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You whisper, 'Can you hold me now?'
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show: sas: rogue heroes pairing: paddy mayne x eoin mcgonigal song: know your darkness, by faderhead
#sas rogue heroes#paddy mayne#eoin mcgonigal#paddy x eoin#paddon#screaming#started crying twice while doing this#there are bits i didn't get to include that i wanted to#and bits that could be better i'm sure#but it's FOUR AM#okay saving this as a draft so i can show my most wonderful friend who encouraged me to do the thing first#document type: video footage#fuck sorry just watched it again and CRYING AGAIN#there's a gifset that will make this WORSE for everyone once i learn how to make gifs#i promise you i'm going to make it SO MUCH WORSE#okay it's morning/4 hours later and for my first ever video thing... not too bad
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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#selfie bee#good evening friends!! how are you doing! C:#I'm very very sleepy I got a new ikea office chair and I build it all myself#I think it went okay! I don't think I pulled the back screw tight enough and now the back is a bit loose#I can probably fix it but I can also ignore it for the next 18 years#thats how long the old chair held up!! in germany it could now drink vodka and drive a car!!#not at the same time that is illegal! not at the same time!! (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*#but the day is not over yet my uncle asked me for a big art quest and I do not want to disappoint#he wants a muppet tattoo and asked me to draw it#my uncle has started to get tattoos a few months ago#as far as I know he has now gotten 3 note clefs 3 stars a flower and multiple birds#he also started getting piercings but so far I managed not to know exactly where#I think tattoos are super cool (´｡･v･｡｀) I wish I had a good idea for a tattoo but the last time I was very sure about getting a tattoo#it was heath ledgers face as the joker#at that point I was 12 and would not see the actual movie for two more years#a muppet tattoo is a way better idea!! he asked for the count van count! that is also one of my top 3 muppets ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#I always thought I knew a lot about muppet lore but since I started looking up muppet pictures I think there are still a lot of secrets#can the muppets from the Sesame Street actually leave the Sesame Street?#I think Kermit is both on the Muppet Show and on Sesame Street but he is also like the boss muppet#he might have special abilities#I hope you're having a good day friends!! C:#I think I'll post a Sherlock comic later this week#miss you!! ♥♥♥
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i feel bad about it but "he killed eighty people in two days" in The Avengers just doesn't seem like that high a number to me? it'd be high for a normal person, but in supervillainy terms that's... a bit crap, really isn't it?
no wonder Thor was so quick to say "he's adopted" the honour of the family is at stake here, you can't let the humans think that's the best any of them can do D:
#the avengers (2012)#(i have to specify which avengers so i can sort my thor-and-his-mates posts from my steed-and-emma-peel ones)#(i'll just assume someone's already written that crossover)#brodinsons (bringing-shame-upon-the-family edition)#queue#it's only like one every half hour or one every 15 minutes if he stops to sleep and eat and piss and so on#well he wasn't feeling his best he was clearly looking a bit under the weather i'm sure on a normal day he could do way better than that#not to make the obvious comparison here but we saw sylvie kill about one or two people per minute on occasion didn't we?
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Oooo starstruck dee has little stars at the bottom of her feet! Are they just aesthetic or would they make imprints into the ground? (like pawprints)
exactly like that! though she's not the only one...
edit: might need to add some additional dialogue to this to make it more clear, but a clarification in the interim; he knows about his own footprints. he's just surprised to see something similar already there when he knows he's only just landed. he lifts his own shoe to confirm that they're not identical (and also to reveal this to the viewer). seems his stoicism beat off the clarity in this one, sorry 😭
#meta knight#starstruck dee#have had this one sitting around for *months* while i bit my nails on posting it#and then i thought maybe i *shouldn't* during the shipaganza bc it's not a direct prompt; though i do think you can read it that way#and for ~Reasons~ i needed to post this one sooner rather than later so i had to bite the bullet.#though meta knight has understandably been the second most prompted. they do indeed have the Funnest Possible Dynamic for it#stoic guy and the bug eyed little Creature he doesn't really trust as far as he could throw her (long long way)#so just to clarify this one is NOT for the shipaganza but you can read it that way if you want to#this is just a canon scene between them from her storyline. this is just something they canonically share. starry eyed idiots.#also fwiw i think i probably picked up the shoe-patterns for the knights from postitnotes7#been a headcanon in the back of my mind for a long while but i'm pretty sure i osmosis'd it from their work#especially after drawing post's designs so much for the hnkss. i temporarily forgot how i used to draw their armour ngl#and also btw starstruck deetectives psspsps#i'm planning a much better post about this later (probably in march) but i'm going to start using this tag for Important Posts for y'all#🎀🔍#<- for the starstruck deetectives when there's something significant in the post.#i worry about making it 'too easy' but also want stuff to be accessible. it's just for fun? the OC lore game! ARG but it's just my oc.#that would be fun right? maybe? is that too indulgent? i could probably pull it off if folks were actually interested enough to participate#anyway!! go to bed starflung#also if you read this far: anon is open again! still open for shipaganza prompts but i'm not gonna be finished them in february 😂
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once, you were almost a ghost
#my art#noctis lucis caelum#ffxv#render#not sure i really have an excuse for this other than i wanted to see noct's pretty pretty face#and maybe show off his hands a bit#have you ever seen a prettier video game man?#xv did not have to go this hard#they could have said that being in the crystal stopped noct from aging#but no#they said we are going to make the handsomest 30 year old the world has ever seen#and then they gave him to us#really we need to be more appreciative#also thank god for flagrum#i spent ages trying to figure out the shaders and never got even close#i understand how things work better now but the difference between the flag rum model and what i had slapped together are like night and day#i'm trying to look on the bright side and not be frustrated by all my wasted time and energy#:):):):)#it's almost working
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It was really a Cinderella moment in the Trainee episode 8.
Jane was playing both the role of the fairy godmother and the role of the Prince at the same time. Is there anything this man can't do?!
#thai series#bl series#bl drama#thai bl#the trainee#the trainee the series#episode 8#cinderella#silly post#maybe jane could have lay down a bit on his jealousy at work but I'm sure he'll do better#no one is truly perfect and perfection can be boring.
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Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Dexter Favin#Coraline#The Beldam#The other side of this coin <3 Call him out but this time make it unfriendly hehe#I talked last time about the daring rescue!! I do love the daring rescue in Coraline AUs ah same thing with the Camp Camp Coraline AU haha#Burst in through the door! Those poor hinges!#It is a bit funny imagining him crawling through the tunnel in a hurry and kicking the doors open all winded haha <3#It's all very serious of course Max needs help! Stuck behind the mirror from disobeying perhaps?#I was pretty hard on him last time that he'd just Immediately give up his soul for cheap tricks but like - would he?#Yes he's reckless and foolish but he's also stubborn and prideful and hates being told what to do so there's that lol#Which does he want more! The high or his freedom to refuse? I could see it going either way#And for Dex's sake I would hope he'd refuse! As if he hasn't suffered enough eye trauma (eventually)#Ough the thought of him starting to say yes and getting one button eye in and then rescinding his yes ouch#Doomed to have one eye no matter where he goes ah 💔#Anyway - Dex!!! Watch I'll make another one with the ideas mentioned here and then talk about more ideas in those tags pft#Since agreeing with him didn't work how about shaming? ''Go away you're no better''#She really is going hard on him like ''What's your angle? You get him back and then what? Will that actually fix anything?''#Very much pulling from Dexter's meetings with Max at the Institute there hhhhhh as if I needed more feelings about it#Eco_Mono did such a beautiful job playing Dex - so much to consider hehe - but there was one question that I can't stop thinking about#''Why would you want him back?'' and Dexter didn't really have much of an answer - he was barely more than a concept at the time!#Having had the opportunity to see his character grow into himself has given me Such brainworms about that question ♥♪♫#Very want to explore it <3#In the meanwhile it's fun to pit these two against each other haha what an odd matchup ♪#I've only barely drawn the Beldam before now that I think of it! And I think only in her final metal-spidery form never in her mid form here#She's fun :D And so tall! Dexter finally feeling small for a change haha#Her having to fight adult selfishness would be quite interesting I think - something tinged with but not quite the same as loyalty#She can relate to the possessiveness at least hehe I'm sure he'd appreciate the comparison
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A portrait of my Pathfinder character Sabella's current mental state. She's having A Time.
▸ Everything she thought she knew about her life was a lie. ▸ Her great-grandfather is not just dealing with a fiends, he is one. He's a Rakshasa, has probably been several of her ancestors through reincarnation or impersonation, and he wants her to come home and be a good little pawn, sorry, grand-daughter. He particularly wants her back now he knows she can change her form and hide that she's a tiefling. ▸ But she wasn't actually born visibly a tiefling! Her older brother Cesare was though, and that was deemed unacceptable because they needed a respectable face for the family heir and not one that openly advertised that they had been dealing with fiends. Their second born, however, could be safely kept out of sight until they could find a way to permanently hide her fiendish blood too. So their heritages were swapped via horrible transmutation magic involving a painting stretched over a frame of magically re-shaped ribs, which has been hanging in her bedroom most of her life :) ▸ Totally unrelatedly hahaha; She's missing a rib! Cesare is probably missing one too :) It's fine, it probably contributes to her ridiculous acrobatics modifier she's real bendy :) :) It's fine :) Or could that be the ancestry involving a creature know for having wierd joints? Certainly no-one's looking at the way she moves with new eyes at all hahahahaaa :) ▸ Her parents may have been trying to protect her all her life which meant pushing her away and making her want to leave. Real shitty way to discover your parents might not actually hate you, might in fact love and want you very much. ▸ AND her dad has "business dealings" with the Azarketi ambassador, of the kind that mean they light up when they're in the same room and her mother is really pissed off. Is your family life not complicated enough already, dad??? ▸ Everything is Fine. ▸ :) :) :|
She's quite looking forward to getting to go and hit things that are completely unrelated to her fucked up family. (I am having a great time. Sabella may be in the middle of a nervous breakdown.)
#art#pathfinder 2e#tiefling#pathfinder extinction curse#ttrpg#sabella & her scintillating sabres#but we are massively off script for extinction curse right now#i gave my GM a tragic backstory™ and he was like 'nice but have you considered that it could be even more harrowing?'#it was just 'oops we've got a tiefling daughter that's gonna be bad for our business relationships better pretend we don't' when i wrote it#we should be back on the actual adventure path next session#at least for a bit#until grandtiger comes to collect his prodigal grandaughter#i have some ideas about how i want to deal with that :3 i'm sure he's a reasonable fiend#it'll be Fine#sorry i just really needed to froth about my campaign i'm having so much fun#thorn OCs
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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Experiencing the world's fucking weirdest work situation atm. Like genuinely what the fuck. I can't even really post about it because it's too identifying but know I am going through it™
#Hskdjhdkskjsjs#I'm just. What.#My work handled this SO FUCKING BADLY every detail I learn gets worse#They are lucky I am being very nice about this because I really don't have to be#And I think they know this which is why they're kinda falling all over themselves to rectify the highly stupid shit they've already done#And make it clear that they are so very sorry#But wow. Wow!#There were much better ways to handle this and they just..... Didn't#And sure they're very sorry about how it impacted me and want to (monetarily) make it up to me but like....#I'm salty! I'm salty they didn't handle it better to begin with!#If they'd thought it through even just a little bit then they could have minimized how much this impacted me and other people#But alas they did not#And now I have to do a bunch of paperwork about it#The collective bitching in the group chat is off the charts
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Get yerself a peanits if you want one idc
#i feel like i was a bit too heavy handed with the imagery in this one#could be better without the flag and F T M but i wanted to be sure the new context for the reviews was clear#and now it's like. i don't wanna conflate the broad scope of transness with hrt/surgery#but i'm probably overthinking it. whatever#paper collage
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oh and thank you very much,
I love tags with reactions so so much 'v')♥ it makes me happy. Even more than the work itself lately(onk has been giving me despair.)
tags like I'M DEAD, I'M DYING..<I really love tags like that!(I'm sorry)I get excited that you can feel for them so much, I really enjoy learning how people feel about my work, it's been fueling me to come up with more things much more eagerly. It gives me motivation power and energy, I've been quite low on them but I have lots of fun when I draw :) Of course, it's not like I want you all to die but you know, I totally like and see where it's coming from...so when I get them, I'm like: YES!! I did it! and grin a little. I'm glad you all liked it! I love drawing, and I love reading tags, maybe just as much sometimes(they make me feel quite floaty in a good way)
It's really nice how what you do and what I do can get across to each other despite the time and space zones, it's something that wouldn't have been easy without the internet, isn't it? I'm glad that something like this is possible and I'm here when it's available for me. And it's something I feel I want to bring up about time to time. It's hard to realize how other people feel sometimes unless you tell them, don't you. I'd like to say there's been things that's made me feel happy about when I'm here and it's been making me continue.
I hope you all have a great weekend~ stay safe and in good health too!
#random blabbering#even if I stop drawing for a fandom ;v;.. ahh I hope I could still see you guys!#the;; last chapter better be good because if it is I can draw more#if it isn't.. well I'm a creator who cares a lot about canon#it would certainly have a negative impact on me and my love can deflate quite a bit#rn..things are still a bit ambiguous for me and when it is.. I tend to hope#I never knew I could hope so much. this series taught me a lot about what kind of person I am for sure;;
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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with all these gaston crackships/rarepairs that are coming out lately it would be so fucking funny if he had a flig with all the main characters (ambar, nina, simon... hell luna too if you want) and they all know it except matteo
#mf would feel so betrayed once he finds out#and not because he's jealous or anything - or maybe yes (they kinda have a vibe between them if you get what i mean)#mainly because his best friend didn't tell him#gaston would 100% use “you didn't ask” with a shit-eating grin while shrugging his shoulder#he would have the time of his life making fun of matteo reaction lol#and matteo would also lowkey be insecure (understandable because gaston was probably a better boyfriend for all those people [real])#[from here on i'm gonna yap but like... YAP - get ready]#type of flings/situationships/whatever i think he had:#LUNA/GASTON : [barely a fling/ a kinda relationship (?)] - them just trying it out for the hell of it#they had a lot of fun and it strengthened their friendship#they never talk about it unless they're sure that they're by themselves#gaston sometimes reminiscences about it in front of others(to make luna panic/embarass)but in such a vague enough way that they don't get i#it always comes off as them play-fighting#it either happened before he and nina got together (which is what i'm running with for this post) or they did it after she left#because they were the closest to her and were the only people that could understand what it meant to lose nina#(luna also dated her in the past by this point)#GASTON/NINA: [literally canon and one of the main ships] so i don't have to explain it i guess#GASTON/SIMON: [was a “they were all in their feelings” during those moments - kind of deal]#that scene i reposted the other day is a good way to pinpoint when they started to actually eye eachothers /put a start to what they had#it ended two or three months later - don't know who put an end to it between them#but it wasn't a problem because they both had something else they wanted to focus on more - they're extremely chill about this#GASTON/AMBAR: [kinda the same - got to know eachother when they were kids and became extremely close (even tho it took A BIT since#even if gaston came from a good family ambar was still as standoffish as now (and also a bit shy even if she wouldn't admit it)]#gaston was the one that did the first step#at that point ambar actually never stopped to think about dating in general but especially him#but the idea of losing him as a friend for something so stupid as a relationship terrified her#he reassured her that whatever happened nothing between them would've changed#which was real but also not really#they ended up breaking up a year and a half later and became a bit awkward around eachothers for a bit (mostly because of ambar)#they're still cordial with eachothers
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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((
#now im just unable to concentrate on anything and feeling very worthless#ok gonna start rambling here a bit#vent? ->#i'm just not good at anything except drawing. everything is hard and i don't think i'm capable of getting a job and contributing to society#in any way except drawing. my self worth is being held almost entirely by my ability to draw.#but i'm also incredibly slow and unproductive and it's so hard sitting down and starting a drawing and finishing that drawing#drawing is the thing that makes me feel alive and feel good about myself so when i can't draw i just feel really awful#i just wish i could concentrate and work and be productive man. why do i have so much stuff going on in my brain. why is everything so hard#sadge 😔😔#ok gonna try to draw i hope something cool comes out or i'm throwing my computer out the window and playing videogames#oh also another neurologist once told me depression can't be caused by school#i'm pretty sure it can but idk im not a doctor#what is up with these neurologists man#i know it's gonna get better tho. life might suck but i *am* a teenager and it's only gonna go up from here.#im still learning about myself and stuff. also no school next year that's gonna be awesome#don't wanna end on a sad note bc life is good actually#and i'm fucking amazing at drawing
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