#and by now idek what's which xD

[divinekangaroo]

Suddenly realising while rubbing down a lamb roast with oil and salt exactly where my Alfie fic went astray

[call-me-chips]

Long vent warning 🙃

So if you came here for my typical carefree content, don't feel forced to read this at all :)

Ik I won't care if you do or don't, but I just need to get this to someone

I see a lot of people talking about having no friends and having bad friends, and both are really bad and I'm not trying to put down anyone's experiences, but I feel like there's a different kind of hurt when your friends just don't like you. Like, they're good people, but they just don't like you.

Like, I have this one friend (J) where, he's the closest thing I have to a best friend (aka, we see each other once a week and seem to enjoy each other's company), but I really don't think J likes me

He always has an excuse for not hanging out. Always. My sibling and I wanted to go to a comic con and invited J and his girlfriend, K. He mentioned a few weeks before that he might not be able to go because he might have to babysit a child or something. Closer to the con, J said that he, infact, wouldn't have to watch the child, which we were happy about, but then immediately he said that he "wasn't allowed" to go to this con. The reason he gave was "My dad thinks comic cons are cults." Even though J's been to several cons, one of which was in the US (We're Canadian).

And just yesterday a group I was going to had a Halloween night, and J promised he would go. We all made plans to be there, but the night of, I texted him and asked him if he was coming, to which he responded with "I'm not allowed", even though he's at the age where that shouldn't matter at all

I asked him why, and he never got back.

Everything I want to do, everything we try to plan, he's got a reason to not go.

He says he likes me and likes hanging out with me, but I don't believe it. Every excuse he uses is bullshit.

And it really sucks because I truly thought he'd be a friend that sticks around. Every friend I've ever had has left the moment I got too close.

And it's not like I can easily make friends, as I've never gone to school and I'm not in college

My parents keep scolding me about how I have no friends and that "God designed people to need other people" and that I "can't live life alone", but I don't know how the fuck they just expect me to summon new ones.

I've exhausted all groups I'm in of potential friends. And it's not like I don't try to make friends. I've been rejected dozens of times

But I know I'm just about ready to stop reaching out to J. I'll just stop asking if he wants to do anything and see if he initiates anything. When he doesn't, at least I'll know for sure that he doesn't really like me xD

Slightly different topic, but I really feel like I can't ever open up to anyone (which is why I rant to strangers on the internet). Literally everyone I've opened up to has either left me or betrayed me with it

I shared my struggles with a licensed therapist, and she made me feel like my feelings were nothing. She told me it was a phase and refused to hear any more

I shared one of my phobias in a trusted friend group chat, and one of the dudes (W) sent me a gif of it, have me the worst panic attack I've ever had, and then W called me sensitive when I complained about what he did (I was crying non stop for 30 mins, couldn't calm down completely for the next couple days, and got triggered my a simple household item that has NEVER triggered me before. I mean like, I saw this simple thing, froze in place, started hyperventilating, and nearly had another panic attack)

And there are a few other examples, but the worst one is when I opened up to my best friend at the time (N). I opened up, shared my story, cried in front of her. She left me the following week. N suddenly started talking to her other friend more and I could barely get a moment alone with her anymore. We barely talk now

I'm just tired of people. Tired of trying. Idek what I'm supposed to do at this point. I only rant to strangers cuz it's a lot less painful if someone online unfollows you than if a friend leaves you

Anyway I think that's enough for right now, I got pretty carried away 😅

If you read all this, here's a cookie :3 🍪

[lazorbeanz]

Why do you personally ship, like, or appreciate Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy? What’s your favorite moment between the two?

Why do I ship Sonamy?

Okay, ima admit it..for someone who is a diehard sonamy fan, and thinks about AND ONLY about them literally every waking second, I can not think of ONE reason why I ship them to begin with….

“So you just ship them for basically no reason WHY?!” Pretty much 😅

And I’ve seen so many other people give their really good reasons and opinions on why they ship sonamy, and I full on agree with ‘em, but as for myself, I rack up nothing…and it’s my favourite ship too I mean come onnn TwT

I’ve also had my sister ask me this same question not long ago, and all I could do was just sit there and think “Damn your life almost revolves around these 2 HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE AN ANSWER?!” I constantly beat myself up for this because I know I should 😭

And I mean, stuff like being the dynamic duo that they are, (whether in battle or not) their attitude and affection for each other evolving over time, respecting the other’s wants and needs, respecting boundaries (kinda the same thing tbh lol) , enjoying each others company, and just how the whole idea of sonamy has turned from what some people may see as “toxic” or “forced” (that might be the better word for it) from early 2000s media, to something more laid back and healthy like recent media because of all the character development over the years… etc, etc…are all fantastic reasons, and even reasons I would now apply as to why I love the ship even more…BUT they’re not the reasons I began to ship them in the first place, because these things I NEVER took into consideration when I starting doing so.

To put a long story short, I just saw pink and blue hedgies and was like, “ooooh I sense chemistry”

I feel like I could be going no where with all this. But all I’m tryna say is that I LIKE sonamy simply because of who they are…just a speedy blue boi and his hammer-wielding pink girlie. I APPRECIATE them solely because of their existence, especially in my life. They are like- one of the few things I ever look forward to these days. I SHIP them because unlike any other ship that has sonic or amy in it, sonamy just… “works” (I don’t know how to explain it but you know what I mean right??) And despite not being canon, (YET! 😏) they have got to be the closest ship to becoming canon (besides vectilla) ..unless I’m just biased :p

What got me into Sonamy?

Well, I did kinda just answer this in the previous question lol but I have to elaborate!

So yeah it started off with just seeing them 2 together and thought “I like where this is going hehe” tho tbh it never really went anywhere…because I was watching Sonic Boom at the time XD, the first piece of Sonic media I consumed since regaining an interest in the franchise. AND WE ARE NOT going back to like 2015 or 16 when I first discovered Sonic…idek what I did regarding shipping back then…I think I like shipped blaze and shadow or something OH LAWD-

Also to think that those short lived Sonamy moments in Boom didn’t even bother me in the slightest?! Present me is disgusted by such lack of interest or care! 😫

Okay okay I’m straying from the question, I’m sorry!!

There are a few things that got me hooked on Sonamy. First was definitely the tv series’. Boom, Prime and X all had adorable and wholesome moments that I could’ve almost died of cuteness from! Some of it was also hilarious too. In Sonic boom for instance, sonic and Amy would fight like a married couple lololol

Another thing (and this was the game changer) was the fanart and animatics. These became the addiction for me; one comic would lead to me reading another, which lead me to read another and so on. Or I’d find an animatic on YT and watch that and then begin scavenging trying to find more animatics to feed these cravings of sonamy I was beginning to gain all of a sudden.

And it just got worse and worse to the point I practically need a daily dose of Sonamy or I just might go feral

But I mean, how could I not?! YOU GUYS ARE SO GOSH DARN TALENTED AKJDJSJDND

Sadly now my food hath runneth dry over the months…so if any of u like come across anything sonamy pls don’t hesitate to tag me or send it to me pls I need it ajhshsjs

On top of all that, came the brainrot. My growing love for this ship and all the incredible media really sent me into a serious Sonamy delulu era. Literally almost ANYTHING can send me into deep thoughts about those 2, no kidding. I literally planned out in my head an entire story of them a couple days ago. Sometimes it’s a head canon or 2, other times just something extremely wholesome I’ll imagine them do and I’ll be deceased. Those rats live in my head rent free omg-

As I said, ANYTHING can trigger this brainrot; a song, a scene, a quote, a random object…you name it, I’ll come up with a Sonamy headcanon in relation to it.

I can’t also forget other sonic media that also boosted it like game cutscenes and IDW. Lately IDW has been CARRYING it for me with the little Sonamy moments like in the 900th adventure, #67 and other tidbits I’d find in former issues. The amount of frames I’ve seen of them hugging warms my heart waaa🥺🥺

Overall, this fandom has really impacted me and my love for Sonamy. (and sonic in general) all the things I’ve learnt and discovered have made me love them all the more because of it. My life has almost become an Sonamy aesthetic now…I am NOT joking when I tell you my PJs are Sonamy coded, and that was hardly intentional…🤣

Favourite Sonamy moment?

Arrghhh why just one?? Pretty much ANY moment involving those 2 cotton candy hedgies are bound to be my favourite!

Totally not saying this cuz I can’t pick a favourite *cough cough*

Take this, it’s the only Sonamy image I really have in my photo album rn.. (I should be in jail for this)

Its one of my favs so it counts :)

Woowee that just about covers it! Now you know all about my weird and wonderweird love for my favourite ship :D 🩷💙

[nirikeehan]

Happy Friday! ❛ if I keep my eyes closed he looks just like you, but he’ll never stay, they never do ❜ from the Halsey prompts for Meira, Lucanis + Illario 🩵

GOD OKAY this has lived rent-free in my head since you sent it. Idek where this one ended up, but it was a wild ride, thank you.

For @dadrunkwriting

Context: For my You Take the Dread Wolf AU, where Lucanis has peaced out from Antiva to serve the successor organization to the Inquisition codenamed the Aviary. Illario has shown up to try to convince him to come home, but he's too busy dating Meira. XD

WC: 1868

---

The knock at the door was unexpected, and the visitor was even more unexpected. It was the wrong Dellamorte cousin. 

“Illario.” Meira blinked several times. “Is everything all right?” 

“Of course. I just thought you might be lonely with my cousin out of town.” He produced a bottle of wine. “Have a drink with me?” 

Meira narrowed her eyes. “Please don’t tell me you stole that from the wine cellar.” 

Illario looked scandalized. “What sort of barbarian do you take me for?”

Meira debated telling him she had barely gotten Lucanis to stop stealing food from the Grand Cathedral’s kitchens. She thought better of it. 

“I understand this is a very fine vintage from one of the most celebrated wineries in Orlais.” Illario chuckled. “My family owns a number of vineyards in northern Antiva. I always like sizing up the competition. Join me?” 

Before Lucanis had left for his current field mission, he told Meira — in between strapping knives into compartments in his trunk she didn’t know existed — in no uncertain terms: One: do not trust Illario. Two: do not talk to Illario. Three: do not let Illario drink alone. Meira realized now this was contradictory advice, because how was she supposed to keep him from drinking by himself if she didn’t talk to him? 

“Where do you want to go?” Meira asked uncertainly. She hoped he wouldn’t say a bell tower. Or his quarters, Maker forbid. Lucanis had told her plenty about Illario’s reputed seduction skills, with the tense tone of someone worried his customer might find a better deal elsewhere. She had booped his nose and tugged the ends of his hair and said she liked his seduction skills just fine, which seemed to placate him. She wasn’t sure Illario would make a move like that, but then again — she was a direct obstacle to Lucanis returning home to face his grandmother and his birthright.

“We are in one of the most beautiful cities in the world,” Illario said easily. “I know of many terraces where we can sit and watch the night flowers bloom.” He paused, and must have noticed her suspicion. He held his hands up as if in surrender. “I am not suggesting anything untoward, I assure you. There’s simply only so many Chantry services I can sit through under the guise of a pilgrim before I fall asleep.”

Meira leaned against the doorframe, chuckling. “All right, that’s fair.”

“Lucanis is blessed with more devotion to the faith than I. And in his absence, I’d like to better get to know the reason he left Antiva, that’s all.” 

Meira felt her cheeks growing warm. “I’m not the reason he left Antiva.” 

Illario gave her a pointed look. Meira cleared her throat. “Not the only reason.” 

“So come out, and talk to me about it.” Illario flashed a dazzling smile. 

Meira sighed. “Let me get my cloak.” 

Soon they were sitting at a table in one of Val Royeaux’s many public courtyards. Hedgerows surrounded them, and in the center of the courtyard was a bubbling fountain. Masked nobles strode by, arm in arm with their lovers. Every so often someone would happen by and flick a coin into the pool of water. The sounds of laughter and gaiety surrounded them. 

Illario had somehow produced a corkscrew and wine glasses from his person and was pouring the wine for her. It looked black in the dim light. Illario picked up the glass and swirled the wine, gazing out amid the city lights. 

“It’s quite a place, Val Royeaux,” he said, though his voice held a touch of melancholy. 

“Are you homesick?” Meira asked. 

“Oh, terribly. It is so cold here this time of year. And the Orlesian fashions leave something to be desired. I dare say they go too far sometimes. Do you see that woman over there? I think she’s got frogs woven into her hair.” 

Meira laughed. “It does take a smidge getting used to.” Her fingers slinked to the bottom of the wine glass, but she was afraid to drink any. Assassins knew how to poison drinks, right? She doubted Illario would stoop so low, but to hear Lucanis tell it, his cousin had orders to bring Lucanis back to Antiva by any means necessary. 

Illario, however, was taking hefty sips of his glass. “You’re from Nevarra, yes?” 

“Yeah. Outside of Cumberland.” Meira wasn’t sure how much Lucanis had told him, so she went with the safe answer. She wasn’t sure if a master assassin cared much that a girl had grown up on a pirate ship, but did she really want to give him more ammunition? 

“Do you miss it?” 

“Oh, sometimes.” Meira tried not to think too hard of her father. They’d exchanged letters — and he had been notified about the mission where she’d met Lucanis, that had gone so wrong — but she hadn’t seen him for the better part of a year now. “I’ve obviously got reasons to stay here. We’re doing good work. I’ve got friends — and Lucanis.” 

She harped on his name a little too firmly, maybe. Illario sighed, scrubbing a hand down his stubbled face. She’d met him first, and still thought him the more conventionally handsome Dellamorte — something that might make Lucanis die of mortification, if she were to tell him. But where Lucanis was strangely delightful and unexpectedly passionate, Meira found Illario cool, calculated. Lucanis could be scary with his detached, precise approach to violence, but she always had the sense she knew where she stood with him. Not so with Illario.

“Meira, may I be frank with you?” 

“I, er— was sort of hoping you’d been doing that this whole time.” But of course he wasn’t. This genteel behavior was probably all a ploy to get her alone, and spring — what exactly on her? 

“Lucanis — how has he been since he came here?” 

Meira blinked. “How has he been?” 

“You know,” Illario said, except that she didn’t. 

“Um?” 

Illario gestured toward his temple. “In the head.” 

“Oh.” Meira felt second-hand embarrassment for being on the periphery of their feud. “He’s fine.” 

Illario narrowed his eyes. 

“I mean, he’s a little — I know he’s…” Meira struggled to find words that didn’t sound derogatory. “He’s just himself, and I’m okay with that!” She huffed a little. 

Illario sighed. “He told you, I suppose. What made him run away.” 

Run away sounded a touch dramatic, like Lucanis was a wayward adolescent. But Meira supposed he did leave his family home in the middle of the night and then stowed away on a ship for days. She raised her chin, a touch defiantly. “You were going to have him committed.” 

“Me? Oh, of course he’d blame me.” Illario took another gulp of wine and laughed sadly. “Not the toll his experiences have taken on him. I thought he needed a short rest, that’s all.” 

Meira did not like the counterpoint Illario was offering. She swallowed hard. “Look. I know he’s been through a lot. I think a change of scenery has been good for him? And getting to focus on something other than…” She glanced around them. The courtyard looked deserted, but rumor had it Val Royeaux had spies in every corner. She lowered her voice. “His usual. Er. Work.” 

“Oh, yes, he’s espoused the virtues of his new job.” Illario drained the wine and poured himself another glass. “But you know it can’t last.” 

“Why not?” Meira asked, incensed on Lucanis’s behalf. He’d been nothing but dedicated to the Aviary’s mission since joining. Well. Except that time he beat the piss of Jude de Chalons, but that was a minor hiccup, clearly. He was going on missions now. 

“I’ve watched him flit from one fixation to another my whole life, Meira. He gets these — shall we say, obsessions? When he was a child it was animals — dogs, horses, wyverns, birds, snakes, you name it. As he grew older it was other things, some harmless, others — less so. I should have known one day it would be a girl like you.” 

Now Meira was growing angry. “What’s that supposed to mean? ‘A girl like me?’”

Illario gave her a pitying look. “Someone too sweet to know better.” He took a deep, steadying breath. “They all pass. Playing revolutionary will too. There’s one thing he’s truly gifted at. You and I both know what it is. But it limits his path in life, does it not?” 

Meira clutched the stem of her wine glass, trying to keep a lid on her temper. “I think that’s a terribly unfair way to categorize him. Do you ever wondered what he could have become, if he hadn’t been born into your family?” 

“Never,” Illario said, like a dropping guillotine. “It’s a great honor to have been born into our house. A great honor, bearing great responsibility. He doesn’t get to skip out on it just because he’s grown a so-called political consciousness.” 

“I think that’s exactly what he’s done,” Meira said softly. “And who can blame him? I wonder if you don’t sound a little jealous, Illario.” 

“Jealous?” Illario barked, a manic laugh escaping his wine-stained lips. “Oh, yes, I’m awfully jealous of Luca. Sleeping here on these hard pilgrim’s beds, going to Chantry every damn day. Wasting my time freezing my ass off in Orlais when we could be home, getting something done.” He turned a bitter eye to the wine bottle. He poured himself another glass. “While he gets to play hero. While he gets the girl.” He muttered to himself in Antivan, then straightened with an exaggerated inhale. “Darling Meira. Your name sounds like ‘the sea’ in Antivan, did you know that? Did he tell you that?” 

“He didn’t,” Meira said. It was probably time to leave, her instincts were telling her. He was drinking too fast, getting erratic and moody — a bad combo. It occurred to her, for the first time, that perhaps this wasn’t the first bottle he’d opened tonight. 

She withdrew, getting to her feet. Illario reached out and caught her wrist. Not hard— but fast enough it caught her by surprise. Reminding her who it was she was dealing with. 

“Of course not. He doesn’t think of these things. He called Common barbaric on his tongue when we were learning it as children. I had to tutor him for months, just so he wouldn’t be laughed at by our instructors. But do I get any credit for anything I’ve done, Meira? No. As usual.” 

Meira stared at him, trying to understand what it was he wanted. He looked so sad, but any moment she knew his grip could harden, and a blade would appear in the dark. “Will you let me go, please? Illario?” 

Illario blinked several times, as if realizing for the first time what he had done. He released her; Meira wrenched her hand away. “I-I think I’ve got to go now.” 

Illario sighed, putting his head in his hands. “Of course. Of course. I’ve scared you. This didn’t go at all as planned.” His eyes brimmed with tears; he smiled tightly through them. “This wasn’t my intention, I hope you understand. None of it was.” 

That much, at least, she believed. 

[marigoldbaker]

Re: Your tags on that post - I'll bite, what would Briar think of Rakha? :P (Or any of my other OCs. :P ) (Rakha would find BG1 Briar utterly baffling and the subsequent descent into chaos far more understandable, I think. XD Even as she is slowly attempting to enact it in reverse.)

L M A O briar is like . okay. bg3 era briar i still have to get to and figure out but the loose sketch of her right now?? i think the fact that rakha is trying to be better despite having the entire deck stacked against her (as opposed to briar who spent most of bg1 being carried by the rest of her adventuring party like a littol princess) is like a little psychologically upsetting to her. rakha's bluntness would also bug her because she likes people who stroke her ego a little and -- correct me if i am wrong ofc but i somehow suspect rakha's not gonna do that lolol.

i actually think she would find hector super cute hsfkjndskdgsjhdsjgk but she'd be orin levels of unsettling about it by bg3 era, probably.

bg1 briar SIMILARLY does not want shit to do with rakha specifically because i think she's really really really uncomfortably empathizing with that whole Inner Strangeness you Can't Quite Control thing and rakha doesn't mask it in the same way that she does. somehow without the bhaalist thing happening i imagine she doesn't notice hector which. man idek what that says about her. we already knew she had problems though

[cazador-rp]

it has been a long time since I last role-played (literally years) and I used to do it on Twitter. My question is how does it work on Tumblr? Is the rp in the dms or public via this question box or what?

Thank you if you answer

🦇❤️

Hi! 💞 as far as I've seen most roleplay here on Tumblr happen in public via ask box, you send/get sent any type of roleplay prompt or start of conversation (there are blogs who post rp memes and starters for people to reblog so that others can choose a prompt to send from the list, but it's not always required to wait for a prompt list, you can also send/get prompts and starters without having reblogged a post beforehand) and after the answer to that ask the roleplay moves forward through reblogs

Example: you send me an ask saying "Hi" and I answer to that ask with "Hello", at that point if you want to continue the rp you reblog my answer with your own continuation like "How are you", after which I reblog yours with my own continuation and so on and so forth for as long as we want

If a thread happens to get too long after a while (something that might happen, I once had an rp thread go on for months on another rp blog of mine, it was a monster of a thread) you can also make a new post starting with a "Continuation from" or something along those lines (personally I love to use, "Previously on [Name blog/Title rp thread]" but everyone uses what they prefer) with a link to the previous thread so that it starts anew and it's not too long anymore, and of course you can do that as many times as it's needed

As for roleplaying in private in the dms, to me personally it happened only once. The other blog wanted to try out some triggering themes but didn't want to write those things where everyone else could read them so we ended up roleplaying in my dms

I honestly have no idea if it's a common thing or not, but as someone who grew up roleplaying on F*ceb*ok where most rps happened in private chats (some did happen on public posts but no one wanted to risk posting things that might get reported/banned, especially with the group I used to be in where we would often indulge in dark themes, heavy angst, explicit torture and sometimes even NSFW roleplay between our characters) it's not that weird to me so usually it depends on what my roleplay partner prefers

It's very rare for me to feel embarassed or anxious about roleplaying something so I'm always ok with public rp (and yes, even public NSFW rp, though usually I put those kind of things under the read more thing)

Other than that I guess it can change from person to person, maybe some have a preference for private rp and others for public rp, I've seen some who only accept asks from mutuals and keep anon off, but usually each blog has their own rules posted for those things so it's easy to know

I've also noticed two different ways to divide between muse and mun, some people use the "/" when talking as the mun (ex, *Character does/says something* /Omg this was so fun to write XD <- second part is the mun and not the character, usually put a couple of empty lines under the rp) while others use tags (ex, *Character does/says something* *down in the tags #omfg I can't believe he did that #this was so fun to write tho #your answer was so good #idek wtf is going on anymore* and each reblog adds new tags of their own to talk outside the rp as a sort of conversation), personally I've used both depending on what my rp partner prefers (I adapt quite easily) so use whatever you feel is right for you

Now, I'm not a Tumblr rp etiquette professional so there might be things I don't know/forgot to mention/got wrong, but also it's pretty easy to learn once you get into the right circle, I remember the first time I started roleplaying (both here on Tumblr and before on the Book app) I was basically going in blind and just imitating what everyone around me was doing while barely understanding why they were doing certain things until I started learning by observing and got bolder with my own roleplay so don't worry if you don't understand/know everything right away and give yourself some wiggle room to learn and make mistakes here and there

I hope that was useful, and thanks for asking! I'm happy to be of even a little bit help 🤗💞

[ambre-gris]

things got quite triggery in RRRR after marriage (the wizard started saying things a cringey ex used to say to me, ick) so i moved it out of my mods folder for now... before that, i had started running away to lance... although at first i was like "wtf dude, stop stalking me" 😅 a couple of days later, i had a dream of exploring crimson badlands with him, which was super cool. 12 irl hours after that, things had escalated to the point that uhh... we were engaged xD and something (i have like a 100 mods) was preventing me from divorcing the wizard so uhh, horrible things might have happened. ofc, you don't simply divorce the wizard! i still kept my other save where i married him prematurely, so i can explore the story in a better headspace.

but! turned out lance was the stardew husband i didn't know i needed. he's stuffed my inventory with life elixirs, triple shot espresso, rain totems and he's done a fair bit of cooking, too. i've been cracking up when i go on ginger island, meaning to go greet him at fable reef but he's just chilling on the beach in his swimwear xD i always wander around a lot so it's nice to run into your spouse on your travels! squee. plus his 12 heart event T.T <3 worth the grind. i was left a little ambiguous on how i feel about it, because it implied i had broken a promise :( but i rationalized it by saying it's for science and for the good of the species (or several).

and then the dream came true and we faced an apophis! (thank you npc adventures xD) wish i could tame one, they're so cute.. the crimson badlands are crazy... CRAZY COOL that is. idk getting there just made me so tickled i've been happy in real life too. ✨

btw, this whole lance ordeal has involved things such as: having a child before marriage (i spent a night at the highlands outpost before getting married to the wizard because "the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding" XDDDDD idek what went into me, i was a total nutcase), the town thinking it's the wizard's child when it's obviously lance's, but lance himself being clueless... 😂 but it's all good now. i don't know if i can marry anyone else in a new run. he's just so adorable and silly. he says "your visits spark a lot of joy in me", i say i'm a freaking firecracker 🎇🧨

when i'm way up here, it's crystal clear that now i'm in a whole new world with you...

[ilovedthestars]

12 for the WIP ask game because it’s my favorite number. Also 36 because yay multiples

Thank you Artemis!!

12 is a fic I've shared, An Unexpected Quarter. Before i came up with a title for it at the absolute last minute before posting it, the folder it was in was titled "idek what to call this one." (I'm great at working titles.) Murderbot gets captured by the company, with no one to help it, but gets unexpected help from a company tech who takes pity on it. I really like angst but not too much angst, and this is where the perfect balance lies for me--a character thinking all hope is lost, but then it turns out it's not after all! Also, random humans who are in bad situations themselves recognizing the personhood of SecUnits and helping them out even at personal risk is something I enjoy.

36 is a very short wip titled "diff rogue." This is because I keep writing fics about random rogue SecUnits. (Other wips in this theme include working titles "another rogue" and "another about-to-be-rogue secunit bc of course.") (I'm great at working titles.) I haven't looked at "diff rogue" in ages, and poking around at it, there is very little going on here and I'm kind of confused about what this is XD

A snippet of conversation that I'm fairly sure takes place between ART and the titular random OC rogue secunit:

Who are you? I…the file said to contact this code. You are a rogue SecUnit. I don’t know how to answer that. It didn’t occur to me until now that this could be a trap. I assume your silence is an affirmative. I am currently at docking port []. If you can successfully make it there, you will be safe.

You know what, I'm pretty sure this concept was a follow-up to another wip, which is titled Murderbot and Three's Guide to Being a Rogue SecUnit. (gasp, a title!) That one was about MB and Three creating a revised version of the HelpMe.file, and planning to distribute it to other SecUnits that they encountered. So i think the idea for "diff rogue" was that a SecUnit got its hands on the file and the govmod hack, and then tried to track them down based on the "call us and we'll help you get to safety" instructions in the file. All i wrote was a very small amount of this SecUnit being very anxious and ART protecting slash terrorizing it a bit.

This one is probably not going to get finished ever, as the idea was pretty sparse in the first place, but it was fun to revisit!

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I don't think they saw him at least xd

Girl 💀 yeah I don't think so xD

GIRL HE'S THE ALARM O.O

Ahh she's gonna realize they are not with the law on this one lol xD

OOOP LOL GO GUYS

WELL YEAH WHICH OTHER WAY IS THERE TO GO I GUESS!!

But also, bc I glimpsed like two things. . .

:OOOOOO AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :DDDDD :))) 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🥰🥰🥰🥰👏👏🥳

Anyway we'll see :)))

Now I'll pretend I don't know

:OO??

UHH BUCK XD?

I hope you have a plan lol

(but also. . . I feel like I would say this anyway)

TOMMY O.O 👀??

Let me dream <33

OOPE-

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH :OOO

IS THAT A HELICOPTER I HEEARRRR :DDDD

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥳🥳🥳 :OOOO O.O O.O :DD!!!!!!!

SHOW ME MY BOYYYY!!!!

I mean TECHNICALLY we don't have confirmation yet but-

"YOU CALLED YOUR BOYFRIEND?" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

AND THE FACT THAT ATHENA EITHER DOESN'T KNOW THEY BROKE UP OR DOESN'T CARE 💀💀 XDD

"EX BOYFRIEND" YEAHH LOL BUT WHATEVER!!!!!

UAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 🥰🥰🥰

WHY IS THIS MAN PULLING UP TO COMMIT FELONIES!!!!!!??

ICONIC I LOVE IT BUT LOL

Meanwhile Moira just like "what the freak" XDD

Anyway MINUTIAE HE'S HERE :DDDD 🥳🥳

The wave and smile lol

Kinda a smile

Heheee :)))

Almost seeing him 🥰🥰🥰

Nahh lol you're getting in there girl

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH THERE HE ISSS 🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!

Hi Tommy 🥰!!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH LOLL :)))))

OPE YUP y'all better go o.o

STOPPP I'm just dying like WHAT XDD

Tommy like ohh my goshh what have I walked into 😭😭

You are SO not over him lol <3333

This is just so insane like XDD icons??

Yeahh you're getting in lol

GIRL THERE IS NOT TIME FOR THAT 💀💀

Are you like calling to say "hey I got this lead" and try to exonerate yourselves or like what xD

OOOP crapp o.o

OHHH NOO LOL

THEY'VE SEEN Y'ALL AT THE VERY LEAST XD

They know you got an LAFD chopper 😬😬

You should've left earlier xD

But nahh they would've found out anyway lol

Byeee guysss :))

Guys have you ever committed federal crimes and gone on the run from the FBI for your ex? Just him? Cool

xD

Anyway lol

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH 🥰🥰

Ooop though y'all lol

Still wondering who Athena called xD

OHHHH CRAPP 😭😭😭 THAT IS NOT GOOOOOD

HEN NO MATTER WHAT THIS IS NOT ON YOU BUT ALSO, IF YOU CAN THINK OF ANYTHING 😭😭😭!!!

OHHH NOOOO

GIRLYYYY

NOO YOU CAN NOT GET UP!!

GIIIIRL WHAAAT 😭😭😭😭 :OO????

HONEY STOP 😭😭!!!

YESS EXACTLY

OKAY WHATEVER GO FOR IT 😭😭!! HE'S IN WORSE SHAPE I GUESS xdd

Okayy okay D:

Oough yeah o.o

Yeah worry about sterile later 😭😬

Ope gosh o.o??

Ohh okay I see yeah :O

OKAYY COME ONNN

COME ONNN HENNN 😭😭

COME ON CHIMNEYYYY!!

COME ON ALL OF Y'ALL 😭😭😭!!

COME ONN

OH THANK GOODNESS!!!

I just hope he doesn't wake up because this cannot be comfortable- ah well whatever xdd

Yeah you're not supposed to be up :'))

And hopefully she's okay O.O for being in there I mean

Ahh because he doesn't know what happened :')) :'o o.o

AAAHHHH yesss :')) update this poor woman 😭 not y'all's fault at all just saying yk xd

:O OHH DID HE-

YEPPPP HE GOT A CALL FROM ATHENA :'DDDD 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰🥰

Athena like "you'll never guess how but 😑" XD

OKAY YESSSS

But guys. y'all xd. How are you going to get in xD

I don't think you can just crash the helicopter through the roof 😭 xD

Again unless y'all are gonna hold someone hostage or something lol

Maybe her?

Like Moira?

Or try and convince them to let you since she can make another one? Idek xdd

AAAHHHHHHH hi loveliesss 🥰🥰🥰

The green makes it easy to green screen lol (not easy but yk) xD-

AAAAAHHHHHH OOOP O.O

Bucktommys we are winning

OOP yeah fair, he's doing this for Chimney

And gosh that was harsh o.o like the way he said it xd understandable though xD y'all are not on the best of terms somehow despite seeming to be on the outside lol

We're still winning btw that was not contingent on what Buck said xD

Helppp lol yeah fair

AAAAGHHHHH THAT LOOOOOOK!!! BROOO YOU ARE SO STILL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER <333

(Moira and Athena watching this like: 👁️👄👁️😑? xD I know they can't hear lol but)

:OOOO UAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH 👀👀👀👀😳😳���🤭 WE STAY WINNINGGG 🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!

AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH :'DDDDD 😳😳🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭👀👀👀🥰🥰🥳🥳

Guys losing it <333

This is worth it no matter what happens 😌😌 (nobody better die though 😭😭😭😭😤)

AAAAHHHHHHH 🥰🥰

OOOPP lol this againn xD

Tommy like ahh alright flashbacks to the hurricane :/!

XD icon frankly

More fake mouth static more fake mouth static :))?

Loll yeah it's the army this time 💀💀

OOP okay go off :D

Saying it's the orders lol

Bro is so brave to just say negative xD I'd be like umm. . . um well. . xD

Y'all are all crazy and insane and brave lol o.o

BOY orders from who xDD your ex slkdjls?

Unless we called in higher ups favors as well xDD

Or Athena could count I suppose lol

Ooop named and everything o.o, 😬😬

Loll no he won't xD

What are they gonna do shoot you out of the sky??

OPE well maybe o.o

Nahh y'all got the cure remind them of that xD

Oop that does not look good though o.o

Idk what y'all are gonna do when you get there though if you even make it xdd

UHH OHHH o.o

Yeeahh 😬😬

"We" 🥰🤭 anyway

Not?

LOLL :OO "Something incredibly stupid" ICONNN O.O XDD!!

Stopp he looks so happy with that lol

OHHH GOSH

Wait are Moira and Athena even on o.o? Did they hide and go somewhere else or something? I just feel like we would've heard from them by now xD

Hmm maybe, y'all could definitely be the distraction o.o

ARE Y'ALL GONNA LAND IN THE STREET OR SOMETHING O.O??

Okay doesn't seem to be xD

Uhh ohhh

Ohh goshh crappp 😬

Why does it more look like a person on like a Star wars speeder lol

Ooop O.O ohh goshh okay 😬😬

See and y'all are army but have you been army and fought fires from a helicopter xD

Also everyone down below wondering like huh. What isg align on up there? xD

Uhh ohhh 😬😬 okayy go Tommy go Tommyyy

Is Tommy gonna end up getting arrested and like we continue to follow our heroes through the end as their allies drop one by one to forward their mission 😬👀?

This ain't gooood

You are committing so many crimes for this lol

Ope are we about the cut o.o- nope just the music lol

Come onnn 😬😬

CRAPPP

OH GOSH O.O!!

THIS DOESN'T SEEM GOOD XDD

Aghh yeah are we landing 😬😬

Ahh yep :(((

Good run though guys o.o!!

Made it worse for yourselves but kept it going longer xdd

Kept distracting mayhaps 👀?

Ooop yeah I think far is a good thing

Ooope?

We pulling up to harbor station or something lol? Just going back home xD? I mean home turf yk

Everyone on the street like "why is there a helicopter chase going on right now?" LOL xD

OOPEE :O A STADIUM

Oh dang O.O

And y'all flying LOW too o.o!!

Well at least y'all found a place to land xD

Ohh goshhh-

Ohhpe crap y'all are about to get arrested xdd

I mean makes sense they wouldn't just hold y'all but lol

OOOPE OH G O S H O.O

OH MY G O S H GUYS I C O N I C XDDD

Oh my gosh they are so iconic lol

Also HELP IT'S THE COLOSSEUM??!!

The fire and everything o.o xD

Now when do they realize you don't have them/it xD

They were awful risky with that helicopter chase thinking you had it lol

That's another reason they didn't take you down I suppose xD

Oh my gosh 💀 XDD

Y'all are fr about to get arrested by two hundred people O.O XDDD

Mostly bc they think they have the thing though and I really don't believe they do

Oope 😬😬 they don't have ittt lol

Good luck y'all 😬😬!

This is certainly crazy lol

. . . I won't say it- okay I will

. . . coming out slfjhdks

Goodness forbid queer men do anything 🙄 xD

Oopee :O so she is here!

Lol Tommy just casually "watch your head :/" while staying put xD

Nooope she's not theeere xD

Y'all gonna bother telling them lol?

😬😬

Also Tommy just chilling still there like there were two more technically lol but he wasn't here for the beginning xD he was a contract worker yk lol

YEAAHHHHH SHE'S GOOONEE :DDDDD

LOLL AAHHHH BUCK'S SMILEEEE

Y'all they got you 😎😎

Somebody let them be mock criminals to train people lol

Y'all are iconic <3

[combeferres-mothematics]

ANOTHER fic question hehehehe....im so interested in ur Joly sick fic actually....did he manage to diagnose himself!! Did no one believe him until he actually started showing clear symptoms and he was like "I told you so!! 🤮🤮"....and...is he gonna get better? 🥺

LKJAFSKJHLSLFHALKJFHSAGLK OKAY YOU'RE GONNA BE IN FOR A RIDE. I have not only one, but multiple (this remains to be known how many) Joly sickfics XD

Once again below a cut because... I'm scared of how many I'm going to find in my drafts- (Sickfics mayyy be my favorite thing to write)

Even the Darkest Nights will End (I shortened the title significantly here lmao) - The one I talk about the most, and thought was ALMOST done... almost 2k words ago... (Enjolras, Joly, and Grantaire are now bothering Combeferre for stickers, so idek what's happening anymore) The summery is quite old, I think I wrote it 300 words in, and with a 103 degree fever (which is how this whole fic started tbh) XD This has also been one of my pet projects since... uhh... january? so there's a LOT of lore

It starts out with him just sitting in bed trying (keyword trying) to sleep, he's already very clearly ill, He's already home tested himself for several different things, and they all came back negative, so he's very adamantly trying to convince himself that it's just a cold, nothing worse. He's banished Bossuet to a different bed in hopes that he won't get sick (He will. It's inevitable, they share EVERYTHING), and he's feeling very lonely :((

And I've noticed, at least in my experience, that anxiety about these things is SO MUCH worse when it's the middle of the night, and everyone's asleep, and you don't want to wake anyone up to talk you down from thinking it's worse than it really is. This is the really angsty part of the fic if you can't tell already XD

Plus, a little snippet, I don't think I've shared anywhere yet! (do be warned mentions of worrying about throwing up)

Enter Enjolras: He's working late, and when he sees Joly he's very worried he's getting a lecture on healthy sleep habits (I say as if I know what good sleep habits are) And then as soon as he sees that Joly's been crying he instantly launches into "Oh shit my friend is anxious time to fuss over them" mode"

He and Joly proceed to have a very nice conversation that was surprisingly theraputic to write (I may have projected just a tad), and then Enj decides he's going to get Joly a little something small to eat. at 4am. Leading to one of my favorite scenes here XD

And now we have Combeferre!! :D And Joly's feeling a bit more cheerful now that he's not alone, left to stew in his anxiety.

I forgot I wrote this, but now I'm cackling over the mental image of lost duckling Enjy

Combeferre quickly banishes Enjolras because he's hovering, and things get angsty for a minute again (NOT RELATED TO THE BANISHMENT OF ENJ)

And here's Enjolras being autistic about the way Ferre's clothes smell :)

And then everything is good again, and Joly and Enj manage to convince Ferre to give them a sticker (And then Grantaire comes in to be like "If you give me a sticker too, I won't tell any of the others you gave out stickers")

And that's where this one ends off, so far lol. Joly does in fact get better in this one :D

AND THEN WE HAVE THIS ONE :D (don't mind the title or summery, I started it after being awake for 30+ hours)

This one is nowhere near as developed as ETDNWE, but it's a Everyone Lives, No One Dies au set in canon era, about ehhhhhh, maybe 3-5 months after the barricades? I'm still researching when Cholera ended there, and I think I found that there was another, very small jump in cases around Nov. 1832 (where all of them died), but don't quote me on that, I haven't looked at those sources in a while, so I could be misremembering.

Joly ofc is very nervous when the symptoms here start, since.. Cholera. But Bossuet keeps trying to gently assure him it's going to be alright/maybe it's just anxiety

But then things are worse by morning, and Joly scares the absolute Crap out of Bossuet by refusing to tell him what he thinks he has. He KNOWS. what it is though, he's seen it enough times for there to be no mistake whatsoever.

And Bossuet proceeds to leave the house before even getting dressed (Though he does grab his hat on the way out) And heads to go to the house on Rue Plumet to find Enjolras, who ofc will know where Combeferre is, cutting down the search time significantly.

(This is indeed and Enjosette siblings au as well)

And that's about as far as I've plotted for that one. and as for if Joly will be alright... >:3 We will see. *ominous voice*

Ty for the ask!! :D I always love discussing the sickfics XD, and now I'm very workpilled for both of them, so we'll see how that goes-

[forgottenarias]

KATE! I love this so muuuch!!! I love the description of kil-kennar! i had sort of been imagining it as being in a mountain range similar to the dolomites? i think i just have this vision of that mountain range with the surrounding lowlands and it seems like it would fit?! sort of like you can maybe even see kil-kennar from a great distance but even seeing it still means you have QUITE a trek to get there! (which def seems like something that would be in a pilgrimage? haha!) also the idea that it wasn't necessarily easy to get to makes sense as to why Lena wasn't able to just ignore Dom and still take Aria to see Aine-- it was probably a whole production to get the queen and princess there safely?

i love the idea that there was some sort of learning center there for other seers, and maybe it was even a place people came from even outside astaira since we know other places weren't necessarily as kind to seers as astaira could be! also since the religion wasn't necessarily as widespread as it once was, it seems like having a place where the traditions were kept seems like it would just sort of naturally form?? (and probably helped with keeping the guardians strong all these years!)

AND THE LIBRARY!! omg i bet aria desperately wanted to go there when she was older! and the tragedy of losing that! :((( omg tho imagining the scholars just feeling into the mountains with whatever they could carry! maybe some of the information about how the guardians managed to block the gods from coming into their world was what escaped so asp SOMEONE could find something about the 'locks' that exist? its like a scavenger hunt for all the info!!!

random thought but i feel like at one point there was mention of/maybe mostly just a joke about Bran having a brother who was like a hermit in the forest or something? if that DID ever become a thing.... maybe he was a scholar at kil-kennar or smth and had taken some sort of vow like a monk or whatever and was one of the ones who absconded with some of the sacred texts!

i also just really love the idea of the chapterhouse with all the family benches! <3 and arthur going in there and sitting on the stafford bench SOOOOB!! i'm realizing that was aria maybe the one who would have cast the vote for Eilia to be queen for the stafford family?! now i'm emo thinking about she and arthur sitting on that same bench years apart and she's voting to make her sister queen and then arthur is assisting in removing Eilia from the throne!!

i know we'd sort of talked about it being some sort of important route or whatever but do we think maybe, along with being this center for spiritual learning, etc, that maybe it was an important trading city as well? like rather than going COMPLETELY over the mountains, merchantsf rom like malconaire would go to Kil Kennar instead and then they could trade with... whomever it on the other side of the mountains?! i'm gonna need a cartographer to create me a map of astaira STAT haha! XD

another thought is like... what exactly has happened to kil kennar since then?? like it is mostly abandoned since anyone who would be caught trying to practice their religion would be burned immediately? is it like a military outpost? idek if this matters but its the world building!!

also arthur's taking of kil-kennar is WILD and i think it probably drives Marian INSANE that everyone is like 'oh edmund with this military tactics at malconaire turning the tides of the war!' and she's like 'my son literally sent people crawling up the side of a mountain!!!' ugh! the whole witch business frustrates her so much! (also not really the point but i do think asp aria's going to confront him abt this-- i think she might have during the riots if he hadn't been pulled away but she def thinks about how he said he didn't want to be the butcher and i think she just wants to hear from him what happened? which could be interesting bc she might interpret that as having sympathy for seers like her which could have some repercussions!)

OOC | What was at Kil-kennar?

ok so kate said

phabblebabbles 3d @quillington We haven’t discussed much abt Kil Kennar I guess beyond it being where the High Seeress lived BUT it could also have/had her acolytes who maybe were able to save some of the ancient texts before Kil Kennar fell???

and i realized like!!!!!! that we never like...talked about it???? lasjkdfkljsdf so i wanted to launch a full discussion!!!

so i ~do have some hc's that i thought id pop up here (in no particular order) which we may or may not want to use but can at least get us chatting!!

but ~first, some things we ~have established

its the religious center of the astairan faith

its effectively its own ~county but w a chosen ~high seer~ as its lord/lady rather than a great house

its high up in the mountains

its a fortress that was (pre!arthur) considered nigh impregnable (i have some madness in mind a la a certain alexander the great re how he did ~that which...i don't think ive ever actually talked abt!!)

its at a v strategic spot and ik we had ideas as to why but idr them atm alksjdfjsdf i think it had to do w being able to command both sea lanes ~and passages through the natural land barrier that is the mountains -- also there's def both the symbolic and the morale component w it being the faith center etc but i feel like it had the big north-to-south pass besides the fens in those mountains and kil-kennar protected/commanded that kinda thing or smth?? maybe it was the east to west...idk...

it has a huge ~chapterhouse where representatives from every county in the country can meet -- and i ~think we said its where the vote is cast for the ruler?? and/or the ~high seer?? but idr that distinctly

i think?? that's everything we've already decided abt it?

ok so like when i ~first envisaged kil-kennar i was heavily inspired by carcassone but like extreme edition -- this sprawling fortress built ~into the mountains and like...you trip off the tower you will be falling foreverrrrr its up there in the clouds pr much

ok so let me just get my vision of the siege of kil-kennar out of the way!

THE SIEGE OF KIL-KENNAR & THE EAGLE'S FEATHERS

ok so basically my thought was that our boy arthur went through his army and found the best rock climbers and pulled them out of the army, having them go a different way, trekking through the almost impassable mountain rocks and clefts itself rather than the narrow passages the main army took, so that the ppl of kil-kennar would never see them at all

then w the soldiers he had left, he sent the usual expected thing of a useless assault on the walls, including improvised siege ladders and towers etc but this was mostly to distract them (tho arthur himself was the first to mount the walls before the invaders from behind got there, even tho he was quickly repelled) from the fact that his real forces weren't assaulting the manmade part of the fortress but, rather, scaling the sheer rockface of the mountain and speed climbing and rapelling inside from the most impregnable part of the walls, from which point they attacked, opened the gates to arthur's troops outside them, etc, and thus the fall of kil-kennar. i do think there was a traditional siege component for awhile before hand tho-- supposedly tryna starve them out etc esp bc i think it took awhile for everyone to assemble and messages to relay between arthur's split forces etc

like alexander the great, arthur def offered big rewards to the first several to get there too given the huge risks of the whole thing and probs ~did say smth a la alexander the great that: "Nature has placed nothing so high, that valor cannot overcome it. It is by trying what others have despaired that we have [an Empire] in our power." (i think alexander the great was an ass but he really went off w that speech huh) arthur probs ended his vers of that w a crusader-esque cry of smth along the lines of 'the god wills it' and there we go

ik this sounds insane but its really happened so i feel perfectly justified! im referencing Alexander the Great's legendary Siege of the Sogdian Rock (or of the Rock of Ariamazes there're disagreements etc yknow ancient history be like that kladsjflkjsdf -- the whole thing tbf ~is shrouded in hella legend but i say its fair game here!) and his famous Flying Soldiers (besides there was a siege of a city in Sicily by the tyrant Dionysius I of Syracuse where smth similar -- if less impressive bc siege ladders -- also happened). [ "In a siege of a mountaintop fortress, Alexander offered prizes to soldiers who climbed towering cliff faces in the fastest time. Dozens of men died attempting to scale the sheer walls, but others made it to the top using a[n improvised] combination of iron spikes [tent pegs] and linen ropes—techniques still used by climbers today." ]

"'[W]hen they came to very steep places, some grasped projecting stones with their hands and pulled themselves up, others made their way by using nooses of rope, still others drove wedges between the stones and made steps on which to stand.' But without modern safety equipment like belays, harnesses and carabiners, Alexander’s men were one misstep away from disaster, and at least 30 men died attempting the ascent. 'They spent a day amid fear and toil. After having struggled over rough places, still harder ones awaited them, and the height of the rock seemed to grow. That indeed was a pitiful sight, when those whom their unsteady step had betrayed were hurled down a sheer drop; and the example of others’ disaster showed that they must soon suffer the same fate.'"

arthur was def expecting to be known as like ~the eagle of kil-kennar~ or smth after this fabulous exploit esp w his eagle and winged sun imagery and his troops' apparent ability to fly etc but instead he got butcher of kil-kennar bc ppl focused in on the beheading and not the marvelous and innovative military tactics he pioneered alkdjsfjdf and now his not!gf (he thinks) hates him for it LKSDAJFLSJKDF its rough being arthur ;DDDDD

i feel like arthur's 'flying troops' did fare better than their leader that way and got nicknamed the eagle's feathers from there on out -- thanks, guys!! a special new branch (or should i say...wing ;DDDDD) of arthur's pre-existing order of the dawn (bc yes he did battlefield knight everyone who was brave enough to dare that climb, no matter their rank -- even if you fell to your death you did so as a knight, and a knight of the dawn, at that! and if you were lucky and survived ur to this day sir so-and-so even if you started a peasant and arthur thinks that's incredibly egalitarian of him to have done laksjdfkjds)

but i feel like their thrilling, death-defying exploit probs ~was pr widely circulated throughout the empire esp as damage control for the whole beheading a witch and subsequent rioting thing laksjfjdskf but idk that it got v attached to ~arthur himself and was probs more just a cool thing that ~house varmont~ (lowkey implied twas the emperor himself no doubt...) did which ngl def does irk arthur HE WANTED THAT CREDIT!!!!!! lkajdsfjksdfj instead he's just a butcher laksdjfkljdsf ;DDD

also genuine question -- why hasn't anyone made a movie abt the siege of the sogdian rock????????? like this just feels like prime for that but anyway alsdkjflkjsdf

PONTENTIAL PRE-CONQUEST USES OF KIL-KENNAR?? (aka the actual point of this whole post...)

ok so like i was sort of thinking of the fortress of kil-kennar ig as like...ig kinda like a medieval monastery? this haven of learning and prayer that's like this really remote but incredible place sorta living outside the regular run of time kinda thing??? ~lay ppl may or may not live there as well but like sort of a religious retreat kinda vibe???? but also obv a center of pilgrimage and a restful place in these treacherous mountains where you can stop and given offerings to the guardians and get a hot meal and a good sleep etc before continuing your way across, kinda thing?

and/or maybe it was a university of some sort??? like iirc our girl @forgottenarias took a retreat there w her mom while dom was still king to help her learn abt being a seer? and, while aria's situation was secret, maybe smth it offered lotsa benefits for seers seeking to learn? so according to [ lizzy's og post abt witchery <3 ], there is 1 general thing that all witches get which is the ability to ~see the guardians~ (unless ur @forgottensaoirse ;D), but from there guardians can also gift you further low level magics, healing and/or premonitions so!! im thinking that maybe there were sort of...for lack of a better term...courses where you could learn to manage the sight and more advanced classes on magical healing and interpretting dreams and visions and such?? or even if not formal training sm then like...a bunchfof seers for emotional support/advice etc?? idk i just feel like astaira is v much a helpful place so having a place for banding together to work through this stuff just feels like smth they'd have?? esp bc it can be so confusing/scary but is also simultaneously so important/revered!!!

i also feel like, since we established that the head seer and the ruler occasionally have clashes and such, the chapterhouse might also lowkey serve as a court for them and that sort of thing as well as like a teaching place for doctrine and such but also oracle of delphi-esque readings and proclomations and such!

also yesssss deffffffff think there were acolytes and non-lay folk aplenty!!!!! and also a MASSIVE library, not just religious tho probs tHE biggest religious library in all astaira would have been located there i would guess, etc!! but full of all kinds of subjects! history, magic, you name it! still think the biggest number of astronomic books was at stafford for reasons and the biggest natural history section probs at malconaire etc buT i feel like astaira is all abt learning and so i feel like all these places have massive libraries!!!!

also roderick defffff burned all magic/religious books that weren't smuggled out!!!! an id i love love love the idea that some ~were!!!!!! ppl risking their lives to save this precious information SOB <3 hopefully some of it can be gotten into the right hands eventually...i can see aria, @forgottenbrigit , saoirse, and any other seers benefitting from it big time too, should they ever get their hands on it!

anyway idk!! just some thoughts...as always i defffff feel like ive left smth out but i can't think what it was so we're gonna just! go w it! laksdjflksdf id looooooove to hear everyone's thoughts on this/hcs of your own etc!!!! i feel like there's sm worldbuilding we can do here lajsldfkdsf <3333333

[castle-dominion]

c3x24 knockout. Wasn't the last episode in this storyline knockout too? No, knockdown.

Plot heavy episode, after all, it is the finale.

RC: Hey, guys, I could use a hand. *Esposito & Ryan applaud* Ryan wearing a sweater again. Weekly is v often. their faces drop when they mention him

The ring <3 Lol the "special" & the "usual" & the excellent choice madame. I love it. An hour ago today? Why they all cheering? Oh bc he's the cop. "He" was going to get around to me Ugh he gives him a minute & lays down politely, like this is honestly so respectful of a murder. He's have more blood probably. I remember looking like that. I am now remembering that. You know, for weeks, possibly even a month or several months I could smell blood. The first day, even the first week bc i was still healing, I thought that the smell of blood was just there for real. The bathroom must have smelled like metal; iron & copper; idk how my family didn't notice anything. Maybe it was all in my head now that I think about it. Then later I realized that it was just a hallucination. Sometimes I'd get a whiff of blood & it would remind me of that night, other times I would remember it & suddenly I could smell it. Again, in the earlier days I thought that maybe the smell was real & I just didn't notice it until I thought about it. Figuring out I was getting hallucinations shocked me. Did I just give myself ptsd? I wish I had a photo. I considered it but my phone was in the other room & I wasn't going to go get it. All that blood. Looking back, even tho I'm (sort of) clean now, I want that photo. I wanted a reference for murder scenes in my writing or in drawing, I wanted to see the progress of what I had done, now that I can't remember it as well I want to know what it really looked like & how far I actually got. I used to get nauseous every time I thought about it, even though I was fine with gore. Now all I have is the scar. You know, I used to make jokes when picking raspberries or cutting beets, I said it looked like a murder scene. During this time I realized how wrong I was. Anyway I wrote a fictional story basically transcribing my experiences, just so I'd have a record of it if my memory faded, it was already getting muddy when I wrote it. Now reading it I can barely see it. I remember it though. I remember it. At least I don't get blood olfactory hallucinations anymore. Back to the episode!

Wow it's been four months? Yeah he has an employer. idek who that employer is. Wait if she was 16 & it's been 12 years then she's only 28... alexis is 17 & if he had her at minimum 18 that would be 35 minimum. Well that fits the half plus seven rule. She's 28? 21x2=42 which sounds just as accurate for castle tbh. Yeah cool. Tho tbh the half plus seven rule does fall apart the more you age since people's brains still go thru development phases even tho the most & biggest were from ages -1 to 25.

He technically isn't hal lockwood hence why they called him john doe. OH NO FLASHBANGS. Those things are not good. Even the guys breaking him out would have been affected, even if they covered their ears & closed their eyes. (You only have two hands, two would have to be for your ears & so all you can do is close ur eyes & even so it is bright & loud & there is a physical boom. She asks "where" but how does the lady know what she means? Where is it safe? Where did they go? Where are you hurt? Poor helicopter guy. was he piloting?

Just like, check ur inbox? Can't be real names, must be code. That's why espt made that face! Just like my Mumma! She has her emergency radio license or smth like that. She's the one who taught me the nato phoenetic alphabet. Having seen this. His face when the third cop is mentioned. they were just talking abt street justice cops & monty is saying they should take him out rn rn.

JE: He says he wouldn’t have even known anybody had used it if it weren’t for the bullet holes. XD Does she know or is she speculating? No ofc she is not, but she is ok enough & ok enough to work.

Jim Beckett! & This will be the scene from the deleted scenes in the previous episode. You're so right Mr Beckett. Her life is def worth more than her mom's death. I love Jim sm. Here is his quote btw: What happens when she finds him? I’ve already lost my wife over this. I’ve already lost – (he stops) No, look. It took me years, but I’ve made my peace with that. But Katie? She won’t listen to me. And she won’t back down. Not unless someone can convince her that her life is worth more than her mother’s death.

& wow both her parents are lawyers, she was even considering becoming a lawyer. No wonder she's so pretty & educated.

Didn't sleep at all or slept a little bit? No, not Ryker!

He gon be dead. Yep he dead.

That's why the wound is so bad, GSWs are so much worse in the exit wound Death fist 4 poster (btw I like how ryan takes off his tie & stuff when he wears his vest, unbuttons a bit)

See? If u treat someone with respect then they respect u too. Aw that's actually kinda sweet. Crushing on Beckett.

Ok our theory is currently that the third cop is the employer, the one holding lockwood's leash Ok that's valid you've been angry over johanna's death for twelve years but also ryan was frickin tortured by this guy I think he wants him around as much as u do, esp since he's also mad on your behalf (tho ig she could also be mad on his behalf then...)

I like ryan's elbow patches. (Suit tie & jeans) What was that little look from ryan? Keep in mind I've seen this before, when I say this: {RM is encouraging them to find the third cop, claiming that the 3c must have the money to hire dick coonan to clean up the mess} Yeah they've been here all day & between the four of them a six pack isn't too much. It's late. They deserve it. JE walking in with a case of beer behind his back: Sir. Uh, I know we're still officially on duty, but RM: Authorized KR: Sláinte (health in Gaeilge; pronounced slAn-chuh)* RC: Nice work. Ooh, those are cold. These are really cold. KR : Yeah, we keep them in evidence, refrigerated storage. (they just keep booze in refrigerated evidence storage??) RC: Isn't that where you keep the-- JE: Don't worry about it. RC: (*Irish Gaelic is pronounced (in English) 'gay-lik'. The (Scottish) Gaelic name for (Scottish) Gaelic is Gàidhlig, pronounced 'gaa-lik', not to be confused with the Irish (Gaelic) name for Irish (Gaelic), which is written Gaeilge and pronounced 'gail-gyuh'.) (clipping)

Beer: *casually reveals smth* Calls him a dirtbag SOB, {like my dude, y r u sending em out to find that info?} ((We get to see the meeting in a future season!)) Love. Everyone knows they love each other.

That rubber tree plant The kiss was for a disguise & frozen in each other's arms was for wamrth & bc friends can do that too! She's right tho, it IS her life. (just like the s8 premier) It is the end of s3 so it has been 3 years now? (maybe 2.5 bc the first season was short?) You deserve to be happy, but in that tone? Ooh How over? He is not going to abandon you.

Man's angry! Martha <3 <3 I can see how he might feel it is his fault even tho he's not the one trying to kill everyone. He drug it back up. (could clip but I won't)

I love when she calls him by his first name, it is so intense & personal, he is her second dad. He supports her so much so well. He really is good for her, helping her laugh, bringing in outside ideas... Hug her. acab lol But seriously hug her. You are her dad.

Old guys, probably retired they say. Miami! Wow ryan's cheekbones in this lighting... KR says he DOESN'T believe a "badge" is behind this. (Metonymy) {keep this detail in mind} (But then ryan is the first to crack abt you know who)

Oh no he's the third cop isn't he? {yeah he is} lol order off the menu (so roy made a deal with The Big Bad Guy to protect beckett) He would SO be found out B'y god's got nothing to do with this

What about the son? The way u hold someone intimately lets you put a thumb over their lips & kiss them That's an old timey gun. I like it. Another old timey gun.

Wow it's already been all day! Nothing eventful happened all day... At least miami dade got back to them this evening. Going out w/o telling her? I mean ok.

Big sad.

Bro's still wearing an nypd sweatshirt? Tight is a good word. Some rookie? Young enough to not be retired yet Could he have maybe misremembered the name if there were 40 others he needed to know the names of too & it's been 10 years? Montague maybe? He looks so baby *gulp* Rips up the photo, tbh that's rude

[JE is walking out into the alley] KR Hey! You know it's him. (He looks like he's about to cry.) Montgomery's our third cop. He's the one who altered those records. JE How can you even say that? How can you even think that?! Montgomery brought us on to Homicide! What do we got? A picture!?! KR (whispered/strained) Think about it. (Nromal but strained) Why else did he want us to take Lockwood out? Because Lockwood leads us to him! (Hun he told u to go after the third cop.) He's been lying to us. (Espt also looks like he might cry.) He's been lying to us the whole time. [JE shakes his head, mouthing what I think is "I'm out" & turns around to start walking away.] KR Hey! [Ryan grabs Espt's shoulder] JE Get off me! [Espt punches Ryan & turns around again. They fight. KR grabs him from the back & pushes him into the wall/truck/whatever that thing is. Espt pushes around & gets Ryan pinned to the truck with his hands on his shirt. & not in a sexy way. JE is yelling, holding KR's face & has his fist next to his head.] KR Go ahead! Go ahead! [JE throws Ryan's head to the side as he lets him go. They both lean against the wall, breathing heavily. They both look emotionally ruined.] KR Beckett.

AAAAAAGHHDSKJFSDHJ THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE & then they just don't talk about it.

Please don't let him be the one to kill her Girl set ur phone to vibrate, u'r a cop, this stuff can be dangerous. Why cock the gun? You can't put your family thru going to jail but this happens? (So babe you uh, don't they have ballistics for all nypd guns? when they pull the slug?)

A second chance <3 Who is the "he" They might have come even if Beckett didn't show up, as long as he said he got her there. Then again, they were probs watching. He is her dad so much Good on him to bring in Castle (of all people, he brought castle, even after kicking castle out) Oof this is where I stand They probs saw three figures there & probs even know he means to kill them. Castle is great he just picked her up like that! She was flailing & kicking & he just did what the captain said! Beauty!

(so lockwood has a bunch of people here too? Lockwood is not The Only One y'all) So there are four ppl there. Didn't they kill the two guys with Lockwood during the previous relevant episode? KB & RC came in to save JE & KR & they ended up shooting two of lockwood's people? Now lockwood has four more. Shoot from the hip... RM: You got that ass-backwards, boy, you can't hide from me.

love how they brought back the ass backwards line How did he shoot all of them so fast? Also with a gun like that wouldn't he have to cock it every time? Or maybe not, it was old fashioned, not old. It probably has the mechanism set so that the back thingy & the trigger are attached to pull back too. lockwood got shot, he's back up & running now? Love the music btw. Noooo not behindy! I saw to that. You're done, Lockwood, we both are. & that's why he had a sixshot & a second gun! ...Which was just up his sleeve like that & definitely dangerous

How did u know that was the last shot? What if lockwood was still alive (again) & now he's coming to kill you? At least she is wearing short heels Check his pulse maybe?

Lol acab. I'd just as well watch the Helena music video.

Is this beckett's apatment? I can't tell. Family. Doesn't include his legal family tho apparently. & you have accepted castle back? You know it's weird, Espt & Ryan are like Becket's little brothers (& big brothers) sometimes, they give Castle the cold shoulder in defense of Beckett; other times they are brothers with Castle, they have said "mom & dad [are] fighting" as if caskett is a relationship & those two are the kids, sometimes the captain is the dad. It's just so good to me. So good. Found family is lowkey cliche but I love it still. (But this means u can't tell alexis, martha, lanie, jim, or anyone, bc they are extended "family" not immediate "family" right?)

Who's the guy behind Espt there? Also why didn't Esposito shave?? I feel like Castle should be wearing a hat, just to fit in. Not a hat like theirs, but some sort of trilby maybe. Tbh I really like seeing the pigs in their blankets. Not only because I like fancy stuff (I say wearing the same dirty jeanjacket with holes in it like some crustpunk) but also bc I like seeing them in hats, speaking as a hat wearer myself. & who's the guy behind Ryan?

Crying quietly, 👌 love it You don't necessarily owe it to him, you owe it to his family, you owe it to them to get the pension & access to the widows+orphans fund & w/e.

I like how they let Castle carry the casket even tho he is not a cop. Ok my man definitely needs a hat, he really looks out of place. Aw the poor family. yk acab even tho he be dead. I mean best wishes to him & the families+friends. Like tbh big acab moments. A huge funeral for him? Ok how many ppl there actually knew him personally? How much of this is just because he was a fellow enforcer of the law? How much of it is REAL & how much of it enforces an institution where brotherhood takes priority? Btw did they teach castle how to do the proper stepping for the fancy parts of walking around & turning the way they do? I thought Royce did that. KB: You might find someone to stand with you *looks over to Rick* How did rick actually see that tho? I'm glad he didn't jump in front of a bullet, it hit her first. ALSO LANIE BEING HELP BACK BY ESPOSITO Girl that's not how you save someone. U might want to put pressure on the wound or wear gloves if u have any (like airplanes) & do NOT put your hands on the grass like that

Ok cool. Now I'm actually going to watch season one bc I never had the chance to liveblog that.

Ok now I've also gathered all my clips from s3 yay

[goddamnmuses]

What drew you to the fandom(s) your muses are from? (Your Marvel muses to be specific)

I've always been a Marvel fan, I think it probably started with like the cartoons like X-Men and Spider-Man. I just liked the sort of anyone can be a hero thing that Marvel has. I'm talking the age of like running around pretending to be a superhero, which is what I did as a kid, even invented superheroes like I was Zapboy based loosely on lightning being 'zappy' and my little brother was Boomer (didn't age well) but was based on thunder being booming. Dumb now but not at like.. idek. I was so young I don't think i had the internet yet xD But yeah, Marvel's just always been in my life pretty much in some capacity.

[kusunokihime]

::: DO NOT REBLOG. Anyone who does will be hardblocked :::

     [ While little attention is given to Mikoto’s feelings about the coup in canon, I headcanon her thoughts concerning it to be...complex.

     First, concerning the clan’s history:

     It’s made clear that, since the founding of Konoha, the Uchiha have been - at times slightly, at times majorly - ostracized by other parts of the village. The lingering distrust between them and the Senju - who, for as long as Konoha has existed, have maintained major power while the Uchiha have had near to none - meant that any chance of things ever completely settling were nearly nonexistent. All Hokage have either been of Senju blood, or had Senju teachings. Hashirama, Tobirama, and Tsunade belong to the clan. Hiruzen was taught by Tobirama, Minato taught by Hiruzen’s student Jiraiya, Kakashi taught by Minato, and Naruto taught by Kakashi (and fathered by Minato). The bias is...extremely evident.

     While Hashirama had every intention of bettering the relationship between the clans, his rather early demise shattered that dream...and it only got worse when Tobirama was named Nidaime. Lacking his brother’s idealism and optimism, he tried a more hands-off approach to the Uchiha: he made them the village’s police...while keeping both their district and their new station tucked away in the rear of the village: a physical reminder of how they were very much the ‘others’ when it came to the clans of Konoha. They were also barred from positions of power: they were disallowed from becoming ANBU, the most trusted and highly-skilled warriors of the Hokage seat. Nor were they allowed to hold positions within the council of elders. 

     This was all in spite of the fact that not a single Uchiha defected to follow Madara in his rebellion against Konoha and Hashirama, choosing instead to remain loyal to the village. Tobirama’s trust could still not be earned.

     Hiruzen, also tied to the Senju line as a student of Tobirama’s, was not nearly as anti-Uchiha as his teacher was...but his nevertheless slight bias was still present. Things remained mostly unchanged for the Uchiha for much of his time as Hokage...until the Kyūbi incident. When Obito attacked the birthing team assisting Kushina in delivering Naruto and unleashed Kurama, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that an Uchiha had to have been involved. And while that was technically true, Obito acted of his own volition, and had no support or knowledge concerning his clan. They hadn’t even known he was still alive.

     At the time, most KMPF officers - rather than confront the Kyūbi directly as the shinobi did - instead tasked themselves with the evacuation of the civilians, whom they were most responsible for as the village’s police. This left near to no shinobi witnesses outside the clan that could account for their whereabouts during the attack. Even as Mikoto’s sister Manami lost her leg protecting a family from the beast, and both Mikoto and her husband Fugaku assured Hiruzen that they had nothing to do with the attack, suspicion remained...and conditions for the Uchiha got worse.

     Rights - slowly but surely - were squeezed and narrowed for them. A curfew was enacted for the entire clan, their communications outside the village were subject to search, and intelligence was kept from them. Talk began stirring within the Uchiha of a coup, and nearly the entire clan was for it from the beginning. Outliers included Manami - Mikoto’s older sister - and her son Shisui, as well as a few others (including Itachi, unspokenly)...but not nearly enough to halt the talks of rebellion.

     Itachi, having shown great promise, was the clan’s first and only ANBU officer ever fully instated. (Canon says that Shisui, too, was ANBU...but he is never shown in their garb. And given Fugaku’s later suspicion of Itachi stemming from his position as ANBU, him asking Shisui of all people - as another ANBU officer - to keep an eye on him makes no sense. Therefore, this blog sees him reach tokubetsu jōnin rank only, not ANBU). This was done purposefully by Hiruzen as a means to offer an olive branch to the clan...but Fugaku immediately used it as a weapon, demanding his son become a double agent, which he agreed to...but in truth, he was a triple agent, working for the village over the clan. 

     Fugaku, up until that point, had been negotiating on and off with the village - more so in recent months - since the attack by Obito to try and stem the backlash from the village. But every offer and compromise he brought forward was shot down.

     This was seen, at the time, as the continued prejudice against the Uchiha, and only served to stoke their fires of rebellion further the more time went on. In truth, nearly all of the extremism present in the proceedings from the attack onward came from Shimura Danzō, who - more than anyone, and at odds with Hiruzen - adopted Tobirama’s anti-Uchiha sentiments. 

     Those feelings were also coupled with greed over their eyes, having been making secret arrangements with Orochimaru to allow them to continue their research in return for any advancements deemed useful for the councilman, which would later revolve around Hashirama’s cells, and Uchiha eyes. His continued hardlining against the clan was in part due to his bias and belief they were a genuine threat...and a want to take their power for himself. By having the clan killed, he would both eliminate their threat, and receive their eyes for his own personal use. The massacre, from the beginning, was his idea, and his alone. The rest of the council - more partial to Tobirama as well, and therefore often siding with him over Hiruzen - were easily manipulated into following his lead, not knowing the true extent of his motives.

     With all of this in mind, Mikoto’s feelings therefore mostly concerned three main factors: the overall well-being of her clan; the safety of her sons; and the circumstances surrounding her friend Kushina’s death.

     For the clan, she knew that - given the unrelenting refusal from the village - if they were to have their freedom and their due respect, war was almost inevitable. If Konoha would not listen to reason and continue to treat them like second class citizens in a village they helped found, defend, and remained loyal to even when Madara himself turned his back...then they would resort to force.

     On the other hand, she had seen the effect the last war had had on her eldest son. She herself knew the horrors of war. Subjecting Itachi and Sasuke to that was something that weighed heavily on her. As much as she wanted to fight back, she didn’t want their childhoods colored by civil war if they could in any way avoid it. ANBU or not, Itachi was still a child...and Sasuke was barely enrolled in the Academy. Though she gave Fugaku her support, she also begged that he keep trying to salvage the talks for as long as possible...if only for the sake of her boys.

     But what had the most weight leaning her into war - a deeply personal feeling of betrayal and anger toward Konoha - came not by blood...but by friendship.

     Uzumaki Kushina’s death rattled Mikoto to her very core. The pair had been best friends since their Academy days, and Mikoto trusted no one else as much as she did Kushina, save her sister and - in some regards - her husband. The loss was just as keen as if she’d lost a sister, and she mourned openly for weeks. During that time, having been in the hospital often to visit her sister Manami as she recovered from her amputation, Mikoto spotted baby Naruto within the maternity ward...and she immediately knew he was Kushina’s son. He looked too much like Minato to be mistaken, and the birthdate matched perfectly. 

     But what confirmed it more than anything was the angry red chakra Mikoto could practically feel calling to her Sharingan: the chakra of the Kyūbi...the demon that had attacked their village, disfigured her sister, killed her best friend...and had changed the lives of her kin forever.

     Few had been allowed to know about Kushina’s status as a jinchūriki. Mikoto, even if not technically allowed, had been one of them. Once the secret was out, Kushina confided much in her best friend, including the Uzumaki preference for sealing the beast due to their chakra and sealing techniques.

     ...first Konoha had let someone steal the Kyūbi and thereby kill her best friend. Then they sealed the beast into her baby, and left him an orphan. 

     Mikoto wouldn’t stand for it.

     She’d gone - after leaving her boys at home - straight to Hiruzen’s office, demanding to adopt the boy. Who else was more suitable than the best friend of his mother? Jiraiya, his godfather, was nowhere to be found, and was hardly in the position to care for a newborn. Mikoto was an experienced mother, and already loved the boy like a son as the child of her closest friend. He didn’t have to grow up alone and ostracized. He had her.

     ...but the council refused.

     And she knew why.

     It was their decision that he would remain parentless, alone, and kept ignorant of his past and lineage. There was a loving, familiar family just waiting for him...and the council refused.

     It boiled her blood like few things had ever done in her nearly three decades of life. It was then that Mikoto truly realized there would be no overcoming the bias against them. There would be no justice - for them, for those like Naruto...none of it was fair.

     So, it was with the weight of her clan’s and her best friend’s son’s lives on her back that Mikoto fully aligned herself with the coup, and saw it through until the end...when her own son cut her down for the sake of a village that would throw him, too, away when the time came. Danzō, Koharu, Homura, and Hiruzen: it was them she cursed just as Itachi’s blade swung.

     ...she refused to forgive them, even in death. ]

[forgottenarias]

because i'm apparently absolutely insane... additional thoughts on this I'm excited to type on a KEYBOARD XD

after affects of léna, dom, & generally being a stafford so like i'd sort of mentioned above, and v unsurprisingly to anyone, both aria's parents + generally just being a stafford had an affect on how aria expresses love, affection, emotions, etc! kate i know we've talked about dom, having had a lot of his own trauma, not necessarily being a warm + fuzzy sort of father and how much of his focus was on raising eilia as his heir-- meaning aria didn't get much from him, really, and (whether this is just what she's focused on or the truth, idr think it ultimately matters?) pretty much all she remembers is him trying to impart that idea of duty and also hiding a part of who she is re: her magic. I think i've started to realize that aria really has very little positive memories of her father? (def part of that might be coping mechanism but yeah!) also want to point out that i def don't think dom was a BAD father, he was doing the best he could considering his history + becoming the ruler of astaira + having no familial support + having to raise three daughters on his own! also this is like... totaly crazy kate HC but i sort of imagined that the great love story of that generation was sorcha + bran, right? they're from two ancient families and have this wonderful, loving relationship and four daughters while dom's relationship w/ his wife started out w/ a bunch of drama with his brother! and i def don't think there was any animosity or anything between them & obvs the situations a v different since Bran WASN"T the king, but i could see where comparisons could be made, ya know?? anyway that was a random tangent! haha! so i also kind of have been mulling around the idea that's Dom's parenting style also maybe came by him honestly? since we've alrady sort of thrown around the idea that the stafford fam has sort of operated in this more... i guess i'll maybe call it pragmatic style of parenting?... for generations + add on top of that his own father & brother were doing all their wild things.

i swear i'm trying to come to a point haha! basically, what did dom impart on all his daughters? the sense of duty. the idea of being the family that has the responsibility for all of the astairan people! so it definitely makes sense that for all of her life, one of the main ways that aria expressed her love for her friends + fam was through acts of service. (also as i was typing i had a rogue HC thought that maybe one of the times aria got real honest to god positive, emotionally charged responses from her dad were when she gave him gifts? like maybe she's always had a knack at finding that PERFECT thing and he very outwardly showed his appreciation for that? idek... rando thoughts haha!) anyway, onto léna! again i am sure i've rambled about how i think aria spent most of her 'parent time' with her mother until her death-- which is part of why she takes being in that 'queen' role for eilia so seriously!-- and i DO think lena shaped her the most between the two parents. like with dom, i think a lot of being focused on acts of service came from her mother-- bc i do think lena was a well known and respected woman in stafford & beyond as the queen!? (even with the rocky start!) i sort of imagined lena was the sort of queen who would roll up her sleeves and DO things-- not simply just give donations and be a patron to organizations. and aria definitely tries to emulate that (or DID since roderick won't let her out of the castle #rude) now that she has taken over her mother's role. so again-- like with dom-- this idea of serving the people as a duty PLUS seeing the positivity from it would def influence aria to continue to implement the idea of acts or service in her own personal life! random musing on gift giving? what even are my headers for each of these sections!? -face palm- apologies in advance i feel like this is going to go off the rails but apparently i'm deep into lore/world building/character devo at the moment and cannot be stopped!!! anyway, like i mentioned in my FIRST ramblings, i DO think gift giving is v important to aria with her family/friends + she definitely prides herself on how good she is at it! so then it kinda surprised me that when i was mulling this whole thing over i didn't think that she'd really be using her gift giving super power re: arthur! but the more i think about it... i think she might asp? (i feel like this is mostly HC for like... if they ever actually got to be together and weren't hiding their feelings from roderick, haha, though i guess some could apply now?) anyway i think if she's giving arthur gifts, they'd probably be things she herself made?? (okay now imagining she def gives him that handkerchief she was embroidering to try and get his attention asp XD) i'm not honestly sure what exactly she WOULD be making but i could see that being something her specifically doing for him! (and any kids she might have some day-- whoever their father is! idek where this came from but the idea she makes her kids clothing when they're v young and does things like embroiders little things on their clothing as they get older as a sign of affection? maybe she even does that for arthur asp? i feel like this idea came out of smth i read in some book but for the life of me i cannot remember what! -cue me digging through my bookshelf this week-) this really has v little to do with most of what i've been rambling but i've been getting these random instagram videos about fingerloop braiding (which i feel like is just v fancy friendship bracelets but shhhh ;D ) and the videos are using this medieval patterns and 1) i def wanna try it!; 2) i need a friend who also wants to do weird historical crafts w/ me so we can do the more complex ones! ; 3) it TOTALLY seems like something that would be popular in astaira, especially in circumstances of two houses uniting in marriage bc they can be done in multiple colors! if you're interested here is the website about it and i'll try to share the insta video on my feed!

... i feel like i had more i was going to be ramble abt but i apparently hit a wall (aka its that time of night when i turn into a pumpkin!) so knowing me i'll probably reblog myself again later haha

ooc || love language

I had a note written in my drafts for Aria that said ‘her love language is?’ which I assume relates back to some comment or something from once upon a time that I can no longer remember, but while I was driving around today I was *maybe* listening to some of my Aria inspo music and this all was rattling around…

I’m breaking this into two parts starting with Aria’s love language towards others! (Also until quite recently she really never had an ~romantic attachments so I might do a third bit about things with Arthur, we’ll see! But all of this is mostly going to reflect on her friends/family relationships)

It’s probably not surprising that arias go to is always gifts— she definitely takes a LOT of pride in finding very specific things that she knows people will appreciate and definitely pre Roderick would search all that markets and artisans in stafford for the perfect presents! (Specifically imagining that she’d spend a lot of time looking for books for eilia on whatever subject she was focused on at the time! Or music she thought aoife would enjoy playing or might not have heard before!) I do imagine this was reserved for the closest people in her life— only those people she felt fully confidant she completely understood and understood her.

Sort of looping in with that idea, Aria was def very into acts of service… which also is probably obvious considering the mentality of the stafford family, haha! Since there was that whole idea of being duty bound to serving astaira was engrained, I think that sort of morphed into the idea of her philanthropic efforts were also how she shows her affection for the people of astaira… if that makes sense?

I’m gonna tag @forgotteneilionora about this because I know we’ve discussed that the stafford family wasn’t necessarily as warm and fuzzy as, say, the Malconaire family, and sort of on that same line of thought, I didn’t figure there was much physical affection there either… which leads into the ides that Aria definitely did not show much attention through physical touch. I don’t think she was out there dodging hugging her friends or her sisters, but that was definitely never her first thought of how to show affection. I think it was probably more of a form of comfort in her mind. Buuuuuut…. I think that is/will change a bit thanks to Arthur??!!

I’ve realized that Aria set (maybe without even realizing it) boundaries about how she interacts with Arthur— which has been morphing for sure since they first met— and I think as she started realizing there MIGHT be confusing feelings happening was when there were things like her making a point to never say his name! And definitely one of those things was NO physical contact— not that there would’ve been much but if he did something like… I dunno, offered to help her out of a carriage or something, she’d definitely REFUSE because that’s a line she cannot, will not cross even in the most innocent of circumstances! (Though Arthur definitely blew right over that line during the riots so that’ll be its own thing!) I DO think if/when she and Arthur ever talk about their ~feelings, that idea of physical touch as a love language might become a more important thing for her than it was in the past? And my thought is that will probably come more from the concern that there are so many things that are going to be working AGAINST them being together that again, even the more innocent of circumstances of physical contact that she would’ve before avoided are now a comfort— like they’re there, together, and at least for that moment in time no one has managed to rip them apart yet!

Also just for Arthur, words of affirmation will make an appearance because…. He needs it. I think Aria has already realized he needs it. We all know want boy needs someone to tell him he’s not the worse and that he’s doing okay BESIDES Marian! Also realizing that she almost accidentally started having ‘quality time’ with Arthur in the form of all their walk and talks… (but don’t tell her that because that was just PART OF THE PLAN!) Also this is just a random HC I’ve had about the pair for awhile that asp Aria ends up reading TO Arthur— probably some astairan story or something she’s annoyed he has read himself — but that something they’d do together from time to time!

Weirdly, I don’t see her giving him gifts? Well, I definitely think she MIGHT at some point— and that thing would have some insanely important meaning behind it- but I don’t see her going out and searching out the perfect thing like she’d done for others? (Her justification would also be he already has WAYYY TOO MUCH so he definitely doesn’t need any gifts haha!)

Basically, which makes total sense given the differences in relationships, her love languages with Arthur is completely different than with her family and friends!

Being on the receiving end of affection is, probably not a surprise, not something Aria is very good at? Realizing she’s basically a minimalist, I don’t think she ever wants gifts? Not that she doesn’t appreciate them, but I think most of the things she has in her life have very important significance to her— especially now since Roderick has taken most of it away, haha! Quality time, I think, it probably what she values most— spending time with her sisters, all the time she spent with aoife where they could just BE and not have to worry about standing on principle or anything like that— those are the moments she values most. SO on that same note with Arthur… all that time they’ve spent together talking actually meant a lot to her (when it turned to something real and not just her trying to ignore him while he was trying to get her attention!). Probably meant more than she realized honestly???

Additionally words of affirmation are important to her! I don’t think she got much from her father, and probably some from her mother before she died… I would guess she did/does get it from Eilia and probably always has?? Honestly where would she be without her big sister? (Even more of an emotional/mental wreck than she already is!)

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

No after figure we're not 😭😭

AWWW HONEYYY NO 😭😭😭🥺🥺💔❤️

Well yeah but he can decide to break up with you too

But yeah honey totally valid :(((

Hmm not always though Tim

Oop true 😳

Punishing yourself like everyone else 😬

OOP that's the tea o.o

Bitesize therapy where you can't escape xD

Hmm

"Bailey" NO CELINA'S HERE ASK BAILEY

GORL I WAS RIGHT O.O

Celina's face XDD

SLFKGHDS YEP

Yeahhh diseases xD

LOL

Idiots xD

Yeppp slfkdjs

Oop Emma :O

UH OHHH

OHH NOOO

Uh ohh

OHHH BLOOD

Crap

Oh noo

?

Dead :(((

Poor girl 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺

Yeeeah she shouldn't be here

OOP yep dibs xD

Hmm nah there's gonna be an issue with her xD

Yeah probably not

But also near murder apparently lol

Yep xD

Yeah it's not great but it's an option

Okay whatever you say

"Took the words right out of my mouth" LOL

You needed to say it

Yeah :)

Yeah o.o

Dang all y'all right there lol

Ik it's your job lol but

Old zoo o.o

Yk memories xD

UH OH

Oh gosh :O ayyy she's okay!!!

Awww poor girl :(( 😭😭

It's not your fault honey <33

Right forgot which one was which, anyway interesting that he killed Emma first

Maybe just chance

Yeah real :(

Awww honey 😭

Honeyy tell the truth if you know it

Ahh because she escaped :(

Wasn't she already dead? Oh like kill her too

Oop suspicious old look out

The baby thing is sensitive to everyone too :(

Well kids in general

Maybe not Tim and Lucy but they have their own problems lol

Oope

I doubt he's in there

OPE O.O

Nahh there's gotta be somebody else involved

And there's already flies

Maybe they did it? Idek

His wife??

They're like "yeeeah he's dead"

Hmm okay hours

Ah crap right o.o

But she's there-

Okay phew

Hmm still suspicious

Oogh that look at the camera

OPE

Agh gosh

OH NO knife o.o

I wonder if she killed and now is just in it and thinks she needs to run? Idek

Agh gosh what a complicated place to run in xd

Yeeah that's annoying

Thissss is annoying

If somebody sees her and they slightly misspeak 😬

OOP she running

Uh oh

Why is that rando just walking by o.o

Aww honey :(((

Poor girl 😭

Awww 😭😭

This is wild

This is amazing acting though :(

OOP she killed both o.o

Awww honey 😭😭😭💔

Oogh those screams

This is so good but just ouch 😭

Wow

That was amazing but so sad :((