#and ben resents her for 'trapping' him

[marinerainbow]

If Poppy and Ben had a child, I imagine they'd have a son named Timmy (Timothy being his full first name).

Definitely not thinking about another angsty timeline with this information.

[burymeinblack13]

There’s a lot wrong with season 4 of The Umbrella Academy but I also wish there was more of an emphasis on the fact that the umbrellas LITERALLY LOST THEIR POWERS?!?

FOR 5 YEARS?!?

I wanna know more about that. How does that affect them?

I mean does luther find himself with more scrapes and bruises? He tries to pick up a couch and throws his back out because he can’t lift it

Does diego find himself more clumsy? He’s bumping into things more. Grace plays catch with him and he misses every throw

Alison hears someone playfully tell her that ‘they heard a rumour that there’s a new casting call’ and he blood runs cold

Does Klaus start off as the same adrenaline junkie? Until he gets more sick than he’s ever been, his body can’t handle everything in his system, when he truly realises his mortality. But then he realised the ghosts are gone.

Five comes to the realisation that he’s just a boy. His 60-odd aged mind even more trapped than it ever was. Is this the retirement he was wanting or is he now more on edge for the next earth shattering event?

(Sparrow) Ben is truly alone. His powers being the only thing left of what family he had and it’s gone. He’s surrounded by people who only know him through the lens of someone he isn’t.

And Viktor is ordinary. Again. Is he pleased with it? Does he still harbour some resentment? He moves to get a fresh start but he really can’t seem to start it with anyone. Is he emotionally distant-I mean quite literally every relationship he’s been in manages to get fucked up. Maybe he doesn’t even realise that he’s being cold?

I wish the show did more to show the long-standing effect of the loss of the powers that are apart of them!!

[fayes-fics]

A Helping Hand

2k Celebration Masterpost

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Modern AU. Benedict walks in on reader whilst she’s fantasising about him...

Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, masturbation, voyeurism, vaginal fingering, female orgasm.

Word Count: 2.9 K (hahah "250-word drabble")

Authors Note: Eighth in my 2k follower celebration "drabbles". This is a request fill for @silverhallow from their ask HERE. This went WAYYYYYY over a drabble, sorry, I tried to reign it in, I really did. Unbetaed. Enjoy! <3

The uttering of his name is what catches his attention. 

It’s muffled and distant to his ears as he quietly closes the front door. He's just here to visit his little sister El, but he knows some of her flatmates' work shifts, so he always enters quietly, almost furtive. Tucking the key into his pocket, he shakes his head, convinced it was just an auditory ghost. 

But then he hears it again, closer now that he has moved down the corridor. It’s female but sounds edged with desperation. The hair on the back of his neck prickles, suddenly filled with concern that someone may require assistance, trapped perhaps under some heavy furniture. The fact no one knows he is even in the flat doesn't occur to him.

_____

You wish you didn't. 

Want him as much as you do.

Benedict bloody Bridgerton.

He's your best friend’s older brother, never a good idea, but damn if he isn't every single thing you desire in a man. Tall, lithe, chestnut hair, hazy eyes, large, artistic hands and a troublesome crooked grin that makes butterflies erupt every time. Every. Damn. Time. And so, almost reluctantly, he is to be the star of your masturbatory fantasy tonight, indeed most nights lately. 

Freshly showered, you peel off your robe, turn down your bedside light to a faint glow, and climb into your newly made bed, savouring the clean scent and the fluffiness of your pillows. Choosing to lay right in the middle of your double bed, your hands start to wander over your body, thoughts of him, his smiling face, filling your mind. As your fingers brush your nipples, you can't help his name escaping your lips.

“Ben…” it's breathy and feels wonderful in your mouth as your mind swirls with the image burned into your retina. It’s of him getting out of the pool last summer, water sluicing down the slim toned lines of his body as he shook out his hair like some bloody model. You almost bit through your damn lip, trying to keep in the sigh.

Your hands wander lower, swirling patterns over your belly that make you giggle in that same coquettish way you do when he cracks a joke in your presence. Part of you resents him for making you so damn giggly, to begin with; part of you wants him to make you laugh every day forever.

Then your fingers slide between your legs, and you call his name for real now as you encounter slick wetness, which is entirely his fault. 

“Benedict…” you moan, louder this time, using his full name.

Suddenly overheated as you begin to make little circles with your middle finger, you throw back the covers around your ankles and screw your eyes shut, concentrating even harder on that mental Rolodex of memories of a man you should not be fantasising about. 

“Benedict…” There is no disguising your moan now. Or your apparent addiction to saying his name. A slight clench deep in your gut every time you do, just heightening every sensation.

_____

He pushes open the door, filled with concern.

And screeches to a halt.

Oh god. It's YOU.

He didn't know this was YOUR room.

And oh fuck you are entirely naked, eyes closed, and… holy shit, you are masturbating.

His entire being is haywire. Chemicals flood his system making his head pound and his chest restrict. And his blood flow is entirely redirected southwards.

If there is one person who has always been on his ‘danger, danger’ list for as long as he can remember, it's you. But you are his little sister's best friend, which somehow seems wrong. But now. Dammit, nothing in him can remember why that is such a bad idea. 

His eyes can't help sliding down your body, knowing how wrong it is to do this. To watch, to spy, to be a voyeur without your permission. And yet…. He doesn't stop. In fact, he does the opposite—slumping back onto the door so it accidentally clicks closed. Gaze roaming, drinking in your naked body, the line of your neck, the peak of your breasts, the flare of your hips, the shape of your legs as they writhe and oh god, the sound. The sound of your moans, your feet as they drag on the sheet, and best, or perhaps worst of all, the sound of your body, the slick wetness of your arousal as you finger yourself, dripping onto your hand.

“Benedict…..”

Oh FUCK. He is in trouble now—just throbbing hot and insistently against his fly. He shuts his eyes and tilts his head back, knowing it's wrong. His logical brain trying to fight its way in. It's possible that you could be thinking about a different Benedict. Yes, that’s it, he tells himself, trying desperately to calm his arousal. It's probably that Cumberbatch fellow she is all hot and bothered about. The thought it's not about him seems to work, shaking the hypnotic state, and he turns around and grabs the door handle, trying to escape silently without you realising. 

“Bridgerton… please,” you groan, muffled as you turn your head and bite your pillow, still oblivious to his presence.

His forehead hits the door. Well, that's fucked it. Now he couldn't leave even if he wanted to. Which he really, really doesn’t. He's just going to have to style this out, and hope you will accept his presence. He's trying to decide the best approach that isn't creepy when you call out, and his instincts just take over.

“Oh god, please make me come…” 

“I will,” he growls, whipping around to face you.

And all movement in the bed ceases.

_____

Your eyes fly open, and for a split second, you blink, utterly nonplussed; your fantasy object appears to have actualised by your bedroom door.

Then he moves, and you squeal, realising that it is very much not a mirage. That is Benedict. The real Benedict.

You grab at the duvet around your ankles and scramble under it. 

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god!!!

How the fuck are you going to explain this???

Calling his name and…. Wait. 

Did he say….?

You peek out from under the covers, and he is still there. One pace closer but not invading your space.

“Wh… what are you doing here?” 

“I heard my name… I thought maybe someone needed help…” he seems sheepish.

I do! I do need help, your mind screams; I need those long fingers inside me!

You pull down the cover a little more so your face is visible. “Did you…?” You can't even bring yourself to complete the question.

“Yes, I saw, and I am so sorry,” he offers mutely, contrite. “I genuinely didn't mean to invade your privacy,” his tone sincere.

You sit up a little, your gaze falling to his jeans and holy fuck, he is aroused. Very aroused. 

Is there a chance?! He wants you back?

“Don't be,” you try for nonchalance, unable to look away from the outline in the denim, your mouth salivating.

“Do you want some help?” his ask is so soft that for a moment, you swear you misheard, but your gaze cuts to his face, and his eyes are burning intensely, pupils blown. 

“Yes, please,” you murmur back without thought. The warm smile that spreads across his face makes your heart gallop.

“Lay back down,” he says; the tone has changed. It's husky and deeper, and oh god, yes, please. “Pull down the covers.”

You do as bidden, your frame almost shaking with victory and apprehension as he takes a seat on the bed next to you.

“Touch me.” 

It's out of your lips before you can stop it. Then an entirely different, wolfish grin breaks out.

“Where?” he challenges.

“Anywhere…” you offer, desperate for his hands on your body.

He is staring at you like you are a buffet of delicious options; all you can do is lay there, breathing unevenly, awaiting his choice. When fingertips brush the inside of your wrist, you want to swoon. It's light, almost imperceptible, causing a shiver to run down your spine; goosebumps breaking out all over your limbs. You meet his fiery gaze and have to bite your lip as those warm fingers make their way slowly up the sensitive skin of your inner forearm, then onto your bicep. The tease of it is completely enthralling. When he reaches your shoulder, he changes to a drag of his palm as he maps your clavicle.

“May I kiss you?” he asks so sweetly that something warm blooms in your chest.

“Please…” your response soft.

He leans in, then his lips meet yours and something inside you melts, bends, alters. It’s chaste at first, but your hunger for him is barely slaked, so when you open your lips, and his tongue brushes yours, the atmosphere changes. He senses your need, and while you kiss ferociously, over and over, his hand slides to cup your breast. He flicks the pad of his thumb over your nipple, making you cry out into his mouth. Your own body shocking you, how much that touch is a lightning rod straight to your core.

“How do you want me to be?” he murmurs as he drops kisses across your cheek.

“What do you mean?” your voice unfocussed, pressing up into his touch, his thumb still brushing teasingly over your pebbled nipple.

“Do you like silence or talking? Light touches or a firm hand? Praise or be called a bad girl? Do you like to be treated like a precious jewel or bossed around?” the casual way he asks hot into your ear, his lips catching your earlobe, makes your mind boggle. No one has ever asked what you want; they just sort of guessed and hoped you liked it. Or had no idea how do to anything different to what they did.

“I…” you stutter; all of the above are the words blinking like a neon sign in your mind.

_____

He chuckles outwardly at your lack of an answer but inwardly is indignant at every man who has ever been with you and not thought to ask.

“How about I try some things, and you tell me if you like them?” he suggests, enjoying your enthusiastic nodding, which makes him chuckle again, feeling you shiver under him as the vibration moves from his chest into you. So very responsive.

“What about you? Your preferences?” you ask belatedly with closed eyes as his lips map the column of your neck, tasting your shower gel and the warmth there, his thumb delighting in circling your areola.

“Irrelevant,” he dismisses into your skin, then pulls away to clarify after feeling your slight pout against his forehead. “Tonight, let's focus on your pleasure. Then if you enjoy yourself, perhaps we can discuss mine another time?”

He watches as you exhale a shaky, almost disbelieving okay, your stare locked on his. Again he is almost angry on your behalf that this appears to be the first time someone has offered you something expecting nothing in return. Part of him wants to yell at you for accepting mediocrity; part of him - the competitive, possessive part - wants to make this so good you never desire another man.

He kisses a line from your neck to your breast, feeling your weighted, anticipatory stare as he runs his nose lightly over your nipple before drawing it into his mouth, suckling hard, tasting the sweetness of your skin, the puffiness under his lips. Victory crests in his veins as your hand flies into his hair, silently asking for more, pushing up into his mouth. As he suckles, he runs a hand down your body, a firmer touch over your tummy that you appear to appreciate, and he can feel your pulse and breaths quickening under him as his destination becomes apparent.

“Now you were already so occupied here when I entered…” he rumbles into your breast, his fingers slipping between your thighs, which he is pleased to note seem to fall open on instinct. He revels in your sharp inhale and moans as he ploughs his fingers into your soaked flesh without a moment's hesitation. The viscous heat making his cock throb hard in his jeans. “Wow,” he breathes, kissing over to your other breast, “you are absolutely soaking, aren't you?”

It's rhetorical, but you appear incapable of answering anyway, just squirming into his touch, almost as if you want more and less all at once. 

“Harder,” you implore mutely, and he looks up from your breast.

“What was that?” he teases, watching micro-expressions of desire and abashment flutter over your features.

“Touch me, go harder,” you puff, almost cringing, which he happens to find utterly charming.

“Now we are getting somewhere…” he smirks, the press of his fingers becoming more determined. Finding your swollen clit with unerring precision and teasing flicks over it. The engorged nub feels delightful under the pads of his fingers; he has to tamp down the urge to pinch it and make you scream—for another time, perhaps.

He definitely needs to be the best you've ever had, a burning need under his ribs.

_____

You mutter nonsense and his name as he sucks on your nipple and nudges your clit at just the right speed to make you burn hot, mouth going slack, eyes fluttering shut.

“That’s it,” he murmurs into you, something about the praising tone firing your synapses. 

“Don’t stop,” your voice wrecked, almost a sob, as you feel yourself ascending an invisible ladder. “Please, just don’t stop.”

“I won't,” he promises duskily, “in fact…..”

And that is all the warning you get before he drives two fingers inside your weeping pussy, and you almost rocket off the bed. Those long elegant fingers reaching places you never have or could, the swell of his knuckles pressing your walls open. It's even better than you ever imagined. 

You chant his name and grip his arm, loving the flex of tendons as he rhythmically rocks into you. He watches you as you spiral, his eyes sparkling in the low lamplight. Being his sole focus makes everything melt away, turning molten and sweet, like warm toffee. 

Needing to reciprocate in some way, make him as unleashed as you, your hand falls instinctively to his lap and grasps his rigid cock. He groans loudly, his fingers inside you flexing, his teeth scraping your breasts, lighting a fire over your skin. 

He senses your urgency, your need for more, to push you higher. So his motions get stronger, firmer; he snags your nipple between his teeth and tugs gently, his thumb presses harder onto your clit, circling faster as his fingers start to hook and graze your walls, knowing when he has reached a sensitive spot by the flex of your fingers around his clothed cock and your biting of your lip.

“That's it, good girl,” he murmurs, moving up to capture your lips with a searing kiss. 

His other hand, which has been taking his weight on the mattress next to you, moves to cup the back of your neck, pull you up off the pillow slightly, grasping the hair at the base of your skull. Not painfully, just enough to heighten things.

“Look at me,” he demands gruffly, and you do, panting and mouth slightly agape, his eyes hungry and expression proud as you dangle so close to a precipice. “You look breathtaking, untamed, wild; I want to fuck you so hard you scream my name,” he confesses in more of a snarl than words, diving in for another kiss.

“Please….” you beg, uncertain what for, except more.

No one has been this primal with you before, meeting a need you didn't even know you had. Your cerebral processes taking a backseat, just rooted in your body and strung out on a tide of chemicals and sensations.

A few more moves of his fingers and you are palpitating inside; the pressure breaking like a dam, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body, so much he has to angle himself over you to hold you down as your muscles convulse; he has to push hard to keep his fingers inside you as you clench and release with a strength that makes him growl. You are crying out so loud the hand entwined in your hair moves and clamps over your mouth, gagging you and hushing you, leaning into your cheek with hot breaths, reminding you there are others in this flat, that you need to be quieter. Although all the while, as he says it, you can see the trace of smug hubris on his face that he is the cause. It makes you want to suck those fingers between your lips and bite him. 

As you flop, still panting, he withdraws his fingers and, just to tease, slides them into his mouth as you watch, disbelieving, clenching around nothing as his face contorts into ecstasy at your taste. Then he kisses you deeply, rolling your own flavour onto your tongue as his hands draw delicate lines over your torso.

“How was that?” he smirks as he pulls away. 

Your eyes are still closed from the kiss, suddenly awash with a drowsy sated pull deep in your being. Unfussed with words, in response, you move the hand idly twisted in his lap and grab his cock again, squeezing hard. 

“Stop that,” he groans but doesn't bat your hand away; he pushes into it, in fact. 

You just ghost a smile, eyes still closed, and lick your lips, pressing the flat of your palm against his length.

“Don't make me come in my underwear like a teenage boy,” he hums, tinged with recklessness.

“Take them off then,” your goad in a whisper, eyes popping open and meeting his, re-energised by the feral hunger you find there.

“Lock. The. Door.” he orders slowly and deadly, staring you down.

You can’t scramble for the door fast enough.

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @mlovesbridgerton @m-rae23

[princesspastel8]

Chapter 75

Third POV

"Sir, what are we supposed to do now?" Kate questions, her voice lace with irritation.

Toby is leaning against the wall next to the door, arms crossed over his chest. It's been two weeks now. Eboni has shown no signs of waking up, still trapped in her vegetable like state. Due to this, she has been taking most of the supplies saved up - the most being healing serum. Healing serum is only used when an injury, such as a broken bone, takes longer to heal and affects the proxy's chance of taking more missions.

So after the situation with Eboni, Slenderman has become more demanding- sending his proxies on mission after mission. These missions become more and more dangerous thanks to Zalgo somehow becoming more powerful. No one understands how, nor why. That's what Slenderman has been doing each time he leaves the mansion for long periods of time - trying to figure out what is making Zalgo so strong in such little time?

"Her state is draining all of our supplies. It would take months for X virus & Ej to create more batches to sustain us." Kate said, motioning to her broken arm in a case.

Toby scoffs, looking at Kate. "S-So, what do you expect h-him to do? Cut Eboni off l-life support?"

"Yes! She's practically dead! There's no reason to keep her on life support! It's a waste!"

"Jeff would never allow it. He'd kill you before you pull the plug, and you know it. We a-all know it. H-He isn't who he u-used to be."

The room falls silent at Toby's words. Yes, it's true that Jeff isn't who he used to be. He's become more aggressive, more threatening, and far more dangerous. He's a ticking time bomb, snapping at anyone who so much, as says Eboni's name. He hasn't been taking proper care of himself either. He spends every day in Eboni's hospital room, watching her like a hawk.

Sometimes, he'll whisper pleas, begging her to wake up. Other times, he's yelling all types of profanities, blaming her for his unbearable pain- calling her selfish on multiple occasions. He barely eats, drinking his days away. Alcohol has become his new high. Drinking seems to be his only form of escaping his pain. The only time he's able to sleep peacefully is when the drinks knock him out cold.

Nightmares plagues him. Trying to sleep without a drink is impossible. Consistently seeing his hands stained in her blood. The visuals of the bullets going through her, the blood spattering into his face. His nightmares make those events more extreme, going as far as to mock him using her voice. Spurring hateful words at him. Things he'd always say but failed to do.

The atmosphere within the mansion has shifted as well. Taylor hangs out more with Jane & Clockwork, replacing Nina, who is now a mindless doll awaiting orders. Nobody likes them. Nobody speaks to them unless told or forced to. Everyone holds a disdain towards those three. Rather than mourning Eboni's lost, they never miss a beat on praising the fact Eboni is down under.

Helen has lost count on the many times he almost attacked them, Dina and others being forced to hold him back. It's a side of helen that no one ever thought he had. A side of rage. BEN & EJ seem to be doing worse. They've met Eboni before her move to the mansion. She became like a sister to them. It seems that a part of them went with her. EJ holds so much guilt for not being able to save her. He truly tried his best, keeping his composure even after realizing there was nothing he could do.

He has a feeling that Jeff resents him. Jeff has never asked nor begged for a promise to be kept so desperately. Jeff became vulnerable with him for the first time since knowing each other, and he couldn't keep his promise. Ani tells him time and time again that he isn't to blame. No one is to blame but Zalgo.

Speaking of Zalgo, Luna is now on her way to Slenderman's office. Playing both sides has been straining her, but it's all coming together. Her plan to take down her father is finally being set in motion. It's unfortunate that Eboni's sacrifice had to come before his death but also plays a great part in her plan.

Slenderman sighs heavily, patiently waiting for Luna to arrive. Her answer to his many questions regarding Zalgo will determine if he'll allow Eboni to continue on life support. With those thoughts, a knock sounds at the door.

Toby goes to open it, smiling softly as his dull eyes lighten at the sight of Luna. He leans down to kiss her cheek before allowing her inside and closing the door. Luna steps forward, taking a seat in front of his desk. She smiles, greeting the faceless ceature.

"Good evening."

"Likewise. We are both aware of why you're here, so let's cut to the chase."

"Right. I know of the situation with Eboni using most of your supplies & Zalgo growing stronger. For now, I request that you continue with Eboni's treatment & no longer pursuing Zalgo."

These requirements leave Slenderman speechless & Kate frustrated. "Continue her treatment? You want us to continue treatment on a dead girl?! Sir, you can't quite possibly be considering her request! And stop pursuing Zalgo? Our job is to collect souls to empower you! Why would -"

"Sh-Shut up and let her finish." Toby said darkly, warning Kate.

"Eboni isn't dead." Luna states boldly, tilting her head at Kate and smiles.

"...Impossible! She can't breathe on her own. Her brain isn't active. How is she -"

Before Kate can finish, a hatchet comes flying - almost slicing into her head. The girl dodges just in time, Slenderman's tendril catching the weapon while facing Toby.

Slenderman narrows his eyes at Toby, returning the weapon to his holster on the Male's back. "Watch yourself, Toby. I will not have bloodshed in my office."

"I-I warned her... she didn't listen sir." Toby said robotically, reaching to throw it again, but Luna uses her magic to keep him in place.

"Toby...look at me."

And he does, feeling his raging over-protectiveness calm down almost instantly. He grunts, Luna releasing her hold on him. Toby moves to sit next to Luna, laying his head on her lap, and closes his eyes - the witch now running her fingers through his hair. Kate and Slenderman are taken aback by these actions but wait for her to continue speaking.

"Her soul is still inside her body. The serum is keeping her alive, yes, but all Eboni needs is a bit of a supernatural charge - I unfortunately don't have the power to do that yet. However, I do have the power to create an unlimited supply of healing serum."

"No way. X virus & EJ spent two years creating and perfecting the formula with the little materials and supplies they've managed to gather. How could you possibly make the serum become unlimited?" Kate questions instantly, Slenderman waiting for Luna to continue.

The witch smiles, shaking her head. "Magic has no limitations."

Kate rolls her eyes, knowing she won't be getting an answer. "Then what about -"

"Zalgo played himself. Yes, he put a curse over Eboni's life, but he ordered the hit. My father grew stronger from Amara & Damien's death only because he didn't fully get his hands dirty. Yes, he cursed them, but ultimately, it was Damien's family that did the setup. With Eboni, he intentionally interfered instead of letting the world decision on its own."

"What advantage does that give me?" Slenderman questions.

"Zalgo can't curse people. It's a gamble. His words may seem absolute, but he's given a fifty fifty chance of the curse playing through or not. It either pulls through and makes him stronger or falls flat and weakens him. Yes, he appears to be stronger, but it isn't because of Eboni. It's due to the mass amount of souls I've collected for him over the years."

"So why should slenderman not pursue Zalgo when he's clearly in this weaken state?" Kate questions.

"That's it. He isn't weakened. He's far more powerful than ever. But in a year from now, he'll be at his lowest. As long as Eboni is still in this half alive half dead state, he will become weaker and weaker. Pulling the plug on Eboni will be the wworstdecision you could make for all of us."

Meanwhile, during this important meeting, Jeff is in Eboni's hospital room- staring aimlessly at the wall with a bottle of liquor in hand. He stinks, smelling like alcohol & musk. His hair is greasy from not having washed it, and his blonde roots are starting to show. He spends his days in here. He's done nothing but cry over Eboni, scream over Eboni, and pass out next to her - holding her hand or resting his head on her hand. He can't part from her, no matter how hard EJ & BEN make him try.

Liu walks into the room, EJ & BEN in tow. They know how hostile Liu can get, and triggering Jeff while in this state is an extremely bad idea. The homicidal killer tilts his head, leaning against the wall crossing his arms. He takes in the sight before him, liquor & vodka bottles littering all around the bed and his brother in such a low- defended state.

"Mhm...trouble in paradise?"

The room is suddenly filled with a dark tension that puts BEN & EJ on edge. They watch as Jeff clocks his head back, eyes slowly moving to stare at Liu. He doesn't move, staying in his threatening pose, waiting for Liu to say something else.

"Looks like everyone was right. You do ruin everything you tou-"

An empty bottle is thrown right at Liu, barely giving him time to dodge it. Jeff stands, stumbling a bit due to his drunken state. He glares at Liu, waiting for him to speak again - waiting for him to give a great reason to kill him.

"Look at what you did, Jeff. You took my advice and actually killed her! You took your eyes off of her for a second and she fucking died!" He laughs, eyes wide and manic. "You listened to your little brother. She was worthless for you Jeff, completely useless. But it's okay! She deserved this, you deserve better. You deserve m-"

Crash!

Punch!

CRACK-

Jeff moves too fast for BEN & EJ to stop him. He broke the bottle in his hand, the rest of the drink spilling to the floor. He lunges at Liu, punching him in his nose - breaking it again. Liu stumbles back, falling onto the ground as Jeff tackles him. He raises the broken bottle in the air, fully prepared to kill his brother.

But green chains wrap around his wrist. Jeff tilts his head at BEN, giving Liu time to throw his older brother off of him. He raises his hand to his broken nose, laughing at the blood on his fingers. He stands, feeling Sully try to surface.

"Oh wow....you really tried to kill me..." Liu frowns.

"No one... disrespects...my girl...and lives." Jeff threatens horsely, about to pounce on BEN until the doors swing open.

Slenderman wraps Jeff with his tendrils, holding him in place. The faceless man doesn't bother questioning anyone, considering Liu is there among them. Luna steps through, frowning at the poor state Jeff is in. She moves closer to Eboni, placing her hand on her forehead - a sky blue hue glowing from her palms.

Jeff eyes widen, thrashing around in Slenderman's hold. "WHAT IS SHE DOING!? GET AWAY FROM HER!" he shouts in hysterics.

Luna looks at him, her eyes glowing brightly, and she smiles. "Do you wish to speak with her? Her soul is still inside...I can pull her out half way so you two can talk...No one is pulling the plug Jeff, but this is the one and only time I'll be able to do this."

Jeff relaxes only slightly, Slenderman letting him go. The smiling killer stumbles forward, moving to sit down on the opposite side of Luna. The witch nods her head, putting her magic to use.

••••

Void. It is an endless pool of darkness. Eboni has no idea how long she's been here. She remembers getting shot once, but after that, it's blank. She can't hear anything. She can't feel anything. Only see-

Only watching.

Her mother is with her. Keeping her company and answering any questions she may have. Amara watches on, tilting her head at the sight of Jeff. He truly is a wreck without her daughter.

"It's ashamed Zalgo gotten to you too." She said, though smiles. "Your father and I miss you."

"Mhm. I bet." Eboni said boredly, eyes souly on Jeff's weeping face.

"Eboni, I apologized to you many times. I know you love him, but your father and I think it's a great time for you to come with us..."

"NO!" She shouts at her mother. "I'm not leaving with you. If something were to happen before meeting Jeff... Maybe during that month when he was gone - I would've left with you, but now... I can't leave him, mom. This has nothing to do with who you actually are, and I don't care. I...can't leave him, mom. Not like this.." Eboni said, turning back to the screen on a continuous loop of her memories with Jeff only to show his tear stricken face.

"Then why take those bullets, hm? You claim to love him, sweetheart, but you and I both know it's more than that." Amara challenges. "You're as selfish as I am. You're just as obsessed with him as I am your father. If Damien were to die first, I would've killed myself just to be with him. You would've done the same if those bullets hit Jeff. Am I wrong?"

Eboni bites her tongue, struggling to keep herself from snapping at her mother. They truly are too much alike. Eboni knew what she was doing. She knew if Jeff died that night, she'd be taking her life the following day. Her home is with Jeff. Her entire world is Jeff. Without him, she'd have nothing else to live for. Life would have no meaning. Her thirst for revenge wouldn't be enough.

But Jeff, he's stronger emotionally, physically, and especially mentally. Though he's broken down in his pit of despair, his anger will soon consume him - washing away all guilt & replacing it with revenge. He has the strength to live on even after revenge is taken. Jeff the Killer is far too prideful to take his own life.

Yes, it was selfish of Eboni-, but she doesn't regret her decision, even now - witnessing Jeff crumble. However, her vision is distorted by a blinding blue light shining and filling the darken void with light. Luna appears, holding her hand out towards Eboni.

"...what the hell? How are you -"

"My time is limited. Do you wish to speak with Jeff?"

"Yes! Hell yes, I do! Are you bringing me back? We can be together again!?" Eboni said, getting her hopes up far too soon.

"Only your soul will be shown to everyone. I won't be able to wake you up until two years from now." Luns explains quickly. "So please, take my hand. Jeff needs to hear from you....more than ever."

So Eboni does, taking Luna's hand as the light becomes brighter. The light suddenly dims, giving her a chance to open her eyes. The girl sits up, feeling lightweight yet heavy at the same time. She turns her head, eyes widening as tears begin to form.

".....Jeff?"

Her voice, so faint-, almost a whisper. He raises his head, eyes widening as they well with tears. Eboni, his girl...her soul - speaking to him. The sight...is the most beautiful he's seen her. She's glowing, yet the glow is so faint but blinding. He stands, slowly reaching forward. He needs to touch her and feel her close again.

Jeff gently touches her cheek, the connection distance, ghostly. He wraps his arms around her, Eboni doing the same with the little strength she's given. The killer cries out, clutching onto her for dear life - the warmth melting the coolness of his skin.

"You bitch! You fucking bitch! Any idea what you put me through!? Those were meant for me! Not you! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STILL BE HERE!" Jeff shouts, letting his pain spill for all to see. "You...you selfish little shit..." he whispers, body trembling from his chest wracking sobs.

Eboni doesn't say anything, smiling softly as her glistening tears fall - each tear drop disappears once off her face. When Jeff doesn't get a response, he pulls away shouting in her face. "SAY SOMETHING!"

"I'm sorry..." her voice is low, a ghostly wind passing through his ears. "I know I'm selfish... I know they were meant for you, but Jeff....if this were you on this bed- I'd really be dead."

Jeff shakes his head, "no the fuck you wouldn't...you'd be alive...pregnant...with my damn kid..."

Eboni's eyes widen at the news. She had left a bit off before this incident, but she paid no mind to it. She had no idea she was pregnant. Does that change things? No. She wouldn't want to deal with a baby without Jeff by her side through it all. The thought of baring his children never came to mind, but the thought also didn't bother her has much. This... must be how her mother felt pertaining to her father & the subject of having kids.

"I'm too weak... I'd always be too weak compared to you, Jeff. Your will is stronger. You're more headstrong. You....are able to continue leaving without me near you. I know you -"

Jeff pulls away, shaking his head as he falls onto his knees- lying his head onto her lap as he grips her fading hands. "YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT- FUCK!" he cries, voice withering.

"You don't fucking get it Eboni. I don't think you ever did. I manipulated you. I controlled you. I fucking destroyed you. I did everything I could to make sure you only relied on me. I showed you just how much you'd need me. I showed you just how much better I am than the fuckers you got close to. I fucked with your damn psyche so all you'd think about was me. You think I'd waste all that time on any random bitch? You really think I'd do this shit all over again with someone else? You really think I'd let you leave me after all the hard work I put into you!? I WAS AFRAID TO LOSE SOMEONE I GOT SO ATTACHED YOU!"

"Jeff I'm-"

"SHUT UP! FUCK! YOU'RE ALL I THINK ABOUT NOW! I can't get you out of my head no matter how many drinks I take! You're....Y-You're everywhere. In my dreams... when I close my eyes...in the corner of any room I'm in that isn't here. You're voice...your laugh...your fucking eyes....you didn't have to go. You didn't deserve this...Just come back. Just come back already! I can't keep functioning....I..." he gulps, struggling to admit this. For the first time in his life he- "....I fucking need you...I..I-I love you. So just wake up...come back...please Eboni just come back..."

This is what he's been afraid of. This is why the smiling killer faught tooth and nail to keep Eboni close to his hip. He's grown attached, so much so that having her gone like this leaves him so empty. He isn't used to this, this feeling of deep loss. The freedom he felt, his breath of fresh air, his new more fulfilling excitement in life gone, within an instant. Jeff prided himself on not having a weakness, throwing caution into the wind. Nothing else mattered, but the fun he'd make & experience for himself.

He never knew he was missing something, but he knew he needed a newfound sense of freedom, control & dominance. He never knew this need would come in the form of a person. He never knew what he was missing was Eboni. She's.....irreplaceable.

Eboni leans down, moving her hands and places both of them on her cheeks. She trances the outline of his cut smile, leaning further down. She can feel her connection quickly fading, her light dimming quickly. She kisses his tears, moving to his lips. The kiss is faint, like a feathery touch - almost nonexistent, but enough to soothe the guilt & sorrow gripping Jeff's heart.

"Two years Jeff....wait for me...for two years." Eboni said, her voice now a low echo.

"I can't hold the connection much longer. Only a few seconds left." Luna said, stuck in a trance fixed state.

"What!? Two years!? Eboni, I can't wait that long! What am I supposed to do!? Princess I-"

"You can. And you will." She told him gently, leaving trails of kisses along his cut smile. "You'll watch over me. You'll continue to collect souls. You'll take care & protect my body. You'll.....avenge me."

"A-And after? And after all that, then what?!"

"I'll come home. I'll wake up, and I'll never leave your side. So please Jeff....just wait for me. I....love....you.."

Her light dims, her soul disappearing back into her body - fragments of her words still lingering in Jeff's ears. He looks at her body, grabbing her hand, and cries onto it. "Damnit....you bitch! FINE! I'll wait! I'll fucking wait...I...I love you too princess..."

He continues to cry, vowing that this will be the last time he'll weep over Eboni like this. She said he's strong, so he'll be strong. He'll live. He'll do everything she instructed him to do. He'll swallow the loneliness he may feel. This time, he'll protect her and wait.

Jeff will wait, no matter how long it takes....

Just to see her smile.

To hear her laugh.

To see those honey brown eyes again.

[myalchod]

AU where Rose Harvey is both alive and well and still with Ben post-Aster Dell 😌

But is it really an AU? Is it really? I guess we'll never know. Thanks, showrunners. 😒

1. She knows there are things he saw during his time in Rosalind’s battalion that she won’t ever be able to understand, because she's been a soldier but the battalion was a different thing entirely. They'd always talked in the past, though, sharing as much as they could; that promise had been in their wedding vows, codifying something she'd always thought they were in perfect accord on ... but the man who comes back from the war is not the man who swore to always open his heart to her. (She is not sure if the woman he finds waiting is the same, either, though she does not examine that thought too closely.)

2. They had talked about having children when the war was over. Her pregnancy in its final years is unplanned, the failure you never think will happen to you of all people, and she thinks long and hard before deciding to keep it. The why is more complicated, a thing she isn't entirely sure she understands sometimes, but once she decides that is that, and she does not know if he is relieved or resentful when she leaves the front lines.

3. She has made herself a home and a life by the time he comes back, battered and bruised but with the truest wounds inside. There is space for herself and the son who clings to her leg and looks at him with uncomprehending eyes and the infant who does not know hands that had once been warm and steady and always so ready to reach. He tries to fit into it, and she tries to make space for him too, and for a few years it very nearly works. But their home is full of ghosts and secrets and unspoken wounds, hers as well as the multitudes that have followed him back, and by the end their fracturing feels all but inevitable.

4. “I’m your wife!” she all but screams at him, when he says that he can’t explain things to her for what feels like the hundredth, thousandth, millionth time. It would be easier, she thinks, if he were to explode in response and they could give vent to all that remains unspoken, but he only looks at her like some sad kicked animal and that just makes her more irritated in turn. How dare he, when she keeps reaching and reaching and he only withdraws into his secrets and into himself? She knows he is hurt, but what is she to do about it when he won’t let her in? (What is she to do when she has her own wounds and pain and scars and it feels like he doesn’t even see them? What is she to do when she shares a house and a family and a life with a stranger?)

5. “I still love the man I married,” is what she tells him when he finds her packing a bag, “but that's not the person I see in front of me — and I have to take care of myself, Ben. No one else here will do it.” (He has Farah and Saul, both as changed as he is, bound together in their shared secrets. She has no one within Alfea’s borders and she needs someone to turn to, someone who can help her find her footing again. She can’t wait any longer.) “I love you,” he says, like it can solve things, but she can see that he believes it as little as she does right now, no matter what they both might want. (She doesn't tell him that there are days when she looks in the mirror and doesn't recognise herself either. She may not have seen the same parts of the war that he did, but it left her no less changed.)

6. Distance helps. She has to be Rose before she can be anything else — before she can support anyone else — and without having to worry about what she is for others, she can for once focus on herself first of all. She hopes he can learn the same lesson, though she is doubtful when he remains trapped by a past he cannot seem to let go of. But, however much they both do or do not change, the space makes things easier for her, and for now, it’s what she needs.

7. There was a time when he had meant home to her, and she had been the same to him. She hopes, despite all that has happened, that some day she will be able to find her way back home again, whatever that ends up meaning.

[ ask me another ] [ all answers ]

[sagetheenbymage]

HI SAGE!

Okay so. I was thinking about how it seems that Ian has better chemistry with Addison than her actual fiancé. Working off of that, I'm thinking of writing a fic where it turns out that Ben and Addison, after years of leaping (and after Ben returns home), decide that they no longer work as a domestic partnership. The parting is a sad but there is no anger or resentment; they agree that they are different people now who don't work together as they ought to, and that after they both take some time off, they can at least be civil to each other at work, and maybe rebuild their friendship. After a respectful half-year, Ian comes to Ben to ask if them asking Addison out would cause drama. Ben says that it would hurt, but it would be unfair for him to cause drama or demand that Addison never falls in love again. Ultimately he gives his... blessing, for lack of a better word, by saying that he will not allow his feelings on the matter to effect his relationship with either of them. He tells them that he was already so glad that Ian was there for her as a friend before Ben could be, and that he knows they'll be good for each other. An hour later, he has a similar conversation with Addison, who appears to be completely unaware that Ian's been looking at her with a totally in love expression for months now. A month later, and Ben's tired of Ian and Addison pining at each other. Magic is tired of Ian and Addison pining at each other. Jenn is tired of Ian and Addison pining at each other. Janice disappears because she is sick of the mutual pining. And neither of them have spoken to each other. Eventually, it's Ben of all people who traps the pair into talking it out.

I wanted to know your thoughts on this?

UGH, I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ARE YOU KIDDING??

I’ve heard people talk about how Ian & Addison have more chemistry then Addison & Ben and honestly…they’re not wrong.

OKAY, OKAY, IM ALREADY BURSTING WITH IDEAS HOLY SHIT.

I’m thinking…longfic slow burn romance, it would be my first longfic, and I’d probably post it on ao3 if I were to guess.

it might take me a bit since it is a long fic…I’m currently in Hawaii, (which is like, amazing, I went to a luau last night and it was incredible!!) ANYWAY

I might get started on Tuesday if I were to guess…if that’s OK with you of course? I won’t start it until you give me the go ahead because it is you’re idea, (and of course I’ll give you credits in the summary.)

[zepskies]

IKR? He really should've called, or at least texted. 🙄

Hahaha that's the EXACT scene I had in mind, especially in her response:

You rolled your eyes, but a smile threatened to take over your frown as he pulled you flush against him, trapping your hands against his broad chest. You found purchase on the hard fabric of his uniform.  “You’re so gross,” you said.

LOL the Sid/Nancy/Churchill exchange was one of my favorite parts to write here in Part 1. So glad you liked those lines! 😂😂

Oh my goodness, this is beautiful and really shows the character growth that Ben has gone through while still remaining true to who he is.

Aww thank you, lovely! That's exactly what I was going for. Even when he's being a grumpy grump, he's showing his progress loll. And adding to his backstory was so fun! Christmas in particular can be a time for reflection on the past, and I thought it would be interesting to have him remember things more honestly, without it all shaded by his ego and resentment -- that it wasn't all black and white with his family (in particular his father).

Getting to your Part 2 comments soon!

Love Actually - Part 1

Paring: Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader

Summary: Ben gets in late on Christmas Eve with a Grinch-like attitude, but you’re determined to force some holiday cheer into his system.  

AN: Here’s my last entry for the TGWRC: Christmas in July event! It’s set in the same world as “Break Me Down,” and set before “Checkerboard.” But this can be read as a stand-alone! Hope you enjoy…

Theme: Christmas movies Prompt: “That’s a poor excuse for a tree.” 

Word Count: 3,100 Tags/Warnings: SB being himself, wee bit of angst, potential fluff overload! 

Part 1: "Humbug"

He was late. 

It was Christmas Eve, and your boyfriend was late. 

With a large bowl of popcorn in your lap, you sunk further into your favorite corner of the couch, drumming your nails on its arm. 

Your favorite Christmas movie played on the ridiculously large flatscreen Ben had insisted on when you two moved into this apartment. But you couldn’t get into the story like you normally would.

It was the first Christmas you and Ben were spending together since he’d started working with, instead of against Supe Affairs and the CIA. In fact, he was on an extended mission—hunting down a rogue supe in Idaho, of all places.

Freakin’ Idaho. Goddamn potatoes, you thought irrationally, shoving another handful of popcorn into your mouth.  

While he’d been gone, you went all out in decorating the apartment: red and white candles, stockings, various ornaments, multicolored string lights, and poinsettias. You’d even found a nice little tree that fit in the only free corner of the living room.

Well, you’d had to rearrange some furniture to make that happen, but in the end you’d succeeded. It felt like you were living at the bottom of a snow globe.

You hadn’t heard from Ben at all in over two weeks. The day he left you outside your office in the Surveillance department replayed often in your mind.

Two weeks ago…

“Don’t give me that face, baby doll.” 

Ben quirked a smile at your concerned frown, and he propped a gentle fist under your chin. You crossed your arms.  

You knew he had to go. Butcher and the rest of the guys were waiting outside the S.A. office. And you were proud of him for what he was doing, genuinely trying to put in the work on this “hero” thing. But you didn’t have to like the timing. It was only two weeks until Christmas.

“Fine,” you agreed. “Just get this guy quick. I don’t want to hear my aunt’s shady-ass sniping. Every time I show up to a family gathering by myself, she starts plotting my arranged marriage to her fucking pediatrist, her divorce attorney—mind the irony there—or even the guy who packages meat at the grocery store—” 

“All right, Christ. I’ll be back in fucking time,” said Ben. He grabbed your arms to stop your verbal flapping. Then with a grin, his hands moved to the curve of your waist, down to get a healthy grip of your ass. 

“’Sides, I’m the only one flingin’ meat around here,” he said with a deepening smirk. 

You rolled your eyes, but a smile threatened to take over your frown as he pulled you flush against him, trapping your hands against his broad chest. You found purchase on the hard fabric of his uniform. 

“You’re so gross,” you said. But you pulled him down for a searing kiss. If you weren’t going to see his handsome face for a while, then you were going to make the most of this moment. 

And it seemed your boyfriend felt the same way; his arms wrapped around your frame like steel bands. Your fingers swept through his hair as your tongue slipped into his mouth, making his grip on you tighten with a pleased hum. 

“Oi! Sid and fuckin’ Nancy,” Butcher called from down the hall. “Got a fucking job to do. Today, if you don’t mind.”

Ben broke away from you, just enough to frown in irritation over your head. 

“Calm your fucking tits, Churchill. I’ll leave when I’m good and damn ready.”

You couldn’t help but giggle into his chest.

Now, it was quite literally hours away from Christmas Day. 

You would be seeing your family tomorrow, regardless. You and Ben were supposed to go to your mother’s house for dinner. But you were starting to think that he might not make it tonight, let alone tomorrow. 

And if you had to deal with your aunt nosing into your personal business again, your hand might just “slip” while pouring yourself a rum-filled eggnog, so you wouldn’t be held liable for your actions when you inevitably snapped on the bitch.

Sighing, you continued munching on some popcorn while you focused on one of your favorite parts of Love Actually. Hugh Grant was shaking his ass to “Jump In” by the Pointer Sisters.

The music was infectious, and you found yourself doing a little shimmy yourself on the couch in time with one of your favorite rom-com Brits. 

With the TV volume as loud as it was, not even the door of your apartment unlocking could stop your mini-jam session. 

And the door soon opened, revealing a dusty, soot-covered Benjamin, still in his supe suit and tactical gear. He took a small step back when the gaudy Christmas décor assaulted his eyes, but he blinked through it as he turned his head. 

His lips curved at the familiar sight of you—bundled up in your pajamas and a fuzzy blanket on the couch, bopping to the beat of some shitty ‘80s song he actually recognized. You were alternatively mouthing the words and eating fistfuls of popcorn. 

Shaking his head, Ben stepped into the apartment and shut the door with some force. You finally perked up at the sound, your smile alight with happiness when you realized he was home. That alone made him soften a bit. 

“Ben!” You paused your movie and bounded over to greet him with a warm hug and a deep kiss.  

He brushed your hair back and allowed himself to revel in the familiarity of you in his arms. 

“Aren’t you a fucking sight,” he murmured.

Ben was still getting used to having someone to come home to, but it was grounding. This place was his home now, mostly because you were in it.  

“You okay? How did it go?” you asked, wiping off some soot from his cheek. 

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Ben offered you a cocky smile. “We smoked that pyro bitch.”

Your eyes narrowed. “You what?”

“Relax, the supe’s alive,” he said, rolling his eyes, as if it grated him to admit it. He wouldn’t tell you that the supe had two broken arms and probably a crack in his skull. “Being shipped off to prison as we speak.”

You nodded with a smile. “Good. I’m proud of you.” 

His lips pulled at a grin. But then you took his face between your hands with a hard slap (though it didn’t even sting, the point was made in your annoyed frown). 

“You’re late,” you said. Ben raised a brow. 

“Excuse me?” he said. 

“You heard me. You’re fucking late,” you repeated. “Go take a shower. I already started the first movie without you.” 

You tugged him by the hand and all but pushed him into the hall that led to your shared bedroom. 

Ben wasn’t one to be manhandled though. He dug his heels in obstinately. 

“Christ, I just got home. All I want to do is sleep…unless you want to give me a proper fucking welcome.”

He glanced at you over his shoulder with a more than suggestive smirk. He turned around and pulled you into his firm chest. His hands smoothed down your back and squeezed your hips, with his thumbs dragging under the hem of your pajama top.

While your lips threatened a smile, you had to wonder how he had enough energy for reunion sex, but not enough to watch a simple movie. 

Still, his offer was all-too tempting, making heat prickle along your skin wherever he touched. Nonetheless, you managed to remain stubborn and pushed gently against his chest.

“Down, boy,” you said. “If I let you get your hands on me now, I’ll never get through my list.”

First it was Love Actually, then Christmas Vacation, followed swiftly by Home Alone and its sequel, Lost In New York. 

Ben frowned at you. “So? Watch ‘em tomorrow.”

“In case you’ve forgotten, it’s Christmas Eve.”

You gestured to all your hard work in the form of the decorated apartment.

“Tomorrow, we have dinner at my mom’s house. So tonight, you’re gonna go shower," you said, pointing at him. "I’m going to make some more hot chocolate, and we’re watching all manner of cheesy, romantic, and downright silly Christmas movies until your Grinch-ass gets some holiday spirit.”

Ben released a tired sigh and dropped his hands away from you.

“I haven’t slept in three fucking days," he said. "I’m not staying up all night again for some corny bullshit.”

You frowned in disappointment. 

“Ben, come on. Please?” you tried, but he just waved a dismissive hand and continued his way to the bedroom.

For a moment, you watched him go in disbelief. Was he really going to be like that? 

With a flash of hot annoyance, you huffed and decided that you weren’t going to let him ruin the night for you. 

So you went into the kitchen and whipped up some hot cocoa, breaking out the actual Godiva chocolate bars you bought just for this moment. You poured out one mug initially. But you listened to the old water pipes working, knowing that Ben must’ve been taking a shower. 

You knew he wasn’t just tired. He didn’t seem to be looking forward to tomorrow either, and  was going along with it for your sake. Which, to be fair, could just mean he still wasn’t totally comfortable around your family. (Your sister Luisa still hadn’t totally warmed up to him.)

You also had a feeling that he just wasn’t into Christmas.

The question was why… 

But you poured a mug for him anyway, adding some mini marshmallows into each one. You brought both mugs with you back to the living room and set them down on the coffee table. 

Getting comfortable on the couch again, complete with your blanket, mug, and the popcorn bowl, you pressed “play” and continued watching the movie…even though you felt just a bit lonelier. 

But then, a weight dropped on the other end of the couch. You flinched and looked over at your now clean and pajama-clad boyfriend, who eyed you begrudgingly with his arms crossed over a soft plain shirt. 

You smiled at him warmly. “Hey, baby.”

His grouchy face was the very picture of “humbug.” Biting your lip, you set down the popcorn on the coffee table and handed him the spare cup of hot chocolate. 

“I made some for you,” you said. He gave you a brief nod and took a dutiful sip. But not even rich, chocolatey goodness could curb his sour mood as he stared blandly at the screen. 

You knew that face. That was his, I’ll do this for you, but I’m not gonna fucking like it—face. 

When he stifled a yawn, you knew that he hadn’t been lying. He really was tired. Sometimes you forgot that while Ben was all but indestructible, even he had his limits. Chasing that rogue supe across the country must’ve taken it out of him, even if he wouldn’t admit it. 

So you reached over and plucked the mug out of his hand. His brows knit together as he watched you set it down on the coffee table with yours. Then you grabbed his hand. 

“Come ‘ere,” you said, tugging him toward you. 

“What now?” he groused. 

“Just come on. Don’t bitch,” you teased. You guided him to lay across the couch, with his head pillowed in your lap. You grabbed an extra throw blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over him, making sure that it covered him up to his chest. 

“What am I, a damn kid?” he said. But you knew his griping had no real weight. Already he was humming deep with pleasure as your fingers carded through his soft brown hair. You let your nails drag lightly over his scalp, massaging his head. Your free hand stroked his cheek. 

Ben closed his eyes for a moment and let out a sigh through his nose. The movie continued to play, but you were no longer paying much attention. This was more important. 

When he opened his eyes again, they were drawn to the small, four-foot Christmas tree in the corner of the room, next to the TV. 

“That’s a poor fucking excuse for a tree,” he said. 

You frowned and followed his gaze. 

“I think it’s adorable,” you replied. And it was the only one you thought would fit in this cozy, but very narrow apartment. 

Ben’s arms crossed over his blanket.

“I’ll go tomorrow, find us a real fucking tree,” he said. 

Your frown deepened a little. “But I already decorated this one. All by myself, I might add.”

He eyed you then, a bit softer.

“All right, we’ll get a second one for the dining room,” he grumbled. “Getting the tree up is a man’s job anyway.”

You rolled your eyes at that. But you tried to see if there was anything deeper to read in his words. Not for the first time, you wondered how he’d spent his holidays in the past. No doubt with a lot of fanfare and celebrity parties during his hay day as Soldier Boy. You were more interested in his life before that.   

“I remember, my mom would run the show at Christmas,” Ben said.

You blinked down at him in surprise. Without knowing, he’d opened up on your exact curiosity. 

Or maybe he just knew you better than you thought.

“She’d have all the help in a damn tear around the house. Cooking, decorating, the whole nine yards. It was a perfect scene, like something out of a catalogue,” said Ben. “But getting the tree was always my dad’s job. His only job, really.”

You smiled and continued to listen with rapt attention. Your thumb continued to stroke along his neck. 

“One year, he got this massive one. Must’ve been…I don’t know, twenty feet. I don’t even know how he got it through the door, but he was mighty fucking proud of himself,” Ben said.

His gaze trailed beyond you, lost in faded memories. They played in his mind like a reel, wordless, but bright and warm. 

“Who decorated it?” you asked. Your voice drew his attention back. 

“Me and him,” Ben admitted, surprising you yet again. “Meanwhile, Mom baked up a storm for the Christmas party they threw every year…”

It was a rare moment where Ben recalled what seemed to be a nice memory of his father. But soon enough, the nostalgia dimmed from his eyes.

He cleared his throat and swiped a hand over his mouth, as if that could erase his moment of vulnerability. 

Then he turned to face the TV screen. 

“So what’s even happening here? Seems like there’s four goddamn movies playing at once.”

You cracked a smile and continued brushing your fingers through his hair. You also rewinded the movie so he could actually follow the story.

“Yeah, that’s what makes this movie so classic. See, there’s Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman. They’re married, kids, the perfect life, right? But he’s actually cheating on her with a younger, sluttier woman.”

“…And this is a fucking Christmas movie?”

“Yeah, you’ll see. Then there’s Liam Neeson.”

Ben perked up at that. “The Taken guy?” 

You nodded. “Yep! He’s a widower, but he has a stepson who’s got a sweet little crush. So he’s gonna try and help the kid impress the girl by helping him learn the drums.”

Your boyfriend nodded. 

“Musicians get plenty of pussy, that’s for damn sure,” he said. And with a knowing grin, “Actors get more though.”

You snorted and pointed to Hugh Grant next. “He’s my favorite. He’s playing the Prime Minister, who falls in love with his assistant, Natalie. That’s her right there.”

Ben raised a brow at your choice of “favorite.” If nothing else, he noted your type for older men. 

But he smirked when Natalie kept verbally fumbling in Hugh’s presence, then stared along with the Prime Minister at the woman’s ass when she walked away at the end of the scene.  

“Hmm, I’ll admit. She’s got a juicy peach,” Ben remarked. You laughed and hit his shoulder playfully. It worked an amused smile onto his face. 

He took your hand from his shoulder and pressed the back of it to his lips. You blinked down at him, and you warmed with a smile at seeing his more relaxed face. 

He kept your hand on his chest, his thumb drawing back and forth over your wrist. 

So you proceeded to explain the various angles of the movie until he was all caught up. 

You two watched the rest of it together. Like always, you cried when Colin Firth poured his heart out to his housekeeper, Aurélia, half in his mangled Portuguese and half in English. You cried again when Emma’s character finally confronted her cheating bastard husband. 

And you held your breath when Hugh and Natalie kissed as the stage curtain fell down, revealing their relationship to the world. 

By the time the credits rolled, you were an emotional mess. You were happy though. Typically you’d watch this movie with your sister, but it was nice to share the holidays with someone… 

Someone who loved you enough to curb his Grinch attitude about cheesy romantic things, like tree decorating and watching rom-coms with hot cocoa. 

You glanced down, and sure enough, Ben was asleep. He had turned onto his stomach. His head still rested in your lap, his cheek pillowed by your thigh, and he had a hand curled around your leg. Your big, growling bear of a man had a gooey center that sometimes surprised even you. 

For one mischievous moment, you considered sticking a piece of popcorn up his nose. 

He looked so damn peaceful that you didn’t want to ruin it…yet now you couldn’t get up either. 

Shit, you thought, but your grin was soft. Oh, whatever. Sleep is overrated.

You queued up Chevy Chase’s Christmas Vacation next in your movie marathon and settled in. You laid a gentle hand on Ben’s back, between his broad shoulders. 

And his story about his parents returned to the forefront of your mind.

Maybe he didn’t hate Christmas. Maybe it was just difficult for him to remember the genuinely good ones. Maybe he missed his parents; both of them, despite how contentious it had been between him and his father. 

You could certainly understand that. But now, you would make sure he would remember this one for the “good” column.

You only startled a little when your cell phone chimed on the coffee table. The screen read 12:00 a.m. It was officially December 25th. 

You then felt Ben’s warm hand squeeze your leg. His eyes were still shut though, his breathing deep and even in sleep. 

With a smile, you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

And you whispered in his ear, “Merry Christmas, Ben.”

AN: Yay! I hope you liked this fluffy one for SB. ��❤️

Did you like Ben's little day trip down memory lane? Let me know in the comments! 😘

**Note: There will be two more parts to this due to popular request!

Keep Reading: PART 2

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[hannahhook7744]

A light for nobody:

Requested by @captainthomasrobbie for my sad lyric/quote descendants writing challenge.

The Quote: Behind every sweet smile there is a bitter sadness noone can see or hear. It hurts to leave a light on for nobody.

The character: Chad Charming.

Trigger warning; child neglect, sadness, death, Cinderella and Kit being bad parents, etc.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Behind every sweet smile there is a bitter sadness noone can see or hear.

It hurts to leave a light on for nobody.

Nobody knows this better than Chad charming.

He isn't the person most people would think of when they think of the word 'alone' or the word 'lonely' or the word 'unloved' but that was exactly what he was.

He hadn't always been that way, however.

Once when he was younger, he had, had it all.

A loving grandpa.

Loving staff in the form of Duke and Prudence.

Two loving uncles.

A loving fairy Godmother and her kids.

A loving aunt and four loving cousins.

3 loving mice.

A loving dog.

A loving horse.

A loving cat.

5 loyal and loving friends, and a sure way to college in the form of sports.

A loving little sister.

He had the world at his fingers as a child and hadn't even known it.

But as all things do, everything changed.

His uncle James was dragged off to the isle and then a few years down the line, Anastasia was too.

Then his grandpa died.

Then Prudence and Duke followed.

Then Fairy Godmother and Jacob started to notice just how much Chad stayed over, and started asking questions, and then he wasn't allowed to go over as often anymore because it upset his parents.

Which meant that he was trapped in the castle, left to notice just how often his parents took his younger sister out without even asking if he wanted to go.

Left to realize just how little his parents cared for him.

His friends started to drift away from him except for Audrey, leaving him to cling to what little remained of all their friendships.

Doug started to resent them.

Jane started to see a stranger.

Ben got busy.

Lonnie got tired of Auardon's bullshit.

Audrey got obsessed with Ben and her crush on him.

And Chad was left behind yet again.

He had to adapt or die, and adapt he did. Though not necessarily for the best.

He straightened his hair. Neglected his school work. Threw himself into his looks and sports, and began resenting his sick little sister who he knew his parents loved more.

He acted out, desperate for their attention. Good or bad.

He lashed out at his friends, driving them away further.

Chad was almost unrecognizable by middle school. The old him was gone and dead. Much to his uncle and Fairt Godmother's displeasure.

Audrey was his only confidante and was slowly spending more and more time with Ben, who soon became her boyfriend.

He became M.V.P of the swords and shields team, and the Tourney team. Colleges everywhere were looking at him, waiting for him to graduate and then the vks showed up.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Behind every sweet smile there is a bitter sadness noone can see or hear.

It hurts to leave a light on for nobody.

Chad, at 18, wasn't proud of the person he became or how he acted towards the vks. But he knew that he couldn't change it.

And he knew that he'd never have his world back.

Now he had left the prince life behind and everything that came with it. Had vanished in the night to see how long it would take anyone to notice he was gone.

4 weeks.

It had taken 4 weeks and his 10 year old sister, Chloe, had been the one to notice when she had been reintroducing their aunt, Anastasia, and their cousins, and their uncle James (and his son Carlos) to the castle and everyone in it.

Chad knew then that he was never going to return.

Why would he when he wouldn't be missed?

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

It hurts to leave a light on for nobody.

Chad knew this still at 24 though the pain had lessened as he had come to expect it.

It had been 6 years since he had left home. Since he had left Auardon. And he had slowly but surely made a life for himself as something other than a wannabe trophy husband prince.

He had stopped straightening his hair and and had let it grown out.

He had built a beautful little cabin in the woods and lived alone with his many pets.

And as he sat in a rocking chair on his porch, staring out at the sun set, Diamond (his cat) in his lap. Swiggles (his dog) asleep at his feet.His mice (Dagger, Cobalt, and Starlet) rocking in their own chairs across on his side, squeaking at his white horse, Colonel...

Gil chopping wood in the front yard.

Chad thought that maybe, just maybe.. it wasn't all bad. And that maybe. Just maybe... this could turn into something more.

[faillicya]

This isn't an art request I'm just curious! Which pastas know each other in your canon?

—Great question, thank you for asking!

So first of all, I could go on and on about the various dynamics. I was about to write a full-on essay, but I realise that it would take way too long, for a simple question. If you want more details about a certain relationship, don't hesitate to ask, I would love to talk about it! :)

( Bloody Painter and Puppeteer are also missing, I haven't figured them out yet. This HC is subject to change, for now, it will do.)

Jeff & Liu —

Liu wants his brother back and convinces him to stop his mindless killing, but Jeff is resentful, he doesn't want to remember or connect to anything of his past. In his mind, his brother is dead. The only reason why Jeff didn't kill Liu yet is because Sully always gets in the way.

Liu & Jane —

Liu feels pity for Jane, but because their goals are opposite they do not get along. Sully feel different toward Jane, he doesn't feel bad for her, but he does have some level of respect for her. On the other hand, Jane just thinks Liu is an imbecile for running after Jeff.

Jane & Jeff —

Jane hates Jeff deeply, I don't believe I need to mention why. Jeff is more amused by her tentative at killing him, he could have killed her many times, but in the end it creat a source of entertainment for him.

Jeff The Killer & Eyeless Jack—

Jack was starving, he made a mistake with managing his stock of meat, and he wasn't even able to go out since it was daytime. He crossed paths with one of Jeff targets in an abandoned building where he was living. Jack devour them without a second taught, and Jeff witnesses the whole scene with his very own eye.

Jeff The Killer & Ben Drowned —

Ben previous victim had buried his game far from electricity and technological device, so he was trapped there, his spirit buried deep underground. Eventually, Jeff walked near Ben location and out of despair, made contact with him. Jeff has never come across a supernatural entity, so he helped him out after some taught.

Jeff The Killer & Masky —

They were both arrested around the same time and happened to be sent to the same asylum. Masky blunt personality peeked Jeff interest, they both planed an escape, succeed, and went back on their respective track.

Masky & Hoody —

Hoody personality has almost completely taken over Brian. He's neutral and at the same time aggressive toward Masky. Tim feels bad for Brian, but at this point, have lost all hope that Brian would even come to normal.

Slenderman & Hoody —

Has completely ruined him mentally, he's at his complete order, what is left of Brian is insignificant. Even if he could come back, he would be too scared to fight back.

Slenderman & Masky —

He's much more rebellious than Hoody, Tim is still there, somewhere. He hates Slenderman but has no choice but to obey him. If he dares to fight back, his life will be on the line.

Slenderman & The Rake —

Slenderman try to tame it for his profit, failed, try to lock it in the basement, almost killed Masky, try to lock it in a cage, the creature broke the door and escaped. Slenderman will catch him, eventually.

Slenderman & Laughing Jack —

Slenderman try to blackmail Jack into working with him, but I never found a reason good enough, he tries to manipulate him, but you can't fool an old clown. Jack knows better but to avoid this entity at all cost.

Slenderman & Eyeless Jack —

The tall being has been observing the demon for a while. Slenderman want's E.J. as his proxy, but Jack think differently. He wants nothing to do with Slenderman. Slenderman is just waiting for the right moment.

Slenderman & Zalgo —

Very tense conflict. A direct fight could cause the end of both parties. This is the main reason they are enemies because they are a mutual threat to each other.

Candy Pop & Laughing Jack —

Candy respect Jack craftsmanship, but he doesn't understand him as a person or his motive, although he never cared to find out.

Laughing Jack finds Candy Pop annoying. Jack prefer to be alone and having this loud-mouthed individual bothering him just irritates him.

Laughing Jack & Sally Williams —

The clown hates her to no end, many times she got in his way, trying to save children, and since she's a ghost, there wasn't much he could do. Sally on the other end, despite the clown. In the end, they mostly avoid each other.

Jason The Toymaker & Laughing Jack —

They accidentally target the same prey, turned out poorly and are now consider enemies. They did have a few decent encountering after this, Jack does understand Jason loneliness but at the same time find him foolish and naive.

[autisticandroids]

before we begin this post is about lisa so let's get that out of the way. anyway one thing about me is that i tend to read the really bad things dean does to those around him as not just an expression of his control issues and his objectification of the people around him, but also like. unconscious expressions of deep-seated resentment.

like this is reasonably canonical with sam - dean does resent sam, that's explicit. he's spent his whole life having to take care of sam, and has no identity outside of this. and this isn't sam's fault - in childhood, it was john's fault, and then once john was gone, dean kept them both locked in that pattern because it was all he knew and he didn't know how to get out, or who he would be if he did. and he resents sam for all sorts of reasons in adulthood, too. like he resents sam for getting out of their family, and for leaving him, and for wanting to leave him and be free, for not loving him enough, for making decisions that dean later had to clean up the consequences of, etc. etc. etc. whether all of this is true or not, it's what dean believes, and what dean resents sam for.

i think it's reasonable to say he resents cas, for similar but very different reasons, as well as some other reasons. like he resents cas because he feels responsible for cas (because he sees cas as a child) and cas is constantly fucking up. he resents cas because he gets angry with cas but still cares about him, so he resents the fact that he still has to maintain a relationship with someone that he's angry at (because he loves them). he resents the fact that cas forgives him for things, which makes him feel like a tool when he's mean. i think you could even argue that he resents the fact that he desires cas, because he doesn't want to, even though i think that's less evident from the text.

he resents mary because (again this is more explicit) having her around as a real person destroys the perfect motherfantasy that he was raised on, and also because he feels like her presence should restore the comfort and safety of his childhood, but it doesn't. like he wants to yield the title of head of the family to her so that he doesn't have to run things anymore, but he also literally wants to go back to being a four year old child who never lost his mom and was never abused by his dad and etc. etc. etc., and she both refuses to give him the first and is incapable of giving him the second.

he resents lisa (and lisa-and-ben) because he feels trapped and unhappy in his relationship with her, both because he promised sam to get with her and because he feels like his relationship with her is something he should want, even though he doesn't.

(i don't think jack fits into this model because i wouldn't call dean's feelings towards him "love poisoned by resentment" in the way that's true of the others. they're more suspicion and dislike and even hatred eventually tempered by affection.)

and like. none of this is rational. and if dean spelled it out to himself he would recognize that it isn't rational. but it's like entirely unconscious. this is the logic his emotionbrain is working off, not his reasonbrain.

and i think that whenever he does something terrible to one of these people like, for their own good/to keep them on the straight and narrow, it is mostly because he doesn't really see them as full adults/humans (mary is kind of exempt from this because he sort of sees her as an equal. i don't know if he ever does anything particularly bad to her for these reasons), and because he needs to control everything, and because he doesn't really perceive his family members as separate from himself, and because he believes in preserving family over everything, and because he doesn't want to be alone, and all of that. but he also does it as a covert expression of his resentment. he is hurting them on purpose, because they've hurt him. he doesn't know he's hurting them on purpose, he doesn't think that's what he's doing, but in some back corner of his mind it is.

anyway this is why i could never get into deanlisa.

[ponderosus]

layla didn't exactly resent benj as much as she might have that many years ago, rather just offered no sympathy. she found no reason to soften her words to make him feel any better. the facts were the facts. "can't say that five years ago i wouldn't of been thrilled to know i could make you hyper aware of your actions while trapped in a metal box." a bout of laughter escapes layla lips, shaking her head. the comment comes out as a joke, however it's very true. the universe must have known the only way to get a serial denialist to deal with his actions was in a confined space. "i'm not trying to be mean to you, ben. it's just the truth." a shrug rolls off her shoulders, "whether you agree, or care, is your business."

@benj-hyun

That he did, Ben cannot and will not argue. It'd been a selfish choice, nothing can be said to change the very nature of it. "Maybe while not trapped in a metal box?" That'd been the worst part of it, but he just figures it's karma really getting him this time. It's easier to let her negative feelings roll off his shoulders when he can make a run for it.

He leans up against the wall, arms crossed defensively over his chest, and he shrinks into himself. Trying to make himself smaller, lessen his presence as if that would save him from anything else to be said.

"Oh. Thank Christ," he sighs out in relief. "I feel like I can breathe now."

@ponderosus

[strangermarvelss]

breathe- p.p

Pairing: Ex!Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Summary- Peter was just outed as Spider-man and has no idea what to do

Warnings- angst, panic attacks, fluff in the end, please don’t read if any of this is triggering towards you

Word Count- 1.8k

A/N: hello all! Idk why but I feel as if I am catching up on the ideas I’ve had since the last time I’ve written anything and catching up on where the MCU left off. Plus the No Way Home trailer being released gave me extra motivation. Enjoy! -sava

“Spider-man’s real name in Peter Parker!” Mysterio’s voice booms as the video clip played on multiple screens in Times Square. 

You brought your hand over your mouth, gasping harshly. Peter’s identity was just exposed, and you felt like the entire world just stopped. You had just saw him and MJ swinging through the city as you were walking to the MoMA with Betty, taking a cut through Times Square since you loved watching people fall for that tourist trap. But in that moment, you could only think about Peter, and how he was feeling and what he was doing to take this all in.

“Oh my god! Peter is Spider-man?” Betty exclaims, looking to you, then looking up at Peter, who was perched up on a light, looking as if he was freaking out. You heart clenched looking at him up there, knowing how he was anxious a lot, especially after everything with Uncle Ben, and now with Mr. Stark. You knew how important it was to keep is identity a secret, and now that it has not only been revealed, but Mysterio made him out to be a criminal, which you and all his friends knew was a lie. You also knew that Peter’s stress was at an all time high.

Yeah, the two of you haven’t been a couple since everyone got snapped back and Peter “needed time to himself”, which lead to him immediately getting with MJ on the trip a few months later, you still felt for him. You were his girlfriend for two years, and best friends ever since the 5th grade. Yes, you resented him for breaking up with you and having to watch him chase after MJ all through your trip to Europe, but seeing the news break now about his identity pushed those feeling out of the way, as the only thing you could think about doing is comforting Peter, since he was still your best friend.

“Do you think Ned knows? Or MJ? I bet that’s why they’re swinging away right now! OMG, Y/N, did you know?! You’re Peter’s best friend, who am I kidding, of course you knew!” You hear Betty ramble. 

“Look Betty, I really have to go check on Peter, I’m sorry to cancel on our plans. Can we go to MoMA some other time?” You ask, your voice sounding rushed and panicked. She nods and you silently thanked her with a nod, taking off down the street towards Queens.

You try to call Peter probably 40 times as you made your way back to your apartment. You text him more than enough times too, telling him to meet you there. You knew going to his apartment was probably the worst idea, as May was probably freaking out and Peter seeing May upset and scared would just put even more pressure and hurt onto him, and the cops might be on their way to his apartment to look for him and bring him in for questioning, which he didn’t need right now.

As you got into the elevator of your apartment, you let out a big sigh. You knew Peter was going to be safe no matter where he was, and hopefully he would see all your notifications about telling him to meet you here at your place, since he always knew it was a safe haven, no matter the circumstance. The two of you spent countless nights at your place, when you were little, and when you were dating. He would rant about the stresses of Spider-man or vent about his grief towards Uncle Ben, and you would always listen and be there for him however he needed.

You unlock your front door and closed it slowly, letting your back press on the cold wood. Your mother and father weren’t home, as it was the middle of the work day and wouldn’t be back until 6 or 7, depending on traffic and how late they needed to stay. You throw your purse onto the couch in your living room and rub your face carefully, trying not to rub the makeup off with your frustration. You swing into the hall and make your way to the end, turning to your bedroom and opening the door, a scream accompanying.

“Oh my god, Peter!” You scream, rushing into your room and shutting the door quickly behind you. The curtains were drawn already, which you knew was his doing. Your lamp on your bedside table was on, letting some light into the dark room. You noticed that Peter’s mask was off and his head was in his hands, visibly shaking. You kneeled down by your bed where he was, rub his arm, trying to comfort him.

“Y-your window was unlocked, so I-I hope that was okay,” he says, breath shaky. You sigh and look at him. He’s never been like this before, not even when Uncle Ben died. This was this most distraught and nervous you have ever seen him, and it only hurt you more. 

“That’s okay Peter. I’m glad you got my messages,” you say, trying to sound as cheerful and hopeful as possible. He looked up at you with tear filled eyes, still shaking and breathing heavy. 

“Peter, are you okay? Can I do anything to help you right now?”

“I-um-I…I don’t know. I can’t b-believe that this is h-happening,” he try to make you, his breathing becoming heavier. You see that tears are coming out of his eyes as he continues to breathe harder, his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace and a look of panic plastered on his face. You get up and sit beside him, rubbing his back to try and somewhat soothe him. 

“Peter, try to breathe for me okay? Try to get your breathing back to normal okay?” 

“I-I can’t Y/N..I’m just so-“ he began to say, his arms moving in circles as he tries to talk, but can’t formulate the words. You turn his head to you and start to breathe slowly, inhaling and exhaling. 

“Try to match my breathing Peter. In, and out. In, and out” You explain to him, demonstrating the pattern of breathing for him. You see him try, tears still streaming down his face. You continue to breathe with him, holding him as he does so. You wipe away a few tears, trying to get him to clear his mind and come back to the regular, less stressed Peter you knew so well. You notice his breathing is starting to regulate more, making your heart not clench as much.

Seeing Peter this stressed and in this much pain always made you sad, if not equally sad. You two have been through so much together, between your friendship and your relationship, the biggest being snapped away together and no longer existing for five whole years, really shakes people up. It was weird coming back and not immediately seeing Peter, but you knew he went with Stark to help defeat Thanos, so the job needed to be finished. 

Pulled back into reality, Peter’s breathing was back to it’s usual pace, his chest not working so hard to accompany the extra work his lungs were doing. You smiled a little, sighing as a sign that he would try to relax a little. He rested his head on your shoulder and you ran your hand through his hair. 

“Tell me what to do Y/N. How do I get through this?” He asks you, looking straight ahead.

“I know this is going to come out as a shock, but, for once in my life, I don’t have the answers for everything,” he explained to him playfully, trying to lighten the mood a bit. You heard him chuckle softly.

“I’m really sorry all of this is happening to you Peter,” you say softly. 

“It’s not your fault, Y/N.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t feel sympathy or empathy for you,” you say, turning your head towards him. He lifts him head from your shoulder and turns to face you. His eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, his face looking stressed with the redness. Peter sighs, getting up from the bed and starting to pace a little.

“I just don’t know how any of this happened. He’s dead! When did he even record all of this, I was with him the whole time!” He started to exclaim. You noticed his breathing was starting to pick up again and started to panic yourself.

“Peter, okay, try to relax. Try to walk yourself through it without working yourself up too much, okay? You explain to him, trying to remain calm so he matches your energy.

You see Peter stop and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he rests his hands on his hips, his head pointed down. He tilts his head back up, looking at the ceiling as he lets out another deep breath. 

“I was with him on the bridge, the whole time, until he died. I checked to see he was gone…I don’t know how he could’ve recorded that message,” he tells you calmly.

“You said he was a master of manipulation, right? Did he use any illusions on you while you were on the bridge?” You ask him. You seem his demeanor change, as if a lightbulb went off in his head.

“Yeah…yeah he did! I had to use my Peter tingle- I mean, spidey sense, to get through it, maybe he did it during that time!” He shouts, anger starting to come out. He turns to you and notices you trying to be calm still, and tries to come back down from his anger high. 

“Okay, that’s some progress. That’s good,” you say, trying to be as optimistic as possible. You send him a small smile and he just looks at you.

“What?”

“Thank you Y/N, I appreciate you helping me today, it means a lot. But I know what I have to do next,” he says, confidence dripping out in his voice.

“And what is that, Spider-man?”

“Well first, I have to go check on May, because I know she’s freaking out right now,” he pauses, taking a second to regain his thoughts as you see sadness appear on his face. “Then, I have to go to the police, and try to clear my name. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I have to try” he explains to you. You nod, silently signaling that it’s all a good idea. 

You didn’t know how he was going to do it either. The video is evidence against him, which definitely won’t help him. But no matter what, you know that you, and Ned, MJ, May, and a lot of other people will be there to support Peter no matter what it takes, or whatever the outcome of going to the police to try and get his name cleared. But you did know, that he needed a backup plan as well, better to be safe than sorry.

“And if that doesn’t work?” You ask.

“I have another plan.”

[skyesu]

Your takes on the pastas are really cool, especially for ben and BEN, pretty interesting way of having both canon and fanon designs included in the art! Do you have any headcanons for the pastas personalities?

Aaagh thank you!! I did separate Ben & BEN to represent Ben the actual kid & BEN the program but having originally designed Kid Ben in like. 7th-8th grade???? He is the more fanon-y out of the two of them.

AND IM SO GLAD U ASKED ABT THWIR PERSONALITIES Dude. Dude

- Natalie is a diagnosed psychopath & is very blunt, rash, violent and ridiculing, basically ur classic creepypasta boye. She is v flirtatious too in certain settings but it’s impossible to tell if she means it or not lmao. She’s unleashed a lot of her repressed anger already since running away & has mellowed out a bit—she can even grow to care for certain people, tho it takes a lot of time & a lot of trial and error for her to begin caring in an “acceptable” way.

- Jeff is very Tired. That’s like the most concise way I can describe it. He’s schizophrenic and has trauma-induced BPD which can make him seem very volatile and destructive, when really they’re both incidental to him being a killer. He kills mostly for survival and while not outright violent off the bat, is usually very dismissive of others and would rather be left alone. Needless to say this causes Problems when he comes across someone he actually ends up liking

- Jack might be the most well-adjusted out of all of them, besides maybe Ben?? He’s very snarky and resigned, kind of like a more peppy Jeff but he has way more refined social skills and would be pretty open to others if not for his.,predicament. Which is he kind of needs to be a cannibal to live. He distances himself from a lot of the bad things he does and dismisses them as “part of the job” or “just survival,” both of which are true but..you can only have so many excuses buddy

- Ben (kid version) is actually pretty normal!! But like the others, he’s pretty resigned to his station by now (being dead AND trapped in a shitty little n64 cartridge) and is also very used to being passed around like a hot potato that nobody really wants to be stuck with—so abandonment issues on that end as well!! But even so, he’s usually very “”chill”” and tries to be a good person and friend, though is gripped by the fear that he’ll end up hurting someone he cares about (as has happened before).

- BEN (evil evil dude) is the thing Ben is afraid will hurt people. It’s his “”other half,”” as Ben calls it, or even “that thing” but it resents those labels a bunch because it believes it has just as much of a right to be residing in Ben’s soul as he does. It’s very chaotic, manipulative, & maniacal and rarely shows any true emotional depth when toying with victims, though if you say the right (extremely hurtful) things it will be caught off guard and be genuinely upset. Which isn’t much better because it will actually want to kill you so maybe don’t try that

[stark-tony]

underrated irondad and spiderson fic recs part 1

Men's Synch 3m Platform by loudestfandomsoftheworld

summary: or 5 times Peter Parker goes dumpster diving, and one time he does something else... " “You took my nephew dumpster diving?” Ben asked incredulously.

 His wife stood tall with a toddler strapped to her chest, tugging at one end of a couch with all her might. “I did not,” 

“Twash!” Peter yelled."

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

do you even remember what the world looks like? by iron_spider

summary: Tony’s heart has been working on overdrive since this whole thing started. Friday has a countdown clock plastered on the heads up display, but it feels like hieroglyphics to him at this point, like some ancient language he could never master.

Because when Peter Parker is missing, things start losing their meaning real quick.

“Should be around here,” Rhodey says on the com. May is still on the other line, listening in, because once a certain amount of time goes by without word from Peter, things move into Extremely Worried Aunt territory. They’re already in Tony Is Panicking territory, and when both of those territories overlap it’s never a good time for anybody.

Time? What the hell is time? His mind is blanking numbers out entirely. Minutes are seconds are hours are years.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Empty Casket by Jen27ny

summary: After the Vulture, Tony should have known better.

He should have listened to Peter.

But he didn’t.

And now, Peter is dead.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Patient #2252 by TheSoulOfAStrawberry

summary:  When a warehouse comes down on Spider-Man’s head and leaves him with a brain injury, Queens social worker Bianca Browne and Dr Grace Li of NY-Presbytarian Hospital find themselves racing the NYPD to uncover Spidey’s identity and get him help before he can be charged with a litany of crimes.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: police brutality

That's why they call me mr. fahrenheit by SparrowFlight246

summary: Peter’s on fire.

He wakes up fast, and before he even gets the chance to feel the pain, the aches, the dizziness, he feels the heat. It’s all encompassing, a raging inferno blooming from within him and burning him up from the inside out, and god, it—

—god, it hurts.

-

Peter gets whammied by a 24-hour superbug, and Tony’s left to keep him alive until tomorrow morning.

It sounds a hell of a lot easier than it ends up being.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

not like megatron by iron_spider

summary: “Hi! This is Peter Parker, I can’t get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back later! Hopefully not too much later, but don’t get your hopes up!”

Tony knows that message by heart. He’s heard it hundreds of times, in a greyer world, and it sends shivers down his spine as he climbs into the car.

He doesn’t think about that place. That half-world. No way, that’s done, that’s over, that’s history.“Hey, kid, don’t you know it’s bad etiquette to go and disappear on your birthday? Not allowed, really, really bad vibes from the universe. What’s going on with your suit? I wasn’t watching. Nope. Just got an alert. What’s going on? Uh, call me back.” He clears his throat and hangs up like a moron, driving out into the street.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater by frostysunflowers

summary:  ''Dying.''

''You’re not dying.''

''Totally am.'

'''God, I hope not, otherwise May will skin me alive.''

or

A weekend visit to the cabin doesn't go according to plan.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, humor

warnings: none

an irondad's misguided approach to homesickness by livingtheobsessedlife

summary: Peter mentions it once. Once. That he’s maybe kinda sorta vaguely somewhat homesick. MIT is no Queens, that’s all really. All in all, Pete’s having a great time at college. Really, truly.

The thing is that Tony’s never really taken the whole ‘only mentioning it once’ thing all that well. Not when it comes to Peter at least.

This time is no exception.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

you held your pride like you should have held me by searchingforstars

summary: “I had to take the risk!” Peter snaps. “I saved your life.”

Tony’s stare hardens. “Yeah, and nearly ended your goddamn own. This isn’t a trade-off. It wasn’t your call to make.”

“You would have done the same thing to protect me,” Peter points out. Tony just seethes at the statement.

“I don’t care about what you think I would have done. You are not me. And I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself."

--

or, as the timer ticked down, Peter knew his only option was to take things into his own hands. He just didn’t expect Tony to be mad at him for saving his life.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

always on duty by parkrstark

summary:  Peter manages to convince Tony to take him to a gala, but when Tony is hurt, he realizes that it's just as dangerous to be Tony Stark as it is to be Iron Man. 

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, humor

warnings: none

Out of Left Field by blondsak, seekrest

summary: Even if Tony didn’t end up becoming a big fan of the Mets, Peter knew they’d still have a great time at the game. And the fact that Tony wanted to go with Peter badly enough to make it clear that he should buy a pair of tickets as a birthday gift?

Peter shakes his head fondly.

Maybe for once the month of May was going to work out for him after all.

pairings: spideychelle

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

three weeks, two days, seven hours by crowkag

summary: It was a mess. A real mess. Peter had been gone for three weeks, two days, and seven hours, taken right out from under their noses.

And Tony was laying on the floor.

(AKA “you’ll always get there first”, but from Tony’s POV.)

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: 

for as long as i live and as long as i love (i will never not think about you) by searchingforstars

summary: When Tony first started to forget things, Peter thought maybe it was just age. People’s memories fade as they get older, right? Minds get weaker. It’s just natural.

But Tony has arguably the sharpest mind of the 21st century. Peter should have realised that it was never going to be just getting weaker. It was never going to be just age.

No - not when the sharpest mind of the 21st century also happened to come into contact with the deadliest amount of gamma radiation known to man five years ago.

--

or, Tony’s sacrifice is still haunting them five years later. Peter has to come to terms with the fact that Tony’s memory is fading.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

a dream is a wish by floweryfran

summary: Tony seems to panic for a moment, shifting his weight foot to foot, before spitting out in one mouthful, “I have a business trip in Florida right before your spring break and I talked to May and she says I can bring you to Disney for the week once it’s done ahhh.” He then breathes, grins plastically, and holds his hands out, like, I’m Tony Stark, hold your applause.

Peter runs the words through his head no less than three times to make sure he had understood them properly. “Disney—you and me—spring break?” he repeats.

Tony nods, hair flopping. “I mean, like, don’t feel obligated to say yes, but I thought it would be fun since May says you’ve never gone and she would’ve been working for your whole break anyway, y’know, at least this way we won’t be worrying about you sitting home alone for hours doing G-d only knows what—building accidental robot armies or something, or, worse, becoming a couch potato and forgetting every bit of knowledge I’ve ever carefully placed in that rat trap you call a brain—”

“Tony,” Peter says, waving his hands to shut Tony up. Something warm sits in the core of his chest, hovering. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, yeah, for sure, let’s—Disney. Let’s go. Wow.”

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Of birthday cake and millennium falcons by frostysunflowers

summary: "You still haven’t answered my question," MJ says, taking another sip of her juice.

 "Isn’t it obvious?" Tony replies, scratching at one of the scars on his neck with the end of a screwdriver. "It’s Ben’s birthday."

"And Ben’s birthday warrants a…" MJ waves a hand vaguely, "what the hell is that thing anyway?"

or

Tony has no self control when it comes to birthday parties and his grandson.

pairings: spideychelle

tags: fluff

warnings: none

what i have, i give to you by aatticsaltt

summary:  Tony would give everything to Peter Parker, if he asked for it. When May calls telling Tony she thinks Peter isn't feeling well, he drops everything to go check up on his favorite spider kid.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Smile! by aatticsaltt

summary:  Taking Peter to Disney World was one of Tony's better ideas.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

and when it's hard, i'll place your head into my hands by hopeless_hope

summary: “Tony,” Pepper sing-songs to get his attention. “Your mother hen is showing.”

“What?” he snaps indignantly. “I am not a mother hen. This is just... concern. Of the average kind. Perfectly normal.”

“Of course,” Pepper humors him, and he shoots her a dirty look as he types out a quick text to Peter.

or

It's been five days since Tony's heard from Peter, who's away at college, and Tony is not coping well. (Neither is Peter.)

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

Of Wally-Crawly Harnesses and Over-Enthusiastic Hat-Bestowing Capabilities by TheOceanIsMyInkwell

summary: Tony raises a brow at him in triumph, then sniffs and rubs the side of his nose. “Besides, think of it this way. Now you got a bullet-proof neck.”

“Nobody would even shoot a sad-looking orphan bundled like a spring roll in Red Heart yarn,” Peter points out. “That’s just low.”

“Excuse me, young buck, I resent the implication that I would let Red Heart come within an inch of your skin.”

“You’re insufferable,” Peter says flatly. “I hate you.”

“And just for that, I think this calls for those wool socks I was working on,” Tony says brightly.

“No--no, wait--”

“It’s time to learn that your consequences have actions, Parker--”

“Wait, wait, I love your knitting, I think it’s super healthy and fulfilling and honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to you since you retired!” Peter hollers at the man’s figure as it retreats quickly down the hallway. -- After Peter faints into hibernation because he can't thermoregulate, Tony isn't taking anymore chances. Out come the wool skeins and the knitting needles.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

how do you sandwich!? by killerqueenwrites

summary: “Why are you buttering toast before you toast it?

”“I’m not toasting this.”

“Then what are you doing?” Peter demands.

“I’m making a sandwich.”

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

What I Can't Live Without by aatticsaltt

summary: Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Heavy lies the heart of the father who has to watch his son bow beneath the weight of the world.

or: When Peter calls Happy needing a ride out of the Netherlands, it's Tony who comes to the rescue.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Tales from Quarantine by just_a_hungry_author

summary: Peter, Morgan, and Tony are all stuck inside during the Coronavirus quarantine. Morgan learns to play Monopoly, Tony struggles to help with 1st grade math, and a prank war ensues.

God, this is the longest two weeks ever.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

if we have each other by ftmpeter

summary: "Do you ever just, like, feel like you’re upside down?"

"You are upside down, Pete."

"Sounds fake."

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

What Happens in the Blanket Fort Stays in the Blanket Fort by TheOceanIsMyInkwell

summary: “Well, I was gonna discuss with May some legal particulars about changes to my will that involve you,” Tony drawls, “but looks like I’ll just have to change my plans.”

There’s a beat. And then a yodel: “I’m just a poor boy, I need--”

“If not for this goddamn quarantine, I’d be there in a flash to shut you up myself, Spidey-Tighties.”

“You made these ‘tights’.”

“Funsie-onesie.”

“Mr. Stark.”

“Cooty-footies.”

“Mr. Stark. I’m begging you. What does that even mean.” -- Tony comes over to keep Peter company during the quarantine while the kid waits for May to come home from work at the hospital. Bants are had. Feelings are spilled. And maybe, just maybe, a hug or two is shared.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

On his Shoulders by snarkymuch

summary: “Please, please,” Tony begged, “Keep breathing, kid. Don’t do this to me. You can’t leave me like this.” The morning started like any other for Tony. He kissed Pepper good morning and sipped his coffee. He scanned his emails and chatted with Pepper about the vacation they were always planning but never took. The calm should have been a warning, as the storm always followed.

OR

Peter and Tony get trapped in a building collapse and Peter is gravely injured.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

coronapocalypse by peterstank

summary:  “This whole quarantine thing shouldn’t even apply to me.”

“Uh, I beg to differ, it’s very serious,” replies Tony’s voice, slightly muffled like he’s got his phone pressed between his shoulder and chin. “We’re all on lockdown, which means no leaving your place unless it’s for emergencies.”

“And what qualifies as an emergency?”

There’s a pause.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not in your apartment?”

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

Little White Lies by snarkymuch

summary:  Peter gets injured and tries to treat it himself, hiding it from Tony, but he can't keep it hidden forever.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Peter Parker and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Semester by just_a_hungry_author

summary: "So tell me, Kid." Tony said, patting the space next to him. "What's been going on?"

"Nothing's been going on." Peter denied, but he sat down anyway.

"Pete, don't bottle your emotions up. Only I'm allowed to do that."

When Peter again didn't smile at his joke, Tony continued. "I know you're stressed, Bud. But tell me why so I can help you."

"It's nothing you can help." Peter mumbled.

"Can I at least try?"

"I've just been having a bad week."

OR: Peter’s been having a rough time at college, Tony tries to jump in and help. 3000 words of pure fluff.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Windy Webs by silentsaebyeok

summary:  And that was it. He was officially an idiot. Peter didn’t mean to be dramatic, but this was one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to him, even if there was no one around to witness the fall of the century. -- Peter goes web-slinging in dangerous weather and gets seriously injured. It doesn't help that he has to spend the whole summer living with the consequences.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Peter gets the chickenpox by snarkymuch

summary:  Peter and Morgan both catch the chickenpox. Morgan's case is mild, but Peter's is severe. Tony takes care of them both.

pairings:  none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

[iimpavidwrites]

Benzaiten Steel and the Fragility of Perception

or: reasons why setting boundaries is important #1283

I’ve figured out a reason why Benzaiten Steel stayed with his mother instead of doing the “sensible” thing and moving out. I think that it’s possible, too, that Juno has always been aware of the answer but, in the scope of Juno Steel and the Monster’s Reflection, he isn’t able to face it head-on because it contradicts his black/white, either/or sense of morality.

TL;DR: Despite Juno Steel’s unreliable narration we are able to see clearly the enmeshed relationship Benzaiten had with their mother Sarah and the ways in which that unhealthy family dynamic shaped Juno Steel as a person.

Sources: 50% speculation, 20% lit crit classes, 30% my psychology degree. 

Juno’s perception of Ben is shallow and filtered through the limitations of human memory. We all know by now, too, that Juno’s an Unreliable Narrator™.  In light of this, we need to ask ourselves why it is that Juno remembers Ben as happy, supportive, and only ever gentle in the challenges he poses to Juno. Throughout the episode, Ben’s memory is clearly acting as a comforting psychopomp: he ferries Juno through the metaphorical death of his old understanding of his mother (and also himself) and into a new way of thinking. He does this through persistent-but-kind questions, never telling Juno what to do or how to do it. This role could have been played by anyone in Juno’s life (Mick and Rita come to mind first) which makes it telling that Juno’s mind chose Ben to fill this role.

Juno’s version of Ben is cheerful, endlessly patient with Juno and Sarah, and above all he is compassionate. He acts as a mediating presence between Juno and Juno’s memory of Sarah and he doesn’t ask a whole lot for himself. If this is Juno’s strongest memory/impression of Ben’s behavior and perspective, then we can draw some conclusions about the roles they each played in the Steel family unit: Juno was antagonistic to Sarah and vice versa, and Ben was relegated to the role of mediator for the both of them.

Juno: She’s just evil. Ben: That’s a big word. Juno: “Evil”? Ben: No, “Just”.

We can see in this exchange that Ben is a vehicle for the compassion Juno needs to show not only to Sarah but to himself, too, in order to move on and evolve his understanding of his childhood traumas. 

This is not necessarily an appropriate role for a sibling or a child to hold in a family unit.

In family psychology, one of the maladaptive relationship patterns that is discussed is enmeshment. Googling the term you’ll find a lot of sensational results (e.g. “emotional incest syndrome”) that aren’t necessarily accurate in describing what this dysfunction looks like in the real world. This is in part because enmeshment can present many different ways. So, in order to proceed with this analysis of Benzaiten Steel’s relationship with his mom, I need to define enmeshment. 

Enmeshment occurs when the normal boundaries of a parent-child relationship are dissolved and the parent becomes over-reliant on the child, requiring the child to cater to their emotional needs and to otherwise become a parent to the parent (or to themself and/or to other children in the family). This is easiest to spot when a parent confides in a child as if they’re a best friend, disclosing details of their romantic life, expecting the child to give them advice on coping with work stress, and similar. Once enmeshment occurs, any kind of emotional shift in one member of the enmeshed household will reverberate to the others; self-regulation and discernment (e.g. figuring out which emotions originate in the parent and which ones originate in the child) becomes extremely difficult for the effected child and parent. When an enmeshed child becomes an enmeshed adult they often have issues with self-identity and interpersonal boundaries. For example, they may struggle to define themselves without external validation and expect others to be able to intuitively divine their emotions. After all, the enmeshed adult could do this with their parent and others easily due to hypervigilance cultivated by their parent and they may not understand that such was not the typical childhood experience. These adults are often individuals to whom the advice “don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm” is often relevant and disregarded. They may perceive their own needs as superfluous to others’-- and resent others as a consequence.

Another layer of complication is added when the parent in an enmeshed relationship is an addict, as Sarah Steel was. The enmeshed child often times becomes the physical caregiver to their parent as well and must cope with all the baggage loving an addict brings: the emotional rollercoaster of the parent trying to get clean or the reality of their neglecting or stealing from their child to support their habit or their simply being emotionally absent. Enmeshment leaves children with a lot of conflicting messages about their role in the family, how to conduct relationships, and how to define themself.

We only get an outside perspective on this enmeshment in the Steel family. It’s clear in the text that Juno’s relationship with his mother was fraught. He jokes in The Case of the Murderous Mask that she didn’t kill him but “not for lack of trying”, implying that Ben’s murder wasn’t the first time Sarah Steel lashed out at Juno-- or thought she was lashing out at Juno but hurt Ben instead. During the entire tenure Juno’s trek through the underworld of his own trauma, Juno asks the specter of Benzaiten over and over, “Why did you stay?”. This is a question that Juno himself can’t answer because Ben, when he was alive, probably never gave him an answer that Juno found satisfactory. There are a few possibilities, which I can guess from experience, as to what the answer was:

Ben may never have been able to articulate that his relationship with their mother left him feeling responsible for her wellbeing. 

Or, if he ever told Juno that, Juno may have simply brushed off this concern. After all, as far as Juno was concerned, Sarah was only ever just evil. To protect himself from his mother’s neglect and codependence, Juno shut down his own ability to perspective-take and think about the nuances that might inform a person’s addiction, mental illness, abusive behavior, etc.

It is likely that Ben thought either his mother needed him to survive or, alternatively, that he couldn’t survive without her-- as if often the case with children who are enmeshed with their primary caregiver. It was natural and necessary for him, from this perspective, to stay. Enmeshment is a very real psychological trap.

It is often frustrating and hard as hell to love someone who is in an enmeshed relationship because, from the outside, the damage being done to them seems obvious. See: Juno’s assertion that Sarah was just evil. Juno is, even 19 years later, still angry about Sarah Steel and her failures as a parent and as a person. His thinking on this subject is very black-and-white. He positions Sarah as a Bad Guy in his discussions with Ben-the-psychopomp and the childhood cartoon slogan of “The Good Guys Always Win!” is repeated ad nauseum throughout Juno’s underworld journey. This mode of thinking serves two purposes:

First, it illustrates the role Juno played in the household: he was opposed to Sarah in all things and Sarah did not require any compassion or enmeshment from Juno. Juno was, quite possibly, neglected in favor of Ben which would create a deep resentment… toward both Sarah and toward Ben. This family dynamic would reinforce Juno’s shallow moral reasoning and leave him with vague, unachievable ideals to strive for like “Be One of the Good Guys” or “Don’t Be Like Mom” -- ideals that he can’t reach because he is a flawed human being and not a cartoon character, creating a feedback loop of resentment toward his mother and guilt about resenting Benzaiten. That guilt would further bolster Juno’s shallow memory of Ben as being infallibly patient, kind, loving, etc. 

Second, Juno’s black/white moral reasoning is an in-text expression of the meaning behind Juno’s name. When “Rex Glass” points out that Juno is a goddess associated with protection, Juno immediately has a witty, bitter rejoinder  ready about Juno-the-goddess killing her children. Juno was named for a deity who in some ways strongly resembles Sara Steel and he resents that he is literally being identified as his own mother. Juno-the-goddess has one hell of a temper, being the parallel to Rome’s Hera. Juno is not a goddess (detective) who forgives easily when she (he) knows that a child (Benzaiten Steel) has been harmed. This dichotomy of “venerated protector” versus “vengeful punisher”  causes psychological tension for Juno that is only partially resolved in The Monster’s Reflection. The tension is not fully resolved, however, because Juno never gets a clear answer for the question, “Why did you stay?”

The answer is there but it is one that Juno doesn’t like and so can’t articulate: Ben is enmeshed with Sarah who named him, of all things, Benzaiten and that is why he stayed. We’ve already seen that names have intentional significance in the text. Benzaiten is hypothesized to be a syncretic deity between Hinduism and Buddhism, is a goddess primarily associated with water. Syncretic deities are fusions of similar deities from different religions/cultures; their existence is the result of compromise and perspective-taking and acceptance. Water, too, is forgiving in this way: it takes the shape of whatever container you pour it into... not unlike a child who is responsible for the emotional wellbeing of their entire family unit. Not unlike Benzaiten Steel.

Ben stayed with his mother because his relationship with his mother was enmeshed, leaving him little choice but to stay, and this ultimately led to tragedy. Sarah Steel’s failures as a parent are many and Juno still has a lot of baggage to unpack in that regard, especially where Ben is concerned. It’s unlikely that we’ll get the same kind of “speedrunning therapy” episode again but I know that The Penumbra is committed to a certain amount of psychological realism in its character arcs so I am confident in asserting that Juno Steel isn’t finished. Recovery is a journey and he’s only taken the first steps.

[crystal-moon-101]

(Updated Drawing for a second time) Name: Jay Maxwell Tennyson Nickname: Jace, Jay Jay, Human Omnitrix, Lill’ Ben, Hero Boy, Omni Boy (By Feike) Age: 13 Gender: Male Birthday: February 7 Sexual Orientation: ??? (Just like his father) Ethnicity/Species: American/Japanese - Human/'Omnitrix' Personality: Adventurous, Often has self-doubt, Sensitive, Cultured, Dependable, Brave, Hopeful, Persistent, Impulsive, Jokester, Trustful, Has slight anxiety problems, Forgiving, Selfless. Hobbies: Gaming, mostly survival games. A couple of sports (He's known to play tennis with his mother). Learning and Reading up on aliens and their cultures. Collecting items/souvenirs. Photography. Designing with Family:

Ben Tennyson - (Father/Jay has always looked up to his father, striving to be a hero like. However, there are issues between them, in that Jay struggles with how often his father isn't around, out in space-saving the day on another planet. He understands why this is, but it makes it hard to spend time together, along with seeing the struggles his mother goes through, even if she accepts this with Ben. That being said, anytime Ben visits, Jay jumps at the chance to spend time with his father.)

Julie Yamamoto - (Mother/Absolutely adores his mother and vice versa. Since Ben is often away, Jay has picked up a lot of Julie's habits and behaviour, even hobbies, like tennis. He's always eager to help her around and the house and spending quality mother and son time. He's very thankful his mother raised him to be patient, kind and polite, a big part of his personality.)

Ship - (Pet - Galvanic Metamorph/He's always loved the pet blob of the family. When he was born, Ship was very excited about Jay's presence, doing whatever he could to make the baby boy laugh. It's been the same, even as Jay grew up. The happy blob will always comfort the boy, especially through his anxiety attacks or self-doubt moments.)

Muse - (Pet - Null Void Guardian/Muse wasn't the kind of pet Jay thought he'd get, but he loves her anyway. Having saved her during a mission in the null void, the creature became rather attached to him as they don't normally have positive interaction with other species, even their caretakers. She loves cuddles and having Jay's attention, but can be very protective if anyone dares to hurt her human.) 

Tundra, Orion, Vale, Neva, North, Crystal, Alaska, Micha, Storm, Gray, Raine, Arlo, Zodiac and Lux - (Half-Siblings/Jay is very close to his fourteen Necrofriggians siblings, despite the species differences. He's never really questioned how unusual it was having them as siblings, even when people give weird glances. His siblings also adore their baby brother, spoiling him whenever they visit.)

Ivory - (Kind of half sister? It’s complicated/When Jay bumped into Ivory the first time, during a mission where Khyber was running around, he had to say he was surprised to see someone who had similar features to him and to his dad. After explaining this run-in with his parents, it didn’t take them long to come to the conclusion she must be the daughter of Albedo, back from when he was still human. Since then, Jay has tried reaching out to her, not only because he believes she can find a better life beyond Khyber, but also because he has a feeling she wants family, just as he wouldn’t mind having another sibling around...But for now, she brushes him off.)

Gwen Tennyson - (First cousin once removed/'Aunt'/Much like Ben, he looks up to his aunt, always eager to hear stories she shares with her father and Kevin. Since Gwen and Kevin aren't off earth as much as Ben now of days, Julie and Jay often visit for dinners. He likes to ask her help with schoolwork during these visits, though lately he's also been interested in learning about Ledgerdomain. Gwen has a feeling it might be because of a certain spell caster he is crushing on, but he hasn't said anything.)

Kevin Levin - (first cousin once removed in-law/'Uncle'/Somehow, Kevin was often the one that both Jay and Thea were dumped on to babysit. He would complain, but he really did adore the pair, even recording some of their younger interactions and adventure, which were both hilarious and adorable. Jay likes to show his uncle love when he can, as he knows very well how rough Kevin's background is.)

Cynthia Levin - (Second Cousins/The two basically act like siblings, teasing one another, hanging out often and venting to each other when they need it. Even if the two-act like opposites, they play off each other well. With Thea being more bombastic and outward, she helps keep Jay out of all the trouble he gets caught in by mistake. She does what she can to protect him from bullies or galaxy criminals, sometimes even from himself. That being said, Jay is one of the only few who can pull her back from her aggression, showing her that there are calmer and nicer ways to handle things. His forgiving nature sometimes worries her, because she knows it'll backfire and get him hurt sometimes, but she has been amazed by it, as shown through his many connections with aliens they've met, even some who were dangerous or criminals. Even if they have hard arguments or struggle to understand one another at times, they'll always have each other's back.)

Ken Tennyson - (First cousin once removed/'Uncle'/While he enjoys his life with space and aliens, he does appreciate having a family member who is very down to earth. Ken is a very supportive and wise uncle, often knowing just what to say or do to cheer Jay up.)

Carl Tennyson - (Grandfather/Carl, of course, loves his grandson, happy to babysit him and have him over. However, because of Carl's effects of galaxy life and aliens as a child, he sometimes struggles to talk with Jay, who adores that lifestyle. Jay understands, as he and Carl both had/have Plumber fathers often off-world, along with how his grandfather was somewhat abandoned by Verdona, his own mother, in his younger years.)

Sandra Tennyson - (Grandmother/Sandra has always doted on her grandbaby since he was born. Always jumping to babysit, playing with him and proudly shows him off to her friends. She is also the one who inspired his photography hobby.)

Mr Yamamoto - (Grandfather/Despite Julie's father's issues towards Ben, he's always been gentle and kind towards Jay, often being the one to remind him of the beauty of earth.)

Verdona - (Great Grandmother/Verdona and Jay have a friendly relationship, often openly showing affection through hugs or chatting away. While it does somewhat hurt, he doesn't resent her for mostly coming around for Gwen and Thea, because of their Anodite sides. Since he can change into different aliens, he understands very well that every alien functions different, so he can't fault her in her behaviour, so he'll take what he can get.)

Maxwell Tennyson - (Great Grandfather/A legend in Jay's eyes, being who his middle name is from. Even though Max is retired and spends these days in his RV with Xyelne, he's always happy to tell Jay stories of his old Plumber days. The boy will listen to every word with wonder in his eyes. Max has even told stories on Ben when he was very young, including the summer vacation when he first got the watch. It always puts a smile on the boy's face.)

Xylene - (Great Grandfather Figure/While Xylene isn’t amazing with kids due to her background, her and Jay get along nicely since he’s a polite and calm boy. She has a way of speaking with Jay where she can be blunt and honest, but in a manner that he understands and doesn't get hurt by. Like getting that needed push to do something.)

Frank Tennyson - (Great Uncle/He enjoys the boy's soft presents and can always ask Jay for help here and there.)

Natalie Tennyson - (Great Aunt/Natalie likes having Jay around, as he's always eager to help with housework. She does love her granddaughter, but having a quieter child around is sometimes more preferred.)

Friends:

Vanessa Morningstar - (The two have a sweet relationship, despite Thea’s rivalry with her and Vanessa’s parents. They treat each other with respect and trust, and for Vanessa, this is something not common to her. He's always ready to listen to her and doesn't believe she is destined to be a villain, even with her heritage. There have also been noticeable sparks between the two, but with all that goes on, it's hard to make something of it.)

Malax Shard - (Friend/A common friend and partner in Plumber training. Unlike Thea's uncertainty towards his gentle side, Malax has full trust in it. She knows his personality is rare in this line of work and is something desperately needed at times. That being said, she's often the one to give him the tough talks about reality and how harsh it gets. He respects her for this and both would have each other's back in any fight.)

Rook Rilla - (Friend/Another common friend and partner in Plumber training. The two have known each other since childhood, due to how close their fathers were. Rilla’s dry wit and no nonsense attitude has, admittedly, gotten Jay out of some tough problems, and the two play off each other well while working on the field.)

Feike - (Friend/He started out with issues towards Feike, mostly because of his flirting towards Thea. But, over time, Jay has started to see more to him. It's clear to him Feike isn't exactly happy where he is and feels trapped, being abused and manipulated by his boss, Sciros. He's tried reaching out to him, but the other teen likes to brush it off and tells him not to get involved.)

Renata - (Friend/Because of Reiny and Ben's friendship, there had been some playdates set up between the two when they were young. Despite how hard it is to communicate with Renata, Jay has come to understand how to talk to her, thanks to these playdates. He'll often go to her for space politic problems, given her status and training. Even though she doesn't show much emotions, she can show a protective side around him.)

Azmuth - (Friend/Azmuth is normally the one to take a look at his biology and powers if needed. Ben has also dropped Jay off for rare babysitting, Azmuth can only be so thankful Jay will listen to him and be quiet when told. He's always found it amusing how gentle Jay is compared to his father. He's also to happily talk about embarrassing moments about Ben to the boy.)

Etherea’Liss - (Friend/Their first meeting had been a little iffy, as Jay had met Zs’Skayr a few months before meeting her. But he quickly came to see that Ectonurites are not like him, and she's always happy to educate him on her home planet and people. In return, he helps her adjust to life outside of her home.)

Enemies:

Eldrigma (Enemy/Ever since this man showed up, Jay has been chasing him across the galaxy, feeling responsible in stopping him. However, with each encounter, they learn something new, that there's more to the story behind this man. As much as he wants to stop him and fight him, Jay is starting to see something grim and sorrowful behind the man's dark outside.)

Professor Alate - (Enemy/Honestly, this man creeps him the hell out. His intelligence as always been trouble for Jay, often getting outsmarted by the scientist. This wouldn't be so bad, if it weren't for the fact that Alate has this dedicated goal to catch Jay and experiment on him, mostly because of his Omnitrix biology.)

Sciros (Enemy/Jay has nothing but bad thoughts about this man, stemmed from kidnapping him and hurting friends like Feike and Vanessa, tricking and abusing them. He desperately wants to keep his friends away from the man, but his grip is tight and he knows how to keep them inline.)

Vilgax ('Enemy?'/It’s mostly Vilgax’s history with his father that scares him the most. Vilgax can be a hard foe to fight and is willing to use Jay to get revenge on Ben, however, with Jay’s teachings from his father and the fact Vilgax doesn’t have that great of an understanding since it’s been twenty years, Jay can fight against him and survive him. After seeing Vilgax around, he’s come to the realization that Vilgax isn’t as scary as most of the other villains Jay is currently fighting. He’s also given warnings to Vilgax about Alate.)

Representing Song: Human - Christina Perri

Skills: Enhanced Endurance/Stamina. Alien Morphing (He's able to turn into aliens without a watch, thanks to his unique biology). Hand-To-Hand Combat. Multilingualism (Jay can actually speak and understand a few alien languages, comes in handy). Photographic Memory. Makeup, dress ups, hairstyles, Jay is amazing at finding the right outfit or disguising others.

Weakness/Flaws/Fears: Monophobia (Fear of being alone or lonely), Atychiphobia (Fear of failure), Sometimes Anthropophobia (Fear of people. But depending on what people are currently like, especially in school, also depending on his mood) Slight Catoptrophobia (Fear of mirrors. Sometimes he can’t stand looking into the mirror, easily after something sudden or traumatic) Didaskaleinophobia (Fear of school) Autophobia (Fear of oneself). Sometimes changing aliens, becoming one or turning human can fail, especially if he has barely any focus. He keeps his injuries and damage he gets from fights as his aliens, even in his human form. Lack of energy or being rendered unconscious can make him turn back to human. He gains the weakness of his aliens. He needs to focus to be able to transform. His hidden sensitivity and anxiety can hinder his progress and the mission he’s on. He has a habit of taking on too much work, struggling to say no to others who depend on him. In rare cases, his biology can go out of whack sometimes, causing things like blindness, dizziness, struggling to walk E.T.C but it’s never permanent, so far. In his human form, he isn’t the strongest fighter and barely has any defense in tanking hits.

First Ten Forms:

War Roar

Cibeetle

Lavizard

Hollow Woods

Katana

Shadow Puppet

Manta Wave

Smitemare

Power Source

Sin Reaper