#and by now idek what's which xD

[divinekangaroo]

Suddenly realising while rubbing down a lamb roast with oil and salt exactly where my Alfie fic went astray

[call-me-chips]

Long vent warning 🙃

So if you came here for my typical carefree content, don't feel forced to read this at all :)

Ik I won't care if you do or don't, but I just need to get this to someone

I see a lot of people talking about having no friends and having bad friends, and both are really bad and I'm not trying to put down anyone's experiences, but I feel like there's a different kind of hurt when your friends just don't like you. Like, they're good people, but they just don't like you.

Like, I have this one friend (J) where, he's the closest thing I have to a best friend (aka, we see each other once a week and seem to enjoy each other's company), but I really don't think J likes me

He always has an excuse for not hanging out. Always. My sibling and I wanted to go to a comic con and invited J and his girlfriend, K. He mentioned a few weeks before that he might not be able to go because he might have to babysit a child or something. Closer to the con, J said that he, infact, wouldn't have to watch the child, which we were happy about, but then immediately he said that he "wasn't allowed" to go to this con. The reason he gave was "My dad thinks comic cons are cults." Even though J's been to several cons, one of which was in the US (We're Canadian).

And just yesterday a group I was going to had a Halloween night, and J promised he would go. We all made plans to be there, but the night of, I texted him and asked him if he was coming, to which he responded with "I'm not allowed", even though he's at the age where that shouldn't matter at all

I asked him why, and he never got back.

Everything I want to do, everything we try to plan, he's got a reason to not go.

He says he likes me and likes hanging out with me, but I don't believe it. Every excuse he uses is bullshit.

And it really sucks because I truly thought he'd be a friend that sticks around. Every friend I've ever had has left the moment I got too close.

And it's not like I can easily make friends, as I've never gone to school and I'm not in college

My parents keep scolding me about how I have no friends and that "God designed people to need other people" and that I "can't live life alone", but I don't know how the fuck they just expect me to summon new ones.

I've exhausted all groups I'm in of potential friends. And it's not like I don't try to make friends. I've been rejected dozens of times

But I know I'm just about ready to stop reaching out to J. I'll just stop asking if he wants to do anything and see if he initiates anything. When he doesn't, at least I'll know for sure that he doesn't really like me xD

Slightly different topic, but I really feel like I can't ever open up to anyone (which is why I rant to strangers on the internet). Literally everyone I've opened up to has either left me or betrayed me with it

I shared my struggles with a licensed therapist, and she made me feel like my feelings were nothing. She told me it was a phase and refused to hear any more

I shared one of my phobias in a trusted friend group chat, and one of the dudes (W) sent me a gif of it, have me the worst panic attack I've ever had, and then W called me sensitive when I complained about what he did (I was crying non stop for 30 mins, couldn't calm down completely for the next couple days, and got triggered my a simple household item that has NEVER triggered me before. I mean like, I saw this simple thing, froze in place, started hyperventilating, and nearly had another panic attack)

And there are a few other examples, but the worst one is when I opened up to my best friend at the time (N). I opened up, shared my story, cried in front of her. She left me the following week. N suddenly started talking to her other friend more and I could barely get a moment alone with her anymore. We barely talk now

I'm just tired of people. Tired of trying. Idek what I'm supposed to do at this point. I only rant to strangers cuz it's a lot less painful if someone online unfollows you than if a friend leaves you

Anyway I think that's enough for right now, I got pretty carried away 😅

If you read all this, here's a cookie :3 🍪

[lazorbeanz]

Why do you personally ship, like, or appreciate Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy? What’s your favorite moment between the two?

Why do I ship Sonamy?

Okay, ima admit it..for someone who is a diehard sonamy fan, and thinks about AND ONLY about them literally every waking second, I can not think of ONE reason why I ship them to begin with….

“So you just ship them for basically no reason WHY?!” Pretty much 😅

And I’ve seen so many other people give their really good reasons and opinions on why they ship sonamy, and I full on agree with ‘em, but as for myself, I rack up nothing…and it’s my favourite ship too I mean come onnn TwT

I’ve also had my sister ask me this same question not long ago, and all I could do was just sit there and think “Damn your life almost revolves around these 2 HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE AN ANSWER?!” I constantly beat myself up for this because I know I should 😭

And I mean, stuff like being the dynamic duo that they are, (whether in battle or not) their attitude and affection for each other evolving over time, respecting the other’s wants and needs, respecting boundaries (kinda the same thing tbh lol) , enjoying each others company, and just how the whole idea of sonamy has turned from what some people may see as “toxic” or “forced” (that might be the better word for it) from early 2000s media, to something more laid back and healthy like recent media because of all the character development over the years… etc, etc…are all fantastic reasons, and even reasons I would now apply as to why I love the ship even more…BUT they’re not the reasons I began to ship them in the first place, because these things I NEVER took into consideration when I starting doing so.

To put a long story short, I just saw pink and blue hedgies and was like, “ooooh I sense chemistry”

I feel like I could be going no where with all this. But all I’m tryna say is that I LIKE sonamy simply because of who they are…just a speedy blue boi and his hammer-wielding pink girlie. I APPRECIATE them solely because of their existence, especially in my life. They are like- one of the few things I ever look forward to these days. I SHIP them because unlike any other ship that has sonic or amy in it, sonamy just… “works” (I don’t know how to explain it but you know what I mean right??) And despite not being canon, (YET! 😏) they have got to be the closest ship to becoming canon (besides vectilla) ..unless I’m just biased :p

What got me into Sonamy?

Well, I did kinda just answer this in the previous question lol but I have to elaborate!

So yeah it started off with just seeing them 2 together and thought “I like where this is going hehe” tho tbh it never really went anywhere…because I was watching Sonic Boom at the time XD, the first piece of Sonic media I consumed since regaining an interest in the franchise. AND WE ARE NOT going back to like 2015 or 16 when I first discovered Sonic…idek what I did regarding shipping back then…I think I like shipped blaze and shadow or something OH LAWD-

Also to think that those short lived Sonamy moments in Boom didn’t even bother me in the slightest?! Present me is disgusted by such lack of interest or care! 😫

Okay okay I’m straying from the question, I’m sorry!!

There are a few things that got me hooked on Sonamy. First was definitely the tv series’. Boom, Prime and X all had adorable and wholesome moments that I could’ve almost died of cuteness from! Some of it was also hilarious too. In Sonic boom for instance, sonic and Amy would fight like a married couple lololol

Another thing (and this was the game changer) was the fanart and animatics. These became the addiction for me; one comic would lead to me reading another, which lead me to read another and so on. Or I’d find an animatic on YT and watch that and then begin scavenging trying to find more animatics to feed these cravings of sonamy I was beginning to gain all of a sudden.

And it just got worse and worse to the point I practically need a daily dose of Sonamy or I just might go feral

But I mean, how could I not?! YOU GUYS ARE SO GOSH DARN TALENTED AKJDJSJDND

Sadly now my food hath runneth dry over the months…so if any of u like come across anything sonamy pls don’t hesitate to tag me or send it to me pls I need it ajhshsjs

On top of all that, came the brainrot. My growing love for this ship and all the incredible media really sent me into a serious Sonamy delulu era. Literally almost ANYTHING can send me into deep thoughts about those 2, no kidding. I literally planned out in my head an entire story of them a couple days ago. Sometimes it’s a head canon or 2, other times just something extremely wholesome I’ll imagine them do and I’ll be deceased. Those rats live in my head rent free omg-

As I said, ANYTHING can trigger this brainrot; a song, a scene, a quote, a random object…you name it, I’ll come up with a Sonamy headcanon in relation to it.

I can’t also forget other sonic media that also boosted it like game cutscenes and IDW. Lately IDW has been CARRYING it for me with the little Sonamy moments like in the 900th adventure, #67 and other tidbits I’d find in former issues. The amount of frames I’ve seen of them hugging warms my heart waaa🥺🥺

Overall, this fandom has really impacted me and my love for Sonamy. (and sonic in general) all the things I’ve learnt and discovered have made me love them all the more because of it. My life has almost become an Sonamy aesthetic now…I am NOT joking when I tell you my PJs are Sonamy coded, and that was hardly intentional…🤣

Favourite Sonamy moment?

Arrghhh why just one?? Pretty much ANY moment involving those 2 cotton candy hedgies are bound to be my favourite!

Totally not saying this cuz I can’t pick a favourite *cough cough*

Take this, it’s the only Sonamy image I really have in my photo album rn.. (I should be in jail for this)

Its one of my favs so it counts :)

Woowee that just about covers it! Now you know all about my weird and wonderweird love for my favourite ship :D 🩷💙

[jupitergalactica]

𝔒𝔥 𝔟𝔞𝔟𝔶 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡!

= = =

About me:

!! I might be offline more often than usual now that I have an incredible boyfriend, who’s a big big BIG priority of mines at the moment :3 I’ll still try to stay relevant and give y’all content every now and then tho xD !!

• Y'all can call me Jupiter / Juju. :3

• Pronouns are she / they

• I'm not American

• I'm a teenager / minor. I don't mind people older than 18 following my account or interacting with my posts, I just won't accept any friend requests with that knowledge for safety purposes.

• Certified Patrick Stump Fangirl™

• I have ADHD so plz be patient with me :]

• And plz don't be alarmed if I don't respond to your asks or messages right away, I somehow managed to be so socially awkward to the point where I struggle to converse online??? Idek just roll with it-

= = =

Music stuff I love!

My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Pre-split Panic!, Twenty One Pilots, Green Day, Metric, Linkin Park, Weezer, Pencey Prep, Three Days Grace, Los Campesinos!, The Smashing Pumpkins, Chappell Roan, David Bowie, etc.

= = =

What do I like:

• My top three albums of all time are The Black Parade - MCR, Folie A Deux - FOB, and Hybrid Theory - Linkin Park. (Although that doesn't mean that I like ONLY those albums lmao)

• Playing guitar

• Occasional shitty doodling xD

• Making memes on Picsart

• ARCANE ARGHHHHHHHH

• Metal Family!!!

• Scott Pilgrim

• Transformers

• Reposting MCR clips that I find funny which has completely took over my account for some reason

• Making somewhat funny clips with Capcut

• Sugar cookies

• Becoming friends with other fellow emos! :D Don't hesitate to message me if you're interested! (Although again, I most likely won't reply to someone over eighteen for safety reasons)

= = =

DISCLAIMERS:

All my meme posts are satire. Hence the frequent tags #/satire. I make those on a whim when I’m in a silly mood, and for the love of god, I do NOT think about Gerard Way giving birth on a daily basis. 😭 I’m just a pretty odd (PANIC REFERENCE?1?!1?1) teenage girl okay??? just thought I’d address this b4 someone thinks I’m being serious!

= = =

~ 𝔍𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔯

[cazador-rp]

it has been a long time since I last role-played (literally years) and I used to do it on Twitter. My question is how does it work on Tumblr? Is the rp in the dms or public via this question box or what?

Thank you if you answer

🦇❤️

Hi! 💞 as far as I've seen most roleplay here on Tumblr happen in public via ask box, you send/get sent any type of roleplay prompt or start of conversation (there are blogs who post rp memes and starters for people to reblog so that others can choose a prompt to send from the list, but it's not always required to wait for a prompt list, you can also send/get prompts and starters without having reblogged a post beforehand) and after the answer to that ask the roleplay moves forward through reblogs

Example: you send me an ask saying "Hi" and I answer to that ask with "Hello", at that point if you want to continue the rp you reblog my answer with your own continuation like "How are you", after which I reblog yours with my own continuation and so on and so forth for as long as we want

If a thread happens to get too long after a while (something that might happen, I once had an rp thread go on for months on another rp blog of mine, it was a monster of a thread) you can also make a new post starting with a "Continuation from" or something along those lines (personally I love to use, "Previously on [Name blog/Title rp thread]" but everyone uses what they prefer) with a link to the previous thread so that it starts anew and it's not too long anymore, and of course you can do that as many times as it's needed

As for roleplaying in private in the dms, to me personally it happened only once. The other blog wanted to try out some triggering themes but didn't want to write those things where everyone else could read them so we ended up roleplaying in my dms

I honestly have no idea if it's a common thing or not, but as someone who grew up roleplaying on F*ceb*ok where most rps happened in private chats (some did happen on public posts but no one wanted to risk posting things that might get reported/banned, especially with the group I used to be in where we would often indulge in dark themes, heavy angst, explicit torture and sometimes even NSFW roleplay between our characters) it's not that weird to me so usually it depends on what my roleplay partner prefers

It's very rare for me to feel embarassed or anxious about roleplaying something so I'm always ok with public rp (and yes, even public NSFW rp, though usually I put those kind of things under the read more thing)

Other than that I guess it can change from person to person, maybe some have a preference for private rp and others for public rp, I've seen some who only accept asks from mutuals and keep anon off, but usually each blog has their own rules posted for those things so it's easy to know

I've also noticed two different ways to divide between muse and mun, some people use the "/" when talking as the mun (ex, *Character does/says something* /Omg this was so fun to write XD <- second part is the mun and not the character, usually put a couple of empty lines under the rp) while others use tags (ex, *Character does/says something* *down in the tags #omfg I can't believe he did that #this was so fun to write tho #your answer was so good #idek wtf is going on anymore* and each reblog adds new tags of their own to talk outside the rp as a sort of conversation), personally I've used both depending on what my rp partner prefers (I adapt quite easily) so use whatever you feel is right for you

Now, I'm not a Tumblr rp etiquette professional so there might be things I don't know/forgot to mention/got wrong, but also it's pretty easy to learn once you get into the right circle, I remember the first time I started roleplaying (both here on Tumblr and before on the Book app) I was basically going in blind and just imitating what everyone around me was doing while barely understanding why they were doing certain things until I started learning by observing and got bolder with my own roleplay so don't worry if you don't understand/know everything right away and give yourself some wiggle room to learn and make mistakes here and there

I hope that was useful, and thanks for asking! I'm happy to be of even a little bit help 🤗💞

[ambre-gris]

things got quite triggery in RRRR after marriage (the wizard started saying things a cringey ex used to say to me, ick) so i moved it out of my mods folder for now... before that, i had started running away to lance... although at first i was like "wtf dude, stop stalking me" 😅 a couple of days later, i had a dream of exploring crimson badlands with him, which was super cool. 12 irl hours after that, things had escalated to the point that uhh... we were engaged xD and something (i have like a 100 mods) was preventing me from divorcing the wizard so uhh, horrible things might have happened. ofc, you don't simply divorce the wizard! i still kept my other save where i married him prematurely, so i can explore the story in a better headspace.

but! turned out lance was the stardew husband i didn't know i needed. he's stuffed my inventory with life elixirs, triple shot espresso, rain totems and he's done a fair bit of cooking, too. i've been cracking up when i go on ginger island, meaning to go greet him at fable reef but he's just chilling on the beach in his swimwear xD i always wander around a lot so it's nice to run into your spouse on your travels! squee. plus his 12 heart event T.T <3 worth the grind. i was left a little ambiguous on how i feel about it, because it implied i had broken a promise :( but i rationalized it by saying it's for science and for the good of the species (or several).

and then the dream came true and we faced an apophis! (thank you npc adventures xD) wish i could tame one, they're so cute.. the crimson badlands are crazy... CRAZY COOL that is. idk getting there just made me so tickled i've been happy in real life too. ✨

btw, this whole lance ordeal has involved things such as: having a child before marriage (i spent a night at the highlands outpost before getting married to the wizard because "the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding" XDDDDD idek what went into me, i was a total nutcase), the town thinking it's the wizard's child when it's obviously lance's, but lance himself being clueless... 😂 but it's all good now. i don't know if i can marry anyone else in a new run. he's just so adorable and silly. he says "your visits spark a lot of joy in me", i say i'm a freaking firecracker 🎇🧨

when i'm way up here, it's crystal clear that now i'm in a whole new world with you...

[oopsiepoopsie-herewegoagain]

Okie, I need help- how do y’all determine goal weights? Like I have an ugw (for now, maybe if I get there I’ll wanna go lower, idk) but how do you determine the in betweens? Is it just what seems right? Is there a calculation? I’ve been in and out of this shit for fucking 12 years and idek yet for sure XD

Im starting at 257 lbs, and I think I really want to get down to at least 150… which is a lot, I know, but I feel like I was so much prettier back in high school when that was my weight. Of course, even then I thought I was fat, but looking back I feel different XD so… what would be good checkpoint gws? How big of a gap should be between each?

[ilovedthestars]

12 for the WIP ask game because it’s my favorite number. Also 36 because yay multiples

Thank you Artemis!!

12 is a fic I've shared, An Unexpected Quarter. Before i came up with a title for it at the absolute last minute before posting it, the folder it was in was titled "idek what to call this one." (I'm great at working titles.) Murderbot gets captured by the company, with no one to help it, but gets unexpected help from a company tech who takes pity on it. I really like angst but not too much angst, and this is where the perfect balance lies for me--a character thinking all hope is lost, but then it turns out it's not after all! Also, random humans who are in bad situations themselves recognizing the personhood of SecUnits and helping them out even at personal risk is something I enjoy.

36 is a very short wip titled "diff rogue." This is because I keep writing fics about random rogue SecUnits. (Other wips in this theme include working titles "another rogue" and "another about-to-be-rogue secunit bc of course.") (I'm great at working titles.) I haven't looked at "diff rogue" in ages, and poking around at it, there is very little going on here and I'm kind of confused about what this is XD

A snippet of conversation that I'm fairly sure takes place between ART and the titular random OC rogue secunit:

Who are you? I…the file said to contact this code. You are a rogue SecUnit. I don’t know how to answer that. It didn’t occur to me until now that this could be a trap. I assume your silence is an affirmative. I am currently at docking port []. If you can successfully make it there, you will be safe.

You know what, I'm pretty sure this concept was a follow-up to another wip, which is titled Murderbot and Three's Guide to Being a Rogue SecUnit. (gasp, a title!) That one was about MB and Three creating a revised version of the HelpMe.file, and planning to distribute it to other SecUnits that they encountered. So i think the idea for "diff rogue" was that a SecUnit got its hands on the file and the govmod hack, and then tried to track them down based on the "call us and we'll help you get to safety" instructions in the file. All i wrote was a very small amount of this SecUnit being very anxious and ART protecting slash terrorizing it a bit.

This one is probably not going to get finished ever, as the idea was pretty sparse in the first place, but it was fun to revisit!

[maareyas]

finished Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeons' postgame arc so it's time to write down my thoughts on the game I guess!!

Overall opinion: Gameplay was pretty good, story made me feel.......eh.

Playing this after finishing Gates was both a good and bad thing.

okok I'll start with the positives. The improved balancing is welcome after GTI's mess, even if it is still difficult (Super seems to be the most difficult game in the series?). Even the maps have improved, and it's much less tedious to explore dungeons ✨ That being said, I felt/was underleveled throughout the whole thing. It reached the point that I used an infinite health cheat from Submerged Cave onward, because I just didn't have enough motivation to struggle through the endgame just to finish the main story.

The emera and looplet mechanic is fun though! idek if I would want them in future games, or be something unique to Super, but yeah I like the extra support it gives. The "limited number of steps to get them" was kind of like a tiny puzzle ✨ Wands, I'm feeling a bit mixed on since they feel redundant next to orbs, but they're alright.

Other misc. features:

Connection Orb! - I'll be real, I did not understand how this mechanic worked for most of the game. It feels like a roundabout way for recruiting and job requests. Conceptually, I think it's interesting, but in practice it feels clunky. Especially if you want to take on multiple jobs in the same dungeon.

Cafe Connection - I can't help but feel like it makes finishing jobs less personal, but I do get that it's to streamline getting the rewards.

The callbacks!!! - One of my favorite minor details about the game is the returning NPCs all the way from even Rescue Team!! Team ACT, the Persian from Felicity Bank, Makuhita Dojo, Whiscash, The Wigglytuff guild members, Future Trio (though I haven't done their quest yet), Team Charm, Armaldo, Swanna, Munna and co.,-- I could go on and on XD It's very sweet esp as a long time fan of this series. Makes me wonder how the protags of the previous games are doing too.

Now onto what is my main gripe. The story.

This is the part where playing GTI beforehand was actually detrimental to my opinion of Super lmao. To be honest, Super's story feels like the weakest of the series. It's not terrible, but like. it didn't have the same impact. Hell, I wasn't even in a rush to finish the post-game arc about getting your partner back.

I wouldn't be so ":/" about the plot if the ultimate boss, Dark Matter, wasn't the manifestation of all the negative feelings of all pokemon,

when we already went through fighting the Bittercold, which is very similar in concept.

It just,,,, after that it just felt like Super was trying to reuse the story ideas from GTI. And I can't even blame them, because I don't think that many people played through Gates bc of it's issues. But whenever someone says Super's plot is better than Gates I go "hngggggg >:I". The build up to the Bittercold was handled SO much better than Super with Dark Matter. I can write a whole post just about this topic in particular.

I will say though. Nuzleaf's betrayal was nice and gave me a reason to say "Dad sent us to hell :^(" while explaining which part of the plot I was at to my friend lmaooooo

The ending is........hm. Theoretically, the last plot twist should've destroyed me. But it didn't. I was a bit sad yeah, but my interest in the plot kinda dwindled at that point. The weight of it didn't really settle in until after you meet Mew in the post-game. The characterization for the Player poke is very nice 👌

Partner's revival was very kingdom hearts-esque also--not a judgement of quality, I just thought it was neat.

In summary: I am salty about this game's story. It's fun to play though.

[combeferres-mothematics]

ANOTHER fic question hehehehe....im so interested in ur Joly sick fic actually....did he manage to diagnose himself!! Did no one believe him until he actually started showing clear symptoms and he was like "I told you so!! 🤮🤮"....and...is he gonna get better? 🥺

LKJAFSKJHLSLFHALKJFHSAGLK OKAY YOU'RE GONNA BE IN FOR A RIDE. I have not only one, but multiple (this remains to be known how many) Joly sickfics XD

Once again below a cut because... I'm scared of how many I'm going to find in my drafts- (Sickfics mayyy be my favorite thing to write)

Even the Darkest Nights will End (I shortened the title significantly here lmao) - The one I talk about the most, and thought was ALMOST done... almost 2k words ago... (Enjolras, Joly, and Grantaire are now bothering Combeferre for stickers, so idek what's happening anymore) The summery is quite old, I think I wrote it 300 words in, and with a 103 degree fever (which is how this whole fic started tbh) XD This has also been one of my pet projects since... uhh... january? so there's a LOT of lore

It starts out with him just sitting in bed trying (keyword trying) to sleep, he's already very clearly ill, He's already home tested himself for several different things, and they all came back negative, so he's very adamantly trying to convince himself that it's just a cold, nothing worse. He's banished Bossuet to a different bed in hopes that he won't get sick (He will. It's inevitable, they share EVERYTHING), and he's feeling very lonely :((

And I've noticed, at least in my experience, that anxiety about these things is SO MUCH worse when it's the middle of the night, and everyone's asleep, and you don't want to wake anyone up to talk you down from thinking it's worse than it really is. This is the really angsty part of the fic if you can't tell already XD

Plus, a little snippet, I don't think I've shared anywhere yet! (do be warned mentions of worrying about throwing up)

Enter Enjolras: He's working late, and when he sees Joly he's very worried he's getting a lecture on healthy sleep habits (I say as if I know what good sleep habits are) And then as soon as he sees that Joly's been crying he instantly launches into "Oh shit my friend is anxious time to fuss over them" mode"

He and Joly proceed to have a very nice conversation that was surprisingly theraputic to write (I may have projected just a tad), and then Enj decides he's going to get Joly a little something small to eat. at 4am. Leading to one of my favorite scenes here XD

And now we have Combeferre!! :D And Joly's feeling a bit more cheerful now that he's not alone, left to stew in his anxiety.

I forgot I wrote this, but now I'm cackling over the mental image of lost duckling Enjy

Combeferre quickly banishes Enjolras because he's hovering, and things get angsty for a minute again (NOT RELATED TO THE BANISHMENT OF ENJ)

And here's Enjolras being autistic about the way Ferre's clothes smell :)

And then everything is good again, and Joly and Enj manage to convince Ferre to give them a sticker (And then Grantaire comes in to be like "If you give me a sticker too, I won't tell any of the others you gave out stickers")

And that's where this one ends off, so far lol. Joly does in fact get better in this one :D

AND THEN WE HAVE THIS ONE :D (don't mind the title or summery, I started it after being awake for 30+ hours)

This one is nowhere near as developed as ETDNWE, but it's a Everyone Lives, No One Dies au set in canon era, about ehhhhhh, maybe 3-5 months after the barricades? I'm still researching when Cholera ended there, and I think I found that there was another, very small jump in cases around Nov. 1832 (where all of them died), but don't quote me on that, I haven't looked at those sources in a while, so I could be misremembering.

Joly ofc is very nervous when the symptoms here start, since.. Cholera. But Bossuet keeps trying to gently assure him it's going to be alright/maybe it's just anxiety

But then things are worse by morning, and Joly scares the absolute Crap out of Bossuet by refusing to tell him what he thinks he has. He KNOWS. what it is though, he's seen it enough times for there to be no mistake whatsoever.

And Bossuet proceeds to leave the house before even getting dressed (Though he does grab his hat on the way out) And heads to go to the house on Rue Plumet to find Enjolras, who ofc will know where Combeferre is, cutting down the search time significantly.

(This is indeed and Enjosette siblings au as well)

And that's about as far as I've plotted for that one. and as for if Joly will be alright... >:3 We will see. *ominous voice*

Ty for the ask!! :D I always love discussing the sickfics XD, and now I'm very workpilled for both of them, so we'll see how that goes-

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

No after figure we're not 😭😭

AWWW HONEYYY NO 😭😭😭🥺🥺💔❤️

Well yeah but he can decide to break up with you too

But yeah honey totally valid :(((

Hmm not always though Tim

Oop true 😳

Punishing yourself like everyone else 😬

OOP that's the tea o.o

Bitesize therapy where you can't escape xD

Hmm

"Bailey" NO CELINA'S HERE ASK BAILEY

GORL I WAS RIGHT O.O

Celina's face XDD

SLFKGHDS YEP

Yeahhh diseases xD

LOL

Idiots xD

Yeppp slfkdjs

Oop Emma :O

UH OHHH

OHH NOOO

Uh ohh

OHHH BLOOD

Crap

Oh noo

?

Dead :(((

Poor girl 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺

Yeeeah she shouldn't be here

OOP yep dibs xD

Hmm nah there's gonna be an issue with her xD

Yeah probably not

But also near murder apparently lol

Yep xD

Yeah it's not great but it's an option

Okay whatever you say

"Took the words right out of my mouth" LOL

You needed to say it

Yeah :)

Yeah o.o

Dang all y'all right there lol

Ik it's your job lol but

Old zoo o.o

Yk memories xD

UH OH

Oh gosh :O ayyy she's okay!!!

Awww poor girl :(( 😭😭

It's not your fault honey <33

Right forgot which one was which, anyway interesting that he killed Emma first

Maybe just chance

Yeah real :(

Awww honey 😭

Honeyy tell the truth if you know it

Ahh because she escaped :(

Wasn't she already dead? Oh like kill her too

Oop suspicious old look out

The baby thing is sensitive to everyone too :(

Well kids in general

Maybe not Tim and Lucy but they have their own problems lol

Oope

I doubt he's in there

OPE O.O

Nahh there's gotta be somebody else involved

And there's already flies

Maybe they did it? Idek

His wife??

They're like "yeeeah he's dead"

Hmm okay hours

Ah crap right o.o

But she's there-

Okay phew

Hmm still suspicious

Oogh that look at the camera

OPE

Agh gosh

OH NO knife o.o

I wonder if she killed and now is just in it and thinks she needs to run? Idek

Agh gosh what a complicated place to run in xd

Yeeah that's annoying

Thissss is annoying

If somebody sees her and they slightly misspeak 😬

OOP she running

Uh oh

Why is that rando just walking by o.o

Aww honey :(((

Poor girl 😭

Awww 😭😭

This is wild

This is amazing acting though :(

OOP she killed both o.o

Awww honey 😭😭😭💔

Oogh those screams

This is so good but just ouch 😭

Wow

That was amazing but so sad :((

[castle-dominion]

c3x24 knockout. Wasn't the last episode in this storyline knockout too? No, knockdown.

Plot heavy episode, after all, it is the finale.

RC: Hey, guys, I could use a hand. *Esposito & Ryan applaud* Ryan wearing a sweater again. Weekly is v often. their faces drop when they mention him

The ring <3 Lol the "special" & the "usual" & the excellent choice madame. I love it. An hour ago today? Why they all cheering? Oh bc he's the cop. "He" was going to get around to me Ugh he gives him a minute & lays down politely, like this is honestly so respectful of a murder. He's have more blood probably. I remember looking like that. I am now remembering that. You know, for weeks, possibly even a month or several months I could smell blood. The first day, even the first week bc i was still healing, I thought that the smell of blood was just there for real. The bathroom must have smelled like metal; iron & copper; idk how my family didn't notice anything. Maybe it was all in my head now that I think about it. Then later I realized that it was just a hallucination. Sometimes I'd get a whiff of blood & it would remind me of that night, other times I would remember it & suddenly I could smell it. Again, in the earlier days I thought that maybe the smell was real & I just didn't notice it until I thought about it. Figuring out I was getting hallucinations shocked me. Did I just give myself ptsd? I wish I had a photo. I considered it but my phone was in the other room & I wasn't going to go get it. All that blood. Looking back, even tho I'm (sort of) clean now, I want that photo. I wanted a reference for murder scenes in my writing or in drawing, I wanted to see the progress of what I had done, now that I can't remember it as well I want to know what it really looked like & how far I actually got. I used to get nauseous every time I thought about it, even though I was fine with gore. Now all I have is the scar. You know, I used to make jokes when picking raspberries or cutting beets, I said it looked like a murder scene. During this time I realized how wrong I was. Anyway I wrote a fictional story basically transcribing my experiences, just so I'd have a record of it if my memory faded, it was already getting muddy when I wrote it. Now reading it I can barely see it. I remember it though. I remember it. At least I don't get blood olfactory hallucinations anymore. Back to the episode!

Wow it's been four months? Yeah he has an employer. idek who that employer is. Wait if she was 16 & it's been 12 years then she's only 28... alexis is 17 & if he had her at minimum 18 that would be 35 minimum. Well that fits the half plus seven rule. She's 28? 21x2=42 which sounds just as accurate for castle tbh. Yeah cool. Tho tbh the half plus seven rule does fall apart the more you age since people's brains still go thru development phases even tho the most & biggest were from ages -1 to 25.

He technically isn't hal lockwood hence why they called him john doe. OH NO FLASHBANGS. Those things are not good. Even the guys breaking him out would have been affected, even if they covered their ears & closed their eyes. (You only have two hands, two would have to be for your ears & so all you can do is close ur eyes & even so it is bright & loud & there is a physical boom. She asks "where" but how does the lady know what she means? Where is it safe? Where did they go? Where are you hurt? Poor helicopter guy. was he piloting?

Just like, check ur inbox? Can't be real names, must be code. That's why espt made that face! Just like my Mumma! She has her emergency radio license or smth like that. She's the one who taught me the nato phoenetic alphabet. Having seen this. His face when the third cop is mentioned. they were just talking abt street justice cops & monty is saying they should take him out rn rn.

JE: He says he wouldn’t have even known anybody had used it if it weren’t for the bullet holes. XD Does she know or is she speculating? No ofc she is not, but she is ok enough & ok enough to work.

Jim Beckett! & This will be the scene from the deleted scenes in the previous episode. You're so right Mr Beckett. Her life is def worth more than her mom's death. I love Jim sm. Here is his quote btw: What happens when she finds him? I’ve already lost my wife over this. I’ve already lost – (he stops) No, look. It took me years, but I’ve made my peace with that. But Katie? She won’t listen to me. And she won’t back down. Not unless someone can convince her that her life is worth more than her mother’s death.

& wow both her parents are lawyers, she was even considering becoming a lawyer. No wonder she's so pretty & educated.

Didn't sleep at all or slept a little bit? No, not Ryker!

He gon be dead. Yep he dead.

That's why the wound is so bad, GSWs are so much worse in the exit wound Death fist 4 poster (btw I like how ryan takes off his tie & stuff when he wears his vest, unbuttons a bit)

See? If u treat someone with respect then they respect u too. Aw that's actually kinda sweet. Crushing on Beckett.

Ok our theory is currently that the third cop is the employer, the one holding lockwood's leash Ok that's valid you've been angry over johanna's death for twelve years but also ryan was frickin tortured by this guy I think he wants him around as much as u do, esp since he's also mad on your behalf (tho ig she could also be mad on his behalf then...)

I like ryan's elbow patches. (Suit tie & jeans) What was that little look from ryan? Keep in mind I've seen this before, when I say this: {RM is encouraging them to find the third cop, claiming that the 3c must have the money to hire dick coonan to clean up the mess} Yeah they've been here all day & between the four of them a six pack isn't too much. It's late. They deserve it. JE walking in with a case of beer behind his back: Sir. Uh, I know we're still officially on duty, but RM: Authorized KR: Sláinte (health in Gaeilge; pronounced slAn-chuh)* RC: Nice work. Ooh, those are cold. These are really cold. KR : Yeah, we keep them in evidence, refrigerated storage. (they just keep booze in refrigerated evidence storage??) RC: Isn't that where you keep the-- JE: Don't worry about it. RC: (*Irish Gaelic is pronounced (in English) 'gay-lik'. The (Scottish) Gaelic name for (Scottish) Gaelic is Gàidhlig, pronounced 'gaa-lik', not to be confused with the Irish (Gaelic) name for Irish (Gaelic), which is written Gaeilge and pronounced 'gail-gyuh'.) (clipping)

Beer: *casually reveals smth* Calls him a dirtbag SOB, {like my dude, y r u sending em out to find that info?} ((We get to see the meeting in a future season!)) Love. Everyone knows they love each other.

That rubber tree plant The kiss was for a disguise & frozen in each other's arms was for wamrth & bc friends can do that too! She's right tho, it IS her life. (just like the s8 premier) It is the end of s3 so it has been 3 years now? (maybe 2.5 bc the first season was short?) You deserve to be happy, but in that tone? Ooh How over? He is not going to abandon you.

Man's angry! Martha <3 <3 I can see how he might feel it is his fault even tho he's not the one trying to kill everyone. He drug it back up. (could clip but I won't)

I love when she calls him by his first name, it is so intense & personal, he is her second dad. He supports her so much so well. He really is good for her, helping her laugh, bringing in outside ideas... Hug her. acab lol But seriously hug her. You are her dad.

Old guys, probably retired they say. Miami! Wow ryan's cheekbones in this lighting... KR says he DOESN'T believe a "badge" is behind this. (Metonymy) {keep this detail in mind} (But then ryan is the first to crack abt you know who)

Oh no he's the third cop isn't he? {yeah he is} lol order off the menu (so roy made a deal with The Big Bad Guy to protect beckett) He would SO be found out B'y god's got nothing to do with this

What about the son? The way u hold someone intimately lets you put a thumb over their lips & kiss them That's an old timey gun. I like it. Another old timey gun.

Wow it's already been all day! Nothing eventful happened all day... At least miami dade got back to them this evening. Going out w/o telling her? I mean ok.

Big sad.

Bro's still wearing an nypd sweatshirt? Tight is a good word. Some rookie? Young enough to not be retired yet Could he have maybe misremembered the name if there were 40 others he needed to know the names of too & it's been 10 years? Montague maybe? He looks so baby *gulp* Rips up the photo, tbh that's rude

[JE is walking out into the alley] KR Hey! You know it's him. (He looks like he's about to cry.) Montgomery's our third cop. He's the one who altered those records. JE How can you even say that? How can you even think that?! Montgomery brought us on to Homicide! What do we got? A picture!?! KR (whispered/strained) Think about it. (Nromal but strained) Why else did he want us to take Lockwood out? Because Lockwood leads us to him! (Hun he told u to go after the third cop.) He's been lying to us. (Espt also looks like he might cry.) He's been lying to us the whole time. [JE shakes his head, mouthing what I think is "I'm out" & turns around to start walking away.] KR Hey! [Ryan grabs Espt's shoulder] JE Get off me! [Espt punches Ryan & turns around again. They fight. KR grabs him from the back & pushes him into the wall/truck/whatever that thing is. Espt pushes around & gets Ryan pinned to the truck with his hands on his shirt. & not in a sexy way. JE is yelling, holding KR's face & has his fist next to his head.] KR Go ahead! Go ahead! [JE throws Ryan's head to the side as he lets him go. They both lean against the wall, breathing heavily. They both look emotionally ruined.] KR Beckett.

AAAAAAGHHDSKJFSDHJ THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE & then they just don't talk about it.

Please don't let him be the one to kill her Girl set ur phone to vibrate, u'r a cop, this stuff can be dangerous. Why cock the gun? You can't put your family thru going to jail but this happens? (So babe you uh, don't they have ballistics for all nypd guns? when they pull the slug?)

A second chance <3 Who is the "he" They might have come even if Beckett didn't show up, as long as he said he got her there. Then again, they were probs watching. He is her dad so much Good on him to bring in Castle (of all people, he brought castle, even after kicking castle out) Oof this is where I stand They probs saw three figures there & probs even know he means to kill them. Castle is great he just picked her up like that! She was flailing & kicking & he just did what the captain said! Beauty!

(so lockwood has a bunch of people here too? Lockwood is not The Only One y'all) So there are four ppl there. Didn't they kill the two guys with Lockwood during the previous relevant episode? KB & RC came in to save JE & KR & they ended up shooting two of lockwood's people? Now lockwood has four more. Shoot from the hip... RM: You got that ass-backwards, boy, you can't hide from me.

love how they brought back the ass backwards line How did he shoot all of them so fast? Also with a gun like that wouldn't he have to cock it every time? Or maybe not, it was old fashioned, not old. It probably has the mechanism set so that the back thingy & the trigger are attached to pull back too. lockwood got shot, he's back up & running now? Love the music btw. Noooo not behindy! I saw to that. You're done, Lockwood, we both are. & that's why he had a sixshot & a second gun! ...Which was just up his sleeve like that & definitely dangerous

How did u know that was the last shot? What if lockwood was still alive (again) & now he's coming to kill you? At least she is wearing short heels Check his pulse maybe?

Lol acab. I'd just as well watch the Helena music video.

Is this beckett's apatment? I can't tell. Family. Doesn't include his legal family tho apparently. & you have accepted castle back? You know it's weird, Espt & Ryan are like Becket's little brothers (& big brothers) sometimes, they give Castle the cold shoulder in defense of Beckett; other times they are brothers with Castle, they have said "mom & dad [are] fighting" as if caskett is a relationship & those two are the kids, sometimes the captain is the dad. It's just so good to me. So good. Found family is lowkey cliche but I love it still. (But this means u can't tell alexis, martha, lanie, jim, or anyone, bc they are extended "family" not immediate "family" right?)

Who's the guy behind Espt there? Also why didn't Esposito shave?? I feel like Castle should be wearing a hat, just to fit in. Not a hat like theirs, but some sort of trilby maybe. Tbh I really like seeing the pigs in their blankets. Not only because I like fancy stuff (I say wearing the same dirty jeanjacket with holes in it like some crustpunk) but also bc I like seeing them in hats, speaking as a hat wearer myself. & who's the guy behind Ryan?

Crying quietly, 👌 love it You don't necessarily owe it to him, you owe it to his family, you owe it to them to get the pension & access to the widows+orphans fund & w/e.

I like how they let Castle carry the casket even tho he is not a cop. Ok my man definitely needs a hat, he really looks out of place. Aw the poor family. yk acab even tho he be dead. I mean best wishes to him & the families+friends. Like tbh big acab moments. A huge funeral for him? Ok how many ppl there actually knew him personally? How much of this is just because he was a fellow enforcer of the law? How much of it is REAL & how much of it enforces an institution where brotherhood takes priority? Btw did they teach castle how to do the proper stepping for the fancy parts of walking around & turning the way they do? I thought Royce did that. KB: You might find someone to stand with you *looks over to Rick* How did rick actually see that tho? I'm glad he didn't jump in front of a bullet, it hit her first. ALSO LANIE BEING HELP BACK BY ESPOSITO Girl that's not how you save someone. U might want to put pressure on the wound or wear gloves if u have any (like airplanes) & do NOT put your hands on the grass like that

Ok cool. Now I'm actually going to watch season one bc I never had the chance to liveblog that.

Ok now I've also gathered all my clips from s3 yay

[goddamnmuses]

What drew you to the fandom(s) your muses are from? (Your Marvel muses to be specific)

I've always been a Marvel fan, I think it probably started with like the cartoons like X-Men and Spider-Man. I just liked the sort of anyone can be a hero thing that Marvel has. I'm talking the age of like running around pretending to be a superhero, which is what I did as a kid, even invented superheroes like I was Zapboy based loosely on lightning being 'zappy' and my little brother was Boomer (didn't age well) but was based on thunder being booming. Dumb now but not at like.. idek. I was so young I don't think i had the internet yet xD But yeah, Marvel's just always been in my life pretty much in some capacity.

[formulatemotif]

bro i got.. so drunk last night. so drunk i started talking about being TRANSGENDER. can u believe it? there was a point in my life when u could not pay my closeted repressed ass enough to share Anyrhing like that willingly. but here i am. “hey guys.. what if i. went by finn >_< thatd b crazy xD” you know. bht anyway it was a great nignt alrhought im kinda horribly embarrassed. cuz now. everyone knows i have bottom dysphoria..<3 yippee. ughhh. and by everyone i mean like 2 people that were not cable lmfao. so, will and jordan. im just scared bro i feel like i do everything wrong. esp w jordan. apparently his gf used to be a trans man??!! shes just like me fr. except. im trans now. lmfao idek. im deciding between james and finn to b called for now.. whuch is to say i still like jade kinda. but i need to b like, fully endorsing this trans thing or i will succumb to my deep seeded fear of actually allowing myself to b trans lmao. so yea. um. i said some cringe shit lasr nught. we had a really good time but i was cringe on occassion. im ssooo embarrassed but me ans will also had a heart 2 heart which was awesome ans tbh kinda makes it all worth it. it honestly was like. maybe one of the most tender moments in my life this far. idk. but it wasso nice. it was after i admitted having bottom dysphorja and i said how embarrassed i was and will shared something deeplt personal about himself tht i wont put here. but jusr hearing him say that??? qhen he could tell i had just let something big off my chest. to say that just to make me feel better.. idk it made me cry and then i did. it was incredible. we r like brothers.

[maskthesimp]

I watched it and it was almost a waste of my fuckin Paramount+ subscription. I hated it so much. It was so...unnecessary. it was just season 3 but in reverse and with bad writing and arguably even worse effects. Only redeemable thing about it was Eli, and even that's debatable BECAUSE WHERE DID HE COME FROM? WHO WAS HIS MOTHER??? WHERE DID BRAYDEN GO?? AND WHY DID DEREK--!?!? [SPOILERS]

Okay...I'm fine.

I hate that movie so much XD brings out the worst in me istg. Also, Mason and Liam didn't even interact in the movie which is a fucking crime.

Idek where the War went...or where Alec went. Where tf did he go? He was there before. And now we probably won't go back in time if we get another movie or season to see wtf happened to him. Did Scott fail to protect him? Why is everyone split up? We saw them together in s6 and got no explanation for why they were apart.

Wtf happened to Scott and Malia? I despised their relationship like a wart on my foot. It was unnecessary, happened out of nowhere, and they had no chemistry or reason to be together, but there wasn't even an explanation! I suppose I won't complain since it means they're done....BUT WHY WITH PARRISH NOW? Look. I love Parrish. He's awesome. He's one of my favourite Supernaturals but come the fuck on...there is no reason for Malia to be with him. Even when Shelley Hennig and Ryan Kelley saw the fact they had to kiss, they texted each other like "Oh my god NOOOO".

I don't even like Stydia (I'm a Stalia girly through and through), but that was kind of a lame reason to break them up. It would have made more sense for it to be like "Oh we just worked better as a friendship duo. The relationship put too much strain on stuff, so we broke it off years ago." I'm still mad about how they ended Stalia, btw. He walked out of the car over a disagreement, and that constitutes a break-up??? In what world is that breaking up??? They were so cute for each other! Pretty sure they were the only couple to last a full season too, other than maybe Scott and Allison in season 2, but that's debatable since she turned on them at some point.

If Malia and Stiles can stay together after he hid the identity of her father from her and they don't talk for like a week, then they can stay together over him killing in self defence, and her siding with him over his own guilt. LIKE BRO SHE WASN'T DISAGREEING WITH YOU, SHE WAS SAYING SHE SUPPORTED YOU REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU DID! SHE KILLED HER OWN FAMILY, TRUST ME, SHE KNOWS HOW IT FEELS!

Honestly, I'm livid they neglected the creatures. They hinted at so many as well. We never saw a full Kanima, and we never saw the...Dragon thingie or whatever it was. Remember that guy Liam and Hayden met with the wings that were cut off? That guy. What even was he? There are so many things they could have done. Kelpie, Hydra, Werebear, Gorgon, Vampire, Ghosts, and Minotaurs, etc. They could have gone full Percy Jackson with that shit but they just gave us tiny sprinkles because they ran out of creative juices I suppose.

Honestly, same. I made this plot in my head, also half-baked, that could have given them another season, which introduced Dragons and entirely separate culture with several subspecies of weredragons from different cultures. I wrote a few chapters on Wattpad but I haven't touched it in over a year XD

okay so can we talk about how dirty they did theo??? not even the whole thiam thing (which totally should have happened, you can fight me on that).

but like the hellscape they sent him to?? like I know he killed people. but so did Peter. so did Chris. so did Jackson. and yeah Jackson in particular had extenuating circumstances. but you're telling me theo didn't?? like he was kidnapped, experimented on, and raised by literal sociopaths from the age of what?? 9?? he probably spent years trying to make friends with the other chimeras before they became failures and died!!

the Dread Doctors mess with people's minds and memories on MULTIPLE occasions and you expect me to believe that that little child maliciously pushed his big sister to her death?? for what?? no, I refuse. I refuse to believe that a nine year old child (in their right mind) decided to murder their older sibling. no. either the Dread Doctors fucked with him like they did Tracy or they killed Tara and made Theo believe it was him.

I also refuse to believe that that was actually Tara that dragged him to hell. no matter what the dessert fox ladies said. I firmly and immovably believe that that was Theo's own creation. that his subconscious believed that this is what he deserved for what happened to Tara. that his own guilt was literally trying to rip him apart.

I acknowledge that without the hellscape Theo would not have been the Theo that anyone would even want around. but I am thoroughly mad about the hypocrisy on everyone involved's part.

The only reason they punished Theo is because he almost beat them. Stiles HATED Theo because he outsmarted him. Malia hated Theo because he tricked her. Liam hated him because he used his own mind against. Scott hated Theo because Theo managed to rip his pack apart and actually killed him. (I will make an exception to the hypocrisy on Malia's part cuz that is actually on brand for her.)

And again he did kill people, but his eyes are still gold/yellow. he never killed an innocent. not like Peter or Chris or Jackson or other characters I am forgetting (leaving out Malia and Derek cuz Malia's was her mom's fault and Derek's was Peter's fault, technically Jackson's was not his fault but the point stands) oh like Deucalion and his alpha pack.

and if someone says that his eyes don't change color bcuz he is a chimera, maybe. just maybe. but can you name someone he killed that had not already killed someone (besides Scott and that is iffy)

i will retract any of the above points if feasible contradicting evidence is found. I am also very, very open to discussions about and additions to my argument.

[kusunokihime]

::: DO NOT REBLOG. Anyone who does will be hardblocked :::

     [ While little attention is given to Mikoto’s feelings about the coup in canon, I headcanon her thoughts concerning it to be...complex.

     First, concerning the clan’s history:

     It’s made clear that, since the founding of Konoha, the Uchiha have been - at times slightly, at times majorly - ostracized by other parts of the village. The lingering distrust between them and the Senju - who, for as long as Konoha has existed, have maintained major power while the Uchiha have had near to none - meant that any chance of things ever completely settling were nearly nonexistent. All Hokage have either been of Senju blood, or had Senju teachings. Hashirama, Tobirama, and Tsunade belong to the clan. Hiruzen was taught by Tobirama, Minato taught by Hiruzen’s student Jiraiya, Kakashi taught by Minato, and Naruto taught by Kakashi (and fathered by Minato). The bias is...extremely evident.

     While Hashirama had every intention of bettering the relationship between the clans, his rather early demise shattered that dream...and it only got worse when Tobirama was named Nidaime. Lacking his brother’s idealism and optimism, he tried a more hands-off approach to the Uchiha: he made them the village’s police...while keeping both their district and their new station tucked away in the rear of the village: a physical reminder of how they were very much the ‘others’ when it came to the clans of Konoha. They were also barred from positions of power: they were disallowed from becoming ANBU, the most trusted and highly-skilled warriors of the Hokage seat. Nor were they allowed to hold positions within the council of elders. 

     This was all in spite of the fact that not a single Uchiha defected to follow Madara in his rebellion against Konoha and Hashirama, choosing instead to remain loyal to the village. Tobirama’s trust could still not be earned.

     Hiruzen, also tied to the Senju line as a student of Tobirama’s, was not nearly as anti-Uchiha as his teacher was...but his nevertheless slight bias was still present. Things remained mostly unchanged for the Uchiha for much of his time as Hokage...until the Kyūbi incident. When Obito attacked the birthing team assisting Kushina in delivering Naruto and unleashed Kurama, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that an Uchiha had to have been involved. And while that was technically true, Obito acted of his own volition, and had no support or knowledge concerning his clan. They hadn’t even known he was still alive.

     At the time, most KMPF officers - rather than confront the Kyūbi directly as the shinobi did - instead tasked themselves with the evacuation of the civilians, whom they were most responsible for as the village’s police. This left near to no shinobi witnesses outside the clan that could account for their whereabouts during the attack. Even as Mikoto’s sister Manami lost her leg protecting a family from the beast, and both Mikoto and her husband Fugaku assured Hiruzen that they had nothing to do with the attack, suspicion remained...and conditions for the Uchiha got worse.

     Rights - slowly but surely - were squeezed and narrowed for them. A curfew was enacted for the entire clan, their communications outside the village were subject to search, and intelligence was kept from them. Talk began stirring within the Uchiha of a coup, and nearly the entire clan was for it from the beginning. Outliers included Manami - Mikoto’s older sister - and her son Shisui, as well as a few others (including Itachi, unspokenly)...but not nearly enough to halt the talks of rebellion.

     Itachi, having shown great promise, was the clan’s first and only ANBU officer ever fully instated. (Canon says that Shisui, too, was ANBU...but he is never shown in their garb. And given Fugaku’s later suspicion of Itachi stemming from his position as ANBU, him asking Shisui of all people - as another ANBU officer - to keep an eye on him makes no sense. Therefore, this blog sees him reach tokubetsu jōnin rank only, not ANBU). This was done purposefully by Hiruzen as a means to offer an olive branch to the clan...but Fugaku immediately used it as a weapon, demanding his son become a double agent, which he agreed to...but in truth, he was a triple agent, working for the village over the clan. 

     Fugaku, up until that point, had been negotiating on and off with the village - more so in recent months - since the attack by Obito to try and stem the backlash from the village. But every offer and compromise he brought forward was shot down.

     This was seen, at the time, as the continued prejudice against the Uchiha, and only served to stoke their fires of rebellion further the more time went on. In truth, nearly all of the extremism present in the proceedings from the attack onward came from Shimura Danzō, who - more than anyone, and at odds with Hiruzen - adopted Tobirama’s anti-Uchiha sentiments. 

     Those feelings were also coupled with greed over their eyes, having been making secret arrangements with Orochimaru to allow them to continue their research in return for any advancements deemed useful for the councilman, which would later revolve around Hashirama’s cells, and Uchiha eyes. His continued hardlining against the clan was in part due to his bias and belief they were a genuine threat...and a want to take their power for himself. By having the clan killed, he would both eliminate their threat, and receive their eyes for his own personal use. The massacre, from the beginning, was his idea, and his alone. The rest of the council - more partial to Tobirama as well, and therefore often siding with him over Hiruzen - were easily manipulated into following his lead, not knowing the true extent of his motives.

     With all of this in mind, Mikoto’s feelings therefore mostly concerned three main factors: the overall well-being of her clan; the safety of her sons; and the circumstances surrounding her friend Kushina’s death.

     For the clan, she knew that - given the unrelenting refusal from the village - if they were to have their freedom and their due respect, war was almost inevitable. If Konoha would not listen to reason and continue to treat them like second class citizens in a village they helped found, defend, and remained loyal to even when Madara himself turned his back...then they would resort to force.

     On the other hand, she had seen the effect the last war had had on her eldest son. She herself knew the horrors of war. Subjecting Itachi and Sasuke to that was something that weighed heavily on her. As much as she wanted to fight back, she didn’t want their childhoods colored by civil war if they could in any way avoid it. ANBU or not, Itachi was still a child...and Sasuke was barely enrolled in the Academy. Though she gave Fugaku her support, she also begged that he keep trying to salvage the talks for as long as possible...if only for the sake of her boys.

     But what had the most weight leaning her into war - a deeply personal feeling of betrayal and anger toward Konoha - came not by blood...but by friendship.

     Uzumaki Kushina’s death rattled Mikoto to her very core. The pair had been best friends since their Academy days, and Mikoto trusted no one else as much as she did Kushina, save her sister and - in some regards - her husband. The loss was just as keen as if she’d lost a sister, and she mourned openly for weeks. During that time, having been in the hospital often to visit her sister Manami as she recovered from her amputation, Mikoto spotted baby Naruto within the maternity ward...and she immediately knew he was Kushina’s son. He looked too much like Minato to be mistaken, and the birthdate matched perfectly. 

     But what confirmed it more than anything was the angry red chakra Mikoto could practically feel calling to her Sharingan: the chakra of the Kyūbi...the demon that had attacked their village, disfigured her sister, killed her best friend...and had changed the lives of her kin forever.

     Few had been allowed to know about Kushina’s status as a jinchūriki. Mikoto, even if not technically allowed, had been one of them. Once the secret was out, Kushina confided much in her best friend, including the Uzumaki preference for sealing the beast due to their chakra and sealing techniques.

     ...first Konoha had let someone steal the Kyūbi and thereby kill her best friend. Then they sealed the beast into her baby, and left him an orphan. 

     Mikoto wouldn’t stand for it.

     She’d gone - after leaving her boys at home - straight to Hiruzen’s office, demanding to adopt the boy. Who else was more suitable than the best friend of his mother? Jiraiya, his godfather, was nowhere to be found, and was hardly in the position to care for a newborn. Mikoto was an experienced mother, and already loved the boy like a son as the child of her closest friend. He didn’t have to grow up alone and ostracized. He had her.

     ...but the council refused.

     And she knew why.

     It was their decision that he would remain parentless, alone, and kept ignorant of his past and lineage. There was a loving, familiar family just waiting for him...and the council refused.

     It boiled her blood like few things had ever done in her nearly three decades of life. It was then that Mikoto truly realized there would be no overcoming the bias against them. There would be no justice - for them, for those like Naruto...none of it was fair.

     So, it was with the weight of her clan’s and her best friend’s son’s lives on her back that Mikoto fully aligned herself with the coup, and saw it through until the end...when her own son cut her down for the sake of a village that would throw him, too, away when the time came. Danzō, Koharu, Homura, and Hiruzen: it was them she cursed just as Itachi’s blade swung.

     ...she refused to forgive them, even in death. ]