#and by the time i do find the motivation to finish the comic thing the final evos will be revealed lol

[andhumanslovedstories]

I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.

In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.

Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.

On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.

It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”

I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.

That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.

It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.

Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.

I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.

After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, ��what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.

Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.

I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.

I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.

Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.

I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.

But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?

[starsonablackboard]

managed to finish another decent ish piece so here's narinder's inutial design!! as always probably will change later

we're living by furry laws in this house so "head fur" aka hair is an option and im using it. period. another unpopular(??) choice is giving narinder a fur pattern, and don't get me wrong i love the pure black void nari, but as an artist i enjoy making up details to draw, so i indulged myself here. (but if i ever were to draw comics with him i would simplify it or just make him all-black, because repeating this every frame is a misery. fun for a one-off ref sheet tho)

not a lot of lore stuff for the guy since the idea of the au is still fresh and im figuring it all out, but there're design inspirations under the cut if you're interested!!

sooo lets go

i wanted narinder to have that dramatic sharp featured og cartoon villain look, so i took inspiration from oriental longhairs for the facial structure and from maine coons for fluffy dramatics. also i just love using maine coons as cat references. look at those things. marvellous.

from the very start (pretty much) my brain was consistently giving me images of narinder with hair, specifically dark long-ish straight-ish, so i tried to walk this mental image backwards to find the origins of it, and i think scar and ozai are my best bets. in my first sketches narinder had shoulder length hair with slight waves, but in the end i opted for long and straight. not really a reason to, just was vibing better to me

clothes are pretty standard narinder robes i think. i find it funny that fandom unanimously gave him basically a priest outfit, and i like it too, so i kept it. that red stripe gave me a little bit of a headache though, couldn't get it to look okay and not weird or tacky. i think i managed. i had to contain my urge to design him an intricate outfit with different textiles and embroidery and shit, but i try to keep it at least somewhat tied to logic and the au, and let's say that no-one was willing to do something this elaborate for narinder for quite some time

and some lore crumbs

• narinder is declawed (after his defeat that is).

see the narinder's claw relic and the whole do no evil motive. the most evil narinder directly did was the injures he inflicted on his siblings, and he did it by, quoting shamura, "such sharp claws". so yeah, that tracks. funfact i considered taking only one of his claws, from the left ring finger, because the relic is "narinder's claw" singular, but "callamar's ear" relic is also one ear and not two, so it didn't feel kike a good enough basis to take only one claw yk. so sorry big cat, all your claws are now gone

• lamb did kill narinder after defeating him. there's nothing on the pic that's tied to that fact, just thought it would be interesting to know

[thechekhov]

Hello! I'm a big fan of your work. I wanted to ask for advice / thoughts about an art problem I've been struggling with that you seem to have at least some sort of solution for?

So basically I'm an animator and digital artist (hobbyist), and I'm constantly coming up with new ideas for things to make. Only problem is that most of these ideas would take up to or longer than 2 months to make because, yknow, animation isn't quick, especially if you want to take your time to make it good. But with so many ideas that all take so long to complete, I often find myself tied and frozen as I can't decide what's most worthwhile to start first. I passionately want to complete all these projects, but my inspiration for each one waxes and wanes in a way I can't control, and I've just been stuck for several months. You juggle a lot of projects- not all of them art, but it still seems applicable here. This is excluding other life responsibilities like work and stuff, I don't have problems with getting that stuff done. This is purely within my creative hobby.

If u can't say anything thats fine I'm just curious- You have a massive output with great quality. Thank you!

This is a very kind message, and one that humbles me a lot, because although I'd love to bestow upon you some sort of advice that might help, or give words of wisdom..............I feel like that would be fake of me because

I also suffer from this very same thing

That is to say, this part of your message:

my inspiration for each one waxes and wanes in a way I can't control

It rings true for me too! I think it might ring true for many others as well.

There are stories in my head all the time. There are stories, and concepts, and IDEAS and they are all so shiny and new in the beginning, and then they slowly peter out and, since I frequently don't have time to do anything about them, they fade into the background.

I have enough trouble with this in terms of COMICS (also a lengthy medium, though less so than animation, which, OOF, you have my condolences, you are stronger than I) that I have started to just come to terms with the fact that some things are not meant to be.

Which is, I think, one of the small bits of advice I can give.

1. Some things may just be ideas, and that's okay.

I think one of the best ways that I've learned to deal with Idea-Death is making it count towards something in the future. That is to say, using them as compost.

In order for this to work, you have to actively put your ideas into the compost pin instead of the trash. That means maybe investing in either a notebook, or a sketchbook, OR just a discord server for yourself where you organize ideas and dump them all into a channel to scroll back through later.

It may seem useless at first, but honestly, it can be satisfying to PUT them somewhere instead of letting them fade away.

Plus, you may one day scroll through them and rediscover an idea at just the right time. OR you may be inspired to take parts of an old idea and repurpose it for a new idea that you DO have motivation for.

However, there's also this part, right?

I've just been stuck for several months

I.......feel this. Sometimes I, too, feel stuck for several months. There are times when even if I WANT to work on something, I just don't have the time. It takes too long to finish!

.........which is why I recommend the following:

2. Don't finish. Just start.

Now, this is the toughie. I can't exactly say that it would work for everyone. But I have learned that I am WAY more likely to return to a project and work on it again sometime in the future if I actually DO something for it the first time I get inspired.

I have SO MANY things that I have not published in my folders. I have sketches of gifs that are 10 frames long. I have concept art sketches boldly labeled with project names that will likely never get off the ground. I have Googledoc files with summary and plot outlines for stories I'll probably never write. I have discord channels with random ass concepts and a few sketches for characters.

And what I have found is that if I just WORK on these ideas when I feel like it, they are more likely to survive, even if they don't thrive right away.

I'm also a huge proponent of Procrastination Rotation.

That is to say, I have so many projects I COULD be working on, that if I ever feel frustrated or stuck on one thing, I just shift myself slightly to the left and do another thing instead. I almost never force myself to work through a block (save for a few money-motivated deadlines) just to complete a thing.

Stuck on a comic? I'll go write a few lines of fic. Unsatisfied with where the fic is going?

I'll go sketch out an illustration. Incapable of finishing an illustration?

I'll go google some references for another comic project and slap them all into an image file for later, so that I have SOMETHING in place for when I want to do studies.

And so on and so forth.

I have comic ideas, and comic sketches, and 30+ pages of original comics sketched. I don't know if they'll make it. It would take a lot of work.

But it also takes very little work - just a few extra pages sketched while I'm bored for an hour. Or a bit of lineart while I listen to a podcast. Or just a doodle somewhere which I snap a pic of and add to my discord channel for that project.

Will it work for everyone? Probably not. But I think that our creative culture is sometimes too attached to a linear production style. The truth is that art, or illustrations, or animation, or comics - none of it has to be on an assembly line. It can be tinkered with and put aside. And then, maybe, picked apart for scraps.........or maybe made into something new!

I don't know if that helps you at all, but I hope it at least helps someone.

And good luck with your animating!

[mysterycitrus]

This is so stupid but I was wondering if you might have any Dick and Roy meta? I've always loved your meta posts about the relationships between the Fab Five and different characters and lately, I've been seeing a lot of those posts where people splice certain comic pannels with poems/sayings/inspirational quotes and things that match and I've been wanting to have more in-depth ideas of the relationship between Dick and Roy because they're just so interesting but I don't have the brains to come up with anything myself

when i think about dick grayson and roy harper i think about the trope king + lionheart — a burdened hero, and their loyal protector — and how they switch roles with each other. like two standout dickroy books are probably old friends, new enemies and outsiders (2003), and while they’re both initiated with roy reaching out to dick for help, his motivations are very different. i think that dynamic, and how they don’t fit solely into one role, is part of why i enjoy reading about them so much.

in old friends, roy is the king — he’s trying to track down chesire and find lian, and isn’t initially honest about his intentions. he’s struggling with his decisions, and his faith in himself. dick acts as the moral support, his backup, and also calls him out on his actions.

but their relationship is still loving. there’s a solid foundation of trust that makes dick want to support roy and protect his daughter, to the point that he and jade nguyen show a (very) begrudging respect to each other.

in outsiders, dick is the king — donna has just died, bludhaven is going to shit, and roy knows that he’s spiralling. roy is the solid support who convinces dick to lead a new team because he knows dick hurts himself through isolation. they’re both grieving donna and the loss of their team, but roy forces dick to reconnect again. he forces dick to care.

despite being the leader of the outsiders, dick is uncompromising in his loyalty in roy. he tells people to leave if they don’t accept roy’s authority in the team. after roy is shot, dick takes the same action as roy in the first issue — he brute forces his way into getting roy out of the spiral. he holds a gun to roy’s head and tells him to take it.

im a huge sucker for friends to lovers, but what i really love is two competent people with absolute faith in each other. i dislike the idea that bat-characters are like….. absurdly op and everyone is just in awe of them all the time, but dick’s reputation means that trusting someone the way he trusts roy is important. he watched his teammates die, he watched his sister die to save his life, and he still trusts roy to be there. roy historically has a bit of an inferiority complex about working with dick, but dick does not reciprocate. dick knows roy will be there when it counts.

there’s a particular kind of love that comes from mourning the same person during one of the worst times of your life.

the fact that the early tragedies in their lives are so similar, that they lost family and an idea of place at similar ages, were mentored by mortal men who wanted to do good, but still ended up so close but so different is really really interesting to me. u get to outsiders, and they really know each other in a really intense way.

truly like…. i would fall on ur sword because i trust u not to land the killing blow. to finish — something something gay people

[localplaguenurse]

Falling Head over Heels (Pantalone x Male Reader) pt 10

First and foremost, we've gotten quite a few pieces of fanart from @your-local-furby and @antartzz in the last little bit! We've got a smooch scene as well as a drawing and comic of MC with antartzz's oc Freida. I always get all mushy and/or feral when I get art so I really do appreciate it!

On a more serious note;

Content warnings: homophobia, as well as "queer" being used as a slur, verbal abuse/altercations, and attempted physical assault. (MC and his father get into a really bad argument while shopping.) There is also a bit of ableism but it's no more extreme than in previous chapters, and the homophobia is a much bigger thing in this chapter.

Please be cautious if that is a particularly triggering.

@thedeimoshimself @eli-chris

“Could you hurry it up already?” you hear your father ask, holding a package under his arm.

You look around the store shelves, eyes scanning over different brands of typewriter ribbons. Your fingers ache from carrying the basket of items, so you carefully swap hands. “I’d probably finish up faster if you actually helped me find the brand I need.”

Your father scoffs. “There can’t be that much of a difference between all the other brands here. I’m sure you can find… whatever it is you’re picky about from a different brand.”

“The ribbon I’m looking for is from the same company that made my typewriter,” you explain for what feels like the hundredth time, but is probably only the seventh or eighth time, “it’s specifically made for that particular brand, and since mine is an older model, it’s difficult finding adequate substitutes.”

“Have you ever considered getting a new typewriter? Something newer and more universal?”

“Why would I when the typewriter I have right now works fine?”

“Because your typewriter is older than you are,” your father states, “and I’ll give you credit, you take good care of it, but if something breaks, it’s going to be expensive and difficult to repair, and that’s if they’re even making parts for it anymore.”

“I will worry about that when it happens,” you reply, “but for now, I need ribbons, and I’m struggling to find them.”

Your father sighs. “What’s the brand again?”

“Fuscienne ruban d’encre.”

“What?”

“It’s a box with Fontainian on it,” you answer. “This store is the only place in town that sells it, and unless they’ve partnered with other suppliers in Fontaine, it should be the only one.”

Your father is quiet for a few moments, allowing you to go back to searching for your ink ribbons. The silence is nice, and it’s short lived when you hear the man sigh again. “... Is this what you wanted for a career?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Writing those… girly books.”

You give your father a look. “... Really?”

“What? That’s what they are.”

“They’re romance books. It won’t kill you to say the word romance.”

“And who reads them?”

“People who like romance.”

“Don’t play this game with me.”

“Just get to the point already.”

“I’m just saying writing isn’t the only career you could have chosen,” your father explains, “you had options when you were younger, and you still have options today. You talk about how you can only do certain things on account of your vision, but you act like they’re the only options you have.”

Your father’s words catch you off guard, and you are quiet for a moment as you mull them over. They’re… almost inspiring out of context, but in that condescending hand holding way. You can hear someone else who means well but doesn’t understand saying some of those words to you with a smile that’s too big, too bright, too rehearsed. Something that would have sufficed as motivational when you were little, but just leaves a bad taste in your mouth as an adult.

That said, this is your father, so it immediately raises a red flag. It’s one thing for him to make a backhanded comment, it’s another for him to say something that could be misconstrued into something well meaning when stripped of the full context. You know this, and you know it can only mean one thing.

Your eyes land on a small box, and you pick it up. You then sigh, realizing this isn’t your brand, the design just looks similar. You’re still looking at the shelf when you speak up. “So, why are you in the doghouse this time?”

“Excuse me?”

Your eyes finally spot the word Fuscienne. You momentarily forget the conversation and grin at the last box on the shelf. You snatch it and drop it into the basket.

Your father places a firm hand on your shoulder. “What did you mean by that?”

Right. You turn to face him. “Mom’s mad at you about a comment you made and is making you babysit me,” you reply, “I don’t care what it was you said, but I’m assuming she’ll forgive you if I said you did a good job helping me.”

(Which he really didn’t, because you are a grown man who has been to this store on his own many times before, and your father helping you navigate the store would make your outing even longer.)

Your father averts his eyes, and under his irritation, you see embarrassment shine through the cracks in his mask. He crosses his arms, and on a smaller figure, it would look like such a petulant gesture. It just looks pathetic for someone his age. “The faster we get this over with, the sooner we go home and you go back to your books.”

You answer by walking to the front of the store. The old man behind the counter grins when he sees you. “Find everything you were looking for?”

You nod, placing the basket on the counter. “Grabbed the last box of the Fuscienne ink ribbons. Lucky me.”

“You know, son,” the old man says, “I like to keep at least one pack of the Fuscienne in the back, just for you.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes! You’re one of my regulars, and I know you like that one, so I always make sure I have extra for you in case it sells out before our next order.”

You find yourself smiling. “That’s really kind of you.”

“It’s no problem.” He starts pulling items out of your bag, ringing them up before handing them to his son, who then begins to bag the items. “How is your book?”

His son gives him a quick look. “Father, remember?”

The man behind the counter goes pale. “O-Oh, right, I forgot about the, erm…”

“No, it’s fine,” you assure the man, “progress is good! Very good. I actually got a deal with the Yae Publishing House shortly after my old publisher dropped me. I’m actually waiting for them to get back to me with their final thoughts before I officially start my final draft.”

The man grins. “Oho! That’s delightful! How long do you think it will take before you get it published?”

“I should be hearing back within the week,” you answer, “and after that… a month maybe, and I’m still deciding between cover designs, and I’m not sure what their exact manufacturing and publishing process is, so… I’m not a hundred percent sure when I’ll finally have it out, haha.”

“So I take it you haven’t heard about your old publisher?” the son pipes up.

“What?”

“You don’t know? He’s gone bankrupt.”

Your eyes go wide. “What?! What do you mean?”

“Mountains of debt, from what some of the other writers and editors have said,” the son explains. “Rumour has it the reason he started terminating contracts and laying off editors was so the money would go to paying it all off while still getting a cut of the profits from the books they had published through him.”

“Son of a bitch,” you mutter, before you feel yourself go pale. “Wait, wait, when did this happen?”

“Just a couple days ago,” the son says, “I’m surprised your girlfriend didn’t tell you. She still works there, right?”

“My girlfr… Alik? No, they’ve been out of town visiting family. Archons, the shitshow they’re going to be coming home to…”

“Wait, she– they’re not your–”

“No, no, I’m… I’m not interested in them like that.”

The son stares at you, and you see the little twitch of his lips. “You know what? That makes sense.”

“The hell are you implying?”

Your father’s voice making his presence beyond your central vision known scares you. You turn and see him glaring at the young man. 

The old man speaks up. “S-Sir, my apologies, my son didn’t mean any–”

“Are you insinuating something about my son, boy?”

You turn and see the son’s horrified expression. “I-It was just a joke, some banter between friends! R-Right?” he asks, looking to you for help.

“Father, calm down,” you tell him, “it’s not a big deal.”

He glares harder at the young man. “You’d like it if you thought my son wasn’t interested in that girl ‘like that,’ wouldn’t you?”

By the Tsaritsa this cannot be happening.

“I swear to you sir, it was a bad joke, I promise you, i-it sounded funnier in my head and–”

“I think it’s best we start going to another business,” your father hisses, “I don’t need you leering at my son.”

Horror floods your system, eyes widening and mouth agape. You feel your father staring holes into you expectantly, waiting for you to announce your disgust and disdain at such implications and storm out. Stuck in place, you see the old man’s face first, and he’s in a state of shock, too caught off by the situation to get angry. Then your eyes land on the young man. You can see he’s also shocked, but more than anything he looks humiliated, scared even. He looks like he’s about to start crying, and the sight switches your absolute horror to absolute rage.

You whip around, teeth bared in anger. “What the fuck is your problem?!”

“What’s my problem?! Ask him!”

You push your father’s chest and he staggers back. You point at the front door. “You already bought your shit so why are you even still in here? Just leave already!”

“And leave you alone with this–”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO.”

The shop goes deathly quiet. Your father’s eyes widen, absolutely shocked by your vulgarity, before his eyes narrow again. His jaw clenches, and in the quiet, you can almost hear the creaking of his clenched teeth. He gives one more dirty look to the young man before he stomps off. He makes sure to slam the door on the way out.

Your mother says he’s a good man, there are still just some traditional things he prefers. He’s very supportive of your sisters’ career or schooling choices, and is endlessly proud of his son for meeting a hard working and loving woman. It’s a side of him that doesn’t always come up, but it rears its ugly head when it comes to you, with your love of literature and romance. You’ve never been sure if it’s because your specific career isn’t the most manly of jobs, or if it’s because writing isn’t as impressive to him as becoming a surgeon or a lawyer or taking over the family business. Regardless, you’ve seen and heard some rather ignorant opinions from him. Your mother doesn’t approve of it, but her attempts at discouraging it are little more than a look, or a hand placed gently on the shoulder and a harshly whispered “honey” or “Mikhaïl.” 

Still, what the fuck was that?

You’ve by now memorized how much your purchases will cost. Fuscienne ink ribbons, stack of paper, and some envelopes. You know roughly how much the amount would weigh in your hand, so when you reach into your pouch and pull out a rather hefty handful of golden coins, it’s purposeful.

You pour the mora into the old man’s hand. “T-Take this, I am so, so sorry, I’ve never… I’ve never seen him react like that to anything.”

The old man looks at the mora in his hand. “This… This is too much, I can’t–”

“I don’t care, please take it as an apology on my behalf,” you insist. You step back and meet his son’s eyes. You place your hand on your chest, your face burning with embarrassment. “I-I can’t tell you how fucking horrified I am, and I am so sorry this happened. He’s said stupid shit before but this is new, I-I don’t know what happened but that is not okay.”

The man sniffles. “N-No, I made the joke, I–”

“It’s not your fault,” you tell him, “and, um, if I’m honest, y-your joke wasn’t off the mark, but I…” You shake your head. “You two will always be my go to shop whenever I need supplies, so I truly cannot tell you how awful I feel about this, I’m really sorry.”

The young man forces a smile, and nods, still distressed. His father pats him on the shoulder and gestures to a door behind them. You watch him step away from your things and head through the door, and you can hear the shaky breath he lets out through the closed door.

The man takes over bagging your items, which isn’t much considering you only bought a couple things, but he’s deliberately slow in the process. You wonder why, until he speaks in a soft tone. “So… you’re like my son.”

Picking up on the meaning behind his words, you immediately feel even worse about what just happened, feeling physically nauseous. “I am, if you’re talking about… not having girlfriends.”

He nods. “Not many people know, and not many bring it up,” he says, “this is the first time something like this has happened to him in the store. I… I think he’ll appreciate what you’ve done today when he’s not so shaken up. I know I do.”

You find yourself smiling, but not out of joy. “It’s nothing, really. People are fools, and my father is a court jester. It’s honestly the least I could have done, I feel.”

“Either way, I appreciate it,” he says, and then he hands you your things. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I will be,” you say, “I’m just about sick of his shit anyways, if you’ll pardon my vulgarity, and if I don’t rip into him then my mother will. Again, I am so sorry.”

“You take care now, son.”

You smile and nod, your chest tight with worry and face burning with embarrassment. Not much else is said, but there’s not really a whole lot else to say. You take a deep breath, brace yourself, and step outside.

Your father stops his pacing and immediately goes off when you step outside. “Where the hell do you get off embarrassing me like that?!”

Having lost all patience with him today, you immediately match his tone and energy and yell back. “Oh don’t give me all the credit, you did a fine enough job of that yourself!”

“That boy was out of line!”

“So you started berating him in front of his father? You started insulting him?”

“Do you not understand how inappropriate that joke was?”

“No, enlighten me.”

“He was implying you’re a queer! A queer! Why aren’t you upset about that?!”

There it is again.

You press on. “Why should I be?”

“You know why!”

“What the hell is your problem? Why are you so mad about that?”

“What are people going to say if they think I raised a queer?”

“It can’t be anything worse than what they’re going to say about you going off on an old man and his son for stupid reasons!” You grin angrily at him. “Front page, ‘owner of Kuznetsov Shipping Company verbally abuses shopkeeper's son.’ Like you need the bad press when you’re starting to get your shit back together. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you today?”

“What’s wrong with me? I could ask the same thing to you!” your father spits. “You’re going to defend some… some…!”

“Let’s not say anything too deplorable now,” you tell him, like a parent talking to a fussy toddler, “you might want to save that for when we get home.”

“This is your fault,” your father growls.

“How is this my fault?”

“Those prissy little fairytales you keep writing,” he answers, “they think you’re a queer.”

“And what… what’s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong with– son, are you gay?”

“What? No! Besides, I don’t have to be gay to think you’re being an ass, I can still see you, and they can probably hear you spouting hate from the palace.”

“You don’t have a wife, or a girlfriend, you don’t try to find one, and you spend all day reading girly books!”

“Like you’re any better,” you snap, and then immediately regret.

“What was that?”

Fuck. Well, you’re already in it now.

“You are obsessed with Pantalone,” you tell your father, “obsessed with getting on his good side, obsessed with making sure he likes you, your practices, that we don’t embarrass you in front of him, you even hijacked the afternoon tea he invited me and only me to! You want to point fingers and call me gay because I write romance? At least all my books are about men and women! You literally spend every day thinking about how to impress another man.”

You watch your father wind his arm back, but he’s stopped and seized by gloved hands. You step back in surprise, and when he’s pulled back, you can see he’s been grabbed by two guards. It brings you back to the present moment, and reminds you that you aren’t one of two people in the whole world. You look around the snowy street and see people, couples and families and a couple tourists, frozen in their spots on the street just staring at the spectacle. You look up at the shop and see the old man watching you, concerned.

“Unhand me!” your father yells.

“Sir, I’m going to ask you to calm down before you do anything stupid,” replies the guard.

A third guard steps out from behind the first tow and approaches you. “What is the meaning of all this yelling?”

“A-Ah…” You look over and spot your dad, no longer resisting, glaring daggers at you. “It’s… a family dispute.” 

“A family dispute?”

“Look, I’m sorry about causing a scene,” you answer, “my father and I had a disagreement, no one got hurt–”

“Because we stopped him from hitting you.”

“I know, I know, just…” You sigh. “I don’t want to press any charges, if there’s a fine for disturbing the peace, we’ll pay it.”

The guard looks to the other two, then to your father. He sighs, then turns back to you. “... Fine. We’re letting you off with a warning.” He looks over at your father and points at you as he addresses him. “You’re only off the hook because of him,” he says, then turns to you, “and you’re still on your feet because we stepped in. Remember this next time you let a family dispute get heated.”

“O-Of course, sir,” you reply.

The guards let your father go, and he gives them a dirty look while he straightens his coat back out. You don’t bother with sticking around, electing to instead turn around and walk down the street of murmuring people. Your father doesn’t bother calling out for you to follow him home, heading in the opposite direction instead.

You keep your gaze forward as you head to a currently unknown destination, just wanting to be anywhere else. Maybe the bakery down the road, something sweet would do a good job washing the bitter taste out of your mouth. 

The Pantalone comment was stupid, you think as you happen to pass the man himself, though your humiliation and wish to not be seen makes you figuratively blind to that fact (as well as literally). He stops when he recognizes who just passed him, half tempted to call out and ask how you’re doing, but refrains. Your body language is obvious and painfully honest, almost to a fault, and he can see you want to vacate the area as soon as possible. When he happens to look the other way, recognizing the silhouette of your father angrily storming in the opposite direction, he sighs.

“So that’s what all that racket was…”

[angelxd-3303]

Tw: blood

Finally! My first finished piece in almost a month and a half! Seasonal depression has been kicking my butt, but I'm insanely happy with how this turned out!

I think part of my problem has been trying to force myself to draw stuff that I think my fans expect and want. I want to finish my time travel comic, but I don't know if I'll be able to anytime soon. As such, I've decided to transfer to writing. I'll post a link to it when I post the first chapter, and once I find motivation to continue the comic I'll do so. It's not that I'm not interested in Mario anymore, it's just a matter of hyperfixations changing. Now and again I'll post Mario stuff; it'll always be an important part of my life. It just won't be the main focus. I'm finding my motivation in other things rn, like Fnaf. And that may change, phases come and go. I'm slowly coming to accept, however, that I produce the best art when I'm happy and excited about the subject. Forcing myself to draw certain things because I want to make others happy is a big part of why my motivation is lacking.

In other words, I'm still gonna post Mario stuff every now and then, but I'm gonna be exploring my other interests. I hope everyone understands, and I love you guys so much!

(also, this is just a lineup of some of my favorite animatronics, ignore the little fella in the middle, he's definitely not important... Definitely not something bigger... Nope.)

[intotheelliwoods]

❗️Angst potential ahead❗️(so don't read if like, you don't like potential bestie angst)

Okay so I've been thinking about how one got to witness sprout as like a kid, teen, whatever you want to call it while he's still in his bad boy era(how the heck do ppl put the tm) and then him as an adult, one barely having aged one bit. This got me thinking about the potential of the time differences between the 2al world and the slau world.

What if one day the besties stop seeing eachother and one goes through his entire redemption arc without poptart having seen it. What if one decides to finally see poptart again to tell him of all the crazy things that he went through and what had happened (and totaly not to try and apologize for being such a bad friend, nooooo, why on earth would one do that?(interpret this how you want))... Only to find out poptart is no longer around. And oh, what this... tears? Now it all makes sense to one. Oneion was so deadbent on trying to let poptart know he was an amazing friend not because the apocolaspe didn't allow him to see him anymore but because the time difference didn't allow him to. He stands infront of the hamto family's ofrenda conflicted. How should he feel, should he even feel? I mean he never really officially stated that poptart was a friend or someone close. So was it right to cry for someone he tried so hard to push away all those times ago... he didn't know the answer so he just stood there.

Though he was grateful he even got to have him in his life even if it was for so little time.

Anyways I hope that made sense, I feel I could add more but that would take way too much thinking...kay bye👋

-lime

WHAT IF THEY GOT TO GROW UP HAPPY TOGETHER INSTEAD! WHAT THEN!! 🥺

And for real, we are a huge fan of the besties angst <3 Dont look at the ideas that @dianagj-art and I have that currently only live on in old discord messages

It is so weird though because, yeah 2AL DOES move faster time wise than SLAU, and hell if I can get my motivation to work on the main comic series back up I would not be surprised if I finish the main series entirely by the end of the year (which includes a time skip!!!! (happy ending promise)) We just... sorta try to ignore that... and pretend that the besties timeline is its own whole separate thing aha

BUT, at some point he besties DO break up, right before Ones redemption/recovery arc. And similar to what you mentioned here, One does have a lot of regret for how he treated Poptart and for how he never acknowledged him as a true friend. Though unlike your idea, One is able to make that apology eventually after a few months, then the besties are stronger than ever with a post-redeemed One😌👊

Will that idea ever make it to drawing form? Ha no clue, though if you want more details I would recommending asking Diana since its a very One centered moment!

[sineala]

Lots of love to you Sine💞💞 you are always my favorite stony writer! And I also enjoy your comic reviews so much <3

I’ve been rereading Straight On Till Morning these days, and it’s still one of the best ST AU fanfics I’ve ever read. How’s the sequel going? (I know this question has been asked before😣 hope it will not disturb you!) I’m really looking forward to your new stories!

Wish you and your wife all the best! 🥰🥰🥰

Hey! Sorry it took me a while to get around to answering this; I got this ask on US Election Day and there was, you know, kind of a lot going on at the time. It's very sweet of you to wish me well and I also hope that you are well. I feel like I am doing about as well as most people I know. I am surviving.

I am not sure if you saw this answer from a couple months ago to the last person who asked me about Star Trek AU progress. At that point, I was working on the last scene of Chapter 4 and by the end of the month I had finished the last scene of Chapter 4. The chapter -- as well as Chapter 3 -- is 60,000 words long; the last scene of that chapter is 20,000 words long, so it did take me until the end of October to get that wrapped up. Some of this will probably come out in editing. But I am pretty excited about having gotten that far because the last few scenes of the chapter were the ones I originally wanted to write the story for, so those have been living in my head for about seven years. (I do not think I can describe why I wanted to write them without spoiling the entire plot, but it involves making a harrowingly terrible decision for a very noble reason and then having to deal with the consequences.)

My draft is currently up to 190k and is easily the longest thing I have ever written. I know people who are not me would probably post some of this as a WIP but that is not happening for a few reasons. One is that I am the exact opposite of the people who are motivated to write more by getting comments on a WIP; I tried posting a WIP once and it just made my brain go "okay, cool, I have received feedback, my need to write this story is now sated." Two is that I like to foreshadow things and I keep having to go back and readjust events in the previous chapters to make them make sense with the plot. Three is that if I posted up to the last finished chapter I have, you would all want to knock me down and rifle through my pockets to find the rest of the story, and the rest of it only exists in my head.

So I'm working on Chapter 5 (out of 6 total). Chapter 5 here is the big action chapter where hopefully all the story wraps up. I started that at the beginning of November, got about 15,000 words in, and then I got derailed by, uh, major political events, and then also unexpectedly spending the second half of November being ill with some random virus that was neither covid nor the flu. So that meant I didn't get a whole lot of words in. So far this month I have had a two-day migraine so, uh, we're not starting out great, but that means there's plenty of room for improvement.

But I am still going! I may end up finishing some other stories in the meantime -- it is now holiday exchange season and I want to see if I can get anything written for anyone's stocking in the 616 Steve/Tony server -- but I promise I am working on this.

[noelles-legacy]

Finally, it is complete!

Oh. My. God. This took way too long to complete, but finally Noelle’s character sheet is complete!… at least for now 😅 the first half I completed very fast and I had all of these amazing ideas and it turned out amazing, just how I imagined it… but then came the second half, and I had all these things I wanted to share about her character, but then I started loosing steam and hit a huge art block. It took two weeks more then I had initially intended because I had little motivation or inspiration to add on to it, but slowly and surely I finished it.

I understand that this is a bit different from my other “gameplay related” comics, but i thought it would be fun to share who my MC is, and to give a more clearer look on her personality and background for anyone who is curious or wants to perhaps draw Noelle with there Mc (which btw I would absolutely LOVE ❤️ if you ever want to, plz do, just tag me ❤️❤️)

There’s so much more about her character and background that I still want to share, however there’s a it too much to fit in a scrapbook page so perhaps in the future I will find the time to type it out and share it, or even slowly reveal it in some short stories I’m thinking about (perhaps start ao3 and what not, idk just a thought 😏) but for now this is what I shall reveal for now. Also plz ignore if some of her history doesn’t make complete sense, I’m still working on it…

[palskippah]

Hellowi pretty people I come over to ramble about random Nimona projects and stuff bc I'm excited about them but nothing's finished

I'm writing a short thing for fun with the idea of Ambrosius getting hearing loss because of the explosion that made Nimona and the laser and I'm listening to songs to see if I get inspo for the title (so far the doc is called 'Ambrosius gets hearing damage' but that's not cool JSKSHD), and listening to Mistki I was like omg a fic called Why Not Me. But then I was like omg a fic regarding Nimona and her monster form with the title 'I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down' but then I was like no omg what about a fic about comic goldenheart with the title 'I always want you when I'm finally fine'

I have no idea what qualifies as a good lyrics title but I think they work

And I literally have no ideas besides a phrase and the vibes for it, and still got no title for the temporarily deaf Ambrosius thing but it's so fun to do this sjdkdj (also, I really like the headcanon of him getting permanent but parcial (?) hearing loss on the ear that was closest to the explosion, it makes sense) (also I've experienced some partial hearing loss (?) at some point earlier this year and it's just so not fun to go through that bc people get very mad at you when you need them to repeat themselves more than twice and ask them to be louder pipipi anyways everything keeps happening around him and Ambrosius doesn't catch half of it and he feels a bit too helpless and scared of not hearing again but it works out in the end (more or less))

I see why everyone always picks lyrics as title names they're so coolest also mistki's songs are so good 😔🙏 they make me sad and happy at the same time sjddj

Another thing that has a long way to go and I'm trying to find a title for is an au of the gay dads au with mpreg where Ballister is from the beginning Nimona's dad and Ambrosius is that ex that by chance slowly makes his way back to his life and accidentally becomes Nimona's stepdad (like in Look Who's Talking? I think sjdkdj) also Meredith's there and she's cool and doing her own thing, I'm glad I read the comic bc I changed her relationship with Ballister in the fic and I think it works better with his decisions and motivations and all that stuff

(in my head it's very epic but to you it may seem like anything JSKDH)

Ballister is not really having a good time (lonely, unsure about his decision, scared and stuff, especially when he has to have her) but he has his good moments, promise. Also he hugs Meredith and she pats his back awkwardly like in the comic, at some point

Also as soon as Ballister finds out that Nimona's a girl he gets many very pink clothes pipipi Ambrosius gets him pink stuff for her too bc he sees any cute baby clothes or accessories and he's like hey I bet Ballister would like this for his baby :) and buys it

Nimona doesn't like him much when she's born, and he's like aw c'mon :( I bought you so many gifts pipipi I helped fold your tiny little clothes that one time !! (Ballister points out that he had done a very shitty job at it and Ambrosius shushes him, covering Nimona's ears)

ALSO

I'm drawing stuff for a TikTok post about mpreg but for comic goldenheart and trying to make the comic plot fit into it and it's so silly bc they have nothing to do with one another.

Ambrosius and Ballister don't beat the shit out of each other at the bar but Ballister goes away all angrily while Ambrosius walks behind him going Ballister I'm not done talking to you !!! >:(

And Ballister's like I am !! >:( and then there's another drawing of him leaning against a wall with one hand going damnit because he overworked himself, and Ambrosius going all *touching his hands together nervously* do you need to sit down :(? And Ballister going ...no. fuck off.

Also Nimona telling him to just abort that thing when he first told her (and he hadn't known yet what to do about it), and then when Cyrus' born he's staring angrily at her (he's not, he's just newly born and scrunched) and Nimona's like, holy shit boss, he remembers 😟 and Ballister's like, ?? How's he gonna remember, he doesn't even know you.

Also Ballister getting sad about the discussion at the bar and Nimona cheering him up with the science fair, but him going this won't trick anybody, look at me😔 *gestures to his pregnant self* and Nimona's like, nah boss you just look like you got a beer gut, it'll work. How they manage to run away from the guards/knights and all that when Nimona's stuck in cat form, that's not my business 🧐

Also Cyrus is born sometime before the whole Ballister freaking out about Nimona's powers, so he's somewhere in the kingdom being babysat by a nice older lady or something when Nimona's part is destroying everything. Or maybe he's just peacefully sleeping very far away in the lair and Ballister goes around the whole thing with a baby monitor, whichever option works. (Neither does 😭)

So yeah yippie I wanna post this stuff but nothing's finished pipipi 😔

[elsa-fogen]

So uhhh quick question what would you do if you wanted to finish something (an art cough cough) but everytime you tried to finish it, your motivation just keeps flicking in and out and made you have a hard time finishing it and almost made you wanna give up and leave it unfinished?

Sorry for the long question but i have SO many unfinished drawings that i want to post so bad but couldn't for sum reason 😭

And you're the only artist so far that i know almost post around every 3-5 days

You don't have to answer this but can you pls give me youtube art tutorials that help you?

So very sorry for disturbing you 😅

i'm not the best person to ask for advice, honestly. Maybe it'll sound too prideful, but i consider myself a really special case. I don't hate myself and my art (mostly), i don't suffer while drawing, and i've never had an "art block" in my life. I've been drawing my whole life, and if you count all days when i didn't draw anything you'll get... well, maybe 2-3 years out of my 24. I think. so, anything i say may not be helpful.

Actually almost everything you see in my blog are just colored sketches, not finished art

woops haha

Maybe that'll work for you too? try to just color your sketches and post them as they are. When i realised that my works don't have to be fully finished, my life become much easier. And i was really surprised to find out how many people can enjoy my comics even if they're just sketches. Of course, comics with cool art and colors will get more attention, but in the end, you won't get any attention if you don't post anything. so i know for a fact that i can't pull out a fully rendered comic, and all i can do - just sketches, and in this case it's better to post at least them then post absolutely nothing. There will be people who enjoy them.

and very often stuff you did for fun has more attention then those things you spend much time and effort (like how my shitty meme got 10k notes out of nowhere)

but when i need to finish something i just make myself do it. Just breaking myself over a knee. And don't start anything else before it's done.

It helps when you have a date when the art should be finished, and consequences if it's not. Yeah.

And EXCUSE YOU, I ACTUALLY POST EVERY DAY! gee, no respect on this hellish site for my hard work /very much J

And i don't watch any art tutorials aha- i watch reactions or game playthroughs, or some blogger ramble about some cartoon while drawing.

so yeah, kinda messy, as all my text posts are... but hope it'll help you. Good luck with your art!

[bloodycherry22]

Adoration | Ellie Williams

Genre: Sub!Ellie, smut

Summary: Ellie likes- no, adores you, she sees you easily killing enemies as if it is a usual mundane task and can’t help but feel attracted to you, little did she know, you quite like her too. She’s on a your patrol route, and finds herself needing you, you sure as hell don’t mind.

Warnings: Violence (against hunters) smut, a lot of making out, the knee thing, fingering, over-stimulation, Ellie receiving, cussing..um gayness? i dunno read at your own risk lmao.

Not proofread, 3k+ words.

Ellie couldn't take her eyes off you, travelling over your form as you skillfully swung the weapon laced tightly in your fingers. She seriously couldn't fathom how you held yourself with so much confidence, the way that you easily swung swords and launched arrows with not a shine of fear in your eyes. It motivated her, impressed her. She stood beside you, quietly sharpening her dagger, a small smile upon her face.

The rock she was sat on sure wasn't comfy but it would do, you had both only planned to take a small break to collect yourselves, having been patrolling for about an hour. The beginning of the route, she had seen countless times yet you were about to enter unknown territory for her, a route usually Joel took, or you. She had never been on patrol with you but with Jesse and Dina going together, as they were finally dating..again., you offered to take her.

She had instantly accepted, rarely getting the opportunity to have a one on one chat with you as most hangouts included mutual friends. But boy, she had always wanted too, she didn't know that you had just been waiting for the right opportunity to ask her, just as desperate to hang out with her as she was with you. She looked down at her dagger and decided that she was finished with her task, throwing the thin rock to the ground, making a quiet thud, as she stuffed the dagger into it's selected place.

Your gaze landed on her at the sudden noise, checking to see what its was before puffing a small chuckle out, she quietly laughed in response. "Sorry" She apologized and nodded at the rock.

You shook your head, lips curling into a smile "It's no worries" You nodded at the pathway ahead, beginning to carefully walk downhill, she followed, the sound of her light footsteps reassuring you of her presence. "So, how come Jesse and Dina are out together, i thought they-"

"Broke up? Yeah, happens all the time, they always end up back together" She said comically and you laughed a little, nodding "I see, didn't know they got over it so fast, they only broke up like last week"

"Yeah, romance just falls at their feet, weird huh?" She asked, before near slipping, arms spreading out in attempt to steady herself however you were quick to place your hand on her shoulder, basically catching her. Her hand was quick to land on yours as she fixed her balance, a light shade of pink dusting her cheeks. "Very" You teased, smiling, face hinting at mischief as you ushered her to stand in front of you. "It's only downhill for a little longer, then it's basically flatland, minus quite a few lakes, it's why the horses aren't really meant to come this way." You stated, placing your hand on her lower back to keep her steady as you both began to trudge through the light layer of mud decorating the hill.

She nodded "Yeah, i think shimmer wouldn't even consider this trail, if anything she'd snort and storm off" She joked, causing some light laughter. When you had finally reached the bottom of the hill, you jumped ahead of her to reach out a hand for her, there being a steep jump down, no higher than 4ft.

Her eyes widened as she watched you mindlessly jump down, an impressed laugh slipping out of her as she shook her head and took your hand, she feeling of her soft yet calloused hand gripping yours making your skin prick with invasive goosebumps that you're sure she noticed, because you sure as hell noticed the way her facial expression changed. A small smile spread across her freckled, slightly red cheeks, eyes not daring to meet yours. You helped her down and looked around, sadly dropping her hand, though she didn't complain.

The setting was different to all the other patrols, being more of a mountain side area, the view being mostly hills and mountains further away, still quite high up, but a clear bit of flat land surrounding you, both of your figures encased by the forest, a wide man-made path showing through the trees. Your eyes flickered around the trees, making sure there were no straggling runners or infected from your last patrol and to your surprise, there was none.

"Hey, Ells, be on edge, kay?" You stated, the nickname rolling off your tongue with ease, although her chest fluttered and face froze at it, heat bundling in her, she couldn't help the excitement. Yet she regained focus and held her dagger tightly, staying close behind you. "It is unusually quiet" She mumbled and you nodded, scoping out the area, when she turned to look around, she suddenly felt a grip on her arm, pulling her back, just as she was about to say something, a hand covered her mouth.

She was prepared to attack until a soft hand held the one holding her dagger, and suddenly she inhaled the scent she knew to be yours. Turning to look at you, confusion plastered all over her flustered face, you removed your hand from her mouth and held it to your own, signalling to shush.

As she caught on, she looked around, you had pulled her into the deeper side of the forest, everywhere drowned in shades of green, hard to actually see into, although you knew hiding spots. You would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy the way it felt to have her in your arms, even if it was just for a second, how close she was, how you could smell the strong woodiness and musk yet somehow feminine scent coming from her, making it hard to focus, the reason behind why it took you so long to prevent her from stabbing you.

Soon, you heard some deep gruff voices, the reason you had pulled Ellie away, she looked at you dumbfounded "You noticed them?" She whispered and with a proud smirk, you nodded, peeking around, landing on the group of three men, presumably hunters or just travelling men, either way, they were covered in blood splatters and all looked like the usual, bigot, generally disrespectful man.

They were talking about some girl, something they had done, something not worthy to have on their conscience, you and Ellie shared a look of agreement before you carefully loaded your bow as their voices grew closer. You watched, carefully aiming s they aggressively talked to one another, walking single file , bacls now facing you, so you took the chance. Firing an arrow directly at the last mans head, watching as he silently dropped to the ground, you nodded at Ellie for her to go around.

"Kyle? Shit! Kyle's dead!" One of the men yelled, however you were already heading towards them, an arrow flying straight through the yelling mans head as you mumbled a string of degrading curse words towards him before making eye contact with the now fearful man. He held up his hatchet and swung it around as if to warn you but you just raised an eyebrow, putting your bow away behind your back with care, ignoring his remarks, he seemed utterly confused. That was until Ellie grabbed him from behind and slit his throat, dodging the blood as best as she could.

You looked around before sighing in relief, looking into Ellie's deep eyes, she chuckled lightly as you did the same. "They were really dumb" You said, astonished. She laughed and nodded "I'm glad you see that too" She said, beginning to walk beside you, she noticed the way you looked around, now checking your surroundings with more depth. "It's kind of getting dark" Ellie stated, looking around at the sunset.

"Fuck, i forgot, we came out later, I didn't even consider the shorter days" You groaned and paused, looking back at the direction you came from. "I don't think climbing up that slope in the dark is a good idea" You suggested and Ellie nodded, seeming to not like the idea one bit. "So, what do we do?" Ellie asked, sincerely, making eye contact with you, it was clear that she was gaining more confidence around you and you took notice of it, shining her a smile and saying "Don't panic, I know there's a few buildings just outside of the woods." You confirmed and she nodded.

So, you both walked, with more care, towards the exit of the woods, shoulders bumping with almost every step, bodies just brushing against each other, Ellie looking around to avoid making eye contact, too flustered by the gentle touches but you weren't embarrassed, not hiding the glances you took at her, admiring the way her hair fell over her face that now seemed to permanently have a blush painting her cheeks, the way her hand rested over the dagger tucked away, tattoo just showing through her sleeve.

You brushed some leaves away and held them up for her as she stepped out of the forestry, sending you a thankful smile. She then stopped and looked around, you nodded at a small patch of forestry a few meters up and she raised a brow. Despite her clear confusion, she walked towards the trees and bushes, glancing back at you every few steps, you just laughing a little and nodding forward.

Once you reached it, you stepped in front of her and pushed some fallen branches to the side, revealing a trapdoor. "Found this a few weeks ago, and I've never had to stay in it overnight, but there's countless times I've just came here for some peace and quiet." You informed and she seemed shocked, looking around, no one would even have guessed there to be a bunker, but you did.

She watched as you opened it up and held it open for her, she smiled once again before climbing in, staying near the entrance and waiting for you. She had second guessed how close she had stood to the entrance as she suddenly felt your breath against the back of her neck, your hands clenching into tight fists a to not land on her waist, feeling a sense of tension in the air. You broke the heat of the moment by flicking the light on "Solar power" You muttered, hand gently nudging her forward. It wasn't huge, but it held a bed, a couch, a mini fridge and a table. It was ever so slightly cluttered and there was a small pile of novels and comics you had clearly left.

Ellie moved around to explore as you locked the trapdoor, not wanting any trouble. "Who do you think owned this?" She asked, hand brushing over the couch, then table before turning to you.

"Pff, god knows..not many people, couldn't have been more than one or two of them living here" You shrugged "But I assure you, they aren't here anymore" You joked, chuckling lightly and she, again, smiled in response. Her hand fumbled with some of the comics, flicking through the pile as you dropped your belongings and flopped onto the old couch.

She grabbed one of the comics and sat beside you, knees touching as the couch was only small, you tipped your head back against the soft cushion and kept your eyes on her, your arm spreading over the back of the couch, just millimeters away from being around her. She didn't seem to mind and started flicking through the pages, you watched, a small hmm leaving your mouth. "What?" she asked, not looking away from the graphic novel in her hands, you just shook your head, even though she couldn't see, pulling a leaf out of her hair with a cheeky smile. She lifted her gaze to the leaf before looking at you with a n impressed face, laughing a little. "Heavy forestry" She stated and you nodded, gaze flickering over her face, noticing a little blood.

"Blood" You commented, lifting your over hand to gently swipe your thumb over her cheek, wiping away the blood as you leaned closer to examine it. "It's not mine" She reassured and you nodded, noticing no injury, but not straying from your position, admiring the closeness between your figures.

You noticed the way her eyes moved up and down, looking at your eyes and lips frequently. You smirked at her lingering gaze on your lips, out of habit licking them, she seemed to shudder and looked back up at your eyes, it suddenly felt as if she was closer. But you weren't complaining at all. With another hum, you closed the gap, hand on the side of her face as your fingertips just gently dug into her hair, lips pressing softly against hers.

She was shocked to say the least, having completely doubted the idea you liked her back, but when she came to her senses she kissed back desperately as if the world depended on it. Your other hand pulled the comic book out of her grip and gently dropped it to the ground, smirking into the kiss as her hands snaked around your neck. You tilted your head to the side to deepen the kiss, feeling her fingers tangle into your hair.

Suddenly she pulled back, staying close, both of you breathing heavily, chuckling lightly. "I've wanted to do that for so long" You confessed and she nodded bashfully "I've wanted you to do that, for so long" She explained, in between breaths.

Both of you looked at each other in a comfortable silence, before you removed your hand from her face and let it fall to her waist, turning her body to face you. She watched as you kneel between her legs that now lay comfortably on the couch pillows, her back against the side of the couch. With a content smile, you leaned in to kiss her again, letting your lips part with hers into an open mouth kiss, tongues meeting in a desperate ecstasy, fighting for dominance.

You experimentally lifted your knee to her heat, feeling the way her body jolted at the sensation and a quiet whimper filled the kiss. You shivered at the sound, feeling your head spin at her reaction.

With a quiet sigh, you felt the way she gently began rocking against your knee, high pitched sounds being muffled by the kiss. Lips moving perfectly against your own somehow, despite her pleasure. Even though you didn't want to, you pulled away from the kiss, noticing her lips were now a darker shade of red from your affection. Her eyes were glassed over, looking at you as her mouth stayed open, she watched the way you dipped into the crook of her neck, leaving gentle kisses on the skin you could clearly see, nibbling gently in an attempt to leave light marks on her collarbone.

You began to tense your thigh, noticing the way she let out a choked moan, hands gripping the material of your shirt. You smirked, trailing kisses up to her jaw, pausing by her ear to whisper "C'mon baby, cum for me" You teased, feeling the way her thighs attempted to close around you, the noises growing louder and hips sputtering, all signalling her orgasm. Her grip on your shirt loosened as she fell back against the couch, panting.

With a proud smirk, you sat up to kiss her, only for a few seconds before looking into her eyes. "Fuck" She mumbled and you laughed lightly, her eyes stayed on you, one of her hands reaching to brush some hair out of your face. "Why haven't we done this sooner?" She asked and you shrugged comically, letting your fingers dance down to her hips, hooking under the material of her jeans, feeling the goosebumps on her skin.

Slowly, you unbuckled the buttons and gave her a look of questioning, as if asking if it was okay. "Yes- please" She nodded, responding in less than a second, voice needy and breathy. You pursed your lips in anticipation and tugged down her jeans along with her underwear, leaving them just below her knees, not wanting to deal with the effort.

She lifted her head to kiss your collarbone, as if giving you something in return, but her gentle touching faltered a the feeling of your fingertip gently circling her clit, a gasp emitting from her, breath hot against your skin. You snickered a little, letting your other hand gently rub at the skin of her thigh, her kissing resuming, one of her hands playing with your hair, careful not to mess it up. Your finger moved, teasing her for just a moment, staying still before pushing it into her, thumb landing on her clit, a surprised mewl escaping her mouth, muffling into your neck. Her kisses made your eyes flutter shut as you began to thrust your finger back and forth slowly, curling it with every movement. Her kisses grew faultier, mouth open, her whimpers ringing in your ear pleasantly, encouraging you.

You carefully began to speed up your movements, feeling the way her cunt tightened and the way she began to moan, her hand gently tugging at your hair. Your thumb began to circle her clit at a fast pace, applying pressure. Her free hand landed on your wrist as her head fell back against the couch, eyes looking into yours as she shook her head. " 's too much, y/n" She whined, breath hitching as you kept going, relishing on the way she gripped your wrist and the way her eyes closed, panting.

"You can take it, know you can" You teased, voice having a sense of fake comfort to it, loving the way her back arched and hips began to buck against your hand. A loud moan came from her, biting down on her lip to quieten herself as she came undone onto your hand, her release coating your hand.

You smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to her jaw as you slowly removed your hand, taking her own into yours and interlacing your fingers with hers. She breathed heavily, eyes screwed shut as she tried to regain full consciousness. "Holy shit.." She breathed out "y-your turn" She mumbled, eyes fluttering open.

A/n: I'm so sorry if this is bad, i just wrote continuously for hours and then boom, a fic. I hope it's okay to the original requester, part two anyone?

[skynight110]

Child Of The Monsters

A monsterverse fic:

You can't remember when it all began. When something changed. Or maybe you could, if you thought deep enough on it. All you knew now though, was that you were alone. Because of them. Because of Him. If only you weren't so young when this all began, perhaps you could have prevented everything; the death of your parents, being one. Being forced to give up your childhood "for the sake of humanity" being another. But alas, nothing could change what has happened, and all you could do now was try and escape this hell that's been built around you, and pray to whatever deity is out there to grace you with luck. Because if they find out, if He finds out.....

The sake of the world, the sake of your life, the sake of every little good thing you've managed to keep, will be at stake.

•••

Hello, hello. I've decided to post my story here on Tumblr just...because lol. You can find it both on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/55869871

Or wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/366621677?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=KnockoutRules

Updates will most likely be posted on these two first, and I'll post when I remember to on here. However, to be up to date I'd suggest reading on either of those platforms.

Like on both of those, here is important information that I insist you glance over before reading:

This story is definitely inspired by Screaming into the Voids "Y/n, Child of the Monsters///Platonic!Yandere!Godzilla/Titans x Child/Teen!Reader" on Quotev, I suggest going and checking it out, however it is incomplete and I'm unsure if the writer is still interested in finishing it. With that out of the way, this will be a "yandere" type story, and will have normal Godzilla movie themes in it such as

- death

- canon-typical violence(cmon, it's godzilla, he's going to end up ripping something in half)

- spoilers for the movies(except gxk, I haven't seen it yet)

and themes I've added in. There will be

- "talking" kaiju, however they don't physically speak to humans, rather its an insight into their thoughts/feelings

- mentions/forms of telepathy

I personally headcanon that mothra can "tap" into others, and while she can't speak fluent, she can send emotions or brief thoughts to others that aren't close to her. Godzilla can do similar things, but it takes more focus for him, and it works better through touch. But it doesn't happen very often.

- some forms of experimentation, both on humans and kaiju

I want to make it clear that there is no romance in this, it's purely platonic.

I've tried to align readers age with how the movies are set in time, so here's a quick guide if any of you get confused:

Reader is born in 2009, they are 5 during the events of 2014.

By the events of Kotm, reader is 10.

Gvk, reader is 12, and this is mostly where the story will take place, and continue onwards.

In GxK, reader is 15.

I also won't be adding in much from the comics because I haven't read them, but there's a chance I'll add in some small things that I've managed to find out.

As for plot family wise, as stated your parents don't appear for too long. They ded. But you will have other family members! For my own sake to make it easier for me I'm gonna make reader related to the Russels; Mark being your uncle and Madison being your cousin, simply because of plot wise it makes it easier for me to use them.

If there are any questions, feel free to comment them, I'll do my best to answer them to best of my ability.

ALSO

Fair warning now, even though I like writing, I lose motivation VERY fast. So if I fall of the face of the earth for a bit, don't be surprised. I have stuff to do in my life too, seeing as I'll be graduating next year and need to get my stuff together. If you're worried that I'll be discontinuing this story, just ask in the comments, I promise I'll answer, later or right away. I'm the kind of writer that will have random spouts of motivation in the middle of the night when I'm tired, or in the middle of the day when I'm busy.

But, I will try my best to commit to this, because I really want to write this to give both myself and everyone who finds this a story with the Big G, because there are so few out there.

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 1: pre-gaming

webcomic day is a yearly celebration of the art form concocted by the screentones podcast team as a way for people to see how the sausage gets made. my webcomic "a ghost story" has been running for over 10 years, and yet i still don't think i can say i am good at making a webcomic. regardless, the comic is getting made because otherwise i become very, very sick in the head. today i would like to share with you the process of making a page of "A Ghost Story" from start to finish. either this demystifies the process or will make you think im so cool and strong for doing this 2x a week. instead of reblogging this one post until it gets very long, i will be posting individual updates that i will then compile and post on my personal website. block the tags now if you HATE comics and want them to EXPLODE.

if you have any questions, even things like "what the fuck are you even talking about" feel free to ask. i want to feel confident in what i make again and i think sometimes interrogation from an outside source is really

---

that said, let's get started. wait just kidding i want a cup of coffee first, hold on.

ok now im ready. i have a big glass of water. i have coffee. i have a headset for the parts of work that don't involve typing words. i can't type words and listen to some streamer babble in my ear at the same time, so it has to be instrumental music or nothing. i just took my meds so they should kick in after about 30 mins. i woke up late today, which is weird and annoying. but maybe i can work late instead.

first off, i need to know where i'm going beyond this one page. if i dont know where im going with something, then i usually create something that sucks that i have to deal with later. hold on my internet died, i have to reset the router. ok, anyway.

what's rattling around in my brain is that not only do i have to deal with maxine's current predicament, i am also dealing with multiple plot elements i need to wrap back around to from the previous chapter. luckily, im about to put maxine down for a nap, which means i can get back to those other elements:

i need to finish the exposition from the three ankou characters for this story arc establishing their motivations as the oppositional force in the story. the "villain" is not these three specifically, but their boss. they need to have a loose understanding of what's going on in order to communicate this to the audience. god this started turning into a huge ass paragraph so i'll just keep it short there.

we've jumped back to before jack's horrible day from the first chapter of this storyline so we have to make our way back toward that and then lapping it, which means wrapping up his various open threads like:

feeding victoria and learning something new about her

finding out alice is a very exceptional employee who is getting many awards

watching valdo call lily while interrupting her during something personal to ask her for help with maxine's situation.

jack meeting with valdo and lily the day after they first met so jack can just tell them straight up that lily has 4 sisters she doesnt know about.

help that girl with her poltergeist problem. remember that. i've had jokes for this rattling in my head for like 4 years. im going insane.

and also the fucking tilberi!!! that has a point its going somewhere!!! there's a larger menace here!!!

other things to set up the climax of this storyline. sexual tensions, hints at larger emotional problems not immediately evident to the reader

lots of moving parts. and i feel like im moving in slow motion to get to them. i can see them all weaving together in my head, its the process of putting that onto paper that's proving difficult.

ok that took an hour starting and stopping. -_- let me write the next part as i keep brainstorming on how to approach this page. taking a "rubber duck" approach to this might help. heres an image from the last page i worked on (i have a 5 page buffer rn so the site does not match the finished pages) to get us semi-situated.

also because images will help people understand what skill level we're working with here. i need to be able to communicate an idea to the audience; if the art also looks good on top of that, then that's just an added bonus. but the ability to communicate my ideas is sometimes hampered by my lack of artistic skill or comics language ineptitude. like those speech bubbles kind of fucking suck but at a certain point you have to just hit print on what you're working on in order to keep your already glacial pace.

webcomics is a tightrope act where you're also spinning 4 plates at once. the trick is to keep the audience from realizing how many actually fall or how wobbly they all are. the act sucks but technically its not a failure.

[rose-riot-johnson]

News... I have finally decided to write about a particular character from the Dragon Ball series, which is Gohan, obviously😃👍I really figured I'd figure out on what his adulthood would be like, if either he was never with Videl or he was divorced and my motivation with doing so, is that I really wanted to find a way to write a fanfic about him without writing any fanfic ideas that will paint him in a bad light (especially if it's not my intention to do) pertaining with pairing him with the reader🤔💡As for the reader I do think the reader will have the author role or the role of someone who has ever thought of being an author💡📖✍️👩‍💻

👩‍💻📗🟠Since They're Not Going To Publish Your Story I Will Take You To Someone Who Will🟠📗👩‍💻(Gohan x Female Reader)

Genres: Comfort

You've been in a relationship with Gohan for a few years since, (up to the reader's imagination on when your relationship with him started and the situation (good or bad or both or neither) that led to you going out with him in the first place). Aside from your other income (up to reader's imagination pertaining the reader's income), you also have a passion for writing, especially with writing your own book and to find a publisher to publish your own book one day, regardless if it's paperback or digital (and/or online). With your passion for writing a book about (up to reader's imagination on what type of book the reader's working on), Gohan is excited to hear about it, considering that he does enjoy reading, especially comic books.

One day, you came home from a publisher, with tears in your eyes, as if you're worried about having a difficult time talking. Gohan noticed that you were feeling down, as he asked, "Is there something wrong, (female reader name)? And how was talking to the company that's supposed to publish the book you were working on?". You hesitated to talk at first, however you know you're hurting inside as not talking made you feel worse.

You broke down in tears, as you stated, "Today has just turned out to be a horrible day for me... The people who work inside of the company that I was going to have my book published through rejected the book I have written... They said that no one would want to read my garbage story, because they felt I shouldn't be an author due to how I written my story inside the book... They claim that this would be the worst book anyone would had ever read, said other horrible stuff about my book, then claimed no one's going to publish any of my books, claiming I should just give up being an author, while saying I suck at it to the point that I should forget about getting this book of mine or any stories, published! So, I'm just giving up!", as you started to sob. Gohan then went to hug you, with your head on his chest, as he responded, "No need to give up, hun... You just need to gather your thoughts and keep climbing... I get it wasn't a good day for you and you're under alot of stress, darling... I will let you lay down and take a nap... I'm reading your book to see why the people who are supposed to publish your book, refuse to publish your story... I will be back, precious...", before kissing your forehead, to let you lay on the bed you share with him, while he reads your story. He just knew something wasn't adding up about the publishers refusing to publish your story.

After Gohan finished reading the book you worked on, he watched you sleep, considering that he didn't want to wake you up. Once you woke up from your nap, he went on the bed to hold you, as he explained, "I finished reading your story and I wanted to makesure you wake up on your own to tell you this... Some of the things these people were saying are just uncalled for... Seems to me like these publishers are too judgemental and overly critical towards you based on how you have written your story for your book... They're far from constructive... I feel these people who refused to publish your story like to say things that are unsolicited statements... They're belittling you... Your book might need a little work... I just honestly think that your book isn't as bad, as they're making it out to be and your first book would have been an amazing book for reader's to read... I'm sure some people would read it... Tomorrow, I will take you to someone who might publish your story... It's not usually her thing to do... My dad (Goku) has told me this rumor that she might start publishing books...". "Okay, Gohan... I trust you...", you replied, while he's still holding you.

The next day, Gohan took you to Capsule Corporation to see about getting your book published here. "I thought Capsule Corporation isn't about publishing books, Gohan... I thought you were taking me to someone who might publish my story...", you commented, giving Gohan a confused look on your face. He responded, "I am, (female reader name)... This is why I took you to Capsule Corporation... And considering that Bulma is the founder of Capsule Corporation, an engineer, a scientist, and an inventor, she might actually start publishing books, according to my father... This is why I took you there, hun...".

Bulma then cheered, "Hello, Gohan and (female reader name)! What brings the both of you here?". Gohan then explained to Bulma about hearing a rumor pertaining the possibility of her possibly publishing books, as she confirmed that she is before she became curious, if there's any particular reason why he's interested to know. This was when Both you and Gohan explained a very long story about the people rejecting your story and their critical and judgemental reasons why they refused to publish your book. Bulma became mad when both you and Gohan mentioned about the name of publishing company who rejected your book.

Bulma remarked, "Oh I have heard of this publication company that you've mentioned to me about! I actually had a few incidents with those jerks before! And now they rejected your story over this!", before she vowed, "Don't worry, (female reader name)... They will be sorry for rejecting your book like that... I will see it through that your book will get published, since this is for you... I won't publish just for anyone... You're just one if those people I will publish for... I am definitely going to publish right away, since these people in the (publishing company name up to the reader's imagination), did you dirty, especially the evil boss there!", showing her devilish smile. You weren't sure how to take her devilish smile, however you were relieved that you've managed to finally find someone who's willing to publish your very first story. "See, (female reader name)? Everything is going to work out now... I knew there was someone who would publish your story...", Gohan happily said.

In the matter of days and weeks of getting your story published, you managed to get millions of copies of your published book sold. Gohan (and Bulma) celebrate your success of your published story. There are even fans and critics alike who said plenty of good things about your book and there's a critic who even said you have a bright future ahead of you, the way you gave written your story and would want to see you write more stories in the future.

As for the publishing company who rejected your story a while ago, the truth somehow came to many people, including your fans and critics to the point where the publishing company tried pleading to you about publishing the next book you make, as they admitted they were wrong for rejecting your book, considering they know about your success. Your response to the publishing company is, "You shouldn't have rejected my first book in the first place, you jerks... Since I've found someone who's willing to publish my story, you can shove it! It's a blessing in disguise that I never had you as my publisher to begin with! No thanks to you toxic people, however thanks to my boyfriend Gohan, right with my good friend Bulma, who is the founder of Capsule Corporation and also my publisher, I never gave up! You can stay where you are now, while I can keep going up without you! Good bye!". Not too long after that (publishing company name up to reader's imagination) ended up going out of business before they could even decide to file for bankruptcy.

While Bulma is still publishing your first book, while publishing more of your books after that, Gohan has also been praising on how proud he is of you for never giving up on being an author and telling the now former publishing company off. Gohan (and Bulma both) enjoy seeing you succeed in your dreams. He was definitely right to tell you don't need to give up, which was the best advice you had ever followed and listening to Gohan were also the best decisions you had ever made.

🟠👩‍💻The📗End👩‍💻🟠

I hope you enjoyed this fanfic my Tumblr Peeps😁👍Honestly aside from Trunks and Piccolo, Gohan was also 1 of the characters I was thinking about writing about 1st, however I'm very glad I did write about every character from the Dragon Ball series that I have written about and I really had fun writing all of the fanfics pertaining them, especially Gohan😃👍Character wise I honestly admire Gohan and I'm really reliving that part of me, considering that I found him very cool😁👍It really makes me happy to write a fanfic about him and I honestly wouldn't mind writing another fanfic about him, honestly😃👍 I'm just always fond of him, even since when I was a kid🟠🧸😁👍

[signanothername]

Sooo... I'm back from the dead after dying from the overflow of too many positive emotions yesterday... (thanks for all the kind words 🩷)

And I'm back with another ask! Cool.

My question is not something necessarily related to the topic of the blog or anything, but rather about your artistic process?

So, personally I think many artists have those moments, or maybe specific paintings, that may just be emotionally draining. Like you're drawing a piece, and you don't like it for some reason, you try to change it, but you still don't like the painting, and you keep trying, but it's just something that's missing and you don't understand what it is and it just becomes frustrating and you start to get angry and-

Well, at least I seem to have such moments quite often (I dunno, maybe I'm just a perfectionist), and as far as I'm concerned different artists have their different ways to cope with this, so I wonder - do you have such moments sometimes and what do you usually do about it?

I'm sorry for the long ask I just can't keep things short and I'm just always curious about such things and the way different artists do stuff 😅

Hello!! Amazing to see you again! <33333 (of course!! Thank you for your kind words as well aaahh 😭❤️✨🌷)

As for your question, oooh boi, yes actually I have these moments A LOT, it’s cause i’m a perfectionist myself jdhdhdh

In fact, these kinda moments is why i sometimes give up on certain artworks or comics I make, and that’s why my wips just always seem to pile up, here are some examples of two artworks and a page of a comic I gave up on cause I just couldn’t for the life of me make them into what I wanted

And I will be lying to you if I said I have a solution for it or that I know how to deal with it

But I deal with it in two ways, I either completely delete the sketch i made and start over again

Or what I usually do is that I actually stop if i find the piece I’m working on emotionally draining, let go of the artwork and work on something else that i find fun, cause “giving up” doesn’t necessarily mean i will never get back to them, I see it as “taking a break” from the artwork till I get inspiration or motivation back to work on it again

Generally I’ve learned that in art, it’s ok to take things slow, I don’t always need to finish the artwork that I started before I start working on something else, in fact, taking things slow is how I made art much more enjoyable to me, cause it means I actually enjoy the process instead of treating it like there’s some sort of deadline above my head

To give you an example of what i mean, this artwork right here? Took me over 2 weeks to finish, not cause i couldn’t finish it quickly (in fact i can easily finish the same artwork in less than an hour) I just taught myself to take my time when making art, take things slow snd enjoy the process bit by bit, i worked on the quick sketch, closed it, then got back to it to work on cleaning it up multiple times, closed it again, then worked on coloring it and so on

And that’s also how i deal with artworks that make me frustrated, i take things slow, if i get frustrated then i simply close the artwork and work on something else till i have the motivation to work on what frustrated me again, that way i took a little break, and sometimes actually while working on something else you might get an idea on how to fix the artwork that frustrated you, but ultimately art is supposed to be fun not frustrating, so it’s ok not to finish artworks, it’s ok to abandon artworks if you don’t like them or if they emotionally drain you

That’s how i deal with it at least, but i say try to find your own path to how to deal with it, cause my way might not work for you, so i say experiment and find out :D

And nah don’t apologize i love long asks actually dychchch