#and bobby wasnt even like. what are you doing?

[tommygotwrittenoff]

thinking about gerrard hating bucks ideas and seeing them as a form of insubordination versus bobby just letting buck do his thing

[foxmulderautism]

the funniest thing about beau and bobby is them being completely sexually incompatible except for the fact they both like leather. they’re literally like oh no dark room thanks i just wanted to hang out in the leather bar with you

[mazzystar24]

I hope I can ask you this because I don't want to ask in the tags, I'm scared 🥹 but I've seen a lot of discourse about why tommy isn't good for buck, he's cold, the relationship is toxic etc and I was wondering why people think that? Is there anything specific that started it?

I fully believe eddie is buck's true love, endgame, whatever we want to call it and I'm sad we don't have that (yet) but I thought bucktommy was kinda fun in the meantime. I just want to understand 🫶🏻

Oh hey darling! you were so sweet and genuine in your response so please know I’m just answering what I’m asked and if you wanna enjoy and have fun with bt that is completely your prerogative but I’m just offering my perspective on it

And i am warning you this is gonna be long because I feel a constant need to go really in depth in my thoughts

Okay so idk how I’m gonna break this down but maybe I’ll do it in like main points?

Also if you’re new here whenever I use bullet points I’m just doing it cos I find it easier to chunk up my thoughts not cos I’m being curt or anything with you

1. The chimney and hen begins episodes

He wasnt just passive in the episodes and letting Gerard get away with his racist and misogynistic behaviour he ACTIVELY participated in it

This includes:

• Asking if they forgot to tip the delivery guy WHILE THEY WERE EATING CHINESE FOOD when chimney first comes up despite the fact that 1. Chimney had a big ass lafd bag 2. They were probably already told a probie would be coming 3. Probably would’ve seen the actual delivery guy 4. I would bet my absolute life that question would not have been asked if buck or bobby had walked up those stairs this wasn’t an innocent comment it WAS RACIST intentionally like the entire point of the episode was to show how bad they had it

• the New York bitchiness comment

• throwing his tools down along for hen to clean up

• going out of his way to treat them like outcasts and hating chimney before he even knew him despite chimneys efforts

• the way each of them had to “earn his respect” in some way before he acted like a normal coworker to them and this was never in the typical ‘oh it’s a new person’ type of way it always had to do with their race or in hen’s case her gender too

A defence I see a lot for this is “oh he was closeted” and honestly to me that is such bullshit because 1. Eli was perfectly capable of not participating in the racism and taking chimney under his wing without getting any shit for it and chimney is quite literally a Korean man (something he literally can’t hide) and he had just got his head above water with Gerard’s racism when hen came and he STILL was a friend to her 2. Again tommy wasn’t passive in it and just letting Gerrard be racist (which would’ve been one thing) no he actively participated in it to be part of the boys club 3. Let’s say that somehow not being a dick would’ve meant that that was a threat to the closet he was in- that is still in my opinion a fucked up sense of preservation if you spare yourself the possibility of bigotry (despite having inherent social capital by being a white man in that job) by inflicting others to bigotry

Now when Tommy was first reintroduced I was like keeping an open mind and saying okay it’s been a lot of time and maybe he has genuinely made amends because I do believe in redemption but imo they have made no attempt to show us that and had him honestly put more of the blame on Gerrard for his behaviour or the writers flat out avoiding mentioning it to retcon tommy a little and hope we forget

Another defence I see is “oh chimney and hen became friends with him so they must’ve forgave him”, hen went no contact the moment he left (something the writers went out of their way to include that line) and chimney didn’t even invite him to his wedding which was quite big after the Buckley parents got involved so it’s not like it was cos it was such a small and intimate wedding and he only called him as far as we know in those years when he needed a favor, which all means that most likely they had kinda just put it behind them and kept up a coworker relationship with him, but no actual friendship or actual forgiveness or redemption had taken place

Oh wow all that was just point one and I can probably talk more on it but I’ll just leave it with saying that Lou’s comments about it being teasing or how Tommy genuinely didn’t know hen or chimney were capable etc just makes for a worse case than saying it’s cos of being in the closet (and that is genuinely a large part of why idk much abt Lou but those comments are enough to make me hate him) and I’ll also say that poc (myself included in that) have these situations so often- situations even as specific as gay men being racist to them to fit in - and we understand the nuance and shit to it but we also understand on a deep level how it feels to be on the other side of that

And getting toxic bt fans try to come up with ways to downplay or minimise racism honestly pisses me off so much cos believe you me we have heard every excuse and downplay under the sun and I for one am sick and tired of it

2. Why he’s viewed as cold and his jokes

• literally from the small parts we saw of him and Eddie hanging out we have seen the man is in fact capable of joking and being light and having fun but around buck in particular he’s like 🧍‍♂️😐 and the occasional 🙂 like it just feels very stiff and just plain in a way

• his humour consistently falls flat and feels passive aggressive more than anything like blunt or sardonic humour DOES work like I personally love it but it’s not being written OR executed right

A. It’s always in response to genuine moments or questions such as buck talking abt the award or the daddy kink joke or henren questioning him

B. It’s the the majority of what we see from him, there is not enough balance for it

C. Lack of rapport, when friends or couples make jokes that can come off the wrong way if said to anyone else it’s cos of the rapport built already, this rapport is not established with the characters OR with the audience for these jokes to come off right

D. I gotta say this one too but the execution just isn’t right from writing to acting, it’s the same reason sardonic humour lines from Sandra oh as Cristina Yang or hugh Laurie as house still lets you like the characters and find them funny but Tommys lines come off as annoying to a lot of people

3. I think fandom discourse probably has something to do with it but not in the way you think

I’m not saying like oh ppl who ship buddie just hate him cos of the ship no I’m saying that like what takes him from an annoying disliked character to a hated character is most likely the fact that his role stirred so much drama and caused so much damage to how the fandom used to be that its turned the dial up

4. A lot of his development, lore or redeemable factors or cute things are just not canon

This may be blunt and I am sorry for that but I think his character has been blown up to such a degree that it’s genuinely shocking

Like I look at posts or get sent hate and I’m like where did any of this happen this is just not canon this is just not a show like at times I’m genuinely convinced it’s a social experiment where different ppl saw a different show like some spiderman multiverse situation

Listen I’m all for headcanons genuinely like if you wanna take extra number three and make a whole backstory and lore and cute stuff abt her I’m all for it but it’s when it’s said as if it’s fact or canon that I’m like hold up a second rewind

I think this is kinda a result of Lou’s cameos (which honestly deserves its own post but you asked why the tommy hate so imma stay on topic) and also this like need to defend the character but not having much material to work with

Like if we look at canon we can literally break down the entirety of Tommys appearances this far in the show and what we learn about him:

• chimney begins- he makes a racist comment and he tries to suck up to Gerard, there is a little hint abt his gayness with the gf comment, Eli says to chimney that’s just how they are and tries to reason it could be fear of losing friends but we see tommy having friends in the firehouse while eli says this, chimney tries to make friends with him and tommy makes no attempt to get to know him and says he’d hate him anyways, chimney saves Tommys life thus earning his respect

• hen begins- she’s met with the same racism chimney is but also met with misogyny (and homophobia but that’s not relevant to the tommy of it all), we find out chimney is still isolated from the rest despite having earnt that respect, chimney befriends hen and again tommy still doesn’t try anything like that until hen proves herself and earns his respect, ppl reported Gerard but it’s never actually stated tommy was one of those ppl so again that’s not canon that’s speculated

• bobby begins- chimney and hen both seem to be like coworker friends with tommy and Sal, Sal throws hissy fit bobby “fires” him tommy says it’s an overreaction bobby reveals it was a transfer, they all seem to make nice, tommy leaves to 217

• chimney calls tommy for help and tommy helps

• we see nothing from tommy,then cruise ship he helps the team but also in this we find out hen cut off all contact since he left

• buck takes tour of harbour, Eddie and tommy have a friendship and we find out some of Tommys interests and that he was in the army, basketball scene and the subsequent apology and kiss

• dinner date, Tommy explains how he was in the closet, Buck has his little awkward moment (which will be elaborated on in my next point) , Tommy says nothing abt it till the Uber arrives and he leaves buck

• buck reaches out and apologises and asks for a second chance inviting tommy to the madney wedding

• bachelor party and the issue of the lack of costume and not just taking the day off for neither wedding nor bachelor party (which you can reason is reasonable but also I feel like this deserves its point for the narrative choices)

• tommy shows up straight outta work they kiss buck has the soot coming out award ceremony - buck being happy abt the reward to which tommy sardonically says enjoy it while it lasts enter bigoted cunt gerard then chimney comes and insults gerard and they walk away

• we don’t see tommy again till the dinner date after Bobby nearly died and when buck tries to explain Bobbys significance to his life tommy throws the your dad is still alive which is just honestly one of his worst moments imo and I made a whole post abt it but can’t find it and then we all know the rest of that convo and I could make a bullet point for it but actually I made a whole post before so I’ll link it: here

AND THATS IT

Like all this comes down to what maybe like 30 mins screentime? If that?

5. The leaving buck on their first date

The defences people use for this are:

• buck was trying to shove him back in the closet

• buck was obviously not ready

• people angry abt this are just babying buck like he can find his own way home it’s not that big of a deal

• buck was at fault there and tommy would’ve been justified in being angry and not giving him a second chance

And honestly every last one of these are bullshit imo and lemme go point by point

• buck panicked, I don’t think that what buck was feeling in that moment can be properly described because unless you’re a queer person and you’ve experienced that like bone deep panic that like brain overload then you won’t get it

Like one it’s his first queer date

Two he doesn’t even understand his own sexuality atp

Three his closest friend just walked in in a situation that’s already putting him on edge

So he’s not only panicking he’s not understanding why he’s panicking he’s trying to make excuses eventhough part of him knows he doesn’t need one but also he doesn’t even understand this side of himself yet so he doesn’t want to have to potentially explain it

Like it’s a million things and a million emotions and no one can claim they would behave rationally or appropriately in that situation and if you say that you would you’re lying simple as that

Also then we find out that Eddie thought tommy was straight anyways

• the reason I love the buddie coming out scene is because of Eddie’s “and what do you think” line because it’s not up to tommy or anyone else whether a person is “ready” enough in their queerness to date. Full stop.

Also tommy knew it was Buck’s first date with a man and was still down so why is he using that as some sort of out

•it’s not about babying buck and it’s not about him finding his own way home it’s the fact that Tommy could’ve done it with much more grace and he could’ve been a lot nicer with it but he wasn’t, and this is again bucks first date with a man even if it doesn’t end with a second date it should at the very least not end up with him feeling like a screw up on the side of the road

• to the ppl who say that- kindly shut up cos again see the first point but also I wanna point out that somehow the ppl saying this are also the same ones saying that Tommy was justified to be RACIST for a prolonged period of time due to being in the closet yet Buck what? Panicking for a few seconds and being a little awkward? is somehow this giant inexcusable thing

5. The narrative choices with him have been reasonably clear and tbh if they had been made with a woman it would not be up for debate:

• tommy leaves buck on their first date then he comes back and gives buck a chance- we as a fandom have been unanimous in saying for years that Buck’s endgame would be the one that doesn’t leave him cos this pattern has been something we saw over and over with him

• tommy not dressing up- again you can rationalise it but it’s a narrative choice and it’s glaring when contrasted with Eddie suggesting the duo costume

And if we had this scene with Taylor so many ppl would be saying that it’s once again showing that her and Buck’s personalities don’t align

• him being on standby for the wedding and bachelor party- again you can say oh buck invited him last minute or oh he couldn’t taken the day off (which lbr he could’ve he’s not the only firefighter pilot in la) - but again narrative choice

If it was Taylor everyone would’ve been like SEE? Again they’re showing the audience that her work is this looming presence in their relationship

Anyway I’m gonna shut up now cos this is A LOT

I’m so sorry it took me so long to respond tho and sending flowers in apology💐💐💐💐💐💐

Love ya for being so genuine when asking and hope all this didn’t come off too strong and that it was idk helpful?🫶🫶

I realise my response is abt to have toxic bt fans scurry to my inbox like rats to send hate and to that I say go fuck yourselves I’m responding to a question here

[dublinskeetz]

could you maybe do a fic (don’t worry if you can’t 🫶🏼) with eli or bobby maybe enemies to lovers and the person is the band’s photographer or is on keys 🤍🤍

𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞

hii ofc, i wasnt sure if u wanted a smau or written soo i sort of did both since the reader is their photographer, hope u like it!! this is my first tumblr fic so im still getting used to how to work the app lollll, sorry if u don't like it but pls give me ur thoughts so i can learn to improve JAJA

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 — 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘻 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘦𝘴

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 — 𝘧𝘭��𝘧𝘧, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵, 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘧, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺'𝘴 #1 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴

𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 — 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘻 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername dropping these flicks in honor of my fav boys (and bobby ig) letting me join them on tour to take cute pics of them 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

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joshjenkinson_ WOOO after months of begging

yourusername a little begging doesnt hurt when i have to spend months with devils spawn joshjenkinson_ bobby loves u dw bobbyskeetz why do you automatically think shes talking about me bobbyskeetz and i do not

bobbyskeetz so thrilled to have you.

inhalerfan1 wtf why is she always hating on bobby he does nothing wrong to her!!! how about you leave and like never speak to him again.🙄🙄

inhalerfan2 saying this doesnt make bobby want u any more! bobbyskeetz how about you leave her alone? ryanmcmahon_15 aw look at u protecting her

elijahhewson the crowd erupts in cheers

yourusername by crowd u mean u, josh, and ryan LMAFO elijahhewson and bobby he just wont admit it

inhalerfan300 something abt the boys getting their pics taken by a sexy woman makes them even sexier tbh

liked by elijahhewson, ryanmcmahon_15 and 30 others

inhalerfan11 fuc the guys I WANT U

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"say, cheese!"

your lens shuttering was heard throughout the tour bus, trying to take candid, but not candid at the same time, pictures of the boys. tour was great, amazing even. you felt at peace when taking pictures of the band in their natural element. whether it be on stage, at a pub, or even just at time when it was just one on one hangouts. except, for bobby

bobby skeetz, you didn't know what you had done to make the boy dislike you from the moment he laid eyes on you. maybe it was your personality, the possibility to get on with everyone around you, happiness radiating off of you. or perhaps it was one night stand you had with him 4 years ago. but you chose to pick the former as the reason.

it didn't matter what you tried, his anger, regret, or whatever he felt never seemed to ease.

despite telling them to smile, bobby still had a grim look on his face, clearly wanting to be anywhere else but in front of you. rolling your eyes, you lowered your camera, dismissing the guys from the lens.

as the boys one by one retreated to their own areas, bobby stuck sitting in front of you as you placed your equipment away. you could feel his eyes watching you as you worked, and you found he often did this. though you could never force yourself to look back up at him, knowing his eyes would probably be full of dislike.

"is there something you need robert," you asked him, getting closer and closer to being fed up with his acts.

"no, just thinking."

"of?"

"why we would need another photographer when we already had lewis."

rolling you eyes, why do i even bother, thinking to yourself.

hiding behind a door was josh, ryan, and eli, silently watching the two of you interact. "i bet you they get together by the end of the tour," ryan spoke.

"oh you are so on McMahhon."

"dunno, maybe you should ask your mates. you didn't seem to complain too much when they asked me, repeatedly," you argued.

there was a thick tension in the air, these petty fights between the two of you were normal at this point, and despite your attempts to be professional, his pettiness was starting to get to you.

in reality, you didn't mind bobby at all, in fact, you felt a pull towards him. but ever since that mistake, that for some reason he can't seem to forget, he has made his presence unbareable.

"why must you make everything so difficult," you sighed, frustration evident in your tone as you continued to pack away your equipment.

"i'm not the one making things difficult, thats your speciality, isn't it," he snapped back. there was a mix of annoyance and indifference in his expression as he starred at you. "or maybe its the fact that you love to pretend nothing happened."

"what the hell are you talking about," you spoke, your patience so close to breaking.

bobby scoffed, "oh please, you know exactly what i'm talking about. four years ago when you left me!"

there was a heavy silence between the two of you, could he seriously be holding onto the past for that long? was this really the reason why he hated you so much? you can admit, you have your regrets on the way those things played out, but what were you supposed to do? act like sleeping with him didn't hurt you in ways you didn't even know you could hurt? the way he easily uttered those words to you, this doesn't mean anything, does it? it pained you, so really, what were you supposed to do?

but you were never really good with your emotions, so frustration bubbled inside you, "fine, you want to hold onto the past? go ahead, keating. but don't act like i'm the only one at fault here."

your heated exchange echoed throughout the bus, leaving an uncomfortable silence. but meanwhile, the other three boys exchanged knowing looks.

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yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername tours almost ova so heres some flicks to prepare u for the drought

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elijahhewson pay up ryan

ryanmcmahon_15 ITS NOT OVER YET SHUT UP yourusername meaning?? elijahhewson NOTHING ryanmcmahon_15 NOTHING

inhalerfan11 NOOOO

inhalerfan23 god i have seen what u have done for others

trumanblack come take some flicks for us?

elijahhewson no joshjenkinson_ no bobbyskeetz shes all yours mate ryanmcmahon_15 rob shut up before i leak some information that i find very important. bobbyskeetz YOU WOULD NEVER joshjenkinson_15 TRY US bobbyskeetz JOSH NOT YOU TOO yourusername OIII all of u. out my comment section

inhalerdublin twas an honor having u with us, and for the rest of the tours!🤗🤗

inhalerdublin whos us? yourusername robert get out

inhalerfan100 why do i get the gut sense that her and bobby do not like each other?

inhaler203 i dont think so, i was at their last shows and he complete heart eyes for her liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_ inhaler203 RYAN JOSH WHAT DO U KNOW inhaler100 their my enemies to lovers trope

oliviarodrigo im going on tour soon babes if u need a job😉😉

yourusername omg.

inhaler45 im living for this comment section

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throughout the remaining of the tour, there was an uncomfortable tension between you and bobby, and with the last dates coming up, you weren't sure if you wanted to come back.

but then again, you were confused.

after your last blow with the bassist, there was a peace between the two of you, if thats what you could even call it. he no longer took every opportunity to be petty, in fact, you hadn't spoken a word to the man since.

but you saw the tweets, the comments, and even noticed the other three members of the band acting funny when the two of you were in close proximity. the possible thought that bobby felt anything to you besides utter dislike, felt impossible.

the group of you were lounging around before the boys had to go onstage, and you could still feel bobby's eyes piercing at you from behind. despite the other's chatter, there was still an underlying discomfort from the two of you. his gaze lingered on you, and looking back towards him, you noticed there was a mixture of frustration and something else.

attempting to break the silence, you sighed in defeat, "what's wrong with you now, rob?"

there was a moment of hesitation on his part, jaw clenching, "it's nothing," he muttered, but his tone said otherwise.

"doesn't seem like it," you countered. you were tired of fighting with him, you just wanted peace for the remainder of the tour. "look, tour is almost over and can we at least try to-"

but he interrupted you before you could even finish, "try to what? pretend like everything is okay," his voice laced with bitterness, "like nothing happened?"

you sighed in defeat, feeling an oncoming argument brewing, "you cannot keep dwelling on the past rob," you pleaded, trying to keep your voice steady, "what happened was a mistake, for you," you emphasized, "and for me."

"a mistake," he scoffed, "you're acting like it meant nothing, like i meant nothing."

there was a clear tone of hurt and resentment in his voice, his words cutting deeper than you could've imagined, "that is not fair rob," you whispered, looking away from his eyes. trying to avoid his gaze, you noticed the room had cleared, the three boys' chatter no longer being background noise to your conversation.

those little shits.

bobby noticed your avoidance, "you just left, without a word," he continued, his voice filled with an ache that mirrored your own. "do you have any idea how much that hurt?"

the weight of his accusations hung heavily in the air, did he really have no idea of how much he hurt you too? how much you look back to that night and wish things were normal between the two of you.

"it wasn't easy for me either," you confessed, voice barley audible. "but what did you expect me to do? especially after what you said."

the atmosphere became thick with emotion, your unsaid words confusing him.

"what are you going on about?"

"really? 'this doesn't mean anything'," you scoffed, your hidden emotions rising to the surface, "do you know how heartbreaking those four words were? god, do you know how many nights i spent thinking about that. then here you come accusing me of being at fault."

his eyes softened at your confession, "i didn't know. you never said."

"i thought you knew," you cut him off, "i shouldn't have to tell you how harmful your words were."

"i didn't know," he spoke softly, getting up and standing in front of you, looking down at you into your eyes, "you could've told me. i would have been there for you.

"and what would have you done? hm?" you quipped as you looked away, anger and ache still inside your tone.

he softly grabbed your chin for you to look back up at him, "i would've told you how stupid i was, how scared. you have no idea how afraid i was of it ruining everything, and look at us now, look at what it's done to us. look at what my stupidity has done to us. i would've been there for you, through everything because i love you."

your breath hitched, utter surprise written all over your face, a small smile beginning to spread across your face, "i love you, and you aren't stupid. its just your pettiness," you spoke, trying to make the conversation lighter.

"oi, you're one to talk woman," he laughed, cupping your cheek to pull you into a kiss.

and as if it was right out of a corny soap opera, you heard a cheery whistle from the side of you. turning you were met with those three little shits with grins on their faces, well except eli, who looked completely defeated.

"as much as i am happy for the two of you coming to your senses," ryan began, turning to eli, "pay up, hewson."

eli groaned in frustration, pulling out cash from his pocket and placing it onto the ryan and josh's outstretched palms.

"you shits placed a bet on us?" bobby questioned.

"was an easy bet, after you drunkenly confessed your love to me a few nights before tour," josh explained to you two.

bobby's cheeks heated up, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. "is that what your silly comments on my posts meant?" you asked the trio.

"uh, look at the time! c'mon keating, time to perform!"

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yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername that one AM lyric about looks of love or smth

view all 4930 comments

inhalerfan43 OHMYGODAD

inhalerfan111 THE HARDLAUNCH IM DYIGNAKE

bobbyskeetz this damaging my rep woman

yourusername k bobbyskeetz haha i was just kidding bobbyskeetz i love you elijahhewson robert keating has emotions??

inhalerfan23 ive lost the love of my life to a guy who plays bass...

yourusername he's dorky ways and sassiness has captivated me bobbyskeetz HEY

ryanmcmahon_15 WAR IS OVERRRR

inhalerfan2 hes one of us fr yourusername dont think i've forgotten abt ur little bet dipshit ryanmcmahon_15 uh.... liked by joshjenkinson_, elijahhewson and 80 others

bobbyskeetz my woman

yourusername ur so babygirl i love u

bobbyskeetz THE LOOK OF LOVE THE RUSH OF BLOOD, THE SHES WITH MES

joshjenkinson_ this was so worth him talking my ear off about u

bobbyskeetz OI

inhalerfan432 HIS LOVE STARE IN THE LAST PIC IM SOBBING

inhalerfan00 im soooo normal abt them ahhahahahahahah

inhalerfan12 shes one of us fr

yourusername oh fs inhalerfan12 HI MOTHER

▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁

THE END

omg sooo lmk if u guys enjoyed this? pls i haven't written in so long so sorry it took be a bit to release this

also if theres any error in the format or anything i apologize cause im still getting used to writing on tumblr

lots of loveeeee <333

[blabberoo]

"Are you..drunk..?"

He couldn't even talk right, his hands forming in half phrases to half words (is he even talking?), then finally resolving to a 'no'.

Drifter sighed, pinching his nose bridge between his fingers. "Goddamn it. How is that even possible."

He grabbed the corpse by the arm and dragging it over his shoulder, supporting the rest of him by the waist. The beheaded was thrashing at first, attempting to get off of Drifter's grip, yet was quick to give up when sudden motions was too much for his... flame? Letting most of his weight fall over the smaller person, to which he couldn't do anything but to grumble under his breath.

Thankfully, the base wasn't too far. It took a few walks to the door and onto the bed where Drifter plopped Bobby like a carcass (well he is.)

As he stood up and was about to walk away, the beheaded grabbed him by the cloak in a state of panic. This, of course, caught Drifter's attention, simply at stasis and looking at him as if to wait for a reason. Why did he stopped him? Why did it hurt to see him go? Why the hell does his head hurt..

His eye blinked weakly, tried to muster up the energy to speak.

"Vomit." he signed.

"Oh, shit. Wait! Hold on—" It took three second for Drifter to find a basin a bring it to Bobby, just in time for him to let it all out. Seriously, how is this possible?

Though he was able to have a slight sigh of relief he wasnt able to get the mess on the bed, that's one less thing to worry about.

"Sit up. I'm gonna have clean you."

It took him a bit slow but he followed without retaliation, possibly too sick to do so. Drifter walked away to the bathroom and returned with a new basin and towel. He begin cleaning whereever the mess got him, along his hands and to his arms. Although there's not much he could do with his clothes but to wipe off what he could, it's not like he'd be comfortable enough to change his clothes. He'll have to take care of thet himself when he's more sober.

"Lord Jackal, why do I put up with you." He muttered under his breath, moreso to himself.

However, that might have caught up Bobby's attention,as he raised his hands to sign.

"Why do you?"

Drifter's gaze caught his at the sudden movement, although his eye were still unfocused, perhaps by the lingering influence of alcohol.

"People— They always look out for me because I could somehow save them from their problems. No matter how many times I've shown them I couldn't— Don't want to! Because even if I did, I will still screw it up— time and time again— ALWAYS! But everything ends the same. Everything ends. And I'm still—"

He pauses, and his hands flopped over his lap. His head lowers and shoulder slacked. He had never been like this before. Quiet. Tired.

Of course, Drifter was the same. He approached him for the same reason, and yet it hasn't crossed his mind the fact that he had gone through this a lot. And he was adding up to that.

"Do you want to cut the deal?" He intended to make it sound neutral, though his remourse came out of his soft tone.

Bobby took a moment to register it, flame still swaying through the influence.

"I don't know. I just—"

God. It hurts to think. He felt like everything around him is swallowing him whole.

"I'm tired of people leaving. I just don't want—"

He hasn't blurted out like this in a long while, maybe never. And the guts of this dead body seemed to sprung alive only to churn in pain. Its all too much. He closed his eye and let his heavy toll rest upon Drifter's shoulder. Soft flames prickling the crook of his neck.

I don't want to be alone.

He felt arms wrap around him, a palm brushing along his back in a comforting rhythm. His mind focused on these sensation, and for a moment he could feel himself grounded under Drifter's touch. It felt like he could breath again, and for the first time, felt like he mattered to someone.

This simple moment alone could stay with him for eternity. And if that were the case, perhaps he can indulge himself in it.

Tomorrow— he can pretend to forget.

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

911, a confession

Let me start by saying that I don't really know what I'm doing here, so bear with me. If I actually go through with posting this, and you find yourself tagged and wondering who I am and why, or even if you happen upon it in the tags, I hope you take a minute to read this.

You don't know me, but you've been my community for a while now. I've checked your blogs daily for years, I've read your posts and loved your art and sent you countless anonymous asks to pick your brains- never hate though, because I'm not a Freak.

What I am, however, is a lonely lesbian with depression and (newly diagnosed) OCD, who has always needed some hyperfixation media/fandom to find life bearable. For some ~fun context, I was Raised by the glee fandom, I will die on the hill that watching queer as folk when I was 14 and discovering its fans 10+ years after airing made me who I am, I've got the most bizarrely timed stint in the 1D fandom under my belt, and I find nothing in the world more interesting and also affirming than Queer Reading (verb) media- to the extent that I earned an English degree and wrote a thesis specifically about it.

I haven't posted on here in 1.5 years, since I fell out of my previous fandom (apologies to anyone from said fandom who still happens to follow me and is seeing this, feel free to move along.) But I've been on this app every day since, because of 911.

(starting the read more here to spare you- again especially if you are tagged, I know you're probably feeling miserable rn but I do hope the entirety of this love letter reaches you)

I started "watching" mid season 5- by which I mean I was in a deep depressive state after disconnecting with previous media hyperfixation and, when I happened upon 911 trending while in need of distraction, I quickly fell down a rabbit hole. Tale as old as time, tumblr dot com convinces you that you need to tune into *insert media here* bc its fun and there are gay people! I caught myself up through all the big blogs and by the time May Day was airing I felt like I had a decent grasp on all the lore, all the fandom drama, all the places the writers were "definitely, so brilliantly" going to be taking the show that we had to look forward to, all without ever having actually seen an episode of the show (before you boo me, yes I've watched it by now, even season 1)

But I think it is important, and also a little messed up, that I fell in love with 911 through YOU, through the fans. Obviously watching the show initially through the lens of fan reactions first and not whats actually happening on screen can have some... interesting results. We've heard it all before, with the people who started watching specifically for Buddie around season 4/5 because they saw The Will and by the time they caught themselves up and watched the end of season 6 they wanted their refunds.

Here is where I want to make a clarification- the reason I got so interested, why I started coming back every day to check in on tags and certain favorite blogs I didn't even follow bc I was denying the want to become fully Involved, was because I fell in love with Evan Buckley. I won't lie, it was Buddie that caught my attention first- of course, thats what everyone here was talking about- and as much as I quickly started discover the value of the show outside of them (Henren my absolute Beloveds!!!!! Captain Dad Bobby Nash you are so special to ME. Chimney man of all time i can keep going) none of it was enough initially to bite the bullet and catch up on 5 seasons worth of a show I also knew would have elements I WASNT interested in (Copaganda and Taylor Kelly I am looking at you.)

But then I started really getting into fan's readings of Buck *insert footage of me learning the Buck Begins of it all for the first time* as a character separate from Eddie (as much as people were capable of anyway, and I will say some of yall continue to be absolutely atrocious at it) and I knew I was done for. Buck, this character so full of goodness, and his need to be Found but to also Find his own family and purpose and sense of self, for whom the show's thesis statement concerns the act of working to Make the kind of Love you want to have in this world, even if you were raised without a blueprint for it- I'm sorry but what else were me and my gay ass queer reading inclined hyperfixated brain to do other than take Evan Buckley into the folds and never let him go?

I love Buck. I was convinced by the time the s5 finale was airing before I had actually watched the show that Buck had to be bi. Even if they never did a thing with it you couldn't convince me otherwise and I was also confident that Oliver was portraying him with a similar mindset. I never wavered in that interpretation, even when the utter disappointment of the s6 finale and the failure to do anything truly meaningful character development wise through the lightning strike-Natalia speed run hit, and certainly not as I got fully caught up actually watching the show outside of tumblr live reactions during episode airings. I'll admit I was pretty ready to Check Out after the end of season 6, to the point where I hardly checked in on fandom at all going into 7 until the rumblings of possible canon Bi Buck reached me and I doubled back like "hold on, for real this time?" But when I say Check Out, I mean I was ready to walk away from the hyperfixation with a joint lack of satisfaction with canon & firm conviction that Buck was queer.

Things with Eddie are a lil different- and I want to try and keep this bit brief bc this is ultimately a post about Buck and Bucktommy and I have no interest in unsettling those of you who may have a queer reading connection to Eddie as real as the one I feel for Buck, but unfortunately this conversation cannot exist separately from the Eddie/Buddie of it all- I personally don't think Eddie is queer. I don't really think I ever did, even when I was in the thick of it with falling for Buddie. I know me saying this would cause certain audience to pelt me with accusations of fetishizing Buck or treating Eddie as nothing more than a vehicle for Queer Buck via Buddie- false! I actually think Eddie is an incredibly fascinating character, a deeply compelling representation of grief and fatherhood and masculinity, and also a hilariously weird lil bitch guy. I just don't feel like- especially having removed fanon glasses while actually starting to watch the show, and taking the time to acknowledge that the things about Buddie that appealed to me on a romantic level (this is NOT about their friendship which i stand by being beautiful and important) all boiled down elements I was reading within and onto BUCK specifically, not Eddie. Perhaps an impossible concept for some, the idea that Bi Buck could feel so real and apparent to me primarily divorced from the idea that Eddie had to be queer as well, but I won't bore you with my explanations for it, though I suspect the people tagged and still reading by this point know exactly what I am talking about.

All of this potentially obnoxious prologue to say, I've spent the last however many months falling in love with canon Bi Buck *insert footage of me speed running back into my daily fandom involvement/blog check ins the moment I knew Buck kissed a man*, with Bucktommy, and with Bucktommy fans.

For a long while there I had resigned myself to an odd, though perhaps not as unique as I thought, reality of loving and fully believing in Queer Buck, not necessarily feeling the same about Eddie or Buddie, but also in full agreement with many that already 6 seasons in with literally nothing else having remotely worked, Buddie would be the only satisfying conclusion for Buck's love story. This is again not exactly how I felt about Eddie- but a big part of that for me is that I don't think Eddie's primarily story in 911 is a love story. He's the vessel for telling other important, beautiful stories about fatherhood and forgiveness and that is OKAY bc not every characters story is a love story!!! Evan Buckley's is though (Despite some very weird and confusing things mr stark has just said about his character that actively contradict what hes previously said and what audiences have been looking at and for this entire time, but I digress)

But then! By whatever happy accident we want to call it 911 had Tommy Kinard fall back into its lap as the solution to what felt like the impossible: They found the ONE way they could introduce a non Eddie Diaz love interest for Buck that COULD be satisfying for Bucks story. Someone with connections to the 118 and the shows history and potential for further development within main storylines as his job directly pertains to their plots. Someone with such compelling connections for interweaving these two characters that it got us- including the showrunner- talking about the Red String of Fate. That it got some of the beloved tumblr pals I had been watching for years, who NEVER would have believed they'd ever root for a Buck endgame that wasnt Buddie doing exactly that, and with joy, love, and conviction. Again I'll ask, what else were me and my Buck loving brain to do but take Bucktommy into the folds and never let go? (apparently I hadn't considered that there was apparently horrifying alternative- more on that next!)

As you all damn well know, falling in love with Bucktommy has not come without its trails. I have never seen things in fandom as vile as the things I've seen go down here. And as I mentioned before, I've been IN IT with yall for a while, even if you didnt know it. I was here, lurking, and I know this fandom has had its highlight reels of racism and misogyny and harassment (despite certain factions current batshit consensus that things were "never bad" before *gasp* a couple of people, some over the ancient age *double gasp* of 30 heard about bucktommy through tumblr the same damn way the 90% of you who havent been watching since season 1 heard about buddie and decided to invest)

What happened tonight made me cry, for about 40 minutes straight. And yeah, its been a devastating week for us all for a lot of reasons. On top of the ~national dread (I'm a lesbian in the US btw) today was my 7th out of 9 straight days of open to close shifts in a demanding retail/management position, and I have a head cold so maybe this was just a Breaking Point after a whole lotta shit.

But also, maybe, it was really fucking shitty to watch this play out. I've already seen countless people say it better than I could. Yeah, its a tv show. It's a fictional ship. But its also escapism, a spot of joy many of us were extra dependent on this week. It was something GOOD, queer representation and a love story on national tv days after a horrifying reality set in for queer people, and we are allowed to acknowledge how much losing that sucks just on a general level for a second...

Second over, now lets talk not on the general level. Lets talk about how I've watched real human beings get harassed, sent death threats, be told they are faking cancer and failing to properly grieve dead loved ones, I've watched deeply homphobic language be adopted and incorporated into everyday use despite constant correction and pleas from queer men to knock it the hell off, I've watched homophia as a whole run rampant and unchecked by big blogs, with some biphobia to boot, I've seen some images of horrific anti gay violence and historical trauma invoked as a way to make fun of others, I've seen lesbianism slandered and proffered as an excuse for such vile behavior in a disgusting erasure of the beautiful solidarity that has historically existed between gay men and lesbians in the face of homophobia, and yes, I've seen graphic descriptions of child rape via targeted fanfiction attacks.

Again, others have already said it better than I can: This isn't about Bucktommy. It's about the way that everyone who was Pulling for them as a couple, who DARED to *checks scribble on hand* enjoy a canon queer mlm couple featuring a character (or two) they've grown to care deeply for, has been subjected to all the above mentioned and more, and for...what. For. What.

In the name of a fanon couple that has not been legitimized by the writers in 7 years? of a fanon character interpretation of a canonically straight man (not just assumed straight, verbally assigned straight now on multiple occasions) that people cannot fathom perceiving this show, let alone liking these characters, without? For the version of this story that, if the writers REALLY wanted to happen could have happened so many fucking times by now- especially when the show was coming to what might have been its end in s6- and still hasn't? A version that has been dismissed multiple times by the writers cast crew and every other unfortunate individual who has been harassed repeatedly about it?

And I'm not here to say Buddie is inherently bad!!!! It brought me into this same as the rest of you. I don't even believe it would necessarily be a bad or wrong conclusion for either character or the show were it to eventually, finally happen!! But for the love of god, hear me when i say from the outsider pov of someone who has experience the show in the way I did first through fandom then stepping back to watch for real and now watching it with my mother who is a near Exact representation of the general audience of this show (experienced Procedural watcher, no idea about Buddie or fandom interpretation, had no sense of gay eddie to speak of, and is not shocked but pleasantly surprised by and endeared by Bi Buck) you are SEVERELY deluded if you think what happened tonight by breaking up Bucktommy "makes sense" to any audience outside of buddies who've been writing manifestos for years about how every single thing in this show is "carefully, intentionally, clearly" leading to Buddie canon. I swear to you the people at home do not fucking see it. The people at home saw Buck in a nice, developing relationship that finally seemed to be going somewhere real for him after discovering an important part of his identity late in life, and then they saw that relationship abruptly ended and Buck heartbroken, going to sit with his best, still straight, bud Eddie Diaz. The ONLY people this makes sense for are the people who I am afraid it seems may have legimately bullied this into happening.

And if that is the case? We are sooo far fucking past the point of no return here. There is no true satisfaction in a Buddie canon endgame here for anyone who's lived through the past half a year in this fandom unless you were a perpetrator of any of the horrific shit mentioned above. I mean that with my whole fucking chest. If, and i do think it is a Big Fucking Fat if, Buddie does happen, and you find yourself no qualms happy and satisfied with it as your well earned endgame, I hope you know how rotted you are. And while I'm at it, I hope some way some how you come to see that this was not the carefully crafted beautifully developed loved story of all time you were gods bravest soldier in waiting for. Its just what left after years of meandering storytelling and cyclical character "development" with a bow slapped on top at the last moment because the gift giver was afraid you might kill them if they presented less.

Anyway. I said a million words ago that this was a love letter, and I do mean that. As much as its also been an mental health exercise for me to write this all out. So,

@kinardbuckleys @bucksboobs @kirkaut @tevankinkley @userautumn @sunglassesmish @tommyscurls @ohithankyou @buckxtommy @princessfbi @bigfootsmom @firewasabeast

(And so many other people I'm surely forgetting, and the few artists and writters on other platforms I dared to venture to- maybe never opening twitter again after this xoxo)

Thank you. You don't know me, I never quite got over the anxiety of trying to re-enter a fandom space after a time away, or maybe some of the imposter syndrome or embarrassment I felt accidentally falling in love with this show and Buck by just watching you all talk about him before anything else. But for the last few months, some of you years, you've been my community, my escape. I've loved watching your brains and your hearts work to discuss and create, even amidst the absolute shittiest fandom behavior Ive ever seen. And I am as grateful for getting to experience it from a far as I am devastated at the thought of losing it, of not individually typing in all your blog names (I was too anxious to even FOLLOW you guys truly rip) to see what new content or spec or art or love you had to share about Buck / Bucktommy every day.

In another life- one where idk perhaps people were kinder or showrunners weren't bullied and actors weren't dropped last minute after months of torment and a satisfying canon queer love story for a character who genuinely needs it could just Be in peace- I would have loved to one day put on my big girl pants (aka saved Buck url) joined the fandom for real. To have directly talked to any of you in a way that wasnt... this.

I would have loved to love Bucktommy with you.

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip

[shelbgrey]

Gabriel Being your guardian angel and falling in love with you

Paring: Gabriel x Singer!Reader

Summary: the only thing gabe has ever tooken seriously is keeping you safe, but what he didn't expect is falling in love with you. -SMUT warning

🧡MasterList 🧡ML2 🧡Dating Moodboard

When he found out he didn't really care. Michael and Lucifer were desened to inhabit the Winchesters bodies and he got the boring job of being Bobby Singer's Nieces.

But it's the first and almost only thing he has ever taken seriously. He was the trickster after all and it was mostly deadly jokes to him, but when he saw you he immediately took the role of guardian angel seriously.

You didn't have an encounter intill years. You were an adult and a hunter. Your first case involving him, he was just known as the trickster. He left you untouched but screwed with Sam and Dean.

That pattern continued when with the mystery spot Fiasco. Gabe knew how much you cared for Dean so he didn't put you in the time loop with Sam.

He didn't bring Dean back till you asked.

During his TV land joke he purposely put you and the boys in shows you liked. Like Dr. Sex MD was based off Greys anatomy(a show you liked).

“it's him! It's Dr. Sexy” Dean said excided.

“McDreamy trumps Dr. Sexy” you said, rolling your eyes.

After you got out of TV land, you confronted him while he was in the holy fire.

“I'm always left untoched during your practical jokes, why is that?”

he just chuckled, crossing his arms. 'Dammit.' He thought, he couldnt get a rise out of you. It was time to see his more sincere side. “What? You dont think the big bad "Trickster" has a soft spot?”

His sarcasm to drop. He wanted you to know the real reason but was he supposed to be like "oh. I'm your angel. I dont like putting you in harms way when I can control it?"

“I don't know... Do you have a soft spot?”

For some reason you felt some kinda connection. You never looked into his eyes until this point, there was this feeling of safety you felt. Heck, looking back you never felt threatened by him. He was good at being your guardian angel.

“Not usually. But for you? Maybe a little” He just grinned and winked. He did have a soft spot for you and he felt a sense of overprotectiveness over you. he has to deal with you being in constant danger and being a hunter doesnt help.

“Why?” you looked down at the holy fire he was trapped on. “you ain't going anywhere any time soon... Might as well awnser”

“I'm your guardian angel, baby” he smirked, his his eye brows bouncing up and down like it was some big spectacle he just revealed.

“wow... I thought guardian angels was just bullshit”

He nodded, his normal goofy and sarcastic tone dropping to more sincere and gentle. He also hated that you picked up on the sarcasm quickly. “Yep. Most are. They are assigned randomly. But well, I was your guardian the second you were born... Now let me out- I dont like being in a holy fire” He teased, a smile creeping back on his face.

You chuckled sarcastically. “you think I'm just gonna let you out just like that? You're still the trickster”

“Pretty please?” He smirked and gave you an innocent look with wide puppy dog eyes. He knew he was playing dirty but hey, it's the only way he was getting out.

“Pretty please? Seriously?”

“Pretty. Please” He said the words slow and with exaggerated hand motions. He was pushing his luck now.

“If I do, you have to lay low for a while... No more tricks”

“For how long?” He groaned at the idea. He has been playing tricks on people for centuries. So he wasnt very keen to stop. But it was you. That's the only reason he would do it. Not that hes even admitted that to himself yet.

“Until I say so”

He groaned. “Fine. Fine”

You paid mercy on him and convinced the brothers to let him go. You also didn't speak to sam or Dean about him being your guardian angel.

After that he wouldn't leave you alone. It annoyed the hell out of the boys but you brushed it off.

“Gooooodd Morning miss. Y/n Singer. It's a beautiful day in Lawrence Kansas. The weather is gonna be sunny and dry. But better get ready because the forecast predicts a pesky Windego on the loose. I'm your host Gabriel the Trickster”

You groaned, rolling over on your stomach and hiding your head under your pillow to drown out the noises. This happened for weeks, he'd use his tricks to tap into your alarm and annoy you. Every morning.

“And now for music time! Because everyone loves moooousic!!” He spoke the last word, the music switched to Rick Astleys 'never gonna give you up'. Just another stupid prank to piss you off, because he was in denial about his growing feelings.

Guardian angels aren't supposed to fall in love with their person. It was just the rules.

Then again when did gabe ever follow the rules.

After yours and Dean's failed atempt at a relationship gabe flew in. It started off casual. You slept together once or twice but Never confermed anything.

Not wanting that in a relationship you told him how you felt. “everyday I'd wake up to your stupid music and your stupid voice. I feel in love deeper and deeper with you”

You kept it on the down low afraid of how the boys would react.

The boys didn't find out about you guys dating or the fact he was still alive until the boys walked in you guys fucking in the library in the bunker. They had gone on a hunt and you thought it was gonna be days before they came back, oh boy were you wrong. Gabe has no shame, he was balls deep inside you and had you seeing stars when the brothers walked back into the bunker because they forgot something.

“How long have you been alive!?” Sam asks, exasperated.

“How long have you been banging y/n?” Dean grumbles, with jealousy in his eyes.

The first time you watched him died hurt worse than any wound you got on the job. He lied there lifeless after saving you from Lucifer. The boys didn't know how to comfort you. It felt like part of you was missing.

He stayed 'dead' to keep you safe.

Then you found out Asmodeus had captured and torchored him, you were beyond furious. Gabe was beyond scared when he was in the bunker but he trusted you. It was your turn to protect him.

You were the one to convince him to take his grace and heal himself. “I need you gabe, I can't lose you again”

He took his grace then looked at you. “I love you...” that was the first time he ever said that.

He didn't leave your side after that and even helped you look after Jack who you took under your wing. He took the role of an uncle oddly seriously.

Then came your time in purgatory. You were determined to get jack back and Gabe wasn't gonna let you go alone. He loved you and by the laws of heaven he had no choice.

He never left your side during your time in purgatory. It angered Dean and Sam but Gabe could care less, you were his girl.

During that time Lucifer teased the both of you. It infuriated Gabe and he did his best to keep distance between the both of you. “lay one hand on her it'll be the last thing you ever do”

During the cold nights you lied awake next to gabe wrapped in his leather jacket.

When it was time for you to leave gabe didn't make it back. And he was gone for real this time. It took all Sam's power to pull you back as you screamed and cried his name. “Gabriel!”

While everyone celebrated their return home you stayed in your room in the bunker crying in his leather jacket he left with you.

The pockets of the jacket were filled with candy wrappers. you never took them out.

After he died your post hunt injuries hurt worse and they were more often. That proved gabe did his job well.

Dean nor Sam didn't know how to help you. He comforted you when you cried but Castile was the only one that willingly talked to you about it.

“he really did love you... In fact him being your guardian angel was the only thing he ever took seriously.”

NSFW headcanons:

He loves missionary, keeping eye contact while he fucks you. He loves how you dig your nails into his back and wrap your legs around his waist to bring him impossibly closer.

If he's had a rough day, he either needs one of two things. A rough fuck or he needs to curl up beside you and rest his head on your chest while you play with his hair.

He's not very vocal during sex. He mostly moan or grunt, but he's never not praising you. If your giving him head or ridding him he's a complete moaning mess though.

He's a boob guy. He'll bury his face into your boobs as he pounds into you. He loves it when you start moaning and tugging at his hair, He honestly can’t get enough.

Cock warming and usually he's a little shit about, conveniently gets in the mood for it during move night with the Winchesters and Cas. Usually it's dark and you're both under a blanket together in the back in the Dean cave. “Gotta be still for me. Can you do that?” He murmured, making your pajama bottoms disappear with a quiet snap of his fingers. You'll have to bite your lip to keep quiet as he helps you sink down on his cock while he litters your neck with kisses.

It'll be hard to keep your mind off the feeling of his hard cock inside you and not the movie you were supposed to be watching. Don't even try to roll your hips, Gabriel will stop it immediately by giving your hips a warning squeeze. “the movie is almost over, just a little longer Sugar”

He always wraps your legs around his waist so he can go faster and harder,hitting your g-spot every thrust, keeping control of every movement.

He loves the feeling of you wrapped around his cock. It's like a vice, and loud moans escaping your lips is just icying on the cake.

He has a huge wing kink, the feeling of your fingers running through his feather or gripping them is a feeling he'll never get tired of. Sometimes he'll thrust into harder because he knows you first thing you'll grab to ground yourself is his wings.

 The way your small hands grip his feathers hard, especially at the base of his back will have him losimg all common sense.

He'll lift himself up on his knees with you still wrapped around him and pound into you. This new position helps him sink deeper as he jerks your hips down as his spring forward.

When his tongue enters your mouth, you didn’t even try to fight for dominance, you never have a problem with him taking the lead.

He'll lap at your clit with so much hunger, circling his tounge over your swollen bud until you're a moaning mess. When he thinks he's teased you enough he'll take it into his mouth, eating you out like a starving man until you're cumming hard on his tongue.

Gabe doesn't let you off easily either, He'll have his arm over your pelvic bone keeping you on the bed bed and overstimulating with his tongue till you're begging. “G-gabe...t-too much, P-please”

“I’m sorry, sugar. You’re too damn sweet” he sat up, his face slick from your release.

[camryntheking]

Ok! My thoughts on 7x05!

First, i just wanna say that the whole Hen and Karen storyline is awesome! I love that the show is giving queer people so much screen time, especially a Black lesbian couple! And i think its super sweet that they really want to try for Mara! I hope it works out!

Next, i think that has been my favorite cold open so far. The “ITS MEEE” gets me every time (i have already watched it loads of times). I dont have much to comment on it other than it was funny as fuck

Ok. The date scene. I was hoping to see more of Eddie watching them (especially after the stills), but oh well. The second-hand embarrassment i got was… a lot. But i dont think its necessarily a bad thing. It showed how out of his comfort zone Buck was and how he was trying to navigate a terrifying situation. And Tommy? I might have to retract my earlier retraction. Cos wtf?? Literally had just finished talking about how its hard to accept yourself in a “macho” field, then makes a dig at Buck when he fumbles? Not cool. Then not communicating what was happening until he was getting in the Uber? You dont just abandon someone at a restaurant like that. I understand the “you’re not ready” thing, but that was a dick move.

Also, Buck, baby. Sweetheart. Darling. “I look at hot guys’ asses.” Sweetie. Like Maddie said. You are more than an ally lmao. I also just love how Maddie showed interest in getting to know who Buck was talking about and treating the convo after like a normal convo. Because it is! And i love it! But she also emphasized talking to Eddie, because she knew that Eddie would not react poorly. I feel like that just shows how everyone knows how close Buck and Eddie are. TLDR, Maddie is an awesome sister and Buck is lucky to have her ❤️

Next point, the scene where Buck and Tommy talk over coffee. I do think that the hand holding at the end is very sweet and shows how Buck is really trying to be more open, but Tommy is just really starting to rub me the wrong way. Pretty much everything he said contradicts what happened in the date scene. I feel like him being at the wedding is really gonna spark some Jealous Eddie, tho, so i am excited to see that lmao

And Eddie and Marisol? I feel like the show is going in a direction that leads them to breaking up. Like yes, it is showing growth for Eddie and allowed him to acknowledge that he has Catholic guilt, but theres just. No chemistry. It feels awkward. I feel like her being an ex-nun is gonna bring up some issues with Buck and Eddie will not stand for that. I also wanted to point out that i got even more vibes that Eddie could be demisexual, cos he didnt straight up say that he loved Shannon, just that he loved being married to her. And he knows that he is moving too fast and needs to step back a bit

Finally, Buck coming out to Eddie. I do find it funny that Eddie seemed more shocked that Tommy wasnt straight than figuring out Buck isnt straight. But its awesome that Eddie showed interest and genuinely wanted to help Buck through the issue. And the hug? Finally! Give me men not being afraid to hug each other! I feel like this is allowing Buck and Eddie to become even closer (i do hope for Buddie eventually)

Overall, i feel like this episode was great for setting up the development of Buck and Eddie’s relationship (whether it ends up being platonic or romantic). And i am all for Buck exploring his sexuality with someone that isnt Eddie. While Tommy isnt my favorite right now, i do think that he is great for the progression of Buck’s story. I do hope to see more of Dad!Bobby in the coming episodes and how Buck’s parents might react to Tommy. I dont wanna wait three weeks for the next episode 😢. Im ready for the chaos of the Madney wedding

If i think of anything else ill add on, but i think thats all i have for now. Feel free to share your thoughts!

[iamthejam]

i need to rant about sam right quick.... more specifically the whole demon blood era cause OH MY GOSH.

 sam thought he was doing the right thing yet everything warned him against it: dean, bobby, catiel, angels, HIMSELF, yet his mindset was if he kept a level head he could keep going, but how can you tell if youre going insane?? youre not gonna be like "hey myself, yeah this is totally wrong." sam knew he was helping people. HOW could you stop helping people, doing your job??? he had so much trust in ruby, which saddens me HOW much trust. dean was dead. he wasnt coming back. how is sam supposed to cope with that normally?? the only person he loved more than anything, the person he'd been through everything with, the person that was the thing only grounding him in the insane life they live in. with that gone how are you supposed to go on? well after doing quite literally everything he thought of trying to get dean back, he had no hope. but he needed something to take the place of dean, which ruby had taken the chance in sams weakened state and slipped in. now tell me how sam wasnt going to trust her?? he was blinded, to everything. he did the one thing he knew to do: save people. when someone tells you can save more people, wouldnt you take the opportunity?? sam did.

like i said earlier, he was blinded, so he really couldnt see he was slowly turning himself into something he promised himself he wouldnt, all he saw was the people he saved. when dean finally came back he didnt stop, i mean why would he? he kept going, and going and going, at this point he had almost completely lost himself. it didnt matter that he had dean, he had already come to reality that dean was gone.

now DONT GET ME STARTED ON DEAN FINDING OUT. how could dean not freak? now its deans turn to come to reality: his little brother is addicted to demon blood. what? his sammy?? no, no his sammy wouldnt do that... right? i mean he would see that ruby is no good. right? he would see past the people he was saving and know he was turning himself into a freak. right!?! no. it wasnt his sam. now what is dean supposed to do? it obviously wasnt his brother, his brother wouldnt do that.

so he and bobby did what they thought was the best attempt to help him: cage him. like a violent animal, which was what sam was slowly becoming. 

now if you think that was hard for dean to do, think about sam. sam was being thrown into a panic room because his family thought he was a freak. he was helping people why couldnt they see that? and why couldnt sam see he was losing himself? everybody thought they knew what was best. they thought was right. 

i just cant see. how are you supposed to cage your brother without even talking? how are you supposed to think drinking demon blood was for the greater? i cant see a right here.

when sam was in the bunker room the demon blood threw the last punches it could. it made sam hallucinate, it made him think mary was on his side, that dean and bobby were only scared of his power, it made his younger self talk him down, it made dean say nasty things. it threw him around the room like a rag doll. it made him believe allister was torturing him in the worst ways possible. all this happened as he screamed and screamed; no one came. the people he loved left him to die it felt like.

so when he got free why wouldnt he run as far as he could? as far away from bobby and dean as he could get, mentally and physically.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

future friends 1/2

james 'logan' howlett

+++++++++

part two

shes not edited so sorry in advance lol

im mad i cant write whump for this man so have some angst instead. because if we cant help heal outside wounds maybe we can help heal inside wounds

song: i lie to me by as it is

+++++++++

i sat across from rogue as we ate our lunch, quietly munching to myself. neither of us had spoken yet but she knew i always needed a minute when getting together with someone. it was the nature of my powers. i could see everyone's past just from being near them and though hers wasnt as hard to watch as some others she understood it was exhausting. she made that mistake once, touching me to experience it for just a moment. she ended up crying hysterically and i felt so bad because i couldnt even hug her to console her.

"Hey have you gotten a chance to talk to Logan yet?"

I raised a brow as I looked over at her, her pulling me out of my thoughts.

"You know the professor told me not to."

She nodded a few times, popping a grape into her mouth.

"And why are we still listening?"

She questioned and I laughed, wiping my mouth on my napkin.

"He said that I need to keep my distance until he finds his place here. You know we aren't supposed to use our powers on each other."

She looked at me with a stupid look on her face.

"Is it really using your power on him if you can't help it?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I've already read him. Every time he gets close actually. Every class I have with him. His life flashes before my eyes and I have to pretend I don't know everything about him."

She frowned and ate another grape.

"Logan deserves to know about his past. And you're the only one that can give that to him now that jean and the professor are dead."

I sighed and looked down at my half eaten sandwich. all i would have to do is touch him, then i could show him too.

"I guess I'll talk to storm about it. See if she has anything to say. She's the dean now after all."

she sent me another disapproving look before bobby came in and sat with us. i frowned, reading him quickly, before going back to my sandwich.

°°°°°°°°°

I knocked slowly on her office door, the wood creaking slowly. I could hear storm talking quietly to someone and suddenly my mind was flooded with his life again. His childhood, scraping his knee falling off his bike and it healing slowly. He freaked out but got up and kept riding. He never told his parents. Then his wife came into view, their wedding, her death. Then came him volunteering for strikers project. I could feel the ache in my chest as I felt all his pain. The cold rushing through my veins as he streaked butt naked through the Canadian wilderness trying to escape.

"Come in."

Shook me of my thoughts and I pushed the door open, seeing ororo and Logan talking. He was sat against her desk, legs crossed and cigar in his mouth. I panned the room to her standing in front of the TV, remote in hand. I could hear the electricity like she had just turned it off.

"Y/n, what a pleasant surprise."

I swallowed hard and looked from her to him. He had his brows drawn and I could tell he was trying to place me. Even in the two classes I had with him I was easy to ignore. I kept quiet. Answered questions when prompted. But ultimately stayed out of sight.

"storm I was wondering if I could ask you something but it's a private matter so I might come back."

I tried to suppress her time line, blinking away the hot African sun of her childhood.

"No need. I was just going."

Logan said sternly, pushing himself off the desk.

"We'll talk about this later."

She directed at him and he gave a tight lip smile, closing the door behind him. She looked back at me, placing the TV remote on the end table to her left.

"I have a feeling I know what this is about."

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to disobey professor Xavier -"

She held her hand up.

"You can't tell him."

I watched her, defeated as she paced to the desk.

"He deserves to know. Something. Anything. That he was married, he volunteered for experiment x, anything from his childhood."

She shook her head as she sat down.

"You know why that's a bad idea. We've already been over this after the fight at alkali lake."

I sighed and slumped down into the chair across from her.

"His time line is so intense storm. I can ignore most people's but they aren't as long or traumatizing as his. He's two, three, times as old as everyone here. Except myself."

A sad expression fell over her face as she folded her hands on the desk.

"He knows what happened with striker. We need to leave it at that. Until he finds something else out naturally."

I clenched my jaw and stood up.

"I can't keep hiding the truth from him ororo. And eventually he'll realize that I don't age either which will raise questions about my mutation. Then what am I supposed to say?"

She inhaled deeply.

"Y/n you are older than even the professor. You are the one that denied the position to teach-"

"Because I look like any other student!"

I interjected and she looked at me sternly.

"But if you are going to act like a child then you are going to be treated like one."

I scoffed and headed for the door.

"If the position reopens let me know. Teachers seem to be dropping like flies around here."

I pushed the door open harshly, it slamming behind me as I walked out of the office. There was a part of me that understands but I can't believe she is against me on this. He has found his place here. And I can't keep up with this. It's so much harder to keep people's time lines out of my head when they don't know I know.

Like rogue. I told her shortly after I met her. Even though it was after she took the "cure" from the Worthington corporation. She introduced herself in the same span it took me to see her time line. Bobby was there to help explain my powers to her but I haven't had to watch her find her powers since then. Same with him. And everyone else I've talked to on this campus. just small pieces of their childhood or finding their significant other.

but logan wasn't like everyone else. he was complicated. and so was i. but now, also, i was mad. i walked quickly down the hall, passed the dining room and kitchen to the elevator. if i couldnt get his frustrations out of my brain by telling him then i might as well work them out. i hit the down button and tapped my foot as i waited. when the door opened i strode down the hall to the danger-room.

i walked in slowly, the lights turning on and the control panel popping open. i quickly selected a series of test and waited for the room to start changing. i watched as sky scrapers appeared in the distance, small shops coming into view as well. then cars and people. then i saw a plane ahead, watching in shock as it crashed down in front of me. then all these creatures started climbing off of it, pieces of the plan in their unsightly jaws as it burned under them.

i moved quickly, running forward and dodging the creatures as they came at me hissing through bloody teeth. i pulled on the torn metal, making and opening and helping some civilians out of the plane as it burned. i looked up, seeing one of the creatures charging back at me. i grabbed a piece off the top of the plane and swung myself towards it kicking it square in the face and knocking back down to the ground.

i checked to make sure that the people on the ground were helping the others out of the burning plane before turning to fight another creature as it came at me. i struck it, pushing it away from me before lunging at another one. when the rest finally realized i was there they came in waves, attacking me. i fought back as hard as i could and for once thats all i had to focus on. then one of them knocked me down. as i tried to get up another lunged on top of me, pinning me down to the roof of the plane. i grunted and and tried to keep it away from me, its teeth gnashing and slobbery in my face.

then from out of nowhere i heard a yell and the sound of metal. i looked over to see logan shoving his long claws into the side of the creature. i watched him, his past flooding through my brain as he attacked the others as they came at us. i breathed deeply, stumbling to my feet and putting my back to his. we fought together until they were all gone, going to get the few stragglers out of the plane that hadnt made it out yet.

then he moved to help me down, taking my hand in his and pausing as i hit the ground. my eyes went wide as a tear slid down his cheek. shit. i had transferred his memories without even meaning to. all i had to do was touch him. usually i had my gloves on when we went in the danger-room but i didnt put my suit on first.

"i had a wife."

he said quietly, side eying me. i held my breath, holding onto his hand still as the simulation dissipated around us.

"i had a brother."

he laughed, really looking at me now. i took my hand out of his and held them both together in front of me.

"im sorry logan, this isnt how i wanted you to find out."

he drew his brows.

"have you known this whole time?"

i could feel tears stinging as i nodded.

"thats my curse to hold."

he shook his head, looking angry before walking off.

"logan wait!"

i called after him and he held his hand up.

"kid. just dont."

[sirensvcubus]

Daryl x reader

Enemies to lovers

Smut

Takes pleace when Daryl was held captive and tortured by Negan, and later in Alexandria

Warnings: forced marriage, mentioned killing, captivity, implied torture, smut

This was written very sloppy but rest assured theres smut lol and sum parts r cringy but thats fanfic 4 u

———————————————————————

I had nothing against Daryl Dixon or his group I would have joined them much sooner if I could’ve, but Negan’s offer came first.

I was all alone out there no one to talk to nothing to eat when the saviors found me and brought me to negan, he told me i could be his wife or I could be on the front lines fighting for him. I fought for the saviors killed over and over again until I became desensitized to it. I couldn’t take it anymore and took up his offer to be his fake wife. I wanted him to grow on me but he didnt I only hated him more and more each day.

He knew I loathed him and he would take it out on me or the other wives. I would wander down the halls crying when i heard my cries eco back to me but it wasnt me. Thats when I first met Daryl Dixon. We talked about our lives, where things went wrong and what led us to crying in a lonely hallway or a dark room. I would bring him extra food and tell the guards to turn down the music because it was giving me a headache. Any time I was lonely or sad I would go to talk by his door.

He always talked about escaping but I knew if Negan caught me he would make me pay. But one day he yelled and he screamed after catching one of the wives cheating and after what he did I knew I had to get out of there and fast. I changed into jeans and long sleeve shirt got a gun and my machetes with a pack of food water and a map. Then i thought back to why I agreed to go with Negan in the first place. Where was I gonna go? Faced with the back exit and a long gloomy hall leading to another gloomy hall that contained Daryl, I chose the hall. You grabbed some clothes from a near by room and headed his way. I turned down the music and knocked twice like how I always do.

“You said you have a group right a good one nice fair people.”

There was a silence then he growled “yes”

You picked the lock with your bobby pin, a skill that always came in handy in the apocalypse.

You took a deep breath and opened the door he lunged at you pushing you against the wall with his hands around your throat. You had never seen him and only now released how strong he was. You let out a tear and he loosened his grip

“Please I cant, I cant do this anymore” you broke down.

He let go he grabbed the clothes, putting them on quickly. You faced the wall shaking your leg anxiously.

“Come on” you grabbed his hand leading him to the exit.

4 months later…

His group took me in after some convincing and I even got close with some of them. I felt safe in the first time in a long time. But Daryl and I only got more distant. I missed our little talks. But we both got more mad at each-other as time went on he resented me and i hated him for it. But everything changed one night. This night.

I knocked twice on his door

I waited out in the rain getting soaked from head to toe.

He took his time and slowly opened the door

“Why do you hate me.” I said desperately rain pooling down my face

“Get in here” he pulled you by your arm inside out of the cold rain

“Girl what the hell are you doing out there,its too cold, you got a death wish r sum”

“I have been through so much. Getting my ass kicked, forced to marry a monster, watching my friends die….my family. But I have never felt more alone surrounded by people who care about me because none of them were you.” You said.

He looked away from you thinking.

“Why” you said

“I don’t hate you, every time i look at you…….. I just remember that place …Negan , and I wouldn’t care except then I think of what he would do to me if he knew.” He said standing so close I could feel his warm breath on my neck.

“Knew what..” you trembled.

“The things I wanna do to you.” He whispered low in his rough accent.

You gulped “tell me”

“I have a better idea” he said as he leaned in for a kiss. It was slow at first getting faster and faster biting your lip occasionally pulling away to look at you. His hands fell from your face and glided down to your hips squeezing tightly when he got to his destination. it hurt a little bit but pulled a small moan out of you and your hole body vibrated as he pressed himself against you. His warmth radiated throughout you. Your breath quickened and he started letting out small grunts. You scrunched his hair in your fists as you made out more violently. He started kissing your neck giving small bits as he slid one of his hands down your jeans touching you lightly teasing you. You let out a begging moan. But he retracted his hand and pulled you by your waist over to the kitchen propping you up on the counter. He lifted you so easily without any strain, it made you sigh in his ear which teased out a big grunt. You chuckled a little pleased with yourself. He lashed back by grabbing you by your neck pressing you down on the cold counter as he went down on you.

“I thought you didn’t want me cold.”

“Lets get you really hot then.” He replied

He lifted you so you were sitting on his shoulders as he continued on you. You reached out only to find the ceiling to hold onto before you were dropped onto the bed.

In the morning you found him sitting up shirtless holding a cup of coffee. You were rapped up in the sheets you clothes spread throughout the house.

“Huuuuuu where did you get that.”

“My secret stash.” He smiled

The peace was suddenly cut short with heavy nocking.

“Ooooo boy, open up lovebirds I’ve missed you both”

Negan.

[rockermybuddie]

In This Life

Eddie x Buck

Sequal to my Tevan story, In Another Life

Tw: talks about suicide and almost losing to someone yo suicide

Summary: Eddie has been giving Tommy and Buck space ever since he found out the Buck tried to kill himself on the call to the perfume factory. He has been checking in with Buck at least three times a week though.

Its been killing Eddie not seeing Buck in person and hes been holding off not wanting to be a burden while Buck gets better.

Tommy invited Eddie over for dinner thinking it’ll be good for Buck to socialize with someone other than himself and who better than his best friend, Eddie?

But the dinner doesn’t go as planned when Eddie spills his feelings all over the table.

Now theres a mess to clean up.

—————

Eddie sat on his couch in his empty house, Chris still living with his grandparents and Buck has Tommy now. Eddie is alone.

He doesn’t show it though, at work hes him normal self. He doesn’t want anyone feeling sorry for him other than himself. Hes the one who got himself in this position so why should anyone feel sorry for him?

He picked up his phone off of the coffee table and stared at the picture of Christopher on his lock screen before hitting Bucks name in his contacts.

“Hey Buck.” Eddie says into the phone. Buck picked up his phone after the first ring. Thats Buck for you.

The two talked on the phone for only ten minutes but that was enough to let Eddie know that Buck is doing a little better.

Eddie is still trying to understand why Buck wanted to take his own life, he thought that just wasnt Buck but you never really know what is going on in someones mind. The happiest person could take their own life and no one would have expected it.

Thats the sad part about suicide and depression.

Eddie took a swig of his beer trying not to imagine a world without Buck in it.

The two havent hung out together by themselves in awhile. Eddie with his relationship issues and Buck fiinding himself with Tommy there was never really anytime. They only got to hang out at work.

Eddie turns on his xbox to play a video game to try and get his mind off of Buck but its not helping when he can see Bucks avatar in the corner.

His phone lit up with a text from Bobby asking him about some new tech gadget for the firehouse. Eddie responded a quick reply, placing his phone back down on the couch.

His thumb had accidentally opened his camera roll and he looked down at it. The first picture that caught his eye was Buck.

He picked up his phone and tapped on the photo so it filled the whole screen.

The picture was of Buck, Chim, and Eddie at the firehouse when they set up a prank in Bobbys office.

Eddie smiled at the picture remembering the day and hearing Buck yap about how excited he was to prank Bobby.

Eddie zoomed into Bucks face and found himself smiling at his phone admiring Buck. His smile bright, soft pink lips with perfect white teeth. His dimples big, the crinkles by his eyes, and the sparkle in his blue eyes from the sunlight shining through the window.

Eddie let out a cough/laugh when he caught himself thinking about Buck in a way he never has before. He quickly hit the power button on his phone tossing it the other side of the couch.

He stood up real quick to adjust his shorts but saw that he had gotten a erection. He was glad no one was around to see it but he also questioned how he got one.

Was it the picture of Buck? No way, right? He liked women. But havent had any luck with any since Shannon. Barley even her.

Eddie let out a heavy sigh and sat back down on the couch.

Theres no way he got hard while looking at a picture of Buck, theres no way.

———-

“Evan, its time for your medicine.” Tommy says handing Evan his small cup of pills and a glass of water.

Evan lifts his head from the arm of the couch and takes the medicine.

“Now open.” Tommy says. Evan rolls his eyes but does what is told. Tommy checks the crevices of Evans mouth to make sure he took his medication.

“If you didnt hide your pills that one time i wouldnt have to check.” Tommy raises his eyebrows at Evan as he sets the glass of water on the table and takes a seat next to him.

Tommy pulled Evan into his lap kissing the top of his head as he lays it in his lap. Rubbing his soft curls with one of his hands as the other interlopers with Evans hand by his stomach the two watch whatever was on the Tv.

Tommys been making sure Evan his going to therapy and going for walks. He makes sure he eats and takes his medicine along with taking showers and getting enough sleep.

Tommy still worried that Evan might try something else so he always makes sure he knows the medicine is hidden and anything sharp is hidden as well.

He wakes up every hour of the night checking on Evan. He knows it not healthy for him or even the relationship if Evan knew but he’s been afraid of loosing him ever since the first.

———

Buck sat at the table as Tommy cooked dinner, Tommy made small talk but he was really just talking to himself. Buck didnt reply to anything he said.

Tommy stepped away for a few moments and called Eddie asking him if he wanted to come over for dinner. Thinking having someone different come over might help Buck talk more.

Eddie hesitated for a few moments but ended up giving in. Its just dinner with his two best friends, it cant be that hard, right?

Besides it’ll be good for Eddie to socialize with his friends outside of work.

Twenty minutes later Eddie knocks on Bucks apartment door. He has a key but since Tommy is here he doesn’t want to use it.

“Hey Eddie!” Tommy says with a smile opening the door. “Hey Tommy.” Eddie steps into the apartment and looks around before looking at Buck sitting at the table.

“Hey Buck.” Eddie says, he trys to push what happened earlier out of his mind. Buck picked his hand up from his lap and gave Eddie a small wave.

“Someone forgot how to use their voice. Maybe you can help with that?” Tommy says looking at Evan then at Eddie before going back to the stove top.

Eddie asked if Tommy needed any help but when he said no, Eddie took a seat next to Buck at the table.

“So when do you think you’ll be back at work Buck?” Eddie asks trying to start a conversation, he didnt know what else to ask.

Buck shrugged his shoulders.

Eddie cant help but notice how empty Buck looks. No expression on his face, hes not going on about some random fact he read about the other day, and hes not asking about christopher.

It made Eddie sad that his best friend was hurting in a way he didnt know how to help.

Tommy brought over the soup he made and dished it out to everyone. He then took his seat next to Buck across from Eddie as they began to eat.

Tommy and Eddie made small talk trying to weave Buck into the conversation but he wasnt having it.

All of a sudden Buck scoots his chair back getting up. “Evan, where are you going?” Tommy asks. Eddie watches Buck with his eyes walk into the kitchen to the refrigerator grabbing a beer.

Tommy notices Eddie watching Evan the whole time but tries not to think too much of it. Eddies straight and if he wanted Buck before he could of had him when he had the chance.

When Buck sat back down at the table there was a new tension in the air and everyone felt it. Buck looked between Tommy and Eddie but couldn’t figure out what changed.

“So Eddie, you find anyone of interest yet?” Tommy asks him. “Oh, um, not yet.” Eddie says taking a drink of his water, the question caught him off guard. He could go for a beer but he doesn’t want to get up from the table.

“Well when you do me and Evan would love to go on a double date. Wouldn’t we babe?” Tommy looks over at Evan placing his hand on his forearm. Evan shakes his head slowly still trying to figure out what is going on.

Eddie looks at Tommys hand on Bucks arm and can feel his cheeks getting flustered. He shouldn’t be jealous of that, Tommy is Bucks boyfriend.

“What is the problem here?” Buck finally spoke, he couldn’t stand the awkward heavy unknowing silence going on around him anymore.

“What are you talking about Evan?”

“I like you Buck.” Tommy and Eddie said at the same exact time.

Tommy let out a deep chuckle and made a questionable face towards Eddie.

Eddie visibly gulped and kept his eyes on Buck.

Buck moved his eyes between Tommy and Eddie as it was silent.

“I-i-i-i know you two are together a-a-and i dont want to break you two apart. I just urm…” Eddie runs a stressed hand through his hair.

“Buck how did you know you liked guys?” Eddie asks pleading Buck to talk with his eyes. “Tommy kissed me.” Buck answers. Not helpful but okay, Eddie thought.

“Tommy?” Eddie looks at Tommy basically waiting for his response to same question he asked Buck.

“When i never found actual happiness with a woman.” Tommy replies but quickly realizes that Eddie isnt finding happiness with women either.

“I think you need to leave Eddie.” Tommy suggests. Buck looks over at Tommy with furrowed brows and a disgusted expression.

“This isnt your house Tommy. You cant kick out our guest. You’re the one who invited him over!” Buck raised his voice.

Tommy and Eddie both shocked at his response.

“Its okay Buck. I shouldn’t of came.” Eddie says getting up from the table. “Eddie.” Buck says standing up from his seat.

Eddie stopped and turned around, Buck stood at his spot at the end of the table farthest from the door unable to talk or move.

Tommy stood next to him anxiously waiting to see what happens.

When there was no movement after a minute Eddie opened the door and left. Buck slammed his fist on the table.

“Evan.” Tommy says putting a hand on his shoulder. Buck couldn’t even look over at him he was too angry with him for kicking Eddie out.

Buck snatched away his shoulder from Tommy and heavy footed his way up the stairs so Tommy knew he was mad.

Tommy cleaned up the mess downstairs of the dishes, not of the other mess that got spilled. He tried thinking other of it but seeing Bucks reaction there might not be any cleaning of it.

———

Tommy gave Buck space to cool down after a few hours it was late now, way past bedtime.

Tommy walked upstairs to the bed and sat down as Buck laid opposite wishing Tommy would just leave. He doesnt want to hurt Tommy but after hearing that Eddie likes him new feelings has rushed over him.

“He told you his feelings for you during a very vulnerable time in your life Evan.” Tommy says. “He might not even mean it. Has he even mentioned liking men to you?”

“I didnt know i liked men intill you kissed me.” Evan says. “I can control my feelings. You have been controlling everything else in my life. Let me have my feelings.”

Evan and Tommy went back and forth about Eddie and Tommy being controlling all of a sudden.

“Just get out Tommy!” Buck yells. “And dont come back!”

“Evan, its time for your medicine. You don’t-” Tommy begins

“TOMMY I SAID GET OUT!” Buck screams on top of his lungs.

“I’m not coming back then.” Tommy says in deep controlled voice.

“Good.” Buck heaved out.

Tommy snatched his jacket and keys with anger as he slammed Bucks apartment door shut behind him.

——-

Eddie finished off another beer and added it to the empty pile.

He couldn’t believe he had said that at dinner, what was wrong with him?

Seeing Buck in person just brought out all these unknown feelings and he didnt know how to mask his feelings anymore.

Eddie opened another beer, hes lost count on how many hes drank but it doesn’t matter. He’ll drink as many as it takes to get him out of his thoughts.

As he goes to take a drink theres a knock at his door. Who could that be? He gets up from the couch and peeks out the window.

“Buck? What are you doing here?” He asks when he opens the door. “Tommy and i broke up.” Buck says walking into Eddies house. His voice sounded scratchy.

“Buck im sorry.” Eddie beings to say, he knows hes the reason they broke up. “I didnt mean to say what i said.” But he finds himself staring at Bucks mouth again, his trembling lips.

“So you dont like me?” Buck asks. “Buck….. i-i-i dont know.” Eddie stutters out rubbing a hand down his face.

Buck takes a few steps towards Eddie now standing directly in front of him. “Eddie when you said you liked me at dinner you opened a lot feelings i didnt know i had. And now you’re saying you dont like me?” Bucks voice had a hint of sarcasm in it as he spoke and it sent shivers down Eddies spine.

Buck is so close he can smell his scent and feel the bkdy heat radiating off of him. Eddie keeps his hands to his side even though his body is telling him to feel Bucks pounding chest.

“I said i dont know Buck.” Eddie grinned his teeth his eyes locked in on Bucks.

Buck pushes Eddie back against the door his fingers lift Eddies chin up just a little bit and he tilts his head up placing a soft kiss on Eddies mouth.

“Did you like that?” Buck asks pulling away.

In shock Eddie didnt respond right away, he actually didnt know how to respond to that. He wasnt sure if he liked it.

When Eddie didnt say or do anything Buck rubbed his chin shaking his head. “Guess Tommy was right.” He mumbles.

Instead of asking Eddie to move away from the front door, since he hasnt moved a muscle since the kiss Buck turned and walked into the kitchen to leave out the back.

“Buck wait.” Eddie calls out chasing after him. Bucks hand was on the door knob when he just turned his head a little to listen to whatever Eddie was going to say.

“Please dont leave.” Eddie asks. Buck moves his eyes up to Eddies face and his deep brown eyes and pouty lips looking back at him.

“I-i-i i liked the kiss. Shit. I loved the kiss Buck. I just, i didnt know what to do or say. I’ve never kissed a man or-” Eddie rambled on but when Buck pressed his lips against his again it shut him up.

Buck pulled away and rested his forehead against Eddies looking into his deep brown eyes.

“Dont stop.” Eddie breathed out pulling Bucks head back down to his mouth.

Buck backed Eddie up to the table as the back of his thighs hit the table. Buck gripped the back of Eddies head as he laid him down deeping the kiss.

Eddie smooshed between the hard table and Buck he felt himself in the heat of the moment like he did when he was looking at the picture on his phone.

Out of habit and turned on Buck found himself grinding his hips against Eddies. “Sorry.” Buck apologized getting off of Eddie.

He felt bad about it because this is the first time Eddie has ever even kissed a man he doesn’t want to overstep.

Tommy let Buck take his time, he needs to let Eddie take his time as well.

“Its okay Buck. Its just me.” Eddie says, a little sad that Buck had stopped.

“I’m going to take you on an actual date before we get in bed Eddie.” Buck says.

Eddie blushed but he understood.

The two sat on the couch and talked about the sudden feelings for each other.

Eddie made sure that Buck knew he wasnt trying to cause bad blood between him and Tommy. That seeing him almost die again made him worry about actually losing him and not being able to tell him his feelings.

———-

A/n: i think i got a little side tracked but hopefully this story wasnt too bad. I love Tevan so writing a breakup was kind of sad. But i had unintentionally set up a Buddie scenario in my Tevan story that writting this just made sense.

I had wrote a story didnt like it, deleted it and wrote this one.

[mazzystar24]

actually the hospital wing joke is starting to bother me a lot more because buck actually fucking died 😭and he didnt even change clothes from being at the hospital all day why would you say that to someone. ik it was a fakeout but bobby looked like he was fr coding on the table. and like just a couple weeks before chimney almost died?? like im sorry i only accept those kinda jokes from people who have known me for years and even then they can be a little upsetting.

thats the thing though!!!! id be perfectly fine with buck and tommy if they gave us more than actual crumbs. 709 felt like buck had more chemistry with ravi in the same scene that tommy was in! they’re supposed to be dating so why do they feel like colleagues? and why are the more emotional and vulnerable scenes getting given to EDDIE if they want me to support buck and tommy as a couple? why wasnt tommy at the hospital with them considering he’s said multiple times he wishes he had a family like the 118 does? why are the only times hes on screen now only establishing his jealousy and that gerrard exists? is that the only reason why hes still here?

actually i wanna get back to 706. it wouldve been so easy to keep tommy there but they wrote him out of most of the episode 😭 he couldve said for the bachelor party! he couldve helped them find chimney! he couldve done literally ANYTHING. chimney was confused as hell as to why he even showed up at the wedding at all 😭 but no!!! they had him show up, ignore what buck wanted, then leave so we could have buck and eddie performing their drunk mating rituals or whatever 🤸‍♂️ but yeah buddie who?

also im never letting go of the wedding singer comment btw because what was that. why did they make tommy reference a movie where the two leads in the ROMANTIC COMEDY start the story dating the wrong people. i feel insane about it actually. also him calling buck evan will forever confuse me until we get an actual acknowledgement in canon because literally why

and the humor falls so flat but eddie has the same type of humor and it never does. he was making fun of buck in 706 (the making chimneys wedding about him line) but it never actually felt serious to me?

anyway sorry for yelling in your inbox i have a lot of mixed emotions about this season -birthmark anon

Yes totally get that like I’m the same like me and my best friend will be saying downright horrendous trauma jokes to eachother that make people around us clutch their pearls but I feel like it takes a certain level of rapport to get to trauma joke level - ig not everyone is the same when it comes to that but I think that again the writers absolutely failed to give us enough bucktommy scenes that justify having this kinda line

AGHSKF NOT THE BUCK /RAVI AHJDKFKF 😭😭😭 THIS IS ESPECIALLY FUNNY WHEN YOU SEE THE BUCKTOMMY SCENE AT THE CEREMONY VS THOSE BUCKLEY DIAZ FAMILY STILLS (still bitter the scene got cut) like someone explain to me why the actual couple is coming across less couple-y

ALSO FR THO THE SARDONIC ENERGY IS JUST NOT BEING BALANCED RIGHT like it’s coming across more 🧍

Like i can’t remember who I was talking to the other day but I was saying like this 🧍emoji just embodies Tommy to me

EXACTLYYYYY LIKE PURELY UNHINGED TO HAVE SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE AND MAKE NO EFFORT TO USE THOSE EMOTIONAL BEATS TO DEVELOP THEIR DYNAMIC BUT INSTEAD CONTRAST THAT WITH THE VULNERABILITY BETWEEN BUCK AND EDDIE THIS EPISODE

AHSJKF we going back to 7x06 and that’s so valid of us AGSJKF DRUNK MATING RITUALS AHJDKFKF STOP IM CACKLING

THE WEDDING SINGER COMMENT HAUNTS ME ISTG BECAUSE EVERY NOW AND THEN ILL REMEMBER THIS COSTUME DETAIL AND WAKE UP IN A COLD SWEAT:

THE CALLING HIM EVAN THING I LEGIT MADE LIKE THREE THEORIES ON RANGING FROM POSITIVITY TO NEGATIVITY

YES ABOUT THE HUMOUR like there just isn’t that balance or lightness to even the joke out, like I’m a big dry humour and sarcastic girlie but it’s just not being delivered right in a way idk if it’s the writing or the acting or just the fact its most his very small screentime but it’s just falling flat to me

Never apologise for yelling in my inbox babe and same for the mixed emotions

Love ya birthmark anon byee 🫶🫶

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

it took me two weeks but i finished season 5!!!! because i was on holiday for some of it i assumed it would take much less, but the wifi was shit and then once i got home something in my apartment broke so i just couldnt deal

anyway!!! here's my thoughts:

im sorry but no other disaster will ever compare to the tsunami. the earthquake came closest, but what in the world was this one??? especially because it didnt even get resolved, what do you mean the hackers just gave up? WHAT? that makes absolutely no fucking sense.

athena's storyline throughout the disaster episodes was fucking amazing though. i love her. and i love that harry had a bigger role too!! honestly, the way that dude was able to simply walk out of the courtroom was .... ridiculous but well i dont watch this show for its realism!!! but the way the storyline from the beginning of the season affected the entire grant-nash family was really great

michael and david???? hello that episode was amazing, the fire at the hospital, bobby going in and telling david that michael was going to PROPOSE!!!! i loved that episode, honestly big calls like that one are soooooo good!!! very sad that michael and david just straight up disappeared wtf

may!! i love you may. you are amazing may. you deserve the world. i loved seeing her grow and her conflict with her coworker. and I LOVED getting to know the other employees at dispatch even more, seeing their personalities shine through.

speaking of dispatch THE FUCKING BOSTON EPISODE??? i mean maddie straight up leaving and shit already affected the entire team ect and it was clear to see throughout the season but the boston episode was (to me) a kind of "maddie begins again" episode, where she slowly heals and gets back on her feet.

chimney is so fucking in love with maddie, i dont really understand why they broke up but i know they'll find their way back to each other. also. he's an AMAZING father. he loves his daughter so much and its wonderful to see. and the comeback of eli? i love that character, truly amazing to see him come back for a bit. and chim is just... SO GOOD!! he is so underrated imo but he's just an amazing friend and coworker and just kind. i know he fought with buck and whatever but thats kind of understandable imo

idk why the writers this season thought they should just make ALL of the grant-nash family go THROUGH it this season but bobby??? i felt like he was so close to relapsing so many times, i was truly afraid more than once. he cares about his team and his family so deeply. having him relive his trauma of losing his family in the fire not just with david but with MAY??? god that episode was amazing. truly. bobby nash i love you. and may calling him her dad? im sobbing. the almost relapse? wow.

this season has been really good and doing callbacks to earlier incidents and forcing characters into situations similar to previous traumas, especially with the mayday episode with both bobby and chim. when him and albert were together on that roof my heart dropped, even before albert almost fell in.

i hated lucy at the beginning but i liked her when she wasnt focused on buck. i know he's hot or whatever but you're literally hotter and can do better, please go find lena bosko and hook up. i feel like she finally became a more fleshed out character towards the end of the season and thats when i really liked her. i hope she shows up again in the next seasons, but this show seems to have the habit of forgetting some female characters exist after some time aka after they served the purpose of helping with character development for a male character (LIKE LENA FUCKING BOSKO???)

i love albert, i hope he finds something that fits him better and that he still shows up occasionally.

i want more ravi. what the fuck. bring him back. he's so cool.

i loved hen's mom!!!!! and her love story this season??? UGH amazing

hen and karen truly are just *that* couple. i love them together, i love them seperately, i need karen to interact with the other members of the 118 more often. also where did hen's med school storyline go????????? im lost. anyways hen was so fucking cool this season, she was an amazing fucking friend and she was so supportive of chim and her instincts are once again right and no one should ever doubt her because she is amazing and smart and stunning and beautiful and kind and spectacular and i love her and her family. i missed her and chim together tho. i just want them back. but also i want her to mentor new paramedics, i feel like she would be amazing and at the same time would force her to learn to trust different paramedics again.

buck this season. you pissed me off when kissing lucy and then asking taylor to move in instead of confessing. but i like that he then DID tell her. but not cool. i really like that this season buck seemed to just show what good of a friend he can be. especially to eddie. also, buck didnt see his sister for like six months, i do wish we had kind of seen how that affected him a bit more. i liked his relationship with taylor, i like taylor. she is clearly more focused on her career than building a relationship and trust ect. but i dont think she's a terrible person. i think they will be better off as friends and i hope we see them interact again from time to time.

eddie. eddie. eddie. my love. i lvoe you. pls. i am VERY glad he finally had a mental breakdown and dealt with at least SOME of his trauma. he is such an asshole sometimes, i love his comebacks to his coworkers and friends. i love him and i love his love for christopher. those two love each other so much. but yes i loved seeing eddie cry this season, i loved seeing him talk about his feelings and learn and grow and i loved seeing him with his friends and new coworkers at dispatch. him and josh being frenemies is so funny to me, maddie should invite the two of them over for dinner or something and watch them interact while eating popcorn. i think she'd enjoy it. him and buck's friendship this season was everything to me, they were able to lean on each other. and when chris called buck while eddie literally trashed his room?? jesus fucking christ. i love the three of them. eddie's breakup with ana was COLD. that woman just looked after your son while you were on shift for longer than expected, you couldn't have let her go home and rest before breaking up??? please free the women of la from him. perfect breakup for gay storyline btw, but anyways. and him knowing right away that bobby was drowning in his guilt and going to drown himself in a bottle and going there to stop him? without even mentioning his suspicions. i love him learning to talk to his friends and family more about his and their feelings.

sad to know that that dude from the mayday episode has not yet shown up again in josh's life, because they would be cute together and josh deserves to have a personality outside of work.

the episode about the prison break ect was super cool and interesting. and also the episode about that bitch ass jonah. i hope he rots for hurting chim and for traumatising hen. asshole. i wish bobby had punched him some more.

comeback of clipboard buck. we need one per season minimum.

anyways this season was super good and fun and i loved it especially because eddie had a breakdown this season and because so many of the 118 and friends had to learn how to cope with their ptsd or relive their trauma in different ways, it felt like it gave closure to a bunch of storylines (except for helping eddie move on from the death of his wife).

[wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj]

Asking this because I’m genuinely curious uhhh what are your thoughts on Bobby being a catholic in s16e06 and s16e16

s16e06 came out the monday (three (3) days) after i posted manic pixie dream girl bobby brackenreid to ao3 .

and im still not fully convinced it wasnt a prank for me specifically. like what the hell. i post my fic and bobby suddenly appears for the first time since last season ???? and now (s)he’s CATHOLIC ???? did i manifest that but wrong ??? (one time through fic i manifested something right which was funny) pretty baffling

anyways im deeply fascinated by this direction bc like storywise its of course pretty far from what i envisioned in mpdgbb but thematically theres unexpectedly a lot of overlap i think. bobby becoming catholic shows him developing past and beyond what was initially expected of him—trouble, violence—and importantly it separates him from his father, who. well represents some of those worse parts (brackenreid took pride in bobby being the « rough and tumble » son, the one taking after him) n like honestly the queer route honestly does the same thing. leaving that behind for something less conventional, unexpected but softer. just like his brother, who traded being a cop for acting. so at the end of the day i wasnt even too mad. that's still my bobby

to illustrate originally i came up with this image

but it occurred to me that the path to both is kind of also the same ? catholicism/the whole mpdgbb route both are from needing a place to belong after spending so long away from his family, not having really an idea where he's going. n so:

of course it's more complex than that. many more details include how i think some of the aggression was from pent up trans discomfort and rage, and the hypothetical possibility of realizing transness WHILE catholic which would sure be. a time.

here's justan illustration of the different timelines/possibilities

yellow : « canon » pink : mpdgbb canon blue : canon in my heart

as you can see catholic bobby is not canon in the mpdgbb-verse because i wrote that first fic and constructed the whole premise before it aired. i dont know if i could ever explore a catholic bobby brackenreid in detail in writing and especially fic, im the brand of raised-catholicnonbeliever that never cared in the first place so while i can like these stories i could definitely never write them myself with the grace they deserve

so like i dont really have insight on what being catholic realistically means for him and i cant possibly predict what theyre going to do next with him, except well . the trenches (ww1 in two years babeyyyyyyyy). fun to talk abt though !