#and because he doesn't want to move away from River at any time

[sevilynne]

"B—but... Snivellus is a death eater..."

Listen here, you little shit. For Severus, he got neglected by BOTH parents (and it was implied that he was abused both physically and mentally as well.), gets bullied by two boys because he wanted to go to Slytherin (who sneers back and ends up getting bullied), almost gets killed and Sirius nor Remus gets any consequences other than detention (Really? Is his life worth detention and not Azkaban?), James flexes it to Lily and Lily starts believing James over the victim, Severus accidentally calls his bestfriend a mudblood over the heat of the situation (Lily was about to smile, when James literally used scorgify in his mouth), loses the person thay cared for him the most compared to others (Which Lily isn't even a good friend, so his life is messed up), with Remus and Sirius not maturing (Sirius still calls Severus "Snivellus", and Remus and Sirius spreading lies like "Severus was jealous of James" or "Lily never hated James," when it's the other way around!!! James was jealous of Severus because he existed and Lily was his best friend!

Now his blood supremacist friends are basically recruiting him, and helping him on the way! Basically, the "bad side" is his good side! They are the only ones who "cared" for him when he needed help! He was a death eater for a reason, and people manipulating him because he was vulnerable is a reason.

The audacity of stans trying to make a hotter version of Severus—Regulus? Regulus is basically a walmart Severus but Timothée Chalamet dressed up in wizard robes! If Regulus was told as ugly, nobody would boohoo care about him.

Y'all only hate Severus and love Regulus because J.K. Rowling never made a Marauders era movie! Regulus is basically a blood supremacist with Voldemort shrines and posters who'd call Lily a mudblood! While Severus is basically bullied on a daily basis.

You guys got to see Severus's good and bad things! Like him "bullying" children, but saved the wizarding world. Literally, maybe he targeted children, but so did Minerva! Minerva literally targeted Neville and locked him outside of the Gryffindor common room when there's an apparent psycho killer, and humiliated him infront of everyone! But we all never see that because we are in Harry's POV, she favours him—she only took points and she was apparently fair because Harry's BIASED!!! Just like how all Slytherins are portrayed because of Hagrid and Ron!!! She favours Gryffindor just like how Severus favours Slytherin, except she takes big points away (which is from Gryffindors she doesn't like) and when she's infront of the professors!

Severus is a morally grey character, and Regulus? We basically time skipped him, we skipped all of the bad things he has done while we never skipped Severus's, that's why you don't have a bad opinion about him, but really! In the Marauders timeline, Regulus was a Voldemort fanboy while Severus literally had stuff happening.

This is why you don't hate James Potter, you guys basically skipped HIS timeline and moved to Harry's, which Severus is portrayed to be this big bad bully until DH! And that's why Harry "Snape's #1 Biggest Hater" Potter's vision changed to "Snape's #1 Biggest Defender", just like how his vision changed from "My father is a great man" to "I fucking hate my own father".

But you guys are so deep into these fanfics like CR (Crimson Rivers) or ATYD (All the Young Dudes) that you all forget about canon lore! He physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, and mentally exhausted Severus! We're not throwing the SA word around, because lets think of this:

———

Lily let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but her wand being ten feet away, nothing happened.

“Wash out your mouth,” said James coldly. “Scourgify!”

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Lily’s mouth at once; the froth was covering her lips, making her gag, choking her —

“Leave her ALONE!”

James and Sirius looked around. James’s free hand jumped to his hair again.

It was one of the boys from the lake edge. He had black hair that fell to his shoulders and startlingly onyx eyes.

“All right, Snape?” said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.

“Leave her alone,” Severus repeated. He was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. “What’s she done to you?”

“Well,” said James, appearing to deliberate the point, “it’s more the fact that she exists, if you know what I mean...”

Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn’t, and neither did Severus.

“You think you’re funny,” he said coldly. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave her alone."

Behind her, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Lily was beginning to inch toward her fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly, turning back to Evans. “OY!”

But too late; Lily had directed her wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood.

James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Lily was hanging upside down in the air, her robes falling over her head to reveal skinny legs and a skirt.

Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter. Severus, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though he was going to smile, said, “Let her down!”

“Certainly,” said James and he jerked his wand upward. Evans fell into a crumpled heap on the ground.

Disentangling herself from her robes, she got quickly to her feet, wand up, but Sirius said, “Petrificus Totalus!” and Lily keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.

“LEAVE HER ALONE!” Severus shouted. He had his own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

“Ah, Snape, don’t make me hex you,” said James earnestly.

“Take the curse off her, then!”

James sighed deeply, then turned to Lily and muttered the countercurse.

“There you go,” he said, as Lily struggled to her feet again, “you’re lucky Snape was here, Evans —”

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like him!" (Severus is canonically a Mudblood because he has dirty blood—Muggle blood)

Severus blinked.

“Fine,” he said coolly. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your skirt if I were you, Evans.”

“Apologize to Snape!” James roared at Evans, his wand pointed threateningly at her.

“I don’t want you to make her apologize,” Severus shouted, rounding on James. “You’re as bad as she is.”

“What?” yelped James. “I’d NEVER call you a — you-know-what!”

“[...], walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.”

He turned on his heel and hurried away.

“Snape!” James shouted after him, “Hey, SNAPE!” But he didn’t look back.

“What is it with him?” said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

“Reading between the lines, I’d say he thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,” said Sirius.

“Right,” said James, who looked furious now, “right —”

There was another flash of light, and Evans was once again hanging upside down in the air.

“Who wants to see me take off Evans’s skirt?”

———

Now, let's see if this isn't messed up. This is humiliating! Why did Severus leave his female best friend when she was being PA'd and SA'd by a male! Why did he take out his wand too late? Why is he such a coward?

Gender roles do matter in this context, no matter if Severus considers this as SA or not, it's SA and he got his pants stripped down, but it doesn't matter, he's a boy isn't he?

If this was Lily, everyone would care, but no! It's greasy, slimy, old Snape, and he's a boy.

Sirius nor James used dark spells, but they were pretty much using hexes so it doesn't matter—they are basically baby DE bullies but Gryffindors.

Stop attacking Severus and start thinking about this, because he was just a boy.

A lot of people (Not all) cared for Harry when Myrtle basically tried to SA him, why not Severus? He was stripped infront of the whole school! (Not invalidating Harry's trauma), this is just so messed up.

[calicoups]

౨ৎ this is home — csc

synopsis seeing a stupid father-daughter scene, you didn't think it would affect you this much. but, you come to a realisation that you don't need that because seungcheol is your home. pairing seungcheol x reader genre comfort word count 0.7k warnings implied daddy issues (bruv idek), lmk if i missed anything. hani's note this kinda happened to me minus cheol LMAO also wrote this while listening to yellow and sparks by coldplay, i'm in tears.

there's a father-daughter scene playing out on the screen in front of you. you don't feel any particular way when the father is looking at his daughter with love and adoration in his eyes as she rambles on about something that you've long forgotten about. but what seems to get you is how he holds her in a hug, a hand stroking her hair and him pressing a loving kiss to the crown of her head.

he never held me like that. why? i wish he did.

you don't notice your exhales becoming heavier and just a little louder as you try to control what's happening inside yourself. you don't even know why you feel this way, why the room suddenly feels warmer or why your nose starts to sting, why tears well up in your eyes and roll down your cheeks as you continue to watch. you don't know why your chest tightens. why is it suddenly so hard to breathe or swallow?

and you don't notice as seungcheol turns his head to figure out why you're crying at the movie. just as he catches another tear make its way down your cheek, his own chest tights, even more so when you inhale a half choked breath.

seungcheol knows.

he's immediately pulling you onto his lap, having you face away from the tv so you don't have to see that stupid scene anymore. feeling his warm arms envelope you makes you cry harder. it's as if a river had broken through a dam, not stopping anytime soon as it rushes and rushes hurriedly towards an open body of water. except that it can't.

seungcheol hushes you, rubbing your back with a large hand. up and down, up and down. running a hand over your hair and wiping your tears carefully with a thumb.

as he speaks, his chest vibrates against yours, "i'm here. i've got you, hm? safe with me, doll."

oh, his sweet words and the things they do to you.

you've calmed down and stopped crying but you feel out of breathe. every time you heave a breathe in, seungcheol presses you against him and you can't see it but he squeezes his eyes shut at the same time, heart breaking at the sounds.

"sorry," you whisper out finally, "didn't mean to—"

"sorry for what?" he stops you from answering that, "no need to be, okay?"

that look in his eyes. he means it and so much more. you can cry in my arms all you want. don't be sorry about it. i love you. i'm sorry there were people in your life who didn't love you like you were supposed to be loved but i'm here now. i'll love you the way you deserve and more.

you so badly want to break down in his arms again and it doesn't go unnoticed by seungcheol's observant eyes because he's holding you in his arms again. one arm going up to rest against the back of your head to smooth over your hair again and the other at your waist, squeezing gently.

"cheollie," he hums in response as he moves back to take a look at your tear stained face and glossy eyes. seungcheol's eyes tell you what he's feeling, he's hurting for you but he's also loving and caring for you silently as he watches you find the words, "what is it, doll? you can tell me anything."

"nothing...just," you suck in a breathe, "i love you."

there they go again, the tears in your eyes barge back in, uninvited.

seungcheol smiles ever so softly and kindly, you might disintergrate at the way he looks at you.

"oh, my baby," he places both of his calloused palms gently on your cheeks, "i love you, too. i'll always look out for you, remember that."

as you smile back at him, your eyes crinkle and the tears that had been staying in your eyes unwelcomed, finally fell. taking the moment in, you move closer to kiss seungcheol's lips and reciprocates with a chaste kiss. he whispers sweet words to you and it makes you shrink in his lap, hiding your face in his neck.

taking in his woody but fruity cologne, you know one thing for sure. this is home. seungcheol is your forever home and there's nowhere else that you would rather be.

[verysmolnerd]

Being the spouse of a Supervillain

You're the only person who he won't hurt. Why would he? You've been at his beck and call since he couldn't remember when.

However, you feel that you're walking on eggshells at times when the actuators have control of his psyche.

He keeps urging you to move on, that there was no place for you here; in the rickety old building you've shared since he bought the place. He honestly doesn't want to see you have a close encounter with the reaper again.

That being, you stay put, that the man you married is still in there. The shadows of his smile is hidden behind that snarky smirk. Some of the -rarest- most quiet nights, are spent on the torn up couch. It's almost like nothing changed at all.

You put your life on pause for a moment, you didn't go into work at all for weeks. You knew there would be questions, there always would be.

When you do come into work, you were given reduced hours because your boss wanted you to mourn the man you once knew, you refrained from answering any of those prying your personal life for issues. You normally report them within a few days, and then they're working in a whole different complex.

Even if the actuators are permanently a part of him, it's still Otto. His habits are still there, no matter what he tries to tell you.

You've also noticed that the arms still respect their creator to some extent, they never lay a finger on you. If they grab you, they are slow and patient never brutal.

One time you had gotten bruised from the pressure that the arms gave when they placed you away from the project. They soon fell limp while Otto had the nastiest look on his face. He never looked at you when he was like this.

He is always a gentleman to you, through layers of frowning.

The actuators only want his project done, therefore your Otto is just their puppet. However, they see you as a distraction until the beings of machine realize that Otto is human.

So, there isn't long lunch breaks together as you're used to before this mess. However, he eats in silence; in fear of the actuators lashing out on you for just seemingly wanting shreds of your life with him before.

You don't comment on his encounters with Spider-Man, you know all too well that the superhero gets bad press on the regular. Not to mention, Otto- sorry, you end up correcting yourself when the actuators are in control- Ock isn't entirely fond of him.

You knew exactly when Otto was too tired to fight the AI influence, because there have been consecutive all nighters the closer the reactor gets to being completed.

The times when the actuators keep him glued to the desk are when you try to get him clothing and alter them to accommodate the four tentacles protruding from his lower back.

There was one night that you consider was very special within the past few months that his magnum opus welded themselves to his back.

He had found some of his old outfits that weren't destroyed, and pressed down any urges from the arms.

"May this broken man take you out on a date?" You were near tears as you accepted.

He brought you to the top of a building with a makeshift table. It reminded you of your first dinner with him back in college.

He tells you that he's going to find a way to remove the arms and start anew. He wanted you to buy an apartment and to bring him to it on a specific day.

Considering that he's fighting for his life to look like the man you knew and loved -although you've reassured him multiple times that you still love him- you agree in a heartbeat. Happy that you'll both have a semblance of what life was before this.

The day to pick him up from the docks comes and you find no sight of him or the shambles of your house. It's all deep in the river below.

You can't recall how long you stayed there, but you had to live on. Live, that's what he always wanted you to do.

It's very hard at first, but life goes on.

One night -you can't quite remember what day it was specifically- you got a knock on the door.

You open it a little and it's Otto, with a small smile, holding a bunch of flowers.

Tears are brought to your eyes as he walks in, "I had a feeling that you'd buy the one we got back then." Any snakiness left him when he realized that you thought he was dead.

He promises to explain everything, but tonight he holds you as long as you needed it.... you ended up holding him hostage in your bedroom until the next morning. Even then, you don't let him out of your sight for a while.

He then explains in terms that you both can understand -because he finds himself not believing anything of it even after he's here. He was brought to another world just like this one where he was given a new component that prevented the arms from taking him over.

So, he starts the rejuvenation process, and does the community work to get back into society. He's stayed off nuclear fusion snd stuck strictly to advanced robotics.

However, you both still stayed at that apartment you first owned with him years ago. Never wanting to live on the water again.

There was one day where he brought you all over town, he brought you to so many places you visited together in your past. He had to be careful of the press patrolling for him since he returned. A former supervillain and a scientific powerhouse? That get's the press moving all over the place.

He then brought you where it all started, and proposed to you again. "I stand before you as a changed man, I love you so much. Will you marry me one more time?"

How could you say no?

It seems that you still have to alter his new clothes, but you don't mind considering how much more appreciative since he doesn't go around shirtless anymore.

He's cautious when using the actuators, only having them clean up and not touch you. Until you reassure him multiple times that you are fine with it... a few months later he's using them to trap you in his embrace.

You have him back, a second chance, and neither of you are going to screw it up.

[mrsnancywheeler]

the river (3) // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: the Capitol has taken you away from Finnick, the life you've been trying to build together and now he has to fight to get every part of you back

previous chapter / next chapter

masterlist

4.6k words

warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, mental illness, self-hate, suicid/l ideation, brainwashing, paranoia, mentions of trafficking, s/h in the form of scratching, breakups, no use of y/n, unedited, President Snow, threats, slightly mean!finnick towards conway

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Finnick wanted to beg the doctors to see you, but he also was terrified of pushing you into another breakdown. So he'd settled for sitting outside the hospital room’s two-way glass at all times. He didn't sleep, he couldn't, nor eat so he just watched. At first you'd been sedated, but you were relatively calm if untrusting. Which was nothing, especially compared to Peeta who'd tried to kill Katniss. You were quiet, voice small and shaky except when your distrust took over.

A doctor had been trying to get you to swallow some pills with your water which you'd been adamantly refusing, “I don't know what it is."

“It's just a medicine to help fight off any infections you might have." The doctor explained and Finnick was grateful that she was more patient than the others. Yet you still looked uneasy, “We can go over what's in it and what it'll do if you want." The doctor suggested and you slowly, unsurely nodded. They'd showed you the bottle, read to you, and let you read the bottle information before you'd finally agreed to take it.

After hours of this Finnick couldn't help himself anymore, "I want to talk to her.” He abruptly stood from his chair and stared at the medical staff.

"She's calm right now, it might not be wise to do something that could disturb her.”

“Can't you just explain it to her somehow, I'll stay in a chair in the corner, won't move a muscle, you can handcuff me. I need to talk to her." There were sighs, hushed arguments before an agreement was eventually made. So, he stood outside waiting as the doctors tried to convince you to see him.

“Someone wants to see you now, if that's okay. He'll stay right in that chair, won't move at all, if you feel uncomfortable and you call out for us, okay?”

You looked at her, untrusting, "Who?”

She sighed and sat down on the hospital bed with you, she must have decided you were less of a threat and more someone who had to be communicated with. It hurt Finnick to know you'd let a doctor you'd never met so close, but were terrified of him. “You remember that you're married, right?"

“He wants me dead." It was like you couldn't get it off your tongue fast enough.

“No he doesn't." The doctor says, very decidedly and before you can get your next words out she insisted, “We'll all be right outside, so if he did want to kill you we wouldn't let him.”

You shook your head, “No, you wouldn't."

“Why do you think that?"

You laughed a little, “Because I'm a threat, you don't know what I did or didn't reveal, and everyone knows that I…” You trailed off. He couldn't grasp his head around the idea that you were still so attached to that perception of yourself, you did what you had to do, to stay alive.

"Coin granted all the victors rescued immunity. We've got no reason to want you dead.” Silence. You stared at her, she stared back at you. The words must have registered, but you seemed to be too deeply steeped in denial.

“I want to talk to Peeta.” The universe despised Finnick, he was sure of it.

"We can't let you do that.” She said softly.

"Why not?"

"He tried to kill Katniss Everdeen.”

You shook your head, "No, he wouldn't do that. They're just in his head, he'll remember.” The irony of it all, Peeta wanted Katniss dead, and you thought Finnick wanted you gone as well.

“Did they get in your head too?"

You laughed again, “No, no, they didn't."

“Then why do you think Finnick wants you dead?"

You take a deep breath in and sound frustrated, hands bunching up the thin hospital blanket, “They're not in my head! They just showed me what I wasn't paying attention to, I know what happened, and the things I've done. I'm not crazy.” Your voice shook like you were going to cry.

"No one here thinks you're crazy.” Finnick could tell there was more the doctor wanted to say, but was holding out in fear of you devolving. "He will sit in a chair the entire time and no one will let him any closer, I promise you."

Finnick prayed to whatever might have been that they'd let him have a moment, that he'd be able to help you. Your head was buried in your hands, “Okay." You finally muttered and he breathed a sigh of relief.

The doctor smiled, giving an encouraging squeeze to your shoulder as she stood up. Pushing the only chair in the room up against the far wall before exiting. Finnick was anxiously messing with his piece of rope when the doctor finally approached him. “You've got the go ahead, but stay in the chair, no sudden movements, it might startle her enough to make her panic."

“I understand." Finnick nodded and the doctor waited a moment before she opened the door, letting him slowly walk into the bright, white room. And there you were, legs pulled up against your chest like it would give you some extra barrier. He wanted to hold you, to tell you it was all going to be okay, but Snow had even taken that away from him so he sat in the chair. “Hi, sweet girl." He gave a soft smile while you wearily observed him. You were silent though, "Do you know who I am, angel?” He knew you did, but just needed to hear you say something, anything to him.

Every so slowly you nodded, hands rubbing at your neck, "Finnick Odair.”

He hummed a yes,"Mhm, good job. Do you know what we are?” Finnick tilted his head slightly.

You nodded, but it was like the words were stuck in your throat. Squeezing your eyes shut for a second, “I care about you."

He nodded, “We care about each other. We got married, do you remember that?"

“People keep saying it." Stinging pain covered his chest, Snow had taken what was left of your trust, your happiest moments, and left you with the husk of anxiety. “I'm sorry, I can't, I don't know." You hit your head with the bottom of your and started crying.

“Hey, hey, it's okay, don't do that, it's alright!" He wanted to leap up, move your hands away, and have you in his arms. “You don't need to feel bad, angel, can you just tell me what you do know."

Your face became sober almost immediately, “You want to kill me."

“No." He said just as fast, “I'd never want that-"

“You don't have to lie to me, I understand. I can't be trusted, it's a smart move." Hands were back to rubbing your neck.

"What you did to survive all those years ago, when we were teenagers, doesn't mean you're not trustworthy. I trust you." He felt like he was going to cry, he was back at square one, when you'd returned from your games, but now you didn't even trust him.

You shook your head rapidly, “You're trying to get in my head!" There the tears were and his elbows landed on his knees so he could hide the fact his hands served to hide his cries. The world would've been a much kinder place if he was dead, if you were dead, if everyone could just die and stop this endless circle of torture. This was his inescapable boulder he kept pushing up the hill only to see it roll down over and over again, maybe if he'd died the first time around or even in the quarter quell the finality of death would bring peace. His eyes must have been bloodshot when he lifted them from his hands, only to grab the rope again. He needed more rationality to talk to you, this could help him ground himself because if had to live, it had to be with you.

“You used to teach me to tie ropes." You eventually muttered out, curse you and the way you were trying to say something to help him when he was at his weakest, even though you were convinced he wanted you dead.

He looked up from the knot and tried to smile appreciatively even if his eyes were still watery, “Yeah, I did.” He swallowed even though his mouth was completely dry, "I am. I am teaching you to tie ropes.”

You maintained eye contact with him for a while, like you were trying to read into the depths of his soul and he hoped you would find how genuine he was being. You leaned your head back onto the wall, “I could always do most of the knots after the first few times, but I liked it when you would keep helping me.”

"I know.” He missed it, all the times you'd grumble about the activity until he was right behind you, hands on yours where you'd suddenly seem a lot less aggravated. Then you were sobbing and he dug his hands into the chairs arms rests to force himself to stay seated. Not being able to touch you, help you on top of trying to convince you that he loved you was like his own personal hell, so perfectly built.

“See I couldn't even stop myself from lying about that." You choked out through the tears, the rubbing of your neck was turning into scratching.

“That was endearing, I could never hate you for something like that, I could never hate you." You didn't respond to that, the scratching was getting worse, “Sweet girl, you're gonna hurt yourself, you gotta stop." He pleaded, but you were too far gone, muttering things too low to hear under your breath. “God, I can't even help you." Finnick could feel another tear falling down his face, he couldn't grab your hands, breathe with you, keep you comforted, it was eating him up inside and out. So he did the only thing he could, call out for the doctors who quickly marched in to stop you. That's when the yelling that could print his ears with the cacophony of your agony for all of eternity, began. It was remarkable how many people it took to hold you down and get you sedated,

Finnick wished he'd savored every moment he could've had with you. There'd never been a point in leaving you the first time, you were bound to be dragged into the Games, he wasn't the fire that burned you. He could've stayed with you, had so many more moments to think about. Time with you was precious, delicate and he would do whatever it took to have you back

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

You were like heaven and he should have known that was something he wasn't worthy of. It was easy to forget that though when with each month he became more and more infatuated, it felt impossible to be as in love with someone as he was with you and so quickly. It just seemed like you understood each other, were so similar, but also filled the gaps for whatever the other lacked. He wanted to take you out every day and when he was feeling more impatient for your company he'd buy out the whole stock of crabs just so you could be off earlier. By the first month of going out he has noticed an interesting development in who Finnick considered to be the worst thorn in his side, Conway.

“Who's that?" Finnick had asked one day, tilting his head in the direction of Conway and a girl who he was with.

You smiled so brightly it made him want to live in a world where it was his sunshine, “Oh, that's Meena! They're going out now." Maybe that thorn was finally being removed.

"She looks just like you.” Finnick whispered slyly.

“She does not!" You rolled your eyes and glanced over at her, "I mean we have the same hair color. So maybe a little."

"And you're both similar heights, same face shape, I wonder if you both have the same eye color too.” You playfully hit his arm as a warning.

"It's better than him being single and moping around, it was kind of driving me insane how melancholy he was being.”

“Because he's madly in love with you." Finnick teased, hands on your waist.

“No, he's just got a crush because he won't talk to other girls. And now he's out of his shell.”

"Because he's madly in love with you and you picked me.” He smiled, leaning his face in closer.

"You're such a dick!” Yet you were smiling and your face was so close to his.

"No, I'm just saying how lucky I am.” You rolled your eyes again and Finnick used it as the perfect opportunity to kiss you which you instantly reciprocated. He was right about Conway and Meena of course, right after Finnick had broken your heart, he'd heard through the grapevine that they'd broken up. Conway was able to take his place back as having some sort of chance with you.

He'd miss the way you'd lay with your head on top of his chest at the beach, didn't stray away from being seen with him in any sense, if the Capitol cameras followed him around you would easily fall into keeping up his appearances for them, he should've been more cautious. When he was upset and couldn't tell you why, you'd hold him, rub his back, do anything to try and help. Which is why when Snow showed up at his house in Victor's Village he felt like any semblance of happiness was being torn away from his grasp.

“President Snow." He greeted, slowly walking inside of the room.

“Mr. Odair, the Capitol has missed you, so much in fact that I had to make this very disappointing visit.”

"I wasn't aware I was needed back so urgently, or else I would have come.” Usually he was notified of the visits, who wanted him now, and when.

"Of course you would've, but would you have been fully there?”

"I don't understand what you're talking about.”

"Your performance, to be enjoying their company, has been lackluster. People aren't convinced that you're, how shall we say it, emotionally present on top of everything else.” He wasn't, it was so much easier to check out of everything.

"I'm sorry.”

Snow hummed, "If people aren't convinced, they're dissatisfied, if they aren't satisfied then I'm dissatisfied, and we both know the outcomes of that.” Everyone he cared about dead, him lonely.

“Yes, I'll do better."

Snow's smile was so menacing, snake-like it sent shivers down Finnick's spike. “Good, we wouldn't want any complaints trickling down, would we?” He turned on a projection of something Finnick couldn't quite decipher. "She's very pretty, I'm sure no one would be pleased if the dissatisfaction continued.” Finnick felt numb all the way through, it was you, arms around him. How could he have been so stupid as to not think about you?

"It won't.” Finnick said quickly, voice choking involuntary.

"Oh good, I wouldn't want to have to get creative with it.” Snow rose from the chair, “The train will be here to pick you up in two days, Mr. Odair." Then the man who smelled of blood and roses was gone, abandoning Finnick with the feeling of lead in his stomach. He had to put as much distance between the two of you as possible, make you less of a target, shrink the one already on your back. He sunk into the chair he was closest to. Trying to remind himself to breathe as he tried to figure out how he was going to break your heart. How do you spend almost a year with someone, praising the ground they walk on and then suddenly leave them in the dust. He couldn't be cruel to you, not when you were so kind. The idea that you would put your walls up again and completely shut him out made his chest ache, a pain that threatened to tear him apart.

He'd have to give you up, condemn you to the life you didn't want to live. Watch as you lose the hope of something newer, something that wasn't expected and settled for the life everyone saw for you. Maybe that's why Conway made him want to be meaner, his blood boil, because deep down Finnick knew that if he didn't have you, Conway's persistence to love you would pay off. You'd stop being the girl who would barter for things she enjoyed if only for a moment, there would be no more fantasies of your soul finally feeling complete, the way you'd both felt together. To protect you, he'd have to put a damper on the dreams.

Finnick hated thinking about how he was supposed to see you that night, how he'd promised to meet you at the beach since you'd insisted you didn't care about the weather as long as you could see him. He'd have only as long as it took to shatter the hopes of being with each other to memorize you. Your smile, your laughter, your playful banter, the way your eyes twinkled, the smell of peaches and the sea, and tasted like peaches and vanilla. For the rest of time you'd only exist as moments he cherished in his brain, distance would be pivotal. No more escapes from your life to his lavish parties, that association would still be close enough to get you hurt, you'd have to be cut off from any droplets of the Fountain of Love he was to you.

He'd steadied himself when the clock had finally ticked to the time that told him to go to the beach, to his ending with you. Time to subject himself to a lifetime of acting for Panem and you to submit to fate. The fates that had decided you'd both had your run and needed to get back on the roads planned out for you. It was windy and cloudy over the ocean, like he was being mocked. He stood there, staring at the stormy horizon that lay ahead of him until you appeared.

“Hi!" The way you smiled like the sun made him think he couldn't do this to you, to himself. He solemnly nodded in response and your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, you were so beautiful. “What's wrong? Are you not feeling good, we can just go inside, I'll make soup." This was a torture method, how was he supposed to hurt someone who wanted to take care of him at the slightest sensing of upset.

"No, I feel fine.” He said it too sharply and it visibly took you aback. You'd both bickered before, only when someone directly caused it, and then you'd both get over it. Usually someone would do something to get you both to laugh it off, but he'd never been harsh with you.

You crossed your arms like they would provide some sort of defense, the walls were already being put up as far as Finnick was concerned. “Sorry." You stopped looking directly at him, eyes focused on the sand, he wanted to say ‘No, I'm sorry. You're so sweet and you look so pretty.’ To kiss you, your cheeks, your forehead, for his lips to memorize you. The silence was brisk and awkward until you'd felt forced to break it, “So, are we swimming?" He shook his head and it was hard to miss the way you scoffed, “Okay, um, do you just wanna sit and talk? We can do that." How were you still so considerate and sounded so soft, when you were so annoyed? Maybe the barrier wasn't around you, but him because you made no move to give a comforting touch like you usually would, like you weren't sure it would be received well. “Finnick, if you're gonna be in one of your moods and not let me help, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go home."

“I'm breaking up with you." It spilled off of his lips in a way that made him want to burn them off. He watched the look in your eyes go from concerned annoyance to sad shock.

“What?" The way your voice became shakier made him want to give up on the whole endeavor, say it was some fucked up joke he was dared to do. “What do you mean?" A small nervous laugh forced itself from your throat.

Finnick took a deep breath in, “I can’t be with you anymore.”

"Can't? What does that mean?” It would've been easier if you just cried and ran off.

"It's just not working out.” He didn't want to lie, say it's how he felt or what he wanted, but he had to get you away from the ticking time bomb.

"For who?” You sounded exasperated.

"I can't explain it, I just have to do this, it's better for you, for both of us.” He pushed down the part of him that wanted to start bawling, begging you to refuse to let him go. "I have to protect you.”

To his surprise you didn't pester on that question more and he watched a tear escape from your glossy eyes, "Don't say that.” You shook your head, bringing your hands up to your face to catch the tears. “You can't break up with me and say stuff like that, it's mean." He was confused and it was evident, "It makes me love you so much more.” No, no, no, no you couldn't say stuff like that when he was supposed to rid himself of you. It wasn't fair.

His fingers ran through his tangled hair, "I'm sorry. I really am, but it means you can't be around at all anymore, anywhere. You need to be as far from me as you can be." You tilted your head upwards, towards the sky, closing your eyes as you exhaled. "Say you hate me."

“What?" You looked at him.

“Say you hate me, hit me, tell me to go fuck myself, something. Be angry with me." He could feel the tears escaping, they were supposed to do that.

“Finnick, I'm not going to do that." Then you were unclasping the necklace, the one that you'd work every day since he'd given it to, and it was in your hands instead of around your neck.

“What're you doing?"

“Letting myself know it's over." Then the necklace was in the ocean, floating away, like any hopes and dreams of being with you. The way you'd built your walls back up, stopped crying, blocked him out from your feelings, astonished him. You trusted him enough to take him at his word, that he needed to protect you, and listened. Distance in the mind as well as in person. “Finnick, take care of yourself." You sent him a small, sad smile and then it was like the wind had blown you away. Out of his grasp forever.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“She agreed to see you again." Finnick's head shot up, the doctors wouldn't let him stay in your room so he initially had planted himself in a chair outside. Eventually they'd just rolled in a hospital bed when they realized he wasn't going to be leaving. He'd spent every second diligently watching over you, making sure you were alright from afar. You'd been sedated most of the time since your breakdown before except when you ate and sat solemnly with your thoughts. “Same rules apply, don't get closer unless she asks, keep a calm, steady tone." Finnick nodded with the doctor's words waiting to be let in.

“I understand." The door clicked open and he was back in that chair across the room. “Hey, angel. Are you feeling better?" Your blanket was pulled up as far as you get it over your knee that was pulled up, holding your face up.

You slowly shook your head, “It's cold." And he couldn't be the heat to contrast that, he couldn't even rise to get you a blanket.

“I can ask them if they can make it warmer or at least get more blankets."

You nodded into your leg,"I'm so lonely, I know you want me dead, but I miss you so much and I'm not even sure why.”

Because you had to know deep down that he would move mountains to keep you safe, that all that had really come forward was from your own self hate. "Why don't we play a game.” You looked at him confused, "You ask me if something is real or not real when you're struggling to tell. Just those words and I'll help you figure it out, angel.”

"How am I supposed to know you'll tell me the truth?”

"You just have to trust me.” You observed him like you were waiting to see a crack in the facade, for a muscle to indicate his deceit. You leaned back in the bed, letting your leg rest.

"You hate me, real or not real.”

"Not real.” You stared at the white ceiling.

"Why not?” There was a beat of silence, "I'm perfectly deserving of it, so why not?”

"Anything you think you did that's worth hating yourself over was something that couldn't be helped, you're so sweet, I could never hate you just because your hand was forced when you were a teenager.” Your eyes shifted back down to look at him, “You don't have to believe me yet, there's a lot going on, but it's true. I love you more than the ocean loves the moon.”

"There's just so much going on in my head. I want to believe you so badly, but something in my head says I can't.” You covered your face to try and hide the fact you'd begun to cry. The things he would've given to kiss away your tears.

“That's okay, sweet girl, I have all the time in the world to prove to that voice otherwise." It was painful to stay seated, to know he had to regain all the privileges he'd once had.

You rubbed at your neck again which worried him to no end, “Can you come closer?”

Finnick wanted to jump up, but he couldn't. "Are you sure?” You nodded and he ever so slowly stood up. "How close?” He asked.

You took some deep breaths to calm yourself before you answered, "Over here."

“You're sure?"

Your breathing was shaky, “Yeah." He was terrified of scaring you away. So he approached cautiously to see if you'd eventually startle, but you didn't. Then he was standing right beside you and it was even harder now not to reach out. Ever so slowly you grabbed his hands, fingers tracing around his palms, each callous, and then you were trailing up to his face. He was confused, but didn't make a mention of it. Your fingers lead themselves around his face, rose with his nose, like they were memorizing each crevice of his face. He shuddered when he felt your touch, it had been so long and your cold hands soothed his hot skin. Then your touch was gone and he instantly missed it, longed for it back. “Thank you. I'm sorry."

“It's okay, sweet girl." You moved away from him and settled yourself laying down.

"Can you lay with me?” You whispered out.

"Of course, angel.” Underneath his facade he was ecstatic as he slid into the spot you'd left for him.

"Can you just keep your hands on top of you, so I can see them?” Your voice was so nervous.

"Absolutely.” His hands landed firmly on his stomach as he lay there with you.

Maybe now the long rope didn't seem as appealing.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

thank you so much for reading and all the support! comments, feedback, reblogs, and likes are all super appreciated. my ask box and requests are open, I've got some I'm working on right now, love you all so much 💋

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[shadowcitrine]

Sunbathing

Before the outbreak there's a girl who keeps teasing Daryl.

Daryl's pov. Angry Daryl. Daryl and named OC. Kind of dirty.

18+ You're responsible for the content you consume.

First post nerves.

Of course she was here! She was everywhere he fuckin’ went. It was like she knew when he needed space and had some sick twisted need to devour what little time he carved out for himself. That stupid fuckin’ Mather's girly is just laying out by the river bank, arms beneath her head like she owns the whole god damned river and the sun is shining down on her over the tree tops like it agrees with her.

Picking up the fishing pole, Daryl's fist tightened around it, his face screwing up in anger makin’ his whole head hurt twice as much. He lets everyone walk all over him, but not anymore, not today. Especially not stupid Mercy who parades around in her dumb tiny shorts and ugly cut off shirts.

Taking the pole over to a shady spot he throws himself down, landing with a grunt. Digging through the little box of feathers he keeps in a tin till he finds a few small ones to tie on. If Mercy is watching him behind those dark glasses of hers he can't tell, not that he was lookin’ anyway. Not that he cares.

He cast the line, sticking the pole in the ground to light a cigarette and wait. She hasn't said a word and it's so unlike her that he thinks she has to be asleep. It's the only time she ain't asking him a million questions or trying to order him around. He stamps out the first butt and lights another. Takes him nearly all of the second one before he can hear the water trickling by beyond the anger pounding around in his head. Takes him even longer to realize his line has too much slack. The reel clicks quietly, a familiar lullaby that usually helps empty his head but not this time, not today.

Mercy still ain't talking. It's the longest they've ever been around each other without her at least sayin’ hi and now it's bothering him. He came out here for peace and now her silence is eating him alive. Not like bein’ around her does him any good. Never has, not even when they were kids. Just to try and take his mind off of her he starts reeling in the line, puffing on the smoke between his teeth but the harder he tries not to think about her the more he does.

That girl sighs and it draws his attention away from his half hearted attempt at fishing. She's still just layin’ there, knees now bent. Her shorts are digging into the upper parts of her thighs making little dips there that make his fingers itch to touch. She's just some annoying girl that he doesn't even like.

Then she moves again, rolling to her knees in the dirt, dead grass clinging to her back she's digging in a small cooler. Picking out some red white and blue ice pop she stuffs the wrapper inside before flopping back down on the ground. Still, not a single word out of her. She sick? High?

The more he looks at her painting her lips with the cherry end of the ice cream the more he's bothered by her silence because he can't help but see something else in his head. The way her tongue swipes across her bottom lip collecting the sticky sweetness there makes him tense in a way he shouldn't be around her but can't seem to help.

“Why ain't you sayin’ nothin’?” He asks. It just sort of bubbled up.

She takes her time answering sucking on the end of it making a soft lewd noise that makes his dick twitch. “Thought I talked too much Dixon?” there isn't even any anger in it. She's acting like she isn't even bothered by him being there watching her suck half the ice cream in to her mouth like she suckin’ cock.

“You do.” He drops the spent butt on the ground, his fishing pole forgotten.

She hums again around her snack, lips making a slurping noise around it like they do on titty channels that come on late at night. “Want me to ask you how you got that shiner?” She turns her head to look at him and if she notices him move his leg to hide his half chub she doesn't say.

Mercy runs a tongue along the underside of it catching drops of it before it can land on her tits and he's silently hoping she misses just one. Then his dick is coming alive thinking of her swearing the melted sugar water across them, swirling the red end over a nipple until it's rock hard. He don't need to be thinking about her like that but he can't look away.

She sits up holding in her mouth, cheeks hollowing around it and he swears she's doing it on purpose. No, she knows what she's doing and this–this tease is secretly eating up the attention. Mercy grabs the bottom of her shirt, pulling it over her head. She isn't wearing a bra or even one of her bright colored biking tops, no, she isn't wearing anything at all now ‘cept them frayed shorts of hers.

“Put your shirt back on Mercy!”

She lickin on the end for a moment, watching him watch her. He can't not think about how her ice cream is smaller than his dick. “Stop actin’ all mad.” She drops her head back.

Stop actin’ mad? Stop actin’ mad! She's doing this to fuck with him cause he doesn't wanna talk to her. He can see it in the way she smiles at him before biting off the last of the cherry flavor. Knows it when she leans back on her elbows to push her tits out on full display. She does all this shit just to fuck with him and he can't even figure out why! She treats him like he's nothin’! Tryin’ to push all his god damned buttons! Fuck her and fuck this!

He has to readjust himself as subtly as he can just to stand up. Even being mad at her doesn't stop his cock from throbbing, doesn't stop the ache. Then he's mad all over again because this is Mercy he's thinking about. Bitchy, awful, needy Mercy who comes over and smokes pot with Merle. The same girl who laughs whenever his brother calls him some stupid girl's name. This same girl who tries to lay against him on the couch when Merle leaves to go get more beer because she's lonely.

He's shaking his head. “I ain't in the mood for your shit. ‘M goin’ home.” He hates her. Hates the pink strip of colored hair that falls over her shoulder. Hates the way his brain has already memorized the trail of blue melt that's dripping on the swell of her breast and racing for her dusky nipple.

“If you stay–” she shouts loud enough for him to hear. “I'll let you touch em'.”

He even hates himself at this moment because now his feet are planted in the ground. Needing a distraction he lights a cigarette he doesn't even smoke. “The fuck you think I wanna touch your tits for?”

Mercy shrugs. “You keep staring.”

He snorts a breath of air through his nose. None of it even means anything to her, she's just messing with him. Always messing with him and he was tired of being nice. “You're the one who whipped em’ out to get me to look. What did you expect?”

Her face twists up. “I'm sun bathing asshole! I was the one who was here first!”

“And you ain't pretending to give the world's shittiest blow job with that thing?” He takes a hit off his cigarette nodding to the sweet melting in her hand. Her face is turning red, the tips of her ears are burning in embarrassment. He's turned the tables on her, called her out on her little game and she can't take it. Some distant part of him feels an inkling of pride at that. Her lip curls and he's moving towards her one slow step at a time.

“I changed my mind. Get fucked!” She throws down her ice cream in the grass.

Letting out a soundless laugh he's next to her now. Daryl's looking down his nose at her, the blue melt finally falling off the tip of her breast. “You wanna suck cock? Here it is.” Then he's grabbing himself through his jeans.

He blames the fact that there's no blood left in his head for why he's acting like this. That he needs her good and pissed off and disgusted all so she'd quit trying to get on his nerves all the damn time. He wants her to hate him as much as he hates her. Only, she ain't pushing him away. No, she's licking her sticky lips as she looks up at him behind those big ugly glasses.

“What? Can't figure out how a belt works?” He asks her. He's goading her to yell at him, but she hasn't yet. He sticks the smoke in his lips bending down to grab her hand. He pushes her fingers against the buckle when he stands back up. “C'mon! You want it so bad you're going to have to take it out yourself.”

Mercy bites her bottom lip as she twists to sit on her knees in front of him. His heart stutters in his chest when she begins to tug on the strap and he nearly laughs. She was so desperate she was actually going to suck him off. She's silent for probably the second time in her whole life as she undoes his belt.

[farmerstarter]

Could you possibly write some random hcs for my man Elliott? Hope all is well <3

ʚ📜ɞ ˚ · . random Elliott HCs:

tags: elliott x gn! reader

hi! thank you so much for requesting :) Elliott is my number 1 favorite bachelor in sdv, so writing this was a treat. I hope you enjoy them 💐🤍

🪶 You had to be the one to initiate your first conversation. The two of you exchanged smiles and gave each other waves when you crossed paths. But apart from that, you and Elliott never spent time together that lasted more than a minute. He was always so caught up in his own world, distracted and staring off into the distance. You later found out that he tended to zone out a lot, thinking about his drafts and meticulously judging his own writing prowess. "Being alone tends to do that to you," Elliot would muse. The two of you soon made an effort to spend Friday evenings in the Stardrop Saloon, hiding away in your little table in the corner. He would drone on about ideas for his book and you would complain about crows picking at your crops. It would usually end with Elliott drunkenly dancing on the table while you laugh at him. He's a happy drunk, no shame hiding under his lucious hair whatsoever.

🪶 He helps Willy tend to the shop sometimes when he doesn't have the energy to write. Or he would be with Leah in the saloon, both of them complaining about their art/writing block.

🪶 He's a master of calligraphy, I decided. His letters to you are always so well done. You end up keeping his letters instead of throwing them away because they were too pretty to be lost in your endless letter drawer. He writes poems to you, most of them about you. He always signs it at the end with "Yours, Elliott"

🪶 He collects sea shells. Makes them into bracelets after Leah taught him how to do it. It was no wonder why you couldn't find any shells when you would wander to the beach in the afternoon. Elliott already got to them first. You've noticed that both Leah and Willy have shell bracelets, wearing them wherever they went. When you and Elliott became friends, he sent you a bracelet and a letter accompanying it in your mailbox. Elliott bashfully told you that he got your wrist size correct because he would hold onto your wrist when crossing to the other side of the beach, across the wooden bridge you built for it. And here you thought he was holding onto you so neither of you would fall in the water. Turns out, that was only half the reason.

🪶 When he moved in to live with you, he spent his first few weeks reading about crops and farm animals so he can help you around the farm. He enjoys spending time in the coop with the ducks the most. He even bought a duck from Marnie to have as his own, much to your amusement. It's the only duck that lives inside the house. He gave you the honor of naming it.

🪶 He and Willy would have dinner together sometimes (Elliott and Willy friendship, my beloveds). Willy made him his famous crab cakes and Elliott has never known peace since. Willy had to give Elliott the recipe so he can make his own batch to eat anytime he wanted. Elliott cooks them for you too.

🪶 He keeps a notepad tucked in his pocket for when inspiration strikes. He told himself that he would write ideas for his book the moment he gets them. But he doesn't end up doing it. He tells himself that he'll remember them when he gets home. Most of the time, he doesn't.

🪶 I like to imagine that Elliott is a merman that Willy accidentally caught in a net one night. He got into writing after he realized he can hold paper without ruining it now. He rarely talks to anyone aside from Willy, who caught him in the first place, and Leah, who accidentally caught him swimming in the river as a merman. But honestly, this is a story for another time.

[iid-smile]

waterfall , tomioka giyuu

x gn!reader ! giyuu using his water breathing, he asks for permission to confess and impress you!

author's note: im having writers block with kny specifically (future sunny: thats a bad excuse btw... i just dont because idk what to write for majority of the characters) so literally everything these days is jjk. justice for kny!!!!

double author's note: hi... future sunny here. this message ^^ yeah, that was FOUR WEEKS AGO now its just laziness rather than writers block... thats why the dialogue has literally no description half the time and i really did not want to finish this

triple author's note: ahaha i bet you've never seen three in a row 😈 anyways i forgot to post this after i proofread it half asleep so here u go

"do you like rivers?"

"mhm."

"what about lakes?"

"i like anything to do with water, tomioka. you don't need to worry so much about what i like."

"i'm not worried." giyuu's gaze turns away from you, like it always does, and he looks straight ahead. "there's just something i want to try."

though slightly wary of his intentions, you know that giyuu isn't the type of guy to put you in situations where he doesn't have your consent first. and quite clearly, it's something to do with water, because he's been awfully chatty about different bodies of water, fishes, and just nature in general. it's difficult to make a guess of what he's planning, because sometimes he can just be so unintentionally unpredictable. and weird. he's a weirdo.

you walk behind him so he's able to lead the way. now that he's gone all quiet again, you can't help but furrow your eyebrows a bit. something he wanted to try? what could he possibly want to try in the middle of the night? let alone in a forest...

finally, he comes to a halt. obviously, you're a bit... confused, being stopped in front of a large, and deep body of water surrounded by rocks.

"hold my hand."

"why?"

as if he knew you were going to ask that, he turns to face you with not a single change in his expression, neatly holding out his hand to you. "i'm going to do something, and i don't want you to slip." something. there's that something again.

your eyes flicker from his hand to his face just a few times, then to the surroundings, looking out for anything odd. he wouldn't be the type to prank you, would he?

"do you not trust me?"

"i do. it's just this something that you mention..."

"don't worry. i won't do anything bad."

would it be bad to say that he immediately soothed your worries? he was already speaking more than he usually would, and you noticed his free hand was always on the handle of his sword, so he's vigilant. no worries at all. you take his hand. it's cold, and unexpectedly smooth. "what are you going to do?"

no answer. he takes a step closer to the edge, just one little tip toe away from the surface of the water. "by any chance.." giyuu remains quiet, head bowed to the water below before his eyes move back up to yours. "do you have a significant other?"

"no..."

"then," for a beat, he looks off to the side, and then turns his head back to you. "can i ask for your permission for me to... attempt to court you?"

"ah, is this why you brought me all the way out here? you have feelings for me?"

"...you found me out."

"you just told me that?"

"i didn't mean to."

the back of your hand comes up to your lips, poorly silencing your giggles. "you're a bit silly sometimes."

no response. "come."

giyuu takes a step down from the rocks, and into the body of water. from above, it was difficult to tell how far down the bottom of the lake was. "my clothes—"

he cuts you off. "don't worry. they won't get wet."

maybe he's telling the truth, since his aren't either. one last time, you look down at your covered feet, a nervous twitch running through them as the chill breeze suddenly became so apparent.

immediately, you're met with dreamlike arches of water and splashes surrounding the two of you, frozen in time and unmoving. for the first time, it feels like you're genuinely seeing his breathing technique visually, the sight similar to a vivid lucid dream. except this... this is way better. right in the climax, streams shoot up into the air, curving and twisting to form a heart in the center, then dispersing just as quick, the drops of rain disappearing into nothing as it touches skin.

it was beautiful, but beautiful wasn't even a word good enough to describe it.

"tomioka—?" but as you turn around, giyuu is nowhere to be seen. "huh? tomioka?"

you look left, and you look right. nobody's around: not a single life in sight. the trees are quiet, only the splashing of the waterfall fills in for the lack of noise around. and when you look down at your feet, you only see your legs submerged in water, all the way up to your knees. your haori steadily soaked up the liquid, the material darkening and growing heavier on your shoulders. "my socks!"

yes, you did have to walk home with wet tabi socks and zori with an uncomfortably damp surface. and yes, you did walk home with a constant flutter in your heart, not even knowing when the next time you'll catch a glimpse of him will be.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for getting a pet one of my parents is allergic to and/or planting plants that would attract them?

Pretty short one, honestly. I'm currently living with my parents and younger siblings. Ages aren't particularly important, just know that everyone involved is an adult except my youngest sibling, who just reached teenagerdom, and the rest of us "kids" are stuck living at home without any real way to get places of our own.

What some of my siblings know, to varying degrees, and that my parents either don't know or are willfully ignorant towards, is that I am so far removed from my parents' political views that it's like listening to an alien way of thinking whenever one of them brings politics up. I've gotten very good at shutting up and letting them think what they want to about me- with how hard they project, they probably think I'm exactly like them. In reality I just don't think minorities should be considered "hate crimes against God" and think they're insane for believing as much.

Sure doesn't help that I'm in multiple categories of minorities that they consider "hate crimes against God" lmao

One of them, in particular, has gone into detail multiple times about what he thinks should be done to people like me or those who support them. It's, uh…not pretty. Let's just say he thinks fascism is perfectly fine and leave it at that.

When I move out- because I refuse to be stuck here forever- I'm hoping to be financially stable enough to afford a pet. I'm considering a snake, or maybe a bird, or a cat. Not all at once, obviously. However, when we were growing up, we only ever had dogs. The fascist parent is allergic to cats, so I can count on one hand the number of cats I've ever actually interacted with, and I'd need more than two hands and two feet to count the number of "throw the kittens in a sack and toss them into the river" "jokes" I've had to suffer through over the years.

I'm pretty sure there's no saving this familial connection. I want to tell them both who I am, but I can't do that until I have my own place because I know they're gonna react really fucking badly. They've told me so themselves.

…which brings me to my question. I guess it's not so much "WIBTA for encouraging the presence of animals one of my parents is allergic to as a measure to keep them away" and more "WIBTA for getting a pet that my parents might dislike enough to try and get rid of" iykwim.

What are these acronyms?

[villainofmyownstory]

Blurry

Part 2

masterlist

part 1 | 1.2 | part 3

pairing: exhusband!Captain John Price x fem!Reader

summary: You visit your ex-husband, in your once shared home. The memories are painful. But only for you. Unfortunately, after that one bloody mission, John doesn't remember you. The memory of your life together, blurred in his mind.

tags: afab reader, hurt, ex lovers, ex-husband, recollection of death, loss of memory, ambiguous/open ending

2.5k words

author's note: @blackhawkfanatic @who-needs-to-sleep @rafaelacallinybbay because you asked about part 2 <3

If anyone wants to be added or removed from the taglist - let me know.

——————————————————————————————————

Something inside you has broken.

It seems that for a long time, you were pieces that were temporarily glued together.

In the end, pretending was a good thing.

After all, the one who laughs the loudest internally cries the hardest. 

Since those three days, weeks have passed. And somehow you couldn't move on. Maybe you should ask about that ring on his finger that unexpectedly appeared. Or maybe you should forget, finally move on, start living your life as before and never look back.

And of course, the phone rang every day. The boys, as usual, cared about you, not just him. After all, the captain's orders were to take care of you, too.

Even if he said those words so long ago. Before.

Do you think these waters will ever be shallower? That the current of the river, will carry you away and let you swim inertly to another shore? Or will you drown in the mud and your body sink inertly to the bottom. Forgotten. Left until your flesh rots, disintegrates eaten by river creatures.

His warm hands gently hold your waist. Keeping you from falling off the chair. Even though this is November outside it's already exceptionally cold. It even snowed lightly today. However, there was no longer any sign of it now.

You try to concentrate on decorating the tree, but the presence of a man in your flat is slightly overwhelming.

You let him. You accepted it all. Feeling inside, somewhere deep under your ribs, that this is madness. But despite everything, this discomfort, the smile doesn't leave your face.

You look down at him, his hands still holding your hips. Maybe you can stay like this for a while longer. You feel safe. Wanted. Needed. Belonged to someone.

”I'll turn on the lights”

he says finally helping you off the chair. You take a few steps away to get a better view.

Your first Christmas together. Never mind that it's just the two of you. And you don't mind that it's November.

What matters is that someone finally put your broken pieces together.

He was just yours.

In a few days he had to go on a mission. For unknown amount of time.

So this year Christmas came sooner. And you glance at him as he looks at the decorated Christmas tree with pride written on his face. To turn his gaze to you with the same delight.

”Somethin' wrong?”

You don't answer, blushing slightly. No one has ever looked at you like that.

”Nothing”

you mumble embarrassed

”You look nice in that Christmas sweater” you reply and reluctantly glance back at tree.

”Do you like snowmen, dove?”

The phone rings. It rings nonstop. A familiar picture appears on the screen.

That's right, today is Wednesday.

You allow yourself not to answer.

Several times.

Finally, you slide your finger across the screen.

"Everythin’ okay?"

Kyle, as usual without greeting, gets straight to the point

"I've been waiting for an hour and you're not here. Do you want me to come get you?"

Silence.

"Or maybe I should call Simon?"

That will do.

"I'll be there in half an hour."

You sigh, slowly letting the air out, as if you've been holding it in your lungs for the last few minutes. You quickly take the keys and leave the cold apartment.

You let him hold your hand. Maybe it's weakness. Maybe longing. Or maybe selfishness.

When the therapy is over and you're sitting in his car, you see a Tupperware container in the back seat. You know very well what it means.

"Jessica thought you'd be hungry. You know how she is.  She always cooks too much, and Captain won't eat it all himself” Kyle hands you a heavy container and a spoon

"How long?"

You don't dare raise your eyes, heavy eyelids close for a moment. The world starts spinning again. You don't want to hear that she is there again. Why is she there. After all, it was your home too. Never hers.

But of whom you want to make a fool, you know very well the reason.

"Two weeks." Kyle looks through the windshield, nervously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel

"Friday will be three years from-"

"Don't."

You speak quickly and dryly. You don't want to hear it. You know perfectly well that Friday is the anniversary of the accident.

You should be the one standing in the kitchen. It should be you. There.

"Should I drive you back to your apartment? One of the guys will drive the car back later."

You don't answer, your eyelids are heavy. It's as if they've stuck together and don't want to give you even a hint of light. Any comfort of a still bright day.

Drowning. To sink into the darkness. In an abyss of pain. Rot and suffer. This is your destiny. Forgotten.

"Hey, do you want to talk? Maybe someone should stay with you for the next few days?"

Kyle looks at you, sees your gray, tired face. The dark circles under your eyes. Hair that hasn't been cared for by a stylist in years. Fallen cheeks and chapped lips. Someone else is sitting in that car. It's not you anymore.

When you finally get back to your place, you toss the food container into the trash can and, still in your coat and shoes, lie down on the couch, in the living room. You stare dully at the blank wall, hoping that maybe sleep will come now.

It was better with you before, you were already walking on that straight path. Without stumbling, colors appeared on the sides. The sun was rising more and more for you. But again, a shadow that hid somewhere behind you covered your silhouette. Leaning heavily on your shoulders.

Late in the afternoon, when night slowly replaced day, and red and pink colours dance on the walls in the room, you finally fall asleep.

And again, a nightmare comes. You wish you could wake up and stay awake, stare at the ceiling and not have to relive it all over again. Maybe insomnia was some kind of cure for you. An escape.

And here you are in this place. Another broken promise. Once again you are doing something against yourself. You're sitting in the guest room on fresh evenly laid sheets.

In his home.

But when the phone rang in the middle of the night and on the other end you heard from, none other than Ghost (not to be confused with Simon, at that moment he is speaking to you as a soldier, the Captain). So it wasn't even a request. Just a command. Since John's memory had improved considerably since your last visit, along with the doctors, Ghost decided that you would stay with him this time for longer. Due to the fact that Johnny was injured and needed time to rest. Ghost and Gaz went on missions together. This time, to your misfortune, for a few weeks. And Jessica with kids couldn't stay for longer. Everyone had their own responsibilities. So you were chosen. The last option.

When you arrived, John wasn't there yet, he was going to rehab on Thursdays. So you got a few more hours of freedom before he returned. However, something paralyzed you to leave the room. The suitcase stood next to the bed, still unpacked.

The smell in the house, despite such a long time and so many different people who came in every now and then, remained the same. Cigars and burning wood from the fireplace.

Overwhelming. Now suffocating.

And those damn beige walls. Boring, nauseating. But eventually, it had to be repainted, three years ago these four walls witnessed your darkest moments in life.

Maybe it's better to sleep downstairs in the living room.

When John returns and enters the house, everything happens as if you were a different person - a spectator sitting in the front row, watching with bated breath the scene being played out. A scene from the movie called your life.

John puts his keys down on the dresser in the hallway, walks into the living room looks at the already made-up couch and turns in your direction with surprise. And you stand still with a wooden spoon in your hand, not even blinking.

"Oh there you are darling. Are we supposed to have guests tonight?"

You answer absolutely nothing, still standing motionless at the kitchen island, dismayed to see him slowly walk towards you.

And as if nothing ever happened, he grabs you lightly, squeezing your hip, and leans down to kiss your forehead. The kiss seems to last an eternity. It's almost like he's been kissed you for the first time.

He always did that when he came back to you.

But that was then. It was never - after.

"Somethin' wrong?"

He moves away from you and smiles gently, tilting his head, waiting for an answer.

You finally gain some strength in yourself and despite the unreality of the whole situation, which seems as if your brain is playing with you and replaying a scene from the past.

You finally nod slowly, in denial.

"I'll change and help you, I'm exhausted after today's new exercises. But I'm pretty flexible considering my age."

Saying this he smiles wider.

"And how was your day, at work?"

The wooden spoon fell to the countertop with a bang. Echoing in the room.

Mumbling apologetic words, you quickly evade him. You say something about a forgotten business, about making an urgent phone call.

You don't know who to call. Your hands are shaking and wet with sweat. ''It didn't happen.'' you mumble to yourself. Someone who was in charge of your life was a fucking prankster . Every time it seemed like nothing was going to happen, a new unknown and unannounced thing popped up from around the corner. A bloody joke.

Finally deciding to call Johnny, even though he was recently injured and supposed to be resting, you had to hear someone's familiar voice. Something that confirms that you have your feet on the ground. Something that makes you reassure yourself that you're not crazy.

After two signals he picks up and when he hears your frightened voice when you tell him about the situation from a moment ago.  Johnny will be here in two hours.

It's nothing that the wound on his thigh hasn't healed yet. Because if his Captain has finally regained his memory. He would, even if he had to walk 1,000 miles barefoot. He would do it without hesitation.

Just to have him back.

So you had to face John somehow, waiting for those two hours. And that seemed to be no easy thing to do. Because you no longer knew what awaited you on the other side of the beige bedroom. Who was the man who just a few weeks ago, every time he saw you, didn't recognize you and asked the same questions.

Was this the old, kindest John, the one you fell in love with many years ago.Was it even still possible, or was what you heard a few minutes ago some kind of error in his hollow, broken memory.

And again, the same scenery. How many times will it all be the same almost so familiar, and in truth so distant and foreign.

John's already dressed in more comfortable clothes, a plain plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and comfortable old, slightly rubbed jeans.

You stand in the threshold of the kitchen nervously clutching the phone, holding it as if it were some sort of lifeline, a connection to something that will save you. Well, from what, exactly? From a man who acts as if the last years, that tragedy never happened, and your marriage continued uninterrupted. Happily.

"Why don't we eat on the terrace? It's a really nice afternoon today."

John is standing at the countertop, his back turned to you cheerfully humming tunes known only to himself.

And you, you stand praying that by some miracle Johnny will get here sooner.

Despite your fatigue after a day's work, you cheerfully bustle around the kitchen, preparing a late supper. John was supposed to come back today, even though it had only been a week. The longing for him was great. Especially since just 3 weeks ago you had written in the documents, different name. Now, you proudly looked at your finger many times a day, seeing no longer an engagement ring. But something much more important.

A gold wedding ring.

Mrs. Price.

Not only was his return a cause for celebration, there was something else.

Once dinner is ready, the table is a bit over-decorated. The room, and practically the whole house, is illuminated only by the candles that have been set up. You stand nervously in the kitchen in your hands holding a small gift bag.

The dress is rather too elegant, as well. But you want this moment to be special, unique. Unforgettable.

Finally, this long-listened-for sound is interrupted by the only oddity you hear - the beating of your own heart.

John stands in the threshold with astonishment

"Honey? What's-?"

Slowly you hear his heavy footsteps, and after a moment you see him. A tired face, this time with longer facial stubble than usual. He is still dressed in a dirty tactical uniform. You don't even want to know what he witnessed in his absence.

He walks up to you and, as usual, one hand rests on your hip gently squeezing it and a warm kiss lands on your forehead.

"Some celebration? don't tell me I forgot about some important anniversary."

John looks up at you, despite his fatigue, his eyes shining happily illuminated by the candlelight.

"No, you haven't forgotten anything. It's something else."

Speaking, you grab a colorful bag and hand it to him

"A gift? oh, that means it is some positive occasion for me. For us?"

You smile nervously waiting for him to see what's inside.

Definitely a very positive news.

Time passes slowly. It's as if someone has pressed the slow motion button on the remote control to see the details better.

John, still in a good mood, finishes preparing the meal and finally turns in your direction and looks at you

"White or red?"

You bite your lower lip, feeling a coppery aftertaste in your mouth.

"Why are you doing this, John? Why is this happening again?"

Slowly saying these words, you look at his hands, which he wipes inattentively.

"But, what's the matter? I wanted to help you with dinner, dove. And I asked what kind of wine you wanted to drink. That's all."

With each step he takes toward you, you back away until you hit the wall.

"Tomorrow you will forget everything again, I don't have the strength anymore. I shouldn't have agreed to this. Again."

John stands close, much too close.

"How could I forget my biggest sweetheart? My beautiful wife? There's no way I'll ever forget you."

You finally lift your gaze, and look into his eyes. Hoping to see the same spark he once had, long ago.

However, all you see is emptiness. A faded blue.

And the only thought in your mind is for Johnny to hurry up and rescue you from this nightmare.

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 01/07

Anonymous asked:i think youre the first liveblogger ive seen to actually remember that orphaner dualscar was eridan’s flarping name?

Mindfang clearly describes the Serkets, so I wonder if Dualscar says anything about the Amporas?

Eridan's greatest enemy does have a duality theme, after all - and he was certainly scarred when the guy stole his crush >:)

@captorations asked:i have terrible news regarding homestuck and the good place: https://x.com/nbcthegoodplace/status/1039908767763259392?lang=en not to mention that. well. the two share more than you've encountered yet. it's very likely not a coincidence. have fun! oh and. re: my ongoing campaign of pointing out the homestuck ancestry of tlt characters. please compare aradia's "i am very much alive and i intend to stay that way" with dulcinea's "i'm not in the river and i won't ever be again"

...oh my god.

On reflection, this makes a lot of sense. Homestuck's fandom is pretty large, and some of its members were bound to be involved in the production of mainstream media. Still, it's wild to see a Homestuck reference - or, technically, a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reference - on the official Twitter for a show this big.

And Aradia does have a lot in common with Dulcinea, doesn't she? For one thing, they didn't really start influencing the plot until after they died.

Anonymous asked: Not really important anymore, but looking at what Gamzee has in his Strife Deck, it doesn’t look like he has any ranged options: he’s got the bowling pins, what appear to be a discarded sickle and lance from Karkat and Tavros respectively, what I’m PRETTY SURE is a whip of some sort, and the Zillyhoo hammer. The closest to a ranged weapon in that stack is the whip, or maybe the pins if he’s willing to throw them, but neither seem like they’d work very well against Vriska. Barring some secret power or other plot twist, I think Gamzee would genuinely be the underdog in that matchup. (Which feels weird, because Gamzee’s been mutating into a slasher villain while Vriska’s still very much an antihero protagonist. Usually the power balance is the other way around with those archetypes!)

On the face of it, Gamzee didn't seem to have great odds in that fight - but it's hard to know for sure with this pesky Bard. His Strife Deck contains plenty of cards we haven't seen, and whatever he did to the Black King is still shrouded in mystery. Everything's just so uncertain with him.

@mimescantscream asked: I've really been holding back all this time, but now that we've met the Grand-highblood, it really is extra painful to see a Gamzee who was once incredibly loving of his friends (despite their constant ridicule) end up falling down the path that fate seems to have pre-ordained for him. Was he truly always meant to repeat echoes of the past? Could things ever have gone differently for him?

Yeah, I've been having similar thoughts. His PoV seemed completely sincere, so I don't think his original personality was a fabrication, or anything. I think there is a part of Gamzee that cares about his friends - and maybe even he wants it back.

@jade-harley-real asked: […] I want a rant on the bad doctor from you pls pls pls

Scratch is straight up the scariest character in Homestuck.

What's he up to now? Hard to say since we're not telling him what to do. Guardians can never be told what to do.

The aura of menace he's cultivated is incredible, especially considering he barely even moves. He's playing the entire cast like a fiddle, armed with nothing but a typewriter and his own supercharged brain - and there's no doubt in my mind that his confidence isn't a mask. He knows he's going to win in the end.

English is coming. He's basically already here.

@elkian asked: I'll probably never be a Vriska FAN, but I gotta admit, she really never had a chance, what with the only adults in her life being: a trollvorous spider 1 missed meal away from eating her, Marquise "I do what I want" Mindfang, and Doc Scratch. Some role models! @manorinthewoods asked: So, now that Mindfang has been revealed, here's a question for you: how much of Vriska's Vriskyness is because she's Vriska, how much is because of Mindfang, how much is because of her lusus, and how much is because of Alternia in general? ~LOSS (20/6/24)

This is why I don't think she'd be like this on Earth. At this point, it's obvious that none of her Incidents were the result of her personality as it naturally arose.

I mean, look how anti-Aradiacide she was! They weren't even really friends!

Anonymous asked: ‘AA: there are all sorts of friends to meet AA: ones you already know and ones you dont’ I mean…couldn’t she just be referring to various doomed selves? I don’t see why the dream bubbles would just be confined to the alpha timeline seeing as the furthest ring is weird in terms of time and space

I was assuming that only Alpha Timeline deaths would be preserved by the Bubbles, but you're right - I'm not sure that was a reasonable assumption.

The Horrorterrors seem to eschew the concept of the Alpha Timeline. and, they've coordinated with both Doomed and Alpha versions of Rose and Dave. Plus, yeah, there is no time in the Ring, so timelines are probably meaningless there. Why would it only interface with the Alpha?

If the Bubbles do preserve doomed souls, then we might also run into the John who died to Typheus, and the Jade he couldn't save. That's a pair of ghosts I'd be very interested to meet.

Anonymous asked: If every Aradia comes back from every doomed timeline, the number would double each time, so you could get over a thousand of her with only ten doomed timelines.

Fair point- although, if an already doomed Aradia went back in time again, she'd be double doomed. Is that even possible? Would she die twice as quickly?

@mhafanlol2000 asked: Your issues with quirks and speech-to-text are pretty simple to explain. If a troll were to speak into a non-modified speech-to-text program, it would output text with their quirk. Because they, quite literally, speak in their quirk. Terezi probably isnt actually saying “YOU H4V3 LOST TH3 G4M3”, each number at a time, but the vibes are definitely there. I don’t know, this is hard to describe if you don’t inherently get it.

I think, jokes aside, it is indeed about the vibes.

In the troll intro pages, you get told a little about how each troll talks, and I think that's how we're supposed to translate their quirks to an audible medium.

Anonymous asked: i think ppl in the fandom have over time kinda built up a like, generally separate understanding of quadrants from how theyre described in the "official" explanation. which is like, not representative of how these terms are used in homestuck, but probably more useful for describing Good relationships that Do Not Suck. like basically making moirails equivalent to being queer platonic partners, making blackrom more about having a healthy fun rivalry, that kinda stuff.

It's funny, actually - I don't think I've encountered a single asker who accepts the quadrants as they're originally described.

The main issue is that, with the possible exception of matespritship, we haven't seen a single troll relationship with reflects the infodump's explanation of the quadrants. I think Hussie might just have jumped the gun a little when dropping it.

Anonymous asked: Shoutout to Karkat poking his friends in the background! Terezi (crying over Dave) and now Soloux (talking to Terezi). Karkat isn’t sure what the right response is but wants to be included! Reminds me of actual cats, just putting a paw on you for no discernible reason. @manorinthewoods asked: I'd like to note that Karkat poking Terezi's tears is the same sprite (and same 'poooke'!) as Karkat poking Sollux's burnt-out eyesockets. ~LOSS (12/6/24)

My man just likes poking.

@alicesoinions asked: not much to say just wanted to say I really enjoy your liveblog!!

Glad you're enjoying!

I've actually got a few new followers recently. Maybe I'm showing up in people's recommendations?

@heliotropopause asked: Dream bubbles are pretty neat, eh? Neat enough to inspire half of HtN, I'd bet.

…wait.

Oh my god, you're right. It's literally a River Bubble. They're both located in afterlives, for crying out loud!

Anonymous asked: Wanted to thank your liveblog for reminding me of a lot that I had flat out missed in canon, due to not putting it together or just reading too quickly. Most recently and notably on my mind right now, is that Feferi is the one who set up the dreambubbles!!! I had always thought that they were just a part of the world that readers didn’t know about yet, like how we weren’t yet introduced to Alternia and it’s moons until act 5. This went right over my head and it has me absolutely REELING (fishing pun included just for fef!!)

Feferi truly is the MVP.

I wonder what happened to dead Players before the Bubbles?

They're certainly not the only type of afterlife in the multiverse. Alternia has at least two types of undead, which implies that the Players are very, very lucky to have retained their personhood postmortem. Imagine this was what Feferi looked like in Jade's dream.

Anonymous asked: Knowing sollux, he probably already had coded his tech to recognize if his speech ever changed, and gave himself a different typing quirk for it, long ago. Not because he knew or thought it would happen, but because he thought it would be a fun coding project ((I know nothing about coding))

And yet, you somehow know exactly how we think.

Anonymous asked: Something I hadn’t really thought about, until I started reading this liveblog, is how much VRISKA ((autocorrect decided to caps that and I’m leaving it in lol)) was manipul8ted into a lot of her violence. Scratch pushed her towards vengeance against Aradia, and she didn’t want to go through with it. Did VRISKA ever tell anyone how much of her live she spent resisting these forces, or even really acknowledge it? She didn’t hide Spidermom, and arguably her need to kill other trolls was to prevent herself from being killed. BUT on the other hand, VRISKA voice would make it sound like a compliment “I almost didn’t kill you why don’t you appreciate me!!!!!!!!”

The thing is, VRISKA probably felt a lot of social pressure not to tell people she was coerced into her crimes. That would reveal that she was reluctant to kill, which is the opposite of what the Empire wants.

@manorinthewoods asked: You could have written a great Homestuck if you'd been Hussie. I think your style, if translated from reacting-to-comic to making-comic, would work great with what Homestuck is, and could have made a better product. I think you'd make a cerebral Homestuck, which would have been cool to read, except I would have botched reading it like I botched reading Homestuck in our Alpha Timeline. ~LOSS (11/6/24)

Thank you! I've tried to write before, actually, but whenever I reread my stories, they come off as esoteric, stilted and a little hard to follow. It's not an insurmountable problem, of course, and I really need to take a writing workshop at some point.

I'd love to make a webcomic, too, but my art also leaves a lot to be desired. I can adapt sprites just fine, but original drawings are hard, guys. Did anyone else know about this?

Anonymous asked: i counted just now, and only like 24 out of all 54 paradox space comics have zero spoilers. some of them are certainly more substantial than others (e.g. i counted ones that include jade’s consorts that you havent seen yet as spoilers) but a lot of them have Very Big Spoilers

It would have been awfully messy. I'm probably just going to read it once I've reached the Gigapause of 2013, and no longer need to worry about spoilers.

@bladekindeyewear asked: “Nepeta wasn't trying to pacify Equius, nor did she seem to be fulfilling any rigidly defined 'role' in his life. They just came off as very good friends, and their relationship was much better for it.” Well, maybe we ought to look at it through the lens of real relationships between friends? Once a healthy dynamic and boundaries are established, perhaps Moirails stabilize as long as they’re together.

That's a good way to interpret moirallegence - although, it does raise an issue with the quadrant that I'll be discussing on its own post, once I've finished the comp. There's no point in prehashing what I'm about to say, so I'll see you there!

Anonymous asked: karkats message didn't go through because of trollians narrative awareness feature, where it'll display something different in service of one of the several "all"-seeing entities, of which the reader is one <3 watsonian and doylist explanations are kissing with tongue

Since the fourth wall is an actual, physical piece of technology in this world, this isn't even that far-fetched!

@sashonya asked: So, as the session's timers continues to count down, what do you think will happen after The Scratch?

Beyond 'the session ends', it's difficult to say for sure. I think the two most likely possibilities are that the kids start exploring other sessions, or travel to a location completely outside the current scope of the comic. I am, of course, hoping for both.

@ericvilas asked: "I still believe that out of all the trolls, Karkat’s traits were featured the most prominently in humanity" yeah, I guess even humans aren't free from the effects of carcinization

CG: THERE IS ONLY ONE STEP. CG: AND IT IS ME.

[thezombieprostitute]

Unwanted - Part 4

Summary: Your life is no longer yours. You've been forced into becoming a different species of human. Bought and paid for, what can you do but follow orders and obey your Alpha?

Warnings: Allusions to surgery, human trafficking, kidnapping; Angst; Depression; Suicidal thoughts. Let me know if I missed any!

A/N: Reader is described as big & tall, is female. No other descriptors used.

A/N2: This chapter is a bit longer because it's got a fair amount of exposition. Hope it isn't too boring!

Part 3

True to her word, Nat let you stay held as long as you needed. You hadn't realized how touch starved you'd been. You were never much for physical contact before but Dr. Kemp had said that, part of being an Omega was an increased need for it. The yelling between Ari and Steve had either died down or moved elsewhere and you were feeling the need to get up and walk around.

Nat kept hold of your hand as she walked you out of the debriefing area. For someone so much smaller than you, she really had an air of strength that made you feel you could lean on her if you really needed to. Her status as being in charge of the Omegas really made sense.

"We're going to go for a gradual introduction into our community," she tells you when you enter a kitchen area. "You're an unmarked Omega who's hurting and our people are going to be compelled to help you, take care of you. It's a consequence of being a communal species; if you had a personal pack, there'd be less push because you have a trusted circle to take care of you. But since you're unmarked, if you're in trouble, everyone is going to want to help, much like when a child is crying or scared. A gradual introduction will be good so that you don't get overwhelmed and they can remember to restrain themselves. That said, you might still get a lot of unwanted attention. If you tell them 'no' and they still bother you, let me know. You could probably take care of yourself, but your scent indicates you're more the gentle, non-confrontational type."

"That could be the training they put me through," you counter.

She smiles, "your scent is a reflection of yourself, your core personality. It's currently mixed with others that indicate trauma, pain. But the underlying scent stays true."

"What is my scent? No one's ever told me."

"The underlying scent from you is a warm cinnamon, vanilla and brown sugar mixture," she smiles. "You're a real cinnamon roll."

"Huh, no wonder he didn't like it." Nat gives you a confused look. "Ari, when...when he bought me. He said he didn't want me because he didn't like my scent. He really seems the type to prefer spicy over sweet." You say that last part with a half smile, hoping she'll find it funny instead of sad.

She looks angry. "Give me a moment to add this to the list of Ari's bullshit." You nod and she pulls out her phone, typing up a message before putting it away. "He can be such an ass. But, good news, he's not your problem. If you never want to see him again, you won't. I'll make sure of it."

"That's...thank you," is all you can say as you lower your head.

"In the meantime, we've got a small apartment ready for you," she leads you onward. "It's not the nicest, but it's good for transitioning until we can find you a spot in our community. And no," she looks at you pointedly, "that doesn't mean get you a mate. If you find one, that's great. If you don't want one, that's great, too. I genuinely mean a role, a job, or something like that."

You breathe a sigh of relief and nod your understanding. Several hours ago you were resigned to a life as a sex slave, maybe even forced pregnancy. But the more time you spend with Natasha, the more you let yourself be hopeful for something better. No wonder her scent is like a river, providing life giving water while refusing to be stopped.

Stepping outside you look up and freeze. The stars, what few you can see past the lights of the building, are gorgeous. More importantly, they're another reminder of your freedom. And a reminder of all that you lost. You want to break down and cry again, but then Nat gets your attention.

"Hey, hey, look at me," she coos. "There's no way you'll get over this quickly. No one would ever expect you to. But I need you to keep walking with me to your apartment, okay? I don't want you out here too long and getting sick or attracting unwanted attention." You nod and continue walking. "Good news, I made sure your apartment has a skylight so you can keep looking at the stars, the moon, the clouds, even if you don't have the energy to go outside."

"Thank you," you whisper. Right now you can't imagine not wanting to be outside but you find yourself trusting her. Especially her kindness.

She takes you to what looks like a well kept motel. These must be the apartments. Sure enough, some of them have skylights while others don't.

Natasha walks up to one of the doors and hands you a key. "This apartment is meant to be a safe space for you so there's only one key and it will always belong to you."

"What about in case of emergency?"

"We break down the door or crash through a window."

"Fair." You grip the key tightly before turning to the door. You haven't had a space for yourself in so long but you're also worried this is going to be another cell. A much nicer cell, but a cell nonetheless. Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you unlock the door and take a few steps inside. It's plain, but not unwelcoming. There's even a small vase with flowers on the table in the living/dining area. It's a decent size for a temporary apartment. It certainly looks nicer than your last one. The one you'll never see again.

As you're turning and looking at things you realize Nat has stayed at the door. "What are you doing?" you ask her.

"You haven't given me permission to enter your space," she says, matter-of-factly.

The hope you've been struggling with grows a little stronger with that.

Part 3

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @peyton-warren;

@ronearoundblindly ; @startcarvingdarling: @dontbescaredtosingalong

[silverynight]

The haori

It surprises Tanjirou to see Tomioka arrive to the butterfly mansion; he knows (thanks to Kocho) that there's not going to be a hashira meeting any time soon. Also, and he feels relieved when he notices, Tomioka doesn't look injured.

His surprise only grows when the water hashira looks around, almost desperate. As soon as his deep blue eyes find his though, his shoulders relax.

Taking a deep breath, the Pillar sits right next to him on the floor. The sun is shining brightly over the backyard; everything looks green there.

It's really a beautiful day.

"They told me you were hurt."

He nods, although realizes quickly that it's useless because Tomioka is not looking at him.

"Nothing serious," he says, smiling because Tomioka's presence always makes him feel better. "It's just my arm and leg."

Turning his head at him, Tomioka frowns, glaring in disapproval at the bandage under Tanjirou's white pants. Then, he looks at the one under his sleeve like it has personally insulted him.

"Are you sure you don't need to be in bed right now?"

Shaking his head, Tanjirou chuckles; even though Tomioka looks irritated, his nose tells him he's not angry with him; he's worried. Around them, the people working in the mansion start looking in their direction every now and then with curiosity.

"I'm fine. I'll probably get another mission soon."

By the way he grimaces, Tomioka doesn't seem to like the idea of him going into battle at the moment.

Tanjirou is about to ask him what he's doing there when the hashira moves and puts his own haori on the young demon slayer's shoulders.

Blinking in confusion, Tanjirou glances up at Tomioka again only to see that he's looking away from him again. His cheeks are slightly pink.

"You looked like you were cold."

He's not. The weather is amazing. However, he doesn't want to make him feel bad (after all he's done for Nezuko) so he thanks him and puts it on.

Besides, his uniform and his haori are being washed at the moment so he supposes it's fine to borrow Tomioka's for a while.

It smells just like him; like ocean water, like salt... Like a river. All at the same time.

"It's huge," Tanjirou chuckles. It's only natural since Tomioka is taller and stronger than him.

"My haori looks perfect on you," the water hashira says and only then Tanjirou looks back at him, noticing the fond expression on his face.

He sounds almost proud and his eyes glimmer with triumph when he notices the others are watching them.

Aoi gets closer to them and (to Tanjirou's shock) bow at them both. Tomioka nods in approval for some reason.

No, she's never bowed at him. Tanjirou is sure her rank is superior to his.

"I'm sorry to interrupt such an intimate moment," she mumbles, prompting Tanjirou to narrow his eyes in confusion. "But I need to check on Tanjirou-san injuries."

San? Since when she uses an honorific to talk to him?

"Of course," Tomioka says. "I'll go with you."

***

Looking unusually nervous, Aoi does her best to change Tanjirou's bandages quickly. It seems like Tomioka's intense look is making her less confident for some reason.

She looks almost scared.

"You should get something to eat," she tells him, moving away from as soon as she finishes. Relief is written all over her face. "Well, I'm done here."

"Thank you!" Tanjirou grins, but doesn't have time to say anything else because Tomioka takes him in his arms and carries him to the main room.

They eat together; he's so focused on the food that doesn't realize he's still wearing the haori or that Tomioka is staring at him with a fond smile.

When they finish, Kocho tells Tanjirou she has important things to discuss with Tomioka so the young demon slayer goes to Nezuko's room to check on her.

He manages to catch a few sentences of their conversation however.

"You have to tell him, Giyuu! Otherwise you're doing this for nothing! You know it's not fair..."

"I will tell him eventually."

"Probably on your wedding day..."

Tanjirou narrows his eyes, he's not sure if Kocho is just joking or if she's being serious, but thinking about Tomioka getting married makes him feel sad for a moment. He shakes his head though, reminding himself to be kind. He should be glad for his friends.

After seeing that Nezuko is still asleep, Tanjirou decides to go back to the yard, but finds himself in front Murata instead. They almost bump into each other, however, thanks to his nose he could move away in time.

"Tanjirou!" He says, smiling as his cheeks turn slightly pink. "Just the person I was in looking for!"

"Really?" He chuckles. "What do you need from me?"

"Well... Since both got some free time right now I was wondering..." He stops as soon as his eyes fall over the haori Tanjirou's wearing. "Is that Tomioka-san's?"

"Yes," Tanjirou nods, looking down at himself, still amused. "It's really big for me, don't you think? Oh, sorry! You were about to tell me something! What was it?"

Murata shakes his head, looking pale.

"N-Nothig. I didn't know you were already–that you had..." Again, he stops when he sees something over Tanjirou's shoulder. He bows. "I was already leaving, Tomioka-san!"

"Wait!" It's too late, he's already gone before Tanjirou can say anything else. He smells a bitter scent coming from Tomioka when he moves right next to him. However, when the water hashira looks down at him, the smell is replaced by a sweeter one.

"Let's go to the backyard," Tomioka mumbles, trying to hold back a pleased smile.

***

Tanjirou gives him back the haori when it's time for him to leave. With a soft smile, he puts it back on slowly, almost like he wants everyone to see him.

"I'll be in contact," Tomioka promises, caressing Tanjirou's hair, surprising the young demon slayer. "I'll find a way to see you soon, no matter where you are."

Feeling excited at the possibility of seeing him again soon, Tanjirou beams at him. However, his smile vanishes when the water hashira leans, takes his hand and kisses it softly.

It's a shame the Pillar goes away right after that, leaving Tanjirou in a flustered shock for a couple of seconds.

There's something going on. Something he's missing.

He has to find out what it is.

***

Patreon

[strongheartneteyam]

I wish I could

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!curvy!human reader

CW: mentions of sexual fluids and sex itself, fluff, angst, pregnancy symptoms such as throwing up (maybe you shouldn't read if you find that too gross)

I'm really insecure about this chapter I guess I'm just thinking "Oh no but a human couldn't conceive a baby with a na'vi no way" but you know what this is MY avatar AU so it doesn't have to be completely canon I'm just a crazy perfectionist please forgive my madness guys 🥲 Anyway, it's just kind of a transitional chapter with some fluff and important stuff happening at the same time if makes any sense ?? I'll shut up now hope u like this 🤡

The words in italic are the translation of something said in na'vi previously.

Chapter 5

♡

Chapter 4

After Neteyam made love to you, he kissed your forehead, grabbed your hand and took you to the nearest river and cleaned you up. Your sex and thighs were all covered with his semen and you were all sweaty. Your body was still hot from what happened previously so you got shivers when your feet touched the cold water. But it was a good sensation. The Pandora waters were always so fresh and amazingly blue. It was such a sight to see.

When the both of you were deep into the river, the water covering you until your waist but it only getting to the middle of Neteyam's thighs, he started to use his hand to wash his seed off of you. You started to laugh 'cause the movements his hand was making were ticklish.

"Stop that, skxawng." (moron), he said laughing "Lemme clean you up fast 'cause it's getting close to the eclipse. Our parents will be waiting for us to reunite with the people for dinner."

"Eywa! You're right! I completely forgot about it."

Neteyam clicked his tongue "My beautiful airhead." He slapped your head slightly, not enough to hurt you, just to tease you, making you look at him with a wide smile in your lips. He was the most perfect being you had ever seen. You couldn't believe he was yours. His fangs hanging out of his mouth when he smiled back at you were so cute and sexy at the same time. You knew he could use his sharp teeth to rip someone's throat open but he would only use them to protect you.

After you were ready, Neteyam took a quick bath in the river waters and then you guys headed to the tribe. He was holding your hand and helping you so you didn't trip on any twigs fallen on the floor as you guys needed to walk fast because it was getting dark and dangerous in the Pandora forests. Your parents would be so worried if you two didn't show up soon to meal time.

You felt your cheeks blush when you walked into the sea of na'vi and a few humans reunited around the bonfire, eating their fruits and meat already. You couldn't wash away from your head that only 1 or 2 hours before you were moaning while Neteyam mated with you in the middle of the forest. Eywa, what if you guys had been caught? What if, Eywa forbid, Jake or Neytiri walked into you having sex with their son while they were hunting? You wanted to die just thinking about it.

You and Neteyam were no longer holding hands but you two were walking side by side.

He smiled at you and said "See you later?"

"I don't know. It's getting close to sleep time but maybe we'll talk a bit after dinner?" You said

He only moved his head down slightly in response, still smiling, not showing teeth, and headed to his family. You had just noticed Jake was looking at the both of you, a serene look in his face. You wondered if he was just looking at you two or if he knew something was up.

You knew Jake liked you a lot and he was a father figure to you, since your biological father had died and your na'vi mother, Ao'ite, lost her mate long ago, before you were even born. He died together with many other na'vi in a battle against the Sky People. You wondered how many na'vi had cried over a deceased loved one who was killed by humans. You hated your own species and was ashamed of being one of them. But you reminded yourself of something Jake would always tell you, since you were a child:

"You're one of us, little one. It doesn't matter what your biology is. You live like us, you love and respect our land, you speak our language and pray to Eywa. You're just as much na'vi as I am. Don't forget I once had a human body like yours." He said, sitting down on his heels to look better at your small human child frame and touching your chin slightly, making you smile and say "Thank you, Jake. I'm not sad anymore. If you say I am a na'vi, then I believe you."

He smiled big at you and you went running back to Ao'ite, who took you in her arms, wrapped your legs around her waist, her hands below your thighs and mouthed "Thank you" to Jake. He only motioned his head down a bit, smiling slightly at her.

But even knowing Jake loved you as if you were one of his own children, you still wondered what he would think about Neteyam choosing you as his mate. Would he be against it because you were a human? What about Neytiri? Would she be okay with it? Their eldest son was soon to become the next Olo'eyktan. He was being trained by his father almost everyday. Maybe his parents would think it's better for him to mate with a good na'vi girl. And you knew he would have plenty of options if he wanted to. You weren't blind to the way so many na'vi girls looked at Neteyam. And they were all so pretty and skilled. And the most important part was; they could give Neteyam children. You felt your heart ache.

You realized you were still standing in the same spot Neteyam left you. Swiftly you started walking towards your mom. She had a worried look on her face.

"Are you alright, my child?" Ao'ite asked as you sat down next to her

"I'm okay, mom. I was just lost in my thoughts." You said smiling at her and taking a reddish small fruit into your hand and taking a bite out of it

"I noticed you came to meal time with Neteyam. What were you guys doing that you both arrived here late, together?"

You almost choked on your fruit when you heard her saying that. There was something about mothers, it didn't matter if they were human or na'vi, but they always knew when you were up to something.

"I was just listening to music in the forest, in a safe place, away from dangerous animals, as you taught me, and Neteyam found me there and decided to stay with me for a while. You know he likes to listen to music from Earth with me. I always tell you how happy I get when he turns out to like a song that's one of my favorites." You said, hoping your mother would believe you and wouldn't ask anything further.

She looked away from you with a serious look in her face, taking another piece of meat from the big leaf laid on the floor and said:

"I know you feel something more for the Sully's son than just friendship."

You looked at her surprised and said:

"Y-you do?" With wide eyes and red cheeks

"Ma (y/n). I'm an old na'vi woman. I can tell when a young girl is in love. Don't forget I once was around your age and fell for your father." She smiled

She used to refer to her late mate as your father, even though you never met him but you heard many stories of how great a warrior he was. And you knew he was generous, funny and treated your mom very well when he was alive. So you held him dear in your heart, even if you didn't even know how he looked.

"Neteyam is very special to me." It's all you said, looking down shyly

➳

You woke up the following day with the weirdest feeling in your throat and soon you realized you had to throw up so you jumped off of your mat, ran out of your mother's house and stopped only when you got behind a tree that was close-by. You put your head down and threw up what seemed to be all you had eaten the night before.

You heard the sound of leaves breaking on the floor and you looked behind you only to see Neytiri looking at you, seeming to be really worried.

"(y/n), honey. Are you sick?"

You cleaned your mouth with the back of your hand and looked up at Neytiri.

"Hm... I think so. I might have eaten a fruit that was starting to rot at dinner yesterday or something."

"I'm still worried. Do you need help?" She said

"I think I'm alright. Thank you anyway, Neytiri. You're always so nice to me." You smiled, looking at her beautiful face. Neytiri was the most beautiful woman in the clan, in your opinion.

She smiled softly

"If you need anything, shout as loud as you can and I'll come running to your aid. Okay?" She touched your shoulder

"Okay." You answered and she went her way

Later that day, after you had lunch you felt sick again and tried to run away to throw up because you hated making a mess at the house but Ao'ite came just in time to see you struggling.

"My daughter. Are you gonna throw up?" She saw you covering your mouth with your hand while your face was pale

The yellow liquid falling to the floor was the answer to her question

"I'm sorry, mom. I'll clean it up." You said already going to fetch a cloth to wipe the floor with but Ao'ite interrupted you

"Nonsense, child. You're sick. Sit down and I'll bring some water to wash your face." There was still vomit in your mouth and chin "Only after you're clean, I'll take care of the mess on the floor."

"Okay, mom. I think I need to lie down a bit." You said and laid on the floor "I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't seem to keep anything I eat inside my body. I always puke it."

Your mother was coming near you carrying water in a big seashell and a cloth and looked at you with her big yellow eyes for a few seconds, a serious expression in her face.

She knelt to the floor, wet the cloth in the water inside the seashell that was in one of her hands and started to clean your face up. When you were clean, she looked at you, seemingly mad and said:

"(y/n), did you mate with Neteyam?"

You looked at her not being able to believe what she had just asked.

"I..." You almost denied but there was no use "I did, mother."

"I knew you guys weren't just listening to songs together." She said, shaking her head in disappointment "(y/n), I might be mistaken but I have helped a lot of human girls and women with their pregnancies. I don't know if this is possible, but, you are showing symptoms that might indicate you're with child." Your mouth fell open

"I saw Neytiri when I went to the forest earlier today to hunt food for our lunch. She told me she saw you throwing up. You know how much she cares about you. She was worried and asked me to keep an eye on you."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, mom... I thought it was just something bad that I had eaten. I... I didn't think it was possible."

"I'm not sure it is. But there's a real possibility you're carrying Neteyam's child. And that's a big deal, my daughter. He's going to be the next Olo'eyktan." What she said brought back to your mind all those thoughts about not being good enough to be Neteyam's mate

"After I clean the floor, I will go to the lab and call Dr Evelyn. She will be able to tell us if you're really pregnant. You stay here and go lay in your mat. You gotta rest." She said, standing back on her feet and leaving to fetch something to clean the floor

You did as you mother said and went to lie down at your mat. After she had left, you were still awake and uncomfortable for half an hour but then you feel asleep, feeling tired.

➳

Meanwhile, Neteyam had just stopped for a break from his Olo'eyktan training with Jake. They were resting, sitting on the floor and Jake was cleaning his arrow when Neteyam said:

"Dad?"

"Yes?" Jake looked at his eldest son

"I have something important to tell you." Jake was looking at the arrow in his hand but looked back at Neteyam after hearing those words

"I chose a mate."

Jake had a serious expression at his face

"It's (y/n)."

Jake smirked and said "Who could have seen it coming? The girl you're always drooling over is the one you want to be your mate."

"The thing is... She already is, if you know what I mean."

"What?!" Jake was angry "And you didn't think to tell the people first? You have a great responsibility to the clan as the Olo'eyktan to be." He looked at him like he was crazy

"I'm sorry, dad. It all just happened so fast. It was only yesterday." Neteyam tried to defend himself

"Yeah, of course it was. I suspected something was up when you two arrived late and side by side at dinner."

"What do I do now, dad? Can I tell the people tonight?"

"Boy, you think with your penis, not your brain." Jake said, pushing Neteyam by his arm. "And is there another option? You have to make an announcement as soon as possible. It's gonna be tonight. And you're still not finished with your training. You were supposed to court her for a while and only mate with her after you became Olo'eyktan. How am I gonna tell your mother about it?" Jake shook his head

"Sorry?" Neteyam said with an awkward smile

➳

You woke up with a human female voice calling you softly. It was Dr Evelyn Miller.

"Hi, (y/n)." The redhead was looking at you with a soothing expression in her face "How are you feeling? Your mother told me you threw up a bit."

"Hi, Dr Evelyn. I feel better now. Thank you."

"That's great. Ao'ite told me you were chosen by a nice na'vi boy to be his mate. Is that right?" She was smiling

"Yeah...." You smiled shyly

"And she told me you guys were in a rush and you two mated already." You felt your face burn "The thing is, something weird seems to be going on here. You are showing symptoms of pregnancy. I have to get a sample of your blood and run some tests to see if you really are pregnant. Is that okay?"

"Sure..." You said nervous

"It won't take long. I have all the equipment I need here on my backpack."

Dr Evelyn stung you with a needle in a syringe she took out of a metal box that was inside her backpack. You saw the crimson blood being collected inside the syringe and sighed deeply, your breath faltering.

Ao'ite looked at you worried.

Half an hour later, Dr Evelyn looked at you with a surprised face and finally spoke:

"You are carrying a na'vi baby in your womb. That's crazy." She laughed slightly in disbelief

Ao'ite's eyes got filled with tears and she smiled

"I thought you were mad, mom." You looked at her face

"I'm mad you were irresponsible. And I'm worried for your fragile human health. But I'm also happy I'm gonna have a grandchild. And this child will be na'vi. Eywa ngahu!" (May Eywa be with you)

You felt tears starting to wet your cheeks.

"Congratulations, (y/n). You're gonna be under my care from now on as something like this has never happened before and we don't know how your body is gonna react. I'll leave you guys alone now." She smiled, put her backpack on her shoulder and exited your home

"Mom, I need to tell Neteyam!" You said smiling

"Do you want me to go to the Sully's house and call him? He better have told his parents that you guys mated. I don't want anyone confused or mad when I get there. I already have a lot on my plate right now." She laughed a bit

♡

tagging:

@lik0

@behindthearcane

@destinylb

@thelxnelyworld (I'm tagging you because you asked for part 4 💙)

(If any of you guys don't wanna be tagged anymore just tell me don't wanna bother anyone lol)

[mrsnancywheeler]

the river (6) // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: the Capitol has taken you away from Finnick, the life you've been trying to build together and now he has to fight to get every part of you back

previous chapter

masterlist

7.1k words

warnings: hurt/comfort, smut, angst, fluff, arguments, a wedding, pnv, unprotected sex, f receiving fingering, he doesn't pull out, cursing, allusions to trafficking, paranoia, violence, mentions of death, suicidal ideation, self-hate, dount, mentions of pregnancy but she's not pregnant, distrust, brainwashing, mentions of Snow, unedited, no use of y/n

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

You looked so beautiful, so angelic, so unspeakably alluring standing in front of him in your borrowed dress. Never had he felt more excited than when he'd realized this was in fact the day you would become not just his wife in spirit, but legally, Mrs. Odair. The way you'd so delicately smiled up at him made him feel like his grin was more like that of a mad man, and maybe he was. Madly in love, madly obsessed, madly in need to spend the rest of his life with you. He needed the revolution to be over so he could have a billion kids that looked just like you, that laughed like you did, and smiled like you did. How soft your fingers felt when they brushed his lips with salt water was addicting just as it was when his fingers did the same to your lips. He felt blindly dazed by your smile as you recited the vows, Finnick barely remembered that there were cameras around.

Your genuine happiness was something he had come to miss, yet here it was once again. The feeling that made all the rough times worth weathering the storm, how unequivocally enamored of you he was with each smile and sweet word. Your sugary repetition of what the officiant said eventually waned, Coin had insisted on less flowery vows to keep the event concise, but that was okay because he'd spilled his heart before. It also helped that now he wasn't sure he'd be able to form any coherent proclamations of love when looking at you put him into a stupor.

“I, Finnick Odair, take you as my wife from this day forward. Together or apart, we will always be united. One life, one purpose, one destiny.” He'd never get sick of the way you were looking at him right now, like that same girl from the market that he'd approached all those years ago who was joyously stunned that Finnick Odair would even talk to her.

“You may kiss the bride." The officiant announced and Finnick had never been more pleased for his lips to touch yours. The salty and peachy taste that lingered on your lips that he adored, compounded with the sound of the children's choir beginning to sing, a confirmation that his official voyage with you had really begun. Ever so slowly he pulled away to gaze at you further.

“Hi." You whispered softly through your perfect smile.

“We're married." He whispered back, the giddy smile almost hurt, but he couldn't make himself stop. “Like actually married."

You nodded with a light laugh, "Yeah, we are!” The words left you so breathily before you'd kissed him once again and he wanted to drown in your lips. His mind seemed to echo the same words over and over again, a never ending stream. She's actually my wife. She's so happy and pretty and my wife. My wife. The way you danced and laughed was exhilarating, this was the you that the Capitol had chipped away at making a glorious appearance. You could have another breakdown tomorrow, but right now you shone brighter than the sun and it was all that mattered. It wasn't home, there was no sea breeze in the air, there had been no net to cover you both, or sending the couple off in a boat at the end for farewells. It wasn't even the spring time wedding you'd once whispered about on late nights, but it seemingly was exactly what you both needed.

Your feet had only stopped moving once the cake was rolled out, glorious in its waves of blue frosting. It truly left him amazed in the attention to detail of each sea creature so delicately placed. “Oh, it's perfect." You muttered, squeezing his hand.

Finnick nodded in agreement, “It's amazing." It was the closest to home as either of you could get, he ached to be able to know he'd be carrying you over the threshold of a tiny cottage by the sea, but he couldn't until this was all over. Until they'd won. So the cake would have to be sufficient enough and in the joy, it was. Especially when you so carefully fed him a bite of it, blue staining his teeth as he took the bite. Before the blue and green had just as equally begun to stain your lips when he did the same, and it made him feel so young again. A kid who'd eaten too many colored sweets.

Eventually the propo had to come to an end and with it, the fun and dancing. But his happiness didn't subside, even if it was no traditional reception of dancing all night, at least he could carry you through the door of the compartment and be with you for eternity.

“Hello, Mrs. Odair." He'd whispered after carefully placing you on the floor of the shared room.

“Hello, Mr. Odair." You responded absentmindedly, eyes so loving as your fingers played with his hair.

“We're actually married, officially married, forever and ever and ever."

“Yeah." You glowed, all of you was so bright. “Don't get cold feet on me now."

"Never.” He affirmed, kissing you again.

"Good because I'm rather attached.” He smirked and quickly pulled you back into his lips. Slowly, but surely your lips attacked him more feverishly, with more passion. It had been so long, but it was a feeling he missed so much, until your fingers had slidden down to the buttons of his jacket, where some sort of panic permeated his happiness. He longed for you more than he'd even let himself ponder, but he couldn't risk it when you were still at risk of a meltdown at any turn. So reluctantly he pulled away.

“Angel, what are you doing?"

He missed the cooling feeling of your skin the moment you pulled contact away and hated how embarrassed you suddenly looked. “I'm sorry, I should have asked, Finnick. If you don't want to, I won't.”

His hands reached out to assure you otherwise and caress the side of your head. “No, no, sweet girl, that's not it. You're all good."

For a moment you seemed relieved before the confusion seemed to settle back in. “Then what's wrong?” Finnick sighed, how could he tell you he was terrified that you'd have a mid-thrust mental breakdown that threw you into some kind of terrified hysteria? He sat down on the bed, preparing himself for the hole he was digging himself into. At the very least, talking to you about it now was leagues better than going along until you cracked.

“Honey, I just don't think it's a good idea."

“Oh, okay." Shit. He always ruined everything. You'd been so open and happy all day only for your voice to slightly break with a speck of insecurity. You were so sweet with the way you'd move on to pretend it didn't upset you somewhat and find something else to do.

“Not because I don't want you, trust me I do." The words tumbled out of his mouth as fast as he could form them to try and reassure you.

“If you want to, then what's stopping us? I do too."

"Honey, come here.” He patted down on the bed and you sat, carefully he grabbed your hands, hoping his warmth would provide some sort of comfort. “I just think maybe we should wait until you're feeling like there's less of a chance that you'll get scared when we're in the middle of something.

"I'm not gonna get scared, Finn, I want this.”

"You're not right now, but say you get hit with those thoughts that say I want you dead, which I don't, and I'm on top of you. That'd be scary for you.”

"I haven't had an episode for a couple weeks.” Your head turned to stare at the wall in front of you.

"You haven't had a major one and I'm so proud of you for that, but you've had some small ones. I don't want one getting bigger because of the circumstances.” Your hands pulled away from his, covering your face where stray tears must have begun to fall. “Hey, no, don't cry. I'm just trying to look out for you."

“I make everything so difficult, I'm sorry."

“No you don't, it's all okay."

Quiet sniffles filled the room before you laid your hands back down on your lap to look at him. “Finnick, I get you're worried about me and I love that about you. But I could freak out waking up in the middle of the night or when we're just cuddling. I want this, I want you, and if the worst happens then it happens and we cross that bridge, but I'm really sick of letting it control me.” He wanted you too, he'd felt guilty for any fantasies he'd had of you, but he had missed every part of you beyond belief.

“I just don't want to do anything you might not be able to handle, I'd need you to constantly communicate with me, so I know you're okay."

“I will, I promise."

You were so ethereal, he hated that it made parts of him throb when his brain had already found another dilemma. “I don't think they've got birth control here, or at least we don't have any."

“That's okay, I don't care." No, he couldn't do that to you. How could you handle being pregnant in the midst of everything else?

“It's not a good idea, angel."

“Why? We'll win the war soon and be back home." He wished it was that simple, but poor you having an episode would only complicate things.

“Honey, I just don't think you're ready right now."

“You're?" Fuck. Why the fuck would he say that.

“I meant to say we. We're not ready." Why was he so stupid? How could he manage to be trying to protect you so hard that he caused an episode instead? He'd have to brace himself for the mess he was causing.

“You’re lying to me. Why am I not ready?”

What he'd give for this blip to be over, to be at the point where there could just be children without all the worry about your health. "It's our wedding night, let's not argue. Let's go to bed, I'll read to you.”

But your walls were slightly raised and he could feel it as you stood up. "I wasn't trying to argue, I was trying to consummate the marriage. And instead of just saying you weren't feeling it right now and letting us move on, you said you thought I'd be a bad mom.”

"That's not what I said, don't put words in my mouth.” He said it too sharply and instantly regretted it.

“Then what are you saying, Finnick?” He despised the fact that he was only confusing you more when he was supposed to be letting you know what was real and what wasn't. The stress in your voice was evident as your arms protectively crossed around your body, foot tapping.

“That I don't think this is a good time for a baby, we should jump over a few more hurdles first." Finnick stood up, desperate to touch you, to soothe you. Trying to hide how mortified he was that regardless of all the talk he could still feel himself straining against his pants. “I just didn't say it right, I'm sorry, sweet girl."

"If you don't want to have sex that's fine, but stop trying to come up with excuses.”

"Angel, I do, I'm just…I've gotten so focused on trying not to set anything off that I've started planting the thoughts instead." He should be stronger, more able to read you so that he wasn't the one instigating the thoughts. Instead he was becoming overly paranoid himself, he hated the idea that he could need care when he was finally trying to care for his girl. “What I meant was, I think we should wait until the war is over for certain, so I'll just pull out." Slowly he approached you, hands softly urging your arms to uncross.

He could feel the way you began melting into his touch and it made him feel whole again. "Do you actually want to? I don't want you to feel like you have too because I'm in a mood.” Your eyes glistened with a sincerity that warmed his heart as your arms succumbed to his movements.

"Wanna make my sweet girl feel better, want to make it up to her.” He could basically hear your heart pounding and he loved that you still got somewhat flustered.

“You're absolutely sure though, right? This isn't just you-" His lips on yours cut off the further listings of any anxieties. Free hands searching for the zipper on the back of the dress as he quickly slid it down. He only pulled away long enough to make sure the dress had successfully become a pool at your ankles before his lips were on your chest. “Finnick?" Your voice snapped his head from his assault to look at you, who looked so sheepish to say anything at all. “Can that wait? I'm just… you know.”

With a smirk he raised his head, makitsure to stand fully back up as he looked at you. "You're just what, angel?”

"Finn, you know.” Your fingers messed with his jacket sleeves as you avoided his gaze.

Softly he pecked you on the lips,"Communication.” Another quick peck, "Need you to say it for me.”

"Finny, please don't be mean.” Fuck. Pulling out that nickname ever so sugary sweetly made him want to cave, to get straight onto taking care of you for life. “Already spent all that time arguing."

"Not being mean, angel, we just have to practice using our words.” You lifted his hand to your face, touching the heat of it to your face, which was oddly hot already considering how cold your hand was, per usual.

Your breath fanned across his hand as you quietly gave the confession, “Been aching for you all day, Finn."

“All day?" His hands moved to slowly unhook your bra, “Waited so well for me." The way you needed to just be coddled and taken care of was evident, he wanted nothing more than to love on you any way that he could. He let the bra fall to the wayside so his fingers could focus on how soaked your panties had become. “Can tell you've been waiting." It had been so long it was no wonder you were shy under his gaze. “Gonna make it better, show you how sorry I am." He could fall into the endless depths of your eyes that drew him in and fall forever with a smile on his face.

“I love you." The way you said it so tenderly made his heart skip a beat, he couldn't help but smile and place a small kiss on the tip of your nose.

“I love you, sweet girl.” Your fingers slipped up to continue the unbuttoning of his jacket which fell into a pile on the floor.

“Are you sure-"

“Yes, I'm sure." Finnick tried to back up this assurance through his eyes, hoping you could read through the depths of his soul. He slid his shirt off and you nodded, a signal that you had accepted what he said as truthful. Your fingers had settled on the button of his pants which you'd slowly undone as he stood there in utter awe of just you, all of you. He stepped out of his pants and boxers, leaving you on a nearly even playing ground. His fingers made their way to your hips, to the hem of your underwear to start pulling them down and the way your skin was so cold was startling. You'd always been freezing to the touch, but it made him feel guilty that you'd been stripped of any warmth besides his fingertips. “You're basically shivering, angel."

“You're burning up, so I'll be okay." It was true, the way your body temperatures aides the others had felt like another way you were made for each other. So slowly he'd pulled the panties off your body until they hit the floor as everything else had. Without another word your lips had crashed onto his which he used as an opportunity to slowly guide you towards the bed while you were lost in the feeling of his lips. He laid you down as your hand on the back of his neck dragged him down with you.

He took the opportunity to slide his fingers into your core and reveled in the feeling of you moaning into his mouth. A sound he hadn't heard in so long that it rang in his ears like music, a symphony that he could listen to for days. “You're so perfect." He muttered through the seconds you pulled away for air. You laughed breathlessly, shaking your head, “Yes you are." Finnick reiterated, thumb finding your clit causing another moan into his mouth the moment your lips had reattached to his. “Melodic to my ears angel, so perfect." Your hands tugged at his hair and he couldn't suppress the groan that came out.

"Love you so much, Finn.” The way you talked through the whimpers every time he added more pressure to your bundle of nerves made him an obsessive man. Your lips had become swollen from your prevalent addiction to his mouth, but you didn't seem to care, whining when he pulled his head just out of reach, trying to tug him back down.

He began thrusting his fingers in faster, mesmerized, as he always was and would be, by the way your face contorted with pleasure. “Love you too, angel, love my wife so much." In his daze of fascination you were able to pull his face back towards your own, fingers knotting in his hair.

Your voice was airy as you smiled softly through small whines,"Your wife.” He felt the clear heat your face exuded when he pressed his forehead to yours, it felt like your souls were one.

"My beautiful, perfect, gorgeous wife.” Your lips raised just enough to steal another peck from him as he kept rubbing harsh circles onto your clit. For a while he became enraptured just by your sounds, he didn't know how long had passed as he took in every small whimper to the loudest moans that you tried to cover.

“Oh my god, Finn!" You writhed slightly, a tell-tale sign of how near you were to release.

"You close, sweet girl? You gonna come for me?” He does his fingers up, as well as the intensity of his circles. Lips meeting yours once again as you nodded, eyes scrunching closed.

“So, so close." He began kissing at your neck, beguiled by the somehow lingering smell of the ocean on your skin.

"Come on, you can let go for me, sweet girl.” His kisses trailed down to your chest once again, utterly addicted to leaving the lingering feeling of his lips wherever he could. Upon your release the climactic end of the symphony blessed his ears and he was certain that if it was somehow possible, it had certainly made him harder. "So good for me." He slid his fingers out of you, the need to taste you winning when he brought them to his mouth.

“Need you inside, Finny, please." Your hands lead his face back close enough to kiss as you tried to catch your breath.

“You sure you're ready, angel?” You nodded eagerly, legs lifting to cross around his torso, pulling him closer.

“Yeah. Are you?" Your voice was so sugary sweet and addictive, every part of you was, if he died he was sure every part of you would consume his senses first.

“Yeah." His hand moved to softly caress your face, moving small strands of hair that had begun sticking to it away. Carefully he lined himself up with your entrance, stroking your cheek before he slowly pushed himself in. The sounds of both of your moans mixed in the air, intertwined as your bodies were. “Feel so good, angel. Fits so perfectly, you were made for me, we were made for each other." It was true, he wouldn't be complete without you. He'd gone his whole life needing nothing more than you, in every sense of the way, you fit one another flawlessly. He felt so sensitive that he was scared he might already be on his way to the climax, which he only dreaded because of how close he felt to you when he was in the warmth of your walls. That you were as close as you possibly could be, yet he still longed to be nearer.

“Faster, please?" It was nearly incoherent as you babbled through your whines, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, as if you were still somehow trying to pull him in further. He happily obeyed your plea and sped up his ministrations, thrusting through his own climbing pleasure as he moaned. “Missed you so much, Finn. Can't live without you, you're-" Your own moans interrupted your train of thought and you took a moment to regain some type of verbal composure. “Only ever wanted you, only needed you. Meant to be." He was able to decipher your proclamations through the whines and over the sound of his own noises, it brought him ten times closer to feel so basked by your love.

“Not gonna let anyone hurt you ever again, I'm gonna take such good care of my wife. Promise." The security you both needed, that you both ached for and could only be guaranteed once the reign of Snow had toppled entirely. You looked ethereal, your face scrunched up with each noise you made, hair splayed out around you, eyes glazed over with adoration and pleasure. He was so hypnotized by the way love seemed to have filled every crevice of the room and whisped around that he barely even registered that he was at the very top of his climax. He'd let go at what felt so suddenly that he'd simply thrusted further inside of you as you moaned at your own release. It wasn't until the thrill had mostly passed that he remembered his own fears. “Shit, shit, shit.” He muttered as he pulled out of you completely.

You sat up almost instantaneously and he could feel the panic radiating off of you. "What, are you okay?”

You were so sweet. "Yeah, I'm fine, sweet girl. I just…" He trailed off, staring at you, wide-eyed, anxious to help at any indication something was wrong. For years, nearly a decade he had loved you, something that somehow seemed to be constantly, rapidly increasing. Besides all the troubles you'd both endured he knew there was nothing he would trade any of it for if he knew he could have you and now that life you both yearned for was just in grasp. Finnick had and would dedicate every second he could to sustaining that dream and keeping you afloat, and if he could do that, he could do the same if you did get pregnant. He sighed and leaned closer to you, “Nevermind, angel, just didn't pull out, but it's okay. We're so close to freedom I can taste it and I want a family with you so bad. Finally going to be able to have our perfect little family and perfect little life." He crawled into the bed near you, kissing your face.

“You really want a family with me?" Your eyes were wide with an adorable hope, like you hadn't really accepted that he really wanted to be with you. He scoffed like the doubt was ridiculous.

“Of course I want a family with you, my sweet girl, I married you." He pulled you as close as he could get you, foreheads pressed together once again, making his heart buzz with contentment.

You smiled before looking for reassurance once again, which he was happy to deal out. “And you're gonna stay with me, right? Never gonna be a part or split up again?"

With all the sincerity possible he caresses your face again, “Never gonna leave you again, I promise, angel." You were blissfully pleased with his answer and kissed him once again.

But maybe Snow was right, even if it was unintentional, Finnick Odair was a liar and he in some ways resented himself for it. Yet it felt like there was nothing else for him to do when weeks later he found out about the squad Coin was putting together and he was absolutely certain that regardless of the shared training, the promises, he had to be on that squad, and you absolutely could not be.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Finnick couldn't remember the last time he'd be physically ill, but since you entered the arena, he'd spent every day fighting the nausea. The Capitol's medicine certainly helped, but when he got feverish he barely wanted to take the concoctions. No if you died, he'd let himself die of fever to be with you. This was all his fault for ever even breathing in your direction, for caring, and now he'd have to suffer for it. What kept him going was how he had to be presentable and therefore healthy enough to get you sponsors, to rally for you. So he downed the medicine and copious amounts of caffeine to try and stay awake, he couldn't risk missing anything regardless of the alliances supposed to keep watch when you slept, he knew how fickle those could be. He rallied harder than he ever had to keep the public opinion on your side, you were sweet, delicate, a hopeless romantic, trying to stay alive for love, so pure, naive, a princess being forced to slay the dragon. Per usual people gobbled up any word that fell from his mouth and the sponsors came when called.

Then the rain started and he prayed that the arena would flood, you could swim, you'd survive that way, but it didn't flood. Raindrops just pattered down as the temperature dropped and then in what seemed like a matter of minutes, a few days into the rain, you were sick. Never had he been so grateful to have withheld the money for gifts beforehand because now he could get you what you needed to stay alive. Your lips were turning blue and he felt like he was tripping over himself in anxiety to send it to you. The sound of the rain echoed in his ears as he desperately waited for the blanket to arrive. For you to be warm, to stay alive. That night was the first one he had let himself cry, where death felt so imminent that he was plotting ways to go with you.

You persisted, you were like that. He felt his spirits rise as you continued on, so smart, so resourceful. His stomach wasn't in complete knots until suddenly your facade was slipping. What the fuck were you doing? What the fuck were you saying?

“Seems there's a lot about you I don't know then.” Conway stood and stared at you, Finnick could feel the illusion cracking through the screen. It was never going to continue forever, but this was too soon.

You tried to be quick on your feet, to throw together words to save yourself. “I’m not saying that I want to, just that sometimes you have to do what it takes to survive. Even if it's difficult -”

Conway interrupted your attempted safe and in that moment Finnick's stomach dropped. “Untrue?" Fuck. Fuck him. Fuck himself and Conway and fuck your slip of tounge. The stress had clearly gotten to you and was messing with how articulate you usually could be with your words.

“Yeah, I guess."

Finnick couldn't help but start muttering out loud, “No, no, no, no, don't say that. Angel, please.” He felt like he was going to cry again, you were on the edge of a cliff and the rocks were cracking.

“I'm sorry if that upsets you, I'm just doing what it takes to get home." Of course you were, you were doing what you had to, like every victor had, but you shouldn't have said it. It definitely didn't help that the frustration was evident in your voice. There must have been a brick of lead in the bottom of his stomach. Now he could never be home with you. Conway knew, there was no way he didn't.

“It’s okay, I understand.” No he didn't. “It's just hard to come to terms with, when you remember that this is all designed to bring that out in us. To see the other side, not through rose colored glasses.” Then he kissed you and Finnick knew the tides had turned. You needed to catch on, you could not be the prey, not now. Say you have to pee and run. Dart to wherever you can and hide.

Yet you didn't, you stuck by his side, and didn't follow when he and the male tribute from 7 went off alone for a second as you all ate. Finnick felt numb as the two discussed how they would get rid of you and the girl from 7, eyes red and stinging as he stared at the screen. He was helpless, he could only hope you could get his telepathic message that you were in danger. You didn't and your death warrant had been signed.

He saw how disenchanted Conway was by you when you killed the girl from 2. How dare he be disgusted when you were doing exactly what you had too in order to survive. Finnick was screaming at you through the television when Conway led you away. Stay. Stay by the girl from 7, let her take out the threat of Conway. Don't go with him. It was so hard to watch, but he persisted because he had to make sure you were alive. Finnick despised the way Conway was luring you in, he didn't care if it was hypocritical, you needed to survive, to come back home to him. When Conway's lips crashed into yours as he pulled the knives, your only protection, out of your hands Finnick felt like he'd lost all grip on reality. He threw a glass at the screen which shattered with a resounding crash, bubbly liquid cascading across the room, but he didn't care. Not when you were being led straight to your death, a ticket to a train that kept you forever away from him on this Earth.

You appeared so innocent and trusting, but with a glance Finnick could tell how scared you were, that you knew something was no longer quite right. Then the foot tapping started and if Finnick's stomach could get heavier then it did, too obvious. Any chances of you being able to play the role of the naive ingenue were long gone because Conway knew what it meant too. Then you did as Finnick had begged you to do long before, you ran. Predator and prey. You ran, he chased. Conway's long legs gave him an advantage as he sprinted after you, calling your name out in the tense air. You tried to hurtle yourself upon the closest tree and Conway had pulled you down in seconds.

This was it, the end. Finnick could feel his eyes welling with tears as his yells intertwined with your screams of begging Conway to let you go. He didn't know when he did it, but the coffee table had been toppled over on the floor, objects scattered across the carpet. Conway spewed on and on about how he knew you didn't love him, your heart was clearly owned by another, and how he was getting back at you now. You fought like hell, trying to squirm your way out of his arms until a knife was firmly plunged in your side. The scream you let out was so gut wrenching that let himself crumple onto the floor. Knees pulled up to his chest, face wet with a steady stream of tears, he was so helpless, so broken to not be able to save you.

You, however, made the tides change when your hands, now covered in defensive wounds, sharply forced themselves into Conway's eye. He screamed, trying to cover it, and you'd instantly darted up. Suddenly there was light at the end of the tunnel again, you were so smart, you'd halted him long enough to grab the spear. Finnick held his breath until the cannon went off, you'd overcome it, and he hated that he'd doubted you would.

Regardless of the fact that there were two tributes left, part of the weight on his chest lifted. He knew the feeling of how adrenaline pushed through the body to get you through every kill to the victory when one was in the arena and he could see it in you. His eyes stayed glued to the screen and he felt like he was stuck to the floor. Fingers knotting into the carpet as he anxiously watched. Time passed agonizingly slow, it hadn't been long, but each second you were still in there was hell. A hell that burned his chest just as yours must have been was the girl from 7 was holding you under the water. Just hold your breath, don't panic, just keep holding it as long as you can. You were an excellent swimmer, you could do this. Your body flailed about, trying to break free, but the other girl was firm in her hold. He'd sink into the bathtub himself, go overfill it and drag his head under, force the instincts to hold his breath wouldn't kick in.

Oh how the Capitol would mourn but love the tragedy of every single lover dead. The story they would tell of how heart wrenching it was. A story that wouldn't be told because you'd found the spear and quickly thrusted it upwards. A cannon echoed. You'd won. You'd come back to him. He'd be yours. You'd be his. You'd be each other's. Tears of relief, of happiness racked through his body. Fate had granted you both more time, he would forever be indebted for it. He shot up from the floor, staring at you, “I'm gonna be with you so soon, angel, right with you. Never gonna leave." He'd do whatever he could to be with you as soon as possible, to hold you once again, it was exhilarating to know the work had not been in vain. He'd have to comfort you, console you, but it would all be worth it just to be with you once again. He couldn't even dream of ever leaving your side when he had you so securely back, the one person he loved more than life itself.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Finnick thought he'd had plenty of preparation for how you might respond when you found out that he'd convinced Coin you weren't mentally stable enough yet to be on the squad. He'd done it to protect you, to make sure you were safe, but he needed to be involved. It felt like a no-brainer that he had to help really take the Capitol down, take Snow down. Your emotions made his skin bristle with cold, you were stormy, hurt, betrayed. Which he hadn't done, he responded, he'd done it to save you.

“How could you do that to me?" Your voice shook as you wiped away the tears creeping up in your waterline.

“Angel, I can't let you go out there and die. I'm just keeping you safe." He tried to get closer, if he could just touch you that could reassure you of his pure, loving intentions.

“You think I'm gonna be safe when you die out there and I'm stuck completely alone?"

“I won't die." His eyes were pleading and yours were full of a white hot rage he'd never had directed at him on full blast before.

“I went through all the same training as you, I am my own person, you don't get to make decisions for me.”

“I don't want to control you, I want to keep you safe." How could you not understand? He sighed and took a step closer, which you countered. "Honey, I don't doubt that you're getting better, but this is war and if something happens that makes you go off…” Like him dying, like you being out there with him when his soul left the binds of the planet. “You could be a danger to yourself."

“I’ll be a danger to myself here too."

“There are doctors here who can take care of you, sweet girl. Please, I love you and need you here." Finnick tried to ignore the pressure of tears building up.

“All they'll do is sedate me and I'll never recover. I have to go with you, Finnick, you can't let me rot away alone." You got closer, hands finding his face. He adored the feeling but he couldn't savor it when your eyes were digging into his, bargaining with the depths of his soul. Which would not bend, it couldn't fold to you, no matter how much he wanted to be attached to you for every waking and sleeping moment. You must have sensed this incoming rejection when your face became stony and your grip began to slip away.

He tried to pull your hands back towards him, to keep contact, “It's just a couple of weeks, then we'll be free. We can go home together, live our lives, and have our perfect family. Just one more thing I've got to do."

You fully pulled away and he grieved the loss of contact. "You're punishing me, for leaving you in the arena, you're trying to get back at me for it.”

He shook his head as quickly as he could, "No, I'm not. You were just trying to follow the plan, I don't have any grudge over that, sweet girl. You did what you had too.”

"Like how you're doing what you have too, now?” The air felt stagnant in the silence of the beat as you stared at each other. You stepped closer again, hands grabbing his arms, pleading. “I know I was terrible, that I'm terrible, but please don't punish me for it. Please, Finn, don't do this to me." His head ached, his heart ached, everything ached.

“You're not a terrible person, I love you, and you can't go."

“You promised me-" You choked for a second on the tears in your throat, “You promised you wouldn't leave me." He thought about how you'd done the same and hated himself for thinking it. That was the thinking you already assumed he had and that's what he had to fight against.

“I know and I'm sorry, honey. It won't be long." Once again you pulled your body away from his, you looked so betrayed that it felt like he'd been stabbed in the stomach. “I promise."

He felt like he watched something frightening click in your brain, “You promised last time too." Your voice was low before your hands started moving rapidly around while you spoke. “This is you trying to get into my head, they were right, but you're in my head instead. You're trying to psychologically get to me, oh my god, I get it now."

“No, no, no, no, no, no, honey, no. That's not real." Another step forward and you stumbled slightly as you quickly went backwards.

“Yes, you've been toying with me this whole time. That's why you keep pulling shit like this, you're trying to break me.” He was always digging himself into much deeper holes.

"Angel, I'm not. I'm trying to keep you safe. I swear, the stuff you're thinking, that's not true.” Your arms crossed around your chest. “This is why you can't go, this is dangerous."

“I'm not crazy!" You looked at the ground, shaking your head as the tears began falling.

He stepped closer, “Nobody's saying that, you're not crazy. I know that. You just need some more time."

“If I needed more time, why wouldn't you stay?" You pointed at him, “You are a fucking liar and I wish you'd just have killed me instead of playing mind games on me."

You moved around so frantically that he had no choice but to grab you and he wanted to die himself when you flinched and shrunk into yourself. “I don't want you dead. I'm keeping you safe, I know I lied, I didn't mean to and I am so, so sorry.” His own dam protecting him from tears had broken and he began to cry. "I will come back so we can be together forever because I love you, that's what's real. When I'm gone and you're confused, know for a fact that I love you.”

“You can't go. If you go, I have this horrible feeling something bad will happen. Please, Finn, just stay with me.” The way his chest squeezed with guilt was nearly unbearable.

"I have to go.” He whispered and the way you completely broke down made him wish he'd never gotten close enough to be the one who hurt you like this. He caught you before you hit the ground and held you close. "We have time, I've got you, sweet girl. It's okay.” He soothed, rubbing the top of your head, rocking you back and forth to try and call you down.

When it was finally time for him to, the doctors did have to sedate you. It left him with echoes in his ears of how pleaded with him and how you cried. The thought of how much he would really be betraying you if he died kept him going. Every step of the journey was thoughts of you, echoes of you. Wondering if you were still sedated and how he'd make it up to you when you could finally be together again. Free from the reign of the Capitol and together. At least you were safe in District 13, you'd be upset, but protected until the world was ready to stop reigning terror on the two of you. That was until Coin sent in the replacement members for the squad and Finnick was sure he would absolutely lose it when you and Peeta walked off the craft, straight into another set of trials and tribulations determined to tear apart his happiness.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

thank you all so much for reading and all the fun discussions we've been having about all the details, I love you all so much. as always likes, reblogs, comments, feedback is all very very appreciated. love you all so so much 💋

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[bookwormbynight]

please tell about your lawlight hades and persephone au 👀

Oh boy here we go lol.

Alright so its title was "Seasons Don't Fear the Reaper". The cast went like this:

Persephone (goddess of spring) - Light. He doesn't know his actual parents, probably gods, but honestly he could have also just been another instance of castrated-testicles-fall-into-the-sea-and-make-a-hot-person, fuck knows. Aphrodite found a very pretty baby and adopted him. He cultivates gardens because he connects better with plants than people, likes to experiment with it, and he's not really ever let out of the house, so he doesn't have anything better to do.

Hades (king of the underworld) - L. He's the king of the underworld by technicality, but he actually devotes himself to and is seen as the god of posthumous justice, because he likes to spend his time unwinding murders back to the living for fun. I'll talk more about underworld worldbuilding in a hot second. Also, L grabs Light because the Oracle said that Light was the one, and L was like “fuck it, he’s hot”. There’s really no feelings on either side at first.

Aphrodite (goddess of beauty, love, sex) - Misa. If you know Aphrodite myths, enough said.

Charon (guide into the underworld across the river Styx) - Watari. I haven't thought about him too much, I just want him there.

Thanatos (personification of death, god of the dying) - Ryuk. He's going to be Light's first friend in the underworld, because Light isn't gonna like L very much at first lmao. He's also the one who tells Light about The Rule.

I don't have a solid plot but here are some bullet points I got going for me:

Light hangs out with mother-approved naiad friends at the base of a waterfall for a bit, until he manages to slip away thanks to an intense storm. Unfortunately for his bid for independence, he gets entranced by a red tulip (plucked) in his path, and stops to examine it. From where the flower left the ground, a hole opens up, until it’s wide enough for L to fly out, scoop Light up, and drag him down to the Underworld.

Misa comes back to collect Light, and discovers that he’s disappeared. She flies into a horrible rage and turns all the naiads into sirens as punishment. You bet your ass she throws a tantrum and murders some nymphs and shit. Also she makes the entire animal kingdom infertile out of spite (she calls it mourning).

Light gets to hold Ryuk’s death scythe bc That Image (he has a fleeting thought to just fuckin take it and run)

A scene where Ryuk is eating apples in the garden, (talks about human world apples being better but), Light reaches for one, and then the exposition about the rule with underworld garden fruit (i.e. it binds you to the place) bc Ryuk is an asshole but a good frien :)

A scene where we acknowledge the fact that humans are using the nickname "L" to avoid calling the death god’s attention by using his true name… L (“what is L short for, anyway?” and L just gets the most shit-eating fucking grin because humans really fucked that one up and he thinks it's HILARIOUS). This is rooted in superstition that actually surrounded Hades and Persephone at the time the myths were formed.

Anyway Earth's going to shit because Duh, and Zeus (just called the King, only ever going to be mentioned and the reader will never see him) finally relents to what he views as Misa's temper tantrum, because sacrifices have stopped, and humans are panicking because no babies are being born and neither are any of the animals they work with. I'm thinking maybe after 7 months, because that's approximately how long Light and L interacted face-to-face total in canon. The King tells L to give Light the fuck back. L does not tell Light anything about any of this.

L discusses a plan with Watari after a week or so of keeping it from Light (Zeus is coming to get Light that day) - Light was eavesdropping. Obviously, this is an asshole move so Light fuckin socks L across the face, especially since they had been kind of falling in love yotsuba--arc stockholm-syndrome style, so it feels like betrayal even though it's not at all surprising.

MY FUCKING NOTES-- ONE LITERALLY SAYS "Rain scene(?) Can it rain in the Underworld??". I've decided yes it can because I need that. Another one says "When Light first got brought there his whole scheme was just to escap but oh nos! It backfired!" 😭 help

Light weighs his options while in a garden, realizes he doesn’t want to leave anyway, and remembers the foreshadowed thing Ryuk said about food grown in the underworld (L didn’t know about this rule - it’s Ryuk that’s the crazy fuck bringing non-dead souls into the underworld and vice versa, just because L doesn't leave the house enough to think of that). He plucks a pomegranate, eats some, and goes to L and demands that they bring him to Zeus when Zeus comes.

The Underworld:

Souls don’t go on living after death - that defeats the purpose of death. The underworld, or the land of the dead, just stores the souls, which would be everything that made up an individual, but the souls can’t be conscious or anything without a body because that’s the other half of what makes a person. Maybe the souls should be like dim little stars? According to this one website I found, souls supposedly went down there to slowly fade into nothingness. I guess they would disappear when there is nothing tethering them to the Earth any longer. Coco-style.

The underworld is also supposed to be UNDER the earth, but it also seems to be imagined in the modern day as vast, with high high high ceilings and lots of mist at the top ig, although it’s dark and shadowy.

THE FUCKING FLOWERS hoo boy are you ready for this shit I spent fucking ages researching flowers I could draw upon within the story because Light is a flower boy and then used NONE OF THEM because THIS is what made me lose passion about this thing but here you are:

Anemone (red) - tragic love (sprung from Aphrodite’s tears mixed with Adonis’s blood as she tried and failed to save his life)

Baby’s Breath - everlasting love, or new beginnings (really good for weddings and births)

Basil - murderous intentions, or romantic intentions (apparently it started as a symbol of hate in Greece because the name recalled a literal monster, implicitly cursing the Basilisk upon the person you sent it to, and then morphed into a declaration of an intent to marry in Victorian England - an enemies to lovers arc if I’ve ever seen one)

Belladonna - silence, death, poison

Blackthorn Blossom - this plant made up Jesus’s thorn crown, but the flowers are gorgeous

Camellia (red) - honorable death, or eternal love

Carnation (pink) - heartfelt gratitude and motherly love (given on Mother’s Day in the West)

Carnation (red) - love (common Mother’s Day gift in Japan but romantic in the West)

Cherry Blossom - rebirth, renewal, spring

Chrysanthemum (white) - death, mourning, grief, devotion, loyalty (funeral flower, especially for those who died young)

Daffodil - prosperity, or rebirth and spring, or regard and esteem (also called the narcissus)

Daisy - childhood, innocence

Hibiscus (red) - love, delicate beauty, brief existence (withers within a day of blooming)

Orchid - fertility, elegance, charm, beauty

Poppy - consolation, eternal sleep, peace in death

Rampion - the German word for the plant is ‘rapunzel’

Rose (red) - romantic love, desire

Rose (white) - innocence, virtue, purity

Spider Lily - final goodbye, death, funerals

Do you have any idea how much fucking time it took me to research these goddamn flowers fuck you Persephone and fuck you Light

Tulip (red) - a love confession, passionate love (apparently created from the blood of a Romeo-esq dude in Persia who committed suicide when he falsely believed his beloved had died)

Violet - watchfulness, modesty (created by Artemis to protect her nymph from Apollo’s advances)

[narcjsistx]

— 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐓 | Reo Mikage

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 4.9k (4964)

𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄: fluff / angst

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓: dreams that always seemed achievable don't always remain so. pro!player Reo Mikage, adult AU. mention of death, guns, suicide (not described and not heavy to read)

The air is tense, the whole stadium doesn't even dare to breathe. The few who speak do so to pray, pray that that damned goal enters the net and thus marks the team's victory. The most audible noise is that of football boots running on the green lawn, and of the hits the ball receives in the shooting area. Everyone trembles, even the security or cleaning workers who stopped only to witness the possible victory or defeat

The ball flies into the air, a member of the enemy team tries to catch it but it is promptly passed back by a teammate. Even the smallest second counts in matters like these, so all enemy defenders try to regain possession of the ball as quickly as possible. It's a matter of less than a second when someone emerges from midfield, shoes tightly tightened and a blue uniform dressed with honour

With a sharp kick, the ball ends up in the net without even giving the goalkeeper the chance to realize which direction it is coming from

The stadium explodes, the screams become even too loud for the human ear to bear. The winning team cries, everyone throws themselves on the person who kicked the winning goal: Reo Mikage, Japan striker and soon to be your future husband

You join in the screams, and the tears you had contained until then pour out like a raging river. Sitting in the stands dedicated to the players' families, you hug the jacket with the visible writing "Mikage #1 Fan" that you had taken off due to the heat. You look up at the field again and find your boyfriend's soft eyes staring at you: he looks at you in a special way, but with a look that is much more proud than any other time. His irises scream "Did you see? You're happy? Are you proud?" and you can't help but let out a nervous laugh as you wipe away your tears

From the large screen placed in front of you, Reo's goal is broadcast again, and immediately afterwards, a recording of your reaction is accompanied. You die of embarrassment, but after years of being his girlfriend you're used to things like this. While the cameras are still filming you and the screams are continuing, you come down from the stands quickly putting on your jacket; you jump the steps that separate you from the pitch and even before you get close to the net you find yourself in the arms of Reo, who has escaped from his teammates to run to you

You hold him tightly to you, while he surrounds your waist with his body now all wet with sweat. The purple hair plastered to his forehead and his still slightly short breath make him so damn cute that you're surprised not to find any small or hidden imperfections in him. Even after being engaded to him for 10 years, every day you fall in love with Reo Mikage again

"You were very good" you whisper, remaining hugged to him, feeling his body trembling with emotion "Really very good" you say, breaking away from his embrace, while he holds you close to him, placing his hands on your hips. You dry your tears laughing, but he moves your hand away and with a thumb he wipes away the last tears at the edge of your eyes "It's thanks to you. Knowing that you were here only gave me determination" he says, wiping away the last tear, to then place a sweet kiss on your forehead

"REOOOOOO" shouts one of his teammates, who motions for him to come to the center of the field where they are opening some sparkling wines. You laugh at the emotional faces of his colleagues, however you notice a bit of dissent on his face "What's bothering you now?" you ask, and he pulls you into another hug "I want to stay here with you" he sighs, and even though you want this too, you know he has to celebrate because he won a really important match "Don't worry. I'll wait for you here" you say caressing him sweaty hair, and even though he doesn't seem to agree, he accepts. You break away from the hug, but before you can even turn around he pulls you by the wrist and, placing his hand halfway down your back, kisses you. The stadium erupts into another roar, and the image of the hottest couple of the moment is broadcast on the arena's big screen

You place your free hands on his cheeks, smiling as he presses his lips to yours. He breaks away shortly after and without saying a word, he runs away with his teammate. You remain enchanted by the kiss for a few more seconds, but you immediately compose yourself, and with a feeling of lightness, you step aside a little. You enjoy his happiness from afar, the emotion that lives in him as he lifts the cup while he is at the center of his team, who celebrate him like never before. Today's match was particularly complicated, fortunately ending with a 6-5 after almost the entire second half of the game was characterized by yellow cards. Today's match brings home an old trophy that Japan hadn't won for 27 years, but thanks to your boyfriend, can once again say it's Japanese property

The players enjoy moments of happiness after 90 minutes, including 2 extra minutes, of pure agony. Immediately someone is picked up by journalists for the usual interviews, but a large part rushes towards Reo with microphones and cameras ready to record his words. You understand that at the moment you can't be with him because he will surely have to have some interviews, so you decide to take his bag from the side of the field and stand at the end of the crowd of journalists, who otherwise will crush you

"Anxious?" asks a voice you recognize well "Enough. You? You just won a game, Nagi" you say turning, where you find your boyfriend's best friend, who seems to have escaped from the journalists "Nothing overly exciting. I just sweated more than expected" he says doing a few close to you, taking Mikage's bag "I'll bring it to him when we go to the locker room, don't worry" he says, knowing you can't say no "Thank you, and above all... you were very good too" you say crossing arms, finally with free hands. The boy shrugs, then continues straight where a line of journalists begins to follow him. You giggle at the scene, and before you can notice, Reo steps forward into the crowd of reporters only to pull you by the wrist and make you come with him “What do you want to do?” you ask entering the crowd of people, who however let you pass quite a bit "My wife can participate in the interviews, right?" he says giving you a determined look, and your heart skips a beat at that moment

Reo had proposed to you about six months ago, and at the end of this month, you would have become husband and wife. You had been together since he was 19 and you were 18, having met thanks to Ego's strange experiment: you worked as Anri's assistant, and more than a few times you had happened to sneak from the control room to some training camp. You once came across a former teammate of his in training, who, seeing a woman after months of "prisoner" inside the Blue Lock, had had a rather excessive reaction. Hearing your screams as you ran into the training field while escaping from the boy who proclaimed a kiss, someone had decided to check what was happening: that someone was Reo

Reo had more or less calmed down his teammate, giving you the option to lock yourself in one of the locker rooms for protection. Once the boy left, Mikage came to the locker room to check on your condition and, despite knowing that it was not legal for you to be there, he asked Anri and Ego to have you checked by a doctor to make sure that you were okay. That was your first meeting 11 years ago, and throughout his stay at the Blue Lock facility, you communicated through letters you hid in the cafeteria. Knowing that you certainly couldn't meet him, you had hidden a letter of thanks in the tray that you knew would end up with him. A few days later, while cleaning the cafeteria under Anri's orders, you found a reply letter from him, hidden in the empty rice bowl. You had sent a letter again, hiding it in the tray, and he had replied to you again. This has been your method of communication for over two years, until his exit by elimination

From the first letter, you had started rooting for him in every match, and maybe for you it was even love at first sight. Reo was one of the last to leave the Blue Lock, but he was practically immediately taken into an equally strong Japan team, and then with a bit of luck, he still managed to join the official Japan team at the end. As soon as he left the facility, you introduced yourself to him, and after not even a few months of knowing each other, he was actually the one who asked you to be his girlfriend. You had been together for 10 years now and every day you were grateful that you had the chance to be with such a fabulous guy. You had met his parents almost immediately, and you were quite surprised to find out about his family's heritage, which Reo didn't show off out

Together, you arrive in front of the journalist's cameras, who welcomes both of you with a light smile. "What were we saying?" says the boy, holding you close, putting his arm around your shoulders "Oh, we were talking about the match. The goal was decisive for the team's victory, and the fact that it was scored by you, who at the moment is one of the most loved and followed, it makes the fans crazy about you" says the man holding the microphone "Even for me it is unthinkable to have made the winning move for such an important match, but I had already thought of having to do it today to dedicate it to her. The goal is for Japan, but above all for my wife" he says in one breath, and the cameras get closer and closer. The journalist bursts into genuine laughter, while your cheeks get a little redder at his words "Prove your power to your wife, huh? But if I'm not mistaken, your wedding is still a few days away" says the man, and Reo nods "The wedding will be on the 28th of this month, but I have considered Y/n my wife for a long time already. The wedding is just an excuse to see her in the white dress" he says jokingly, and everyone bursts in a laugh, including you "I understand. So we can already call you Y/n Mikage, miss?" the man says, shifting his attention to you "Oh, if you want to, do it. It pleases me enormously" you nod, and Reo kisses your hair delicately, and you can already imagine the myriad of edits you will see when scrolling through Tiktok or Instagram of this scene

"Well, I don't know what else to say other than to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. Are there any other plans in mind, work or personal?" the journalist asks, and at the same moment you and Reo turn to look at each other, a little thoughtful "Work... I think I'll continue with the Japanese team, I struggled to get into the team and above all I can't abandon my best friend and the other teammates alone... personal, in addition to marriage..." Reo says not really wanting to answer the question "We will have a family. We would like to have two or three children" you say answering the question. You know well that Reo didn't want to answer because neither of you had decided to tell the world, because you had talked about the 'children' issue relatively recently but you both agreed with the idea of ​​having them immediately after marriage "What she said" Reo says sighing, but with a smile on his face

The journalist nods, thanks for the time dedicated and leaves room for others, who would only like to have the same answers you gave to the man "Can you do me a favor? Can you waiting for me in front of the locker room? I should take a while and I know you won't particularly love answering the questions they ask you" he says while another journalist positions himself in front of you, with the microphone ready "Sure, see you there" you say, stepping aside, and you mentally thank him since sooner or later some journalist will ask you he would ask some strange question, as has already happened in some interviews where you appeared at the request of the television stations

Once you arrive at the door, you wait there for about twenty minutes. Some teammates start to enter, greeting you because they know you anyway. Nagi arrives after a while, with Reo's bag "He's still finishing the interviews, he told me it will take a while longer. Do you need a ride home?" the boy asks before entering the locker room "I want to wait for him, maybe I'll sit in the stadium cafeteria" you say shaking your hand, greeting him. Nagi nods and enters the room, and soon after, the rest of the players leave, and you hear them talking about a certain dinner

About another hour passes before you see Reo pop into the hallway. “Still here?” he asks, seeing you from afar, motioning for you to enter the locker room with him because he's the only one who still has to change "I waited" you say nodding, sitting on the central bench of the room, while your boyfriend opens his locker "It was more tiring answering everyone's questions rather than winning the game..." he says sighing, taking off his player t-shirt filled of sweat "I suspected it. Did they ask you any particular questions?" you ask as you see him grab a change of underwear, before also taking off his shorts and his underwear; although naked, you've seen him so many times that you're no longer surprised "Oh, one about marriage. They asked me if I forced you to marry me just to maintain a homosexual relationship with Nagi" he says rolling his eyes, entering the showers of the changing room. You burst out laughing at his answer, trying to avoid the tears caused by laughter "With Nagi? You should collaborate less on the field, then" you say passing him the bubble bath

"Ugh, don't make me think. When they asked me that question I didn't know whether to slap the reporter or not. Hell, I'm getting married in less than two weeks!" he says annoyed, pointing to the shampoo "These are questions made specifically to create hype, don't worry" you say passing him the shampoo, which he passes through his purple hair "Tired?" you ask, seeing him wash himself. “A little. But I think I have plans tonight, or rather, we have” he says, water splashing on him "What do you mean?” you ask in surprise "The team was talking about a possible dinner at a restaurant to celebrate the victory. Players and girlfriends included" he says turning off the shower jet on his hair to rinse it "Oh! I understand, some of them were talking about it when they came out of the locker room" you say remembering the boys who were talking about it earlier "I would like not to go and spend the evening at home, possibly in bed, but my father finances that restaurant... I think we have to go" he says sighing, wrapping a towel around his waist before getting out of the shower

"Okay. Do you know what time?" you ask crossing your legs “I think 10pm” you say as he dries himself off grabbing another towel. Reo puts on his underwear, his hair still a little wet and his chest clean and smelling good. You smile at him, motioning for him to sit on the bench "Rest a bit. I'll take care of the hair" you say, getting up, taking the hairdryer from the locker room, which you pass through your boyfriend's hair as soon as it's turned on. Reo relaxes as you run your hand through his hair, the warm air drying it quickly and making the room slightly warmer. You comb them delicately, and then put them in the little ponytail that he usually always wear

"Thank you" he says when he sees through the mirror of the room that you have done "You're welcome!" you say, leaving a kiss on his cheek. Before you can even break the closeness, he places his arm around your waist, holding you close to him; you place your hands on his bare chest and feel him relax a little as he hugs you "I can't wait for the wedding day" he whispers close to your ear, tightening his grip "The idea of ​​seeing you shine in your wedding dress, I can't get her out of my head. I've always been annoyed by crying in front of others but I think that day I'll care less than nothing" he says, leaving a few kisses on your neck, not in a lustful way, but rather in an affectionate way. You wrap your hands around his neck and let your bodies touch "Bride of the Mikage heir... I'll take your surname too, how strange" you say resting your forehead on his shoulder, with his chest heaving he lowers and raises slowly "Y/n Mikage. I could die, once everything is official" the boy says, and a small laugh spontaneously escapes your lips "And yet it will happen soon. What we have been planning since we got together so many years ago is about to happen" you say enjoying the contact with your future husband. This time Reo is the one chuckling, as he breaks away for a few moments just to look at your face "I may not be the strongest attacker in the world, but I think I won in another way" he says, and you look at him fascinated, affectionately throwing him a cheek "You are also the strongest striker in the world!" you say scolding him ironically, and both of you can't help but laugh

A few hours pass before you both find yourself at the entrance of the luxurious restaurant, chosen by the team coach. You shine in your long pearly white dress, adorned with a fur of the same color. Arm in arm with you is obviously Reo, who instead opted for a black suit. A crowd of photographers and more journalists fills the sides of the restaurant avenue, creating a crowd with also several fans. Reo greets everyone and more than a few people ask for his autograph, which he signs extremely quickly. Some fans greet you too, and you happily return the greeting: fortunately, Reo's fanbase loves you, or rather, loves your couple. You are trending on any app due to the news of the wedding, and every day you are happy to see the positive comments on social media under the posts dedicated to Reo's career, to you, or to your couple

The restaurant is one you already know because of Mikage's father, who let you dine in there, knowing the owner, for some dates or family reunion that you also attended. An entire room, larger than the house you used to live in before living with Reo, was taken over solely to hold all the players and their partners. You know some of the girlfriends of Reo's other colleagues, that you greet with a wave of the hand or by talking to those with you have familiar. Everyone present sits at the seats placed along the entire table, and you end up between Reo's seat and that of Honna, a girl wherewith you have a good relationship

The dinner proceeds peacefully, filled with the various toasts that the table makes for the team's upcoming victories. One topic that often comes up is your marriage, and both you and Reo are a little embarrassed to have to answer all the questions, but you know that people ask them with good intentions and not with malice

The evening drags on, and it's already past one in the morning when, by chance, you see some waiters passing by your table with some security guards. You're a little perplexed, and Reo seems to notice. "Did something happen?" he asks, leaning towards you a little more "I don't know. It's strange that some security guards passed..." you say thoughtfully, seeing how some of them have just closed the door of the room where you are. Reo turns around, also noticing the strange movement "I noticed" he says, returning to look at the movement near the door "Wait here" he says, and then asks Nagi and another teammate to get up with him. You watch him get up with the two boys, and with a slow pace they approach the door, where a couple of waiters have positioned themselves. You try to reassure yourself that it's just your stupid paranoia, so you calmly go back to the topic you were talking about with Honna. You spend more than 5 minutes talking, but Reo doesn't seem to come back: you turn around and he's still talking to the waiters, but why doesn't he come back? What are they talking about that makes the waiter seem so worried?

You apologize to Honna and get up, walking towards your boyfriend. The closer you get, the more you hear words you don't like, but you think they've simply changed the topic. You come up behind Reo, and gently tug at his jacket sleeve to get his attention "Hey" you say, and he turns around; his face looks very worried "Is something happening?" you ask. The boy looks down, sighing as he runs a hand through his hair "There's some problem outside the restaurant, some fans of the opposing team are making a mess..." he says, biting his lips. You look at him a little perplexed "Is it serious? You seem worried" you ask "The police are coming because they suspect he has a weapon, but it wouldn't be anything serious. He can't enter the restaurant with all that security" he says trying to smile, but you understand that he's only doing it so you don't worry "Reo, shouldn't we be leaving? We ask to leave through the back door of the kitchen..." you ask, resting your head against his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around your waist "Don't worry. It's nothing serious, really" he says kissing your forehead

Back at the table, however, your mind is a tangle of thoughts. In a remote corner of your mind, you think that the man's goal is Reo himself: after all, he kicked the decisive and victorious goal, and thanks to him if the enemy team lost. You tell yourself that these are useless worries, but you can't calm down. The dinner continues as if it were nothing, and no one has warned of the man's presence, probably kept secret from the team so as not to trigger unnecessary alarms. You sigh continuously and play nervously with the fabric of the tablecloth, trying to appear calm when you're not even a little. "Darling" he says suddenly grabbing your hand, massaging the palm gently "If you're not calm, let's go. I ask to get a taxi to pass as soon as possible and let's go home" he says as he continues to massage your hand, getting down on the thigh. You nod, and while Reo apologizes to the others for leaving so suddenly, you put your fur coat back on

He takes your wrist loosely, guiding you towards the exit where you know he'll ask to go through the kitchens. You breathe a sigh of relief knowing you're finally leaving, but you hear a window glass shatter. The whole room including you turns towards the main noise, where, scattered between the glass, a man is lying curled up on the floor

Many players and partners stand up, and you feel Reo's grip pushing you a little further behind him, behind his back. Everyone observes the man with a few pieces of glass stuck in his skin, and some waiter rushes towards the unknown person, and before anyone even realizes it, a gun is noticed hidden between his trousers and shirt

“Fuck" Reo says, placing a hand on your head to pull you down. Your breath catches in your throat when you see the weapon, pulling your boyfriend as far as you can under the shelter of a vase “Oh my god” you say panicked, starting to tremble. The man moves all the waiters who go against him, and more than a slight glance at the other players, his attention is completely captured by Reo. The emblem clearly visible on the man's shirt is that of the team that lost today

"Please, hide yourself better near the vase" you say again behind his back, but Reo only dismisses you by keeping an arm around you, keeping you firmly covered "Don't move" he orders you as he tries to hide you. The trembling is also joined by tears, which fall silently due to panic "Reo please listen to me, hide" you say practically begging him, but he doesn't seem to give in "Don't worry, put yourself here" he says, forcing you under the protection of vase. You hold his arm close to you, crying into it “I'm fine" he says, turning away for a second, but it doesn't take long before his body jolts suddenly

A little further away, the man with the gun pointed at your boyfriend, fires the shot. The bullet runs fast, landing precisely against Reo's back. Your boyfriend freezes, moving his pupils towards his chest where the tip of the bullet exits his chest. Your mind stops at the precise moment Reo gasps, and still in shock, his body ends up against yours. You find Reo's head on your shoulder, your chests against each other where you feel your dress quickly getting stained with blood. His blood

“Oh my god...” you say not daring to look down where your boyfriend is “Oh my god...” you say louder as your breathing becomes erratic. You dare to look at your boyfriend for just one second, and it's enough for you to burst into a desperate scream as you try to fix him in front of you. "REO!" you scream holding his cheeks, moving your hands to his shoulders “REO DAMN ANSWER ME” you scream even louder, but his gaze seems completely blank. Your gaze wanders between his face, the wound that's getting bigger and bigger, and the way he's slowly breathing more and more laboriously

You tremble like a wet dog, trying to stay calm because you know it's the only thing you can do at the moment "Reo, please, answer me" you say shaking him slightly, but beyond a light batting of his eyelashes, no reactions come from him. The world falls on you the moment you see his chest swell in a last desperate attempt to breathe. "Reo I'm begging you, give me a sign that you're okay" you say as you observe him, and the more seconds pass, the more you feel that your boyfriend is abandoning you. Out of nowhere a small smile appears on his lips, he closes his eyes and with difficulty moves closer to your ear

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I really do, darling. Thank you for making me so happy when you gave me the chance to be your husband"

Reo utters words before collapsing onto you, with his head on your shoulder. His chest no longer moves and you no longer hear his heart beating

You remain paralyzed, your hands unable to touch his back. You stop breathing the same moment Reo leaves. The heaviness of the world falls on you, and in passing, you momentarily see before you a possible scene that could soon have happened: you and Reo with two wedding rings on your fingers, while you have children around you who laugh and play peacefully

You explode into a desperate scream, calling the name of your now dead husband. You look for signs of life in his face, but what you see is only horrible death; you hold him close, bursting into desperate tears. Everyone is probably watching you, even your lover's killer. The pain you feel in this moment is unlike any in the world: it is a wound that is not yet finished, which is slowly tearing your flesh apart while it enjoys your torment, and you already know that even if it never heals, it will never be completely healable

Morning newspaper: Tokyo Today News - 28/08

Journalist: "Y/n Y/s, girlfriend of the recently deceased Reo Mikage, heir to the Mikage fortune and important player of the Japanese team as a striker, was found dead this morning. The woman left a letter specifying that she took her own life because she has been empty since the day she lost her lover. If they were both alive, they should have gotten married today... line to the studio, stay tuned for the next news"