#and am sort of trying to work on it today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hiruzensux · 1 year

Text

.

#well. i STARTED and ATTEMPT at a drawing yesterday #and am sort of trying to work on it today #which is... something i guess?#havent really touched a pencil in months #so this is an improvement #i'm positive it isn't something i'll be able to pull off the way i want to (if i indeed finish it at all)#but i'm trying to keep trying with it anyway #miserable as it is to want so obsessively to accomplish something that i know is out of reach #i think i DO prefer that over my alternative of just. not wanting literally anything like is usually the case lately #idk why im posting this lol #i mean the drawing itself is relevant (Hiruzen + Enma)#but this is mostly just me angsting abt art struggles and brain problems #idk maybe just as an acknowledgment of my continuing obsession since i don't have anything better to post lmao #anyway.#what the FUCK are proportions

3 notes · View notes

tenshouining · 1 year

Text

Day 2 - Transition. A conversation with your future self. colourless ver. under rm !!

#Trans Jayce Week 2023 #jayce giopara #jayce league of legends #league of legends #arcane league of legends #league of legends fanart #transtism real #i have a class early tomorrow soooo i finished this at a . more REASONABLE time today #tonight? idk. whatever. slay #transition #jayce talis #thats who this ! is supposed to be specifically but itse fine it works either way itll do teehee #meowing loudly . the colours on this gave me sooo much trouble #fun pose!!!!!!!!!!!!! colouring makes me murderous #man of progress my ass. man of horrible colur harmonies and unessesary additions to the pallette (looking at you yellow sock)#BUT !! all in all i Guess i like this piece :] itse a more ambitious pose than id usually try and!! other than the legs floating a bit it #has pretty !! decent contact points ect i think so :)#figure studies my belobved youve made me a much better man #i am this close to putting vik + jayce into some sort of artist au thing because autism begs me to mix special interests #viktors the type of freak to learn about sine waves and proper physics terms to properly animate a dress in the wind or something #them working in a studio together? i am crazy. i am insane. autism is overtaking me. im half human and half foxy /ref #shoutout to me for talking so much in thesetags also. stay winning jase nation. if you read to the end of these you get a prize

138 notes · View notes

tough-n-dumb · 6 months

Text

giving into the brainrot and planning a five times kanej fic

#is it probably going to be something a million people have already done? most likely #am i gonna try my damndest to make it unique? sure hope so #i might actually do it as show!kanej i haven��t decided #though following show canon and where they were taking it #it would kind of end up the same. sort of. idk #i need to actually do my work today bc i’m so behind not plot fics😭

7 notes · View notes

countess-of-edessa · 9 months

Text

“are the girls going to help you make pierogis?” well no one else is fucking gonna are they? no one else in this house has functional fucking hands apparently

#every Christmas i think about the time we came home from mass and my father said “finally! now we can relax.” and sat down at his computer #and played video games for the next three hours while my mother and sister and i stood six feet away from him in the kitchen making #200 pierogis.#it’s crazy considering the amount of stuff he gets done for him on a daily basis that I would never even think would be done for me by anyo #like bed made for him/all meals/all dishes/food put on his plate for him because he refuses to do it himself/pretty much all errands #whenever he wants tea he just says that want out loud and it gets brought to him by magic #i mean or anything else! he once said “did you say we were having cappuccinos today?” just to no one in particular and we all knew no one h #had said anything of the sort. and then he was given one!#of course he goes to work from 8-6ish every day but other than one day a week it’s remote and has been for years and i can hear him #he is pretty much never not on the phone gossiping with someone #and i don’t begrudge him having a not physically intensive job or anything but im just trying to think of the things he has to do #he makes my mother mow the lawn. i do it when i am home because i think that’s disgraceful.#if my mother begs hard enough he'll do the least amount of yard work possible if it’s something we can’t physically do by ourselves.#but on a daily basis it’s just go to work/eat the breakfast brought to you/eat the lunch brought to you/come downstairs eat the dinner made #for you/play video games until you go to bed in the bed that was made for you in the morning #and on non work days it’s just eat/video games/bed #and like all this to say #he complains more and has a worse attitude than anyone I have ever known in my life #whenever he encounters a minor inconvenience he's talking about how it never ends and he never gets a chance to rest for once #literally any day that’s not spent in complete and total stagnation is considered a failure #he hates when my mother and sister and i are happy like we can’t even play music and laugh in the kitchen while we cook and clean up after #meals because it distracts him from his video games and his YouTube videos about video games and the war in Ukraine #he gets mad when we laugh too much lol like dude you’re pretty lucky you have daughters who can have fun while doing the dishes #considering you haven’t done them in like 20 years #word to the ladies out there btw: my parents used to clean up after dinner together when they first got married. so watch out lmao

7 notes · View notes

princehendir · 1 year

Text

I wanna make a longer post about how much like... how much labor there is taking place in the used clothing market that most people don't think/care about. But I have to sleep.

#idk why im so hot about this today but i truly genuinely am #short version: before claiming that something is overpriced try to take into account the following:#a lot more work. upfront cost. and time goes into reselling than you think.#its actually a skillset. and to get any real payout you have to treat it like a legit part time job #and if its a physical location that takes donations #a LOT of man hours go into sorting said donations. because people will just donate garbage straight up.#and then after the usable stuff is sorted out it's getting laundered (<- pretty much every second had store launders their clothes #you know how all goodwills smell the same? its because they all use the same detergent)#THEN each individual item needs to be organized & priced.#hours of work before its even put up for sale. and that also involves labor.#because you need people to actually put it out on the floor and ring it up and etc etc #lets not even get started on the admin hours involved if its a larger store #and if its a smaller store or an individual reseller there's a non-zero chance that they are also repairing and/or #altering items before they put them up for sale.#like sometimes the price really is about greed (the bastards of goodwill try to pull shit sometimes)#but often that's actually just what the item costs after processing

23 notes · View notes

ereborne · 5 months

Text

Song of the Day: May 3

"Life Less Frightening" by Rise Against

#song of the day #'I don't ask for much / truth be told I'd settle / for a life less frightening'#another song that when I sing it alone it doesn't sound much like the original but I do so like to sing it #check me stirring my roux humming 'these lives we live test negative for happiness' sweetly to myself #today was Friday and I'm still trying to decide if I'm satisfied with the amount of work I got done this week #I suppose I'll have to be #I had my weekly report meeting and again the updates my boss asked for in the meeting were not the ones she asked me to prepare #so I split-screened her and delivered the prepared updates as I frantically opened and updated the new request #and then when she finished making politely falsely interested sounds (I'm not bitter I'm not I'm not) she asked again for the new update #and by then I had it ready! saved it as I brought up the share-screen and showed it to her #too frustrated in the moment to be properly proud of myself but now it's hours later and I'm feeling a little smug about it #little back-pats for me #I have something like a project timeline worked out for the idiot project #and I did some good work in the garden (nasturtium growing up the post under the bird feeder. very pleased it took the transplant so well)#and I sooooort of sorted the freezer stuff. kind of. mostly we ate the things I wanted to rearrange but I've got a plan for moving forward #the last non-work thing I'd really wanted to accomplish this week was getting my queue set up again here #I've gone through my drafts and done some prep but as you can see the queue isn't actually running again yet #hopefully I'll do that tomorrow. we'll see how it goes #the queue may have to wait until Sunday because I must confess if I can accomplish only one single solitary thing tomorrow #I would like it to be six hours of uninterrupted sleep. may it please the gods I shall rest tomorrow. blessed weekend #edit: wait wait I'm a fool I'm a fool I just typed 'May 3' and still I am a fool #it's May the Fourth!!#happy star wars day my loves if I don't get the queue up today after all #it's because I'm reshuffling everything because I've got a new influx of SW posts to distribute!!

5 notes · View notes

byanyan · 6 months

Text

writes one tiny thing and fucks back off

#again I wanted to do stuff today... and again I am just dissociating lmao #the way I just realized that the usual day to day routine in the apartment shifting lately #is possibly what's had me so fucked up the last week or so #everything has felt off balance and I haven't been able to focus and I have been SO emotional #I think that's it. or part of it at least. the usual stability has been knocked around & I'm not coping #with that little realization... I'm really not gonna try to push myself to make words work #gonna just try to take it easy... bc I'm not functioning super well rn #sorry if I end up shitposting or throwing more headcanons out there again this evening #I want to be here sm... my own dumb oc is my hyperfixation so even when I don't have the energy to write... im thinking about Them #ESPECIALLY while I'm feeling like shit lmaoshfjsg #gonna be considering doing an inbox call of some sort later I think...#so I can feel like I'm doing something but I'm maybe less messy on the dash lmaoooo #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

4 notes · View notes

rosetintedgunman · 7 months

Text

OOC:

#(still out of town! making tracks home today)#(I'm going to try and be REALLY ambitious on the train and make a TLDR of the bio so I can keep working on it but not have the blog paused #plus it feels like rp blogs are moving away from having abouts/bios?? so I still don't know if this is actually going to be worth it??)#(I am still going to write up the full version and share it on the fic blog though.)#just the intern (ooc)#on the tablet #(maybe I'm just old fashioned but I feel like having a 'canon' character shouldn't exempt you from having some sort of backstory)#(gotta get back to this work while the niece is still asleep)

4 notes · View notes

possiblytracker · 1 year

Text

got dragged to a pub quiz with some of my housemates buddies and was fully convinced i was not really gonna have a good time and itd probably be too loud and i wouldnt be much help etc etc etc bc my mood is still not great but i forgot im a competitive motherfucker when it comes down to it and the sheer rush of euphoria that comes from knowing a few more obscure answers that had the rest of the room hemming and hawing is gonna carry me through the next week probably

#when nobody else in the wetherspoons in rural wales knows what the capital of florida is or what you call a female swan #the big ass grin spreading across my face and sheer rush of Power listening to 2 people the next table over arguing over whether #its jacksonville or miami. you Fools. you absolute buffoons. i know more than you/j/j/j/j #i am so exhausted now and the 'yea this is Over you are enjoying urself too late' sadness is creeping back in but it was worth it #we came 3rd...... the prize was a whole pitcher of some cocktail for the group but i do not drink so i just went home to bed #a female swan is called a pen btw i knew that six month long job spouting swan facts at 8 year olds would come in handy someday #IDK i still have a lot to work through but i feel like i should make a slightly less depressing post today skdfjh;;#shoutout to my housemate for always somehow noticing when i have just not left my room in a day and coming to drag me out of it #i was so close to just not eating again (which tbf. i didnt. until like 6pm whoops)#but now i have done that AND touched grass AND socialised AND feel good abt myself a bit.. so.....#i worry a lot that people dont really. notice or care that much when im struggling/when they do that its annoying or a burden so #im very grateful to have people who care about me enough to try and pull me out of it. i hope wherever i end up after this #that i can surround myself with more people like that #man this feels pretty bittersweet to think about as well but in more of a cathartic kinda way. i guess #trying to think abt things slightly more positively so i dont turn into a festering black pit of bad vibes for the next few weeks #and my blog still inexplicably feels like the nicest place to sort through this kinda thing

7 notes · View notes

flowercrowngods · 1 year

Note

Hi! This might not be too helpful but I thought I'd share anyway just in case. You wrote in an ask reply tag that you realized that you are not a person who is okay but that it is alright. That reminded me so much of some of my own realisations about myself. I've come to learn that I cannot handle as much as others. Cannot take on as many tasks, as many meet ups (even friendly), or fill my day with as many things as people around me. It always felt like that meant that I was somehow less or weaker. But runninng into the same phenomenon over and over again made me question things. Also I would never think this about anyone else, this painful way of thinking was only reserved for myself. But with time I figured that maybe it was absolutely okay to have a different capacity for things. This is FINE. I'm not wrong or weak for this. Don't get me wrong, its still a daily struggle to remind myself, but it does get easier to believe.

So when I read this tag of yours I was really hoping that you meant it in a similar way, where this knowledge can bring comfort. You deserve the comfort! Wish I could hug you tightly 🫂

i love that you sent me this ask. i love that you worked (and are working) towards acceptance and respect and gentleness. you deserve that and i’m proud of you 🤍

as for myself, it’s a bit like that too, yeah

“i’m not okay but it’s fine it’s fine we move on anyway”

some days it means “i’m not okay but what the hell am i gonna do about it now except watch cartoons and try not to think until not being okay is not as prevalent and choking anymore”

some days it means “i’m not okay but i’ll try anyway, who knows what good might come of it”

some days it means “i’m not okay but in 10 minutes or an hour or tomorrow might be so i’ll put myself out there”

some days it means “i’m not okay and i haven’t been and maybe never will be and i get to mourn that, i get to be angry for all the past versions of myself who were refused help, i get to do things for them, because we are not okay and we get to be angry but still we deserve nice things”

some days it means “i’m not okay and that’s fine because there are people who will help me”

some days it means “i’m not okay and i will take a break now, i will breathe and try again later, or accept that simply cannot do this right now”

sometimes we just live with that mental limp, and some days it’s worse than others. we can’t pretend like it’s not there — what good would that bring? no, we just live with it. it’s fine, it’s fine, we move on anyway. but still we get to decide how and at what pace and in which direction we move on. it’s just the moving on part that is non-negotiable, and i feel like we deserve more credit for that — mostly from ourselves.

#i’ll go and stop trying to do my homework or work on my projects and presentations and oral exams that are coming up #they won’t let me breathe right now i don’t wanna do this anymore i can’t think i can’t access my brain #so what point is there in making myself cry when what i need to do is accept that i can’t do this today?#i don’t move on from the desperation and breathlessness and sobbin but instead move on from the thing that hurts my brain #i don’t mean to like. be mentally ill on main but goddamn 😂😂#anyway i really do love that you sent me this ask nonnie i don’t know if i’m making sense but in my defense i am crying lmao #and i want 2023 to be over i want summer to be over but i don’t want the winter either and i might actually be in some sort of crisis idk #anyway uh everyone listen to ‘looking for something’ by CASTLEBEAT. that’ll heal you

8 notes · View notes

icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

Text

I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent

#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little #bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the #very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the #house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks #Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a #gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a #treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of #color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration #like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a #auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies #so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk #and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver #but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and #sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an #active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have #been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start #to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've #done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks #with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm #secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool #stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers #me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or #it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for #too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been #investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely #enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed #google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj #LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!

43 notes · View notes

justinefrischmanngf · 10 months

Text

i actually think today is going to be really good for me. and tomorrow i'm going to go to boxing and if my coach is mad at me then ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i'll die 4ever but also it'll be okay. and then SATURDAY. i don't know. but i'll be okay. i'll be Alright. Is! The! Thing! god i need to start writing again........ sunday might be a shitshow but next week !!!!! will also quite likely be a shitshow but i think in a kind of glorious hysteric maybe a bit hypermanic way

#the thing is i AM going to get this essay done before work today even if i have to make a deal with the literal devil for it #and then work today will be good for me i genuinely think just to sort my fucking head out #i don't think i'm going to get the chance to make the soup i wanted to make but that's fine #and boxing tomorrow morning will be excellent and i'll get back to going 3x a week next week !!!!!!!#work Tomorrow should also be good <3 and i'll submit my OTHER essay #and saturday i'll try get out and do something because i think it's important that i remember how to interact with people #sunday . well . we'll hope for the best . i think i need to buy my friend a birthday present on sunday .#guys can you tell i'm terrified out of my mind for how the rest of this week is going to go.........

3 notes · View notes

medinaquirin · 2 years

Text

I would like it very much if my apartment complex would stop shutting off the fucking water with zero prior notice.

#second day of this #I am Displeased.#also they haven't sent out pest control reminders so idk if the bug guy's coming out today or not #my apartment is still a depression disaster zone #which I have been trying to remedy but surprisingly it's hard to do your dishes when your WATER KEEPS GETTING TURNED OFF #yesterday it was just the hot water #and boiling a kettle repeatedly for wash water sucks #and today it's just all of the water #full stop #they're doing some sort of work on a main line in this building #but they didn't bother to tell us what #or how long #didn't even get a text about it yesterday until two hours after I called the office to be like hiiiiii my hot water is off #and then they sent out a 'water is off in 3 buildings while maintenance replaces a part #will be back on within half an hour.'#nnngh

11 notes · View notes

sherlock-is-ace · 1 year

Text

.

#i need to do some brain working out to try to get stronger and not overthink things #but i am upset and feeling very anxious rn (:#i came back from the optician (which i was dreading) and just started sobbing #i'm so overwhelmed right now you have no idea #i went to get my new glasses which were SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE like waaaaay more than i thought #and i don't have much choice of frames either because of all the shit that go into my lenses #but the choices i had today where not only very few but also ugly as fuck #but literally had no choice cause i don't have money and i had to get the cheapest frames to sort of balance how expensive the frames are #and what makes me feel like a piece of shit is that i'm complaining about ''ugly frames'' and whatever when i am able to get them #like i was able to do all the tests i needed to get done i am able to go and buy the glasses with the graduation and the prism and everythi #and i'm SO FUCKING LUCKY that i can and that i have a job that allows me to buy these #and that my family doesn't have to pay them (cause we couldn't)#and i feel like a dick for complaining cause i can fix my eyesight (to an extent) with glasses and i'm not actually blind or anything #but it also sucks that i have to spend literally all of my money just to be able to see #i'm trying so hard to get in the mindset that i'm not getting these glasses for fashion but as medicine #like if i needed a wheelchair it wouldn't be for fashion either #these are aids to help me be healthy and safe and not get run over by a car #even if they look like shit #but you know i'm conflicted :/#angel talks #personal

4 notes · View notes

ereborne · 4 months

Text

Song of the Day: June 7

"STFU!" by Rina Sawayama

#song of the day #calling this one now only semi-arbitrarily--it makes sense to me but is maybe a dumb reason to declare the end of a day #my phone needs to be plugged in #my phone charges when I do--by which I mean I only ever remember/bother to plug it in when I lay down to try to sleep--#and I've got a really good battery and one of those superfast chargers so it usually doesn't die even when I'm struggling #but today is going to be a three day thing sort of--I slept a bunch (accidentally) Thursday afternoon and threw myself off again #and my phone is at 2% and won't load any more firefox tabs so that's it for Friday! hello Saturday the day my littles are coming!!#actually what's been stuck in my head today is the ee cummings poem [as freedom is a breakfastfood]#the first verse I have and the last I always have but the middle ones get muddled around on me. all out of order #'worms are the words but joy's the voice / down shall go which and up come who #breasts will be breasts thighs will be thighs / deeds cannot dream what dreams can do #--time is a tree(this life one leaf) / but love is the sky and i am for you / just so long and long enough'#I love Tolkien for his rockingchair rhythms and cummings for his open-handed nonsense #and I don't have much of a specific reason to pick this song for today #but it was playing earlier and I do love how she blended her maniacal laughter into the music. truly exceptional work

4 notes · View notes

elegyofthemoon · 1 year

Text

day 2 and they are still very confused about what to do w me and i am also confused but at least i have a schedule.... i just need to wait for them to bring it back to me lmao

did have a very eventful morning and that was super cool except i spent it looking like >:O during the whole thing so

#hfjdjdjdjs #like IDK i feel weird bc i feel like i should be doing more??? but what do i do if like??? im just waiting on my assignment #i think the guy ive been sticking w in the meantime has been helpful so i dont mind like walking back in and asking to go w him again #at least i wanna get ONE log in today but yeah....#will depend #also have a lesson today so idk im like. stuck trying to figure out where to go....#i feel bad if im just sitting here doing nothing for two hours till the class #ig i just was expecting more #BUT i liked this morning at least #jfbdjd one other student was also there as well and recognized me and invited me to come along to later stuff if i still am not sorted out #ill probably tag along if it means i get to learn more #anyways. its messy im just super confused lmao #work log #snow speaks

4 notes · View notes