#and angsty; full of lots and lots of tough conversations

[cas-backwards-tie]

Chapter Four: Desolate Days

Heiress of Gotham

Bruce Wayne x Daughter!Reader

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Summary: It’s time. The funeral has finally come around. While the expected have shown up, will the unexpected lead to loose threads in your life? It'll certainly raise questions, that's for sure.

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: Funeral, Depression, Threats, Crying, Angst,

Mentions of: Death, Bodies, Trauma,

A/N: While this chapter is angsty, and the next one contains some twists and turns, I promise it'll actually start to become more fun around chapter six once the reader gets settled into her new life!

It wasn't easy, not by any means; a week full of setting up a funeral, at fifteen, for your mother... the only real family you've ever had. Sure, there were close family friends in your life, but they weren't a constant presence, not like her. All that flew out the window when you'd been orphaned, and now, who knows what will become of those relationships. You figure, only time will tell.

As for the actual events, tonight is the viewing, followed by a dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant you guys used to love, and tomorrow morning is the burial. While there'd been lots of talk about who would come and what it would mean to them, and you, the conversation never fully came to any certain conclusion.

You don't know and aren't close with your new siblings, and while from a publicity standpoint it makes sense they should come and show their support, your Father is really the only person who knew your Mother. Even then, how well did he truly know her? The question stands. With all this in mind, you know that Bruce is accompanying you tomorrow, and by extension, Alfred too. That much you're clear on.

Money is a tough subject. Isn't it for everyone? While you weren't rich growing up in Bludhaven, you also weren't in the degree of poverty that some are, either. Nevertheless, funerals you quickly learned, cost a lot of money. You'd think it'd be one thing to bury someone in your backyard (if you had one, that is), or even toss them in the dumpster (not that you'd do that), or even set them afloat on the river and nearest ocean (that either), yet, the government wants their money. That's always what it boils down too, doesn't it? Regardless, Bruce had been suspicious when you brought up paying for the funeral. He offered, and while you'd argued for a good half hour, you'd finally compromised with him.

He wants to pay for the funeral, and you can keep the money you--somehow--have for college. Apparently, he expects you to do that now, as well. Not that college was outside of the question before, but... you still have three years to think about it, don't you? All in all, he let you pick out what you thought your mother would like, which, ultimately sort of became what you'd like... right? Besides the preferences in her will, there was still the matter of some sort of plaque or headstone, obsidian or silver... the works. Trying to keep money in mind, you didn't go crazy, but you did let him deal with it while still trying to give her at least something fairly nice.

It all happened so fast, really. Picking out everything, setting things up, and sending out a message so your family friends would know when and where to show up to pay their respects if they wished to do so. Not many people knew about your recent transfer of guardianship, or rather, to who. And while there had apparently been somewhat of a civil kerfuffle with your mother's best friend in an attempt to waive Bruce of his fatherly duties, Bruce apparently decided to claim custody of you. That's what social services naturally thought was the best fit for you.

"You don't have to go in if you don't want," Dick speaks up from behind you.

Standing outside the doors to the funeral home, you know that all too soon the doors will open up for her viewing and you won't be able to escape. Regardless of how many people show up, you'll be met with stories, jokes, emotions, conversation, and things you're just not ready to handle. Staring at the doors, Damian walks past you, soon followed by Tim as they make their way to the door.

"Sure she does. Maybe not now, but sooner or later you have to," Tim offers you with a sympathetic smile, "otherwise you'll never forgive yourself."

"That's just his regret talking," Jason accuses as he straightens the lapels of his black vest and follows the younger boys. "You do what you want, kid." A pat on the back, he too heads inside, leaving you there, Dick still lingering over your shoulder.

"It's your decision," the Detective reminds you with a sympathetic and encouraging smile before pushing open the doors to the funeral parlor.

Standing there in your short black t-shirt dress, the hem whips in the wind as a storm brews in the distance by the Fawcett-Bludhaven border, eventually destined to head your way, closer to the ocean, no doubt. Though you're adorned by a simple black headband, the accessory doesn't keep your hair from hanging around the frame of your face, eyes glued to the fancy sheen of your church shoes: a pair of black mary-janes. 

"Are you second-guessing?" The gruff voice of your Father emanates from your side and you raise your eyes to meet his face. There's a forlorn and distant look in his eyes as he stares ahead at the double doors leading toward the place you know the two of you will be met with a familiar face.

With a subtle nod, he mirrors your action, a clearing of his throat as he straightens his tie. "I can't say I blame you. Though, I can make you an offer," he proposes. As he turns his head, you're met with knowing blue eyes, a hint of what you swear is mischievousness behind them. "If you ever need to bail, why don't we have some sort of code? A code word, what about that?" He expands, the furrowed brows on your face cluing him onto your thoughtful mentality.

"I have to think about it," you respond quietly, eyes roaming the property. While Bristol is an eclectic part of Gotham for sure, this part of town feels somewhat desolate. The nearest and nicest open-plot cemetery to Bludhaven, it was a compromise on everyone's behalf. Not far enough from Bludhaven to feel unlike home and lack a means of public transportation for those in need, and not one of the buildings in the city that are more mausoleum-like, an option you hadn't wanted to consider. She deserved something better. A rumbling of thunder echoes throughout the landscape, the sky growing dark in the distance; eyes brought to the weather, your mind churns. "What about... 'Blizzard'?" It wasn't totally innocuous, yet it wasn't entirely improbable either.

"It'll definitely be interesting to see how we manage to work that into conversation naturally," Bruce jokes, to which you offer him a quiet chuckle, the inkling of a smile working its way onto the corners of your lips.

"Is that okay?" You ask, unsure if he approves.

"Blizzard it is," the Billionaire agrees, stretching out a hand in a semblance of kinship. With a moment of consideration, it doesn't take long for your hand to meet his in conciliation. With a firm shake, you both turn to enter the parlor side by side.

--------

Hand clutching the prized middle-school graduation gift you'd received from your Mother, a golden chain necklace with a teardrop image of La Virgen on it, you subtly run it back and forth along the chain where it rests on your sternum between your collarbones. Despite uncomfortable conversation and questions, you hadn't needed the code word. The attempt to try and visit your Mother before the service was unfruitful, people having shown up earlier than expected, others wanting to set up and you consequently helping like the obedient little girl you often were. Nevertheless, even now with only family members remaining, you still stand at a distance where only her hands propped up on her waist are visible.

Bruce had gotten by through making conversation, trying to get to know you and your acquaintances through their association and knowledge, though their questions often turned on him. Upon the revelation that you're not only now, but always have been a Wayne dawned on them. The natural questions would tend to follow. 'How well did you know her? Were you close to her?' As much as the Playboy would love to admit he didn't know your Mother on the level it would seem most people assumed, he also knew that sort of answer might tarnish any image of your Mother that these people already had in mind. Hence, he tended to use his usual tactics of evasion in a similar manner to any gala he'd attend.

The boys ended up doing recon in some sense, all in their own versions. Damian had intended to simply find a nice corner to sit in and text Jon about the plans for their next hangout and fill him in on the dreadful activities he's been put up to on the behest of his new 'sister'. If he could even call you that. Tim hadn't been filled in on the situation concerning your little expedition with Jason and what the elder had found during that time, so when Dick naturally seemed curious and a little too snoopy for his taste in concern of the event, it was only upon questioning his brother that he found out about the circumstances.

Dick went into this with the hopes of finding out information on your family, on what you all knew, the type of people you were, and what they knew specifically about you and your Mom. That much cash laying around even with the excuse of not trusting banks, in Bludhaven of all places, was ridiculous. Especially for the job he dug around and found out your Mother had. Therefore, he took to subtly interrogating people under the guise of attempting to get to know his new little sister better. 

Jason had intended to go only on the purpose of supporting you, and watching his family in suspect, considering they've all seemed dubious of your Mother and your family's involvement in some sort of criminal activity. While he'd been curious, watching you, talking to you, he's found that there's probably not much further whatever 'secret' your family is hiding goes. Sometimes people do things they need to do to survive, and if he's heard any stories about your Mother this evening, he'd suspect that's it.

Damian eventually caught wind of Grayson's not-so-subtle tactics of questioning people, and decided his evening would be much more fruitful doing exactly what his brother was doing, only in a more professional manner. After all, once he'd rounded the parlor he'd seen his Father doing the same thing in his own fashion, therefore, he can't be mad at them for doing the same when he's the one who's supposed to be setting the example, right?

Oblivious to your new family's motives, you try and work up the courage to say goodbye to her... to her face. Evading the happy images that filter through wild transitions on television's slideshow to the right, you run a thumb over the memorium card you'd taken. Even if they were for everyone else, you still wanted one. Room practically empty, you finally take the leap and close the space between you and the open casket.

Immediately you have to avert your eyes. It's... too painful. Yet, another curious part of you tempts you to take another look. Upon second glance it simply appears as if she's sleeping. Peacefully. There's no lacerations or marks, no sign of any sort of ill-wrought event, and yet, you know the wiser. "I hate this," you whisper through your teeth, jaw clenching in an attempt to keep your tears at bay. "It's not fair. I don't know why... why it had to be you." With a sniffle and a heavy sigh that bobs your shoulders, you reach out and place a small hand on her larger, and eerily cold hand. "I wish I could ask you, that I could talk to you- that you could tell me why- why you never told me! I don't- I don't want to do this but I know I have to, and he's giving me... all you ever wanted for me. I-" Breath coming quicker, you have to force yourself to speak the next words, determined not to break down in front of everyone. "Te quiero mucho, mamá, te extraño, y vas a recordar para siempre." With a gentle squeeze to her hand, you turn and head for the doors, eyes downcast as you avoid everyone.

--------

Somehow, the universe always reflected its events; while it’d been mostly thunder and heat lightning the night prior, this morning the dark clouds have been pouring rain. Alfred had gotten you up, though really you hadn’t slept much in anticipation of what today would hold. Having been dressed for some time now, all you’ve done is sit at the window seat and stare outside, watching the rain pelt the earth repeatedly, unyielding in its triumph. You can’t help but think it’s like life, forceful until the end, when it eventually wanes and succumbs to a stop. Maybe you’re overthinking, but with everything that’s been going on… you don’t think you can help it.

“Hey,” your Father’s voice calls from the door, a gentle knock on the wood follows as he continues to open it and step through the threshold. “Are you ready? Breakfast is waiting, and then Alfred’s gonna take us,” he informs, “the boys are going to join for breakfast, but then it’ll just be us, alright?” 

Before he can get too far into the room you rise from the window seat and tear your attention away from the gardens. With a nod, you meet him halfway and follow downstairs.

Breakfast is mostly silent, as you’re sure no one is quite certain what to say. If they could say anything, that is. Hell, even Damian doesn't have a snarky remark, and Dick doesn't try and make meaningless conversation. It all comes and goes far faster than you'd imagined, though the food was delicious. With your departure and solemn looks from your newfound siblings, Alfred pulls the Rolls Royce up to a gentle stop before the Manor's fancy double doors.

It was hard to believe she was in there. Yes, you'd picked out the coffin, yes you'd seen her at the viewing, and yet... this is your Mother. The woman who birthed you, who fed you, who took care of you year after year, and was there for you no matter what. And now... she's gone.

It doesn't feel real. The rain pattering against the umbrella Bruce holds up over you. All the people who sit and stand opposite of the priest as he goes about his rites. Of course there came time for the eulogy, and while there was the option of making one yourself, you couldn't find it within yourself to do so. Like Tim had mentioned, this could be something you may regret later, but in this moment it feels like too much. There's a dull queasiness that never leaves your stomach as you stand, eyes cast downward as your hands lay clasped before you. Rain, muck, and mud cling to your black mary-jane shoes, the ground now beginning to flood as the soil's beared all it can soak up for the next coming weeks. 

People come and go, they give their well wishes and hopes for your sake, and yet you can't really put any of it to mind or manner as all you can focus on is the growing emptiness within you. This isn't how things were supposed to go. You weren't supposed to be burying your parent... not this soon. That's not how it works! 

It's the call of your name that stirs you from your thoughts. Eyes raising to the familiar face, you can't help but feel your eyes widen with the shock and astonishment that they had the audacity to visit... to stay. Yes, he wasn't a stranger; yet an acquaintance isn't necessarily a friend. The boy lifts his hands to cup one of yours between his. "I'm so sorry to hear what happened, Mi Amor, I'm always here for you, sabes," Saul says. Though there's a sympathetic look in his eyes, you don't trust him one bit. Not after he'd taken one opportunity after another and gotten trapped up with the man behind him: Antonio 'Angel' Marin. Sure, you'd dumped Saul before he'd become affiliated with the notorious Bludhaven mob boss, but it didn't do him any favors holding company like that. 

As Saul leaves you and heads toward the line of black cars along the cemetery road, you dread the man next in line. "It's an unfortunate thing, losing a mother," Angel speaks, "looks like luck had its way with you though, getting you out." From the outside it might seem inappropriate, or perhaps simply a mistaken and poorly judged comment, but you know better. Lips pursing, jaw tightening, you don't dare let your hands form into fists as you meet the man's eyes. 

His oily face and ratty mustache meet your gaze, and you suddenly feel anger beginning to simmer in your gut. Though you're not sure why. While there'd been a time you may have considered him a family friend, a protector, a genius, and a revolutionary... those times have gone. He hadn't done your family wrong, in fact, he'd done nothing but try to help you and your Mom out of poverty, and yet... there were always strings attached. Neither of you had seen them at first and once you'd wanted out, you'd luckily gotten out without too much of a fight. Thankfully, unlike some of the stories you've heard, and yet, somewhere within you the anger persists. Maybe it's the smug look on his face, his taunting words perhaps, but whatever it is, he irks you.

"Don't go gettin' into any more trouble, ya hear?" His thin voice lets out a wry chuckle and he lays a pat on your shoulder before you can dodge it. Watching him leave with his trail of two or three choice goons behind him, you can't help but feel like he'd only come here for one thing, and one thing only... to taunt you. Was it a warning? A sign? A way of telling you that without his protection you were doomed? Leading a life toward failure? Only to end up like your Mother? No... no, that can't be it. There has to be something else, that can't be it. 

"Do you know him?" Bruce asks, finally speaking up for the first time since the service ended. He'd seen the whole interaction, he knows who that man was... but he doesn't know if you do. Not truly, anyway. Even if the grimace and shiver that'd run up your spine was visible from the way you attempted to evade the evil man's touch. Eyes peering down at you, he's disturbed by the lack of eye contact you make. Maybe he shouldn't be... you haven't been talking or interacting as much as you had been in the days leading up to this, something that's normal, he can only imagine.

"Once," you respond faintly. Eyes coming back to the rolling hills of the cemetery you watch the rain continue to pour. Life doesn't seem to stir here, no sight of sneaky intruders like squirrels, doves, or robins, no other patrons coming to visit their loved ones on a day like this. Thunder cracks overhead, and the diminishing sound of tires on gravel signals the Angel's departure. With a thick swallow, your hands finally ball up into fists. A single tear finally breaches the confines of your eyelid and slips down your cheek. With a heavy sigh you turn, meeting Alfred who stands a few feet behind the both of you. Stomping over to him, you grab the bouquet of flowers you'd all picked up on the way. "If you want to say anything... here," you announce over the sounds of the thunderstorm. Undoing the plastic and rubber bands from the store-bought bouquet, you hand both the men a single flower. Determined that the rest should belong to you, you head over to the grave, uncaring if you get wet any longer as you're no longer under their umbrellas.

Though your teeth hurt from the way your jaw is clenched, you can't help it as the tears start to flow more freely. With everyone gone, you don't mind being here alone. Placing the flowers atop your Mother's casket, your hand lingers on the polished wood while your free hand hangs onto the necklace your Mother had given you. "I can't do this without you," the words come in a whisper, your head almost meeting the wood before you think better of it. You don't want to appear a broken-down mess in front of the men watching. "I don't know what t-to do."

Raindrops soak your hair, coat your dress and shoes, your socks have splashes of water and freshly cut grass, not to mention that your face is covered in a mixture of raindrops and tears. A few moments of silence is all you need before you finally gather the courage to say one last goodbye and turn away, heading down the hill back toward the car before the storm gets worse.

------

"Dick... there's something you should know," Bruce mentions quietly. It's obvious from his behavior that he's upset, that this won't be a long conversation. "Antonio Marin was at her funeral. He came up to her and spoke something cryptic. I asked her about it and she said that she knew him once. I know I asked you all not to dig around, but, this is in your territory and I thought you should know." Evading his son's eye contact, he straightens his tie and sniffs, still clad in his tuxedo from the funeral. "I'll see if I can get any more information out of her, but... I don't want her caught up in this... I don't-" he sighs, finally turning to meet his son's gaze again with a look he's only seen once before, "-I don't want her getting hurt."

"I... understand." With a nod and a sympathetic look upon his face, the younger man stretches out his hand to lay it on his Father's shoulder in a small form of comfort. He knows Bruce well enough to know that anything too grand would steer him away, and while the thought of another child getting hurt at his behest unburies all the trauma Dick knows Jason's death had brought him, Dick knows they can't change the past. "I- we won't let that happen. I promise you that, Dad."

~~~~~~~~

forever taglist: @ohdamnadam , @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo

hog taglist: @luvly-writer , @clairese1980

[kinetic-elaboration]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold - thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3?

229!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,391,910 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, basically just The 100. I do have some Star Trek ideas on my writing list but that's more like... a long-term plan or something I'm building up to, rather than anything I'm actively working on. In the years I've been in fandom I've written for a variety of different ones though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

So the first, by a LOT, is this guilty pleasure Star Trek fic I started working on in college. Then What We Built, a Bellarke fic which somehow has over 1k kudos?? At #3, startlingly, A Damned Fool, another Star Trek fic but for a rare pair. Then Rings This True, a K/S fic; and the fifth is We're Home At Last, another Bellarke fic.

A weird thing about this list is that with the exception of the guilty pleasure fic, I really don't love any of these stories. I actually didn't remember We're Home at Last at all. It's interesting that what I love most and what other people vibe with most don't seem to overlap a lot.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I try my best to. Sometimes it takes me a long time. Like a long, long, long time. Like I'm trying to clear out my AO3 inbox now and it's so embarrassing how long some of these comments have been in there. I like to reply because I'm a really big advocate for people commenting on fics and I feel like part of putting my money where my mouth is on that includes responding to comments I get (also commenting when I read, of course, which I do). Also, the reason I'm pro-comment is because fanfic sharing is part of building the fandom community but there is no community if people don't interact, and that interaction is a 2 way street. I enjoy talking about these characters! That's why I'm here! So I'm always up for conversations in the comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. This is tough because I don't know how to classify angst? I know that sounds silly but I really have felt out of step with others when the topic of "angst" comes up. I don't think I write angsty fics, but I do write a lot that isn't fluff, and then it is sometimes categorized as angst--and at the same time angst for me is not tragedy; it doesn't have to be, like... death.

Anyway, I would say probably my angstiest fics are A Long Time (a Blake siblings horror with Banshee!Octavia), it is new moon and twilight (Braven/Murven/B/R/M, a rare major character death fic from me), and possibly Release (Murphy/Harper, actually written for Troped's angst round), but I don't know that the endings to them were especially angsty so much as they were, like, bittersweet and full of longing.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Man, I've written so many fics that use the classic fanfic structure of 'couple pines for each for a while and then ultimately gets together,' and the ending of all of these fics is basically the same: a kiss or a love confession, often both. I don't know that any of them is happier than any other. The Wedding Planet I suppose has a particularly treacly ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn't say I've ever gotten hate, really. On the long Star Trek fic in particular I've gotten... some comments that I didn't really appreciate, that made me sort of uncomfortable or that made me feel bad. But I don't think there was hate in the heart of the people commenting. I don't think the intention was to upset me, in other words.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've definitely written explicit fic before. It's very findable so I'm not going to deny it. I don't think I'm good at it and I don't really like the sex scenes I've written. I don't really read them either... I just have sort of complex feelings, I guess. More complex than I'll write out here at least. And when I include sex in my work now it's generally either fade to black or, like, sort of a montage of feeling or sensation rather than a literal description of what parts go where. Most/all of the sex scenes under my pen name are just vanilla stuff. I've written some kinkier things, mostly for kink memes, and one anonymously on AO3.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really. I think I've written one ficlet-sized little crossover some years ago. I'm much more likely to want to do a fusion--putting characters from one fandom into the setting of another or merging styles or settings--rather than a crossover in the traditional sense.

As for craziest... lol, when I was a kid, like middle school age, I started writing this HP/Sailor Moon crossover? Oh, it was weird and embarrassing. (It was handwritten, so not only does it not exist on the internet I don't even personally know where I put it.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I like people to ask permission before translating (or podficcing, or remixing, or whatever) so I can keep track... but I'm bad at keeping track lol. But I've had a variety of translations and partial translations over the years.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I worked on the alternate S7 Bellarke fic collab a few years ago and I've participated I think in one Big Bang successfully... I'm way too bad at compromise to do writing collabs but I have great fantasies about writing/art collaboration because I have ideas that I think would work better in multimedia, but I can only really do one medium myself.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Kirk/Spock

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm going to finish all my fics, okay?

Seriously, I really need to believe any/all of them could be completed one day but realistically... I'll make choices and decide on priorities but I don't yet know what those choices or priorities will be. I think the WIP that is least likely to be finished is oh well, you've got me under your spell, a hypothetically-multi-chapter fic I posted one chapter of in 2017 and nearly immediately hit a wall on. It's still technically on my WIP list but... it's so far away from being worked on, I rarely even think of it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I have a very good style; I think I'm good at creating atmosphere and setting a scene. Also, I go back and forth on this, but I think I'm pretty good at coming up with original and interesting, unusual ideas for stories.

17. What are you writing weaknesses?

Characters. I think all my characters are kinda the same, or I guess I should say all my takes on canon characters are kinda the same: thoughtful, introspective, lightly angsty people full of longing--in other words, me! Also, really long sentences.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I think people should do what they want. I don't do this because I am not confident enough in my foreign language abilities and I think I would butcher them. Con-langs are more common in my fandoms and I will say I'm not a huge fan of those... unpopular opinion but they really take me out of the world because I just don't believe in them. I'm not convinced by them. Personally, I tend to write everything in English and use narration or speech tags to indicate if something is spoken in another language. Or just context: if a story is taking place on Vulcan presumably all the Vulcans are speaking Vulcan, you know? I do think that if you use a foreign language in your fic, you should include easy to find translations of everything somewhere in the story or notes.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I remember very furtively, very secretly, writing some cliche 'new girl moves to Hogwarts' fan fic in my notebook when I was maybe 11 years old. Original fiction writing was already my hobby so it felt very... guilty pleasure, I think. But the first fic I published online was actually several years later, for the musical RENT.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oh gee. This is a tough one, honestly. It tends to change over time: some fics I love for years and then I just get over them, or get too distant from them, and don't really like them anymore. I think as of right now I'd probably say it is new moon and twilight is definitely one of my big faves. Also The Wanheda Tape, Mountain Lion Mean, you stole from the drugstore, and The Oasis.

I'm tagging (or just saying hello to! no pressure!) @thelittlefanpire @justbecauseyoubelievesomething @fontainebleau22 @easilydistractedbyfanfic @kindclaws @hopskipaway

[moonsvillain]

referring to ryo taking the knife - i cant imagine how ryo would feel watching amagai leave him and then just continuously hoping amagai would come back eventually. ft how would amagai cope with his actions

-anon thats been lurking in your asks today :)))

i really do appreciate the ask-lurking i have chronic can't shut the fuck up about hilo disease so these disjointed conversations where i have someone share the insanity are the highlights of my day.

anyway it really would be like, i don't think ryo would register it as amagai leaving him at first until amagai gave some confirmation of his own that he's gone for good. i imagine amagai being push and pull with ryo so maybe it'd be a text that would declare that he's done with him that would have ryo shaken out of his misguided hope.

afterwards, though, i think it'd still be a tough pill to swallow but one he'd try to accept reluctantly. not without a lot of angsty reflecting about how he wasn't enough, though. and amagai would definitely start to notice the depth of his absence once he realizes how much ryo was probably quietly making his life easier in the meantime. i doubt that amagai would have a full scope of what ryo meant to him until he was gone because he's probably accustomed to getting whatever he wanted growing up rich.

tldr bad times all around

[daisylincs]

I kinda want to know what this Angsty Post-Hive Pregnancy for staticquake is about now...

Grace 😍😍😍 Hello, sweetheart, and, first of all, I am so sorry for letting this sit so long 🙈 But you know how things can get sometimes (s o c r a z y, right???) Anyway, yeah, I’m terribly sorry, but I’m also on break now (and very happy about it!!) so here I am to answer this question at long last.

And, my, what a question!

The (angsty) Post-Hive Pregnancy fic, which can currently be found at number 140 on my WIPs list, is actually one of my fondest and closest-to-home ideas - closest to home because, funnily enough, it was actually inspired by real-life events. 

To illuminate: as you know, I started watching AoS in the beginning of this year, during the lockdown, and joined the AoS fandom (and started to write fic, too, for the first time!!) in May. Now, right about in this time, one of my cousins got pregnant - and, yes, she’s going to be teased for all eternity about having a lockdown baby, lmao. But the thing is - she didn’t realise she was pregnant at first!!

I know it sounds ridiculously like a movie (or a fanfic, lmao) where they always think oh no, it’s just a bug - but in my cousin’s case, that really is what everyone thought. She had caught a pretty nasty case of flu, but, because it was the middle of lockdown and COVID highs, our doctor advised her not to go to the hospital unless absolutely necessary. So she didn’t - but she was on some pretty strong antibiotics at home, and those made her not only nauseous, but also exhausted all the time. 

Now, I don’t know how well you know your pregnancy symptoms, but those two things - nausea and fatigue - are pretty big indicators. However, none of us, my cousin least of all, clicked this, because we’d literally been warned that the drugs could have those exact side effects. So even when her symptoms continued a little longer than they should have, we remained clueless.

When we did finally realise, this got me thinking. Some withdrawal symptoms - especially the fatigue, dizziness and nausea thing - look a lot like pregnancy symptoms, and mistaking them, as my family had proved, was a very easy thing. So I thought: what if we put a recovering Daisy in a situation where she won’t be paying her own health much mind, and would anyway dismiss these symptoms as post-Hive?

Well, there’s an easy enough solve for that: figure out a way for Lincoln to not die, but still be in mortal danger when they got him back. Daisy, of course, would sit by his hospital bed for as long as needed - and, in her post-Hive state of mind, probably think she deserved the nausea/fatigue/dizziness etc. 

So that’s what the Post-Hive Pregnancy Fic is, basically! It follows a Daisy who isn’t taking care of herself at all, sitting by Lincoln’s bed day in and day out till he recovers - then, one day, when he does wake up, she can’t ignore the symptoms anymore... and also has the cold-shock realisation of “omg, when last did I have a period??” 

Yeah, so after that, the fic chronicles Daisy’s recovery after Hive just as much as it does her pregnancy - I drew on a lot of material from my post-Hive angst fic for that part, and I  have also badgered my poor cousin with endless pregnancy questions throughout the run of the year. 

And when I get the time, that’s exactly what I’m going to write: Daisy, post-Hive and full of angst, recovering slowly, and she and Lincoln both trying to improve themselves as much as possible to be the best parents they can for this baby. Which, of course, they’re keeping. Daisy, I believe, would never agree to give up her baby in any way, regardless of whether the pregnancy was an accident or not.

I even chanced upon the most perfect title for this thing the other day!! In one of those, light-bulb, oh-my-gosh-why-didn’t-I-see-this-before moments, I chanced to think that you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight (you’ll be alright), which is from Ed Sheeran’s Small Bump, just describes everything I want absolutely perfectly. 

And there we are!! I hoped you liked this answer, Grace, and that it was at least a little bit worth the long wait 🙈🥰 Feel free to ask me more about my WIPs, or badger me for snippets/to actually write them, anytime you like!! Love you <333

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Young American - Part 2

A wee bit angsty, but it ends well!

Full series masterlist

WC: 9K+

Despite the conversation Y/N and Harry had outside of the tattoo shop, the one where he seemed remorseful for his behavior, Harry’s continued attitude towards her said otherwise. Just the very next day he went off on her because she had forgotten to refill the ink cups in the drawer at his station. It was an honest mistake, she really just forgot! But he felt that she had done it just to get under his skin and went out of his way to confront her about it. That squabble seemed to set the tone for the rest of the day, which no one was witness to because Rosa was still out sick and Y/N was still manning the front.

It didn’t stop there though, it seemed to get worse throughout the week. Rosa came back on Wednesday of that week so Y/N was put back on lots of shadowing, practice, and walk-ins. And since Harry was the one with less work to do, Auree had asked him to check on her tattoo practices. Despite her having tattooed many people, she still found it helpful to practice much more difficult things on the fake skin since most of her walk-in tattoos were very simple and tiny tattoos. Harry was a brutal critic, he would find the tiniest issue and tear her apart for it and  he seemed to find a lot of issues with her work. Like right now, she had a migraine coming on, so the last thing on her mind was the fucking practice piece that Harry was looking over. She was just trying to tough it out today and not puke as she often did when she got migraines. It was hard to focus on a thing other than the throbbing worsening on one side of her head.

“Jesus…” Harry mumbled as he looked over one of the mats she had been working on for a couple of hours, “If it were up to me you wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the clients. Look at this… that line is way too thick. And her arm here is way out of proportion.” He pointed out on the American style pin-up girl she had worked on.

“Yes, shit. I can see that now.” She responded, despite the queasiness she felt.

“How is it possible that you’ve been here for 4 months and you’re getting worse?” He asked her and she sighed, “And look at this!” He pointed out yet another thing that wasn’t wrong but that he stylistically didn’t agree with, but he reamed her on it nonetheless.

“Fuck. Yeah, I know this is not my best work but-”

“I don’t want to hear excuses, Y/N. Clients sure as shit aren’t going to want to hear excuses when you’ve botched their fucking tattoo!” He berated her, “If you’re not going to take this seriously maybe your mind was on the right track last week and you should quit.” He said with frustration as he dropped the square of silicone skin on the counter before her and she felt her chest tighten. 

It was truly demoralizing to hear an artist she had looked up to say that to her. Not just that, her head hurt so bad and she felt like she was going to be sick at any second.

“I am serious about it, but-”

“I just said there are no valid excuses for giving a shitty tattoo. You don’t get do-overs on clients, Y/N. Either you can do it or you can’t. I’m sure as shit not going to waste my time inspecting your work when you clearly can’t deliver.” He said lowly and walked away.

After that interaction the rest of her day inched by so slowly. It was depressing how slow it went. She caught Auree on her way out and told her she had a big migraine and would let her know if she’d be able to come in the next day. Auree was going on an little vacation and Y/N didn’t want to disrupt her time away, so she just told her now and Auree was more than OK with her being off if needed and with that she took off and Y/N finished up her tasks before also heading home for the night.

**********

Y/N’s migraine didn’t go away. She discovered this at 6am when her alarm was blaring beneath her pillows. She groaned and switched her phone to silence in irritation at it’s harsh interruption. A low and pained groan fluttered out of her mouth as she felt the throbbing intensify from the loud sound. She shook her head a little and squinted at the screen glaring at her in its full brightness but whatever movement she had just made suddenly made her extremely nauseous and she barely made it to the toilet before she started heaving up whatever contents her stomach could get rid of.

“Fuck.” She mumbled with tears in her eyes as the throbbing sensation on one side of her head just pounded torturously after the force of vomiting. She sat slumped against the bathroom wall for a few minutes before brushing her teeth and then carefully getting back into bed and texting Auree that she was still sick and after that she just fell back asleep.

***********

As was his routine, Harry showed up at the shop at about 8:30 in the morning. He was expecting to see Y/N fluttering around, headphones in as she accustomed after he’d chewed her out about something the day prior. They found it easier to just block each other out when the frustration had carried over into the next day. He realized that he did it a lot more than her, she’d only done it twice before. The first time she did it was a week prior, after she shared that she was thinking of quitting the apprenticeship. The second time was on Monday when he had gone off on her the day before for forgetting to put ink cups into his supply drawer. And maybe tomorrow would be another one of those days for her because it didn’t look like anything was prepped yet and he was annoyed as he wanted to work at his station. 

Harry walked around to see where she was, he could’ve sworn he saw her car outside, but when he went back out to check the parking lot behind the shop it was just his car. He went back inside and decided not to think about it too much. Maybe Auree had her run some errands since she was on vacation until next Tuesday. With that, he just went to prepping the stations, he had nothing better to do anyway and maybe she could learn a thing or two from his prep work.

It was now 9am and Harry was starting to get a little worried for some reason he didn’t want to explore at the moment, but this wasn’t normal for Y/N. He was about to text Rosa when she came in greeting him with a smile.

“Hey, H!” She said cheerfully.

“Ummm, Y/N’s not here yet. Do you know where she might be?” He asked her and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Oh, that’s strange.” Rosa said and pulled her phone out of her pocket and she hummed, “She hasn’t texted me anything about not coming in.” She said and then went to her contact and called her and the phone rang out until she got her voicemail, “Ummm, it went to voicemail. Let me try Auree, maybe she knows something.” She said and called Auree and her phone went straight to voicemail, “Well, Auree’s probably still on the plane. We can ask G when he comes in?” Rosa suggested he nodded and they went back to doin their thing. Ten minutes later Rosa came back with a frown, “I’ve tried a few times and still no answer.” She said showing Harry five more calls, “I’m getting a little worried.” She admitted to him.

“Morning, losers.” Vy teased as she stepped into the studio and Harry who normally just teased her back, frowned. “What’re you guys all huddled up about?” She asked as she set her things down on her counter.

“Have you heard anything from Y/N? Like where she might be?” Harry asked her immediately.

“Mmmm, no. Last I saw her was last night before I left, she went to Auree’s office to talk to her before she left though. Y/N wasn’t looking too good.” She said and Harry frowned as he heard this and suddenly his words telling her that maybe she should just quit were echoing in his head.

“A-are you sure?” He asked her and she nodded.

“Yeah, maybe we just need to wait for Auree to get back to us. Y/N’s phone keeps ringing out to the voicemail and she hasn’t come in.” Rosa explained to Vy and she frowned.

“That’s really weird…maybe she had an emergency or something happened-”

“Nothing happened to her, you idiot.” Harry interrupted with an edge to his tone and Vy scoffed.

“Screw you, Harry. Why do you even care, huh? I’ve seen and heard the way you’ve been towards her these last few days.” Vy snapped and Rosa frowned.

“What do you mean?” She asked Vy.

“Harry’s been a total dick to Y/N since Auree put him in charge of her training. He made her cry on Tuesday.” Vy said and Harry sighed.

“No I didn’t.” He said to Vy, “I didn’t make her cry.” He then turned to Rosa who was frowning.

“You did, Harry! I saw her crying in the lounge after you had said something to her. I asked her if you had said something to her and she shook her head and I pressed her on it and she just told me to leave it alone. I then asked her if she wanted me to go and get Auree and she said no and promised me she would deal with it. Whatever that meant.” Vy confronted Harry.

“Jesus, Harry.” Rosa grumbled and Harry frowned, “Well, we shouldn’t be pointing fingers if we don’t know what’s actually happening. Let’s just wait until G gets here.” Rosa said.

“Speaking of the devil…” Vy said as G came into the studio area of the shop.

“What’s going on?” G asked with a smile and Harry frowned, this was going to get bad and they would surely tell Eddie that he was out of line and get him fired.

“Y/N hasn’t shown up yet and we can’t reach her at all.” Rosa explained and his smile dropped, “Do you have any idea of where she might be?” 

“Ummm, no. She wasn’t doing too well yesterday towards the end of the day though.” He said and Vy glared at Harry, “Maybe she’s out sick.” He said.

“She never said anything to me and Auree didn’t mention anything either before leaving. Can you try her?” Rosa said and he nodded and tried calling and it also rang out until it went to voicemail.

“Yeah, she’s not answering.” He said which validated everyone’s concern now, “I’ll try again later, OK?” He said to everyone and they all nodded and dispersed. 

The air was a bit tense through out the day and it was a little after 1pm when G went into the lounge for his lunch and Harry followed after him.

“Hey, man.” He said and G turned towards him.

“Hey, what’s up?” G said as he pulled his salad out of the fridge.

“Ummm, are you sure Y/N didn’t say anything to you about why she’s not here?” He asked again.

“Why do you care?” He asked Harry who sighed. All day he had this weird throbbing feeling in his throat and chest. What if he had pushed her too far? What if something had happened to her and he never got the chance to make it right? That put an even worse feeling in his chest.

“I can’t care about her not being here? I’ll have to pick her slack up all day.” Harry responded in such a bratty way despite the lump that seemed to be permanently lodged in his throat and G just shook his head.

“Maybe she took your advise from yesterday and decided to quit.” G quipped and Harry frowned.

“G-”

“Is that why you’re so worried about it?” He asked and Harry bit his lip.

“If you know where she’s at and you’re being a prick on purpose-”

“I haven’t heard from her either, asshole. She’s my friend and I’m worried about her too.” G said and Harry sighed and just walked over to the front where Rosa was looking through the appointments for the day.

“Hey, H.” She said softly.

“Haven’t heard from her?”

“No. Or Auree.”

“Jesus… I may have made her cry, but she just really pissed me off that day and-”

“Harry, there’s never a valid reason for making someone else feel that upset. She’s not as experienced as all of you. She’s just an apprentice, she’s been here a while but she’s still learning, OK? And she’s really good for the little experience she has. You need to cut her some slack.” Rosa said and Harry nodded.

“Can I use your keys, need to grab something from the supply room.”

“Yeah, here.” Rosa said and Harry thanked her before actually heading back and into Auree’s office. He looked through some of the drawers she had and he found the emergency contact papers and he snapped a quick picture of Y/N’s before heading out and returning the keys to Rosa. He then snuck out of the back door and looked at the picture and then dialed the number.

“C’mon, Y/N…pick up.” He whispered as the line rang and rang and then there was silence for a moment, “Hello?” Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice-, “Shit.” He mumbled and hung up. He then looked back at the picture to see if he had put in the correct number and he had. He then saw her emergency contact below. He bit his lip and decided he would just call it. It rang a few times before it stopped, “Hello?” He spoke tentatively.’

“Who is this?”

“Hi, my name is Harry. Is this Juliana?” He asked.

“Yes and Harry? I don’t know a Harry.” She said with a questioning tone.

“Oh right, sorry. I’m from English Graffiti, the tattoo shop Y/N’s the apprentice for?” 

“Oh! Is there something I can help you with?” She asked him.

“I don’t meant to alarm you at all but have you heard from her today? We’ve been trying to get a hold of her all bloody day and we’re really worried about her.” He explained. Now that he was alone the anxiety in his voice came clean through.

“Ummm, there must be some confusion, she’s home sick. Since yesterday she had a migraine.  The poor thing gets these every now and again, but they’re really awful and can last for days. She’s been sleeping nearly all day.” She explained, “Maybe that’s why she hasn’t been picking up.” Upon hearing that Harry felt a sense of relief completely wash over.

“Oh, thank god.” He sighed and the woman chuckled, “Our manager left for vacation yesterday and she probably forgot to tell us that she wouldn’t be coming in.” He explained, “Just wanted to check with you because we’ve all been thinking something was wrong all day.” He said.

“No, apart from the killer headaches she’s good. If she wakes up I’ll have her call you or text you?” 

“Oh no, that’s fine. I’ll just let everyone else know that she’s alright. Thank you.” He assured.

“Alright, hon. Thanks for checking in.”

“Yeah, hope she feels better soon. Just let her know if she needs another day or something she can text Rosa. She’s the assistant manager.” 

“Alright, buh-bye.”

“Bye.” Harry said and hung up. 

At least she was alive and hadn’t quit to his knowledge… she had given him quite a scare with that. He really needed to sit with the feelings he’d had all day, pure anxiety, guilt, and concern. Plus, now two of his colleagues had first hand-witnessed how his actions had impacted Y/N. He didn’t want them to think he was an asshole. Well maybe, it was a little late for that but he could still make it right. Harry took a little breather for a few minutes, he was deciding on whether he should text her and see how she was feeling; but after giving it some thought he decided that it would be best to talk with her in person when she returned.  He made it back inside just as Rosa was telling everyone that Y/N had texted her and informed her she was out sick and that she had talked to Auree about it before she left. Auree also got back to Rosa eventually, her phone had died and she had left her charger in her stowed away luggage and hadn’t been able to use it until she had arrived at her destination.

The day was closing out and Vy had just finished her final appointment. She saw that Harry had started to clean up, as Y/N usually would if she were around. So after saying her goodbye to her client she went over to Harry.

“Hey, sorry for throwing you under the bus like that earlier.” She apologized and he slightly turned to her as he moved to the next empty station and sprayed down the surface with disinfectant.

“It’s alright. I kind of deserved it, I was a complete prick to Y/N.” 

“Why though?” Vy asked and he sighed as moved to the next station.

“I don’t know…” he fibbed and she rolled her eyes.

“You like her or something?” She asked with an unimpressed expression on her face.

“No. I mean, she is kinda hot, but it’s nothing like that.” He stated and she looked at him skeptically.

“I just don’t get it, H. You were literally in the same boat as her for the longest time. Out of all of us you should understand how the apprenticeship thing can go. If anyone should be in her corner here it’s you.” Vy said.

“I know that. I’ve just been having a tough time settling in and getting things going for myself. I think it’s just easier to take it out on her since she doesn’t know stuff and whatnot.” He said to her and she sighed upon hearing this.

“It’s gonna get better. You’re a great artist, Harry.” Vy assured him and he smiled. “Now, I have another question for you.” She said.

“Alright, shoot.”

“Why didn’t you wipe the disinfectant?” She questioned and he chuckled.

“I actually learned that from Y/N. Apparently on the backs of the bottles it says it has to like marinate on surfaces for a little bit to really disinfect, so yeah. That’s why it’s just sitting here.” He said and she hummed.

“Interesting. Are you gonna apologize to Y/N?”

“Yeah. When she’s back though. Unsurprisingly she’s not too happy with me.” He reminded and she nodded.

“Of course. Well, just make it right, OK?” Vy asked and Harry nodded in assurance.

“I will.” He confirmed.

*************

Y/N was feeling a bit better in the evening, so when G spontaneously dropped by to check in she told her aunt to let him in. 

“Come in!” She called out when she heard a few knocks on her door and in came G with a smile.

“Hey, how you feeling?”

“It’s manageable right now.” She said.

“Good. We missed you at work today.” He said and then her eyes opened wide.

“I just recalled, Harry called my aunt!” She disclosed and G’s eyes widened.

“He what?” G asked in disbelief and she nodded.

“Yeah, she told me that a guy with a British accent called because he was worried about where I might be.” She smiled with satisfaction. Maybe he had a heart after all…she thought to herself.

“Well, yeah that’s accurate. He was freaking out almost all morning about it. I think he thought that he had definitely made you quit after yesterday.” G cackled and she giggled, “He was freaking out! I have never seen him so concerned!”

“Serves him right…” Y/N mumbled and G nodded with a grin.

“I mean, he must be a nice guy if Eddie has been friends with him this whole time.” G speculated.

“I guess…I mean, he was nice to me once and then shit on it two seconds later. I just don’t get his logic for treating me like shit. Do you think if I just don’t interact with him it would be unprofessional? Like of course, I’ll talk with him if it’s work related, but I’d avoid him at all other costs.” She said and G shook his head.

“No, I don’t think you’d be wrong for that.” He said and she nodded. 

After a bit more chatting he informed her that he had actually brought her some pho and they could eat together if she was up for it and after their meal he was leaving and Y/N was heading back to her room after bidding her aunt a good night. As she laid there staring at her ceiling she couldn’t help but feel a tinge of satisfaction knowing that Harry felt bad, even guilty perhaps, because of what he had said to her. But to the point that he called her aunt somehow? It was too good and so insane! And if she could, she would totally tease him about it until the day he died. But also, it kind of made her angry that he was so arrogant and self-important that he thought his words could break her down so much that she would actually quit. 

Yes, she had given it serious thought, but because as she had told him before, she deserved more than someone who was half-assed helping her. She knew she was good, Eddie didn’t just choose her for nothing, his Y/Nidation gave her confidence in her abilities and a lot of what she learned came directly from him. So if Harry had an issue with how she did things that meant he had an issue with Eddie, and there was no way that was the case. 

Harry was a total mind fuck to her. The part of her that loved mysteries and puzzles was awakened around him. She wanted to figure him out, wanted to see what his soft spot was and hopefully get him to ease up on her. But then on the other hand, she knew that engaging with him was probably not going to have the desired outcome and once again, with some snarky remark he would just enrage and disappoint her. So what was the point of even trying to be nice and win him over? Maybe she could just continue to do it for her own good karma then.

…. A COUPLE DAYS LATER ….

It was odd for someone to be at the shop before Y/N, but lo and behold, Harry was in before her. She knew it was him because he either drove a motorcycle or his classic, yellow Ferrari;  today it was the motorcycle. She took three deep breaths as she approached the back door to get inside. She wondered for a few seconds if she was on the devil’s fun list because after having a three day migraine, the last thing she needed was to be greeted first thing in the morning by one, Harry Styles. She rolled her shoulders back and exhaled away the negative thoughts before opening up the door and heading to the lounge/lockers area. As she turned into the room she was met with Harry pouring a mug of coffee.

“Morning.” She mumbled and he looked up.

“Good morning.” He responded with a small smile, “This is actually for you.” He said and her eye brows lifted in slight surprise.

“Ummm-”

“I read somewhere that caffeine can help migraines - well just headaches in general and I ummm, yeah…” He stopped awkwardly and abruptly, “Just in case you’re still dealing with a little pain.” He said and she nodded.

“OK, you can just leave it there. I’ll grab it once I’ve settled in.” She said and he nodded.

“Right of course.”

“Yeah, thanks.” She said awkwardly and he offered one last half-smile before he set the mug down and hurried out. 

“What the fuck?” She mumbled to herself as she put her things in her locker and then put her food container in the fridge. 

She looked down into the steaming mug with the gorgeously aromatic brew and wondered if he had poisoned it. But then she thought that even if he had and she passed on, at least she wouldn’t have to see him ever again. With that little grain of hope and acceptance she took a sip and then headed out to start setting up. Harry was cooperative when she got to his station and didn’t make any remarks to her about anything. She recalled G mentioning he was in a right state the first day she had not shown up, so maybe he was feeling like he needed to compensate for his guilt and se’d let him. 

She finished setting up and then went back for her coffee before she settled herself over at one of the drawing stations. She had been looking though what she had left the last time, it was the classic American style stuff. She struggled a lot with the animals from certain angles, her proportions would be a little bit off. Her last drawing had been of a heart-spotted leopard and the lines were not clean at all on that one, she knew her work on the pin-ups weren’t great, but she was seeing the same thing here. She wanted to try the pin-ups again and then show them to Harry - she was confident that she could do a much better job without her head feeling like it would explode at any given moment. So she got started and after about 15 minutes she saw a slight obstruction to the overhead light and knew Harry was likely looking down at her work.

“That’s much better than last time.” He said and she hummed in agreement, “Probably wasn’t coming out because you weren’t feeling well.” He said.

“Yeah, that’s what I was attempting to tell you and then you said that clients wouldn’t be interested in hearing any excuses when they got a shitty tattoo. Which is the truth so…” she trailed off and continued and he sighed.

“Can you take a break for a second?” He asked and she put her things down and spun around in the stool to face him, waiting for him to continue expectantly. “Y/N, I…” he paused and swallowed thickly, “I’m really sorry for how I’ve been treating you. You’re right, I’ve been an absolute asshole. Literally, the prince of all pricks and you have done absolutely nothing wrong to deserve that kind of treatment from me.” He said and she stayed with a cold and guarded exterior, she was waiting for the catch.

“I think I was just…jealous of you. Eddie talked to me about you from the day he found you at that tattoo con. When he got a copy of your portfolio he video called me to look over your work with him, he distinctly said that you would probably be as good as and even better than some of us within a few years. Then to hear him say that your first tattoos were top notch it made me feel…subpar. It made me wonder if maybe he was thinking about me when he told me that you’d be better than some of us. And then you started tattooing and people started asking for you to tattoo them for walk-ins instead of me and I…” he huffed, “I guess it confirmed what I was so scared of.” He said and she felt her heart ache a bit for him.

“Coming out here and being away from my family and everything I’ve ever known has been… really hard, to say the least. And I’m not saying that as an excuse, I’m just letting you know.” He explained and she just watched and listened attentively, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve been a dick because I’m jealous and feeling a little insecure right now. I’m sorry for everything. For not being a great mentor and for tearing you down and for undermining your talent. I mean, I started when I was 17 and I didn’t start to get really well known until I was about 23… and you’re how old now?”

“24.”

“24, Jesus… And you’ve only been tattooing for like a month and you really are better than most artists I know when they started out!”

“That’s not even true.” She sighed with a small smile and a shake of her head.

“It is!” He confirmed, “I was…or I think I still am intimidated by you, Y/N.” He admitted. “And again it’s not an excuse to be a dick, but it’s the reason I was being a dick and it wasn’t cool. So again, I’m sorry and I won’t do anything like that again.” He apologized. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you told me a few weeks ago, in the parking lot?” He asked her and she nodded, “I know that you’ve been working hard at this for years and you’re right, you don’t deserve to be treated this way and I don’t want to be the reason that you leave. I know anyone would be lucky to take you on, but ummm, you should stay here with all of us. I truly believe that this is the best place for you.” He finished and inhaled deeply and he seemed visibly relaxed now that he had gotten that all off of his chest. 

To be quite honest, he had been mentally rehearsing talking points he wanted to make to her and he didn’t end up using any of them, he just let the words flow as he felt and she seemed to have taken them well from the expression on her face. Now he was waiting on her and that was just as scary as having to say he was sorry.

“OK.” She responded after a beat of silence, “Thank you for that.”

“Cool, so we can just pretend like none of this ever happened and start from zero. I’d like to take a shot at being friends or maybe we start with me being your mentor like you had originally hoped?” He asked with a small, but hopeful smile and she sighed.

“Ummm…look Harry, I do forgive you for everything that happened before. And I really do sympathize with what you’ve got going on that has contributed to all of this, but I have my reservations about things moving forward. The past is the past and I believe that things will be better from here on out but that doesn’t change my experience with you.” She explained as gently as she could and he frowned a bit, “You were really mean, Harry.” She said, “And I don’t mean to shit all over your effort, I really appreciate it but I don’t want to be friends with you. And apart from you looking over my practice pieces or whatever else Auree wants you to work on with me, I don’t think we need to interact.” She said and he felt completely disappointed in her response. There was a giant knot forming in his throat and he had no idea why it was hitting him so hard, “I swear, I have nothing against you and again, thank you for making things right, but I’m not interested in anything more than getting along at work.” She emphasized and waited for him to respond.

“But…” he started and then trailed off and she felt so bad as she saw the look in his eyes. But she didn’t trust him in the slightest. His eyes met her own again and he could see that her walls were still high and so instead of trying to defy her decision he just shut up and nodded, “OK, I understand and I respect your decision.” He said and that quite literally shocked her.

“Thank you.” She said quietly and he nibbled on his lip for a moment before just turning around and heading back to his station and putting on his headphones. 

Harry still felt like shit. He had been so awful to her that she wanted nothing to do with him! And while her reaction and rejection were justified, it genuinely hurt his feelings. Eddie was right in saying that she was like him, they were both talented and fast learners, but they were both also headstrong and guarded. As he sat there wallowing in the feeling of utter defeat and rejection at least he knew that she wasn’t mad at him.

***********

In the weeks that followed Y/N stayed true to what she had said, she was nice and professional towards him, definitely not as smiley as she was with those she had established a stronger friendship with, but she was nice. He did find that he still gravitated towards her when he was frustrated though. Before it was to take his frustrations out on her, but now that they were on good terms, he realized that he went towards her because unlike everyone else, she would just stay quiet and let him rant about things, even if they had nothing to do with her. And when he was done she would just ask him in the calmest tone if there was anything she could do to help, as if he hadn’t been fuming angry seconds before. She was solution and action driven in moments when he was just frozen with anger and frustration. He did tend to have a very tunneled vision when he was upset and he liked that she would help him work past that. When he didn’t have a stick up his ass about her he really saw all of her wonderful qualities and he found himself feeling jealous again, but not of her, but of those that were privy to the extra sweetness she brought to their lives.

He wondered if she would ever change her mind about him? If she would be willing to give him another chance so that she could see that he wasn’t forcibly playing nice with her, he was a really nice guy! Genuinely! But like everything and everyone, there are not so pleasant things about him too and he’s human and he makes mistakes, this one was a big one. In all his hurt he was carrying and his arrogance due to his wounded pride he really fucked up the possibility of a great relationship and that just weighed heavily on him. 

It made him sad because this was precisely why he left England. He had tarnished his relationship with his family and friends, he was ashamed of the hurt he caused and he was alone. He needed a fresh start, a new perspective, a chance to make new friends and once again, heh ad pushed mostly everyone away. He gave it a lot of thought over the past few weeks after she just set the boundary with him to only interacting when needed; she was still o kind to him, it made made him want to prove himself. All he knew was that he didn’t want to miss out on good people, he needed to stop pushing them away and open himself up to the possibility of finding happiness again. He had to fix this somehow. Someway he was going to fix it.

…. A FEW WEEKS LATER ….

The day had been rather slow; G’s appointment had an emergency and needed to reschedule, Vy was in between big pieces, and Harry well, he was still in the stages of building up his clientele, he’d had a few tattoos and plenty of consultations, five in the last few weeks, but it seemed that no one had really bitten yet to get a really big piece and well, Y/N and Rosa had just been hanging out at the front. Auree had been out and doing promo for the shop, she had friends in TV and radio and was really trying to bring more business in. So now, they were about two hours from closing and all twiddling their thumbs after doing some cleaning.

“Y/N,” Vy said, coming out to the front.

“Yeah?” She asked?

“I have a job for you if you want to come on back?”

“Ummm OK. Talk to you later.” She smiled to Rosa before following Vy back to her station, “OK, what can I help with?” She asked with a smile.

“I need you to touch up some of my tattoos.” She said with a smile and Y/N’s eyebrows shot up and upon hearing that both G and Harry glanced over to them.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, girl! C’mon. Even have the color ready for the flowers.” Vy said as she sat in her chair and Y/N headed over to put on some gloves. Harry and G wandered over and she started feeling a little bit more nervous. Vy’s tattoos were very intricate and symmetrical, if she screwed something up it would be very noticeable. As she sat down beside her with the machine in hand she started feeling a bit more nervous. 

“So what am I doing again?”

“Just touch up the red for me on my arm and then we can talk about the touch ups on my back.” Vy said and Y/N pressed the pedal on the machine, making it buzz to life. She could feel Harry’s gaze intent on her and she looked up at him and was more than appeased when she saw that he was smiling at her.

“It’s just coloring it in, you got this.” He said and everyone seemed a bit shocked to hear that come out of his mouth, but they didn’t say anything and she just nodded and went for it. It only took about 20 minutes to fill in all of her flowers. And then Vy asked her to touch up some little things on her back and was showing her on a mirror what she wanted cleaned up.

“I have to go to the bathroom don’t start without me!” G said and they all chuckled as he rushed away. Harry switched out her ink as Vy settled on the chair, Y/N was looking over the areas she had said she wanted the lines touched up.

“Before you start what do you need to make sure you do?” Harry asked her and she bit her lip, “Look at all of those intricate shapes and lines you need to replicate.” He hinted and then her eyebrows raised as she turned to Harry.

“I need to make sure the skin is taut enough to get the exact shape?” She asked and he smiled and nodded.

“Exactly, good job.” He smiled and Vy smiled as Harry encouraged Y/N, “Don’t forget that you can tell her how she should position herself so that it’s comfortable for you to tattoo her.” He reminded and she nodded. 

She eventually just asked Vy to lay on her her stomach because it was easier for her to work horizontally to start and so she did and when G came back she started the touching up. Both he and Harry were encouraging her along the way and Vy, being a heavily tattooed person, was taking it like a champ, which was less nerve-racking for her. When she finished up and showed Vy she was very pleased with her touch-ups. 

“I’m next in line.” G said as Y/N cleaned up and she giggled. A little bit after, they all got ready to close up for the day.

“Hey guys, so next Saturday my husband and I are throwing a little halloween party at our house. We do it every year. I’ll text you all the details and if you’re up to it feel free to come, I’d love to see you all there.” Vy announced and everyone nodded in excitement and thanked her for the invite and finished up for the day. G was waiting on Y/N to have some dinner, but he was chatting with Rosa up front while he waited.

“You did really well with Vy.” Harry said as he finished packing up his things. He seemed to be leaving extra early today, he usually walked out a few minutes before her or at the same time.

“Thank you. And thank you for talking me through some of the things, it was really helpful.” She said with a smile and he nodded.

“Good. Well, have a good one, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said and she nodded and waved goodbye as he headed out of the back. She finished sweeping and soon Rosa and G were coming back to the studio.

“Ready?” He asked and Y/N nodded, “Rosa’s gonna join us.”

“OK perfect! The more the merrier!” Y/N smiled and they soon grabbed all of their things and headed out for some sushi. 

**************

They hadn’t been sitting at the table for more than two minutes when G spoke up and offered up a topic of conversation with his commentary.

“So Harry’s been really nice to you.” He said and Y/N glanced up from the menu. 

By now, it was no secret that things had been rough with them at the start. It’s not that they had aired their dirty laundry to everyone, but there was definitely less tension and a noticeably better vibe than before.

“Yeah, we talked it out a few weeks ago.” She said before glancing down at her end again.

“And you didn’t say anything?” He asked in shock and she sighed.

“He just…got a little bit personal and I didn’t think he would appreciate me going off to talk about it with anyone. But it’s settled.” She assured him and Rosa who smiled.

“Well that’s really good! He seems to be in a better mood too, so I’m sure being on good terms with you has helped with that.” Rosa added.

“I think so too.” Y/N smiled.

“You should’ve heard him when she was tattooing Vy! Just coaching her through some things. It was sweet.” G said and Y/N rolled her eyes as Rosa cooed.

“I would certainly hope he coaches me through stuff, he’s the one in charge of my training.” She reminded and G huffed as Y/N took a sip of her water.

“Vy told me that he said you were hot.” Rosa said with a grin and Y/N choked on her water. Her eyes teared up and she coughed until the discomfort had cleared only to see G and Rosa laughing at her.

“You guys are dicks.” She said and took a slow sip before clearing her throat.

“What if he has a little crush on you?” Rosa added with an endeared pout.

“Oh, he certainly doesn’t.” Y/N assured the two.

“He is hot though!” Rosa said, “I mean, anyone with a functioning brain can see that he’s attractive.” She said looking to G and then shifting her attention back to Y/N.

“I mean, he’s not really my type, but yeah, he’s hot.” G accepted and then they both looked to her expectantly.

“What?” She asked and Rosa rolled her eyes, “He’s not my type either, but I guess he’s cute.” She shrugged before looking back down to her menu and then Rosa started talking about the amount of walk-ins that would try to leave him their number or get his email. Y/N had experienced that once so she was able to corroborate that story.

Y/N had been lying through her teeth because in reality Harry was exactly her type. Tall, slender, heavily tattooed, curly haired, talented, pretty and dimply-smiled, mysterious… that’s also why it was so disappointing to her that he had been such a dick to her from the get go. She had thought all of him was alluring at the start, not just his art. But his awful personality had really put her off of him. Y/N was one of those people that had a hard time looking past hurtful things. 

When you’ve been mistreated and hurt so many times it’s kind of hard to trust and give people second chances after they’ve wronged you. She wasn’t one to hold a grudge and stay upset forever, but were they not working in the same place she would have probably told him to go play on the highway and leave her alone, she didn’t need that energy in her life. But the fact that they would be around each other professionally for who knows how long pushed her to give him a second chance, it was certainly on her terms, but he at least was appreciative of that and wasn’t taking it for granted. She recalls him saying something about respecting her decision and it made her smile when she thought about him keeping his word. He had been incredibly respectful of her boundary and had not even gone near the fence to test if he could get away with more. She certainly had her reservations about him but he had been a fucking dream lately. If only he had been that way from the start…

When she tuned back into the conversation G and Rose were debating about what sushi rolls to get before asking her what she was thinking of getting, to which she replied “anything with spicy tuna” and they chuckled. Minutes they later they placed their orders and now that they were just waiting for the food to come Rosa spoke up and asked them the question that had actually been on her mind as well.

“So are you guys gonna go to Vy’s party?”

“I can’t, it’s my grandparent’s 60th wedding anniversary that same day and we’re having this huge party for it.” G said, “Otherwise I would definitely go.” He explained with a small frown.

“Are you going?” Y/N asked Rosa.

“I think so? I want to go, but as long as I know someone there. Are you?” She asked Y/N.

“I’d like to.” She shrugged, “We’ll see though.” She responded.

“I’m gonna ask her if I can bring a friend in case you don’t go. I don’t have any plans this year, so might as well! We can do some team bonding.” She said with a grin and they all nodded along. 

Usually, Y/N went to visit her parents since all of her nieces and nephews from her brother and cousins went to their neighborhood for trick or treating. It was cool to catch up with everyone then, but her parents weren’t too happy with her at the moment. It all started when they found out she was just doing some freelance design consulting and living off of her Etsy shop so that she could be a tattoo apprentice. Tensions were high and if she really gave it some thought it was upsetting for her because she’d always been one of those model children, but after moving in with her aunt to come to school in LA they felt that she had steered her down the wrong path. 

She tuned back in when the waitress swung by and announced she would soon bring out all of their plates and then Y/N informed them that she would go to the bathroom before they got started. So she excused herself and hurried into the restaurant from the lovely outdoor seating area they were in.

**************

For the first time in a long time Harry was goin on a date. Admittedly, he had been a little depressed and lonely since moving out to Los Angeles. Sure, he was cool with mostly everyone at the shop, but he wasn’t necessarily friends with them like G was with Y/N and Rosa where they could just hang out after work. He was a little on the shy side and after his whole issue with Y/N he felt that it was a little bit harder to befriend his coworkers. So he went for the next best option - he got on a dating app. He had put down that he was looking to make friends, but if he were to get a hook up out of it, that wouldn’t be too bad. 

The plan for tonight was nothing too formal, the girl he was meeting up with said she really liked this sushi place and he was a little early so he messaged her that he had grabbed a table for them. Around the ten minute mark after their set meeting time she messaged him that she was going to be a little late, which he said was fine. But now he had been waiting nearly thirty minutes and was starting to feel like an idiot. He checked his phone to see any messages from her and there was nothing so he tried sending her a message to see where she was and after a bit he got no response and he started to come to the conclusion that he had been stood up. Once again, it seemed that rejection was his new best friend. He was trying not to let it get him down, but it was really hard not to.

“Harry?” Hearing his name distracted him from his phone and glanced up to see Y/N. Of all people in this city she was stopped beside him? He was definitely paying back his karmic dues.

“Oh, hi.” He said, forcing a smile because the last thing he wanted was to get caught in this situation.

“Are you eating alone?” She asked him and glanced at the table that seemed to be set for two. There were two placemats and water cups and an unused straw across from him. His water was half drunk and the other one untouched and it seemed to have been that way for a while because the paper placemat it was set on was pretty worn down from the condensation of the glass dripping down onto it.

“No, I’m waiting for someone.” He said as he glanced down at his phone in his lap and she saw his foot tapping nervously, “She seems to be running late.” He explained with a smile, but the look in his eyes exuded sadness and disappointment.

“Oh.” She responded and she very quickly put two and two together and she felt bad for him. It seemed that they universe was at war with him and it was hard for her to see it.

“Yeah. Have you eaten here before?” He asked her and she nodded.

“Yes, it’s really good.” She smiled.

“Any recommendations?” He asked her.

“Ummm, what kind of fish do you like?” She asked and he shared what he preferred and she pointed out a few of the rolls to him on the menu and just as she was pulling back his stomach grumbled loudly and she laughed softly as did he.

“Sorry, I had a really light lunch because I tend to overeat at sushi, but I’m pretty hungry now.” He excused.

“It’s cool. Well I’m gonna go to the bathroom, but ummm, I hope it goes well.” She said and he nodded and she hurried away. 

In the time that Y/N had gone to wash her hands Harry had checked his app to see if this girl had responded to anything and then saw that she wasn’t even on his matched list anymore. She had unmatched and stood him up. He really felt the urge to cry, he was just feeling fragile and he wanted to avoid her coming by and having to witness him scurrying off in defeat. He was just quickly sliding out of the booth when he backed into someone and much to his dismay he turned around to see her there again.

“Fuck, so sorry.” He apologized sheepishly.

“It’s alright.” She assured him with a small smile.

“Change of plans.” He explained without any prompting from her, “A shame, I was really looking forward to trying that roll you showed me.” He tried to play off his embarrassment.

“Well, i-if you’re up for it you can join us? G and Rosa are here as well.” Y/N said, extending an invitation to him and he smiled and shook his head before looking to the ground with some bashfulness. She was so nice he couldn’t even look at her.

“Oh no, I don’t want to intrude on your plans.” He declined, looking back to her and she shook her head.

“You’re not! We literally agreed on this over lunch at the shop, it’s nothing spectacular.” She assured him and his eyes met hers and she could almost see a silent gratitude in them as they flickered back and forth between her eyes.

“Y-you’re sure?” He asked and she nodded with a smile.

“Of course.” She assured and he bit his lip.

“G doesn’t like me very much. What if I-”

“G’s fine.” She interrupted and he nodded, “C’mon, we’re in the patio area.” She said and he followed her out. He got a bit nervous when he saw G and Rosa laughing at the table, he was nervous of what Y/N would say to explain him crashing their dinner, “Look who I found as he was about to order some take out!” Y/N announced and both Rosa and G turned to them and smiled upon seeing Harry trailing behind her.

“Harry! Come have a seat!” Rosa said patting at the empty spot next to hers and Y/N then sat across from Harry, next to G.

“Our food should be out soon, but you can grab whatever you want, we’re all sharing.” G informed him.

“Oh, thank you.”

“I actually ordered that roll I told you about in there. You can try it and see if you like it.” Y/N offered.

“Oh sure, thanks.” He responded quietly and then she felt G tap her foot with his and she scoffed quietly. 

Harry was glad that nobody made things weird when he joined. He was just used to expecting the worst at this point, but he needed to use this as an example of things not always being as glum as he anticipated them to be. He was in a new place, with new people, maybe his old friends had given up on him, but the people around him weren’t them. If anything, these people were like his family, who no matter how hard he pushed them away or hurt them, they seemed to treat him with kindness and hold him in some sort of good regard. So instead of dwelling on his insecurities he tuned out of that part of his brain and focused on the conversation at the table. Rosa had started talking about her pet cat and how she wanted G to do a portrait of her on her shoulder. Once she showed G a photo of her hairless cat he declined doing it because it looked “too much like a ballsack” to which they all burst into laughter as Rosa pouted and threw a piece of ginger at G.

“You’re a dick!” She insulted through her chuckles, “Harry, would you be a peach and do a portrait of my cat on me?” She asked as she turned to him and he chuckled and shrugged.

“I mean, yeah, if you really wanted it, then yes.” He chuckled and she then stuck her tongue out playfully at G who just rolled his eyes.

“What’s the worst tattoo you have ever had to give someone?” G then asked Harry.

��Well, it’ll soon be Rosa’s cat…” everyone burst out laughing at his joke and Rosa playfully smacked him in the arm, “I’m kidding!” He assured her with a grin. He was over the moon with himself because the joke had landed well. He glanced over to Y/N who was still giggling too much that she still couldn’t chew her mouthful. She was so fucking cute.

“Yeah, yeah, asshole.” Rosa giggled, playfully elbowing him.

“But one time this guy wanted some pornstar’s body with a one of those horse head masks over her face… I tried to talk him out of it, but he was really set on getting it done. Two years later he came in for a coverup because his pregnant wife threatened divorce if she had to see it one more time.” He said with a chuckle and they all laughed, “What about you?” Harry asked and G sighed.

“A sexy Mrs. Potatohead.” He said and cringed, “She had like cleavage and all…and the guy’s wife was there the whole time. She really thought it was sweet of him to dedicate that to her…love makes you do stupid things, I guess.” G shrugged and they all agreed to that statement there. 

Rosa then asked Harry if he was going to Vy’s party and he said he would try to make it and Rosa expressed her excitement. And so they carried on making some conversation until it was time to go and they were waving to each other before getting into their cars and heading home. 

As Y/N settled into her bed that night her mind went back to Harry. She wondered if he was OK after getting cancelled on or stood up, whatever it was. He had been pleasant tonight, funny, charming, entertaining…it was a side of him that she hadn’t seen before and it came so easily from him. She wanted to see more of that part of him. If he had been like that from the start she would’ve been head over heels for him by now, she was certain. Nevertheless, she was glad that she had been able to do something nice for him and maybe even made him a bit happy. With that thought in mind she was smiling as she drifted off to sleep.

-------- Taglist ----------

@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @angelqueen99

[believemetheodore]

Blue Christmas

Ted Lasso x GN!Reader

I had an idea, and I cranked it out in like an hour, and now it's here! He’s with his son for Christmas, and that’s what matters most. But, while the reminder helps to settle self-disdain, it doesn’t keep the loneliness at bay. It doesn’t offer any protection from the things that go bump in the night or offer a hand to hold on the walk to work in the morning.  Warnings: mildly angsty feelings, happy ending, Henry (lmk if you want me to add anything)

The flat is dead silent without him. No shared laughter. No hooting or hollering. No real excitement. It feels selfish to want to complain about the lonely feeling that’s begun to settle in; creeping into every nook and cranny, making itself comfortable in the gaps in the floorboards, chilling the empty side of the bed. He’s back home in Kansas on a well-deserved break, visiting Henry for the holidays. 

How could anyone blame the man for wanting to spend time with his son? What’s a few weeks alone when it means that he’s happy? 

He calls every day, sometimes more than once; his voice-over speakerphone makes it possible to pretend that he’s in the room.  

He left some of his sweaters behind, and the scent of his cologne lingers. It’s tough but curled up in his clothes, it’s possible to masquerade normalcy, falling into a routine. Familiar comfort stays preserved within the apartment walls, but it’s just not home without movie nights or breakfast-for-dinner Fridays. 

He left notes scattered in the most peculiar places; in the pockets of coats, boxes of cereal, and the sock drawer. Each note it’s own kind of bittersweet; a reminder of his favourite way to spend Tuesday afternoons, a thoughtful piece of trivia, a poem he found, a terrible joke, a rambling expression of his love and gratitude. Each scrap of paper is a tug on the heartstrings, bringing on a bright smile and highlighting the void left since his departure. 

Life’s metaphorical glass feels half-full without him. Each morning is more melancholy than the last. Each night is just a tally, crossing off another day on the calendar before he returns. 

His eyes crinkle when he smiles over FaceTime. Beaming, he recounts the day he spent with Henry at a tree farm, hunting down the perfect Christmas tree to put up at mama Lasso’s house. He talks about trying to make a popcorn garland, ultimately unsuccessfully, as he and Henry did more snacking on than stringing the kernels.

It’s easy to get caught up in his joy. His enthusiasm is as infectious as ever, and when Henry joins the call, it’s clear he’s inherited his father’s natural charisma. But secondhand excitement trades places with a dreaded feeling of neediness and unwanted jealousy. A desire to be with him, to go where he goes. Together.

It’s love, but it stings in a way that only feels like guilt. He’s with his son for Christmas, and that’s what matters most. But, while the reminder helps to settle self-disdain, it doesn’t keep the loneliness at bay. It doesn’t offer any protection from the things that go bump in the night or offer a hand to hold on the walk to work in the morning. 

The holiday comes with parties, too much champagne, and opening gifts, wondering if a laptop screen can accurately display such strong and deep feelings of love in a person’s eyes. Yearning.

Henry’s gifts postmarked from London arrive shortly after the presents from his parents and Santa. He’s the sweetest boy, with the biggest heart, and it’s impossible to remain unmoved by his genuine curiosity, wonder, and his shout “thank you, thank you, thank you!” through the speaker. There’s no hesitation when it comes to agreeing that Henry should spend a few weeks in London over the summer. 

The conversation slows, with Henry running off to enjoy his new gifts and gadgets. Ted has lots to share and a lot of time to listen. It’s peaceful, But, hot chocolate doesn’t taste as sweet when there are no kisses to follow. His voice is like honey, warm and soothing when the room feels so cold. For a moment, it’s hard to believe he’s an ocean away. He’s calmer than usual, subdued and subtle. Can the crackle of a slow internet connection explain how he sounds like he’s yearning, too? 

There are no more notes to be found by the time midnight of the New Year rolls in. Marked by the sound of firecrackers and the banging of pots and pans in the street. 

Ted’s flight landed at 11:45, but it’ll be well passed 2 am by the time he makes it home. But even the desire to be awake when Ted finally walks back through the door is no match for deep-seated exhaustion. 

His hand is warm, shaking the shoulder of the one he loves. “Good morning. Happy New Year,” he’s quiet when he speaks. 

Blinking brings him into focus. “I missed you,” the confession slips out with embarrassing ease. “I missed you too”. 

Simple. Easy. Honest. “I have something to show you,” He speaks again, head tilting to gesture towards the door. He stands from his crouched position next to the bed, offering up his hand to hold.

Old floorboard creak and the walk down to the living room is punctuated by two sets of footsteps for the first time in more than a month. The room is bathed in a pale yellow glow of candlelight. The miniature Christmas tree in the corner of the room is strung with tiny string lights, blinking from red to green. A deep breath in smells like sugar and spice, and leads dazzled eyes to the plate of fresh cinnamon rolls on the coffee table. 

It feels like all of the holidays rolled into one, a display of all the devotion he hadn’t been able to paraphrase in his notes or convey through longing looks. Perfect. 

 Hair mused from travel; he’s still nothing but a heartstopper. His voice, his touch, his thoughts, his jokes, he’s just so much better in person. Every bit of him was so well missed. Laughter sounds magical when it’s shared. And kisses taste like icing sugar and cocoa. It’s all like pieces fitting back into place. Tenderness seeps back in, love filling the rooms of the flat once more. This is what home feels like. 

[imthebadguyyy]

Not sure if your request are open, but I thought I’ll give it a try x love the way you write so I hope you’ll do it.

With Daniel Ricciardo where you are on holiday (somewhere with a beach) and you were playing never have I ever with your friends, and one question was “you ever had sex on the beach?” And you drink as to say you did, but Dan doesn’t, so all your friends start teasing him, after that he’s really mad at you and doesn’t speak to you all night and just stare at you, when at the and of the night you were in your room, and had enough of they way he was treating you, you had a heated discussion, and the result of that is that he takes you to the beach and a lot of smut happens and he says “who fucks better” or “who shag you’ll remember now? Me or the other guy”

I don’t know something like that, please make it super long, super angsty and super smutty, hope it makes sense ��

A/N - The way I screamed at this request because YES oml. I hope this lives up to whatever you wanted, and thank you so much 🥺🤍 (also super smutty? You're speaking my love language)

Rendezvous

Pairing - Daniel Ricciardo x Reader (fem!littlemix!reader)

Summary - A game of never have I ever with your friends in Amalfi reveals some information about yourself that just does not sit right with Daniel. He decides to prove to you just how good he is at his job.

Warnings - smut, jealousy?, possessiveness

Dating a Formula 1 driver meant that your boyfriend was away most of the time, while you were away touring or recording with the girls. So when an opportunity like summer break came along, the two of you decided to go on a holiday to Italy with some of your friends, to take full advantage of your time together. It had been a tough year, with Daniel finding it difficult to adjust to the McLaren car, and you adjusting to not having Jesy in the band anymore. To cheer the both of you up, you had planned an eight day vacation to Italy, the Amalfi Coast in particular, along with Michael, Jade, and a few other friends.

It had been three days of sun, sand, wine, romantic sunsets and a massive Italian villa Daniel had rented for the whole time you were there. To be very honest, the whole vibe of the Italian house and beach made you want to permanently move there, but you decided to keep that conversation in mind for later. Maybe one day the two of you would end up living in a villa in Italy. But for the present, you adjusted your sunglasses on the bridge of your nose, and basked in the rays on the Sun on the golden coast of Amalfi. The boys had wanted to go out on a yacht, so you had simply rented one, and here you were on the deck, sprawled out on a lounge chair in a black bikini and yellow bikini kimono margarita in hand, while your Roman God of a boyfriend sipped beer and played a game of soccer with Michael.

Jade was lounging on the chair next to yours, in a white bikini, reading a book and sipping her champagne. When you had asked her if she wanted to go on vacation with you guys, she had immediately agreed, and the two of you had excitedly fine tuned the details of the vacation. Perrie and Leigh had wanted to come, but they had babies to look after (yes I added them just because)Bopping your head to the addictive beat of My Heart Goes by Becky Hill, you glanced over your shoulder to see where Daniel was, spotting him near the wheel with his beer, his blue patterned swim shorts complementing his extremely well toned body and his abs. Letting your eyes take in the glorious sight, your lips involuntarily ran over your lips, a short gasp leaving your mouth, earning Jade's attention almost at once.

"Enjoying ourselves are we?" her cheeky comment made you look up at her with a start. "Hell yeah I am" you replied, eyes following Daniel's movements as he raised his bottle for a sip of his drink. "Well earth to Y/N! Let's not get drool on you babe" Jade replied, smirking when you blushed. "Oh shut up. It's not my fault he looks that damn fine every single day" you mumbled, taking a sip of your green apple margarita to try and cool the sudden frustration you were feeling. "I'll give you that one hun. Well, I need a refill, I'll be back in a moment. Try not to jump your boyfriend while I'm gone" she said, earning a playful smack from you as she passed. When she had gone to the lower deck, Daniel passed the steering wheel to Michael, walking over to you, a broad grin on his face.

"Hiya doll! You having fun?" he asked, motioning for you to move and sit on his lap. "Yeah I am, the view here is to die for!" you replied with a smile, standing up so he could sit on your seat and you could sit on his lap. "The water is beautiful today" he agreed, running his fingers over the waistband of your bikini. "Yeah it is, but that wasn't the view i was talking about. The one I liked is right her" you purred in his ears, as his fingers gently moved the kimono you were wearing away from your legs. "Which view did you mean baby?" he mumbled back, lips close to your cheekbone, his warm breath hitting your cheeks. "You. Better than any beach, and any sea" you mumbled back, tilting your head back so he could rest his lips on your neck. "I'm honoured, but the real view is you my darling. Especially in that bikini, mmm, you look so gorgeous. And have I told you that you look best when you've got the most minimal of clothing on?" "You may have mentioned it" you replied, feeling goosebumps break across the surface of your skin, as his hands inched their way towards your thighs, his thumb pressing into your waist, when he tilted his lips up, pressing them to yours, his other hand reaching up to caress your neck, before tightening around you neck, his pointer sliding up to your hair. You kissed back, hands finding leverage on his body, one on his toned thigh, just on his tattoo, the other on his broad shoulder, gasping when his fingers tugged at your hair, forcing your mouth open, so he could push his tongue into your mouth. Moaning softly, he pulled you closer to him, something that seemed impossible, considering that you were already on his lap, but you moved even closer to him, moving your legs so you were straddling him, kissing back with just as much urgency, as your tongues battled for dominance.

But before you could do anything else, someone cleared their throat near you, making you pull away hastily, chest heaving, to find Jade looking at the both of you, a smirk on her lips. "Well, well, well, would you look at this! I told you not to jump him here, yet, here we are" "Oh shut up" you mumbled, burying your face in his shoulder, making him smile back at Jade. "Spoilsport. What do you want?" he asked her, moving so you were sitting sideways on his lap instead. "I came to say we're going to play Never Have I Ever, so come back down and have sex later" she said, running back away before you could say something to retaliate. Sighing, you stood up, extending your hand to Daniel, as he pulled himself up too. "Don't worry babe. I promise I'll make it up to you later, I really will" he mumbled against your ears, pressing a kiss to the outer shell of it, before leading the both of you downstairs.

⑁✧✡︎♡

Settling down in a circle, your group of seven pulled out bottles of chilled beer, as you settled in front of Daniel, your back pressed to his front. "I'll go first" Michael piped up, smirking.

"Never have i ever gone skinny dipping" he asked, earning a chorus of "oohs" and "good one" from your group of friends. Exchanging a glance with Jade, the both of you raised your bottles to your lips, sipping the cold beer.

"You've gone skinny dipping?" Michael asked you in shock, not expecting you and Jade to have been so bold. "Yeah we did, during tour actually. Dont blame, blame Don Julio" you replied.

"Alright, never have i ever thought a friend's baby was ugly" Daniel chimed in, making you laugh and shake your head. Much to your surprise, everyone except yourself and Daniel.

"You guys really are bitches" he murmured from behind you, tracing a pattern onto your exposed skin.

"Oh fuck off mate" Michael replied, before Jade intervened. "I have a good one, never have i ever had sex on a beach"

Her sentence was met with smirks and curious looks, everyone's jaws dropping when you took a sip of your drink, flushing at the surprised stares. "Y/N, you've had sex on the beach?" Jade asked, shock written on every inch of her face. "Yeah baby, you've had sex on the beach?" Daniel asked, voice slightly lower than usual.

"Well, um, yeah, in a way i guess. But it doesn't really count because the guy was such a mess and i don't think he had any idea what he was doing, and i really don't think it counts. Whose next?" You answered in a rush, feeling your boyfriend tense up behind you.

"Wow Daniel, looks like you missed your chance" one of his friends chimed in, missing the strained note in Daniel's laugh. You didn't.

For the rest of the game, Daniel remained extraordinarily silent, asking a few more questions and taking occasional sips of his beer, but he was quiet, and that was odd in itself.

After about half an hour, it was decided it was getting slightly chilly and it was probably best to go back to the house. Following Daniel to the top deck, you watched as he turned to face the waters, back towards you, muscles tense and taught.

"Is everything okay?" You asked, nervously fiddling with your fingers. "Mmhmm" was his reply. Frowning slightly, you walked forward, gently touching his arm. To your surprise he drew back, walking to the left side of the yacht, leaning on the railing, eyes locked on yours, a strangely intense look in his eyes.

"Was it that stupid question?" You asked, the answer suddenly clicking in your mind. "You bet your ass it was" he growled, the tone of his voice sending goosebumps shooting through your body. "It was just a stupid question, and i already told you, it was a bad experience! Are you jealous of a guy who never made me even feel good?!" You asked, voice raising slightly.

"Yes i'm jealous. The very thought of another man touching you, let alone naked, makes me want to break something, and now i find out you've had sex on a beach, and i know you've had ex boyfriends but it doesn't make it any less infuriating. Only i can touch you, only i can make you feel good" he growled, eyes darkening when you whimpered softly.

Sauntering forward, he grabbed you by the waist, pulling you into him and yanking your head back. "Only i can touch you here" he mumbled, tracing your neck, "and here", he continued, tracing your collarbone and moving towards your chest, "and here" he continued, rubbing your breasts through the material of your bikini, making you moan softly above him, as he continued to trace lower, tracing your stomach and thighs.

"And most importantly, only I can touch you here" he growled, hand sliding down into your bikini bottoms, cupping your pussy, earning a gasp from your lips. Slamming his lips down to yours, he slid his middle finger along your slit, feeling your wetness grown on his finger, before shoving his tongue into your mouth, and pushing his middle finger into you.

Moaning, your hips involuntarily jerked upwards, a moan of desperation leaving your lips when he pulled his finger out of your pussy and sucking on it, eyes still looking deep into yours.

"Please" you whispered, feeling the wet patch grow in your bikini, mind fuzzy and slow, pussy throbbing at the sight of Daniel sucking your juices off of his finger.

"Please what?" He asked, leaning back against the railing, looking at you expectantly.

"Please, just touch me" you whispered, feeling your arousal dripping down your leg.

"Not now sweetheart. We're gonna wait till we're back home, and then i'll take you to the beach, and i'll fuck you so good you'll forget that you even had sex on the beach with someone else before me"

☾⑁✧✡︎♡

The yacht trip back was tense, as you sat beside Jade, foot bouncing in anticipation, while Daniel sat with Michael, occasionally throwing a look your way that had you squirming. Brushing off Jade's concern, you forced a smile onto your face and took a shaky sip of your cocktail, feeling your heart rate increase when Daniel walked by you, hand brushing against the wet spot in your bikini.

When you guys reached the shore, the both of you bid your goodbyes to your friends, and walked up to your room, the tension palpable.

Pulling off your sundress, he pressed his lips to his neck, licking all over the exposed skin, before sinking his teeth down into the spot where your neck and shoulder met.

Sucking a dark hickey onto your neck, he picked up the discarded dress and caught your wrist in a tight grip, mumbling a soft "come on", and leading you down the stairs, sliding out the back door.

Inhaling the smell of the salty air, your lower lip quivered in anticipation of what was to come. Leading you to a secluded spot on the beach, he slammed his lips to yours, dropping the dress in his hands onto the sand, forcing your head up with his hands. "You shouldn't have gotten your nails to look so pretty today baby, they're gonna be ruined when you scratch them down my back" he groaned, pushing you down onto the dress he had layed out. Shedding the tank top he had pulled on, he sunk down onto his knees.

Kissing your neck again, he continued sucking the skin, creating a sort of pattern onto your skin, hand reaching around you to unhook your bikini top, dropping it next to you, capturing your nipple in his mouth, sucking the sensitive bud while he fondled with the other one.

Your moans of "oh, oh my god, oh fuck Daniel" were lost in the breeze that was picking up softly. Kissing lower, he let his tongue circle your belly button, smirking when goosebumps broke out on your skin.

Leaning down lower, he inhaled the scent of your arousal, moaning as his cock hardened against his swim trunks.

"You smell fucking delicious my love, can't wait to taste you"

Moaning at his words, you felt your breath temporarily being snatched from your body when his tongue prodded your entrance, running a finger up and down your slit, his beard brushing against your thighs, the burning sensation making you feel lightheaded.

Pushing his middle finger into your slit, he groaned at the wetness collecting on his finger, your warm walls clenching on his finger, as he pushed his ring finger in as well, the cold metal of his 'lets fuck' ring pressing against your walls, a broken moan of "Dan!" leaving your bruised lips.

He moved his fingers up and down, before switching to a scissoring motion, making you see stars as he let his thumb press down on your clit. Panting, you let out a "fuck! fuck daniel, oh shit don't stop!" whimpering when he groaned against you, the vibrations adding to the intense pleasure gradually coursing through your body.

Replacing his thumb with his tongue on your clit, he sucked the bundle of nerves onto his tongue, as he let his lips enclose around the bud, sucking on your clit, "oh fuck! fuck! fuck dont stop! Oh my god that feels so good oh-" your moans spurring him on as the knot in your tummy tightened, the pleasure intensifying when he grabbed your clit in between his teeth, letting it rest in between his teeth, before flicking it with his tongue.

"Fuck fuck fuck... please" you can't help but beg, even if you know he’s gonna give it to you either way because he never broke his promises of delivering to you endless pleasure "let it go, my love, cum for me" he mumbled, biting your clit gently, you slowly released onto his tongue with a throaty scream of his name. His fingers slow down but guide you through the pleasure wave, lips leaving soft kisses on your sore pussy.

"Such a good girl for me, hmm?" he mumbled, leaning up to capture your swollen lips in a heated kiss, but not before you caught a glimpse of his lips shimmering with your juices.

Moaning at the taste of you on his tongue, you bit down on his lower lip, finding stability on his broad shoulders.

Whispering a soft "please" you looked into his eyes, your desperation for him to just fill you up taking over your body at an alarming rate, clouding your senses and leaving you almost numb to anything but the pleasure Daniel gave you.

"Want me to fuck you like the bratty slut you are?" Daniel asked, lifting your chin with his pointer, knowing full well your mind was too far gone to form a proper response.

"Yes.." the soft whisper was all he needed to slip out of his colourful swim trunks, lips meeting yours in a kiss, before growling"i'm gonna fuck you till you're so far gone you won't even remember your own name"

He smirked against the skin of your chest, your heart doing a little jump in anticipation. Your mouth dropped wide open when Daniel delivered a rough thrust and pushed into you, a gasp of surprise leaving your lips. Grabbing both of your legs, he pushed them over his shoulders. Before you could process the tingles of pleasure that were beginning to take over your body, Daniel started off rough, hips slamming into yours earning a flurry of moans and groans of his name from your lips, the crown of his cock repeatedly hitting that spot in you that made you clench around him harder and harder.

Your nails scratched along his back, his previous comment ringing in your mind as he dropped his neck into the crook of your neck, his god forsaken beard adding to the realms of pleasure Daniel took you to. His teeth sank in the soft skin where your neck met your shoulders and he sucked on it, roughly. A series of "oh fuck, fuck daniel, oh my god don't stop please!" left your lips like a mantra, your pussy repeatedly clenching down on his cock.

“Do you like that baby? tell me, baby, i wanna know how fucking good i'm making you feel. Did he make you feel this good when he fucked you on a beach?” He growled against the skin of your neck while leaning a little back to look at you. You could barely hear him, an odd ringing in your ears, eyes screwed shut while your legs started to give in and shake. "Tell me darling, who fucks you better? Who will you remember wrecking you on the beach, me or that guy?" he growled, delivering a slap to your ass. His smirk only grew when you muttered incoherent strings of "you, only you Daniel, only you fuck me this good" as a response, not able to think straight. Raising himself slightly, he settled back on his knees, temporarily slowing down the speed of his thrusts.

“Oh fuck, Daniel! you moaned, spurring him on. Having you all spread for him, fucking you like there was no tomorrow and making you feel the way you were feeling was the biggest turn on for the Aussie man, groaning as he thrusted faster. Although he knew that only he could make you feel that good, take you to that special corner in heaven, the thought of your stupid ex made him want to remind of you that very fact.

"Dan, Danny, please" you moaned, when his tattooed hand reached your nipple and tugged harshly. They were both very sensitive to the touch, and you couldnt bring yourself to stop him because the pleasure was so good, and he was so good at pleasing you by touching you in the right places. Smirking, he pinched the sensitive nub between his fingers before lowering his torso and taking it into his mouth, looking right into your eyes as he sucked on it,making a big show of moaning around it, the vibrations on the overly sensitive bud making you scream. Enclosing your nipple in his teeth, they grazed at the sensitive skin and you gasped, scratching the skin of his back even harder, hearing him groan.

“come on baby, come for me" he mumbled, before moving back to knees and thrusting in harder a couple more times. Your back arched and you held onto his broad shoulders for leverage and stability, before the wave of pleasure washed over you as he followed by releasing into you with a deep groan of your name a couple of seconds after. Your legs remained loosely wrapped around his waist as he kissed your cheeks and lips, too tired to move, as he gently pulled out of you.

Lying down next to you, body partially on the golden sand, Daniel turned to you, before saying"so now you've really had sex on the beach" earning a breathy laugh and a punch on the shoulder from you, the proud smirk on his face growing.

"Oh shut up" you mumbled, looking up at the sky, still in a state of post orgasmic bliss.

"Bless Jade for asking that question, best sex of my life" daniel said, earning another short cackle from you. "Are you saying sex isn't great with me otherwise?" You asked, a teasing glint in your eyes.

"Oh hell no, sex is always great with you" he smirked back, rolling back on top of you.

"Want me to prove it again?"

"Daniel, i'm going to bed, or we'll both get sand in places there's never supposed to be any in" you mumbled, standing up on shaky legs.

"Careful baby, can't have you falling and injuring yourself" daniel said, reaching forward to scoop you up in his arms.

"Well one thing's for sure" you muttered later that night, curled up in bed. "Whats that?" Daniel asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes. "We should always plays never have i ever"

☾⑁✧✡︎♡

a/n - omg im so sorry this took so long!! i really hope you like it. thank you for reading, feedback and comments are always appreciated !! 🤍🤍

tags - @maxverstappenx

a/n - if you want to be tagged for a fic, lemme know!

[clintbartonswife]

tender but tough

Pairings: Wade Wilson x Peter Parker Summary: Ever since Vanessa, Wade had been scorned from even a friendly shoulder touch even when he was in the suit. Peter realises this. Whumptober no.6: touch and go Notes: touch starved wade, college!peter parker, not as angsty, but the whump’s there. masterlist

Watching Wade Wilson was a pastime that Peter had come to love. 

Ever since meeting him a few weeks ago, he had been drawn to the man, watching from afar as he tried to work up the courage to speak to him once more.

Upon spying (Ned had called it stalking but he had quickly stated that he didn't seek the masked man out, instead only watching him when he naturally came across him in the city. The word was quickly changed to ‘pool spotting’, and Peter had grudgingly complied.) on Wade, he had managed to come to three conclusions.

Number one: Wade Wilson was a creature of habit. Despite his seemingly erratic movements, he would always buy food from the same three places - if he didn’t already have a pre-cooked meal in his hello kitty lunchbox. Peter had at first wondered if that meant that Wade had someone at home who cooked for him, but after a very loud conversation on a roof with someone called ‘yellow’ and ‘white’, knew for certain that he was “painfully alone and in desperate need of a quick fuck or someone to hold”. He especially loved his Mexican food, often returning to his favourite roof top with two bulging bags of of the stuff.

Number two: Wade kills, and he does it a concerning amount. Normally, whenever Peter was on his pool spotting expeditions and he saw him getting his katanas out (he had once heard him call them Bea and Arthur), he would swing by, web up the bad guy, and swing away while shouting some different iteration of ‘don’t kill him, please!’. He would later hear people talking about others Deadpool had killed once he had gone home, though the webbed ones were never touched. Peter prided himself on his very anti-killing stance, but something about Wade made him curious - enough to put his moral code on the backburner and instead feel the need to help him change for the better.

Number three, and arguably the most important: He had never seen anyone touch him. Sure, people had thrown punches, violently approached him, but never once had he seen anyone touch him with anything less than hate. This is what finally convinced Peter to approach him.

“Hey Webs”

Wade was sat with his legs overhanging the roof of the building, mask half pulled up over his face and a burrito halfway to his mouth. 

Peter took a deep breath before he spoke, settling his nerves, “Hi Wade.”

“Aaah, he speaks! How are you doing baby boy.”

Peter flushed at the nickname, face heating up under his mask, “Uhh -”

Wade let out a laugh, placing his burrito down and pulling his mask back over his face before turning to face him, “Well, he tries to speak.” Wade tilted his head to the side slightly, patting the surface next to him, waiting until Peter sat beside him, “I’ve been seeing you around a lot, but we haven’t really spoken since the last - no Yellow I’m not trying to guilt him - shut up White.”

Peter just looked at him.

“Sorry - it’s the boxes-” Deadpool said, with a strong jersey accent, waving his hands around his head animatedly, “You wouldn’t get that reference, shame. I love Margot Robbie.”

“Who?”

“Oh, Webs” Deadpool sighed, patting his masked cheek condescendingly, “The world of joy you’re missing out on.”

That’s another thing that Peter found out after hanging out around Deadpool for a few months - he would instigate touch, but shy away whenever Peter would go to return it, shrugging it off with a quick joke or pun.

-

It was on the third month of knowing Deadpool that Peter decided he would address it. The two of them had become extremely close, and Peter had found himself trusting the older man quicker than he ever had before. It was only one day at Stark tower during a quick drop-in visit to see Tony, that the billionaire had pointed out how quickly Peter had become comfortable with him.

“Webs, webs, webs. To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today?”

Peter smiled, sitting cross-legged beside Wade as he unloaded the two bags of Mexican food. “Just wanted to see your gorgeous face, as always.”

“Always a charmer - and a beautiful liar at that.”

“How do you know I’m beautiful? For all you know I could look like a troll under this mask and you’d never know.”

Wade’s mask warped as he raised his eyebrow, “With an ass that phat? Baby boy, you’re nothing short of an angel.”

He wouldn’t know why he had done this until many years after the fact, looking back in hindsight. Peter had let out a small laugh, and ripped his mask of with a grin, “Well damn Wade, someone would think that you’re sweet talking me.”

Wade went quiet - something Peter had never known him to be - and sat back heavily. At the silence, the younger man’s smile dropped slightly, turning more nervous, “Is this a case of ‘if you’ve got nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all’ type-a deal?”

“No.” the answer was so fast that Peter let a nervous laugh escape, “You’re - you look better than every wet dream I’ve had about you combined.”

Peter laughed loudly at that, relief making his head feel slightly woozy, raking his hands through his curly hair. 

“I’m not kidding - I mean I knew your body was good - but your face! ” Wade’s voice was higher than it normally was, disbelief clear in his tone, “You gotta body of a stripper and face of an angel, y’know that?”

“Wade-”

“And you blush pretty too, it’s like god took every one of my dirty fantasies -” Wade’s rant was cut off as Peter placed a hand on his shoulder, eyes widening at the soft touch, “Webs -?”

“Peter,” he smiled, moving his free hand to slowly start removing his mask, “My name’s Peter.”

Wade repeated it like a prayer, so distracted by the feel of the letters on his lips that he didn’t even move to stop the action. Peter let his finger brush against the textured skin of his cheek, Wade going completely still at the contact.

“Pete... what are you doing?”

He just smiled, moving his other hand to cup the other side of his cheek as he lifted the mask all of the way off. “Beautiful.” The one word seemed to strike Wade at his core, the man melting in to his hand before coming to his senses and pulling back slightly. 

“You are,” he insisted, “fuck anyone who says anything else.”

“Oooh, little spidey used the f-word.”

Peter shot him an unimpressed look, “Wade.”

The mercenary just huffed, seemingly losing the internal battle against himself and the boxes as he let himself relax in to Peter’s hands once more. The younger man just watched as Wade’s body seemed to completely loosen, as if he was crumbling right before his eyes. 

As if on delayed time, Wade’s eyes began to water, “I - I don’t know why-”

“It’s ok, Wade,” Peter said, instantly moving closer and enveloping him in a hug, taking the full weight as he relaxed completely into the hold, “It’s ok.”

Peter just held him as he felt the merc’s tears wetting the front of his suit, slowly moving his hand up and down Wade’s back. The rhythmic motion seemed to lull both of them into a comfortable silence, one which was only broken by the sharp sudden breaths of the man in his arms.

Wade had been quiet for too long, eventually pulling slightly back from the hug but taking great care to keep contact, “If you can make me this weak with a hug, I cant wait for when you finally take me home and bang me into next year.”

“Wade!”

Sniggering, Wade leaned back into the hold, burying his face in Peter’s neck, “Well if you’re offering, I’m sure gonna make the most of it, Webs.”

[simpcxty]

You said you needed ideas so hear me out-

Sfw- trans! Reader (ftm) with Tsukishima who gives tough love and hates it when you have really bad dysphoria days. Snaps at anyone who misgenders you.

NSFW- oikawa would be such a tease when you get needy and shit. Like this fucker would tease you after you beg because he told you to beg.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You have given me brain fuel, and for that. I love you 🧡

I have never written something in one day. Thank you, you have truly inspired me 😩👏

TW for Tsukishima: deadnaming and misgendering, deadname is your choice, but Y/n will be for your new name and Y/d/n for your dead name because no dads are mentioned here. Gets a little angsty but they figure it out.

I didn’t want to be disrespectful to anyone and choose a name that might be someone’s new name or dead name.

Also I’m sorry if my writing isn’t accurate for a ftm character. I did my best and I really hope you like it!

I did my best with the tough love but it does get a bit fluffy tbh.

Kei Tsukishima

Kei always tries.

He really does. You guys had started dating before you came out, and the switch from your dead name to Y/n had him caught off guard.

So did the sudden shift of pronouns.

But he didn’t leave, so he was trying to do his best all right?

But he’s already bad with emotions, these are a different kind that he doesn’t even know how to approach.

So he gives it the same energy he does with everything else.

Today though.

Something was very odd about today.

His normal words had you flashing him your best fake smile and turning away from him.

And trust me, he could tell the difference.

But for now, he chose not to comment.

Will it be one of those days today?

You didn’t like to talk about your Dysphoria but Kei always picked up on it.

Or at least he tried to.

He even had a custom made chest binder coming in the mail that should be here any day now.

But when you leave the room after Kei’s not incorrect but painfully blunt statement went straight to your very soul.

He replays the conversation in his head to see where he messed up.

He found himself doing that a lot.

‘I get that you’re trying Kei. It just sucks that other people don’t even bother.’

‘I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. They’re stupid people who don’t even matter at least I’m trying. Imagine if I wasn’t?’

It made you question everything.

Did he even want to be trying?

Why are you being a nuisance?

Why are you putting him through this. He’s got much more important things to be focusing on as a senior in college this year.

You’re finally being true to yourself and putting him through unnecessary stress aren’t you? What is wrong with you?

All of these thoughts and more swarmed your head as you leaned against the bathroom counter trying to catch your breathing.

Stop it. Stop being such a big crybaby.

Kei Tsukishima doesn’t need a crybaby.

Why does it have to hurt so damn bad to just be a girl? He’d like you so much more as a girl.

“Y/n..?” His voice sounds so tired.

Damn it Y/n. Get your fucking shit together.

“Please talk to me.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that babe.. I just-“ his eyes almost seem dull when you open the door, only to brighten when you open the door and he gets a good view of you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that, I just- I don’t, I don’t know how to handle this sometimes, but I don’t want you to think I don’t care. It’s just new, and I can get adjusted-“ he feels his heart clench a bit when your next words come out.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t just stay who I was, I’m sorry I couldn’t just be a girl for-“ and he’s grabbing your face with his palms as tears start to well up in his eyes.

“Shut up. Shut up, because I love you however I can have you. I love you. I just want you, please don’t get confused and think I have a preference because I just want you Y/n. I love you, no matter who you are. Please don’t forget that.” The tears streaming down your face slow as he kisses your head and wraps his arms around you.

“Im sorry Kei.” He kisses your head again.

“Shh, stop it. Stop apologizing. You have nothing to apologize for babe, we do need to finish getting ready for class though okay?” You nod and he smiles.

———

When you get to school, he can almost feel the anxiety wafting from you.

But he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm around you and pull you along with him.

“You have me, okay? I’m just as much yours as you are mine babe.” You nod and expect him to pull him arm away, and he does, only to entangle his hand in yours.

“Tsukishima!” No- because he recognizes that annoyingly high pitched voice, and he’s not in the mood for it. Nor will you be.

So he picks up speed. Keeping his hand tight around yours and pulling you in front of him, only to wrap his arms around you slightly and speed up even more.

“Kei what are you doing?” You think he’s going to ignore you until he speaks up finally.

“Don’t want to deal with her.”

“Y/d/n can you-“ he stops right in his tracks and turns around to acknowledge the blonde.

“Alisa is it? See how easy was that? I wasn’t even sure. You know for a fact that isn’t the proper name that he goes by. So correct yourself, or don’t talk to my boyfriend or me. Got it?” She goes to speak again but Tsukishima already has you two walking again and his ears are flushed.

“Tsuki-?” You’re blushing and he tightens his grip on your waist.

“It wasn’t right, I’ll correct anyone who gets it wrong. Even myself.” You smiled and he manages to crack a small one.

Kei Tsukishima always tries.

———————————————————————

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD

I didn’t know if you still wanted a ftm character so this one is just written female.

READ RESPONSIBLY PLEASE

Characters aged up 18+

“Beg.” You scoffed.

“I don’t beg.” Your hips are rising as he pressed his thumb harder against your clit and you whimper.

“I won’t do anything more until you beg.” You rolled your eyes and attempt to sit up. Only for him to wrap a hand around your throat and push you back down.

“Toru, I don’t beg-“ he tightens his grip around your throat and you whine.

“I said, beg.” The way he demands it in your ear has your thighs attempting to clam shut.

Key word, attempting.

“Are you gonna listen to a single thing I say princess? Or am I gonna have to leave you here like this?” You looked up at him desperately and his grip around your neck loosens a bit.

“Please, please just fuck me already. I need it Toru, it’s been too long please just do it already-“ you’re cut off with whines as his tip prods at your entrance, but the pressure on your clit is still hard and you know he’s waiting for more.

“Please! Please fuck me! I need you Toru please!” He chuckles and pushes in agonizingly slowly.

“Like you said babe, it’s been too long. I need to go easy on your pretty pussy.” You whine at that.

“Don’t want you to go easy- just fuck me rough please!” Tears of frustration pool in your eyes and he laughs.

“Awe, don’t cry princess, I’ll give you what you want. You begged so nicely.” The sudden snap of his hips has you unable to respond to his taunt.

Yeah so what you begged. You’re getting dicked down by this god of a man. I’d say that’s a win.

His hands were both on your hips now as he thrusted into as if his life depended on it.

“Missed you so much.” He whines and a particularly hard thrust has you reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck.

The new position has you sliding down on his dick so much easier, and the way he can just lift you up and down quickly has him whining more.

“M’gonna cum. Off.” He whimpers as you tighten and start to lift yourself off and grabs your hips. He’s never cum so fast but you don’t mind.

“T-Toru-!” He gasps as you tighten more and his hips thrust up desperately.

“Nevermind, I wanna cum inside. Please, please let me cum inside. You feel so good, just wanna cum inside your warm pussy hnngh~ please!” His hips are starting to falter and you know he’s getting closer as his hands tighten around your waist, lifting you up and down to meet with his sloppy thrusts.

“Please!” He’s begging and you almost laugh.

“Oh god please, just wanna cream inside you please!” He has to stop thrusting and you’d almost think he did cum.

But you knew better. His nails digging into your hips and his ragged breathing against your neck has you melting.

“Did you even really have to ask? Just cum babe.” Your words are so nonchalant that he’s whining and picking up his thrusts again.

“fuckfuckfuckohfuckyes” his voice is messy and it’s almost gibberish.

But as you tighten around him and his hips falter he’s moaning and whimpering into your chest and neck.

“So tight, ngHh shit~” he moans whorishly as you cum around him and cum spurts out of him and into you.

“You fuck me so good. So so good Y/n.” His hips are still sputtering and you’re wondering just how long it’s been since he’s actually gotten off.

“Thank you, Thank you so fucking much baby.” His cum is already spilling out of you and he’s still finishing.

This’ll be a fun cleanup.

He finally lays you down on the bed and lays his head in between the valley on your chest as he catches his breath.

“You begged.” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer, making you whimper while he stays inside of you.

“Do I need to remind you how you sounded when you wanted to cum Toru?” His head shoots up at that and his cheeks flush.

“But you’re so warm. So tight and comfy. I didn’t and still don’t want to leave.” He whines and wiggles his hips upward and you whimper. You can’t help but clench as he thrusts up again and whines again.

He keeps up the occasional thrusts. Neither of you have the energy for a second round. That much is obvious. But the bliss is overwhelming.

“Don’t want to pull out yet. Please don’t make me.” He whines and you just clench around him to tease.

“Fuck. Don’t do that. M’still hard and I’m ninety percent sure if you keep doing that I’m gonna stuff your already full pussy again.” You hummed and he wraps his arms around you.

“Empty threats. We’re both too tired, you know we’ll just go again when we wake up.”

“I’m gonna get you pregnant.” He says it confidently, you couldn’t even laugh at the statement. Because he probably and most definitely will.

“I mean if that’s what you want, I wouldn’t mind having a little Oikawa running around.” Almost all his stamina is back in that moment.

Congratulations you have unlocked

Breeding King with Toru Oikawa 🔓

Neither of you ended up sleeping that night.

[chipper-asks]

Any tips on how to grow your own blog by chance?

Aah man I've written a response to this kind of question many times but I always delete it because I'm afraid of coming off as self centered or arrogant, but I definitely have some tips on what works and doesn't work (on tumblr.)

I will say that I never believed I would get to the "Big Fandom Artist" stage. I've seen people drop my name in conversations or descriptions and just assume other people know who I am and that's still incredibly wild to me. I never really pushed to get a big blog it really just happened.

But! I do have rules and personal guidelines that might help if you are thinking of actively building your blog!

1: Keep personal information and vent posts to a minimum

It should go without saying that its not a good thing for your personal information to be on the internet. Once its out there its near impossible to erase. This is for your own safety.

Vent posts give out more information than you might think, but also some people who are following you may be going through difficult times themselves. I go on the internet to get away from my stressors and problems and i've specifically catered my dashboard to reflect my desires. I have no doubt others are the same.

I've unfollowed mutuals because they vented too frequently. I enjoyed what they made! But it stressed me out to read their vent posts because I couldn't help. I realized it was taking a toll on my mental health and I made the tough decision to unfollow.

It is very tempting to vagueblog because its nice getting out all the angry feelings, but a blog with thousands of people following it is not the place to do it.

2: Shitpost vs Quality Foley

I could go into a massive essay on this alone (ive even written out an outline already) but i'll keep it as brief as I can.

Throughout my time on Tumblr I’ve seen a number of posts of artists complaining about the lack of notes on their serious work compared to the abundance of notes on their shitposts.

This is because Tumblr IS a place of shitposts. It's like squeezing a clown nose and expecting it not to honk.

However! It's more complicated than that and i've broken it up into four parts organized by importance.

A. Relevance/Meta: Is it something that people are already familiar with? Is it something that's currently going on?

People want to enjoy things they're already familiar with. For example, people getting into Hollow Knight are more likely to follow a blog that posts HK content regularly over a HK blog that posted a picture of Grimm once and then is full of original content. It's not that people don't like your original stuff, its just not what they're looking for.

If you like striking while the iron is hot, meta jokes are the way to go. Making references to games like Among Us during the height of its popularity for example would get you lots of notes.

B. Hilarity

Is it funny? Does it subvert expectations?

Shitposts will always be more popular than a well drawn post. People like to laugh and share things that laugh. A cool, well drawn post is more often than not met with a "hm, cool. scrolls down."

This is a polished comic I made 10 months ago. I'm very proud of it and i'm pleased with the amount of attention it got. It took me 2 days to finish.

This is a shitpost I made 3 years ago that I still haven't been able to top. It took me 30 minutes to make.

That's not to say a well drawn post can get popular! It's just that people enjoy a good laugh over something shiny. This is a factor of knowing your audience. Some things land better than others and you'll be better off if you just roll with what you get.

I will say tho I appreciate the people who reblog my oc posts 200x more than people who reblog my shitposts and fanart. Those are quality followers and you must cherish them.

C. Appeal

Is it cute? Is it fluffy? Is the design easy to understand? Does it make people emotional? Is it angsty? Is it relatable?

People like cute shit. People like things that make them hurt (albeit not too much). People like things that they can see themselves in.

D. Skill

There is some merit in being good at what you do. People do like funny things more than shiny things, but shiny things are cool too.

If you post things that are funny? You're normal horoscopes.

If you post things that are well drawn? (its really telling that I can't think of someone right off the top of my head)

If you post things that are funny AND well drawn? Well then you're iguanamouth

3: Know your boundaries.

There's a difference between being understanding/tagging things correctly and catering to people who want you to be someone else.

I know that many people get upset with others who gender the vessels in Hollow Knight. While it doesn't bother me, I can recognize the misgendering of vessels as a source of dysphoria and I tag accordingly.

If someone comes into my inbox and tells me to stop drawing a character because they're "problematic," I'm just going to block them and go about my day.

4: This is your blog, its your rules.

I'm apologetically myself on my blog. I post what I want and what inspires me. The reason why I have so many AUs is because its my blog and I like AUs. If a large portion of the fandom doesn't like my AUs, its their loss, I make great AUs.

In fact, its just a good mindset in general to have. If some people don't like what you make, its not your problem. It makes you happy and it makes hundreds of others happy then continue to do what you do. It's impossible to have a large following and not have someone who dislikes you purely out of spite.

Make stuff for yourself, not because you want numbers.

5: Don't feed the trolls.

If someone sends you hate, take a picture of it, share it with your friends, laugh, block the person, delete message, move on with your life.

It's really fun to feed the trolls, but feeding trolls attracts more trolls and soon its not fun anymore. Just laugh when you get your first anon hate, maybe frame it in your room, and don't even acknowledge them with a "fuck you."

6: Recognize your position.

This is more advice for when you do get a big blog. You get to a point when you realize you have a portion of your audience who value much more than a regular human being and are willing to take up arms for you.

Do. Not. Weaponize. Your audience.

It's incredibly shitty and can ruin peoples lives.

7: Post Frequency/Schedule

Now this is one I can't do. It's normal for me to become incredibly active for 2 weeks and then end up posting nothing for a month. I don't have the patience to build up a queue of new things.

However! If you have more discipline than me, posting daily or twice a week builds up anticipation for your next post. You're dependable and people have the chance to look forward to seeing something from you on their dash on Friday.

Thats all I can think of so far.

There's no TL;DR you'll miss my important advice within these tips.

[ciggylungz]

Mark My Territory

Blurb night: 3.2k

(Request:harry and y/n having yatch sex and blurry pap pics get out ***) + (request: Jealous possessive Harry angsty/angry smut !!! Plsss hehe thank you ❤️)

Warnings: face spitting, painal, dominant Harry, pain kink, humiliation kink, degrading talk, mentions of other fetishes and lots of hardcore brutal smut with an appetizer of angst

-

Harry has always been depicted as a ‘womanizer’ , a lady killer and all other words for it, yet the people who actually have dated him know truly he’s a romantic. He isn’t a man who only flirts to get his cock sucked then leaves, he’s not a serial cheater or big ladies man. He’s truly a deeply caring, loving man and Y/n was lucky enough to be his and experience that. Yet she couldn’t deny, if Harry had one flaw within relationships it was his undeniable jealousy that could worm it’s way into his mind when he felt someone was getting a little too friendly with his girl. The man was protective and admittedly a bit possessive of his girlfriends, and while it could be appropriate at times it also could be a argument starter at other, however to y/n- angry, possessive Harry was more sexy than scary. Sometimes she may or may not bite back when he tells her who she belongs to, who’s boss and maybe, just maybe she does it to see him get riled up and take the extra step to show her that she belongs to him.

--

Right now Y/n has found herself in possessive Harry’s fit, they were on a little get away vacation and currently on a Yacht sailing on Jamaican waters. It was beautiful and peaceful, yet tempers rose when Harry thought the man who delivered the booze for the bar was getting a bit too cheeky with his girl.

Y/n though didn’t really notice his behavior as flirty, so it wasn’t like she was reciprocating it in the slightest but she may or may not be pushing a few of Harry’s buttons to see him get all bossy and protective over her. usually that ends with good rough sex, sloppy, dirty and so fucking hot.

“Harry! It’s not a big fucking deal why are you so mad?! He’s not even here anymore! I didn’t pay attention it’s not like when he tried to get cheeky I whipped my tits out for him. God you’re being annoying.” She was putting her sassy bratty act on, one she knew often didn’t end well for her- or rather her windpipe and cervix- both of which typically end up bruised and sore from his hand wrapped around her throat and his cock purposely smashing into it just because he knows how bad it can hurt- and bad girls need to be punished. Sometimes punishment hurts.

“Don’t talk back to me Y/n. The dude was practically eye fucking you, and you didn’t stop it! And showing him your tits? Really? You mentioning exposing yourself, why? Were you thinkin’ about doing it? That top barely cover’s yeh so how do I know you weren’t tryin’ to sneak him an eye full when my back was turned?”  his tone was daring, deep and serious. He wasn’t playing around, he was like a dog protecting his territory. When he saw Y/n roll her eyes he marched towards her, his body towered over hers and his glare was threatening. The girl stood her ground though, wanting to see just how far she could push it.

“Oh shut up! You act like I dropped to my knees for that guy! Harry do you hear yourself? The man was like 70! If laying his eyes on a pretty young woman made his day, then I don’t care. It’s not like I was handing the geezer Viagra so he could get it up for me when you were in another room. Shut the fuck up already, I want to enjoy myself.”

She flipped him off before hopping into the pool, letting her entire body submerge to try and cool off her frustrated body. She didn’t have the patience for his tough guy act right now, he was being ridiculous.

When she made it back to the surface of the water she swam towards the railing on the side of the pool, leaning her body against the glass while she floated in the water, her peaceful swim was soon interrupted by a body forcing hers to turn around. Harry was standing in the pool, chest to chest with his girlfriend and he was not fucking happy with her. His eyebrows raised while he pinched her chin between his fore finger and thumb forcing her to look back at him.

“You think that little attitude you pulled back there was cute? Let me give yeh a little refresher since you seem to have forgotten important information.”

She then felt his free hand grope her left breast, roughly so the pain forced her to notice the area and pay attention to the body part-

“These tits, belong to me. No one else should be able to get a good view at them, it seems you’ve forgotten that. And this-“ the man brought his hand up to cradle the back of her head, tugging her hair harshly before continuing “- head, should only be thinking about my fucking cock. The thought of another guys prick, no matter if they’re an old creep like him, should never be inside that pretty little head of yours. You use that pretty brain to think about me. That pretty face is for me to look at, kiss, fuck and use as my cum rag. Or have you forgotten that as well?” when she only answered with big doe eyes getting into her submissive state under his spell of filth he took an opportunity to yank her locks yet again and raise an eyebrow. “You gonna answer me, or are you going to keep lookin’ at me like a brain dead whore that only I can make you?”  

A muted whimpered moan came from her mouth before she spoke, “Belong to you, I’m yours Harry.” Her throat suddenly felt a bit dry, words coming out a tad bit sandy which the man noticed. “Wha’s the matter? Throat gone dry? Yea?-“ Y/n nodded never letting their gazes part “-here, let me help.” He used the fingers latched on her chin to force her mouth open, collecting his saliva before spitting it directly into her mouth with a filthy aggressive ‘spat’ noise. He kept his gaze on his spit as he watched it slide down her throat seeing the muscles constrict when she swallowed it fully, a desperate whine coming out of her next.

“Still thirsty, love? Throat still dry? Open-“ she complied immediately, sticking her tongue out and letting him project another collection of spit into her mouth before deciding to get filthy with her, dribbling little bits of spit on her still out tongue seeing some drip onto her chin which gave him another prompting to really make her feel dirty like her behavior was asking for, he pulled back closing her mouth for her and spat directly onto her face.

Y/n gasped a bit, of course her and Harry had done every dirty thing you can imagine. Vanilla was not in their vocabulary when it came to sex, they’d done everything from voyeurism and taboo roleplays to experimenting with knives and pee play, so this wasn’t the first time he’s spit on her face, she just wasn’t expecting it that time. Harry had watched as it started to roll from her nose and drip, her tongue darting back out of her mouth to collect the falling spit swallowing it greedily.

“I think you’re starting to remember how things work aren’t ya? You’re my little girl, you even drink from me don’t yeh? Let’s do some more refreshing, this right here-“ Harry’s large palm migrated to cup her bikini covered cunt giving it a harsh squeeze making sure to pinch her lips between his fingers for a little bit of pain added to the grip. “-this darling little cock sleeve, also is mine. I own your pussy, sweetheart. Now let’s hear you say it, go on use that little brain for m’”

Y/n was practically a puddle of mush at this point. She loved being roughed up, degraded and treated rather harshly during sex. She loved when he’d participate in that kink of hers since Harry himself thinks very highly of women, so he’s not often giving her the full ‘you’re a stupid fuck doll’ treatment. This was a treat for her, getting him so riled up he was being extra rough even verbally.

“I belong to Harry, my body is yours.” A needy whimper followed her words, hands holding onto his flexed biceps just needing to feel her man, his dominance amplifying her needy nature and submissive tendencies. The man cooed at her, giving her a little smile. “Good girl, now what else do yeh need to say to m’? hmm?”

“I’m sorry for being bad, I love you Hazzy” her lips puckered for a kiss, getting a few simple pecks from him as a reward yet she wanted more. Harry knew that fact, but he wasn’t going to cave that easily. She needed to really understand he wasn’t fucking around this time and those snotty comments about flashing herself and mentioned the old guys prick wouldn’t fly, not at all.

“I love you too, darling. I accept your apology, but you’re not off the hook yet. You were very naughty, you know better than to even mention another man getting to see what belongs to me. I don’t want to hear anything like the mess you said earlier, ever come from your mouth again. Understood?” Y/n quickly agreed, nodding her head with a ‘yes sir’ wondering where things would go from here.

“Good, now that we’re on the same page I think it’s time to move onto the consequences you’ll be facing for your behavior. Turn around.”

The girl did what she was told, the sun now starting to set as she pressed her front into the side of the pool both of their bodies still submerged in the water. She was wondering what was to come, the thrill of being outdoors already surging through her and the anticipation of whats next was killing her.

“You were awfully rude to me, petal. Not happy with yeh, so I think you’re going to get your ass fucked.”

Y/n felt her eyes go wide, she’d talked to Harry before about acceptable punishments and what she wants to receive depending on what she did. during that conversation she’d mentioned anal, but that was reserved for if she was really bad. So she knew she must have really fucking pissed him off. The girl chose anal as a severe punishment because she couldn’t come from it, and it was always painful for her but since she had a major pain kink she put it on the table of options after trying it with an ex and discovering how the sensation was a punishing one for her body.

Her head turned to look behind her, Harry flicking his eyes from the top of her spine down to where the water distorted the image of her bum. “You made me very upset, love. Hurt m’ feelings, acted like a bitch. I deserve to get off, you don’t. Goin’ ta’ use that tight little hole to teach you a lesson, and as my own personal masturbation tool for the evening. If you’re a good girl and don’t complain, I might make you feel good in the morning.”

The objectification while very much offensive in a normal setting, was unbelievably hot in this sexual one. She knew that cruel of dirty talk wasn’t for everyone, but she loved it. She loved being treated like an object after she’d been bad. She enjoyed it when Harry would use her mouth like a masturbation toy while he watched porn, not even acknowledging her when she’d been a bad girl at other times. She loved when he’d humiliate her by having her hump her pillow in front of him, somehow able to control his body enough to stay soft while he watched her so the only thing she saw was his flaccid cock making her feel like a dirty girl who couldn’t get him up. It was all consensual and had been talked about. Of course she loved soft Harry too, the delicate slow way he’d lick her cunt, the loving thrusts and making love for hours on end. She loved every version of Harry in the bedroom, but right now she was getting dominant Harry and while she knew she was about to feel like she was being split in two by his cock ramming inside her ass, she was still going to love every surge of pain going through her lower half while he moaned filthy things into her ear. The fact she could get him to cum without herself getting pleasure was a strangely erotic thing for her.

Harry’s hands brought her back from her train of thought, his fingers making quick work of her bottoms letting them untie and float off somewhere in the pool whilst he turned his attention back to her body. His large palms groped at her ass, nails digging into the plump flesh as he pulled her cheeks apart every few gropes letting the cold pool water touch the opening, the sensation making her flinch slightly at first before she started getting used to the ripples of water touching a taboo place on her body.

She felt his chest press into her bare back, face tucking into her neck as he used his teeth to tug the ties of her bikini top undone, the fabric giving way to leave her completely bare in the water. She hopes to god there isn’t a group full of paps with night vision cameras up in trees or fucking hang gliding around the boat because she doesn’t think her mom would appreciate seeing her daughter in the tabloids getting railed by her boyfriend.

His damp hair tickled the bare skin of her shoulder, his lips resting on the shell of her ear while he spoke. “Don’t you dare scream, you know the safe word if yeh need to use it. Got it? No screaming, and don’t start the tears either. Be a big girl, not gonna go easy on ya’ this time princess.”

When she felt his tip start to push against her puckered hole she did everything she could to try and keep her body relaxed so it wouldn’t be nearly as much of a struggle. One of his arms wrapped around her waist to keep her still while his other hand was gripping the tip of his cock using his knuckles to keep her ass pried open a bit to put himself inside the impossibly tight hole just begging to be torn to shreds.

Her jaw clenched with her fists as he managed to ease the tip of his cock through her puckered star, her anal muscles clamping down almost painfully tight on his cock while he gripped her hips and shoved her back on him burying himself so far inside the girl he swears his tip was banging into another organ inside the girls belly. A deep groan ripped its way through Harry’s throat, the sensation was overwhelming and the power he held in his dominant role made every fiber of his being feel like it had been ignited.

He swears he could feel the blood running through his veins, hear his eyes blinking and was hyper aware of every limb and appendage he had, his cock being the part of himself that was screaming with stimulation as he massaged himself with the inner muscles of his girl. Y/n wanted to feel ashamed at how she was getting off on the pain, not feeling anywhere close to cumming or real sexual stimulation that was pleasurable, but a mental erotic feeling. The knowledge that Harry was using her body to get off, and punish her at the same time made her mentally so turned on she knew she was adding the natural slick pouring from her peach into the water, she hopes chlorine can mask the scent of pussy juice and semen or else she’ll feel a bit sorry for the pool boy who might be fishing out the spillage of Harry’s cum into the water the next morning.

“Jesus H Christ baby, your little ass is so fuckin’ tight feel like yeh might rip my cock off…fuckin’ hell I’m close. Gonna bust so deep inside you ,you’ll be seeing parts of me coming out of you for days. My slutty little girl likes to be stuffed full of my cum doesn’t she?” Y/n moaned simply at his words alone, responding with a pitiful ‘yes sir, I love you’ to his accusation. “Aw, I know you do. Like when I use yeh like a cum rag, like to feel m’ spunk leakin out of yeh. You’re such a disgusting little girl, aren’t yeh?”

Y/n let out a pained grunt mixed with a titillated moan, nodding furiously at her boyfriends words.

“Yes! Yes I’m a nasty girl, only for you. Fuck Harry, I’m yours.” She sounded pathetic, utterly pitiful and dirty. And they both fucking loved it. Harry could feel himself nearing completion, his stamina becoming weaker and his body begging to spurt his seed into the girl and with a few more harsh thrusts leaving a lingering burn to her bottom he filled her bowel with hot, sticky ribbons of his cum.

Every bit of semen held inside his contracting balls was being unloaded into her beautiful quivering body, her nipples hard as rocks between his toying fingers and her stomach slightly distended with the pressure of his prick inside her. The sight was filthy, almost offensively so. Something you see only on the dirtiest if porn sites, ones only the most depraved kinky bastards go to, Y/n was his own little hardcore porn star in this pool and he’d never felt more primally turned on in his life.

He slowly removed himself from her, certain that without the barrier of water the exit would have made a delicious ‘pop’ when the tip of his meat finally retreated from the hole. Y/n was now catching her breath, legs shaking under the water from the forced stretch of her lower muscles her body trying to regain it’s composure as her boyfriend pulled his swim trunks back over his genitals and turned her to face him pressing her naked body into his.

“Think I can trust yeh not to be so bad anymore?” His voice was no longer as gruff, he was slowly turning back into his normal self. Y/n gave him a tired nod, kissing his butterfly and hugging him tight.

“Well lets hope for your sake I can, but for my sake I wouldn’t mind getting to abuse your ass again if yeh chose to misbehave like that again.”

[tsarisfanfiction]

Explosive

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Teen Genre: Hurt/Comfort Characters: Gordon, Scott

The erupting volcano was almost sedate compared to the fraying tempers in the danger zone.

For @whumptober-archive’s day 5 “I’ve got red in my ledger” using the prompt broken nose.  Today was tough - I actually started poking at alt. prompts for a while, but they didn’t want to flow, either.  Still, we got somewhere in the end!

The sound of a breaking nose was distinctive.  Cartilage crumpled, bone shattered, and it all combined into a unique symphony that once heard once, was never forgotten again.

Gordon had known that Scott was having trouble with some rescuees; it was hard not to, when their loud and explosive protests had been broadcasting clearly through Scott’s open comm. That was the whole reason he’d left the other part of the danger zone – a small town directly in the path of a leisurely yet unrelenting volcanic eruption – to Virgil and Alan in order to back their big brother up.  Sure, Virgil probably could corral their reluctant rescuees with a combination of his seemingly-eternal patience and sheer bulk, but if Scott’s Commander persona wasn’t getting through, then Gordon wasn’t a fan of throwing Virgil into the mix. Alan wasn’t even a consideration.

He’d recommended himself, John had agreed, and Scott hadn’t even given any indication that he’d heard him over the increasingly-aggressive sounding rescuee, so he went.

Unfortunately, it sounded very much like he hadn’t got there in time.  There was, of course, a chance that Scott had snapped and been the first to lash out, but Gordon was doubtful that that was the case, even if he’d personally prefer it over Scott being the victim.  Scott was good at keeping his temper under control on rescues, provided none of his family were threatened – and as he was alone in his sector of the danger zone, there was no way they were successfully threatening the rest of them. Ergo, the one with the freshly broken nose was Scott, and Gordon was incredibly displeased at that.

They were still shouting, none of their voices tinged with the tell-tale thickness of a broken nose, and the sound of more contact echoed across the comm.

Gordon accelerated a little more, breaking into a risky jog as he closed in on Scott’s location. Ungrateful and difficult rescuees were the worst, especially when they got violent towards his brothers.  Scott could, in theory, handle it – although it was sounding rather like this time he couldn’t – but Kayo was the only other one of his siblings whose self-defence skills were greater than simply passable so Gordon often ended up as some form of defence.

That didn’t mean he liked doing it.  They were there to help people, not fight them.

He slowed his pace again on the final approach, wanting to get a visual on the situation before actually getting involved.  Blue and yellow wasn’t the best for stealth, but if no-one was actively looking for someone else nearby, he could disguise his presence reasonably well.

There were three of them, all yelling loudly.  Smart businessmen in suits, but one was built a lot like Virgil and his face was a similar colour to Thunderbird Three as he roared at Scott.  Gordon’s brother was backed up against a crumbling building that looked like it had been victimised by the warning quakes – another concern to keep an eye on – with one hand cupping his face in a way that made it perfectly clear that he was the one with the broken nose and the other balled into a fist of frustration.

His restraint was admirable; Gordon could tell that his temper was seething, and that the temptation was there to lash out in retaliation, but so far he hadn’t stooped to their level.

Gordon’s job was to make sure he didn’t.

“What seems to be the problem, gentlemen?” he inquired, stepping over some other quake-caused rubble as he made his presence known – still far enough away that they couldn’t just take a swing at him.  “You know, this area is in the path of a whole load of lava and leaving would be a really good idea.”

“We’re not leaving!” the red-faced hulk snarled.  To Gordon’s relief, he turned away from Scott to face him instead.  “Get your fancy machines over here and protect my property.”

One of those, was he? Gordon wished he was surprised, but the arrogant, sharply dressed businessmen almost always cared more for their property than their lives.  It made them incredibly tiring to deal with.

“Sir, that’s a wall of lava bearing down on us,” he pointed out, taking another step closer.  “We can’t stop it, just get everyone out of its path before they end up like the residents of Pompeii.”

And Herculaneum, John’s voice snarked in the back of his head, although John himself was too busy directing Virgil and Alan while keeping an eye on the volcano itself to contribute to the conversation.

Red turned to a rather impressive shade of purple instead.  “I demand that you protect my property,” the man exploded, rather like the erupting volcano itself.  “It’s worth more than you could possibly imagine.”

Considering the Tracys ranked somewhere particularly impressive in the list of richest families in the world, Gordon probably could.  The attending Thunderbirds alone were likely worth more than whatever it was he was trying to protect.  He knew better than to mention that, though.

“That volcano really doesn’t care,” he said instead, which probably wasn’t much better.  Movement behind the men facing him indicated that Scott was doing the smart thing and getting out of his cornered situation, although Gordon wasn’t naïve enough to think that he was being smart enough to leave the confrontation entirely.

“I don’t care what the volcano thinks,” purple-face yelled, lunging forwards.  Gordon had been wondering when he’d snap again.

Already on guard, and not hemmed in against a building with nowhere to go, it was a piece of cake to duck down beneath the flailing arm, watch him overbalance, then grab his wrist and yank him into a submission hold.

“Hey!”  The other men reacted, but Gordon glared at them and they halted in their tracks.

“Look,” he told the struggling man.  “Our job is people, not properties, and we’re not leaving you to die so either you come with us peacefully, or I’ll force you.”  He tightened his grip.  “And we do not appreciate being attacked for trying to save your sorry asses.”

“Gordon!” Scott scolded, although his name came out all mangled thanks to the broken nose. Gordon elected to ignore him.

“There’s nothing International Rescue can do to stop the volcano destroying whatever it wants to destroy,” he continued.  Purple-face gaped breathlessly, while the other two watched.  “So are you going to go to the evac zone willingly, or do I have to force you?”

Scott’s hand clamped down on his own shoulder, but Gordon continued to ignore him in favour of waiting for the answer.

It didn’t take long.

“I’ll go, I’ll go! Let me go and I’ll go right now!”

Like many of their more aggressive encounters, it was all bravado shielding a delicate ego.  Gordon released him and quickly stepped backwards, out of range of any other potential attacks – pushing Scott out of the way as he did – but it seemed that this one actually knew when he was beaten.

A dark look, an under-the-breath grumble that was probably some version of the cliché I’ll get you for this, and the man scarpered.  The other two, who were almost certainly just lackeys, followed hot on his heels, and Gordon watched them go with narrowed eyes.

“Gordon,” Scott repeated again, all nasally and disapproving.  He rolled his eyes – it wasn’t like Scott wouldn’t have done the same or worse had their situations been reversed – before turning to face his big brother.

“How did you let that guy get a hit on you?” he asked, mostly as a distraction and not because he was interested in the answer.  Scott huffed, then winced.

Gordon closed the gap between them and reached for his cheek, carefully prying the concealing hand out of the way so he could see the damage properly.

“Gordon-”

“There’s no-one else left in this sector, Virgil and Alan have the rest of it under control, and that lava’s taking its sweet time approaching,” he reminded him coolly.  “There is plenty of time for me to check you over."  He lay his hand gently on Scott’s cheek, pushing himself up on tip-toe to be closer to eye level.

His nose was going to need re-setting; Gordon could do it right there, but it’d be without painkillers, whereas if they waited until they were back to Thunderbird Two they’d have the full medical compliment, including Virgil.  Blood dripped sluggishly down, crossing Scott’s upper lip and dripping periodically onto his lower, and the classic twin black eyes were already beginning to blossom.

Scott suffered the inspection impatiently, switching his weight from foot to foot and glancing around the danger zone with an angsty air.  Gordon was too used to his big brother’s quirks to be bothered by any of that.

“You’re getting some beautiful shiners,” he declared, swiping away the next dribble of blood with his thumb before releasing Scott’s head.  The look Scott gave him could only be interpreted as thank you, Captain Obvious.  “No light-headedness, double-vision, or any other signs of concussion?”

“I’m fine,” came the muffled, irritated, response.  Gordon suspected he was at least partially annoyed with himself for being jumped in the first place.  “We have an evacuation to finish.”  It came out more like we hab an ebacuadun do binid.

Gordon eyed him critically, well aware that Scott wouldn’t admit to anything if he thought he could just push through it, but concurred.

He changed his mind approximately four seconds later, when Scott stumbled and swayed slightly.

“No light-headedness?” he repeated pointedly, fingers firmly wrapped around his brother’s bicep and holding him upright.

Scott didn’t acknowledge that with a verbal response, but the way he tugged to keep walking was enough for Gordon.

“Change of plan,” he chirped, taking the lead and guiding a somewhat reluctant Scott straight towards Thunderbird Two.  “Virgil and Alan finish off the evac while I give that head of yours a proper scan and we’ll see what’s wrong.  Well, more wrong than usual, I mean.”  He ducked a half-hearted swipe and tightened his grip when Scott threatened to overbalance again.  “John, you get that?”

“F.A.B.,” their perpetually eavesdropping brother agreed, appearing above his wrist.  “Virgil and Alan have been updated and the local authorities informed about the dangerous rescuees.”

“Perfect,” Gordon said. “Hear that, Scott?  You’ve got nothing to do except let me check you over, and I’ve got nothing to do except check you over, so let’s go do that and make sure you didn’t get a concussion.”

“I’m not concussed,” Scott protested thickly.

“Which is exactly what a concussed Scott Tracy would say,” Gordon pointed out.  Scott stumbled again and he graduated from holding his bicep to wrapping his arm around his waist.  “It’s just one measly little scan, Scott.  It won’t bite.”

The glare he got in response to that was almost enough to convince him that Scott was probably fine. Almost.

Gordon chuckled as they approached the large green Thunderbird.  Her module was open, with rescuees milling around concernedly, so he made a beeline straight for the cockpit, Scott in tow.  His brother stumbled again, and Gordon firmly pushed him to sit in one of the passenger seats before retrieving a medscanner.

No concussion, but there was a minor head injury – not including the obvious.  Gordon supressed a growl that would’ve been aimed at people out of earshot regardless, and dabbed lightly at the blood still sluggishly trickling down with a clean gauze.  His brother attempted to take over, or at the least bat him away, but Gordon caught his hand in his and guided it firmly to rest on his lap.

“Let me do it,” he scolded lightly.  “I can actually see where it is.”

It was a pretty feeble reason, admittedly – mirrors existed – but Gordon didn’t particularly care because he had no intentions of passing over the ministrations to anyone else anyway. If he did, he might just cave to the roaring instincts to teach the man – men – responsible a detailed lesson on why no-one hurt Gordon’s brothers.

It was much better for everyone involved if he kept himself busy.

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Hearts Club

Seokmin: Chapter 4 (Let Your Heart Hold Fast)

Characters: Seokmin x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, implied toxic masculinity, food mentions, sexual mentions/jokes, mentions of the dead, mentions of potential violence. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything!

Author’s Note: For those of you asking, yes Soonyoung is Seungcheol’s mate in all the story lines but his own. Don’t ask me why, I just see it this way. I’m trying not to make every single chapter for every single member super angsty but your girl is a simple sad bitch so I can’t help it. Also, if I made another Seventeen Werewolf AU in a different universe following a different concept, would you guys read it? Let me know pls because I have an idea but I don’t wanna make it if no one would be interested in it.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

☁️

Lonely Hearts Club Master List

Chapter 4: Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Since you had gotten back to the pack’s house, things had been going… pretty well actually. You were getting along well with everyone, you were getting used to staying in a house again, and you had pretty much become content with living with a bunch of other wolves. You were still a bit awkward with your mate. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it did make certain things… uncomfortable.

For instance, you guys stayed in the same room now. You figured there was no point in taking up a room if you were mates with one of the boys. It seemed selfish to you to continue to have your own. So instead, you began sleeping in the same room as Seokmin. He was beyond thrilled that you decided to stay with him, but your guys interactions got very… blurred. You weren’t sure what was okay and what wasn’t okay, neither was he.

So you usually slept on one side of the bed and he slept on the other, with a pillow in between the both of you to prevent touching. Still, you two always somehow managed to cuddle in your sleep and woke up in each other’s arms. THAT’S when it got awkward. You’d start to fumble around and get all embarrassed and he’d just be sitting there plain tongue tied at what was going on.

You weren’t even sure why you were nervous. The motherfucker had already seen every angle of your body naked, so what was the big deal? You couldn’t place it. Being around him now just made you feel so on edge. Seeing him or knowing he was near you had your fingers tingling from your palm to the tip of your middle finger, it felt like even your aura was shimmering due to his presence. Everything about him made every cell in your body was electrified. It was a strange feeling. And you always hoped your mate didn’t notice, but, unfortunately for you, he did notice.

He saw how scattered and frazzled you’d get whenever he’d get near you. He felt bad for it. But he couldn’t help but want to be near you, you were his whole world. You had been very kind to him and very caring towards him. You just didn’t really understand the whole ‘forever partners’ thing. He figured it would take you a lot of time to get used to having a mate again.

But the wolf part of him also just wanted to show you that he could be as good of a mate Cyrus was. He wanted to show you he was big and strong and able to be a good provider. He couldn’t help it, it was in his nature to be naturally competitive with your past partner. It was in his nature to want to protect you and want to be seen as someone you looked at as a safe place rather than someone you looked at like you had to protect yourself. He felt bad about it. He tried to suppress it, but he just couldn’t. The toxic masculinity of the wolf instinct just wouldn’t go away.

“Morning everyone!” you chirped as you all but skipped your way down the stairs to the kitchen, immediately locking eyes with your mate and feeling a heat rise to your cheeks instantly.

You were greeted with a wave of ‘mornings’ by the crowd now in front of you as you grabbed a bowl from one of the cabinets and began to pour yourself some cereal. You could feel Seokmin’s eyes on your every movement but you tried to brush it off as best you could and pretended not to notice.

You yawned a bit in tiredness before you sat down in an empty seat semi across from your mate. You were exhausted. Sleeping for you had become a bit better now that Seokmin slept next to you, but it had also become… uncomfortable for reasons you weren’t so sure you were ready to admit yet.

“Well it sounds like SOMEONE’s still tired!” Smirked Soonyoung, who was no doubt trying to make it sexual in nature. But it was truly just a yawn.

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, tired from you keeping me up all night from having to hear you jerk one out for the umpteenth night in a row. Seriously what’s it been now? 4 days running? 5? I can’t keep track anymore.” You responded with a sly grin on your face, much to the delight of your brothers who began a symphony of laughter at your smart reply.

“Hey it’s not my fault Cheol’s withholding sex!” He explained defensively as he crossed his arms over his chest in a huff.

Seungcheol just snickered and let out a, “But It IS your own damn fault” before he continued on eating his breakfast by stuffing a spoon full of it in his mouth. At this point, you had begun joining in on the others fun and we’re holding your stomach in amusement.

“No it’s not!” Soonyoung put his hand over his heart dramatically as if he were accused of something horrendous, “You’re just being ridiculous!” He snarled at his partner angrily while the rest of you were still dying of laughter.

“I’m not being ridiculous my love, you need to be taught lessons and with you, withholding sex is the only way you learn. Therefor, I withhold sex.” Cheol replied matter of factly with a mouth full of food.

Jihoon raised his face in disgust at their conversation, “Eww gross! I don’t want to think about you two fucking!”

After that, it seemed like the laughter died down enough to have a more civilized conversation. Well, as civilized as the pack’s conversations could really get with 13 boys in it.

“So we need to go to the market today, we’re running low on supplies. Who’s all gonna go?” Joshua asked aloud, praying literally anyone would want to go out as he absolutely hated going himself.

A lot of the boys had already gotten caught or had close calls in the village. There were only a select few who could now go to the market undetected. Joshua just happened to be one of them, but he refused to go alone. He could be charming when he needed to be, but he preferred someone else come with so that he could take the things they needed and couldn’t afford while they distracted the shop keepers.

“I can go!” You raised your hand cutely with a sweet smile on your face before anyone else could say anything. Though, you did hear a loud huff that came from in front of you out of Seokmin.

It wasn’t that he wanted you to have to stay inside all the time. But the town was DANGEROUS. They had already caught half of them on multiple occasions, soon, there wouldn’t be anyone left that could go out and get supplies. And when they were caught, the boys got REAL close to being hung up on some hunter’s mantle.

Werewolves and hunters had been at each other’s throats since before even the alphas were born. So of course he didn’t want the love of his life out in the middle of a war there’s no way the boys could possibly win. If something happened to you, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. But he knew you would never see the validity of his argument. Because of this, instead of arguing with you, he decided to make his displeasure known passively.

Joshua clapped his hands together with joy, “Perfect! So (Y/N)’s in. Anyone else?”

He wasn’t super concerned about being alone now that you were going with. He knew that he could probably compel one of the younger boys who hadn’t been seen to go with him too just for safe measure. But he figured he’d ask in case he could actually get a volunteer for once. With you going, there was a good chance one of the others would decide to go willingly now too.

“If she’s going, then I’m going too.” Declared Seokmin from his seat of self pity.

The entire pack turned to look at him, including you. It wasn’t normal for him to want to go out in public. The only reason he was one of the few who hadn’t gotten exposed yet was because he was generally too scared of humans to go out. Now here he was volunteering to go because you had. He wasn’t about to let you go out without him. Boy, love sure had a way of making men do the stupidest things.

You shook your head in protest, “No. Absolutely not. You can’t go. I refuse to let you go.”

Seokmin grit his teeth in their place, “If you’re going then so am I. I’m just as capable as any of the rest of you!” He hissed out between nose flares.

That was another thing, this would also be the perfect way to show you that he could protect you and be tough for you like he wanted to. He knew you thought of him as some little boy, he wanted to change that. He wanted you to think as highly of him as he did you and this was a good way to start.

“But Seokmin-” You were swiftly cut off before you could continue with your argument.

“But Seokmin nothing. If you’re going, I’ll be right there with you watching you. End of discussion.” He finished with a bit of a growl to show you and everyone else he meant business.

The boys all looked to you as if you were the deciding voice, even though you weren’t an alpha. You were his mate and one of the few that could go. If you didn’t want him going, then they’d respect that decision. BUT both you and them also knew it meant trouble for your relationship or whatever it was you had with him if you refused it.

You groaned in frustration and thought while you drug your hands down your face in annoyance. He could get himself hurt. Did you REALLY have it in you today to protect him? You were still so on edge with him near, was it really a GOOD idea for him to be out in the human world right next to you? But part of you also knew full well that he wasn’t going to back down from his insane idea. The best you could do was humor him and PRAY that nothing bad would happen.

“Ugh fine! Whatever. But so help me god, if I have to come save your ass because you get caught, I’m definitely NOT gonna be happy.” You rolled your eyes at his narrowed ones.

He gave you a victorious grin that made you want to grab his face and pull him in for a kiss and smack him for his smugness at the same time. But instead of doing that, you all quickly adjourned to your rooms to get ready for the day to come. You just hoped it wouldn’t all go to shit.

(Updated 9/21)

[travllingbunny]

Master post: my gifsets, meta etc.

Because stuff you’ve put effort in can get lost in faraway corners of your blog.

There’s more meta here because I’ve only figured out how to make gifsets lately. This is still not an exhaustive list, there’s a lot of older meta (especially not-The 100 related) I will try to find and add later, especially tons of A Song of Ice and Fire and (anti) GoT meta.

A Song of Ice and Fire/GoT/House of the Dragon

Analysis of the House of the Dragons opening credits - and the way they depict the Targaryen bloodlines up to the timeline of the show

Dance of the Dragons - seeds of the story: mentions of the Dance in the 5 main A Song of Ice and Fire books (1996-2011) - how it all started and developed before GRRM came up with the fully story that was published as The Princess and the Queen (2013), The Rogue Prince, The World of Ice & Fire (2014) and Fire & Blood (2018) and finally got adapted into House of the Dragon.

Thoughts on HotD playing with/referencing the Aegon the Unworthy/Naerys/Aemon the Dragonknight dynamic and rumors from the books

Daenerys, the fandom and double standards - this old post from a few years ago was mostly about the book fandom’s antis and their sexist double standards in judging Dany vs some of the male characters. It really blew up later, especially with how season 8 treated Dany and how the showrunners tried to retcon her. Some more comments on counterarguments including the “poor slavers” argument

Jon’s real name is... wait for it... Jon

my view on whether it’s “wrong” to ship Jon/Dany and how much it is or isn’t incest (which sums up my views on “incest ships” in general)

an answer to some black-and-white thoughts on Jaime Lannister

For my anti-GoT rants and reblogs of rants going back to season 5, see https://travllingbunny.tumblr.com/tagged/anti-got

Dark

Gifsets

These are very angsty and dark (no pun intended) and full of season 3 spoilers, so I’ll just give these code names for the sake of all those that are still watching or will watch this show.

Light

Shadow

Martha’s room (new gifset!)

Memes

Nothing like funny memes about a dark angsty show. It’s amazing how well Dark goes with The Onion headlines.

Dark + text posts

Dark + The Onion headlines:

Part 1 (Season 1 - 1x01-1x06)

Part 2 (Season 1 - 1x09-1x10)

Part 3 (Season 2 - 2x01-2x02)

Part 4 (Season 2 - 2x03-2x06)

Part 5 (Season 2 - 2x07-2x08)

Part 6 (Season 3 - 3x01-3x04)

Part 7 (Season 3 - 3x05-3x08)

Meta

Aleksander’s backtory is actually pretty clear

My views on Agnes

On some of the often misunderstood (IMO) season 3 storylines, including my thoughts on SPOILER’s motivations + additional comments in conversation with @hadrianvonpaulus, who made some good points)

Why Hannah Kahwald is such a unique character

Halt and Catch Fire

Halt and Catch Fire - the most underrated show ever? (my recommendation of the show if you haven’t seen it + if you have, see my headcanons of what happened to the characters after the series finale)

Gifsets

One time Cameron wanted to hurt Joe, and one time she wanted to heal him 

“What can I say? Kid’s in love” (2x07)

Memes

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, mansplain, manipulate, manwhore, malewife

HCF characters as Internet memes: Underly Attached Wife and Tough Luck Tom

Halt and Catch Fire + text posts: 

Season 1, part 1

Season 1, part 2

Season 1, part 3

Season 2, part 1

Season 2, part 2

Seasons 1-2, bonus

Season 3, part 1

Season 3, part 2

Season 3, part 3

Season 3, part 4 (Cameron mid-season special)

Season 3, part 5

Season 3 part 6

Season 3 part 7

HCF + Reductress headlines: seasons 1-3

other HCF memes:

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss…HCF character alignment

HCF characters as Internet memes: Underly Attached Wife and Tough Luck Tom (spoilers up to the end  of season 3)

Agents of SHIELD

Gifsets

1x08 The Well / 1x20 Nothing Personal parallel

Reviews/meta

I wish I had continued with these, but I didn’t have the time and stopped during season 1. I believe this was a rewatch between seasons 5 and 6, so these include spoilers up to season 5.

1x01 The Pilot (reblog of @weareagentsofnothing‘s review with my additional thoughts and comments)

1x02 0.8-4

1x03 The Asset

1x04 Eye Spy

1x05 Girl in the Flower Dress

1x06 FZZT

1x07 The Hub

+ comments

reblog of  @valentinaonthemoon rewatch review of 1x21 Ragtag with a few additional thoughts about SHIELD and Hydra

reblog of @weareagentsofnothing‘ review of 3x17 Singularity with my comments

Other AoS stuff

Daisy is not a Mary Sue nor did she ‘take over the show” 

The 100

Gifsets

Favourite Group/Location: Clarke’s mindspace (Day 4 of  #TakeBackThe100 fandom event)

Favorite Quote(s) (Day 5 of  #TakeBackThe100)

Favorite underrated/underrepresented character: Maya Vie (Day 6 of #TakeBackThe100) 

Favorite Underrated/Underrepresented Relationship: Octavia Blake/Charmaine Diyoza (Day 6 of  #TakeBackThe100)

Analyses (with a lot of images and some videos)

The 100 6x07 Nevermind: costumes, sets and props

Clarke Griffin’s memories and images in her mindspace (episodes 6x06. 6x07 and 6x10)

Clarke’s drawings in season 5 and 6 of The 100

Planets in the season 7 opening credits  and additional info and screenshots after 7x04 (This was back when I still took season 7 seriously and had hopes for it. LMAO)

Meta

Over the last six months, some 80% of my blog have been rants about The 100′s horrible final season.  You can find all of them under the #anti The 100 season 7 tag. 

(including the Shortest and most succint post I've ever made about The 100 finale)

Meta I made before the show self-destructed:

Reviews

Season 1 - rewatch

1x01 Pilot 1x02 Earth Skills  and a bit of discussion about how we felt about the characters during the first watch 1x03 Earth Kills 1x04 Murphy’s Law 1x05 Twilight’s Last Gleaming 1x06 His Sister’s Keeper 1x07 Contents Under Pressure 1x08 Day Trip 1x09 Unity Day 1x10 I Am Become Death 1x11 The Calm 1x12/1x13 We Are Grounders (Part 1&Part 2) and season overview

Season 2 - rewatch

Overview 2x01 The 48 2x02 Inclement Weather 2x03 Reapercussions 2x04 Many Happy Returns 2x05 Human Trials 2x06 Fog of War 2x07 Long into an Abyss 2x08 Spacewalker 2x09 Remember Me 2x10 Survival of the Fittest 2x11 Coup de Grâce 2x12 Rubicon 2x13 Resurrection 2x14 Bodyguard of Lies 2x15 Blood Must Have Blood, Part One 2x16 Blood Must Have Blood, Part Two

Season 3 - rewatch

Overview

Episodes 3x01-3x02

Episodes 3x03-3x05

Episodes 3x06-3x10

Episodes 3x11-3x16

Season 4 - rewatch

4x01 Echoes 4x02 Heavy Lies the Crown 4x03 Four Horsemen 4x04 A Lie Guarded 4x05 Tinder Box 4x06 We Will Rise 4x07 Gimme Shelter 4x08 God Complex 4x09 DNR 4x10 Die All, Die Merrily 4x11 The Other Side 4x12 The Chosen 4x13 Praimfaya Season 4 and the greyest morality ever (meta mostly relating to The Chosen - which was originally meant to be a part of it)

Season 5 - rewatch

5x01 Eden

5x02 Red Queen

5x03 Sleeping Giants

5x04 Pandora’s Box

5x05 Shifting Sands

(I wrote these during the hiatus mid-season 7... and then I lost any desire to continue writing any The 100 reviews after 7x13 aired)

Season 6 (reviews posted weekly during the season)

6x01 Sanctum 6x02 Red Sun Rising 6x03 Children of Gabriel 6x04 The Face Behind the Glass 6x05 The Gospel of Josephine 6x06 Memento Mori   6x07 Nevermind 6x08 The Old Man and the Anomaly 6x09 What You Take With You

6x10 Matryoshka 6x11 Ashes to Ashes 6x12 Adjustment Protocol 6x13 The Blood of Sanctum

Season 7  (reviews posted weekly during the season)

7x01 From the Ashes

7x02 The Garden

7x03 False Gods

7x04 Hesperides

7x05 Welcome to Bardo

7x06 Nakara

7x07 The Queen’s Gambit

+ My authentic live reaction to 7x07 The Queen’s Gambit

7x08 Anaconda

7x09 The Flock

7x10 A Little Sacrifice

7x11 Etherea and some additional thoughts about Bellamy’s experience in the cave

7x12 The Stranger

Various

Clarke’s Commander of Death nickname

Clarke’s relationship with Finn

Clarke’s relationship with Lexa and the follow-up post about Lexa herself and the Commanders in Grounder culture

Semi-humorous summary of The 100

Reply to falafel14′s meta about Maya Vie

Why Charles Pike doesn’t deserve all the hate

About Bellamy’s decisions in season 5 regarding Madi and the Flame

Favorite episodes

Could Bellarke have confessed their feelings for each other in the season 4 finale?

About the show’s portrayal (or lack of it) of Clarke’s grieving for Wells

The writers are bad at math: time dilation inconsistencies between season 6 and season 7

Some questions and answers about the plot of season 7

Fanon vs canon: a comedic post about the popular fanon versions of The 100 characters (the replies and reblogs with comments to this post are also well worth reading, particularly @kizo2703‘s summary of two fanon versions of Raven)

Speculation

The 100 Final Season Speculations (general speculation posted after the end of season 6)

The 100 speculation: Anomaly Stone, Eligius 3, Second Dawn (posted after 7x02) and speculation: part  2

Where is Bellamy? and more on time dilation possibilities and Etherea again

Other shows/franchises

Tribes of Europa season 1 - review

Black Widow impressions/very brief film review

If these Buffyverse characters had a child together... (something fun for fans of Buffy, Angel, Agents of SHIELD, Dollhouse and/or Dr Horrible’s Sing Along Blog)

General meta

What even is “Draco in Leather Pants”? - this old post was me getting snarky and fed up with people bringing up this ‘trope’ as I’ve come to think it’s mostly, at best, an excuse for fandom w*nk/attacks on fans who dare to like characters they don’t, and at worst, another exercise in sexism in fandom. Many of the replies and reblog-comments I got are pretty great, too - see the discussion here.

A long, rambling answer to a ship tag game

[passable-talent]

Hey! I know you have done a lot of these but could you do a Zuko x Reader body appreciation fluffy/angsty thing? One where the s/o is naturally very sympathetic and forgiving and is one of the first members of Team Avatar to trust Zuko. And then when he is just sulking about his scar and his past and then the s/o swoops in and basically holds him and just stays like that for awhile while telling him everything good about him. I’m rewatching the series and honestly thats all I wanna do rn. Tysm❤️

good god isn’t that the mood... what we all feel when zuko exists, isn’t it? I’m soft

three posts?? in two days?? imagine

Ever since Aang told you about Zuko’s meltdown outside of the North Pole, you figured something very deep and very sad was going on underneath Zuko’s skin. There was something much more to him than he let on- and you figured it had to do with his banishment. You didn’t know much, as word of such things didn’t travel far outside of the fire nation, but you could guess.

His father would’ve had to have been the one to banish him. And he was young, your age, sixteen- how young had he been when his father cast him out? You couldn’t imagine.

And yes, Katara hated him, and you knew she had reason, but you hadn’t been around as long, you simply didn’t understand. But what you could understand was a sad and mistreated boy, and you felt for him, even as you fought against him.

But when things changed, and he turned to team avatar, you knew you had to do something. You wanted to learn more, to understand, because you couldn’t help but think that all of his anger was merely sadness hidden under a mask. You wanted to learn more, and to help, because he was your teammate now. You had always felt for him, and even more so now, with his full, if stunted, range of emotions bared to you.

You often took walks around the western air temple, late at night. As an earth kingdom native, the stone of the temple was home to you, and you loved the silence only broken by the padding of your bare feet.

And, by the sound of tears.

Your heart hurt for whoever was kept awake this late by their pain, and you began to follow the sound, though you had a sneaking suspicion who it was.

You rounded a corner inside the temple and found the room a little bit away from the rest of team avatar where Zuko had put himself up. Having not noticed you yet, he continued to stare into a puddle on the floor and shake, his knees pulled up as he sat on the floor.

Your heart nearly broke for him.

“Hey,” you whispered from the door, trying not to startle him. He looked up and quickly wiped away his tears, as though you hadn’t noticed, casting his gaze anywhere but you. You gave a small smile and walked into the room, sitting beside him, almost close enough to tough. You purposefully but subtly let your knee droop to the side, hiding the puddle from his vision. He hadn’t said a word, and you knew that starting a conversation would need to be a delicate process.

“I knew there was more to you,” you said, as though confirming a theory. It made him look at you, his good eye’s puffiness hiding in the dim light.

“What do you mean?” He asked, and you smiled, not giving him the burden of eye contact as you gazed off toward the wall.

“All those times you were chasing after Aang. Everything they’ve told me about you, from before. I knew there was something more than anger keeping you going.” He turned his face from you, and the both of you gazed off into the middle distance, side by side.

“There wasn’t, back then,” he said, a curt breath leaving his lungs.

“Yes, even then,” you corrected, “but I can’t figure out what. It was more than a drive to capture the avatar for the-“ you straightened your back and puffed out your chest, making fun of the statement you were about to make. “-victory of the glorious fire nation.” Another puff of air left his lungs, and you assumed it was the closest you were going to get to a laugh.

“Got any theories?” He asked, and you shrugged.

“Something about your banishment. You must’ve been young, huh?” You said, this time turning your eyes to him. He stared straight forward.

“Thirteen.” You shook your head, turning your eyes away.

“Wow.” For a moment, all you could hear was the cricket-flies out the window.

“That must be it, then,” you said, as though you’d solved the case. “Cast out by your father, at such a young age. I bet you thought that if you got the avatar back, your father would accept you home.”

“He was never going to accept me.”

“He doesn’t deserve to,” was your quick response, and he turned to you in shock. You continued.

“You’ve betrayed your father to come to us, and it was the right thing to do. You put the future of your nation and the world over your desire to win back his affection.” You finally made eye contact with him, a small smile on your face. “You know, I grew up in a small village in Abbey, one of the first that the fire nation took in the war. We were policed, and militarized, and poor.” His gaze faltered, and you could tell he felt guilty. “And though the fire nation controlled our education and filled it with propaganda, our parents taught us the truth- and often taught us to blindly hate the fire nation.” You reached out to take his hand. “You- you’re the first fire nation member I’ve ever met that I can’t find a fault in. All of those soldiers and teachers, they had malice in their hearts, but you’re doing what’s right for your people.” You brought his gaze back to yours with your free hand, gently. “You give me hope for the future of the fire nation.” He kept his gaze to yours for a moment before closing his eyes, breathing out. With the breath he let go of the last of the tension in his stomach.

“I hope I’m worthy of that,” he said quietly, and you felt a smile quirk at the edge of your lips.

“You are.” As that conversation seemed to dwindle away, you let him sit in silence for a moment, expecting to restart him talking on some other topic. However, he took up the conversation of his own accord.

“You were almost completely correct,” he said, opening his eyes again, but keeping them downcast. “For a long time, it was completely about regaining my father’s love. But that wasn’t all of it.” You tilted your head and squeezed his hand briefly, hoping to spur him on without words. He looked up, his golden eyes meeting yours with strength you hadn’t seen before, and he took his free hand up to point at his scar. “On the day of my banishment, my father did this to me. So every day, as it hurt, i was reminded of my father’s scorn. And every day more that I see it, I remember that my father thought I was such a bad option as an heir to the throne that he would marr my face. My face, of all places- no one can look at me without seeing the mark of a fire lord who said ‘this one isn’t good enough’.” As soon as he finished talking you leaned forward and hugged him, tightly, your cheek resting on his shoulder.

“You don’t deserve that,” you whispered, an intangible sadness gnawing at your heart. He was so abused- it was horrible. His silence was all you got in return but slowly his arms came around you, and you readjusted until it wasn’t so much that you had lept forward but now it was like you’d pulled him into you. “I’m so sorry.” He didn’t answer, merely nodded, his hair moving past your ear. Slowly you parted and reached up to softly touch his scar, fingers hovering just away from the rough skin to give him time to pull away. When he didn’t, you laid your hand down softly, your pinkie finger lining up with his jaw line. “It doesn’t take away from your handsomeness, you know,” you whispered, bravely. His cheek warmed up under your touch, though he didn’t say a word back. You smiled, and let your eyes drift from his golden gaze down to his lips.

His touch was warmer than yours. You had to assume it was the fire within his veins- or maybe that within his heart. Either way, afterward, when his lips pulled away and all you had were his hands on your lower back, the night air made you shiver.

-🦌 Roe

[swissmissficrecs]

Can you recommend fics which are fluffy but explicit as well? :D I have just read a super angsty fic and I need to see my boys happy. Thanks x

Reply: First off, I have these fluff-related rec lists, but not all of them are high-rated and some also have quite a bit of angst:

Fluff Master List

Fluff (more since the previous master list) + even more fluff and good feels

Then from my bookmarks, I have culled these E-rated Johnlock fics that should be fairly light on the angst and high on the fluff & romance:

A Family Trait by cumberqueer (12K, E, Johnlock) Set post-S4, John is back at home with Rosie in Baker Street. He's working on a lot of things, including building his trust with Sherlock once more. An emergency shift at the clinic jumpstarts the process, forcing John to leave Rosie at home with only Sherlock to watch her. Sherlock does his best and John makes a mistake, but everyone is happy in the end.

An Approximation to Perfection by TooSel (22K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock realises just how good the sex John had with his last girlfriend was. The solution is simple: he's going to do everything in his power to ensure that their own sex life stays interesting. Only that it's never quite that easy.

And if you say the word, I could stay with you by CaitlinFairchild (12K, E, Johnlock) What Sherlock thinks is, On the day I die, be it in a dirty alley at forty or in my bed at eighty, the last thing I will remember is tonight, the way you looked at at me on the snowy pavement, cheeks pink with the cold, breath puffing in frosty white clouds, your heart in your eyes and snowflakes in your hair. I will remember that single perfect moment in my life, that moment I knew I had everything I ever wanted, and whatever happens next, I will die content. What he says is simply, "Marry me."

Clutter-Free by MissDavis (13K, E, Johnlock) 5 times John made Sherlock clean up the flat and one time he didn't have to.

Full Circle by cumberqueer (13K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes has noticed that his best friend and crime-solving partner John Watson is doing well - too well for what they've been through, if you ask him. Sherlock is worried John is seeing someone that is making him very happy, and intends to find out who. But first: data. Featuring a spreadsheet of John Watson's Smiles, a parentlock makeover for 221b, and John being charming af.

If There Were Any Time For A Miracle by Berty (31K, E, Johnlock) John and Sherlock are spending Christmas at the Holmes' family home. Sherlock has a plan that John doesn't know about. John has a wish that Sherlock doesn't know about. If there were any time for a miracle, this would be it.

I'll Follow You Into the Dark by fearfully_beautifully_made (19K, E, Johnlock) ...A story about two men who have had a very tough couple of years and are long overdue for a little tenderness and healing. Or four times that one of the boys wake each other up from a Nightmare and one time when it is not a Nightmare. ;)

In July of This Year by yaycoffee (12K, E, Johnlock) There is an oft-cited experiment discussed in classrooms and cocktail parties alike, a convenient analogy when one endeavors to make a point about not noticing the obvious until it is inevitable. Simply, if you place a frog on a hot plate, it will jump off immediately, but if you put that frog on a cool plate and turn up the heat slowly, slowly, it will simply burn. Or: How these two idiots melt together, finally.

Johnlock Advent 2018 by sussexbound (47K, E, Johnlock) A collaboration between @honeybeelullaby, @chained-to-the-mirror, and myself. @honeybeelullaby provided the wonderful prompts, @chained-to-the-mirror drew pictures based on those, and I wrote a ficlet for each one.

Merlot by Itsallfine (14K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock and John work toward becoming something more as they prepare to host the Holmes parents at 221B for the holidays.

Put a Little Love in Your Heart by MissDavis (16K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes and John Watson will both tell you that they are not sentimental men, and that neither thinks the holiday season is anything more than a series of dates on a calendar. Don't believe a word they say.

State of Flux by Atiki (24K, E, Johnlock) John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they're both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

The Allowables by cwb (14K, E, Johnlock) Got your email. Your idea of whispering filth to me in public is genius. ALWAYSI thought you might like that. CBTM

To Feed Your Hunger by FinAmour (21K, E, Johnlock) What does a kiss say, after all? A kiss is a gift. A kiss is a promise. A kiss says, “You’re mine, and I’m yours.” John exhales. “Can I kiss you?” Sherlock is trembling in his arms. “If you don’t,” he murmurs roughly, “I may lose my mind.”

To Keep Quiet by Salambo06 (11K, E, Johnlock) Four days. In the end, that’s all it takes for Sherlock to accept the fact that there is a chance John might be feeling just as desperate for more as he is.Still, it doesn’t change the fact that they need to talk. Sherlock counts it down to four conversations in total, at least. He’s certain John is just as aware of this fact as he is, but still, Sherlock finds himself unable to think of any plan of action.

Undersea-Rainbows by agirlsname (11K, E, Johnlock) If John ever saw a picture of how Sherlock gazes at him when he isn't looking, things would turn around very quickly for them.

Winning the Goat by ArwaMachine (17K, E, Johnlock) The life that Sherlock and John have together is rather unusual. Sometimes they lounge about the flat with their daughter. Sometimes they flee for their lives from a band of organ-harvesting criminals. Sometimes they shag. Sometimes Sherlock insists upon arguing with John about the Monty Hall problem for weeks on end. Somehow, they love each other. Somehow, it all works.