#and by he i mean daniel and the lizard
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simplyisa · 2 months ago
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daniel laughing at track marshals chasing a lizard during a red-flagged fp3 | singapore gp 24
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starry-bi-sky · 6 months ago
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I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt
“Woah. You look like shit."
Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
#I AM LOUDLY PUSHING THE BATDAD AGENDA#anyways— add ons are encouraged i wanna talk more dpxdc with folks i just cant find any aus i really like enough to engage with#which is nobody's fault and its why im making my own content in order to reach more people#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dc x dp#dpxdc prompts#i took a ‘which batfam member are you (except its personal)’ quiz a few days ago#and got bruce wayne. and then was promptly read to filth why im most like him and it rudely but accurately explained why im the most like#him. it also consequently explained to me why i like him so much. whenever i see him in his kindest form i see a mirror looking back#anyways lots of ‘danny rejecting bruce as a parent’ aus. may i present: bruce and danny finding family in each other aus. batdad aus pls.#dpxdc prompt#dcxdp#this prompt can take place at any point of Batkid accumulation but personally i was imagining this as before Bruce has any of his kids yet#eldest brother danny supremacy and also just that one on one bonding#danny being someone who was never afraid of the dark as a kid and even less so as he got older. taking solace in it as a ghost because you#cant hide in the dark when you glow. his enemies can't jump out at him. but he can jump out at them. how can he be afraid of the dark when#the dark is where the stars like to live? there's a comfort in the shadows. there might be something hiding in it. but he's hiding in it to#blood blossoms eat ghosts headcanon#wasn't sure where i was gonna go with this at the beginning and then i caught steam.#batman casually kidnaps an orphan upon kid's request. also the kid was Actively Dying Of Poison. What was he gonna do?? NOT help him?#mister 'keeps candy in his utility belt specifically for scared children'??? no way.
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adrena-dine · 2 months ago
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Singapore GP 2024 : a summary of
Ay yo it’s been a long time
The lizard being faster than Stake 💀
Pls find a seat for Franco. Idk how, create a new team, put him somewhere pls
Max being framed by the FIA for swearing ?! And having to do community service ????
(I know a lil Japanese boy is currently TERRIFIED)
And then doing the bare minimum to answer question but holding his own lil press conference outside ? King behaviour
George doing the T pose just because he was asked to
Carlos in the barriers, but at some very unexpected place
The French commentators said it was embarrassing 😬
Yuki said TMI 💅🏼
Fred and Toto talking from their hospitalities’ balconies like lovers from the Renaissance
George and Lewis forming the wrong direction please lord
F1 tv just coming at everyone’s as
Everybody being terrified of McLaren speed and just prying for Ferrari to win lmao
Lando bumping in the meme old man 😭
Checo and Alonso hugging like crazy while max was just trying to do his interview
Fernando just pressing all the buttons on his wheel bc it’s what he does at home and it even made his oven works again
George being told to stfu bc he rants too much about how shitty he finds the Pirelli tyres ?
Franco not knowing wether or not he should approached Lewis and just ending up like 🧍
Alex Wurz spilled the tea and said drivers are not happy about the FIA and bad words things. Pls get your yellow jackets ans signs out, we’re going on strike!
Ollie roasting the F1 journalists bc they didn’t get his cars reference, save the journalists from when Z
They put nest years rookies one duty by going ANYTHING but driving
Franco’s first lap was INSANE bestie thought he was still in f2 (and we love it)
No safety car, Singapore what’s going on?
LANDO VICTORY LET’S GOOOOOO
the gaps were INSANE
McLaren and their readwing mess continues but thank you for the drama ✨
Daniel being celebrated as it was his last race. But it wasn’t official. But it kinda was bc everyone was celebrating like it was. But it wasn’t. I mean not officially.
Everybody STRUGGLING on these hard tyres
He was CRYING. I am in shambles.
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tostadamika · 10 months ago
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Daniel Watches She-Ra & The Princesses Of Power
-S1E1- 'The Sword Part 1'
Today's She-Ra Watch Art: This shitty Glimmer doodle.
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Look I promise they won't all be garbage ;-; I promise
Okay I wanna preface: Not every post is gonna be this detailed, I didn't even intend to go on this long with just one episode but I lost track of time. Some posts I'll be short & sweet. Some I'll be long winded to a comical degree. Depends on my feeling.
I think I'll just keep it to one paragraph per episode, & only pull out the long rambles when I finish a season. I think that'll work. Yeah.
Okay so I have no idea who any of these people are because I literally just started but one of these guys is a lizard. I'm a huge sucker for lizard people in anything ever so I immediately like this fucker. He's a lizard, that is all I need. He's just instantly cool because lizards are fucking rad as hell dude.
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So Cat-Ra speaks, that first fucking line of hers.
The fucking "Hey Adora"
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The first fucking thing I said to myself, out loud, was the immediate reaction I had to that line: "Oh so they're gay."
I don't know if it's like canon or not but one of the things I know about this show is people ship them a lot. I have no idea if that's actually like a canon thing in the show or not but I've seen a lot of fanart of them so I know people at the very least WANT them to kiss or hold hands or get married & buy a house in the suburbs & raise like 5 kids & watch Shrek on VHS & talk about doing their taxes or whatever idk.
That being an actual thing in the show itself? Uh I guess I'll see what happens so who the fuck knows man. Maybe they just explode idk.
But like....dude. DUDE. The fucking way Cat-Ra said it was just....
SO fucking extra like that immediately felt fruity to me. I'm already getting that vibe from her. On top of that, the way her & Adora continue to interact in the episode also give off a very distinct vibe, a rather, ahem, 'fruity' vibe. I think I'm already getting the idea of why this ship is popular. I do believe I see the vision.
Also, quick tangent, I LOVE the way the animators animated Cat-Ra like an actual cat. Her hair getting puffed up when she's agitated, her ears moving to reflect her mood. Her eyes dilating like how cat eyes actually do. THEY EVEN ALSO MADE HER PURR LIKE AN ACTUAL CAT, LIKE SHE AUDIBLY CAN BE HEARD PURRING. THAT'S SUCH AN ADORABLE DETAIL & IT MAKES HER IMMEDIATLEY ENDEARING AS FUCK.
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Also I guess it makes sense Cat-Ra would be into women, yeah?
Because it makes sense that CAT-Ra would be interested in PUSSY.
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(Please Laugh) (I'm desperate please think I'm funny I need this)
Now moving on, let me talk about this BITCH.
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One. Compared to the original Shadow Weaver, they sure did make her a way more intimidating villain.
Two. FUCK THIS BITCH??????
THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FUCKING BITCHY, INKBLOT LOOKING, WACKY WAVING TUBE MAN HAIR HAVING, WIZARD-WANNABE MOTHERFUCKER? LITERALLY SHUT UP
+ NO ONE CARES & ALSO YOU SMELL BAD
+ YOU LOOK LIKE A BOOTLEG ERMAC
+ YOU'RE MEAN TO CAT-RA, I MEAN HONESTLY, WHO THE FUCK JUST BULLIES A CAT?
IMAGINE BULLYING A FUCKING CAT. FUCK THIS BITCH.
I DO NOT CARE FOR THIS WOMAN.
HER SMUG AURA MOCKS ME.
Hi so I immediately love you?? Like instantly my favorite character just from the design alone. Glimmer is so real honestly.
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I also like Bow, like, Bow is just so fucking cool & nice? He's such a real one, I wanna be best friends with him & hang out he's just so lovable like he's just awesome. I love this man immediately. He deserves all the good in the world actually.
Also holy shit the contrast between Bow in the original show vs this reboot design.
It's funny, the original design WAY more gay than the new one.
The new one that a lot of people (and by people I mean homophobic douchenozzles.) complained about, the design for Bow in this supposedly 'woke tumblr sjw cartoon' has a design that is far less homoerotic in it's design & feel.
The original Bow just outright looks like a fucking gay pornstar.
He's got the trademark 'Gay Porno Mustache™' & everything.
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Okay so there's a magic sword or something, etc.
They mentioned Eternia.
Okay so, one of the reasons the original she-ra was lame as fuck compared to He-Man? No Skeletor.
Hordak & literally all the villains in the original show suck ass.
They fucking suck. Hordak is just Skeletor but boring & shitty.
Why the FUCK did they not take the oppurtunity to replace Hordak with Skeletor? You don't even need to add He-Man, I'm fine with that.
But You could have just taken She-Ra & added a better villain because Skeletor fucking rules. He calls people boobs. That's fucking awesome & cool. WHERE IS HE? WHERE THE FUCK IS SKELETOR? LOOK SHOW. HORDAK WAS FUCKING LAME AS FUCK.
SO IF THIS REBOOT IS GOING TO CONVINCE ME THAT HORDAK IS IN ANY WAY A LEGITIMATELY COOL VILLAIN, THEN THEY BETTER FUCKING PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS BECAUSE IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT TO CONVINCE ME THAT THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF JUST USING SKELETOR INSTEAD. LIKE, YOU BETTER FUCKING IMPRESS ME BECAUSE OTHERWISE, THE LACK OF SKELETOR IS GONNA BE A HUGE FLAW THAT YOU CANNOT OVERLOOK.
I mean, so far they managed to make me actually LIKE Cat-Ra, & the original Cat-Ra fucking sucks. Shadow Weaver sucked & so far at least this reboot Shadow Weaver is actually intimidating. But man, you better fuckin' impress me show, because the lack of Skeletor is felt deep within my soul.
OH wait hold on.
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Okay I see why everyone said this show is gay now.
Anyways I didn't mean to ramble on this long about the show in just one episode, I promise this is gonna be a rare occurrence. I think from now on, I'll keep it shortened to just one paragraph per post. I'll only pull out these long posts when I finish a season or something.
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Anyways uh:
-Glimmer is the best
-I'm sorry but I'm not over the skeletor thing WHY DID YOU NOT USE HIM HE WAS RIGHT THERE-
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onboardsorasora · 11 months ago
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Enchanted AU: Part 30
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*peeks out from behind a wall* Heeeyyyy Guys😅. I've been sitting on that twist since before Christmas.... just so you know lmao.
Part 1 | Last Chapter
Daniel collected Sassy to his chest and shuffled out of the bedroom in an almost frenzy, no one was up yet so he went and sat on the daybed. He shivered at the breeze but paid it no mind as Jimmy came to greet them.
Daniel stared at him intently as if willing Jimmy's voice to pop back up in his head. It didn't happen of course. Nothing happened.
Daniel made a wounded noise and took a deep breath. Mostly to stave off the panic he was feeling. It worked. Holy crap, it worked. 
Oh no.
“I'm normal.” He breathed out, his body shivered again in the breeze and Daniel just felt numb. He looked at the cats again and felt his lips pull into a frown, already missing the chatter of their voices in his head. The chatter of the birds that flew by periodically, the dog that lived a floor down and the lizard from two floors up.
He felt empty, already regretting his decision borne from anguish. He was born special, meant to be special. Even if it ruined his life. That was his burden to bear, to stay out of people's way. Not mess with their lives.
He shouldn't have enchanted himself because now what?
“Daniel?” 
Daniel's head snapped up to see Max walking rapidly out to the patio. He looked nervous, worried.
“Daniel– are you ok? Is everything alright?” Max stopped himself from reaching out fully to grab him. He quickly looked him up and down, he wasn't glowing anymore and he didn't look any worse for wear either. No tails that Max could see.
“Max. Im- ok.” Daniel dipped his head into Sassy's neck.
“Are you sure?”
“I'm fine Max. I'm perfectly normal!” Daniel all but snapped. He clutched Sassy tightly to his chest and clenched his eyes shut. Daniel let out a shuddering breath.
“Daniel?” Max touched Daniel's shoulder softly and Daniel sobbed. “Daniel? What's going on?!” Max was panicked now.
“Max? Max what's happeni– Daniel!” Michelle came running out of the room, looking over Daniel frantically. “Danny what did you do?” She asked softly, scared.
“Chelle.” Daniel sobbed, throwing himself in her arms, they stumbled backwards together.
“Max what's going on?” Grace hung back by the door, watching it all with wide eyes.
‘I– I'm not sure. He- he said he's normal?” Max repeated unsurely. 
“Oh.” Grace gasped softly.
“What– what does that mean?” Max swung to look at Grace before looking back at Michelle who was staring at Daniel crying in her arms with an almost pitying expression.
“He doesn’t have magic anymore.” Michelle stared at the still rose stark against Daniel's clenching wrist. It sat unmoving but for the tendons beneath it.
“Wha– how?” Max jolted, he felt like the world shattered around him. No one answered him.
Max felt like the next few hours happened while he was underwater. Daniel allowed himself to be fussed over by his mother and sister. He stared into space most of the time. Max felt completely out of his depth. He didn't know what to do, how to help. He didn't know how to fix this.
He didn't know if this could even be fixed.
Daniel ate because his mother told him he needed to. He showered because Michelle told him to. He felt useless. What purpose did he have now that he wasn't useful to anyone?
He laid on his mother's lap in his bed, staring into space while she stroked his curls. He needed time to get used to this new normal.
Max sat across the breakfast nook from Michelle. She was spinning her coffee mug listlessly on the table. The drag of the ceramic across the wood was the only sound between them for a while. She sighed but didn't say anything.
“How bad is it?” Max dared to ask.
“He cursed himself. I think.” She murmured and began drumming her fingers against the ceramic. A trait she shared with Daniel.
“Can we fix it?” 
The way Michelle looked at him reminded Max of predators. Her brown eyes were piercing, almost glowing honey.
“You can.” She hooked her chin in her upturned palm, tapping her middle finger against her cheek. “You can.” She nodded confidently and Max felt the moment his face scrunched in confusion.
“That's not very helpful.” Max complained, leaning back against his chair with a groan.
“I know, I'm sorry. It just– it doesn't work like that.” She apologized and sipped her tea. 
“You have magic too.” Max said it like a confirmation, rather than a question. Michelle didn't deny it. 
“How?” He asked again.
“It's…” She paused. “It's more intuition than anything. I can see your intentions– I can't like read your mind or anything but I can…tell.” She sighed, clearly never really needing to explain her own innate abilities before.
“That's how you protect him. Of course.” The reality made sense, filled in more than a few gaps. She nodded.
“Ok, so…how? How can I fix this?”
She sipped her tea quietly, staring unseeingly at the table between them.
“True love’s kiss.” She whispered.
“What?”
“It's– it sounds weird I know.”
Max rolled his eyes, as if the last few months hadn't already been weird.
“But it's a curse breaker. The most powerful thing in the world or whatever.”
“You're gonna have to give me more than that, I think.” 
She looked at him for a long moment as if weighing the pros and cons.
“Ok, I'm literally only going to say this once. I- I can't like–” she shook her head. “You love my brother, right? You're in love with him?” 
Max nodded, not wanting to say it aloud again until he was able to say it to Daniel directly.
“He loves you– so much.” She smiled a small upturn of her lips. A far cry from a proper Ricciardo grin. “He needs to know– that you feel that way. He needs to believe you. Before you kiss. Or else it won't work.”
Max ran his hand through his hair as he thought. It sounded easy, too easy. But if video games taught him anything, it was that deceptively simple quests normally were difficult as hell. He thought about the tear tracks on Daniel’s face, the crushed look in his eyes.
“He’s not gonna believe me.” He breathed out, looking over at Michelle who smiled sadly. “I’m going to have to make him, of course. Prove to him.” He was speaking to himself more so than her, but her slight nod was comforting.
He loved Daniel. He knew he did. And he wanted Daniel to stay with him. Confessing to him would have been the plan of action regardless, only now he knew that Daniel loved him back. He could do this. He had to, because he loved Daniel– all of him.
Next Chapter
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bookgeekgrrl · 2 months ago
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My media this week (15-21 Sep 2024)
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ma boi gorgug was going thru it
📚 STUFF I READ 📚
🥰 Subspace (poppypickford) - 69K, Suits BDSM AU - reread, just really in the mood for a suits D/s fic and this is a pretty great one
😍 Eight Paws, Two Tails, One Heart (BlueSimplicity) - 216K shrunkyclunks - "Diagnosed with PTSD and placed on medical leave, initially Steve is resentful, stubbornly refusing the idea there’s anything that can make it better. Until Sam suggests a Service Dog, and introduces him to James Buchanan Barnes, a fellow vet and trainer who swears one of his dogs can help, if only Steve can summon enough bravery to take a leap of faith and accept a four-legged companion in his life. What follows is a long and winding journey of fear, doubt and self-recrimination. But also hope, acceptance and redefining what it means to be a hero, as Steve finally faces the issues that have been haunting him his entire life. There is also a lot of fur, conversations with dogs, and a cross-country road trip, as Steve rebuilds his life and maybe, just maybe, falls in love along the way." - instant classic, forever fave fic. can't recommend it highly enough
🥰 Echoes of Memory (KittenKakt) - 41K, geraskier - reread, really excellent amnesia fic with delicious h/c, bathing, bed sharing
🥰 The Shire is NOT on Fire (kissesforcas) - 54K Steddie, everyone lives AU where Steve agrees to go on a LARP weekend with Eddie & the kids - low angst, much fun, steve is hot af
💖💖 +124K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖
Like A Virgin (Brenda) - Top Gun: Ice/Mav, 25K - 'Recently divorced Ice has a bi-awakening and wants to "experiment" with someone he trusts. Mav offers to be his sexual guinea pig. Things go about as well as you expect. (They're both so smart, but also so very dumb.)' - mutual dumbasses is one of my favorite flavors
movie night series (jk_rockin) - Stranger Things: steddie, 13K - "They’re just… hanging out. Watching movies. Having brain-melting orgasms. Cuddling, which he hadn’t expected and really likes. Fucking. Well. They've fucked once. Now to figure out how to get Eddie to fuck him again." - short but hot and enjoyable
📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺
In Deep: Life at the Bottom of the Ocean With Dr. Sarah McAnulty - Session 1
Handsome - Andrea Gibson asks about flirting
Handsome - Arnold Schwarzenegger asks about being useful
Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #5
D20: A Starstruck Odyssey - s12, e6-13
D20: Adventuring Party - s8, e6-13
D20: Time Quangle - "Betrayed By Live Theatre" (s1, e2)
🎧 PODCASTS 🎧
Pop Culture Happy Hour - 2024 Emmys Recap
Short Wave - What's Up With The Hot Ocean Temperatures?
⭐ The Sporkful - The Enslaved Man Who Taught Jack Daniel How To Make Whiskey
Code Switch - Ask Code Switch: The racial politics of washing dishes?
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Hidden History of Eyeliner with Zahra Hankir
Welcome to Night Vale #254 - The Triangle
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Smith Court
Shedunnit - The Red Barn Murder
Vibe Check - High, Low, Fast, and Slow
Pop Culture Happy Hour - Fall Guide
Outward - Bonus: New Additions to the Gay Agenda from Madeline Ducharme
⭐ Ologies - Tardigradology (TINY SEMI-INDESTRUCTIBLE WATER BEAR MOSS PIGLET CREATURES CALLED TARDIGRADES) with Paul Bartels
It's Been a Minute - The SMACKDOWN: Brunch vs. Twerking vs. Louis Armstrong
Re: Dracula - September 19: The Best was Made of Everything
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Our Material World with Ed Conway
Song Exploder - Troye Sivan "One of Your Girls"
Normal Gossip - Dickmatized with Sam Sanders
Consider This - The unraveling of Eric Adams' administration
⭐ Endless Thread - The Great Lemming Lie
Dear Prudence - I Didn’t Wish My Sister a Happy Birthday—Now She’s Pissed! Help!
Dear Prudence - Prudie Plus: My Friend Switched to Natural Deodorant—She Smells Awful! Help!
It's Been a Minute - Is Diddy hip-hop's Weinstein? Plus, Brittany gets rejected
Short Wave - The Scuba Diving Lizards Breathing By Bubble
⭐ Normal Gossip - Leave ‘em a Little Bit Broke, a Little Bit Mad with Laci Mosley
What Next: TBD - Can Instagram Really Keep Kids Safe?
99% Invisible - The Power Broker #9: Majora Carter
Short Wave - How To Get A Haircut In Space
🎶 MUSIC 🎶
lofi hip hop radio 📚 - beats to relax/study to
Billboard Top 100 of 1984
Top Songs of 1984
Presenting Kesha
Presenting Katy Perry
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msfbgraves · 5 months ago
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The fill where Daniel has a breakdown after their return home from the “save our marriage trip” was one of your best and also one of my favorites! I do have some questions though, if that’s okay. (If not, please ignore this ask!) :3
(He swallows, nods to the room. "I can't be there alone,)
Is Daniel unable to relax in their bedroom by himself? Is he okay being there with Terry (the irony of that), or can he simply not sleep at all in that room, which is one of the reasons he is so tired and sleeps on the rug in the kids room? 
("So leave." 
They're both frozen still. Then Terry lifts his chin. "I will never do that.")
I mean…yikes. Does Daniel…or at least a part of him…really want Terry to leave? Like, permanently. As in a divorce? Not that Terry would ever allow that…
(Daniel stares at him. "I could go to my parents -" )
Does Daniel mean permanently, or just temporarily? 
(He puts a hand on his shoulder. "That did not stay Klytaimnestra's hand." 
Daniel puts a hand on his belly. "You did not kill my pup.")
I don’t get this exchange. Who is Klytaimnestra, and what pup was killed??
(At those words, the tears come. "It hurts, Terry, I'm so tired.")
Does it him (them actually) physically or simply mentally? Is there some bond between mates (Alpha/omega) where if something like this happens, they feel physical pain?
This was a really excellent fill. I do have to say though, it breaks my heart to see how hurt Daniel is. He is so very loving and incredibly sweet, and gave everything to his marriage, loved his husband so much—and it still wasn’t enough. Arghhhh. 
I wonder, after reading this, does Daniel feel afraid to sleep with Terry after the rape? Especially in their bedroom where it happened. And well, especially during those times when Terry returns after a “job” and the sex is implied to be rough. Does Daniel have to tell Terry it’s okay to be rough, or does he just kinda grit his teeth and get through it? 
If this had been another world, Daniel should have divorced and set the law on Terry for the sheer horrible brutality of what he did. But in this AU, Daniel has the enormous capacity of his love and omega nature to guide him through this. And yes, his husband too. Terry loves and adores him to the point of insanity. He cannot function without him at all. It just took the most evil deed to figure that out. Sigh. 
Great story. This fill (and the other one where Daniel learns of of the cheating no code to in the car) reminds me of this quote from the end of the Gone With the Wind movie where Rhett leaves Scarlett for good. 
"My darling, you're such a child, you think by saying ‘I'm sorry’ all the past can be corrected." 
Love hurts! 
Terry is Daniel's mate, which means their Alpha and omega side are incredibly closely connected. Any omega mate will instinctively find comfort in their Alpha, so if Daniel does feel stressed, his lizard brain instinct will look for his mate. Which means that indeed ironically, when Terry is there, his instincts will shield him somewhat from the fear of, um - Terry. It's not logical. But to be there in the bedroom alone, at that point in time, with no Terry there and a lot of memories, it's hard to relax. Maybe he's not been sleeping well, that's why he's so tired, but being tired can also be a trauma response when your grief and fear seeps into your body.
Daniel would love to have the normal option of divorce, yes. He's been trying to get Terry to leave him, something that Amanda picked up on within a few days. He feels that he could move in with his parents, but Terry is right, if that were an option, which it isn't, they'd probably marry him off. In fact, after the cheating reveal, Michael has been actively scouting candidates, because he thought that Daniele would surely want to kill that scumbag now. How could he not? Except, you know - if divorce is not an option, murder also isn't for Daniel. And now, here, since Terry straight up asks what he's thinking, he does blurt it out. But that's simply not something Terry will even consider.
In the legend of Trojan war, which started because Helen, wife of Menelaos, was either kidnapped or ran away with the Trojan man Paris, Klytaimnestra is her sister in law. When King Menelaos, incredibly butthurt for losing his wife like that, went to his brother King Agamemnon and declared he had to go to war against Troy with him to restore his honor, Agamemnon was like, 'cool, of course I will kill thousands of soldiers to restore my brother's pride.' Whether or not his wife Klytaimnestra was OK with that, the myth doesn't ask - in ancient Athenian culture, women had some protection but absolutely no say in anything. And the writers knew how infuriating and constricting this was. Was their marriage a love match? Who knows, who cares? But they do have children, three girls and a young son, Orestes. So, Agamemnon decides he wants to go to war, but in the process, he has the goddess Artemis against him (the gods had taken sides, given that the people in the myth were often blood related to them.) So she decided that the winds will not blow the ships to Troy, unless - Agamemnon kills his eldest daughter Iphigeneia. Who is just a girl. Agamemnon is like 'Well, if that is what it takes.' Again he has no stake in this, other than his brother's pride. So he sacrifices her! Whether or not the sacrifice actually went through, the myths differ about, but even in the kindest tellings Iphigeneia is whisked away, never to be seen again by her parents.
Klytaimnestra snaps. With her husband away, she takes a new lover, and her third daughter Elektra, being a Daddy's girl, is like: "O you can't cheat on Daddy!' Klytaimnestra is like: "He killed my child, fuck that dude!" And when Agamemnon returns, she kills him. A lot of the myths focus on Elektra and Orestes' revenge for sweet Daddykins, but other Greek writers also thought: "No. No, fuck that dude. Klytaimnestra is 100% right." But this deed, however you may feel about it, does cause a rift between Klytaimnestra and her children, that's why Terry references it. Who should they be loyal to, their father or their mother, given that they love their father who did something terrible to their mother?
To go back to Terry and Daniel, what Daniel is feeling is the full force of the body horror of the rape. When something horrible happens to your body, there is often a delayed response. You wouldn't survive if you felt everything immediately. So ironically, when your brain and nervous system signal: "Alright, we're safe now," they immediately go: "Right, we have a backlog of pain to feel. Trauma dump incoming!" Especially when your body is a little weakened, as it is even in omegas during pregnancy, the full force can swamp you, and that is what Daniel is working through. And no apology can take that work away from anyone. The only way out is through.
Now what makes Terry is special person and a special man is that he's actually quite in tune with other people's feelings. He is very, very soft with Daniel after this. So there's no rough sexytimes for quite a while. Problem is they both like it on the rough side, and Daniel misses that, under the fear. And this is where Terry really is quite extraordinary. Most raping husbands would not self-reflect about that. He does. It doesn't excuse anything, but that is the one redeeming quality that allows them to hold onto each other - he really changes his behaviour, he knows when Daniel is trying to grit his teeth and bear it and he doesn't let him. And he knows what Daniel likes, still. Danny simply needs to feel safe enough, and cherished enough, to feel his way through the pain back to him.
Like, most people who do this to their spouse would be incapable of recognising and changing their behaviour, and that's why they end up with rat poison in their food, not a second chance at love.
"My darling, you're such a child, you think by saying ‘I'm sorry’ all the past can be corrected." 
That's the difficulty. Terry can't do all that much to correct this. Just like in canon, he chose power over love, and just like in canon, he has no way of amending it and is haunted by it for the rest of his days. It'll have to come from Daniel, all the work to heal from this, and the fact that he gets himself through this tells you of his strength. Klytaimnestra didn't choose that path, and Terry is saying that he understands it if Daniel can't take it, but he'd rather risk that than live without him. He lives with danger every day. But living without Daniel - he can't, he loses his goddamn mind. And if he had understood that before, he'd never have raped him.
But he was arrogant, and butthurt, and entitled, and petty, and he underestimated Daniel and what he meant to him. Who loves the air they breathe? Who spares it much thought? No one. Take it away, though, and you're not long for this world.
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zerzurianspy · 3 months ago
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some of my hcs about the other world
not all of it's inhabitants have blue skintone as there are various climatic zones on their planet, just like on ours, so some of them are blue like tihana and alexander's wife, therefore on earth they would be pale, some of them are red like alexander, therefore on earth he is tanned / black, and some are purple, because they are mixed races(if alexander and his wife had a child)
there are also various countries, cultures and languages on their planet, also just like on ours
they probably have weird ass plants and animals, like really crazy creatures that chomp their limbs off(and then they just grow out another ones lol)
all of them, every single one, are asexuals. they reproduce very responsibly, bc there is no such thing as having sex because it's pleasurable, they only do tha if they really want to raise someone and when they are ready to it. they do not have the damned cult of romance, marriage and childbirth, therefore there is no pressure for men to lose their virginity as soon as they can and there is no pressure for women to give birth, so not wanting to have children is normal
being polyamorous is normal as well for them
as their species are not so obsessed over sex and children as ours, there are no oppression and sexualization of women in their world, men actually love their wives(alexander is a living proof) yippee
we know that they can shapeshift, so i think that these aliens can take different forms, i mean, not only of humans, but also of monsters, each one is unique
however, they have common features, such as claws on hands and feet, sharp teeth, long and pointed ears(males' ears are longer and bigger than females'), weird ass eye colors, and long tails :3
lovers intertwine their tails- ok next point
they can climb on the walls and ceiling in their lizard fashion lolol
zerzurians and humans can't mate.
THEY HAVE WILD ASS FOOD IN THEIR WORLD no, because it's so different from ours and it's flavor is so intense, consuming it as a human would be lethal
their appearance can get even more weird to us, if they take a human form, it's an uncanny valley(yes, daniel suffered)
okay i think that now that's all
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lilyrizzy · 2 years ago
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ok to match you: maxiel snowed in ❄️⛄️
okay i didn't end up going 'au' on this haha sorry just general hc's but....
1. max and daniel only go somewhere snowy for the holidays bc max asks to. daniel is a little horrified at the idea of spending time in the cold volunterily, but max looks so excited showing him pictures of winter cabins online that he agrees, begrudgingly
2. the reason they are going away for the holidays is bc max came out to his dad, it went badly and so he asked daniel very quietly for a holiday 'just us, please?' daniel can't help but say yes, and he has to promise on the phone, 'next year, mum. I just- max needs me. next year we will both come.'
3. max is weirdly weather resistant, outside in just his tshirt, jeans and light jacket. meanwhile, daniel has like, his jumper, his coat, max's coat, and like ten other layers on and his teeth are still chattering. max laughs at him and tells him he is a lizard, 'because of course you must be cold blooded to be freezing like this.'
4. max gets so excited by the snow! begs daniel to make a snowman with him because he's never before. and when daniel rolls his eyes fondly and says, 'what, was there no snow in Belgium growing up?' max says all a little quieter, 'yes, but-' looking outside the window longingly, but nothing else. and daniel knows what he means and they make like, ten snowmen together- 'a whole family daniel'-because daniel doesn't know how else to bridge the gap between the childhood max had and the one he should have had:/
5. then they wake up the next day the snow is super high and there's no way daniel trusts either of them to drive into the town even if they do it for a living lol. so he just pulls max back into bed when he tries to get out because he can think of many ways to pass a day inside that don't involve leaving bed :)
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hekateinhell · 2 years ago
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Re 🖤+ a ship
I ask for…. post-IWTV Armand and Louis. I challenge you to fluffy prompts on an angsty ship. I know you’re up for the challenge.
you know that... I thought about it. I remembered the quote about their 'gentle intimacy' during those years; I remembered the mutual fondness and concern they displayed for each other even following their initial separation; I remembered Armand beginning to heal and Louis relearning happiness at Trinity Gate -- which whether you read it as platonic or romantic -- didn't happen out of thin air. So here's what I came up with for the angiest ship era in all of VC:
Who is the most affectionate?
Armand knows Louis isn't exactly the most affectionate person by any means, and he doesn't want to push him and have him retreat into himself even further -- but every once in a while, Armand will gather up what's left of his confidence (or he's that desperate) and tentatively but outwardly confidently touch Louis's elbow or lower back in a way that reinforces the message 'I'm here, I'll wait until you're ready for me.'
Who initiates the handholding?
Surprisingly, Louis. Armand lacks the presumptuous arrogance required to snatch up Louis's hand against his will and they both know this. It's not often but Louis gets used to Armand making an effort to engage him, suggesting this or that or the other. So when he doesn't and a few days go by, it gets his attention in a way most things don't.
Armand doesn't complain, he doesn't lash out or get violent. He simply retreats into himself (much like Louis) and he looks so sad and so old curled up like a gargoyle on the seat next to him that Louis can't resist taking his hand, pressing their palms together and interlacing their fingers, even if just to keep one of them alive.
Who worries more for the other?
Armand does. In a way, by virtue of his actions, he not only made himself Louis's companion but also his caretaker. He feels a certain responsibility; he needs Louis to come back to life but it's simply not happening and it's Armand's burden to bear.
Who is more likely to ask for help?
They're both awful at this during this time. I would have to say Armand though (remembering 'Help me!' at the end of IWTV).
Who is the one always losing the keys?
Who needs keys when you can scale walls like a lizard? (Louis, it's Louis; he forgets he's alive half the time).
Who leaves little love notes for the other?
During their warmer spells, Louis was inclined to gift Armand a favored novel with a brief yet loving inscription on the inside of the cover. Stories could convey more of Louis's emotions toward Armand more easily than spoken words, and Armand cherished this very purposeful invitation into Louis's thoughts.
Who can’t sleep unless the other is there?
Considering how Louis didn't even notice Armand had initially left him in IWTV, I would say Armand. But also because knows how physically weak Louis is in comparison to any other vampires that might want to hurt him, and it also triggers his deep-seated abandonment issues when Louis disappears for days on end. Even if Armand can track him easily and knows more or less exactly where he is, it still hurts in a very raw way (echo of Daniel later on, whoops).
Who is more likely to propose to the other?
For the sake of some needed levity, I'm going to refer back to my post about Armand occasionally cross-dressing during this time so they could blend in as husband and wife in certain places that they travelled to. Armand "proposed" but it was strictly a marriage of convenience.
Who introduced the other to their family first?
Well, that levity was short-lived (RIP). I'm going to steal @covenofthearticulate's answer... technically, Louis did, didn't he? :)
LMAO 😭
Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair?
Armand, but I would say it's less playing and more so grooming. Thinking back to him being in despair over Lestat being left 'dusty' and disheveled on the church floor in TVA... It's very important to Armand that those he loves appear well-put together and cared for, even if he has to do it for them himself. They will not be looking dusty, abandoned, and forgotten like Armand was in the catacombs for 300 years.
Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated?
Armand again. Louis is his responsibility now; Armand saw to that. And it's bad enough that Louis refuses his blood and previously that of his own maker's for the protection it would offer, but a weak, hungry vampire is just too much.
Armand also finds the occasional rats somewhat triggering (Santino and his rats), and altogether very off-putting.
Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other?
Armand drives out any and all vampires that might pose a threat to them. Louis doesn't consider that anything could actually hurt Armand (physically).
Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other?
Armand tries to surprise Louis with trips and outings, anything to incite an emotional response. Sometimes it works, sometimes he's rewarded with a gentlemanly kiss to his hand or an uncharacteristically sudden, tight, and trembling embrace.
Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things?
... Even my imagination can't indulge this one.
Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch?
Armand usually thinks Louis looks cold and he's right, but he's hesitant to irritate him with too much fussing. Besides, it's not a physical coldness which is easily remedied.
Sometimes Armand tucks himself up into a reading chair and closes his eyes and remains completely still for the rest of the night--he's been so tired for so long. When Louis notices (and he occasionally does), he gathers a covering from near the fireplace that's warm and soft and arranges it over Armand's shoulders and around his chest. Armand looks incredibly innocent and childlike when he mimics a mortal in repose; it can't help but invoke Louis's long-buried caregiver instincts.
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davenweenie · 1 year ago
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Lab Rats Pet Headcanons
What pets the LR characters would have and what dynamics they would have
We’ve already established that Chase would have cats, I derived my cat headcanon (Tesla the calico cat) from Aster’s cat hc (Einstein)
Chase would absolutely crochet the cats cute little hats and sweaters, especially for Einstein because she’s a Sphynx cat and gets cold easily.
Bree is a weird reptile girl (this is meant in a loving way, I think weird reptile girls are so cool) she has a whole reptile room with a few snakes and a lizard
She has the most unheard of Ball Python morphs and they all look so cool. She names them all after iconic movie characters (two of them are named after Mean Girls characters, Regina and Gretchen) and they all love it.
Oliver is terrified of the snakes when Bree moves them all into the EF penthouse.
Adam would 100% have dogs. He ends up adopting Otis when Chase moves away.
Adam does trick training with Otis and teaches him loads of tricks that he doesn’t already know.
He enters him into competitions and he starts doing Heelwork to Music (proud to say I’m friends with the person who invented this, look up Mary Ray heelwork to music if you don’t know what it is) and wins almost every single time.
When Otis retires when he’s 10, Adam gets an Australian Shepherd puppy and trains her up from scratch. He gets a bit of help from Douglas but he does to mostly himself and competes with her in the future too.
I can’t decide if Leo is a dog or cat person, I also think he would hate animals with fur and would end up getting reptiles like Bree.
Leo would have a sphynx cat after meeting Einstein and realising they feel like peaches and not like human skin. He names him Sid after Sid Viscous because his favourite band is the Sex Pistols (give me more punk!Leo)
On the other hand if Leo were to get reptiles, he would get a snow/albino corn snake for his first snake but then would later get an Urban Camo Ball Python.
It freaks the hell out of Tasha when Leo comes downstairs with one of his snakes wrapped around his shoulders.
His snakes match his style really well
Daniel would have a dog, for sure. He’d have either a Golden Retriever or a yellow Labrador. He’d get a show line Golden and a working line lab if he were to get those breeds.
He would definitely do some form of joring, he would definitely skate down the corridors of the Academy with his dog pulling him (all on proper gear ofc)
that’s it from me. let me know if you want anymore of these. I actually really enjoyed it lol
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grcetxt · 2 years ago
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GOS2 hillywood + poster dissection (spoilers!)
so, i think we all lost our collective MINDS today
when I saw that we have the release date I actually started SCREAMING (I got lots of dirty looks.) anyways I have lots and lots of thoughts that I just need to get down somewhere so buckle up cuz this will be long, rambly, and prolly won't make a whole lot of sense.
First of all, huge props to the whole hillywood team, this was a really high-quality production and I loved every second of it. I'm watching the behind the scenes vid while writing this and it's really interesting to see how such an amazing video was produced. so much work was put into it and it really paid off. Thank you guys so much for making this!
So, the scene where Crowley falls. this could just be something fun hillywood decided to do, but the fact that they worked so closely with Neil makes me wonder if this is something that we might get more of in s2. The scene with the fire (which was awesome btw) maybe not be so much, but Crowley falling from what seems to be heaven into a puddle of what I'm guessing is maybe meant to be sulphur? (I don't really know what sulphur is so correct me if I'm wrong, I'm just spewing stuff here so it could be complete nonsense) idk to me it seems like foreshadowing, especially considering that Crowley's fall isn't discussed in that much depth in s1. idk that could just be me stretching cuz I want pre-fall Crowley SO BAD. and OH MY GOD IN THE VIDEO THEY JUST CONFIRMED ITS MEANT TO BE SULPHUR I FUCKING SGHA ITS THE FALL FROM HEAVEN I KNEW IT.
The post-parody scenes AHHH. first of all, I loved how they stayed pretty much word accurate to the show, with only necessary things changed. I loved Neil in this, Maggie, and Daniel. Does more Daniel mean more Adam? he could just be there for like a fun cameo roll but it got me thinking. if weird shit was happening the first thing Crowley and aziraphale are gonna think is 'Ah shit it's the Antichrist again innit' So maybe more adam s2? idk.
(Maggie was literally me. 'DO THEY HOLD HANDS??' girl is literally the entire good omens fandom)
('the wait and see clause' SO FUNNY BUT ALSO SO MUCH PAINN)
Ok, poster time.
First off, the way they're sat back to back?? no space between them?? and IS AZ READING TO CROWLEY?? :( They make me wanna vomit /pos
Also, I noticed something in the back. a shop outside with 'give me' on the front? this could just be a generic shop but I feel like everything in the poster is deliberate. doesn't seem to mean much now but I reckon we should keep our eye out in the background of any other posters and teasers and stuff we might get. this could just be me going bonkers cuz I've been deprived of new content for SO LONG but idk I could be onto smth.
I also wanna talk about the lighting decisions. the bright light shining on aziraphale, cuz yk- he's an angel but also a little glimmer on Crowley? now it could be interpreted as like 'Oh not all hope is lost for him' but I see it differently. the fact that Crowley's light is coming from below and Azi's is coming from above?? bit on the nose. I think the fact that we've been told that Gabriel is gonna feature heavily in this, is gonna make us primarily focus on heaven (the biggest light being on Az) but that doesn't mean hells gonna be out of the picture. I think, that through the first few episodes, we're gonna be focusing on Heaven harassing Az and we won't notice hell spying on Crowley (Crowley's light being smaller, yet still very much there)
More on hell, something I didn't notice at first was a lil tiny lizard in the bottom left-hand corner. I'm pretty convinced this is supposed to be shax. I mean, we've been shown that like all the demons have some sort of animal form (Beelzebub- fly, Crowley- snake, ligur- chameleon, etc., etc.) but as far as I know, we haven't had a lizard like that yet. it has a little fire tail and it's pretty deliberately hidden (either that or I'm fucking stupid cuz I didn't notice until like 10 mins ago) I think the fact that he's not the center focus is again about how through this hell will just be kinda spying on them rather taking a center focus so that we have our guard down and are like 'WOAH' when hell does smth. but you can't fool ME Neil, I'm expecting it.
Final little closing thoughts on stuff that could be irrelevant but maybe isn't. The clock- both hands on 6, 6 episodes, what else is 6? Is half 6 a significant time? or is it just cuz 666 and like haha devil number? the old ass camera in the bottom right-hand corner, eluding to maybe olden days Crowley and aziraphale pictures?? I would die. maybe also references a scene abt the invention of the camera?? or is it just there cuz Az is nostalgic and likes antiques. am I going insane or is that a new Crowley haircut?? Crowley and Az being back to back they LOOK SO DOMESTIC ILL SOBB
again, thank you so much hillywood for this amazing parody. and thanks Neil for FINALLY answering our prayers while leaving us with like a MILLION more questions, love you Mr. Gaiman
if you actually read this, thanks! that means that someone else is as obsessed and slightly mad as me. let me know if you've got any other ideas or annotations, I love literally everything good omens so even if you think it's a reach I WANNA HEAR IT!
Edit: I'm a fukin idiot and also blind. there are 3 lizards, and literally everyone noticed them (I can't find the third one (I'm pretty sure I need glasses)) BUT YK I still reckon it's shax. or maybe the erics?? oo it might be the Erics now im thinking abt it
Another edit: I'm actually REALLY fuckin stupid. the give me sign outside is Nina's shop 'Give me coffee or give me death' (I kinda forgot there were new characters this season) BUT YK maybe still smth?? idfk
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apoptoses · 2 years ago
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3, 4, 10, go!
3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?
ADHD medication. XL Big Gulp of Coke from the gas station. No plan, we're flying by the seat of our pants. It's awful, it's probably doing a number on my nervous system, but it has worked every single time I've liked an idea so we're sticking with it.
Lately though I've also been doing Lizard Time, where I go lay in my back yard for an hour in the sun, put on a spotify playlist called Buffalo Bill Bops (yeah, that buffalo bill) and then thinking about whatever scenario I want to force Daniel through. Then I go in, write down some vague notes of how things went and any dialogue I thought was good. And....we'll see, I'm gonna sit down and try to write one of those out this week and figure out if knowing exactly what I want to happen makes things go more or less smoothly.
4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?
In a good way: obscene. I want Daniel to feel like everything Armand does is obscene, it's the life he deserves.
In a bad way: baby. I hate that as a pet name, it gives me the ick, you'll never see me have anyone call Armand baby ever.
10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?
Sometimes things haunt me in a bad way when I feel stuck or overwhelmed. Anyone who I talk to regularly knows this fucking big fic about made me insane because it's big and overwhelming and editing and chopping things into chapters made me wanna barf on a regular basis. The scrivener trial helped with that but sometimes I still look at the whole thing and side-eye it, I hate feeling like I don't know what I'm doing.
Fic-wise, @monstersinthecosmos fic where Daniel and Armand watch Videodrome lingers in the back of my mind a lot! I read it when I was struggling with severe depression (hence being a loser who hasn't commented on it yet) but I just enjoyed it so much I ended up actually renting Videodrome. And then I loved that movie so much I bought a videodrome t-shirt when this indie t-shirt brand released one haha
It's short and they're cuddling and watching this weirdo body horror movie, and Armand is having these delightful body horror adjacent thoughts about the sounds of Daniel's organs and Daniel is getting all turned on by this sex scene just. It feels like an essential snapshot of them. Their ideal date night. It has all the Armand/Daniel elements I ever want packed into one scene and really formed my image of who they are.
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dear-ao3 · 1 month ago
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welcome to singapore. formula one’s original night race and what is usually (key and operative word here being USUALLY) the most bonkers race of the whole year. 
its hot, its steamy, and a whole lot happened. its october 17th 2024, and i am a whole month late so lets hop to it. 
you might be wondering why this is kind of late. well there was a lot that happened and i needed to make sure i included everything. also this update is split between two because there was an ~ event ~ that happened that needed unfortunately its own separate update. that is coming soon. first we do have to get through singapore. 
and what makes singapore so special? well as i said its formula 1’s original night race. its also really hot. this is usually the hottest race of the season (were going to ignore qatar 2023 because that was worse but that was an outlier. also we are not at qatar yet). and its just usually kind of insane??? for example: 
well no examples actually cause it wont insert. you have to watch the compilation here
so to recap just Quickly cause trust me we really Do Not have the time. singapore has been home to:
-crashgate (2008 where renault had piquet jr purposefully crash so alonso could win and this got exposed because piquet jr got fired the following season and exposed the whole thing. at the same race massa left the pitlane with his fuel hose still attached to the car and as a result lost the race and this cost him the championship and hes now suing over it cause if crashgate hadnt happened he might have won)
-giant lizards on track
-daniel ricciardo being asked if the sweat he is sweating is real sweat and him saying “its real sweat, im a high performance athlete, athletes sweat, kikiki rah! sweat sweat! woo woo!!”
-sebastian vettel won the singapore gp an unholy amount of times and also had the coolest helmets here, (one of them lit up) he also caused a lot of problems here. he is referred to as the lion of singapore because he has the most poles, most wins and most laps led at the circuit
-im about 95% sure that this is where max verstappen, a known geography nerd, pretended to not know what the monaco flag looked like just to talk to charles?
-whole lot of ice baths, sometimes even together and sometimes with sex noises
-also to note: max verstappen has never won here
and we gotta talk briefly about last year:
last year notably this was the single race that a red bull did Not win. carlos won by quite literally the sheer power of friendship and audacity and ignoring the ferrari strategy. he qualified on pole after max got knocked out of q2 by LIAM LAWSON (who was SUBBING for daniel ricciardo who still had a broken hand) (remember this was max’s most dominant era) and it came down to the end, someone crashed towards the end i don't remember who, but there was a late safety car and the running order was carlos, lando, george and lewis. both mercs pitted for new tires, carlos and lando stayed out on their old tires. (remember new tires means car goes faster) 
and what ended up happening was that carlos slowed down just enough to get lando into the DRS zone to give him just a little extra speed to stay in front of the two mercedes cars who were trying to pass lando and then carlos. theres a real famous radio of carlos’s race engineer saying “you have lando .8 (seconds) behind with DRS” and carlos saying “yeah its on purpose” 
let me remind you all that they were not on the same team. there were no team orders for lando to stay behind carlos, he could have tried to pass, but he didn't. somehow there was enough besties energy between them for lando to understand exactly what carlos was doing and they did in fact pull it off. carlos won the race, lando came in second, george crashed into the barrier on the last lap and lewis came in third.
george actually has crashed on the last lap all three times that carlos has won.
but yea. singapore is usually insane. usually a disaster. usually someone crashes at least once. and theres usually a safety car or a red flag or two or several. 
and this year there were some changes:
they changed the layout of the track slightly, getting rid of one of the corners i think and adding a 4th DRS zone for extra speedy
but we are not quite there yet. first we gotta get through the days leading up to the race.
starting with mick and esteban who played paddle together and as usual they managed to look like a married couple
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somebody had george do an event at a puma store and he got very very excited about it and kept waving at people in the most unhinged way possible 
lando announced that he is officially having a section of a grandstand in silverstone be designated for lando fans …. tbh not sure what the purpose of this is but it definitely happened. and i think it sold out. 
everyone went off and played paddle together. well, everyone except for george. 
george played paddle with his team at a different time, and got absolutely soaked by the rain.
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this is interesting because the last time george was photographed in the pouring rain after…. idk brazil?? last year??? he got pneumonia. and still drove the car and finished out the season. but he was coughing everywhere. and generally not vibing. and told the fia that they should fix the calendar to make it more conducive for general driver health (as in don't have a double header when the two races are on exact opposite points on the globe) and the fia responded by making the last 6 races back to back triple headers. 
lando and daniel had the return of their individual jpg accounts on instagram. i might have put this on last weeks post. that was wrong. sorry. things get jumbled and i don't have a good system for this lol.
charles and pierre had fun with their dogs. i cant find the pictures. trust me that it happened. 
charles also did an unboxing of a pack of driver cards for a fan. and its a very grainy and baffling video. mostly because he explicitly calls max verstappen hot. as in he pulls out max’s card and says “ooooo we are getting to the hot ones!!!” 
and of course i cant find the link.
anyway this was a massive improvement from 2019 when, upon being asked if he thought max was “pretty” by seb (seb actually said british but charles misheard and thought hs said pretty) he blue screened for several minutes and was like “uhhhh i don't-i don't know”
max and daniel and lando all flew to singapore together. this will become relevant later on.
so singapore is Not alex albon’s home race (he races under the thai flag, but hes half thai half british) but he sorta counts singapore as a home race and he had a cool helmet:
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also with cool helmets were lando, oscar, and zhou
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oscar’s even looked a bit like seb’s from 2013 which made many people feel things as this was Seb’s Track
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but in the wise words of one lando norris “if you're blinded its probably oscar, if you're like damn….whos that? then its probably me”
mclaren decided to do special suits for this weekend. they looked like cheese sticks.
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petronas (which is apparently an oil company) celebrated 50 years and so mercedes did a special livery for it. 
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vcarb also did a special livery. it was….well i’ll just show you.
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yes. that is a denim livery. no i have no idea either. 
one team definitely did not have a special livery and that was red bull. 
red bull came out and said that they would not be running any other special liveries for the year because they added too much weight to the car, and their car is already not really working that well. 
well they actually phrased it in a far more perplexing way than that: ​​
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and if you're thinking that hm. that’s worded a little weirdly. also note that this was posted the same day that their head of brand communications and etc went to moto gp. 
then, even more interestingly, they said: 
“we traced the development history and it turned out that the first mistake we made was with an underbody upgrade in 2023 barcelona. that was also the race that checo started having problems, but we didn't take it so seriously because max kept winning.”
now. that's fucking wild. (i think redbull said newey was not involved in that update but i cant remember)
its also fucking wild bECAUSE there is a clip from drive to survive. and if you're unfamiliar with drive to survive, its the netflix show about formula 1 (mostly grounded in facts but they spin the drama to create narratives and they also leave stuff out, still a good show tho). and i believe it was in the season about the 2021 season (?) which i think is season 4 (?) there is a scene where the various team principals are having some sort of meeting to talk about porpoising. which is when the car bounces up and down and it was a safety risk and blah blah etc. this was the first year of the cost cap (meaning no unlimited funds to fix the issue), and the mercedes car had this problem really badly. 
i think that the context of this conversation is that toto is saying that teams should either share how theyve solved the problem (cause some teams had, this was a problem that affected almost everyone, something with the regulations) or they should be allowed to use more money to fix it even if it meant going above the cap cause it was a safety issue. im not sure. its something along those lines. 
anyway. this was Peak christian horner and toto wolff insanity. max and lewis were battling for the lead all year and christian took this opportunity to essentially yell at toto and it resulted in quite possibly one of the most stand out moments of drive to survive, which is the infamous change your fucking car clip:
and yeah even though this was for a different season, its still fucking hilarious cause guess what? toto was right. they did need to change their fucking car and checo Had said that the car was fucked And they ignored it. look whos laughing now red bull. its definitely not you.
and last but absolutely most definitely not least: mercedes posted the best pr of the season. 
no i am not joking. 
what could possibly be the best pr of the year??
lewis and george dressing eachother, obviously. 
and if theres one video you watch on this post i sincerely hope that it is this one:
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i don't know whos idea this video was, but it is everything. its wonderful. theres a mother version where theyre picking the clothes. theres another version where lewis does a legitimate heel click. ankle showing, the fact that you can tell theres about 50 people watching them based on how many people start laughing. its an artistic masterpiece. hats off to you mercedes pr team (just this once).
moving into the weekend itself.
and kevin magnussen spoke words about his race ban. here’s what he had to say: “you get punished and then you come back. and you're all ready to fuck shit up now! its funny how that works” please remember this for later. 
also there were a lot of jokes about what he was doing on his week off when he got banned, but turned out that he was visiting sick children at the ronald mcdonald house in copenhagen
ollie bearman was allowed to take over the ferrari social media accounts. not sure Why they allowed this but it was hilarious. he did the instagram and the twitter and then he was also a track side reporter for a while
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he mostly used his new social media powers to post insane pictures of kimi, who might i remind you, is in no way affiliated with ferrari.
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franco, daniel, yuki and alex all did a fan forum together and clearly no one from either teams social media team was there for some reason because they ended up with a weird video of them all being baffled by using a 360 go pro video as pretty much the only content from that and during this video alex made fun of yuki for being short and daniel brought back the “ki ki ki!” chant that he (and max) love so much.
it was sweetcorn, zhou’s cat’s, birthday this week and stake posted more photoshopped pictures of sweetcorn in the garage 
oscar flamed lando for wearing a hoodie in jeans in singapore when it was 38C and humid as hell 
instagram
george flamed lando for this same thing later in the week on his instagram story. he filmed the sun, then panned to lewis who was standing under a giant umbrella to block the sun, saying “super sunny, sunglasses on, looking cool.” then he panned to lando in a long sleeve shirt and a vest, jeans and a hat, with his arms crossed like he was shivering. “ready for winter season already…”
valtteri bottas posted another f1 track guide, where he cycles around the track and explains all the turns
a bunch of drivers all got asked to sign pictures of their younger selves a la that one trend. it was entertaining. 
and someone figured out that williams photoshopped franco’s face over the photos of logan that they use for announcing driver points and etc. u know, all the promotional ones that they take at the beginning of the year? they also spelled his name wrong (again). 
and pierre and yuki caused some problems in little go kart? scooter? things??
“saph.” 
yes, dearest reader??
“this is singapore. surely you have more interesting things to be talking about than weird go karts?” 
why yes i do. my apologies. 
so mclaren was under fire for a potentially illegal rear wing. 
essentially, there was a little tiny part on the back of the mclaren rear wing that flexes, giving them a much smaller version of the full DRS (when you open the rear wing to go faster within 1s of car in front of you) (except they were using this all the time). this came to light during/after the previous race in baku. it seems like they found a loophole and they are exploiting it. which is not unheard of even remotely for any team. its kinda what makes the whole thing interesting.
the fia was not really doing anything about it, and said that everyone was in the regulations, despite alleged complaints from other teams, so max, charles and checo decided to take matters into their own hands.
max said:
“i mean, its quite clear, of course, that its moving at speed. it might be smart, it might be not smart, but at the end of the day, its up to the fia, of course, to decide it its legal or not….of course baku was not the first time it was used. there were other tracks as well. i guess its important to come with a clarification. but that's not only on the rear wing. its the front wing as well. but what is allowed, how much it is allowed to bend, all these kinds of things, right? so we just have to wait and see from our side.” 
charles went a bit further:
“i think fred (vasseur) will go on that matter a bit more into detail, but from what i have been told, it is controversial to say the least. i will leave that here and i will let fred comment on it a bit further” 
that is still slightly tame for charles leclerc. worry not. he said more unhinged things later on, such as “we don't have a mini drs as an upgrade” *laughs* when asked how he felt about the ferrari upgrades.
fred did later comment on the mclaren wing. fred being the team principal of ferrari. he had a very team principal response:
"The front wing we agree is a grey area because you can't design a part of the car with the intention of deformation [flexing]. Intention is difficult to manage," explained Vasseur.
"The rear wing story is completely different because in the article [regulations] there is a maximum deflection. This is not grey. It's black and black. For me, it's clear."
no one went as far as checo though, who straight up told the press:
"It’s clear that it’s out of the regulation. It’s an illegal car. But it seems like, it is allowed. I'm very surprised."
red bull was very quick to play the pr game with this. they issued a statement clarifying his comment, saying that checo’s accent (hes mexican) made it sound like he had said “illegal” when he had actually said “legal” making his statement instead read as “It’s clear that it’s out of the regulation. It’s a legal car.” which. doesnt really make too much sense and is kind of weird for them to even say. but that was the story red bull went with.
call outs aside, mclaren maintained that their rear wing was legal because it passed all the fia tests. this also came after mclaren started leading the championship, so its not Really a surprise that these call outs happen (if anyone was around in 2021 when mercedes and red bull were fighting for the championship they were calling eachother out left right and center every other week for everything under the sun and then even a few things under the moon). oscar expressed this, saying that:
"Obviously in the sport you find every bit of performance that you can without breaking the rules, and that is what we are doing and what you need to do to become a championship-winning car and team.”
he also maintained that the rear wing was legal (and even said he had no idea about the flexing, which is possible), as did zak brown, the ceo. zak also though continued to blame it on “oh well were leading the championship now! obviously people will hate us!!!” as seen here: 
"I think it's inevitable now that we're leading the championship that everyone will be looking at our car and saying, 'not sure I like that', and that's the nature of the game."
and also here
"I think it's great for the championship. We're running at the front, so there are going to be things that are clearly working well on our race car. And to your point, everyone else is going to try to speed up and slow us down at the same time. Welcome to Formula 1."
which you know is true. but we cant be running illegal cars can we now, zak?? 
still, on friday, mclaren released this statement on the whole rear wing debacle:
"Whilst our Baku rear wing complies with the regulations and passes all FIA deflection tests, McLaren have proactively offered to make some minor adjustments to the wing following our conversations with the FIA. We would also expect the FIA to have similar conversations with other teams in relation to the compliance of their rear wings.” 
which is kind of funny cause theyre like oooooh we didn't do it! definitely not! but just in case we did we will make sure we never do it again!!! but also!!!!! hehe we’re going to drag you all down with us XD
the fia then did a little more digging and said this: 
“The FIA is closely monitoring the flexibility of bodywork on all cars and reserves the right to request teams to make modifications at any point during the season…However, if a team successfully passes all deflection tests and adheres to the regulations and technical directives, they are deemed to be in full compliance, and no further action will be taken…The FIA is currently reviewing data and any additional evidence that has emerged from the Baku GP and is considering any mitigating measures for future implementation…This is part of the standard process when scrutineering technical legality, and the FIA retains the authority to introduce regulatory changes during the season if required.”
(hilariously, the rear wing was the only one under fire, as we know fred vasseur was also talking about the mclaren front wing, which was found to be probably mostly legal after baku, so ferrari made their own probably mostly legal version of the front wing to catch up to mclaren)
in other words….we smell something hinky going on here and it may be a rat called mclaren.
later though, the wing was found to be illegal. the fia said that the flap edges were not allowed to bend on the straights.
so after all that. they were still in the wrong. 
in any case. how about a nice dose of contract news. 
starting with logan sargeant 
yes, i mean logan sargeant. the ex williams driver. hes been seen now a few times in the indy car paddock and its heavily rumored that he might be getting a contract in indy car sometime soon because hes supposedly doing a test in november.
but back to f1. 
and very surprisingly, george russell???
so no, george has not signed a contract. mostly because his current contract at mercedes goes through i believe the end of 2025. but there is talk. some quotes came out from bradley lord, who is the mercedes communications chief, about how the team want to sign max for 2026 potentially. supposedly, he said that “we’re aiming to bring max verstappen to mercedes in 2026. that’s no secret” and as u all know they just recently signed kimi antonelli so would they give up their fresh young kimi talent or would they give up george??? well. supposedly bradley Also said this “they’ll [kimi and george] be focused on making their mark next year. but if max doesnt join. we’re certainly keen to continue with the same line up!” 
which a lot of people took to mean that holy shit theyre going to drop george. george who worked his absolute ass off to get into the mercedes seat is going to get dropped for max who will only want to be in f1 for like 2 more years at that point. 
until! mercedes made a statement that said that all statements said by bradley about the team wanting max for 2026 had been “fabricated.” so george lives to see another day. or does he???
im not sure cause chrtisian horner then made a comment that said “george russell is out of a contract at the end of next year, you’d be foolish not to take that into consideration.” which is Intriguring. cause imagine if u will george at red bull. yeah i cant really either. someone would die and it wouldnt be him. 
in any case, mercedes said basically that george is their Guy and they want him at mercedes for awhile blah blah blah. but again, this is formula 1 and that means positively nothing because anything can happen ever. 
case in point: the red bull seat drama. well not the red bull seat drama. the vcarb seat drama. 
as we know by now, there have been rumors pretty much all season that danny rics is going to get replaced by liam lawson. well this week those rumors got ramped up from about a 7/10 to a 234234/10. nothing was confirmed, obviously, but everyone, and i mean everyone, from reporters to drivers to well again, everyone, seemed kind of convinced that this Could be daniels last race. im not quite sure Where this rumor evolved from, but it was pretty intense and pretty rampant. so just keep that in the back of your mind. 
moving forward. max verstappen. he decided to be an icon this week. well. more than usual.
first, when asked about how he felt about ferrari being able to take points off of mclaren, max said “i hope so! for them and myself” which is funny, we love a menace. 
he was also asked if daniel deserves to stay in f1 for next year (because remember there are rumors that this is his last race. i know theres a lot going on here, try to keep up) and max said 
“it doesnt really matter or not if he deserves to be here. a lot of people deserve to be here and some don't deserve to be here that's life also you know in all kinds of sports. that's how it goes.”
he also said this while sitting next to lance. 
but then the real icon shit started. 
at the press conference on media day max was asked, as drivers normally are, about his car. he said: 
“went into qualifying, i knew the car was fucked.” 
the moderator for the panel said “thank you max. lets watch our language going forward.” you know because recently theres been all that talk of the fia wanting the drivers to not curse on the radio and etc etc. we know people have taken issue with this, weve seen it before, but i believe that this was the first time it was said in a press conference. 
max went on to say “if its not in this room, maybe somewhere else, everyone swears. some people a bit more than others. it also depends a bit on what language you speak. of course, abuse is something else. in other sports you don't run around with a mic attached to you. i think a lot of people say a lot of bad things when they are full of adrenaline in other sports. it just doesnt get picked up. so i think it already just starts with not broadcasting it. this will help a but more than putting bans on drivers because, for example, i couldn't even say the f word. and that's not even that crazy. i mean, the car was not working. the car is f’d. and then, excuse my for the language, but come on. like. what are we? five year olds? six year olds? even if a fice year old or a six year old is watching, i mean, they will eventually swear anyway. even if the parents wont, or they will not allow it, when they grow up, they will walk around with their friends and they will be swearing.”
he also Extra later said that “the word [fuck] is ordinarily used in speech as [i] learned it, english not being [my] native language.” which is Exceptionally hilarious. max definitely knows what curse words are he knows that everyone knows this. 
all you know fairly standard and normal shit for this topic of discussion. we have seen it all before.
this was actually shockingly similar to something that sebastian vettel said back in 2018 about swearing on the radios (because seb used to swear kind of a lot on the radios) he said: 
“do you think comparing to football if you have a microphone on a [football player’s] mouth, everything he says is something nice and is a nice message when the guy tackles him and maybe sometimes he fouls him or not?”  
seb has also come under fire for swearing before and some of his other responses have included "I think if you are sensitive you should watch, I don't know, some kids' program. You have the remote control in your hand, so you can choose."
and i cannot find it unfortunately but he did also say at one point that he doesnt think about kids (or his own kids?) while driving the car, in terms of whether or not he is swearing over the radio. 
prior to this press conference, fia president mohammed ben sulyam asked f1 to limit the swears on live tv and said “they say the f word how many times per minute?” (he also compared them to searing like rappers. lewis called him out on that statement for being borderline racist) which is just. sir we have better things to be thinking about. (id also like to remind everyone that not many of the drivers like this guy, i know i talked about it on some other update but at least someone maybe lewis said that they never had confidence in him) in any case, no one thought anything of it.
until This Happened:
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and then later, This:
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max, and pretty much everyone else, as you could imagine, were highly displeased with this. 
because yeah. three time world champion max emillian verstappen has to do a day of community service for saying that his car is fucked. 
again i repeat: A DAY OF COMMUNITY SERVICE.
for context, there has been exactly 1 driver that i can think of who has actively tried to not swear on the radio and that was mick schumacher. one time he didn't get into q2 or q3 of qualifying and instead of cursing on the radio he said “uhh beep! beep beep beep!” as if censoring his own swear words. he did though make an exception and cursed out nikita mazepin once after he nearly tried to kill him.
and with that, finally, we are at the practice sessions. 
see, i told you that singapore is off the walls. 
in any case. practice 1 and 2. 
franco colapinto accidentally drove through the alpine pit box. he found the whole ordeal hilarious and himself, williams, alpine and even duracell made fun of the event on instagram
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checo got ahead of pierre on the outlap. pierre very ominously said over radio “ill remember him.” 
george found a wall. not dissimilarly to how he found the wall last year on the last lap of the race. he also spent a lot of time during practice ranting about the tires and how they were inconsistent. so much so that pirelli had to have a sit down with him and ban him from talking about tires. it didn't really work. also alex albon joined in on the tire bashing in a symbol of friendship.
charles stood with max on the swear ban situation by cursing over his radio during practice
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and fernando alonso had something go so drastically wrong with his car that he pressed every button at once he later said that this was inspired by the fact that one time his oven freaked out and he pressed every button at once and it fixed it
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zhou managed to go faster than valtteri which was insane and out of the ordinary.
clearly someone new was in charge of the graphics because….
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and there was more graphic action. red bull was not doing too hot, as evidenced by This very upsetting and embarrassing graphic
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it was also evidenced by the fact that franco decided to race max on his outlap, which max found funny and started laughing about. franco clowned him on instagram for this. love an unhinged little rookie. (weve said it a million times we will say it again: welcome back sebastian vettel) 
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max was asked about his community service penalty after the practice sessions. he was asked by the reporter if she could “have a word” about it and max said “no words” and walked away.
post practices we had the start of the ice baths. including alex albon, who managed to flame george russell in an instagram comment by saying that “For once it’s not George topless… 👀”
and checo was joined in the bath by a rubber duck
and of course, we also had the return of the infamous nico hulkenberg and kevin magnussen ice bath
keep in mind that prior to the ice bath, nico said “singapores fabulous and its one of the highlights of the year. i love the track, the challenge of it, and the physicality of the race. ill also be doing my ice baths with kevin again, so ive brought something special to wear!” 
straight into practice three which i will do a better job covering because….well you will see why. but to start some fans gave will buxton a leo pillow, which will delivered to the ferrari garage and the mechanics put it in charles’s car.
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and then, of course, we had the return of everyones favorite little blonde guy: nico rosbeg. 
also like if you need to take a break and grab some water of a snack id recommend doing that now. i know this is a long ass one. my apologies, i unfortunately don't control f1. if i did they would be allowed to swear. 
anyway. practice 3. 
we had crofty and anthony davidson discussing the normal stuff. the ground effects, the set ups, the curbs etc etc. and as they were talking about the heat crofty said: 
“so you will notice that there are not one, not two but three people in the worlds smallest commentary box as we all huddle together, which is not the nicest thing on the planet when we are in singapore because i can feel the heat radiating off of nico rosberg as i speak as he has just bolted from the paddock into the commentary box here! uh nico, glad you're with us. we’re looking at the red bull. did their lack of pace surprise you yesterday?” 
“its a pleasure to be here again. and crofty we shouldn't be complaining, we have the aircon right on us. its pretty awesome.”
“we can feel the warmth coming off of you. you're like a pirelli tire that’s just done a qualifying session.” 
*sighs* “so uh yes um! you were speaking about max verstappen there?” 
welcome back nico rosberg. oh how we have missed you. there is a clip for that scene actually. you too can see nico rosberg being called an omega in heat in real time.
not only did nico have opinions about the air conditioning, he also had opinions about max, saying that “he could loose the world championship” if the car doesn't get sorted out. (there was no grip, hard to drive, etc etc).
he also Instantly started giving mechanical insight (as usual) and anthony even said that he wanted to “pick [nico’s] brain about three wheeling” and nico was more than happy to get picked: 
“yeah so the worst about three wheeling is that obviously as you're going through the corner, your car rolls to the outside, yeah? the first thing that it will pick up is the inside front. worst thing about that is that it disturbs the aerodynamics massively as that tire disconnects from the ground. cause the aerodynamics are developed with the tires connected to the ground and the air flow. and the front tire has a huge impact in terms of flow on the overall aerodynamics. if it comes off the ground suddenly you've got air flow under the tire and it really influences really badly the main reason that you want to stop that and you want to stop that by mechanically going very soft on the front or of course adding some front load aerodynamic and as you can hear, its very very challenging to get those different elements right so that your car performs optimally.” 
so there you have it. just one problem the drivers and the teams were trying to navigate this weekend. 
another thing they were trying to navigate? lizards on track. 
ted was explaining something when crofty went “now hold on two seconds ted, weve got a lizard on track.” 
ted, surprisingly, went “AH! great! we havent had one so far! fantastic!” 
there were many lizards last year. they named it larry apparently. crofty told ted to go talk to larry and make sure he was safe. he also called the present lizard lionel. 
ted had information to report and it was that the lizard looked like it was doing “the floss.” i can only assume he meant the fortnite dance. 
ted also had to report that mercedes was not doing great, but! fred vesti (one of the development drivers for mercedes) had spent all night in the simulator doing work for them and the last time they had had him do that it had panned out quite well. 
nico though had doubts and was like mmm well idk how much he can do because “it can only do as well as the data you put in it and with the wind tunnel information that is just not accurate” 
anthony was a development driver for mercedes back when nico was there, so crofty naturally had to ask: “out of interest, how many late nights did you have making sure that nico rosberg could win the 2016 formula 1 word championship?” 
“loads. he owes it all to me i think.”
“i havent offered you a beer for that yet so that still remains to be done.” 
and while that was happening, fernando was nearly hitting lionel the lizard who was still on the track. 
“we are told the track is clear, but just have a look for the lizard,” his engineer said.
“no it is in the middle of the track,” fernando insisted, correctly. 
the camera zoomed in on the lizard strutting. and boy, was it strutting. the marshalls even impersonated it  
“that is a stride with the purpose of lawrence stroll. so frankly maybe it is lawrence the lizard coming across the track there,” crofty said. ladies and gentlemen, the pinnacle of motorsport.
the session was then red flagged. and crofty speculated if there was a lizard remover to nico rosberg, who wanted nothing to do with it. 
“can i go from lawrence the lizard to lawrence stroll?” he asked, referring to lawrence signing newey, as nico practically leaked to the press a few weeks ago. newey will Not though be helping with the 2025 car, but the 2026 car, which is the one with the new regulations. 
nico tried to ask about the money aspect, or the “insider information” and if he got equity in the team and etc etc. 
crofty found this funny. “its always about money with you isnt it? did you get equity in alpine?” 
unfortunately nico didn't answer because one of the marshalls started chasing the lizard off the track. and it turned into a regular drag race. so much so that the f1 instagram account made fun of it. 
but back to newey. he does in fact have equity in the team because he is a managing partner. 
this intrigued nico. “how much?” 
crofty, *scoffing* “you cant ask me questions like that?” 
“and do you know who did the deal? andy jordan! so how much equity does andy jordan have in the team? because usually its 20 percent!” 
“look i don't know officially but i think its about 2 percent. in the f1 team”  
“that's similar to what patty lowe got at the time when he went to williams, he was taken from mercedes. he also got a certain percentage.” 
“okay. so that would be in the right ballpark there.” 
“2 percent is a lot, by the way. because that team is valued at 1.6 billion and it is only going to go up.” and nico is right, its 32 million. “so that 2 percent is going to be north of 50 million very soon.”
and then crofty made fun of him about the supposed alpine deal that he told everyone about the last time he was commentating: “so you’re thinking, hm maybe i should have responded to that email.” 
nico then provided some insight into whether or not newey is going to make aston a championship winning team. and he said it depends on how it all gels together and how well everyone seems to work together. essentially newey can lead them to the kool aid but he cant force them to drink. 
nico also expressed that he wanted adrian to come on his podcast and explain how he can draw better than a computer because it would be “so so cool” 
crofty said “should we ask him if he wants to go on your podcast? how about adrian newey on the sky f1 podcast with yourself and f1tv’s matt baker?”
nico, disappointedly, “can i- can i not prefer my podcast?” 
“not when you're working for us for the weekend!” 
*mumbling* “okay, sorry….we can talk about it after the weekend” 
“other podcasts are available, but not when you’re working for us mate.” 
and then we started to properly delve into the daniel rumors again. 
according to ted, liam lawson was down in the pit lane, specifically in daniels side of the garage. and he was “hanging around, looking at what daniel’s doing in the car and seemingly getting to know his car crew and uh he has to do that if they decide to put him in for the us grand prix. while daniel, if he can get that car to fourth or third, will be thinking, no i can hang onto this drive.”
though to be fair, this was what liam had been doing all season. 
and red bull seemed to have fixed their issues from yesterday because max was back at the top of the times, and even said that “the car is much better” 
and mclaren, despite not having their illegal rear wing, were right behind red bull.
“I need a new set of gloves for the next stint” george said over the radio.
“so what's happening to george here is that he is sweating his hands off,” nico explained. “and its horrible when you have sweaty gloves cause the glove connects really well to the steering wheel and your hand inside the glove is like going and slipping around and its a horrible feeling. that's also why sometimes you see under the safety car drivers holding their hands up, trying to get some wind in those gloves to cool it down. so that's why he needs new gloves. now back to whoever i was talking about-” 
“i was playing golf this morning,” crofty interrupted. 
“i was making an important point!” 
“i was playing golf,” crofty continued, ignoring nico. “and talk about sweaty gloves i lost my grip after about three holes today. that's why my putting was so bad” 
“crofty. i appreciate your golf so much but i was making an important point.” 
“we’d all forgotten what you were saying.” 
*softly* “i forgot too” 
(there is a clip for this one)  
nico remembered his point a little bit later. it was about the track layout and how he likes this layout better. and the second point was about the geometry of max’s car and how they might have overcorrected the steering of the car and compensated another part of it. i don't know much about this part of cars, but it seemed like he might be correct.
meanwhile, george bonked into the wall. or he had a lockup. they couldn't really tell. but he spun around and went back into the pits. 
this was just an example of how difficult the track is for everyone, turns, big cars and concrete barriers. and a lot of going fast. and a hell of a lot of heat. 
“you know when you used to train when you were driving?” crofty asked nico. “and youd go on the treadmill and youd do uphill walking at a really fast pace and then youd play seven hands of poker while you were doing that?”
“you remember that?” 
*unintelligible crofty noises* 
nico continued. “well that was because i had to stop cycling to loose the leg muscle! cause that was another kilo!” (yes that is true. weve talked about it before. nico stopped cycling to lose leg muscle to drop his weight so that he could go faster to beat lewis in 2016, this was pre driver weight requirements when most of them all had EDs). 
“but i was so impressed, by not just your uphill walking pace because it was pretty fast, but also the mental pressure you were putting yourself under to play seven hands of poker. when it came to races like this were mental fatigue can set in because of the conditions, is that what you were training for at that moment?” 
(the conditions being the insane heat)
“the poker got me to win at this track,” nico laughed. but then he went to explain the conditions in the car. “the race time is usually very long here, 80% humidity, its, you're in a sauna in the car. we lose up to eight pounds in body weight in the car in two hours. could you imagine losing 8 pounds from sweating in two hours? i mean its really like, its torture in the car.”
“but its also, having to concentrate for two hours when sometimes you struggle for two minutes.” 
“yeah and then the sweat starts dripping in your eyes and your head is pounding from the heat. the concentration in the end can be very difficult yeah.” 
this was part of the reason why they took out those corners, to reduce the race time a little. 
and don't worry, if you thought that we were going to go a whole session with nico not talking about lewis even once, well this is not that session. 
lewis had just done a flying lap, going third fastest when nico said “horrible, horrible lap for lewis. not in terms of, i don't know if in terms of driving but in terms of lap time just so far off george (who was p1), horribly far off.” 
anthony tried to point out that it depends on the driver and if they screw up a corner here or there. nico was not having it. 
“but for lewis its the whole lap. hes lost just consistently though the whole lap.”
unfortunately, that was all we would get though because max was back out on soft tires and we were about to get the question answered which was: did red bull fix max’s car??
well. nico rosberg was about to take us through the lap.
“okay here we go so now you’ve got drs of course you've got to bring it back up before braking, eighty- fifty meters braking you've got to hit that inside curb perfectly and stay in the white line there. roll into this corner, straighten your steering wheel so you can get that traction down flat and now all the way left so you're a little bit straight with a smaller angle there. deep braking, fifth gear, really carrying the speed all the way to the wall there on the left hand side. now its important to drive in a veeeery smooth way through this corner here, minimum steering, then to the right, straight line the braking again, deepen eighty meters, ooo he missed that inside by like 30 centimeters but nailed the outside. deep braking here. nailed the inside there, again straight steering wheel! put the traction down and then quickly back to the right to have a big, big angle turning in there carrying the speed. a little bit of understeer mid corner then got a snap. now here is difficult, yeah? you’ve gotta brake so deep just carry that speed in, car looked very very settled there. and here is just like, i don't know, magically finding your way through there. now, Softly to go right to open up this corner, misses the apex there by 30 centimeters. bit of traction, you can see the rear starting to overheat so you get a bit of a loose rear. braking deep there, again, missed the apex by like ten centimeters. okay, using the tracking you can see the rear moving around a little bit more around now. now again using minimum steering input, now nail this braking there, around, again, it will be around seventy meters. oh the others are using that curb, he maybe missed it or i don't know, looked pretty good. and now its just like Massive attack through here, again, missed the apex…oooo lost time there. he couldn't commit as much as he wanted to and actually four tenths off russell so this is a bit of a big setback for them actually because we expect leclerc and norris to be faster than russell.” 
despite all of that. max still managed to go p3. with a 1:30.5. on softs. george was doing 1:30.125 on softs. he was in p1. then lando went fastest again a 1:29.646. (pole last year was a 1:30.9). (max ended up finishing the session p4. that was where he finished practice 3 last year too, but last year he qualified 11th)
lando also continued to hit all the curbs, as he does because its his style and the car likes it. the red bull clearly doesnt like doing that. 
meanwhile, george accidentally drove onto the escape road. not sure how he managed that. 
“uh lets focus on driving instead of focusing on (unintelligible) because honestly im not feeling much also because the feeling is shit. we are very slow,” charles said, much to everyones general shock. “i just have no grip”
also baffling, at least to nico rosberg was that checo was “fifteenth in a red bull. and no mistake on the lap.” he speculated that checo could be running something different to max but whos to say.
meanwhile they were changed the front wing slightly on charles’s car to try and fix…something.
and franco was going 4 tenths faster than alex in the low speed corners. which was again, intriguing. 
but, it was time for our beloved nico rosberg to leave. but not before he said who he thought was looking good. 
“there is only one person looking good. lando, who is in a league of his own, who os driving phenomenally. the way that he is driving his car puts it on rails and then the other surprise this morning has been george russell, who has extracted the maximum from his mercedes. so i would mention those two and that's it theres no one else.” 
and then he went off to interview toto. which was Very Interesting indeed
mostly because he was hounding toto about why lewis’s set up was so bad but toto was generally ignoring him.
because if you will remember, lewis said that he didn't think he would even get into q3 with his car in the state he was, and he said that his set up was not as good as george russells. lewis finished the session in p7, george in p2. and if anyone could get to the bottom of it, it was nico rosberg. unfortunately, toto wasn't giving much away. 
nico also praised franco after the fp3 session, saying that “colapinto's super impressive, straight from the get go always within two tenths from albon. and we know albon is super quick.” which he says is very impressive because “you know in formula 2 you see speed, but you don't see this kind of speed”
also he was wearing this
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“alright,” crofty said, several hours later. “enough of this practice. lets get into qualifying here in singapore.”
yeah. we’re only at qualifying. in all fairness i Did tell you this was going to be a lot. 
and the track was not in great condition. which was wonderful.
charles was struggling and got fined for having his tire pressure adjusted in the pit box, lewis’s rear of his car was “sliding a lot,” max was not in p1, lance was somewhere near the bottom of the times and lando immediately went fastest. 
so all in all a pretty normal q1. that was, until alex albon briefly went p1 and george decided to bash the tires (after being told not to!)
“ive got no fucking grip mate!” he cursed loudly and over his radio. breaking two rules at the same time. smh george. 
as the times came in, daniel found himself pushed to 16th. 
“daniel gets pushed down to 16th in what could be his last qualifying,” crofty said, ominously and addressing the rumors that this was in fact daniels last race. the camera crew then decided to rub it in by cutting to a shot of liam lawson in the garage. 
in his interview, daniel said that he had “not much to say” about his qualifying over all and about his mindset tomorrow: “well ill get community service if i swear” man was potentially going out at the end of the weekend and Still feared the FIA enough to not say fuck on camera. cheers mate.
in any case, the end of q1 saw us waving goodbye to daniel, lance (who has only managed to make it out of q1 one time at singapore before), pierre, bottas and zhou. better luck next time!
and the start of q2 saw someone taking george’s side in the Great Tire War. laurent mekies. the vcarb team principal. he said that the tires do feel different today compared to yesterday, but apparently this has been an ongoing problem all season.
unsurprisingly, alex albon was also joining the war on tires on the side of george russell. “what are we doing with the tires? nothing! absolutely nothing!”
also on the surprise list was nico hulkenberg briefly going p1. 
he was though replaced with lewis, who had somehow managed to make his mercedes work for him. 
i don't remember which announcer said this but, someone did say this about that: “mercedes is now the pace setter when before it looked like the steering wheels were screwed into the rear wheels.” 
though that might not have been entirely true because george was still complaining about grip.
max seemed to have made the tires work for him though because he managed to go fastest with a 1:29.680, a whole 3 tenths faster than lewis. it was starting to look like a classic Max Pole Lap, that was until oscar went faster than him
so there were four drivers in the 1:29 realm: oscar, max, charles and lewis. and there were five drivers out at the end of q2: alex, franco, checo, kevin and esteban
alex was not happy with this. he spluttered very incoherently over his radio as james vowels attempted to comfort him. 
all in all though it was setting up to be a very exciting q3
we had lando whos had 4 poles this yea, max who hasnt had pole since imola, lewis who hasnt had pole since hungary 2023 (potentially i might have heard that wrong) and ferando alonso who hasnt had pole in over 4000 days!
“i wouldnt want to bet my mortgage on whos winning pole,” said martin brundle.
but martin brundle also said during q3 that “we just saw kimi antonelli who will be out there next year getting hot and sweaty and a little bit scared.” 
everyone was kind of distracted by that. maybe it was why carlos sainz crashed.
(no it wasn't. but imagine….)
he also managed to crash in the same spot as lance did last year. but he didn't know why: “don't know if it was cold tires, dirty air, i don’t know. big snap.” 
this was absolutely not fine and dandy for max because he got his lap time deleted. and it was a provisional pole lap time. 
“why did my lap get deleted?” max still asked. “I crossed the line before it was red.” 
max did indeed cross the line before it was red, but there were double yellow flags, which mean that all lap times get deleted. so lando also lost his “stonking lap”
so we only had two times on the board. oscar with a 1:30.037 and nico with a 1:30.848.
everyone had one more shot to get out there.
which means its time to learn a weird fact about lando! did you know that his first job was making iphone stickers? 
i didn't but there was a graphic on the broadcast that said so.
in any case, max was told on the outlap to try and pass cars so he would make it to the line in time. 
george was told “don't let verstappen through”
max got through.
despite that, lando still went fastest. and he got pole. 
max continued his pole-less streak at singapore, but he did manage a p2
and charles leclerc, down at ferrari, managed to get his lap time deleted and ended up behind nico, fernano and yuki. somehow. 
lando was pleased with his pole, sort of. as much as lando can be pleased about anything. “it was tough,” he said. “good enough for pole.” 
max was also seemingly thrilled with second “im happy to be on the front row, I’ll take second, I’m happy with that.” insane words coming from max. if u had told us this last year we would have been shocked.
and in p3 we had…..sir lewis hamilton. but unfortunately nico rosberg was not interviewing :/ still, lewis said “qualifying has been a disaster for me all year long” which is true. he said that they changed pretty much everything on the car, but despite that didn't think that he could keep up with the mclarens. he also indirectly called them cheaters.
the most interesting part of qualifying though was after, in the press conference. 
as you might remember, the drivers in p1, p2 and p3 all have a little press conference on the big white couch with the reporters. its usually a little silly at least. 
and there was the usual. lewis told everyone “ive not been up here for awhile” cause he hadnt and im sure lando said things too but what was most interesting was max. 
now lets remember that max got a day of community service for cursing in the press conference the previous day. he also earlier said that he had “no words” about his penalty. 
so it was really no surprise that he spoke as little as humanly possible. as an act of protest to the fia and their penalty. 
now. this is quite possibly one of the best cases of malicious compliance that i have seen. because yeah, he is answering the questions, just with as few words as possible. technically the fia cant get him on this cause he is talking. and he took the time to tell the reporters that this was not aimed at them, but at the fia. 
and, if you will note, he said that he wanted to be asked questions outside of the press conference room. which he did in fact entertain. this was actually not allowed.
they started out in the hallway and then some official was like uhhh cant do that here! and max was like well! cmon everyone! we will do it on the go!!! 
and they did!!!!
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surely, you must be thinking, surely if the lead up was this insane then the race was off the walls right???
….
right!!!!!
yeah….
it was somehow boring????
im not sure how they managed to make singapore boring (especially after the lead up) but it was just like. there. it happened. 
ill still talk about it though because i am nothing if not thorough. 
the race. 
important to note that, heading into this race, there are still 8 contenders for the drivers championship . max, lando, charles, carlos, lewis, george, oscar and checo. none of them are officially Out of the running Yet because theoretically they could still score enough points to beat max. though, lando does have the best shot. he only needs to score 8.4 points per weekend more than max to come out ahead of max at the end. 
at the start max has 313 points, lando had 254 and charles had 235.
and. yuki has never finished a race here. lando has never been able to hold p1 from pole at the start. and the track was really, really freaking warm. as in it was 37C / 98.6F. and they were about to drive for two hours in a hot cockpit. 
also to note. lewis was starting on softs. which was weird. because they degrade really fast as we know in the heat and they definitely had plenty of heat. probably more than necessary actually.
in any case. lights out. away they went. 
and lando managed to hold onto the lead! max was right behind him in drs range, but he was ahead for the whole first lap. a first for him. and by lap 3 max was out of drs range. 
someone was unhappy about this and it was george russell. he was still in fourth stuck behind lewis on the softs. “he needs to increase the pace a bit, the guys at the font are getting away,” he said. lewis didn't really pick up the pace though. he really couldn't on the tires. and max and lando were already 3.7 seconds ahead of lewis. 
meanwhile franco had an absolutely insane start and managed to somehow divebomb alex albon and not only did he divebomb alex albon, he managed to gain three places. 
alex though was not pleased. “franco just dive bombed me!” he said over the radio. “what is he doing?” 
unsurprisingly, charles was back in ferrari hell. he was in 8th position and on lap 7 radioed in to say “i took a carbon part on my left side.” 
lando was still having a good time though, out in the front. he was told to increase the gap to max to 5 seconds. this was after other teams apparently complained that he wasn't managing the pace well. 
martin brundle was impressed by this. “just put 5 seconds on the red bull, will ya? it’s incredible!”
the tire drama of course continued, hards were apparently worse than mediums according to kevin. 
“i’m sliding around like hell,” he said on lap 11
and george was still stuck behind lewis who was over 6 seconds behind max and had not managed to make up any positions. 
also stuck behind someone was checo. he was stuck behind franco somewhere down around 10th? maybe? and he had been since pretty much the start. 
“hes very good, very difficult to pass colapinto” checo said on lap 16. lets remember that checo has 275 races under his belt. franco has like 3. so he was having a good day.
alex albon was not. he dnf’d on lap 18 because his car was overheating.
lewis finally got rid of his soft tires, so george could finally attempt to show some pace. by lap 23 he had managed to wrestle his car into 11th, but he bashed the strategy because they had stopped so early. “we will be in trouble later.” and by lap 28 he said “im already struggling with this tire.” 
and charles was still in ferrari hell. “good job on the brakes,” his engineer told him. “yeah but they feel completely different now,” charles said. he was stuck behind alonso and hulkenberg down in like 7th or 8th or something. exactly where he had been since the start. “ah this is so frustrating!” charles said. “how many laps are we going to do this?” 
lando was still enjoying himself though. he had gotten a 20 second lead on max.
lewis was really not enjoying himself. he continued to complain about stopping early and then almost bottled it passing and getting re passed by yuki. “something is definitely wrong with the car,” he said.
“this is working out horribly for charles leclerc,” martin said, as charles was still stuck behind a haas on lap28
thankfully for everyone, he managed to pass the haas on the next lap and took p4.
lando had front wing damage because he had locked up. he could have gotten a new front wing on his pit stop, but it takes 12 seconds to do that and despite their gap, mclaren didn't want to risk it.
george was really starting to feel the heat. “I need a bit of encouragement mate,” he said on lap 33. which is something that he really only says when hes a few minutes from actively passing out.
“usually by this time theres another 40 laps to go….but now we might get home in time for a cup of cocoa!” crofty said. because usually there is at least a safety car or a red flag or an accident. but there was nothing. and there continued to be nothing. meaning that the drivers were not getting a break. and it was hot as balls and or tits. 
down at vcarb, daniel was in 12th and yuki was in 13th. yuki was gaining on him and after some deliberation from the team, they had daniel let him past. 
“we’re expecting an announcement in the next few days” for liam to replace daniel, the announcers said. though there was still nothing confirmed. 
meanwhile charles was on fresh tires and he was storming up through the ranks. he went past carlos and waved at him and then he put in fastest lap after fastest lap, his eyes on the podium.
“it’s like a sauna in here,” george said, still struggling. 
lando was also struggling. he boinked the wall again. 
and checo was struggling with his tires “i don't have traction mate, its bouncing like a kangaroo.” he was in 10th. 
kevin got a puncture. he was brought in for softs to potentially set a fastest lap. 
“i have understeer and i have oversteer” george said on lap 52. on lap 53 he said “just kissed the wall. thinking all fine, rear right.” 
again i remind you this is a long and hard race. previously the longest singapore had gone without a safety car was lap 36. 
everyone was getting tired, even charles’s engineer who told him accidentally that george was in p1 instead of lando. charles said, very eloquently: “i don't care about norris”
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lando had though started to lap people, which was dangerous. he clipped a few more walls briefly. “hes having a few adventures in his most dominant play in f1 so far” martin said. 
meanwhile charles had finally closed the gap to george and was trying to pass. it was tire whisperer on tire whisperer violence. but george managed to stay in front.
k mags went into the pits on lap 60. he retired his car.
daniel also went into the pits on lap 60. on what might have been his last ever f1 race.
“don't go out like this danny rics, on a three stop,” crofty all but begged. 
but he didn't. they put softs on his car and said go forth and get the fastest lap. which was currently held by lando. 
and so daniel, in true daniel fashion, said (probably) “fuck em all” and stuck his pedal to the goddamn metal and went so fast that he not only got the fastest lap, but he also got the track record fastest lap. with a 1:34.486
and when the checkered flag came out lando won, and daniel got the fastest lap. 
max’s race engineer came on during the cool down lap to tell him the car modes and where he finished (second) but he also said “your old pal daniel picked up a fastest lap” 
and max said “thank you, daniel.” 
because you see. daniel took the fastest lap from lando. since he didn't finish in the points, he didn't get the extra point for fastest lap. but he did take the extra point away from lando. 
so this means. that given the number of races left. if lando finishes one place ahead of max in every single remaining race, he will still lose the championship by one point. the point that daniel took from him.
in 2018 daniel ricciardo left red bull because max started getting preferential treatment (among other things). it was a shock move, but he did it because he didn't want to be a number 2 driver, he wanted to win a world championship. so he went to renault. it was a disaster. he went to mclaren. it was a worse disaster. he lost his mclaren contract. he admitted that he got bad advice to leave red bull and that he should have never left. he came back to vcarb mid 2023 to try and get back into the red bull seat, back next to max. but he didn't. and in his potential, final act of his f1 career, he still managed to make a move that benefitted max. after all this time, he was still the second red bull driver after all. 
and he was voted driver of the day. 
lando won, followed by max, oscar, george, charles, lewis, carlos, fernando, nico, checo, franco, yuki, esteban, lance, guanyu, valtteri, pierre and daniel.
david coulthard did the post race interviews. 
oscar said it was “warm” and that they had a “great result…good strategy.”
max was not really bothered about lando closing the gap to him in the championship and was excited for some time off. 
lando said it was an “amazing race, a few too many close calls….similar to qatar last year….little dizzy at the moment.” to which david coulthard dumped water on him.
speaking of drivers being dizzy. george (and franco) took a while to get out of their cars. and george ended up leaning on the tires after too.
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george and lewis were actually withdrawn from media duties post race because of “borderline heatstroke” according to toto. some people thought that that might have been a pr move so that lewis did not have to talk about the awful strategy they put him on. in any case, they were given time to not be dying, which was good. 
this was not really surprising given that this was george's post race radio: "Yeah, good points, considering where we were on Friday. Damage limitation. I need a carry(?) into the bath, I am toasty. I can't describe how hot it is guys."
i was going to show you all the george russell pics of him after he got out of the car, where he looks like hes simultaneously going to fall over and also kill someone. but it crashed the post 3 times. so if you want to see it you need to google it yourself.
meanwhile. in the cool down room. lando max and oscar were watching the race highlights. max said that he thought lando was going to lap him. 
they replayed one of the scenes where lando was boinking walls. lando said, very eloquently and against the rules: “i thought i was going to shit myself” 
and oscar, ever the jokester, turned to him and said “so now without using swear words how did you feel in that moment?” and made a little microphone out of his hand. 
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oscar continued to make fun of the swear ban later on with this caption on instagram: “Without swearing, that was blinking warm. Good race, nice podium”
and later on charles said that he was not going to swear because he didn't want to join max in community service: "Yes! Then i have to work with Max and I don't want it!"
and max said relatively nothing in the press conference again, but he held his own mini one in a room afterwards. 
and franco responded to checo complimenting his driving during the race, saying that "Checo's great, I love him so much. I used to watch him when I was a kid back in Argentina. I woke up very early to watch his races and now fighting and racing against him is very nice."
nico rosberg said this a few days later about lando's race:
“There’s three moments here. And that’s so strange. I can’t remember myself, or Max Verstappen, or Lewis, when leading so comfortably with thirty seconds making three major mistakes like that. That was a bit strange. I know Singapore is so hard concentration [wise]. Physically it’s so, so tough. But it was… I don’t know what it’s down to that there’s so many little… But we know that from Lando that he tends to make those little errors all the time everywhere. We’ve seen that from him.”
so does he have what it takes to be a WDC? idk...
meanwhile. daniel. 
he took a long time getting out of his car, clearly savoring the moment.
when asked about the fastest lap he said that if the point proved useful maybe max would get him a good christmas gift (max later said that he could ask for anything he wanted). but he was generally quite emotional as he was speaking about the whole thing in his interview.
and he did say “maybe the fairytale ending didn't happen. if this is it…im at peace with it.”
and he got an honor walk from the vcarb garage 
max spoke highly of him in his interview
"Daniel and I go a long time way back. We have always had a great relationship, great friendship. We've always had a lot of respect for each other as well. He's just a great guy, you know? I get on well, it just clicks, there is no fake person, we just get along and easy going. He will for sure be remembered as a very fast driver, I think everyone knows that, but also as a great guy in the paddock."
i think every reporter tried to give him a send off
they showed him a highlight reel of his career. and nico rosberg asked him if he regretted "leaving max in red bull."
daniel also spoke highly of max, saying that "He's always been very appreciative of our friendship and supportive. Even after Japan this year I was getting quite a lot of stick, and he [Max] was one of the only guys who sent me a text and said 'mate keep your head up. We know what you're capable of, don't listen to the noise.' So I respect and appreciate him a lot."
and he was the last to leave the paddock, after 1am, still smiling and waving at everyone.
so with that roller coaster. lets buckle up and head to texas. yee fucking haw.
the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)
Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2
hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 
what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.
the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)
and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024
and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!
anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.
but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 
first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 
what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 
george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt
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fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.
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we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 
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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though
and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.
also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.
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he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting
charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.
oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc
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max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.
we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 
heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:
lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 
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lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around
george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged
george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something
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max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 
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and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)
and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip
then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama
haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”
in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.
adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 
ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 
mercedes? nah
williams? no too much of a shit show
aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 
that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 
apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 
he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 
fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.
by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).
lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:
"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."
mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:
mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 
lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….
and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."
max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."
and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 
a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 
but! there is more! 
daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.
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which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.
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which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 
and with that. the baku lore. 
theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 
such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:
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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that
the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully
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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.
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speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 
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then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 
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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.
some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 
franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 
also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 
but alas. qualifying. 
i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 
so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 
max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 
slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 
charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 
and franco has never been to baku before. 
i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 
q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 
the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 
the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 
lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 
now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 
if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 
in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.
and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 
q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 
in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 
and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 
max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 
and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 
steaming on forward to q3. 
we had, for review, in q3 the following: 
both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 
right out the gate it was wild. 
“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 
everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 
here were the standings: 
charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando
and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-
wait a second what is that
could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!
oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk
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meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.
and what do you know i have time
so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say
"the williams still has the air box fan in"
"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.
and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:
"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"
alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 
franco did tho!
and here were out qualifying results: 
p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 
oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 
everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second
onto the race. 
notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.
and so, we head into lap 1.
charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 
someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 
by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 
also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.
and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 
yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 
franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 
lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 
george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 
on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 
and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 
several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 
“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 
mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 
and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 
they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 
remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.
lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 
thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 
mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!
meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 
several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 
ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 
charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 
carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th
this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.
also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 
max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 
but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”
this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 
meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 
lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 
“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 
10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:
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+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 
lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max
at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”
“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 
we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.
definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 
oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 
and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 
“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)
meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 
but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 
what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 
the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.
and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:
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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 
which meant 
OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP
and george inherited p3! 
and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 
“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 
he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 
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he also got driver of the day! 
(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)
gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 
george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 
charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 
oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.
and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!
the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 
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and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them
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(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)
george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium
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the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:
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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 
-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management
-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 
-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season
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-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)
-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red
-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 
-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)
-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 
-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 
-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 
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-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.
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-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 
-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 
-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 
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-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast
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and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 
see you all soon!!!
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the-firebird69 · 10 months ago
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Portugal. The Man - Feel It Still (Official Music Video)
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What time it really is is the another month to feed on the dinosaurs okay they're leaving New Zealand escaping The empire I don't let the hell it is that doing they don't want to stay there either
Bja
Look we do the job very well and stuff there's something these Max do that really pushes people out there and trying for Oregon and Washington State too and people just don't want to be around for some reason we don't know what it is no we do but really cicada bugs and common oxide constant homicides and now dinosaurs and I guess they're pouring it on but for real I mean you know why did you move and you look at these areas where they're going and people just abandon the place like they're haunting you and we're the ones who do that not them I mean you see slimer and you start going over and being friends it's kind of weird cuz we know what we like and so do you so we don't know what they're doing to you yeah we get it you're on New Zealand and you hear noises you figure they're around but really these giant dinosaurs are trying to get out of there and it is the max imum
Thor Freya
They're frequently annoying and up people here are like a medium they go through you and the dinosaurs are annoyed that's what they're doing it's like Churchland Bank said they're just doing that and he started laughing yesterday and has not stopped you pussies he said it to the T-Rex and the T-Rex like we can't find it and we can't stop it you find it stop it and it's going into Daniel he's actually saying it and they're on TV kind of and her son says we're going to go back and take care of this and he says who's that and he goes he's the lizard King. Now this guy is very mean and he says I don't want to go on doing this and he gets it there's a place to put him and it's the dinosaur saying and our son is extremely pushy and they just keep pushing him but you guys the ones who thinks that the Mac thinks and the max is actually not back and thinks that he's pushing back on and they're stupid and we're going to prove it and they won't shut up and they blew their whole plan and they had everything just like sitting this always do Satan is always do is suspicious and he thinks it's his brother and we do too
Thor Freya
Olympus
Oh no it is these two fighting and we have to go down there see if these footprints match someone
Mac Daddy
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watching-pictures-move · 1 year ago
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Movie Review | Opera (Argento, 1987)
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Got to see this one the big screen with a Q&A with Karim Hussain (DP on Brandon Cronenberg’s movies), who cites this as one of his favourites and worked on the colour grading on the new Severin restoration. He went a lot into technical details around the restoration process, a lot of which went over my head, but I do recommend seeing this restoration in a theatre if it’s playing near you as this is one where Argento’s technical virtuosity seems especially aggressive (Hussain brought up the Raven POV shot a lot during the Q&A). Some thoughts that passed through my head during this latest viewing:
Compared to the other films in Argento’s prime period, I always found this one relatively episodic, working more as a string of elaborate set pieces than a cohesive whole with a clear sense of forward momentum. I still think that’s the case, but I appreciated the extent to which this furthers the streak of self reflection that defined Tenebre. There is an obvious stand-in for Argento in the character played by Ian Charleson, who in one of the movie’s many funny moments (some of which are intentional, some of which are not, but really, who cares) admits to jerking off before each shoot, and uses his directing skills to identify the villain. (Apparently Charleson admitted in an interview that he based his mannerisms on Argento, who was not pleased to learn this.) I did find it funny that Charleson’s VHS collection is shown to include such titles as Goin’ South and Silkwood. I would have expected some Hitchcock.
But the villain is arguably a stand-in for the director as well, as he “directs” the murders that he forces the heroine to watch (which apparently came from Argento learning people would their eyes during the movies). And on that note, I think this has the gnarliest gore out of any of Argento’s movies, and the meanness with which Argento executes them definitely got a few cringes out of my audience, especially with the foley effects blaring through the sound system.
In this vein, I’m tempted to read the last scene in the alps as a tongue-in-cheek reference to Phenomena, with its relatively gentler tone compared to the angrier and meaner Tenebre. The bit with the lizard its share of laughs.
The non-goofy bit that got the most laughs was “Daniele Soavi”, although I was mostly enraptured by the Suspiria-esque colours in that sequence.
And I must say they did a great job with the sound, because I’ve watched different copies of this before and don’t remember the metal songs popping the same way in the sound mix, and definitely don’t remember Rick Astley on the soundtrack.
Yeah, this rules. Check it out folks, if possible in a theatre near you.
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