#and anyone who asks for one involving one of my OC's (if you remember my couple gushes i did talking about them)

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hello! Recently I've been reading your works (usually twst, disney and sometimes oc) and im really interested.

I would like to request yandere cinderella x reader please if thats okay!

Im not sure if there is any request rules i should follow since i cant really find any or if its open so sorry if i broke any of them! Btw no need to answer this if you aren't interested or dont have the energy, im just curious in how you would write them since they are very unique and nicely written. Remember please take care of yourself and take rest when you need to!! (since you literally post almost everyday)

I try I do post everday, though I'm surprised anyone noticed 🖤🖤🖤

Yandere Genderbend Cinderella x Reader

To say you didn’t like you’re step-brother would be an understatement. 

You hated him. 

Him and all that he stood for.

It was disgusting, how wicked Ellwick was to you and your family. Not wicked in the way that he looked down on you; more so in the way that his existence was an obstacle to yours. Currently he made it his mission to insert himself where he never belonged, constantly upending your rightful place. You remembered the time before the single father and son duo shoved their way into your family’s lives. It was peaceful, well as peaceful as life with your family could be. Guns, knifes, drugs, cement shoes–the life that meant serving your family and running the city from behind the scenes. Your mother, your brother, and the many associates that joined your family. 

What can you say? Blood is binding especially when spilt.

Cinder Ellwick and his father came into your home under the silly notion of ‘healthy’ love. As if fighting alongside one another wasn’t love, these men marched into your lives expecting to ‘fix’ your already perfect family. 

Your brother and the many others could spot the foolishness in their morale, unfortunately your mother could not. Which devastated her the moment her new husband got his rightful comeuppance. 

“He shouldn’t have joined the game, if he didn’t know how to play.” 

Your brother scoffed under his breath during your mother’s mournful eulogy. You couldn’t help but agree. Only irritating you more when your mother dressed in black brought the blonde-headed boy to you two saying something along the lines of him being a permanent burden on your family.

“It’s what he would’ve wanted.”

So what? It was his fault for getting involved! His fault for getting kidnapped! His fault for refusing to arm himself, when you warned him! So why did you, your family, have to live with the nuisance?

“I’m going to try my best, to be apart of this family. Properly this time.”

“That’s good to hear, Ellwick.”

Not long after that he took up the role as you’re family’s cleanup crew, eliminating those your family marked. Unpaid debts and traitors were his targets, the scum of your faction–perfect level for Ellwick to begin truly becoming apart of this family. You’d think that’d be enough for him to feel included. But that’s just like him to be so greedy.

“May I come with you on that mission?”

Ellwick asked, still panting from running down the halls from Mother’s office trying to catch up to you and your brother. You both were prepared, dressed to the nines in comparison to him who was in a dirtied leather suit. It'd be a burden and embarrassment for him to come.

Your brother laughed, ” No chance! Look at you covered in cinders again! What’d you do, wrestle your target in a fire pit?”

Ellwick awkwardly smiled as your brother held his stomach. Laughter rising and eyes widening as if he had an epiphany. He points at the blonde, who barely winces at the pressure.

“Kind of like–Cinderwick! Haha!” 

You rolled your eyes as he repeated the name inbetween his belly laughs. Ellwick’s smile was twitching on the otherhand turning his attention to you. Glaring at him you ushered your brother away, barely turning your head to the crushed boy.

“You can’t. We won’t be letting an outsider handle things as private as this.”

Many of your interactions would go like this. Cinderwick inserting himself in your personal business and you putting him in his place, your latest mission was no different. Only that you were older and more responsibility will have fallen to you. You had to step up more than ever.

“Alright my children as we discussed you will be infiltrating the gathering. Your target is the first son of the Mayor. Blackmail, romance him, kiss up, we need a foothold on the city. I can only trust my children.”

“Than why is he here?” 

You shifted your eyes to the blond hitman who was standing barely a foot you and your brother. Your mother sighed.

“We need all hands on deck. Our competitors are in attendance as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if they try anything and I just can’t have my babies be put in danger.”

She held both you and your brother’s cheeks pinching it a little. Leaning into her touch you happily smiled at her over-endearment. Whereas your brother recoiled and wriggled away nursing his cheek.

“Aw geez Ma will you stop.”

“Now my children.” She looked to Ellwick.”All my children. I wish you the best.” 

______________________________________________________________

It was almost commendable, how fast Cinderwick managed to do it. Wooing the son of the mayor and leading him on a wild goose chase that ultimately led to a grand proposal. To which he accepted. 

There was a nervousness about him being the victor; a sudden power handed to someone who wasn’t apart of the family. He was in a position of power, a position that allowed him to string your family along. 

“Congratulations my son! We’re happy you’ve found love in such a place!” 

Sugarcoated words and fake pearly smiles were the next step in the mission. Officially tying the mayor to your family…all with a man who wasn’t apart of the family. 

“Oh thank you step-mother! I can’t wait to have you and the family at our wedding.”

Your mother’s eye twitched at the ‘step’ but she maintained her smile letting Cinderwick cuddle into his fiance’s arm as they continued to chatter. It was revolting that it was he who returned to the estate with a cocky smile and a ring on his finger.

“Well you told all your children to do your best and they tried. So I will take the mantle up…as long as you agree to my terms.”

The following sentence had your mother sending you and your brother out of the room–treatment originally reserved for an outsider like him. Your brother stomped away dropping his emotionless persona, you followed.

“ARGH! How the heck did that slimy cinderblock idiot get ahead of us!? This is ridiculous!”

“...We tried…Arthur don’t do what I think you’re going to do.”

He turned to you the fire in his eyes directed to you.

“Tried?! We should’ve easily bested that bag of soot!” 

Turning back around he made his way to his office slamming his mini fridge open to reveal a plethora of beers and cheap wine bottles. You thought you threw those out. You debated staying as he quickly began to chug the drinks haphazardly dropping the finished cans to the ground. 

“Arthur. Don’t drink anything else.”

“Why!? Why wasn’t it me or you even!?”

“Well for one, typical romance isn’t exactly our field of expertise. I don’t know what you exp–”

You were cutoff by the ceramic smashing near the wall behind your head. Barely missing you it was lucky all you got was a cut from the ricochet glass shatter. It didn’t bother you, it seemed shallow, so you pressed further entering the room more. Closing and locking the door behind you as you closed in on your brother aiming to simply hug him. 

It didn’t stop his drinking bout but it did bring him to a wobbly pause. Letting you slowly walk him away from the desk the alcohol sat. As if he was being taunted once he got barely three steps away he wrenched himself from your grip darting towards the alcohol. In his raw distracted strength he barely pushed you back into the decorative cabinet. 

You would have repeated your attempt if it weren’t for the sudden grip of Ellwick’s leather glove on your wrist. Naturally you pulled yourself away or tried to. Struggling against his bone breaking hold, you ultimately relented as Arthur began to shove off the contents on his desk. Ellwick easily shoved you out of the room, successfully doing so. With that same force he pushes you against the wall, trapping you against it with his narrowed irises and presence alone.

“What are you doing?!”

“Its none of your business.”

“It is every bit my business! Why would you go anywhere near him when he’s in a drunken rage?”

“Because he’s family!” Your voice cracked with emotion, daring to look up at his softened blue eyes. With faux cough, you fixed yourself staring head on to the blonde before slipping past him.

“I don’t expect you to understand that though.”

Speed-walking out of the hall, your only goal was to return to your room hoping to finally relieve the burning sensation in your eyes. Ellwick on the other hand watched you walk away more specifically the cut that had let blood of yours trickle down. 

In a fury like none other Ellwick made his way to the closed door. It was time to end this. 

For good.

_____________________________________________________________

“My son. I want you to know I will always love your mother and I’ll never stop loving her.”

“Right.”

“But I’ve found someone who makes me happy! Someone who will cherish me and you!”

“Okay.”

“The thing is…she has a very different line of work.”

Ellwick wasn’t sold. Even as young as he was there wasn’t an inherent attraction to the mafia-life. When he had the chance to he’d read a torrent of love-stories and twisted family relations all with mafia environments. It usually ended in death, somehow bringing a foreboding cloud over this new developement. 

*Click*

“Whoa whoa little one I get that I’m not a replacement for any–”

“My gun. Take it.”

“E-excuse me?”

Ellwick didn’t really register you before this. Eyes widening as someone as tiny as you easily cocked and flipped the butt of a gun in the direction of his father. Wielding the weapon he’d only seen on those forbidden adult movies with such ease. A silent urgency on your part, you were offering your gun with a custom handle of your favorite color. 

It was an uncharacteristic show of kindness. 

The first he’d seen in a while. 

Since the announcement of your parent’s engagement there was a tension birthed among your closest members and your family. It was a clear sentiment that they dared not express with Ellwick in the room or their boss for that matter.

‘You’re going to be a target. You’re going to die.’

Everyone wanted to say it. Hint at it. But the air was too thick and they were too scared to break the silence. 

But not you.

You were the only one to tell it to him straight. Other than Ellwick himself. Of course the old geezer didn’t listen, avidly refusing to take your weapon and then attempting to get the weapon back from you.  

It made you his favorite.

To think underneath such a cold exterior there was something soft–small but soft. Its what Ellwick told himself when you’d glare and insult him. He’s never found himself doing the same for your mother and brother. Only finding it in him to imagine their tortuous ends at his hands, he could never do that with you. Even when he began to do his work, he’d be all the more motivated when imagining two-thirds of his step-family.

Step-family. He didn’t like that title.

He hated associating you with that.

He liked you a lot more than that of a step-family.

He could handle the exclusion, the insults, the glares, all of it but he couldn’t have you being in the arms of someone else. So he pulled something he’d thought he buried long ago, charming the mayor’s son. 

Having an influential leader’s heir willing to bend to his every whim and need made him powerful. 

A threat. 

So when your mother came to him practically begging for his forgiveness, Ellwick knew this was his chance to set everything in motion. So when you and your brother angrily departed he was prepared.

“The bit of your faction, handselected at my beck and call.”

“Done. You inform us of the policies and actions of the mayor?”

“Policies and upcoming legislation only. I’m not stalking my in-law.’

“Fine.“

“We meet once a month, I’ll come to you.”

“We can do that. Be willing to let your siblings visit you in-home during ermengenies?”

“Yes…I want (Y/n).”

“Excuse me?”

“I want (Y/n).

“You can’t be serious—”

“I am. I want full ownership of (Y/n) their activities, everything. Otherwise I’ll be inclined to fully inform the mayor and police department of what your true business entails.”

“I can’t possibly give you my child! Who do you think I am?!”

Ellwick made a face. Naturally and quickly pulling a gun out of his suit, earning a horrified reaction from his stepmother who was staring at the barrel. It’s not that Ellwick was unaware of the metal detectors and constant pat downs but when you’re a trained assassin this is light work.

“The same idiot, who thought’d I’d always be cleaning your messes. The same idiot who’s been ostracizing me and still put a gun in my hand.” 

He moved closer but not close enough for his step-mother’s garrote-technique to be effective. He was almost inclined to reveal his companions ‘guarding her door or the poisoned dart in his cuff link. But he decided it wouldn’t be needed…not today at least.

“The same idiot who’s blind to the abusive alcholic she raised. That is more than likely hurting (Y/n) right now.”

“What’re you–”

“That’s what your first-husband was like, right? An alchoholic who ran the mafia with an iron fist.”

“Enough!...Fine. You can take them with you after your honeymoon.”

“Before.”

“Why would you–” 

“Be-fore.”

“....It will be…done.”

When she finished, Ellwick had full intentions to find you. No doubt cooking up a barrage of insults to cutely angrily whisper behind you’re door. But before he could make it to your room, he heard the sound of glass shattering and muffled yelling.

He could only see red. Red as the cut that was bleeding on your skin. 

Seems like his role as the family’s ‘cleanup crew’ would come in handy.

[h0ney-dames]

Putting all the drama because someone just couldn’t let it die

All names have been blurred bar mine and the offenders, if you know anyone involved in this please keep them anonymous :)

This you ghosting me for a week because I stated my boundaries?

This you trying to turn me against people I trust? This you trying to “totally not force me” to change my opinion of my friends?

This you victim-blaming me in an SVR? A svr that I brought up my issue with the owner at the TIME of the incident and not months after and when no action was taken I elected to avoid and ignore you? This you after I felt uncomfortable so I told someone I trusted the information? This you? (Btw it should be “going behind someone's back” not “gone behind someone's back” Telling people I TRUST that you were being WERID IN MY DM’s, isn't going behind your back it's setting a boundary. If you tell me something no matter how hard I've promised I won't tell you that promise is null and void when it starts to affect me offline.)

This you asking to roleplay NSFW and make nsfw head canons with my OCs even tho I stated I was a minor? And you were also a minor? Who.. hmm… snuck their way into an NSFW channel, and flirted with people older who were uncomfortable? You knew I was a minor and you still decided NSFW was ok?

This you struggling to understand the term “I can't”? This not only happened once but on multiple occasions. You also oh I don't know, spammed me about 4 times a day when I stopped responding to you. I used to put myself on invisible any time you would DM me because I couldn't stand the thought of texting you without feeling the need to vomit!

This you claiming these are your highest kins after I changed my name to Damien and you proceeded to start going by Lasky (more openly? I'm unsure if you already went by that but you had never put it in any of your names till I started going by Damien, I didn't say it at the time but this made me uncomfortable. I'm aware I should have said something sooner.)

This you??

This you denying that gay has become an umbrella term? Don't worry babe you can still be gay! Just because it's an umbrella term doesn't mean it's not a sexuality! You know that right? This isn't the 1920s 🥰🤩

I was willing to not make a call-out post the first time but if you're willing to “bring a situation to light” then I'm willing to show the other corner.

I tried to handle this respectfully and with the dignity that you couldn't uphold. I will not let you drag me through the dirt without educating people on what you have done so that no one else has to cause themself mental stress. You haven't just upset me but others.

You broke boundaries that were put in place to keep others safe and only talked to people you believe would have benefited you or that you could somehow manipulate and blame others/your mental health is not a valid reason to be a fucking prick.

And if the person in the post sees this, one, is good! Two, take your issues up with me. I had my time, and I said my bit when it happened, you do not have a right to go pull up old drama to get people banned after YOU made them uncomfortable, not only did I have to change my boundaries because of people like you I also had to change how I trust people because YOU abused that trust

For anyone wondering where you can find this lovely LOVELY individual

This you?

Ps sweetheart your not 18, your 16-17 at most, 🥰😘

it's not a call out without their users now is it?

I apologise that this isn't my normal post, I was willing to not do a call-out the first time this happened, but it seems only reasonable if they are going to drag my name down :) Hope this helps you all avoid this creature

Happy Halloween everyone remember to lock up all your monsters real tight or they will start spreading bullshit :)

[bloop-bl00p]

Alastor could have been Native American

Before anyone screams racism, removal of representation, or whatever I redirect you to my post about the Voodoo representation of the show.

→ HERE ←

First thing first, Alastor is not a Wendigo but his cannibalism aspect led to fans believing the contrary, a belief that was pushed further with him being a deer. Wendigoes aren’t related to deer at all, they mostly look like men who are visibly starved and all. The deer thing came from pop culture.

Now you’re gonna ask..

“You’re all for representing properly religion and culture why would you want him to be American Indian if he’s not a proper wendigo?”

He could be a skinwalker with small elements of wendigo.

Here’s a small rewrite

It’s not related to Hell’s Safe Haven, I’ll be doing something different, feel free to take the idea for your oc if you want. But remember, Always do research :)

Why a skinwalker? They are shamans who started as healers but broke taboos from the culture which involve using their ability for harm and curses. If you’re smart then you should see where I’m going with this.

Rather than being an “evil voodoo man” Alastor could have been a shaman who transgressed important rules and became a skinwalker, one of these taboos is murdering a close relative to align with darker powers which pretty much fits for Alastor. Obliviously, you don’t villainize the whole culture, you can still show that shamanism, when not perverted by skinwalkers, can do good. Alastor’s mother could have also been a shaman and went to Heaven.

He could still have been a serial killer, stalking and learning the routine of his victims before killing them. Then he could have died in the snow because hunters noticed his activities in the forest, thanks to their dogs smelling the putrid flesh of the bodies he was carrying around, and then he got shot. Or you can have it that he managed to escape but got lost and had to eat part of the corpse he managed to get with him, but he also had to use their skin to not try and protect himself from the cold in vain partially linking him to Wendigoes.

In Hell, he could have looked like a starved disturbing-looking deer, starved because of wendigos and deer because that’s the animals he favored the most to lure people. In terms of powers, he could have the ability to reproduce people's voices through electronics mainly using radios to do so. A cool detail could be that these voices sound slightly disturbing and fake.

He completely took a more charming and refined aesthetic once in Hell to appeal to and manipulate others more easily. Skinwalkers are described as carrying bones I guess that could help for a possible redesign. Since his appearance is quite scary he could wear a hat to hide his face.

The actual critic

This is really a surface-level thing, it's a first draft based on Wikipedia, but you can’t say that it’s not remotely much more cohesive than whatever Viv is doing with Alastor.

This is something that absolutely frustrates me with the Hellaverse, Viv has very surface-level concepts, and she doesn't do enough research to bring them to their potential. It happens with Voodoo, the Goetia, the Seven Deadly Sins, and the whole pantheon of biblical figures.

What she does is she takes these cool ideas and slaps them onto her oc without much thought.

Take an example with Andrealphus, he teaches math and geometry so one of my first thought is to give me space manipulation. This means he can basically change your location in an enclosed space, turn an entire room around, and twist it to his liking. With his knowledge of maths and geometry, he knows what to do specifically to make you land exactly where he wants which makes him extremely hard to fight inside a house, especially if it’s a big place.

He could also completely reshape the laws of geometry and physics, how funny would it be to see that he lives in a small house, not taking much place but then you go outside and discover it’s basically a whole castle? It’s generic but it makes sense and makes places for lots of interesting scenes for fights or just aesthetics.

Vivziepop chose to give him ice power, for some reason. I mean math isn’t really an attractive notion in terms of supernatural abilities but you can still do something interesting with it. Unless his castle is a geometrical wet dream, I don’t see a possible link between the two. It’s a matter of creativity and the willingness to do research to cultivate it, she doesn't have that.

If you just slap very specific labels (like voodoos) on a character without thinking about how it could work for them and affect the world around them (if voodoo works then the Lwas exists), then not only you are not doing your “job” as a writer but you are just doing it for the aesthetic. It’s not wrong to do if it’s mundane things like saying that one character knows how to speak Latin, but in some cases, you gonna have to be careful about what you write in your stories.

[lostloveletters]

Sweetheart Grip (John Egan x OC)

Summary: Day 21 - Gun Play. Bucky remembers hearing somewhere that a girl is a gun. [AO3 link | Kinktober 2024 Masterlist]

Note: This is probably trashy and in poor taste but whatever! Visual reference for what a sweetheart grip is can be found here.

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Inevitable historical and technical inaccuracies, obviously unsafe handling of a gun. Sexually explicit content involving elements of gunplay.

Holly’s eyebrows furrowed when she looked down the long, unfamiliar hallway. Still, at a quarter after seven, she walked until she got to the third door on the left, as she was asked to do earlier that day. Filled with boxes and miscellaneous supplies, all covered in a thin coat of dust, it was almost like everyone had forgotten about that back office, though the lights turned on when she flipped the switch. She wondered how Bucky even knew about it, considering he hadn’t even worked as an Air Exec for all that long.

No evidence of him around, but she’d wait. Sometimes he ran a little late to their rendezvous, so she made herself comfortable on top of the desk in the corner of the room, her legs swinging back and forth above the scuffed floor until she heard footsteps approaching.

Bucky smiled when he saw her, closing the door behind him. “No one saw you, right?”

“I don’t think so.” The lock clicked. “Sounds like you wanna get us in trouble.”

“I’m trying to keep us out of trouble.”

She hopped down from the desk, a bit hesitant as she walked over to him. “You’ve been acting kind of cagey lately. You know you can talk to me, right?”

“I know that, doll. I’m just not great at surprises, and I didn’t wanna ruin it before it was ready.”

The corners of her lips turned up slightly. “What surprise?”

He stuck his hand in his jacket pocket, making his way over to the desk she’d been sitting on. She eagerly followed, startled to see a gun on top of the worn wood grain until she took a closer look at the grip.

“Oh my god, that’s me!”

He grinned. “Who else?”

“How’d you do this? With the photo and everything?”

“Wasn’t that hard to get Woody on board. She did one hell of a job,” he said.

She took his face in her hand, standing on her toes to kiss him. “It’s so… sexy,” she confessed, her cheeks flushed pink. “Makes me feel like I’m the girl in one of those gangster pictures or something.” Her hand hovered just above the grip. “Can I?”

“It’s not loaded, but be careful.”

“How do I hold this thing like I know what I’m doing?” 

He shrugged his jacket off and came up behind her, positioning her arms before placing his hands over hers. “Always treat it like it’s loaded, and don’t point it at anyone unless you wanna shoot ‘em.” 

His fingers caressed the middle knuckle on her left hand, where the raised scar was. When he initially bandaged up her hand, he honestly didn’t think she needed stitches. It was too late for that when he unwrapped the gauze to redress the wounds and noticed how oddly the broken skin over her knuckle was healing. She claimed she didn’t mind.

“So you put your finger on the trigger—”

“And then I say, ‘Put the money in the bag and nobody gets hurt.’”

He laughed, the soft rumble of his body, so close to hers, made her eyes flutter shut for a moment. The day when they wouldn’t have to sneak around the way they did couldn’t come soon enough. At the very least, if Chick knew about their relationship, he tolerated it, even if he couldn’t outright condone it. They were better together.

“Alright, Bonnie, then what?” he asked, his lips close to her ear.

“We hide out in a nice hotel somewhere, lay low for a while,” she said softly.

A pleased hum rolled through his chest. “I like the sound of that, you and me in bed for a week.”

She glanced up at him, a slight smile on her lips to find him staring down at her. 

Licking her lips, she looked at the pistol nestled in their hands. “Pull the trigger.”

“What?”

“You said it’s not loaded. I just wanna see.”

He glanced at her, intrigued by her request, even more so by the strange look in her eyes. Bringing his gaze forward, his finger curled to the sound of an empty click. A shiver ran down his spine as she gasped, pressing herself against him.

“Do it again.”

Click.

Her voice was breathy. “Again.”

Click.

“Are you getting off on this?” he asked, his voice hoarser than he was expecting.

She tilted her head back against his chest, shameless in the face of his accusation. “Why, are you?”

He swallowed roughly. Of course she could feel his cock growing hard in his trousers, pressed against her back as closely as he was. Wanted to give some smart response, but found himself unusually flustered by the situation.

“Jesus Christ, Holly.”

It was as if he blinked, and she bent over the desk, her panties and stockings pulled down to her knees, her skirt hiked up over her ass. He placed the gun down next to her, the grip right in her line of sight. Mesmerized, she stared at it, the plexiglass-encased photo of herself smiling back at her. His hands shook as he rushed to free his cock, straining almost painfully against his clothing.

“Do you have a condom?” she asked.

“I think so—”

“You better,” she said, looking at him from over her shoulder through half-hooded lids, her dark brown eyes nearly pinning him in place. “I know you’re not shooting blanks, are you, Major?”

“Fuck,” he whispered. “Fuck���fuck—just hold on—”

He searched frantically through his jacket pockets until he found one and tore open the packaging to slip it on. Something in his brain was short-circuiting, the way she looked at him, spoke to him, he nearly whined when she called to him with a gentle, “Baby?”

She bit hard on her lip when Bucky pushed inside her, frustration crashing over her when she tasted blood. She wanted him to hear how good he was making her feel. But for the time being, she reached back, placing a hand over one of his that was gripping her waist. Her thumb rubbed against his skin gently, and upon looking at the pistol again, she felt overwhelmed by her sweet, sentimental, sensitive Bucky. Something about the way he looked at her, held her, transcended mere affection, actually made her feel like a person again.

“You’re so good to me,” she said, as softly as she could manage, though a moan caught in her throat when she added, “You’re everything.”

Never thought she’d find a man who could make her feel that way again, her heart pounding against her ribcage as if about to burst through so she could present it to him in kind. 

She withdrew her hand from its place on top of his to grip the edge of the desk. So close, so fucking close she could scream. Bucky was never all that good at keeping quiet, even when they had to be, like then, with his face buried in the crook of her neck to muffle the sound of his moans.

“Please,” he whimpered against her skin, “doll, please.”

“I know, baby. I’m almost—fuck—keep going.”

It was the sweetheart grip that pushed her over the edge. She wasn’t sure why she curled her fingers around it, dangerous and intimate, the thrill it sent through her set her off, pleasure tearing through her so violently that she could hardly hold herself up on top of the desk. Her chest lay flush against it when Bucky came, and for a few moments afterward, the room was unnervingly silent save for their heavy breathing.

“Christ,” Bucky groaned as he pulled out.

“Are you alright?” she asked. “Was that—was I too much?”

“If I knew you had that in you, I would’ve gotten this a lot sooner.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t wanna scare you off.”

She smiled, leaning up on her elbows to look at him over her shoulder again. “If you wanna get rid of me, it won’t be that easy, Major.”

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 35 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

OK, so it's long and there may be a treat at the end 😉

WARNING: 18+, you've been warned!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @imusicaddict, @b00ks1ut , @mstiemountainhop, @awaterfalls anyone else please let me know.

George leaned in placing a gentle kiss on my cheek before handing me over to Don. We pressed ourselves together as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn’t say anything as we rocked. I rested my head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat. 

I was so tired fighting with him, I missed being in his arms.

“Are you still mad at me?” He asked gently, his voice rumbling in his chest I laid my head on. 

“Yes.” I said curtly. “But I’m more sad than angry.” 

“I’m sorry for my cruel words and accusations. I’m sorry for hurting you.” He whispered

“It doesn’t matter anyway you don’t believe me.”  

“That’s not true, I do believe you.” 

I pulled back to look into his eyes. “What? But you said you wanted space?” 

“I did. You basically blew my mind, more than once! I needed some space, to breathe, to think, to wrap my head around what you had shown me. I understand I was cruel and I didn’t handle the situation very well. I stormed off and left you to think the worst, and then I ignored you for a couple of days. And for that I’m sorry, that was never my intention, but you do have to understand that at that moment I wasn’t thinking very clearly.” 

I nodded my head as I listened to him. 

“I still can’t believe you’re from 2023.” Don shook his head in amazement. 

“Hey, shhh. Not so loud!” I pulled him closer looking around to make sure no one had heard him. 

“You’re the only person who gets to know this secret about me. Also I’m not telling you anything about the future ‘cause I’m not going to spoil it, but also I can’t remember most of what happens.”   

Don laughed and smiled down at me. I felt my heart swell, I had been so sad without him that my whole body ached. But with just one smile I felt as if I could fly. The feeling didn’t last long when reality crashed back down, I would still have to leave. 

Malarkey seemed to be able to read my inner thoughts as his face grew more serious again. 

“I spoke to Speirs.” 

I cautiously raised my glance towards him.

“You’re not planning on coming home.” He sounded disappointed and hurt, I could see it all swirling behind his brown eyes. 

“I can’t.” I bit my lip as he sighed. Don was the only person I could now truly explain myself to. 

“If the shimmer appears again, I think I have to go.” I explained to him, but he shook his head. 

“Who told you that?” 

“No one told me that, but I don’t think I would be allowed to stay.” 

“And why is that?” Don questioned. 

“Well, what if I stay and the things I do change the course of the future and the world falls apart because of it. This isn’t my timeline to change. There is a theory called the butterfly effect. It's basically one small change in the atmosphere that can cause chaos elsewhere. If I stay and alter the present it may detrimentally affect the future.” I rambled on as his brows knitted together. 

“But you’ve been here for months, wouldn’t that have affected the future?” He asked. 

I sighed, shaking my head, “That’s not just the only reason I can’t stay. Don, I wouldn’t be able to get back into America. I’m not legally a citizen. I wasn’t born there, I have no identification, I don’t even have a family who can vouch for me.” 

I watched him bite his cheek as he thought. “Surely there would be another way?” 

“Can we discuss this another time? I came out to clear my head, not worry more about things.” I pleaded. I was fighting panic attacks most of the time when I started thinking about my choice. 

My biggest fear when I was younger was death, an odd fear for a child to have. But when your mother is diagnosed with an incurable cancer and is told she only has so long to live, the fear of death is explainable. 

I remember laying in bed thinking of dying, the thoughts were so overwhelming, all the unknown. Suddenly I would be here alive and then I wouldn’t, buried under ground. Would I get to live again, or was that it? Would I be content with my life, even thinking of it now sent my heart racing and stomach twisting. 

I never thought I would have a worse fear. 

Turns out when you lose everyone you loved, death seems more enticing. 

Now I’m back in a space where I am loved and love others, and the fear of death creeps back in. 

However my death has a new face, a new perspective. 

Do I stay and potentially cause so much chaos the world falls around me, killing everyone I love. Or do I leave those who I cherish most, in a world I can never return back to, being unsure if I saved their lives, and never getting the answers I want. 

The choice had me spiralling, and now I had another factor. Don knew my choice, and he knows what he wants me to choose. I know he will choose selfishly, I don’t blame him. But it’s my choice in the end, and I can’t be responsible for more death. 

“Hey, I’ll drop it. Don’t look so worried.” Don’s fingers found my chin lifting it slightly to meet his eye line as we swayed. His hand dropped down to my racing heart. 

“It’s ok.” Malarkey cooed softly, pulling me in. I dragged in deep breaths trying to calm myself before I slipped into a panic attack. 

“Can we talk about anything else, please?” I whispered shakily. 

Don pulled back as he nodded his head. “You’re beautiful. I didn’t get to tell you.” 

The comment quickly pulled my focus as a blush spread across my cheeks. 

“When I saw you under the starlight, I just about fainted.” He smiled brightly down at me. 

“Ok big guy, I said talk about something else not lie to me.” I chuckled, patting his chest. 

“Lie to you. Emily, my god!” 

“What?” I exclaimed as he looked at me incredulously. 

“You seduced me in the middle of war when we barely showered and wore the same clothes for days on end. Even then I thought you were so fucking sexy. And then you come out in this dress all done up. I lost my goddamn mind when I saw you. All I can stare at is your plump red lips and all I can think about is how badly I want to rip this dress off of you.” Don whispered in my ear, his lips trailing the sensitive skin under my jaw. 

My eyes widened as thoughts flooded my head, I couldn’t stop thinking about Don ripping the dress from my body and then devouring me. 

I swallowed trying to focus on him, but the smirk he held as he glanced down at me sent me reeling. I fanned my hot face, trying to calm down my racing mind. 

“Got you all hot and bothered did I?” Don chuckled into my ear. 

I opened my mouth ready to retort when Lieb cut in. 

“You two, let’s go, the bar’s closing!” He yelled. We looked around the room, finding that everyone else had cleared out and the barman had started aggressively sweeping towards us, signalling for Don and I to leave. 

I hadn’t even said goodbye to any of the ladies I had come with. I hoped they got home safe. Don took my hand and led me out of the bar. The rest of Easy stood outside waiting for us, they smoked and talked amongst themselves. Seeing that we had finally come out, they started back towards the camp. 

Don and I walked behind the group, our hands intertwined. 

“I love all of you.” Don whispered in my ear. I looked up at him shocked. “I know you Em, you can’t hide anything from me.” 

“You knew I would be upset about that?” I asked. “I’m surprised you even remembered.” 

“Emily, I remember every conversation I have with you. You are permanently seared into my brain.” He lifted our hands kissing the back of mine. 

It was weird to think he thought about me as much as I did him. I hadn’t been loved like this in so long. I would miss it. I shook the thought from my head before it consumed my mind. I wanted to focus on the now, I would cross that bridge when I came to it. 

********************************

We finally arrived back at the base. Don and I bid goodnight to the men as they all headed back to bed. But Don stayed at my side. 

“Are you not going to bed?” I asked as I nudged him with my elbow. 

“Not unless you’re coming with me.” 

I laughed loudly, trying to muffle the sound with my palm, I didn’t need to wake the whole base. 

“What has got into you?” I playfully hit him as he grinned.   

“You.” Don’s lips fell onto my cheek, kissing me gently. 

“Don.” I whispered harshly, trying to look around to make sure we weren’t spotted. 

“Yours or mine?”

“What?” 

“Are we going to my bed or yours?” He elaborated. 

I gawked at the man, at a loss for words. He didn’t give me a chance to choose, scooping me up into his arms, he headed towards my bed.  

My room was a single bed, with no roommates. The army was still trying to enforce the no fraternising policy, and had separated me from the men. Little did they know I spent months on end sleeping in holes with the lot of them.  

Don refused to put me down to unlock the door, as I awkwardly reached out from his arms trying to get the key into the hole, his inability to keep still was making it harder than it needed to be.  

“Open the door.” Don laughed as I missed the lock for the millionth time. 

“Put me down and this would be a lot faster.” I said in a sarcastic sing-songy tone. 

“Never!” He declared triumphantly as he nuzzled his face into my neck. I yelped, trying to fend him off as well as open the door. 

Finally after wrangling Don, I got the door unlocked. I was going to turn around to give Don a shit eat grin but the tall redhead had other plans. Like a golden retriever on steroids, he bolted into the room and threw me onto the bed. I flew through the air at a great speed, landing in a heap on the soft comforter. 

I lifted my head to look at the man in disbelief, only to find his whole body flying towards me, arms outstretched like a tiger pouncing on its prey.  

“Don!” I yelled in what felt like slow motion as he descended upon me. His lips smashed into my cheeks as he peppered my face and neck with kisses. 

“What is going on?” I tried to pull him back to ask him but he wiggled free as he nipped and sucked at my bare skin. 

“You, Emily, have been taunting me all night in that dress.” He panted breathlessly as he finally ceased his assault. Don’s eyes met mine and the need that exuded from his pupils had my heart pumping. 

“I thought I looked nice, but not that nice.” I uttered in shock. 

“You’re kidding?” Don shook his head in disbelief. 

“You look like a goddess. As soon as I saw you I knew I was done for.” The comments from Don made my cheeks hot. Never in my life had I ever felt desirable, and here he was almost drooling over me. 

“I think you need your eyes checked or something.” I joked half heartedly, Don gaze was pinning, so much so it caused goosebumps to raise on my skin.

Malarkey’s eyes darkened. "I think your eyes need to be checked, sweetheart. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and if you think I'm going to let you talk like that, you're wrong."

My mouth fell open at his bold statement, a nervous chuckle falling from my lips, but his comment vibrated straight through my core. 

“I don’t think you understand the absolute chokehold you have on me.” Don’s eyes bored into my soul. 

Teeth found my lower lip biting gently, but it wasn’t mine. Don had captured my face in his hands pulling me forward to take my lower lip into his mouth. I couldn’t stop the moan that fell from my lips as my hands dragged down his back. In moments his mouth was on mine, kissing me with such hunger it was as if he was starved. 

His hands slid from my jaw up into my hair, tangling at the base of my neck as he pulled gently, causing me to gasp. Don had me pinned to the bed, his weight bearing down on me, we were so close I could feel the heat growing between us. I couldn’t help myself as I bucked my hips up into him, he groaned into my mouth as our tongues explored each other. 

My hands fell to his top, ripping open the buttons of his shirt, I heard them clatter to the floor but paid no mind as I helped Don remove his clothes. 

Don was much more gentle with my dress. He stood from the bed pulling me with him. Malarkey bent down gathering the hem as he slid it up my legs slowly, pressing his hands into my inner thighs as he did so. 

I lifted my hands over my head as he slowly stood, pulling the dress with him. Don kissed me gently on the lips before he removed the dress altogether. For some reason I felt more exposed and vulnerable than the last time we were together. I covered my arms over my stomach, aware of how on show I really was. 

Malarkey’s brows furrowed as he watched me. He stepped closer pulling me into him. Don captured my wrists bringing them back down to my sides.

His fingers traced down my arms, swirling across my stomach as he circled me like a shark. His fingers trailed my skin as he walked around me. I physically shivered as Don’s hot breath fanned my bare shoulders. Taking my hand he led me over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. I stood in the reflection still wearing my undergarments, Don stood behind me only wearing his pants. 

Malarkey pressed my back into his chest as he watched me in the mirror. His lips found my ear as he pressed soft kisses to my sensitive skin. 

“Do you see how fucking stunning you are?” Don asked as his hands travelled down my skin.

I shook my head, I only saw plain old me, nothing special, nothing remarkable. I never found myself to be beautiful or attractive, I was just me. 

“Should I spell it out for you?” Don whispered as he continued to stare at me in the mirror. 

“I love your curls, how they frame your big eyes and gorgeous face, they cascade down your pretty neck to your shoulders.” He presses kisses to each part of my body. 

“Your chest, that drives me wild.” His fingers dipped inside my bra playing with my hard nipples. 

I shivered as his fingers traced down the middle of my abdomen, I tilted my head back into the crook of his shoulder sighing in pleasure.

“Focus.” He muttered, bringing my head forward again to look in the mirror.

“Those curves.” I giggled as he lightly glided over my hips tickling me as he went. 

“Every part of you is perfect, Emily. I will never stop telling you how much you mean to me.” 

Even in the heat of it all his words had me choking up. Tears welled in my eyes. I took a shaky breath trying to regulate my feelings. No one had ever loved me, all of me, and voiced it so openly. I had never been loved so fiercely. 

“I love you so much, Don. I love you so much it hurts.” I let the warm tears slip down my cheeks as I turned and buried my face into his chest.   

Don’s laugh vibrated through me. I raised my head, watching his eyes crinkle at the sides as he tipped his head back laughing even harder. 

“What’s so funny?” I asked confused. 

“I’m trying to make love to you, and instead I’ve made you cry.” I couldn’t help but join in the hysterics. I grinned up at the man as he finally found his composure looking back down at me. 

“I love you so much it hurts too.” My face cracked, I didn’t think I could smile any bigger. I lunged at Don, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him. I cupped his face in my hands as he bent down to deepen the kiss. 

“So what are you waiting for? Make love to me already, big man.” Even though I had asked for it I couldn’t help the yelp that left my lips as he picked me up and carried me back over to the bed. 

He laid me gently on the bed, his fingers dragged the rest of the clothes off my body. My hands found the belt of his pants, hastily undoing the fastenings and tugging them down until we were both exposed fully. 

We kissed each other hungrily, needing to be closer to each other than ever before, like we wanted to crawl into each other’s skin. His fingers traced my every curve, memorising me with his fingertips. I did the same, my lips trailed down his body, licking and sucking as I went. I watched in satisfaction as his head fell back against the bed as sighs and moans left his lips. 

I had never felt so wet in my life, my need dripping down my legs. Through hazy eyes Don reached down between my legs swirling over my core, I muffled my screams into his neck. 

Don flipped us over so I was on my back and he loomed over me. His face hovered over mine as he stared lustfully down at me. 

I wriggled in anticipation, I could feel him resting on my stomach, I needed him inside me. 

“What are you waiting for?” I breathed softly. 

“You.” Don murmured, his voice low and filled with need. 

“I’m all yours Don, no need to wait.” 

“All mine?” Don couldn’t stop the smirk that spread across his lips. 

“And I’m all yours. No one can ever take you from me, they will have to pry you from my cold dead hands.” Don’s lips brushed mine as he spoke, sending shivers up my spine. 

I smiled up at the beautiful man that lingered above me. Who would’ve thought that putting my hand somewhere it wasn’t supposed to be, I would end up with the most breathtaking love I had ever experienced. 

Don lips pulled me from my thoughts as he crashed down into mine. His hips ground against mine, causing gasps and squeals to leave my throat. 

Malarkey raised up onto his forearms, one hand snaked down to between us. I watched him move himself to my entrance, his eyes flicking up to confirm with me I was ready. I bit my lip nodding my head. My hands found his hips as he slowly slid forward into me. 

I sucked in a breath as he slowly pushed into me, I watched his eyes squeeze shut as she held his breath. We stilled together, before he rocked back. The action caused pleasure to ripple through my body. I gripped his shoulders, pulling him down onto me. 

“God, you feel so good.” Don breathed out, his voice thick with need. 

I couldn’t form a sentence as my head swirled with lust. The only noises that left my mouth were moans and whimpers of pleasure. My fingers dug into the soft flesh of his back as he moved slowly in and out of me, his pace beginning to fasten as ragged breaths fell from his lips.  

Don gripped my hips, angling himself so that he was thrusting deeper inside of me. 

“Don.” I gasped, my head falling against the bed as my eyes rolled back in my head. 

“Don’t stop, please.” I begged, I had never heard my voice so desperate. 

Malarkey shifted from his position drawing out of me quickly, I whined at the loss of his cock. My head shot up from its place on the bed, I gawked at the man. But my shocked glare didn’t last long as he stood at the end of the bed, bending forward he gripped my hips and tugged me down to him. 

With my hips hanging off the end bed, Don’s hands clutched around my ass lifting me to meet him. I arched my back as he slammed back into me with no warning. A strangled scream left my lips as pleasure coursed through my veins. 

Now only my shoulder blades made contact with the comforter, the rest of my body was suspended in the air. Don moved in and out of me faster, the sounds of our heavy breathing and bodies slapping together filled the small room. 

My hands found my breasts, squeezing them as Don slammed in and out of me, cursing silently under his breath as he watched me. 

“You’re so fucking stunning, Em.” Don growled lowly. 

In one smooth motion Don flipped me onto my front. My feet were placed on the floor as he gripped my hips. The angle we were in meant that he plunged in deeper than before, hitting the spot that made my eyes roll back in my head and toes curl. Don’s fingers tangled in my curls pulling me so that he could kiss me. His free hand snaked around my waist pulling me closer. 

With every thrust I came nearer to my edge. Don’s lips attacked my neck, nipping and sucking as he went. I gripped onto his arm that held me tightly to him, my nails digging into his flesh, I felt as if I were about to float away if I wasn’t anchored down. 

I whined as Don left me, clutching to his arm to keep me on my feet. 

“I want to see you finish.” Malarkey whispered in my ear, his hands found their way under my thighs as he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him, as he walked us back to the bed. 

Don lay me back down as he hovered above me, his lips pressing to mine as he slid back inside me. I sighed in satisfaction as he filled me up again.

“I love you.” I whispered breathlessly when his lips left mine. 

“I’m glad we found each other.” Don replied back, finally sending me to my finish. I shuddered underneath him as he did the same. With our breaths mingling and bodies intertwined, we completed each other. 

--------------------------------------

Chapter 36

[wishingforatypewriter]

October 10: Fire + Blow to the Head

Written (late) for Day 10 of Whumptloktober. This is another short Linzolt oneshot (featuring my OC Cobra) that loosely follows Decent Things.

Zolt had known the Agni Kais were pissed that he quit to start his own triad, but he hadn’t realized they were pissed enough to try and drop a building on him. He’d been having lunch at Jo’s Dumpling House in Little Caldera—just as he’d done every Tuesday afternoon since he was fifteen—when he heard two fire blasts from outside, and then suddenly the roof was coming down. The last thing he remembered was blasting the front door open—those bastards had locked it good—and ushering the panicked civilians through the opening before he blacked out. 

He was already calculating how much he’d have to give the owner to rebuild before he came to. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was his Linny, pacing around, angry as a storm encroaching, and Cobra trying to talk her down. 

“That’s it, I’m calling an ambulance.” 

“Meilin, I know you’re worried, but that’s not how we do things in our line of work,” he said with a sigh. “Hospitals ask questions, the cops get involved—” 

“I don’t give a fuck; he’s been out for hours!” she said, stopping her pacing and whirling on Cobra. “We’ll be lucky if he hasn’t slipped into a coma already.” 

Zolt could hear the panic rising in her voice with every word. Despite the flashing pain in his head, he forced himself to sit up. “Linny, he’s right,” he said, surprised at how weak his voice sounded. 

Lin was at his side within seconds, one hand on his chest, gently urging him back down onto the pillows. “How do you feel?”

“Like a building fell on me,” he said with a chuckle that ended in a wince. 

Lin rolled her eyes and rested a hand against his cheek. “This is why I told you to stay the fuck out of Agni Kai territory,” she said sharply before nodding at Cobra. “And I’m sure he did, too.”

“Many times,” Cobra added. 

Great. All Zolt needed now was these two ganging up on him. “Were there casualties?” 

“No,” Lin said with a look of muted relief. “You were the last one out. The two adjoining buildings went down in the fire.” 

Zolt nodded, winced, glanced at Cobra. “We need to dip into the treasury to make them whole.” 

Cobra shook his head. “This is on the Agni Kais.” 

“The Kais aren’t gonna pay anyone until they figure out who’s leading them,” he said. “We take care of them now, and the Threats have a foothold in Little Caldera for years to come. Get them the money tonight.” 

Cobra looked less than convinced, but merely sighed. “I’ll handle it,” he said simply. “There are two fighters posted outside the door in case the Agni Kais try anything else, and two more downstairs in front of the building.”

“Thank you,” Lin told him, just as Zolt drew a breath to call the measure unnecessary.

Once he heard the door close behind Cobra, Zolt took Linny’s hand and brought it to his lips. Her eyes narrowed, but she made no move to pull it away. 

“I’m sorry if I made you worry, baby.” 

“Who said I was worried?” she replied, rolling her eyes. 

Zolt grinned at her. “I did say if.”

“And I said be careful,” Lin replied. “Guess we’re both bad at listening.”

[perfectprofessorloverapricot]

Finding purpose | Male OC (or male reader) Chap 4

Summary: In a world that is dying and there is no way of saving it, the humanity takes mater into their own hands. They flee from their home planet with hope of conquering another in order to survive. Among them, a couple of brothers with no idea what they're doing.

Pairings: Jake sully × Oc (friendship), Tsu'tey × Oc (friendship), Neytiri × Oc (friendship). [No current love interest]

Warnings: Mention of violence, mention of death, manipulative behavior, use of drugs, bad ways of coping mechanisms and obscene language.

Note: - This is not a request and it's the translation of the original story in wattpad. - My native language it's not English - The Oc's name is Eli Thompson. - Edited

Prev part - Masterlist - Next part

With the second day at Pandora over, the soldiers documented their experiences of what they saw and felt while driving an avatar for the first time. It wasn't anything as detailed as a scientist would describe with the technical names of the neural connection between bodies or something. It was simple. They described it as an experience that couldn't be expressed with enough words or an experience that would blow anyone's mind. They called it a day and proceeded to fall into the arms of Morpheus.

The next day, the routine began like the previous one, they got up, took a bath and went to the cafeteria to eat.

But they never expected that after eating they would be directly called by a pilot to follow them to an area that they are already more familiar with from their years in the army, proclaiming that the colonel wanted to see them.

The woman introduced herself to them as Trudy, detailing that by orders of who they were going to see, she would be the designated pilot for the expeditions that involved them.

"You guys are packing some heavy gear." Jake commented as he saw the ammunition that was being loaded into the Samsun that she indicated as hers.

On the other hand, Eli was looking around, almost feeling nostalgic. Comfortable in his environment, but that did not bring him the best feelings. The last time he was in a place like this was when he presented his resignation letter caused by the disaster on his last mission. The same mission that almost took his life.

He felt a shiver run down his spine as he remembered it.

"Yeah. That's 'cause we're not the only thing around out there. Or the biggest." Trudy replied, with a small tone of amusement at the end. "I need you as gunners. Protocol generally asks me to take 2 soldiers for 1 scientist, but we are short staffed. You would be a lot of help tomorrow."

Eli turned to look at the woman with surprise, but a hint of relief. He wasn't cut out for science and he had to confess that he missed the adrenaline. So much time without being a Marine is already starting to take its toll on him. "Do they really have weapons but enough for avatars?" Eli asked.

Trudy gave him a toothy smile. She almost felt like she was seeing a child after being told that there are going to be gifts for Christmas. "You'd be surprised what toys the RDA can make. Fill out an application saying it's to improve mission performance and they'll give you whatever you want."

Jake nodded in satisfaction. Even if his avatar body was not his own, the idea of entering a hostile forest unarmed only to experience his death firsthand was not the best of ideas. "Well then, you can count on us." Jake said, responding to the request made a few seconds ago. Eli nodded.

"Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow then." She ended the conversation by stopping in front of a slightly more private section among all the mess caused by the army. She pointed to a man exercising in the corner. "There's your man. See you on the flight line." As a last act, she bumped fists with them to say goodbye.

Both soldiers approached the boss, stopping at the metal frame of the security-like cage created for those who wish to exercise and remain out of danger from the rest of the machinery in the place. "You wanted to see us, Colonel?"

"This low gravity'll make you soft…" the colonel began to speak while still doing the bench presses. His voice came out slightly with difficulty due to the effort of speaking and lifting weight. "You get soften…" to give more drama to the moment, Quaritch roughly put the weights in its place, sat up and looked them in the eyes very seriously. "Pandora will shit you out dead with zero warning."

Eli mentally snorted. He had already heard a lot about how dangerous the planet is, but no one had told him how good it could be and he is beginning to believe that someone ordered them to specifically tell them that just to scare them. To mess with the rookies or something like that.

The Colonel stood up and walked until he was in front of them. "You have a lot of courage showing up in this neighborhood." Both soldiers remained silent. The man's tone showed that he was not finished. "You are the best proof that a soldier cannot be defeated… Both wounded in combat and look where you are." Quaritch walked past them and held out his hands for emphasis to show where they were. On the most hostile planet known to man.

"It's just another hell, sir." Jake answered as he turned the chair around.

Quaritch smiled at the attitude. That fearless look is just what he needed to see to continue with his plan. With a nod he indicated for them to follow him. "I was first recom myself. A few years ahead of you. Well, maybe more than a few. Three tours Nigeria, not a scratch. I come out here?…" he turned around walking backwards to point at his scar on the side of his head. "Day one. Think i felt like a shavetail louie? Yeah."

Eli nodded his head, turning to see some soldiers pulling a weapon big enough for the robot suits like the one they were walking to at that moment. A weapon the same size as his body and he bets 3 times heavier.

"Oh, the could fix me up, if I rotated back. And make me pretty again." He paused to climb onto one of the robot's legs and gave it a few strong tugs to test its resistance. Satisfied with the result, he turned back to the couple of friends. "But you know what? I kind of like it. Reminds me every day what's waiting out there."

Before he began climbing the robotic suit, he signaled for the soldiers to ride the elevator next to the suit and stay out of the way.

"The avatar program is a bad joke. Bunch of limp-dick science majors. However..." his voice came out with difficulty as he climbed up the suit until finally falling inside. "It does present an opportunity both timely and unique."

Eli crossed his arms and leaned on one leg to pay attention. The platform he had stood on with Jake finally stopped at the Colonel's level.

"CLEAR." The man shouted as he grabbed the controls of the machine. Someone behind the ex-Marines yelled for them to clear the area. The Colonel pressed the buttons on the panel, satisfied when the engine came to life. "Recon gyrenes in avatar bodies. That's a potent mix. Give me the goose bumps." He said with the slightest laugh in his words. He seemed to find the situation amusing. "Men like that would give me the intel I need, right on the ground. Right on the hostiles' camp" After calibrating the controls to his liking, he turned to the soldiers in a slightly more serious tone. "Listen. I want you to learn these savages from the inside. I want you to gain their trust. I need to know how to force their cooperation or hammer them hard if they won't."

The Colonel's tone did not give room to refute anything, it was directly an order without mentioning that it is an order. Something that neither of them liked. But they are soldiers, they are used to it.

Jake followed up with an important question. "Are we still with Augustin?"

"On paper. Yeah, you walk like one of her science pukes, you quack like one, but you report to me. Can you do that for me lads?"

The newcomers turned to look at each other. One look was enough to know that they both agreed.

"Yes, sir," they both answered instinctively. This loyalty brought a satisfied smile to the superior's face.

"Well, all right, then." With a wave of his glove, the Colonel turned on the robot. He brought his hands to his chest and threw some well-calculated punches, making the suit perfectly imitate his movements.

Jake and Eli backed up a little in the elevator to avoid being hit by accident.

Pleased with the adjustments to his suit, he turned it around to face the former Marines, placing his hands on his waist. Not even his suit seemed to prevent the Colonel from moving with confidence.

"I take care of my own. You get me what I need and you will get what your nation denied you."

The words the Colonel had used had been intentional. He read both of their files in order to not only understand who they are, but to understand how they think. He wants them to know that they are no longer on earth and that under his control he promised to give them more importance.

And they both completely believed it.

"To you Jake." The Colonel began. "I can give you your legs. Your real legs." Mentioning the limbs, the man aimed at Jake's human legs, using the robot. He then turned to Eli. "And to you, corporal. I will make sure that your nation gives you the recognition and apology you deserve. What do you think?"

Both soldiers nodded at the same time and responded. "Yes sir."

"Good." Ending the conversation, he closed the lid of the cabin with his metallic hand, turned around and turned to continue on his way, leaving the two with a lot to think about but only one conclusion.

They have a new mission.

[foxypheonix]

Let’s Address Some Things

It’s been nearly a year since this first began. I have been working on this since about March as I can no longer keep it in and let my nay-sayers get away with this. This event triggered severe RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) in me and threw me into a deep depression so it wasn’t easy for me to try to write all of this down. I wanted to be as clear and truthful as possible, so writing an emotional rant post in response wasn’t an option. I know how the drama-lovers like to nitpick words, so I wanted to be careful as well.

This is about the drama between RadicalRainbow and me. It involves a lot of people, because Rainbow refused to let this be private. As such, I will be posting this publicly as well…

I will be sharing everything that happened that I can remember. I am not about to throw a pity party for myself, but I do intend to defend myself. I want to set things straight for those who actually care to know the whole story. I know it probably won’t help much for those who are convinced I am a terrible person, but…yeah. Let’s just get into it.

RadicalRainbow (and CosmicaCandy):

Part 1: Joining the Server

When Rainbow joined, I was happy and excited. I could tell they were timid and nervous, enforced by how they thought it would be cool to talk to me at all based on their twitter post. Someone else other than Rainbow tagged me, informing me of their post and I said hi and offered to have them join my server.

There were cute with how shy they seemed. But I also wanted them to not be nervous. They were  the most welcomed I had ever seen in my server yet and they posted a lot.

I thought they might be losing their shyness and I tried to treat them like anyone else. I vouch to treat everyone the same to dispel power dynamics and for those in power to face the same treatment as everyone else. Rarely do I not see power go to someone’s head and I work to be humble and use any power I have responsibly.

That being said, I considered Rainbow and I to be equals. They have a bigger audience than me and were more well known, so I almost considered them to be bigger and have more “power” than me. I didn’t want them to revere me, just to see me as another artist and maybe a friend. I do not look to be feared. I want to be open and approachable.

Part 2: Their Time There

I thought Rainbow’s time in my server was great. Again, they were the most well-received person I had ever seen. Everyone welcomed them. They posted often and people were nice to them.

They soon showed interest in knowing more about my Cult of the Lamb comic, In Spite of You (ISOY). The only ways I allowed people to know more, “spoilers” so to speak, is if they became a top-tier patron of my Patreon or if they did work for me. I eventually offered for them to work for me in exchange for learning about spoilers for ISOY. They accepted and became my ask helper, drawing asks to a script and description I provided. I offered to let them draw what they saw appropriate at the times I felt it didn’t matter. They received their payment for this work in the form of information and images pertaining to things not yet made public about ISOY that otherwise was only available to those that paid to receive it or also worked for me.

I did my best to be kind about asking for changes to their work. I allowed them to keep their watermark on their work despite the fact I didn’t want it there, and if I had been paying money, I definitely would have requested to be removed. A watermark obscuring an image is different than an artist signing their work. I did, and continue to give credit where credit is due.

At one point, I suggested (eagerly) for Rainbow to add their OC Fern to ISOY. They said no and I dropped the idea.

They posted Fern a lot. In the posts it was never said what gender Fern was. Going off of appearances Fern was very feminine coded. They even posted porn of Fern and they had drawn Fern being eaten out. No one had any idea Fern was not female.

In relation to Rainbow posting porn of their character, another server member also made a risque picture of Fern after Rainbow had posted theirs.

I only learned later that they had been uncomfortable with this. I saw no issue as they had posted some themselves. They also never vocalized they did not like porn being made of Fern except by themselves until much later.

When boundaries were brought up they were adhered to. However boundaries cannot be enforced when no one knows about them.

Part 3: Them Leaving

They left on my birthday.

So to get this out of the way, if they mention how their information is visible and thus should be respected, they are a hypocrite. My birthday is also visible across many platforms, yet despite apparently looking so highly upon me they left my server and was not able to be immediately contacted on that exact day. People don’t look that deep. People are lazy. You aren’t that special. I know I’m not, which is why I do not blame them for leaving on my birthday. However I will blame them or anyone if they try to claim having your information “easily” and publicly available makes me or anyone else not knowing if someone is gay, bi, trans, autistic, ADHD, a gender, how old they are, their race and so on is “disrespectful” and thus purposefully doing it. Having that information out there does not mean everyone knows it by default. Again, you are not that special.

Rainbow sent a message finally telling everyone that Fern was non-binary then left right afterwards.

I got in contact with them a few days later. I could no longer talk to them on Discord after they left because we didn’t share a server anymore and they blocked contact from non-friends and server-mates. It was understandable, we hadn’t added each other as friends and shared no other servers. I contacted them through tumblr instead.

When I could talk to Rainbow again, they told me there were three reasons why they left: Fern being misgendered, Lazy and Nova.

Now let me reiterate, Rainbow told no one that Fern was non-binary until maybe a few hours to even only some minutes before they left my server. No one refuted them correcting this, no one gave grief or hate, no one even had a chance to adjust to this information before they decided that they were going to leave over it anyway.

I do not care that Fern is non-binary. I am not saying Fern is a woman. I support that choice for that character.

Can anyone be blamed for misgendering them, though? A very heavily female coded character is presented. They are referred by the creator only as “they” but that does not instantly click for people to then ask about the character’s gender. If you try to claim you do, you are a liar. Males and females can be referred to as “they” as well. It is not an exclusive pronoun to non-binary people.

People, including myself, referred to Fern as a girl. Rainbow never corrected this.

My server is not a place LGBTQ+ is heavily enforced or being pertinent to knowing these things about people. It is up to the individual to ask or relay such information. I do not have an introductions channel or a channel to introduce OCs etc.

I noticed how upset Rainbow was becoming about Fern being misgendered to the point they made posts on their blog about Fern being non-binary and how female (and male) presenting characters can also be non-binary. I agree with this!

However we cannot expect people to be mind readers. We cannot expect people to go learn all the information about you and especially not about your character(s). It takes time for people to adjust to changes, especially those who are autistic or ADHD. Autism makes changes hard, and ADHD makes it hard to remember. However everyday people also can have troubles too and you cannot expect instant change.

There is also the fact that non-binary pronouns don’t even exist in some languages. So someone’s first language may cause them to not adjust quickly to the information. (For example: Shamura’s pronouns in French are he/him because non-binary does not exist in the language.) Some languages even gender objects.

You have to understand it is you against the world if you decide to get mad about people not knowing your character’s pronouns or gender, even your pronouns or gender. It must be shared, sometimes explicitly, and then a grace given for those that fumble. It is not a slight against you if someone slips up accidentally.

I say all this because this is what I was trying to say to Rainbow. I had less words and I admit I came on strong. I simply wanted to help. I didn’t want them to get stuck in the trap of thinking everyone is disrespecting them on purpose. It’s far more complex than that and sadly they are not that important.

I did say that they were upset about just a character. A character being misgendered upset them so much. It felt ridiculous to me. It wasn’t about them. None of the misgendering was malicious. But I should have approached it another way. I did not mean to dismiss their feelings, just to try and get them to see it in a different light. I wanted to apologize for how I approached the situation and I unfortunately let my frustrations out during our talk. You can go see yourself that I never insulted them or their beliefs. I didn’t even state how ridiculous I thought it was.

This whole situation is ridiculous and I don’t understand how it got this big other than malicious intent on Rainbow’s part and/or encouragement from their friends and acquaintances to make it bigger than it needed to be.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

I will address them mentioning Nova next. They only told me two things: One, they didn’t like that Nova drew a pin up of Fern and two, Nova made sexual implications to them in DMs.

I asked if they ever told Nova they didn’t like these things. They said no. What can be done if you don’t even tell someone they are bothering you?

I basically returned this. They needed to speak up and tell him to stop. If he continued afterwards then it shows he has malicious intent and is being disrespectful. Then I can get involved. I am not going to talk for them.

I know all of the drama around Nova and I will address it later in this post.

Lastly is Lazy.

The entire time Rainbow was in the server Lazy was also there. He was a mod, even. They interacted, even if it was only Lazy commenting on their artwork.

However Lazy wasn’t named Lazy Lamb at the time, he was named LewdLamb. No, it wasn’t to cover up his identity, it was a left over joke when I changed his name to HornyLamb and then he altered it to LewdLamb.

Something tells me Rainbow didn’t know Lazy was Lazy until he got demoted from mod status and left for a few days to cool down. When he returned and since then, he has reverted back to being Lazy Lamb.

This is where “boundary crossing” came into Rainbow and mine’s talk.

They told me Lazy was a bad person. “Many” people were hurt by him. I know about the debacle Cosmica caused against him. I do not believe how he acted towards Cosmica at the time was okay. However, I was also on the other side of it. I talked to Lazy and people she mistook for Lazy. She hurt them too.

But back to the conversation with Rainbow. I asked for proof of who and how he hurt them. Who else besides Cosmica had he hurt, because I did not know of him hurting anyone else. I heard about how he “bothered” others and how people listened to Cosmica and decided to block him, but nothing else.

They refused to answer, both on their past or of anyone else. They claimed it was not their place to speak for others, however how can I take the claim as true if I’m not shown proof or at least given a name of these other “victims” of his? I pressed because this was a serious matter. They were accusing my former mod of terrible things. I have a community I am responsible for. I did want to try to convince Rainbow to return to my server as well at the time, so I also wanted to dispel their worries and to fix the issues they were bringing up.

They kept trying to shut down the conversation. I wouldn’t allow it. They had brought up concerning things about my members and it needed to be addressed. I was willing to wait hours, days, until they could be calm and collect their thoughts. I encouraged them to take time to think. It is not evident in the screenshots because of the erasing of the hourly timestamps, but every time they said no and I urged for them to calm and think, they would return 30 minutes to an hour later once again telling me no and to fully drop the subject. I wouldn’t allow the subject to never be talked about again, it was too important to leave. Apparently my insistence was boundary crossing. To a degree, I agree. They asked me to stop and I did at the time, telling them to take their time and we’ll talk later. But they wanted to never speak of it again and I couldn’t allow that. Alas, it was important for me to learn what was going on and they were the accuser. They gave themselves the burden of proof by making such claims.

I wanted to help them. Help them be less insecure, to advocate for themselves, to speak up about their problems and to understand that the world isn’t out to get them, that there’s a lot of nuance to life. I do believe I came on strong. I should have been gentler. There is only so much one can do for someone convinced they’re a victim though. Someone who doesn’t want help and would prefer to stay in their comfort bubble, always being told they’re in the right and the world is just evil; not that they should also be understanding, open minded and seek solutions instead of retribution. They were arguably surrounded by people telling them to be the way they are, which leads me to what happened next.

(A note before that: I was once “asked” ((it was accusatory and shitty but anyway)) why Rainbow needed to be in my server. Looking back, I can see that it wasn’t necessary for them to return. However at the time not only did I not understand why they left, I wanted to then resolve the problem. They were telling me bad people were in my server leading them to leaving. I wanted them, and everyone to be comfortable and that is a reason I persisted.)

Part 4: A Talk With Cosmica

After probably another hour of silence, I suddenly found myself in a group conversation with Rainbow and Cosmica, of all people.

Allow me to preface this. I am not a fan of Cosmica. She has hurt many of my friends and otherwise is a class A bully of the CoTL community. I do not like her. I was wary of her from day one of joining this community and she has only strengthened my belief in that she is a terrible person over time. She is extremely judgemental, attention seeking, dramatic and weaponizes her audience to serve these terrible habits.

And she was brought to me to “tell her side” of the conflict with Lazy that led Rainbow to decide he wasn’t a good, or even an okay, person to be around.

I already knew what happened with her and Lazy. I told Rainbow this before being brought into a conversation with the woman herself. I didn’t need to hear her extremely judgemental side again, that was also public for everyone to see anyway.

I do not agree that what Lazy did towards Cosmica after being banned was okay. He should have left her alone.

But what led to him being banned was the most intolerant act I had ever seen. He was rightfully confused and mad. It does not justify his actions afterwards, however I do not condone Cosmica’s way of handling what was frankly just an awkward situation. He had no malicious intent. He was just kinda weird and he was punished for it and it’s sickening.

I did my best to keep my cool talking to Cosmica. She didn’t know everything. And I wanted to be open for Rainbow.

It was in this conversation that Cosmica told me of Rainbow’s pronouns. I was never told them, I said that. Another instance of Rainbow not advocating for themselves.

In fact, the entire chat was Cosmica talking for them. She told me I scared Rainbow. About the pronouns. About how Lazy had done something directly to Rainbow that they hadn’t told me about. How was I to do anything if I wasn’t being informed?

I was given a screenshot of what misdoings Lazy did to Rainbow. I disagree that it was anywhere near bad enough for Rainbow to want to run away from his presence.

He messaged them after he had been banned from a second server Cosmica had recently joined. Rainbow banned him, they were a mod with the privilege to ban. He asked why and they attempted to be vague but he hit the nail on the head that Cosmica had gone to Rainbow and “warned” them about him. They took Cosmica’s word at face value and banned Lazy without further investigation.

Disgusting.

He got mad at them for banning based on hearsay of the past and specifically because of his nay-sayer, Cosmica. He should not have “yelled” (used all caps) but you know what? I would be mad too if some bully of mine got me banned from somewhere without me being able to make my case and have recourse.

I told them both I didn’t find it so bad. Lazy has anger issues. We (Lazy and I) have gotten into “yelling” matches (via text) and we still could be friends and, oh, I dunno, talk things out? What he did wasn’t okay but how both Cosmica and Rainbow handled their situations were gross overreactions and he had a right to be angry.

On the topic of what Lazy did to Cosmica, I wanted to correct her that the reason she called out Lazy by name wasn’t his doing. I knew one of the others that contacted her during that time and they were worried what she was posting about was of them.

Well. Cosmica knew that it wasn’t Lazy. She figured out it was an old stalker of hers and Lazy had left her alone all this time. Did she ever correct this? Did she send me a link to her call out post (which she had ready to give to me instantly, even though she “deleted it but it’s been reblogged and she can’t delete those”--woman, you shouldn’t know where to find those anymore if you actually cared to stop this conflict) and then give me an immediate addendum that Lazy had been innocent in that situation? NO. Instead of admitting as publicly as she “called out” Lazy of her blunder, she kept it quiet and allowed his reputation to be ruined further, even straight to my face in this new instance. She wants him to continue to suffer.

So to recap: All Lazy did was talk about his dead pets at an inappropriate time which led to him being banned because he was “weird.” No correction. No recourse. He tried to contact Cosmica afterwards to ask why he was banned and to beg to be let back in. He got mad when she denied to explain nor revert the ban and he started to ban-evade and cuss at her. This is the only thing he did wrong in this situation in my opinion--but everyone will want to think this behavior makes them right in banning him--no it wasn’t.

She eventually became his aggressor. When he gave lament for how he acted towards her to someone who was apparently her friend, she unblocked him and told him off.

Then her stalker came back. She thought it was Lazy, but never confirmed it was him and later confirmed it was the stalker instead. She even claimed blocking Lazy’s IP address to keep him from contacting her, but that’s not something anyone can do. You can’t block people’s IP addresses from coming into contact with yours. You can block an IP address from accessing a website, but not being able to contact you. Plus, even if that was possible, VPNs exist. Regardless, I take her saying that as just another way of trying to be dramatic.

It took a third party to get Cosmica to talk to Lazy and inevitably for her to back off.

But let’s not forget she’s the victim! :)

Anyhow. With this and saying what he said to Rainbow wasn’t so bad, Cosmica (remember, she’s the only one talking this whole time) said that being “triggered” once is enough. In certain situations, I agree. And I must add I do not think Cosmica should “forgive” Lazy and they should reconcile. Rainbow overreacted and abused their power in my opinion, but I also do not think they should have to be friends with Lazy. I encouraged them to block him (and Nova) if they returned to my server. They cared too much about it being noticed that they would be ignoring the two. That could have been dealt with had it become a problem. I am the admin of my server, I take care of these issues. They didn’t trust me to do my job. Probably because of how they abused their power as a mod and how they have observed others do the same. It’s sad. They’re surrounded by people who back stab each other the moment they hear nay-say. It’s disgusting. However they participate so I can’t feel bad for them anymore. I’ll go over that more later…

The end of the conversation came. I relented. Fine. Rainbow didn’t need to come back to my server. I didn’t feel things had been resolved yet, but at least things could be over for now. I told my discontent with this ending and how my respect for Cosmica was on the floor but she earned some of it to lift it up a bit higher than it was.

This was when Rainbow finally spoke when not prompted to. They told me they quit and to never speak to them or “their friends” again. They removed Cosmica from the chat, then themselves.

Thank you for that, Rainbow. Now neither of you can screenshot our conversation and spin it against me. I don’t have access to it anymore either, so I’m recounting everything from memory. I like to think I have a very good memory though, and I stand by the truth. Everyone did something wrong, but none of it was deserving of what has come out of it.

I left it at that. I did not try to contact either of them again. (Okay. I shut Cosmica up when she vague posted about Lazy. She so kindly deleted the post and blocked me. That was it though.)

Then, MONTHS later, the debacle with Nova happened and Rainbow dragged me into it. :)

Part 4: The Call Out Post

I will talk on Nova later. We’re focusing on Rainbow right now, the one that started all of this.

And their “call out” post of me is where it started. They posted our private conversations and claimed I used them with my status (allow me to reiterate, I am LESS popular than them) and crossed their boundaries.

THAT’S IT.

Why, WHY couldn’t this have been talked about privately? If they still had an issue with me, my DMs were wide open. I never blocked them. Anywhere. They only blocked me on Discord. And instead of contacting me to talk things out, they followed the bandwagon of their toxic friends and attempted to slander me because I hurt their feelings.

I did try to ask for us to talk. I was sorry about what and how things happened. But I was RESPECTING THEIR BOUNDARY to not talk to them anymore before this. I only contacted them to plead to just take down their post and let’s talk. This was ridiculous. Why do you want to slander me? Why do you feel the need to make this private matter public? I was mildly on the defensive when contacting them, being very stern and professional because I know how these people work. I did hope being that way would make them back down. It was still a request and a bid for them to see reason. I should know better from a teenager to surrender when goaded on by such a toxic community, though. I wanted to hope.

They would not talk. I was dog-piled. Rumors began to spread about me. False rumors. Rainbow reblogged everything negative they could find about me. I could not win, I couldn’t even try to come to a truce. They stonewalled me.

I was sorry. I wanted to help. Alas there is only so much I can do with an uncooperative party. I shouldn’t have asserted to be help, I know. I can’t help it. I cared about them, I wanted better for them. But not everyone wants helps and facing the truth of your flaws can be seen as mean.

I am sorry for how I acted. But I am no longer sorry for anything else. They brought this upon themselves by not letting sleeping dogs lie and not reaching out to talk privately and maturely. They went nuclear to a very small, trivial situation and I refuse to pity them for deciding to attack instead of being diplomatic.

Talk out your problems. Tell people you have issues. Advocate for yourself. COMMUNICATE.

Of course it doesn’t end here though.

Part 5: I’m An Art Thief

No.

No I’m not.

I never was.

As I was attempting to deal with this whole absurd situation and my newfound attackers, I soon got anonymous asks on my comic blog telling me to take down the art Rainbow had done for me. I declined. It was not some random person’s place to tell me to do anything. I’m sure one of those anonymous asks was Rainbow but I refused because unlike everyone else in this community, I don’t listen to hearsay.

Rainbow eventually asked, via an ask, to take down their artwork.

I offered a deal. They take down their post about me and I’ll take down their art. They refused. I attempted to give reason. They basically just attacked me. I wasn’t going to roll over and let them have their way simply because they demanded it.

They went nuclear again. Posting about how I was refusing to take down the art and was a thief.

Let’s get one thing straight. Rainbow agreed to work for me. They received payment for the work they did. I had a right to keep that artwork up.

On top of that, I wasn’t slandering them. They had a watermark on the work. I credited them. I didn’t say a THING about them after our fall out.

Now before you say they made the art for me because they wanted to do it and so it doesn’t matter what payment they got, try saying that to a business and see where that gets you. THEY AGREED. THEY RECEIVED PAYMENT. IT IS NON-REFUNDABLE. Just because payment wasn’t monetary doesn’t mean it wasn’t a payment. You all would agree I have a right to that artwork had I paid with money, so why is this different? It is known as bartering and it is a legitimate payment method.

I did not explain this well in the moment to Rainbow or my aggressors when trying to give the reason I wasn’t budging. I am not good at arguing. It is very hard for me to formulate thoughts and points in the moment. I tried my best to state my case in the comments of the call out post and its reblogs.

You can’t take back goods you have been paid for simply because you no longer like the person. You, Rainbow, feigning ignorance does not make this fact go away.

But congrats. You still ripped your work away from me and have effectively stolen from ME now, via abusing the copyright system. I would have fought it if it had not been for the wording of the recourse saying I believed the claim to be a mistake. Because it wasn’t. It was absolutely purposeful. Congratulations on abusing the system like all the other scum does on youtube, falsely claiming things as theirs, then due to how busted the system is, most creators are fucked about getting it appealed. I was fucked because despite it being your art, I PAID FOR IT. I have a right to it. You agreed to this!

You are despicable. If I were not one strike away from my account being deleted because of you and/or I had the means to fight it, that art would be back up out of spite.

If you had come to me to talk things out, and had asked me to take the art down then I would have done it, having paid for it or not. I might’ve tried to reason with you to not do it. There was no point in my eyes. It wasn’t hurting you in any way to keep your art on my page. You were getting free publicity, you got credit, I didn’t slander you. Other than you not liking me and being petty in not wanting me to have something of yours on my page, I see absolutely no reason to need to take it down. It was a winning situation for you, Rainbow, but you clearly care too much about what others think and about getting revenge.

Let me reiterate too, that this entire time Rainbow did not block me anywhere else. They were hoping to use my responses in their slander against me. You learn from the best, don’t you? I used to think you were a victim of Cosmica and co. But now you’ve graduated to being one of them. Enjoy your tiny bubble of comfort, thinking everyone is out to get you. You bring it upon yourself. Congratulations on not only abusing the copyright system but also your own audience and connections, just like the drama queen herself. I will rue the day they all turn on you at the drop of a hat like they do with everyone else.

Learn to communicate and that people can’t read your damn mind.

Eventually I had enough as the rumors got worse and I blocked Rainbow and everyone involved in the situation in hopes of saving my mental health.

(Formerly) NovaArtz:

I need to bring up Nova because he was a part of this, even if it was only a catalyst to bringing a spotlight on me.

Let’s get some things straight: What Nova did to others was not okay. It was borderline, if not full on creepy, especially what he said to Cosmica. I do not condone him being so crass about sexual advances and content sharing.

People have done far worse and what he did was overblown, especially the part where he “targeted minors.” Guys. He didn’t. Just like I (and you, and everyone else) don’t go hunting down everyone’s gender and birthday, he didn’t know the ages of those he hurt that were minors. And, as soon as he found out their ages, he disengaged and stopped talking to them--at least in a sexual manner.

It does not absolve him of what he did. I still think it was wrong. However y’all need to get off your gossip trains for one second and look at the whole picture once in a while.

Speaking of gossip trains, I was also slandered for this debacle as well. I was shown the accusation Cosmica posted about Nova that started this whole mess in my server. As I was reading through it still, I commented how people can’t take a joke.

Let me explain. Firstly, I do not consider Cosmica a good person as stated before. She creates drama left and right, and as such, I take everything she says with a massive pile of salt. I was already rolling my eyes at her pointing a finger at Nova. While I was ready to not believe her, I was still investigating the situation to form my own opinion.

Secondly, I had, again, still been reading through everything but I was making comments as I read. The particular moment I have been having thrown at me telling me I’m a terrible person for, I was reacting in the moment. I was groaning at someone who had made a claim against Nova, particularly trying to say he “targeted minors” as she was one. He, at one point, replied to one of her posts talking about how she was tired, didn’t want to go to bed, or something along those lines. His reply was of an image of a tranquilizer gun with him “threatening” her to go to bed. It. Was. A. Joke. She was showing this particular interaction as a strike against his character. I thought it was funny. So I said that in my server: People can’t take jokes these days.

Everything I said in my server at that time was a knee-jerk, in the moment reaction. And guess what? Someone else had a knee-jerk reaction to my reaction and decided to take my developing opinion comments, screenshot them and throw them in my face, claiming I thought everything Nova did was “just a joke.” I do not think that. To take my words out of context like that is ridiculous and one of the many things wrong with this damn community, and the internet as a whole.

One more time. Nova did wrong. He has said he will change. I, personally, am giving him the opportunity to change and the moment he has proven he hasn’t, he is just as admonished from my server as he has been everywhere else. However, that also means people need to speak up (looking at you, Rainbow) to both their aggressors and tell the people that can help them.

FoxBoiTunes:

I know close to nothing of what FoxBoi is like, but what I do know is that they are a hypocrite and a liar.

Pretty much as soon as my talk with Cosmica (and Rainbow was there too) was over, they announced their leave in my server. I tried to pretend it wasn’t related and tried to ask why they wanted to leave. It got brought up that they “didn’t want to get involved in drama” and yet chose a side without hearing both.

It’s so gross how this community expects everyone to be just as disgusting as them. But honestly, I’m an outlier, a black sheep if you will, though no one believes me.

FoxBoi, you actively participated in “the drama” by taking action.

Then after Rainbow made their call out post, you not only participated in “the drama” again by sharing our brief, private conversation, but then you shared a complete and utter blatant lie in an attempt to slander me.

You claimed that I did what I “did” to you by asking why someone left. Fair. I asked like two other people the same before. However the lie comes in where you state this “friend” of yours had left because I shared an image depicting rape, and I was going after them for it?

This. NEVER. Happened.

Not once have I posted an image OR story of rape in my server. I have never “gone after someone” for leaving my server, especially not in that kind of manner like I was attempting to silence or shame them. I asked why in hopes of seeing if I can make something better for them to return. If I received a no, I accepted it and moved on. So, either your “friend” was lying to get in on the “me too” pick-mes of drama or YOU lied for that exact reason.

You decided not only to participate in the drama like the hypocrite you are, but you added fuel to the fire with blatant lies. You are disgusting. I don’t care if you weren’t the one to make it up, the fact you spread it without proof just to make me more of a villain is despicable and are everything wrong with the culture you and your SJW friends perpetuate in this community.

You outright refuse to hear both sides of a situation even when offered and then share whatever drivel you hear at face value, not caring if it’s true or not. It feeds your confirmations bias so you believe it without looking into it. Or assuming this “friend” of yours doesn’t exist, YOU hope people take your lies at face value to keep that juicy dopamine and serotonin inducing drama flowing for you to see the carnage of.

You are deplorable. I will never speak to you again, even if you realize the mistake you made and the harm you cause and perpetuate. Even if you come to me groveling to apologize. You are undeserving.

Fuck you.

KaiFan

I don’t have much to say about KaiFan, but I bring them up because they brought me up.

I have this person blocked, along with Rainbow and co because they would rather listen to the gossip train than learn about the situation, ask questions and form their own opinions.

I groveled to you already. You have always been passive aggressive and it was what caused me to lose my patience with you in the past. I have apologized for this. I will not continue to grovel.

I never knew how much you looked up to me and I am not going to take responsibility for the image of me you created alone, on your own time, in your own head.

I did have a cancer scare. When I brought it up, I was not trying to shut down the conversation, I was trying to get you to understand what I am putting aside to try to help you and you were being, well, passive aggressive. I let the conversation end when you volunteered it because I knew my patience was already gone and I didn’t want to make you feel worse. I did want to help you. I let my observations boil until you gave me permission to tell you them, and I did not handle it well letting it out. That part was my fault, I admit that.

Continuing about how I spoke of cancer in the past: I don’t know when this was, but when I spoke about cancer before my own scare, it was likely about my Gramma. Who is dead. Because of cancer. I was likely trying to relate, not take over the conversation. That is a very autistic thing to do, to mention one’s own experiences as a way to relate.

I won’t condone you spreading rumors and lies about me, KaiFan, which is why I blocked you. You had me right there to talk to about all of this. You had every opportunity to ask me what was going on and to tell me your thoughts and feelings. Instead you chose to hop on the bandwagon and make everything public. I won’t allow that to happen again.

I hope you get better, however you still need to be a better person too.

Finally, I “Encourage Incest”

While this doesn’t have to do with Rainbow or the rest of the situation, as I am currently trying to defend myself I thought it relevant to put this here as well.

So. Yeah. This is ridiculous. No I do not.

Not once have I done this. Please, I challenge you to find anywhere I have said “you should fuck your sister/brother/mother/father etc,” or “check out incest bro it’s great,” or any derivative of that.

This community baffles me with its so-called morals. Just because I say it should be okay (not that I do) to ship the Bishops with each other (whom are not blood related) or Baal or Aym with Narinder, everyone gets their moral panties in a knot and claims incest. I have not said you should ship these characters. I have not said you need to. I have not said I want to. It should simply be okay to. They are not blood related! Get over it!

I am also not saying you should ship actual incestuous pairings, like Baal and Aym with each other, with their mom, Clauneck with Chemach or Kudaii. And, y’know what, if you come across people that do, leave them alone because they’re fictional fucking characters and let people have fun??

It is great if you see the Bishops as family! If you see Baal and Aym as adoptive sons to Narinder! I can see that too! I do like them as a family! I’m just saying if people do ship them together (or in my case are simply okay with it), it, firstly, is not “encouraging incest” and secondly shouldn’t be so damn polarizing as it is! How is it that a game that has: alcohol, drugs, brainwashing, murder, abortion (by some people’s standards), forced and arranged marriage, sex, arranged sex, indoctrination, cannibalism, slavery, stealing, trafficking, nudism, polygamy, polyamory, and I could go on, that perceived and by definition not actual incest is the line everyone draws as being the worst thing ever?

Get over yourselves and let people have fun!

Last words

I am not a saint. I am not innocent in all of this. I know I have done wrong. What came of my blunders was blown way out of proportion though. All of this should have been a series of private conversations. Instead we have everyone reveling in the drama they create and enjoying others being hurt.

All comments on this post, regardless of what they say, will be deleted. I will not accept limited character discussion about this. Either you need to reblog this in its entirety or talk to me privately if you want to make comments. I will block people the moment they show they are not coming to talk and only want to throw insults and accusations.

Please, learn to communicate. Talk things out. Give chances. Understand.

No one mentioned needs to forgive me, to forgive others, to be forgiven. I don’t believe in forgiveness. Alas, I do believe in understanding and moving on, and doing so in a mature and calm manner. But as this was made a public matter, I needed to explain what happened as my aggressors will never own up to such things.

I will do my best to learn and grow from this. I want to be better. It is hard though. I am far from perfect. I want to do right by the people that look up to me, alas it is those that looked up to me and found I wasn’t up to the image they made of me that this whole situation started. Don’t look up to me. I am an imperfect, struggling human being with anxiety, depression and autism. I am not strong. I will keep going though.

Thank you for your time.

[yanderemommabean]

Last post got be thinking about that silly trope where a hitman/assassin/murderer has to suddenly take care of a kid and all the shenanigans involved with trying to be nice/preserve their innocence despite the fact that they... You know... Kill people for a living.

Anyway thoughts about OCs and suddenly having to take care of a kid?

it's been on my mind, I had to make a small post to feed the worms eating my brain.

I think Jasper would be trying to preserve any innocence he could, he loves kids, he wants the world to be good for them for as long as possible. His childhood was ruined early but that doesn't mean he wants anyone else's to be broken apart either.

Lee would have tired dad energy the entire time, but he'd still love them and be sure they're safe and eating correctly. "Do your work yet? Did you brush your teeth and shower? Alright then, come here, let me show you some neat science experiments"

Grey would be a bit awkward, as he's terrified he might accidentally hurt them, he doesn't want to turn out like the family he barely remembers. So he'll chill with them, play games, try to be a good role model, but he feels like someone else would be better qualified

Dexter would be over the moon and wouldn't be capable of leaving them alone. He's always so proud of anything they make, if its a stick drawing he says it's better than Vincent and Picasso. Major Proud Dad Energy

Ezrol would be indifferent in the beginning. Annoyed and not wanting anything to do with the brat. But slowly he lets his heart melt and starts giving into small things such as silly cartoons or weird art projects they wanted to try. He acts like he threw away the "junk" but it's very clearly kept in his room on his dresser or wall. Always checks in on them as they grow up, wanting to cry like an actual parent as time passes because "They grow up so fast"

August is the cookie cutter perfect dad who makes sure to use manners, be polite, be kind, and clean up. He'll have his more strict moments sometimes, but he's a real loving father figure who wants to be sure the kid is happy healthy and knows they're safe and loved no matter what. Also a really good cook at BBQs. Wears the "best dad" aprons all the time.

CEO would be the spoiling type, but only after you've earned it so to speak. If you do your work you'll be rewarded. Might also really love wearing the dad outfits they pick out to match. I'm talking atrociously colored and doesn't even match but it's their outfit choice for him, so to him it's a great fashion statement.

Victoria is used to handing care off to nanny's and what not, but she'd try. She's so business oriented the CEO would love to hire her. she's a more strict mother figure, but it's so the kid can get ahead in life when they can. Thinks kids are gross personally but isn't going to be a bitch if asked to house and care for one, she'll just take a while to warm up and be a good influence is all.

-Mommabean

[xiaomusmash14]

If there was ever a time Sanemi would not be getting sleep, it’d be whenever Mitsuri keeps reacting to anything even remotely associated with Just Dance

Just think: Mitsuri would be into pop music, and from what I learned growing up, Just Dance is literally the gateway to learning all the popular music and some underground gems. Example: I recall Satellite by Lena Meyer-Landrut to be from Eurovision because I vaguely remember Just Dance 3 (I didn’t have it growing up, I skipped to 4) having it, and that was before I even knew what Eurovision was!

Bonus, Toy by Netta is also a Eurovision song, and was, in fact, the 2018 Eurovision winner.

Bonus 2: Oops (Hit ‘Em Upstyle) by Blu Cantrell, an early 2000s song that ended up trending some time ago, is a huge favorite of mine. I got in on the audio trend at one point and I got asked what the name of the song was by a commenter, so I immediately gave them the name of the song without looking it up (that’s how well I know the song)

(Okay, enough about me rambling, I’m getting back on track)

No matter what game in the series, there’s always a good amount of well known songs (for better or worse) that get thrown into the mix, so there will be some rock dwellers out there that know of this franchise. It’s been going on for 15 years now, and so much has changed since 2009. There’s so many songs that got put into the series at this point (and some cut, RIP Mamaoo’s HIP and Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This), SCREW YOU, SELFISH LEAKER THAT CAUSED IT! (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾), so there’s gotta be at least one that will catch someone’s eye. It’s only a little less than a year older than My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which debuted in October 10th, 2010, and we know damn well how much of a culture shock that was!

Even I’m not immune to it, I straight up made about 50 of the Demon Slayer characters into MLP ones (yes, 50, I’m not even joking), and I put down about 200 of them to be done like that. It was my chokehold before Demon Slayer attached itself to me! Hell, my OC is based on MLP G4!

If there’s ever a contest on what franchise got me stuck in it, Just Dance would take the bronze (and silver if KNY and MLP are tying) simply for sticking around and managing to be present in my life since 2009. Even if I don’t have the game, I still look up songs in any installment of the franchise just to listen to it for the heck of it. Hot ‘N Cold, Maps, Mi Gente, Soy Yo, you name it!

(This literally went from talking about how Sanemi is not gonna sleep once Mitsuri gets into Just Dance to me rambling about the impact it had on my life XD)

Mitsuri would, of course, be into the dancing because what else is this woman gonna do, watch the pretty colors? Hell no, her ass is gonna obliterate anyone who challenges her to a game of Just Dance (unless you’re Tengen or Kyojuro because both have enough energy to compete with her for longer than what’s considered normal exhaustion) and will memorize the routines up the wazoo.

“Hey, does anyone wanna play Just Dance-”

“GIMME THE FRICKING CONTROLLER!”

And it’s not just gonna be her dancing to the songs in the game, she’s gonna be belting her heart out too at all hours whenever she’s playing. Tribal Dance? Easy. Love You Like A Love Song? Top 20 on her playlist. Dancing Queen, Waterloo, The Winner Takes It All? ABBA will be a cinch in a Peloponnesian Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Sundae second (do not ask how I came up with that) within an hour!

And don’t even get me started on how she’ll go the whole ‘round of the world on the cosplays of the coaches! Don’t ask her to not get so much up-cycling material because she’ll insist that it won’t be as fun if she doesn’t get into character and wants to be as accurate as possible to them. This will include roping the other Hashira into doing the routines if more than one coach is in it and involves lifting the other person up (like the OG I’ve Had The Time Of My Life, not the Dirty Bit version), and yes, Obanai will comply. It ends up with him getting into the video game series as well at some point because god forbid, Tengen mocks him for being a “buzzkill” and Obanai will want to humiliate the Sound Hashira at his own craft for that slander just because he wants to pop that ego for once. And he’ll proceed to risk breaking his ankles in the process because he only picked the extremes and the super hard routines that require some sort of willpower to not collapse and crash afterwards.

Sanemi will be at his limit with the shenanigans, but does not fancy having the Grim Reaper be 5’3 and have a danger noodle.

[dei-lab-assistant]

Nothing Builds a Friendship Like a Crisis (part 3)

Co-written with multifandoms27 Summary: Kaiba hired you to assist Mokuba as he performed his monthly inspection of the local, Domino City branch of Kaiba Land. Unfortunately, Mokuba was kidnapped before your eyes, and now there's nothing left to do but talk to Kaiba about what happened. Dub canon plus a version of DSOD. Female Reader. Set maybe two years post DSOD. Fun fact: I always write my Reader character with personality and specific description. Each reader character also has a specific place in the Yu-Gi-Oh world, and is basically an OC with set connections and feelings about the various canon characters and other reader characters. This is reader B, who is immune to the siren song of romance, cheap, eccentric, logical, and hands-on. Word count: 2,217 You can read part 1 here. You can read part 2 here. The next minutes were a blur of worrying about Mokuba, security men asking questions, and being hustled through staff-only sections of the park. After the third round of debriefing, in the second nondescript meeting room, you wished with all your heart there was a way to help instead of repeating yourself to various Kaiba Corp employees. But there was nothing you could do. You had helplessly watched as men kidnapped Mokuba, and nothing had changed since then—you were still unable to act, stuck in a state of frustration, failure, and misery. By the time you were brought to Kaiba’s office, you braced yourself for his anger. It was almost welcome. If one more soft spoken individual kindly told you that everything would be alright, the situation was under control, but would you mind answering a few questions… You hated being lied to, and all the comforting fabrications from total strangers were grating on your frayed nerves.

As the door closed behind you, you took a deep breath. You imagined running away. Each step towards Kaiba felt like a bad idea. Since the plush green carpet ate up the sound of your footsteps, the room was silent but for the urgent clacking of the keyboard as the company president steadfastly ignored you. It had been a long time since you had been here—and back then, Mokuba was filling in as the company president. Another step. Behind Kaiba, light flooded in from the windows making up the entire back wall of the office. Step again. Nestled up against the left wall was a table with a detailed model of Kaiba Land, which you remembered Mokuba showing you the night you had been here last. Step. You couldn’t think about Mokuba now. Step. You needed to stay focused, present, involved. You reached the desk. Kaiba had his laptop out beside his desktop monitor, switching back and forth between the two machines. He never looked up from his screens. You hated to interrupt, so for over a minute You stood in silence, watching his fingers fly over the keys. But if he told his men to bring you here, he must have wanted to see you, or at least chew you out. “You wanted to talk to me?” “In a moment.” Kaiba kept his eyes buried in his monitor, as you took a wider stance and clasped your hands behind your back. Eventually, he asked, “How do you feel?” What?! You thought you could count on Kaiba to not ask about your emotions—they weren’t something you wanted to talk about. “Worried. Guilty.” At last, Kaiba looked up in exasperation, “I meant physically. You were drugged, after all.” “I feel… well enough. What do you mean, ‘I was drugged?’” Kaiba reached into a cardboard box perched on the corner of his desk, and pulled out a clear plastic cup containing neon green liquid. He all but slammed the cup down on the polished wood, “Lab results show trace amounts of a rather expensive medical concoction in your drink.”  “But… how? When could someone have slipped drugs into my slushy?” “This was from Bishop?” You nodded. “Yeah, and I didn’t set it down until after Mokuba left. So there’s no way anyone could have—” “I don’t have time for your naivete. Bishop drugged you.” “Wha—Why? He was always so nice to me….” Your mind reeled. No one had ever betrayed you before, but it was the simplest explanation. And you had seen three men leave the tunnel and fly off in the helicopter. “I’m sure he wanted two of the guards to stay behind with you.” Kaiba had resumed typing, although he was moving slower now, giving half his attention to you. “Kaiba, I’m really sorry. I should have stayed with Mokuba—” “And what would you have done? Got yourself shot like the other guard with my brother?” “Shot?!”

Kaiba glanced at you, “Consider yourself lucky Bishop only drugged you.” “Is he dead?” “No, but he’s in the hospital.” Kaiba almost sounded, for a fraction of a second, like he regretted his employee being in such a state. But he kept working, acting like the conversation was a secondary concern. “How did Bishop stop the roller coaster?” Your mind had been mulling over the question of stopping the cars ever since the incident.  “He carried a localized field which blocked power to the brakes and triggered their failsafe, causing them to lock up until Bishop left the area.” “That’s impossible. You can’t dampen electricity like that. An EMP might have knocked the power offline, but then the cars would have been stuck there.” “It’s possible. My stepfather sold designs for such a device to the military.” You crossed your arms, “Fine, but no one would have access to those designs, much less the device itself.” “Despite my efforts, there’s still old Kaiba Corp tech scattered across the globe, and not exclusively in the US military.” “Seriously?” You supposed even Kaiba couldn’t always buy his way out of other men’s contracts. “But in this case,” Kaiba switched to his laptop, “an unauthorized individual accessed those files internally. Probably Bishop.” “He’s a hacker?” “Or his boss is, and Bishop followed his instructions in order to steal the plans, as well as several other, more recent files related to Solid Vision.” “I would have thought that was impossible too.” “Almost impossible. The bypass was impressive. I’ve been rebuilding the system’s security protocols from scratch this week, but the damage was already done.” Silence fell again, and you wondered if the conversation was over. You were tired. Shoving your hands into your pockets, you asked, “Am I still going to need to talk to the police after this?”  “Why would you talk to the police?” Kaiba stopped typing and stared at you with genuine curiosity. “Because I watched your little brother get kidnapped!” “I know, but what do the police have to do with it?” “Well, yeah, okay, it’s probably the FBI’s job, and not the local police, but you know what I mean.” You were rarely sarcastic, but there was no reason for Kaiba to be so pedantic. To your surprise, Kaiba stopped typing, leaned forward on his elbows, and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I thought Mokuba explained our situation to you.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You were more confused than angry. Kaiba sighed. “I’m sure you’ve heard that the super rich can do whatever they want?” “Yeah, but I’ve never believed it.” “It would be more accurate to say that we can do whatever we want, to those in our league.” You stared blankly.

“If a corporation kidnapped a random child, the government would intervene on behalf of the kid, but they won’t interfere with something like this. I’m expected to use my own resources to rescue Mokuba, or take revenge on his kidnappers—whatever I want, so long as the perpetrator is playing the same game. And of course, there’s always the possibility for further retaliation from the other side.” You grasped desperately for words. “This is…” Kaiba had ripped aside the curtain, revealing a view of the world you were never supposed to see. “Where does this leave someone like me?” “Employees of Kaiba Corp are under my protection. Any of my rivals who bothered or harmed my people would know to expect retribution. And of course, we’re careful not to harm unrelated… civilians.” Kaiba paused, as though questioning his choice of words, then continued. “If someone like Pegasus grievously hurt one of your sisters, then the government might get involved, and the whole thing could drag out in a multi-year legal battle. No one wants that.” “And where do I fit into this?” It felt like you had tumbled into a dangerous world running parallel to your own. “You?” Kaiba leaned back in his chair, “Right now, you’re an edge case. Although your decisions today will plant you squarely in, or out, of the game.”   You wondered what decisions Kaiba was talking about, but didn’t feel ready to ask about them. “So, why would Bishop do something like this? Shouldn’t he be on your team?” “Until last year, Bishop worked for Knightly Rook. When he applied here, he said he didn’t respect his boss, and wanted to work for someone with real power. But now, I know he never left his previous employer.” Kaiba smirked, “The man will regret crossing me.” “Knightly Rook kidnapped Mokuba? Why on earth would they do that?” “The company has been pestering me to meet with their president for months now. Apparently, they won’t accept that I refuse to collaborate with talentless hacks.” “And their president thought kidnapping Mokuba would enable him to win you over? The man is a moron.” “He thinks he can use this to prove he’s better than me.” Kaiba aggressively struck a few keys on his keyboard and swung around his desktop monitor to show a paused video. A graying redhead with a roguish grin and playful green eyes stared out of the screen—the president of Knightly Rook, Reginald O’Malley. Wearing a silky black shirt and perfectly tailored matching suit, the man looked more professional than Kaiba; and his mahogany tie and cane added an extra smidge of respectability. As the video resumed, the camera slowly zoomed in on his face. “I tried to play nice, Mr. Kaiba, I really did. We could have built something grand together.” From behind his desk, Kaiba snorted at the assertion.

“Alas, I could handle your refusals,” the video continued, “but your spurious claims that my company is nothing but pathetic puffery were an affront to my pride, sir.” Twirling his cane with practiced ease, the man continued. “And as you can see, I’m ready to challenge you, to show the world it is Seto Kaiba who should be pitied, as I rip from your inhospitable grip everything you hold dear.” You had heard O‘Malley many times, but never like this—with menace lurking behind each cheerfully delivered word. Although as his threat grew more obvious, some of the cheeriness fell away. “But of course, I propose a fair match, Mr. Kaiba, me and my Queen, against you and yours.” O’Malley switched to a mocking tone, “And worry not, I am aware you are a pathetic man, who has never known the sweet joys of a female companion, but I speak metaphorically.”  You and Kaiba shared an annoyed look at the assertion of singleness being equal to patheticness.  The video continued, “I am the black king, you are the white king, and each of us shall bring our strongest piece with us into symbolic battle via your favorite game. The stakes are high, and poor, young Mokuba awaits his dear older brother.” O’Malley chuckled, “The black king has made the first move, what will you do next, Mr. Kaiba?” Kaiba paused the video and rotated his screen back to its usual position as you asked, “I thought white always made the first move in Chess?” “Correct. But apparently he overlooked that detail when composing his speech.” Kaiba crossed his arms. “Will you be my tag-duel partner against this imbecile?” You were caught off guard by Kaiba’s question, delivered without preamble, “Shouldn’t you ask Yugi to be your partner for this duel?” An image of Mokuba suffering because you lost surfaced in your imagination, only to be ruthlessly shoved away; you needed to stay focused on the conversation. Kaiba stared at the top of his desk, “Yugi’s in New York, and we’re on the clock.” The last time you had agreed to help Kaiba, the two of you had ended up scrubbing floors in Pegasus’s castle, which felt like nothing compared to what was at stake today—Mokuba’s safety. “Why choose me?” You trusted Kaiba to give you an honest answer. “I’m not the strongest duelist around.” “You care about Mokuba almost as much as I do.” Kaiba’s mask of impassivity slipped, an almost childish desperation in his eyes. “And I trust you.” Having tasted betrayal for the first time today, you understood the value of his declaration. Your mind splintered into factions, wanting to accept his offer, arguing other candidates would be a better choice than you, screaming to take action, whispering that joining Kaiba on this venture could cost you a great deal—your privacy and anonymity, your safety, your right to be excluded from these power games. But your friend was asking for help, and your almost-a-little-brother needed you to rescue him. The seconds of confusion ended. You planted your hands on the edge of the desk and leaned towards Kaiba. “I’m in. But not as an employee, or a subordinate. As friends. Equals.” Kaiba stared into your eyes, as though seeking your resolve. “Very well.” “Also, you know that outfit you had made for me last year that matched yours? I wore it to Pegasus’s party to help you try and win a bet?” “Of course.” “Do you still have that? ‘Cause if we’re gonna play this guy’s stupid game, I want to lean into the aesthetic while we trounce him.” A smile tugged at the edges of Kaiba’s mouth. “I’ll see what I can do. Here.” Reaching into the cardboard box again, he handed you the deck box you had left in a locker back at Kaiba Land. “You’ll need this.” Part 4

[sith-shenanigans]

Introduction and Masterpost

Hello! I’m Io (with an i, not an L), they/them, enthusiast of evil space wizards and other assorted terrible people everywhere. This is primarily a SWTOR blog, but I post about other fandoms occasionally, and have recently fallen down a terrible hyperfixation hole about Fallen London. I write longfic, on a somewhat inconsistent schedule; chronic illness makes it difficult to put out chapters consistently.

I don’t have a DNI, but I block bigots and anyone whose posts I’d prefer not to see. I don’t do shipping discourse, and I don’t necessarily care what you ship, but see the previous sentence; if it makes me uncomfortable, and there are definitely things that make me profoundly uncomfortable out there, I’ll probably block you. (This has much more to do with tone than content—I have triggers, I’m all for people experiencing unpleasant things in safe ways, but the moment it feels like they’re being written as good and sweet and normal I’m going to nope on out of there as fast as I can. For my own mental health, and because the alternative is me biting someone’s head off.)

For my own part, I often write about dark subjects (especially in regards to my SWTOR OCs), and this blog may contain untagged discussion of fictional slavery, speciesism, systemic child abuse, state violence, toxic and abusive relationships, and similar topics. Mentions of sexual assault are generally tagged as “sexual assault cw.” I try to tag discussion of parental or school-based child abuse as “child abuse cw,” as well as in-depth descriptions of it in general, but I can’t 100% guarantee it. I try to remember to tag what friends ask me to tag, but if we don’t know each other well, I may not be able to manage it.

For neurodivergence reasons, I find it extremely difficult to describe images most of the time, but I’m trying to include alt text on screenshots of tags more consistently, and I’m attempting to tag my own posts with undescribed images as “undescribed.” (This includes most of my Fallen London posting, because there’s just enough formatting to poke me in the “cannot easily transcribe visuals to text” issue.)

Liminality/Discontent (SWTOR):

Liminality Main Cast:

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Discontent Main Cast:

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Sunlight (SWTOR):

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Other/Miscellaneous (SWTOR):

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Fallen London:

Amias Arling, the Calescent Inquisitive. Heart’s Desire. A former freelance detective with a few unfortunate soft spots, who came to the Neath for a case and ended up framed for something their target did. Extremely clever and extremely driven, but embodies the maxim that everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. Practically allergic to the direct route, unless it seems like no one would ever expect it. And even then, they’d rather take a convoluted way around.

SWTOR:

Liminality/Discontent, a sometimes-AU SWTOR novelization in multiple parts. Has a heavy focus on the implications that the game didn’t go into, the politics of the galaxy, and the pressure the protagonists go through.

like a moth to you, sunlight, a collaboration with my sibling @azems-familiar. Not very much is written on it, because collaboration is hard even when both people involved aren’t chronically ill (and our hyperfixations are largely elsewhere right now), but we love our terrible children anyway.

Liminality/Discontent:

The Dead Star; The Ruin, a prologue of a sort. As yet unpublished. Also works as a standalone work.

Anamnesis, a KOTOR novelization with a certain amount of playing with the format. A tragedy, if a bittersweet one, and a case study in why villains with good motivations are still villains. On hiatus.

Liminality, my pride and joy and occasional mortal enemy. The first and primary of two SWTOR base game novelizations, covering the Sith Inquisitor, Smuggler, Sith Warrior, and Jedi Consular storylines. It deals heavily with loss and family—the latter both by blood and by choice, and sometimes unexpectedly uncovered. It’s also about history, about the boundaries between past and future and life and death—and the things that survive when someone is gone. The galaxy is full of dangerous secrets, and cycles that seem inexorable; in the end, though, what matters most are the choices you make and why.

Discontent, the fic I will someday definitely write. Covers the Jedi Knight, Imperial Agent, Bounty Hunter, and Republic Trooper. It’s about war, mostly, and cleaning up other people’s messes. Nobody gets to step off a battlefield as the same person who walked onto it, if they make it off at all, but there are reasons to keep trying—even if only some of them are good ones. And somebody has to be the one to chase down the conspiracies in the dark.

Sacrifice, as yet not even started, which will cover the portion of the game running from the end of the class stories to Ziost. There’s a fourth fic for the Alliance era, tentatively titled Conviction, but there’s less in my head about how that one’s going to go.

Sunlight:

still my heart is heavy (with the hate of some other man’s beliefs), about spies and loyalty and people making slightly better decisions than they could have. Written primarily by @azems-familiar, who Illami belongs to. (I helped write Ardun.)

Other/Miscellaneous (SWTOR):

your last serving daughter, a collaboration with @reconstructionlegacy. Our silly little AU about Empire and the people who wish they didn’t live in it. Also infrequently updated due to the trials of life and coauthorship.

Fallen London:

None, yet, but it will happen. I can feel it.

The organizational banners used can be found here.

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 41 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

It's been a year since I started this story. I posted last year on my birthday and I do the same again today. I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me while I write this, all your love and support is greatly appreciated, I love you all so much. So here's a birthday present from me. Thank you all again!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @imusicaddict, @b00ks1ut, @mstiemountainhop, @awaterfalls, @lovememadly92, @lucyfromtheoldhouse, @blueberry-ovaries, @next-autopsy, @saintmalosunsets, @anaso12 anyone else please let me know.

I rubbed my eyes, blinking hard and then staring at the shimmer that mocked me. After everything that had happened, now it was back. 

It glimmered in the sunlight. The oil slick transparent film didn’t move as I approached it. It was just as I had remembered. I stopped a metre away, too scared I would be sucked in if I walked any closer. The whole time my heart never stilled, it thumped in my ears as I glared at the film. 

“Really you’re back after all this time?” I chastised the insentient object. 

“Fuck you!” I screamed, I was far enough away from the base that no one would hear me. I picked up handfuls of stones and hurled them at the shimmer. 

“Why did you do this to me? I didn’t ask for this!” My voice cracked as I yelled. 

“I never asked for any of this! You brought me here, why are you back?” Tears slipped down my cheeks. 

I didn’t know what I expected, that someone would magically pop out from inside the portal and explain to me why on earth it was me that was taken. That they would say it’s fine if you want to stay, this is just an offer, or, if you do not come back through the shimmer life as you know it would cease to exist. 

But no, no one was here to answer my question. It was only the shimmer that sat perfectly still as I screamed at it, as I launched stones and debris its way. It didn’t cry out and ask me to stop, only mocked me with its silence.   

“I hate you!” I screamed before I turned on my heel and sprinted away from the provoking portal. 

—------------------------------

I sat on the floor packing and unpacking my bag for hours. Each time I packed the bag an overwhelming panic took hold of my chest and only eased when I took everything out of my medic bag. 

“What are you doing?” I heard from behind me. I swivelled around in panic. 

Don stood in the entrance, his brows knitted together in concern. 

“How long have you been standing there?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat. 

“Long enough to know you’re leaving. Why?” He started forward to where I sat criss-cross on the floor.

“Where are you going?” Don demanded when I didn’t answer. 

“It’s back.” I uttered, not knowing what else to say. 

“What’s back?” He stood looking down at me. 

“The shimmer.” My voice was so quiet as I told him the truth. I watched his face fall and then his eyes flicked over my belongings that were scattered in front of me. 

“You’re leaving.” It was a realisation that fell from his lips. “You can’t!” 

“Don please don’t make this harder than it already is.” I begged, feeling tears spring to my eyes. It was hard enough to make this decision myself but for Don to beg me to stay was going to make it impossible. 

“Why are you leaving?” Don genuinely asked. 

“Because I have to!” 

“Said who? The shimmer police?” His tone was serious. 

“No. But why would it show up again if I was supposed to stay?” I was out of answers for him, I was just as confused as him about this. My heart was torn, I wanted to stay but I didn’t know the cost of that decision. 

“What if I don’t leave and then everyone dies ‘cause I fucked it all up?” I let him into the thoughts that had been racing through my mind even before the shimmer had shown up again. 

“If I stay and the world falls apart because of me and people die. I could never forgive myself.” I didn’t need to be the cause of anymore death, and if that meant giving up the one thing that made me happy then it was a sacrifice I would have to make. 

“You know what I would do?” He asked joining me on the floor and taking my hands in his. “I would say fuck everyone else and choose you.” 

“That’s easy for you to say you're not the one with this decision. I can’t say fuck everyone, that’s not me!” Don nodded he knew it wasn’t in my nature to put myself first. 

“Why are you making this decision based on other people?” Don’s thumb rubbed absentmindedly over the back of my hand. 

“Are you running because of what happened?” His eyes flicked up to meet mine. 

I shook my head, my mouth twisting at the thought of what had happened only last night. The scars were still fresh, literally. 

“No, I am doing what’s right, and that means I can’t stay, even though I want to!” I was already at my wits end without the appearance of the shimmer. Tears fell down my cheeks. 

“Be selfish, for once in your life Em! Choose you!” Don pleaded, his hands tightly wrapped around mine as if I would disappear in a blink of an eye. 

“I can’t!” I yelled, rising to my feet and pacing back and forward across the small room. 

But Don continued, standing up as well to grab me as I passed by him. His hands firmly gripped on my shoulders. Don shook me as he spoke, as if trying to shake his words into me. 

“Because other people would choose themselves, in your position they would choose to stay, not because of the greater good, but because they wanted to.” He was right, a lot of people would choose the outcome that would better accommodate them. But when have I ever put myself first? 

“You deserve to be happy.” I wanted to be happy, after everything I had been through in life all I wished for was to be happy.

“I can’t be the cause of other people’s deaths.” I couldn’t have that weight on my shoulders, I couldn’t live my life knowing other people suffered for me. It just didn’t seem fair. 

“Fuck everyone else Em. If you staying meant the world was going to end tomorrow, you know what I would choose, you I would choose you, because I love you.” 

“That’s not fair Don!” 

“I would die for you. I would choose my demise to spend one more day with you.” I choked back my sobs. 

“So I would die for you, but you wouldn't die for me?” Don questioned. I understood why he was wandering. From his point of view I seemed to care about everyone else more than him. 

“No, I am. If I go, I’m dying. I don’t think I could ever be happy again. But if that meant that you got to have a long and prosperous life, then I would die a million times over for you. And going home and living my life will be that.” 

“Then live for me!” Don bargained. “What are you going back to there anyway, you have a family here!” 

“Doesn’t mean I belong.” 

“Emily, ever since you have arrived all you have done is belong. You fit right in, you were meant to be here. The shimmer brought you here for a reason, fate itself!” Don was right I may have been brought back to this time for a reason, but then it could've been random all the same.    

“But what if it was only for a moment, only for a short while. What if I stay and everything falls apart because of me?” The lingering doom haunted me.  

“There are so many what ifs, but what ifs don't answer your question. Where would you rather be?” Don gazed down at me with his intense brown eyes. 

“Don’t make me answer Don, this is already so hard.” I hiccuped, I shook my head as I pushed away from him, turning my back on the man I loved.  

“Which would you pick if there were no consequences?” His voice strained as emotions flooded through his soft tone.  

“Here.” I whispered, still not facing him.  

“So stay, there are no consequences, you can’t think of the what ifs that will only haunt you. If you go back and regret your decision, don’t you think that will tear you apart?” Don rounded me so he stood in front of me again, his hand finding the underside of my chin and tilting it up to look into his eyes. They shimmered with unshed tears. 

“Yeah but what if I stay and the world ends and everyone I love dies! That would be even worse.” I emphasised my point over and over again, but still he fought against me.  

“It wouldn’t matter if we were together!”

It would be an agree to disagree.  

“I hate to break it to you Em, but everyone you love will die eventually. You can either be here for it or not.” 

“The difference is I don’t want to be the cause.” I stood my ground. I would not be the reason for the world turning to fire and ash. 

“I can’t face that. It will fucking kill me.” I would become a shell of myself if that was to happen. There would be no one for him to love anyway.  

“So I can’t talk you out of it? After all this time you are going to choose everyone else over me?” Don’s hurt radiated down his body, his hand fell away from my face as he took a step back. 

“Please Don don’t say it like that.” I begged stepping forward into his space but he kept his distance.  

“It’s fine you have made your decision, I clearly can’t stop you. Even though I hate you right now, just know that I love you and I hope that haunts you till the day you die!” Don’s bitter tone was harsh as he stomped out of the room.  

“Don!” I called after him as I chased him down. “I can’t leave with you hating me. If you love me you will let me go. You will respect my choice.” 

He only looked down at me, anger and pain etched into his features. 

“I will let you process this, while I say my goodbyes.” I kissed him gently on the cheek before turning to head back inside to pack my bag for the final time. 

—---------------------------------------

I took a shaky breath before entering the mess hall. The men noticed my arrival waving me over to the table. I kept my own emotions at bay as they all smiled at me. This would be the last time I saw their faces. 

“Hey boys!” I cooed to the men. They all stood from their seats as I rounded the table. 

“Em, are you alright?” Lieb asked me as I sat beside him. I resisted the urge to reach up and brush my fingers through his hair. 

“I’m ok.” I uttered softly. 

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. I leant into him, my hands coming around his bicep as I lent my head against his shoulder. 

“Em?” Lieb asked, craning his head to look down at me. “Why do you look like you have bad news?” 

“Because I do.” A sombre tone fell over the table. I straightened myself from my position and stood. 

“They have ordered me back home. Due to the events of last night, they don’t feel I am fit to continue my service.” I broke my lie to the men. Their faces fell as a groan of protest rippled through the group of my fellow Easy men. 

“It’s ok Em, we’ll see you when we get back home.” Babe chirped as he grinned at me. 

I could feel my heart ripping in my chest. He wouldn’t see me again. None of them would. 

“Yeah!” My voice cracked as sadness seeped into my tone. I quickly righted the mistake. “We will all have a big party when you guys get home.” Lieb reached up, taking my hand in his, giving me a reassuring squeeze. 

“But I’m going to miss all of you-” I had to pause to take a shaky breath before continuing. I laughed as the men looked up at me with concern on their faces. 

“I’m ok, just sad that I won’t be able to see you guys for a while.” My other hand was taken by Bull. The man who had saved me right at the beginning of this mess. 

“I want to come and give each one of you a hug goodbye. And then I’ll be off!” Complaints and offeres to were raised by the Easy men.  

“Don said he wanted to have me all to himself before I left, so you all have to do as he wishes!” Malarkey hadn’t agreed to anything yet, but I couldn’t have the men sending me off through the portal. 

The men thankfully agreed to my terms. 

I went around the table taking each man into my arms. Tightly squeezing them one last time. 

Lipton pulled me into his embrace as he whispered into my ear. “Be safe, Em.” I pulled back and his hands cupped my cheeks, brushing away the tears that slipped down them. 

Perco grinned widely at me as I stood blubbering in front of him. “Hey, don’t cry! I’ll make you eggs anytime, and we won’t even have to get it from the source.” His arms wrapped around me rocking me side to side in a boisterous manner. 

Martin hugged me like the dad I never had, pressing a soft kiss to my hair. 

Luz opened his arms, tears glimmering in his own eyes. “Don’t cry George or you’ll make me cry more!” 

“Who’s gonna laugh at my jokes?” His voice broke as he tried to be funny. I didn’t answer his question, only holding him closer. 

Webster and Tab both gave me kisses to the cheeks, wishing me safely on my journey. 

“Thank you for fixing me up Gene.” A bittersweet smile formed on his lips as he pulled me close. 

“Thank you for being the best medic Em. I didn’t tell you enough but I think you make a wonderful nurse.” I buried my face into his shoulder as his hand stroked down my back. 

Babe and I didn’t utter a word to each other, he only crushed me to his chest. We both quietly cried into each other's shoulders.

I pulled back, using my palm to wipe his face clean. “You’ll see me again Em.” He promised as I nodded tearfully.  

Bull enveloped me into his arms like I was a small child who had curled into his lap. He pressed kisses to the top of my head. I listened to his thick twang as he spoke, “I’ll miss you little lady. Don’t be a stranger.” 

Finally it was Lieb left. Only once in my life had I seen the man cry, but here he was looking up at me with tears in his eyes. 

“Can’t believe you’re going.” He said as he rocked us back and forward. “What am I gonna do without you?” 

“You’ll be fine Lieb.” I pulled back so I could memorise his face. He shook his head and took me into his embrace once again. 

I waved goodbye to them all as I left the mess facility. I still had to find the rest of the officers. 

I found Nix and Winters first. “Em are you doing alright?” Dick took in my appearance, my blotchy cheeks and bloodshot eyes. 

“I came to take up your offer. I would like to leave.” The men looked shocked, glancing from me to each other. 

“When would you like to leave?” Nix asked. 

“As soon as possible.” 

The men again looked even more flabbergasted. 

“We have one at 1300hrs, a jeep can take you to the port and then you ship back home.” Dick reported, checking his watch. It was 1130am, I had a couple hours before my departure. 

“Is that soon enough for you?” Dick’s eyes flicked up from his wrist. 

I nodded. “Thank you both for all that you have done for me. Richard, thank you for taking me in, and trusting me. Lew, thank you for caring for me and keeping me safe.” 

“You guys don’t know how much you mean to me. I never really had a male figure in my life. The love and support you have shown me in this small amount of time we have known each other, will fill up the rest of my lifetime and even after my death.” The men looked even more confused than before. 

“Emily you’re only going home, we will see you again I’m sure.” Dick surged forward to bring me into his arms. His hand smoothed down my curls soothingly.  

“I hope so.” I whispered into his jacket, latching my hands around his waist. 

Pulling back I found Nix now at our side, I went from one man to the other. I flung my arms around Lew's neck as he nuzzled into me.

“Gonna miss ya kid.” Nix said softly into my hair. I could hear the thickness of emotion in his voice, as if he somehow knew that this was inevitably the end. 

I finally stepped back from the embrace, sniffing and wiping away my tears that seemed endless. 

“I don’t mean to be forward, but I love you both, so very dearly.” Both the men chuckled. 

“We love you too Em.” Dick’s charming smile appeared on his lips. 

“I’ve already said goodbye to all of the men, but there is just one more person I need to see.” 

Dick nodded pointing back over his shoulder, “Should be somewhere in the office.” 

I gave a thank you before scurrying off to find the said man. 

My fist knocked on the wooden frame of the door that stood open. Speirs sat at his desk with his head down filing through papers. 

“Come in.” Ron called without glancing to see who it was. 

“Sir.” I started, but the sound of my voice caused the man to look up. 

“Em!” He smiled at me. “What’s the occasion?” 

Ron set aside the task he was working on to give me his full attention. 

“I came to say goodbye. I’m leaving in a few hours, I’m gonna go home. I think it’s my time.” 

Speirs sighed but smiled still. “I can’t say I’m surprised. You need the rest, after-” He paused, having to look away as he continued to speak. “After everything you’ve been through.”

“We’ll miss you. But I’m glad you won’t be coming to the Pacific, it’s not something you should be exposed to.” 

I hummed in agreement. “Yeah, I think I just need to go home and relax. And don’t worry about giving me your treasures, I’ve got it all sorted out.” His brow pinched. 

“It’s a gift.” Ron assured me. 

“And I thank you for the kindness, but it isn’t necessary anymore.” I held my ground, there would be no one for him to send it to. I would rather he keep it. 

“Oh, so you’re going, going.” Ron corrected. 

“I’m sorry?” I asked, confused by his comment. 

“You think I didn’t notice?” Speirs peered up at me, confusion lined my face. 

“What?” My heart drummed in my ears. 

“I’m a smart man, Emily. I have done my research on you. I have done my research on everyone. But you stood out. No records, nothing. I have been watching you, I notice things.” The more he spoke the more confused I became. 

“You aren’t from here. I don’t know why or how, but I know you weren’t born during this time. And you’ve made the decision to go home.” Speirs stood from his chair and rounded the desk to stand in front of me. 

“You’ve come to say goodbye for good. Haven’t you?” He bent down slightly so that he was looking me in the eyes. 

I was speechless, all I could do was nod. 

“How? How did you even come to that conclusion?” 

“It doesn’t matter. It never mattered. But for some reason I assumed you would stay.” Speirs’ arms drew me in. 

“What does Don think?” He asked as I laid my head on his chest. 

“He hates me for it.” I admitted sourly. 

“I’m sure he’ll come round.” Speirs reassured me as he cradled my face to his heart. 

“I wanted you to walk me down the aisle.” My thoughts surged from my mouth before I could hold them back. I had thought about it when I was planning to stay. If I was to be wed to Don, Ron was the one I wanted to give me away. 

“Good. No one else would be allowed but me.” Speirs chuckled.  

My laughs turned into sobs as I clutched him closer. “Am I making a huge mistake?” 

“You are doing what you think is best Em, and I trust you.” He pulled me back to look down at me. “Follow your heart.” 

“Thank you for everything-” 

“You don’t need to give me a big speech Em. I know how you feel about me and you know how I feel about you. Let’s just have this moment.” 

I think I spent two hours with Ron. Most of it I spent sobbing, but to have those last few hours together before I left filled me with so much joy it hurt. 

I tried to find Don, but he was nowhere to be seen and it was getting closer to when I would have to be out of sight. 

Sobbing, I walked back to where I had found the shimmer. I walked faster before my selfishness got the best of me and I turned and walked the other way.     

“Stop!” Don called from behind me. 

“Don!” I pleaded, if he was here to stop me he was wasting his breath. 

“I thought about it. And you’re right. If you love something, let it go. I hope you do the same Em. I want you to live a happy life, and even though I hate the idea, find someone who will make you happy. I will think about you everyday, you will forever be in my heart."

"I wanted to do a lot of things with you Em. I wanted to marry you and take you home to meet my family who would love you so much, by the way. I wanted you to be the mother of my kids, and the grandmother to their kids and hell even a great grandmother! I wanted to get old with you and live a quiet life, just me and you, sitting on the porch drinking ice tea."

"And we would argue and bicker, but only because we loved each other so much. You will forever be the love of my life, even if I can’t have you. You will be in my dreams every night, until the day I die. And when I die, I hope to find you again in every lifetime, if only just to know you. And even when you’re gone I will look for you in every woman I pass on the street and in the stores."

"You will have my heart now and forever. I love you so much, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” His speech was broken by his cries, but it was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. 

“I love you Don. I wish I could choose to stay. I wish all those things could come true. You have captured my heart and I fear I will never love the same again. I will never love someone as deeply and as fiercely as I love you. I will never forget your laugh, the way you smile at me, the way you kiss me."

"You have seared yourself into my soul and I will carry you with me through every lifetime. I believe you are my one true love, and I will never find someone who makes me as happy as you do. Don’t think of this as goodbye, but see you again. I will find you, even if it’s only in my dreams. Thank you for coming.” I sobbed as he kissed my cheeks, then my lips. 

The most tender goodbye kiss. One that left me breathless for more but broken hearted at the same time. We stayed wrapped in each other's arms, head pressed together as our breaths mingled. 

I kissed him for the last time. “I love you.” I whispered softly. 

I turned and walked towards the shimmer. I stood in front of the portal as it shone in the sunlight. I didn’t look back, I couldn’t, it would stop me. 

Taking one last breath I stepped forward into the shimmer, before everything went black.

-----------------------------------------

Chapter 42

[notmyprey]

Hi! Just thought I'd make a post going over a few things:

First things first! This is very much a (SFW) vore (for lack of remembering what the other descriptor is) account. If ya dont like- dont follow, lol.

I am a strictly SFW blog, meaning I dont, won't, and haven't posted anything NSFW. I sometimes post digestion, but it's ALWAYS with reformation or NON FATAL.

I normally draw g/t vore, but I will draw the occasional same/similar/half/quarter vore drawing.

I love asks, so long as they are SFW.

If you want to ask my OC's questions, go to my other blog here, which is just for that!

I only have a few DNI's:

Main DNI:

Pedos (of any name), zoophiles, harassment/callout blogs, homo/transphobic, racist (this includes towards asians and Middle easterns too, I aint tolerating any of that hateful shit)

For personal reasons, please either DNI or do not talk to me about:

Drugs (excluding medical ones), s3xual stuff (s3x repulsed ace here), and pr3gnancy (this is borderline phobia for me, ok? Maybe even worse than that)

If you have uncontrolled temperamental issues, please keep your distance or try not to become too close of friends with me (I have trauma related to this, and I am still recovering).

More info under cut:

These are the fandoms I know! Please try not to spam my ask box with fandoms that I dont know! An ask here and there abt one I dont know is ok, but not constantly please!

My Sona's:

This is my voresona!

This is my persona! (Who can also be used in vore lol)

Do I Role Play?

Short answer: no

Long answer: kind of? I do often use RP like language (such as the use of ** and refering to myself as my online persona, who is still technically me but in a universe where vore exists). But I dont like to directly RP with people in dm or anything else for the most part. There are few exceptions, but those who know, know.

I never thought I would have to add this, but please dont drag me into any drama or personal situations that don't involve me. I made this blog for me to have a place away from real life, not to have to stress over.

Repeating this again: One boundary I would like to put up is to try and keep drug mentions to as minimal as possible (outside of obv medications and stuff). I dont hate anyone who does do drugs, but it does make me very uncomfortable. I wish I could explain why, but unfortunately, I can not since I myself dont even know why.

NSFW and KINK blogs PLEASE READ:

NSFW:

I dont mind nsfw blogs following me or liking my posts, but please dont interact outside of that. Sometimes, I may block nsfw accounts out of the blue, but its normally because they either dont censor things or I see them too much on my tags that im following.

KINK:

I dont mind if kink blogs follow me or like my posts. You can reblog my posts. Just make sure that if you end up rebloging my posts, dont add tags that are related to a kink. I may block kink accounts out of the blue, but its normally because I see them too much on my tags that im following, and its something Im uncomfortable with seeing that often.

For BOTH NSWF and KINK blogs!! If you are an irl edit blog (aka you take real pictures and edit them), if I dont see you, you're fine. But as soon as I see any of that anywhere, whether it's going through who liked/rebloged my post or ending up on my fyp, I will block no hesitation. Irl photo edits make me extremely uncomfortable, and this is one of the few big boundaries I have and will not hesitate to enforce.

Other than that- dont be an asshole and were chill.

Master Lists:

Writing Master List

Prompts Master List

Rants Master List

Characters Master List

On going ask/rb games:

'Reblog or send an ask, and I'll tell ya what you/a character of your choice would taste like' post

Ask game! (Aka send me emojis to answer questions)

[banana-pancake5]

Can you tell me about Amelia??

Ye :D

Under the cut bc I feel like it’ll get really long

Amelia was my first ever OC and was apart of my first ever AU, TOF (the odd family [of mutants and Yokai])! I still have the MasterPost linked which has a good bit of info on all the involved characters (although that story is discontinued bc of LFMFS and SADA)

Amelia was a failed experiment of Draxum’s that was accidentally created when the lab exploded (the same time the turtles were mutated). Draxum pushed her way too far with her training and never held back his thoughts (that she was pathetic, a failure, etc) and eventually he became too busy to care for her, so he gave he made a deal with Big Mama. The deal was that Big Mama would care for, raise, and train Amelia until she was 14 or 15 (cant remember which), but when Amelia came to the age Big Mama grew fond of her. Because of this, Big Mama manipulated Amelia’s first ever battle nexus fight (which she was SO excited for). Big Mama switched her opponent from Graham, my other oc in the story, to a much bigger, more threatening opponent. That fight ended when Big Mama thought her plan succeeded, when Amelia was horribly injured, missing a horn, and unconscious.

After that fight Amelia felt ashamed of her broken horn, a constant reminder of what she knew her whole life, she was failed experiment… a failure. So, she covered it up. She did what she does best and made a small fashionable hat to cover it up. She practically spent every second of her days inside her room working for Big Mama (she sowed outfits for clients, warriors, and champions). Until her sister Kiki, a friend’s oc who isn’t on tumblr anymore, coaxed her into sneaking out into the city. That first night outside the city she became obsessed. She and Kiki began to sneak out more and more until eventually she had the confidence to sneak out on her own (which Kiki did NOT know about).

On one of her trips with Kiki she found a cat. The cat had a bit of its ear missing just like Amelia had her horn missing. That cat immediately bonded with Amelia, but Kiki in the other hand… they didn’t get along for awhile. Amelia couldn’t bring the cat home, but she could visit it every time they went out (part of the reason she started sneaking out on her own).

On one of these solo trips to hangout with Myla, the cat, she bumped into a strange who was already playing with Myla. She immediately froze up, she wasn’t supposed to interact with anyone in the city. Mikey, the stranger, stammered and apology, but when Amelia saw he wasn’t a human she came back to her senses (somewhat) and accused Mikey of stealing her cat. Mikey explained and apologized again then left.

This happened many times, but instead of yelling and shooing him away, Amelia began to just sit in silence as he played with Myla. Mikey would ask questions, talk about his day, and just talk to her while she sat without a word of acknowledgement. But eventually on one of these trips Amelia’s curiosity got the best of her and she blurted out a bunch of questions at Mikey, who was understandably shocked, but he answered them anyway. After that they started to talk more and more, becoming really good friends in only a few hangouts.

One day when Amelia was out, she saw Mikey being “attacked” by three other people. She immediately jumped in to help her new friend without a second thought. A little fight broke out, lucky for her she was the only one who attacked before Mikey explained the situation. Those people were his brothers, they weren’t attacking they were just goofing off.

Eventually through all of that, she truly meets the Hamato’s, discovers they’re are HER brothers, Kiki plot ensues, then Graham plot ensues.

Okay, I realize I just explained her whole arc and part of the AU… well I hope this counts as “more about Amelia” :D

Any questions about anything I shall answer!

[noforkingclue]

Love to Hate and Hate to Love, Chapter 1 (River Cartwright x OC)

Summary: so far Olivia's time at The Park had been relatively uneventful, despite working for a Service Legend. However, when her boss manages to piss off Lady Di she's forced to cooperate with the Slow Horses. And only one team is only going to get out of this alive.

Author's note: my first of my Slow Horses OC fics (and first OC fic in general...). Title might change though

Slow Horses tag list: @cillmequick

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites spngingerbread21,  @layazul,  @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

Olivia tapped her pen on her desk and she glanced down at the paper in front of her. Her colleagues had seemingly abandoned their work for the meantime in favour of focusing on the message.

“Remind me,” she said, “why are we doing this, oh, how did Fitz describe it again?”

“Dealing with the fuck ups,” grunted Kara, “chuck that over.”

“Why?”

“I want to see if there’s a message in it.”

“Why?”

“You’re still new here Olive. When you’ve been here as long as we have you learn to pick things up.”

“Olive,” Olivia muttered as she folded the paper into an aeroplane, “never going to live that down am I?”

“Nope,” said Laura as she relaxed back in her chair, “you aren’t. Besides, it suits you!”

Olivia threw her a glare but chose not to snap back. She chucked the plane over to Kara who read it in silence. She sighed and put it down heavily.

“Nothing,” she said as she ran a hand through her straight black hair, “that’s disappointing.”

“You were expecting something?” Asked Olivia

“Maybe a little something,” Kara admitted, “then again Fitz is a bit cagey about his Cold War days. Especially when it comes to his old colleagues. You can’t really blame me for being suspicious.”

“And even more when it comes to Jackson Lamb,” said Warren, “heard they almost came to blows more than once.”

“Definitely,” said Laura, “you must’ve heard of Jackson Lamb right Olive. Despite still being a bit green.”

Olivia rolled her eyes and swatted Laura’s hand as she ruffled her hair. She had only been in The Service for six months but it was hard not to have heard of Service legends like Jackson Lamb or the infamous Slow Horses. Even her boss, Max ‘Fitz’ Fitzgerald was a Service legend in his own right and you don’t become one of those without doing some shady shit.

"So why are we involved?" she asked

"Because Lady Di thinks she's being funny and she’s also punishing me."

Olivia, who was the only one with her back to the door, jumped at the sound of Fitz’s voice. Fitz just gave her a bright smile and clapped a hand on her shoulder. For someone so short he was a lot stronger than he looked. He was only five foot five and yet his presence always commanded a room's attention.

“And you are coming with me.” He said

“Why me?” Asked Olivia

“Because Lamb’s bringing someone with him and I want you to distract him.”

“Fitz! I thought you said that honey traps weren’t your style.”

“Nothing like that. I want you to piss off River Cartwright.”

*

Cartwright, Cartwright, Cartwright.

Another name you couldn’t go five minutes in The Service without hearing. The grandson was just as famous as the grandfather although for completely different reasons. Actually, famous was the wrong word. Infamous was definitely more like it. Olivia bit her lip to avoid ranting to Fitz. He had already had enough of hearing about it in the office.

“Remember what I said?” Said Fitz, “level head.”

“But distract him,” Olivia said through gritted teeth, “I know. Trust me, I know. I have the perfect distraction.”

The only thing keeping Cartwright in The Service (if Slough House could be called that) was his grandfather. That pissed Olivia off. Anyone else would’ve been cast out but no. Precious little River Cartwright still had a job. Fuck, she thought she had left the nepo babies behind at university.

“We’re here.”

Olivia was dragged out of her thoughts as Fitz spoke. She looked up at the pub and wrinkled her nose. It looked like the type of dives she would’ve gone to as a struggling student. Flaking paint, cracked windows and a general air of unkemptness oozed from it.

“It’s a shithole.” She said

“I know but Lamb chose it so it’s not surprising. Ready?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

Fitz opened the door and gestured for Olivia to go in. Olivia sighed and tried to hold in her grimace as she entered the pub. However, when she walked on the sticky floors she couldn’t help but let out a disgusted noise.

“This your new girl, Fitz? Heard you got a new one. Thought you’d bring someone with a bit more fucking experience.”

“Jackson,” Fitz said grimly, “I’d say good to see you but we’re both too old to bullshit each other. So cut the bullshite and let's just get on with it. I doubt neither of us want to spend too long in each other's company.”

Fitz walked towards the two men in the corner of the pub with you following closely behind. Olivia had to admit, she had been curious about meeting Jackson Lamb (less so River Cartwright) but he wasn’t what she expected. She had been expecting someone like Fitz who was always very well presented and never seen out of a three piece suit. She wasn’t expecting someone who, to put it bluntly, looked like a homeless man and nothing could prepare her for the smell. His companion on the other hand…

“River Cartwright.” He said standing up and offering Olivia his hand

He flashed her a bright smile which he probably thought made him look charming. Fuck, she could just imagine what the others would be saying. Well, at least he had some manners unlike his boss. Oh well, time to ruin it.

“Olivia Moher,” she said taking it, “nice to put a face to the name of the person who crashed Stansted. I saw the video. The Park uses it as training on how not to fuck things up.”

River narrowed his eyes and let go of Olivia’s hand. Lamb let out a snort of amusement.

“Very fucking funny,” he said to Fitz, “I can see why you brought her. Now tell your fucking idiot to piss off.”

Fitz opened his mouth and quickly closed it with a snap. He nodded towards the door and Olivia took a deep breath. Secretly she was glad to get out of the pub.

“As long as you tell your Slow Horse to piss off as well.” He said

“Gladly. Cartwright, fuck off.”

“But-“

“Now!”

Even Olivia flinched at the harsh tone in Lamb’s voice and she was already nearly out of the pub. River practically pushed past her and she grimaced. Well, thís is going to be awkward. Not like she cared that is.

There was a heavy tension in the air. Olivia folded her arms and leant against a wall. She could quite bring herself to care about whether or not she hurt his feelings. Probably not the best idea to piss off someone you're meant to be working with.

“I suppose you think you’re funny.”

Olivia glanced over at River and smirked.

“I’m fucking hilarious.”

“It was a training exercise, you know. And I was set up.”

“And I was only following orders.”

“That’s the oldest excuse in the book.”

“And yours isn’t? I wonder how many agents tried that excuse before being thrown out? At least you had your family name to rely on.”

Olivia gave River a sharp smile and River slowly approached her. She pushed herself off the wall and folded her arms. She looked up and him as he said,

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“Maybe if you spent half a second thinking about it instead of asking questions you’d be able to figure it out for yourself.”

River opened his mouth to snap back but a shoot from inside the pub stopped him. Olivia and River glanced at each other in confusion. The door flung open and a furious Fitz was in the doorway. He glanced between you and snapped,

“What the fuck is this? Sexual tension?”

Both Olivia and River recoiled from each other

“Not fucking likely.” Said Olivia

“Good. Now hurry up. We have to go back to The Park.”

“Already?”

“Yes,” Fitz gave Lamb a disgusted look as he pushed past him, “it’s the only place he can’t get to.”

“I wouldn’t count on that Fitz.” Lamb practically spat the nickname

“Moher, let’s go.”

“Ok. See you around Cuntwright.”

“It’s Cartwright!”

“Yeah but Cuntwright suits you so much better!”

*

“So,” Kara kicked out and wheeled her chair over to Olivia, “what was the infamous Jackson Lamb and River Cartwright like?”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen Fitz that pissed before,” said Laura, “and I’ve been working with him for three years.”

“I’ve been working for him for ten and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him like that.” said Warren

“Cunts,” Olivia said, “especially Cartwright.”

Warren put down a mug of tea on Olivia’s desk and offered her a pack of biscuits which she gratefully took.

“Well this certainly bodes well,” Warren said, “you annoyed, Fitz pissed. Looks like they both got under your skin. I thought Fitz wanted you to do that to Cartwright, not the other way round.”

“And I did.”

“And it looks like he did the same to you,” said Kara, “say, is he as handsome as people mention? I never had the pleasure of meeting him before his fuck up.”

“His personality ruins it.” Olivia said through a mouthful of digestive

“So he is handsome,” said Kara teasingly, “careful Olive. You might find yourself compromised.”

Olivia wrinkled her nose and shook her head.

“I think I’d rather quit the Service.”

“Don’t let Lady Di hear you say that,” said Fitz, “she might just take you up on that offer.”

“Why?” Olivia asked

“Because she hates me and wants me to suffer.”

“What did you do?” Asked Laura

Fitz sighed and took off his glasses. He cleaned them on his tie before putting them back on. For the first time since Olivia met him, Fitz looked his age. He looked tired and he leant against her desk, stealing the mug of tea that Warren had made her.

“It’s ancient history,” Fitz said at last, “the past is the past and should remain so. However, when dealing with people like Jackson Lamb, the past never remains buried for long. He has an uncanny knack of digging things up at the worst possible time.”

He took a sip of the tea and winced slightly as it scolded his tongue.

“This was back before the wall fell,” he continued, “you four would be too young to remember it-”

“I vaguely remember something on the news,” said Warren, who had just turned forty, “but I was too young to take in the significance of it.”

“Well,” Fitz gave a one shoulder shrug, “I spent a lot of time behind the wall. Doing… off the record things.”

“Off the record?” asked Olivia

She glanced over at Laura and Kara. Laura mimed cutting her throat and Olivia looked over at Fitz in horror. Fitz just grimaced and said,

“What did you expect when you joined The Service? Everything to be sunshine and rainbows?”

“Have you all killed people?” Olivia asked

“Now is not the time for this conversation,” Fitz said, “We need to focus. And I need a fresh cup of tea. This is too weak.”

Fitz shoved the cup at Warren who sighed but ultimately made him a fresh one. Fitz looked at it and nodded.

“Better. You never leave the tea bag in for long enough.”

“Yes I do! The others agree with me.”

Warren turned to look for backup but suddenly everyone was interested in the floor. Even Olivia looked away, uncomfortable at seeing the hurt look on Warren’s face.

“Back to the matter at hand,” Fitz said grimly, “most of the ‘off the record’ was carried out abroad. People we,” Fitz coughed and gave a bitter smile, “found difficult.”

“And did this just happen abroad?” asked Kara, a hint of cynicism in her voice

“Well,” Fitz ran a hand over his face, “most of the time. All the stuff I did was.”

“Most,” Laura paused, “What do you mean by ‘most’.”

“You killed your own people,” said Olivia, “I thought we didn’t do that.”

Fitz shrugged again. His nonchalance about the whole situation was starting to irritate Olivia.

“We don’t.”

“Then what does Lamb have you on?” asked Olivia

“On me? Nothing.”

“So who does he have dirt on?”

“Well there’s nothing concrete,” said Fitz, “but in this game nothing needs to be. All it takes is a rumour and,”

He clicked his fingers and smiled when his team jumped,

“Gone!”

“And this is what Lamb has?” asked Laura, “something that could potentially be damaging?”

“Ladi Di wants us to check it out,” said Fitz, “yes. If it’s enough to get her spooked,” he let out a soft chuckle, “then it’s worth checking out.”

“So why are we working with the Slow Horses?” asked Laura, “they’re Slow Horses. Can we just go in and demand they hand it over?”

“Because they’re led by Jackson Lamb,” said Fitz, “and he’s someone you have to play London and Moscow Rules at the same time.”

“So what does Second Desk want us to do?” asked Olivia

“Second Desk, fuck me,” Fitz said rolling his eyes, “you don’t have to be so fucking polite in here.”

He walked towards the windows of his team's office. Fitz managed to snag one of the few remaining ones that had a view out onto Regent’s Park. For a moment his team had wondered if he had actually heard Olivia.

“Ladi Di wants us to see if he actually has what she thinks he has and get it back. So unfortunately we’re going to play the long game and go along with his pathetic little game. And in the end,”

Fitz turned around and grinned at them.

“I’m going to destroy him.”