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julielovesstars · 2 years ago

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I want you (Cole Walter x reader)

Summary: When the storm hits the ranch and most of the family is at Will's evening party Y/n and Cole are left to talk in the candle light, which could end either beautifully or tragically as they navigate whatever is happening between them.

Warnings: Death, kissing, swearing

Words: 4.27k

(Not my Gif :) )

“I still can’t believe that I let you take me to that party” I said to Cole as he pulled out candles from the top drawer in the living room.

“I can’t believe that you came,” he turned to me briefly, his eyes beautiful even in the shade of this storm and little light, he turned back to the draw, “I’m glad you were there,” he said, quieter this time, I couldn’t help the ghost of a smile that started to lift the corner of my lips.

“Apart from the fact that I vomited on you right?” I tried to defuse the energy that was building up here with a laugh.

“Eh, could have been worse,” he started and turned around to face me again holding two candles, “Alright this is all of them now,”. We took a couple each and laid them around the kitchen and the living room.

“Can you pass me the lighter from the kitchen?” Cole called from the other room, I picked it out from the ‘anything and everything’ draw that every family has in their house and walked to the other room.

The darkness made it hard to see, but the outline of his frame was as clear as day, it felt as if I knew his frame well enough to find him anywhere.

“Thanks,” he reached for the lighter and our hands touch. As cliché as in every book I’ve ever read and every romcom I’ve ever watched. His hands weren’t soft or rough they were the perfect medium, he’s helped George on the farm since he was young and played football but there was still a compassionate side to him, one that he didn’t like to show.

His thumb brushed over my hand, he looked down briefly and I knew I should pull my hand free and step away, knowing the feelings Alex had for me. Even though he knows I don’t share the same feelings back I would still feel wrong to do this with his brother. Then Cole’s eyes came up to meet mine and he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

“If you want to start lighting up the candles, I’m just going to check the kids are asleep,” I explained rushing towards the stairs with one last gentle smile. That was another good reminder, everyone else may be at some fancy party but we were still looking after the younger Walter siblings.

Just as I had expected they were all still asleep tucked away just how Katherine had settled them down. The Walter’s slept hard, nothing wakes them up, not even a ranging storm with killer winds apparently.

After checking up on all of them I head towards the stairs again, but something catches my eye as I go to lower my foot onto the first step. A little packaged box on a dresser in Cole and Danny’s room. I tear my eyes away from it and take the first step. Yet just as quickly as I looked away, I looked back to the little brown box with the blue bow.

I stepped lightly to avoid any squeaky board; the box was sat there surrounded with a mix of both the boy’s stuff. I raised my brows in confusion, I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, that I was invading their privacy, but the inquisitiveness got the best of me. If it’s Danny’s, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind anyway.

From the handwriting on the note at the top I could immediately tell that it wasn’t Danny’s, his handwriting much neater, almost cursive, which I still found impressive. It just said my name, I opened the folded piece of paper and had to read over the short note a couple of times before it registered.

‘It’s both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply’

My mom’s favorite quote staring right at me. The quote I told Cole that day when…

***

We had just finished our shift at the cider stand, Will and Alex had already packed everything up into the van. Alex was less than impressed by the fact that Cole decided to come out of his depression cocoon to come and help and help he did. He auctioned himself away for an afternoon and helped us raise over double of the money we needed for the new auditorium.

“You fancy a little detour?” He asked, looking away from the road momentarily with a half smirk my way, I shook my head but a light smile still found its way onto my lips.

“What are you thinking?” I asked, I couldn’t disguise that I was curious, getting to know Cole was hard. Some days he was rays of sunshine and an open book other days, most days, he shut himself out, hiding behind a carless façade. I was guilty of the fact that I wanted him to sweep me away for a while into his own world.

“It’ll have to be a surprise,” he said, the smile still there when he looked bacl onto the road, I may have not been here long yet but I knew the second he took a different turn. We drove through some more woodlands until we came to a clearing, the sky absolutely clear.

When I stepped out of the car a fresh breeze flushed against my skin, it was refreshing.

“So… what do you think?” he says walking ahead of me. I followed not too far behind looking around taking in the surroundings. The river flowed surrounded by more trees and low rocks.

“It’s really beautiful here,”

“Alright come on then!” He shouted louder as he started to run towards the river

“Cole where are you going!” I called back, stood still watching him.

“Well we can’t go home now!” He turned around momentarily, gesturing me over with his hands. I shook my head and shut the car door, following behind him, my hair flowing in the wind beneath my hat.

When I finally caught up the sound of the gushing river was clearer and there he stood on some rocks, his back to me, jacket on the ground. He reached down to grab something, I stepped onto the same rock, more cautiously than him.

“There, for you,” he pushed the flower he was holding out towards me. I eyed him cautiously, his teasing side coming out, “Come on, I’m being nice,” his head tilted slightly.

I gave in reaching for the purple flower, he pulled it back a little with a laugh and I shook my head slightly, he pushed it my way again but lets me take it this time. In the exact same moment, he steals the hat off my head.

“Hey!” I shouted going to reach for it, he moves away, flaunting the hat in different directions, taunting me with it, “This is not fair,” I claimed moving towards him away. He’s laughing and I’m laughing, and it feels like a weight lifted off my chest.

I stop for a second, Cole stops too a moment later, that cheeky smile playing his lips. In that moment of calm I reached for the hat and his coat that was now next to my feet.

“Hey that wasn’t part of the rules!” He called coming after me this time, I’ve suddenly gained the confidence that I won’t fall into the water.

“Oh sorry, didn’t realize there were any rules,” I answered in the same tone, I moved another couple of steps and turned to start running onto the grass. Cole’s arms found their way around me as he tried for the jacket. I turned my head to face him, our faces centimeters apart. He pulled me closer laughing into the back of my neck.

“Okay okay, draw?” He asked his breath still on the back of my neck

“Deal,” I said taking a step forward as his grip eased, his hands followed the shape of my waist until the comforting touch was gone. He took the jacket and laid it out on the rock, laying down on half of it. I sat down next to him on the jacket as well.

“Do you feel any better now?” He asked after a moment of silence, my eyes focused on the river. The last couple of days have been rough, not only was I feeling homesick for New York, it had also officially been six months since the accident. It was all overwhelming, especially with Erin giving me a hard time.

I let out a breath before answering, “Yeah, thanks for this,” I said turning to look at him, he smiled and nodded, his arms followed behind his head. Whilst I knew a part of him took me here to make me feel better, I knew it was so that he could get away for himself too. We weren’t running from reality exactly, but taking a break.

“You know what my mom used to say?” I said laying down beside him, he turned on his side, leaning his head against his arm so he was looking down at me, “she always said that it’s both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply,” I put a hand over my brows to guard them from the sun, and so I could see his face, hoping he understood what I was saying, I was here if he needed to talk. No matter how much he was hiding behind his persona I knew that he cared.

He nodded and laid back down, taking a deep breath. It didn’t feel like we were there for that long with the sun glimmering on our faces, it wasn’t until a call from Katherine came through that I realized that we’d been here for well over an hour.

“We should probably get back, mom does not like it when we don’t make it home for dinner,” he said getting up and offering me his hand. I squinted my eyes but reached for the help, of course he pulled back his hands ever so slightly. I shooed him away and went to get up myself.

“I’m not falling for that again,” I laughed.

“Oh come on I’m sorry,” he pulled that face where his eyes were the center of the universe it was truly quite mesmerizing. I reached my hand out again grabbing his jacket in the other and passing it to him. I walked a few steps ahead and he put it around my shoulders and we walked back to the car.

***

Underneath all the tissue paper there lays the small, beautiful music box that Parker accidentally knocked over; it was no longer smashed to pieces. I opened it and immediately the little figurine inside started to swirl around and a low song started to play.

I could feel the tears beginning to build in my eyes, my lips shaking. I closed the box and pulled it close to myself, arms around it tightly. The quote was right, these feelings were a blessing and a curse. They made me feel happy and good but on the other hand I feel like I’m betraying one for another.

“So, Y/n are you going to make me this famous hot chocolate of yours?” Cole says from the bottom of the stairs, I push the music box back into the little packages and press the note back at the top laying it back in the exact spot it was before. My heart beating twice as violently as it was before. I try even harder not to make a sound leaving his room.

“Coming!” I whisper-yelled back, in the kitchen now lit up by about a dozen candles it was clear how dark it was outside, I was glad that we managed to clear everything from the yard into the barns before the rain started.

“I’ve got everything prepped,” he said proudly and in the little candlelight it was as if I was seeing his face people for the first time. In the silence, no distractions, and his smile protruding through even the worst of the weather.

“If you take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he retorted, and I looked away with a scoff.

“Yeah, you wish, I guess I didn’t realize how bad it was outside until now,”

“It’ll be alright, it’s predicted to be a minor storm, the ranch has survived much worse. There was this really bad one once when I was about eight. I genuinely thought the wind was going to rip out the foundations of the house, or the rain was going to break through the roof and drown us,” he laughed to himself, pushing the two mugs towards me alongside the chocolate power, milk, vanilla and some other ingredients I asked for.

“I imagine how that could be scary for an eight year old,” I reassure working my magic with my ingredients.

“Don’t worry I’ll keep you safe tonight,” the teasing in his voice clear, he took a step towards me his face beside mine but I focus on the coco powder. It just feels like every time we could be having a moment, something vulnerable and real he disconnects. He’s said he’s a flirt and maybe that’s just that- but then what about the note and my music box?

“Haha you’re just so funny, are you just trying to hide the fact that you’re still scared?” I retort, keeping my composure, pushing his face away with one of my hands, he takes a step back and laughs shaking his head.

“Whatever makes you feel better New York,” he comments watching me heat up the milk.

He holds both our mugs as we make our way into the living room, it’s even prettier in here, he’s started the fire and lit up all the candles around it. I can’t help but give him a smile, there’s a spot perfect for the two of us.

“Go on try it,” I prod after we sit down, he looks down in the mug first and smells it, “I’m not trying to poison you if that’s what you think,”

“Alex would like it if you were,” he laughs lifting the mug to his lip, he takes a big sip and licks the whipped cream off of his top lip.

“Don’t say stuff like that, you guys may fight but you’re brothers it’s bound to happen, but you care for each other and I know he would protect you with all he’s got,” I assure him, he doesn’t say anything back to this, he avoids the subject like the plague even when he’s the one who brings it up.

“This-,” he says instead, looking down at the mug in his hand again, I couldn’t read his face if I tried, one of his brows raises for a split second as if he’s trying to organize all his thoughts about the chocolate. I know that it’s good but, in this moment, I’m metaphorically sat on the edge of my seat, eager to know his thoughts. “Is amazing, sweet and spicy at the same time, who the hell came up with this?”

The second those words come out of his mouth I feel myself beginning to be able to breathe again, the tension in my shoulders dissipates and I reach for my mug, “I did tell you, have some more confidence in me Cole,” I announce proudly and take a sip of the angelic drink.

His eyes watched me, I could feel his stare everywhere on my body, as if he was actually trailing his fingers over my skin.

I put the mug down, half gone already, Cole let out some sort of laugh and shifted closer to me, his hand reached towards my face, and I was frozen. My eyes watching his and his watching mine. Almost automatically my body and face shifted towards him. A smirk quired up on one side of his mouth. He brushed his thumb across my top lip.

“You had a bit of… whipped cream,” he said moving back just enough to show me, he licked it off his finger. Were either of us to move even slightly we could break the distance between us.

I’m scared. Sat here with him like this feels like a fever dream, like any second a sudden move could shatter this illusion, because this couldn’t be real, any second he’s going to pull back with some sort of snarky comment, and I’ll look like a fool.

But he wasn’t moving, and neither was I.

“I saw the music box, you fixed it,” I whispered into the space between us, my voice sounding as though it could break any moment.

“Nothing is ever too broken to be fixed, that’s something else your mom used to say right?” he whispered back, the shadows of the candles and the fire danced across his face.

“I hope you know how much that means to me. Thank you.” I was raw and honest, even with the things between us left unsaid, for the better, he deserved this, “For the music box, for my mom’s quotes, for letting me see the glimpses of the real you,” with each word my heartbeat sped up.

“I would do anything for you if you let me,” He murmured as if speaking any louder would smash this fragile thing happening around us right now. The tip of his finger grazes across my cheekbone, his eyes follow the line. I never feel his touch, just the ghost of it, sending shivers through my body that I try my best to keep from showing.

I scan his face, every beautiful angle and feature that makes him perfect, just the way he is.

I want to. I want to let him in so badly, to let him know every corner of my heart, I want to be fully immersed in whatever this is we’re building here, for him to have me, for me to have him but all that comes out is, “I want to,” because the foundations were building here are rocky and not stable.

His gaze shifts from my one eye to the other then to my lips and again.

“But you can’t because of…” he lets out so quietly I almost miss it

“I don’t have any feelings for him Cole,” there was a shift in his expression at my words, a guilty smile, “but he’s your brother, he’s one of my closest friends and he lives here too, this isn’t just about us, there’s your family,” I argue, but my excuses are sounding weak even to myself.

He moved closer, his knee touching mine, his breath warm.

Without further thought I laced my arms around his neck, running my fingers from the sides to the back pulling him close. A simple kiss, which did not last long enough. It was short, controlled. I pulled back realizing what I had just done. Maybe we just needed it out of our systems.

Still no words were exchanged, we just looked at each other. I knew I needed to move, to get up and out of the room but when his hand found its way to my forearm and pulled me towards him, I just gave in.

His hands explored my neck, cheeks and hair as the kiss became more passionate. I could feel my cheeks glowing a bright red, thankful it would be too hard to see in this light. Finally, he settled them on either side of my face whilst one of my hands found its place on his neck, the other exploring the honey-blonde hair on the nape of his neck.

I don’t know how long we were kissing but when he pulled away to look at me I knew it hadn’t been long enough. Both our chests heaving, me certain that my heart was about to give out. It felt so right I couldn’t let this slip away from me.

I grabbed onto his neck and pulled him towards me again. The kiss wasn’t rough, but it was filled by a burning need. All those months of the back and forth, the uncertain, the toying around the subject and now finally. Finally, I got to feel what this burning passion meant. What I’ve never felt with anyone else.

His hand one hand travelled to my neck, his thumb brushing comfortingly, his other pulling me towards him, I don’t know how much closer we could get until he was pulling me onto him. My legs on either side of his body. Chest to chest. Only clothes between us.

“Cole,” I whispered when his mouth travelled down my jaw to my neck kissing every inch of exposed skin. He paused cautiously, checking with his eyes that I was okay, that he wasn’t taking it too far. I nodded entangling my hand in locks, the hot chocolate long forgotten.

It was a euphoric feeling until my heart stopped when we heard the door open. I pushed off his lap and he helped me up.

“Hey, are you guys alright the lights aren’t-” Alex stopped when he made it to the doorframe to the living room, his eyes quickly found mine, then Cole’s, he hadn’t seen anything, no one would know, but even just seeing us here together, surrounded by candles could give anyone the impression.

“The storm blew out the electric box,” I said, my walls building right back up, keeping this eye contact while I could see the hurt in his eyes was more painful than I could have imagined but I couldn’t look away, then he’d know something had in fact happened. The light came back on with a click in the hallway.

“It’s because of the storm, what happened?” George asked walking into the living room, Katherine beside him, she gave me a weak smile.

“I’m going to check up on the kids, you guys make sure all the candles are blown out, let’s not start any fires tonight,” she added a cheerful tone and a chuckle but the still the tension in the room could probably be cut with a knife. Whether she meant literally or metaphorically I agreed with her, I did not want anything to explode between these two Walter boys.

“She managed to get it to work for a few minutes, but it gave out again, we thought it would be safer to leave the box alone,” Cole confirmed to his dad who nodded in agreement. I didn’t look at Cole as he volunteered to help his dad with the candles in the kitchen.

I thought Alex would say something when we were left alone. It looked like he really wanted to say something, but he just shook his head slightly and ran upstairs. I bit into my bottom lip and closed my eyes. It’s not like I hadn’t told him that I didn’t feel the same way, still the guilt washed over like a destructive wave. I took a deep breath and after a second started to blow out the candles before heading up to my bedroom.

***

I tossed and turned every few minutes in my bed for what felt like hours. I heard someone come out of their room half an hour ago, I assumed it was one of the Walter’s going to the toilet, but the person went downstairs, and was yet to come back up. Something in me knew it was Cole, he probably couldn’t sleep like me.

After another few restless minutes, I let out a huff and sat up in bed. All of the emotions were still buzzing and brewing inside my body. I threw my comforter off me and put on a hoodie and some outdoor slippers. Before I knew it, I was tip-toeing my way downstairs hoping I was doing a better job than whoever had gone down before me.

Walking out the front door I could see the beginning of the sunrise, at what looked like the other end of the world, out there in the fields the first sights of amber and yellow were rising out of the grass in the horizon.

I spotted Cole immediately sitting on the railing looking out at the view. The ranch was truly a magnificent sight, it was breathtaking, how could anyone not fall in love with this place just seeing this.

I stepped on one of the weaker wooden panels which let out a single sound, Cole looked around instantly, but the smile that shone on his face mere hours ago was not there now.

“I won’t break my brother’s heart ever again” he starts solemnly, “But I can’t not want you, how could I not?” he looked at me, the tears in my eyes are again threatening to spill. He hopped down and walked over to me. Nothing more said.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, laying his head on top of mine. I laced my arms around his torse, holding him tightly in the quiet of the post-storm, looking out at sunrise like it was a painting in a gallery to be looked at for hours.

“Your mom was right when she said it’s a blessing and a curse to feel so deeply” he whispered into my hair and I just tightened my hold on him. She was always right, and hell did I wish she was here now to tell me what I can do to make this all stop hurting.

What’s happened can’t be taken back now, the consequences long-term are yet to be seen and I suppose I’ll just have to take it day by day. Navigate this chaos of events and feelings. Hoping that it’ll all work out.

MASTER LIST

#cole walter x reader #cole walter #my life with the walter boys #mlwtwb #alex walter #jackie howard #netflix #danncy walter #cole x reader

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nikosdaydreams · 1 year ago

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Team Black I'm so sorry but can we stop going like "☝️🤓 erm acshually the blacks won because rhaenyra and daemons son became king L greens jumphaera nee ner nee ner" every time there's a discussion on Rhaenyra's or Aegon's deaths? Not only is it an exhausting and weird argument, but it's also simply not true.

Yes, a line carrying on is very important in ASOIAF, but at the end of the day, nobody won. As important as it is, it does not mean victory.

Rhaenyra still died thinking her son's death was next. As a mother, how could you feel victorious knowing your young child is most likely days from being killed? And that's without considering the fact that three of her children are already dead.

Aegon only made it six months after her before getting poisoned, having seen Sunfyre die, having mourned both his sons, his sister-wife and his brothers, having been burned and disabled by dragonfire.

Alicent began the war with four children (that she never asked for, mind you) and ended it with none, spending her final days in heartbreak and madness.

Aegon III was known for being extremely depressed throughout his reign. Who wouldn't be, after watching his mother be killed so violently and horribly? They say in his reign, Aegon did not even smile, and it was in his reign that dragons fell out of favour in the Targaryen dynasty.

Jaehaera was also known to be a sad, quiet child. She had watched as her twin brother's head was struck from his body. She had likely heard of her younger brother's violent and inhumane death at Bitterbridge. She hadn't been there when her mother could take it no more and jumped to her death. Her father was poisoned just when they thought he had won. She was then married off at 8 to the son of the man who had ordered the death of Jaehaerys, the son of the woman who had a massive hand in the death of Maelor, and by extension, her mother. Her grandmother, her last living relative, then tried to get her to kill her husband, after which she was placed under house (room?) arrest and she likely never saw her again. Even if she wasn't overwhelmed with grief and pain (which she definitely would be), she wasn't even queen for long enough to make much of a difference.

Rhaenyra and Daemon are dead. Aegon, Helaena, Aemond and Daeron are dead. Alicent is insane. Otto is dead. Jace, Luke and Joffrey are dead. Jaehaerys and Maelor are dead. Rhaenys is dead. Criston Cole is dead. Aegon III is scarred for life. Jaehaera is also scarred for life. Viserys II is nowhere to be found. Pretty much all of the dragons are dead.

The point I'm making is, nobody wins. All of them either died in fear and horror and fire and blood or survived in horrific mental and/or physical pain for the rest of their lives.

"There are no winners. Only survivors." - Haymitch Abernathy

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episodes-ff · 9 months ago

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Push

Yes, I got inspired by that damn gym video of that fine ass Aaron😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 CAN YOU REALLY BLAME A MF?!?!??! Y’all enjoy though…

Terry

“Push harder. Harder! Yeaaaa, just like that, baby. More effort like that gets you the results you want. C’mon, Mama, I know you got it in you.” “Terry, stopppp.” Anaya whimpered sinking to the turf as I sighed at her exasperated expression. “Come on, Ny, you had a couple more left.” “No, I need a break.” As if on cue, Maya’s cries could be heard from the baby monitor in the corner. “Great. I’ll go get her.” “Nah, baby, just relax. I got it.” I persisted pecking her sweaty forehead before jogging into the house. Hearing her cries get more and more fussy, I quickly made it to her nursery to come to her rescue. “Heyyyyy hey hey! Who did it, fat?” I cooed walking in to see a couple drops of tears and a permanent frown as she reached up for me. “Come here, fat mama. Daddy’s here, I know. What’s wong, pwetty baby.” I simpered kissing her chubby cheeks as she wiped her tired eyes and messy hair. Inspecting her diaper and making sure she was ok, I fed and rocked her back to sleep before coming back to the gym in our garage. “Is she ok?” “Yea, she just got hungry and wanted to be held a little.” Nodding in understanding, she stared at her flaws in the mirror as I frowned in disapproval.

“Anaya, you only gone make yourself unhappy picking yourself apart like that.” “Terry, I can’t help it ok? I just don’t feel beautiful anymore.” “Hey, quit that shit man.” I spat pulling her into me as she sighed into my chest. “You are the most amazing woman I have ever met in my life, Ny. Quit fucking downing yourself. You know that shit be pissing me off.” I gritted as she stared at me on the brink of tears. I hate postpartum depression, with everything in my fucking soul. Anaya used to be so vibrant and full of life! We actually met in the gym funny enough. Now, she’s a shell of herself. She puts on a brave act but I see right through it.

**SIX YEARS AGO**

Walking into the gym, I smirked dapping up the trainers and workers as I headed into the locker room to drop my bag. Securing my items, I poured my supplements into my bottle and headed back out to the water fountain to fill up. “Ayeee, Terry! Wassup man?” My homie, E, smiled tapping my shoulder. “Nun much, you know I had to come get that workout in.” “I feel you, man, I feel you. Might catch a view or two while you at it.” “Is that so?” I replied taking a glance around at all the beautiful women in the building as I bit my lip. “Hell yea, it’s some bad ones in here today.” “Bet, thank you for looking out.” “Shiiiit, you already know.” He smiled flashing off the numbers he got as I chuckled. “See you around, fool.” “You too, bruh.” He grinned walking out the door.

Shaking up my bottle, I headed over to the machine of choice for my warmup… the treadmill. Sending a few winks and smiles as I made my way, I narrowed in on this fine light skin making her way to the treadmills as well. She got it all, man. Stylish as hell, thick in all the right places, beautiful as a motherfucker. She’s 90’s Nia Long type of fine and my handsome ass had to make a move on that. Coasting over to the treadmills, I picked the machine right beside her and began stretching so she could see all my masculine glory. Finishing the stretch, I cut on my machine and started lightly jogging before matching her pace. Stealing glances at her as she vibed to whatever was playing in her Beats headphones, I turned my machine up a little more in an attempt to show off my skills. After about 20 minutes of silence, she ended her warmup before cutting the machine and heading off to her next set, all without so much as a glance in my direction.

Completing her workout as I watched from an unnoticeable distance, she finished the last of her reps before ridding the sweat from her brows and making sure she had all of her belongings to head out. “Now’s your chance, Tee.” I coached under my breath before traipsing toward her and the exit. “Excuse me, miss?” Looking up in confusion, she motioned for me to hold on before pausing her playlist and removing her buds. “Ummm, yes?” “I know this might seem kinda forward but I was noticing you earlier and I couldn’t let you leave without expressing how beautiful you are. Like you drop dead gorgeous, miss. Mona Lisa is having a hard time competing with you…” I smiled confidently as I stared at her intently biting my lip.

“Was I supposed to swoon or something? Do you say this to every woman you meet?” She remarked shooting me down as my face faltered at the first time rejection. “N-Nahhhh, I was just looking to compliment you.” “You were looking to get some ass.” “Mama, it’s not even like that.” I chuckled nervously as she narrowed her eyes and proceeded to cross her arms. “Oh really? What’s your name?” “Terry, but you can call me Tee.” “Oh really, Tee, is it? How many women could I stop right now that would testify that you’ve hit on them this week, Mr. Tee? Is there a woman in here besides myself that you haven’t talked to?” She questioned reading me like a book. “U-Ummm.” “I figured as much.” “My apologies, Missssss?” “Anaya.” She grumbled as I scrambled to recover from this failed shot. “Let me be more honest…” I said as she motioned for me to proceed. “I noticed you earlier by the machines and I found myself quite attracted to your beauty. Not because I wanna hit or anything like that. I was just hoping I could get your number and get to know you better and vice versa.” I rambled on nervously as she pierced my demeanor. “Much much better.” She smiled lighting my insides as my cheeks flushed with heat. “So, is that a yes?” “No.” She replied flatly before retreating to her car and driving off as I laughed in utter disbelief. Did she really just tell me no?

Anaya

Entering my cozy apartment, I cut on the lights before calling out to my man. “Baeeee! Sebastian, I’m home!” Watching him scurry over to me, I smiled meeting his appreciative kisses at my feet. “Hey, my baby! You missed mama! Good boy! Hi! You so handsome!” I cooed massaging and tickling his luxurious coat. “Let’s go for a walk, baby boy.” I commanded placing his leash on before locking my doors back and letting him out to use the restroom. Finishing his business, I brought him back inside before starting on dinner for the evening.

“Hmmm, what about some steak tonight?” Barking in agreement, I smiled before pulling out all of my necessary items to make pepper steak with plantain, curry sauce, and rice and peas. Looking and realizing I was missing some ingredients for the curry sauce and that I would have to go back out, I groaned before sniffing myself and further frowning at the rancid sweaty smell. “Ok, baby, mama has to run back outside.” I groaned rolling my eyes as I trekked into my bedroom and grabbed my shower essentials. Finishing the quick shower, I dressed in a cute fit before throwing a couple spritz of perfume on and securing my shoes. Snapping a few pictures, I placed my phone in my bag and put some food and water into Bash’s cage before locking him back up and making my way back outside.

Declining on stopping at a regular store, I opted for the Caribbean market for the more traditional and fresher options. Grabbing a cart just in case, I started the journey through the aisles of the store. Realizing I was out of fruit for my smoothies, I perused the mangos and other tropical fruits before picking up some choices. “I should have made a list.” I mumbled to myself as I got preoccupied with the different delicacies in the store. Turning the corner to the spices, I spotted the guy from the gym earlier and cursed silently to myself. Terry or something like that. He looked as breathtaking as he did in the gym, it was his arrogance that made my damn skin crawl and he oozed with it. Ignoring his presence so he wouldn’t notice me, I browsed the dry spices before getting stuck on which level of jerk spice I would prefer to use for the night.

Feeling his electric gaze on me, I continued ignoring him and settled for the mild flavor before placing it into my cart. “Anaya, right?” He asked stopping me in my tracks as I looked up to meet his beautiful smile. “It must be fate, mama.” “You’re stalking me now?” “Hey hey hey, you in my neck of the woods.” “How so?” “C’mon, when have I ever seen you in here?” “I’m in here very frequently, you’re the new face.” I quipped as he smirked. “So jos chuu mi lait skin, mi kyaahn bi Jumiekan?” He asked making me giggle uncontrollably. “Ok, that impersonation was horrible!” “But you see it made you pretty ass smile.” He countered biting his lip as I flushed red. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ter-“ “Terry?! Mi lef yuh alone fi a few minutes an yuh get distracted tryn’ fi chat to gyal?” A beautiful woman fussed as he straightened up and turned around. “Ma, I wasn’t chatting. I was getting ready to head back with the spices.” He sighed apologetically. “Mmmhm, nice to meet you sweetheart. You have eyes for my son? He was a Marine, y’know.” “Maaa.” He complained as I giggled at he and his mother’s banter. Watching him gently walk her away, he mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ as I shook my head.

Finishing up my food, I fed Bash a couple strips of steak before making a glass of wine to go with my food and sitting on the couch to pick a movie. Snuggling up under a blanket, I took a quick selfie before posting it to Snapchat and relaxing. Diving deep into the movie, I felt my phone vibrate before looking down to see it was a Snap notification. Clicking on it, I saw I had a new added friend from a TR_thaGod. Adding the person, a quick message popped up causing me to roll my eyes and smile.

From TR_thaGod: I found you, Mama. I’d say that’s some crazy ass fate or sum, right?

**PRESENT DAY**

Thinking back on how Terry and I’s relationship started to where we are now, I smiled admiring him as he demonstrated the next exercise he wanted me to try. Biting my lip as I smiled at how blessed I was to have someone like him, I walked over as he collected himself with some water. Stopping in front of him, he eyed me warily as I met his stare. “You ok, Mama?” Nodding, I leaned in and hugged his waist close as he chuckled. “I’m not opposed to the loving, but what’s going on?” “I’m just really lucky to have you in my corner, baby.” I simpered nuzzling my face into his chest. “Nahhhh, I’d say I’m the lucky one, Mrs. Richmond. Shit, who knows who you would have ended up with had I not ran into you at the gym.” He cringed jokingly as I giggled at his teases. Hearing baby girl’s cries again, we both went into the nursery before she whined and babbled reaching for Terry. “Nnnnnnn, Dada.” She murmured squeezing her little fists open and closed as we stared in shock. “Did she just?” “Baby, she said Dada!” I squealed in delight as Maya looked at us both crazy still crying to be held. “You said your first words, fat mama? Say it again. Say Dada.” “Da! Dadadada. Da…” She babbled as he cuddled her with joy and teared up. Wiping his silent tears, I kissed her forehead and his as I admired my gorgeous family. I just needed a little push.

Tags (based on reactions, if you’d like to be added or removed let me know): @violetmuses @believeinthefireflies95 @brisunique @kaylaahisthebestest- @madxlov3 @armandosbabymama @casualsludgeshoetoad @mauvecherie-writes @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @theereina @kumkaniudaku @geneziesm @megamindsecretlair @simpledopeme

#episodes-ff #fanfiction #Terry Richmond #Aaron Pierre #Anaya Ivy #Anayal8ter #hasta el fuego

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mydemimonde · 2 years ago

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my tears ricochet — aemond targaryen x reader one-shot

warnings: angst with no happy ending. mention and description of miscarriage, depression, character death, aemond being an asshole. no beta reading! i like alys but i needed to make her kind of a bitch for this

words: 4500ish

A/N: i hope you like this little piece of writing, took me like five hours lmao. english is not my first language so expect some mistakes. i have an upcoming fic with aemond x oc, if you're interested in reading it, here's a sneak peak. enjoy your reading! ♡

We gather here, we line up Weeping in a sunlit room, and If I’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too

The words that left Aemond’s mouth cut deep in your skin. Your heart was heavy, a huge sharp pain was pressing your chest and you felt like vomiting. You were thankful you were sitting, otherwise your legs would have failed you.

Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, you could only hear his muffled voice, as if it was distant. The air grew thick with tension as Aemond’s words hung between you two, the Sun lighting the dark room.

“Alys and I…”

You have heard plenty of rumours about your husband and that woman in Harrenhal. You refused to believe them, you were sure your husband was an honourable man who loved you and respected you deeply. But apparently it was not like that.

All you could do was stare blankly at the fireplace, no emotion showing in your face, your hands together on your lap and some tears falling down on your cheeks, while he kneeled before you, explaining to you what happened, tears spilling from his eyes at the fact that he betrayed you. His dear wife.

“I swear to you, Y/N” he placed his hand on his chest, his voice broken and barely above a whisper “there is nothing else between us. I ended the matter”.

You stopped a bitter laugh from escaping your lips. Ended the matter? That was far from happening, you were sure of it. That morning, when he arrived with Cole and his men, a brunette lady in a green dress came as well.

Oh, yes. He even dared to bring her to the Keep.

According to Aemond, before he confessed his betrayal, that woman was an important asset to win the war for the Iron Throne against his half-sister and uncle. She could see things before they happened, she had visions and he needed her.

But to you, it was beyond that.

How could he betray you in that way and have the audacity to bring the woman he betrayed you with to your home? How could he do such a thing to you after everything you had to endure?

Memories of the weeks after you lovely wedding flashed through your mind.

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day

“I’m so sorry, Aemond,” you said in between sobs, hiding your face from him. You were sitting on your shared bed after the maester left your chambers. It was your second failed pregnancy, apparently you were not fertile enough for a healthy one.

The world shattered around you, you wanted to cry and scream until your throat hurt, you wanted to set everything on fire. You were not capable of keeping a child safe in your womb, you were not capable of giving your husband an heir.

“Shh, my sweet love,” Aemond’s voice was soft, his hand caressing your back as the other went to take your hands and uncover your face. Your eyes and nose were red and puffy, tears still streaming down your cheeks. He wiped the tears with his thumb and hugged your shaking figure, trying to calm you down. “Listen to me. This was not your fault. None of it”

“But, Aemond, I-”

“No,” he interrupted, looking at you with a serious expression. “Do not blame yourself for this. It is a terrible thing that happened, yes. But by no means was it your fault, I want you to understand that” his thumb stroked your cheek as you regained your breath.

“Aemond, you heard the maester. I’m incapable of giving you a child” water began to pool in your eyes again, remembering what the wise man told you with a sorrowful look.

He nodded. “Yes, I have heard him. But I do not love you less for that. Y/N, I love you for being you, my dear wife. Not for what you can or cannot give me. I only care and crave for your love.”

You believed every word he said, every promise, every look directed at you and every touch he gave you. Oh, how stupid you felt now.

Since you were not looking at him nor saying anything, he took your hands in his. That caught your attention and you flinched, finally looking at him.

With a quivering and threatening voice, you managed to say: “Get out”.

After that morning, you still slept in the same chambers and bed. You slept on your edge of the bed, turning your back to him, while he slept on his side. Sometimes you felt him staring at you, he would try to touch you or talk to you, but you were very clear to him. You needed time to think, needed time to forgive him, and he decided to respect that.

However, after feeling the bed shift every night while you pretended to sleep and hearing his footsteps early in the morning right before waking up, you decided you would not forgive him.

You cried into your pillow every time he left, spending the night in another chamber. Her chambers.

Soon you began feeling terribly sick, you would wake up with nausea, vomiting your breakfast and with awful migraines.

“You are with child, princess” the maester’s words echoed in your head, trying to assimilate them.

“That… that’s impossible” you shook your head and smiled sadly. “I have already lost two. I am not capable of carrying a healthy pregnancy” you repeated the words the maester had told you several moons before.

The old man chuckled. “You are almost three moons in, princess” you blinked. “You need to trust this old man. This one is safe. But listen very carefully” his expression turned serious, your eyes wide with surprise as you nodded. “It is imperative that you follow a healthy diet to keep this child safe. You must avoid all kinds of strong emotions and stressful situations.”

Oh. Right.

You just nodded, taking mental note of his suggestions. “Thank you, master”.

He left your chambers and you stayed there, standing next to the fireplace, a hand lingering on your belly. You were now with child. Aemond’s child. You swallowed hard and took a deep breath, thinking about what to do next, but especially about how you were feeling.

Happy? Relieved? Sad? It was all a mix of feelings that made you uneasy. You’ve been confirmed that this was a safe pregnancy, or at least it was if you followed the maester’s instructions. You should be happy, right?

But after remembering what Aemond had told you weeks before and his activities during the nights, you realised that happiness was impossible. You were unsure if after you told him the news, he would stop seeing her. After all, he promised their affair would cease, and he did not keep his word.

The sound of someone knocking on the door pulled you from your trance. “Yes?”

Queen Alicent, your mother-in-law stepped in the room. Her eyebrows were furrowed, a worried look in her face. “My dear, I have seen the maester come from your chambers”. She came closer to you, examining you and taking one of your hands in hers. “Is there anything wrong?”

You opened your mouth to say something, but you could not find the words. “I- uhm” you cleared your throat and looked at your hands. “I’m fine, your Grace”

Alicent tilted her head. “You’re with child, aren’t you?” you lifted your head, your gaze wide and lips parting. She only smiled. “A mother notices things. I have noticed you have been feeling ill. Nausea and migraines” she explained, leading you to sit down on the edge of the bed. “I started with the same symptoms when I had Aegon in my womb. And from the look on the maester’s face, it appears that you and the baby will be safe”

You just blinked at her words. Certainly, mothers can notice things.

“Indeed, your Grace” suddenly you felt like crying. “I do not know how to tell Aemond, he-” you closed your eyes and looked at your hands. You took a deep breath as Alicent caressed your hair. You looked back up at her. “I know he has been seeing that witch every night. I see him do that. He swore to me he would stop, but-”

The Queen nodded and grimaced. She did not like that woman either. It was a shame for her that her (favourite) son would bring her mistress there. The fact that he in fact had a mistress was a shame itself. How could he disrespect his wife, his mother and his whole family like that?

Something inside you told you she already knew. “I’m so sorry, my dear” she hugged you and you felt at peace for a moment. Queen Alicent was truly like a mother to you.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

After your conversation with Queen Alicent, you decided to tell Aemond the news. For a moment, you hoped that if he heard what you had to say, he would immediately abandon the witch’s side and come back to you. You may still forgive him after all…

The Queen had arranged a feast in your honour. It would be the moment where you would tell him the news, with the rest of the family. You met Aemond in your chambers, right when you were finishing preparing yourself, you were combing your long hair when he entered the room.

His expression confused you. “I am afraid, my love, that I will not be able to escort you to supper. I have some unattended matter in the Council”

You frowned and felt quite disappointed. “But you will be able to attend, right?” you already felt a wave of desperation through your body. “Your mother has arranged this in our honour, you must not be absent.”

Aemond let out an exasperated sigh that took you by surprise. “I will, Y/N. It is just that I will be joining later with Cole, that is all.”

And so you walked to the Great Hall alone. Aegon, Helaena, Otto and Alicent, as well as some members of the Council —except from Aemond and Cole, of course— were already there, waiting for you.

When Alicent saw you entering the Hall with a blank expression and no sight of Aemond by your side, the corners of her mouth curved downwards. She approached you. “My dear Y/N, where is Aemond?”

You lifted your eyebrows. “He said he would be late. He had matters to attend in the Council.”

Her expression softened as she caressed your arm. “Well then, come with me. Let us have a seat and we may wait for him” you followed the Queen and sat next to her, to her right. There was an empty seat next to you, meant for Aemond.

You fidgeted with your hands on your lap, anxiety coursing through your veins as you lifted your head to glance at the doors. You have been there waiting for almost twenty minutes, the musicians were already playing some quiet music, the sound of people chatting filled your ears.

Suddenly, the doors opened. Everyone stood up from their chairs and the music stopped. It was Ser Criston Cole who entered. Alone. He found your gaze in the crowded room, a sorrowful and sorry look on his face.

Nothing could have prepared you for what you had to witness later. Your husband made his way into the Hall, with Alys Rivers on his arm next to him.

One of her hands lingered over her belly.

You heard Alicent scoff next to you, shaking her head at the sight. You, on the other hand, could not utter a word. You felt sick to your stomach, you wanted to run away from there. But your feet did not seem to move, it was as if they were glued to the floor.

Aemond met your empty gaze for a few seconds before moving towards the chairs in front of him. He pulled one for Alys, she thanked him with a soft smile that he returned and sat.

You could not stand being there, in the same room as them.

You turned your heels and ran away from there as soon as you could, tears spilling and making your vision blurry as your legs moved fast. You heard footsteps behind you, and a soft grip on your arm made you stop in your tracks. You turned your head and saw Aemond’s eye scanning you, noticing the way your cheeks were damped with your tears.

“Y/N, let us go back to the Hall”

Rage flowed through you like dragonfire. “Get your fucking hands off me!” you yelled with a brittle voice and freed from his grip with a strong tug.

That took Aemond by surprise, his wide eye proving it. You were staring at him like he was the biggest scum in the world. Which he was. And that felt like a dagger through his heart.

“Y/N, my dear, please listen to me” he pleaded with a low voice, trying to reach your hand.

“So now that whore is part of the Council?” you answered bitterly. He did not move nor said anything. “How dare you humiliate me in front of everyone? How dare you disrespect your wife and your mother in such a way?” you spat, nostrils flaring with anger.

Once again, he tried to reason with you. “My love, I promis-” he was interrupted by a slap across his face, startling him.

“Do not fucking call me that” you warned him, waving your index finger to him to turn around and leave to your chambers.

That night, you just let the anger and sadness take over you, sobbing into the pillow as Aemond heard everything outside the door. He stayed there the whole night, his back against the cold door, waiting for you to open it. But you refused to let him in, and so he fell asleep on the floor.

He was awakened by Cole in the early hours of the morning, and since he did not hear an answer when he knocked on the door, he forced it open, searching for you. But you were nowhere to be found.

He called your name, but you did not answer. He just heard some muffled sobs in the toilet, the door was locked. “Y/N? Y/N please, let me in.”

You just muttered a small “Please, leave me alone”. Aemond’s gaze fell to the floor for a few moments, and he was ready to leave you again, you just needed time to think. You would come to your senses again, and you would listen to what he had to say. Everything would be back to normal.

Just when he was ready to leave with Cole, he heard the sound of metal hitting the ground, so he forced the door, worried about you. What he saw made his breath hitch.

You were on your knees on the floor, crying, your hands and the white gown you wore to sleep was covered in blood. Your blood. Your gaze found his, and you managed to yell. “I said leave me alone!”

Aemond fell to your side immediately, ordering Cole to fetch a maester. He began examining you, trying to find the source of the blood, but you were not harmed. He lifted your gown and saw your legs damped with blood as well. He looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Y/N…”

“Almost three moons in” you cut him. “The maester said it would be a safe pregnancy, if I followed his instructions. Avoid stressful situations.”

Aemond’s heart dropped listening to your words. He could not say a word for a while, he just kept looking at you. “I-I’m so sorry, Y/N, I didn’t-”

“Sorry does not change anything” your voice was harsh, your eyes felt like daggers on him. “You chose her over me. You chose her over our marriage, our baby, and now our child is gone. Is gone because of you. You killed it.”

He felt everything around him stop, it was like you took his heart and squeezed hard with your cruel words. But he deserved it. He deserved all your anger, and more.

“Go back to her. She needs you, Aemond, I’m sure she does. The baby she carries needs his father, do not do the same you did to me” you swallowed, watching his reaction.

“Y/N, I told you, we ended everything. She was at supper with me last evening because as you well said, she is part of the Council. She is valuable” he was trying so hard to make you believe his words.

You laughed bitterly. “Do you think I’m stupid, Aemond? I know what you do every night, when I pretend to sleep. I know you go back to her. Every fucking night. You reek of her, Aemond” you sneered at him, letting him see how much you hated him now. “I know for sure she is expecting a child, your child.”

Tears began to spill from your eyes again, but you did not let them fall. You did not wish for him to see you that vulnerable again.

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

After the maester had arrived, he instructed Aemond to leave the chambers. Your words and the way you looked at him with hate, no not hate, repulsion, were still engraved in his mind. As he left the room he heard your sobs, it was a sound that broke his heart. How could he hurt you, his beloved wife? He was responsible for your heartbreak and the loss of your child.

That day he decided he would try once again to have your trust and love back. He sent a maester to Alys’ chambers to give her moon tea. Then, a guard would escort her outside the Keep, a carriage would be waiting for her to return to her home.

He let that affair and bargain destroy his marriage, but he would do anything to amend it.

He went to your shared chambers, it was a cold night, the wind howled outside the Keep and only his footsteps were heard in the corridors. He opened the door, the wind was so strong it threatened to close it, but Aemond was stronger and managed to open it. He expected to see you lying on your bed, resting after the maester gave you some milk of the poppy, but he did not see you there.

Aemond looked around the dark room and found you in your white gown. His heart began to pound fast in his chest, his hands began to shake as he caught sight of you, your feet perched on the window still looking down.

His steps were silent, calculated, trying not to scare you. But you already knew he was there, you heard the door being opened and you knew it was him. You did not look back at him, not even when he was begging you not to do anything insane. He came closer, carefully offering you his hand.

“Y/N please,” his voice gentle yet tinged with desperation. “Step back, please, just take my hand”.

At the sound of his voice, you slowly turned around, facing him with empty eyes. His eyebrows drew together in deep concern, his lips slightly parted. He let out a small sigh of relief as you placed your hand on his palm, but before he could grab it, you gave him what could only be described as a sad smile and slipped through his fingers, letting yourself fall.

Your funeral was held a few days later, Aemond gave Vhagar the command to set your corpse on fire. As Vhagar saw the tears in her rider’s eyes, she let out a loud roar, full of sorrow. Aemond stared at the flames, incapable of moving as his cheeks were wet with warm tears.

As he turned to leave, however, he felt a certain uneasiness. He began looking around the field, and he swore he saw your figure standing behind a tree, watching him. He blinked rapidly, but you disappeared.

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky) And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)

That night after the funeral, Aemond cried silently as he clung to one of your dresses. It still had your smell, it was as if you were right there with him. In the dimly lit room, shadows danced like spectres, casting an otherworldly ambiance.

It was right there, through tear-blurred vision, that he saw you. Your ghostly figure stood next to the window, looking through it, an apparition bathed in a haunting glow. You were sobbing. Aemond's breath caught in his throat, the ache in his chest growing immeasurably.

“Y/N?” he asked with a trembling voice, standing up slowly to approach you. Your sobbing never ceased as you turned to see him. Your eyes were glinted with a seething anger, the tears you shed were like salt in his wounds, a reminder of the pain he had inflicted upon you.

Just before he could get closer to you, you climbed to the window sill. A strangled cry escaped his lips as he realised what you intended. He lunged forward, his hand outstretched in a futile attempt to stop you, but it was too late. You jumped, slipping through his fingers once again.

Aemond could not sleep well. After that, he began seeing you and feeling you everywhere. During his training, when he could not concentrate and fell on his back missing Cole’s attacks, he saw your figure staring at him from the roof. During his visits to the library, in the solemn silence, he could hear your sobs. During supper, he could feel your hand linger over his shoulder, just like the way you used to do.

He would see your reflection in the mirror, looking at him with pure anger, your face contorted with rage.

Every night, the same thing would happen. He would see you standing next to the window, sobbing, turning to glare at him just to jump afterwards. He had to witness your death over and over again, slipping through his fingers. It was driving him insane.

He was sleep deprived. He requested the maesters to give him something so that he could find sleep. However, your late visits never ceased. You continued haunting him, he did not know what else to do to stop this.

One night, there was a storm raging outside, loud thunders and lightning streaking across the sky illuminated the room. Aemond drank the tea the maester had given him earlier, trying to get some rest.

Your sobs interrupted his peaceful sleep. He rubbed his eyes and saw you standing there, looking at him with a mix of rage and sorrow. Before you could repeat the actions from previous nights and climb through the window, he dashed across the room and fell to his knees.

“Y/N, I beg you!” he pleaded through a strangled cry, his hands clutching his chest. You turned your body to him, watching as he cried before you, his other hand covering his face. “I am miserable without you, my love. I am so sorry for the pain and suffering I caused you!”

Your sobs came to a halt, listening to his desperate laments and pleadings. You approached him without saying a word and he lifted his head to look at you.

“I am living in torment, I am in agony, Y/N. I know I hurt you deeply, I know I deserve all of this” he moved his hands, gesturing at the room. “I’ll carry the guilt of what happened to you and our child with me, always.” His voice was full of remorse, his hands shaking terribly as he spoke.

He swallowed and closed his eyes, feeling the weight on his shoulder starting to vanish. He could not apologise to you when you were alive, the guilt ate him. But now he had the opportunity to do so, even if it was too late.

Your hardened expression softened at his words, feeling your heart clenching at the sight of him like this.

“Aemond.” Your voice came out as a haunting whisper, as if the wind carried it, and it reached his ears, sending shivers through his spine. “I cannot leave this place. I am a prisoner here.” You explained as you extended a hand to caress his cheek. Your touch was cold against his skin, but he closed his eyes and leaned into it.

“You caused me great pain, husband. This is why I haunt you every day and night.”

Aemond’s eyes opened and he rose to his feet. He took your pale cold hands in his and looked into your eyes. “I beg you to forgive me, Y/N. I cannot undo the past, I wish I could. But I need you to do that. You need to be free as well, I do not wish you to continue suffering.”

Your brows furrowed and your eyes became watery. “I loved you, Aemond. I loved you til my very last day.”

“I still love you, Y/N. And I apologise for everything. You were too good for me.” A tear ran down his cheek, a bittersweet smile graced his features as the memories of your happy marriage filled his mind. Fragments of your laugh, your smile, the way your eyes would shine with love as you looked at him. Fragments of your life together before his mistakes.

Your foreheads touched. “I loved you, Aemond. But I cannot forgive you” you whispered and he gulped. He could feel your breath fanning his face, your lips were so close to touching.

Aemond did not know if it would be wise to kiss you, but he missed you so much and longed for your touch, your lips, his body and heart ached.

Your hands were carefully placed around his neck, and you chose to close the distance giving him a sweet kiss from your cold clay lips.

The next day after the ferocious storm, Aemond's lifeless form lay on the ground, next to the window. He was found by Cole and Otto, who walked into his chambers after not hearing word from the Prince all morning.

They gathered around him. His eye was closed, his slightly parted lips holding the faintest trace of a serene smile. His death was sudden, and it was said he died from the pain of losing his wife and child. It could have not been an attack, there were no signs of it, no signs from any wound in his body.

There were no signs of violence, other than the strange marks of slender fingers, like ghostly imprints around his neck.

taglist: @moonlightfoxx

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x reader #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen angst #aemond one eye #hotd #hotd aemond #hotd fanfic #ewan mitchell #aemond one shot #mydemimondewrites

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feridilicious · 3 months ago

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I still have to finish the last episode of DR S3 but im going to cryyy haha. This season was OKAY, but MY GOD it was LACKING SO MUCH. S2 was a work of art okay!! You got the mental illness!! The grief!! The cool tournament with a bunch of elements!! And then you have S3!! WHICH WAS...SO DEPRESSING AND DRAWN OUT. I think its nice that Arin and Sora got a bit more development!!! I was hoping they'd reconcile at SOME POINT. But im so annoyed with the whole Arin and Lloyd thing. LIKE, nothing?? You're not even gonna mention how you lost your son pupil in an interdimensional explosion!! And then Arin had to travel with like, the saddest villian ever?? For who knows how long??? DID THIS NOT BOTHER HIM AT ALL. BEING BETRAYED BY HIS OWN STUDENT BECAUSE HE DIDNT DO ENOUGH 😭 (Im also a bit bitter about Arin's parents being dead but we won't talk about that hrm hrm, felt like they were cut off way too quickly) Then you have RAS. the GUY. THE BIG CAT DUDE. He was incapacitated for like, half of the season, and was just generally rude the entire time. Poor Arin had to save his butt like 15 times, and Ras proceeded to complain the entire time and promptly eject out of a crashing aircraft, WHICH ARIN WAS STILL ON MIND YOU. WHAT A GREAT TEACHER AND STUDENT BOND GUYS. The forbidden five were such a disappointment too. Literally learned nothing about them within the span of 10 episodes. (Although i haven't seen the last one yet, maybe a cool thing will happen that explains their background idk). Last i saw though, they croaked. So take that for what it's worth 😭Like, 3 out of 5 of them just suck so much. Why are you so bad at your job. Only to get popped by Thunderfang before you can even do anything. Lameee boo tomato tomato. The Zane and Pixal reunion was nice, and then Zane fake-died again. I remember seeing a bluesky post from his voice actor on here saying "Hope i don't die again this season." You did Zane, for like, idk how long. But you became a cool mech though! So it's okay! Not really sure WHAT you did to explode the train but it was great! Saving Rapton and his hooligan crew was so worth it (I hate Rapton.) Cole also gets like, 10 lines in this season, which is a record high! Thanks Ninjago! The whole Morro thing kinda annoyed me too, not sure why though. 😭 He's turned over a new leaf, but like...i was expecting them to discuss something more important at least. Arin and Morro, i mean. And i was REALLY hoping to see Lloyd and him interact, especially now. But of course, we can't get what we wish for... </3 Anyway on Episode 9 i was a bit miffed because literally, Arin had BOTH prismatic blades, THE THINGS THAT COULD'VE KEPT THEM FROM RELEASING THUNDERFANG. AND HE COULD'VE RAN. BUT NO HE SAW RAS GETTING HIS BUTT KICKED BY NOKT AND HAD TO GO BACK. like SIR WHAT HAS THAT GUY DONE FOR YOU ASIDE FROM TEACHING YOU TO BE ANGRY AT EVERYONE AND HOW TO USE HATE SPEECH. WHAT IS YOUR DEAL.😭 NOW YOU LOST YOUR SWORDS AND EVERYONE IS GONNA DIE FKSKFMS

also hoping Jay reappears during Episode 10, but also you never know (im pretty sure hes coming back...))

Anyway, anyone else have thoughts? :)

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #lego ninjago #lego ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising spoilers #dragons rising s3 spoilers #ninjago spoilers #spoilers #dragons rising s3 #dragons rising #dr s3

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nylqnder · 2 years ago

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ENCHANTED . . . COLE CAUFIELD

summary: an enchanting night with your brother's teammate changes the way you feel about dating

warnings: NOT proof read, drinking, kissing

word count: 2.57k

You pause the episode of Survivor, tuning into the muffled conversation you could hear from the kitchen. It was Nick and Caitlin, although their raised volume indicated that they were arguing, which was bizarre. It had been a bit over 6 months since you’d lived with your brother and his girlfriend and not once had you heard them argue, let alone get in a serious disagreement.

Their voices approached your room accompanied by footsteps. The room is brightened by the hall light as they appear in the doorway, dressed to go out.

“What?” You ask in a monotone voice.

“We’re going to Kirby’s house for a party.” He tells you.

“Okay? Have fun.” You say, wondering why he felt the need to tell you.

“No I mean we as in all of us. You’re coming too.” He says.

You roll your eyes, pulling the comforter over your torso. “I’m not really in the mood for partying with your teammates, Nick.”

“Don’t care. You’re coming with us, y/n.” Nick said, turning on the bedside lamp. “It’s getting a little sad, all of this moping. I mean I’m pretty sure it’s been a week since you’ve seen sunlight.”

“Nick, she just got broken up with, cut her some slack.” Caitlin says from the doorway.

“Thank you, Caitlin. See this is why I like her better than you, she shows me compassion.” You say.

“To hell with compassion.” Nick rolls his eyes. “You guys dated for less than two months, he didn’t even know your middle name.”

“Can’t you just let me be sad?” You ask. “I don’t know why you want me to come with you guys.”

“Because if mom knew that you were just lying in bed, eating chips and binging Survivor, she wouldn’t be happy with either of us.” Nick pointed out your depressing habits. He yanked the comforter off you, taking your laptop and putting it on the desk. “Now get dressed we leave in 15 minutes.”

You groan, watching him walk out of the room with Caitlin shooting you a look of sympathy before she walks out too. Not that he deserves the credit, but Nick was partially right. You had only been dating for two months, so your moping about this one guy was a little extreme, but he was the third guy that you had gone out with only to get dumped less than two months later. It was getting frustrating as you started to wonder if something about you was turning all these guys away.

Another thing he was right about was that you hadn’t left the apartment in over a week. Even you were starting to get a little disappointed in yourself.

You forced yourself out of bed and into your closet to pick out an outfit. You pick out a black miniskirt and a black corset top, finding an oversized leather jacket in the closet to wear over. You got some block-heeled boots to finish off the look.

You have enough energy to get out of bed and get dressed, but not enough to put any effort into makeup or hair. You took my hair out of its braid, tousling it a bit, while putting on a bit of mascara on your eyelashes.

You grab your purse, heading to the living room where Caitlin and Nick are waiting. Nick eyes your outfit, then shakes his head.

“No, that skirt’s way too short, go change.” Nick says. You go to protest but Caitlin speaks before you can.

“Get off her ass, Nick. She looks good.” She says. She hooks her arm with yours as you head out. You get in Nick’s car, the short drive getting you guys to Kirby’s house in a few minutes

Immediately you regret your decision. You thought was going to be just Nick’s teammates but it became apparent that you were wrong as there had to be 100 people in the room. This is the exact opposite environment you wanted to be in at the moment, with sweaty bodies on either side of you as soon as you stepped into the room.

“Nick!” A voice shouts.

Kirby swoops in out of nowhere, scooping up Nick in his arms, giving his captain a hug.

“Hey, Kirbs.” Nick chuckles as he’s put back down.

You quickly zone out of their conversation, looking around the room at the different guests of Kirby’s party. You sport various Habs players and their significant others around the room, but mostly people you don’t know.

It was somewhere in the middle of another unamusing joke that you were prepared to exhibit some forced laughter when you spotted him across the room. His familiar face grinned as he downed the last couple drops of his drink, then began to make his way over to you.

“Hey, boys.” Cole says as he approaches. “Hey, Caitlin.”

“Cole, wassup bud,” Nick says, dapping him up.

Cole turned to you. “Hey, y/n.” He said, a smile tugging on his lips.

The first time you’d met Cole was two years ago during the Stanley Cup Finals when Montreal played Tampa. It was Cole’s first year in the league, and you had just wrapped up your sophomore year at Western.

At the time, you’d developed a small crush on your brother’s teammate. It was nothing huge, truly just a passing crush, like the ones you’d had on the boys you’d see once in your lectures.

Then you transferred to McGill and moved in with Nick. Cole became a frequent presence in your life, being a good friend of your brothers. Your once ‘small crush’ bloomed into something stronger. But Nick had already made it clear long ago that he didn’t want you crushing on any of his teammates. Ever.

So, you moved on. You let your crush on Cole get shoved down deep as you moved on to other guys.

“Nick!” Someone shouted from within the house.

Suddenly Chris Wideman is pushing through people, barreling towards your brother and engulfing him in a hug.

“C’mon man, you’ve gotta see Slaf right now.” He says.

Within seconds, Kirby, Nick, and Caitlin are out of the room, leaving just you and Cole. He looks over at you but you avoid eye contact.

“Did Nick drag you here?” Cole asks, making you finally look at him.

Oh, his eyes.

“How’d you know?” You ask.

“I’ve seen you smile, like a real smile, and the entire time Kirby was talking and cracking jokes and you were smiling? That was not a real smile.” He says.

He notices my smile?

“Um, yeah. Nick forced me here. Pulled the brother card.” You say, making Cole laugh. “I would genuinely rather be anywhere else, parties aren’t really my thing.”

Cole looks around, then back to you.

“Listen, I’ll go back in there, nab a bottle of something and bring it back.” Cole says. “We can find somewhere to sit and take a break from them. Because if I’m being truthful, I can’t stand most of the people here.”

You laugh, watching Cole enter the kitchen. He returns a minute later, an unopened bottle of Malibu in his hand

“Jackpot.” He says, holding it up.

The pair of you walk through the hall to the back door, exiting the stuffy kitchen. You guys head for the pool, sitting down at the edge, removing your shoes and sticking your feet in the crystal water. Cole unscrews the cap, takes a sip, and pulls a face as he swallows.

“I forgot I hate coconut.” He says. You laugh, taking the bottle from him and taking a swig.

Conversation soon finds you naturally, not running out of things to say, topics flowing from one to the other. Hours passed by as you guys sat at the edge of the pool simply talking your way through the bottle of rum.

“Who do you love?” Cole asks suddenly.

You choke on the rum you’d just sipped, laughing as a blush forms on Cole’s cheeks as he tries to backtrack.

“What…what I meant was are you… are you dating someone?” Coke says, eventually falling into laughter himself. “Fuck that was so weird of me, I’m sorry.”

Once your laughter subsides, you take a swig from the bottle. “Um, no one at the moment.” You say.

“Really?” Cole says, a shocked look on his face.

“Yeah.” You nod. “I haven’t exactly had the best luck in dating these past few months.”

“That’s surprising.” Cole says.

“Why’s that surprising?” You ask.

“Well... you’re so… I mean…” Cole stumbles over his words. “Y’know you’re being a bottle hog.”

Cole grabs the bottle, taking a large swig himself. You allowed the moment to change but his question lingered in your mind.

It was somewhere around 2 AM when you finally checked your phone. Several text messages and phone calls from Nick and Caitlin appeared in your notifications.

“Shit.” You say, clicking on his contact and calling Nick back.

“Where are you?” Nick asks, a hint of anger and fear in his voice.

“I’m just in the backyard.” You tell him.

“Why the hell are you in the backyard?” Nick asks, then relaying the message to someone, no doubt Caitlin.

“I needed fresh air.” You say.

Nick continues to scold you, telling you how worried he was when he couldn’t find you or get a hold of you. He tells you that they’re leaving now and to hurry up. You stand up, grabbing your shoes in one hand. Cole follows close behind as you make your way to the front of the house.

“Wait, hold on.” Cole says, grabbing your hand and pulling you back slightly. “I can’t go around front. If Nick sees me with you, both of us wasted on Malibu, I don’t think he’d be too happy with me.”

You laugh, nodding in agreement. “Thank you, for tonight. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.” You say.

Cole smiles and agrees. The pair of you stand there, caught. Part of you doesn’t want to leave him just yet, feeling too much was left unsaid. You don’t know how long to two of you are standing there staring, but you’re yanked out of it as Cole pulls you into him, your lips crashing together.

His stubble lightly scratches your chin, goosebumps prickling down your spine. His hands find your hips, and needing to close in the space, he pulls your body into his. You break apart, left a little shocked by what Cole had just done.

“I uh… Nick’s waiting.” Is all you can say.

You spin on your heel, walking towards the driveway, leaving Cole there. You regret it as soon as you’re around the corner, spotting Nick in front of the house standing next to his car. You nearly turn around to go back to Cole, but Nick spots you, chastising you for taking so much time. You shove yourself into the back seat, looking out the window.

The kiss plays on repeat in your head the whole way home, your cheeks heating up as you remember his hands on your hips, gripping onto your jacket in an attempt to pull you closer.

You get home, beelining for your room, afraid that Nick or Caitlin would try to ask questions about your demeanour or why you were in the backyard. The kiss and the conversations keep you up, wanting to replay them over and over in order to not forget them. Eventually, you fall asleep, the feeling of Cole’s lips never leaving your mind.

You wake up in the late morning, the sun beaming in making the room a little too bright for your sensitive eyes. You trudge out into the kitchen, noticing the silent house. On the counter was a note from Nick and Caitlin, saying they’d gone to run errands and that they wouldn’t be back till later.

You took the opportunity to bask in the quiet apartment, making yourself breakfast. A few minutes later there’s a knock on the door. You open the door to Cole. His hands shoved in his pockets, a backwards hat on his head. Upon seeing you, a soft smile spreads on his lips.

“Oh, hey Cole.” You say. “Um, Nick’s not home right now.”

“Oh…I’m not here for Nick.” Cole says. “Can I come in?”

You step aside, letting Cole step in, shutting the door behind him. You’re suddenly painfully aware of your outfit, wearing an old McGill shirt and a pair of men's boxers that had been repurposed as sleep shorts. Your hair was pulled back in a messy braid, strands of hair having fallen out during the night.

“I think it might’ve been a mistake. Me kissing you last night.” Cole says.

“W-why?” You ask.

Cole’s brows furrow. “Well after I kissed you, you just said ‘Nick’s waiting’. Didn’t exactly seem like the reaction of someone who enjoyed the kiss.”

“Well, how else are you supposed to react when the guy you like kisses you out of nowhere? It kind of catches you off guard a bit don’t you think?” You blurt out. You clamp your mouth shut, but a small smile appears on Cole’s lips.

“What? Do you like me?” Cole asks. He steps towards you as you offer him no response.

Part of you, the rational part of you, is screaming at you to step back. Not only were you just in multiple failed relationships, but Cole was your brother’s teammate and friend. He was part of the one group of people you knew Nick would never approve of.

But the other part of you wants him to kiss you again. You want to feel that rush you got when he put his hands on your body, the chills that went up your spine when his stubble scratched your chin.

“Do you or do you not like me?” Cole asks, taking another few steps towards you.

He’s right there. Right in your face. And you can’t help but kiss him.

Your hands go up to the sides of his face, pressing your lips to his. Cole doesn’t hesitate to put his hands on your waist, instead tugging on your shirt to draw you in. The same chill-inducing rush comes back, Cole pushing his tongue past your lips.

You’re about to let him carry you to the couch and take control when you hear keys jingling in the door. You jump back, nearly pushing Cole away. Nick and Caitlin come through the door, grocery bags in hand. When they spot Cole, looks of confusion paint their faces.

“Cole?” Nick asks. “What’re you doing here?’

“I uh… wanted to see if you wanted to work out with me today. Maybe play a bit of tennis too?” Cole asks.

“You couldn’t text me? Or call?” Nick laughed.

“I left my phone at Kirby’s last night.” Cole says.

You know Cole’s lying but Nick doesn’t and seems to buy his lie. “Uh yeah let’s do it.” Nick says. “Just let me put away the groceries and I’ll be good to go.”

Nick and Caitlin begin to put the groceries away. When they aren’t looking, you shoot Cole a look which he reads as ‘what the hell did you get yourself into?’.

Cole quietly steps over, leaning over. “Looks like I’m going to the gym.” He whispers. “I’ll text you later.”

You shoot him a smile, walking to your room, replaying the events of last night and a few minutes ago in your head.

#˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆ nylqnder #cole caufield #cole caufield imagine #cole caufield x reader #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey #montreal canadiens #habs #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl players

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hollycherrybitch · 2 months ago

Note

OMG U’RE SUCH A GOOD COLE WRITERRRRRRR!!

I’ve wondered a little how would u write Cole x Ezreal-like!Reader or Sayori-like!Reader.

If u played League of Legends or Doki Doki Literature Club u probably should know these characters. If not, I can tell u here!

Sayori : she’s a really cheerful girl, even a little childish. Portrayed archetype of a Genki Girl. HOWEVER… little did you know, she suffers from hella bad depression and is working so hard to make ppl around her happy.

Ezreal : By the first look of this guy… he seems to have a HUUUGE ego and a bit selfish. Yk, the stuff like "damn I love my skills" or "I’m so handsome, many ladies probably want me fr". I’m gonna surprise u. That’s a facade. (yippie…?) Despite showing this ego-inflated attitude, Ezreal is a wounded inside individual that uses this confident exterior to cover trauma he wouldn't admit having. He is a very critical individual of the people and city he grew up in, because he sees his own flaws exaggerated in them. (some Ezreal’s info I stole from https://leagueoflegends.fandom.com/wiki/Ezreal this site? idk how to explain his issues tho in 2 sentences)

Choose whoever u are comfy to!

I hope u’ll like the request and write that! Have a good day/night<3

🍒 ~ The warmth of his touch ~ 🍒

Characters: Cole brookstone

Genre: Slight angst, Fluff

Warning: Short, some slight depression

Author's note: OMG! Thank you for your kind words! I hope you like this!! I tried my best and had fun making this! I never played league of legends or doki doki literature club, but thank you for telling me about the character's personality! Anyways, i hope you enjoy this!!<3

🍒 ~ Okay, remember when I said cole is slightly oblivious in my first post?

🍒 ~ He's oblivious but still have awareness.

🍒 ~ The first time cole met you. He was a bit overwhelmed by your bright and happy going personality.

🍒 ~ Not like it's a bad thing! But, he never really met someone like you before. Someone who is a bit childish and has the same brightness as the sun.

🍒 ~ Poor cole has to wear sunglasses everytime you smile at him. You might as well be a walking version of the sun! But, that's what he loves about you.

🍒 ~ Though, at times, when he comes to visit at your home and everytime you smile at him, doesn't seem right... To him, at least.

🍒 ~ But cole shrugged it off. It's probably his imagination... Probably...

🍒 ~ But days turn into weeks, he's beginning to notice something off about you.

🍒 ~ Your bright smile, it's, well, not bright as before. The way your eyes looks so... Empty. The dark eye bags under your eyes. The way you look tired. It's making him worried.

🍒 ~ Worried for you.

🍒 ~ So worried, that he finally decided to confront you and talk about it.

🍒 ~ Arriving at your home, standing in front of your door, with a box of cake in his arms, as he knocked on the door of your home.

Master Wu was kind enough to let the ninjas have a day off today. On which made the perfect opportunity to finally confront you.

He waited, but the door didn't open nor did you answer. So, once again, he knocked. "Babe? Are you home?" He called out but no answer.

Confused, he reached for the doorknob, twisting it, and the door opened.

Lights are off the moment he gets inside. The only dim light he could see is the curtains of your living room.

Putting down the box of cake on the coffee table, he made his way upstairs, to your room.

Then, he heard it. The smallest sniffles, and softest sobbing from behind your door.

With no hesitation, he slammed your door open. The sound of your door being slammed opened, startled you. Rising from the comfort of your bed, turning around, only to make eye contact with your beloved boyfriend.

You're frozen in place, not knowing what to do. You wanted to speak, to explain, but your mouth won't open.

Instead, you watch him. You watch him coming over to you. His large form standing in front of you.

You thought he was going to ask you, you really did. But you didn't really have the energy to tell him about your problems and depression.

But, instead, he only wrapped his arms around you. Safe and warm.

Immediately, you cling to him, tears that were once dry came back, rolling down your cheeks as you slowly broke in his arms.

Your arms tightened around his waist as he sat beside you. Silent but the warmth of his touch said everything, his touch that are silent but understanding.

Resting his chin at the top of your head. His fingers caress your hair, with love and care.

"you don't have to tell me... But, I want you to know. I'll be here."

Author's note: I wish someone could do what cole did here. It ended being short because I have to delete something that wasn't part of your requests! So, I'm sorry if it took 5 days! But I hope you enjoy it, I definitely did my best. I never really wrote a happy-going character before so it's a first 🫶🏻

~ 🍒 ~

#cole brookstone #cole brookstone headcanons #cole brookstone x reader #lego ninjago #ninjago #earth ninja #ninjago x reader #jay walker #kai smith #lloyd garmadon

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katsmtmsdoodles · 1 month ago

Note

do you have any fun facts about your characters?

(no spoilers pls just silly things 😜)

They're all too depressed so it took me months to actually figure out if they have any moments of whimsy 😭😭

• Captain Hutchins does not shower ever. He only takes baths. Shadowspire's lack of showers totally worked out for him. He always uses rose scented bath bombs and puts candles out. It's his only me-time. He watches the Ninjago version of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. during this time and only this time.

• Lloyd and Kai went to the beach and Lloyd played beach volleyball and built a sand castle. Kai turned it into a glass castle and every kid on the beach instantly thought Lloyd was the most incredible person ever. They showed as much by burying him in sand. Kai did not help Lloyd dig himself out because he was too busy laughing at him.

• One time Skylor and Kai got sent to the dungeons at the same time and it was sad blah blah blah but also they taught themselves how to beat box when they were left alone for however many hours. While on missions together, Skylor will be beat box the song they made up and Kai pretends to be annoyed. He's not.

• Ash getting sent to the arcade on his birthday by Kai's fake mission is now canon in my heart.

• Ash is also a dog kid. He wants a puppy so bad but he can't get one 'cause he's never home and he's afraid his mom will forget it exists and accidently let it starve 💀

• Brad likes to sing! He only got to see his mom during visitation days growing up, but she is the type to know entire musicals worth of show tunes. He grew up singing with her (: His friends are embarrassed to go grocery shopping with him because he sometimes has no shame lol. Gene once tried to knock him out with a ladle in the appliance aisle and Tommy tackled him before Brad could notice. He was mid-way through the Ninjago equivalent of Hamilton 😭

• Zane figured out he was a robot in this AU when a BorgTech microwave accidentally connected to his Bluetooth.

• Before Lloyd's First Trauma, he begged his dad enough to let him into Shadowspire's battle pit that Garmadon caved. The pit was then filled with actors with fake blood packets that they burst when they 'died'. That's the real reason the pit sand was the color red and not brown. They never managed to wash out the paint and just acted like it was for an edgy reason. Lloyd made everyone call him 'Pit Champion' for weeks and REFUSED to respond to his name.

• After Kai's 'death,' Zane started making his food a lot spicier because Nya like it that way and he was trying to comfort her. However, Cole and Jay never complained for that reason and Zane eventually forgot that it wasn't the usual. Now, Zane's food is nearly impossible to eat and the ninja have just grown immunity to spice lmao.

• After Cole was born, Lou and the Blacksmiths wrote out a couple of routines where the punchline was that there was just a random baby on stage with them the entire time. It was a hit, but they had to stop doing it when Cole was 4 months old because he was such a huge baby, they stopped being able to hold him for the length of the performance.

#ite ask #ninjago in the end #s&s ask #ninjago sword & shield

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bagopucks · 2 years ago

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C. Caufield - Linear Progress

✄————————————

Cole Caufield x Fem!reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 3.3k

Warning(s): anxiety, mention of depressive episode, sad!cole

These upcoming fics are all things from my notes app from last season, doctored and given a finish so I could post! Some of these are so long it’d be a shame to just delete.

—————————————

His smile barely reached his eyes. His laughter was distant and distracted. Cole, so used to keeping good posture to feel like he measured up to those around him, stood about as poorly as a pregnant mother. His gloved hands clasped in front of himself as he shifted his weight from skate to skate.

I couldn’t take pictures of him like that. People would never notice the vulnerable state he was in, but I did. He looked so nervous. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but on the ice. And I knew that’s exactly what was going through his mind, because he’d pulled all the stops that morning trying to get me to call off for him. He’d tried saying he didn’t feel good, then he tried saying he just wanted to lay in bed. Then he tried faking a headache, and he tried tricking me into thinking he had gone back to bed. By the time I got him into the car, Cole’s attitude had done a complete switch. All of a sudden it was like work was the best place on earth. We had parted ways to do our separate things, but when I came down to the ice with my camera, I could sense Cole’s discomfort from a mile away.

“You wanna hit something other than the glass, Coley?” I watched Cole through the lens of my camera. Watched the way he brushed off the chirp with a quiet chuckle and a nod. He just wanted to stay home. I should have let him. Practice was only an hour, but it certainly felt longer. Between everybody’s endless digs on the blonde, and the occasional glances in Cole’s direction from coaches, I could see his facade cracking and fading.

I didn’t capture near as many photos as I would have liked, but my boss would just have to use what the other photographers got. Surely we’d have more than enough. I tucked my camera back into its bag by the time practice ended, watching the boys leave the ice, and eventually walking toward the visitors tunnel. I stopped short though, when I heard a puck slam off the glass. I turned back to the ice, my heart sinking in my chest at the frustration on Cole’s face.

“Fucking empty net.” His voice carried through the empty arena.

This had nothing to do with the empty net in the present. It had to do with the empty net he missed one week prior. That seemed to have started his scoring drought.

“Fuck.” He spat out. My brow furrowed as he skated toward the bench, my body tensing in anticipation as he raised his stick, clearly ready to slam it off the top of the bench wall until it broke. Before he could even bring the stick down, his entire body relaxed. He found reason within his anger. Or maybe he had simply given up. I watched Cole throw the stick aside in the bench instead, saying, ‘fuck it,’ before he stomped down the tunnel toward the locker room.

He had just returned from an injury. Adjusting was normal. Relearning some things was normal. But Cole wasn’t patient with himself. He never was. I carried my camera down the separate hall, half tempted to retrieve Cole’s stick, but ultimately deciding against it. He’d be embarrassed if he knew I’d watched him lash out like that. He hated when people saw any side of him that wasn’t the usual giggly and fun side.

I stole away to my office to finish a few things before I received a message from him, trying to speed up the process of downloading photos to my computer as Cole’s face popped up on my phone screen. I quickly answered the call.

“Hey, babe-“

“I wanna go home.” So much for pleasantries, but I hadn’t expected them in the first place.

“Give me maybe.. fifteen minutes, okay?” Silence followed my request for time.

“Please.” I heard his voice echo, my brow furrowing as I glanced toward my phone.

“Are you in the bathroom?”

“I just wanna go home.” I could have sworn I heard Cole’s voice quiver.

“You can come sit in my office while you wait.”

“I’m okay.” I wanted to pinch my nose. To grab him by the shoulders and shake the stubbornness out of him.

“Why don’t you go wait in the car then?” I bit my lip as I looked back at my computer.

“‘Kay. But.. just fifteen minutes, right?”

My eyes lit up when the photos finally loaded onto the computer.

“Less than fifteen.” I answered, “I’ll be fast.”

I tried to stay true to my word, but when my boss stopped me in the hall, I knew it would be far longer than fifteen minutes. A half an hour longer to be exact. When I got out of her office, I ran as quickly as I could through the building to get to the parking lot. I felt horrible when I noticed Cole’s head lift. Our car the only one left in the players lot.

I tossed my camera in the back and climbed into the passenger seat without so much as a word. I wasn’t in trouble, but I knew Cole wasn’t thrilled.

“You said fifteen minutes.” Cole hadn’t wasted much time getting the car started and pulling out of the lot.

“I’m sorry. My boss stopped me, and- god you know how she is.”

“Talks for hours, yeah.” Cole tried to muster a chuckle. He looked so apathetic. So careless. But not in a freeing or jovial way. He simply looked drained and tired.

“What do you wanna do when we get home?” I asked, glancing out the window at the passing scenery. Christmas was just around the corner. Snow covered sidewalks and streets, and Christmas decor was up everywhere.

“I just wanna lay down.” Cole shook his head. I turned my attention to him.

“You could use a hair cut.”

“Not today.”

“Might feel good.” Laying around and doing nothing in the midst of a funk never helped anybody. As easy as it was to laze around, it usually only made one’s mental health worse.

“You can lay with me.” He was stuck on this idea. Too bad I was stuck on my own as well.

“I’ll lay with you if you let me cut your hair.”

Cole didn’t reply. He bit his lip and ignored the proposal. “I have stuff to do today anyway.” I shrugged. I wanted to be there, but if Cole didn’t let me in, there wasn’t much I could do. So if he insisted on laying around all day, I’d busy myself with cleaning, straightening up the few decorations we had yet to put out, working on Christmas cards. Anything to busy myself while he stayed miserable.

“‘Mkay.”

It was the end of our conversation until we got back to our apartment. I carried my things inside behind Cole, who kicked his shoes off and headed straight for our bedroom. I had to stop myself from following after him. Instead, I dropped my camera bag on the love seat and wandered into the dining room to grab my laptop,

He’d come around eventually. It was what I kept telling myself as I turned on some Christmas music and put the few finishing touches on our customized Christmas cards. I sang along quietly, and set my laptop aside when I finished the cards. I saved the design to show to Cole when he felt better, and shot up from the couch to make a glass of hot chocolate.

I ended up making two, and against my better judgement, I carried one down the hall for my lover.

“Cole?” I toed our bedroom door open, spotting his still body curled up under a mess of blankets. His back was turned to the door, but I could tell he had the comforter pulled over half of his face. I sighed, resting the mug on his nightstand before I placed a hand on his arm.

“Made you some hot chocolate.” I whispered, leaning over to kiss his shoulder. I didn’t know if Cole was awake or not, but the affection was needed nonetheless. I tiptoed out of our room and pulled the door shut behind myself, only to return to my own world of lonely Christmas preparation.

I spent close to two hours putting up the last of the decorations and cleaning. I saved the tiny statues of Hermey and Rudolph for the tv mantle, where they always went, but Cole loved being the one to put them up. I stared down at the statues on the coffee table, placing my hands on my hips as I’ll Be Home For Christmas came on from my laptop on the couch. The cozy atmosphere was almost perfect. I just wished Cole didn’t feel so horrible. He deserved to enjoy his holidays. Not worry them away.

I glanced back toward the hall, hearing an ear splitting shatter as if on cue.

“Cole?” I shouted, panic seizing my chest as I took off through the hallway, making a sharp turn to push our bedroom door open. Cole was out of bed, wearing nothing but boxers, holding an arm out toward the door.

“It’s fine! I’m fine! I got it!” I looked toward the floor to see the mug I’d set on his dresser in pieces. I grimaced. His favorite mug. Hot chocolate ran across the floor, and I was quick to jog into the bathroom to grab a towel.

“Here.” When I returned, I tossed the towel on the floor, covering the small puddle of liquid. “I’ll go grab something to wipe the floor down.. you start picking up glass.” I left the bedroom, going to rummage through the kitchen for my floor cleaner. When I found it, I grabbed a few paper towels as well, returning in record time.

Cole was knelt on the floor, the towel from the bathroom pushed aside as he collected glass from the floor. I noticed the sporadic and heavy rise and fall of his back, the way his chest heaved. His hair covered his eyes, and despite not being able to see his face, I knew he was upset.

“Coley.” I made my way over and knelt next to him.

“I’m almost done.” Cole’s voice quivered. I set the items in my hands down, gently resting my hand on his cheek, turning his head to face me. Cole’s eyes were wet with tears, his cheeks flushed and stained by the tracks of tears that had already fallen.

“Oh, Cole.” I kissed his forehead, shaken by the sob that escaped his lips as he set the collected glass down atop a paper towel. I sat down on the floor and pulled him in. He’d been kneeling before, but he barely thought twice about it when his body fell into my own, back pressed into my chest while I held onto him tightly.

“I’m sorry.” The words came out through broken cries, but I merely shook my head and rubbed his side with one of my hands.

“It’s okay.. everything is gonna be okay.” Cole didn’t have days like these often. Where everything bubbled over and became too much to bear. He was good at keeping himself in check. In fact, he was usually the one taking care of me on days like these. But I never missed an opportunity to assure him I was there in moments when he felt he couldn’t function. When the dark cloud looming over was simply too much to bear. I rested my chin on Cole’s shoulder, pressing occasional kisses to his body to help distract and ease his mind.

“Cole,” I whispered as he started to calm down. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and slowly turned to look at me. “Let’s fix this mess, okay? Then we can relax.” He seemed reluctant to get up, and I knew he’d sit there all day if I didn’t take initiative. “C’mon.” I directed his attention back to the glass, helping him retrieve the last few pieces before he got up to throw them away. I made quick work of cleaning the floor, wiping down any sticky spots before I had stood up to put the towel in the hamper, and throw the paper towels away. When Cole returned, he stood in the doorway, hugging himself for warmth, or maybe still out of discomfort. I turned to look at him, flashing a sad smile.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to..” as if I didn’t know that. As if he hadn’t already apologized. I crossed the floor to meet him in the doorway, wrapping my arms around his body. I gently rubbed his back, taking note of the tight muscles.

“It was an accident. It’s okay.” I whispered, “you wanna talk about what’s been going on?” I looked up at him, earning a quiet ‘no,’ in response.

“Cole, you were just crying. It might help some.” I tucked a lock of his long blonde hair behind his ear, then trailed my hand down his face, following his jaw.

“I just wanna lay back down.”

There it was. That constant avoidance.

“At least lay with me on the couch. All the decorations in the living room are set out.” I rubbed the small of his back, earning a careful nod. “I’m gonna grab a sweatshirt first. It’s a little cold.” I moved my arms around to his stomach, nodding and pressing a kiss to his shoulder before I slipped out of the bedroom.

There was no promise that Cole wouldn’t lay back down in our bed, but I had to trust him a little.

When I got back into the living room, I shut the lights out and plugged the Christmas tree in. I grabbed one of our Christmas blankets and laid it out on the couch, waiting for him as I placed a throw pillow at one end. I laid down and pushed the blanket aside so I could pull it over us later. I grabbed the tv remote and started sifting through channels, smiling at Cole when he finally came through the hall. He still didn’t have pants on, but his sweatshirt sleeves were pulled over his hands, and he had the plastic end of one of the strings in his mouth. As cozy as he could get. I parted my legs for him to lay down between them, and he did with little to no hesitation. Cole’s back rested against my chest, his head finding a home near my shoulder. I wrapped my legs around his own and swiftly covered up with the blanket.

“You finished decorating without me?” I heard him sniff quietly, still recovering from the crying fit he had minutes ago.

“It had to get done.” I rested a hand on his head, gently combing my fingers through his hair. “I left Rudolph for you.” I gestured toward the coffee table with my free hand.

“Are we still visiting my family over Christmas?”

“Absolutely, Cole.” I smiled. “You’ve been looking forward to that since November.” When the silence settled between us, I moved my free hand to rest atop one of his own. I dragged my thumb across his knuckles, traced the lines in his hand, flipped it over to massage his palm.

“I just want it to be over.. ya know?” Cole’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“What do you want to be over?” I matched his volume, continuing to rub his hand and play with his hair. One little change might throw him off.

“I just wanna be good again.” He sighed, turning his head against my shoulder to look up at the ceiling.

“At hockey?”

“Yeah. I can’t even hit the net.” Cole closed his eyes, trying to hide his frustrations.

“Give it time, Cole. It’s all a part of recovery. It’s not a linear thing.” I whispered. “And we’re gonna go visit your family in a week. You should be focused on that. I know you wanna be back on the ice, but if you rush you could hurt yourself.”

“What if they don’t resign me?” My movement halted. I lifted my head from the pillow to peek down at him.

“Why would they do that?”

“Because I can’t play.”

“Cole.” I squeezed his hand. “You’re gonna recover. You’ll get back to playing hockey. Your skill hasn’t just gone away.” I could understand his concerns to a degree, but I knew these worries were all in his head. “If they decide to ship you off it’s because they’re morons. It’ll have nothing to do with your recovery. Injuries happen, and you can’t control them.” His silence was deafening. Sometimes I hated how hard Cole thought about things.

“I really like it in Montreal.”

“Cole.” A tension accompanied my tone. One that made his eyes fall toward the opposite end of the couch. “You can’t trap yourself in this endless cycle of negative thoughts.” I began to play with his hair once again. “What if they do want you? What if you recover so well that they decide to sign you for more years? What if you get a better contract than the last? What if this injury turns you into a superstar?” Cole shifted against me, clearly displeasured by the combative tactic I was using.

“Okay?”

“Cole. Anything can happen. Good or bad. You can’t control it.. so let’s just not think about it. It’s tearing you apart.”

“Because it’s my future! Don’t you get it?” Cole sat up, careful not to hurt me. I was quick to sit up as well, folding my legs criss-crossed on the couch as I watched his head fall into his hands. His once calm breathing began to pick up once again.

“The future isn’t going to sneak up on you Cole! The future is a second from now. A day, three days. It’s a fucking week or a month. It’s not going to come and assault you in an alleyway one day. You’re thinking too much. The physician, physical therapist, your coaches, they’re all working with you. They’re all making sure you get back on the ice. And they’ve been telling you that you’re recovering well. You’re doing great! Why don’t you see that?” I was impatient as I waited for an answer. Waited for Cole to look at me, or show some sign of understanding.

“I don’t know.” His voice quivered again. His chest heaved with a deep and quiet cry. He desperately needed that week off. He needed that week with his family. With his mother and his dog. Olive was the best at cheering Cole up.

I slid across the couch, draping one of my arms over his back as Cole cried quietly.

“It’s okay to be worried,” I whispered, resting my other hand on his thigh. “But you can’t let it consume you. You have to talk to people.” I didn’t know how we got there, but I knew it was because of his own stubborn behaviors. If he simply would have spoken to me before, we could have worked this out. And even despite knowing that, I couldn’t be mad. I couldn’t blame Cole for whatever reason he chose not to communicate, because I knew he didn’t do it to spite me or hurt me for not understanding. “You can’t let yourself get here, Cole. This constant state of panic won’t help anything.” I pressed a kiss to his head. “Things are going to turn out okay, but you need to allow yourself to see that. Please… let me help you see that.” I felt his body lean into my own, and I wrapped my arms around him once again. “There’s nothing to worry about.” I whispered, “take it one day at a time.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

#nhl imagine #nhl x reader #cole caufield blurb #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield imagine #cole caufield #ella’s inbox #ella’s updates #ella’s asks

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hellafluff · 7 months ago

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Thinking about a proper Bad End world state where every Bad Decision is reflected in DATV. Heres a few specific thoughts:

Origins:

Kill Leliana, and her ghost disappears at the end of Inquisition and she never comes back > She cant be or help the Divine > Divine less powerful, the South is more fucked.

Stab Morrigan in Witch Hunter > Injury causes permanent damage. She's just weak enough and/or jaded enough that by DATV she didn't accept Mythal and can't help you.

Sten Loses Sword > Never returns to Seheron and never becomes Arishok. The Arishok in DATV stays with the Antaam and makes them a stronger, more unified military under a power crazed leader controlled by the Evanuris.

DA2, imagining DA2 companions would have comeback to DATV otherwise:

Any of the companions dying/not loyal results in them being absent in DATV and weaker factions as a result. Merrill would have been a leader among the Veil Jumpers, Fenris would have been a key member of the Shadow Dragons but now they aren't. Isabela no longer leads the Lords and the Lords are fewer in number and weaker now, if she was taken by the Arishok, she's been made Qunari and you have to kill her (ala Jack in ME3.)

Anders may not have had much impact either way honestly bc I think him living would still be pretty contentious with a lot of characters and he's not having a great time either way. No Aveline means weaker/fucked Kirkwall as she's not there to be the interim Viscount while Varric's away. Dead Hawke siblings means weaker Grey Wardens.

Inquisition:

A lot of Inquisition decisions should make or break the survival of the south. Majority sidequests done > Stronger South. Otherwise they have less morale, less troops, and still recovering from the Blight and Corypheus. Sidequests in DAO can effect the South's Readiness here too (can you tell I like ME3?)

Companion loyalty affects returning characters again. No loyalty Dorian has way less resources, if not just ousted from the Magisterium all together. Absolutely no Archon Pavus. No Sera means worse off for the people, Red Jenny's less effective if not wiped out. No loyalty Viv or Cass means the Divine is not going to send much if any aide. They're too busy trying to protect the South. Cole's just gone, otherwise I think he should have come back at the end to help you convince Solas. Dead Blackwall is a less strong Wardens. Not helping Josie or Cullen means they are in absolutely no position to assist and Cullen is just dead from Lyrium addiction. So little help from the nobility and Templars. Varric's ending is the same. We already get an Iron Bull loyalty effect in Trespasser.

Speaking of Trespasser; keeping the Inquisition means you have a bit more resources but Inquisitor is mostly relegated to helping the South. Dissolving the Inquisition means the Inquisitor is available as an advisor/leader in the North but with fewer resources. Solas loyalty should also affect how bad Quizzy's arm is. If they weren't friends he ripped the anchor away and now they have chronic pain and are less combat capable.

Bonus: Lavellan who's clan died is extra depressed and the Veil Jumpers have less strength.

Bonus 2, this actually would have been good: Saving Avernus' research and letting the Architect live with a living Hero of Fereldan should have let us find a cure for the blight. This doesn't happen but will be factored in as if it could have in my following summary:

Have it all come together and a Rook who does everything right can barely scrape by, but with no chance of convincing Solas to bind the Veil to himself. The world is fucked and it will take decades to recover. The blight is still causing mayhem but it recedes as years go by. Tevinter doesn't survive at all, with the hit to its military strength with the massive loss of Venatori + the remaining Antaam absolutely decimating both sides. The Qunari in Seheron close themselves off and don't interact with any other country for years. Southern Thedas is nearly a wasteland and the Chantry breaks up into disjointed, often warring, sects despite the Divine's best attempt to keep power. Mages and elves persecuted everywhere, blamed for everything.

A Rook who does everything wrong just ends the world. Special options appear when encountering Elgar'nan and Ghilanain to agree with them or consider their reasoning. Taking these let's you change sides at the end of the game and let Elgar'nan rule. Potentially even cause Ghil to survive if Harding/Davrin aren't loyal or you can send someone unqualified to sabotage the plan. If you change sides with any companions still alive you have to fight and kill them. The world is engulfed in Blight and everyone dies.

Alternate Bad End: You become convinced by Solas to side with him. Everything is already so fucked that tearing down the veil sounds like the only good option remaining. You fight back your own companions while he finishes the ritual and the world is engulfed in raw magic, killing every non mage, awakening the magic in all elves, and unleashing every spirit and demon alike on an unprepared world. Also considering Dwarves kind of surviving but being thrust back into a world filled with magic but no connection to the Titans leaves them fully Tranquil.

#woke up thinking about this #dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #dai #dao #da2 #datv #datv spoilers #dragon age meta #crazee talk #long post

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