#and believing that the daesang is the end all be all and again that is not how it works lol
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This post is kinda long but it's a rant and that's the point I guess idk
The incident with other fans being angry that jimin won his Daesang has made me really tired of not just fandom beefs but the annoying elitists that exist within Army. Point blank, if a fan base votes for an individual/group more than another fanbase does for their fav individual/group, that's the end of it. That individual/group won. Disappointment is valid, but lashing out is not. Try again next year, idk what else to tell you.
In Army's case, it is fine to be happy that jimin won. It is fine to vote for him (duh). It's fine to defend Jimin against hateful stuff said by fans of other groups. However, when I see stuff like, "Why did enhyphen even think that they could win in the first place?"
"They're never going to ever get daesangs as long as BTS are nominated."
"BTS work harder than any other group in the industry, so they don't deserve the award anyway."
All that right there, that's not necessary. You do not have to put someone down to lift someone up. I understand that BTS paved the way for kpop to expand internationally, specifically in the west. However, the point of paving the way is allowing others to come up behind you and succeed as well. You don't pave the way and then put a "do not enter" sign right behind you so that nobody can come in afterwards. I personally want more groups to be able to reach BTS's level of success. When BTS eventually retire in fuckin 2045 or some shit, I want K-pop to still thrive outside of Asia. I want BTS and other groups to be taken seriously in Western media and win more than just "best kpop group" bc they make music worthy of it.
And it's not even just elitism, it's the cockiness. I have literally had disagreements with armies who think that because BTS do what they do that they should all be promoted to high ranking positions in the military and if they don't then the military is missing out and ignorant.
Sigh
Yes, some of them have been promoted, and gotten special recognition while in there. I'm happy and proud of them. However at the end of the day excelling in leadership and in other areas in a musical group, is never going to be the same as the military. Majority of y'all don't even know what the requirements and standards are in your own country's military. How are you going to speak on what is required in the Korean military. RM is a good leader in what he does in BTS, however, that does not mean he could lead troops in literal war or any other branch of the military. It's a whole different ballgame of leadership. I think he is amazing at what he does, however, I do not put him on a pedestal. There are men who are just in the military to be in the military because they want to be there. I don't blindly believe that RM is better and more suited to be a high ranking officer than the individuals who are choosing to stay there as a career. That is ignorant.
Anyways idk how to sum this up with a neat conclusion or anything. It's just something I've been watching over my years of being an Army and randomly decided to release my thoughts.
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I recently watched this show, and I can not express enough how spectacular it is, in every way. I haven't experienced a movie like this in forever. That's a long time, considering I've been around for millions of years already. Also, I don't know if I could survive a rewatch, I know it can't be anytime soon, even though I wish I could watch it again tomorrow. It's intensely epic, I need to prepare my body, mind, and soul and allocate time before any rewatching can occur.
In my wildest dreams, I hope one day to write a book, I wish to experience what must be such profound inspiration as I believe Hwang Jin-young, writer of this movie, must have experienced to conceive such a beautifully elegant creation which fills the heart with all sorts of richness.
I hope this movie receives all accolades possible. It's really stunning. It may seem that my reaction is quite dramatic, however, I urge you to watch it, properly watch it, with the attention this movie deserves, I don't think you'll be disappointed.
#my dearest #lover
Update after some research: this movie won practically every award possible, including the grand prize, Daesang, won by Namgoong Min 🤍 well deserved. Obviously he is a beautiful looking man, but seriously, that voice, the way he speaks, I'm sure I held my breath so many times and ended up fainting! Not to relate this to a character or actor, but seriously I can not believe this human exists in the world right now!!!
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i swear these ppl pushing the “inferior fan” agenda onto fellow carats sound like a freaking cult at this point
#the way they try to force it just sounds so delusional or is it just me#just the way they recite the same shit and spout baseless theories on svt ‘trying to not flop’#and the issue here is that there shouldn’t be ‘superiority’ within the fandom based on streaming and shit#but the basis of this mentality is so flawed??#the whole root of this = ‘svt r flops’ and just that alone completely obliterates the idea that this is even a debate#they completely rely on yt views which has the lowest impact if we’re simply talking numbers#their standards of being successful and not so-called ‘flops’ is literally astronomical fame AND THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS#and completely tunnel visioning(?) on ‘daesang’#tunnel visioning is that right idk how to grammar#when 1) its just a freaking goal svt set to continue developing themselves and show how ambitious they are#and 2) what idol group DOESNT want a daesang?? its the goal of every idol svt just so happened to explicitly and publicly say that lmao#also twisting pretty transparent messages from the members as if they arent appreciative of their fans so far??#its just so unappreciative of svt and the fandom#you’re disregarding how much theyve grown to come to this point where theyre making bank#and believing that the daesang is the end all be all and again that is not how it works lol#as if thats the only accomplishment they should ever be acknowledged flr#hyuni.txt#tldr yall crazy
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Better Man.
~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~
Taehyung x OC
Rating 18 +
Angst.
Implied Infidelity in the past.
Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time.
"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her.
"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles.
I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms.
He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face.
"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance.
Us.
Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.
I was the one getting a divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.
To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us ) and he had been the most kind man .
I swallowed.
Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine. It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over?
The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, " I’m sorry, Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.
But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again.
So we had done the wise thing.
At first a break.
A few days apart to get our head on straight. Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other.
"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation.
People with children didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .
But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.
But, none of it mattered now.
He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real.
It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.
Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband.
He would be my ex -husband.
i hated that word.
It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.
Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered, angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved.
An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.
Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world.
I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.
I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer. It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery.
It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior.
I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel.
I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.
I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me
?
It had been sheer luck that we had met....
In fact, if Jimin's car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it.
Boom. That was it. Love at first sight.
I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either .
And I had fallen in love with that version of him.
The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him.
That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years. So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order.
"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating.
"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. "
Whatever it was.
How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection reduced to a phrase like that.
What a pity.
"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably.
"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.”
My mother sighed.
"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly.
I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t.
And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung.
My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives.
And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.”
And that had stuck with me.
Walk out the first time.
If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time.
And so I had.
“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.
“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself. “ I shouted.
My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down.
“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending.
Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight. I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible.
It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes.
Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in .
So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative.
Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us why.
Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue.
So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life.
It wasn’t easy.
From him, it had been nothing but a mess of heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give.
Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering.
Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare. I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy.
Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning.
I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves.
I sighed, looking away.
It was way too early for this.
“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him.
He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him.
I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. .
Of course, the customary hug.
i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....
A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine?
Was I just too cynical?
I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face.
“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.
Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together.
No, that wasn’t it.
He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them.
“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized. “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him.
“Okay .” I said casually.
He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.
“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.
“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.
“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged.
“Does she know that?” I retorted.
It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.
Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.
“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased.
It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight into my heart.
That stupid nickname.
God I couldn’t bear it.
Swallowing i looked away.
“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later.
I nodded curtly.
“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely.
“Why not?” He whispered gently.
I groaned.
“Taehyung... “
“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered.
“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.
He blinked.
“Mia...”
“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “
“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him.
“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted.
“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”
“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.
“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he had used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw.
I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me.
“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “
The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently.
She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us.
“Shall we begin?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride.
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tour troubles | jjk
genre: fluff, angst
rating: G (no swearing or sexual content)
pairing: Jungkook x reader
theme: idol!au, boyfriend!au, one-shot
word count: 1.8k
warnings: none
Synopsis: When surprising your boyfriend Jungkook on tour doesn’t quite go as you planned, it’s up to you now to help cheer him up.
banner by me!
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
After a grueling 6 months apart, you were more than happy to be in MetLife Stadium watching your boyfriend live out his dreams on stage. The Map of the Soul Tour was no joke; Jungkook was practicing all day and performing all night, and combined with your final exam season passing by it left little time for you to talk to each other.
Finally wrapping up the school year, you got in touch with Jimin to see if he could help you plan a surprise visit for Jungkook on one of their final tour stops.
All of the members had become like family to you, but it's no secret that aside from Jungkook you are closest with Jimin. He was like the older brother you never had, and you always ran to him whenever you needed relationship advice or a good hug.
As you watched Jungkook on stage you noticed his smile falter sometimes as he would be slightly out of position or dance off beat. You could only pick this out because you had spent hours in the practice room dancing with Jungkook.
You and Jungkook had come together because of your shared love for dance. He had first asked you out inside a very sweaty-scented Big Hit practice room, almost half of your dates ended with some form of dancing, and whenever one of you was frustrated you could always find the other teary-eyed, lying on the marley floor of a dance studio. You had always been there to whisper words of encouragement in his ear when he was feeling down, and you wished nothing more than for her voice to reach the stage at the moment.
Soon enough, the concert came to an end and you were flashing her pass to the backstage security guard to get to see the boys. Despite your uneasy feeling watching the concert, you couldn't ease the butterflies in your stomach at seeing your boyfriend for the first time in months.
Ever since you had planned this, you spent your nights imagining exactly how Jungkook would react: whether he would hug and kiss you first, stay frozen on the spot in shock, or start crying right away.
As you stepped into the Big Hit dressing room, you were instantly greeted with several smiling faces.
I didn't take you long to do a head count and realize that there were only 6 boys standing in front of you, and that your boyfriend was nowhere to be found.
Making eye contact with Jimin, you saw the softness in his eyes as he motioned for you to come closer so he could explain.
“He’s not feeling well Y/N, and none of us can get him to talk about it. We’re so worried. I swear I’ve only gotten like 2 words out of him tonight, and I even tried to make a nutella sandwich for him to cheer him up. I’m sorry this isn’t what you had planned, but can you talk to him please? For us?”
You took a deep breath before pulling back the curtain divider in the dressing room. Your nerves catching up to you, you considered just turning around and telling the boys you would surprise him at their next concert instead.
You had dealt with Jungkook being troubled and frustrated more times than you could count, but you were worried you had lost her touch after being apart from him for months.
Your mind also flew the other way. How many times has he felt like this after a concert and never told you? When he said "It was fun I'm just really tired now" after every concert was he truly feeling like this?
With that, you pushed forward because you knew that you had to be there to support Jungkook today, even if you couldn't be there for all the other times.
The sight that greeted you behind the curtain was not a pretty one.
Jungkook was staring blankly at the monitor in front of him, dark fringes of his hair matted against his sweaty forehead, tour hoodie zipped up completely with the hood on, and worst of all, his eyes were clearly puffy and swollen, with tinges of red coming through from underneath his makeup.
Jungkook barely even glanced your way as you sat down an ample distance away from Jungkook on the couch. It was clear from his lack of surprise at your appearance that one of the boys (probably Jimin) had probably told him about your surprise visit earlier in an effort to cheer him up after the concert, but even that could not get him out of this slump.
Of all the scenarios you came up with for how Jungkook would react to your surprise, somehow this one never crossed your mind.
You turned your focus to where Jungkook was staring - a TV monitor replaying video footage from tonight's concert. You watched as his eyebrows stayed furrowed as he glared disapprovingly at himself for making even the smallest of mistakes in the video, almost wincing as the TV monitor continued to play the footage.
"Do you want me to help point out things in the video?"
Jungkook didn’t even move a muscle.
You took the silence as a yes, and pulled a pen and the closest thing you could find to paper, a napkin, out of your purse to write on.
Working as a dance teacher had taught you more than a couple tricks about how to give constructive feedback, and you were a firm believer in the "give 2 compliments and then 1 thing to work on" approach. However, you knew the issue with Jungkook wasn't that he was truly bad at dancing, but rather that he was way too hard on himself for the smallest details that the audience wouldn't even notice - so she threw in a few more compliments than usual. Unsure of how Jungkook would react to seeing the list, you still threw some of those very nit-picky details on there, knowing that if he was still frustrated he would throw the list out all together if he thought you were just coddling him.
And so you both sat together in front of that grainy TV monitor, in complete silence aside from the sound of your pen scratching against the napkin.
June 10, 2020 MOTS:7 Tour Feedback Report for Jeon Jungkook ( by Y/N)
- match angle of arm placement in Black Swan Opening Choreo
- footwork on DNA ending choreo could be cleaned up
- the ARMY at the corner of the screen during Euphoria had the biggest smile when you looked at her. I think she’s gonna remember that moment for the rest of her life.
- I like the way you wink at the camera during So What! Gave me butterflies babe.
- could add more energy into the last Fake love chorus ( hot bod btw!!)
And the list kept going on and on as you diligently focused on the screen and writing notes, taking occasional glances at your silent boyfriend.
Upon glancing over your shoulder and seeing your list, Jungkook smiled at your thoughtful and sweet comments.
All of sudden, a wave of consciousness and realization washed over him.
He finally has the girl he loves in front of him again after months apart, and instead of cherishing his limited time with you he was spending it watching himself dance, which is what he had already spent the last 9 years of his life doing. Most of all, you never let your smile falter once in front of him, even though he knew you may be upset with his response to your surprise, and you went along with whatever he wanted to do - even if that meant watching a very very low-quality video of his performances on a loop.
Grabbing the napkin gently out of her hands and placing it on the table, Jungkook cupped your face and looked gently into your eyes.
"Thank you", he said softly, as if not wanting to startle you with his sudden character change.
In your head there was absolutely no need for Jungkook to be thanking her for anything she was doing. She knew dating an idol would have its challenges, and she made a promise to Jungkook that she would be by his side through it all, even if that included rewatching Euphoria on loop.
It was now your turn to sigh.
“There’s nothing to thank me for babe, it’s just me. I wanna be here for you when you’re like this - I didn’t just date you so I could be there to celebrate your Billboard #1s and daesang sweeps, I’m here for these moments too.”
Jungkook further eliminated the space between you both by wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. In that moment he realized that maybe all he needed was you. That all these hurdles he had been facing alone would have been much easier if he had just let you in on his problems.
“I just feel bad Y/N, I haven’t even seen you for months and the first time I see you I’m like this? I’m sorry.”
The gears started turning in your head. Batting your eyes overdramatically at your boyfriend, you smiled.
“Okay how about we make a deal then babe?”
Jungkook looked at you curiously and let you carry on.
“From now on, every time you feel like this you come to me okay? We can figure this out together, but I can’t help you if you don’t let me in,” you expressed, grabbing his hands in yours.
“Also, if you felt like making it up to me you could buy me some ice cream? It’s not the same when I eat it without you,” you joked.
Jungkook’s melodic laugh vibrated through the room.
“Just ice cream? You’re selling yourself short babe. I’d buy the whole world for you, my love.”
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
As you emerged from behind the curtained section of the dressing room, hand in hand with a smiley Jungkook ( a stark comparison from how he was a mere hour early), you were greeted with Jimin jumping up and cheering loudly upon seeing the maknae.
Unable to contain his excitement, Jimin ran towards the two of you, chiming “you did it Y/N!! You brought back our maknae!”
“Good to see you smiling, Jungkookie,” beamed Jimin as he stepped forward to ruffle Jungkook’s hair.
Jungkook chuckled and looked up at his hyungs.
“I think I owe you all some ice cream. Ready to go? It’ll be treat.”
If his hyungs weren’t already excited to see Jungkook feeling like himself, now they were ecstatic. And you definitely felt the same way as well. ♡
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
If you liked this, please interact/follow! Thank you for reading ♡
- Emily
#bts#bts imagine#idol bts x reader#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#bts fanfic#jungkook fanfic#bangtan boys#bangtan sonyeondan#bts fluff#bts angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#kpop fic#kpop imagine#bts fic#bts x reader#bts x you#bangtan#eternally-writing#bts scenario#jungkook scenario#bts sfw#sfw
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BTS at Golden Disc Awards 2021
by Admin 1
On the 9th and 10th of January 2021 BTS attended the Golden Disc Awards, and performed on the second day as well. Being there they won the Digital Bonsang for Dynamite on the 9th and the Bonsang, as well as the Album Daesang for Map of the Soul : 7, on the 10th. Amazing achievements which I sincerely congratulate them on.
When it comes to the performance, it was, most certainly, another amazing collection of stages bringing something new once more, even if they presented songs we’ve already seen at previous award shows this season. The opening came in form of Black Swan, though they didn’t sing any of it. It was more an intro showcasing the entrance of the members and highlighted Yoongi’s return to the stage, at least partially.
The stage featured big metal winds, low lighting, and the members clad in black and white clothing including leather elbow length gloves for Namjoon and Yoongi, and pretty chockers for Taehyung and Jimin. The highlight though was Jungkook’s hair which isn’t dark anymore, but instead has been bleached and dyed a pretty blond. Personally I think it suits him pretty well.
More below the cut since this is shaping up to be pretty long:
Next up was ON, which was powerful and fierce, though still missing Yoongi, which is all too understandable. Even though he can stand on stage again and hold his mic in his left hand (his surgery was on the left shoulder), it will still be a while until he’ll be able to dance with the members. ON has certainly grown a lot on me and I enjoy their performances of it immensely, and it was much the case this time as well.
The transition from ON to Life Goes On came in form of the stage being made to look like their individual rooms from BE which appeared on the digital walls around them. Their clothes were mostly comfy, though Jimin’s resembled their outfits from all the way back during I NEED U/RUN era. The transition/VCR like moment ended with the instrumental to We Are Bulletproof : The Eternal and the stage looking much the way the MV did with the whale swimming around them in an ocean of shades of purple, blue and pink.
For Life Goes On they had miniature versions of some of their most iconic MV sets on pedestals. It was a really cute idea and I enjoyed the execution a lot. The members seemed relaxed and enjoying themselves, Jimin and Taehyung even having their little moment of looking at each other twice, these moments certainly having become something I always kind of look forward to when it comes to LGO stages.
Another tiny Jimin and Taehyung detail was Jimin sending a brief, barely noticeable (by the viewer) finger heart which I hadn’t even noticed until my fourth rewatch. It definitely fits with all these other small gestures we’ve seen from these two in recent months, like the finger hearts and kissy faces during their Lotte Family Concert performance of Boy with Luv or hugging each other on day 1 and doing a fun handshake and dance on day 2 during Dionysus at the MOTS ON:E concert visible only on one of the side cameras, not the main one.
The grand finale was the Slow Jam remix of Dynamite which worked perfectly with the chill out lounge/bar atmosphere created on stage fitting with the Great Gatsby theme. The members wore mostly suits in white, blue in Namjoon’s case, and a bright yellow when it comes to Taehyung, as well as Hoseok who had a white button down which Tae did not. While a normal person would look ridiculous in it, Taehyung looked absolutely stunning and made it more than work. After so many energetic performances of Dynamite since its release, seeing such a calm version was really nice and refreshing, showing how versatile BTS and their music are, how they can captivate an audience with fast songs made for big choreographies and stage productions, but also these slow, more chill types of tracks. A marvelous idea, truly.
There was also an encore stage where they sang ON again but this time along with Yoongi on stage which had some hilarious moments, especially Namjoon and Seokjin being silly waving their arms around while kneeling opposite each other on stage during Jungkook’s bridge. Cute.
Afterward the members were at something like a red carpet after interview where they took pictures with their awards (Jungkook and Taehyung even making their Bonsang and Daesang awards kiss much the way film director Bong Joon Ho made his two Oscars kiss last year) and were asked to do a relay of saying something to each other.
All translations of their words are taken from Vernal_Bom on twitter.
J-hope to Jimin
“I didn’t feel lonely in 2020 thanks to Jimin. Thank you for making me laugh. Give me happiness and laugh in 2021 as well.” Jimin (turning to Namjoon): “It seems he can never live without me”
Honestly the bond between Jimin and Hoseok is so cute and wonderful and you can see, and hear in their words, how important they are to each other, and how grateful Hobi is. We know the members were having a really hard time in 2020 so it doesn’t surprise me that Hobi would highlight the other members, or in this case Jimin, as one of the main reasons why he made it through it. After all we also know that those two made a song together which unfortunately didn’t make it onto BE. Hopefully we might get it one day at least as SoundCloud release, or perhaps on the next album instead.
Jimin to RM
It was you who made us pull ourselves together to go through 2020. I am always grateful, and it’d be nice if you share you height a little with me in 2021, be healthy and happy. RM: Okay thank you
I love how Jimin used this (public) opportunity to tell/remind Namjoon of how important he was for them especially in 2020, as leader and surely also as friend, yet still also made a little joke to still keep the atmosphere light. After he was done speaking Jimin also hugged Namjoon, which showed once more how tiny he is in comparison.
RM to JK
It’s finally today, Jungkook-si, in 10 years! You are Golden Maknae! The day that you will prove your nickname! You are proving it right now with your hair color, but in 2021, I hope the year will be filled with gold, like your nickname. Stay healthy. Let’s ‘Jje-kkit-up’ together this year too! (check it up.. the usual Namjoon saying lol)
It’s quite something to think about and realize, isn’t it, this year 10 years pass since Jungkook became a BigHit trainee and moved into their first dorm with Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi and Seokjin. I’m curious if Bangtan, as well as BigHit, have some kind of plan for JK specifically for this year that Namjoon chose to highlight his Golden Maknae nickname in such a way, or if it was more of a reminder to JK, that he’s so worthy despite how he doubts himself, and despite how he himself said he’s been going through tough times in 2020.
JK to V
V hyung, when we were trainees we were getting along so well, (V: We are not now???) No!!! i didn’t mean it. You are becoming so much of an stand-up (reliable, I assume in this context) guy. Thank you for doing all the schedules with us. jhope: who’s hyung here?
The bond these two share might just be one of the biggest mysteries and causes for conflicts and fights within the fandom, or particular parts of it. After their conversation In The SOOP, I’d like to believe they’ve figured out whatever issue might've arisen between them in the past, found a way to solve and move past it slowly, and rekindled their friendship once more. Seeing at how well they’ve been getting along (on camera) these past few months, I think it might've been so. It’s curious to me though that JK chose to say this instead of something more akin to what Jimin said to Namjoon, or Hoseok to Jimin.
V to Jin
V: (turns to Jin) Jin: This is too close V: I listened to Abyss and that makes my heart ache too... Jin: Thank you V: hyung, your song is so good. Make more songs in 2021, let Army and us listen to your song more. Jin: Okayokay V: and I play game with you to relieve stress.... sorry for talking in ban-mal (informal form). —(also speaking in informal way) Jin: No no it was so fun V: I love you Jin: I love you too
I absolutely adore the bond these two share and I love that Tae chose to say what he did. We know Seokjin has been going through a hard time in 2020, that he dealt with something I’d call imposter syndrome, so I’m glad we got to know even more about how Tae was there for him, something we otherwise would’ve never known. Certain people try to portray Tae as the one member that is almost estranged from his other members, who barely has anything to do with the group outside of schedules, and yet it’s moments like this--as well as Seokjin telling us in his birthday vlive that Tae organized for everyone including his non-BTS friends to send Seokjin birthday wishes in video form to show him how loved and appreciated he is--are the proof that those people are wrong. Tae is very close with his members, and he’s the ambassador of OT7 or nothing, the members his closest friends and brothers, his found and chosen family.
Jin to Suga
Jin: Yoongi ya, do it well. Suga: Okay.... Jin: Do well on your rehab, and...uh... let’s do well going forward. Suga: Okay.. I will...
These two are so close yet due to their introverted nature their interactions such as this one are just so hilarious and adorable at the same time. Their dynamic is wonderful and this just seems like peak Yoongi-Jin behavior.
Suga to j-hope
SG: (unable to look into hobi’s eyes) Our hobi JH: Suga! SG: You did work hard in 2020 (evading eye contact) JH: hahhahahah and? SG: Let’s not fall sick in 2021, and hwaiting... JH: “Hwaiting hyung, and take good care of your health!”
The saga of Yoongi being unable to look Hoseok in the eye continues and it’s just as precious as ever. They stood so close, and while Yoongi wasn’t able to look into Hoseok’s eyes, it’s funny how he was the one who initiated the whole “them standing so close together” thing. I love the difference between how Seokjin didn’t even try to make eye-contact while Hoseok playfully challenged Yoongi and tried to coax him into it anyway knowing it’ll make Yoongi laugh and smile. It’s such a Yoongi-Hoseok thing, I love it.
And with that, the award was over and now also my post. I hope you enjoyed reading it! :3
#bts#bangtan seonyandan#golden disk awards#golden disc awards 2021#jimin#taehyung#jungkook#namjoon#seokjin#yoongi#hoseok#vmin#namjin#life goes on#performance commentary#Vmin cute moments#Namjin being silly together#Yoongi is back!#bts gif
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HOME;RUN - an analysis
So our boys SLAYED in this comeback and I am in love with the concept so much!! Seventeen in suits gets my heart fluttering ~
After watching the MV a couple of times (and being in awe of how good it is), this theory occurred to me:
The diamond represents stardom and CARATS; the MV is all about SEVENTEEN’s journey as idols and their relationship with CARATS.
A scene-by-scene analysis of the MV under the cut!
(and the awesome header above is by @soonhoonsol who is incredibly talented and came up with this masterpiece in less than an hour!)
I’m going to put this disclaimer up front: these are just my theories and other interpretations are totally valid. I love all thirteen boys, and I think they have really good relationships with each other! So if I bring up past incidents or controversies, it’s from a place of love. I’m not trying to stir drama or criticize them. This essay is a love letter to them because I personally find the MV so meaningful. Also, I’ve been a Carat less than a year (this is my second comeback, fourth comeback if you count Japan releases) so please tell me if I’ve made mistakes ~
S.Coups and the baseball
When the MV starts, Seungcheol’s hit a wall, literally. (Additional symbolism regarding the wall to come later.)
Why? If you think back to the start of Coups’ career, he was training with NU’EST but he didn’t get to debut with them; he hit a wall at the start when it came to debut. Then, the diamond hits him: Seventeen comes along (and with that, Carats) and it changes his life, launching him to the public eye and stardom.
But at the same time, the diamond hits him on the head and knocks him out for a while, and this is kinda symbolic of his hiatus last year. He took a break because of his anxiety; anxiety caused by knowing how much the fans love him, and not wanting to let them down. The impact of idol life made him feel so pressured that he needed to take a step back.
But! At the end, Coups picks up the diamond again; he’s ready to resume his journey, and perform for Carats!!
Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Seokmin at the bar
The scene cuts from Coups to the boys at the bar, and I can think of a few reasons for the choices!
Firstly, Mingyu. Gyu’s the one who gave the shoutout to Coups during their daesang acceptance speech while he was on his hiatus. That was a huge moment in their careers - recognition not just from their diamond fans, but also from the general public.
Secondly, Wonwoo. He’s had his own struggles with anxiety and not feeling good enough too, and he’s shared before that he wonders what he has to make fans love him. (Also, I love the Wonwoo-Coups gamer-bro bond ~)
Then we have DK, and I feel like the choice of DK here is because he’s a leader too, even if we forget that often. Back when it was announced DK would be leading BSS, he cited Coups as his inspiration for being a good leader; he’s watching Coups’ example.
(I’m not totally certain about the symbolism here though, so feel free to chime in!)
Hoshi, Jun, and Dino’s dance
Our performance unit leader’s the one who first appears and starts dancing; he’s the choreographer, and the one that the members look to when performing!
(Other than that, I don’t think there’s a lot of deep symbolism; it’s just a fun dance break lol. The dance breaks are all just cool choreo moments ~)
Vernon and the gambling den
This scene basically focuses on Hansol, who’s just chilling and vibing while everyone else is fighting.
The background of this set is some sort of gambling den, and we see chips and cards flying around. What do people associate with gambling? Money. Think back to the early days of Vernon’s career; he was involved in Show Me The Money, and it caused a ton of controversy and undeserved hate.
Yet, in the midst of all this chaos, Hansol’s just rapping and vibing, because our boy rose above all the hate that was directed at him to become an amazing rapper!! Also he’s just so chill all the time and we love him for it ~ that’s how he gets hold of the diamond in the midst of this chaos!!!
(also, he passes it to Minghao. Why does he pass it to Hao? idk can’t really explain. Any ideas?)
The8 and Joshua in the car
For this scene, we switch to black and white, which kinda shows that there’s a certain nostalgia here.
Minghao’s holding the diamond and looking at it carefully, with a certain distance. As we all know, Hao’s someone who’s very realistic; he reminds us of the distance between idols and fans, and doesn’t do any of the flirty playing around. But it doesn’t mean that he loves and treasures us less! It’s because he cares about Carats that he wants us to remember to lead our own lives and focus on ourselves too ~
Meanwhile, Shua’s driving the car. Why the deliberate choice of Hao and Shua? They’re the ones who had to travel to get that diamond; they left their homes to come to Korea to become stars and in doing so, earn the fans’ love. It’s been a long, hard road, and I respect them so much for taking it.
(What about Jun and Hansol? I’m sure some of you will ask. Hansol isn’t really foreign line; he was born and raised in Korea, there wasn’t any travelling. As for Jun, he was a highly-acclaimed child star with his own fans and career before he travelled to Korea to become a part of Seventeen, so he wasn't really chasing stardom.)
Dino and Wonwoo on the train
After the theatre dance break, our maknae gets on that train and promptly starts searching everywhere for the diamond.
Why? In my opinion, Chan’s criminally underappreciated in the fandom; he’s so so incredible (just look at his rap + visuals here!), but he just doesn’t get enough love from the fans; that’s why he’s trying so hard to get that diamond! (also, give Dino more respect yall, he deserves it)
Wonwoo’s also searching for the diamond. Remember the analysis earlier: he doesn’t think that he has much presence or charisma to attract fans. He’s looking for the love and fans too.
Mingyu and Jeonghan on the train
Two things to note before we break down the scene: they’re probably the ones with the diamond at the start of this scene (since they’re the thieves in the newspaper), but by the next scene, they’ve somehow lost the diamond to Wonwoo.
Firstly, we see that Gyu and Hannie both cover their faces. They’re largely considered to be two of the best visuals in the group. I believe this represents a fear of theirs; that without their looks, they’ll lose the fans’ love.
Secondly, they run away from the train (likely leaving the diamond behind). Both Jeonghan and Mingyu have taken time away from the public eye lately. Hannie suffered from dizziness because he pushed himself so hard to perform for us, not wanting to disappoint Carats, until his body forced him to take a break. Gyu basically disappeared from view during the Itaewon controversy and all the hate he was getting. Thus, them running away from the train symbolises them taking a break from the idol life.
Wonwoo and Minghao examining the diamond
Wonwoo has the diamond now, and he’s got it under a magnifying glass and he’s examining it closely.
The magnifying glass gives you the chance to see something’s flaws. With the recent Curry incident, Wonwoo’s seen the ugly side of stardom (personal take: yes he messed up, but I do think it was an honest mistake, please no discourse in the comments). He looks at it, he sees the flaws, and he puts it down; he’s examined it for flaws and he needs to take some time away from being an idol (see: him basically going off the radar for a while there).
Why does Minghao grab the diamond and run off with it? A ton of things happened to SVT in recent months, which are largely referenced in chronological order: Coups’ hiatus > Jeonghan’s hiatus > Itaewon incident > Curry incident > The Tag and Minghao getting a ton of attention.
Hao really shone so much in The Tag for his cool attitude; he got talked about everywhere, GoSe views shot up, and new Carats were converted! (The attention on Hao also helped the controversies to start dying down, because the news had something new and interesting to talk about.) Beyond GoSe, Hao's just been getting a ton of attention lately - Falling Down, more screen time, and more lines! (I've been so bias wrecked by him it's not even funny.) He really be running off with the diamond and all the love from the fandom that he deserves ~
(personally, I really hope that The Tag will be the start of a nice, peaceful period, with lots of love and no incidents for our diamond boys ~)
Seungkwan and the pool table
After a fun bowling alley dance break, the diamond lands on the pool table and people start fighting over it before Seungkwan gets fed up and throws the diamond at the camera.
The moment I saw this scene, I was reminded of the fight in OFD (aka probably the only time SVT has really, actually fought onscreen). The thing about shows is that so much is done for “entertainment”. In the media industry, there’s a need to create drama to keep viewers watching and people interested. It’s an ugly, toxic part of stardom. I really, really hated that part of OFD; how hard the PDs pushed the boys to keep things entertaining, causing the hyper-competitive spirit and all the drama, was just too much for me.
But in OFD, Seungkwan worked really hard to reconcile the two teams, and to me that’s Seungkwan. He’s the one who’s good at variety and a drama queen, but he cares about the others so much. He’s not going to let stardom and the need to be entertaining actually, really affect their relationships. If the need to put on a show for the camera is creating conflict? Break the camera.
(also, pay attention to the newspaper at the end of this segment: the diamond is literally named the Carat Star - doesn’t it make sense that it symbolises CARATs and stardom?)
Jun, Woozi, and the brick wall
We’re back where the MV started at the brick wall, which I believe to be the brick wall from the L&R MV.
Jun just sees the diamond and… stops and blinks. Honestly the expression on his face is peak comedy right there and I feel like that’s so Jun. Thoughtful, quiet (at least on camera), observant, and just… intensely and effortlessly funny?! I’ve always felt that he’s someone who’s so incredibly gifted - visuals, vocals, dance - and he needs more love ~ (oops my ult bias is showing)
On the other hand, Woozi goes up there, grabs his bat, and breaks the glass to get the diamond. This has a couple of interpretations for me. As Seventeen’s producer, Woozi’s the one taking charge of their music; so much of their success from the start is because of his production (not forgetting Hoshi’s choreo, Vernon’s writing, Coups’ leadership, and the overall OT13!) He really takes charge of their musical sound, which has been so important in their rise to stardom and getting CARATs to slip into the diamond life.
Also, remember how I said we’re at the L&R wall? Heng:garae was Seventeen’s most successful comeback to date, and they shattered a ton of their previous records, just like Jihoon’s out here breaking the glass!
OT13 and Forever Diamond
In the last scene, we get a huge OT13 dance with fireworks and the words “Forever Diamond” in the background.
This scene actually made me cry the first time I saw it. The words made me think of that Weverse post that got Hoshi crying: even if one day Seventeen isn’t performing any more, they’ll still have been a part of our lives, and we’ll hear their names and remember that they were a part of our lives that brought us joy. The members have often talked about how much they all mean to each other, and how they hope that their relationship can last forever (see: HTR and also the Going 70 segment of Caratland). They’ve also expressed their hope that we’ll continue to love them for a long time. (dang why the heck am I crying while typing this)
“Forever Diamond” encapsulates the relationship that SEVENTEEN and CARATs have so well: they’re our diamond boys, and we’ve slipped into the diamond life. We’re both each other’s forever diamonds.
To the last say the name, and beyond!
Tagging: @hyeri-yah and @leannehuang bc the two of you liked hearing the initial draft of this long theory ~
#seventeen#kpop#svt#home;run#semicolon#my work#s.coups#choi seungcheol#seungcheol#scoups#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan#hong jisoo#joshua hong#shua#jun#wen junhui#hoshi#kwon soonyoung#soonyoung#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo#woozi#lee jihoon#jihoon#the8#xu minghao#minghao#seo myungho#moon junhui
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BTS (my unrequited love)
BTS came from a small company, they started with nothing. Jin who was casted just because of his looks Suga who left his family and gambled his education just to do what he really wanted to be, Namjoon who was never been supported by his parents, Jimin who thought himself as ugly and fat, Taehyung whose always been part of BTS but was never showed in any promotions- not until debut, Hoseok who seemed to always laugh but never felt as an accomplishment to his father. Jungkook who was very shy and have saved his parents at a young age by auditioning to companies. Remember the days when they were struggling? They even had to sacrifice and work hard just so they could eat? They were squeezing themselves into one small apartment and had to take responsibilities- the reason why they wrote the song 'MOVE' Those times when Jimin has to starve himself just because people call him fat and ugly. That one interview where Yoongi said that: it was nice that people listen to their music because Taehyung and Jungkook are good looking.And he thought that it was at least enough. Do you remember when Hoseok was supposed to be the vocalist and Taehyung the rapper, but he chose to rap instead and learn it because Taehyung wanted to be the vocalist. It was Taehyungs dream and Hoseok loves his dongsaeng that much he would sacrifice. Other fan bases were accusing them for plagiarism just because they had the smallest detail whose the same with other big Kpop groups which was actually just a coincidence. There was a time when Yoongi packed 300 gifts and Letters just to give to their 300 fans who will attend at their mini fan meetings. So why do people judge them so fastly? Did you know that Jimin came all the way to Seoul from Busan just to persuade his dreams? Did you know that Taehyung lived with his grandma for almost half of his life making him innocent from what else is out there in our world? Did you know that Jungkook set aside his embarrassment just to meet the others expectations? Yes, he is the Golden maknae, but he suffers too when he sees his hyungs having a hard time, he cries. And there was a time when Jimin caught him crying and the reason was because he missed his family. Jungkook often cries secretly so that his hyungs wouldn’t worry. Did you know that Jin auditioned to make his mother proud of him and so that his mother had something to brag off to those judgmental neighbors they had. He worked hard on his vocals yet people called him talentless. Did you know that Namjoon worked hard just to produce songs yet there was a time when his mother ruined his computer and broke his mike so he could focus on studying? Did you know Hoseok auditioned because he wanted his father to be proud of him? Because he felt he was a disappointment? Those rookie days where they only listened to the awardings and be amazed by their seniors. They couldn’t do anything but watch those idols who received the awards. They were contented. And now they reached the top and became more successful. From 150 fans to 6 million and counting, From a small practice room to a bigger one From a cramped dorm with roommates to a big dorm were they each a room, From one daesang award to more awards and they’ve even won on BBMA’s. BTS never expected this before their fourth year anniversary, they’ve com so far- so far that the only chance we have to see them is to go to their concert (NEVER) meet them along the street with 0.01% chance. But really ARMYs!! We’ve came this far fam, let’s love them and give them our support till the end! I wanted to thank you all . I love you fam! I love u BTS! Let’s stay together until the end. If you believe in what I’ve said. If you believe in 1!2!3! A true ARMY shall spread Also! This not mine! I got this from another BTS MV. Plz spread this! And once again... I PURPLE YOU ARMY!
(found this on youtube)(made me cry)
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BTS Caretaker CH13
Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?
- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)
- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au
- Word Count: 3,604
- Author Note:Late update again hmm i was a little busy these days with work ;( i appreciate your feedback and comment, just drop in my ASK BOX :)
Previous | Next
Chapter 13
“Who stole the cookies on the table?” Jin yelled in disbelief as he noticed the disappearance of the supposed to be Seul’s present. The culprit was among them and the only person who was capable of such thing as Kim Taehyung. At the end of the day, it would always be Taehyung.
Hope glanced over his shoulder “What cookies? I thought we have eaten it all” he reasoned with his eyes fixated on the screen.
“The cookies in the small pink box” Jin scowled.
“Ah, I saw it this morning but didn’t open it. Ask Kookie, he was the last one in the kitchen not long ago” Jungkook flinched in his seat with a disapproval look.
He retorted sarcastically “I might be the last one but I am not the culprit.” Hoseok snickered with a small shrug teasing the younger guy.
“Who was it for again?” Hoseok inquired.
“No one”
“Lies. It is for the caretaker agashi, Seul” Namjoon shows up with a messy bed hair, while yawning loudly in process. To hear Seul’s name, Yoongi’s ears perked up showing his interest. He tried not to be too obvious, it was even more confusing for him.
Jimin mumbled under his breath in his usual cutesy tone “Why are you giving the cookies to Seul?” he looked over only to witness Jin’s red face. This was something new to see, Jin getting flustered over a simple question, what exactly happened? Does he have any feelings for Seul?
“It is not for Seul! Don’t listen to Joon!” he sent a death glare at Namjoon’s way, but the latter only rolled his eyes in response. He knew what he saw on the table, Namjoon peeked at the notes too so no matter how hard Jin tried to deny the truth, he wouldn’t trust him.
“But, you packed it so nicely? Is it for Moonbyul-ssi?” he raised his eyebrows.
Jin frowned not liking where this will lead him, one after another now he was dragging his fellow 92-liner friend in the conversation “Moonbyul is just a friend. My best friend. Stop speculating” he pressed.
“Mamamoo’s Moonbyul is single though. She is cool. I approve her” Namjoon joked earning another dangerous glare from the older guy. His laughter died down as he raised both of his arm “I am joking. Chill” he snickered.
“Then is it for Seul?” Jimin continued to get the answer from Jin, he showed no sign of retreat. With heavy heart, Jin nodded slowly while biting his lower lips “Why?” he heard the younger guy mumbled with a hint of confusion and annoyance.
“Because she kind of helped me that night, so as a token of appreciation, I baked her cookies. Gosh, why are you asking me this?”
“Just because….”
“What?”
“………”
“Jimin… do you like her?” asked Hoseok. He tore his eyes from the screen and stared at Jimin’s way with a baffled look. Jimin’s eyes shot open, “W-hat no.. I am just curious?” he defended himself. It was not a time to appear weak and suspicious. Not that he likes her that way, but what he was trying to indicate here was, he might like her that way. That was so messed up.
“But you sound defensive” Namjoon chewed the green apple in his hand with a playful smirk. Mister always grumpy Min Yoongi now was on his feet, getting ready to leave the living room, he did not know why he felt so affected by this.
“Why are we talking about her? She is just a fucking stalker” he marched to his room leaving everyone in dazed.
Jin rubbed his temple with a heavy sigh “Did Min Yoongi just curse? I swear I will fucking kill him one day” he exclaimed.
“Hyung, you just cursed too” said the maknae.
“Gosh, this is annoying. Okay, who is responsible of the missing cookies again?!” he stopped rambling when he saw the only missing member in the earlier conversation walked towards his direction with wide grin. Jin swore to god, he saw a tiny piece of cookies at the corner of Taehyung’s mouth as an evidence of his bad deed. So, he was the culprit all along as he expected.
Taehyung became wary of the stares that he received from the floor at the moment. He ducked his head to avoid Namjoon’s small jab and went straight to Jin “Why is it so tense?” tilting his head innocently, Taehyung pursed his lips.
“Someone stole the cookies on the table” he said flatly.
“Oh that cookie! It was not stolen, I ate them!”
“KIM TAEHYUNG!”
Taehyung was jittering at Jin’s sudden hollered which almost cost hearing lost “What the hell hyung! Why are you screaming in my ears?” he rubbed his ear with a slight pout.
Jin gaped at his action while calming down his aching nerves, if he were to smack someone tonight it would be either him or Park Jimin. These 95-liner best friend are real troublemakers, what a pain to his head.
There goes his effort in preparing small gift for Seul. He had to find another way to say thank you then, thanks to Kim Taehyung.
--------------------------
Following their winning from Melon Music Awards two weeks ago, the boys swept another daesang award in Mnet Music Awards later the following month. It was an emotional night for all of them even for Min Yoongi whom seemed to play it cool, he broke down on stage without he realized. It became a talk of whole country due to Yoongi’s legendary cries. Everyone has suffered a lot during their debut days, to win something grand was no exception in giving them this roller coaster feelings.
Seul watched the award show together with her mother and Hoon just because the two are the biggest Bangtan’s fans in the century. In contrary, her mother’s affection towards the boys are more like a mother and son feeling. For once, Seul did not blame her mother to bawl her eyes together with Bangtan as soon as their name was announced as the winner of Artist of the Year award.
Mrs Hwang watched how the boys grow from boys to men, she fed them, cleaned their place and sometimes she would give a good motherly advice. The boys and Mrs Hwang usually exchanged notes whenever they needed an opinion from a mother figure like Mrs Hwang. Under certain circumstances, there were time the boys requested to meet her personally, but she did not want to disobey the company’s rules, so they have never met.
Seul watched the television screen diligently how the group was taken aback by the announcement and how Jimin immediately slouched on the seat while palming his face, he looked adorable in her eyes. For the first time in her life, she saw how they exchanged a genuine smile as everyone gathered for a big group hug.
The leader of the group was seen to be holding back himself, not trying to break down as the members were looking as dazed as him. He was the leader, so he had to stand on his feet with pride. A small smile appeared across Seul’s face upon seeing how Yoongi and Jimin were the last member to walk after others. He had to drag surprise Jimin together with him, throwing his arm around the younger guy so they could receive the award.
She wondered it must be one hell of ride for everyone.
“Aigoo.. aigoo.. look at jiminie and yoongi fooling around on stage even before they received the awards” she heard her mother chuckled softly.
Hoon grinned “Jimin hyung still can’t believe they won the award! Look at his face!” he clasped his hand together and to Seul’s annoyance, she really hated it when Hoon tried to sound super friendly addressing the boys with hyung.
Seul’s eyes moved to Taehyung as he was the one who lead the group along with Namjoon walking casually beside him. Her heart softens to see Taehyung’s expression which was in between of breaking down into ugly sobs or smiled away like he always did. It was amusing how Taehyung looked so lost in between his walk to the award presenter, as if his heart chanted something ‘We did it. We did it. Is it us’ like a mantra? His face really gave away that feeling.
Finally, everyone had reached to the centre of the stage as Namjoon took a moment to compose himself. As usual, the pressure would be on the leader’s shoulder. He needed a moment to say something whilst others scanned the area with a satisfied smile.
Namjoon leaned forward with a heavy sigh, his heart was pounding madly as if it would come out by anytime soon. Seul shifted in her seat fixing her gaze on the nervous guy in the screen. She had never seen any of awards show with Bangtan in it, since this is her first time, Seul was intrigued to know Namjoon.
While Namjoon tried to gather his thought together, Yoongi’s small action caught Seul attention. He was clapping hard following the audiences most probably he wanted to get rid of the nervousness that slowly eating him up. Yoongi was about to cry, she knew it. She could see the glistening of tears in his eyes even the sunshine ball Hoseok who stood calmly beside him, was chewing his lower lips to not let himself dwell in the emotion.
Namjoon blinked his tears and he finally said a word “Army…” Seul glanced over her mother whom had started crying her heart out. How touching wasn’t it?
“Thank you so much. Seriously… we went through a lot since we debuted and there were people who said we would not make it” he continued with a shaky voice. Her heart clenched in pain, she blinked in sheer surprised. Who were those horrible people that belittled their talents and efforts? Shame on those people.
When the screen changed to reveal other members expression whilst Namjoon continued his speech, Jungkook was seen to already shed tears while Jimin as usual keep his stare fix at that one man, Kim Namjoon with so much adoration and love.
“Thank you so much for believing in us until the end”
Stood beautifully in between Jimin and Taehyung looking all sombre and distressed was Jin, the same guy that she found at the corner of a dark room few weeks ago when they received their first daesang. Seul’s bit her nails occasionally studying Jin’s calm expression. She could tell he was not as calm as he appeared, Jin was in a deep thought. Would it be a good thing?
Just please don’t belittle of yourself again Kim Seokjin. Seul prayed earnestly, concerned with his insecurity.
“This is something we only dreamt about so thank you for making our dream a reality. I would like to thank Bang Shi Hyuk Pd, the executives of Big Hit Entertainment who led us on. And people who make good music with us, Pdogg, Rabbit hyungs and Supreme Boi. And our Teacher Sung Deuk and the staff”
BAM! A rush of sadness gushed inside Seul, he was crying. Kim Seokjin was shedding his tears again and it somewhat pained her. Why was she acting this way? It was only a onetime thing when she witnessed Jin’s most fragile state. Yet to be affected this much was so wrong.
Jin slowly nodded to every Namjoon’s words and letting his tears cascaded down beautifully “Thank you to all the staff who have been with us. Thank you so much for making our dreams a reality. And .. Armys all over the world, lets fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 as well” Namjoon breathed deeply as he was struggling between the overwhelming emotion that he felt right now and to give a good ending speech.
“Poor baby kook, I want to give him a hug” Mrs Hwang heaved a heavy sigh. “That kid was the purest of all, he cried a lot during their earlier debut days. My heart breaks to see him crying like this” she sniffed.
“BTS loves Armys always. Thank you very much”
“Mother look over there, Yoongi hyung is crying so hard at that side!” Hoon gasped dramatically. Was it rare to see Yoongi cried? Yes.
“When Yoongi cried meaning this thing meant the world to him. He is man with of few words, a great guy to all he met”
“Thank you. I love You. I hope our music and our performance can be your dreams as well. I hope that our stage and our performances and our music can be the hopes and dreams of the world. Thank you very much. We’ll do our best! Thank you”
Namjoon’s voice started to fade away in Seul’s mind, and her attention was now fully on the small guy who sobbed hard beside Namjoon. The playful and flirty side of Yoongi just disappeared instantly, he looked so vulnerable and fragile. Something that she couldn’t usually see anywhere. She clutched the armrest steadying her heavy breathing ‘Min Yoongi, just what are you?’ Seul found herself getting shaky over him.
Will he be alright? Seul could not stop but to think about the rest of the members especially Yoongi. Was she being too hard on him before and jumped into conclusion without knowing his true side? However, they are not in that kind of relationship which required her to super nice towards him.
This was too much for her again.
------------------
Meanwhile in Hong Kong, the boys were all gathered in one room, sitting on the couch with a hard face. None of them uttered any words ever since they arrived in their hotel room. They were no longer in their fancy award outfits but only plain white shirt underneath it.
Their eyes were puffy after a long and hard crying at the backstage as soon as they were away from prying eyes. In between these four concrete walls, everyone was silenced only heavy breathing could be heard. Their managers had left earlier to give space for the boys to recuperate the situation.
“Wow, this is one hell of a night” calm Hoseok broke the silence garnering everyone’s attention back to the floor.
Jimin lips twisted upwards as he spoke “Yoongi hyung, I have never seen you cried that hard. Was it real?” he pondered.
His sudden questions turned Yoongi into ripe tomatoes, he stammered between his words “Yah, forget about that.. I was caught off guard.. and I just cried” Yoongi ran his hand at the back of his neck, massaging it softly.
“It is alright to cry sometimes” Namjoon gave his hyung a light pat with a wide smile.
The room fell into dead silence again for umpteenth time. There were so many things ran into their mind right now and it was hard to bring it out one by one. Frustrated, everyone heaved a sync groan under their breath which turned into a light chuckle afterwards.
“I guess this is it” the leader whispered lowly enough for everyone to hear.
“We did it..” he scanned each of the members face with a stupidly proud grin that never left his face ever since the award show ended.
Jin leaned on his seat, crossing his legs “We did it..again” he smiled genuinely easing the tense atmosphere in the room moments ago. Within a second, the room became lively with loud chattered from every corner reminiscing their good old times together. The boys talked a lot of things from how they started this whole journey until where they achieved so far.
The night was spent with their mini celebration in the small room, exchanging stories and even ideas on how they should improve themselves in the next comeback. It has been a great pleasure for all of them to serve as one of Bangtan’s members and they will never be tired become one.
This will be the start of their new year resolution, just like Namjoon stressed in his speech earlier, “Let’s fly with our beautiful Wings as well in 2017”. They are living to this word, there is no turning back now.
Bangtan Sonyeondan will spread their wings wide to spread love and hope all over the world.
----------------
3 AM. She was awoken up by the vibration of her phone. Groggily, Seul picked up the call without even looking at the screen. Her mind and body were too tired to even force out words coming from her mouth.
She pressed the phone on her ears as she continued to snuggle under her warm blanket. Who on earth called her at 3 in the morning?
“ Hey.. Is this Ji Seul”
“Speaking” she mumbled under her breath with a hint of annoyance.
“Are you sleeping?” the person at the end of the line held back his chuckle trying not to show his amusement over Seul’s cuteness.
Seul scoffed sleepily “What kind of question is that? Obviously, since it is 3 AM”
“Oh, sorry for bothering you.” he mumbled with a pout. Seul was too drowsy to decipher the owner of the voice so she wanted to inquire more and ended this phone call, but she heard his soft voice hummed incoherently.
She squeezed her eyes trying to stay awake at least, “This is Jin…” upon listening to that one name, Seul’s eyes widened. Was she dreaming? Was this a prank pulled by stupid people?
“How did you get my number?” she bewildered.
“I have my ways and it involves urm.. your mother”
“Crazy…” Seul rubbed her eyes with a soft yawn. “Okay what do you want Jin-ssi” she grumbled.
Jin sighed softly “Nothing, just wanted to hear your voice” he confessed sweetly causing her to shudder under his manly yet soft voice. It took Seul a moment to gather her sense back afraid that she might blurt out some nonsense.
“So…congratulations” she softly hummed.
“You watched it?” Jin’s pitch hiked up to one octave but he immediately lowered his voice since others were already asleep. Another soft hum coming from Seul was enough to answer to his excitement.
“I thought you are not a fan” he smug.
Seul rolled her eyes “But I am a good citizen supporting our local’s music” he chuckled softly at her randomness. “So, are you alright?” she said worriedly. It touched his heart to receive even a simple attention from someone like Seul. To this extent, he didn’t realize how much he craved for a normal life by simply having a companion with him that can share every nook and cranny of his worries with the person.
“Are you asking onstage Jin, or the Kim Seokjin?”
“Both..you cried pretty hard last night and it is ugly” she sassed.
“Hey, everyone said my tears could literally create world peace! It is not ugly Ji Seul-ssi” he sulks. Seul giggled at his absurdity, speaking of high level of confidence, Jin had his own level. Seul was not surprised at all.
Jin loved her small laughter to the core, it washed away the worries engulfed in him. That was the reason why he begged for the caretaker ahjumma’s phone number from their managers. Thankfully, they didn’t question him further, so they gave it away without an exchange of anything. Once he obtained the way to contact the caretaker lady, he immediately secured Seul’s contact without much hassle.
Guess, it was his lucky day.
“I love your laughter”
Seul fell into silence and she shifted shyly under her cover as if Jin was there in front of her. Giving her no chance to respond, Jin whispered “And.. to answer your question. On stage Jin and the Kim Seokjin are doing fine. I think your words of advice still linger in my head” he murmured.
“I am glad you are not crying at the corner again”
“Were you worried that I might urm.. be having that moment again?”
“Kind of”
Jin softened “Thank you Seul-ah” he dropped the formality between them which taken her off guard.
“What happen to Ji Seul-ssi?” she bit her lower lips nervously.
“I think it only makes sense if you call me oppa. How old are you?” he reasoned.
“I am 22.. We are not that close to address each other so informally. I don’t think I can call you oppa” she blushed furiously. Seul too did not think she could survive a day with this thought of calling Jin an oppa out of sudden. Wouldn’t that be too intimate?
“Ah...Jims and Tae age. Why can’t you? Let’s be closed from now on, so you can address me oppa”
“You are as annoying as Yoongi. Persistence as hell” she let out an exhaust sigh. Jin took the cue to end the call, he could sense Seul’s voice started to fade away “Let’s talk about this again when we meet again later” he suggested.
“Who says I am meeting you again. That time will be the first and the last one” she yawned without shame. Screw it, not that she had to impress Jin with anything. She didn’t care of her own image.
Jin let out a soft chuckle “We will see about that. Go sleep, and I will see you soon. Good night Seul” he hung up before the girl could say anything because he knew it won’t be beautiful. Seul’s mouth is just as nasty as Yoongi and hell it stung one’s hear like bee sting. That did not rhyme at all.
Throwing his exhausted body on the bed, he smiled to himself “I will see you again for sure, Seul” he shut his eyes preparing himself to sleep.
This work belongs to Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.
#bts#btsfanfic#bts fanfiction#bts series#jungkook x oc#jin x you#bts fluff#bts romance#bts idolau#bts idol#yoongi x oc#jimin x oc#yoongi fluff#jungkook fluff#bts caretaker
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Lets talk about Park Jimin.
This boy right here, dating back to somewhere in the streets of Busan, at the age of seven he wanted to be the world’s greatest swordsman and was obsessed with dinosaurs up until middle school. The he discovered singing and told his father that he wanted to be a singer and his dad said, you do you the light of my life; fastrack a few years when in middle school he decided (as if a gift from God) to become a dancer and started doing ballet and contemporary along with street dance specializing in popping. (talk about talent).
He continued being a fire dancer and if I may flex, the busan street battle champion. His dance academy literally allowed him to learn for free cause he was just.that.good. A few years down the line he was faced with a little bit of a crossroads where he had to choose between being a professional dancer or give his dreams a try and enter the kpop industry. Jimin had four scholarships lined up for him no big deal but he decided (again, as if a gift from God) to audition for big hit entertainment and ended up being a trainee.
He met Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin , taehyung and Jungkook. People he will eventually end up loving more than anything he’ll ever love. Namjoon and Yoongi had always been kind of an enigma, one being the leader and the other being as detached from life as it gets but their lyrics always spoke what they never did. Jin was a bit difficult to understand at first but with time it started feeling weird if there wasn’t someone joking around and making everyone smile even when their legs felt like giving out. Hoseok was someone who inspired the dancer in Jimin, the way he smiled so effortlessly even while doing the hardest of chereohraphies was something to adore. Taehyung and Jimin went to the same high school and in no time became the bestest of friends, they were practically inseparable; soulmates to be exact. Sometimes it felt like they only had each other to rely on. Jungkook on the other hand was a literal child who made Jimin want to constantly dote on him and how could he not love this lil boy who somehow felt like Busan, felt like home.
The trainee period was honestly hell in every possible sense; Jimin had the shortest trainee period and trained for mere months as opposed to the three years of training everyone else had. A lot of people including the CEO of the company were at some points against Jimin being in the group which resulted in him getting kicked out a couple of times. It was a long hard training period for this boy from Busan but eventually with nothing but sheer hard work, willpower and undeniable skills he ended up being the main dancer and the lead vocalist of Bangtan boys. (Pause for flex)
After what seemed like an endless struggle, the d day came and BTS debuted on 13th June, 2013. It was honestly shocking to some to see a rookie band having such a high skill set. Their debut was somehow the talk of the town. Amusingly enough, Everyone seemed to be talking about this guy who shows his abs during the performances. It helped with the popularity but as with all good things in life, it had a major downside. He was a minor who was forced to show his body when he literally requested against it and this in-turn left him with insecurities about his gorgeous body that’ll haunt him for years to come.
BTS weren’t really that big when they debuted, they were from a small company with limited funds and had to slowly build their way to the top amongst all the prejudice thrown at them.
Jimin grew up somewhere along the way.
Everyone seemed to love his pretty eye smile, the way he smiled with those eyes that made people feel at home. Everyone talked about how amazing he is all the time but somehow Jimin didn’t seem to believe. He somehow always saw himself as lacking something, always not enough. So he practiced;
There was Jimin; practicing, constantly striving to be better and more better. Burning out his body dancing, loosing his voice singing and rehearsing till he collapses. He kept practicing to sing better, kept collapsing till he danced better and kept starving till he looked better.
He just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. Even in the vlog that was being filmed for his own birthday he couldn’t quite focus on the cake or his friends but somehow was busy covering his face with his hands because he felt like who he was without makeup wasn’t good enough.
A lot of things changed. Years, haircolours, eras; at the end of it all was one fateful day of May 5th, 2015 when BTS had their first win and for some reason Jimin couldn’t stop crying. It was hard believing that all his struggles are finally being rewarded; it felt unreal like it was a secret camera or his birthday but it was real and things were about to get even more real.
Then came wings and Jimin had to write a song for his solo and it was honestly difficult for him to settle on one thing so he kept working and kept editing and after months on end he came out with the lyrics to a song called ‘lie’. This song was the most genius thing most people had heard. It became the most popular of all the solos that were in that particular album. It set records on spotify and instantly became a highlight for their tour as well.
Somehow, a song that was so widely loved had lyrics that were downright disturbing. He kept pleading for himself to be saved from hell. He kept saying that there are these voices that he hears and how he’s astray and how he needs to be rescued, desperately needs to be saved but nobody really cared about the lyrics as long as the choreography showed his collarbones & a choker.
A year down the line came the fateful concept of blood sweat & tears. Jimin had a lot riding on him for this. Being the center of their main single was something that was quite hard but Jimin had always been up for challenges.
He thought he had to be better, more better and the only way to be better was to look good because that’s what they say right? They say, your eyes desire first and the heart comes along later right? So he starved. He starved himself to the point where he ate one proper meal in ten days. He kept feeling tired and collapsed a few times during rehearsals but it doesn’t matter cause it was working right? People went crazy about him in blood sweat & tears. It was a sight to see, people falling for him faster than his jacket falls off his shoulder. Blood sweat tears Jimin became a standard for sexy and charismatic that only few in kpop could reach. Who cares about his health as long as the focus fancams keep coming in, yeah?
Things went on like this and damn BTS were on fire. Bangtan boys went from nobodies from a small company to being the biggest band in the world. They won many awards. They won daesangs and BBMAS and every other award that could fit in their bag. It was surreal. They achieved all the dreams that they had set out to achieve but this also meant that they were in uncharted territories. No one had quite done what they were doing. With the realization of being the best came the realization of being all alone on the top; Here set in the existential crises. It seemed like everyone was having a hard time, all the members were struggling too much and it was all too overwhelming to the point where they had to even consider disbanding and there are a lot of things that Jimin hadn’t imagined happening that happened but boy, this was the least of them all.
He was struggling so much but it was all on the inside you know? Never quite on surface. On surface he was everyone’s resident mochi but in reality there was hate, just so much fucking hate it made his head hurt. Everytime he opened twitter there were a dozen comments about how Jimin as a singer, as a dancer, as an artist; as a person just wasn’t enough.
But he kept powering through. Kept walking with his head high even though he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Jimin along the way decided to write a song of his own. Something that is Jimin in it’s very essence. To begin with it was a song about how he wasn’t enough. It got so bad that at one point he was practically cursing himself through his own song for just not being enough.
Along the way, there was a concert. It was one of the biggest they had ever done; citifield USA. It was a big damn deal. It felt unreal seeing so many people with their army bombs held high, tears in their eyes, all for these seven boys. Jimin was reminded of a time some months back when he was watching a video of his fans singing ‘young forever’ and how back in the day when he was having a hard time figuring himself out, he had cried his out to that song and to the people he loves so much. He couldn’t quite contain that feeling and ended up crying during the encore and boy when he cried it rained in some hearts. He cried looking at the sea of people that was no longer a mirage. Jimin being Jimin, decided that he wouldn’t sing about his struggle and his pain but would much rather sing about the fruits at the end of his despair so, he took some time out, got himself back on his own feet and did a complete 360 for his solo song.
Instead of talking about how his pain and his struggle bothered him he just promised himself to not allow those things to bother him anymore. It was honestly therapeutic. The song that came out at the end of all this pain was a ‘promise’. A promise to help himself get through the night.
It was a long motherfucking road till here but at the end of all despair there was just one answer that he found, loving himself. The end of his despair wasn’t in how other people loved him but in how he needed to love himself, so now a days he does just that.
He loves himself.
He is goofy on stage, he doesn’t strictly stick to choreography now a days, he has his fun on stage. He isn’t scared of changing notes live on stage because even if his voice cracks or if he misses a step, now he knows, it’s only human. He eats too, atleast that’s what he tells his people. He does live shows where he is eating and tells everyone that he loves having midnight snacks and that he won’t diet again. Some people choose to believe him having no other choice but to hope he’s not caught in a lie again. The best thing though is that, He smiles a lot too recently and it’s the same smile; the same pre debut, familiar coming home Jimin eyesmile.
Guess it’s like coming home afterall, the 18 year boy who left a career, his hometown, all his loved ones and moved to the big city of Seoul all for a single dream that he had no guarantee of ever fulfilling. It really is coming home, coming home to himself and realizing that after all these years the only thing that has changed is that he became BTS’s Jimin from Park Jimin but underneath it all it’s just that same boy from Busan who can’t laugh without flinging his body across the room. The same boy who gets offended when asked about his height. The same little boy with the world’s biggest heart holding all of the love in his lil’ mochi hands and his little pinky that he has intertwined to make a promise, not just for us to love us but for him to love himself the way he deserves to be loved.
And honestly, I think that’s fucking beautiful.
#park jimin#bts#bts jimin#bangtan boys#jimin#jikook#jihope#vmin#minjoon#yoonmin#bangtan#kim seokjin#kim namjoon#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#jhope#min yoongi#kookmin#kpop#mochi#chimchim#pjm#jiminstans#promise#park jiminie#bts jiminie
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FULL.SHOW | KBS Song Festival (2020) — KBS Gayo Daechukje 2020 [ENGSUB] HD-720p.
Live Stream KBS Song Festival (KBS Gayo Daechukje) 2020 Live Concert streams free all around the world. Visit here to get up-to-the-minute Concert news coverage. FULL CONCERT Watch Live Streaming : KBS Song Festival (KBS Gayo Daechukje) 2020 Live Full Concert (18 December 2020 2:00 PM KST) LIVE HERE >> http://flashserieshd.online/tv/40292-15-1/kbs-song-festival.html
Watch KBS Song Festival — Season 15 Episode 1 : Episode 1 HD free TV Show | TV Shows & Movies An Annual End-of-the-year Music Program Broadcast By Korean Broadcasting System, Replacing The KBS Music Awards.flashserieshd.online
KBS Gayo Daechukje began in 1999 under the name of ‘Mnet Music Video Daesang’. It was renamed as the ‘Mnet KM Music Video Festival’ in 2004, and as the ‘Mnet KM Music Festival’ in 2006. It was eventually renamed as the ‘KBS Song Festival’ in 2009, marking a new beginning as an Asian music awards. Since 2010, KBS Gayo Daechukje was held in Macau, Singapore, Hong Kong, earning the aspects of global awards. In 2017, KBS Gayo Daechukje was held in Vietnam, Japan, and Hong Kong. In 2018, KBS Gayo Daechukje was held in three different locations in Asia in a span of a week — Korea, Japan, and Hong Kong, It established itself as one of the Asia’s best music award ceremonies.
Last year, KBS Gayo Daechukje was joined by more than 40,000 viewers in 200 countries across the world. This year, it dreams to show how MUSIC MAKES ONE facing the New Normal Era. It aims to prove K-pop’s risen worldwide status with its genuine performances and music, and aims to connect fans beyond race, nationality, and generation through technology. 2020 KBS Gayo Daechukje will again become a new global music festival where music fans all over the world can communicate and enjoy together.
KBS Song Festival (KBS Gayo Daechukje) 2020
Exo
Got7
NCT
Monsta X
BTS
Seventeen
Kang Daniel
Park Jin-young
Baekhyun
Zico
Taemin
Date: Dec. 18, Sunday 4:00 PM KST
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Kpop fans be getting mad if their fav doesn’t win soty or daesang without understanding how they’re even decided or awarded👀like just cause you liked the song or it was popular internationally doesn’t mean it’ll win. it’s korean sales and reception matter. that’s why boy with luv beat fancy. It’s literally still charting on some korean music charts even now. It had the most music show wins. Etc. Ljke blinks be like “hylt is soty” which i’m not saying it won’t or will be but how do u know?
yeah like BP is very popular in the US, more so than in south korea. i assume that's because they promoted so hard in the west because they wanted to be like BTS (who im not a stan of but i respect hard) who was able to take off overseas without having to change too much. Plus, their [BP's] music sounds like your average western pop jam. which is definitely why i have such an issue. i feel as though the western pop style is just kinda throw something basic and repetative together so fans can easily learn it (because who wants to spend a long ass time learning a new song?) and get it stuck in their head. like take Bad Guy-Billie Eillish. i don't listen to Billie anymore because like BP her music to me became repetative and basic. Anyway, Bad Guy was everywhere for the longest time. It truly would get stuck in your head because it's super basic and repetative.
anyway lemme not rant right now. basically most Blinks are from the west because BP doesn't sound like kpop it sounds like average western pop music but to their crazed fans they believe it's the be all end all of music when again it's basic at best and therefore they get super heated when they feel BP (or their faves in general) get "snubbed" because music that keeps the kpop style tends to be more popular in south korea.
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CHAPTER 33: Jump Around
BEFORE HOTEL CALIFORNIA, IN KOREATOWN...
The stoplight on the corner of West Olympic and Irolo turns red and a dark green 2018 Audi A6 stops accordingly. After a minute, the light turns green and the Audi turns onto Irolo, gliding past the Terra-cotta shopfronts, emblazoned with bold Korean characters. Men with graying temples tend these stores. Some of them happen to look out the window at the right moment and fall quiet as they recognize the car as it passes.
25 years ago, a number of these same men took up firearms in defense of their homes and businesses, against those that would riot, loot and burn. They can tell you about those days, how the city of Los Angeles cannibalized itself, the great plumes of smoke that rose into the sky. They can tell you about the young man in thick glasses who stood among them, different from the rest. But they won’t. They watch the glossy Audi pass by, and say nothing.
It pulls into the sidewalk on Wilshire Blvd. All-Kill steps out of the driver’s side. T’onga clambers out of the backseat, shielding her eyes against the sun glaring through the grey-brown clouds. Grimacing, she inspects her dark fur coat and brushes the left side vigorously, trying to dislodge the thick grey hairs clinging to it.
She grunts as a large dog trots out of the backseat, shoving her out of the way. If one were to inspect more closely, they would see it’s not a dog at all, but a wolf with piercing amber eyes. It pads to All-Kill’s side. He reaches down and scratches it between its ears, then approaches a blocky building, stepping out of the heat. T’onga follows, in silence.
Without knocking, they step into an apartment on the third floor. Dust and empty coffee mugs line every surface, and old movie posters cover the walls. Sang-ok sits on a couch in the living room, leaning forward watching a technicolor Kung-fu film. A woman in a white, Chinese-style outfit exchanges blows with a bare-shirted man, his torso covered in scars. Another woman stands at the side, the close-ups on her airbrushed to illustrate her beauty, as she clutches her chest when the man is kicked to the ground.
“That movie? Again?” All-Kill asks.
The young man starts at the sound and turns sharply. Seeing his mentor, he exclaims, “It’s not a movie, it’s a film! And yes, again! Every time I watch, you can pick up on something new! Like, look right here-”
“Save it. Pause it, time for a family meeting.”
Reluctantly, he pauses the film and follows them into the kitchen. “Is this about what I think it is?” he whispers to T’onga.
“I know as much as you do, man,” she replies.
All-Kill peeks through the blinds at the street below, then closes the shutters. T’onga hops up to sit on the counter, and Sang-ok leans against the fridge. The wolf sits at All-Kill’s feet as he addresses his lieutenants.
“I spoke with Dust.”
“Ok…? How’d it go?” Sang-ok asks.
“About as well as you might expect. His preparations are almost complete. Before long, the group that dispatched Phantasma will be dead… and we’ll be quick to follow them. He already suspects us of betraying him, and that’s enough for him to want us gone. He is afraid of us. Because of that, he’s never been more dangerous.”
Sang-ok glances at T’onga, who raises an eyebrow in response. “Boss, listen…” he says, “Can you please try not to look so happy when you say stuff like that? It’s really weird.”
All-Kill’s grin spreads half an inch, before he brings his face under control. “It is, huh? Says who?” he says, his mouth still upturned in a smirk. The wolf raises its ears, its tongue lolling out. “All our patience is about to pay off, people. All our hard work, all our frustration is about to come through for us. Dust can’t afford going against us until he deals with the crew that beat Phantasma, so the ideal time to strike is now. Within the coming week, we’ll be in charge of the entire West Coast underground. Not Dust, not the Congregation, but the Daesang!”
“Sounds great, boss…” T’onga speaks up at last, “But the preacher man’s not dead yet.”
“You’re absolutely right,” he replies, his smirk dropping, “This is the hardest part, coming up now. I need you to be at your best.”
“So you’re sure, then? You’re going to have Tong-tong do it all by herself?” Sang-ok asks, skeptically.
“Sounds like you’re doubting me, Gok,” T’onga retorts.
“Hey, what did I say about you using that pet name?!”
“Well, don’t use mine then!”
“Whatever…” Sang-ok brushes aside, slumping in his chair. “I’m just saying you might need back-up! You’ve never seen Dust-nim’s Stand, but I have!”
“Back-up? From you? No thanks.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“I mean you’d just get in my way.”
“People!” All-Kill, raising his voice an octave. They both fall silent. “You know I hate bickering. This is important. Sang-ok, I’m glad you’re showing concern, but I don’t think we need to worry about T’onga at all. She’s the perfect person for this job. I’ve known that, since the day I found you…” he says, turning his attention to her. He approaches, and she doesn’t shift from her position. “This is the most important thing I’ve asked of you yet. The biggest job you’ll ever do: dispatching the most dangerous man I know. I believe in you. But I need you to understand that if you fail, then it’s the end for us. You must not fail. Do you understand?”
T’onga holds herself steadfast, not letting any particular emotion come out from her. “I understand. I’ll do it. I’ll kill Dust for you.”
His smile returns, softer this time. “Good…” Abruptly he turns, facing the both of them again. “Well, now with the serious business out of the way. Gok, what were you telling me about that movie? Sorry, film.”
Sang-ok’s eyes light up. “Wha- you mean it? Oh ye- um, yes! You see, the whole idea is that the hero and villain are supposed to oppose each other, but also complement each other at the same time, so they're polar opposites but also twins, and the way they do that is…”
Sang-ok’s voice trails out as he leaves the room with All-Kill in tow, leaving T'onga alone in the kitchen. She jumps from the counter and opens the fridge. She pulls out a strawberry yogurt. She frowns at the lurid pink of the mixture.
She had tailed Phantasma all the way from East LA to LAX. She knew she would be coming for Moya, so before the masked woman had arrived, she peeled ahead and waited near the overpass. That was when she saw them. Moya and the girl with the bright dyed hair. She was too far to hear what they were talking about, but through her binoculars, she could read their lips.
Her lip-reading was rusty, so she could make out only two words, but the words rang in her skull like church bells after a flood.
T’onga.
Mother.
“There’s no way…” she mutters. The wolf pricks up its ears and looks back as it leaves the room, but she doesn’t say anything else. She kicks open the garbage can and tosses the yogurt in. The lid closes with a clang.
#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#achtung attitude#t'onga kim#all-kill#sang-ok park#yeon-in#ch33
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still into you | kth
genre: angst and fluff
rating: PG
pairing: Taehyung x reader
Theme: idol!au, ex-boyfriend!au, idol!reader , one-shot
word count: 2.0k
warnings: none
summary: Seeing your ex-boyfriend, Taehyung, in the crowd as you perform brings an onslaught of emotions.
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
Feeling the lights of Seoul Olympic Stadium shine onto you, you couldn’t help but feel that you’d finally accomplished your dreams.
Winning a daesang, performing at the MAMA’s, what more could a girl ask for? Anyone would be lucky to have a fraction of the success that you have had and you definitely felt grateful. However, you couldn’t shake the sense of longing as you looked out into the crowd. Especially as you saw his face.
Continuing to sing, you couldn’t help but reminiscence as you sang the lyrics you write about him.
I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you
You could still remember the way it felt to have his arms wrapped around you. The way he’d wake you up with forehead kisses and beg for you to stay in bed with him the whole day. The way he’d sing for you by the waterfront with the moon as the only witness to your love.
And even baby our worst nights, I'm into you
Then you remembered the fights. The way he’d storm out of your apartment at 2am going to god knows where. The way he’d leave you broken and alone, sobbing on your kitchen floor. The way he’d make you cry for days on end.
Let 'em wonder how we got this far, 'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all
The 3 years you spent with him seemed to pass by in an instant as you replay all your memories. The way you acted like a shy schoolgirl when you first met him. The way he used to surprise you with flowers and call you my “forever”. But then things changed. You don’t know how, or why. But the sweet texts started to dwindle, the arguments started to get bigger. Things got out of hand.
Yeah, after all this time I'm still into you
He was your first love. You don’t think you’ll ever forget him. You hope he’ll never forget you.
You only hoped that all those emotions came across as you locked eyes with him in the crowd. The whole performance seemed like a blur as the memories flooded through your system, you almost couldn’t believe that it had flown by so fast. The cathartic experience of being able to belt those lyrics out not only to the world, but to him, made it feel like a weight had been lifted off your chest.
The song soon came to an end and you could hear the roaring crowd giving you a standing ovation on all sides. There was only one person’s reaction that you truly cared about though.
Taehyung was right there at a table by the front of the stage, looking you in the eyes and clapping while a soft smile graced his face. You wondered if he was feeling all those memories that you felt too.
-♡-
As the hustle and bustle of the awards show died down, the adrenaline was still pumping through your veins as you were with your team preparing to go home. Whispering a quick message to your manager, you left to quickly run to the bathroom.
People usually fled from awards shows as fast as they could, so it was no surprise that the hallway was completely empty, the only sounds you could hear being the cheers of fans lingering outside the venue and some idols doing interviews.
Until you could also hear him. He came out of a room like a surprising gust of wind, blowing himself right into your path.
Coming face to face with him made your breath get caught in your chest.
“Y/N,” he spoke softly, as if he was afraid his words would shatter you.
“hi, taehyung”
You don’t know what you expected when you thought of meeting Taehyung here. You didn’t even know how he’d felt about you since you broke up. For all you know, he could hate you.
You and Taehyung made a point to only talk about pleasantries and regular things : the weather, JYP’s risque performance today (it made you both the tiniest bit uncomfortable), and the rest of the awards show. But soon, the small-take came to an end, and neither of you seemed willing to deal with the elephant in the room. Feeling the conversation come to a natural end, you didn’t know how or what to make of anything. Taking one last gaze at Taehyung, as if trying to keep a mental photo of him that you could treasure forever, you said what you thought would be your last words to him.
“Goodbye, Taehyung.”
It was stupid really. There was another awards show next week and you’re sure that even if you used every bone in your body to try and keep yourself away from him, fate would probably find a way to make you meet. But with the performance today, the look you shared, something felt final. Something felt like goodbye.
Turning around, you continued on your route back to your dressing room. Not hearing Taehyung’s footsteps moving the other way, you couldn’t stop yourself from taking yourself
What you didn’t know was that Taehyung’s internal monologue was begging him to say something to you. He had almost let you slip away without saying anything, but now that he had an opportunity since you had turned around again he couldn’t stop the words from pouring out of his mouth.
“I’m still into you,” he professed almost breathlessly, as if the confession took the wind out of him.
You froze in your place. There’s no way he said what he thought you did… right? You couldn’t stop your jaw from slightly dropping open.
“What did you just say?” you said, with an air of franticness but also hesitancy in your voice.
“I’m the one that the song “still into you” is about, right?”
Right. That definitely made much more sense than what you thought he said.
“Uh, yeah” you said as you cleared your throat - “so I guess I should say thank you for the Billboard #1 or something,” You tried to muster up a laugh to clear the awkwardness with the joke, but you don’t think it worked very well.
Taehyung looked at you sheepishly.
“I know how much of a dream that was for you, so I’m happy for you. You deserve it.” he professed, failing to hide his pride in your accomplishments.
It was good to know that he still remembered all those little moments you all shared together. It was funny, there was a time where you and Taehyung were lying in bed, talking about your dreams and he said that he would walk all the way from Seoul to Busan to get a Billboard #1 for you. I guess in a way, he did help get you that #1.
You felt a pang of longing as you looked at him across from you. Although you and Taehyung were physically the closest that you had been in months, you couldn’t help but feel farther than ever from him.
Your phone dinging brought you back to the fact that you should be with your manager giving interviews right now.
As you turned away from him, continuing back to your initial trek back to your dressing room, you heard him speak one more time.
“Are you- “
He took an audibly deep breath.
“Are you still into me, Y/N?”
It seemed like time stopped for the two of you. The sounds of the backstage had faded into nothingness and all you could hear was the sound of your pounding heart and Taehyung's laboured breaths. Taehyung truly was asking the million dollar question . You had imagined this scenario so many times, but you had not managed to prepare yourself for what this moment would feel like.
Turning around, you began to speak.
“Yknow Tae, I thought for the longest time that I was. It took me a really long time to think about this, to figure this all out. When we first broke up I didn’t even understand why it was happening. But now I see it all, I think.”
You paused to collect yourself and look him deep in his eyes.
“So no, Kim Taehyung, I’m not into you anymore. But thank you for everything you taught me, and I’ll cherish the memories we had together forever.”
Taehyung nodded in understanding. You could see the gears turning in his head and you don’t blame him - this whole interaction was a lot of process.
“I get it, I think. I don’t know what we both would be like if we were still together, but I’m so proud of the person that you’ve become and I’m really happy for both of us. I know things between us are different and will never be the same, but I’m always going to be your fan.”
You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. No matter what happened between you and Taehyung, his opinion still meant the world to you.
Grinning responsively, Taehyung continued.
“This doesn’t have to end here yknow, with whatever we are. I get that we’re not meant to be Y/N, but I’d like for us to be friends if that’s possible.” spoke Taehyung meekly, feeling shy at the admission of his request.
What Taehyung was asking for was a lot. Welcoming him back into your life seemed like a very scary situation. You didn’t know what to expect. The whole time Taehyung and you were dating, he felt like your best friend, but you’d never actually been just best friends with him. Was that even possible? Before making any choices, you left Taehyung carry on.
“Plus, the boys miss your tuna kimbap. I’ve tried copying your recipe but they yell at me for messing this up every time.”
You feigned a look of shock.
“I see your ulterior motives right now, Tae. This was all about kimbap?” you accused with a fake look of judgement.
For a second there you saw Taehyung’s face tighten up with shock and anxiety.
“No I-. Like-, Um, I just-”
“Tae, I’m joking with you. Chill out”
Taeyhung’s melodic laughter (which you desperately missed) rang through the hallway. It felt good for both of you to be joking around like this, and you almost swore the room got brighter as the tension between you two cleared.
Giving your manager a quick text to tell her you weren’t doing any more interviews tonight, you had snuck away in Taehyung’s car to drive the boys’ dorm, making a quick stop for groceries on the way.
The cheers that you heard as the boys saw you walk through that joy made your heart swell with joy. No matter what happened with you and Taehyung romantically, you knew that these seven boys were like a family to you. And families fight, families argue, and families disagree, but above all, families are always there for each other. And watching all the boys’ faces stuffed with your tuna kimbap, laughter and conversation freely flowing across the table, there was no place you’d rather be.
--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--
If you liked what you read, please interact/follow! Thank you for reading♡
- Emily
#bts fanfic#bts#bangtaninn#thebtswritersclub#taehyung fic#taehyung fanfic#bts fic#btsghostie#armywriterssupport#kwritersworldnet#bangtan sonyeondan#taehyung angst#taehyung fluff#idol bts x reader#bts x you#bts x reader#taehyung x you#taehyung x reader#bangtan boys#bts imagine#bts scenario#taehyung imagine#taehyung scenario#bts angst#bts fluff#eternally-writing
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Listen, I know some carats are really upset that Seventeen didn’t win the special stage at kcon.
This has always been an ongoing conflict with carats, our views and votes aren’t as high as they could be knowing Seventeen’s popularity and this vote being no different.
But I think we’re losing the point here.
Look I get it. I’m upset and worried about Seventeen too. It’s not like Pledis is the best production company out there in terms of marketing and management. I think the fact that Pledis didn’t tweet about voting for Seventeen’s special stage in kcon is just another indication of the possibility of Pledis not knowing exactly how to promote Seventeen’s activities outside of Japan (as well as a lack of english interviews such as with buzzfeed, etc. but that’s purely an assumption from me not facts).
The point is: stop getting angry at other carats.
Stop calling this fandom “lazy”. Stop thinking you’re the only one who cares and supports the boys and that other carats are just too lazy to vote or stream or whatever. Groups are not just defined by how many votes we get.
Yes. I want Seventeen to win a daesang too. And yes I am willing to reblog constant reminders to vote and try to reach as many people as possible when that time does come. I too want the best for Seventeen.
But this does not mean Seventeen will fail just because you believe the fandom is “lazy”.
Not everyone knows how to vote nor that there even was a vote, again pledis did not tweet about it. Not every carat follows every single thing Seventeen does. Carats can enjoy Seventeen’s music alone and that’s fine! Carats can vote and stream if they want, that’s fine! Carats don’t have to be up-to-date in every single thing Seventeen do and that’s fine!
As long as you love and support Seventeen that’s all you need to be a carat!
LOOK. I. WANT. SEVENTEEN. TO SUCCEED. AND. GET. ALL. THE. RECOGNITION. THEY. DESERVE. TOO.
But I think ! getting angry at carats for not voting and streaming ?!?? is ridiculous !?!?
Encourage people if you want sure ! but get angry at them ? all in the name of not letting Seventeen fall ? that’s ridiculous !
You getting angry at other people DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING
Don’t you think you’re wasting your time giving crap to everyone, saying they’re not real fans unless they vote? Do you think that makes you better ? It doesn’t help !
Let people support Seventeen how they want. Because if you do I promise they won’t fall. Focus your energy on spreading the info needed to encourage carats to vote and stream if they want. Because honestly I think that’s the hardest obstacle is getting the information around. Heck I bet people didn’t even know they could vote for Seventeen’s special stage at kcon.
Spread the information and focus your energy on supporting Seventeen how you want. DO NOT waste your energy getting angry at this fandom. In the end of the day we all want what’s best for Seventeen.
And I don’t think the boys would like what they saw of us right now if all we’re doing is getting angry and negative at each other.
#svt#seventeen#i’m exhausted#of this#i want seventeen to do well too#and i know it’s hard when it seems like people don’t do simple things that take like two seconds#but that doesn’t justify you calling anyone lazy#or making them feel bad about it#that’s awful behavior#i’m so tired#i have a headache
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MMA and MAMA 2019 Theory
welcome back loves to another theory with me!!! so it really has been a while since I have done any theory, mainly because homegirl is stuck in uni and is dying in it with useless group mates but anyway, i finally got back to doing another ever since I watched the MMA and MAMA 2019 ones and wow, there is so much to unpack.
also, a huge congratulations to our 4-Daesang winners aka BTS who not only swept all of the Daesangs in MAMA but MMA in 2019. honestly, still shocking considering how we all know how the industry is like lmao. but anyway, let’s begin.
if you want to support my ko-fi, feel free to do so
⇝ theory masterlist
theory: if I were to compare their MMA and MAMA VCRs, I believe there’s more to analyse for the MAMA ones because of the length and also because MMA’s one, I believe the hints are more centred around the individual performances and set ups.
So starting off with MMA, looking at the VCR. I am putting it out there is literally I Need U all over again. The camera pans out to Namjoon, Seokjin, Jimin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung and lastly Jungkook. For some reason, this has me thinking of the HYYH the Notes pairings that I keep mentioning throughout the theories about them. (read here) These were similar to that of Wings, but I guess Namjoon and Seokjin’s pairing was the one of the BST JP and instead of Taehyung being that Omelas boy, though some may say it’s Jungkook (because of how he is the youngest and he is affected by all and in this theory, Taehyung is the trigger), maybe could explain why the camera pans out to Jungkook last.
do you not think that the setting reminds me of of HYYH? the whole light, couches thing etc
But moving on, if you see at 0:49, you see the shadows of the boys walking behind them at the back but somehow settling behind each respective member which I find extremely creepy and somehow reinforces that the next instalment is Shadow but at 1:05 it shows the lighter.
One could recall it being one of Yoongi’s key charcateristics as he smokes and across the HYYH the Reel, or in the I Need U MV, but at the same time, common with Jungkook’s Little Matchstick Girl story and of course not to forget, just like here In the VCR, how Namjoon worked at the gas station and somehow dropped the lollipop on a cash but it caught fire etc which somehow related to his death in one of the theories.
We had Namjoon’s strong Persona intro and you could see at the back, the words ‘shadow’, ‘ego’, ‘what am I to you’ etc, scribbled behind though repeatedly. The words ‘shadow’ and ‘ego’ should be signifying the next two releases for bangtan’s map of the soul trilogy series based on jung’s map of the soul book which focused heavily on persona, shadow and ego along with many other theorists who believed that the other two instalments of the series to be called ‘shadow’ and ‘ego’. Other identified scribbles include ‘Im Not What’ ‘Happen to Me’, ‘No More Dream’, ‘Who are you, Who Am I’, ‘Dream, Love, Happiness’ etc. But anyway, after the Persona stage, the intro of ‘What am I to you’ is played and I swear it was Dark and Wild all over again before it went on to ‘Boy in Luv’ and parallelly, they moved on to ‘Boy With Luv’ such a stark contrast but shows their diversity. Afterwards, a short VCR with the truth untold instrumentals playing in the background before somehow they decided to crush my heart and played mikrokosmos and hearing Namjoon’s words is making me feel things.
Anyway, moving on, after that stage ended, the VCR played again with how Jungkook woke up and this idea of trying to figure out who he is, as he watches various screens of himself across the years with eg Save Me, No More Dream , fake love playing, danger, the lines ‘I’m still looking for who I used to be, who I am now., before Namjoon hugs him (note the Wings pairing) before the rest comes together in this formation. Yoongi, Jimin, Namjoon, Jungkook, Jin, Hoseok and Taehyung; Taehyung was the last one.
similar to this
this reminds me of this open room in fake love as well for Seokjin.
Then somehow in the midst of this, they show how the boys ‘appearing’, Jungkook forming from the clouds, Namjoon from the leaves, Jimin from smoke, Hoseok from the ‘fake love coloured setup’, Taehyung from ‘the spray can’ (he even had the sound effect of the spray can, Yoongi from fire and Jin from what seems to be in a room full of mirrors..? it seems oddly familiar but I can’t pinpoint as to where this is from. And yet after all this, as they all gaze into the screens, somehow only Taehyung is the one looking unsettled, at most a really really small smile, not sure if it was on purpose or just coincidental,
Jungkook’s ment cntinues ‘who I will be in the future’. At 18L47, it focused on Jungkok’s eyes to expand and show the milky way galaxy. Then it moved on to the start of the Dionysus stage but somehow we are surprised to find 7 individual stages.
But moving on, apart form bangtan’s group stages, there is a need to pay close attention to the individual stages of each member. i bet bangtan’s main goal for these year end shows is to somehow showcase their humble beginnings with their underrated songs hence why they performed n.o., we are bulletproof pt.2 and boy in luv at both year end shows across, asides from promoting their later songs such as mikrokosmos, or boy with luv.
Notice the transitions among each individual stages. It’s literally their whole discography, more focus was on here rather than showing a vcr ,though the vcr they played was of the I need u feels and you cannot tell me otherwise once I placed the references here. One for their similar outfits and the I need u sofa cut scene in the MV with this MMA VCR. Not to mention it kind of reminds me of the HYH Epilogue VCR when they were taking a family portrait.
Anyway, the individual stages started off with Taehyung, with no more dream but the level of sophistication and performance was amazing but also quite heavy considering the no. of back dancers yet somehow they’re in this gladiator outfit/warrior outfits with the skirts. Also, the 4 people hanging from the hoops at the top, it casually reminded of te Olympics but that’s just my opinion and in no relation to this. Do take note of how altered the sound is to sound more like it’s fit for a battle scene, those loud hits of the drums etc and the resounding ‘la la la’ a sa battle cry or possibly an anthem. Note the scenes at the back to be mostly of the Greek/Roman kind of architecture.
Next, it transitioned to Seokjin whose song was Danger and interestingly, this kind of Greek/Roman concept continued on, as now they leveraged more on Seokjin’s looks for this stage with lesser dancing in comparison and made him stand on top of this makeshift Trojan horse. Take note of how the music for Danger instead of the hard hitting kind of song, it becomes a little bit more majestic, royal even but with power. Though Seokjin relatively dances way lesser, his stage presence and looks was enough to dominate the stage, like my god, just look at him??? Also, the back up dancers outfits seem to continue on with this. And when he really took the reins and let it whip to have this yellow horse run as though he whipped it, it ran across the screens (satisfying really), it changed to something more melodic.
Here, you hear the acoustic version of I Need U which was actually played before unlike the other 2 versions of the songs (and actually the rest of the members’ as well), it was played at one of the year end show sin 2015 in which Yoongi actually played the piano and Jungkook was dancing, they were promoting Run at that time. But oh how this is so befitting for Jimin and his contemporary movies, it’s really so graceful, ethereal and wow. But they made this I Need U version more melodramatic with the use of strings such as violins and cello, listen to that rendition and melodies as well as the triangle I think (I literally forgot the name of that instrument) but then it moved on to Fire with Yoongi.
Honestly, I don’t think anyone knew it was Fire until it started because of the really really hard hitting bass that really became outright rock and loud cries of ‘La, La, La’ and what sounded like ‘Jin’ although I am pretty sure it’s not but you get my point here. Honestly, thought the fire in the screens looked like a dead giveaway but with how hard the beat is hitting that became rock, it almost sounded like a mantra not to mention how loud and how great the drums sound here. Also note how Yoongi isn’t doing much, just minimal dance moves like a body roll.
I must say the transition from Yoongi to Jungkook is quite abrupt because of the sharp contrast in the transition between their stages; from rock to something more pop? It’s a bit hard to adjust to, also the version for Save Me is so so different but yet so nice, it’s much more synthesized here and the choreography is centred to how the beats are in the music. To think this was done by Jungkook as well.
At 25:54, we are seeing 7 lights to represent 7 stars, which apparently, this constellation represents Corona Borealis. It represents the crown the Princess wore on her wedding day when she married Dionysus. (see where we are going with this). You could see that throughout all of the stages, an additional light to represent a star was added after each performance and at the end with Namjoon, the Corona Borealis was completed.
Now, going back to Hoseok’s part with Fake Love but a much more EDM version to showcase his popping and then finally, we have this version of Dionysus, but look at that intro with the chorus singing and it showcases Namjoon. Although he is walking, it reminds me when he changed his jacket in 2017 for another year-end performance as he walked across the stage but now it’s for the staff. Literally, Namjoon is not doing anything but walking, but look at his stage presence?????
And this was how Dionysus began but again with the 7 constellations, they really brought the 2 tiger balloons that they used at the concerts with them here at the MMA, with the foreign women throwing flowers which coincidentally was a Greek tradition.
Yet again, before they start their performance, we have the same guy sounding the horn. But now we have guys in fedora hats which I am still confused as to why they are there. Well I did some research and turns out the use of fedora hats originated from a popular Russian play but the word originated from the Greeks themselves.
The name Fedora is derived from the Greek word theodoros, which literally means "gift of God." -History of Fedora
I will like to sidetrack now to talk about the guy in the veil. so someone speculated on Twitter about the use of the veil in Greek culture and so this is how i went down to do my research etc and reading a paper on it. I have highlighted the necessary parts.
after reading this, one could say that the veil is a form of expression for anger. but mainly anger, then emotional pain and lastly grief. it can also be seen as ‘a form of retaliation, the victim’s way of punishing the offender’s breach of the rules of interaction’. you may consider seeing it as being petty, in a way of giving the silent treatment or just not giving one’s full attention but again, this goes deeper than on surface value. kinda interested to see how this would pan out in the future.
However, enough of the hat and veil talk and its history, now going back to the performance. They even brought out the horses so honestly tell me what is going on. So doing more research, I dug out some. The reason why I am focused on the symbolism of these things inn Greece is due to the consistent Greek culture that is being cultivated, perhaps prior to the Dionysus one but it seems to be well incorporated in the various stages as well such as the Trojan horse in Jin’s stage which was used to invade and win the war in Troy. But going back to the history of the horses, they symbolize wealth and status. The horse was often affiliated with heroes and Gods hence seeming to be far ‘important’ to the native Greeks. Not to mention the gladiators as well. Though gladiators were common with the Romans, the Greeks had them too but not as prevalent as the Romans. Interestingly, the Greeks refer them as ‘barbarians’.
For the Greeks, the gladiators were more of sacrifices to the Gods and those who emerged victorious during the Olympic games were blessed by Zeus and offered Zeus praise. In a way, if I were to put it in a different context, Zeus could be seen as a power play figure in terms of Big Brother (read 1984 theory here). Not entirely the same, but similarities are present.
What is the link of Dionysus in all of this? Well apart from the song of Dionysus by the boys, as well as inclusion of the iconic grapes for wine-making and thyrsus, I found something interesting that could explain the use of Dionysus in all of this.
As we all know, Dionysus was the god of wine, grape harvest and in some others fertility as well. He was known later on to be ‘androgynous youth’; not exactly a man but a ‘man-womanish’. With his long history, ‘Dionysus had crossed boundary between life and death, and he was often portrayed as the god who crossed the boundary between the civilized and uncivilized and the known and the unknown.’. Somehow this makes me think that perhaps Seokjin is Dionysus, the idea that he is the one conscious enough throughout the HYYH universe that time is rewinding itself back to the fateful day where one by one, the boys kill themselves and he is the one trying to save them all. Not to mention, I still think the theory still holds that somehow Seokjin could also be seen in purgatory where he tries to give them back their innocence through using the lilies (read I Need U JP theory here).
Interesting fact was that Dionysus was ‘born of fire and nursed by rain’. Opposites that link Yoongi and Jimin as well.
Based on here, apart from the fact that Dionysus was actually half mortal, he had the power to raise people from the dead, which was how he raised his mortal mother, Semele, from the dead.
Some others speculated about the whole Gods concept in which they claim BTS to represent of the 12 and basing it on their performance. This is what they came up with.
RM – Dionysus Jin – Athena Yoongi – Hephaestus Jimin – Artemis Taehyung – Apollo Hoseok – Zeus Jungkook – Poisedon
If we based it on this now, this could explain the certain dance breaks together here. Hoseok and Jungkook, Namjoon and Jin, Jimin and Taehyung then lastly Yoongi by himself. Yoongi is the only one being independent in a way. I guess also why they did the N.O. break was because they did not perform anything from that era (that + YNWA, BST, DNA and Answer) but then again, we are blessed by their whole discography.
so first of all, their VCR especially for MAMA was heavily reliant on time periods.
Basically, what was relayed in the video is as such. The calling; future.
It started with the damn hourglass again, when will it stop??
They showed in the VCR these 7 white-veiled guys who I assumed would be them and is them but is also a carry over from the MMA scene in which during Tae’s stage and before Jin’s one, you see the white veiled guy next to the horses.
The VCR had very interesting transitions which reminded me of the Wings short stories with the various symbols, not to mention the fact it was heavily focused on Hoseok’s eyes which was similar to his short film of MAMA. The transition in and out of it. Past meets future. I will bet that this was Hoseok’s eye just by seeing the shape and also here’s a reference from MAMA.
The VCR had very interesting transitions and glitches, literally throwback to the 2017 MAMA VCR. That barren one person scene reminded me of DNA.
DNA
MAMA VCR Screenshots
The last picture reminds me a bit of BST, like the part where Yoongi plays the organ. Here’s a reference photo.
More VCR screenshots just giving me the vibes of BST.
MAMA VCR Screenshots
BST MV screenshots
Then the VCR stopped and BTS performed N.O. a really throwback song followed by We are Bulletproof Pt. 2. Notice how the VCR changed to intro them performing N.O. the whole scratches reminds me of MAMA for some reason, MAMA being Hoseok’s short film. Honestly, I thought it was great because they showed everyone that this was their origins to their success and they never forgot about it despite being how big they are and how they got their popularity through other genres and not the original Hip-Hop kind that they were promoting back then. They had the iconic hands again.
After this, VCR continued to show the past meets the present. They showed the boys during backstage of the concert, during it and think about it as the way it was edited to be like Burn the Stage and Bring the Soul movies. Those kinds. They showed the Mnet debut showcase. ‘We doubted ourselves all the time, we tried to overcome the fear we encountered. They showed their first win on the music show with ‘I Need U’. ‘Dreams are our realities from now on.’ This was said by Namjoon. Now showing all of the Daesangs that they achieved throughout the years starting with 2016 and how Yoongi cried. ‘We are no longer sad or pain’.
Past meets present: World.
The Vcr showed the 7-veiled guys and this was their arrangement, Tae, Suga, Jin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok.
Do you not think this positioning of the veiled guys remind you of the fake love cloak stands. So from a clothes stand to a veiled person.
They then performed Boy with Luv and Mikrokosmos. During Mikrokosmos, they had stairs shown behind them before they pan out to the VCR again that started off with an hourglass. For some reason those veiled guys appear again and to be exact there are 7 of them. Not to mention the hourglass glitching giving me the BST JP. Vibes. When the phrase ‘all our time’ came out, they really had some collisions much like DNA.
cue the fake love MV with the smeraldo flower.
Look at the stairs behind them. I went to check and do some research etc. Based on this, the ladder is most commonly known to be the connection between heaven and earth. Notice how it’s heaven and not hell. There is no mention of the underworld or hell. But if we were to look at this, I did some more research about the symbolism of stairs in Greek mythology.
A lot of the references is that the ladders/stairs are to be the connector between heaven and earth; there was no mention again of the underworld. But another closer research showed this.
In the temples that have them, it seems likely that one stair was intended for ascending, the other for descending.
Here it talks about well, it’s a one-way kind of stairs, it’s not one where you can use the stairs for both up and down but rather a separate one. Also, these stairs were commonly found in temples of Zeus, Apollo, Aphrodite, Athena, Hera etc which if referred on top, are some of the Gods that the boys were speculating to be.
Yet, looking inside the article, they talked about ‘epiphany windows’ and my brain suddenly malfunctioned because epiphany windows????? E P I P H A N Y???
Epiphany provided an inherent sacredness and enhanced the-role of the temple in expressing sanctity.36 Even without actual "windows" forrestaging or framing events, epiphanies could be expected in and around temples.
An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphanea, "manifestation, striking appearance") is an experience of a sudden and striking realization.
Reference
so again i did more research, epiphany in Greece is like the ‘festival of light’.
On Epiphany, the Greek Orthodox Church performs
the ‘Great Blessing of the Waters’.
This ceremony is usually performed twice, once on the eve of Epiphany which is performed in the church, and then again on the actual day outdoors with priests blessing large bodies of water, sea, rivers, lakes etc.
This reminded me of Jungkook with his performance with the water. But anywa, about epiphanies, I might just do another theory for that sometime later.
Now moving on,
Future meets present: Calling
Past meets present: World
They reiterated these two concepts back again at the end of the VCR.
Present meets future: Eternal Journey
Eventually they were all of the veiled guys but particularly Jimin was the first one.
All our time.
The VCR then showed the boys with props/items.
Hoseok -> Frame Yoongi -> Hourglass Jimin -> Polaroid Camera (Retro) Namjoon -> Mic Jungkook -> Recording Camera (Retro) Taehyung -> Violin Jin -> Opera spectacles
Interestingly, these items as seen from this Twitter are considered to be retro, they still remain relevant despite them looking old. However, if you were to think of it in relation to the HYYH universe, Hoseok’s frame that he held reminds me of the MAMA portrait that was shown in the short film of his called MAMA but at the same time it reminds me the link between Hoseok and Jimin as they both stare at the same picture
Yoongi’s hourglass does not hit much of resemblance upfront but if you were to consider the meaning of the hourglass which is to tell time, specifically how much time left. You would think of the pairing between Yoongi and Jungkook; in a way Jungkook was running out of time to save Yoongi. In some alternate universe, Jungkook failed to save Yoongi hence the I Need MV, and if you read based on the notes, the incidents between Yoongi and Jungkook do not happen all on the same day, but relatively near to each other. However in the Euphoria MV, it could be seen that Jungkook managed to save Yoongi, even in the webtoon series, Jin managed to save Yoongi as he found out what time was he going to die and which motel, but though Yoongi did not want to be alive.
Jimin’s retro polaroid camera, similar to Jungkook’s retro recording camera, they do not have much resemblance to the HYYH universe but rather their true personalities in which both Jimin and Jungkook engage in these kind of hobbies. Rather these things, coincidentally are more prominently found with Jin throughout the HYYH universe. In the HYYH Prologue and later on, Jin was the one known to have both a polaroid camera and a recording camera that he uses to capture the moments with the boys hence the idea of whether or not Seokjin was reliving the moments or not. (read Prologue theory here).
Before their last stage of Dionysus, the camera panned out and you see various animals as constellations eg goat, dolphin, lion, cheetah, goblet etc. Interestingly, if you look at here and here, it seemed as though Dionysus had the power to also transform into a lion or a bull and the latter shows that his symbols were leopard skin, panther and cheetah.
But the main one was the snake eg anaconda but the backup dancers were the ones in fedoras just like in MMA. thought that was an interesting edition.
anyway, throughout these 2 award shows, one could say they are riding on the whole Greek theology and concepts without ever culture appropriating it. i am sure they have been doing their own research and I can’t wait to see what else is in store for them.
References
JOURNAL ARTICLEINTERIOR STAIRCASES IN WESTERN GREEK TEMPLESMargaret M. MilesMemoirs of the American Academy in RomeVol. 43/44 (1998/1999), pp. 1-26Published by: University of Michigan Press for the American Academy in RomeDOI: 10.2307/4238755https://www.jstor.org/stable/4238755Page Count: 26 JOURNAL ARTICLEAnger and the Veil in Ancient Greek CultureD. L. CairnsGreece & RomeVol. 48, No. 1 (Apr., 2001), pp. 18-32Published by: Cambridge University Press on behalf of The Classical Associationhttps://www.jstor.org/stable/826867Page Count: 15
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