#and because of this 'bad influence' his family tries to send him away

[gravedirtandbriarthorns]

That meme about experts in a particular field wrongly assuming that everyone understands what is to them surface level basics but otherwise still very niche information, but about gay subtext in films.

AKA I made an off-handed comment referring to that Luca movie (which my niece LOVES right now for w/e reason) as "the little mermaid but the main characters are two gay boys"

[cherienymphe]

When The Party’s Over XXV (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, mentions of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, forced pregnancy, breastfeeding kink, toxic relationship, violence, jealousy, stalking, underage drinking, drug use, manipulation, public sex, innocent reader, Heyward!reader

This is it! My longest Rafe series is complete and I had a lot of fun writing this for you all. Enjoy!

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies​ | divider by @silkholland​​

➥ series masterlist

summary: Manipulated into a secret relationship with Rafe Cameron, you’re finding it much easier said than done to do the right thing and walk away…especially when he refuses to let you.

~

You were rocking him to sleep, soft hums leaving your lips as you did so. He still seemed so small in your hands, something that was hard to believe. It was a nice day out, and you’d taken advantage of the sun and light breeze, opting to sit outside for a while. It was good for him, for both of you really. Rose’s paranoia about the one-year-old getting sick had more influence than either of you wanted to admit.

You looked down at him in your arms, hair simple and pulled back out of your face. Your lashes fluttered as you gazed down at him, a look on your face like he was your favorite thing in the whole world. It was a sight, like you two were the only ones in the whole house…the whole island to be exact. The dress that Rose had bought you clung to you, some baby weight lingering, the top of it straining across breasts that were much fuller than they used to be.

Rafe had done that.

The glow in your face, the extra softness in your frame, and the mewling baby in your arms was all because of him. He knew that if you’d had it your way, your son wouldn’t be here, at all, anger bubbling up in his chest at the memory of what became of his first child. He tried not to linger on that or think about it at all if he could help it because it would send him into a blind rage all over again. He was trying to be better. He was trying.

He'd told you that, and he meant it.

…but you had a way of getting underneath his skin.

You always had.

From the first moment he came across you on the side of the road like some hapless prey ripe for the picking, the sight of you had stirred something in his chest. You’d looked so unsure, so nervous, and what had started out as a ploy to get a pretty girl into bed had turned into something more the second he realized who you were.

To say that he and Pope had an ugly history would be an understatement. They’d left their mark on each other more than a few times, and staring into the face of the Pogue’s sister, having you completely at his mercy, had him smiling in a way that was less than friendly. He’d wanted you then because it would be fun and would eat at Pope better than any punch could.

…but then…

He’d wanted you because he didn’t want anyone else to have you.

You were sweet—too sweet—and kind—too kind—and where Rafe would normally have the desire to squash someone like you, all he’d wanted was to have you all to himself. You were just too trusting, letting Rafe touch you and talk to you in ways that he could tell you’d written off as nothing. You were too naïve…and too caring.

He hadn’t lied when he found himself at your window all those months ago, knuckles bruised from the force behind his punch. The concern in your eyes was almost enough to make Rafe feel bad, a genuine fear for him in there that he’d never seen in anyone’s eyes before. It had almost been enough to make him turn around, or at the very least, just leave you alone after that night.

However…

The thought of you looking at anyone else like that had made his chest tighten. Rafe didn’t want to imagine you letting anyone else climb through your window. He hadn’t wanted to think about you sitting on your bed like some rapt student, listening to some other asshole go on about whatever dull family problems weighed him down. He didn’t want to think of some other guy being on the receiving end of that soft voice and those expressive eyes and gentle hands.

No one had ever apologized for the relationship between him and his father before. The most Kelce or Topper had offered up was a halfhearted ‘that sucks’, and Rafe got it. They dealt with the same thing from uptight parents who expected too much, so what else could they really say? Sarah had only ever given him smug looks accompanied by some variation of ‘I told you so’, but you?

You’d been genuinely sorry. You’d looked at Rafe like being at odds with Ward was the worst thing you could imagine. You’d been so bothered by the thought of the older man making Rafe so angry to the point where he needed to take it out on a wall, hurting himself. You’d listened to him, comforted him and actually tried to make him feel better.

…and that was the moment that Rafe decided he had to have you.

You were just too good to be true, too good to pass up, and he hadn’t cared how he achieved it, only that he knew he was going to have you…for good. The slight guilt that he’d felt at taking advantage of your drunken state was quickly swallowed down by the feel of you underneath him, so tight and so warm. It was almost like he just didn’t deserve something as sweet as you, but if that were the case, you would’ve never been in his arms to begin with.

“Where are you going?”

The sight of you coming back inside pulled him from his reverie, and Rafe evenly gazed at you as you came up short at the sound of his voice. He hated the apprehension that seemed to live in your eyes now, knowing that he’d done that, but what was the alternative? Let you get comfortable enough to try and leave him again? Let you get bold enough to actually fight him off? Rafe was happy with your fear of him if it meant staying by his side.

“He’s been asleep for a while, now. So, I’m just going to put him down,” you told him, a look in your eyes like you wanted to mockingly ask him if that was okay.

He felt his lips quirk up into a small smirk, and he waved you off.

His eyes followed your every move as you breezed past him, gaze lingering on the way your dress hugged you as you climbed the stairs. There was a time where Rafe didn’t have to corner you and hold you down to have sex with him. There was a time when you initiated it just as much, happy to roll around in his bed and sneak around behind Pope’s back, and even though you were at a place where you could barely stand the sight of him, Rafe knew you’d get back to that once again.

It was only a matter of time.

You’d be raising a kid together for the next eighteen years. Not to mention however many more Rafe planned on having with you. Your only other option was to be completely miserable, and you were a lot of things, but stubborn wasn’t really one of them. It was solely your fear that drove you to keep your relationship with him a secret for so long. Not stubbornness.

He wouldn’t lie.

Rafe did feel a little bad about how it all came out, but in the end, it didn’t matter how everyone found out really. All that mattered was that the whole island knew you were his. This whole island would look at you and that baby in your arms and know that you both belonged to Rafe Cameron. He wouldn’t have to deal with assholes—both rich and low-class alike—hitting on you, and he wouldn’t have to keep arguing with you about it.

That was one aspect of your former relationship that he didn’t miss.

The secrecy was fun at first, so much so that Rafe could ignore how much it bothered him to keep you a secret and be a secret. Rafe was nobody’s secret, but it got old fast, and it was solely because of the horny fuckers that couldn’t put their tongues back in their mouth to hear you turn them down. He hated having to watch them run their eyes over you, tracing every inch if you with no effort to hide what they were thinking.

It was enough to drive him crazy, and he had let it.

What drove him crazier was your inability to see it. You’d treated him like he was silly, and all he’d wanted was to not have to sit back and swallow it down as countless guys approached you with every intention of doing to you what Rafe did every night. That was the only thing that kept him from losing it completely.

Knowing that when the party was over, it was his bed you were climbing into and his cock you were wrapping your lips around.

Not theirs.

Looking back, that was really all that mattered, and maybe he should’ve done a better job of remembering that. Hell, he’d even allowed his mind to run wild with the possibilities of you and Topper. It couldn’t be helped. Despite Topper’s own history with Bunny, Rafe saw the way the other blond looked at you sometimes, and even without Rafe in the picture, you weren’t the type to cavort with your friend’s sloppy seconds. That still didn’t stop Top from imagining what it’d be like though, and his fear as Rafe had confronted him only confirmed what Rafe knew he’d been thinking.

He recalled the way his best friend had seemed to trip over himself, stuttering to deny what they both knew was true. After all, if Rafe was threatening him over some girl, then it was serious and he’d been close to crossing a line he couldn’t uncross. Rafe knew you would never, but you’d been angry with him that night, and when he came back to the party to find you gone, only to track your phone, his mind had jumped to the worst.

You weren’t the vengeful type, that was more Rafe’s style, but he hadn’t been able to stop his imagination from getting the better of him.

He’d fucked up.

Bad.

He knew that that same night when it was just the two of you on the water, and you’d been trembling underneath him. He’d been determined to right his wrong, to apologize and beg for your forgiveness. You had to see how messed up he was. You had to see how stupid he’d been to let his paranoia get to him. He hadn’t meant it, and he thought that he’d made you see that.

He thought you understood how sorry he was for that mistake he’d never be able to undo.

He hadn’t anticipated you leaving him. Not really, anyway. After all, Rafe loved you, and he was shit at showing it properly yeah, but did that really matter? He knew he loved you, and he thought you knew too. If he didn’t, would he really have gone through so much trouble just to keep you? To protect you from assholes that’d had the same intentions he’d had?

Rafe had gone above and beyond to keep you at his side, and as he leaned against the doorway, staring at you as you peered down into your son’s crib, none the wiser to his gaze, he wondered if you really knew just how much you meant to him even if he sucked at showing it.

“If you’re going then I’m going.”

Rafe heard you huff, a tired sound that clued him in to the fact that he was going to get what he wanted either way.

“Rafe…”

He didn’t respond, lightly bouncing his son and smiling back at the cherubic infant as he tried to grab at his face.

“Pope’s home for the weekend, and I just want to spend some time with my family. I want them to play with him and bond with him-.”

“…and you can’t do that with me there?”

“I don’t want you there!”

The rise in your voice gave the infant pause, and Rafe cooed at him before his face had time to scrunch up in preparation of a wail.

“I just want it to be us,” you continued.

“Not happening,” he replied with no room for argument.

There was a brief pause, one thick and filled with tension. He could feel your eyes on him, and Rafe was unbothered, only lazily looking towards you after some time. You were sitting on the bed, as beautiful as ever, face pinched into a frown. He took great care to ignore the tears in your eyes.

“You have to know that I’m not going anywhere by now,” you told him, voice cracking. “I can’t just want a few days away from you?”

“That’s not very healthy,” he sarcastically told you, slowly walking around the room. “We have a family, now, beautiful.”

“You’re insufferable,” you mumbled.

The insult merely rolled over Rafe’s back.

“You can go wherever you want, you know that, but you’ve lost it if you think I’m not going with you,” he said, sitting next to you.

You both watched as your son reached for you, and Rafe happily handed him over. He couldn’t swallow down his smile as the infant made himself comfortable in your arms, a happy sound leaving his tiny lips at the sight of you. Rafe loved how much he loved you, and he loved how much you loved him in return. The sight made him happy, and you only gave him a scathing look when he reached out to gently touch your face.

“You tried to run from me before…and you tried to take him with you…”

His voice was soft as he reminded you of this.

“I’ll never put it past you to do that again.”

He watched you lick your lips, tongue darting between them as your eyes flashed, memories of that night going through your mind.

“You didn’t really give me much choice, Rafe,” you whispered. “How could I not want to be away from you?”

Rafe looked away at that, hating how much that affected him. He knew it was his own fault, he recognized that, but how could he right his wrongs when you didn’t give him the chance?

“I…messed up,” he said, catching himself after a glance at his son. “I know that…okay? But I love you and-.”

“You can’t really believe that, Rafe,” you whispered, not looking at him. “You don’t treat someone the way you’ve treated me if you love them.”

“I’m shit at showing it, alright?” he spat. “You don’t…you don’t need to tell me that. I know.”

He looked towards the empty crib, swallowing.

“You don’t…”

He trailed off, letting his words die in the air. How could he explain it to you? How could he make you understand that he was so terrified of losing you that it made him go overboard to make sure he didn’t?

“I just can’t lose you,” he finally murmured. “…and…it just makes me so desperate to do anything to make sure I don’t.”

Your scoff had him looking at you.

“Do you hear how messed up that is, Rafe?”

You blinked at him, looking at him like he was crazy, and of everything that happened, he hated that the most. Unlike everyone else, you’d never look at him like he was crazy or horrible or the problem.

“I should be able to leave if I want to,” you whispered. “I shouldn’t be trapped into a relationship, threatened into staying with you. That’s not right-.”

“I know it’s not right,” he spat, breathing through his nose as he looked between your eyes. “I know that. I know that it’s wrong and doesn’t make sense and every other bad thing in the book. I know that, okay?”

He pushed himself off of the bed, taking a deep breath.

“…but I’d rather that than not have you, at all.”

When he looked at you, he couldn’t place the look in your eyes, but you were staring up at him with parted lips. His son squirmed in your arms, and it was almost like you didn’t notice.

“I’d rather you be dead than not with me.”

You flinched, and he watched the way a lone tear escaped, skipping down your cheek. You shakily exhaled, looking away from him with a shake of your head. As Rafe said it, he realized that it was the truth. He’d set out to have you, he got you, and he wasn’t going to settle for losing you. It didn’t make sense for both of you to exist and not be together. It didn’t make sense for you to be alive and well and not with him.

Let alone with someone else.

He watched you look down at the infant in your arms, his son much quieter now.

“You terrify me, Rafe,” you finally said.

When your eyes met his again, he could see how true that was, and his own gaze found the floor.

“You’re not who I thought you were, and you terrify me,” you went on. “…and even if I was some dumb broad who wanted to just pretend like nothing happened and forgive you for everything you’ve done to me, you terrify me.”

When his eyes met yours again, you were glaring at him.

“You’ve hurt me more than anyone ever has. You hurt me in ways I never thought I would be, and I can’t be around you without wondering when you’re going to hit me again or hold my head under water or-.”

“I told you that I’m trying!”

Your words were getting to him, making his chest tighten and his jaw clench. His son squirmed and made a small noise of protest, and you held him closer. Rafe forced himself to take a deep breath, running his hand through his hair as you just…stared at him.

“I’m trying my best.”

“Well, your best sucks,” you whispered, swallowing. “They’ve put men in jail for less.”

Rafe didn’t really have anything to say to that other than an apology.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “You’ve said that before, Rafe. Some things you just can’t fix with an apology.”

You told him that in a tone filled with finality, and even though it wasn’t the first time you’d said it, it was still something he didn’t want to hear. Rafe knew that he’d wear you down eventually, even if it took years, but as long as you’d wake up next to him with a smile on your face, it didn’t matter how long it took.

Your nails pressed into his shoulder, and Rafe hissed. The sting added to the heat that was already coursing through him, and he tightened his free hand around your wrist. The other was digging into your thigh, his mouth buried between your legs, tongue laving at your folds. Rafe was sure that he’d never get enough of you.

Truth be told, Rafe never liked going down on any girl much. He much preferred them going down on him, but his ego was too big to resist a chance at hearing some faceless bimbo moaning his name and clinging to him like her life depended on it. It was always a means to an end.

…but with you…Rafe loved the taste of you.

He loved swiping his tongue over you, sliding it between your folds, thrusting it into you as best as he could. He loved the way your breath would catch, and the way your thighs would press into his head, almost suffocating him. He liked to look up and see your parted lips, eyes wide and on the ceiling or half-closed and lashes fluttering.

Rafe had once thought that he could stay between your legs forever if it was possible.

He pressed his hand into your stomach when you came on his mouth, letting your leg go and reveling in the feel of your thighs tightening around his head. You were twisting your arm, trying to get him to let go, but Rafe was having none of that. You were still fighting to catch your breath when he kissed his way up your body.

Your bundle of joy was sleeping in Ward and Rose’s room tonight, something Rose was happy to agree to when Rafe had brought it up. You seemed to be just on the precipice of sleep when he’d made his way into the bed, his lips on yours before you had an understanding of what was happening.

Despite your verbal protests, and the hands pushing against him, your body greedily clung to his when he pushed himself into you. You were so wet, a simple and smooth intrusion, and Rafe groaned at the feel. He heard your sharp intake of breath and felt your nails press into his skin. His forehead lightly rested against yours as he just held himself there, basking in the feel of you wrapped tightly around his cock.

It was a feel he’d never get tired of.

He pressed his forearm into the pillow beside your head, leaning over you as he pulled his hips back. The action made you gasp again, and your chest arched up into his when he pushed into you to the hilt. His thrusts were slow at first, taking his time, and Rafe pressed his lips to your neck.

Rafe did love you.

At least, he thought he did.

He knew that the thought of never being with you drove him crazy, drove him to terrifying lengths. He knew that you were the first thing he thought about when he woke up and the last thing before he went to bed. When he wasn’t with you, all he wondered was what you were doing. Your smile alone was enough to calm him down from any violent high, and sometimes when he thought about how badly he hurt you, it hurt him.

He would think about the frown on your face when he held you too tight or the fear in your eyes that day on the yacht. He remembered the way you shrunk in on yourself in his truck that night, clutching your cheek and wanting to be as far away from him as possible. It hurt Rafe to think about those things, some of them necessary, some of them not.

Sometimes you just made him so angry that he lost control, and while he never cared in the moment, the aftermath always had him feeling bad. He always wanted to hold you and tell you how sorry he was. Always wanted to kiss it better and beg for your forgiveness. Rafe had never wanted to lose control with you, and he’d failed at that so many times.

Your sharp moan brought him back to the present, and he curved his hips into yours, plunging into you without abandon. Your nails were drawing blood, but he didn’t care. He welcomed the feel, the pain, and his teeth grazed along your shoulder before his lips traveled to meet yours. You jerked your head away, but Rafe followed, covering your lips with his own.

He deeply inhaled, breathing you in and tasting the inside of your mouth. Every thrust had you shuddering beneath him, and Rafe felt like he wasn’t going to last for much longer. Against what you probably wanted, you clung to him, wrapping your arms around him and lifting your hips to meet his every thrust. Under the cover of darkness, you seemed to lose yourself, and it reminded Rafe of the early days in your relationship.

He missed waking up to the feel of your lips wrapped around him or your hand sliding along his bare skin in the middle of the night. No matter how much you might’ve wanted to erase it all, your body would never forget, and it was so evident in the way Rafe played you like an instrument, knowing exactly what to pull and what to stroke to make the sound he loved.

“I miss you,” he whispered into your mouth. “I miss you so much.”

You didn’t respond, pausing for half a second, and Rafe kissed you again.

“God, I miss you.”

Being with you was the only time Rafe felt…heard. Seen. You had never dismissed his problems because of however much money he had. You had never just placated him. You’d always genuinely felt bad for him and had always been open to listening to him and trying to make him feel better—whether that be with your words or your body.

In truth, you’d been way more understanding than he deserved at times.

…and that was how he knew you’d come around one day.

You had to.

There was no other choice.

When you came around him, he held you down, still pushing into you and fucking you through it. Your head was thrown back, and one leg was hooked along his waist, and Rafe didn’t want to look away. You were fighting to right your breathing, and Rafe took the time to kiss along your chest. His son was the greatest thing you’d given him, and despite your silence on the matter, Rafe could tell that you weren’t all that comfortable with the changes in your frame.

Rafe had never been happier, to be honest.

The fullness of your breasts were addicting to look at, even more addicting to feel, and knowing that it was to nurture his pride and joy turned him on so much. His teeth grazed over the rounded flesh, and his palm pressed over one, massaging it and squeezing it, and Rafe didn’t miss the mewl you let out. Nursing him before bed was something you hadn’t done today, and he both felt and heard your sigh of relief when he wrapped his lips around a hardened bud.

The pressure from his hand and mouth eased the pressure in your chest, making a mess on your skin and eventually the sheets. Rafe wondered what it felt like, that relief combined with the feel of him inside of you. When it was Rafe’s turn to come, he did so inside of you, jerking against you and rutting into you until he was spent.

You yourself were completely spent when he pulled away from you, resting on his back beside you. The only sound in the room was that of your combined breathing, and this was the part where you beat yourself up and allowed guilt to force you into more isolation. Rafe refused to let you, reaching over and pulling you closer. You didn’t react, and he’d take that over a fight any day.

“I love you,” he whispered after a while.

When you didn’t respond, Rafe continued.

“I know you don’t believe that, but I do. I-.”

“You’re obsessed with me,” you tearfully mumbled. “That’s not the same.”

Rafe swallowed, frowning.

“You want to possess me. You only care that I’m with you, never mind if I’m happy or not-.”

“You were happy with me before-.”

“…and that was before!”

You pulled away from Rafe, sitting up and wrapping the covers around you.

“That was before I knew what you were really like and before you tried to drown me and before…”

You trailed off, hurrying to your feet and quickly looking for something to put on. Rafe watched you with a frown, huffing to himself.

“Where are you going?”

“To be with my son,” you spat out.

You were moving out of the room before Rafe had time to respond, and he only stared after you.

Rafe knew that getting to where he wanted with you wasn’t going to happen overnight. Hell, it might not even happen in two years, but Rafe was patient when he knew what he wanted. He was patient the morning after you had sex with him, calm as he told you he wanted more from you, knowing the kind of girl you were and the pressure you’d feel to be in a relationship with him.

He’d been patient before that, content to orbit himself around you until he was a regular part of your routine. Patient until he’d made the decision that he wanted you all to himself. He was patient when he’d tampered with your birth control, knowing it was only a matter of time before your worry drove you to seek out a pregnancy test.

He had not anticipated the abortion.

That had shocked him, and it was only then did it click for him just how badly you wanted to cut ties with him.

Rafe had been patient that day he and Ward pulled into your yard, relaxing in your living room as his father talked to your parents and he waited for you to arrive. Rafe was impulsive, this was true, but he was patient when he needed to be. He’d been patient in tracking you down, following your every move until he had you right where he wanted you, alone on the side of the road and at his mercy.

…and Rafe could be patient with this too.

He fingered a familiar box in his hand, taking it from its place in the nightstand. The ring was ostentatious and shiny and perfect—fit for a Cameron woman. Fit for the wife of Rafe Cameron. He was unsurprised to find you in the other guest room, leaning against the headboard with his son in your arms as you nodded off.

It was a sight that warmed Rafe’s heart with pride, and he gently sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake either of you. You looked so peaceful in your sleep, a contrast to how you looked whenever you were looking at him these days. You were beautiful and the kindest person he ever knew, and you’d given him a healthy baby boy.

How on earth was he expected to just let you go?

He grabbed your free hand, your left one, brushing his own fingers over your own. You hated him, now, but you wouldn’t forever. You were afraid of him, now, but you wouldn’t be forever. Rafe was confident that a day would come where he’d hear the sound of your laughter mixed in with his son’s, and when you’d look up at him, it wouldn’t disappear.

He knew you’d probably scream at him in the morning and probably hurl it at him, but that didn’t stop Rafe from slipping the heavy ring onto your finger. It looked like it belonged, and Rafe brushed his finger over the solitaire. It wouldn’t be tomorrow, and it probably wouldn’t even be next year, but a day would come where you wouldn’t take this ring off, and while that day couldn’t come fast enough…

Rafe loved you just enough to wait.

Fin.

[from-izzy]

[03:10] | the boyz kim sunwoo

Sunwoo hums to acknowledge your thoughts. "Let's try again, okay? Together this time."

​PAIRING » tbz kim sunwoo x gn!reader (fast proofread once! lmk if i missed anything!)​ TROPE/AU » ​established relationship au!, non-idol au! GENRE​ » hurt/comfort at night (morning), fluffy fluff fluff, a sprinkle of angst, sunwoo being your understanding and patient boyfriend, sunwoo tucks your hair behind your ears (i find this so so so cute), big spoon sunwoo who protects you from the world, sunwoo tries to steal your (his) clothes because he's staying the night over and can't fit in yours WORD COUNT » 1836 ESTIMATED READING TIME » ~7 mins WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader has trouble sleeping, reader has a history of taking prescribed melatonin, mentions of unsupportive family, reader has medium to long hair, sunwoo is physically bigger and taller

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

thank you for reading and helping with genres/warnings @sohnric !!

something that i wrote up back late december 2023 but only releasing today because it marks day 100 since i had my last melatonin pill. taking melatonin pills everyday since 2021 has had a toll on my body and i see the effects that it has on my body even more after stopping. with it, my body clock somewhat matches the time frame that society 'accepts'. without it, the birds chirp first and even though sleeping at 5-6am is exhausting, i tell myself to keep pushing on.

for another note, this story is not written to influence the audience into thinking that taking medication is bad! please take your medication properly and on time! do not be influenced and swayed by society for your health!

please always stay healthy and i'm rooting for you! hang in there! you can do this!!

You didn't need to look at the clock to know what time it was at night—or should you say at this point, day. 

You were thankful that Sunwoo wasn't asleep yet or on a call with his friends when you sent him a message, asking if he was able to come over. You debated even texting him at first, seeing that it was past midnight but you remember the time he bent down to look at you at eye level, hugging your lips with his before pulling away and telling you to always send him a message if you ever needed him at any time and anywhere.

At that point, all your worries washed away as it was the exact words that you needed to hear from your loving boyfriend.

As soon as Sunwoo read and replied to your message, it took him less than ten minutes to appear on the other side of your window—but it took you a second quicker than him to open the said window before he could knock on its frame as all you did after you turned off your phone was put your arms around your legs, resting your chin on your raised knees and watch the mocking moon in the sky.

It was so high on a cloudless night that your stomach churned with anxiety and the truth that time waits for none kicks you in the gut devastatingly. The physical time tells society to sleep and wake up because that's the universal time to keep the world going. The long hand ticks in your head while the short one follows bit by bit—like a bomb that explodes when everyone greets you a ‘goodnight’. Your body has always run at a different time and even though the moon gives so much light and comfort to the night for some, it only serves as a grim reminder for you that your seven o'clock alarm will ring in less than four hours. 

It's heartbreaking to realise your perception of the ray of light in the black night that you used to be excited for has changed as you grew older.

"Hey..." Sunwoo keeps you close to his body as soon as he jumps inside your room. One hand holds the back of your head gently, the other wrapping around your waist. He dips his head down to press a kiss to your forehead, a little smile against your skin on his soft lips, "You're okay. It'll be okay."

"I can't fall asleep, Woo..." Your hand harshly grips the leather material of his jacket at the sides of his body and the shape of your nails is most probably imprinted on his daily outwear by the number of times you've done this.

Sunwoo hums to acknowledge your thoughts. "Let's try again, okay? Together this time." His fingers that run through your hair leave you slightly breathless and you try to focus on his careful and slow action towards you, successfully easing your racing thoughts. "I'm here now, bubs."

The smile on his face grew when you nodded against his chest, still burying your face into his chest and to breath in his comforting scent that always seemed to calm your whole body. Delighted and relieved at your response, Sunwoo begins to sway his body from side to side, singing a gentle tune with his mellow singing voice that you love. He alternates between singing the romantic words straight to your ears and humming the words out as he presses multiple kisses on the parts of your face that he can reach.

"Were you sleeping when I messaged you?" You whisper guiltily to his chest.

"Don't worry about those little things." Sunwoo continued humming after. When he finishes singing the last note, your hands no longer hold onto his jacket for dear life, instead just leisurely around his waist. He pulls away just enough to finally face you in the limited light that your nightlamp gave. "Hi there, bubs."

The way Sunwoo says the pet name that you adore so much makes your heart break a little bit. You could tell at a glance that his eyelids were heavy, that he was probably trying to fight the yawn from his song and that his legs were probably trying their best not to fall asleep. Sunwoo quietly observes your trembling lips and he picks up the high possibility that you were most probably conflicted in your thoughts.

It still haunts you more than the moon outside; more than any horror movies or the amusement horror houses you’ve been in. Maybe it’s because, during all those situations, you had someone beside you. But it’s inevitable once again when your eyes won’t close that you think of the scene in the dining room. When that one artificial light hangs on the ceiling in the middle of the dining table, the square sides taken up by the other members of your family, you will never forget the disbelief and scoffs of disgust when you told them about the small white circle in the palm of your hand that your doctor prescribed.

"I'm so sorry. Maybe I should've just taken the medic—"

"Don't be like this to yourself." The moonlight behind your boyfriend highlights the tears that roll down your pale cheeks. Your heavy, shaky inhales are what prompts Sunwoo to bring yourself back to the present time. "I want to be here, okay? I want to take care of you." Your cold cheeks met the warmth of his palms, his thumbs brushing across the underside of your eyes to wipe your tears away while the rest tucked the lone strands of your hair behind your ears. "If you don't want to take the pills then you don't have to. Please don't be sorry for anything."

"But you're so tired..." It's a miracle that the sentence was comprehendable though it did break multiple times along the way.

He keeps his reassuring eye contact with you when he shakes his head, "You must be more tired than I am." 

You whimper at his thoughts, biting your bottom lip to keep your cries from growing any louder. Sunwoo shakes his head once more, resting his forehead on yours and whispering sweet nothings to you delicately. His thumb lands on the outline of your bottom lip before lightly pulling it down to free it from the pain you were inflicting on yourself. When your cries did break out from your lips, restrains fully gone, your boyfriend's kind heart completely breaks.

Sunwoo takes your breath away by giving you his own when he tilts your head slightly to meet his plump lips. He drinks all your sorrows, cupping your jawline to bring you closer, the sides of your nose brushing against each other. Your lips stop trembling, focusing on the love and patience that he gives you. Your hands unclasp from his back, moving to curl and envelop his wrists, resting the pads of your thumbs on his to feel his calming heartbeat. The muscles that made your eyebrows furrow relaxed with the way that Sunwoo held you so carefully in the now-broken, silent night.

Sunwoo learns from the number of times that you have called him in this situation that showing you gestures like these are the fastest and most effective way to ease your mind and ground yourself. His heart does little loops and jumps every time before he kisses you but he is more focused on making you feel better than anything. As much as it makes him happy to know that he's the only one who could give you the loving gesture, nothing beats the feeling of knowing that you will always feel better and be in a better state of mind afterwards.

The boy pulls away eventually, scanning your face to look for any discomfort. When he found none, his thumbs continued to brush over your skin for a little while more, trailing a series of kisses from your forehead, the shape of your nose, your eyelids that protect his favourite pair of eyes to your precious lips that his own would never get enough of.

"May need to borrow some clothes, bubs." An eyebrow raises from him and a teasing grin makes its way to his face, "Even though ‘borrow’ is a weird word as it’s mine in the first place." A chuckle fills your room melodically. "Will you lend me my clothes?"

"And if I say no?" You did a little nose scrunch, pouting after.

Sunwoo is not the strongest soldier, especially not to your cute actions that sent his heart beating erratically against his chest when your sparkling eyes met his. "Bubs, I'm not going to fit in your clothes. Even if I could, I don't think you would like it when you get it back all stretched."

"I have oversized too, you know."

"You mean my clothes that are oversized on you."

Your eyes smile at the short conversation and Sunwoo's heart feels full and content, relieved to see the beautiful sight that he has always wished you would have in long nights like these.

After Sunwoo changes, you both cover your bodies with your weighted duvet. Just like before, he holds you close to his body, resting an arm for you to lay on before bending it up to soothingly run his fingers across your scalp. You smile contently, hiding your face to his chest, pressing a kiss on his jawline.

"I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

Just like every time as an act of 'goodbye' or 'goodnight', you relish the forehead kiss that goes on for slightly longer than all the other forehead kisses. After a date and a long day, you would always pout and beg for another one, not wanting to leave his side yet. But on nights like these, when his arms would spoon your figure and you would hug his other free arm, you wouldn't need to pucker your lips to him, knowing well that it's a 'goodnight' and not a 'goodbye'.

"I love you so much, bubs."

"I love you so much too." You push your body up a little bit, careful not to crush the arm beneath you and press a final kiss to his lips before trying to reset your body clock for another day. "Thank you for coming, Woo."

"Anytime and anywhere. Never forget that."

Sunwoo did fall asleep first but his presence with his little snores and the warm exhale from his lips comforted you greatly. Your head seems to agree with your heart because when your eyelids become heavy and sleep finally overtakes your body, you're glad that the last thing two things you see before drifting off to one of the best sleeps in your life, are the sight of your intertwined hands between your bodies and the thought that you're blessed to have Sunwoo who loves you so much and so dearly. 

Wrapped in patient love, the seven o’clock alarm didn’t seem scary to you anymore.

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o

[nekrosdolly]

albert wesker hcs (re0-1)

hi!! first post! let me know if it's ooc or not, i'm trying. tysm for reading! tags below.

cw; fluff, angst, hurt/no comfort, follows the events of re1. boyfriend! wesker bc he's so sillypants and i love him lol. not proofread, written under the influence, whoops! somewhat clingy but mostly cold reserved bf wesker. jill and chris mentioned, valenfield implied.

petnames used; primrose, little dove.

boyfriend wesker!, who's not always the most affectionate but makes sure to always have a hand on you at all times, unless you're apart. he's always holding either your hand, your waist, or the back of your neck. his hands are slightly calloused, cold, and smooth from both his lines of work. you'd shudder upon initial comment, mutter something about his fingers being "cold as ice," and melt into his touch anyway.

boyfriend wesker!, who, when you're away, sends you updates on his day so you're not worried where he's gone. if he's reading a book, he'll send you a line that makes him think of you, be it a fact or something a character said. when he's working and you're at home, he's frequenting his Nokia 6150 in his office to see if you've messaged him. he's private about your relationship with all his coworkers, Umbrella or R.P.D.

boyfriend wesker! who hasn't told you about his job at Umbrella, and likely won't for your own safety. He can't risk getting his little dove involved, especially if you're not the science type. he only tells you things you'd want to hear about his position at the R.P.D.- stories of Chris being an astounding meathead and Jill's crush on him. he'd update you on developments because he knows you like that sort of thing, even if you say you don't. off-handedly, he'd mention Barry's family, and look at you with some odd kind of longing.

boyfriend wesker!, who is incredibly protective deep down, but refuses to act out or make either of you look foolish. if you're getting hit on, he'll intervene on your behalf and simply pull you aside. he knows it's not your fault. he could never be mad at you, his primrose.

boyfriend wesker!, who has a very big soft spot for you. while he's cold with anyone else, you are the only one he'll let some of his walls down for. he feels bad for lying to you about certain things, but he has good intentions- or so he thinks.

boyfriend wesker!, whose feelings are stronger than he thought they could be for someone. his heart yearns for you at all times, and though he doesn't say it often, he would kill for you. his own feelings scare him at times- when he wakes up in the middle of the night, you by his side snoring away, and wonders how he got here in the first place. it's those times he might pull away and try to close himself up again.

boyfriend wesker!, who pushes you away when he can't handle his feelings. he reprimands himself for not being in control of himself- that's all he really wants, control. he tries to keep himself at a good distance so you're content with him, so you trust him. he doesn't realize he's manipulating you, nor that he's hurting you. he doesn't think he can.

boyfriend wesker!, who, when you end up leaving him (as you should), doesn't bat an eye. although it does hurt, he knows better than to beg, god forbid cry, at your feet as an attempt to keep you for longer. he has never been that kind of man. instead, he wishes you well and helps you pack your things. of course he's curious as to why you're leaving and in due time, he'll make all your suspicions come to life. soon enough. he'll confirm your worst fears- that he's been hiding from you, lying to you, for your entire relationship.

ex-boyfriend wesker!, who, months after the breakup, isn't over you. still sleeps with a shirt you left behind used as a pillowcase for a pillow he hugs to get comfortable. he'll wake up in the morning at times and feel around for you, his heart sinking in his chest at the reality of your absence. when he gets ready and stares annoyedly at himself in the mirror while he brushes his teeth. imagines it's you slicking his hair back with a light-feeling gel instead of himself. if he thinks about it for too long, he can hear you making little comments about how long his hair has gotten or how soft it is. his lips press into a thinner line at that, and his jaw clenches.

ex-boyfriend wesker!, who carries out his plans to get rid of S.T.A.R.S. and wonders what you'd think of him now after he's tried to kill his employees (and almost succeeds. that damn Chris.) you wouldn't look at him the same, but the twisted and frankly delusional part of him hopes you'll tell him that it's okay. that you'll still kiss him how you used to, or touch his arm and reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong, that he's justified in his actions. although these delusions would only carry him so far, as he needs the real you- not just an apparition of you.

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Headcanons for Klaus Being A Simp For You

First thing under no circumstances will Klaus ever admit to being a simp

You know he's a simp for you, and so does his siblings, but none of you are able to get him to actually say it

But it does show just how bad he's got for you all the time

You're the only person in his life that he will allow to stand up to him, or outright defy him without consquences

When Klaus wouldn't lift the death threat he placed on Tyler's life, Caroline begged you to talk to him about it.

Which you did pointing out all the ways Klaus wronged Tyler, but also feeding into his ego

"If you're really the almighty true hybrid who can't be killed. Why are you acting like Tyler is still a threat to you? Do you perhaps fear him Klaus?"

Klaus immediately went into a rant about Tyler being no match for him, but nevertheless once he was done. He told Caroline the death threat was lifted.

Whenever Rebekah would piss him off to much she came to you looking for protection. When Klaus locked eyes with you in search of his little sister to dagger her. He simply let a out sigh of annoyance and gave you the dagger. You were holding your hand out for.

Everyone in his life knew that you were the one person Klaus would give into every single time without a fight.

But your influence did have its limitations in certain situations

Because you meant so much to him that brought a lot of his enemies to your doorstep

One time Klaus found you bloodied and bruised after one of Marcel's vampires attacked you to send a message

You tried to reel his anger in but he took one look at your state, and vamped sped away. The whole city of New Orleans felt his rage that night as he went on a rampage.

No human or vampire was safe as Klaus was hell bent on not just taking revenge, but also breaking every single one of Marcel's rules

He gave the vampire a werewolf bite and locked him up in the Mikaelson's mansion to watch him die a slow and painful death.

He ordered his siblings to keep a watchful eye over you after that. You weren't aware of it at first but wherever you went a Mikaelson wasn't far behind protecting you from anymore attacks.

Klaus also moved you into the mansion afterwards. You came home to find your apartment empty except for him standing there with a key.

Oh yeah and when it comes to sibling squabbles all of them know better than to involve you. Kol threatened your life one time when he first came back, and was terrified to even look in your direction for a month after Klaus was done with him.

You're one of the few people who can bring out his goofy and fun side.

He seemed like he was more irritated than anything when Rebekah brought the camera to take family pictures

Later on that night you presented him with the small camera, and the two of you had your own personal photoshoot

It took years for him to confess his feelings for you, because he had never felt this kind of love for someone, and every time he did try to love someone. It always ended in tragedy and heartbreak

Klaus didn't want things to be that way with you

But at the same time he was scared you wouldn't wait around forever for him, even though you definitely would've.

Klaus treated you like a literal queen, and only gave you his best. He was careful to never slip up and take his anger out on you

You began helping Klaus learn a better way to respond to his loved ones whenever they hurt him

Klaus would end up turning you at some point because he couldn't bear the thought of losing you

But he waits for you to come to him and ask.

Klaus wouldn't dare pressure you

If you asked for the world Klaus would find a way to give to you. There isn't nothing he wouldn't do for you.

[emeraldspiral]

Invader Poonchy, except instead of Zim convincing Dib another classmate is an alien to get him off his back, Zim convinces Dib that HE’S an alien.

Dib wakes up in Zim's lab with an implant that suppresses his memories, so Zim is able to convince him that he’s an Irken who was sent to help him with his mission, but through his own stupidity and incompetence he damaged his PAK's memory drive and erased everything. Dib asks why they look nothing alike if they're supposed to be the same species and Zim claims it's because Dib is wearing a holographic disguise. Zim whips out a device and presses a button which he claims drops the disguise, but is actually controlling the implant to alter Dib's perception so he sees himself as an Irken, kinda like Keef with the squirrel. Dib asks why Zim has control over the disguise and Zim says it's because Dib can't be trusted with it and should never be out of disguise outside of Zim's base anyway. He claims that Dib's "base" is in the Membrane house where he's passed himself off as the Professor's son, so he has to be in disguise virtually 24/7 and can never drop the act.

Zim sends Dib out with no idea who he is or how to act normally beyond what Zim tells him is "normal" for him. Dib is extremely anxious and uncomfortable with lying, but does his best to "pretend" to be an ordinary human boy with a gigantic head and an obsession with hideous imaginary beasts who no one likes or takes seriously. He's extremely bad at acting like himself, but his classmates are stupid, his dad doesn't pay attention, and his sister doesn't care, so nobody suspects anything. Dib however, is actually self-aware about how bad he is at lying and improvising and it kinda annoys him that humans are so gullible they let him get away with it. Like, "Wake up people! I'm so obviously an alien? Are you even trying to not be destroyed?"

Furthermore, while he initially believes Zim about his persona being a total loser with stupid, lame interests that everyone rightly scoffs at, he ends up discovering the "fake" paranormal stuff he was only supposed to pretend to investigate to maintain appearances is actually real and kinda cool actually. He also starts to feel sorta bad about lying to his "fake" family after Membrane shows him a tiny bit of affection by patting him on the head and telling him to have a good day before sending him off to skool.

Torn between his loyalty to the Irken Empire and a newfound craving for paternal affection, Dib breaks and "admits" to Membrane that he's an alien. But he doesn't want to invade the earth anymore, he wants to stay there and study its strange, amazing creatures, protect humanity, oppose Zim in his efforts to destroy them, and be raised by Membrane as his son. Membrane dismisses this "confession" as Dib just being insane. Dib tries to prove himself by stealing the device Zim claims controls his "holographic disguise" but when Dib attempts to "decloak" in front of Membrane, Membrane says nothing's changed and worries that Dib's delusions have gotten worse if he's now hallucinating that he sees himself as an alien.

Dib finally realizes he's human after all when he stares at himself in the mirror, unable to understand why Membrane can't see his "true" form and after feeling himself up a bit realizes that his ears are real but his PAK, the thing that's supposed to be keeping him alive, isn't.

Dib locates the implant in his ear and destroys it, then goes to Zim's house, pretending to still be under the influence of the implant. He claims to have some intel on the unveiling of Membrane's latest invention, which they can turn against humanity, and ends up luring Zim into a trap that's shielded from sending or receiving transmissions so Zim can't call for help.

But while Dib is keeping Zim hidden in preparation for a grand reveal, he finds his dad, who it turns out has been looking for him as well. Membrane calls over some men from the psych ward and they strap Dib into a straight jacket and haul him away screaming "No! I'm not crazy! I don't think I'm an alien! But I've got a real one in captivity right now! Come on! Please! Just let me show you! He's right behind that door! He's literally ten feet away!"

Zim cackles maniacally at Dib's misfortune, then realizes he's still trapped. He says "Oh well. Someone's got to come by and open this door eventually, right?" Then it cuts to Zim's skeleton covered in cobwebs still in the trap some indeterminate amount of time in the future as the final gag of the episode.

[southangel]

can I ask for a butters younger sister that super sweet she is adopted because his parents didn't want to have a pregnancy but wanted a baby she and butters are really close when Butters was grounded when he was younger he was still allowed to play with her this can also tie over to post covid where there maybe not as close but he still loves her

Being Butters’ Adopted Younger Sister

Warnings: none

Notes: Sorry for the wait! This was really fun to write though. Post-Covid Butters is written in both not fixed timeline and fixed.

As a child, Butters has always wanted a younger sibling.

It didn’t matter whether they were a boy or girl, biological or adopted, nothing mattered for him.

Butters just wanted a sibling to take care of.

After months and relentless attempts at his parents for a younger sibling, he got what he wanted.

When his parents came home with you one day, you can bet that Butters was jumping around in excitement.

When he ran to long at you, he thought you were adorable, you seemed shy though.

It would probably take time for you to warm up to him, but that didn’t matter.

Butters often got grounded a lot, more often than not, for the dumbest things too.

You had a slight advantage by getting grounded less often, but you both spent your time wisely.

Hanging out while grounded was the best thing you both could do, especially since you’re both stuck in the house.

Butters tries his best to protect you from bullies in your grade, yet you’re doing just fine.

Gives you some of his allowance if you ever need extra money, takes you out to hangout with your friends as well.

Really nice to you in general, but will most likely never let you meet his friends.

They aren’t the type of people he wants you to be around.

Butters often feels really bad for you when you get in trouble, so he might take the blame for you and get grounded instead.

He really cares for you, just show that you appreciate him back, he wants to have you feel like you’re really family.

“Do you wanna play Hello Kitty Island Adventure with me?”

Post-Covid

In Post-Covid, Butters kind of loses himself a bit.

Being grounded and trapped in his room all the time really screwed him up mentally, and it shows in his adulthood.

Both of you kind of disconnect, especially once he gets locked away in an asylum for influencing NFTs.

Somehow Butters still manages his way to contact you, maybe electronically or through letters, yet you ignore him.

Butters isn’t the same, you don’t like how he tries talking with you.

He doesn’t really care about you as much, no matter how much he says it.

Every letter or message he sends you is always hidden with some kind of encouragement to invest with NFTs, you’ve gotten used to finding it out.

He almost got you at one point, you almost believed him since he was talking about how much he missed you, you got really upset after that.

You don’t talk to Butters at all, you don’t think that your brother would ever actually change.

Butters is a lot better in the fixed timeline, showing almost all the same attributes he did when you were both kids.

He’s always there to support you on whatever you end up doing with your life.

If you ever have kids in the future, he will be the best uncle.

Butters might be a little too nice to your kids though, accidentally spoiling them when he buys then candy for the 5th time that week.

Even after all these years, he’s still that same person you can always go to for support.

You’re still just as nice as you were before, which is probably why your relationship with him still stands.

You both still hangout together from time to time, yet it won’t be as often as how it used to be.

Butters would be one of the best siblings you could have.

“Oh jeez.. I guess I really spoiled them, huh?”

[khr-guilded-cage]

Her position of puppet heir was a weird one

Timoteo wanted the 'best' for her (she caught the man trying to poach stronger Elements from already bonded skies and even threats minor and subordinates families to gain acess to Powerful Elements for his new heir, much like he did for his sons)

He couldn't threated her family so bluntly as he did to Xanxus's Guardians and insist on acting 'protective' over her because 'they are family' and trying keep her away from 'bad influences' (said bad influences included her own father)

He wanted her powerful, but powerless. She caught Reborn trying to break the seals on her bag and scrolls multiple times, CEDEF seemed obssessed in having acess to sealing and her more...unusual abilities

If she wasn't the last heir, she would probally be send to one of Vongola's labs or begin blackmailed/threaten to 'share' the secret of her power with them

The way Timoteo spoke...as if she was Vongola's property and everyone hers belonged to them, made her skin crawl

She remembered Danzo Shimura and his obssession with her bloodline and clan

Their attempts to sugar coat it enraged her

Reborn keep trying to shove Dino Cavallone at her 'older brother figure' as if she didn't have cousins and a family already. The blond man was infuriating as the rest of them, as still ones of Reborn's scared obedient dogs

'No. You don't undertand.' Yuka snaps, livid with fury. 'I ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY, you you are not part of it, Vongola isn't ny Family. Vongola is threat to me and my family. How dare Vongola attempt to ruin their lives. How dare you think you have any claim on my life, your senile fucker? I will burn your worthless hellhole of a Family."

Honestly.

'No, it was not. Stop. Lying.' Yuka snaps. 'For fuck's sake, are you physically incapable of telling the truth? Great lord, at this point I should just kill you and take the throne myself, your old vile snake.'

She wasn't emotionally vulnerable as Sawada Tsunayoshi, she had plently of Family at her side and no matter how much Reborn tried to estabilish himself as a 'male figure of authority' in her life, she denied him that. Hoshi just smiled at her side.

Reborn's attempts to physically and mentally beat her weren’t forgotten as he hoped. The hitman was a vile man, not matter how 'funny' and 'charming' he tried to be

They keep Tsuna broken and friendless because it was...easier for them to keep the heir malleable and civilian

[dementedspeedster]

++ How long has Thad/Inertia been known by public or even heroes and vigilantes? What are most people's view on him as Thad? What are people's views on him as Inertia?

Accepting || Send me or my muse curious anons

How long has Thad/Inertia been known by public or even heroes and vigilantes?

For the record this is me extrapolating from comic canon and the implications of his appearances in comics.

I like to think that Thad as a villain becomes more known to the public after he kills the fourth Flash (Bart Allen). People also probably became more aware of him during the period he was planning his revenge/murder on Bart and hanging around The Rogues.

Prior to that he's not exactly a public villainous figure despite operating as a villain since he was 14 years old (currently in blog canon he's 21-22). Thad prior to murdering Bart kept his villainy within the realm of personal vendetta against Bart, so he wasn't a public villain/the public really wouldn't know anything about him at that time.

As for heroes and other vigilantes, The Flash family has known about him since he was 14, which was when he impersonated Bart (so during the Impulse comics, that era). During that time though anyone beyond the Flash Fam probably wouldn't have had any knowledge of him. After that though he has also come into direct conflict with the Teen Titans (though once again that's due to his grudge and conflict with Bart).

Currently and with regard to this blog's canon, Thad's become more public villainous figure as he's moved away from his grudge/vendetta against Bart, at least in the sense of his obsessive desire to kill him, but on a smaller scale. Thad tries not to take too public of an approach to his villainy. Heroes know he's out there committing crimes like robbery, working for other villains, etc. He tries to keep it low-key so to speak. He's not there to make a spectacle of his crimes. He's a villain because it's what he knows how to do and it's how he survives in society. It makes sense to him because he hasn't had much experience with other options, and because like his alias he tends to resist change.

2. What are people's views on him as Inertia?

Ah! I forgot to mention this in my last answer, but the people of Central City and Keystone City would be the most knowledgeable about Inertia (because he killed the fourth Flash and because Thad did have a display up in the Flash Museum (though unbeknownst to the public it was actually him there, he was just paralyzed; long story)). I doubt the people of Keystone and Central have a high opinion of him since he killed Bart when he was the Flash, but honestly he doesn't care about the public opinion of him as a villain.

Outside of the Gem Cities I would assume it's not good with respect to the people who have heard of him, but overall I think Thad isn't very well known as a villain. He should be relatively known within villain circles, but with regard to the public? I think he's less known so there isn't really much of consensus on him except that he's a villain and he killed The Flash.

3. What are most people's view on him as Thad?

Outside of the talk of the general public, Thad is sorta mixed bag perception-wise. Some like him, some hate him, some warm up to him, it just all depends. Also generally speaking there's not really a separation between Thad and Inertia. He doesn't really move through the world with a secret identity especially when interacting with other heroes or villains. Thad is Inertia, Inertia is Thad. So if people know him as Inertia, if they know what he's done, then that perception influences him as a whole. There's no real hiding. There's also no other sides to when it comes to this perceived Inertia-Thad dichotomy or different. Thad doesn't act any different whether he's in costume or out of it. He's serious, temperamental, has a sharp tongue, caustic wit, a bad attitude at times whether he's in costume or out of it. What you see is what you get so to speak. It depends on the individual. Thad would assumed most people's view of him is negative cause he's a villain, but overall I think there's no simple consensus to Thad. Opinions of him vary and they vary widely I think.

[thebibliomancer]

What If? Vol. 2 #6: What If… the X-Men Lost Inferno?

Well, nothing good!

It was a demonic invasion of New York powered by Summers family drama!

Mr Fantastic made up a BS story about AIM UFOs shooting insanity radiation at the populace because that’s more bearable than knowing that the world almost went to hell!

Inferno caused the Worst Avengers Roster! That’s how bad it was!

So what if things went even more badly? How would that play out?

Well, for one thing, Wolverine eats an unspecified number of babies.

In the original event, Illyana stopped Inferno by retconning her own backstory of being kidnapped and raised in Limbo.

This forced closed the baby-powered pentagram and sucked all the demons back to Limbo except boss demon N’astirh.

N’astirh had a side hustle going on with Scott’s angry clone wife Madelyne Pryor so he tries to get her to sacrifice baby Nathan to re-open the pentagram.

The X-Men show up and kill his ass and then Jean and Madelyne have a confrontation which ends with Jean getting a free baby.

But in this What If? when Illyana sends all the demons back to Limbo, other prominent demon S’ym lands right next to Illyana’s soulsword and uses it to go back to Earth and absorb N’astirh’s power when he dies.

He and Madelyne team up to kill the X-Men except for Wolverine, who S’ym takes as a pet.

And he feeds him babies.

This What If? leans into some edge. Because Inferno.

Dr Strange, the hero of this story, gathers a group of surviving mystics and other heroes and also Baron Mordo to try to find a way to undo Inferno.

(Dr Druid definitely shouldn’t be here. Right before Inferno he fell into a negative time wedgie because he was simping for Nebularavonna too hard.)

Strange is working on borrowed time.

Not only do demon raids keep chipping away at his group but the demonic takeover of Earth is eventually going to aggro the Living Tribunal who doesn’t have any reaction lower than overreaction.

To save anything of Earth, Strange needs to come up with a plan before the Living Tribunal shows up and blows it the fuck up.

He finally finds a bit of hope in a mannequin.

The mannequin is actually Rachel Phoenix Summers, transformed earlier in the event and not saved until now in this twisted timeline.

With Rachel, Dr Strange finally has a desperate plan. Truly desperate because the Living Tribunal is on their way NOW.

Strange wants to roll the dice on the Phoenix. Use Rachel’s connection to the cosmic bird and ask it to “purge” the demonic taint from Earth and hope the firebird doesn’t just burn the planet to a cinder.

This might kill anyone that’s been corrupted by the demons so Rachel isn’t so sure.

Unfortunately, Mordo did his sudden yet inevitable betrayal and S’ym, Madelyne, and various demons show up and kill Human Torch.

Dr Strange holds back the demons while Rachel begins communing with the Phoenix. But Madelyne tries to get the Phoenix to pay attention to her instead.

Mordo pulls a sudden yet inevitable two for one betrayal on both S’ym and Strange.

Kitty Pryde stops Wolverine from sneaking up on Strange and gets gutted.

James “Eats Babies” Howlett has a breakdown over this and declares that killing Kitty killed any remaining good he had left.

He kills Mordo and gets killed in turn. S’ym’s ghost takes over Wolverine’s skeleton and backstabs Madelyne just out of spite.

How the hell do Wolverine’s claws work if they go to his elbow when extended? Where do they go? How does he bend his arm?

Anyway, Strange tells Rachel to ignore Wolvers’ym and just focus on the Phoenix.

She do that and the Phoenix shows up and bathes the world in flames.

The Living Tribunal shows up, has a cosmic conversation with the Phoenix, and then basically peaces out “my work here is done” style.

As for Earth?

Well. Some kind of happy ending comes out of this.

The Phoenix did remove all the demonic influence from the world… and also wiped out modern civilization.

Humanity continues on. New babies are born.

Including a child of Johnny Storm and Alicia-

Hey, wait. She’s a Skrull.

I went into a bit more detail than I think I needed for this one.

It’s baffling.

It hits a weird balance of feeling edgy for the sake of edge and lacking Inferno’s edge.

Demon Wolverine gets slightly too much focus to be pointless but sightly too little to not feel wasted. He was definitely in the story mainly to slap on the cover.

Compared to some of the “and then things went horrible wrong” stories, this one at least wrings out a bittersweet ending.

The divergence point is really arbitrary. A real diabolus ex machina. But given what we’re dealing with, that’s kind of appropriate.

I dunno. Not my favorite What If? but it told more of a story than the Evolutionary War one.

I sat with the screenshots in my to-do pile too long and any strong feelings I felt about this story have leaked away.

So I guess I land on it is a story and it definitely occurred.

[maescroc]

THE NISHIDAKE FAMILY

Here's my version of the Nishidake family ! Keep reading to discover their story. :)

(Their house was made by the extremely talented @ploufzizi along with the Onsen at which Sachiko works.)

Household description

The Nishidake are considered as pillars of Mt. Komorebi society, the rumor says that they are the sacred guardians of the place. Indeed, while Shigeru organizes the great fall of the Ito House by corrupting their first born during their martial arts class in his dojo, Sachiko takes care of her community, physically as well as psychologically. Kaori moved t Mt. Komorebi with her elders after her parents passed away mysteriously... She hass a cruh on Kiyoshi Ito - like half of the school - but can't keep herself from having a bad feeling when she hangs out with him. Maybe it's just the grief talking or maybe his family has something to hid in their mysterious mansion...

Sachiko Nishidake

Elder

Massage therapist at the Onsen (by @ploufzizi)

Wise

Loves outdoors

Generous

Chopstick savvy

Incredibly friendly

With the death of her son, Sachiko has now too many people to visit at the Mt. Komorebi cemetery. Indeed, her childhood bestfriend Asami Natsukashii rests there too. But grieving does not stop her from taking care of the ones left behind - like Kaori and Megum i- with good meals and massages. Her granddaughter has been a real ray of sunshine in the household ven though Sachiko's heart breaks every night when she hears Kaori cry.

Shigeru Nishidake

Elder

Dojo instructor

Hot-headed

Glutton

Cringe

Mentor

Chopstick savvy

Shigeru is a passionate iunstructor of martial arts but since the death of his son, his mojo has been fragile. He cannot stay calm no matter how much he meditates but he channels his anger towards the Ito family and their modernizatin plan... To ruin it, he influences his long-time student, Kiyoshi Ito. The last thing he wants is to betray his trainee but he needs to make sure that the son will never take upon the task of his father.

Kaori Nishidake

Teen

Extreme Sports enthusiast

Socially Awkward

Adventurous

Chopstick savvy

In the know

Kaori, who had always been of a cheerful nature has, since the death of her parents become a gllomy sim. The only thing that cheers her up is to spend time snowboarding. She moved from San Myshuno to Mt. Komorebi and has lost her friends in the process. Though she tries to hang out with teens here, she has a bad feeling in her gut especially when around Kiyoshi.

I hope you like them as much as I do, the Kaori-Shigeru duo is really fun to play because of their respective traits (Socially awkward and Cringe) and I absolutely adore sending Sachiko on hikes.

Shigeru's Dojo

[marigoldsandbuttercups]

Hello you wonderful human you!~

I hope you've been well and that 2023 has been treating you nicely ❤️

May I request some more headcanons?

How would your UF, US and SF skellie bros react to a hostile alien invasion after humans attacked them first? Who would fight back? Who would run? Who would join forces with the aliens?? Would any of them have a major role in the conflict?

Feel free to change up the characters if you think another's reaction would be more interesting or if there are too many of them! Thanks in advance~ 🛸

Thank you! I hope 2023 has been good to you as well hueheueh

And you always can send in whenever you like, wherever you like! Whether that'd be on a Tuesday morning, a Saturday evening, when you're venting during a game of amogus, the ask box is always open.

Woah That's An Alien... Wait There's More Aw Shit They're Mad

Red: "didn't you fuckers learn what happened the first time you tried to fight a different species what the fuck they're gonna steal all my crops now-" he is Not Pleased but also, will barely be an active participant unless they come near his brother or you (provided you didn't start shit). If it ain't his fault, he didn't see it, but also he cares, ya know? Shits complicated.

Edge: When it comes to Edge, he's... More inclined to do his own thing. He's not Bad™ or Good™, he's just there, doing his own thing. (You can absolutely see Reds influence on him here lmfao) He doesn't believe he should be fighting for the fault of others (that being on the side of the humans) but he also likely wouldn't be helping the aliens if they can handle themselves well (so help them if they come within 100 metres of his things tho-)

Blue: "..... Who Did What Now? " He's so lost, the poor man. He's like, trying to wrap his mind around why humans would want to start a war with a species they know next to nothing now. While Blue's moral compass isn't as flimsy as old scarf he has on constantly, he, uh, wouldn't really want to be picking sides but maybe try to prevent any casualties if he could. Or if he's unable to do that, at least keep his family safe.

Stretch: " Man,,,,, you, uh, you think they like weed? " followed by a smack up the side of his head but do not think this is on purpose, oh no, this man is absolutely shitting himself as every scenario runs through his mind of how this could get so much worse. He's just really good at covering it up with his goofy demeanour, but he also sucks ass at keeping a facade so you can easily catch when he looks worried. He's honestly more likely to have his family hide as well as himself.

Black: It's.... Complicated. He's not happy with the fact that humans have, once again, started a war with an entire species but he cannot say he's exactly surprised. Milord is probably one of the few ones that are actually like, having to take charge of the situation because as much as he's upset there are people that he cares about here, and that will be his priority first and foremost.

Rus: On the other hand... Is more akin to hide away. It's not that he's scared, this man has seen death in the face too many times, it's just.... He doesn't really enjoy being involved in conflict. He doesn't like having to fight or hurt others for something someone else has done so he resorts to staying in his own lane, watching from the sidelines until he's quite literally forced to do something about because all other options have been exhausted.

[runelocked]

Parenting for the meta meme!

SEND ME A TOPIC TO WRITE META ABOUT MY MUSE ! / ALWAYS ACCEPTING.

i’ll keep this to parenting in general / his thoughts on being a parent because writing about william’s relationships with his individual children is a whole OTHER meta post (that i’ll add to this if nobody asks me specifically about them GDKHD). maaybe long post ? stay tuned anyway:

it took him a long time to accept he was going to be a parent. it wasn’t that he had a horrific upbringing — it was, as most things in his life were, fine. tolerable — but the idea of fatherhood left an uneasy taste in his mouth. memories of strict instructions to stand up straight and tuck his shirt in before supper and don’t let your sister out of your sight. if fatherhood is unnerving to him, the idea of being in charge of a child is something else entirely. it takes william a long time to grow up, and the thought of being responsible for a baby is horrifying at first. he can barely keep himself together, especially with his head and his mood swings wrecking havoc on any semblance of a normal life he tries to establish. he doesn’t want to be like his father. doesn’t want to be anything but his father. after finding out michael would be born, it takes him a good few weeks to genuinely come round to the idea (mostly thanks to henry) after lying his ass off to clara (who could tell he was terrified, but gave him space to process).

after that, he was hands on. covering the cost of a small apartment for him and clara while working between the diner plans at nights and a professor’s assistant during the day to make money to buy a house, their house. he genuinely throws himself into it — as he does with ever ‘passion project’ he’s ever got his hands on — and is determined to make himself the best father ever. even steals a book from the library on parenting and then turns to clara horrified that he’s a bad influence. she stops laughing at him eventually.

of course, actually BEING a father is different from preparing to be one. william is stunned speechless when he sees his children for the first time — all of them — and tears up when he gets to hold each of them. in the early years, especially with michael, his parenting style is softer and more indulgent. plants his hopes and dreams on his children, determined for them to grow up in his footsteps, or better.

as years pass, just before elizabeth is born, the diner is finished. william is instantly busier, splitting his time between caring for his pregnant wife, running the business, helping out on the actual diner stage, and his son . . . who unfortunately gets the short end of the stick. when elizabeth is born a few months later, william has his hands full. long days playing and reading to his children turns to distracted promises to see them later, showing his affection through expensive gifts and crafted diner memorabilia. for elizabeth it’s all she’s known — her dad is busy, but he loves her — but for michael, william’s absence is new and unfamiliar and upsetting. this only redoubles when evan is born, and the gifts pour in, turning more and more towards the younger two.

william’s mostly oblivious to the discontent his absences cause. in his eyes, he’s doing what he has to — it’s not as if they don’t have a mother, and he would have loved HIS father to give him gifts. besides, his attention is turning once again to michael, who he’s decided, when william is busy, needs to start acting like the man of the household. yay for gender stereotypes ! coming down harder on michael for small things, pushing elizabeth away from rougher activities, trying in vain to get evan to enjoy more sports or rough play. for the most part, genuinely believes he’s doing good — regardless of his own crisis about gender stereotypes & sexuality (WHICH AGAIN. ANOTHER META COMING SOON.), he knows what is acceptable and what the typical perfect family looks like. has had this idea in his head since the moment he’d been old enough to realize he was defunct in some way. michael’s roughness towards evan is encouraged, to an extent, both by william’s deliberate ignorance and by his mantra of getting his boys to “toughen up”. be a real man.

it’s hard to say that william is a parent after the events of the 83 birthday party, because although he certainly comes home, spends more time around his family, he is essentially a bad - tempered stranger with all seeing eyes and mean words. irreconcilable with the father he’d been to michael as a baby. he isn’t so much a father as he is a business owner, arranging his broken family in a way that makes it presentable to a public gaze. when his wife leaves, this only redoubles. normalcy is key. the aftons are and always will be normal, respectable figures.

after elizabeth dies, he does soften. this isn’t as good a thing as it sounds !! losing two children shatters something inside of him that he will never get back, and he realizes very abruptly that his pushing michael away is going to leave him with no one. his last child, his only remaining boy. to an extent, he softens towards him. is more present, keeps a closer scrutiny on him. while this might not manifest externally — his strictness and guilt tripping doesn’t cease, that’s for sure — it shows in the form of trying to include michael in his work more. factoring the fact he has a son into his plans, making time to monitor him, observe him, putting aside remnant for the day he can declare his successes to him.

it never comes, but there are still vials of remnant with michael’s name on them somewhere in the afton basement, tucked under loose floorboards along with the fredbear plushie.

[selfless1978]

<previous

next>

TURNING INTO A MARTYR

Leo put the paper down on the desk. A sigh of frustration escaping him. Nothing here could tell him anything that he didn’t already know. There had to be something missing.

“Leo?” Donnie walked up, new papers in his hands. “I was finally able to dig deeper into her background. Sorry it took me so long, some of the information was difficult to come by. Especially school reports.” He handed them over to his older brother.

“Thank you.” Leo murmured and began to read.

And his frown deepened as he did. What was on these papers explained a lot to him. The more he read, the more he shook his head in disbelief. “God dammit.”

“What?” Donnie had walked up and brought two mugs with him, one full of coffee for him and tea for Leo. 

“Have you read through this?” Leo asked wearily as he leaned back in his chair, or Donnie’s chair rather since he was using Donnie’s desk.

“Not the specifics.” Donnie replied, handing Leo the mug of tea before sitting on the edge of the desk. “Just browsed to make sure it was documentation I needed on her.”

Leo rubbed his face. “Donnie, I have to say, after reading through all of this, I’m not surprised at how she turned out.”

The genius raised a brow at that. “Mind elaborating?”

Leo sighed and dropped the papers on the desk. “How much can one person take before they snap.... Donnie, she was just six years old when this all started. She was molested by a family friend. He didn’t get caught until after her family moved away. He targeted a friend of hers, and when she refused he killed her with a hammer. She testified in the murder trial. But he was never tried for what he did to her.”

“Good god....” Donnie mumbled.

“It doesn’t stop there. He was found guilty, and got a life sentence. But she most certainly did not have the best life afterwards. School was very difficult for her.” Leo leaned forward and started to sort through the pile of papers again. As if he tried to send some of his calm influence through to the troubled girl described within. “She was bullied relentlessly. Apparently because she was one of the, if not the, poorest children and her grades were just enough for her to graduate. It was never properly dealt with and went on for years”

Donnie nodded slowly. He could easily see how the two could be connected. “What happened after Highschool?”

“She joined the Army. Military Police. There isn’t a stain on her record, except for a court martial she had to testify in. She was raped by one of her leaders.”

“Oh no....”

“It gets worse, he only got three months in prison, and it wasn’t even because of her case. They found him not guilty in her scenario.”

“I’m beginning to see a pattern here.” Donnie sighed.

“I thought you might.” Leo said with a frown. “Anyway, she left the service after 3 and a half years. From what I read, she has a seriously messed up ankle. Bad enough to where she couldn’t run. There was even a suggestion from one of her physicians that she receive a medical discharge. She had just started her physical therapy appointments when the paperwork came in to release her from the service. No medical. They threw her out for ‘failure to adapt’. She got nothing. No medical help for her ankle whatso ever.” Leo looked at his brother again. “That killed any dream she may have had of becoming a police officer, or staying in the military.”

“I’m almost scared to ask what happened next.”

“She worked.” Leo replied. “First as a security guard, and was laid off when the company went belly up. She bounced around after that. She did get married, and it fell apart when her daughter was just over two.”

“She the youngest?”

Leo nodded. “Her son was born a year and a half earlier. Her ex was the one who actually filed for divorce, after leaving her with no money or vehicle. She ended up getting fired because of that. She bounced around, I’m not sure why exactly. But her jobs from then on weren't the greatest. Convenience store clerk, low paying warehouse employee, etc. After awhile, she got laid off again and she just disappears from all the records except for state assistance. Until almost two years later. That was when her kids were taken from her.”

“Which brings us to now.” Donnie was running his thumb over the handle of his mug thoughtfully. “Dad ever help out with the kids?”

Leo’s face took on a mild tone of anger. “Not enough to make a difference. And the child support she got from him was laughable.”

“Leo, a few of these things alone is hard to deal with. But it seemed nonstop with her.”

“And that’s just the broad outline. She had also deployed, twice. Both in high risk areas. Who knows really what she experienced there.” 

“She does.” Donnie replied somberly. “You said she seemed hateful towards everything. I think I can understand why.”

“Not everything.” Leo corrected as he looked at another piece of paper. At the two small children pictured with their mother. “She follows no laws but her own.”

“Dangerous life for a mother.” Donnie was also looking at the picture.

“Even more so if she believes this path is the right way to challenge things. Those kids will end up with a martyr for a mother.” He stood up suddenly, his face determined. “And I’ll be damned if I let that happen.”

@infuriatedleprechaun @raisin-shell

[erigold13261]

Wait… if Neon J keeps his head… is he still married to Martha? (Failed Revolution AU ask)

No, unfortunately he is not. Even OG Neon still had his head when he got divorced by Martha. In both versions of their relationship Martha cheats on Neon and have a kid out of the affair. The difference is how they deal with the aftermath. [Trigger warning for child death, implied child abuse, and talks of alcohol abuse]

The OG versions of them have Neon spending more time with the navy and inadvertently neglecting Martha, Aria (their daughter), and the 1010 dolls. This is just a trauma response to bad things happening where he tries to work a lot and keep his mind away from the bad things. Trying to push bad thoughts away and pretending to be happy.

This just causes Martha to keep seeking out other men for comfort and love, and taking her anger and frustration out on the 1010 dolls whenever Neon is not home. Eventually leading her to divorce him, taking full custody of Aria, and asking for a pretty high child support price from him.

It is this fact that Neon is giving child support that causes him to get the radar head. It helped him get his life together enough to make more money and keep paying child support, and even other things Martha requests (they are still in contact but not face to face, and Neon has barely ever seen Aria other than the occasional picture Martha will send in a letter or something).

With the Failed Revolution, Neon reacts differently to the affair. He still stays with Martha, but realizes that he needs to be there for her more (this is because he has a different relationship with his parents). He takes more time off from the Navy whenever he can to spend time with his family. Martha does not continue to cheat, she is actually quite loyal now to Neon, and does not hurt or abuse the 1010 dolls. She doesn't fully love them as she still sees them as machines, but she is not bad to them.

The difference here is, BECAUSE their relationship is good, instead of sleeping on the couch like the OG Neon was, Failed Revolution Neon was asleep in his bed with Martha. So when a fire started because Martha left the stove on, Failed Revolution Neon was not close enough to stop it before it got out of hand.

Martha and Neon were able to get out fine enough, but Aria breathed in a lot of smoke, while the dolls were trapped in the basement. The dolls were fully destroyed and Aria ended up dying later on from smoke inhalation. This is what lead to Neon and Martha's divorce, why Neon is trying his best to not get attached to 1010, and why 1010 do not have any memories of Martha or a childhood.

Understandably, this Neon is not as happy as OG Neon, and without the pressure of supporting a daughter and ex-wife, Failed Revolution Neon had no pressure to get the full cyborgification surgery. He did get upgraded limbs and internal organs, but was adamant about keeping his head.

And unlike OG Neon, who used to drink a lot as a teen and in the navy then later become a full addict after the divorce but forced to go sober because of his cybernetics, Failed Revolution Neon was the type to never drink, only started drinking after the death of his kids and the divorce, and he still drinks up to the present day with no real sign of slowing down (at least not while working with NSR).

This is actually why he and Mama don't get along. Mama just sees him as a bad influence, and later on doesn't trust him because of the cybernetics/1010. And Neon can't form a real bond with Yinu like OG Neon can because whenever he sees bits of Aria in Yinu, he is hit by a wave of grief, regret, and sadness, causing him to try and keep his distance from Yinu and Mama (and later on that day probably drink more than he can handle, causing 1010 to deal with the burden of caring for their shitfaced captain).

I will say this, I don't think there is a single AU I have that has Neon and Martha work out. Depending on the AU, whether it be Martha as the biological mother of that AUs version of 1010 or Neon as the creator of 1010, they almost all have Martha as a bad mother (either from abuse, neglect, or straight up abandonment). Martha is just not the type of person who should be having kids. She is decent to Aria, but not as good of a mother as she should have been (and the men she does date after Neon are not very good, again, this applies to almost all AUs of Martha).

[ruminate88]

Treat People LIKE PEOPLE, Not Pawns:

12/09/24 Being Objectified 

It starts in the atmosphere you were born in. Was it a toxic atmosphere? That most likely determines how you grow up to see the world and people around you. I do believe you can even be influenced throughout your life by others you come in contact with. Let me share my story: 

School labeled me by the second grade and made me feel less than… I never felt smart in school and the kids weren’t always very nice to me so, I started to form this opinion at a young age that the world is very cruel and cold. I already felt misunderstood greatly. At home, I felt pretty safe for the most part. My dad could be tough on me at times but I still felt like my parents loved me even if they didn’t understand me either. I felt so stupid and not good enough! I slowly formed the opinion that I needed to protect other people who felt the way I did …

When I dated my exes and they’re telling me they’re not good enough OR they’re telling me they have mental struggles, I relate to them and feel protective over them!! I wanted them to feel better about themselves and so I tried really hard to show them a safe space to show them love… I’m not sure anyone else has shown them that kind of love but it seems to me, that, those who have had childhood trauma have not been loved correctly and they’ve grown up seeing people as “well, everybody does what they have to to get their way in life or to be successful. It’s a dog eat dog world.” (Which I sorta agree a little) they have been controlled in childhood and or they’ve been sooo hurt, now they too are controlling.

Some parents will use their children to make them look good or to get their way on things and that child feels that they have to please their parents and they’re not allowed to even really have their own opinions!!! That’s sad.. I could imagine if my parents tried to force me to have the same opinions as them all the time, that I would probably push them away because I’m a very stubborn and strong willed person!!! It’s also why I found myself in so many toxic relationships is because that’s attractive to a controlling person evidently. 

It’s clear to me now, that my exes saw me as a toy the way they praised my body and the pictures I would send them. They would tell me how beautiful I am, but they would never respect me or feel sorry for me when they’re hurting my feelings. My last relationship said “if I’m hurting you so much, then just stop caring about me. Why do you care about somebody who only hurts you?” That was obviously his way of being defensive towards me, but also not taking accountability, putting it all back onto me to make me look bad instead and he lacks empathy possibly so he can’t feel sorry that he’s made me cry and that he’s made me so upset. When sadly, if it was the other way around and I had made him cry, I would be on my knees telling him how much I apologize and I would try to take those tears away…. 

All I ever wanted was to relate to my exes and to let them know that they’re not alone!! I’ve struggled all my life to feel. “good enough“ that’s why every time my ex Andrew said he wasn’t good enough for me, it ALWAYS crushed me because I knew how that felt all my life and I never wanted him to feel that… I was trying so hard to protect him and keep him safe, but he was only hurting me the whole time because he only sees me as a person to use and possibly because he too was being used all his life by his family.. 💔 I could be wrong and judging his situation wrongly and if I am, I pray he forgives me, but this is just what I’ve seen from the outside looking in. The way he looked sooooo successful and even told me he didn’t feel good enough for his parents but yet got defensive when I found his mom’s Facebook and saw his baby photos… Why you so upset by that if there’s no issues there??? 

If you’ve never been treated like a person yourself, then you obviously will not know how to treat others and that’s just the hard facts . then on the other aspect of it all, if you’ve grown up in a family that teaches you have to love others and put others first, then you almost always find yourself being taken advantage of and walked on. That’s why you have to find that healthy balance of still loving and respecting others, but respecting yourself too, and not letting people always run you into the ground. I did that one relationship after the other, I let them use and abuse me and it made me cold and it made me disconnected from myself and the ones that I love that’s not good!

Healing so I can be a loving and warm person again, but so I can be wiser too and treat people even better, but also treat myself well too no longer will I be somebody’s pawn and I don’t want to be like my exes. I’m terrified to turn into them because there has been moments where they’ve made me so cold and angry at the world that I almost feel like why do I even love people when they treat me this way just treat them the way they treat me but that’s not right. I know I have to still love and respect people and also you have to forgive people. It’s for your own good, it’s nothing to even do with them. They did you wrong you’re not saying what they did was OK you are saying that you are the bigger person and that you don’t wanna hold onto the poison forever. Hope this helps. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹