#and basically if Bowser stops kidnapping Peach; not only does it show less that he likes her in a sense as it reduces how obsessed he is

[heloflor]

You know, considering that new untitled Peach game is a bit like Luigi’s Mansion with how it puts a Mario character in a new environment with new game mechanics, I’m kinda hoping Peach gets her own original villain the same way Luigi was given King Boo.

Hell, with Super Mario RPG coming back, which has many original characters, and with the characters from the Peach teaser being something other than Toads, it seems Nintendo might be willing to dip their toes into original characters again. So what’s better to start making new characters than by giving Peach her own bad guy ! Also the new Mario Bros game has some new characters as well from the looks of it, so again, it’s possible !

And don’t get me wrong, Bowser is absolutely iconic and I do enjoy the irony of Peach battling against him. But with this game not being a platformer, and again taking into consideration Luigi’s Mansion, it would be a fun change of pace for Peach to have a new villain in her own series (god I hope this game becomes a series of several games!!!). Plus, it seems Peach will be more and more playable in mainline games, meaning more Bowser beat-up from her anyways.

And yes, part of me wants that new villain to be a female character as it's been forever since Mario games has had one and I am very much aware of how people would go crazy over it for the shipping.

(Also going back to Bowser, it’s more of a “me” thing but I always found it slightly weird to see Bowser attack Peach, since he’s supposed to be in love with her (Paper Mario games prove it well) and in all the games she gets captured, there are no indications he ever raises a hand on her. Hell in Odyssey he’s very gentle when putting Tiara on Peach’s head. Also Peach is never particularly afraid of him despite how horrible he can be, which implies he doesn’t physically hurt her.

Fun fact : this is why I headcanon Super Princess Peach as taking place very soon after Super Paper Mario, since the two of them would have just spent weeks working together and getting along. So it would work for Bowser to lose his shit upon getting rejected yet again “despite doing everything right” and thus be willing to fight her. As for 3d World, there’s three other people Bowser can focus on to avoid hurting her)

[gale-gentlepenguin]

So there is more. But my dream was less cohesive, so I’m doing my best to put it in order

-the Game was called: Mario and Luigi: Family Links

-So bros attacks are still the same. And Bowser Jr. has his own special attacks called Koopaling Kombos. So throughout the game, The koopalings get saved and join the team, giving bowser Jr. a special attack.

-I don’t remember the names of all of them, but the last one actually allows Bowser Jr. to use all of the Koopalings at once. Called Jr’s Parade.

-Peach and Bowser actually get a LOT of hilarious banter. Including Bowser commenting on how being kidnapped sucks. To which Peach is hilariously snarky about it.

-Peach actually does ask why Bowser constantly kidnaps her. To which Bowser tells her a bunch of reasons. Like destabilizing the kingdom to help him take over, so her magic powers don’t interfere with his plans, that’s she’s pretty, that he wants a good mom for Junior. Peach does says some reasons seem more honest than others.

-Bowser confirms that the Koopalings are not his biological children. That they are actually just Koopas that were abandoned. So he took them in as his generals. He even states that they are like his kids and hope Junior learns from them.

-Peach asks who Bowser Jr.s mom is and before he responds one of the guards shows up. But Bowser looked nervous about the question.

-Peach confirms that She and Mario are close. Peach compliments Mario. Calling him brave, daring, and determined. She also says she likes his mustache as it makes him look distinguished. Though Bowser comments that all that fat plumber does is eat her cake. To which Peach’s response is that he does so much more than that. (I’m pretty sure there’s a dirty joke, but it’s a kids game so they were clever with it)

-Peach confirms that Luigi is considered the Handsome brother by several individuals , but he’s not her type.

-Peach does comment that she appreciated that bowser does give her a decent room to wait in until Mario arrives. But then asks why he puts her in a cage when he arrives. Bowser answers for dramatic effect.

-Peach comments that Bowser could live in harmony if they stopped attacking. But Bowser said that peace gets boring. That tennis and baseball can only entertain for so long.

-the game lets you actually decide what dialogue peach and bowser talk about in certain cutscenes. (Or you can skip)

-Mario, Luigi and Bowser jr. Do have a combination attack, they have 3. Basically it’s like a limit break, but it changes depending on who uses it.

-if Mario uses it, it’s called “Fireball Frenzy” it does fire damage and gives the team a boost in attack.

-If Luigi uses it, it’s called “Jumping Jam”

It boosts the speed and evasiveness of the team and does jump damage.

-If Bowser jr. Uses it, it’s called “Shell shocker”

Basically does a lot of shell damage, ups the defense of the team, and lowers the other teams defense. This one does the least damage.

-So the Koopas with strange markings were called Terroopas. They are fierce loyalists to Towzer and spent years in hiding, preparing to bring back their former ruler.

-So after Towzer got sealed away, most of the Koopas had split off from Towzer’s kingdom. It was actually when Kamek arrived with Bowser as a baby did the koopa kingdom mostly unify. Bowser apparently also brought other minions into the fold, such as Goombas, hammerbros, boom booms, and that’s what made Bowser’s reign so much more accepted.

-Towzer was much more cruel and never respected his minions. It was fear that put them in line. Kamek was his advisor, back when he was younger.

-Bowser jr. Actually learns manners from Mario and Luigi. And his interactions with the brothers is actually quite sweet.

-Bowser jr. Favorite food is Honey cover Drumsticks.

-Junior says he only eats his veggies because his dad said it helps with breathing fire. (This is actually a lie, according to Kamek but begs the Mario bros not to tell him)

-The Terroopas believe Bowser is an unfit heir to Towzer as he brought in Non-Koopa’s to the kingdom. Calling him soft.

-Bowser comments on how dumb the Terroopas are. “Only wanting Koopas in your kingdom is lame. Why only have one group serve under you when you can have everyone serve you?” Bowser is against racism.

-Much like how there are goombas and other koopas unaffiliated with Bowser and are considered good guys. There are actually Toads that support bowser. They call themselves TOBs. (Toads for Bowser)

-Kamek tries to rescue bowser alone and ends up getting captured. It’s where Kamek tells Bowser and peach about Towzer.

-Bowser does not know how to handle this information initially.

-The Terroopas actually do free Towzer, who after getting beaten out of Bowser, uses magic to inhale them and become his giant self.

I had a dream that there was a new Mario and Luigi game (but it wasn’t the one coming to the switch)

Basically some group of Koopa’s with strange markings showed up to the mushroom kingdom and Kidnap Peach. Taking her to the ‘Lost Kingdom’

Mario and Luigi believe Bowser was responsible and was shocked to find out he wasn’t. But also Bowser gets kidnapped!

So Mario and Luigi teams up with Bowser Jr to rescue Peach and Bowser.

Bowser Jr. had a gimmick that he’d help traverse the kingdom with his clown cart that got upgrades as you traveled.

It’s revealed that the main villain is actually Bowser’s father’s. Who was sealed inside a crystal. Bowser never knew this.

Apparently Bowser’s dad was a real monsterous guy that even most of his supporters didn’t like him, and they worked with the previous Royal of the mushroom kingdom to seal him away. It was Kamek that helped seal him away.

Bowser’s Dad, Towzer was planning on using Peach’s power to break his seal and then take over his Son’s body.

The whole story was giving talks about fatherhood and family. It was actually really endearing.

Towzer actually does get free but Bowser resists being controlled… until he says he will go after his son. Then he capitulates.

Towzer transforms bowser to look more like Giga bowser. It’s actually really cool.

Mario, Luigi and Bowser Junior beat up Towzer and free him from Bowser… and becomes a gigantic monster.

Thus we get the Bowser Junior giant mech battle. With bowser helping in the fight.

Towzer gets defeated for good.

Bowser talks with Kamek about his father, saying he understood why Kamek never told him about him.

“He was actually really pathetic. Using Me to try and live longer. If he was so weak to be sealed away he isn’t worth crying over. I’d never leave my son alone.”

And it was a really sweet end to the story with Peach making them all a cake. Which Bowser gets to taste.

But then he tries to kidnap peach again and the cycle starts again. But Bowser Junior thanks the Mario brothers for their help and that today he won’t help his dad. But next time, he will.”

[thelandofffanfictrash]

Real Talk: Puzzling the Competition

Name: Puzzling the Competition

Fandom(s): Undertale and Super Smash Brothers

Chapters: 9

Description: Fandom called, spaghetti answered.

Summary: Papyrus and Frisk are recruited into the Super Smash Brothers tournament scene in another riveting collection of stories written by our good friend Beanus.

Beanus, Beanus, Beanus.

Who here remembers the part of “Bonetrousle” where a dimensional portal opens up only to immediately close again because Beanus had no idea what to do with it?

This fic is the alternate reality where that portal actually goes somewhere...and boy do I wish I made that up.

So, this being another Beanus masterpiece, it retains a lot of the same problems that “Bonetrousle” had. In case you don't believe me, though, I'm going to review this fic the exact same way I did the last one. Here we go.

STORY 1: Becoming a Smash Brother (Chapters 1-3)

A portal opens up and Papyrus calls Frisk over to investigate with him because Sans is too lazy to. Frisk quickly gets sucked into the portal, though, and Papyrus follows. They are then greeted by Master Hand and asked to participate in the next Super Smash Brothers tournament. After a bit of back and forth about Frisk being a pacifist and how the tournament uses special technology blah blah to make sure none of the fighters are actually hurt during a fight, Papyrus and Frisk accept (because we needed this fic to work somehow). Meanwhile, everyone else back home understandably freaks out about Papyrus and Frisk being missing. They are also visited by Master Hand and there's a lot of arguing (mostly about how they're going to keep up contact because that's the big issue here I guess) before everyone is eventually cool with what's going on (because we needed this fic to work somehow). Master Hand then magically gives them a special TV channel that lets them see what Papyrus and Frisk are doing, which immediately airs a special trailer for them involving a fight with Ganondorf, Bowser, and Wario and I can't tell whether or not it's supposed to be staged or real. The trailer is unrealistically long and terribly superfluous, but it's eventually over...but not before a final scene showing an obviously Chara-controlled Frisk that makes Sans feel horridly unsettled.

STORY 2: Settling In (Chapter 4)

The term “story” is used VERY loosely in this sense. Basically, Papyrus and Frisk arrive at the Smash Mansion and start interacting with some of the residents...which mostly consists of Frisk having a run-in with Dark Pit, then having flexing contest with Pit once he and Palutena come along. Nothing really important happens at all and there's no conflict throughout any of this. It's another case of that infamous Beanus filler, folks.

STORY 3: Sans is Upsetti Spaghetti (Chapter 5)

Sans has a confrontation with Master Hand over Chara that ends with absolutely no resolution to either side's problems. All that really happens is Sans yells a lot.

Also, toward the end of the story, Papyrus and Frisk show up in Peach and Rosalina's dresses. In the context of the story, this comes completely out of nowhere and is never explained, making it an utterly pointless, unfunny, forced “joke”. In the next chapter's author's note, though, Beanus clarifies that this is actually a reference to something that was scrapped from the story. This only serves to make that part even LESS acceptable, as there was once a context there that got taken out because...who knows???????? It's frankly infuriating.

STORY 4: The Year of Luigi Never Ends, Does It? (Chapter 6)

Papyrus and Frisk notice that Luigi is having self-confidence issues (even though the whole thing is triggered by Luigi being scared of Papyrus???), so they try to help him out. Frisk picks the lock to Luigi's room, then Papyrus barges in, then Papyrus and Frisk tell Luigi he doesn't have to be scared of them and apparently that fixed everything...but that still doesn't stop Papyrus from making Luigi run self-confidence laps anyway (shoehorned reference, anyone?)

The big problem here is that nothing actually gets solved here. The conflict is over way too quickly and nothing about it seems realistic. Beanus also confuses low self-esteem with cowardice and thinks that fixing one will automatically fix the other. Unfortunately, Beanus, that's not how that works.

STORY 5: ...um???? (Chapter 7)

Lucina and Robin think that Papyrus is a...zombie or something? (please don't kill me I don't know Fire Emblem) and he's kidnapped Frisk. Meanwhile, Papyrus is on a quest to make the perfect spaghetti and has a frankly inconsequential conversation with Dark Pit and Palutena in the process because I guess Beanus just likes Kid Icarus that much. Then, as Lucina and Robin get ready to ambush Papyrus, Papyrus rushes out of the kitchen and accidentally severely injures Robin. That's it.

I actually had to read this story a couple times over to actually get what was going on because I'm not savvy on either Fire Emblem or Kid Icarus. Without knowledge of those things, though, a lot of this story falls flat on its face. Maybe it's just me, but I find this to be the most throwaway story in this entire fic. Period.

STORY 6: Another Fire Emblem Reference I Don't Get (Chapter 8)

It's an April Fools story. Granted, it's a lot better than Beanus' LAST attempt at an April Fools story, but it's still another annoying story with an annoying running joke that's only “funny” twice before it starts to grate on your nerves. As for the plot, it's...something. First, Papyrus asks Corrin to try his spaghetti. Next, Papyrus misconstrues Corrin's words to make an extremely forced “unintentional” unfunny sexual euphemism that goes on for way too long and just makes me uncomfortable (and makes me remember when Beanus did essentially the exact same thing back in “Bonetrousle”). Next, Papyrus brings Corrin a bowl of soup to try to make her feel better because he thinks she's sick. Finally, Corrin proposes to Papyrus and they get married.

I would guess that this whole thing is a reference to some kind of friendship/romance mechanic in Fire Emblem, but, once again, I wouldn't know because I don't know a lot about Fire Emblem. That doesn't matter too much, though. All that matters is I didn't much care for this story on its own merits. The final plot twist comes out of nowhere and, while I get that this is an April Fools story and it's not meant to be taken seriously, I feel like I'm meant to take the entire rest of it seriously and it only makes the ending all that much more awkward.

STORY 7: Sick...of Beanus' Crap (Chapter 9)

This story features Frisk getting sick and Papyrus trying to do all he can to help. He calls in Rosalina to assist him and she tells him to make chicken noodle soup. Papyrus then goes to Corrin to help him make the soup (to which Corrin gets extremely flustered because apparently the April Fools story actually turned out to be a dream of hers she desperately wishes to forget...which means we both have something in common). Rosalina ponders the mysteries of Frisk (to no conclusion) before Papyrus comes back with the soup and Frisk starts feeling better.

That's it. That's everything this fic has to offer. You see what I meant now? From the weird pacing to the forcing things to happen just because Beanus wants them to without any real logic to the horrible running jokes to the terribly unfunny jokes, this fic really does line up well with Bonetrousle's problems. The only thing it's missing is the rock lady eating all the hotel furniture.

I'm not quite done yet, though. No, I actually have problems with the way Beanus portrays Papyrus and Frisk's actual game mechanics. By himself, Papyrus is fine. It's when we add Frisk into the equation, though, that things get...horrifically OP. Frisk can jump in by Papyrus' side at any time during the battle with a random attack each time, being comparable to an assist trophy or something to that effect. The problem is that assist trophies are relegated to items for a reason. By having an assist trophy you can call out at any time, you essentially always have a free partner. On top of that, Papyrus doesn't have one singular final smash. Instead, Frisk calls out whoever they want to perform a random final smash tailored to them (both Sans and Chara are shown and they both do completely different things, Sans' being an overpowered mess of a move that always hits all opponents and Chara's being more comparable to Marth's or Lucina's final smash). With all these things, it's VERY clear that Papyrus has a very big balancing problem.

*whew*

That's done.

Overall, Puzzling the Competition was a huge mess from an author who I knew made an even bigger mess already. It seems that, at one time, janky Papyrus-centered fics just so happened to be Beanus' specialty.