#and because this url is literally the same everywhere else

[drop--pop--candy]

GAAHHHH it was really silly of me to ask what music you like. it literally slipped my mind that your url is a vocaloid song. i guess i asked because there are so many vocaloid songs, and so many different vibes and sounds, the vocaloid music one likes could differ greatly from that of another. i *do* listen to vocaloid, surprisingly & embarrassingly sparingly, as i'm a proseka fan. but do rule out your prsk-only mutuals. hmm...to give you a hint, my favorite units are mmj and niigo. i have a project sekai url, but i don't talk about it much nowadays >_> mostly because my ipad—what i play on—is on the fritz, and i plan on saving up to buy a new one so i can both play and draw digitally. it has been so saddening, not being able to do either of those things 。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。in terms of proseka characters, you give me saki vibes ! she and shiho are my faves from leoni ♪

drop pop candy is such a cute song! and it's clearly very special to you. i remember listening to it for the first time in an undertale animation on youtube. i think my first vocaloid song was triple baka. i also like a wide range of styles, but i, too, love upbeat and energetic songs like you do. i won't right now because in my last ask i recommended you a whole album, but i'll make sure to send over some energetic kpop songs i think you'll like at some point ♡

CHICKEN TENDERS IS CRAZY LOL & it makes for a very funny story, if i do say so myself! the sugar bit is very telling. it's like i can smell and taste them myself just from the way you described it. do you remember what song you were listening to, or has it since slipped your mind? even if your synesthesia is mild, i still think it's cool! does drop pop candy smell like anything to you?

re: your tags I DO THE SAME THING. emojis, kaomojis & emoticons are perfect punctuation ^^ especially in online spaces, i think. i don't use kaomojis a lot in text because they're a hassle to copy and paste, but i love simple emoticons like :3 and ^_^ as well as emojis. also, it's easy to break up separate thoughts into several messages 🌸

+ the game is on !!!!! yay ! i'll be looking out for yellow hearts in my inbox, then. i'm trying to think of hints that don't make my identity obvious LOL. let's seeee...there aren't any dashes in my url & my favorite sanrio character is kuromi.

one last note: you're not the only person who assigned me leafeon via that game :> my friend reblogged with the tag "im breaking molds im shattering expectations . leafeon" which made me laugh a little to myself. everyone else mostly says sylveon!

i'll make sure to drink some water today ૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა you have a nice morning/afternoon/evening yourself . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

♡, sylvie

OOOOOH okay!!! maybe ill make a list of all the hints i have of u some day :3 (maybe ill do it in the tags? idk)

i have been told i give saki vibes lol she was actually my pfp before i made my blog mirabelle themed ☆w☆ i love her a lot!! she's one of my favorite characters from any piece of media ever so i'm glad people compare me to her :D

i do remember what song triggered the chicken tender thing!! it was empurple, the new mafuyu commission. i'm in a bunch of project sekai servers so people were posting it everywhere right after it came out and on my very first listen i was immediately hit with a wave of Very Specific smell. it was super weird!! because up to that point i hadn't really experienced any bouts of synthesasia that weren't subtle enough to just write off as "my brain playing tricks on me" or something similar @-@

drop pop candy smells like cotton candy!! but it doesn't TASTE like cotton candy, it tastes like,,, birthday cake flavoring? i think that's it. kinda hard to tell it's just Really Sweet

yea!!! on discord i usually use server emojis or just send separate messages but you can't do that when replying to an ask so i just use faces :3

the game is afoot!! i'll add those clues to my mental box of em >:D

oo! i was not expecting that someone else would pick leafeon :o guess i am also breaking molds and expectations HAJSGSHSHD

i will have a nice evening!! i hope u do as well :DDD

[theseprecioushearts]

shotgunshotinthedark => princessharperofdisi => klbex13

I changed it again to make it easier and cos I didn’t really like the harper one.

[thatstormygeek]

Most of the time I post URLs for articles in the comments, but this one is good enough it's getting a reblog of its own

Man it's been rough this week if you're the sort of person who pays attention, in much the same way as every other week. The stuff that's happening makes you sound crazy if you write it out, but it's not conspiracy, it's really just what's happening. We've got a huge cult of creepy religious bigots who are destroying our public schools and our social safety net and our democracy all so they can establish a fascist dictatorship headed by a flagrantly criminal former game show host with a penchant for Nazi rhetoric, in order to harm and control and kill the people their God tells them to harm and control and kill if they want to live in an eternal gated community while the rest of us burn in conscious torment literally forever because we deserve it. They've captured our courts and many of our levers of power in order to enforce their minority rule, and this November we're giving them another in a string of regular opportunities to seize the rest. It's a big yikes, as the kids may or may not say. Let's distract ourselves with something apolitical—the sporting life. Let's talk about sports hero and recent Super Bowl champ Harrison Butker, a man whose name sounds like it is pretend. ... Most controversially, Butker used his time to let all the "ladies" present know that all of them had been led astray by diabolical liars (who may or may not be the same people who Butker believes killed Jesus—Butker wasn't clear on that point). At this point in the speech I was ready to jump on board, because this is an age of diabolical lies and I'm all about speaking simple truths. Unfortunately the thing Butker decided these poor duped lady graduates all needed to know was that they had been mislead into believing that they might have lives and careers outside of their one and only true identities, which is homemaker and mother to the children of some special boy just like Harrison Butker, and that until each of these ladies fulfilled that role, their lives wouldn't really start, as Harrison Butker's wife's life didn't really start until she had Harrison Butker's kids, according to Harrison Butker. But don't take his word for it—she herself says so too. Harrison Butker told us so.

What Chiefs kicker and expert sociologist Harrison Butker is saying is something very important to understand. In order to feel truly free, it's not enough for Harrison Butker and his fellow creepy religious bigots to live in the way they as Christians see fit for themselves. They are going to need to force everyone else to live in whatever way they as Christians see fit to force others to live. They'll use democracy and law in order to do this if they can, but now that most decent people have had it with their shit, they'll demolish democracy and law in order to get it, and their boundless hypocrisy will not serve to shame them but only to comfort them as proof that their supremacy will not be bound. ... The thing is, I started with Harrison Butker's commencement address, but this was just the most recent item to grab. I could have started in a thousand other places. In a time of rising empowered and enabled fascism, fascism can be found everywhere. ... Or I could have started with supreme court justice and longtime bribe enthusiast Sammy Alito and his upside-down flag, the one from a few years back that indicated that he and his wife (whose life started I'm not sure when; maybe we should ask Harrison Butker) are fully captured by the most unhinged parts of the popular "stop the steal" conspiracy, which insists without evidence that the last election was stolen from Don Trump, even as Alito rules in what is supposed to be an unbiased way from the highest court in the land on matters related to this election and the next, and on the fate of the criminal would-be dictator at its center. Alito and his robed gang are modern American fascism's real bulwark—the final reason that this cult of creepy religious bigots really could get their way in the end. There's no law these justices can't abrogate, no protection of citizens they can't demolish with a wave of a manicured hand, for whatever reason they want to make up

When Nazis are on the fringe, you have to really work to be a Nazi—you gotta get out the arm bands and tiki torches and flags and strut around protected by whatever cops couldn't get the day off to join you—the same row of cops who'll someday be beating up anyone who protests you—but once Nazis are in the state capitols and the national government and the high courts, all you need to do in order to be a Nazi is just be willing to go along, and it turns out most people are willing to go along with whatever. And after a while, it's just the air you breathe and the water you swim in, and it takes effort to not be a Nazi. And who likes effort? Fascists know this, by the way. They always do. They're always looking for ways to move out the margins of permission when it comes to harming and controlling people, to make normal today what wasn't normal yesterday. What I'm saying is, we have to realize that we're living in an increasingly fascist land, and start to understand what it means to be antifascist people in a fascist land, and start to thing about the effort that will take. We are going to have to understand that we are dealing with people who have fundamentally and foundationally broken the social contract, which means we are going to have to treat them as if they have broken the social contract. This means is we need to treat people of bad faith as if they are people of bad faith, to begin with. And this means acting in bad faith toward them. ... This is the thing that makes me flirt with despair the most, I think: when people who claim to want good things start with the premise that people like Sam Alito, who have already proved that they are acting in bad faith, are not acting in bad faith, and then proceed to let absolutely nothing change that opinion. Who tell us that we need a strong Republican Party. That the way to deal with police impunity and militarized brutality is to give the police even more money. That despite all the corruption Sam Alito and Clarence Thomas aren't corrupt because they just can't be. That what open fascists want isn't fascism because saying that fascism is fascism is extremist and dangerous in ways that fascism itself is not. It's how you go along with the current. It's how fascism rises; on a tide of goodwill. Here's what I want you to understand today: These Americans who want to kill Americans have, through their intent and actions, already destroyed the thing you want to protect. What you want to protect is already gone. The reason we can't live in a society with them is not because we have any intention to harm or kill them, but because they are eager to kill so many of us that they are willing to destroy society to do it.

You cannot rules-lawyer your way safe from bad faith

*jazz hands*

[rjalker]

I swear to gods

October 5th 2022

we found a kitten. an adorable fucking kitten that's clearly feral but is also friendly because people have been feeding him. He's extremely brave and friendly, and very playful.

We put a post on Facebook to see if anyone would come and catch him, because, again,,we do not have a car so we can't drive him to a shelter, we'd have to find someone to drive us to a shelter with him. I swear.

If you are in or near Savannah, Georgia, and you want a free adorable fucking kitten, please either come catch him yourself or let me know and I will catch him for you.

Literally. Please adopt this adorable child so he doesn't get hit by a car since the place he lives is right next to the very busy road.

I don't have many pictures of his face because he kept ramming it into the camera.

We found him at 14045 Abercorn Street, the parking lot of the mall that's on the side by the McDonalds. There's a little fenced in areas where they keep like, boats and stuff, and he was hanging out on the other side before he came out. This is the same area where I saw a whole litter of black kittens last year.

He's nervous if you're standing, but if you crouch down and hold your hand out he'll come over.

[ID: Two photographs of a white and brown kitten with pale yellow eyes. In the first picture he is looking up at the camera from the grass. In the second he has his side to the camera and half his face out of frame, sniffing towards the camera curiously.

Most of his face is white, as are his legs. On his back, tail, and one ear, he has brown fur with black mackerel stripes.

End ID.]

We are trying not to adopt any more cats right now, since I'm too disabled to work, so we can't take him.

Someone please adopt this adorable little cat and keep him inside. Domestic cats are invasive in North America (and literally everywhere else), and if he's allowed to stay outside, he'll kill native animals, or end up dying young, because, as I mentioned, the very busy road is right there.

He's feral, so he will need to be fixed and vaccinated, but you don't need to pay to get him. All you have to do is bring a carrier or something and some cat treats and he'd probably go right in. Then you just have to bring him to the vet for a checkup and vaccines/fixing. And there you go. Adorable kitten.

If anyone on Facebook responds that they'll take him, I'll update this original post, so if it is a few days after October 5th 2022, click on my url to see the original post and see if there have been any updates.

If you are close enough that you decide to just go catch him yourself, just add onto this post if / when you succeed.

If you can't keep him but you would be willing to take him to a shelter, please for the love of gods do so. Cats do not deserve to be kept outside. It's going to be winter soon and he deserve to have an indoor life where he can be safe and enjoy himself and not murder native wildlife.

[mercuriallatina]

in case something happens to me.......

okay, so i have to share this because i'm starting to feel so unsafe that i've began the process of starting a google doc with all this shit to keep in case something were to happen to me in my real life.

!!!!this is about a man who has been stalking me and pretending to be a lesbian woman from multiple accounts (despite me blocking and clocking every new account) over the course of a year. some of the language i expose can get sexual and sexually violent, so if this is something that may trigger you, please do what you got to do for your mental health including not reading this post past this point!!!!

it first started when i posted to a sapphic blog on here to find other sapphic people. ( @sapphicseekingsapphic - they are aware of this and have been helpful with getting the word out)

how it started: in short, i received a message from "Emily", a 22, lesbian girl living in San Francisco. i hadn't really ever dealt with a catfish before, so i felt overly safe and talked to this account. a lot. we exchanged snap info and talked there too, and we even exchanged nude photos and videos. i talk more about it in length in the post linked to the words of this paragraph but be warned for sexual content. this is the post all about the Emily catfish.

the confession: here is where they randomly came clean about being a catfish to me on litha last year.

this might be the most important part of the whole post: their snapchat username was "baalnayak", and they use it for other socials as well. i had someone compare the ip addresses, and it lines up. (but also.. since revealing the ip address part, they started using something to hide theirs) i 100% suggest preemptively blocking them everywhere possible. don't confront, don't interact. block.

the continued catfishing: over the course of this past year, they have made so many accounts to repeatedly not do this to just me, but sapphic people in general, despite some of us making it adamantly clear we realize what is going on and demanding it to stop. (i'll have a list of all the accounts they've used toward the end.)

**a very short break from this shit ensues for maybe four or so months**

the return:- after the emily aka the electicalbuzz account confessed to being a catfish to me and i brought it to the public attention, they deactivated. disappeared? no. because they were using all these other accounts, but i'm sure they thought it was so discreet. HOWEVER, last month, they had the audacity to make an account called "eclecticalbuzz" (clever, huh?) and literally message me again as someone else despite it being obvious as fuck that it was them. a lot of it was i had changed my url in the few months they left me the fuck alone, and so when they returned, they didn't realize i was me.

other people coming forward: obviously, i updated my previous posts and got the word out, including messaging sapphicseekingsapphic. because of this, a few other people came forward with the same stories and helped spread the word about their new urls on here. i am thankful for them, but i will not be the one telling you all who these other victims are. if they want to reveal who they are, they can, but i am not about to put other people in potentially dangerous situations. some of them have already publicly made it known who they are, but i find no need to reiterate their identities.

this shit continues: so in just the past month, i have been messaged by this person on maybe four or five new accounts. there are very, very, VERY specific things this person does on all their accounts that constitute the glaring red flags. these specific things, the weird timing, and confirmed ip addresses of the earlier accounts are all the confirmation i need. i will not be publicly listing off their habitual red flags because they probably are reading this right now, and i don't need them to be self-aware in that sense.

here are the list of urls and social media handles that they have used!!! any active urls that have not been confirmed are not listed:

electicalbuzz (deactivated) (tumblr)

eclecticalbuzz (deactivated) (tumblr)

flowers-of-gay (tumblr)

theforestriver (deactivated) (tumblr)

ninacef (tumblr)

bugzation (tumblr)

johnvalent1no (deactivated) (tumblr)

sarahhh902 (snapchat)

baalnayak (snapchat)

**there are quite a few active accounts i am highly suspicious of but have yet to confirm, so they are not on the list... yet.

alright, this is it for now. if you read all of this or helped in any other way, THANK YOU. if you have any new or even just corroborating information about ANY of this, send me a private message if you're comfortable.

signal boost this if you feel okay to do so, and stay safe.

[adelle-ein]

amirnizuno -> elinciacrimea

because a) why not use the same url i have literally everywhere else b) i’m never going to get amimizuno and i might as well have an Actually Canon Name c) i do admittedly post a lot more FE than SM these days. and for the last few years. oops

still love ami mizuno very much, she’s still all over my theme, still a multifandom blog, no other changes are being made, the old url is set to redirect so there shouldn’t be any issues or broken links whatsoever (but let me know if there are), xox

[dearhaos]

bye bye 2020, hello 2021 !!

happy new year everyone!! there’s a lot of people i want to thank for making last year so much more bearable so i tried writing some messages for some of my dearest mutuals this year as well!! (keyword tried because i absolutely cannot put my feelings and thoughts into words. i love you all though and thank you so so so much!!!)

@angelhyunjin : angi!! i know you’re not on here anymore (actually i just found out . i ran to twt to find u as quick as i could!!) but it felt weird not?? putting you on here because you WERE a big part of my year!! i was always excited to chat with you and i rlly rlly loved (still do) seeing your art and your dance covers i can’t believe how talented at both you are!! you are really really lovely and even if it’s been a while i hope you know i still think of you and hope you’re doing well!! this year might have been hard but i hope 2021 will be much nicer to you because you definitely deserve it!! i love you!! 

@cinanamon : stephie!! i think we haven’t talked in a while until we started suddenly bonding over minho but all is well that ends well because now we are the founders of a minho cult and that’s all i could hope for in life i think! we don’t talk that much but seeing your tags in all the minho posts is always a TIME i absolutely love reading them! thank you for being there to lose it over minho, always, but also for being there in general! you are really sweet and i do love to talk to u!! i also know you are a really good writer so i hope 2021 brings you lots of inspiration to write more!! (and i’ll finally catch up on your fics too! hehe) happy new year!! 

@cocogoat : puppy !! i think we haven’t been friends for long actually and that sounds fake because that would mean there was a time i didn’t instinctively check your blog when i woke up in the morning (or the evening let’s be real)?? you are so! adorable and for what!!!!!! i really do love seeing you pop up in my phone notifs and reading your posts even if i dont have any idea what they’re saying half of the time unless it’s dgrp (i cannot believe i have a dgrp friend now. amazing i think i won) u are so funny and so cute and i’m really glad i got to know you because!! you’re such a nice friend that i! love! times can be hard but i hope 2021 is gentle with you because that is! what! you deserve! gentle pats and tight hugs! (maybe that’s why i associate ab6ix’s heaven with you it’s the gentle vibes) <3

@glossiers : miss bri i am in love w u that’s it. no i’m kidding that’s not it i have much more to say . i am in lov w u though #brillie2k21 i think. i think it’s been a surprisingly short time since we’ve actually started talking?? which is kinda crazy if u ask me because?? how the hell did i live my life without screaming BRIIIII whenever i see u on the dash like for real how . that sounds like a life so empty like. that would rlly be missing . something?? anyways u are a dear dear friend that i really really love and i’m sure you know that but i will keep saying it anyway! i’m sure i’m pretty annoying so thanks for putting up with me! and for talking to me! i feel like i’ve said it before but! you are a delight to see on the dash and i lovlovlov talking to u (and sending u pics of my cats, thank u for appreciating them). i still cannot believe u managed to convince yourself i was a hyeongjun stan though. hope i can be convincing enough to clear that up and leave no doubts in your brain this year. anyways i love you and i hope we can continue to be friends and talk even MORE this year!!!!!! happy new year ilu <3

@hwacinth : miss dia my sweet sweet floral nymph real life shirayuki and queen of urls! i am? so so so so so glad that we are friends you literally have my heart it is YOURS i can’t even try to claim it back!! you literally are shirayuki i don’t even know how to elaborate i think it’s just self-explanatory but you are just. such a sweet little sunshine!! it’s like you bring spring everywhere you go!! we could be in a middle of a metaphorical storm but when you appear the skies clear up and flowers bloom wherever you step and i cannot help but smile when i see you online!! thank you so so much for being my little ray of sunshine in these tough times! i hope to see even more of your posts this year!! don’t hesitate to live blog anything you watch in my dms if you feel like you’re posting too much (but i hope you never feel that way because you’re not . love seeing u live post it is absolutely amazing i won’t ever get tired of it)!! happy new year and i love you!! ps only 1 more hour until your birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA ILUUU <3 I HOPE YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE!! IM SENDING YOU CAKE TELEPATHICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@hwisgf : sorinaaaa! happy new year!! we don’t talk that much but it is always nice seeing you around! you are vv sweet and i really appreciate that, thank you for taking the time to talk to me sometimes!! you are also probably my only fantasy mutual?? which is terrible on one side because i think everyone should stan sf9 but that’s besides the point . i really do love the fact that i at least have u to talk to abt sf9 if need and i LOVE seeing u in love with hwi it is absolutely amazing. i am forever grateful for all the free hwi pics days too!! <3 i hope 2021 can be a year full of happiness for you!! (also that is also besides the point but @ fnc i want an sf9 cb announcement) ILY!! (and so does hwi)

@inkigayeo : miss vivi galaxy brain happy new year!! we only started talking recently but u do have my heart already!! i hope this year treats you well and that we can get to know each other more and be friends hehe!!!! <3 (my other wish is for u to stop breaking my heart with those fake titles. please . why should san NOT come back explain yourself .)

@jeongcheols : mimi . mimi mimi mimi im literally typing this as u are listening to that ten n dj stage ok now it’s kai ok anyways . ANYWAYS i am loving your sm concert live commentary . criminal is sounding amazing taemin is insane indeed (yes i took a break before coming back to writing this) i truly don’t know what to say?? n i have to keep watching the time so that i can scream HAPPY NEW YEAR into the mic in 14 minutes. but like?? i love you?? like. like for real i don’t know what i would’ve done without you?? also it’s weird writing this for tumblr instead of just in your messages (also i can’t focus with idea playing. idea soty). and i mean. you technically know all of this but like?? i can’t believe we’ve known each other for so long but also such a short time at the same time like. what. thank you for being my bestestest friend and my soulmat i don’t think i would’ve been able to remain sane this year (and last year too honestly) if it wasn’t for you?? thank you for always listening to my incoherent rants and i’m always so sorry for spamming you while you’re asleep i know you must wake up to like 150+ messages with absolutely no connection between them and they’re all just so random i truly don’t know how you manage to not get annoyed and to just stay with me all this time i’m- getting emotional. you had a terrible year, i know it! i really do!! and while it might not be looking too bright right now, i hope the universe hears me and treats you much better in 2021 because!! you deserve so much more!! you deserve the world, really!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i would write more really but like what is there to say literally i’m just (your emoji)) i love you for real;;

@nakyngs : ele <3 happy new year!!!!!! we haven’t talked much this year but i do think of u a lot daily i hope you know that!! and i love u a lot! even if i still need to catch up on all your aus </3 i hope 2021 can be a fun and stress-free year for you!! and we should catch up sometime too!! ps i hope your fish are ok

@ncityzen : dear spring fairy!! i already sent you a new year’s message earlier today like what. 6 hours ago but! once again!! i really do hope you can leave the hard times behind in 2020 and only get the best things possible this new year!! i’m always very happy to see you appear on my dash and curious to see your life updates and your random literature-related mini-rants in the tags they are always very interesting to see!! so! hoping to see even more of that this year <3 i hope you know that i love you and i really care about you!!

@woojjongs : MISS IRI! i am screaming this very loud so hopefully u can hear me all the way in canada! okay i had to leave this one for last because i?? don’t really know how to start i’m just a pink glittery puddle with lil hearts flowing in it that is how i feel towards u right now . how does one think and how does one write down their thoughts coherently give me a second. this is going to be a mess maybe u shouldn’t read it (‘accidentally’ forgets to tag u). just know that i decided to play txt’s wishlist to write this and u might be confused by that but all u need to know is that it means i love you very much. OKAY so miss iri you are . such a wonderful pal i truly don’t know what i would’ve done without you like . it would feel so weird not seeing you around tumblr would be so so so so empty i don’t even think you can begin to imagine how empty i’d feel without you around here ksdjbskbds i absolutely adore you but we already knew that. i’m always super excited to see your gifsets and your nonsense!! be it your love for woojong or u missing lim jimin (play m.. 🔪) or your snoo brainrot or hating literally anyone on smtm or whatever else it might be i love it all!! you are so cute and adorable and talented and sweet and funny i cannot believe you also happen to be the prettiest person on earth too. how does that feel! anyways i love you so so so so so much? i keep telling you to hold back from committing crimes but i absolutely WOULD commit a crime for u i really do adore you!! i mean . how many groups did u make me stan . (ok actually i don’t think there’s that many. but STILL) i know i can be super annoying but thank u for taking the time to chat with me nonetheless!! i’m all over the place but . there’s times i come online literally just to check your blog nothing else! i hope we can continue to be friends this year too n perhaps talk more (or the same amount idk please tell me off when i’m too annoying)!! happy new year, i hope it holds wonderful things in store for u!!!!!! and we really are starting off great since victon comeback is approaching <3 (this got way too long i’m so sorry i’ll cut it off now before i write 10 pages)

@xiaocity : miss siya hello hello hello first of all i’m just so very glad that you’re back i l o v e you!!! i love seeing you around be it your gifs or your text posts which yes. i cannot properly understand half of the time but google is my best friend after all! you’re such a wonderful person and i’m just?? really glad to have you around like?? you feel kind of like a cousin i don’t always get to see but am always excited to talk to when i can? this might not make sense but. you are vvv cool and talented and funny and feel very like. reliable? i feel like i am not making any sense so like ignore me. what i’m saying is i really really like you a whole lot and i really hope we can talk even more in 2021!! happy new year, i hope it’s a wonderful one for you!!

@yunwoo : miss anna we haven’t been moots for that long and we haven’t talked much but u are vvv cute and i hope we can become (better) pals this year!! i’m looking forward to seeing u on the dash more often, hopefully!! happy new year <3

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

** Writing Challenge **

I know, I know, my next one isn’t quite wrapped up yet, buttttt this idea came to me when my cousin and I were taking a walk down a ridiculous part of Memory Lane and I got excited. I’m guessing this has been done before at some point -- that’s not stopping me from presenting to you: 

I love fluff. And I wanna see more of it! 

Below the cut you will find some prompts that, in the context of Twilight, are absolutely cringe-worthy. My challenge to you is to take that prompt and make it something we can love. 

Disclaimer: I’m not Twilight-shaming ANYONE. I literally sat and watched all of Eclipse and now want to watch both Breaking Dawns. It’s more about sentiment, and the occasional girly giggle for me, but ... yeah. No judgement here, friends. 

Guidelines, prompts, and tags are below the cut! (Yes, I copied and tweaked from my last writing challenge. I’m being efficient, thank you! :P )

Please read all of the information carefully!

Rules, Guidelines, Important Dates:

Sign-Ups start when this post is live and will go through to December 30, 2020. I will accept two people for each prompt, one prompt per author.

Please send your sign-ups to my ask box so they’re easier to keep track of. I will answer them privately so I’m not flooding anyone’s dash!

In your ask, please include your preferred prompt and a backup option, as well as your pairing (so I don’t take the same pairing for the same prompt). Also, please let me know if you’ll be posting from a URL other than one you’re asking from.

To be included in the challenge masterlist, please post your fic (or the first part, if it’s a series) by Decemeber 31, 2020.

Please include an author’s note tagging me and mentioning the challenge in your fic post; include #BetterThanTwilightWC in the first five tags. If the tag doesn’t work, you may DM the link to me, also. If you decide to write a series, please tag me in the masterlist.

Please give me up to 48 hours to read your fic before checking if I have seen it. If I have not liked it after 48 hours, please DO check. (You know, since we’re all aware of how unreliable tumblr is. And how unreliable my mind can be. Yikes.)

The challenge masterlist will be posted between January 1 and January 4, 2020.

There are no word count limits, but please use the Keep Reading feature if your story goes beyond 500 words. Additionally, if your fic goes beyond 5000 words, please consider splitting it into multiple parts. This is not a requirement, only something to think about.

Yes, this is a FLUFF challenge, so you MUST have fluff as your main genre. You’re more than welcome to include other genres, but you MUST have a happy and/or hopeful ending.

You’re welcome to think outside of the box! Just because I’m talking Twilight and love stories, doesn’t mean there has to be romance! Give me  amazing friendships or strong family bonds or self-love. Or romance! Whatever you’d like. 

You're welcome to change pronouns in the prompt as necessary! Heck, I tweaked a few of ‘em so they’re not Twilight-specific.

For personal reasons, I do not read and will not accept into the challenge (which means I will not reblog or add to the masterlist) stories that include: non-con/dub-con, underage sex, adult-child romantic/sexual relationships, spouse-bashing, child abuse – I could go on, but I think you get the idea. If you’re not sure about something, I’m always happy to answer questions!

Bring on the ships, OC’s, reader pairings – I’m trying to be more open-minded as of late, but I can’t promise that I will read everything. Again, for personal reasons. But I will reblog everything! 

Characters and RPFs from Marvel/MCU are both welcome. 

If you need an extension or need to drop out, please know that I am extremely flexible when it comes to that deadline/due date. In the words of Captain Barbosa, “It’s really more of a guideline.” Just shoot me an ask or a message and we’ll work something out, no worries! 

Prompts: 

1. “I have always loved you, and I will always love you.”  2. “The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.”  3. “I know what you are.”  4. “You held out your hand and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing.” 5. “You have a connection with her that I’ll never understand.” 6. “I’m glad she has you.” 7. “It will be like I never existed. I promise.” 8. “I knew who I wanted to be. I wanted to help people. Brings me happiness.” 9. “That will take a while to get used to.” “We have a while.” 10. “What if I’m not the hero? What if I’m the bad guy?” 11. “I’d rather hear your theories.” 12. (sarcastically) “Super. That makes me really happy.” 13. “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.” 14. “Maybe I shouldn’t be dating such an old man. It’s gross. I should be thoroughly repulsed.” 15. “It’s an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bare your soul to and they’ll accept you for what you are.” 16. “I’ve been waiting for what seems like a very long time to get beyond what I am.” 17. “I feel like I can finally begin.” 18. “He’s totally gorgeous, obviously. But apparently nobody here is good enough for him.” 19. “He did say I couldn’t step inside the door. I came in through the window.” 20. “I know things. Like how to hunt somebody to the ends of the earth. And I know how to use a gun.” 21. “Now I’m afraid.” “Good.” 22. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m only afraid of losing you.” 23.  “About three things I was absolutely positive ...” 24. “You’re so stubborn.” 25. “Do you know how worried I’ve been?” 26. “I can’t even think about someone hurting you.” 27. “The only thing that can hurt me is you, and I don’t have anything else to be afraid of.” 28. “Don’t antagonize her. She’s the strongest one in the house.” 29. “All right. That’s enough experimenting for one day.” 30. “It never made sense for you to love me.” 31. “I wish there had been someone to vote no for me.” 32. “It’s just a little baby.” 33. “How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?” 34. “I’m not missing another fight!” 35. “No one can hide like me.” 36. “If I asked you to stay in the car, would you?” 37. “I have one condition, if you want me to do it myself.” 38. “I had an adrenaline rush. It’s very common. You can Google it.” 39. “How did you get in here?” “The window.” 40. “I love a happy ending. They are so rare.” 41. “You should put your seatbelt on.” 42. “Can you talk about something else? Distract me so I won’t turn around.” 43. “I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist.” 44. “After all the thousand times I’ve told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?” 45. “Maybe that’s why they kicked me out.” 46. “All of my best nights have happened since I met you.” 47. “You know everybody’s staring?” “Not that guy ... no, he just looked.” 48. “She wishes she was that awesome.” 49. “Does he visit often?” “Yeah, all the time.” 50. “Lie ... Lie better.” 51. “I’m Switzerland.” 52. “That should have been our first kiss.” 53. “Would you like to hear my story? It doesn’t have a happy ending -- but which of ours does?” 54. “Another party?” “It’ll be fun.” “Yeah. That’s what you said last time.” 55. “You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. I will always be yours.” 56. “The way he watches you. It’s like he’s willing to leap in front of you and take a bullet or something.” 57. “Kill me! Not him!” 58. “Stay.” “Give me one good reason.” 59. “Yeah, it’s and off day when I don’t get somebody telling me how edible I smell.” 60. “Damn it! You’ll be the death of me, I swear you will.” 61. “If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not afraid of it.” 62. “Do I dazzle you?” 63. “I’m tired of trying to stay away from you.” 64. “Bring on the shackles, I’m your prisoner.” 65. “You are my life now.” 66. “And then we continued blissfully into this small, perfect piece of our forever.” 67. “Nobody’s ever loved someone as much as I love you.” 68. “I don’t know what happened.” “You love him.” 69. “All of sudden it’s not gravity holding you to the planet, it’s her. Nothing else matters. You would do anything, be anything for her.” 70. “You really love her?” 71. “I don’t see the whole point of the rest of the world without her.” 72. “Then I found a promising site ... I waited impatiently for it to load, quickly clicked closed each ad that flashed across the screen. Finally, the screen finished -- simple, white background with black text; academic-looking. Two quotes greeted me on the homepage:” 73. “I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” 74. “I’ll be fighting for her, too, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.” 75. “It’s always been him.” 76. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you.” 77. “They’re coming for her.” “They’re not gonna touch her.” 78. “Doesn’t he own a shirt?” 79. “You know, if it weren’t for the fact that we’re enemies and that you’re also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you.” 80. “You have disappeared. Like everything else.” 81. “The absence of him is everywhere I look.” 82. “I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore.” 83. “Your number was up the first time I met you.” 84. “We all like to drive fast.” 85. “It’s too easy to be myself with you.” 86. “I’ve never given much thought to how I’d die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go.” 87. “Don’t tempt me too far. My patience isn’t that perfect.” 88. “His tone questions my sanity, but it only made me more suspicious. It was like a perfect delivered line by a skilled actor.” 89. “What’s he mad about?” 90. “No measure of time with you will ever be enough.” 91. “I promise to love you forever, every single day of forever.” 92. “We’re gonna be great friends!” 93. “If I had my way, I would spend the majority of my time kissing him.” 94. “Until your heart stops beating.” 95. “I touched the cool miracle of his ski, and I was home.” 96. “Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk.” 97. “This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes.” 98. “Leave it to you ... you have to start hanging out with the first weirdos you can find.” 99. “I love him much more than I should, and yet still nowhere near enough.” 100. “I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes.”

Tags for possible interest/signal boosting (if you’re so inclined): 

 @captain-s-rogers​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​​​​​​​​​ @hurricanerin​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @horsesandbandsforlife​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @im-not-an-armrest-im-short​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @captain-rogers-beard​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @shynara51​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @sea040561​​​​​​​​​​​​​  @pinknerdpanda​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xtina2191​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @jackryanplz​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @beakami​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @heartsaved​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @fullprunerebelstatesman​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @blackwidowismyhomegirl​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @the-murder-strut-murdered-me​​​​​​​​​​​​​  @shield-agent78​​​​​​​​​​​​​  @jennmurawski13​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @okay-maybe-i-like-marvel-too​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[flameontheotherside]

Would we have met?

Watching The Lake House it got me thinking....I worked my way through the passwords, trial and error getting access to the internet at home, AOL was passworded back then so I figured you can enter a url in the address part of file explorer and bingo it became Netscape. It relied on the phone lines but I was able to get online without AOL! I joined groups, forums and blog sites. I couldn't understand who or why I felt the need to find. Never bothered to ask anyone since it wasn't something I could articulate. Especially at 13.

Since 13, I learned how to code small websites and eventually modded existing codes for things like WordPress, xmb, vBulletin, and other forums or CMS systems software. 🙄 Now I run a Facebook clone for intuitives. So I became very active and created several website communities including Witchblr.Com but it's not with the same intent. This time it's just kind of another crapshoot concept. I was hellbent on creating a world wide network hoping I'd find Erik somehow. I've had several sites that became popular long ago. Did it all without spending a dime and without needing a special class. My mom had an old HTML text book I stole from her as well as a graohic design one. ☺ Thats how I learned basic coding and graphic design. Now that I'm pretty proud of. Not bad for a kid!

We could have met and I'd have no idea.

Twin flames are not so cut and dry! People put on these ideas and they all sound silly. It's not what people think. We know nothing about the TF experience because it's literally a case by case scenario! Its right there in front of us that everyone's story is different. No two people will have the same experiences. It's illogical to make the assumption that we don't! It would be nice if I knew when I knew it, but thats if we ever really met online.

I don't want to fucking know! I had one long distance bf who was a lot like Erik. We met on an artist site where I posted my "photography", poems, lyrics and short stories. We pretty much talked all the time. He had a lot of problems. One night he was telling me some fucked up shit that happened. I just cried for him and he was shocked. We both just sat there on the phone crying. I had a paranoia that he's kill himself. He was that bad.

Things got real quiet...

...Because he stopped answering my emails, it appeared he had blocked me everywhere and I didn't know why. It took me a while to realize he had sent me an email on an old account a while back explaining he had to let me go. I thought he was a coward for not letting me get my piece. I couldn't respond and it wasn't fair.

However, it was a relief that as of that time, he was still alive, was doing well and moving forward in life (he's an author now) but he wanted absolutely nothing from me. There was something else but it's too much to explain. For a minute I convinced myself he was my tf because he's alive. Only because he was alive and I didn't want to believe my TF was dead. But TF wasn't the world I thought of because I didn't believe in them.

Since this journey began I think about that guy.

I think about him because he could have been Erik. Even David who was from Texas. All these long distance relationships I had with the intent on finding Erik. All I knew was he didn't live in Florida and time was running out. In 2006, David basically used me and came down to basically fuck a girl who was still in high school. I had just turned 18 by the way.

Then he left and married someone two months later.

That was the reason I couldn't keep looking anymore. So I wrote that letter to Erik's Guardian Angels coincidentally on his birthday in 2007. I wrote that I was still very hurt by David. It took five years to get over it. He ruined my life. I lost my friends over it and a misunderstanding which became known in my last year of high school. I couldn't finish my 12th year because of the heavy bullying by even my old friends.

I couldn't go anywhere. Not even the mall! I'd walk past my old group of friends and they pointed and laughed at me. So I only worked, went to school, and I stayed online. My online friends kept me alive basically. I started playing World of Warcraft and to me it was another way to meet people and of course Erik was on my mind.

Online friends stopped being a thing after 2008.

College and work occupied my time. Even though I never got my GED, they allowed me in. Sounds fishy right? Turns out they were a scam school. Then my mom got colon cancer twice. Shortly after that, I had my internship. I was actually active on just one site instead of a handful just to post my artwork. I used OkCupid to look for fast flings after I finished with my schooling. Looking for Erik was a stupid idea. Gave it all up. Figured, if he wants to find me, he will. I believed in that letter.

Until...

...the call with a psychic who predicted his death early 2009. I was devastated and shut down. That's when I stopped caring altogether. I stopped getting online and started living my life outside of the internet. I didn't get into alcohol heavily until 2010 and 2 year stint with drugs until 2012.

Am I glad we never met?

Assuming we never met, yes, I'm glad. If we had known each other, I wouldn't be here. Knowing myself and how I would try to fix and help Brendan before he dropped me, how I would always be there, or how worried and miserable I was before I found his goodbye email. Let's say Erik and I met and we were very close and closer... I can say two things: I'd either have killed myself or be in a state hospital. I would have blamed myself to the full for Erik's suicide even though the psychic said there was no way I could stop it. I would have tried. Would break my neck for him.

Yes, repeating myself because I can say this days million times: Looking back at my relationship with Brendan, I KNOW I would have loved and cared for Erik just as much or MORE. I literally was at Brendan's every whim. Dropped everything if he needed me. Even though he'd have his disappearing acts ever so often (with pissed me off but I was never actually mad at him), I was always there and in part of that last email he wrote me, he said he'd never forget how I was to him. What I would think about whenever any of my friends were in trouble is...

What if they were me?

I put myself in their shoes. Me and Erik have pretty close to parallel experiences. But Brendan was the only one I deeply deeply cared about before Erik's death. He was there for me after David too. Turns out we (Brendan and I) have a small karmic history. Anyway again, thinking about how I was to Brendan, if Erik had waited I would have been that to Erik no question. No hesitation.

PERIOD!

All of this is the biggest part of why this journey is so hard.

[liberatingreality]

Nowadays, it seems like Tumblr is ruthlessly criticized, mocked, and dismissed as irrelevant by just about everyone and anyone even vaguely aware of it’s existence, and I certainly have my own grievances with regards to what much of the culture on here has degenerated into; however, Tumblr is the only social media platform I use that, to this day, hasn’t made an effort to censor my writing or manipulate algorithms to hide my content and covertly banish me.

Youtube Demonetized my videos for being “too controversial” without any further elaboration on the legitimacy of this claim. For about two years, I or anyone else was unable to post my website url on Instagram in a caption or even send it as a message; same with posting it in a status or messaging it on Facebook. Any attempts would be cited as “abuse” with some faceless entity explaining to me that what I’m doing is a “threat to the online community”.

I suppose campaigning a perspective and lifestyle that’s conducive to the health and autonomy of the individual, is actually somewhat threatening to a community, that is, a kind of dystopian community whose participants are content to remain as insignificant and irrelevant as possible.

Instagram recently removed some of my content as “hate speech” because someone somewhere was offended by something for some reason, much like literally anything can be for any reason to anyone anywhere. Again, no explanation. Let’s just remove everything from everywhere and sit in silence.

Scroll through the content on my page, and compare what you observe with other media, entertainment, and information outlets, that not only remain uncensored, but are encouraged in mainstream social forums. Despite the gratuitous violence and malice between people depicted throughout essentially all media, for example, I’ve apparently crossed a line by critiquing perspectives, cultural norms, and providing strategies for others to live a more fulfilling life.

Think about that.

[cuaviaaceves1]

Some stuff about me... I guess

Was tagged on this and I’m feeling a bit sociable right now... So thank you @red-cape-morgana​ for the tag. Lol

 Rules: Answer 30 questions about yourself and tag 20 others you wanna know more about 😊 (I think... I’m not gonna do that, because I have no idea who to tag, but feel free to share with the world a bit about yourself, it’s always nice to read and find out about everyone)

Name/Nickname: I’ve had so many different ones, that are mostly mispronunciations of my name... But most people just call me Cuavia.  (Let’s just say it got turned into Kobaria at some point.... yeah)

Gender: She/her 

Star Sign: Taurus, although supposedly there’s a chard? Still don’t get that part really well. Also Ravenclaw with lots of heart, if that means anything for anyone. 

Height: 1m64 (5′4 I think) ... I know it’s not really short. But I'm still bitter about it because everyone in my family are literal giants. 

Time: Noon 

Birthday: May 1st 

Favorite bands/groups:  It really changes from time to time... But some I enjoy are The Cranberries, Garbage, Jukebox The Ghost, Pomplamoose, Muse... And I’ll leave it at that.

Favorite solo artist: Again, it changes, lets go with... Alice Merton, Betty Who, Janelle Monáe, Sigrid and Sara Bareilles

Song stuck in my head: LazyBaby by Dove Cameron

Last Movie: I think it was The Night Clerk

Last Show: Supergirl is a given... but also, Snowpiercer, pretty good.

When did I create this blog: I have no idea... it’s been a while tho.

What do I post: It’s mostly my own art, but I share some stuff I find really cool from time to time. 

Last thing I Googled: Pictures of medieval armors (imagine the meme “for the plot” going here but it says “for reference”) 

Other blogs: Maybe... 

Do I get asks: Not very social, as you may know. So... not really.

Why I chose my URL: I did not choose this URL the URL chose me when I was born (or my mom, you choose) but it is my real name... with the number 1 because some places require numbers on the users and this way it’s the same everywhere. 

Following: 903

Followers: 867

Average hours of sleep: what’s sleep? (okay no... maybe 5? 7 if it’s a full moon and I’m lucky or something)

Lucky number: 1, 5 and 15

Instruments: Big nope. I did play the Melodic at some point... and then thought I would try the guitar, but life happened and I stoped my interaction with music all together until I started listening to it again fairly recently. (Maybe should have gone with “It’s complicated” huh?)

What am I wearing: Lavender shorts, loose t-shirt and these nice sandals I just got. 

Dream job: Comic book artist

Dream trip: Just... one?

Favorite food: Just ONE!? (maybe pasta... or sushi... or waffles... or... )

Nationality: Mexican that wishes to just be somewhere else because feels like she’s not really from here.

Favorite song: Again, just onE!? Fine, let’s go today with “You Need a Puppy” by Resa

Last book I read: Fiction: “The Eye, The hand and The Heart” by Zoë  Marriott/ NonFiction: “TheTipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell.

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: Tough question... Percy Jackson / Avatar (preferably Korra’s time) / DC Universe

[butchhamlet]

the tempest and all’s well?

THANK YOU!!

THE TEMPEST: Which play do you cry the most about? Why?

[looking uneasily at my url] well.

look i KNOW hamlet is a cop-out because that’s the one EVERYONE cries over but. god damn does hamlet hit different literally every time. and, like, obviously hamlet, Icon Of Gay Mentally Ill Shakespeare Fans Everywhere, is the character that kills me the most, but the the is that i can cry over 90% of the characters in hamlet. equal opportunity emotions up in here. i have no sympathy for polonius and i have varying feelings toward hamlet sr and claudius, but, like, everyone else i can get worked up about to an unreasonable degree. hamlet as a play and as a character both make me lose my shit.

alternatively. king lear for many of the same reasons!!! literally almost every character in king lear has an arc that gets me worked up; like, king lear’s emphasis on love, and the way it’s a play about a lot of people trying very hard to be loved (and also to kill each other but that’s, like, secondary) one-shots me. if i think about the lear sisters or the gloucester boys too hard it’s an instakill

ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL: Which ending do you like best of the plays?

i had to actually look for my own list of what i’ve read again to answer this f

i. i hate to say “hamlet and king lear” AGAIN but i think the absolute tragedy of those endings works so well for the tone and for the character arcs. like, in both cases, the implications of this kingdom being entirely shattered, and the ending image of a few lone survivors standing in the wreckage... like, does it destroy me? yes. do i come up with intricate plots and scenarios in my own brain where everybody lives and there’s a happy ending? of course. but canonically it is simply so effective and so good.

alternatively, i’ve been on a macbeth kick again lately and... the ending of macbeth is just unsatisfying enough that it actually works. like, macbeth is so very much about things not fitting together, and there are holes missing in the story (the fact that we never see duncan die is smthn i think about a lot), and so the uneasiness of the unanswered questions (what happens to macduff now? is the kingdom really stable? What About Fleance) is like... tasty. that said i will always be a little bitter that lady macbeth’s death is given, like, one line of focus in the last scene

[dreamscatch]

tag game

🥰🥰💕 i was tagged by @xingsus and also @hansjisung tagged me to a very similar one recently too (it’s not the exact same but they had some same questions so i’m just gonna go ahead and do this ajshkfj)

name: vee

nicknames: that one ^ is already a nickname even though only my brother and tumblr mutuals use it and everyone else uses my actual name :’D

zodiac: cancer

height: 162-3cm i think?

languages: finnish, english, swedish and i did take a japanese course once but i have forgotten the whole language :’) i’m gonna learn it again at some point i hope!!

nationality: finnish

fav season: autumn and winter

fav flower: i’ve never really thought about it

fav scent: vanilla, lime and rose

fav fictional character: fucking edward elric i guess also diana prince & tony stark & neil josten

coffee, hot tea or hot chocolate: hot tea

average sleep: 8-9h though last night i slept like 6h ugh

dogs or cats: both are good, i’ve never had any pets so i’m not overly attached to either one

number of blankets: one

dream trip: japan one day hopefully! also new zealand

blog established: i want to say either 2013 or 2015 and i’m too lazy to check

random fact: i basically just started a 2 week break from uni because there’s winter break and after that i go to amsterdam so i won’t be attending any lectures then either 😅

gender: woman

current time: 14.15

fav artists: eden, jeremy zucker, syml, the weeknd, lauv, billie eilish, vérité, lorde, sam smith uuhmm i spend all my time listening to music and this list goes on and on and on

stuck in my head: the weeknd after hours (gosh this song is amazing)

last movie i saw: idk what’s the official name of that movie but it was the sequel to ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’

last thing i googled: guitar chords to blackbird by the beatles

other blogs: i have a studyblr and a blog where i dump things that i need to read later 😅

do i get asks: i’ve had some great discussions with some anons/anon (idk if it’s from the same person askhjh) recently but that’s about it!

reason for url: oh sehun is important also i apparently have some sort of a thing for the word serendipity so i have to include that word everywhere i guess

followers/following: i have 2107 followers and apparently i follow 1169 blogs :o

lucky number: 19 and 7. it’s my birthday and i literally see the number 197 or 1907 everywhere

currently wearing: a pink college shirt and dress pants 

dream job: no idea ashdkfj future seems distant

fav foods: chicken, pizza, ice cream

instruments: i play the piano, guitar & ukulele and can also make somewhat reasonable sounds out of a lot of other instruments (like i just remembered that i played the drums for a band in high school for a while shdkj)

fav song: all time fav song is end credits by eden and current fav song is island by amber run

i tag my pals @loverserendipity @sugarplummeting @kiing-pip if u guys want to do this (no pressure 🧡)

[ninesoftkids]

ship ur mutuals with skidz! bringing this ask meme back cause y not! friendship! woo! 💓❤️💓💖💗💕💞❣️💗❤️💞❣️

Aayyy, I love these asks! Unfortunately, Stray Kids only has nine members :( so I’ve finished the rest of my mutuals with other idols I think fit! I hope that’s ok lmao. Right. (It’s gonna be quite long so i’m going to insert the line thingy) Here we gooooo :D

·        Woojin – Andy. Thefirst person to fight your corner, but sometimes they lack belief inthemselves. An essential part of our family, just like Woojin. One of the mostcaring people I’ve met, but also definitely one of the most chaoticallyencouraging people ever. Don’t let them eat the trees. @haknveons

·        Minho – Roxi. Two bubblypeople with serious visuals! But don’t let their cuteness fool you – there’sdemons hidden beneath the angel exteriors. Just as Roxi loves to both hurt andheal us with gorgeous pictures of our faves, Minho loves to tease. The push-and-pullrelationship. Roxi the Angel, and Minho the Devil. But he cares deeply, andwould always listen to whatever worries you had. You can expect cute good nightmessages and missed Skype calls that are made up with a thousand nose kisseswhen you finally see each other. The Opposites Attract Couple @lxx-fxlix

·        Chan – Syd. Bluntand honest, forthright with their beliefs, I think Chan and her would have amazingphilosophical arguments that would end in cuddles and Disney on the sofa whilethey throw popcorn at each other. Chan could teach you Korean, and you canteach him your slang :D Also that height difference would be cute af. @hwarang-my-loves

·        Hyunjin – Mer. Twoanimal lovers with visuals to merder. 😉 You share the cutestgiggles and are always down for pillow forts and cuddle piles. Fancy dinnerwho? Give you two pizza and some fluffy dogs and you’re good to go. You’d takethe best pictures of each other and you’d be the Aesthetic Couple @softstan4softboys

·        Changbin – Liz. Edgelord?Bitch, where? Like Changbin, your aesthetic is the opposite of your personality.You’re both whole dorks who love fiercely and are genuinely amazing people. Plus,I just really like imagining Changbin doing aegyo for the last Cadbury’schocolate or something and you judging him so hard, but doing the exact samething thirty seconds later. Softies. Both of you. The Tsundere Couple @darkaegyo

·        Jisung – Hae. Two kidswith unbelievable and unending energy. Plus the visuals? God damn you’d look sogood together. Another Aesthetic Couple. Give the two of you energy drinks andyou’ll be bouncing off the walls. Expect midnight runs to your local supermarket,throwing grapes into each others mouths, cute holiday vlogs where Jisung triesto befriend a squirrel and you throw peanuts at him. @squirrelboiii

·        Felix – Csen. He’dlove to watch you draw in the park while he kicks a ball around with the boysand pretend he’s not trying to figure out who you’re drawing – he hopes that it’shim. Teaching each other to cuss in other languages. He’d roll his eyeswhenever you scream over Namjoon or a Stray Kids Comeback but secretly love howexcited you get about things you love. The sarcasm also runs strong in thisship. Cute selfies returned with a ‘I did it better’. 100% down to prank eachother. The Friends to Lovers Trope we all adore. @lee-minho

·        Seungmin – Esther.People can’t decide if you’re the most savage or the most soft couple to exist.You both put so much thought into what you do for others and you’re so treasuredby everyone who gets to call you a friend. Birthdays are always anticipatedbecause you try to outdo each other in what presents you get each other. You metat a theme park, both the odd person in a group and having to sit next to eachother on a ride. When the ride ends you leave the others to find some ice creamand drinks – and it isn’t your fault that you forgot you arrived with otherpeople. The Meet-Cute we all deserve. @goddamngyu

·        Jeongin – Charz. Thelittle sister we all wish we had. You and Jeongin would be the cutest ok. You’dcompete at baking and force the boys to choose which is better without themknowing whose is whose (you’d both try to bribe the boys beforehand) You’ddance long into the night, not watching the time and just laughing at eachother’s attempts at popular dances. You were probably introduced through mutualfriends at a bonfire, and spent the night arguing over who had the best randomfacts. The Must Protect Couple @strayedtoofar

And now my other mutuals! :D

·        Tayla – KimSeokjin, BTS. Both visuals and Jin would help raise your self-confidence levels byalways taking pictures of you looking cute and bragging to the boys about you. Absolutedorks, with ridiculous nicknames to match. You steal his shirts and he pretendsnot to notice because his jumpers give you sweater paws and it’s adorable. But thosesweater paws come in handy when he tells a particularly bad pun and one lookfrom Yoongi has you whapping one sleeve across his arm, despite laughing atleast as hard as Jimin. Couple Goals. @mindieu

·        Ash – Lee Jihoon, SVT. You’re another Opposites Attract Couple, but both of you makeme want to cuddle the shit out of you. Both completely adorable, you probablymet like one of your AU’s :p A penpal thing that your friends mischievouslysigned you up for and it grew from there. You’ll send him Kpop memes and thoughhe won’t understand many of them, the second he sees his face he’ll be like ‘hey!It’s me!’ He hates aegyo but he’ll do it to make you smile, even at the expenseof his dignity in front of the other members. The Pen Pal trope that I am anabsolute sucker for. @lovelyhoonie

·        Stacia – KimTaehyung, BTS. Infectious laughter would follow you everywhere you went, and you’dalways be touching each other in some way – holding hands, an arm wrappedaround your waist, you name it. Also secretly evil – together with Jungkook,you prank the shit out of the other members and no one ever links it back toyou. And why would they? Both of you have Angel faces. The Trouble Maker Couple @softtrasshh

·        Jazz – Taeyong, NCT. Istill don’t know a lot about NCT, but I think your personalities would match sowell! Both fun loving and so caring and ready to give advice if people need it.You’d bond over your protective instincts and probably spend lots of time atsmall parties with close friends, laughing over good memories. @always-a-winwin

·        Ty – Jeongyeon,Twice. Neither of you could look like a mess if you tried. Goddess-tiervisuals, I swear. I also like to think that Jeongyeon sends really cutemessages to her members and always tries her best to make everyone feel better.And you’re literally the same, in that respect. You love angst so much, and youdon’t need a happy ending, so when she finishes a sad movie or novel, you’rethere to tease her back into laughter again. Neither of you are good for myheart and you fucking know it, you demons. Pet names between you range from ‘babygirl’ and ‘sweetheart’ to ‘nerd’ and ‘oi, you’. The Playful Relationship. @softspearb

·        Bri –  Kihyun, Monsta X. Outspoken about what youthink is right and wrong. Incredibly loyal and fun-loving. Always up for anadventure, and weekends will find you two trying to get lost in the city purelyfor the fun of it! The Adventurous Couple with so many stories to tell! @b-interest

·        K – Jennie, BlackPink.You seem kinda intimidating but you’re actual fluffballs. Always have eachothers backs, and spend your weekends at the park trying to get pictures of thecutest dog – loser has to buy ice cream. The Cute Couple @straychijeu

·        Roo – Jung Hoseok, BTS.You always try to see the best in people and in every situation. You’ve beenthrough difficult situations, but you smile your way through it with your headheld high and you always show concern for everyone else, sometimes forgettingthat you deserve to be cared for too!!!! @chanscurls

·        Tia – Jin Jin,Astro. Visuals for days and with smiles that make the sun jealous! I thinktogether you’d be the couple that always out and doing something. Trying a newrestaurant, racing each other down streets, going to karaoke rooms. Your IG isfull of, not necessarily aesthetic photos, but definitely short videos of JinJin doing something amusing and you laughing in the background, or you leaningon a fence pointing at ‘the view’ with a comment from him ‘you are the view’. TheCheesy Couple! @ ????

·        Flora – Youngjae,GOT7. Very affectionate and take the cutest selfies! If someone can’t find eitherof you, it’s because you’re hiding somewhere with ice cream and a movie. You loveteaching each other your own languages and laugh together over both yourattempts at the correct accents and pronunciation! @ ???

I cannot remember some of your URL’s so like…. can the rest of y’all link this to them bc i’m an awful human being lmao

[sinesalvatorem]

One of the things I managed to convey to a bunch of people yesterday is -

The reason I usually dominate every social environment I’m in is because it doesn’t feel safe not to. Because, if I let my attention slip for even a second, the natural state of all social groups is to converge on plotting to hurt me, and I have to always always always be navigating that all the time.

This leads to me having crazy amounts of social modeling overhead all the time. Like, at one point I was talking to @metagorgon on one side of a room while some other people on the other side of the room were talking to them, and even though I was “““ignoring””” the other side of the room to focus on the conversation I was engaged in, I was tracking their conversation well enough to be internally making puns related to them. And, when I mentioned that, Pastel was basically like - how the fuck?

And, well, how the fuck is that I’m not allowed to turn it off. If there are people anywhere in my environment, they are very salient threats and their natural course tends toward hating me. Because, well, I’m a faggot - that bit isn’t surprising. But the important thing is that it is in fact possible to exist nearby to people who are naturally inclined to despise you if they never get upset for any reason whatsoever, because then they don’t have any aggression to take out on you, so I have to make sure that everyone in my vicinity is at the very least not annoyed as a minimum survival condition 110% of the time.

Additionally, I just directly value other people having a good time. Part of this is ridiculously high affective empathy, which means that other people having a good time basically translates into me having a good time, because the membrane between my emotions and the emotions of a group is very permeable. (Both ways, unfortunately, which is why I have to at a minimum perform cheerfulness even when I’m otherwise operating in low-energy mode.) And part of this is just, like, wanting good things for people? Like, the same impulse that leads me to want to help strangers that I’ll never see and never get to do an empathy key-exchange with.

And part of the valuing other people having a good time thing is feeling a sense of responsibility for all the potential mes of the world? Because I feel like someone needs to be flying the plane at all times to ensure that people don’t just start ripping each other apart. Sort of like when I was with my mother she used to ensure that people around me weren’t going to hurt me and I could relax, but when I was at school I was without a saviour.

(Oh, yes, my blog url is partly a reference to the fact that I have PTSD hyperawareness All The Time Always.)

But, if I trusted that someone like my mother existed around me, I’d be great. I’d be so relaxed. I could turn off my hyper-vigilance ever and just turn the responsibility of safety over to someone else. But I don’t trust anyone to ever be both as competent as me at making sure things are OK, and also aligned enough with my values to make sure things are going OK for me.

However, failing that, I feel the need to step in and do it for both myself and others? Like, to ensure that an environment exists in which no one is about to be attacked. And, just as importantly, where no one feels like they’re about to be attacked. So I track if anyone seems like they might be upset or anxious or drained or otherwise not doing well, and try to identify how I can bring them back to a baseline of security, sometimes by just dropping everything else to find an opportunity to ask them what they need.

Anyway, this is all the nice noble bullshit about why I’m doing this. Here are the  failure modes:

Firstly, remember how I never let go of the steering wheel because I don’t trust that anyone else is aligned enough with my goals to actually keep me safe? Well, even though my goals wrt making sure everyone is OK are altruistic goals, they aren’t selfless goals per se. I’m doing this for everyone on a naive do-unto-others model.

But sometimes they don’t want me to be steering the social environment interminably toward safety. Sometimes they have other goals, and they’d like to prioritise them over feeling good, but I can tend to run roughshod over them. Because, well, I’m on that tier-2 Maslow shit where everything is Not Getting Murdered all the time, and I need to steer everything around me as far away from potential for anyone being murdered as possible.

So sometimes people are spending time around me and they’re having a great time and they’re annoyed because they don’t want to be having a great time. They want to be exploring ideas, or having arguments, or purposefully pushing their limits, or otherwise doing things that might be risky relative to a goal of them feeling perfectly comfortable all the time. And I... don’t know how to stop?

Like, sometimes I literally just leave when I realise this is the case, because expending the amount of energy needed to restrain myself from doing this is more exhausting than even doing it. Keeping 10 people happy? Psh, no problem. Not bending the universe toward keeping those people happy? Help, what do. I genuinely want to respect that preference for a different social environment, because I value people getting what they actually want. But I just can’t. Let. Go. Or I die, or someone else dies, or there’s otherwise Bad Shit that I could have prevented.

Secondly, and relatedly, I don’t know how to handle the preferences of people who directly value being in a social environment that isn’t being managed/tended/gardened in real time. Because I see that they’re anxious, and want to pull a social lever to make the thing that’s making them upset go away, and then realise that the thing making them upset is that I have my hands on the levers.

And I am maybe just fundamentally incompatible with this kind of person? Because usually what’s going on is that we’re traumatised in opposite directions. I am accustomed to the universe being inherently hostile to my life, and that the way I had to oppose it was to build the power to reshape the couple meters around me everywhere I step into social flourishing.

Meanwhile, the type of people who hate it when the social environment is being warped are usually people whose threat model is social predators warping their environment to make them less safe. And this totally makes sense, and being freaked out by me is a reasonable response to that. I feel like, if they understood what I’m doing and why they’d be less afraid...

...But the fundamentally important thing is that they have no obligation not to be afraid. It just means we probably need some distance between us because, as much as I genuinely feel sorry for this, I am not actually going to stop protecting myself, even if the process of me doing so makes them feel unsafe. I’m willing to talk to them and learn what they’d need from me in order to feel safe, and I’m willing to avoid them, but I’m not willing to let go of my protection.

Thirdly, I don’t know how to cope with losing my powers. This is what happened to me on LSD both times that I took high enough doses to actually be impaired. Like, when I didn’t have the power to be continuously scanning the room and parsing all the moods and be totally confident no one wished me harm, I straight up couldn’t figure out how to ask anyone for anything. A charger, company, anything.

And I have learned helplessness for not having these powers protecting me all the time because I deep, deep in my gut believe that the universe is hostile to my existence. And, if it notices me without me having the power to fight back, it will squish me. So I need to hide away from everyone until I regain my power levels.

But this also means I have bad coping mechanisms for mental impairment. Like, this is an impairment I deal with so infrequently that I don’t have workarounds for it. It’s like when my non-dyslexic friends are sometimes really intoxicated and lose the ability to read and Freak Out because they don’t know how to handle that. And I’m like... Welcome to me while slightly tired? The world won’t actually fall apart if you can’t read, because look at me, I’m too gay to read and I’m just fine.

Likewise, other people are like... “Why don’t you just ask people for a charger?” and I’m like “How do I know if I’m even mildly inconveniencing them and need to do emotional labour to make it OK?” and they’re like “...Did you know you’re allowed to exist without doing emotional labour?“ and I’m like “Citation FUCKING needed, buddy.”

And that is maybe the first thing I should work on.

[aquarianlights]

Does anyone in particular want my url, uh. . .everywhere?

I have edmdma claimed here, instagram, snapchat, twitter (albeit, idk how to get into that twitter whoops), and just about everywhere on any obscure site you can imagine. If there’s an edmdma out there on any site, 9 times out of 10, it’s going to be my account.

But as I was saying a long time ago, I need AND want to distance myself from it for obvious reasons. And now I am actually going to do it. But I’ve had this url for over 8 years locked in as mine on just about every corner of the web imaginable. I think the *only* place I don’t have it cornered is youtube. I have no idea what my youtube urls are. I have two of them and I have absolutely no clue what either of them are. But uh. . .

I am actually going to do it now but I’m wanting to give all of the account urls to one person, if possible. So I’m looking for someone who wants it everywhere.

Idk who would or why and you don’t have to tell me reasons, but I really would like for someone to get all of them. Coz the url is kind of special to me. After you’ve had a url cornered on the net for over 8 years on almost every site imaginable, it’s inevitable for it to become a sentimental thing.

I waited on giving it up because I was and am STILL scared that when I change it everywhere, a ton of people from the past who want to reconnect with me for any reason won’t be able to find me. I have always had the same phone number, same emails, same urls, same everything for that exact purpose. But. . .a friend convinced me that I’ve just got to move on and bite the bullet and do it.

So here I am. . .actually doing it.

I’ll give you all a week for someone to come forward and message me to claim it. Either inbox me or DM me. Either way works.

If no one comes forward to claim it within a week. . .I, uh. . .I suppose I’m just gonna. . .gradually change everything. :| That’ll be sad, but uh. . .we’ll see.

*If you get my url, there is one stipulation: Everyone who comes to you asking for me by any name (my most common names have been Riley, Nicki/Nickita, and Killian, but there have been plenty more like Kiowa, Arkadi, Quinn, Vincent, and plenty that I don’t even remember) needs to be redirected to whatever url I choose, which will be the universal url I put on all of my things. I was going to choose my kik url, but my bdsm tumblr is linked to that url already and Idk how to get into my bdsm tumblr anymore so I can’t change it and re-use it. . .argh. I will notify whoever gets my url of what my url is in all the places I change it so they can direct whoever is looking for me to me. Which is a very important thing to me, so I’d really like the url to go to someone I can trust to do that. I will not change the url I make when I get the new one for a very long time, so don’t worry about that. I don’t know what it will be yet.

I was going to tag my friend Ashe because they literally found me years ago because they were checking to see if my url was available and that is how we became friends. . .but I don’t see them following me and I don’t see me following them. But I have over 4k followers so I may have just lost them in the midst of that 4k. But I would assume they would still be following me after all these years and I’m only following slightly over 200 blogs so it’s easy to not miss people when I go through the people I follow and I still don’t see them?? Ashe, if you’re out there and you hmu and want my url still, it’s yours before anyone else’s. I’ll hit you up on fb, too, though.