#and because character dynamics are awesome
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Thiiiiiiiiiisssss. Like, being completely honest, a lot of the issues we've been complaining about have pretty much always existed in the show--they've just been covered up by the really awesome character dynamics. Like--okay, when I was in college my dad and his wife bought a house that had been owned by an eccentric retired English professor and he'd done up his living room to look like a Shakespearian-era theater. I'm not exaggerating. The walls were painted to look like curtains, there were wall sconces with torchlight lightbulbs, there were murals, there were fucking GARGOYLES, it was amazing. And then my dad's wife painted over all the artwork and murals and took down the cool sconces and the gargoyles and let me tell you, EVERY flaw in that room became obvious. There were cracks in the walls, the baseboards were crooked, the lighting was really poor, the floorboards had water damage. None of which had been noticeable before because you walked in and it was like walking onto the set of a period drama. Anyway--it really feels like the show has lost what made it special this season because we hardly see the mains that we all fell in love with interacting, and all the beautiful details and side characters that made it interesting are just...not there. The flaws in the design are made more obvious because there's nothing else to draw the eye.
HenRen are sidelined like they're always sidelined except for child drama, but we don't have Hen and Chim bestieism to distract us from that fact.
Bobby and Athena are not addressing any of the issues in their marriage like they never do, but we don't have Bobby aggressively dad-ing everyone around him or Athena being a badass WITHOUT blatantly abusing her badge or sweet moments with Harry and May to distract us.
Buck is emotionally intelligent and mature until the story requires him to be an idiot who has the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone, like always but now we don't get to see him be smitten with his boyfriend or have beautiful moments with Chris or Maddie or Eddie to distract us (the scene with Jee was great and a perfect distraction...for the thirty seconds it lasted)
Eddie is three life-altering traumas in a trench coat pretending to be a functional human being like he always is, but now there's no Chris scenes to distract us.
There's just flat out no Ravi, May, Sue, etc to add to the scenery to distract us. And sorry, Brad is a piss-poor substitute.
This got way longer than I intended, but I'm really just so disappointed that in the face of *makes vague gesture at the state of the world* my comfort show has jumped on the general trend of "what is the absolute least we can give the consumer before they rebel?"
Like, we have PROVEN that we will forgive many, MANY flaws in the story for these characters...but they're not giving us the characters!
So yeah, there's cracks in the walls, the baseboards are crooked, and there's waterstains on the floor.
i think so many of the current problems in 911 could be fixed if they’d just let the characters have actual conversations with each other like they used to
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i cannot express just how grateful i am that the devs decided to make rook so unique, in almost all areas of the game
like, obviously it's not da origins level, because that was a miracle in of itself and might never be repeated, but it's still so commendable, especially if we fairly compare it to inquisition
because think about it. we get like, what, six or seven faction backgrounds that you get to choose, and then you get a special relationship with people inside that faction? are you fucking kidding me that's awesome. not only that, but we also get a background, we get to know what our rook did before the events of the game, and we can decide how they react to it. do they feel remorse? regret? freedom? sure, you may need to add a little bit of context yourself for some factions, but that's the fun part! you get to make a little guy and develop them in your head! you're building them in-game
not to mention the combat and skill system of the game. there're seven companions and they all have their classes, and you can pick between two styles of fighting (except for rogue i guess, kind of) and your spec ties into a faction. you feel very unique because you can just be whatever and no other companion will repeat after you (or you repeat after them)! isn't that neat!
compare that to inquisition. who tf is your inquisitor. they're literally just a Guy (gender neutral). when you pick a spec they're all the same as your companions. how is this in any way making my inquisitor stand out. they're just a vessel, an empty plot device. they walked into a room and people pushed them into being a religious leader. it literally could have been anyone else. the only interesting choice i remember from inquisition that actually made me remember that they're a person is when you talk with casssandra about whether or not you believe in god. that's it
you become a symbol in 1/3 of the game. you aren't a person, your decisions matter to the whole world now, and you can't be biased about it. the game wants you to be analytical, but it doesn't want me to act like my character, i'm basically playing a Build Your Own Empire simulator
so don't you even start telling me rook isn't interesting, or that they're nobody. they have a story, a pre-existing one, but a story nonetheless. just like hawke does. we're roleplaying a specific character, and if the game does most of the work - that's fine by me, i'll just fill in the gaps and make my rook feel richer and have interesting dynamics with the veilguard. if you can't imagine your rook in Situations, i'm so sorry for you, because i'm having so much fun with them
#i think i got a little heated at the end but fuck some takes really pissed me off#i think you really should use your imagination with rook but the game Gets your there#i have never been as attached to a personal oc as i have to rook in rpgs#and i love seeing everyone's rooks too bc everyone has such an interesting story for them#you know how mediocre media brings the best in people. thats whats happening here#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#datv#dragon age rook#rook#uh. i dont remember what tags people usually use whatevr#mine#soups walkie talkie
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Angst idea
From my other post about a Diona Bennett sibling dynamic, what if Bennett had a betrayal with Diona, something similar to what happened with Diluc and Kaeya ( anybody got ideas Im kinda stuck with that)
Here’s the thing whatever happens next is very not good. Diona reacts similarly to Diluc, Bennett loses his little sister and this time its not his bad luck but himself that hurt someone. Or if it wasn’t his fault the self hatred would completely rise as he hurt another person he cares about when he didn’t mean to. And for Diona who has finally been able to open to someone older than her that she can trust she now feels completely destroyed and utterly confused with emotion. To her was Bennett a big brother and helped her life get better because he was genuinely good? or was it to hide the betrayal or hurt her more
Or if she reacts by forgiving and caring for Bennett holy shit the ragbros would see that and feel a total whiplash of emotions. Not to mention its history repeating in any way possible for them. And I have a feeling they’d be the ones helping pick up the pieces after a fight
Sorry if this is structured weird just my weird and angsty ideas. If anybody has ideas lemme know
#genshin impact#Diona#Bennett#Diluc#Kaeya#ragbros#I made this post for history repeating angst reasons#and because character dynamics are awesome#Genshin#angst#diluc ragnivindr#kaeya alberich
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Not sure if someone has asked this but what do you think of poly bright lights!?
awesome but you guys gotta change the name cuz im gonna start assuming all of the bright lights is one big polycule
#pankie ask#you guys need to start referring to the “core lights” as the flying buddies come on. looking at the entire fandom here#they literally have a term!!! flying buddies is those four guys that's the name of their lil group!! lb calls all of them that#idk call it polybuddies. freaking awesome right#Actual opinion is I dont think about it much but its really cool and i like their dynamics with eachother#and i keep drawing those four because theyre in close proximity to fan#and their dynamics with him is really fun#I am not immune to popular characters
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@caiteaz i was going to make this a reply but then it ran away from me, so sorry for the delayed response!
first up i just want to say that your interpretation of them a brotherly relationship is awesome and i love it. when all is said and done i'm personally open to really any interpretation of their dynamic, ultimately they are fictional characters and we have better things to do than argue over fake people. that's part of why i kept the romance mention in the tags rather than in the post itself
that said i am one of the people on the romance train so. i will explain my take on it!
realistically i think the main reason erik/the daroga as a ship exists is because of the susan kay novel. idk if you've read it but they are. very gay in that. it's been a while since i read it, but if i remember right at one point erik nearly steals diamonds--aka the stuff they make wedding rings out of--to give them to nadir (the daroga's name in this version). and then i remember VERY vividly erik even ponders if nadir is going to be his lover but then decides nah because erik can't comprehend the concept of bisexuality (despite clearly being open to the concept himself)
also more obscure but beloved by me if nobody else, there's the 1991 musical where the daroga swoops in at the end, plants himself on erik's bed, tries to comfort him because he's sad about christine leaving, then talks about how he's followed erik from the ends of the earth and will continue to follow him until the end of time. and then they smile and clash swords together (this is not a euphemism but sounds like it)
but in terms of the leroux novel, then for me the romantic interpretation of erik/the daroga comes from two approaches: fun reading-between-the lines of their interactions, and speculating the concept of such a relationship based on the characters themselves
from the between-the-lines approach, in the leruox novel they're antagonistic, but close. they feel almost like exes who are still kind of a little in love with each other, but also broke up for really good reasons, but also still understand each other better than everyone on the planet. i don't even read them as exes, i just think they have the vibe all on their own because their chemistry is so fun
basically, they annoy each other, but also clearly still care about each other. from erik's side of things, he doesn't drown the daroga in the lake (but is very okay drowning anyone else), and when he's at death's door at the end it's the daroga he goes to so he can tell him what happened with christine and get help fulfilling his burial wishes. and the daroga, despite literally losing everything and being exiled from his homeland because of erik, still follows erik to paris and keeps in touch with him and stalks him, really, the way erik stalks christine. (i'm a simple person, i see any parallels between same-gender relationships that are totally not romantic and hetero ones that totally are and i immediately raise my speculative gay eyebrow)
and obviously there's multiple ways that kind of relationship can be interpreted. i don't even know if leroux intended for us to read them as friends considering the daroga repeatedly calls erik a monster and they clearly get on each other's nerves. this is why i have a second approach, speculating on the concept of them
like, think about leroux erik. he desperately wants to be loved but also his relationship with christine is super unhealthy. i mean... someone who knows what he looks like and what horrors he is capable of and who still hasn't abandoned him despite losing everything for him is RIGHT THERE
and the daroga. he literally saved erik's life ages ago and never seems to regret it no matter how much evil erik commits. prior to christine's kiss, the daroga seems to have an recognition of erik's inherent worth as a human being when no one else does, even with all the times he calls him a monster. he wants erik to be alive and wants him to be happy, but also knows when to step in because he's gone too far. also he himself is an outsider in paris because he is an immigrant who is distrusted by the people around him because of his appearance, giving him a degree of empathy for what erik has been through as an "other." (i would argue christine also has this potential because she's swedish and this is even why she and the daroga are the two people able to get the most close to erik, but that's another post)
even if all that's not romantic love that's still got to be some kind of love. and considering romantic love and the so-called "intrinsic need" for it is a huge part of the novel, the romantic interpretation just makes sense theme-wise
anyway. sorry for the long post but i hope that answered your question. like i said, that's just my take. i'm sure others have different opinions because art is wonderful and subjective that way
the relationship between erik and the daroga is great because while yes, erik is the bane of the daroga's existence, the daroga is EQUALLY obnoxious to erik. for every gray hair the daroga receives from erik causing mayhem, erik receives one split end of what little hair he has left from the daroga stalking his house, butting his nose into his private life, and all around being a major buzzkill by reminding him of promises he made forever ago like "no more murders" or whatever
#screaming into the void#the void screams back#poto#media analysis for me and me alone#other reason: i am gay and love overanalyzing things and as such love reading gay relationships into fictional people#So Why Not
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Anatomy practice under the cut. Referenced Conan comics as usual.
#anatomy prepwork for some chapter preview drawings :^)#i really love using conan as reference because#well first off conan's build is exactly what i envision for simon#but also all of the recurring characters are scantily clad#which is just awesome to get a sense of proportion without clothing obstructing the view of it#also the poses can be very dynamic!#which is difficult for me to work with sometimes because of my limited skillset but#hopefully ill get better with time#i still have so much to improve on but#i haven't drawn for what feels like forever so this was nice#my art
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Me while watching Jujutsu Kaisen
#I thought this was funny#literally every few scenes one of the characters has freakishly huge hands#and not just because of a point of view (well sometimes but there’s a reason when it is)#and no i’m not just talking about patch face himself#hehee i’m almost finished with it#also i’m obsessed with the villain hero dynamic in this show#not to mention the animation is awesome#guys how did i write a paragraph in tags#oops#jujutsu kaisen
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those r all so funny im guffawing helpp 😭😭 they’re all gonna die 💔
transmigrator riko transmigrator neil and transmigrator nora sakavic (she’s neil’s fbi agent)
#ultimately its just so funny when normal ppl have to go through the plot of aftg.#neilriko who are normal men for the most part having to beef knowing theyre both transmigrators and have no choice:#U KNOW?#also something so funny and metabreaking to be a real person interacting with Characters#at what point does transmigrator riko start seeing kevin and jean as real people? does he ever?#does transmigrator neil see mary as a person or a character? she still holds all the power over him#and the threat on his life is very real#but he knows he is a character in a story and that he wasn’t originally#so does the risk even Sink in until they have an actual run in and almost die???#U KNOW???#and im obsessed w this pc dynamic because riko literally isnt riko. so should he#be blamed for the original riko’s actions?#but he has to act like riko. and he has to break kevin’s hand to progress the plot#is it better or worse if transmigrator riko treats kevin better and then breaks his hand?#is it better or worse that the transmigrator starts treating jean like a person after the original did what he did?#ITS REALLY AWESOME ACTUALLY#svsss autism is so real#asks#riko#neil
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Update on how reading Thrawn: Alliances is going
I am s t r u g g l i n g to finish it..im barely past halfway
#to those of you who warned me..i should have listened to you#yall were right it really isnt the same as that first book#i'm still gonna finish it though because i have the uncontrollable need to learn everything i can about my hyperfixations#i really like the clone wars era flashbacks...but every time it switches back to the empire era stuff i get bored and put it down#so far my favourite parts have been:#anakin being a dumbass trying to hide the real nature of his relationship with padme from thrawn#vader being a dumbass worrying about whether or not thrawn knows he is anakin#vader being a delusional dumbass referring to anakin as a separate person even IN HIS MIND#vader shutting down every mention of anakin by just saying#anakin skywalker is dead#and thrawn being like#sure jan#the chapters ive liked the most though are the ones from padmes pov....i wish there was more of that#anyways im 60% in and i have 9 days to finish it :)#also the further i get into this book the more i miss eli#i still think thrawn is an awesome and super interesting character#but man i miss his dynamic with eli#thrawn#thrawn: alliances#darth vader#anakin skywalker#padme amidala#palpatine#the clone wars#thrawn: alliances spoilers#thrawn novels#star wars novels#eli vanto#mitth'raw'nuruodo#chiss ascendancy
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Episode one of Supernatural is so flawed that, had I watched it for the first time last night (instead of for the third), I would not have have watched the second. Ever. The flaws are things I simply didn't pick up on when I was thirteen, and memory glazed over with emotional attachment. I understand why these flaws are there, what the writers tried and failed to do through clumsy dialogue and strange character decisions. There's no subtlety. Everything Sam says is direct exposition, specifically the things that he would not have to say to his brother.
I do not do reviews so that's all I'm going to say.
#But who would I be if I had not watched supernatural?#I wouldn't be on tumblr for one#not in the same way that I am#Perhaps I would like different shows because the part of Supernatural that still appeals to me now is the queerbaiting#The blatant queerbaiting#the fact that they never get together#the weird way that excessive misogyny creates homoerotic subtext#that's what captures my interest as a viewer#which is problematic or whatever idk i think the show would have been less interesting as a romance#the most interesting part of the show to me by far is dean's character#and part of his character when read as a suppression of homosexuality simply would not work if the show didn't queerbait#also fun headcanons i hold for characters (like trans/bi dean) are separate from how i would actually analyse the actions of dean#i don't think dean is trans i don't think his character reflects a trans narrative#but i make him trans in my fanfic because i can#and i enjoy exploring that potential interpretation of his character even if i don't agree with it necessarily#i'm better at explaining this in person but I watch hannibal and Supernatural over shows with actual representation in them#because it's frequently a more interesting dynamic as someone who doesn't actually enjoy watching romance#this is not to say i don't watch things with queer characters in them and that I don't love to see representation#i nearly cried when the doctor and rogue kissed#and i don't cry for tv shows#i get incredibly excited and happy to see queer representation in anything at all even if i'm never going to watch it#i'm so so happy that shows like heart stopper exist and are popular and mainstream#that's fucking awesome!#but i'm not gonna watch a queer romance for the same reason i'm not gonna watch a straight romance#it's boring once they get together#and i do want to mention that in my head there is a distinct difference between a romance and characters who are together#like hiccup and astrid isn't a romance they are two characters that get together in a story about friendship and standing up for yourself#and others and also it's about fucking dragons put whatever you want in there i will watch it if it's about dragons.#but stoic and valka is a romance BUT THEY DON"T END UP TOGETHER#spn
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in honor of the tpot short with the failed debuters (assumedly) being announced soon heres my tierlist of all the tpot debuters most favorite to least
tags for longer opinions :3
#i dont really hate any of them and avocado is just down there because I kind of enjoy everyone else more . The only I feel like . Any kind+#+of Real negativity at all to are nonexisty and 9ball#nonexisty because fuck off and 9ball because that’s just 8ball but different gimmick . And 8ball is already not the best imo#tpot#happy taggy got in bc they n winner were my favorites . I have my reaction to taggy getting in recorded I love taggy a lot#what can I say im a :3 girl#i like leek because it’s a plant also they put a hatsune miku ref in the episode with the flip phone triple baka#pda is a device which is always awesome forever and it looks like theyr gonna have a role in the short which is :DDDDDD#onigiri is fun because it’s a fun romaji . it would also be funny if they called em jelly donut . but onigiri is cool they look like+#+a rocky clone Maybe or if they’re just mute hey I Really Like Mute Characters So Win. cause I Think they were the only one who didn’t+#+speak in the episode . Don’t take my word for it I haven’t watched tpot 1 in a while lol (I think boom mic didn’t speak either actually)#boom mic; clapboard; and camera I speak as 3 together . Theyre super awesome and it would be fun to see if they have a dynamic . Cuase+#+theyre like . All movie equipment . Idk I remember long back ago i roleplayed em they mean a lot to me#i like tha vhsy a little more because reminds me of that freak from TAOT who i just adore . Also novel rectangular thing also kind of prett#tape friend looks like a menace and I like characters that are menaces I think them and six could be friends#sink I just like the design of lol . also I like the song kitchen sink by tøp#salt lamp is cool because I like salt lamps and they’re pretty colors both on and off#shopping cart is silly . I like wheeled characters#blender is an appliance I like how they did the asset#discy’s prettyyyy colored#battery is small and cute they also might be the mute character idr I haven’t seen them talk personally . Feel free to correct me if any+#+info I say here is wrong btw#Snare drum is small and cool and I like how they look#Anchor is also I like how they look also listen to anchor by caize#shell is like emo and a good shape#rubber spatula; scissors; tax guy I forget their name; and shampoo I think have good designs#avocado im so sorry I just like everyone else more than u im not the biggest fan ever of things like donut mouth#and I already explained the last 2 awesome 👍
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i feel weird and self conscious about my art again. sigh
the entire post ended up in thw tags ohb my god
#imptxt#ill talk about it more here#i do actually really like my art overall#i love my artstyle a lot it's so fun! lineless art awesome yay ^_^#i also really like the fact that i can very easily make super experimental art without feeling. bad or something.#BUT#i started drawing later than a lot of other people i guess. i haven't drawn since i was born i started drawing on aj when i was 9/10#and i didn't ever use references when i was younger which has made me incredibly. anxious about using them now :(. doesn't help that i am-#genuinely scared of using human refs because. i feel like they're staring at me#ive been seeing a lot art by people who are the same age as me or younger recently which is. technically a lot better than me currently#like. skills wise or whatever#and the ideas ive been having in my head have also become a lot more. out of my comfort zone/abilities#which is making me feel like i have to improve but. i don't really feel like it at the same time. i just want to have fun#but. i also want my art to be more interesting and dynamic anf just. Cool i want to have cooler art.#i haven't really used any tutorials but. None of them are really just. suitable for me from what i can tell??? idk man. different artstyles#to the one i have.#it's. it sucks.#i hate it.#sigh#ive also been feeling more guilty about yhe art i post recently???#idk. it feels repetitive and i don't want that. sigh.#i also wanna draw backgrounds man i love backgrounds but they're difficult#nothing is stopping me from doing that tbh. i just. have been very focused on drawing characters and ive been lazy with them#thankfully background refs aren't difficult for me to use.#ouuuhggvgg art js a Fuck why do i do it#(it's so fun hats why)#helllk wajt i just realised the reason why this is happening is because the thing im reading has fucking banger art#You Fucker. whatever you're forgiven god your art is so goals hs.#maybe i can. hm#AART YAY!!!!
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"mxtx's brain was meant for writing epic political intrigue if only it wasn't stuck in a fujoshi's body"
she did. three times. and yes im counting svsss. people discounting the absolute masterful commentary that made me near throw up with how haunting her narratives are, just because the leads are lgbt? color me shocked. did people...... miss everything?
"mxtx could've made sy top if she wasn't a coward"
imagine mxtx diverging from the boring ass top!teacher/bottom!student that people can read by the dozen instead of whining about sv, imagine mxtx giving the people their coveted crybaby puppy younger top, only for people to go "BOOO we want the boring way!!! give us the snoozefest or you're a coward!!!"
boggles my mind
#ro talks#i saw the first take months ago but it still floors me#like mxtx is by no means perfect... there's the casual racism (banyue/sv demon culture)#and she could flesh out her female charas and center them a bit more etc#but like. the fanbase is huge for a fucking reason. it being that her novels are fucking awesome#so ignoring ALL THAT just because she had the characters fuck (as is her fucking right) is just galling#also the thing where ppl cal her trope subversion 'cowardice' or 'fujo fixed dynamic obsession' is funny lol#she cant have possibly put thought into that like she did the other aspects of her stories :o unthinkable#anyway hope ppl learn to enjoy whatever fanon they like without needing it to be canon or superior to canon. love and peace xoxo#(these arent nearly all the iffy mxtx takes ive seen but ive raged enough for now lmao)
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There's a chance we might not have a session for Rook's campaign this weekend, and if we don't I'm going to be gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. I need to play out what happens next. I've spent every night since Sunday daydreaming about it until I fall asleep, and I'm going to continue to do so until we play the session. (and even probably afterwards, knowing me.)
At least we're most likely having a session on Friday, and we get to meet the new character... (RIP Clem.) They're an Undead Warlock / Tragedy Bard, and they're gonna be fucking AWESOME, I can't wait.
#morrigan.text#tragedy bard is SUCH a wild and fucked-up subclass in the best way. I love it.#I'm so pumped for this character to get to level 14 in bard so they can use Nimbus of Pathos on me (the barbarian/fighter).#it's gonna be so sick.#and undead warlock is awesome ofc.#honestly any warlock subclass is awesome if only because of the fun storytelling potential#(warlocks are my favorite class conceptually though not mechanically.)#I just love the idea of having a patron and all the fun and complicated dynamics a character can have with said patron.#so many delicious scenarios.
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[Image ID: a lineup of 4 non-player characters from my D&D campaign. from left to right. first is a tiefling with orange-red skin, short brown hair, and grey eyes. their left horn is broken. they wear a black cloak, brown leather armour, striped pants and are holding a hunting knife. next is a half-elf man with dark brown skin. his dark brown hair has a grey streak and he is holding a cane. He has two designs. the first wears a black coat, grey pants, white gloves, and little round glasses. the second is a ringmaster-style costume: green tailcoat with silver embroidery, white pants, and he's also wearing some pale blue eyeshadow. In both his shoes are splattered with blood. Next is a white human man with white hair and red eyes. He wears a black suit with red lapels and a grey waistcoat. He is holding a wooden stake. Lastly, a human woman with brown skin and hair. Her eyes are red and she wears a white collared shirt with poofy sleeves and a long grey skirt. She has a chatelaine. They are all standing in a row against a grey background. End ID]
lineup for a dnd campaign heavily based off of curse of strahd. left to right: ezra d'avenir, dr. rudolph van richten, rictavio, lon godfrey, moira godfrey
#ezra is a revamp van richten is the Same and lon+moira are original but inspired by dracula.#dnd#dungeons and dragons#art#artists on tumblr#dnd npcs#ocs#<-sure? whatever#curse of strahd#not a fan of the guy (strahd) myself. he's dead in my version and its a whole thing#Anyways really happy with rictavio/van richtens designs esp his face and hair. not so happy with ezra but I'm satisfied enough.#kind of obsessed with their dynamic. very fun to write because van richtens fucked up but means well really but has a weird definition of#meaning well. and ezra is like the kid whos unpacked a lot of the baggage they got from her parent and no longer sees the parent as remotel#good. which fucks with van richten because he very much wants to be a good parent after losing his family. so its interesting#also im such a sucker for reveals so obviously van richtens disguise thing piqued my interest. his commitment to the bit is so funny to me.#if the players dont figure it out im going to cry /j#but fr his design is fun because he has to be believably a silly storytelling ringmaster guy but also a Renowned Monster Hunter so I have t#capture that duality and hidden side. hes constantly keeping secrets and acts manipulative a lot so he's a mysterious person which was fun#to work on. details like the blood splatter and him only wearing silver and the makeup are just awesome to me. god I love character design.#minor blood tw#knife tw#ALSO did similar things with the godfreys who are secretly vampires. details like their hands being triangle shape language wise than the#rest of them or them only having gold jewelery/metals are meant to clue people into that nature. i think the red eyes were a little to far#maybe. might change that one detail or simply omit it from their verbal descriptions until its the correct dramatic time to.#ravania tag
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Encase anyone was wondering why I’m blogging at 6 in the morning, yesterday was not a good day for me and I forgot to sleep.
#Emile's Arts#Mario quickly becoming the go To Comfort Character#An INTERESTING development for me at 23 years old#People are SCARY man that's. That's the lesson of yesterday#People are very very scary even when they're not meaning to be#Anyway I'm fine NOW#And I was never in a situation where this kind of reaction was deserved#I'm just a coward#Me at Mario at 4am because we both have anxiety based insomnia#The only Mental illness Luigi DOESN'T have he's out like a rock in his own bed#This is my SECOND polycule where the dynamic is;#Trauma based Insomnia + Nightmare Based Insomnia + Guy who could sleep through a hurricane#Cool great awesome this cannot keep happening to me#People can be SO intimidating without even trying and without knowing and never know ya know??#One time ONE TIME Zayne told me I seemed like an Intimidating/Scary and Pushy Person and it stuck with me SO hard#If you think I'm scary now I'm not PLEASE don't think that I'm a mouse a little guy please understand#YES I use to be in a fight club but now my bones are glass and I can't speak to another human being with my mouth words#I am NOT scary PLEASE believe me I am but a little dude#What is the point of this??#I dunno I think I'm venting#Is this what venting is???#My brothers are scary is the point I was on I have 3 very big very opinionated and very hard headed older brothers#And all three of them terrify me without knowing it#And how could I tell them that??? and what would come out of telling them that???#They're not going to CHANGE there's not a thing I could do or say to change this dynamic we have#Thank GOD I have parents who love every little bit of who I am or I would simply have absolutely nothing#What IS this post fdkgjdfkgjkdf#Mario my beloved Brother of all time safety and comfort and care#Everyone always talks about Daddy/Mommy Issues but where's the support group for Brother Issues#For Siblings who were totally traumatized by their older Brothers huh??? Where's that???
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