#and bee had the speed run where the really terrible things happened in a year

[spectrum-color]

PROPAGANDA

Fitz-was abandoned by his mother at 5 (I know she wasn’t given a choice but from his POV,) was forced to sleep in the barn with the animals, wasn’t given an actual name so adopted shorthand for bastard to call himself, was dressed in drab ill fitting clothes and neglected deliberately so he wouldn’t attract attention, never met his father, was told by his grandfather at 9 that his choices were to be a spy and assassin or to die, was forced into killing by the time he was a preteen, was rejected and abused by his foster father when he realized he was Witted, lost 2 Wit partners before he even hit puberty and accidentally became overly enmeshed with his 3rd, was discriminated against for having the Wit in the first place, was terrorized and eventually tortured to death by his jealous uncle, had suicidal ideation magically imprinted on his brain by an abusive teacher who also damaged his ability to do magic, didn’t meet his first daughter until she was a teenager, had his body used to conceive his cousin without his full consent and could never tell him the truth, accidentally fucked up his psyche by removing too many of his emotions by magic and became a dick until they were returned 16 years later, returned to his childhood home posing as a servant and resurfacing all of his trauma over not feeling like a real member of his family, lost his deeply enmeshed Wit partner and refused to ever find another one, fell in love with his male best friend in an intensely homophobic society, lost said best friend in a terrible way while fulfilling his dying wish and saving the world, brought the best friend back only for him to break off their bond and leave, didn’t see him for 30 years, had a slow developing second daughter he struggled to bond with, became a single dad to a child he didn’t know how to properly care for, accidentally nearly killed his homoerotic best friend who was frail and had been tortured into insanity, his daughter was abducted by the evil magic eugenics cult that did it while he was trying to save the friend, went on a suicidal revenge quest against the magic eugenics cult, his daughter experienced horrific traumas during this time and was hardened into the Destroyer, nearly drowned on cult island, was infected by body destroying parasites that ate him from the inside out, died while being gawked at by everyone as he tried to transfer his consciousness into a stone wolf with his gay bestie

The Fool-raised by loving parents for his first 20 years before they inadvertently dropped him off with an abusive cult, was isolated and faced physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, had a substitute parent figure abandon him when she I longer found him useful, was forcibly held down and tattooed with a full back piece, sold himself into slavery in order to escape, had faced such extensive sexual abuse that he expected to be raped his first night in his new location, shunned by most people who see him as a “freak,” beaten by the kings favorite son and his friends, loses his father figure and his only friend/Catalyst for his life’s work in one night, reunites with his friend/Catalyst who he has fallen in love with but has no choice but to leave him for 15 years shortly after, upon reuniting with him his friend finds out about his love for him and angrily rejects it and is openly disgusted by his sexuality and gender presentation, he finds out through prophecy that he’s going to die horribly but he can’t avoid it if he’s going to fulfill his mission, he reconciles with the man he loves only days before his murder, he is flayed alive while having his memories stolen, he’s brought back from the dead against his will by his best friend, said friend then wants him to play third wheel while he gets back with his ex girlfriend, a former White Prophet who he respects tells him that he needs to leave his friend forever or risk undoing his work, the former White Prophet takes him back to cult island where he is tortured into insanity over the course of 20 years, he escapes and travels the world blind and crippled and and nearly dead to return to his friend, he finds out that he has a daughter he never knew, the daughter is kidnapped by the same people who harmed him as a child and an adult, he is forced to return there to possibly face unspeakable horrors to have a chance at saving her, spends the whole mission becoming increasingly depressed and withdrawn, foresees that the man he loves will not survive the rescue, loses the love of his life and is immediately rejected by his daughter, returns with nothing left to live for, ultimately chooses to essentially commit suicide to be with his love

Bee-believed to be “simple” due to her slow development for most of her childhood, rejected by her peers, cared for almost exclusively by her mother until her death when Bee was only 9, once it was determined she can in fact learn ended up with an abusive tutor, from her perspective was left behind by her father in favor of his old friend who he had a suspiciously close relationship with, was abducted by a representative from an evil cult who sacked her home, was surrounded by rapists while trying to pass as a boy, was regularly beaten into submission over the course of several months, believed that her father had rejected her and no one would come for her, went on a killing spree that included setting a woman on fire, realized she was a prophesied figure known as the Destroyer, saw her father appear to die, found out that she has a second father who is from the same race of people who took her and wants to make her the White Prophet, found out her father who raised her is still alive only to see him be eaten alive by parasites, saw her second father choose to die to be with him after she told him that her father loved him more than her, seemingly vindicating everything she said

[pugswithlasers]

So, Sparky (the dog in my header) recently passed away. I feel terrible, but I don’t think that he would want that. So instead, I’m making a list of all the cool things in his life, because he was a fucking legend. Imagine a trickster god trapped in the body of a hyperactive Jack Russell- Papillon mix. So, in chronological order:

We adopted him back when I was in elementary school, in Minnesota. He was one year old at the time. He was part of the foster program of the Midwest Animal Rescue Society, which meant that we also got this cool bumper sticker (which I now have pinned to my wall with a bunch of other personal mementos):

Our first introduction to him was Loud Barking and an explanation of how energetic and fast he was (by way of his foster owner tying his leash to her bike and riding down the road, which Sparky had no trouble keeping up with). She suggested we get a treadmill and put a treat at the end, because he would be jittery all day if he didn’t get enough Running Around Time

He barked the entire way home, which was an hour’s drive

For explanation on why the barking is relevant, he was a very loud boy. A loud and somewhat high-pitched boy.

He was also very intelligent. Not necessarily obedient, but intelligent. He did know how to sit pretty/beg though, which he did every time he wanted something

His time in Minnesota was also his Peak Bastard Years.

On my first attempt to walk him (I was age 5 and thus small) (it was winter) he pulled me right down an icy hill adjacent to the backyard, straight into my aunt’s dog’s frozen piss (at the time, my family lived in my aunt’s basement)

He barked so loudly and frequently that he had the cops called on him once. Sparky was not home at the time so he got away with his crimes

During this time, my dad taught him to go down the slide at the local playground, which was delightful

One time, when I was in kindergarten, he happened to be in the car when dad was dropping me off. Sparky had learned which button opened the car window, so he pressed it, launched himself out the window of the parked car, ran right into the school, and had a wonderful time zooming around the hallways while my dad tried to catch him

Once at a birthday party, he horrified my friend’s dad by Having An Erection. Keep in mind this is a dog he was worried about. Said father asked MY dad if “you could maybe train him to stop”. (Sparky did not stop.)

Then my family moved to a rural area of [province redacted], Canada. He now had a large backyard to run around in, so the bastardry lessened somewhat (but not entirely).

We kept upgrading the fence, but he kept finding new ways to escape and hang out with/get into barking matches with the neighbours’ dogs.

We also got another dog, Stella. She’s a pug, she’s a delight, and she and Sparky became partners for life. They cuddled, they fought, they had a healthy sex life, committed food theft together, etc

He really enjoyed hiding under blankets. This is cute until you realize that he was small, and so sometimes he was very well disguised. Several times, I set down on the couch only for an angry pile of blankets to erupt from beneath me

Sparky caught several rats in the backyard, which was kind of upsetting for me, and he also once caught a bee, which was upsetting for him

We once brought him to a casual dog race for the fun of it, but realized pretty quickly he was not well-trained enough to succeed. He was by far the fastest dog there, though— we found this out when he decided to run at full speed in the opposite direction to the rest of the dogs, because he wanted to chase down a dragonfly.

A few years ago, one of our other dogs, Taylor, wandered off and got lost. She has the dog version of dementia and her solution to “I don’t know where I am” is just to keep walking forward. She managed to get stuck in a bush in the woods. Just when my parents were about to give up on finding her, Sparky bolted off into the underbrush and led them to her location.

Even in old age, he continued being excellent. He barked at birds, enjoyed Stella’s company, and loved to curl up with his favourite toy in front of the woodstove

The last thing he did, at age 16, was to use his remaining strength to bite a vet

Sparky’s message to the world: look death in the face. break rules. get bitches. enjoy the wonders of life. bite your enemies.

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

A New AU, Full To The Brim With Chaos

So, you know this post. And, if you’re a part of the Dream SMP fandom, you probably know why “speedrunner makes it to the edge of the universe” would get some attention.

I saw this post and thought, “You know what I don’t need more of right now? New writing projects.”

And then I thought “Fuck it, word building go zoom”, and that’s why we’re here

World Building/Backstory

The small town of L’Manburg didn’t start out magical, it wouldn’t have gotten as much press attention if it did

The experts are still debating as to what exactly happened there, and where the magic came from, and there’s a lot of governmental red tape, so it’s easier to stick to what we know:

L’Manburg wasn’t magic. Then it was. And the world made a bit of a fuss about it.

So! A small town randomly has like 80 fantasy plotlines hurriedly crammed into 25 square miles of Florida by a dimensional rift. There’s enchanted swords, horrifying monsters, dreamons, things that Lurk in the woods, and so much wizardry.

The people of the town freak out. The news freaks out. The world freaks out. The government freaks out, and the town is put under total lockdown until they can figure out what the magic is and how they can control it.

This is sort of a high school AU, I guess? At any rate, all of the characters except Schlatt and Phil are in high school, and they’re coping with all of this about as well as you’d expect a bunch of teenagers to do

The Characters

Tommy: Tommy is making YouTube videos of his attempts to learn magic

Specifically, he wants to learn how to fly so he can get out of the heavily guarded town, and he wants to collect all of the mysterious glowing music discs hidden in the area because 1) They could do something combined and 2) He can, so why not?

He’s just really excited about all of this, and not really thinking about the implications

Tubbo: Tubbo has mixed feelings

On the one hand, he very much enjoys that he can talk to bees now, and he’s having fun learning alchemy in his little wizard lab

On the other hand, his dad was outside of the town when the magic hit, and he’s had to stay at Tommy’s house for the last couple weeks.

He’s trying not to think about it, and is instead learning how to trap and/or fight dreamons.

Wilbur: Wilbur is trying to figure out how to balance potion brewing, drama club, extreme acts of hubris, and senior year homework into his schedule

did i mention the hubris because he has it

He finds a mysterious glowing dome in the woods, and has nothing better to do, so he starts half-jokingly worshipping it. Many people have joined him.

Technoblade: Technoblade starts out as a hardcore skeptic about this whole “magic” business. He’s convinced that this has to be some trick of the government, and even if it isn’t there’s bound to be some monkey’s paw repercussions to playing with the fabric of the universe

Then, the Blood God chooses him

Suddenly, his apprehensions about power have faded into the background.

Phil: Phil wants to get the hell out of this town

With or without his sons, or whatever they’re becoming

Schlatt: Schlatt is going to find a way to become the richest man alive from this. And he doesn’t care who he has to cheat, spell, or even get rid of to do it.

Quackity: Quackity is having the time of his life

He’s learned shape-shifting, tamed a skeleton horse (which looks completely badass), and is very ready to fuck around and find out

Karl: Karl is the guy who figures out how to time travel, of course

There’s a surprising amount of bureaucracy and microwaving involved

Sapnap: Sapnap is here for arson, and that’s just what he’ll do.

Skeppy: Skeppy was the first one to figure out how to magically create diamonds, and he won’t shut up about it (Which is fair, since he figured out how to magically create diamonds)

He also summoned a demon for the heck of it, and they’re best friends already

Bad Boy Halo: Bad was the demon Skeppy summoned, and he’s vibing

He has villainous plans(tm) involving the Crimson, but he’s also really friendly, so everyone is fine with him despite the fact that he’s a literal demon.

Sam: Sam is trying to figure out how to Science the magic

He’s trying to create a wiki detailing what does what, and what cheats they can use to get better results

Sam has also created many cursed artifacts that will never, ever come back to haunt them.

Antfrost: All that Ant has done with the magic is turn himself into an anthropomorphic cat

No one is questioning this

Captain Puffy: Captain Puffy found an enchanted sword in the forest, She-Ra style. She’s taking up vigilante heroics as a hobby.

Niki: Niki has learned how to do a similar thing to Allison’s rumor power from Umbrella Academy, and she’s also selling magical flora out in front of her house.

Eret: Eret seems to be partially immune to magic, or at least resistant

They can see through illusions and dodge curses, at the price of not being as magically powerful as some of their friends

They’re working with Ranboo to try to journal the events taking place, so there’s some kind of record of when magic came to town

Fundy: Fundy is being the eldritch charlatan we all know he can be

He’s trying to learn how to shift reality and dazzle everyone, mostly so they’ll pay attention to him for once

Ranboo: Ranboo is freaked out by all of this

He’s convinced that when given power, people do terrible things, and nowhere in this world has the kind of power they do now

He’s trying to write it all down, just in case things turn sour

Dream: Dream wants to be a god

Of course, he’s the one speed running to the edge of the universe.

Dream is trying to figure out this new system of magic so he can transcend mortality and have infinite power, and he’s not even trying to disguise his intentions about it. He wants to be a god, and it’s worrying.

George: George says he doesn’t believe in magic

There’s going to be a running gag throughout this AU, that George seems to always be in the wrong place or not paying attention whenever something blatantly magical happens, and he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on

Right?

When George says he doesn’t believe in magic, remember why Season One Jon from The Magnus Archives used to say he didn’t believe in the paranormal :)

So, that’s the AU so far! I really like this concept, and I want to write about it, and would love to talk about it more if anyone would like to ask

And that’s it!

I’m calling it the Incantation AU for now

[one-more-offbeat-anthem]

merry christmas to all who celebrate! this is a lil fluffy-as-all-get-out christmas one-shot I wrote for the @destielsecretsanta2020 -- my giftee was the lovely @justonecitizenoftheearth!!! I hope this fic brings you joy, and a merry merry christmas and happy holidays in general to you :) 

a love that’s meant for me (yes this title is from the kelly clarkson song “under the tree,” leave me alone about it)

It all started because of a dog.

To be more accurate, it started because of a dog and a former angel of the lord and a three-year-old who was also God, but when Dean had tried to blame Cas and Jack, he’d gotten a couple of dirty looks. Miracle, however, was a dog, unable to give effective dirty looks--and she couldn’t kick Dean out of his own bed like Cas could.

Dean and Cas had gone on the weekly grocery run, and had decided to go to Walmart just to get some last-minute Christmas presents. Dean hadn’t expected Walmart to be a religious experience for Cas, but he supposed that when your ass had just been yanked out of the Empty, everything was awesome.

Cas had gotten it into his head that they all needed matching sweaters, and then he had seen that dog sweaters were a thing, and Dean was sorta-kinda powerless to tell Cas no (no, Sam, he wasn’t whipped), so they’d left the store with red snowflake patterned sweaters for everyone, even Miracle.

(Then Cas got into the idea of properly celebrating Christmas--the only thing they weren’t doing was going to church.)

So now Dean was in the war room, looking up at a massive Christmas tree that they had just dragged inside, off the back of Cas’s truck.

“Remind me why I’m doing this again,” Dean said, turning from the tree to the tangled pile of tinsel on the table.

“Because you love me,” Cas replied, with complete ease and confidence. He was sitting on the floor next to the tree, detangling lights. Jack was on the other side of the war room with some boxes of ornaments.

“Don’t get used to it.”

Cas beamed at Dean. “I never will.”

It hit Dean sort of like a truck, because he got it. He was never going to be used to Cas loving him, either. It felt like the best night out, a smooth ride in a classic car, the nicest aged whiskey, a bacon cheeseburger...but also, it felt small and simple and happy. Cas was in snowman-patterned pajamas, and his hair was salt-n-pepper because he was human now and aging, and his blue eyes were warm with mirth and--

“Dean?” Jack asked.

“What, kiddo?”

“Angel or star for the top of the tree?”

“Oh, definitely the angel,” Dean said, and Cas grinned again.

------------------

“We have to have pie,” Dean said, “It’s Christmas.”

“Dean,” Sam said, “You always think we should have pie.”

“And?” Dean turned back to the cookbook he was looking at. They were all in the kitchen now, with Cas and Jack making hot chocolate while Sam humored Dean. “Apple and pumpkin are a must.”

“Cherry?” Cas offered, smiling at Dean.

“Key lime!” Jack said, adding at least half a bag of marshmallows to his hot chocolate.

“Wrong time of year, kiddo,” Dean said, “Maybe for the Fourth of July.”

“Pecan?” Sam said.

“Sounds good to me.”

“You just want an excuse to make four pies.”

“No, Sam, I want an excuse to eat four pies.”

------------------

Despite the Christmas cheer that permeated the bunker, Dean still felt a little bit off-center. It had been a hard year--hell, it had been a hard forty or so years before now, when they were finally getting peace. He had Cas, and Sam had Eileen, and all together they had family--Jack and Miracle, and then Jody and Donna with the rest of the girls, too, people who were coming over for New Year’s.

But Dean was uneven. He secretly wondered when all of this would be taken from him, when he would wake up and find that the warm body next to him wasn’t Cas but just his imagination.

So far, it hadn’t happened. So far, Cas was still a solid weight, arms wrapped around him. Cas was both terrible and wonderful to share a bed with--he was gloriously warm, almost like a heater, and loved to cuddle, but he also hogged blankets and moved around a lot. Dean woke up every morning with their floor covered in pillows.

Christmas Eve was no exception. Dean awoke to Cas shifting, pillowing his head on Dean’s chest. Cas’s arms wrapped around Dean, and he sighed contentedly in his sleep, fully relaxing his weight onto Dean.

“Cas, wake up.” Dean used his free hand, the one not currently smothered by the weight of a former angel, to shake Cas’s shoulder.

“Mmmph.”

“Cas.”

Cas shifted, looked up at Dean blearily. “What do you want, Dean?”

“Okay, grumpy. I just wanted you to stop cutting off my circulation.”

“It’s Christmas Eve. You have to be nice to me.” Cas did roll off of him, though.

“How do you figure that?”

“I used to be an angel. Christmas is Jesus’ birthday.” Cas grinned lazily at Dean, a shit-eating grin if Dean had ever seen one.

“Oh, fuck off.” But Dean took Cas’s hand, intertwining their fingers and drawing them up to kiss Cas’s knuckles. “What do you want to do today?”

“Pancakes.���

“Fine, but you have to help.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Cas snuggled close to him again. “You didn’t sleep well last night.”

“No shit. There was another person stealing all the blankets.”

Cas ignored the jibe. “You had a nightmare.”

“Stop psychoanalyzing me, Cas.”

“I’m not going anywhere, you know that, right?” Cas was propped up on an elbow now, staring at Dean, his gaze bright and warm.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean pulled him down to kiss him and tangle his fingers in Cas’s slowly greying hair, “Let’s go make those pancakes.”

------------------

“These don’t look like angels at all,” Jack said, glancing at Dean.

“I know, kiddo. Not the point. They’re just supposed to be fun.”

Cas stopped moving his arms--he was still lying on the ground, making his snow angel--to say, “This is cold.” “Then get up.” Dean offered a hand to pull Cas up.

“Can we have hot chocolate when we get inside?” Jack asked hopefully.

“Actually, I was thinking warm apple cider today. Don’t ruin your sweet tooth before cookies later.” Dean beckoned Cas and Jack to follow him inside, where Eileen and Sam were hanging up tinsel in the library. They made a bee-line for the kitchen, though, in search of warm drinks.

“Didn’t realize you’d be the practical dad,” Cas whispered, his chin nearly on Dean’s shoulder as he heated up the cider on the stove.

“Really, I just wanted apple cider. And I don’t think Jack’s ever had any.” Dean turned his head slightly to press a kiss to Cas’s cheek.

“What a Samaritan.”

“I try.”

------------------

The rest of Christmas Eve passed in the same lazy manner--making gingerbread, making a mess decorating gingerbread, drinking more cider, watching Christmas Vacation in the Dean Cave (starting with a quick debate about whether Jack was allowed to watch the infamous pool scene or not), and then, finally, going to sleep.

“You know the best thing about our kid being God?” Dean asked as he lay in bed, watching Cas put on his pajamas.

“What’s that?”

“We don’t have to do Santa.”

“Fair.” Cas let out a laugh, “Did you ever do Santa as a kid?”

“When Mom was alive.” Dean rolled to stare at the ceiling. “Besides that one time with that wood nymph--this is the first real Christmas I’ve had in...a long time.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Cas climbed into bed next to Dean as he spoke, “This is my very first Christmas.” His lips tickled Dean’s ear.

“You always make me feel better. Turn off the lamp, will you?”

Cas rolled over sideways and switched the lamp off before letting himself be pulled back into Dean’s arms. “Is it after midnight?” Cas asked.

“I think so, yeah. Why?”

“I wanted to make sure it was Christmas.” Cas’s hand found Dean’s cheek in the dark. “Can I give you your present now?”

“Uh…” Dean swallowed thickly. “Do you want the lights back on?”

“No, this is fine.” Cas took a pause and then started speaking again, faster this time, like he was nervous. “You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to, I get it if you’d rather not do something like this, but--”

“Are you trying to ask me on a date, angel?”

“No, I’m asking you to marry me.”

Dean didn’t answer--not out loud, anyways. There weren’t any words adequate enough for the swelling feeling inside his chest, so instead he found Cas’s mouth in the dark, kissing him clumsily and off-center.

“Is that a yes?” Cas murmured against his lips.

“What else would I say?”

Cas huffed out a laugh. “For the record, I did get a ring. It’s just in the dresser and I didn’t feel like getting up again. I was...actually going to ask tomorrow morning.”

“Why the change of plan?” Dean’s thumbs were now tracing along Cas’s collarbones.

“I just...saw you lying there, talking about Jack, and I didn’t want to wait.”

“We did twelve years of waiting, I think it’s okay to speed things up now.”

------------------

(Christmas set the standard for the ones to follow. Eileen had hung mistletoe over half the doorways in the bunker, which meant Sam was blushing crimson for most of the day. Jack loved being introduced to cinnamon rolls--especially the icing. 

And Dean?

Dean loved being with his family.

And being engaged. Now that one really took Sam out.)

[poppyna]

the visitor ; anton&poppy

timing: earlier in may + last week participants: @poppyvernis & @grantcontrol​ summary: anton gets sent to the hospital. poppy gets a snack a meal plan. content warning: head trauma

In his less than stellar career as an exterminator, Anton was at least able to prove two things: One, he couldn’t dodge bullets, and two, he couldn’t dodge the ground. In retrospect, chasing an overgrown spider on someone else’s roof wasn’t the best idea, but at least it gave him enough time to consider his life choices, as flashes of previously, terribly made ones came running back to him, right before his very eyes, the fall itself peculiarly slow, as if it was intentionally taking an eternity to accommodate this Powerpoint presentation of numerous mistakes and regrets. Then the thud came, and everything else faded to black. 

The next thing he knew, he was coming in and out of consciousness, being wheeled through what smelled like a hospital, what sounded like an introvert’s worst nightmare. What he could see were mere blurs, almost incomprehensible and incoherent images fighting for his attention against the blinding lights of the ceiling. What he could hear were bits and pieces of rushed conversation, none of which he was interested in. 

A familiar voice did ring in his ears, barely making any sense to him, mostly because he was more concerned about the stuffed rabbit he just dropped as they were wheeling him away, his outstretched hand reaching for it but to no avail. “...oh, it’s the exterminator...what happened?” “...fell down a roof…chasing...dog...” “really?! ...well, that’s dumb.” Then the darkness returned, dragging him back into the depths of his own mind, where a haunting shadow patiently lurked. Hello, Anton. You have your mother’s eyes.

Gossip spread through the ER like wildfire, no matter how much the nurses liked to boast about having the perfect mask of professionalism with patients. The ones with strange reasons for ending up there were the hottest topics- at least for a few moments before someone else came with an even more inane reason. Poppy liked to pretend she wasn’t as interested as the rest of them, but even she wasn’t immune to the allure of knowing other people’s business. And the business, specifically, seemed to be an exterminator of some sort who was in over his head.

The reception area had a temporary lull in new faces, and it was her who was tasked with bringing the personal belongings over to the different private rooms. She expected bags of clothes, maybe a phone or two, but not a… child’s toy? The last thing she wanted to see was some sickly child. Those cases always left a bad taste in her mouth. Regardless, she donned a pair of gloves and set out to deliver the goods that had been left.

When she finally came to the room the note on the doll had mentioned, she realized two things very quickly. One, that the doll did not, in fact, belong to some sickly child, and two, that she definitely should not have stepped into that room. Poppy could almost feel the uneasy dream the man laying in the bed was slipping into from her position all the way by the door. She gulped. She definitely should have just asked someone else to do this job. She threw a quick glance behind her shoulder before she slid the door to the room closed with her hip. As she extended her hand to brush over the man’s forehead to enhance the unpleasant dream he had, she noted that this must be that exterminator the staff were all murmuring of. 

“Sorry,” she whispered to herself.

Anton has done his fair share of running. From debt collectors? Check. From adult responsibilities like being a good dad to a young daughter he’s barely met? Check. From bees? Check. The last part, he felt like he’d be doing for an eternity. Or at least until he got tired, which in this place, wherever it was, didn’t feel like it was happening any time soon. Where the hell am I? He wondered, at least for a bit, looking around him as grayish smoke and mist surrounded him, drowning this place as far as he could see. That was, until his attention was once again stolen by the giant bees that were apparently chasing him.

Anton. The voice spoke to him, not as sound in the air but seemingly from deep within, as if the speaker was someone, or something, that resided in his heart of hearts. You cannot run forever. Panting, wheezing, though not actually feeling tired, if only afraid, fearful for what could happen should his feet, knees, fail him, the exterminator continued to run, looking back every now and then to find the giant bees still after him, never speeding up nor slowing down. 

Then he spotted something strange, something new, a face, unfamiliar and out of place, from within the swarming rabble. Sorry, she whispered to him, not as sound in the air but from deep within, only confusing him even more. Who the— He cut himself off as he turned away, colliding straight into something else, something strong enough to knock him back, down on his ass on the ground. Wincing, Anton took his sweet time making sure he was still in one piece before he looked up and saw the man in the beekeeper’s suit, his arms already reaching towards him. I’m already home!

On his bed in the hospital, his physical body twitched and turned, his lips moving, though rare were the words that came out ever coherent. Although the fear was great, his guilt would never come second, and under three words, Anton’s lips moved ever so slightly to allow them a strange passage. “It’s okay…”

Poppy’s brow furrowed for a moment as the visions he saw danced through her mind. What the hell kind of fears did this man have?  She wasn’t creating anything for him to experience- no, this was a nightmare birthed from his own personal hell. If the rush of energy she felt from how terrified some guy and his insects made him feel- she probably would have cared more about that. She rolled her neck and shoulders slowly, head tilting from one side to the other. It felt like a massage to her very core that no physical touch could satisfy. There was nothing better than this feeling, and for a brief second she considered taking it all in that very moment. She wouldn’t need to feed again for quite some time. 

The words that left his mouth snapped her back to reality. She opened her eyes and stared down at him. For a moment, she panicked. Was he awake? What the hell? That had never happened before. Poppy considered her own thoughts that she felt while feeding and bit her lip. The high, warm feeling in her stomach began to fall, leaving her blood buzzing through her veins as though she had just run a race while her heart sat thick in her throat. That’s the monster she pretended she wasn’t. She didn’t even know the poor guy who she just tormented and there she was considering adding a second notch onto her ledger. Fuck.

She retracted her hand slowly, knowing she shouldn’t let it idle on his head for too long. Poppy felt compelled to flee, but there were too many nurses out in the hallways for a fast walk to go unnoticed. The sun had yet to fully set, she couldn’t go intangible and leave, and even if she could the cameras would pick up a door opening and closing on its own, and- and-

Her hold on the stuffed toy in her other hand tightened and she resolved herself to take it face on. Poppy looked behind her, just to check and make sure no other nurse had crept inside while the whole ordeal was unfolding, then took a few steps back. She glided her hand down her face and combed her fingers through her hair, at least trying to make herself look as thought she was a normal human nurse just concerned for a regular patient. 

The Beekeeper was a story Anton’s late grandfather told him and the rest of his cousins whenever they had become too naughty, too rowdy, for the other grown-ups to contain, to rein in. It was a tale of warning, of fear, the title character the appropriate Boogeyman for their family’s line of work. Yet as the years went by, as Anton found himself drifting farther and farther away from his own family, the Beekeeper became more of an afterthought to him, a forgotten string of words from a bygone era, nothing more than the whispers of a past he can never go back to. That was, until he returned to White Crest.

It wasn’t like he was forced to return, however, as his former life in California wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. He had made mistakes, so many, and though he wouldn’t admit to regretting much, there were major milestones in his life that he dared wish had happened differently. Thus, the move was a welcomed respite from the dark clouds that hung over his head through the years, only to be replaced by darker ones once he arrived in this sleepy town. At the very least, he had inherited the pest control business as well as a better place of residence when that grandfather of his died.

“Am I dead?” The words slithered weakly out of Anton’s lips as his dark brown eyes wandered slowly towards the other person’s very form. Holy fuck, she’s gorgeous. It was a weird first thought, considering the nightmare he had just survived, the fall he had taken. One would assume he’d be more interested in figuring out what had happened, how he got there, yadda yadda yadda. Then again, the exterminator has survived far worse and has taken more dangerous beatings. It seemed that the gates of hell were closed to his soul yet again. “Are you an angel? I’ll go wherever you’d take me.”

It took him more effort than he was used to, but he was able to muster a warm smile, the so-called stone meant to hit two birds: the nurse, as a sign of gratitude for keeping his unconscious body company, and himself, as a distraction from the horrors that he had just escaped from. Groaning, he moved his body around, at least as much as he could, still tired and barely recovered from the fall. When he found a comfortable enough spot, a position that made the rest of him ease a little, he turned to her again, his eyes not wanting to leave her face, his smile unable to falter. There was something about her that drew him like a moth to a flame, a vision of beauty and salvation. Shame that Anton had no idea how that allusion was more dangerous than he could ever understand. 

She blinked. The more conscious he became and the more words that left his mouth, the less Poppy was able to compute what was happening right before her. Her mouth moved to form the first syllables of ‘are you crazy?’, but she stopped herself before she broke whatever illusion had overtaken the man in front of him. This was definitely… different. She was used to crying, used to screaming, even used to people waking up in anger over having vivid terrors ruin their night of sleep. Not once had she gotten a complement. If she could even call a hospitalized man spouting words a compliment.

When more than a handful of seconds of silence passed between them, she blinked and cleared her throat. “Ah... no. Not at all,” she started, rocking back on her heels, “you’re not dead. So… I am not an angel.” A soft chuckle escaped her while her head gestured to the side, trying to point out the walls and machinery of the dimly lit room in an attempt to maybe bring him out of this stupor. (Yet again, she had to hold herself back from saying anything out of turn. There was a reason she wasn’t the one who did courtesy rounds with patients). This had to be a concussion of some sort, a fairly nasty one. That thought stung a bit. Having to wonder if she had just fed from someone with a concussion worthy of putting a professional athlete out of commission was a new low. But upon closer observation, he appeared… “fine” seeing as he just fell off a roof. Well, fine in Poppy’s books. Which had considerably low standards for what humans needed to be “fine”. 

Regardless, Poppy forced herself to put on a mask of kind professionalism, looking back at him with a gentle smile though she made it a point to stare at his ear instead of into his eyes. “Don’t try to move too much- okay? You’re in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?” She lifted the stuffed animal she held and waved it a bit once it was in his line of vision. “Does this help? It seems to belong to you.”

 The smile never faltered on Anton’s lips as he continued to look her over, perhaps even seeing her for the first time. “I beg to differ.” The words slipped out without his consent, though hearing them now, he wouldn’t have even bothered to rein them back if given the chance. He didn’t believe in angels, not as much as he believed in annoying insect monsters that could kill him, that most likely killed his grandfather, but seeing her heavenly face, all that cuteness and innocence, he could definitely see himself becoming a believer.

Slowly, his dark brown eyes wandered around them at her behest, though they didn’t stray long. She had a magnetic presence over him, one he could not seem to ignore. Or at least look away from for far too long, which wasn’t really that long. A part of him feared that she was just a mirage, an illusion, and if he didn’t keep his eyes on her, she would disappear, something he hoped the man in the beekeeper suit was instead. “Oh, hey, Mister Snuffleupagus Von Der Beek!”

His instincts told him to reach out for the stuffed animal, which his body followed and regretted immediately. He didn’t even get to move an inch, his shoulder quickly punishing him for overextending them. “Fuck.” Wincing, he tried to move it around, feeling the pain, before realizing he just swore in front of a goddess. Eyes wide in horror, they found her again, and despite the brief moment of silence, he tried to cover for himself with a warm smile. “Sorry… My shoulder… Pain… You know how it is.”

Anton nodded towards the stuffed animal as he explained further. “That’s the, uhh, favorite toy of my client’s three-year-old. Some overgrown spider tried to grab it and run, but I managed to chase it away and keep the toy but, well, you know… Fall from grace.” He let out an awkward chuckle, not sure if the truth made him look any worse. Couldn’t be any worse than the exterminator who fell off a roof. “I’m Anton, by the way. Anton Grant.” He offered her a hand to shake and winced when even that small attempt made his body hurt. Fucking hell.

While he spoke, Poppy let herself trail over to the hub of machinery at the top of his bed. Her eyebrow quirked at his remark, but other than that, she forced herself not to give any other reaction. Despite the night terrors he just experienced, she could barely feel the residual traces of fear that still clung onto him. All of it had seemingly vanished when he became conscious once more. She hoped that meant that his suspicion for what had caused it was low, too. Though, based on the way he was acting, she was fairly certain there was little for her to worry about in that regard. 

She let herself relax somewhat at that thought, though jumped slightly when the man began to move, caught off guard by his sudden urge to get up. “Ah,” she started, reaching forward with her free hand before pausing, letting it hover a few inches away from him. “Your injuries aren’t horrible, but you still need to lay down. If you try to move too much you might make it worse. And that’ll make your bill worse, too.” A stern look crossed her face for a moment. One that read ‘I mean it, don’t fucking try it’.

Poppy shook her head gently and set the doll down next to his thigh, her hands coming to a rest atop the side railings of the bed. A giant spider? She thought back to his nightmare. Well, if what she had gathered from that was correct and he had experienced some kind of bizarre beekeeper who was out for blood, then the spider story should track. A quiet huff escaped her lips as the corners quirked up. “I don’t… know if I should assume that’s real or fake,” she replied, her voice low with amusement, “but if it is, then… that’s. A nice thing to do. Getting a kid’s doll back.” 

“I’m not your nurse, but… I’m Poppy,” she paused when he attempted to move once more. She used the back of her hand to gently push his down until it laid on the bed once more. “I’m serious about the no moving thing, Mr. Grant.”

Anton has had horrible and worse, numerous times, throughout not just his respective careers as an exterminator and pest hunter but also his everyday life, most of which he will always regret. Her mention of a worsened bill, however, scared him the most, and with a gulp, he resolved to heed the warning, knowing full well his finances were much scarier to deal with than a trio of beeserkers. That look on her face is pretty cute, though. 

His eyes widened in a mixture of horror and excitement as she approached his thigh, though it was immediately replaced with a relieved expression and then disappointment when the doll landed instead of what his crass mind had imagined. Although he was somewhat glad that Mr. Snuffleupagus Von Der Beek was safe and within reach, his thighs craved the touch of something else, someone else. Even in the aftermath of brutality, Anton was still but a boy, hungry for fantastical companionship.

“Oh, it’s real!” He said, almost too excitedly, dark brown eyes beaming with misguided pride. “I really fell down. You see the small rip on Mr. Snuffleupagus Von Der Beek’s right ear?” He winced as he momentarily forgot about all the pain, mostly due to his desire to impress her, and pointing at the spot, straining his arm yet again. His smile only grew wider when she complimented him, as he’s never heard an actual compliment since he came to White Crest, certainly not after he’s been paid at least.

“Poppy?” He mouthed her name over and over again after the word already slipped through his lips, her touch surprising him but in a very good way. He could feel his heart beat race again, her warmth and her scent magnified by his childlike crush. “It’s a pretty name. Perfect for a pretty girl.” He offered her his most charming of smiles, his heart beat rising when she mentioned his name. “Please. Call me Anton.” He tried to distract himself from the loud vibration inside his chest by furthering the conversation. “Is there a way I can choose you to be my nurse? Like a form I can sign or something? I’ll probably need to stay longer now. I’m so hurt, Poppy.”

A quiet hum reverberated from her lips. This definitely was not the first time a patient had acted head over heels for a nurse. And Poppy was sure it wouldn’t be the last, but at least this guy- Anton wasn’t some creepy old man. Just a concussed guy. Who thought she was pretty, it would seem. Her eyebrow raised once more and she stared at him. She’d never encountered someone who acted quite like this before. Even among the strangest of individuals who ended up in the back of the ER.

An idea popped into her head then. Oh. Hey now.  She could make use of an infatuation like this, couldn’t she? The softer voice in Poppy’s consciousness tried to remind her that this was definitely a breach of the Hippocratic oath, but she wasn’t a doctor. She wasn’t even human. Yes, she was pretty certain that oath didn’t account for creatures like her. Who was she to deny free food when presented to her?

“I assume you’ll be kept overnight for observation unless the doctor sees you now,” she said, more to herself than as a response to him. She then let a soft, long sigh leave her lips. “If I transfer to your nurse, would you quit trying to move?” Poppy glanced over to him with that same look, though it was less serious and more teasing than before. She may not have all the schooling that the RGNs had, but she had the same nursing certificate nonetheless. It probably wouldn’t even take much convincing to get whoever was actually assigned to him to let her take over. They’d probably let her take all the patients if it meant getting to sit quietly at the front desk like she did.

“Poppy, I would quit everything for you.” Anton quipped, though part of him was certain that it was true, that he’d actually risk his entire life, change everything including himself for her, for a muse that he could serve. The other part? He’s been there before, a long time ago, and it didn’t end well. He did get a cute kid out of the deal, but she was taken from him, too. Probably best for everyone involved back then. He was, after all, at a terrible place in his life. 

These days, he has most things under control. He had a stable source of income, he wasn’t too bored that he’d do less than legal things for the sheer fun of it all, then a rebellion against his family and everything else, and most importantly, he had a pretty big house all to himself. If he played his cards right, he may find a very attractive, very nurturing nurse roommate. He and the boggarts at Grant Residence.

“Where do I sign? Do I even need to sign anything?” Anton wasn’t quite well-versed with all these medical proceedings. For a long while, he’s been able to skirt out of its way, mostly with help from old acquaintances, accomplices, and his earlier almost rendezvous with death in White Crest introduced him to who both seemed like old acquaintances of his grandfather, Doctor Adams and Detective Lee, the oddest couple he’s ever met. Oh, maybe he’s here! “Oh, by the way, do you know a Doctor Adams here? Weird British guy, has glasses… I actually forgot his first name.” He chuckled, even as pain still lingered within parts of him, dark brown eyes extremely happy at the sight of Poppy.

  “Uh-huh,” Poppy drawled out slowly, her head bobbing once in some semblance of a nod. She briefly wondered if this… infatuation of his was more of a passing side-effect of his concussion rather than anything else. Even so, Anton had definitely made himself out to be an unforgettable person. 

Strange or not, a meal was a meal. “Well,” she looked out toward the door to the room for a moment, then back to him. “I’ll have to go poke my head around and see who’s assigned to your room.”  Her face pinched in concentration. “You won’t have to sign anything, don’t worry, Mr. Grant.”  At his question, her expression softened back to one of neutrality. Doctor Adams, huh? 

“Is… unless he frequents the ER here, I probably don’t. Lots of doctors in the world, you know.” She rolled her eyes half-heartedly, his words sparking a memory of self-righteous doctors that  would sometimes be called down to the ER and throw fits at the state of things. “Alright, I’ll go… run and sort this out. Do you need anything before I go?” She paused. “That, ahem, isn’t me.”

With the devotion of a high schooler suffering a huge crush on his classmate, Anton listened to her intently, a wide grin on his face. Concussion or not, at this moment in time, Poppy was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. The second best was probably waking up from that nightmarish hellscape he found himself in while unconscious, but it was probably just a one-off thing. He’s had the same nightmares before, and although they were never that intense, he did fall off a roof this time, so his brain, as much as it could while working in terrible condition, justified that as a good enough reason. 

“It’s fine. I’ll sign anything you want me to sign.” The words slithered out of his mouth without any thought, none at all. If Anton had been dragged to a network marketing scheme instead of finding his way to the hospital, he’d probably have lost all of his money as soon as he woke up. Thank god for his client, such a kind-natured soul who was probably more worried about cleaning his corpse off her lawn than his actual health. Eh, good enough for me. 

“Yeah, of course!” He laughed at what he perceived to be her quip, already forgetting his question about Doctor Adams. “What isn’t you?” Again, his subconscious tried to help him out, but Anton was presently not 100% whole. A part of him tried to make sense of what was going on, what had happened, but that part wasn’t as strong as the other part of him that catered to his sad, pathetic craving for her companionship. “I’m fine, Poppy. Not as fine as you, but I’m fine.” He grinned, even though his body was obviously not fine, not yet anyway, pain still lingering in his bones and joints. 

As soon as she leaves, however, he mutters to himself, an unnecessary assurance to his own misguided feelings, his still blurry perception of the things happening around him, all while he watched her go. “Oh, yeah. She’s definitely into me.” She was, of course, not that into him, but he needed to believe that lie. At least for now, he felt hope, not as just another lie to trick himself into carrying on but as a warm dream he can aspire to. At least for a couple of days, maybe even weeks. Anton’s romantic relationships never end well, after all.

In the days that follow.

It wasn’t every day that Poppy put a bit of effort into her appearance on a day she went to work. In fact, it was never. Except for maybe the very first week she had landed the job. The long hours and constant moving around and sweating meant that makeup was not the best of ideas. Especially at seven in the morning. But she had been planning for the specific day a certain patient was to be released.  She’d spent much of the time that Anton had been spending in hospital care thinking about what to do. Never before had anyone she’d ever fed on been so… completely unaffected by what she did to them. Not only that, but it was as if the man had been slapped by some cupid’s curse.

Whatever the case might have been, Poppy decided that it would be best to make use of it. These types of things happened for a reason, didn’t they? She told herself such while she put that bit of effort into her appearance. Her hair was pulled back nice, her eyes lined with a gentle wing of brown eyeliner, and her cheeks had a faint dusting of orange blush. Just enough to make her look like she was definitely not a nightmare demon in some human skin.

She walked down the long corridor of the hospital wing and came to a stop outside the door to Anton’s room. Poppy inhaled quietly, then knocked on the wood with the back of her hand. “Mr. Grant?” She asked, opening the door a inch to make sure he was awake, then more so once she saw him. “Good morning. I think I have something you might be interested in.” She raised her hand and waved a stack of papers for a moment. His discharge papers. Fresh and ready to be signed by the doctor.

For the entire duration of his stay, which was like just a couple of days anyway, Anton found the entire thing quite nice. Sure, he’s been having a couple of nightmares here and there, waking up more tired than he expected, but it was probably just the side effect of that fall. Besides, he finally had an excuse to take a day off, and though it probably sets BUG BUSTERS PEST CONTROL SOLUTIONS back for like a few dollars, it wasn’t that heavy of a price to pay. 

Anton could technically take a day off every now and then, but he never did, always consumed by the nagging feeling of guilt and the dread of  disappointing his already dead grandfather. So far, however, the Girl’s text messages, meant to update him on the daily goings-on at the office, were mostly boring “oks” and “someone called but i referred them elsewhere”. If he had known things would be this chill, he would’ve taken a day off a long time ago.

Aside from loafing around in his hospital bed, Anton filled much of his time and attention with the love of his life, his nurse Poppy. Thanks to his concussion, which was a weird thing to be thankful for, the exterminator believed he had finally found his muse. His past relationships all ended terribly for one reason or another, but he had high hopes Poppy would be a different case. If he only knew. 

“Poppy? Please, call me Anton.” He reminded her again, for the nth time, though he didn’t really keep count and consciously didn’t actually mind. The words just felt like the right reply for her calling her future boyfriend Mister. “Good morning!” He greeted her with as much excitement as he could muster, eager to spend another day with her, only to get deflated when his dark brown eyes found out what the papers were. 

“I’m being discharged?!” He turned to her with sadness and despair, as if he was betrayed, rejected, by the girl of his nightmares dreams. How could Poppy do this to me?! “Uhh… There must be some mistake? I still feel, uhm, bad?” Scrambling towards her, he threw off his sheets, grabbing her hands in desperation. “No, Poppy, I’m still in pain... Please. I need you… To take care of me.” He whined. Like a child.

Bingo.

Poppy rolled her eyes playfully and snorted quietly. By that point, she had grown used to Anton’s antics. For the most part, at least. “You say as much, but your doctor says something completely different. Apart from the, uh, bouts of night terrors?” She paused there, sparing a moment to look up at him with some faux-concern. Mostly faux-concern. Seeing the side effects of her noshing still twisted her stomach from time to time, but there was nothing she could really do about that in the end, was there? She still needed to eat. A gentle nudge and she wiggled her hands out of his grip.

“Aside from that, you’re back to being in perfect health.” With that, she set the folder she held down on the rolling table beside his bed. Poppy looked at him with eyes that were both teasing and pitying. “This is a normal part of being in a hospital, you know. You do have to leave at some point.” She tapped a painted nail on the top of the folder twice. 

“It isn’t like I’m going to magically disappear after you leave. I still exist, you know. Is there something I can do to ease the pain of this discharge?”

“Oh, yeah… The night terrors…” Anton simply shrugged. He didn’t really want to talk about them, afraid to unearth a childhood trauma that he may not be yet ready to come face-to-face with. As much as the Beekeeper was but a story his late grandfather used to tell his grandchildren whenever they’d misbehaved too much, the exterminator has seen and experienced otherwise, a part of him certain that there was more to the tale than he was told. With a smile, however, he eased her concern, not wanting to burden the love of his life with his inglorious fears. “Just a side effect of the fall, I think? Nothing to worry about!”

Yet he could not stave off the disappointment and sadness he felt at the idea that this was it, this was the part where they’d, well, part ways, him and Poppy, forever no more. Anton felt his heart wrench, a stinking feeling in the deepest pits of his stomach that almost sent him in a panic. This was the best he’s felt in weeks, months, and now it seems over. Back to lonely nights in his late grandfather’s massive house then. Maybe he should really put that guest room up for rent. “Do I have to?” 

There was nothing normal about him, that much he understood. Certainly, the adjective perfect was rarely used to reference Anton. Poppy was right, however: All things must come to an end, even the good ones, especially the good ones. Life is nothing else but suffering, sometimes tolerable, most of the time annoying as fuck. Still, she offered him hope, and like trout to a lure, he could not ignore it. Forlorn, his dark brown eyes wandered back to her, and he mustered a weak smile. 

“Promise? I mean, I guess it’ll be a little less painful if you, like, I don’t know, keep in touch? By, uhm, giving me your number? There’s, like, a really good restaurant at the docks. Dinner sounds like the least I can do to thank you for keeping me healthy.” 

Poppy smiled. 

She put a finger to her lips, as if to tell him not to tell anyone else. Without saying anything, she pulled a pad of sticky notes and a pen from the pockets of her scrubs. If Anton was anyone else, she would have worried that they might wonder why she precariously had such things in her pocket, but she had learned that by that point, he didn’t seem to care about much other than looking right at her. For a moment she wondered what his reaction would be if he ever figured out what she was. This little façade couldn’t go on forever- at least. For her, time had proven that everything nice would have to end at some point. Would he still be as awestruck if he knew? Or would he finally come back to his senses?

A thought popped in her head. Had she ever cared so much about what a human really thought of her? Really? 

When she glanced up and saw the genuine gleam of desperation in Anton’s eyes, Poppy decided not to worry about it. Whatever he wanted out of her, she could play along. No one else was being hurt- clearly he wasn’t as affected as other humans would have been. As she carefully wrote down the digits to her number, adding a small smiley face at the end, just for the appeal, she spoke: “As long as it doesn’t entail you chasing after some sort of gigantic bug and getting another concussion.” She peeled the note off the pad and flattened it down on the cover of the folder, the ink on the face smearing just-so. 

Poppy took a few steps back and smiled. “Another nurse will stop-by in a bit with some more for you to sign. And then you’ll be a free man once more.”

Anton nodded fervently, dark brown eyes wide in delight as they found themselves glued on the tiny piece of paper that contained Poppy’s number, that he held as tightly as he could, as if he was afraid it would vanish very soon. Committing her contact information to his memory, the exterminator couldn’t hide his triumphant joy, chuckling at her quip. It would be dishonest to not admit that he had thought about doing the same thing again, suffering the fall and the nightmares as an excuse for him to be near her once more, in the same room as the angelic face who woke him up from his nightmare. Her phone number was a safer compromise, though. 

“Thank you. Again. You have no idea how much this means to me, Poppy.” He didn’t either. Not really. Especially all things considered. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

That was the last he saw of her. At least at the time. When he was told to leave, the exterminator unfortunately couldn’t get a hold of the nurse that had a warm grip on his heart. Anton wanted to wait and see her, bid her goodbye at the very least, but she was apparently busy elsewhere and some security guard was being rude, watching him like a hawk does a mouse. With her parting gift, however, he knew it wouldn’t be long until they crossed paths again. Or at least until he’d hear her voice again. Maybe, if she was too busy to have dinner with him tonight, he would at least see her in his dreams. The thought made him smile as he finally made his way out of the hospital, breathing in the fresh air made even better by the memory of his muse.

In fields of poppy,         buzzes this little bee.

[kyber-kisses]

Calling Out (Part 2)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Find Part 1 HERE

Warnings: description of injuries, near death experience, hospitals. . . angst.

Summary: when a case goes sideways leaving the reader in the hospital, Dean, Sam, and Charlie search desperately for a way to help her. . . But time is running out.

A/n: ok so I know it’s been literal months since I wrote the first part but it was only since yesterday that inspiration finally struck! Hope you enjoy! (also all the medical stuff i just searched so if you actually know your stuff please don’t attack me.)

“Charlie, Sam- please tell me you’ve found something.”

Shoulders slumping Dean let out another sigh, halting his pacing momentarily to look over at the duo seated across the otherwise empty waiting room.

Pacing. He had been doing so much of that lately, especially ever since your monitors went crazy and all of a sudden he, (alongside Sam and Charlie) was being pushed out of your room by several nurses. Dean had tried fighting against them, not wanting to leave you in the hands of strangers. What if you woke up? What if you had no idea where you were? What if something happened and you didn’t- Dean quickly shook his head in an attempt to clear the terrible thoughts from his head. No, you were going to be fine. You were always fine. You were the strongest out of all of them.

But all he could think about was how sudden it had been. You were fine one second and the next? Your heart monitor was going insane and your chest was rising and falling in an unsteady rhythm and he thought he was watching you die. Your eyes still closed, locking you in a monster induced coma.

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt that scared.

It also didn’t help that that had all happens hours ago. Hours. Hours of pacing back and forth, back and forth until he thought his legs might fall off.

“No, sorry Dean. I’ve raked through everything we had on djinns but I can’t find anything.”

The older Winchester let out another groan before turning to the redhead next to his brother. “Charlie?” He tried, a twang of hopefulness in his voice.

“I’m still looking. If I do find something you’ll be the first person I tell.”

Running a slightly shaky hand through his hair, Dean continued his pacing. If he wasn’t careful he might wear tracks in the sandpaper like carpet.

“Dean, do you really want to be talking about the case right now?” Sam questioned, closing the book he had in front of him so he could give his brother his attention. “I mean, Y/N-“

“I literally want to talk about anything that isn’t the possibility of Y/N dying in the other room.” Dean stopped again, his voice ever so slightly cracking as he spoke.

Dean watched as Sam opened his mouth, clearly ready to speak. . But was stopped short when the massive set of doors behind him swung open, the nurse from earlier stepping out into the waiting room, clipboard in hand. It didn’t even take Dean a second before he was spinning around to give her his full attention. His heart sinking lower into his chest at the expression on her face.

“Y/N, is she-“ he couldn’t bring himself to say the word. Afraid that if he muttered it it might come true.

You weren’t dead. You weren’t.

“We’ve done what we could, but she’s stable for now.”

“What happened?” Pushing himself out of his own seat, Sam crossed the waiting room with Charlie close on his heels.

“It’s called a primary spontaneous pneumothorax. It typically happens when there is a rupture of a small air sac on the outside of the lung. This causes air to leak into the cavity around the lung.” The nurse explained, tucking her board under her arm. “ it caused a partial lung collapse but it wasn’t too sever meaning it’s possible for it to heal on its own. As of right now she only needs oxygen and rest.”

Dean was silent as he tried to comprehend what she had said. She made it seem like everything was going to be fine. . . But none of it sounded fine at all. You were still in a magically induced coma and looking like you got run over by a freight train. Now you had a partially collapsed lung to add to it all.

“Ok. . . But how did this happen? I thought she was stable?” He finally spoke, running a hand over his mouth as he tried to wrap his head around it.

“Her fractured rib was the probable cause of it, but we’re keeping a close eye on her still. Don’t you worry.” She smiled.

She fucking smiled.

Dean bit his tongue so he didn’t lash out. Don’t worry? That’s all he had been doing. That all he was going to do until you were safe and fully healed.

“You’re welcome to go back and see her.”

“Is she still-“

“Unconscious? I’m afraid so.” The nurse nodded. “We’re looking for a cause to that as well.”

“Well you’re not gonna find one.” Dean muttered softly under his breath, already turning to head towards the room you had previous been set up in. He had already been separated from you for too long.

It took everything in the hunter not to book it full speed down the mostly empty hallway towards your room, his heart thumping a staccato rhythm in his chest. He had left Charlie and Sam in the dust to collect their laptops and lore books- but he didn’t care. He needed to be near you. Watching over you. Keeping you safe from threats that doctors couldn’t handle.

When he stepped into your room he saw another nurse still at your bedside tapping at things on the monitor while glancing over at you every few seconds or so. Other than that the room was empty.

“She’s doing well all things considered.” The dark haired nurse nodded, looking over her shoulder at Dean momentarily before going back to her task. “You’re wife’s a tough one. She should pull through.”

“Oh she not my-“ he started, pushing down the sudden heat that had invaded his cheeks.

“Well anyway, she’s lucky to have someone who cares so much about her.” Backing away, the nurse gathered her things and walked out the door, passing Sam and Charlie as she did.

As the older Winchester stepped closer to the bed he felt his heart drop all over again. You looked worse than last time. Your skin was several shades paler and your cheeks were getting hollow. It didn’t help that your injuries were taking forever to heal. Sure it had only been a week since this all happened, but you looked so weak, so fragile. And those were words that should never be used to describe you.

“Dean?”

“Hmm?” Unable to tear his eyes from you, Dean only lent his ears to his brother, resuming his spot from before and slipping his hand into yours. Your pulse allowing him to let out a sigh of relief.

“Charlie and I were talking, and we thought we might try the library a few blocks away. See if they have any more lore books we can look through.”

“Yeah, yeah. You kids go have fun.” He muttered , shifting ever so slightly to wipe a strand of hair away from your eyes, being careful not to disturb the oxygen tube. One wrong move and he was afraid you might shattered like china.

“Dean, you need a break too. The nurses will watch over her.” Sam sighed, re-adjusting his belongings in his arms.

“I got one when we were stuck in that waiting room for several hours. I’m fine.”

“Sams right, Dean. You at least need to sleep-“

“Charlie, I said I’m fine.” Letting out another sigh, Dean allowed his elbows to rest on the side of your hospital bed, resting his cheek on the back of your hand. “Call me if you guys find anything.”

Drawing in a breath, Sam gave into defeat before sharing a look with the red-head. Neither of them had ever seen Dean like this and it was just another thing to add to the growing list of concerns.

“Alright, fine. Do you at least want us to pick you up some food?”

“I don’t care.” The words leaving Dean so quietly that they almost didn’t hear it.

Giving you and Dean one last look the two left the room once more, carrying most of the hope with them. Deans was fading. He didn’t want it to but he couldn’t stop it. He was afraid.

“You are not allowed do die on me, you got that?” He swallowed, already feeling a lump form in his throat. “I’ve got some really important things I need to say to you so I’m gonna need you to get better.”

Dean paused once more, contemplating whether or not to say the words bouncing around inside his head. He’d never said them out loud before. Even just thinking about it made his tongue feel like lead. . .But no one was here. No one was listening.

“You know, I didn’t want to fall in love. Not at all. Because this life, you know- you can’t afford getting close. There’s a good chance it will slip away if you do. . . But at some point you smiled, and holy shit, I blew it.” He squeezed your hand gently, praying that you would open your eyes at any second. “Maybe it was just bound it happen. I’ve known you for so long. . . Anyways I’m gonna need you to pull through because I want to say it to your face. I can’t lose you. Not now, not ever.”

Leaning back in his seat, Dean raked his freehand through his hair (a nervous tick he had picked up over the years.) watching you sadly. Sam and Charlie would find something. He knew they would.

“C’mon Y/N, you gotta wake up.”

To Be Continued. . .

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[zuffer-weird-girl]

Kai has 2 kids ? And none of them has ever tried to go to daddy and mommy room while they are doing .. the do ?! Of course it has to be kaito. A terrible nightmare. He wants comfort so goes there .hears mommy "screaming" so he just overhauld the door. Not let mommy die again (almost half awake hlalf sleeping). and kai's brain stopped for seconds *what a time to be attacked can't fight naked* and just the little man ruining everything. Kaito doesn't *fully* remember next day. Scenario pleaz

Kai is tired of Kaito not knocking on doors... baby just don't get that he need to knock on the doors! Its a polite thing to do Kaito!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the day he had been cockbloqued...

Having Kaito in his life was definitely a life changed experience and he didn't regret it at all but dear god this kid wouldn't get too much away from you and WHEN HE LET YOU TWO ALONE it didn't take more than 2 minutes for this kid to come back, demanding your presence and one hundred percent of your affection.

He wasn't a brute... but at any point he was just going to become a cave man if this kid wouldn't let him have some quality time with HIS WIFE.

He lost count of how many silent wars he had with the toddler until the current days in favor of your attention...

Now it was night time, he could get what he wanted... nope, the brat today didn't wanted to sleep apparently, proclaiming that it wasn't his bedtime yet and that he wasn't tired.

Chisaki was this close to drugging Kaito into unconsciousness so he could at least have you for a few hours. This close.

"You and daddy don't go to bed at this hour, so why should I?" The kid asked looking up at you with serious eyes but the pout already forming.

"We are going to bed Kaito, but we; since we are boring adults; have some things to take care of." You carresed his dark brow hair gently, prompting a smirk from your little boy.

"Besides." You gave him a sudden raspberry on his cheek, making him yelp with laughter "If you actually sleep, me and dad will take a day off tomorrow and just have one of those lazy days."

"I didn't said I-"

"You will." You said before stucking your tongue out mockingly before returning your attention to your other baby. You didn't notice the way those golden eyes had darkened.

Yeah, continue showing this tongue to him to see what you get...

"All the day tommorow? No boring paperwork or me having to have lessons?" The child asked, looking hopefully at his father whose was at the entrance of his bedroom.

Chisaki sighed before answering in false irritation.

"Yes, you will have a break from your lessons, but only if you obey." The kid's smirk turned into a wide smile as he thanked his father.

Kaito hugged you tightly on the neck before kissing your cheek, looking his father in the ey the whole process.

Fucking brat.

"Have seeet dreams my sweet baby." You mumbled on his forehead.

"I'm not a baby mommy!" He complained while Chisaki approached only to pet his head as a good night.

"What? I call your daddy this all the time." You notice how Chisaki muscles tensed and the glare he sended to you.

"(Y/N)..." he growled as a warning, only making you giggle while Kaito finally settled down and felt his eyes heavy as his head hitted the pillow.

Both of you tip toed carefully before checking one more time on the child, closing the door very slowly.

"Not tired huh?" You whispered mockingly as you took one more last glance at your little sleeping boy.

"That brat just is stubborn." Groaned Chisaki in relief.

Finally.

"Like his father you mean?" The only answer he gave it to you was a dark glare before scooping you up in his arms, almost making you yelp.

"Kai what the hell?!" You whisper yelled, yet your smile still evident in your face.

... until he took of his mask with one hand while he holded you firmly against him with his arm and started to attack your neck like his life depended on it.

"I swear that I love that brat but for fuck's sake I'm tired of not getting what I want." He bite down on the crook of your neck, kissing slightly as a form of apology after hearing you whisper.

"Impacient are we?" You asked breathless, but definitely excited at this point.

"Definitely." He said closing the door behind him.

~

It wasn't normal for Kaito to have nightmares but when it happened it wasn't... exactly that bad.

But today he just had this weird drean that you walked out of the house, and didn't come back... his father had simply vanished and he was alone trying to find you... with no success.

He woke up, not screaming not crying either, just sweating cold and with a discomfort on his chest.

His eyes were still clouded with sleep, so he took the chance that he was at least half awake, to go into his parents room for some comfort...

He slowly got out under the fluffy covers of his bed and slowly made his way to his mommy and daddy's room.

Although when he was getting close to it he heard... noises.

You mostly were making sounds of... pain? Was mommy in pain?

His heart started to speed up along with his steps to his parents room, the noises only increased and was the breaking point for the little five years old, whose was very worried about his mommy at this point.

Where was daddy?! Why wouldn't he go in there and check what was wrong with you on the first place?!

He barged himself on the room yelling desperately but trying to sound threating.

"MOM ARE YOU OKAY?!"

Kai, in protective mode already, covered your form quickly while shouting with a dark and terrifying voice. Even making shivers run down on your sline, specially since you were so close to him.

"AVERT YOUR EYES!"

"Wait. Daddy?"

The room went silent and Kai felt his whole face burning at hearing his five years old boy voice in the room.

And his giggling, yet embarrassed as fuck, wife wasn't helping to his blush.

"Uh..? Daddy what are you doing on top of mommy? Is she hurt or something? Why you have purple marks on your neck and her's too? What does it mean 'avert'?"

The questions just kept coming and Chisaki, when he got back to his senses, groaned out loud while burring his face in the crook of your neck.

You poked him under the covers offering his underwear while trying to stiffle your own laughter. He took it quite abruptly from your hands and discreetly put it back... cringing.

"Kaito Chisaki don't you know how to knock?" He growled while getting out of bed.

"Sorry. I heard noises and thought momma was in pain." Now it was your tine to blush "are you okay mommy?" The child asked, trying to get close to you before Chisaki picked him up with a huff.

"Your mother is fine. Go back to sleep brat." He said leaving the room while Kaito waved a little good night to you.

"...ew dad you're sweaty. Why are you sweaty like this?" Kai groaned, containing his furious crinson blush forming on his face and ears.

"I went to a night run ok? Sleep." He said while putting the already knocked out child before making his way back to his room.

When he made eye contact with you, before locking the door TWICE, you started to laugh, makingbhim even more irritaded.

"D-Did you seriously just told a five years old to 'a-avert his eyes'?! Oh my god!" You picked a pillow to muffle your quacking while your husband sended you daggers through his glare.

"I honestly don't know which one was worse, Kaito barging in the room or that one time when Mimic entered..." he groaned in embarrassment while laying down again next to you, bringing his hands to his face.

You laughed even harder at his comment, which resulted a huff of his and a painful pinch on your side before he towered over you again.

"Wait. Still wanna-?"

"I don't like leaving the things I do in half angel." Were his last words... more like growls...

Shouldn't have laughed at him...

~

Bonus:

"Kaito..." the kid looked up from his coloring book to hsi rather nervous blushing parents.

"About last night..." you started.

The kid tilted his head in confusion, stopping his actions with his colorful pencil.

"What about?"

"You barged in our room... brat." Chisaki groaned, he really didn't wanted to have this talk...

"I did?" The kid askes in pure confusion.

Your faces features relaxed for a bit before you confirmed your suspecions.

"What was the last thing you remember about last night sweetie?" The kid looked down for a minute in thought before returning his (E/C) at you.

"You and daddy's promise to have a lazy day with me if I went to bed... Why?"

"Oh thank god." Both you and your husband sighed simultaneously while plopping down in your chairs in relief while Kaito only lifted up his eyebrow at both of you.

No talking about the birds and the bees... what a relief.

[mkw-raider]

Fire Ch. 4

Summary: A study session filled with gay panic and revelations.

Chapter 4/4: With A Heart That’s Beating At The Speed Of Light, You’ve Been Waiting For This Feeling All Your Life

Pairing: Chloe/Marinette

AO3     First - Previous - Last

Chloé had never had the Bee Miraculous for long enough to settle into a routine with Pollen. Their lack of routine didn’t stop them from bonding though. She had gotten to know the little kwami in the short time they knew each other, and she did miss her, but their relationship was nothing like the relationship she had with Wayzz. 

Where Pollen had agreed and submitted to Chloé’s every whim, Wayzz expressed his disagreement. He never scolded her, even when she probably deserved it, he instead just made suggestions for things she could be doing, or tried to help her come to the conclusion on her own. Chloé was thankful for him. Even in their short time together, he had made a positive impact on her life. Thanks to him, Chloé had started trying to accept things as they come to her in life. Which is why when Mme. Bustier had paired Chloé with Marinette for a book project, she had kept her freakout internal, and accepted the arrangement with a small smile. The Chloé who felt entitled to the Bee Miraculous probably would have thrown a fit or tried to force Marinette to do everything herself, but the Chloé who was still trying to deserve the Turtle and the trust of Wayzz just sent Marinette a soft smile and accepted that they would be working together.

Ever since Chloé had been appearing on Marinette’s balcony, she had been making more of an effort to acknowledge Marinette in school. A smile here, a wave after class there, and they had been having the most positive interactions between them in years. Chloé didn’t know if the smiling had been enough to make Marinette trust that she wasn’t trying to hurt anyone and was trying to change, but it seemed like the other girl was less suspicious, and she had smiled back at Chloé a few times.

Originally she had been bummed that she had managed at least one positive conversation with everyone else in the class, including Alya which was a miracle that Chloé still couldn’t believe, except for Marinette, but Wayzz had reminded her that progress was still progress regardless of how small it felt.

Chloé rode the wave of hope all the way to her first meeting with Marinette for the project. It had been in a coffee shop between their homes. Neutral ground for them to meet on.

She had arrived half an hour early, in part to find the perfect seat, she figured something closer to the windows so the light could make Marinette’s eyes sparkle, but mostly she needed the half hour to prepare for her first actual nice conversation with Marinette in years. Wayzz had helped her make a list of things she needed to do before they could actually start on the project and they had come up with a plan that had calmed Chloé’s nerves. First she would offer to get Marinette something to drink, as well as something to eat, while she went up to order her own things, so Marinette could settle at their table and they could both have something to occupy themselves with before Chloé moved on to part two. Then, she would apologize, genuinely, for how she had treated Marinette previously and briefly explain that she would no longer behave in the cruel way she had. Wayzz had added a point of expressing that Marinette was under no obligation to forgive her, and though Chloé wanted her forgiveness and friendship, she had to admit that Wayzz was right and had kept it. After her apology, they would work on the project, dividing things in a way that worked for both of them, and working together on what they needed to. If Marinette decided she didn’t want to work with Chloé anymore after her apology, then Chloé would then proceed with part four of the plan, which had been added as a just in case, where she would invite Sabrina over to eat ice cream, cry, and work on their projects so that Chloé wouldn’t be as alone as she would feel.

All in all, it was a simple plan, but having it written on her notebook, tucked safely in her bag beside Wayzz, had made her feel infinitely more calm about the entire project. All that was left now was for Marinette to arrive, and then everything would hopefully go according to plan, bar any akuma attacks that may occur, or epic fights between old rivals.

Chloé had brought her science homework to distract her, and had one airpod in to listen to her work playlist. The other earphone was in the bag with Wayzz, as he had revealed a love of music to her, and she hadn’t wanted him to be bored while he hid in her bag. Chloé became absorbed in her homework, to the point where she hardly noticed the figure who had approached her table, until said figure had cleared their throat. Chloé startled, and found herself looking up at Marinette.

Exactly as Chloé had expected, sitting near the window had caused the natural light to make Marinette’s eyes sparkle. In hindsight, she probably should have sat facing the window as one look into Marinette’s eyes had cleared every thought from her mind, including phase one of her plan. 

Wayzz, hidden from Marinette’s view by the table, had realized his holder had frozen. Briefly poking his head outside of the bag to check for eyes, Wayzz floated himself into Chloé’s lap before lightly jabbing her in the stomach with his paw to get her to refocus herself. If the brief glance and smile he received was anything to go by, he had succeeded. Wayzz slipped back into the bag as Chloé stood.

Gesturing at the other seat, Chloé said, “Can I get you anything? I’m going up to place my order and I figured I could just grab yours while I’m up there.”

“Oh sure! If I could just get a small hot chocolate, and two chocolate chip cookies that would be awesome! I’ll pay you back for it.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be right back.” Chloé’s internal monologue had devolved to prolonged screams. She was not at all prepared for this conversation and she had decided that whatever came out of her mouth was awkward and was making Marinette uncomfortable. She had no proof for this of course, but she was losing her mind with her nerves right now, and she just needed a half hour break to scream into her pillow and remake her plan with Wayzz because she could not do this.

Upon approaching the counter, Chloé quickly went through the motions of ordering her strong blonde roast and usual lemon cake, as well as Marinette’s own order before quickly paying and stepping off to the side. Her attention fell away from the teen working the counter to drift back to the table where Marinette had begun setting up her schoolwork. The light falling on her hair made it appear lighter, and even through a window, the sun had given Marinette’s skin a shine that had Chloé enraptured. Marinette’s hair was in it’s usual style of pigtails and Chloé fell into a daydream of Marinette letting her hair free, while Chloé would run her fingers through the hair. She almost missed the barista calling her name for her order, but quickly grabbed it and rushed back to the table with Marinette.

Chloé made sure to set Marinette’s order down first, before placing hers on the table and plopping back into her seat. She had left her bag hanging on the chair and she could see Wayzz giving her a tiny thumbs up from inside.

Silence stretched between the two girls as they both finished settling into their seats, neither really knowing how to begin. Chloé fiddled with the napkin in front of her, pulling it gently as she watched Marinette raise her hot chocolate to her lips. Momentarily distracted, Chloé blinked herself back into focus, deciding she needed to rip off the bandaid. 

“I’m sorry,” she rushed out. “I’ve treated you like shit over the past few years.” Not her most elegant of starts but the script she had jotted down between classes had slipped her mind. “You didn’t deserve my behaviour, or anything that came with the dumb rivalry I started. It doesn’t matter if I was upset with my life, or jealous over the one you had, I took my feelings out on you and hurt you in the process. You don’t have to forgive me, or believe me, but I know I’ve been terrible and I’m trying to change. I would love a chance to try to be your friend, but if that’s not possible, I totally understand and we can just focus on the project. I just needed to say that first.”

Chloé was actually a little proud of herself. She had spoken fast and she felt like she had rambled a little longer than necessary, but her words had come out clear and now at least Marinette knew. Whatever happened next, Chloé would accept. Even if it was a brutal rejection and she ended up crying with Wayzz later. Chloé promised she would accept the aftermath of her apology with elegance and grace so long as there were other people around to witness her.

Marinette had paused in drinking her hot chocolate, and had listened to Chloé’s spiel with a thoughtful expression on her face. The expression hadn’t changed, but her gaze had shifted from meeting Chloé’s eyes to staring out the window when Chloé had finished. Breath stopped in her throat, Chloé could only watch Marinette’s face for a sign. A subtle movement of her eyebrow, and Chloé’s heart had stuttered, a blink that felt slower than normal and she had almost choked, the smallest of twitches in her jaw and Chloé’s fingers began tapping a nervous rhythm. There was so much to read from Marinette’s expression, but Chloé was unpracticed in her language and could not tell the difference between truth and her own created fiction. 

After what had felt like hours, but could only have been moments, Marinette finally brought her focus back to Chloé. “I believe you. I’ve seen you in school recently, apologizing and trying to be nicer to people, so I believe you’re changing. I don’t know if I can forgive you for everything right now, but I think I’d like to try being friends and see how it goes.”

“Okay.” The relief that flooded through Chloé filled her veins and calmed her immediately. Maybe Marinette would never forgive her, but they could try to be friends, and maybe someday they would be close. For Chloé, it was the best news she had heard all week.

Marinette smiled at her before shifting a notebook between them on the table. “Let’s start breaking the project apart and figuring out what we’re going to do.”

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

The coffee shop study date had gone better than Marinette had expected. She was still surprised by Chloé’s apology, but after a moment to process she felt that the other girl was genuine so she had moved on to try to work with the other girl. After only a few minutes of discussion, they had discovered they actually had similar thought processes for their project, and were mostly on the same page already. Chloé had come prepared with a list of how they could break the project into parts that would require the least interaction from both of them if Marinette hadn’t wanted to work with her, so they had used that as a basis for division of work. After creating a schedule that would work for both of them, they had settled into a routine.

They each began writing their own parts of the project, occasionally breaking to discuss ideas and how to connect the two parts together, before falling back into the comfortable silence. Chloé had bought Marinette another drink and two more snacks in the time they had been there before Marinette had convinced Chloé to let her buy the next round of snacks.

The quiet chatter of the coffee shop was the perfect background noise as they worked together. And Marinette had used Chloé’s focus on their project to slip a cookie to Tikki when she had brought back the new snacks.

All in all, Marinette had found herself genuinely enjoying the blonde’s company, though she couldn’t help but compare their current interactions to how Chloé had been when she was Khelone appearing on Marinette’s balcony. The other girl had offered an insight into fashion that Marinette had only managed to find in Adrien, and strangely, Chat Noir’s company, but the new perspective had been refreshing. Chloé had let Marinette go page by page through her book, letting Marinette explain the components of her favourite pieces, and offering thoughts to the ones that Marinette had been struggling with. Their first interaction on Marinette’s had been strange, and had ended abruptly, but every interaction since had genuinely made Marinette look forward to the next time she would see her.

When Chloé was Khelone and interacting with Ladybug, she was more serious. Her hero worship had faded with time, and now she was just a valued part of the team. They hadn’t managed to truly edge their relationship firmly into friendship territory in the months since Chloé had become a hero because Marinette always felt like Chloé was holding herself at an arm’s length from her. Despite proving herself time and time again, Marinette couldn’t help but feel that Chloé still felt the need to prove she should wield the Turtle. Marinette had almost been jealous when Chat Noir had managed to form a friendship with Khelone and she still hadn’t.

When Chloé was visiting Marinette’s balcony it was different. She still had the serious tone, and had actually been very careful about details surrounding her identity, but she was more relaxed. She would laugh more, smile brighter, and often made Marinette forget who was under the mask as they talked. It was a side of Chloé Marinette was unused to seeing, unguarded, relaxed, not afraid to do the cute snort laugh that she only used when she found something truly funny. It made Marinette miss a friendship she had briefly had with Chloé, but she still felt like there was something Chloé was holding back on the rooftop, something more than just her identity.

The Chloé that was sitting across from her was all of the parts, finally complete in one. As Chloé scribbled notes and wrote her part of their project, Marinette could see the seriousness of Hero Chloé. Every so often she would bite the end of her pen, or scrunch her eyebrows while she thought, and Marinette saw Rooftop Chloé. But above it all was the Chloé that Marinette had always known. Beautiful. Confident. But more relaxed, more open. The girl across from her seemed more content and genuine than Marinette can ever recall seeing her, and she was enthralled. 

Though she knew she should have been focusing on her own work, she couldn’t help but stare at the other girl. The more she looked, the more she saw. Logically she had known Khelone and Chloé were the same people, and she had always known that what one did, the other had technically done, but this was the first time she really got it. Chloé had changed from the girl Marinette knew. She hadn’t been paying attention before, but now that she could see it, she regretted not looking closer sooner. Chloé was different. Chloé had defended civilians in front of a coffee shop because it had been the right thing to do. Chloé had apologized. Chloé had sat on her rooftop talking with her about whatever had come to their minds when they strayed from fashion. Chloé’s mannerisms had bled into her interactions with Marinette the entire time she had been with the hero, and Marinette found that she was waiting for familiar movements she would see with Khelone.

But Chloé was the same. Her confidence was still there, though quieter. She still smirked when she was right. She smiled at Marinette when she showed off her drawings. She still caused a blooming warmth in Marinette’s chest that she could no longer pass as camaraderie with a fellow hero. The girl across from her caused the warmth, no matter what form she appeared in.

Chloé had turned to look at Marinette, a question in her eyes, and Marinette understood. Fire filled her cheeks, as her heart stuttered. There was concern in Chloé’s eyes, the same concern Khelone had when Marinette choked on a too large bite of muffin not even a week ago. It had caused Marinette to blush then, happy her rooftop company had cared enough to worry, but now it was Chloé, still just as concerned, though this time because Marinette had stopped working to stare at her, and Marinette truly understood. Her growing crush on Khelone, the sweet hero on her balcony, translated to the girl in front of her as well. She had a crush on Chloé.

Marinette bolted up in her chair before Chloé could speak, stuttering out a quick, “Bathroom!” before almost tripping multiple times as she made her way away from the table and into the bathroom. Dropping her face into her hands Marinette groaned in frustration. Of all the girls to have a crush on, it had to be her ex-rival, turned very recent friend. And she hadn’t even grabbed her purse before she had gotten up, so now she couldn’t complain about her love life to Tikki.

Taking a few minutes to compose herself, Marinette stared into the mirror. Save your crisis for later. Go out there and finish working on your project. Then go home and tell Tikki everything.

Sufficiently composed, or at least as good as she was going to get after such a revelation, Marinette exited the bathroom. Only a brief pause to stare at Chloé, and then she forced herself to carry on. No matter how this day ended, she was going to be normal, she was going to deal with her crush on Chloé in a normal way, and she was going to live a normal life and do highschool homework with her classmate like the perfectly normal girl she was. She could do this.

[nisaadventures]

I’m turning 30 in 10 days... yikes.

The last year of my life has sucked... lol. Okay, it wasn’t all bad. I’m exaggerating... but I’m also not. I know there were plenty of nice moments in the last year... but when I think about the last year of my life, its just full of so many firsts... awful firsts... 

First time celebrating their birthdays without them...

First holiday season without them... anyone else miss mom’s turkey? Most people don’t like traditional thanksgiving dinner because the turkey is more often dry... mom’s was never dry... Okay the key people.. Don’t actually cook your stuffing in the turkey. Its just going to suck all the juice life out of your bird... I mean come on. Trick #1 stuff the turkey with fresh cut oranges and yes, you can leave the skin on... #2 do majority of the oven time in an oven bag to keep the moisture in. #3 cook breasts down. Its the part thats usually most dry, so duh... keep it in the juicy, buttery goodness of the pan. I never made the entire meal, I usually just helped mom with everything. These are just some things I’ve taken away in my observations. 

Halloween trip to Disneyland without them... Disney is always a good time, but I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t feel heavy in some way... and that is saying something because Disneyland is my happy place lol. 

Looking forward to 2020... Hoping that it had so much better in store for us. 

Dear lord... what a joke. 

Going to Hawaii for our “family trip” without them...

A pandemic without them... I mean yes, I’m thankful they aren’t out there with COVID on the rise... I’m glad they’re not stuck at home because COVID. Mom and Michael are both too much of busy bees to be cooped up in the house for too long. 

Not going to lie... picking up where they left has been hard. All of moms plants... The dogs.. Taking care of the backyard, where Michael usually would. Mom would definitely do too much at once. She’d be out in the yard planting something and pulling out something else in her damn UGG boots! wth mom?! Those are expensive! lol. “Oh its fine.. I’ll wash them.” Omg lol. Either that, or she’d be over here trying to move heavy a$$ pots by herself and I’d have to stop her before she hurt her back. Ayiyi. 

Keanu and Aria’s birthdays without them... seeing my babies sad and missing their grandma, grandpa, and aunties has been hard. It will be out of nowhere sometimes... and all the nights of Aria waking up in the middle of the night crying. I feel you baby girl... I get it. I miss them too... Its okay to be sad... Mantras... 

You were her little rays of sunshine. Grandpa and grandma loved you SOOOO much. 

Mom would babysit the kids on Saturday mornings, while Kuya, Vaness, and I went to workout. They’d go get breakfast, pancakes and eggs, at UJs. She’d take them to Target, the dollar store, Walmart, etc. just so they could look and maybe get something to play with together. She always crafted with them. 

Living in this house... especially with COVID... has been hard. I miss just sitting at the dinner table, eating sho mi, and talking about work. Mom and Michael getting all worked up over some crazy manager, or something going down with the union.. yup, that’s where I get it from... advocacy and leadership skills FTW.  One thing they could always talk about for HOURS was work lol. 

I remember when I was a little girl, Mom would let me play in the bathtub until I was all wrinkled. She would let me bring all my toys into the tub. At one point I even had a care bear doll that she, for some reason, let me take in the bath lol. She’d throw it in the dryer for me after I was done. 

I remember going to the grocery store with mom and leaving with two full a$$ grocery carts because we had a full house at all times. I mean it was Kuya, my cousin Jojo, my brother Derric, my cousin John, Bubba, my cousin Jay, me and whoever else was over the house lol. When Kuya was in high school, it was all of his buddies partying at our house and crashing on the floor in the living room, dining room, and all the couches. She was the #1 host for sure.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat yet?” 

Thats love. 

All of Kuya’s high school friends called her Mom. My friends called her Mama Fern. She loved that. 

I remember playing hide n go seek in the dark in our tiny town house.. Later in the bigger house on Glenbriar... where mom actually tripped and broke her arm... But she laughed so hard she peed her pants, so she was a good sport? lol. Needless to say, we sort of stopped playing after that.

I remember making dim sum with mom for the first time. Such a hot mess, flour and food everywhere, but so fun. We definitely didn’t do that again until there were more adults around to help lol. Mom knew how to run through a kitchen like a tornado. Hot mess! but the best cook. 

Mom was always careful. She always wanted to make sure we were safe, that I was safe. I couldn’t go outside unless one of the boys was with me. When I would swim she would get nervous, even though I learned how to swim at a young age thanks to Kuya. One day, we were having a bbq, lots of family over, I was playing in the jacuzzi (drawing on the wall of the jacuzzi with a piece of chlorine... don’t play with chemicals kids lol) and she thought I was drowning? So she jumps her a$$ in there fully clothed and yanks my a$$ out. I was shocked as hell, so I naturally started crying hella hard and complaining about the fact that she scratched me when she yanked me up out of the water lol.

Keep in mind that that was not the first time one of the twins jumped into the pool fully clothed to “save” someone hahaha. 

 Speaking of fully clothed in the pool... The time auntie tripped and fell slo-mo style (that questionable, are you going to catch your balance, speed) into the pool LOL. Mom was dead laughing at her. Most hilarious video. 

Those twins lol. 

Jeeze.. speaking of the twins. They had this crazy connection. Tell me why when mom got sick with suspected viral meningitis and had to be hospitalized... Auntie straight up followed her right into the ICU with viral meningitis... 

Who remembers their 50th birthday? Talk about doing it BIG. So much fun. All the performances. Lani was there... KMA performances and kuya and John getting down for Maglalatik. Who doesn’t like seeing some half naked, buff dudes, bang coconuts together? haha. The twins getting down with their hula performance. Cute!

I remember when Mom and pops were going through their divorce and she would text me after midnight. I was going to Sac State and of course I was team NO sleep at the time. I would be in the AIRC studying. I’d comfort as best as I could from a distance... and then come home on weekends to be there with her when I could. 

She found her footing again. Started going to the gym with Kuya more... Started running all the time... all of her half marathons and finally she did the Nike Women’s Marathon. 

Hiking Half Dome with her. What.a.badass. 

That is really how I see her. She was so badass. When she was my age she had my 9 year old Kuya and I was on the way... She was working and supporting us and then eventually decided to make a better life for us, and went back to school... NURSING SCHOOL. wth. I can’t even imagine doing that right now, but reminding myself of where she has been and how much she PUT IN WORK... That keeps me grounded in the fact that we are responsible for our lives. If you want something, you have to work for it. You can’t just hope for better... you make better happen. 

I guess its that reminder... her strength... her and Michael’s love and hard work... That keeps me going. 

Being mindful... being thankful... acknowledging my own strength... 

But with that said... August has been increasingly hard. I don’t like to think about my birthday. I don’t even want to plan anything. They’re not here... I can’t celebrate with all my loved ones and friends. Thank you COVID... 

We’re just getting closer and closer to the anniversary? Nah.. lets not call it that... anniversary sounds like something nice... something to celebrate... This is NOT that. The day your loved ones are taken is not something to celebrate... I mean honestly, if I had to pinpoint the worst day of my life, that was it.... When I think about that day I can’t breathe. Terrible memories... so many sleepless nights. I’ve come so far. Its still hard, but I’ve come a long way. 

Anyway... this post is sort of random and nostalgic. Things I hold onto. Things that make me happy cry... Things that weigh heavy on my heart. 

Here’s my playlist for grief... reminders of them... collected over the last year:

Aloha for now -Kaleo Vai & Passion 

One day at a time -Jennifer Chung

In the end - Gabe Bondoc, Melissa Polinar, Passion

Round and around -Kolohe Kai

Fade Away -Rebelution

Alive -The Green

New Day -Kimie’

Angels above me -Stick Figure

Memories -Maroon 5

Wish you pain -Andy Grammer

100 -Katchafire

Everyday life -Coldplay

Out of the darkness -Isla vista worship, Bre Reed

Amen -Andra Day

Grateful -13 Crowns feat. Poo Bear

Rainbow Connection -Gwen Stefani

Be okay -ZOE worship 

With you -Eryn Allen Kane

Dont worry -Mesto feat. Aloe Blacc

Just livin’ -Sensi trails, Kbong

Remember me -Miguel, Natalia Lafourcade

Even more -Major

Let it be -Xav A.

Give Thanks -Iya terra, Stick figure

Mr. Sun -Sammy Johnson

Rest easy -Thrive, Nico of Tribal Theory

Sunny Days- Allen Stone

Today’s a new day -Common Kings

Mother’s Love -Jonah Jaxon, Micah G

The bones -Maren Morris, Hozier

Give you blue -Allen Stone

And we remain -Johnnyswim

Yellow -Kina Grannis

Streetcar -Daniel Caesar

Meant to be -Bebe Rexha, Florida georgia line

All you need to know -Gryffin, slander, Calle Lehmann

Like I’m gonna lose you -Jasmine Thompson

[24hs]

the bee’s guts

summary: She was back at her parents’ house, but it felt like she had left home.

or

A pathological liar and someone pathologically fixated on brutal honesty.

pairings: nicomaki

words: 2000+

warnings: a little bit of everything if were being honest but only mentions

also readable here

As the day shifts into night, her thoughts become more incoherent as the light fades.

As the day shifts into night, her thoughts become more incoherent as the light fades.

It has been like this… for how long, exactly? Hours or years, she couldn’t tell. She had to find out that vodka makes her sleepy, while whiskey leaves a comfortable burning sensation in her throat. An ambitious mixture of both works best to break out from the night and get to saving daylight quickly.

She doesn’t always fight them. Sometimes, the weakness is stronger.

(Nico would call it strength, maybe bravery. Nico used to be very hung up on being brave and being honest and being soft.)

Maki’s fingers act before her brain can think. At first hesitant – as if that was to undo her rotten intentions -, then quick, she can’t ever go back, she lights up match for match. Lets them fall onto the ground, carefully holds them onto curtains until she sees the chaos in her mind on her fingertips.

She doesn’t leave the room she spent most of her childhood until she’s forcefully dragged out of it. The noise outside finds a way into her head like a parasite, buzzing loudly and pressing violently against the inside of her skull. They’re yelling at her. For what she has done or for who she is, she doesn’t know. It doesn’t matter. She only cares a little bit.

As she refuses to make any movement to save herself from the inferno she created, the people around her grab her arms and pull at her like a doll. Apparently, they do not care if she gets a few bruises as long as she gets out alive. She wonders, what’s the point? If they revive her with stitches and she turns out to be a sheer mask of her old self, patched up and heavily made-up in order to hide what she truly is.

Is that better than dying true to yourself?

They get her out of the room that was once, very briefly, home. As they pass the burning photos on melting walls ; photos of her on her birthdays, with her parents, on events and galas ; her ceramic smile becoming more and more fragile ; her lips turn into a snarl. She stills grins as they’re hauling her out of the burning, yet so cold, cold room.

 “The doctors said you’re fine”, her father spits. “Why are you acting up again? Don’t you ever think about your parents?”

Maki doesn’t answer. (She thinks her doctors are liars, possibly simple suck-ups, both intimidated and intrigued by her parents’ disgusting wealth. She also thinks her genuine thoughts wouldn’t be appreciated right now. Not that they once were.) Instead of giving in, she takes a bite of the steak the cooks have prepared for their dinner. It tastes bland.

“What happened to you?”, her mother cries out. “You used to be our perfect girl. Now, you’re- you’re-“

“We can’t go anywhere without people mocking us!” Her father now yells; she idly watches the vein on his throat throbbing as his voice becomes louder. “Laughing about us because our insane, fucked in the head daughter-“

Ironically enough, this is the trigger for her to think about Nico. Maybe because Nico had always protected her whenever someone called her that. Cussed at them, using names so obscene and rough it made Maki almost feel sane. They never bothered her again. Not with Nico next to her, anyway.

“But you do know that I am, right?”, Maki once told her. “Fucked in the head, I mean. they’re not wrong.” She had become cold at the phrase, had even started to believe it. Accepted it with a shrug. If everyone was like her, the world would be at a very different place.

Nico just glared at her. “I’ve seen crazy people, Nishikino. You’re certainly not one of them.” Then, a little bit quieter ; Maki to this day isn’t sure she was supposed to hear it, “you just need to be loved genuinely.”

She patiently waits for her parents to suffocate on their words as she chews on her just as dull salad. Eventually, they’re stopping themselves from shouting and there’s just the clock ticking as they silently take their meals. Her mother on the verge of tears, her father emotionless like a statue.

Maki has always felt much more adequate in her parents’ presence when they’re being themselves. She feels like she fits right in.

 Of course, they wanted her to talk about her family in the psychiatry. All issues one has with oneself root from one’s parents, they diligently told her, many times, as if they were reading the phrase from a book. Knowing her own parents, Maki can’t say she’s very surprised. She refused to talk about them, though.

Nico always wanted her to.

“Why should I talk?”, Maki complained one time. “It won’t make me feel better.”

“It really won’t”, Nico laughed. Maki scoffed at her.

“You won’t even lie to make me feel better?”

Nico glared at her. “Fuck you think I am? No, I won’t lie to you. Duh.”

Maki defensively put her arms in front of her chest. They hadn’t been roommates for too long at that point ; they still had to work their way around each other, see what makes the other person click. Maki sometimes wondered whether the administration or whoever does dorms in psychiatry stuck the two of them together for laughs. A pathological liar and someone pathologically fixated on brutal honesty.

“But”, Nico looked at her with a stern look that sent a shiver down Maki’s spine, “sometimes you have to hurt to heal. Burning everything to ashes and then rising from it. You know?”

Her heart still speeds up at the thought of literally burning down her own walls, making her both anxious and relieved. Oh, if Nico could’ve seen all the hurting she’d done today.

 She sits in front of a blank piece of paper. It used to a notebook, but that was far too ambitious. Small steps, Maki tells herself, even though she doesn’t put much trust in her own capabilities in forming words.

Clicking the ballpoint pen rapidly she struggles to get her thoughts on paper.

She tries, I’m sorry. Crosses that, then decides it was a good starter to begin with - it’s simple and it’s honest and Nico would appreciate that - and writes it down again.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry

I’m s

I

I’m so

S

Maki’s hand shakes so much she has to put down her pen. Fuck.

She takes her phone. Its old, probably doesn’t even have access to the internet (a desperate yet unfortunately successful attempt by her parents to cut her off from the world), but it suffices for an apology.

“Hi”, she speaks into her phone, “this is Maki. Um, I don’t know how this works, really. I’ve never done this.”

But you deserve this so much.

“So… I’m sorry. For hurting you, and for lying. Knowing you, you probably care about the lie more than your feelings-“

I care about you more than anything else.

“But, um… I’m sorry. Really sorry.” She takes a deep breath. “Bye, Nico.”

Long after the phone has stopped recording, she mumbles three words. They may be the most honest thing she’s ever said.

 Therapy sucked. It was never spoken out-loud, but everyone knew she was the girl her parents sent to the psychiatry to fix her up. To make her shut up, to twist her into something she truly, genuinely is not. A doll, a puppet, with a never-ending smile and a dead heart.

Even in fucking psychiatry she was an outsider.

The other girls didn’t like her, either. Even though Nico and she shared a room, there had been dorm activities, group therapy, and the game Sundays. They liked to talk about her in a volume Maki could overhear just well, bumped into her when they crossed paths. Threw her clothes into a ditch. Called her brat, spoiled. Again, fucked in the head. (This one became a favorite as soon as they noticed it shook her up the most.)

Nico got mad whenever she notices someone going against Maki. Maki didn’t need the protection, not really, she didn’t care if she got hurt. Not until Nico cared. Nico took care of her in such a soft way Maki started to look after herself, too.

It was horrifying to wake up and to suddenly care whether you survive the day or not.

 Maybe – just maybe – she pushed Nico away in order to preserve herself, the only version she had ever known.

Maybe – and this one is far more likely, if she’s being honest – she’s afraid of change out of all things?

 The day she eventually put the puzzle pieces together was the day her thoughts became irreversibly tangled, much more than before. Drowning in white noise, suffocated by her own heavy thoughts, she made the decision to finally take Nico’s advice.

She was so sure she would get sent back to the psychiatry and get to see her again, now that her parents had an actual reason to. Setting her house on fire, almost killing herself in the process, for fuck’s sake, would surely get her to see Nico again, right?

She waits and waits and gets more and more anxious, because – the longer she waits, the higher the chance Nico has been discharged. She feels slightly selfish for wanting Nico to stay there; but she wouldn’t know where else to find her.

Maki still has an apology to make.

She still has to undo her worst mistake.

 Sometimes, the nightmares seem to overwhelm her. It’s always the same one (as if her own mind wanted to mock her terribly, and, knowing herself, that is probably the main reason). Maki always ends up waking up, face grotesquely distorted in an empty scream, a helpless attempt in trying to save herself from the fire that seems so real. It’s always eating her alive, leaving the rest of the room untouched.

When she’s awake, the fire can’t hurt her; all the pain in the world couldn’t compare to what happens behind her eye sockets when she thinks about turning her life around.

Her situation is unfortunate (it sucks so fucking much), but it’s a constant. Its steadily painful. Who knows where she would end up if she dared to leave?

Nico had wanted her to run away. The both of them to run away, actually. She had started to state these plans around the same time they began to be closer. Maki enjoyed Nico’s touches, her warm lips on her hands, her neck, her collarbones.

 Maki isn’t dumb. Neither is she emotionally unintelligent. She noticed the way Nico’s eyes lit up when she entered a room. She could tell by the way Nico became more gently towards her and hold her hand until she fell asleep.

But Maki isn’t kind, either.

When Nico eventually confessed her feelings to her – in just the way Nico is, fuck, Maki’s heart still clenches whenever she thinks about it – in just a simple sentence, “I think I fell in love with you”… well, she surely didn’t expect Maki to laugh in her face.

“That would be funny, wouldn’t it? The failure and her lover. God, I can already see my parents’ faces.”

Nico’s face turns into a grimace. “You don’t have to be a failure, Maki. You know that.”

“We don’t have a choice!”, Maki suddenly snaps, angry all of a sudden, she doesn’t know why ; the thought of Nico liking her out of all people, Nico choosing a miserable ending makes her so endlessly mad, “We can’t just leave!”

“Why not?”, Nico yells back, now standing up. She doesn’t reach Maki’s eye level, but the burning frustration seems to make her taller. “Why not, Maki?”

“Do you really think any of us could make it?”, Maki spits, “Leave this behind us?”

Nico stares at her in disbelief as if she never saw her before. The sight leaves Maki devastated, but she can’t stop.

“That’s it, then?”, Nico calmly says, eyes cold but hands shaking so slightly Maki doesn’t catch it.

“Its never been something to begin with”, Maki hears herself sneer.

Liar.

Look at what you’ve done to yourself.

She doesn’t know how Nico managed to do it, but she was paired up with another girl the following day. It was the same room, but it felt a lot less like home without Nico greeting her when she came from sessions, Nico making her hot chocolate when she couldn’t sleep, Nico crawling under her sheets when Maki was shaking from nightmares.

At some point, her parents decided to discharge her. She remembers eavesdropping a conversation her therapist had with her parents, heatedly trying to tell them that Maki was nowhere near being healthy. Unsurprisingly, her parents didn’t want to hear that. An important event was coming up and they needed their only daughter as an accessory.

She was back at her parents’ house, but it felt like she had left home.

 And then, eventually – the cleansing. The fire.

The determination to see Nico again, paired with fear that ate her alive.

The nightmares.

 One day – could it be any different? Feels like destiny spit in her face -, she sees Nico. She rubs her eyes, tells herself it’s a hallucination, because, Nico can’t just be walking down the street.

But there she is. Her hair in those pigtails Maki likes so much (she would never admit that to her), a black eye embellishing her face (whomever did that to her, Maki wants to fight), staring at her phone. She must have gotten lost; in fact, its so weird seeing her Nico in the stuck-up, snobby neighborhood full of empty mansions, Maki can’t help but stare at her until her heart gets teary from the exposure.

Maki runs from her room, escapes the stairs and finally reaches the doorknob. Her heartbeat beats in her fingertips and she runs and runs and runs and –

She stops when Nico turns around.

“Nishikino”, Nico says, with a loop-sided smile, and Maki needed to hear her voice so badly she can actually feel her knees getting weak. “You left, huh?”

“My parents took me back”, Maki answers, a bit out of breath. She realizes she said the wrong thing when Nico snorts.

“Figured”, Nico lifts her hand in a casual wave, “bye, then.”

“Wait!”

Nico stops in her motions and raises one eyebrow, the one above her black eye. Maki scolds herself for not taking her phone with her ; then again, Nico would think of her as a coward if she just played the record instead of just saying it.

“I’m sorry”, she eventually says. Poison through her veins. There’s a flash of hurt in Nico’s eyes.

“Here I thought you couldn’t get any worse, now you want to make fun of me, too?”, Nico quietly asks, anger shaking in her voice. Usually, when one of them gets angry, it sparks a fire in the other one, too ; they always used to burn each other up ; but now, all Maki feels is numbness.

“I’m sorry”, Maki says through gritted teeth. Wants it to keep repeating like a broken record, wants it to beat into Nico’s head to make her realize she needs the guilt to be gone.

“That doesn’t make it better”, Nico tells her, almost regretfully.

Maki has too many thoughts she wants to get out, out, out, but as hard as she tries, she can’t.

Don’t leave, she desperately needs to say. Don’t leave me alone with my thoughts, don’t go-

Instead, she stays silent with the demons in her head.

“You won”, Nico plainly says. Maki’s guts turn themselves inside out at the sight of the empty grin Nico gives her. “You lost it, but you won, right?”

Did she really win?

Patched up heart on her sleeve and crocodile tears on her cheeks, burning more than ever.

 At last, we cannot escape from who we really are.

[akiyamapining]

I HAVE A THOUGHT

Okay I’m like, exhausted. Haven’t really slept in like, four days. I’m at the point where I just KNOW I’m tired but I just don’t FEEL tired and I’ve been thinkin. Hear me out, it’s probably impossible. I blame my tired brain.

Luffy's Gear Second speeds up his blood, which in turn speeds up his body, he's tecchnically moving at speeds faster than much of the world around him with no mental jetlag, and only few physical repercussions (it strainss his heart, I don't care if he's made of rubber, that shit is dangerous!!). But like, hear me out, I might just be really tired and coming up with stupid shit, but like, if Luffy Awakens his Devil Fruit, if at all possible for him, what if it's just like activating Gear Two.

But instead of just gaining a speed boost, ot allows him to go so fast he travels through time??? Or gains an ability akin to the Instant Transmission technique from Dragon Ball Z???

Really, logic does NOT apply to Luffy, at all. He has gone into situations that have the odds SO stacked against him it’s not funny, but usually comes out on top! He’s a favorite of Lady Luck, has almost died like… 15 times, was fucking TORTURED as a child by a nasty, rotten pirate who didn’t care what he did because obviouSLY THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS, was RESCUED from CERTAIN DEATH by his CHILL FOSTER DAD™(Shanks), has managed to turn ENEMIES into ALLIES, not once but like DOZENS of times, rose to infamy in like… threeeeeeish months, survived his abusive freak of a grandfather (I love Garp, I really do, but that is NOT how you show love, and that is NOT how you treat a child. HE NEARLY KILLED LUFFY OVER A DOZEN TIMES USING THE EXCUSE OF “Training him to be an upstanding marine”! If anything, I think that Garp made Luffy begin to doubt becoming a marine, thought about it with a simple “I’ll have to listen to commands, and it’s a robbery of freedom”, but wasn’t about to abandon the option, because he still loved his grandpa and wanted to make him proud. Shanks and his stories of his grand adventures as a pirate merely allowed Luffy to harbor and grow that doubt into a hard-as-diamond belief.), stopped the civil war in Alabasta because WOW VIVI IS DISTRESSED LET’S NOT, broke into Impel Down, got terribly poisoned, was given the option to be cured but the cure was ALMOST just as deadly as the poison itself, went through TERRIBLE pain, and came out VICTORIOUS, albeit in technical terms ten years older (not physically, he lost ten years doing that. In my standards, he aged up ten years in bodily health. It won’t catch up with him til later in his life though, I bet), and survived getting the flesh on his chest, his RUBBER FLESH (ugh, that must have been horrible to see, and smell), melted off because he had been lucky enough to have caught the interest of supernova-at-the-time, Trafalgar Law.

With all of that in our minds, I wouldn’t doubt that Lady Luck would grant his Awakened Devil Fruit the ability to travel through time, or basically teleport.

Because come on.

He’d literally be stretching time and space.

’~’

I admit, he’d, at first, almost do something stupid. With time travel, he’d go back and try to prevent so much bad shit that’d happened to him without thinking of the consequences, as always, and he would end up DRASTICALLY changing things.

For example: he would go back to prevent, let’s say, the events of Marineford. Whitebeard would still be alive, Ace would still be alive, so much DEATH would have been avoided, and Teach would target Luffy and his crew in an attempt to become shichibukai. The vile man had seen Luffy’s wanted poster and decided to target him, and then full out admitted this to Ace at Banaro, and Ace definitely was NOT going to have that! I memorized their conversation as evidence because people like to sass me with a classic “YOU HAVE NO PROOF!”:

“First, I’ll go to Water Seven from here to kill Strawhat Luffy and hand him over to the government!”

“Luffy…!? What did you say…!? ”

“Oh? You know him?”

“I won’t let you lay a finger on him. He’s my little brother! ”

’~’

Luffy preventing Ace from being taken to Impel Down in the first place, which means preventing Ace from continuing to hunt Teach by, maybe, telling Ace about the Yami Yami no Mi and it’s abilities, and, if he manages it because coME ON, he can’t to save his life, lie about how he knows this, which would either drive Ace back towards Whitebeard in an attempt to prepare for such a battle, maybe even train more, or wouldn’t prevent Ace’s action against Teach, but would cause him to take the fight MUCH more seriously from the get go with the newfound knowledge. Going with the latter route, Ace taking the fight seriously from the start, if Ace seems too powerful to Teach, he’d do everything in his ability to flee the battle, as the man has always been a coward, and was never a carrier of The Will of D, despite being Marshall D. Teach. I don’t doubt that Teach would somehow escape Ace’s fury and flee Banaro, deciding against his thought of turning in Ace instead of Strawhat. He would hide out with his crew, or what may be left, for a lil less than a month. Lay low. No destruction, no killing, nothing from the Blackbeard Pirates. They would fall off the grid. Ace, having lost the man’s trail, would either continue roaming for any leads, or retreat back towards Whitebeard with his newfound knowledge of the man’s abilities, because he has SOMETHING on the man now, and his crew should know.

Teach would then head towards Sabaody and Fishman Island to have a run in with the Strawhats. They wouldn’t win that battle, and Luffy, plus his crewmates if they knew, would then be given to the government, and, knowing Luffy’s heritage, they’d rush to execute him almost as fast as they had with Ace. The papers would be full of excitement over it.

“SON OF REVOLUTIONARY DRAGON TO BE EXECUTED IN A MONTH!” the paper would scream, alerting everyone Luffy had managed to save or befriend, in one way or another. Shanks, Dorry, Brogy, Whitebeard (if Ace found out and lost his shit. He would try to leave, to rescue his baby brother, who doesn’t deserve to be executed. He would be held back, kicking, screaming, and crying out that Luffy was his first light in the dark, that he needs to save his little, adorable brother, that he’d always hate himself more than he has if he lets Luffy die. I feel that it would hurt Whitebeard and the others on the ship to see someone who was usually smiling and cracking jokes and being a nasty little brat on some days, and just an all around JOY to be around, be so… lost, and broken, and just a WRECK. They’d go and help save Luffy, I think. Whitebeard knows the importance of family, knows that Luffy means the WORLD to Ace, who was so, so PROUD when Luffy’s first bounty came out, and any brother of Ace was a son of his, and no one would be executing one of his sons when he could do anything about it.), two Yonkos and two giants.

The marines had been dreading in the original timeline that Shanks would join in the fighting when he arrived 15 minutes late to the war with a latte, imagine their horror as Whitebeard and Shanks join forces to save a simple, small boy made of rubber, who's grin and energy touched the hearts of practically millions on both the East Blue and the Grand Line.

But, the whole thing would be a plot by the marines to draw out Dragon, to catch him trying to rescue his son. But, the Revolutionaries, they are one big WILD CARD! I haven’t gotten enough about Dragon himself to even begin to THINK that be would mobilize forces to save Luffy. But, he did rescue Luffy at Loguetown, remember that. I bet he would be so so PROUD of Luffy, who was causing the World Government so much CHAOS, doing just what he had been doing, but instead of planning, like Dragon, he just went and did it. And if anything, the sudden headline would spark SOMETHING in the amnesiac that is Sabo, a deep-seated terror that he doesn’t know the origins of, or maybe it would knock him into a wave of soul crushing horror as memories of a small, bright little boy came crashing into him like a tsunami, he would drop the paper in horror, he never knew that Dragon was Luffy’s FUCKING FATHER, he would rush to Dragon about it, and if the man would do nothing, Sabo would become enraged. What a horrible father, what a SNAKE! He would beg, plead, do anything to get this man to save his FUCKING SON! And if Dragon was going to act, he would assign Sabo and a select group to infiltrate Impel Down to save Luffy, only to have barely missed him, yet they would be able to break out Luffy’s crew, if they had been captured when trying to help Luffy. Anyone can elaborate on what happens after this, I’m moving on.

If Ace had retreated to Whitebeard instead of going to Banaro to confront Teach, the man would have, more than likely, destroyed Banaro and would make his way to Water Seven. I estimate that he’d make it there after the events of Enies Lobby, unaware of the dramatic uppage in bounty that would follow. Aqua Lagoona had just passed, he’d just miss the Strawhats leaving the large city, but he would see the newly built Thousand Sunny flying as quick as a bee out towards the ocean, and he would follow. They’d go through some bastardized game of cat and mouse, I doubt Teach would even TRY confronting the Strawhats so close to Thriller Bark. So he’d wait until the fog lifted, like an idiot, because he probably doesn’t know the fog won’t lift. But, and correct me if I’m wrong, the fog DOES lift after Moria is defeated. He follows Luffy to Sabaody, where he confronts the Strawhat crew, and from here I believe the events mentioned in the last path would come to pass.

’~’

That was an example of what his meddling with time could lead to. Robin, of course, would stop him from doing it. She understands the risks of time travel, she’s read many books after all. Not only would she warn him to never use his power unless it was his ONLY CHOICE, she’d have him PROMISE!! And Luffy never breaks a promise, at least, not to my knowledge. It would be a great way to reset if he loses too much. And that means if he loses his crew, and he doesn’t feel he can go on without them.

Honestly, I find Luffy’s Gears facinating. Gear Two is advanced speed, Gear Three is damage spread across a large distance, and Gear Four is a mix of both. Truly interesting, the things Luffy has come up with for attacks and abilities when it comes to his own body. Which is why I’m instantly appealed by a Luffy moving so fast that he stretches time and space to the point of time travel, or teleportation.

And honestly, I kinda wanna see what other people have to think about my lil (understatement) rant here.

This has been your friendly neighborhood crow, signing out so I can attempt to sleep.

[ellana-ravenwood]

Odd Socks - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : Sometimes, Bruce likes to think about all the things he loves about you, just as a reminder that you’re the best thing that ever happened to him.

I hope this silly and short fic will cheer you up. If it doesn’t, sorry, I tried. I just felt suddenly inspired, while I’m in the doctor’s waiting room, and so wrote this...Wrote it on my phone, sorry if there’s any terrible mistakes. Anyway, here : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

There was things Bruce loved about you. A lot of things. 

Whenever he felt sad, a bit under the weather, or if you two got into an argument...He would make a list of said things, often forgetting three quarters of all the reasons why he fell in love with you, all the reasons why, even after years of marriage, he was still head over heels for you, crazy about you and everything you did (even annoying him). Because, there really was A LOT of things he loved about you, listing them all in one sitting was impossible. 

Yes, Bruce Wayne really enjoyed making lists about why you were so awesome, it often helped him cope with things (a boring meeting at Wayne Enterprise : list. Kidnapped by a villain and trying to resist torture : the thought of you, and the list would help him go through it). 

And today, as you were lying on a hospital bed, hooked to machines that helped you breathe, he definitely needed to make a list...However, for the first time since he fell for you, it wasn’t really helping. On the contrary, slowly, as he was looking at your broken body on the bed, cursing the man who didn’t check his blind spot well enough and who cut you off while you were riding your motorcycle full speed on the freeway, he felt like this list was going to be the end of him...Because, if he lost all of those things he loved so much about you, how could he go on ? And yet, he kept listing it in his head, even though the thought of losing them, losing you, was unbearable. 

1. He loves the way you always wear odd socks. 

The first time he noticed, it was in your apartment, at the beginning of your relationship, as you were both chilling together on your couch. You had one red sock, and a black one. 

The second time he noticed, he was tearing your clothes off and throwing you on his bed. You had one green sock, and a striped grey/blue one. 

The third time he noticed, it was at the Manor. Alfred had just clean the entire house, and ordered every guests to take their shoes off...It was during a party Bruce was throwing, and it was very funny to see the richest people in Gotham take their shoes off, impressed and intimidated by Bruce Wayne’s butler. Most women were bare feet, as they had heels on, and others just had normal socks on. And then there were you, a yellow and black striped sock, like a bee, and a sock with little platypus on it. Very classy. 

The fourth time he noticed, he asked you about it, and your answer made him chuckle : 

-Life’s too short for matching socks. Like, I have better things to do alright ? 

-...You’ve been binge watching Friends for the past three hours. 

-Exactly my point.

The smile you gave him at that moment made him melt, and he hasn’t been able to stop himself from kissing you passionately. Oh damn he loved you, you and your odd socks. 

2. He loves the way you never let anyone walk on your feet, not even him.

The first time he met you was at a charity event you had organized. Someone was giving you grief about something stupid (like the champagne not being good enough or something like that), and you were having none of it. You didn’t care how rich that woman was, you didn’t care if she wrote a big check. And when you told her that “respect is earned, not owned”, he fell for you on the spot. 

One of his favorite thing was to see someone being rude with you, and you putting them back in their place by using your wits and sarcasms. It always made those boring social soiree eventful. 

But even in everyday life, you never let anyone abuse you in any way. If someone made a comment about you dating Bruce for his money, you’d tell them off. If the media where spreading lies about you, you’d just agree with them. “Oh yes, I slept with every single rich men in Gotham and decided to settle down for Bruce cause he’s hot, and also the richest one”, in a tone that was clearly sarcasms that of course, everyone knew it wasn’t the truth, and the person who spread the rumors would become ridiculous. 

He particularly love that glare you’d give some people. Like sometimes, you didn’t even have to speak, you’d just stare at someone intensely, and they’d apologize, or go away. Brilliant. 

Even with your own children and him, you weren’t taking their shit. When one of your sons was acting out, you’d put them back in their place rather fast. You were the first one to render Damian speechless, in fact, with that skills of yours. Oh and your husband ? Whenever he was too broody, too cocky, too dark, too harsh, too whatever, in three words, you’d make him realize he was being a dick, and boom, your magic would change his mood radically. In a good way. Always. 

3. He loves your smile. And your laugh. 

It was a communicative smile. A contagious laugh. When you smiled, whoever was in the same room than you couldn’t help but do it too. And when your childlike giggle would resonate somewhere, soon enough, everyone in the room would burst out laughing. 

You were the only one he knew who had such powers. Hell, you even were able to make him smile and laugh stupidly. And you were the first one that made Jason laugh like crazy after he came back to life, and that made Damian almost died laughing because of a very corny joke. 

He loves when you can't get your breath because you’re laughing too hard, and whenever he sees you that happy there's this overwhelming feeling of happiness that makes him want to do anything he can to make you that happy again. You’re kind, You’re caring, You’re understanding, You’re funny. You’re the most wonderful person he ever met, but when you do that laugh... That's what keeps reminding him why he loves you.

4. He loves how compassionate and empathic you are. 

People’s need always came before your own. Sometimes, he hated that, because he wanted you to take care of yourself...but most times, he thought it was the best thing in the world. You were the best thing in the World. 

You always took care of everyone, without expecting anything in return. This was precious. He loved the fact that you were so nice, and he was just a grumpy asswhat most of the time...And yet, you couldn’t be more perfect for each others. 

5. He loves the fact that you cry like a baby when you watch a sad movie, or read a sad book. 

The way you’d curl up against him for comfort, tears in your eyes because the family dog died in this film, or because the father figure passed away in this story...He lived for it. He just love how sensitive you could be, how easily you could let things go...and how you helped him let go more often than not. 

6. He loves the fact that you never hogged the blanket in bed. 

Quite the contrary really, you were often too hot (you liked the cold way better), so instead of pulling the blanket to you, you’d throw everything on him. He liked to be warm. He particularly loved when, early in the morning, you’d get a bit cold, and sneak under the comforter to snuggle against him, his arms going automatically around you...Contrary to popular belief, the Batman was very cuddly, and actually couldn’t fall asleep if he didn’t touch you in any way. 

7. He loves the feel of your lips on his.

Your kisses were always great. Short, long, lingering, tonguy, peck, passionate, desperate, needy, hot, giggly, sneaky...He loved all of them. All of the ways you’d kiss him. But his favorite were the one he gave you when you were sleeping, and selfishly, he knew it would wake you up, and the way you’d automatically respond to it, still sleepy, was just his favorite.

8. He loves the fact that you often sing or hum movie soundtracks. 

Whatever you do in the house, he can always hear your voice humming, whistling or singing something. It’s often the Indiana Jones theme tunes, because you love those movies...But no matter what you sing, he just loves it. You’re terrible at it, oh God such an awful singer, but it’s like a little kid singing around. So sweet and cute. 

9. He loves the way you often run your fingers on his body absentmindedly. 

The tip of your fingers brushing his naked skin, making him shiver without you realizing it. It always drives him crazy, and you don’t even know it. 

10. He loves how focus you look when you write. 

You’re so passionate about the things you do...He admires you greatly because of this. Besides, the way your tongue sucks out of your mouth whenever you’re really concentrated, it’s just too cute. 

11. He loves how you think about him in little ways. 

Leaving him post-it notes to tell him how much you love him, or sometimes to just write stupid things that are sure to make him laugh...Or blush, if you’re in a bit of a naughty mood. Getting him the food he likes. Asking him about things you know he’s interested in...Just, the little things you know, but the little things that meant so damn much, and made his heart flutter in happiness. 

12. He loves when you just randomly make trust falls. 

Like, you’d walk besides him, and all of a sudden yell “Timber !” and fall forward or backward. His heart would drop every time, scared for you, until his arms would just automatically catch you, and you’d smile at him, kissing him. He never let you fall once. 

13. He loves how goofy you could be. 

It made him let go too, and just be silly and goofy. You’d take weird voices, flap your arms like a bird and try to peck him, act like a pouty child but not in an annoying way, demand to play hide and seek etc etc...And the best things was that, this side you both had, only you and him knew about it. 

14. He loves how reassuring and supportive you are. 

Sometimes, he would be insecure, scared etc etc...about everything. He’d question his nightly actions, he’d wonder if he was doing the right thing. He’d have a nightmare and...you’d be here. No matter what. Even if he was being the worst asshole in the universe, you’d never give up on him. The way you run your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp lovingly, was the soothing thing he ever felt...Without you, he was pretty sure that he would have cracked already. 

15.He loves when you sit on his back while he’s doing push-ups. 

He just loves it. You often read as he goes up and down, kissing him sometimes  to encourage him. It makes him feel all fuzzy inside. When he trains, you’re always around, and he likes that. Another thing he loves besides you sitting on his back, is when he does pull ups, and your on his back, as if he was giving you a piggy back ride. He lives for the small kisses you leave on his shoulders.

16.He loves the way you helped him raising your children. 

You were a cool mom. A fair one. You didn't have a favorite, and always made time for all of them (a day a week, when they had free times, you’d spent the day with each one. Dick was on Tuesdays, Jason had Thursdays, Damian Sundays, and Tim loved his Fridays with you). 

You were always there to listen to them, something he found difficult to do. He wasn’t always good with words, and often had difficulties conveying his emotions in the right way..He made sure his sons knew he loved them, but sometimes, when they needed advices (about anything), you were the one they came to. 

He couldn’t be thankful enough to have you in his life. You always seemed to find solutions to problems he thought were impossible to resolve. And...You were there. Just that. You always had the best advices, and you just showed your love for all of them in ways that they all felt like the most important person in the universe. All of them. Equally.

17. He loves th...You were moving. 

After a week of coma, not uttering even a slight move, hooked on machines helping you to breathe, you were moving. Finally. 

You squeezed the hand he was holding, and opened your eyes. 

You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t, still too weak for that. 

But you locked your gaze with his, and all the stress and fear had felt for your life this past week disappeared (or almost). 

17. He loves the way you looked at him.

And as he bent down to kiss you tenderly, he stopped making the list. He didn’t need to anymore, you were there again, back to him. 

[justdictatorshipthings]

Do more

There is a tendency in our society to blame other for problems and to not contribute at all to fixing the problem. In the case of climate change, we actually could do more, even if the government doesn’t want to. Complaining is only going to get you so far. So here is a list of ways to help create a better future, rather than running in to problems and trying to fix them. At that point its already too late.

If everyone did at least one of these things, it wouldn’t matter what the government does or doesn’t do.

- Plant trees, and flowers for our bees. The means that there will be even more plants in the long term as bees and butterflies are responsible for propagating plants..There is a lot to be said about what to plant. Things like spider plants take up little space but can photosynthesize a lot more than plants that are much bigger. Australian native plants have high levels of pollen and require little water.

- Use high octane fuel every once in a while to clean you engine to ensure it runs as efficiently as possible. Car maintenance is important for the environment also. A car that isn’t well looked after is much less efficient then the same car that has been looked after. A car is a privilege and it should be seen as such.

- Take public transport more, use your car only when necessary. If you are going to take an Uber, use the option to share your ride when possible. Otherwise everything from electric scooters to bikes are convenient ways of traveling.I like parking a fair distance from where i have to go and walking. It doesn’t make much of a difference but it is healthier for you.

- Recycle, make sure what goes in to the bin is recycled. You don’t have to worry about cleaning it. Its more efficient to let the people in charge of recycling clean it (obviously don’t be lazy and leave a whole pizza in a box). But this only works if they get only materials that can be recycled. So always be sure to not put trash in your recycling.

- Make compost, its so easy, even if you give it to someone else that has a garden. Biodegradable waste won’t return to nature if it ends up in landfill. It will probably be buried in an airtight container to prevent any leaking of hazardous materials. Because people put too much dangerous stuff in their trash.

- Travel less, its good for the economy to take holidays in your own country, your money won’t go as far as in other countries, but it may make your own country a nicer place to be.

- Write letters to companies, governments, or any one that will listen about their irresponsible practices. I think in the case of the plastic bag ban, which has made Coles and Woolworths some $71 million in profit. It shows you that even if there is more money in doing good. Unless we push companies to do it, they won’t.

- Dim your TV, computer screens and everything else. Its amazing how much difference to your energy bill this will make over a year.

- Unplug appliances at the power board. Most people don’t realize those plug packs like that on your phone uses, are always on and using energy even when they aren’t charging your phone. The general rule is, if it has a light, it is also using energy.

- Use less air-conditioning, especially when in the car. It is amazing how much energy it uses. You are better off not having anything connected to the cigarette lighters also unless you are actually charging a device. This won’t make as much difference as the air con though. Even in the most efficient of cars (actually especially in efficient cars) it can double your fuel consumption. Sweating is healthy for you, just not practical in every situation. The same goes for stereos and other electronics connected to your car.

- Turn off your phone when you aren’t using it, so many people leave their phones on at night, if you need it to wake up its one thing. but even then you could put it in to airplane mode (or buy a really efficient alarm clock). Some phones will actually turn on for alarms, which should give you an idea of the fact that nothing is really off these days.

- Always make sure your washing machine is full, never do a small load, the older your washing machine is the more true this is. Few washing machines regulate the power going to the motor, so the consumption is the same for a small load as much as a large one.

- Sponsor animals before they become endangered. This ensures that in an emergency, they will be looked after when it matters. Rather than when its too late. Visit wild life parks that help animals, learn about them. Having a connection to the world around you makes it easier to remember why to care about it.

- Avoid anything smart. When you think about it, smart light bulbs are a light, that is connected to a mini computer running an always on server. While convenient, at times this extra functionality uses more electricity than it will ever save.

- Prepare your shopping in advanced, eat before you do it. That way you will be able to make as few trips to the supermarket as possible. While you are there, avoid anything packaged where possible, buy more veggies and less meat.

- If you can afford to, collect rainwater. Its always handy and its not expensive to set up. In fact concessions should be given to people who do collect their own rain water. Otherwise it just gets wasted. Councils should probably sell rain water collection tanks at pumps at cost. More people would have them if they did this. This would reduce the burden on our water system.

- While there has been a big push for solar, consider wind. Modern wind turbines for homes aren’t that bad looking. Efforts are still being made to make them look like works of futurist art. This will continue. If you live in the bottom half of Australia, you will generate more electricity this way than with solar.

- Avoid streaming where possible, any thing cloud related is also bad. This requires ridiculous amounts of energy, and grows every year. The past few years has seen more data stored than all the other years that came before it combined. This is a waste, in any way you can, avoid using these types of services. Peer 2 peer networks are probably more efficient, because they don’t require the peak demand capacity that cloud services do. An example would be to download your favorite Spotify tracks rather than always streaming them. Watch free to air TV first. Store everything on local hard drives.

- Limit how many pets you have. Where possible source sustainable food for them. Kangaroo meat has to be one of the most sustainable meats in the world. Its very healthy and from my experience all pets love it. You can buy it in bulk and in some cases without packaging.

- There is so much inefficiency in our materialist world. For example horizontal fridges are much more efficient than vertical ones. While it may not be practical for everyone, there is always a more efficient alternative if you can afford it and it suits your needs.

- Avoid upgrading technology as much as possible. Buy a product that has a long life to begin with. I usually spend a little extra on my computers, not for performance reasons, they are actually pretty slow (aka efficient) computers. But they are made of quality components that last. I use my computers professionally, they are both 6 years old. An upgrade would be me spoiling myself, but the truth is they still give me everything I need. This is a relatively new thing, which is why so many people believe that technology has a shorter lifespan than it does. Chances are if you have a slow computer, it needs to be serviced, such as putting new thermal compound on the fan, removing the dust, or clean installing the operating system. Speed advancements in technology haven’t been happening as much as they used to, in most cases  its smaller and more efficient, but not faster.

- A recent MIT study found that buying online is more efficient. When you think about the amount of energy that goes in to the climate control systems of large stores. Then the driving to and from these places. Where possible, buy online, have it shipped using standard (non express shipping). The amount of times i have paid for express and not needed that quickly is ridiculous.

- Use nature to its best advantage. I always have a lot of plants around where i live to help reduce the strain the weather causes on the internal house temperatures. Its annoying that its not a widely accepted concept, but some councils will issue grants for plants on roofs or walls. They are a really good form of insulation from both hot and cold.

- Old heating and cooking systems are pretty efficient, as they served the purpose of both heat and cooking. you can still buy these systems, they have been modernized a bit. Though if more companies made combined heating and cooking appliances, combined washing and toilet facilities, etc. These save a lot of money over time. Even just in commercial premises where this would be more practical.

- Fuck grass. Seriously, that low level turf is an outdated sign of status. The whole point of it was that you had so much space, you could devote it to nothing, that’s how privileged you are. But its so common here. If you were to replace it with big lush native grasses. It would not only look better (because some of them grow up to two meters and look amazing), but it would make an enormous difference to the environment, both in terms of reducing pollution and in the amount of water it uses.

- If you are terrible with plants, a brown thumb as they call it. Plant succulents. All you have to do, is find someone that has one, ask for them to break you off a piece, and stick it in the ground, preferably where it won’t get sunlight all day if you don’t want to have to water them. That’s it, they will grow, if you water them once a week they will grow faster. Its better than nothing and some of the colours and flowers they grow makes them an attractive alternative.

- I don’t have undercover parking, so i throw a cheap tarp over the car. It looks like i am hiding in the jungle from air raids, but the reality is it keeps the car cool so i don’t need to crank up the air-con when i leave. A tarp is much easier than those annoying reflector thing on your windshield. Though if you have the 150$ spare, its worth getting at least 50% window tinting on your car. It usually comes with a life time warranty. It will pay itself off in terms of the car looking new for longer and all by using less air condition.

- Plan your garden beds. Put a water proof material underneath them, then stones above this material. What this does is create a natural reservoir that stores rain water underneath the roots. You will water more than 50% less which is a great productivity gain. There are also ways to create impressive gardens that need to be watered 3 times a year. This is worth researching.

- Start a harvest collective. If you can grow one vegetable better than others, don’t wast your time growing other plants. Just grow that, then encourage your friends to grow something else. You can then share your harvests rather than having to plant lots of different things. Growing at home is good for so many reasons. Also use organic seaweed fertilizers, they are amazing.

- Its amazing how much energy a Sunday roast uses to cook. Then there is the whole thing that the air quality in your home actually hits toxic levels, because fat is essentially a fuel that is burning while your roast cooks. So even if you eat meat, there is ways to do this in a more sustainable fashion.

- This is why i recommend convection ovens, aka air “fryers”. They are just much smaller and efficient electric ovens. They require no time to heat up, and will usually cook items in less time. In probably 80% of cases, if i need to heat up something or cook it from frozen, i can do it in an air “fryer”.

- Natural pools are the best. This is where you use plants and nature to clean your pool rather than using chemicals. Yes its a little more like swimming in a lake, but if its done the right way its actually healthier than swimming in chlorine. Its also good for the environment. Great advancements have been made in this field, you should google it if you are considering a pool, or would like to stop using chemicals on an existing one.

- Eat seasonally. Its not that hard to look for what is cheap. Supermarkets aren’t great at this but green grocers will have more variety. Its important for biodiversity to grow as many different species as possible. So buying different varieties of your favorites is not only healthy for you, but its good for the environment.

- Its sad that due to the industrialization of our agriculture system, fruit and vegetables are grown to look good and last in storage. What they aren’t grown to be is tasty any more, because there is no way you can fake that. This is why i recommend farmers markets and organic, its a lot easier to finish your vegetables when they taste the way nature intended them to. Trust me on this one, we hate fruit and vegetables so much, we see them as a chore, because over the last 100 years we have systematically killed their taste.

- Then of course there is the whole, plants aren’t going to taste as nice as something made in a lab that is designed to maximize the reaction by your taste receptors.This is why you should avoid process foods because their alter your taste buds, and make it harder to enjoy nature. Just like our phones do to our bodies. Just like air condition does to going outside.

I’m sure there are plenty more, please feel free to add any ideas in to the comments section.

[adventk-blog]

                                              — ARE YOU WHO YOU WANT TO BE,

        introducing LEE JAEHWAN, a MUTANT, under the moniker of TINK — and currently a believer of NEUTRALITY. age ( twenty-five ) and gifted with the ability of FAIRY PHYSIOLOGY, they are currently working as FLORAL SHOP EMPLOYEE. 

WE ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN STORIES, 

Gold has always been Jaehwan’s favorite color.

It sparkles and gleams, its precious metal counterpart nearly priceless—there wasn’t anything stopping him from favoring it. Silver and bronze were nice, great even, yet they didn’t have the power and finesse that gold holds. Seeing anything painted with gold—made of gold—it wasn’t something the eye could look away from.

It sings of magic. It pulses with divinity.

Gold commands the attention in the room, and that’s what Jaehwan wanted to be.

Jaehwan, my special boy, his mother croons. One of the three, it was something that he was told constantly—so much to a point where there’s no way he couldn’t be special. He excelled in almost everything he tried—soccer, drawing, and even a little bit of acting. He was exceptional, the jack-of-all-trades.

But whatever he tried wasn’t enough and he didn’t know what enough was.

High school came and went without much trouble. He was the star of the musical theatre clique, and many believed he was well on his way to becoming a starred actor. But theatre to Jaehwan was nothing more than a drama-filled hobby wrapped up in a glittery package. Sure, it was nice; sometimes stressful. But Jaehwan was striving for something of real gold and tacky glitter was not going to cut it.

He spends a year floundering, nineteen years of age with little direction, before he starts going to a community college. Classes are fine, almost boring to a point where he barely tries in them. The results in multiple harsh tongue lashes from his parents. They couldn’t have their special boy with these grades.

Little did they know just how special he was.

Jaehwan was in his third year of college now, the year where people are pressing him about what he’s going to do for the rest of his life. It was also the year where Jaehwan stopped giving a fuck about what anyone else said. He, now a business major after rolling a die to choose one, couldn’t give a flying fuck about what people thought about him because– well, he was Lee mother-fucking Jaehwan, and he was great and there wasn’t anyone else that would tell him otherwise.

However, junior year was another hellhole in on itself. Plagued with sickness, he was annoyed by the fact he couldn’t go and let loose with whoever he wanted. No one had a single clue as to what was going on, but some days Jaehwan was riddled with so much pain and agony he couldn’t even move. It was pure agony that had Jaehwan question everything he had ever done or ate.

But then the dust started.

He thought it was dandruff at first– the what is later to be known as his pixie or fairy dust. It came off mostly in his hair, especially when he shook his head, off in gentle waves that were beyond alarming to someone who prized every cell of his perfect body. But then he noticed how it glittered gold and didn’t look a damn thing like dandruff at all. It was all very confusing, and hiding it was difficult considering it was summer when it started and hats made his skull sweaty.

The first time he wakes up as a tiny ass fairy it was after he blacked out at a party. The last thing he remembered was that he was just about to start getting busy with this hot chick, but everything after that was a blur. But not only is he stark naked, he’s barely bigger than a phone, and honestly the only thing that he had the power to do at that moment was to panic like the world was ending because he was pretty sure the whole world was literally ending.

At some point he had passed out again, only to wake up again to his full frame, feeling different. He gets dressed quickly and over the course of time, he pretends nothing had happened at all. He hoped that by ignoring it– It was just a dream, he lies to himself– that it would go away. But of course, that’s not how life was going to play it.

The transformations happen more suddenly– often without warning, yet almost always happening when his emotions run high. He doesn’t quite know what to do at all when they happen, really, especially since he can’t talk so how is he supposed to get help when he can’t communicate his panic? Jaehwan doesn’t quite know how he managed to keep it a secret from the family, but it was a blessing that Jaehwan was going to keep as long as he could.

His wings took a while to come, but when they did– oh god did they hurt. It was worse than that time he got stung by the same wasp three times when he was seven– worse than when he got that stress fracture in his foot at rehearsals in school. It didn’t quite help that he was also puny when they decided to make their grand entry into his life, so the only thing anyone could hear would be the loud shrill of a bell.

–

After the fall of the foundation, Jaehwan wasn’t exactly shocked ( because of course it was terrible ) but also shocked by how venomously his family reacted to the news. He remembers choking on his morning cereal at his father’s words, damn mutant scums. He had been planning on revealing his secret to his family now that he had somewhat of an understanding of it– he was actually pretty excited for it. Yet once the slurs and threats of how they didn’t belong came, that idea quickly shriveled up and died a terrible death. Feeling unsafe in his own home, Jaehwan panicked, packed a bag, and found a little hovel of an apartment to live in for the time being.

He likes to tell himself that he chose to move out rather than run away.

THERE IS FLESH AND BLOOD BEHIND THESE TALES, 

++ bright, confident, outgoing, witty == dramatic, emotional, loud, mischievous – –  obstinate, sensitive, unforthcoming, vain

Lee Jaehwan thinks his shit doesn’t stink, and it’s true because his everything now smells like some mixture of roses, honey and sunshine. His confidence is nearly unbreakable– impeccable for someone who ran away from home out of fear. He knows he’s adorable, and he will use that to his advantage if the opportunity presents itself. He’s quite theatrical, sometimes acting like a one man show and loves to be the center of attention. Some would describe him as childish, but Jaehwan simply thinks he’s being fun.

Showbiz aside, Tink can be very friendly and empathetic towards those he’s close to, but he doesn’t really show that side too often and you have to be very important for that to be the case. He doesn’t show his soft and gooey insides to just anybody.

Sometimes assholey, Tink can be downright ridiculous, often getting carried away with either himself or with reacting to whatever just happened. He’s volatile, easy to rile up in one way or another. Tink  sometimes has a terrible flirtatious streak, although he doesn’t necessarily see that as a bad thing. He loves to talk, after all, and he himself is his favorite topic.

Yet under the brazen mask of drama and pizzazz, Jaehwan is much calmer and more mature than one would’ve ever expected him to be. He’s never really taken seriously– which he supposes is his own fault, but how could people not believe him the first time? Jaehwan has a secretive edge to him, and a terrible habit of bottling up every negative emotion or trouble. He doesn’t like to display his dirty laundry, so to speak, and will do almost anything to upkeep his bedazzled image.

AND EVEN MONSTERS CAN LEARN TO WEEP. 

fairy physiology–

Tink is your favorite little blonde Disney diva brought to life. His mutation primarily involves the ability to shift between two forms: his default human and a little 11.5cm tall fairy. Upon transformation, his hair goes from its current color to a platinum blonde, and his already pointy ears get even pointier. Wings like a bee’s protrude from his back, allowing him to fly around. He’s also extremely dusty, and sheds off the magical golden fairy dust upon movement, although this seems to just be contained like dandruff in his human skin.

APPLICATIONS :

enhanced condition

Some of Tink’s physical abilities are above the human norm, but only by a little bit. He has faster reflexes, speed, and agility, as well as a dash of better dexterity and durability. Out of his senses, his sense of smell and hearing are the two that are boosted a pinch.

fairy dust generation

Tink gives off dust like a dog sheds its fur.  While in his fairy form, every single movement gives off the dust, leaving a trail of the sparkling gold. However, the magical golden dust is somewhat contained to his scalp while he’s in his human form, and is not quite as prominent. The dust has a drug-like qualities, giving those affected an extreme high– as if they’re crossfaded to hell and back– if enough dust is consumed, inhaled, or absorbed through contact. Once down from the high, the user typically will have a hangover-like symptoms. Tink is immune to his own dust.

flight ( through wing manifestation )

When one has wings, one can fly. He has similar speed and dynamics as to wasps or honey bees.

connection to nature

It’s hard for him to explain, but whenever he feels outside he just feels…whole. He can sense the “moods” of plants, and plants in general will be more responsive towards his tender, love, and care.

fairy glow

As a fairy, Tink quite literally glows like an off-white Christmas light. It’s magical, and quite useful in dark places. Only thing is that the glow turns to red when he is angry or frustrated.

LIMITATIONS :

as a fairy, Tink can only talk in a range of bell tones, making communication sometimes difficult. not to mention annoying considering how much he loves to talk

he has no partial forms

it is exhausting to transform, and transformation between forms can range from mildly uncomfortable to extreme pain without any warning

clothing does not transform with him

can sometimes be difficult to maintain fairy form, and can be prone to sudden transformations if emotions run extreme

enhanced condition is similar to those of peak human condition ; does not effect his mental capabilities, and only effects some physical attributes

dust generation cannot be turned off and happens continuously

while slowed and limited to a specific place, still happens when human and can be noticeable to those observant enough

unknown to him, his fairy dust has addictive qualities like alcohol and/or nicotine depending on the victim

fairy glow can put one at a disadvantage when it comes to being stealthy

due to his connection to nature, eating an extensive amount of meats will make him sick

seeing withering plants will make him inexplicably sad

applications are dimmed some when he is in his human form

flight and fairy glow are only accessible when he is in his fairy form

THREAT LEVEL TWO.                            04+ BRWN, 02+ RSLNC, 04+ INTLCT, 06+ WLLPWR, 02+ FGHTNG, 06+ SPD        

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 9: Jealousy is a Disease, Get Better Bitch

It’s 3 weeks into term 2 and Mirio and I are the main talk of the school. Iida is still feeling the regret of not speaking up. Muffin 2.0 has an attachment to me and is my assistant and security robot. Important exams are coming up for the intelligence program and more training is required. 

-Wednesday in Weaponry-

“Ok let’s review class! When I say a weapon, you present it.” commanded Diya sensei.

“YES SIR!”

“Ok, present straight blade.”

Class presents the correct blade.

“Present brass knuckles”

Everyone but me gets it wrong.

“Really? its literally the only one that has finger holes!” said sensei rubbing his temples “everyone but Palma take a lap!”

“YES SIR!” everyone runs off to do their punishment.

“Palma, come here.” 

I get sweaty “yes sir.”

“Now you are doing amazingly well into this term, I was wondering if you could do more training with the hero 1-A class since you need the copy practice.”

“More practice as in, scheduled training?”

“Yes, if you accept I can talk it over with Aizawa on which days so you can have the full schedule of things.”

“I accept!”

“Great! Another thing, you are a strong contender along with Oleshin and Matsui to take the labyrinth and pro-take down practice tests.”

“Oh? I thought only third years take those tests to get into branch academies?”

“Yes but you 3 as a squadron can take the practice tests so in third year you can take the actual test and get into top academies, like at country level agency.”

“That’s quite the honor! I will train my hardest to bring honor to our program.”

“That’s what I like to hear!”

The rest of class continues as usual and Diya tells Mimi and Jin about the practice tests. They also accept the challenge and we get excited about special moves and combos we could do. The rest of the class gets envious of us but we don’t care.

-Meanwhile in the hero 1-A classroom, before I arrive-

“Gah! did you guys hear what Mirio said in the hall in the morning when that one guy was pestering Palma-san?!” said Hagakure.

“I’m getting sick of hearing about this Mirio, unless Palma-san talks about the steamy details about their dates and sessions.” said Bakugo

“Seeing them walk to school holding hands makes me want to have that too” swooned Uraraka.

“Have you seen them training?! He can bench press her!” fanboy’d Kirishima “So manly! Palma-san picked the manliest one of them all!”

Iida was just sitting there, getting jealous that she chose such a person when he knows her secrets. He felt guilty but he wished they would break up so he can swoop in and take his chance. I teleported in.

“Hello everyone!” I said with a warm smile.

“Palma-san! You seem happier than earlier~ did Mirio do something?” asked Aoyama.

“Not this time! I have to give sensei this and I can train more with you guys!”

“Yay! I love our training sessions! You make them fun!” said Mina as she jumped.

“I’m less excited” shivered Mineta “I’m getting flashbacks to when she donkey kicked me into Sato’s ass.”  

“DON’T REMIND ME!” screamed Sato, clenching his buttcheeks “I’ll never be the same again.”

“I remember that! My best work yet” I said proudly “my dad taught me how to donkey kick.”

“Why is it every time you show us a useful skill, your father was the one that taught you?” questioned Iida.

“I was the favorite of my siblings because I was so easy to teach and had the patience to perfect these skills” I said remembering my dad “I love my dad and him showing me these skills was his way of showing me he cares for me.”

“Your dad sounds so manly!” said Kirishima “only the manliest men in Palma-san’s life!”

“I’m jealous!” spoke up Midoriya “wish my dad was around to show me useful skills.”

“yo that’s so fucking sad, you ok?” I said as the door opened.

“We’ll get started soon so take your seats” said Aizawa with a stack of papers.

“Oh sensei here, Diya sensei is putting in my request for non-grade training.” said as I handed in a manila folder with my name and program on the flap.

“Thank you Miss Palma, I’ll give these back to Diya by the end of the day.”

Class starts and the rest of the day follows as usual. It’s after school and Mirio is walking me to the dorms.

“Can I ask you something?” asked Mirio.

“Sure, ask away.”

“Why did you come over here?”

Oh boy he wants answers to that part of my file, gotta think fast “To make things short of a whole tragic story, I came over here to protect my family because there’s no hero culture in America. My school was attacked and tried to take my friends to safety but I took a bullet for a beloved teacher instead. Fearing for my family and life, I separated from them and got them relocated while I came over here. It’s was best for everyone this way.”

“That’s incredible! You’re a hero Palma-san!” exclaimed Mirio “You’re so self-less, caring and brave... true qualities of a great hero. I’m honored to be in the presence of such a heroic person.”

Oof I’m going to literally vomit “Thanks but I’m not a hero, I never wanted to be one. I was planning on being a musician or quirk researcher for medicine, that attack ruined my life.”

“But why? You clearly have the power and knowledge to be in the Top 10! Along with All Might! and myself when I finish school! Don’t you want to protect others from the evil of the world?”

I’m about to end this conversation “No, I don’t want to protect everyone because I know I can’t.”

“Well yea but-”

“Mirio, if you’re busy protecting me....then who’s protecting you? Who’s protecting your family? Who’s protecting your home? I want to be the person that protects those people because I know first hand how it is to be ripped away from your family. I know how it is to see your home get torn down with everyone still inside. I know how it is to see your role model get injured.” I started to cry “I don’t wish that on anybody! I’m not a hero, I’m some dead teenager that didn’t save the school or crime. I everyone that once knew me thinks I’m dead and the person that took the shot got the satisfaction of putting me in ground. Is that the hero you’re praising me to be! HUH MIRIO!?”

Mirio just looked at me with wide eyes, he knew he messed up and this whole convince her to be a hero ploy was not going to work.

“I’m sorry- I, don’t know what to say... I never thought-”

“save it Mirio” I said through my angry tears “I need to be alone right now, excuse me.” I teleport out before he could reach out to stop me. He ran to the dorms to see if I was there and apologize properly.

“Um hello! Sorry for the intrusion, but did Palma-san teleport in?” asked Mirio at the entrance of the dorms to Midoriya and Todoroki.

“I didn’t see her before I came down here.” said Midoriya

“Me neither, I thought she was with you Mirio-kun” answered Todoroki “what happened?”

“I asked her a question and I guess it hit a nerve with her and she started to get upset and cry. Before I could apologize she said she needed to be alone and teleported off” explained Mirio “I feel so awful and I don’t know where else could she be!”

“Hmm, I think Iida-kun might know! Lets go ask him, come.” said Todoroki

The boys go up to the boys side and found Iida in the commons room.

“Iida-kun we need help!” said Midoriya in a panic “Palma-san ran off”

“Ran off? I thought she was with-” Iida started then stopped when he saw Mirio with a gulity expression on “with you- WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?! YOU MADE HER CRY DIDN’T YOU!?”

Mirio flinched “I did and I feel absolutely terrible! I didn’t know my question was going to get her upset and cry! Can you please help me find her?”

Iida was trying his hardest not to blow up in Mirio’s face “I have an idea where she might of ran off to, the intelligence dorms and probably in her friends’ dorm to vent” he said as he walked toward the stairs “come on! we have a small window before she goes on a mini adventure with those 2!” The boys follow him to the 4 story dorms thats right next to the hero dorms.

“Hey I’ve seen that car before in the school parking lot! I didn’t know their sensei had an American model car.” said Midoriya as he pointed at the tan colored Jeep that was parked on the west side of the dorms.

Iida panics and said “oh right? hehe imports are so expensive! Lets hurry!”

They go up to the 2nd floor and get greeted by Jin “WELL! if it isn’t a broccoli, robot, thermostat and naked man! Here to make baby girl cry some more?! Or did you come to surrender your asses to Mimi for a Russian beeting?!”

“Please! Mirio just wanted to-”

“SAVE IT ROBOT! I know what happened and I’m about to use my moves on yall if you take one. more. step.” Jin menaced as he struck a pose.

“This is ridiculous! I just want to see her real quick, excuse me” Mirio said as he scooted past Jin.

“MAYDAY MAYDAY! PALMA TAKE ESCAPE MEASURES!” Jin screamed into his earpiece.

The boys stood confused for a second then heard a car honk.

“Gotta go boys! Babygirl doesn’t wanna talk to yall” he said summoning a portal “bye bye!”

Iida’s eyes widen as he realizes whats going on “SHE WOULDN’T!” as he sped off with the other boys followed 

“she wouldn’t do what Iida-kun?!” asked Todoroki as they got to the front of the dorms. They catch her with Mimi and Jin in that tan Jeep, speeding off the property.

“That, Mirio you just-” he said turning to Mirio but gets cut off by Midoriya.

“SHE STOLE A CAR! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! SHE’S GOING TO GET HURT IIDA-KUN! I’M REPORTING THIS TO AIZAWA IMMEDIATELY.”

“There is no way she’s getting out of this one” Todoroki said shocked “she violated school rules and committed a felony!”

Cut to hours later when I returned to my dorm, Mirio went home and blew up my phone and everyone in the hero dorm knows what I did. I teleported in my room and got out of my emergency outing clothes that I keep in my car and into lounge wear. My plan was to walk out of my room and act like I didn’t just go to the arcade and messed with people at the town plaza with Mimi and Jin. I walk out and see everyone in the commons room; along with Aizawa, Midnight and All Might... oh n e p t u n e I am in danger of getting exposed.

“Oh Miss Palma! There you are, you gave your classmates quite a scare” said Aizawa “mind telling us the details of your latest heist?”

I sweat but feel bold “Oh hehehe NOPE!” I said as I tried to teleport but get swindled by Aizawa’s Erasure and I fall on my face.

“You’re not in trouble but your classmates need to know why what you did isn’t terms to get you in trouble.” coaxed Midnight as she helped me up.

Deep breath in “Ok yall so you heard about me speeding off in a Jeep that was parked near the intelligence dorms. Truth is, I didn’t steal the car nor did I borrow it, that Jeep belongs to me.” I say as I take out my car key “I was issued a Japan drivers license a month before school started and the Jeep was imported from my home in the America. The only person in the hero 1-A class that knew about this secret was Tenya because I trusted him with this secret among some others I don’t want to get into. I’m sorry for all the worry and distress I’ve caused over this, please forgive me for my carelessness.”

“Young lady I don’t know how they do it in America but these impulses need to stop! It’s not the hero way.” scolded All Might

“No All Might, she’s allowed to do all that, she’s intel and I won’t hear the end of it from Agent 99 if we provoke her!” Midnight said already feeling the stress of the backlash.

“You’re not my dad American Stereotype Man! I do what I want, I’m not stupid!” I sassed.

“This whole time you had a car and couldn’t give us rides anywhere?!” spoke up Sero “do you know how many Mcdonalds runs we could’ve had?!”

“We could’ve gone shopping at the nicer malls! Or went to the arcade after school!” Kaminari chimed in.

Everyone was abuzz with this new information and I had enough, I wasn’t having fun anymore. “SHUT UP! This is exactly why I didn’t tell anyone, yall would just use me for my car instead of treating me like a true friend. I’ve had it with today!” I yelled as I walked back to my dorm to cry out my frustration. I cried myself to sleep that night and woke up puffy from all the crying. I felt and looked like garbage and no amount of makeup could’ve helped it. I get a text while I waited for my coffee to finish brewing, it was from Mirio

[Good morning, I know you’re still upset but please let me right my wrongs. I want to talk and I promise I won’t bring up the past.]

I should respond or I’ll look like the bitch [ok, lets talk at lunch then]

[Great! see you then, have a good 1st half of school]

I get guilty that I did a whole spectacle in my wanting to be alone. I dread going to the hero wing for class, I wanted everyone to just not look at me, I was getting lost in my dread then I realized somebody was talking to me.

“Ita, what happened yesterday?” asked Iida softly

“Oh?! sorry I was getting lost in my thoughts. Mirio asked me why was I here and gave me false praise for my past.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Rather not, I don’t want to lash out on you too. I really lost control yesterday and everything else was a mess afterwards.”

While class was in session, the big 3 was getting filled in on what happened.

“I told you it was a bad idea! It’s a traumatic event Mirio!” scolded Amajiki.

“So what now? Do we just stop pursuing her now that we know the truth?” pondered Nejire “such a shame, she was a promising candidate for top hero.”

“Guys forget all that! I messed up BIG time with her and worst of all she doesn’t even want to be here” said Mirio as he flipped through his phone “I even looked up the school she went to and it’s true what she said, everyone believes she’s dead and she didn’t actually stop that gang leader. She’s not a hero back home, and she’s not at liberty to switch over to be one.”

The other two looked at each other and Amajiki asked “Are you going to break up with her?”

“I don’t want to but I can’t lie to myself that what I did was forgivable, I looked at her personal information and just assumed she was this hometown hero that’s studying abroad to help everyone back home” said Mirio solemnly “She’s a bright young lady that was taken away from her family and home to live her life in hiding here. I’ve never been so wrong in my life guys, it’s best if I break things off.”

“We’re with you on this Mirio!” said Nejire hugging Mirio.

“Then is today the day you’re going to-” started Amajiki.

“No, I’m going to wait until we get into our exams so I don’t put blame on them but on my seriousness to be a hero. She’ll understand and it’s less hurtful.” 

Lunch started and I was sweating with anxiety, I was down with breaking up but not with delving into the reasons I ended up here. It went better than I thought, he apologized and I apologized for the whole dramatics of the car thing. I was relieved that he didn’t want to break up because I wanted to practice his quirk some more, I was almost at mastery with it. Fast forward to stats and strats with Jin, an upperclassman works with us on classwork.

“Say, are you guys part of the top first years that are taking the practice exams?” asked the upperclassman.

“We are! I guess rumor of it is spreading among the program.” said Jin

“Congrats! Are you guys excited about the pro-take down? Because we all are!”

“Why? What’s so cool about it for the hype?” I questioned.

“Because it’s broadcasted for the school and agencies to watch! Plus the whole set up is made to defeat or detain all the 3rd years that are becoming pro heroes.”

“Wait does that also-”

“Yup, including the Big Three! They’re usually the reason why the test has a high fail rate. I personally haven’t seen anybody made it past the river section.”

I look at Jin and we exchange the same ‘bitch we have the upper hand’ look. Class ends and we rush over to Mimi to tell her the news.

“We do have the upper hand! Ita you have to say as long as possible with naked man and his friends.”

“Thats the plan but we need a special formation for at least detaining the other 2 and somehow stunning naked man-” I start and get interrupted with a text, it’s Mirio.

[Hey is it ok if today we don’t walk home together? I have to study with Amajiki and Nejire]

[It’s alright, work hard! see you tomorrow!]

I teleport to the dorms and I try not to bring attention to myself. I was doing my homework in my room and I get a bunch of knocks on my door

“who is it?”

“it’s the boys”

Why tho? “ok come in”

It was all the boys in 1-A pile in my room. I get a weird feeling in my stomach that they want something from me.

“We know another one of your dirty little secrets.” said Mineta

I start sweating because it could be literally anything “Oh yeah? what did you discover?”

“You’re familiar with the game League of Legends? Aren’t you Tsaxyphone420?!” confronted Kaminari.

Oh what a relief! It’s a non serious secret. “Oh you caught me! Yes I am Tsaxyphone420.”

The boys gasped “I can’t believe it! How are you playing the game without a console or TV?” asked Sero.

I walk over to my closet and show them a 2 by 3ft flat screen and a game console with my pink controller and matching headset. “My buddy Jin fixed the tv and console that we found at a thrift store while trying to find parts for our project. I’ve had my account for years before I came here and I’d just play when I get invited to the 3rd year kickbacks.”

The boys were floored and envious of my well kept secrets but I was curious “How did you guys know it was me?”

“Alot of the moves and strategies the character does mimics your pattern of strategy minus the wrestling moves” said Midoriya holding his notebook “I noticed when I was watching Kaminari and Mineta try to raid your fortress a month ago.”

“At the same time you were in your allegedly in your room doing your online homework” Iida said fixing his glasses “your giggling and murmuring was suspicious and we connected the dots.”

“And we’re here to make a wager Palma-san! Your clan v our clan! If we win, you have to cook us dinner for a month” proclaimed Sato “dessert included!”

“Ok and if I win, yall have to cook breakfast for the girls and I for a month.”

“DEAL! WE WON’T LOSE!” said Mineta, Sero, Sato, Kaminari and Tokoyami in unison “SUMMON THINE CLAN FOR WAR!”

“Palma to Matsui, do you copy?”

“Matsui here, what’s the situation?”

“We’ve been challenged, order to summon the clan!”

“-gasp- I am contacting the others immediately!”

“Roger that” 

We played on the commons room TV and everyone came down to see. Victory to my clan and the uproar from the boys was so rewarding.

“AHHHH! Mineta you fuckin cost us the game!” yelled Sato.

“nuh! Denki when full dumb mode when he started attacking us instead!”

“We lost, now we must uphold our end of the deal” Tokoyami said trying to hide his rage.

“Good job clan! You just earned me breakfast for a whole month.”

“Our pleasure Palma! See you later!”

“no fair! you have all the talent!” said Kaminari “seriously what can’t you do?!”

“I keep telling yall it’s math! Something about numbers makes my brain shut off.”

“Didn’t you test out of 1st year math?” Iida slid in with the facts.

“Yea, BARELY! I was one point away from having to take it anyways! But also if I didn’t test out, I wouldn’t be in your class.” I said as I took my headset off “would anyone else be as fun as me?!”

Fast forward to Saturday, Mimi and Jin summoned me for a training session. We work on formations in the shared field and it caught the attention of the Baku-squad.

“Hey! mind if we have a go at you three?” said Kirishima “those formations are looking a bit easy to evade.”

“Ok, the goal is to detain, get in formation heroes!” said Jin “Mr. Muffins start timer.”

We start and as expected, they’re trying to take down Mimi when the real threat is Jin. We them in the center of our formation and Jin gives the signal to get out of the center to deploy endless loop portals (point A portal is directly under portal B so the object falls indefinitely). The Baku-squad gets in the loop and we shoot our net guns to detain them and get them out of the endless falling.

“TIME! How long was that Mr Muffins?” asked Jin.

“that was 2 minutes and 45 seconds.”

“Fuck! we didn’t shave off our goal” I said as I untangled Mina out of the net “yall want another go to see if we can shave another 15 seconds off to our goal time?”

“What the hell was that?!” growled Bakugo “That was so quick I didn’t even realize I got captured!”

“I think I’m gonna be sick” groaned Sero.

“So is that a no?” asked Mimi.

“You three are so potent, its a little scary how silent and quick you captured us” said Kirishima trying to gnaw himself out of the net.

“You should see us when we have weapon combat!” I said starting to untangle Kirishima “Mimi shot a rubber bullet into somebody’s asshole during the licensing, poor dude regretted teasing us with his exposed ass out. And Jin! oof you better not get too close or he’ll cut you so quick with his squat and stab combo!”

“But that’s not as impressive as your boomerang timer gun combo! I shat myself when I saw the flying gun at the licensing, that poor West side school didn’t see it coming and they all failed.” said Jin untying Bakugo.

They saw us like we were psychopaths and didn’t want to train with us anymore. I go about the rest of my day and Mirio asks me to an impromptu date. We walk to downtown and spend quality time together but I could tell he did it to make himself not feel guilty about the next few days of slowly detaching himself to break up with me. I this isn’t my first rodeo, I know the beginning of the end when I see it. I ask the difficult questions

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yea, what is it?” he said as he stopped his sip.

“I know you’re older and its a different culture here, but what number am I on your list?”

“On my list of what?”

“List of people you’ve dated, what number am I?”

“I don’t see you as a number! But you are my second.”

“...really?”

“yes....wait, what number am I?”

“Fourth, and if you’re counting random kissing encounters, tenth.”

Mirio spits out his drink “WHAT?! You’ve kissed random dudes?”

“Band parties and Intel parties are fucking wild dude, I don’t get around, I’m picky about the boys I want to involved myself with.”

“You were my first kiss and longest relationship, I guess I wasn’t the experienced one in this one huh?” he said nervously.

“You didn’t kiss your first one?”

“no... I was like 11 when we ‘dated’ and broke up a week later because I accidentally got naked while we were holding hands.”

“Thats both hysterical and cute at once!” I said laughing.

Mirio starts to run his hand on my side, I know where this is going “Well I haven’t had much practice, I’m always training and studying.”

“Well if it’s practice you want” I said before looking around and whispered in his ear “you can test my skills in the back of my Jeep.”

He spits out his drink again and vigorously nods his head. I saw his eyes, they screamed ‘yes please holy shit thats hot’. We briskly walked to the street corner and I teleported us to my car. We didn’t waste time, the moment I opened the back he tossed me in and dove right in. While we didn’t have sex or anything lewd, things still got really hot and heavy. When we had enough, I drove him home and he was still dazed from our little session. I went back to the dorms thinking I was so sly that I added a couple more days to my relationship. I teleport in and went to drink some water because a bitch thirsty. I was just standing in the kitchen chugging water and Bakugo flips the light on and sees how disheveled I was.

“Nice! Me too” he said as he took off his shirt and I saw his love marks and scratch marks.

“Bitch you don’t even know the full story!” I said as I took off my shirt and my marks ran down my chest and sides plus deeper scratch marks on my back. We shared details and he kinda slipped that it was Kirishima. “It’s cool fam, secrets safe with me.”

“thanks, gotta go give him some water before he whines.” he said running off with a bottle of water in hand.

I walk to my room with my shirt off and Tokoyami walks out and just stares longingly.

“I miss that, Ita. How much longer do I have to wait to have another session with you?”

“I don’t know, from the way things went in my car. I just added at least another week, be patient~”

I wake up in the morning feeling so smug with myself that I didn’t even try to hide my love marks. There was talk in the bathroom after I left.

“Yo! Mirio is really claiming her” whispered Sero to Kaminari “not gonna lie bro, I hope they stay together.”

“ugh right! Seeing them makes me want to fall in love too” whispered Midoriya “wonder if Iida-kun has moved on from her?”

The whispers still made it through the roar of the shower head Iida was under. He’s still hurt and refuses to move on because he swears she’s THE one. Meanwhile, the big three are at Amajiki’s house, studying but it was really just to check in with Mirio.

“Helloooo! Earth to Mirio!” Nejire waved a hand in front of a still dazed Mirio.

“Mirio did you do it?” asked Amajiki.

“No...we didn’t have any protection, it wouldn’t be fair~” Mirio said spacing out.

Nejire and Amajiki looked at each other “Mirio...he meant did you break up with her.”

Mirio snapped out of it “Oh...OH! uhhh no...” he put his head in his hands “I was on track to the break up part but she got me with the ‘wanna test me in the back of my Jeep’ and now I want to make-out while the sun sets.”

“It’s like she’s luring you in for something.” said Amajiki

“Yeah, commitment! Mirio you can’t just stay with her because she lets you suck face in her car, kiss her goodbye before it goes too far.”

“That’s my problem Nejire! I think I love her~!” He said slamming his head down on the table “I don’t even want to change her to be a hero, I want to be domestic and have kids with her! Maybe some dogs and with flower bushes everywhere and....” Mirio was going off in his tangent while the other two came up with a plan. The new plan was to give Palma-san a break up note before going to an off-campus training. That will give time for Mirio to forget about her and for Palma to move on. 

-One week later: Wednesday, in the hallway of the hero wing-

“Ok Mirio, you’ve dodged this moment for too long!” said Nejire “Here’s the note, just give it to her and then you don’t have to talk to her for 3 days about it.”

“You have to do it buddy” said Amajiki patting Mirio on the back “This wasn’t going to last and you know it.”

“I know” Mirio said sadly, rubbing his thumb over the small square with her full name on it “You guys are the best friends anybody could ask for!” He exclaimed as he hugged them. The other two scatter when they hear my foot steps and coffee slurping.

“Hey love! funny running into you here!”

“Hahaha I have class here silly! I thought you left already for the training?”

“We leave during lunch so I wanted to give you this!” he said trying not to sound sad as he handed the note “Just a little bit of my ramblings that I thought would be romantic for you to have while I’m gone!”

“Oh how sweet, you’re making it sound like you’re going to war!” I said as I looked at the name on the note, Itati Palma? Full names are for people in trouble, I see what this is “I’ll still miss you though, stay safe sweetheart” I said trying not to vomit at my fake sentiment.

Mirio was having a dilema, he wanted to leave it at that but he really wanted to kiss her. “Come close love, let me walk you to class” he said as he put his arm around me. When we got to the class, I turned around to say bye and he kissed me hard and everyone in class saw. “One for the road! See you later love~”

“Bye~ sweetheart~” I say as he walked down the hall. I turn to walk to my desk and everyone was in shock at what they just witnessed. “Hahaha hello everyone! I-”

“AH PALMA-SAN THAT WAS SO ROMANTIC!” squealed the girls and Aoyama.

Midoriya was glancing over to Iida, he had his head in his crossed arms, looking defeated.

“Iida-kun?” Midoriya asked gently

“she’s so sweet and lovely, of course Mirio expresses his affection so boldly to her” he said muffled into his arms “they deserve each other.” 

Class starts and goes as usual, then lunch time comes.

“Where are you going to eat Palma-san now that Mirio is away?” asked Momo.

“Oh uhhhh with my intel friends and Tenya of course!” I said trying not to sound like I have an ulterior motive.

Iida perks up “Huh? We are?” then he reads my face and I give the ‘i have a secret to share’ face “Oh right! we planned this on Monday! let’s go meet up with those 2!” he said as we briskly walked down the hall, out of earshot.

‘Palma to Matsui and Oleshin, do you copy?’

‘Matsui here/Oleshin here’

‘We are in the midst of the Doomsday event fellas’

‘-gasp-/-gasp-’

‘I am heading to the rendevou point with one Robot’

‘Roger that/ Roger that’

“Robot? is that my code name?!”

“Yea, its better than the other names we’ve been calling you”

“Ok but what is going on Ita?!”

“Mirio gave me a note and I know exactly what it is but I want to fill you in on why Jin and Mimi are involved in this too.”

 We get to the intelligence wing and I check if we got anyone following us. Coast is clear, I pull Iida into the workshops.

“Why is it so dark? and smells like...omelette?”

“HEY! I MADE THIS BITCHES FRESH!” Jin yelled offendedly in the dark.

I flip on the light “oof yall, it’s finally happened” I said as I take the note out of my pocket for the others to look at.

“First full name? Oh honey its like they think it’s slick but you don’t even need to open it to know!” said Mimi with sass.

“What is going on? it’s just a note for Ita, from Mirio I presume.” said Iida oblivious to what is actually going on.

I explained everything and Iida’s jaw dropped. “YOU INVOLVED YOURSELF WITH THE NUMBER 1 OF THE SCHOOL JUST TO USE HIM AS A STEPPING STOOL?!”

“To be fair, I wanted to out of affection but he wanted to CONVERT ME TENYA!”

“So now that they’re broken up” said Jin with a mouthful of omelette “we have the upper hand in our practice exam but the one person we need a bit more time to prefect the plan is the pointy eared boi.”

“The plan now is to get her close to him, disguise it as ‘Mirio blocked my number and won’t talk to me’ and have her copy the quirk to prefect the transformations we need.” said Mimi.

“If he wants to get it with me, I wouldn’t mind but it’s going to get super awkward trying to explain that I knew the whole time what they wanted with me.”

“I’m at a loss for words” said Iida slinking into his chair “all those dates and affection before class today, none of it matters? You don’t feel bad about it?”

“Both sides had alterior motives, thats not love Tenya! Love is when you look at someone and you don’t want to change a single thing about them nor care who doesn’t want them to be together. I’ll get the most satisfactory out of looking at his face when I defeat him with his own quirk, he really thought he had me figured out.” 

“huh, the note was written by 3 different people” Mimi said examining the note “and from the choice of words, it looks like Mirio didn’t want to break up.”

I read over the note “You’re right! This was group decision break up, just like how they targeted me.”

I don’t know how to go about this complication but the pro-take down practice test is in 2 weeks. Time to cause some drama between the boys.

-End Chapter 9-

<Previous - Next>

[onlyonewoman]

Tonight ye may curse without consequenses

Ficlet I may use later in my ace lowbone verse. In this one, Ned and Billy have been married for 18 years and they have a 12-year-old adoptive daughter, Roisin (only one month old when she was adopted), who just had a, for her, very unusual outburst on her daddy (Billy) because he wont let her go on an “emergency errend” to the store, since she refuses to tell him what’s so important. Lucky for them both, da (Ned) is way better at understanding pre-teen girls and growing up with two sisters has made him a bit more perceptive when it comes to female issues.   ***                   Ned knocked on Rosie’s door. ”Roisin? It’s da.” ”Go away!” ”I just wanted to ask ye something…” ”Leave me alone! Ask daddy, he’s already doing fucking anything for you!” ”Don’t try to provoke me, kiddo. I grew up in Dublin and learned me first curse words while still in diapers and I’m not impressed with yer lack of good curse words. Cursing is…” ”An art as everything else, yes I know! Leave me alone!” Sobs could be heard from behind the door and Ned sighed. Roisin rarely cried, especially not over something like this and now she was sobbing behind the door. ”Sweetheart, I know this might feel a bit too personal and if I’m wrong I appologies, but I’m gonna hang something on yer doorknob and then go downstairs.” ”Just go!” ”Alright, darling. I’ll go.” Ned went to the bathroom and opened the cabin. Dammit, he thought he’d left the package visible enough, but it had slipped down behind schampoo bottles and just as he expected, it was still in the little plastic bag. He took the bag and hung it on Rosie’s doorknob and knocked. ”In case ye want chocolate, I’m makin’ some for us.” No answer, just as he expected and Ned went down. In the hallway, he heard the sound of his daughter’s door and the plastic bag and then fast steps and the bathroom lock. Ned couldn’t help but smile. Growing up with sisters was a big help in some situations. Billy was still in the garage and Ned went out, asking his husband to not come inside for maybe half an hour or so. Billy, most of all being relieved not having to handle an angry twelve year old, had no problems keeping himself occupied with the car for a while longer and then Ned went back inside, warmed some soy milk and waited. Roisin came down, looking more embarressed than anything else and Ned handed her a cup. ”Yer da has two sisters, Roisin and ye’re twelve. Is it yer first?” His daughter nodded, red in her face and took a sip of the chocolate. Ned nodded at the kitchen table. ”Have a seat. Since there’s no way around this and I really doubt ye want yer daddy to have this talk with ye…” Roisin looked positively horrified with that idea and Ned chuckled. ”That’s what I thought. Anyways, I want ye to know that box in the bathroom upstairs, and the similar one downstairs, are for pads and stuff. I actually bought’em some months ago ye know, just in case. I guess I thought ye’d seen’em.”   Roisin just shook her head, still blushing. Ned scratched his hair. ”Well, now ye know where they are and ye’re not supposed to pay for’em yerself. Any stomach pains?” She nodded and Ned looked through his cardigan pocket and found a couple of Ibuprofens. ”No more than three of these during a 24 hours time period. Ye have any questions or would ye rather talk to aunt Fiona?” ”Uhm…” Ned smiled. His daughter could be difficult to handle sometimes, but she hated to disappoint. ”Look, kiddo, yer dads are men and have no idea how it is to have periods, so if I were ye, I’d talk to aunt Fiona for some expert advice. But, as yer da, it would be irresponsible of me to spare ye the birds and the bees talk.” ”For fucks sake… Sorry, no cursing until I’m older, I know.” ”Well, I guess we could make an exception, on one condition.” ”What?” ”Don’t tell yer daddy, and I’ll let ye curse as much as ye want tonight and only tonight.” ”And I can still keep my allowance?” ”Aye.” ”And no room arrest tomorrow?” ”Nope. Tonight ye may curse without consequenses, but it’s a one time thing, kiddo, and ye know how yer daddy feel about kids cursing.” ”I’m twelve, I’m not a fucking kid.” Ned smiled and his daughter, who was still more of a kid than she wanted to admit, smiled too, visbly pleased for getting away with cursing. ”So, to get straight to the point, kiddo-no-kid. Yer gonna have periods for like forty years from now on and in the beginning it’s usually pretty irregular, from what I know. Not everyone bleeds the same amount or for the same amount of days...” Ned had done his reading and made a very clinical and surprisingly relaxed explanation about the menstrual cycle, without any unncessesairy details. His daughter was blushing, but didn’t seem to want to run away and hide, so Ned supposed he didn’t make a too terrible job. ”Now, about sex and preggo stuff… Yer not allowed to fuck around until ye’re at least sixteen and for damn good reasons. Number one, and this is if ye’re into boys of course, being a parent in yer teens is not funny at all and while experimenting, lots of teens seem to forget about condoms. Number two, abortions aint very fun either. Number three, which goes with boys and girls, yer mind is still not ready for sex even if ye’ve gotten yer period and yer body is still a childs in a lot of ways. Number four, sexually transmitted dieases suck big time. Ye need a detailed description of’em?” ”No, thanks!” ”So ye know ’bout the importance of condoms?” ”Yes!” ”Then I expect a top grade on that exam in biology classes, or I’ll hold another lesson. With very detailed pics. Got it?” ”Got it.” ”What I mean is, it’s no fucking rush and also illegal for four more years, so no sex what so ever before ye’re sixteen. Alright?” Roisin nodded. ”Good. Oh, and should ye, for some damn reason, break that rule yer dads gonna be really unhappy, but not because of some stupid ass ideas of how girls should or shouldn’t do. Sex aint something to be ashamed or proud of, even if society will make ye think that. So please, please, tell us if ye screw up and remember there are good reasons why ye should wait until it’s legal.” ”Okay, okay! I get it. Are we done now?” ”Only if ye want to take the rest with yer daddy. Believe me, I’ll tell’im exactly where we stopped and where he should continue.” ”I’m not speaking with him!” ”Then ye listen to me a bit more, kiddo, and I know this must feel embarressing, but the alternative is worse. Now, all bodies develop a bit different and in different speed. Try not to compare yerself with other girls, or boys for that matter. No one will get a prize for being first with anything. Ye’re me daughter and me and yer daddy love ye just as ye are. If ye have any questions ’bout anything, ye can always come to us and oh, the most fucking important thing of all…” Ned looked very firmly at his daughter. ”No one, and I mean no one, buck or beour, has any fucking right to touch ye in a way ye don’t like. Get that, Rose? It’s yer body, no matter what and ye and no one else decides what’s alright. And the law, of course, but you get that, Rose. This is fucking important.” ”No one can touch me if I don’t like it.” ”Exactly. If that happens, ye punch that person.” ”Da…” ”Alright, if it’s a stronger person, ye kick his or hers knee or crotch hard and then ye…” ”Run away screaming and tell you and daddy about it.” ”That’s me girl. Now, ye got the important parts now?” ”Uhm… pads and stuff in the blue boxes and I’ll tell when I’m out of it. No more than three painkillers a day when I have cramps, getting pregnant as a teen sucks, sex is illegal until I’m sixteen, kick’em in the crotch bla-bla-bla and ye and daddy will kill guys or girls who wanna fuck.” ”Roisin!” ”Ye said I could curse t’night!” ”I did, but Jesus…” His daughter smiled and Ned held his arms out. His big girl wasn’t too big for a hug yet, thank god. Ned kissed her hair. ”How about ye finish yer chocolate and then tell yer daddy ye don’t really hate’im?” ”Alright, da.” ”And try not to curse, for his sake, alright?” ”I wont.” ”Good girl.” ”Da?” ”Yeah?” ”I don’t have to tell’im, right?” ”Bout the period? Nah, ye do as ye wish. Just because ye can talk to us about it, doesn’t mean ye have to, ye know.”