#and also working on other stuff would be good! im still trucking away at the ackar/mata nui fic

[magicalgirlmascot]

Remember when I was like "oh yeah I should be able to finish KNPS by the end of 2022" and now we're heading into the last 2 months of 2023 and it's looking like maybe it'll be done by the end of next year

[gaiathemexicanbeauty]

new neighbor | joel miller x reader (part 2)

parts: 1 2 3

warnings: none! slight suggestive stuff (its his arms. you look at his arms and trust me, i looked at his arms. ur gonna wanna look at his arms.)

word count: 1.5k

still pre-outbreak! :D this part isn’t THAT necessary but it builds tension for “WHEN ARE THEY GONNA MEET” 

i worked on this for a week (it was a little crazy in a good way) and as long as it is, i am still kind of proud of it! we’ll see if i keep writing for joel in the future (i am hyperfixating on the last of us so hard right now bc im also playing the game)

but for now, i hope you like how this turned out and happy reading! don’t forget to check out my ask box even if its just to chat! :D

joel shuts the door to his truck before locking it, tossing the keys only an inch in the air and catching them in his open palm. he heads for the door, looking up for a second then doing a double take. there they were, the neighbor sarah had been so adamant for him to meet. they had their hands on their hips, back turned to him as they faced a box inside the van. slightly amused (and nosey like his daughter), he leaned against the truck to watch what was about to unfold.

you stare down the box in front of you, squinting at it partly because of the sun and partly out of trying to convince an inanimate object to suddenly grow lighter. this was the last of it’s kind, every other box was light enough for you to knock out and start unpacking; that and the repairman would come by to fix your a.c. with no one to help, though, you didn’t know how to get this box out of here: technically (and you about this for a bit), there was an able-bodied man just across the street and sarah had confirmed that with the scolding she had received the day before. but imagine that, you thought to yourself, he doesn’t even know your first name and you’re already asking for help. so going it alone it is. you step forward, hands on either side of the box to pull it to the edge of the van’s opening. wrapping your arms around it, you take a deep breath and start to take a step back; bad idea. you hadn’t anticipated the weight, stumbling backwards with a short gasp as you prepare to meet concrete. “woah, woah, i got it.”

the weight in your arms is still there, leaving you with your knees bent in an attempt to keep yourself upright. “we’ll carry it over to the door together and i’ll take it the rest of the way. that sound alright?” the slightly strained voice across from you says, making you look up. oh. you meet his dark eyes and nod wordlessly as you tighten your hold on the box. “watch your feet.” he says, taking steps backward to your front door. you try to take in your surroundings like he says but you can’t take your eyes off his arms; does that t-shirt fit him like that all the time or only on the rare chances that he flexes? he suddenly takes the box out of your arms, turning to drop the box onto the floor as gently as possible. “um, thanks. thank you.” you say, clearing your throat as you tear your eyes away from the floor to look him in the eye. it’s quiet between you two; not much else left to say. “um, my name’s joel. i live right over there just across the street.” he outstretches his hand for you to shake and you take it a little too quickly. oh wow. his grip is firm and you can feel the callouses there before he pulls away, leaving your hand to hang in the air uselessly in the air for a few seconds. “i’m y/n. i had a feeling that was you the other day. i met-” “my daughter. yeah, sorry about her, she’s just...excitable is all.” joel says with quiet sigh but you can see the hint of a smile on his face, the flash of affection in his eyes.

“oh she’s no trouble. in fact, i let her know she can come over whenever she likes, but there is work waiting to be done here.” you say with a grin, taking a few steps back to sit on the box joel had just put down; “i’d offer you a seat but i barely have one myself.” you wince. “well, if it’s fine by you, you can come over to my place. sarah’s at school and my brother’s off to work.” “oh, i don’t want to be a bother.” you say as you start to stand: in no time at all, you’re sitting in joel’s kitchen with the pleasant feeling of a.c.

joel chuckles at the sigh of relief you let out when you drop onto a chair conveniently placed next to the air conditioning. “that whole fucking house is an OVEN, good god...” you murmur as you let the cool air hit your face. “now, i’d volunteer to fix it for you, but i don’t think i’d last a damn minute in there without sweating like a pig.” joel says, offering you a beer which you gladly take; without hesitation, you angle the edge of the metal top against the table before slamming your fist down onto the table onto the bottle’s head until the bottle makes a fizzing sound that signals you that it’s open. you smile in satisfaction at the hissing sound it makes before realizing what you did, giving joel a ‘sorry’ look. “oh, don’t act all hurt about it. lord knows how many times me and tommy’ve done that.” he says as he unscrews the metal top with little effort. the two of you sit in comfortable silence, the only sound being the whir of the a.c. or the sound of the glass hitting the table. joel was surprised at himself, not only for really taking the time to walk over to you, but to invite you into his house so soon? tommy would probably get a laugh out of that.

“so what brings you to austin? job?” “oh, no, i’m studying at UT. didn’t really get the chance when i was younger, so no time like the present, huh?” you say, taking a long swig of your drink. “that’s mighty admirable. i...was having sarah around my prime college time, can’t say i wouldn’t do it all over again.” joel says, finger playing with the peeling label on his beer. he looks up when you shrug, meeting your eyes as you rest your chin on your palm. “being a father is admirable. i’m sure she looks up to you.” joel scoffs at that but smiles nonetheless, taking a sip from his drink. it’s strange to him how natural this all feels to him, even the silence is welcome despite how little the two of you know one another. “um, what about you? you an austin native?” “born and raised.” “perfect.” you say with much more enthusiasm than before, both of you sitting a little bit taller now. “i’ve been eating ham sandwiches and maruchan for the past week. my fridge and things like that don’t come for 2 more days so i need some recommendations. got any places i could never go wrong with?” you laugh when joel whistles and sits back, growing visibly more comfortable. “where to begin.” he starts, smiling at the way you shrug and take a sip of your drink.

sarah waves to tommy as he drives off, letting herself into the house. she’s about to announce her arrival before she hears sudden laughter from the kitchen; that didn’t sound like joel. she walks over to the kitchen doorframe, peeking her head in as discreetly as possible. what a scene, indeed. your chair was next to joel’s now, your head tipped back in laughter and your hand on joel’s arm. sarah bit her lip to hide the smile on her face at the (somewhat unusual) sight of a smile on her dad’s lips; of course, his arms remained crossed against his chest. they make hushed conversation, a few sarcastic “oh, really?”s and “yeah?”s leaving them as they talk about something only they know. sarah finally raps her knuckle on the doorframe, making you and joel jump a bit. “christ, um, hey, kiddo. didn’t hear you come in.” joel says after clearing his throat. “sorry. didn’t want to interrupt anything.” sarah says with a shrug as she drops her backpack on one of the empty chairs; she pretended not to notice the way you were trying to distance yourself from joel. “that’s alright. i’ve overstayed my welcome anyhow.” the two of you stand together, joel saying a quick “don’t you worry, i’ll get that” when you try to clear the bottles from the table. “well, i’ll be off then. you guys have a good night and i’ll see you next week, joel.” you say, smiling at the two of them before making your way out of the house.

joel freezes at your last comment as sarah looks at her dad with a growing grin. “what’s next week?” joel drops the bottles into the trash, his back turned to sarah. “none of your business.” “oh, joel. see you next week, JOEL.” sarah says in an exaggerated flirty tone, intertwining her fingers together and propping her chin on her hands. “stop it.” he grumbles but can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips. “you’re getting soft, old man. doesn’t look good on you.” sarah jokes to which joel simply scoffs. she laughs as she makes her way towards the living room, leaving her dad in the kitchen with his thoughts. he looks up for a second, looking out the kitchen window that lets him see your yard. a small smile tugs at his lips when he sees the lights in the house go out before he finally walks towards the living room.

MY HANDS ARE SO SWEATY FROM TYPING THIS SO FAST WOOOAHHHH

im patting myself on the back bc i managed to write this while simultaneously doing english homework (college is a pain in the butt) so i hope that you all enjoy this! :D

would yall want to see a part 3 to this? let me know in the replies! it would probably be the date to be honest and maybe a little smooch ;D

BUT FOR NOW i hope you all have a good rest of your day/night/afternoon and stay safe! <33

LOVELIES <3 (taglist): @lokilover476 @littleshadow17 @avengersfan25​ @3zae-zae3 @randomisart​ 

[philtstone]

My kingdom for hopeful-verse Miles and Kamala (platonically preferred) - any prompt you want, but I think 43 could be nice?

#43 -- piggy back rides part of this au im like 394834 years late answering this but i do finally have something to offer. what was originally meant to be a touching scene where the gang finally runs into kamala's family ended up as ... this ... because the pacing was a disaster and i couldnt salvage it. hopefully i will eventually write the other thing. thank u to @foolgobi65 and @firstelevens for being good friends and talking me thru some of my "uuuugh i hate writing" moments. we didnt quite make it thru but something definitely was achieved.

They break into Walmart through the smelliest part of the garden center. Miles has to carry Kamala piggy back style to do it, and so almost doesn’t catch AJ when he slips and falls face-first towards a big bag of fertilizer. AJ starts giggling upside down beneath the greenhouse window, one leg held up by last-second webbing and the other gripped in Bucky’s right hand. 

When Miles has pictured post-apocalyptic Walmarts in the past, he’s always imagined them to be abandoned. Like maybe some trashed empty shelves, or flickering lights. Spooky wind blowing through the place. That kind of shit. If they wanted to enter one, they’d break the door down, badass style, with the butt of their cool post-apocalyptic rifle.

Miles played through The Last of Us with Uncle Aaron and only got creeped out like, twice; he knows how this stuff works. 

They’d sneak through the empty place all vigilant (that’s a word Dad loved) and he’d grab all the Tylenols from the top most shelf no one else had reached while Peter or Bucky or Sam kept a careful eye trained on their surroundings, and if bad guys showed up, they’d do badass stuff and then drive away tires screeching in their cool getaway pickup truck.

Miles – who should really know better, given the multiple months of this world he’s lived through by now – thinks the reality of life is exponentially more stupid.

“Exponentially,” recites AJ, who has recovered from his near-fall (though Bucky still looks stressed) and is evidently getting more and more bored of holding tightly onto Aunt Sarah’s hand by the minute. “When somethin’ grows by means of a ma-the-matical component.”

He sing-songs mathematical, though he’s a smart enough kid to keep it all to a whisper. While AJ drags his feet, Aunt Sarah, who has been tense since they stepped foot out of Madame G’s house five hundred cross-country miles ago, and is tenser now post AJ-in-fertilizer disaster,  continues flicking her eyes around sharply. She’s fisted her free hand in her hoodie pocket where Miles knows she keeps her knife. Miles wants to tell her that he’s sure his spidey sense would notice if there were any bad guys behind the ant-be-gone displays, definitely, but a niggling little voice in his own head is also stressed out. 

“Is that right, baby?” she asks in an absent whisper.

“Momma, you gotta tell me if I got exponentially right.”

“You got it right, AJ,” says Miles.

AJ heaves the quietest Loud Sigh Miles has ever heard, “Like, we are exponentially not finding any drugs.”

“Pain medication,” Kamala mutters immediately, from over Miles’s shoulder. She twisted her ankle when they all jumped off the moving train.

… Yeah. Life’s been pretty crazy recently. Miles wonders what Dad would say about it.

“I don’t need drugs.”

“That’s exponentially false,” AJ offers.

“Technically,” agrees Miles, “ibuprofen is a drug.” 

“Um, there’s a total difference between necessary medication and drugs?” 

“Morally?”

“Yes,” Kamala hisses. Then she frowns. “No! Wait, no. Sometimes. Ugh – Miles!”

“You’re the one bein’ a hater,” he says, low voice, grinning. “It’s okay, we’ll steal you Tylenol instead.”

“Good,” she mumbles.

“... Which is also technically a drug –” 

Miles gets the last word before all three of them are quelled by Bucky’s silent raised eyebrow.

The reality of life — so much less cool than Miles’s imagination and video games — is that while the old Roxxon big box by the pier in NOLA had been ransacked and half cleaned out ages before Miles and Peter started sneaking in and out, this place is stocked. 

There’s stuff from the floors to the ceilings, and it’s making Miles a little dizzy with the sensory feedback. 

“Maybe it’s ‘cause we’re almost in Texas,” Kamala whispers wonderingly into his ear, as they peer around a corner at a giant car tire display.

It’s not like there are customers inside or anything, which makes the whole thing stupider. Just a big ass Walmart full of shit being guarded by bad dudes with guns, but just for that, they gotta sneak around.

“B.”

“Hm.”

“You know I don’t like splitting up,” Aunt Sarah’s voice comes out in a tense whisper.

They’re camped by electronics, trying to map their route. Miles can’t sense anyone in the aisles immediately close to them but they can still hear the occasional walkie talkie sound off and the distant opening and closing of the warehouse doors on the other side of the building, where the real action is happening. 

Aunt Sarah’s expressed this sentiment before, twice by now actually. The first time was when the whole idea was introduced. Like, hey, wouldn’t it be easier if we split up, and you guys grabbed groceries and jacked one of the big cargo trucks they’ve got sitting in the back lot with GreatValue: Part of Your Community plastered over the side, while we got Kamala’s pain meds? 

There was a whole thing where everyone argued about who was the best at hotwiring trucks. Peter and Sam eventually won out over Bucky, who Miles has a niggling suspicion wouldn’t have left Aunt Sarah and AJ and Kamala anyway. Ned and MJ are doing groceries, with the help-slash-protection of their new and terrifying Wakandan friend Captain Ayo, who Miles thinks actually probably has great taste in snacks.

“I know,” Bucky says, a very quiet statement out of the side of his mouth. His eyes are on the aisle in front of them, and the giant tire display, but something about the way he says it is like, he gets something Aunt Sarah isn’t saying that none of the rest of them can. Kamala claims they’re madly in love, which she told Miles about in the strictest confidence. Kamala is a big believer in being madly in love. Miles isn’t so sure, but the exchange does remind him of his mom and dad, which is an emotion so strong Miles’s already tripping senses stumble over themselves to cope with it, so he shoves it down and ignores it entirely. 

He focuses on Kamala’s uncomfortable squirming instead. The piggy-back ride is because her ankle hurt too much to walk on, and Miles figures it’s probably really sore by now.

“You okay?” he whispers, just to her.

“Ugh,” she admits. She wouldn’t have said anything like that to the adults, he knows.

“So I shouldn’t put you down?” She’d spent ten minutes arguing that she was too heavy for him, outside.

“I’d have a really bad limp,” she sighs, sounding miserable. Bucky’s still kind of limping too, on account of getting mauled by a giant rat thing. That’s what Sam said, anyway.

“Besties in limping,” Miles says, which is worth it for Kamala’s quiet giggle. Aunt Sarah hears them and reaches out her free hand to rub Kamala’s back.

“Escalator route,” Bucky decides on finally. AJ looks up with large and solemn eyes, hopeful that they’re finally gonna get a move on. “There by the freezers, there are enforcers. We go behind the escalators, we won’t run into anyone.”

Aunt Sarah stares hard at the frozen foods aisle, then at Bucky. “How do we know, behind the escalators –?”

“Miles,” Bucky whispers. It’s so low Miles could pretend not to hear him if he really wanted, which is kind of impressive given that they’re sardined so close together Miles is basically breathing in the poor guy’s ear.

“I don’t sense anyone,” Miles says, maybe a little less confidently than he means. Kamala shifts her hands nervously where they clasp around his neck, and the plastic beads from one of her bracelets dig into his collar bone. He clears his throat. “Remind me again why I couldn’t have just grabbed us this shit on my own and got out?”

“Zappy invisibility doesn’t make up for the power of friendship?” Kamala offers.

Bucky shoots them another look over his shoulder. 

“No. Interstate is on the other side of the lot anyway. Going around would’ve been more dangerous.”

“Dude,” Miles says, “how do you do that. You’re like barely moving your mouth.”

“Uncle B used to be a ninja,” AJ whispers solemnly from the floor, now completely resigned to his boredom.

“It’s ‘cause his mom was from New Jersey,” says Kamala. “Everyone from Jersey has mad skills.”

Bucky makes a face, like, why did I ever tell a bunch of kids about my life. Miles is sympathetic.

“I think being from Jersey should count against you in a court of law,” Miles says. “Anyway, no way, B’s a New Yorker.”

“His energy gives matrilineal skill adoption,” Kamala whispers.

“What’s matrilinear?” asks AJ.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” mutters Bucky.

Miles and Kamala grin; AJ makes a shocked Pikachu face at the cuss.  

Aunt Sarah looks tense again. “James.”

He sighs, recalibrates, turns to her: “We’ll be fine.” The hard staring thing resumes. After a second Bucky’s mouth moves, and this time no sound comes out at all, except it kind of looks like he’s saying honey. At any rate, Aunt Sarah’s expression softens. Miles feels Kamala breathe in sharply and dig her fingers into his shoulder like dude, dude, see?! 

Bucky turns back to look at them and Miles tries to school his expression into something totally chill and not interested in the grown-up drama.

“Clear line of sight. You guys good for the rear?”

Miles puffs his chest out a little. “You kidding? With our combined powers?”

“Me and Miles are like a quadruple threat for government watch lists,” Kamala whispers, a crooked tilt to her grin.

Miles tries very hard not to snort out loud. He makes a dumb choking sound instead; Bucky sighs.

The reality of dystopian Walmarts might suck, but it's kind of nice that he has Kamala around, to make dumb jokes about it with. With that thought, they plow forward, to secure the drugs.

"Pain meds!" Kamala hisses, and Miles grins.

[pbandjesse]

We are driving back home. The memorial service was thankfully more about supporting each other. I did not cry. If I think about it to hard I might. But I made it through a day that could have been a disaster but worked out because I made it happen. Im only a little proud of that.

I did not sleep great. I fell asleep easier then expected. But woke up with James's alarm and I couldn't fall back asleep. I was anxious about the day. I would get up at 7 when my brother texted me and I had to ask James to handle that while I got ready.

I would feel alright. A little absent of myself. Like I look in the mirror and I'm not connecting to my own eyes. That happens sometimes. But I tried to look good and was happy with my face and hair. The trim I gave myself last night I think helped.

James changed our sheets while I finished getting myself together. Then we hugged and I was off.

I forgot to bring any breakfast and I didn't want to stop anywhere. I also forgot the keys to the art building. But I was not interested in going inside. So I just didn't. I would make it work when I got to camp.

It was a nice drive. And I got there right before 8. And I got to be helpful right away because there was a guy at the bottom of the hill who was lost.

He was there to reseed the field but it was literally his third day and he was a little confused and wasn't given enough info. So I'm glad I was able to help. Once I got parked at the art building I walked down to the office and got Heather on the phone and she told me to send him to the feild. And I was able to help him figure out how to get his truck over there. We walked the feild together and I opened the fence.

While I waited for him to drive around I went to see if we had cake left in the freezer. Which we did so I was excited for breakfast cake. And then I called the doctor's.

They were really nice about it and changed my appointment to 1. So I could stay at camp until 1230. They were really chill about it. Which would be surprising later when I found out that everyone who normally comes on Monday came today because of the holiday (including me) and so they had twice as many patients as normal. And we're training two new injection people. So it was quite a day and I appreciate how kind they were getting my appointment changed.

I would help lawn guy move all the astroturf and collected any sports equipment I could find. And let him know I would be on the porch if he needed anything.

I went down to the office and set myself up at the table. I used my phone's hotspot since I couldn't get on the wifi with the door locked. But that's fine. I ate my, still mostly frozen, cake and worked on my laptop.

I finished tightening up a few things in my lesson plans and making sure the supply list was good to go. I would start making a list of where the tribes were speaking about are on the continent so I could circle that on the different maps. So each program will have a visual for where they are speaking about. Which I think will help them figure out what different natural resources would be available.

Heather would show up around then. She said we need to get me an office key. I'm not to worried about it. I will probably be more worried when it's cold out. Though I was really sweaty and was happy to get some AC.

Heather would help me get on the wifi and showed me how to scan things to my laptop. And then would spend the next hour working on my maps.

Lou, Alexi's dad, would come to talk to Heather about horses. Continues to forget who I am but remembered James. Handsome Jimmy as he call them. We talked about his granddaughter who is maybe going to Temple. For field hockey. So I got to talk about the nice things about philly. That was fun.

I would take a walk to the art building with the extra key. I put away the stuff I brought. And then took a walk to the nature center but it was locked. Heather likes my idea about the snail tank but we need to find the key to the building. Joe probably had it but he wasn't around. Maybe tomorrow I'll figure that out.

Heather would have me start collecting some emails. Which was not as straight forward as I was expecting. But I got some at least. And once I was at a good stopping point me and Heather went on a walk to woodlands.

We would write a list of things that I could work on down there. Painting. Creating. Cleaning. Moving furniture. It was nice to talk through the projects and the spaces. I'm pretty happy about it. But I was also starting to get slightly a little stressed about needing to leave for my appointment.

We would finish up exactly on time though. We got back to the office. Where Elizabeth and Alexi were and I said hello and then goodbye!

I stopped to fill my water and then I drove the 40 minutes to the rhumatologist. I got there 1 minute before my appointment.

Not that it mattered. They had my paperwork at the bottom of the pile, because I'm the last one usually. And they would get me back quick. But I could hear everything. And that's when I heard that they were crazy busy and backed up. So I would have a wait. About 49 minutes. Ah well.

The nice lady came and did my injections though and they hurt a bit today. But it's fine. I was glad it was done. I made my appointment for next month. And was out the door before 2.

I stopped over at the Dunkin and got munchkins to share with James. And then home.

When I got back to the house I was excited that there were packages. The screen protector came for my tablet. And a new dress I ordered. And a book. I found James trying to iron their shirt but the iron wasn't actually on so that was funny.

I got overheated trying to put the screen protector on. But I did my best and it's mostly correct. I'm just glad it's safer now. I was super sweaty though.

So I took a shower. And got dressed again. James made me a bagel. And I had an hour to just sit and calm down before we had to be on the road again.

We left at 345. And it wasn't a bad drive at all. We didn't have to deal with any traffic. We weren't driving directly into the sun. I was anxious but only a little. I brought my knitting and completed one square. We passed Jess's exit and we waved. We arrived in the town at 530.

We went to Wawa for gas. James felt weird that someone pumped our gas. But that's just jersey. And then we went inside and got sandwiches to eat in the car.

I was mostly just focusing on being with my husband. And that I was looking forward to hugging my family. I couldn't handle the other emotions. Those are very deep and I can't focus on them or I'll fall apart.

When we got to the funeral home I was convinced we were in the wrong place. There were a lot of people and I didn't recognize anyone so I was sure I messed up. And then my mom and my brother weren't answering me so I was sure I messed up.

But thankfully Steve would pull up and my parents and Felicia were with him. Everything was alright again.

And it was a lot of people. Sabrina's friends. Audrey's friends. AA people. Bikers. People in memorial sweatshirts. Which the turnaround in having that made was impressive.

We went in the line to see all the pictures of Sabrina. I forgot how dark her hair was when she was younger. Seeing all the pictures of her with friends. She looked so grown up.

Hugging everyone helped. Audrey and Nadine both kept saying thank you to me and James for coming. For driving so long. But honestly the only thing I could say was I wish I didn't have to be here. I wish this didn't happen. But there wasn't a chance I wasn't going to be here. I moved things to make sure I would be. It was important.

There was no service. I am glad. I would have lost it. Instead it was just everyone talking and supporting each other. It was good to be around all the people who loved Sabrina. And I particularly loved talking to my brother and Felicia. And I missed them both and it was just so nice to talk to them. The little moments feel so important. I am very worried how swollen my brother's hands were. He might have an infection from slamming his hand in a door and also poison ivy?? I hope he sees someone.

I also was glad to be with my parents. To talk to my aunt Nadine and uncle Dave who I love so much.

There was a lot of hugging. A lot of laughing. We were being as ridiculous as we normally are when we are all together. The Lentzs don't know how to now start talking about things that are probably not appropriate. We can't stop laughing when it's probably not appropriate. We supported each other by not talking about it but talking about everything else.

I enjoyed hearing about who was who from mom. And I told Nadine they need to come visit us. They went on a not great bus tour through Baltimore so I hope we can give them a better tour soon!!

But then it was time to go. The memorial was slowing down. People were leaving. We had many hugs. Nadine gave me a rose form the large bouquet. Me and Sabrina shared that middle name. I will dry some of the petals. I'll frame them.

Me and James got in the road. And we are about half way home now. I am going to finish my sandwich. And listen to this podcast. And try to just think about the good stuff. I love Sabrina and I will keep her in my thoughts forever.

I hope you are all taking care of yourselves. I love you all. Goodnight my friends. Until next time.

[virussyart]

a funny adhd psa: i cannot control the rate at which my brain hyperfixates! there are no circumstances nor events that lead to this, im just feeling The Shame. hehe

i have the adhd pretty strongly. hyperfixations are a well-known and common part of it. it's self-soothing. i cant do much about it except mask it, which, like any kind of masking any other behavior, takes a lot of energy! on good days, I do have that energy and can engage in stuff more healthily, but on other more stressful days I don't have the energy to mask and it starts to consume me again.

I HATE it. I can tell you, if there was a magic pill or set of steps to allow me to just engage with interests better, I would've been the first person to take it. There is not. I just need to hope I can take the stress out of the equation (if it's even within my control) so I can hyperfixate less, or, if I can't, divert it to positive actions and hobbies, and, if I also can't do that, hope I have the energy to allocate to masking without burning myself out. I cannot Magic it away. I cannot Magic away the adhd.

It's definitely still up to me to control how it affects other people, but it never really stops being a constant debuff on my mind and energy. It's the 'hey, you know how you have huge attention-prioritization and focusing issues? here's the 'solution', free dopamine fix and the feeling of finally being focused on something- as long as it's on this one thing ;) '

I would love to be normal about things. I would love to be able to snap my finger and suddenly not have adhd. Alas, it is work, very slow work with slow progress fighting against what's essentially a truck going down a hill.

In no way is this meant to imply you can't be uncomfortable or annoyed by it, it is not an excuse (people tend to get excuse, justification, and explanation mixed up real often?) but at Least understand where this is coming from please and Thank

[food4dead]

Ive gotta say this out loud somewhere bc it's eating my brain like a worm. I had an off putting and creepy coworker at an old job of mine that i constantly butted heads with. There were rumors that our boss's boss got him the job (turned out to be true) and he was a genuine creep. Specifically to the girls. And incompetent. Like this guy sucked, no one liked him and i was like fucking batman to the other girls that worked there bc if he cornered them either literally or just into a convo, i would descend on him and tell him to fuck off.

He once offered to tie my apron for me. I told him id rather get third degree burns on my chest from steaming milk than have his hands near my ass. A few weeks later he offered to come with me, alone, to the storage room to "help" me get the stuff we needed. I looked down my nose at him and asked him in what way exactly did he think he was going to be helpful in this endeavor, when he couldn't even put away the truck in that same room in under 5 hours? He said nothing and avoided me after that. I talked shit to my partner about him constantly.

Lo and behold, bf gets a job at that same place years later but as a manager. And that guy is still there! So obviously id primed him to expect the worse of this guy and he did for a while. But then, he starts telling me about how that guy's doing at work now.

He's no longer incompetent, and is actually quite helpful. Ok, good, id sure fuckin hope so after being there for 3+ years.

He's not really a creep, he actually keeps to himself most of the time and is polite to everyone he talks to, especially the girls. ...ok, maybe i actually humbled him more than i thought. Also good.

Then, slowly, my partner starts talking about this guy as if they're friends. Telling me about something funny Guy did at work today, how Guy covered the grill so someone else could go on break and it was a huge help, stuff like that. I asked him about it finally and he was like yeah, Guy really isnt that bad. A little awkward sometimes but i guess he's changed since you've known him. I say it's probably just bc you're also a man but whatever it's not like i have to deal with him anymore.

But then. Partner gets invites to dnd with some of his other coworkers, one of them is a dm apparently and wants to set up a campaign with work friends. Partner goes a couple times, establishes that this is actually fun, and invites me to come next time to watch bc that's what i like to do. So i go. And Guy is there.

Apparently he lives here with 2 other roommates, one of them being the dm that organized this. The other being the son of the director that got him his job. (That's how i was able to confirm the rumors) It's almost incomprehensible to me that Guy is living with roomates. Peacefully. But he is. I walk in with Partner and Guy and I make eye contact. We stare at each other for a second before he approaches me. Instantly I'm ready for a fight, like i felt my face flush and got hit with an adrenaline rush.

He offers me his hand, to shake. I never broke eye contact but i took it. He welcomed me to their home. He told us goodbye when we left. And that was it. He had fun during the campaign but wasnt the abrasive and off kilter person i remembered. I was shaken bc i find it hard to believe that ppl can actually change.

I keep going with Partner to these campaigns whenever i can and it becomes increasingly obvious to me that Guy actually has changed. I obviously still make him nervous, though, as he's especially polite and courteous to me when im there. I'll usually bring my switch with me and play while listening to them run their campaign, and Guy offers me his switch charger every time i do so since the first time i accepted the offer. But he actually is polite and helpful and kind and. Not creepy anymore. And i cant wrap my head around how that happened.

I ask Partner about it eventually and he tells me it actually was the way i treated Guy + his job being threatened (for bs work politics reasons) that ironed him out. Im genuinely shocked but accept this answer. I never really think about why Guy was like that in the first place, just accepted he was a cishet man acting like they do.

Now this brings us to the present. I dont remember why but Partner and i were talking about Guy and how much i used to hate him. I wonder out loud, for the first time, why he was like that. Partner drops the bombshell on me that Guy was a FUCKING FARM BOY. HE WAS RAISED ON A RANCH. DOING RANCH WORK WITH HIS BROTHERS. THIS JOB IS BASICALLY HIS FIRST REAL JOB. THAT'S WHY HE DIDNT FUCKING KNOW HOW TO ACT AROUND OTHER PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, IN A SETTING LIKE THAT. HE DIDNT REALIZE HOW MUCH BIGGER HE WAS THAN THE GIRLS THERE AND THAT WHEN HE GOT TOO CLOSE TO THEM TO TALK TO THEM HE WAS LITERALLY BACKING THEM INTO A CORNER AND LOOMING OVER THEM. HE DIDNT REALIZE THAT OFFERING TO TIE MY APRON WOULD COME OFF AS CREEPY. HE WANTED MY FUCKING HELP TO LEARN THE STORAGE ROOM BETTER BC HE KNEW THAT I KNEW IT AND THATS WHY HE ASKED TO COME WITH ME THAT ONE TIME. AND I JUST. I DONT KNOW.

I'm irritated that i didnt catch that but i have reasons to assume the worst of men that i work with. And now im trying to reconcile this new information about Guy with my previous and current image of him as a maladjusted, creepy weeb turned normal guy but still a weeb. The worst part of it all is that my dad was also a farm boy and acted odd and weird when he was a teen/young adult. He's still got weirdo tendencies as an adult. And as soon as Partner told me Guy was raised on a ranch, my brain drew up my mental image of him alongside my dad and started making comparisons.

I just. Dont know how to feel about him still. My inital gut reaction to the guy was "Creepy. Bad. Not safe. Be vigilant." and unfortunately bc of the way i am, it's extremely difficult for me to change or get past my initial read of someone. So whenever i see Guy i still get the initial gut drop feeling but then i have to scoop it out of my intestines and tell it to get a grip. It would have been so much easier if he had just stayed a creep (<- joking). But i am glad he grew as a person and no longer makes his feminine coworkers uncomfortable. But that means now i have to, too. And im just now realizing this is the first time im having to do something like this. I guess that's why i cant stop thinking about it

[frogtanii]

℗ me and my husband

atsumu x fem!reader (poker face ending)

series masterlist

♡´･ᴗ･`♡

wc. 3.2k (holy shit)

warnings. NOT PROOFREAD, v v soft domestic, marriage :00, smut!! (is marked off!!), soft dom!tsumu, hair pulling (giving), unprotected sex, slight praise kink, pretty vanilla ngl

an. can be read as a one shot but u might be confused lmfao also this took SO LONG OMFG also also heavily unedited, take things w a grain of salt lmfao anyways don’t forget to feed me ahaha m rlly proud of this so i hope y’all like it <33

it was moving day and atsumu was about to lose his mind.

today was the official day of the hyper house disbandment and while most of the members were still figuring out new living arrangements and thus remaining past the deadline, you were one of the few trying to get out as soon as possible.

makki and mattsun were so excited to have you move in, they showed up early that morning to help you pack. now, it was around 1p and it was almost time for you to go. you still had a few more boxes to go but things were speeding right along.

normally, atsumu would be right by your best friends helping you out but he was currently in the middle of a breakdown.

you were leaving. leaving. he had no idea when he’d see you again (even though you promised to meet up weekly to catch up), if he would ever see you again. for all he knew, makki and mattsun would just hide you away forever, never to be seen again.

okay, so he was panicking.

it was just... atsumu was in love with you. he’d known for a while (way longer than he’d like to admit) and he selfishly thought he’d have more time with you so that he could work up the courage to confess. but now? you were like three boxes away from a distance that he didn’t know if he or your relationship could recover from.

it wasn’t that he was bad at long distance but the tragic events that the house brought, brought the two of you closer together and he didn’t want to lose that.

atsumu let out a groan and dropped his head against the wall, his mind running with scenario after scenario, all ending in failure and utter embarrassment.

“hey, you okay?” you called out, a large box cradled delicately in your arms. as atsumu turned from the plaster in front of him, he allowed himself a moment to take you in.

you were wearing short athletic shorts, worn converses, and his t shirt. a thin sheen of sweat covered your skin, the lights above reflecting off of it, giving you a warm glow.

of course you looked hot moving boxes.

you called his name again in concern and he immediately felt his heart clench in guilt. you’d already been through so so much and here he was fantasizing about you instead of being there for you like a good friend would.

atsumu let out a sigh and shot you a wide, albeit empty, smile before walking over to you and taking the box out of your hands. the furrow in your brows told him you saw through his expression but he ignored it and made a show of lifting your box above his head and carrying it to mattsun’s car.

“see, what would ya do without these guns angel?” he joked, placing the cardboard into the trunk. you rolled your eyes and poked him in the side playfully. “die, probably.”

the butterflies in his stomach kicked up at the underlying sincerity in your voice but he tried his best to overlook it. it was much harder than it seemed, especially when you looked at him with such fondness in your gaze that made him want to kiss you senseless.

gulping hard, he quickly turned away from you, busying himself with fitting your things in the truck like a game of tetris.

“atsumu.” your voice was firm but pleading and he didn’t dare look at you for fear of spilling everything right then and there. “wow, ya sure got a lot of stuff, huh? wonder how much of this was bought with ushijima’s money,” he started to ramble but thankfully he was interrupted by makki whooping as he walked out of the house.

“last box bitches!” you shot atsumu one final worried look before running over to makki and mattsun, yelling the whole way there.

atsumu was grateful your back was to him because he couldn’t hide the affectionate look that overtook his face, a soft smile spreading across his lips as he watched you hip bump your friends while cackling wildly.

god, he was so in love with you.

what was he going to do when you moved out and away? what if you found someone, someone how loved you as much as he did (not possible)? he would wish for your happiness even at the expense of his own but... what if you both could be happy?

caught up in his thoughts, atsumu didn’t register you saying your goodbyes to the remaining members until you were finally in front of him.

“i’m gonna miss living with you tsum.” you unceremoniously launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest. his heart leapt violently at the contact and he prayed to every deity above that you didn’t hear it underneath your head.

he barely managed to hug you back before you pulled away, your eyes slightly teary and red. “um, well, makki and mattsun are waiting for me so uh,” you trailed off looking back at the van and your friends who were so (im)patiently waiting for you to join them.

atsumu’s breath quickened as you scooted a bit away from him, truly getting ready to leave. no, no, it couldn’t end like this, awkward and distant. no, he wasn’t going to let it.

“atsumu?” you asked worriedly, reaching out a hand to touch him when he didn’t respond but he couldn’t hear you. he felt hot all over, like he was going to explode or magically combust if he didn’t get the words out into the air.

“tsum, are you oka-“ “i’m in love with ya.”

you paused, shock written clearly all over your face. the fear of rejection slammed into atsumu like a brick, the feeling settling in the pit of his stomach like a rock but he still didn’t stop.

“i’m in love with ya and i have been for forever. yn, yer beautiful but yer face and body aren’t even the best part of ya, even though they’re pretty damn great. yer just-“

“tsum-“

“-yer so kind, especially when ya don’t need ta be. yer badass but ya care fer others so deeply and ya make me wanna be a better person. ya make me a better person. i know ya-“

“tsumu please-“

“-ya probably don’t feel the same and that’s alright but i needed ta tell ya, before ya leave and fall in love with some other scrub, just in case we can be happy together and-“

all of a sudden, your hands were buried in his shirt and you were pulling him close to meet your lips with his, your mouths meshing together in a soft and passionate kiss.

bliss. atsumu was in sheer bliss. your lips were as soft as he thought they would be as they moved with his, his hands coming up to grip your waist and pull you even closer to him.

sooner than he would have liked, his lungs started burning for air so he pulled back but not very far, instead resting his forehead against yours.

“i was trying to tell you i liked you too, idiot,” you muttered, your eyes still closed as you spoke. he chuckled, a wide grin overtaking his entire face as he really took in what you were saying.

you liked him back. you liked him. holy shit.

but instead of saying any of that, he decided to tease you a bit. “just like? if i recall, i just confessed my undying love for ya.”

you pulled back with a faux scoff, hitting him in the arm with a huff. “shut up you ass. of course i love you too.” you couldn’t keep your real smile off your cheeks while you confessed, your soft expression bringing another wave of desire over atsumu’s body.

“can, can i take ya inside angel?” he allowed his true intentions to be heard in his words, your eyes widening when you figured out what he meant. you nodded vigorously before shooting a look to makki and mattsun. mattsun just waved you off and got into his truck while makki yelled, “get that dick!”

you heated up horribly, grabbing atsumu’s hand and pulling him towards the house and to his room. he allowed himself to be dragged along, sending winks to the other boys as he went until the two of you were standing right in front of his door.

“i love ya,” he whispered, lifting your hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss there. you grinned. “love you too tsum.”

that must have been the final straw because the minute the words left your mouth, he was on you.

••• smut begin•••

pressing you up against the door, atsumu ravaged your mouth, his tongue tangling with yours as he walked you backwards into his room, laying you down on the bed so that he was hovering over you, his hips pressing hard against yours.

instinctively, you ground up into him, rewarding you with a loud groan and a gasp of your name. “fuck angel, yer killing me here,” he laughed breathlessly, rolling his hardness against your thigh. you let out a breathy moan and tangled your hands in his hair to bring him back down to your lips.

as you continued to kiss him, his hands scrambled at your waist, pushing his hands under it to grope at your chest. you giggled at the cold of his fingers but he didn’t pay it any mind, moving down from your mouth to your neck, sucking dark marks into the sensitive skin there.

“ah, shit tsumu,” you tilted your head to the side to give him more access, just as he reached under your bra to tease your nipples. a startled gasp left you, your back arching into his careful touch. “that feel good angel?” atsumu asked, voice low and gravelly as he pinched the delicate bud, drawing another noise from your throat.

you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. you bit your bottom lip while he pulled your shirt and bra off, tossing them somewhere in the room. as he scanned your half naked body, he noticed you quieting yourself and he lightly shook his head. his thumb found its way to your lip, carefully pulling it from between your teeth.

“wanna hear ya angel, let me hear yer pretty noises, yeah?” without letting you respond, atsumu dove back into your chest, suckling one of your nipples into his mouth while toying with the other, a sigh of his name sending a bolt of arousal straight to his loins.

he grinded against you absentmindedly, losing himself in you, eventually switching sides to give the same treatment to your neglected bud.

while atsumu seemed to be having the time of his life attached to your tit, you were getting impatient, your arousal completely soaking through your underwear. you needed more.

tangling your fingers in his blond locks, you attempted to tug him away from your chest but his reaction was unlike anything you could’ve expected. “aahh!” he let out a strangled whine, his hips bucking against your side.

“please, tsumu, need more,” you breathed, his needy reaction not lost on you as pulled his hair a bit harder. you were not disappointed as his eyes rolled back and his mouth opened in a silent moan before dropping his head to your shoulder.

“fuck, fuck, okay angel, i got ya, i got ya.” atsumu swiftly disposed of both yours and his bottoms and underwear before lifting your leg and positioning himself at your entrance.

“tell me if i hurt ya, alright? i love ya,” he smiled down on you, your heart swelling two times at his carefulness. “i love you too,” you replied, watching as his pupils grew and a low groan broke free from his chest.

“oh angel, ‘m gonna ruin ya.” that was the last thing he said before he pushed into you, both of you letting out whimpers as he stretched you open, the blunt head of his cock just a few centimeters shy of your cervix.

your back arched in pleasure, both of your hands scrambling until they found purchase on his back, your nails digging in just when he started to thrust shallowly into you.

“f-fuck, how’re ya s-so fuckin’ tight?” atsumu growled through gritted teeth, every word punctuated with a roll of his hips. you couldn’t respond as you were too overwhelmed with pleasure, his cock rubbing against your g-spot with every slow movement.

speaking of slow, he was moving way too leisurely for your tastes. you needed him to move faster and you knew exactly how to do it.

sliding your hand up from his back, you grabbed a good chunk of hair from the back of his head and pulled. his reaction was immediate and oh-so gratifying.

an honest to god whimper poured from his lips and he instantly thrusted all the way into you, his length driving into your g-spot perfectly. you both let out twin moans as he started rocking into consistently, every movement bringing you closer and closer to your peak.

“i love ya, i love ya so fuckin’ much, angel—shit—yer so amazing, i love ya,” atsumu rambled while pounding into you, deep curses and whines of your name interspersed with his declarations of love. if you could speak, you would reciprocate but you were too busy holding on for dear life as he fucked you into oblivion.

desperate for some kind of anchor to reality, you grasped onto his locks again, gripping tightly as drawn-out cries of his name slipped from your open lips. you were close, so close and he knew it too.

“feel ya clenchin’ around me like a good girl, ya gonna cum fer me? gonna cum fer me angel?” atsumu’s hand snaked down between your bodies to rub fast circles on your clit, a shaky sob finding its way out into the open air.

“oh shit, yeah, ‘m g-gonna cum for you tsum, ‘s all for you,” you moaned, clamping down on him sporadically as you started to cum, your vision whiting out and your thighs trembling while you gushed around him.

your mind was floating off when you felt him cum with a shout, his warmth flooding you and spilling out as he collapsed onto your chest.

••• smut over •••

the two of you lied there for a while, attempting to regain your brain and feeling in your legs. you vaguely made note of the wet rag cleaning between your thighs and the following weight falling down beside you but it was only after a few more minutes that you really came back to yourself, rolling over to lay on atsumu’s bare chest.

“holy shit, tsumu,” you said in awe, your boyfriend (!!) laughing at your reaction. “i’m just that good angel, what can i say?”

you groaned and hit him in the chest but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face if you tried. “you are such a menace!”

“only fittin’ that i picked a gremlin ta be with then,” atsumu teased while playing with a piece of your hair. mock offense filled your chest as you sat up, fixing him with your ‘angriest’ glare.

“is that the kind of language you’ll be using in your vows, mister?” you were only joking but when atsumu’s eyes widened and a blush spread across his cheeks, you realized your mistake.

you opened your mouth to apologize or to make some kind of excuse but he beat you to the punch. “ya wanna marry me angel?” he asked, looking so vulnerable with hope shining in his brown irises. you couldn’t bear to lie.

“of course tsum, you’re it for me,” you reached out a hand to caress his cheek and he leaned into it, his own coming up to cup yours and hold it against his face.

“good.” and that was the end of that, that evening’s... extraneous activities having thoroughly tired to the point that you fell completely asleep with your face against one of his pecs.

if you had stayed awake a little longer, you would’ve seen atsumu pull out his phone and start a new note titled, “my angel.”

if i just said i loved you, it would be an understatement. it would be like saying the sun’s surface is just a bit warm or that the arctic is just a little chilly. it would be an injustice to you and to how i truly feel about you. love—

“-is a word that is much too soft and used far too often ta ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that i have in my heart for ya angel. ya acknowledge my strengths and ya accept my faults. ya make me wanna be a better person every day. so, today i vow ta laugh with ya and comfort ya during times of joy and times of sorrow. i promise ta always pursue ya, ta fight for ya, and love ya unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. ya are my best friend and i’m the luckiest person on earth ta call ya mine- wait are ya crying?"

the audience burst into laughter as you frantically tried to wipe away your tears, punching atsumu softly on the arm. “of course i am, you ass.”

the officiant cleared his throat, grabbing both of your attentions. “it is the bride’s turn to give her vows. if you may?”

you nodded and atsumu already felt like crying. again. he’d cried that morning while getting dressed and then again when you walked down the aisle in the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. now, as he watched you pull a folded piece of paper out of your bra, he knew he’d made the right decision in confessing to you, all those years ago.

he also knew he was definitely going to cry again.

“atsumu, falling for you wasn’t falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing that you’re home. today, i want to make you promises that i will always keep. i promise to never stop holding your hand or accepting your kisses. i promise to not hit you too hard when you insult me or call me a gremlin. i promise to share my food with you, to never go to bed angry, and to try and understand your obsession with professional men’s volleyball. i promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for i know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. i choose you. i’ll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without doubt, i’ll keep choosing you.

i used to never truly enjoy moments because i was always waiting for what's next. the next thing horrible thing to happen. now that i have you, i enjoy the moment. every moment.

today seems like it's the start of a new journey, but i already belong to you. falling for you wasn't falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing you're home. i love you.”

and at least in this lifetime

we’re sticking together

me and my husband

we’re sticking together

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

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the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[mayansmcsblog]

Her world or mine

I have no idea when i wrote this but i found it in my drafts half done so i finished it and- yh that's about it😅

This was meant to be based upon the song her world or mine but i got off track so its only loosely based upon it.

word count: 3640

Enjoy!

He hasn't used the truck for weeks, he had no reason to anymore, being in it only brought back memories of you. The long drives, the short drives too. The way you would hold his hand while he was driving or how you would remind him to pay attention to the road when he looked in your direction for too long. All the memories were fresh within his mind- almost as if it was yesterday. 

Even now, he was only sitting in it, he had to do the beer run and obviously that couldn't be done on a bike, he had to take the truck, but all he could think about was how you used to sit in the passenger seat beside him. He could see it in his mind so vividly, if he didn’t know you had moved on he would swear you were sitting with him. 

Looking at the dash his gaze caught the Polaroid photo that was still in its place next to the radio. Your face accompanied a smile whilst his had his usual ‘tough’ man expression, but if you looked close enough, you would be able to see a small smile placed upon his lips. You took it at one of the infamous Mayans parties, he remembered how it took you around 10 minutes to ‘convince’ him to take it, he wanted to take it from the moment you suggested it but he wondered how far you would go to get him to do it

-

“Please” you had been begging him for the last 5 minutes in attempt to get him to take a photo with you but to no avail

“No” you two were sitting on the bench outside the clubhouse, people surrounding the both of you, everyone was involved on their own conversations so neither of you paid any mind to them. Of course he was still aware of his surroundings but was more relaxed than usual

“But come on” you begged

“No y/n” he kept his face as straight as he could but you could slowly see a shadow of a smirk forming upon his lips

“Why?”

“No face no case” he shrugged with a slight smirk on his face, clearly that was a lie. Not even 20 minus prior you had taken a photo of all of the club members standing outside of the clubhouse per bishop’s request so he could frame it and hang it somewhere within the clubhouse to show off the members.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are you so adamant? “He questioned

“Because” 

“Because what?” standing up he motioned for you to do so as well,

“Just because”

“Come on follow me”

Standing up you took this hand as led you away from the party,

“Where are we going?”

“To take this god damn photo”

-

Recalling that night he felt a pain inevitably run across his chest, sure you two were only friends when it was taken but that night was the foundation for building the relationship you two once shared. 

Why had he been so stupid to let you go?

He knew he would have to drive past your place to get to the brewery, it was inevitable really. There was no other way unless he was going to drive an extra 30 minutes, which he didn't have time for.

when he reached the turn in to your street he slowed down a little, looking at your house from a distance he could see a car he didn’t recognize in the driveway. As he got closer he could see two people on the porch, he immediately recognized you accompanied by some guy. 

Of course you had someone else.

-----

Sitting on the couch you couldn't help but let your mind drift back to him, you missed his smile, you missed the way he would have a running commentary while watching anything on the TV, you missed how he would hold you after a long day, you missed everything about him.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren't you?” 

You did nothing but hum in response

Your brother had elected to stay with you for a few weeks while he was on a business trip for some type of expansion for the company he worked for. Originally it was a good idea, it kept you mind off Ez, but the more time your brother was here, the more he talked about his wife back home and how he couldn't wait to get back to her just made you think about how you don't have someone in your life to look forward to anymore, you no longer had someone you could tell everything to, someone who would stay by your side, someone you knew would be waiting for you when you were away from home. As much as you loved your brother, you were thankful he was leaving tomorrow

“Im gonna go get a drink” standing up you heard your brother mumble something in response but you elected ignored him and heading to the kitchen.

As you approached the fridge you spotted the picture of you and Ezekiel stuck on the door. You were pretty sure it was Coco who had taken when him, you, Ez and Angel went over the border for a day because none of you had anything to do and for some reason Mexico was the first thing that was suggested. You had been meaning to get rid of it but couldn't bring yourself to. Alot of memories were collected between the four of you, some of them you were just not ready to let go of yet.

By now he was probably already in another relationship so why were you still holding on?

Grabbing a bottle of water you headed outside and sat on the porch steps. You knew there was a party at the clubhouse tonight, Angel had invited you to come, but you knew Ez would be there. 

Did you really want to see a girl all over him while you're still here alone? Because that would definitely happen

Maybe he wouldn't be there? Or maybe he would be too busy doing stuff to even realize you were there 

You were too wrapped up in your own mind to even realize your brother had stepped outside till you heard a creak from the wood behind you 

“Y/n?”

“Yeah” 

“you okay?" He asked sitting beside you

 “yep"

You two sat in silence for a few moments before he started talking once again

“I love you ye? Don’t let that boy ruin you. He lost you by his own fault. You did nothing” he rambled on about how you should have been treated better and how Ez lost the best thing he could ever have. But you knew he was wrong.

Ezekiel always treated you like a queen, your brother met him one time and barely spoke to him for longer than five minutes. As far as you were concerned you brother didn't know anything about him

While he was rambling you were looking into the distance, mainly just looking at the sky but you could have sworn you saw his truck drive past, but maybe you were just seeing things right? His truck wasn't the only one, there were probably millions of them.

-

The party was in full swing, people were everywhere, the room full of patches from all over. mass amounts of people from charters were visiting in celebration of a new deal with the sons, leaving Ez to tend the bar along with some hang rounds.

Wiping down the bar he couldn't help but think about you for the billionth time today. He knew you two broke things off but it didn't mean you had to leave everyone from the club behind as well as him.

"Bro what the hell is wrong with you?" Angel questioned

"Nothing" shrugging his shoulders he dropped the bar rag and turned to get angel a beer from the fridge behind him

"Stop lyin man, what's going on in that head?" Angel knew his own brother better then to believe 'nothing' was going on with him, something was always going on up in Ez's brain, even if he didn't admit it

"I dunno man, I just think it's weird how y/n left us you know?" Ez shrugged again, handing angel a beer

"She didn't leave us. She’s distancing herself. Got a lot of family shit going on right now" he explained, you kept Angel in the loop with everything, after all he was your best friend even before Ez and you got together, if Ez wouldn't tell you something- Angel would.

"Just think it’s weird" Ez repeated, messing with the bar rag once again

"Ya well she’s coming tonight”

Before Ez could respond coco stood next to Angel 

"Who’s comin?"

The brothers looked at each other for a moment before angel came up with an idea 

"Just some random bird for our boy scout to bed"

"My man," Coco chuckled "finally gonna get your dick wet huh?"

----

You knew this was a bad idea, you knew he would be here. 

Was he going to be with another girl? Actually stupid question, of course he would be

Opening your phone you sent angel a text

‘I'm like five minutes out but i swear to God if you abandon me tonight i will hit you so hard that you can't remember anything for a week’

At least he would walk in with you so you weren’t alone right?

---

Angel stood up abruptly in the middle of a conversation he was having

"Where the fuck you going?" Coco questioned, lighting a cigarette from the chair he was sitting in

"Meet a friend"

"A friend huh?"

"Yeah...maybe you'll like her" Angel replied before grabbing his beer and retreating towards the door.

---

Walking through the gate you saw the front of the club littered with patches. Some of them were from different charters. Weird, angel never mentioned other charters visiting, by the look of the outside, you could only imagine the clubhouse itself is packed with people.

Scanning the crowd you spotted the person in question walking towards you

“Hey stupid face”

“good evening stupid head”

“that's basically the same thing i just said” 

"oh shut up i couldn't think of insult fast enough”

Pulling you into a hug you couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed. Angel was always like an older brother to you, an annoying one at that but still a brother.

It had been weeks since you saw him, being back in his company made you feel safe again, almost like a sense of home

He placed a kiss on your temple “We missed you here”

“Yeah, I know” letting him go you looked around, mainly to see if any of the other guys were in sight but also to see if coco was around, expecting to be attacked as per usual. 

Angel took notice of you scanning the crowd “He's inside”

“Hmm? Sorry I got no idea what you're on about”

Pulling you into his side he wrapped an arm around your shoulders “sure ya don't”

Walking inside you scanned the crowd once again, thankfully coco was nowhere to be seen for the moment and most of the guys were spread out around the room. Bishop and Taza were playing pool, Gilly and Creeper were sitting at the table in a conversation whilst hank sat opposite them looking at something on his phone, Ez was tending the bar like usual but this time he was accompanied by some hang rounds.

At least there isn't girls hanging off him yet 

“C'mon let’s get a drink huh” angel lightly shoved you towards the bar playfully.

“No”

“No?” his eyebrows raised playfully

“No and if you try to make me go over there with you i promise i will embarrass you” you laughed 

“Fine”

After he got the drinks you both sat at a table in the corner for a while talking, the majority of the topics were about what had been happening while you were distanced from everyone.

Eventually Coco spotted you two and joined in the conversation. you sat talking to the two of them while everyone else was up to their own things, you didn't mind, the both of them combined made for some very interesting storys, the conversation could never die. After around 10 minutes, Angel had left you two alone saying he “wasn't bout to listen to this shit ''- which was super ironic considering the topic of conversation was about modifications for a new bike coco had brought a few days ago

“How does your bike handle anyway? I heard they are bottom heavy and hard to manoeuvre sometimes” you questioned. overtime Ez had taught you some things about bikes, mainly when he was just rambling about random things not thinking you were really paying attention to what he was saying

“It’s alright i guess, sometimes it slips when I lean too far on corners, other times it tends to not wanna go the way I need to but other than that it handles pretty well, arms hurt like a bitch after long ride though” he explained

Nodding your head you understood where he was coming from, having your arms at that angle for hours must have taken its toll

“Ay '' he nodded his head towards someone behind you, Turning your head you saw it was Ez walking through the door with Angel, seemingly engrossed in some type of conversation they were having.

Despite spotting him earlier you only scanned over his appearance but now you actually took a good look at him, he looked different, not much but still different from before. His hair was in the same style but it little more grown out then usual, his facial hair had grown out a little too. His eyes had bangs underneath them and his face looked drained.

All in all he looked like shit.

“You know he’s not the same without you right?” bringing your attention back to coco you couldn't help but feel like you were to blame, maybe if you fought harder of him you two would have never split.

“You two spoke since?” he questioned

“Nope...I got a few drunk calls saying he was sorry but other than that. No” you shook your head. 

After you two first broke up he called you around a week later rambling about something but since he was slurring his words- you could barely understand anything he was saying. You got about 2 voicemails of him saying he was sorry and how he fucked up but- you never spoke to him, never texted him back when he would ask you if you were coming to one of the parties.

“The amount of times we've had to stop him from drunk calling you is unreal”

Playing with the label on the beer bottle in front of you, you thought about what coco said- clearly Ez had attempted to talk to you at some point, but why? The whole breakup was because he needed “space” to deal with some things so why was he trying to talk to you?

“He wanted space, I gave it to him” you shrugged, slowly peeling off the label

“Didn’t mean you had to leave us too” looking up from the bottle you saw coco was now avoiding your gaze

“Yeah...I know” maybe it was wrong of you to drop everyone, but being around them would have only brought back memories of you and Ez. At the time it seemed like a good idea to distance yourself from all of the guys, but now, despite only being here for a hour, you could tell how much you really missed being around them.

“You know he’s walking over here right?” Dropping your head onto the table you let out a sigh causing coco to laugh “I’ll leave you two alone huh?” lifting your head up you looked at him with a facial expression as if to say ‘don’t leave me’ but he did anyway

“Y/n” his voice was low, almost as if he didn’t believe he was saying your name again

“Ezekiel”

“Can we talk?”

“We are talking” sitting up straight you turned in your seat to look at him. He looked even worse up close- the bags under his eyes were alot darker then they seemed from a distance, they made it appear like he hadn’t slept for days, you couldn’t help but notice he had a bruise slowly forming on top of his right eyebrow.

“What happened there?”

He looked confused for a moment till you pointed to his eyebrow

“Oh I erm…got into a fight.....with a wall” his eyes were trained onto the floor, almost like he was ashamed.

You hummed in response not sure how to respond without laughing 

“So how have you been?” he questions

“Good i guess..how about you?”

“Alright I suppose”

What followed was nothing but silence between the both of you, neither of you knowing what to say. The sounds of other people talking and rock music became almost deafening as the two of you stayed silent

“Well this got really awkward fast” you spoke up causing Ez to laugh a little

“Yeah..yeah it did” he nodded

After a few more moments you stood from your chair “I'm just gonna-”

“Yeah go, i get it go ahead” he finished your sentence for you.

Nodding you quickly made your way outside, the yard was almost empty by now, people had either left for the night or had moved inside.

You spotted Angel sitting on the front steps fiddling with one of the rings on his hand while looking at something in the distance. You sat beside him in silence, neither of you even attempting to make conversation but simply just being trapped within your own minds.

When you and Ez broke up you knew things would change, you knew the two of you probably wouldn't be able to have the same conversations you would before, but you never expected them being so awkward.

Maybe it was just because the wound was still pretty fresh, after all it had only been just over a month

After a few minutes you heard the door behind you open as someone stepped out, seconds later a figure sat next to you, looking over you saw it was coco

“What we doin? havin a lil moment to yourselves” he asked lighting up a cigarette and offering the both of you one

“Yep” Angel responded, taking one and lighting it before looking somewhere in the distance once again. All three of you sat for a few minutes just looking at seemingly nothing in particular.

Maybe it won't be like this forever? At some point there has got to be a time where you can come to the club without feeling awkward because ez’s here.

You heard the clubhouse door open once more behind you and once again, you didn't turn around, but coco did

"Ay man sit" you heard him say as he snapped his fingers at space left beside him to whoever stepped out from the door. It didn't take long for whoever it was to sit down.

Much like he did with you and Angel, Coco offered the person a cigarette which they must of silently declined from the lack of verbal exchange.

There has to be a point when you and the club can all hang out together like before....there has to be a stage where you and Ez can talk like normal people without it being awkward….right?

Seemingly out of no were Coco spoke up, nodding his head towards two stacked benches on the opposite side of the yard "You think i could clear those in one attempt?"

Angel was the first to respond "Absolutely fucking not" he paused for a moment- looking where the benches were stacked "but I'd love to see you try"

"I bet $50 you fail and fall face first" someone spoke up, looking to your left you finally realized who stepped out earlier ..Ezekiel

"Bet, ill prove you wrong" coco stood, taking off his kutte and placing it on the stair rail "you two wanna place any bets?" Coco looked at you and Angel

"Nope, I'm good" you shook your head

"I bet $50 that you don't clear it" Angel responded

"You have no faith pretty boy" coco responded, shaking his head  as he started to walk over to the benches

"This is going to end in a hospital trip" you stated making both Angel and Ez laugh

All three of you watched as coco seemed to examine the height of the two benches, planning the distance he would have to run to gain enough speed to propel himself over them and how he would land the jump

"You think he's gonna snap his nose again?" Ezekiel questioned

"Definitely" both you and Angel replied

All three of you watched as coco began to run towards the benches, from your angle it looked as if he could clear it....you were wrong. 

Seconds later coco was laying face first in the dirt, one leg was on the floor while the other was stuck in a piece of wood on the bench that had broke underneath his weight

"I think i broke my nose" you heard coco exclaimed causing all three of you to laugh. The few people who were still outside drew their attention to the scene and started laughing too when they realized what happened.

"Ill go get some paper towels" you said, still laughing.

Maybe this was a sign nothing had changed between the four of you, that you could all still hang out and do stupid stuff like before

Maybe nothing has to change

-------------

An| hope you enjoyed this fic. Honestly have no idea why or when i started writing this but 🤷🏼‍♀️ . *sorry for any spelling or grammar errors or any parts that don't make sense. only scanned it before posting it*

ALSO- i swear part two to the prank war is coming! Its just talking awhile for me to find a way to describe to things going on as well as being busy with other stuff.

[angelyuji]

I also love Yan!Spiderman, there will never be enough content for him ! Can I request a headcannon ? Or a blurb, whatever you prefer ? I love the amnesia trope, like the reader having long-term amnesia after an accident or whatever and yan!Spiderman swooping in, saying they have been dating for months... You may get suspicious of how flustered he gets but he knows so much about you, he can't be lying, right ? 😚

17+

cw// stalking, non-consensual picture taking, kind of kidnapping, familial neglect, car accident caused by superheroes, non-consensual kissing, non-consensual touching, forced hugs, lying, manipulation, “gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss” energy, implied murder, peter being a crybaby to guilt trip you, idk peter being gross and pervy and being a liar, toxic relationship (kind of because you’re kinda not aware of the fact that he sucks and he’s lying)

· OMGBESTIE sorry i just absolutely ADORE the amnesia trope in yandere fics GHJKJHGF

· it’s just so perfect *chef’s kiss*

· anyway

· you got into accident that totally not caused by peter…yeah, it was totally definitely the criminal’s fault …

· but i mean, why were you driving in the middle of a villain attack anyway? oh, you had to go to work?...so??? peter didn’t give you the ok?????

· right, so he’s tossing cars and trying to bring justice (or something like that) and he saw you coming, but alas, he's too late

· you see something hurtling towards your car as you stop at a red light. you squint your eyes, “oh. ha, that’s a car…wait”

· peter was only a couple feet away when he sees the truck he threw slam against the hood of your car, crumpling the hood like it’s made of aluminum foil. time moves in slow motion as peter tries to reach you. out of reflex, peter shoots his webs to move you from impact. he can feel himself move, but his mind shuts down. when he regains consciousness, you’re in his arms, passed out, but seemingly unscathed. he feels relief, then fury. peter barely noticed when the paramedics came to move you out of his arms. he turns to the villain, his whole body shaking, and launches himself at the man.

· you end up in the hospital for a brain injury that left you in a coma and peter literally never left your side. he came every day and stayed by your side until visiting hours were over, and came into your room at night as spiderman after patrol.

· the hospital staff saw him so much that they assumed you were both in a relationship, so when you woke up at night during his patrol hours, they called him first.

· they called your parents after…weird, i know

· “how do you feel?”

· “fine, i guess. tired, surprisingly” you chuckle dryly and the doctor smiles.

· “fine is good. what’s the last thing you remember?”

· “…um….i can’t… I don’t-”

· “hey, it’s okay. take your time.” the doctor tries to be reassuring, but you feel panic bubble. what’s going on, why can’t you remember what happened? what’s happening to you? your breathing turns rough and the air feels thicker as you seem to remember less and less of what you should know. all of a sudden, two arms wrap around you and pull you into them.

· “it’s gonna be okay” they mumble into your hair as you cry into their shirt.

· peter and the doctor eventually figured out that you were missing 4 years of your life. the 4 years that you’ve lived in queens, to be exact.

· peter realizes exactly what he has to do when the doctor pulls him and your family aside to explain the situation

· (they had asked him who tf he was and he, in a panic to not be kicked out, said y’all were dating)

· he offers your family a way out, a way to not take the stress of taking care of you, by letting him take care of you

· “i love them. i can’t lose them and i won’t lose them, so please, let me take care of them”

· honestly, your family was lowkey relieved that peter offered to take care of you, not even remembering that you have never mentioned this man in any conversation (who has amnesia now??)

· peter would go into your room and tell you that you’re going home with him

· “what? what about my family?”

· “they’re okay with it. they have a lot going on and, as your boyfriend-”

· “boyfriend? i’ve never seen you before in my life?”

· “no! no, we started dating when you moved to queens!" at your blank stare, he lowers his head slightly and you see tears fall, "i wish you would remember”

· peter will pull out his pictures of you saying stuff like “then how do i have these pictures?? hmm????” and fake crying to make it seem like he was your grieving boyfriend

· he’ll be constantly mentioning the fact that he’s your boyfriend to you and to others (at some point, ur confused on whether he’s trying to convince you or trying to convince himself) “as your boyfriend’ “your boyfriend” “i love being with you and going on dates haha yk since im your bf”

· he’ll make up different stories from places he’s seen you. if he stalked you while you were walking at the park, he’ll say you both went on walks often. if you went on picnics by yourself often, he’ll say you constantly had picnic dates. had a fun day at the arcade? more like, you had fun day at the arcade with peter!

· peter’s smart, he uses these events as a way of tricking your brain into thinking that each memory you recover of these moments are just moments that are missing him, and eventually, he’ll start appearing in memories

· peter would take you to his apartment and absolutely REFUSE to let you leave, he’ll have an excuse ready to make sure you can’t leave your new home

· “the doctor said you shouldn’t move too much”

· he’ll make you sleep in the same bed as him, go on dates with him, hug and kiss him like “you used to do” with the excuse of “the doctor said you should do things that you used to do before the accident to start remembering everything”

· …riiight

· “are you coming to bed?” you lay in his bed, waiting for peter.

· “i-i sorry, yes, I-” peter stumbles on his words as he stands by the bed.

· you sit up in annoyance, “peter, you said we slept together. what’s wrong?”

· peter turns bright red, “no! nothing’s wrong! it’s nothing, i-i’m coming to bed in a sec.” you lay back down and soon you feel him crawl into bed. you turn your back to him, but peter pulls you closer to him and start leaving kisses down your back.

· “what are you doing.” you whisper into the darkness. his small touches feel foreign on your skin and your body itches to move in disgust.

· “i’m helping you sleep. uh-before, i helped you fall sleep like this, maybe this’ll help you remember” peter pushes his head into the crook of your neck and holds you closer, his fingers grazing under your shirt and feeling your stomach.

· you try to move away without panicking, “maybe, we’re moving too fast? i kinda need some spa-” you feel peter freeze.

· “do-do you not love me anymore?” you feel peter’s tears before you hear his sniffles, “i didn’t want to push you, but i just missed you so much and i thought that you were starting to remember how much you love me.” his sniffles turn to sobs and you start feeling guilty. you push your discomfort away and let yourself get pulled into his warmth.

· “no, it's fine. just don’t, you know, cry please.” you press your lips into a thin line and sigh as peter stops sniffling and hums in content.

· he’ll guilt you into doing what he wants with tears and sobs about how he misses “the old you”

· funny, considering the fact that this mf basically made up his entire relationship with you because he’s literally psychotic

· your relationship would be seemingly normal too, except that all of the friends that talked about how they’ve never met peter before your accident went missing…huh, definitely no connection there…

· but by the time they inform you of their concern, it is already months after your accident and peter would have already made you believe that you were dating

· in peter’s mind, you’re everything and more than he imagined, even though you barely know him, he knows you so well that it’s easy for him to make you believe that you’re together.

· peter would tell he’s spiderman once you’ve stopped resisting him to make sure that you won’t search up your accident and see that spiderman was involved

· the only way for you to break from peter’s grip on your mind is for him to accidently confess that he’s lied to you

· and that’ll happen, peter may be good at lying, but during a fight, he might let it slip

· “I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO THEM.”

· “they’re my friends, peter. you can’t stop me from seeing them.” you roll your eyes when peter’s face crumples. “ugh, peter, stop with the guilt-tripping. your fake tears don’t work on me anymore.”

· peter’s face turns cold, “your friends are liars and they’ve been trying to break us up since the accident. all they say when they see me are lies.”

· you keep a straight face, “well, i know it’s a lie, so you don’t have to act like this.”

· “but-but what if you start believing them? what if you realize that you can do better than me? what if you remember everything? what if they make you break up with me? wh-” peter turns to you and sees you frozen in place. he moves towards you and pulls you into a hug, but you stay stiff.

· “what do you mean “remember”?” you whisper and peter’s eyes go wide. silence fills the room as peter says still.

· “well, shit”

-

[zaceouiswriting]

Life

Good sad day my friends!

I would’ve never thought that I would write a message like this. But here we are. Today we are getting a bit personal, maybe even a bit more than most of you are comfortable with.

I’m a 24 year old dude. As many of you might already have guessed gay. But there is also a very dark side of me, despite all my creative work. Since as my therapist believes, my birth, I suffer from manic depression. To top this all off, I got hit by a truck when I was nineteen. It almost ripped my left foot from my body. 

After getting into a hospital it took two weeks, before doctors could save it, in an operation that with some complications took over twelve hours.

Up to this point in my life, I was hyper focused on school. I had to learn a third language, because I didn’t do it when I was younger to finish school, which seemed impossible for me. After this accident, every little thing took a backseat.

My mental health fell into a dark pit, worse than anything I had encountered before. The worst thing was, that no-one around me seemed to really care, except for my father who tried everything to keep me going. But something in me died that day. As I was laying on the street, after getting hit by this truck, on my way to school, on my bicycle.

I couldn’t hold myself together. Went less and less to school, until the point, I wasn’t able to finish it anymore. After the school year ended, I was able to leave the house for two-three more months, before this was impossible for me.

Since then I have developed a fear, a panic to leave my home.

You might asked yourself: „Why is this dude on the internet on Tumblr of all places, who writes stuff, telling me all of this?“

Well my answer is a sad one. Since that day, I of course needed something to cope with. To keep me afloat. Because I am actively trying to get the only talent I have, telling stories, to finance a future for myself. It is also the only thing, that is keeping me actively alive.

But there are things, that keeps my head from the more darker thoughts. And as silly as this might sound, it is mostly youtube gaming content.

Im a gamer, when I'm not writing, which is a big part of my life. Today a news, that shocked my world broke to me trough.

I don’t know how many of you are gamers themselves or watching gaming content, But there is a guy his name is „Technoblade“, who is a beacon for me. Someone who could make me laugh, at the darkest of my moments, giving me a hand, to help me on a ledge to get out of the darkness to at least exist without the hopelessness, my head wants me to feel.

Today I learned, that he died. After as it seems a long hard battle with cancer. Which hit me extra hard, because a couple of years ago, when I was seventeen, I was at the side of a childhood friend, until her passing away from the same illness. I told her stories to keep her head off of things. But we all knew that she was going to die.

When we were kids, I promised her that I would be there, when she passes on. Then, neither of us knew what that meant. But I kept my promise. And hold her until her very last breath. Before she passed on, she told me that she loved me. She knew that I could never reciprocate her feelings, but I loved her too, not in the same sense, she did me, but it was enough to tell her that I loved her too.

I hoped, to never get trough an experience like this, at least not, until I was better myself. Even without knowing Technoblade personally. He saved my life countless of times. Not only he, but other content creators as well.

It hurts deep down, that everything I can get help from, are now only old videos of him, things I already watched, love but already know. To be aware of the fact, that he is gone, hits so much deeper, than I ever thought was possible. At the end of the day, I and so many others, did not know I’m personally, but he still was a part of our lives. A bright one at that.

Im angry, at the audacity of life to let someone, even younger than me, go trough this, to die such a horrible death. I’m sad for his family and everyone who got impacted by his humor, wit and friendliness. But I’m also happy, that he was a part of my life and so many others too. His death might be a great loss, but his memories are treasures we all should keep in our hearts.

We should take an example of his strength, his will and mental fortitude. 

And to the unasked question, why I telling this on Tumblr? To be honest I don’t have any other meanings of doing this. As I had said, I was hyper focused on school and after my accident, had not the strength to build anything else up. Just now years later, I slowly come out of my own shell. But I have no experience with Social Media, or Youtube or such. So this is really the only place I can tell a part of my story and tell people, how much Technoblade helped me get trough a lot of the darker times.

I just hoped, I could’ve keep his spirit alive. But as incompetent as I am at social media, more than this post, most likely will not happen. Which is sad, because for the impact he had, he would’ve deserved so much more from me.

Thank you for reading all of this, I just hope, enough people get to read this. And sorry for the ramble, when I’m under mental stress, I tend to jump between the things I want to tell.

Rest in Peace, Technoblade.

Have great day, you beautiful people, even with this news and these circumstances. I will take this day off from any work and will rewatch most likely all of his content.

We see us tomorrow hopefully under more heartwarming circumstances.

[bungee-gum-b1tch]

Not sure how far you're into the lessons, but you know how there's that one story where the brothers kept 'discreetly' asking MC what they like so they can buy a present for the Diavolo's birthday/ MC's welcome party? How'd you think the brothers react if they answered "I wish for world peace... but I know that's impossible so I'm okay with just ice cream instead, or new art supplies could be good too!"

omg this is my first askkkk tysm!! i love this idea lmao and this was super fun to write. im still new to this so hope you like it! also sorry if the formatting is a bit weird, i’m still getting used to posting things like this so it might take a bit for me to figure out a good layout

Note: satan’s is more nerdy than i intended and beel’s is almost entirely about ice cream… hope u don’t mind😅

– – –

Warnings: none

– – –

Lucifer

congrats! you’ve officially managed to catch Lucifer off guard

it’s brief, but still

definitely has an “istg this human” moment

would probably seem like indifferent to your response at first since he would likely just shake his head but when you turn away there’s a hint of a fond smile on his lips

i’d be lying if i said it didn’t cross his mind to ask diavolo how his laws for maintaining peace in the devildom were holding up

when he gives you your gift the cocky little shit would be like “unfortunately i couldn’t find world peace when i was out shopping. i hope this suffices”

Mammon

“oi, human! i’m serious!” 

“so am i! i said ice cream would be a good alternative, didn’t i?”

ruffles your hair and just scoffs “what’d i do to get stuck with a smartass human like you, huh?”

like half an hour later lucifer catches him trying to sneak off to the human world cuz “it’s for mc i swear!!!!! they wanted human world ice cream!!!!!”

only avoided getting fed to cerberus cuz because he mentioned your name and that it was for you

accompanied to the human world by lucifer himself

probably asks lucifer “how hard do you think it would be to bring world peace to the human world”

at which point he is promptly dragged back to the devildom

Leviathan

are you trying to kill him?

shakes his head after a second and mutters to himself “stupid normie making normie jokes…” as if your “normie jokes” don’t have him blushing cuz omg mc is so cute and funny

babe knows he can’t actually get you world peace, so what’s the next best thing?

a manga about saving the world and establishing peace, obviously 

hands it to you blushing like crazy and 

the other one to go “i couldn’t get you world peace, so i hope this will make up for it…”

if ur a mha fan he’d probably get u something All Might related cuz symbol of peace and stuff 

i hc levi as a really good artist and i feel like he’s definitely made fanart of his favorite shows/manga so he’d latch onto that mention of art supplies and just run with it

Satan

ok listen

i don’t know how or why this occurred to me, but i’m going with it

for some reason i feel like this book nerd would mishear world peace as war and peace, so he’d immediately get a special human world copy

probably thought to himself “wow, i didn’t think mc would be interested in reading such a long book!”

when you finally explain the joke to him as you laugh, he’d definitely be blushing and would probably apologize profusely

would make it up to you by getting some books on art tho

if he did happen to hear you right, he’d shake his head and smile

finds some way to sneak to the human world and get you your fav ice cream cuz “screw lucifer it’s mc’s birthday and risking making lucifer angry is worth making mc happy”

spends a shit ton of money on akuzon buying books about art history and techniques to the point where, upon seeing the massive amount of money missing from his bank account, lucifer thinks mammon is responsible and satan has to physically stop him from feeding mammon to cerberus

Asmodeus

“if only i could be everywhere at once, seeing my beautiful face all the time is bound to bring peace to the world!”

*proceeds to go on a ten minute long tangent about how beautiful he is, debating whether his beauty would bring peace to the world or be too much for everyone to bear and cause chaos*

truly a tough decision

shockingly enough, he does in fact remember what you said about ice cream and art supplies even when he’s done with his rant

best he can do is ice cream scented bath bombs and some art supplies

...on the condition that you’ll use them to paint him

Beelzebub

did someone say ice cream?

would probably do a double take at first, but the mention of food would quickly push that to the side

istg it takes every ounce of lucifer’s power to stop him from stealing an entire ice cream truck from the human world for the party

lucifer finally caves and lets him go to the human world to get your favorite ice cream

expect a lot of barbatos’s finest ice cream at the party cuz if beel can’t get you world peace and ice cream is the next best thing, he’s gonna get you the best damn ice cream in the entire devildom

Belphegor

"really, human?”

this pessimistic little shit would probably just roll his eyes and shake his head

you’d probably hear a quiet snicker if you listen hard enough

but knowing him he’d refuse to admit a human made him laugh

ANYWAY

moving on from edgelord belphie he would def go to beel to ask where he could get the best ice cream in the devildom

if you ask beel where he got the ice cream beel would probably let slip that it was from belphie lmao

if he’s feeling snarky he’d probably give you your gift and joke like “i’d get you world peace but that isn’t really my thing. hope this works instead”

otherwise he’s just like “here take this ice cream thats definitely from beel and not at all from me. i absolutely did not sneak to the human world just to get this for you, what are you talking about human?”

babe likes to act like he doesn’t laugh at your jokes and like he doesn’t give a shit but he’s just as much of a simp as the others

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

cats and babies

This is the first piece I’ve ever written so if anyone sees this be nice pls and thank u

There could be typos/ weird formatting, this was typed entirely on my phone

I also feel the need to say all of my medical knowledge is from Grey’s anatomy and googling things I saw on grey’s anatomy so this is probably not that accurate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

Word count: 6,160

Warnings: Car accidents, blood, angst (but with a v happy ending ofc bc sad endings are Not For Me), hospitals/medical stuff, again a very happy ending, I would like to emphasize the happy ending so no one gets scared away from reading this, did I mention there’s a happy ending?

"So, what'd'ya say? Chinese?"

They were deciding where to go for dinner after a long day of touring their favorite art museums. Harry and Y/N had been dating about two years now, and (cheesy as it sounds) they loved each other more and more every day. 

"Chinese sounds great," Y/N smiled, glancing over at Harry. The golden sun reflected off his curls, making him look absolutely angelic. 

He smiled, which turned into a chuckle, which turned into full blown laughter. She was confused. "What is it?" What's so hilariou- eyes on the road!!" 

"Sorry, sorry," he laughed. "Nothing, just- do you-" he breathed slowly, calming down a bit. "Do you remember the first time we had Chinese food? She blushed, laughing with him at the memory. 

Their first date had been... disastrous, to say the least. They had both been nervous, but both trying to act confident. They had decided on a nice, fancy, black tie restaurant, and Y/N was excited. When he picked her up in a limousine, she was hardly unable to contain herself.

However, their plan fell apart almost from the beginning. When they got to the place, a big red sign read "CLOSED FOR REPAIRS"

"Ooook... that's... weird," Y/N had grimaced. "What should we do now?" 

"Uh... we could... try the one a few blocks over? Yeah, that's a good place too, I know the owner. He always has a table for me. That'll work!"

Y/N hasn't quite cared about the wrench thrown into their plans. She really liked Harry so far, and she though he liked her too. So she chirped "Sure! Sounds great."

She hadn't noticed how embarrassed he looked when he opened the car door for her. He couldn't believe his luck! He was finally on a date with a girl he really liked, really wanted to impress, and the best restaurant in town closed with no notice? How could this happen? But he shook it off, climbing in after her and alerting the driver of their change of plans. 

When they got to the next place, Harry immediately got worried. It looked very crowded, and while the owner usually held a table for Harry, it didn't seem so tonight. 

He pulled out his phone.

"Hey, Luke! Yeah, I'm great! Listen, do you by any chance have a table-" He paused, and then his face fell. His voice kept its happy tone, though. "No, no problem at all, I understand. Yeah, for sure, a different night. Thank you!" He hung up, looking more than a little dejected. 

Y/N put a hand on his arm. "It's ok, I promise. I swear I didn't just agree to go out with you for the fancy food. We can go anywhere, 'Im really not upset!" 

"Agh, thank you. You're very sweet. But really, you deserve a fancy place. Only it seems everyone in the world is determined to make sure we don't get to do that," He huffed. "Maybe..." And he pulled out his phone again. He glanced at her curious face. "How do you feel about Chinese?" He asked sheepishly.

  Y/N beamed. "I love it," and there was no trace of insincerity on her face. 

"Right then, Chinese it is!" he found the closest place on his phone, telling the driver the address.

After a few minutes of eating, Y/N looked around the table for a fork. She could handle big foods, like the chicken, with the chopsticks, but definitely not the rice. 

Harry asked what she needed. She was a bit embarrassed to tell him she wasn't good enough with chopsticks to eat her rice, but he was kind about it. He helped show her how to use them without making too big of a mess. Still, she dropped half her plate on a napkin in her lap. 

At the end of their meal, Y/N burst out laughing when she picked up her napkin. Harry looked at her, confused, until she placed what was basically a full serving of rice on the table. He was also unable to contain his laughter, to which Y/N responded by throwing a few grains of rice at him. 

He threw a balled up napkin at her, and she blew a straw wrapper in his face. This escalated until she splashed what was left of her water glass on him. There was stunned silence for a moment, and Y/N thought she went too far. Then he looked at her and burst into laughter. She sighed in relief, laughing with him. "I'm sorry, that was too much," but she couldn't keep the smile off her face at the sight of the water dripping down his face.

"A little water never hurt anyone," he said, his eyes twinkling as he splashed her with his own water. 

Y/N was pulled from the happy memory of their first date when the car skidded on the ice. 

"Careful... if I'd known it was this slippery we'd have found a closer place," she said nervously.

"Nah, we've talked about this, the only good place is the one two towns over. I understand you love Minnesota and all but it is NOT the best place to find good Chinese food," he smirked.

"I will not have this Minnesota slander, not in this house. Maybe you're the issue, with your sophisticated taste and all," Y/N said, laughing at his disgruntled look. "Sophisticated? I took you for Chinese food on our first date. Nothing about that screams "sophisticated" to me." 

"Yeah, but we were dressed VERY fancy. That counts," Y/N laughed. 

"Oh really? that's what makes me sophisticated? alright then, you're right, I'm, extremely-" 

The car slid just a little too far for Y/N's liking. 

"Harry, are you sure it's safe to be driving on this? I think it's getting worse, and- look, it's starting to rain." She checked the weather on her phone. "Yeah, it's at that weird temperature where it's halfway freezing. The road will be worse on the way back." 

"I think we're ok," He reassured her. "The car has 4 wheel drive, and I'll go slow. I think the biggest danger is us not getting our Chinese food," he smiled at her. "Uh, no," Y/N said, rolling her eyes. "I'd say the biggest danger is crashing and dying in a firey car wreck." 

"Always so negative, Y/N," Harry laughed. "We're perfectly fine-" he spoke too soon, because right then the car slid again. A lot, this time. They almost slid right through a stop sign. 

Y/N clutched the armrest. 

"We're almost there, you better not kill me before I get my Chinese food, Styles. I finally know how to eat rice with chopsticks without..." She stopped halfway through her sentence because she was laughing so hard. "Without... dropping all of it on my lap." 

They dissolved into giggles, especially when Harry said, "got any more water to throw at me?" 

The car slid once more, and Y/N felt her pocket nervously. She had bought a ring for Harry. It was nothing too special, but it was the one year anniversary of the first time they had gone to an art museum together. She wanted to commemorate that with something special, so she had gone to the museum gift shop and found the perfect ring. It had a silver band, a little thinner than the rest of his, and a labradorite stone set into it. She thought it would complement his other jewelry nicely. 

She kept her hand on the little box in her pocket, careful not to make Harry suspicious. 

He wasn't looking at her, though; he was completely focused on the road. His hands gripped the wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Y/N felt a little more nervous seeing this. Harry was an excellent driver, and he usually had one hand on the wheel and the other holding hers. He only gripped the wheel this tightly when he felt unsafe driving. 

Y/N looked out at the darkening sky. She was not a fan of storms, especially ones that make the roads icy. Like a true Minnesotan, she knew that under the right circumstances, a bit of rain could make it nearly impossible to drive.

A car sped past them, almost veering into their lane when it went over a particularly icy patch. 

"Harry, really, I don't know if we should keep going," Y/N said nervously.

"I know, but I'm not sure what we should do. I think it's safer to just keep going and hope the rain stops. We're about 10 minutes away, but if we turn around it's almost a 2 hour drive." 

"Yeah... you're right. It's better to just keep going. Just... go slow," Y/N said, biting the inside of her cheek. 

"Stop doing that," Harry chided in a singsong voice. 

"How can you even tell? you weren't even looking at me," Y/N laughed. 

"I know how you are when you're nervous, Y/N. Biting your cheek won't do anything but hurt." 

Y/N smiled. She had never had someone care this much about her. Someone who knew her this well, almost better than she knew herself. She was so hopelessly in love... 

She was so busy thinking about what she would say when she gave him the ring that she didn't hear the horn blaring. She looked up just in time to see the truck driving straight down the middle of the road towards them. 

She could tell instantly the driver of the truck couldn't do anything. He was sliding on the ice like they had before. Harry jerked the wheel to the right, moving the car out of the way. 

It wasn't enough.

Y/N heard a horribly loud crashing noise, and then there was nothing. 

Y/N shot straight up out of the bed she was in, gasping. Someone put their hands on her shoulders, trying to soothe her and get her to lay back down. She pushed the hands away as her vision came into focus. She was in a room filled with people and noise and 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.

She panicked for a minute before she realized where she was. Clearly an Emergency Room. There were 4 doctors and nurses around her, checking her eyes, ears, reflexes, pulse, breathing. She threw her arms out to try and get some space. One of the nurses caught her hand, holding it in both of hers. 

"Y/N, you're alright. You're in the hospital. You were in a car accident. Do you have any pain? Whe-"

"Harry! Where's Harry?? I need to see him, I have to, I have to go-" She stuttered as she pushed the doctors away from her, trying to get up again.

  The same nurse held her back.

"Y/N, we need to make sure you're ok before you can get up. If you let us help, you'll be able to see Harry sooner. Can you lay back? Do you have any pain?"

  "No, no I'm fine, I'm ok! I need to see Harry, I need to know if he's ok! Please!" Y/N looked frantically around at the doctors, hoping one of them knew something. 

The doctor who appeared to be in charge ordered, "Someone go get an update on the guy they brought in with her. See how he's doing." 

"Thank you, thank you so much," Y/N breathed, finally laying back. 

"There we go. Do you have any pain Y/N?" The nurse asked again. 

"No, I'm totally fine. I'm- " Y/N brushed her hair out of her face. When are brought her arm down, she saw that her hand was covered in blood. "I'm bleeding!" She cried, panicking. 

"It's ok, it's not too bad," one of the doctors said, examining her head. "It looks like it'll need maybe 5 or 6 stitches. We can fix that up right away." 

Y/N closed her eyes. How had this happened? Harry moved the wheel, she knew he did. How had they crashed this badly? 

The doctor who had been sent to check on Harry came back into the room. Y/N snapped her eyes open, looking at her expectantly.

"He is stable. That's the important thing right now. However, he's been pretty badly injured. He broke his femur and clavicle. He has a small brain bleed, and he is covered in cuts from the glass. He's also pretty bruised from the airbag and seatbelt. He is intubated, because he was having some trouble breathing. He might need surgery to repair the brain bleed, but right now they're waiting and hoping it will get better on it's own." 

Y/N exhaled. "But... he's ok? I mean... he's alive?" 

The doctor smiled. "Yes. He's doing ok." 

Y/N finally allowed herself to breathe. She noticed she was crying but she didn't do anything to wipe her tears away. 

"Ok, Y/N," said the doctor stitching up her face. "I'm finished here. You need to stay here for a little while longer so we can monitor you. There is an IV in your arm to keep you hydrated. If you need anything, call for a nurse. Also, and this is important, don't get out of this bed without someone helping you. You've been through a lot today, but the adrenaline is wearing off, which might make you feel shaky. Do you need anything right now?" 

"No, I'm... I'm fine. Thank you," Y/N said, wiping her eyes. 

After he left her bed, she felt her pocket. She breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the ring still there. Then she mentally kicked herself for being worried about a silly ring when Harry was... no. She wouldn't let herself think that. Harry was 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. They were both alive, and they were both ok.

About an hour later, a nurse came in. After confirming that she felt totally fine, Y/N anxiously asked when she could see Harry. 

"I'm sorry, the ICU is family only," The nurse said. She really did look sorry, but this did nothing to make Y/N feel better. 

"I- I'm his wife!" Y/N said quickly, not even thinking. She most definitely was 𝘯𝘰𝘵 his wife. She wasn't even his fiancee. She slipped the ring from her pocket onto her finger, then held up her hand to the nurse. 

The nurse pretended not to notice the fact that the ring hadn't been there before, and that the ring was easily a size too big. "Oh! Then of course you can see him," She said, helping Y/N off the bed slowly. "I'll take you to his room." 

"Thank you so much," Y/N said, taking her first few steps slowly. 

"Careful- you're still attached to this IV pole," The nurse said, adjusting the tubing so it wasn't in her way. "You can hold onto it for support- yes, just like that." 

Y/N got more nervous with every step towards Harry's room. What would he look like? Would he be in pain? Would he know who she was? Would he... be mad at her? 

When she walked into his room, she almost started crying all over again. He looked, well, awful. He was covered in cuts and bruises. He had several tubes and wires connected to him, as well as a large tube taped in his mouth. He had a cast on his leg and a sling on his arm.

Y/N looked at the nurse who was taking his vitals. 

"How is he?" She asked in a small voice. 

"He's ok for now. He is stable, which is very good. He's unconscious, but we hope to see him wake up soon. You can sit with him, hold his hand, talk to him. If you need anything, just press the call button." 

She left, leaving Y/N and Harry alone. This time, she really did start crying. This was awful, and it was all her fault. She was the one who wanted to go for Chinese food. She was the one who picked today, the first wintery stormy day of the year to go for a long drive. And now.. 

"Harry... Harry I'm so sorry," Y/N said, sniffling. She held onto his hand, the one that wasn't attached to a broken collarbone.  "This is all my fault, and now you're... and I got off with nothing but a cut on my forehead, and it's not fair and I'm so sorry," She let out a sob. 

She continued on like this, crying and talking and crying some more, for a few hours, before she fell asleep in the chair next to him. She woke up around 9 the next morning with a stiff next and puffy eyes. She looked at his face, still covered in bruises, and kissed his hand. The nurse came in to check on him and told Y/N to go get some breakfast, reminding her that she couldn't care for Harry if she didn't care for herself. Y/N reluctantly agreed, going as fast as she could. The nurse had disconnected her IV sometime in the night, and she could move much faster without it. 

She got back to the room with her bagel and resumed her position in the chair right next to Harry. She talked to him as if he was awake, imagining she heard his beautiful voice responding to her. 

She had managed to keep the crying to a minimum today. She kept telling herself that if- no, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 Harry woke up, she didn't want to look like a monster with red eyes. 

Her phone had been found by some paramedics, so she found Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone online and began to read to him. It was a little weird, but Harry loved these books, especially when he was sick.

Y/N was used to just imagining she heard his voice with her in the room, but suddenly she heard something that wasn't her. She gasped. 

"He's choking!! Nurse!!" She yelled for help, frantically pushing the call button. "Help!" 

Several nurses rushed in. One ushered Y/N back and out of the room, telling her to give them space to work. 

"What's- What's happening? What are they doing??" Y/N tried to go back in, but the nurse held her shoulders. 

"He's trying to breathe over the tube, Y/N. That's a very good sign. It means he's breathing on his own," The nurse said, trying to keep Y/N calm. 

"Does- does that mean he's waking up?" Y/N asked, not wanting to get her hopes up. 

"Not for sure, but it's a very good sign."

After a few minutes, the nurses came out of Harry's room, looking excited. "Y/N, he's awake! He's very groggy and can't speak yet, but he is definitely awake. You can go in and sit with him again if you'd like. We gave him some more medicine for the pain, so you have about 15 minutes to talk before he starts going a little..." She made a swirling motion next to her head. 

Y/N didn't care if he was high on morphine. She just cared that he was alive and awake and didn't... hate her. 

Harry was laying in the bed, looking at her with great concern in his tired eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no noise came out. Y/N rushed over to take his hand. 

"It's ok, they said you might not be able to talk for a little while yet. It's ok, I'm here, it's ok," Y/N said, smoothing his hair. 

Harry cleared his throat, coughing. He gestured toward the water cup on his side table. 

"Oh, of course." Y/N picked up the pitcher and poured him a glass, setting it in his good hand. 

He raised the straw shakily to his lips as   Y/N watched carefully to make sure he didn't spill. She gently lifted the cup out of his hands when he held it up to her.

His small smile was enough to make Y/N cry all over again.

"Oh, Harry," She cried, holding her head in her hands. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry this happened, I did this to you- you almost died!" 

"W-what?"

Y/N whipped her head up. "You can talk?" She said, overjoyed.

Harry coughed and spoke again. "Of course I can talk." 

His voice was rough and it sounded like it hurt everytime he spoke, but it was the most beautiful thing Y/N had ever heard. 

"What are you talking about, it's all your fault?" He rasped, looking utterly confused. "What even happened?" 

With tears leaking from her eyes, Y/N explained all she knew, which still wasn't much. Harry remembered everything as she told him, both their eyes watering as her voice shook.

"Why... why're you crying? Does your forehead hurt? I can call the nurse..." He reached for the call button.

"No, no, I'm ok," She took his hand in hers. "I'm just so sorry, because it honestly is my fault, I'm the one who wanted Chinese food and picked 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 of all days to drive 2 hours away and-" 

He cut her off by raising his finger to her lips. 

"It's not your fault... it's mine. I'm the one who convinced you the only good Chinese food is so far away and I'm the one who was driving. I couldn't keep you safe..." 

Harry had never looked so sad. 

"No!" Y/N exclaimed. "Do you not see me right now? I'm absolutely fine, you did keep me safe. You swerved out of the way... wait a minute," She paused, realization hitting her. "You didn't think we could avoid the truck at all, did you? You knew it would hit us either way, but you made sure it would hit as far from me as possible." 

Harry looked down. "I figured you're more important than me, I had to do what I could."

"Harry Styles!" Y/N whisper-yelled. "If you weren't so 𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘥 I would 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘬 you right now! How could you do that? How could you put yourself in 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 like that?" 

"Oh, that's actually why I got so injured, because I knew you'd try to hit me for this," He smiled charmingly at Y/N. She just scowled. 

"Did you really expect me to just say, "oh well, guess she's a goner! bye Y/N! nice knowin' ya!" No, of course not. Of course I'd put myself in danger for you. Always." 

Y/N's lip trembled. "Why do you have to be so romantic after you do such stupid things? it makes it really hard to stay mad at you," She said, wiping her eyes. 

"Yeah, that was the goal there," He laughed. 

Then he caught sight of the ring on her finger.

"That's pretty, when did you get that?" He mock gasped. "Did you get engaged while I was in a coma?" 

“No," Y/N laughed. "It's funny actually. I bought it from the museum gift shop. I wanted to give it to you as a present, for the anniversary of the first time we went there together. I was going to give it to you over Chinese food, and it was going to be 𝘢𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 and 𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘨𝘪𝘤 and 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭." 

Harry smiled. "That's lovely of you, darling. Why... why's it on your finger though?" 

"Oh! right." Y/N sheepishly pulled the ring off her finger. "They wouldn't let me see you because I'm not family, so I threw it on and said we were married," She said, blushing furiously. "Sorry about that." 

Harry smiled. "Why are you sorry?" 

"Um... we're 𝘯𝘰𝘵 married... so... I don't know, I just thought you might think it's weird, or, something..."  Y/N finished lamely. She held the ring out to him. 

"Happy anniversary." 

"Why don't you keep it?" 

"Right, of course, you don't need a reminder of this day," Y/N slipped the ring back into her pocket, on the verge of tears because she messed up 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯.

"No, that's not... I meant, why don't you keep it... on your finger?" 

She pulled the ring out of her pocket again, looking confused. "Why?" 

Harry plucked it out of her hand, holding it up to her. "Because I want you to marry me," He said, slipping it onto her finger with the sweetest smile she had ever seen. 

Y/N smiled at him. "It's ok, Harry, you're very high on all the painkillers right now. I won't hold you to anything you say," She laughed a little. 

"I'm not... why would I be on painkiller... oh yeah," Harry grinned, looking around. "I remember why I'm high right now." 

"Riiight." 

"I might be high, but I still want to marry you," he said is a singsong voice. 

Y/N laughed. "Harry, why don't we talk about this when you're sober, ok?"

Harry pouted. "Please? Please marry me? I love you, and you're so pretty, and you're so nice to animals..." He started crying, apparently at how nice Y/N was to animals. "And... a cat! We can get a cat together!" 

"Harry, baby, don't cry, of course we can get a cat," She gently wiped the tears from his bruised face. 

"I won't stop crying until you say you'll marry me," Harry said defiantly, gripping    Y/N's arm. "Pleeeaaase?" 

"Ok, Harry, yes, I will marry you. Sure. You can stop crying now, ok?" 

"That's good, I'm glad, because you're my favorite person, and I looooove you, and you're my baaaaby..." 

At this point Harry was just singing random words, usually circling back to "baaaaby" and "looooove youuuu". 

Y/N felt happy for the first time in what felt like years, while really it had been less than 24 hours. 

Eventually, he wanted to see the ring again. Y/N held up her hand and he gasped. 

"It's so beautiful! I'll buy you a real one though, a real ring for our real wedding. Then we'll get a real house and have real babies, and a real cat," He said, with the dopiest grin Y/N had ever seen. 

"Oh? We'll have babies, huh? How many babies will we have?" 

"3," He answered quickly. "Two girls and a boy. No... 4. Two of each. That way they won't team up one of them." 

"Oh, sounds like you've thought about this a lot," Y/N laughed.

  "Every single day since we started dating, you know why?" 

"Why?" 

He motioned for her to lean closer.

  "Because I looooove you," He sang in her ear.

She pulled back, kissing his swollen cheek. 

"You're a sweetheart," She said affectionately. 

"So're you," He smiled. 

"I kind of like drugged Harry," Y/N laughed. "He's very cute." 

"Drugged Harry also likes drugged Harry, he feels like he's floating." 

"Oh, so drugged Harry talks about himself in the third person?" 

"He does now!" Harry smiled at her again. "Drugged Harry is tired... he's just going to..." 

Then the monitors started beeping rapidly. Several nurses ran in, bustling around and shouting various medical terminology. Another nurse ushered Y/N out of Harry's room for the second time that day. 

"No! No, I need to stay with him! I can't-"

"Shh... it's alright. They're going to do everything they can to help him. You have to let them help him. Why don't we go to the waiting room?"

Y/N exhaled shakily. If she couldn't stay with Harry, she might as well sit instead of hovering around the corner. 

"Yes, let's go to the waiting room," She said, after a few deep breaths. 

Y/N had been sitting on the waiting room for what felt like an eternity, but a glance at her phone told her it had only been 45 minutes. 

A woman in a surgical gown approached her, and Y/N stood up quickly. "What happened?" She asked immediately.

"Unfortunately, your husband's brain bleed did not resolve itself like we had hoped. He is in surgery, and for right now he's doing well," the surgeon said, looking sympathetic. 

"Ok... why did the monitors freak out? Did his heart stop? Is he going to wake up from surgery?" 

"The monitors went off because his heart was having trouble, but they were able to resuscitate him through CPR and defibrillation. It's too soon to know if he will wake up, but the surgeon is hopeful. I will come back to update you as soon as I can."

"Ok, thank you," Y/N said, sinking back into her chair.

  She felt a pain in her chest, like real, actual pain. What would she do without Harry? How would she live with herself, knowing he died trying to save her? 

She caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger and choked back a sob. Would she tell people she was engaged? No, of course not. Harry had been completely out of his mind when he'd asked her. 

She slumped down in her chair, wanting to curl up and cry. Instead, she called her mom. Through her tears, she explained everything that happened. 

"Oh, honey," Her mom sighed. "I'm so sorry. I'm on my way. I'll be there in about 7 hours, I'm sorry it'll take so long. Do you want to stay on the phone with me?"

  "No, I can't," Y/N sniffled. "I have to call Harry's family."

  "Do you want me to do that? I wouldn't mind, they're-"

"No, mom, thank you, but I should. I- I'm going to go. Love you," Y/N said, hanging up the phone. 

Checking her phone, Y/N realized it was the middle of the night in London where Harry's family lived. She didn't think she should wait, so she called Anne without another thought. 

"Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry. We're getting the soonest flight. We won't be there until tomorrow morning. Will you be alright alone? Is your mother coming?" 

"Yes, my mom's on her way. I'm ok, thank you," Y/N said, rubbing her eyes. 

After she hung up the phone, it set in just how exhausted she was. She had slept poorly the night before, because of the awkwardness of sleeping in a chair and because she was so, so, worried for Harry.

She drifted into a fitful sleep where she dreamed of cars crashing, rings flying around, and Harry standing just out of her reach. He was like a rainbow, the closer she got to him, the more he faded. 

She startled awake and realized there were tears on her face. She checked her phone, seeing that it had only been 3 hours.  

She saw the same woman from before approaching her, this time wearing just scrubs. 

Y/ N stood to meet her. 

"Harry is out of surgery and doing well. We were able to repair the brain bleed. His heart stopped on the table," Y/N gasped at this, "But we were able to get him back. His ribs will be very sore and possibly even broken. All that aside, he is doing well, Mrs. Styles, and you can see him now," She said, Leading Y/N to the elevator. 

Her breath trembled as they walked towards his room. 

Harry was laying in his bed, looking like a fragile child. Even though he was so much bigger than her, right now he seemed so... small. 

Y/N looked at the nurse, asking to sit with him. She nodded and explained that two of his ribs were fractured and his collarbone would hurt him a lot when he woke up. 

Y/N held his hand with a featherlight touch, unwilling to jostle him even the smallest bit. 

After about an hour of her reading to him, she felt a small movement, barely even noticeable. Was it...?

She felt another movement. This time she was sure of it. He was squeezing her hand.

"I'm here Harry, I'm right here," She soothed,  moving her chair closer to him.

  He groaned sleepily before opening his emerald eyes and looking at her.

  "Hi," he smiled, squeezing her hand again. 

"Hi," Y/N said, crying more than a little bit. 

"What... did... are you ok?" Harry's brow furrowed. He seemed to have a hundred questions, but he settled on asking how she was. 

"Yes, Harry, I'm ok. How do you feel?" 

"Hurts," he said, closing his eyes. "But if you're ok, so am I." 

Y/N kissed his hand. "I see drugged Harry is still here? The one that is 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 cute and sweet?" 

"No, he's not. This is just regular Harry. I can tell because everything 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hurts," He said with a small grimace.

"Oh, I'll get the nurse. They'll give you something," Y/N started to get up, but Harry's grip on her hand tightened. 

"Wait," he said pulling her back to him. "Before they make me go all loopy, I just want to say-" He paused, looking at the ring on her finger. "I love you, to my fiancee. I think it counts more when I'm not high." 

"Your- your fiancee? Harry, I told you I wouldn't hold you to anything you said before. You weren't in your right mind at all, I didn't even think you'd remember saying all that." 

"Yeah, but I remember asking you to marry me and you said yes. You might not be holding me to anything I said, but I'm holding you to that," He grinned. "You really want to deny a dying man his last... dying... wish?" 

Harry flopped his good arm dramatically over his forehead, wincing at the motion. Y/N helped him slowly lower it again. 

"First of all, you're not dying. Secondly, I don't want you to go through with this because you feel obligated, or because you think I'll be upset if you aren't ready to propose. It's totally fine, I promise, but why don't we talk about this when you're feeling better?" 

"No, I feel fine," He insisted.

Y/N gave him a look. "Really? You do? Aren’t you the one who just needed help moving your arm?" 

"Irrelevant. I feel fine, like, mentally. If you don't think you're ready to be engaged to me, that's ok. But don't say no because you think I didn't mean it. I did, with every part of me. I love you, and I want you to be my wife." 

"...Really?" Y/N asked, cheeks heating up.

"Really," Harry smiled. 

"And according to drugged Harry, you want to have a cat and 4 children." 

Harry laughed, wincing immediately.

"Don't make me laugh, my chest really hurts," He said, still holding her hand. 

"Sorry, sorry, they said you have some broken ribs. Also your collarbone. Also your femur. Geez, Styles, you're kind of a mess," You laughed. 

"Yeah, really," He smiled. "But seriously, will you? Will you be my wife?" 

"Of course I will, Harry. I love you so much, of course I will," Y/N said, gently kissing his cheek. 

"Great," Harry beamed at her. "Now that we've worked that out, can you get the nurse? Drugged Harry is ready to make a comeback." 

"Oh, right, sorry," Y/N said, reaching over for the call button. 

The nurse came in, giving Harry more medicine. 

"You'll start to have some relief within a few minutes," She said, leaving them alone again.  

"One more thing Y/N," Harry said. She could already tell he was a little more relaxed. "I have to get you a ring!" 

Y/N smiled, holding up her hand. "I already have one, remember?" 

Harry waved her hand away. "No, no, a bride can't buy her own ring! What kind of... chivalrous... gentleman... would I be if I didn't buy you a beautiful ring?" 

"Ok, Harry, as soon as you get out of here, we'll go ring shopping," Y/N promised. 

"And... to the cat shelter? You said we could get a cat... a kitty, a cat, a little kitty cat..." 

Harry had started singing mumbled words about cats and love and babies. Y/N knew it was going to be a long night. Still, she had never been happier.

[spikeinthepunch]

your cryptoalia post about vehicles is interesting! I love seeing how people world build like this, with such freedom and then where they end up. From my personal experience, something is missing for me though - bikes! I couldn't imagine a world without that kind of easy personal short range vehicle, so I'm interested whether you have considered it all.

Another thing that stood out for me is "work" vehicles like garbage trucks or tractors for field work. How does that work?

I'm asking because I find it fun to talk about this stuff but please tell me to fuck off if I'm bothering you lol

thank you! and im am so glad to have anyone ask further about the ideas! honestly it helps me further develop, since i dont always think about certain questions people would have on the outside. its good to bounce off others when they question things i just dont think of.

very good to question non-motorized vehicles like bikes, so much of my world has been built around a mysterious "energy source". the world basically relies on this energy source for everyday functions and it is known to be 100% reliable, and generally not questioned to use things outside of it due to convenience.

buuut its not like things like pushed skooters and pedal bikes havent existed (the influence on human history would not have been old enough to stop that from existing)-- rather they likely fell out of style greatly because of the convenience of electric vehicles. still, thats not to say theyre gone i think. people have interest in vintage history, or some may want to do something outside of the "system". overall, motorcycles are likely the only thing you'll find if you were to try and buy a "bike" and even then it'd be locked into the digital system tracking all tethered vehicles. so to consider something powered by your body would be to deny the ease of current life, and that could lead to be further thinking about those who dont want to follow the near utopia like system-- but. back to vehicles

body powered things like that, may have more levels of strictness in certain areas. because for our main setting (the most strict of places as Elias oversees it directly) tracking tethered vehicles and the way theyre used is important- hacking it, going off road in specific areas, etc result in fines or potentially jail time depending on what youre doing. body powered vehicles like bicycles cant be tracked.... so, thats a problem. most people would wonder why tf youre using something body powered anyways because energy powered bikes are so much easier, mostly when they put you on a track you can just follow with ease! i wouldnt say youd get thrown in jail just for having one lol- youre allowed to indulge in them and say theyre hobbies- and youre allowed to ride them on the tracks provided-- but like anyone else youd be greatly fined for doing something already considered illegal, but maybe with the added consequence of it being taken away from you too.

onto other things though- yes, i didnt really specify other kinds of work vehicles (was on my mind but didnt think to elaborate).

all kinds of work vehicles- like for construction, mail, garbage etc work a bit differently in order to conserve on space. those vehicles as we know are big, and the world has become very tight due to the lack of parking lots and roads.

Garbage trucks dont exactly exist in the same way and are entirely automated- not run by people. for ease of access these automated garbage trucks follow a specific invisible track in order to reach all households and trash containers. they aren't "untethered" in a traditional sense, because they are automated and their paths are predetermined. trash is gathered in specific areas/containers, which is where the garbage truck picks it up.

mail is also automated entirely (but post offices exist still) in a similar fashion as garbage trucks.

for things like.. forklifts, cranes, etc etc- a lot of the time, these vehicles are also automated to come degree, with users actually managing them outside of the vehicle itself (in an office/building where the company owns it). why? think of it this way-- the cities have become very compact in order to fit everything into it. the tracks for subways/trains and individual vehicles take up a lot less space which means more buildings. more buildings and way less roads means everything squashed together. when something needs to be built or taken down in such an area, precision it key and so is making your vehicles super small in order to actually work. Too small and skinny to want to put a person into it- it costs more, it can be dangerous, etc...!

theres probably more i could expand on in this department too-- as work related vehicles turns me to... farming etc... is that automated too? to some level, again yeah. its not to say those kinds of labor jobs dont exist in this world- i am heavily focusing on the current setting which is probably the most "advanced" in this regard, while other countries may not do everything this way because of money/scale/etc. Cryptolalia's world is... supposed to come off like a "utopia" where things are "easy and safe" even if a little strict in places, but often places that dont matter much to those who live there. lots of jobs are admittedly, office jobs... management, organization, political, etc with lots of labor falling out of style unless someone has a passion for it. but that will be a blog post for another day unless anyone is curious about something specific lol.

[kaz11283]

Only One God For Me

(Part 2 of Love Never Wins)

SUMMARY: After blowing up at him afyer weeks of hiding out you challenge Loki to hand to hand. Blowing up might have been the best thing, it could help you let off that frustration you had built up.

Characters: Nat, Clint, Thor, Loki, avengers on the side line.

(Loki x you, clint x you, Thor x you, Nat x you)

ANNOUNCEMENT: I didnt know how much part 1 was going to be but I am forever greatful in this amazing community! Thank you guys SO much! Check out my other stuff too if you like this. As always reblog, ask, comment, and like! After I finish up here I'll be back to writing for Fire and Ice. Thank you again so SO much for everything! 💚💚💚

Loki Master List

~~~~

You and Nat were standing at one end of the training area as Loki walked in. You glanced up from Nat wrapping your hands and noticed he was wearing his normal traing gear. Plain leather black pants with a dark green Henley, his hands already wrapped.

"Focus, your getting distracted." She said yanking on one of the straps.

"Ow. I cant help it Nat, we went from cant keep our hands away from each other to literally fist fighting each other. Ya know this is normally frowned upon is normal society." You streched your fingers out and balled them back up streching out the gloves a little.

"Hunny, even in a perfect world were anything but normal. I mean for god sakes your fighting a literal god. You remember what I taught you. Right?" She asked looking almost terrified for me.

"Yes mother, I havent forgotten. This is gonna be a piece of cake." Inside you were freaking out. You normally was in a very high spot with your bow or normally trying to break into the computers. You wasnt normally in hand to hand combat, but you were smarter than to think you would never need it.

You turned shaking you head and putting the mouth piece in your mouth. Hitting you fist together jumping back and forth getting ready. Loki just stood there smirking. You was gonna smack that smirk off his face.

"Hey sis, Im not saying you cant beat him just be careful. He throws a nasty left hook." Clint said munching on some chips."Thanks, Hawk. Mind explaining why the rest of the team is here?" You mumbled around the mouth piece.

"Thor, definitely Thor." He said walking back to the small group that gathered.

"Sweetheart. Are we gonna fight or are you just gonna stand there chit chatting?" He called across the mat.

"I'm coming." You walked across the mat to the center. Someone hit a bell signaling for the fight to start and he jumped toward you. You dodged his first attemped and circled him slowly. You could read his every move, read where he was going next.

You took a defence stance that Nat had taught you from your training before he lunged again. This time you managed to upper cut him in the side knocking some of the wind from him.

"Oh you little minx. I figured I would take it easy on you but we can play your way also." This time he took a step back centering himself. Looking up you noticed he had a dangerous look in his eye.

"I didnt invite you here to take it easy on me, I invited you because you dont take anything serious. Because if someone like me can beat you in hand to hand then anyone can." You stepped closer to him gauging what move you was going to make next.

He dropped down to the mat attempting to sweep your legs out from under you, he missed one but caught the other causing you to fall. He jumped on top of you pinning your hands above your head. "Now this positions brings back memories." He whispered to you causing your face to turn bring red. You brought your leg up able to wrap it around his waist and slammed him back down to the mat gaining some advantage.

"This one also." He smirked. You raised your fist above you aiming for his face. Whem you brought it down he moved his head causing you to miss. It felt like forever that you were both on the mat neither one gaining aginst the other. A busted lip here a bloody nose there. When the bell rang for a break Nat was in your corner with Clint offering you some water and a rag ti wipe the blood off.

"Sis, I'm try in real hard not to grab an arrow and stabe him with it." Clint said from one side. You could see anger in his eyes.

"Hawk, its fine. Given the circumstance its all good. Its just training in a matter of speaking. Anger is mostly wunning but I got this. I was trained by the best. I'm not even tired." You took another drink of water before going back out to the mat.

"This is fun. I have never seen my brother trying harder to win anything in his life." Thor shouted across the room. "Lady y/n is quite good at sparing. We must fight sometime." Thor laughed.

A few more rounds when and you could feel the weight of the afternoon but you wasjt about to simply throw in the towel just yet. You knew you could get the best of him. You had thrown him back on the mat then he took his feet placing them on your chest shoving you off of him. Before you knew it you were surrounded by multipuls of him.

"Loki we agreed no sedair! This is cheating!" You yelled at them.

"God of Mischief and lies sweetheart. Besides we're in weird predicaments all the time. You said so yourself. Tell you what. You find the real me and I'll forfeit." One of the clones said. You stood up in the middle of them all focusing everything you had on concentrating, ignoring Clint yelling in the background and the rest of the group shouting.

You opened your eyes zeroing in on one closest to you and walked up to him.

"Are you sure your right about this decision?" It mocked.

"Yeah. I think I am." You brought the ball of yoyr fist up crashing it into Loki's nose. The rest of the clones disappered as he fell to his knees in front of you. "You are a complete and utter asshole Loki Odinson. I hope that it messes with you for a while that you got beat by a mortal." You started unwrapping your gloves as you walked away.

Over the next few weeks you avoided every living space in the tower that you knew he would be in. It had truly hurt you that he had cheated during the fight. You still couldnt understand how just months before you couldn't keep your hands off of each other now you were both avoiding each other like the plague.

"Miss y/n. Team has a mission. Tony wants everyone in the confrence room dressed and ready in 15 minutes." JARVIS called pausing your movie. With a roll of your eyes you walked to your bedroom to start getting ready. Pulling out your tight skinny jeans a black tank top and your zip up hoodie you French braided your hair and grabbed your bow case before heading down.

The rest of the team was gathered when you walked in and placed your case on the table opening it up to make sure everything was right. Streching out the strings and making sure the sights were spot on aiming them to the other side of the room where Loki stood.

"It would be more effecitve if you had an arrow." Clint whispered next to you.

"Shut up, I'm just making sure everything is right." You put it back down in the case and started going over your arrows.

"You realize we have a place you can put that when your not using it." Tony said walking around you.

"Right up your ass if you suggest that again." You laughed putting everything back up.

"Love the enthusiasm kid." Tony laughed walking to the front of the table.

"Ok Team, going to be a long few days for us. Just got some Intel about a caravan carrying some explosives across the Scandinavian border. Gonna have to divide into teams for this one. Hawk, Nat, Strange, Rodgers, Bruce, and Thor you'll be starting at the meeting point and working your way toward us. The rest is with me." Tony pulled a map up on the big screen showing where you wwre going.

"Oh come on, why cant I be with the A team?" You asked with a groan.

"Sorry kid, gotta divide it up right. One god for each, one Archer. Only fair. And even if you two hate each other you guys work good together." Tony shrugged.

"Yeah sorry kid." Clint laughed.

"Hey I'm a full three minutes older that you. Probably explains why I'm better. Whatever. I'll go pack my stuff." You huffed standing up.

The next two hours seems to drag by, it was freezing here. You was just ready to get this over with so that you could go back home and relax in a nice warm bath, you pulled your jacket tighter aginst you.

"I've told you many times that you should start wearing the uniform that they gave you. You'll freeze to death one day." Loki said taking off his cloak and putting it around your shoulders.

"Thanks, but I'm still pissed at you." You hugged it closer. "I hate the whole uniform thing. To tight to revealing."

Another few minutes pass before Tony gives everyone the heads up that your about to be over the caravan. Figuring you were warm enough you took the cloak off and handed it back to him. "You may still be pissed at me but I do still care very deeply for you y/n. I was an idiot for everything." He took it and wrapped it around his shoulders. When his fingers grazed yours there was a surge that went through you.

"Give me time. You really hurt me, not just by breaking up with me but by lying to me during training. Good luck out there God of Mischief."

"Tony, your gonna have to get lower i cant get a clear shot on the driver!" You yelled over the wind whipping around your face. About that time a diffrent arrow shot through gettkng the driver in the side causing the vehicle to completly stop.

"Gotta be faster than that sis. One for me." Clint laughed over the com.

"You are my least favorite person right now Hawk." You mumbled. Tony brought the Quinn Jet down so your team could spread out.

"That is truly saying something my dear." Lokis smooth voice said in your ear.

"You gave me your cloak to keep me warm. Gave you a fell points." You pulled back again and shot it through the truck behind the first hitting the driver in the head. "Got one, Hawk, your next."

"Can we cut the chatter. Got alot going on in the sky at the moment." Tony said. Youbcould here something firing above you looking up you could see Tony being followed by a jet firing at him. "Need some back up guys. Twins. Anyone."

"Hawk. I need a Boom Boom stick." You met him in the middle of the road.

"I really wish you wouldnt call them that." He said handing you one. You both pulled your bows back and aimed. "Heads or tails?"

"I like the tails." You let go of the sting and watched as the jet exploded.

"I think she can call them whatever she wants as long as she keeps doing a good job keeping bogies off my ass." Tony yelled over the coms.

"I hate this. I cant see shit down here." You yelled over to Clint. "I gotta get higher." You looked around eyeballing the turnes over truck. You threw the bow across your back and started climbing up the truck. Shots rang around you one grazing your side, before it had started it was like it stopped looking behind you you noticed Loki with his daggers in his hands.

"You need to pay more attention y/n." He scolded you.

"Why pay attention when I have someone keeping an eye out for me." You smiled.

"Oh darling Im doing more than just keeping an eye out." After everything that ass had done to you he was flirting FLIRTING with you.

"Y/N! No. More. Gods." Clint yelled. From here you could see everything going on. Nat fighting two men, you took one out easily from your spot. She shot you a thumbs up. Bruce had hulked out throwing things everywhere, multiple times you had to dodge something flying your way. The fight was almost over when you glanced behind you noticing four men backing Loki aginst a turned over car.

His hands were up as if in surrender. "Loki why arent you using your sedair?" You mumbled pulling the bow back.

"Well darling you could say that I am in on of those weird predicaments. I've exahusted alot of my power down here." His back was aginst the truck now.

"Could let him get beat up." Clint pipped in as you shot one of your last arrows though two of the guys standing there. You watched Loki easily take out the other two.

"Told you Hawk, I'm not like that." You smiled walking over to Loki. "Although you could use a little practice in hand to hand, dont you agree?"

"Only if your the one practicing with me he smailed down at you.

"Ugh! Y/n! No mo-" Clint started before you pulled the com from your ear.

"Only one God for me." You leaned up kissing Loki on the cheek.

~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

[strawberrywritings]

Pastello Bianco

A/N: Found this song and thought: why not? I kind of want to do a series (if you can call it that) based on Pinguini Tattici Nuceari’s songs because I’ve been listeniing to them non-stop and they’re genius! But I do not guarantee. Also, yes, hi, it’s me again, coming on here to post something nobody asked for. You can find the song here and the full English translation here. Hope you enjoy it!🍓❤

Warnings: sad times + I haven’t written in months

/ Masterlist / masterlist 2

E se m'hai visto piangere (If you saw me crying) Sappi che era un'illusione ottica (Just know that it was only an optical illusion) Stavo solo togliendo il mare dai miei occhi (I was just getting the sea out of my eyes)

Your brows knitted in confusion once you spotted Angel hunched over the bed, his back to the door, where you currently stood. You’d never seen him cry, was he crying? Yeah, you were almost sure he was. You could hear quiet sniffles.

Knocking on the door, you made your presence known, a small smile at your lips, ready to comfort him. He turned his head towards you, looking over his shoulders to see you standing at the door of his room. He turned back around, looking straight ahead and trying to compose himself, not wanting you to know that he was, in fact, crying. Wiping the few tears that were just below his lower lash line, he put on a brave face, the face that always made him look so sure of himself, he had mastered it over the years.

He got up and walked over to where you were standing, giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead, as you let him envelope your body in his, grateful for the heat his body brought to yours, feeling calm, letting out a breath when his fingers sneaked below your shirt, making contact with the skin of your waist.

“How was your day?”, he asked, not moving from the position, keeping his cheek pressed to your head, the smell of your hair filling his nostrils and making him more at ease. “Good – you answered, your hands moving soothingly up and down his back – how ‘bout you? You okay?”, you murmured, kissing his cheek and moving your head so you could look him in the eyes.

Mi chiedi come sto e non te lo dirò (You ask me how I'm doing but I won't tell you)

“Yeah, I’m good”, he mumbled, keeping you tight against him. The way he was breathing and the sound of his voice gave him away, though, but if you noticed, which you had, you didn’t point it out: if he didn’t say what was bothering him, it meant that he didn’t want to share it and you were fine with it. He knew he could come to you if he needed help. Instead, he kept to himself, like he always did, but there was only so much he could take… it got to a point he felt like he was about to explode, and yet he didn’t let anything show, opting to cry in the shower or when sleeping alone in his bed. You already had too much on your plate, he didn’t have to add his problems. It wasn’t fair to you.

I tuoi segreti poi a chi li racconterai (So who are you going to tell your secrets to?) Tu che rimani sempre la mia password del Wi-Fi (You're still my Wi-Fi password) E chi sa se lo sai (And maybe you don't even know it)

After your breakup, he tried to set a routine that would help him not to think about you. He worked at the scrapyard, he went on rides, he went to parties, he started working out more, he was doing everything in his power to avoid letting his brain run free, trying to occupy it with other thoughts in order to keep you out of his head. The only reason he noticed that your name was still the password to his wi-fi was because the new prospect asked if he could connect his laptop to the wi-fi. And your name sounded bitter in his mouth, he said it like he almost didn’t want to pronounce it, and saying it out loud brought back all the memories that he had kept stashed in the back of his mind, he hadn’t forgotten the pain in your eyes when you parted ways, or the sound of your voice when you said goodbye for the last time.

E scrivevo tutti i miei segreti (And I used to write down all my secrets) Col pastello bianco sul diario (With a white crayon in my diary) Speravo che venissi a colorarli (Hoping you would come and color them in)

Perché un addio suona troppo serio (Goodbye sounds too serious) E allora ti dirò bye bye (So I'll just tell you "bye bye")

You approached his house with a bag in hand, full of the things that Angel had left at your apartment, and you had come to retrieve the things you had left at his place. The exchange was almost silent, you greeted each other, avoiding saying anything that could ruin the moment, no empty words or empty promises, nothing more than what was necessary. When you were done collecting your things, he was in his living room, inspecting the stuff that you had brought back almost as if he didn’t recognize his own possessions. You stood in front of the door for a few seconds, before gaining his attention by announcing that you were leaving. He came to open the door for you and watched as you put your stuff in the car, climbing in and turning the engine on. If you had to speak again, you’d have burst into tears, so you opted for a small wave, trying to control your breathing and not cry in front of him. He didn’t say goodbye, that word sounded bad, and heavy, and emotional, and he really couldn’t bring himself to even look you in the eyes as you drove away from his house. When the noise of your car was replaced by silence again, he let out a shaky breath and went back inside, having to face the memories that were encased in the bag you had returned to him.

E ti auguro il meglio, i cieli stellati, le notti migliori e le docce di altri (I wish you all the best, starry skies, the best of nights, and someone else's shower)

Dove tu forse non stonerai più (where maybe you won't be so out of tune)

While getting the shower ready after his workout, he put a random playlist on, and the sound bounced off the walls as he turned the volume higher. You liked to blame your off-key singing o the acoustics of his bathroom and he just liked poking your sides, making a funny remark about how you should audition for X-factor, then. He hoped you’d find a bathroom where your voice didn’t sound as bad as it did in his, and he hoped you’d be happy, even if it wasn’t going to be on the back of his truck while stargazing. He hoped you’d be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

taglist: (it’s the usual one, tell me if you wanna be added or removed❣) @sesamepancakes @i-love-scott-mccall @mayans-sauce @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @angelreyesgirl @my-rosegold-soul @deeandbobbymcgee @chibsytelford @rebelwrites @littleesilvia @woahitslucyylu @sadeyesgf @elcococruz @cocotheclown @sheeshgivemeabreak @blessedboo @brattyfics @thesandbeneathmytoes @enamoured-x @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @blackmissfrizzle @thickemadame @peaches007 @ly-canthrope @justahopelessssromantic @everyhowlmarksthedead @samcrobae @cind-in-real-life @mrsjaxtellerfan @gemini0410 @brownsugarcoffy @losolvidad0s @marvelmaree @noz4a2 @-im-fantastic- @destynelseclipsa @danie1432 @krysiewithak @ellieereads @wrcn9fvlcver @buttercup812

[phoebe-delia]

So not to be a creep but I’ve been checking your blog throughout the day to see when you’d be posting thoughts on the new TSwift songs.

I just saw your reblog to sitp-recs and YAY IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HEARD “RUN!” AND IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT DRARRY!!

“Run like you’d run from the law”???? All the talk about keeping things secret and running away and hiding and no one understanding????

THATS MY BOYS 😭😭😭

(I’m sorry this was a lot but who else was going to understand?)

Anon,

I grinned when I got this ask. I honestly didn't think anyone would care that much about my thoughts on the songs, but if you're asking I'm more than happy to share! And if you're comfortable feel free to drop another ask or shoot me a DM with your own thoughts :)

First I'll give overall thoughts and then I'll delve into a few more specifics, as well as a tiny bit of Drarry stuff! This is going to be a lonnnggg post which I suspect very few people—if any—are really interested in reading. But if you are, then stick around! And please feel free to share what you think in the comments, DMs or ask box! <3

Overall I LOVED it. The production was amazing and very cohesive. And oh my goodness her VOICE has grown so so so much. It's hard to realize the difference when we just listen to stuff like folklore or evermore or even reputation, but her voice has developed a lot. It's a lot stronger than it used to be when she first recorded Red—and that's saying something because her voice was great then, too!!

Like with Fearless TV, it really felt like a more grown-up Taylor reflecting on her early life, and it was emotional to listen to this album now when I so vividly remember it coming out at the time. It's also so clear that Taylor had fun rerecording it. Her passion for her old music is always so wonderful to see—that she's not the least bit ashamed or shying away from her early work, because it feels like we really grew up with her, yk? And all the parts of ourselves—past and present—deserve to be celebrated.

Now for some specifics.

It was sooo fun to hear her say "who is taylor swift anyway?" in 22, and her little dialogue in WANGBT (although the "weeEE" in the chorus of WANGBT made me laugh a little lmao). And Stay Stay Stay was a lot better—don't get me wrong I liked the original too but this version was even better.

Also I LOVED Holy Ground. I loved that song before—I dedicated a fic to it in the TS/Drarry series!—but I was so satisfied with this version.

The Moment I Knew is and continues to be the melodramatic bop we all know and love. Girl at Home was good, but it was a bit of a shock. It's just so different from the original, and sonically it reminded me of 1989. Still, it was enjoyable.

Okay now the vault tracks:

Better Man and Babe?? incredible. Message in a Bottle is SUCH a bop (and I see some potential Drarry vibes 👀)

Also, I Bet You Think About Me is soooo funny and one of my favorite vault tracks. Forever Winter is so good and sad.

Run is SUCH ROA VIBES!!!! You said it perfectly so I won't add on more than to say it's like the theme song.

Nothing New—I was SO excited to see Phoebe Bridgers get a full verse!! The song itself is also just amazing. love it.

The Very First Night is also a bop. Really fun and a great vibe.

Okay. Now for the song we've been wanting for 9 years: ATW 10 minute version.

I was floored. I knew I would be. I mean she wrote a 10-minute version of my favorite song?? I was shook.

The lyrics are incredible (although I'm a little confused by the "fuck the patriarchy keychain" part, but my theory is that it's a little Picture to Burn reference bc of the "stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive" and now with Jake being like "you drive idc." That's my theory but she also released keychains with that phrase on it, so. idk.)

Okay but the REST of it. There are too many lyrics to point out, but she really holds nothing back and it's just a tour de force. I also loved her harmonizing with herself instead of the other voices that were there in the original.

The only other thing I'll say about this song is that I've added one more songfic to the plan for the TS as Drarry series ;)

Anon thank you SO much again for the ask. It means more than I can quite say that you like my blog and care enough to hear my thoughts. I started this blog and began writing the fics in hopes that I'd reach people like you! <3