#and basically charlie being so confused because his life isn’t his life

[astros-silly-place]

me: incoherent rambling about how this is somehow my favorite scene from genloss period

normal people: hey, how’s it going today is a beautiful day to go outside

[phykios]

Review: We Find Out The Truth, Sort Of

As the season winds down, amidst all the discourse, I realized something: Percy might not be the main character of his own show. In fact, depending on how the finale goes down, I think I can make a pretty solid argument for Sally being the main character. 

I recognize this may be contentious but I absolutely love TV Sally. I love how raw she still is, how the struggle of single parenting weighs her down, how much she adores her son and tries and sometimes fails to fight her feelings of anger and loneliness to be the best mother she can be. I think Krull is killing it and I might be a stan for life. 

Here’s the issue, though–I’m thirty years old. 

Am I the target audience for PJO TV? What even is the target audience? What I thought at first was a more deliberate, mature pacing and tone might have melted into the general, family-friendly slop that plagues all recent Disney productions… or it might actually be the deliberate, mature pacing and tone that I thought. I really can’t tell, which is part of the problem. 

What’s strangest (not necessarily in a bad way) to me is that, thinking over the last seven episodes, the overwhelming theme has been… how hard parenting is. Again, it’s a weirdly adult theme for a TV show based on a middle-grade novel. Not that the theme wasn’t present in the books, it was just obviously more of a background coloring, rather than being something Percy actively and consistently thought about. 

Certainly, the colorlessness of the show isn’t helping matters. Beyond just night lighting being bad, the actual color editing is so gray and lifeless that even well-constructed cinematography isn’t able to save it, and its absence just confuses the tone even further. Again, this is a problem across a significant percentage of Disney live action products, from Marvel to Star Wars and the shit awful remakes. I could go on about Disney ruining film lighting and color-grading, but the deeper issue here is that the creative team behind PJO is just not taking advantage of the medium of visual live action. Which is a shame. Again, I point to The Lightning Thief musical’s overwhelming earnestness and sincerity, fully leaning into itself as a piece of musical theater, which has different strengths, weaknesses, and requirements than literature or film. “D.O.A.,” for all its silliness, takes advantage of its limitations and celebrates its uniqueness, and it’s disappointing to see that the same initiative isn’t present here for PJO TV. 

I was kind of joking last time, but Charlie Bushnell, I need you to be so good next episode. You might actually be my last hope. 

Stray thoughts: 

Swapping the zoo truck heart to heart for Procrustes was still a bad idea, and I’m glad they basically zoomed right past it. Also, who was it who said that they should have used the stretching to cover up for Walker’s growth spurt, because LMAO

Regarding Annabeth’s regret, I firmly believe it’s about her father. This also fits with her book storyline, where she decides to give her dad another chance.

“Is this…?” “No.” “I mean it looks like–” “IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT” I love Aryan’s delivery so much here

I like to imagine that TV Hades is just grown up Nico. 

I predicted that this episode would end on a pre-fight cliffhanger weeks ago, and I was right! You can ask Darkmagyk, she was there. I know how television works!

[camrynsthoughts]

snippet: basically a whole lot of daddy issues.

If myself as a child knew the people who were no longer in her life anymore, she’d have a lot of questions. I came across a photo of me from a family vacation last night. It was dated December 24th, 2008. I was eight years old and I was surrounded by my family; My mom, dad, aunt, cousin, grandma and grandpa. I remember so vividly all of my family sitting in the living room area of the resort condo that Christmas Eve. We had that small Charlie Brown Christmas tree instead of a big, traditional tree that year. I was so excited to wake up the next morning, open presents, and be surrounded by those that I loved. If only eight year old Camryn knew..

If eight year old Camryn knew that majority of those people were strangers to her now, I don’t even want to know what she would think. I probably would’ve acted un-phased because, well, that’s what I ended up doing once each person left my life one by one. I acted like I could care less. But growing up, that was far from the truth. 

If eight year old Camryn knew her whole life was going to flip upside down just a year after that vacation, she would be semi shocked. I mean, her dad has left before. So it wouldn’t be totally shocking. But he always ended up coming back home, eventually. If eight year old Camryn knew the last time he left he’d never be back, I wonder if she would’ve answered his calls. I can’t help but wonder if things would’ve went differently between my dad and I’s relationship. If eight year old Camryn knew that those following years when ten and eleven years old that she’d be dodging her dad’s phone calls to speak to her, she wouldn’t understand why. What she wouldn’t know is he was going to leave without saying a single word. And it remained that way for a whole year. 

If eight year old Camryn knew she was going to go from being “daddy’s girl” to only having her mom in the picture as her caretaker, she’d probably feel weird... It’s sad because before the age of eight, I have no core memories with my mom. I really was conjoined at the hip with my dad. I could list several core childhood memories with my dad still to this day, but absolutely none with my mom. I hope that eight year old Camryn had core memories with her mom as well, and not just her dad. I hope growing up has just made me forget those core memories with her and that I only remember the ones with my dad because he isn’t here anymore..

If eight year old Camryn knew that the last time she saw her dad was that next year, right before Christmas, she wouldn’t understand what exactly changed in that year span. How could that happen when we were all together as a family, happily enjoying the holiday together? What I didn’t know is that behind the scenes, there were problems that I’d never understand until I was older. It wasn’t just, “Dad needed to go to Canada to deal with family issues,” it was, “Dad has a drug problem and spent all of our household money on his sick, life-destroying addiction.” Eight year old Camryn didn’t know what addiction was. And I’m happy she didn’t, just yet. 

Years passed and eventually, he wasn’t a being anymore in Camryn’s child brain. Years without communication does that to a person, and the rest is history. At least I thought.

If nineteen year old Camryn knew she was going to get the most life shattering news of her life, I wonder if she would want to go back in time to make nine year old Camryn answer those phone calls. “I’m sorry to hear what happened by the way Camryn,” said my uncle to me after not seeing him for years and years. “What do you mean?” She was so confused. What could this man be even trying to reference? I mean, my uncle was around when my father left a decade ago. This wasn’t new information to him. He repeats again, “I’m sorry to hear about what happened with your dad.” There I was standing at the top of the staircase, staring down at him and my grandma side by side looking up at me. I was so lost. “What happened..?” I asked, confused as can be. “I’m sorry to hear that he passed away.” My heart dropped out of my body. I remember nineteen year old Camryn, standing at the top of that staircase, absolutely speechless trying to stutter out a word. My grandma realized I was stunned, fuck, my whole body probably went pale in that moment. “I'm sorry Cam I though you knew.. Didn’t you know?” she asked, looking up at me with this blank stare in her eyes, barely any sorrow or feelings showing on her face. I stormed into my room and absolutely lost it. I was shaking, sobbing, absolutely speechless. I finally got a hold of my mom since she was at work when this all went down. “Camryn, he didn’t die. If he did, I’d sure hope we’d know and at least have some money coming our way from that fucker.” 

If ten year old Camryn knew that one day she’d be told her father passed away a decade later after still not speaking a single word to each other, I think she would’ve sucked it up and answered his phone calls. She would’ve opened her heart and realized, this man wasn’t a stranger. He might've been then, but he wasn't before. She would’ve given him a second chance. That news, which was fake, rocked nineteen year old Camryn to her core and ten year old Camryn would've done anything to resist situation that from ever happening. 

Me, twenty two Camryn, still battles with these thoughts. She goes on with her life, pretending she never had a father because I mean fuck, it’s been fourteen years. At some point you just get so used to not having someone in your life that it’s better to continue without ever letting them back in. But sometimes she remembers that moment when she was nineteen, standing at the top at that staircase. She remembers how much of a mess she was, yet she can’t even put her finger on how exactly she felt still to this day. I mean, she was devastated but she still can’t figure out why exactly. You’re the one who didn’t let him back in. You’re the one that refused to speak to him when he called. You’re the one that’d ignore his letters and his messages over Facebook. So how dare you be upset when told he died? Wasn’t he already dead to you? 

Was he already dead to me? Eighteen year old Camryn would’ve answered yes. Twenty two year Camryn wants to still answer yes, but I really don’t think that is true. How would I have felt if that news was true? How would this change my life going forward if it actually did happen and he wasn’t alive to this day? I’d feel regret. I know I would. And I think that’s the best way I can explain how I felt in that moment staring down and my uncle and grandma relaying this unexpected “news” to me. 

I should’ve answered those calls. If I were to call him now, would he answer me? Or should I expect to be treated the way that I treated him and our now nonexistent relationship the last fourteen years? And more importantly, can I somehow find it in my heart to reach out first, before one day it may be too late? Eight year old Camryn would know this answer best, and I wish I had her help right now. She’d do a lot differently; If only she knew. 

[riverstardis]

fatal error part two:

tried to take a bite of my toast right as lofty threw up🥴

it’s difficult because we as the audience know exactly what happened and can go back and check if we want but it’s totally understandable that lofty and dylan don’t remember exactly what happened in the moment

ethan looking up huntington’s :( cal also did that and like even though they both clearly already knew what it is and what the symptoms are i guess it’s completely different looking at it as a doctor vs possibly being the patient

cal’s not shown up for work because he’s with emilie. you gotta feel bad for ethan because every time cal skives off, the consultants act like he’s personally responsible for him😭

iain and lily are covering a pride event and he’s on the phone to dixie

i was gonna say i swear this is set in february which seems like a random time for a pride event but then i remembered february’s lgbt history month so nvm makes sense

diane’s mum going “standard procedure? you mean when somebody goes to work and ends up dying?” at this hospital? you’d be surprised😬

“let me spell it out for you: used to be a chick, now she wants a d—“ HELP😭😭

emilie’s here and ethan’s treating her

i’m confused as to how much everyone else knows because when she and cal come in louise calls ethan over but then zoe’s like no ethan i should take this before she gets pulled away elsewhere so zoe obviously knows who emilie is but louise doesn’t? but in the following few eps all the staff seem to know she’s their mum?

emilie has aspiration pneumonia :( that’s the most common cause of death for people with huntington’s

she keeps trying to talk to ethan but he just ignores her and explains the medical stuff only

“when you’d made up your mind about something, you used to hold your breath until you got your way. once, he did it for so long he passed out. scared the life out of me” aww i can imagine that as well sjdkd

he shouts at her to stop it😥 and then of course charlie gets mad at him🙄 charlie worstie don’t act so surprised you could’ve very easily predicted he would have this reaction to her you shouldn’t even be letting him treat her

this poor guy’s childhood best friend getting mad every time dylan and the others treating him call him robert instead of his deadname and they just ignore her and carry on sjsjdjfkf shut the fuck up girlie

louise went to get cal’s post and the gene test results letters there😬 also in the pile is a magazine called “hotties on holiday” which cal denies is his SKDKFKKF

ethan comes in and asks louise to leave so he can speak to cal alone and she’s like “okay but look after him because he cried like a baby when zoe relocated his arm. kind of turned me on. is that wrong?” and ethan’s like “… yes” HELP

ethan going “you have no idea what it’s been like for me these past few weeks” to cal is kinda funny because obviously cal does know because he went through exactly the same thing when he found out BUT cal isn’t acting like he knows is he? yeah he went through exactly what ethan’s now going through but now that he’s through it he’s acting like ethan doing exactly the same thing is unreasonable. god they both need so much therapy.

“ethan, you should’ve called me, we could’ve helped each other” you could’ve told him earlier and then you could’ve helped each other

cal’s managed to engineer his way into a situation where he’s the sensible one for once😭

why is this girl just reeling off transphobic one liners like this😭

“this is all because of mum isn’t it? you were never there and now you’re trying to make up for that” yeahh cal tries to deny it but his reaction says otherwise

charlie fairhead shut the fuck up for once challenge

“ethan, emilie’s your mum. the longer you go on denying that the harder you’re going to find this” he isn’t denying she’s his biological mum though is he?? he just still considers his adoptive mum his mum

like his mum is dead and charlie’s basically telling him to just replace her???

“y’know, our biological mother is dying and it’s cal i’m more worried about. can you believe that?”

i think charlie’s pep talks work a lot better with cal than they do ethan tbh. with cal he hits the nail on the head and usually manages to help him but he doesn’t seem to do a very good job figuring out what ethan’s really thinking and where he’s coming from

ethan tells cal he thought about what he said about emilie not wanting to die in hospital and he’ll ring round some hospices and he’ll tell connie that they’ll both need some time off and cal thanks him and ethan’s like “that what brothers are for” see it only took him 2 weeks to undisown him sskdkd

“pride. it’s like gay christmas” so true

lofty ends up in a lift with diane’s mum and she starts talking about her not knowing that he was with her :(

dylan and lofty🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

aww lily’s wearing a pride pin on her scrubs

this is the point where lily starts to associate with iain

aw charlie and connie are watching cal and ethan with emilie from outside resus and charlie’s like “those lads have come out of this really well, i hope your proud of them” and connie says “i am. but if you tell anyone, i’ll deny all knowledge of it” sjdkkkf

see what confuses me about that though is that connie clearly knows what’s going on so you’d think the thought that they could have inherited huntington’s would have at least crossed her mind but when ethan tells her in s32 it doesn’t seem that way? then again iirc it does cut from him initially telling her to them talking about how cal got him tested without him knowing so i suppose maybe she was shocked initially but then what wasn’t shown was her being like oh yes i remember that your birth mum had it

[forabeatofadrum]

All of me loves all of you

Summary: Matteusz has known that Charlie's an alien for a while now. Yet, he never stopped to think whether Charlie actually looked differently. Charlie does. And he wants to show Matteusz.

Notes: Class fic? In MY 2024?

Hey, yes, hello! I've actually had this idea since 2022 and here it finally is! I just love that shot in Tonight We Might Die of Charlie and Quill, looking non-human, and decided that that is how they actually look, not like how April imagines they could look. And that led to this!

The story takes place AFTER season 1 of Class, but honestly, I didn't put too much effort in wondering what happens after all of that.

Enjoy!

AO3

--

Matteusz is wondering where it all went wrong.

He’s lying on his side, watching Charlie.

It all started out alright. The two of them were high on energy and, quite frankly, extremely horny. Quill once again isn’t home, so it all worked out for them. They went to the bedroom, laughing and kissing and undressing each other.

But at one point, the winds changed.

One moment, Matteusz was being kissed by his boyfriend, and the next, the warmth was gone and Charlie had rolled off him.

Matteusz waits for Charlie to say something. He doesn’t want to push, but he’s very confused. He watches Charlie. Charlie looks a bit upset and tense, but it’s not a panic attack.

“… Charlie?” he says and slowly reaches out.

“No,” Charlie just says.

“Okay,” Matteusz says back and stops reaching out.

“I mean, yes.”

“Okay?” Matteusz can’t hide his confusion, “Touch. Yes or no?”

“Yes,” Charlie answers certainly, which reliefs Matteusz.

“Do you want to talk?” Matteusz asks.

Charlie moves his head so that he faces Matteusz.

“I just really, really like you.”

That makes Matteusz smile.

“I really like you too,” he says back, but to his surprise, this only makes Charlie frown.

“No, you don’t. Not really.”

Matteusz tries to suppress a sigh. Is this still about all the stuff during detention? That was weeks ago, but Matteusz can understand that it takes longer than that to accept that Matteusz said that he’s sometimes afraid of Charlie, and everything that happened afterwards doesn’t help.

“Charle, we-”

“It’s not that,” Charlie cuts him off, understanding what Matteusz is trying to say.

“Okay?” Matteusz is confused again, “Then why don’t I like you?”

“You like… this!” Charlie’s still lying on his back, but he moves his hands around in weird movements. Matteusz tries to understand what Charlie is saying.

“Okay?” Matteusz repeats.

“This. This ‘Charlie’ and this body and this… façade!”

“I already know you are alien,” Matteusz says and he aims for light-heartedness, “Do you want to tell me again?”

“No!”

“Okay.”

“I mean, yes!”

“Déjà vu.”

“I’ve just been thinking about this ever since we helped April disguise herself as human,” Charlie laments. April is still in a body of the Shadow Kin, but they found a way to make her look like herself. That’s the solution for now, while everyone tries to find a way to save her. “But we all know she isn’t human… anymore…”

“I do not follow.”

“I’m not human.”

“I know.”

“No, I mean, I don’t look like this.”

Oh.

Matteusz looks at Charlie’s body and it has never occurred to him that this was a disguise as well. This is Charlie. This is all he’s ever known. And by now Matteusz knows that there are enough aliens that look human (or maybe humans look alien, who knows), so he never questioned it.

Right.

“Charlie Smith is a name and a body, basically assigned by the Doctor, to make us blend in,” Charlie sounds frustrated, “And I don’t mind, really, because I’ve found out that the human body is quite neat, and Charlie Smith is apparently a very basic name, but it is mine now, but it wasn’t always like this.”

“Then what is the problem?” Matteusz asks. He’s happy to hear that Charlie is genuinely content with this life.

“I just, if we are together. I love you. I want you. I feel like you should know the truth.”

“I know now.”

Charlie huffs out some air. Huh. Air. Does he actually need it?

And Matteusz slowly gets why Charlie is so frustrated, because it’s true, Matteusz doesn’t know these things. Did Charlie have another name before? He must have. And if he’s Rhodian, what does that mean for his body? Charlie once said that his heart is close to his abdomen, but Matteusz thought that he meant it metaphorically.

“You can show me, if you want,” Matteusz says, “If I do not know you, I want to know.”

After a beat of silence, Charlie nods.

But-

“Close your eyes.”

“Charlie-”

“Close your eyes, Matteusz.”

So Matteusz does. He doesn’t understand why he has to, but he does understand that this is a big moment for Charlie, so he wants to make him comfortable. He even flips to his other side, so Charlie knows he cannot peek.

Charlie’s side of the mattress dips. Charlie’s become heavier. Does he even change size?

“Okay,” Charlie says after a while. It’s still the voice Matteusz knows.

Matteusz flips back, with his eyes still closed.

“Okay?” he asks, to be sure.

“Yes,” Charlie says.

Matteusz slowly opens his eyes and-

Well.

He doesn’t know what to think, to be honest. He tries not to look too shocked, since he doesn’t want to upset Charlie even more, but this is definitely not something that Matteusz expected. Charlie has flipped to his side, so that Matteusz can see it all and it’s a lot.

The best (and probably worst) way to describe Charlie is “fishy”, as in, he makes Matteusz thinks of a fish.

He’s still humanoid. Matteusz can see a face with eyes and a nose and a mouth. Charlie has hair on his head and it’s blue for some reason. His ears are pointed. His chin has an interesting shape as well. It has spikes. There are arms and legs. Hands and feet. The proportions are a bit different, but they’re all there.

His eyes are the same, though. They’re Charlie’s eyes.

But his skin… it’s grey with dark blue spots and it looks glimmery.

“Can I?” Matteusz reaches for Charlie’s face.

Charlie nods.

Matteusz expected Charlie’s skin to feel rough, but on the contrary, it’s incredibly soft. It’s weird, to be honest. It’s soft, squishy and gooey. Matteusz is afraid to put too much pressure on it, because he doesn’t want Charlie’s skin to suck up his hand. He isn’t even sure that can happen, but it just reminds Matteusz of those slimey toys.

Only Charlie’s spiky chin feels rougher.

Matteusz slowly moves his hand from Charlie’s cheek, down to his thick neck and shoulders, and then to his hands. They’re webbed, which doesn’t help with the fish comparison. Matteusz can no longer interlock their fingers and for some reason that thought really upsets him, so he moves down even more to Charlie’s hip and upper legs. It’s all the same gooey feeling. He cannot reach further down without having to reposition himself, so he rests his hand on Charlie’s tight.

If it’s called a tight.

After all, Matteusz is comparing this body to Charlie’s human one.

“Hello,” Matteusz says.

“Uh. Hi?”

“My name is Matteusz.”

“Charlie,” Charlie says back, “Or actually-”

Some inhuman noises come out of Charlie’s mouth. Matteusz’s eyes widen. He also did not expect that.

“Could you repeat?”

Charlie does and Matteusz tries to register it, so he can try saying it, but it sounds too unfamiliar. He can’t comprehend it. It doesn’t sound as a language to him, and he’s used to speaking and comprehending a completely different language than his own.

“You cannot speak it,” Charlie says, sensing Matteusz’ confusion, “Rhodians can reach tones and other sounds that humans cannot. I would know. I also cannot do it when I am in my human body.”

“But you can speak human now.”

“Human language is just very basic,” Charlie says and luckily, he smiles. Matteusz is able to see Charlie’s teeth. He still has teeth. Matteusz expected them to be sharp and scary, but it’s close to human teeth.

“We are basic,” Matteusz says back, “But if you are in human body, are your thoughts in Rhodian?”

After all, Matteusz’s thoughts are always in Polish, since that is his language. That’s the best way he expresses himself.

“Yes, because my mind is still the same,” Charlie explains, “And my mind understands Rhodian. Yours doesn’t.”

“Can I learn?”

After all, Charlie is learning Polish and it means a lot to Matteusz.

“I actually don’t know. I do not have a human mind.”

Right. Yes.

Of course, Charlie’s mind has never been the same as a human one. It’s another thing that sounds so obvious in hindsight, but Matteusz had never thought of it. He knows Rhodians have other beliefs and thoughts, but of course they don’t have to process them as humans.

Speaking of minds, this is mind-boggling.

“So. What do you think?” Charlie asks eventually.

Matteusz doesn’t know. It’s weird. It’s incomprehensible. It’s uncomfortable and unsettling in a way. Charlie’s Rhodian form is exactly what Matteusz would describe as ‘alien’. Charlie isn’t a silly green guy with a big head and completely black eyes, but it is so different.

When Matteusz imagined Rhodia, he always envisioned Charlie looking as human, and all the other Rhodians and Quills as well. Matteusz’ entire view of Rhodia is warped around right now. His entire view of Charlie has changed.

Matteusz rubs his thumb on Charlie’s new tight and it feels wrong, if he’s being honest.

And he’s scared.

Fuck. A part of him is shocked and scared. He’s already been scared of what Charlie can do and what Charlie can want. He doesn’t want to be scared of the way he looks too!

But that is also because this is unlike anything he’s ever experienced. It’s not a simple culture shock, which is what he experienced when he moved to England. This is completely, totally, different and weird. And if Matteusz is having this uncomfortable reaction towards Charlie alone, he can’t imagine how it must’ve been for Charlie to immigrate to this planet with all these human bodies around him.

“It is different,” Matteusz says.

“Ah.”

“But I can get used to it,” he adds.

That’s what Matteusz hopes, at least. He wants to try. It feels wrong, but only because it goes against everything he’s ever known. He just has to adjust his beliefs. He’s been doing it ever since prom, ever since he found out aliens are real. He can keep doing it.

Matteusz puts his other hand on Charlie’s body as well, which makes Charlie gasp in shock.

“Okay?” Matteusz asks, to be sure.

Charlie nods.

“You can touch me too, if that makes it less weird.”

“I already know every part of you.”

“Still.”

So that’s what they do. It feels a bit awkward. They’re just touching for the sake of touching. Matteusz finds more spiky parts between the gooey parts.

“Tell me if I do something wrong,” he says, because he also cannot comprehend how it must feel for Charlie if someone were to, for example, rub over a spike.

“I will.”

Matteusz takes it all in. It really is overwhelming, but also good. At one point, he can’t help himself. He cups Charlie’s spiky cheeks, which feels really weird, and kisses him.

Charlie is taken back and moves away.

“Okay?” Matteusz asks.

“Yes,” Charlie says and his cheeks turn an indigo shade, “Just didn’t expect that.”

Matteusz kisses Charlie again. These Rhodian lips aren’t soft at all. They’re hard as well, as if Matteusz is kissing concrete. It’s weird and unsettling, but Matteusz can also get used to this. He’s kissing Charlie, and that’s enough for him to love this. It’s Charlie, the alien boy he loves and Matteusz decides that he really loves all of him.

Matteusz tries to roll them over, with Matteusz on his back and Charlie on top, but Charlie stops him.

“No. I am way, way heavier now,” Charlie explains, “I would crush you.”

“I do not want to be crushed.”

“That’s what I thought,” Charlie says with a smile and leans in to kiss Matteusz again. They keep kissing and kissing and kissing and yes, Matteusz really can get used to this. It might take a while, but Matteusz wants it to be okay, so it will be.

--

Matteusz wakes up. He didn’t realise he’d fallen asleep, but he did. Charlie is sitting at his desk. He’s still his Rhodian self, and he’s wrapped some towels around him.

“Charlie?”

Charlie startles and looks back over his shoulder.

“Hello, sleeping beauty,” he says.

“Did you… shower?”

Charlie looks down.

“Oh. No. Rhodians wear the same kind of clothes as humans, but none of my human clothes fit me. It’s too weird to be naked, so this is second best.”

Matteusz props himself up on his shoulders.

“Do you no longer have your old clothes?”

Charlie shakes his head.

“It’s fine. They were royal garbs. I don’t think I ever had a chance to develop my own style, so I don’t miss them. I like my human clothes way more!”

It still saddens Matteusz a little bit. Apart from that cursed Cabinet, Charlie really had nothing. And the Cabinet��� well… they all know what happened there.

“Does it bother you, that you had to change totally?” Matteusz asks.

Charlie did say he was fine with it, but Matteusz can’t help but wonder. Every time he hears stories of people who forcibly and unexpectedly had to leave their homes, his heart aches. His family willingly left and had time to plan what to take with them, and he still misses parts of his previous home a lot.

Especially now that he got kicked out of that new second home as well. Maybe he should find the courage to at least go back and get his stuff.

“It’s… okay,” Charlie says quietly, “It is sad and I wish it didn’t happen this way, but it did. I am Charlie now.”

“Did you choose the name?” Matteusz had never wondered this before.

Charlie shakes his head.

“No, as I said, the Doctor did. He said Charlie is very simple and he named me Smith after this friend of his,” Charlie explains.

Ah yes, the mysterious Doctor. Matteusz now lives in his house and he’s never spoken to the Doctor directly.

“It is an easy name,” Charlie says, “So to make it easier to blend in here.”

It’s definitely easier than Singh, or Adeola, or Andrzejewski.

“And I know I can change it if I want to,” Charlie continues, “That’s what the Doctor told me. Humans can change names freely.”

“I suppose,” Matteusz says. Even if it won’t easily be changed on paper, it can always be changed in everyday life.

“But I don’t want to change it. I choose Charlie as my name. And this body-” Charlie extends his arms and looks at them, “-is mine, but so is my human body. It’s actually quite nice that I can change so easily. It’s nice that I can be Charlie when I want to be. Or when I don’t want to be the sad Rhodian prince whose entire species got murdered. I can just be an ordinary Coal Hill student. But it is also nice I can show you this.”

“I don’t mind,” Matteusz says and he means it.

If Charlie wants to walk around his own house as a Rhodian, then he can. Quill is barely home these days. Now that Charlie no longer owns her, she’s not forced to live here. She only lives here because it’s easy and she’s pregnant, but Matteusz knows she’s trying to find a new way in freedom.

And it’s also really nice to be alone with Charlie. It’s definitely helped them reconnect after everything.

“Do you think the others wouldn’t mind either?” Charlie asks Matteusz.

“If they have problem, then they will have a problem with me,” Matteusz says.

“Really?”

“Yes. I love you. All of you.”

Charlie smiles and turns indigo again.

“And I love all of you too.”

[finerllines]

love, rory [bestfriend!h]

a/n: hiya thank you all for being patient and i hope this part gets you excited for the next part!! there's not too much harry in this one but i think it's still pretty fun!! please reblog and comment if you enjoyed the fic and if you wanna be tagged in the next part lmk :D

summary: richard is in his comeback era while harry has triggered his downfall

wc: 9.2k+

cw: none, a little angsty

prev part

///

This is bad. This is beyond bad, this is terrible. Everything is terrible.

Charlie hopes that her efforts to keep her panic eyes at bay are working, because they are in a crowded park with lots of families around. The last thing she wants is to attract any attention from ‘normal’ couples.

She has no idea how this happened. How she let this happen. It was just supposed to be lunch with Richard. Just one lunch for Richard to say whatever he had planned to say, and then they would go their separate ways and she’d finally block his number, forgetting that the meeting ever happened.

Instead, however, she finds herself seated across Richard, for the second time, with Rory between her legs, hands circling her waist protectively. She’s on guard, of course she is. Her daughter is the most important thing in her life. Her top priority, her only priority. She must put Rory’s needs before her own, and if that means giving her an opportunity to know her father then so be it.

The repeated reminders to herself that everything Richard says is bullshit were useless.  

“I know I’ve abandoned you, and her, but I want to make it right. She won’t remember all of this, and she’ll never have to know, because I’ll make up for all the lost time. It’s okay if you never forgive me but don’t give her a reason to need to forgive me. She doesn’t deserve it. Please don’t make me hurt her the way I hurt you.”

She forgets that they were at one point in a committed relationship, that they used to know everything about each other. The only good thing about your partner walking out of your relationship is that it’s easy to get over them, you are too blinded by rage to miss them or reminisce. But he keeps saying all the right things. And while her brain tells her to stay on guard, her heart is more than ready to trust again, eager to return to that confident and self-assured person she was before he left. More importantly, that’s how she wants Rory to view her mother, an accomplished and confident woman. Not someone who was abandoned by the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally.

So, when he asks to meet Rory ‘as a family’, all she can do is whisper a wary “okay, sure”, as if every other thought had fled her brain.

Her agreement brings them to the park, on a picnic mat next to the playground.

The wariness has subsided a little. Richard seems to be sticking true to his promise and letting her direct how this interaction would go. She doesn’t want to hand Rory to him and send them off to the playground assuming that the little girl would be okay with a stranger taking her away. Sure, Rory was comfortable with Harry almost instantly, but something in Charlie’s gut tells her that this isn’t the same. Maybe it’s because everyone knows Harry is good with kids, he is basically England’s most sought after godfather, and Richard happened to run away at the first inkling of a baby. Either way, she reminds herself to push her own skepticism away and take cues from Rory, who so far hasn’t really seemed to notice the new man sitting across from her, her attention fully occupied by the toy car in her grip.

How do you introduce a baby to a stranger, Charlie asks herself. It’s not like introducing a new pet to your home – Rory is not interested in climbing over Richard and giving him a good sniff to sus him out. The best she can do is try and help him get Rory’s attention by prying the car out of her hand and passing it to him. Sure enough, the little girl’s eyes follow the toy with confusion, but despite Richard’s waving and Charlie’s encouragements, all she does is crawl over to him to reach for the car, completely uninterested in reciprocating the greeting.

“Rory, you don’t wanna say ‘hi’ to mummy’s friend?” She holds Rory’s hand and waves at him, “Say ‘hi’ Richard.”

Rory’s arm falls limply in front of her when it’s let go off. She simply looks at him with wide eyes, not saying or doing anything.

Richard clears his throat. “Hi Rory, can I play with you?”

Lying down on his stomach, he peers up at her and slowly reaches for another toy car and starts driving it in front of her. After some hesitation, Rory joins him in pushing and pulling her car around on the mat. And as much as Charlie hates to admit it, the smile that emerges on Richard’s face is a little infectious. Relief and excitement are written all over his face. Having your daughter ignore you can’t be a good feeling.

While he doesn’t manage to go from zero to a hundred (like Harry managed to), he did get a wave back and a giggle out of her, and when he placed his hand palm up on the mat hoping for a high five, Rory did wrap her hand around his thumb instead.

When the playground got more crowded later in the afternoon, Charlie insisted on taking their leave. Richard walked them to the car and pulled silly faces over her shoulder as she buckled Rory into the car seat.

“Thanks for letting me do this. I had a great time with her, and I think she likes me.” His voice is soft, and his eyes portray a shyness that is not normally there.

Charlie lets him take a step towards her when she turns to face him. This is the closest they’ve been since … well since he left.

“You’re welcome. It went well I think.”

His eyes brightened. “Does that mean I can see her again? Does that mean I can see you again?”

She bites her lip. “We’ll see, we can text about it, I guess. But do not come to my house uninvited ever.”

“I promise I won’t. That was stupid of me, I’m sorry.” He shakes his head aggressively. “You can trust me. I made a mistake but I’m back to make it right.”

Unsure of what to say, she just nods. “Alright. See you next time, possibly.”

On the drive home, she replays the little playdate over in her head. Everything went fine. Father and daughter seemed to get along fine. But is fine enough? She can’t help but compare Richard to Harry, something she subconsciously did ever since meeting Richard. It’s a little hard to compare first interactions, Rory was groggy and hungry the first time she met Harry. But every time after that, she was more than happy to play with him. In fact, she was in Harry’s arms every day after that.

Maybe she’s being too harsh, Harry had the advantage of being in her home and being around them every day. Plus, a lukewarm reaction is definitely better than a negative one. She has to give Richard a fair shot, he is Rory’s father, and it won’t be fair to deny her of that relationship just because of some personal bias towards Harry. Giving her daughter a chance to grow up with both parents is more important than her own feelings, she could never take that away from Rory.

Just thinking about Rory growing up to realise that her father didn’t love her enough to stick around from the beginning, and that her mother didn’t love her enough to put her first made Charlie feel sick. She can protect Rory from feeling unloved and unwanted.

She will.

-

Somehow Charlie’s life has taken a sharp left turn in a span of a month. Not only is Richard not blocked, he is also one of the few people she texts semi-regularly. She has no clue how it happened. All she remembers is getting a text from him thanking her again when she was lying in bed after their little family reunion and scheduling another playdate together the next week.

She figured it couldn’t hurt, a little trip to Costa won’t hurt anyone. She was right, she and her daughter came back from the coffee shop unscathed. But it did lead to her agreeing to another meeting with Richard, and another, and another, and another. Now, as she sits on a towel watching Rory and Richard build a sandcastle, she sifts through every conversation, look, and gesture that brought her to the beach with her ex-boyfriend and her daughter.

The beach seemed harmless enough, it’s a public place and definitely child friendly, however the fact that he would be in a state of undress completely flew over her head. She either managed to overlook that fact somehow, or just took it for granted that she is incapable of being attracted to a man who made her feel small and insecure.

When he whipped off his shirt seconds after putting his stuff down, Charlie stood frozen, eyes glued to his chest for a good couple of seconds. He must have felt her eyes on him because when she fails to look away quick enough, he shoots her a boyish smirk, which sends a rush of heat up her neck and face, finally forcing her to snap out of it and look away.

Red flags immediately start waving in her head. This is dangerous territory, retreat. As much as she’d like to be rational and heed the warning, her heart is stubborn and won’t move on from how handsome he is. She hates to admit it but the time apart did his body good.

He was always a looker, that’s what drew her to him in the first place, but he somehow got more attractive. His body filled out a bit more, and the sun is doing him lots of favours by hitting his skin just right, making his eyes and smile brighter.

Annoyingly, Charlie finds herself sneaking glances at Richard throughout the day – when he holds Rory’s hand to slowly walk her down to the water, when he looks back at her for reassurance after making Rory laugh, and when he hands her an ice cream with a soft smile.

They sit around a cooler bag for lunch, picking at the sandwiches and fruit that Richard packed. He does up a little plate of foods she previously approved for Rory and guides her hands to encourage her to start eating. Charlie notes his movements are less timid. He still handles her watchfully, trying to gauge Rory’s reaction to being touched by him, except his movements no longer stutter.

Rory’s been exceptionally well behaved the whole morning, happily rolling around in the sand and kicking her feet up with excited shrieks when her feet get lowered into the sea. It’s been an action packed morning and she’s completely justified in whining and kicking up a big fuss, refusing to eat her food.

A long, high pitched whine escapes her lips as she pushes Richard’s hand away. Her lips form a deep pout, eyes widening to look at her mum as if pleading for something.

“What’s wrong? She hurt?”

Charlie smirks at Richard’s unease. “Nothing’s wrong, she’s just a baby, and this is what babies do. They whine and cry when they’re tired or hungry while also refusing to sleep or eat.”

His expression doesn’t relax.

She returns her daughter’s pout and opens her arms. Rory instantly takes the invitation and crawls over for a cuddle. “You’ll have to get used to it. Being a parent is more than giggles at the beach.”

“I’ll … have to keep that in mind then.”

The pair sit in silence as Rory drifts to sleep in Charlie’s rocking arms after stubbornly eating a couple of blueberries and a piece of bread.

Eventually, Richard gets bold enough to slide closer to them. He strokes Rory’s back once slowly. “She’s adorable.”

“I guess we did good.”

He chuckles lightly. “Yeah. Crazy to think that she’s half of me. Half of us.”

His words are weighty. They both know it.

When she doesn’t respond, he continues. “Is she like me?”

“A little. She’s quite outgoing, likes attention, likes to perform.”

“What are you trying to say then?” he asks playfully. It’s been a while since he joked around with her.

“You know I’m right. You’ve always loved telling your stories and getting a laugh from everyone and I liked watching from the side.”

“Hey,” he says, tucking a finger under Charlie’s chin to make their eyes meet, “I like hearing you talk about us, about what we used to be. We were good.”

She doesn’t know what reply would be appropriate, so she chooses to keep quiet. It has been a while since she’s properly looked into Richard’s eyes.

Maybe Richard isn’t as magnetic as Harry and doesn’t cause emotion to build and build in her chest, only to gently deflate the build back up again, but he’s familiar and comforting all the same. As much as she hates to admit it, it feels nice to see Richard shoot her flirty smirks and order her favourite ice cream without having to ask, it feels nice to have someone want to rebuild a relationship with her, even if it’s not a romantic one.

She decides to let herself lean in. They are just two adults trying to co-parent for the sake of their daughter, nothing more. So what if he makes her blush? Their daughter had to come from somewhere. This is good. Rory gets a chance to be raised by both parents, and maybe once she shirks off the abandoned single mother reputation her parents will see Rory as the blessing she is. Rory will get to have a full family, parents, grandparents, the works.

The only issue with committing to co-parenting with Richard is that she definitely can’t put off telling Harry about it now. No more secrets, she owes him that much.

-

Turns out the universe hates Charlie because again, the opportunity to deliver news to Harry is taken away from her.

“What’s this?” Harry asks as he holds his phone in front of his laptop camera. A grainy photo fills the screen.

“Good morning to you too.”

“Charlie.” His voice is short.

She squints trying to figure out what she is supposed to be looking at. Then, her jaw drops.

“Is that, is that …”

“You and Rory with Richard? Yeah.”

“Wh-what? H-how?” she stutters with bewilderment, “Who took that photo?”

“Some fan, I don’t know.”

“Why would they take a photo, you weren’t with us?”

Harry’s silent for the first time this conversation, seeming to have run out of answers. “H, why did they take a photo?” His hand holding up the photo starts to tremble ever so slightly. “H, what aren’t you telling me?”

“What aren’t you telling me?” he counters.

“Harry.” Her voice is stern now. “Look at me.”

With a huff, he lowers his hand to reveal his tense jaw and furrowed brows. Charlie doesn’t say anything. She’s run of words.

His hand drags down his face slowly. “Because people saw us at the park the last time, so they think monkey’s mine and you’re cheating on me.”

It’s Charlie’s turn to clench her jaw and furrow her brows. “What.”

“That day in the park, someone took a photo of us and we were holding hands and stuff so they think we’re together. You can’t make out Rory’s face they just, they recognise you, so they just assumed.”

“They?”

He clears his throat.

“The fans. The internet.”

The ground disappears beneath her feet. Every hair on her body stands up, her skin feeling cold and prickly. She hears Harry saying her name faintly, but she can’t make out his voice clearly over the ringing in her ears.

“When was this?” Charlie’s whispering now.

“I don’t under-“

“When did the park photos first get posted.”

“Um,” if she could get her eyes to focus through the tears, she would see the dread on his face, “the day after. The day I left.”

Harry could practically hear the wheels grinding in her head.  

“You knew,” she finally says. “You told me to stay offline because of promo. That was right after you left.”

“Love, I –“

“You lied to me. How long did you think you could keep this up before I found out?”

Her tone is so flat that he isn’t sure whether she’s asking him a question or making a statement.

“I was trying to get the photos taken down, I didn’t want you to get scared for no reason.”

Charlie snaps out of her reverie.

“No reason?” Her gaze is piercing, ice cold. “You know damn well I have a good reason to be scared. I think you’re just fucking selfish.”

“Selfish?”

He has the nerve to look offended, she thinks.

“You don’t want me to keep Rory away from you, don’t want me to realise that Rory being seen with you is dangerous. I said over and over that we have to be careful, we can’t just make last minute trips to the park in the middle of the day, but you insisted. Turns out,” she’s close to shouting now, “we were fortunate enough to not be followed home, to not have you walking into my home holding my baby plastered all over the internet, for everyone to see and speculate.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“Do I?” she laughs humourlessly, “Because I think, no, I know that if you didn’t see the photos with Richard, you would never have told me that millions of people have photos of my daughter.”

“I’m sorry that I didn’t want to worry my best friend. And everyone would’ve forgotten about Rory if you weren’t seen parading around with Richard. Who the hell brings their baby on dates, with the man that walked out on them no less? You’ll just let anyone hold Rory then, huh? Have some self-respect, if not for yourself then for Rory.”

“Richard is Rory’s father, he has more of a right to hold Rory than you.” Harry’s jaw snaps shut. “And who I let be around my daughter is frankly none of your business. What, you spend two weeks with her and suddenly know what’s best for her? I am her mother. You do not have the right to tell me how to parent her. And it wasn’t a date, not that it matters. Heaven forbid that Richard had a change of heart and decided that Rory is someone worthy of love. At least he cares enough about Rory to suck up his pride and apologise, unlike you who doesn’t give a shit about her safety.”

He chooses to ignore the words directed at him, feeling too fired up to think rationally. He goes for the low hanging fruit instead. “C’mon, you can’t be stupid enough to think that Richard really changed that much in just one year. He obviously has some sort of motive and you’re dumb enough to fall for whatever bullshit he’s feeding you.”

A bitter taste fills his mouth the moment the words leave his lips. He opens his mouth to take it back, but he doesn’t get the chance.

“Fuck you.” All the bite in her voice is gone, reduced to something breathy and shaky.

She disconnects the call not trusting herself to keep it together any longer. Frankly, she’s surprised she’s still sitting up right because all she wants to do is curl up into a ball and will the ground to swallow her whole.

How the hell is she going to do literally anything else for the rest of the day.

Taking advantage of the lump in her throat, she calls work to take a sick day and cancels the sitter. Her head feels like it’s filled with static with her consciousness bouncing from one crisis to another.

But when she sees Rory smiling to herself as she plays in the playpen with the blissful obliviousness only a child can have, it seems like everything stands still. That smile is something special. Nothing else matters. Not her own feelings and definitely not Harry’s feelings.

“My sweet girl,” she coos, reaching to pick Rory up. Her cheeks are rosy and her little baby teeth are on display as she stares at her mother with an open mouthed grin.

The tension in Charlie’s body slowly dissipates as she rocks side to side, her daughter cuddled close to her chest. As if sensing her distress, Rory doesn’t wiggle or kick her legs, simply pressing her cheek firmly against her mother’s chest and reaching her little hand up to rest on Charlie’s neck, as if she’s trying to soothe. Charlie tries her best to repress the memory of what just happened, mindful to not squeeze her daughter too hard.

It’s only when Rory mumbles “mamama” that she breaks and starts to cry.

-

“Harry!”

“Huh? Sorry, I’m listening.”

Harry was in fact not listening, in fact he hasn’t been listening for the past couple of hours, or days really. It’s hard to be excited for a new era, new album, and new tour, when all he wants is to go home and grovel at Charlie’s feet until she forgives him. He can’t believe he was stupid enough to say all that shit to her. If he heard anyone disrespect her and her daughter like that, he would deck them immediately, cameras be damned. But he can’t punch himself silly, so he settles with mentally berating himself. It’s hard to absorb what everyone else is saying when every word he said to Charlie is constantly replaying in his head, only pausing when he does his daily internet browse to make sure no new photos of Charlie and Rory have surfaced.

Normally, he would tell himself to get lost in his work. It’s a little hard to do that this time when so much of the album is about the person he hurt, and it doesn’t help that there are a couple late additions that hit especially hard right now.

He reads through the prepared list of pointers on what to say to skilfully answer questions about the photos with Charlie and Rory yet say absolutely nothing. He sighs. He never wants to have to talk about them in public ever, especially not to Howard Stern.

“So, Harry, I want to talk about a couple of very interesting photos that have emerged over the past couple of weeks. This is, as your fans have deduced, your long time friend and who we presume to be her baby. This picture of the two of you holding hands looks particularly romantic.”

He schools his expression, trying to maintain his unbothered façade. “Sure,” he says simply, hoping that it comes across nonchalant rather than through gritted teeth.

The studio breaks out in polite giggles assuming that his reply is part of some bit he is doing. “Is that all you’re gonna give us I mean, the fans want to know.”

“Really? Well, like you said my fans know that the woman in the photos has been in my life since I was a kid, and they know that I care about the people in my life a lot.”

“Oh, so you’re confirming that the woman in the photos is your childhood best friend, Charlie? That’s good to know. For someone who’s been around you for so long we know very little about her.”

He hates that Stern knows her name. “Umm, well there isn’t much to know. She’s just a regular person, regular job, regular life. So, not much to talk about.” His non-statement is punctuated with a challenging eyebrow quirk as if daring Howard to say anything else about Charlie.

“Okay, I guess that is all Harry Styles wants to give us today everyone.”

Harry has never been so glad to talk about Sarah and Mitch. He’ll have to thank them for taking the heat off him later.

When he’s finally done with a long day of clenching his jaw and biting his tongue, he’s stopped in the carpark by his assistant. “Your apartment security needs you to pick up a package when you get back. They say it has to be by today.”

He assumed that it’s just a wardrobe item from Lambert that needs to be approved, so he’s fully confused by the bouquet of flowers awaiting him. He pulls out the little card.

Dear H,

Congrats on the new album! I know everyone will love it and love you just like we do. I’m proud of the star you’ve become, and Rory and I can’t wait for you to come home, she wants to celebrate with her Uncle Harry. xx

Love, Charlie and Rory

The fact that he made it into the lift before starting to cry is a feat. This wasn’t a breathy, body-wracking kind of cry. He doesn’t even realise he is crying until tears start falling onto the card that he can’t seem to peel his eyes from.

Friends fight all the time, but Harry and Charlie aren’t regular friends. She must have arranged for the delivery before the dreaded call because he isn’t convinced that she’s misses him right now. Why would she.

His heart plumets back to the bottom of his stomach. What is supposed to be a career milestone is now marred by his jealously and possessiveness over someone he has no right feeling that way towards.

He wants to celebrate with them, more than anything. He wants to dance around the living room with Rory in his arms while Charlie drinks in the album with his mum and sister on the sofa. Like a family.

With a restless heart, he squeezes his eyes shut and goes through the rollerdex of memories of the three of them to soothe himself to sleep. 

-

Charlie feels like a terrible friend when she needs to be reminded that her best friend’s third album is dropping via an email invoice from a florist, a florist that she doesn’t even remember engaging. 

She was excited for the release. The sitter has been booked for the night of the One Night Only show, where she intended to debut the Gucci flares Harry bought her to match with him a little, ever since the date got confirmed. Now, she supposes, it’d be stupid of her to assume that he even wants her there, tainting a celebratory night with memories of their falling out.

Was it just a falling out though? There was a finality about it that left a funny feeling in her chest. But there is no way she’s going to be the one to reach out and apologise first. Sure, she said some hurtful things, but so did he. After having forgiven Richard, a task she previously thought would be impossible, she’s frankly over being forgiving.

If she sits unoccupied in silence for too long, the fear that Fine Line may now be the last album release she gets to be a part of would creep in. If she had somehow foreseen this falling out, she would have made more of an effort to celebrate with him that year.

It doesn’t help that on the day of release, Charlie receives a package from LA addressed to her with no return address – not that it’s needed, there’s only one person who would send her stuff from LA. She’s hesitant to open it. Maybe he’s shipped her old books and things back, like an actual break up. That would hurt.

The offending package stays sealed on the coffee table all day, floating in the back of her mind as she moves through a long day of corporate work and mum work. When Rory waddles over and drags it onto the carpet with a thud, she knows that the package can’t be a coffee table fixture any longer.

“You want to see what Uncle Harry sent huh, lovie.”

Rory, wide-eyed and rosy cheeked, leans onto her shoulder for support as she mumbles, “Yummy.” That’s her new word of the week.

Sitting the package in her lap, she slices it open with shaky hands, pre-emptively wincing.

The first thing that greets her is a folded piece of lined paper, clearly ripped out of a notebook. Setting that under her thigh – she’ll tackle that later when she is at liberty to sob into her blanket – item after item gets pulled out of the deceptively small box. Unfolding the pieces of clothing reveals a hoodie with ‘Harry’s House’ printed on the right corner and a shirt with an upside down flowerpot plastered on the front. Accompanying them is a Rory-sized sweat set with the same branding, packed with a note saying, ‘Maybe seeing my name written on her pants will help her learn my name xx’.

A wave of emotion washes over her, breath hitching. She’s confused. He writes as if nothing had happened between them, as if certain he’ll be back to cuddle Rory the moment her bottom lip turns downward.

Leaning to the side to release the note, she unfolds it, which takes an embarrassing amount of tries because she is full on shaking now. Her chest is tight. Her lungs don’t fill fully with air.

Dear Charlie,

I promise to apologise for what I said but I want to do that in person. I understand if you don’t want to see or hear from me, so while I’ll miss you at the shows (you also have Manchester tickets if you change your mind), it won’t feel right if you’re not part of this release. It probably makes me even more of a prick to send you stuff with my face and name all over it but it’s a good thing that being a prick comes naturally to me.

I want you to have something from this release because a piece (a big piece) of the album is yours, just like all the previous albums. You’re my muse always, and now monkey is too. So many of these songs are for you. I’m not going to embarrass you, and me, by telling you which songs were inspired by you and the life we’ve shared. If you can bring yourself to, I want you to listen to the album knowing that there’s no Harry without Charlie, and there are a few songs that I wrote after spending those weeks with the both of you. They were too good to be true and I needed to immortalise those feelings somehow.

I’ll earn your trust again, swear on my life. I want to be in monkey’s life forever, even if it means sharing her with someone else. You can scream and hit me, send me a Christmas list every year, or make me play nice with Richard every day. I’ll do anything. Call if you or monkey need me, and I’ll be right there.

Please let me see the both of you again. I love you. Both of you.

Love,

H xxx

Charlie blinks furiously to try and hold the tears back, eyes stinging from how hard she’s been staring at the letter, reading his words over and over, only forcing herself to look away when her vision gets too blurry.

There’s a good couple of hours before midnight when the album comes out. Hopefully the nightly chores are enough to occupy her mind. She doesn’t know if she’ll make it to midnight if she has to sit in her thoughts for more than a minute.

You’re my muse always. There’s no Harry without Charlie.

That’s all she hears in the back of her head in between each song as she makes her way down the track list, back resting against her headboard. Her mind inadvertently scans each title and lyric for something, anything; anything to help her make sense of what Harry meant.

As It Was lulls her into a false sense of security. That must be the one about her, a song about childhood and change – she ticks all the boxes. A subconscious sigh of relief escapes her lips when the next track starts.

Honestly, Charlie’s not sure what she’s so scared of, this isn’t the first time he’s revealed that she’s inspired songs. He did tell her flat out that he started writing Falling after he woke up from their phone call during an extremely drunk and emotional night. Yet, none of that quite compares to the intimacy of being deemed someone’s muse, a prominent enough source of inspiration for this album to somehow belong to her despite having said or heard nothing. Like she lives in his thoughts, through the flings and the sold out shows, still lingering.

The next two songs are easier pills to swallow. She doesn’t love being reminded that Harry loves love and has good sex, but the years have taught her how to switch off the possessive part of her brain and just enjoy the good music. Needless to say, she’s a little blindsided by the chorus of Matilda.

It’s definitely not subtle. Vague, yes. But not subtle. Doesn’t help that he sent Rory a Matilda picture book like month ago.

It’s like a slap in the face.

She wants to dig up her anger towards Harry and feel offended and hurt, be mad at him for harbouring these feelings about her life as if she didn’t deserve to know. But she knows she can’t, the emotional turmoil and confusion wasn’t enough to turn off the rational part of her brain.

She remembers what he told her: you’re doing such a good job raising her, she’s such a happy baby.

She is starting her own family, with her, Rory, and maybe Richard. Richard probably doesn’t love Rory yet, but he must be on his way. So, Harry’s right, she is starting a family that will be full of love.

This new rush of motivation builds within her until the croon of Boyfriends registers and knocks all it down. She’s sitting up now, eyes narrowed and face scrunched as if the song is a nuanced piece of poetry filled with metaphors and symbolism, instead of a pop song that blatantly slags off shitty boyfriends and relationships.

It just seems a little too on the nose. He did call her stupid, and if she hadn’t hung up on him, he might have called her a fool as well.

Squeezing her eyes shut and pinching the bridge of her nose, she wills the creeping feeling that this song is about her and Richard away. He only found out about Richard a couple weeks ago, she reassures herself, there’s no way he wrote, recorded, and produced this song in time.

Unfortunately, one of the other possible explanations might be even worse – he wrote this before Richard was back in the picture, meaning, again, that he has felt this way for more than a month and he just failed to tell her, for whatever reason.

If Harry really thinks that she’s an idiot for letting Richard back in and wanting to be part of a loving family, then she’s crushed. Especially because that would make Rory a clumsy mistake. Collateral damage. A product of her stupidity.

A shiver shoots up her body as she jolts out of her reverie, finger hastily pausing the album.

No, there’s no way. How could she even think that? This is Harry, her Harry. All he’s done is love her, and the tenderness in his eyes whenever he looked at Rory simply cannot be faked. Also, he would never air his disapproval to millions before speaking to her about it. Despite how shitty his words were, he’s not that scummy.  

Tilting her head back to rest against the headboard, she shakily gasps through her mouth as if crying silently. Soon, her breaths quicken, chest rising and falling dramatically. She’s sobbing, but there are no tears. A pathetic sight, truly.

She hates herself. Truly. Turns out being abandoned doesn’t make you more independent. Just desperate for love and approval.

She feels alone and admonished, like she should have known better than to have her hopes pinned on two men. And when she feels like this, the only thing her heart craves is Harry. Her Harry. The Harry who begged her parents to let her come along with Anne to his X Factor audition because having her backstage would make him sing better.

Before she can second guess herself, she reaching for her phone and sends a quick message, not even thinking before pressing send.

It’s good.

With a sigh of resignation, she locks her phone and slides under the covers, ready for the day to end. She turns away from the side table before the screen awakes with a notification.

I’m glad. xx

-

“You wanna dance, Rory?”

Charlie’s making her morning coffee with a smiley baby standing by her on a little babyproof stool.

“Yay!” Rory wears a bright open-mouthed grin, showing off her growing teeth. She’s swaying back and forth, smacking her hands on the countertop.

She’s such a happy baby.

“Hey Google, play Late Night Talking by Harry Styles on Spotify.”

Gripping the safety bar in front of her, Rory starts giggling and bouncing along.

-

Another weekend, another play date with Richard. They’re going to farmers market to let Rory do some arts and crafts with the other local children. It’ll be their first time being co-parents in front of others. Charlie spent all night trying to decide how much of a couple they should be. Most of the other parents would know that they had separated, and because of that stupid photograph, everyone knows that they have reunited in some capacity.

She’s not looking forward to the watchful eyes.

Just when she thinks enough time has passed for the town to no longer find her little scandal exciting, fucking Richard comes back into the picture to invite another season of viewers.

“I’m going to get her cleaned up and changed. Make yourself comfortable, or … reacquainted I guess.”

It’s the first time Richard has made it through the doorway since leaving. He didn’t officially move in when they were together because he insisted on keeping his house as a ‘creative getaway’. In hindsight, that should have been a glaring red flag, especially since ‘creative’ is not how anyone would describe Richard. But it all worked out, in a way. Now that she trusts him to carry her daughter, she figures that he can be trusted to wait in the living room.

When Charlie returns to the living room, Richard is studying the coffee table book about photography she bought as home décor after he left, appearing to be midway through a lap around the living room.

Charlie checked every romance cliché after being abandoned. Cut and dyed her hair, blocked Richard and any mutual friends (or more accurately, his friends that later became ‘their’ friends), and did a deep clean of their previously shared house before redecorating everything – she tried looking at the bright side by constantly telling herself that being alone meant that she could finally decorate how she wanted, without having to accommodate his ‘boy junk’.

The easy to clean, minimalist aesthetic was swapped for a more eclectic one, one that felt her own and cosy. A mustard yellow footstool to accompany a burnt orange rug in the living room, a pair of cow mugs as ornaments on the shelf, and a High School Musical poster she found in at the bottom of her drawer. It’s not like she has one night stands to impress, so why not do her morning skincare next to a Troy Bolton poster blu-tacked next to the dresser. In hindsight, the minimalist living room would be easier to babyproof, but growing up surrounded by colour can’t be a bad thing for a baby.

As much as she hates to admit it, the romcom heroines were right.

Changing these things did feel like she was ridding herself of the past, ridding herself of the Charlie that people were okay leaving behind, the Charlie that was pitiful. It marked the start of a new life for herself.

Seeing a piece of her ‘old life’ in her new living room does feel strange. She can tell he feels strange too. Out of place. From the kitchen, she watches Richard move about as if he’s in a museum, inspecting and observing, occasionally picking things up to get a closer look, hands returning to their place behind his back every time. She tries to get a read on his expression. The coffee table book gets no reaction, his mouth staying in a straight, tight line. Her CD collection, however, gets a brow quirk and a scoff, the latter in response to the Harry’s House CD that accompanied the clothing.

Guess their little man rivalry is still not over.

He doesn’t comment about what she’s done to her house. In fact, he doesn’t say much to her the whole morning. He played nice in front of the other parents at the market, cracking jokes and skilfully skirting around questions about their relationship. He also did well with his daughter, who seemed to finally start to recognise him, helping her reach for markers and stickers, and giving her little high fives. His odd lukewarm energy was only directed at Rory when the radio playing throughout the market started playing a familiar song.

It took a couple seconds for the little girl to register and recognise the synth, but when she did, she turned to look at her mother, as if for confirmation that she is hearing one of the Uncle Harry’s songs. Rory shared a smile with Charlie and used the crafts table to stabilise herself as she bounces along to the music.

“Yeah Rory, it’s Uncle Harry. You like this song, don’t you? My clever girl.” Charlie pushed Rory’s hair away from her eyes. In her periphery, she saw Richard’s face drop into something unpleasant.

It was like his mask slipped for a split second, the change in expression so sudden and abrupt. By the time Rory turned to face him, hoping to dance with him, his features evened back out.

Despite how closely they were being watched, Charlie doesn’t think, or at least she hoped, that anyone else sensed that change in Richard. If not, the rumour mill would not stop turning, spinning some sort of story about a rivalry about these two men competing over her daughter.

Charlie decides to say something once they get back and has Rory’s lunch settled.

“Is something going on? You’ve been kind of quiet today, and at the market you became a little strange.”

 “Oh?” He raises his eyebrows. There is something in his tone that makes Charlie feel like she’s being challenged. “Yeah, you think?”

She fights hard not to roll her eyes. She doesn’t want this to escalate. “We were together for two years. I think I can tell when you’re a little off.”

“Okay, tell me then.”

“You have just been more quiet than usual and when Rory wanted to dance with you, you didn’t try to engage with her like I expected. On any other day I’d think you would have jumped at the opportunity to -”

“- jumped at the opportunity to what? Gain your approval? Win you over? Seems a bit too late for that.”

She’s confused by his sudden animosity. “No, not mine. Rory’s.”

“Hah. Seems like its too late for that too.”

“Okay, what’s going on?”

He leans against the kitchen counter and folds his arms. “Nothing, nothing.” He takes a sip of water. “I’ve just realised that Harry fucking Styles is always going to be one step ahead of me and I don’t know why I try.”

“Harry?” she asks. After a beat of silence, she asks again. “What does Harry have to do with anything?”

“You tell me because for some reason, even when it comes to my daughter, he wins. I thought that a couple weeks head start can’t be that much, I’m her father. Yet for some reason, he’s managed to win her over before I could get a fair shot.” He rolls his eyes then mumbles, “She must get that from you.”

Charlie takes a beat to stew over his words. There’s something about what he said that makes her stomach turn. At first, she thinks it’s his tone, that mix of condescension and arrogance, as if he was robbed of something, as if she robbed him of something.

“Richard, if something is bothering you just tell me what it is and stop speaking in code. Whatever weird competition you think you have with –“

She freezes midsentence, unblinking.

“What?” he asks.

Her head snaps to face the man in her kitchen. Rory, who appears to be oblivious to the tension in the air, continues to fist smushed blueberries into her mouth.

“How did you know Harry met Rory before you?”

He thinks for a second, then says, “Because you have his album lying around and photos with him on the fridge. And c’mon, one of his new songs play and Rory is somehow able to recognise it.”

“No, you specifically said that he met her a couple weeks before you.” A beat of silence passes. Then, the lump in her throat grows so large that she has to physically swallow before she can speak again. “I think,” she pauses to steady her voice, “I think you lied to me. You lied to me about not knowing that I kept the baby.”

“Woah, lied is a bit of a strong word Charles,” he says, still trying to keep his tone casual.

Charlie’s having none of it. She’s over being lied to and made to look the fool.

She goes straight in, sounding nothing short of accusatory. “Why did you come back, Richard? Because of some sick game you think you have with Harry, some sick game that you’ve decided to drag me and my daughter into?”

“Oh, so now she’s back to being your daughter is she?”

“Please, you don’t have to act like you care about her anymore. Tell me the truth. Now.”

“Fine,” he throws his hands up like he’s being accosted, “do you know how humiliating it is to find out about your daughter from everyone else? How much it sucks to be sent link after link of Daily Mail articles because your daughter has apparently been photographed with Harry Styles? For fuck’s sake.”

“Do you know how humiliating it is to have basically the whole town know that your long term partner doesn’t love you enough to stay and raise a child with you? You didn’t even stay long enough to talk about it, ask whether I wanted to keep or abort it. The minute you heard I was pregnant you took off spouting some bullshit excuse.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay. Is that what you want to hear? But I spent years being compared to Harry. Your friends, family, neighbours, everyone. All they talked about was how sweet Harry is, how successful Harry is. He may have managed to charm everyone else in this town, but he has not fooled me. I see him for the cocky douche he is. I tried to be nice to him because he’s your best friend or whatever, but I’m tired of being the bigger person and ignoring his stupid smirks and snide comments. And because you decided to go parading around with him and Rory, all I’ll ever hear is how good he looks with her. I can’t let that fucker haunt me even after I’ve washed my hands off of you.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you,” she goes to pick Rory out of the highchair and hugs her protectively to her chest, “but doesn’t just look good with her, he is good with her. And whatever perceived rivalry you have with Harry doesn’t justify anything. I’m sorry your male ego is hurt but all of that is in your head, and if you thought that you could be a good father by being fuelled by your pride, then you’re more of an idiot than I thought.

“You lied to me, and you lied to my daughter. What was your plan? To play the role of a doting father until you got Rory more attached to you than to Harry, then disappear from her life again once you felt satisfied? Get a grip Richard, you’re almost 30. No one is playing these stupid games but you.

“I know those years meant nothing to you, but it meant something to me, and I’d appreciate it if you’d think about someone else for once and never come near me or my daughter ever again.”

Richard scoffs, face straining so hard that he’s almost vibrating. “Fine. Don’t come crawling back to me for help when Mr. Popstar gets too busy for the both of you. If you want to be delusional and think that he’s going to stick around this little town for you, you are more than welcome.”

His gaze on them as he leaves is so piercing that she instinctively cups the back of Rory’s head to shield her.

When the door slams shut, her daughter flinches in her arms a little. The silence is deafening, ringing in her ears as the weight of what just happened slowly sinks in.

Mindlessly, her body moves to wash the dried food on Rory’s face and seats her in the middle of the play area. Charlie’s body all but crumples onto the sofa, eyes staring straight ahead. Feeling tears start to well, she tips her head back to look up at the ceiling, willing them back into her eyes. She refuses to cry over that piece of shit ever again.

At least she managed to keep herself from screaming. The last thing she wants is to scare her daughter.

She’s such a happy baby.

She feels like she’s underwater. Everything around her is blurry, head filled with muffled voices. Her head feels like it’s rocking, being pushed and pulled by the rolling of waves as she slowly floats to the surface. Like the sharpness of taking a deep gasp of air, there is a pinch in her chest that forces her to come to her senses and digest the intensity of the last fifteen minutes.

Apparently, she is incapable of keeping people from walking out of her life. Even with her best efforts and best intentions, she managed to push away two people from Rory’s life - one person twice - all before she turns two. That has to be some kind of record.

It’s funny, she feels raw and wounded. Richard came and plugged this hole in her heart, the hole that he happened to leave behind. And yet now, she is in no hurry to mend that hole, to rebuild those walls and go back to not needing anyone else. Making amends is admitting defeat, admitting that Richard had the power to hurt her; trying to undo the damage means acknowledging that there is damage, and wearing her weakness on her sleeve.

She’s tired.

So what if people know that she’s unwanted goods? You can’t break what’s already broken. If people want to come in and out of her life, so be it. The only person she needs to protect is Rory. People can use her until they lose interest for all she cares. They just can’t use Rory. She’s more than happy to be an emotional punching bag if it means that she keeps her daughter sheltered from it all.

Harry was right. She is stupid. Stupid to think that Richard had a change of heart and stupid to be so ready to let people into Rory’s life. Good thing Richard left as soon as he came. Rory didn’t get a chance to get attached to him, unlike with Harry. 

Harry. She needs to apologise to Harry.

-

Charlie is a coward. A coward and a pushover.

All the pink cowboy hats and feather boas in the train carriage are mocking her. She keeps her head tipped downwards, staring down at her phone, hoping that none of the fans recognise her.

She knew this was a bad idea. But when Anne calls telling you how excited she is to finally be going to a concert with you again, how do you say no. She can’t exactly tell Anne that her son called her stupid and a crap mother, so she’s still too hurt to see him, but turns out he was right so she is also embarrassed.

The train to London was nerve wrecking. All she could think about was what to say to him when they finally met, if she should apologise first, and if they should talk then and there. Some higher power must have been working in her favour because the train got delayed just enough to allow her to make it for the concert while skipping the pre-show socialising in the friends and family area where Harry was sure to have made an appearance.

Leaning against the train window, the roughness of the tracks causes her head to jostle around. It’s a welcomed disturbance. It keeps her anchored to reality, stopping her from getting too lost in the mental image of Harry’s face when he spotted her in the crowd. If she had blinked, she would have missed it. Just the quickest flash of realisation, brows falling for a split second, almost impossible to read from so far away. She has no idea if it was relief or disappointment. It didn’t help that he proceeded to avoid eye contact with her for the rest of the concert.

So, she fled. Using Rory as an excuse, as per usual. She told Anne and Gemma she had to catch the next train home and couldn’t stick around to wait to see Harry. After smiling apologetically when Anne half-heartedly scolded her for not bringing Rory with her, she wedged her purse securely under her arm and legged it, making her way to the station amidst the swarm of fans who were still screaming and crying from the experience.

It is only when she locks the front door behind the babysitter that she lets her guard down, shoulders slouching and face falling, exhausted from contorting her face and body to hopefully emanate the vibe that she was happy to be there. She was, truly. She loves supporting him. Supporting him just becomes ten times more exhausting when you are constantly self-conscious about how you are being perceived by the thousands of people in the arena, and worried that you are unwanted.

Despite how drained she is, sleep does not come easy. She is restless, her head refusing to stop going a hundred miles an hour. She isn’t even thinking about anything really, it’s just white noise, refusing to go away.

Finally, she reaches for her phone. Squinting at the sudden brightness, the text is typed and sent in less than a minute.

Sorry I couldn’t stay, but I’m proud of you. Electric as always.

Her heart settles when the small ‘delivered’ sign appears.

When she wakes up, there is no reply.

taglist (lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part): @harrysfolklore @behindmygreyeyes @suspectedstyles @celestial-holland @xcaitlin101x @outofthisworl-d @haz-nn @zaynshoes @lissymarie22

[ameliora-j]

twin flame ii // gw x reader

words: 2k

warnings: angst. like a LOT. bestfriend breakup, mention of blood

a/n: this one is significantly shorter than the first,, sry besties :)

part one | part three | part four

your heart twisted itself in pained knots, increasing the pounding of your head tenfold. it had been this way for days now. christmas with the weasleys came and went and the tension between you and george was thick. you could barely even look at each other without passing hard glares. you had all planned to go to the field at the back of the burrow and play quidditch, and you were currently tasked with collecting george. you knocked gently on the twins’ door before opening it. “hi georgie,” you beamed.

“hello butterfly,” he spat the nickname bitterly and you were taken aback. you ignored the twinge of pain in your chest as you stepped further into the room.

“um… we’re all gonna go and play quidditch. if you wanna join,” you offered a smile. “i need my broom partner,” you had never learned how to fly a broom. you figured life should be lived on the ground, the way merlin intended it to be.

“no thanks,” he grumbled.

“c’mon georgie, we’re the dream team!” you persisted.

“why don’t you ask charlie to be apart of your dream team. seems he’s already replaced me with everything else in your life,” the last part was muffled, not intended for your ears, but you still heard it. you furrowed your brows slightly before answering.

“don’t be silly georgie, i can’t play quidditch without my partner. you can’t break up the dream team,” you pushed, ignoring your confusion.

“yn, i’d really rather not watch you eye-fuck my brother. go ask him to be on your team. or better yet, learn to fly a broom. it’s truly not that hard of a task, even a simpleton such as yourself should be able to catch on quickly,” he seethed.

your heart skipped a beat as it sunk to your stomach and tears pooled at your bottom lash line. you nodded once and pivoted on your heel to leave the room. you sniffled quietly as you closed the door to his room and went downstairs. “george?” fred asked as you came into view.

“he doesn’t wanna play,” you murmured half heartedly as you pushed passed the group of people to go outside. you released a sigh as you plunked yourself down onto the grass, lying back and throwing your arms over your eyes as you forced yourself to keep your tears at bay.

“hey, ynn, c’mon you can fly with me,” charlie offered with a smile as he held a strong arm out to you.

“nah, ‘s okay charlie. i’ll watch with fleur and hermione,” you murmured softly.

charlie’s brows furrowed slightly. you had never called him ‘charlie.’ it was always ‘char char.’ “you okay?” he asked and you simply nodded in response. he released a sigh as he jogged to the center of the field where his other siblings, and harry, were at.

“what happened mon amour?” fleur asked you softly.

“he called me stupid,” you sniffled. “said i replaced him with charlie but i didn’t,” you whimpered softly as you confided in the two girls sat on your sides. “he hates me. this was a stupid plan. ‘m just gonna go home,” you sobbed softly, causing fleur to pull your head to her lap as she trekked her fingers through your hair.

“i’m sorry, yn. i didn’t know he would react like this,” hermione spoke softly.

“not your fault, mione,” you murmured half heartedly as you stood and wiped your eyes. “‘m gonna go home,” you released a shaky breath as you pushed yourself to stand.

you dusted your bottom off as you walked back into the burrow. you waved your wand, packing your stuff neatly in your bag before you wrote a note, thanking molly and arthur and left it on the counter. you grabbed your bag and headed to the fireplace, throwing the floo powder and taking yourself to your childhood home.

“hey yn!” your older brother greeted. “thought you were spending break with the weasleys?” he asked, confused.

“yeah,” you murmured despondently as you walked up to your room.

“okay?” his brows furrowed slightly. when you got to your room, you took out a pair of sweatpants and a gryffindor sweatshirt that you stole from george’s wardrobe and forced yourself to shower.

the water was hot. boiling even. you should have flinched at the heat. screamed. cried. something. but you didn’t. you couldn’t. you were uncomfortably numb. so you just stood there, unmoving, staring at the shower wall as the scorching hot water fell over your body. your breaths came out irregularly as you stood there. your body was screaming for you to get out. to turn down the heat of the water. to do something to stop the pain of the burns. but your mind told you that you deserved this. you needed to feel something other than the pain twisting around in your chest.

by the time you stepped out, your skin was tinted with a slight pinkish color. you took a ragged breath in as you dried yourself off and pulled on the sweatpants and sweatshirt. you didn’t even bother brushing through your hair as you pulled up the hoodie and tied the strings tightly. you whimpered soft as your tears made a trail on the floor on your trek back to your room. you crawled out of your window and climbed up to the roof. you ended up falling asleep on your roof, exhausted from the weight of your tears.

~~

you spent the rest of your christmas break—and longer—at your own home. you didn’t return untill fred had owled you telling you had three more days of paid vacation for the year. you flooed to your shared apartment with the twins and changed into your uniform, brushing through the knots in your hair that had accumulated over the days you laid in bed, sulking. you walked down the stairs into the shop as you pulled your hair into a ponytail and took your post at the till. “sorry ‘m late,” you murmured to fred, who appeared to be filling in for you at the present moment.

“you okay, bunny?” fred asked as he slid over so you could take over. you could only manage a despondent hum as you began working.

“thank you for shopping with weasley’s wizard wheezes, were you able to find everything okay today?” you asked the young wizard at the counter with a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

that’s basically how the rest of your day went. forcing your tears back everytime george had to speak to you and being only half present with the customers instead of your usual lively self. when the day had ended and george locked the doors, you walked into the twins’ office and handed fred an envelope. “what’s this, bunny?” he asked you.

“my two weeks,” you murmured softly.

“you’re quitting?” he asked with raised brows.

“yeah,” you murmured. “found a job uh… closer to home. my brothers will be by to collect my stuff tomorrow,” you told him. “‘m gonna go pack,” you didn’t let fred say more as you quickly turned on your heel and walked back up to the apartment. “sorry,” you murmured as you bumped into george on your way up. he only gave you a distracted grunt in response.

as you walked up the stairs, you heard the argument brew between fred and george on your behalf. “fix her!” fred demanded.

“i didn’t do anything!” george defended.

“you broke her,” fred pushed back.

“she’s fine,” you could practically hear george roll his eyes.

“she’s quitting.” fred deadpanned.

“what?” george asked, shock lacing his tone.

“and she’s moving back with her brothers. so go and fix her. make this right,” you decided to end your eavesdropping here and rushed upstairs and into george’s room, where all your things were kept. you knelt on the floor as you took out your suitcases. you were halfway done when you heard the door creak open.

“butterfly?” your heart twisted and tears stung the backs of your eyes at the nickname you hadn’t heard in over a week. “whatcha up to?” he asked.

“packing,” you murmured softly, but he heard. and boy did he miss your voice like hell.

“for what?” he asked curiously as he sat on his bed.

“‘m moving back home. got a new job,” never once did you look up from your task, for you knew if you did, you would break.

“where at, butterfly?” he knelt on the floor in front of you as he began to help you fold your clothes.

“some muggle bookstore. ‘s close to the house,” your murmurs could barely be heard over the loud thumping of both of your hearts. however, george picked up on every word. he grasped your hands in his, effectively stopping your progress. “george please,” you whispered.

“look at me, butterfly,” he demanded softly.

“george,” you repeated a little bit louder.

“look at me. and tell me this will make you happy. and i will let you walk out that door.” you didn’t. you couldn’t. you knew that this isn’t what you wanted as well as he did. “you can’t, right? because it won’t,” he pointed out.

“i can’t be here, george. i don’t want to be,” you told him, still refusing to meet his gaze.

“why? because of me? because i will leave. yn, if that’s what it takes to make you happy, then i will walk out of that door and go back to live with mum. you only ever have to see me in a professional setting. and i’ll communicate with you through fred at work,” he spoke seriously.

“i don’t want that, george. and neither do you,” you told him.

“i don’t, but if it makes you happy then that’s what you’ll get,” he told you.

“no george!” you shouted.

“then what do you want?!” he shouted back.

“you george!” you yelled, finally meeting his gaze. “i want you! i’ve only ever wanted you but you’re too fucking stupid to see what’s right in front of you! i mean merlin’s beard george i’ve been in bloody love with you since fifth fucking year but you’re never seen it!” you finally released all the emotions you’ve been holding in for years. “i just wanted you,” you whispered softly, your voice cracking as tears fell.

you pushed yourself to stand from the floor and waved your wand, packing the rest of your stuff as you grabbed your suitcase. “butterfly, i-“ you quickly cut him off.

“don’t, george.” there was acrimony written all over your tone. “i don’t want your pity.” you sniffled and hastily wiped your eyes. you passed fred on your way out.

“yn?” he asked softly.

“bye fred,” you murmured softly. “i changed my mind. my resignation is effective immediately. i won’t be in tomorrow.”

“yn wait,” fred called.

“please don’t,” you shook your head. “d-don’t try and get me to stay. please just… just leave me alone,” you sniffled.

“i’m sorry…” he spoke softly. you just shook your head and wiped your tears away as you flicked your wand to apparate back home. when you landed on the road a few miles away from your house, you let out a wail of agony. your arm had splinched during the apparition process. you took a deep breath and pushed yourself through it. you knew this was a bad idea. every wizarding book in history advised against it. even a muggle would know not to. but you pushed past the thoughts to apparate into your living room.

“yn!” your older brother shouted as he saw you, blood pouring from your splinched right arm. you were only able to take two steps before you fell to the floor of your living room. you let out a soft groan and a whine of agony before closing your eyes, letting the feelings consume you. the pain in your arm cancelled out the pain in your chest as you let darkness overcome you, falling into the void, listening to the frantic screaming voices of your siblings.

stupid feelings. stupid boys. stupid george weasley. stupid twin flame.

twin flame. it’s almost laughable now. what a lie.

tags: @i-love-scott-mccall @ellerosie2332 @rmvb24 @astralpcrker @daisybloommm @maybeisthemoon @moonliightbabes @stormi-ames @jochim322 @coninl @melonoptimist @lunajoyce3 @clairdemoony @mangoberry99 @imclueless @enya-2004 @prongsyy @lol-whoandwhat-is-dis @burnfleur @anything444ourmoony @horrorxweasley @alicecullens-gf @theincredibledeadlyviper @georgeweasleyshoe3697 @narwhalebaby

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[ktinastrikesback]

Alright, here it is: The meta post about Eddie Diaz and mother figures and how it all leads to Buddie (I think). Thanks to @yramesoruniverse for your help with this, and @kitkatpancakestack and @evanbucklies for inspiring it! I really have been thinking about this nonstop and had to get it all down. This got quite long, so I'll include a cut in order to spare everyone who doesn't want to continue reading!

We first get an idea of Eddie's complicated thoughts surrounding mother figures throughout his whole storyline with Shannon in season 2 when he romantically reconnects with her for Christopher's benefit. I do want to keep the focus here trained on Eddie in season 4, but I want to point out a season 2 line that is pretty fitting. As much as I don't want to use a Shannon quote as a starting point for a meta, I think this one is actually pretty useful: "...Eddie always knows what's best for everyone...God forbid you stop for a second and actually ask them what they need." While it's harsh and spoken out of spite, Shannon does make a point here which becomes relevant at the end of season 4.

We don't know a whole lot about season 4 Eddie (thanks writers) aside from the fact that he's working on being a single father (he tells Marjan in the crossover that he's "doing the whole single dad thing") and being a support system for Buck and the rest of the 118. Eddie's "arc" this season is moving on from Shannon and beginning to date again (a very small and limited arc, which hopefully season 5 will remedy). Of course, because it's Eddie, the core of this arc is him wanting what is best for Christopher. And it seems pretty clear that what Eddie thinks Chris needs is a complete family with a mother figure (note how he asks Bobby if he's "happy now, with Athena and the kids" and just assumes that Bobby is talking about Ana Flores), but the universe pushes against this idea throughout the whole season. There are a lot of examples in season 4 of unreliable mother figures (for example, the alcoholic mother who causes the wreck in Blindsided), but in order to save some space here, I'll list and discuss those in another post. The main thing I want to point out is that we've seen that mother figures aren't always perfect, and they aren't the end all be all that Eddie thinks. And canonically, the show suggests several times throughout the season that the partner that Eddie needs/wants and who is best for Chris is actually Buck.

In Breaking Point, while Eddie is on his date, it's Buck who is at home taking care of Christopher and getting him through his nighttime routine (which establishes that he knows the routine and has gotten Chris ready for bed before, hence the reference to his "cautionary tale"). On the date, when Ana says that no one has been in his life since Shannon passed away, Eddie noticeably looks uncomfortable (the will reveal makes this scene and that particular comment and Eddie's subsequent reaction so rich. Eddie knows that what Ana is saying is completely untrue, because the person he trusts most with his son is with him at that exact moment). Later, when Eddie tells Christopher about his new 'friend', he says "it's a woman." And...to be honest, what the hell was that? He could have said, "I'm dating someone" or "I have a girlfriend." But he says it like this? And it's weird...right? Christopher is the one who has to say "girlfriend." Also his tone of voice when he says it...it's suspicious to me. Anyways...Eddie talks with Ana about Christopher's reaction and her first instinct is to take a break and wait for Christopher to warm up to the idea so as to not cause him more pain. Meanwhile, Chris is out the door, in an Uber, and on his way to Buck, the person who actually gets Chris to talk about his feelings and who fixes the whole mess. So while Eddie is talking with Ana, Buck is playing a parental role AND promising Chris he isn't going anywhere, completely juxtaposing everything Ana has said and done in this episode (throwback to Fools, anyone?). Just like we see in 4x14, the perfect partner that Eddie is looking for is already putting in the work, no questions asked (and this is all before Buck knows about the will!). Yet Eddie is still trying to force it with Ana.

We see this again very briefly in Parenthood. Eddie and Buck are seen agreeing on parenting ideals on a call, similar to how we saw them work together in Future Tense to talk Chris out of playing video games. At the end of the episode however, when Chris asks to join the movie, Ana just jumps ahead and lets him in, not consulting with Eddie. Of course, this isn't a serious issue and Eddie is happy to have Chris join them, but it still carries on with juxtaposing Ana with Buck. It's also a bit interesting that Chris sits between them, parallel to the video game scene from season 3. But again, it's a very brief scene, so I don't know how much value it has overall.

We see all of this come to a head in 4x13 when Eddie becomes invested in the single mother and her son from the balcony call. Interestingly, this call happens after Eddie's conversation with Carla ("make sure you're following your heart"). On the call, Eddie flirts with the mom. This is interesting because we've seen many times in the past that Eddie...doesn't like flirting, especially on the job. Eddie openly flirting with the mom here may be his way of fighting against what his instincts are telling him Carla's comment was about (him liking Buck/a man). Eddie quickly becomes invested in Charlie (the son) and takes a liking to his mother because he relates to her. You can kind of see the gears working in Eddie's head when he's at their apartment...he's admiring her and perhaps maybe fantasizing about having a partner who gets it. And he sees a mother taking care of her son...reinforcing his love for the mother figure. But of course, we all learn by the end of the episode that this mother figure is extremely warped and not at all what her child needs.

The best part about this plot is the way it plays into the shooting scene at the end of the episode. Just before he gets shot, we see Eddie in an interesting framing choice (I am genuinely serious when I say that I want to sit down with Brenna Malloy and ask her about her directing choices for this whole scene):

The mother and son are placed into separate ambulances, and Eddie stands between the two vehicles. Visually, Eddie is literally placed between the mother figure and the son, and Buck is standing in front of him (at a slight distance). As (thank you to @kitkatpancakestack for pointing this out!) the ambulance with the mother drives away, Eddie says "shoulda gotten here sooner" to Buck (who replies, "That kid is just lucky he met you." He knows how to reassure Eddie and recognizes what is good for the child). Then of course, Eddie gets shot. But let's focus instead on why this framing before the shooting is important: the universe does scream, and it sure as hell was screaming at Eddie this whole episode. Carla calls him out for not following his heart, he idolizes this mother only for her to end up being horrid, then he gets shot with his partner standing right in front of him (you know, the same person who takes care of his son for the entirety of the next episode).

This can be read so plainly: Eddie has been fighting hard for what he thinks is best for his son, and he's stuck in this relationship with Ana because he thinks she is what will make Christopher happy. Meanwhile, Buck is in front of him and has been there the entire time putting in the work with Chris and making him feel heard, loved, and important. This ties right back to that Shannon line: if Eddie had simply asked Christopher what he needs/wants, it's very possible that his answer would be "Buck." Eddie doesn't need to be stuck in the middle of this relationship he doesn't care about because Chris' happiness is not dependent on having a mother figure.

Of course, we didn't see very much of Eddie in 4x14 so we don't really know what is going through his head regarding the shooting or Carla's comment just yet, but I'm hoping we see a lot of him working through all of the events that took place in 4x13/14 throughout next season. Because of the way the mother/son storyline ended up and the way they framed Eddie in the shooting scene, I'm willing to bet that he's going to be reevaluating just what Christopher needs and what he already has (with his Buck).

(Also side note--the welcome home party scene...when Buck is watching Eddie greet Christopher, notice the framing there too. The photo of Chris and Shannon is on the right side of the frame, Eddie and Chris in the middle, and Buck to the left. You already know what I'm going to say, so I'll leave it at that...)

Anyways. Edmundo Diaz is confused about what he and Christopher need, and it's actually a brilliant way to dive into a storyline about his sexuality and his feelings for Buck. Remember that post-finale interview with Tim where he said Eddie is always concerned with what's best for Christopher? That there will be a lot to explore with Eddie? I take everything Tim says with a grain of salt, but looking at all of this, there's quite a bit here pointing in the direction of pining Eddie. It's not wishful thinking, it's in the text.

I'm literally just applying basic film analysis to these scenes...and everything is adding up to a larger picture. I'm really excited to see what Eddie's arc in season 5 will be because there's so much set in place for it to be really great.

[charlies-gillespie]

just friends | charlie gillespie

paring: fem!reader x charlie gillespie

summary: Charlie and reader have a conversation that will take their friendship to the next level … (19) “just friends” “yeah right” & (21) “we’ve never been just friends and i think you know that” & (24) “i’ve tried to tell you so many times that i was in love with you. the words just refused to come out”

requested: yes

length: short to medium

warnings: drunk reader and charlie

!! NOT MY GIF !!

MASTERLIST || PROMPTS LIST

tag list: @mrsbrookegillespie @screwunsaidemily @towheadblonde @marvelousmendess @littlemissaddict

You lay on your couch with your arm in the air. You were celebrating your best friend’s new movie and how it just wrapped. Charlie was so happy to celebrate with his closest friends and his castmates. You helped throw the party, so now you have to help clean it up.

“Y/N,” Charlie whines. “Help me clean up so we can both go to bed quicker.” He stumbles into the living room with trash bags.

Cups litter the tables and there is trash all over the floor. You look over at your best friend and say, “I’m too drunk for this, Charlie. I’ll fall all over the place.”

Charlie smiles and says, “I’ll make sure to catch you, bestie.”

A laugh passes your lips and you get up off the couch. Charlie hands you a trash bag and the two of you begin to clean Charlie’s apartment.

It’s close to one in the morning when you finish helping Charlie clean up. Both of you have sobered up a lot since beginning the cleanup process. Both of you are still a little drunk but not enough to be stumbling around and slurring your words like before.

You look over at Charlie and say, “I’ll, um, take the couch and let you have your own bed.” When you and Charlie agreed to throw the party, Charlie said you can stay the night since it would be kinda late when you finished cleaning.

“Or we can just share the bed like we always do,” Charlie says slowly. “My couch isn’t exactly comfortable, Y/N. You can borrow a t-shirt to sleep in.” You nod, heading into Charlie’s closet. You find one of his large button-up shirts and put it on over your bra. It’s big enough to act as a night shirt. You pull off your leggings and head back out into the bedroom.

Charlie’s back is to you and he’s wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. “Oh!” you gasp, caught off guard and turning around. “Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be in here yet.”

Your best friend laughs and says, “It’s fine, Y/N. You’ve seen me with no shirt on before. Plenty of times before.”

You crawl into Charlie’s bed and get comfortable under the blankets before saying, “You’re practically naked in front of me this time, Charlie. Seeing you shirtless when you’re wearing swim shorts is fine, seeing you when you’re in your underwear is something completely different.”

He crawls into bed next to you, laying on his side and facing you. You lay on yours, facing him too. “I don’t know why it’s so different. It’s basically the same thing,” Charlie says to you.

“I can’t see the outline of you know what in your swim shorts,” you tell him. “That’s why it’s different. I don’t wanna see your you know what, Charlie.”

Charlie laughs and says, “You couldn’t handle seeing my you know what, Y/N.”

You smiles and shake your head. “I can’t stand you sometimes.”

Your best friend laughs again and you move closer to him, Your nose almost touches Charlie’s and you sigh, meeting his eyes.

He blinks at you and asks, “Have you every thought about what would happen if we, you know, where more than friends?”

“When we first became friends,” you admit. “We we first met and became friends, I thought that we would become more than friends. Then it never happened and I didn’t mind because I just wanted you in my life.”

Charlie says, “I still think about it sometimes. I still think about what would happen if I just ...” He trails off.

You tilt your head at him, confused. “If you just what?” you ask.

In response to your question, Charlie slowly leans in and brings his lips to yours. You gasp when his lips touch yours. You push him away gently and look at him. “Just friends, Charlie,” you tell him, voice almost a whisper.

“Yeah right,” Charlie says softly. “We’ve never been just friends and I think you know that.”

With a soft sigh, you say, “Charlie, we’ve only ever been best friends. I don’t know what will happen if our relationship changes.”

Charlie’s face falls and he says, “Nothing will change if our relationship changes, Y/N. We’ll just keep being our crazy selves. That’s all.”

You pout a bit and ask, “How do you know nothing will change? What if something happens with us if we start a relationship? Our friendship will be ruined and I can’t lose you.”

He smiles softly and says, “I’ve tried to tell you so many times that I was in love with you. The words just refused to come out. I think I’ve loved you since we met, Y/N. I’m willing to take that risk because I do love you and would do anything to keep you in my life.”

You’re caught off guard with what Charlie told you. “You ... love me?” you ask.

Your best friend, if that’s what he is now, nods and says, “I do, Y/N. I really do. If you don’t feel the same way then I’ll deal with that and it won’t affect us.”

To tell Charlie how you feel, you lean in and kiss him. You feel Charlie smile against your lips and he cups your face with his hands.

When you both pull back from the kiss, Charlie says, “I hope that was you telling me you feel the same way.”

“Well,” you say, watching Charlie’s face fall. “I really like you, Charlie. Maybe as more than a friend. I don’t think I’m in love with you but I really like you.”

Charlie smiles and asks, “Just friends?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Yeah right,” you say, repeating what Charlie said to you. “I don’t think we can ever be just friends now.”

He laughs, pulling you into his arms. You bury your face in his neck as you embrace the change of your relationship with Charlie.

[localfanficwriterrainbow]

I’m Trying

Catcf, AU where everyone is friends even after the whole event. Basically the Powers AU setting minus the powers

-

It was supposed to be a regular day. The kids had all gathered together within Mike Teavee’s room, each playing their part in a Super Smash Brothers tournament. They were all laughing, joking around, and having fun. It was supposed to be just a normal hangout.

It wasn’t.

Eventually, as time passed, some began to grow frustrated over the game. What were once joking smack talk comments turned into more snide remarks. The tension began growing over time. It was only a matter of time before it snapped.

“Yeah? Well, at least my father is actually somewhere out there breathing, unlike yours.”

The words left Mike’s mouth during a round against Augustus. The other kids sat in shock, while Mike continued and win the round. He cheered for a moment before turning and looking into the intense glares of his friends. They knew Augustus’s father was an extremely touchy subject for him. He had lost an important figure in his life the day his father died.

“What?” Mike asked. He took notice of Augustus’s downcast look, and was about to question about it, before-

“What the fuck, Teavee?” Violet snapped. She quickly turned the system off. Mike was about to protest before she shit him back down onto the sofa with her piercing gaze.

“What? What’s wrong?” He managed to get out before Veruca joined Violet’s side. Charlie was next to Augustus, comforting the other the best he could.

“WHA— What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’?! Are you /that/ stupid??!” Veruca almost shouted at this point. She approached Mike with the most intense look he’s ever seen on her. “He’s supposed to be your ‘best friend’, and you treat him that way?! Over what, a stupid game??”

Mike was shocked into silence. What.. what happened? What did he do wrong? He was going to try and figure it out, but was interrupted by Augustus himself.

“It’s not- it’s not worth it you guys. Can we just- go? And forget this?” He asked from his spot.

Violet and Veruca huffed. “Fine.” Violet said. “But this brain-dead idiot isn’t coming.” She stormed off, bringing Augustus and Veruca with her. Mike still sat in shock. Why were they so upset? Should he chase after them? He probably should-

“Mike.. you’re being a bad friend.” Charlie piped up. He had stayed in the room- Mike had almost forgotten he was there.

Mike froze.

“What you said.. really wasn’t good. Augustus really doesn’t like those reminders. You need.. you need to at least try to be a better friend. Because right now, you’re just being a bully.”

Charlie got up and left to go find the others. He was at the door, moving to step outside.

“I try.”

Charlie turned around and met Mike’s gaze. The tears in the other’s eyes surprised them both.

“I try so /fucking/ hard. But… but it’s so hard when you’ve never had something like this before.”

“Something like what?” Charlie inquired.

“Real friends.” Charlie looked… confused. What did Mike mean by ‘real friends’? He got his explanation moments later.

“I’ve.. I’ve never had a group like you guys before. All of the other friends I’ve had- we’d say stuff like that to each other all the time. I thought- I mean- I thought it was fine—“

“Did you like those moments?”

“Wh-huh?”

“Did you like it when they said those types of comments about you or your family?”

“…no… oh my god—“

“Now you get it.” Charlie finished.

“I—How— how um- how do I make it up to him?”

“Well.. you can apologize, for starters.” Charlie gave a smaller, encouraging smile. He offered his hand out to Mike, but the other just backed away.

“I don’t- I don’t think they want to see me right now.”

Charlie stopped. That.. actually might be true. He thought for a moment, before an idea struck his head. He went and grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil.

“Then, you can write to them! And I’ll deliver it!”

“What.. do I write about?”

“Well, first, you’d want to..”

For the next half hour, Charlie assisted Mike in writing an apology letter of sorts. Though there were definitely a few mess-ups along the way, it eventually was finished and signed off. Charlie took the paper and began walking out of the door, promising to deliver it.

“Charlie?”

“Yeah, Mike?”

Mike paused for a minute before sighing. “I-thanks, or whatever.” He turned back to the console, booting up a solo game for himself.

Charlie smiled. He knew that was the best he would get right now. He ventured to Augustus’s room, wandering in, only to be met with Augustus chatting with Veruca and Violet about one of his favorite stories. The three greeted Charlie with more of a smile.

“Before I sit down, this is for you, Augustus!” He handed over the paper.

“Thanks! Uh- what is it?” He asked.

“It’s a letter from Mike!” Charlie explained. The tension instantly returned.

“I bet it says something redundant.” Veruca commented before Charlie shook his head.

“No- it’s an apology letter from him. I helped him write it.” Violet and Veruca were about to protest, until Augustus was already opening it.

*Augustus,

I want to apologize for what I said back there. It was uncalled for an unnecessary, and I really shouldn’t have said it. I shouldn’t have been so insensitive to something like that. I wanted to tell you that I’m still learning. I’ve never had a best friend like you before, and I don’t want to ruin that just because of something I said. I’m learning to help. I’m learning to be a better friend, and I’m doing my best. I’m sorry.

Sincerely,

Mike*

Augustus read the note before folding it up and putting it in his pocket. He walked out of his room without a word and travelled to Mike’s room. The others followed suit.

He opened the door to reveal Mike, who was playing a fighting game by himself. Super Smash Brothers, to be exact. He was quiet as he played- he really was serious. Augustus sat down. Mike paused the game.

“Do you have room for another player?” Augustus asked.

“Augustus— I-I’m sorry-“

“I know. And I… I can forgive you. As long as you’re learning and you continue to do so.”

There was silence. Augustus took the initiative and pulled his best friend into a hug. Tears leaked out of both of their eyes. For probably the first time in a long while, Mike hugged him back. The other three watched, taking their respective spots in the area.

They returned to their tournament, but in a more lighthearted mood. There was less competition between games, but they still kept up their joking trash talk. It was a better setting.

It wasn’t a regular day. But it was a rewarding night.

-

A/N: I’m still getting used to using Tumblr for writing, so I’m unsure how to do bolds and italics. I’ll figure it out eventually!

[maseshine]

Oii! Você poderia fazer a fic da música "You Belong With Me" com o Ben? :)

Right for you, Ben Chilwell

Prompt: You being his best friend and at karaoke singing "You Belong With Me" to him indirectly.

Warning: Disappointment, Sadness

Words: 1811

Notes: I was really excited to write this one. It's one of my favorite prompts and I already had it written, I don't know if that's how you imagined it, but I hope you like it a lot because I loved it so much🤍

Author's Note: I know a lot of people write with the use of quotes, but I'm used to using the dash, so I hope it's not a problem.

Being in love with your best friend is one of life's biggest clichés.  And sometimes it really hurt to see him and his "perfect girlfriend".

You sure as hell wouldn't have gone to karaoke if you knew she'd be there too.  Ben was perceptive in hiding it from you.  Really insightful.

You tried to keep your attention on Mason's out-of-tune presentation, but his eyes always seemed to betray you when they landed on the couple sitting across from you.

━ If you keep looking at them like that they'll think you're a maniac.  ━ Christian said giving his shoulder a little push.

━ I don't know what you're talking about.  ━ You changed the conversation.

━ And Mason can sing well.  ━ The brunette joked.  ━ We already know of his crush on Chilly, only he doesn't seem to notice it.

━ Or he knows and just doesn't talk about it because he doesn't feel the same way about me. ━  His voice came out dismayed, and Christian looked at her sympathetically.

━ If he doesn't notice, maybe he's not right for you, Y/N.

You didn't say anything else, Christian's words running through your head.  Maybe he was right.  She and Ben had been best friends for years, but maybe they couldn't be more than that.

━ Our next singer is Y/N  Y/L/N.  ━ You looked at the stage with surprise, you didn't put her name in the performance list.

His eyes fell on Mason who smiled innocently.  Motherfucker.  The boys made noise encouraging you to go on stage.  You took a deep breath before getting up from the table.

Your hands shook a little as you took the presenter's microphone.  His eyes scanned the available songs, stopping at one that fit his situation perfectly.  His ears picked up the beginning of the melody.

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset

She's going off about something that you said

'Cause she doesn't get your mood like I do

━ Babe... baby!  Come on, please calm down and listen to me!  ━ You heard Ben plead in the next room, your phone pressed firmly to his ear as he tried to reason with his current girlfriend.  All you knew was that he had shown his sincere side - apparently, not everyone knew he didn't have a filter.

But you knew the athlete more than anyone else, and he might need to stop and pull himself together occasionally, but it all came from his heart.

You were brought back to reality when you heard Ben grunt, dropping the phone against the table and running a hand through his hair.  You looked at him with sad eyes, reaching out and placing your hand over his so gently.

━ Want to talk about it, Chill?  ━ You asked him, watching as the corner of his lips twitched into a small smile with the nickname you gave him.

━ I don't believe you can save me from this situation, Y/N.  ━ Ben manages to say, clearing his throat to help transition into a new conversation.

You didn't want to push it any further - knowing that if Ben was comfortable enough, he would talk to you.  Hell, he told you everything.  Maybe it was because the two of you grew up together, so he had to hit puberty much faster.

Ben got undeniably hot fast, all the girls at his old high school noticed that.  You were about to ask him if he'd like to watch a movie, but his ringing phone interrupted, making you keep your mouth shut for now.

Ben suddenly straightened before grabbing the screen, a hopeful look flashing in his eyes as his girlfriend's name was projected in capital letters and a series of heart emojis.  You rolled your eyes with a small smile and gestured for him to take the call, swallowing your pride seconds after he left the room.  You left the house not long afterward, knowing you probably won't see your childhood friend for at least another week.

Walk in the streets with you and your worn-out jeans

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself

Hey, isn't this easy?

You kicked a few pebbles off the path as you walked, with Ben by your side.  It felt strange for the two of you to be together – but a strangely comfortable stranger, as if life was supposed to be like that.

He was trying to chat a little about the weather, which quickly turned into a funny story of how he fell face first in the rain during last Friday's football game.

Her eyes were mesmerized by him as he threw his head back in laughter, his hands maneuvering in strange ways as he portrayed how the event actually happened.  You returned his laugh as you placed your hand on his bicep to steady yourself, little snorts following after.

━ I can't believe you still do that. ━  Ben said, his hand briefly resting on top of hers to hold her against him.  You raised your eyebrows in sync with the corners of your mouth, your laugh dwindling to a small laugh.

━ Do what?  You'll have to elaborate, Chilly.  ━ With his free hand, Ben lightly tapped the tip of his nose while smiling at his nonchalance.

━ That cute snort you make when you laugh too much.  I hadn't heard this since we saw Madders get stuck in the invisible wall of tape.

The memory provoked her to put her hand to her forehead as she chuckled her iconic laugh once more, remembering poor James' shocked expression as he recovered from the seemingly transparent 'door' and the few seconds that followed where he was frozen trying to understand what had just happened.

━ This is definitely the sound of joy.  ━ Ben said as he looked at you, just for you to poke him playfully.

Oh, I remember you driving to my house

In the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh

When you know you're about to cry

The end of the week approached faster than expected, especially since you spent most of your time pretending you didn't get Ben's text messages.

You needed time to pull yourself together and organize your priorities, and having him suddenly want you back in his life was an unexpected twist.  You've always had a stupid crush on Ben, but unlike the vast majority of girls who did, yours started when you were both young ━ when you had just gotten rid of the braces, and he had already started playing for a football team for the first time.

It was Friday night, and you had just curled up under the sheets, trying to get comfortable as an oncoming storm began to form outside.  Your phone was constantly indicating that you had a new message, but it was just Ben asking if you were going to the football game tonight.  Like the other messages, you ignored it and continued your favorite show on Netflix.

It was midnight when your phone woke you, realizing that you must have accidentally fallen asleep.  You could barely hear the phone ring due to the weight of the rain outside, but you answered anyway, surprised to hear a familiar, desperate voice on the other end of the line.

━ Y/N… I'm down here… me, something happened.  I didn't know where to go... I just drove, and I ended up here... something in me, I needed to see you.  Let me in, please.

He looked distressed, perhaps because he was crying.  You went down to the front door and opened it carefully, suddenly coming face to face with a saturated Ben Chilwell.  You reached out and dragged him inside, your eyes scanning his wet, shivering body.

━ Ben... you're freezing, you're going to get sick.  ━ You exclaimed as softly as you could,  not letting go of his hand, as you led him to your room.

You gestured for him to stay put before grabbing a clean towel from the bathroom, running back and closing the door before wrapping it around your shoulders.  You sat on the edge of the bed as he stood in front of you, seeming to have something to say, but couldn't think of how to start the conversation.

━ Why are you here?  ━ You finally said after a long period of silence, Ben's eyes strayed to the ground.  He cleared his throat a few times before realizing he was just whispering.

━ I saw Charlie with one of the Aston Villa players.  She was on top of him.  I... I asked her what the hell was going on, she basically said I wasn't good enough. Do you believe that? ━ He said exasperated, his hands pulling at her wet hair as it stuck to her forehead.

You closed your eyes for a moment as you took in this information, able to feel Ben's pain from where she sat.  But it wasn't a new pain, it was like it was the kind that was finally released after being repressed for too long.  As if it knew it was coming and would hold out until the dreaded day.

You pursed your lips and rose from the bed, standing right in front of him before taking his wrists and pulling them down between the two of you, your thumbs gently stroking the skin of his knuckles.

━ But why are you here?  At home?  You could have gone to Mase or called Madders.  ━ You muttered, hoping his tone of voice would calm you down.

Those eyes you fell in love with as a teenager were looking at you, taking in your details, your passion, your heart.  They were kind, just like you always knew he was.

━ Something attracted me to you, as if I was destined to be here. Do you know?  ━ He spoke so low you could barely hear him, but you could hear him clearly.

Were you obsessing over him by running out of words, confused as to what he was trying to say – was it a confession of love or some pity plea because you were the only one who cared?  You nodded your head to understand what he was saying, feeling your own radiance toward him for a long time.

A week later, he had returned to his girlfriend.

Standing by and waiting at your backdoor

All this time, how could you not know, baby?

You belong with me

You belong with me

His eyes traveled to the table where all his friends were sitting, everyone paying attention to his presentation.  Except Ben and his girlfriend.  A pang of pain whistled through her heart.  At Christian's words coming back to her mind.

If he doesn't notice, maybe he's not right for you Y/N.

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

You belong with me

Maybe Ben didn't belong to you.  Not how you wanted it.

[caesaryoulater]

Christmas in New York

Bucky Barnes x F! Librarian Reader - Musician AU

Rating: 18+ only, because my blog is, but there’s nothing explicit here

Word count: 777

Summary: Bucky takes you on a trip to New York

Content: Nothing major I can think of. This is mostly just tooth rotting fluff.

A/N: This is my submission for Writer Wednesday. A huge thank you to @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​ for all their hard work! It’s connected to my For the Record series. I don’t think there’s anything too confusing if you haven’t read (I’d appreciate if you did, though!). This takes place after the (still unfinished) main story line.

Masterlist

“Sorry, we couldn’t find a better tree that fits in the apartment,” Bucky sighs. Finding a tree was last minute. The two of you had been out shopping and realized you never decorated. The last couple months have been a whirlwind. First you and Bucky had just started talking moving in together. The plan was to wait until his lease was up then he’d move into your place. Then he got the opportunity to record some of the solo stuff he had been working on in New York.

You remember when he had told you the news. He was so excited. And as excited as you were for him, your heart dropped. Moving in would be put on hold. You assumed you wouldn’t see him for a bit. He was quick to assure you it would only be a couple weeks. And while it’d be over Christmas, you had plenty of vacation time at work. Before you knew it you were in New York. Staying in an apartment a friend of his had subleased to you.

“It’s cute. Especially now that we have it decorated and have presents under it.” You kiss his cheek and set the last wrapped gift under it. Some of them wouldn’t get opened until you returned home. They were things you picked up while you were shopping in the city. Mainly for Bea because Bucky couldn’t resist. He probably would’ve bought out FAO Schwarz if he could. You could already see the “seriously?” stares from Steve and Peggy. The tree was one of the last of the smaller ones on the lot. The only other tree that’d fit the apartment had been a true Charlie Brown tree. You appreciated this had a little more life to it. Really, though, it was more about the experience. Walking around New York. Going to the tree lot. Drinking cocoa. All with Bucky. You hadn’t imagined your life being like this and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not a traditional holiday at home. Or a more aesthetically pleasing tree. Your relationship had never been traditional, why should your holiday celebrations? You were excited to wake up Christmas Day, make breakfast, open gifts, and stay in enjoying each other’s company. No distractions from friends or family. It's your first Christmas together and you’re glad you can spend it just the two of you. He stops you from walking away, pulling you to him. His arm around your waist keeping you close. “I know this probably isn’t your ideal Christmas, but I’m glad you came.” “What isn’t ideal about it? I’m in New York with the person I love. On vacation from work. It’s perfect,” you respond, punctuating your sentences with kisses. He grins and leans in for another kiss, lingering. You wrap him in a hug, face nuzzling into his chest. “As perfect as this is, I can’t wait until we get home. Our home.” The sound of that was like music to your ears. Finally, you’ll get to start your life fully together. Something you used to not be sure would ever happen.

Bucky squeezes her tighter. The trip has been amazing so far. He’s finishing up music he’s proud of with her right there with him. A big part of why he had the courage to go after it in spite of everything. He didn’t imagine he’d go solo. That anyone would want that from him. Especially with how disastrous the break up and tour had gone. And as great as this trip as been, he still couldn’t wait to get back to real life. Their home. They had done a quick move in before leaving. Basically just bringing in boxes to sort and put away when they got back. Luckily with being on the road then at Steve’s he didn’t have a ton of stuff. He didn’t bother doing much with the apartment, hoping it was temporary. He stares over at the wrapped box he plans on giving to her Christmas morning. The larger one concealing the much smaller box inside. The one that he had to sneak to the jewelry store to buy after recording one day. And hide in the bedroom with the door locked to wrap. The one that he had been planning since before moving and the trip came up. He had every intention on making their home truly theirs, making the trip and their first Christmas something to remember. “What’cha thinking about?” Her voice pulls him back to reality. “How much I love you,” he kisses her forehead. “I love you too. Now how about we order some delivery and watch The Grinch?”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hey,

I don’t remember who I sent my ask to, you or @therealvinelle and with your blogs getting deactivated I figured I’d send it again just in case.

So, Jacob hasn’t imprinted on Renesmee right? Does that mean he can imprint on someone else? Like assuming there is someone out there who’d be a match when Jacob might come across her if she comes over to his reservation to visit someone or something like that, do you think he could imprint? Is imprinting stronger than Renesmee’s gift? Maybe since the danger of her getting killed has passed since Jacob is over Bella and they’re friends again and the pack now knows that Renesmee is safe and not a monster, Renesmee’s gift might stop working overtime for Jacob? If we assume imprinting happens, what would be the fallout of this? How does everyone the pack, the Cullens deal with it?

Well, I'm here now, so I guess I get to it first.

The post anon's referring to. Specifically, the theory that Renesmee has a gift and that Jacob's imprint on her is artificial.

With that, let's break it down.

Can Jacob Imprint On Someone Else?

Unclear. For a few reasons at that.

One, this depends on how exactly that gift of Renesmee's works. If she got neurons in Jake's head to fire, if he had any sort of a physical reaction, then the imprinting chemicals may have gone off and for all it's artificial it's still imprinting. This is Jacob on imprint, and so far as we know there's no going back from that once it's happened. You imprint for life.

More than that, imprinting is supposed to have been a very rare phenomenon. Likely, Billy's on the money, and it triggers to pass down the gene in times of dire circumstances. This is why Sam imprints on Emily vs. Leah (who soon becomes a warrior with an interrupted menstrual cycle) and why every imprint we see is within not only the tribe but known shape shifting bloodlines.

If Jake's going to imprint, it's probably would have been someone in the tribe that could help preserve the bloodline and ensure the next generation of shapeshifters.

Well, most of those bloodlines seem to have been paired off for the moment, so even had Jake not imprinted on Renesmee, he'd probably dodge a bullet and not imprint. Especially considering he had not done so already.

Not every wolf in the tribe is going to imprint. Jake could have been one of them.

Is Renesmee Out of Danger?

No.

Jake and Bella's rekindled friendship is based entirely upon his being a thrall in love with her daughter. This is the only thing that now binds them together in any way. It's also the reason Bella's so willing to accept the imprint in the first place despite her reservations: it means she keeps Jake in her life.

Jake, prior to imprinting, sees vampires as demons. He sees them as walking, talking, soulless monstrosities. He's impressed that Alice has enough sentience to even hold a basic conversation.

Jake loathes vampires with his entire being and was seconds away from the murder of Renesmee after her birth.

If the imprint is gone, then it's all over. All that good feeling, all that rekindled friendship, everything that was based off of nothing but an imprint is gone. Worse, Jake awakens to a world in which he has compromised everything he ever believed in, potentially for years, to play house with demons. And Bella did not even have the decency to put him out of his misery like a true warrior. So that she could pretend nothing had changed, that she could have Edward and Jake too, just like she always wanted.

Bella used him, and as for Renesmee, well--she stole everything from him.

I imagine Jake would quite easily pick up where he left off. He'd murder Renesmee and, if he got the opportunity, murder Bella the vampire.

The Imprint Happens

Bella is devastated.

Jake is leaving the Cullens, no ifs or buts, and likely packs his bags in the middle of the night and takes off without a word. This new person is his gravity now, the center of his everything, there's no thought to spare with the demons he's been living with for however long.

So, at first there's confusion. Has anyone seen or heard from Jake? Bella especially is a mess, her world is falling apart. And then they find out, probably Leah (poor Leah) has to tell them: Jake... imprinted. Again. On someone else.

The Cullens are very confused and ask how this is possible. They thought it was a one time deal.

Leah... doesn't know. Leah decides to leave it at that, tells the Cullens that now that Jake is heading back to the reservation that she and Seth are leaving too.

The treaty's still on, they have the Cullen's number, but please. Never come back.

The wolves are officially out of the Cullens lives. No further contact is expected between them except in case of dire emergency: i.e. La Push/Forks is overwhelmed by a vampire army and simply do not have the numbers.

Jake is gone.

Bella implodes. She desperately tries to reach out to Jake, Jake does not return her calls, appears to have blocked her number. Bella is tormented as now her best friend is gone again and she has to face the truth: that he only stayed because of the imprint and she used that.

Bella falls into a deep depression.

As for Renesmee, she thinks this is all quite grand. Finally, Jake is gone and never coming back. Renesmee throws a goddamn fiesta. This disturbs the Cullens greatly as it means that things were not... as pleasant as they had once appeared to be.

The other Cullens aren't quite sure how to take this. They choose to be grateful that they will not, in fact, be watching Jake and Renesmee's wedding. Except for Edward, who despairs that he has lost a son-in-law (Carlisle chooses not to hear that).

As for the tribe, they're a mess.

This isn't supposed to happen. No one has done this before. There's deep discussions for a while but eventually they shrug their shoulders and decide it's for the best.

For Billy, this is a miracle. He feels bad for Charlie, of course, whose daughter is now a demon and who has a... granddaughter... of sorts. There's no helping that, and he wished he could have done something more, but his son is no longer entangled with demons.

Jake is free, is back home, and has imprinted on someone who's not a demon. Of course, Billy probably privately wishes that Jake had not imprinted at all, but at least this one's human.

This is the closest thing to a happy ending Billy's going to get.

As for Jake, well, he's imprinted. He's still not a person. He is imprint.

[adorethedistance]

READING MY BOYFRIEND’S FANFICTION?? - Owen Joyner x Influencer!Reader

JATP masterlist

Requested: OMGGG!! Could you do a an Owen fic based around his girlfriend being an armature youtuber/social media influencer (shes also an actress and they met on set and have been dating for a while) and it’s “reading/reacting to my boyfriend’s fanfiction” ? You can do whatever you want with the fanfic part it’s just a concept that has been running around in my head for a while. LOVE ALL YOUR WORK!!

Warnings: swearing, allusions to sex, very mild

Words: 1460

A/N: A fic?? From Ace?? Hi. I’m off spring break officially and so my stress has dissipated immensely. School was becoming so much these last two weeks and I thought I’d be stressed or worried, but I’m actually fine? It’s weird lol so I decided I could be productive with my stress-free moment and post a little fic for y’all. I love this prompt, and before any of you writers panic, I’m using my own fics for the fanfictions because I wouldn’t want to put y’all on the spot like that. Also this is my 3000 post! thought that was cool lol

“Do you wanna do the intro?”

“I think I have to do the intro.”

“Okay, go for it.”

“Alright,” Owen sighs out a heavy breath in exaggerated preparation for my (some would say lengthy) intro. “Hello, hi. Yes, okay, this is Y/n Y/l/n vlogs, welcome or welcome back to my channel!” Once Owen finishes his statement I’m so stunned I can’t generate any sort of response other than a slacked jaw semi smile.

“That was not even close. Do you know my intro?”

“I got the first part right!”

“You’ve lost intro privileges,” I turn back to the mess of lights and tripods in front of me and ignore the disaster of an intro Owen offered. “Oh, hello, hi! I am Y/n and this is: Reading My Boyfriend’s Fanfiction!”

“That’s basically what I did.”

“No, it is not! It’s ‘oh, hello, hi. I am ‘name’ and this is: ‘title of video’.”

“You don’t ‘welcome to my channel’?” Owen’s voice has dropped to a hushed volume as he genuinely inquires about the segments of my usual introduction.

“I do not.”

“Don’t use any of this,” he pleads when making direct eye contact with the camera. “Mister Sid. Editing Sid, please don’t embarrass me.” His pleas fall on deaf ears, knowing that I’ll be using the footage in full.

“Anyways. Butchered intro aside, I am Y/n and today I am here with my lovely “So Many Stars” costar and scene partner, Owen Joyner!”

“I’m also your boyfriend.”

“That too,” I give Owen’s pointed comment a soft place to land, “So, yesterday--it was actually like, two weeks ago, I don’t know why I said yesterday--a little while back, I came across a tweet telling me someone had written a fanfic about us-”

“Did you read it?”

“On Wattpad. Of course, I read it. There are only three chapters up right now and they’re all in the 2-3k range so it was a quick read.”

“2-3k?”

“Words,” I reply nonchalantly as I unlock my phone. I bookmarked a few one-shots beforehand for us to read, and I’m slightly cocky about my selections. Owen then responds with an outburst of shock.

“2-3 thousand words is a short read?” I merely give him a blank stare.

“Judging by that reaction, Owen hasn’t read any fanfics in his life.”

“Is that not long to you- That’s what she said.” Owen cuts me off with his own stupid joke and I briefly sigh before answering.

“No, that isn’t long. Baby, I’m here for that 130k slow burn enemies to lovers on AO3 with the ‘only one bed’ and ‘locked in a closet’ tropes.”

“The what?”

“Oh, we have so much to catch you up on.”

__________________________

“So I saved three fics, an angst, a fluff, and a smut. Which do you want to read?”

“Wait, what does that mean?”

“Oh my- okay. Angst is the sad shit, it’s what you read when you need your heartbroken and a good cry. Smut is pretty much in the name, it’s explicit content that will undoubtedly get this video demonetized, but that’s okay because we do have a sponsor. And fluff is the cute moments, domestic and sometimes mundane romance that makes you smile like an idiot and put the device down to screech into a pillow.” Throughout my whole explanation, I can tell Owen was becoming more and more lost, so I opt to give him a few moments to collect his thoughts.

“Let’s start with the fluff just to ease into things.”

“Smart choice. This fic I have saved is called ‘Baby Fever’ and the summary says ‘you and Owen spend a day at the zoo babysitting Baby Shada, and her presence sparks conversation about adding a new presence of your very own’.”

“That sounds so ominous.”

“Here, I’ll read the narration and reader’s POV, and then you’ll read your own dialogue.” Owen nods and leans over my right shoulder to read off of my computer screen.

“You actually start the fic.”

“‘You ready, little one?’” The instantaneous actor mode Owen slips into has me howling with laughter at which he looks at me confused. My gasping for air makes Owen laugh empathetically despite still being unsure as to what’s killing me at the moment.

“Why are you laughing?!” He yells, dramatically shaking my shoulder.

“Just the way you jumped into that, I wasn’t prepared for you to turn on the acting charm. Okay, uhhhh, ‘I bite back a laugh when I hear Owen’s voice coo from the back seat’.”

The two of us go back and forth between reading the narrative, bouts of laughter, commentary on the accuracy of Owen’s character, and we finally manage to finish the 2.5k fic in about forty minutes.

“‘When he looks up from CJ’s tiny body and recognizes the familiar ‘baby fever’ look in my eyes, he smiles and utters a simple-’.”

“‘I told you so.’”

“That was cute! I like the tie-in of having us watching over Baby Shada- or, sorry, you and ‘y/n’ watching over Baby Shada.”

“They wrote me kinda funny, I don’t think I’d ever fabricate a life to make conversation with a stranger due to baby fever.” My jaw drops slightly and before Owen can respond to my reaction, I cry,

“That is such a lie!”

“What?”

“You absolutely would do something like that, are you kidding me?!”

“No, I would not!” Owen punctuates every word with the utmost offense. He has the same look in his eye as when he was proving himself to be the cleanest phantom of the three on the Sunset Drive podcast.

“You literally told the guy at Home Depot yesterday that we were buying plants for our child’s nursery!”

“Okay, that’s different-”

“How is that different? That’s the exact same thing as fanfic you!” Owen’s furrowed brow and dropped jaw are a sight to be seen as he leans away from me, bending at the waist to stare at me with defiance. I raise my eyebrows pointedly as I await a response. Instead of actually producing a response, Owen lunges forward, grabbing my waist in his hands and squeezing gently. The feeling makes me screech and gasp of laughter from surprise and also being ticklish.

“Owen! Owe-STOP, I’m gonna drop my laptop!” I manage to say through my laughter and with one final grab, he releases me from his hold. It takes a minute for my laughter to settle but once I do, the two of us are simply breathing heavy and staring at one another with giddy smiles on our faces. In a moment’s clarity, I turn to look into the camera lens to talk directly to my editor,

“Sid, don’t use any of this. And please don’t cut to this after we finish reading to make it look like- things were happening.”

“Actually, I think you should, Sid. Just cut to right there and make the world think we-”

“OKAY, thanks for watching, bye!” I quickly stop the recording before Owen says something we’re unable to recover from. I hear him laugh gently behind me as I set my laptop down on the coffee table behind the tripod. Coming back to the couch, I move to plop down but before landing successfully on the cushion next to my phone, Owen grabs my body and moves me to sit on top of him.

“You are crazy, you know that?”

“Hmm. Crazy for you, maybe.” His cheesy line makes me scoff but smile nonetheless. I reach my right hand up to caress the side of his face as we sit cheek to cheek.

“Remind me to never film with you again.” The gesture is sweet and the sentiment is not which makes Owen laugh and he presses a soft kiss to my cheek. I lean back into him so my back is pressed flush with his chest as he lazily wraps both arms around me.

“You say that now but you’ll regret it when you wanna do a ‘boyfriend does my makeup’ challenge video.”

“Nah. I’ll just call Charlie to-” Without allowing me to finish my sentence, Owen is digging his fingertips back into the tissue of my sides and I squeal with laughter once more. This time the torment is short-lived and Owen releases me after a sweet, reconciling kiss. “Do you have baby fever now?”

“It was cute and all, but not really, no.”

“That’s too bad,” I stand up from my spot on his lap to grab my computer and hold it to my chest, “I was gonna say we could practice some baby-making.”

And with that, I turned on the balls of my feet, heading for my bedroom when I heard Owen stand up eagerly, quick to follow.

***

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13​ @kaitlyn2907​ @itz-jas​ @crybabyddl​ @kcd15​ @kinda-really-lost​ @calamitykaty​ @morganayennefertyrell@n0wornever​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ @mrstodorooki@vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys​ @amazinggracy​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @asdfghjkl-fanfics​ @ghostlygreenbean​ @juliefromaustralia @merceret​ @jemimah-b99​ @ifilwtmfc​ @thesweetestsinner​ @imsydneywalker​ @lovesanimals​ @thebloodthirstyvampress​ @bumbleberry-pie​ @losers-club6​ @tefilovesreading​ @dmcfarland1​@joynerxmercer @kexrtiz​ @talk-on-the-street​ @phantompogues​ @konciousdreamer​ @sunsetcurvej​ @warmnesss0ul​

[rikalovesrice]

My Thoughts on Trollhunters : Rise of the Titans

WARNING : ALL THE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

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Mmmmm. Okay. So I just finished the movie. I’m fatigued as always so this’ll be a bit of a mess lol. Gotta spew the thoughts while they’re still fresh, y’all know how it is.

Right out the gate, I definitely want to talk about the things I loved.

The animation was, of course, phenomenal and gorgeous!

Voice acting was incredible as always

MUSIC SLAPPED

Douxie. I just loved seeing Douxie again and honestly kept my eyes trained on him for most the of movie lol

OK DOUXIE AND NARI SWITCHING?? BODIES??? Definitely didn’t see that coming and I legit started screaming lol

Nari in Douxie’s body is the most precious, chaotic, and wholesome thing like holy cow that was so adorable LOOKIT DOUXIE CROUCHING AND CRAWLING AROUND ON ALL FOURS WITH THOSE NOODLE LIMBS OF HIS I CAN’T --

We called Nari’s mind control and Douxie trying to reason with her!

In the very few scenes they were together, Douxie’s love and affection for Nari really came through. You could really feel how much he cared about her. ALSO THAT TENDER HUG AND NARI’S LITTLE HAPPY SQUEAK MY HEART NO--

Loved Barbara. Always love Barbara.

Walter and Barbara getting engaged

Nomura back in action

Claire being the powerful sorceress she’s become

Loved seeing Aja, Krel, and Varvatos all together again.

NARI VS SKRAEL WAS ALL SORTS OF EPIC AND CRUSHING EMOTIONS.

The way Douxie yelled Nari’s name and ran to her after she died and the remnants of her magic falling all around him, like she was saying goodbye, just *UGLY CRYING*

It was so cool to see Charlie out of his den and flying about like the mighty dragon he is

Loved the Guardians of Arcadia pulling Excaliber out together.

All the gang all going after Bellroc together

YES JIM MY BOOOOOOY

BLINKY DIDN’T DIE

Aarrgh I love you so much

Stuart, what a bro!

We saw a hint of mercy in Bellroc towards the end.

Toby’s death... That was a huge curveball. Jim might as well have cut my heart out with Excaliber as he sobbed over his best friend.

Uh.....um....and.....Er...what else........ .___.

..........Alright so.......It’s about to get a bit brutal from here on out as I talk about the things I didn’t like at all. And the really sad thing is, at least to me, the cons far outweigh the pros in this movie. Because I’m actually having difficulty picking out things I enjoyed, they were so few and far between...which really sucks.

So here we go.

Gosh, where to begin... I guess I’ll go ahead and say this : I’m really disappointed. 

Like as I’m here typing this, I’m just thinking, “...That was it? That was the movie?? The big finale???”

So much of this movie just felt....unnecessary. I hate to say almost like filler. The entire intro re-caping the series really wasn’t needed. And then Toby went and restated it all again when he was being interrogated. The pacing, oh my gosh...Guys, the pacing in this movie was not good. The action started and it never seemed to stop. There wasn’t a single moment of rest, of levity, of our characters just being themselves, getting to know each other, being friends outside of the battle. No Reckless Club Segment. No fun, just... I mean Claire and Aja didn’t speak to each other at all. Douxie and Toby hardly interacted. Steve was turned into a gross male pregnancy joke. Jim and Krel barely spoke. Douxie and Aja had nothing to say to each other. Even Aja and Krel didn’t have any moments together. The list goes on. The whole movie was just go, go, go. And it’s so frustrating because there was time for it but it was poorly executed.

Like was the whole break-in to the Chinese Trollmarket really necessary?? Guys, I really found myself not caring. I didn’t care to see this random side quest involving an insignificant new troll character and a Trollmarket that had little to no bearing on the plot. Did I love seeing Charlie, Archie, Blinky, and Claire? Of course! But these scenes were so pointless. So needless. They could’ve written other ways for all our heroes to go after the chronosphere (Maybe we could’ve had Zoe for crying out loud). But instead this vital artifact was the hands of a character we don’t know and don’t care about in a place that turned out to have basically nothing to do with anything.

Deaths. The deaths in this movie. Because of the pacing in this movie, there wasn’t nearly enough time for the emotional impacts to sink in. Nomura? Gone and the only ones mourning her are Aaarrgh and Douxie, who barely knew her. Walter’s death was handled better since we got to see Jim and Barbara actually having a moment to mourn him. The weight of Nari’s death was singlehandedly carried by Douxie, but even that was over before it started. The immense gravity of Toby’s death, which really got to me, was also short-lived to make way for an ending that...I don’t know. 

ALSO DOUXIE JUST??? BEING OKAY WITH HIS FAMILIAR, THE ONE WHO RAISED HIM AND WENT THROUGH SO MUCH WITH HIM FOR CENTURIES, LEAVING HIM FOREVER TO BE TRAPPED IN THAT DUMB TROLLMARKET WITH CHARLIE LIKE???

“I hope he’s happy.”

WHAT. THE. EVERLASTING. FRICK. 

Douxie’s reaction objectively doesn’t make a shred of sense. Geez, it’s almost like Douxie was expecting Archie to up and leave him someday to be with Charlegmane. Just...what???

What also frustrates me so much is how this movie undid so much characterization and development that happened in Wizards. Or more like all that development didn’t even matter.

What was the point of Steve’s arc in Wizards if he was just going to be reduced to...this?

I was so excited to see Douxie really being a Master Wizard. To see him lead the Guardians of Arcadia alongside Jim. To see him in action as Successor to Merlin and Protector of this Realm.

But no.

Douxie, who had such an incredible arc in Wizards and a character who’s come to mean so much to me in my life, was nerfed and sidelined.

And then time restarts and I can’t help but wonder why any of this mattered at all. What the heck was the freaking point of the suffering, the loss, the pain, the growth, enduring and overcoming so much, the friendships and family spanning across three shows... All gone. Starting all over. Undoing everything, except what Jim went through. As much as I love Jim, I didn’t think he’d be the only character I’d be getting closure for at the grand finale of this entire franchise. But that’s what happened and I really hate it.

Just...all in all, this movie wasn’t satisfying. Not to me. It had its good moments. But not nearly enough. The comedy was misplaced and fell flat. The climax was sorely anticlimactic and didn’t hold a candle to Eternal Knight. The writing, the direction, characterization...For some reason it was all lost and confused and none of it felt right and so much didn’t make sense.

I’m not at all upset with the writers, though, because they still pulled through and did what they could. When the movie did something right, it was beautiful. The things I loved about it I truly adored. No, I’m not upset in the least bit with any of the creative team.

I’m upset with Netflix. I’m upset that Wizards was robbed of the seasons it should’ve had. I’m upset with big cooperations stifling creators. I’m upset that this’ll be it. This is the ending we got and nothing can be done about it.

Aaron did say there’s every possibility for the franchise to continue in some capacity, and I’m hoping for that someday. Because so much, too much, has been left unanswered. So much left to be explored that couldn’t. But until then....I guess this is it. This is what we get.

Now, I want to remind everyone that this is my own personal experience with the movie. These are all my opinions. If you enjoyed every second the movie, that’s wonderful! And who knows how my thoughts will change upon another viewing. But in the meantime, Rise of the Titans really missed the mark for me. I wanted found family badassery and fluff. But nope. Just fighting and heaviness and no payoff. It’s such a letdown...a real shame. 

But yeah...Thanks to any and everyone who read to the end of this haha

I still love Tales of Arcadia. It’s a series that has blessed and inspired me so much as an artist, writer, and as a person in general. I do want to keep making ToA content for a while. Cause this movie isn’t the end. Not my ending, at least.

I’ll continue to hope for more Tales of Arcadia in the future (a Douxie spin-off series please Lord pleaaase). We shall see. Until then, fics and fanart fixing this mess galore haha

Until next time everyone! God bless!

[therealvinelle]

Hi! I really enjoyed your metas where you speculated on what would happen if Edward was turned human. Can you do one for Esme,seeing how she's like a ghost embodying a Mother archetype or something right now. Would she be able to find Esme Anne Platt again?

Lots of love

(Anon is referring to this meta, and this one is also relevant)

You know, I was sure the Muffin wrote that. “Hah, silly anon got us confused again,” I thought.

Nope, turns out I’m very confused. Possibly losing my mind.

So, the thing with Esme is that at the darkest, most hopeless point of her life, she chose to end it all, only death turned out to be Prince Charming whisking her away to live a fairytale ending. The man she idolized in life turned out to be more perfect than she’d dared to dream and she got to marry him, she was given a beautiful and devoted son, and Esme herself became perfect in every way.

I also get the impression from Esme of someone who’s not a fan of change. Kids moving out, Carlisle retiring, herself growing older, the whole change package that comes with being human - I think she likes things the way they are far too much to want the mundane human experience of times changing.

So, Esme is turned human.

It would have to be against her will, because she wouldn’t choose this. Oh, she might say “humanity is lovely, dear” if Edward asks, but she’s not actually going to want this. She’d probably use her family as an excuse, that she doesn’t want to leave them, and they’d be a big part of it, yes- but the core of the reason why she’s saying no is that she doesn’t want to be human.

If Esme is turned human, her first feeling is despair, and her first course of action is ask Carlisle to turn her again. Edward can’t even, Esme choosing vampirism would make him implode and I can’t predict his reaction at all (due to pizza box theory. Basically, with Edward, you always count one more unit of crazy than you need).

If humanity’s not an option, however...

It would depend on how her family handled this. Esme herself might just go full New Moon!Bella, in fact I’d be surprised if she didn’t. I doubt she’ll be up for much.

And the Cullens all feel responsible and heartbroken, it’s terrible watching Esme suffer like this and know that they can’t do anything to help her.

Which brings us to the question of what to do with her.

Having a human living with vampires isn’t going to end well, for a variety of reasons. She’ll likely be eaten soon, for one thing, all it takes is one mishap in the kitchen. Which, I have a feeling human Esme would mean long hours spent cooking and crying, cooking and crying. Then when she realizes she can actually eat the food she’s cooked she cries harder.

Or, as I fear she’s gone full New Moon!Bella, there’s not even crying, just... cooking and gazing emptily into the distance.

There’s the dangers of other vampires coming across Esme, and of the Volturi finding out about her. Humans who know about vampires are turned or killed, and being turned isn’t an option for Esme anymore. And as of Breaking Dawn, the Cullens believe Aro’s just waiting for an excuse to kill them all, and Esme could easily become that excuse.

It’s safer for everybody if Esme’s living elsewhere, but it’s also heartless. This family is Esme’s life, her everything. Losing them would kill her.

I imagine they would all drag their feet, “oh we’ll figure it out, we’ll live in a cave for eighty years and wrap her in bubblewrap if we have to” until the first time someone lost control.

At that point, I imagine the cracks in the family crevisses start showing.

Carlisle and Edward have the best control, they’re not going to kill her. Bella has great control too, or the appearance of it, Renesmée is able to control herself around Charlie as an infant, so presumably she’s not going to lose control either, and Rosalie is also really good while being extremely devoted to famly. Rosalie will refuse to leave Esme in this vulnerable time.

Trouble is, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett don’t make the cut.

We’re now looking at a family that slowly shrinks as Esme is more miserable than ever with having torn her family apart, and the vampires (Rosalie especially) runs to and fro to meet up with the others. It’s... not sustainable.

And it’s not very good for Esme.

I imagine there comes a point where Carlisle realizes that Esme is looking at a future of clinging to the old, never allowed to move past it in part because her family isn’t letting her move past it. They love Esme and want her in their lives as much as possible, so they’re preventing her from having one.

Esme is human now, but the Cullens are forcing her to live in a half-and-half world where she’s neither human nor vampire. She’ll never find happiness living like this, never move past the dream of being Esme Cullen.

They have to let her go.

To Esme, this is the ultimate betrayal and despair. Carlisle gave her everything, and now when she’s at her most miserable, he’s taking it all away.

But at this point there’s no future for their marriage because there shouldn’t be. In time she’ll understand, or so Carlisle (who’s desperately hoping he’s not wrong about this and feels misplaced kinship with Edward in New Moon) prays.

They take her to a faraway but English-speaking country for a true new start, make her promise not to give up, and no one is quite happy but there’s no third door.

After that-

Well, she might recover Esme Platt. Who’s to say, though I think having to fend for herself and accept the less perfect things in life would be very good for her.