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helen-with-an-a · 23 days ago

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Hello, I hope you’re fine! 🤗

I kind of have an request/idea. It’s not very detailed but I’ve read a lot of fics where it’s like: r is (best) friends with player and secretly in love with them, and the whole team is like „it’s so obvious she likes you back“. I always wonder how it would be if the players feelings aren’t obvious? Like from an outsider point of view it actually seems like the player doesn’t reciprocate r’s feelings and only wants to be friends? Even though that’s not true. More or less angst with a happy ending. Hope that makes sense 😅

Totally okay of your not into this „idea“ ofc!! Thanks :)

Something's Different

So I definitely changed this but I really like how it turned out and I hope you do too. I think this still kinda fits what you were after tho.

Georgia Stanway x Reader

Description: Something is definitely different with Georgia and Keira is trying to figure out what

Keira stared at her best friend, her brows furrowing. Something was different about Georgia today. She looked the same – her familiar smooth ponytail and bright smile, her laughter still rang with the same infectious energy. Yet there was something off, a subtle shift that Keira couldn't quite place.

“Kei?” Leah called, her concern growing for her ginger friend as she studied Georgia. “Keira?” she tried again.

“Something’s different,” Keira stated matter-of-factly.

“Huh?” Leah asked, confused. The blonde looked from Keira to Georgia and back, trying to see something that only Keira could spot.

“Something’s different with Gee,” Keira reiterated.

“Is there?” Leah turned her head, scrutinising Georgia.

Georgia stood in front of her cubby; one foot propped against the wooden bench as she reached to tie her shoelaces. You were next to her, of course, one leg drawn up to your chest, your hands busy fiddling with your boots while the two of you were deep in conversation, eyes locked on each other. The world around you faded into a blur as if nothing else mattered but Georgia.

“She looks the same to me,” Leah concluded, her tone dismissive.

“Something’s different,” Keira mumbled again, her eyes narrowing as she studied Georgia more intently. There was a lightness to her movements, a glow to her skin, as if she had discovered something that had shifted her perspective on the world.

You laughed loudly at something Georgia had said, the sound infectious and bright. Georgia joined in a moment later, her laughter harmonising perfectly with yours, both of you moving in sync as you gathered your belongings for training.

“Maybe it’s just me,” Keira murmured, unable to shake the feeling that something was different with her best friend.

-----

The canteen buzzed with the chatter. The Lionesses were always a noisy bunch, but Keira's focus was solely on you. You sat with the City players, Georgia sat right next to you like always.

“Keep frowning, and your face will stay like that,” Lucy teased, walking up to Keira, her playful tone cutting through Keira’s concentration.

“Something’s different,” Keira explained, her voice barely above a whisper as she kept her eyes trained on you, her eyebrows scrunching concern.

“About who?” Lucy asked, her expression shifting as her eyes darted around the room, searching for any sign of what might be out of the ordinary.

“Gee,” Keira replied.

“Not this again,” Leah chimed in, spinning around to face them with an exaggerated sigh, her own gaze following Keira’s to the table.

“What?” Lucy asked, clearly confused by the sudden shift from Leah

“She was banging on about this the other day,” Leah elaborated, rolling her eyes in frustration. “She’s convinced something’s different with Gee.”

“Nothing seems wrong,” Lucy commented, her head tilting to the side.

“That’s ‘cause you’re bloody blind,” Keira shot back, pursing her lips in irritation. “Something is definitely different with Gee.” The words hung in the air like a challenge, daring Lucy to say differently.

Leah and Lucy exchanged glances, unsure of how to respond. “What do you mean?” Leah pressed, trying to understand.

“It’s like… I don’t know, she’s just different. I can’t put my finger on it, but it feels like she’s–” Keira hesitated, searching for the right words. “Like she’s just come into her own or something.”

“You mean more confident?” Lucy suggested.

“Maybe, but it’s more than that. It’s like she’s … glowing. I don't know.” Keira’s gaze softened as she watched Georgia animatedly gesturing, the sunlight catching the strands of her hair, making them glimmer.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Lucy said. “What if she really has changed? People do grow, you know.”

“Yeah, but this feels different, like she’s been given permission to be whoever she wants to be,” Keira murmured, unable to shake the feeling that something monumental was unfolding right before her eyes.

You were leaning imperceptibly closer to Georgia, your body angled just enough to catch every word she was saying over the shouts of laughter. The bustling noise faded into a background hum as you focused entirely on her, tilting your head slightly to catch her voice. Your smile grew broad in response to something Georgia had whispered in your ear. Georgia’s own smile mirrored yours, lighting up her face in a way, her eyes shimmering.

In that moment, the two of you existed in a world of your own making, where shared jokes and whispers held a special kind of magic. Georgia opened her mouth as if to say something more, her eyes sparkling with excitement and mischief, but the moment was abruptly interrupted when someone called your name from across the room. Georgia looked up instinctively at your name. You waited a moment longer, letting your eyes scan over Georgia's face before turning to see who had called you. When you were suitably distracted, Georgia looked back to you, her eyes tracing lines over your face, as if checking everything was still ok.

Keira narrowed her eyes, determined to store this information away for later.

As you turned back to Georgia, your expression still bright from the conversation, Keira felt a twinge of something – protectiveness, maybe? She couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but it was clear that whatever was happening between you and Georgia was significant.

-----

Keira jumped as the door to her and Georgia’s shared bedroom slammed shut, the sudden noise reverberating through the small space like a thunderclap. Georgia stormed past her, anger radiating off her in waves, before launching herself onto her bed with a heavy thud. The mattress groaned under the sudden impact.

“Gee?” Keira ventured cautiously, not wanting to provoke her friend further.

“What?” Georgia huffed, her voice tight as she turned her back to Keira.

“You good?” Keira asked, her tone gentle.

“Yup,” Georgia replied. She popped the ‘p’ with emphasis, a gesture that conveyed more than her words ever could. It told Keira everything she needed to know about Georgia’s current mood – one that was anything but fine.

“Wanna talk about it?” Keira offered, her heart aching for her friend.

“Nope,” Georgia shot back, popping the 'p' again, her voice flat as she whipped out her phone, fingers flying over the screen.

Keira let out a small sigh. “I’ll be here if you want to,” she said softly, a sympathetic smile tugging at her lips.

For a moment, Keira sat in silence, watching Georgia scroll through her phone, a storm brewing just beneath the surface. As the seconds ticked by, the air in the room felt thick with unspoken tension, a stark contrast to the usually light-hearted atmosphere they shared. Keira’s mind raced, filled with questions. Was it something that happened at in training? A falling out with someone? Or perhaps something deeper, something that had been simmering for a while?

“Well, if you what to, I'm here,” Keira mumbled, turning to gather her bits for a shower.

-----

“Obi said he was nice,” you commented to Millie, looking up at her with an unsure smile, hoping she’d have some magic solution to your problem. Obi’s glowing recommendation had made the whole thing sound almost too good to pass up, but deep down, you felt uneasy.

“Yeh, but do you actually want to go on a date with him?” Millie countered, crossing her arms and giving you a knowing look. You winced at her tone.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair, your thoughts running a mile a minute. The truth was, you didn’t want to go. The idea of it made your heart sink. There was only one person you wanted to spend time with, to share a laugh or a quiet moment, to go on dates and kiss until your heart was content ... and that person certainly wasn’t interested in you.

Millie watched you, her eyes softening. “Look, the way I see it,” she began gently, “if you do go on a date with this dude, and you’re not really into it, that’s kind of leading him on, isn’t it? And that’s not fair to either of you.”

You sighed again, the weight of your dilemma pressing down on your shoulders. “Yeah, I know. I don’t want to hurt him or make things awkward. But…” You paused, struggling to put your feelings into words. “Going on a date with someone else is the only way I can think of getting over her.”

Millie’s face softened with a look of understanding, and she nodded. “Ahhh, mystery girl,” she said, her voice laced with amusement. She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, a grin spreading across her face.

“Oh, shut up,” you groaned, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks as you whined.

“I’m just saying!” Millie teased, nudging you with her elbow. “Whoever she is, she's got you down baaaad.” She chuckled, giving you a sympathetic look. “But honestly, have you ever thought about, oh, i don't know … telling her how you feel?”

You shook your head quickly, laughing a little too loudly. “No way. She’s way out of my league. Besides, I don’t want to mess things up and make it all awkward.” Your eyes drifted subconsciously over to the familiar sight of Georgia walking through the hallway, her brown-blonde ponytail swaying gently with each step. She walked in stride beside Leah and Lucy, her shoulders slumped slightly.

You felt a pang in your chest. Georgia had been pulling away from you since last night. You weren't sure why or what the cause was, but her answers were short, she refused to sit next to you at breakfast and lunch, and during training, she had all but run away from you when you turned to her for a partner.

Millie tilted her head, her expression softening. “You never know,” she said gently., pulling your attention back to her. “Sometimes, the things we think are impossible aren’t so impossible after all. Maybe she’d surprise you.”

You rolled your eyes, pretending not to consider her words, even though they tugged at something deep inside you. Part of you wished Millie was right, that a confession wouldn’t ruin everything. But the way Georgia was acting right now made you think differently. Maybe keeping it a secret was for the best.

Keira watched you from over her coffee. She was just close enough to hear the conversation if she concentrated hard enough. She had watched the way you bit your lip as you studied Georgia, a nervous expression on your face.

A date back in Germany? A mystery girl that had your heart?

Keira took a slow sip of her coffee, her eyes narrowing slightly as she pieced things together. She had been observing you for a while now – your stolen glances toward Georgia, the way your shoulders tensed every time her name came up in conversation, and, of course, your slight blush whenever Georgia happened to walk by. This “mystery girl” wasn’t much of a mystery to Keira anymore.

Her mind flashed back to all the subtle hints: the way you perked up whenever Georgia entered a room, or how you seemed to find an excuse to be near her, no matter the situation. She knew you and Georgia were close. You lived together in Munich, Georgia had not-so-subtly followed you out to the Bundesliga, you were like Lessi and Tooney - always together, it was weird whenever you weren't together.

“Got something on your mind, Kei?” Mary asked, having noticed the far-off look in Keira’s eyes.

Keira snapped back to the present, offering Mary a nonchalant smile. “Just thinking … how some people are a bit oblivious.”

-----

“Gee, please,” you begged, feeling your heart twist painfully as Georgia stormed into the empty changing room, her face flushed with a mix of frustration and hurt. She wouldn’t even look at you as she strode over to her locker.

“If you want to go on a date so badly, just do it!” she shouted, yanking her locker open with such force it banged against the wall.

You stood frozen for a moment, her words echoing in your head, sharp and bitter. “But why are you angry?” you asked, your voice trembling as you tried to keep yourself from crying. Georgia’s silence was deafening, broken only by the sounds of her furious movements as she tossed items aside. She didn’t respond, just huffed in irritation.

“Please, Gee,” you tried again, voice barely above a whisper. But Georgia’s only response was to grab something from her locker with far too much force, her expression hardening as if she were putting up every wall she could muster.

“No! Just go on that bloody date, will you?” she snapped, refusing to meet your gaze.

You felt a tear roll down your cheek, the hurt of her dismissal cutting deep. “But you’re mad at me. Gee, please. I don’t understand.”

Georgia’s jaw clenched, her shoulders tense as if she were holding back a torrent of words she couldn’t control. “No, I’m not,” she replied tersely, but the lie was as see-through as a window.

“For fuck’s sake, Gee,” you said, the crack in your voice betraying the heartbreak you felt. “You’re my best friend. We live together, for Christ’s sake. I know when you’re mad at me.”

At that, Georgia whirled around, her gaze blazing as she finally locked eyes with you, her expression a mix of anger and raw vulnerability that you hadn’t seen before.

“You want to know why I’m mad? Huh?” she demanded, her voice strained, holding back something too big to contain. You nodded, feeling your own breath catch as you steadied yourself, bracing for whatever was coming.

“I’m mad because it should be me." Her voice broke as the words tumbled out in a rush, a wave of a confession she couldn’t take back. “I should be the one to take you on dates. I should be the one who gets to kiss you and hold your hand. I should be the one who brings you flowers just because and makes you your favourite meal after training.” Her voice wavered, but her eyes held steady, piercing into yours with a fierce intensity. “Me! Not him. Me!”

She took a shaky breath, her expression softening just enough for you to see the pain beneath her anger. “And I can’t do any of that because… because you’re not mine. You never have been.” Her voice dropped to a whisper.

You stood there, her words crashing over you, and for a moment, you couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t even breathe. You wanted to reach out, to touch her, to somehow convey that she’d been wrong all along – that she didn’t need permission, that she already had a hold on you far deeper than she realised.

Your voice finally returned, soft and trembling. “Gee… I ... I didn't know.”

“Well, now you do,” she murmured, barely able to meet your gaze as she shrugged. You stepped closer, closing the space between you, feeling your heart race as you reached for her hand, testing the waters.

“I've always been yours,” you whispered, lifting her chin so that she’d look at you. “I don’t want him, Gee. I've never wanted anyone else. I only want you.”

Georgia’s breath caught, her eyes widening as the reality of your words sank in. Slowly, her expression softened, the anger melting away, replaced by something gentler, something fragile and fresh.

"Y-you do?"

"Of course, I do. Ever since we rocked up to City on that first day and we were both batshit terrified. I ... I love y-"

Lips met yours in a frantic moment. As sweet as sugar, Georgia let her fingers glide into your hair as you gripped her shirt tightly.

"Can I take you for lunch when we get back to Munich?" Georgia whispered when you parted, her eyes still shut, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"As long as I can take you for dinner," you smiled back, leaning up to kiss her again.

-----

The door to their shared bedroom slammed shut again, but this time the atmosphere was completely different. There was no angry huffing, no frustrated muttering under her breath. Instead, Georgia practically glided across the room, throwing herself onto her bed with an energy Keira could only describe as … gleeful.

Keira tilted her head, watching Georgia with mounting curiosity as her friend landed on the bed and rolled onto her back, phone in hand, her thumbs moving at lightning speed across the screen. A small, knowing smirk played on Keira’s lips as she took in the scene, noting the way Georgia’s eyes sparkled with a new kind of light, her cheeks flushed with something decidedly un-angry.

“Gee?” Keira asked, bewilderment and amusement lacing her tone.

“What?” Georgia replied absently, barely looking up from her phone.

“You good?” Keira pressed, raising an eyebrow, trying to hide the grin threatening to break through.

Georgia finally looked up, just enough to reveal the unmistakable giddiness etched into her features. “Yep,” she said with a huge smile, her gaze flicking back to her phone as she tapped out another message. A soft giggle escaped her, and she bit her lip to stifle it, but it was too late – Keira had noticed everything.

“Want to talk about it?” Keira asked, her voice deliberately casual as she perched on the edge of her bed across from Georgia, arms crossed in curiosity.

“Nope,” Georgia replied, her face lighting up again as she read the latest message, a quiet laugh bubbling from her lips. She seemed almost oblivious to Keira’s questioning gaze, too lost in whatever – or whoever – was on the other side of her screen.

Keira watched her with a mixture of fondness and amusement, unable to hold back a smile as Georgia’s laughter filled the room, soft but genuine. She knew better than to push; whatever Georgia was holding close, she’d share in her own time.

“I’ll be here if you want to,” Keira said softly, a knowing smile creeping across her face as she settled back against her pillows. Georgia didn’t respond, too lost in her world of giddy texting, but the slight blush on her cheeks told Keira all she needed to know.

Something was definitely different with Georgia.

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astroismypassion · 1 year ago

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Astrology observations 🪐🪐🪐

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

🪐When you have Pluto in the 7th house in your Solar Return chart that year you might feel tempted to sabotage your personal, one on one relationships, romantic partnerships, friendships and committed partnerships in order to form new ones. You will want to destroy them just so you can build new ones.

🪐If you have Pluto in the 3rd house in Synastry chart you two will be very competitive with each other, especially in running, cycling etc.

🪐People with Pisces Moon/Pisces IC or Pisces over the 4th house tend to find their one true love after they retire. Usually these people spend a lifetime finding a partner that doesn't make them feel lonely.

🪐With Pluto in the 7th house in the Solar Return chart you might enter a legal contract that year that could bring you debt the years following, so stay mindful with what you are signing when you have Solar Return Pluto in the 7th house.

🪐Mercury in the 5th house natives are extra competitive when playing board games. They desire to win at all costs.

🪐I noticed that whenever you connect with the Sun sign person of your Moon sign, for example you have Aries Moon in the 4th house and you connect with Aries Sun or Cancer Sun, you feel like you have hard time connecting with them through your own CURRENT interests. Because the Moon is so connected with the past, your childhood, upbringing and your growing up. With them you are always pulled in the past and nostalgia. You spend a lot of time talking about hobbies, interests that you've done in the PAST, but not so much actively, in the present moment. It's like they remind you only of the activities, interests, hobbies and passions that you had in childhood or while growing up, but it's much harder to sync in with them through your active, current interests that you have in your adult life.

🪐Mars in the 9th house always need to listen to music while they are doing an activity or while they are active, walking around the city, on their way to somewhere, while in transportation or during sports.

🪐Moving on to celebrity world, I find interesting how rappers Cardi B and Offset, who are married released song Jealousy since both have Scorpio Venus in their Natal charts. They are quite literally making money (Venus) off jealousy (Scorpio theme).

🪐The 2nd house shows on who you are spending your money on. So when someone puts their personal planets into your 2nd house, you spend a lot of money of them. And vice versa, when someone has your sign over their 2nd house, they might spend a lot of money on you. But with so not that often discussed, is that it goes the same for your Part of Fortune sign. If you have Sagittarius Part of Fortune, a Sagittarius Sun might give you money or spend a lot on you, buy you gifts. Since Part of Fortune represents also material wealth.

🪐People with Libra Midheaven are so fascinating to me. The native with Libra MC is always known for their partnership/marriage, they are known as "this person's partner/wife/husband". BUT the Libra MC native is always EVEN MORE well known or has more attention, recognized by the public than their partner/spouse. For example celebrities Kim Kardashian, who for the longest was associated with Kanye West and as "Kanye's wife", her popularity outgrew her husband. The same in case of Cardi B (Libra MC) and his husband Offset. Similary, Kylie Jenner (Libra MC) who dated Travis Scott, now supposedly Timothee Chalamet, she will always be known for dating these people, but will be bigger than them. To conclude Libra MC native will be always KNOWN by association, because of their PARTNER or who they team up with, but Libra MC native will despite that always be BIGGER, have even more attention, success than their partner in some sense.

🪐Capricorn Lilith is often faced with rumours and gossip about them in the workplace and usually they are started by a boss and distributed by co-workers.

🪐I noticed two signs repeated in charts that often point to extreme sensitivity. It's Pisces and Aries. Often times I noticed in individual charts of people who are in a partnership, most often one partner had Pisces Moon or Rising, Mars in their Natal chart and the other person had Aries Moon, Aries Mars or Sun in their Natal chart. So a Pisces Moon in a man's chart points to a partner that is very sensitive. And if the woman has Aries Mars, again it points to a partner with extreme sensitivities.

🪐Mars in the 9th house native is VERY DECISIVE. They often had a highly opinionated father with very strong beliefs, opinions. So early on they were taught by the father that is not okay for them to be indecisive or not have an opinion on something. But what is interesting that the Mars in the 9th house individual is very indecisive throughout childhood, but grows up very decisive and opinionated later in adulthood.

🪐Sometimes with Lilith in the 9th house, you might not feel fully accepted by in-laws, so your partner's parents. Could encounter challenges here with them. Another thing I noticed here could also be either your partner's parents never take side with you. They always defend your partner, their child and not side with you, even when you're right. Or they paint YOU the bad guy and not their child, so your partner. Be mindful if you share any partnership troubles with your partner's parents since they might not grasp your perspective well.

🪐If you have Composite Capricorn Ascendant, connection that the two of you share, will receive A LOT of attention from the public. People will be highly curious about it and very focused on your connection. You will draw quite a lot of attention and people around you will be invested in your partnership.

🪐Scorpio Moon and Cancer over the 8th house might consider intimacy that you share your phone/social media password with them.

🪐 Pisces over the 4th house often points to the fact that someone else is paying your rent.

🪐 If you have Saturn in the 4th house, Capricorn over the 4th house your parents might pay your rent or buy you an apartment, a home.

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

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mae-gi-writes · 2 months ago

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let it be me | kuroo tetsurou (2)

In which you, as a new divorcée, can't help but crush on your 4-year-old's new PE Coach.

genre: singleparent!reader x coach! Kuroo, fluff, acquaintances-to-lovers

taglist: @patpatspatz @matchagirliris @multi-fandom-fanfic @alittlebirdahgaselx @kuroos--little--kitten @menacejelly12 @aeshiue @dreamlessnight @altheades @loonalockley @not-your-average-fangirl @bertqut1 @sunlixfl-blog @nabboo007

a/n: enjoy! <3 thanks for all the love given to the first part of this story! here's the second part. Third part is coming soon ~

---- previous | part two | next part >>>

"He can't be serious."

You sigh and watch the wine in your glass slosh around, creating beautiful patterns along the rim of your glass, "unfortunately, I think he is."

Your cousin has on an expression you can't quite place, in-between disgust and pure confusion. He's at the microwave, busy heating up some popcorn. Having adamantly asked you to sit on his couch while taking care of the snacks, you thus decided to watch Sakura play with her legos along the carpet, keeping a watchful eye in case one might end up in her mouth.

"He's only marrying her for the money," is what he concludes after a small pause.

You snort into your glass, take a sip of it and allow the bitterness to coat your tongue, "I wish that were true."

"How would you know that?"

" 'Tsumu, is it written stupid on my forehead?" your own wrinkles in distaste, "I see the way he looks at her. He's--" you choke on your words then, the knot in your throat growing tenfold, "--he's in love with her."

"Who is in love, mum?"

"No one at all," you're quick to answer upon noticing Sakura has been listening in. She normally doesn't, a kid that enjoys staring off into space and conjuring make-believe stories, where there's magic and only happy endings. You try and force a smile onto your face, "how's the house construction for Princess Peach going?"

Your daughter lets out a laugh as she presents to you a square that looks nothing like a house. Still, you coo at it, "so pretty! I bet princess peach would love it."

Your conversation with Atsumu has to wait until Sakura is tucked away in her uncle's bedroom and has listened to three stories about princesses, before you manage to join him back onto the couch where he's busy watching a rerun of volleyball matches.

You don't get to see him much now, courtesy of the fact that he's a national athlete and has been booked at the big games representing Japan. You couldn't be prouder, and yet his permanent absence does still leave a big hole in your heart whenever he flies over a thousand miles. Atsumu had been your rock since you guys were kids, defending you on the school playground and dragging you around to parties and birthdays without your consent. He'd taken care of you as a big brother would and he still is. You don't know how to repay this kind of kindness.

You're just thankful that he has one week off so that you can rant and ramble about the unfairness of the world. At least with Atsumu here, it appeases the pain, if just a little.

"Have you signed the papers yet?" he asks, handing you the bowl of popcorn.

You grab a handful, popping onto of them into your mouth as you answer, "not yet."

"You should ask him for alimony, at least."

"I'm not sure I'd win that, 'Tsumu."

"Still," his nose wrinkles in distaste, "this feels unfair. And why are you the one taking care of Sakura on your own? And I don't mean the parenting part. What about the finances? Why can't he contribute?"

"Because he's a dick and he thinks he can get away with it," you're glad that the tv is providing a welcome distraction, for you can't bear to look into Atsumu's eyes, "I'm just going to sign it and be done with it. I don't want Sakura to suffer any longer. It's not fair on her, she barely sees him."

"Well maybe it's time you find someone else too, y/n."

Your thoughts suddenly flash to Kuroo's beautiful smile and you have to physically force yourself to keep from grinning. You can feel the heat from the back of your neck and come up with the excuse that it's still too early and that Sakura wouldn't like her world shattering just for your happiness.

But it seems that Atsumu knows you better than that, for he asks, "are you blushing?"

"Wha--" Panic skitters through you, "no. No, why would I blush?"

His eyebrows raise, "you’ve met someone then?"

"N--No. Not at all. It's--" you realize you're blundering when his smile widens slightly, "it's not like that."

"So who's the lucky guy?"

"Atsumu."

"Y/N," his eyes glisten with playfulness and he nudges your shoulder, "c'mon. Tell me!"

You let out another breath and mumble, "He’'s not someone I met. He's...Just someone I know."

"And how do you know him?"

"He's Sakura's PE coach."

Atsumu lets out a whistle, "well that--" he shakes his head, "--that's not what I imagined at all."

"Shut up."

"So you like him?"

"It's not--It's really not like that. I--" you try and rack your brain for anything to say because this is really embarrassing. Who has a crush at the age of twenty-nine? Practically all of your friends are already married and have kids, talk about husband problems and how they wish for their youth back. And you? Here you are, thinking you might have a crush. You're no better than a middle school girl.

Which is why you say, "I don't even know him."

"You just think he's cute?"

"Precisely. But there are a lot of cute guys. It doesn't mean anything."

“Right,” Atsumu lets out a breath before he leans back into the couch, “but you know what I think?”

You hum in response.

“I think you should get laid—“

You almost spit out your wine in shock, gape at him in horror, “Atsumu!”

Again, your brain goes into overdrive at the thought of Kuroo and his sweaty chest, the breadth of his shoulders, the way he just towers over your small frame…

NO! You slam onto your mental brakes and shake your head, “you’re disgusting.” You spit out.

“I’m telling the truth princess. I really believe in the power of s—“

“Don’t—“ you cut him off with a raised palm, “don’t even say it.”

“So tell me,” Atsumu proceeds to wriggle his brows suggestively which makes it even harder to stop the blush igniting along your face, “this guy, how handsome is he? Must be pretty good-looking for you to be blushing like that.”

“Shut up ‘Tsumu, it’s not like that at all. Just stop. He's like--half of my age."

“Alright alright,” he laughs his deep-bellied laughter and wraps an arm around you in a gentle, comforting hug, “but if ever you do get lais with him, you gotta tell me.”

“Mum, what does ‘getting laid’ mean?”

“Oh!” Your head snaps to the doorway only to see your daughter all sleepy-eyed and clutching a spare pillow.

“Sakura!” You scramble to over, casting your cousin a scowl as you do, “c’mon, sweetie. Let’s get you back to bed.”

You hear Atsumu’s laughter follow you all the way to the bedroom.

————

It’s weird when Sakura isn’t around.

It’s almost like you’ve lost your purpose. But then again, you should be taking advantage of this right? That’s what everyone keeps telling you.

But alas, something in you cannot just let yourself rest for fear that your thoughts may go into a black hole of what ifs and images of Sakura with your ex-husband’s wife —well, almost ex-husband— and thus decide to take on a last-minute order.

It’s a simple enough request— a birthday cake. While you usually plan events from A to Z, this order merely requested a cake of any kind. So that’s how you spend your Saturday morning — creating a dough and sugar decorations that would fit into the theme of “Halloween”, as per what your client has asked.

You drive up to the pin location around four in the afternoon, strolling through the streets until the google maps signals you that you’ve arrived to your destination. Turning off the ignition at the said house — a beautiful Victorian home adorned with columns twice your height and size — you open your door only to come face to face with a familiar pair of golden eyes.

“Coach?”

“Kosuke-san?”

You both stare. And stare.

It’s shock that comes first. Before realization slaps you in the face, “oh!” You quickly bow in hopes that you haven’t been staring too long, “good afternoon, Coach. What—What brings you here?”

"Kosuke-san," he bows and looks just as surprised as you are, before he notices the way you're struggling to juggle to cake in your arms, "here, let me help you."

Without hesitation, he opens the door a bit wider and closes the gap between you, lifting the box from your arms, "jeez how heavy is this thing?"

You let out a small laugh, "it's all the icing sugar."

"Come in," he gestures with his chin for you to follow and as you step into the threshold he continues, "so when you said you were an event planner--I didn't expect you to be a cake designer too."

"It's an extra service I provide," you shrug, "I'm a patissier by career. Event planning is just something that keeps the cash flowing."

Kuroo pauses in mid-step then, "you're a patissier?"

"Yeah. Well, I was," you chuckle, "but anyway, it's been a while since I've baked now. So I hope it's just as good as you expect it to be."

Kuroo opens his mouth only to be cut off by a horde of boys stumbling into what appears to be the kitchen area. Now that you have a better look, it's all white marble and golden taps and golden handles on every piece of furniture to match. In any case, this house screams of money and for a minute, you feel a bit small and insignificant in your stained-flour blouse, the splotches of paint across your faded out jeans, courtesy of Sakura's art skills.

"You must be y/n!" one of the boys detaches himself. His orange hair glistens in the sun streaming through the window and he's a bit shorter than Kuroo. He beams at you and you can't help but be reminded of a puppy, "thanks for taking my order on such a short notice!"

"No worries at all. You must be...Hinata?"

"Yes!" he shakes your hand, "so I see you've met Kuroo! He's one of my best mates! We used to play against each other back in high school."

"Really now?" you quirk a brow in Kuroo's direction, watching the muscles of his arms ripple as he places the cake in an orderly manner inside the fridge. His voice is muffled when he replies, "yeah, he's the midget that made us jump for our lives. I hated him."

"You're just sour because you lost that one time," Hinata pouts, "but anyway, this is the rest of the ex-team!"

And so that's how you get a round of names that you will probably forget in five minutes and Kuroo, having seen the confusion in your eyes, can't help but laugh to himself because the sight is somewhat adorable. And he knows he shouldn't find it, he knows you're off limits because first, you're a mom from the school and two, you're married and have a kid. It's definitely not at all appropriate for his eyes to be roaming over your curves or to linger over the light glittering in your eyes.

Get a hold of yourself, he mentally whacks the back of his head.

“Where’s the little munchkin?” Kuroo asks you once you’re all settled after having been wheedled by Hinata to stay (“please please please you did such a great job on the cake” is what he’d begged). You’re now perched onto a plush lounge chair, a mixture of juice and vodka in your hand and watching the nth match of pingpong between someone whose name you forget and the other whose name sounds like Daichi. Though yoj might be wrong.

You’re glad for Kuroo’s presence, for even if he is a stranger, he still feels familiar to you right now in this setting.

“Sakura’s with her father today,” you explain with a slight smile in hopes it doesn’t give any of that bitterness away.

Kuroo opens his mouth like he wants so say something — anything— but you beat him to it, “we’re not together. Not anymore.”

His eyes widen with realization and you see it, the way he’s putting all the puzzle pieces together, “I’m sorry to hear,” is what he finally musters.

“Nothing be to be sorry about.”

“So… the name Kosuke…”

“Is my maiden name,” you reply, “I’ve never changed names. Looking back, I think I’ve done the right thing.”

Kuroo isn’t sure whether he should be mad for you or hurt in your place. After all, who in their right mind would leave their wife and their toddler daughter?

He deals with little kids every day, so he knows exactly what they’re like on a daily basis, and it’s not easy.

“I’m sorry,” it seems that’s the only thing he knows how to say.

“Really,” you laugh at him, “how can you be sorry when it’s not even your fault?”

Kuroo shrugs and grins bashfully because yes, it’s true and he still doesn’t know what to say. So he decides to ask, “And Sakura… how is she?”

“She doesn’t realize it. She’s too young,” your smile fades slightly, “in a way, I hope that’s a good sign.”

His heart clenches at the thought of you raising this kid alone. He can’t even imagine it. It makes sympathy swim inside his chest like an ache he can’t quite ignore. The look on your face suggests that you’ve been let down and he has the sudden impulse to tell you that everything will be alright, will be okay.

But he can’t do that. You’ll think of him as a creep. So he bites his tongue and look away instead, at the war of pingpong ongoing between his two friends. In a way, he’s glad for the distraction as he sips on his beer.

“And you?” Your voice piping up surprises him. His eyes flit back to your face. You continue, “married? Engaged?”

Kuroo’s throat bobs as he chuckles, “no. None of that.”

“How come?” You take a sip of your cocktail, “you don’t seem like the type to wound up alone with a hundred cats.”

“No no,” he can’t help but laugh because one, you’re hella attractive to him; tiny and frail and looking like he can fit you in a box no problem and two; you’re actually entertaining to be around. Something that he’s found lacking in his previous dates, “I just didn’t find anyone special yet.”

“Well there's no rush,” you lift your cocktail as you speak, “and anyway, you’re still young. You should enjoy it while you can.”

“Young?” Kuroo’s face breaks into a grin as his golden orbs glimmer down at you, amused, “how old do you think I am?”

"Uhm--I don't know. Early twenties?"

"I'm twenty-five," he gives you a look, "how old are you?"

"Twenty-eight. Going on twenty-nine."

"You look like you've just gotten out of college though," Kuroo's smirk is visible even behind his beer as he chugs down most of his drink, "if I didn't know better, I'd say you and Sakura were sisters."

"Not even," you retort, "And excuse me, but you look younger than twenty-five."

"I make up for it in height," he peers down at you, "but I suppose you wouldn't understand that considering--"

Your arm whacks at his shoulder before you know it. A playful gesture surely, but one that you don't really use on your daughter's teachers. Let alone ones that have bulging muscles and a figure to die for. You stare at your hand for a long minute, your brain going blank, before your eyes whip up to his and horror seeps into your gaze.

"Oh my god!" you screech and recoil like he's the one that had slapped you, "I'm so sorry, I--It's just--automatic you know, my cousin--he's got the same humor and--well I--I'm really sorry--"

The guffaw that leaves Kuroo's mouth is so loud that it causes heads to turn, even the ones invested in the ping pong game. He bends over while holding his stomach and the initial panic that you have wears off upon seeing him look so joyously happy. You can't help but chuckle along.

"What?" you say when he's regained most of his breath, "what's so funny?"

"You are," he grins, before it turns mischievous, "senpai."

"Hey--now that's going a bit too far!"

You're not quite sure what time you get home that night. But you do know that you've gone to sleep with a smile on your face.

————

"Kuroo sensei! He stole my ball!"

A typical Monday morning where Kuroo is busy surveilling the fifth graders as they decided to play basketball during their free time. He's not one to deny such requests, actually enjoys watching them play and seeing them grow day by day, developing their techniques. But to say that he's a bit in the clouds would be an understatement.

"Kuroo sensei!"

He finally snaps back to reality. Blinks down at the tiny boy with the biggest scowl he's ever seen yet, "yes I'm sorry. What's wrong?"

"He stole my ball!" the young boy points at one of the chubby classmates who seems quite content in playing by himself, "and now he's saying that it was his!"

Kuroo can't help but raise a brow. He's taught that class before, knows exactly that the chubby little kid doesn't have that many friends, including the boy standing before him.

"I don't think he stole your ball."

It's a bold statement, but from the way the tiny student squirms and averts his gaze, Kuroo believes he is right, "but--but he did! He really did steal my ball!"

"I have an idea," Kuroo bends down to his height, not able to restrain the grin along his face at the pout forming on the student's lips, "why don't you go and play with him? He seems a bit lonely."

"Yeah that's because he never talks to anyone in class."

"Then why don't you be the first? hm?" he nudges the boy's shoulder, "show your class a good example. Come on."

With a bit more reassurance, the said student goes over and Kuroo watches fondly as the two exchange awkward greetings before the chubby student nods his head, glancing at his PE coach like he'd just dropped a bomb.

Five minutes later, they're playing together like best friends.

And Kuroo goes back to daydreaming.

He's not usually like this. So out of it, so inside his own head that he can't see the outside world. But ever since that party he's been wondering when's the next time he'd get to see you, to talk to you. Not just as Sakura's mum but as someone, maybe a friend. He's addicted to the way your eyes curve up before your lips are even drawn into a smile, like you're sharing a special secret with him before the world gets a flash of blinding white teeth. He enjoys watching you move about because you're just so tiny, holding cups with two hands and always having to tiptoe about to find stuff. But most of all, that conversation with you had him dreaming of more. He wants to know you, that initial curiosity turning to what he'd define as stupid infatuation.

Yes, Kuroo Tetsurou has a crush, and he's not quite sure how to feel about it.

"--Earth to Kuroo?"

He blinks. In front of him stands his colleague and friend Bokuto. Having faced each other off countlessly during their high school days, it was a miracle and lovely surprise to see him at the new year induction. Since then, they’d been a constant pair inside the school walls and creating assignments, organizing and coordinating events had never been so fun.

“Sorry,” he mumbles and rubs a hand over his face.

“You look like death, mate,” Bokuto leans on the fencing that separates the courts from the building, “why the long face?”

“Haven’t slept well,” Kuroo says, but he knows he’s not convincing when Bokuto’s eyebrows raise in question.

“You? Firm believer of 10hrs of sleep every day?” His friend shakes his head, “no way. Tell me what happened. What’s got you looking so dazed?”

“It’s noth—“ he halts. Maybe he can find some advice? Bokuto’s known for being a badass romantic after all. Maybe he can have something wise to say.

Like tell Kuroo you’re way out of his league and— what the hell is he even thinking, dating someone’s mom? Someone older than him, at that?

The words burst out of his mouth without warning:

“I think I like someone.”

Bokuto merely blinks. His face lights up, “well that explains it. Who?”

Kuroo’s arm swings to the back to scratch his neck, “it’s… one of the student’s mom’s.”

The last few words are said in a mumble, causing Bokuto to lean into his friend with a wide-eyed gaze, surprise flitting across his face when he realizes what Kuroo has just said.

“No,” the grey-haired man’s mouth turns into an “o” as he stares his friend down, “no way. Who?”

“I don’t think you know her. Sakura Kosuke?” Kuroo prompts.

“Sakura Kosuke…” Bokuto shakes his head in thought, “haven’t heard of that one. But—-Kuroo! I thought older women weren’t your style!”

“She’s not that old,” Kuroo’s face flames, “only by three years.”

"Who would've thought," Bokuto breathes out with a chuckle when a thought suddenly occurs to him, "wait-- it's not the chick who came by with the cake last weekend?"

Kuroo nods and awkwardly clears his throat, "yeah, the very same."

"Ha! If only I knew! I would've done my best to set you up!"

"It's not funny!"

But now that Bokuto has some leverage of information, he's definitely not going to let it go and Kuroo kind of regrets spilling the beans to him, of all people. That, and the probably fact that he’ll be spreading this news like wildfire across their friend group.

Thankfully, Kuroo’s schedule makes it that it’s hard to think about anything but work since midterm season is approaching for his other primary school colleagues. There’s after-school shows and events for every single activity and since he’s being asked to help for every single thing (because he’s the preschool teacher and, yeah! How come you don’t have any events planned for your preschoolers?!). Which means that he doesn’t have actual time to think about you, not even when he’s finally home and mustering up enough strength to brush his teeth, take a shower and dump himself in bed.

He does, however, collide head-first into you one week day as you’re hurrying out of the principal’s office, looking flustered and red-faced.

“Kosuke-san,” he takes a longing glance your rosy cheeks and felt his hand tingle with want. Just to see if it’s as soft as he imagines it to be? “You okay?”

“Kuroo sensei,” you run a hand through your locks and causing your hair to get even more disheveled, “hi, sorry— how are you? It’s been a while.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You’re looking a bit more greenish now that he sees you in the light.

“Yes I—“ your hands flutter up before you in an attempt to find an explanation, “—just came back from a meeting with Sakura’s teacher.”

“Oh?” Kuroo frowns, “what—nothing bad, I hope?”

“It’s just—well,” you try to chuckle but it comes out like a whimper, “apparently she got into a fight with one of the other girls in her class. Got a few injuries herself so…”

Your eyes are wet and it seems you’re half a second away from a breakdown. So it’s only natural for Kuroo to take a few steps closer to you before he whispers a soft, “hey hey, you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m sorry,” you take a shaky breath, “it’s just been a long, hard morning.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo bites onto his lower lip, not sure what to do to make things better as he watches your chest move up and down in staggered breaths.

That’s when an idea hits him. He makes a grab for the back of your elbow and the smallness, the thinness of your limb takes him be surprise as he steers you out of the corridor.

And when your wide eyes flutter up to his, he quickly says something along the lines of, “I know a place. It’ll make you feel better.”

That’s how he finds himself dragging you to the nearby coffee place he always frequents— called Espresso Block— a small vintage bakery run by none other than his good friend Osamu Miya, as part of his expansion branch from his onigiri restaurants.

"Y/N!" Osamu greets as soon as he spots your face trailing behind Kuroo's tall figure. He pushes the raven-haired man aside with impatience before sauntering over and wrapping you up in a bear hug.

"Osamu," you breathe in the scent of baked croissants lingering on his uniform, "you're choking me."

"Oh--sorry," he drops you and grins sheepishly, that is before he registers that you're together with one of his friends, causing his eyes to narrow, "how do you two know each other?"

"Kosuke-san is Sakura's mother and she was having a bad day," Kuroo explains before he turns to you, "how do you know him?"

Did you imagine the five-second frostiness that came from his tone? Maybe not, as you reply, "he's my cousin. We grew up together. I taught him how to play volleyball back in primary school."

Kuroo's relief is instant. Thank god, it's not a close friend, nor is it a romantic partner candidate. His mood brightens instantly and without further ado he proceeds to lead you towards a table in the back.

He doesn’t fail to ignore the way Osamu’s eyes are following him all the way back to his table as he carries the two drinks — strawberry latte for him and a black coffee for you — and Kuroo can just hope that his dear friend can keep his distance until you've gone.

Becayse he's quite certain he will be subject to interrogation. Especially if you're that close to Osamu.

Placing the tray on the table, he takes out the mug and pushes it into your hands before finding his seat opposite you. You grab the cup between your two palms and take a deep breath as Kuroo sips on his latte.

The sweetness of the strawberry never disappoints. It’s refreshing and brings a smile to his lips. Osamu sure knows his desserts.

“I'm really sorry about what happened earlier," you seem to have composed yourself from earlier. You take a small sip of your coffee and Kuroo watches in amusement as you shudder.

"Do you want some milk with that?" he can't help but ask.

You nod and look shameful, and Kuroo's heart squeezes with sympathy. Your eyes are tinged with aprons of blue and there are tired lines lining your eyes and the corners of your mouth. It's only when he comes back -- from having gotten some steamed milk from Osamu and a suggestive wink to match -- you dip your head into a nod and mumble out a soft 'thanks', eyes glued to the way the dark brown turned into a creamy latte.

"You could've asked me for a latte," Kuroo smiled to show that he didn't mind at all. But you winced.

"I'm sorry--"

"Don't say sorry," he softened, "just--next time, you can tell me what you want, Kosuke-san. I'm not here to bite you...unless you want me to."

Your eyes flit up to his in surprise and Kuroo pinks at his words. They'd just slipped out on their own. It's not like he'd wanted to sound flirty when you're looking all shaky and worse for wear. He quickly clear his throat and tries to change the subject, "how are Sakura's injuries?"

"She's fine, got herself a bruised lip."

His eyebrows raise in surprise, "woah, that's still something."

"Yeah," you mutter and take another sip. And then another, "I hope this doesn't become a habit."

"I've taught Sakura since the start of this semester," Kuroo leans forward, elbows propped onto the table, "and I can tell you--she's anything but violent."

"I really hope you're right about this. I can't have her running around beating up everyone."

Kuroo stifled a small laugh, "to be honest, I think it's good she knows how to defend herself."

You shoot him a look and he can't help but laugh. And it's so contagious, the way it booms out of him like a melody, that you cannot restrain yourself from joining in.

"You're right," you say in-between chuckles.

"Maybe she got her mom's feisty spirit," Kuroo adds.

"No way. I was as silent as a mouse," you retort, "if she got anything like that, it's probably from her father's--"

You halt in mid-conversation, wanting to bite down your tongue for even mentioning him and quickly flash Kuroo a bashful smile in hopes he'll just brush it off, "sorry, let's not talk about him--"

"Kosuke-san, you really have to stop saying sorry all the time," Kuroo says with a grin, "it's not healthy."

"I know, I'm--" you catch yourself and he bursts out laughing once more at your face, "don't say it! No matter what!" he chides.

"Stop--" but you're grinning from ear to ear, cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling, "--Kuroo sensei, I hope you're not as playful with your students or they'd never learn anything from you."

"Course not," he winks, "I keep that solely for the pretty ladies."

His suggestive tone makes you blush despite it all and you look down at your coffee with the blush blazing so hard across your cheeks you swear everyone can see its colour from afar.

"I don't know how it is at home though," Kuroo's voice brings you out of your small bubble of warmth, "it must be tough handling Sakura all alone. Do you ever take a break?"

"Well, she goes to see her dad ever two weeks. But other than that, she's always with me unless my parents decide to come over. Which isn't as often as I would like."

"Why's that?"

"They live in the countryside and have a farm. It's hard for them to take days off, and I don't blame them not wanting to be around," your voice lowers to a mutter at the last few words, "especially after what happened with the marriage and all..."

"Marriages fail every time," Kuroo says gently then, "that too, isn't your fault."

"I wish my parents believed that," you let out a small laugh, "but they're right. We were too young to get married."

"But you have Sakura right? Isn't she worth it?"

His eyes, golden flecked and filled with so much hope and softness, meet yours from across the table. You suddenly feel a bit hot in your seat, wanting to squirm as you quickly look away from Kuroo's gaze because dear god, it's almost like he's ripping away, ripping apart every single layer of self-protection and preservation and reading you out like an open book.

"You're right," you clear your throat upon realizing he'd still been waiting for your response, "she is worth every single second. I wouldn't change anything about what happened. I just--I wish my parents could see it that way too."

"I think you spend a little too much time stressing about things you can't control," Kuroo takes another sip of his latte, "how about you learn to let go a bit? Maybe take the day off? Go hiking?"

"With Sakura?" you shake your head, "impossible, I--"

"Surely you have someone that can take care of her while you're gone," he tilts his head, jaw resting into one of his hands and making him appear all the more handsome.

Your thoughts flash to Atsumu. He's right, you could technically take a day off by dropping Sakura with the blonde. But she's not his responsibility and Atsumu has other priorities in his life rather than hang out with his niece. But Kuroo's persistence is strong and he makes you -- practically orders you -- to text him when he connects the dots that you two are also family.

"That guy can learn a thing or two about being responsible anyway," grins Kuroo, "so I'm sure he won't mind."

————

How did you end up here?

That's the question you keep asking yourself -- even when you're busy picking out your clothes only to realize that you barely have anything that's worth 'party material', even when you're attempting to do your makeup even though it's been almost three (or four?) years since you've tried to look your best because Sakura's wellbeing always came first.

Even when you're strapping up your black ankle boots, the question is getting drilled into your brain like a broken mixtape as you wonder whether this is a good idea after all.

"Go," Atsumu is firm when you call him for the nth time. It's five minutes until Kuroo's supposed to pick you up and feeling the pressure on your shoulders, you quickly decide to call your cousin in an emergency, "you have to do it, y/n. Stop making this all about Sakura. You need to be happy too."

"I am happy," was what you'd mumbled out in the phone receiver. You don't realize how tightly you're gripping the phone, so tight that your knuckles have turned white.

"I know you are, but you'll be happier if you live for yourself. At least for one night," Atsumu responds, "and Sakura's safe with me. And if ever there's an issue I'll call Osamu first to--"

"What?! No! No you call me first, okay?"

"Y/n please just relax. It's supposed to be a fun night."

You slump against the wall in defeat, "I don't even know why I'm doing this," you mumble mostly to yourself, though you're certain he can hear it too, "there's no point trying to prove that I'm content with my life. There are things that are going to leave me unsatisfied. I'm--I was fine with that, really."

"Are you though?" your cousin's voice is accusatory this time, "you're ready to live just for Sakura? Making her happy will make you happy too? Is this how it's supposed to work?"

"Technically yes, I'm her mother--"

"--And you've been left behind!"

The words are like a slap. You bite down onto your lower lip.

It draws blood.

You hiss, sucking on the skin as the metallic taste hits your tongue.

In truth, Atsumu has a point. You can't just live to make Sakura happy because that will ultimately destroy you. Not because she's not the only thing you need in your life. But because despite having your little girl being the center of your world, despite being able to sustain her with your career, you still feel like it's just yesterday when Aoi had upped and left you. His excuses, as pathetic as they had been, were arrows shooting straight into your heart. He left you crying into your pillow that night, hovering over your figure until you'd told him to 'get lost or I'll call the cops on you' before curling up on the small couch that you'd gotten rid of once he'd moved out for good.

So much pain. So much pain and haunted nights and obstacles that had come your way. That, along with caring for Sakura, had been a big hurdle. You remembered the long mornings, how hard it had been to drag yourself out of bed for the first few days. Atsumu had volunteered to stay with you then, giving you all the support you needed until you'd had enough strength to get back on your feet.

So he knew exactly what you'd gone through. Had seen it all first-hand. He wasn't kidding when he said you really needed to get laid. Somehow, he seems to have a valid point.

But it's been so long since you've left the dating scene that the thought of it makes you want to vomit.

"I'm sorry y/n, that wasn't cool." Atsumu's voice flows through the receiver like a lullaby and you take a deep, staggering breath, "I just--I know how hard it's been pulling your weight and caring for Sakura. It practically consumed your entire life. It's about time you get that motherfucker back for screwing things up--"

"Language," you tsk at him.

"You know what I mean," he replies impatiently, "So go out there, have fun. Get smashed. And at least do something to make you happy for a change. Alright?"

"Yeah okay," you mumble.

"And plus, you're with a bunch of guys that I know. They're cool. They'll keep an eye on you."

"Thanks mom."

"Anytime hun."

You can't help but giggle before you hear a car pulling up outside, "alright. I think my ride's here."

"Yeah, try to get laid okay--"

"Atsumu!" your cheeks flame, "I hope you're not saying all this in front of Sakura!"

A burst of laughter echoes from the receiver, "don't worry, miss Sakura is asleep. Have fun y/n! Take pictures!"

The drive there is less awkward than you'd imagined it to be, despite the fact that Kuroo's get-up does make your mouth salivate. And not just you. You realize a bunch of girls have him on their radar, from the stolen glances driven his way as you follow his broad back out of the parking and into the small terrace-looking entrance flanked by colored glowing palm trees.

"I haven't been in a club for like four years," you confess to him as you trudge into the queue. The air smells like cigarette and smoke. And something else. Something dangerous. It makes you giddy, you realize.

"Four years?" his eyes grow round as he looks down at you, "you have drunk before right? To the brink of passing out?"

"Like...maybe four years ago?"

His mouth opens, then closes. He shakes his head, a smile curving at the edges of his lips, "remind me not to drown you with tequila."

"I'll try my best."

You meet the rest of the gang upon stumbling into the club. It's dark and pulsating with music, with two dance floors separated by the DJ stationed on a platform right in the middle. Lights are bouncing off the space like crazy and all around you are moving bodies that writh and mold together until you're not sure where one ends and the other begins.

“Y/N! You’re here!” A drunk Hinata hooks an arm around your shoulder before steering you towards the bar, “you’re just in time! We were going for a round of lambos.”

“Lambos?” You balk and meet Kuroo’s eye, “you mean— Lamborgini’s?”

“Hell yeah!” Another one of the guys chimes in. It’s almost comical, the way they’re all stumbling against each other as you move like a congregation until you’re straight up in front of the barman.

“Ten Lambo’s please!” Hinata slams his card ontot he counter.

It brings back a wave of nostalgia, seeing the line of glasses and the way the bartender drops the alcohol in like he can do it with his eyes closed. You’re jostled and pressed against warm chests and shoulders, surrounded from all sides and yet, you feel safe with them all. That is, until you feel a soft brush against your elbow.

You turn to see Kuroo’s warm golden orbs.

“All okay?” He mouths to you.

You nod and give him a smile in return, and the grin that he cracks makes a troop of butterflies swoop into your stomach.

You look away just as Hinata thrusts a glass into your hands, “come y/n! This one’s on me!”

One shot becomes two. And two become three. Soon enough you find yourself on the dance floor and moving to the beat with one of the girls from the group— Yachi?— while the guys are trying to pay each other back their shots. The music vibrates through the floor up your body and flood your veins so that you get lost in it, ecstasy and the thrill of just being alive finally gushing through your brain, fogged up and amplified by the alcohol in your bloodstream.

It’s amazing. You feel free. Like nothing can stop you.

It’s honestly the best you’ve felt in a while.

After a while, you and Yachi decide to take a well-deserved break, stumbling over to the clustered seating space filled with red cushions as the boys scatter to find more alcohol. At this point you’re surprised that they’re still moving around and conscious, considering the amount they’ve drunk.

One of the boys— the one with the kind smile called Daichi— offers to get you guys some water as you take a seat, allowing your tired legs to take a break.

“I’m going to fine Hinata!” Yachi says into your ear and you nod before ushering her out of your way. There’s something between those two, a kind of tension that will develop into something more if they just allow it.

But you’re not one to meddle, not when your own love life’s a mess.

That’s when you notice.

It’s the lingering stare out of the corner of your peripheral that makes you turn your head.

Then you see him.

A tall, lanky man. He’s seated right opposite you, a drink in his hand and taking a swig. But there’s no mistake, for when his eyes meet yours across the room you can only jolt in shock.

You look away with embarrassment and disgust. Heat spreads to the back of your neck and goosebumps run up your arms. Suddenly, it’s a little too cold in this hot, sweaty club.

Why is he looking at you like that?

There’s no mistaking the intention. You risk one more glance and confirm that indeed, there’s a darkness in his eyes; the kind of a predator.

The kind that wants to strip you bare.

It’s unsetttling, unnerving.

Disgusting.

You don’t even hesitate. It’s like instinct for you jump off your seat with the only purpose to find Kuroo. But to your terror, the man starts to follow you. And soon enough it becomes a game of catch: of cat and mouse. You almost trip over your high heels as you push through the moving bodies as quickly as you can.

But the figure is there, hovering over you like a dark shadow that causes your heart to clench.

You bite back a whimper, pushing through a throng of girls as you frantically search for a sign of Kuroo’s familiar mop of hair. Or Hinata’s. Or just about anyone for that matter—

Bumping into a chest, you’re more than surprised as you let out a small yelp only to hear a familiar alto.

“Kosuke-san, everything alright?”

“K—Kuroo sensei,” your mumble is drowned in the beats of the music, eyes darting between his face and the dodgy man.

He’s now standing by the bar a few feet away from you. The same kind of withering stare that makes you wince.

Hurriedly, you turn to Kuroo and grip his shirt, wanting nothing more than to hide behind him, “I—uhm— there’s someone—“ the words jumble up as they pour out of your mouth and you find you can do nothing but grip his shirt for dear life, like Kuroo’s the only thing that can help you out of here.

Thankfully, he seems to understand your dilemma, for he puts a hand on your shoulder before steering you a little closer to him and away from the main path, a frown evident on his face, “what’s wrong Kosuke-san?”

But it’s only when he follows your fear-stricken eyes that Kuroo realizes there’s something — someone tormenting you. He recognizes the dark hunger, the prowling intent.

Instantly, his hand grips your waist. Tugs you closer.

You stumble into him, “Kuroo sensei—“

But Kuroo’s not having it. He stares the man down with a glower, longer body practically wrapped around yours in a protective embrace as he dares the man to do something, anything.

Try me, his eyes are saying, you’re not going to lay a single hand on her.

The stranger finally breaks eye contact after a few beats of silence and Kuroo keeps watch, golden eyes blazing until the man is nothing more but a memory of smoke as he disappears into the crowd.

Only then does he allow his hold to relax. Tilting down towards you. He murmurs out softly:

“He’s gone, Kosuke-san.”

You’re practically glued to him at this point, face buried in his chest and hands gripping so tightly onto his shirt that you might’ve grown claws. Kuroo nudges you gently once more, and that’s when you look up from the depths of his shirt.

The sight makes him almost coo because goddamnit even in the dim disco lights you look adorable. He has the sudden urge to pinch your cheeks and he’s glad his hands are somewhat occupied along your waist.

“You okay?” Is what he whispers.

You nod, looking a bit shaky and green int the face, “yeah—I’m—I’m fine. Thank you. He was—it scared me.”

“I know,” Kuroo draws away ever so slightly so he can have a better look at your face, “I’ll bring you home, alright?”

“No no it’s okay,” you shake your head and attempt a smile, but even Kuroo can see past those shaky lips, “you stay and have fun. I’ll call an Uber and—“

“Nonsense,” he grabs your elbow once more, “I’ll accompany you. C’mon.”

———

It’s definitely unnerving. It leaves you shaking with fear and you’re thankful for Kuroo’s strong grip on your arm as he maneuvers you out of the club.

The rush of cold wind hits your cheeks, leaving the soft beats of the club behind. Slowly, the world comes back into focus as the air rushes through your lungs and the sound bustling traffic in the distance is brought back into focus.

Only then do you realize how close you’re standing to the coach.

With a start, you stumble away with a muttered “sorry”, not daring to meet his eyes while quickly brushing off your clothes because dear god you weren’t sure what to do with your hands.

The uber arrives without much delay — thankfully — and the ride home is silent, almost as if there’s an awkward tension that has settled between the two of you. Away from the alcohol and now sobering up, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that you’d practically glued yourself to this man earlier. The act is so embarrassing you decidedly keep your gaze on the flurry of bustling streets and dim lamps flying by.

You don’t realize you’ve dozed off until a warm hand is shaking your shoulder, followed by a soft; “we’re here.”

You gasp, noticing that you’ve been pressed against Kuroo’s shoulder all this time.

“Oh,” you scramble away as quick as lightning, “I’m so sorry—“

His lips quirk upwards, “no harm done, senpai.”

You hate it when he calls you that. It makes you sound… old.

Nevertheless, you decide to be quiet as he accompanies you up to your flat, hands in his pockets while following you up the rusty stairs. You hope he’s not judging; it’s not like you have unlimited amounts of funding, what with Sakura’s education and activities.

“Well,” you finally reach the door to your flat and turn on your heel so that you face him, “thanks… for everything.”

"No problem," he's smiling down at you. Still so patient, still so happy to help. Your heart swells in your chest and you ask, "how are you getting back?"

"Oh, probably Uber..." he trails off, already turning away to fish his phone out of his pocket, "it's not far."

"Where do you live?"

You almost bawk when he tells you his address, because it's practically at the other end of town. He'll be there in forty-five minutes, at least.

The words are automatic, shooting out of you, "I'm so--"

But Kuroo's hand whips out, clamping over your lips. Your eyes widen as you look up at him, only to see the young man grinning like there's no tomorrow.

"You really need to stop doing that," he finally says before drawing back. Already, you're hit with the cold air following Kuroo's touch upon your skin, "I wanted to accompany you. There's nothing to apologize for."

"I know, but--"

He throws you another pointed look that has you clamping down on your mouth. You're about to say sorry once more because you're being a pathetic blubbery mess, but the look in his eyes makes you say a soft, "thank you" instead.

"You're welcome," and with one final grin and a wave to match, the school Coach disappears down the corridor, leaving you gazing at his broad back until his silhouette turns the corner and away from your sight.

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kp-alice · 3 months ago

Text

Prove Her Wrong

Summary: Yunho knew that what that stranger had said to him back then wasn't true. He quite literally had physical evidence to prove it. And yet, he couldn't help but think about her comment a little too often.

AKA a well-endowed-and-very-desperate!sub!Yunho x bored!dom!f!reader

Word count: 3 820

Warnings: small-dick humiliation, roleplaying (reader pretends to be bored and unsatisfied), degradation (but no name-calling), mid-scene checking in, just another case of me writing about pathetic Yunho because I can't help myself and definitely have issues

A/N: This fic is the third part of my sub!Yunho Kinktober 2024! The event's masterlist can be found here.

"...and then she told me 'I have no right to act like an overcompensating asshole just because my dick is small'."

"Ouch," you hissed empathetically. "Yeah, I can definitely see how that would hurt for a while, even if she was totally wrong."

"That's uh, that's the thing," Yunho retorted nervously, shifting in his spot, "I kinda, well, liked it? I guess? Like- not because of her saying it, but because of what she said, you know?"

The silence between the two of you stretched to an uncomfortable degree, making Yunho chuckle nervously. "It's not too weird, is it?"

"Hmm, no, it's definitely weird," you concluded at last, eyebrows furrowed.

"...But I'd love to learn more about it."

"Wait," you said, sitting up straight on the couch, "so I'm supposed to have sex with you, but like, act like your dick is small and it's not doing anything for me?"

Yunho's blush deepened at your words, curling into himself even further. "I mean, when you put it like that, it does sound really weird, I'm sorry."

"No, honey," you said, leaning over to place a comforting hand on his thigh, "I wasn't saying it to make fun of you, I just want to make sure I understand it all correctly so that I don't mess up when we eventually try it."

"We seriously don't have to, though," Yunho opposed, starting to backtrack now that the nerves had caught up to him again. "It really is quite odd, and the last thing I want to do is push your boundaries just to please me and my weird kinks."

You sighed. This wasn't the first time Yunho had gotten like this when it came to talking about his needs and wants. No matter how many times you'd try to reassure him that it's fine to ask for things, it always took just a short moment of uncertainty for him to begin retracting back into his shell. "Yu, I've already told you that I'm completely fine with trying it. Sure, it's not something I'd personally bring up, but I'm not opposed to it either. Who knows, maybe I'll also end up liking it? Either way, I'm really not pushing myself to do anything, nor am I planning to do so. Just trust me, okay?"

"Okay," Yunho finally conceded, giving you a small smile. His hand found yours on his thigh, grasping it gently. "Thank you."

"Anytime, love," you smiled back, rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand. "Now, how about you elaborate on your little fantasy a bit more, hm? I need to know all of what I'm going to do to you."

A shiver ran down Yunho's spine at the words, visible excitement lighting up his eyes.

"Oh, we're going to be here a while."

After an open conversation or two with your boyfriend, you were finally ready to indulge him.

Yunho didn't want to set a specific date, though, feeling as though it would make the scene too staged and unnatural. So, instead, the two of you decided to just wait and use a non-verbal signal. If Yunho were to initiate sex while wearing a specific small blue bracelet, it was your sign to start the play if you felt up for it.

There were a couple false alarms of sorts, where Yunho would wear the bracelet the whole day, but would never actually gather the courage to initiate. You knew this was something that might happen, and yet you couldn't help the small twinge of disappointment whenever you went to bed with nothing from his side. You also suspect he might have worn it at least once just to tease you, but you didn't dare ask.

Then, it was your turn to decline a couple times. It wasn't payback for Yunho's nervousness in any way, obviously. It just so happened that the first two times when he'd tried to finally initiate, you were either not in the mood in general, or were up for something more soft and loving. And just as you had with him before, Yunho also completely understood your preferences, boundaries, and pace.

But then, one fateful night, things were finally put into motion.

You were lounging on the couch, watching TV while mindlessly scrolling on your phone. Yunho wasn't home yet, having to stay at work longer than expected today. You wouldn't have to wait much more, however, as you heard the front door opening just a few moments later.

Already from the sound of his heavy footsteps trudging down the hallway, you could tell he was tired. Then, a small thud resonated through the living room, making you sit up and look behind you.

There, Yunho slouched against the doorway, pouty and puppy-eyed. His hair was disheveled, likely from running his hands through it countless times from all the extra stress today.

"Hey there, love," you said warmly, turning his pout into a small smile.

"Hey," he replied sluggishly before pushing himself upright again to take off his jacket.

Which, to your surprise, revealed the blue bracelet.

If Yunho noticed the interested twinkle in your eyes, he didn't show it. Instead, he turned around, walking back to the front door to hang his jacket up next to yours. Afterwards, he wordlessly disappeared into the bathroom, likely to freshen up a bit after the awfully long day.

"Are you hungry?" You asked, watching him walk back into the room a few minutes later. "There's some leftovers from dinner if you want."

Yunho just hummed in disagreement, the pout from before returning to his lips. "'m not hungry."

"What can I do for you, then? What do you need?" You questioned further, scooting back to give him some room to sit down.

To your surprise (not really), he ignored the space you'd made for him, choosing to dive right into your arms instead. You huffed as he lay down on top of you, burying his face in your chest and wrapping his arms around you.

"You," he finally muttered, squeezing you just a bit tighter in his hold.

"Me? What do you mean?" You asked back, pretending like you couldn't already feel the slightest pressure against your thigh. Did he really rile himself up just thinking about his fantasy on the way home?

"Babe, please," he pleaded, an embarrassed whine to his voice, "you know what I mean."

Usually, you'd be satisfied with just a bit of teasing. A moment of playfulness before you'd get to the main event. But today? Today you wanted- no, needed, to truly savor the moment, both for your and Yunho's sake.

"I really don't, honey," you feigned ignorance, running your fingers through his hair with a mischievous smile on your face. "I'm afraid you're gonna have to tell me yourself."

And judging by the deep red visible on his cheeks even with his face hidden, you knew it was working for him as well.

"I just- I really need you right now," Yunho said, voice already wavering from the delicious anxiousness of being so small before you. "Y-you know, like, to be... inside you."

You chuckled at that, jostling your boyfriend's head a bit with the movement. "Ah, of course. It hasn't even been two days since you've last gotten off and you already wanna go again, huh?"

Yunho just meekly nodded, trying to bury his head further into you.

"I mean, I don't blame you, honey, but what's in it for me?"

Your question wasn't too direct just yet, still giving him some leeway to stop in case he felt uncomfortable or not ready.

But, much to your amusement, Yunho made no such attempt.

"Oh! W-well, I'll make you feel good too, obviously!" He promised, lifting his head up to look at you with hopeful eyes. "I always do."

You let out a loud laugh at that, making his face twist in confusion. "What?! You can't be serious right now."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Yunho asked in a shaky, uncertain voice, but the twitch against your thigh betrayed his real feelings.

"You seriously think fucking that small dick of yours is doing anything for me?" You ridiculed him, eyes wide in disbelief. "Why do you think I always ask you to eat me out after you're done? Even that tongue of yours feels bigger in me."

Truth be told, it wasn't you who usually asked for oral. Whether during, before, or after having "proper" sex, it was mainly Yunho who'd turn to you with hopeful eyes and an eager smile. But there's nothing wrong with a bit of fact-twisting for the sake of roleplay, right?

Your slight uncertainty was immediately solved with a choked moan from Yunho, along with a stuttered thrust against your leg. You could feel all of him through his pants now, dragging up and down your thigh with just enough pressure.

"P-please, babe," Yunho began again, gaze blurring into something more distant yet content. "I'll do anything to please you afterwards, but I'm so hard I don't think I can wait any longer."

"Wait," you said in fake awe, "you're hard right now? I can't even feel you against me! Are you sure you can actually stay inside with that?"

"Fuck," Yunho whimpered at your words, brows tightly knit together, "you're way too good at this."

You chuckled at his admission, breaking your mocking persona for a moment. "I'm glad you think so, hun." Lifting a hand to caress his cheek, you made him look into your eyes. "You're still okay with all of this, right?"

Yunho immediately nodded at your question, eager to reassure you. "Yes, please. This is better than anything I've ever imagined."

Feeling an almost embarrassing level of pride at the praise, you resumed your role with newfound excitement.

"You know what?" You spoke up again, challenging him with your unwavering stare. "I'll let you have your fun."

Yunho didn't need anything beyond that, diving into the crook of your neck the second you finished your sentence. You couldn't help the gasp leaving your lips at the sensation, Yunho's precision at finding your sweet spot catching you way too off-guard.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Yunho muttered lovingly, letting his hands roam free alongside your curves while he rutted against your thigh again.

His movements were halted, however, when a sharp sting shot up his scalp from where your fingers tugged at his hair, pulling him away from your neck.

"But," you continued, suppressing a mean smile, "you have to make me cum first, since you're so confident in your abilities."

You could see all the eagerness fall from Yunho's face and morph into a look of nervousness and uncertainty. Normally, Yunho would have no problem making you cum whichever way you wanted, but now, he knew it wouldn't be so easy. Your eyes screamed determination, excited to see him slip up and embarrass himself even further.

"I- I, uh- yeah! Sure, of course," Yunho finally replied, though the confident facade he tried to put on broke rather quickly.

You sighed, feigning complete disinterest as if you already knew what the outcome would be anyway. "Fine, go ahead then. Let's see how much magic you can conjure up with that tiny dick."

The two seconds of silence that followed after your sentence were broken by a chuckle from Yunho, making you join in as well.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I know that was supposed to be hot - and it was, but it was also pretty funny."

"Shut up," you retorted, annoyed, though you couldn't hide your own amusement. Fighting back the shy blush on your cheeks, you continued, "and get back to work. You have a lot to prove right now."

"Yes, ma'am," Yunho muttered, re-focusing on the task at hand. He crawled backwards on the couch, giving him just enough space to take off your sweatpants and underwear, ignoring the damp spot in the middle. Seems like he wasn't the only one enjoying this.

He then removed his own pants and boxers, making you scoff. "Are you seriously so horny you can't even take off my shirt as well? You're so pathetic."

Yunho whined at the delicious sting of your words, crawling back up to settle between your legs. Just as he'd told you, he was already rock hard, pent-up from daydreaming about this exact scenario the whole day. Today was going to be the day, he just knew it. And now that it was actually happening, not to mention how you seemed to like it as well? He was almost shaking with excitement.

"Don't even bother with prep," you said unenthusiastically, reaching over to the coffee table to grab your phone again. "There's no need to prepare for something that small."

Yunho's movements stuttered for a second at your words, unsure of how to proceed. You usually liked it when he'd take his time and warm you up to his size, but now you were telling him to just skip it and go right to the main event. Well, guess he's going to have to trust your judgment.

"It's not even that small," Yunho tried to argue, fumbling with his erection to line himself up properly, "just wait, I'll show you how good I can make you feel."

You looked up from the phone in your hand (you couldn't really focus on anything on there, but pretended to be distracted anyways in the name of your role-playing session), trying to seem as unbothered as possible. "Yeah, yeah, all that big talk just to-"

Your words got caught in your throat as he finally began pushing in. You knew it was going to be a bit of a stretch, but those expectations were exceeded anyways. Taking a deep breath, you tried to relax as much as possible. As the resistance from your muscles began to fade, so did Yunho begin to breach even deeper.

"You good?" Yunho tentatively asked, visibly affected himself.

Unable to form words at the moment, you just nodded as confidently as you could.

After a few more tense seconds, Yunho was finally fully sheathed inside of you. He stayed like that for a while, looking into your eyes for a sign to start moving.

"So? How does it feel?" He asked, a playful smile on his lips at the way you were biting your bottom lip with furrowed brows.

As always, Yunho just couldn't help but be a brat and keep challenging your authority at the most random of times.

But, of course, you were having none of that.

Fighting back a wicked smile, you feigned confusion instead.

"What do you mean?" You asked, trying to sound as genuine as possible. "I'm still waiting for you to put it in."

It was almost impossible not to burst out laughing at the flustered look on Yunho's face. His eyes widened, flitting between your seemingly innocent face and down where you were already connected. "But- but I-"

"But what?" You challenged again, that annoyed edge to your tone from before returning. "Too scared to go through with it now? Just admit I'm right and save yourself the humiliation, seriously."

Yunho shook his head, the blush on his face spreading down to his neck and chest. "No, that's not- I mean, I- I'm already-"

"Already what? Not hard anymore? Got so anxious that that poor excuse of a dick fell asleep again? Not that it makes much of a difference, really."

Yunho's bottom lip trembled as he squeezed his eyes, stomach churning as the humiliation seeped even further in. It felt so awful to the point it felt exhilarating. He wanted to believe you couldn't feel him incessantly throbbing within you, but he was smarter than that.

"That's not what I meant!" He cried out, voice wobbling from the tightness in his chest. "I'm just- It's already in, okay?!"

A deafening silence filled the room, making Yunho want to curl up on himself. All of your attention was on him right now, boring into him with an intense, unreadable gaze.

And then you began laughing.

"Oh my god," you wheezed incredulously, gasping for air. Your body shook with your breaths, unintentionally squeezing around Yunho as well.

It was confusing, feeling the mix of incredible arousal along with insane shame. Yunho could feel his stomach tighten to the point of almost hurting, and yet it felt so good.

"Are you crying?" You gasped, marveling at the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over at any second. "You were so overconfident about that tiny dick of yours and look where it got you now. Crying because you can't even please a woman right. You're incredible."

That was the final straw.

Sobs echoed around the room as Yunho finally broke, letting the tears flow freely as he gave in to the humiliation. His arms gave out under him as he fell into your embrace again, wetting the pillow under you as he hid his face into it. He trembled in your hold in almost complete silence, safe for the occasional sniffles and an almost inaudible "fuck" whimpered into the cushion.

"You okay?" You whispered, tangling a hand into his hair to pet it softly.

Yunho quickly nodded in your hold before shuffling his head down into the crook of your neck again. "I'm gonna cum, oh my god."

You smiled fondly at his words, using his obstructed vision to relax your stern expression for just a second. "Aw, is that it? You've barely even put it in - or at least you say you did - and you're already gonna cum? What happened to our deal, huh? Are you that desperate you can't even wait for me to get off first?"

Just as expected, your words seemed to rile him up even further. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he said in a strained voice. His hips began rutting against yours with zero rhythm, focused on chasing the pleasure your body and words had brought him. "I'm so pathetic I can't help it, please!"

You rolled your eyes, but the clenching of your own muscles around him betrayed your true thoughts on the situation. "Ugh, fine. Not like I expected anything better anyways. Just clean up after yourself when you're done, and maybe I'll let you make me cum after."

Yunho grinned down at you, wet cheeks shining in the light. "Thank you, oh god, thank you!"

You gasped as his pace quickened, rocking you up and down on the couch under him. Yunho's face showed nothing but absolute bliss, eyebrows furrowing and mouth hanging open as he got lost in the feeling of you.

"Fuck- I love you, I love you so much," Yunho suddenly groaned out, head hanging low as he tried to keep up with himself, "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, I swear."

You chuckled at the confession, trying to keep your breathing somewhat steady yourself. "Just because I told you your dick is small? That's not difficult criteria to meet, don't you- ah! Don't you think?"

Yunho just moaned in response, head too stuffy to form proper responses anymore. However, the increasing pleasure coursing through him felt so overwhelming to the point he had to at least say something, and so he resorted to that which he knew best.

"Love you, love you so much, 'so good to me, treat me so well all the time," he rambled on and on, hiding his face in the crook of your neck before lifting his head up to breathe properly, only to then drop back down again. "You feel so- fuck! So good, I love you! Please, can I come? Please, I need to-"

"Come, honey," you spoke in a hushed yet clear voice, slipping your hands underneath his shirt to press him closer to your chest. "Did so well today, took everything I gave you and then some."

Yunho let out another sob at your words, overwhelmed with both the warmth of your body and your words. Clutching your hips and waist tight enough to bruise, he pushed into you two, three times before finally stilling inside of you. His back tensed as the endorphins hit him all at once, even clouding his vision for a moment.

You held your lover close as he slowly came down from his high, holding onto you for dear life. Your hands rubbed soothing circles into his back.

Just when you were starting to think he'd fallen asleep, Yunho spoke up again.

"Well, that was insane."

You chuckled, making him raise his head up to look at you. "In a good way or in a bad way?"

Quirking an eyebrow, he nodded down to your half-naked bodies, still connected together in the middle. "What do you think?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," you conceded. "I was just scared of accidentally hurting your feelings in the process, so I needed to ask for my own peace of mind."

"You could never hurt me with anything you'd said today," Yunho reassured you, bringing one of his hands up to cup your cheek. "Besides," he grinned, "like you said, I have quite a lot of evidence to prove none of what you told me is true."

That earned him an outraged slap on his arm, making him giggle mischievously. Nevertheless, it left the both of you smiling stupidly anyways.

"...Anyways, I have a favor to repay, don't I?" He asked in a husky voice, supporting himself against the couch cushions as he rose back up.

"Ah, you don't really have to," you replied shyly, suddenly reminded of the compromising position you were stuck in in front of him. "I mostly just said that as part of the scene, we can just go clean up in the shower like we usually do."

It was already too late, though, as Yunho began to slowly pull out of you, dropping down on his stomach right after to make sure you didn't make a mess on the couch.

"No, no, you were right," he disagreed, flashing you a devious smile as he disappeared between your legs.

"You already did your part, now let me do mine."

taglist: @justconniez @domribo @another-random-fanfic-blog

Thank you for reading! And remember, feedback is always very appreciated! <3

#ateez smut #sub!ateez #ateez x reader #yunho smut #sub!yunho #yunho oneshot #yunho x reader #ateez hard hours #ateez oneshot #ateez headcanons #ateez imagines #ateez oneshots #ateez reactions #kinktober 2024

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 4 months ago

Note

I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION

So we know that Melusines have a token that they are given/have when they are born (Mamare mentions this in game)

What token would the Creator have?

*SMACKS TABLE* YOU'RE RIGHT WHAT A BRILLIANT QUESTION

all of your siblings were born with something, something physical in their hands. for most, it was some trinket or bobble made of mechanical parts, etched with peculiar runes- your sister, Mamere, had a token that could repair her clockwork pup companion, and the same goes for the other Melusine. although, nobody's tried to use theirs to fix the clockwork soldiers. better leave delicate work to the professionals. when you first awoke, you wondered if your rebirth was just a dream, or if you really deserved it at all. the inhabitants of Teyvat all thought you were a liar, and imposter. clearly, you must have done something to attract their ire. something terrible and awful that you can't remember anymore

but the others meet your words with a chorus of protest, shaking their hands and insistently pointing at the token in your hand. it's a sign, they tell you, that you're a Melusine, good and true

and there is a trinket in your hands, an elegant thing made of swirling metal and filigree. it forms three points- the triquetra you've seen so often around this new world- one for each Moon Sister of the ancient past. in the center is a twinkling star shape with four points that glows faintly in the dark, shimmering with subtle iridescent colors. your siblings crowd around you, oohing and aahing at your unique token. it can't be used to fix any meka, but it lights the way in the darkest of nights, throwing shining bits around like a refracted prism. yes, you must be a Melusine, it's concluded with a firm nod. who else would be given such a lovely light, glowing much like the creatures of the Primordial Sea?

sometimes, you like to hold the token up to Foul Legacy's wings, and for a moment you think that perhaps you see the same stars, twinkling in their violet and blue depths

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arieslost · 1 year ago

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certified haters | ln4

summary: you and your boyfriend hate valentine’s day.

word count: 634

masterlist — join my tag list here!

if there was one thing you hated more than the stupid groundhog that could hardly ever predict the season changes properly, it was the so-called “holiday” that followed a couple weeks later: valentine’s day.

when you started dating lando, you made it perfectly clear that you refused to celebrate such a dumb, performative day. you’d expected more pushback considering how clingy and doting he was before the two of you even made anything official, but to your surprise he’d launched into a whole rant about how much he hated it too.

“i don’t need a specific day on the calendar to show you how much i love you,” he’d concluded, sitting back down on the couch and pulling you into his arms. “if you don’t know that every day of your life, then i’m doing something wrong.”

that was why, while other couples were being sappy and having breakfast in bed or something, you were more than happy to be freezing your ass off at silverstone as your boyfriend prepared to get behind the wheel of his 2024 car for the first time.

you honestly couldn’t imagine doing anything else— lando had seemed a bit hesitant when he asked you to come, like he thought you’d say no, and watching his eyes light up when you enthusiastically agreed was better than any valentine’s day gift.

you rubbed your hands up and down your arms to try and bring some heat back to your skin. lando, always so attentive, noticed immediately.

“are you cold?” he asked, and didn’t even wait for your response before he was putting his helmet down and shrugging out of his mclaren jacket. “put this on. c’mon.”

“no, lan, it’s fine—” your argument was pointless as he gently put your one arm, and then the other, into the sleeves of his jacket before zipping it up.

“can’t have my valentine freezing on me,” he could hardly get through his sentence without giggling, and it morphed into true laughter when you smacked him with an oversized sleeve. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry!”

“get out of my sight, norris.” you rolled your eyes, reaching for his helmet and shoving it into his chest.

“ready?” one of the engineers asked as he handed you a headset, and lando gave a thumbs up in return, flipping his helmet over as he walked toward the car.

“oh, wait!” you called out before he could put it on. “i almost forgot.”

he already knew what you were going to do before you did it. it was tradition; you always did this before he got in the car, no matter what. he closed his eyes and puckered his lips cutely in anticipation as you ran into his arms and kissed him.

“good luck, have fun, don’t die,” you said, smiling as he mouthed the words along with you.

it was what you had said before the first race he brought you to. you’d tried to come up with something profound, but you were so nervous that those six words came out instead. now you say them every time.

“i love you,” he pressed another kiss to your lips, and then your forehead. “i love you, i love you, i love you.”

he donned his helmet and climbed into the car as you put the headset on, stepping back so the engineers could do the final preparations on the car.

right before he drove out onto the track, he stuck his arm out of the car, formed a sign with his hand, and waved.

i love you! you knew he couldn’t turn around to look, but you signed it back.

you and lando hated valentine’s day, but the two of you were just as sappy with each other every other day of the year— why should today be any different?

note: this was fueled by my own hatred of this silly little day and i wrote this on mobile (thus the lowercase) in maybe two hours. the title ended up being more ironic than i thought it would be; i wish lando was my valentine and this got fluffier than i’d planned. hope u enjoyed!

requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

reblogs are greatly appreciated <33

dividers by @/saradika !

tags (i’m sorry if i couldn’t tag you!): @venusacrossthestars @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @architect-2015 @maddie-bell @athena-artemis-dorian-gray @noreri @bwormie @alltoomaples @maximoffsimp @peargaslyyy @alicedebate @esserenorris

#blurb #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris imagine #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #lando norris fluff #valentines day #ln4 fic #ln4 fluff

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factcheckingmclennon · 6 months ago

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harry nilsson quotes double feature: fact or fiction?

"Someone told me a few minutes ago they saw John walking on the street [once] wearing a sign saying – a button, rather, saying 'I Love Paul'. And this girl who told me that said she asked him, 'Why are you wearing the button that says ‘I Love Paul’?' He said, 'Because I love Paul.'" -Harry Nilsson

"I'm just like everybody else, Harry, I fell for Paul's looks." Harry Nilsson (on John)

these quotes get passed around unsourced, or wrongly sourced, constantly. so...

are these harry nilsson quotes about john lennon real?

shockingly, after getting an anon correction on the first one and then discovering myself on the second one through the world's most random search engine imaginable bc SOMETHING felt unfinished...... the final verdict for both?

...ish? the second one is sort of neutral bc it's taken a bit out of context but i'll get to that

let's get into it, because this one took me on a journey!

(and btw the sources on these were SUCH a pain in the ass to find due to lack of sourcing & wrong sourcing so i am on my hands and knees for these to get passed around w the proper sources now that they're in one place bc they're so good)

first of all, these quotes keep getting mixed up and messed around with different wording. which was my first road block on finding a proper source. second of all, they have been wrongly attributed to a) one single interview together and/or b) a rolling stone interview with nilsson. this made things aggravating. but in the end, an anon sent me the audio for the first quote and for the second one i FINALLY found someone a looong while back actually naming the book it's in & successfully found it!

made a post earlier concluding both were fake, but we just had to go a little deeper folks.

anyway, onto the good shit

who was harry nilsson? he was a friend of john's, specifically during his 1974 lost weekend era. they lived together for a while (along with others, including ringo!) and were pretty close.

"because i love paul"

this one gets misquoted the Most honestly like you'll find a bunch of different variations of it, but you can find it in a 1984 interview with geoffrey giuliano as such:

GIULIANO: Did he miss the Beatles? Was he mournful about what happened, over the, you know—? HARRY: Someone told me a few minutes ago they saw John walking on the street [once] wearing a sign saying – a button, rather, saying ‘I Love Paul’. And this girl who told me that said she asked him, “Why are you wearing the button that says ‘I Love Paul’?” He said, “Because I love Paul.” [laughs]

(source) (and again, it's a tumblr blog, but given that it's audio, i'm marking it trustworthy. i just uploaded it to archive.org in case it ever gets deleted)

"i fell for paul's looks"

this one. this one was a goddamn journey and a half. this sent me on several rabbit holes and dead ends. the author of the last source said "nope it's definitely not from the tapes i found this audio from or i would've posted it too" and couldn't find the source either. no one had a source. until finally i found someone on a forum saying it was in the ballad of john and yoko published by rolling stone in 1984, in an essay titled "harry remembers" and thank christ it was on archive.org

so here's the full quote, found on page 236

"He spoke the way James Joyce wrote. And to me he was the Beatles. He was always the spark. In a late wee-hours-of-the-morning talk, he once told me: 'I'm just like everybody else, Harry. I fell for Paul's looks. George knew more chords, so he was in. And Ringo, he's just Ringo.'"

(source)

so this one gets a... true/neutral rating from me. why neutral? well, the "i fell for paul's looks" part is certainly there. but in the full context, he's talking about why he wanted each member in the beatles. basically, paul was the pretty face. however, he did say that verbatim and it is incredibly fucking gay imo. like specifically the "i fell for" wording is craaaaazy to me. but i do think the full context should be included if we're talking about it, as well as the actual source.

so no, they were not indeed both from the same interview. one isn't even FROM an interview. but they are both true! which is great bc i love both of these quotes and truly thought they were fake! pleasantly surprised on this one

now, take these with a grain of salt. the first quote is a third-hand source. it's nilsson recounting what some random fan told him john had done YEARS prior. the second one is a second-hand source and nilsson and john were like pretty infamous for getting drunk/high together. but the quotes themselves? certainly exist from harry nilsson, and that's the question. believe them if you want to, or leave them! i'm certainly taking them lmao

#mclennon #type: factcheck #checked: true #A REDACTION...... truly stunned at these im ngl but you know what. we all have the sources now and i can move on in peace #had to pause this to go get coffee w a friend i was literally a lil late bc i was trying to speedread that essay FJASDFJASDF

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monkey-network · 10 months ago

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Good Stuff: Bluey's The Sign

Bluey is still great and I don't need to go into why again. What's most important is that even in such short time of knowing this cartoon, you can see the growth of it all. Joe and the crew share how the world of the Heeler family gets to learn, adapt, and grow without rapidly warping the status quo. You go through and see how everyone is able to work through rough and weird times with sincere maturity. Season 3's Finale is where this all comes to a head and it's as beautiful as I expected, MORESO.

Brandi got to be happy would've been enough for me

The Sign deals with the idea of hard ideas. Those hard ideas that aren't inherently about change, but issues that when faced with initially, it feels like a bad ending. A bad ending which can't be easily fixed and you don't know where to go from there, and it hurts. It hurts when hard ideas swoop in, ruins your mood, festers your mind, and leaves you aimless. Bluey shows that it happens, this is the rare time where a ton of crap hits the fan in one day and it's not something Chili or Bandit or any adult can fix right away. I've never experienced this, but I felt the pain Bluey, Bingo, Frisky, and Chili went through where they're bargaining, burying, and avoiding confronting a potential reality they didn't want. This is where the real hero of the special comes in...

Haven't said before, but Calypso is a masterful teacher

The parable of the farmer works as an incredible seedling thought for Bluey when she reveals her moving. It's not a story I ever heard, but known the message all too well. The message of not just accepting bad things that happen to you, but know that it'll never be the end of the world because of them. Don't think of it as deep, but a natural motif to grow with. This is where a debacle regarding the episode churns with me. It can seem like a cop-out that every character gets what they wanted by the end, as I said before the cartoon can be more idealistic than what our real life allows. Then again, the true beauty of Bluey I believe has always been if it's possible, the family will find a way and do it responsibly.

If happiness can be achieved, they'll know how to get it

Beyond all this, the special is great. They waste no minute here in art and storytelling, and as said before, it's like Smash Bros Ultimate where everything is here. There are great callbacks to episodes you probably wouldn't have thought about, on top of getting to see the whole Heeler family on Chili and Bandit's sides like that blew my mind. Plus I love seeing weddings, dude, like I wish I was there with them. The feels are tsunami-ous like it's unfair to say this is the all-time best episode of the show, but darn if it wouldn't be earned.

When else will I see the epicness of riding shotgun?

But to conclude, it's been said that after this the Ludo crew will take a indefinite hiatus from Bluey the series, especially when they have a new project underway. And honestly? I'm more than satisfied. The show could've ended here and I would've been somewhat at peace with them giving us this beautiful episode. I of course didn't get into this series since its beginning, but I came around the right time to enjoy it myself, to see others recognize its greatness, and to finally make it here. It's great to know this was only another chapter in the book, and I'll see to be around when it gets to come back. As for The Sign? What else is there to say?

It was Beautiful. Cheers to the crew for everything.

#Bluey #bluey cartoon #bluey the sign #the sign #cartoons #reviews #Good Stuff #long post

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moonchild033 · 4 months ago

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Astro Observations-6💪

Helllooo! Here we go with Part-6 🤗 Feel free to comment down your thoughts/experiences💅💃

(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement) ❤

Ascendant Lord in Cardinal signs can mean that the person has control over their mind and thoughts. They always have the tendency to focus on the brighter side of everything and are not easily influenced by anyone. They do what they decide to and unwaveringly stick to it.💪

Ascendant in Mrigashira, Chitra and Dhanishta - They can be short tempered and take hasty decisions. They're driven by emotions, making them prone to react based on their current emotions and regret it later. This can apply to 1H mars too.🤯

Mercury-Rahu conjunction (within 5 degrees) in 3/6/8/12H---Pls be careful on the internet. These placements can be affected by cybercrime issues. This could happen based on the house themes, not necessarily for everyone, just a reminder to stay safe sweeties.👩‍💻

Rahu in asc or in conjunction with ascendant lord - Delulu pro max placement fr. They be having a whole different world in their mind or acting like they have multiple personalities. It's so hard to read them, no matter how many yrs you spend with them, you'll still be wondering how they would react or what they would say for a particular situation. They shed their personality or remold it frequently that they feel like a whole different person within short spans of time. 🐍

Venus-Saturn conjunction in 12H especially for Gemini and Scorpio ascendants - Their first heartbreak would be insane. They could've got to the point of engagement or in a long term relationship, so used to each other and never would've imagined a breakup but it would strike them so hard one fine day, they would've pictured and planned their whole life with that person. This placement can give an unexpected, absolutely shattering kind of heartbreak in their first love.🤧

Dhanishta Moon- Conflicts with their mom. Mom could often use emotional blackmail as a weapon or leave the household often if it's in 8/9/12H.😬

11H lord in Ardra, Swati or Shatabisha- Friendships you get can be totally different from what you've expected. The friend you loved so much can surprisingly show their true colors and betray you whereas the person you didn't even like to interact with at first could become your loyal confidants. Forget getting like minded friends, you'll get the type of friends who will motivate you to be more open minded, teach you controversial/ type of stuff that doesn't go along with the conservative or large scale population. Whether they're a bad influence or good influence depends on the 11H lord.💯

Mars in 6-8 Alignment synastry (ie. If their mars is in 8H when counted from your mars, yours will be in 6H when counted from their mars)--The physical attraction is eternal and this could also be someone you'll have your first time with. The lust part will be never ending, if there are other long term aspects, this couple could turn out to be the ones having the same libido & yearning as before kind of physical intimacy even after manyyy yearrsss. As this alignment includes 6H too, the frequency will be high as 6H indicates routine.💀

Jupiter in Domicile/Exalted house in D9 in Woman's chart- Partner will suit your type so perfectly, it will feel like you've manifested the type of person you wished for. The downside is the qualities you wished for will be overexpressed, which can be a problem sometimes. If u wished for a kind hearted and helping person, they could be so much that they give out hefty checks out for donations, you could feel that the amount is unnecessarily high. They're what you wished for, you know that but sometimes it's too much and feels overwhelming or troublesome to handle.💖

Venus-Ketu conjunction in 12H-Especially in capricorn or aquarius can lead to unrequited love. They can be in delulu love for so many years and obsessed with them. They just want that one person and no one else, they would start to understand the reality that this is going nowhere only around 25yrs old. Guys, you deserve better wake up!🤗

This should be carefully analyzed- If your 11H or it's lord is stronger than 7H or it's lord, it can lead to a second marriage or multiple love affairs.😌

Venus in 2H (In Leo/Libra)- The type of ppl to woo the opposite gender by their flirtatious and spontaneous talks. They tend to spend a lot on their partners, the type of spending can be based on the naks. Magha venus can buy antique or unique products for their partners, they focus more on the status a specific gift shows rather than it's utility. Purva phalguni venus would buy a lot for themselves too and they would love joint assets, gifts that can be shared between the couple, like a luxury car or just a unisex branded hoodie. Vishaka venus would be the partners who take their better half on a shopping spree and let them buy anything for themselves, they mostly would like to leave the choice to their partner.💝

Let's Learn and Grow Together!💅💋

With Love-Yashi ❤⚡

Masterlist💖

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serendipitous-seven · 11 months ago

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how you met | a serendipitous life

whether fate is a belief or it's perfect timing, we'll see how each couple met and ignited their purple.

dad!bts mlist

↳ Namjoon & Moon | the couple with the longest history.

You started as the friends who always had a thing for each other. You knew you wanted to confess to him eventually but when he was signed and whisked away to the city, you sort of lost your chance. Once you moved away for college, the two of you lost touch but you always made it a point to silently support Namjoon and kept mutual friends between each other. After graduating college some years later, you were surprised by a very unexpected visitor at your celebration dinner - Namjoon (appropriately set up by said friends.) It didn’t take long for you and Namjoon to rebuild your friendship leading to the revelation that both had mutual feelings - thus a relationship was made official. You and Namjoon have learned the true meaning of ups and downs. Despite the long separation between friendship and relationship, Namjoon broke off the relationship spurred on by pressures from his career and outside disapproval of your relationship. But ultimately the two of you decided you didn’t want to miss out on any more years with each other -again- and rekindled your relationship once and for all. While you are both still learning to strengthen the bonds of union along with two kids, your love for each other is unbreakable. No matter what, you always find your way back to each other.

↳ Jin & Hart | the traditionally untraditional couple.

You are a family friend whom Jin secretly had a thing for, for a long time. Given his career, he never found the right time to see if there was a mutual attraction. Despite years in between seeing each other at family & friend gatherings, the few times Jin had personal free time - he could never shake you from his mind. So finally, while on a month's break, he took his parents to visit his hometown. Call it chance or the doings of two self-proclaimed, match-making mothers, a welcome home party of sorts was thrown together, conveniently bringing you to him - much to his delight. He charmed his way into your life though you persistently rejected him. It terrified you, the thought of dating an idol but, even you couldn’t deny who Jin was at heart, a jokester who just wanted to see the ones around him smile. He made sure you were comfortable and felt secure in the relationship. It was smooth sailing all things considered, until the night Jin was going to propose he learned you had a surprise of your own - you were pregnant. Both raised in very traditional homes, your families did not welcome the news initially, but when baby Gi was born, he melted their hearts. Now with three kids, another on the way, and a husband pursuing his love for acting, your life is as busy as ever. But even with the prospect of your husband signing with his first television series, you’re confident you can get through this next journey without a hitch.

↳ Yoongi & Kitt | the mom and dad of the group.

You started as an intern for BigHit some years back and upon meeting Yoongi, the two of you hit it off. It was whispered throughout the company that you two would end up as more than just workmates turned friends. While the two of you would dismiss those rumors, not even acknowledging them outwardly, the attraction to each other only grew. But given contracts and fears a relationship could destroy your integrity to the company and work, you concluded that your feelings had to be kept locked away. That is until you left after being promoted. Yoongi was confused and unwilling to let this go, especially where it concerned you. He confronted you and, well, the rest is history. Of course, the relationship was kept a secret for quite some time until the members told Yoongi they’d known for a while (many laughs are still shared about this.) Everything sort of fell into place from there. You married and had Dae not long after Jin and Hart gave birth to Gi. Everyone who knows you will say you and Yoongi are the most laid-back couple who keep a low profile and are very set in your ways. But if there’s one thing you’ve learned, it’s that you can never be too settled.

↳ Jimin & Chick | the power couple beloved by many.

Park Jimin swears he fell in love with you the moment he saw you on the set of their music video for Idol. You beg to differ. But Jimin never expected this, to fall for the head stylist. He knew he couldn’t leave the shoot without getting to know you - somehow and someway. He had enough charm and confidence to woo you only to fall short of your wit and cute smiles, reducing him to a blushing mess. Dinner was had the next night but not without a herd of paparazzi. You two were in a relationship according to headlines before you even knew it yourself. But it was an easy decision for you, falling for this man who vowed to take care of you (so long you kept your promise to cuddle him in bed every night.) Escaping to another country to marry in a very private ceremony, and returning to Seoul was a whirlwind. But you and Jimin quickly proved to be a power couple, taking the world by storm. Now with Jimin pursuing other opportunities, and a third boy on the way, you’ve retired from styling and do what you’ve always wanted to - create fashion from your home studio. Power couple or not, managing this bunch with your soon-to-be four boys will be interesting, to say the least!

↳ Taehyung & Luv | your every day Mr. and Mrs.

Oh, Mr. Romantic. He didn’t know how or when he would meet the love of his life, but it was something he hoped for. Little did he know that you were under his nose the entire time. Close friends with Woo-Shik from ‘Wooga squad’, you always had a thing for Tae - but no one could ever know. Spending time with Tae always went amiss until the chance fell into your lap when Woo-shik invited you over for a very regular dinner at his house. Lo and behold, Mr. Kim Taehyung was there. He chatted you up (conveniently sat next to you) and if you remember correctly, he even fed you a bite to eat. Wandering eyes amidst the friend group - they just knew. Life was busy and you didn’t see Taehyung for some months until Cupid struck you with another arrow - you crossed paths during a random day out. You had lunch, spent the rest of the day window shopping together, flirting with each other, and Taehyung, the bashful but cheeky man that he is, kissed you when he walked you to your door that night. He confessed that he couldn’t get you out of his mind since that night at Woo-shik’s house, and even wondered what it would be like to kiss you. It was as easy as it could get. Dating. Missing him while he toured. Getting married. Crying with him when the group retired. And now with a 1-year-old boy who is the apple of your husband’s eye, the two of you can’t wait to see what the future holds.

↳ Jungkook & Bell | the couple who met at the right place, right time.

He believed wholeheartedly he would hear bells when he found the one. So as a special guest at a speaking event, the sound of bells entered his ears (really it was an accompaniment of perfectly timed music set to play between speeches) he looked up at the podium, and there you were, a local speaker who just so happened to fall before his sparkling eyes. You knew BTS, you listened to some of their songs, but it was nothing more than that. Even then, when you found yourself talking to Jeon Jungkook, you had to pinch yourself to make sure this was real. He was very discreet but he made sure you knew he was interested. And you were too, this was intriguing. So, with only the purest intention, you went out to get to know him - maybe you could be friends. Several dates and a very awkward and shy kiss later, Jungkook made it clear what he wanted. You. Oh, what a curve ball life threw at you once the two of you started dating. How secretive it had to be - how stressful that was. But in the last year of BTS’ contract, the news came out and well, opinions were mixed. But the two of you had prepared for that as much as possible, supporting one another. Now married with a few years under your belt, Jungkook continues to pursue a solo career in music while you care for your newborn baby at home - soon to return to your job as well. Being the youngest couple in the group, people often underestimate the two of you. But you know well enough that, together, there isn’t a storm that can’t be weathered.

↳ Hoseok & Sunny | the international couple.

Hobi was open to the idea of falling in love with someone overseas, but he never expected it to happen. When he laid eyes on you, working behind the camera for one of their interviews, he couldn’t keep them from wandering over to you the entire time (you laugh about it now when you see clips of that interview and how distracted he was.) He talked a big talk and when J-Hope of BTS slipped you his number you rolled your eyes as he walked away, crumpling the piece of paper but sticking it in your pocket anyway. It wasn’t until you got home later that night did you remember you had his number, annoyed with yourself the more you thought about how enjoyable conversation actually was with him; you caved and texted him. Oh how delighted he was! You two texted all night, in between your work and his schedule the following day, and nearly every day for the next year. The reality of your relationship didn’t take long to rear its ugly head after he returned to Korea. Missing each other was painful and often led to bickering. One day he challenged you and asked ‘Why don’t you move to Korea and pursue your career in media out here?’ Stubborn and understandably terrified of the idea, you were offended he was asking you to uproot your life. Some time passed when one day it all just clicked and you knew Hobi was not someone you were willing to lose. With the help of your colleagues, they found a spot for you at a company based out of Seoul. Things were strained for a while, from having to restart your life in Korea, dating an idol, and the language barrier, but Hobi always made sure you knew how much he valued you for doing all of it. Spending any free time he had with you, making this new city feel like home for you. When you experienced some ridicule, Hoseok proved how much of a pillar he would be. You lived together before marrying, had your son Huimang, and now juggle being a mom, and a wife to a retired idol all while working your way up in the world of media. Too busy isn’t a word in your and Hoseok’s vocabulary, so trying for your second baby should be a breeze.

taglist: @mizz-kraziii

#dad!bts #jungkook x reader #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #jhope x reader #seokjin x reader #jimin x reader #namjoon x reader #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts fanfic #jungkook fluff #yoongi fluff #jhope fluff #taehyung fluff #park jimin fluff #seokjin fluff #namjoon fluff #dad!bts series: a serendipitous life by serendipitous-seven

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whateverisbeautiful · 5 months ago

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♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#32: The Safety (1.04)

gif cred: @riickgrimes

It was very clear up to this point in TOWL that Rick hadn't felt alive in years. But in this next scene, we learn that Michonne hadn't truly been feeling safe in years. And why? Because the only time she feels safe is with Rick Grimes. 😭

Danai wrote and delivered a line that moved me, broke me, and healed me all at the same and I have so many thoughts on it because I appreciate it so much 🥲...

So inside the gym, Rick lets Michonne know that the CRM took out the helicopter because they always destroy any evidence that they exist. Then he acknowledges that the whole building is buckling but Michonne is preoccupied with something that’s caught her attention.

When she doesn’t respond to him, Rick says, "Michonne?" and she takes hold of a note left behind by a deceased innovator, Lakshmi Patel. Michonne starts to read it aloud and it explains that this place consisted of like-minded innovators trying to live off the grid and create a new, sustained, and hopeful future.

Patel clearly lost hope in that vision saying that their motto of ‘progress and redemption through innovation’ is now like a sick joke. It’s interesting the letter then says, “I can’t face how much I have failed everyone” because that connects to something Rick feels, especially since when he chose to die he believed he died a failure.

Patel says she can’t continue to watch their mission die and apologizes. Meanwhile, Rick reads a much-needed message on the wall that says “Trust in your ability to adapt and overcome. Your past doesn’t define you.” And he def needs to hear that.

gif cred: @clonecaptains

Michonne concludes reading the letter as Patel expresses her hope to be remembered as someone who refused to leave the world the same way she found it. And then Michonne gives a sad look at the body beside the letter seeing the somber fate of Patel.

Michonne knows there are some connections to be drawn between this letter and Rick so she notes how it tends to not work out and fall apart when people try to save the world their own way. And just to make it extra clear she’s talking about Rick she says, “Sound familiar?”

(Side note: I like how she stays having one side of her shirt hanging off her shoulder. There’s something casual and comfortable about it plus it’s sorta like she’s trying to get Rick to realize the shirts already hanging off and he can take the rest off if he gets it together lol)

Michonne says, “It’s just like this place. They thought they knew it all.” And then because these two can’t resist throwing some jabs in their arguments this ep she adds, “Oh except the killing of innocent people. Except that part.”

Also, I like the framing with a literal barrier between Rick and Michonne that paints the picture of the figurative barriers between them as well. Then Rick sounds the most CRM-ish he’s ever sounded when he responds saying, “The city stands.” Had me like...

And Michonne felt the same because the way she sighs - she’s so over this Commando front Rick is putting on. What happened to 'this isn’t my city'? I miss that energy.

And then Rick says, “And I’ll stop the killing. I’ll find a way.” He's so prepared to just burden himself with this mission. And Michonne challenges that, mentioning just like Patel thought she’d find a way...and we see how that worked out for her.

Rick says, “You still don’t understand.” And the reason Michonne 'doesn’t understand' this is because it’s not the actual root of why Rick won’t go home. She can’t be fooled. And what Michonne does understand is that what Rick is proposing to do is basically, “Signing up for lifelong duty to the enemy.” But Rick rebuts that, “This is about ending the enemy.”

I love that Michonne is quick to respond saying, “This is not you, Rick.” She keeps trying to emphasize this because she knows him deeply and she knows this is not him being anywhere near his true self.

It's really fascinating to see this scenario play out where Rick has lost himself and is now back with the one person who knows him better than he knows himself, who can continually and accurately remind him that this version of him is not really him.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

But Rick thinks there are some aspects of this version of him that are authentic as he says, “This isn’t me how? That I would give everything - my hand - my life for you. That’s not me?”

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And I do love hearing Rick basically say I would give absolutely everything for you and how that's him to his core. And it is him, but also a healthy Rick would be fighting to be with her too, not just die for her.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

As Rick makes his way over to her side of the barrier he yells, “This is what I need to do to keep you safe!” Safety has understandably been such a huge priority for Rick to provide since the very beginning of TWD. And when he yells this I can hear this fear in his voice that he genuinely doesn’t think there’s another way to keep her safe than the one he’s taking.

I appreciate how passionate Rick feels about keeping her safe but also…the tone of it just needed to come down a few notches because no one should be yelling at Michonne. 👌🏽

Also, this made me think about how in the season 4 finale, Rick tells Daryl “I want to keep him safe. That’s all that matters” regarding protecting Carl after the horrible night with the Claimers. Keeping his family safe is such a driving force of Rick's character and he feels the same intense devotion to protecting Michonne as he yells that he has to stay with the CRM to keep her safe.

Her safety is all that matters to him rn and he’ll do anything to preserve it. But that’s why it’s such a perfect and impactful gut punch for Michonne to then reveal where her true source of safety comes from in this scene.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Despite Rick's more ramped-up energy, Michonne, like she so often had done in the main show, (with that bullet moment from Clear being top of mind) approaches Rick's antsy energy with this arresting calm and beautiful vulnerability as she just melts my heart by softly telling Rick....

“The only time I feel safe is when I’m with you.”

gif cred: @figmentof

Y’all…😭😭😭 Perfection. I love it so much and it’s truly my favorite thing she’s ever told him. 😍

Before I started writing these TOWL posts I knew two lines were basically going to need a whole post dedicated to the line alone and it’s this one here from Michonne and another line from Rick in episode 5 that we’ll talk about later. There’s just so much to unpack with Michonne telling Rick that the only time she feels safe is with him. It makes total sense.

I had made a post right after episode 4 that incorporated TWD gifs of all the moments where it was evident Michonne got her safety from Rick. And I just think it’s the sweetest thing on the planet to know that in this dangerous world, the one thing that most made Michonne feel like it’s gonna be okay is Rick. 🥹 I once saw someone say Michonne makes Rick strong and Rick makes Michonne safe and I love that. Gospel truth. 💯

It’s such a big deal too because Michonne is an incredibly strong, competent, independent woman who many look at and quickly assume she can just fearlessly protect herself. And while she can protect herself, Michonne has always had so many layers to her so she’s also vulnerable and needs to feel safe and reassured from something outside of herself too. And I love that she knows she found that in Rick. 🥹

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

Then the utter pain comes in when you realize this means for almost eight years Michonne hasn’t truly felt safe. She’s had to gracefully balance the responsibilities, fears, and expectations of motherhood and leadership as well as establish security for others and some semblance of security for herself, all without the personal safe space of her husband to turn to. It breaks me. 😥

And this is another reason I’m glad TOWL gave Rick and Michonne this space to be not just fighters, community leaders, or parents, but a husband and wife trying to find each other and themselves again.

Also, I love that she says 'the only time.' Like genuinely she’s either safe with him or not really feeling safe at all. And I feel like that’s also clear in her TWD scenes post-Rick with all the ways Michonne would cling to Rick's memory through various items. It's like she was trying to garner some sense of comfort again from the only person she ever completely let her guard down and trusted she’ll be safe with.

I remember I received a message a few months ago that touched on if I'd explore when Michonne seemed to realize that she only felt safe with Rick in TWD, how it impacted her actions, and what that evolving journey of safety with him looked like. It took me a minute to get to, but I said I would definitely talk about it, and so I want to break that all down now, right here. ⬇😊

When it comes to Michonne and her safety becoming tied to Rick. I think it happened before she knew it happened. 👌🏽

Now of course in season 3, Rick and Michonne are strangers so it doesn't happen this season. But it does seem like Michonne's inherent safety with Rick started at least budding even this early.

I especially think this because of that beloved scene in Clear where she tells Rick about talking to her dead boyfriend. That’s a very personal and vulnerable thing to share, especially from someone who didn’t even tell Andrea much about herself when traveling with her for months. (Which was a smart move considering the way Andrea stayed gossiping 🙂)

To me, it shows that somehow Michonne felt safe enough with Rick to open up about herself - I think because she recognized that she and him have qualities inside of them that are uniquely similar.

And then at the end of season 3 when Rick comes real close to delivering her to the Governor she still comes back and shows grace, trusting that she could return and be safe with them. But again I don’t think it’s season 3 where her safety is tied to Rick yet.

I think that comes in season 4.

However, not 4A just yet because I think in the first half of season 4 Michonne is absolutely starting to feel more safe and comfortable with Rick but that in itself feels unsafe to her at the time. Which is why she keeps herself at a warm distance from him.

I never lose sight of Michonne’s backstory when thinking about what’s made the character who she is because it’s so important. I know the show sorta put her losing a son and boyfriend in the background but for me it always informs so much about her, in the early seasons especially. And that’s such a traumatizing thing she had to go through and so you just know that it’s probably a lot to now be growing closer and closer to this man and his son at the prison knowing how things turned out for the man and child she lost at that refugee camp.

Michonne clearly really likes Rick and Carl in 4A but letting them in close after knowing profound loss is a bit of a fear for her so instead she’d always find ways to keep Rick at a friendly distance and stay out and about, of course for other motives like tracking down the Governor but also to run from the potential “danger” of being hurt again if she lets Rick become a safe space for her like he’s so naturally becoming.

...But then the prison falls and so too do some of the walls around Michonne’s heart.

She tries to go back to her isolated ways after the prison but she can’t. She’s found family in those Grimes boys and she knows it and so even if she doesn’t know where those footsteps lead in After she knows she has to follow the call of her heart to be apart of something again.

In a heartbreaking scene in After (4.09), Michonne talks to Mike one more time, vulnerably saying she misses him and even saying she missed him while he was still here. It made me think how Michonne had probably also been keeping her distance from Rick out of a sense of loyalty to Mike. Just like Rick wrestled with feeling like he needed to be solely grieving Lori all the while falling hard for the katana-wielding woman that’s entered his life, I think Michonne also was subconsciously wrestling with feeling this intrinsic connection to Rick so soon after losing her family.

I really feel like Rick and Michonne’s immense sense of loyalty played a part in their slow burn being slow despite catching feelings for each other so quickly. Because while both of their former partners weren’t their person, they still weren’t just going to give up on them or abandon the memory of them, it’s not who Rick and Michonne are - they’re both loyal to the core, even to partners who weren’t loyal to them.

In some ways it seems like Mike might have stopped being able to understand Michonne, figuratively disappearing on her and giving up while she kept fighting, similar to how Lori just couldn’t understand Rick. But then Michonne and Rick met each other and felt exceptionally seen, known, heard, loved, and safe in ways that probably even surprised them towards the beginning of their bond. They finally found someone who could love them as loyally as they love, which is part of why of course their love can never be stopped or denied, not even by each other.

I think about how in season 3 Lori tells Rick he’s not a killer. But the thing is that killer is a part of him. It's not all of him but it is in him as we saw him really confronted with that side of himself at the end of season 4.

What’s beautiful about Rick's relationship with Michonne is she knows he’s a killer, even verbalizing that outright to Merle early in season 3, and she doesn’t have to deny it or change it to love him. Michonne gets that it’s in Rick and respects that as one of the many parts of him she respects and understands, not just from the outside looking in but personally. Basically, Rick and Michonne are each other's match in all the ways.

So in a beautiful act of resilience, Michonne fights the fear of being close to people again when she finds Rick and Carl in that house. And she truly embraces them as hers from here on out.

And I think here in this wonderful 4.09 moment when she finds Rick and Carl in that house is when Michonne more readily embraces that she feels most safe with Rick.

In Claimed (4.11), I think we start seeing more visibly how Michonne's safety is tied to Rick and how she subconsciously senses it. In that home, both Rick and Michonne express that they need each other and are willing to possibly make a home with the two of them and Carl. An unspoken agreement that they're forever family now.

One of the many interesting things about that scene between Rick and Michonne in Claimed is that Michonne says she’s done taking breaks. But she wasn’t necessarily leaving the prison to take breaks, she was going on runs and hunting down the Governor. However, phrasing it as 'breaks' could imply that part of her constant trips away from the prison was her leaving to run from how close she was becoming to Rick and Carl - to “take a break” from becoming reintegrated into a family after the tragic aftermath of her last family turned her into a lone wolf.

But I love that when she said she’s done taking breaks she meant that and lived up to it. And then in each 4B scene, we see more and more how Michonne starts to draw closer to the Grimes boys and feel safe enough to be herself with Rick.

Rick gets to see Michonne's playful side with Carl, he wants to include her in family hunting excursions, they like talking to each other and smiling over dinner, and they both often check in on each other to make sure they’re taken care of.

By the end of season 4 when Michonne knows she’s okay because Rick's okay, I think she's now cognizant that she feels safe with Rick in a way that’s different than anything & anyone else. And truly how beautiful is it that in a world where safety is a true rarity, Michonne found that so fully in Rick. 🥹

Also, as I've detailed in many a post, this is also the point where I believe she's subconsciously fallen in love with him. 🥰

And where Rick’s previous wife and his former best friend/sheriff's deputy doubted his ability to keep people safe, Michonne trusts Rick wholeheartedly as a good man capable of protecting his family against anything.

That's one of the great things about rewatching TWD Seasons 1 & 2. Those early seasons make it so clear that Michonne is a love Rick has never experienced before. We don’t just feel like their love is different we get to see it in how much more Michonne loves, respects, understands, believes in, and just all and all likes Rick as opposed to his former wife and best friend.

Last year I wrote a whole reflecting on richonne post about how Michonne and Rick rarely ever split up in TWD and were always paired up for most things. It was proof of their magnetism, trust, fondness for one another, and love.

But I like how now Rick and Michonne never splitting up in TWD is also such a clear sign of the safety they brought each other. And in season 5, that’s especially clear because they really are side by side through so much that season.

I think about when Michonne put her hand on Ricks before they entered Alexandria and how that was her way of offering comfort to him while also being comforted by his presence too. Just like Rick, a large reason she felt safe enough to walk out of that car and approach those ASZ gates after everything they’d been through is because she had Rick by her side.🥲

The one time they’re not operating side by side with Rick hiding the gun plot from her, they both feel so weighed down by having anything come between them, and they're eager to repair the distance by the end of the season.

Michonne had felt both asleep and restless when they arrived at ASZ and part of it is because her source of safety was sorta losing his mind. When Rick begins his return to sanity - and Michonne really is a core source of sanity for him - we see a sense of safety return to Michonne as well as she declares she’ll always be with him.

I always adored that s5 'I’m still with you moment' and I love it even more now knowing that part of why she so confidently knows she’ll be with him no matter what is because Rick is who she feels safest with. 😭

In 6A all of Richonne's scenes continue to solidify that Michonne feels most safe with Rick. And when Rick goes out into the horde in NWO Michonne full-on panics because he’s doing something unsafe and her own safety just evaporates as she expresses a rare moment of disarray.

And then in 6B we get to see a more personal and intimate way that Michonne feels safe with Rick. Even just walking around more stripped down in a robe and towel shows he’s made her feel super comfortable.

The heightened safety she feels with Rick is especially evident in their canon era - from the way they decompress on that couch before their first kiss, the way he calmingly reaches for her in the RV and it seems to immediately bring her peace, to just the safety to let herself be adored and loved on so fully by Rick’s good kind heart in all their comfy and sensual moments at home. 🥰

When she confides in Rick and tells him at the end of 7A that she only wants to go forward if it's with him - "you and me" - she means it.

And all through season 7 it’s clear she knows full well that the only time she truly feels safe is with him. It’s why she nearly throws in the towel - or throws in the sword - when she thinks walkers got to Rick in Say Yes and so vulnerably runs into his arms when seeing he is alive.

Michonne knew she couldn’t lose him on that honeymoon run. Not just 'I don't want to lose you,' she knew 'I can't lose you,' - something Rick too would grasp fully once taken from her for years. With soulmates like this, they lose each other, then in many ways they lose themselves.

When Michonne told Rick she couldn't lose him in Say Yes, I knew she felt it was because she loves him deeply but after TOWL it’s clear how she also knew she’d never truly feel safe again if she were to lose him. 😭 They are each other's security in this crazy world.

Then, after getting in that brutal brawl in the s7 finale, Rick makes getting to Michonne a priority and when he finds her against that wall, she just hears his voice and feels his touch and it looks like a sense of safety has been restored to her. And to Rick too.

In season 8, sirens go off in Michonne's head being away from Rick during the war and it’s clear she won’t be able to rest truly until he’s back.

And in that season's msf I’ve always felt it’s so clear that when she tells Judith she’ll bring her daddy back, Michonne is excited for both her baby girl and herself that they’ll have Rick back finally - the man who makes their family feel complete and safe. 👌🏽

After tragically losing Carl (which is forever heartbreaking 💔💔💔), both Michonne and Rick try to be a safe space for each other even despite their own immense individual pain.

And they do find their way back to each other, saying i love you and holding hands off to war because no matter the circumstances if they can hold each other they can feel a sense of safety.

And in s9, before Rick leaves, Richonne really feel so at home and safer than ever with each other. It’s a beautiful time for them and all their nice season 9 scenes show how Michonne is wrapped in the love and safety of her husband. Even literally just waking up with his arm wrapped around her.

When Michonne had some real apprehension regarding if the people could really band together after Negan, she always knew she could voice those concerns with Rick and he’d reassure her so encouragingly. Also for a woman to agree to get pregnant in an apocalypse - that requires feeling a lot of safety and Rick made Michonne feel safe enough to do that. 🥲

But then Rick is taken and it’s devastating. 💔 And with his absence, Michonne’s safety also goes away.

She had to bring the beautiful life they created into the world without him. And you can just imagine there were so many nights alone in bed during her pregnancy when she’d longed for him to be there. And so when she looks at Rick with the CRM in ep 3 and yells you were alive ‘with them’ in this episode, I always sense this added hurt because those CRM people, who don’t even appreciate Rick, got to be around him all the time while she was miles away longing for him to be with her and feeling unsafe without him.

And this profession that she only feels safe with him makes all those moments post-Rick where she’d still find ways to connect with him all the more meaningful because even after he’s gone, she still only feels at least a semblance of safety with him.

Be it through the ring she wears and even fiddles with on her finger when needing to think, a Sherriff action figure, the bullet shell from his gun that she always wears in her hair to keep him close, talking to him in their bedroom, and most notably wrapping herself in his clothes just to try to remember how safe she once felt in his arms.

It moves me so much how she still only felt safe with Rick even after he was taken from her. She tells Judith how she felt so lost after Rick was gone. And because she’s strong she figured out how to keep going of course, but the world became an ultra-dangerous place again so it makes sense why she’d become as cautious as she became. Nothing could make her truly feel safe until she was back with her true love.

And when Michonne is back with Rick in TOWL, you see that sense of safety start to come back. She has no clue where he’s taking her or how they’ll get out of this CRM place but she trusts him. She knows he’ll do anything to keep her safe.

But the surprising aspect is Rick will do anything to keep her safe…including trying to destroy being her safe space so that she’ll be willing to leave him and make it home. 🥀☹️

And that is exactly what we see happen as this heart-gripping gym scene continues. So my extra self has to do a part two to talk about the latter half of this gym scene.

I'll conclude this post by saying, “The only time I feel safe if when I’m with you” is such a deeply beautiful, meaningful, and memorable line. 😭 Black women, both in fiction and in reality, don't always get to express that innate want to feel safe with someone/something outside of ourselves and so seeing Michonne get to say that her safety doesn't just come from her but from her husband was powerful and lovely. 👏🏽

I forever love Danai for knowing Michonne would feel this way in her relationship with Rick and allowing her to voice it so perfectly and authentically here. This episode really was written by someone who knows Rick and Michonne inside and out and I adore the way Richonne is each other's truest safe space. 🥹👌🏽

#richonne #towl #reveling in richonne #1.04 #RIR (32)#the ones who live #twd towl #michonne grimes #rick grimes #rick x michonne #twol #michonne #rick and michonne #twd: the ones who live #twd #richonnefandom

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iwriteloveletters · 4 months ago

Text

Birthday Gift Ghoul!Eren x Reader

TW - slight gore, mentions of scars, self-isolation, biting, blood, mentions of bones breaking, the author might've gotten some things wrong about tokyo ghoul and he is sorry. Authors note will be added at the end.

Words - 2.5k

Your life completely fell apart because of a date. You lied in a hospital bed on the verge of dying because of a date. You were supposed to die at least, it was expected of you from everyone including your own family. But there you were, alive–your brain showed signs of activity despite the comatose state you were in and your wounds healed near perfectly despite the unflattering scar that covered your throat. You beat the odds within a week after the accident, but at what cost?

Simple, you lost every right to call yourself human. You appeared human but the naked eye could easily tell you were anything but that if they truly observed you, from your sickly appearance to your strange habits you have developed shortly after the freakish accident; such as the way you go to the bathroom between every few bites of food without explaining why and the sudden aversion you had towards anything that involved sitting and eating with others.

‘Ghoul’ was the name society has given to people in your predicament. They were the uncanny creatures of the night, they survived off human flesh and blood; they were the biggest threat to society. Man's true predator. You became the predator, and you hated him for putting you at the top of the food chain.

He was your boyfriend, Eren Jaeger; he was a young man you had a project with in your first year of university and by the second semester you were dating. Two years have passed since that project and you’ve loved each other unconditionally the entire time, he knew you like the back of his own hand and as did you, up until the accident.

It was your birthday that day and Eren said he made reservations for a restaurant you had wanted to try before it even opened. You were ecstatic about this for a plethora of reasons but the most important reason was you were having dinner with Eren, for the two years you have been dating you could only recall having two dinners… maybe three together. He always avoided the possibility of having dinner with you, he never explained why and you eventually gave up on asking him and decided that he must’ve had a medical condition that he didn’t feel too keen on sharing with you; you respected that even though you spent some days yearning for those 3AM trips to the convenience store for snacks with Eren, something that you never got to experience with him. The past was officially behind you now however when there’s finally a plan to have dinner with him, it was a perfect birthday gift for you.

The evening you shared at the restaurant was nice, there wasn’t a dress code meaning you were able to dress comfortably but still look your best for pictures you wanted to take with him to showcase this once-in-a-lifetime ordeal with your boyfriend. He ate very little and excused himself once or twice, this was a habit of his when you did have dinner together. It never bothered you though.

Dinner concludes for the night, you and Eren took more than enough pictures for memories of such a special day, and you both had a good time overall. You were more than thankful for the night Eren provided.

The two of you walked hand and hand down the streets of the city, it was 10 PM by this point and you both walked in silence. This was a moment of peace for you, if you could relive any moment it would have been this one.

“Let’s take a detour, wanna show you somethin’.” Eren broke the silence all while walking down a completely different path, pulling you from the direction of your apartment where your friends and family were waiting to sing happy birthday and cut you the first slice of your favorite cake.

You didn’t think twice about his decision to go to a different location, he was spontaneous at times and you loved that. There was an element of surprise to these sudden detours he had taken with you, perhaps he had a gift for you all things considered? The idea of a present after dinner excited you.

You two ended up at a bridge not too far, the water underneath sparkled beautifully before you, and the moon was as full as can be. It was a beautiful sight to share with your favorite person who stood closely by your side the entire time.

“You love me right?” He snapped you out of your thoughts, he rarely asked for reassurance, it wasn’t like him to do so. It felt strange to hear him ask such a question but you’d never let him second guess for a moment that he went unloved.

You chuckled and pulled him into an embrace, one that he returned happily.

“Of course I do,” you nodded before burying your face into his sweatshirt and inhaling his scent, he smelled slightly like coffee paired with his usual laundry detergent; it was a scent you’ve loved ever since you’ve been able to hold him close and smell it, you were obsessed with how the scent of coffee beans were practically attached to his skin, clothes, and even lingered in his home at times. It provided the familiarity that you loved in your life.

He let out a small hum and nodded all while keeping a secure hold on you, “no matter what?” he questions again.

“No matter what,” you assured him once more, you were growing worried for Eren now. You desperately wanted to know what it was that was making him feel insecure, maybe it was tonight's dinner, it was such a rare occurrence that it was possible that something that happened caused this level of sudden insecurity, “are you okay Eren?”

Eren nods again, tightening his hold on you to where it was growing slightly uncomfortable, “yeah,” he spoke in a whisper.

You let out a squeak when you felt your ribs ache from the pressure of his tight embrace, you tried to pull away and break the hug once and for all but he only held you tighter than before.

“Eren…” you spoke in a certain tone to signal that he was taking it too far right now, “c’mon you’re gonna snap me in half.” you tried to chuckle despite the current restriction you experienced, you knew he didn’t mean it but sometimes it felt like he wasn’t even aware of his strength some days, there were many instances where he hugged you with more strength than you were comfortable with. All it took was a nudge back into the right direction though, this was surely one of those moments where you had to redirect him.

“I know,’ he confirmed, “just relax, yeah?” His tone felt something beyond lighthearted, he was supposed to mirror you–like always–but this time felt different; his tone was flat and there was nothing sweet about his awareness.

You had felt his arms pull you as close as humanly possible against his chest, his heartbeat was faint but it could still be heard considering how uncomfortably close you were to him. You tried to push him away once again but it quickly proved to be futile, it was almost suffocating for you.

“Eren…” your tone was strained since he was slowly but surely squeezing the air out of your lungs.

“Relax.” He repeated, “relax and I’ll explain it all later.” his hand finds its way to the back of your head to smoothen out your hair, an act that was supposed to provide comfort for you but this was beyond comforting.

Before you could say anything else or ask what was wrong with him you felt him squeeze the air out of you one last time, you heard various cracks go down your back, it was relieving for a split second till you felt your chest burn horribly.

You took a sharp breath due to the ache and it burned even more, something wasn’t right. The burn worsened and you heard sounds that weren’t cracks coming from your tense back… they were the sounds of your bones snapping. He was breaking your ribs.

Your trembling hands found their way to press against his chest and you finally got a look at his face once you created an inch of space between you and him, the man that was snapping you in pieces wasn’t the man you’ve loved more than anything else. He was a monster, a ghoul in its truest form. Huge red irises with black scleras met yours. Though his eyes held no hunger in them the way the media describes the looks a ghoul would give a human. You couldn’t see anything in his typically expressive eyes in fact, only he knew his own intentions with you and that was something he was more than happy to keep to himself.

Your mouth opened but no scream alerted anyone who may have been walking by or in the vicinity. Only heavy, shaky breaths found its way to fill the atmosphere between you both. All you could do was meekly slam your hands into his chest to defend yourself, you were growing weaker by the second the more you became aware of your current state and anything else to protect yourself from him was impossible to do.

“I love you.” He stated like a fact before he bared his teeth at you, his teeth appeared normal but it sent a wave a dread through you knowing that might pierce your flesh and provide Eren with his fill for the night. This was your birthday night.

His declaration of love was the last thing you heard before he sunk his teeth deep into your throat, before you blacked out completely you felt his tongue run against the bloodied skin of your neck.

You remember nothing after that point, you plummeted straight into darkness for the next week. Everyone in your life was horrified and the authorities never caught the ‘unknown’ ghoul who almost took your life that night. This was a stressful time for both your loved ones and your newly developing body that forced you to survive your injuries.

It’s officially been a month since the accident, a month since your birthday, and a month since you’ve seen or heard from Eren.

He dropped out of university shortly after and there was no word on when or if he’d return, his closest friends Mikasa and Armin told you nothing and avoided you in fact. It was like you two never dated in their eyes. You felt angry and lost by this point, you had to withdraw from your old life similarly to the way he withdrew from his own. You barely spoke with your loved ones and you hated leaving your house and smelling all the disgustingly delicious scents that lingered amongst your peers distressed you. You had to go as far as to switch to online courses till you knew how to control your appetite in public. You had to quit your job on top of that, luckily your parents were willing to pay for your necessities and rent, you were eternally grateful for their support. Had it not been for them you could’ve been left on the streets or stuck in their house while you were barely adjusting.

This was all until you adjusted to your new lifestyle; that’s how you eased your otherwise restless mind when it became tough. As much as you hated Eren, you could respect him for managing class, work, friends and a long term relationship while he was most likely craving a taste of his peers. It made you wonder how he made having sex possible in the first place, the thought of your mouth near a human made your stomach hurt, your heart race, and your mouth water all at once. It made you wanna know why he would put you through this and then disappear from your life indefinitely. No one knew of your predicament and you didn’t know anything about interacting in ghoul society–if they had one at least. You were growing distressed at this point.

The question of his choices was something that frequently crossed your mind, an array of why’s echoed in your lonely home. Especially when you got hungry, you never ate a person–you refused–you had to settle for raw meat as an alternative, it only kept you satisfied for a small period of time. Your hunger would simply worsen as days went by though, and all you could do is sob in your kitchen asking Eren ‘why?’. You were always met with the hum of your pathetically empty fridge for an answer whilst you held a half eaten chicken breast you bought that day.

You went to do your weekly meat pickup at a local supermarket today, it was the middle of the day on a Tuesday and there weren't too many people to trigger that horrible appetite of yours. It was a great opportunity to shop and everything was going well till an employee cut herself with a boxcutter while trying to open a box that contained the product.

You were in another aisle at the time but the smell of her blood was overwhelmingly strong, it was a mixture of metal and your all-time favorite meal that effortlessly filled your senses. It made you sick to your stomach all while making it rumble loudly in your ears, a signal of hunger you ignore far too often. You could feel your muscles flex and tense while you tried to maintain your composure, you squeezed your knuckle till you felt your nails dig into your skin–anything as a means to stabilize yourself. But like your prior attempts to prevent your ‘accident’ it was all futile, your body was against you and you heard a voice practically commanding you to tear her piece by piece and freeze the leftovers for later. You had to drop everything you were planning to buy and rush out of the store and straight home due to the stress of it all. At least you could be surrounded by your own scent and nothing else that could be tempting to you.

As you entered your home you felt a little bit more at ease but you knew something wasn’t right, you smelled him. The faint scent of him was in the air and you felt your blood boil the more you smelled it.

“Where are you, bastard?” you called out into the dark apartment, you didn’t want him to feel welcomed in your space after he ruined you and left you to figure out your new life on your own.

You were met with no response, you figured he left till you entered your room and he was at your desk, as if this was a study date you both planned. Anger and relief hit you all at once but you wanted to hit him harder.

“Get out.” you commanded and pointed to the doorway.

He turned around, his eyes were green just like before. It felt like a cruel joke to see him appear human again when you both knew he would never be one. Neither will you and you both knew that too.

“Let me explain myself and I’ll help you.”

A/N- hiii cherub here with something that isn’t just a random post… haha… i hope you guys like this bc i rlly rlly wanted to write something for my boy again </33 i love him smmmmmm!!!! also i have not finished tokyo ghoul (i buy the physical manga to read bc i don’t like reading on my phone and the anime isn’t even worth it) so im super sorry if i was a bitttt inaccurate ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

but i hope you made it this far and enjoyed, i want to try to write on here again but it will def take time considering my lack of creativity, i had to listen to the same song on loop for an hour and watch the same tokyo ghoul edit for two days to rlly get in the mood to write this… i love ghouls, cannibals, and eren so this was tons of fun to write! see ya next time!! <3 - Cherub

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