#and another part is scared because I would be such a weirdo of a dude

[superbluebirdgirl]

Can't tell if actually a trans guy or just a cis girl who's extremely interested in trans culture...and also doesn't feel any connection to being a girl...and is lowkey obsessed with tomboy characters...and daydreams about dressing up like a dude...

[goodnightmemes]

YELLOWJACKETS SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ The only thing you should ever say to the police is, "I want my lawyer." That's why I put it on the cookie. ❜

❛ Before you go, you should take some Hawaii 5-0 punch. It's just regular Hawaiian punch, but I gave it a snazzier name. ❜

❛ I might have to break up with him. Unless I get lucky and he just disappears. ❜

❛ I don't want to talk about the future, anyways. I'm all about living in the moment. ❜

❛ You're, like, holding on to me or whatever. That's, like, haunting 101. ❜

❛ I had to cut back the rations again. There's not much left. ❜

❛ The thought of you with someone else always scared me. But it also turned me on. ❜

❛ I'll make a solid kidnapper out of you yet. ❜

❛ There's no such thing as false hope. There's just hope. ❜

❛ I'm not scared of you. I'm never gonna be scared of you. ❜

❛ This is how you're choosing to say "I love you," for the first time? ❜

❛ You weren't the only smart one. You just liked to think you were. ❜

❛ What if my only way of dealing is to numb myself into oblivion? ❜

❛ They're too focused on their own shit to even notice that I'm gone. ❜

❛ Well...you're not a picture of normalcy yourself. ❜

❛ I can feel your heart beating. ❜

❛ Everyone has their role. ❜

❛ Stop reliving this! You're in the vise grip of your trauma. ❜

❛ Every time that you try to save someone, a lot of bad shit happens. ❜

❛ Serial killers love puzzles. It's a documented fact. ❜

❛ For fuck's sake, shut up! Don't you see how much damage you are doing? ❜

❛ I don't even know where you end and I begin. ❜

❛ Believe me, if I could relax about anything ever, I promise you, I would. ❜

❛ As I'm sure you can imagine, emotions can run high in a place like this. ❜

❛ You never know when you might need to leave the country sans passport. ❜

❛ It made me feel like...I didn't know what was going to happen. And I liked that. ❜

❛ You can't blame yourself. We all did it together. ❜

❛ Dude, I don't even remember what socks I put on today. ❜

❛ I guess I'd kind of do anything to see him again, you know? ❜

❛ Moving in with you means everything in my life changes. ❜

❛ I think shit is gonna get a lot worse out here. ❜

❛ Thing is...it's one thing to point a gun at a person. It's another thing to use it. ❜

❛ There's a look people get when they realize they're going to die. It's that one. ❜

❛ My hand wasn't shaking because I was afraid. It was shaking because of how badly I wanted to do this. ❜

❛ I'm gonna live how I want to. How I know I'm meant to. And I'm gonna be the person that I know I am. ❜

❛ They're all lucky to have you. It's pretty rare to have a friend who's relentlessly got your back. ❜

❛ In small towns, everyone knows who and where the weirdos are. ❜

❛ I don't normally hitchhike and...look like this. ❜

❛ I know that you're depressed. I know that you can't see it, but I can always tell. ❜

❛ Yes, I am still depressed because it's kind of a forever thing, but I'm doing real work. ❜

❛ And I swear to God, if you lie to me again…I am so fucking over secrets. Like, I can't. ❜

❛ Oh, my fucking God. So, you… you killed a person? ❜

❛ Maybe one day I can talk to you about it, but for now, can that just be enough? ❜

❛ I don't understand why you won't see what's right in front of you. ❜

❛ I'm sorry I disappointed you. I love you even when you try to control me. But I'm okay now! ❜

❛ I think we need to get you out of here. ❜

❛ But I just got here. I don't - I don't want to leave you. ❜

❛ As parents, it's part of our job. We have to protect her, we have to shield her from making the same shitty mistakes we made. To throw our fucking bodies in front of her if that's what we have to do. ❜

❛ No, you can't deny this anymore. There is something deep inside of you that is connected to all of this. ❜

❛ So, you gonna tell me why you're here, or are we just gonna pretend this isn't super weird? ❜

❛ I'm doing a fucking thing here. I don't need you getting in my way. ❜

❛ If I happen to mention sacrificing anything on an altar, well, just ignore that part, okay? Thanks. ❜

❛ Do you get how lucky we are? Some people never find someone they trust enough to share their deepest secrets. ❜

❛ You think I'm capable of murder? ❜

❛ You're charming and impulsive, which are traits of most serial killers. Only, you pull it off. ❜

❛ Look, all I'm trying to say is, I like you regardless of your extracurricular activities. ❜

❛ That's medication for me to mind my own business. You should take two. ❜

❛ Maybe you don't have to be dying to have regrets. ❜

❛ I'm mixing my pop culture metaphors 'cause I'm fucking upset! ❜

❛ I can't ask you for your help 'cause I don't want to hurt any more of the people I love. ❜

❛ You should know better than anyone we can't define a person based on their past. ❜

❛ I don't need your fucking prayers, I need you to have my back. ❜

❛ We weren't alone out there. ❜

❛ You should get the hell away from me. I'm poison. I ruin people. ❜

❛ We did so much fucked up shit out there. And, yeah, maybe it was to survive. Maybe. But I don't think we deserved to. ❜

❛ Women have been having babies for millions of years. You're gonna be fine. ❜

❛ The wilderness recognizes your sacrifice. And so do I. ❜

❛ The power of that place. The god of that place. We did terrible things in Its name. ❜

❛ It's all your fault. There's just something wrong with you. You always do this. ❜

❛ Aren't you probably the last person who should be giving me legal advice right now? ❜

❛ I know I have no right to ask you this, but truly, what is going on with you? ❜

❛ I just want to know you haven't given up on love. ❜

❛ Maybe I have given up on love. But don't flatter yourself. It's not because of you. ❜

❛ You know I don't deserve your friendship, right? I just hurt people. ❜

❛ Suffering is inevitable. And only by meeting it with compassion can we truly begin to grow. ❜

❛ I never even wanted to be a mom. ❜

❛ I did not start out a bad person. But in case you haven't noticed, life doesn't tend to turn out the way you think it will. ❜

❛ Oh, no. What happened? Fuck, are we going to jail? ❜

❛ It's you and me against the whole world. ❜

❛ You lost a lot of blood and you were unconscious. We thought we lost you. ❜

❛ I kept surviving all this shit that should've killed me, and I just...I figured it meant something. You know, like maybe it meant that I had some kind of purpose in all of this, but, uh...Yeah. I'm not fucking seeing it. ❜

❛ I need to know why the fuck I'm still here. ❜

❛ Shouldn't you be in therapy? ❜

❛ I'm not like you, okay? I don't think of killing as a joke. ❜

❛ I really am very grateful that your hobby seems to be figuring out how to be the perfect serial killer. ❜

❛ I've always kept my daughter at arm's length. I think just out of fear that she would...die, I guess. Or maybe that she was never even real to begin with. ❜

❛ I can't have another death on my hands. ❜

❛ I can't wait for you. I don't have that kind of time. ❜

❛ Tell me, is there anything of value in this life that doesn't come with risk? ❜

❛ Does a hunt that has no violence feed anyone? ❜

❛ What, do you want to casually reminisce about our time in fucking oblivion? ❜

❛ Well, if I'm repressing things I don't know about, I am very okay with never figuring it out. ❜

❛ I know there's a lot of pain. You need to let it out. ❜

❛ I don't understand. You measured the grave to the standard six feet? ❜

❛ You're lying to me. And I want to know why. ❜

❛ Maybe [name] dying wouldn't be the worst thing. ❜

❛ When they get a whiff of how much of a liar your mom is, they'll realize that the ❜ psychopath apple doesn't fall far from the fucked-up, man-eating tree. ❜

❛ So, this is what you've all been doing with your lives? Chasing blackmailers and murdering lovers? ❜

❛ I think we can agree that it's in everyone's best interest that [name] is gone. ❜

❛ If I die, don't waste my body. Promise me. ❜

❛ I thought you loved all of me, like I love all of you. ❜

❛ We put ourselves in danger for you. You've been using us! ❜

❛ I've been trying to fix...No. I have been telling myself that I've been trying to fix things and make the problems go away, but the truth is, I've just been doing stuff that makes it worse. ❜

❛ We're all pretty messed up. It's time we finally fucking talk about it. ❜

❛ This isn't something that therapies can fix. ❜

❛ I think that you might be taking this whole, like, cult leader persona thing... a tad far. ❜

❛ I never meant... I didn't want this. ❜

❛ You started this. It's done. And it's going to save all of our lives. ❜

❛ I appreciate you trying to teach me...forgiveness. It's a nice idea. ❜

❛ I let him die in my place. It was supposed to be me. ❜

❛ You're a good person. You really don't belong in this place. ❜

❛ I'm not ashamed. I'm glad I'm alive. And I don't think that any of us who are still here should feel ashamed of that. Ever. ❜

❛ That was a beautiful false confession. I could see it came out of real love. ❜

❛ You want to help me move this body? ❜

❛ It's up to you. You can submit. Or you can run. ❜

❛ You know there's no "it," right? It was just us. ❜

❛ I never wanted to be in charge. ❜

❛ No. I'm not supposed to be here. ❜

❛ This is exactly where we belong. We've been here for years. ❜

❛ It's not evil. Just hungry. Like us. ❜

[dream-phantasm]

Leona Kingscholar x Reader: Love Letters (5)

Oops, this was supposed to be done earlier but school got in the way as usual lol

We’ll be meeting Rook soon as well as Trey again! 

Hope you enjoy!

No spoilers or warnings for now but this might change in future installments :)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 [!] | PART 6 | END

"You scared me. I almost thought you were Rook…" Ruggie shudders, jumping a little. "Uh, who's Rook?" You question him. 

"You haven't felt him yet? I think he's been watching you for most of the day. It's better for me if he targets somebody else anyway, shishi!" He gets up, dusting off his pants. "Oh, the weirdo in the…yeah, right! The letters! It was you, right?!" You accuse him.

He raises an eyebrow before a look of shock crosses his face. Ruggie bursts into another round of giggles. You glare at him, embarrassed. "It's not funny, dude! Just tell me." You huff.

"Hahaha! Ah-" You swear to the great sevens, Ruggie was clutching his stomach, wiping tears from his eyes. His reaction almost made you crack up as well. "You- You're so- Ahaha! I can't believe you…you think it's me!?" Ruggie sneers, his tail wagging slightly, "Just wait till he hears this!"

"He?!" You look at him incredulously. "So, you know who it is! Tell me!" You shake him roughly by the shoulders. 

He pushes out of your grip rather easily, much to your disappointment. "Nope, can't do that. Unless you have more than he's paying, my lips are zipped." Ruggie grins. You glare at him, it totally seems like he's teasing you. Almost everybody at this school had heard that you lived in a ramshackle dorm, therefore it was only natural to assume you have zero cents to your name as well. 

"Uh, what if I hurt you?" You wince upon hearing that come out of your mouth. You know how ridiculous you sound. 

"Shishishi, what are you going to do? You're in a bad spot, y'know." He taunts you. "Hm. If I give you a hint, will you call off your red blue duo and your cat? We can call everything forgiven, right?" This Valentines day has been torturous. It's really not that much to ask in return for information. You're sure he probably has an ulterior motive.

"Um, I can try. They don't really listen to me, and Grim's not a cat!" You scowl, wary. "If you're so sure about that. You better try real hard! Shishishi, if I tell you, maybe he'll start treating me better." He giggles the last part to himself. 

"Right! You've met him before. Pay attention to his face, he's exceptionally handsome and has green eyes." Ruggie tells you, you nod frantically along. 

You only knew about two people with green eyes at NRC that you had talked to. That would be Cater and some random first year who had matching green hair. You really doubted it was Cater and you hadn't talked to that other guy enough to warrant gifts and love letters. 

He also seemed to dislike you, for whatever reason. 

"I gotta go before that Rook finds me. Cya, shishishi!" He picks a handful of dandelions and runs off before you can even get a word in. "T-Thank you?!" You shout after him. "You and him owe me one now!" Ruggie cheerfully waves with his free hand. Then, he's just gone. 

In the distance, you see a red and blue blur approaching. 

"[Name]...stop…running off everywhere!" Ace yells as he sharply inhales, "I don't understand this crazy track-head." 

"Track-head, really? Track is a great sport to build endurance!" Deuce is a little out of breath but otherwise seems to be in better shape than Ace. "[Name]! You were so fast! Are you sure you don't want to join Track?" He turns to you excitedly. 

"Henchman! My legs are all wobbly, I'm so tired dazo!" Grim promptly falls on your feet. You pick him up with a sigh, "I can't, I'm already in the taking-care-of-Grim club."

"Are you sure that isn't a full-time job?" Ace snorts. "Nope, that's why I'm handing him off to you guys after school. Grim-sitting is on you guys in the afternoon." You smile. 

"Why can't I come with, henchman dazo?" Grim whines. "Because I'll be studying and doing boring things. It'll be more fun with ADeuce." You gently convince him. "ADeuce? You better not make that a thing." Ace huffs. "Ever since Cater called us that…I don't want to be associated with him." Deuce shudders. 

"You think I want to be associated with you? Please, you're not very good at making jokes."

"These two…" You and Grim share a look. "Class is probably starting soon, we should get going." You hope to distract them from chasing down that beastman.

 "Yeah, we'll avenge that lost deluxe menchi katsu sandwich dazo!" Grim exclaims. "Maybe you should focus on class more." A lying hypocrite you were. It was a miracle the two of you got the marks you did. Under your collaborative effort as a singular student, you both pass with decent grades. 

"Considering you two barely keep up, it's crazy you two haven't failed yet." Ace snickers. "Don't worry! If we work hard enough, we'll become honor students!" Deuce smiles, a look of determination on his face. You can't deny him. 

"I'll become the greatest magician dazo!" 

"Oh yeah, by the way, I got a hint bout my uh…admirer." You tell them as you all walk back. "Was it that — what did Cater call him again? — guy then?" Deuce curiously asks. "No, I don't think so. Ruggie told me he's attractive with green eyes and that we've met before." You explain.

"Wow, that narrows it down by a lot."

"Shut it, Ace. It's not my fault almost all of the students here are attractive."

"Green eyes…You don't think it's Cater, is it?!" Deuce gasps. "No way! Since that Ruggie guy seemed familiar with him, I assumed the…admirer…would be a Savanaclaw member." You suggest. "What, so you wanna go around Savanaclaw, looking into people's eyes?" Ace questions, clearly doubtful. 

You hadn't planned this far. "Uh…maybe?" You shrug. "And if it's some random Savanaclaw member, what'll you do about it, huh?" You hate to admit that Ace is making valid points.

"There's someone else who we could ask about this." You snap, a light bulb going off in your head, "Do you guys know a guy named Rook?"

Deuce's eyes widen in realization.

"Ah, I think I heard Trey talk about someone named that before!"

Your next lead would be the mystery stalker, Rook.

Ao3: HERE

If you see it posted anywhere or by anyone else, it's not me.

[m-o-r-t-i-s]

When and how did you find out you were a necr0phillac?

- same anon as the last couple of times lol

It's complicated, honestly. I was fascinated with... basically everything you can imagine a future necrophiliac to be fascinated with as a child.

Roadkills stuff (I won't call it taxidermy or dissections, because that'd be an insult to the current taxidermy and dissections I'm doing, haha), medicine, anatomy... And horror + "satanic" music, ofc. You name it, I probably did it, haha.

And it took pretty long to occurre to me that a lot of this stuff is not normal... Like ofc I had my family and peers freak tf out, but after I learned to hide it it was basically just another source of comfort after already being kind of alienated, and they were already freaking out about the most mundane shit, so I really wasn't even trying to understand what's their problem anymore. I just accepted that I am the problem, but never cared or tried to change. I still wouldn't change this part of me, even if I somehow could.

I never thought there's something like, seriously going on with me, because I was already in an environment that made even the most normal stuff look shameful and unnatural (catholic, conservative, small town, half of my family estranged me just for orientation and called me possessed because I liked rock, so DUDE, IF THEY ONLY KNEW HOW THAT PROGRESSED... LMAO) so why would I care if they hate yet another interest or whatever of mine?

But fast forward to when I was like 11-12, and the darker fantasies started... That's when I clocked that yeah well, that's the whole different level, ooops

First it was just the revenge/power type of violent stuff, but somehow, probably thanks to that hormonal nightmare called puberty it started merging together with the more sexual ones (wait, should I censor the adult words here, or is tumblr more normal about it than other sm?) later on.

That's also when I started to dream about dying, I had my first serious attempt at the ripe age of 12 because if death related stuff was always so comforting, why wouldn't I run straight to it when I needed comfort the most and there was no other source of it anymore?

Ok, I'm just kind of guessing with the last part, it's been over a decade now, and I don't remember what exactly was I feeling back then because yk, trauma blur and all that fun I had to undo years later.

Last step was probably in late ms, when I started to realize that I'm not built to ever be in a happy, healthy relationship for many reasons, but hey, corpses exist, so what's the problem? Or whatever deranged logic my dear brain used, lol.

And then I started reading about serial killers, learned what necrophilia is, and figured out that's the only path I can take from here (don't look at me like that, look at my brain, he's the weirdo with not always the best ideas and solutions here, haha), because somehow it never occurred to me that there are also non-offending people, and instead of researching it I went straight up to numbing it down, and trying to pretend that whatever's wrong with me (honestly, all the para stuff is not my biggest problem, and never was) is simply not there.

I was also trying way too hard to fit in and hide other things that aren't... conventional about me.

And I was really just too scared of whatever awaits me down the road to even try and clarify to myself that there might as well be nothing.

And there was also far less resources back then, most people I've seen online were... You know, the actual weird kids of the weird kid's table, if you know what I mean, lol.

[bogbees]

I've never seen anyone talk about Iruka's back scar and how Kakashi would react to it. like he probably wouldn't give much of a fuck until he heard how he got it

6:13 PM · Sep 28, 2019

like, he's all like "damn Iruka that's a gnarly scar" and Iruka smiles all sunshine and rainbows "oh yeah it's from when Naruto passed the exam!" and Kakashi just stares at him

like I'd imagine at this point Kakashi has developed some sort of positive romantically inclined feelings

so his brain is like, slow booting up the facts - I was the anbu in charge of the team looking for Naruto - Iruka found him first - Iruka's best friend had almost killed him - Naruto and Iruka had emotions - Naruto saved Iruka

and for a bit he's like "oh man if I had just been doing my job Iruka wouldn't have gotten hurt like this"

goes a bit crazy over how close he was to loosing Iruka before he even knew him and got to experience everything with Naruto and Iruka

he's like "god help me I know ab loss and that everyone you love dies holy fuck" "but Iruka is a teacher who hasn't seen combat in years!! he by rights shouldn't be in life threatening situations"

and then Iruka tells him ab how he and some random kid almost died that day at school bc of some poorly executed ninja magic and pointy objects

Kakashi looses his mind, starts laughing his ass off

Iruka laughs along bc ?? ok weirdo it wasn't that funny but ok. Naruto is so annoyed. ichiraku ramen stand dude is like, pshyic and had a feeling Kakashi was worked up over something involving Iruka is so relieved to see him getting over it

at some point Kakashi is like, still crazy ab loosing Iruka so he like keeps doing shit for Iruka so he wouldn't be in harm's way and Iruka is getting annoyed

so Iruka is like "dude I can do this myself thanks please fuck off" and Kakashi. reacts by not reacting?? he goes still and you can tell there's some shit otg

and so Kakashi fucks off. he fucks off real good. he doesn't talk to Naruto or Iruka for like a whole week, and would have gone on for several more if Iruka hadn't gotten fed up with his behaviour

so Iruka low-key sets up a trap just for Kakashi and it works bc Kakashi's brain funk is wonky

and he's like "you bastard I thought we were all having ramen together tonight but the kids said you had other shit to do - you and I both know you put off everything else till after! remember the anbu incident"

so Iruka is like "fess up what's bothering you??" kakashi looks so pathetic with one foot caught in a trap, dangling upside down from a tree, but more so because he looks so exhausted

so Kakashi talks about how when he first saw that scar, he got kinda scared ab loosing him

Iruka starts laughing until he notices Kakashi's solemn face and he's like "oh you're actually serious huh"

so. Iruka cuts Kakashi loose on the condition he doesn't run away. Kakashi would have, had Iruka not held his hand

and Iruka explains his own issues with his scar "you know, a guy I considered my best friend gave me this! it almost killed me!" kakashi pale

"so there's bad stuff ab it, but it's also the scar from when Naruto passed his exam. when we finally got on another's wave length proper, when Naruto saved me literally and I guess I sorta saved him"

Iruka explains that the scar is from a very positive part of his life. that he's grateful that it happened, if it hadn't, he wouldn't have gotten to know Naruto like he does, he wouldnt have ever met Kakashi

"you already knew me before tho" "yeah as like, passing co-workers. I wouldn't have learned what makes you tick or be able to hold your hand like this, and this is really nice, best I've ever had"

kakashi flushes red like. that's too intimate.

"Kakashi don't get embarassed you read porn in public. with a straight face."

also I'd like to have this sort of flash back to when Iruka was in the hospital and anbu Kakashi was keeping an eye on him and Naruto

[hertzwritings]

Strays

A/N: WELCOME TO FLUFFY/SMUTTY WEEKEND In this house, we do smut and fluff and requests all weekend (and Mondays) long, and what better way to finish Sunday but with Bucky fluff? I say NONE. Thank you to my absolute favorite pastry chef in the world, @buckyshattergirl​ who inspired this fic – she downright almost co-wrote it. I love you and thank you for listening to my rambling!

You can buy me a coffee here, and I’ll write you a personalized drablle, one-shot or multichapter fic – the sky is the limit for the content!

I love y’all so much and thank you so much for sticking with me. I cannot believe that so many of you read my brainfarts and loves them as much as I do. I really can’t thank you guys enough. Remember, feedback feeds the soul and my requests – and askbox – are always open – there’s no limits, because I am me, and I have none.

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ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warnings: fluff, language, slight angst, mentions of the fostercare system

Wordocunt: 2.588

Strays

  Bucky was many things, most of all intimidating. He knew that. He knew that people walked to the other side of the road, when he walked, he knew they feared the arm, he mostly kept covered, he knew they feared him breaking and going absolutely apeshit.

He relished in it as much as he hated it – he hated that he scared people but liked that he wasn’t approached in the same way as Steve or Sam was - he was mostly fine with being alone. Mostly.

Which was why he was truly confused when he came home one day to three teenagers sitting on his couch, eating his food and in unison went ‘sup, dude? – when he left the home, he shared with Y/N, there had been zero teenagers, one cat with one eye and Y/N with a devious smile. He had found her in the office, where she had pretended to be extremely cavalier about the whole thing; she had smiled at him in the way, she always had, and asked about his day.

“Y/N…” “What?” She was trying to hide her smile, he knew it, and what’s worse was that he had such a hard time standing against that damn look. Her eyes would shine with mischief and her lower lip would jut out, her nose wrinkled, and he would be lost. The everlasting issue with falling in love with your best friend and roommate, he supposed. “Why are there three strange teenagers on our couch?” “Oh, I didn’t tell you?” No, she sure as shit didn’t. “You know damn well you didn’t.” She smiled again and did that thing with her eyes. “Oh no, you don’t, you ain’t getting out of this one that easy, doll.” She whined. “Fine. Just know that it’s for a good cause.” “Doll…” She sighed and leaned against the desk. “Okay so I may or may not have signed up for fostercare, and I may or may not have agreed to take those three in.” “Which means you definitely did sign up and definitely did take them in.” He rubbed his face. “Does the foster-office know who’s living here with you?” he asked, a little scared that she either lied or lied some more. “Of course I did, I’m not an idiot. I just…” She sighed and gave him the biggest eyes, she ever had, which was saying something. He thought they had reached the limit when she “accidentally” had brought home seven stray cats. “I just had a little help, is all. Besides, all they care about is having a stable home for them.” He sighed. “And I’m a part of that stability?” She shrugged and got up, gently patting his shoulder. “You’re part of my stability, Buck.” She left the room and yelled from the stairwell. Goddamnit.

“Dinner’s in twenty!”

And that’s where it started. Three teenagers on his couch. Both him and Y/N had always been what they liked to call “stray-collectors”, and that had translated to more than just animals. He honestly didn’t really mind. He supposed they all were – in some way or another – a little broken, and the ragtag group of weirdos they had collected in the home, seemed to slowly glue the pieces together.

Y/N was born to do this. She was kind, understanding and clearly meant to wrangle a lot of people – he wasn’t too surprised about that, since she had wrangled the majority of the Avengers, every time they had to do anything – but it was so different to watch her do it with these kids. Even more had joined, and even though Bucky grumbled about space every time, he didn’t mind one bit. Their house was more than big enough.

The youngest of the bunch and the newest one was Marci, a 6-year-old girl with flaming red pigtails who had a dinosaur practically glued in her hand. She wanted nighttime cuddles, at least three different stories and the lights on, but only if it came from the Winnie the Pooh nightlight. She had night-terrors, calling out for her mom, and Bucky spent a lot of nights in her bed, just holding her. James was the second-to-youngest, 9 years old and pretty much Bucky’s twin. He liked to do just a little damage everywhere he went, always with a glint in his eye. He kept candybars under his pillow, just in case, he had told Bucky once. He didn’t question it further. Willow was one of the first teenagers, Y/N had brought home. She was 13 and the coolest kid, Bucky had ever known – she was just as tough as him, always with scraped knees from falling from her skateboard and a glare ready. Unless the lights were out. She had nightmares, and Bucky sometimes stayed up for hours to talk to her and coax her down. Sometimes, she could only fall asleep holding his hand. Peter was the weirdest, funniest kid, Bucky had ever met. Like his namesake, Peter Parker, he was wild and sometimes teenage-dumb, which caused a lot of commotion in the house. He tried to cook a few times and managed to burn boiling potatoes. He was 16 and he hated sleeping on the bed. Bucky found him several times just wandering from room to room to check on everybody else and make sure everyone was safe. Garrett was 17 and a tough guy on the outside. He was all muscle – as much as a 17-year-old could have – and had a nose for lies. He had a bullshit detector that went through the roof, but he was the worst liar. He couldn’t stand physical touch.

The bunch of kids had somehow softened Bucky, who didn’t know that was even a possibility. Well, Y/N had softened him at first, then came Alpine, the cat with a missing eye, but he was pretty sure there wasn’t anything more to get soft. He had been wrong.

He had watched Y/N read to the smallest ones and coax some of the elder kids out of panic attacks. He had carried her to bed when she fell asleep in one of the kid’s rooms, after they had a nightmare. She baked endless cookies and pies, anything to make them feel at home, and if he thought he was in love before, he had been very wrong. He was very in love with her. It didn’t help when she asked if they could move into the same room to open up a space for a set of twins; he had coughed, almost choking on his own spit, but had agreed because why wouldn’t he? It wouldn’t be the first time they shared a bed, nor would it be the last. So, to make space for Winnie and Marlow – the twins who were 10 and rambunctious but hated to wear clothes their size – he had moved into Y/N’s room, where he stayed. They talked many nights about the kids, and he even took up reading parenting-books, just to make sure he did it right. Not that he saw himself as a parent, but still. They would cuddle at night, and the scent of Y/N’s hair would calm his own nightmares, the way her body just melted into his at night, her hand on his chest, made even the worst of the nightmares feel bearable.

Marci had begun calling him dad.

He liked it. Liked someone – or several someones – trusting him. Liked the house when it was full of noise, chatter and dishes breaking (with a loud SORRY from Peter right after). He liked helping with homework (how did math change since the 40’s!?). He liked having a family.

Which is why he completely accidentally one night brought three kittens’ home. He stood in the doorway, grinning guiltily at Y/N – he was dripping down into a large puddle of rainwater, the cats mewing in his arms. She had turned to face him, wearing an apron, the kids had made for her birthday, and folded her arms. “What are those?” she asked with a barely concealed smile. “Cats.” He said matter-of-factly. “Buck, we barely have room for one, and you’ve brought home three more?” “What did you want me to do, let them get wet?” he asked indignantly. “They were mewing in a box, Y/N, I couldn’t just leave them!” “Fine. But you’re in charge of the litterbox.” She turned back to the stove, stirring a giant pot of gumbo to feed the small army in the house. “You’re the best.” He kissed her cheek. “You’re wet.” He didn’t miss the blush on her cheeks.

It was kind of weird, the family they had made without really being a family. He took the three oldest to therapy, whenever they had their appointments and waited in the car with snacks and Gatorade – their preferred colors, of course – and always returned home with all three giving him a giant hug. They weren’t scared of the arm, or his past. The youngest had begun simply hanging from his arms, giggling loudly when he carried them around, doing everyday tasks. “Buck, you’re 107, maybe you should stop?” Y/N had told him as she combed Willow’s hair and braided it. He had scoffed. “Never.” Then it became a challenge. He knew he was big and muscular, but he did his very best to get even bigger, simply so he could carry 4 kids and two grocery bags with his non-bionic arm. Just because. it didn’t hurt that he saw Y/N’s breath hitch and the way she sucked her lower lip in between her teeth whenever he did it. The teenagers thought it was hilarious too, mostly because he could also carry them – or at least lift them – with his bionic arm. Sam called him a human tree once.

Despite the animosity that had lingered between Tony and Bucky, Tony was pretty much a benefactor and cool uncle to the household. Even though Y/N didn’t work for Tony anymore, he still paid her – and a lot more than he did when she did work for him – because he wanted to. That way, he made sure that Y/N only did consulting work and could stay with the kids for as long as they needed her. All of the Avengers were becoming extended family for the kids and Y/N and Bucky. It was kind of fun, having barbeques in their yard, the weird mix of stray people without anyone else, all crammed against a rickety table Bucky had managed to build. It felt oddly comforting, seeing that many people laughing, joking and taking care of each other. Natascha was teaching the girls how to do self-defense, while Sam had starting using red wing to deliver late-night messages to the kids. Steve kicked around Hacky sacks with the eldest kids. Wanda read stories to the youngest. Willow didn’t wake up with nightmares as much anymore. Peter had stopped looking into every room at night. Winnie and Marlow were beginning to be okay with wearing the right size of clothing.

Bucky felt more at ease every day. Once, he spotted bags and bags of fridge-magnets when he was shopping and stuffed about 60 dollars’ worth of them in his cart. When he poured them on the table, all of the kids had giggled in joy and they all began sticking them to his arm. Y/N had watched with the softest smile on her lips.

It became routine with the magnets; if they were having a bad day, they’d tug on his sleeve and he’d simply tear the sleeve off (which made Y/N lose it; Buck, I cannot keep fixing your shirts, for heaven’s sake!) and sit down, letting them write out whatever they wanted. It helped them get their feelings out without trashing something – or themselves – which seemed like a healthier way to go about it. Only problem was that Bucky sometimes forgot they were there and that the sleeve of his shirt was not, because he couldn’t feel right with the arm at any rate. That had led to some worrisome shopping trips, where his arm had been plastered in suck my ass and cock and titties, which the older women in the shop did not appreciate.

Y/N laughed at it, and he grumbled about it, but the magnets went back to the fridge every time, ready for the next time they needed it.

Marci could sleep with the lights out, and James had begun sharing his candybars. Y/N held his hand at night, kissing the knuckles. He kissed her forehead every morning. Garrett stopped fighting in school when Bucky brought him to boxing – they had some time together, simply punching away at bags, and Garrett had told Bucky that he felt like Bucky was his cool stepdad. That almost made Bucky cry. If anyone asked about the wet cheeks, they saw nothing. When Christmas rolled around, Y/N and Bucky had cried their eyes out at the gifts, the kids had made for them. Bucky got a macaroni-necklace from Winnie and a matching bracelet from Marlow, and he never took them off. Y/N had been bestowed with a book of stories about a pig (drawn by James) called Y/N who went on adventures with her piglets in the magic forest (drawn by Marci). The teenagers had all made two matching family-calendars with pictures of the bunch for both Bucky and Y/N. The kids themselves had been showered with gifts, all of the Avengers apparently thought of them as much as their kids, as Bucky and Y/N did. Peter had gotten a lab-set from Bruce, from which he managed to make something explode within the hour. Marci got a robot-dinosaur from Tony that responded to voice commands and had a very realistic voice-box. James got several books from Wanda, while Willow got several cool jackets from Nat (FUCK yes, Auntie Nat is the best), Garrett got old-school boxing-gloves from Steve and Winnie got a star named after her from Vision, who explained exactly how the star was discovered. Marlow got toys from Asgard from Thor, just to name a few.

Y/N had gotten Bucky a kiss.

Bucky had gotten her a ring.

When Garrett got accepted into college on a boxing-scholarship, Bucky had almost torn the house in two from excitement. Y/N had cried about him leaving home so soon, but Garrett had hugged her and told her, that Tony said that he always had the jet at the ready for his favorite sportsman. When Willow won her first skate-competition, the entire family had cheered from the bleachers, all of them rushing to hug her tightly and she had sobbed, whispering how great it was to finally have a home. Bucky found a dog on the street and brought it home – Marlow, Marci and James named it Ragtag. Y/N had hugged him and berated him lightly. “You know we’re running out of space, right?” He shrugged. “Yeah, well…” He kissed her cheek, just like he did with the cats.  

When they decided to adopt all of the kids as their own, Bucky realized that it wouldn’t be enough to just be sort of free from nightmares. It wouldn’t be enough to read the parenting books or drive them to therapy, or even hold them when they cried. He needed to fix himself, as well.

So, when he showed up to Dr. Raynor’s office with a scowl, she met him with a knowing smirk.

“My girl is fostering kids. I wanna do better.” “Your girl?” “Shuddup.” She chuckled dryly at that.

“Well, then. Off we go.”  

  ----------------

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[w1cked-w1tch]

I'm glad people are liking my captains vs espada post! I put a lot of thought into it and it's not even everything I wanted to write lol let's let my autism dissect Mayuri some more, shall we?

Ashisogi Jizo being a baby I think has more to do with Mayuri's obsession with creating life. I have yet to decide if I think it being a Jizo has any real significance or not. Theres a ton of Buddhist symbols where zanpakuto are concerned and thus far its been hard to parse out what's there because it's relevant to the character and what's there because Kubo thought it was neat. I fully plan on looking more into it at some point though, maybe there will be another essay about that in the future.

Ashisogi Jizo, and more specifically Konjiki Ashisogi Jizo, plays HEAVILY into the aposematism aspect of his character design. Mayuri very much wants to broadcast "don't fuck with me, I'm poisonous and I'll fuck you up" which is..... interesting. Why poisonous instead of venomous, and how do we know? Aposematism occurs in both kinds of animals right? Well, think about it. Konjiki Ashisogi Jizo is a giant caterpillar thing, right? There ARE venomous caterpillars, but they're spiky or hairy. Ashisogi Jizo is not. Mayuri does make HIMSELF look this way, but why hasn't he made Ashisogi Jizo spiky or hairy? We know that he can. Both the sealed form AND his shikai have been made to look somewhat spiky. We know he can alter the appearance of a zanpakuto spirit. So why doesn't he do it?

If you don't want to dig too deep into it, you could just say "he just wants to be the poison/venom bug man cuz he's a weirdo" which..... true..... BUT! There are a couple things that don't quite fit here. Mayuri Kurotsuchi is underweight. He's 5'8 and 119 lbs (174 cm and 54kg). Dudes real thin. Look at how big he makes himself look with this clothing.

Now, this could feed into the aposematic shtick. Lots of animals who use aposematism use displays that make themselves look bigger than they are. Except...... they only do it when they think they're being actively threatened. Who in their right mind would make themselves a threat to Mayuri Fucking Kurotsuchi inside the seireitei? Nobody is threatening his position or his safety. No this is a perceived threat to his more intimate, squishy parts. His emotions.

His attitude feeds into this. Yeah, crazy mad scientist guy, thinks he's the best in the whole wide world. That trope doesn't require the shitty ass attitude though. During the battle with Szayelaporro, when he's looking at Nemu after Szayelaporro uses Gabriel and emerges from her its drawn out. He stares at her for a while, it felt like an eternity the first time I watched it. And he looks...... upset. Sad. It's barely perceptible, you could easily miss it and I thought I was imagining things until we see him staring again later in the fight with a completely blank expression.

Mayuri is softer than he lets on. Softer than he wants ANYONE to see, and he uses his appearance and his venomous attitude to keep people at bay. To keep people from seeing his soft white underbelly. His vulnerability. I'm certain he has a lot of fun with his appearance, it's a cool concept and I can't imagine how much fun it must be playing around with it. But there's a reason nobody but Nemu ever sees him without it. I have a similar experience with makeup and shitty attitude. My appearance in public is a physical representation of the wall I've built. My makeup is a physical mask. My facial expressions are a deterant. My shitty attitude usually takes care of anyone brave enough to still approach me. I love makeup, I love fashion, and I have a lot of fun putting together the version of me other people see.

So, from my perspective, Mayuri's appearance is absolutely a representation of his weirdness and his scientific mind but it's also a representation of his fear. This is why I think Mayuri is poisonous, rather than venomous. All of the offensive posturing is a bluff meant to scare you away. The venom he wants you to believe he has doesn't exist. Poison certainly has built up in his system, like a monarch caterpillar, so if you "eat" him you will feel the effects, but he's nowhere near as dangerous as he'd like you to believe. I think some subconscious part of his brain wants somebody to figure it out and thats why he hasnt modified Konjiki Ashisogi Jizo to look venomous.

Maybe I'm just projecting though who knows🤷‍♀️ what I DO know is that I'd let him do all kinds of weird, nasty things to me. For science of course.

[haik-choo]

karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o

request: Could you write how 1st years (yachi too pls🥺) going out with their s/o late at night ?

a/n: this is such a cute little concept i -- 

[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]

-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi

tsukishima kei.

not gonna lie, he’s often awake late at night. he’s a night owl and doesn’t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos

occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brother’s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets

so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses

wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you aren’t left out by yourself

tsukishima knows there’s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when he’s the first one there

as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours

he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu

is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare

eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3

pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying

“im trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut up”

secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it

tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you

you: stop lying i know you’re a closet hopeless romantic 

convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones

tsukishima when he’s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softly “love you” 

all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs with 

kageyama tobio.

"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morning”

kags really out here kinda hurtin’ your feelin’s ngl boy doesn’t understand the vibes LOL

honestly you probably woke him up, he’s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL) 

only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and you’d toss a few for him....and also because he’s a little worried because it’s so dark out

doesn’t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL

he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything

“you know,,,,we’re not playing a game, right, tobio?”

“yeah???? and??? what’s your point”

acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because it’s cool out, there’s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars

he’s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that he’ll ever say that though

you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasn’t even broken a sweat (”you’re already tired? maybe you should workout more” “shut UP kageyama”)

you both sit on the bench, and you’re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but they’re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night

kageyama can’t take a hint. we know this. he’s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person

he doesn’t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesn’t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind

plus he doesn’t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks it’s obvious that he likes you

despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and he’s pretty protective of you, so you’re completely safe with him. trust him, he’ll keep you safe

all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves you 

yamaguchi tadashi.

is in bed by 11pm but doesn’t actually go to sleep until two am because he’s scrolling through tiktok on his phone

sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that says “ill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)”

he walks all the way to your house, even if it’s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! he’s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence

despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you can’t tell me that he can’t read people in a heartbeat -- he’s extremely perceptive 

also texts you to not bring a jacket because he’s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell

he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman

lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listens 

joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation

sees that there’s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that you’re further away from the stranger 

also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while

when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot

and damn, he’s right

it’s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit on 

pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRG 

is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you

you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what. 

yamaguchi: ...because i love you?

you: *K.O*

all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3 

hinata shoyo.

is either completely fast asleep and doesn’t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between

but if he’s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA

literally doesn’t even show up in sneakers. he’s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve top 

“i came in my pjs”

“i see that.”

asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesn’t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hour 

he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comforting 

has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given

so, no, he doesn’t notice any weriod people even if there are some around

you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because let’s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads) 

you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation( “she asked me to marry you the other day” “doirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHAT” “what? i told her i would. i keep my promises!”)

after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple

you share a sundae because you don’t want to eat too much this late at night

he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone

he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and it’s during this time where you’re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppost 

he can’t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself

that he really will marry you one day

all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream

yachi hitoka.

another either or, except this time she’s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day

when you ask if she can go on a walk with you she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want to get in trouble with her mom and she’s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes

you: good. i’m outside your door btw

yachi: i never had a choice did i

you have to meet her at her house because she’s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because she’s worried for you

jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself

instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesn’t hear what you say

so you offer to go to a little cafe that’s still open and right away she nods

she’s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late

and finally, because you two are safe, she’s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie

awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours

canon: yachi totally has freckles and you can’t convince me otherwise 

her face is red and her freckles are just on display you can’t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?

you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her home 

and this time on the walk she’s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers

does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3

you: stop. please. im going to die.

when you’re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside

video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safely 

all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanks      

[momoshin]

[11:09pm] you’re not drunk enough for this. you try to ignore his poor attempts at getting your attention while waiting for your next drink. but a big part of you regrets telling ryujin she could stay at the booth when she asked if you wanted her to come with you. because no matter how many times you turned your back on this asshole, he kept coming back.

“hey- baby. just one drink, we can talk and get to know each other, if you don’t feel comfortable after that then i’ll let you go” he raises his hands in a sign of innocence, yet he’s none of the sort.

“i’m not interested” you try to be polite, send him a fake smile, you know.. what the hell is taking your bartender so long?

“but you don’t even know me! sugar-“

“really, im not. i have a girlfriend” finally, the bartender comes back in view, not with your drink yet, but now apparently able to start making it, this should only take a minute or two.

well, a minute was enough time for him to finish pestering you, because after the understanding oh he lets out he says “you’re probably just confused”

“confused? confused about what?”

“about being gay, have you even had sex with a man?” he sits down on the stool, again, and you keep jumping from one foot to another waiting for your drink, that’s what catches ryujin’s attention from afar. “i mean, have you ever had a good dick? you probably haven’t.. let me tell you, im the solution to that- i would-“

“dude. i can see you from the fucking booth, leave her alone” ryujin startles you, voice deeper than ever as she puts her hands on your waist and a part of you thinks it’s to scare the dude off, but you fall into her chest anyways. “and by the way, she doesn’t need you or your three inch dick to know if she’s straight or not. which- she’s not, by the way. if anyone helped her with any confusions it was me.”

“i wasn’t even talking to you.” he shrugs, not processing a word of what she had just told him.

“well you are now, pussy. can’t get girls on your own so you harass them until they say yes.” ryujin scoffs, putting you behind her and pushing the sleeves of her crop top to her elbows.

“baby..” you start “let’s not cause a scene”

“he already did.” she answers “if you don’t get the fuck out of my face in thirty seconds im going to get you a free trip to the emergency room. twenty nine, twenty eight-“

“alright, alright i get it. fucking weirdos. i never wanted to fuck her anyway” he rolls his eyes and stomps his way out to the dance floor, ryujin quickly turning around to look at you.

“i told you i’d come with you.” she starts, brows scrunched together more for anger of not being able to protect you from the beginning than you being alone.

“that was hot” you ignore her comments and try to smooth her frown with your thumb. “can we get out of here? that guy kinda ruined my night”

[tanzaniiite]

can i request the trend of tiktok “the faster you get to me the more kisses you get!” with tsukishima, akaashi, bokuto and hinata? 🥺👉👈

“THE FASTER YOU GET TO ME, THE MORE KISSES YOU GET” TREND

w/ tsukishima, akaashi, bokuto, hinata & iwaizumi

requests: OPEN

warnings: talk of pee and poop in iwaizumi’s

a/n: of course you can! thanks for the request! 💓 (also the trend is used more as a prompt than it is as the main focus whoops 🤡)

i added iwaizumi bc he was requested in another ask so i just merged the two. my character limit is still four max!

who gave him the right 🥵

the salt lick himself

this dude is annoyingggg

you already knew what his reaction was gonna be,, so why bother?

welll you just wanted to be like all the other tiktok girls 👉🏽👈🏽

you wait until you see tsukki and yama walking out of the club room and towards you

you’re bracing yourself for the embarrassment

“babe! the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get!”

no shit, he stops in his tracks. yama’s just looking at him like ‘what you finna do?’

you know what he does? turns around and starts walking in THE OTHER DIRECTION

you are… baffled

when finally catch up to him, you’re pouting

“dude, what the hell?”

he glances at you, then flicks your forehead dummy hard

you’re triggered, “did you just flick me?”

this snarky mf is now laughing at you

btw yamaguchi is very uncomfortable rn

tsukishima the leans down, bean pole headass, and kisses your forehead

“sorry i don’t do dumb tik tok trends”

“it’s not dumb! you just didn’t want to kiss me”

he looks at you with an unimpressed look, as if saying, ‘we both know that’s not true’

alas you’re still pouting

yama: “haha this is me, see you guys tmmr” *leaves in awkward*

tsukishima knows your not gonna stop acting like a baby until he gives you what you want

he sighs, walks a couple feet away from you, pulls out his phone and starts recording

“say the thing”

“huh?”

“the trend thing. say it”

your eyes light up so much and tsukki smiles a bit

he’s so soft for you uwu

“the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get!”

because he’s a tall boi, it only takes him a few steps to get to you but when he does, he kisses you hard

like damn, okay sir

when he pulls away you’re flustered asf, he chuckles and stops recording

“happy?”

this poor boy wouldn’t know a tiktok trend if it punched him the face

i hate to say it, but he’s a boomer 😔🤘🏽 just like dadchi

he’s at your house picking you up for a date and your sibling is bombarding him with questions

when you come out, akaashi is like ‘oh thank goodness’

you smile at him, then wack your sibling in their side

“stop bothering him you weirdo!”

“what we’re just having a nice lil chat”

you shake your head and start to walk away but your sibling is holding akaashi back, giving him the typical ‘you hurt her, i kill you’ speech

now you know your boyfriend is great when he’s under pressure but.. this is new territory for him

you remember a trend that you saw a while back and decide to do it now

you know keiji wants your family to like him, so he’ll be conflicted between going to you or staying and listening to your siblings speech

it’s perfect really

so you pull out your phone and start recording

“baby! the faster you get to me, the sooner we can go on our date and the more kisses you’ll get”

my guy just blinks, “it is getting late..”. plus he’s not opposed to the kissing part so he starts to walk towards you

“hey! i’m not done talking to you”

‘that’s true, it would be rude of me to walk away mid conversation… if you could even call it that’ he thinks

you laugh slightly, you can practically see the gears spinning in his head

“keiji come on we don’t have all day”

“don’t you walk away from me”

akaashi sighs loudly. the longer he spends talking to your sibling the less time he has with you. if he walks away, he’s at risk of your sibling hating him. he’s stumped.

suddenly he turns to your sibling, “sorry l/n, we can continue this discussion later. y/n and i have a date that’s very time sensitive. i apologize”

he then walks to you and grabs your hand before walking off

“y’know my crackhead sibling was just mess with you right? you could’ve just walked away”

“i figured, but that’s still rude”

ugh we stan boy who has manners

“so.. um, may i get a kiss now?”

omg he’s so cute i love him 🥺

you grin and pepper his face with a bunch of kisses, making him blush slightly

tbh you don’t even need to ask, this dude is infatuated w/ you

he’ll run to you any day of the week

but what had happened was.. y’all were on a date and bokuto went to go get ice cream

but that was like 15 mins ago and you’re just sitting on the park bench looking like a fool

and ngl you were a little worried bc bokuto is so easy to distract you’re thinking he fell into a pond or something

so you go to look for him and tbh it doesn’t take long cause cmon,, it’s bokuto

he be loud asf

n e ways, there he is in all his glory playing with a German Shepard who looked like it was trying so hard not to bite him

the owner looked nervous asf but was probably too nervous to say something social anixety be like that

bokuto spots you and waves at you frantically

“hey babe! look at this dog! it’s so cute!”

ugh bless him

you send the owner an apologetic look and turn back to bokuto

“it is cute but i think you’re aggravating it.. i don’t want you to get bitten. let’s go”

“it won’t bite me!” *to dog* “right? you’re too good to bite me, yes you are, yes you are”

*inhales* this stubborn kid, so now you got to think of a new tactic

you suddenly remember that bokuto is affectionate x1 mil

he would never miss a chance to be smothered in love

this was as good a time as any to do this trend and save your bf in the process :))

you whip out your phone, “hey baby? the faster you get to me, the more kisses you get”

when i tell you his head SWIVELED

the dude is an owl confirmed 🙌🏽

literally almost trips trying to get to you, now he’s looking at you like an excited puppy ready for pats

the owner gives you thankful look and leaves

bokuto is still staring at you, waiting for his smooches

so you deliver 😌 you grab his face and kiss all around and place a final kiss on his lips

bokuto looks so happy, like he’s smiling so wide rn

all hail tiktok it rly be saving your stupid boyfriend

my bby 🥺

he loves you so so so so much

hinata will do anything for you yes anything

and the feeling is mutual, but sometimes you cannot comprehend what goes on in that mind if his

like,, you could not, for the life of you, understand why he ran into MOVING TRAFFIC

let me tell you what happened

so you were shopping with your friends (and just to clarify y’all were a strip where there’s a bunch of stores on each block)

you guys were just casual walking and then your friend pointed out that it sounded like someone was calling your name

you looked around and there was your orange fuzzy bouncing up and down on the other side of the street

“BABY! BABE! Y/N! LOOK!”

too cute i swear

you smiled and waved, “hi baby!”

“wait until i get across this street imma kiss you so hard!”

cue your friends gagging

you giggle and decide to reference a tiktok cause why not?

“the faster you get to me, the more kisses you can get!”

b-but he thought you were serious

so yes he ran into the middle of a busy street

you are traumatized, paralyzed with fear if you will, you thought your boyfriend was going to die right in front of you

when he finally reached you, you scolded him mother hen mode activated

“why the hell would you do that hinata?!”

uh oh, you used his last name.. not good

“but you said–”

“i was joking!”

oh. now he’s embarrassed and sad bc you’re mad at him

at least he thought you were until you grabbed him and hugged him tightly, “don’t ever do any dumb shit like that again, okay? you scared me”

“i won’t,, but since i did risk my life, can i get a kiss?”

“NO.”

i feel like y’all have a relationship where you guys can be mean(?) to each other w/o getting offended

so you guys are at your house watching Netflix together and he suddenly gets up and leaves your room

“where are you going?”

“gotta piss”

istg i hate the word “piss” but IK he says that instead of “pee”

n e ways you resume watching the show but your bf’s been gone for like 10 mins

you go to the bathroom and knock on the door, “hey, you good in there? it doesn’t take 10 minutes to pee”

you hear him groan, “fuck off”

and then,, it all clicks, “are you constipated?!”

“FUCK OFF”

now you’re laughing your ass of bc what the fuck

“don’t clog my toilet nasty”

“y/n i swear to god if you don’t leave me alone–”

“what? are you gonna fling your doo doo on me?”

you finally stop teasing him and go back to your room

you send him a text, ‘still constipated? 💩’

‘breaking up w/ you is looking mighty tempting rn 🥴’

‘rude 🤧 but hey, the faster you poop, the more kisses you get’

this dude left you on read

and didn’t return until 20 mins later

“damn i know my bathroom stinks now”

“shut up and give me my kisses”

you raise an eyebrow, “i– you took 20 mins”

“okay.. did you want me to get up mid shit and come to you?”

you don’t why but that shit had you cackling, you reach up and pull him close to you

you give him a couple of pecks and a deep kiss

aww he’s smiling 🥺

“i love you my lil doo doo machine”

he pushed you off your bed

tanzaniiite © 2020 — all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, or copy. do not plagiarize. thank you.

[skiplo-wave]

I didn't have to worry weirdo males that didn't like the word no. I have a dad that is a taekwondo instructor and six older brothers. Skip the shit that they use to do....

I remember this time in the 5th grade it was band night and all the kids was sitting in the front bleachers and the parents was sitting behind them. It so happen the teacher arranged our seating, my dad didn't know this so they placed me by a boy my dad thought I liked because we was sitting next to each other. He slammed his foot down between us LMFAO. He literally scared the shit out of the kid. We was just friends.

So than in 7th grade, I am finally in the church youth group and we go to youth camp they had every October. My two older brothers was part of the camp staff. They followed my every move. They guarded the bathroom from the outside every time I took a shower. They would send one of the female staffs that would go around at 10pm to make sure everyone was in the cabins, they had them double check my cabin to make sure I was okay lol. Than the third day on the trip, we played capture the flag in the dark. Me and this one guy gets lost in the woods. Finally when we made it back, my brothers look like they was about to have heart attacks or something. They thought at first me and him snuck off and was doing something. You know what I mean. My eldest brother was like "Did he try something with you? You can tell me. Did he touch you? Did he try to put his arms around you?" NO! xD I barely knew the dude.

And this started a whole ass other drama because there was this girl that liked the dude I got lost in the woods with and she made up a rumor that me & him had sex. And this she came up with another rumor that I was pregnant. Mind you I was 13 and this dude was 14.

Finally the truth came out and she got her karma. But that's another story.

I could go on. Like the time my brothers volunteer as chaperones for both my junior and senior year proms. Or the time that I didn't know that my brothers had followed me when I tried to sneak out for a party xD

The thing is though... That was the only time my brothers did not snitch on me. All 7 of us had one beer. That's when I got my first black mail against them if they ever tried snitching on me.

Nobody has stronger defense team than being only girl in family with overprotective brothers and a dad lol

👀 also let’s hear that story

[luulapants]

Stories We Tell

When I was eight years old, my parents split up, and my dad, as divorced dads are wont to do, got a shitty apartment in a weird neighborhood.

The building was two stories with sixteen units. There was an in-ground pool out back, unheated in the shade, so the temperature hovered just above arctic. Half the time, instead of swimming, you ended up fishing a dead squirrel out and changing your mind. The laundry room in the basement flooded every time it rained. The appliances were junk, constantly breaking. The doors and locks, too. The landlord never fixed anything.

I didn’t give much thought to the neighbors until I was fourteen, when my dad got full custody. Someone broke into our ground floor apartment around the same time (and by “broke in,” I mean waltzed through a door with a broken lock) so we moved to the second floor, where it was a little safer. Our new balcony looked out over the rodent graveyard pool.

Over the next few years, I developed a colorful picture of our neighbors:

--

Across the hall was Doris, a madam and a raging alcoholic. She was in her fifties or sixties, but there were always astoundingly attractive young women coming and going from her apartment. She threw parties where she was the oldest woman by about three decades.

On quieter nights, Doris would sit on her balcony and get wine-drunk. If my friends and I were walking past, she would lean over the railing and shout super appropriate things at us like, “Izzat yer boyfriend, honey? R’you two using protection?!”

One time, my dad did some legal work for Doris. She paid him with two cases of wine.

(My dad doesn’t drink wine, but somehow, it was still gone by the end of the summer. I dunno, Dad, it’s a mystery to me. Couldn’t tell ya.)

--

Next to Doris was a big old dude that used to stand on his balcony in whitey tighties and watch me and the other kids while we waited for the bus. I never learned much about him, except he was creepy with a capital “Eeeugh.”

--

Across the hall from Captain Underpants were the Five to Eight Guys. So called because there were at least five of them living in that two-bedroom apartment, but no more than eight. They all looked vaguely the same: twenty-something stoners with a lot of tattoos and piercings and a fashion sense that hovered somewhere between Hot Topic and PacSun, while somehow managing to be worse than either.

I don’t think all of them were drug dealers. But at least some of them were. Absolutely. People would go into the apartment and re-emerge thirty minutes later in a veritable cloud of smoke. Our coat closet shared a wall with them, and my coats always reeked of pot. I mostly started smoking because people assumed anyway.

The summer after my Freshman year, they hung blankets up around their balcony to create an extra room. I told my dad, “That’s smart – there’s so many of them living in there, so they made an extra bedroom.”

My dad looked up at the tell-tale red glow of a grow lamp peeking out through the cracks of the blankets and told me, “Kiddo, I don’t think it’s a bedroom.”

--

Below the Five to Eight Guys were two elderly nuns.

Yes, really.

They never had a mean word for anyone: not the madam, not the drug dealers, not the creepy old man standing outside in his briefs. That wasn’t to say they had a kind word for them. Their go-to was smiling and minding their own fucking business.

I liked to think of them as our building security. Because, sure, we had no real security to speak of. The doors were always propped open, and I don’t think there was a functional smoke alarm in the entire building.

But surely God wasn’t going to let anything too bad happen to a building with nuns living in it, right?

--

Next door to the nuns was the strangest of the whole lot: Crazy Cat Man. He was Russian, in his seventies, and had lived in the building since before the landlord added the ‘no pets’ rule to the lease. And I’m pretty sure Crazy Cat Man was reasons A through Z for that rule.

I never got a real count on the cats, but it was somewhere in the ballpark of ten. But ten cats wasn’t enough to sate Crazy Cat Man’s love for animals. Oh, no.

One winter, he decided to feed the geese, and hangry geese laid siege to the building for weeks.

Another time, I heard the landlord’s voice downstairs. He was screaming, “What the fuck is the matter with you!”

And Crazy Cat Man was yelling back, “I no let squirrel in the apartment! I never!”

He had. He had spent weeks feeding the squirrels, getting friendly with them. Then he started cracking the patio door to lure them inside.

Crazy Cat Man was married. His wife had albinism and was photo-sensitive, so I only ever saw her outside once.

See, once a year, Crazy Cat man delivered phone books. It was his only job. He spent the rest of the year trying to fix his van up so it would run well enough to deliver the phone books. He was constantly working on it. Every part he put in, the van attacked and destroyed like a body rejecting a donor organ.

One day, he hadn’t pulled the van quite far enough into his garage, so when he lowered the garage door, it hit the back bumper and got stuck. That day, I learned that his wife’s absolute favorite thing in the world was watching her husband be incompetent, because she came out of the apartment for once. He couldn’t get the door back up, so he had to try to crawl under it to get inside the garage, and she was standing there shouting, “My husband is an idiot! My husband is an idiot!”

My dad and I stopped to watch this seventy year old man crawl under a mechanically compromised garage door. My dad said to her, “If he’s not careful, he’s going to be a dead idiot.”

The albino wife turned to him and hissed, “I should be so lucky.”

--

My senior year of high school, the recession hit, and my dad’s law practice went under, and my older brother died of a brain aneurysm. A week after I graduated, my dad told me we were going to be evicted, and I’d have to find somewhere else to stay until I went to college.

We moved everything out of the apartment, so nothing would be trashed when they evicted us. My dad ran off to the mountains to contemplate suicide (as one does), and, for about a month, I had this big, empty apartment to myself. My friends and I threw parties, got drunk. Hot boxed the bathroom.

And I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor in the living room, because it felt too weird to sleep in my old room with none of my things in it.

Late one of those nights, alone in my empty apartment, I heard screaming outside. I went on the balcony. All the neighbors were coming outside to see what the noise was.

On the property behind ours, across from the squirrel-killing pool, there was a huge cottonwood tree, maybe fifty feet tall. On the end of this long branch near the top, there was a raccoon. Closer to the trunk were two more. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard a raccoon scream, but it’s almost human sounding.

One of the two at the trunk rushed at the third, and forced it farther to the end of the branch. Then the two raccoons started bouncing the branch. The one at the end screamed.

I think we all realized what was happening at the same time, because I heard someone downstairs say, “What the fuck,” at the same time I thought it.

It took a long time. Pushing the raccoon back, then bouncing the branch, then pushing it back again. By the end, the one raccoon was hanging from the end of the branch, which was pointing straight down. It was screaming continuously.

When it finally fell, you could hear the thud.

I heard the same person say, “What the fuck,” and I had no idea who it was.

--

If found out years later that the rumor in the complex about my dad was that he’d been a lawyer for the mob, and he got on someone’s shit list, and that’s how he ended up so broke. And it’s why he had to disappear so suddenly.

The truth was, my dad was a good lawyer, but a terrible businessman. His clients were mostly small businesses and everyday people. When they didn’t pay him, he assumed it was because they didn’t have the money, and he didn’t want to rub it in by asking.

When I heard that theory, it occurred to me that I had created characters out of our neighbors with no real regard for what was true or logical, only what was interesting. I think that night with the raccoons was the closest I ever got to any of them, as real people. Standing in the dark, faceless, watching something horrible that we had no control over.

I’m not sure what the rumors about me were, but here’s the truth: by all logic, I should have been a pretty miserable kid. My dad had untreated depression, and sometimes he stayed in bed for days. When there was no food in the fridge, I assumed it was because we didn’t have the money, and I didn’t want to rub it in by asking. I went to friends’ houses to eat. That guy that broke into our apartment when I was fourteen? He had a brain tumor, and he thought I was his girlfriend. And I should have been scared shitless that a forty-something year old man had tried to get in bed with me before my dad woke up and beat the bajezus out of him in front of me.

But instead, I started making these stories about the weirdos we lived with. I loved them. I was obsessed with them. I talked about them all the time.

“Say, Julia, how are things at home?”

“Well, you’ll never guess what the Five to Eight Guys were up to yesterday, let me tell you!”

--

I saw Crazy Cat Man two years ago. He’s still delivering phone books, and he looks nothing like I remember him.

[ayasmess]

Demonic!Yugyeom x OC | Kinktober: all sins week | Smut (sensory deprivation), angst 

words: 3.4k+

Every year, you receive a letter. Every year, you just put it in the left compartment of your closet. But you’d never open them. After all, you swore to never touch it again. Witchcraft.

Your mother tried to make you believe in it, even on her deathbed, and still, you refused.

But what if one night, when you’re not thinking right, you invoked him. Would it be your worst mistake?

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” Your friend asked through the phone.

While putting her on speaker, you went to your closet, putting back some clothes, always avoiding the left compartment. “I meant what I said. I don’t feel good about standing in the same room with my ex and his amazing fiancée who by the way is my childhood friend.”

You heard a sigh. “It’s been 2 years, I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel like that, all I’m saying is that you could meet other people.”

“Why would I meet other people? I have you guys.”

“Maybe because you can’t screw your friend and you need some.”

“Who said we can’t— okay no I’m good without screwing you.” You laughed and stop arguing. “I have to go, but as I told you, enjoy the party, I probably won’t be there.” You replied and hung up before she could even complain.

Maybe something was wrong with you, maybe you should have said yes. Maybe not being close to that box would have been the salvation to your pain. But that night, you decided that he was your salvation.

Do you regret it?

Are you scared of the night?

Do you fear him or you?

 For the whole week, you tried to organize your room, again and again. As if something was wrong, you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. You moved all your furniture, even reorganize your closet. But you never touched that left compartment, as if it was cursed.

Those letters were cursed, after all, they bore his seal.

 The week passed, the night of Halloween, your friend insisted to come to your house at least before the party. She didn’t like the thought of you being alone that day. So here you were, both of you on the floor of your bedroom, alcohol in your blood, for god’s know how long. You were not the type to drink that much but tonight was different.

“I still don’t understand why you don’t want to go to the party... You know we still have time.” She looked at you, smirking.

You sighed. “I don’t know, it feels wrong. To be there and to see his happily ever after face, while I’m just a drunken ex who can’t get over him.”

“We all know it’s not him you have to get over. It’s hard sometimes to move on when you feel like you’re in a hole and everyone just keeps moving.”

“And that hole is so big. God, I can’t even see the outside.” You drunkenly admitted.

“Girl, we’re so drunk, we don’t make sense.” She laughed as she got up. “Come on.”

You looked at her puzzled. “What?”

“Remember what your mom used to say? To enjoy the day without thinking about tomorrow and if a dude can’t appreciate your boobs just go for another one.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what she used to say...” You snickered.

“Let’s go to that fucking party and have fun. Who cares about that trash and his trashoe. We’re going to have fun and... and I forgot what I wanted to say—“

You laughed loudly and you paused as you looked at her fondly. “Okay just for you.”

“Oh god, please don’t fall in love with me.”

“Shut up and help me find a good outfit.”

 She searched in your closet for the clothes, throwing some of them on the bed. While opening all the compartment, her fingers met a box nested at the bottom. Her curiosity got the best of her and she pulled it.

When she opened it, a hand closed it quickly. “Don’t.” You spoke a little harshly.

She looked at you surprised. “Letters? Why do you hide letters?”

You looked away and hesitantly you responded. “It’s about the invocation. You know that whole witchcraft stuff my mom used to believe?”

“Yeah! And I freakingly believed her! What is the content of those letters?!”

“It’s nothing, just superstition. Every year, we’re allowed to make a wish to our spiritual guardian. And we have to burn that letter as a part of the offering.”

“You never did that... because?”

“Because I don’t want to meet him or communicate with him. Not anymore.”

“Okay... y’all weirdos. Come on let’s go get that outfit.”

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” You walked down the street, fiddling the side of your skirt.

“No, but who cares. In the worst case, it was just a drunken night, we probably won’t remember the details. In the best case, you met an amazing guy, who had an amazing sense of humor and you both shared amazing sex—“ You put your hand on her mouth before she could continue.

“Okay, that’s enough! I got it I got it.” You chuckled nervously.

 If only you met that guy. Except, you obviously didn’t. But you did hear a conversation about your amazing ex and his amazingly pregnant fiancée. When you tried to move away from the group, you bumped into someone. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You heard as you felt the content of your drink on your shirt. Great. Amazing night.

You sighed and looked upwards. Okay maybe, your friend was right about meeting a cute guy. Meh, too late. “It’s okay, I wasn’t careful either.”

“Look, let me go get a shirt in my room.” Oh, and you bumped into the host.

“It’s okay I wanted to go home anyway.”

“At least, let me walk you to your house. I think we live in the same street?”

“Yep... You don’t have to—“

“Come on, I’ll grab my jacket.”

 Okay, maybe it wasn’t so late.

 And maybe you enjoyed his presence as you both talked on the way. Was it the way his eyes glowed when he smiled? Was it his cute smile? Was it the amount of alcohol in your blood? Or was it this sinking pain in your chest every time you thought how unfair your life was? What made you kiss him in front of your house?

 You felt his hand slide from your cheek to your waist, pressing you against him. You didn’t mind, as long as he could take away that oppressive feeling.

But he couldn’t.

At which point did you invite him inside? You don’t remember. Who cares, as long as he keeps pressing his lips on your neck.

When did you even start to grind against his thigh while he pressed you against the wall of your room? You couldn’t care less, you just wished his touch could be your salvation. Just for the night.

And then you felt his hand sliding below your waist. He sensed your sudden stiffness.

That oppressive feeling on your chest became heavier and heavier.

And stupidly you realized, his simple touch couldn’t salvage you.

He distanced himself before sighing. You couldn’t even meet his eyes. You felt his hand on your cheek as he gently kissed the side of your temple. “It’s okay, we don’t have to.”

You couldn’t help but whispered a pathetic sorry. He asked you if you needed him to stay.

All you could do was shake your head as you clenched your fists.

“Okay” That’s all he said, as he left.

 What a fucking awkward night.

You walked toward your bed and lie on it. You didn’t have any rational thought. Nothing.

And then your sight turned toward your closet. The compartment was still closed.

You didn’t think right.

Let’s blame the alcohol.

You shouldn’t touch that cursed letter.

But you did.

 You got up, you walked towards that closet and you opened it. You took one of the letters between your hand. A strange numbness on the extremities of your fingers begin. You couldn’t read it, Latin words spread the old paper.

You never understood how the letters came to your house. No one knew. Some say it’s just black magic, and we shall never touch it, in fear of corruption.

Others used them for their sins.

 A small whisper asked you.

 Are you a sinner?

 All your instincts screamed, don’t open it. Don’t call him.

And yet, you did.

 You wished to see him again, you wished he could take away that pain, you wished he made you forget about it, about this guy you met, about your ex, about his perfect life, about your mother, about this oppressive feeling, about this loneliness.

 “Take it away.”

You wished for him.

 And just like that, the letter burned.

The room became cooler. And the lights around you blinked. And you felt a shiver.

 “Missed me?”

 His voice was the same. Just like when he left you, or when you left him. Cold and cynical.

 You let a shaking breath. He slowly walked in your direction.

“Tell me, sweetheart. Did you miss me?” He whispered to your ear, and gently he pressed his lips on your neck. You sighed, as his arm encircled your waist and pressed you against his chest.

 Despite the shortness of breath, you whispered pathetically. “Yugyeom—“

 “I waited for you. 3 long years, in this darkness.” His fingers digging into your sweater, you could almost feel the extremities of his nails.

“At first I was worried that I scared you.” A small kiss was pressed against your temple.

“And then resentment came, along with his companion, un-forgiveness, when I realized you were never going to free me again.” He bit your ear.

“So tell me, love, why should I answer your prayer when you gave up on me?”

 Shaking, you tried to control yourself. And boldly, you answered. “You get to consume my sin, isn’t that worthwhile reason?”

 He chuckled. “I shall honor your prayer then.”

 Suddenly, your surroundings disappeared, you just blinked for a second, and the next you were caught in his illusion.

 You could feel the softness of the bed against your back. You could smell the scent of burning candles around you. You could hear the quiet sound of the rain outside, hitting the windows.

But all your attention was on him.

 His hands were on top of your head, his knees on each side of your body. You wouldn’t be able to get away from him. That is if you wanted to.

 He straightened himself, unbuttoned his leather shirt. You let a shaken breath at the sight of it. He chuckled at the sound of your squeal when he pulled you closer to him.

“I like this color. Looks good on you.” He hummed as his finger played with the front zipper of your red sweater. He kissed softly the side of your mouth. “But I prefer you without it.” He pulled it downward, revealing your naked chest. He smirked at the sight, caressing your waist. “Definitely better.”

 His other hand brushed the side of your jaw, his eyes finding yours, and softly his lips found yours.

 Maybe you missed this. His delicacy every time he kissed you as if you could disappear at any moment. As if, his tenderness would bring you back to him, like a magnet. As if, no one could give you this warmth.

 You couldn’t help but bringing him closer to you, gripping the sides of his shirt, while you responded passionately to his kiss.

A small whimper left your lips when you felt his hand leaving your waist, leading toward your breast, his thumb caressing your nipple, before pinching it.

 He straightened himself and moved his chest away from yours.

His hand traveled toward your thighs, before encircling them and bringing you closer. You could feel the shape of his crotch through the clothes.

But he didn’t move, he didn’t do anything. He just stared at you, a little smirk on his lips.

Looking at him, you couldn’t help but pout. You wrapped your legs around his hips and brought your crotch to his.

Licking his lower lip and biting it, he then asked smugly. “What are you going to do? Satisfy yourself?”

You whispered, ungraciously. “Shut up.” But again, you were not the gracious type, and he wasn’t either.

Hence why his hands fallen on either side of your head, he brought himself closer to you and whispered. “Come on, be a good girl, and do it.” His lips brushing yours, you closed your eyes, before lifting your pelvis.

You could feel his smirk against your lips, as you started to grind against his crotch. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and gripped the lower part of his hair. You couldn’t repress the small smirk on your lips when you heard him grunt. He pressed his crotch against yours before detaching himself from you roughly.

He snapped his fingers, and one second later, you were completely naked in front of him. He cockily raised an eyebrow at your blushing cheeks, as you were embarrassed by this sudden appearance.

“Let’s play a game sweetheart.”

You frowned at his words, you knew they were bad news but your curiosity took over.

His face moved closer to you as he cooed. “Let’s see how much you can take it.”

 He unbuckled his belt and took it between his fingers. You gasped as you felt invisible hands holding your wrists and bringing them on top of your head, to the bedhead. Before you could question his intention your wrists were encircled by the belt against it. “Yugyeom—“

“Ah-ah.” He stopped you. “You still have a punishment to take.” You shivered as you felt his finger brushing your neck, following its course toward your chest, and then stopping right before your pelvis.

He looked at you and thought. “Let’s add another thing.”

You nervously anticipated. And before you could even ask him, darkness surrounded you.

The silk scarf around your eyes, your hands tied against the bedhead, you felt deprived of his touch, until his finger skimmed your thigh.  

He chuckled at the sound of your whimpers. Before you could even say anything to rush him, his thumb was pressed against your mouth. “Who said you could talk, love?”

Slowly opening your mouth, you took his thumb against your lips, biting it lightly. Softly, you began to suck it when he pressed it against your tongue.

Suddenly, he pulled it away from your lips. Before you could whine about it, you felt his mouth on your lips, gently kissing you. You responded with more passion as if you didn’t know when he would give you this satisfaction. Biting your lower lip, when you moaned at the touch of his finger on your inner thigh, he deepened the kiss.

You shivered when his fingers brushed your skin, slowly moving toward your core.

He didn’t press his fingers on it, he just skimmed it, chuckling at the sight of your pelvis moving away from the ticklish touch.

He kissed the side of your jaw as his finger was pressed against your core, gathering moisture. You whimpered when you felt pressure on your clit. He pressed his thumb against it, making an encircling gesture. You wrapped his waist with your leg so he could continue.

You cried at the slow invasion of his finger inside, his kiss muffled your moans. He moved slowly, before adding another finger.

He moved his lips toward your neck, biting your skin and leaving purples marks in his path toward your chest. You moaned when he started to take your nipple between his lips and at the same time his fingers quickened their pace. You could feel your core tightening its grip on his fingers, as he kept stimulating it. You cried when you felt pressure on your clit. You squealed out of surprise when you realized it wasn’t his touch.

All you could hear was his snickers. “What you cannot fear what you cannot see, darling.” If it was another time, you’d argue but all you could think was how overwhelmed you were. You opened your mouth to shut his cocky attitude but a gasp left your lips. He quickened his pace and the pressure grew on your clit, you could hear the wet sounds of his fingers pushing and pulling out of your pussy.

Your wrist tried to pull themselves from the grip of his belt, as you cried when you felt your pleasure building up.

Before your orgasm finally hit you, your wrists were liberated, and you quickly encircled your arms against his neck, bringing him closer to you. Waves of pleasure hit your body, the silk depriving your vision disappeared and before you could think, his lips found yours. His fingers left your spastic core. He brought you closer to him, encircling his arms around your waist.

Your body called its shaking against him, as you buried your face in his shoulder, his musky smell engulfed you. He kissed the side of your temple, before looking at you in the eyes.

You took his face between your hands and gently you brushed his cheeks with your thumbs. You murmured. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you here. For not being there when you needed someone.”

 There was no room, no windows, no candles, no walls, no illusion. Just this bed with him and you in this darkness.

Darkness surrounded you, but you weren’t scared. Not anymore.

 His hand moved toward your cheek, removing the falling tear, before kissing your closing eyes.

He took your thighs with his hands, bringing you closer to his crotch. You moved your hand and wrapped it around his girth. He kissed you gently as you felt him inside you.

He slowly moved, letting you get accustomed to his length. You sighed at the building pleasure, before pushing him on the back so you could ride him. And softly, you began to grind against him. He wrapped his hands on your hips, throwing his head backward, feeling your warmth surrounding his cock.

His pelvic pressed against your clit, stimulating you. You brought your chest closer to him, so you could kiss his neck. Taking his skin between your lips you left small purple marks on it.

You cried when he moved his pelvic, thrusting his hips. He held your waist so you wouldn’t move, and he started to pound from below. You could feel your legs shaking from the pleasure.

Before you could react, he removed himself from you. He pushed you so your back hit the mattress and he was on top of you. You whine at the sudden emptiness, as he tapped his cock against your clit, teasing you.

He kissed you as he pushed it inside you once again. He slowly thrust before moving faster. Moans were muffled by his kisses. He started to pound while his hand reached your clit, stimulating it.

You whimpered at the pressure of his fingers, you wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped him even tighter.

Your breathing got faster and difficult as this overwhelming pleasure hit your body. And before you could even think right, your vision lightened, your back arched. Your hand gripped the side of your pillow as he continued to thrust inside you, seeking his pleasure and overwhelming yours. His thrusting became erratic. You brought him closer to you, kissing the shell of his ear, engulfing him with your intoxicating scent. You could hear his soft moans when he started to come inside you.

You caressed his hair as you both tried to calm your breathing.

He pulled himself away from you.

His gaze meeting yours, you began to feel nervous and vulnerable in this state. You were scared of the possible rejection, but you couldn’t help but touch his cheek with your hand.

Slowly, as if you could disappear if he moved harshly, he kissed your palm. He laid at your side, before pressing you against his chest. Leaving a soft kiss on the side of your temple he whispered. “Don’t leave.”

You kissed his neck before answering him. “I won’t. Not anymore.”

You were not scared of your feelings. You were not afraid of being in love with a demon.

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama (Part 1)

Hux and Keith are two older lamias in a lamia shop, friends throughout time. Both have come to assume and accept never being adopted, but that might change when Keith’s soulbond walks in with cookies and a set of dice.

Random bursts of inspiration are random and fickle. Why can’t it be this easy to write my freaking book? XD Anyways, the lamia species used belong to @vex-bittys . No idea how canonical this is either so yeah.

No romance, some swearing, some discussion of Dungeons and Dragons, fully sapient beings being up for adoption and characters being different levels of comfortable with this idea, and some discussion of biology and being bred for temperment (this is just part 1 though so it’s not like all of these things are on full blast yet.).

NEXT >

Hux, a full sized Coral, sighed loudly as the bell up front rang for what felt like the twenty millionth time that day. But that’s just life in the Lamia Adoption center: Caring Coils. Bitties showing off to potential buyers in the window while the bigger snakes stayed further back. Bitties tend to be more popular among the populace, being easier to house and more appealing to those looking for a cute little pet companion. Some people got scared by the bigger types – it’s harder to think of them as pets when they could look you in the eye and strangle you after all. Not that most lamias would; some are just bred to be too kind to do that, some too weak, and most just want someone to come scoop them up…

And most are kids. At least, most that had any chance of getting out. Not Hux, he’d been here all his life. Sure, he’s an adult and can probably leave, but then what? He’d be alone, and it’s not like he has the credentials needed to get a job. Nah, he’d rather stay here with the other oldies (never mind that he wasn’t really any older than most of the people who came here to adopt, never mind that he was younger than quite a few looking to adopt, he was old) and his stash of Things hidden in the vent that never works.

           All this self-reflection is getting depressing. Maybe he should steal one of the workers’ phones again and watch people be stupid on YouTube. That’s always a laugh and a half! But none of his usual victims seem to be working right now – the victims being the few who didn’t keep their phones on them. So looks like socializing it is then.

           “Hey Keith. Whatcha up to back here?” says Hux as he slithers over to the old box Keith had long since claimed as his. It had gotten pretty beat up over the years, but if you squint, you can still make out that it was once colored to look like a castle.

           Keith doesn’t respond.

           Hux sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes and unceremoniously dumping himself into the box like a big fat noodle. Keith hisses loudly as black and orange coils curl and tighten around Hux, but then Keith seems to realize what’s going on, releasing him. “Why.” Keith says in a slightly amused deadpan as he pauses the cell phone (given for “good behavior” and totally not because everyone was hoping he’d randomly find his soulmate on the internet, barf) and takes his big, bulky headphones off.

           “I’m bored.”

           “So you decided to get yourself strangled?”

           “Eh, you don’t bite.”

           Keith chuckled, shaking his head. “Crazy. Crazy crazy.”

           “You love me.”

           “Yeah I do,” Keith said, then shoved Hux out of his box before slithering out and draping himself on a fake-tree limb. “Sooooo… If you’re so bored, have you leveled up Hrothgar yet?”

           “Why should I? He can already kick the rest of the party’s tails and twist ‘em into pretzels,” Hux said. Hrothgar was his DnD character, a half-orc barbarian who liked to smash heads, get girls, and drink ale. Keith had taken an interest in DM’ing when he hit his teens, and, well, why not? Not like they had much better to do.

           “Most of ‘em ain’t murder hobos,” Keith said, rolling his eyes and maneuvering himself around so he was staring at the ceiling, sticking his headphones half-on. His finger moved to a timed rhythm; he was listening to the same part of the same song on repeat. Again. He’d had headphones most of his life if only so no one else had to listen to the same 15 seconds of a song for twenty minutes in a row. (And people wondered why the weirdo never got adopted).

           “Yeah, well, look who they come crying to when they get ambushed in the night. It ain’t Sir Glitterass,” Hux said.

           Keith chuckled, “He’ll murder you if he hears you call him that.”

           “Let him try! My AC is 20!”

           Keith gives a long suffering sigh, putting a hand over his face, “I don’t know why I let you use point buy. I should’ve known.”

           “Hey, 3 Charisma is a valid build.”

           “And three Intelligence… and Wisdom… Actually I might have to check whether it’s at three or four that you no longer count as sentient.”

           “Don’t have to be sentient to smash heads.”

           Keith shook his head, leaning down to flick Hux in the forehead. “Incorrigable.”  

           “I’m a stinky bastard. We all know it. But you looooooove me.”

           “Bros before Hoes.”

           “Forever dude.”

           So yeah… another normal day at Caring Coils…

           Until some random chick walked into the back with a player’s guide in hand and said, “Is this where the DnD meet is? I brought books, three sets of dice, and made no bake cookies.”

[cherripeach]

Chapter 4

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it. 

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it.Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Prologue 8-10: hurricane katrina more like hurricane tortilla

Chapter Summary: Everyone in this school needs their hearing checked.

Warning:  Curse words, jokes about death, slight violence, fire,

Words: 4.3k

Relationships: developing but future twstxreader

While you normally say “Sleep is for the weak,” this is not what you meant. And honestly you want to be weak compared to the literal 7 minutes of sleep you got. Everything felt off, and it wasn’t like your regular sleep schedule was great anyway.  All you did the entire night was make up scenarios in your head and contemplate both life and exploring the campus more. However, by the time you decided to go find the tallest tower (just to see it dude), all three ghosts were floating above you close to your ceiling. 

You whispered as to not wake up the sleeping cat that needs to stop taking up the bed, “Yo, not cool dude.”

The ghosts just winked at you and proceeded to try and scare the cat out of his slumber by reminding him about cleaning the school, but Grim seemed more like a teenager than you when he responded with a wish of “five more minutes.” 

The ghosts did not find this at all amusing, so they continued and even tried to make a morbid joke:

“Laze about too long and you’ll never wake up!” The smaller one started the joke. 

“Just like us!” And the largest one ended it.

The ghost's appearance frightened the cat causing the little demon to spring from under the covers and frantically run around the room basically accomplishing nothing. The ghosts, however, did not find this appealing and turned to you.

The tallest one spoke to you, “Are you all going to be living here? You’re gonna get pranked.”

Nodding your head, you agreed to the wonderful idea, but with a twist, “See dude I know you wanna prank us, but I would love to help all of you prank others.” You paused for a second and put your hand on your chin. “I’ve never had ghost friends and I really wanna know what you guys can do..” 

Grim was the exact opposite and continued to scream at the ghosts, but you just nodded your head at your brilliant idea and thought of all of your plans that you could get away with ghost friends. 

Right at this moment, the oh so gracious headmaster appeared out of thin air and greeted you, “Good morning, you two. Did you sleep well?”

Grim apparently did not, which peeved you off because you were the one up all night, so you just responded with, “Yeah the best sleep I’ve had since I was conceived…”

You knew the headmaster would not understand sarcasm, but honestly why is he even in your room in the early morning without knocking? The world will never know. And with a small world from him you zoned him out. At least until he mentioned cleaning the Main Street of the Campus. Once he stopped his speech his eyes flew to yours to wait for an answer.

“Sure, headmaster, but what am I supposed to use and where is this “Main Street”??” He never explained anything to you. I mean even if you listen when you try, the man tells you nothing. 

Here he goes trying to not explain anything to you, “I'm counting on you. You have permission to have lunch in the school cafeteria. Take care of your work enthusiastically.” He yeeted out of here just like your world did to you. 

“Ughhh, at least we get lunch…” You sighed into the unknown hoping someone would save you from this.  

“Tsk... No way I'm doing any cleaning. I wanna go to class, and bang! Boom boom boom! Use a bunch of awesome magic.” There was no use speaking to either of the two children of the school. 

“Dude, please, let’s just go and get this over with. Got it?” The cat just muttered in response to your reasoning, and you took that as a sign that he listened and that was the best you were ever gonna get from him. 

You got yourself together and decided that since nothing was gonna go your way, why act like it was. Your ideal belief made you not even look at yourself in a mirror, but just pull up the hood you had on from yesterday and grab some of the cleaning supplies that you found in the dorm. 

You and Grim headed out, and you waved a goodbye at the ghosts and blew a kiss at them because it is for the homies. 

Grim did end up abandoning you for a while to go find some “great tuna” for him to snack on. 

While walking out of the dorm and into the normal path of the school you encountered some odd people, and you actually considered yourself to be odd so these people were like the weirdest of the weirdos. One was a really jacked up on steroids furry, another was this pair of twins who everyone was avoiding and had weird anime twin hair which was the same hairstyle but parted differently or something, and you even saw an adorable boy, which is not considered weird, but he looked incredibly peeved at the rocks that he was kicking. Their outfits were all similar, but you did notice that there was a slight color difference between all the different people. 

Since life is not going your way and probably never will, you decided that the next person who you saw that you did not already see before you would ask directions from. The one problem with that is that the dude had a very sus vibe. He had on like a hat that was from like the 1800’s, but he did not have any other terrible features. He was rather breathtaking if you thought about it, but his eyes moved all around the crowd walking to get somewhere, and that gave you enough stalker vibes. His blonde hair in the bob was very cute, and maybe a little bit attractive, but his fashion sense was eccentric. Honestly, he was just eccentric. However, weighing your options, he is mostly approachable, and besides who isn't afraid of everyone they meet. 

You strided up to the man with as much confidence as a supermodel has. The male’s eyes swiftly darted to your form once you changed directions just making everything more awkward. Confusion spread through his face, but you kept on walking and stumbling and even lifted your hand for a small wave to him. The male did observe you just like you did him and found that you would not be a threat at least not that much and allowed your approach. 

Once you were within a distance where both of you could hear one another, he spoke, “Well, well, well, is there anyway I can help you, canard?” The man gently smiled at you, and damn you were hooked, but the man totally watched you stumble around wondering who to turn to, so this was just a cute situation. 

“Um, you see, I don’t know where the main street is..Could you help me?”  This man was actually making you nervous, but you put it all to how charming he was. 

“Oui, who would I be to not help un petit canard.” His hand went to his chest, and while with the headmaster and most of the others on this campus would piss you off if they did it, the male in front of you actually made you feel a little reassured. 

Your mind paused for a second to finally realize, ‘It’s been five minutes and I already have a slight crush… wow.’ 

The male waved his hand to motion for you to follow him as his grin just grew and he turned around, and you in your confused glory stumbled after him. He slowed his footsteps to allow you to both match him and keep up with him in the long run, and he began to make conversation with you.

“You must be the magicless student, oui?” As gentle as he looked when he lightly smiled and closed his eyes, he also had an air of danger floating around him. You wanted to trust him but also didn’t. 

“Yeah, dude...don’t know why I’m here either, and I can’t leave. Nothing seems to be going my way.” You shook your head and sighed deeply, but you were just happy that someone would listen.

“Poor petit canard, it would be my honor to help you with any of your problems,” he’s really good. He’s probably the best person you have met since the sun because he actually seems a little nice. 

“Thanks a lot. With all of the assholes and weirdos here, I didn’t exactly expect someone who would care about me.” You placed your gaze on the ground where you watched your feet and his walk while your lips turned up slightly, but you did think that this guy was weird enough for making you feel embarrassed and his whole odd vibe.

“It is no problem, petit canard, but I would recommend giving a chance to the people here,” he halted his speech and steps for a second just to land in front of you and to turn around causing his gaze to meet yours while you slowly looked up at him, “No one is like they seem.” His eyes did those weird anime think where a light shines over them for a second. 

“What?” Your mouth gaped open in visible shock at the man before you. 

At least until he twisted back around with the wind giving his jacket a flutter, “We have arrived, canard. Do have a nice day, oui?”  With a bow of his hat, the blonde hair man was out. 

“You know what, that is probably gonna be the most normal person I will meet at this school,” you thought for a second recognizing that you forgot about the dude from last night, “either him or the silver haired sleeping beauty.” You chuckled to yourself. 

You began to scan your surroundings which consisted of seven different statues and a long path leading up to the school one way and out the gate another. Many trees also decorated the area outside the path. 

And from this you determined that you would need the broom and washcloth you brought, but a rake would be appreciated. 

You groaned out to announce your displeasure and got started on cleaning up the place, and that is when Grim showed up to begin complaining that he had to pay for the tuna and that no one would give it to him for free. He even said that someone even threatened to kick him out of the school, but that did not surprise you. You just threw a cloth at him and told him to go scrub the statues.

He did his job for a good ten minutes without mouthing off at any of the students walking on the street getting ready to start school, but he did turn to you while washing the statue of the Queen of Hearts from the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland. 

“Hey, servant,” the cat peered up at you with big doe eyes, “What’s with all these statues? All seven of them look pretty scary,” the cat gazed up at the statue he was cleaning again, “This granny looks especially snobby.”

You just giggled at his statement, but a male with red orange hair and a red heart on his face came up to you too, and he was puzzled, “You don’t know about the Queen of Hearts?”

Grim gawked back at the male, “Queen of Hearts? Is she important?” 

“Grim, no one is important unless someone makes them important, so logically speaking no.” You just had to cut in with an idea about society that you just thought about.

The male with the heart on his cheek had something to say and started going on and on about how amazing she was as a queen. You just ignored him and went to work because you have heard of her and all that she was before, but Grim was captivated and started basically worshiping the words that came out of the male’s mouth. Grim even added in comments about the Queen here and there, but then Grim asked, “By the way, who are you?” and that caught your attention from cleaning. 

“I’m Ace, a fresh-faced first year. Nice to meetcha~” Ace winked at the two of you.

But you had to open your mouth, “Who calls themselves a fresh-faced first year. That’s basically saying you're fresh meat.” You raised an eyebrow while asserting your belief. 

However, neither of the boys listened to you. 

“I’m Grim, a genius who’ll become the greatest magician.” Grim just had to introduce himself; he even introduced you and called you both a dimwit and a servant which did not surprise you. 

Ace turned to you and in your eyes tried to compliment you, “You’ve got an odd sounding name.” 

“Thanks I guess, dude, but why are you here?” He had to be leaving for class soon, but he was just sticking to you two. His introduction confused you about his personality because after all the people you have met only three of them had been slightly nice and even then, all of them were odd. This guy had to be hiding something, and you think it might be something to do about his personality. 

“What are you talking about? I’m just here to help you two. I don’t mean to cause any trouble.” Ace responded.

‘So he wanted to cause trouble,’ was your immediate reaction. 

Ace then turned back to Grim who started a conversation about Scar from Lion King. All that was in your head was “Be Prepared” the villain song in the movie while you watched the two discuss who Scar was and what happened in the movie. But Ace never mentions his death or how he betrayed those who helped him. From your understanding, there was a serious misconception about villains at this school. Now that you thought about it they must clearly respect and reverence them because they had statues of some of the worst Disney villains. And throughout your debate, those two started to talk about Ursula from The Little Mermaid, but Ace referred to her as “The Sea Witch.” Nothing was similar really from the interpretations of the story in your world or this other world’s interpretations. 

While you will admit that some of the villains were not as bad as they could have been and that they were not total villains because most times the main characters and heroes of the stories were total pretentious assholes who knew nothing of ruling a kingdom or anything, romanticizing villains is a little wrong. Moana, though, an absolute queen. Cinderella also deserved better. 

The two visited every statue from Jafar from Aladdin to the ‘Evil Queen’ which they called the ‘Beautiful Queen’ from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to Hades from Hercules but the entire storyline was off because in greek mythology Hades wasn’t even the villain behind the story but whatever. The two finally gathered their stuff next to Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, so you followed the two along because this was the last one and you needed to observe Ace, “the fresh meat,” more. 

Grim asked the question about the statue, “And the last one, with the horns?” 

Ace went on about her too, “That is the Witch of Thorns from the Magic Mountains. Noble and elegant, even within the Seven, she is top class in magic and curses! She can summon lightning and storms, cover an entire country in thorns, her magic is on a whole other level. There was even a time she transformed into a huge dragon!” You just nodded along at his speech. 

Grim even contributed again, “Ooh! A dragon! All monsters look up to them!” Grim looked so overjoyed for having someone to tell him about the villains; he’s just your idiotic cat sibling. 

“They’re all so cool!”  There had to be a moment where Ace showed his true self but he hasn’t done it, “Unlike a certain raccoon.” And there it is!!

Grim backed up in alarm from the kid and switched his gaze quickly to you in panic. He was an incredibly trusting cat which made you feel pretty bad for him.

Ace ignored the communication between you and Grim and like a proper villain presented his monologue to you two, “Pfft... Ahaha! I can't bear it anymore! Ahahahaha! Aren't you the guys who went crazy at the entrance ceremony? You were summoned by the Dark Mirror even though you can't use magic, and you, a monster, weren't called but still trespassed. Yeahhh, it took everything I had not to lose it at the ceremony.” His laugh sounded like a fart trying to come out but was halted by the butt cheek and the fabric of the pants so really not cute. 

Grim shifted his attention back to “fresh meat” and gawked at him, “Whaaa!? You're a rude one!”

Since you wanted to find more about this kid before you beat him up, you gave him a second to explain himself.

“And now you aren't allowed in and got regulated to be a janitor? Haha, how lame.” Is this kid kidding? Grim even agrees with you after his noises of distress and disagreement with the kid, but the kid kept going, “On top of that, you don't even know about the Great Seven. How ignorant can you be? As I recommend you go back to kindergarten before coming to Night Raven College.”

You just shook your head at the boy ready to step in once he finished his little speech.

“I thought I'd just mess with you a bit, but you really blew my expectations away. Unlike you two, I actually have classes to attend. Keep this school squeaky clean, you two~” The boy whistled at you two and waved at you and walked away.

At least he tried to before his collar was in your hands and your eyes were right in front of yours. 

“Y’know I’ll give you some praise because you are the most pretentious fuck I have met at this school,” You let go of his collar and knocked his feet a little to make sure he would fall to the ground, “ And what are you like five. All of your jabs at us are literally terrible, but that’s not even the worst of it. You must be so bored of your life or have such a small dick that making fun of people supposedly weaker than you, just gets you off. I never get people like you who belittle and tease others. Is it fun kid, huh, to make jokes to basically another kid when you just know how they are gonna react? ”

Ace sat on the ground stunned by your comments acting like a helpless child who just got yelled at with his red flushed cheeks and his balled up hands by his side. At that point, you realized that there was a crowd gathering around your little spat, and Ace’s cheeks and embarrassment was probably due to getting yelled at by the magicless student who became the janitor. 

However, Grim did not process that you were already lecturing the kid before he blew flames at the two of you.

“Are you kidding me GriM? I’m right here!” Normally fight or flight would respond to his action, but yours was not working causing you to stay in the same spot while some of the flames got closer. 

The kid was running away screaming stuff like “Nope not today” and “why,” but after he stood all the way up and walked a couple footsteps his collar was in your hand again. 

“Not happening, pipsqueak. You’re gonna pay for your actions.” You pulled him around to make sure he could hear you and see the mess of people running around behind you and the cat still trying to blow fire at the two of you.

Grim even started yelling, only making the flames worse and more rowdy, “It's what you get for making fun of me! I'm gonna light up that fire-head of yours!” Grim even smirked to make his point and pointed at the boy still in your hold.

This immature boy was not able to read the atmosphere and stood up to the fire breathing cat, “Fire-head, huh?Heeeeee. You've really got guts picking a fight with me. You too. I'll turn you into a puffy, little toy-poodle!” 

You slapped him on the back of the head for that causing his head to go forward and his hand to grab where you slapped. But Grim kept on shooting fire.

At least until Ace managed to get out of your hold by twisting and wiggling so much. Once he left he ran over to join in Grim and have a fight, and it just seemed like these past couple of days nothing would go your way. 

Ace took out the pen thing you saw yesterday and pointed in directly with a light coming out of it at Grim causing wind to go everywhere blowing the fire. More people also began to crowd around the two and murmurs and gossip broke out everywhere, but all you could pay attention to was stopping them. 

That didn't work out. 

The two kept on spitting insults at each other and magic, and once you got close you grabbed Ace by the ear pulling on it causing him to slightly turn from the fight. You tried to lecture Ace in that moment to tell him to stop, but Ace was far too focused on the cat in front of him and ended up grabbing your wrist, throwing it off his ear, and then shoving you right on your hands and butt into the cement where some flames were. 

All in all basically getting roasted alive was a solid 3/10, but you are sure some people got pictures and videos of it. Since you did get out of those flames in a split second and ‘Stop, Drop, and Roll’ which surprisingly worked, all you ended up with is some burns on the palm of your hands and the back of your calves. And since everything was pissing you off today you also found out that the cult-like cloak you were wearing is fireproof.

Grim got more enraged the more the fight went on and finally had enough, “Eat that!” 

A great amount of flames appeared darted toward Ace, but Ace had other plans, “And I just change my trajectory with the wind like… that!” The wind sent the flames hurtling to the statue of the Queen of Hearts causing the statue to be engulfed into flames.

And your only thought was, ‘This school needs to offer a physics class even a basic math class if all these magicians are as bad at predicting as this one.’

The two children were panicking and running in circles with their stupid tails between their legs screaming at each other and blaming each other. You just wanted to get this over with because you knew that you would be in trouble even though you can’t control anyone or threaten anyone because you are magicless. Grim is also a wild cat, and cats never listen. 

Right as Ace tried to reason with Grim the headmaster showed up, but that only caused two to overreact in fear of him and run away from him and the problem both of them caused. 

Neither escaped of course because they both got whipped which made you think what were the laws regarding teachers and children because you know that whips mostly were not allowed at school and not to be used on children. 

Nevermind that because the lovely headmaster with his gorgeous top hap and magnificent cape started another lecture, “This is my Lash of Love! It'll be another hundred years before you can outrun me!I told you just yesterday to 'not cause any trouble', didn't I?Then you go and char the statues of the Great Seven!I very much would like to see you expelled.” 

You could not wait to be let out and with a blank voice you let out, “Honestly, please let me out. I’ll take the streets over this.” 

No one heard you or at least no one seemed to. 

“Assholes,'' you grit your teeth ready to bear with another problem the headmaster gave you. 

Ace did not agree with you and screeched out, “Wait! Not that!” He whined like the baby he is. 

The headmaster could only make your day worse by turning to you who by the way is still covered in burns and had a look of pure defeat on your face and address, “And you, this is not how you supervise Grim.”

You just exhaled and promised to yourself that while getting expelled and kicked out of this school sounded great, living on the streets did not (Even if it did for the tiniest second there), so you nodded and smiled as best as your strained face from anger could take. 

The headmaster thought that was enough and turned to Ace asking, “My goodness.. You, what's your grade and name?”

Ace actually replied, most likely in fear, “Ace Trappola, first year.”

The gracious headmaster was pleased, “Then, Trappola, Grim, and you as punishment, I order the three of you to wash 100 window around campus!” He bounced his head probably affirming to himself that he chose the proper punishment after he pointed at you. 

Grim did not agree, “Nyaaa!? It's all cause this joker was making fun of us!”

Ace also did not, “Eeeh!? Me too?”

You silently sympathized with the headmaster for having to deal with so many children because he could only respond undoubtedly, “Most definitely! After school, meet in the cafeteria. Understood?” 

The two children groaned in disapproval but went with it.

And Grim stated something that you couldn't agree more with,“Nothing but misery since yesterday!!”

Your only response to the entire situation was to fall onto the cement again and try not to cry because a bad bitch doesn’t. 

~~~~~

Hahaha...I can't with myself. I tried to make this short, but it's the longest one so far. Thank you so much for reading everything, and I hope you have a great day!

[superman86to99]

Superman #84 (December 1993)

Superman takes a short Paris vacation! Like, one day short. What's the worst that could happen?

Oh, man.

So, for the past few issues, we've been hearing about children being abducted in Metropolis. Now we see that they're being kept inside a giant toy house by some creepy bald man in Quasimodo clothes who seems to be obsessed with toys -- a "Man of Toys," if you will. Side note: no wonder the children haven't been found... all the articles about them are just gibberish! (See clip below.)

The kidnapper thinks that these kids' parents don't deserve them, and that they're much better off here, in an underground hideout with a man who threatens to starve them if they don't play with him. (And I do mean literally play, with action figures and stuff.) Meanwhile, as these children cry for help, Superman is having the time of his life. While helping move a stranded ship with some huge-ass chains, Superman spots a sunken galleon with a treasure chest inside and fantasizes about keeping the booty...

...before turning it over to the authorities anyway, the big boy scout. Then, he wakes up Lois at 6 AM and tells her they should go to Paris right now, which usually means your significant other is having a mental breakdown, but in this case they can actually do it. And so, after deciding that he deserves to use his powers for fun every once in a while, Superman and Lois drop everything and fly to France with super-speed for the rest of the day/issue.

Anyway: back to the child abduction! Cat Grant and her son Adam attend a Halloween party at Adam's school, but there's a disturbed weirdo in a hideous costume lurking among the crowd. Yes, I'm talking about Jimmy Olsen in his Turtle Boy suit.

Shortly after that, a guy in a dinosaur costume (see, all the creeps are dressed as reptiles) lures Adam out of the party with the promise of "superb video games." What child could resist that? Of course, that turns out to be the kidnapper and Adam ends up in his hideout along with the rest of the missing children and, worst of all, not a single "Lextendo" console.

The kidnapper gets angry at Adam when he refers to the toys at the hideout as "old-fashioned junk" (he was REALLY looking forward to those video games), and even angrier when Adam tries to free the other kids. Adam is brave and puts up a good fight, but...

And those were Adam Morgan's final words. "Uh-oh."

Next, we have a pretty harrowing scene of Detective Turpin letting Cat know Adam’s body was found, and Jimmy and Perry White taking her to the morgue to identify the body (most people probably wouldn't bring their former boss to something like that, but Perry sadly knows more than most about losing a kid). As for Lois and Clark, they were gone so long that the Daily Planet had time to print a headline about the murders. The issue ends when the lovebirds walk into the office smiling like two people who just spent the night fooling around in Paris... only to feel like jackasses when they find out what happened.

To be continued!

Character-Watch:

And that's it for little Adam Morgan who, unlike the also tragically diseased Jerry White, didn't even get any post-death appearances. Adam went from a little kid scared of Superman, to a huge brat, to a character who was approaching likeability as of last week. That's why I hate it when DC kills off young characters like Adam or Liam Harper: in long-form storytelling, children represent potential. Look at how much Wally West or Dick Grayson evolved over the years compared to their mentors! Sure, there's a huge probability that Adam would have ended up disappearing from comics for 25 years anyway, but who knows, maybe we'd now know him as Teen Gangbuster or something. GangbusTEEN.

This issue also represents a turning point for the kidnapper, who is never named or seen clearly in the story itself but I don't think I'm shocking anyone by spoiling the fact that he's Toyman (it's in the cover, for one thing). In his last two appearances before this storyline, Toyman helped Superman save some kids from Sleez and looked genuinely sad to learn about Superman's death, so this is a pretty dramatic change for the character. We'll find out why he went from big softy to child killer in Superman #85 (but don't get your hopes up).

Plotline-Watch:

The most disturbing part of the issue, all things considered, is still the part where Toyman climbs into a giant crib and hugs a huge stuffed bunny. Look at serial killer Tommy Pickles here:

Don Sparrow says:  “Even with the upgrade, Toyman is still just a man in a suit, a common complaint about Superman’s rogues gallery.” Funny you should say that, because I JUST shared an old Wizard interview in our Twitter in which Dan Jurgens talks about how Doomsday came out of his frustration with the fact that most Superman villains are dudes in suits (plus other interesting tidbits from the era, like how it was actually Roger Stern’s idea to bring back Hank Henshaw, so check out that link!).

Don again: “The entire Superman storyline of this issue feels like filler. Diving for buried treasure and soaring off to Paris -- it all feels like wasted time next to the Adam storyline.” I have a theory that the entire ship sequence is there as an excuse to put Superman in those big chains and make that Spawn joke (which I didn’t get until now, since I’ve always read this issue in Spanish).

Superman says that pulling that big ship was "a little easier than expected" -- that's either another hint that there's something going on with Superman's powers since he came back, or a subtle dig at the state of American ship manufacturing.

Another adorable "window tap" scene for the books, and this is the sexiest one so far. Is it me or has Jurgens started copying more than just Teri Hatcher's hairdo from Lois & Clark? (For anyone who thinks Lois has gotten implants, I refer you to this clip.)

While in Paris, Lois asks Clark if he's ever wondered what would happen if his rocket had landed in other countries. Don: “Clark’s conversation with Lois sounds like a bunch of concepts for Elseworlds stories. We eventually would see a Russian Superman, and a British Superman, but not yet the French Superman. (Hire us, DC!)” Yep, got my French Superman pitch ready, Jim Lee. Or just let us do Russian Superman again, since Red Son wasn’t even the first time you published that idea.

Don once more: “Another thing that makes no sense about the ‘new’ Toyman is his resentment of technological toys—when in previous appearances he himself had deadly high-tech toys to vex Superman over the years.” I especially resent his hatred of video game consoles. Incidentally, I wonder what types of games are available for Adam’s beloved Lextendo. Star Lex 64? Mega Man Lex? Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles & Lex?

No one is more upset at Lois and Clark for going AWOL than Whit. NO ONE. He's so furious that his usually grey mustache turned black.

Patreon-Watch:

As always, shout out to our patrons, Aaron, Murray Qualie, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Samuel Doran, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush and Raphael Fischer! Last month’s exclusive Patreon article was about the recently unearthed sequel to Superman 64 for the PlayStation, featuring Metallo, Parasite, and Lois looking even hotter than in this issue:

Hot damn. Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99!

And believe it or not, Don Sparrow has even more to say about this issue. Read his section after the jump:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):

I should start off my section with a big caveat:  I flat out hate this issue. There were several weird decisions made in the post-Death-and-Return era (most of them along the same lines of making the Superman titles more grim-and-gritty), and this story was one of the worst of them.  My theory is that, despite the praise and record-breaking sales of the Death and Return storyline, the Superman creative team felt pressure to have more extreme storylines, perhaps in response to the wildly successful Image books coming out at the time.  Between this story, and the upcoming “Spilled Blood” storyline, the Super books take a hard—but temporary--turn into more violent and upsetting storytelling—even though these stories are by the same writers as the previous few years. While death has always been a part of comics, and Superman comics was no exception, there is a jarring glibness and unfeeling toward the way violence is handled in these pages that is quite different from the stories that preceded it.  It’s made all the more jarring by the fact that well-established personalities suddenly veer wildly out of character, Toyman chief among them.  

We start with the cover, and while it is technically well-drawn (by the familiar team of Jurgens and Breeding) it’s also a very upsetting visual.  I think they should have gone with the pieta type pose with Adam and Superman, OR the scary badass bowie-knife Toyman (who apparently has a Cheshire cat smile now) but not both.  But the cover is a good hint at the tonal dissonance of the comic within.

We open with a splash of the now-extreme 90s looking Toyman, with his serial killer shaved head and spooky cloak, ignoring the pleas of hungry kids he has locked up in a tiny jail cell for days at a time (if that sentence doesn’t ring alarm bells for how wrong this is for a Superman story, I don’t know what will). For much of the issue Toyman’s eyes are obscured by glare on his lenses, further de-humanizing a character who was once one of Superman’s more empathetic bad guys.

We cut to Superman tugboating a huge tanker with giant chains and it’s a cool visual (one repeated in the Batman V Superman film).  It feels especially out of place to focus on, given how upsetting this issue is otherwise, but throughout the whole comic, Lois is drawn smoking hot, especially on the two page spread on pages 9-10.

The scenes depicting the actual murder, while still wildly out of place in a Superman comic, are well done, and give a real sense of darkness and menace, which I suppose is the intent.  Perhaps my least favourite visual is the Big Bird stuffie, silently bearing witness to what’s about to occur.

The edges of the panels on get more slashy and off-kilter (to me, looking very much like the layouts more typically seen in Image comics of the day) and I suppose I appreciate the restraint of how little Dan Jurgens shows of the death of a child, showing only a bloody slash on a black background.  This is still a pretty baroque image for a Superman comic, but certainly less violent than it could be, given what is happening.

Cat Grant’s silent horror is well staged, and powerful in its way.   Lastly, Clark Kent bending in sorrow and regret is a powerful image.

While this issue is handled marginally better, and more maturely than other comics on the shelf at this time, I still believe it is one of the biggest mistakes of the era.  Giving a long-established character an unceremonious death for shock value is gross on its own, but making it a child definitely crosses a line for me.  Making it worse is that, while the Toyman is a criminal and a killer, he has shown in past issues (a similar kidnapping storyline involving Sleez) that he genuinely cares for the well-being of children.  So for a long-time reader, this also felt like a betrayal of a long-established, fully developed character.   Adding to the ugliness of this is that Adam dies heroically, trying to free the children who have been caged, unfed, for days, but even in that regard, he fails.  The headline at the end of the issue confirms all the children are dead.  Adam’s death did not buy the other kids enough time to get away. It was all for nothing. Had Adam died, but the other children lived, maybe this issue wouldn’t leave quite as bad a taste. [Max: It’s weird because it’s all told in a way where it’s told in a way where it would make sense, narratively and within the story universe, that the other kids survived, but then it’s almost casually revealed that nope, they died too. A scene of one of the kids relaying Adam’s heroism to Cat in a future issue would have gone a long way.]

Superman doesn’t come off well in these pages, either.  It’s honestly the type of story they should just stay away from, because the more you think about all the calamity that is going on around the clock, the less defensible the whole Clark Kent persona becomes. Superman carving out time to romance his fiancée directly led to the preventable deaths of innocent children—how do you come back from that?

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I’m always looking for hints that perhaps Jimmy or Perry know Superman’s secret identity deep down, and Jimmy’s anger at Lois and Clark on their return to the Daily Planet offices would seem to give that theory some credence, as he’s as angry at them as if he knew Clark really were Superman.  Either that, or he’s ticked that it fell to him, and none of them to escort Cat into the morgue. [Max: Has this issue finally converted you to the “Jimmy is terrible” side now, Don?]

I don’t think I’m the only one who disliked the new Toyman—SPOILERS BE HERE: years later, in Action Comics #865, Geoff Johns retconned this whole story, reverting Schott into the criminal who over-relates to kids, rather than the child-killer of this story.  Apparently the infantile Schott, who speaks to “Mother” a la Norman Bates, is a robot so lifelike it fools even Superman, and the “Mother” he’s constantly replying to was the real Winslow Schott trying to recall the malfunctioning robot. [Max: That’s one Geoff Johns retcon I really didn’t mind, even if it felt kind of derivative of his similar “all the Brainiacs are robots made by the real Brainiac” reveal.]