#and as it gets worse it costs more to fix and I can't get on disability without paying for a lawyer with money I literally do not have
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tw: suicidal ideation, depression
So for me, suicidality goes like this.
Sometimes I'm walking through the house, and it's a bit of a mess, and I don't like that, and a gremlin jumps in front of me with his jazz hands out and screeches "LOOK AT THIS! THOSE DISHES ARE TWO DAYS OLD! YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF ABOUT IT." and I quirk an eyebrow at it, and sigh "What the hell, you jackass, get out of my house." And it says "DANG," and it goes. Like having a fruitfly hovering in my face. I can't swat it to death, but it is only annoying, and it is driven off by the flick of my fingers.
But some days it's more like, I am tired, and I am in physical pain, and I am falling into despair, and I do not see what my next step is to handle any of *this* and 'this' is 'everything,' and a sweetly-scented presence comes up gracefully past my peripheral and loops her arms about me, and rests her silky head on my shoulder, and tilts her rosy lips to my ear, and in a quiet voice, she murmurs
"knife."
And she's holding me so carefully that there's no struggle. And she's soft and smells like lilac, and her voice is so gentle. "it wouldn't be more than five minutes. it would hurt, of course, but everything hurts, and then it would *stop.* all of it would stop."
And the thing is, absolutely nothing that she tells me is a lie. She learned a long time ago that lying to me puts me on defense, so now she only says things that are true. I am in pain. It would hurt for a little bit, it would hurt a lot, but then nothing would hurt ever again.
But she also doesn't tell a single comprehensive truth.
Because it *would* stop hurting--me. It would magnify my pain and cast it out in all directions, though. It would make my existence into a pipe bomb in the arms of every person who has ever so much as liked me. It would render me, worse than useless, actively dangerous to those close to me. It would make me into a sucking open wound in the chest of everyone I love.
Too high a cost.
I've been suicidal on and off since I was nine. I know by now that it's a chemical thing that my body is doing to itself. I have tools, occasionally weapons, to use to get it out past arm's length, sometimes an acre or two distant from me. Never gone. Always loping back and forth, muzzle low and snuffling, pacing the fence.
So when she comes to me, floral and kind, I can unwind her arms from my waist and push her away three feet or so. And then I can go bake something, or garden, or do pushups, or go for a walk, or listen to loud or quiet music, or play a game, or read a book, or take a shower (cold or hot) or start a craft, or clean up a mess, or make a mess. And, now in in other shapes, she grows more gauzy and distant. And then I can go fix the hole in the fence, maybe.
There are a lot of holes in the fence today. I expect there will be for some time. It's hard. My pulse has been up thirty or forty bpm since Tuesday night at ten, and I tire easily. The effort needed is much greater than usual. But I know it needs to be done.
I don't know what to do from here but wash the dishes. But at least I can wash the dishes. The other things will make themselves known to me in time.
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I literally feel like I'm dying and I need to see a doctor, but I can't worry about that right now because
My bank account is literally in the negatives because I'm too disabled to work and can't make money but I can't worry about that right now because
I'm months overdue on getting my car new tags, but it won't even start if I could drive it so I need to jump the battery and get gas which I don't have money for, but I can't worry about that right now because
People are still expecting me to be social across numerous friend groups and it's pulling me in so many directions that I'm stretched so thin I'm running on no social battery for the last month, but I can't worry about that right now because
I still need to actually clean the house, do the dishes, clean the cat litter boxes, vacuum, and do my laundry... but I can't worry about that right now because
I still need to actually set up my new desk so I can stream since I haven't been able to do that for weeks and streaming is unfortunately my only source of income for how little I make every month, but I can't worry about that right now because
My partner is going through a really hard time right now and I need to be there for her and do what I can to make sure she's okay.
#People like me don't make it man. We just don't.#I'm hyper dependent on others to the point where I'd be homeless without my partner#I'm stressed day in and day out I get messages from people who want me to play games or hang out or just chat and I can't even#find the time to respond because I have 12 other things I need to be doing and those 12 other things aren't getting done because#every single thing I need to do is preventing me from doing something else and at the end of it all my health is getting worse and worse#and as it gets worse it costs more to fix and I can't get on disability without paying for a lawyer with money I literally do not have#and I'm losing it I'm literally going insane I'm pissed off because I see people blame the country I live in or the circumstances I'm in#and they act like they can't do anything and it'd be wrong of me to ask them for help#and I know when I die (and at this point it won't be long) they're going to act like this is the fault of america or some shit#they're not going to think about how they could have helped#and it sucks because some of my friends DO try to help they really do and I love them for it but it's so hard for me to see people#who don't make much money and who are also in tough situations throwing what they can at me to help me when I know people who have so much#they spend it frivolously on luxuries and I want to strangle them but then I'm not owed anything so it's not my place to tell them how#to spend their money or live their life.#and I'm tired man I'm so fucking tired I can't even stay awake for a few hours before I am too exhausted to sit upright anymore#I pass out and find myself without energy before I've even done anything and I'm only 29.
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i've found myself in a bad situation. the tl;dr is i have to move, but i can't afford to. i'm a disabled student and just do not have the funds required to rent a truck, hire movers, and cover deposits. so, i'm offering various services on my kofi, but if you don't need those you can also donate there or via paypal. my cashapp and venmo are both erinshelley91 if you'd like to donate on those platforms (i couldn't figure out how to link to those)
if you can't afford to commission me or to donate, reblogging this post and sharing my twitter thread is a free way to help me out and is so appreciated!
more context and stuff under the cut, i just don't want to make a long post on ppl's dashboards
my landlord has been cheating on his husband, and their relationship is rocky. he also has a massive spending addiction according to his husband. his spending addiction is making him not want to perform the actual duties of a landlord, because investment costs are cutting into his shopping spree funds
ex, he is illegally not fixing a leak in the shower of the upstairs tenants, and claims the costs are more than their rent. he told them to "figure it out, or get the fuck out." (verbatim.) he also told me it would be cheaper for him to not have tenants at all bc his utility bills would be smaller. he then left it to ME to inform another tenant to leave (then gaslit me and denied it in front of his husband when his husband questioned it)
in his words, we have 90 days to leave. i am disabled and a full time student and have been living on my fafsa returns, and the last job i had made one of my disabilities worse to the point i've had intensive physical therapy (several hours several times a week) and am likely going to have to undergo surgery
i'm also mi/nd, so even on a good day i'm not very well equipped to handle things, and the recent stress has also caused my therapist to see me several times a week in lieu of institutionalization
all that said, i'm not in a good spot physically or mentally, hence the best i can do right now is offer some of my skills on kofi
i'm currently working with my state's vocational rehab to try and find a suitable job until i can get my degree, but even then i simply would not be able to afford the costs of a sudden move in the timeframe i've got to work with
UPDATE MARCH 25, 2024: i want to invest in a scooter to do gig work like doordash. this will let me work at my own pace, and earn towards the move myself, then i'll have some more independence to continue doing that after as well
they require 50cc or under, which means i could get a scooter for under $1,000. i'd also need to cover fees to renew my license (i let it lapse since i haven't had a vehicle), get a helmet, and get insurance (roughly $100 annually)
i also made some amazon wishlists for folks who would like to help but prefer to know exactly where their money's going. i have one for housewarming stuff here, and one for necessities here
update as of april 5: my cat peed on my bed, and since it's a memory foam mattress it soaked all the way through and ruined it
update as of april 7: she did it again. this time there's blood in it
update as of april 14: i still haven't been able to take her to the vet, but i've been trying to do at home remedies
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ID: Bluesky post by Ro Salarian (@RoSalarian.bsky.social):
I often wonder if abusive people are drawn to the arts, or if a certain amount of notoriety just makes people turn to shit. I am involved in a lot of different art scenes, and every single one has a whisper network about some big names who nobody feels they can address directly.
Kelly Barnhill (@KellyBarnhill.bsky.social) quotes this on July 10, 2024 at 6:47pm EST and responds:
Sexual predation is clearly not limited to the arts, and so-called "whisper networks" exist in every profession. And ultimately these networks always, always fail. They don't reach the most vulnerable and they don't ever remove the offender or prevent future harm. end ID.
At the source, the thread continues:
When I was growing up, I had a friend whose house had a bad stair - a nail sticking up on one side, and on the other side if you stepped wrong, the whole tread could flip up and send you flying backwards. We had to be told to avoid that stair. It was dangerous. We couldn't forget.
The trouble was, it looked like every other stair. Sometimes we did get hurt. This went on for years. Finally, one of the other parents in the neighborhood was like THE CHILDREN ARE GETTING INJURED and the whole "rule" of avoidance, of letting people know, was thrown out. They fixed the stair.
Now, this was dumb, of course. Who just has a stair that looks like every other stair but is boobytrapped in this bonkers way? Well, lots of people, as it turned out. And this wasn't so bad, as injuries go - a skinned knee or the occasional puncture wound.
Imagine if they had a stair that was, say, secretly filled with bees. Or poisoned. Or a one-way portal to one of the various realms of Hell. And it was there, like any other stair, looking benign. Maybe it was even fancied up - attracted the eye and tickled the fancy. A rock star stair. Well.
It's problematic, is my point. Leaving a danger in plain view is problematic. Simply relying on a network of people warning people and washing our hands of the whole affair is problematic. And worse, it abdicates responsibility. This is not how grown-ups should behave.
Part of the problem stems from the Myth of Male Genius - organizations twist themselves in knots to protect their access to whatever Male Genius they've tied their careers to, be they philosophers or physicists, conductors or or inventors, teachers or hotshot attorneys. We've all experienced this.
And while it's [notallmen] or [notonlymen] or whatever tagline you want to throw at me - yes, I know, and yes, I agree, and yes I'm certain that toxic and predatory women exist and have also harmed but I honestly can't think of any at the moment - it all stems from a central problematic fallacy:
Here's a toxic fallacy that I'd like to see dismantled: that genius is rare. That it must be protected at all costs. That it must be allowed to misbehave because the misbehavior is tied to genius in some fundamental way that none of us can understand because we are not geniuses. WRONG.
For every "rockstar author" or "rockstar artist" or "rockstar scientist" or "rockstar academic" there are a thousand others who are just as talented, just as transformative, just as consequential. And by ascribing godlike abilities to those who are more ordinary than we'd like to admit, we allow the person on that pedestal to become unglued from consequence and unhooked from the ties that are supposed to bind us to one another. This is a moral injury and an injury of empathy as well. So it's bad for the "rockstar". And holy hell is it bad for every person they injure. And worse, what about the "genius" of the victims? What about the dreams deferred and the paths upended because the world they've entered has decided to make itself unacceptably dangerous, unacceptably callous. A busted stair in the middle of the ascent in some young woman's career, left for no reason.
Here's what I know: genius isn't godlike or magical or even that rare. Genius is cultivated, nurtured, supported, delighted in. It happens in the context of a myriad of tiny boosts, too numerous to count and too subtle to name. It is as common as breath, and just as precious.
The reason why predatory men are lauded, protected, demurred to, is because we've told a story to ourselves that their genius is special, and have allowed ourselves to believe that the only way to become special ourselves is to bathe in its light, regardless of consequence.
Let's be done with that story. Cultivate more lights. Be the light.
And also? Let's fix that fucking stair, shall we?
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I will always be annoyed as a very pro-welfare person that my "camp" is not going to come around to Social Security being Bad, Actually. It is so antiquated! Most crucially, it probably isn't even welfare - the best analyses in my opinion generally view it as neutral, maybe mildly progressive, and maybe even mildly regressive. Maybe your own paper thinks it is more on the progressive side? But it is ~5% of GDP! I do not have to "debate the progressivity" of food stamps, they are obviously insanely redistributive; the opportunity cost of Social Security is huge in this regard because you do in fact have a limited tax budget to play with.
More importantly to me, it is a redistribution from the young to the old in a society where that is becoming quite costly. The "forces of social reproduction", from work to innovation to families, are pretty universally created by the non-retired, and while most people are Doing Fine that doesn't mean we aren't creating unnecessary frictions for all of that. Right now we would all socially be better off "front-shifting" more spending, giving the ~30 year olds more income and the ~70 year olds less - 70 year olds in America are quite rich, they really don't need it.
Meanwhile the reasons for the program have vanished. I get why it was a decent idea in the 1930's - it is an insurance program built around the idea that the elderly can't "bounce back" from economic setbacks since they have a limited ability to work. In a world where bank runs junking someone's savings were common this makes sense. And in a world of fertility rates hitting 4.0+ targets it was easily affordable. But nowadays the idea that the median someone "cannot save for retirement" is very silly, they absolutely can safely and reliably - banks are stable and insured, government bond programs exist, and so on.
Of course, there are those who are too poor to save, which you can address with, like, actual welfare? I won't go down the UBI rabbit hole but it is very silly to fix the problem of elderly poverty with a universal forced savings plan that pays out to people based on their past income. Just give poor people money and cut out all the middleman bullshit.
Which is the rub of course - Social Security works politically precisely because it isn't welfare, it is something "everyone" gets. Which, again as a big UBI proponent, I get, it is how politics works. But that doesn't change the fact that Social Security probably makes most people on net worse off despite how much they defend it, and limits the fiscal capacity for better alternatives. From an ideological lens it isn't a left program, and shouldn't be treated as such. (And it isn't a right program either, but in the US rightwing ideology is pretty incoherent so who knows)
But in the end winning elections is the actual determinant of policy, so may the Democrats continue to worship it - and hopefully get the courage to slip some changes in that people don't notice somewhere down the line.
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A Hell Of A Promotion - Manjiro 'Mikey' Sano (Tokyo Revengers)
When you bump into the big boss, his attitude annoys you. Until he offers you a promotion, you can't turn it down. What exactly did you sign up for? Manjiro 'Mikey' Sano x Female Reader (SMUT) Bonten timeline.
*SMUT, Fingering, Oral, Blow Jobs, Degrading Names, Office Sex*
Word Count: 4603
It had been a long day and it was only 1 pm. You were walking down the sidewalk not looking where you were going, annoyed that your lunch break had been cut short. When you didn’t notice the dislodged slab until it was too late and you tripped. The coffee in your hand flies out in front of you, and your eyes widen in shock as it spills down the suit of the man directly in front of you.
This wasn’t any ordinary man, no, you recognised the white hair and menacing black eyes anywhere.
‘What. The. Fuck!,’ he growls, his voice deep.
You had just spilt coffee on the dangerous boss of Bonten Manjiro Sano.
‘I’m…so…sorry…’ you stutter, knowing your fate was sealed.
He looks at you with a glare that could cut through steel. His eyes narrow as he takes in your appearance, from your now dishevelled hair to your slightly coffee-stained blouse. He steps closer, invading your personal space as he towers over you.
‘You clumsy little fool. Do you have any idea how much this suit cost? It's worth more than anything you own, I bet. And now its ruined because of your carelessness,’ he grabs your chin roughly, forcing you to look up at him, ‘what are you going to do about it, hmmm?’
His grip tightens slightly as he waits for your response, clearly expecting more than a simple apology. There’s a dangerous glint in his eyes, a predatory gleam that sends shivers down your spine, even as your heart pounds in your chest.
‘Err let me get it cleaned for you,’ you offer, voice shaking.
He scoffs, releasing your chin and steps back. His haze rakes over you dismissively, ‘cleaned? Are you kidding me? This suit is beyond repair. The stain is too deep and the fabric is delicate. No amount of ‘cleaning’ will fix it.’
He reaches into his suit pocket and the breath catches in your throat thinking he’d pull out a gun and shoot you, but instead, he pulls out a business card and extends it towards you with a knowing smirk.
‘Here. Take this. It’s the number of my tailor. But don’t expect any favours, you owe me big for this.’
Mikey turns on his heel. Over his shoulder he adds, ‘And maybe next time, watch where you’re going before you ruin someone else's day.’
‘You don’t have to be such a jerk,’ you mutter.
He stops abruptly, whirling around to face you once more. His expression darkens as he stalks towards you, all the colour leaving your face realising you’d fucked up royally. He leans in close, his breath hot against your ear as he speaks in a low menacing growl.
‘A jerk? Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea. I’ve been called worse things than that,’ his hand shoots out, gripping your wrist tightly as he yanks you flush against his body. You can feel the hard planes of his muscles through his shirt, the heat radiating off him in waves when you expect him to be cold.
‘But let me tell you something. When someone spills their drink on me, they damn well better show some respect. And right now, you’re not nearly showing me enough.’
You can’t help but look away from his intense eyes, not aware of your thighs clenching involuntarily. But Mikey notices your reaction and smirks wider, pleased by your obvious attraction despite your attitude.
‘Looks like someone is enjoying the view,’ he chuckles darkly, the sound sending another shiver down your spine, ‘well go ahead and indulge. I won’t judge…much…’
He leans in again, his warm breath ghosting your ear as he murmurs, ‘In fact, why don’t we take this somewhere more private? My office isn’t too far away, we can discuss repayment options for my suit…and perhaps explore other ways you could make amends.’
He tilts his head to the side waiting for a response. You usually weren’t this daring, but the air crackles with tension, heavy with unspoken possibilities.
You bite your lip, ‘I know where the office is, do you not bother to learn the faces and names of those beneath you? I’m the secretary at the main desk.’
He raises an eyebrow. A slow, wicked grin spreads across his face as understanding dawns, ‘The secretary, huh? Well, well, well. How delightfully...convenient.’
He takes a step closer, backing you up against the nearest wall. His hands come to rest on either side of your head, caging you in as he looms over you.
‘I must admit, I hadn't pegged you for the type to play hard to get. But I suppose that's part of your charm,’ his lips grazing the shell of your ear as he whispers, ‘Tell me, little secretary...are you going to make me work extra hard to get what I want from you? Or will you give in easily, like the good little toy you seem to be?’
You shuffle nervously on the spot, knowing there is no way out of your current situation other than to comply, ‘I guess I did ruin your suit, and technically you are my boss and I do like my job…’
His eyes light up with a predatory gleam at your words, a knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. He leans in closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he murmurs in a low, seductive tone, ‘Is that so? Well then, I think we can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement,’ One hand slides down your side, coming to rest on your hip possessively, ‘You'll help me out of this predicament...and I'll ensure your position remains secure. Everyone wins.’
He nips at your earlobe teasingly before pulling back slightly, his gaze boring into yours with an intensity that steals your breath, ‘So what do you say, my dear secretary? Ready to seal the deal?’
You nod your head and utter a single word, ‘Yes.’
A triumphant grin splits his face as he hears your agreement. Without wasting another second, he grabs your hand and starts leading you swiftly down the street towards the towering skyscraper housing his company headquarters.
‘Excellent choice. You won't regret it, I promise.’ His voice drips with sensual promise as he guides you inside the lobby and towards the elevator bank. Once the doors slide closed behind you, trapping you alone together in the small space, he pins you against the wall with his body, one hand sliding up to cup your cheek while the other grips your hip firmly.
‘Now then, where were we? Ah yes...discussing terms,’ He leans in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that leaves you breathless and wanting more. As the elevator pings its arrival at the top floor, he breaks away with a smirk.
You pout, ��how have you not noticed me? My desk is the first thing you see when you walk out of the elevator.’
Mikey chuckles low in his throat, the sound vibrating against your lips as he holds you close, ‘Perhaps I've been too focused on running the empire to pay attention to every little detail...like the woman who's been sitting right under my nose all along.’
He presses a lingering kiss to your forehead, his hand trailing down to weave into your hair as he gazes into your eyes with a newfound appreciation, ‘But now that I have, I intend to make the most of it.’
The elevator doors open, revealing the sleek, modern interior of his office. With a final squeeze, Kenny releases you and steps back, gesturing grandly for you to precede him inside, ‘After you, my dear secretary. Let's discuss those...repayment terms in private.’
You notice that his assistant isn’t at her desk and frown, ‘Where’s Mia, she likes good gossip.’
He laughs, a rich, velvety sound that sends a shiver down your spine, ‘Ah, poor Mia. She's been transferred. Thought it would be good for her to spread her wings, so to speak,’ he winks suggestively, though you weren’t sure if she was dead or alive.
‘Besides, I prefer my interactions with you to be...unfiltered,’ he steps closer, his presence dominating the space between you, ‘Now, about that repayment…’
He closes the distance, claiming your mouth in a hungry kiss that leaves you gasping for air. When he finally pulls back, his eyes burn with a fierce, carnal hunger, ‘I believe a demonstration of your dedication would be in order. On my desk. Now.’
He takes your hand, guiding it to the bulge straining against his trousers, ‘Feel that, sweetheart? That's what happens when a man gets excited. And trust me, you're the cause of it,’ he grins wickedly, ‘Now, are you going to continue stalling, or are you ready to prove your worth?’
Without waiting for a response, he spins you around and pushes you onto his desk, the cool surface a stark contrast to the heat of his body as he looms over you, ‘Let's start with a little exploration, shall we?’ His hands roam over your curves, mapping out the contours of your body with a possessive touch.
You gasp against each touch, ‘How exactly is this repayment?’
Mikey leans in, his hot breath fanning over your ear as he speaks in a low, husky tone, ‘This, my dear, is merely the beginning. A taste of what's to come,’ His hands slide lower, deftly unbuttoning your blouse and slipping inside to caress the soft skin beneath,
‘Consider this an investment in your future. By satisfying my desires, you're securing your place here...and maybe even earning a promotion,’ he laughs, nipping at your earlobe, ‘Of course, there may be certain...tasks assigned to you in exchange for your loyalty.’
He pushes your blouse off your shoulders, letting it pool on the floor. His fingers dance across the lace of your bra, toying with the delicate fabric, ‘Now, let's see what other secrets you're hiding under that prim and proper exterior.’
‘What kind of promotion, I’m not complaining sir, I’m just a little confused,’ you say honestly.
He smiles, a cold, calculating expression that belies the heat simmering in his eyes, ‘Oh, but you should be proud. Proud to serve such a powerful man as myself,’ he trails a finger down your cleavage, tracing the curve of your breasts, ‘As for your promotion...let's just say you'll have access to more...exclusive areas of the company. Areas where only a select few are privy to the inner workings,’ his hand slips beneath your bra, palming your breast with a firm grasp, ‘You'll be handling sensitive information, making crucial decisions that could shape the future of our empire,’ he
leans in, his lips brushing against your neck as he whispers, ‘And of course, there will be certain...personal duties required of you. Ones that demand your complete devotion and obedience.’
You gasp loudly and arch your back against his touch, ‘you mean the other executives? I heard a rumour that you’re all psychopaths.’
Mikey laughs, a deep, mocking sound that echoes through the room, ‘Psychopaths, hmm? Well, perhaps that's a bit dramatic. We're simply men who understand the true nature of power and aren't afraid to wield it.’ His hand slides down your stomach, fingers dipping below the waistband of your skirt.
‘And yes, you'll be working closely with them. They'll expect the same level of...dedication from you that I do,’ he grinds his hips against yours, the evidence of his arousal pressing insistently against your thigh, ‘But don't worry, I'll be keeping a close eye on you. Ensuring you meet their expectations.’
He pulls back slightly, his gaze intense as he studies your reaction, ‘Now, are you prepared to take on these new responsibilities? To become an integral part of our inner circle?’
Through the warm haze enveloping your body you manage to get out one last bit of attitude, ‘Do I get a pay rise, sir?’
Mikey grunts, amused by your boldness, ‘A pay rise? My, my, aren't you a greedy little thing?’ he Slides his hand further down, cupping your mound possessively, ‘But I suppose if you perform well enough, I might consider sweetening the deal.’
He presses two fingers against your clothed sex, rubbing slow circles that send jolts of pleasure through your core, ‘However, I expect complete discretion. No one can know about our arrangement. Your loyalty belongs solely to me.’
You hum, ‘So will I be servicing the other executives sexually or simply running tasks?’
He smirks, his fingers still teasing your sensitive flesh, ‘Ah, the naivety is endearing. In this world, lines blur easily. Your services will be demanded by all of us, in whatever form we desire,’ he leans in, his breath hot against your ear as he murmurs, ‘You'll learn to adapt, to satisfy each of our unique tastes.’
He pinches your clit gently, sending a spark of pleasure-pain through you, ‘As for me...well, let's just say I have very specific needs. Needs that require constant attention and gratification,’ he grinds his erection against you harder, the friction sending a wave of heat through your veins, ‘You'll be servicing me frequently. Very frequently indeed.’
You nod feverishly, ‘I look forward to finding out your specific needs sir.’
Mijey hums, pleased by your eagerness, ‘Good girl. I have a feeling you'll fit in nicely here,’ he slips a finger beneath the elastic of your panties, delving into your slick folds, ‘Now, let's explore these needs of mine, shall we?’
He thumbs your clit in time with the thrust of his finger, pumping in and out of your hole, ‘I want you dripping wet for me at all times. Ready to fulfil my desires on a moment's notice,’ he curves his finger to stroke your G-spot, applying just the right pressure to make your toes curl, ‘Can you handle that? Being my plaything, always available to sate my cravings?’
You grip the front of his shirt and throw your head back panting, ‘I can try.’
He groans approvingly, his need spiking at your eager response, ‘That's it. Show me how much you want this,’ his fingers move faster, plunging deeper as he pinches your clit harder, drawing a sharp cry from your lips.
‘I'll teach you to crave my touch as much as I crave yours. To beg for it, plead for release,’ he captures your mouth in a brutal kiss, tongue invading, claiming every inch as his own, ‘You'll be addicted to me, body and soul. And I'll make sure you never forget whose cock is filling you, whose fingers are stroking your pussy.’
He breaks the kiss, panting heavily as he stares down at you with a predatory gleam in his eyes, ‘Now, let's see how quickly you can learn to please me. Strip for me, Slowly and get on your knees.’
You get off the desk, your legs feeling like jelly, but do as you’re told, removing each item one by one until you’re down to your birthday suit. This whole situation wasn’t normal, but there was no denying how much you were enjoying this. You get down on your knees and chew your lip keeping your head bowed, ‘I’ve never actually sucked anyone off before sir, I’ve only seen it in videos.’
He eyes you hungrily, drinking in the sight of your naked form, ‘Don't worry about doing it 'right' there's no script, no rules here. Just follow your instincts, and surrender to the moment.’
He steps closer, towering over you as you kneel on the plush carpet, ‘Look at me, keep eye contact,’ he reaches down, wrapping a hand around your throat in a gentle yet assertive grip, ‘Breathe for me. In and out, nice and slow.’
He leans in, his breath ghosting over your cheek as he whispers, ‘You're so fucking beautiful like this. A pretty little toy, just begging to be played with,’ he squeezes your throat slightly, watching your pulse flutter, ‘Now, open your mouth. Wide.’
He guides your trembling hands to his belt buckle, helping you undo it with impatient fingers. Steps out of his pants, freeing his massive erection. It throbs in the cool air, already leaking precum, ‘See what you do to me? How hard you make me?’ he wraps a hand around the base, giving himself a few strokes.
‘Now, put that pretty mouth to use. Suck my cock like you mean it,’ he tangles his fingers in your hair, guiding you closer until the head of his dick brushes your lips, ‘Take it deep, choke on it if you can.’
You lick the precum before taking him slowly into your mouth, not used to being filled this way.
Mikey groans as your warm mouth envelops him, head falling back in bliss, ‘Fuck, that's it. Just like that,’ his hands tighten in your hair, holding you steady as he starts to rock his hips, pushing himself deeper into your throat.
‘Take it all, baby. Relax your jaw, breathe through your nose,’ he pumps faster, relishing the way your throat constricts around him, ‘Goddamn, you were made for this. Made to choke on my cock.’
He looks down at you, eyes dark with lust, ‘You love this, don't you? Love being used, degraded, treated like a set of holes for me to fuck,’ he yanks your head back suddenly, saliva connecting your lips to his dick.
‘Tell me how much you love it, Beg for more,’ he demands.
You look up with tear-filled eyes, ‘I love it…I need more…please use me…I’m nothing without you using me.’
He smirks wickedly, loving the desperation in your voice, ‘Nothing, huh? Just a set of holes for me to ruin?’ He shoves his cock back into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat harshly, ‘Then take it, whore. Take every fucking inch.’
He holds your head still, slamming into you relentlessly, grunting with each thrust, ‘Such a good little cocksucker. Milk me dry with that slutty mouth,’ he angles his hips, grinding against your face, smearing precum across your cheeks.
‘Fuck, I'm getting close. Swallow it all, every last drop,’ he ruts into you wildly, chasing his impending orgasm, ‘Here it comes, bitch. Fuck!’ he bursts down your throat with a guttural moan, flooding your mouth with his seed.
You try your best to swallow every last drop and continue sucking slower waiting for him to come down from his high. He exhales shakily, chest heaving, ‘now you clean me up,’ he gently pulls out of your mouth, letting his cock slip from between your lips with a pop, ‘use your tongue and lap up every drop you left.’
He watches intently as you obediently start cleaning him, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips, ‘That's it, be thorough. Make sure you get every bit of my essence off your face.’
He steps back, allowing you to stand and finish the task.
‘Once you're done, get on the desk. Spread your legs for me and present yourself like a good little slut,’ he walks away and around his desk to take his seat, leaning back in his chair as he waits for you to comply.
You quickly clean yourself and get up with shaky legs, using the desk behind you as some support. Of course, Mikey wasn’t going to help you. You walk around the desk and manage to sit on it directly in front of where he sits, you spread your thighs and use your hands to support yourself. Mikey rolls the chair forward and runs a finger down your inner thigh causing your legs to tremble, ‘beautiful’ he murmurs.
He dips his head, dragging his tongue across your slit teasingly, ‘I’m going to feast on your sweet cunt.’
He laps at your folds, circling your clit with the tip of his tongue, ‘Let me hear those pretty moans as I devour your pussy,’ he seals his lips around your clit, sucking hard as he slides two fingers inside you.
‘Ahhh... oh god... yessss... please don't stop…’ you arch your back, pushing your hips against his face as he eats you out intensely. Your hand's fist in the desk as pleasure crashes through you, ‘More...Mikey...please...I'm so close…’
He growls against your slick flesh, the vibrations sending shockwaves through you, ‘Come for me then. Drench me in your juices as I finger-fuck this greedy cunt,’ he pumps faster, curling his digits to hit your G-spot with ruthless precision.
‘Shout louder, let everyone hear what a shameless slut you are for me,’ he scissors his fingers, stretching you deliciously as he continues his assault on your sensitive bud, ‘Come on, give it to me. Scream my name as you fall apart,’ He nips at your clit sharply, sending you hurtling towards oblivion, ‘Now, Cum NOW!’
‘AHHHH!!! MIKEY!!!! OH MY GODDD!!!’ Your entire body convulses as an earth-shattering orgasm rips through you. Your pussy clamps down on his fingers as you squirt all over his hand and face. You collapse onto the desk, gasping for air, your skin flushed and tingling all over, ‘Holy shit... that was... incredible…’
He licks his lips, savouring your sweet nectar as he slowly withdraws his fingers from your fluttering hole. Sits back on his heels, admiring the sight of you sprawled out before him, thoroughly debauched, ‘Look at you, utterly spent and satisfied. All because of me.’
He wipes his face with a handkerchief before tucking it away, ‘But we're far from finished, pet,’ he grabs your ankles, pulling you roughly to the edge of the desk, ‘I'm nowhere near done with you yet,’ he lines himself up with your entrance, rubbing the head of his cock through your soaked folds, ‘Ready for round two?’ he asks with a wicked grin, knowing full well you have no choice but to submit to him again and again.
‘Yes... I'm ready... I'll always be ready for you…’ You pant out, your body already aching for more despite the mind-blowing orgasm you just had. You spread your legs wider in an invitation, completely surrendered to your will, ‘Take me, Mikey. Ruin me’
Mikey smirks triumphantly at your complete submission, revelling in the power he holds over you, ‘Good girl,’ he grips your hips bruisingly tight, positioning himself at your entrance, ‘Brace yourself, I'm going to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk straight for days,’ he slams into you with one brutal thrust, burying himself to the hilt in your tight heat.
‘FUCK! Still so fucking tight after all that,’ he growls and sets a punishing pace, pounding into you mercilessly, ‘This is what you wanted, isn't it? To be claimed, owned, used for my pleasure alone,’ he reaches down, rubbing your clit roughly as he rails you, ‘Scream for me, let me hear that pretty voice as I split you open on my cock.’
‘AHHHHH!!! YES!!! JUST LIKE THAT!!! HARDER!!! USE ME MORE!!!’ you scream out in ecstasy, your nails raking down his back as he ravages you. Your legs wrap tightly around his waist, urging him deeper as your pussy clenches greedily around his pistoning shaft, ‘OH GOD...YOU FEEL SO GOOD...I LOVE YOUR COCK...I'M YOURS...PLEASE DON'T STOP!!!’ You babble incoherently, lost in a haze of pleasure and pain, completely consumed by the primal act of being taken so forcefully.
Mikey groans loudly, feeling your walls flutter and spasm around him as he drives into you with reckless abandon, ‘That's right, take it all, you filthy whore,’ he crashes his mouth against yours in a rough, dominating kiss, swallowing your screams as he fucks you senseless.
‘You were made for this, for being used as my cum dump,’ he breaks the kiss, panting heavily as he gazes down at you with a sadistic gleam in his eyes, ‘I can feel you getting closer, can't you? Your cunt is squeezing me so tightly, begging for release.’
He slaps your ass hard, leaving a bright red mark, ‘Well, beggars can't be choosers. When I fill you up with my seed, you'd better milk it for all it's worth. Every last drop belongs inside this greedy little hole.’
‘YES!! FILL ME UP!! I WANT IT ALL!!!’ you wail, your body shaking uncontrollably as another massive orgasm builds within you. The intensity of his words, the sting of his slap, the relentless pounding of his cock - it all pushes you over the edge, ‘OH FUCK... I'M COMING AGAIN!!! MIKEY!!!’ your pussy spasms wildly, gushing around him as you come undone once more under his brutal domination.
Mikey snarls in satisfaction as he feels your climax crash over you, milking his cock for every ounce of pleasure, ‘That's it, squeeze me dry, you insatiable slut,’ he pounds into you furiously, chasing his own release as your velvety walls rip through him.
‘Fuck, here it comes…’ With a guttural roar, he slams deep one final time, erupting inside you in a torrent of hot, thick cum, ‘TAKE IT! EVERY LAST DROP!’ he grinds against you, ensuring his seed coats your insides thoroughly as he rides out the waves of his orgasm.
‘Thank god for birth control. If this is what you're like, what about the other executives?’ You somehow manage to speak, panting and voice hoarse.
Mikey smirks, a dark glint in his eyes, ‘Oh, they're nothing compared to me. They might think they're powerful and in charge, but they don't have the same...drive. The hunger. The thirst for absolute control. They can never match up to what I am capable of. And you, my dear, are going to see that firsthand.’
You shudder slightly, both aroused and unnerved by the intensity of his words. There's something deeply unsettling about the way he talks, like there's a darkness lurking beneath the surface that could consume you entirely if you let it. Yet, the thought only makes you wetter, your core throbbing with need.
‘What do you mean? What exactly are you capable of?’ you ask breathlessly, your heart racing as you await his response, simultaneously dreading and craving whatever twisted desires he may unleash upon you.
Mikey leans in close, his breath hot against your ear as he whispers, ‘I'm capable of things that would make even the most depraved minds recoil in horror. Dark pleasures, forbidden desires, the kind that can only be satiated by those who dare to embrace their inner demons.’
He trails a finger down your cheek, his touch chilling despite the heat of our bodies entwined, ‘With you, I can indulge in these vices without restraint, safe in the knowledge that you crave them just as much as I do. Together, we'll descend into the depths of depravity, lost in a world where pleasure and pain are indistinguishable.’
He pulls back, his gaze piercing and intense, ‘So, are you prepared to surrender yourself fully to me, to become my willing plaything in the pursuit of these twisted delights?’
‘As long as I still have a job, I think I can adjust,’ you answer, not sure if it was out of honesty, fear or lust.
Mikey chuckles darkly, a sound that sends shivers down your spine, ‘Oh, you'll have a job alright. One that suits your...unique talents. And if you ever think of leaving, well, let's just say I have ways of making sure you stay put.’
He leans in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that leaves you breathless, ‘Now, let's get cleaned up and ready for round three, shall we? I've got a few toys I want to introduce you to,’ he winks, a sinister promise in his eyes.
#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo revengers imagines#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo rev#tokyo revengers#tokyo rev x y/n#tokyo rev smut#tokyo revengers fanfiction#tokyo revengers bonten#tokyo revengers mikey x reader#tokyo rev mikey bonten#bonten mikey#anime fanfiction#anime imagines#tokyo revengers bonten smut#tokyo rev x you#tokyo revengers bonten x reader#manjiro mikey sano x reader#manjiro mikey sano#fanfiction blog#anime smut#smut fic#kinktober
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Okay so uh I fucking hate doing these. As has been noted. And I especially hate doing them right after I just fucking finished one.
But unfortunately I don't think I really have a choice.
My phone has been having issues for over a month and I don't think I can fix it, or that it's even worth fixing. I'm not even sure if it's usable right now because if the screen is on for any amount of time it seems to restart. I *might* still be able to use it for my discord calls overnight, but that's about it. Which means I probably won't be able to use it for job interviews and stuff like that.
I got my phone 10 months ago and it's outside of warranty, so sending it off to Apple to *potentially* fix it is going to take weeks (where I won't have a phone at all) and ALSO cost $150-$200 probably...which is about what I paid for my phone in the first place.
So. I need a new phone. I don't know what phone I can really get, because I really don't want to get another Apple one, but there's a very limited amount of phones that fit my tiny ass baby hands, my 6.5inch phone (Iphone SE first gen) doesn't even fit in my hand lol. And it's really hard to even find that size or smaller. I'm going to do some more research and see if I can find a smart phone that's android that does, but I don't know how that will go.
Anyways, I don't have a clear idea of how much I'll need, but I'm going to guess at least $250...so please help me with this if you can? Even a reblog or a few dollars goes along way- plus I'm in Canada so for you US or UK folk, my currency is about 2x worse than yours- by giving me $10, I get $20 and so on.
My PayPal is [email protected]
If you're also in Canada I can give you my e-transfer, for those who can't use PayPal look into Wise.
Thank you all so much for reading this.
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At the risk of having an opinion on Tumblr, that post about having Tumblr do a 48hr blackout like the Reddit one is... kinda just dumb.
Reddit communities going dark was based on well-defined demands against a well-defined new thing the company was doing. Reddit would start charging $xyz amount for API access. This would kill 3rd party apps. The protest was "we want Reddit to renegotiate the API cost to a lesser more reasonable rate that won't kill 3rd party apps."
The tumblr post just seems to be a hodge-podge of every popular tumblr complaint currently, including things staff themselves would clearly like to fix. Like one of the demands is to increase efforts against the spam bots. Buddy tumblr would love to get rid of those things because "your website is infested with sex bots" is not a good look to advertisers. Clearly they don't have a good way to get rid of them otherwise they'd be gone by now. Some 48 hour protest is not gonna make them suddenly better at it.
Other demands include bringing back "go nuts show nuts" which is just straight up not possible anymore. The current CEO made a long post about it a while back explaining why it can't happen. Some of the gripes are just annoying things like Tumblr Live, which tbh would be nice if it was gotten rid of entirely but having it be one bullet point in a random 2-day log off protest isn't gonna do it... You're better off sending thought-out feedback on why it's a problem.
Also like... even if Tumblr said "We're selling all the world's puppies to the factory that tests the efficacy of pepper grinders on animal flesh" which would be a pretty good thing to protest, the Tumblr format itself just can't be organized the way Reddit is. Reddit is made up of a bunch of town center bulletin boards that announcements can be pinned to, with moderators who (for better or worse) can make decisions for a whole community. Tumblr is just everyone's random blogs. Most of you probably don't even know what post I'm talking about cuz it never circulated to your dash. Which version of what post ends up on your dash is a complete clown show. This format doesn't let us organize for shit.
Also parting thoughts, Reddit was able to actually shut communities down and they have better advertiser pull so a missing chunk of the userbase could potentially catch the ire of advertisers. Tumblr is a mud pit and I doubt half the advertisers even know they're advertising on Tumblr.
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Heyyy I’m literally playing through ps4 Spider-Man again 🤣!
I was wondering if I could request a ps4 fic, maybe Peter and reader have been dating for a while, and she gets hurt during the explosion and he can’t find her but she’s with may at feast with like a broken arm or something?? (She knows he’s Spider-Man) 👀🫶🏼
hey lol thanks for requesting! I'm on the first playthrough of the game myself. Basically this is set during the explosion at the election event in the game, and Peter and you are there to proudly watch Officer Davis accept his award.
/
"Hey." Peter comes up from behind you on the sidewalk, fixing wrinkles in his civilian clothes. He must've just changed.
"Hey, Parker." You nudge him. "Ready to go watch Osborn smooch up to the well-meaning audience of Manhattan?"
"Well, ready as I'll ever be." Peter takes your hand. "I'm really just there to watch Davis get his well-deserving award, y'know. Hey, didn't I tell you to stop calling me Parker?"
"Meh, you love it." You joke. "You'll always be Parker to me, even if you are my boyfriend now. It's our thing."
Peter shakes his head, but you know based on his little smile- he loves that you have a little thing just for him.
Together, you walk to the intersection in front of City Hall, where many people crowd around, waiting for Mayor Osborn and whatever speech he's about to give today. They're all dressed in Osborn themed merchandise, cheering and clapping.
You can't believe this many people care about Osborn's so-called promises to the city- you and Peter are really hoping he won't be re-elected this term after all- but people are clapping for him, and you sigh knowing that your cost of living is about to go up.
"Hey. Wipe that frown off your face. We're here to be supportive." Peter whispers from next to you in the crowd, and you nod.
"Where's Davis? Is that him?" You whisper back, pointing to an older black man up on the stage.
"Yup. You wouldn't believe it, he was so helpful in Hell's Kitchen. Dude whipped out his gun and had my back like we've been best buds for years." Peter smiles. "There's not many out there doing it like him."
"He sounds like a real treasure. I'm glad you have someone on your side." You squeeze Peter's hand, and continue to look up towards the stage in mild excitement.
You don't really care for Osborn's speech- Peter laughs about his promise to open up technology for NYC when you both know that's reserved for the elite- but you both grin when Davis, looking nervous as ever, walks up the stage to receive his award.
"It is my privilege to present Officer Jefferson Davis with the Department Medal of Honour." Osborn hangs a medal around Davis' neck, and you and Peter clap.
"I'm so glad this is all over. The gang war, I think." Peter whispers to you, and you raise your eyebrows.
"Really? Does this mean you'll finally be a little safer?" You ask, but Peter frowns a little.
"Well, there's some loose ends still to be tied up, but-"
"Loose ends?" You give him a wary glance. "Like what?"
"Like whatever 'Consolidated Shipping' is. It doesn't make sense." Peter sighs, watching concern grow on your face. "It's not right, but I'll figure it out."
Davis says a few words- he thanks his wife and his son, Miles, who you can see is sitting up at the front of the stage.
"Aw, cute kid." You remark to Peter, and he nods, gaining a slightly sheepish smile.
"Officer Davis did say I remind him of his son. I'll take it as a compliment." Peter jokes, and you snicker, calling him even more of a baby.
Behind you, Sable guards are talking on their walkie talkies about "keeping eyes on Osborn," which to you sounds as if they perceive a threat. You turn back to tell Peter, when he suddenly flinches.
"Peter-?"
He grabs his head, panicking- you watch as his pupils dilate, and he's clearly in some kind of shock.
"Everything feels off-" Peter flinches again, and you know he's having a Spider-Sense meltdown. There must be multiple things happening at once- even worse, you're not sure what he's supposed to do in this situation. He's not suited up, and he risks revealing his identity if he does anything.
Either way, Peter runs behind you. He shoves people out of the way, trying to get to the back of the event, behind the audience, but he's not fast enough. There are men arriving out of cars- corrupted men, turning that strange grey-blue-transparent hue that confirms their connection with Martin Li.
Peter runs- he dashes- but you see him flinch again, cowering under such threatening energy. He turns to the stage in horror, and you gasp in shock.
There's another corrupted on stage, covered in explosive devices.
An explosion goes off behind you, to the right of you, than another massive one on stage- the ground shakes beneath you, and you're too in shock to move.
"Get down!" Peter shoves you back, attempting to push you out of the way, just as another two explosions cause the earth under you to rattle, and you lose your footing and fall back on the pavement. You twist your arm unnaturally and hit your head.
You black out, the last thing you see being massive blue-black explosions in the sky.
/
Peter wakes to floating ash in the sky.
He coughs- there's a sharp pain in his right side, and a slight ache at the top of his hairline- he touches his forehead and pulls his fingers away to see brown-red, dry blood.
It doesn't matter. He'll heal faster than most, anyways- he needs to locate you.
He gets up, seizes a little due to the pain- and to his alarm, you're nowhere in his near sight. He walks around seeing Sable guards help people off the streets- although Peter really thinks they're poking and prodding and shoving them away, so they can clean up the mess around here.
He hopes you haven't been taken away by Sable guards.
Peter rushes to the nearest clinic- but there's too many people crowding around there with their injuries, and the receptionist at the emergency room tells him there's no one by your name here.
He begins to panic. You're not responding to his calls, either. Peter doesn't want to believe the worst could've happened to you, but he does hear people talking on the streets about the casualties. Apparently at least 10 people have been found dead so far- Peter starts swearing under his breath.
He decides to head to FEAST- he's not sure if you'll be there, but it's better to ask Aunt May or some of the volunteers if you've been seen. FEAST also operates as an emergency medical clinic, too, even with limited supplies, and it's with this small amount of hope that Peter travels there.
Pushing through the doors, the front desk woman- Amanda- she's startled by how intensely Peter asks about you.
"I don't know, Peter." She points to the main auditorium, where many homeless and injured people are currently being attended to. "It's kind of an open house back here- you're going to have to look through the crowds."
Peter sighs. "Thanks, Amanda."
It takes him about fifteen minutes to do a full, quick walkthrough. The entire time, his heartbeat thumps faster as he realizes- he's not seeing you anywhere. There's nobody wearing your trademark scarf, your usual dark blue jeans- nobody with your fastidious expression, where you always seem to take in the entire world before speaking- nobody to relieve the steady ache in his heart.
Peter walks into the room full of medical supplies, expecting to see Aunt May- and while May is there, busy with another volunteer, the first thing he sees is you, with your hair all disheveled and messy, bruises on your cheek and a cut under your lip, and your arm wrapped in a cast and a sling.
But you have a soft, comforting smile. You're kneeling down to help a little girl- she can't be older than five- and you're placing a bandage on her knee. And the little girl squeals, hugging you after you say "It's all better now."
Peter would agree with that.
You look up, arms still embraced around the little girl- Rina is her name- to see Peter, looking wistful, sad, a clear lump in his throat. His eyes are watery.
"Peter?" You watch as he comes forward.
"I thought you were- I thought..." He wipes his eyes. "Are you okay? What happened?"
"Well, Little Rina over here needed a little bit of medical attention." You kindly tap her shoulder and she nods up at Peter, smiling. "She tripped and fell and no one was paying attention to her knee, so I decided to help her."
"That's..." Peter trails off, wondering how you could be so selfless when your own face was looking a bit worse for wear. "That's sweet of you to do. How do you feel, kiddo?"
He kneels towards her, and she grins really big. "Better!"
"Alright, high five then." Peter high fives her, and she dashes off afterwards, most likely looking for the parent she came with.
"Why didn't you respond to my calls?" Peter asks you as soon as you turn back to him. "I thought... I thought the worst had happened-"
"Peter, please. Stop with the wounded ego." May calls him out, listening from the sidelines. "What's important is that she's safe and in one piece- that's more than enough to feel grateful about."
Peter looks down, ashamed. He knows May is right, and he has to swallow his pride for a moment.
"I'm sorry, Peter." You grasp his hand, and he looks back at you, jaw tight as he listens. "I didn't mean to not answer your calls- my phone got shattered. And I didn't know where to find you after I woke up- I was already being taken away by Sable guards to 'safety' and then I decided my best chance to find you was over here."
"Oh." Peter feels kind of dumb, but he also feels glad you think of FEAST as a spot to find him. "I should've kept you safe."
"Don't. Don't make yourself crazy with what you could've done." You plead with him, and he sighs but shakes his head. "My arm will heal with time. I guess I landed on it weirdly and broke it."
Peter winces. "Well, you can always ask me for help if it bothers you. I'm there for you."
He traces your lip, where the cut under is still a red-brown, harsh hue in comparison to the pink of your bottom lip, and May takes this as her cue to leave.
Peter snorts. "I wish you had my-"
"Super healing? Yeah, I wish that too." You laugh. "Were you lucky enough to not get hit, or did you just heal on the way here?"
Peter's reaching for a facial bandage and some rubbing alcohol. "The latter."
"Ugh, lucky bastard." You smile up at him, cringing only slightly as Peter rubs away the blood from your wound. "I'm just glad that means I don't have to worry too much about you."
"You still do." Peter remarks, placing the bandage on your face. "But that just means you love me."
And, being ever so thankful that you're safely back in his arms, Peter places a soft kiss on your forehead, and then a slightly-less-soft one on your mouth, hoping it doesn't hurt you, but happy that you kiss him back anyways.
#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#ps5 peter parker x reader#ps5 peter parker#ps4 peter parker x reader#ps4 peter parker x you#insomniac peter parker x reader#insomniac peter parker#peter parker#insomniac spider man#insomniac spider man x reader#insomniac spider man x you#spiderman x reader#spider man x reader#spider man x you#marvel's spider man#peter parker fluff#peter parker angst#requests#asks
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hi! i'm caelum. you might know me from @goldentruths-pod or from posting online. im in a financial quicksand pit and i really, really, really need help.
i'm disabled and receive approx ~$950 a month from social security. this has gone from "rough but survivable" when i first started receiving SSI to "i am literally not making ends meet" in 2024. right now my current status is that i am covering my basic needs but any kind of extra purchases are impossible. and the extra purchases i need to make keep piling up because i just can't afford them. some things i need include, in vague level of priority:
dolphin, my cat, is years overdue for a vet visit. this is going to be $300 minimum, possibly more because she has an adversarial relationship with the vet. she needs dental work done which they had quoted me as being $1500 but ive been putting it off for so long that i would not be surprised if that's more expensive too
i have learned today that my gold crown needs to be replaced. really unhappy about this one. it was a miserable experience the first time (everything that went wrong did go wrong, i'll spare you the details) but what is relevant here is that my insurance does not cover this and it was $900 last time. insurance also does not cover extracting the tooth either so that's cool. i have some time before this one is due (my next consult is in july)
my phone is approaching "unusably broken". i've had it for close to 4 years now. the call speaker no longer works (i can only use the phone on speaker mode) and it struggles to run apps or a web browser which makes things like GPS pretty dire. this would be like ~$100-$150 probably, i havent done serious phone shopping yet
my driver's license is expired and i need to get a new one. this was $110 last time. note i havent driven a car in years due to the disability but it's really valuable to have a universally recognized form of photo ID and ive already been hassled over it being expired
god this one is so embarrassing to get into but i had to flee my previous apartment last year due to it escalating into a DV situation. the other tenants did not pay the heating bill, which was in my name (and my dumb ass didnt close the account because it was the middle of february and i didnt want to freeze them to death) so i have a $250 utility bill in collections. i might be able to dispute or debt forgiveness this one but tbh ive been so fucking drained given everything else going on and also my phone barely works so i havent pursued it. especially since i can't afford to pay it if i cant challenge it
i would really like to have a passport again. my previous one was destroyed by my landlord in 2018 but even if it wasnt it'd also be expired now. not sure how much this one costs. likely $200?
my food stamps were slashed in half (covid emergency ending lol) and do not cover my food costs for the month so im paying like $150 a month on food that i didnt have to previously. i can maybe fix this one but im slowly losing my mind from malnutrition from trying to not go into debt and also eat. so i havent had it in me to go 1v1 welfare bureaucracy and possibly make everything even worse
my shoes are probably two months out from fully decomposing. they were $100 three years ago and id like to get something comparable given they lasted me this long
the rest of my clothes are also very literally becoming threadbare, falling apart, or are too big and keep slipping off. i legitimately feel embarrassed to go in public these days because i dress so shitty all the time
insurance doesnt cover my HRT anymore so that's $30 a month i didnt used to have to pay
im sorry this turned into such a ramble. i'm in such a bad way right now, i have been for quite a while and the dental work news is really just the final straw. i can't really have a fundraising goal because due to the SSI asset limit i can never own more than $2000. & i'm aware both that this is the poor people sending each other the same 20 dollars website and that there are people urgently trying to raise money to escape an active genocide. but i held off from making this post as long as possible & idk what else i can do
anyway if theres anything you can contribute to help me i would appreciate it more than anything. at the very least i need to do something about my tooth.
http://paypal.me/hivehum
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Okay as great as crybaby!tav is we really glossed over the potential of mommy!Tav. I may be a smidge bias because that’s a lot like my tav, as she’s so damn determined to take care of her friends and was a baker before she was an adventurer so she’s constantly just doting on the companions offering them pastries. It’s a little self indulgent but My Tav has a little quirk that she grew up food insecure and just absolutely refuses to eat until she knows everyone else has eaten because she can’t bear the thought of any of her friends potentially going hungry. She’s normally very submissive and sweetly to all of them but no amount of begging, discipline or concern will break her because she just cares so damn much. Could you write the dom mom squad™️ reacting too something like that, who tries to comfort them? Who is incensed that she doesn’t believe they can provide? Who gets so hung up on the fact she’s being stubborn they forget the original issue?
A submissive mommy who can cook and give good hugs will literally fix 90% of the gang here, unironiclly.
Reacting to a very motherly Reader
[Bg3 women, fluff, dom mommies, afab!reader, fem pronouns, sub!reader ]
Karlach would relish in your dotting.
During her life in the hells, she was both touch starved and food starved for so long. You being there to encourage her with the pep talks, headpats, and occasional pie is everything she has ever dreamed of and more.
As much as she wants to be the one to take care of you, she can't help but let relish in you fussing over her. The coddling, the comfort, and the constant attention are slowly frying her brain from how happy she is.
Did she die and go to heaven?
She becomes very protective of you, never lets you carry heavy stuff, and always asks if you need her to bring you ingredients or something during her errand runs. No, no, you don't have to tire your pretty little legs. Just stay in camp all sweet and pretty while she goes out and brings you everything you need.
If you didn't know any better, you'd think she's subconsciously treating you like her stay at home wife.
She really likes hovering around while you cook, watching you work attentively and sometimes begging for a sample taste with her puppy eyes.
And yes you being the one feeding her those samples is very important, it enhances the taste a lot.
It might take her a while to notice the fact that you were always the last one to eat. Or how you immediately offered your plate if someone else wanted seconds.
She thinks it's very sweet at first but slowly grows more and more concerned at your well-being.
I mean, if she had to, she would sit on your lap to prevent you from getting up as she hands you a plate of food. Your stern talk will just make her feel guilty and sad but she'd refuse to let you get up.
As much as she loves nothing more than to obey her mommy, sometimes she also needs to take care of her mommy like she takes care of her.
Minthara would admire your ways.
Tenderness and love were never words that anyone in her culture used to describe a mother, an ilhar. No, they tend to fall more on the brutal and disciplinary side.
An ilhar meant authority, control, and order. To defy her is to commit a sin. To show weakness in front of her is even worse.
She is reminded by that cultural difference whenever someone describes you as motherly.
The only thing you had in common with the matrons of the underdark was that underlying strength. That unbreakable will hidden so deep inside you, the urge to survive at any cost and defend your subordinates. She admired it greatly.
You were very strong deep down, strong to be truly worthy of the description of motherly. That kind of strength that the males will never understand, the kind of strength that nurtured even more strength.
So when a person like you showered her in hugs, kisses, and even brushed and styled her hair for her from time to time, how could she ever be ungrateful and say no?
You were generous and kind even when you had no need to be, you were selfless to a concerning degree.
She had to put a stop to that.
Minthara respects you too much to use any of the punishments or disciplinary ways that her matrons taught her. She will talk to you like an equal because that's what she sees you as.
She will be very patient with you. Stopping you when your self sacrifices become too much for your health to bear, Reminding you that you also require as much food and rest as the rest of them.
She'll teach you to relay on her slowly, as gentle as she possibly can be. Which...isn't very gentle, honestly, but she is genuinely trying her best.
Jaheira feels like you complete her.
As an actual mother to so many children, Jaheira still never truly grasped the whole motherly vibe people keep preaching about. Her kids are safe, fed, cleaned, and trained in combat. Isn't that enough?
So what it if she was absent on missions a lot, need I remind you that her line of work concers the safety of the whole world? What kind of mother would she be if she let the whole world, which included her kids, end just because she picked to stay at home and colour with her youngest.
She knows it doesn't excuse it. Give her a break. She is at the end of her age and hasn't had someone by her side since in a long while.
That's why when you suddenly appear in her life with all of the qualities she was severely lacking in, she almost thinks it's too good to be true.
...you almost remind her of a certain someone she lost long ago. You're just as soft and caring to others. Ironically enough people also underestimate a lot because of your kindness too.
She is drawn to you, like a moth to a flame.
Jaheira can't help it. You shine with radiance, and she hasn't felt warmth in so long.
The first few days she brings her kids home-cooked meals, they immediately hold a knife to her throat as they demand this doppelganger tell them where their real mother is.
But after some very awkward conversations, and having to bring you into her house as actual proof. They realised that their mother's stone heart can still beat after all apparently.
Shadowheart tries to play it cool, fails.
She has an edgy mysterious aura she needs to keep, and you're making it very hard for her. How is she supposed to be this dark, cool cleric of Shar when you keep gifting her these hand-knitted pastel sweaters with the most loving look in your eyes.
Of course she will wear them, she isn't heartless.
She's really trying not to show how touched she is when you look for her during dinner at camp to make sure she got her plate. She can't help the blush on her ears when you wipe some food from the corner of her mouth.
She's mean to people on your behalf when they're rude to you or try to take advantage of your submissiveness. Actually she is just mean to people in general if she doesn't like the way they look at you.
Loves taking naps on your lap, absolutely adores when you play with her hair or braid it. Your thighs are the perfect pillows for her to rest her head on and just forget about the outside world and her mission for a while.
She saves the best wine she finds to share it with you later, or the best sweets or fancy jucies if you don't drink. She had to defend her stash from both Gale and Wyll wandering hands, absolutely refusing all of their offers or begging for some of that fancy cheese or that perfectly aged wine bottle.
You're the only person she ever shares it with. She doesn't even want anything in return. She just loves seeing you happy and relaxed every once in a while. You always take care of them, so it's about time that someone takes care of you too.
Laezel has killed people for disrespecting you.
And she'll do it fucking again. These worms forgot their place. She doesn't even care how little their offence is, just efficiently ending their miserable life.
Why do you have a look of disappointment on your face? She did them a favour. She even made it painless and quick to compromise for your feelings.
Chk. Your softness will be the end of you. Be grateful that she is here to prevent that from ever happening.
You threaten not to take her with you on errand runs anymore if she doesn't put her sword away? You really think you can survive without her?
...okay yeah actually you can. You make a really valid point.
If it was anyone else she'd have taken that request as an insult on her honor, but since it's you...
Fine. She will listen for now.
And maybe if you keep making more of those faerun dishes, she will find it easier to listen to you. Especially the apple pie ones.
#♡shart#♡minthara#♡laezel#♡Karlach#♡Jaheira#♡dom mommies#♡mommy!tav#♡mommy!reader#♡afab reader#♡fem pronouns reader#♡fluff#Minthara x reader#karlach x reader#shadowheart x reader#laezel x reader#Jaheira x reader#bg3 fluff#bg3 x reader#afab reader#fem pronouns reader
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"I just wanted to say. Thank you for protecting me"
Eclipse-Centric | Wordcount: 805 | AO3 Version
(Maybe some major spoilers for Solar Lunacy, TW for some robot gore, human injury)
The damage to their body was... extensive. Not life-threatening. But extensive.
You don't know how you're going to fix this right now, but Gramps has a toolbox in the shed, and there's duct tape underneath your kitchen sink, and Eclipse is very, very patient as he sits numbly on your coach, of few words and more looks, as you pluck out charred wires and plastic out of the hole in his arm to the robot that's probably held together less out of reasonable sense and more out of will and magic that you don't understand.
The arm that was torn off has sharp edges in the metal that cut at your fingertips when you try and brush it off, and you don't know if the animatronic feel pain if you were to try and sand it. So, in a comical fashion, you've put an oven mitt over the end of it, taping it to hold its place.
The other arms are laying limp, two on the couch, resting with its palm up in your lap. There's fried wiring around the elbow, dents in the forearm where Monty grabbed him, and openings that you can't tell look like they're from wolf claws or the steel of a knife.
The sight of them makes the wound under your own bandages ache for a moment, but you swallow back the wet soreness in your throat and continue working. The hospital gave you decent pain meds. You needed to stay on task while they were effective.
"Lift, please." You talk quietly, fearing that your voice may crack.
Eclipse doesn't respond, eyes locked onto the television. The news is playing, covering the fire. The sound is low so not to bother you. Still, the animatronic shifts his limbs for you, head turned towards the screen.
There's melted plastic stuck to his forearm, and you're peeling it off with chipped fingernails and whatever willpower you have left, flicking off the pieces onto the carpet to vacuum up later when you have the energy. Leaning back, you gather the duct tape from the coffee table, pulling out a strip to cover the hole in his shoulder.
It's...not what he needs. But it's all you have. All you can do is pick up the pieces and cover up the damage so it doesn't get any worse.
"I'm gonna put this over the opening, okay?" Two long strips are wide enough to cover this 'wound', and it seals the inside of the wiring away. "So nothing gets in your chassis. Or falls out."
Eclipse doesn't make a movement to acknowledge what you said, staring limply with the default smile toward the news broadcaster detailing the company's statement, and it's an estimate of the cost of damages.
Their ability to emote is not currently active, just like their voicebox. Not until they are both fixed. You wish they were active. You wish you could get something, a facial expression, a joke, a sentence, anything. You're taping your friend's fingers together like broken bones only theirs were stuck as claws.
A warmth travels down your face, past your mouth and you don't feel the wetness until it hits your neck. Lips pressed together into a thin line, you rub the tear away. You'll do that on your own time. Not now.
When you blink, you see a shift in the corner of your eye. Eclipse is staring at you now.
Your tongue feels swollen in your mouth. "I, uh-" You busy yourself with his hand, grey-tainted with burned-off paint and scorched sharp points. "I wanted to say thank you for protecting me. You know-" You keep your head low. "Back then."
He looks at you with black eyes and still pupils. The crack in his faceplate feels like guilt and sorrow in your ribcage.
You missed them saying things. You'd be happy for a stupid nickname, even.
The fingers you were treating suddenly tense in your grip, and by instinct, you let them go, until they turn and they fold around your own hand. Long, damaged fingers curl into your own, grasping your hand and holding it along with your wrist.
You freeze as Eclipse leans down, and his faceplate presses against your forehead. Not barely, but heavily, firmly, resting in your hair.
He lingers there as the news broadcast flashes familiar images on the screen, casting different colors on both of you.
You only raise a hand to press your fingertips to the bottom of his faceplate pushing him back as you mummer you needed to remove his ruffled collar so you can clean the soot you've spotted hidden underneath it.
He lets you, but the hand not using the rag stays in his hold, and his other comes up to palm away a warmth that falls from your face and onto your neck again.
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I was thinking about the themes of One Piece, and what differentiated out characters we see as good versus bad, especially in a work that takes a really accepting view of different moral standpoints and values (Coby and SWORDS's justice is very different from Sabo and the RA's justice but they are both presented as good guys we'd want to root for).
So like, why do we root for Luffy following his dream to be Pirate King, but not Teach?
What about hating Crocodile who wanted to create an ideal society free of the WG but not the RA who want something similar for whole the world?
Big Mom who wants to create a place where all sentient are equal and get along versus Koala and/or Otohime who dream of that same thing for humans and fishmen?
I mean the obvious answer is that protagonists and their allies tend to be likeable - they are usually drawn prettier, have less kick the dog moments, and we get more time with them as an audience. They have to be on some level, or no one would read the manga.
But from an in-story perspective, I think its a an under looked facet of Luffy's character, for him chasing his dream is more important than obtaining it. It's why he turns down Rayleigh straight up offering to tell him where Laugh Tale is, and what is on it. What is important to Luffy isn't so much becoming Pirate King, it is being free, having fun, sailing with his friends on the journey to be Pirate King.
It's why he helps Vivi in Alabasta, Cricket in Skypiea, Shirahoshi in Fishmen Island, and the Wano crew in uhh Wano (the journey wouldn't be fun if he'd abandoned his friends to do it)
It's why he takes dangerous detours to places like Little Garden or Sky Island or Punk Hazard(the journey wouldn't be fun if he didn't get to explore)
It's why he risks his life against Arlong for Nami and declares the entire world his enemy for Robin and literally threatens to starve to death to get Sanji back ( the journey wouldn't be fun if he can't do it with his crew by his side)
All of this is why, Luffy isn't afraid of dying either. He can die at any point on his journey to being Pirate King, and feel no regret because the journey itself was the important part.
Compare this to two other D.'s Law and Blackbeard.
Law's also relentlessly pursuing his dream when we meet him (stop Doflamingo to avenge Cora), and he is miserable.
Law in trying to achieve his dream whatever the cost keeps putting himself in situations he hates.
He leaves his beloved crew behind because the mission is basically a suicide run. He cozies up to the Government he hates and hands his heart over to a morally bankrupt mad scientist he's obviously disgusted by. He plans to get Doflamingo in trouble with Kaido, which mean 1) he likely won't get to punch out Mingo himself, 2) there is a high probability of civilians getting caught in the crossfire/dying horribly.
This journey sucks. If Law had died during any point of this he would have been the world's most pissed off ghost.
It's Luffy and the Strawhats busting in and transforming that journey that puts Law on the path to success with his dream and with not being so goddamn miserable.
Like screw Caesar, let;s have Luffy kick his ass and then you fix the children he was experimenting on. Screw playing nice with the government, do what you want and call us your allies instead. Screw Doflamingo, you and Luffy go beat him up and the rest of us will pull his government/crime family down around his ears.
And it works! Law's grumpy and annoyed and cursing Luffy out, but he tells Mingo he believes Luffy can pull out a miracle and looks more at peace watching Doflamingo and Luffy brawl - knowing that he'll die or succeed with his ally/friend - than he ever did with his fool-proof plan.
The journey before destination thing is also why Blackbeard feels like a special type of evil in OP despite there being technically worse/more evil villains, because Blackbeard always prioritizes his dream over how he gets it.
He'll stay in the shadows for 20 years to increase his chances of success (wouldn't it have been more fun to be a captain like he obviously wants?)
He'll kill his crewmate, turn his commander in for a reward, then kill his captain (wouldn't it have been more fun to stay friends, he never indicates he hates/dislikes them?)
He invites strong people - and strong seems to be the only criteria - to join his crew, though tbh their personalities often suck. I don't recall any panel of his crew just hanging out or joking around which even Baroque Works, Buggy's crew, and Kaido's Beast Pirates get (wouldn't it have been more fun to recruit people he can befriend, not just people he can use)
Like obviously Blackbeard feels like the antithesis of Luffy - even though they are both all about chasing their dreams. Luffy's all about the chasing, and Blackbeard only cares about the results.
#one piece meta#monkey d. luffy#marshall d. teach#trafalgar law#also another theme of the manga is romance (classical sense)#and the process of chasing your dream is so much more romantic#than the absolute ruthless prioritization of results
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Calling the plumber
One bad thing about Scott's and Cody’s relationship was that they both were almost stereotypically gay in a lot of senses. Both were thin and lithe, had a somewhat androgynous appearance. They were stylish and well-groomed and even their professions were a little bit gay: Scott was the bartender at a gay club and Cody was a hair stylist.
All of that wasn't much of a problem of course. What *was* problematic however, at least at the moment, was, that neither of them had any proficiency in handicraft. So, it didn't come as a surprise that the two of them stood rather clueless in front of the clearly leaking sink in their kitchen.
Scott was the first one to speak. "It looks bad."
Cody sighed and nodded in agreement. "Yep. Looks like we need to call a plumber."
"Oof. It's Sunday, that's gonna cost us! Are you sure there's no other way?" Scott was the one managing their finances and he wasn't too happy about having to pay out for repairs.
Cody shrugged. "Well, we can't very well fix it ourselves, right? Or do you know anything about fixing water pipes?"
Scott frowned and scratched his head. "Not exactly. But..."
Cody looked at Scott expectantly. "You're gonna try it?"
Scott shrugged his shoulders. "I can at least try. It's not going to get leakier, right?"
"Well..." Cody was about to point out that, indeed, Scott could very much make it worse than the current leak, but he refrained from doing so. Instead, he pointed out: "You know, this is one of the times where a stereotypical straight guy would be useful. You know the type, Mr. fix-it-all-by-yourself."
"Sadly, we don't have that, honey. Now, let's get my dad's tools."
Shortly after, Scott was with his head under the sink.
"Now, let's see. Perhaps, I can just use one of those clampy thingies... to make it tighter?"
"I think they are called wrenches?" Cody tried to be helpful.
"Isn't that a slur for women?" Scott asked, while trying his best with the tool.
"No, that's a wench!" Cody laughed. "Are you alright down there?"
"Yeah, I just need to..." Suddenly, the resistance vanished, and the dripping of water became a small jet.
"Oh, for fucks sake!" Scott cried out, completely atypical for him.
"Everything alright?" Cody asked and cleared his throat. His voice sounded coarser than before.
"Yeah, sorry about the mess, Sir." Scott mumbled. Sir? Where did that come from? He did have other things to think about, though. He felt uncomfortable and shifted his position under the sink. His body was expanding in every direction: His frame became wider, and his arms and legs exploded with muscles.
There was an audible ripping sound from his shirt as it got stretched to the breaking point by his growing pecs.
Hair grew in quickly, both on his chest and his chin, giving him a rugged and somewhat older look.
"Shit", he cursed under his breath and quickly selected a more suitable tool from his toolbox. With a flex of his incredible biceps, he made short process of the jet of water he caused, allowing him to get to the root cause of the problem. The pipes were old and grimy, and the leak would surely not be the last. "That's a fine mess you got down here, Sir. You should replace the pipes as soon as possible."
Cody was distracted by his own observations. At first, he quite enjoyed the show as his boyfriends lower body that was sticking out under the sink elongated and became beefier by the second - including, especially, the large package in the dirty pants-turned-workpants of Scott and the hairy abdomen.
But soon, his focus shifted to his own body. His jeans and shirt quickly dissolved, leaving him standing in just his underwear. Instead of his usual meek body, however, an equally fit body that was sculpted in the gym formed: big arms, a massive chest and trunks of legs grew on him, giving him a magnificent appearance.
However, as his body grew, his intellect diminished: His square face looked at the plumber under his sink with less and less intelligence in his eyes. His sight didn't stick to the other man's groin anymore, of course: He wasn't gay and just didn't see that kind of thing on a man. Instead, he scratched his ass through his dirty white underwear and answered in a dull voice:
"Uh, don't worry about the mess, dude. I'm not a neat-freak. Can you replace the pipes for me, bro?"
Cody earned enough money as a fitness trainer, but the truth was, even though he certainly was a real man, he wasn't very good with stuff around the house, mainly because he was too dumb for it. So, he just called a specialist for everything he needed done to his bachelor pad.
Scott crawled out from under the sink. "Sure thing, Sir." he said. "But not on a Sunday, I'm afraid. I won't get the parts I need. Besides, my wife and kids are waiting for me at home with dinner. I suggest you call my office tomorrow."
"Awesome, bro", Cody beamed a happy, yet dim smile at Scott. "Thanks for coming over on such short notice."
He handed the plumber his money and brought him to the door, watching the mid-thirties man drive away in his dirty van. Now that this was taken care of, what now? Ah, probably what he had planned before the sink accident interrupted him. He plopped down on the couch, fished out his half-hard cock and unpaused the porn video that had been on the big screen the whole time.
I know gay-to-straight is a sensitive topic and I do get that we all encounter enough homophobia in our everyday's lifes that we don't need to encourage it in fantasy. So, while I will occasionally continue to write gay-to-straight TFs, I will try to not hit the "lib to con", "MAGA" or homophobia track but express it as another sexuality and the tropes that come with it.
ANYWAY. If you like what I do and want to read more stories and experience new stories as soon as they are written AND reap awesome exclusive rewards, consider subscribing to my riot page!
#male transformation#dumbing down#gay to straight#no homophobia#age progression#muscle transformation
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inspired by a post by @/serpentface of a concept that captivated me, i'm going to present the much anticipated, much requested, "what cars my characters would drive, bearing in mind their economic status and assuming the year is 2024" post
we can start reallyyyy easy because for Bowman there's no other option:
An ep3 Honda Civic. Is it a type-R? nope but it's got vtec bro!!!! it's surprisingly practical and the wheels are kerbed to shit. there's fluffy dice. there's an aftermarket spoiler on the back and a halfords special front splitter. He's of the opinion that girls don't know the difference between a hot hatch and a grandma's car so this works as well as the expensive one. i think his driving style is best described as 'life changing'. for better or worse.
Senca:
unflinchingly practical. the car that can do it all. a 2010 1.6 TDI Skoda Octavia with roof rails. it's not about speed or looks and it's not even about transport, really, it's about looking superior because nobody else's car can fit the contents of an entire house inside. and then looking less smug when someone pulls up in a Volvo V50. the type of driver who can't fucking stand it when other people break the rules of the road but when she does it, it's fine. because she's a "good" driver.
Léa:
2004 Hyundai Coupe 2L. Yes bitch it looks fast!!!! IS it fast? No, but the better coupes from the same era did not depreciate so much in value and aren't affordable. in Léa's hands it's like a rocket ship. The indicators must be broken though because nobody has ever seen them in use. She spray-painted the wheels herself.
Islin:
a step-through road bike WITH panniers. cars damage the environment and the thought of contributing to that is unconscionable. doesn't wear a helmet anyway. dichotomy of ocd
Helena:
Porche Cayenne. Mostly someone else would drive her around but every so often she wants to get behind the wheel and start tailgating aggressively, just for the thrill of it. She replaced the stock lights with retina blaster 9000s and is always about 1 inch behind your back bumper, full beam on. Red lights are for other people. She ran over a child once because she wasn't looking and blamed the parents.
Jean-Baptiste:
Caterham 7. The one made up to look much older than it is, and he ordered it in kit car form and built it in his garage. I've always insisted that Jean would be massively into motor sport if he happened to have been born when that was a thing. He didn't follow the manufacturer's instructions because he felt that he knew best so his car is very unsafe but makes far more power than stock. It's not road legal but you will find it on the road nonetheless.
Erica:
Oh? You've never heard of it? You've never seen a man look so smug in your life. He shuts the silent-close door and explains that he traded in his Tesla model 3 for a BYD Seal because Tesla was becoming "too mainstream" and there were too many of them on the road.
Félix:
1998 Mercedes Benz E Class. Yeah it cost him £700 on Autotrader, but what's important is that it cost £60,000 when new. This is a good car. This is a luxurious car. It has heated seats - they don't work, but if he wanted to fix them he could. It has an overflowing ashtray from the previous owner and there's not a single thing that goes right on it but it makes him look adjacently wealthy, and isn't that the point? The poppy helps him look more sympathetic to elderly people (scam victims). Number One Most Likely To Attempt Murder-Suicide By Automobile. You've never seen a man look so divorced.
Carmen:
For her i just sorted price low -> high and picked the cheapest running car. And it's a Fiat Bravo! Notorious for earning a zero star euro ncap safety score and exploding into scrap if it hits a kerb. Carmen can't rely on her parents buying her a first car or paying insurance so she has no choice but to scrape the bottom of the barrel. She thinks it looks nice though.
Pascal:
was there any doubt.
Nico:
Beat up 1999 Discovery permanently attached to a horsebox. It is always filthy and somehow filled with straw and dog hair even though he doesn't own a dog, that's just what seems to happen to these cars. The heating doesn't work anymore but other than that it's fine, does the job. Drives with what can only be described as malicious compliance to all rules of the road.
Cain:
a Lada Niva. Why the hell would you ever need more than this. Electronics? No thanks. You're lucky it has gears. Cars peaked in the 1970s and anything built after that is just a piece of ridiculous frivolity, a toy for children. Here is a real workhorse. It costs 20 grand. Probably the only truly good driver here.
---
Sir Heaven:
Please for the love of god stop making him drive the Revuelto he doesn't want to do it anymore it's too scary
Sir Victory:
2003 Seat Leon Cupra R, with decals that make it seem very impressive and like it might actually be a racecar, but it isn't. It's made of rust and the engine sounds sick. It's battered and broken and the subframe is bent from a side-on collision. One day it might crumble away entirely but until then Sir Victory will drive it like he's at Goodwood. A very aggressive driver, mostly due to impatience, and he always wins the red light drag race.
Mercury:
It's a normal Ford Crown Victoria with a tank engine strapped to it. What? His holy calling is building and designing engines, of course this is safe and sane. Kind of a lackadaisical driver, obeys the rules when the mood strikes.
---
And just for fun, random other characters:
Qedivar:
1999 Audi A4. I just tried to imagine the most boring history professor tier car I could think of. It's in good condition for its age but it's never brought anyone a single scrap of joy in its entire life. Nobody smiles seeing this car and to this day Qedivar often fails to pick it out in a car park.
Huarvaa:
The legendary Renault Scenic RX4. It's big, it's 4-wheel drive, and it's a practical MPV. and it looks like it's constantly dipped in some kind of algae or perhaps sludge. Modified with a snorkel so it can drive through deep water. Still really rusty despite the plastic cladding.
Holly:
Rover Metro. It's incredibly spacious!!! Wow! He can't see over the wheel.
Finbarr Ó Casaide:
A Lupo. Literally the perfect car for his needs and he knows he must be conservative in how he goes about things. Yellow colour for the Ó Casaide clan, to show that he really does belong there, promise. A devastatingly precise driver; guns for the tiniest gaps and somehow makes it every single time, without putting others at risk or being particularly reckless. He will get you to your destination 20% faster than anyone else.
Olivier Tanet:
Ford F150, specifically an imported one from the US, specifically driven in a normal-sized place that is not built for stupid american cars (as in the photo). It is gigantic and it's in your rear view mirror 24/7. Helena might be a maliciously careless driver, but Olivier is just malicious. He wants you dead. His truck is part of an elaborate dick measuring contest that he intends to win. Plus side is that it's not a pavement princess, it goes offroad (it does doughnuts in your front garden)
#hi. this took me an hour and i only stopped when the post editor started chugging#i'm missing so many characters alas#rip jean baptiste you would have loved f1
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AITA for debating hiring outside help for my husband and I's house because we can't keep up alone?
For context: My (26 Fae ftm) husband (28M) live very happy and healthily together. While I'm unable to medically transition due to a bunch of reasons we'll get to, he has been nothing but a solid rock in my life and the one person that has always been on my side. Through dragging me out of an abusive household to helping me with my chronic illness, he's been an absolute angel despite dressing like the devil himself (he's goth). So I don't want any hate on him.
He is ADHD and I'm Autistic. Yes, hello, we are that couple~♡ This does cause us some issues tho as he is unmedicated and I'm just struggling in general with sensory issues for certain chores. So far we keep each other some what afloat, having him do chores that my sensory issues can't handle and my doing ones he can't focus through.
However, as previously mentioned I'm chronically ill. I won't get into many details but it's basically I'm internally bleeding at random intervals. And before people think I'm talking about just my period, no it's so bad that I have once had to go to the ER for a blood transfusion due to this internal bleeding and had times when I was bleeding for over 4 months straight.
My husband and I because of this condition are pretty much struggling financially. I can work but it makes me extremely fatigued since I'm essentially working with constant Anemia. It gets bad enough some days that he can't wake me up without over an hour of effort, even after I've slept 10hrs. The fatigue is REALLY bad. He works just as much as I do, sometimes more because his work is so shortstaffed and he likes to pick up extra shifts to try and save up for the surgery that would hopefully fix everything.
This has culminated though in us both being extremely exhausted near 24/7 for the last year-ish but we have finally hit a break. I recently got a huge pay increase (nearly $200 a week increase) so we are hopeful for the first time in months. We're starting to pay down my extreme medical debt and being able to just go get dinner when he doesn't want to cook.
Here's where I may be kind of TA... Despite this hope, my condition recently did get worse. I've now gone another 3 months still bleeding and having to suffer my Anemia symptoms and medication. This has caused me to fall massively behind on what should be my chores, and while my husband doesn't begrudge me it, it has caused our home to start becoming very, very unhygienic. As someone who grew up with a clean freak mother, it kinda upsets me. He's focusing more and more on me and less on the house so even his chores are falling behind too.
None of that is his fault. He loves me so much he wants to help Me first but it has gotten to where we are both going "we really need to clean the house..." but neither of us have enough battery to do so. Me becuz of my condition and he becuz he's stuck caring for me.
We have enough that we might be able to afford to hire a cleaning service to help us out, but it would cost us some of the freedom and paying down medical bills. I think it'd only be a temporary thing, once I recover from my current episode, we can probably get better... but I don't know how long it will be.
On top of this I'm worried paying for this service will further put off my surgery as we struggle to save up for it again... We've already had to tap into that savings cuz my current episode lost me 2 days at work.
Is it unfair for me to ask to use our new extra money for essentially my not wanting to have to bother doing basic chores? I know I'm tired but I've lived with it so long I could and should probably just push through.
What are these acronyms?
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