#and b) turned out really good
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Congratulations to TEAM CHEESE for winning the popular vote on the Charcuterie poll!
#charcuterie saga#digital art#I initally made the poll as a fun little side thing while I was away and not able to draw -#-and a week later it has become a true battleground of food passion!#I *will* be drawing the charcuterie board soon (I first need to plan out what this thing looks like based on the ratio of votes)#But I also really want to draw more faux stickers like this. Possibly...to make them into actual stickers?#Let's see what the vibes are like after I draw more. I'll do a interest check and if enough people want them...It will be so.#Team Olives and Pickles will get one next. As will team Crackers. You both fought hard but the battle was stacked against you.#Turns out people have very strong opinions about cheese!#Team Jam kept it fun with recommending the most delightful combinations and spreads.#Team meat made me laugh with their chants. Team fruit just wanted a lovely time.#Team crackers were the underdogs but fought a good fight.#Team olives and pickles - you weren't even an official team at the start but you made it your destiny. Well done.#Team Vanilla extract....You made me eat something terrible. Feta. Old chedder. Gouda. Babybel. None of these are good with Vanilla.#Don't ask me how I know that.#(I know I should do a soft goat cheese with some fruit in it. I just haven't had the opportunity yet.)#Thank you all for your participation and for filling my week with whimsy B*)#I've loved drawing these little mice a lot!
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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New comic coming next week or right now if you're a patron
#hope everyone's well#for christmas I learned how to restuff stuffed animals and took two of my spouse's while they were away and restuffed them#b/c I wanted to focus on something they already had instead of getting them something new#and also I knew they'd trust me with their Guys even though I'm not really a sewing guy#to toot my own horn. it turned out great. dramatic improvement. I also sewed a dried lavender packet so one of them's scented now#the both of them together took almost the entire five-pound box of fancy stuffing I got#and the sewing skills I learned let me later remove a very annoying tag from one of my shirts and resew the seam so. highly recommend#also highly recommend needles that are good for hand sewing if you've got stupid hands. they're bigger and easier to wield#and find in the couch#anyway enough about that. hope the rest of your year is good too
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i made a wahrk! i think it turned out pretty good for my first time using sculpey :}
saavedro for reference and a picture of his sad little face
#myst#riven#wahrk#riven 2024#sadly im not too good at fine details with painting#i redid the eyes like. 4 times and i still dont really like how they turned out#he looks very sad#but still pretty cute#if cyan wont make little figures#i WILL#squee is next B} <- has no idea how to sculpt fur
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@svtsource carat revival 2024: Picking Favourites and Fights
↳ Bias: DK | insp.
#seventeen#svt#caratrevival24#dokyeom#dk#seokmin#i tried#yayayayayayayay look at me go!!#i now have (almost) 3 sets for the prompts 😭 where is this motivation coming from#and i finished this one in just oneeee!!!!!! day!!!!!#thank u carat revival 😫#i didn't really know where i was going with this set but i've wanted to use that set as insp for so long#so i knew i wanted to do that#and then i'm always ALWAYS thinking about that dk quote#and then have also been thinking of doing a dk as tumblr tags set but it's hard bc freaking tumblr#only gives you like 5 tags from old sets now#stuff you tumblr#so yeah it's kind of just a mix of all my ideas and thoughts lol#i think it turned out alright!!#almost didn't get there because of the colouring but hey just chuck on a b&w gradient and it's all good
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#i dont particularly do visual art but i sure am (a) good at making heroforge models and (b) decent at tracing heroforge models#anyway im really happy with how this turned out#art by me for once :)
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decided to go back to uni
#ive been DELIBERATING. and its a good choice#look i really can't imagine going back to teaching#and what I really don't want is to scramble for a new career in a new field as a junior without education#besides i know what i want#it's just a bachelors. it'll be over in a jiffy#you get paid to study here and I'll have an easier time finding an apartment too -- its the reason im starting on monday already (not uni b#t I lucked out and got put in some electoral classes that I could take just to get student status until may#and then i start the curator bachelors in august so it just. works. i can scarcely believe it but ill have time to change my mind if i do#IM SCARED. IM PUMPED. I FEEL OLD. IT'LL BE FINE.#also lmao every meeting i had with a councelor past few weeks ended with me sobbing because im so terrified and relieved at the same time#(really can't imagine teaching again i think it would kill me)#(but holy shit starting an entirely new carreer at 32? she wildin')#but yeagh. job ops look great and i have always regretted not turning to history so. AUGH PIC RELATED ME ASF#for a split second did I deliberate studying theology to be ordained just to spit the catholic church in the face? i did. what a laughhhh
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guess my favourite sge chapter challenge (impossible edition). yes i think aric shouldve had long hair he was in that cave for nine whole ass years leave me alone
#if tumblr destroys the image quality of this im ending up on the news#yeah great chapter really good stuff soman. tedros youre on thin fucking ice buddy#also if youre one of the like two people on the discord who saw this before i added the text#and you saw me say that this would be done in like a week#i fucking lied!!!!!!!!! i took the EASY way out i was gonna handwrite it and then caved#this is the first full art piece ive ever finished ever!!!!!!! whoop whoop#this is the first time ive ever drawn a full-body sketch!!!!! whoop whoop#finished this over the course of a four hour long book review#got so insane about f+b that i had to draw it#sge#the school for good and evil#tsfgae#school for good and evil#japethposting#japethposting to the MAX baby!!!!!!!!!!!#there is also a video that exists of me turning the japeth silhouette into the saddam hussein hiding spot thing#which will never see the light of day
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Books of 2024: ORDINARY MONSTERS by J. M. Miro.
Swinging from a teeny tiny read (A SHINING) to this behemoth, which weighs in at 658 pages (that's like. uh. nine (9) SHININGs, never mind about the word density per page).
Did I know this is the first book in a trilogy? No. Did I know the trilogy is not yet complete?? Also no. Will that stop me from reading it now anyway??? Wow, you guessed it: No.
I'm always down books featuring corvids in the cover art and kids with mysterious powers, AND the "man made of smoke" that the jacket promises sounds Very Intriguing. All I know going into this book is what the jacket tells me, though, so I'm excited to be surprised!
#books#books of 2024#ordinary monsters#jm miro#book photography#my photography#okay yes listen#LISTEN!!#i may or may not also have bumped this up the list because a.) the shadowy man made me think of Welcome and#b.) i think there's dimensional fuckery of some sort???#i'm not totally sure but i think i saw a page shot of it somewhere#and yeah the random bit i flipped to in my flipping mentioned being afraid of a hotel and that's uuuuh. relevant#AND it's stylized like NORRELL AND STRANGE and i did love that#i got a new hardback as a remaindered copy for like. $12.#that's pretty good and i had a coupon so i figured Might As Well#i really am hoping i get some driscoll vibes out of this too tbh#it's on my Driscoll Adjacent Stack anyway so we'll see if that's real#i was not feeling particularly inspired with this photo but i was also racing fading daylight and tbh i don't hate how it turned out??#can never go wrong with a tree and some greenery i think#a slug started crawling up my ankle as i took this though which was ????#dude where did you COME from i was WEARING SHOES!!!#YOU WERE SO SMALL!!!#he's outside again now don't worry#(i may or may not have noticed him until i was inside but. now he's outside)
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What If Julius and Subaru both met when Julius was a commoner and Subaru got transported Sooner
fun stuff im sure !! but haah okay given julius was a kid when he was a commoner - yeah theyre both kids here!! not sure how old but definitely somewhere before the age of ten. and i think theyd be up to some shenanigans together im sure!! theyre both very mischevious kids (or from what little we know of little kid julius, given iirc tappei hasnt specified just How Much of a "delinquent" little kid julius is okay. but hes definitely the type to sneak out past curfew or something. stay up late reading too, probably. that sort of thing). and also subarus a kid and no way he ISNT missing home poor guy T^TT getting ripped away from home like that is bad enough at seventeen, getting ripped away from home when you are like. no more than eight or something is Bad. but luckily!! im assuming subaru gets found by the juukuliuses (julius's parents probably?) and thats how julius and subaru form their friendship / long-term yearning for each other (if you so desire that) (okay but no way subaru ISNT gonna form long-term yearning for julius flajsdlf). but yes i think julius and subaru would be silly happy kids together and julius's parents would be like oh no this other kid is so lost where is he from :(( but hes so loved by julius already too... well we got another kid under our roof now.
except. julius's parents die in a flood. so i mean. Hypothetically.... either julisuba survive this one first try or subaru dies for the first time. which. ohh god. oh god. oh g -
#IM. IM JUST GONNA LEAVE ON THAT OMINOUS NOTE#yeah so i think this would turn into childhood friends to Possibly Mutual Pining but actually it might not be mutual if you wanna interpret#reinjuli a certain way. but then but THEN later it can become mutual if u so want#like when u know a person for such a long period of time u change over time. u know?? both you and the relationship u have with this person#has its alterations over time!! thats just how it b but if youre meant to be together youll stick it out <3#julisuba in every universe they befriend each other for good is#Bound to be together for the rest of their lives. To Me. they are soulmates to Me okay their relationship is important#regardless of what form it takes!!! they could grow to think of each other like brothers in an au like this if u so desire too!! which i#think would be really touching <3#yeah so. julisuba childhood friends au. shit goes haywire sometimes. its really awful bc subarus a kid so u can imagine the kind of fucked#stuff hes learning rn hahaha. or you can go the happier route and subaru doesnt learn about rbd until later </3#either way. julisuba real. subarus an eldritch horror. these are both crucial facts for every timeline#i think julius would probs be a bit better having a companion by his side from the very beginning throughout all of this for sure!!#and someone who Gets the jealousy / do i want to be with him or Be him ;-;#i have a fondness for reinjulisuba (THE MESSIEST LOVE TRIANGLE YOUVE EVER SEEN)#and ok if subarus an eldritch horror since childhood then he and reinhard are gonna have Even More in common#hooray for childhood joys and traumas!!!!!#also julisuba visit julius's parents graves :(( leave nice flowers there im sure#subaru-joshua hostility begins also. that sort of thing#rezero#re:zero#ask#natsuki subaru#julius juukulius
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my next edit is probably gonna take 10 years so i am posting this in the meantime :-)
#b and a#i'm actually being dramatic#i did the hard part already#i just have to do the actual editing now#but that will probably take me a good few days so......... yea#it's an edit i've had planned for MONTHS#i was gonna do it in june but decided to wait for dhes' birthday since it's literally entirely about dhes#it's turning out really cute so far!#ngl i am a lil nervous about it since it's not really like. the kind of thing i usually make but#i'm making it anyway bc#i want to#& bc i love dhes & he deserves a post all about him for once#kelly who????#yea
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Ep 6!!!
#Biggest take away from the episode: @fandom Dazai can't be Atsushi's father figure if he himself says Atsushi's father figure is the–#headmaster check your facts#Second biggest take away from the episode: the worst thing the headmaster transmitted Atsushi ought to be the terrible haircut choices#Mmmmhhh I could spend another whole tag rant to talk about how much I dislike the writing of Lucy in this episode 😭😭😭#But I worry I'll start being perceived as someone who hates women if I do so I won't.#(But let me just say. I really really *really* despite the “what women [alien and mysterious beings] want is hard to understand and–#impossible to decipher and more often than not they will say the exact opposite of what they mean” stereotype.#Like I hate it to an intimate extent.)#I quite like Kyouka's backstory!! I feel like she's the most fleshed out female character with a compelling character arc and personality.#I really like her. Lucy and Atsushi working as make-do parents (very largerly intended. More like siblings who are dating but that sounds–#even worse) was very cute. And I appreciate how the events seemed to set off Atsushi's own reflection on parenthood.#The same doesn't happen in the manga since the chapters are placed in a different order.#Overall this is just an episode that when I was reading the manga for the first time solidified my understanding that me and b/sd have#RADICALLY different views on the world. But now that after three years and having long come to terms with it.#I suppose it's just something that's there.#Ususal notes about the animation just for talks. The lack of budget really shows this episode and in the second half in particular.#It's especially noticeable in backgrounds that are just... Not the stunning backgrounds that usually make b/sd's anime strong point.#So in turn the lack of details comes off as twice as evident as it normally would :/#The whole Atsushi / Tanizaki exchange at the start of the chapter until the headmaster's identity is revealed is completely devoid–#of host which has me just?? What happened here??? A track slowly building up tension is an almost automatic choice I'm just like.#What happened. If it was a deliberate choice it was a very bad one in my humble opinion#On a more positive note I really like whoever drew the characters “background appearence” this episode eheh#(you know‚ the more stylized one when they're not on close up)#And the drawings at the end of the episode daz/atsu twilight scene were good. Kyouka's flashback was also good.#That's it :)#random rambles#Oh yeah rip chapter 39 ss/kk scene ig :///
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.
#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals#I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had#trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it#the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport#and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it#I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions#like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i#so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left#to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works#but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder#especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm#which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final#the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources#but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor#that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different#if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier#and with phenomenally less stress#I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc#which is what he wanted it submitted as#except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations#I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where#I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better#anyway#maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough#for me to finish#earl crow ramblings
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Hello Ken Sato Nation
Love this guy!
Sooooo pretty! 😍😍
#actually so in love with this man#pls be real#also I really like how this drawing turned out#I used colored pencil and it looks good yes#I hope I got his features right#I’m pretty sure I did tho#ultraman#ultraman rising#kenji sato#ken sato#ultraman rising fanart#ken sato fanart#sketch#fanart#artist on tumblr#c v r b art
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Miss 2B
#2b#nier 2b#nier automata#yorha no.2 type b#anime#nier fanart#my art#tried to actually render this!!! and i think it turned out rly well!!!!#i can take off the lineart n it still Looks Good#might try to take more time on my art more often bc its rly fun :]#also sorry for the completely white bg i REALLY didnt know what to do#so shes floating in a void pff
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uni semester is going well so far
#presentation was a struggle but it turned out to be good :)#i held it on 3 hours of sleep 🫠💀#but got in between an A and B on it so was worth it i guess 🥳#altough would have prefered to have more sleep but i created nice looking slides#and the article we had to present was so long and almost illegibile even the professor said so lmao#said she felt sorry for us hahah#i just had no time to get it done it was so difficult to find the time to do it and if i have it in winter my motivation is so low#but my partner was nice his slides were a bit basic tho maybe i should just do the slides for my partners as well#i mean i genuinly enjoy creating presentation slides 😅#and i presented the whole thing almost completely without notes and barely felt nervous ^^#that's a big w for me - i was so bad at presentations when i was younger sm anxiety ... for this one i barely cared#so at least my grades are thriving this semester 😂🥳#no that really makes me proud i hope i can continue this trend
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