so get up. Let's start a riot"

This song is very high energy and encompasses the feeling of starting a riot

Jiseok, our punk president, would ABSOLUTELY SLAY this song

He has a certain chaotic or devious charm to him that I think would totally match the vibe of this song

Especially since this song empowers those who feel weak, angry, or emotionally down

JISEOK WOULD EAT THIS SONG

Seungmin: Painkiller

"'Cause I'm the shoulder you cry on"

Okay so..

This song is preeettttyy heavy lyrics wise (I meann most 3dg songs are but yk my point)

I chose this song because I feel like it would fit Seungmin's musical style

I feel like he would add a few rap verses in the song that would go so hard omg-

This song is also oddly reassuring but in a haunting way and I feel like Seungmin would reallllly portray that super well

Hyeongjun: It's All Over

"When you're on the edge and falling off, it's all over"

THIS SONG has been my latest obsession it's bordering on unhealthy....

This song features a consistent bass and guitar riff that drive the music forward and the tempo isn't quite as fast as the other songs

It also features a very melodic guitar solo that I think Hyeongjun would really pull off super well! (MANS IS SUPER TALENTED)

Overall this song is super subtle and kind of reminds me of a fever dream??

I feel like Hyeongjun would pull off a fever dream type of concept really well????

Jooyeon: I Hate You Everything About You

"I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?"

A Three Days Grace classic~

The verses have very pretty clean vocals and instrumentals only for that to be juxtaposed by a heavier chorus full of gritty vocals and distortion

Jooyeon would actually sing this song so well

I mean we all heard his gritty vocals... Are you seeing ~the vision~

This man puts his whole soul into singing he would actually really eat this up I fear

You guys, this is my first time posting to tumblr... yikes! ANYWHO pls let me know if this was hot garbage, if you agree or disagree with the song choices. What's your favourite Three Days Grace song? How's your day going? I might make more of these little posts bc I have a lot of ideas and nowhere to put them out so pls anticipate more of my antics. Tysm <333

[thorne-xil]

The mirrors of me

You remember the things you’re told growing up,

They stick with you,

“God sees you, he knows and understands you.”

But the problem is, the things we are told-

The same people who told me I was loved, told me I was paying for the sins I’ve committed.

Smiling and keeping up those images,

Make the mirror smile back,

Nod and agree and they will love you

But you will find a great place among them.

And I wanted that, I wanted what they wanted me to be,

I saw those and thought they were the gods.

God. (���Lord above forbid there is more than one.”)

But looking back on that mirroring image…

Like reflective glass, they seen me but only through me,

Not really seeing me.

Not deemed “pure” enough

They shattered me…I shattered me.

Cutting and breaking myself down,

And then they saw through like a kaleidoscope,

The colors of which danced across.

They told me it was over, cut me down the rank,

My people are kinds who are damned to the fires of hell,

According to them,

I was the cracked glass, and in a way they were right,

Shards and shatters was what laid left,

Until I smiled, nodded and agreed, forever to pretend.

There’s a way your kind of forced to,

Told to read that sacred text, and I have.

For 18 years I’ve reread those verses,

14 of those,

Repeating, repeating, repeat.

That mythical man’s words,

Burning my flesh, scorching my skin

For I am nothing he tells me,

I am nothing.

And I somehow believed that.

I begged to hide my assortment of colors,

The hate, frustration, and dismay that came with it all,

A complete hole, scorn into my mind

Making it clear I am not regular,

Why am I not normal?

Why can I not be what’s expected of me?

Another smash of glass to my psyche

And I believed it.

They made me believe them.

They said I wasn’t a lesbian, it’s “abnomal”

Being with a girl is sinful and immoral.

Being non-binary, a “fake” identity.

Made it clear I wasn’t clear,

“Jesus won’t want you

God won’t want you

Satan will bar you from hell even”,

When the day of reckoning comes,

I would be left behind in the hellscape.

They would rather me dead, then be something they called “different”.

I yell to keep myself heard, rather than get lost

Within the distorted mirror funhouse that is the mind of others

Who saw me as a sinfully minded hell maiden.

.

.

.

.

There’s a thing about mirrors, something someone close to me use to say:

“That if you dreamt seeing yourself in the mirror, it was your conscience telling you to look at yourself.”

But, my mirror is in shards and shatters, it’s my mouth screaming and crying those verses.

Repeating, repeating…repeat.

But there’s a time when I stopped…

looked…

and…

Looking down at the glass, I was everything they hated.

I spent those years looking in the mirror,

Breaking myself into a million pieces,

It was my hand,

My arm,

It was me.

And without even knowing,

That with a fist to a mirror,

I broke myself into a million pieces.

A mace brought to the already shattered.

Shards and shatters, fragments and splinters.

But somehow, eventually.

I glued myself back together.

Finally stripping myself away of denomination,

I saw me.

But now I deal with the consequences of coming out.

I, to this very day, have to witness and hear of the shit my community goes through, the slurs we have to hear.

“Faggot, dyke, disgrace to God”,

And if I dare say a word, that would not spare the rod.

But the utterance on my body and continuously being misgendered,

It does not make me feel any better.

And being told I’m doing this to be trendy and for attention,

They see to use my pain against me,

So I scream,

Because there is no way in the goddamn heavens,

I would bring the gates of hell upon myself for a bit of attention.

I put up the attempted illusion for everyone, “I love my life”.

Yet twelve-year-old me cried themself into the night,

Begging mythics for help.

Why in seventh grade, I wrote an essay to argue my teacher about how gender and sexuality is not so black and white,

And looking at that pale body of mine every night since I was seven,

The very glass of the mirror that slide across the floor,

Because I’d rather stab it, then keep my womanly aspects.

And me, and thousands of others still fight to prove our identities are real.

Real.

And as bittersweet as it is,

I am lucky, because I can say I love my life now,

My fight with those who deem me dead,

It may never end.

But I am a proof of the living,

The ones who overcome their own stab wounds,

Have stopped the bleeding,

Pieced together.

A beautiful, mangled mess named “Thorne”.

I am a reflection,

A bright new perspective,

Broken or not,

The mirrors of me.

— Thorne

[thatartiststudios]

Another fic update:

The meeting room was bathed in the soft glow of the lamps, casting a warm ambiance over the diverse group gathered within. They sat around the table, their faces illuminated with determination.

Carter spoke first, “We’ve learned about each other’s powers, but now I think it’s time to see how we can work together. I specialize in combat magic, particularly spells of protection and offense. Rayla, you say that you’re skilled in combat. Perhaps we could combine my combat magic with your own experience?”

Rayla nodded, her eyes alight with determination. “Sounds like a plan. I’ve yet to see your Khopesh in action, but I’m sure it’s impressive. I’ll make sure to cover you while you cast your spells.”

Sadie interjected with a mischievous grin. “Callum, we’re versed in complex magic. I suggest we team up. Your elemental control and my understanding of intricate spells could certainly be powerful.”

Callum nodded in agreement. “I like that idea. Together, we could create powerful magical defenses or attacks. Plus, your knowledge of Egyptian magic might complement my understanding of primal sources.”

Piper chimed in, her eyes flickering with excitement. “Jason and I already make a great team, given our demigod powers. But Jason, you and Callum share a connection to the sky. Maybe you two could explore that further, exchanging techniques and strategies?”

Jason nodded, appreciating the idea. “I’ve seen your mage wings, Callum, and I’m sure you have plenty of other Sky spells to use. I’d certainly be up for trying it.”

“Sounds good.” Callum agreed.

Carter leaned forward, his hands resting on the table’s polished surface. “We’ve discussed our strategies. Now, let’s put them into practice. Tomorrow, we start training. Each pair will work on combining their abilities effectively.”

Sadie nodded in agreement, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. “I certainly have some challenging spells I can use. Let’s see how well we can handle them.”

Callum exchanged a glance with Rayla, his confidence matching her resolve. “We’re up for the challenge. Working together, we can overcome any obstacle.”

—

Rayla’s eyelids fluttered open, but the world around her was not the familiar deck of the Argo II. Instead, she found herself in the midst of a haunting nightmare. The air was thick with an eerie coldness, and she stood in a desolate landscape of ice and shadows. Her breath crystallized in the freezing air, forming a ghostly mist that hung around her like a shroud.

Before her, encased in ice, were shadows of figures, their forms distorted by the frosty prison. Rayla’s heart constricted with fear and helplessness. The ice seemed to pulse with a malevolent energy, concealing the identity of her loved ones behind a layer of mystery. Their faces remained hidden, creating an unsettling air of uncertainty. Silent cries echoed in the icy silence, their pleading eyes urging Rayla to unveil their identities.

Rayla approached cautiously, the figures within barely discernible. As she drew closer, the frost yielded a glimpse of the first figures—her parents, their features etched with pain and despair. Rayla’s breath caught in her throat, but she pressed on, determined to see them all.

Each block of ice revealed another, and with each unveiling, Rayla’s dread deepened. Runaan, once proud and valiant, now trapped and suffering. She moved to the next, uncovering the shadows of her fallen comrades. The air grew colder with each step, the atmosphere heavy with despair.

The ice was everywhere, seeming to trap Rayla in a haunting maze as she found yet another block of the sickening crystalline material, and within it, the outline of a young boy. As the frost began to dissipate, the features of King Ezran, Callum’s younger brother, became visible. Rayla’s heart plummeted with dread, the realization striking her like a dagger. Ezran was like a younger brother to her, yet she could do nothing to save him, only watch as Ezran was ensnared in the icy grip. Panic surged through her veins.

In the distance, a sinister figure emerged from the shadows—Lord Viren, his skin as gray as death, his eyes like dark pits filled with malevolence. His presence exuded a chilling aura, seeping into Rayla’s bones and freezing her from the inside out. The twisted smirk on his lips sent shivers down her spine.

“You…” She snarled at him.

“Do you like my collection, Rayla?” Viren’s voice slithered through the icy silence, as if she’d said nothing, his words echoing in the emptiness. “Look here, I’ve added another.”

He gestured towards the last block of ice, where a familiar figure remained obscured. The figure stirred, as if aware of her presence. Rayla hesitated, a sinking feeling in her gut. As the frost cleared, the features of the trapped figure became visible��Callum, his expression contorted in anguish. The sight of him trapped and suffering ignited a fierce fire within her. Rayla’s fists clenched, fury replacing her fear. She refused to let Viren break her, to let him take away everything she held dear.

“Get away from him!” she shouted, her voice strong and defiant, cutting through the eerie silence like a blade.

Viren’s lips curled into a malicious smile, his eyes glinting with sadistic amusement. “You’re too late, Rayla. But don’t worry, you’ll be joining him very soon.”

His staff began to glow with dark energy, and Rayla’s instincts screamed at her to move. Just as Viren was about to unleash his magic, she gasped and jerked awake, her body drenched in cold sweat. The nightmare’s icy grip still clung to her, making it hard to breathe. The moonlight filtered through the window, casting eerie shadows across the room.

Rayla’s breaths came in ragged gasps as she struggled to shake off the lingering fear. She glanced around the room, seeking reassurance in the familiar surroundings. Despite the nightmare, the presence of her fellow heroes on the ship offered a sliver of comfort.

Still trembling, she decided to get some fresh air up on deck and clear her mind. To her surprise, she found Leo there, hunched over the interface that controlled the Argo II, his fingers dancing across the controls.

“You’re still up?” she asked, her voice soft, not wanting to startle him.

Leo glanced back, his eyes tired but determined. “Yeah, can’t sleep. Figured I’d tinker with the ship’s controls a bit, make sure everything’s running smoothly. Besides, the quietness of the night helps clear my mind.”

Rayla nodded, understanding the sentiment. “Stars have a way of making everything feel insignificant, don’t they? Like our problems are just a tiny part of something much larger.”

Leo smiled in agreement. “Exactly. It’s easy to lose yourself up here, far away from the chaos of the world.”

They stood in silence for a while, each lost in their thoughts. Rayla’s fingers traced the outline of her Butterfly blades, a familiar comfort in her hands. She hesitated before speaking again, her voice barely above a whisper. “I had a bad dream.”

Leo turned fully toward her, his expression filled with empathy.

“I get it. I have my fair share of bad dreams too. But hey, we’re in this together. We’ll watch each other’s backs”

His words offered a glimmer of comfort, and Rayla managed a small, grateful smile.

“Thanks, Leo.”

He returned the smile, then gestured to the vast expanse of stars above them. “You know, sometimes I come up here to remind myself of the bigger picture. All those stars out there, it’s like... endless possibilities, you know? We’re just a tiny part of something much greater.”

Rayla followed his gaze, her eyes tracing the constellations. The vastness of the universe stretched out before her, and for a moment, the weight of her nightmares felt a little lighter.

“Yeah,” she agreed, her voice steadier now. “Endless possibilities.”

Next Part

[toonjazzy]

Rambling and Analyzing Eraser bc I’m a fucking nerd—

Alright, let’s get into it!

Okay Okay can I just point out that the intro with the chalkboard and the ripping paper reminds me of High School Sweethearts?

Also, the reversed vocals “Paper, I’ll be”, IT SOUNDS SO GOOD???

THE FUCKING BEAT? THE MELODY IS SO CATCHY I JUST WANNA SING

No doubt, it is way better with the weird bass and the distorted vocals

Also, the message? I think it’s obvious Crybaby is talking about losing her virginity but, listen closely to her words and you will realize this is seriously so sad but unfortunately this happens to so many people regardless of age or gender

The song is about Crybaby losing her virginity young to a person who lied to her and hurt her because they were just trying to get into her pants the whole time like Crybaby originally thought “I know you want only one thing” and says “I’m too young for falling in love”, this is the case for many people. Many people do not know the difference between Love and Lust and confuse together and end up hurt in the process but nobody likes discussing that :|

Crybaby clearly knows what she is getting into which is why she states she is “Pure as an Angel” and “Don’t you fuck me up” and talks about her eraser. And then by the second verse, I noticed that you can hear the distorted vocals more which makes me think it represents her subconscious. Notice that the distorted vocals repeat what she says “Sweet Talk” “Fall” “Lights are off, the lights are off!” “Take something away from me” “Dumb” Take something away from me” She also says “I’m so dumb for falling in love, baby I want you to take something away from me” this may be her arguing with herself because she has these intrusive thoughts which again, are common in most people. But she states that she fell in love because she has sexual thoughts as seen by the lyrics “Now I want only one thing”

Then she says she will no longer be pure as an angel, again, a common thing that happens to people when they have these feelings (Nothing to be ashamed of! Dw!) And then she says this, “Say we’ll last forever and I won’t need an eraser”

This is where the sad part comes in. They did not love her, they only wanted to fuck her and just told her what she wanted to hear so that she would agree. Again, this happens to a lot of people, unfortunately (Be careful if you desire a relationship with love AND lust combined but only receive lust) and we get to the best part of the song, the bridge and the breakdown!

This sounds like her thinking about what just happened and now panicking. She says “Why am I crying? Oh fuck that’s right, you got what you wanted! Oh fuck, that’s right!” So this could be like her either crying after sex (Which I’ve read happens to some people) or her being dumped right after

The distorted vocals could be her mind screaming because she was nervous to lose her virginity or her screaming because she just got heartbroken and knows that she will now be slutshamed (Again, a common thing that unfortunately happens) since she says “I was pure as an Angel, now I’m all fucked up”. Also the vocals sound like they’re saying “No” at the bridge as if her subconscious knew it was a bad idea and tried to tell her No, don’t do this

I imagine her with like wings of fire and everything around her burning and her inner demons yelling at her while she cries. “Wrote your name on my paper, now I’m all marked up” is a clever lyric bc this means that she lost her virginity to this person, and it will always mean that and it has a negative effect on her, “Some things last forever and I don’t have an eraser” (Eraser echoes)

I imagine her at the end picking up a knife and marching towards the person as she says “If I had an eraser, I’d undo what you’ve done!” To get sweet revenge as this is a Melanie Martinez song after all!

*Mic drops*

-Jester Jazzy, an Educated Aroace’s perspective

[sonicmusicmusings]

I saw other person ask runners song and yeah it was a hidden gem that's also Ohtani's fav album.

It's hard to pick which favorite since all tracks are really good imo, but many people including me says "End of The Summer" is almost like an ending song from anime. (I legit cried lmao😅)

Year of 2015 was a bit letdown for me where I was depressed from my real life situations and the release of boom broke me down harder.

If not because of runners I might never be here now.

Sorry if I ended up rambling and out of context lol

Thank you for sharing!

I think you hit it on the head--both this track and the other one we covered have that "anime OP/ED" feeling to them. It's so specific, isn't it? There's a form to them that's easy to notice if you watch a lot of anime--or just listen to their themes. Intro, verse, bridge, chorus that is easy to cap at the 1:30 mark or thereabouts. When they're extended, you get another verse, another chorus, a solo section or break, then the chorus is taken out with an outro. It can be formulaic, but you can do a lot in that space still! And that's my little ramble for the night!

Anyway, about the actual track! I think the violin main instrument is one that can really tug at you, with its high register and how it sings. I really like the second "verse section" with the mellow guitars leading in a sort of pseudo melody. Many instruments here take turns, from the violin, to the clean guitar, to the piano, all adding nice flavor among the comping distorted guitar and clean rhythm section. Ooh, and the bit in the last chorus, where they strip down to just violin and piano, then the key change to ramp up the tension...so nice! This is another great pick, and just tells me that I need to get my hands on the full soundtrack for myself!

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

OK ANON I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR LOVE FOR NIN TO AN EXTENT, BUT IM STILL PISSED ABOUT OK COMPUTER. NOT ONLY THE BEST ALBUM OF THE 90S, BUT ONE OF THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME? EACH TRACK IS A MASTERPIECE, MAKING THE FULL ALBUM SUCH AN EXPERIENCE. THE FIRST TIME I LISTENED I HAD TO STOP EVERYTHING AND JUST TAKE IT IN. I LAYED ON MY BACK AND JUST CRIED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING OUT OF PURE EMOTION FROM THE ALBUM. "AIRBAG"'S EXPERIMENTATION AND DISTORTED RIFF IS A FANTASTIC OPENER TO THE ALBUM, AND THE LYRICS JUST HIT. "PARANOID ANDROID" IS POSSIBLY THEIR BEST SONG, SWITCHING FROM GENRE TO GENRE WITH BEAUTIFUL LYRICAL PASSION AND AMAZING INSTRUMENTATION. THE GUITAR SOLO ALONE MAKES THE SONG A CLASSIC AND UNDOUBTEDLY A MASTERPIECE. "SUBTERRANEAN HOMESICK ALIEN"'S EXPERIMENTATION WITH PSYCHEDELIC INSTRUMENTATION CREATES AN ATMOSPHERIC EXPERIENCE. THE LYRICS ARE FILLED WITH SUCH PASSION, AND COMPLIMENT THE INSTRUMENTAL ELEMENTS BEAUTIFULLY. "EXIT MUSIC (FOR A FILM)"'S BRIDGE AND CLIMAX ARE UNMATCHED BY ANY SONG, AND THOM YORKE'S VOCALS ALONE AND INSANE. "LET DOWN"'S SLOW BUILD IS HEAVEN TO THE EARS, WITH THE THIRD VERSE'S USE OF LAYERING WITH THE BACKING VOCALS ALL COMING TOGETHER WITH THE MAIN VOCALS FOR THE CLIMAX CREATES AN EMOTIONAL MASTERPIECE. "KARMA POLICE"'S BEAUTIFUL AND DESPERATE LYRICAL GENIUS GO PERFECTLY WITH THE INSTRUMENTALS OF THE TRACK. "FITTER HAPPIER" WHILE AN INTERLUDE, GENIUSLY PORTRAY THE STRUGGLES AND PRESSURE OF THE WORKING MAN, AND HOW EASY IT IS TO CRUMBLE UNDERNEATH IT, WITH THE HAUNTING AND COLD VOICE REALLY COMPLIMENTING ITS GRIM LYRICS, WRAPPING IT ALL UP WITH A BOW. "CLIMBING UP THE WALLS" IS A COLD, ATMOSPHERIC AND EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE LIKE NO OTHER, WITH ITS CRESCENDO OF NOT ONLY THE INSTRUMENTAL ELEMENTS, BUT ALSO THE EMOTION IN THOM'S VOICE CREATE SUCH A CHILLING AND PASSIONATE TRACK THAT IS LIKE LITERALLY NO OTHER. SPEAKING OF PASSION, "ELECTIONEERING" REALLY SHOWCASES THOM'S AGGRESSION AND ANGER THROUGH LYRICS AND VOCALS IN THIS TRACK, NOT TO MENTION THE LEAD AND RYTHYM GUITAR'S UNIQUE ASPECTS COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER PERFECTLY, AND MAKE LISTENING SO SATISFYING, DESPITE THE SONG BEING RELATIVELY SIMPLE. "NO SURPRISES" IS A TRACK CLEARLY FILLED WITH SUCH PASSION AND ANGUISH, NOT ONLY THROUGH THE BANDS INSTRUMENTATION, BUT THOM YORKE'S BEAUTIFULLY DELIVERED VOCALS ABOUT APATHY AND STRUGGLES WITH MENTAL HEALTH, ALONG WITH THE PRESSURES OF MODERN DAY SOCIETY AND CAPITALISM. "LUCKY"'S BEYOND GORGEOUS GUITAR PAIRED WITH THOM'S VOCALS ARE SO ATMOSPHERIC, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE FLOATING. THERE IS LITERALLY NO EXPERIENCE THAT CAN BE MATCHED WITH LISTENING TO THIS TRACK. "THE TOURIST". MY GOD. THE BEAUTIFUL ORCHESTRATION AND INSTRUMENTATION COURTESY OF JONNY GREENWOOD CREATE SUCH A FLAVOURFUL AND SOOTHING TRACK, YET IT CAN BE PERCEIVED WITH A MELANCHOLIC UNDERTONE. BUT THE GENIUS IS IN THE LYRICS. "HEY MAN, SLOW DOWN" GIVES THE LISTENER INDICATION OF BEING IN A VEHICLE. YKW ELSE DOES THAT? AIRBAG, THE FIRST TRACK ABOUT SURVIVING A CAR CRASH, WHICH IS A METAPHOR FOR SECOND CHANCES. BUT "HEY MAN SLOW DOWN" GIVES US THE INDICATION THAT THE DRIVER IS BEING RECKLESS, MEANING THEY POSSIBLY GOT INTO AN ACCIDENT? ITS A LOOP. ITS A LOOP, GUYS. ITS A METAPHOR FOR THE TORTURED MIND OF THE WORKING MAN, FORCED TO LIVE THROUGH THE SAME, MUNDANE DAY AND HIS MUNDANE JOB UNTIL HE WORKS HIMSELF TO DEATH AND ITS A METAPHOR FOR CAPITALISM.

TLDR: OK COMPUTER IS THE GREATEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME EXCEPT MAYBE TDSotM AND IT DESERVED TO WIN AND YOU KNOW IT. IT WAS WAY BEFORE ITS TIME AND INSPIRED TOO MANY MODERN DAY GENRES TO COUNT.

📣anon📣got📣a📣megaphone📣

[nonasemporium]

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

Rate the Ship: Ortus/Colum Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs | The Narrative Parallels 

General:

How long will they last?  It depends on a few things. Technically they have never been, within canon, and both are dead, in different ways, to different ends, but if they were to last, it would also depend on their responsibilities. I don’t know if Colum would walk from his duty, ultimately, not without a large push, but if it was compatible within that, but I don’t know if they need to last. 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? I always see Ortus as falling so much easier, I think. I think in my mind he falls hard and he falls fast and he falls for potential–all things I don’t see Colum doing. They are parallel, they are foil, they are distorted reflection. I think if Ortus saw Colum’s conviction and honor and strength, that he would swoon, and I am not kidding.

Colum would need to see something else. Maybe himself in Ortus, in the opportunity he should have had to turn away, in the path he’d never had and that Ortus should not have had and yet somehow tried to stumble, and then ah. He was killed. Because while your path is death, it is also death to leave it. But something in him can admire that Ortus walked off of it anyway, even if it was out of cowardice, because he also can be moved by the way Ortus learned from this and came away with a weird balance. Ortus is right to have qualms with their lack of choice in the path. Colum has always questioned it, but it has been a harder thing to state. And I could see him liking the poetry, lol.

How was their first kiss? Missed. But I understand the context of this question. I think it was quiet and heavy in the chest but light at their lips. I think there was hesitation from both of them. I think they did not talk about it for a time after it happened. I’m not even sure who initiated it, but Ortus thought about it a while before it happened.

Wedding:

Who proposed? I think they discussed it, and I think Ortus maybe wasn’t sure if they could, and I think Colum was the one to actually step forward and do it. I think he had to be sure he could, and Ortus had already accepted that they couldn’t, and I think Ortus cried about it, and that it was very private, and it was very meaningful, and I think Colum did it in verse, and I think Ortus wanted to reply in it but was also very overwhelmed and touched and startled and maybe could not speak for long enough Colum wondered if he misunderstood their relationship, but he is also good at being quiet and patient, and when Ortus finally answers, there’s a bit of relief because he had been very sure Ortus would say yes and it was correct.

Who is the best man? I’m still dying on the hill that Gideon is Ortus’ best man and I do think it’s out of weird guilt and obligation towards her. I also cannot see Silas as a bridesmaid or a groomsman, honestly. I don’t even really know how he’d cope with the marriage. I don’t know enough about Colum’s relationship to his brothers to say if they’d be groomsmen–I could see them having a very strained relationship, honestly.

Who is the bridesmaid(s)? If she’s willing to be a part of it, Harrow maybe, if she was not literally ordaining it, and yes she has her own guilt to deal with here. If she is not in the bridal party, she is a very valued guest with first seating, although I imagine they’d seat her and Silas very far apart if he was willing to come. I have no doubt she’d be in the wedding some way or another, though. Abigail could be a bridesmaid, and Magnus might also be in the party similarly. 

Who did the most planning? I just see Ortus as having the most dreams and goals about a wedding. I think he’s very romantic at heart, and thus he has so many things he’d want, but he might not ask for them. Colum himself is not without drama, despite the Eighth House not acknowledging that they definitely are dramatic, and I could see him working with Harrow (to both of their discomfort, honestly) so that they coordinate to the taste Ortus has painted with his words. 

Who stressed the most? Ortus, though I do see Colum as stressed over it being a large affair.

How fancy was the ceremony? Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. I honestly think Colum would personally like for it to be private and small, but he will prioritize what it means to Ortus for it to be large and beautiful and ceremonial. I chose both 8 and 10, because it can only be 10 with Harrow’s guilt-help and a pool of resources they may or may not have. It’s okay, though, for their ceremony, Colum has different, private vows to give. The vows Ortus gives at the ceremony take a minimum of an hour, and that’s if he abridged them, and he has a captive audience and they will be dealing with it.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? Crux. If he’s still alive, he’s not coming. A silly part of me says Ortus may narrow his eyes at Naberius for hitting on Colum, but I don’t think he’d push that if they wanted the Third House to be there (although I could also see Harrow being down for not inviting the third house because I imagine she has unexplored beef with Coronabeth that has nothing to do with Gideon, obviously). If Colum’s relationship with his family/brothers is bad, he may not have many on his side, but if he can tolerate it, he’d bring them for Ortus, I think. Unless they cause problems with that, in which case, they can stay uninvited.

Sex:

Who is on top? I think Ortus thinks he’s a bottom, but I think something in the wary weight Colum carries makes him consider just laying him down and ravishing him and trying to make him feel good and somehow this leads to him considering topping him, and then I think he realizes he’s versatile, and also that he doesn’t want Colum to feel used by him, and I think he tops the first few times they have penetrative sex, and I think also he likes to give Colum oral, and one day Colum just asks if it’s his preference to always top, and he gets flustered and a bit overcome and explains himself, and Colum understands it, but then, yes, he tops Ortus and Ortus realizing it’s not using him, because they are enjoying it together, and it is weirdly healing to recognize that. I also think both of them have weird trauma they’d understand with each other about ejaculating, however, considering they’re both from long lines of intentionally bred cavaliers who have weird purposes correlated with collecting semen/ejaculation, but I also think the sharing of this understanding is part of what’s healing for them, and I think Ortus likes swallowing, send post.

Who is the one to instigate things? I don’t… know. I think they’d eventually reach a conclusion on it somewhat together and it would open up from there. I just see it as kind of slow-moving and mutual, but I can see Ortus taking the final step towards actually instigating? I just think the kind of position Colum is in is very complicated, and Ortus is braver than he thinks of himself.

How healthy is their sex life? I think they both probably have some trauma and some repression and some weird hang ups that they have to work with, but I think they both have patience and understanding for it, so that’s good. I also think sometimes a trigger is found but not communicated and then that’s less fun and good, but we’re all living and learning, I suppose.

How often do they have sex? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

This is so hard for me…. My problem is I feel like sometimes Ortus maybe goes a bit stir-crazy and wants to fall into it and have a lot of cathartic, engaging sex, including to make up for lost time. But I also think he has periods where he’s very wrapped up in other things, or gets hit in a different way by those feelings, and then they don’t for a while. I also view Colum as relatively busy/still having a lot of obligation, and them not always being able to? I see it as an ebb and flow.

How kinky are they? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

I put it in the middle again for Ortus. I don’t really know how to fully get into this, like I just think he has some things he really wants to try but also is it not already very kinky within their society that they’re together at all, the cav of the eighth and the cav of the ninth and they’re not even together to have children, in fact, please, they cannot stomach that. But then both of them are intended to be such subjects of violence, that I feel like often, there is a need for the comfort of something more tender?

I think they are constantly marked beasts and tools and I think certain ways of engaging with kink may be triggering for them, but I think some of them might be easier? I’ve already said before I think Ortus would like to write on a lover’s body, and some level of that can be sensory play even. I could see blindfolds, some restraint, an APPEAL to roleplay, but I also am keeping in mind that I think Colum has a lot of problems himself. Although I could see him being vaguely interested in knife play (a very gentle, mutually explorative knifeplay?) as a reminder that he is flesh and he is blood and he is present. 

What’s their most surprising kink? Maybe the knifeplay? It makes sense, but also it’s on a line with their histories of being used for and wanted for violence, etc. Making it so tender I think would really shape it for them both. 

How long do they normally last? I could see them not usually having a goal or a set standard for it. Slow, not necessarily focused on an ‘ending,’ and I’ve already said before I could see Ortus being interested in edging/chastity devices. I’ve also already said this, but I think Ortus also is someone who gets kind of spent after he’s orgasmed, and then it leans into cuddling and talking. Mostly Colum listening, honestly, since I imagine he might be the kind who likes to reflect internally on the feelings he experiences from it. Idling petting Ortus’ shoulder or the pricks of where his head is about to need a shaving again or the soft give of his collar, flesh and fat shielding bone.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? I don’t think they focus on it, actually. I think Ortus might have had some anxieties about it, but once he understood Colum’s own relationship to it, they settled in, and it wasn’t really about having an ‘equal’ amount, so long as they were both enjoying what they did. 

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

I think it’s usually very soft, for the reasons I’ve listed above, but I think sometimes it can get really intense. I think they’re both perfectly capable of it being something where someone is being thrown around, I just don’t think they often devolve to that? Although, you know, if Ortus wanted to practice sparring, I could see that leading to some interesting and passionate exploration, considering it’s an environment where at any point they have the ability and right to ask it to gentle. 

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | If they aren’t touching each other something is very wrong because they are always cuddling.

I’m putting an 8 because I feel like they touch very often, especially if they’re not disallowed to, but I imagine it’s often subtle things. Domestic things. I think also though Ortus was smothered by his mother a lot and sometimes wants a bit of physical space, and I think Colum has had constant demands made on his physical presence, and so they can be separate from one another and they can be understanding how the other may need physical space.  

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? If we’re being very honest, I think if they had the choice to not have children, they would take it. I think they both have a lot of trauma around it, especially around the expectations within that. I think Colum has already raised a child, one he was built to be used by, and he suffers the fear of having to put a child through what he has been through. I think he would for duty, but I think especially with Colum’s trauma adding to his, Ortus would be even more likely to refuse. 

How many children will they adopt? Again, they’re both very traumatized and have their own history of responsibilities and horrors with children. They could adopt, I guess, I just really don’t see it being an easy choice for them, especially if there was any other option.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? Colum knows how to change a diaper. Ortus would leave that task to anyone else, but knowing why Colum knows that, I think he tries to learn and engage despite dissociation. Colum still does the most.

Who is the stricter parent?  Colum. Ortus is throwing up. But it’s a gentle sternness, nothing like Ortus’ father, and with the patience of someone who knows what it’s like to not be allowed a childhood. Seeing how Colum navigates it makes Ortus hate his father even more.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? Ortus is still throwing up. The kids are considering not doing it just so Ortus isn’t dying. Colum corrects the behavior, but calmly. 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? Exactly like with Matthias, Ortus gets incredibly anxious about it and is definitely considering making them, and stressing over making them, and stressing over if something goes wrong with them or if some gas is released into the cafeteria or what if what if what if. Colum is sitting him down and calming him and taking care with what he packs. Colum checks them to give Ortus some peace of mind again before the kids leave with them.

Who is the more loved parent? I think they’re both loved, in different ways. But Ortus is a bit smothering and anxious and constantly reciting his own poetry, so maybe Colum is the cooler dad. That doesn’t mean they don’t love Ortus, of course, but it’s hard when you can see a parent dissociate every time they look at you, and while Colum might be doing that to, he does it much more calmly.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Colum. He goes to every one. He recounts important details to Ortus later, and is sure to convey some of Ortus’ complaints if it’s relevant to do so.

Who cried the most at graduation? Ortus. But Colum is filled with deep emotion.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?  Ortus is doing something he avoids and that’s using Harrow’s guilt to make her bail his kids out and he will absolutely feel bad about it but he must. Colum is reflecting on if his children have learned the correct values. Ortus and Colum have a very tense disagreement over it, but nothing relationship-ending.

Cooking:  

Who does the most cooking? Colum. I imagine he has more experience with it, but maybe sometimes they work together on things as he goes over some of the basics. Ortus likes hearing him talk, and he’s more likely to talk if it has a purpose. Also it’s pretty to watch him work with his hands.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? I feel like Ortus. I feel like he just has had even less exposure to things that taste like anything and so he’ll have to approach it carefully.

Who does the grocery shopping? I think they both will, and maybe even enjoy doing it together as a domestic task, but if they’re in a hurry, Colum will volunteer because otherwise Ortus is going to spend two hours choosing a single item, as he painstakingly weighs the pros and cons and then gets distracted thinking about how to describe them in verse.

How often do they bake desserts? I think they could both enjoy a sweet. But maybe still rarely, since I’m not sure how much access they have to the materials/the indulgence.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? I’ve said this before and I’ll say it now. Soup. Meat or tuber or bone stock, it doesn’t matter, I think they’re more likely to eat soup. Although I do think Colum might need meat for the amount of nutrients he’s depleted of, so if I have to choose between meat and salad, meat, and Ortus would eat it alongside him.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? Ortus one day finally figures out how to cook everything right enough, so he tells Colum to go out to do something, because Colum always cooks the anniversary dinner, and while he’s out, he makes the best meal he’s ever accomplished in his life, but forgets the bread in his list of a million tiny details, and while he’s ready to panic over it, Colum returns, notices, and has already picked up bread he intended to toast up for the dinner he planned. His eyes do that soft thing, where the corners show you he’s smiling even if his lips haven’t followed, and he is touched and a little amused that Ortus rushed around him to do it. They bake the bread he bought and Ortus feels nervous again like early on but also giddy, and Colum feels cared for, and then instead of cleaning up, which they usually do immediately following food, he moves aside anything he’s too worried about getting involved, and then he thanks him for his thoughtfulness at the table with a prayer at his lips.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Hm. Colum, I think. He notices when Ortus is getting a little too consumed in his cocoon of creativity and suggests they go out, and then they do. Ortus appreciates the fresh air, especially if he’s been frustrated with a specific piece, and they do simple activities that they can slip into. I think Colum has to be told to take time away from work, too, but I think he tries to be mindful of how much they’re self-isolating together. 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?  Ortus, bless him.

Chores: 

Who cleans the room?  They both clean, but Colum probably cleans faster. He needs the busywork. Ortus at first was anxious Colum felt he had to, but it’s one of the few things he finds soothing and distracting from his other responsibilities, so Ortus doesn’t fight him for it. He still picks up after himself, though, of course.

Who is really against chores?  Neither.

Who cleans up after the pets?  They do not have pets. If they did, then both. [Whoever got there first].

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? Ortus, because I think Colum is very thorough. He would not appreciate if Ortus did this in a rush, but he’d just put things where they actually belong after and maybe remind him he can ask him for help if he’s overwhelmed.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?  Ortus, for sure.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? Ortus. Colum left it there so he felt like he was catching something he missed. He likes the way his husband lights up when he’s noticed a detail.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Ortus. He got caught up in his daydreams.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? There is no dog, but if there was, probably Colum, as one of the tasks he engages in to let out steam. A little mindless, a little simple, a way to be grounded and present anyway.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? Ortus might. Colum would where it was necessary for duty. Maybe nothing huge.

What are their goals for the relationship? Peace. Comfort. Understanding.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? I don’t think either does, but I also think Colum wakes up always at dawn, so maybe sometimes he watches Ortus in the dim new-morning light and he thinks about these things and he considers if Ortus will sleep in. Ortus wakes up not long after, because he doesn’t want to miss the way Colum seems so soft at the start of the day. They eat together and it’s quiet, but comforting.

Who plays the most pranks? Ortus. That’s okay. Colum has a few of his own. Ortus has still not noticed that three of his socks were darned with silver thread instead of black.

[ober-affen-geil]

March for Meta Day 1: Season 1

Ship: Malex | Song: "We Belong" by Pat Benatar

It should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone familiar with my RNM meta that my ship pick for season 1 is Malex. It's the ship that got me into the show and it's the ship that ate my brain and spat meta out at a feverish pace in the first few months of the first hiatus...it's the ship that put me in this fandom.

"We Belong" represents Malex, especially season 1 Malex, to me because it's about a romantic relationship that is....rocky? It's actually unclear if the relationship is actually in progress or is only past tense, and how the other person feels about the relationship at all. But what is clear is that the two people have had issues of communication, have hurt each other, but ultimately are linked inextricably.

The language of the chorus states not only "we belong together", but also references the natural; unavoidable elements of living. Elements specifically found in a storm (light, thunder). Cosmic elements. It's this in the chorus and the specific lines throughout the verses speaking about how uniquely they can hurt each other, and acknowledges they are both wrong.

It's also that the song is a classic pop ballad sung with a powerful voice and a slow but driving and inescapable percussive rhythm in the back.

Lyrics: Many times I tried to tell you Many times I cried alone Always I'm surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone Don't want to leave you really I've invested too much time to give you up that easy To the doubts that complicate your mind Chorus: We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better We belong, we belong, we belong together Maybe it's a sign of weakness when I don't know what to say Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength anyway Have we become a habit? Do we distort the facts? Now there's no looking forward Now there's no turning back When you say [Chorus] Close your eyes and try to sleep now Close your eyes and try to dream Clear your mind and do your best to try and wash the palette clean We can't begin to know it, how much we really care I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere Still you say [Chorus x2]

[goboymusic]

It’s Tuesday. I was reading about the sinking of the #Titanic and came upon a few quotes from #survivors that shook me. The next paragraph consists of three quotes describing the sound of hundreds of people drowning just yards away from the lifeboats (706 survivors, 1,517 deaths).

Those in the lifeboats were horrified to hear the sound of what Lawrence Beesley called "every possible emotion of human fear, despair, agony, fierce resentment and blind anger mingled – I am certain of those – with notes of infinite surprise, as though each one were saying, 'How is it possible that this awful thing is happening to me? That I should be caught in this death trap?'" George Rheims described it as "a dismal moaning sound which I won't ever forget; it came from those poor people who were floating around, calling for help. It was horrifying, mysterious, supernatural." As Beesley later wrote, the cries "came as a thunderbolt, unexpected, inconceivable, incredible. No one in any of the boats standing off a few hundred yards away can have escaped the paralysing shock of knowing that so short a distance away a tragedy, unbelievable in its magnitude, was being enacted, which we, helpless, could in no way avert or diminish."

Plundering medieval kingdoms with genocidally dangerous magical spells. That’s “Crush It With #Thunder (Song 63).”

You probably wouldn’t guess that “Crush It With Thunder” was one of the most difficult songs to produce on GoBoy 4, given its simplicity. Five days were spent trying to come up with vocals for the verses, which involved constant rewriting, re-recording and remixing. Ultimately, the instruments were left as instrumentals. This was a period of time where I was only spending a week on each song, so wasting five days was the limit. Production was halted and focus was shifted to “Yodel (Song 64).”

The looped bass line in the intro and verses, made by adding distortion and limiter to a bass synth, was the first thing created for this song. The rest of the song was written around that bass line.

This song’s original chorus was scrapped and later reused for “Kraken (Song 81).” Both songs have the same tempo, software instruments and chord progression.

After dabbling in bubblegum pop for the 2nd half of GoBoy 3, my original plan was to focus on lyrically driven content for GoBoy 4. The release of ”Everything Will Be Okay (Song 69)” changed my mind, as the focus on dark lyrics impacted my mental state for months afterwards. Focusing on the dark elements of your own life for long enough can turn you into a neurotic mess (the original song “Everything Will Be Okay” had a 3rd verse the delved darker). My focus would shift to bubblegum pop from that point forward, which would impact this song. Music would be made for enjoyment and catchiness, not necessarily for conveying a message. I don’t regret this shift in focus… yet (excerpts from post 60).

In April, 2021, almost all of GoBoy 3, 4 and 5‘s songs were restructured to be under 3 minutes (preferably under 2m 30s), including this song. In an attempt to increase replay value in this streaming era, most of GoBoy’s songs are now purposely around 2m 20s (excerpts from post 38).

A bass boost was added to songs 37-99 in Nov, 2021, while I was stuck at home with covid. As a result, this song feels more powerful. The bass boost isn’t a simple plugin nonchalantly added to each song. It’s a process that took about 3.5 hours per song, or one whole month to complete all songs. Admittedly, I pushed the bass boost a little too far for some of them. The bass in some songs sounds like a freaking earthquake (unnecessarily pronounced low frequencies 20 - 50 Hz). Might dial that back someday. The bass boost was also applied to every song on GoBoy 6 and beyond (excerpt from post 37).

[obscure-sentimentalist]

so what's the story ur writing that's been making u happier?

For the fic ask

Alright, I’ve been thinking a while on how best to answer this, because I’ll be honest, I could so easily spiral into a tangent full of me screaming about “My BOOOOOYYYY!” and other things I love about this particular work. So I’m going to try to keep that all to a minimum. 

I kind of burned out/got myself trapped in a “must get content out” hole with my usual projects, and last month was the first time in a long time where I just let myself do whatever I wanted, write anything my brain actually decided to focus on. The project of choice ended up being Distortion, which has its roots as an AU of a crossover AU and was written as such up until last month, when I officially decided to cut it loose as its own contained piece and rework any previous pieces I want to keep for the new direction. It had just evolved so much that the crossover aspect (which was just one character who was technically a variation of a canon character, if his life had gone a very different way) pretty much disappeared from the narrative overall, so spinning it off on its own seemed like the right thing to do.

The thing about Distortion, though, is that I’m wrangling a 30+ year timeline and multiple POV characters across it, and instead of focusing in on the actual current-day narrative, I keep wandering off into the dark areas of the universe’s past, or dabbling in the bright spots of its future. The writing I’ve been happiest with lately have been important moments in that past, primarily because of the POV character. 

This is where I start screaming about my sweet boy, Tate, who evolved from a raw cookie dough cutout that just vaguely resembled an existing character and became a full-fledged original character in his own right. He just... came to life in a way I never expected, or have really ever experienced with a character--he’s complicated and complex, full of nuances and particular habits, and I routinely find myself wanting to cry over him or just blabber on about what I love about him. (The latter of which I most certainly will do, if given the opportunity.) Writing about the Distortion ‘verse as seen through his eyes has given me so much joy and truly revitalized my feelings about my craft.

I have no idea if Distortion is ever truly going to see the light of day in any form--it’s completely self-indulgent (my audience is probably myself, a few other people, and maybe a pigeon), and at the rate I’m going, who knows when I’ll actually touch the present-day narrative--but at the very least, it’s been a delight to work on behind the scenes and as a break from everything else.

[primordyalsoul]

WAUGH..i just finished tokyo metropolitan magic...weeping sobbing doing cartwheels

[f1nalboys]

So "He wondered if theyll meet again" dang how about Stu and Reader meeting again in the afterlife (or Dbd verse if youre familiar). Maybe some fluffy angst 👀👀👀👀👀👀

you always know where to hit me, dont you?? this is a pretty short one but i hope thats alright! i hope you enjoy!!

this is a semi continuation to the ending as well as stu's perspective (and the alternate ending lol) major tw for all three, please read warnings!

WORD COUNT: 784

WARNINGS: suicide mention, murder mention, guilt, implication of heaven and hell, they're kind of in purgatory?

Stu wakes up to the sound of carnival music. His head is killing him, the sounds of kids laughing and the chattering of the passersby not helping. He was on a bench outside the funhouse, a plate of funnel cake beside him. “Wha-?” When he looks down, he see’s that he’s wearing the ‘I’m Stupid’ shirt he had gotten at a carnival with you.

“Hey there, sleepy-head!” Stu turns and sees you walking up to him, a bright smile on your face, an ice cream cone in hand, ‘I’m With Stupid’ t-shirt on. You sit besides him, tossing your legs over his. “You’ve been passed out on the bench for the last few minutes.”

“Oh. Sorry,” He says, his heart hammering inside his chest. Everything that had happened came rushing back to him; the murders, the planning, your death, stu’s death. He shouldn’t be here. He should be in hell, tormented forever with the memory of what he did. But when you smile at him, he realizes that this might be worse than hell.

A reminder of what he had lost.

“No need to apologize. You feelin’ better?” He nods, looking away from you in an attempt to calm down. Maybe it was all a dream. A sick, disgusting, awful dream. “Stu? Baby?” You place your hand on his shoulder and he jumps, forcing out a laugh when you look at him with worry.

He throws an arm over your shoulder and pulls you into him, something that feels unnatural now. “I’m all good, babe. Just dreamed something weird, I guess. Must’ve been the food.”

“What did you dream about?” You ask, licking your ice cream. He wiggles his eyebrows at you and you scoff, elbowing him slightly. You wait for him to speak.

He sighs, taking a bite of his food. “It was just… I did something to you. You know, not a good thing.” He watches your face carefully, unsure of if he should continue.

“That you killed me.”

You didn’t ask him, you said it. His eyebrows furrow and he watches as your face flashes with anger for just a second. What the fuck. “Uhm, what?” You roll your eyes, taking another bite of your ice cream. Stu looks around to see that the carnival was empty, save for you too, the colors more muted, the music distorted. “What the fuck?”

When he turns to look at you, your hand snakes around his waist, pulling him into you. “You killed me, baby. And then you died. It’s why we’re here.” Stu makes a noise of confusion, tears burning at his eyes as he snuggles into you more, breathing in your scent. “I’ve been here for a bit. Waiting.”

“Y/N… fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are, babe.” Your fingers tangle in his hair and you hold him as he cries. You’ve had plenty of time to deal with what happened, and the rest of the time has been looking over Stu. He was struggling, that much was certain, and when he had taken those pills you had been begging for him to stop. It had fallen on deaf ears. “You’re alright, I’m here.”

He sits up, sniffling, his eyes bloodshot. “You… I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry. And now you’re fucking stuck here with me…”

“M’not stuck here, Stu. I could have left anytime I wanted.” You place a kiss on his cheek, grinning when he leans into your touch. “I saw how you were after… you dealt with enough hurt then, I don’t see the need to add on to it. C’mon, let’s go on a ride.” When you had walked past the bench and saw Stu on it, you knew that you were supposed to judge him. Forgive him if you’d like, or send him to hell. It was an easy decision.

You stand, holding your hand out for him and he takes it. He trails behind you as you lead him to the Ferris Wheel, people gradually beginning to show up again, the colors becoming more vibrant with each step. He could feel the guilt leaving his body the longer you held onto him.

The two of you step onto the Ferris Wheel cart, settling into each other's side. “Why did you forgive me?” His voice was quiet, nearly incomprehensible, and you sigh.

“I don’t know. I was mad, at first. Really mad. But seeing how you were after? It felt like you got beat down more than enough. I love you, and I always will.”

“I love you too.” He smiles, looking at you and leaning in. Your lips touch and the memories of what he did are gone. All he knows is you.