#and by embarrassing number i mean all of 7 books

[queer-reader-07]

self control is knowing i want to reread good omens because i want to annotate the fuck out of my physical copy but deciding against it because i have an embarrassing number of unread books on my shelf that need my love too

[samuelsdean]

You Think I'm Delicious?

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: all your dreams and hopes of getting cuddly with spencer were shattered when he uttered those six words.

“i don’t like your new perfume.”

genre: fluff & crack

word count: 1.9k

author's notes: here's a spencer reid fluff without plot, just crack (i tried so i hope you'll laugh while reading this). anyway, enjoy reading this one!

THE THING ABOUT DR. SPENCER REID IS THAT HE’S A VERY SENSITIVE PERSON. He's very particular about stuff like his dislikes for certain textures and not knowing about something—making him a good researcher by the way, because if he doesn't know something, you'll find him poring through books—and even certain smells aren't an exception. One might think that this is normal with his job because, of course, he does. He has probably smelled dead bodies more than he has smelled fresh flowers. Of course, he hates smells like rotten flesh. Disgusting, honestly. But, what can he do? That is part of his job.

So, when he suddenly tugged you to his side one day to hug you, you were excited for him to take note of your new perfume and love it. No, you were certain he’d love it just as much as you did when you first took a whiff at the store. You just had to buy it because you were sure he’d go crazy over your smell. He’d tuck his face into your neck and shower you with pecks. Because despite what everyone else thinks they know about Spencer having an aversion to touch, he was quite the cuddler when he was in love. And yes, you were the lucky recipient of his comforting hugs 24/7. 

However, all your dreams and hopes of getting cuddly with Spencer were shattered when he uttered those six words.

“I don’t like your new perfume.”

Your jaw dropped as soon as he said that distressing sentence. Meanwhile, Spencer was quick to move away from you and continue what he was doing previously—playing chess by himself. Sometimes, if only you didn’t love your boyfriend and didn’t have to face charges, you would strangle him for a lot of things. One of which was being nonchalant after just dropping a bomb like that. What does he mean by you smell bad? You bought a citrus-scented perfume that hurt your pockets; you’ll have to give up your afternoon snacks at the cafe near the FBI headquarters. So, like any good partner out there, you just had to instigate a little argument over your new perfume.

“Excuse me?”

Your boyfriend looked up at your incredulous tone, merely raising a brow at you as if to ask, “What’s up?” This almost got your eye twitching, but you refrained. Taking a breath, you plastered a sickly sweet smile on your face and clarified your previous question.

“What do you mean you don’t like my new perfume?”

Spencer started reddening at your accusatory tone and shrugged halfheartedly, which made you raise one perfectly formed brow at your boyfriend. Now, you’re curious why your boyfriend blushed at your question.

He may be quite shy, but Spencer wasn’t the best when it came to social cues. He rarely gets embarrassed about something unless you blatantly point it out. You could probably count on one hand the number of times he flushed pink. A funny memory you have of him reddening like a tomato was when the BAU were out interviewing streetwalkers. Despite his social awkwardness, Spencer was propositioned by all the women he talked to. You could still remember the exact look he had on his face when he had to pull his tie away from the woman, who was busy rolling it on her fingers.

God, he’s so precious, you’d keep him in your pocket if you could. But right now, he isn’t your favorite person, and you’d love nothing more than to figure out why he was blushing. You were sure there was something behind all those burning cheeks.

“Spencer,” you slowly enunciated the syllables of his name, making him look at you once again. He tilted his head in question as you sighed dramatically, “Out with it.”

“What?”

“You’re flushed pink. You’re picking at your nails, and your right knee just started bouncing.” You pointed it out, and Spencer tried to remedy every single thing you mentioned. “Baby, for a profiler, you’re not doing great at hiding stuff. Tell me what’s going on.”

He scowled and crossed his arms like a petulant child, definitely wishing you weren’t a profiler, and a damn good one at that, like him. You merely chuckled at his antics and crossed your arms in retaliation. No, you weren’t backing away from this one. You spent money on perfume, hoping your boyfriend would love it. But no, he hated it, and now, you have to know why.

You could hear the ticking of the wall clock—if you focused hard enough—with the way not a single sound could be heard from the both of you waiting for the other to cave—not even a phone call from Garcia telling you that you have a case and, you have to be in the office in fifteen minutes could disrupt your focus right now. You could say the same about your boyfriend right now, who is intently staring at your phones on the table. He was probably hoping a work call would come through to save his ass from getting interrogated by you. It’s kind of sick that one would want to hear a new body was found, but at least you’d be out there catching another bad guy and locking them up, never to see the light of day until their last breath. He would rather have a face-off with a murderer than his girlfriend, whom he’s pretty sure is close to resorting to violence for borderline calling her stinky—not really, you’re just dramatic like that.

“Well, for starters, I think it’s strong like I’m drowning in it,” Spencer emphasized the word strong, making your brows furrow. He didn’t have that problem with your previous perfume, and it was stronger—he’s hiding something. You stared pointedly at your boyfriend now, who was fidgeting like crazy under your scrutiny.

“Are you sure that’s it? You didn’t have that problem with my previous perfume, which I’m pretty sure is much stronger than this one.” You clarified, tilting your head to the side as you explained further. “Garcia loved the smell of flowers, but she told me she sneezed every time I passed by. She had to ask me to change the scents immediately. And despite the complaints, you loved it so much that you would tuck your face into my neck.”

At this point, Spencer looked like he was about to burst from an aneurysm with how red he had gotten. You couldn’t help but feel a little bit sorry, but you also had to make him suffer. 

“Tell me, Spencer. Or else, I might just have to resort to other tactics.” You almost cackled at the way your boyfriend looked like he’d rather start digging a hole for him to bury himself in. “And you know, I’m a great profiler. I always get what I want.”

However, as soon as you said those words, you noticed Spencer’s eyes drifting towards a half-full bottle sitting on his little desk filled with heaps of paperwork.

Oh. That’s the problem.

“Baby, I think I know what the problem is here.”

Spencer quickly leaped off your couch to avoid getting teased by you—which wasn’t your plan at all, by the way—and was about to run into your bedroom, but you were quick on your feet and were able to catch his arm and pull him towards you. Yep, unfortunately for your boyfriend, you were better when it came to physical activities.

Although you were better at that angle, you still weren’t able to properly estimate the way you pulled him into you because both of you ended up toppling over on your couch. Luckily, it was the couch, because you’re sure Hotch would have your heads served on a platter if both of his agents were injured and there was a sudden case.

You both landed unceremoniously, with Spencer squeaking as he ended up face-first into your chest, and you groaned as you cushioned his fall. Choosing to pause for a moment, you ran your hands through his brown curls as you both tried to catch your breath. Spencer seemed to agree with that idea as he started inhaling your scent, which made you smile a bit.

“You know, it’s not that I hate your perfume because it smells bad.” Spencer started explaining in a hushed tone, “I just liked it better when you smelled like me.”

Your eyes widened at his confession. This was the first time Spencer had ever said something possessive. Despite not being the usual alpha male girls go for, Spencer had enough confidence in himself that you chose him out of all the guys out there you could’ve gone for. At the start of your relationship, you made it clear to him that he was the one you wanted to be with. Not someone as domineering as Hotch or someone as bold as Morgan.

No, you wanted Spencer. 

You wanted to be with Spencer.

So, you were shocked at your boyfriend’s display of possessiveness, but at the same time, you found it cute that he wanted you to smell like him. It wasn’t every day that he wanted to engage in a public display of affection. And just like any other girlfriend out there who enjoyed the attention you got from your boyfriend, you laughed as you tried to pull Spencer’s face towards yours.

“God, you’re so adorable, Dr. Reid,” you exclaimed as you peppered his face with pecks and pinched his cheeks as he tried to dodge, embarrassed after saying he wanted you to use his perfume, “I could eat your face!”

“We don’t want that." Spencer said, "The BAU would lose two of their best agents with me inside your gastrointestinal tract and you in jail for cannibalism.”

You rolled your eyes at him as he blinked at you innocently. Sometimes, you hate his brain. 

“Stop taking things literally!" You exclaimed to your boyfriend, "You know what I’m talking about!”

“I don’t.” Spencer frowned. You could hear the cogs in his brain start working, meaning he was about to spew out some facts. “Actually, our senses of smell and taste are directly related. They both use the same types of receptors, so if you smell something that you think is delicious, this triggers the same area of the brain that activates our salivary glands. Wait, you think I’m delicious?”

You facepalmed yourself. For a guy with an IQ of 187, your boyfriend could be an idiot.

“You’re an idiot.”

“No, I’m not!” Spencer protested and explained some more, “Seeing an object, food, or even a person that is pleasing to the eye can cause people to salivate. Pleasant smells such as your favorite food, your partner’s natural scent, or smelling perfume on your partner can stimulate the production of saliva more than looking at that person. This process can initiate feelings of wanting to eat or bite.”

Despite his protests, you simply clucked and pinched his nose. Wanting to retaliate, Spencer continued spilling his tangents.

“Aha! You like me so much, my smell makes you want to bite me!”

“You know what, Spence?” You asked sweetly at your boyfriend, who was now listening intently to you. He’ll never know what hit him. “I love you so much, but I preferred it when you got embarrassed about wanting me to smell like you.”

By your admission, Spencer started blushing profusely again as he tried to bury his face in your neck.

“Shut up!”

“I love you too, Spence.”

[facioleeknow]

The art of pleasure ch.3

Mars ° Seo Changbin

When one girl in your class makes fun of you for being a virgin at a party, you are left distraught. It’s only natural that you decide to whine about it to your best friend, Bang Chan; but he does more than lending a shoulder to cry on, he comes up with a solution. He and his 7 friends will help you and teach you all about the pleasure of the flesh. What could go wrong?

Genre: College AU, SMUT 18+ ONLY wc: 1.4k+

Warnings: fraternity skz, inexperienced reader, experienced changbin, oral m receiving, fancy dinner, alcohol mention, rich changbin, car sex in a way, coke can cock changbin

Chris-py boy <3:

How was it? Did he treat you well?

Damn he got you good mh

Are you alive?

Y/N????

I’m coming over

The activities with Minho had left you exhausted, both physically and mentally. Trying new things had always been tiring for you and paired with the physical tiredness, it wasn’t a surprise that you passed out as soon as you came home from the little date you two had. Minho had been kind and gentle through the whole date, his behavior perfectly gentlemanly. The words and touches and words you shared had left a warm feeling inside your belly that expanded and cradled you to sleep quickly. So you weren’t even a tad bit surprised when you woke up still with your clothes on, on top of your bed, what did surprise you was the arm that was around your shoulders and the warm chest your head laid on. An inhuman scream ripped from your throat.

“Why are you screaming?” a familiar voice.

“Why am I screaming? Why the hell are you here Chris??” you tried to pull yourself together, he was your best friend but he was still a hot guy in your bed.

“I texted you but you didn’t answer, I got worried.” You laid your head on him once again, your cheek squished against his hard body.

“Everything went well. Minho was very nice and kind,” you paused, thinking how to phrase your next thought, “he seems pretty skilled, if you know what I mean.” Thankfully he wasn’t looking at you, because he would’ve seen a look of pure embarrassment.

“He is, once we shared and the girl couldn’t stop talking about what he could do with his mouth,” Chan said nonchalantly, that man really had no shame.

“You have shared girls before me? And here I was thinking I was special,” you half joked.

“You are, we usually don’t invite the girls for ice cream after we fuck,” he giggled.

“Yeah alright mister playboy, get out of my room, I need sleep.”

The start of the week was always chaotic, but after your little weekend treat it seemed even worse than usual. Lessons had been so hard and draining that the only thing you could do once you got back to your room was study and sleep. When you woke up to start another day the cycle continued. Lessons, study, sleep. By the time Thursday rolled around you needed a long awaited break.

Unknown number:

Hey, this is Changbin 

I was wondering if I could take you out tonight and then have our lesson 

The repeated pings from your phone broke the atmosphere of focus and desperation that filled the room. 

‘Shit the lessons, I forgot,’ you thought.

You:

Hey Changbin

Yes, tonight works for me, do you have a place in mind??

Changbin:

It's a surprise eheh, wear something fancy

See you tonight

The secrecy was killing you. The books were quickly pushed aside to make space for new more pressing matters. Suddenly your wardrobe felt empty and nothing looked good on you. You hated fashion emergencies.

By the time you had pulled yourself together, it was time to leave. Changbin was already waiting for you in front of your dorm, in a black expensive looking car.

“Hey, thank you for picking me up,” you greeted as soon as you got inside. He looked absolutely breathtaking. Black slacks and a white button up hugged his muscles in all the right places, his sleeves were rolled over your forearms so deliciously that you almost asked him to skip the dinner. Almost.

“I couldn't let a lady walk alone in the dark,” Changing offered you a smile before driving away. Seeing the world from inside a stupidly expensive car was a whole new experience, so good that you spent the whole journey gawking out of the window. You felt almost sad  when the car stopped in front of a restaurant that looked too expensive to exist. 

In a matter of seconds Changbin was at your door opening it for you. 

“Thank you.”

After helping you out, Changbin gently placed his warm hand on the small of your back, giving you enough time to push him away. You didn't, it was comforting, you liked the feeling of his hands on your body.

The inside of the restaurant was even more dashing, everything tied together beautifully. You felt out of place but at home at the same time thanks to the man at your side. Your thoughts swirled and filled your head so much that you only realized that you had arrived at your table when Changbin gently pushed a glass of champagne against your hand.

“To you and how beautiful you look tonight,” he raised his glass.

“Thank you for all of this Changbin.” Your glasses clinked together.

Changbin was funny and respectful on top of being stupid hot. He made you laugh and the dinner passed in a blur of exquisite food and teary laughs.

“I had a good time tonight.” Unlike the last time you were in the car you were looking straight into his eyes..

“I'm glad, I didn't know if it was too much, I didn't want to overwhelm you,” he chuckled, that small and cute chuckle that only Changing could make.

“Every girl wants to be pampered like that, I assure you. You didn't have to pay tho, I feel bad.”

“Don't worry, money is not a problem for me.” He laid his hand on your thigh. During the dinner the volume of your laughs wasn't the only thing growing, your pussy was absolutely drenched and you couldn't help but rub your legs together every once in a while.

“Changbin, I want to touch you.” You didn't care if you sounded desperate, you didn't care if you sounded petulant. You need him, you were going to die if you didn't have his dick in your mouth in the next five minutes.

“Are you sure? Is that what you want to do today?” he tucked a small strand of hair behind your ear.

“Yes, please can I touch you?” he didn't answer but pressed your hand directly on his bulge. He felt hard and warm. You wasted no time in opening up his pants and tugging them down with his underwear, you don't know what over you but all shyness was thrown out the window replaced by intense burning desire. 

His cock was exactly like him, not the longest but deliciously thick, so much that you knew your jaw would ache the next day.

“Don't worry baby, I'll guide you through it. Do what feels comfortable,” his words spurred you on and you reached down to wrap your hand around him. His skin felt hot and soft, it turned you on. In a second your mouth was on him. Small kitten licks were placed all around his girth. 

“Just like that baby, enjoy yourself,” Changbin assured you with a breathy voice.

You liked the taste of him, it was intoxicating, you wanted more. The sides of your mouth stretched and burned when you took him into your mouth. The weight of his cock on your tongue felt welcome and you moaned at the sensation which sent Changbin into his own series of whimpers.

“Touch my balls pretty.” You complied without having to be told twice. 

His balls were big and round, perfect to feel in your hands and to play with. Your head bobbed mercilessly up and down while you felt around his sack.

“God baby, I'm so wound up, I think I'm gonna cum.” You moaned again, trying to tell him that you needed it, you needed his release down your throat like you needed air. But taking your mouth off his dick was not an option, so you just sped up your ministrations. Wet sound from your throat and hand filled the car and pushed Changbin over the edge.

“Pretty, you sound so-” a long, breathy moan cut his sentence in the middle and his warm release shot down your throat. 

His muscles finally relaxed and he fully laid against the car seat, he was beautiful and the fact that you had the power to make him a breathy mess was even more beautiful.

“Come here,” he grabbed the back of your neck and placed a gentle, affectionate kiss on your lips.

“Remember, real men kiss women after they cum in their mouths.”

“I will,” you giggled. Silence fell on you two. Changbin’s chest rose and fell slowly, he was happy and so were you. His hand lightly caressed your face.

“How about a second date?”

[paladinbaby]

a patch of white anemones

the iliad, tr. emily wilson / electra: a tragedy, tr. anne carson / the lathe of heaven, ursula k. le guin / @insomniac-arrest / the first bad man, miranda july / what resembles the grave but isn’t, anne boyer / rabbit heart (raise it up), florence + the machine / burrows end, @dimension20official / the burglar of babylon, elizabeth bishop

[Image Description: Ten images of text. The first image is a photograph of a book page but the rest are black text on a pure white background.

1: “You already know this story. You will die. Everyone you love will also die. You will lose them forever. You will be sad and angry. You will weep. You will bargain. You will make demands. You will beg. You will pray. It will make no difference. Nothing you can do will bring them back. You know this. Your knowing changes nothing. This poem will make you understand the unfathomable truth again and again, as if for the very first time.”

2: “Electra / And I know there is something all wrong about me - believe me. Sometimes I shock myself”

3: “The end justifies the means. But what if there never is an end? All we have is means.”

4: “The first rule of tragedy is to be yourself. The second rule of tragedy is to be literally anyone else. The third rule is that however much you try there is no escaping being yourself forever.”

5: “Then I realised that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.”

6: “Always falling into a hole, then saying “okay, this is not your grave, get out of this hole,””

7: “I must become a lion hearted girl / Ready for a fight / Before I make the final sacrifice / We raise it up, this offering”

8: “i think for myself, when I go back to that time, the number one emotion associated with it is tremendous shame and embarrassment which is the emotion it would take to never mention that to anybody”

9: “You were good to me, and I love you, / But I’m doomed” End ID.]

[therandomfando4]

Hey, so I think I might have figured this code out in the newest Smg4 video, maybe?

Okay, so, this is the original code.

11-12-1-19 2-1-11: 2

First, I changed the numbers into letters by using the alphabet. 1 being A, 2 being B, 3 being C, and so on. Which gave me this:

K L A S B A K B

Which confused me until I changed two letters around. Making this.

K L B S B A K A

Swapped 2 & 1

11-12-2-19 2-1-11: 1

I immediately tied this to Smg3 as he says "Baka," a fair bit in Smg4. But I wasn't convinced it meant anything until I figured out that almost all of the numbers were doubled except for 12 & 19.

I figured 12 out pretty fast. But 19 took me a while to figure out. With 12, I remembered something about the number being in the 3 timetables, and that it was the 4th number.

3 × 4 = 12

34..

When I figured this out, I was still doubtful. Since I knew the creatives on the show sometimes fuel the ship, why is it being hidden like as though it's important? On a classified document, and with Mr. Puzzles?

So I just thought it was some kind of coincidence and that it was something deeper or that the code ultimately meant nothing and that I was just wasting my time on it. Besides, 19 didn't mean anything, right?

Yes and no.

I was right about the number itself, not meaning anything until I used additions.

What two numbers made up 19?

9 + 10..

After seeing those two numbers, I instantly thought of a certain meme.

Now it was 21.. I searched up what time tables could go into 21, the two numbers being 3 and 7.

3 × 7 = 21

I first thought about the number 3, which I realised was kinda stupid of me once I remembered the numbers that made up 7 were 3 and 4.

3 + 4 = 7

Either these somehow are 3 coincidences, or really is about Smg34.

Now, unless there is more that I'm missing in this code. I have a few guesses. (If anyone can think of anything else, I'd love to know.)

The classified document is most likely an image or YouTube thumbnail.

If it's a thumbnail, I believe it could be either:

A. Wotfi 2023

This one is because Mr. Puzzles had a YouTube thumbnail of the Puzzlevision movie, and I was thinking about how wotfi 2023 was the last big event before Puzzlevision. As well as Smg3 and Smg4 being the highlighted characters in it.

B. Snowtrapped..

Okay.. I know it has been milked to death by people submitting it for the Wotfi 2024 challenges. But, I feel like it could explain why it's in the document and considered classified. I'm not a fan of this one.

C. A thumbnail for a future episode.

Idk if it would make sense, but eh.. it could be cool.

Now, just some or one of the images that could be in the document.

A. Smg3's notebook.

An image of it or the physical book itself.

B. The drawing at the end of Smg3's notebook

Because it's still a secret to everyone that Smg3 drew a picture of him and Smg4 hanging out together.

C. An image of Smg3 and 4 hanging out or doing something that would be considered gay. Something that would embarrass Smg3 and/ or 4 probably.

Either way, if none of these options are right, I'm hoping we actually get to see what's in the document or that the code is foreshadowing something.

I also used pager codes mixed with the baka I found before. I found these sentences, but I don't know if the creatives behind Smg4 meant for someone to use pager codes.

Swapped 2 & 1

(11)-(12-2)-(21) 2-1-11:1

K L B U B A K A

You. I want you. Home. Baka.

Swapped 2 & 1

(11)-(12-2)-(19) 2-1-11:1

K L B U  B A K A

You. I want you. Yes. Baka.

Or

You. I want you. Hug. Baka.

As I said, I have no idea if the pager codes were planned or coincidental.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, I'd like to hear what other people think about my findings. And if others have found anything of their own.

This took me a while. If I find out this was a waste of time, I'm going to be so upset. /hj

Have a good one, guys.

[redroseinsanity]

Daisuga Week 2024 Day 7

Suga's birthday!

Daichi was hiding something. 

Koushi had known for a few days now.

Of course, he had enough faith in Daichi to know that whatever it was could not be ill in nature. 

But part of him whispered, 'He hates this new life you have imprisoned him in.'

Daichi had agreed readily enough to returning to their kingdom, standing by Koushi when he had been reinstated as a prince and busying himself as Koushi was quickly swallowed up by matters of the court. 

Koushi knew that Daichi would follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked. 

What Koushi didn't know was whether Daichi was happy with him. 

He was no longer Koushi's bodyguard, although nothing would ever get rid of Daichi's protective tendencies. 

It was difficult to find a place for himself here, three years after leaving this kingdom. Koushi had not wanted to pressure him and so, he had told Daichi that a break would do him some good. 

Clearly, that had not meant anything to the former bodyguard. 

Daichi was everywhere all the time. 

If he wasn't being roped into helping the instructors with training the next crop of warriors, he was strategizing with the Sugawaras' advisors. 

When he wasn't working with the protection unit, he was talking out policies with Koushi. 

Was he restless? Did he feel like he did not belong? 

He had been avoiding Koushi. 

At first, Koushi had thought that Daichi had been busy or tired. 

But it had become unmistakable after the first couple of days. 

Beyond feeling hurt, Koushi was afraid. 

The last thing he wanted was to lose Daichi again. 

So he followed his lover. 

Early that morning, before dawn's light had even touched their chamber, Daichi was out of bed. 

Koushi waited for a moment and then followed, keeping his footsteps light and plastering himself to the walls. 

The last time he had woken without Daichi, all he had was a yellow blossom tucked into the pages of his favourite book as a clue that Daichi had not left him completely. 

That Daichi still cared for him. 

Koushi was not waiting to stumble upon any flowers in books by accident. 

So he tracked his lover all the way down until Daichi disappeared into another corridor. 

Heart beating wildly, nerves dancing and alight, Koushi tried to tell himself he was being silly. 

Paranoid. 

Royalty tended to be. 

Koushi had never been but three years without Daichi had done some things to him. 

He knew that it had done a number on Daichi as well. He could see it in Daichi's eyes sometimes. 

Taking a deep, steadying breath, he sprang round the corner and hoped it would be enough to catch Daichi in the act of whatever it was. 

Daichi looked up, startled and with cream on his nose. 

"Koushi!"

"Daichi?"

Koushi stared. 

Daichi was wearing an apron, likely borrowed based on how ill-fitting it was. And he was bent over a cake. 

"I thought-" Koushi was so embarrassed he had no other recourse than to be honest, "I knew you were hiding something from me and I got worried so I-"

Daichi's brown eyes were soft as he put down the bag of cream and approached Koushi. 

Pulling him into a gentle hug that immediately dispelled all the anxiety, Daichi murmured, "Of course, I apologise, I did not mean to worry you. I should have considered that."

"No," Koushi shook his head, "I should not have jumped to conclusions, I just... Wanted to know if you were happy."

Daichi leaned back to give him a puzzled look, "I get to spend my days with you. How could I not be happy?"

Koushi shrugged, a habit his sister, the queen, had long tried to break. 

"I want you to feel like you belong here."

Daichi smiled, "I belong with you. Anywhere you are, I belong too. Besides, I have multiple job offers and I intend to select one."

Koushi felt a weight lift off from his chest as he gripped Daichi's hand, "Wonderful, that's wonderful. But if there is ever anything you lack, you must speak to me, please."

Daichi pressed a gentle kiss to Koushi's brow, "Always. Now let me gift this to you since you are here."

He swiftly finished whatever he had been doing before Koushi interrupted him and proudly presented it to Koushi. 

It was a cake. 

Decorated with yellow blossoms. 

"Happy birthday, Koushi," Daichi said softly, "I am not much of a baker so I needed help, but I wanted to do something special since I have missed so many birthdays with you already."

Koushi launched himself into Daichi's arms, narrowly missing the cake. 

"The best gift," he laughed, "Is you."

Interconnected snippets for @daisugaweek2024 !

Find Day 6 here

[vanessaroades-author]

Let’s look at what happened from June 13th to July 13th. (ARCs, Preorders, Sales, Marketing!)

Note: I’m not talking about costs here and likely won’t ever. However, my author buddy JAL Solski has an awesome write-up on the costs, tax considerations, all sorts of numbers, of publishing their sapphic fantasy duology! I’m also very fond of Ros’s write-up on expectations and goals related to post-publication.

Before you start–some disclaimers on my experience

First, expect very little! These numbers will not impress you and honestly there’s a part of me that’s pretty embarrassed, like I'm advertising that I'm a big dummy who can't write. But all in the name of honesty & transparency!

Something I hear a lot from other new authors is, “Am I doing pretty good? Am I doing really badly? I don’t know.” Well, here’s another batch of numbers to consider!

Deep Roots is currently only available as an eBook & through Kindle Unlimited.

I’m not writing anything trendy. By a long shot. I can throw “queer fantasy” on it but that’s kinda the most I got. (When’s the last time you saw a runaway indie hit that didn’t have a ton of romance?)

I’m not popular on social media (260 IG followers with on average <10% engagement and <200 TikTok followers).

I have so many friends in my corner. Someone should stop you at the gate to the Indie Publishing Amusement Park of Hell and tell you, “Listen, if you want any hope of staying sane, make author friends.” Besides helping you navigate tech questions or giving second opinions on your cover, and, you know, understanding and empathizing with you, your friends will be the ones who comment on your posts, repost them, tell their friends, add you in their newsletter, read, and review. That can mean sales…but that also means having people lift you up and celebrate with you.

Advance Reader Copies

I began posting about ARC sign-ups April 4th, sent the first round of eBooks ~May 5th, and closed applications on June 2nd.

I didn’t use a service like Booksprout or Booksirens, just plain old BookFunnel and email (therefore my reach was entirely reliant on my social media efforts). I was most talkative about it on Instagram. I only posted like once or twice on Tumblr and TikTok, but they went really well for my standards.

Sign-Ups: 51

Reviews/Ratings:

By publication day I had 4 ratings/reviews on Goodreads, 1 on Amazon, and 1 on StoryGraph.

After 31 days I had 6 reviews and 10 ratings on Goodreads. 1 extra rating on StoryGraph; Amazon stayed the same.

Note: I was really lax with my ARC team about when reviews should be sent in. I was clear that I didn’t care if they were pre-publication (partly because well…I read ARCs a lot and I know I can’t always get to things on time, and partly because I didn’t decide a publication day until fairly late in the timeline).

However, from what I’ve seen for other authors, a pretty low return on ARC readers isn’t entirely uncommon? Kind of a kick in the confidence regardless.

Preorders

Total of 7. I don’t remember when I opened preorders, but I believe it was around the same time as the ARC application.

Marketing (sort of) from June 13th to July 13th

I ran a small (kinda last-minute) campaign for extra merch & an extra story for anyone who preordered or purchased during release week. I said that I would re-run this campaign for paperbacks.

These are my Tired Girl numbers:

Instagram: 5 posts specifically about DR. 2 non-DR related.

TikTok: 7 videos specifically about DR, most getting ~300 views, though one broke 1k. (Notably, I didn’t post about the release week extras on TikTok at all.). 2 non-DR related.

Tumblr: One post I would send spinning around the block every once in a while. Definitely lowest priority.

Release Week Sales

eBook: 3

KU: 15 pages read

Release Month Sales

eBook: 4

KU: 594 pages read

Future Plans

*Releases one giant sigh* I’M FREEEEEE

Once the book is written and done, cover made and words edited, there’s only one thing left in your control: marketing. Everything else is up to chance (honestly, marketing is up to chance a lot of the time, too).

But I pretty quickly decided to take it easy on social media. A wave of burn-out that had been chasing me since last summer finally caught up, and I don’t think I’m alone in saying that when I saw like no return on investment for my posts or chatter, I was like, “Okay, I’m going to rest, instead of pushing this boulder up this hill, then. I deserve it.”

One plus of having paperbacks come out way after the eBooks? I get release day Part 2! (With fun new props for pics and videos!) I have a good list of video ideas & drafts, but I would always look at them and think, “Wouldn’t this be better to do when the paperbacks are around?” And soon, they will be!

As for blog posts, I want to continue being transparent with things like this. I will (hopefully) catch up on the numbers again near the end of August, as by then I’ll be making the decision to keep Deep Roots in KU for another three months or not.

Until then, lower your expectations! It’ll keep you sane out here. Thanks for reading and hanging out.

[tumbleweed-run]

Reaching Out

Pt 3

Astarion my crafty companion,

Please forgive me for my inconsiderateness. I did not mean to remind you of your predicament once again. I simply meant we all have our trials, even when life seems to be going well. We had actually considered your presence while discussing our wedding. If you are still unable to join us during the daylight, we’ll marry at night on the terrace at Mother’s house under a thousand lanterns. Tav is even working on how to convince the magistrates in Waterdeep that it is of the utmost importance that our owlbear cub be allowed to attend. That is a matter you might also be employed to assist with. 

Do you miss being a magistrate? I know your crafty tongue got us out of a number of situations in the past. I can certainly see how magnificent you would be at the job. Perhaps some kind of night council? I’m sure there are a number of reasons why one might need legal assistance in the dead of night. In fact, I can think of a number of times I was required to trudge down to the jails during my academy days to assist in the retrieval of a few of my drunken classmates.  Of course, I may be quite eloquent but my skills, in that regard alone, do not match yours. So often I was required to spend my entire allowance in order to secure their release. 

While we’re on the subject of skills mine are just fine, in the bedroom and everywhere else. But you are correct in guess that this is the nature of what I wish to discuss with you. Although I’m not certain how comfortable I am at the idea of you considering my sex life so closely.

The issue is not with my skill or the size of my rod (of which I will not get into details, but it is quite adequate—I’ll remind you I once bed a goddess) but with some other things I may lack. 

Tav is of the adventurous type, and to some extent, I am too. I am more than happy to indulge her in most of her fantasies, of which she has a number. But I fear there are things which she enjoys that I have yet to convince myself to enjoy with her. I do not shame her for these desires; they’re hardly the most taboo things, but I simply do not share them. This is one area in which I will admit I am lacking. Perhaps my reluctance is because of the lack of knowledge of this area. Because of this I wonder if you might offer some insight or knowledge for me. Or better yet the name of a book so I can familiarize myself. This is exceedingly embarrassing for me. 

Tav sends her love and I am enclosing a letter from her to you. When you respond please keep in mind she is unaware that I am writing to you with these issues. 

Gale Dekarios

Pt 1, Pt 2,

Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7

Also on AO3

[thebanishedreader]

Ongoing Book Review: Dead Inside (Chandler Morrison) Pt. 1

I take way too long to finish books since I read like 7 at a time, so I have decided to start posting my thoughts and reviews as I go along. Also, that way I can actually commit to posting these reviews once I finish the book, which is yet another thing the commitment devils have kept me from accomplishing.

Anyhow, though, here we go: the first ongoing review will cover what I have read so far of Dead Inside by Chandler Morrison.

(CW: mentions of necrophilia, cannibalism, and sex. NSFW I guess).

Description by Seller (amazon.com): "A young hospital security guard with a disturbingly unique taste in women. A maternity doctor with a horrifically unusual appetite. When the two of them meet, they embark on a journey of self-discovery while shattering societal norms and engaging in destructively aberrant behavior. As they unwittingly help each other understand a world in which neither seems to belong, they begin to realize what it truly means to be alive... And that it might not always be a good thing."

Here I am, 15% through the book. I know it's not far, but honestly, it's far enough. All I have to say is-- wow. Wow.

This book kinda sucks. Just an all-around drag. A bore, but not the pleasant boring drawl of a lecturer putting you to sleep. The harrowing, suffocating boredom of having to work a shift with that coworker that you hate, that makes you cringe so hard that it's not even entertaining to hate them anymore. Get me out of here. That's how this book feels.

For a book constantly boasting how readers say it's "not for the faint of heart," it's surprisingly underwhelming. I'm frankly disappointed, and yet this book keeps embarrassing itself so much within only 15% that I can't even be angry at myself for falling into its trap.

My reasoning falls into 3 categories: Let-Down, Cringe, and Excuses.

First things first - I was expecting something raunchy, something gruesome and disturbing. I'm not one of those people who shies away from Dead Dove content, far from it. I love that shit. Literature is a place to explore the dangerous, the taboo, the fucked up-ness of being a person. So, finding a book that pledged it was disgusting, disturbing, and medically horrifying? Sign me up. This book is... not that.

What was promised to be a horror novel that pushes the boundaries of what is too much horror, what toes the line between gratuitous and entertaining, this novel relies on one thing: shock value. And the biggest bummer for that tactic is this: if your audience is not shocked, then there is nothing left supporting the narrative.

Dead Inside relies entirely on the audience not being familiar with horror stories or even true crime stories involving necrophilia or cannibalism. The concept of a perverted security guard using his power to violate corpses is supposed to be mortifying, unbelievably despicable. Yet for a seasoned horror fan, it's nothing short of lame. Juvenile, almost. There is hardly any risk when our security guard goes into a morgue which he holds the key to, wherein there are no security cameras, where he can do whatever he pleases, lay on the floor afterwards, and go back to work-- in a tiny, unbusy hospital. It's boring, it's lame, who gives a shit if this weirdo gets his rocks off in weird ways; it's horrible to think of it happening in real life to the body of a loved one, certainly, but this is horror literature. Stephen King would have had worms crawling up the dude's dick and blossoming into a parasite that whispers in his ear until he castrates himself. Chandler Morrison just has our (I hate to even call him this) protagonist fuck a corpse. Cool, I guess.

2. Number Two. Let's talk Cringe Factor.

This narrator is unbearable. Unbearable. He sounds like the stereotype of a discord edgelord who is narrating this book with the sole purpose of scaring off the normies. He relishes in saying gross things, being gross, all while acting as if he is so much more sophisticated than he is.

It doesn't help that the book is narrated in first person. This goes back to how I described the experience of reading Dead Inside to be equivalent to working a shift with a coworker that is very much not your friend who disrespects you the same way a friend would tease. It's just plain oblivious. Our necrophiliac incel narrator is the epitome of the Riverdale meme where Jughead says "I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in. And I don't want to fit in." Like, Christ man, we get it, you don't shower and your hair is greasy and people don't want to be around you not because you're "weird", but because you're inconsiderate and unhygienic and put 0 effort into anything whatsoever. Having to listen to the narrator's commentary on how he's aware how disturbing his own actions are, how he knows the ordinary person would see him as a freak, it's just so lame. That's the only word I have for it, really. Just completely and utterly lame. This novel reads with the same tone as a Reddit incel jerk-off posting about Elliot Rodger. It's just pathetic, but there's no pity there. It's entirely self-induced patheticness that the narrator excuses as being "unique."

It's fine to have characters in books that are frustrating, irritating, that make you just want to smack them upside the head for yapping too long. But it's never a good sign when the person I want most desperately to shut the fuck up is the narrator. It's not good writing if my method of making the narrator quit talking is closing the book and contemplating whether or not it's even worth finishing. Extraordinarily poor quality character. But it's not intentional - we are supposed to find this character disturbing, threatening, and eerily fucked up. We're supposed to wonder why he got this way, and what it will take to break him. We are supposed to hate him, and relish in his demise. I feel nothing but exasperation from this man. The simplest way to resolve my hatred for him is to close the book and put it away. I don't give a fuck what happens to him. I don't think he even deserves my attention, and he's the narrator. This is bad.

3. And finally. Excuses.

This complaint is a short, but prudent one. The writing quality is mediocre at best. One of the biggest rules of any creative work, but particularly writing, art, and filmmaking, is that your audience is smarter than you think. Leave things open for interpretation. Leave opportunity for ponderance, and analysis. Show, don't tell.

Dead Inside is all tell, with nothing to show. Our narrator is a loser, but Morrison doesn't let us own it. Instead, excuses are made; the most infuriating example of this is after our narrator has finished fornicating with a poor, lifeless victim. The section goes:

"... but my lovers are all equipped with the best birth control the world can offer. As in, dead reproductive systems. I know that goes without saying, but I like to say it." (p. 21)

If it goes without saying, then don't say it. The segment would have been entirely fine without that last remark; if anything, it would have been better, and bolstered the narrator's character as a whole! And this is only one of the outright examples I have of this characterization.

The bitter, dark humor of our narrator would have been brilliantly given if the quote ended at "dead reproductive systems." We would have been left with the pure objectification and lack of emotion our narrator possesses, how he sees dead bodies purely as anatomical tools for his own peak control and pleasure, his own performance. We as the audience would have been victims of him as well, subjected to listen to the gross things he says and does and entirely unable to resist it-- pure puppets for his sick fantasies, just like the corpses he violates. It would have illustrated an actual level of mystique and unsettling nature to the relationship between narrator and narrated and audience. The novel's ongoing themes of fetish and object, the definitions of violation, it all would have been so interesting if only the narrator didn't say something so juvenilely self-aware every five seconds, like he's vying for our attention and approval. Look!!, Morrison makes our narrator constantly wave his hands in our face like a child, Look!! Isn't that fucked up!! Look at how fucked up I can be! Tell me I'm gross, tell me I'm weird!! Look at how gross that is, right!! That's scary, right??

No. It's annoying, and it gets old before it even got a chance to start.

Again, I'm 25 pages into a 191 page book. It's mid as fuck. I hope it turns around, but I don't think it will-- I can see from only 15% where this story is going, I bet I can plot out most if not the entire rest of the book. I think the concept is one spooky "what-if" that goes no deeper than that. Honestly, I'm really disappointed. I wanted to be disturbed. I don't have much motivation to keep reading this book except the pervasive nagging of my soul to finish most books I pick up. Plus, I want to know if I'm wrong about how dog this has so far turned out to be.

If you made it this far, holy shit. Congrats. You're running the Athens marathon by reading this. You're amazing. I'm giving you a small kiss on the forehead.

[kyanitegemverse]

7, 9, 14, and 27 for the Cheese (tm)

7]Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

[already answered this one here!

9] Do they empathize with non-sentient things (dolls, plants, books…)?

Oh absolutely. The number of times she's apologized to the oven and fridge for closing the door a little too aggressively while getting used to her own strength after just getting the parasite...

14] Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?

I think she'd disagree with it. Why be embarrassed about something that brings you joy? That being said she is a hypocrite and absolutely gets embarrassed at the fact she loves a whole bunch of classical music. Can you blame her though when Neon Trees and Muse both slap? Like really though who listens to stuff that was created in any time period before the BS (Beyond Sol) era?? only history nerds do that!

27] Forgiveness or vengeance (or…)?

Vengeance, hold a grudge, vent your frustrations to your coworker, get a newfound appreciation over time, have a change of heart on how you feel about her, come to terms with what happened and adjust to the fact your life will never be the same no matter what you do, accept this and let go of the grudge and want for vengeance, have a SERIOUS realization, become attracted to (again. you MAY have had a bit of a crush on said person before The Incident. teehee), agonize over what this all means, talk to your bestie about it (on multiple occasions), lose sleep over Thoughts tm, FINALLY work up the courage to say anything to her, sleep with, end up dating, probably will have to have a whole conversation about the it if that hasn't happened already.... am I missing any steps in this? its kind of an ongoing thing yknow?

[fourseasonscomeandgo]

yoohyeon gf headcanons

TW: cursing

you've been crossing paths for years now

she never dared to talk to you

she's not very good at keeping secrets so you knew she had a crush on you, but you were too timid to make a move

literally started dating just because sua appeared one day, tapped your shoulder and went "my friend has had the biggest crush on you for like four years so can i get your number?"

she was and is the shyest

does dorky stuff and gets embarrassed afterwards as if she wasn't a member of dreamcatcher

she depends on moods, one days she wakes up and decides she doesn't need you or your affection, and just goes about her day with her independence

other days she's literally a leech and you have her over you all the time

those are your favorite days

you make fun of her because she wakes up at seven am to read economy books and drink coffee with jazz music on the background

but you just make fun of her cause you can't assume to her face you actually find that really attractive

she doesn't like being teased by you tho

you're her partner, so naturally she's more vulnerable with you

yoohyeon needs to hear you say that she's doing great, that she's smart, that you love her and all of those beautiful qualities

so she gets all pouty when you call her clumsy

it's not to pick up on her, she really is clumsy

but people exaggerates it, she's actually the brain of the relationship

you love to watch her while she reads, studies or practices an instrument

more than anything, you love to listen to her singing

virgin mariah (carey) borrowed her voice to her i swear

pie is actually your partner, you know no kim yoohyeon

no zoophilia tho

i mean you go around with the little friend everywhere all the time

she shuts down when she gets mad

when we pull up you know it's a shut down

she didn't grow up in an environment in which she seemed to be able to talk about her feelings, so when she's angry or sad, she doesn't let it out

even tho you have talked with her about it and tried to create a space for her to open up, it's just not in her

she does try, and you're thankful for that

so a lot of fights cause you never know what's going on in her head

so many deep talks about growing as humans, finding your true selves, being nice and loving people, selfishness and how to get rid of it, and another similar stuff

her brain, the small part you understand, fascinates you

she sees the world in another light, a kinder and more liberating light

she may be up to an open relationship but let's be honest who would be stupid enough to not GATEKEEP this woman

idc about sounding toxic, she's fucking yours

she is very sexually sensitive, horny 24/7

you go on trips all the time cause she loves to travel, so even if it's just an hour in car, you go exploring the world together

she prefers going out for dates, but if you propose her a gaming night, she'll ditch everything for it

the first time she stayed at your house for more than a night was because she didn't want to go till she'd win a game in lol

when you're sad or upset she panics

she doesn't even know how to deal with her own emotions, how would she deal with someone else's?

she just gives you your space when you're mad and then tries to talk when you're calmer

when you're sad she hugs you and while she thinks of something else that may help you, you just get better

don't get the wrong idea, yoohyeon and you have the deepest bond you two has ever had with anyone, you two are best friends

yeah, you were hot, and yeah, she may have thought a few times about you as her partner, but before even calling yourself her anything she needed to be sure you were her friend

she did kiss you and more during that becoming friends period, she's not very patient, she already waited for years, don't judge the woman!

if you two don't think the same in social/political/existential topics that may cause fights too

she says sweet nothings to you in like eleven different languages

and that's so fucking hot, be thankful

she likes that you are polite and smart the most

you both support each other in all of your projects, and that's something yoohyeon values deeply from you

she literally supports you in everything, you could appear and be like "baby i want to tattoo a goat screaming on my forehead" and she'll be like "if that makes you happy…"

she loves you so much she could explode

calls you "baby", "jagi", "honey"

she melts a little everytime you call her absolutely any pet name, she does have a weak heart for "puppy" for some reason

getting lost in her smile and her getting shy cause you're staring too much

she stares at you literally any moment you're not looking in her direction

getting teased by the members all the damn time

you belong with her, you both just know

—O—O—

no one asks me dreamcatcher pieces anymore (my requests are closed btw, please leave me alone, i have so much to write already) so i had to take this matter in my own hands and i did this.

just wanted to clarify that yoohyeon is my girlfriend and i did this for my own maladaptive daydreaming, so don't be looking at other people's women.

—ica.

[patchbadger]

Hello it's been 7 years on this website and I come with raccoon paws scratching at your window pane.

TLDR: I'm supporting 3- 6 humans, a mortgage, inflated electric bills, student loans, basic needs, and working as the sole provider and now I cannot afford my medicine that prevents my migraines. If you want cheap art I am here hi just remember I'm colorblind so colors won't be perfect.

I take many medications for my migraine condition. I take a daily preventative, an abortive when I have a migraine, and then I have a monthly preventative that is an injectable. I need all of these to get me down to 6 or 8 migraines a month. If it rains I have more but this is with medication. If I do not have one of these medications I have migraines daily and if I encounter a trigger like not getting enough sleep, the weather changing, smoking, etc I'll get knocked out.

Unfortunately I have brainstem migraines which impacts my speech and ability to move in my environment. I continue to work through my migraines because I have literally no choice. I basically look and sound drunk it's horribly embarrassing.

This impacts my ability to drive too. If it strikes at work I need to uber home because my coworkers won't drive me home and no one else has a license.

If I miss one dose of any of my medications it sets off a migraine conga line qs I like to call it and I begin having migraines every 2- 3days and the longer I am off it the more migraines I steadily have.

It's hell.

My migraine medication is 208$. I am currently the only working adult for a household of three and there will soon be three children here for the summer.

Unfortunately I had serotonin syndrome a few weeks ago as some of you know and that had me out of work for a week and a half. Meaning I lost a week and a half pay check. Which may not seem like much but we live in constant poverty and are food insecure.

Literally every dollar counts in our precarious position.

The electricity company in western New York is super charging its customers so a regular electric bill for a house using less electric than average is 300- 500$ a month. Which is just a little less than our mortgage

We currently owe over a 1,000 in back pay, there isn't any relief for individuals who cannot pay the inflated rates. It's totally crazy but I need my medication. I can call the electric company and beg but I can't beg for my medicine.

My field also experiences a drop in attendence in the summer and due to my health my boss I'd trying to reduce my hours to help my body recover. That's great and all but it doesn't help me get the money I need for my injection.

My student loans are 875$ a month and I'm on the lowest payment plan and the government just sold my loans to a private company so I will be paying additional loans soon.

As you can see I have a lot on my plate but I just need that migraine medicine so I can work through it. I do a lot of passive income through survey junkies but I can't do those activities when I'm migraining.

All the images below are works in progress

Basic pencil and ink illustration

Comic book pages 15- 30 depending on content and number of pages.

if you want a comic badly and feel OK with my abilities we can work on a manageable and low price to make multiple pages happen. So bulk pages will be cheaper.

Comic book featured custom outlets??? Just resin customized outlet covers???

Can do

Painting I mean I'm trying it but if you'd like one hmu man

I tinker around with a lot of stuff

I also like to find old toys/statues and remake them so if youre interested in my raccoon art that stuff is up for new homes that will appreciate their unique beauty and love them for who they are.

Thanks for your attention and happy scrolling!!

[laventadorn]

Hey, you're one of my favorite writers and I'm looking to start writing fanfiction. Have you got any tips for beginners? ❤️

i've been letting this percolate, but instead of bubbling gently away with ideas, it's rather been losing direction in my brain's spin cycle.

Part of my problem is that I do not personally find writing advice very useful! A former teacher and essayist, John Holt, said, "We learn to write by writing, not by reading other people's ideas about writing."

I think that 1) writing and 2) reading are the best ways to develop one's writing -- but this is the sort of vague, all-encompassing statement that sounds like "in order to live your life, you have to live your life." It's true! but functionally useless.

So, to try and make something useful out of these gobs of information in my brain, I think it depends on which of the following you want to develop:

Process

Understanding of your taste

I'll go more in-depth into these behind a cut because I started embarrassing myself with the length of this.

Process

This refers to just the way you go about getting the actual writing done. Some people are very regimented and this works for them -- cf. wake up at 5 and write for two hours, have breakfast at 7, then write until 10, and so forth (I think Ursula K. LeGuin did something like this? anyway it makes me want to spit blood, I'd die). Some people like to write best with fancy pens in fancy journals. Some people keep diaries next to their bed and write when they first wake up. Some write x number of words every day. etc. If you're so inclined, you can read what other people share about their processes.

However, not a flippin' one of those have ever worked for me. I couldn't explain why to you or myself; but I've tried all kinds of other people's processes and they were nothing to me. It was like trying on clothes that didn't fit.

Obviously this is not to say those people hadn't experienced enlightenment and worked out the best method for them. They just hadn't worked out the best method for me. They're not supposed to! I tried, it didn't work, that's all.

It's useful to see what other people have worked out; maybe it works for you! I have a writer friend who writes every day and publishes novels regularly. But I cannot write every day. I've tried, and eventually all I do is punish myself for not meeting my word count goals, and then I turn into a gnarled ball of anxiety and guilt. It's counterproductive.

(I did learn what not to do, though. I also learned I have a tendency to get in my own way. I can add more about my self-discovery process in another post if you want.)

tl;dr - One size doesn't fit all. Just because it worked for them, it doesn't have to work for you. This is normal and natural.

2. Understanding your own taste

We all like some writers and not others. (I'm honored to be one you like!) It doesn't mean writers are bad when we don't like them, nor does it mean our taste is bad -- it just means what and/or how they like to write doesn't align with what and/or how we like to read.

A piece of writing advice I do find useful is that you learn what you like by studying what you like to read. For instance, my very favorite author is Jane Austen. My favorite thing about her (there are many things I love) is how she develops characters; character is the most important aspect of a work for me. So it's useful for me to study how she creates and delineates character (I also read annotated editions of her books because, well, English degree nerds do stuff like that for fun).

It's not all this high brow, though -- when I come across a fanfic Snape I like, I also study that :3

By doing this, we're not so much trying to replicate this person we like and admire (although we can, and other writing advice says to do this explicitly as part of the learning process) as we're trying to understand ourselves and learn from people we like and admire. In this way, we learn how to do grow toward the place we want to be as writers.

(This is also not limited to authors -- you can study books, TV shows, movies, etc. All fiction eventually ends up at the same place, and we tend follow our own taste across mediums. You can also study one author for their prose, another for their humor, a third for their world-building, etc. - it's the Olympics!)

tl; dr - Studying your faves to understand yourself helps develop your writing. Metacognition is the process of thinking about one's cognition; this is that, but for reading taste. The more we learn about ourselves, the more we can do.

--

I was going to add a third point about writing voice and a fourth about interests but this was legit getting embarrassing in length, and idk about you, but if someone gives me too much information at once my brain shuts down. If you are not like me, feel free to tell me! I didn't want it to turn out to be useless to the target audience, i.e. you who sent the ask :)

Also hit me up if this is too vague/all encompassing. I'm hard to shut up once I get going; I find it hard to get going usually because I know it's hard for me to shut up!

[fishy-lava]

Tag Game

tagged by @morathicain :]

1. Are you named after anyone? I mean I learned of my name via a book but I didnt name myself after the character specifically so kinda??

2. When was the last time you cried? in general just a couple days ago but it was because of a show I was watching. other than that the last time I cried for reasons unrelated to a piece of media was a couple weeks ago

3. Do you have kids? no and I dont want any

4. Do you use sarcasm? yes. all the time. every day. I could not count the number of times I've been called a smartass lmao

5. What sports do you play/have you played? I did figure skating as a child and I miss it dearly and I'm considering getting into boxing (not competitively just as a thing to do) but that's it

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people? honestly? the way they make me feel. I have very intense instinctual reactions to people but it's a subconscious thing and usually just manifests as The Bad Feeling when something is off about someone (not always immediate tho) if they dont set off The Bad Feeling then probably the way they look or what they're doing

7. What's your eye colour? brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings? I'm good with either but I dont like happy endings just for the sake of happy endings like they need to make sense for the story and characters otherwise it frustrates me

9. Any special talents? does the ability to almost always be looking when someone does something stupid or embarrassing count? I have a tendency to look up just as someone does something and my step mom likes to joke that I'm always watching

10. Where were you born? Oregon (U.S.)

11. What are your hobbies? i watch a lot of TV but other than that I like reading, drawing, painting, sewing, embroidery, baking, jewelry making and I've been wanting to get into metal/woodworking and sculpting and crochet  and basically I just like making things also I like puzzles and word games and I collect glass bottles and bottle caps and the metal tabs off cans and knives and rocks and this is very rambly I'm gonna stop now

12. Do you have any pets? we have a dog (my step mom also has a turtle and a lizard but I tend to avoid them)

13. How tall are you? 5'4" last i checked but I'm pretty sure I stopped growing when i was like 15

14. Favourite subject in school? i kinda hated it all which was really more of just an environmental thing but regardless it made it pretty much impossible for me to actually enjoy any of it but there were a couple classes I liked like woodshop and astronomy and I hated p.e. but I enjoyed getting to work in the weight room

15. Dream job? ya know this is a question that has stumped me like my entire life because I could just never think of anything I wanted to do up until like right before I turned 19 when I got strangely attached to the idea of working in a cemetery and it just kinda stuck ever since but other than that maybe a tattoo artist

tagging: @jumpingthesefences @days-of-storm and anyone who wants :]

[fayerieetale]

Apparently some tag question has been going around, and I thought these have been illegal already. AND nobody tagged me for it, so Imma tag myself cause I'm too lazy to study right now and I'm being a Leo.

1. What would the happiest and best version of yourself look like?

If I'm lying on my side with someone feeding me grapes, and at the flick of my fingers, people do what I please or what's on my mind.

2. What message/advice would you give to your past self?

NEVER WASTE YOUR TIME ON SOMEONE OR SOMETHING NOT WORTH IT-YOU WILL GET OVER THEM.

3. What is your happy place and why?

Church. HAHA, can't even lie to myself.

Last day of exams. I come home. Take a shower. Open the AC. Close the curtains and lights. And take a sleep for hours. Feeling all the exhaustion run out through my body.

4. Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? How did you get out of it? Any advice?

Yup. In all kinds of relationships. The thing is I don't get out, because I like it manipulative and toxic, well, at least, they do.

5. If money didn't matter (if you earned enough money from it) what job would you want to have and why?

Trauma surgeon. Period.

6. Do you have your happiest memory? If you don't mind sharing please tell us about it.

This is rather sad, but my happiest memory was just an expectation. It was supposed to happen last January. But it didn't. And that makes me extremely lonely.

7. Do you have your saddest memory? If you don't mind sharing please tell us about it.

Wow! that escalated rapidly. I think I have more sad memories than happy ones. And the thing is they're of the same level. But I'll choose two since I tagged myself and this is my page.

First: is that when my mother thought I cannot do med school since my sister is having difficulty in law school, which means if she's already having difficult time in doctorate school, what more if I do it.

Second: when someone who mattered to me said, not just on one but multiple occasions: "whenever i see a pretty pretty pretty girl on my social media, i wonder if you were even pretty"; don't get me wrong, these things didn't bother or bother me now, but during those times, I let myself to be vulnerable.

8. What is the movie/book/tv show that made you think a lot or made you change something about yourself?

Nietzsche book just to sound pretentious. Even the spelling is intimidating.

9. If you ever were to write a book what would it be about?

My autobiography. We need to epitomize me.

10. Do you have a strange habit?

Nope. Too perfect.

11. Have you ever met a person that drastically changed your life?

Yeah. We no longer talk.

12. How would you describe yourself in 5 words ?

I will never be enough.

13. What is your idea of a perfect day?

Waking up late in bed with the AC on, and the blanket just keeping me warm. Looking at the back of someone while he quietly makes breakfast for lunch, with sunlight hitting right through the gap of the curtains. Watching movies or reading a book after lunch, sleeping and snuggling, then going out for dinner and walking around Calle Crisologo. I'm easy to please provided that all of his attention, and eyes are on me. And well, if he carries me as I flick my fingers as if on cue.

14. Do you have any embarrassing stories from your life?

I am not romanticizing embarrassment. Just get the book. Refer to #9.

15. What is the strangest thing you've done or seen ?

I plead the 5th.

16. What is your gender identity? Do you think you do a lot of stereotypical things that are assigned to your gender?

I do exaggerated stereotypical things to mock the society. But in general, I couldn't care less.

17. If you could bring one character from a book to life, who would it be and why?

The wolf guy from Twilight. He seems hot. Hopefully he doesn't smell like a dog. (Refer to number 16)

18. Do you have a person in your life that makes you feel special or a person that you feel like you're soulmates with?

You mean personS?

19. What has been the hardest thing you had to deal with? Do you have any advice on how to deal with a similar situation?

Family stuff. Never limit yourself just because they don't believe in you. You do you.

20. What are you currently waiting for?

a. Getting married (refer to number 16)

b. Scholarship allowance

[partyglimpse2]

60 + Funny Birthday wishes for younger brother

Happy Birthday, little bro! Remember, you’re not just a year older, but a year closer to becoming the grumpy old man you always joke about.

Absolutely! Here are some funny birthday wishes for your younger brother:

1. Happy Birthday, little bro! Remember, you’re not just a year older, but a year closer to becoming the grumpy old man you always joke about.

2. Congrats on your birthday! Don’t worry about getting older; you’re still younger than the way you act!

View Original

3. Happy Birthday! Just think, you’re not getting older—you’re leveling up! And by the way, level 25 means you have to start pretending to be responsible now.

4. Happy Birthday to my favorite partner in crime! I would say you’re the best brother ever, but that might be a lie. Let’s just stick with ‘I’m stuck with you’ for now.

5. Wishing my younger brother a very happy birthday! You’re now officially at the age where you need to start worrying about the things you say to people who can remember them.

6. Happy Birthday! I was going to get you a super awesome gift, but then I realized you’re already stuck with me as your sibling. Looks like you’re all set!

7. Congrats on surviving another year with me as your sibling. That should count as a superpower! Have an amazing birthday, superhero!

8. Happy Birthday to the only person who knows all my secrets—and still somehow manages to look up to me. Here’s to another year of being the best little brother ever!

9. Cheers to my younger brother! May your day be filled with cake, presents, and zero reminders of how you’re no longer a ‘kid’ but a full-grown adult who still acts like a kid.

10. Happy Birthday! Not that you’re ancient, but if you were a vehicle, you would be considered a classic. Hope you have a fantastic day, vintage model!

11. Happy Birthday! Remember, age is just a number. In your case, it’s a really high one, but who’s counting?

12. Happy Birthday, bro! I was going to get you something awesome, but then I realized you already have me as a sibling. What more could you ask for?

13. Congratulations on getting older! Don’t worry, you’re still young enough to blame your mistakes on being ‘a kid’—for a little while longer, anyway.

Funny Birthday wishes for younger brother

14. Happy Birthday to my younger brother! You’re not getting older, just more experienced. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself so I don’t feel old!

15. Let’s laugh at our own jokes and keep each other sane for a whole year more! Happy Birthday, bro! Let’s make it one to remember (or at least forget)!

16. Happy Birthday to my partner in crime and my favorite troublemaker! I’d say you’re the best little brother in the world, but that might be an exaggeration. You’re definitely in the top two!

17. Happy Birthday! You know you’re getting older when you start getting excited about socks and underwear. Hope your birthday is as awesome as those new socks will be!

18. Cheers to another year of having me as your sibling. It’s basically a lifelong adventure with unlimited pranks and embarrassing moments. Enjoy every minute of it!

19. Happy Birthday! I’d make a joke about your age, but I’m too busy making sure you don’t find the hidden party supplies before the big reveal.

20. Happy Birthday, little bro! I would have gotten you something really amazing, but then I realized you’re already surrounded by amazingness—me!

21. Happy Birthday! You’re not getting older, just more distinguished… like a fine cheese that’s been left out a bit too long.

22. Congrats on another trip around the sun! Just remember, every birthday is a new chapter in your life’s book—and this one is a pop-up book with lots of surprises!

23. Happy Birthday to the only person who still gets excited about toys and video games at their age. Keep living the dream, bro!

24. Happy Birthday! If anyone asks, you’re still in your ‘experimental phase.’ You know, like a mad scientist—just without the lab coat and explosions.

25. Wishing my younger brother a birthday that’s as fantastic as you think you are. Spoiler: that’s really fantastic!

26. Happy Birthday! I’d call you ‘young and naïve,’ but you’re not quite that young anymore. Just stick with ‘young at heart’ and enjoy the cake!

27. Cheers to another year of being awesome! Don’t worry about getting older; just remember you’re not a real adult until you can complain about back pain.

28. Happy Birthday! If you’re feeling old, just remember that you still have a few years left before you start looking like our parents!

29. Happy Birthday! You’re like a fine wine—getting better with age, but also making us all wonder how you’re still able to stay so goofy.

30. Happy Birthday, little bro! You know you’re getting older when the candles on your cake cost more than the cake itself. Enjoy the fire hazard!

31. Happy Birthday, bro! You’re not just a year older, you’re also a year closer to getting your own Netflix account and not having to share it with me!

32. Congrats on another year of being amazing! I guess that means I have to keep up the ‘awesome sibling’ act. No pressure!

33. Happy Birthday! If you think getting older is tough, just remember: you’re still younger than you’ll be next year!

34. Here’s to a birthday as great as the time you borrowed my stuff and didn’t return it. Oh wait, that’s every day! Have an awesome one!

35. Happy Birthday to the person who knows all my secrets and still loves me anyway. Or at least pretends to!

36. Happy Birthday! I hope your day is filled with all the things you love—like cake, presents, and zero responsibility.

37. Congratulations on being another year older! You’re younger than you will be the following year, at least. Enjoy your youth while it lasts!

38. Happy Birthday! You’re now officially old enough to start pretending to be mature. Have fun with that!

39. Cheers to my little brother! Don’t worry about getting older; you’re still younger than your next big birthday!

40. Happy Birthday! If life were a video game, you’d just leveled up. Time to unlock new achievements and maybe some new adult responsibilities!

41. Happy Birthday! You’re like a fine wine, getting better with age—except you’re more likely to give people headaches after a few too many.

42. Here’s to another year of you being younger than me! Don’t worry, I’ll always be here to make you feel old.

43. Happy Birthday, little bro! If you start feeling old, just remember: I’ll always be here to remind you how much older I am.

44. Congrats on your special day! If anyone asks, I’m your favorite sibling. The finest birthday present I can offer you is that!

45. Happy Birthday! Don’t let getting older get you down. It’s just nature’s way of reminding you to appreciate how awesome you are!

46. Happy Birthday, bro! Just keep in mind that you are leveling up, not aging. Too bad you still have to deal with me as your sibling!

47. Congrats on surviving another year with me as your sibling! Your prize? A birthday filled with love, cake, and all the embarrassing stories I can dig up.

48. Happy Birthday! You know you’re getting older when you start to get excited about things like a new phone case or a comfy chair. Enjoy the small things!

49. Wishing my younger brother a birthday full of joy and minimal nagging from me. Okay, who am I kidding? The nagging’s included!

50. Happy Birthday! Don’t worry about the number of candles on your cake. Just think of it as more evidence of how awesome you’ve become over the years.

51. Happy Birthday! If you feel like you’re getting old, just remember: I’ve been around longer, so I’m basically a pro at it. Let’s party anyway!

52. Cheers to you, little bro! Another year older, another year wiser. Alternatively, we will inform Mom and Dad of that!

53. Happy Birthday! The good news is, you’re still younger than me. The bad news? You’re now old enough to understand all my jokes!

54. Congratulations on your birthday! I would have gotten you something amazing, but then I realized you already have me as a sibling. Consider that your gift!

55. Happy Birthday! I was going to give you something really special, but then I realized that having me as a sibling is pretty much the ultimate gift.

56. Happy Birthday! If you’re feeling old, just remember that every year you get older, I’m just that much more awesome as your sibling. You’re welcome!

57. Happy Birthday! You’re not old; you’re just well-seasoned. Like a fine pizza or a well-aged cheese. Enjoy your day, you classic!

58. Happy Birthday to my favorite troublemaker! Here’s to another year of causing mischief and pretending to be responsible adults!

59. Cheers to you on your birthday! If you need me to remind you how young you are, just let me know. It’s my job to keep you humble!

60. Happy Birthday! I’m so glad you’re my younger brother because it means I get to be the bossy one. Here’s to another year of me being the best sibling ever!

61. Happy Birthday! You’re now officially at the age where your back might start hurting just from picking up your birthday cake. Enjoy every moment, old man!

62. Congrats on your birthday! You’re not old—you’re just well-seasoned, like that one pair of socks you refuse to throw away. Here’s to many more years of ‘classic’ style!