#and by that i mean he has acc where he actually still posts things sometimes unlike other celebrities who were last active six years ago

[u5an5]

some of you don't know Ryan is on this hellsite and it shows

[zhonglicious]

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯. (𝐡𝐜𝐬)

☀ ft. ran haitani x reader

☀ warnings. mentions of fighting and making up. light angst i suppose? not sure if this warrants a warning, but mentions of chubby reader! honestly i think that's it, but lmk if i should add warnings for other topics!

☀ a/n. first post on this acc <33 honestly more ran centered than reader centered bc i love picking apart tr characters lol. probably not that coherent but eh <//3 wrote this bc i'm procrastinating on studying for my semi-finals lmfao <33 lowercase intentional btw!

❧ i just know ran would be the sweetest bf ever :((

❧ we're all in agreement his main love language is gift giving, yes? yes. i mean just look at him?? honestly i think he uses all of the love languages, but his main one is simply just gift giving

❧ we all know he's a rich man with no other way to spend his money than on his beloved. the gift giving is particularly heavy at the start of the relationship, as well as when he was still wooing you. like, i swear, you could not go a single week without finding a bouquet at your doorstep, or him offering you a pretty wrapped box

❧ even when you get further into the relationship, the gifts simply do. not. stop. it's less frequent now, yes, but it's still a little overwhelming sometimes. he doesn't hesitate to hand over his card or buy something you point out to him, all while he smiles and kisses the top of your head, telling you not to worry about how expensive it is

❧ another main love language for him is physical touch. he absolutely has to be holding some part of you at all times. of course, if you're not comfortable with his touch just yet, he's willing to wait for you to get used to him and trust him fully

❧ if you don't like pda, that's fine too! he doesn't mind keeping it lowkey in public, as long as he gets to shower you with affection once you get home <33

❧ he loves all body types, he just absolutely loves the feeling of you in his arms. although i just know that man prefers thicker people. but that's a topic for another post <33

❧ his favorite thing to do with you has to be those quiet, peaceful days where you two do nothing but lay in bed and just. do nothing

❧ not even watch a movie or anything, it's just. you and him with the curtains drawn. him holding you to his chest and playing with your hair, humming the song that's been stuck in his head, little things you've come to associate with him

❧ sometimes you think he just likes to feel your heartbeat, just to remind himself that you're here with him

❧ other activities he likes doing with you is playing games. especially when it's co-op games like minecraft or stardew. he absolutely must set his bed next to you btw, he just has to, sorry man i don't make the rules

❧ speaking of that, he's. very dramatic, yes.

❧ when it comes to small matters, he likes to whine at you, yes. you didn't say i love you to him today? "my baby doesn't love me anymore..." [fake sniffling] you ate the last of his food? [gasp] "how dare you-" [clutching his chest in offense]

❧ most of the time, he's not really serious, he just likes to see the way your face scrunches up at his antics. loves to laugh and flick your nose, before leaning down to kiss your forehead and apologize

❧ however, when you guys actually do fight, it's intense

❧ not in the way that there's screaming and yelling. although there is, sometimes, but most of the time it's surprisingly... quiet

❧ see, the thing about ran is that he internalizes a lot of things, and he's stubborn. all his life, especially with taking care of rindou, he's had to put on this facade of strength even when he's completely losing it

❧ so when you guys do fight, it's horrible because he doesn't want to back down from his stand. he takes a few days to cool off but once he does, he comes back and apologizes, however hard that is for him

❧ ran isn't used to love. he's always had to be tough and cold to make sure he and rindou survived. so it takes him a long time to deconstruct his walls and let himself be vulnerable to you, admit he was wrong. when that man says you're the better half of him, he means it, because you taught him how to open himself up to his loved ones, to stop being so on guard with everything in fear it might hurt him or his brother

❧ the same applies when he's feeling down. rather than talk about it, he'd rather isolate himself and push it all away, never to be seen again. it's a habit he's picked up from taking care of rindou, tbh. he doesn't want to worry you so he puts on a smile all the time

❧ but the moment you hug him and pat his head and tell him to let it all out, his breath hitches and the words finally come out, words he's had barring his throat all his life

❧ being in a relationship with ran can be rough, because he's still trying to figure out how to let himself be vulnerable around you. he's never had that luxury, to be able to put down his walls and not be hurt

❧ but i promise you that man is trying because he loves you, he loves how kind and caring you are, not just to him, but to the people around you

❧ so yes, to reiterate my first point, ran would be the sweetest bf ever, and i will forever stand by that <33

[061801]

#randomcomplaining I gotta have the most fucked up group of friends ever. I need to classify each group because if I go back and read these for myself I wanna know who I’m talking about.

Ok so we’ll do:

Exhibit A- will just be my closest guy friend cuz I hangout with him a lot

Exhibit B- my brother, his bf, and our best friend (I don’t think I ever really complain about them besides when I argue with my brother but i will probs write about good things too)

Exhibit C- old workers from my first job (2 girls)

Exhibit D- old coworkers from my recent job (4 girls)

I wanna explain each group and why I feel like idrk if I want these ppl in my life except for a small exception of exhibit B because they’re basically family. Only thing is they all use substances that really influence my decisions on whether I use or not which is not their fault but it’s toxic for me to be around that environment. Otherwise

exhibit A- started off as just a friendship, we both told each other about guys and girls we liked or wanted to be with. Then he developed a crush on me which was fine for me at first cuz it’s not rly my problem (respectfully) now he’s overly touchy like even being in public he’ll try and grab my leg and make it seem like we’re dating or something and I feel like he just wanted to assert dominance to other men in the room like “don’t touch her she’s mine” WHEN IM NOT LOL. At first I felt bad but I’m so fucking sick of people feeling so bad for him because he’s so nice and he loves me so much. He’s a great person, but not for me. And idk why people can’t just respect that and stop making me out to be a villain because I don’t have feelings for someone. This is kinda my fault I guess but I used to change in front of him and I didn’t rly care cuz I thought we had established that we’re just friends. Well now when I ask him to look away he really thinks he has the right to go “no I’ve seen it before idc.” Or most the time he does look away but gives me a hard time. There’s even been times where he looked back and was like OH MY BAD I thought u were done like no u didn’t lol u just wanted to be a fucking perv. So obviously I’ve established new boundaries, I go to my bathroom to change, I literally scream at him when he touches me, I always talk about guys. That’s the funny thing too he calls me such a whore and I’m fake just cuz I don’t wanna be with him.

Exhibit C: I actually really love these girls. I’ve never had any issues with them. Tbh the only reason I ever debate if I should let them go is because I feel like I’ve been a bad friend. We all started to be friends because we worked at the same job and we all liked to party and we were all lowkey a little weird. We moved on in life and they both have full time jobs, both in relationships, and I’m still partying like a maniac so I think they just don’t want to be around that which I totally understand. I started to feel sad because they never invite me to places they go but that’s cuz they don’t always wanna be all drunk and fucked up and tbh I never ask them to do shit either so in the middle of this post I acc asked if they all wanted to hangout and play video games

Exhibit D: ok this group of ppl confuses the fuck out of me. Everybody talks about each other like someone’s always mad at one particular person in the group I feel like, or worried about someone. I’ve had one person in this group steal from me. She’s jealous of all of us. One of the girls in the friend group only talks to me when nobody else is really there otherwise I get ignored I feel like. Sometimes I feel like they’re just trolling me too but that could be my insecurities. These people never ask me to hangout anymore and tbh I don’t rly care lol I hung out with them when I was in a really bad spot in my life and although they’re not the reason for it I just associate them with that time unfortunately. I don’t mean to but yeah

[serafilms]

enhypen with an idol s/o !

↳ pairing – enhypen x gn!idol!reader

↳ genre – fluff; crack; headcanons; gender neutral reader

↳ warnings – none

heeseung !

your biggest fan? yeah no that’s just him

will 100% buy multiple copies of your albums for no reason

“hyung why did you buy so many?”

“i nEED TO SUPPORT MY BABY”

actually lets out a squeal if he pulls your photocards

stars in his eyes when he watches you perform

and when he sees you speaking english

will copy your accent lmao

and pretty much when you do anything

will post dance covers of your comeback on tiktok

surprisingly fans have yet to find evidence that you're dating him

all they can confirm is that heeseung is a fan who has a fat crush on you

luckily that means he can have heart eyes for you whenever he sees you at award shows

he will always be the first to support you no matter what

jay !

mans has a cool guy façade to keep up

but you're really out here trying to bring it down

literally everything you do

sexy concept? he'll probably pass out

cute concept? would not be able to hold back his squeals

cool concept? would drool on the floor

you posted a dance cover of drunk-dazed on tiktok after it dropped and jay messaged you immediately after to praise you and fanboy over you

so so so soft for you and will give you all his uwus

would probably send reaction memes of both you and himself and you're just like "??????"

it's a thing now

you send memes of him from twitter and anywhere else and he sends memes of you

sometimes it's a while before either of you can reply but it's a good way to feel closer to one another

jake !

kinda memey vibes

aussie idols just........ yeah y'all get it

y'all were guest mc's together and there was this bit where you both had to speak english to one another

you messed up the line and you both just started giggling

everyone else was confused but y'all just couldn't stop

the producers had to separate you two after because you laughed every time you made eye contact

fans were a little sus after that but they just wrote it off as idol interactions

recite memes and vines together ("deez nUTS")

will always support you

his secret stan acc is mainly enhypen and your group

will always message you even when he's busy to make sure you're getting enough rest and eating properly

if he suspects something's wrong he'll contact your leader or manager to make sure they sort it out

is always ready to fight your company if they mistreat you

top tier idol bf material

sunghoon !

power couple vibes

think kai and jennie (rip jenkai) but make it 4th gen kpop

loves having a say in your comebacks

like he doesn't need an s/o that's super talented or perfect but we all know from i-land my dude laughs at people who aren't good

he'll give advice on how to do a dance move better or help you with lyrics or vocal techniques

also tells you what hair he thinks you should try and feels a swell of pride when you send him a photo of it after getting it done

begs your stylist to let him choose your outfits sometimes

they said yes just to shut him up but the fits ended up being surprisingly good

fashionista couple

you two are shipped together even without any interactions because of your similar personalities and great sense of style

you're both a little bit more quiet than other people but towards each other it's just constant teasing

he will clown you for every meme he finds of you on any form of sns

but don't let that fool you, he has your pc in his wallet

sunoo !

heart eyes #2

your biggest fan in the whole world

has predebut photos of you that your family sent him and sends them to you to squeal about how cute you were

will message you after every single thing you put out there

a new sns photo, a teaser photo, mv, performance?

sunoo's already on it

"y/n you look so pretty" "y/N YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU DYED YOUR HAIR"

would send you recordings and spoilers of enhypen’s new comebacks to try and bribe you into spoiling yours for him

you gave in very easily

it was fun at the time but now you're both struggling

it's hard enough to try and not spoil your own comebacks, let alone each other's

so now you're both just trying so hard not to let anything slip but it's too late to get out of the arrangement because you still want spoilers

jungwon !

so professional that nobody will ever suspect you two are dating

as far as netizens can tell you two are just acquaintances

like would bow at each other at awards shows but no further interaction

little do they know behind the scenes at award shows you and jungwon will meet up near the waiting rooms and eat snacks together

it's very important to him to make sure you're getting enough to eat so he always brings extra and hides them from his members

even if you two are on a variety show together you're so good at faking that you don't know each other

seriously you guys need to star in a drama

at this point you could literally be spotted outside the hybe building and they'd be like "no no she's probably just taking a walk in the area"

so subtle that if you announce you're dating the whole internet would blow wide open

niki !

puppy love

that's all i have to say

you're both so shy when it comes to pda

just like jungwon they'll never suspect you're dating

4th gen dance power duo

you did a performance stage together and the edits went on for months

the behind the scenes were so cute too

you two had to pretend you didn't know each other but couldn’t keep away from each other either

sharing glances across the room and playing around when the cameras were off

fans have noticed that you two were on your phones a lot but they never suspected that you were just texting each other across the room

but learning the dance together and practicing it was really fun even if you couldn't openly be a couple

after it was aired you two went out to get food together

it was dark so nobody saw you but you still got scolded at the dorms

but it was worth it

teen idols in love :')

[footyleclerc]

So sorry for you having asshole in your inbox. As a new follower I agree everything you said in the last month (idk any posts older and I’m factual so I can’t say everything lmao). Luv you out there during truth XOXO.

Anyway (idk if it’s sensitive. Hope it doesn’t trouble you. Dun reply if you dun want) but Charles’ tweet saying he’s not into politics (that sometimes ppl cite to claim he’s racist and ignorant) is abt Salvini tweeting sth that may promote racism using his image. He’s literally publicly speaking against a rightist politician. How abt taking this into acc too? (Pissed)

Tbh idk much abt Max side tho. If you dun mind can you say abt him?

Salvini’s tweet: https://twitter.com/matteosalvinimi/status/1279807459096436737?s=21

Charles’ tweet: https://twitter.com/charles_leclerc/status/1291399038697459712?s=21

Charles confirming his tweet’s meaning: https://twitter.com/charles_leclerc/status/1291403685751398400?s=21

Poor boi dk how to express himself.

hey sweet anon, thank you for all your kind words! any fan of Charles is a friend of mine :)

you've asked a very interesting question and since it's a sensitive issue I'm going to try to explain it in as non offensive a manner as I can soo bare with me! personally, I don't believe Charles and Max are racist. if you think I'm going to shit on them and say that they are racist, this ISN'T for you. DO NOT click on keep reading then.

okie, if you've made it here let's start!

CHARLES LECLERC

Matteo Salvini is an Italian politician, who was once the deputy Prime Minister of Italy. he stands for elections with a party called Lega Nord (Northern League), which is a right wing, federalist, conservative party. (tbh the party is pretty confusing cause their policies have kept swinging but they are right-wing under Salvini)

This is the tweet he posted: google translated - Never give up and never bend, always forward with your head held high!

Charles hadn't been taking the knee. Salvini used him as a forefront for his (anti-kneeling) agenda which Charles didn't like and on twitter he clarified:

but obviously people weren't happy with the response. almost all the replies to his tweet are branding him a racist because he didn't take the knee and his tweet was mistaken as him calling the BLM movement a 'political movement'.

luckily a fan could help him out:

still people remained unconvinced and have deemed him to be racist. in my opinion, kneeling is a show of solidarity with the cause but unless you actually want to learn, understand and make a difference, nothing will happen. you could kneel to please the world and still be a racist towards those in your personal lives.

with these professionals, you can rarely ever tell. unless it's individuals and organisations that are very open with their activism like Lewis, Seb, McLaren, Aston etc.

I don't think not kneeling makes Charles a racist. he has his reasons for doing so, and they are quite legitimate imo. he's a young guy who is constantly learning. he has said he likes to educate himself about matters before speaking out and honestly, I think that's very responsible!

MAX VERSTAPPEN

now, moving onto Max. this is where things get a bit messy and you can definitely disagree with me here.

so the reason why people accuse Max of being racist is due to an incident with Lance Stroll during FP2 of the 2020 Portuguese GP. they collided and in the heat of the moment Max said this (team radio):

"Is this f*cking guy blind? What the f*ck is wrong with him? Jesus Christ. What a r*tard. I have damage. What a mongol. I swear." (source)

this was definitely ableist and racist. no excuses, whatsoever. the article also shows how he said it, "wasn't his problem" which was also wrong but RB said they don't condone his words. it's a lil odd but very few on twitter spoke against him.

however, he apologized to Lance after the team had a talk with him. he admitted he made a mistake and while he didn't mean to offend, he certainly did. i am not excusing his actions, they were wrong and he should be held accountable, instead I'm appreciating his response.

you can scoff at that, but remember, not everyone has the awareness that certain language is wrong and offensive. not everyone has grown up in such an environment. cultural or language barriers, what you've been taught at home etc. also play a huge role in what you may think is right to say. don't want to get too into it but his father isn't so innocent in all this. what you hear and experience growing up impacts you massively and THIS is a great article on their relationship. well written and not too biased.

as an Asian and POC myself, I was upset when I heard his words and his apology also didn't make me happy. but seeing that he realised why it was wrong and not repeating it is something I am glad about (it's a small thing but if we want people to learn, you need to be patient).

we all make mistakes, it's how we respond to them that makes us who we are. Max hasn't repeated his errors, he's learned to be better and I think that's the most important thing. he has been so much more careful on his team radios and that's improvement.

I don't think those one or two moments define him as a person. he's much more than that. he's also a young person, learning about the world as he grows just like most of us, except he has the spotlight shining on him 24x7. instead of giving him a chance at redemption and learning, people are quick to attack him and I REALLY hate that. you can't expect people to improve if you're going to villianise them instead of help them learn why they are wrong.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I don't think Charles and Max are racist. one has his reasons for not doing a symbolic gesture and one made a mistake from which he has learned. I am NOT excusing their behaviour though and will NOT defend or justify their mistakes. just cause they're celebrities doesn't mean they can't do wrong. it's an expectation we have of all drivers to be like current day Seb and Lewis but that's not possible!

at the end of the day, they're still young and may make a few more mistakes along the way that people will criticize, and that's okay. they will learn, improve and come out as better humans.

it's easy to bring up incidents from the past to hate on any driver, and I'm not expecting anyone to deem Charles and Max completely innocent. you can still not like them for whatever reasons but calling them 'racists' isn't right in my opinion. there are many things you can not like them for, as drivers or humans, but terming them something that serious due to an error, isn't right. you're judging a person's entire character on one choice, one mistake, and both these guys are sooo much more than that. they've learned to be better than that.

this doesn't mean I'm disregarding the racism that is existent in this sport, towards Lewis and Yuki especially. it is a valid problem, one that isn't getting any smaller. from the casual racism from the commentators to f1 media to even the teams being provocative, it's a legitimate issue that needs sorting out. my only point is, those that say racism and racists exist in the sport cause of guys like Max and Charles aren't being the most logical.

if you've made it this far, I hope you agree with me! I don't mean to have offended anyone, and if I unknowingly have, I am very sorry. that was not my intention. if you don't agree with me, feel free to have a polite discourse!

thank you for the question anon! and I hope I made my point clear :)

huge thank yous to @formulino27 and @fcb-mv33 for getting me through the writing of this <3

[dutchdread]

No offense bro, but why are you always so protective of Cloud? No disrespect to you or anything but I've heard quite a bit of different opinions and theories on Cloud myself and I do agree with the people who say that he takes Tifa for granted. Going through trauma in the past is not really an excuse for his behavior. He also does act like he's the only one who has suffered in his life. Do you have other reason to defend him other than the fact that you "relate" to him? Just wondering.

Sorry for the late reply, my life has basically left no room for hobbies these past months. Your question is hard to reply to because I am not sure what you mean when you say I am protective of him. I guess you mean I defend his actions? Specifically in ACC? Firstly let me state that there is a difference between being a good character and being a nice character, there is also a difference between agreeing with someones actions, or just understanding them. Personally, I never really liked Cloud, especially not when I was younger. A lot of my defense of Cloud doesn't come from me personally liking him, but from me thinking he's a good character. I also think Snape is a good character, but I don't like his actions, and I don't defend them, although I still understand them to a certain degree. I should also say that as I started to understand Clouds character more, I also started liking HIM a bit more, although I still don't like the things he did, and would very likely not be friends with him. But I do understand why he did what he did and cannot be too critical of him because of that. You've probably heard that before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That's great advice, if you want to judge someone, you should imagine what it would be like to be them, however, I've noticed that too often when people try to walk a mile in someone elses shoes, they refuse to take their own shoes off first. They don't think "what would it be like to be him", they think "what would I do in that position". But Cloud is not you, and you cannot judge him by how you would act, you've not gone through the same things he has, your thought patterns aren't the same etc. This matters because too often I see people judging Clouds actions in ACC, and establishing his motivations by saying things that boil down to "If I were in his position, I would only do those actions if I loved Aerith/didn't love Tifa/whatever". But they're not Cloud, and they're not understanding how Cloud thinks, and that it's different from how THEY think. But like you said, I do see some recognizable elements of myself in Cloud, which is why I do understand his actions, and why I feel relatively certain in defending them, because I see them coming from a good place. It's common for me to react to things in a way that others find counter-intuitive. Let me give you an example, my brother once was mad at me because I had not told him my girlfriend of several years and I had broken up while I did tell a random stranger at the pub. He said that he felt like he wasn't important to me if I told a random stranger but not him. The truth was the exact opposite, I love my brother, and could not bear to face him for some reason, as I told him: "if not caring enough was the problem, then I wouldn't have told a random stranger". I see people exhibit that same lack of understanding when discussing Clouds actions, where they feel like his actions must be the sign of him just being a bad person, or not caring. But ask yourself what is more likely, that Square-enix wants their hero to be a bad person, or that you simply are misunderstanding the character? I understand why people don't get Cloud, Cloud suffers from obvious mental health issues, and mental health issues simply are not something that the general public understands, even today. Not only that, but Cloud went through the most insane series of traumatic events anyone could ever imagine. He had an alien parasite in him, saw his entire town murdered before his eyes, then saw Zack murdered in front of his eyes, then saw Aerith murdered in front of his eyes, and just when he started living a peaceful life he is forced to watch his child succumb to sickness in front of his eyes, and then he finds he himself is dying. All this on the psyche of a man who had had a fear of failure ever since he was a child, spent most of his life essentially in war, and had a severe identity crisis as well. Do you think you can honestly judge him by going "that's not what I would have done"? Would that not be incredibly

presumptuous? Have you suffered from depression as a result of severe post-war PTSD and a lifelong feeling of inadequacy combined with a fear of failure and the belief that many of your loved ones died because you failed and were inadequate? Because that's the context in which you have to view Cloud when watching Advent Children. Saying "Going through trauma in the past is not really an excuse for his behavior" is just incredibly short-sighted, your behavior is determined by who you are, and who you are is determined by what you go through in the past. You can't expect a broken child to become a well-adjusted adult when being a well-adjusted adult is the result of having a normal childhood.

I also don't want to cause offense, but this really is a mindset you should change, because this mindset is one of the most pervasive and damaging ones in our society, it's the one that probably bothers me most when I hear it because it makes zero sense. It's like breaking a robots self-repair unit, and then being angry at it on the grounds that the self-repair unit should have fixed it. It's also very insensitive in general, it's the equivalent of saying "why are you depressed, just stop being depressed", people don't choose to be depressed, people don't choose to have a fear of failure. People don't choose their emotions, they're just there. They can be influenced by behavior over time, sure, but behavior is equally influenced by who you are and your emotions, which, as mentioned before, is determined for a large part by your past. People don't just "snap out of it". They fight and fight and fight, and sometimes they win and break out of the spiral, and sometimes they lose and it breaks them.

FFVII, and especially Advent children, is all about that struggle, and during those struggles you will have high-points, and low-points. FFVII shows all of those. It shows Cloud trying, it shows Cloud wanting, it shows Cloud failing, but it also, ultimately, shows Cloud prevailing. Judging Cloud for not breaking out of the spiral by the time of Advent children, when he was mentally only barely 18 years old, and when he started at the worst place anyone could ever imagine, is just not reasonable. It's the modern day equivalent of "let them eat cake", something that can only be said from the place of privilege of not knowing what the struggles of the people you're critiquing are actually like. So having that out of the way, lets look at Clouds actions from the perspective of Cloud. Cloud is a young boy, and he's in love with the girl next door, he wants to get her to notice him. One day said girl walks up a mountain and he follows, she falls off a bridge and ends in a coma. Cloud followed her because he's in love with her, and he gets the blame from the adults. Cloud internalizes this, and its important to imagine what this must be like for a child, to have the adults all tell him it's his fault that the person he loves ended up hurt. "your fault", "your fault". Afterwards Cloud starts thinking Tifa hates him and starts acting out. I think this is a good moment to point out btw that this child has no father figure. This is the start of his feelings of failure and inadequacy, he blames himself for not being able to protect Tifa, failure number 1, he thinks that if he were strong, he'd be able to protect her, he thinks that if he were like Sephiroth, then even Tifa would have to notice him. Now until this time Cloud is not an asshole, he's a bit of a rebellious kid yes, but notice that he's not a bad kid as much as he's a kid who wants to protect someone, has no direction, and is acting out. So Cloud thinks he's not good enough, but he leaves town confident that he'll become good enough, and even makes a promise to Tifa. All this follows logically from what we know about Cloud, and tells us a lot about how deeply seated these feelings are. Becoming Soldier wasn't a small thing, not some small passion project that he just came up with one day, it's the result of the things that happened in his childhood and he left everything behind make it so. He told the girl he loved, he promised, he boasted. And then he failed. Failure number 2. He comes back to Nibleheim and can't bear to look Tifa in the eye and admit that he couldn't do it, that he's a failure. His entire life so far has revolved around this and he wasn't good enough. So here we have Cloud, not in a great mindset, thinking he's a failure, and what happens? His entire town is murdered by the person he admired, someone he worked with. His Mother is killed, and Tifa, the girl he PROMISED to protect, gets slashed open so badly that apparently she needed to have her ribcage reinforced with metal. I think we can all agree that this by itself would be enough to potentially scar a person for life. (Cloud, not Tifa XD) So what's next for the boy who left town in order to become a hero? Well, he gets captured and experimented on for 4 years, during which his mind and sense of identity is bombarded with memories and knowledge of the lifestream in the form of mako, muddying up his thoughts. Cloud already had a weak sense of self as a result of his childhood, it's why he failed to enter Soldier and now this distaste for who he is makes him extra susceptible to Jenovas influence. The next thing Cloud sees, (he didn't consciously experience the 4 years of mind-fuckery) is his best friend getting killed trying to protect him, because Cloud wasn't strong enough. Failure #3. At this point, in Clouds mind the list of people dead because he could not protect them, because he's a failure, include his mother, his entire town, his best friend, and as far as he knows, the girl he loves. This is his life. His mind is broken, he hates himself, he doesn't want to be himself,

he has a mind-altering parasite inside of him trying to adjust his identity and Clouds just goes "I reject this reality and constitute my own". And why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't he want to live in a fantasy world where he wasn't a failure, where he made it into soldier, where he was cool and successful and not a disappointing failure? Zack tells him to be his living legacy and Cloud goes with it, then he runs into Tifa, Jenova adjusts Cloud further based on Tifas memories of them and rejoined with the girl for whom he joined Soldier Cloud is unconsciously all too willing to play the part. FFVII starts and it doesn't take long for the cracks in his fake persona to show, he meets Aerith, and becomes her bodyguard. He gets to be the hero he always wanted to be. But then, even as "Cloud strife, soldier first class", Cloud is still a failure, the plate still drops, killing thousands, he gives Sephiroth the black materia, he beats up Aerith, and ultimately, fails to save her as well. Tifa was the First Failure, and Aerith was the Final Failure. Even as a soldier, Cloud still couldn't save anyone, he loses even more faith in himself, he doesn't know who he is, he doesn't trust himself, and then when he also loses Tifas trust in who he is, he just breaks and gives over to Jenova/Sephiroth. Even Hojo calls him a failure. Cloud feels like a nobody. Now mentally weakened, under the influence of jenova cells, he gives Sephiroth the black materia AGAIN, and meteor is summoned. Another entry on the long list of moments Cloud can look back on in shame later on in life. He falls into the lifestream and again his psyche is under attack. We know what happens afterwards, Tifa finds him, cares for him, and saves him through his feelings for her. Cloud realizes who he is, realizes he's weak, and goes after Sephiroth without lying to himself. In the end he defeats Sephiroth mentally and is supposedly rid of his direct influence.

But that doesn't mean that this mentally 17 year old is now fine, we should remember these events when analyzing ACC. Cloud has been in constant fighting/war/peril ever since he left home as a child, and is now a traumatized 17 year old in a 21 year olds body. Novels and other materials give us an insight into how Cloud thinks during these times, and how he thinks about himself. We hear him say that he's going to live because that's the only way he can atone for his sins. He talks about wanting to change, and about believing he can change because he now has Tifa. He's a man (boy) who just exited war, and wants to be positive, but is still clearly blaming himself. We see that this initially goes well, we are told that Cloud experiences peace and happiness that he's never experienced before. We're also told about the things that make it go badly, when he has to deliver flowers to the ancient city for instance. While Cloud regained the sense of who he was the belief that he wasn't good enough, that he was a failure, was never solved, if anything it was put on hold until he got his memories back, and now he is forced to deal with it.

While he is no longer directly manipulated by Sephiroth he's still suffering from PTSD and, most notably, survivors guilt. He blames himself for the deaths of Zack and Aerith in particular, and starts visiting the church. Now most people might think it's natural to avoid places that make you feel bad about yourself, but that's not how a depressed person thinks, Cloud thinks he deserves to feel badly he WANTS to punish himself, he WANTS to feel bad. He's ashamed of the moments where he's carefree and laughing with Tifa. Why should he get to be happy when Aerith and Zack are dead because of him? He shouldn't be happy, he should be in pain, he should remember them, not doing so would be an insult to their memories, he must never forget how he failed them! That's how Cloud is thinking. We know of course that this is non-sense, Aerith and Zack wouldn't want this, if anything it's this mindset that is tarnishing the memories of Aerith and Zack, but that's not how a mentally unwell person thinks. Cloud wants to atone, and thinks he finds salvation in Denzel, whom he finds at Aeriths church. He thinks that by saving this life, he can, in some way, make up for all the death he caused. Tifa has a similar belief when she finds out Denzels parents died in the plate crash. And when Denzel joins the family, and Cloud has path towards redemption in his mind, things start getting better again. Because this is the cause of the problems Cloud is having in ACC. When Nojima says:

first off, there’s the premise that things won’t go well between Tifa and Cloud, and that even without Geostigma or Sephiroth this might be the same

This is the conflict he's talking about, he's not saying "Tifa and Cloud are incompatible, it has nothing to do with Sephiroth", he's saying "if Sephiroth didn't show up during Advent children, Cloud and Tifa would still be having problems because Cloud is going through survivors guilt."

But the good times don't last, Denzel has Geostigma and Cloud cannot find a cure, Denzel....is going to die. Cloud, has failed again. Not only that, but Cloud catches Geostigma....Cloud is going to die. And THIS is why Cloud leaves in Advent children. And you have to look at this as Cloud. Cloud said he was going to live to atone for his sins, but instead he's going to die. He won't atone for his sins, even worse, he's going to leave Tifa and Marlene behind. He failed again. He couldn't protect Denzel, he potentially brought an infectious disease into their house as well. Literally all Cloud can think about is that literally everything he's ever tried has ended in failure, everyone he's ever tried to protect, he's failed at. Do you understand how easy it would be for a person like this to fall into the trap of thinking "I deserve to die", "I don't want Tifa and Marlene to see me die", "Tifa and Marlene are better off without me anyway", "they'd be happier if I weren't here". Etc. Now we know this is nonsense, but come on, how many instances have you heard of depressed people genuinely believing that their loved ones would be happier and better off if they just didn't exist? However, throughout the movie, Zack, Tifa, and Aerith, all confront Cloud, and urge him to not give up. Cloud eventually does try again, and ultimately finds redemption not by being stuck in the past, but by letting the past rest and be beautiful (a lesson Cleriths unfortunately never learned). "I never blamed you you know, not once" "I want to be forgiven. By who?" "Isn't it about time you did the forgiving?" In the end, Cloud moves on, and therefore, so do Zack and Aerith. Aerith and Zack walk into the light, Cloud plants flowers on Zacks grave, and lets Zacks buster sword rest in Aeriths church, now no longer rusting, but shining. Instead of the past being a negative reminder, Cloud lets the past be beautiful. Cloud was doing Aerith and Zack a disservice by remembering them the way he did, because it was ruining his life, it wasn't a good thing, but it did come from a good place, from a good man whose ashamed of not being good enough. Yes, it harmed Tifa, people going through these things often do hurt those around them, but it's not because they're bad people, or even weak, but because people are imperfect and Cloud has gone through hell, both internally, and externally. Are his actions really that weird or deplorable? "He didn't even go save the kids!" Yes, he's hesitant about saving the kids, why shouldn't he be? Everyone Cloud tried to protect or save, ended up maimed or worse, or as Cloud puts it: "I can't even save myself". "He left Tifa alone!" Yes, he thinks he's going to waste away and die, can you blame him for not wanting to put Tifa through that and for thinking she'd be better off without him? "He drinks!" Wouldn't you?! Who wouldn't want to forget that stuff? But in the end, He's only gone for about a week, he never intended to harm Tifa, he never physically harmed Tifa or cheated on her, his entire life revolved around wanting to be better for Tifa and blaming himself when he wasn't good enough, how is it reasonable to say this man takes Tifa for granted when the fact that he thinks he has to BE BETTER in order to be worthy of being with her has been a constant throughout his entire life and story? He DOESN'T take Tifa for granted, that's why he's beating himself up, that's why he leaves, not because he thinks he's better than her, or that he'll always have her, or that she'll follow him like a dog, or something like that. But because of the opposite, because he thinks HE is not good enough, that SHE would be better of without him. Saying Cloud takes Tifa for granted, is honestly, simply, wrong. It's 180 degrees the opposite of what is happening in FFVII, the biggest constant in Clouds life, is that he doesn't take Tifa for granted, and I don't understand how anyone could argue otherwise.

[aj-artjunkyard]

Batfam musical headcanons

Dick:

instrument wise? Nothing, the man couldn’t tap out a tune on the piano if his life depended on it but boy that doesn’t stop him from trying

Sometimes the more musically inclined of the family will try to teach him a simple tune or beat to play in the background of a musical video they’re recording, but he’ll always forget the notes in 5 seconds and just improv when he feels it, it always sounds terrible but he’s having a blast 

Can sing though. Oh man can he sing

Doesn’t mean he sings anything other than Disney Princess songs tho 

If you were to ask me for a voice reference, I’d say Thomas Sanders

He has quite a wide vocal range but he’s better on higher notes

He sings quietly or under his breath most of the time, but then he’ll get to a line he’s confident on and he’ll belt it out at full volume

Sometimes a random line will ring out across the manor and it will 100% be Dick’s voice singing I Can Go The Distance from Hercules 

Doesn’t remember half the lyrics 

This still doesn’t stop him 

Remember that scene at the start of Spiderverse where Miles is singing ‘Sunflower’, but only knows half the words, muttering the rest and getting REALLY into the parts he knows? Yeh that’s Dick

plays a KILLER kazoo solo

no he doesn't but it does annoy everyone in a 10 mile radius so there’s an major upside here

Jason:

This man has a breathtaking bass singing voice 

He claims he has never and will never sing in front of anyone, but sometimes when he’s in a rare good mood, he’ll mess around with his siblings in the music room and end up singing sea shanties with Tim and Dick (and sometimes Duke if he’s not too shy)

This is Jason, Dick and Tim. Damian is recording

Sings exclusively Hamilton, but his real talent in singing isn’t in the rapping area he just loves that musical 

Secret Theatre Nerd™

Famed for roping Tim and Duke into musicals; exclusively Dear Evan Hanson, Hamilton, Heathers and Les Misérables

One day Dick and Jason tease Duke out his shell enough to preform this with them

Would sing to himself in his safe houses and while ripping down the road on his motorcycle at top speeds

Not much of an instrument guy, but could tap out a piano tune or a drum beat if someone needed it

Keyword here being *could* bc he CAN but he WON’T

Even if someone managed to loop him into doing a backing beat for a tiktok or smthn he most definitely wouldn’t remember how to do it 30 minutes later

He claims his mind is too crammed with actually important information to remember a dumb piano tune for more than 10 minutes 

Tim:

Can carry a tune, but prefers the instrumental side of music 

He’s a tenor and sings higher than Dick, but Dick has a wider vocal range and if he wanted to, Dick could hit high notes Tim couldn’t dream of. Tim just doesn’t have the same range

But he’s fantastic at instruments 

He plays a wide range due to his private lessons back at Drake Manor, including but not limited to: Piano, saxophone, drums, cello, clarinet, acoustic guitar, trombone and the triangle 

Can Timothy Drake play incredibly difficult classical pieces on almost any instrument with ease and move the listeners to tears? Yes. Will he? No. Because the only tunes you will ever catch Timothy Drake playing is exclusively meme music

If it’s a sound on TikTok, this child can play it double time guaranteed

I’m talking the Mii theme, the Subway Surfers theme, Axel F, Wet Hands, you name it

K I lied he sometimes plays fantastic renditions of pop songs or movie scores 

He also likes joining in on those “adding an *instrument* solo to a song that does not need an *instrument* solo” TikToks

This child makes quality TikToks

His acc has a great following bc has such a vast variety of content and its all peak. It ranges from music to music memes to family shenanigans to academic memes to whatever was in his mind that day

He has a sparse posting schedule but when he does post its always worth the wait

ANYWAYS back on track

Tim will 100% play saxophone on top volume outside Damian’s bedroom when the kid is annoying him

Sometimes Jason joins in but he plays his chosen instrument horrifically just to annoy Damian more 

Jason and Tim do this

ok its time for my favourite boy

Damian:

Damian isn’t a singer. He refuses to ever sing in front of anyone, and he’s got the whole ‘boys’ tween voice’ thing going on too, and though he’ll probably have the capacity to be a great singer when he’s older, he won’t ever sing enough for many to find out

Instruments on the other hand,,,,

Damian does his little “*tt* I don’t care for the music, I play because it quickens reaction time and helps improve my memory and hand-eye coordination” and everyone’s just “sure Dami, thats why you were playing Merry-Go-Round of Life on repeat at 4am”

He likes orchestral and classical music, he’ll often play the song over the speakers in the music room and play along on his chosen instrument

He considers that genre more impressive for a musician instead of the pop rubbish Tim plays

He was taught violin by his mother back in Nanda Parbat, and it’s still his go-to favourite instrument, but he’s been teaching himself every other instrument in the music room

He uses music as a release, because he’s finally starting to get that violence isn’t always the acceptable release like it was back in the League and Dick and Bruce are so happy to see him start to understand this and get hobbies that aren’t related to work

When he gets older his taste in music expands to more electric guitar and drum heavy songs, but right now he’s still a bratty rich child and not an angsty teen

Jason is the one who introduced teen Damian to TØP, MCR, P!ATD and BMTH and now they jam together at excruciating volumes, screaming lyrics and wildly strumming on bass and electric guitar and banging on the drums and everyone would gladly slap Jason if not for the soundproof walls in the music room

Bruce:

Bruce used to be classically trained in a few instruments but he just didn’t care enough to continue them into his teen years so he just kinda forgot them

He regrets it now, seeing all his talented kids bonding over music and thinking that it probably would be been better for him to have a hobby when he was younger 

On one rare night he has the manor to himself, so he sits down at one of his grand pianos and tries to remember one of the tunes he was taught. Alfred hears his woeful attempts and starts to teach him some easy tunes

They do this every time they have the manor to themselves 

Bruce finally masters a song and he’s really pleased with himself Alfred is just so proud of his son,,,,

[leoneslover]

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧)!༄

Tanaka Ryuunosuke x reader • Nishinoya Yuu x reader • Lev Haiba x reader • Kuroo Tetsuro x reader

Warnings: NSFW!smut, lenguaje, masturbation, some really kinky stuff on Kuroo’s one lmao sorry not sorry.

A/n: more thrists from the other acc huh. Anyways, finally an actual post lol, hope u enjoy and sorry for the wait! 🥺

Part one here

• Surprisingly enough, Tanaka actually doesn’t jerk off *that* often, the reason being that he’s too lazy to clean up afterwards.

• However, he’s a victim of wet dreams. And I’m talking about constant wet dreams.

• He has them almost every night, and he had woken up with a sticky mess in his boxers more times than he’d like to admit.

• The worst part is that the dreams are all almost the same.

• They all start the same, his crush riding him reverse cowgirl style, him watching the way their ass bounces on his lap. And then he bends them over, pushing them down on the mattress and fucking them doggy style until he can’t feel his legs anymore.

• Sometimes they variate a little bit. Maybe flipping them over so he can see their broken expression as he fucks them relentlessly. Or them turning around and pushing him down on the bed to fuck themselves in his cock until their legs give up.

• But it’s all mainly the same, and yes, he uses this dreams as jerk off material when he’s willing to actually do it.

• (Needless to say that he is now extremely uncomfortable around his crush and cannot look them in their eyes for anything in the world. He tried it once and he got a hard on almost immediately).

• Now Noya on the other hand... he does it almost every day, everywhere.

• And when I mean everywhere, I mean e v e r y w h e r e.

• He has definetly jerked off in every single room of his house. Also the school bathroom, the boys locker room, an empty classroom, you name it.

• His excuse when he got caught by Tanaka on the boys room was that it felt the best after practice. And he actually convinced him to join in. (Yes they both jerked off in boys locker room next to each other once, and no, of course it wasn’t weird they’re best bros after all).

• Anyways, there are two main reasons on to why he jerks off that much. 1) He suffers from intrusive thoughts *ahem* HORNY instrusive thoughts *ahem* and 2) He always gives in to what he wants.

• And also there’s lowkey a third reason that it’s basically that he doesn’t really need much to cum and also surprisingly he’s expert at keeping quiet. So why not do it then?

• The only thing he needs to cum is just close his eyes and imagine his crush giving him either a handjob or a blowjob.

•Thats it, he’s a simple man after all.

• Baby Lev feels so guilty for jerking off JXBEKBXKDBX

• But not for the act of actually masturbating, he feels guilty for what he thinks about while doing it.

• Now for this one we have to go for a little throwback to earlier this year. He was sitting outside having lunch with a few teammates, enjoying life y’know, until his crush passed by.

• He’s so obvious, he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s staring at them all the time 😭😭

• Anyways, he’s clearly following them with his eyes, y’know watching them go. Until they suddendly bend over to pick up something they dropped. And yes, he could see their ass perfectly marked by the school uniform when they did so.

• He hasn’t been able to get off with anything else since then.

• His favorite scenario that he made up in his head is literally him eating them out in the school uniform. The first time he thought of that he came so fucking hard he couldn’t hold his moans back, and he’s still worried that his sister might have heard him even tho she hasn’t really said anything.

• Now he can’t look at his crush too much without blushing and getting a little bit turned on lol.

• He strictly jerks off in shower, period.

• He’s a little lazy, and hates having to clean up afterwards, so he does it in places where he knows he won’t make that much of mess.

• Now with that being said, he does it only when he really feels like it. And yes, he makes a whole fucking event for it. (He’s so extra istg)

• He’s a little kinky alright, so take for a fact that if he has time, he’ll definitely edge himself as much as he can and then he’ll overstimulate himself until he feels like crying (he loves it).

• He imagines his crush doing all of that to him btw. He pictures them degrading him in the process, just being really dominant over him while he grunts and moans into his hand (even if he’s on the shower he’s still afraid his parents might hear him, and he sucks at holding back so he just covers his mouth and hopes for the best).

• However there’s times where that little fantasy doesn’t really do it for him. And that’s where he pulls out his plan b (aka fantasy n2).

• In this one he basically fucks his crush so fucking hard in every single position he knows, and yes, he cums in them each time, so by the time he’s done there’s just a whole bunch of his seed sliding off their little hole.

• He doesn’t feel guilty for all of this btw. He’ll actually probably still talk to his crush like nothing happened every day while mentally singing the periodic table song to keep his mind from wandering over something he might regret lmao.

[ruby-whistler]

Are you normal or do u sometimes go "IVE BEEN SCARED OF SLEEPING WITH THE LIGHTS ON(off? Idk its hard to decipher)"/lyrics -curious anon

me: oh boy, can't wait to try and make a tumblr blog! Before i do i should research it- *what in the hecking heck is an xkit*

djskdjsk i had no idea what an xkit was until yesterday and when i got it i got too confused and uninstalled it - dw curious anon i don’t use it either i just vibe and do whatever i guess. if you tag correctly and make good posts things should work out, can’t wait to see your acc around!

I got some sad-ist merch :DDD!!

yooo!! that’s so pog for you! it’s probably pretty comfy :D

me standing ominously in your askbox waiting to rec my fav fics:

fjsjdjsk i literally just finished passerine i still have 80 more (some of which are like 300k words long) on my to-read but uh if they have c!dream mischaracterized i’ll not be reading them anyways so it’s very hit-or-miss, will probably get through some of them quicker-

After many moons spent under the dsmp, seeing discourse and analysis alike, i have come to the conclusion i simply do not have the energy to care about any lore outside of c!tubbo and c!tommy's and will only defend them. And that is ok. It is ok to not watch or care about all dsmp or want to discourse about them or analyze. Idk man was thinking deep thoughts today

it’s ok to watch entertainment and enjoy it the way you want to! it’s great to want to enjoy or talk about your fav character!

the problems come up when you attack other people for their perspectives on the medium or spread misinformation about different characters based on only watching the perspective you like, but you know - if you’re not doing analysis, you really don’t need to look that deep into it.

it’s ok to just chill. your feelings about characters are valid! :D so yeah i agree with you! let people with different opinions exist if they’re also being respectful (e. g. tagging correctly).

Hey ik u worked with animgician's newest vid and i found a not-crit (i rlly think) little thought on it if u wanna see it

yoo feel free to send it in!!

No one: me: *shuffles around* wanna hear about my cool warden c!tommy au?

may i interest u in a little bit of my writing? If not that is ok i just wanna see if my writing is any good before working on a fic lol

Anyways if i am not in the askbox for a little it is because i am now writing a proper fic thing out. Wish me luck o7 -curious anon (i have three different lyrics i am going to be incorporating and a little analysis and just a smidgen of projection)

Ruby do u wanna read a little something i wrote? *does the little fingers thing* its really short just a headcanon with a little prose

i sure do! that sounds rlly cool - are you sure you don't wanna make a post about that on your own account though? i don't mind seeing it at all but i think the c!tommy tag would be able to appreciate that au better than my followers. you've gotta find the right target audience, y'know? /lh

though of course i'd love to see your writing, i'm sure it's great! looking forward to it :]

Ayo i remembered u talking about how punitive punishment doesn't work the other day so i want to discuss. What would u consider to be a fitting "punishment" for c!dream's canonic killing of mexican dream?/gen

i mean... we're not trying to - being against punitive justice is about the fact punishment is wrong, not just certain types of it. asking me what a "fitting punishment" would be is sort of very not getting the point.

hurting people further is not going to teach them anything and it’s not going to help anyone, why is it necessary?

so the answer is: none. he shouldn’t be punished, actually! he should learn on his own that what he did wasn’t right, and that’s about it. that’s the thing about transformative justice. him becoming a better person who Wouldn’t Do That again because it goes against who he is.

however, there’s also restorative justice, which is working to “make it up” to the victims. to which i propose; dream has the revival book and could literally bring him back once he is out of the prison. give him some powder maybe. md would probably be chill w/ that.

Yknow. In all my time in dsmpblr i can confidently say that the main differnece between c!dream apologist/enthusiants and c!wilbur/sam ones is that the c!wilbur/c!sam ones want their fav to have a breakdown and c!dream ones want theirs to get positive reinforcement /hj /lh

i’m pretty sure the sam and wil ones also want them to get better/get redeemed, at least deep down, but i get what you mean! you’re *glances at the 🟩⛏ gc where all we do 24/7 is write angst about c!dream being terribly hurt and then we cry about it* 100% correct. no angsters who like the pain here *nervously laughs* we all just want him to heal and be happy for the rest of his life with no heart-shattering breakdowns whatsoever! /s /lh

Hope ur having a great day m8 :]] -curious anon (also i have a new canon fact i wanna share. In quackity's alt lore stream yesterday he said (to the best of my memory) that "no law/juridsiction exists on the dream smp to prevent one from building anywhere" so i guess that clears up the big debate on wheather or not c!dream had a right to enforce rules (or basically the arguement that he owned the server by divine rule)

no i’m - i’m pretty sure that’s just how it works. dream still owns the smp, but he himself has said wayy back at the beginning “everyone can build and go wherever they want” and that was that. it was one of his rules on the smp, it was his main problem with l’manberg. being able to build anywhere were the rules that he “had the right” to enforce. and he did, not because he was a god, but because it was his smp, his home that he claimed for his friends. wouldn’t call it a big debate, it’s really that simple.

.AGONY. HURT EVEN. THIS IS HOW IT IS FOR CURIOUS ANON. I LAUGH, I CRY, I FIND AN ANIMATED GIF ON TWITTER THAT SQUEEZES MY C!TOMMY ENJOYER HEART INTO OBLIVION. (i am being dramatic btw for the funnies just so ya know) I AM NOT GOING TO FINANICALLY RECOVER FROM THIS. AAAAAAAAAAA UEEEEEEE

OK THAT FREAKING

O U C H-

also for the old phil ask. Hes a bad dad because of how he treated ghostbur. I will elaborate if u want

didn’t ghostbur just say “i’m not wilbur” and philza said “you’re not my son” and they went on with their day? weren’t they actually in agreement that he wasn’t the same as wil when he was alive? i don’t remember him really treating him badly tbh other than disowning him which seems fair to me, because ghostbur was a literal stranger to phil at that point?

wish you a nice day, curious anon! (i’ll be back on my essays and answering other asks now, so i might not reply right away :])

[doyouever-daydream]

Friends with Kids.

A/N  I re-watched Friends with Kids for the firs time in years and I came up with this, if you, like me, love rom-coms I highly recommend it, therefore if you don't want spoilers for the movie, go watch it and then come back here to read this! For the sake of the story there might be some OOC moments, don't kill me. Also there are many time-jumps so I hope it’s not too confusing. English is not my first language so bear with me, I try my best, I'm still working on it. I enjoyed writing this so much! I started last month and it was a blast so hopefully you enjoyed it as well, if you did, let me know! Thank you for reading this super long oneshot. P.S. This is the first work of the Movie AU series that I've been planning (if you pay close attention, without intending to I wrote a couple clues about others stories I'm working on (Movie AU's as well) 👀

P.S. 2 You should go and check this post and this post and help if you can ❤

ALSO this is another entry for my @cmbingo​ card, the square is Friends to Lovers.

Summary: After seeing all of their friends having kids, Penelope and Luke decide that since none of them seem to have found their person, they agree to have a child of their own. Having a kid with your best friend can't be that bad, right? (Movie AU: Friends with Kids)

Pairing: Penelope Garcia x Luke Alvez (with a little bit of Jemily 🤭)

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sex, bad jokes, SLOWBURN, some angst I guess, some grammar mistakes.

Word count: 15410 (y’all told me to post it as a one instalment lmao 🤯🤯🤯)

Masterlist (You can also find this and other fanfics in my AO3 acc )

Luke didn’t need to look up to know that Penelope was finally down in the lobby, the sound of her high heels gave it away, he pocketed his phone and got up, ready to go and meet their friends.

“Hello chica” He kissed her cheek and she returned the gesture.

“Hi newbie, I’m sorry it’s so late, I got caught up at work, let’s go”

“After you” Once they were outside their apartment building, they called a cab, eager to get to the restaurant and catch up with their friends.

“How was work?” Penelope asked him as she put on lipstick.

Luke shrugged “Same as usual, nothing exciting happens, what about you?”

“Terrible day, I can’t wait to drink a couple glasses of wine” Luke snorted and raised an eyebrow “Or five”

“It’s Friday so I’m also thinking about getting a little tipsy” She placed her lipstick in her purse and rested her hands in her lap with a smile on her face.

“It’s been so long since the eight of us have gone out to dinner, I miss everyone”

“I know, I don’t think I’ll recognize their faces anymore” Penelope rolled her eyes instead of going along with it.

They remained in a comfortable silence the rest of the time, saving everything else they had to say until they were with the rest. Penelope and Luke saw each other much more often than the others, mostly because they lived in the same building, just an elevator ride apart, Penelope’s place was on the third floor while Luke’s was on the seventh. Another reason as to why they didn’t see each other that much was because half of the gang, Matt, Kristy, Derek and Savannah were now parents and they didn’t have as much free time time as before.

Once in the restaurant, Penelope walked as quickly as she could, Luke following close behind careful to act if she tripped or something. Penelope’s smile fell just a little when she only saw Emily and JJ sitting at the table.

“Hey, you guys are here” Emily and JJ quickly rushed to them, and after a round of greetings and hugs, the four sat down.

“Where's the rest of the gang?” Luke asked, looking around to see if they were by the bar or coming from the bathroom.

“Yeah, we can’t be the awesome eight when there are only four of us here” Penelope stated as she nicely signaled the waiter to come over.

Emily bit her lip and looked at JJ “They called to inform us they can’t make it tonight” The blonde woman informed them.

“Kristy’s not feeling well and Matt has to be there to take care of the kids and Derek and Savannah couldn’t find a sitter” Emily added carefully watching Penelope, they all knew she had been looking forward to this dinner for a few weeks now.

“Oh” Penelope forced a smile “It’s ok, I get it, things happen” Under the table, Luke took her hand and squeezed it, she looked at him and smiled a little less forced this time.

“We’ll be the fabulous four tonight” JJ raised her glass and Penelope remembered she hadn’t seen them in a few months so it was still exciting getting the chance to see them.

“I’ll drink to that” They all proceeded to order their drinks and dinner, ready to make the most of the evening.

They spent the next hour and a half talking about how life was, JJ and Emily told them about the trip they made to Italy to celebrate their three years of marriage, Penelope told them a funny story about a blind date gone wrong, Luke shared he was getting promoted at work, overall life was good for all of them and it made the evening much more pleasant even though four of their best friends weren’t there.

“There’s this guy at work who I think would be great for you” JJ commented while eating her dessert.

“I don’t know if I should trust you to set me up anymore, last time was horrible” Penelope replied remembering the last date she had with one of JJ’s prospects for her.

“No, this time it’ll be better, I promise” 

“I think you’d like this guy, Pen” Emily said while sipping on her glass of wine.

Luke nudged her with his elbow “Come on, chica, let JJ set you up, it can’t be worse than the time the guy bursted into tears when you told him you were a Libra”

They all laughed, followed by a loud sigh from Penelope “God, I missed this so much, being with you, laughing at my terrible luck when it comes to dating”

“I missed it too” Emily interjected “Being together not laughing about your love life”

“I gotta say it” Luke started “I love our friends’ kids so much but I miss the times when it was just the eight of us, you know?”

Before JJ or Emily said anything Penelope spoke “I know, I mean I’m also super grateful those little sweethearts joined the fam but on nights like these I get all nostalgic reminiscing the pre-babies era”

JJ and Emily shared a look and both Penelope and Luke knew something was up “What’s that?” Luke wondered.

Emily took JJ’s hand “Well, one of the news we wanted to share tonight was that JJ and I are adopting” Penelope and Luke were wide eyed “We actually started the process a few months ago but didn’t know when we were going to be matched and we didn’t expect it to happen soon but we’ve been matched, it’s sweet one year old girl” JJ finished telling their news to their friends.

“Her name is Emerson and she’s coming home with us in a couple weeks” Emily waited anxiously to see their reactions.

Penelope was the first one to speak “Oh my God, you guys, congratulations, a new addition to the fam” She was genuinely excited with her news and so was Luke.

“It’s great to hear this, you’ll be amazing moms” He turned to Penelope “We’re getting a new niece”

“I know, I know, look about what we said earlier-” JJ cut her off.

“Oh, it’s ok, we know kids aren’t really your thing so it’s alright” Luke was the only one who noticed how Penelope’s face changed for one second, she quickly smiled again, hoping no one noticed the flash of disappointment in her face at JJ’s words.

After saying their goodbyes and promising to reunite once Emerson was settled with JJ and Em, Luke and Penelope took another cab to go back to their apartments. She was silent and Luke didn’t know if it was a good idea to ask what was on her mind, he debated whether or not to start a conversation.

Before thinking it twice he started “So was it true?” Luke questioned and Penelope tilted her head.

“What do you mean?” Luke licked his lips.

“What JJ said about kids not being your thing” Penelope sighed and bit her lip, of course Luke had noticed her expression when she heard their friend saying this.

“She was referring to both of us, Luke” She tried to avoid answering his question.

“I know but in my case she’s wrong I would like kids” She looked at him with raised eyebrows and a smirk in her face.

“I didn’t know that, newbie” Luke shrugged “I honestly assumed you were the no kids kind of guy” 

“Are you kidding me? My mom would never forgive me if I never gave her grandchildren” Penelope laughed imagining Elena, Luke’s mom, lecturing him to give her grandchildren.

“So you’re doing it for your mom then?” 

“No, I really wanna be a dad, someday, a tiny human that’s half me, that would be great” She patted his shoulder.

“You’re right, that would be great” He looked at her expectantly “What?”

“What about you, Penelope? Would you like to have kids?” She pressed her lips together.

“Yes, I would love that” She admitted after a few seconds of being silent “The thing is I have no one, sometimes I think I should’ve said yes to Kevin when he proposed, I’d have children by now”

“You’re gonna find someone” She rolled her eyes “You will, you are gorgeous and an amazing woman” 

“Have you ever wondered if you’ve already met your person? You know, the one you’re gonna end up with?” Penelope questioned.

“No, I haven’t met my person, I know that much, but I will and so will you, Pen, you’ll see” He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder, starting to feel sleepy, they remained like that until they got home, said goodnight and went to sleep to their apartments.

Almost four months later, Luke and Penelope were hosting a baby shower for Matt and Kristy, it turned out that time they had cancelled dinner with them was because Kristy was having a hard time during the pregnancy.

Everyone was there, including friends they hadn’t seen in a while, all of them with their significant others: Spencer, Tara, Alex, Kate, David, Aaron and Elle.

At one point of the party, Penelope escaped from the conversations about marriage and kids, and she stood in a corner trying to go unnoticed, during the entire gathering Luke had kept an eye on her, since they were planning the party, he noticed the subject was still a sensitive for her.

“We did good” He said as he leaned against the wall.

Penelope looked around his place, everyone seemed to be having a good time “Yeah, I think it turned out pretty well” He offered his glass of wine, it was almost full “Thank you” 

“I’ve always known we were a dynamic duo” This earned him an eye roll from Penelope, he expected her to say something else but she remained quiet and so did he.

She took in the scene of her friends with their children, the look on their eyes were like nothing she had ever seen before, she knew these people from a very long time and there was always a huge difference between the before and after having kids.

“I want this” Penelope said out of the blue.

“Ok” Luke said unsure as to what she was referring, he thought about it for a second “I can plan a birthday party for you next year, Pen”

“Not a party, I want to have a baby” He didn’t know what to say to that but just in that moment JJ walked over to them with Emerson in her arms.

“This little one is looking for her fairy godmother” Emerson reached her arms to Penelope and she happily took the one year old in her arms.

“Did you, little Em?” She kissed her goddaughter’s head “I was missing you too” The baby babbled, content to be with her auntie.

“I’ll go grab some cake” JJ turned around and walked towards the kitchen and Kristy came to join the three of them.

“Thank you guys so much for this” She offered a warm smile “I promise you we’re done after this one” She announced while she rubbed her round belly.

“Oh don’t mind us, you have as many babies as you guys like” Luke joked and when they laughed, little Emerson joined them with a giggle.

“No, we’re definitely done, it’s your turn to find someone and start giving us nieces and nephews, right, Emerson?”

“I think this one will get a little sister or brother before we know it, Em and JJ are over the moon being moms” Penelope stated.

“I know” Kristy agreed “It’s been really touching seeing them in this new phase” 

“I hope someday you guys get to see me being a mom” The nostalgia was obvious in her voice.

“It’s gonna happen” Kristy assured her “And I can’t wait, Penelope” She smiled to her and then proceeded to go with her husband.

Seeing Penelope with Emerson and the rest of their friends’ children left him thinking, after the baby shower was over Penelope stayed to help him clean even when he told her to call it a night and go to  get some rest, but she refused, they spent the next couple hours tidying up the place, once they were done Luke offered to order takeout but she didn’t accept and went to her apartment.

Luke tried to get some sleep but he kept turning and tossing in his bed, his thoughts not letting him rest, he tried everything but ultimately failed, he looked at his alarm clock, it was almost 2:00 AM. Unable to get his idea out of his mind, he got up and walked towards the elevator, he needed to tell Penelope what was happening on his mind.

Once he got down to her floor, he stood outside her door for a few minutes thinking maybe it was too out of line to make her the proposition he was thinking about. He pressed his lips together and rubbed his palms in his pajama pants, trying to muster enough confidence to knock on her door.

  He sighed and knocked a couple times.

Luke tried a few more times, wanting to tell Penelope what he was thinking about, after all it was his best friend, if she didn’t accept, they could laugh it up and continue as if nothing happened. 

Penelope opened the door “What’s up, Luke?” She put on her glasses as her eyes adjusted to the light.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Penelope yawned.

He stared at her and took a deep breath “I want a baby” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Are you… Drunk?” She questioned and he shook his head.

“I want to be a dad” He blurted. 

“Ok? Well I know everyone calls me the fairy godmother but it’s not like I can make a baby appear and give it to you”

“What if you could?” Luke objected.

Penelope let out a frustrated sigh “Are you high?”

“No, Penelope, you want to be a mom and I want to be a dad, we haven’t found our person but we’re best friends I thought maybe we could try this” 

“How would that even work? Luke, what the fuck?” 

“Look, there are different types of families, two best friends having a kid and then finding their person doesn’t sound too crazy to me” He insisted.

“Are you being serious right now?” Penelope wondered, trying to examine his face to see if he was messing with her.

“I am” He walked to her and took her hand “Think about it, we’re best friends, we have a baby and we split everything 50/50 costs, responsibilities, and it will be good because we’re not attracted to each other, we won’t get to have married couple fights and all the complicated part” He offered a small smile to his friend who looked at him open-mouthed trying to process everything he was saying.

“I need some time to think about it” Luke smiled when he heard those words and let go of her hand.

“Alright, that’s ok” He walked towards the door “Let me know what you decide on, you know where to find me” As he was about to leave, he turned around and quickly walked to her to hug her.

“Go to sleep, Alvez”

“Garcia-Alvez has a nice ring to it” He whispered in her ear before she swatted at his chest, he rushed to the door and closed it behind him, leaving Penelope standing there, shocked at his proposition but also thoughtful, she walked to her bedroom and snuggled once again in her bed, trying to regain her sleep before Luke came to disrupt her mind.

Penelope and Luke were busy with work for the next couple weeks, until one night she texted him if she could come up to see him, he instantly replied with a yes and Penelope was on her way with an answer to his proposition. She let herself in and walked to his living room, he was watching TV.

“Hello stranger” He patted the couch, inviting her to sit beside him.

She plopped next to him and Luke put his arm around her without taking his eyes from the screen “How’s… life?” 

“Good I guess?” He quickly shot her a look with an eyebrow raised “How about you?”

Penelope played with her hands “Did you mean what you said that other night?” Luke turned to her and took the remote control turning the TV off and giving her his undivided attention.

“About having a baby with you? Absolutely” His voice was firm and his face was serious.

“I’ve thought about it” She looked at him and he was waiting for an answer.

“And?” He questioned with raised eyebrows.

“Ok” Penelope stated in a whisper.

Luke smiled “Ok?”

“Ok” She returned the smile “You are right, there are different type of families and two friends having a kid doesn’t sound like the worst idea”

He leaned forward to her “Should we get to it? Like now?” Penelope jumped.

“No, not now but soon I guess, I’m not sure” She was suddenly self conscious, thinking that in an attempt to have a baby together, they’d need to have sex.

“We could do those fertility tests to know when you’re ovulating” Penelope looked surprised.

“How do you know about those?” She asked with amusement.

“What? Because I’m a guy I can’t know? Come on, Pen, I’m a modern men” She chuckled and looked at him waiting for the truth.

“Ok I saw it on a movie but I do want to know more about this, I plan on being there for you during the pregnancy, Lamaze classes and all”

“Alright, we can talk about all of that later, I’ll just go have dinner now” As she was about to get up, Luke took her hand.

“Don’t go, we can order something or I could cook something for you”

“Didn’t you already had dinner?” He nodded 

“But you can have dinner here, you don’t need to eat all by yourself”

“Alright I’ll go check your fridge, I’m sure there’s some leftover takeout I can eat” Penelope went to the kitchen and Luke started to look for something she could also enjoy on the TV, this was their routine, having dinner at each other’s apartments whenever they could, talking about life, family, dates they’ve been, adding a baby to their dynamic didn’t sound like the worst idea.

“We are having a baby” Penelope announced to their friends, Luke was a little bit terrified of Derek’s reaction to the news, Penelope and him were very close.

“So you’re finally together?” Savannah said with a smile on her face.

Derek who was sitting beside his wife started grinning, he knew this day would come “I’m happy for the both of you”

“Uhm, no, we’re not together, we’re just having a kid” Savannah’s and Derek’s face changed into frowns.

“Oh” Savannah said smiling again, trying not to show her confusion, she wanted to be supportive of her friends, especially Penelope, she was Derek’s best friend.

“So how far along are you, baby girl?” Derek wondered with a more serious expression.

“I’m not pregnant yet, we just decided to have a baby”

“It’s because we both want to be parents so w-we came up with this idea” Luke added.

“Well, that’s great, isn’t it, babe?” Savannah squeezed Derek’s knee for him to say something supportive.

“Yeah, yeah, it is” He tried his best to offer an honest smile “Hank would love to have another cousin, especially coming from his fairy godmother”

Penelope smiled at Luke reassuring him that everything was ok, he had expressed his concerns over Derek’s reaction but as close as Penelope and Derek were, this was her decision. 

Later that evening Penelope offered to help Derek to do the dishes and he was glad he would have a moment alone with her.

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? The whole having a baby with Luke thing?” She noted the worry in his voice, she finished drying the last plate.

“I am, it’s not like we are getting any younger” She shrugged and leaned on the kitchen counter, he shot her a concerned look “Hey, if you weren’t married I’d go to you for this” She joked nudging him with her elbow “Just imagine your DNA and mine, that kid would be something else” They both laughed.

“I can only imagine how that’d conversation would go” Derek commented while drying his hands.

“I actually can’t, I mean Luke was really the one that came up with the subject”

“Was he now?” He asked with an arched brow

“Stop it, it’s not like that” She rolled her eyes “We’re friends, that’s all we are and all we’re going to be”

Derek shook his head and let out a sigh “Alright, if you’re sure then just know you have us for support, questions, help, anything you need, sweetness, and I better be godfather”

Penelope got teary eyed, it was really important to her to count on Derek for this new adventure, he was her most precious friendship, so listening to him saying those words made her feel more at ease, she was sure of her decision but that didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified of the changes coming up.

Soon all of their friends heard the news from Penelope and Luke, Matt and Kristy were very supportive, mostly because in their eyes those two belonged together, they thought that maybe for them the baby had to come first then they’d realize how perfect they were for each other despite their differences. A contrast from Emily’s and JJ’s reaction, JJ had always been super protective of Penelope, and she thought this was a terrible idea where Penelope would end up being hurt, Luke was her friend as well and knew he wasn’t a bad guy but raising a kid with someone was complicated even when you were in a serious relationship with someone you were in love with, Emily wasn’t a fan of the idea either, someone was bound to get hurt and no matter who, their kid would have to pay the consequences, they didn’t explicitly voiced their concerns but neither did they applaud their decision.

Kirsty, JJ brought their kids at Savannah and Derek’s for a playdate, and it was only a matter of time before the subject was brought up.

“So what do you guys think about Pen and Luke’s plan?” JJ asked watching Hank helping Emerson to get the toys she wanted.

“Well I hope she gets pregnant soon, so their baby can be close to this little one in age” Kristy replied while rubbing her stomach.

“It’s gonna be interesting” Added Savannah while taking a sip of wine.

JJ squinted and looked at them “Don’t you think it’s crazy for them to go through it? Penelope is too sensitive, I’m not even sure she’s not feeling something for him already, what if she gets her heart broken?”

“It may not be ideal but…” Savannah shrugged her shoulder and pressed her lips “It’s their decision and I don’t think anything we say will change their minds”

“They want to be parents, they are planning this and seemed excited, I don’t think it’s the worst thing”

The blonde woman remained silent, she was still unsure it was the right choice but everyone seemed to be on board so she tried to be supportive of Luke and Penelope, hoping with all her heart they they’d prove her worries were silly and that they would make it work.

The day had finally come, they were trying tonight and Penelope was a bundle of nerves, Luke on the other hand was excited, lately his desire to be a father was getting stronger, all of his co-workers talked about their experiences in fatherhood and even though they shared both, the good and the bad, he was anxious to experience it firsthand.

“Alright I’m ready” Penelope announced as she entered his apartment in her mermaid nightie and fluffy robe with unicorn slippers, Luke smiled at the sight of her, soon with all the confidence she had mustered, Penelope straddled his waist.

“A ‘hello, how are you?’ would be nice” He joked and she lost all confidence, the blood traveled to her face and she stepped away from him but Luke took her hand and pulled her so she was sitting next to him “I’m kidding, it’s j-just I don’t know, I’m using humor to lighten up the mood”

“I’m mortified, Luke” She admitted with closed eyes “We’re having sex”

“It can’t be that bad, I know it won’t be bad” Penelope opened one eye.

“How could you know?” Luke shot her a smirk and a wink.

“If we’re comfortable enough to have a baby together then I’m comfortable enough to confess I’ve had some dreams”

Her eyes shot open “LUKE!” Penelope’s voice raised with surprise.

“That’s exactly how it sounded” He joked and if Penelope wasn’t red before she was now.

“Oh my God, stop, I don’t know if that makes me feel better or not” Luke laughed, not really understanding why she was so worried.

“Come on, chica, it’s gonna be alright” He placed a strand of her out of her face.

She sighed and sat up straighter “Ok, let’s do it”

Luke caressed her cheek “Are you sure?” 

Penelope swallowed and nodded, he went on to kiss her and after a few seconds she started laughing.

“Pen, this is not helping my confidence” He commented as he pulled away, Penelope rested her forehead on his.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you know I laugh when I feel awkward” Luke softly placed his hands on her shoulders and got up.

He extended out his hand to her “Let’s go to the bedroom” Penelope looked hesitant “If you don’t feel like doing this today, we can do it some other day, it’s ok”

“No, I want to, it’s just… Weird” 

“So I shouldn’t have lit the candles or put a million rose petals on the bed then?” Penelope rolled her eyes, he was teasing her to that one time a guy had done that and it was a huge turn off for her.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up, I hate your mouth so much”

Luke loved to mess with her “I bet you a hundred bucks you won’t be saying that in a few”

“Fuck you, newbie” Penelope spat.

HIs hands signaled to himself “Be my guest” This time he saw the eye roll on her face accompanied with annoyment and he decided to stop his teasing “Alright, alright, look, I know you like fresh sheets and I even used that softener you like, let’s go to bed and… Do this”

“I need a minute” She went to the bathroom and Luke sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for her, he licked his lips, hoping she wasn’t regretting everything, soon Penelope came back and stood between his legs.

“Ok, shut up for real this time and let’s do this” She placed her hands on each side of his face.

“One baby coming up” Penelope facepalmed “... In nine months, th-” She kissed him in an attempt to shut him up for good, Luke immediately responded and placed his hands on her hips.

Once they were done, they remained on his bed, both were hopeful that everything was on their side so within the next couple months they could see a positive pregnancy test, Penelope’s awkwardness was all gone, she figured she was making a big deal of the whole thing, having sex with Luke wasn’t bad and she actually had enjoyed it more than she thought she would.

“Shouldn’t you lift your legs up or something?” Luke suggested.

He didn’t see her rolling her eyes “Is this another thing you saw in a movie?”

Luke turned to her “Maybe”

“Let’s go to sleep Luke” She turned to the other side and fell asleep easily.

That night Luke had another dream with Penelope, except this time, in his dream they were a family, they were even married and had twins, he woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it, he remembered the joy he felt in his dream and allowed himself to imagine how life would be if that scenario became a reality, after a few minutes he shook his head, Penelope was just his friend, there was no interest in being more than that from either side.

They decided to give it a few tries, to increase the chance for them to get pregnant, the next times weren’t awkward except for one time where Luke came in unannounced.

“Pen” He called for her entering her apartment “Chica, let’s get to baby making, there’s a game I really want to catch later” As he finished his sentence he reached Penelope’s living room only to find her sitting there having dinner with a guy, Luke’s eyes widened, she was going to kill him probably.

“Uhm, I think you already have plans for tonight” The guy said while getting to his feet.

“Wait, Joe, it’s-” Penelope didn’t know exactly what to say.

“No, no, it’s ok, I’ll go, it was nice meeting you” He hurriedly got his messenger bag and walked out of the apartment.

Luke immediately apologized “I should’ve knocked, sorry, I’m really sorry” Penelope waved him off.

“A mutual friend set us up, she insisted a lot and I ended up saying yes” She sighed “But right now, I’m not interested in dating, not when I’m trying to have a baby with my friend, so it’s ok” He still felt terrible so he decided to skip the game and stayed to have dinner with her.

“Pen” Luke squeezed her hand “Are you actually gonna take the tests or are you just gonna stare at them?” She looked at him.

“Maybe if I stare them long enough they’ll get some sort of vibes from me and show us if that week of trying worked or not” He smiled sympathetically, six weeks had passed since that week and Penelope avoided taking the pregnancy tests, even though her period had been late, she was scared of seeing the results, Luke was understanding and supportive, he had a good feeling but he put himself in Penelope’s shoes.

“Come on, let’s go” He took the bag of pregnancy tests he had bought and tried to guide her to the bathroom but she didn’t move an inch “It’ll all be ok”

“What if it’s not?” Penelope asked in a whisper.

“Then we’ll get through it, together” She felt tears coming to her eyes, she was terrified of the results, whatever they may be, she knew they would have an impact to her.

Luke was open to keep trying if the results were negative but he didn’t know what Penelope wanted so he wanted to know what the tests actually ended up showing before bringing up the conversation. A few minutes later, he was waiting outside the bathroom for her, he was starting to get worried, she was silent.

“Penelope, can I come in?” No response, that didn’t help his nerves “Ok, I’m coming in” When he entered, he saw her face filled with what he believed to be surprise.

She barely smiled “It’s positive, all of them are actually” Luke’s lips spread into a wide smile.

“I knew I had a good feeling about this” He hugged her and kissed her hair, they were going to be parents.

The next few months flew by, soon they were getting ready to welcome the little one, true to his word Luke had been with Penelope as much as he could, whenever he wasn’t at work he was beside her learning together, reading books, attending classes, building baby furniture, reading Penelope’s favorite children’s books to the baby, feeling the baby kick for the first time, discussing names, imagining how life would be once the baby arrived.

None of them had been really interested in meeting new people during the pregnancy, until Phil, Luke’s friend insisted on setting him up with a doctor, after much insistence Luke accepted, not without asking first Penelope for advice on whether he should go out with her or not.

“She sounds great, you should do it, it’s been an eternity since you’ve gone on a date” Penelope mentioned rubbing her belly “I miss listening to your disastrous dates stories, they are quite entertaining” Luke glared at her and handed her the ice cream pint she had asked for.

“Ha-ha, you’re very funny” He pursed his lips together “I think I’m gonna tell Phil yes”

Penelope winked at him while licking ice cream off her spoon “Great, I’ll help you choose a nice outfit”

A week later Luke was out with Lisa, Phil’s friend, she was really nice, easy to talk with and gorgeous, she didn’t seem to freak out entirely when he brought up that he was about to be a dad, he was actually enjoying the night, for a second he saw that she seemed distracted and looking behind him.

“I’m sorry, Luke” She cut him off “I think there’s someone trying to get your attention” His brows furrowed as he turned around to find Penelope carrying her hospital bag, this immediately made him panic as he rushed to her.

“Are you in labor?” He took her by the shoulders and examined her.

“Yes, my water broke” Luke was in shock for a second “An hour ago but it is until now that the contractions are getting frequent and…” She placed her hands on her shirt and clutched the fabric  “...Stronger” 

“Oh my God, you should’ve called me the minute it happened, let’s go” He tried to take her hand but she managed to remind him to give an explanation to the nice woman that looked at them with empathy in her eyes.

Soon they were settled in the hospital room, Penelope wasn’t ready to push yet but both her and the baby were doing fine.

“You were supposed to go into labor in two weeks” Luke was scared this was a sign something was wrong but after some tests, doctors and nurses assured them everything looked normal.

“I guess we already know newbie junior is antsy like daddy” 

“We don’t even know if the baby’s a boy”

“Oh newbie is gender neutral, I’ve been calling them this without actually thinking it’s a boy or a girl”

Luke smiled and started to push some strands of hair out of her face “You’re being a champion, Pen, you’re handling everything amazingly”

Penelope laughed as she took deep breaths “Oh, don’t be fooled newbie, I’m freaking out and I might pull one of those ‘what have you done to me? I hate you’ lines just like in the movies” 

“I’ll take it, chica, you can even punch me if you want, so I can experience at least a little bit of pain with you”

“I’ll keep that in mind” She joked.

Soon Penelope started to push and not even once she cursed at Luke, he held her hand, cleaned the sweat off her forehead and kept encouraging her to trust her body, Penelope was exhausted and sometimes she felt like she couldn’t go through it but then she remembered that after all the pain she would finally look her baby in the eyes and fall in love like she had never done before, she tried to remember everything she had learned from her doula, and within the hour she heard her baby’s cries.

Luke swore it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, while Penelope’s eyes focused on the baby who was being all cleaned up.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy” Doctor Kim said as she placed the newborn on his mother’s chest.

“Hello you” Penelope whispered with tears on her eyes, and Luke stood over her head watching his son “You couldn’t wait to meet us, little one” The small baby fuzzed.

“It’s alright, we couldn’t wait to meet you either” Luke said while seeing him open his eyes for a brief moment before he closed them and nuzzled to her mom’s chest.

“He’s here, Luke” She stated without taking her eyes off her boy “We did it”

The following morning, the new parents were still living in their own bubble with their son, he was healthy and so was Penelope.

“Ok so we agreed on Bowie, right?” Penelope tried to see if Luke would budge.

“No, sorry chica, we didn’t”

“Alright, Ziggy then” Luke laughed softly, she kept suggesting those ever since she got pregnant.

“Nope”

“Ok…” She tapped the baby’s little nose “David it is”

“What about Julian?” He suggested and Penelope felt in her heart that was perfect for him.

“Julian” She bit back the smile and thought about messing with him for a little “I guess we’ll go with your suggestion”

“Hey, I’m trying to-” Penelope finally looked up to him and smiled widely.

“I’m kidding, I love it, he looks like a Julian” His tiny lips turned up in what looked like a tiny smile “See? Jules agrees” She passed the tiny bundle to Luke and he happily held his son.

“Hello young Julian Garcia-Alvez, we love you more than you could ever imagine”

Later that day Derek and Savannah came to visit, they couldn’t wait one minute more to meet the new addition to their lives.

“Hello, hello” Savannah announced as she carefully opened the door and peeked her head “We’re here to meet the handsome boy”

“Ah! We were waiting to see you” Penelope was beaming at the thought of her found family meeting her boy “Come on in”

Derek entered eyeing the three of them, he was glad for her best friend, she had always wanted to be a mom and now she had finally become one.

“Look at that, my baby girl had a baby boy” Derek saw the tiny baby in Luke’s arms, he was familiar with the look on Luke’s face, it was one of pure love and adoration, the one he had for Hank when he had been born.

“Let me present to you to Julian Garcia”

Derek raised an eyebrow at Penelope “It’s Julian Garcia-Alvez but I guess Luke’s too lazy to say the full name”

Luke didn’t even seem to hear them mention his name, he was to absorbed in his son “I love the name, he’s gorgeous, congratulations guys” Savannah squeezed Penelope’s shoulder.

After a conversation about how Penelope had to interrupt Luke’s date and how was Julian’s birth, all while his auntie held little Jules, Savannah suggested Luke to go and get some tea and muffins, she wanted to give Derek and Penelope a moment so they could have a conversation of their own, ever since she had started dating Derek she knew him and Penelope shared a really special friendship and that sometimes they needed a moment just them alone to talk about life.

“We’ll be right back” Luke glanced at Penelope and Julian and smiled at them before closing the door behind him.

They remained silent for a few minutes as they only focused on Julian who was now wide awake.

“How are you feeling?” Derek asked softly.

“I feel like I’m in a dream” She admitted “I can’t believe this sweet little boy was given to me”

He placed his hand in the side of her face “I already know you’re gonna be the most amazing mom to Julian” Penelope leaned into his touch.

“Thank you for being there, both you and Savannah were the two people that were the most supportive, I’m still not sure JJ and Em are totally on board with this and Matt and Kristy they have five kids now so we don’t get to see them much but you and Savannah were always there for us”

“And we plan on continue being there for the three of you” Penelope couldn’t hold back her tears “May I?” She carefully handed Julian over to him.

“Can I confess something? I’m scared about how this is gonna go, I mean with Luke, how we’re gonna make this dynamic work”

“Baby girl, are you sure you don’t have feelings for him?” Penelope smiled.

“I love the guy, I mean he’s the father of my baby but no, there’s no feelings there” She was being honest but still Derek felt uneasy, thinking the situation could change and Penelope would end with a broken heart. 

“Ok, well I’m sure you will make it work, maybe it won’t be easy but both of you are very determined and at the end of the day it’s this little guy you’ll be doing everything for so I’m sure you’ll be ok”

“Oh, chocolate thunder, you always know what to say” Penelope stated seeing Derek smiling at Julian “I wanted to ask you something, well, Luke and I did” 

“Anything”

“We were wondering if Savannah and you would like to be Jules’ godparents?”

“Oh, Penelope, I would’ve disowned you if you hadn’t asked, of course, we would be honored to be his godparents” 

“I love you, Derek Morgan” She reached out for his hand.

He looked at her and squeezed her hand “And I love you Penelope Garcia” He looked down at his new godson “I love you too Julian”

That day after Derek and Savannah, Luke’s family, and the rest of their friends had visited them to meet Julian.

Penelope came out of Julian’s room, she had put him down to sleep, already knowing he was going to wake up in a few hours, three months had already come and gone, neither could believe how fast time was passing by, they had adjusted quite nicely.

“Ok, I have some more things I need you to store in your apartment” She signaled some things next to the door, they were some coats, a pair of skis, shoe boxes, even her ukulele was being forgotten at the moment and since it was taking space it had to be stored on Luke’s place, they had been doing that ever since they’ve brought Julian home.

“Have I ever told you you own way to many shoes?” Luke commented rubbing his eyes.

“All the time” She smiled “I still don’t care”

“Alright, I’ll take them now and don’t worry about waking up later, I’ll come down to feed him” She raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure?” 

“Of course, it’s around 2 when he wakes up, right?” Luckily for them, Julian was the greatest baby, he easily fell into routine, he woke up around the same time each night, so Luke had alarms and he came down so it wasn’t only Penelope waking up at night.

“Yeah”

“Ok, goodnight”

For Luke it felt as if he had just closed his eyes when the alarm went off, he quickly got up and went to Penelope’s place, he opened the fridge to find the different bottles, each of them were labeled:

One glass of wine.

Couple of Margaritas.

Pure.

Stressful day.

Pure.

He snorted and grabbed one of the bottles labeled as ‘pure’ and proceeded to warm it, he didn’t hear any crying when he came in so he assumed Julian had yet to wake up demanding to be fed, a few minutes later the three month old woke up and Luke was ready to feed him, he sat in the rocking chair with the baby to his chest, once Julian was done with the bottle, he burped him and sat a little bit more with him, he loved those moments were he could hold his son and sing the lullabies his mom and grandma used to sing to him when he was a kid.

He was loving being a dad and co-parenting with Penelope, he practically lived there, he would leave only at night but even then, he’d come back and sometimes would end up crashing at the couch waking up at Penelope’s. Luke placed Julian on his crib and left the room, as he walked out of the room he saw a photo of the three of them in the hallway and smiled, everything felt right.

Luke hurried through the stairs, he was coming home from work and Penelope was calling him nonstop to get home, he didn’t wait for the elevator and took the stairs, once he opened the door, he was met by a crying Julian and a crying Penelope.

“I’ve done everything and he won’t stop crying, he hates me, Luke” She said through her sobs.

Luke felt bad for Penelope, she was more sensitive than usual, the hormones were to blame, he went to them and took Julian in his arms.

“I’m his mom and he already hates me” She cleaned her tears off her face.

Luke started to sway him from side to side “He can’t hate you now, wait until he’s sixteen”

“LUKE!” Soon Julian stopped crying in Luke’s arms “How the fuck did you do that?” She asked in surprise.

“Oh, I don’t know I guess he loves me but he hates you” He saw the tears on her eyes “I’m kidding, I’m kidding”

Penelope sighed and sat on the couch “I’m returning to work soon and we don’t have a nanny yet”

“I know, I asked around some of my coworkers and they recommended me some agency” She smiled.

“That’s great, but we need to be clear on something” He looked at her with a frown “You can’t fuck the nanny”

“Penelope! I wasn’t planning on doing that”

“Ok, just saying, newbie”

By the end of the week they had hired Max to be Julian’s nanny, Penelope was faced with another challenge, learning how to manage going to work and being a mom, soon she discovered it was hard but she could handle it, she missed going to work, seeing her co-workers and having an excuse to actually put on some decent clothes and makeup.

 Matt, Kristy, JJ, Emily and their six children were visiting Luke, Penelope and Julian, they hadn’t seen them since the hospital, they were curious to see how ‘the experiment’ as Emily called it was going.

“I’m not gonna lie, I think the reason they didn’t invite us over sooner it’s because they’re having a hard time adjusting” Emily spoke up.

“You think? I don’t know” Matt replied.

“I mean it wouldn’t be a surprise, becoming a parent it’s not easy” Kristy added to Emily’s comment.

“We’re about to see” JJ said as they all stepped out of the elevator, it took five seconds for Penelope and Luke receive them, he had Julian on a baby carrier close to his chest.

“Hello!” They said in unison, after a round of hugs and greetings, they went to the living room.

“Please, get yourselves some drinks, I made some tapas, I’ll go get them” Penelope announced and JJ joined her in the kitchen.

“Hey, everything looks great” She meant it.

“Thanks, we manage to keep everything in place but Jules is about to start crawling so next time you won’t find a tidy place” Penelope laughed.

JJ frowned “Is Luke living here?” 

“No, well, kind of, he spends a lot of time with Jules” She shrugged it off, it wasn’t a big deal for them.

“Penelope…” JJ sighed “What’s this that you have going on?” Penelope rolled her eyes at her words, it wasn’t the first time she questioned it and certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“We’re raising a baby, he stays over, sue me” JJ’s eyes widened “No, he stays over but nothing happens, I’m not attracted to him and he’s not attracted to me, it’s all fine” 

“Ok, then it’s time for you to get yourself out there again”

“Actually I’ve been thinking about it”

“Say no more” Her friend winked at her and Penelope just went long with it, JJ said about a co-worker of hers that sounded dreamy. Once they returned with some appetizers, everyone was settled, Luke had taken the older kids to the other room where they put on a movie for them and gave them some sandwiches and toys so they could be entertained.

“It looks like you’re doing amazing, man” Matt said as he placed Rose on the ground, she was eager to follow Emerson,

“Yeah, it is, Pen and I are convinced we got very lucky with Julian, he’s great”

“Wait until he starts walking” Emily commented while she watched Emerson closely, she was walking around the adults, observing what she could grab, unfortunately for her, the apartment was childproof so there was nothing she could really play with other than Julian’s toys and her own.

“I know I told Luke that by then I’m sure I’ll have to give up my high heels” Penelope said while sitting down next to him and absentmindedly resting her hand in Luke’s thigh “Can you imagine me running around a kid in five inch heels?” They all laughed and Luke placed an arm around her, everyone could see the look on his face as Penelope continued talking, Matt and Kristy shared a knowing look and JJ was just starting to think Penelope was lying about “nothing going on”.

The rest of their visit went by quite quickly, all of them enjoying their time together, at some point, Penelope realizes it’s their first time her and Luke can relate to the parenting experiences and struggles, even though Derek, Savannah and Hank couldn’t make it, her heart fills with joys as she sees most of her found family together.

“You’re almost there, buddy” Luke was sitting on the floor, multitasking, he folded laundry and watched Julian as he tried to stand using Luke’s arm as support.

“Breakfast is ready for my favorite guys” Penelope announced carrying two plates “Here, put these on the coffee table, I’ll go get Jules’ plate” She leaned down to carry him “Come on little guy, let’s get those hands clean”

While Luke and Penelope both sat on the floor, Julian used the coffee table for support and finally managed to stand up and grab some of his breakfast, he was a good eater, they stared at him, amazed by the little boy who owned their hearts.

“Can you believe he’s almost nine months? He’s getting so big” She sighed nostalgically.

“I know, I feel like in no time he’ll be going to preschool” Luke added as he took a bite of his own breakfast.

“Don’t even start” Jules looked up to his mom “Yeah, baby, what if we slow down a little with this whole growing up so fast? Can you do that for mommy?” Luke was also looking at Penelope, he was thinking about how wonderful the last year and a half of his life had been, since finding out about the pregnancy to that very moment, he felt extremely content to have Julian and Penelope in his life.

“Ma!” He exclaimed and went back to grab a fistful of scrambled eggs.

Luke smiled at his son then he turned to Penelope “You know? I don’t think it’s been that hard, all of this”

“Right?” She took a sip of juice “I feel the same, we make a good team, newbie”  Just as Luke was about to say something else, Penelope’s phone dinged, she quickly took it and smiled at the screen, he remained silent and took Julian and sat him between his legs and put his plate in front of him so he could continue eating his breakfast.

“You’re done, Julian” He said to his son as the baby looked up to him with wide eyes “Yeah, it’s gone, it’s all in your tummy now, come on, let’s get you changed”

“Oh, I can change him, don’t worry” Penelope took her eyes off her phone.

“Alright, I’ll go wash these” He said as he took the dishes into the kitchen, trying to think who was Penelope texting.

A very happy Penelope entered the kitchen carrying a very happy Julian, they went to stand beside Luke as he finished drying the plates.

“You’re in a good mood” Luke stated trying to seem nonchalant.

Penelope couldn’t hold back the smirk “I am, I need to tell you something” She sat Julian in the kitchen counter “I’m going out with someone tonight”

Luke wasn’t sure why he felt a stinging sensation in his heart “Oh” He couldn’t think of something else to say.

Her smile soon changed into a frown “Is that ok? I thought this was my free night, but if you’ve got plans I can- “ Luke interrupted her.

“No, no, no, no plans at all” He tried his best to fake smile “It’s great, I’m happy for you, who’s the lucky guy?”

“His name is Sam, JJ set us up, we’ve been texting these past couple weeks and we decided to go out today”

“Great” Luke said without looking at her nor sounding very cheerful but Penelope failed to notice that.

Later that evening Penelope was a nervous wreck, she had facetimed JJ and Emily to voice her concerns about going on a date, she felt like she didn’t even remembered how to go on a first date, she remained sat on her bed, with her robe on, looking at the outfit her friends had helped her choosing, she thought about calling Derek, he was great at helping her when she wasn’t feeling her best self, as Luke passed her bedroom after putting Julian to bed, he stopped and saw that she didn’t have the happy look she had that morning.

He opened the door a little bit more and peeked at her “Hey, how is getting ready going? Everything good? Did he cancel?”

Penelope quickly looked up “No, it’s just that I’m nervous” As soon as she said she felt a little embarrassed “That’s stupid, isn’t it? Oh God” Luke entered and sat beside her and took her hand.

“Not at all, it’s normal to be nervous before going on a first date, but I’m sure you’ll be fine, from what I gathered he’s a great guy”

Her eyebrows raised “Did you eavesdropped my conversation with the girls?”

“Pen, you were literally sitting across Julian and I”

“Oh, that’s true, sorry, I was a little distracted then” She confessed running her hands through her hair.

“Should I prepare some tea for you and your nerves?” He suggested, not liking to see her stressed and thinking she shouldn’t be worrying, it was impossible she wouldn’t blow the guy’s mind, she was a catch.

Penelope placed one hand on the side of his face “Luke, that would be wonderful, you are a gift” 

“Alright, you continue getting ready and I’ll bring your tea in a moment” Just as he was about to leave, Penelope called him “Yeah?”

“Nevermind” She sighed and stood up to start doing her hair.

“Penelope? Come on, you can tell me anything” He leaned in the door frame, waiting for her to say something, instead she turned around and opened her robe, she was in her underwear.

“Do you think my body is ready to, you know, get out there?” Luke ignored the sensations the image in front of him caused to his body and walked to her, putting his hands on either side of her face.

“You are beautiful, Penelope, don’t ever think you’re not, you could’ve gone out on a date the next month after having Julian for all I know” She blushed and looked down “I mean it, you are the whole package, you’re smart, kind, witty, and sexy as hell so stop doubting yourself and if for some reason this guy doesn’t seem to be into you, then we’ll tell JJ, her friend is out of his mind” He kissed her hair.

“You really have a way with words, Alvez” She managed to look up and smiled “We need to find you someone as well” He pressed his lips together and that’s when he knew he didn’t want someone else, he wanted Penelope.

As he prepared her tea, he sat on a stool and tried to think when his feelings for her had changed, he was sure he didn’t feel that way before, or maybe he was but didn’t realize? He was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t listen the kettle whistling, he rushed to it so it wouldn’t wake Julian up but he was late, he went to get him and later appeared in Penelope’s room with Jules attached to his hip and nuzzled in his neck in one arm and a mug in the other.

“Here you go” He said placing it on her vanity. 

“Oh thanks” She glanced at him through the mirror “And thanks for getting him, I can’t exactly stand up fast and move freely with these attached to my boobs” She laughed.

“It’s ok”

“Isn’t this sexy?” She joked “Hair curlers on my head, makeup half done and pumping breast milk” Penelope laughed, she felt much more relaxed after Luke’s words.

He managed to smirk, it was an amusing image but in that moment it was also a beautiful one to him, even though in some part of his heart he felt it was wrong seeing her getting ready to go out with someone else.

“Your mom doesn’t believe what I tell her, Jules, please don’t be like her when you grow up” Penelope swatted his stomach.

“Hey! Don’t put my baby against me” She reached to Julian and Luke got him closer to Pen “Go to sleep, my sweet boy, I love you” The sleepy baby barely registered his mom kissing his forehead.

Luke put Julian to sleep and half an hour later saw Penelope walk out the door, he tried to watch TV but got distracted every few minutes by his thoughts who were set on Penelope and how her date was going, he glanced at the clock every frequently and even at the door, hoping to see her come in and say she wasn’t going out anymore because she had realized it was him she wanted to be with.

He leaned back on the couch “Stop, Alvez” He said to himself, he thought about calling Matt but it was kinda late, so he decided against it, after what it seemed like an eternity, Penelope walked through the door, she quickly took off her shoes and coat, she didn’t see Luke until he spoke.

“Hey, how was it?” He said rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you”

 “It’s ok, I wasn’t sleeping well anyway, so did you have a good time?” Penelope smiled widely and nodded.

“JJ was right, he’s amazing, I-I think he could be the one, and I know it sounds precipitated to say that but...” Luke felt his heart break and couldn’t even focus on what she was saying, he felt his world starting to crumble down “Luke? Are you hearing what I’m saying?”

He snapped out of it “Yeah, yeah, I’m glad, Pen, uhm I guess we won’t have to complain to JJ about it” He rubbed his palms against his jeans and got up “I’m gonna call it a night, I’m gonna go up, ok? I’ll see you guys tomorrow”

“Ok, have a good night” She replied with the smile that had never left her lips since her date started, she really felt a connection with Sam.

A few weeks passed by and Luke called Matt to ask him if he wanted to go shoot some hoops with him, Matt found the urgency in his voice odd and was sure it was a bad sign, he agreed and met him at the basketball courts they frequented. As they started, Luke tried to tell him how he had felt ever since Penelope had started seeing Sam, he was going around about other things without saying what he actually meant.

At one moment when Luke tried to take the ball from Matt, he abruptly stopped and went to the bench signaling Luke to go with him.

“So you have feelings for Penelope” It was a statement not a question.

“That’s not what I-” Matt rolled his eyes.

“Cut the bullshit, Luke, I wasn’t asking, I know for a fact you do, it was bound to happen and that time we all went to your house, you looked at her the way I look at Kristy, the way Derek looks at Savannah”

“You should’ve told me then, maybe then she wouldn’t have gone out with mr. Wonderful”

“Hey, it wasn’t up to me to get your stubborn ass to come to terms with your feelings, it was something you had to figure out on your own, unfortunately you did until you saw her with someone else” He drank water as Luke sat beside him running his hands through his hair.

“Should I talk to Derek? Ask him some advice?” Matt snapped his head at him.

“About what? Winning her over? I hate to say this but if she’s happy with this Sam guy, you shouldn’t interfere” Luke looked at him feeling almost betrayed “Dude, I know she’s feeling very happy, she’s talked to Kristy and she seems hopeful to see where it leads”

Luke sat with his head in his hands, not liking what he was hearing but knowing Matt was right, Luke himself had witnessed Penelope’s new happiness and excitement over the relationship “Why do I have to be so fucking stupid? Imagine if I had known before, maybe it would’ve been us in a relationship” Matt patted his shoulder.

“Hey, their relationship is fairly new, no one knows, maybe they’ll be done in a few months and you’ll have your chance, don’t lose all hope but don’t interfere”

He sit up “I guess you’re right”

“You should try and find someone as well, give it a try and see where it goes”

“Yeah, maybe I will, I don’t know” Matt got up.

“Alright, let’s resume the game ‘cause I’m beating your ass, Alvez” Luke rolled his eyes and followed his friend.

A few days later, after getting some groceries Luke had encountered with Lisa, the woman he was on a date with the day Penelope had gone into labor, he remembered how nice she was and they agreed on meeting again sometime, soon after that they were dating and although he knew he still had feelings for Penelope, she was very happy with Sam, he had met him and he hated the fact that there wasn’t much to dislike about him. He was amazing to Penelope and Julian, he was attentive, very respectful, kind, and the list went on, Luke was starting to come to terms that maybe Penelope and Sam were going to become permanent at some point and it did hurt him to think about it, but then he remembered he had Lisa, who was also an incredible person that was very understanding of his co-parenting situation.

It was almost New Year’s and the entire gang were going to a cabin to spend it together, it was the first trip since Julian was born and Penelope and Luke brought significant others, everyone was excited to spend the holiday together.

Penelope was packing her suitcase for the trip, Luke had packed Julian’s the day before so she only had to worry about her stuff, she remembered Luke had her skis and went up to ask him if he could take them in his car. As the door opened she was met with a smiling Lisa, the one year old in Penelope’s arms squealed happily.

“Isa!” He extended his arms to her and Lisa looked at Penelope to which the blonde nodded and allowed Julian to go with her before asking to be down.

“Pen! You’re here, are you ready?” Luke greeted her.

Penelope swallowed unable to get her eyes off Lisa who was helping Julian to walk “Uhm yeah, almost ready, I was wondering if you could take my skis?”

“Sure thing, I already loaded them in the car”

“Alright, we’ll get going” Penelope announced wanting to have his son back in her arms.

“Hey, if you want we can take Jules” Luke suggested and before Penelope could say anything Lisa spoke.

“Oh, absolutely, we could do that” Penelope gave them a tight lipped smile and clasped her hands together.

“Alright if you want to, it’s alright, I mean, if you’re sure”

“Of course, he’s the sweetest boy, aren’t you Jules?” Julian hugged Lisa’s leg and Penelope felt something she didn’t know how to label.

“Ok then, I’ll see you guys later”

“Wait Pen, I’ll go down with you to get Jules’ stuff” Luke walked with her to the elevator and for the first time in years, there was an awkward silence, at least that’s how it felt to Penelope whereas to Luke was just a normal silence.

“Is it okay that Julian goes with us, right?” He turned to her.

“Oh, yeah, totally” She mirrored his actions.

“I’m really looking forward to this trip, it’s the first time JJ, Em, Derek and Savannah are gonna meet Lisa” Penelope shot him her best forced smile and nodded.

Luke was in fact, telling the truth, his relationship was in a good place, he felt hopeful about a future with Lisa, she was very clear by telling him that she was looking for something serious and it came as a surprise to him when he found himself telling Lisa, he was also expecting to be with someone for the long run and that they should work towards a relationship of that kind, he was finally moving on from Penelope.

Or so he thought.

The cabin they rented was beautiful, it was big but cozy at the same time, everyone, adults and kids, were excited to be spending the next few days there, getting to know Sam and Lisa a little bit more since everything indicated they could eventually be more present in their lives. Matt and Kristy entered carrying, what it seemed like twenty bags, followed by their five kids, David holding little Rose’s hand who was excited to be walking in the house.

“The Simmonses have arrived” Derek yelled as he walked over to them to help with their stuff.

“We have and we are ready for the kids to be with their uncles and aunts while mom and dad rest” Kristy joked placing the bags on the floor.

“You definitely deserve some relax time, you guys are saints” JJ said hugging the kids.

“Where are the others?” Mat asked.

“We’re here!” Penelope announced appearing from the kitchen walking hand in hand with Sam “I’d like you to meet Sam”

“Oh we’ve heard great things about you, it’s great to finally meet you, I’m Matt, this is Kristy, and these are Jake, David, Lily, Chloe and Rose” Sam shook hands with the married couple and high fived the kids.

“Nice to meet you all, I was looking forward to finally see you, I have two boys myself that are actually your age I think” He said to Jake and David “So if you want to play something maybe I can join you” Both kids eagerly nodded.

The next couple days, almost everyone seemed to be having a great time, except for Emily and JJ, they seemed a little bit off but no one dared to ask why, it was only at moments they would be quiet than usual and seemed to be a little bit out of it, they tried to put pieces together but no one seemed to have a clear idea of what was going on, they didn’t look distanced from each other nor from Emerson, so they tried to not interfere.

“Oh, I’m happy to see you’re feeling better, babe, are you joining us for breakfast?” Penelope said to Savannah who had missed previous breakfasts.

“Yes, I’ll be down in a minute” She replied while tapping Julian’s nose.

Penelope went down and found Sam helping the kids with their breakfasts, it was a funny and sweet sight, Jake, David, Chloe, Lily and Hank gathered around him as he placed pancakes on all of their plates.

“Look at you JJ, you finally got it right with Sam” Kristy teased her, JJ had the worst record setting up Penelope and it was a never ending joke between the group of friends.

The blonde woman rolled her eyes and smirked “If you ever decide to have a kid, Pen, I must be the godmother” She half joked.

“I don’t know, maybe eventually” Both Kristy and JJ snapped their heads at her “What? I think this is going somewhere, he has two kids, I have one but I don’t know”

“I can’t believe there’s something you don’t know, Pen” Luke’s voice made them turn around to see him walking from the hallway, having listened only the last part of what Penelope was saying “Good morning ladies, I made some coffee if you want”

“Thanks Luke, where’s Lisa?” Kristy questioned.

“Oh, she’s getting ready for the day, she’ll be out in a few”

Once they were all sitting in the large dining table, Derek called their attention, both him and Savannah had big smiles on their faces.

“We would like to tell you that next year we’ll need a bigger cabin” Savannah taking her husband’s hand.

Derek continued “There’s going to be not one, but two new Morgans causing trouble” The entire group erupted in cheers and congratulations, JJ’s eyes went immediately to her wife, she knew her and knew that it took everything in Emily to smile, they were going through some stuff.

Part of the group had decided to go skiing while the others preferred to stay at the cabin and drink some hot chocolate, Matt, Derek and Luke walked a few feet behind Sam, Lisa and JJ.

“So Morgan’s party of five? How are you holding up?” Matt asked Derek, he remembered the surprise, nervousness and excitement that came when receiving the news he was going to have twins.

“Oh man, I can’t believe it, I still am processing all of it, Hank’s four so I’m not even sure I remember exactly how life with a newborn is, let alone two” All along Luke and Matt noticed how his features softened.

“I bet you and Savannah will get the hang of it” Luke assured him.

“You know we got you guys, so anything we can help with, I’m sure there’s some stuff we have that we don’t use anymore but it’s in great shape that you could use” Matt added and Derek felt thankful for them, all of them.

“Now that I have a son maybe you’ll finally trust me to babysit” 

“I’m not sure, we’ll see, we’ll see” Derek teased him and Luke scoffed.

“I vouch for him, Derek, I’m actually sort of proud of you, dude” Matt turned to Luke “It’s really warming to see you with Julian”

“I gotta agree with that, I was just messing with you Luke, what Matt is saying it’s true, I’ve loved to witness both you and baby girl, as parents to Jules”

“Thanks guys, it means a lot to have your support and to have you as a part of Julian’s life” Luke spoke from his heart but he also needed to point something out “Not to end the soft moment here, but did you see Sam’s face the other night when you called Penelope ‘baby girl’?”

“Oh I did, it took everything in me not to burst into laughter, Kristy actually kicked me in the shin beneath the table” Luke laughed.

“Honestly I’m so used to it that I didn’t notice but Savannah did and she told me to do something about it but Penelope assured me that she had explained everything to him and that he seemed fine with it, but I’ve toned it down a lot, I don’t know, I think this could be it for Penelope you know?” Luke swallowed, he had thought about it but wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Matt spoke up “They seem to be very serious, I like him”

“I guess I do too?” Derek shrugged, his mind remembering how just a few months ago he was convinced Luke was the one for Penelope, Luke and Matt eyed him curiously and that made him rephrase his words “I-I do like him, it’s just I’m super protective of her but he makes her happy so yeah” Luke refrained from offering his thoughts on Penelope’s relationship, he wasn’t sure what he made of it, how he felt, just then Lisa called out for him and he remembered he had an amazing woman in his life.

It was finally New Year’s Eve, the kids were all asleep and the adults were planning on enjoying dinner and drinks together, they were halfway through their dinner when Sam brought up an interesting subject.

“I have to say, I’ve been curious how did you come up with the idea of having a child together? Whose idea was it?” He wondered genuinely interested in listening the story.

“I… Don’t remember” Penelope tried to shrug it off, not wanting to discuss that in front of everyone.

“It was me actually, I had the idea, she had talked to me about wanting to be a mom and I wanted to be a dad and next thing we know we had Jules” Luke replied nonchalantly.

“The truth is he wanted this genepool for his kid, I mean, can you blame him?” Penelope joked while signaling herself.

“And have you thought what exactly are you gonna tell him when he’s older? About his parents being with other people” Lisa inquiried, her tone wasn’t rude at all.

The rest listened and focused on their plates, that was until a tipsy Emily decided to jump in the conversation.

“Oh, I want to listen to this, I bet they didn’t think about it”

“Well we might have talked about it once or twice but didn’t came up with a plan exactly” Penelope replied nervously, thinking it wasn’t any of their business, except Luke and hers.

“I’m sure you’ll do great, at least you were always aware that you were going to have the conversation, I never believed I had to until I got divorced” Sam interjected, regretting bringing up the subject.

“No, but that actually makes more sense to me, I mean why you decide that you’ll bring a child into a world with someone you don’t love” The alcohol started to make Emily talk way more than she intended to

JJ tried to stop her, she took her hand “Babe, stop” Emily shook her hand and ignored her suggestion.

“You were in love with your wife I assume, I understand shit happens, people get divorced all the time and have to talk about this with their kids but doing it deliberately? I can’t fucking understand it”

Luke cleared his throat “Em, with all due respect, that’s how you think but-” Emily cut him off.

“No, not only me, everyone on this table believed you were crazy for doing this” She slurred “We all thought having a kid with someone you don’t love wasn’t the brightest idea”

Penelope who had remained silent, couldn’t hold it anymore and started to speak “Ok Emily but how are you so sure we don’t love each other? I’ve known Luke for more than half of my life, he’s one of my closest friends” She took a deep breath trying not to raise her voice and continued “He has been there through the good and the bad more than any of you have, sure it’s because we’ve been practically neighbors for years but that doesn’t make it less valid, I know pretty much anything there is to know about him and I love him for who he is, I know why when we first met him he was kind of a loner, I know he’s not a great cook but he does a mean lasagna, I know he’s loyal and honest and has one of the kindest hearts ever, we have the same values, we have the same sense of humor, I know his position on just about everything and I wholeheartedly agree with him, what better man could I have possibly chose to be the father of my son? Huh? So please refrain from giving your opinion on something that’s not your business at all, Em” Luke seemed to be at loss of words, many different emotions were going through his heart, for a second he forgot why was Penelope telling all of this, because of Emily, and everyone else seemed to fade into the background, he wasn’t moving on with his life, he was deeply in love with Penelope Garcia.

“Well-” Penelope cut Savannah off

“And I know, I just know that no matter what happens in a year or two or ten, we’ll be fine, because we love each other” She finished feeling how her pulse had quickened.

Emily snorted “Alright if you say so, but let me tell you something, you seem fine now but life gets complicated, friends” She addressed the entire gang “You don’t know it yet but it does” She rushed to their bedroom and JJ goes after her not before muttering apologies to Penelope, Luke and the rest of their friends, everyone is uncomfortable and confused by Emily’s outburst.

Penelope is excited to see everyone and celebrate Luke’s birthday together, she’s rushes out of the cab to the restaurant, only to find Luke in the waiting area of the restaurant.

“Hi, happy birthday” Luke hugged her “Where’s everybody? I thought I was going to be the last one here?” She breathed out.

“Oh, it’s just us tonight” Penelope frowned but didn’t say a thing “Julian seemed really happy to be with his grandma” Luke tried to change the subject so she wouldn’t question him. 

“Aw, he does love her, how’s your mom?” He took the chair out for her and then proceeded to take his sit.

“She’s doing alright, she asked me to say hi to you” He passed the message, knowing his mom wouldn’t forgive him if he forgot to do so.

“I should go and visit Elena one of these days, talking to her always lifts my spirits”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

“Yeah, I’m sure she’d be thrilled to see you, she loves you, Pen” He leaned against the table and took her hand in his.

“She’s the sweetest, really” She adjusted her glasses and opened the menu “And where’s Lisa?” 

“No Lisa tonight, she’s on duty” He lied, rubbing his beard. 

Penelope pouted “Oh, I’m sorry, Luke” When he saw her sympathetic look he decided to cut the act.

“Don’t be, because it’s actually not true” Her face filled with confusion.

“Oh no, what happened?”

“Nothing, everything was great, she’s great” Luke looked down and felt it coming.

“Then what’s wrong?” Penelope asked with a furrowed eyebrows.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m sure my mom would’ve loved her but…” He looked in her eyes and once again grabbed her hand “All I do when I’m with her is think about you and only you” Penelope mouth fell open, she felt the air removed from her lungs “I didn’t want her here tonight nor anyone really, I broke things off with her, I wanted my family with me and I realized you are my family” His voice broke “You and Julian are everything I need to get through life” The moment Penelope realized there were tears on his eyes, her own vision became blurry, she moved her chair to be next to him and leaned her head in his shoulder. 

Next thing she knew Luke was lifting her chin and searching for her lips, she pulled away even before their lips touched “Luke, I’m with Sam”

“Oh, yeah, sorry I should allow you to talk to him before-” Penelope closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“We’re moving in together” Luke forgot how to breathe for a moment “I met his kids a few months ago and we’ve been talking about taking the next step ever since and we found a great place, I’m sorry, Luke”

He looked confused “But what about all you said that time Emily questioned us?”

Penelope look dumbfounded “I-I, it wasn’t a lie, I meant everything that I said, I love you but I-I’m not-” She took the hair out of her face “I love you so much as a friend, I thought we were on the same page, I don’t know what-” Luke let her go and got up, he needed to get out of there “Luke, wait” Before Penelope could walk to him, he was gone, and she was left there not knowing what to do of his confession.

The truth was her and Sam were in a great place, they were looking forward to start a life together, they had even discussed marriage, Julian loved him, she loved Taylor and Benji, Sam’s kids, everything seemed to fall into place with him.

The next months after that, Luke and Penelope barely spoke unless it was regarding Julian, the times where they would just spend weekends together with their son were long gone, Julian still spent a lot of time with his parents just separately, Penelope was starting to pack their stuff, she felt terrible and she wanted Luke to lash out at her, to tell her off, yell at her for taking Julian to another house, instead all Luke ever did was remain distant, she couldn’t blame him but she missed her best friend.

Penelope sighed “What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” Derek said, he had offered to help her packing the last stuff before she was out of the apartment.

“Do you think I’m making a mistake by moving in with Sam?” He frowned, not knowing exactly where that was coming from, she had seemed when she told him and Savannah the news.

“I think you should do what makes you happy, if-” Penelope didn’t let him finish his sentence.

“Do you think I should’ve given Luke and I a chance?” Derek’s eyebrows raised, he was surprised at her question.

“Why are you asking this?” Penelope bit her lip and then sat down on the floor, since there was no couch or chairs left, and proceeded to tell him what had happened a few months ago, as Derek listened he didn’t have it in him to be surprised by Luke’s feelings nor Penelope’s second guessing her decision.

“Look, baby girl” He started as he cleaned the tears falling on her cheeks “I still think you should do what makes you happy, and follow your heart, you shouldn’t do something because you feel obligated to, you know? Moving in with Sam because you already leased the house or give Luke a chance because he’s the father of your son” Derek wrapped an arm around her “There’s nothing more I want than to see you happy, whether is with Sam, Luke, only you and Jules, look, even if you wanna go back to what’s-his-name let’s go live in a farm guy?” She laughed through the tears “I want you to be happy and I’ll be there for you, ok?”

“Ok” She managed to say “Kevin, he was the one that wanted me us to go and live in a farm”

“Alright, well if you wanna go live in a farm I’m sure Julian will love all the free space to run around” They laughed and Derek kissed her forehead, hoping she’d follow his advice and go with whatever made her truly happy.

Penelope was meeting Emily for drinks, she entered the bar to see Emily already sitting there, she greeted her and they started to catch up, it had been a really long time since they last saw each other, once again, life making it complicated to hang out more often.

“So” Emily started “I don’t think I ever actually apologized about that one time” She felt embarrassed reminiscing her behaviour during that New Year’s.

“Come on, Em” Penelope waved her off “It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything”

“No, but I do, I was- we were going through a difficult time, JJ and I were going through the adoption process for Nick and we weren’t getting matched and there were a lot of setbacks, that’s why we didn’t tell any of you at the time but it was difficult for us and of course, JJ was way better than at handling everything and I just let out my frustration that time when it wasn’t my place to say anything, I was an asshole to you” Penelope placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t say that, Emily, we all snap sometimes, I’m sorry you were going through that but now you have Nick and he’s a great kid” Penelope smiled remembering the curly boy.

“I didn’t mean anything that I said, I mean, we did have our doubts but you proved it was possible to do what you did”

“Oh no, I actually think you were right, it’s a bit of a mess right now” Penelope looked away.

“I... Know, and even though the situation is not great right now, I’m sure you’ll get through it” Emily gave her a sympathetic smile and Penelope nodded “I gotta say one more thing though, I’ll never understand why you guys didn’t even try”

The blonde woman just shrugged, at that point neither did she “It’s just, we’ve been friends for half of our lives, it would’ve been, I don’t know, weird? We’ve seen each other at our worse and our best, he’s like always been there” As much as Penelope tried to convince herself it wouldn’t have worked out, she never actually did it.

“Babe, I don’t see how that’s bad” Emily commented taking a sip of her drink, her words echoed in Penelope’s head.

Luke opened the door and Julian immediately launched himself at him.

“Daddy!” He clung onto Luke’s neck while Penelope awkwardly stood there.

“Sorry I couldn’t pick him up tonight” Luke said, looking at Julian instead of her, he was still hurt but really trying to move on this time.

“Don’t worry, it’s ok” Luke expected to see her turn around and go back to her place but she remained there “I found this at my place, it’s your birthday present from last year, you never actually got it so I thought I should bring it” He saw the bag in her hands and it just reminded him of the day he had gotten his heart broken.

“Oh, Penelope, I appreciate it but I’m fine, I don’t need anything”

“Please, I insist” She offered it to him and Julian was fast take it.

“Open it, daddy!” He started to kick his legs so Luke would put him down.

“I’ll open it tomorrow, bud, it’s time for bed now” He could see Julian was not happy about it. 

“NO!” Julian dropped to the floor “Open it! Open it!” The terrible twos were not a joke, he started to throw kicks and Luke kneeled to his level.

“Jules, it’s time to go to bed, come on” He grabbed him in his arms.

“Open the pwesent” Luke sighed.

“I’ll make you a deal, we open it and then you go to bed” Julian seemed to calm.

“I’m gonna get going now, good night Jules, have sweet dreams, my love” She took a step to them and leaned to kiss Julian’s head, when she was about to step away she grabbed her sweater.

“Stay!” Penelope softly took his little hand and let herself free from his grasp.

“I can’t, I gotta go, baby” Julian started to cry.

“Maybe you can stay and help us with bedtime” Luke suggested, Penelope silently agreed.

They walked towards Julian’s bedroom and Penelope felt like an outsider, it had been a long time since she had walked inside Luke’s home, once they got there, she helped Julian to put on his PJ’s while Luke watched them and untuck his bed covers. 

“Pwesent!” Julian said once he was underneath his blankets, each of his parents sat on either side of the bed next to him.

Luke opened the bag and put out something that look like a binder? Photo album? ‘Luke + Jules + Pen’ was engraved on the cover, when he opened it, he saw it was a scrapbook, it had photos of him and Penelope when they first met back in college, ticket stubs of that time when Penelope was in different plays, from when all of the gang had gone to see the Yankees, Luke’s favorite baseball team, photos of them with their friends and then it was Julian’s first sonogram, photos of Penelope pregnant, photos of their baby shower, their first picture the three of them that Savannah had taken at the hospital, all of it was filled with memories.

Luke closed it abruptly, it was all too much for him “Alright, bud, it’s time for you to sleep, we’re picking up Roxy from the shelter tomorrow, remember?” A sleepy boy nodded and just when Penelope and Luke thought they had won, Julian spoke again.

“Mommy, stay!” Penelope tried her best to smile.

“I have to go to your other home, remember?” Luke noticed how Penelope’s voice faltered and decided to back her up.

“Julian, remember what I told you about your two houses? That only the most special little boys get two, so Mommy needs to go and take care of your other house”

“I want Mommy to stay!” He demanded, starting to cry again.

It took everything in Penelope not to tell him that he wanted to stay as well so she just held him and sang the lullaby Luke used to sing to him when he was a baby, it didn’t take long until he fell asleep, Penelope kissed his forehead and silently left the room with Luke behind her.

Before she could speak Luke beat her to it “Drive safe, I’ll take him to you on Sunday” He said and Penelope could only nod as she walked out of the door an to her car.

She sat there for a few minutes, not realizing tears were rolling down her cheeks, when she calmed down she started to drive home, it took her ten minutes to decide she was not going home, she made an u-turn to go back to Luke’s place.

She knocked, unsure what she was going to say but trusting it would be the right thing.

“Penelope? Did you forget something?” Luke asked, confused as to why she was back.

She walked right past him into his apartment “Remember when I asked you if you had met your person?” She said with tears in her eyes.

“Yes” He breathed out.

“We both said no” Penelope stated “Can you ask me if I’ve met my person, please?” Luke felt some sort of anger form in his chest.

“Why? So you can tell me it’s perfect Sam? I don’t under-”

“Please” She interrupted him “Please ask me”

“Have you met your person?”

“Yeah, I have, for a long time now, but I was an idiot and I didn’t realize it until just recently” She said through her sobs, Luke forgot how to breathe, playing her words over and over again “When I found your present and looked through it I realized it’s you, it has been you all along, Luke, you’re my person”

Luke didn’t waste no time and kissed her, feeling his heart being mend with every second that passed, when they pulled away, he asked “What about Sam?”

“He’s been out of the picture for months” She admitted and Luke resumed their kiss only to pull apart immediately.

“You’re my person, Penelope, always have, always will” He choked out.

“I love you, Luke” She caressed his face in her hands.

Luke closed her eyes, her words giving him a joy he didn’t knew existed “I love you too, Penelope” 

“So… Can I stay?” She chuckled through her tears.

“Only if you stay forever” Luke answered and took her in his arms, planning to make up for all the lost time where he wasn’t able to show her how much he loved her.

“Home, let me come home, home is wherever I’m with you” 

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

[stuffiwannaseeformyslef]

I saw your other ness head-canons on your art acc but do you have any other ones you haven’t already addressed? I really like your interpretation of him,, (you don’t have to if you don’t wanna ofc)

i have.... a whole lot... I can name a few (i assume you wanted just general headcanons? because i basically addressed most of the angst related ones in that long post hhd) but i really do have a whole lot, so if you want to hear more, i’ve probably got more i can elaborate on.. also! if you like my interpretation of nessie, i’ve been working on some fanfictions with my depictions of him hdh i’ve got a few appearance headcanons here as well! hope you don’t mind!  .he’s got freckles! i’ll drabble my hc of the twins here too, just for comparison. Ness has freckles all over in little spread out clumps, but they’re not that apparent, and only appear fully in harsh sunlight. compared to Ness, Lucas and Claus have fully apparent ones, but they have less, Claus having on his shoulders and from both cheeks and across the bridge of his nose, and lucas having only on the cheeks and shoulders. .I like to think Ness is either mute, or a kinda quiet kid. I think he’s generally closed regarding what he discloses to people. like.. I think he even doesn’t talk to his family about his issues. i always imagined him to just kinda cuddle up to his mom when he’s upset rather than ever speaking about it. i think Ness is kinda shy, but far from timid. i also think he’s quite expressive, but he doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve, becoming much more still faced about tougher emotions until he eventually breaks after a week, month, or year of bottling and sobs his heart out (it was probably mere days for the adventure though, thats some scary shit). .I actually.. think Ness and Claus (assuming this is post game claus) would be fantastic friends, despite a lot of people feeling otherwise. sure, it’d take them a while, just like with lucas and Ness, but those two have lots in common, and i think they could really be good friends for eachother. .Ness is 148cm’s in mother 2, but grows to 157cm at 16 years old.. .I feel like Ness plays guitar to calm himself down sometimes, but he usually does it alone in his room when he knows no one is around. if he’s particularly feeling sensitive or emotional, he’ll sing to himself as quietly as he can possibly manage. he isn’t amazing at singing, but he’s not terrible, he’s got a good, average singing voice. (i feel though that lucas and ness singing together would sound amazing...) .Ness has little psi markings on his fingertips that only appear under multiple conditions. (i’d think every born-psychic would have their own unique psi markings on their fingertips that match their psi patterns/aura. though non-borns, aka people who had potential for psi, but weren’t born with it, don’t have the markings until they’re older). conditions for the marking’s appearance regarding ness (i think the conditions are also unique to each respective psi user) is: overly repressed feelings (makes him nauseous and his hands burn up badly from the inside, plus if it’s really really bad, i feel like his eyes glow too), big emotions, embarrassment, and of course, psi usage. .those kids in the treehouse are a little baseball club! and Ness is their coach, even though he doesn’t get called that or understands that that’s his role. the kids really love him, and follow him to school sometimes. .ness is actually a very physically affectionate person, but he is well aware of peoples boundaries to a degree that he actually comes off as someone who hates affection. (don’t remember if i touched on this before) .ness just. radiates heat. always warm,,, .i feel like ness doodles! he’s not a serious artist, but he makes cute little doodles that are pretty good! .Ness is a very good big bro, always making sure Tracy is doing okay, and can come to him for help or comfort. he’s happy to hangout with her too, whether it’s sports, tea parties, video games, or her wanting to put a million hair clips in his hair.  .more of a fun scenario then a headcanon, but I always thought that whole thing where Paula and Ness followed that woman into the hotel room, was actually initiated by Paula. just because you play as Ness, doesn’t mean that realistically, he always leads, or every person is talking to him specifically or vice versa. I think paula would’ve kept her eyes peeled through all of threed, looking extremely hard for any suspicious activity, while Ness so far has had almost no sleep because of his newfound responsibility of healing others, and just kinda hangs around the trash after paula searches every speck of dust for a few hours. then, paula see’s the girl thinking “wow that’s suspicious as fuck!” grabs ness’ wrist and tells him to run with her. he does, not knowing whats going on, and the next thing he knows they’re surrounded. belch was like: “haha pretty woman make protagonist go brrrr” but was surprised he lured the girl instead, I think it’s a funny twist to what most people think of the scenario is all. aight, thats all i can think of from my many many headcanons atm, hope that sufficed anon!

[btsandvmin]

Collection of asks 2 - BTSandVMIN

I had to make a second one because the length of the first one was getting way too long. If you are curious about some of my older asks here is the link to my first collection post - Collection of asks - BTSandVMIN

I have this post because I feel some of the asks I answer are worth saving, for me personally, and perhaps for you as well. But I don’t want to put them all in my Masterpost where I want to keep it a bit more structured for my longer posts and analysis. So for asks that are more about answering specific questions or about general things or my feelings I will put them here.

Asks are written more in the moment than my usual posts, so they might be less accurate as it’s all mostly from the top of my head. The newest ones will actually be on top, and then they will get older going down the list. I’ll update it regularly as I answer more asks. :)

Look at jhope's interaction with maknae line

Sorry for spamming with asks

You're so right about how any ship can be possible if you focus on it

I reject any idea of a couple being pushed to protect another 

What do you think of vmin’s busan forehead kiss?

About tae changing the choreo of fake love

What do you think of that famous ji/kook trip together ?

"Friends" doesn't speak about a friendship to me and the title seems like a way to "hide" the true meaning. Thoughts?

I honestly do feel his "best" friend is only ever needed when it's convenient to him

When j/k wore matching shirts asked them something like are u guys dating Its so differnt from his rn to vmin

Looking at th and jm for what they are or represented to be their bond shouldn't be taken at face value. Just reminding that jealousy amongst bandmates do exist

Jimin kissed tae on the pretext of kissing tanny. tae blanked out for a few secs after that

Jin in Jimins Festa profile this yr called Tae his "Bf" and then the next word is "best friend"

I dont think vmin or any other ship in bts for that matter are in any form of relationship right now.

Kind of agree with vmin not spending much time together outside of work & things they do/say barely even give off that "possibly a couple" vibe in general

IF feelings are involved, who do you think fell first and why? 

You already said that you ship them, but do you think that they're real?

I found it kinda weird how jimin apparently "didn't know" 4 o'clock was inspired by him

Have u seen that one radio interview in the past Th openly called out jm for liking men? 

We never see them hangout tgt I mean we have seen ji/kook tgt more often and tae with his wooga squad

What did you think about jimin playing the video game using tae's acc while the latter looked from behind?

When tae posted 'lets keep going for a long time i only have u' they probably only knew e/o for about 2 yrs and now we also know that at that time they still argued and fought with e/o alot. Yet they felt so strongly for their frienship.

What are your thoughts about tae choosing " my time " to recommend it to a non army.

If we look at their personalities tae is more of introverted and shy these days while jimin is more outgoing and loud. But when it comes the them jimin is always the one who seems cautious

Is it my imagination or is Jimin VERY loud lately? I feel like the roles have somehow been reversed.

The timeline of the dumpling incident really confuses me. 

Why do i feel like vmin dont hangout outside of work anymore

Just read your ji/kook vs vmin post regarding festa and I agree. you can tell that jm gets very serious when it comes to tae

A possible sexual relationship between Jimin and Tae. I've seen subtle hints where this might be happening behind the scenes like the recent bang bang con

Whenever joon says stuff like 'what a nice friendship/bcoz he is your friend' vmin have a very neutral or blank face

When do you think their friendship turned into something more?

Did u see how tae coloured jimin's name on the soft board with purple. 

Jimin recently in this festa says jk is his soul brother

Nj nearly always tries to underplay vmin's bond.

Sweet Night: “Sharing my fragile truth That I still hope the door is open Door' 

I feel like jimin was reluctant to talk about the dumpling incident probably bcoz it involves him getting drunk?

Your opinion on the whole "that's smth a couple would do" "you two look like a couple" for ji/kook vs "it's cause he's your friend "

What ur opinion is on the new kdrama that is based on homosexuality. 

Tae has many a times mentioned wanting to have kids or wanting to be father.

Taehyung has always talked about having a family, children and wife etc. 

I personally feel the maknae line in general have been advised not to do lives alone tgt bcoz of the intense shipping

I spend hours reading your posts and I could never get tired of it

I have a doubt about vmin  recently V is so close to JK it seems like V avoiding jimin

Taehyung talked about the movie Call Me by Your Name and its soundtrack

I honestly like how unpopular vmin are.

Let's say JM and TH have other partners - do you think said partners would be okay with a whole song of vmin declaring each other as soulmates? 

In the end there is no moment that is unique to a ship. do you agree?

Some vlives are arranged by the company and sometimes members themselves when the find free time they go live. 

What was the point of making a decision tght to come on vlive tgh infront of the fan to then not do it?

It cant be the company stopping v and jm from doing a live can it? 

Do you the think the reason vmin dont do vlive is because taehyung's feelings are one sided?

Theory on a possible reason on why vmin has not gone to do a vlive on their own for so long?

On bon voyage 3 j hope mentions how v and jk were hugging each other in their sleep.

Ji/kook is obvious (ear nibble) and Tae reacting blank to Vmin moments

But why they dont have funny bro handshake like v/kook?

You are so delusional like seriously how do you function in real life

You know how vmin called eo soulmates. The term can also be taken in a platonic way too right

If there’s a real ship in bts, can you give me your opinion on who?

Tae kissing jimin's cheek after they won an award in some music show (About ship edits)

I think vmin is real. Can you do a Sweet night analysis because in my opion the song dosen't match with the drama

Why are you a Vmin shipper if you don't think Jimin is gay or at least bisexual? 

I don't blame V and Jimin for not doing Vlive together

You know that blurry picture of vmin in 2014?

Tae and jk seem like the members who are most non straight to u and also that jimin might be straight so then isnt it more possible for t**k***k to be the couple?

Do you think that vmin are straight?

Can you tell me what makes you think jk is not straight

Ppl connect sweet night and 4 o' clock with vmin After tae's live yesterday n i m also seeing some ppl being offended by it.

Why do I sense that Tae has more of crush on Jimin (and realized it) but Jimi is oblivious?

Will you still publish that long vmin and lgbt in korea analysis.

Even namjoon said they should go live to discuss about their song.

I dont really consider minjoon vlive as one they did themselves. it was mostly organised by the company

Maknae line avoid vlives and  its really weird that jimi would do it with rm but not tae

Shouldnt it be easy for them to go live tght than anyone else?

Tae is very reluctant or scared to do a vlive with jimin

In the past month when vmin did mention about the song they just made superficial comments

Hi 💙 do you write vmin fics?

I also feel that jm is nervous to talk about the song even though he said he will in the comeback show

If jimin doesn't go live today as well maybe we can get a vmin live?

Vmin antis say vmin are not friends irl and use the fact that they are never spotted hanging out offscreen as "proof"

Will you do a Vmin throwback - 2019?

Can we even be considered delulu anymore for thinking not all of this is a coincidence?

Sweet night doesn't really fit the couple relationship in the drama

What do you mean when you say 'not being delulu'?

I dont know why after listening to sweet night i feel very nervous?

Maybe the lyrics to SN are very well just about the drama/webtoon.

Do you think the songs lie and stigma are related ? 

Namjoon talking about Friends 2 - Making excuses

Namjoon talking about Friends 1 - Can’t write about them

About the “Hello my alien” line in Friends

Do you think they gone do fansing this period of promoting?

Jm said when he wants to make and gift a song if he finds someone he loves and he actually helped write n produce the melody of chingu

Omg Ive been crying over the vmin song lyrics ever since they came out.

Thoughts about the song and what you took out of it

Its not a light hearted thing to call each other soulmate

This kind of debunks the christmas song theory… i feel sad like they are commercialising their friendship

Jimin is partly involved in the making and it will be about Jimin and Tae’s bond

I fear that vmin will become the next larry 

Chrismats song, smile awards. Arent those awards previously decided and even the words written for them by the company?

I was wondering if you're going to write something about bv4 and all the vmin we got there

Do you think that vmin say they love each other truly or for fan service?

Recently i watched a vkook video to compare

Do you know how exactly vmin met?

Whenever I do get the chance to focus on Vmin it’s usully one of three things

At the airport Tae had his arm around Jimin's shoulder but removed it quickly when they arrived in front of the cameras.

I don’t care if people don’t ship Vmin romantically. But with Vmin doing things like this you can’t really blame us if we do.

I got a looooot of asks on the Christmas song and I will adress the ones I have left all in one go

The reaction in bv was probably cause he wants to visits there and jm got there first

Vmin talked about tannie and how they went to visit tannie at tae's parents house

Just do it how you feel comfortable, we are waiting for your analysis

What video is the gif you post with this : Jimin and V talking about going to the Sapporo snow festival and playing in the snow together 

This break was an opportunity for them to be around other friends and family so maybe they just wanted to spend this time apart

Do you really think vm are soulmates? Sometimes i feel like we might be over using this word for them 

Once again thank you for all the asks you send! And also sorry for not being able to keep up and answer them all. I’ll try to answer some old ones as well whenever I can, and I will keep adding some of them to this list. I hope you found something interesting. Thanks for reading!

[arachnidwithagun]

Repost, don’t reblog. Like it or not ships happen. Fill out this form to lay out your character’s romantic potential.

Bold what applies – Romantically interested in: men / women / nonbinary / doesn’t matter / none Sexually interested in: men / women / nonbinary / doesn’t matter / none Looking for: marriage / a relationship / hookups / casual dating Open to: marriage / a relationship / hookups / casual dating 

What hangups do they bring into a relationship (exes, repression, jealousy etc.)?: Oh, he has a huge part of his backstory that he can never seem to shake. It’s the reason he died, after all. This huge thing is a man by the name of Harold. He will often come up at random in my threads, especially in shippy ones because it’s a huge part of my Arackiss’s character. He literally died because of love and no matter how amazing his current S/O is, Harlod will always be in his heart and mind. It’s not something he wants to get rid of, either. That was his first love and he died with him in mind. This doesn’t mean he’s not romantically interested in a new partner, but it is something that might get brought up. Especially on Valentine’s Day.

What hangups do they bring to sex?: He usually only gets intimate with people he really loves. So there aren’t many. The worse one he might have is how insecure he is about his body in general.

What are they looking for in a partner?:  Mutual trust and respect. That’s all. He just wants to be loved, other than that.

Do they have a type? What is it?: It is very unclear if he has a type or not...it’s something he’s yet to figure out.

How would a relationship fit in with where they are in their life right now?: In a verse where he is single, he’s a very busy man with a busy schedule and he rarely gets sleep. He also has a bad drinking problem. It really all depends, he will make as much time as he can for the person he’s interested in and a relationship might actually be good for him. He needs someone to stand by him.

Describe their romantic history: He died because of love, firstly. He’s had both female and male partners but he’s had only one man he really, really loved. You guessed it: Harold. It’ll take a while for him to find another Harold, considering he was practically his perfect match. So even if we ship together, he might not be as into your muse as he was into Harold. It will take a long time for him to catch that many feels again. So far only @husky-boi has managed to get him to fall that hard, so good luck. Quick warning: Niss doesn’t fall easily, but when he does, he falls hard.

Would they consider a polyamorous relationship? Under what circumstances?: Sure, he would. As long as it’s consensual with all partners and they love each other, there’s respect and trust and they all have boundaries set with each other, he’s down.

Do they make a good partner?: Surprisingly? He makes a really good partner. He’s a little protective and worries a lot but he only had the best in mind for his partner. He loves to spoil and pamper his loved ones (romantically or otherwise) and he’s a hundred times sweeter to them than he is to others.

Do they seek out people who are good for them, or are they attracted to the wrong sort?: He tries to seek out people who are good for him the way Harold was. He has had his share of toxic relationships as sometimes it’s what he thinks he deserves. For example, @ask-mrradiodemon and I had a toxic ship between Al and Arackniss (on another acc.) where Niss just felt he needed someone and ended up being used. He knew he was being used, but he still thought it was all he was worth.

Finally, for the mun; describe your stance on shipping, if you like to do it and how, and what you’re willing to consider in a ship: I love shipping. I can stand to do just about any ship and be contented. However, sometimes- like in real life- relationships don’t work out and a ship must be dropped. As I mention in my rules page, Niss is very hard to ship with- as I said, he’s not one to fall easily. However, I’m willing to try anything out. If we’re mutuals, reach out to me about shipping and 9/10 times I will say yes. Whether or not Arackniss will agree isn’t guaranteed, heh...

Stole from: @banqbanqbaby​ as I am a bastard-

Tagging: @wine-addicted-archangel @ames-the-heart-broken anyone who wants to do it/I’ve already tagged in this post in my answers brebrfbwuif (Beck, I’m looking at you-)

[prkrc]

hey there demons! it me, sam! this is just parker’s same old intro edited with some updates and wanted / taken connections, so feel free to take a look if you’re interested! messaging me @ellvie is probably easiest!

DISCLAIMER: this is a sideblog so i might post stuff to the wrong acc sometimes js

so, this guy right here…riley ignatius parker-warrington…will throw hands if you call him anything other than parker. it’s what everyone calls him. you gotta be really special to call him riley and not immediately get decked for it. tbh most people probably think parker is his first name anyway so! moving on

parker was born to a wealthy family in a small but affluent village called alderley edge in cheshire, england. he’s the youngest of four sons so he has three older brothers.

his family, the parker-warringtons ( known more commonly as the warringtons ) are stupid rich. it hurts me to think about it askdh. they’re basically the british rockefellers. parker’s great x6 granddad started the family business back a couple centuries ago and nowadays they’ve got their hands in everything from business to architecture to real estate to education to oil…they own a lot of stuff. the warrington building in downtown london was completely made up just now is basically the rockefeller center of the uk. 

the family drama has been highly publicized in the uk & europe for longer than anyone can remember at this point, but not as much in america. 

anyway, parker spent his early years sheltered and pampered and homeschooled by tutors and nannies bc his parents never had time for him but it’s whatever he got over it really early on in life.

parker’s always been a huge troublemaker with a restless nature so his wealthy, uptight, lowkey shady af parents who are obsessed with the family’s image could never really deal with him and eventually decided to just ship him off to boarding schools all over europe, just one after the other after the other bc he kept getting kicked out lmao.

about the only thing he enjoyed about his childhood and schooling were his music lessons. he was taught to play piano, violin, and even the harp. other things like math and history and science didn’t come easily to him at all, but music? he was great at it and he’s always loved it. during his teen years while away at boarding school was when he first procured an electric guitar and learned to play. along with that, he also discovered punk music, aka the greatest thing in the entire fucking universe if you ask him. far as music goes, he’d found his calling in his early teenage years.

at school he was basically that rebellious kid in all the movies who wore doc martens with his prim & proper school uniform and carried around a pocket knife and cut class to go smoke while vandalizing school property and would absolutely fuck up some prissy pretty boy’s face just for looking at him the wrong way.

literally the only reason he actually graduated rather than flunking out was because his father was able to pull some strings aka bought his very last boarding school a whole new library wing. parker did actually consider running away a few times, but there was a part of him really reaaaaally deep down that actually enjoyed some aspects of school ( though he very strongly believes many education systems across the world need a serious overhaul and blahblahblah don’t ask him unless you want a lecture ). anyway, the moment he was done with school, he did finally skip out on…well, everything and everyone and ditched the country altogether, heading out first to seattle washington, then to los angeles, california, and then he finally settled in new york city when he was twenty years old, meaning that he’s lived in nyc for the last three years!

started his band, rabid porcupine, right after moving to the city. they’re a punk band, popular among the subculture and virtually unknown to everyone else. parker is the lead vocalist, guitarist, songwriter, overall face of the band but don’t get it twisted he could never go solo his whole band is important to him.

his parents have threatened to cut him off & disinherit him about a billion times but will probably never actually do it even though they see him as a huge disgrace to the family name. they call sometimes but he never picks up. if anybody asks he’d probably say that he hates his family but he honestly doesn’t. i don’t think he’s capable of hate lmao. he doesn’t like them and he’d rather stay away from them bc he and his family just do not get along, but at the end of the end of the day, v deep down he has like….a teeny tiny molecule of affection for them even though his family is 100% genuinely awful people

so, parker left nyc for a bit! even though it was only like a week ago in real time i wanna say he’s actually been gone for about two to three months maybe? idk but he went back to england in a rush, just kinda vanishing overnight as he tends to do.

he told no one where he was going or that he was even leaving at all. not even his roommate or…the person he’s very attached to, stas. he didn’t wanna tell anyone why he had to leave.

BUT WE’RE ALL GONNA FIND OUT RIGHT HERE AND NOW SURPRISE! his dad died. yikes. now they had a very…complicated relationship. parker hated his father and his father hated him. tbh his death wouldn’t have been enough for parker to go all the way back to england bc he fucking hates it there if it weren’t for the fact that his dad was pulling some fuck shit from the grave.

long story short, he left the family company to parker in his will. not the family, not his wife, not any of his other three sons. nope. the whole ass billion dollar company, every single subset, everything…was left to one riley ignatius parker-warrington.

naturally he was fucking furious. he hates the family business, he hates their company, he hates office work, and he hates knowing that his father only did it to spite him. he immediately attempted to get rid of the company. tried selling it, just straight up giving it away, even driving it into the ground lmao. just, anything to get it off of his hands and out of his responsibility but nothing has worked so far.

and that’s why he’s back in nyc! he wants a lawyer’s opinion so what i think parker is gonna do here? lowkey try to sneak into town, get some help from a lawyer he trusts and then leave without anyone else noticing or knowing that he was in town at all because he absolutely does not want to be here and he especially doesn’t wanna show his face. too bad for him!

lemme…stop? and just give you a few quick facts bc this is getting super long who’s even still reading this?

looks like he could kill you and could actually kill you

he hasn’t been home in like five years but he still has the heaviest most posh british accent you will ever hear in your life + he knows he’s fulfilling a stereotype here but he doesn’t care he fuckin loves tea

his three older brothers are named sebastian, nikolai, & rian. he doesn’t get along with any of them but he and rian he by far has the worst relationship with rian, his identical twin who’s a few minutes older. unlike most stereotypical twins they’ve literally never been in sync, have never gotten along and have probably beaten each other up before.

his family is big on modern day arranged marriages but you can miss parker with that bullshit he will date whoever he wants

that being said i think he’s probably…straight? idk tho & like who’s really straight anymore honestly

most people think that he’s a jerk bc he’s incredibly standoffish and temperamental but he’s actually…not that bad? like he’s sure he’s permanently grumpy but he also holds the door open for people and says thank you to janitors and probably helps old ladies across the street and would literally rather die than be rude to wait staff in a restaurant

seemingly very passionate about everything always openly expresses his emotions. he doesn’t…know how to hide them? he doesn’t know how to pretend like he doesn’t care?

adrenaline junkie, reckless af & likes to party but isn’t into hard drugs. he’s tried once or twice but just really isn’t a fan. he smokes & drinks & smokes weed sometimes but that’s it

very observant and good at reading people

basically the walking talking rl embodiment of the jerk with a heart of gold trope.

knows he’s not the easiest person to befriend but if you are his friend, then he’s gonna be loyal af, the realest ride or die of all time

however, he tends to take the tough love route when he’s trying to help someone out. like just bc you’re his friend he’s not gonna coddle you bc you’re upset he’s gonna tell you how to how to deal with your problems & emotions

which is funny bc lmao he’s angry af 1000% of the time. will throw hands anytime anywhere

so to the surprise as nobody he took up boxing as a kid and to this day it’s the only sport he cares about at all. he still boxes once or twice a week as a hobby & it’s probs pretty good for him tbh

also took a lot of music lessons back in the day. he’s actually a very talented pianist who probably could’ve gone on to play professionally if he stuck with it but nah. he likes the guitar. you’ll probs never catch him playing the piano which is a shame bc he honestly is a beautiful pianist :/

worked as an auto mechanic before he committed to his band full time but highkey misses it sometimes. he still likes cars & absolutely loves motorcycles, will talk about them all day with you if you want.

he has a motorcycle which pretty much built it himself from scratch and it’s just…it’s literally his child ok he will freak if you so much as lay a hand on his motorcycle ok /f r e a k/ like don’t even look at it the wrong way

feminist af

parker is grumpy and angry and standoffish but look he really is and really tries to be a decent guy. anyone who knows him well would see that very clearly and honestly, that’s probably why they stick around even though he can be difficult.

CONNECTIONS

family

future step sibling - genesis iver

maternal cousin, don’t get along - open.

paternal cousin, basically the only family member he likes - ingrid larson

romantic

ex girlfriend / highkey in love - anastasia sangster

ex on good terms - open.

ex on bad terms - open.

former toxic on / off relationship - open.

fwb - maia kauri.

former fwb - open.

platonic

best friend / ride or die - mason grey

roommate - open. please check the main for info on this wc!

close friends - reese monroe, kennedy drakos, isla thompson, open to more.

friends -  warren daily, marnie almeida, sullivan ramsey, alexandra blakely, cameron jones, open to more.

unlikely friends - wren daily, open to more.

frenemies - rosalind cox, jake carver, open to more.

attempted good influence - logan van kamp

workout buddy - willow sparks

negative

enemies - lukas donovan, open to several. parker is a goblin so he could’ve pissed someone off for many reasons

ex friends - jay weston, open to more.

doesn’t like / trust - lex sinclair

since this is officially a novel i think it’s time for me to sTOP LMAO. i have no specific wc in mind but i’d love to plot so please feel free to message me if you’re interested! as always i’m super excited to plot and write with everyone!

[riskeith]

i couldn’t stop smiling reading your last message i’m literally so happy atm. you’re so cute and i’m SO happy. i reread it three times and giggled so loud my brother asked why i was laughing... 🥺 he’s in the next freaking room 🥺

sappiness aside: YES!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE? i wish i could give my luck to you as you deserve it much more ): it’s true but it’s still important if you wanna do well in combat sadly haha dhdydbjdnd like you said it’s very inconvenient to have a unbalanced team but i decided that i’m just gonna switch around with the characters i have when it’s needed yk? they’re all mostly around the same levels so it works fine rn.. or it will until i have to focus on who i want to focus on ascending when i get to higher levels bc payments and materials and all.. sigh there’s so much to think about with too many cute characters... anyway how many rolls have you done since you started playing? do you remember?

OH???? is it easier on pc? i’ve always enjoyed smaller consoles tbh (like switch or even phone) bc it’s easier to focus so it wasn’t that difficult for me. but like you said it might just be a ‘getting used to it’ thing. also now that you’ve seen both; which differences are there in the game? are you gonna have two different accs?

i did restart it from the first ep!!! i figured i might as well get the ~full~ experience. it’s been a while too so it’s like a new experience but not rly? it’s like traveling back to your home country and you’re like wow... i belong here even if i’m not here all the time dhsjsjdhfh bad example but you know what i mean?i’ll keep you updated! rn i’m at training camp part of s1 and it’s great!!! just having a blast tbh. needed this especially now that school is back... :(

i guess we are talking about voltron in 20fucking21. i don’t know if i love that for us or not.... (our honeymoon can be whenever you want babe pick a date and i’m There 😏)

pls unrequited love is soo good. it hurts but it’s good too? haha, maybe if one has experiences with it it just hits different yk? but i’m with you—watching voltron i always always had the headcanon that keith first started to feel smth for lance in the ‘we did it’ scene and actually thought ‘i’m in love’ during the black lion scene. like the proof is all there... s8 and the sunset scene just proves his longlasting feelings nobody can tell me otherwise. keith is the type to cherish the people he loves a lot because he barely has anyone and that means putting their happiness above anything else and lance’s happiness was allura for a while and he just... accepted that despite yearning . god . i always think about is bittersweet smile while having his speech. it’s like; i know that you’re great and you should know that you’re great too and if she can’t see it she doesn’t deserve you.

you freaking out over the leave the math to pidge scene... losing my fucking mind. girl they’re literally in love fuckinf crying 😭😭😭😭😭 they depend on each other SO much like the show runners always push the ‘hunk and lance bffs’ agenda ok sure but in the show hunk was never there for lance the same way keith was. they just eased each other’s anxieties without having any expectations on each other at all? yet they surpassed all of them. the other was just.. there. always. remember the ‘we all miss shiro’ scene too???? the entire team looked at lance and wanted him to step up!!!!!! like HELLO??????? and the second lance spoke keith just calmed down... kill me now. if that doesn’t show much trust and appriciation and respect there was between them idk what does. and the fact that the others know that despite their differences they still need each other just..... yeah. *cries*

YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD. i get you tho klance is just... comfort ship but the ship that leaves you depressed too. i’m sure you could still write them perfectly but i’m absolutely in no way pressuring you at all you truly don’t have to if you can’t. i know how hard it can be to write when the motivation is just not there... :/ anyway idk what i’d prompt i just love your fics babe hsjdhdjdjdk. that’s so boring of me to say help but everything you write i love so.. surprise me? i can’t believe you have a final klance fic tho that sounds so sad.... ): i’m curious what it’s about but maybe it’s better to keep it hush hush.. hm?

i hope you’ve slept well!! you make me so happy!! kisses! xxxxxx

FHSJFKDS that makes /me/ so happy to hear!!! i was sitting on my bed smiling like a FOOL reading this ahahahaha. and soz to your brother but what can i say 🤪🤪

nooooo im so glad you got a 5 star already pls it’s fine im just gonna use all my primogems on xiao banner and it’ll end up okay fhskjdfds. yeah just switching charas in when needed totally works too! it’s just annoying when you accidentally get caught up in combat and it’s just ‘oop im level 1 against level 50′ AHAH. (tho i guess you won’t run into that issue yet?) honestly yeah there’s so much to do with the characters like ascending, constellations, talents, weapons, it’s just like.. what do i do first.... and who..... afhdskjfhsjf sometimes i just want to use character bc pretty and that should be enough 😔

hmmmm for the character event banner I believe i’m at 60 or 70 rn? so i’m reaaaally close to pity which is why when xiao comes 🙏🙏🙏 and for the standard banner i have no idea, maybe 40? so yeahhhh LOL... i keep saying this (and i better not be jinxing it BUT) im hoping it’ll all pay off...... i hope it’s all been building up for xiao... c6 xiao.. come home FHDKSJHDS

i definitely prefer it on PC! controls aside i just like the bigger screen tbh (my laptop is 15″). mostly the differences are the controls/buttons! since you can’t hold down multiple buttons at once on mobile, they’ve got more to cover all the functions (pc doesn’t have an extra dash button, we just right click or press shift; if we’re in the air i think one of the buttons turns into the drop down/plunge, rather than showing like 3 on mobile? i can’t remember precisely but yeahhh; there’s also the joystick on the left side of the screen on mobile that obviously isn’t there on pc bc we have the keyboard. it’s also harder to move the camera around whilst doing things on mobile i feel?) 

and nah i don’t think i’ll make another acc, esp since i’ve gotten so far into game already but i did definitely think about it as a possibility ahahah (bc of my bad luck... i was wondering if i did a reroll (second) acc i might be able to get diluc FJKHSKDFS)

omg it feels like coming home what a good description 😩😩 haikyuu is just such a fun warm experience! legit so comforting and light-hearted but also get deep when it needs to be. oh yes training camp <33 gosh they were so young then :’) HAHAAH. and noooooo school has started up for you again? rip i wish you the best of luck 😔💪

maybe 2k21 is the year of revisiting old things...... god voltron ended in 2018 can you BELIEVE that (😏😏😏 i was gonna mention playing genshin co-op together (even back when you first started) HAAHAH but i assume you play in europe server? im asia rip 😥)

WE DID IT WE ARE A GOOD TEAM!! THE FUCKING PURPLE AROUND THEM!!!! THE SMILEEEE OH MY GOD THE BONDING MOMENT THE. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk every time you mentioned a single line or scene im just. all the memories come flooding back fhdsfkhsdjf. hang on a second.. they are red and blue.... the scene was purple... surely i knew this back then but im thinking about it now and?????/ oh my god

the sunset scene!!!!!!!!!! that is Peak pining keith unrequited love and pain scene... my goodness. “that means putting their happiness above anything else” NOOOOOOOOOOO you are so right tho 😭😭😭😭😭 please keith deserves the univerise <333 :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( the fact that lance seeked him out for that too.. just like old times.. “you can sure be a hard guy to find when you wanna be huh” the way i still remember that ugh they really were my everything 😔

YES!! like they pushed the whole lance+hunk+pidge thing but then in the actual show had hunk+pidge treat lance like shit and belittle him so often?? like ?????????? (once again where fanon saves us 😩) and oh my god yeah.. when everyone turned to him and lance like walked up to keith and then said all that.. we actually had so many moments?? god. *cries with you*

speaking of shiro.. s06e05 the black paladins!!! “shiro.. please.. you’re my brother.. i love you..” “just let go, keith” 😭😭 keith suffered so much AND FOR WHAT my god i miss him so much oh no

FSHFKJDS “surprise me” the only reason im asking is bc i have no ideas!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i shall think.. (and if you want to think and help me out too.. 👐) & i’ve actually posted about that final fic a lot! LMAO that’s how you know i know i’m never gonna finish fdskhfksjd but in case you do wanna see, here are some links: one, two, three

thank you!! i stayed up to 4am like an idiot LOL but i swear today.... and same 😭 im so so happy to have met you 🥰❣ muah! xoxoxox

[seungcheolrk]

● SPHERE NOVEMBER EVALUATION: INTERROGATION !

NOVEMBER 30TH, 2017 A MOCK INTERVIEW

he’s almost embarrassed to admit how nervous he is for the end of the month— perhaps more so than he has been for an evaluation in a long time, if ever. after all, it’s no secret that talking is not seungcheol’s forte. 

it has to be said, however, that amongst all the nerves is a building excitement. the particularly appropriate challenge for this month’s stressful final day only serves as a reminder of what’s to come — endless grilling from the public, perfecting answers to questions he should never have to expect and, thus, of course, debut. momentarily, his mind wanders to his million curiosities about how it’ll all unfold, but he doesn’t allow it to stray too far, since they’re about to start and seungcheol already knows that actually listening is the most important part of an interview. 

his coach makes himself comfortable in the seat opposite him, prepared with questions hidden to seungcheol’s eye. ( though, admittedly, as tempting as it might be, seungcheol is far too scared of being caught to have even tried sneaking a peek. ) anything could be written on those papers, and whilst seungcheol doesn’t think he’s ever done anything to be challenged on in an unanswerable question, it doesn’t hurt to anticipate the worst. he’ll either get what he expected or be pleasantly surprised to be spared; isn’t that foolproof? he supposes he’ll find out. 

“please introduce yourself.” 

easy enough, he thinks. “h-hello! I’m s.coups, o-one of convex’s m-main rappers.” he hesitates to playfully add ‘dancing black hole’, but quickly decides against it. it’s difficult to get his tone across when he’s stumbling over his words like this and he’d rather not be misinterpreted. still, he knows he can’t leave it at that — it’s far too plain, tells the coach nothing about him as a person or a performer. he inwardly cringes as he considers his trainee title as a last resort after he’s left too long of a pause between answers, but the moment has passed before he can think of anything else. 

“we hear you’re ‘sphere’s scaredy cat’. where did this come from?” 

he supposes it’s wishful thinking to think he’ll ever escape it. he doesn’t mind it too much; after all, he gave himself the name. he just doesn’t want it to be his only identity after debut. he’s much more than a scaredy cat, really. “I get st-startled v-very easily.” he breathes out a weak chuckle. “l-loud noises, mostly, so y-you can imagine w-what it’s l-like for me living in a d-dorm of th-thirteen.” speculation, of course, but he doesn’t think it’ll be far off the truth. 

“it’s becoming expected now for rappers to write their own lyrics. you don’t. why?” 

he sucks in a deep breath. “for a long time, I’ve been p-passionate about making rap more acc-accessible to all. I w-want to rid the industry of th-this idea that you ha-have you have an extensive b-background in underground r-rapping to be a rapper. o-of course, if you h-have that, that’s great, b-b-b-but— I think it discourages a lot of y-young people from pursuing rap.” his eyes widen in panic, wondering if he’s perhaps talking too much or even sounding judgemental to those who have that experience under their belt. of course, he doesn’t mean any harm by his comments; he can’t help that his own experiences with underground rappers has so often been sour. “I want to be a g-great idol rapper, so I c-can inspire mo-more future idols to feel c-confident in their skills.”

“we heard that you sang for your audition, though. if rap is so important to you, why did you sing?” 

“singing is important to me, too.” he answers evenly, the first sentence to come out free of trembles. maybe it’s because it feels like an attack, like he can’t be passionate about more than one thing, like he’s being accused of being unfocused, indecisive. “I’m v-versatile musically. rap is my f-focus, but I have a lot of tr-tricks up my sleeve I h-hope to show more as time passes. at the time, I had o-only singing publicly for a f-few months, so it fe-felt right to h-honour that new e-era of my life.” 

“you also sing monthly on your youtube channel, right? can you tell us more about that? we’re all curious who WZ is.” 

he laughs heartily, a soft pink dusting his cheeks. he wonders if they truly feel as if they’re catching him out here; as if he’s going to stumble ( not too much of a stretch to believe ) over an excuse for ‘WZ’s identity, but the real truth is— “WZ is convex’s shortest lead dancer, lee jihoon!” it’s rather noticeable how his stutter drops immediately at the mention of his best friend, and even more obvious how his features light up and his shoulders relax. his hands hidden under the table have stopped rubbing against one another, instead animatedly gesturing as he speaks. “we share a love for gfriend’s music, so I decided to dedicate the first cover of my monthly project to him. it’s also one of the two videos I showed him when I told him about the channel and my past with singing, so it has a lot of sentimental value.” his eyes curve as he pauses for a few beats. “my monthly project started as a way to ensure I uploaded semi-regularly on that channel,” and a way to keep sane through the rollercoaster that was 2016, he bites his tongue, “but it’s also now a testament to my growth both musically and personally over the past— wow, almost two years. you can see how I’ve matured from the early days, writing out raps to avoid bringing my two worlds together, to now. there’s so much more vibrancy in my covers now, even if I do have to record them late at night after training.” he chuckles, running a hand through his hair, hoping his blush isn’t too obvious. 

“speaking of jihoon, you two seem to be close. you’ve both posted about each other on instagram and you speak very fondly of him.” 

“jihoon and I have been best friends for almost four years. we’re— kind of opposites in a lot of ways and that’s why we work so well together. jihoon’s helped me through a lot, and he’s helped me to get closer with the other convex boys, whether he realises it or not.” he has a proud grin on his gentle features as he thinks to the endless encouragement the younger gives him, the unconditional support and patience. he nods softly. “it’s through his friendship that I’ve grown more confident in myself and learnt to take risks. where he is brave, I am cowardly, and where I am gentle, he can be unintentionally sharp. he has an attention to detail I don’t, and I have a nagging voice he sometimes needs. we’re always helping one another grow to be better and better versions of ourselves.” he hums quietly. “I have lots to learn from every member of convex; charisma from hyun, dance from the performance unit—” he pales, realising he’d uttered the word he’d been trying to avoid. 

“it’s no secret that dance isn’t your strong point. in a predebut performance in july, you fell a lot. do you think you’ve improved since then?” 

they really don’t hold back, he thinks, blinking once, twice, before he snaps back to reality. july is still a month he doesn’t really enjoy looking back on, and that much must be obvious, or he doubts they’d have honed in on it specifically. “I d-definitely still have a long way to go,” he admits, “but it’s something my interest in is growing in ra-rapidly. I’ve been working on it a lot recently, so please anticipate my next stage! you’ll see!” he smiles brightly, sighing inwardly in relief. 

“you didn’t take the college entrance exams, correct? so if you weren’t an idol, what would you be doing?” 

“music.” he answers immediately, not a moment of hesitation. “being an idol is the path th-through music that I want more than anything, but it’s not the only path. I have an interest in classical music, too, and a particularly strong interest in movie scores. my family also own a music store, so I would find a way to be part of music somehow.” he nods, adding quietly, “it’s my destiny.” 

“why do you think you deserve to debut?” 

“hard work, dedication and passion; just like everyone else. everyone deserves to debut if their heart is in it.” it’s probably not the answer he should be giving. maybe he should be selling himself, talking about how he alone has worked hard and how baek jiyoung deems him ready and he feels it in his bones, too, that this is the right time, but it’s not in his nature. he knows idols are supposed to lie from time to time— white lies for the sake of image aren’t foreign to him, but had he or had he not worked so hard to rid himself of that? to be honest? he doesn’t think he has a personality that’s particularly un-idol-friendly, so maybe he’s reasonably safe. maybe his white lies can be about ideal types and how easy he is to wake up in the morning. we’ll see, he thinks. 

“finally, what are your goals for the future? do you want to have a solo career on the side one day? perhaps acting or modelling? radio hosting?” 

“my only goal is to continue to better myself for fans and for the other boys; to be the best performer I can each and every time I step on stage, and never to give up or falter. I want to help convex grow to being a highly respected name; a group that is known for their charms and performance skills. anything beyond that, solo activities, modelling contracts, for myself alone are bonuses.” still, he laughs softly as he adds, “that being said, I’d really love to go on king of masked singer, or something similar, one day.” 

once he’s finished talking and the coach clicks the lid shut on his pen, he breathes a sigh of relief. he doesn’t doubt that he’ll launch into a full analysis of his performance in a few minutes, once he’s organised his criticisms into a more natural order, but for now, he can’t say he doesn’t expect the obvious, “you definitely need to work on that stutter,” that fills the stifling silence. 

“I’m w-w-working on it.” 

the coach doesn’t make eye contact as he adds, “and to think you considered yourself a contender as a leader with it.” he bites his bottom lip nervously, hands returning to rubbing against one another under the table. it’s not a statement he’s undeserving of and perhaps that’s why it stings so much more than he expects at first, digging into his confidence and dragging it into the ground. he wants to argue, clarify that he didn’t explicitly name himself for it, he simply laid everything on the table, said he’d do anything because he would— if it meant pleasing everyone, he’d do it— but it’s not worth it. he has to develop a thick skin, anyway, right? then comments like this ( and worse ) won’t hurt so much after debut. 

he can see it now: convex’s black hole, convex’s unlucky number 13. he chews through the skin.

his pride was fun while it lasted, at least.