#and basically saying ‘I’m sorry this person betrayed you but. look at everyone here who love and care about you’

[talkfastcal]

Something

[azuresaqua]

little gifts

warnings + notes: kinich x reader, fluff, 2,4k words, secret santa submission for @vxnuslogy :) HI VEE !!!! i am your secret santa this year i hope you liked the fic :] tried to incorporate the things you like in this fic so !!! <3

PRESENT TIME

You consider Kinich to be a sentimental person. Why? Because when you accidentally stumble upon a box in your shared closet with the label “from my love” which is filled with things you had gotten him before and while you were dating, everything is in perfect condition. Nothing is broken, dirty, not a speck of dust in sight - as if he’d been secretly taking care of it.

“You’re snooping through my stuff now?” Kinich’s voice echoes through the room, laced with a slight amusement. He walks closer to you, peering inside the box. “Oh, you found it.”

“You kept all this?” you ask, taking out the first item in the box which is a little dragon keychain with a broken handle.

-

FIRST GIFT - DRAGON KEYCHAIN

The first time you ever gave Kinich a gift was during one of your “dates”. It wasn’t really a date, now that you actually think about it. It was way before the two of you started dating and Mualani and Kachina were there with you, so basically it was more of a hangout rather than a date (but Kinich will still think of it as a one).

The four of you had just finished the final exams of your last semester in university (while Kachina had just finished her last exams in high school), and Mualani had suggested to go hang out at a nearby mall to celebrate finally finishing exams. Of course, you and Kachina agreed almost instantly while Kinich had to be dragged by you and Mualani to come along.

“Ah, the mall!” Mualani took in a deep breath of “mall air” as she calls it and placed her hands on her hips, a triumphant smile on her face. “I’m finally back!” she threw her arms open, people passing by staring at her weirdly. “Y/N, tell me, how does it feel to finally be back in the mall after that tortuous week of non-stop studying?” Mualani slung a hand over your shoulder.

“I was back here just a few days ago…” you admitted, Mualani giving you a betrayed look. “I’m sorry! My parents took me out for dinner when they saw how hard I was studying last week.” you gave Mualani an apologetic look and she sighs.

“Okay, I’ll forgive you this time,” Mualani said and then gave you a cheeky smile. “However…” she trails off, changing her cheeky smile into something more… suspicious.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked nervously. Mualani isn’t mean, everyone knows that, but sometimes her plans are extraordinary, to say the least. What you were afraid of was accidentally letting out your secret of having a crush on Kinich. “Don’t be-” you tried whispering in her ear but Mualani suddenly grabbed Kinich’s hand and pulled him closer to you.

“My plan for today is to give each other gifts for finishing our exams!” Mualani exclaimed a little too excitedly. You had your suspicions that she just came up with that idea like five seconds ago, but you had no energy left to argue with her. “I was going to use spin the wheel to choose who gets who, but since someone went to the mall without us knowing,” she gave you a side eye. “I’m pairing you with Kinich!”

“Isn’t this a little unfair?” you complained.

“What’s unfair?” Mualani gave you a wink. “I think it’s a perfect opportunity to show whether or not you know the other person well.”

Kinich, who hadn’t been saying anything for the past ten minutes or so, suddenly spoke up. “That’s fine with me. I think this is a fun event.”

“See?” Mualani said. “Even Kinich doesn’t mind. As a matter of fact, I think you’re the only one who disagrees with this plan of mine.”

You narrowed your eyes, spotting Kachina behind Mualani who was watching this whole ordeal with an amused smile on her face. “Hey! Kachina hasn’t said anything. Wouldn’t it be rude of us just to go along with this if one person hasn’t said anything yet?”

Kachina, thrusted into the spotlight, flushed with embarrassment. “I-I don’t mind, really. I think it’s a fun activity.”

You stared at Kachina with a ‘you betrayed me’ look in your eyes and groaned in defeat. Eventually, after some more discussions, you split up - Kachina with Mualani and you with Kinich.

It was a quiet walk around the mall, you not knowing what to say and because Kinich is… well, Kinich. It’s nerve-wracking, really, being around him alone. You opened your mouth to say something but closed it back again not knowing how to say it.

Kinich might have noticed you getting all nervous because he suddenly spoke up. “Wanna split up? That way we’ll be surprised when we see the items we got.”

“Oh, yeah sure! That’s a good idea,” you replied. “So…”

“I’ll go this way.” Kinich pointed to his left. “We’ll meet back here in 40 minutes?”

“Okay,” you replied and saw Kinich walk away with his hands in his pockets. You let out a shaky breath, lightly slapping yourself on your cheeks to focus. “I can do this. Just get him something he likes.”

Around ten minutes of you walking around five different stores, you felt defeated. There was nothing you could find for Kinich in this mall, heck, you didn’t even know what he liked! He’d never been vocal about anything that piqued his interest, and even if he does find something cool, he fixates on it for a few minutes and then suddenly seems to lose interest.

Then, an idea pops into your head. The few times you’ve been in Kinich’s home (with the others of course), you’ve seen a few dragon stickers on his table and his wardrobe. There are just a few, but you have noticed that maybe Kinich likes anything related to dragons.

Walking into a store that sells many little trinkets, you spotted a cute little dragon keychain. There were a few options on display, but the blue, black, and green dragon keychain caught your eye. It resembled Kinich so well that it’s basically him in dragon form. It was subtle but enough for someone to catch if you were to squint your eyes at his bag.

“Perfect,” you muttered, grabbing it and walking over to the cashier. Walking back to the spot you agreed to rendezvous in, you spotted him already waiting there for you, a bag in his hands and his attention focused on his phone. “Kinich!”

He lifted his head and placed his phone in his pocket. “You sure took your time.”

“Sorry,” you apologized. “It took me a while to choose the perfect gift.”

“It’s okay,” Kinich said. “Mualani said to meet up in this cafe on the second floor.” You nodded and followed him up to the cafe.

Mualani and Kachina were already sitting on the chairs with gift bags on the table. Mualani saw the two of you and waved her arm, signaling you to come over. “Hey! What took you guys so long? We ordered some cheesecake and drinks,” you and Kinich sat down on the sofa side, making yourself comfortable.

“You know me so well, Mualani,” you teased, taking one plate of the cheesecake. “Oh, this is yummy.”

“Right?!” Kachina exclaimed, almost too excitedly. “Best cheesecake I’ve ever tasted.”

Mualani laughed, giving her a pat on her head. “Seems like someone has been missing out on some cheesecakes during her exam period,” Kachina let out an embarrassed laugh. “Well! Since we’re all here, let’s get to the present exchange shall we?”

“Wait- now?” you almost choked on your dessert, “Shouldn’t we finish our food first?”

“Where’s the fun in that? Eating cheesecake while opening our presents is a fun time!” Mualani explained. “Since you complained, you’re going first.”

“Hey-!” you tried to complain, but Kinich handed his gift to you. “You could’ve at least waited for me to finish eating.” You took one more bite out of your cheesecake and exchanged gifts with him.

“You can go first,” Kinich said, urging you to open the present.

You hummed and opened the bag. You gasped when you saw what was inside. Now, Mualani didn’t specify how many gifts you were supposed to buy for the other, but anyone would have thought one was enough. But Kinich had in fact gotten you three gifts.

You took out the first two items which were books, the ones you had been dreaming of buying but didn’t have enough money for. “You got me Franz Kafka’s books?! Kinich, this is too much.”

“I don’t think so,” Kinich replied softly. “You’ve been working so hard these past few weeks for our exams so I think you deserve them.”

You swear you were about to cry from how sweet his words are. Taking out the last gift was what made you cry for real - it was a bracelet, and once again, one you have been wanting to buy for a long time but not enough money to buy it. The pretty pink charms captivated you the moment you laid your eyes on it. Happy tears streamed down your face as you looked up at Kinich. “Isn’t this over your budget?”

“I have been saving my money since I didn’t really have anything I wanted to buy,” Kinich answered, giving you the sweetest smile in the world.

“How did you know I wanted these?” you asked.

“You mentioned it a few times before,” Kinich replied. “During our hangouts and free time. The last time we went to the mall together I remember you walking into the bookstore, staring at those two in particular for a long time.”

“Huh? Wait a minute, when did the two of you go out together?” Mualani asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “I don’t think you’ve ever-” You almost leapt across the table to cover Mualani’s mouth, to prevent her from saying more.

“You and Kachina were busy, and I was bored, so I asked Kinich to hang out with me,” you said, clearing your throat. You grabbed the small bag next to you, suddenly feeling anxious about giving it to him. “I feel bad for only giving you this one item, but I tried my best, I promise.”

Kinich took the bag from your hands and retrieved the little dragon keychain you bought. He stared at it for ten seconds without saying anything, and you thought he was about to say he didn’t like it, but when a smile appeared on his face, you felt relieved. “This is really cute, thank you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything else,” you felt embarrassed only getting him so little. “This was the only thing I found that reminded me of you.”

Kinich blinked and you swear you saw the tip of his ears turn red, but you brushed it off, thinking it was just the lighting. “No, I love it, really…”

Mualani suddenly cleared her throat. “Did you two forget we were here or something? Stop flirting in front of us!”

You choked out an embarrassed noise. “We are not flirting!”

“Was too!”

“Was not!”

In the midst of bickering with Mualani it was a shame you didn’t notice how Kinich’s eyes were trained on you the whole time.

-

PRESENT TIME

“Remember the way me and Mualani were arguing on whether or not we were openly flirting in front of her and Kachina?” you giggle. “Pretty sure Kachina couldn’t look us in the eyes for a few days after that.”

Kinich squats down next to you, holding the dragon keychain in his hands. “Yeah, that was really funny to see,” he flips it around, examining it. “It’s a shame we can’t fix the handle. I really loved using it on my bag.”

“We can always get a new one, you know?” you reply. “Besides, I’m pretty sure this was cheap…”

Kinich laughs. “Now that I think about it, our gift exchange was unfair.”

“Stop that! I didn’t know what to get you!” you complain. “Your stupid mysterious aura made it hard to understand you better.”

Shaking his head, Kinich takes out the next item in the box which was a poorly made paper flower.

-

SECOND GIFT - PAPER FLOWER

The first few weeks of going out with Kinich was… awkward, to say the least. Yes, you’d had a major crush on him ever since you started university and had been friends with him since high school, but that didn’t mean you knew how to act around him (especially since you were now his significant other).

When he asked you out on a date - to which you agreed without a second thought - you had this tiny paper flower you had made in art class. It looked… good, but it wasn’t quite beautiful. You tried your best, really. You wanted to give Kinich a handmade flower you’d seen everyone make on TikTok, but it failed and now you had to give Kinich a poorly made rendition that looked like it got run over by a car.

When you walked out the door, Kinich was already waiting outside of your dorm lobby dressed in casual clothes (which honestly made him look even cuter). He noticed you slowly walking over to him and he smiled. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you said, almost sounding breathless. The paper flower in your hand almost was crushed in your hands because of how nervous you were. “Um, I have something for you.” you hesitantly showed him the paper flower and Kinich blinked twice before taking it from you. “I know it looks ugly, but I swear I tried my best.”

You could see him stifling a laugh and you immediately frowned. “Stop laughing!”

“Sorry, it’s just-” Kinich tucked the flower safely in his pocket. “I love it, I promise.”

“You were laughing,” you pointed out.

“Because I find it cute,” Kinich replied. “You made a really pretty flower.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Why do I feel like you’re lying?”

“I promise I’m not,” Kinich said, taking your hand in his. “Now, shall we get going with our date?”

-

PRESENT TIME

“I can’t believe you kept this!” you exclaim in disbelief. The paper flower still looked like the first time you gave it to him. “I thought you threw this away.”

“Why would I?” Kinich asks. “Both of these gifts from you are special and I’d like to keep them with me forever if I can help it.”

“So sappy,” you tease. The box still has a few items in it but you’re about to run late for the restaurant reservation Kinich booked for your date night. “Come on, let’s go. We’re going to be late.”

Kinich hums. “Do you have a present for me tonight?” he teases, giving you a smile. “Perhaps another poorly made paper flower?”

“Keep that up and you’re having dinner alone,” you say sternly.

Kinich immediately stops talking.

[uusercatt367]

Your opinion on the Sakamaki brothers??

they all need to go see a therapist ASAP

That’s a good question cuz I hate all of them, as a Yui Stan it feels illegal for me to love them lol /Jk but I’ll have to say that they’re so funny when they act like actual siblings and some times they can be nice to her plus the reason I first got to watch the Anime is because I thought they looked hot 👹👹, but I’ll rank them from favorite to least favorite.

Ayato -

1. I know it’s pretty basic but I just can’t betray my 13 year old self cuz when I first saw him I instantly got a crush on him and he’ll always have a special place in my heart lol, Every time he speaks it instantly makes me crack up laughing, He’s such a narcissist I live for it, And yet sometimes he just annoys me Like bro stop making fun of Yui’s chest like he got bigger than hers 😟😟😟

Subaru -

2. Another favorite of mine is Subaru and it’s just because he’s actually so nice despite him having major anger issues, he’s game routes are my favorite out of everyone, I swear if he wasn’t a vampire he would be even nicer to Yui, And yes of course there were times that he was so cruel to her and it’s no excuse, but cut him some slack he got mommy and daddy issues 😾

Shu / Reiji -

3. It’s a tie between Shu and Reiji, I’m sorry I just can’t choose in my opinion they’re the prettiest along side Ayato, I’m just rlly into smart characters with mommy issues ( here referring to Reiji 👹 ) Also let’s talk about how much Shu describes my whole personality lol I also sleep and listen to music the whole time but I’m not cold like him and he’s actually really funny, their interaction together is really interesting / funny, I always love when they interact.

Laito -

4. I don’t have any major opinion about him, I’m not really into pervert characters but he is hilarious, I know he has some severe trauma ( well like the rest of them ) yet again there’s no excuse to anything that they did to Yui. If I’m being honest my first reaction to him was “ who is this Chuuya looking dude 💀💀 “

Kanato -

5. Now let me be honest and don’t come after me for this cuz I know a lot of people like Kanato but I hate him sm 💀, He is so annoying and my anger issues could never handle him, that one coffee scene with Yui in the Anime still pisses me off to this day, I swear if I was Yui I would start slapping the shit out of him, he acts like he either bullies or gets bullied by kids on Roblox. But I do like his aesthetic and his whole creepy vibe overall and maybe if he was taller I would’ve liked him more ^^ // Jk

Kino -

6. Can’t say much about him I just haven’t finished his route in LE yet but from what I’ve learned till now he’s an IPad kid and really into guava juice…

!!And just for the record if I said something that pissed you off I’m sorry but this is just an opinion.!!

[our-happygirl500-fan]

Draxum needs to apologise to a lot of people for the things he did before his redemption, & he gave Splinter a small apology in the episode in the episode Hidden City’s Most Wanted but there are still two people Draxum needs to apologise to specifically

Draxum: I’m sorry for, you know, trying to turn you into a weapon, and a bunch of other stuff

Obviously he owes an apology to Leo for throwing him off a roof but there’s another person Draxum really owes an apology to & that’s Cassandra Jones.  

Draxum: I have accomplished with one assistant what you couldn’t accomplish with an entire clan!

Casey: Assistant? But I thought we... were partners?

The moment Draxum thought he had secured leadership of the Foot he kind of betrayed Casey & tossed her to the side which is actually kind of sad when you think about how Casey spent most of the episode ‘How to Make Enemies and Bend People to Your Will’ looking up to Draxum.

Casey: I have been doing this all wrong!

Draxum: Indeed, waiting is for fools

Casey: This must be a trap but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you is that we get nothing from waiting!

Through the episode Casey is practically looking at Draxum with stars in her eyes & takes the things he says to heart as things that she should be doing & Casey looking up to Draxum throughout the episode isn’t just that Casey decided that Draxum was cool, throughout the episode Draxum uses language that would make Casey believe he viewed them as equals.

Casey: Lookout support duty? We’re the lookouts for the lookouts?

Draxum: This is beneath us both

Draxum: If we want to improve our rank we must handle this ourselves 

Draxum: Trust me, our rank is about to skyrocket

Throughout the episode Draxum uses words like ‘us’, ‘we’ & ‘our’ to make Casey feel like they’re equals, that they’re working together & Draxum must have known how much being treated as an equal must mean to Casey because from the very start of the episode it’s shown that Casey isn’t treated with much respect with the Foot Clan.

Casey: I can’t believe they promoted Jocelyn over me! I know her parents are big donors but come on!

Casey: We’re here to get coffee for the entire Foot Clan, and a vegan coconut scone for the boss

Draxum: Draxum is no errand boy

Casey: To become a full member of the Foot one must show commitment and patience, I have been in training since I was seven!

Even though Casey shows constant loyalty & dedication to the Foot Clan they don’t really treat her with respect, she’s been training since she was seven & considering that JJ Conway said that Casey is supposed to be the same age as April (around 16-17) that means she’s been training with the Foot for most of her life & yet she still has to watch countless others be promoted before her & has been stuck running errands for years.

Draxum: Would you like to do the honours? 

The Foot have been making Casey run errands for years, making her be the one to get everyone coffee or assigning her as the lookout for the lookouts so when Draxum comes along & lets her be the one to retrieve a piece of the Dark Armour, something important, you can see how much it means to her.

Her eyes are practically shining at someone trusting & respecting her enough, to do a task that actually means something.

And then Draxum calls her an assistant & shows her that he never thought of them as equals, he was just using her to get what he wanted which is why I think Draxum owes Casey an apology because he made her feel like she had finally found someone who she could trust, finally found someone who trusted her as well & he basically threw it in her face once he didn’t need her anymore.

And when they properly interact again in the episode Battle Nexus New York he’s so mean to her for no reason

Draxum: Who even likes Foot Recruit?

Casey: Huh?

Casey: Leap of faith! [Crash]

Draxum: Oh look, a ladder 

Casey & Draxum are the two redeemed villains of the Hamato clan & I need to see some form of resolution between these two because the closest we’ve got to that is Draxum & Casey being next to each other during the final attack against the Shredder

If Rise ever gets a season 3 Draxum better give Casey an apology for how he betrayed her trust when they were both working together in the Foot Clan

[starburst2000]

I cannot reblog the post, so I'll copy-paste it here

I asked @discowormfan: "Everyone in the StEx fandom likes to shit on Pearl, while forgetting that the World Championship Railroad Race practically brought out the worst in mostly everyone. GB and eElectra were fixated on winning by any means possible, CB derailed Rusty in front of everyone, even Rusty himself finally decided to race after seeing Poppa almost killing himself by stressing himself out despite his old age.

Let's not even count the fact that the Rockies decided to remind Rusty to "stay in his place" after getting derailed by CB and beaten up by the other Diesels, instead of getting conforted in any way. After "Right Palce, Right Time", it almost seemed like Rusty was on the verge of giving up on even his whole life, and he would have done so, hadn't the Starlight Express itself interviened.

As for Pearl, she's firstly captured by Electra's magnetism, and then got with GB because she thought that he wanted her to have "just some fun", and only the aftermath of the Uphill Final helped her to open her eyes about the whole situation. She even blames herself during "Only You", thinking that Rusty lost because of her. This is some big ass MATURITY, coming from her.

But NO. Let's all get angry at this one specific character, just because she has trouble understanding others' feelings.

Any opinions?"

She answered:"there are a multitude of reasons why i think that pearl is a flawed but good person at heart, basically for all the reasons you stated. regardless on whether they act like this extreme in day to day life, gb, slick, cb and electra all do arguably worse things than pearl. they lie, cheat, betray, mistreat and bully all throughout the show, and pearl’s worst sin is having really low awareness of the feelings of the people around her. even if electra didn’t entice her, i can see why she didn’t want to couple up with rusty for a few good reasons.

1. he simply just isn’t what she’s looking for in a partner. that’s fine! she doesn’t owe a relationship to him just because he’s nice to her. also good on her for knowing what she wants in a partner!

2. (assuming they’ve known each other for a long time and are friends) pearl likes rusty platonically and wishes to remain just friends, because she doesn’t want their dynamic to change. also fine!!! i’ve had countless friendships where, while we were very close, they didn’t go romantic because we simply just didn’t want to alter our relationship and were fine being just friends.

3. (assuming the events of the show are when they first met) pearl literally met rusty like 5 minutes ago and doesn’t feel comfortable getting with someone who she just met, who is also REALLY insistent that he race with her. i’d be pretty apprehensive to get with that guy too.

she wasn’t even that mean to rusty when she rejected him, she didn’t go “EW NO GET AWAY FROM ME FREAK” and like spit on his face, she gently said “i’m sorry rusty, i know you have good intentions but you just aren’t what i’m looking for” yes it hurts, and sucks for rusty, but pearl is being very clear and kind to rusty while she friendzoning him. she was being VERY nice i think.

as you said, pearl wasn’t even aware that dinah and greaseball had broken up at that point, she even says “it’s only fun” implying that she only saw getting with gb as a temporary thing before moving onto another engine. could she have been a bit NICER to dinah rather than saying “STOP FUCKIN CRYIN BITCH WAH WAH WAH I DONT WANNA FUCKIN HEAR IT” yeah. could she have maybe ASKED why dinah was so upset at this? yes? was it still really messed up she hooked up with dinah’s boyfriend/girlfriend RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER AFTER THEY BROKE UP? yes very much so. pretty messed up of pearl, not cool. but is it THAT WORTH LOATHING her for? compared to how literally everyone else acts in this show, i’d say it isn’t.

hell, if you look at it from the perspective of her being a newly built coach, it gives a lot more understandability to why she acts the way she does. she was literally born yesterday and is still figuring out how the world works, and people are already pushing her around and trying to kiss her. i wouldn’t have the best sense of what’s right and wrong and identifying people’s emotions and seeing things from their perspective either if i was immediately thrust into an unfamiliar world just YESTERDAY and people are acting all crazy banana cuckoo around me either.

even if you don’t see pearl is a newly built coach and she’s been around longer than just like a day, i still wouldn’t hate her for being flawed??? because flaws are what make characters interesting!!! even people who’ve been around for a long time are flawed, it’s not just a young person thing. and it’s satisfying seeing someone recognize their own flaws and try to atone and grow from them, which pearl does!

she realizes that her unawareness of other people’s feelings resulted in her friend getting beat up, and she even says that “this wasn’t how i wanted it” her intent was to find love, but her selfishness only resulted in people getting hurt, and she recognizes that. she laments why she let greaseball blackmail her into staying silent about rusty’s crash (“whyyyy did iiiii, haaaaave to liiieeee?”) she feels remorse for seemingly costing rusty’s victory in the race, and ultimately becomes better because of it.

hell, even rusty is flawed! he’s stubborn, insecure, dependent, easy to give in, and i’d argue at the beginning of the show, he and pearl have the same flaw of being selfish in that they fail to consider other people’s feelings in spite of what THEY want (rusty doesn’t understand why pearl wouldn’t want to race with him, and is rather pushy when offering to race with her, and pearl wants to find her “dream train” and doesn’t understand how rejecting rusty, and getting with dinah’s significant other might make them upset), it’s just that rusty completes his half of the arc before pearl completes her’s.

might i reiterate, pearl’s biggest sins were having extremely low self awareness, and getting with dinah’s bf/gf. compared to greaseball’s cheating, mistreatment, bullying, beating up of racers, and cb’s everything, and electra’s cheating, pearl’s crimes are literally NOTHING when you put her against them.

now if you want to criticize how pearl is written that’s another thing, which i actually can agree with since i don’t really think of this show when it comes to “really great character writing, especially for the girlies,” i think there is a lot to criticize on that front, but saying pearl is this mean, vindictive bitch for the crimes of being really not self aware is complete poppycock.

anyways to answer your question yeah i agree pearl is pretty cool"

[klossanovaandtheheartbreakqueen]

My personal take on the ‘were Karlie and Taylor ever together’ question you posed is that before I came out to myself and also when I was newly out, I had a lot of really volatile, extremely close friendships where I was too clingy, touchy, and even kissy. A few friends even liked the attention and played into it—one in particular liked to basically domme me while repeatedly confirming she was straight… But giving my poor queer heart confusing amounts of hope when she ‘jokingly’ grabbed my tits or duct-taped me into a kneeling position for movie night. We were never together—this was before the term situationship, or I might have seen it for what it was—but that relationship defined most of my high school years. (Yeah, high school, I know.)

When you’re a pathological people pleaser, even if you see all the warning signs, even if you’re told flat out someone has no romantic interest in you… Sometimes they become your whole world. And sometimes they then abruptly get a boyfriend and stop talking to you because they don’t need whatever they were getting from you anymore.

To me, Karlie is the one that got away. She’s the one who haunts her what ifs. The one who betrayed her but didn’t betray her but she did… The one she can’t let go of despite that because that time was so magical and volatile and passionate. It can’t have all been for nothing. It can’t have all been for a lark. It must have meant something to the other person, too.

So they were friends, and then they were in a situation that was friendship set on fire, and then Taylor retreated to lick her wounds and try to heal her heart but kept ruminating on the good times.

I also think the Joe Alwyn thing started off as a bearding relationship but got messy internally as things went on because she got attached and he never did, which was just a repeat of Karlie in different terms. And it wasn’t his fault but it hurt her all the same.

I totally understand that this is going to be the sort of opinion that everyone hates. 😅 I also understand that I’m projecting, but until Taylor tells us otherwise, I figure there’s no harm in it. It’s just how her music resonates with my own story. Sometimes your worst heartbreak isn’t an ex, it’s a straight girl who told you exactly what you were getting yourself into and a queer little heart overflowing with love that fooled itself into believing a lie.

I could do a whole lyrics explanation for this take, but I’m a little worried that it would make the whole community hate me, which is why I haven’t posted about it. What do you think? Would I just get blocked into the shadow realm and no longer get to enjoy the community?

Hey, anon. Usually when I get an ask, I try to incorporate it into a poll that expresses their point of view. But yours is something a little different, so I'm going to answer it a little differently.

The first thing I'll say is that I think a lot of women here can relate to your experience with your high school friend. I think a lot of people reading this will be wincing in recognition, and, like me, feel sorry you went through that. Even though sometimes, these things do make you stronger, or help you find yourself in some unexpected way. And in years to come you look back on them and think "that was horrible, but you know what? I'm glad I went through it". I get the impression you're in the processing stage, making your way to that end point, and I think it's more relatable than you might assume.

On to the Taylor / Karlie, Taylor / Joe of your ask . . . I think you're self-aware in calling these theories projection, and I think you're probably right that most people in Gaylor / Kaylor land aren't going to agree with that interpretation. Radio silence is the most likely outcome if you post your theories - but people can be cruel when they become defensive, and it's possible you would have to contend with some nastiness too. I've been running neutral or straight-up light-hearted polls for a week now, and have posted twice making clear that I'm doing this for the fandom, and that I don't condone nastiness or bullying of any kind. It hasn't stopped people accusing me of being a plant, a "reformed" Kaylor (whatever that means) and a bad actor who is only pretending to be neutral. As part of some evil plan? Who knows. The point is, people will always be people, and you probably will have to contend with some of that if you put your opinions out there. You're the only one who can decide if the trade-off is worth it. I can find the humor in most things, but not everyone is like that. There's no shame in deciding it's all too much of a headache.

It does sound like this interpretation of Taylor's lyrics really resonates with you, though, and it seems like you've put a lot of thought into it. I'm going to throw out a suggestion. Maybe you're looking at this from the wrong point of view? I know the temptation to map real life onto Taylor's work is ever-present, because she has presented her work as autobiographical since she was a teenager. As fans we can get stuck in that, and think that's the only valid way to talk about her songs. We become detectives and say "this song is Taylor talking about this event". And that can all be great and true. But at the end of the day, art is art, and once it's out in the world, it's okay for the audience to start making it their own.

Take the Betty / James / August love triangle. That was something fans came up with, not something Taylor herself intended. She ran with it more and more as the fan conversation picked up, and now it is what it is - accepted fan lore, to the point that people forget it wasn't her original plan with the songs. I think Taylor had her own reasons for embracing this interpretation, but the point remains - it is a great way to read those songs. It's fun, thought-provoking, and it adds something to the experience of listening, if you imagine them as all being interconnected in this fictional universe.

Maybe there's a way to put that strong sense of connection you feel, between your experience and Taylor's songs, into the fan space, in a way that might strip away the noise and acrimony, and let people relate to the feeling instead? It could be anything. An essay about what those songs meant to you, an animatic telling a story, a video edit for a fandom you love. Whatever you feel like. I think as Kaylors / Gaylors we can get a little stuck on being 'the only ones who see Taylor's truth', and it becomes the default way we interact with her work. But it doesn't necessarily have to be like that.

Maybe you're just . . . stuck in the wrong mode, if that makes sense. Maybe there's a less stressful way to get that energy out, and find the kind of fan community you crave. The kind that says "I know how you feel - that hit me the same way too", and not the kind that offers a thousand reasons why you're wrong. Or becomes so annoyed by what they see as your pushing of incorrect facts, that they become angry and attack you. I'm getting the impression you don't necessarily believe-believe the real life elements of your theory? So I understand why you're reluctant to invite all that negativity into your space. The feeling the songs give you is what really matters, and I think that's what you're actually burning to share and have validated. I don't know you - this is just what I'm getting from your ask - but I think you might be trying to channel something great through an outlet that just isn't right for it. I hope you figure it out and I wish you all the best ✨

[arcanamusica]

Arcanamusica Comic Chapter 1-3 (前編+後編)

Suu: “And now, for the second round…We have prepared a very thrilling game for you…The Arcana GuraGura Game!” (T/N: This is basically the Arcanamusica version of Jenga)

Shibuyoshi: “Oh! I know this one too..”

Maimy sighs again.

Suu: “Everyone, you are familiar with the basic game rules, correct? You cannot let the tower collapse, but each turn you must pull a block from the inside. It’s a game that keeps getting higher! As per our original rules, each block you remove will be numbered, so we ask that you answer the question that corresponds to the number on it…Such as…When was your first time?~”

Kawawa: “...Is it going to be like this the whole time…?”

Igashima: “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer any questions that go against my morals or could compromise privacy…”

Shibuyoshi: “E-everyone, do your best!!”

Maimy: “So stupid…”

Suu: “In that case, let us begin from the winner of the last round, Dark Palace, and we’ll take turns in a counter-clockwise fashion!” The blocks rise up in the center of the table.

Maimy sighs and pulls out a block. “Ugh….15.”

Suu: “The question for number 15 is…Here!

Have you ever thought about killing somebody?”

Kawawa: “..What?”

Maimy: “N…”

Suu: “Hm?”

Maimy: “No. Listen up, okay? When you live loud and have fun, life is good-I don’t care about struggling or making an effort or whatever. I want to kill someone? Be for real. Thinking about anything like that is a waste of my time.” 

Kawawa: “...”

Maimy places the block on top and starts humming.

Suu: “Next is Legge! Please, if you will.”

Jujo pulls out the number 11 from the tower. 

Suu: “Number 11’s question… here! Have you ever betrayed someone?”

Maimy: “Ok, wait. Isn’t this vibe a little bit different from when we played Sugoroku?”

Suu: “Is that so?”

Kawawa: “Huh...”

Jujo: “I haven’t.” 

Suu: “Not even once?”

Jujo: “Never.”

Suu: “Understood. Next!”

Kawawa stands up. “My turn.”

Suu: “Number 12-RiZ, your question is…

Do you have confidence in yourself?”

Kawawa: “H-huh..? This question is a little less serious…Self confidence, huh..Hmm..I guess I don’t really have a lot, but it’s not like I don’t have any either.”

Shibuyoshi: “Uh, so which is it then?!”

Kawawa: “I think it depends on the time and place. Most people are probably the same, right?”

Maimy: “Not me~ I’m always perfectly confident~”

Kawawa: “Yeah, yeah…”

Igashima takes a block from the tower. “I believe it’s my turn, if you’ll excuse me.”

Suu: “Number 5!

Is it your fault that someone died?”

Shibuyoshi: “...Uh…Wh…Isn’t that a little weird..?”

Igashima smiles. “It’s not true.”

Shibuyoshi: “Y-yeah! Of course it isn’t! Jeez, you guys! Enough with these questions about being a bad person or whatever! It’s not fun at all! Let’s hope the next one is a good one! Bring it on!!”

Suu: “Have you ever stolen something?”

Kawawa: “..Really? Again with that kinda…thing…?”

Shibuyoshi stares at the question, his eyes blank, as the rest of the participants look up at him.

Maimy: “Hmmm? Who would’ve guessed there was a criminal here.”

Shibuyoshi: “T-that’s not true! That can't be true!…Right?!”

Shibuyoshi goes to place the block down, and the entire tower collapses.

Shibuyoshi:“Ah…”

-Part 2-

Shibuyoshi: “Ah…Ah, I just.. No…”

Jujo: “If you don’t have the confidence and strength to hide it, stop trying to cover it up.”

Igashima: “He's having a hard time trying to keep his secret, and you’re worried about what it’s doing to him. Is that what you meant to say?

Shibuyoshi: “...I’m…. sorry…I’m so sorry. I…When I was in elementary school, I…stole some chocolate.”

Kawawa: “...Chocolate?”

-Riku…Come on!-

-But..-

-Don’t worry, nobody’s here!-

Shibuyoshi: “The group I was with…they made me do something like a test of courage. I…couldn’t refuse.”

Kawawa: “...Doesn’t this kind of thing happen all the time?”

Jujo: “Even if that may be true, that doesn’t make it forgivable. After all, theft is still a serious crime.”

Shibuyoshi: “Sorry…I’m so sorry…” 

Kawawa: Well, it’s true that theft is a crime, but… Isn’t this reaction a little bit extreme..? I really can’t stand this atmosphere much longer…

Igashima stands up to comfort Shibuyoshi. “It’s okay. Even if that wasn’t the right thing to do, telling yourself you have to “Stand up for justice, even if it means going against your friends”...It’s a lot easier said than done, isn’t it?”

Jujo: “.....”

Igashima: “Of course, this would apply only if this child knew that doing this was not just a small matter…”

Shibuyoshi: “Th…Of course, I knew that!

-If a lot of instances like this happen, I’m not sure we’ll be able to keep the store open for much longer…-

Shibuyoshi: “The troubled face of the shopkeeper…”

-Riku…Why would you do something like that?-

Shibuyoshi: “The sad faces of my family…

I’ll never forget them. And I know…I know I’ll never do it again.”

The room falls silent until Kawawa yells, “Alright, that’s enough! We can tell you’re sorry, so it’s fine…Can we move on with the game now?”

Maimy: “Yeah, this is getting boring.”

Suu: “Understood. In that case, Shibukichi is the one who lost the Guragura Game, which means…Everyone else besides him will receive Arcana Points. With this, the second round has concluded. At this point, we will take a 10-minute break between games. Regarding the location of the toilets, etc….”

-Some time passes, and Kawawa is found walking in the hall.-

Kawawa: ...Ugh, now everyone probably feels like shit…That kid probably came in here without ever expecting something like that to happen, so why…Things like killing people and stealing things…Are fans really going to like that? 

Ah! So that’s where the water is.

Hah…There’s still one round left…What could they possibly do? I hope it’s at least better than whatever that last game was…I’ll keep my expectations low, though…"

“‘Whoever wins will be given a new song as a gift’...I wonder what that even means…”

Jujo: “Regarding that-”

Kawawa: “Huh?!”

Jujo: “The client has approved it. Ah, yes, please advise me when you look it over.” 

Kawawa: It was just a phone call, huh…I thought he knew something…

Jujo stares at Kawawa.

Kawawa: “...? Can I help you?”

Jujo: “The water dispenser.”

Kawawa: “Eh?”

Jujo: “It says ‘For employees only’.”

Kawawa: “EH!”

Jujo: “It may not be important to you, but please be aware that you should follow the rules.”

Kawawa: “I fucked up…I didn’t notice that at all…”

“Is that so.” Jujo purchases a water from the vending machine.

Kawawa: Should I…get another one?

Nah…I think that would be even more awkward….

Voiced comic below:

[nobodysdaydreams]

😭😔

Hi Milk! Thanks for the ask! Sorry for getting to this late. I also apologize for not having more tmbs content yet (I'll get there. Eventually). But since you asked me about Duck Boy (Daniel Jacobi), I thought I'd give you an update and some stuff that involves him specifically.

😭 angst or sad WIP snippet

Here's a snippet of Duck Boy talking about his best friend's death that I plan to publish soon:

"[...] She should be the one who’s here, but she’s not. I am. And it’s unfair, because I…I’m not like her. I can’t make up for all the bad stuff I did, because there was never anything good about what I did. I was the guy that blew stuff up. I destroyed things, and…people. Relationships. You can’t get any good out of that. [...]"

😔published lines or a section of a fic that was super sad, angsty, or difficult to write?

Now here is the official Duck Boy update. (DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS). As you may recall from my last post, Duck Boy really screwed things up and refused to see the light. However, he does eventually come to the light in about the most chaotic way you possibly could (my reaction here for the wolf359 fans). To make a long story short, imagine the Curtain and Garrison divorce drama but 1000x worse than that. That's what happens with Jacobi and his boss, Kepler (aka Whiskey Boy). You see, he decides that since the opposing crew killed Alana Maxwell, his best friend, and Kepler put her in danger, it's only reasonable to threaten to blow up the entire ship and everyone on it (including himself) unless Minkowski (the person who shot Maxwell) agrees to shoot Kepler in the head. Kepler is completely shocked by this (I believe his exact words were "how could he? After all we've been through...") which...I don't even have time to detail how much of a loser Kepler is and how horribly he treated Jacobi, (especially by his behavior at his best friend's funeral) but he makes Duck Boy look like a saint. His surprise at this betrayal is completely unwarranted and entirely unjustified. Anyway, they get divorced and Jacobi eventually decides against killing everyone, forgives Minkowski and himself for the role he played in people's deaths, including Alana's, and finally starts acting like a good guy. But then the real bad guys show up, and a bunch of stuff happens but basically, Kepler has a sudden breakthrough, realizes he's been a complete fool, and realizes the only way he can protect Jacobi, Minkowski, and the rest of the crew and humanity is by pretending to be a bad guy who betrayed all of them, and then surprising the bad guys and sacrificing himself without telling anyone about it. Jacobi never finds out what he did (he begged Kepler to join him, but Kepler refused to make his performance believable and though Jacobi does go back to try to find Kepler in the aftermath, he can't and realizes he probably died).

Now, for my fic, I include a scene of Jacobi discovering the truth about how Kepler died and what he did for them. This also plays off a quote from the podcast where Kepler tells the crew that none of them really know him because the real Warren Kepler "died" in order to have this job. Here is a snippet from that. I was a little weird to write this because of how much time I spent not liking these two characters, but redemption arcs always make me happy when they're genuine, so here we go:

Once they had left, Jacobi sighed and looked up at the screen. He stared at it for a long while, not really moving or saying anything, letting what he’d just seen wash over him.

He’d known it was more than likely that Kepler was dead. He’d known when he’d searched and been unable to find him. No one else reported any sighting of him, so how he died was a mystery that Jacobi thought might be better left unanswered given the last exchanged he’d had with his former boss.

But at least he had the truth now.

Jacobi continued to sit in silence, letting the emotions roll over him. Though it was hard to tell exactly what emotion he felt in the moment. Kepler’s death didn’t exactly cause him grief (particularly because Jacobi remembered very well that way Kepler had acted at Alana’s funeral not to mention everything else he’d done), but it certainly didn’t make Jacobi feel particularly joyful. The man on the tape, whoever he was, the real Warren Kepler, the one who hadn’t destroyed himself giving everything to his job, the man who could make jokes as he waited to be thrown out of an airlock because he knew he’d saved what mattered… Jacobi would have liked to have known that man. Maybe he’d seen glimpses of him from time to time, but that wasn’t the same as knowing him.

And here's the full fic for those interested. Still updating it, but its almost done!

[kitkatnerds3]

BSD chapter 108 spoilers

 I don’t have pictures so anyone who wants to read this is gonna have to deal with that. I’m also gonna be jumping around a lot, so prepare for unorganized-ness. 

Now, on with the chapter

HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPEND! 

FIRST OFF. The first thing we get in this chapter is Sigma showing Fyodor the card that says ‘help me’. After this Fyodor has a BREAKDOWN. Crying and screaming ‘HELP ME’, after this he calms down and asks what year it is, saying that he is the real Fyodor and that he’s sorry he couldn’t stop the other him from being evil, he then hands Sigma a knife that he just has for some reason, but then SIKE- he stabs Sigma and says something along the lines of ‘ Ah, I can’t believe you fell for that, split personalities are such a cliche’.

(I’m about to go on a long rant, so I want to first say, I think Sigma is fine. Asagiri loves his fake out deaths and Sigma’s story ending here would not be narratively satisfying and there isn’t really on lead up or foreshadowing that would imply that he would die here. Our boi is gonna be fine.)

Now, I know he said that he was lying, but I don’t think Asagiri would have included that for no reason, which is why I want all of us to look back to Fyodor and his ability in Dead Apple. Fyodor was one of the only characters who didn’t have to fight his ability, the other one being Chuuya. Chuuya not having to fight his ability makes sense because it is a singularity. But Fyodor? His ability isn’t like Chuuya’s because unlike his Fyodor’s ability did show up, but it didn’t try to fight him and even worked with him! His gem was also on his hand instead of on the forehead like most of the other abilities. The idea that it was like this is because his ability is in fact a separate entity past the extent of even Elise and is even capable of taking him over is interesting. 

But I don’t think that it’s entirely like that, because Fyodor still betrayed Sigma even if he was the supposed ‘Good One’. I think Fyodor was definitely lying about the there’s a good Fyodor and a bad Fyodor, but I do think there might be more than one Fyodor. So, I want to expand on a theory I saw about Fyodor’s ability where he could send a version of himself into the virtual world. I feel like his ability could probably be like this except it’s not the virtual world, it’s a different plane of reality. I feel like I’ve definitely read stories where a character lives in a plane just above our own and can manipulate stuff there which in turn changes something about its correlating thing in our plane. Maybe this is the plane on which peoples souls reside, and Fyodor’s ability allows him to interact with his soul. If his ability destroys the soul/ life force of a person, then that could make that person die in real life resulting in the blood explosion that we’ve seen happen before. On the matter of having to touch the person, I don’t think that would be necessary, when he was captured by Ace and then killed everyone on the boat, I doubt he managed to sneak up and touch every single one. they were supposed to be good bodyguards and I don’t believe that Fyodor is that athletic, he couldn’t have fought all of them. we’ve also seen that him touching someone doesn’t necessarily kill them, ex: Nikolai and Karma while he was drying Fyodor’s hair. So, I think that him touching people to kill them is just a front he does to trick people, kinda like that thing he did with Ace where he made him think his ability was something else. This could also explain some stuff about Ivan and Nathaniel and how he changed them, maybe he changed their souls in a way that affected their brains!

After all I said the fact is that I’m using the term ‘soul’ kinda broadly, so in my opinion, a soul basically represents everything that a person is, their hopes, dreams, way of thinking, life force, and for ability users, their ability as sort of an add on. And basically Other-Fyodor can just affect people by tinkering with their souls on that plane. So, what if in Dead Apple Shibusawa’s power is him sort of combining the two planes so that ability users can interact with the ability part of their souls. This could also be why the non-ability users disappeared, because they didn’t have the ability part of their soul and therefore did not technically exist in the version of the world Shibusawa summoned.(this isn’t about him but maybe Atsushi’s special in that his ability is not an add on to his soul but is instead actually apart of him, so that’s how even though the thing that technically holds his ability was removed he could still access the tiger) (this could also explain more about how Shibusawa’s ability kept him alive, even though his body died he kept the soul alive therefore keeping pretty much everything that made Shibusawa Shibusawa intact) And since Fyodor was already interacting with his ability/soul in a more complex way previously he was able to just interact with him normally. This could also be more stuff for the Fyodor can only kill non-ability users theory seeing as there are many situations in which it probably would have been better for him to just magic death people, if destroying an ability users soul entails fighting off their ability (cause I like the ‘abilities are born from trauma theory’ and think that they, when not affected by Shibusawa, are supposed to protect their users) then I don’t think Fyodor would be able to go through the trouble of winning a fight. But for a soul unprotected by an ability he could easily just crush it, therefore killing the person! Thinking on it more this does lead to questions about how he could have affected Nate and Ivan, cause those two have abilities too so wouldn’t they protect them? I’ve written too much to go back now so I’ma just say maybe they didn’t sense any lethal intent and therefore saw no need to attack. I’m also ready to go with the idea that, at least for Ivan, he just literally preformed a lobotomy. He definitely did something special to Nate, but I feel like Fyodor’s done crazier stuff then preform a lobotomy, so he could’ve just done that no fancy stuff involved, Ivan does have the head bandages after all!

I feel like there is a lot more I could talk about, with the ability stuff, but my brain is tired, and I want to move on to different things that happened in this chapter, because that’s still what this post is supposed to be about. Still talking about Fyodor for a bit though this chapter caused me to think about him a lot.

So, while I do 100% believe that the ‘Good Fyodor’ act was bullshit, I do think that those emotions were at least a bit real. I think that Fyodor isn’t the calm, cold individual he wants everyone to think he is. We know that he wishes to rid this world of sin, but what if this isn’t only out of a sense of righteous work of god, what if it’s also out of a feeling of fear. Maybe Fyodor is a a-bit more fucked up 14-year-old Ranpo who is terrified of the world around him and never found his Fukuzawa, and just wants help and to be saved from this sin infested world but has to put on a brave/indifferent face and do it himself.

Was this a load of bullshit that I pulled out of my ass? Yes. Yes it was. But they’re kinda cool ideas and even if I do think that they’re probably incorrect they were fun to think of and write and that’s all that matters! Plus, I do slightly believe that parts could be true.

TLDR: I think Fyodor’s ability allows him to interact with his soul on another plane of existence and that he is scared by the world around him.

Wow! didn’t mean to go on that long about Fyodor. my brain just started thinking about things and I couldn’t stop it. Now, onto a subject that is going to take a lot less of my brain power! (my brain is kinda very tired rn)

SECOND THING THAT HAPPEND. SHIN SOUKOKU. GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY. HOLY SHIT THEY ARE SO IN LOVE!

Some of my theories on what was gonna happen this chapter were kinda correct! Atsushi did indeed land himself in a situation where he couldn’t fight Akutagawa without killing him and so he stopped before hitting him, and then Aku attacked him and Atsushi said something that brought Aku back a little bit. But then my prophetic powers stopped because after that Aya did NOT pull the sword out of Bram, and Aku ripped off Atsu’s arm and leg (0 days since Atsushi has last lost his leg). Atsushi said so much romantic ass bullshit “I know you’re in there” “I’ve got you” and he smiled at him!!! Atsushi was tired and in pain and he STILL tried to SMILE at Aku!!! This feels like a goddamn fanfic!!! It’s wonderful!! And Akutagawa also had a several scenes where he hesitated to hurt Atsu even under the vampire-ness! Sure, he may have still torn his arm and leg off, but the fact still remains that he hesitated!!! He may be saved by gay love yet!!!!

Soukoku still have not shown up, much to the dismay of pretty much everyone, but at the end we did get to see the old man yaoi breakup and let me tell ya, whoo, it is NOT going well!

THIRD THING THAT HAPPENED. DAD HAS BEEN STABBED AND IS BLEEDING OUT. I REPEAT, FUKUZAWA IS IN DANGER OF DYING.

I really, really hope that he won’t die for, just SO many reasons. He probably won’t because Asagiri really does love his fake out deaths, but narratively speaking, Fukuzawa unfortunately has a slight possibility of death.

Oh, also Fukuchi has One Order, but I honestly don’t really know what that is, sooooo... Back to Fukuzawa!

Because I really don’t want to contemplate the idea of dad dying, I am instead going to act as if it is an impossibility and think of what might happen next. So, I think that this might how we get Yosano and Junichirou back in the story! I saw a while ago that the Juni in the bed is an illusion because the Elise drawing with the crossed-out faces didn’t have his face crossed out, and I’m very much inclined to believe this because it just works in many different ways! It makes a way for some more people (mainly Yosano) to sneak into the airport and help out and could lead to the Tanizaki backstory that I crave so very dearly. Actually, the latter thing probably won’t happen for a while, and it might not fit into the story yet, so... yeah actually forgot about the second thing. But we do definitely need some more people to our guys right now! I’m pretty sure Ranpo and Fukuzawa are actively dying and we need more guys to fight Fukuchi with, so Yosano’s gotta make sure her dad and brother don’t die and hopefully they can get Juni, Lucy, and sskk (after Atsushi cures Aku by kissing him on the mouth) to kick Fukuchi’s ass. I honestly have no idea how the fuck they’re gonna deal with the old man, I saw a theory that someone had replaced One Order with one of Kunikidas flash bombs, and that is kinda probable, I think! I’m still pretty sure that Aya is gonna do some girlboss shit in the form of pulling the sword out of Bram i the midst of all of this, but I’m not sure when it’s gonna happen seeing as there is just so much stuff going on right now.

Anyways! The last two sections of this post were probably not the best I could’ve done becuse I spent all my braincells on the Fyodor analysis, but whatever! This was Fun! Can’t wait to see what sort of crazy bullshit goes down next chapter!

[stargirlfeyre]

Hi!

I really like you blog it amazing!!!!💙

Sorry to bother you with this question! I’m new to acotar fandom and wanted to ask some experienced in this field.

Is ACOSF worth reading?.. The opinions are almost polar opposites and it’s confusing as hell. (As if two different books had been read by fandom)

I always saw Nesta as an older mean (the nicest adjective I can say since I read acofas she was not it) sister. I understand she was written like that in the 1 book and in the acomaf she was um… decent…? Personality was shown , not only cold demeanour towards Feyre and the others. And in acofas (novella) she seems to fall into even meaner self.

don’t get me wrong. I understand that the trauma from war is hard hitting and is battle that everyone fights differently. But I have no words to possibly understand her. Amren comment on liking her because not all of the people like Nesta is weird (from my perspective).

Feyre is TRYING SO HARD to build (and help and understand) the relationship to the BETTER and everything from her or any other IC is perceived as a threat. ( as I saw pieces from ACOSF)

From my opinion (and reading all the polar opposites post on this matter), Nesta seems to villainize everyone and expects everyone to read her mind constantly to make them understand her and at the same time is almost BFF with strangers (who seem to be a substitute to her own “sisters”) because they understand her best????

And the fact that everyone is hating Rhysand after this book. That is mindblowing (to me). He was never a hero. He is a morally grey character. The fact that they expect him to deal with political and THOUSANDS YEARS problems with a snap of a finger is just ooff

So sorry for my rant here. I could’ve hold my confusion and irritation anymore. I hope I made sense here. And apologise for my tone I had no intention to offend you!!!!

HI! So personally I think Acosf is not worth it at all. If you want some closure and want to understand Nesta a tiny (and emphasis on tiny because that book didn’t do a good job on giving us an in-depth insight on her character) bit more then give it a chance . But if you don’t want to put yourself through the torture of being in Nesta’s head then honestly just look up spoilers. The reason it seems like people read two different books is because everything that went on in Acosf just split this fandom in two. Basically the IC wasn’t the nicest to Nesta (even though they handled the situation as best as they could) and the fandom split with one side thinking they were harsh and “abused” her and the other side thinking they were justified in their treatment of her. Everyone has different interpretations of what these characters did and why.

I’d also say Nesta was more likable during the original trilogy than she was in her own book. Everything you’ve already head about Acosf is pretty much spot on. She does spend the book victimizing herself while also admitting that she does terrible things but while also acting like everyone who doesn’t get along with her is terrible and out to get her. Even the people who has always been shown to love her (like Feyre) are villainized by Nesta because she likes seeing herself as a victim. Though Sjm did admit that Nesta’s pov is unreliable when it comes to how certain characters are portrayed so I’m pretty sure it was intentionally written like that but it also was incredibly annoying and she’s never actually shown to grow out of it.

This is a spoiler but at one point she gets angry at Elain for “talking about her to Feyre behind her back” when really Elain and Feyre just talked about their concern for her as sisters. She also spends the entire book acting like Elain and Amren somehow betrayed her simply because they were being nice to Feyre…so it’s safe to say Nesta does a lot to villainize certain characters in an effort to make herself a victim.

That also gives more insight as to WHY this fandom split because there’s people who genuinely believe that Nesta’s pov was the most accurate out of the entire series and then there’s people who actually understand that most of the things she thought and said were a product of her trauma and should be taken with a grain of salt.

Also it’s true that Nesta does befriend strangers because they “understand her better” which is…ridiculousness but this rant is already getting long so I’ll leave it at that.

And people’s hate for Rhys after Acosf is because they never understood that he was morally grey and not really a “kind” person.

All and all Nesta was just more likable when we were seeing her from Feyre’s pov.

[zelsisi]

Y’all. I’m coming off of such a heavy dnd session. It literally made me start crying. And when I say the character’s head space is fucked up I fucking mean it

So Thyn. My Tiefling Swords Bard. Is back in an area controlled by his home. He didn’t think that his friends would betray him or that his former lover would start to go insane. But it did happen and it landed them in jail. One party member is pissed off at him and just fucking left the group (mainly cause of the player needing to drop which I can understand). He stopped talking for like the first part of session only really talking once they were like half way through.

Then they’re on this mission and he runs into his former lover again who did the whole Star Wars 7 “TRAITOR” line. He stayed behind with his boyfriend to keep them off of the rest of the group. His boyfriend takes care of occupying three others while Thyn fights his ex lover. Who happens to be the only childhood friend he saw as family to survive the military dictatorship up till this point. I made a FF14 reference of Thyn being like “A rematch eh? How’s the phrasing go again? The Victor shall write the tale and the vanquished become its villain.”

So they fight and Thyn makes the comment of “Are you proud of yourself Maleris?” Maleris asks if Thyn is proud of himself (which he’s really not) and says he’s not letting me run away again. Thyn remarks back of “Running away is no fun after all. But you might as well be proud of yourself cause I can sure as hell tell you no one else is” EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

And everyone in call was like “Ouch”. But they continue fighting and then Thyn gets the upper hand, disarms Maleris and himself, and pins Maleris to the ground and speaks. “I’ve lived with blood on my hands. I’ve lived with the haunting memories of the fallen. I know you have too. I’m used to the anguish it causes me. The nightmares, the sleepless nights.” His expression goes from dark to sad and regretful “I know this will add to it. I will not ask for your forgiveness because I damn well know I won’t get it. Hells! I wouldn’t forgive me and I won’t. Nor will I forgive you Maleris. But I chose this path and you chose yours.” He draws his sheathed dagger and Maleris weakly raises a hand saying something along the lines of “At least you’re stabbing me in the heart from the front” which causes Thyn to start crying “I regret that decision every day of my fucking life. I’m sorry. Even though I’m not going to get your forgiveness.” He raises the dagger up “Say hi to the others. If not that then I’ll see you in hell.” And he plunges the dagger down into Maleris’s heart and as the blood covers his hands and as Maleris fades he says “I didn’t recognize you when I came into harbor. As far as I know the person I cared for is gone.”

Thyn then stands, doesn’t wipe his hands of the blood, switches the dagger to his off hand and grabs his spear as he looks at the other three of his friends. Darkness in his eyes, face and body language as tears pour down his face. Two walk off the third says “We don’t recognize you either”. Thyn screws his eyes shut and more tears come as he bolts for the ship.

They’re on the ship and just as he’s about to go down below deck to disassociate in his room and consider his life choices Hawkins the BBEG comes up from below deck to be right in front of him.

And in his head Thyn thinks he’s a monster. And the fucked up thing is that he wishes he hadn’t faked his death cause then this wouldn’t have happened. And he did so to avoid actually dying cause of him being vocal about everything that the military dictatorship is doing and how it needs to change. So he basically wishes he was dead. But also doesn’t cause then he wouldn’t be here.

He wants to be free. Whether that’s through death or letting go is another matter all together

[lndenmeres]

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝.

❛ all you did was fucking betray me. ❜ ❛ am i not allowed to have a conversation with someone? ❜ ❛ any time i touch him, his willy gets hard! ❜ ❛ but thank you. for your opinion. ❜ ❛ can i have my sunglasses back, please? ❜ ❛ congrats, hun. ❜ ❛ do you want me to rap? lighten the mood a bit? ❜ ❛ fuck you, basic made in chelsea reject bitch! ❜ ❛ he’s a fucking boring bastard. ❜ ❛ s/he was just too deep for me. s/he kept asking me deep questions like, i don’t know, what’s your favourite animal? ❜ ❛ i am the fuckboy whisperer! ❜ ❛ i can smell fear on you. i like it. ❜ ❛ if i possess a lot of qualities of someone you’d want to marry, why are you kissing someone else? ❜ ❛ i licked her tit, or whatever. ❜ ❛ i like cows, too! ❜ ❛ i look at those freckles every day, and i see a new one, and it becomes my friend. ❜ ❛ i’m a fucking weapon! ❜ ❛ i’m caught up in his dicksand! ❜ ❛ i’m like one of those easters eggs that’s been fridged for too long. you can’t crack me. ❜ ❛ i’m loyal, babes! ❜ ❛ i’m in a bit of a pickle. ❜ ❛ i’m just a bit moody about it! ❜ ❛ i’m not your hon, hon. ❜ ❛ i saw a picture of you kissing another girl! ❜ ❛ i thought it was you, cause s/he actually smelled like you, as well! ❜ ❛ it’ll be interesting to see if you’re all mouth or not. ❜ ❛ it’s not a test for me, it’s a test for you – and you failed! ❜ ❛ i want him to sit on my face. i don’t know how that would work, but i want it. ❜ ❛ i want to be the person who gets up and makes everyone a coffee so everyone’s ready for the morning. ❜ ❛ i was coming back here to tell you i loved you. ❜ ❛ may the best heartbreaker win. ❜ ❛ mister fucking boyfriend! fucking fake dickhead. ❜ ❛ my vagina is throbbing! ❜ ❛ obviously stormzy is a big name, but i’m/you're also a big name. ❜ ❛ oh, i’m sorry, but that ain’t on! ❜ ❛ stop making out s/he’s a clairvoyant! ❜ ❛ suck my dick! ❜ ❛ that’s love island. and that’s life. ❜ ❛ that’s not true! … alright that is true. ❜ ❛ what was your thought process behind that? ❜ ❛ what part do you not understand, the fuck or the off? ❜ ❛ you don’t care about boys, you just follow girls. you’re just a girl follower. ❜ ❛ you make me feel like a rainbow. ❜ ❛ you’re a bit of a diva. ❜ ❛ you’re a liar! actress! ❜ ❛ you’re alright to look at. you’re fucking personality stinks. ❜ ❛ you’re as fake as the louis vuitton from china. ❜ ❛ you say you’re a gentleman, how is that gentlemanly at all? ❜ ❛ you’ve made your bed, now lie in it. ❜

[introspectivememories]

i’m so sorry but i cannot stop thinking about this and i cannot have another wip so here’s like what’s been rattling around in my head for the last 24 hrs

so if i was writing this it would be from a general outsiders pov. smth smth about how i think people expressing different emotions is endlessly fascinating 

okay so it comes out not as a big thing but like everyone’s at the manor, tim and bear snuggled into each other on the couch, and all the kids are talking about their time as robin

and when it gets to steph and tim’s turn, they don’t explicitly say it but bear’s smart, he can put the pieces together.

he doesn’t notice how still he’s gotten until he realizes tim’s been calling out his name

“-ar? -ear? bear!” / “tim?” / tim’s concerned face blocks out everyone else. the room has gone silent, everyone staring at bernard.

“hey, you okay bear? you zoned out on me.” 

“steph,” bernard says, voice barely over a whisper. his eyes are full of unshed tears. he looks at her like she betrayed him and try as she might, she doesn’t understand why he’s looking at her like that.

“steph,” he repeats again, “you started the gang war? the one that killed darla?”

everyone else goes stock still. tim exhales like he’s been punched in the stomach, “fuck.”

that seems to be all the confirmation bernard needs because turns over to tim next.

“did you know?” / tim doesn’t respond. / bernard laughs and it’s ugly. all broken and grief-tinged. / “fuck me. tim you knew, didn’t you? you fuckin’ knew! and you introduced me to her?”

“bear please-” / “no! no. i can’t believe you.” / bernard stands up and gathers his things. not making eye contact with anyone he mutters, “i- i have to go.”

tim rushes after him, “bear wait!” / the halls echo. “look tim, i’ll see you at home. have fun with your family, okay?”

tim comes back to the living room, fists clenched at his side, “fuck. fuck!”

dick jumps up to comfort tim, “hey, hey. i’m sure bernard will understand. he’ll forgive you.”

“you don’t get it dick. darla was... god i don’t even know how to explain it, but he’s not gonna forgive steph.”

and tim disappears into his room.

anyway he goes home, and it leads to one of the biggest fights tim and bernard ever had.

“i can’t believe you knew and you didn’t fucking tell me! how could you?”

“she means a lot to me. i didn’t want you to hate her right off the bat.” 

“so i’m just supposed to forgive her?” / “no! just-” / “’just’ what? ‘just’ what tim?”

“she was a kid!” / “so was darla!”

bear returns to the manor and he says nothing. tim and him are okay, bernard acts like his usual self around the family. everyone thinks he’s made peace with it.

but if you look closely, bernard acts like his usual self with everyone but steph. he’s ever so slightly colder to her.

he doesn’t respond to her texts as quickly anymore. their talks are more clipped than usual. basically he’s pulling away.

and this goes on for a While. like by the time steph catches on, everyone has known for a while and they’re just not saying anything 

finally steph corners bear one day after patrol. / “steph, steph” tim says, trying to stop her, “c’mon don’t do this. not right now.”

“what is your problem?! you don’t answer my texts, you barely even talk to me. what the hell did i do?”

bernard scoffs, “you think you’d get the hint. maybe i don’t want to be friends with the person who got darla killed.”

“is that what this is about? god, bernard, i’m sorry okay! i was a child, i didn’t mean for the situation to get so out of hand. it was a mistake!”

“a mistake?” bernard says, voice like ice, “a mistake is writing down the wrong answer on a math test. a mistake is forgetting your third layer in the gotham winter time. a mistake is not starting a gang war cause you had some insane need to prove yourself!”

“my best friend is dead because of you. was she a mistake?”

“i-”

“do you know how many people died that day? do you even realize the sheer tragedy of what happened?”

“there were about 3,000 students at Louis, 467 of them died. that’s almost 14% of our school! everyone knew someone who had died.”

“and coming back was like walking into a graveyard. ghosts around every corner.”

“so don’t talk about it being a mistake. not when we spent the rest of that year and every year after it trying to outrun our ghosts.”

“elisa peck, sophmore, watched her boyfriend take a bullet to the head. amaan taylor was on the football team, senior, had dreams of going pro. took a stray bullet to the knee, ruined any chance of him playing football again.”

“billie barrett, oskar ingram, april duffy! all these kids could’ve lived but they bled out waiting for medical help.”

“iilya mikhailov was 14, a freshman. had asked me where mrs. ajam’s class was on the first day of school. i had to step over his dead body to exit the school when help finally arrived. so don’t talk to me about it being a mistake, steph.”

“so no, steph, i can’t forgive you. not when i watched the life slip out of darla’s eyes. not when i had to sit there, covered in her blood, and desperately try to reassure her that she was going to be okay. not when i had to sit there and tell her about how we were gonna go to the beach that weekend and all the other plans we made that she was never gonna get to do!”

“not when i had to pry nirmal’s fingers off his classmate and then hold him as he broke down.”

“not when batman came and i knew it was too late for darla. not when they proclaimed her dead in the back of some ambulance. not when i went home and had to scrub my best friend’s blood off my body.”

“and newsflash steph, we’re not heroes. we don’t get second chances okay? civilians get one chance at life. april duffy isn’t coming back because i punched thriugh dimensions. darla isn’t lost in the time stream. she isn’t in africa recuperating. darla is dead and i have to live with that everyday.”

“my best friend is dead because of something you started. so no, i can’t forgive you. no i don’t want to forgive you.  i don’t want to be your friend. i want anything to do with you. but you mean a lot to tim, so you mean something to me as well. so i’m doing the best i can to coexist with you.”

bernard’s eyes are tired and exhausted, tears still dripping steadily down his face. 

“let’s just coexist okay? we don’t have to talk. we don’t have to be friends. we just exist next to each other.

it’s tim who breaks the standstill first. steppimg in between them, tim reaches out to cup bernards face. / “hey, hey,” he whispers softly, “let’s move somewhere else okay. let’s get you somewhere safer.” / and he whisks him away to library.

god i love steph but like i do need to know bernard’s reaction when he learns that steph started the gang war. the gang war that killed darla. 

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine being Azula’s friend but secretly dating Zuko behind her back

One of the first things you and Azula bonded over was your annoying brothers. Azula told you how her brother had stolen one of her best friends away from her and you related to that. Your twin brother was none other than Sokka of the water tribe, who was also very popular with women. Most of the women you knew liked him, from Yue to Toph to Suki to Ty lee! It sometimes felt like you were the second attraction in a friendship and so you and Azula quickly became close over your shared frustrations.

Then....you betrayed her.

Well, betrayal is a bit dramatic but maybe not given how upset she'd been when Mai and Zuko started dating. You knew that had been hard for Azula to process.  How difficult it had been wondering if her friends really liked her or just wanted access to her brother. So when you started liking Zuko you didn’t plan on acting on it at all. Then Mai broke up with him. 

Zuko was around at yours quite often, whenever he visited the water tribe he stayed in your home and when you visited the fire nation he extended the same hospitality. So throughout the years, you just naturally got closer and closer until....it happened. You started hanging out just the two of you and these occasions felt very date-like until Zuko just outright asked you out. You liked him and told yourself one date was fine, what harm could a single date do? But then as you kept seeing each other and one date soon progressed into many many more you knew your time to do the right thing and tell Azula you were dating her brother was approaching. 

However the idea of doing that idea terrified you. You guessed Azula wouldn’t take it well and didn’t want to lose your friendship with her because of your relationship with Zuko. You wouldn’t break up with Zuko just to make her happy but you also didn’t want to lose Azula’s friendship, so when Katara’s birthday arose you were fairly nervous. There was going to be a large party and all of Katara’s friends were coming...which included Zuko and Azula. You hadn’t been together with everyone since you and Zuko started dating so you had no idea how it would feel. The whole time you and Zuko would have to convincingly act like you weren’t a couple and not make anyone at the party suspicious of the two of you. So when Zuko’s ship got in you fixed your eyes on Azula and tried not to stare at him any more than usual. You greeted him formally and didn’t admire him as you usually would. You fell in step with Azula and decided just to focus on her. It wasn’t hard, you were best friends and very close...however fate was not on your side. You got seated across from him at dinner which felt like some sick punishment and struggled not to get lulled into conversation with him. It didn’t help that Zuko was in a playful mood. He kept making comments about the things you’d done on your date and then sending you sly looks across the table. When you met his eye he smirked blatantly and you lightly kicked him under the table. That only made Zuko chuckled and look adorable so you sighed and decided to just keep your eyes down the whole time to survive dinner. 

However, Zuko had no intention of stopping his teasing. After dinner you set about preparing the party for Katara tomorrow and having sent Sokka, Aang, Suki, Azula and Toph on their assigned jobs turned to your job of decorating. You were hanging streamers in the living room when you felt a hand curl around your waist. “Need some help there?” Zuko asked moving closer and he leaned up over you to hang it. “I could have done that myself” you smiled turning to face him and Zuko shrugged “I know you could’ve, but then I wouldn’t have been able to do this”. Zuko gently kissed your neck trailing down to your collar bone making you sigh. “Zuko...stop” you said faint heartedly and Zuko sensed that smirking "I don’t want to and you don’t want me to either, I can tell by how softly you said my name" he smiled "it’s been so long since we’ve had any time together". Your skin erupted in goosebumps and a shiver went down your spine as Zuko pressed closer against you. But you knew how badly this could end if literally anyone walked in. So swiftly you grabbed Zuko’s hands and twisted your way out of them. You held them tightly in one hand so he couldn’t try and slink around you again and used the other to make him look at you "Zuko we can’t okay, not on this trip. God knows i want to, i’ve missed you too but there’s too much that could go wrong i’m sorry". Zuko sighed but nodded his head "don’t worry i understand". Zuko’s shoulders sagged and you knew your insistance on keeping this quiet was difficult for him. "Thank you for understanding" you said hugging him quickly "i know it can’t be easy for you and I appreciate the effort you're going to for me". Zuko smiled resting his head on top of yours "it’s fine, i’d do a lot more for you if you asked but promise me it won’t always be like this....we will tell everyone soon?". You gulped but nodded pulling away "i promise, i will tell Azula...soon!". Zuko nodded “I believe you” and let his hands drop away from you. Not a moment later Sokka and Aang appeared in the room making the two of you jump. “Zuko just the man we need! We were thinking of making an ice sculpture, fancy some fire bending?”. Zuko nodded “sure” and with a last glance to you left the room. 

Hours later the party preparations finished you returned to your room which you were sharing with Azula for her visit. “Sokka made me blow up balloons” she said angrily “something about fire benders being full of hot air”. You smirked at your brother’s nerve when Azula’s next sentence wiped it off your face.  "Also I think Zuko’s dating someone again" Azula said softly and you paused. "Ow really?" you asked and she nodded "he’s been spending a suspicious amount of time in the southern water tribe lately. Lots of visits which he claims are diplomatic but I can’t work out what he actually does here! He doesn’t know that many people and so it got me thinking, y/n do you think your brother and mine....". "No Sokka's still with Suki" you said shaking your head. Azula sighed “and it’s obviously not Katara, she and Aang are basically married, have you seen him hanging around anyone else? He doesn’t know many people so it should be easy to spot". You paused pretending to think but were really just trying to buy yourself time. "Honestly i don’t pay much attention to him when he visits" you said cleverly covering your back "but i will from now on and let you know". "Thank you y/n" Azula smiled. You smiled back relieved Azula didn’t suspect anything and let out a large breath you’d been holding for this entire conversation. You were now more than ready for sleep and got into bed hurriedly. You laid your head on your pillow and closed your eyes utterly exhausted. 

"Goodnight y/n" Azula called and you nodded. You were very sleepy and after a long yawn smiled "good night Zuko".

You realised the name you’d said seconds after it came out of your mouth. 

You froze

As did azula.

"Did you just call me Zuko...". You blinked "did i? I’m sure i said Azula". Azula was quiet for 2 seconds before she shot up "it’s you!" she cried "you're the one my brother’s dating!". "No Azula that’s crazy!!! We'd just been discussing Zuko, that’s why he was on my mind!". Azula shook her head "you're lying! I can tell by the tone of your voice! You’re the new girlfriend aren’t you?". You sighed "Azula i’m sorry i was going to tell you...". "I can’t believe you" Azula yelled and suddenly the door opened. "What’s wrong?" Sokka and Zuko asked bursting in “we heard yelling” and Azula glared. "You! Couldn't just have Mai huh? Had to take another one of my friends? How about when you’re done with y/n you try things with Ty lee?". "Ow she told you...." Zuko frowned awkwardly. "No i worked it out!” Azula spat “Y/n accidentally uttered your name because she’s so lovesick" Azula cried "you both make me sick" and she strode away slamming the front door hard as she exited the house.

After Azula left you all looked at one another unsure what to do or say next. "So...you two are a thing?" Sokka asked and Zuko paused "yes...is your reaction going to be as bad as Azula’s or can i go deal with her?". Sokka shook his head "go deal with her before she burns the village down”. Zuko went to move past Sokka when your brother put a hand to his chest "but come back and see me after, me and Katara will want to talk to you about dating our sister". Zuko surprisingly looked intimidated and nodded "I'll be right back". "Zuko wait i should come too" you called "this is as much my fault as yours". Zuko nodded "let’s go" and led you outside into the cold night after Azula.

You found Azula trekking in the snow and as she wasn’t in proper shoes you gained on her quickly. “Azula!” you called and she jumped. She looked around and glared “ow look the happy couple, how nice of you to grace me with your presence”. Zuko rolled his eyes “only you’d be so attention-seeking to make this about you”. “Attention seeking? Who’s the person who can’t form his own friendships or respect boundaries? No always have to date my friends, is it some weird way for you to gain power over me? A sad way to boost your ego?”. As Zuko and Azula went to square up to each other you stepped between them. “Alright enough the both of you! Zuko please go back to the house, i’ll handle this”. “But she...”. “Zuko please” you said sharply and he nodded “fine” and with a glare left. You watched him go before turning back to Azula. You’d been about to suggest you go home given that Azula was surely freezing out here in the middle of the night but Azula broke into a rant. "Everyone leaves me for him" she cried "Mai! My uncle! Mother! Even my father...after i was smarter, a better fire bender, more loyal and younger he still gave Zuko every little chance and only crowned me after Zuko literally ran away! When will i be good enough people don’t just choose him without a second thought for me?". "Azula i didn’t choose Zuko over you! Just because i like Zuko doesn’t mean i don’t like you still". "That may be true but this changes our friendship completely, it did with Mai! People always prioritise their partners over their friends so i’ll be second best once again". "Are you kidding?" you asked "Azula now i need you more than ever! Relationships aren’t when you ditch your friends, they’re when you need them the most! Who else are you going to go to for a break or a nice getaway? Who else is going to support and love you in only the platonic way a friend can? Who else can i complain about Zuko to when he annoys me or we fight?" you asked "they’re all things you need your friends for! Desperately and that’s going to be the same for me". "But when Mai dated him...". "But i’m not Mai" you smiled softly "Azula we are good friends, i won’t sideline you because of this. You mean just as much to me now as before i started dating Zuko". Azula huffed but you could see her melting. "So...how about we go inside, get some warm milk and talk a bit more about this huh?". You offered Azula your hand and she took it but she didn’t stop there. Azula threw her arms around you and hugged you tightly. "I’m partly doing this for the cold but thank you" she said softly "nobodies ever tried to make me feel supported when they've chosen Zuko, they just tell me to deal with it but you’re the first to try and reassure me and so i know you mean it, to still be my friend". "Of course" you smiled "you're my best friend!". Azula smiled and linked her arm through yours "i like that!”. 

Zuko stared in awe as you and Azula returned grinning. "How did it go is everything okay?". You nodded "your extremely cool sister is fine with it". "Yes i thought this would be a great way to have an inside scoop on you zuzu". "She’s kidding i won’t talk to her about you...a lot". Zuko blinked "okay if everything's okay then i should go speak to Sokka and Katara, they’re waiting for me in the kitchen". Azula smiled "that’s a good idea, when you come back zuzu find me, i have some threats about what will happen if you hurt my best friend". You smiled at Azula and stepped to Zuko "good luck but don’t worry Sokka’s all bite, Katara’s the one to look out for but she has a big heart, just tell her how good a time we’ve had and you’ll be fine". "Good tips, any for my sister?". You smiled "Azula is one i have not worked out yet" you grinned "but i’m sure you’ll manage, you are the firelord after all". Zuko smirked and you patted his shoulder "after your appointment with my brother and sister and then your sister....you could always come find me in your room?". Zuko smiled "is that my motivation for surviving this?". You shrugged "you can think of it as that" and stepped away from him. Zuko watched you before sighing "alright let’s get this over with” he said loudly and strode towards the kitchen.

You turned back to Azula who raised an eyebrow at Zuko’s sudden confidence and she frowned. "Do i even want to know?" Azula asked and you shook your head "no". “Ow and don’t worry if I’m not in our room tonight”. “Euch Y/n!” Azula cried and you shrugged “what? I didn’t say why”. “I know why” she sighed before she smiled “at least I can have your bigger bed”. “Be my guest” you smiled, you had a firelord to get reacquainted with. 

[whumpzone]

Linden & Colton - 19

(masterpost)

CW: references to noncon, Col fearing he'll be sexually abused, flashbacks, brief victim blaming, pet whump, dehumanisation

-

Linden’s phone buzzed again, and he knew exactly who it’d be before he even looked.

Sure enough, messages from his brother were crowding his phone screen. Vikram texted in small, frantic messages, that Linden found oddly funny.

lol fine knowing you you’ll never suggest a day

are you free tomorrow? I’ll come over for lunch or something

you know you miss me!!

Linden rolled his eyes, but truth be told, he did miss him. A new message appeared before he had the chance to start typing.

fine FINE I just want to see jaffa. you can die idc

That made him huff out a laugh, but he’d never give Vik the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, he typed back:

Tomorrow is fine, don’t worry about bringing food. What are you doing now? Can you ring me? I have something to tell you before you visit.

Vik replied almost immediately.

yeah gimme 2 secs, who have you killed lol!

He checked around for Colton, but he was nowhere to be seen. Probably still working his way through the little chores and tasks Linden had given him, which meant he was either changing the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom (great for dexterity) or watering the balcony plants (providing plenty of fresh air and sunlight). Either way, he still positioned himself in the corner of the lounge, the furthest from his Pet’s ears.

He answered on the second ring. “Vik?”

“Hey, big man. You alright?”

“Yeah… yeah… I, um, I need to tell you something before you come over.”

“You sound tense, mate. What is it? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine it’s just- I have a Pet. Uh. Yeah.”

Vik didn’t miss a beat. “Are you serious? You, a Pet owner? Please.”

“I know, but there was this, this ad, in the paper, the council were talking about this random stray and they said if no one claimed him they were gonna put him down. They would have murdered him, Vik! And I don’t know. I just thought, fuck, no one else is gonna do anything are they. So I rang them up and they gave him to me for free.”

“Wow,” Vik said, a placeholder while he digested all of that. “So, how is he?”

“He’s alright, yeah. Only recently learned that he could speak. He’s still really really jumpy.”

“He’s scared of you, then,” Vik translated.

“Yeah. I don’t know how much of him you’ll see tomorrow. I’ll tell him it’s alright if he just stays in his room.”

“I can’t picture you as a Pet owner, even though you’re not a proper one.”

“Not a proper one as in I’m a good person with a soul?” Linden quipped. Vik snorted.

“Basically. Ew, it’s weird! He does whatever you say! But you’re just- you’re Linden. You’re my stupid baby brother. He should be telling you what to do.”

Linden smiled. Vik always put him at ease. Difficult topics seemed to flow off him like water off a duck. “Yeah, yeah it is kind of weird, I’m still getting used to it. But you see why I wanted to let you know beforehand.”

“Oh, yeah, totally,” he laughed. “Or else I might have thought he was burgling your house and I’d have asked to join in.”

“Oh, shut up. See you for lunch.”

“See you, Pet man!”

Linden felt the weight lift from his shoulders, but not entirely. Now he had to tell Col.

. . .

He had finished over ten minutes ago. Shiny drops of water still lingered on some of the wider leaves, not quite ready to drop into the moist soil below. But the balcony was too warm and sunny to resist, so Col was still kneeling there when he heard Master’s voice behind him.

He flinched hard at the sound, getting up quickly and ungraciously, tripping over his own feet as if he hadn’t just been caught lazing around.

Through the doorway, a perfect rectangle of light caught Master’s face, cutting down through one eye and turning his left cheek a tawny brown. He had his hands clasped behind his back, and leant forward slightly.

“Don’t worry about getting up, you’re fine, love. No, I don’t know if you heard, but I was just speaking to my brother Vikram over the phone. He’s going to visit tomorrow.”

Master was having a guest. Col nodded, but his mind went white. He suddenly felt like he wasn’t in control anymore. He was underwater, and Master’s voice barely faded through from above the surface.

“You can stay in your room, okay? You don’t have to come down and see him, if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”

The words flowed past his head, and whatever barriers had been pulled down over his mind kept them from making a dent. “Thank you, sir,” his body replied.

“Okay?” Master half-smiled. “Okay. Good stuff, Col. It’s a nice day- stay out on the balcony more, I know you like it there. I’ll see you later, okay?”

He nodded, but it must have been delayed, because he blinked and Master had left the room, as if he had never been there. Had Col dreamt it?

Turning around, the flowers were wet, so he had completed that task. He knew he had been ordered to stay, so he did, trying to keep the creeping dread from flooding him entirely.

But-

The next day-

It all came crashing down. His eyes snapped open and he was in his room, waiting, and then there was the click of the front door and Master was speaking, speaking with another voice- there was a man in the house-

Master only ever had guests when his Pet had been bad, and he was going to be taught a lesson, and that’s why he was told to wait in his room, that’s why he was prepped, maybe it was a small mercy. But he had been in such a state of denial, barely able to process the news, that he hadn’t done anything to make it hurt less.

All he knew was that he was on the floor in the corner, the furthest one from the bed, and his arms were wrapped around him as if that’d do anything to stop the onslaught. He knew they would just force his limbs apart and restrain them like that until they were done, and it didn’t matter whether he cried and begged. Sometimes they even enjoyed it more when he did. Once he had been lifted up by his throat and told to beg for his life, and it made everyone laugh, because look at it, it wants this, it’s begging for it.

The door handle turned and Col could see Master’s face. His eyes scanned the room briefly before they landed on Col, tucked away in the corner of the room. “Col? What is it?”

. . .

Hey, Col. Vik is here, just so you know, but again, no pressure to come downstairs. He knew what he would say, the tone he’d say it in, so he could hopefully make Col feel secure. But it all fell apart when he laid eyes on the Pet, curled up and trembling on the far side of the room.

“Col?” he said. “What is it?”

“You promised,” Col sobbed, utterly betrayed. Linden’s heart broke. “You promised you wouldn’t- wouldn’t- wouldn’t do that…”

“I won’t,” he said, understanding immediately and wanting more than anything to go over to Col and pull him into a hug. But he couldn’t. He knew that.

“You said you wouldn’t let anyone else,” he whispered, looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.

Then- the moment of vulnerability passed. Not that Col looked any less vulnerable. He was still hunched, small and weak, programmed to do whatever it took to make Linden happy. But he caught his tongue, and the mask slipped back on.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You can do- do what you want to me. Of course. I’m not, I don’t mean to question you, Master, I’m sorry, I know my place, I’m good, I promise I’m good.”

“You are, you’re really good.” He put a hand over his heart and kept it there. “I’m not going to come in, Vik isn’t going to come in. Neither of us are going to hurt you. I promised, and I’m sticking to it.”

Col was still sobbing, but it was more uneven breaths than actual tears. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to with the way his lungs were pulling the rug from underneath him.

“For now, I think you might feel safer if I just left you alone, so I’ll go back downstairs, okay? And I won’t disturb you again. You just make sure you feel better, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry, Col. You’re safe.”

-

Vikram didn’t say anything as Linden returned, but he did raise his eyebrows. Linden just nodded, keeping quiet until he was sat back down and, hopefully, out of earshot.

“Poor thing,” said Linden. “He thinks, well- he just sees everything as a threat. I don’t know if he’s ever had a positive experience with another person before. At least not in his memory. Did you…”

He trailed off and Vik simply nodded. All humour was gone from his face; he knew when to leave it out, and when it would help. “Yeah, I heard a bit of it. Heard him crying.”

“I don’t want you to take it personally-“ Linden started, but Vik had already swatted at him.

“Oh, stop it. As if I would. But I am- I am happy I’m here, even though I’m sorry it’s scared him. You need someone too, Linden. Like, shit, this is a full time job.”

“You sound weird, being nice to me” he smiled weakly. Vik grinned back at him, in complete earnest.

“Well then, we can talk about something else, if you want. Something I can confidently mock you for. Where’s Jaffa, too?” he twisted around in his chair, searching for her. His floofed-up hair, hairsprayed to excess, bobbed around on the top of his head as he went. “Where’s my little main attraction?”

Soon Vik had Jaffa on his lap where he was brushing her absent-mindedly, listening to Linden talk about the latest book he had read.

“You are a fuckin’ hermit, dude.”

“And?” Linden pulled his best bored-looking face.

“Well… actually, yeah, stay indoors. Forcing you to come drinking with me would be at the rest of the pub’s expense.”

“You’re a bastard,” Linden laughed. “It’s you they should be worrying about, with that boulder of hair on your head. Look at the state of it, it crunches when you touch it.”

“The ladies love it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they know if they get locked out they can use it to smash a window.”

. . .

Above them, Col listened. He couldn’t make out the words, but both men seemed happy and upbeat, excited about the night ahead of them, excited about the pliant little bitch waiting upstairs.

Before that, though-

Colton had been openly defiant. He had begged for it to stop before it had even started. He hadn’t taken an ounce of pain, nothing had earned him the right to plead for mercy. He had not only been insubordinate, but he had done it while Master had a guest. That kind of embarrassment would not go unpunished. Master would not have his authority undermined by some common stray.

Col desperately needed to apologise. He knew he shouldn’t just wait for his punishment like usual this time. This time he needed to right the balance. He would prove that he knew his place, and show Master’s guest that his rule here was absolute. So with shaking hands, he slowly creaked open the door, and went downstairs.

The laughter died as he came into view, and even the feeling of their eyes settling over his body made his skin prickle. For a split second, his feet locked in place, but as usual his fear pushed them onwards. He kept his head down, his arms behind his back, his shoulders hunched. As soon as he reached Master’s feet, he knelt. Forehead to the floor. Hands to his sides, ready to be stomped on or grabbed. He was a slave. He was always open for his Master’s use. He did not answer back and he did not question.

“Col, are you, are you sure you want to be here?” Master asked from above. He was very sure. But yes, of course, it was no use Col thinking these kinds of affirmations in his head. He had to make them clear.

“I’m here to apologise, sir, for daring to answer back and embarrassing you. Your Pet knows that he is owned completely and it was c-completely wrong to question you. I had no right to ask for mercy, I don’t deserve any. I’m a mindless Pet with no free will and I exist to serve you. P-Please, accept th-this apology. It won’t- won’t happen again.”

He stammered, towards the end. He could only hope Master wouldn’t get angry about it.

. . .

Ironically, it was now that Linden was embarrassed. He glanced over at Vik, and as the two brothers made eye contact, it was as if they had exchanged a whole conversation.

You see, see what I mean? See how he is?

Yeah, dude. It’s fucked up.

I’m sorry.

Don’t be. You’re doing your best to help him. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.

He gently reached down to Col and rested a palm on top of his head. He jerked in surprise, a weak gasp escaping his lips, but he otherwise stayed perfectly still.

“Okay, love. Thank you. I’m not angry, okay? My brother is here and he always puts me in a good mood.”

He shot another glance at Vik, mouthing this is how I make him understand. Vik nodded. He was looking at Col curiously. Linden wondered if this was how he had pictured him.

“You didn’t embarrass me. You’re fine. I’m not going to hurt you. Vik doesn’t want to hurt you either. Why don’t you go and sit on the balcony, and I’ll sit with you later, and pet your head? You’re not in trouble.”

As he retracted his hand Col’s head tilted upwards, chasing the warmth of the touch. He kept his eyes low, but whispered, “Thank you, sir, thank you, thank you for having mercy. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Okay, you’re okay. Let me help you up.”

It was technically an order, and Col obeyed silently, offering no resistance as Linden slipped a hand over his elbow and pulled him to his feet. He smiled at Col, but his face was blank and resigned. Beyond fear. He had done what he could, and his fate was in Linden’s hands once more. It hurt to know that. Linden could decide to leash Col at any moment, torture him with knives and burning oil and belts, and Col wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Linden steered him to the base of the stairs, and then gently encouraged him upwards, until he had drifted out of sight entirely.

The house was silent. He turned back to Vik, but neither had to say anything. Linden already knew that he understood.

-

first half of the taglist!

@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread

@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate

[kacchananti]

Bakugo’s apology & The Speech — thoughts on ch. 322-325

The way this panel was set up really speaks volumes about how the next few chapters played out. It’s obvious these three were meant to have the biggest impact on Deku returning to UA and realizing he was in the wrong for what he was doing. It makes sense, considering all three of them are Deku’s closest people in a way -- Uraraka and Iida, who were his first real friends and allies at UA, and Bakugo, who’s always been one of the most important people to Deku and his longest friend.

First we have Uraraka, who’s front and center in the panel -- she’s the closest one out of all three of them, which makes sense considering the speech she delivered that moved not only Deku but the civilians as well, and that will more than likely be a catalyst in how the civilians see heroes and the sacrifices Deku made for everyone at his own cost. 

Her speech also delivered a very important message to Deku himself, and that is that he himself is not special, but the power he wields is what’s special. By saying that, Uraraka meant to emphasize that no one person can carry such a heavy burden like Deku was trying to do, because no one person is special enough to be able to do everything alone.

Next there’s Iida, who’s more in the background of the panel because he had a ‘smaller’ role in getting Deku back, but it was just as impactful. Iida’s words to Deku were a direct callback to what Deku said before they fought Stain. Back then, Deku told Iida that they were friends so they should count on each other and depend on each other for help when they need it -- he basically told him not to carry the burden of of what happened to his brother by himself. 

When he later came to rescure him from Stain, Deku also told Iida that being a hero meant giving help that wasn’t asked for. Those words clearly made a big impression on Iida and stuck with him and changed how he viewed himself as a hero. 

By repeating those words to Deku, Iida connected their current situation to a previous one where their roles were reversed, and that’s why Iida’s words had the impact they did on Deku. Because back then, Deku was the one who had a huge impact on Iida and ultimately being told what a big difference his words had on his friend is what also showed Deku that he did matter to people and it was important for them to do this thing together. 

The way Bakugo is positioned in the panel is interesting. Uraraka was placed closest in the panel, so she was closest to the reader’s point of view, but Bakugo is leaning forward, which means he was technically closest to Deku. i say this is interesting because I’m sure it was deliberate -- from Deku’s pov Bakugo ended up being the closest, and his impact in this situation was the biggest. 

After so much hardship their relationship faced, from being friends to being estranged, to rivals and finally back to friends, Deku finally go an apology from Bakugo for everything that happened between them. 

The reason Bakugo’s apology was so impactful as well is because, just like Iida’s words to Deku, it was a callback to a lot very personal moments to Deku and to their relationship. Bakugo began his speech by telling Deku how he had a “my body moved on its own” moment when they fought Shigaraki, something he didn’t get to tell him before Deku left UA. He wanted to tell him that he reacted instinctively to save Deku, just like Deku did for him all those months ago. 

We already know Bakugo’s sacrifice parallels Deku’s from chapter one, so that was a really big moment for both of them and for their relationship. 

He goes on and tells Deku what we already learned in ch284, that he always looked down on him but it was really just his own weaknesses that he was forced to face, as well as Deku’s strengths that made him feel inferior. This is something Bakugo has been carrying for a long time but he never told Deku he felt that way. 

Up until this very moment, Deku had no idea that Bakugo was threatened by him or jealous of him and that was the real reason he pushed him away. In the end, Bakugo closes his speech by saying that saving people is how they win against their enemies, verbalizing the fact that he realized his own ideals about winning to save were wrong, and that what they should be doing was saving people in order to win, which was what Izuku admired in All Might. 

Those words probably hit hardest for Deku because in that moment Bakugo wasn’t just saying he’s sorry, he was telling Deku that he was on his side, he would fight by his side. This quote is a callback to dvk2, when All Might told them that together they could be the greatest heroes, and Bakugo’s words here are confirmation of that and an invitation for them to fight together and win. 

That was the moment when Deku truly and fully realized that he did need to fight with the others by his side, that he couldn’t do it on his own because without Bakugo -- without everyone else, too -- he couldn’t be the greatest hero who saves everyone and wins. 

Now you might think that Bakugo’s apology wasn’t actually that impactful, since Deku hasn’t reacted to it or even addressed Bakugo after it, and with both Iida’s and Uraraka’s speeches he’s had a very emotional reaction. But the reason he hasn’t reacted to Bakugo’s speech isn’t because he doesn’t care -- it’s because he cares too much. 

Keep in mind that Bakugo was the most hurt out of everyone when Deku left the school, because Deku didn’t just go out recklessly on his own, but he also left Bakugo behind. Bakugo was the only one up until that point who knew about ofa, who was helping Deku train his quirk and who was fully in on the secret with him and All Might. When Deku left, everyone was worried, but Bakugo was betrayed. And it’s likely that Deku knows this, which is why it’s probably hard for him to fully focus on Bakugo right now. There’s a lot of things still unresolved between them, a lot of things they both still need to say. 

But I’m positive we’ll get Deku’s reaction to Bakugo’s apology soon, and it’ll probably be the most emotional moment they’ve had yet and I for one can’t wait to see that conversation.