#and being a med-nin

[itischeese]

anyways i fully believe that canonically madara and/or zetsu made her do it with a slave seal because the alternative leaves me too salty to mention.

YESSSSS. I'm of the opinion that while the seal didn't fully control her, it wrecked her ability to think rationally and also probably made her mind fixate on the idea that she had to die or everyone else would.

Either way, the seal having an Effect on her that pushed her to do it makes so much more sense than her (canonically incredibly intelligent and compassionate) not considering the danger she would leave Kakashi in, or the fact that their teacher is a teleporting seal master...

[oh-no-its-bird]

You are making me EMOTIONAL thinking about baby kakashi losing his teeth and not having his dad around to ask about things now, not even specifically for fang reasons either 😭😭

I think I was late and lost my first took when I was almost seven and idk exactly when Sakumo died officially but. Idk. Something something the tragedy of potentially not even having a parent around to explain what is going on when you lose a tooth for the first time

I'm so glad u sent this actually bc I was thinking ab wanting to write a post ab this premise but wasn't sure how to phrase or start it

Kid Kakashi struggling through starting to lose his baby teeth after his father dies <33

Google tells me that children start losing their baby teeth around 6, and the general age I've seen for Kakashi when Sakumo kills himself is usually around that same number, so, it works out!!

You bring up such a good and fun point actually in just. Does Kakashi know what's happening to him? Has anyone explained to him that your teeth just naturally fall out when you're little?

One day, Kakashi goes to class and sees Obito, who's a few years older than him, bragging about how he "just lost my tooth the other day"

And Kakashi quietly goes to himself, "wow this guy is so bad at fighting, he got his tooth knocked out and he's happy about it. What a weirdo."

Obito is IGNORING the judgmental stares coming from Kakashi's direction, assuming Kakashi is just jealous of his super cool milestone of growing up

Thinking maybe Obito even comes over to try to brag about it, but Kakashi just goes "??? Why are you bragging about losing your teeth ??? God, you're such a freak"

And Obito is like, "I know ur just jealous BAKASHI. Because you are still a BABY while I am on my way to being a MAN"

And inside Kakashi, still deeply confused and weirded out, is like, 'why the fuck would I be jealous' but outloud he just glares and goes, "I've never lost any of my teeth because I never lose."

To which Obito loses his mind because he's like 9 and to a 9 year old that sounded kind of sick and how DARE Kakashi try and be cool about this

(In the background, Minato is well on his way to losing his mind trying not to laugh. Rin meanwhile is squinting and doing mental math as she tries to tell if Kakashi is joking or not)

But anyways like. Kakashi later losing his own teeth and freaking the fuck out about it. Is he sick? Is he dying? Should he go to the doctor?

Oh my god wait ok but Kakashi cornering Rin after a training session and demands she help diagnose him bc he doesn't want to go to the actual doctor or ask Sensei for help. And Kakashi admitting she's a "good med nin" and Rin is kinda going omg Kakashi conpliment,,,, life goals,,

But also like Kakashi thinks he's dying and she's SUPER flattered he thinks she can help but she's like. 10. And a med nin in training.

So she's kind of sweating like "omg what are ur symptoms, why do u think ur dying?"

And Kakashi is like my "fucking teeth are falling out !!!!!!"

And Rin is like "woah that sounds super scary and seriou— Hold on a second."

Kakashi goes as far as to take off his mask to show her, which goes to show how desperate he is rn because he'd usually never do that.

And Rin is torn between being tempted to pinch his cheek and pull at it like it's Mochi and also like. She's struggling SO hard not to laugh at this point because she knows if she does Kakashi will literally never forgive her

So Rin has to break it to Kakashi as gently as she can (and without laughing or cooing at his cute kid naivety) that don't worry, you aren't dying, this is normal

Kakashi doesn't believe her at first. But when he does he's suddenly overwhelmed by embarrassment. He will never recover. Hes so fucking glad he didn't actually go to the doctor or to sensei because at least Rin he can swear to secrecy FOREVER

Kakashi has to deal with his suddenly too big for his mouth adult fangs and keeps going to Rin to help heal the cuts they keep leaving on his lips ,,,,

Somehow Obito catches wind of this, and hears "Rin + helping with Kakashi's lips (???)" And thinks they're kissing and loses his goddamn mind in spectacular fashion.

Toddler drama....

Idk where Im really going with this, it ended up taking a life of its own

Uhhh anyways. Moving this conversation entirely:

You can copy pasted this exact concept onto Naruto for a really funny (and kind of awful) au where Naruto loses his first tooth and becomes convinced he's dying

He does actually try to go to the hospital but they try to turn him away, but when he blurts out that he's scared he's dying a particularly mean spirited doctor pretends to examine him then goes "oh no. You really are dying and have a week to live. Boohoo."

Naruto loses his fucking mind and makes a "things I want to do before I die" bucket list and then spends the next week desperatley trying to complete it bc hes convinced he's gonna die on the final day

This list includes but is not limited to:

- become Hokage

- start a family

- eat every single different kind of ramen on Ichiraku's menu

Idk how to make the first and third especially funny but like.

"Starting a family" ending up somehow leading to Naruto very aggressively trying to get literally anyone to hold his hand in a similar fashion to "Uchiha Sasuke's 10 step plan to get revenge" where Sasuke tries to get Shikamaru to marry him in his quest to "live a good life" to get revenge on Itachi, while Naruto hears Sasuke is looking for a husband and very loudly tries to get him to pick him instead

Which is actually a really fucking funny one on its own and now I'm just thinking about that instead, so I'll leave this post here

I got a little distracted, but. Thank you for ur ask !!!

[georgialawman]

I think I’ve rin sensei’d too close to the sun.

despite coming off as a much more “normal” and kind person than kakashi in canon, sensei rin is about the same really. on the outside/with her initial introduction she’s kinder certainly but she’s just as brutal with her testing and expectations. rin hasn’t dealt with kids ever in her life unless ur counting when she was a kid dealing with other kids. she’s been anbu since she was fourteen, and she’s only off the anbu hook now so she can deal with teach the village’s junior jinchuriki and the genin team he’s on (for convenience.) she’s had no time to chill out or anything. She’s brutual genjutsu’ing sakura like kakashi in canon. if she’s not actually doing worse. Naruto swinging his arms around like crazy: “this is a good way to break ur arm ^_^ do u wanna break ur arm?” and like. She’s like the only jounin sensei with any kind of med nin knowledge Which she’s upfront about but instead of using it to be like “dw I can heal u any time whenever ^_^” with little scratches like a stereotype she’s back to the “break your arm” thing. she doesn’t even have to take you to the hospital! she can fix the arm she just broke! convenient huh?

she’s a nightmare.

shes even more ominous than kakashi in canon. kk in canon is “I’m not telling you about me” at the start, he’s always been Like That— but rin goes “oh I like reading, and I like the seeea, I also enjoy going out for nice dinner.” pretending like she’s a normal person and so it’s more jarring when she starts tweaking a little. she also talks to trees? very odd. Wonder why she does that. she also knows the anbu. she calls one of them “kitty.” the kids don’t get her at all.

Land of waves and zabuza is fun. she’s not known like kk in canon, as a jinchuriki she’s very Under Wraps (and I also like. Abiding. By what the freaking anbu shouldve been.) right out the gate in canon land of waves, zabuza is like ouhhh it’s the copy nin our battle shall be legendary! but rin it’s like okay. some girl. Yeah let’s fight or whatever. and eventually she gets her recognition by being sanbi jinchuriki. yknow. the sanbi that’s a turtle that she got from the mist while she’s fighting a rouge mist nin. zabuza is like omg… the lost jinchuriki…. Rin can’t copy paste mind game zabuza like kk in canon, but yknow. She’s jinchuriki of The Turtle so she’s got suiton to rival zabuza’s and it goes about the way in canon where she beats him to where haku has to step in.

She similarly crashes out like kakashi due to having a.. not great seal. Like Naruto’s seal in canon is balanced in. Whatever way that I don’t currently remember— but rin’s is not. her seal was made to be a bomb, while minato and kushina modified it so she could have some control it’s not great. so certain ways she uses the sanbi chakra can really fuck her over, and the way she used it to get a leg up over zabuza was one of those fucky ways.

rin doesn’t need a recovery period like kakashi. (she heals fast. Cool! Naruto does that too! Why is that? uhh idk about u Naruto but mine is because. Of an advanced med nin technique. Yeah.) but they still stick around bc rin knows zabuzas not really dead, and him knowing of her jinchuriki status is Bad so she’s gotta stay around until he comes back. which he hopefully does…. Blah blah blah land of waves my beloved…

Rin being pulled out of anbu to “teach” Naruto is so funny btw cuz like. She’s not really even doing any kind of jinchuriki training, she’s been told to “teach the team” while keeping an eye on naruto and being instructed to do the same kind of restraining techniques as kakashi in canon— “she has good odds against the Kyuubi because she’s Also a jinchuriki” (which is so funny. yeah yeah the unbalanced sealed sanbi has a chance against the fucking Kyuubi.) when she asks if she’ll do the thing she was told she’d be doing, any kind of actual “jinchuriki training” is pushed off for “when he’s actually ready.” (Like that’ll ever happen. Like it matters if he’s ready or not. Rin wasn’t ready when she got stuck to the sanbi.)

At this point I don’t really remember what the anbu like. mystery status? Whatever?? was in og natuto. so like. The kids being like ???!?!?! that rin “knows” some anbu thing is up in the air. on one hand like. In shippuden anbu are much more everywhere but in the original i think it was different… aughh. My idea is that rin knowing some anbu is something that makes her more unsettling, especially because she seems awfully chummy. like there’s literally an anbu agent she calls kitty. KITTY.

On the second hand— do the kids even know/are they supposed to know about the anbu?? I don’t remember!!!

whatever!!!! In my head while the kids might be the lowest rank of ninja, they are still ninja so surely they’d know about the anbu. they’d have to as part of the rank. if we’re doing even more of an “in my head” thing. pre graduation the anbu are just a rumor, and if you graduate and get to be a ninja then well yeah u get to know about the ninja ranks. The anbu being a scary rumor keeps it’s tone though even after confirmation, so Rin knowing anbu is scary. (I think being anbu is something you’re Not supposed to talk about ? (For all that actually keeps true in canon…) so it’s not like she can be like “I was anbu until around last week lol” and scare the kids further. but it Would be funny.)

Rin reads porn like kakashi does, she just hides it under the cover of like a cheesy romance novel to not draw attention. she drinks, she smokes. she’s got vices, that girl.

There’s a joke where she tells off asuma for smoking in front of the kids, (rin is a med nin! smoking is bad, she should be a good example since she has to take care of kids now!) and asuma fucking 🤨’s her because they were chainsmoking last week but overall says nothing. Keep your “good” image rin. Whatever.

Now if we want to get into the team minato of it all—— I’ll start with saying rin has kakashis summoning scroll. when kakashi dies instead of rin, there’s no family to take it so rin does. with that she’s kinda got like the key to the hatake compound, as small as it is. for a while she doesn’t do anything with it because what the heck is she gonna do? but eventually (probably under threat of its demolishment because it wasn’t being used) she decided to make a project out of cleaning it up and keeping it nice. that’s her one Good outlet. Tenzo helps. It’s their thing. she shows the kids at some point along in the timeline and the kids praise her gardening skills that totally wasn’t tenzo.

she can’t tell them who tenzo is— not for obvious “anbu reasons” but she can’t because she’s been caught talking to trees that she calls tenzo. it would make her look crazier.

Anyway this is mostly. Misc? Stuff? if I want to ramble more like “rin lore” or real team minato talkies those would do better by themselves probably. Whatever I stop yapping now.

[ninyard]

Nin, light of my life. I wanna know how you hc Andrew and Aaron's relationship after college. I love doomed by the narrative sibling relationships but I honestly can't see either of them losing contact with one another considering how much they fought to stay in orbit.

I’ve very briefly talked about Aaron/Andrews relationship post TKM but honestly okay this is just one of many opinions on everything but I don’t really think they keep in contact THAT much until there’s a reason to but hear me out

I think maybe two years post TKM, in a session with Betsy, Aaron says something about Drake/Andrew and it’s as if there’s a switch that has been flicked on their relationship. They don’t really talk that much, still, but they have a really fucking raw and honest conversation that day. Andrew is receptive, and they’re talking, and it’s just so deep and intimate it’s not like any conversation they’ve had before.

There’s a lot of things tarnished but changed in their relationship by both the death of Tilda and the death of Drake. Aaron can’t help but see Andrew differently once he finds out about Drake, and maybe that’s something they talk about more, because it really humanises Andrew for him. Like a LOT. It’s like, “Okay, now there’s a reason why he is the way that he is. He’s not just an asshole for fun.” Andrew can’t help but see Aaron differently when maybe at some point he compares Tilda to Cass, putting up with abuse (by Drake/by Tilda) just to feel loved, to feel like you have a place. I don’t know. A lot of things change about how they see each other, but they still don’t feel like they could be…friends? Theyll be able to have a joke once in a blue moon, or they’ll talk to each other if there’s nobody else to talk to, but they’re not exactly texting each other for advice. Aaron still doesn’t trust him around Katelyn, and Andrew is fine with that.

They take pictures with each other at their graduations, though, and Andrew goes to his med school graduation and has drinks with him the day he becomes Dr Aaron Minyard, and every now and again they’ll text each other something that reminds them of each other. Like Andrew will text Aaron: “You” And it’s just like a meme about being a doctor or something

etc etc etc

but I believe this if Katelyn were to get pregnant, or they were getting married, or either of them finally had to chance to be a real loving caring family, they’d come together and be in much better contact with each other. Like their texts would look like this but it’s SOMETHING you know??? It’s a relationship they never had before?? Idk

I think in their real adult lives, with families and careers and people to look after that isn’t themselves, it’d bring them together a whole lot more than anything else. They both realise this is an opportunity to be different than their families, to raise their lineage in a more loving environment than what they grew up in, you know? Andrew sees an opportunity to break the cycle, and maybe he mentions this to Bee or Neil and they’re like yeah you’re right. You’re an Uncle now. You’re a brother-in-law.

I think at the end of it all, continuing on their families becomes the thing to bring them the closest together. I think then, maybe they’ll have a drink and laugh and sing together at some Christmas holiday sometime in the way way way distant future. Maybe they’ll go fishing together while Katelyn is minding the baby. I can see them being brothers then.

[audaciousanonj]

Kakashi VS Cooties: part one

"Rin, I've figured out what's wrong with Obito." Kakashi said, solemn. "He's clumsy, overly emotional about strange things, he wants people's attention, and he makes kissy faces."

Rin raised an eyebrow at that last one. "That's… an interesting list." she said, "What did you conclude?"

"Obito," Kakashi said, making a serious face that looked adorable on a nine year old, "has cooties."

Rin used all her training as a med-nin to hide a smirk. "I suppose those are some of the signs of what people call 'cooties'," she said, "but you're forgetting the most important trait"

"What?" Kakashi said, frowning adorably.

"Cooties, no matter the strain," Rin said, voice deceptively serious, "are known above all else for being highly contagious."

Kakashi stared blankly at her, before his face fell in slowly dawning horror.

Rin knew she shouldn't, but honestly this was hilarious and Kakashi needed to be wrong every once in a while about nonharmful things. This would, as Sensei would say, build character. "Yes, even just a touch from someone infected can infect you as well... say, didn't you and Obito make the seal of reconciliation after sparring earlier today?"

"OBITO GAVE ME COOTIES?!?" Kakashi yelped. Behind him, Sensei made a choked-off noise.

"If you're right and Obito has cooties, it is indeed too late for you." Rin said, carefully not confirming anything. She could mislead all she liked, but she drew the line at misdiagnosing.

[part two]

[ircn-mvn]

Alpha/Alpha 3

Note: I'm back! Also I'm not sure where I'm going with this tbh...

TW: Omegaverse, obvi. Questioning (Secondary Gender)? Potential Dysphoria?

The whine did escape him in the end. Kakashi felt mortified for all but two seconds before he felt Iruka’s body against his. Strong arms brought him toward a firm chest and it was the best feeling in the entire world. He couldn’t remember the last time he had experienced this level of safety. Was it before his father’s death or while on Minato-Sensei’s team? 

It sure hadn’t been the case since he had become the one in charge. 

Kakashi had never dreamed of becoming a Captain or Jonin-Sensei. He wanted to be good. To be better than his father, and that was all. Being responsible for his own life was more than enough pressure.

Being an alpha had been convenient — expected of him on some level — but if acting as an omega brought him such comfort, he would keep doing it. Gladly.

Kakashi realized he was way past caring what his peers thought of him. 

Omega Kakashi couldn’t be worse than Friend-Killer Kakashi.

And, also it wasn’t a fully conscious decision on his part, Kakashi wasn’t the type to do things by half. He always had greater control over his scent. He could erase it without patches and only used them because it was still safer and a way to keep quiet. It didn’t take much effort to turn his fresh pine scent into a sweeter one more akin to pine resin. 

Syrupy was a word used to describe omegas’ scents, right?

Iruka smelled of black tea, paper, and… driftwood. It was a homey scent and nothing like their peers who usually smelled smokey and/or bitter. Kakashi wanted to cover himself with Iruka’s scent, or better yet, have the other alpha actively cover him with it. 

Kakashi pressed his uncovered nose to Iruka’s left scent gland while avoiding rubbing his own scent on the other’s skin. He didn’t want to ruin it.

They stood like that for a short while and months — years — of tension progressively left Kakashi’s body. He trusted Iruka to carry more and more of his weight. 

His alpha wouldn’t let him down after all.

***

Iruka didn’t know what to think. He had somehow managed to coerce Kakashi into following him to the hospital. Well, more like he had dragged him by the hand. 

His face was still flushed from the public display when Shizune ushered them into a room, Kakashi, Kurenai, and him. The others had been rebuked by the med-nin’s glare and were waiting — more like pacing — in the corridor.

Shizune had Kakashi and Iruka sitting side by side on a bed. The other alpha’s scent kept peaking up and down, and he had once again gotten rid of his face cover. Iruka watched, concerned, as Kakashi took openly deep breaths as if he couldn’t quite get enough air in his lungs. 

Kurenai stood silent in a corner, only there because of Iruka’s pleading gaze.

Tsunade arrived soon after and she frowned as she noticed Iruka.

Great. He knew this was going to come back to bite him in the ass one way or another.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you an alpha, Sensei?” Tsunade asked.

“I am.”

Iruka swallowed past the lump in his throat. He knew something was wrong with Kakashi but was mostly worried he had somehow made it worse. 

Genma had mentioned Kakashi wasn’t smelling right. His normal scent was fresh, not sweet, and yet the alpha’s scent had gone from pine resin to butterscotch — sycamore syrup, Kurenai had called it — seemingly trying to entice Iruka into resuming their previous embrace. 

Anyone who didn’t know any better would have pinned Kakashi as an omega if crossing their paths as they were on their way to the hospital. 

Tsunade didn’t add anything at first. She put on a pair of gloves before turning her attention to Kakashi. He didn’t budge nor showed any sign of aggressivity as she moved closer. She touched his shoulder first, then moved up to his neck. He tensed and Iruka squeezed the hand that had remained in his all this time. 

It didn’t feel right. Kakashi would probably hate that Iruka had seen such an intimate episode of his life when he got better but, if he got comfort from his presence, then Iruka wasn’t going to chicken out.

“His scent glands are swollen,” Tsunade said. “He is pumping way too many hormones into them to modulate his scent.”

She sighed.

“Do you hear me, brat?” She was looking Kakashi straight in the eyes now. “If you have a problem with being an alpha, you come to me. You don’t fuck up your hormonal balance even more than it already is.”

Kakashi didn’t answer but Iruka could tell he was listening and thinking. Calculating even. 

A small eternity passed before the alpha tilted his head at a forty-five angle — a familiar dog-like gesture. 

“Can you really do it?” he asked. His voice was rough from misuse. “Change my designation?”

Iruka bit his lips to silence any noise that threatened to escape his mouth. 

He shouldn’t be hearing this. They barely knew each other. Granted every time they interacted tended to be life-changing for one of them if not both but still. 

Iruka’s only consolation was that the other three seemed as surprised as he was… except they recovered faster and soon looked thoughtful.

“If it’s about your aggressivity problem, we don’t have to go that far,” Tsunade said at last. “I could give you something to lower your testosterone… or we could target your problem at its root and try scent therapy.”

Kakashi wrinkled his nose at the mention of scent therapy.

“I’m not spending my days plastered to some omega,” he said.

Which, rude. But Iruka guessed it wasn’t a statement against omegas per se. 

“Who said anything about pairing you up with an omega, brat?” Tsunade replied. “I was rather hoping Iruka-Sensei would agree to let you keep cuddling him.”

Wait, what?

[i-left-my-room-tidy]

i wanna shift but i feel like i made myself too OP and similar to some characters now lost all interest (i’m a med-nin, genjutsu user who can control bijuu, proficient in water and lightning style, fast as shisui, regenerative abilities, some sealing etc)

[thanks for this ask!]

just wanted to start this off by apologising for the late reply! uni has been really clogging up sm stuff for me lately lmao (oof same goes to the other blog, for anyone looking at that one).

i completely relate to what you mean, though! i myself have scripted to be OP as well lmao. and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that—so long as you know what you're doing, and you can deal with the consequences that come with it. as I've already put in past posts, my own abilities in my Naruto DR are supposed to be way beyond anyone else's, though of course i still get into trouble every once in a while. that's my only condition for myself: to be able to struggle so i can actually learn through the process(es).

the list of abilities you gave is really interesting imo. it's good to be well-rounded, especially in a world such as Naruto's. if anything, i really would recommend it, even if you have some reservations about it. that's not to say you have to, necessarily, but it's what I'd go for—especially after what i experienced in my own DR.

yours could be different, mind, but the thought remains up in the air. i scripted that my DR stick as close to the canon worldbuilding as possible—meaning, for instance, that all the violence would still be there. trauma is there. I've made my peace with it both, and I'm coping well enough as i do so.

what makes it all easier for me to deal with is my 'OP-ness' in this DR lmao. power really does make a difference. bit of a machiavellian take there, but that's the truth of it—at least, in that reality. and with it; not only did my own motivations to keep shifting keep steady, but the experiences I've had with other people there also served to give me some life lessons along the way.

being everything that you want to be in your Naruto DR isn't inherently bad. there's absolutely nothing wrong with achieving all those things—considering a lot of us want to be just like the characters we've seen and loved in our CRs, and continue to be like that for the sake of shifting itself. i suppose what really makes the difference is how you use those abilities, and how you get around to justifying doing what you do.

[naurasweetarudesu]

Skarloey buffed external resistance but not internal too

Skarloey, having his head bleeding out: "Oh, this? It's just a scratch. Don't worry about it." 😄

Also Skarloey, when bedridden because of flu: "Rhen, I don't think I'll make it to 160 years-" 🤧💀

Rheneas, annoyed while pouring some Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa into a spoon for Skarloey: "Stop being so dramatic and take your meds!" 😠

[bokuwa-tobi]

THINKING ABIUT MEDNIN ISMS….. ahhhh. I’m gonna go into ino though actually. Ino actually has good basis for being a med nin with her mind transfer. off the bat she’s more of a passive combatant than an active one, so being a mednin is a good addition on top of what she already had. also considering her family basis in tni…. Like. being a med nin can work and be interesting if it was just utilized Properly and not just handed off to almost every woman because. Woman. and in particular I think ino would actually be great for it. being a med nin would have to come with so much knowledge over the human body, there’s no way you’d only pick up on how to heal it and not how to exploit it. even if med nin weren’t explicitly “taught” how to weaponize their knowledge im sure some of them would go “what if I used this knowledge for……. something else..” ESPECIALLY— as mentioned in the kk backstory episodes w/ kanabi bridge, med nin are so rare they will often be captured and kept alive by enemy shinobi to heal their own ranks. it would Not be crazy for a med nin stuck in enemy territory forced to heal the enemies ranks to try and remarkably Fuck Up their patients in ways they can get away with. thus I propose the true like,,, “Measure” of a great med nin is actually their ability to do as much harm as they can undetected. because that is cool.

anyway in my own personal naruto ino is just this unbelievably beautiful woman who’s doing up flower bouquets and you see her on the street and go wow…most traditionally ideal woman…… she must be sweet as pumpkin pie <3 and then at her real job she’s splitting skulls every other day for fun.

Oh my god! you see pretty flower shop girl in the battlefield… and she’s a medic…………..traditional ideal woman… a few hours later ino is back at her Real Job where she’s the most..um.. “persuasive” tni agent.

[strengthofmayhem]

I loved reading that Naruto fic you wrote at the start of 2023 "Bit part", with the SI protag a sweary cut-snake-mean chunin. Honestly the best bit interactions with bby!Kakashi, and his resulting unprofessional language acquisition :) The second best was the way you captured the frustrated pauses and half sentences, as you worked through her perspective. It really captured a heck of a lot of tone that's often missing from fic

One question: you said in some comments that she was a potential anbu/root candidate, but I could never work out why? She referred to herself as a mediocre med nin, so I thought it couldn't be that, other times she might have been hard to notice? Like when she was in the pub with Tabata. Did I miss something horribly obvious or was it lost under the general "unreliable narrator + short story" vibe?

Thank you for writing it!

oh haha yeah, yamada is actually an assassination & infiltration specialist— or at least, her talents naturally incline her to be very good at it, and there’s only so much of herself she’s capable of hiding when her life is on the line. she’s got an iron-tight amount of control over her chakra, partially because in some ways it still reads to her as foreign so she’s intimately aware of what she puts out to a sensor’s radar. she’s been scouted for anbu before, her lack of clan connections especially make her an appealing candidate for the kinds of missions konoha doesn’t want to admit they do (& especially for danzo’s sub division). she just doesn’t want too (lol) and devoted an uncharacteristic amount of effort to being a halfway competent med-nin, which sort of gets her left alone but objectively just makes her an even more appealing candidate for these kinds of things…

it’s all probably a bit toooooo “implied” but i wrote that story to have fun and work through writers block. so lol.

unfortunately for poor yamada all roads lead to doing jobs she doesn’t want to do. to me and the vague future i envision for her she’ll wind up being jiraiya’s (and minato’s) agent upon being very unwillingly dragged into a political conspiracy— jiraiya doesn’t want to be doing this either but sakumo is his friend and danzou crossed a line to him by trying to take out this specific political enemy. yamada is already involved and good at what she does so she was a bit doomed the moment minato pegged her for being competent.

[waffliesinyoface]

"So~. I have just heard an incredible rumor, Tsunade-hime."

Tsunade looks up from her desk at the source of her interruption. Orochimaru is, once again, sitting in her office. Despite the fact that he is not actually allowed to be in her office, or even Konoha period.

He had been sitting in her office for the past 26 minutes, gloriously smug, clearly waiting for her to react. But Tsunade was one of the very few people alive who had known Orochimaru when he was a bratty twelve-year-old, and knew, better than anyone else, that the only way to win against Orochimaru was to ignore him.

She'd also neglected to throw him out because it served as an effective deterrent against people trying to bother her with paperwork on her lunchbreak.

"Oh?"

"Yes~! You see, I happened to stop by Hatake's office on the way here, and Naruto, it seems, has somehow reacquired a new arm~."

She knew exactly where this was going and she would not give him the satisfaction of facepalming. It was beneath her.

"And, well, as someone who, in the past, had been rather unceremoniously denied your own services in that regard, I couldn't help but wonder how, exactly, he'd come by such a miraculous replacement. Not a hint of chakra strings controlling it! Absolutely marvelous work, really."

She would not give him the satisfaction.

"So, I took a look in your records - oh, the security seals might need replacing, by the way - and what do I find but Miss Sakura Haruno's studies on adapting hashirama-cells to create prosthetic limbs!"

She changed her mind, this was worse than chuunin attempting to foist Hatake's paperwork onto her when they couldn't find him, despite her being retired.

"Really, how the times have changed~. When she does it, it's a medical miracle, but when I do it, it's 'a violation of human rights' and 'a crime against nature' and 'morally reprehensible'."

Incomparably worse.

"Tsk tsk, Tsunade, letting something so heinous happen under your watch. In Konoha General Hospital, no less! Not even a hint of a back-alley lab or anything! Using your own grandfather's useful corpse like that, what would sensei say~?"

"You...!" She growled, ripped a chunk off the corner of her desk, and threw it at him, causing it to pass harmlessly through where his head had been and knock a whole in the wall behind him.

"Would it kill you to go bother Sensei with this shit for once?!"

"And now you're just giving me permission to use forbidden jutsu? Tsunade, dear, you'll get a reputation for nepotism at this point! But I'll keep it in mind~."

She decided that she needed a new desk anyways, and threw a second, larger chunk at him, which proceeded to knock the door off it's hinges.

"Oh, dear, look at the time! I really must be going. We really need to do this more often, Tsunade-hime~."

As he slithered off into the hallway, past the terrified group of med-nin and one chuunin with a binder who had been waiting for her, he called over his shoulder - "Sorry about the desk, by the way. It looked expensive! Did Tenzou make that for you~?"

[georgialawman]

Rin’s thoughts on the kids

Naruto: knock off obito

Sakura: kid rins outsides with kakashis insides

Sasuke: the second coming of kakashi but only if kakashi was stupid

Joke aside..

Naruto is her favorite— he reminds her of obito and they have the jinchuriki suffering solidarity. He’s awfully spirited in a way obito wasn’t as quite, which she likes. He’s… really stupid… and he’s embarrassingly bad with basic knowledge and Most Things, but. He’s still got all that spirit, which Rin thinks could be channeled into something pretty good. his brashness makes her laugh. Naruto has the top bijuu since birth and he’s got all this vibes???? WhT the heck. she’s a little jealous of that. Naruto is a lot of things, none of which make a great shinobi. She’d hate that for him, but here she is anyway- supposed to be teaching him how to be one. one time when he reiterates telling her he wants to be hokage (now with addeded semi angst) she tells him the same things she told obito when they were kids. at some point more shippuden era she really tries to talk him out of it. It doesn’t go well.

Rin sees herself in Sakura which is kind of embarrassing but she also recognizes just how smart she is. She can very often get annoyed with sakura’s “act” which I’m included to blame on “kunoichi classes” because really, Sakura is smart as fuck and she has phenomenal potential. Rin also sees some of kakashi in Sakura, her brain and how quickly she catches onto things— and that’s what she supports wholeheartedly. And then something reminds her of herself and she gets… aaaa.. she wants sakura’s potential realized, and she definitely tries to get sakura to turn out more like kakashi than her. she knows Sakura has a chance to be like kakashi, who was smart enough to have kept living (only to be dumb enough to die for her), rather than like her; only just smart enough to be the last man standing.

Sasuke… oh sasuke…….. the first time I mentioned Rin pulling an “I can break your arm ^_^” was about Naruto, but most often when she’d pull anything “brutal” like that she’d use it against sasuke. Sasuke was scoffy in canon to Kakashi, I don’t think he’d be very happy with The Med Nin Sensei. he also pushes too far in all the wrong ways. Most she sees out of sasuke is a boy who’s gonna get himself killed. Sure he has more “talent” than Naruto or Sakura, but you need a good head too. Rin. Does not think sasuke has a good head. Also having been teamed alongside jounin at 12 kakashi hatake, sasuke being the prodigy of his generation is hilarious to her. Kakashi was an arrogant little bitch but at least when he bragged he was technically right. oh what war does to kids… and then what no war does to kids…… in retrospect what the hell? anyway if sasuke wasn’t the last uchiha she’d probably find a way to take him ooc so he couldn’t be a shinobi.

my honor/fuck you to kishimoto is rin having no thoughts on Sakura being a shinobi while thinking Naruto and sasuke shouldn’t be shinobi. Naruto for being too warm hearted, sasuke because he’s going to go out like a dead star. but Sakura? Yeah. She’s fine.

The kishimoto honor: no deeper thoughts on the girl character. the kishimoto fuck you: the girl is best suited for ninja-ing.

[doomwhore]

Naruto characters who are dorky as hell when initiating sex

KAKASHI: kakashi may read porno in public and always have a stoic face but, in the end, he's a dork. He's awkward, not used to intimacy and nervous. His face will go all red and he'll say

"U-um, babe, you wanna...yknow?"

NARUTO: naruto is bold and brash, and quickly gets past his shyness but is still super awkward. He's loud and energetic in everything he does. A dork, but in an adorable way.

"Hey! Hey! We should go in the bedroom!"

SAKURA: super, super, super shy and awkward in the beginning of the relationship. She just, is so nervous! What If you think she's a pervert!? As a med-nin, she knows it's natural but she can't help but be insecure when asking. She'll go red as a tomato each time and it takes atleast a year to get her to stop being so shy.

"I- um..I think we should..i- yknow what, never mind! Cha!"

HINATA: it's hinata.

TSUNADE: she hasn't fucked since Dan died, which is almost 50 years. She feels like a virgin again. She sure as hell isn't shy but gets frustrated at her own nerves and ends up coming off a little angry.

"Hey, you, come here." Tsunade will say with a pout and a slight blush.

IRUKA: sweet, sweet, sweet man. Is so sacred of coming of as pushy or gross. It's almost too sweet. He'll put his hand on the back of his head and put on a fake smile and say..

"Um, heh, if you, er, wouldn't mind..."

[sukirainbow]

First akatsuki 'adopted' characters

Lil bits of lore for these characters I named and redrew

Chisumu

In charge of logistics in the group. He was originally from Kyousuke's gang. -------

Daibutsu

Canonically uses water release and a bo. Taijutsu expert. He's the tallest of the group Has a protective big brother aura. Joined at the same time as Kie.

-------

Daina

Film nerd. She collects niche and rare movies to show at her place to her friends and discuss. Sumi and her are a non exclusive couple.

She's in charge of the archives and communications at the main Ame base.

-------

Harazan

Butch trans lesbian. Involved with Sumi, Daina and Suko. She learned medical ninjutsu with Naka (Suko's mom) and is one of the front line medic, being trained to heal people during missions. She prefers to be on the field anyway so she's less often assigned to the med bay. She uses senbon and has wind chakra. She underestimates he own skills in ninjutsu.

-------

Kanemoro

Ex Hanzo man, uses a scythe to fight along with water techniques. Was convinced by Yahiko's convictions and deserted for the Akatsuki.

-------

Kie

Has the same cultural origins as Kyousuke and some of his gang members hence the purple markings. Lost an eye in a skirmish with Hanzo's men. Tried his hand at medical ninjutsu with Naka (Suko's mom) but isn't very good at it. He learned regular medicine along with it and so works at the medbay along with Suko. -------

Kiyotaka

Was part of Kyousuke's gang and so joined with him. He uses a large sword and is part of the fighters of the group.

-------

Kutaro

He's part of Kyousuke's group and became a med nin with Naka's training, he and Suko are the two main medic of the Medbay.

He has salamander summons (small ones) which have poisonous skin that he uses to create poisons that many Ame shinobi comes to him to buy.

-------

Kyousuke

Trans guy. Was originally leading a group of thief who pillaged villages to survive but joined the Akatsuki after meeting the Ame Orphans. His gang and him are generally well regarded in the group as they are the firsts who joined the group of the founders. Took very well to being rejected by Konan and kept a good relationship with her. Later on when Konan started opening up to dating she asked him if he was still interested and of course he was. He fights with a sword and possess fire and earth chakra which let him use lava release. He's part of the group's fighters as well as being part of the logistic branch.

-------

Masahiko

Trans guy too. He was also part of Kyousuke's gang, they are transition buddies. He uses the traditional Amegakure senbon umbrella and water techniques.

-------

Nobushin

He's part of a clan that has cousin origins to the Inuzukas but in Ame. His main ninken is Moppumaru. Together they use water and earth techniques as well as mud release.

-------

Sato

Used to be part of Kyousuke's gang. Is mostly in charge of supplies and logistic, as well as a fighter. His strong suit is genjutsu.

-------

Sumi

Daina's girlfriend and Akatsuki's 2nd butch She use kenjutsu and earth release, mostly has fighter and defense role.

-------

Yoki

Nonbinary and part of Kyousuke's crew. Their family originally came from Kumo.

They can use lightning techniques and use twin blades.

[evilkitten3]

#I am also sick of konan being the medical ninja of the akatsuki#guys. hold my hands. just bcs kishimoto makes all the women healers doesn't mean we have to.#if there was going to be a designated healer of the akatsuki it would be sasori. maybe kakuzu. lets think logically here#but further than that it seems like a lot of the older/more established akatsuki members have their own lackeys. like kabuto. whos a healer#and I guess hypothetically they have all of the hidden rain village at their disposal. they could be getting medical attention anywhere tbh#they are a whole ass organization yknow like they probably have doctors. they have resources they have ppl for this kind of thing#just leave my girl konan out of it ok#she does not give a rats ass about learning to heal ppl. she doesn't care if any of these assholes die

WHAT DO YOU MEAN PEOPLE ARE MAKING KONAN A MED NINJA HELLO??????

KAKUZU IS THE FUCKING MED NIN HE IS LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER PROVIDES ANY KIND OF MEDICAL ATTENTION TO ANY OF THE OTHER MEMBERS

sick of konan being written as the only sane one in the akatsuki. the lady thinks her bestie is an actual deity and she somehow found the time and energy to make six hundred billion bombs for the purpose of killing a single guy who helped kickstart her terrorist organization bc she thinks he's a bit sus

the only sane one is kisame

[cebwrites]

bittersweet, clear medicine

a/n: a little gift for @itsgai since i've been rotating our characters in my head nonstop sfsdjgh

oc | gen word count: 1k

Two weeks since Shin was cleared from their physical therapy. 14 days since an older man in a sterile white lab coat had given them a clean bill of health in the stead of their usual medic since he'd been sent on a mission at the time.

Takashi still congratulated them when news reached him once he returned, though. Baked him a lopsided cake and everything.

Unable to recapture the slumbering sand in their eyes, Shin sat up with a lot less difficulty than they'd struggled with in previous months. Taking note of an owl's morning hoots on the branch outside their window, then the actual note on their bedside table to take their meds and stretch properly.

...Right.

With Gai out of the village at Tsunade's request, Shin would have a few more hours free every day for a little while. Today, they chose to spend it tailing someone else for a change, out of curiosity if anything else.

Shin arrived at Konoha's main hospital to find a scene of mild panic—though they still kept their distance—nurses ranged from completely flustered to only showing mild irritation, other patients and staff members still conversing as if the old man making a break for it across the lawn in nothing but scrubs was just another everyday occurrence.

Judging from the exasperation of senior medical personnel, it was.

There was no need to intervene, however, since the man was eventually apprehended by a couple of winded interns, probably former shinobi from the way they moved, but not particularly good enough to keep on the field.

"Takaki-san! You can't keep trying to escape your sponge bath! This is embarrassing, think of what your daughters will have to put up with when they hear about their father's bare ass in public."

"Agh, let them! S'what they get for leaving me in the care of you bozos."

As the excitement died down, Shin gradually started to ignore most of their surroundings in lieu of searching for their person of interest again; blending into the background despite their distinct appearance made even more notable by the new scar that spanned across a large part of their upper body now.

They found him about an hour later, still remaining hidden, apologizing for his tardiness and placing blame on a failed alarm clock. His seniors could forgive Takashi for being behind schedule, but they still laid into the young man for overworking himself again.

That... Takashi had no excuse for.

Shin watched from the shadows as Takashi went about his day, tending to patients with the same tenderness they had been afforded under his care, disappearing in and out of rooms Shin either had no access to or felt wrong to spy on given specific circumstances. They also gained funny looks from a handful of particularly perceptive jonin passing by, but most people either ignored them or weren't aware of their presence.

At some point they'd lost their in the somewhat controlled commotion of rush hour, but found Takashi making polite conversation with a coworker during his lunch break outside.

"That's Takaki-san for you," he offered a smile in consolation to his fellow medic-nin, "he gets really fussy if he isn't allowed to have his breakfast in view of the sun."

"Does it really matter? That doesn't give him an excuse to make hell for the rest of us."

Takashi put down the instant coffee he'd been nursing, turning his gaze to the band-aid wrapped around his left index finger. "I think it does. Lots of our patients will be here for the rest of their lives. The least we can do is make sure it's comfortable and dignified, right?"

Tuning out the other medic's complaints, something along the lines of there being no dignity in running around naked, Shin's mind began to wander to a conversation they had with the taller brother out of this pair some time ago.

"What do you think of your brother, Takashi."

"...What about him?" Tae's attention lifted from the shogi board between them to his companion's face; still heavily bandaged, but he'd heard from his brother that they were well enough to start moving around - the reason why he was here playing in Takashi's stead.

"Your opinions; do you think little of him, do you find his weaknesses a hindrance."

"No." The response is immediate. Though his voice is still very monotone, Shin senses a twinge of irritation worked into the muscles of Tae's forehead as they take one of his pieces off the board. "I don't think my brother is weak."

"Tacchan has more strengths than drawbacks. He can do things most people can't as a medic-nin, he's kind despite everything. If I was in his position I would have failed a long time ago. Takashi's someone people can easily trust in."

Shin watches the board, mirroring the placid expression of the man before him as their game intensifies, beads of sweat starting to form on their skin with every audible wooden tap, every new move, every counterattack,

"So I won't let anyone mock my brother's resolve."

Check mate.

Shin's brought back to the present by the sound of their target and colleague getting up to stretch, to get back to their backbreaking, thankless labor - they also begin to wonder about the similarities they've noticed between these twins.

Just as they feel as though they've observed enough and get up to leave, Takashi's voice catches Shin's attention again.

"Oh man, I'm going to be late for my afternoon match with one of the patients—we better hurry!"

"The shogi one? But I thought that guy was released a while ago?"

They watch from the cover of densely packed leaves as their former physician stumbles, almost losing his balance as the information registers and his buddy fusses over whether Takashi's really alright or not, regardless of the sheepish grin he's given.

Shin couldn't help the small, almost inaudible laugh that bubbles out from them—hidden by their sleeve. They don't suppress the smile that forms at the thought of Takashi yelling at them to get down from there and rest, Shin-san since even though they'd been cleared from physical therapy, they were still technically not supposed to strain themself.

Exemplified by the way their right shoulder had been prickling on and off all day. But that would just be another excuse reason to visit the doctor, right?