#and at whatever point someone decides they're done on relationships be it for good or for a while

[historicalhiccups]

just going to be a gremlin in comments because ☠️ I feel like a bitter old wine aunt looking at the prospective choices Of The Youth and just shrieking in my head "PLEASE DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE" but of course you can't tell anyone to make any decision (it's always their right to make) but you can hope and pray they're smarter and wiser and more clear sighted than you (or your peers) ever were

[madlori]

On Tommy and narrative threads

So some fans who are vehemently anti-Tommy frequently use the talking point that they need to have Buck confront Tommy about his past behavior while under Gerrard, or have him find out about it if he doesn't already know, and that he should break up with him about it. Or they need some kind of reckoning to happen with Hen and Chim in order to move forward.

I'm 95% sure neither of those things are going to happen, and here is why: the show considers that narrative thread to be closed.

It has run its course. It's done. It's been resolved. As fans and viewers - and as many of us are fic readers and writers - we always want to see things hashed out onscreen in exhaustive detail but that's not practically possible. The narrative sometimes has to signal that threads are resolved in other ways, in the way characters act towards each other and speak about each other.

Throughout the course of the three Begins episodes in which he appears, the writers clearly selected Tommy to represent the "firefighter who acted kinda jerky but got better through personal growth and friendship with new people" narrative. By the end of Bobby Begins Again, this narrative is more or less complete, as we've now seen Tommy act to support Hen and also be accepted into a friendly relationship with both her and Chim, not to mention Bobby. When he reappears in season 7, nobody acts like he's anything other than a friend, and Chim outright admires him.

This is the conclusion of this thread, as far as the show is concerned. Did he ever sit down with Hen and Chim and make some big speech or have some big discussion about how he's learned and changed? Probably not. Those kinds of direct conversations sometimes do happen in reality, but more often than not, you just spend years working with someone and your opinion of them shifts as all of you change. And remember, Hen and Chim worked with Tommy for years before Bobby even showed up.

And ask yourself this question: if Hen and Chim have both moved on, and have accepted whatever direct or implicit apology Tommy offered, how is it Buck's business to decide that no, that's not good enough, HE'S going to demand some kind of restitution on their behalf? That's patronizing as fuck. These are people with their own agency who don't need Buck to advocate for them and exact some kind of retroactive revenge for something they're not even mad about anymore. Would he be upset that Tommy ever made off-color remarks, or was less than welcoming to people who are now his friends? Maybe. Is he upset that Eddie nearly killed a man? Is he filled with moral outrage and disappointment that Hen cheated on her wife? Chim physically assaulted him, and so did Bobby. Is he still holding that against them? Is he upset NOW that nobody's speaking up on HIS behalf when Gerrard targets him? Buck's an adult. He knows that people frequently look back on their past behavior and cringe at what jerks they were, himself included.

Tommy has several times alluded to being ashamed of his past actions. He knows the score. The message we're meant to take from those comments is that he's taken steps to not be that guy anymore. Need he flagellate himself forever? Does this need to cost him and Buck a relationship they both value? It can't have been easy to come from a terrible father, go into the army, then into the LAFD with a terrible captain, and then to meet people who challenged your behavior and made you want to be a better person. The fact that he became a better person is something he should be admired for, not punished.

[notebooks-and-laptops]

We all know that the real reason you hate Veilguard is that non-white people have agency and power in the story, unlike your precious BG3 fetishizing racism. Imagine you giving a shit about the fact that Karlach's story is incomplete because Sven Vincke believes that oppressed minorities deserve racist abuse.

Okay so obviously this ask wasn't sent in good faith (and bizzare considering Karlach, Lae'zel and Wyll are my favs in Bg3 and I've been outspoken about disappointment in their treatment by Larian compared to Astarion but I digress). But it has prompted an interesting thought because....

What agency do characters (any, but especially our non-white as anon has pointed out) have in Veilguard? I think of any RPG (maybe even any videogame?) the Veilguard companions have the LEAST agency I've seen.

All RPGs involve an element of helping to decide your companions fate; will Merrill smash the mirror or keep it? Will Isabela come back? Will Alistair become a warden, a king or a drunk? Will Leliana let ruthlessness or compassion rule her? And how you play does effect this; often there are important choices at certain moments.

I think these decisions in general work better when they're slowly built up over a number of choices (e.g. Leliana in DAI, who will be divine) or come from approval/disproval (Merrill smashing the mirror if she feels she has nobody on side vs. keeping it if she feels she has you at her back). This is because in these situations the characters are not just asking what to do to the player they are influenced by numerous situations and circumstances and that effects the decisions they make.

But veilguard...well. the approval system doesn't exist. None of the companions can hate or dislike Rook, they can only like you to various degrees of intensity. So that doesn't effect anything. They have no agency over their relationships and whether or not they like someone. And there is a total of one choice which I would say truly affects the game long term (maybe you can argue two if you say a meaningful decision with long reaching consequences can happen an hour before the game ends) and even making that choice won't really sour Lucanis or Neve against you fully.

I've mentioned a few times that veilguard companions have no line in the sand; they're very maluable to just...whatever Rook tells them. None of them have strong opinions about magic, religion, race, culture, society. Is that agency? Is it agency to water down a character so they have no stance on anything? Can a companion HAVE agency if they don't have any real negative opinions ever? If they never truly get to be influenced by the world to make decisions for themselves?

Each companion has a choice of two endings and Rook makes them for the companion in question. DA has done this kind of decision before (Bull comes to mind) but they've never followed such a formulaic system in which everyone looks to Rook at one moment and decides the fate of their lives (and in Bellaras case their people) from one decision the player makes. The companions don't push back against Rook for making a choice they dislike or regret letting Rook make for them. When you chose to kill Avelines husband for her she is pissy at you YEARS later for making that decision for her in the moment. In veilgurd there is just. Nothing. They lack any real agency in the narrative at all that can last beyond the scene they're in.

This I think is particularly aggregious with Bellara and Taash; Bellaras agency in the narrative is completely bulldozed by the fact that Rook is allowed to decide whether or not she keeps the archive spirit; something with deep significance to the Dalish/her culture. There's an excellent post about how this is akin to book burning even if DA didn't mean for it to be. You can just tell her to get rid of it and she does! No regrets! Because her culture is never truly at the forefront of her storyline it's viewed as something tangential to who she is; something she can easily discard if you tell her to. Is that agency? She doesn't get mad at you for any particular decision, is that agency?

And then Taash...God Taash deserved so much better. They're living a story about lack of binaries and yet every single choice is about forcing them in one. Taash says they're happy being multicultural at the beginning of the story and you slowly but surely strip that from them and you're FORCED to do so. Is that agency for them? Is that what you think giving characters agency Is? Is that not one of the more racist/insensitive options Bioware has EVER placed before a player.

Davrin spends the narrative learning there is more to him than having to die at the end of a hard fight; he becomes a father, and allows his love of Assan to guide him in the sense that Assan acts as a mirror; just as the griffins can be reframed as protectors of Arlathan rather than just wardens doomed to die so can Davrin...but then they decided that Davrin should be up as the choice of who dies and not only that but they made that decision because they thought players would find it hard to chose between ASSAN and Harding not Davrin and Harding. Which. Is gross. I do think Davrins storyline is handled the best out of everyone which is why he's my favourite, but the ending just adds a bad taste to my mouth.

Neve, Dorian, Mae and the Black Divine are happy to leave their countries future political situation to a complete outsider no questions or disagreements mentioned. Is that uhhh. Is that agency?

Even Solas is stripped of any agency in this narrative; Mythal made him do it! If she says he can stop he will! What? Where did THAT come from? How uninteresting does that make Solas?

As for if the Veilguard companions have power or are in positions of power....I guess? Maybe? Neve can be the leader of a smuggler gang (don't think too hard about what they might smuggle in the slave capital of the world) which is a position of power. Or an...inspiration? Which gives her very little concrete steps towards actually helping docktown. Lucanis can lead the crows I guess? That's powerful...altho he doesn't seem to want the position or be able to refuse it or even complain about it. We have no idea or clue what happens to Harding, Davrin, Taash after the game but hey maybe that's because they could all be dead.

The characters ARE powerful ill give you that. We have some immensely powerful mages in our party and I LOVE every scene where Neve throws up a sheild or places herself as a shield to protect her friends. I wish we'd got to see more of Bellaras science and tinkering smarts but what we get is GREAT. But having a powerful character isn't the same as a character having agency in their story or being able to effect meaningful change.

So yeah. I mean. Obviously bad faith anon straw manning me because I dared to have an opinion about a game they happen to like (and liking the game is fine! I like parts of the game! I think the characters deserved better but hey ho). But I think it's interesting to think about agency and power in this narrative because....I don't think anyone actually gets much of it. Certainly not in comparison to previous DA characters like Blackwall, Leliana, Viv, Zevran, Fenris, Anders, Merrill, Isabela etc.

[narryffdreaming]

A TOAST TO THE FUTURE — TWO

Summary: Aurora and Harry used to be friends, but life happened and they grew apart. Now, 6 years later, they meet again.

Rating: +18

WARNINGS: The story contains explicit language and mentions a past abusive relationship (mostly the consequences of psychological/emotional abuse). Some chapters also contain explicit sexual content.

PART TWO: 14,9k words Please read: Part two explores a lot of Aurora's irrational thoughts and it shows how much she struggles to be herself after being married to someone who was emotionally abusive to her. From my perspective, it's a really important chapter to develop the relationship between Aurora and Harry, but I want people to be mindful of its content in case they don't feel comfortable reading about this, or in case it hits too close to them. Feel free to reach out if you want to skip something and you'd like me to fill you in. <3

PART ONE

Despite the line, getting through security would've taken Aurora hardly three minutes. That is, of course, if she hadn't had to wait for Harry for another ten. 

He doesn't look the least apologetic for the held back, though. Nor bothered in the slightest by the extra time he seemingly needed. Smiling at her and holding their shared tray as he tilts his chin to an empty table and leads the way towards it. 

Aurora follows him quietly, checking her watch just to make sure they won't run out of time. And she does it unconsciously, regretting every time she catches herself looking at her wrist. Because she knows they're early. She swears she knows. And she wishes she could relax and just enjoy things without that awful feeling rushing through her body. That feeling that turns into a voice and yells at her that she's constantly behind. 

Behind what, one could ask, and Aurora wouldn't be able to answer.

She's just… Behind. 

Behind, and watching her life go by.

All the damn time.

Harry stops by the table, and Aurora mimics him. She drops her bag and falls on one knee, pulling up the hem of her dress and uncovering her foot. The Nike sneakers she's wearing used to be white once, but now they are just old and dirty, and she loves them even more like this. She nibbles the flesh inside of her bottom lip while tying the shoelaces up, then changes to her other knee, and repeats the process. 

Once she's done, she stands up and pats her legs, getting rid of any airport floor dirt from her clothes. 

"You're fast," Harry says, putting his foot down from the edge of the table. 

Aurora pulls the fabric of her dress up her chest and furrows her brows. "I am?"

"Hm, yeah." He frowns with amusement and chuckles. "You sure are."

"Huh." She wiggles her eyebrows up and down, then quirks the corner of her mouth up. 

Maybe, she should point out that perhaps she isn't fast, but he is too slow. Or that, unlike him, she'd organized everything beforehand so she wouldn't waste any second longer than she absolutely needed to. But what good would that do? Besides, those thoughts don't even feel like hers. They don't sound like hers. 

So she says nothing, instead, and steps closer to where he stands. 

Harry gives the tray they're sharing a gentle push to her side, and puts his other foot up. 

Aurora promptly slides the tray closer to her and places it in front of her belly, next to her bag. 

Great. 

Saying nothing was a bad idea, because silence is awkward now. 

She licks her lips and keeps her attention on their belongings, not knowing exactly what to say. 

Time goes by, though, and the longer she waits, the more awkward it gets. 

So she decides to just say whatever, just to get them talking again. 

"Perks of being a mom, I guess." She blurts out, then grabs their passports and shrugs. "Being fast, I mean." 

Harry leans on his bent knee and looks at her over his shoulder, blindly tying up his own shoes. 

"Yeah? Why's that? You get any super speed powers when you're pregnant or something?"

Aurora freezes for a second, passports still in hand. She turns her head to the side, and narrows her eyes at him.

Harry's soft lips are pursed, his green eyes are twinkling with playfulness, and his cheeks are tinted with a boyish flush under his facial hair. He's clearly having fun with his own silly comment, and it causes Aurora to break into a short laugh — not because it's funny, but because she simply can't help it. 

She shakes her head, and looks back at the tray. 

"I rush to get ready so I can pay attention to Noah, okay?" she explains, grabbing the boarding passes and checking the names on them. She puts hers inside of her passport, and the other inside of Harry's. "It's not a big deal."

She'd never thought about it, but it's the truth — she is usually busy keeping an eye on Noah, even from a distance. The little monster can't stay still for too long, and no matter how much she adores how energetic he is or that she tries her best to let him explore things by himself, the truth is that he's still only four, and she can't leave him wandering around unattended.

Which is why she fought so hard to sign him up for preschool — it gave her time to slow down and do other things, too.

Okay. See? That — that right there — is Aurora's truth. That's a thought that feels and sounds like hers. A thought that she came up with on her own, based on her own experiences and her own mistakes. A thought that reveals how she's learned that taking care of Noah is her responsibility, and that if she doesn't pay attention to her son, nobody does. 

No matter how much she dreamed it would be different.

No matter how much she believed it should be different. 

"Ohhh," Harry says. "Ok, then."

She sticks her passport and boarding pass into the front pocket of her bag, maybe a little bit more forcefully than she needs to.

"Exactly. So don't judge me."

"What?!" Harry laughs, putting his foot down from the table. "I wasn't—" 

"I can't leave my son unattended, can I?"

"I—I know, yeah." His face falls, and he nods. "I get it. That's… It makes sense. Yes." 

"Right. Great." 

A second goes by, and then another one, and another one.

Silence settles again, but this time Aurora isn't worried about it being awkward or not. 

There's just… So much going on. 

Her heart is thumping loudly inside her chest, and her ears are buzzing. 

She shouldn't have snapped at him. 

She shouldn't have snapped at him.

It wasn't about him. 

It wasn't his fault. 

She pinches the tip of her nose and breathes in. Slowly, and steadily. 

One more time. 

Slowly.

And steadily.

And then, she moves again.

She holds Harry's things in her hand and leans on the table, reaching for his bag. Before she touches it, she looks at him over her shoulder and asks, "Do you mind if I open your bag?"

Harry doesn't answer, though. He's tilting his chin down and shaking his leg, making sure his pants are properly covering his ankles. 

Aurora purses her lips and straightens her back, then slides his bag across the table and pulls it closer to her body. 

Now everything's in front of her, the tray caged in between both duffel bags. 

She bites her bottom lip, but it's hard to stop her mouth from turning into a smile. 

Maybe the speed in which she moves isn't an inconvenience, after all. In fact, maybe it even comes in handy, because apparently if she doesn't move for both of them, someone will sooner or later shove them away. 

"Harry," she insists.

"Hm?" He looks up. A frown crinkles his face — his eyebrows are pulled together, his forehead is puckered, and his lips are curled downwards. As soon as he meets her eyes, though, his shoulders drop, and he shakes his head. "Sorry."

He scratches his jaw, dragging his nails over his stubble. 

Aurora stretches her arm, and pats her hand on the edge of the table, where his feet were a minute ago. "It's fine. I was just asking if it's okay to put your passport inside your bag."

"Oh! Yeah yeah, sure. Go ahead. Thanks."

"'Kay," she says, already unzipping the front pocket and putting things away. 

Aurora rolls her shoulders at the same time Harry moves closer, and she unthinkingly snatches his belt from the tray and hands it to him. 

"Here."

"Oh," he murmurs, grabbing it from her fingers. "Thanks."

He steps away, but there's something in his voice that somehow catches her attention, and Aurora turns her head. 

She glances over her shoulder, and peeks at his face. 

Harry is looking down again, chin pressed against his chest while he takes the end of his belt and puts it into the first front loop of his beige pants. His movements are casual, but he's holding back a smile, and Aurora can tell his mind is working on something.

Something silly, to be more specific. 

She curls her mouth up, then raises her left eyebrow. "What?"

Harry tugs his belt, threading it through the second loop. 

"What?" he repeats, and his mouth finally turns into a grin. 

She turns her body towards him, then places one hand on her waist and the other spread open on the table, holding up her weight. "C'mon, out with it."

Harry laughs, slightly bending his knees and throwing his head back. "I didn't even say a word!"

"Well, you didn't have to!" She rolls her eyes and chuckles, backing away from the table to put both hands on her hips. "I can see you're thinking something."

He shakes his head, looking down and threading his belt through the next loop. 

"Harry…"

He peeks at her through the corner of his eyes, then focuses back on his belt. 

"You're aware you can leave me unattended, right?" he asks, keeping a bright smile on his face and the light tone on his voice.

"What?"

"I mean I don't mind." He shrugs, eyes still on his current task. "Gotta admit it's kinda cute to see you like this." 

"I don't—"

"My favorite part was probably when you cleaned up the table."

"I—" Aurora closes her mouth, and exhales through her nose. "You put your feet there, Harry."

"I did, yeah. And you cleaned it up."

"Well, someone has to clean up your mess, don't you think?"

Harry glances at her, and smirks as mischievous and suggestive as he can be. "Oh, I always clean up my mess, love, don't worry about it."

He winks, and Aurora gasps. 

"Oh my God!"

She turns to face the table, feelings her cheeks getting warm. 

Harry laughs, though, so she steps closer to his side and nudges him with her elbow. 

"Shut up."

"'Kay mum."

"Ughhh." She rolls her eyes, then shuts them tightly and takes a deep breath in. "You're so annoying." 

Harry's laughter only grows louder, and Aurora shakes her head, blinking her eyes open again. 

It only takes him a moment to calm down, but the smile is still obvious in his voice when he speaks again. 

"I know. I'm just teasing you, tho. I'll stop now. I promise."

Aurora snorts. "Yeah, right." 

She believes his words as much as she believes Noah when he promises he will eat his entire dinner if he gets to eat dessert first. 

The thought brings a smile to her face, and she bites her lip to hold it back. 

Peeking inside the tray one more time, she finds several rings, a bracelet, a watch, and three necklaces. Her mouth twitches, and her chest trembles with amusement — no wonder why Harry took so much longer than her to get through security.

She pulls the string of her necklace from the tray, takes each side to the back of her neck and quickly clasps it back to its everyday place. Next, she grabs her watch, and puts it on just as fast around her wrist. 

"Well,"  she starts, then looks at him. 

Harry is, once again, deeply focused on his task — his chin touches his chest, his eyebrows are pulled together, and he's biting his bottom lip. 

"All yours now," she adds. 

Harry peeps at her through the corner of his eyes, his hands still attached to his belt as he finally reaches the last loop. He darts his vision to the tray, then back at her, scanning her chest, her wrist, and her hands. "You sure? All of it?"

"Mhmm."

A group of people walks to their table, and Aurora takes a step aside to give them more room.

"Ok." He buckles his belt, then fixes his shirt. "We can go, then."

"Oh. I didn't mean to rush you."

He smiles, putting one hand inside the tray and carelessly collecting everything that's left inside. 

"You didn't." He closes his hand into a fist, then shoves everything inside of his pocket. "It's just getting crowded here. C'mon."

"Hey, was my joke inappropriate?"

Past security and turning right, the hallway is significantly less hectic than any other area Aurora has walked through in the last hour or so. 

It is probably one of the brightest, too. 

"Hm?" she asks, tilting her head to give Harry her full attention. "Sorry, what joke?"

"About… Y'know, cleaning up my mess."

"Ohhh." Aurora laughs, then waves him off. "Please, it's nothing any of you guys haven't joked about before." 

"I know, but… Things are different now, aren't they? Don't want to make you uncomfortable, or, well, don't want to be disrespectful to your hus—"

"You're fine," she says, cutting him off before she'll be forced to either correct him or say nothing, implicitly letting him believe there's still a husband in her life. "Don't worry about it. Let's stop here so you can put your rings back on, yeah?"

She points to one side of the hallway, and walks in front of him to guide the way. It only takes her a few steps, then she places her bag by her feet and turns around. 

When she looks at him, she finds him frowning. 

Frowning and frozen on the spot. 

"Harry, hey!" She raises one hand and wiggles her fingers. "C'mon. I'll help you."

Harry's face softens. He shakes his head, then walks towards her while putting his hand inside of his pocket. 

Leaning against the white wall, Aurora watches him come to a stop right in front of her, then drop all of his jewelry on top of her spread open palm.

"Thank you," he murmurs. 

She finds his sight again, and a smile blooms across her face. "Sure, no problem."

His lips curve into a smile, too, and he looks down. He shakes his head and pulls his hair back, then turns his attention back to the items on Aurora's palms. He seems meticulous about which ring goes where, fiddling with them and hunting for specific ones. Eventually, he grabs three at once, and puts them on his pinky, middle and index left fingers. 

Aurora raises her chin and rests the back of her head against the wall, comfortably watching his relaxed face as he towers over her. 

From what she remembers, jewelry was never Harry's thing. Long hair and skinny jeans? One hundred percent. But the necklaces, the rings, and the bracelets? Those were things she'd no idea he'd be into. Or maybe not to the point of making them part of his casual look to the airport.  

"So," she teases, easing her dry lips with her tongue then forcing her voice to sound exactly like she imagines a reporter would sound like, "Harry, would you say you enjoy wearing rings?" 

Harry darts his eyes to her, and the expression on his face never falters, holding a serious and unamused demeanor as he moves his lips to say, "Bloody hate them."

She presses her lips together, but then she snorts, taking her free hand to cover her mouth. 

Harry shakes his head and grins, changing hands and catching two more rings to put on his right fingers. 

"Why? What's wrong with my rings?" 

She sighs and shrugs, calming down from her brief moment of foolish, silly laughter. 

"Nothing. 'M just teasing you."

He places the last two, and pulls the two golden strings from her palm. 

"Hmm…" Harry nods. He fixes his eyes on the jewelry and frowns, eying the many tiny knots that had formed along the necklaces. "Great, then. Glad you're having fun at my expense."

Aurora drops her jaw.

"You were making fun of me two minutes ago!"

Harry chuckles, although he's distracted by his attempt to untangle his necklaces. "Guess I was, huh."

He shakes his head, and Aurora steps away from the wall, getting closer to him.

"Which wrist do you wear this one?" she asks, lifting her hand and his bracelet.

"Left—I mean, right," he answers, and although they don't look at each other's faces, they both smile at the same time. 

Harry remains focused on the knotted strings between his fingers, but stops moving when Aurora curls one hand around his right wrist and pulls it closer to her face. In one quick movement, she clasps the item around it, then taps his hand twice. 

"All done. Now gimme that." 

She snatches the necklaces from him, and observes carefully before undoing the mess. One of the golden strings is longer than hers, but they're both just as delicate, and instead of a disk, one holds a cross pendant, and the other a tiny, thin tag. She bites her lip and patiently fiddles with the pieces of jewelry, taking her time to unwrap the tiny knots.

Things are quiet. Time ticks without a hurry. And after a minute, or maybe two, or three, she grins proudly, and lifts her chin to look at him.

"Look!" she says, even though she doesn't have to — Harry's already looking at her, already watching her. "I've done it!"

He blinks a couple of times, then nods, slowly mimicking her smile and her excitement. "Y—You did, yeah! Thanks."

"You're welcome." She grabs the longest string, picking each side with one hand, and takes a step closer to him. "I find untangling necklaces weirdly therapeutic." 

Harry widens his eyes. "What are you doing?!" 

Aurora rolls her eyes, and chuckles. "Calm down. I'm not gonna kiss you, don't worry."

"Right. No, yeah, I know that." He chuckles, too. "Of course." 

She stops moving and tilts her head, then raises her hands. "I mean, can I?"

"Wha—" Harry takes a step back. "Kiss me?!"

"Harry!" Aurora shrieks, also taking a step back and away from him. "Oh my God, no!"

She looks at him for a moment, taking in his bulged eyes and raised eyebrows. He looks mortified, and there's so much going on at once that she can't help but burst into laughter — at the misunderstanding, at the look of his face, but also at the terror in his voice. 

She turns away from him, throwing her head back as laughter breaches from her chest. 

"This is… I can't…"

"Sorry," Harry says, "I just—"

Aurora shakes her head, feeling warmth radiating from her chest throughout her entire body. 

"Oh my… Oh my God." She places one hand on her stomach and brings the other to her face, fanning herself while taking a deep breath in through her nose. "You should've… You should've seen your face… Oh God… Harry… You panicked so hard, I just…"

She wipes a tear from under her eye, and takes another deep breath in, working to calm herself down.

"I never… I never thought the idea of kissing me could… Could be that terrifying for someone. Oh God."

Harry sighs. "Auri…"

She turns around, and looks at him with the biggest smile on her face, her body still shaking from laughing. 

Harry isn't happy, though. Or at least he doesn't seem to be. He's narrowing his eyes, and furrowing his brows. His lips are pressed into a hard line, and his forehead is puckered. 

And just like that, Aurora's laughter fades away. 

Shit. 

She's too familiar with that dynamic, so she clears her throat and shakes her head. 

"I'm sorry. I—I know it wasn't funny. I just… I think I haven't laughed this hard in a really long time, so I just… I got carried away, I guess. I'm sorry. But I shouldn't—Sorry." 

"Listen, I didn't—"

"Yeah, yeah. I know." 

Actually, Aurora doesn't know. Of course she doesn't know. She has absolutely no idea what he was about to say, but she doesn't want to talk about it. She's been there before. And she's been there before so many times that her mind and body don't even know how to react any other way. How not to anticipate the humiliation and shame that is about to follow. How not to completely shut off. 

Thankfully, Harry seems to get it, because he nods, grabbing his necklaces from her hand and putting them back inside of his pocket. 

And this time, Aurora doesn't say anything about it, grabbing her bag from the floor and feeling ready to move on.

"Do you mind if we take a look around some of the shops?" Aurora asks, pointing around the World Duty Free and breaking the silence that settled between them for the past few minutes. 

Harry moves slowly next to her, keeping his hands inside of his pockets. "'Course not."

"Thanks." She makes sure to curve her mouth into a smile, then stops at the first shop to take a look at the makeup. 

Things are quiet, but Harry stands right behind her all the time, keeping her company while she brings a lipstick closer to her face to check the color shade, and then following her steps when she moves to a different shelf. 

"Hey," Aurora says, looking over her shoulder, "what's your cologne?"

"Hm..." He scratches his jaw and shrugs. "Depends on the day, I guess."

She nods, then turns to face some nail polish, aiming for the brightest options. 

It's been a while since she's done her nails. She used to love looking at her hands and seeing them colorful and filled with rings, it used to make her feel beautiful and delicate. Feminine. 

Zack used to love it as well, though, and to be honest at some point she stopped doing a lot of things Zack liked. Just because.

"Which one are you wearing today, then?"

"Why?" 

She shrugs. His voice is right behind her, but Aurora doesn't turn around to look at him. 

"'Cause you smell really nice." 

Maybe she could do her nails in Italy… Maybe one of the girls brought something with them. 

Or maybe she could get something herself…

The orange shades look nice…

She sighs, and steps away from the shelf. 

She can't. She shouldn't spend her money like that. She needs to be more careful now, especially since she spent a lot of unplanned money on that trip to Italy. 

She turns her head, wiggling her eyebrows at him. "So…?" 

Harry clears his throat. "Uh… Well… It's Guerlain."

Aurora twirls, holding her bag close to her body as her hair and dress follow her brisk movement.

"Cool! Let's find it, then." 

She walks away, and Harry's low chuckle echoes behind her. 

Although she can't see him, she feels his presence all the time, following her pace.

"What for?" he asks. 

"I don't know." She shrugs, looking from one side to the other. Scanning all the tiny duty-free shops. "I'm bored, I'm tired… Oh! There it is!" 

Her pace quickens, and so does Harry's.

Aurora only stops when she's in front of the Guerlain shelves, and then she turns around, staring at him with a smile on her face and pointing her arm to the many colognes displayed behind her. 

"Which one is yours?"

He clears his throat, and— 

Wait, is he blushing? 

Aurora purses her lips, holding herself back from laughing.

"It's L'Homme Idéal Extrême."

"Hmmm." She wiggles her eyebrows, and pulls one corner of her mouth up in a smirk. "Sounds sexy…" 

"Jesus Christ," Harry grunts, hiding his face behind both of his hands and shaking his head. 

Aurora laughs at his reaction, tapping his shoulder twice before turning on her feet and looking for his cologne. 

"What happened to you in the States, huh?" She leans down, squinting to read the names. "Never thought I would see Harry Styles getting all shy in front of me."

It takes him a moment to answer, but eventually he mumbles, "I've always been shy in front of you."

Aurora pauses for a moment, replaying his words in her mind. Images of them hanging out together pop up immediately — at the pub, at someone's apartment, after class, over the weekend. His cheeky glances, touchy hands and bold comments are always present, one way or another. He always craved attention, and people had no problem granting his wishes. 

It never bothered her, because he was young and had just joined university, but it certainly didn't paint him as a shy and reserved person. 

A snort leaves her mouth. "Yeah, right." 

She stands, and puts her hands on her waist. "What was the sexy name again?"

"L'Homme—" He sighs. "It's this one."

Aurora turns around, only to find Harry standing in the same place they were a minute ago. The shelf next to him is filled with bottles of the same cologne. Apparently, his cologne.

She gasps. 

"Harry!" She walks towards him, and Harry shakes his head in soft laughter, scratching the back of his neck. "I was standing right next to it and you didn't tell me!"

"It's just a very common cologne, Auri." He laughs, again. It sounds kind of shaky, though, and she frowns, stopping on her track. "I don't… Why are we looking for it?"

Uh… 

Well… To be honest… She doesn't have an answer for that. 

She doesn't know why they're looking for it. She is just joking. She just wanted to pass the time because she is exhausted, and because the longer she spends around people, the more afraid she is of falling apart at any moment. She thought maybe she could try it on, see if his cologne would smell as well on her skin as it smelled on his… Who knows… She was just… She wasn't thinking, okay? She was just being her stupid self.

Harry, on the other hand, isn't just messing around. Harry looks actually nervous. 

Her jokes are making him nervous. 

She is making him uncomfortable. 

In the middle of an airport, filled with people. 

Shit.

And she's done it twice now. 

First with the necklace… Now with the cologne… 

Fuck.

How many more times till he reaches his breaking point? 

How many more times till she finally pushes him through the edge? 

How many more times till she puts him in a position where he won't be able to stop himself from snapping at her?

Her hands shake, and her stomach quivers. 

"Yeah, no, I mean…" She shakes her head and smiles at him, closing her hands into fists and placing them behind her back. "You're right. Sorry. I—I'm really sorry. Hm… I think I… I should get a coffee."

Harry flinches his head back. "Wait  what?"

"Coffee. It'll keep me awake." She walks around him, and Harry follows her movements. 

"Auri, but what… Hey! What about my cologne?"

She waves it off. "Yeah, I know. I was just being annoying." 

She moves towards the exit of the duty-free, where all the departure gates are, and another yawn breaks through her lips. 

"Yep." She chuckles. "Definitely need some coffee."

"Auri," Harry calls, catching up with her. "Hey, stop. C'mon. Something just happened."

"What do you mean?" Aurora laughs. 

She flexes her fingers, curling and uncurling them. Her eyes wander around the airport, looking for a coffee shop. 

A coffee shop. 

A coffee shop. 

She needs a coffee shop. She needs to get herself together. She needs to busy herself with something before she does something silly and stupid again. 

"I… I don't know. Why did you change your mind?"

Harry walks next to her, and she offers him a smile. 

"About what?"

"What do you mean about what? About my cologne, Auri!"

Aurora flinches.

"Sorry. Yeah, no, right. The cologne. Yeah. I just… I made you uncomfortable and I was being childish. Sorry."

"I wasn't uncomfortable, Auri, I just—"

"I know."

"Auri, no, listen—" 

"Harry." She turns around and smiles, then places one hand on his elbow. "It's fine. You don't need to explain yourself. I just… I really, really need a coffee right now. I haven't slept all night, so… Yeah. I'd just like to get a coffee. If you don't mind."

She lets go of his elbow, and Harry sighs. 

"Ok, yeah. Let's get you some coffee, then."

They walk forward, side to side, and Harry speaks again. 

"Do you still drink caramel coffee?"

Aurora widens her eyes. 

"Wow… That's back from… Well, a long time ago."

It's small, and kind of timid, but Harry smiles, and then shrugs. "Used to get you one at least once a week, didn't I?"

"You did, yeah." She smiles back at him and nods, then faces forward again. There's a coffee shop only three stores ahead, and it seems to be already open. Thank God. "To be honest I can't remember the last time I had one. I drink plain black coffee now."

Harry nods, and they both walk in silence, side by side — always side by side.

It shouldn't be uncomfortable, but Aurora's chest is heavy, and her mind seems foggy. 

Truth be told, she thought she would have more time before she started disappointing her friends, before letting them know how much she's changed and how uninteresting she's become.

Meeting Harry at the airport got in between her plans, though. And she could feel herself breaking little by little each second. Having to face the memories of someone she used to be, someone she liked to be, but also someone she isn't anymore. And someone she can't be anymore. 

Looking at her feet, she bites the inside of her lip. She was acting like a child at the duty-free, wasn't she? Jumping around, excited about his cologne… 

God. She hasn't even left the country yet, and she's already ruining things. 

She needs to control herself. 

She isn't a teenager anymore. She can't embarrass him. She doesn't want to embarrass him. 

"Do you want something to eat?" Harry asks, and she stops walking.

They're in front of the coffee shop, but Aurora wouldn't have realized if it weren't for him.

She shakes her head. "No, I'll just get myself a coffee."

"Let me get it for you."

What?

She takes a step back. "Absolutely not."

Harry's smile falters, but he doesn't give up. "C'mon… Like the old times! Yeah?"

"No, Harry. I mean, thanks, but no. I can pay for mine."

"I know you can pay for yours, I don't—"

"Please." She shakes her head and looks down to the floor. "It's just a silly coffee. I can get it for me. Okay?"

Harry frowns. 

"Ok? Yeah." 

Aurora nods, looks at the shop, then back to the floor. "Are you getting anything?"

"No, I'll just wait here."

"Okay," she whispers, forcing a smile before turning around and walking away.

It's crazy to see how much Harry has changed.

That's all Aurora can think about while she stands in line and watches him type on his phone. 

He's still outside, waiting for her, and seems deeply engaged with his conversation, frowning while his fingers move rapidly. 

No more black skinny jeans, no more vintage t-shirts or Chelsea boots. No more curls that are longer than her own hair. No more thin shoulders nor skinny arms. 

His baggy pants — wide legged, high-waisted — are beige, his cute shoes are yellow, and she still can't get over the flamingo shirt he's wearing.

He looks older, too. Brooding features, chiseled cheekbones, growing stubble. His face is perfectly carved, his traces have hardened, and there is something very manly about the way he stands there, focusing on typing on his phone. 

It isn't just his physical appearance, though. He acts like a grown-up, too. There's something about the way he simply exists that screams how much he's changed. You would never tell the man standing outside is the same boy who used to make stupid bets with his roommates from uni. But it's clear that Harry isn't a boy anymore, and that he's turned into a man.

And Aurora wasn't prepared to deal with that. 

Aurora lowers her chin and rubs her eyes.

She is being ridiculous. 

Why would she need to be prepared for that? 

Of course Harry grew up! How old is he now, anyway? 29? 30? Of course he isn't the same anymore. 

She should focus on how nice it is to see him again, not about stupid things. 

Who would've thought she would actually meet him at the airport? Who would've thought they'd end up sharing the flight? Standing in line with him, hopefully getting some seats next to each other… She should appreciate having a friend by her side. That's all. 

Aurora can't remember why he stopped hanging out with the group, though, and now she can't stop thinking about it. She has absolutely no idea about anything that could be going on with his life. It was as if Harry had grown more and more distant with time, until he wasn't there at all.

She's still pretty sure the last time she saw him was at her and Zack's wedding. She remembers someone telling her he'd moved to the United States, but why wasn't she at his graduation? It didn't make sense. Especially considering how, around a year later, he was kind enough to send them a basket when Noah was born.

They weren't the closest friends, and they were in very different stages of their lives when they met, sure, but they were part of the same group, and she used to have a soft spot for him. Just like she used to have a soft spot for Niall. 

Usually, when they were all at the pub, everyone would leave and the three of them would stay behind, chatting and laughing until Aurora felt her lids closing by themselves and they would walk her home. They both used to make her laugh all the time, and she actually loved spending those moments with them. 

Until she met Zack, of course, and then she started spending her nights with him. 

Maybe that was it. Maybe it wasn't about him. Maybe she had grown more and more distant, until she wasn't around anymore. At all.

She knows it's something she's done with everyone else, at least. The girls would knock on her door from time to time, though, and she couldn't run from everyone whilst living in the same city, but Harry flying overseas was a different situation. So it makes sense they didn't keep up with their friendship. 

It makes sense, but it still bothers her. 

It bothers her because she forgot how easy, and fun, and electrifying it was to be around him. She forgot how affectionate, attentive, kind, and friendly he was. She forgot how spontaneous and cheerful she used to be with him. She forgot how much she enjoyed his carefree and easygoing way of looking at life. She forgot… 

Well, to be honest, it's like she just forgot about him. 

And how could she forget about him?

Harry used to be such a great friend. 

Just like Niall. 

But somehow different. 

Because there's something about the way Harry looks at her that she never found in Niall's eyes. It has something to do with Harry's curiosity, probably. How much he cares about details. How he likes to know more about people, about things, about everything. 

"Next?" the lady behind the counter shouts.

Aurora shakes her head, and darts her eyes away from Harry. 

She has no idea how much time she just spent staring at him. She didn't even notice she was doing it, to be honest. And she can only hope he didn't notice, as well.

The woman behind her taps her shoulder.

"That's you, miss," she says. 

Aurora widens her eyes and steps forward.  "Oh, yes, sorry… Hi!" 

Their flight is delayed. 

Aurora laughs, and rubs her fingers on her forehead. 

"And I was worried I'd be late," she murmurs.

They've been hanging out by their gate for at least half an hour now. Harry sits next to her, their bags placed together on his opposite side. He's leaning back comfortably, arms crossed on top of his abdomen and legs spread open in front of him. 

He nudges her arm with his elbow, then asks, "What was that?"

She shakes her head and waves him off with one hand, then double taps her phone with the other, lighting up the screen. 

It's 6:30. 

Noah should be waking up by now. Or at least Zack should be trying to wake him up. 

She unlocks her phone and opens up the app to text him. She takes a deep breath in, and her fingers hover the screen. She needs to be careful with her words, because she doesn't want him to think she doesn't trust him with Noah. That would be unfair with him. And it's not even about that. Of course it's not! She knows Noah's safe with his dad. She swears she never questioned him as a father. Whatever happened between them as a couple would never change the fact that Zack loves Noah to death. 

Aurora knows that. Really! The only reason why she wants to know how they're doing is because Noah has never woken up at his dad's new place, and because she knows what a long and emotional process it can be to wake him up. That's all. 

She bites her bottom lip, and types the same questions again and again, until she's happy with the way she's phrased them.

Hii! 

How are you guys doing?

How was Noah's first night over there? Did you guys have fun?

She sends the messages, and reads them over. And over, and over. 

That was good, wasn't it? She sounded friendly, right? She wasn't attacking him, right? He wouldn't be mad at her, right?

"I'll be right back," Harry says, getting up from his seat. He moves past her quickly, looking at his own hand and sliding his finger through the screen of his phone before taking it to his ear. "Hey… Yeah, I know… No, you listen to me…"

Harry doesn't sound happy — at all — and Aurora frowns. She watches him walk away, blending between people, then glances back to her phone.

No signs of Zack yet. Which is fine. Of course. It's not even been a minute. Actually, Aurora is usually so absorbed by Noah in the mornings that she doesn't check her phone until she drops him off at preschool. So it's fine. Really.

Hopefully he'll be able to make him have breakfast by 7:15, though. Otherwise they won't get there on time. Should she remind him of that? No, that's stupid. Zack is not stupid, and she always drives him insane for reminding him of the obvious little details. 

Maybe he won't even take him to preschool. Maybe he'll drive him over to his parents, instead. 

Or maybe she should just trust him. Maybe this would be the time he'd follow through with a promise he'd made.

Another yawn sneaks up on her. She slides down on her seat and rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands. 

Maybe she should accept Harry's offer and take a quick nap on his shoulder. She brushed the idea off minutes ago, but now she can't deny it sounds really tempting. 

God… How is she supposed to spend two days on a yacht? She's never been on one before. She also hasn't been around all her friends in a very long time… 

Is she going to be able to interact with them? Because if they're expecting her to act the same way she used to before getting married… Well, they'll be extremely disappointed.

The only thing about Aurora that'll resemble those old days are the clothes Maddie packed for her. 

Shit. Oh shit. Oh… Fuck! Her clothes. No, no, no. Shit! She is going to kill Madison. 

She can't wear all those clothes in front of Harry! There is no fucking way she'll walk in front of him in a bikini, or wearing those silk and backless dresses. There is absolutely no fucking way she's going to wear those tops that almost don't cover her breasts in front of him. 

Well, not just in front of him, of course…

She's thinking about Harry because he's the one with her right now, but she doesn't want to wear those clothes in front of anyone. Not just him. 

It isn't even about the people, really. It's about her body. A body that has changed a lot through the years. 

Oh, boy… She needs to sleep. She can't start spiraling about how unsexy she's been feeling for years. It's not the moment for that. It's not what the weekend is about. 

"Are you sleeping with your eyes open?" Harry's low and deep voice sounds right next to her ear, and Aurora jumps on her seat. 

Harry chuckles behind her, then makes his way around her seat. 

"Shit," she murmurs, taking her hand to her chest, but a shaky laugh still leaves her mouth. "You scared me."

He stops in front of her and furrows his brows, then tilts his head to the side and curves his mouth into a cheeky smile, narrowing his eyes to look at her. 

"What?" she asks. 

He doesn't move, though. 

And he also doesn't stop staring at her. 

Aurora shifts on her seat. 

But the staring still doesn't stop.

"Harry!" She chuckles, and looks away. 

And he still doesn't even flinch.

Oh, c'mon! That's ridiculous. 

It's like going back to university, honestly. He used to do the same when they were younger, usually at a pub or a club. He would stare at her like that until she stumbled over her own words, or until she forgot what she was about to do. He thought it was hilarious, but she never understood the point of it. 

"Knock it off, will ya?" She crosses her arms on top of her chest and rolls her eyes. "I was just thinking."

Harry (finally) laughs, face lighting up again — with dimples and wrinkles and almost fully-closed eyes.

He moves his arm, and puts a paper cup in front of her face. 

Aurora snaps her brows together.

"Sorry, love, I was just testing my skills," he says.

Aurora flinches her head back.

Why is he shoving that cup in her eyes? 

And also… "What skills?"

He shrugs. "Y'know, to rile you up just by looking at you." 

Harry presses his lips together, as if he can't wait to burst out laughing.

And Aurora knows that face, because Noah does the exact same thing. The cheeky little monster loves to surprise her, but he can never hold up a lie. He gives out the entire thing just by looking at her with the same excitement on his face. 

They honestly look the same. Except Noah is only four, and Harry a thirty-year-old man.

"Ha ha," she mocks him, looking away from his silly face. "You and my four-year-old son would be great friends."

"Aww!" Harry takes his seat next to her, chuckling and throwing an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer to his side. "I'm sure we would." 

She rolls her eyes. 

Harry squeezes her cheek against his chest, and she's so close to his body that she can smell the soap and cologne emanating from his skin. He smells good. Like a fresh shower. It's a nice combination, something both strong and smooth at the same time.

Shit.

She pulls away, and shakes her head. 

"It wasn't a compliment," she murmurs. 

Harry chuckles.

"Yeah, I'm aware of that." He withdraws his arm from around her shoulders and takes it back to his side, then puts his hand back in front of her face. The one holding a paper cup. "Now, this is for you."

Aurora raises her eyebrows. 

"And what's this supposed to be, exactly?" 

"Just try it." 

She doesn't make any movement to acknowledge his request, but Harry also doesn't make any movement to hint he'll stop shoving the cup on her face. Eventually, she sighs, and her entire body falls. 

"Harry…" 

"Oh, c'mon! Just a sip. Amuse me, yeah?"

Aurora glances at his hand, then back at his face. She presses lips together, then finally uncrosses her arms and lifts one of them to reach the cup, curling her fingers around it. 

For the sake of not ruining her mood, she ignores the way he cheers, or how he grins proudly before leaning his back against the backrest of his seat. She simply clutches the cup between both hands, instead, and its warmth is a high contrast with her cold skin. She can't help but hum at the feeling, and then she shivers, even her chin trembling a little. 

A timid chuckle escapes from her mouth, and she closes her eyes. She brings the cup up to her face and puts her nose close to the lid, breathing the flavor in. 

And just like that, her chest tightens. 

The smell is unmistakable, a combination between coffee and caramel that she would recognize anywhere, anytime. 

She blinks her eyes open, and turns her head to look at him. 

Harry is watching her attentively, without any traces of amusement or playfulness surrounding him anymore.

Aurora blinks a couple of times, gathering enough strength to ask him, "Did you… Did you get me a caramel coffee?" 

He nods once, only one side of his mouth lifting up. "Yeah."

She looks back at the cup in her hands, and blinks again. 

"Why?"

"I don't know," he says, softly. "Intuition, maybe. I know you already had your black coffee, but I… I don't know. I felt like you needed it? I don't know. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it sounds stupid. Is that okay? Hope I didn't—"

She nods rapidly — unable to speak, but also desperate for him to stop explaining himself. 

And thankfully, he does. 

Aurora doesn't know what to say about it, though. She doesn't even know if there's anything she can say about it. 

His words don't sound stupid to her. That's for sure. The thing is that Harry doesn't understand the meaning his gesture actually holds, which scares her. He was able to pick up on something she needed when she wasn't brave enough to admit it to herself in the first place. And it was something so trivial… It was just coffee. Coffee.

"Noah does that sometimes, y'know," Aurora murmurs, looking at the mass of people in front of them. She hunches down a bit, not bothering by her awful posture as she comforts herself with the hot beverage in between her hands. Changing the subject is the only way she knows how to answer him right now, so she keeps going. "Sleeping with his eyes half open. It freaks me out."

Harry hums.

"There's a name for that, isn't it?" 

His voice is as soft and calm as before, and Aurora nods.

"Yeah, nocturnal something… I don't know. I always forget the stupid word." She rolls her eyes, and a humorless laugh leaves her mouth, making her body shake. "How do people even choose these names, huh? Why bother naming it if it's gonna be some ridiculous word no-one can even pronounce?"

"That's… Yeah, I don't know. You have a point, though."

"Sorry," she whispers, looking down at her lap. "Zack drives me insane using all those terms all the time. Makes me feel stupid."

Harry doesn't say anything, but for once the silence between them doesn't feel uncomfortable. 

She exhales the frustration out of her body, taking the cup to her mouth and sipping carefully in case it burns her tongue. 

The coffee touches her lips, and its sweetness automatically invades all of her senses. Her tongue tastes the caramel, and there's something bitter behind it, but it is mostly mellow and buttery. Just like she remembers it. 

And just like that, she's remembering all of it. 

She's flooded with memories from the comfort of home, and about the fun of living. Memories with simpleminded thoughts and unpretentious actions. 

She's back to a place where she isn't scared of speaking her mind all the time, where she isn't afraid of letting people down by her silly behavior, where she isn't terrified of her personality being the embarrassment of those around her. She's back to a place where she knows her friends and family like her for who she is, and where she's proud of her because of that. 

She's full of affectionate touches, sincere words, and genuine feelings.

There's confidence inside her, and an entire world she's willing to find out. 

And when she finally gulps down the simplest sip of caramel coffee, warmth takes over her throat. It reverberates through every inch of her body, and she shivers — her body filling with goosebumps as she closes her eyes to the paradoxical feeling. 

A moment passes, and the weight of a soft textured fabric lands on her back.

"Before you say anything," Harry's deep voice murmurs next to her, and she opens her eyes to look at him. "I'm not wearing it. And it's driving me insane seeing you so cold, so please just wear it."

Aurora glances at her shoulders, finding Harry's checked jacket covering her skin. It feels good, and it feels warm. And she actually doesn't mind it. At all. But there's something about the way Harry has just talked to her that flies directly into Aurora's heart. 

Maybe it's the softness of his voice. Or maybe how worried he sounded. Or maybe the fact that he seems to pay attention to her. Or maybe just because he acts as if he knows her so well. Even after so many years without talking to her. Or seeing her.

Or maybe it's just because she's already on edge because of the damn caramel coffee he bought especially for her.

She doesn't know exactly what it is, but something in his words triggers her into instantly tearing up. She can't help the overreaction, and before she can figure out a way to hide it, the evidence of her crying falls down her cheek, and she's taking a hand up to wipe it off her.

"Auri, hey…" 

Harry's hand lands on her back. The last push she needs to turn into an emotional wreck. A sob bursts out of her chest, and she covers her mouth. Oh my God. 

"Auri, love, I'm sorry… Did I… I can get the jacket back, I didn't—"

She shakes her head and puts the coffee between her thighs, then takes both hands up to her face. She uses her palms to wipe down the tears from her cheeks, and a long and shaky sigh leaves her mouth. 

Harry takes the cup from between her legs, putting it down on the floor before shifting closer to her. His knees bump into the side of her thigh, and the hand that isn't on her back brushes softly her jaw, getting rid of another tear.

"I'm… I'm sorry," she whispers. "You're fine. You didn't… You didn't do anything wrong."

The last thing she wants is for him to see her like that. They haven't seen each other for so long… She doesn't want to welcome him back to her life with tears and drama. She also doesn't want him to feel guilty about something that has nothing to do with him. 

"Ok…" He sounds wary, and while one hand rubs circles on her back, the other grabs her hand. "What's going on, tho? What can I do to help?" 

Once again, Aurora shakes her head. "I'm… I'm fine. I think I'm just… I'm  just exhausted from not sleeping last night."

It isn't a lie, but it also isn't the truth. She doesn't want to admit how lonely she constantly feels, because she wants to learn how to be alone. It doesn't make sense to ask for help when all she wants is to learn how to not need help.

"Why didn't you sleep?" 

"It's nothing. Really… Don't worry about me, I'm just being dramatic right now."

He strokes his thumb up and down on the back of her hand, and Aurora sighs, leaning into the warmth of his jacket. 

Warmth. Apparently that's all she craves now. 

"Of course I worry about you, Auri. And I'm here if you need anything, ok?" 

She nods, but his care for her brings another wave of tears, and she hides behind one hand while the other holds tightly onto him. 

"C'mere," he murmurs, dragging the hand on her back to her shoulder and pulling her to his chest. 

She can't believe the amount of times she's been hugged by him in merely a couple of hours, but she doesn't fight him. In fact, she does quite the opposite: she snuggles into him and cries quietly. And when Harry squeezes her shoulders, she squeezes his fingers in response. 

"Talk to me, love, please. What's going on?"

She sniffs. "Nothing…"

He rubs her arm, softly and tenderly, then carefully adds, "I don't wanna force you, but I can tell something's up and I'm worried about you."

Aurora shakes her head, feeling the desperation in her body slip out of her mouth as she cries to him. "Please don't... I don't want… I don't wanna worry you, ok? I really don't. I don't want to bother you. I'm just… Overreacting. I'll be fine. I'll be—"

"Auri, that's not—"

"Yes. Yes it is. It's just—"

"Stop doing that," he says, squeezing her shoulder. "You keep shutting me off every time I try to explain myself."

"Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear. I'm sorry—"

"Auri—

"—I'm so sorry—"

"—It's okay—"

"—I really am—"

"Auri, hey!" He pulls back, grabbing her shoulders with both hands and forcing her to look at him. His eyes are warm and caring as he stares inside hers, but there's a frown all over his face that screams something different. Annoyance, perhaps? Or maybe… Frustration? "Listen to me. It's fine, ok? There's no need for you to apologize. It's fine."

She squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head. "No…"

"Yes, it's fine, Auri."

"It's not—"

"Yes—" 

"No!" Aurora opens her eyes, but tears quickly blurry her sight. She blinks, and before she knows it, she's fully sobbing and crying again. "It's not fine! Ok?! I'm not… I'm not fine, Harry. I'm not! I'm falling apart and I just… It's like I can't stop… And I just… I hate it, ok? I really do… I keep letting everyone down. And I… Fuck… I have no idea how… How am I supposed to spend the entire weekend…. The entire weekend pretending my life isn't a mess right now? I just… I can't… I can't pretend… I'm not… I can't…"

There's only a beat of silence before Harry pulls her into his chest again, squeezing her shoulders while he takes a long, deep, and heavy breath in. Then exhales loudly through his nose. 

"I don't know what's going on with your life right now," he says softly, resting his chin on the top of her head and closing his eyes while she sobs into his chest. "And I know I haven't been around, but I'm here for you, ok?" 

And just like before, Aurora melts into him. She hugs his waist, and leans against his body despite the uncomfortable and public position they're in. Crying all the tears she's been holding in so far. Silently sharing with him all the hurt, the doubts, and the insecurities she's been feeling. All the blaming, the questioning, and the yelling she's been hiding. Letting him absorb the wreck she is turned into after six years of marriage. All the failures. All the mistakes. All the countless "should've done better", and also "should've tried harder".  She lets it all out. With no hold backs, nor regrets.

"And you don't have to pretend, Auri," he adds. "At least not to me. Not even a little bit. Never… Why would you even pretend, huh? I can't be there for you if you don't let me know your life's a mess, and I want to be there for you. You know I do, yeah?"

Aurora can't answer him, not when her body's turning everything inside her into tears and sobbing, but he doesn't seem to be waiting for any words. Nor reactions. He rubs her back gently, while still holding her tightly, and then just keeps talking. 

"Besides, I don't expect anything from you, so—I mean, wait… That's not—Shit. That didn't sound good."

And despite everything, despite all the pain and all the tears and all the fears, a soft and low chuckle escapes from Aurora's chest. 

"That came out wrong… It's not—It's not what I wanted to say. Because of course I expect things from you, like… You're brilliant. You're amazing. You can do amazing things if you want to, ok? I know you can. What I meant is that—That there's no pressure, y'know? That's all. And that no matter what you do or what you say, nothing will change... I mean, I haven't been around, but you don't have to pretend things are good if they aren't, y'know? I'll be your friend even if… I don't know… Even if everything's falling apart… Actually, I want to be there especially when everything's falling apart, ok? So yeah, I just—Jesus Christ." He sighs. "Fuck. Auri please tell me you know what I'm trying to say here because I'm just freaking myself out right now."

Aurora's chuckle turns into laughter, and she nods against his chest, taking one hand up to her face to wipe off the last few tears. 

"I do, yes." She clears her throat, trying to get rid of some of the scratchiness. "Relax. I got it from the beginning." 

Harry smiles and sighs again, squeezing her shoulders. "Could've said something, huh? Stop me there. Save me the embarrassment, maybe?"

"You said I kept cutting you off when you tried to explain yourself, so…" Aurora shrugs. 

"Ohh, I see. Okay." Harry laughs. "We should work on your timing, then. Smartass."

She smiles, and sniffs. "My timing's perfect. It was cute, and I was having fun."

"Of course you were."

Although she can't see him, the smile is obvious in his voice, and she sighs. A long and heavy sigh. One that's strong enough to relax her entire body, and that makes her close her eyes and drop her shoulders. 

"Thank you," she murmurs, still into his chest.

"Yeah," he murmurs back. "Anytime, love." 

There's a pause between them. And then Harry speaks again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, to be honest… At least not right now."

"Ok…" 

Another pause, and then… 

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

She takes a deep, long breath in, then exhales while snuggling into his chest.

"Can we just… Stay like this for another minute? Just… Y'know… In silence?"

"Hm… So you want me to shut up, is that it?"

Aurora chuckles. 

"Well, I wouldn't put it like that, but…"

Harry chuckles, too. 

"'S fine. I don't mind. We can stay like this for as long as you want."

And so they do. 

They hug for a while. In silence. A tight embrace that's simple, but that's also intense enough to let her know that he's there for her. 

Aurora can't remember the last time she's been held like this, with honest tenderness and affection. The kind of hug that she doesn't question, and that comes naturally. That feels natural. 

"This was supposed to be a fun weekend," she murmurs, curling a little bit more into him and closing her eyes to avoid facing the world. "Can't believe I'm seeing you for the first time in years and already bringing all this drama to you."

Harry chuckles lightly. 

"Don't be silly, ok? We've been over this already… We're friends and this is what friends are for." He kisses the top of her head, and then rests his cheek against the same place. "Besides, we didn't leave London yet. We can still have plenty of fun."

Aurora sighs. "God. I really need to have some fun. I miss having fun."

"I'll make sure you get more than some."

He squeezes her shoulder, and Aurora smiles.

Still with her eyes closed, and pressing her ear against his chest, she listens to his heartbeat, and to the way he breathes. He isn't calm, but he is steady, and somehow comfortable. So she focuses on him, and only him. As if mimicking his rhythm, or syncing with his pace, could make everything in her life feel better. 

Harry sighs against her, and when the thumping inside him gets faster, she pulls one arm from around his waist to rest her hand on the left side of his chest. She spreads her fingers open where his heart is, and breathes in and out slowly, hoping to calm him down again. 

He takes one hand to her neck, sliding it to the back of her head and tangling his fingers with her hair. 

As he scratches her scalp, Aurora can feel every muscle of her body fully relaxing. It's soothing. And it's safe. There's no other place she would rather be right now, and she's convinced that, as long as she's holding him and he's holding her, she'll finally relax and rest like she hasn't been able to in so long. 

"Have you always been such a great hugger?" she asks, her voice as soft and as slow as her body feels.

Harry clears his throat, then murmurs, "I don't know." 

Aurora hums. 

Another moment passes, until she breaks the silence again.

"I'm sorry for being a shitty friend."

"You're not a shitty friend."

"But I am, tho. I have no idea what's going on with your life… It's been so long and I… I never reached out."

Harry sighs, and shifts on his seat. 

Aurora follows his movements, making sure the hug doesn't end even when he seems to be pulling away. 

He doesn't, though — pull away. He simply leans back on his seat, pulling her along with him. And because she's still comfortable against his chest, she doesn't see the way his face falls, how he presses his lips together in a hard line, or glares at random people passing by.

"It's fine," he eventually says. 

And she's so focused on her own past behavior, that she also doesn't notice the slight change in his voice.

"It's not, though."

"I never reached out either, did I? And I should have… I just… I should have." 

She fidgets with the fabric of his shirt, and although it takes her a moment to answer, the words fly easily out of her mouth. "I'm not sure if it would've made any difference, to be honest… I've pushed everyone away, would've done the same to you." 

"There's no fucking way I would've let you."

"It wouldn't be up to you, tho."

A ding-ding-dong blares from the speakers in the lounge area. 

"Attention passengers on Ryanair flight 1832 to Naples, we are now ready for boarding at gate 56. Passengers on Ryanair flight 1832 to Naples, we are now ready for boarding at gate 56. Boarding is for business class and passengers with…"

The attendant's voice fades as Aurora stops paying attention to it. She blinks her eyes open and, against her wishes, pulls away from Harry's arms.

"Finally," she breathes out.

When she looks at him, she finds nothing but honesty and affection inside his eyes, and it's enough to make her heart skip a beat. 

She curves her lips into a smile, then brings her hands up to wipe the dry tears from her cheeks. "Thank you."

Harry smiles, too. "You've said that already."

"I know." She nods, dropping her hands back to her lap. "I just… Thank you, really. For now and… And for the coffee. Even though I forgot to drink it."

He takes one hand to her face, and puts some of her hair behind her ear.

"We'll have time for another one," he says, then stares into her eyes again. "Yeah?"

"Yeah…" She gulps down, captivated by his gaze. "I think… I think it'd be nice if we could catch up, right? I mean, there's so much about you that I don't know…" 

Harry smiles, although it doesn't reach his eyes. 

"There isn't anything crazy to know about me."

Aurora furrows her brows. 

"Well I don't need crazy information, Harry," she scoffs, making sure the tone of her voice is carrying some playfulness while she rolls her eyes. "I just wanna know what's up with your life… Where do you live? Do you have any dogs, or cats? Where do you work? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have any kids? Are you married? I don't know…"

Harry stares blankly at her for a moment, then looks away, reaching for their bags. 

"Those are too many questions, love."

Aurora shrugs. 

"Well, yeah…" She leans down and picks up her coffee. The cup feels cold, and although she's sad she didn't get to drink it, she wouldn't change anything about what happened in the last… Well, however long it's been since they got here. "I know. I'm curious. That's why I said it'd be nice to catch up."

She stands up and rearranges Harry's jacket, putting it on properly so it doesn't fall from her shoulders, then waits while he stands as well, picking their bags from the seat next to his.

"Ok, yeah. Sure. We can catch up." 

"Wow." She snorts and widens her eyes. "Calm down, now. Don't sound sooo excited, please."

Harry laughs. He puts his own bag on his shoulder, and she takes hers from his hand. 

"I'd love for us to catch up, Auri. I really would."

"Okay…" She narrows her eyes at him, putting her bag on her shoulder and walking towards the line. "Are you hiding something from me?"

Harry follows her, grabbing his boarding pass and passport from the front pocket of his bag. "Why would I hide something from you?"

"I don't know…" She throws the coffee cup away, then adds, "Maybe you're working with the FBI. Or, maybe you're married to someone who works for the FBI. Ohhhhh," — she widens her eyes, looking at him while he leads their way to the gate — "or maybe, you're married to someone who's being investigated by the FBI!"

Harry chuckles through his nose. He sneaks his hands inside Aurora's bag, pulling her boarding pass and passport from it.

"There's no FBI involved, I promise," he says, handing her the items. 

"Hmmm…" She grabs her things from his hand, and nibbles her bottom lip before asking, "But you're married to someone?" 

"Nop." 

"Okay… Dating to someone?"

He shakes his head, and Aurora nods.

"Are relationships a touchy subject, maybe?"

Harry smirks, and that's more than enough to give Aurora an answer, but she still waits for him to say something. 

Anything.

"I broke up with someone not too long ago." He shrugs. "So I'm not in the mood for relationships right now, to be honest. And that includes talking about it." 

The line moves quickly, and they take a step forward. 

"Oh, sure. Yeah. I get it. Of course." Aurora nods. "I'm sorry, tho. Y'know, that it didn't work out."

He shrugs, and they walk again.

"'S fine." 

The shift in his behavior is loud and clear, and it bothers her. The idea of someone breaking Harry's heart deep enough for the pain to overshadow his excitement and dull the brightness of his smile doesn't feel right. So it bothers her. It really does. Whoever it was, he surely deserved someone much better. He surely deserves someone better.

A flight attendant welcomes them with a grin and a cheerful good morning. Aurora smiles back, and hands him her passport and boarding pass, then waits for him to return them. He wishes her a safe flight, and repeats the same process with Harry. 

Aurora waits for him in silence, and once they're both ready to walk through the airgate, she picks the conversation back on. 

"I'm sure you'll find someone, y'know? It won't be that hard. You're still young, and dating was never a problem for you, so…"

There's a pause, and then Harry snorts. "Dating was never a problem for me? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Y'know… That's what you, Niall and Jayden used to do all the time, wasn't it? Dating and… Flirting and hooking up with everyone?"

Harry stops walking and turns to stare at her in silence, with widened eyes and flared nostrils. 

Aurora stops, too, biting her lip to hold back her amusement while waiting for him to say something. 

He doesn't, but he eventually laughs, throwing his head back and making her fully smile at him. He shakes his head, and starts walking again.

"Jeez, Auri, I'm so offended right now."

"Oh c'mon…" She chuckles, following his steps. "I meant it as a compliment, okay? Like… Girls were always into you, that's all."

"Not all girls, though."

"Fine." She shrugs. "Ninety-five percent of them, then."

He snorts again. "Ok."

"How old were you when we met? Twenty? Twenty-one?"

"Nineteen."

"Oh shit, really?"

"Yeah, it was my second year. Why?"

"Nothing. I think… For a moment I just forgot you're so much younger than me, that's all."

"C'mon, not so much, I'm almost thirty now."

"Well, yes, but I'm thirty-five."

"See? Same age."

She chuckles. "We're not the same age."

"Ok, but almost."

"Not even close, Harry."

"Oh c'mon! Then what are you now? Ancient? Should I call you grandma?"

She chuckles. "Well… I do feel ancient, to be honest."

He rolls his eyes. "This is ridiculous. You're just as young as I am."

She shakes her head. 

"Yeah, I mean, I know that… But I don't know… I mean, talking to you right now I don't feel like you're younger, y'know? Let alone that much. But also—"

"It's not that much."

"No, I know. But if you think about it, I already got married and I have a four-year-old at home, so like, I really am too old and—What?" Harry is frowning at her, and she tilts her head. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He shrugs, then faces forward, away from her. "I'm trying to decide if I should kick your ass right now or just throw you into the ocean later."

She gasps, but then she chuckles. "What? Whyyy?"

Harry raises his eyebrows at her. "I'm only five years younger than you, Auri. Five. It's not even a big deal."

She sighs.

The line in front of them moves, and they move forward as well. 

"Sorry. You're right. Like I said, it doesn't feel like it right now, but I think… I don't know. When you were 19 and I was 24 it was different, yeah? I mean, we were in different stages of our lives. I was meeting Zack and you were—" 

"Yes, I know. I was there, remember?" 

She swallows down, and nods. 

"Sorry," she repeats, much softer this time. 

Aurora walks in silence, staring at the plane at the end of the hallway. 

She pretends to ignore the way Harry keeps glancing at her, or how he rubs the back of his neck, or how he rolls his shoulders. She knows she bothered him, and the idea of causing a scene when they're about to get into a plane feels terrifying. She should've kept her mouth shut, that way she wouldn't have them put them in that situation. Again.

It's like she's been riding on a rollercoaster she never knew she would get into in the first place. Going through multiple sudden changes of speed and directions. Slowly climbing a steep slope and painfully anticipating the fall before she actually drops directly into the ground. Holding herself during the unexpected tight turns and sharp curves, and gasping for air at every inverted loop. Experiencing the ups and downs of gravity as she's weightless and happy at the top of the hill, then all of a sudden her own personality is pushing her back down to reality. And by the end of it, the back of her throat hurts, her stomach feels funny, and there's just heaviness all over her body. 

"Hey," Harry calls. 

He shifts his bag from one shoulder to the other and puts his arm around her, pulling her closer even though they're still walking. He kisses the top of her head, and keeps his lips there as he speaks. "'M sorry. Shouldn't have cut you off like that."

Aurora shrugs. "It's fine." 

"It's not. We were just joking and I… I took it personally, 'm sorry."

He kisses her head, again, and her lashes flutter. 

She knows he's sorry, but she doesn't know what to say to him. She knows how easy it is for her to forgive when she shouldn't, and how many times in the last six years she believed in empty apologies. 

So although she knows, she isn't sure she can trust herself. 

She hasn't been trusting herself for a while now. 

A new flight attendant welcomes them into the plane, and they both pull away from each other.

Aurora walks in front of Harry, and she does her best to smile genuinely at the cheerful woman that's wishing them a good morning and a good flight. 

She holds the strap of her bag tightly on her shoulder, and walks through the narrow carpeted aisle, focusing on the numbers and letters above the seats as if she's looking for specific ones. She pauses here and there for other passengers that are getting settled, and it's only past the emergency door that Harry speaks again.

"Should we sit here?" he asks. He's pointing to the opposite side where she's facing, so she turns around, finding three empty seats.  

"Okay." 

She nods, and tilts her chin up to check the space to put her bag. Harry is quicker, though, because he is already closing his fingers around the strap on her shoulder and pushing it away from her arm.

"I'll put our bags together, yeah?" 

She doesn't want to fight him about it, so she simply thanks him with the best smile she can offer and allows him to easily grab her duffel bag. 

She slides through the two empty seats to reach the one by the window, not waiting any longer to secure the seat belt and make herself comfortable. Once she's settled, she clasps her hands together, and takes a deep breath in. Her chin trembles, and she looks down, biting the inside of her cheek. She doesn't want to cry again. She really doesn't want to cry again.

Also, she needs to sleep. She must get some sleep. There is absolutely no way she is going to handle spending the entire day awake, and if she doesn't sleep now, she'll only get an opportunity again at the yacht — meaning she won't get to spend any time with her friends. 

Harry sits next to her and puts his own belt on, then turns off his phone and shoves it into his pocket. Aurora doesn't look at him, but he turns sideways anyway, leaning his shoulder on the back of the seat and blocking them from any possible curious eyes. 

He grabs one of her hands from her lap and takes her fingers to his mouth, placing a long kiss to her knuckles before sighing. 

"Auri, love," his voice is soft, and a whisper for only them to hear, "I really am sorry." 

She nods, taking her free hand to wipe a tear before it could roll down her cheek.  

Shit.

"Please, don't cry."

"Mhm."

"Auri… Look at me, please."

She shakes her head, then. Because she knows that she'll fall apart all over again if she looks at him.

God, she's so tired.

"I didn't…" she murmurs, then takes a deep breath and tries again. "I didn't mean anything bad by the age thing… I promise."

"I know that, love. Of course I know," he says, pressing another kiss to her hand. "Fuck. I know. We were just joking. And I'm not mad about it, I promise. I mean, I was actually a stupid hormonal teenager back when we met, so yeah… You're right, things were different. But please, Auri, I hate that I made you cry just because I… Shit, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It wasn't about you, I promise."

She stares at her knees and nods, because she knows he is. And she also knows she can trust him, which is probably why she — finally — honestly blurts out, "I keep messing everything up, y'know? All the time."

He brushes his thumb on the back of her hand, then murmurs back to her, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I just… I keep letting everyone down, and I hate it, but it's like I can't stop it. And I mean, to be honest I don't… I don't even recognize myself anymore. I used to have so much fun, and I felt so different about life… And I treated people around me so differently… And now I'm just… I don't know… I don't know why I say things, or why I do things. I don't know what I want, or what to do with my life… And I feel so… Lonely… All the damn time. But I get why I'm lonely, y'know? I mean it's true that I don't know how to be anything else besides being Noah's mum. And I'm so insensitive to other people because of that, and I keep saying things I shouldn't and I just… I look back and I realize how I pushed everyone away… How I… I don't know, I'm so tired of this. I'm just so tired of myself."

There is a pause between them, mostly because Harry's waiting for the people in front of them to settle and stop prying at their conversation. 

It's good, though, because it gives her time to catch her breath again.

And then, Harry leans deeper into his seat, still holding tightly to her hand.

"Is that how he made you feel?"

Aurora furrows her brows. "What—Who?"

"Zack. Is that how Zack made you feel?"

"I… No! Why—I mean, I'm just… I'm talking about myself." 

"Auri, c'mon… I know you're talking about yourself, but I can read between the lines."

She closes her eyes and takes her hand up to her face, rubbing her forehead while she prepares herself to just keep blurting out what her mind is begging her to tell him.

"I think…" she says, dropping her hand back to her lap and blinking. "I think he really messed me up, y'know?"

Harry sighs. 

It takes him a moment to say something. A moment that feels really, really long to her. 

And then… 

"Fuck." He puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his chest, murmuring while resting his cheek on the back of her head, "I'm sorry."

She shrugs, snuggling into him and searching for his heartbeat, just like before.

"'S not your fault."

"But I should've been there for you."

"You wouldn't have known." 

"Still… This isn't how it was supposed to be." 

God, she's so tired… 

Her entire body is heavy, and she doesn't even know what's happening around them anymore. She can't even make sense of their conversation anymore. 

Harry feels too cozy, though, and she knows she's about to have the comfiest sleep of her life — she can feel it.  

"Harry?"

"Hm?"

"I got divorced six months ago."

Harry closes his eyes, then rearranges himself on his seat and pulls her closer to him.

"I know."

.

.

.

"You know? How?" 

"Niall."

"Oh. Okay?" 

"I texted him while you were getting your coffee."

She places her hands on his hips, holding her weight to pull away from him. 

Harry doesn't let her, though, squeezing her inside of his arms and locking her in. 

"Please stay," he murmurs. 

And Aurora doesn't fight him. She just relaxes again — she relaxes and listens to him. 

"You weren't wearing a ring… And I could tell something was up, so I… I asked him. That's all. Sorry if I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. I needed to know."

"Oh…" The concept of time is foggy inside her mind, but she's pretty sure a few seconds go by before she speaks again. "'S okay, I guess. I mean… Niall knows about the divorce, but he doesn't… He doesn't know the whole story. He doesn't know how bad it was."

"Does anyone know?"

"You?" She chuckles, but it's humorless, because she knows that not even Harry truly knows. "I just… I haven't been able to talk about it yet, or like… Process it, I think. I don't know. I keep justifying him a lot, which I'm learning it's something I shouldn't do."

He makes his cheek comfortable on top of her head, then takes one hand to play with her hair, scratching her scalp. "It can't be easy to go through something like this on your own, tho."

"I know…" She closes her eyes, appreciating his affectionate touch. "My mum's helping me a lot… She had to go back home now, but she spent over a month with me. Makes sure I don't skip therapy… Stuff like that."

"Hmm…" Harry says, and his voice echoes inside her body. "Always liked her. Smart one."

Aurora curls her mouth up. "Yeah…" 

Another moment goes by, and Aurora is filled with lightness as her body slowly drifts into sleep. 

"Thank you for telling me this, Auri."

"Mhmm… It's weird… To like, talk about it."

"I'll always listen. Whenever you want to talk about it, I'll listen."

"Thank you… 'M really tired, tho... And I think my brain is going to explode…"

Harry chuckles. "Get some sleep, yeah? I'll wake you up when we're about to land."

"'Mkay." She hugs his waist, and nuzzles against his chest. "Can't believe this all happened and we didn't even leave the country yet."

"Tell me about it."

"Mm… 'Kay… I'll sleep now… You're comfy… And I think… I feel drunk…"

Chuckling again, Harry presses a kiss on the top of her head, then slides down a bit on his seat, and she cuddles a little bit more into him.

"Ok love," he says. "You can relax now, I got you." 

And although Aurora doesn't answer, she knows he does. 

She doesn't need Harry to wake her up. 

Her brain drifts back to consciousness by itself, slowly making her aware of her surroundings way before the plane is even close to landing. 

She's warm, because of Harry's arms wrapped around her shoulders, but also because of his jacket covering her body. Her face is pressed against his shirt, and once again she's breathing from his skin. He still smells good — like a fresh shower — but now it's also mixed with a little bit of sweat, so it's somehow even better than before. 

It's hot. He's hot. Her insides feel hot.

She's also comfortable — so, so comfortable. It feels like she just took the best nap of her entire life. Like she's enveloped by a sense of calm and peace, a feeling that she doesn't want at all to end. Snuggled into his chest while his fingers keep playing with her hair, tracing random patterns on the back of her head. The movements are sweet, sweet enough to tempt her to go back to sleep. And she almost does. 

Except she can't. Not anymore. 

Because above all that, she can tell she's also kind of desperate. Clingy. Needy. Hugging his waist as if their flight landing in Italy depended on how tight her grip is. Both of her legs over his left thigh. His strong, firm thigh. She's holding onto him like a baby koala. A troubled one. A baby koala that's craving to be held by someone. Anyone. And as if she's terrified of the idea of being left behind while her mind shuts off from the real world. 

And maybe she is. Who knows.

She always liked to cuddle, and she hasn't properly cuddled in a really long time, so it's not a surprise. Still, it very quickly becomes embarrassing, and certainly not how Harry imagined things to go when, earlier in the airport, he offered his shoulder for her to take a quick nap. 

He offered his shoulder, not his entire body, for fucks sake!

So, against all wishes, Aurora stirs and groans — mostly because her mind is battling between sleeping for just two more minutes or acknowledging the reality of the world she's in — then pulls away from him. 

"Hmm…" She takes her hands up to her face, and rubs the last traces of sleepiness away from her puffy eyes, then sits back on her seat. "What time is it?" 

Next to her, Harry moves as well, withdrawing his arms from around her shoulders and placing his hands on his lap. 

"Must be around ten thirty now… Last time I checked was ten fifteen."

He sounds calm, so calm that she can't make any emotion out of his voice, so she turns her head to look at him.

Harry looks fully awake. Well rested. Peaceful. Soft. The only sign of him turning into her personal pillow are the wrinkles all over his shirt, but everything else looks… Perfect. Like heaven. He looks like heaven.   

"Hi…" He curls one side of his mouth up, and Aurora smiles, too.

"Hi…"

Only then it occurs to her that she's been staring at him, and she looks away, taking her hands to smooth out her hair then fix her dress.

"Did you sleep well?"

She nods, and takes his jacket off, instead using it like a blanket to cover her chest.

"Um, yeah… I did. Thanks. And thanks for… You know… Letting me crush on you? I mean, it probably wasn't comfortable for you, so… Yeah, thanks."

Harry scoffs, shuffling down on his seat and spreading his legs as wide open as he can. 

"Are you kidding me?" He takes both arms up and places his hands behind his head, resting on top of the palm of his hands. "You're a great cuddler. Went straight to my top five of all time."

The playfulness is clear in his words, which is why Aurora chuckles. Still, one question is loud and clear inside her mind: who are the other four great cuddlers? And most importantly, why isn't she his favorite one? 

The thoughts bring an uncomfortable feeling to her stomach, and she shifts on her seat. 

"That's kind of you to say, but you should see me during winter in the middle of the night… I'm like a baby koala and it's not a very pretty sight." 

"Huh." He smirks, and lifts his eyebrows. "Is that an offer?"

Aurora snorts and rolls her eyes, feeling her cheeks burn before she looks away. "Shut up."

Harry laughs, and just like that, everything between them goes back to normal. 

Getting into conversation with him is easy. Neither of them have seen their friends in a while, so they distract themselves by reminiscing old stories and laughing at silly things they used to do together. They also talk about Italy, about how neither of them have been to the country before, and how it's been a dream of both of them. They bond over small details, and find connections over silly things. And it's exactly what Aurora needs, as she finds out after minutes and minutes of light conversation and genuine giggles. 

It is only when they're about to land that her face falls again. 

Fully awake, the airplane movements become way more obvious than they did when taking off. And as soon as the belt sign goes on, and the pilot announces they're about to descend to Naples, Aurora's heartbeat speeds up.

She straightens up and leans her back fully against her seat, looking through the window at the bright sky. 

"Are you ok?" Harry asks. 

"Mhm…" She nods, and doesn't take her eyes off from the view. "Just… I don't like this part very much, that's all."

"Wanna hold my hand?" 

It is a nice offer, but one she doesn't think she should accept. So she doesn't. And as the plane gets closer and closer to land, every movement becomes even more clear. When it shakes, when it turns, when it's getting ready to touch the ground. 

She holds herself until the last minute. She holds herself tightly and firmly. Until it becomes too much, and one specific up and down of the airplane has her reaching for his hand.

It's like Harry is already waiting for her, to be honest, because she finds him quickly. Her sweaty and cold palm meets his warm one, and she turns her head to look at him. 

He's already watching her, and as soon as their eyes meet, his face lights up with a smile. 

Her belly quivers, and her chest tightens. 

"It'll be over in a minute," he says, squeezing her hand.

She nods, and swallows down, because it's the only thing she can do right now. She knows what he's talking about, and she knows it's true — they'll land, and everything will pass. 

Although something tells her that, whatever she's feeling right now, will not go away. It won't be over in a minute. It won't be over even when they're out and away from the plane. 

In fact, she's starting to believe that, as soon as Harry is next to her, looking at her like that, the fluttering in her stomach will never go away. 

if you've made it here, say caramel coffee :')

also, thank you for reading.

dani :)

PART THREE

[whoishotteranimepolls]

oh lord here we fucking go. a defense of roronoa zoro, canon "stinky" swordsman:

it's about the complete, utter, fierce devotion. this man is the ride-or-die that can't die

that jaw is trained. that mouth is trained. that tongue is trained. i'm gonna spare further detail but i'm already in horny jail as i type, i know it and i'm going willingly

110cm

he bathes once a week NOW, but out of literally everything that could be worked on in a relationship, that's the deal-breaker? not the fact that someone, i dunno, abuses/shackles their child or is a murderer that works for the government, but the bath? (i'm sorry about the brothers thing, that must suck, but for real?)

as others have pointed out, tolerance for body odor varies (as does the production of b.o. in general, i knew people who could hit the gym and without any smell at all so honestly who knows where he lies on the scale)

you could actually make an argument that zoro bathes once weekly on purpose. hear me out: water has to be brought on board and is obviously needed for stuff like cleaning and cooking first, then nami and robin's baths, sanji's, chopper's and usopp's. franky might need water for steam powered something-or-others too, who knows. regardless, all of those are things that zoro would prioritize over himself taking a bath every day (or twice a week, or however often), especially if he knows he's gonna be working out again as soon as he's awake. what's the point? he keeps odd sleep hours (4-7am) and mostly naps on the deck in the open air, so he's probably not actually stinking up the boys' room as much as you'd think, and it's the type of thing he'd do to decide that a little inconvenience (him being sweaty or stinky) is worth the trade-off of quietly allowing the other things on the ship that are needed to happen more smoothly and easily.

he's insanely protective. he's strong. he will work as hard as needed (and harder) to make sure whatever needs to get done gets done. once again, he is HYPERLOYAL. he's adorable. he thinks that north is up. he tarzan yells while swinging from ropes. he hates chocolate and drinks alcohol like he doesn't even have a liver. he took on a hundred bounty hunters by himself. he's covered in blood more often than not. he's only cried like three times in his life and they were all about making promises for the future. "nothing happened." he flips from feral creature to absolute dumbass in 0.01 sec. he kept track of the order his shipmates arrived back at sabaody for no reason except to tease them about it and is canonically good at math. he gets flung around by his captain like a sack of grain. i'm sorry but for me there's nothing not to love, zoro is hotness incarnate (fungus or not)

Someone was actually able to defend Zoro, and it's not. Don't worry, he doesn't know what the fourth sword style is, or I'd get Franky to invent a power washer. I'm impressed

For context, they're responding to Zoro's Defend your Blorbo post linked here

[melancholic-and-delusional]

Fyodor NSWF Alphabet

Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

A = Aftercare (How do they treat you after sex?)

  

   Don't expect anything too special. He'd do his best to make you comfortable and stay close with you, but it won't be anything extra. Nevertheless,  he's going to treat you right. He'd take a shower or a bath with you if he has enough energy left, and he'd always cuddle you to sleep.

B = Body Part (What is their favorite body part of theirs and their partner's?)

   In himself, I'd say he likes his facial features.  I don't think he likes his body that much since he is pretty weak and frail, but I do believe that he finds his face appealing.

   You, on the other hand, are special to him, so he finds every part of you beautiful. If he had to pick a favorite, however, he'd say he likes your eyes, arms  and chest (see more for chest on letter W) the best. He loves gazing into your eyes while having a conversation. He notices the way you look at him with a love-filled gaze, and that definitely fuels his ego. He likes your arms, especially if they're more muscular than his, because he appreciates your stronger body. He absolutely loves it when you wrap your arms around him. He feels so very loved.

C = Cum (Everything to do with it. 😘)

   I'd say he comes a bit more than the average. I don't think it's that often that he has sex or jerks off, so when he actually does come, he has a heavier load. As for its consistency, it's a slimier than it is liquid-ish. It is white and not that clear, and it tastes a bit sweet, actually.  He loves loves LOVES coming on you. It's like he's marking his territory. So possessive, and for what? 🙄

D = Dirty Secret (Self-explanatory)

   Fyodor definitely has a folder on his computer dedicated to you. It has photos, videos, and random journal entries of yours. They are not all sexual, but some are. The "dirtiest" part about it, is that he keeps it a secret from you. Since you're in a relationship, it's not unusual for him to keep photos of you, but he does like to look at them when bored and perhaps even rub one off if you aren't available to him or he gets too stressed over work.

E = Experience (Have they done this before? How good are they?)

   I honestly think that you're his first. He is a busy man and he doesn't like sleeping around. For him, sex is intimate and special, so he'd only like to share this type of thing with someone he really trusts and values. But despite his lack of experience,  he's surprisingly good.

F = Favourite Position (Self-explanatory)

   A classic man who likes classic things. He mostly enjoys different kinds of missionary and cow girl from time to time. He avoids things like doggy style. He thinks it's not intimate enough and would rather make eye contact while doing the deed.

G = Goofy (Are they rather serious during the moment or do they like to crack jokes?)

   He leans on the more serious side here. As I've said, this kind of thing is very intimate and special for him, so he prefers to be in the moment with you.

H = Hair (Do the carpets match the drapes? 🤭 Are they well kept?)

   Of course, the carpets match the drapes. He does keep it pretty clean down there. He doesn't like to be super hairy, so he shaves once every month and sometimes even more often. As for you, he doesn't mind if you have hair or not, as long as you keep everything under control.

I = Intimacy (How intimate are they?)

   Fyodor is very intimate. The whole point of sex for him is to be intimate, and he takes that very seriously.  Hence the reason why he wouldn't sleep around and would much prefer to make love to someone who he truly trusts and values. He will always make sure that whatever you guys do is always consensual and you are never uncomfortable. 

J = Jack off (How often do they do it?)

   Before he got together with you, he must have chosen you and persuaded you himself. So when one morning he woke up with morning wood and couldn't just shake it off, he decided it was finally time. But while he was doing it, he thought about you. That's when he knew he had to be with you. He used to jerk off when the time called for it, but now that he has you, he does it even less. The only time he actually does it is when you aren't in the mood or you're away for whatever reason.

K = Kink (Self-explanatory)

   He's pretty normal kink-wise (for the most part).

   Fyodor loves when you praise him. Sure, he knows he's very intelligent and great, and all that, but it's different when it comes out of your mouth. He might act cocky in that moment, but he... is actually cocky. Very prideful, for sure. He doesn't mind returning the favor and praising you as well. After all, you're his chosen one.

   He also likes to tie you up. It gives him a better sense of control, and he enjoys having you at his mercy. It would be rare for him to let you tie him up, though. He's willing to try it a couple of times, but don't expect him to do it frequently. He trusts you fully, but you should know your place.

   He likes it when you dress up for him, too. Especially if he's the one choosing your set of lingerie. It's so nice to see his girl all dolled-up for him. He prefers seeing you in white (sometimes red or pink) silk undergarments with cute laces and maybe some small bows. Bonus points if you're wearing thigh highs. He also loves slowly taking off said lingerie. He finds it very sexy.

L = Location (Where do they like to do it?)

   He avoids doing it in public. He much prefers doing it in the comfort of your home. In fact, he never wants to do it in public or even semi-public. It must be something really really urgent for him to actually agree to do it. It happens like once or twice at most. Why would he want somebody else to have the chance to stumble upon you two? Only he gets to see you this way after all, and besides that, he wouldn't want anyone else to catch him in such a vulnerable position.

M = Motivation (What turns them on?)

   Most of the time, it happens while you guys are making out. You would be about thirty to forty minutes into your make-out session, and he would desire you more with each passing minute. Of course, one thing leads to another it's only natural.

   There are some occasions, though, when he would get turned on by just the thought of you. In those cases, he tries his best to contain himself and waits patiently until he can be with you.

   There have also been times when he wakes up with morning wood, and you're right there next to him in bed. You could never refuse to pleasure him when he looks so adorable and when he kisses your neck so gently, yet each peck is filled with lust, and you can't help but slowly melt into his touch.

N = NO (What do they always refuse to do?)

   He would never agree to a threesome. He thinks that sex involving more than two people is only for polyamorous relationships. He's quite possessive and does not like to share.

   I think it's safe to say he would hate it if you were to give him some kinky titles such as "daddy" or "master". He finds them cheesy, and they make him feel uncomfortable, but he does like to hear you call him "sir" from time to time.

   He also hates getting degraded. He knows he doesn't deserve to be called any of those ugly names that people tend to call each other during sex. He can't imagine why anyone would enjoy that. Why would he want the love of his life to put him down in bed?

O = Oral (Do they prefer giving or receiving? Are they good?)

   He does prefer receiving over giving (kinda selfish 🙄😔). He loves it when you are below him as if you're bowing down to him, and you're also trying to pleasure him. It's honestly so heartwarming watching you take such good care of him, and he can't help but smile at the sight of you.

   He also likes giving head (but not as much as he loves receiving 🥱). He likes how you tug at his hair and praise him while he's in between your legs. It's nice to hear you moan when he knows you feel so well because of him.

P = Pace (How quick do they go?)

   He enjoys soft and passionate sex with you. He wouldn't do it very quickly since he isn't energetic, but even if he was, he'd still prefer to do it slower and take his sweet time. But that does not mean he won't get rough from time to time. If he wants to, he can always penetrate you deeper and harsher (as long as you're into it, of course).

Q = Quickie (Do they like them? How often do they do them?)

   He absolutely hates quickies. He'd only do them if he really really needed to. It would usually happen if he suddenly gets a boner during work, but he doesn't have time to have full-on sex with you, so he just calls you to his office for a quick relief.

R = Risk (Are they willing to experiment? How far would they go?)

   He would surprisingly be up for trying new things, as long as they don't completely disgust him. You guys won't try new things often, but he'd spice things up from time to time. For example, he'd bring a new interesting toy, try out some new kink, tie you up in an interesting and complex way, etc. But he wouldn't go as far as incorporating a weapon during the act because sex is for pleasure and not pain.

S = Stamina (How energetic are they?)

   As I said before, he's not very energetic due to his anemia. He would most likely do one round, rest for a few minutes while kissing/making out with you and do another round. He can last for around 4-7 rounds, but that excludes oral sex. Usually, you'll give him a blow-job in between some rounds or vice-versa.

T = Toy (What do they think of them? Do they incorporate them into bed often?)

   He prefers to use toys on you rather than himself. He loves experimenting with different kinds of vibrators, dildos and other toys, and seeing what kind of reactions he can get out of you. He finds it very entertaining, especially when he overstimulates you.

   He, however, only uses a cock ring once in a while. Sometimes he let's you experiment on him, but don't expect it to be too often.

U = Unfair (Do they like to tease?)

   He loves to tease, as I mentioned above. Besides overstimulating you, he also likes to edge you. It's fun to see you frustrated because he seized his movements, and you lost yet another orgasm.

   Sometimes, you try to get back at him, but that ends up backfiring on you. You would be sucking him off, and all of a sudden, you'd stop or slow down. He would gently pull you by the hair to face him and threaten to prevent you from orgasming until the next time you two have sex. That will quickly make you rethink your decisions. But some other times, you'll try the opposite on him - overstimulation. Then, he isn't likely to stop you since he doesn't have the energy to because he's especially sensitive after an orgasm. However, when you're done having your fun, expect him to return the favor twice as hard.

V = Volume (Are they loud?)

   He doesn't like making a lot of noise. That doesn't mean that he wouldn't, though. He tries his best to control himself, but he just can't help it. In the beginning, he would make low grunts and gasps, but as the sex progresses, he'll get more vocal. Definitely has some of the prettiest moans known to humankind. When you overstimulate him, your ears will 100% be blessed by the most godlike melody you've ever heard.

W = Wild Card (Random headcanon)

   Fyodor has an appreciation for your chest, so whenever he has the chance, he'll squeeze your boobs (he doesn't have a preference for size, don't worry). It's one of his favorite places to leave his hickeys on, besides your neck. He'd always try to have a hand around your chest, or he would take time kissing it in between rounds. He handles it very gently and with lots of care. He also likes to play with your nipples and watch you twitch from his cold touch against this sensitive spot of yours. He likes fucking his dick in between them and coming all over them. It's a giant turn on for him. If you're having sex during your period and your breasts are sore, he'd take his sweet time massaging them and caressing them.

X = X-ray (What is below their waist?)

   His dick is about 6.2 inches  (15.7 cm) soft and 6.8 inches (17.2 cm) hard. It is slightly more slender than average, and the tip is a brownish color. It's slightly tilted to the right and has two or three more prominent veins along it. The most sensitive parts are definitely the tip and his testicles.

Y = Yearning (How much do they want it?)

   He has slightly lower than average libido. He'll probably make love to you once every two or three weeks, but during some months he'll get random bursts of neediness and have sex with you more often (for example, once or even twice a week).

Z = ZZZ... (Do they fall asleep quickly after the act?)

   Since he doesn't have much stamina, and he wastes a lot of it during sex, I'd say he falls asleep rather quickly. He likes to hold you in his arms as the two of you drift off to sleep. But sometimes you'll get tired faster than him while he is still in the mood. That doesn't happen very often but when it does, cock warming comes into play. Then, you'll usually fall asleep while he has buried his dick deep inside you. If that happens, the next morning he'll probably wake up from a wet dream and continue what you couldn't finish the previous night.

Thank you so much for reading. I really hope you enjoyed it. As always, if you'd like for me to write you something BSD related, my requests are open.

[jillsandwhichs]

Aeon - Oneshots/AU's Collection, Chapter 4, Once in a blue moon

Masterlist

Pairing: Leon Kennedy & Ada Wong

Summary: Leon and Ada end up being at the same event. Them being in the same vicinity, of course, leads to something much more

Status of their relationship in this one shot: Complicated

WC: 3.6k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Making out, Dirty talk, Leon is a sub whereas Ada is a dom, Oral (Ada receives), Hookup, Semi public sex, P in V, Unprotected sex, Hair pulling & Clit rubbing

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Art Creds: JanetYuezi17

Leon entered the large room with a deep sigh. He doesn't want to be here. What's the point? To earn some good agent points from President Graham? He doesn't care what he thinks of him, he simply works for him. Leon doesn't want to be in a totally crowded place. He can hardly see what's in front of him with all of the people in the way, dancing, eating or conversing with others.

He has to do this though and he knows that.

Convoying further into the elegant estate, Leon was offered a glass of champagne. "Thanks." He gave a nod to the waiter. They even have fancy waters. The stereotypical type with the rag over their arm and the platter of drinks. Leon scoffed and sipped the light tint of yellow drink. It was good, he can't lie. Leon is only here to meet with some other agents and higher ups. Hopefully they're not the talkative types. He just wants to say hi and get out of here.

Leon is wearing a typical suit. He didn't even pick it out, it was decided by Graham (What he'd wear). Leon hates dressing up for formal events such as this. He doesn't want to look like a total fool. Then again, he's so out of place at parties like these, he probably looks silly the moment he walks through the front door. Leon sighed to himself, shooting the rest of the champagne down his gullet and setting the clear glass onto the bar beside where he was standing.

The music is not Leon's forte either. It's very classical; Leon likes metal and rock. He really can't vibe with a song unless it resonates with him and this blues shit, no, it does not make the cut. It's bad. Leon took a seat on the barstool and looked around the area. He scanned it, analyzed it. Yeah, there's a load of people here, none of which Leon knows or has even been aquatinted with. Leon would much rather be at home right now.

Glaring down at his watch, he checked the time. It's almost six, he wants to be gone by seven. Hopefully he is able to meet at least one person before he has to go or he can paint this 'mission' as failed. He stood up and grunted, turning around and looking at his glass. "Not my problem." He whispered beneath his breath. He left the glass there as he began to amble through the crowd, hoping to find someone with a name tag as him.

That is how he'll know if someone is in the same department as him-color coded name tags. It's rather childish but it gets the job done.

Traversing through the crowd, Leon didn't see any name tags that matched his. Everyone smells of strong perfume/cologne and alcohol. He isn't surprised. At this type of events, people take it as free range to get absolutely hammered.

As he continued to travel to the side, he suddenly heard someone call his name. "Leon! Leon, over here!" He turned around and sighed deeply. Patrick. Fucking Patrick. Whatever, it's better than no one. Leon walked over to him and gave him a fake smile. "Hey Pat." "What's up Leon? I didn't even think I'd see you here tonight." "I wish I wasn't here, but it is required." Leon stated to him. Patrick snickered and nodded. "You are funny."

Leon just raised his eyebrow and looked around. "What are you doing?" "Nothing much. I did just dance with a lady, so that was fun. Anywho, wanna meet some guys? This can go down on your record." Leon nodded, "Yeah, please. Bring me to them." Finally, Leon will be able to leave sooner than he thought he would. Patrick smiled and patted Leon on the upper arm. "I knew you'd want to. Follow me."

He began to be led by Patrick to the other side of the room. There were three men standing around a table. They had drinks and a board of food. "So these are the higher ups then?" "Yes, they are. Be cool!" Patrick said in a loud whisper. Leon scoffed. Who is Patrick to tell him how to act? He isn't an idiot. Patrick paused in front of the table, Leon did too. "Gentlemen, this is the Leon S Kennedy."

Leon waved and nodded. "Hello gentlemen." He said in a friendly manner. The men all stood up with a smile. "Good evening, Mr. Kennedy," One of the men spoke up, "I am Mr. Carter Hawkins. This is Mr. Collins Richards and Mr. Pete Fisher." Leon shook all of their hands and nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you all." It really isn't. Leon hates this all facade. He feels like a prick when doing this stuff because he doesn't actually care.

In the business world, you are for yourself and for yourself only. As for Leon, he's for the people. These men though? They're in it for the money and fame. There's always a dark side to each organization and these men are a part of it. It's sad. Working for the President, Leon didn't realize how shitty it would turn out to be. He supposes that's the price he has to pay. He didn't choose to work willingly under Graham, he was forced. He has to deal.

It's all just superficial. Leon thought that his line of work would be for honesty and truth, but of course it isn't.

As they were talking amongst themselves, Leon couldn't help but feel as if there were a pair of eyes on him. He gandered around the room, but nothing. It made him feel nervous. Who could be here eyeing him down. Leon leaned in closer to Patrick and murmured something to him. "Have you seen anyone that seems suspicious by chance?" "No." Patrick whispered back and looked around. "Why?" "Doesn't matter." Then Leon went back to speaking with Mr. Richards.

Within just a few minutes, Leon decided to turn around and that's when he saw her. It was Ada. He knew something was up. He recognized her immediately. It's only been a few months since he last saw her in Spain. After that, they hadn't spoken at all. Leon even figured he'd never see her again. He was wrong. He also often times has a feeling he'll see her every time he's out on a mission. He can't deny the fact he does look for her on those days.

Ada glanced at Leon and nudged her head before she then entered through a door.

"Gentlemen, excuse me, I have some business to attend." Leon nodded. The men said their goodbyes and Leon made way to said room. Did she even notice him? Was she nudging to someone else? He doesn't care. What in God's name is Ada Wong doing here?

Once Leon got closer to the door, his hands began to shake. He's anxious. Gaining the courage to just open the damn door, he did. When he entered, he saw Ada right before him. Yeah, that's her. He could recognize her anywhere. She's been on his mind ever since the incident in Spain so of course she just had to show up here of all places.

"Leon." Ada said softly. "I didn't think you'd be here." "I'm sure." Leon didn't buy that one bit. She chuckled and walked over to him. "Why are you here, Ada?" "Business, you know I don't work and tell." Those are the exact words she used on him back in Spain. Leon scoffed. "This is where I work, you can't just show up and-" "Leon, stop talking. I'm not here to do anything bad, I am simply here to meet someone." "Who?" "It doesn't matter."

So many thoughts are racing through his head. In a way, it's so upsetting to see her. He doesn't want to deal with any of her antics. At the same time however, he's glad. She's been on his mind. Ada is a part of Leon that he knows he'll never fully be able to let go. Leon loves her, he's never even tried to deny that. He doubts she feels the same all things considered. He's tried to get over her, but he never can.

Ada is sly and sleuth. She's always reminded Leon of a black cat on the prowl. She's seductive too, that's clear. Ever since that dreadful night back in Raccoon City, Ada has had him wrapped around her little finger. She uses him at her own discretion-at least that's what Leon is told. He knows Ada better than that. There's no way she doesn't feel something for him. She has to.

Leon sighed deeply. "Ada, if you're here to cause any mischief, just tell me so I can leave." Ada rolled her eyes and placed her hands onto his chest. "Leon," she hummed, "you don't trust me one bit, do you?" Ada questioned him. Leon breathed in a sharp breath as her finger tips trailed down his body and right above his waistband. What is she up to? "How can I when all you ever do is deceive me?"

She smirked and pulled away from him. "My apologies but you do remember that you're the one who clung to me back in R.C, correct? I tried to leave you be, you kept coming back to me like a lost puppy." She isn't wrong. It's only because Leon wanted answers and felt it was safer to stick beside someone. It's not like he knew who Ada was or what she was doing. Leon stepped back and hit his back on the door. "Just do whatever you plan to do." Was all he said before he went to leave the room.

Before he could, Ada grasped his wrist and shook her head. "Leaving so soon?" "What do you want?" Leon asked in a low voice. He's actually curious at this point. What's her deal? Ada's eyes went really soft as she looked up at him. That's exactly what captures him. That's why he kissed her back in Raccoon City, that's why he saved her back in Spain... It's the way she gets. She's manipulative and Leon's aware of that-but she just weaves him in her web.

"I think you should stay with me for a little bit..." Her hands then went to his belt and he went to back away, but once again hit the door. "Do you not want me to?" Ada instantly let go. Admittedly, she's also missed Leon and she's in desperate need for him. It's not as if she enjoys hurting Leon like this-of course not-but work first, hooking up later. For now though, the roles can be reversed.

Leon suddenly grabbed her face and began kissing her. He felt Ada smile against his lips. His hands went to her waist whereas hers remained on his chest. "I've missed you." Leon admitted. He felt pathetic after saying it. "Oh Leon..." Ada whispered against his lips, kissing him passionately. She missed him too, even if she's not ready to admit it. Their kissing was powerful. It was as if the world was going to end and this was their final goodbye.

Of course, neither of them truly know when the last time they see one another will be.

Pushing her up against a table, Leon chuckled. Ada was between him and the white, sturdy table. They both could tell where this was going. Ada pulled away from the kiss and began to work on taking his belt off. "How much time do you have?" "As long as you need me for." Leon said quietly. He feels pathetic, once again. Ada truly has him pinched between her fingers. Leon doesn't even care at this point. Ada will always be Ada.

Removing his belt, Ada set it on the table before lifting herself onto the table. Leon let out a huff as he watched her do that. She's ready for him, she wants him. This just makes the experience to come a billion times more lovely. Leon pulled his dress pants all the way down along with his boxers. Adas eyes went to his member and she smiled before making eye contact with him. "Come here." She pulled on his blazer. Leon snickered and cupped her cheek firmly, kissing her once again.

Her lips were so soft against his. Leon never wants this moment to end. Kissing Ada only reminds him of when they met. God, she's perfect. Leon can't not give in to her. "Fuck I've wanted this for so long." Leon grunted. Ada tittered and nodded. "Me too." She then lifted her waist up to pull her dress up, revealing her lacy panties. Leon nearly lost his breath. What a sight to see.

"I want to taste you." Leon wasn't lying. He's fantasized about this. Ada is gorgeous, she's beautiful, he wants her badly. "Oh? You do?" Ada bit her lip and started to pull her panties down. She did it so painfully slowly, it made Leon whine out in annoyance. Once they hit her ankles, Leon pulled them off and set them to the side. They were a bit wet and that made him even harder. Now they're both naked from the waist down.

Leon grabbed Ada's legs and set them up on the table. Her knees were bent upwards, her pussy directly in front of him. Her legs being spread was insanely sexy to Leon. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her thighs. They were pale and soft, Leon couldn't stop caressing them. He started to leave kisses from he knees and down to her very inner thighs. Occasionally he'd get a glimpse of her sopping cunt and all it did was enhance his horniness.

Eventually, Leon moved his lips from her thighs to her folds. He kissed both before finally swiping his tongue through them. His tongue licked up all of her wetness. It was so much. He groaned, the taste was a delicacy. "Mmm yes." Ada moaned, her fingers gripped the end of the table she's resting on. Leon's tongue repeatedly slicked up and down through her folds. She tastes amazing. Leon can't believe this is his first time ever being with her like this and that it happened so suddenly.

Leon couldn't stop. He doesn't want to. His lips and tongue suckled on her nub. Ada's little moans and whimpers made Leon start to precum. He's down for her, down badly. He just wants to fuck her. "You taste so good." Leon whispered to her. Ada sighed softly and grasped onto his dirty blonde hair. Her slim fingers ran through it and tugged on it. "Faster." She didn't have to tell him twice. The speed of his slick tongue picked up.

Ada set her legs up onto his shoulders, enabling him to have a different angle. Leon took this opportunity and immediately gripped onto her thighs as he began to feast upon her like a mad man. Ada's legs started to shake and her insides began to twist. She knew she was close. She could tell. "I'm so close." Ada said softly to Leon. Leon chuckled deeply against her pussy before beginning to continuously swirl his tongue on her clit.

This was her undoing. Just a few more twirls of his tongue and Ada was done for. She shook slightly as she came on his face. Leon breathed in deeply as he licked her once more before pulling away. He is respectful. He's willing to give her some time to recoup herself. Ada panted and started to sit back up. Leon wiped the area near his lips and huffed out a breath.

"That was great." Ada spoke, pulling Leon back close to her. "Let's make this quick." She giggled as she spread her legs again. Leon snickered and nodded. "Where are you going after this?" "To finish business. Why?" Leon sighed deeply. "So that's it? We just have sex and you leave?" "Leon," Ada sat up and started to kiss the area on his upper chest. "Don't be upset with me." Ada then kissed his cheek. "Just fuck me." She whispered, leaning back again.

Leon scoffed. "That's exactly what I'm going to do." Leon sighed, pumping himself a few times. There is precum on his tip-Ada makes him feel ways he knows he could never feel with anyone else. Ada wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer into her. "Don't hold back. Who knows when you'll see me again." She said seductively. Leon grinned and slowly entered her, allowing her to adjust around him. He can admit, he's big.

Her hands were resting on either side of the table and her legs were encased around his midriff. "You're tight." Leon chuckled, kissing her knee before beginning to move. Ada bit her lip and nodded. She's aware. She knows she feels good. Ada is rather confident and knowing of how great she is, in bed and out. "Fuck." Leon grunted, moving back and fourth into her slowly. He was hitting so deep inside of her, he knows he's hitting her sweet spot.

Ada moaned softly and tossed her head back. "Leon..." She whimpered, holding onto his wrist which his hands were on her fit thighs. "Leon." She stated. "Hmm?" "Didn't I say don't hold back?" Ada giggled, tilting her head to gaze at him. "I was just trying to give you time to-" "Don't hold back." She interrupted him. Leon then began to thrust into her at a fast & hard rate. Ada nodded and tossed her head back once again. She isn't surprised that he is able to fuck her senselessly.

"Come here." Leon groaned out breathlessly. He pressed his lips against her roughly. Their making out was erotic and sloppy-but so meaningful. This is the last thing Leon expected out of this evening. Seeing Ada isn't too surprising but making love to her? Leon never expected that. As he pumped himself into her, he could feel how tight she was getting. That meant she was close. It's not surprising-she is still sensitive from what he ate her out.

Ada hooked her arms around his neck. She was clinging onto him like a spider monkey with a tree. Leon brought his hand down to her clit and started to gently rub it. "Yes Leon, god, just like that." Ada huffed out, kissing him again and licking his lower lip. She was begging for entry. Leon opened his mouth again and kissed her lovingly. The way his thumb rubbed over her clit was enough to get her so close to the edge. She knows she'll finish any second.

Leon swiftly raised his other hand behind her back and tugged on her black hair, pulling her neck backwards. Ada giggled as Leon kissed all along her neck and collarbone. He was sure to leave marks. He wants people to know she got fucked. "I'm so close." Ada whispered to him. Her arms were resting on his back now, primarily for support but also just because she needs him close to her. "Cum for me."

With just a few more thrusts into her, Ada was finished. She came around him. Her liquid fluids seeped onto his cock as he fucked her fast and roughly. "Mmm fuck." Leon grunted, continuing to move into her. Ada moaned and held onto him tighter. Her entire area down there felt more sensitive than ever before since she's orgasmed twice in one night plus, Leon isn't stopping.

All Ada had to do was kiss him softly and run her fingers through his hair to get Leon to finish. He pulled out of her and released his semen all over her inner thighs. He panted heavily. That was the greatest sex of his life. He was so happy it was with Ada. Ada smiled and pulled a rag out of her wallet, wiping herself off. "You are a goddess." Leon whispered to her. "Oh?" Ada didn't expect such a compliment.

"You are great at sex." Leon stated, adjusting his pants. Ada nodded and fixed her dress. Leon went to grab her panties to put them back on her but she shook her head. "Keep them." She winked before getting off of the table. "You're really just going to go?" "Hm? Yes. I said that." Ada began to amble towards to door. "You know you'll see me again one way or another, Leon." "Yeah... Hopefully." He looked down, fidgeting with his fingers.

Ada tilted her head and made an "Awe" noise. She traversed to him and pressed a gentle kiss to his jawline. "You fucked me very well... I promise, that won't be the last time..." She kissed him once more and went to the door. Before she left, she turned her head and spoke. "So long, Leon." Ada then left the room. "Bye." He murmured beneath his breath. She's probably off to manipulate someone else for money or something.

Looking down at her panties, Leon chuckled. He can't believe she just gave them to him. He stuffed them into his pocket then fixed his hair. "Fuck me." He grunted before leaving the room. He never saw Ada again for that entire night.

[mdhwrites]

if you've seen Steven universe how would you compare it to TOH? I've seen many takes that TOH is Steven Universe 'done correctly' which drives me up a wall, especially since TOH has a lot of the same flaws as SU (pretty much everyone has to be tied to steven in some way- the same way everyone's gotta tie into Luz, White Diamond pisses me off for the same reason the collector does and dear god both finales are messes and the worldbuilding is also kind of messy) but pretty much everyone can agree that Steven Universe's themes of restorative justice are good, its themes surrounding interpersonal relationships and intergenerational trauma is good- I've seen people justify how TOH handles its villains 2 ways "its doing steven universe's restorative justice but like correctly" or "its about killing your oppressors, which steven should have done" which is dumb. Idk this fandom has a huge hate-boner for SU and Amphibia in general though. I also saw someone have the take the collector and belos where foils which... Is weird I can see where they come from but they never are put together in a way that highlights their similarities and differences. So what are some actual comparisons that can made between the shows outside of LGBT characters and surface level stuff?

Sadly I have not seen Steven Universe so I can't really comment on much of it. I've seen the first episode (both halves), decided the gems were insufferable to me and Steven was okay and went on with my life because at the time, I was a full time college student and a part time Walmart employee. I do like some of the songs that have reached me but I never got an in with the show, especially since my early experience with it was much like Gravity Falls where I heard a lot of high concept stuff about it but not much about why I would actually enjoy a given episode, what was enjoyable about the characters, etc. like that. Honestly, the only criticism I know of for it is that people hate the ending.

BUT.

I have seen one other thing. I have seen about twenty minutes of the Steven Universe movie. With that I can say one thing definitively even if it's not clearing a high bar: The Diamond's turn to good is better than the Collector's because they have literally ANY reason to listen to the person preaching at them. The Collector doesn't. In fact, he has no reason to reform and it is drastically out of character for him to care about... Anyone?

Let me start on the Diamond's side because I don't have a lot to say about this but it is something I'm surprised I haven't heard anyone talk about: They were clearly traumatized by the loss of Pink Diamond. Whether or not you think this is a good part of the plot isn't what matters, the point is that this is a literal fact to the story. This grief has gone unresolved for literal decades (just going by Steven's lifespan, someone in my Discord provided the context that they blamed themselves for her DEATH, not just disappearance, for CENTURIES which only bolsters the point I'm making) and has festered in them a desperation for their old comrade? Friend? I don't 100% know but you get the point. So when her son arrives and can't be kept by force, they're going to be pretty amenable to listen to whatever demands means keeping him around. Is that great? No, I wouldn't say it is as the question of what happens when Steven dies is there but it works for forcing them to consider the consequences of their actions and how they may need to change to have the life they desire. It is a compelling force for the first step of change. It's not amazing but it is at least functional from a narrative standpoint, an emotional standpoint and from a character standpoint. Not that it's great but that it is functional. You can string together how this works without having to just invent bullshit.

The Collector has none of these three because he's the literal fucking worst.

I've talked about this before but the Collector isn't the child the fandom treats him as. Even if we try to disconnect the second season version of the Collector, who very much so knows what death is and the consequences of his actions, S3 Collector does have a foil to Belos: He's an actual colonizing piece of shit. Not in that he is literally colonizing places but in mindset. Everything to him is something to be used for his entertainment or enrichment or it is to be stripped of all rights and brutally oppressed until it fits the role he desires. This is what happens when you become a LITERAL. FUCKING. DOLL. And he even has enforcers like the armies colonies would use that have wildly more powerful magic, i.e. technology, in order to make that oppression more seamless. Remember: Hexside is actively hiding from roaming stars that he just has going around the Isles that hoover up people, making at least those who resist into dolls immediately without question, and then bringing them to him to be new play toys in his game. That is explicitly what he has been doing to the entire Isles for MONTHS once S3 episode 2 happens.

People do not matter to him and this even extends to King. When King steps out of line, The Collector cracks the whip. He's even willing to KILL KING for having the gall of caring about anyone other than him. Those death games would be just as lethal to King as it would be to Eda and Luz after all. And if you actually do divorce S2's "PLAY AMONGST THE BONES!" line (which is fucking awful because you have to remove literally all of the first appearances of a character which is usually considered, you know... Bad) and believe that he doesn't know what death is... He knows what pain is. He knows what torture is. He knows the despair of being trapped in a space where you can't move or act or do anything except watch as an observer on a world that could destroy you at any moment because your prison is all of your being.

And then he makes people into dolls, with consciousness, without a second thought. He is willing to BREAK people in order to make them play along. His literal plan was to shatter the bodies of the Owl House trio over and over and over again until they were subservient to his desires. That is WORSE than just wanting to kill them. And he only stops to throw a tantrum because he fails to succeed and starts whining about it like any selfish asshole not getting his way. Not like a child: Like a selfish asshole.

So with ALL of this, what does the show do to try to make him consider the consequences of his actions? Well... Nothing. It claims it's trying to do something but the tour with the trio is much more a circle jerk about how amazing the show was and how much could have happened if not for the shortening ("That sounds like something that could have been its own spin off!" Or whatever King says to Eda talking about her and Raine's time at Hexside) than it is about talking to the Collector. There's a couple lines here and there, talking to him about what works for making friends but does it stick?

No, the Collector learns nothing and in mocking Steven Universe, they make that clear. The Collector is told that people are complex and you must show compassion. Rather than actually believing this, he uses it like a blunt hammer, just like all of his other solutions, to make a problem of his go away. That's why he hugs Belos and assumes it will work. He is not considering the complexity of humanity or the person he is applying this to. It is just to solve a problem so he'll get praised and go back to playing his games. Nothing. More.

And then he fucks off instead of fixing the damage he'd done because why would he stay? Why would he help? He hasn't learned anything and he doesn't want to help these people. He has NO motivation for why he helps save the Archive except otherwise he loses his sweet crash pad. So afterwards? He's gonna go somewhere where he can be himself and not be scolded for it because this toy is no longer fun.

Edit: He does stay to change everyone back from dolls. That much more falls into the "It's the ending, we have to have the problem only he can fix be fixed by him" despite the fact that he is responsible for so much more destruction that would theoretically be pretty easy for him to fix as well. He only does what is demanded of him for the sake of a happy ending, not because of character motivation, not from how I see it at least.

The most condemning part of this is that it's all around Luz. All around someone he doesn't like. He sees Luz as trying to take away his only friend after all and, you know, he is correct about that. They don't even try to hide that fact during the tour. They're still clearly upset with him and not even trying to be his friend, they're just lecturing him. It doesn't work from a character perspective, a narrative perspective or an emotional one. King MIGHT have with better writing, there's a reason I always wanted the Collector redeemed by one of his games forcing him to have to kill King by the rules he made before breaking it and having to face how that's unfair and cruel to others since they wouldn't get that leniency, but that's not how the show plays it. King is an unwilling servant for one episode and then VERY against the Collector in the next until after the death games. When he first shows up, King isn't trying to mediate, he is ready to fight just like the other two. He's not the Collector's friend and he never was so why would the Collector bother listening to him?

That is why me saying the Diamonds, even with my limited knowledge, works better than the Collector is almost literally the worst you can do when it comes to something like this. All the setup is wrong, the catalyst requires explicit retcons and don't work with the character and the payoff is... Nothing. Literally nothing. The only way to have done it worse is to have had everyone praise the Collector before he then stabbed Amity and no one acted like that was a problem. It can only function because we are TOLD he's redeemed even if he never shows it.

Andrias standing alone as a farmer, accepting the punishment for his actions and trying to make better on them, is such better payoff to a redemption arc than anything the Collector gets and his redemption was in character and setup by his past. So then let's get to one of your last points: Why is it that the TOH fandom rags on SU and Amphibia so much, especially for their endings, when theirs is such shit?

Well... Because that's the reputation of TOH. That it is the 'good' one. That it is better than almost all other media. The show itself, with moments like the Collector mocking the SU ending by hugging Belos, reinforces this. As such, for you to criticize TOH as failing in a department that other shows are not rapturously praised for is to fall out of sync with the show itself. As such, all other works must be placed beneath it, especially if those are widely believed to have a flaw in an element to then raise TOH up with. This is part of why so many people want to say the Amphibia ending is wrong because the Amphibia ending is brave and controversial and saying something while the TOH ending?

I mean... Do you really think the Collector's the only part of it objectively flawed like this? Because if a major redemption for your big bad is botched this badly, you can bet other problems exist. I've talked about them at length. But there are probably people out there who would call me the Lily Orchard of TOH if I was better known.

See you next tale.

======+++++======

That last line isn't an endorsement of Lily Orchard btw, just that I have to imagine it's the label I would be given. What little exposure I've had to her works is... YIKES. Just fucking yikes. My Discord has really enjoyed every time I've live reacted to a video of hers they've posted there. sigh

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[ethicaltreatmentofcowplants]

Asylum Challenge: Day 12

(Nothing to see here - just Vlad very excitedly browsing through Trendi by the looks of his current get-up)

This was the first of three days where Wicked Whims... kind of got out of hand until everyone figured out what they were into, I guess 🤔. Also I realised that I'd set the lot to the FLIRTY trait for one day and forgot about it which was... a chaotic combination to put it mildly.

So while nothing explicit will be shown, just something to keep in mind, I guess?

Look at her, look at her, she's no good at yoga. I had considered a Spa Day pack aspiration, since Lilac will likely need the inner peace going forward, but then I saw how grindy they all were.

So... Lady of the Knits!

Level One: Humble Knitter

❌ Knit for 5 Hours (2/5) ❌ Start 3 Knitting Projects While Inspired (0/3) ✅ Knit on a Rocking Chair

No, she isn't Whims related below the waist - it's just flesh toned underwear. (I had to take a second look too.)

Another early riser (easy for someone who doesn't need to go to bed) was Vlad. Along with Rory. The two... well, one occult heavyweight, and one tissueweight, actually managed to have a civil moment, perhaps with music loving Rory appreciating Vlad's skill on the piano.

Oh wait, L. is up. There goes the ceasefire, if not the entire neighbourhood.

Meanwhile the Roswells had a moment over breakfast. Could a GOOD traited Sim and her EVIL husband ever make their marriage work? Now that they're played Sims, apparently not.

While Lilac took a THOUGHTFUL SHOWER to get those creative juices flowing (takes on a whole new meaning with this mod 😬), Jacques woke up in a sad mood thanks to those voices in his head.

Clearly whatever leftover gourmet dish that Raj made the night before was the only cure.

Meanwhile Ted apparently tried to enlist Vlad in order to sway Meredith over to their EVIL ways, but as Vlad was seemingly more interested in having Ted's opinion on his potential Trendi buys, it wasn't working. Thanks to their POSSESSED late night strolls and chats, Ted is the one person in the household other than Lilac who has a positive relationship with Vlad.

As unlike L., for the most part Vlad is actually trying to be cordial to most of the household, the Watcher does lowkey feel sorry for him about this.

THOUGHTFUL SHOWER did the trick, and Lilac was able to start her three inspired knitting projects! Since that glitch where you can't resume projects is still hanging around, she wasn't able to finish them, but we'll take any loophole that we can get.

Rory started a new freelance career as a programmer (great way to work on her handiness too being a werewolf I guess 👍) while Meredith apparently didn't get the memo that On Wednesdays, We Do Crafting Hour.

Lilac kindly pointed out that mixology with the globe bar just over there would count as a creative skill. Perhaps as a result of her less than stellar relationship with Ted, Meredith appears to have decided that yes, actually a drink sounds real good right about now.

Ted literally could have gone and done anything else in the house, but instead he goes and plays Road Warrior or whatever near where Rory is trying to work, and freaks out because he's next to a transformed woof-woof. I don't think that Rory's the problem here...

Raj seemingly did not appreciate the Watcher telling him to make himself useful and to take out the trash.

It must have frozen over in Tartosa and the gameplay hell that is the My Wedding Stories pack, because L. was actually nice to Lilac! Oh right, the Watcher got her to 'scope the surroundings,' and Lilac is apparently 'very attractive' to her too.

The Watcher set the one person in the household who doesn't need to eat on the task of cooking dinner, mainly so that he's close by so that I can cancel his autonomously eating it when he has the vampire weakness where food makes him sick. Because he has a knowledge related aspiration, he's actually at a decent culinary level.

Looks like L.'s niceness allotment for the year is about to expire.

Ted and Jacques were impressed with Raj's alleged unaliving of a workplace rival, offered to recruit him to the round table of villainy. He said that he's good, thank you.

Yup, L.'s niceness streak aged like warm milk. And a reminder that she thinks Lilac is hot too!

While Vlad wisely stayed out of things by doing the dishes (he acquired the NEAT trait at some point, which is very useful to have in the household's vampire), Rory must have taken issue with L.'s meanness, because next minute they went outside, Rory was walking in with a spring in her step and L. was bruised and battered.

Just how long is it going to take these apparent occult geniuses to learn not to forbidden word with Rory?

Lilac must have been especially appreciative of her shieldmaiden in furry armour, because well. This was the one animation it was safe to show you. In fairness, it's a pretty cute one.

In less exciting news, Lilac is now on the second stage of the Knitting aspiration.

Level Two: Thread Setter

❌ Achieve Level 4 of the Knitting Skill (3/4) ❌ Knit While Listening to Music ❌ Sell a Knitted Object on Plopsy

My head is feeling full and gluggy so I may post the next couple of days in a few hours.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

Hello!

I always wondered honestly how FO4 faction leaders (and maybe some companions that also belong to sayd faction, like Danse) whould react finding out the Sole Survivor is with the Enclave? (Maybe via a tattoo they have or dogtag)

Im guessing most whould be very unhappy and instantly accuse them of being a spy.

I'm interested what you think, since for fo4 the only Enclave option you really have is the Enclave rising mod but companions don't comment on it of corse.

Fo4 Factions React To Sole Being With The Enclave

➼ Word Count » 1.7k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Platonic/Romantic, Angst? ➼ A/N » This is such an interesting idea! Also, I hope you don’t mind but, I added a few more faction characters 🤭

Preston was horrified when he found out. There have been a few stories from settlers migrating from the Capital Wasteland, but he never imagined that you, of all people, would be with them. The entire idea of 'cleansing the land' is precisely what the Minutemen are trying to fight against. He feels as if you've just been using him this entire time for your own personal gain. Why else would you agree to be general if you didn't believe in their cause? Did you ever think they'd be able to make a change? Or were you just playing along for the fun of it? It's an understatement to say he's angry, though, more at himself than you. Out of everyone he could've stumbled upon to make into the Minutemen's new leader, you're who it was. And he was the one who supported you. Preston's won't be in the mood for compromising, he'll just turn you away. Similar to how he does when you side with the Nuka-World raiders. He's over it. He'll start over - find someone new, and you can go back and do whatever it is that you do. He's disgusted with himself for sticking with you for so long, but also because of how he can't bring himself to kill you. He just wishes you didn't try so hard to be friends with him. Then your betrayal wouldn't hurt him so badly.

Sturges noticed the Enclave marking early on but didn't know what it symbolized and never mentioned it. It wasn't until he overheard your argument with Preston that he decided to approach you about it. He stopped you while you were leaving Sanctuary and softly asked what happened between you and Preston. A part of him hoped he could mend your relationship with him, even if he knew it was far past that point. He cares for the both of you. The Minutemen were the best thing to ever happen to him, and he'd be damned if he let it break apart without trying to fix anything. That's what he's known for, isn't it? Fixing things? Even after he talks to you, he's still not sure what the Enclave is. All he knows is that he desperately wants both you and Preston to come to an agreement. He feels like a kid in the middle of a messy divorce and it stresses him out.

Any tough exterior that Elder Maxson puts up is immediately shattered when he sees that painfully familiar mark. He's seen firsthand what they've done to the world - what they're capable of, and he refuses to condone that behavior, especially when it comes to a supposed member of his cause. He'll stare you down with both a mix of fear and anger for stepping aboard the Prydwen. Who do you think you are? Surely, your joining the Brotherhood wasn't an accident, and he's not willing to wait and find out what your purpose for infiltrating them is. You're off the ship. No discussion necessary. He refuses to fight alongside anyone of your stature, and if he ever sees you again, he won't hesitate in ordering your death. The Commonwealth won't be a repeat of the Capital Wasteland. He'll make sure of it.

Danse doesn't have many memories of the Enclave, but if it evoked a reaction like that out of Elder Maxson, then he's sure you can't be anyone good. The decision on what should happen to you is out of his control, but whatever is decided, he'll stick with and enforce. His loyalty to the Brotherhood outweighs his relationship with you. Even if you were considerably close to him, he'd still be firm in his stance. You either need to leave for another state or be exterminated. Heartbroken as he might be, this isn't the first time he's had to do something he found hard for the betterment of the Brotherhood. He was close to Cutler, and look where he is. Danse doesn't sympathize with enemies, and you're no exception.

Haylen might not have been a scribe during the Brotherhood-Enclave War, but she still remembers those moments vividly. It was concerning as a civilian, and she can't even imagine what it felt like for those who were on duty. Despite the threat you could be to the Brotherhood, she feels conflicted about completely dismissing you. You've done a lot to support their cause and, to her, that means something, no matter if you've got an Enclave marking or not. Whatever Maxson decides is what he decides, but know that if you ever happened to be in the same area, she'd gladly bring you a bit of supplies.

Desdemona notices it, and would've turned you away when you first discovered the Railroad if it weren't for Deacon vouching for you. She's suspicious of you from day 1 and nothing ever changes about that. Even if you helped them out from start to finish she'd be suspicious. The Enclave is a massive and very dangerous organization that the Railroad does not support in any capacity. The fascism alone makes her feel critically toward you and you'll have spies observing your every move until she decides that she finally trusts you, which probably won't happen until you show you've fully quit working with them altogether.

Deacon’s aware of who you're affiliated with early on, but he hopes his shpeal about looking at what the organizations are doing rather than what they're telling you will change your mind. He really likes you and thinks that you'd be a great asset to the Railroad, especially since you've had military training at some point from being with the Enclave. Maybe it's idealistic of him, but he's really hoping that he can get you to change sides. He knows what it's like to have a past you're not proud of, and he genuinely believes he can get through to you and convince you to quit the Enclave at some point. Even if no one else in the Railroad agrees with him on that. There's just something about you that he's always been drawn to, and he doesn't want to give up on you so fast.

Tinker Tom's with Dez on this. He doesn't trust you either and would build you a gun just so he can track where you go. Every time you come near him, his eyes go wide with fear and his shoulders tense up. You don't know it, but he's got a pocket knife on him that he's itching to use the second you do something to fast. The only thing that'd make him feel a little better about having you around is if you agree to be injected with his battery acid. It'll make him calm down a little bit, but he still won't exactly like having you around so often. You're just not one of them. The Enclave and the Railroad both have complete opposite goals and it's hypocritical for you to argue you're loyal to both.

Glory might actually start firing on you if you even slightly raise you're voice at anyone in HQ. She's with everyone else in that she doesn't think you're someone who can be relied on and she does everything she can to get that across to you. In fact, if you do anything she deems suspicious or possibly traitorous, she'll attempt to assassinate you on your next outing. You're going to have to prove a lot to her, and many other Railroad members that you're not going to sell them out the second the opportunity arises. She's rude to you, sure, but you've got to understand that this is her family she's trying to protect, and you being there is a threat in it of itself.

Father doesn’t care as much as he probably should. He doesn’t see the Enclave, or any group for that matter, as a threat. At most, they’re just a nuisance that might slow down the Institute, but it’s something that’s easy to fix. He's a bit cocky in that way. Unless your relationship with the faction interferes with any of the Institute's plans, he won’t pay much mind to it. Just keep them in DC, won’t you? There's enough organizations to deal with in the Commonwealth as it is, no point in adding another.

X6-88 doesn't like it, and he's very vocal about wanting you to quit, but it's ultimately your decision. In his mind, the Institute is the only faction you should be focused on, especially if you're planning on being the leader, so quitting the Enclave would be in your best interest. He also has a cocky outlook concerning the Enclave and fully believes that, if anything were to occur, the Institute would be able to defuse it instantly. Despite his disagreement with who you're affiliated with, he'll still follow you. You're still his boss, and until you give him a reason to suspect that you're not as committed to the cause as you claim, it's none of his business who you decide to work with.

Dr Li is on edge the moment that you’re introduced. She can’t help but think back on everything the Enclave's done to the world - done to her. She does her best to hide her face from you, and whenever she has to talk to you, she's noticeably more nervous and tense. All she can think about is the assassination of James and the abduction of the Lone Wanderer. She's never trusted them and doesn't intend on doing it now. She's fully convinced that part of why you're here is to finish the job in exterminating her. She doesn't believe for a second that you'll do the Institute right and will leave to rejoin the Brotherhood if you happen to stay. It stresses her out that none of the other scientists seem to feel as concerned as she is with the thought of you being in the heart of their bunker. No amount of pleading will get anyone else to agree with her about being suspicious and that makes her incredibly fearful.

[butmakeitgayblog]

In Starlet AU, you mentioned they break up and get back together a few times before finally deciding to be together. What is that moment that finally clicks for them to decide this is it, through hell or high water we’re in this together? Do they see other people in between?

Yeah they break up several times during the beginning part of their relationship for one reason or another, though mostly it's out of fear. Fear of being found out, fear of committing to this thing that feels so fucking big in the universe, when just last year they'd both been telling themselves they'd never jeopardize their careers for anything.

Fear of ruining the most deeply intimate and profound friendship either had ever had.

There were so many moving parts to their lives and always felt like one wrong breath out of place would ruin everything. So inevitably, one or the other would get skittish and bolt because that was what they were used to doing.

In that time tho, they never stopped talking. Even at their worst, they never went a day without reaching out. Even when all they could manage was nothing more than a "good morning" and and answered "good night". Even when it hurt, even when they were so fucking mad they just wanted to punch something, even when they were heartbroken to the point they'd just sit in silence on the phone and cry. They still were each other's person who they reached out to.

But even during that mutual pining mess of a situation, they both tried to move on, yes. Clarke does go so far as to casually date someone for a few weeks - and does sleep with them, but regrets it (and continues to for the rest of her life despite knowing that, technically, at that time she didn't owe Lexa anything) because she did it for all the wrong reasons. Lexa being a lesbian and closeted doesn't afford her the same luxury of being so bold in her attempts to unattach, but she does somewhat drift back toward an old fling that she knows won't mean anything, nor will it raise any questions publicly.

But... she knows Clarke knows what it means when they're seen together. She knows Clarke remembers their confessions of how they used to handle the loneliness.

Is it petty?

Maybe.

Is it genuinely Lexa searching for solace in her pain?

Absolutely.

Is it also what inevitably leads Clarke to calling Lexa at 3 o'clock in the morning and confessing that she can't do this? That she can't do this weird fucking thing where they're pretending to be just friends again. Because they're not just friends and they never have been, because she's been at least half in love with Lexa since that afternoon in the casting office's waiting room. Because she's been completely in love with her for well over a year now, pretty much since the second Lexa let her stand barefoot on her feet just to dance to some stupid song from her childhood while she clung to her and cried.

And to admit that she fucked up. She'd fucked up because she'd tried to move on like they'd agreed. That she'd kissed him, and she'd slept with him, and now she just feels sick all of the time. Every second. And she knows that Lexa already knows it, already saw them, but she just needed to say it herself, because it's not cheating but goddamnit it still feels like it. And that she understands whatever Lexa's done to console herself through this too because she knows, she knows, she knows how hard this has been. But honestly, no matter what Lexa and that fucking waste of a girl have done, she doesn't want Lexa to ever tell her about it. Because she'll get angry. And she'll want to be mean. And she'll be so jealous she knows she couldn't breath. So she'd rather just skip that part if they please possibly could, because she'd really really really rather just be in love with Lexa instead.

That call lasts until sunrise while Clarke bags up the majority of her clothes and important possessions, because it's the last sunrise they have ever share where Clarke doesn't own a designated side of Lexa's bed 👀

[fandom-hoarder]

Happy wincest Wednesday! It's been too long since I've done this. I keep forgetting when it's Wednesday, lol.

Case in point: I meant to ask this one last week for aro week. Any aro Dean Wincest headcanons? Just like... Particular ways you think it does or doesn't impact the relationship. Or how it changes how they get together. Or their opinions on monogamy or the relationship in general. Or changes the sex. Or like. Anything.

- @schizosamwincester

Happy Wincest Wednesday, @schizosamwincester !

My main headcanon regarding aro Dean + Wincest is that they operate mostly as a qpr, except they have few physical boundaries and sometimes they fuck. When it comes to their sexual relationship, to them it's different from relationships with other people. Their relationship isn't really defined, but outsiders might call it "open." Dean just calls it being brothers---listen, they've had their hands all over each other's wounded and dead bodies, what difference does it make if they get into each other's guts for orgasm purposes, too? Especially when Dean strikes out at the bar and Sam is in a giving mood?

Late seasons Sam isn't threatened by Dean's sexual proclivities, because he knows Dean isn't looking to settle down (with anyone else), and as great as they can be together, and as wild and kinky as they can get, Dean's appetite is bigger than Sam's, largely because I also headcanon gray/ace Sam. Though Dean can still get jealous when Sam has the rare outside hookup, because Dean gets a complex about Sam's romantic attachments, and what kind of white picket fence life he's keeping his brother from. Dean can be a little oblivious to the fact that Sam gets a good bit of romantic fulfillment from spending his time with Dean.

Dean doesn't really know about aromanticism for a long time, until things settle down post-Chuck and Sam brings it up. Even after that, Dean doesn't really like being introspective enough to label himself. He is what he is---they are what they are. Mostly Dean just thinks he tried the relationship thing and it wasn't for him. It felt like pretending to be someone else, and he does enough of that while hunting that he needs to be able to be himself at home. When he'd "settled down" with Lisa, it had been easier to fall into the role of family caretaker than it had been to fill the boyfriend/husband role. Even the idea of settling down with another hunter doesn't really tickle his fancy. He's got Sam to spend time with and understand him, and he doesn't have to worry about dating and domesticity---well, except when he worries that maybe Sammy wants more than this...whatever it is they have.

Sam knows all his brother's insecurities, but trying to reassure Dean can toe the line past chick flick moment into smothering, and then Dean gets antsy. It doesn't help matters that Sam's relationship to sexual attraction usually requires an emotional connection, because that's the real threat whenever Sam feels like fucking someone else.

Maybe sometimes Dean fantasizes about a girl or guy he's fucking coming back with him to play house with Sam, like he's taking interviews for Sam's spouse---but beyond the wank fodder of it, Dean's interest in it fizzles out when he tries to imagine it longterm. What are they gonna do---Sam handles the romance while Dean handles the fucking? What if Dean didn't feel as attracted to the new person once they settle in? What if Sam decided that new person was all he needed, and went off to make a new family, sans Dean? What if they're not even worthy of his brother, pretty as they may be?

Besides, Dean doesn't want to have to pretend they're not brothers when they're fucking. And, anyway, who besides Dean can Sam really let go all the way with?

Then they'll get back on the road, driving away from whatever hookups, and go back to being brothers fighting over music and directions and where to stop for dinner...with maybe a pullover for a handjob and a beer. And maybe Sam peeks over at Dean while they're looking at the stars in companionable silence, the smell of the road and the hunt and their spunk between them, and smothers his smile with the lip of the beer bottle before Dean catches on to how Sam finds the whole thing to be damn romantic.

[anonymous-dentist]

I find it amazing how many people are reaction to Pepito and roier relationship, like, expecting him to be the greatest father of all times when he has been dealing with depression for the longest time and now is facing what could only be described as one of the lowest points in his life.

While also forgetting Pepito's own feelings because he clearly wants to get closer to him and worries about him.

It's because they aren't actual Roier fans, because real Roier fans are NOT out here calling him a good father rn. He's fucked up! He needs help! He's doing his best, but he also isn't, and we all know and acknowledge that. Pepito does, too!!

But then we see all these English-POV-Only people taking literally everything qRoier does and going "See? He shouldn't be a father anymore. Let Bad (or Fit or Phil or any English CC) take care of Pepito from now on, they'll know how to do it!!!" And like. That's super fucked up!!!!! Because we had that Otipep bullshit last week that Hispanic fans were understandably really upset about, and then English fans are like "Well actually it was canon and Roier is a terrible dad and his child hates him so Bad should obviously take custody of Pepito because he's perfect!!" like?? That's super weird? Why do people only criticize Roier's parenting rn?

Think about it. Even going back to when Bobby was alive and when even Tilin and Flippa were alive, English fans were discounting Roier's parenting despite Bobby unarguably being the happiest kid on the island up until his dying breath, anyone can tell you that. When Bobby died, everyone said it was Roier's fault. When Tilin died, I saw people saying "Well, this wouldn't have happened if Roier was there instead of Slime. He should've paid more attention." Same for when Flippa died the final time. Some people still don't count Roier as one of Richarlyson's fathers, but they're practically begging for Bad to be one. Or they've been like "Well Roier can't take care of Richarlyson, he'll get him killed just like how he got Bobby killed!" since June

And now we have Roier and Pepito and Otipep's non-canon leaving a sign in English for other parents to see how bad of a parent Roier has to be. qBad saying "Well, Richarlyson is a better parent than Roier is."

But then we have qRoier himself not wanting to be a parent again but taking care of Pepito anyway and giving Pepito cookies when the other islanders could technically take care of Pepito for him. He doesn't trust Pepito at all and he thinks Pepito is evil and a clone or whatever sent to distract him from the Federation, but he's taking care of Pepito anyway, and he's done a pretty okay job at it considering how genuinely depressed and suicidal he is. He's been spending all night every night working on something in secret, but he still went to hang out with Pepito instead of continuing to work on it or instead of sleeping or whatever.

Pepito loves Pepito's dad, and Pepito has been wanting to really connect with him. When ccRoier gets better and feels well enough to get online, I wouldn't be surprised if Pepito stuck close to him to try and cheer him up because! Pepito adores him!! Pepito doesn't want a different father; if Pepito did, Pepito would've hung around Forever or Bagi or Bad all day like Otipep would've (because Otipep hated Roier and wanted a different parent)

But people- and, again, mostly English-POV-onlies, and specifically BBH-POV-Onlies- have decided that Pepito needs to be rescued. Roier is a bad father, Otipep is canon despite several ccs and admins and Quackity himself saying otherwise, Pepito needs someone who can take care of Pepito, and that person? Obviously qBadBoyHalo, who is literally dying in canon. Bad is NOT healthy at all, anyone looking at him can see that.

Not one of Pepito's other parents (who happen to all be Latin American, majority Mexican + Carre the Argentinean.) Not any of the Brazilians or the French. One of the English CCs, who doesn't even speak Pepito's language (because Pepito doesn't like writing in anything but Spanish because! Pepito's parents are all Hispanic! Why would Pepito need to write in English around them?)

So, really, people need to take a look at their attitudes and consider whether or not they think Roier is and always has been a bad father because of his actions or because he's a Mexican man. Same reason why people need to think about this regarding qMariana and Flippa, and qQuackity with Richarlyson.

Because, to me (admittedly as a gringo myself), this all reeks of xenophobia. Why else would a Mexican character and cc and his fans be constantly harassed by overwhelmingly-American fans in defense of a white American man who has not once asked them to do this. Fans demanding Pepito speak in English last night when Pepito was hanging out with Bad and being unhappy when Pepito spoke in Spanish. Fans consistently demonizing the Latin American members and characters and eggs on the server, whether it's the Latin American Hispanics or the Brazilians.

Last night, Bad's fans led a hate campaign against Roier and Cellbit fans on Twitter. They've been pulling this shit for weeks now since Pepito first showed up, and I really think that they need to take a step back and touch some grass and consider their values because this issue goes far deeper than character analysis, I think.

[sockpuppethistorian]

Sex and the City, S1E1 Review from the PoV of an AroAce

Welcome to the show! I've done it. I watched Sex and the City's pilot episode, and I have put my thoughts below. ENJOY.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so it’s starting with this little vignette about… a woman coming to New York from London and immediately meeting a guy to hook up with and getting very invested while they date for (checks notes)(this is a very meta phrase since these are my notes right now) TWO WEEKS. Why do people go on vacation and just decide that they have to hook up with people? When I go on vacation I want to see the sights and do fun things! It seems exhausting to not even be able to take a break from trying to find The One.

Oh, she MOVED from London to New York.

My point still stands.

So for 2 weeks they were having sex and doing all these romantic dates and planned to MEET PARENTS? I just. This English woman hasn’t even joined a gym or met the neighbors yet.

Alright. Now Carrie is talking and using the phrases “The End of Love in Manhattan” and “The Age of Un-Innocence” to describe New York City and the romance scene in the 90s. Okay, besides being dramatic, these are both hilarious. Clearly it’s not the end of love in Manhattan if this entire show is obsessing about love. But age of un-innocence? Yeah I’ll buy that.

This show being about a sex column is so funny. Because like, being aroace obviously sex makes no sense to me. But clearly it also doesn’t make sense to allos. And that’s beautiful.

Now Voiceover Carrie is explaining how love works and random people around New York are complaining about how essentially their entire lives revolve around dating and how everyone’s standards are too high. Let these people rock climb and eat their salads in peace without involving romance, I tell ya!

We’ve moved to the 4 friends (Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda) having a birthday dinner for one of them, and they’re just complaining the whole time about all being single). These people are putting way too much emphasis on needing relationships and men. I have such a hard time understanding why they can’t just live their lives and wait to see when a partner comes more naturally as opposed to obsessing over it like this. Maybe I’m not giving them credit, though, because this level of obsession is like me constantly needing good shows to watch on Netflix. Like, calm down and eat your birthday cake and have fun.

The extremely random drag queens that present the birthday cake is a… confusing touch.

They seem to feel so much embarrassment that they're four women in their 30s who aren’t married. Literally my dream would be an entire friend group of unmarried and uninterested-in-marriage people.

Now I’m confused. Do these people just want sex or do they want relationships and marriage? Even in this conversation between the four of them I’m so confused. They don’t want to be single, but they’re like “boo hoo the sex great but then he wanted to read me his poetry.” ????

Carrie is now having lunch with her friend, and he spots “the loathe of your life.” Real. (This was a description that Carrie’s canonical “gay best friend” used to point out someone she used to hook up with— or are Carrie refers to him, “A mistake I made when I was 26. And 29. And 31.”)

So, this is not a judgment on anybody, especially not real people, but I feel so confused and perplexed by the way logic and rationale goes out the door when it comes to people that one is sexually attracted to. Not that it doesn’t happen in other settings but it just seems like a very scary thing to me. Carrie has decided for some reason that to get back at him for the three times she had sex with him and it didn’t turn into a relationship, she is going to make it a fourth time and also not make it a relationship that way this time she’s the one in charge of… whatever the 90s version of ghosting would be??? I just don’t get it.

And I’m sorry, they scheduled a 3 o’clock sex date?? Why?? I could not possibly be bothered. Carrie and her Mistake simply must have something better to do at 3 o’clock, like getting a snack from a vending machine. Or taking a stroll.

Carrie is now having sex with this man, to prove that women can have sex just to have sex without feelings. And does to this guy what he did to her all the other times before that by leaving without any emotional intimacy. Why????

“I left feeling powerful, potent, and incredibly alive.” (Carrie after she abruptly leaves after having sex at 3pm on a workday) Why?? Like I KNOW that I lack the understanding of this because of the asexuality and whatnot but truly what feels good about that?!?!?

Oh my gosh. Guys. I am meeting the famous Mr. Big. And he’s…

Not… attractive…?????

Also who bumps into someone and immediately starts listing off that they notice that they don’t have a ring and that they’re attractive?? And that for some reason Carrie had an entire pack of condoms loose enough to all spill out when this man very lightly bumped into her. I can’t this feels like if humans were not humans with sex drives but just sex drives that were a little bit human.

I did not expect to have this many thoughts at THIRTEEN MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE.

Carrie is now meeting with her friend who looks like he works in IT in 2024, and said he has to tell her a “shocking secret.” Who wants to guess it’s related to sex?

… … … Guys the shocking secret was that he hasn’t had sex in a year. (Carrie’s response: “I don’t understand that, you’re such a nice guy.”) (Skipper’s response back: “I’m too nice. I’m a romantic. I just have so much feeling.”)

I… I’m actually impressed they’re finding this many different ways to talk about the exact same thing. Is this how allo conversations go??

Skipper says he’s sensitive because he doesn’t objectify women.

Skipper: Most guys, when they meet a girl, the first thing that they see is… you know… Carrie: (confidently as if she is proving some sort of weird point) P*ssy? Skipper: (chuckling like a school girl) Oh God! Hehehehe I hate that word. (Pause for a beat) Don’t you have any friends that you can hook me up with?

?? Y’all, can you name one time the first thing a boy sees in a girl is her genitals, unless he has accidentally logged into PornHub and forgotten that’s what he’s watching and thinks it’s Every Woman He Knows?

And then… HM. Man, this guy moves fast. Embarrassed by the word p*ssy and immediately turns around asking for a hook up. ???

So for some context, the immediate next thing that happens after this guy (SKIPPER) says he hasn’t had sex in a year and then is embarrassed by the word p*ssy, is to tell Carrie that he likes older women (literally this is what he says), and then Carrie decides to set him up with her friend Miranda.

Skipper after she says she’ll set him up with Miranda: “Don’t tell her I’m nice.”

Okay, so the goal here is really just unemotional sex.

WHAT. The. HEEECK.

Voiceover Carrie: “Miranda was gonna hate Skipper. She’d think he was mocking her with his sweet nature and decided he was an a**hole.”

?? Why waste everyone’s time?? Like is the point here for Carrie to get no one any sex or relationships? Like maybe it’s the End of Love in Manhattan because you’re setting up two people on a date that you know will fizzle out.

So now she’s on the phone with her friend Charlotte who has a date with someone that Voiceover Carrie describes as an “un-gettable bachelor.” What does it mean to be an “un-gettable bachelor”? Does this mean he has sex but doesn’t date? Does this mean he dates but won’t have sex? Does this mean he doesn’t usually do any second dates? I can’t even tell what these people want.

Carrie said she had an “afternoon of cheap and easy sex.” I want to psychologically explore this with her. Like did she just like the manipulation part? Did she just need to have an orgasm? What is going on here.

Okee doke, so now they’re in a club, where Carrie says it’s like the bar Cheers where everyone knows your name, except “here they forget it five minutes later.” I can’t tell if this is supposed to entice me or show how sinful everyone is being.

And we have Carrie’s friend Miranda, being very mean to Skipper who in the last scene was annoying me but now I feel bad for him because Miranda is literally interrogating him and trying to prove he’s a pig.

Voiceover Carrie says “I was about to rescue Skipper from an increasingly hopeless situation, when suddenly—“ stop right there, Voiceover Carrie. YOU PUT HIM IN THIS SITUATION. She is playing games. My opinion as of right now is her sex column was too boring so she is stirring the pot, which doesn’t seem to be too difficult since literally nobody knows what they want.

So now Carrie has run into the Mistake from when she was 26, 29, and 31 (and 3pm that afternoon). And he’s like “omg hello! I was pissed at you at 3pm but now I’m relieved that you want the exact same kind of relationship that I want!” Which is… 3pm sex??? And nothing else??

Y’all PLZ.

“Now we can have sex without commitment!” -Mistake (26,29,31,3pm). And now Carrie is disappointed. WHAT DID SHE THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? Allos be playing mind games, for real.

Mistake: “I like this new you, call me.” Carrie: Depression, regret, anger, pretty much all the 5 stages of grief while she mourns her confidence from 3pm.

Dude, maybe this was not a good idea?? Like did you WANT the unattached sex or no??? Because it seems like it was only good sex as long as he was upset afterwards and now that he wasn’t she’s sad too? Did you retroactively decide you didn’t enjoy the 3pm sex which you said earlier made you feel “powerful, potent, and alive”?? Carrie, WHICH IS IT?

Voiceover Carrie: “Did all men secretly want their women promiscuous and emotionally detached?” Probably not, but if you purposely go for Mistake 26,29,31 with the intention of having promiscuous and emotionally detached sex because that’s what he’s given you in the past, that’s what you’re going to get???? Like??? You’re picking the wrong people to try to do things with?? (I was going to say the wrong people to have sex with but I feel like anyone willing to immediately have 3pm sex is in the same category anyway).

HUIRDFJKNIURGJFNDK Her friend Samantha just spotted Mr. Big and called him “The Next Donald Trump.” Oh my goodness. Laughing.

Next Donald Trump just did the cringiest little wave. He also waved when he saw Carrie on the street. Big ick.

And Carrie pretends she hasn’t met him. Why <3

Samantha says Next Donald Trump usually dates models. How do people know so much about these random people.

Now we’re back to Charlotte having some sort of date, and the guy asks her to come “back to” his “place.” Voiceover Carrie tells us she had wanted to play hard to get but doesn’t want the evening to end. Why are the only two options Sex on the First Date or Abruptly End the Date??

Charlotte’s date (Capote Duncan, hilarious name) starts kissing her neck and she asks to go home so he gets her a cab….. but then he GETS INTO THE CAB AND ASKS THE CAB DRIVER TO GO TO THE CLUB THE REST ARE AT AFTER HE DROPS OFF CHARLOTTE AT HOME.

WHAAAT.

Charlotte is like “Why are you going to the club?” And Mr. Capote Duncan with no sense of social etiquette for some reason responds “I understand where you’re coming from, and I totally respect it, but I really need to have sex tonight.”

??? HOW DARE HE?? What is this deal. How are these the eligible bachelors. All of these men are as horny as 12 year old boys who just discovered Playboy. None of them can keep it in their pants for 4 minutes and I don’t get anyones motives here. Clearly this dude Capote does not care about a second date with Charlotte after he just pulled that nonsense.

Back to Samantha, who seems to be the very sensual friend. She is propositioning Mr. Big to have a “private tour” of the downstairs of the club they’re in and Mr. Big turns her down.

And instead of being like, “okay he’s not interested,” Samantha takes this as a massive slight.

AAAAAaaand we’re back to Miranda and Skipper, who Miranda is politely(?) turning down, and then they start making out against a building. I do not get this.

AND NOW SAMANTHA IS IN CAPOTE DUNCANS APARTMENT MAKING OUT WITH HIM. Unbelievable. And he says she can’t stay over so the plan is literally thrust and bust.

Is this how normal sex lives work or is everyone in this show particularly amoral.

Ijdfknigfjkgijkthrgf

Carrie is wandering around outside, and Mr. Big drives up and says “well get in for Christ sakes” and she smiles like that’s a very sweet normal thing to say to someone you haven’t had an actual conversation with.

Carrie says she’s a “sexual anthropologist” to Mr. Big, who asked about her job. He gives me the creeps. I assume his long stares and slow deep voice are supposed to be sexy but it’s just bizarre and unnerving.

Mr. Big tells Carrie she’s “never been in love.” Voiceover Carrie then responds “suddenly I felt the wind knocked out of me.” Literally for what, Carrie.

She gets out of the cab, stops, then does a dramatic turn around to ask, “have you ever been in love?” It’s very film noir music and vibes right now. Mr. Big responds “Abso-f*cking-lutely” and then the window goes up and he pulls away in the literal most dramatic way and we freeze frame on Carrie.

Okay. That’s in. That’s the episode.

Most “ALLO SAY/DO WHAT?” Moments, in no particular order:

3pm sex with Mistake from 26, 29, and 31

Getting into the cab with your date so that you can go to the club to find someone else to have sex with

Carrie no longer liking the 3pm sex because Mistake liked it too

Skipper liking older women and being upset he hasn’t had sex in a year but giggling at the word p*ssy

Carrie getting into the cab with a strange man she literally barely knows because she thinks he’s “hot”

2.75/5 I think is my ranking. Too much sex.

[justanotherhh]

What if Striker got worse? What if he successfully assassinated someone. What if he does kill the rich? What if he realised his potential as an allophobic aspec who kills people? What if he got more fucked up, not less? I think it would be very fun

HEHEHEHEHEEHEEEE ALRIGHT REDEMPTION STRIKER HAS HAD HIS TURN LET'S GET INTO MY NO GOOD MEAN-SPIRITED "I HATE THESE ALLOS" SON!!!

when you think about it, Striker's not done anything soooo bad yet, not that he hasn't tried. he just keeps getting Foiled by that... foil, Blitzo! I think he deserves a win!

Ooh we need a more current death tragedy on this fucking show, I like a good tragedy, personally, and I think we're overdue another one. enough with the past fucking with us, what about new wounds? (this so won't happen shhhhh let me dream)

finale is all the royals gathered to determine Stolas' fate and Striker blows up the building can you imagine????? that's not even tragic, that's kind of based

Like, crucially, Striker still isn't wrong about a lot of his opinions, these royals have been fucking around with people for far too long!

Striker's growth is eventually no longer being thrown by people making sexual comments, now it just makes him angrier/more powerful. he is Fueled By Disgust!

allophobic Striker is the funniest thing, because it's practically canon, this man is done with your fucking romantic relationships getting in the way of the class war, with your sexual commentary, with all of it, he has decided simply to kill!

Striker who has no more ideals, he's gone full "burn it all down because why not at this point"

this is giving serial killer, and listen, we can debate "problematic representation" (a term that often loses meaning) until the cows come home, but we're two aspecs talking fantasy fulfillment, I think aspec characters should be allowed to kill because they're allophobic, I think it's really really funny as concept

I also think "more fucked up Striker" works thematically where we're at at the moment (to be more "what's going on in the show" for a second), we left him at a bleak place, whatever he does when he next appears I want it to be oh so fucked up

also, my boy deserves to do some fucked up shit simply As A Treat. he has dealt with this nonsense every episode he's in, can't a man threaten, and torture, and kill in peace these days? why is everyone so g-ddamn horny about it??? sometimes maiming doesn't have sexual subtext, it's just good ol' honest maiming!!!!!!!!!!

Striker doesn't need romantic fulfillment or the power of friendship, he just needs to stab someone, that's really all I want for him. A good, clean bit of violence, an episode where he wins and everyone else loses

We'll call it the "love loses" episode

the "I'm aroace so you can imagine how dangerous I am. I don't know how to marry or fuck, I only know how to kill" meme

TL;DR: SUPPORT STRIKER'S WRONGS!

[aortaobservatory]

im VERY interested to hear your thoughts on the blood aspect... its one that i think is taken very much at face value, and is somewhat limited in the traits often ascribed to it (responsibility, heritage, friendship).

Though we have canonical explanations for the Aspects, you're correct in that they often get reduced down to face-value. It was a problem I encountered myself in my early analyses; human beings are multi-faceted, and thus, so are these aspects which are meant to represent many concepts within humanity as a whole. That was something I had to learn to ascribe to my classpect analyses.

My analyses now use four keywords I whittled down from the canonical descriptions as well as the wider concept I understood it to convey. This is an attempt to portray these aspects as multi-faceted as opposed to what is commonly done in flattening them down into only one concept. (IE, "Blood = Friendships, Breath = Independent, Light = Smart, Mind = Logic, Hope = Religious, Rage = Anger", and so on. These words aren't necessarily wrong, but they're definitely not right either, and they definitely don't fit everyone within those aspects. They do not encapsulate the full scope of the aspect as a whole, which means they do not encapsulate the full scope of whatever classpect they are applied to, which then provides a flat, confusing, or biased classpect analysis.)

From The Extended Zodiac, I pulled these keywords from the Blood Aspect description. These would be the "canon" traits; they are what I adhere to when analyzing, but it should also be understood that this concept encompasses much more to do with than these keywords. Its "vibe", if you will, is much more than what is written.

TEZ Blood Keywords: Bonds, trust, camaraderie, groups, inspirational, relationships, friends and allies, charismatic, uplifting, magnetic, (sullen, unkind, set-in-their-ways)

None of the above traits are inherently good or inherently bad. The Blood Aspect, like all the other aspects, is inherently neutral; it is neither good nor bad, but merely a representation of a concept we experience as human beings.

I will say that responsibility is definitely a core trait of the Blood Aspect, but the aspect should not just be limited to that trait and its synonyms. Responsibilities, promises, relationships, camaraderie, community, bonds, connections; these things are what Blood is about. The ties that bind and the blood of the covenant are strong themes for the Blood Aspect.

I would personally say that Blood is what drives humanity, community, and many cultures. That is not to then say that Breath, its inverse, has no place in humanity either; too much of anything is never a good thing, and these aspects have inverses to balance them out accordingly. This is also part of why I so strongly believe inverse classpecting is important to consider as well, as you must be aware of how you should balance to be able to balance, but I digress.

Blood does not just value the relationships they have. They can also be the core of their friend groups, the thing keeping their family members together or in touch, so on and so forth. I believe that particular concept is termed "Unity". They bring people together, which is very powerful.

This is why Karkat, as a Knight of Blood (Active Utilizer), was able to bring twelve extremely different and difficult people (including himself) together long enough to succeed at an extremely convoluted, long game session. Kankri on the other hand, as a Seer of Blood (Passive Knower), was not experienced in his aspect and wasn't able to bring his friend group together a long while before they decided to scratch, but that did not mean he wasn't trying; as inane as Kankri's rants were, they were founded from his understanding of Blood as someone who only understood it from the point of view of the Breath aspect. Had Kankri reached godtier as a Seer of Blood and fully properly understood the Blood aspect, I believe he could have succeeded in the same fashion Karkat was able to.

This got quite long, my apologies. I did not think I would have this much to say! I hope it was intriguing for you.